The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-07
Dolly Enjoys an Interview with Weber and

terview With Weber and Fields in Tn
buy the other half Joe, and keep the car
| in the family"
Mr.. Weber-"Sure l will; but remember
| | want the half with the lower berth
| How much is a railroad car, anyway"
| Mr.. Fields-"How much? Us few ten
thousand more or less any difference
now? Don't be stingy."
Mr.. Weber--'Me a stingy, me? Here is
my check. Fill it out yourself.
Mr.. F'ields-"Don't fill 1t out-fill 1t In"
| Mr.. Weber--'T say, fill it in
Mr.. Fields-"wouldn't it look SO nice
| filed out as it would filed in?"
Mr.. Weber-"Twice nicer"
| Mr.. Fields-Very we'll, then, I'll fill il
out; but remember. Joe, filling checks out
is one thing and filling checks In is an
other. A check is a piece of paper. II
| isn't filled out until Il Is filed in
Mr.. Weber-''Then 1 will fill 1t out"
Mr.. Ffelds-"And will fill it in
| Mr.. Weber-''That is right. 1t is filled
out and filled in. See? Business Is busi-
ness, Lew, don't forget that
! Mr.. Fields-"That is settled now. We
| buy the car, but remember, Joe, the
/ Weber part comes no further than right
| here by this window Indicating certain
point and I get all the way TO the
bumpers. Shake"
4
Thus did Mr.. Joe Weber and Mr.. Lew
Fields become railroad magnates dn their
| talk, as they entered Birmingham and
| began to count up their receipts from
| their successful southern tour which by
the way has been phenomenal In every
respect
Mr.. Weber-"Currency. currency, ev-
erywhere. Let's put this stack of green
backs out of the way?"
| Mr.. Fields-"You'd better. Ny fingers
are legal tender"
Just at this moment Mrs. Dolly who
has only thinking part in these
Conversations moved her seat and sat
down "ker funk on a perfectly good
cash register, so as to be out of the muss
of money. and ventured to ask
sIIow have you found trade conditions
| in the south?"
Mr.. Fields-"Oh So so. We've seen
some trading here and there but 1t ism
! what it should be in spots. Small trading
lis mostly retail; then again, the whole
sale trading isis
| Mr. Weber-''Jobbing.P
Mr.. Fields-"Yes. jobbing is trading
Wholesale; and retail is wholesale III
| Mrs. Dolly: "Is trade on sound base!
| Mr. Weber: ''On what?'
| Mrs. Dolly: ION q sound base?
| Mr. Weber: 'It Is and it isn't Ihere
/ fluctuations in values, and when values
fuctuate you'd better look out for er-er
values either fiuctuate or they DON'T SO
you see you never can tell
MIR. Fields: Fluctuations, when they ell
feet values, make values uncertain
They fluctuate and fluctuate and fluctuate
until YOU wouldn't think one value could
! flctuate any more, and even then they
don't stop. Isnt that the way 1t looks
| to you, Joe?'
| Mr.. Weber: "Yes, I've seen EN- do II
time and time again..
| Mrs. Dolly: 'How about trunk line ton
mage? Is Interstate commerce holding sat
isfactory in this part of the country?
| At this Mr. Weber and Mr.. Fields
crumpled up in a heap.
| Mr. Fields: You tell her. joe
MIR. Weber: mo. you tell her. That $
| cne for you. Go on. You needn't be
afraid. It's easy"
AS to that, IL 1t isn't, l would ask
whose fault is it? What is a ton? It's
! n heavy weight. Tonnage is an old
heavyweight. Now holding satisfactory
rlay or may not be. Here and there may
be, but generally not, should think. AS
| to-er-er interstate, or what dyou call 1t
well. anyway, the same thing may be
tue. In the south you look for it. From
| this car window L can see seVerai gums
by"
| Mr.. Weber: And in Atlanta 1t was a
shame. Honest, never thought 1t of At
lanta: otherwise, it is fine place. Yes
agree with Lew, that there is room for
Improvement in that regard"
Mrs Dolly: do you find travelling de
luxe all that you expected
Mr.. Fields: II think it Is just about
that, isn't it, Joe?'
| Mr.. Weber: 1.-THE exact distance that
/ ti,is tour calls for is about 1853 miles.
| Yes. it amounts TO about the same thing.
We've found it that way generally, all
though sometimes it's been as much as
| so miles an hour"
| Mrs Dolly: zone more question: Do
! YOU think the acreage of grain this year
will equal that of 1912. and how do you
find industrials in the south?
| Mr. Fields: Everywhere we've been
we've seen acre after acre. some large
| and some small. but all just as contented
as little lambs. All, it makes me feel
good to see so many acres so nice and
Quiet like. No place in the world COM
Mares with these old United States when
! Il comes to respectable acres. They are
nerfect ladies, and are the bulwark Of
liberty. and they mean freedom from op-
pl ession.'
Mr.. Weber: "Say something about in
| d,lstrials for heavens sake. Lew. You
| saw them, too, and the lady wants TO
| know.
/ Mr. Fields: "Of course / wa% intro
dnced to several of them blondes and
| brunettes and / was proud to meet
| them too, and see them in such flour
fishing condition. Politics is one thing,
and tonnage is another. but when il
comes to industrials when you see them
fourishing like they are and know
what it all means to school children
] YOU have to hand 1t out to industrials
1 IL | had missed seeing Your industrials
i would have felt like a--a-like--a-'
Mr. Weber: 'Issi,nist."
Mr. Fields: YES. like an issimist
! There's no two ways about it. A mar
must be an issimist or notimist and
the south's hourishins industrals have
made me an innermost. and ! say,
like it,
Whew-
/ DO you see how / got all that
Well, | did, and Just as l was about
to leave ! made some inquiries about
that great jubilee that these funny
men had up in New York last Year.
Il 1t pleased them for they boti
smiled 'muchiy."
Mrs. Dolly: "wm you have another