The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1913-05-15
BILKINS In WASHINGTON
The Major is Ready to Take Any
Job Which Can't Out
Run Him :.
WASHINGTON A PARADISE

iiilk1n> - Arr~~t"d for Hiding Ia An
air>hip-H~ Argues the rulic~-
man to ~tand~tilI a. to th- 49,
called Law Said to Exi~t Concern
ing Tre~pa>>ing on the White
House Grounds-The Major Has
An Eye Upon the job Of Naval
stump Puller-May Clean Out
Chesapeake iIay-Grafter> and
Grating
Continued from last week
Washington. ID. c. May y. 1913.
Correspondence OF The Caucasian
Enterprise
Well, -. G., still here a-hustllu. fer
a guide job an like most oy Us dyma-
krats. / am ready ter take whatever
gifts II site IN the way oy a Job. L4r-
vided hit cant outrun me But hit
must not climb too high. 4 GUIDE
many ov us dymakrats hcv faint
nope ov goin' up purity high some
time. But az long az this dymakrat
administrashun lasts an aWl ~ US
air eXpectin ter be put on the pen
sion list an ct about SO per month
though many ov US never smelt gun
powder durin the whole oy the civil
war, We air teetotally opposed ter
goin' upward or forward.
When | writ you last / had lust
gotten back to my boardin house
after visit TO the White House. hav-
in bin forced TO go up in an airship
which | had hired for that special
purpose, they bein' so many Office
seekers in Washington a-tryin' ter
git into the private offs ov the Presi-
dent that | could study out no way to
reach the President face TO face on
less | should hev waited at least a
year or more. Ov course | took des-
perate chances ov gittin' killed. An
| did git arrested. | had thought I'd
keep that part ov hit sorter quiet
But the policeman who pulled me sed
that under the civil servis, whatever
that iZ, I'd hev ter rapport everythin'
10 awl the people in my home county.
That IL az unconstitutional az the
search an seizure law or the law
that sez you must not hev more than
quart ov Ticker in your house at
one time. II they keep this prohibi-
ton business up much longer, an
don't think they will, man will hev
time he bites off a chaw ov guide
homemade twist terbacker, an will
hev ter make affydavit that he hez
never chewed the same chaw before
A days perseedins Ov the North Car
olina legislature iz ennuf ter give a
man the delirous tremens.
Az | sed, President Wilson wuz
powerful glad ter shake hands with
me, fer | gave him one ov these real
old-fashioned handshakes an /
squeezed hiz hand real guide. But
about gittin' arrested: The airship
hadn't more than struck the ground
when | cum down till a policeman
trotted up an told me ter consider
myself under arrest What for. :"
sez |. For tresspassin' on the
White House grounds" seq he Let
her flicker" seq /, fer | kin prove be-
yond doubt that | haint trespassed
nary trespass. The man what took
me ter in front ov the White House
door picked me up in Pennsylvania
Avenue. They amt no law real nor
imaginary erginst ridin' or walkin'
on Pennsylvania Avenue nor no 9TH
er street in Washington City. Me an
the avyatOr sailed up a thousand
feet or so an then cum down rite
at the White House door. an III
bet you a glass ov root beer, the
same thing that Thomas Jefferson,
the father ov demockracy, used ter
drink, that they ain't no law, pres
ent nor perspective. that forbids a
man from ridin' on any sort ov
vehicle on Pennsylvania avenue or
that will punish a sitizen fer standin'
or walkin' on the gravelled walks
leadin' up to any ov the doors ov
the White House. | could see that
the policeman wuz a greeny, a new
man on the force who probably used
ter belong TO the red shirts in
North or South Carolina, an from
the looks ov hiz eyes he didn't hev
less than a quart ov blockade noun
tain dew under hiz jacket at the
moment. BY this time he began TO
sober up a bit an seemed ter be
| told him | had just
had a friendly talk with President
Wilson an If he doubted hit we'd
waltz rite in an Id prove hit to
him. Why. seq |, am here lookin'
fer perlitical job. an the President
hez promised we somethin', probably
somechin' in the Navy Department,
which iz overseered by Jodeeseevus
Daniels from my State. / don't know
what hit will be yet But l may be
appinted ter blast the stumps out ov
the Caribbean Sea SO that Jodeeseevus