davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Army Officer Mustn't Umpire

1t is found in the army that it will
not do to let officers act as umpires
In ball games and orders have been
issued to forbid it. 1t seems that the
players take advantage of the great
American baseball players right to
abuse the umpire, and it is found that
1t destroys the army discipline, when
the umpire is an officer. to have pri-
Yates call him such names as mutt"
"bone-head," etc
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Timely.

Joseph Ettor, addressing the Little
rails strikers, cracked a timely joke.
Let us emulate the firmness of the
millionaire class he said. Our mil
lionaires, you know, swear off at the
beginning of each year, and infallibly
keep their pledge"
"Aw, whata do they swear off" a
striker incredulously demanded.
They swear off their personal prop
erty taxi" was the reply.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
No Money, No Marr,aos.

fortune teller told me that you
are going to marry me- said the
young man with the prominsnt
socks.
DID she also tell you that you ayQ
going to inherit very large for
tuner" inquired the girl with the mat,
ted hair
She didn't say anything about 4
fortune"
Then she is not much OF a fo..
tune-teller, and you had better not
place any reliance IN anything sha
says w Washington Herald
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
A Household Complaint.

Mrs. Kaller-Cooks are such ignor.
ant things nowadays.
Mrs. Justwed-Aren't they? They
can't do the simplest things. | asked
mine to make some sweetbreads the
other day, and she said she couldn't
McCalIs Magazine.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Spoiled Her Secret.

My first husband and | kept our
marriage a secret for nearly a year"
Didn't you find it rather difficult 2"
oh, not, not at all. We could have
gone on for much longer time if the
horrible reporters hadn't been snoop-
ing around when | applied for my di.
vorce."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
The Beginning,

Mary-Tve found out what was the
origin of the harp.
John-Yes?
Mary-It was in the Garden of Eden.
Eve ate the apple-and men have been
harping about it ever since.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Exchange of Courtesies.

I'VE must really give a dinner to
those people next door"
But they are not in our set. And
what did they ever do for us socially? q"
They entertained our cat hand
somely all summer, find"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
The Spinster's Jest.

Confidential Friend (to elderly spin.
ster)-So, my dear, you've given up ad-
vocating women's rights?
Elderly Spinster-Yes; I'm now go
ing in for one of womens lefts.
Friend - Women's lefts? What's
that?
Spinster-Widower my dear.
Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Personal PRIVILEGE

You sometimes contradict yourself
In your speeches"
Il know 1t, replied the positive can
didate And ! want you to under
stand that ] am the only man in our
party who dares attempt such =
thing"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Tobdcco.

Charlie-The doctor says have to-
bacco heart.
Madge-I knew 1t all along, dear.
You always cared more for your old
pipe than you did for me.-Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24

II you want man to deliver the
goods, employ one who doesn't talk.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24

No matter what happens, the sus-
penders man wears are never en-
tirely free from responsibilities
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24

DR.. Pierceis Pellets, small, supar-coAtAd
easy TO take as candy, regulate and inviQur5
ate stomach, liver and bowels and cure Con-
stipstion. Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
Her Limitations.

Can you cook on an emergency?
NO sir; but | can on a gas stove"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24

II takes good pugilist or a poon
minister to put his man to sleep.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24

Fully two-thirds OF what the AVERAGE
man says is OF no consequence
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
lr,portan, 70 II others
improved Some

The Wife-Dont you think mar
riage has improved you, dear?''
The Husband-Sure thing. | was
an idiot when | married you?
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
ASK FOR ALIENS FOOT

the Antisepuc powder to shake into your
shoes- Relieves Corns, Bunions, Ingrowing
Nails, swollen and Sweating feet, BIisters
and Callous spots. sold everywhere 25c
Don accept any substitute Sample FREE
Address Allen S. Oimsted, Leroy, NY. Adv
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-01-24
His Guess.

"Wots inflated currency Bin?"
Dunno! less it's money wots been
blown in Boston Transcript.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
Indian Johnson Deserves the Feathers
Aborgne Them Guessing Declaration
Giants Got Nothing"
By SAM CRANE.

had must have been one yrozt big
something"
Deserves the Feathers.
We are not acquainted with the tribal
arrangements Of the Wlnnebago indians
on their Nebraska reservation. but II
they DO not make Johnson chief, then
the paIefaces never stole their hunt
ing grounds. Johnson surely wore all
the feathers and IS entitled TO the head
dress of war eagles plnlonS, denOting
the uarriOr-the victorious one He
beat the Giants on their own stamping
grounds. carried the fight into the pale
faces own 1viEwams and swlped all
the scalps. There was an indian scalp
lock. too. amonE the VIM ebago-s fruits
of victory. for chief Myers was one Of
the fallen
for he was one of the nom OmbatanUs.
Otherwise jim would have been as bald
as an egg. too. for Johnson mad on all
Of his war paint, and tOmahawk
curve that would not listen to any
burying of the Ratchet It was a case
of burning at the stake for all the
Giants, so clean cut was WinnebagG
JOhnsOn's victory.
When it is appreciated that John
son has won all OF the victories the
Reds have to their credit. the show
ing made by the indian pitcher is all
the more sensational
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
JACK JOHNSON is
CONVICTED BY JURY
Negro PugiIfst is Found Guilty of
vomiting 1TssEn White Slave Law
Penalty is Five Years or $4,000.

Negro PuEilist is Found Guilty of
violating ATssEn White Slave Law
Fenaity is Five Years or $4,000.
chicago, Ill, May 14-Jack Johnson,
champion heavyweight prize fighter,
was round guilty of violating the Mann
law IN transporting Belle Schneider
from Plttsburg to Chicago in 1910. He
was convicted on all seven counts in
the Indictment The jury returned its
NsIolcJ after one hours consideration
me maximum penalty under the find
lng IS five years Imprisonment or S1O,-
900 fine. or both
motion Of assistant district attOr-
ney Harry Parkin that Johnson be or
oeIeQ confined in the county iail was
oNerruIed by Judge Carpenter and the
negro was released on bond of $4,000.
A mOllOn Tor a new trial was filed at
once by counsel for johnson and argu-
May 10.
-Four ballots We're taken by the jury.
the 1rSt showing four Jurors for ac-
4ulttal and eight for conviction. James
1Iuce, a grain dealer of AIarseilless
lis, was foreman of the jury.
Two counts of the Indictment were
dismissed at the request Of Judge Car
penter, who declared that no good
Souio be served by airing unnecessary
details of the relations of johnson and
the woman
Lucllle Cameron Johnson. his present
"l1e, dld not appear in the court room
~ the IFlal' his attorneys fearing the
erect OF her presence Mrs. Tiny John
son, the Negroes mother. however sat
sons were in court when the verdict
@as reached, as Judge Carpenter had
ordered that scandal fans" be barred
from the hearings.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
CAVALRY BAND MAY PLAY
At BALL CAME SATURDAY

For the first time this season, the
local baseball fans may get a chance
to attend the band concert in connec-
ton with the baseball game at Wash
ingtOn park. Efforts are being made
by the Maverick management to secure
the second cavalry band TO play pc
tween innings Saturday afternoon,
when the Mavericks will meet the 18th
cavalry team. Arrangements were
wound up for a battle between the sol
diers and the local players Tuesday
reputation of being one of the fast
est teams in Kansas, during the time
the regiment was stationed there.
The Mavericks have beaten the SOL
diers once, and that was early in the
season. before the local club was or
ganiZed.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
POLO PONIES VALUED At
100000 ARRIVE IN NEW

New York, Nay 14.-Forty-four polo
ponies, the best that British gold could
buy, were unloaeed from the steam
ship Minneapolis and sent to the sta
bles Of the Piping Rock country club.
on Lone Island. in readiness for the
international polo matches in June.
The ponies, entered under a $4,000
bond. are valued at 100000 Six Of
the ponies were here two years ago
when the Bristish team lost its sec
ond match TO the Americans.
The British army officers who viii
ride in the international match at
MeadOwbrOok are due here this week
on the Oceanic
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14

placed on the house recently vacated BY
Mrs Rose. and anOthe- cottage erected
Just east of that property, both of which
viii b a credit to that part Of town
when completed.
Mr.. Clary Is adding another room to
his DWELLING on Main street, DR.. A. E
Brown IS completing an addition of sew
era rooms to his property on Langforu
street, and preparations are being made
bT +. A Humble to erect a cottage in
that part of town in the near future.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
WOODS B0WLERS
WIN ANOTHER MATCH

Four more points were added to the
register of the Wood team Tuesday
night when it won all four points from
the Taylor trio in the three-men events
at the Cactus alleys. Wood rolled high
game and total. 507. Page of the Wood
team rolled q total Of 500 Presley was
absent and his average was counted in
the register Of the Wood team
The Grey team did not show up, and
Binford-s team rolled the games for
averages Anderson rolled high game
and total. 531-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
ENTRIES FOR
THE AUTO RACES
Billy AdOIph to Drive aOId Betsy in
All the Events That He Can
Enter, Gnsser Snys.

Several more entries for the autOmO-
bile races which are to be held in
Juarez on May % have been received
by Lew Gasser. promoter Of the track
events, but some of the entrants have
refused to give their names until the
official card is made up.
According to reports, a Cattleman
from Roswell y. NJ, has declared his
intention of bringing an Abbott-De-
trOit car down to compete, but has re-
fused to give his name because he can
not say definitely A Stutz roadster
Will be brought down from Silver CITY
by man named Tays, it is announced.
The repairs which were being put
on the track in preparation for the
races will be finished by Monday, and
tryOuts viii be held Monday afternoon.
Two more entries have been received
for the owners race. making a total of
II now entered for this particular
event.
Lew Gasser has stated that he has
secured Billy AdOlph to drive in every
event except the owners race. Adolph
viii be at the wheel Of "Old Betsy in
all of the races in which the car can
enter
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
ENGLISH PEACE DELEGATES
SEE THEIR EIRsT HALI. @ Nj

Philadelphia, Pa. May 1.-THE dele
gates from Great Britain, Canada, Aus
tralia and the municipality of Client,
who are visiting this country to COM
plete plans for the celebration next
year OF treaty Of Client, witnessed their
first baseball game here and later were
guests at a reception and banquet.
where they praised the game.
Sir Arthur Lawley was the first
speaker introduced by Charlemagne
Tower, former ambassador to Germany.
He said that ne was impressed by the
marvellous throwing powers of the
players.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14

= EW > Ethr NAY H. 4'1NeeA DL MS
NJ out Jim Thorpe and cut him
= loose with the Giants Jim is an
indian and that settles it He viii
surely make good in baseball He
has proved himself to be the champion
Of champions as an all around athlete
and he is just as capable Of making
good al the national game He has 1t
in him.
10 came to his own again here when
WinnebaEo johnson made monkeys OF
the Giants and scaiped them TO such a
badness that the nine round O's hung
up on the scOrebOaru 10 their discredi-
looked like p hairless row OF nine
bleached skulls
Shades of POcahOntas and SOXalexis
and Chief Myers. but that abOrigine
johnson surely has something. The
Giants. after going up tc the plate and
either striking out or hitting into
double killings. IS Ould walk back %
their bench and say: why, he amt
got nothing but the same player to
whom they would ETUnt Jnau graUchy
grievance would so up to bat ana al
he would have left was the same ANT
got nothing"
And the Giants were right johnson
didn't have nothiH@--only enough %
keep them from scoring. So what he
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
CHRISTY MATHEWSON
is OUT FOR RECORD

New York, May Trimming along
with Walter Johnson in his efforts
to pitch a record number of scoreIess
innings is "Christy'' AIatthewson,
whose admirers are expecting to see
him set a new record.
'.Matty" has given only two passes
this year, both in the first game he
pitched against Boston, April Il. His
record since then has BEEN
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
SCHOOL CLOSES
EARLY AT CLINT

Clint, Tex, Nav 14.-One OF the long
est and most successful terms of school
in the history of Clint came to a close
Tuesday when Prof. larbrough received
a message calling him to California.
The I'm should have ended Friday Of
this week. but through the courtesy OF
the trustees, It was allowed TO close
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
GAMBLERS DENIED ADMISSION
10 BOSTON BASEBALL PARE

Boston. Mass. May IA further
step in the campaign to rid baseball of
the gambling element among the spec
taUors was taken when admission 10
the National league grounds was re-
fused all persons whom the manage
ment claimed to recognize as gam
blers
Managers of visiting National league
teams have declared that there was
more open betting at the local dia-
Tnond than any other park in the
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
OKLAHOMA PROHIBITS
NETTING ON HORSE RACING

Oklahoma City. Okla, May 14-Bet-
ting on horse racing in Oklahoma was
doomed when governor Cruce signed a
legislative enactment prohibiting this
form of gambling. The measure, which
will go into effect 80 days after the
legislature adjOurns, provides a fine Of
from 5000 to $500 and Imprisonment OF
not less than so days for those con-
victed % conducting places where
wagers are made. One-fOurth of the
fine collected will go to the informer.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
STRONG GUARD AT FORT.

Guard mount is the favOrite recre-
alton at Fort Bliss these strenuous
days The orders are for the guard to
be maintained as rigidly as in was
time and there are three officers de-
tailed on guard each day at the post
instead of the one. which is usually
customary. army officers say.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
LYNCH sUsPENDs EvERs. Z

New FORK, May 14.-JOhnny Evers,
manager of the Chicago National
league team, has been suspended for
three days by president Lynch as a
result of Evers's removal from a game
with New York by umpire Orth.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
-FOUR YEAR OLD BREAKS RECORD
on CHLRCHILL DOWNS COTRSE

a 4 year old colt. broke a worlds rec
ord for running horses when he ran a
nile and 20 yards at Churchill Downs
In the third race in one minute and 80
seconds fiat The impOst was 1O7
pounds and Jockey Peak was in the
saddle. The former record was 1873 So,
made by Col Ashmeade. carrying 1G3
bounds at Churchill Downs, Oct Is,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
ATHLETEs VII TOTR ATsTRAIIA.

San Francisco, Cal, May 1.-THE or
ganization and dispatching of an all
American track and field team to go to
Australia next winter has been placed
IN the hands of the Pacific branch OF
the Amateur Athletic Union. according
to letter received by John Elliott.
president of the Pacific branch. from
secretary James F. Sullivan of the M
IonaI organization The first meet
IN Australia is set for Dec. %
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
MILLERs RELEASE ~BOBy EWING.

Minneapolis, Mimi. May 14-'Bob"
Ewing, formerly pitcher with the Gin
Cinnau Nationals. who recently Joined
the Minneapolis Association club, has
been Internationally released, accord
ing to announcement by president Can
tillOn, who also announced that Barney
Petty, purchased from the St Louis
Americans, had been sold to the Balti-
more club Of the International league.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14

few days early to accommodate the pro-
lessor.
j. j. Schairer has commenced laying
the foundation for the two business
blocks which he Is erecting on Federal
street. one of which viii be used as a
pool hail and the other as a barber shop.
The dwelling which Is now being COM
Dleted in the southern part of town be-
LONGING to Mr.. Schairer VIII when COM
pleted be occupied bv R. VI. Jackson
and family.
c.. NJ Kinney is having a new roof
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14

No FINE F5R CATCHER king.
Cincinnati, o. May 1.-THE National
baseball commission pronounced John
g. king in good standing without the
imposition OF a fine
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14
CATCHER Killing.

Totals -. .......498 as So III
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-05-14

/ FEW YORK. May 14-Better bring
y out Jim Thorpe and cut him
> loose with the Giants. Jim is an
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-12-03
-
OnB Jonos" ~
A Dag-Before- Henri Ktcbog WShzte,-
Christmas Story By Samuel E. Kser/ and
in Three Parts Wilbur D. Ncsbit
CoPSrisht by w c. Chapman

entwining serpent. glanced at the tea
cups and then laughed as we'll as a
man may be expected TO laugh when his
hilarity is strained through serried
row Of taos and teeth. Delaney
walked down the room to study the
effect of the decorations. and Simms-
Sinclair drew nearer to Ursula, to say
softly:
You were speaking Of wanting this
to be a happy Christmas for all, Miss
Ursula And that IL there was any
thing you could say or do you would
be only too glad. Now. there is one
poor, lonely soul that you can cheer
at this time. 1t is"
Before he could finish, Delaney
came back, and Rev. Simms-Sinclair is
set wondering whether he fractured
a commandment by concluding his re-
mark with a reference to a poverty
stricken parishicner of his who had
been released from Jail only to learn
that his job had not been held for
him during his stay in the cells.
Poor mani" Ursula sighed Eve
must take basket to his family. He
has Children. you say?"
Yes. - re of you-splendid.
All. what would Christmas be without
the
Without me mistletoe." Delaney
interrupted S.mms-Sinclair, take a
look at that wreath Jones has hung
upon the brow of the bust of Grand
pa Allen. AS an arbiter of what is ele-
CANT and decorous in this community,
doesn't it give the benign old gentle
man rather bacchanalian air?"
Such an idea" Ursula gurgled,
glancing at the bust.
While the rector was adjusting the
wreath on Grandpa Allen, Delaney
told Ursula that he had something to
say to her when she had a moment to
spare.
My goodness!" she said. Il don't
know when I'm going to have a rest
full moment until after New Years.
But this will only take a minute.
Maybe"
Shall l put the mistletoe on the
chandelier or VIII you trust to luck?"
Jones asked u6denly, from behind De-
lancey. and Delaney is quite sure he
consigned Jones to a place where
Christmas is entirely unknown.
Il didn't know we had any mistle
toe" Ursula pouted.
1t is wrong idea to tell girls about
the mistletoa.
"Mistletoe,'' Simms-Sinclair re-
marked, ponderously, 81 may say, is
relic of an ancient pagan rite, and
should be-"
Those pagars Lad their faults De-
lancey asserted: then with a feeble
smile: But they always stood up for
their rites"
"A pun" said Ursula. sarcastically
"Puns give me the creeps.'
"Puns. | may say, have been char
acterized as the lowest order of wit"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-12-03
Democratic Trust Policy.


Now that the Democrats have got
ten their tariff law enacted, they seem
bent upon making drive at the
trusts. Having no means at hand for
carrying out an antitrust policy they
forsooth have to fall back upon ex-
listing law. Thus the action of Presi-
dent Taft finds Endorsement. In sea
bringing the Sherman antitrust law
TO bear upon the forms of consolida-
ton that could not give a good ac-
count of themselves.
The Democratic attorney general,
Mr.. McReynolds. proposes to make
the dissolution of the Harvester trust
by law drastic to the last article
Claiming in his brief that the trust
arose through no economic need, but
through the Intervention of George
w. Perkins. a banker and insurance
man, at the fortunate moment. he asks
the dissolution of the trust and the
distribution of the stock of the parent
company. The good book says there
is time to laugh and a time to
weep, and II seems Lutimely when
the country is in the gasp Of gem
eral attack upon industry through the
tariff law TO enter upon an antitrust
crusade.
As a matter OF fact. the Democratic
administration was afraid to carry out
its professions OF taking the tariff of
of all trust commodities and falls back
upon the recourse OF President Taft
for trust-smashing. with the extreme
of radicalism that will not accomplish
the end better but viii surely tend to
alarm all consolidated enterprise.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-12-03
MUST GET TOGETHER
fractional Disputes in Republican
Party Hurt Country.
Present Administration Has Not. and
VIII Not Have, the Support of
the Majority Of the
Electorate.

How long can a minority party go
on winning elections by reason of the
divisions between other parties OPP
posed to its most important policies?
How many years VII majorities that
agree upon the Fundamental features
of such questions as the tariff and the
currency submit to political helpless
ness caused by their failure to act to-
gether?
In Massachusetts the Democrats
boast of the election of their candi-
didate for governor by a larger plu-
rality than any Democrat ever had
before him in that state. They are
jub!lant over the margin OF 1000, or
Whereabouts. by which they carried
the head of their ticket to victory.
Yet the three other candidates who
stood on platforms opposed to the
Democratic tariff policy polled $4,000
more votes than the winner in a four
cornered contest
In New Jersey there is much re-
joicing among Democratic politicians
because the presidents state has gone
Democratic this fall. But here, again.
the result is clearly due to the divi-
sions among the majority of the vot-
ers who stand for the protective tariff.
The combined vote of the Republicans
and the Progressives was 10000 or
more above the Democratic strength.
How long can such conditions con-
tinue? When win the majority which
Is anti-Democratic in respect to ques-
Lions of great Importance make its
real power felt at the polls and regain
Its natural control of national afftss2