The Washington herald., 1913-02-19
STATESlGEN-REAL AND NEAR
~ FRED G. KELLY.

rivalry over the question of which one
can look the most solemn. Each feels
that IL he can Just surpass his colleague
there is nobody to stop him from grab.
bing OF the honors as the most serious-
looking member OF the whole Senate As
a matter Of fact. Senator Briggs OF New
Jersey has fully as solemn a face as
either Pomerene or Burton, but he 10 go-
ing out OF office shortly. and the Ohio
rivals are not fretting themselves about
him. While Burton has a big following,
vet the Pomerene faction believe that
he has the inside track for the solemnity
stakes. Just the other day Senator Nose
Clapp sat talking to Pomerene about
some weighty subject. and all of a sud-
den 1t seemed TO dawn upon him that he
had never seen SO serious a face.
''Pomerene. what makes you look So
solemn all the timer" he asked. after I
had gone to bed one night. got to won-
dering IL you feel as solemn as you look?
IL SO, may heaven help you"'
Pomerene laughed. and for the mo-
ment did not look solemn at all.
One tribute that Pomerene has received
has been his appointment to oficiate at
more Congressional funerals than any
other Senator during the last few months.
The theory has been that he would CIV.
the final, eliminating touch of solemnlty.
Ever since bayonets came back int,
style Lieut. Col John T Thompson. as
sistant ordnance chief Of the Unite.f
States Army. has been up against
perpIexing problem.
You know. for a long time bayonets
were entirely out Of vogue along with
tig sleeves for women and polka dot
socks. All the newest things shown in
guns were without the stfckers on the
end
Then the Jap-Russian war happened
and bayonets proved such a popular fea-
turr III that struggle that they We're
brought back into fashion. Meanwhile
though, United States soldiers had got
ont of practice in bayonetinS. They
could neither tab nor dodge the things
with the facility that man should pos
sess If he is going to engage in such
rough sports. So it has been necessary
some good method of holding bayone.
practice.
This is much more difficult than one
might imagine offhand. a young soldier
who has been jahbed in the ribs and
| about the jaw with good sharp bayo.
net for i few hours is likely to lose
interest in his army work II young
officer has a social engagement in the
evening. after a worthy adversary has
Tried with fair success to pull ont his
cizzard. using Il bayonet, nut-pick fash
i'm. the officer will appear morose and
taciturn. and his hostess will think him
stupid.
! Col Thompson conceived the idea ~
tying 4 boxing glove on the end Of I
wooden gun. ana letting the soldiers
learn 20 parry the thrusts of such rud..
! utensils as that. That might have been
| ali right, but the soldiers had a tendency
10 make the rekearsals rough and vin-
lent hike football used to be. II was con-
! sidered a great joke to use the boxing
glove-buffeted gun for battering ram
| aEains: an cdversarys under Jaw. and
the practice hours tended 10 oisCouracr
the more timid young soldiers with thei.
| lot.
Another plan Col. Thompson suggested
was the use of beef carcass suS-
! pended from a Deam. in place Of a hu-
man opponent. The object of the game
was to see how deep one could sink the
hdyonct into the carcass. imagining clc..-
, fully ali the while that it wasn't a dead
COW at all out n member OF the infar-
try OF some foreign powc-. This proved
| much plcasanter than some of the other
methods. but did not afford the kind 1t
practice needed, as n beef carcass naS
little or NJ skill in lodging a well-aimed
| blow
| There matters stand. Col Thomrs N
lies awake nights and wonders how to
provid" real hIyonet practice unattended
| by the horrors of war. But he gets up
In the morning no nearer solution than
when he went 10 bed.
Senator Bryan Of Florida has two
pastimes-tennis for outdoors and bill
liards for the closed season He keeps
| a billiard table right in his home. and
! plays there when he has time II j.
| considered much more dignified for a
! Senator 10 play billiards right in the
| privacy OF his own home rather than
! hang about a downtown billiard and pol
parlOr, where college boys can sit around
the walls smoking cigarettes and making
! fun of his shots. Be that as it may,
| Senator Bryan will often have a guest
at his home for dinner. and after the
meal IS over he will tug at the guest >
! sleeve mysteriously and call him off to
| another room as il about 10 borrow
money. Instead of that. he merely takes
him to the billiard room. hands him It
| cue and proceeds 10 chalk up. Bryan
1 is quiet man, and can play billiards by
the hour without saying a word.
Leander StilIwel1 Deputy Pension COM
missioner. takes a great pride in the fact
that he has always worn shabbier clothes
than his job demanded. Even when he
! used to be judge CUT IN Kansas. it was
not infreQuent fer strangers TO look at
| him and wonder why somebody didn
/ try to get him job.
! He himself tells II the time he got or
| Il train out in Kansas and offered his pass
| 10 a new conductor. The conductor said
! hilf
over with the brakeman the ACCESSIBILITY
] Il stopping the train and throwing OF
| the tramp who was riding on 4 judge
| pass.
The fact that the brakeman happened
| to know Stillwell by sight was all that
saved him.
| copyright. 1915. nv FTcd G Ksllv. All rights
srTyed.l
nnNV nAMACCn