Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-29
At the End Of the Rainbow.
ROCKY ROAD.
BY Walt Mason.
ROCKY ROAD.
BY Whit Mason.

Mr. PARKWAY stopped a few minutes
today on his way downtown, said Mrs.
Jamesworthy, land he says we really
ought to have steam heat in the house
He has made a study of such things, and
he says a hot air furnace is an abomlna-
ton People who breathe hot, dry AR
are liable to many diseases. and L have
no doubt that's why you've had 50 many
bad colds this winter
The next time Isaac PARKWAY stops
here 10 distribute his remarks, Mrs.
Jamesworthy. / ask. as personal favor,
that you'll break a broom handle over
his head" said Jamesworthy. About u
week ago he bought an interest in ~
plumbing and steam heating establish
ment and his first act is TO come TO my
humDIe abode trying TO convince you that
our salvation depends upon spending
about GOO bucks with him. 1t is well for
him that | wasn't here when he came
upon his dastardly GRAND, or his fraE-
ments would now be plastered all over
the landscape.
Here j find you. Mrs. JamesworthH.
"A woman with gray in her hair, the
mother of a family. and Yet such an easy
mark that you will pay attention TO the
chin harmonies of a man who wants Ia
deprive us OF our balance in the building
and loan association. Now that he has
put his idea in your head you'll be abuS-
ing our trusty old furnace in several Ian
guages. but you'll accomplish nothing 10y
it. Not one counterfeit kroner viii your
toilWorn husband dig up To make any
changes in our heating plant
several years ago we had lar@e
open-faced heating stove in the SlttinS
room. 1t was one OF the most sefNi''-
able stoves | ever saw, aud was pei
fectlY satisfied with it. although had
to carry in the coal and carry out tina
ashes ] loved that stove. 1t WAS bount
by a thousand ties to my heart. AS thu
poet SAYS But old Rsimphead, the hard-
ware man. got into tie habit OF swing
ing on our front gate, and talking TO YOU
about the absurdity OF heating a houso
with a stove He said 1t was barbarouS.
and reminded him strongly Of the GUS
toms Of the pliocene idiots, in the DAYS
when pterodyctyls roasted on man
woodshed
Jamesworthy. and began nagging me day
and night until my reason tottered on
its throne. and ] drew my pitiful saw
ings from the bank and handed them ovc-
to Pumphead for a furnace. Language
fails me when i try to depict my suffer
ings the first winter had at that furnace
In the basement. | understand d stove,
and could set it and wind ii satisfactorily.
but the furnace had all sorts Of mYsteri-
Gus hampers and levers and push but
tons. and before | got wise to them all
I scorched my fingers and nearly set fire
to the house several times.
AT last | mastered the intrlcacles OF
the furnace. and came to love IL for it's
many sterling qualities, aud ! ceased 10
mourn for the departed stove. Now THAI
the furnace and | are bosom friends soul
mates, as il were-yOu want To have IL
ta'-en away and a steam plant subst!-
tuted, You tell me that the dry air -
injurious hut | am satisfied with il. IL
YOU don't like the dry air YOU can sit in
the kitchen with your head over the tea
kettle, or you can order boiled air from
the grocer, in Theoretically sealed pack
ages. No can say that | ever de-
prved my family Of the comforts of life.
and l want YOU to have tho kind Of air
that suits YOU best. but that furnace is
going TO stay where il is until the robins
nest again. Mrs. JamesW orthy.
IF We put in a steam plant il would
take two years to master all tho
fXings and probably the house would h,
blown up before | succeeded. Steam is Il
dangerous element. II WAS of steam that
the poet said: 4 on may harness me down
with iron bands, but be sure OF your curb
and rein Mrs. Jamesworthy. 7 don't
want TO fuss with curbs and reins. and
have my whiskerS scalded off when ID
turn the wrong valve. Then in about u
year YOU would want the house heated
with radium or electricity, and the whole
would have to he torn out
so just take my advice and hit Nr.
PARKWAY with brica the next time ha
pushes his head into our front yard.