New-York tribune., 1913-07-26
AS | WAS SAYING

climb up here on the water-vason with me-
cries that fcrvent baseball evangelist bIly ouhud!'
u want every man Of YOU to say God helping me- III
fight that dirty. sinking damnable business till its
knocked into hell How many of you viii say thai.
How many will line up with me? Stand up u you
will: that's right stand up; be men, stand up.
RoportinC Apostle Billy in Golfers" Mr. Bruce
Barton ADDS, quietly determlnedF' IN one vast
increment the whole 5000 rise to their feet 1t Is
dramatic moment
Dramatic yes. but think Billys tacucs pi'
foo dat-footed We remember an evangelist who
said Nov let all heads be bowed in silent prayer
and while every eye closed let those who feel they
arc truly converted stand up. Seven That Is rlgh''
Eight. Nine. Ten! Eleyen,"-and so it went
Eventually. hundreds rose.
We had our eyes OPEN however. and noticed that
il was not till forty had been counted that the hrst
stood up.
This Interested us strangely, though we guess
there is more joy among the angels over one Billy
Sunday than ten-acre lot OF that other chap'
silk Wages Not SO Bad says headline, but
we are unable to subdue our preference for velvet
Wild is the commoton because Harvard grad
uate confesses an ambition TO go on the stage
whereas it seems TO quite proper. on, happy
stage. Success success. success for you and he!
Long ago we recognized the classroom as absolute
~ the best and nobest school Of acting.
There was Griggs's Denying himself the lux
ury Of a textbook the young gentleman faced
daily crisis and wiggled out of it by acting When
ever he was called up recite he would look bored
as If he had known astronomy from his babyhood
and in languidly confident manner repeat the IN
formation whispered to him by Walker. Thus Grisss
became a finished Thespian, even introducing oc-
casional conceits of his own into walkers hnes'
Example:
S.rfg ,trfae
certain antics Of the heavenly bodies which astron-
oiners-dull fellows that they are-term 'oscilla-
ton" Walker whispered it. Fortunately, a heavy
truck was rumbling past at the time. so Grggs inn
proved on the original text by answering confident
ly, "Osculation"
The Easy Chair seems good deal worked up
over the magazine canvass Of greatness and the re-
sponses To the question. Which ten living Ameri-
cans are the most useful 10 their fellow men" No
wonder The winning list entirely ovcrlooks novel
lists. poets. painters, architects and ministers.
our heart goes out to the Easy Chair in its ar
fiction especially as our own list has been unjustly
spurned. II was. and SIN is.
AIDE. George. Iobson. Il Z,
Blythe. Sambo, Marshall Weep,
Butler. T. l. =. Morton, James j.,
Doocy Martin. Togo. Hashimura
Fitch, George, Wood. Eugene.
Yes 4. X. y. We have seen tho advertisement of
Opaque skirts but it was in a Boston paper.
such relief 10 know that Brother Waldo has
been studying the Paris police. They are wonder
ful If YOU jot down a burglars name and address
before ne leaves they will follow him up with sim
ply indomtsblc and mcrcilcss credulity
The small change in the hip-pocket OF Europe is
the phrase YOU hear applied the Balkan States.
but they have never relishcd it. They prefer the
older appellation. Bad boys of the European fam
iy," as then they reply. You forget that We
have since grown up" which is true aud warning
to parents.
Very amusing is Mr.. Howellss story in "Harpers'
about The Critical Bookstore" though the lament
ed Frank Norris used TO tell that the retailer Of
books was already the final literary arbter and We
believed him.
You write sham novel The publisher accepts
it, The retailer accepts it. The public accepts it.
You write a second sham novel. The publisher ac-
cepts 1t. The retailer accepts II. But the public
sWindled once. declines 10 be swndlcd again.
You write a third sham novel. The publisher ac-
ccpts it, But this time the retailer balks. What!
Another by that humbug! Three hundred OF his last
are gathering dust up attic. Thank you, no.
This rather annoys your publisher. when you
come smiling in with your fourth sham novel, he
greets you with what is known in publishing cir
cles the frozen mitt and among literary lights
as a "slam in the Stats"
Moral: You fool all the people once, all the
twice, any publisher three times, and