davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
NOVEL ELEcTRIc> RESTAURANT

From the Electric News Service.
In place of the ordinary walters a
restaurant in wellington, New Zealand,
has adopted electricity. At each table
in the dining room there is a wooden
frame containing the menu, and op-
posite the name of each dish there is
la push button. When guest has
made his choice he touches the appro-
pirate push button, which causes the
number of the table and the numbers
lof the chosen dishes to appear in the
kitchen upon an annunciator- The
ringing of bell also calls the atten-
tion of the cook to this order. An au-
tomato printer at the same time makes
a record of the order and statement
lof the charge, which is received by
1.-THE diner when The dish is ready for
serving.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
Satisfactory Car situation

I'm December there was complaint IF
a car shortage on our lines in this
part of the country, but there is no
cause for complaint now" said General
Agent Henry Fonde of the Southern
railway, whose headquarters are NOM
inally at Knoxville and Birmingham.
but whose duties keep him ION the
move practically all the time. .'Espe-
cially in the Birmingham district was
the car shortage seriously in evidence
a few weeks ago. We are now supply
ing cars in greatest plenty to all ship
pers on our lines and will be able to
continue to do so from now on.
Business conditions in the south are
excellent Traffic Is moving in large
volume and the coal operators here
were never in better shape than they
are now. Alabama coal is in great de-
mand and the consumers are paying
good prices"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
Music and Rngtime

Il read an interesting article in The
Age Herald a few days ago, repro
duced from Golfers Weekly, about Ma
han Franko. the we'll known New York
musician" said an old member of the
musical set.
ut seems that Mr.. Franko gave up
the position of orchestra leader in the
tea room of Fifth avenue MOTEL be-
cause one of the stockholders insisted
on his playing more rag. Mr.. Franlko
is not only one of the ablest and best
known violinists and cencertmeisters in
this country but he is an authorita-
tive and successful conductor He has
long held high positions and his pro-
grammes while sometimes light have
been always up TO respectable artistic
standards. Now and then he has given
little trashy music in hotel tea rooms
no doubt but r know him personally
and know him to be too high spirited
general proposition,
In this connection | would like to
say that it Is a mistake to think that
any considerable percentage of people
who visit the best cafes are clamorinc
for rag and nothing but rag The
frivolous or inane men and women. who
go to cheap shows in New York, Chi
cago and other cities and revel in medi-
ocre music are not of the class who
listen to music in elegant hotels.
"The stocl>holder in New Yrok who
was the cause of Franko resigning
was. perhaps, crank or a coarse
grained person without any sort of re-
finement. Dinner music is not sun
posed to be nor should 1t be, severe
ly classic To hear the highest order
of music real music lovers go to symph-
ony concerts, chamber concerts, virtu-
oso recitals and grand opera But. vet.
there is no excuse for hotel and cafe
| orchestras playing much ragtime; a lit
tie should go a long way. And it is a
noteworthy fact that here in Birming-
| ham this season one hears very little
| trashy music in the cafes--the Hill
man. the Florence and the Empire
where good music is provided daily. If
there were such demand for rag
as some people would make it appear
Birmingham musicians would have to
play more of it than they do. Tschai-
kowsky. Glazounow and other master
composers are fayorites everywhere
and their music is played great deal
in Birmingham cafes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
COSMETICS.

Little Tommy, at the MOVIES saw a
tribe of Indians painting their faces and
asked his mother the significance of thisi
Indians his mother answered, al
ways paint their faces before going on the
warpath-before scalping and tomahawk-
ing and numbering"
The next evening, after dinner, as tho
mother entertained in the parlor her
daughters young man, Tommy rushed
downstairs wide-eyed with fright
"Come on, mother" he cried. Lets
get out of this quick Sister is going on.
the warpath!'-San Francisco Chronicle
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
FINANCIAL POTS AND PANS

glass windows of my superb private
offices in State street and turned on
me savagely: IF such thing is in the
constitution, why haven't my great
lights in financial legaldom spoken
about it?"
Perhaps" L remarked with a smile,
they didn't have to write regular in y
stalments and so don't need anything
to write about. 1 buried it and then
discovered it, as a squirrel does with
a nut"
"Why," said he, this is monstrous!
Wen get you yet
l refer. of course, to the clause in
the constitution about the old Loaisi-
ana pottery. The trainers little thought
that l would be born to dig it up as
humanity's benefactor and force it be-
fore the courts of the world.
Speaking of pottery, let me fill out
this instalment with word more IL
the poor losers who persist in pester-'
Ing the night and day editor with their
complaints about having followed my
advice and then gone home in barrel
as result. The other afternoon 1
Brodie. He stopped his dogcart and
said: Jump in, have a sure tip for
you direct from the feed box Take it
from me and buy brass bonds at the
market" Now 1 know more about the
use and abuse of brass than Steve
could If he lived thousand years. A
famous metallurgist once told me that
he thought that I must have been
rocked in a brass cradle and never
have had the brass thoroughly boiled
out of my system afterward. Yet what
did l do? I leaped from the dogcart
to Telephone No. in my private or
fees and ordered my string of floor
manipulators to buy 1900 brass bonds
for $780, 900. The next day poor Steve's
affairs went nine feet up the spout
and my little s3SO,000 "fierp took the
high dive to $4,000. 1 was on an ex-
press elevator with stops below the
ground floor only. Steve was counted
out and / was counted "in." So
the Bronx can see the truth of the old
saying that every gambler has his
dump" They played my tips and I
played Steve's. Here was, the strong
est brass pot known to literature
humping into cracked earthen nor
just as in Esops fable This littls
jackpot in brass bonds put a dent In
me to the extent of exactly s277,00o.
These figures can be easily verified
by subtracting the amounts given
above.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
lTNHE night and day editor has just
telephoned me that he knows
i how extremely busy I am with
| my versatile talents. lie says he be-
llieves In my life's work, manifold
though it is and that he is confident
that my fountain pen will hold out to
!. the last instalment even if it has to
drip with occasional repetitions. Bet
ter have little tautology than not go
to press, that is my maxim for Great
tive writing. And then there is only
one sure way in which to impress the
American people, and that is to hit the
same nail on the head 1910 consecu-
tive times. Roosevelt believes that
PAS times are safer yet. What he
learned on the stump l have learned
| in the sanctums of literature and
finance. See how easy it is to saw off
a whole paragraph, once the ink be-
gins to fowl
For the past 90 years the press has
tried to argue with me- All the big
and little editors, country and metro
politan, have banded their logic against
BILE 1 have claimed that if the stock
exchange burned down tonight the
high cost of living would go up in
the smoke. Lima beans would sell in
the morning at cents quart, poached
eggs would retail at Is cents, the same
as this instalment; in a word, the
lsystem could blackjack the real facts
| no longer. To prove this to the Amer
lean people is the work of my life,
or rather, it is the second section of
my life work. When l wrote Fuzzy
Wuzzy Finance" / felt like one riding
on the pilot of an engine, but now that
| / am writing the second section I see
that I was then riding in the caboose.
The press says: you can't find a solu-
ton for this black situation" And I
reply: My dear sirs, how little you
know mel I can find things in the
constitution that our 1ackadaisical fore
fathers didn't know they had put
therer'
One of the foremost bankers in this
or any other country, one who is at
the present time executive head for
most of the high cost living corpora
tions, as soon as he had heard what
had discovered in the constitution said
How did you guess it? Why, If this
lis true, big business will go by the
SON. Then he looked out the etched
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
Quail Not Plentiful This season

THE quail shooting has been rather
poor in many places where last season
the birds were plentiful" said a sports
man.
Many hunters do not know that quail
are migrating under. certain conditions.
For instance. If birds raise covey in
locality where there is poor feeding
ground they will move 10 better fields one
or two miles away. Then, too, it seems
probable that by nature some of them
would migrate, for in no other way can
the lack of increase proportionately to
the number in coyey at nesting time
be accounted for in a given locality.
The Massachusetts game preserve pro-
pagating grounds have a record of one
partridge hen having laid 105 eggs in one
season I'm captivity. These eggs are
hatched out in incubators.
"Old rooster partridges assist in hatch
ing eggs in the wild state, and they also
lead the first brood while the mother hen
is sitting on her second clutch"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

one could get only a dim impresson of
the gerat man. But with a. few hooks
OF remlniscences-"The Corsican,e sTalks
With Napoleon at st. Helena Constant.
Napoleons innermost thoughts are re-
vealed TO any one who cares to know
them
Even books that one rarely looks ar
nave their uses. They are ready to serve
at any moment, and their mere presence
Is comfort. Boswelrs johnson, Hart,.
American History, Told by contemnor-
aries Bradford's History of Plymo,tb
Plantation" Newcomb's Astronomy.
Chamberlain Geology" Dewey ana
Tufts Ethics shaws plays, Ibsen
Dickens, Thacheray. Ross's "cbanring
Chinese, Richard Harding Davis. Arnold
Bennett. II. G. Wells. Stevenson-to men
ton few at random-what delight thew
are' Within the covers all sorts of enter.
tainment lies.
Never bored or boresome modest I'm
assuming, genial-nooks are great fellows
t31have about house.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
You shall mark
All-Nipht Cars in This City

There are now no street cars IN this
city between the hours of l and
o'clock a. M, except on the Boyles line,
and taxicabs only are available when
\ belated and weary man wants to
no home in those hours. George ii.
Harris of the street car company pro-
poses to test the use of owl cars on
seven lines to see if they can be made
to pay operating expenses. No profits
are expected from an all-night service,
and the hope is that they will pay
operating expenses. Mr.. Harris esti-
mates the loss to the street car<com-
pany of the proposed all-night SER
vice at $500 month.
1t is hoped the loss will not be so
great. Possibly there may be loss
in the first three months of the ex-
pertinent, but after that time the SER
vice should be self-sustaining. it is so
In many other cities.
Tla ,;ne- ~an,ed in the pronosal
1la g fest i1a tfpn sn6
uggbaaitfs aboase keep ne pfa.
ssad nsa eaFs in miaa 3 sase shea
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
fe.sr l1..llars ~ sarl.

TT il rot isiaeiys says aperin-
t>aaeu Of Eaas Atien wlpinghAn "a
question 4s so Aan A mdaay n
state provides annually for public
schools, but how much per child"
Very well; let us apply the Will
bingham test. Mississippi and Alabama
each expend 81 per child-what do
each get in retusn?
In Mississippi the average child gets
IS days Of schooling; in Alabama the
average child gets but AZ. In Missis-
sippi the school year is longer than
Alabama's, and the average attend
ance is larger. The schools are kept
open in Mississippi 1923 days in
year, as against lit days in Alabama,
and the attendance is 74.6 per cent as
against an attendance of 1876 per cent
in Alabama. The actual days of at
tendance in Mississippi was 34,077,-
O23; in Alabama the actual days of at
1ondance numbered but 81 ,273,831.
Mississippi had 4s1 ,6s9 pupils in
school. while Alabama had 446.630.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
"DONTs. FOR GASOLINE USERS.

From Leslies S.
Now that summer is coming and the
dangerous gasoline stoves with it, Stub
bers gives a few "Dont's" which he
says should be followed by every user
of such a stove.
Don't spill gasoline.
Don't fill the tank of the stove full.
Don't use can of more than two
gallons capacity.
Don't use a stove that leaks.
Don't use small gasoline stove un-
less 1t is properly fastened down.
Don't employ a leaky funnel in FILL
ing.
Don't fill gasoline stove in a closed
room. Have plenty of ventilation to
carry away the vapor and out of the
room.
Stubbers says that IL the housewife
follows this advice there will be no
more gasoline stcce accidents. Leak
ing gasoline stoves cause 80 per cent
OF the accidents, he says.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
RETURN. SWEET DAY

BY Frank l.. Stanton.
Return, sweet day. from out the vanished
years.
Where now no flowers on ruined altars
burn:
1 give you all my tenderness and tears
Return, sweet day! Return,
Return to me. l do not ask so much:
But. in the Night, a-weary and alone.
need the coming of your hand-a touch.
A certain tender one.
If one would say all that each sad heart
knows,
How would hearts be unburdened! On
this way.
With not gar6cn which gives me = rose.
Return. vanished dayl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

never lets an opportunity pass TO near
great musical artists.
..The Flonzaleys are famous the worla
over, but we are now to have them IN
Birmingham for the first time Ihey
we're secured by few music lovers, who
guaranteed the cost. Mr.. Chalifoux Is
looking after details.
"The concert committee that arranseu
the series of Sunday musicales' eslap-
lished two years ago by Mrs. Aldrich, has
had already two high class attractions
the Pasmore trio and Zimbalist' the Vlo-
lin virtuoso. The next attraction of that
series will be Janpolski, the great Russian
baritone, who comes in February, ana
the fourth and last will be in Maren.
when Tina Lerner, a bewitching young
Russian celebrity, who ranks high as d
piano virtuoso, will be heard. Mr.. Hoi-
conbe is manager of that series"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
MELoDRAMA IN REAL LIFE

From the New York Herald
If it be true that the stage shouid
truthfully reflect current conditions, then
we have no cause to complain Of its pres
ent degradation" or "deWoralization
ON account of the number of plays deaiins
with criminal life so popular just now.
The account of the thieves resort and
"fence'' in West Forty-second street
sounds more like the description of a
new drama than a page from real lie.
The modern playwright may search no
further for material for his next thrill
err He will find in the operations OF
this eroup of expert crooks all the ele-
ments needed in a melodrama. There is
the fence" kept by the near relative OF
a, policeman, with its show windows filled
with cheap trumpery and the shelves
crowded with boxes and bundles of plate.
ieuels and costly furs. There Is also the
bellboy answering to the call of front
by day, hurrying from room to room
will. pitchers of ice water and trays of
more welcome refreshments and noting
with keen eyes the presence of watches,
rings and valuables. And we have the
same bellboy returning at the close of the
dey TO his luxurious fiat with its fine
pictures, expensive furniture and Persian
rugs.
Best of all for theatric purposes is the
voting and interesting Carr family, ideal
hero and heroine of the criminal stage,
and their 1S-months-old baby, joy of their
happy little home. In his midnight strolls
through the homes of wealth and culture
which he frequents Mr.. Carr is always on
the lookout for some bracelet, sunburst
or cake basket that will do for top for
the idolized little one. AS for Mrs. Carr,
she is just the young woman to be
selected as the queen of the counter
feiters' den"
The manner in which these thieves were
run to earth suggests an interesting
query. 1t appears that the police permit
ted them to continue their burglaries for
"a days in order that they might fully es-
tablish their connection with the receiver
OF stolen gods in Forty-second street.
Supposing that during that time one OF
them had killed householder or watch
man, on whom would the responsibility
fer the murder have rested?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

THE VOICE OF THE MOVIES"
ITS all a man can do to keep up with
the march of progress these days.
Whats the trouble now?s
Il don't fully understand the working
of the dietagraph yet and now I'm face
to face, SO to speak, with the kneto-
phone"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press
Getting married teaches a girl to ap-
preciate what monument of patience
her mother was.
A mans family needs so much of his
money he would like to spend 1t all on
himself.
You can stop a man airing his political
ignorance by killing him.
Experience is very high priced school
giving the pupils learning of very low
value zfFss.
It's awful hard, for a very {4H IA to
learn to climb a fence nature1
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The New York Sun estimates Mr.. Edi-
son's royalties on the kinetophone at $780,
600 year. Contracts have been signed
by B. T.. Keith and the Orpheum circuit
covering 100 theatres. The kinetophone is
simply talking picture machine. Jacob
Wells was present when the contract was
signed. and he will presumably share in
1t. The new machines will be turned out
rapidly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
nri.E petaII Trnde

1--WE are going to have good business
year In Birmingham said Sol Caheeh'
This district was never more prosper
Gus than it is today. One of the best evi-
dences of unusual thrift hereabouts is
that the retail merchants are so quickly
over the usual dullness that follows the
holidays.
"The merchants are doing fine pusl-
ness in mid-January and think it VIII
keen right I'D to this clip through the
spring"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The railway and canal commission has
decided that Great Britain is to pay the
telephone company $62 500 tor all its
rights and properties. The telephone COM
rany wanted s1o5.OOo,oOo. Great Britain has
dom, and now the telephones have been
taken over.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
OTHER PERILS.

I've read of battles with the wolves
That roam in Russias snowy cline;
But here we're lodging auto cars
And motorcycles all the time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
BEFITTING.

MY soul goes clad in gorgeous things"
MARBLES a lady poet in the January At
lantic. That's the only way the average
feminine soul could go, with any degree
of satisfaction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Under the Jloyd-George insurance act
paid $7.20 on the birth of a child provided
either of the parents is insured. A mil
lion babies will earn this sum every year
in the United Kingdom. The mother
is also entitled to sick benefits. The act
is in full operation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
= HARDLY,

An interesting magazine article treats
of the wear and tear of coinage. How
ever, the wear and tear of coinage is
hardly comparable to the wear AMI tear
of acquiring the coin after it leaves the
mint.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
AFRAID OF MAURICE.

why does Pidgin look so woe-begone?"
His best girl told him she adored Maui
rice Maeterlincix and Pidgin thinks he has
a dangerous rival in town"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
Regarding sunday Concert.

'The Flonzaley quartet, which will be
heard at the Jefferson theatre next Sun
management of the Sunday series COM
mittee." said a prominent citizen who
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Meridian selected a postmaster yester-
day in primary election-said to be the
first one ever held. Such elections will
yet become fashionable, or at any rate
proular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
WORST FOODS.

A Kansas City man names what he con-
siders the ten worst things to eat, as fol-
lows:
Liver and onions.
Calves brains.
Tripe.
Carrots and turnips.
E,els.
Caviar and linburger sandwich.
Snails
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Yale professor says there is great
difficulty in distinguishing between the
psychology of idiocy and genius. Both
as a rule/write poetry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The walters and cooks in New York
have struck again and those who visit
that city may yet have to carry their
lunches with them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
ENVOY

The play was over, and the Fool
In sadness did repine,
While he who masked as Tragedy
Kept tryst with Columbine.
-.TIfdua
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The first claims for damages to goods
sent by parcel post have been filed, and
the claim department is getting right
down to hard work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
DISAnvANTAGE

A man may have a costly pen,
A most prodigious pot of ink,
And though he scribbles now and then,
He finds it very hard to think.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The Julian Hawthorne gold brick trial
is held up by the illness of federal
ju6ge. The case will not be resumed much
before February.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
HARD TO SAY.

Women can sit around for hours and
talk about clothes Men san sit around
for hours and talk about women. Which
is the superior sex?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
IGNORED.

IT'S bad to be mlsquoted,
In bower and in hall;
He's sadder still, we've noted,
Whom no one quotes at all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16
A WEAK STOMACH.

How would you like to have a chat
with a cannibal king?"
Il wouldn't mind. just so 1t didn't take
place while the cannibal king was at din
ner'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Secretary Stimson has reserved alto
gether too much yellow water in the Ohio
river.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The birth of squadruplets 10 days ago
makes Mrs. William g. Clark of No. 173l
Hamilton avenue, Cleveland, the mother
of q children. She is only 5 years old
TIE bankruptcies. all boys, died because
o. an injury to the mother. This was the
second set of quadruplets the woman
has borne, and she is also the mother of
three sets of triplets and five sets OF
twins. Six of her p children are alive.
The oldest, Roland is 10 years old, and
the youngest. Hubbard, is two. Mrs.
Clarlk's mother had IS children, including
twins and triplets. Her grandmother had
% children, quadruplets and trplets
among them. Mrs. Clark does her own
housework
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Mock duck.
Pigs feet.
Welsh rabbit.
According to our way of thinking. the
gentleman is hot far wrong in his sum-
mary, but we can't for the life of us i'm
agine how he ever happened to overlook
spinach.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

The weather is more suggestive q
spring onions than a waffle diet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

A Peruvian aviator proposes to fly over
the Alps. He should have tried the Andes
first.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Gen. Rosalie Jones' army will be led
by veterans, and no weather that the bu-
reau can develope will terrify it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Utah and Vermont stuck together to the
last vote, the two standpat states of the
country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Every parcel post man must wear a
uniform. Beware of parcel post robbers,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

France would not be happy If she was
not engaged in opening some feature of
the Dreyfus case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

1t is not too late to present the lame
of Joe T. Robinson of Arkansas for a
cabinet seat. He is winner. -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

Spring bonnets begin to appear in mill
liners windows. and the first robin may
be close at hand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-16

New York is now content. 1t has its
Chance at last