Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1913-01-20
SPEAKIN' OF
WIDDERS
Copyright, 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.
By M. QUAD

1t is being talked around that you are
sparkling the Widder Simcoe 1t hainI
none o my business, but you know I'm
living with my fourth wife and have
nacherally had some experience Will
the sex.
"A widder woman is wife whost
husband has died and left her free tC
play the devil with men for ten miles
around.
"1eS. in my courting around court
ed widder women as well us the Other
kind thought it might be jest as
well to find widder with farm and
plenty of live stock as to take wo
man with nothing but what she stood
in. found that widder. There was d
hundred acres of land. a good house
and barn. and the horses. cattle. sheer
and hogs made my mouth water.
IL didn't let on that I'd come court
ing. | was in the tombstone business
then. and l told her I'd called to see
about stone for her husband | de
scribed the one Id put up for my wife
how lonesome we was. and both agreed
we'd never marry ag'in.
That's where we both lied and knew
we were lying.
THAT widder woman drawed me on
In fifty different ways, but mostly by
tears when she spoke of the departed.
l never saw tears in her eyes that
didn't want to put my arm around hel
waist and wipe them away. She said
that man was an oak tree and woman
only willer and that it was natural
for the wiler to want to lean agin the
oak.
"One day l decided to settle things.
| drove over. and she had the same
smile for me until began to talk
business. Then she said she guessed
I'd made a mistake in the house, and
hinted that Id better drive on for
mile and half
while appearing to be as innocent and
childish as spring chicken? Got
feller to look up my property and
found that | was under mortgage. and
she let go as If had been hot tater.
Yes. she did, and all the time she was
telling me that If she ever did marry
ag'in she didn't care how poor the man
was If he only had manly heart in
his manly bosom, meaning me. If I'd
been counting long 'nuff to be head
over heels in love Id have come home
to hang myself in the barn.
"a widder woman don't hit fair
from the shoulders.
You don't know when to believe her
and when not to.
when you think you've got her she's
somewhere else. When you begin to
flatter yourself that you've got all the
other fellerS on the run, she's working
her cards to ring in new bunch
"One experience with a widder
woman wasn't huff for me- It's Jest
like when you git blowed up with
powder You know you've been bowed
but yet you banker to go back to the
spot and look around for the frag.
ments. was buying hay that sum-
mer. and l called on another widder
to see if she'd sell me five tons
''She wasn't five minutes finding out
that was widower.
"As she knew that I'd quit the tomb.
stone business and she would be safe
she begun to talk about her dead and
gone Moses. He had split her life. He
was dead. and she didn't want to talk
agin him, but she had to say that he
was a pesky mean man. When she
married agin she hoped to marry her
equal and man who loved her for
herself alone.
II went away from that house so
frustrated that forgot all about the
hay. I'd have bet steers to calves
that the widder was gone on me at
first sight.
"Of course I went back ag'in. Had
to see about the hay. No hay for sale.
but we sat down on the shady veranda
and talked. and when we got through
talking | was asked to call ag'in.
ut haint no use in denying that |
thought | had struck IL good thing.
There was good farm and nice
widder woman that could do Mon
day washing and ironing and be ready
to bake bread on Tuesday. | used to
sit and hold that widder's hand iu the
moonlight and hear the whippoorwillS
sing and feel jest as if could melt
away like butter in July. She kept
drawing me on, and | should have
popped the question within two months
If she hadn't stopped me at the crit
ical moment. She seemed to read my
thoughts, and she'd bring me up short
before ! could get the word out.
Then. as in the other case went
over one day to lay my manly heart
at her feet. She caught me up before
l could lay it by shedding tears and
telling me that she must raise S10O
or be sued My Marian he sued? Never
on this earth. / bumped for town and
borrowed the money on my note and
carried it to her. and | was to call
next day. when-when | didn't. | had
never seen a man Spooking around
there, but l learned that she had five
of us on the string and that she had
borrowed the same amount from each
without security. Can't talk about
| 20 60 -Ioe.