The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-11-04
Seven Mistakes
OF Flatri,nony
The First Deadly Mistake Is to
Marry on an insufficient
Income

mony is:
: TO MARRY ON AN INSULT
GENT INCOME.
Matrimony has its commercial as
we'll as its sentimental side, and while
mere money alone will not make a
happy marriage neither will love
alone. 1t takes food to supply the
heart throbs. and at the bottom of
every successful marriage there must
be strong financial plank capable OF
supporting comfortable home.
OF course, the lovers view of life
Is all cfrcling wings and golden glory,
and poetry. and romance. He feels.
while he is still counting girl, that
nothing else matters but the bliss of
calling her his own He believes that
he can disdain such material things
as food, and clothes. and houses, and
It is no trick at all to persuade girl.
who has no worldly experience. into
accepting this point of view.
So in trance Of joy. literally doped
with sentiment, they marry, with q
sort of sublime faith that those who
put their trust in Cupid will be mi
raculously fed. as the prophet was
by the ravens.
But Cupid isn't that sort of a bird.
He is no miracle worker. He sup
plies no loaves, nor lobster New
burgh. nor even plain beefsteak ana
onions. Nor does he prevent clothes
from wearing out, nor soften the rent
collectors heart SO that he furnishes
an apartment with modern convent
ences free to the enamored pair.
On the contrary. life goes on for
people who are in love just as it does
for those who are out Of love. Moth
Ing stops the processes of nature. We
get hungry, we get cold. we crave the
same amusements, we have the same
tastes after marriage as we did be-
fore, and the plain. hideous fact stares
us in the face that when we have not
the money to supply these necessities
we are not happy. no matter how
much affection we have for some other
individual.
NOT ROMANTIC
It isn't romantic--it even fills you
with deep disg,lst for the weakness
of human nature, but the truth re-
mains that we have to be physically
comfortable and have a mind at peace
before we can even love No man who
Is hungry cares twopence about the
looks OF the prettiest woman on earth.
No woman who is shivering with cold
and is ragged and shabby cares
clipped Canadian dime whether q man
loves her or not. No married couple
who are harassed night and day by
bill collectors, and who tremble every
time there is a sound at the door for
fear the landlord is coming to throw
them out into the street. are filled
with any high and lovely thoughts
about each other.
In such an hour the animal tri-
umphs in us. Our only concern il to
be fed and housed and warmed. And
under such circumstances it Is prac-
tically inevitable that husband and
wife should turn upon each other with
bitter accusations and reproaches.
This is not to say that wealth and
luxury are necessary to make mar
rage a success Far from it. With
out doubt the happiest and most unit
ed couples in the world are the poor
young man and woman who marry
and work UP side by side in the
world. But there is wide difference
between something and nothing, be-
tween marrying on a settled income,
however small. and marrying without
any way to make living at all.
THE FIRST RULE
The very first principle. the very
bedrock Of domestic happiness is that
a couple shall have enough money
between them to support them in de-
cent comfort. One might almost go
further and say that it is necessary
for them to have enough money to
approximately live in the way in
which they have been accustomed to
live. Here and there are notable ex-
ceptions to this rule. and we find
men and women who have the
strength of character and greatness
OF heart to be willing to give up the
luxuries they have been used to for
the sake of beloved one, but these
cases are rare.
1t takes more grace than the most
Of US possess to be able to make
daily sacrifice OF our tastes and hab-
It's without becoming churlish and
regarding ourselves as martyrs.
Certainly, the man who has been ac-
customed to dressing well and having
plenty of money to spend on TRIES:
who has lived in well appointed
bachelor apartment and INDUCED him
self in theaters and cabs and good
cigars, and who finds after his mar
rage that his salary will only permit
OF cheap two by four fiat; who has
TO wear shabby clothes. after the
babies begin coming; who can only
know OF the theaters by hearsay, and
smoke cheap tobacco, Is seldom q shin
ing illustration Of the happiness Of
the married state.
Nor does the woman who has lived
in luxurious home and had beau
tiful clothes and travelled and reigned
In society find matrimony a glad.
sweet song when she gets to be an
overworked household drudge. faded
and worn with the nursing OF babies
and the cooking Of dinners and the
dreary round of petty horsehotd