davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
oRK," COMMENTED THE JANIToR AS THE BOOT SLID OFF.

Cleveland Plain Dealer. When his
turn came to be interviewed he said
that he wanted to sue man for heavy
damages. He had been run down by a
motor car; his shoulder was dislocat-
ed, his clothes torn, his ankle sprained
severely. He had been knocked into
the gutter and the driver of the car
had put on full speed without trying
to ascertain the condition of the vic
tim. The latter had taken the number
of the car, however and he said he
could produce witnesses. It was a good
case, and the lawyer agreed to take it.
Eff can't pay you no money
now, sir" mumbled the client, in an
embarrassed manner. 81 amt got a
cent, an if you don't want ter
That's all right" said the lawyer.
We'll settle that when l win your
case. By the way, if you're broke you'll
need little to go on" And a green.
back changed hands.
There wouldn't have been much of a
story in this if the motor car victim
hadn't gone to five other lawyers in
the same building before he consid-
cred that his case would be sufficiently
well handled. He collected about $50
and then recovered from his bruises
and disappeared.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Poor Charities.

There are charity societies, as al
the world knows, that only give to Inc
poor a quarter or a half cent OF every
dollar they take in, most Of their SUD
scriptions going for salaries to OH
GERS and investigators, for expensive
rentals, ETC.
Richard March, the charity expert Oh
Denver, Colo, was condemning tneSs
charities. He said:
"A mans wife shouted up to Did
the other day: e
Don't you think this blue over
coat with the strapped-in back is l0O
new and fashionable, George, to give
away?'
e It's the agent of the Alpha lnco,
porated Charities that's at the dOO
isn't it?'
eyes, dear
"'Then let the coat CO. said GeOrSs
It'll be old enough and old-fashOlsee
enough before it gets to the poor uu'
that is shivering for il now.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

Zone thing it ought to learn you is
not to be so dern obliging," the jan.
itor continued, after glazing a moment
or two on the abashed assistant HYou
amt in Souwegia now. You're in the
land of the free where one mans
just as good as another and blamed
sight better, as the fellow says. You
want to keep that in mind and see that
everybody else does. You go around
doing things for people that they can
do for themselves or hire done just
as well as not, and it won't be but a
little while before you're a-working
over hours and giving out the i'm
preston that your time amt worth
nothing. When a man once begins
to make a pack horse Of himself,
everybody for miles around will come
a-running with full sack to put on
him, and they'll give him the CAD if
he amt moving fast enough to suit
'em.
Yesterday seen you run out and
pick up a box guy had dropped out
Of his dray and carry it over half a
block to where he had pulled up and
was awaiting for you. / guess that
box weighed forty or fifty pounds,
but you didn't care. If it had been a
safe, it would have been all the same.
You was a-goin' to be accommodating
if you bust them new suspenders of
yours. Wouldn't have done to have
hollered at him and let him drive back
for it and load it in himself, would
it? You amt mean enough to do a
trick like that, are you? What did
you get for that there kind act? You
needn't lie, because heard the cuss-
ing he gave you for hosting the box
onto his corn.
"And it wasn't ten minutes after
that that you dropped your broom
onto the sidewalk and jumped to
open the door for the old woman in
IS just because she had few par
GELS in her arms. She couldn't have
laid them parcels down and opened
the door herself, could she? Certain
iy not. She'd have probably waited
there all afternoon. And what did
The do when you had opened the
door? Asked you II you wouldn't ring
her bell for her, and you done it, just
the same as you bumped your back
helping them huskies up three flights
this morning with the piano. They
give you an invite to go around the
corner with them and wet up, didn't
they? Not much, they didn't. They
was afraid of hurting your feelings,
and they didn't know but what you
might be on the water wagon any
way. What they done was to blame
the plaster they knocked off the wall
onto you when spoke to them about
It, and then drive over to Mikes by
themselves.
I'll tell you, Nels," said the JAM.
tor. You want to understand that
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

I'm an obliging man, myself. why u
was only last fall one of the tenants
comes to me and slips me Hve-spot
and says he'd like to have me look
after his bull pup for a couple oil
weeks while he was of on his vaca-
ton. / didn't hang back. l told MIN
that | was willing to accommodate
MIN. and done so. That was some
pup, too. / want to tell you. Inside
of the two weeks that fellow was
gone. I matched him up against four
different dogs that was considered
pippins. and what l did to the ginks
that backed 'em was a sin and
shame. | could tell you. of lots or
other obliging things I've done right
in this building, if wanted to brag.
1 believe in being helpful. ! amt OPP
posed to it in moderation, only like
to feel tolerable certain that the guy
| help is going to appreciate what !
do for him and that he is in position
to show it.
Don't get the idea that I'm all the
time a-looking for thanks, 1 amt.
Mike was telling me one time about
a friend of his that started up
poultry farm out near Lake Forest.
He was a grateful man, Mikes friend
was, and every time his hens laid an
egg he thanked them for it. After
while the hens quit laying and he
come to Mike and wanted to know
what was the best thing to do.
Try some chicken feed on en-
says Mike.
..Now / amt no hen, Nels, but I
like some chicken feed now and
then" said the janitor, as he pulled
on his shoes. And you remember
what I've told you. What did you get
when you accommodated me just
now?
''You got the boot, Nels, my friend,
and that's what they all get. Now
you can shake down them CRATES"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

There was one disappointment for
those who attended the wedding, for
the gifts were not put on display. 1t
is known that these included many
beautiful and valuable articles sent
by relatives and personal friends of
the bride and groom and of their fam
lilies and by admirers of President
Wilson. Handsome presents were
sent by both the senate and the house,
that of the latter being a diamond Ia
valliere which Miss Genevieve Clark,
daughter of the speaker, bought for
the representatives in New York.
Guests Limited to 400.
Those who were invited to witness
the wedding were mostly personal
friends and the number was kept down
close to four hundred. The list was
pared and revised several times, and
as has been said, the operation result
ed in many heartburnings. From the
house of representatives circle, for
instance, the only guests were Speaker
Champ Clark, Mrs. Clark and Miss
Genevieve Clark, Marjory Leader I'm
derwood and Mrs. Underwood, and
Minority Leader Mann and Mrs. Mann.
AS might be expected, the streets
outside the White House were as
crowded as the police would permit
with curious persons eager to watch
the arrival and departure of the guests
and trying to obtain through the win
dows a glimpse of the doings within.
The police arrangements were admir-
able and nothing happened, in the
White House or outside, to mar the
happy occasion.
The wedding of Mr. Sayresand Miss
Wilson was the thirteenth to be cele-
brated in the White House, but the
bride has always considered Is her
lucky number instead of a hoodoo.
There have been more than twenty
weddings in which either the bride or
groom resided in the White House,
and the last wedding ceremony per-
formed there was the one which united
Alice Roosevelt and Nicholas Long
worth. Today's event was much quiet
er than that one, and the guests not
nearly so numerous.
Mrs. Sayre Social Worker.
Mrs. Sayre was born in GAINESVILLE,
Pa, twenty-five years ago. She at
tended the Women's college at Balti-
more and was an honor member of
the class of 1908, being also elected a
member of Phi Beta Kappa. For two
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
FULLY NoURIsHE0
Grape-Nuts Perfectly Balanced row"

No chemists analysis of Grape-Nus,
can begin to show the real Valu0 w
the food the practical value as SnO"1
by personal experience. IL
1t is a food that is perfectly W,
anced, supplies the needed clemens
for both brain and body in all s'ds ~
of life from the infant, through ~, -
strenuous times of active mldalo LA IA
and is a comfort and support II ~
age.
"For two years have used 0'S =,
Nuts with milk and a little cream -,
breakfast. / am comfortably nune''
for my dinner at noon. =,
Il use little meat, plenty OF 'O tSo
tables and fruit, in season, Iol w.. 40
noon meal, and if tired at tea I'm a,,
take Grape-Nuts alone and Ieei =
fectly nourished. orc
NERVE and brain power anu ln .;ns
DRY are much improved since u0 sgb
Grape-Nuts. 1 am over sixty ana "o si0e
155 lbs. My son and husband soo I'M
how I had improved are now u'lD7
Grape-Nuts. 81 ,an
"My son. who is a travelling nn -.
eats nothing for breakfast bur us~ ,nt
Nuts and a glass of milk. An M
over 20, seems fully nourlsnsa, !
Grape-Nuts and cream" "inei0
Reason" notfs
Name given by Postum Co., Ba'f .
Creek, Mich. Read "The ho@u
WellviIle," in pkgs. ..r
Ever read the above letter. a Tbsy
one appears from time to ting s humsp
are genuine, true, and full %
interest.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
What Becomes of Old Clothes?

Black cloth clothes purchased by
secondhand dealers, provided they are
too far gone to be revived" are sent
to France, Russia, and Poland to be
made into caps, which the working
people of these countries wear. The
cast-of red coats of the British SOL
dlers almost all go to Holland, for in
that damp country the people have a
notion that red cloth keeps off rheu-
matism; therefore, all careful Dutch
men of the laboring classes wear red
cloth waistcoats next their skin.
THESE are made by cutting off the
sleeves of the British soldiers red
coats and altering the shape little.
The snowy uniforms of the guards
and the fulldress liveries of the lord
mayors footmen and the royal SER
wants come into the hands of the old
clothes dealers, and go chiefly to the
south coast of Africa, where they ara
sold to the native chiefs.
Travellers are sometimes amused at
being received in full state by
sWarthy chief on his throne dressed
out IN footman's livery or ri1eman,s
uniform Northern Weekly Gazette
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
The Basement
Philosopher
By KENNETH HARRIS
& OpyEigbt. 1913. by w G. chapman)


..Nels, my friend" said the janitor
to his Scandinavian assistant, with
more than his usual blandness, "Nels,
my friend, would you do me the favor
to bring me them there old shoes
that's a-standing behind the door
Thank you kindly. I'm much obliged
to you, Nels. You're an accommodate
Ing sort of a guy, you are, and I've
been a-noticing It, And now since
you're here, maybe you'll pull off these
here boots of mine for me. They're
hurting my feet considerable"
The janitor leaned back in his
chair and his assistant, backing up to
him, straddled the extended leg and
STOPPING, grjpped the heel of boot
that was well plastered with recent
mud. The 2anitor placed his other
foot against that part of his assist
ants person that was nearest and
pushed fir,nly but gently.
Good ,2ork.'' commented the jan
itor, as the boot slid off. 81 never
seen that better done. Now for the
other ore, if it amt troubling you too
much
The operation was repeated but
this time the janitor applied so much
forcG to his part of it that the assist
anr was propelled violently forward on
his hands and knees, from which pos
tire he arose with red face, mutter-
ing words in a strange tongue.
Holy smoke!" calculated the jan
itor, with an appearance of extreme
irritation. What was you a-trying to
do? Throw somersaults? Say, didn't
you know that boot was a-going to
come off, or did you think you was
hitched up to a load of coal on an
upgrade? It's a pity you didn't run
your thick head into the wall You've
got lots of sense, you have. Skinned
your knuckles, have you? I'm glad of
it. Maybe it'll learn you something.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
JEsslE's WEDDING CAKE.

Jessie Wilson's wedding cake
was triumph of the pastry cooks
art. It was two and a half feet
tall, counting the white orchids
that were placed on top of it, and
weighed 1875 pounds. The first
layer was four inches thick and %
inches across. The cake contained
10 ingredients and its cost was
about $500. Over the body of the
cake was nodded a thick white
icing scroll work, on it's top was a
design for the initials of the bride
and groom, done in silver, and
around the sides were lilies of the
valley in white sugar. This deli
cious CONNECTION was distributed in
1000 dainty white boxes tied with
satin ribbon and each of the proper
size to go under the pollow of the
recipient to bring dreams.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28


Washington, Nov. 25.-In the beau
tiful east room Of the White House
at 4:30 o'clock this afternoon Jessie
Woodrow Wilson, second daughter of
the president, was made the wife of
Francis Bowes Sayre. Rev. Sylvester
Beach of Princeton, N. j., performed
the ceremony.
The entire affair was very simple,
as had been requested by the bride,
and the number of guests was rather
small istressingly so to many per-
sons in official and social circles of
Washington who had expected to re-
ceive invitations but were disappoint-
ed.
Miss Margaret Woodrow Wilson,
eldest of the three daughters, acted
as maid of honor to her sister, and
X Miss Eleanor Randolph Wilson, the
youngest, was one of the bridesmaids.
The three other bridesmaids were
Miss Adeline Mitchell Scott of Prince
ton, daughter of Prof. William B.
Scott; Miss Marjorie Brown of Allan
ia, Pa, daughter of Mrs. Wilson's cous-
in, Col e. T. Brown, and Miss Mary
G. White of Baltimore, college friend
of the bride.
DR.. GrenfeII Is Best Man.
Mr.. Sayre was attended by his best
man, Dr. Wilfred T. Grenfel1, the ia
nous medical missionary to the fisher
men of the Labrador coast. The two
men have long been fast friends and
Mr. Sayre spent two summers help
ing DR.. Grenfell with his work.
The ushers were Charles e. Hughes,
Jr., son of Justice Hughes of the SUI
preme court and a classmate of Mr..
Sayre in the Harvard law school; DR..
Gilbert Horax of Montclair N. j.. who
was a classmate at Williams college
in 1909 and now at Johns Hopkins uni
versity; Benjamin Burton of New
York city, and DR.. Scoville Clark Of
Salem, Mass, who was Mr. Sayre's
companion in Labrador and Newfound-
lands
Wedding Gown of Ivory Satin.
The brides gown was of satin, Of
a soft ivory tint, trimmed with beau
titul lace, both old and rare. 1t was
made in New York and the women
connoisseurs declared that it was a
masterpiece. The lingerie in the
trousseau is of the most dainty mate
rial and is all hand made. The maid
of honor and bridesmaids were beauti-
FULLY gowned and all looked their best
Coming right in the midst of the
chrysanthemum season, this was
made a chrysanthemum wedding and
that flower was used most profusely
in adjoining the White House. AS the
brides favorite color is mauve, that
was made the prevailing color in the
decorations. The east room, and in
deed all the rooms in the presidents
mansion, were beautiful indeed.
Depart on Their Honeymoon.
After the ceremony was completed
and the couple had received the con-
gratulations of the guests, refresh
ments were served, and then Mr.. and
Mrs. Sayre departed for their honey
moon. Their plans include a visit to
the home of Miss Nevin, Mr.. Sayre's
aunt, at Windsor FORCES, near Church
town, Pa, where they first met. After
January / they will live in Williams
town, Mass, for Mr.. Sayre is to sever
his connection with the Office of Dis
trict Attorney Whitman in New York
and become assistant to Harry A. Gar
field, president of Williams college.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

years after her graduation she en-
gagged in settlement work in Kensing-
ton, Pa, and she is a member of the
executive board Of the National Young
Woman's Christian association. She
has delivered several excellent adj
dresses in public.
In appearance she does not resem-
BILE her father as much as do her sis
tiers, having rather the features of her
mothers family, the Axsons. She is
an accomplished swimmer, rider and
tennis player and also something of
an actress.
Something About the Groom.
Francis Bowes Sayre is twenty
eight years old, and was born at
South Bethlehem, Pa, a son of the
late Robert Heysham Sayre, who built
the Lehigh Valley railroad and at
one time was assistant to the presi-
dent of the Bethlehem iron works,
since known as the Bethlehem steel
works. He was also once president
university.
Francis Bowes Sayre graduated from
Lawrenceville school, Lawrenceville,
N. j., in 1904, and from Williams col
lege in 1909. He entered Harvard law
school and graduated "cum laude."
He was member of the Sigma Phi
fraternity, Gargoyle society and the
Phi Beta Kappa at Williams. For the
past year he has been working in the
Office of District Attorney Whitman OF
New York. During the summer he
was admitted to the bar of New York
state.
Mr.. Sayre's mother is Mrs. Martha
Ffnlay Sayre, daughter of the late
William Nevin, who was president of
Franklin and Marshal college at
Lancaster, Pa. She is a descendant of
Hugh Williamson of North Carolina,
one of the trainers of the Constitution
of the United States, and is a sister
of the late Robert Nevin, head of the
American church at Rome, and a. cous-
in Of Ethelbert Nevin, the composer.
Other White House Weddings.
The wedding of Jessie Wilson and
Francis Sayre was the thirteenth to be
solemnized in the White House. The
first was that Of Anna Todd, niece of
Dolly Madison's first husband, and
John G. Jackson. Then Mrs. Madi-
sons sister, Lucy, was married to
Judge Todd of Kentucky. The third
wedding, that of Maria Monroe, daugh-
ter of President Monroe, to Samuel
Lawrence Gouverneur in 1920 marked
the first social use of the east room
Eight years later John, the second son
of President John Quincy Adams, mar
ried his cousin, Mary HELEN, in the
blue room. While General Jackson
was president there were three we'd
dings in the White House; those of
Della Lewis to Alphonse Joseph Yver
Pageot of the French legation; Mary
Eaton to Lucien B. Polk, and Emily
Martin to Louis Randolph. Many
years passed before there was anoth-
er marriage ceremony in the presi-
dents mansion, the next being of Mel
lie, the only daughter of General
Grant, and Algernon c. E.. Sartoris.
In 1876 Emily Platt, niece Of Mrs.
Hayes, was married in the blue room
to Gen. Russell Hastings. The elev-
enth of this series of weddings was
that of President Cleveland to Frances
Folsom, and the twelfth that of Presi-
dent Roosevelts daughter Alice, to
Nicholas Longworth.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Women as q Power.

IF ever the time comes when wo-
men shall come together simply and
purely for the benefit of mankind. it
will be power such as the world has
never dreamed of."-Matthew Arnold.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Cautious Porter.

80 you gave up your job at the
depot?"
YES, sub. I amt liftin' no mo suit
cases. When dem militant sufra
gettes is so busy dar ain no telin
which of 'em is kerryin' wardrobe an
which is kerryin' dynamite
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Hint to Husbands.

Knicker-Is Smith az optimiste
Bocker-Yes; as soen as the tars
bill was signed he cut his wifes Al
lowance because the cost of living i
coming down.-New York Sun.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
When Mendinu Umbrellas.

Take a small piece of black stick
ing plaster and soak it until it is
quite soft; place it carefully under the
hole inside and let it dry. This is bet
ter than darning. as it closes the hole
neater without stitching.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Nun cedl

Ethel-Jack said last night he'd
kiss me or die in the attempt.
Kitty-Good gracious! And did he
kiss you?
Ethel Well, you haven't heard Of
his death, have you?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Have TO Make More Waits

Il see by the papers" said Perkins.
chat a fellow swan to Boston in
eight hours
Aha" said Gherkins, q wonder
how long it would take him to swim
there loaded?"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Real Test of svmnathv

Anybody can sympathize with the
sufferings of friend. but it requires a
very fine nature-it requires, in fact,
the nature of true individualist-to
sympathize with a friends success
Oscar Wilde.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Heard at Long RANGE.

Uppson-You have a new baby at
your house, l hear.
Downing Great guns! And we live
four miles apart! l had no idea any
one could hear him that distance
London Tit-Bits.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Honeymoon Over.

Wife (pouting) You have ceased /,
love.
Hub (enjoying cigar and nevsm
per)-No. my dear; I've only ces,ei
making love to you.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
His Retort.

you proposed to me a dozen times
before / finally accepted you"
yep. I always do have a tough
time getting you to agree to any,
thing ] want. Detroit Free Press
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Honest Dealer

Does that parrot use bad Ian.
guage?"
Wen, mum, that ere bird amt no
purist, cause he amt had no college
eoolcat1on, an bein' as how he were
Taught TO talk by sailor, his Eng
iish amt none too good, but I.va
never heard him swear
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
SHAKE INTO YonR sno...

Aliens Foot Ease, the Antiseptic pcEsia- -,
Tender. swollen, nervous feet. Gives NJ M lo
comfort Makes walking delight Sold av, .Nl nj
26c. Don t accept any substitute Far rp,!,sA
ple address Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Rov \ 'scE 'ss
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Musical Item.

An efficiency" expert without music
IN his soul is figuring out now many
nails bass drummer could drive
With the same expenditure of en-
erey
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Mean Intimation

Cholly-Did you see where h.,
had such big lobster in Boston.
Maude-Why, you weren't bs,.
were you?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
Mizpah.

The word Mizpah or Mizpeh, is He
brew, and means Watch Tower" For
example. see Genesis 31:49, where we
read, @And Mizpah, for he said, the
Lord watch between me and thee.
when we are absent one from anoth.
err For additional light on the sub
ject you may look at Judges 1917;
I'LL; 20:1. Also /. Samuel, 7:5; 1917
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

Stubborn Colds and irritate3 j,
Tubes are easily relieved by Dear KEMP ,1
tholated Cough Drops-5c at In rr lla
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
A Surmise

"Dobbs is a mild-mannered man,
Yes he is. / wonder if he's nstn,.,
ly so, or married?"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for o..
tsething, softens the gums, reduces !. cailtp
tion, allays pain,cures wind cole % y aars
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28

Young widows talk too MUGS
the joys of married life to snit !. ss'9
bachelor. 81 q
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-11-28
PUT UNDER CONTRIBUTION
Cleveland Lawyers Left Holding the
Bag" After Tramp Made Good
His Departure.

A pathetic looking tramp hobbled
into lawyers Office in the downtown
district a few weeks ago, relates the