The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-13

the mutilation of their money on the
baby. Enough good money is chewed
up in the nurseries of Chicago each
year to pay a kings ransom Next to
the babies come the mice. Leave an old
coat hanging in closet and Mr.. Mouse
will smell out SIS bill twice as quick
as a wife. When he gets through
munching on II, 1t will look like
cross between a choice bit of Mexican
drawnwork and suburban railroad
ticket after passing through a gantlet
of fatemen. The pup Is another con-
sistent devourer of the wherewithal He
generally chews up the coat and trou-
sers. too. We get bits of them with
the scrambled bank notes from time to
time.
Most people come here expecting their
request will be refused. Half of them
come in tears, the rest with doubled
fists And it's all so simple. Even if a
bill seems hopelessly chewed, all we
have to do is send 1t to Washington
with an affidavit that the mutilation was
bona fide and complete and a brand new
bill comes back in the next mail The
affidavit is kept on file, to be sure, and
IL one end of q chewed bill is cashed,
Mr.. Crooks chance of cashing the other
end is extremely slim, while his chance
of being indicted on a serious charge is
fat and rosy. We satisfy ourselves that
the destruction took place in a natural,
accidental way, and that the destruction
of the missing portion was complete
Then we pay up.
Wear Out Money in Shoes
Here is a bill that was worn out in
side a mans shoe. The man that brought
that in was ashamed and gave me an
other story. After he got through ex-
plsining l told him not to wear the new
l. L.. IL. z.I~ TT 1T
for a moment. Here is bill that was
run over by street car The man who
carried the bill was used up and they
couldn't redeem him. Uncle Sam will
come through on the bill, though. Here
another bill that went through the laun-
dry. That is a common occurrence.
can always spot a laundered bill The
washing fluid etches around the lettered
parts of the bill, leaving the carbon pro-
tected numbers and ornamentation in
tact.
"The rest is all eaten away.
THE fall is usually a busy time for
us in this department. That is the sea-
son when the householder who has
been making bank out of his base
burner all winter suddenly forgets and
builds fire He usually remembers
in time and brings us a bunch Of
charred ends to be redeemed. AS soon
as he starts to tell his story we know
what has happened and usually hasten
to assure him that all will be we'll.
If he doesn't remember in time, though,
and brings us only the ashes we can't
do anything but sympathize. Every
time this happens of course Uncle Sam
is just that much richer
Monday Is the Busy Day
Monday is the busy day of the week.
When man comes to me Monday
morning usually look at him first
and then at the money I usually see
at least one black eye and often two.
Bandage heads are not uncommon and
the evidence of knife wounds is not
always lacking. It's the old story of
the pay envelope and the Saturday
night brawl In the nights gayety
money is often jerked back and forth
between the revelers and we see the
results in the cold gray of Monday
MORN
Mr.. Gable produced a glass block
the same size as an ordinary bank bill.
1t was lined into fifths. When a torn
portion of a bill is presented Mr.. Ca
Bile lays 1t on the block. If three fifths
of the bill is present the full value of
the bill Is restored at once. If between
three and two fifths of the bill Is there
the scrap is sent to Washington and
is redeemed at half it's face value.
Nothing, however. can be realized on
a scrap of less than two-fifths of tho
whole bill.
'If this could be done" said Mr.. Ca
Bile, "our present auto bandits would
spend all Of their time tearing bills
in two. thereby doubling their value.
That would be too much of a strain on
even Uncle Sans wallet