New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-13
AS | WAS SAYING

Many cheerful noises proceed from Smith the JOY
full upshot being Now. you know well enough
Maria, that if I had the running Of this fat things
would hump along smooth, like they do at the Office
Some system, Some efficiency! ! hire the right
help and use slick and that's all there Is to it,
Hurrah for Smith Already he has developed into
quite volumnous literature. Stories, articles even
editorials re-echo his cheerful noises. lie Is every
where. But that does not tickle Maria, who weeps
in a quandary darkly suspecting some falacy in
Smith, yet unable to spot it.
This is where we come in Listen, Maria Buck
up and be a sport Remind Smith that all the girls
who could he of service to you are now In Smiths
office
The use Of coored citizens as fuel has declined sur
prisingy within the last year. but do not regret
IT, To our taste. the bonfres down South are every
BIT as jolly without colored citizen in the woodpile
MIR. Galsworhy has been bcwaHng the reluctance
OF Ango-Saxons to produce great literature. and
tracing il to their gcntemanlincss. sad case, Tor
no gentleman over produced great literature.
gentleman lacks the first requisite e, the willing
ness TO sop over.
"Humor." says Mr.. A. c. Ecnson. and Life is re-
pcating it, us kind Of divine and browning grace
in character. because II means an artistic sense OF
proportion true and vital tolerance, power Of in
finite forgiveness" This explains why humor has
the seat Of honor at the tail end Of tho magazine
while tho treatise on Peruvian water bugs puts up
with place next to frontispiecc.
By special arrangement Mr. oliver Hcrford will
now sing his beautiful composition:
Man loves the dog because he'll stay
Ard listen 10 his Jokes all day.
The dog loves because be- sheare
ITS coat and clips his tail and ears.
Thanks, So kind Of YOU. Mr.. HEREFORD and 50
timely as We about 10 discuss the doggy per-
son who is asking the papers why the $. + C. a. has
never pitched into the dog lovers. Time 1t did, for
they love not we'll hut too wisely. They love little
Of the dog. somewhere along in the middle. The rest
they hew away persuaded that thus they promote
peace. Yet many entire dogs may be seen at large.
and there is still a lamcntable dcarth Of dog nights
The best is yet TO come. They have bounced upon
railroads and told the little rascals how much to
charge and how much not TO- They arc pokng into
factories and shops, and talking ~ the minimum
wage. They are even pursuing the bold tobacco
barons, and threatening their lives with a tax on
undue ambition Lovely all this, especially as It
brings us ever nearer the question: What is rea-
sonable profit?
Personally we feel that this topic will be Of wide
interest when IT comes up and predict ructons.
but I'm no haste 90 NEEDLE. so vague is our
idea of a reasonable profit. We have however great
faith in Congress. and believe that, a reason
able profit is defined in a conservative, statesman
like conciatory spirit and with every not to
jogge the business world. It will be prohibited by
law.
perfectly good admiral has come out against the
wag who wrote, Liars wanted TO get up advertise
ments and pictures for the army and navy recruiting
Offices" No wonder! The admiral realizes that the
III,
determined when the papers printed photographs of
Mr Paxton's painting The Young Sailor" Shabby
title. though. Should have been "Oh, You Mer
maids"
There is a new profession. that of the unsettler.
You have noticed Of course. that whenever you 30
fiat hunting, and after visiting all the wrong apart
ments come last to the right one with everything
lust so-wallpaper. clothes presses fixtures, arrange
ment, location, and the rent-some scoundrel
has seen IT first and secured refusal "Oh. thatl
be all right, sure lie isn't thinking OF IL
seriously" But you know how IT ends.
No need Of its ending Let him move in. Then
summon unsetter. who will employ the necessary
graphophones scandals scarlet fever notices. babies
book agents. parrots, dancing lessons and wind in
struments, and have the scoundrel out within week
The apartment is then yours.
Great profession, II Is our idea however, that one
should think twice before entering it, Though cele-
ness the japanese unsetters in California have been
unable to retain the affection of the unsettled.
r. l.. II.