The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1913-05-01

t pany.
Without itching one couldn't learn
the joy of scratching and there is
consolation in several other forms of
{ adversely.
Speaking af advertising, our recol-
lection is that Samson took too solid
columns to demonstrate his strength
and brought down the house.
Naturally, The Index doesn't feel
free to ask much Of the Democratic
tariff makers, but we strongly urgs
that fried chicken be put on the free
list
1t isn't bad idea to bear the Irish
mans words in mind occasionally.
1.-THE wisest words | ever shpake," he
said, "was when | didn't shpake at
ALL"
81 have note at the bank coming
due next month";" said Old Bill Mis-
givens. 81 think | shall explain that
the lock on my strong box has been
jammed and | can't open it."
The fact that President Wilson
pitched the first ball at the opening
league game in Washington this sea-
son, constitutes one of the strongest |
incentives the small boys have to as
pire to the presidency.
Jimmy" said the teacher, "can
you name the forty immortals 2"
There amt that many. When you
mention Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner and
a few in the Twilight league teams
you have got to stop.
A law was made in Plymouth Col
ony about 1910 inhicting penalty of
twenty pounds on any person who
should refuse to accept the office of
governor. Apparently there is no
necessity for restoring that penalty
There was birthday party at an /
Emmett mans house few days ago i
and the society editor wanted to know O
FOR whom it was given. ct was the f
18th anniversary of my wife's 25th n
birthday" replied the man of the h
Puse, n
Man never loved as he does now. He fl
n wifi b1,a,tp b;g ra,a f,o,~1 !
nd fixed it upon the earth As his n
fterest in other worlds has diminish n
p, his interest in this has increased II
s the angels have departed, the a
hldren have come in.--John Bur- T
Pws. :,
tc
The pictures of baseball gods are di
gain in the newspapers The big 81
hmes are on and half of the people 81
the United States are asking the a.
fher half who will pitch today There ii
las never cure comparable to the u,
hll game. Sorrow might squeeze in %
t the gate, but it would vanish with a
ne first call of "play ball" h,
= -
A preacher was lecturing his con- ha
regation on the sin of lying. He TO
lought but few people were free ar
rom the bad habit He would put it to
} the test, so he requested every no
ne who felt that he was free from FIR
he habit to raise his right hand. 1t it.
semed that almost every hand was tn
p. WELL he remarked, cts worse w,
ian | thought" hu
A passenger on street railway to,
fered the conductor a silver dollar all
pay his fare of five cents The CON lv
actor said: 81 can't change that" he
he passenger replied: 81 have no tn,
her change but SIS bill" 81 can
lange that" said the conductor and
anded the passenger $4.95 in change, M
,ceiving the S. bill The problem
opears battling, but it is quite sim
e.
lie
"Doc," said farmer, eff you're EN-
1t our way this week you nights to
ell come in and see m wife" "What ms
is herr" inquired the doctor. "Dun- Re
}. After gettin' breakfast an fix 1t
g the children for school an churin' ms
/ sloppin' the hogs an doin' a little tn,
ashin'-they's only seven in the fam Tn
Y, y'know-she plumb declared us,
led have to lay down before gettin' So
nner! Says she's tired out Kicks
'out getting Sunday dinner" {