Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-11-05

co,srAaS EtAIlNA S11TNgRW I
what I've caught is trouble. wish
you weren't In Heaven, which feels
kind of cold and distant when a fell
lows lonesome. Nobody loves me,
and the mosquitoes has mistook me
for a greenhorn.
! can't smoke in the lady's home,
and when it's forty below zero out
side. a pipe clogs with ice from your
breath. Chewing is worse. because
she cried. She don't need my guns,
/ saddles. and me, or any sort of litter
whar shs beds down, and my table
manners belongs under the table.
Men, she says. feeds sitting down. so
they won't be mistook for animals.
which stand up.
jest moved back into the old cabin
with Mick,-hes wagging himself by
the tail between my legs to say as
this writing habit is vice. If I'd
only bottle OF whisky now I'd be
good. but as it's eighty miles to re
freshments, he's got TO put up with
vice.
/ Mrs. Trevor's husband was an opera
singer which mislaid his vocal cords.
so settled here to be on his romantic
! lonesome, and spite his wife. he
went loco. and mistook her for a
bear; she broke her ankle stamped
/ ing; and took an interest, he shoot
ing me up considerable until he met
with an accident Then his widow
married me, and I'm plumb disheart-
ened.
| II.
was cooking slapjacks. which
gives quick satisfaction for the time
! invested, when Iron Dale rolled in on
| his way home. Says my high-grade
slapjacks is such stuff as dreams are
made Of With him quoting Scripture
like that, | got suspicious about his
coming around by this ranch, instead
OF hitting straight for Skyline. On
! that he owns up to something dam
curious and disturbing to my fur.
Thar's a stranger at Hundred Mile
House. claiming he's come from Lon
don, England. to find my wife.
On the stage sleigh from Ashcroft
! this person got froze. which mostly
| happens to a tenderfoot. who'd rather
| freeze like a man than run behind
| like a dog SO of course he comes In
handy fer poor Doc McGee. He's got
sort Of puppy piano along. which
| grieves me to think our settlers must
be getting out of date with such lat
est improvements, and other settle
ments liable to throw dirt In our
face. Seems it's called harpsecord,
and this person plays II night and
day so that the ranch hands Is quit
| ting. and Cap Taylor charges him
double money for board wonder
what he wants with my wife, anyhow.
The missus wants me to take the
sleigh and collect him. dunno but
| seems to my dim intellecks that would
be meeting trouble halfway, besides
robbing the doctor and Capt. Taylor
who done me no harm.
III.
This morning, after rigging life.
line to the stable because OF this
continuing blizzard. went to the
lady's home. She showed me letter
Dale brought, In eytalian. which says
the swine proposes to kiss her feet,
and wallow in divine song. etc. His
name Is Salvador, so he's dago. She.
being white, can't have any truck
with such, so that's all right Seems
the puppy piano is for her from her
beloved maestro. another swine from
the same litter, She's singing now,
and 1t goes through my bones. Her
voice is deep az a mans, strong as
F'T ser Rapids, and own that puppy
piano appeals to my best instinks. AS
for me. my names mud, and she
treads IL.
w.
The wind went chasing after the
sdn, leaving peace and clear stars,
so this morning it must be sixty be-
low zero by the way the logs are
splitting. At noon fearful George
transpires. dumping the puppy piano,
/ and the swine with his nose in a
| muff. fearful had capsized the sleigh
over stumps to make his passenger
run instead of arriving here like froz-
en- meat. but appears 1t hadn't done
| the harpsecord no good. He said he'd
| roll his tail before any more music
broke out. so didn't stay dinner.
Kate's pleased aH to pieces. Seems
this gent In the paper collar has wrote
an opera, and thSe's a party goes by
the name of Iusaress Ario, song and
dance artist. putSing 1t on the stage at
London. EnglRnG. The leading woman
sings base. and that's why Kate is
wanted. To the only woman on earth
who sings base enough. they sends
this dingus and the organ-grinder. She
says it's a business proposition with
money In il. and wants me to come
~y~~~~-~~~~~-~~~~~~~~~~~~-
/ cnlatinn. would have amused Won