The San Francisco call., 1913-12-01
The
NJ anicure
Lady
By WILLIAM F. KIRK

BY WILLIAM r. hINh
xxTHAT word swise' is a funny
word Amt it, George2r said
the Manicure Lady There
was two gents in here this morning
to have their nails did, and both of
them was wise, only in different
ways. The first gent that came in
was middle aged fellow from a
small town He told me frank
enough that he didn't have the habit
of getting manieured and he said the
only reason he came in was because
he had three or four hangnafls and
had heard somewhere that q mani
cure could fix haugnails fine He was
awful nice and gentlemanly to me,
and told ms that hs liked 1T in the
small town better than in the city.
He said that he was a merchant in
the small town and was doing so
Well that he wouldn't care to move
into city where everything wasmew
and strange. He wasn't dressed very
swell, as far as style goes, and he
didn't have no Zip talk. but could
see that he had lots Of brains. and
knew he was a man"
Il noticed him when he went out,
said the Head Barber. He didn' t
give YOU no tip. though
Il didn't want no tip from him, Z
declared the Manicure Lady. Let
the fresh guys tip me, as long as
they have the habit He probably
never lived where folks give tips. or
he would have tipped sme as liberal
as anybody And now l want to tell
YOU about the other kind of a wise
guy that was in
This young fellow tells me before
he is in the chair a minute that he
Is wise fish. He thought ha was so
deep that he was all the time saying,
Do you follow me-? l couldn't have
lost him in his cheap chatter If /
had been ten times as. stupid as / am
which ! ain'L Yes, he says he Is
wise fish, or a wise owl. I forgot
which he said. but anyhow wise all
the way IT there is anything that
anybody ever put over ON me- he
says, want somebody to walk. up
and tell me. / am good and. hep TO
everything. he says.
Just when the nice. middle aged
fellow was going out this. young wart
comes in. The middle aged man asked
the young fellow which way to GO to
| find set of scales, and the young
fellow says. Why don't you go down
to the aquarium and ask az fish,?
tells the middle aged gent where
there is a big hardware store. and
after he had went | gave young
sporty a swift call for getting fresh
with his elders / talked to him un
I'll Il had desausted all my elegance
and 1t didn't do no good. He just
kept grlnning that wise grin of his
at me and winking his right eye. He
sure did give that wink a merry
game They've got to get up early
in the a m. when they put one over
on me, Ambrose the live one,s he says
to me. Maybe / might have let one
go over my head once, but ii / ever
did l must have been when 1 just got
lip and was rubbing my eyes he says
He pulled three of the latest stage
jokes. gave me a imitation of himself
initiating George Cohan, and pulled
"a lot of fash conversation. all during
the time ] was hurrying madly TO get
his nails did and get him out of the
shop.
THAT is the kind of wise guys that
our big city is getting choked mp
Wi tn, George. When they know enough
slang to keep everybody guessing
about what they are talking about
they think they are deep. They amt
any deeper than saucer, and nobody
ever got drowned in a saucer. II you
ever want to get In dutch with me,
George. Just come around some Morn
ing and tell me that you are a wise
fish,"
DOMESTIC ECONOMY +