davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Mo Sense of Humcr.

One NAN met another man on the
street. and the first man said to the
second man:
Hello. Jim! You're just the man !
wanted TO see have new one for
you"
"A new what?" asked the second
man of the first man suspiciously
"A new t'oniindrum."
There amt any such thing II it's
good it amt new. and If it's new it
amt
Cut it. Now listen What's the diff,
ference between poet and a plumb
err"
law. that's easy. A poet never has
any money, and a.
You're way Off Anybody knows that
difference. Now. listen; here's the an
swer. A poet pipes lay and plumb
er lays a.
"My plumber don't He"-
Jaw. what's the use Of telling good
joke to man without sense of hu-
morY'-Cleyeland Plain Dealer
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Tho Discovery of iron.

The stone age. bronze age and iron
age SO overlap one another 1t Is i'm
possible to say just when one begins
or ends Men began to use both bronze
to be used In fact. America was in
the stone age 50 late as its discovery
by Columbus 400 years ago. 1t is safe
to say that history proper and the
iron age were born together anywhere
more than likely that men gained their
first information concerning the prop
critics of iron through experiments With
the pieces Of it that had fallen from
the sky in the shape OF meteors.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Old London crIss In Peril.

This is daring age Somebody has
actually dared to criticise the vocal
efforts of the itinerant vendor. IL
was Sweet lavender; buy my sweet
lavender" that established the i'm
munity Of the street cry from cavil-
lers. There is no doubt that the
sweet lavender" business had, We
trust-a good deal Of pleasantly. 9th
er yells from the gutter got in on
1t, too. You would hear hoarse howl
and begin to condemn it, and then
stop *. after all, was 1t not an
''old London cry?" But too much
Mike" has at last pricked the bub-
BILE. A complainant at Highgate po-
lice court incontinently referred to
this city rs something between the
scream Of = hyena and the falsetto
Of z donkey" "Chairs-to-mend o" may
be the next to succumb.-London
Globa
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

WESTBOUND-fro Woodstock.
No. 173-Mixed-Except Sunday
7:01 a. m. Local for BarrisOnburg.
Arrive Harrisonburg 10:15.
No. 49-Daily-1:10 p. m. Local
for Harrisonburg. Arrive Harrison
burg 2:55 p. m. Buffet Parlor Car.
No. l3-Except Sunday-7:29 p. m.
Limited for Harrisopburg, stopping
at Edinburg. Mt. Jackson, New Mar
ket and Broadway. Arrive Harrison
burg 900 p. m. Buffet Parlor Car.
No. 2I7-Except Sunday-8:55 p. m.
Local for Harrisonburg. Arrive
HSrrisonburg 1925 p. m.
EASTBOUND-from Woodstock.
No. I4-Except Sunday-S:00 a. m.
hmited for Alexandria and Washing
ton. Arrive Washington 1855 a. M
Buffet Parlor Car.
No. 70 -Daily-4:26 p. m. Local
for Alexandria and Washington.
Arrive Washington 9:l5 p. m. Buffet
Farlor Car.
No. 2l6-Except Sunday sos q. m.
Local from Harrisonburg to Stras-
burg Arrive Strasburg 8:45 p. m.
Nos Ii and IA connects at Manas-
sa, with Nos. 112 and l IA to and from
Warrenton.
No. IA connects at Manassas with
Main Line Fast Mail Train No 43 for
principal point South
Trains PIT and Is in connection with
Main Line Train No 10 between
Orange and Manassas affords good
service from Richmond via G. & 0.
Railway and Gordonsville
E H. CoAPMAN, Vice-President and
Gener al Manager.
) Fl. HARDWICK. Passenger Traffic
Manager
4 f. CARY, General Passenger Agt.
L. S. BROWN, General Agent, WasL
ington, D. G.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Human Muscles.

Ii the muscles III the arm OF the av
erage Iuan were put together and u
nervous impulse passed into them their
contraction would lift a weight of PA
pounds from the ground Muscles have
the unique power when stimulated by
nerve impulse of contracting somewha
as rubber bands might do II they could
squeeze themselves up shorter. They
are. in fact the reverse OF rubber. for
they contract only and cannot stretch
out
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Boys Good Guess.

The story Is told of Judge McCan-
ton of being the leanest man in the
state, that he was one day walking
along street in Kansas City when h
noticed that hound dog was followin.
him.
After he had gone a block and the
dog was still trailing him, he turned
to a street gamin and asked: Boy,
what do you suppose that dog is fol-
lowing me for?"
We'll, mister" said the boy. as his
looked the judge over from head to
foot, II dunno exactly, but my idee
IS that he takes you for bore. ITO
eka Capital.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Just as Good.

A teacher was taking class OF
small children in English grammar and
was explaining the difference between
q common and an abstract noun
IAN example of Il common noun is
dog" she said. for you can see it
while you cannot see anything that is
an abstract NOUN
"Fnr Instance have any Of you seen
abundance!"
There was silence for about min
ute Then little boy got up and said
please. nIa'am. have never seen Il
bun dance. bat ! have seen cake
walk. "-I.OndOn Telegraph
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
The Letter |.

The name OF II" is in Hebrew jod or
jot. hand. and the earliest characters
representative OF the sound closely re
semble hand with but three fingers
Little by little one finger after another
dropped of until only the little finger
was left. and the letter became the
smallest in the alphabet. a jot or title,
that Is. the a. and its dot being syn
Onymous of the most Insignificant
things that could be described
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Our Names Lack Color"

At an early period. and indeed wali
toward the beginning of modern his
tory. proper names told something as
to paternity. occupation and habitation
Today they are quite coiOrless. A new
Ulysses would no longer be I.aertides
No Peter indicates that he is the SON OF
Paul. A Carpenter or u Weaver is
likely to be lily fingered stockbroker
Even the place names have prett.
much disappeared. except in the cas-.
Of nobility London Globe
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
BunionS.

by the way" said the old shoe
maker, do you know what makes II
bunion? Nor Well. 1t Is simply getting
shoes too short In short shoe the
foot cannot follow the dictates oi
growth imposed by nature. But it sim
ply cannot keep from growing So III.
tissue and bone and flesh that >honlu
go into the toes are Sltnply Sidetrackpt
into a bunch whprevt, II can get I'll.
easiest and fornS q Dunlun
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

We are now authorized to sell the
'Richard Farm" near Edinburg, Va.
containing 275 acres of land for
$l2, 900, at this price it is undoubtedly
the best bargain we have ever offered
in Real Estate Get busy, Or the
other fellow will beat you to it. APP
ply without delay to
J. N. DAVIS & COZ
Real Estate Agents,
Feb. IA. Woodstock, Va.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

Put your savings in the Savings
Department of the Shenandoah Val
ley Loan and Trust Co., Woodstock,
Va. at 3 per cent compound interest.
Amounts sof 500 and upwards re.
ceived. The only savings institu-
tion in the county for the accomuls-
ton of the small savings Of laboring
men, women, and children.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Didn't Have to Look.

DR.. Crabbe had almost succeeded in
Diminishing Mrs Gassoway when sh.
stopped in the doorway. exrlaimine
why. doctor. you didu't look to see II
my tongue was coated
II know 1t isn't" said the do.tor wea
yily You never find grass Oh race
track"-Judge
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
The Main Problem.

II suppose that there are many prob
lens which polar explorers seek to
solve" said the unscientiic man.
"Yes." replied the intrepid traveller.
n great many"
what is the most important oner
Getting back"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
A Bad Risk.

Wigg-You cant place much faith In
Bones promises. can your Wagg-l
should say not Why. that fellow
couldn't keep a promise In safe de
posit Philadelphia Record
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Practical.

Mary-George. have heard you spo-
ken of frequently AS "a successful bust
ness man George am that. Why:
Mary-Weil. considering the fact that
you have been visiting nie for three
years. I think you should maintain
your reputation and talk business.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

ST Is an old saying" said the man
With discoura gfng tendencies. that
riches nave wings
''Oh. that's all right replied Mr..
Dustin Stax. That's what enables me
to keep them coming my way in
docks. Washington Star
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

o. L. sheetz 4 Co., having bought
out the livery business OF Frank Rush
and stocked up with good horses and
up TO dsse rigs, are prepared TO give
good service and prompt attention 70
all calls. They solicit your patron
age. Come to see them on court day,
and be convinced that your horse will
be we'll cared for. 0. L. Sheets q
Co.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
In escaoe the Storms.

Naus iiI;in. storms fth're are t!iaf ii'
low aud mug fht. yru,Inu and the VA
TO t,S,.aJ,. them II IL =" uI' Inc H,dii
N inside ami gel higher tiiaI tft' ar'
II anr, ard Facet her
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
The cyn,c.

! ne CyHIC.
"Why don't you want me to inarr,
your daughter?"
"You nave no money
But / nave brains
Maybe So Hut you don't prove It
by wanting 10 get niarrled. young
nan = Washington Herald
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
A Good Motto.

It is only the thinking man who says
things worthy OF utterance. Some talk
the Ilvelong day; yet say nothing.
Hang this motto ON the wall of MEN,
DRY. Speak little; say much"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
One Sette'.

Nip BONES l. speaker of the ho'tS.
and oul, thirty iink fh;tI rtiiin2
Ny wife became -p"aktf %! the ho':S'
as soon as | married her aud she WI
only twenty two Magazine of fiii
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
SHENANDOAH HERALD

ADVERTISING Er-.@
Advertis o--ents will be inserted
at One Dolis rer square of ten
ines or less, for she first insertion
snd so eeDfsit, each sutteoren
insertion.
~Quarterly or yearly advey-
tisements by contract.
SUnless the number OF inser-
lions Is marked upon the manr-
script, advertisements WILDE pub.
lished until forbidden and charged
accordingly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Bald.

knicker-The SHOWS of seventy win
trs are on his head Bocker-Well.
they must nave been open winters
New York Sun
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

The brave man carves ont bis for
tune. ana every man In the son Of bis
own works Cervantea
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
He Was ont.

Tghtwad-We're ron out when he
came to borrow that tea9 Easymark-
No, but I was when - left. -(1nlifOr-
- HBnennL
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

II do not think people should get
married until they are thoroughly nc
Quainted with each other"
"What would you do-abolish mat
rimonyY'-Judge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

Slight not what's near through aim
ing 1t what's far.-EuripideA
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
TO Persons Who Wish to rive

Having enlarged my Livery by add
ing number OF riding and driving
horses and number of easy riding
rubber tire buggies, we are in posi-
ton to put out teams to order having
81 vehicles in all making q complete
livery equipment. We know we can
please you.
nov.6-h J. e. BEMIS, Propr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

OUOVTHVO " bSVs T1sSSs0s
Nell-Jack told me last night he had
given me his heart Belle-Well. it's
damaged goods. He told me last week
l had broken it.-Boston Transcript.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

4 life in continual need b halt death
German Pr0serh
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
An Alternative.

hrs Nrwiywrd DO YOU think my
cookiii. Is Improved. d.arie: Hubby
Well. either that OF the druggist Is sell
ing me better brand Of pepsin.-NeW
Orleans Times Dpnnarat
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21

Learn to see In another ones calam-
lty the Ills which you should avoid
Pubiius Syrus.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Gallant Claude DuvaI,

Claude Duvai. the gallant robber OF
mems purses and ladies' hearts. was
of French extraction. Duvai became
50 rich With his III gotten gains that
be was enabled to retire from the pro
feSSion ana return IT, France But
quiet life free from the excitement
of his on, .a-epr did not agree with
his advent r"us spirit He returned
again "a t.ns ard anu resumed his avo
catiun A! rnrtb ne WAS captured at
the iinIe II, The NAH IN ChandoS
street
While I-'.;l awaiting his doom
man ,~,Sl;iun visited hin
ant piF;iip his release
hui f,-,s,rabp and NJ
was N, ilh'rn n January
1870 tii> 1aph liz ST Pants church
Covent t;t speaks of him as "Old
Tyhurn @lnr, Englands ilustrious
thief ana tells us:
Here lie iiuvai Reader II male thou
Srt.
Look TO nv purse: If female. to thy
heart
Much havoc mas ne made of both
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
Inverted Trees.

A foreign railway company has
solved the plan OF getting good shade
trees in short time though they may
be small The TREES are SO arranged
that after two years Time they will
give as much shade as trees in the
ordinary way Of setting out would give
that are fifteen or twenty years old
The company gets small elm tree
preferably. digging this. roots and all
from the ground. The tree then Is set
the top part being set into the ground
and the roots are left in the air. The
tree then grows. forms roots on what
originally was the top OF tree. ana
the original roots that now take thu
place of the branches begin to leaf out
and form complete foliage very
quickly Beautiful specimens OF such
inverted trees are to be seen by the
fountains in Kensingron gardens. Lon
don.-New York Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-03-21
SOUTHERN RAILWAY.
Premier Carrier Of the South
Schedule between Washington, Alex
andria, Woodstock and Harrisonburg
In Effect December Is, 1912.

N. B.-Following schedule figure:
published only as Information ant
are not guaranteed.
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
HOW COCA COLA ReFREsHes.

The remarkable success which has
attended the sale Of Coca Cola has been
explained in many different ways. Some
have attributed II TO good advertis-
ing" others to efficient management"
others, to its delicious flavor" and still
others to the fact that 1t was the first In
the Aeld of @trade-marked" soft drinks.
In this connection. the opinion of Q
manufacturing chemist who has analyz-
ed Coca Cola and studied its history for
many years. will prove interesting. He
attributes the popularity Of the drink
In large part to its quality of refresh
ing both mind and body without pro-
ducing any subsequent depression.
He points out the fact that the chemical
Identical with that OF coffee and tea
with sugar added the only material
difference being the absence Of tannio
acid from Coca Cola. He points to the
laboratory experiments Of DR.. Holling-
worth of Columbia University and of
DR.. H. G. Wood, Jr. Of Philadelphia
which prove conclusively that the caf.
feine-containing beverages (coffee. tea,
Coca-Cola. etc. relieve mental and mus
cular fatigue by rendering the nerves
and muscles more responsive to the
will. thus diminishing the resistance
produced by fatigue. These expert
ments also demonstrate the fact that
the caffeine group of beverages differ
from the stimulants in that the use of
the latter is followed by period Of de.
preston which calls for more stimula-
tion, thus resulting In the formation Of
. habit. ADV.
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
Modified Assent.
Don't you consider my views OF
this question sound?"
"Well-yes; mostly sound"
Short Ration.
He-something's preying on my
mind.
she-1t must be pretty hungry
Yale Record.
Divided His Time.

Ministerial duties and increasing
dignity have not robbed q certain min
lister OF his cherished boyhood ao.
complishment of making fritters. He
frequently exercises this skill at break.
fast time. much to the delight Of the
younger members of the family. Edith,
the four.year-old daughter, recently
took tea with member of the congre.
cation. After the silent grace tho
little enc. looking at her unmarried
hostess, remarked with pity:
you don't have any one to pray
for you, do your"
Said one of the ladies' present smil.
ing:
Il suppose your papa prays for you
three times day"
"Oh, no, he doesn't" was the inno-
cent and earnest answer. "He fries
in the morning and prays in the after
noon!"
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
AUGUST-S0WN CLOVER
Summer Rains viii Keep Soil in
Good Condition.
Seed May Be Brushed over After H
Has Been 8owed and Too Much
Rather Than Too Little Should
6e 1roadcasted.
By RALPH TAYLoR)

By RALPH TAYLoR)
Clover land intended for summer
sowing should be plowed SO as to start
the weeds, then as soon as they begin
to grow well they should be narrowed
to death and care should be taken
that they stay dead.
Glover can be sown in August on
soil that is light and sandy as the late
summer rains will. as rule, keep the
ground in good condition. When the
ground is In first-class condition there
should be applied about 10 bushels OF
air-slacked lime and about 100 pounds
of sulphate Of potash per acre. Just
before seeding the land it should De
narrowed, or cultivated and narrowed.
several times. in order to destroy the
weeds. ~
The seed may be brushed in after 1t
is sowed, SO as to cover 1t. and too
much. rather than too little seed
should be used from eight to ten
quarts being broadcasted, according to
preference. allowance being made for
loss of seed due to unsoundness. con-
sumeu ny OlTO6, IAlluTe W 6SA AiAAnoso
by not being covered.
The seeding should not be done
later than September, as limit. as 1t
has been demonstrated that later
seeding may result in failure. but not
necessarily SO.
The grass will make good growth
before winter, and If manure is plenti-
full 1t will be of much benefit to apply
1t as winter mulch. Early In the
spring light application Of nitrate
of soda about SO pounds per acre and
100 pounds OF sulphate of potash will
give the grass good start.
While fertilizers and manure are
the main agencies for securing a good
crop, yet much depends upon the con-
dition of the soil when the grass is
seeded, for upon the preparation will
depend to certain extent the ability
of the plants to secure moisture the
succeeding year, as according to the
preparation of the soil will the root
growth progress and the retentive
capacity of the soil itself be in.
creased. while the more care given the
soil at the beginning the better the
crop after 1t starva OF In growth.
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18

bore hole In the ends trihe above
the center. and pass pole or piece
of pipe through. The ends of the pipe
should extend about one foot beyond
the coop. The coop is one lath long.
or four feet. 1t is now ready to hang
by dropping the ends into two forked
posts. 1t is impossible for hen to
sit on the Slated bottom. II she tries
1t. the rocking and the tipping of the
coop make her give 1t up In disgust.
The only steady thing about the
coop is the pole passing through the
center. and the most persistent broody
hen is usually glad to roost on 1t the
first night. When a hen has perched
for two nights. she may be considered
cured. The coop will accommodate
four or FIVE hens without crowding,
and insures quick results.
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
FEEDING slLAeE IN SUMMER
Cows May Be Maintained More Cheap
ly Than Can Through Hot Sea-
son on Bluegrass Pasture.

Dean Mumford of the Missouri Col
lege of Agriculture makes the state
ment that cows can be maintained
more cheaply on silage than they can
be carried through the summer on
bluegrass pasture where the land
costs about 800 per acre and is suit
able for growing corn.
He says that there is very little
pasture land where COW and calf
can be pastured on less than one and
one-half acres, but it is entirely pos
sible to get 12h to 20 tons of silage
from one acre. A COW and her calf
can be carried through the summer
on two pounds of clover hay and 35
pounds Of silage per day as well or
better than on bluegrass pasture. Thus
he declares that you can carry a COW
and her calf six months on less than
half acre of silage.
The good dairy COW has a broad
forehead, indicating intelligence and
kindly disposition. She has a short
thin neck, not at all beefy, in which
veins are plainly manifest. She is
narrow through the front shoulders
and thick chested, indicating good
lung capacity.
She has large. well-rounded
stomach, showing capacity for stor-
age of food and water, from which
milk is to be manufactured. She has
broad hips and good width through
the fanks, giving plenty Of room for
lacteal organs. There is also a gentle
incline from her shoulders to her
rump. The udder is large and soft,
hanging down well between her hind
legs and extending forward and back.
ward in well-balanced proportion.
Her legs are short and her hair is a
glossy color
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
FOUND A WAY
To 30 Clear Of Coffee Troubies.

Husband and myself both had tho
coffee habit, and finally his stomach
and kidneys got in such bad condi.
tion that he was compelled to give up
a good position that he had held for
years. He was too sick to work. Hio
skin was yellow, and there didn't
seem to be an organ in his body that
was not affected.
i told him felt sure hio sickness
was due to coffee and after some dis.
cussion he decided to give it up.
1T was a struggle, because Of the
powerful habit. One day we heard
about Postum and concluded to try 1t
and then 1t was easy to leave on
coffee.
His fearful headaches grew less
frequent, his complexion began to
clear. kidneys grew better until at laot
ne was new man altogether, as re-
suit OF leaving of coffee and taking up
Postum. Then began to drink it too.
although was never as bad off as
my husband, l was always very ner-
vous and never at any time very
strong, only weighing 95 lbs. before |
began to use Postum. Now weigh
ll5 lbs. and can do as much work ao
anyone my size, l think"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Write for booklet "Tha
Road to Wellville."
Postum comes in two forms.
Regular Postum (must be boiled.)
instant Postum doesn't require boil.
Ing, but is prepared Instantly by stir
ring level teaspoonful in an ordinary
cup OF hot water, which makes 1t right
for most persons.
A big cup requires more and some
people who like strong things put in
heaping spoonful and temper 1t with q
large supply Of cream.
experiment until you know the
amount that pleases your palate and
nave 1t served that way In the future.
There's Reason" for Postum.
The Holly chieftain., 1913-07-18
SAVE THE SHATTERED GRAIN
Rack That VIII Prove Of Convenience
10 Shown In Ilustration-How
to Put Together.

have rack for hauling grain or
hay. The corners won't loosen and
come of. Corner braces A are held
in place by rods B just above the
braces. These are frightened with taps
at either end and make the frame as
solid as rock. The top pieces of the
end frames are l by 6's, the cross
pieces by As. The end pieces, un-
derneath, are by SIS tapered at each
end, and the two timbers on which the