The Washington herald., 1913-03-06
srArEnRa-REAL AND NEAR
~ FRED c. KELLY,

| Even United States Senators have
their funny dreams. Senator Borah
came to work the other morning greatly
Impressed with the oddity Of The dream
| that had come To him the night previous
He said he thought himself at tho gates
| Of heaven. and It wasn't Ike what he
had expected to see at all It was a good
deal like the front Of a summer an1use-
ment park. and there was a man stand
ing at the door looking at everybodys
credential" and dropping them into .
big box. after which he let certain ones
pass through the tlIrnstile- The gate
keeper wore buskins on, his legs. fas-
| tened with thongs, like Robinson Crusos
used. and he had an old leopard skin
| thrown over his shoulders He had a
habit Of standing with one leg crossed
| over the other one. resting on the toe
Of the foot. and one hand placed on his
hip. the way prize fighters do when be-
ing photographed. Borah looked at the
mans face and recognized him from his
pictures. It was Samson.
| Then there's the dream Of former Sen
ator Kavanaush Of Arkansas. one Of
| the three recent Successors to the late
Jen Davis. Kavanaugh Is a baseball
magnate and thinks about baseball In
wakeful or sleepful moments whenever
possible. A new pitcher, a rare find that
Kavanaugh had picked up for one Of
the Southern League teams, was warm
ing up, as 1t seemed. and he had wonder
fun speed. Judging by the sound of the
ball against the catcher's glove The
| thing that puzzled kavanaugh, though,
was the speed with which the ball was
returned from the catcher. He would
hear the plunk OF the ball against the
catchers mitt and then almost before
the catcher would have time to return
the ball. the same plunk sounded again.
In his dream. Kavanaugh tried OF reason
1t out His subconscious mind argued
that the battery was working too fast
to be true. and II must be only dream.
So he managed to arouse himself to as
certain the truth
Even after he got awake he still heard
the frequent plunk-brief pause-plunk
Of the ball. kavanaugh went 10 the win
dow and looked out. for never had he
dreamed anything more vivid II was
a man next door beating a carpet!
Representative Frank Willis of Ohio
taught In a law school before he came
to Congress.
Ono day he asked a youthful pupil what
demurrer is. and what is meant by filing
a demurrer to a legal petition
The young man hesitated.
Don't you known" demanded willis.
''Ye-es. I think So" said tho student,
but still showing great hesitation.
Then tell it, said Willis.
Well" ventured the young man, 'as I
understand It one side comes into court
and admits the truth of a charge. but
practically asks the other side what IN
thunder they're going to do about It"
Willis gave him a mark of 100.
Samuel G. Blythe and Thomas ].
Pence, two distinguished Washington
journalists. met last summer In front
OF the Hotel Cecil. IN London. and start
ed to stroll along together.
In the course of their walk they ap-
preached a monocled. drooping-mustach-
cd. high-hatted. frock-coated, pompous
Engiishman. packing more dignity about
with him than Chief Justice White ever
thought Of He looked SO much like a
typical comic magazine Englishman that
the Americans were greatly amused.
I'm going to see If I can break
through that dignity said Tom Pencs
AS they came up to the man. Tom in
quired:
Il say. old chap. can you tell me where
Col. Pence lives?"
There may be several Col Pences."
replied the Englishman. after adjusting
'Oh. TO he sure, but i mean the IA
nous Col. Pence" explained Tom.
There Is no famous Col. Pence" was
the Engiishman's reply. And he walked
away. leaving Tom Pence with height
ened respect for the perceptive powers Of
the native Britishers.
Claude Kitchin. OF North Carolina ons
Of the smartest members of the Ways
and Means Committee. sat in the House
listening to the speech of a young mem
her who has a habit when talking of
throwing his arms about at a great rate.
After noting this for some time. Kitchin
turned to q colleague and observed:
The citadel OF the mans reason seems
to lie IN his arms"
Looking over the members of the United
States Supreme Court. one is impressed
with the compactness of the face Of Asso-
ciate Justice Lamar. His face gives the
impression Of containing material enough
for a much larger face which for some
reason has been compressed into smaller
Representative Covington of Maryland
happened to find himself In a seat next
to man named Isaacson on the train
last summer. 1t was a hot day After
freely for an hour, Covington's
scatmate turned TO him and remarked:
''Tll bet you the temperature has ad-
vanced 10 per cent since morning
Senator Warren of Wyoming frequently
tosses coin to decide something that no
rannot decide any other way.
(cOpyhsht, 1873 by Fred C. Kelly. All rights re-
serrcdl