davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

~ pastchoard you can make star,
imagination Is the thing
on. maiden, tho hand on Boh's cigar
is just as good AS q diamond ring
Chicago Tribune.
rmaglnaiion's great. all right.
We're sure Of that Wherever we
rove;
But say when pretty girls in sight
Would YOU as lief just hug the
-Yonkers Statesman.
There's nothing like this self-hypno-
sis;--
Would that she would only sauooi
with delight DER paper roses
Just az 81 the things were real
o
IA Coming.
Beachy now
Takes a long swoop
Through the air
And loops the loop;
It's friends Win
Not know the chump
Sometime when
He bumps tho bump
Houston Post.
O.
BANDIT LOPEZ would certainly
be valuable acquisition TO Mr.. Car
ronza
O.
MINIsTERs MAY end the teams
tets strike in indianapolis. when
they get through we hope they'll come
over and pray awhile with the Trini-
dad bunch
WITH A CELLAR FUN OF French
champagne, Huorta is more likely TO
be
Illuminated
Than
Eliminated
d
SOME CLASS 90 that one, WHAT
q
tE SHOULD worry DER Juaro1
slaughter with coal bin fun OF fizzy-
luywatcr
mr. WOULD Dee horrible Joke, after
an that aunpoWdcr ANA sulphur 90
discover that Lopez crawlod out "a
hole somewhere last week and beat
IL into Montana.
.
A VENTURESOME man may have
ill., most fun. bot prudent one Will
live longest This applies. says nn
exchange, 90 explorers, ch8uticurs
acrouauts. stccpe climbers hunters.
truppcrs. politicians. tariff experts
and advanced thinkers ON the cur
rcncy problem.
FINGERBOWI.S have been ban-
ishod from dining cars in Idaho. "a
was found that as many us half a
dozen cowmeu and punchcrs some
times drank out of the same bowl
hefor. 70 WIGS wished and the prac-
lice was undoubtedly unsuuittry.
o
THE ENACUATION of Culacan,
Juarez Chihuahua ana Victoria. was
merely part of the tactical plan OF
thc federul- Mr Hucrta says RE-
mindF us OF BiN Nyc that time hc got
boz eight ana uy au adroig move
meut placed his RIGHT csc against h,s
cuvmys lcit fist.
D
0Np THE BLOOD. Lefty Louie and
tho rest uf the bunch want new
rIol We'll they may got u-you
can never teu what the aw vill Do
these days
.
/ OUTSIDE of that conditions iu
colorado may uc mid to be fuirly
tranquil.
o
ARTHUR pATTEN Of Topeka. 90
ytur odd. has spent 30 years m lail
Arthur evidently HkoH a.
O.
SYLVIA PANkiltBSr SAYS the
mutnuts won make tho ministers
shake 600 their shoes We were uu-
der thc impression that they were al-
ready shaking nnt only Boo their
hoes but In their sos pants. vests.
shirts. collars nccktics coats and wu-
dorwoar.
p
ANOTHER Albuquerque blizzard
with nearly au eighth OF uu inch OF
euoW.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

Xmas bazaar ana homo.cooklpg
sale by Conversational ladies. Hotel
Combs cate. fTiduy and saturday.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04
Incorporate Your business

Come md see us and talk over
the advantages uf Incorporating
your business. Companies inc0r-
poratod under the nws OF any
state In tho union vs. Incorporate
Ing you avoid many of tho pitfalls
OF partnership. pu you need more
capiial7 This IL enc way To get g.
" yon have a good proposition wo
viii undertake. 90 raise money Tor
You. Can or address for fun par
ticulars.
JOHN BARON BURG REALTY
COMPANY.
goa West Gold Avenue.
Albuquerque New Mex.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

Andrews Grlmmer Falkonborg,
Henderson. Trottl what an array,
We know they can sling as well as act.
and thcy are all in tho Pnaforc east
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04
TanC In he Solar
JABS PIs ','n ..'''''


Cfcntivc Art CD
You surely can't
our friends uii say
invent that dope
From day 90 day;
Il 81 a cinch
Thla stuff we've read
Can't cmanntc from
Cnc Eone-hcad,
0h we'll. -all right Nt
Have q your WAYS
We simply want 10
Rise and say.
II is cinch,
Extracting data
From q mcdulia
Ohionnuta.
But greater. who
With no head-stuffin
Can 40 such hiuffiu'
out of nuffln1
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

ANOTHER Albuquerque blizzard
with nearly au eighth OF an inch OF
snow.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

spEAKER MCKINLEY of Illinois
is listener now. tie got married
-E. ~. j.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-12-04

SYLVIA PANkUCUsT SAYS the
mIlUnuF wnl make tho ministers
shake Boo their shoes We we're un-
der iho impression that they were ui-
ready shaking nnt only Boo their
shoes but in their soN pants. Ncsts
shirts. collars. uccktics coats ana uu-
dcrWcar
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-28

different. Pull off local whopper-something that make
EN- sit and take notice. Business good. Boys send
regards. Yours. SAM.
Just like that! So he could hear my gentle impreca
tions, could he? Would prefer money elephant
Anyhow, would stick the long hike! That having
been settled, get busy and think out entire
scheme of publicity something calculated to
the wd-eyed interest of lot of fannel-shirted
punchers. Suffering Goldfish! Sam Harkins had his
with him when he penned that nissve!
To prevent the froth from squirting from my mouth
ripped open the other letter If you get this tale
right, III have to insert it. 1t
HELLO, Tom OLD Boy! How every little thngo How's
Sam and the warthog and the bex and the gau and the
and the Big Top and the Sdeshow and the dust and
everything Sis and have been spending month the
governors ranch down here in New Mexico. Going back
week Feel great. Want to give your regards
Broadway? Ever thine, JACK.
Take it from me on the word of a poor but honest
publicity promoter that letter positively cruel.
With the aid of some cool drinks electric FAM and
hour to think it could have swallowed the disap
pontment that dripped from Harns tender little note;
but right top Of his Knockout wallop to get of
those Goodby- -gve-your-r Broad
way greetings from my best friend too much.
with myself to the bar and it was there that
the big thought struck Whether it was the high
ball. the modifying face of the drink mixer or the brain
kick produced by my anger, m best if | know
At any rate the scheme arrived and began take form
in the following telegram:
JOHN HENRY Mccain. Jr
Las Vegas N. NJ.
Meet me this town tomorrow prepare to die Have
great plan for colossal froc VIII make you national hero
Regards to sister. Answer. Tom
All these documentary exhibits may foolish; but
they the purpose of showing just how this
worked out, and at the time they the trouble
of writing lot of explanatory stuff All have to do is
paste two letters and wire piece of paper and the
copositor and you do the Great idea, isn't it
And easy,
MCCAIN arrived next morning when was negotiat-
AA ing for breakfast. Whether it was curiosity or
my death threat that made him catch the first train
don't know and doesn't matter. The point is he ar
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-28

about to head south for month in the district where
COW ponies and saddles still have it automobiles and
trolley and where 1880 soft felt hat catalogue
IS more up to date than the latest number of any
Ffth-ave. hat emporium Sam Harkins, sole proprie
tor of this Cataclysmc Collection of Geological Aero
bate, and Gymnastic Wonders and Transcontinenta1
Congress of Conglomerate Curiosities had been
paper man until the beginning of the season. Now
to him you would have thought he started with Van
Anburgh.
Two weeks out his advance agent fell i'll with typhoid
and at Sans request | had jumped ahead to do the
publicity work while the regular worried through
his disease convalesced and got strong enough
to the job Four months of this, and was of
awful hankering for the White Lights of Broadway.
This desire got strong that it kept awake nights
and finally fell to hoping the show would burn up,
blow down, or be swallowed in flood if the sick agent
didn't put in appearance pretty soon In Trinidad,
Colorado hot afternoon, when days ahead
of the outfit, was handed letter by the genternanly
hotel clerk.
Hot, amt it, said he.
isn't it," said |.
To be absolutely exact should say that he handed
me two letters. To read them had to lay down The
Denver Rocky Mountain News, in which | had just
a mildly interesting story. The more
important communication was special delivery from
Harllins, and read:
DEAR ToM.-Finney isn't coming back. He's had a
relapse Won't be able work before Xmas he gets
wel-which is doubtful. know this hits you. | hear
your gentle mprecations But Tom old sport stick
for the love OF all that's decent; least until dig up
somebody possessed e enough and experience
handle the advance end! That's good fellow! knew
you would! Name your salary take your pick of
the elephants if you prefer pachyderns to pelf.
Now that off chest, here's another thing We've got
dope out publicity. The show isn't known
this longhorn country and the things you did back East
won't help much Think something startling. big. and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-28

rived and without waiting to my telegram.
Maybe wasn't glad to see him. Have you trapsei
around the country for months, most of the time alone
and seldom within haing distance Of real palf
If you have you understand my desire to get back
to my town, New York, and appreciate my joy
at grabbing the husky tanned paw of Jack Mccain.
You see he and Sam Harkins and had been about as
intimate any three vagabonds were. And vaga
bonds are particularly intimate. Not that we were
vagabonds the usual of the word just happy
goucly and careless In college and later reporters
had sort of dovetailed and cottoned up to
other, until-wel you know what | mean. We were
particularly good friends. Mccain was regular
despite his fathers millions and season ticket to all
the Four Hundreds select affairs. He would have
been the good-natured chap if he had had work
for living; which, by the way, he did in awhile
Just to show that he could. And he had some sister,
Dorothy McCann-U m-m-m. Let me change the sub
ject or III start raving.
Suppose you've dropped in here expecting me to
furnish the fodder, | said by way Of greeting. "Sit
down and get the outside of this Rocky Ford Have
pail of coffee? Muffinso Loads of em Fresh eggs2
Irish bacon? Country butter2 Go to them, my dear
man, and don't spare my purse. In return for this
breakfast you are going to do favor and for that
| shall make you "a
"Pass the sugar" said Mccain hungrily. this
isn't melon! Must be squash Certainly III do you
favor. III allow you to ride back New York with
me- You've had enough ozone, seen enough grass
swallowed enough dust for one summer So have l.
It's us back to New York Tom, the village OF life gaiet
and highland light built by Mr.. Edison.
Jack said |, dropping two Jumps of sugar into
fresh cup of coffee Il like you, and want you get
but you re to succeed you must learn TO read
the future better. Look me, and the original
seventh of seventh son. the genuine, simon-pure
name-blown in the glass card reader crystal gazer
fortune teller, and diviner of thoughts. You arent
going to New York. You haven't had enough ozone
eaten enough dust You going stay here the
Wild and Woolly. You're going to continue to frater
nize with sand heas, akal and alfalfa. By continuing
the association you going become great national
figure. That's where | come in I'm the guy. I'm
going to make Mccain spell hero When you next
appear Broadway the will stop, the crowds will
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-28

he Mighty Harkins Show, one-ringed,
fourteen-car circus, was five months out
from New York and was approaching the
COW country. The show had been doing
phenomenally good business through the
East, the Middle West, and the Northern
States, which latter run mostly to apples,
lumber, and dry farming Now we were
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
Marriage Customs in
~crr~xrn |Many Countries
,-(TURKEY
Among the
Albdnians.
By NJ a olson C.. Peters

the most rigid rank and md pedsnss Children are often
infants But such the kept from the couple
until the a position
The
the towns where they for employment vendetta with the relatives
fussI
this
required with bride
families Turks
time from few a
% % hh Is asu % ns h on conn mn a @ , m the bridegroom m % sends @ the
S be- n ns' must be OF " " S'''" and whose parents must both
They respect and as the dun is presented all
Good luck: The boys all
hy Of the bride
for the following Monday At each house he receives of few
The The sse family n send .ns n,
adn the bride who must silently submi
eyebrows dyed black
On SUNDAY eve evening aksa in all her she
the father and brothers enter Failing " their the bride
chorus of soos and cries from the shows their
guests each Of whom brings of
requires stand motion and s
hands crossed her breast
men rs ~ a. m ' % @ sue @ n ~ @ nFr. % wnle the guests seated around Stare
Al meal es on % s ana the next two days she cats alone
This a leaving home
the
bride
led
drapees held
procession guests horse
led
bows
herb
svhen she wa her horse.
II
depart n a Loudly voice
she and she
I and % will protect
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
HAIL TO A PLUCKY SPORTSMAN!

1T had been generally accepted that no more COM
petitions would be held under conditions contained
in the deed of gift of the Americas Cup. Only a
few weeks ago when Sir Thomas Upton was in this
country it was virtually declared that he would not
undertake TO challenge again, and nobody had hopes
that if ne would not try for the yachting honors, any
body else would.
Yet Sir Thomas has sent the challenge, saying
that his prejudice against the deed of gift rules had
been waived; that he would be willing to under
the old conditions, and that there was no doubt of
the acceptance of the challenge by the New York
Yacht Club Good for Sir Thomas! And the very
best of luck him in everything he undertakes ex-
cept the lifting of the Cup.
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
THE CLARKE-BACON INCIDENT.

There is much speculation why the Senate Demo-
cratic caucus should have overturned precedent by
refusing to elect Senator Augustus o. Bacon presi-
dent pro tempore. and choosing Senator James P.
Clarke in mis- stead The discussion seems pointess,
and the real explanation very easy. 1t involves no
reflection whatever on Senator Bacon.
The Senate was following its own precedent in
refusing. the position of president pro tempore to
Mr.. Bacon. Not the ancient precedent that con-
ceded everything to seniority; not the precedent that
concentrated the whole power of Senate control in
the Aldrich-Hale band; not the repudiaed precedent
that in the House, made Cannonsm first the menace
and then the downfall of Republican control.
The Senate made new precedent for itself when
it defeated Thomas S. Martin for chairman of its
caucus, and chose John Worth Kern for that post.
This precedent being established older ones in con-
lict with it were out of commission.
When it came to choosing president pro tem-
pore, the Senate simply followed the new precedent.
1t required that no Senator should nave simply be-
cause of seniority two frst-cass places to the ex-
clusion of some younger Senator who could get
Senator Bacon was slated for chairman of the great
Committee Foreign Relations. To give him the
ether place in addition, would be to perpetuae, in
part a system that had been formally rejected when
Martin was denied the caucus cnairmanship.
The Democratic caucus simply stood by its guns
in the matter of Bacon and Clarke. Having laid
down a new rule, made new precedent, it stood
Pat by the new order of things, il must do to be
consistent. 1t did entirely the right thing
Senator Clarke is no more progressive than Sen
ator Bacon. His selection was not a progressive
triumph Most of the Senators who voted for Ba-
con- indeed, were progressives. But two-thirds of
the caucus supported Clarke, and in doing so they
established firmly the rule that every Senator is 60
ing to be- hereafter, as nearly possible, one ninety
sixth of the Senate. That is right. 1t is what the
Senators ought to be, what their States intend them
to be- what the Constitution contemplated 1t is not
possible, in this analysis to see any reflection Mr.
Bacon and it is possible to evidence that new
and better day of real democracy in the Senate has
dawned
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
POPULAR ELECTION OF SENATORS IN
SIGHT.

Popular election of United States Senators is
being ratified by one legislature after another witt,
such rush that the country scarcely realizes it.
Thirty States have ratified it, and in five others it
has been adopted by one branch of the legislature
If these five fall into line, certain at this
time, only one more will be needed to complete the
necessary three-fourths of the whole number of
States The Tennessee legislature will meet this
month and that of Florida in April.
There is the best reason, therefore, for the belief
tat the two Senators from Maryland will be chosen
under the terms of the amendment. Even if ratifca-
ton should be delayed until the meeting of the
numerous legislatures which will assemble next Ian
uary it would come so soon after things got started
at Annapolis that the old scheme would have to be
abandoned.
If the amendment takes effect in the next few
months, it will remain for Governor Goldsboroug Oh
to call an extra session of the legislature to provide
the machinery electing Senators by popular vote,
OR to delay action until January.
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
JUSTICE TO DIR. ELLIOTT.

One of the last acts of the old Administration was
10 renstate Charles G. Elliott as chief of the Bureau
of Drainage Investigations, Department of Agricul-
ture.
Dr. Elliott had been removed under charges that,
officially investigated by House committee, proved
utterly groundess. 1t only simple justice that he
should be renstated with clean record and that was
done tardily is true; but still it leaves Dr. Elliott
with the testimonial that his record was clear and
straight Messrs. Morehouse and Singleton who
had also been removed in the same connection, had
already been renstated result of their complete
exoneration
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
THE REAL REASON IN sYLvEsTERs CASE

1t has been made as plain a pkestaff that
Major Richard Sylvester cannot be retained as head
of the police organization of Washington.
This utterly regardless of the technical con-
cusions of the investigation into his responsibility
for the national disgrace that attended the woman
suffrage parade last Monday.
Major Sylvester has lost the confidence of this
community. He has lost the confidence of Congress.
He is no longer the man to administer the public
safety organization of the city.
Let Sylvester remain as chief of police, and there
will be utter lack of confidence in either his capacity
or his good intentions hereafter. This is an affair
that concerns every man, woman and child in Wash
ington 1t concerns the safety of all property, the
protection of tine inestimable of the Gov
eminent. 1t is huge fact that cannot be circum-
navigated.
Moreover, the retention of Sylvester would be
injustice to every man on the force down to the
lowest private for it would break down confidence at
every point and no man in the department would be
able to feel the assurance of his position, Of the
sympathy and cooperation of law-abidng citizens,
that peace officer must feel if he is to do his duty
with tine highest efficiency.
Sylvester must 60.
The Washington times., 1913-03-08

States must spend many hours every day listening to
the that bosses can give them why this man
has to be taken care of and why that man need not
be taken care Of Mr. Wilson, if he were willing to
listen to all the Office seekers, could spend every
second of his time from the beginning to the end
of his ter without hearing one-tenth of all that the
Office seekers would like to say to him and all tnat
they would feel it was his public duty to hear them
speak to him.
The country will survive if he never listens to the
story of single one of them. And relieved of their
opportunities, he will have chance to be on his
real job, which is big job needing him on all the
time.
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
THE ILLINOIS SENATORIAL TANGLE.

Governor Dunno of Illinois, after conversation
with President Wilson, expressed confidence that the
Illinois deadlock over election of two SENATOR would
end in the election of Lawrence Y Sherman, Re-
publican and James Hamilton Lewis Democrat
Sherman and Lewis were their respective party
nominees, at time when there was but one vacancy
in sight Later, Lorimer was removed and second
vacancy created but it was too late for primary as
to that place.
Ii would seem, therefore, that the selection Of
Lewis and Sherman would be the proper solution.
Ii would be one more emphatic declaration in favor
of standing by tine results of primaries and for that
alone it would be we'll worth while.
The Washington times., 1913-03-08
Dreaded the Results.

PIFFIN and Miffin were friends.
They were strolling along one
sunny Sunday afternoon in the
rear of their respective wives,
when Spiffin. who was always some
thing Of a worrier. broke the contented
silence.
Look here, old man." said he. Il
know you say the most awfully nice
things about me TO nv face, and I've
no reason to believe you do anythins
else behind my back. But il bucks
chap up to be criticised by his friends
every now and then. you know"
You want me to criticise you" asked
Nliffin. mildly shifting the clear and
frosty air
Il do" answered Spiffin, throwing out
his chest and striking 1t impressively.
1T would do me all the good in the
world
Look here. Spiffin. you're six feet
two. I'm five feet four. You can't Sc
riously mean You want my private opin-
ion of you. 1t can't be done. old chap
can't be done.