davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Prince paniIe.. Story.


The patriarchai manners of the little
court Of Montenegro are well known
King Nicholas lives the simple life of q
shepherd king. and bis wife has brought
up her family herself. Every evening
she used to bring the children round
her. those daughters whom King Mich
olas is once said to have mentioned IL
reply to the accusation that his country
had no exports. and the son. Prince
Dunio.
Every night she told them one of the
legends of the Black mountains from
which their country takes its name
and every night the little children had
in turn to tell her story. the most sue
cessful being rewarded with a sweet
meat.
One evening little Danilo was very
thoughtful and refused to tell his story
saying he WIS really too sad.
Come. come. Danii0; must insist,
said his mother.
"a very short one, then"
'All right. very short one"
''And you will kiss me after have
told it,"
Its IL promise"
We'll. then. once upon time there
was II Sevres vase. and have just bro
ken it,
The Sevres vase was present from
the French republic. but Danilo's moth
er had to keep her word and kiss tht
culprit-New York Sun.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
An EI.,ix, PAINTING.

l. Carroll Beckwith. the artist, once
told story about weird painting he
happened to run across In a little art
shop In Paris. He looked at II for some
time with interest, thinking 1t to be q
design for Persian rug.
what nice hearth rug!" he re-
marked Approximately to the saleswo-
man.
"Nonsense!" replied she. THAT'S not
a hearth rug. That's a Portrait" And
she proceeded TO point out hands and
features In what to Beckwith was SIM
ply bewildering mass of paint
do you really see all that7" asked
Beckwith with admiration.
"Oh. as to seeing It," answered the
saleswoman, you never can tell. Some
times we see 1t and sometimes we
don't"-New York Post.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

II you cannot on the ocean
SAIL among the swiftest fleet.
Rocking on the highest billow.
Laughing at the storms you meet.
You can stand among the sailors
Anchored yet within the bay.
You can lend hand to help them
As they launch their boats away.
II you cannot in the harvest
Garner up the richest sheaves
Many grain both ripe and golden
May the careless renpers leave.
Go and CLEAN among the briers
Growing rank against the wall.
For 1t may be that their shadow
Hides the heaviest wheat of all
Do not. then. stand idly waiting
For some greater work to do.
Fortune Is a fickle goddess.
She will never come to you.
Go and toll In any vineyard.
Do not fear to do and dare.
II you want a field of labor
You can find 1t anywhere.
Margaret e. 6angster
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
~ The
Scrap Book
old .E.sl. Eyes" Mean Trick.

Jake Beckley was one of the few
players who ever made me look like a
monkey" said old Honus Wagner Of
the Pirates the other day. 1T happen-
ed In Louisville years ago. and Tim
Hurst was umpiring. l was on first
buse and saw jake hide the ball under
his arm. told him several times | was
wise to such bush league stun. but
Jake pretended he did not hear. Final
ly. when Hurst was not looking.
grabbed the ball from under Jake's arm
and threw 1t into right 6eld. Then
started for second base. only to have
the pitcher throw another ball to the
second baseman. and ! was run down
between the bases. | felt 80 cheap
could have dropped clean through to
China. Beckley had been holding
dummy ball."-New York Press.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Til. Conductor. Mistake.

A conductor on the 1t. Louis and
Suburban railrJnd had such good run
of business Sunday afternoon that he
had difficulty in keeping himself sup.
piled with small change Many pas
sengers who patronized his car handed
him dollnrs and bills of larger denomi.
nations in payment Of their fares. The
conductor. however. managed to gel
along fairly well until woman carry.
ing n tiny infant boarded his car
When he approached the woman fol
her fare she handed him FIVE dollar
bill.
''ls that the smallest you have. mad
am:" queried the conductor. fearing
another stringency in change.
The woman looked ut the conductor
aud then ut her baby and made this
surprising reply. Yes; have beer
married only twelve months"
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
the JACKSON
HIGHWAY PLAN
Cooperation Between Counties
Along tn, Route.
FROM GULF TO GREAT LAKES
Miss Alma Rittsnbsrry, Chairman Of
the jackson Highway COMMITTEES
Tells Of the Work Done Toward
National Monument to Ex- President.

The Alabama Daughters of 1872 are
behind the movement to build n trans
continental highway connecting the
lakes and the gulf-n connection need
ed-in honor of Andrew jackson,
monument to the man who did much
for this great section traversed by the
Jackson highway. but who has very
few monuments built in his honor. says
Alma Rittenberry in Southern Good
Roads.
In June. 1910. bill in congress TO
build highway from Washington to
Gettysburg as monument to Lincoln
was generally commented on by the
leading papers of the country. The
Birmingham Ledger at that time speak
ing on "ROads For Monuments" said:
''rhe proposition to build big road
from Washington to Gettysburg as
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
AN InsoLeNT WRITER.
He Found He Couldn't pietats - Q.
Typical John Bull.

Typical John Bull.
That sprouting Scotch peer. the Earl
Of IRvou. who rebuked q ship news re-
porter who approached him BY declar.
ing ttat no gentleman ever speaks to
another without an introduction: II
simply isn't DONE is an old friend Of
James Francis Dwyer. the Australian
novelIst-that is. Dwyer doesn't actu,
ally know the Earl Of Levon. but be
knows his sweetiy British sort.
~ ought to-" said Dryer. II was
broke In London and learned to
know the true Briton. Once an
swered an advertisement for literary
secretary. To make certain that my
letter would be read ! wired the ad.
vertiser as follows:
lido not engage literary secrctnry
until you have read my letter Of ap'
plication.'
'"rhat letter was n gem. I thought ]
would land the place with 1t sure.
WINS certain OF II when large. square
letter directed me to appear at nam
ed address ut a given hour. 1t was u
four penny bus ride. but ! didn't care.
My fortune was opening out before me.
l squandered the fourpence without a
misery thought. A pompous butler
ushered me into black oak library.
where the original stuffed model of
John Bull sat at a table, sat down
meekly and waited to be spoken to.
"Blam. He hit the desk with bis
clinched hand.
"'YOu canDot dictate to an English
man. snid'this old image.
mo. sir. ! said.
~ tell you. he shouted. you cannot
dictate to an Englishmanr
"'Certniniy not said.
"'Bnt you tried to- he said. You
sent me this impertinent telegram. No
Englishman would have done that. II
was an American trick
~ tried to soothe him. for l wanted
that job. But he got hotter and hotter.
Finally he told me outright that be had
hired young man who once had work
ed for lord
~ have sent for you.' said he. and
you should be grateful to me in order
to teach you proper respect for the
traditions of England and for the Brit
ish flag
"'You old FOSSIL said I. II had a
British flag here Id tear 1t In two and
choke you to death with it'"-ChicagO
News
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Asphalt and an Accident.

Asphalt. with which SO many roads
are paved. was found by accident
Many years ago in Switzerland natural
rock asphalt was discovered. and for
more than century 1t was used for
the purpose Of extracting the rich
stores of bitumcn 1t contained. In
time 1t was noticed that pieces of rock
which fell from the wagons and were
crushed by the wheels formed a mar
velously fine road surface when assist
ed by the heat of the sun. A proper
road of asphalt rock was then made.
following upon the discovery. and in
1864 an experimental roadway was
laid in Paris. From that time the use
of rock asphalt for the making of
roads and pavements has increased
and extended TO many countries.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

A newly married couple bad had
little disagreement about some cakes
band complained that those his mother
used to produce were far superior. On
the next day the girl set before him a
plate OF hot cakes.
"Now yon have achieved something"
he exclaimed enthusiastically. ''These
are exactly like what mother used to
make How did you do it?"
~ will give you the recipe" replied
the wife coldly. II used margar ine In
stead Of butter. eggs year old. put
alum In the flour and added plenty Of
water to the milk."-I.ondon Tit Bits.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
HERsER1's FAT FRIEND.
He Kept the Appointment, kst DiSM't
Transact Any Dusineee.

He Kept the Appointments, but 0f6N't
Transact Any Dusinsss.
Victor Herbert. the musician. owns
six story house up In the seventies.
says the New York correspondent Of
tall and narrow. like well. Mr.. Her
bert's music room and study occupies
the entire sixth floor. and there ID no
elevator. The other day one Of MIR.
Herbert's acqunintances wished to see
him on matter Of business.
"I'll be here until sharp noon" said
Mr.. Herbert. Then must 20 to Ill
an engagement. can't wait q min
ute after the hour"
Mr. Herbert's friend is built q good
deal like an orange. He makes sood
deal of fuss about plain walking Htair
climbing is thing he never does ex-
cept under compulsion. When he
reached Herbert's home 1t was Just
twenty minutes of -. The servant
telephoned up to the music room.
Tell him to come right up" said
MFR. Herbert.
Mr. Herbert's fat friend began climb
Ing. He paused mt the top of the 6rst
flight to breathe little while. His
pause grew longer and more lmpas-
stoned mt the top Of each succeeding
flight. When he got to the sixth door
he WINS just able to dab damp hand
at Herbert and sit down In stuffed
chair and begin to remove the evil
dences of internal heat from his
streaming forehead. MIR. Herbert
pulled out his watch.
Its five minutes to 12." he said
warnIngly.
His fat friend waved his hand at him
mutely and went right on doing some
Of the best painting Of the current sea-
son. His well padded sides rose and
fell like n hot air balloon just before
the ropes are cast OF.
1.-Two minutes" said Mr.. Herbert.
"Uh. uh-ugh." said his fat friend.
feeling the veins In his neck thicken.
Twelve o'clock" said Mr.. Herbert
swapping the cover of his watch.
Sorry. must go. Goodby."
Fifteen minutes later the wrath Of
a fat man crept down six flights of
stairs. standing on each landing and
holding to the banister until his knees
stopped trembling.
Standardization I'll meet him
at the limbs club" said he to Mrs.
Herbert. street door"
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

In an article In the London Lancet on
Drunkenness and the Physiological
Eject Of Alcohol" DIR. Charles Mercer
draws tails picture Of conditions In
England before 1t became "a sober ma
ton" ''In those days the doctor was
often half seas over when he attended
his drunken patient; Judge. counsel and
attorneys pursued their ayocations In
court in a prevailing atmosphere Of hot
coppers. The prime minister went
drunk to the house of commons, where
be was attacked by the leader of the
opposition. also drunk. while order was
kept by speaker who was half seas
over. There was no excise on spirits,
and the coarser kinds Of distilled
liquors were ridiculously cheap AS
you passed along the by streets of Lon
don. and perhaps of other great cities.
you might read the legend hung out
over the drink cellars. Here you may
get drunk for penny; dead drunk and
clean straw for tuppence.'
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
COOKING A PILL"
That 10 What Opium Smokers Cal,
"hittinq the Pipe"

That 10 What Opium Smokers Cali
''hittins the Pipe"
The opium smoker In the act Of
smoking is said to be cooking pill"
Smokers of tobacco in seeing opium
pipes have been misled into the belief
that the large bowl Of the pipe is tilled
with opium when really the pill" is
simply pnsted over tiny opening in
the cover of the bowl. Heating Of the
bowl produces dense fumes, which are
drawn through the bowl and the stem
Of the pipe into the smokers mouth.
Neither does one pipe Of opium pro
duce stupor. A pill" dazes only even
an inexperienced smoker as a large
drink would effect person unused to
alcohol. The opium users who have
been pictured stretched on hunks Of
opium dens in utter stupor have been
saturated with the drug.
Reclining on n bed, the smoker places
the layout within easy reach and iights
the lamp. Peanut oil. burning slowly
and without evil doors or fumes. Is used
exclusively. The smoker Is then ready
to prepare his pill
Ahe yeuuphs VI uippVAs soHS' uee'
die shaped instrument, il put into the
opium receptacle and turned slowly In
the bluck and sticky substance until q
small quantity Of opium adheres to the
point 1t is then placed over the fame
of the lamp. and. turning the dipper,
the smoker rolls and cooks the ''pilI'
until 1t IS ready for the pipe.
The tiny speck is then thrust into the
opening OF the bowl. which. held above
the lamp. slowly begins to produce
opium fumes, which are drawn In by
the smoker through the stem Of bis
pipe. The ''pill" lasts only from thirty
to forty seconds. and to enjoy another
smoke the same preparations have to
be repeated New York Tribune.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Mixed Liquors Barred.

Rory MacSnory WINS the village black
smith and one Of the most powerful
singers in the choir of the kirk ut
AuchIeucheries. To show or his voice
to full advantage he would vary his
style from bass to alto and from alto to
treble in the same hymn. The minister
had long observed that Rory's methods
We're upsetting the general melody Of
the congregations singing. and at
length he resolved to bring the cuiprit
to book,
Hymn thirtA -four" he announced.
land a'thegithef: And. Mr.. Macsnory,
II ye're the sing tenor sing tenor. or II
ye'lc the sing bass sing bass. but we'll
hue nae mnir O. yer shnndysan."
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Batter Off.

One day during rehearsal at His
Mujesty's thenter In London. Sir Her
bert Tree told a rather Incompetent
young actor to step back little. The
actor did SO. and the rehearsal proceed
ed. After few seconds Sir Herbert
repeated his request. "A little farther
back. please"
The actor stepped back again. Sir
Herbert surveyed him critically for a
moment and continued the rehearsal.
Then for IL third time Sir Herbert ask
ed him to stand back a little.
But protested the actor. "if stand
farther back shall be OF the stage al
together"
Yes" agreed Sir Herbert. that will
be much better"
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
A Freak Of Death Valley.

Saratoga springs is one of the freaks
Of Death valley md has probably
caused more profanity than anything
else In the region. The waters are as
clear as crystal. and they bubble up
from deep. sandy basin like we'll
spring of joy. But they are strongly
impregnated with sulphur and other
minerals, are tepId In Temperature and
act instantly like an emetic upon any
one who drinks them.-Exchange.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

There's nothing slow about Jones'"
he said reflectively.
The other laughed scornfully.
81 guess you never loaned him any
money" he said.
"Oh. yes. have" replied the first
speaker. That's what made me speak
TINT way. l loaned him $40 six months
ago. and haven't been able to catch
him since"
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
voIuhility.

Mabel (studying her lesson)-Papa.
what is the definition OF "volubility?"
Mabel's Fnther-My child. volubiity is
a distinguishing feature Of your mother
when on account of urgent business af-
fairs don't happen to reach home
until after 2 o'clock in the morning.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

A PORTION OF ROAD ALONG ROUTE OF THE
JACKSON HiGHwAY-sAMR ROAD AFTER
IMPROVEMENT.
monument to Mr. Lincoln Is rather to
be commended than disapproved.
ALREADY many thousands of dollars
have been expended in monuments to
Lincoln. and the sculptors and marble
men have had their share Of 1t. Why
not give labor and the public whack
at the money?
"A great highway is always good
thing. 1t will give employment to
hundreds of men. Their feed will give
business to many dealers. The right
of why money will benefit many people
along the line. Then there will be the
engineers and superintendent and all
these incidentals. The cost will be i'm
mense. and 1t will be scattered along
the lines. altogether different from the
statue money. That is good.
For generations the great highways
will benefit the general public us only
good road can benefit. True. all the
nation cannot be directly benefited.
Neither can all the nation see monu-
ment or other pupilc WORK.
u ra'her strikes us th"t s1ea.
highway us PUBIC n'ohulhehl !"
hDout 'he Dest luea sprung recen'iS'
AFTER we get one we may get more.
"Alabama is interested In highways
right now ana sue ma! aeaicate 'henn
10 ner famous sohs us monuments
one 10 hihg. one 10 Dixon Lewis one
-
10 Campbell one 10 iowe'i' one 10
fancey' one 10 Hllllafd. one 10 Gan
toh' many 10 inc Cohiederate heroes'
many TO her other FAMOUS sons.
Last May the Daughters OF lol-
were invited by the national GOOD
roads congress to submit any resoiu-
lions they wished before that body.
They offered their resolutions and gave
their plan ana purpose OF the jackson
highway anu ihVlted other patrlotlc
socletles TO JON IN Win them IN me-
morializing any spot or INK along the
route That belonged to that period OF
history Our plan was unanimously
1ndorsed. ana we were so encouraged
that we started immediately ON our
campaign OF creating an interest al
along the line. ana we have been most
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
An Altered Case.

Ascum-Have you seen anything of
Jiggins lately? Doctor-Yes. l pre-
scribed trip to Europe for him only
this morning. Ascum-Indeed. He's
getting wealthy. Isn't he? Doctor
Well. 1 can remember when used to
prescribe for him simply n dose of So
dunn bromide for the same complaint.
Exchange.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
He Didn't Know Art.

where did you get that marble
statuette. my dear?"
why. at Martino's. Isn't 1t lovelyf
And such bargain! 1t was marked
half on Didn't You see the tag?"
Yes. but thought the tag referred
to the clothing" = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

Darling" said the fond youth. pro
ducing rins. which 10 the right hn-
gery
For goodness sake. Algy" respond
ed the maiden. Don't you know!
Nineteen years old and never been en-
gagged to girl before.'-Chicago Trib-
unc
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

WILLIE" said the teacher. sis there
any difference between the words 'suf-
ficient' and 'enoughT"
Eyes. ma'am." replied Willie. "'Suf-
ficient' Is when mamma thinks I've eat
en- enough pie. and enough Is when l
think have eaten suf11clent."-Chi-
cngo News.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
That Shut Him Up

what would you do If you had d
million dollars?"
do? Hire private secretary to an
swer fool questions. "-Exchnnge.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

Mrs. Money Bags-I hear you have
spent great deal of your time in
Italy? Mrs. Parvenu-Oh, yes. my
dear: we're quite d!-Princeton
Tiger,
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

A Turkish Joke.
A certnin sultan Of Turkey was ver5
fond Of gossip and sent for the banker
Abraham leg to learn the small talE
OF iera and STEAMBOAT. As Abraham
WIS being conducted to the sultan'f
residence by the muster of the horse
that functipnary begged him should
the sultan question him on the subject
to say that the funds were ut 80. bis
majesty having been SO informed by
his ministers.
Poor Abraham consented.
He had not been long with Abdul
Aziz when he was questioned as to the
funds and replied as he had promised.
To the horror Of the banker. the sui
ton expressed himself delighted and
handed Abraham large bundle OF
bonds to sell for him.
Abraham sold ut IL and paid Abdul
Aziz 30 The sultan had originated
that little Joke"
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
Easy.

Lucy-Ho~ can bring the count To
his knees at my feet? Neliy-Drop
dime on the floor. - New Orleans
Times Democrat.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

Brggs-Everybody should lay NJ
something for a rainy day. Griggs-
True. But too many wait until 1t be
gins to sprinkle before starting to dc
so.-Boston Transcript.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

Festive Gentleman (returning home,
Its all very well saying there's no
place like 'ome. but It's getting there's
the trouble.--I.ondon Opinion.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

In opera writing Gluck established
the tradition Of Ave acts to each work.
with ballots In the second and fourth
acts.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

There is nothing so easy but that 1t
becomes difylcult when you do 1t with
reluctance
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05

Arrogance dims the luster Of the most
brilliant intellect and dulls the edge Of
the sharpest wit.
The Meeker herald., 1913-04-05
you ALSO ARE A surcHxRY'

over an hour the three men-king,
butcher and attendant-worked In IL
lence beneath the blazing sun.
When they had finished the butcher
stared stolidly at the king for n mo.
ment. Then his face lighted up as he
thought TINT he saw the explanation
nj the kindness.
oh" he said. you also are a
butcher"
NO" replied the king regretfully: II
only look like one!'
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-07-26
WILSON REACHES THE US.
jAmb assador From Mexico Refuses &
Talk Until He Has Conferred
With President.

New York. July 25.-Henry Wilson,
Ambassador. from the United States to
Mexico, arrived today on his mission
to discuss Mexican conditions with
President Wilson and the department
.of state. ss ID
The steamer Mexico, on which he
sailed from Havana July 20, was off
Sandy Hook At the entrance to New
York harbor at 10 q. m. Mr.. Wilson
il expected to reach Washington to-
night.
Ambassadc-. Wilson said that he was
opposed to sending a commission to
Mexico to try to mediate between the
warning factions. He did not say what
remedy he had to offer for the situa-
tion. He declared that he must reserve
any opinion Of this kind until he
reached Washington and saw the presi-
dent.
Washington, D. c., July 25.-Secre-
tary Bryan on his return today from
his lecture tour, was silent on Mexican
affairs, but observed that the Iowa
crops were fine. He went almost imme-
diately to the white house. Secretary
Bryan conferred briefly with the presi-
dent and made an appointment for q
longer conference later in the day.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-07-26
WILL TAKE TALE
At FACE VALUE
Democrats Decide Not to
II Cross Examine Mulhall
for Lobby Facts.

Washington, d. c., July 25.--Martin
M. Mulhall's story of his lobbying
activities for the National Association
of Manufacturers as unfolded before
the senate lobby investigating COM
mittee. is to be allowed to stand prac-
tically without cross-questioning from
democratic members Of the committee.
Senator'S Nelson and Cummins, who
yesterday began severe questioning Of
the witness, probably will continue to
demand more detailed statements Of
his letters as they are introduced into
the record, but the democratic men,
bers. Senators Overman, Reed and
Walsh, expect to let the Mu1hafI story
stand principally on the evidence pre-
sented in the five thousand or more
letters.
M,llhall will go before the house
lobby committee early next week and
it is expected that there he will be
subjected to a rigid examination as to
the charges Contained In his mass Of
that members of the
house were his close associates In
political campaign work and in ef-
forts to head off labor legislation.
The senate committee also has in
dicated that it will not permit gen
eral cross-examination of Mulhall by.
attorneys or officers of the manu-
facturers and those officials will at
tempt to make Mulhall defend his
statements before the house commit
tee next week.