New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-12
AS | WAS SAYING

You have missed it! The gorgeous function Is
over But do not despair for the jacksonville, hy"
IuIep was among those present and speaks Freely
The As You Like II Club has become quite
social fete. All were most eXquisiteiy go"heu j"
the seasons most up-to-date la modes Pen can
not describe this scene of gayety. a regular IAN
land Won might pronounce it, only Aladdin's magic
wand could produce transformation scene IKE thiS
surrounded by yellow and green tapers with yelo"
and green shades IN the most dainty hue and as
me mellow lights hickered the guests assembled
around these festive boards to low, melodons Strains
Of music. rendered most skilfully' by Miss kehd
Watson vibrating throughout the parlors and dlh-
ing room"
Chorus Of escaped Kentuckians: "Humous' I'M
poster, We recognize your style.
Reply by MS: Thanks. Nindicated at last.
81 was Interested in your account Of the lightning
calculator discovered among the mnaucs at the
Nantes asylum" writes D. y. c. but was not
surprised just let me tell you about Uncle Zen
as we call him-a harmless original allowed AT
large M here AT West Redhcld. He has % genius
for poetical Improvisation Last evening "' at
tended revival meeting and when dozen con
verts had spoken Uncle Ben arose. Much 10 the
evangelist's astonishmenL he spoke in verse. Got
ON very we'll too except for the last line. This L.
what he said.
My Christian friends . spose YOU kHo"
That u to heaven YOU would 90.
You must slittams -dinkta-dic-du-oh
Excellent We have heard great many dis
courses on the subject by laymen i'm oar time. but
never one that could at a compare with this IN
clearness.
They are annoying the poor. dear valedlctorIah
lust AS he has poised on the very pinnacle Of aca-
demic glory they remind him that he is closed
incident Not so. At least not necessarily so. He
may lack initiative. He may be no match for the
issues that require original, constructive. creative
thought But consider what memory he has
Try him with Half dozen Little Necks yunder-
stand and mock turtle soup. understand and
broiled salt mackorcl cut out tho soup and an
order Of roast tcndcroin. understand. and French
fried potatoes and macaron aw Erate-in and lima
beans and spinach etc, etc, etc. and he viii die
disgustingly rich.
New times. new problems Behold how even the
old World Is smtten with modcrnity and its horrors
as revealed in "servantgalism; or. What's to Be
come Of the Missuses%'
Servant Gal. "Oh, II you please. mann. there was
one other think / should like 10 ave settled"
Lady: "Ycs2'
Gal: Where do you go to the seaside in the sum-
mer? Because | couldn't go to a dull place, or
where the hair wasn't very bracing."
For the enchanting picture that illustrates this
consult Punch" Vol XXIV 1853!
Opening our "Buenos Ayres Standard We en-
counter the timid advertisement. WANTED bull
terriers must be well bred and fond Of goats" We
cannot blame the advertiser for desiring to defend
his premises. hut in his fix we should demand i'll
bred bull terriers and make IT a sure thing
More trouble Letter from "Interogatio' asking
why photographers have such long, sour woe-begone
faces Though pressed for space to answer fully
we jot down few reasons that may suffice for the
present.
Nov, why on earth don't You put in whole
evening at IT, and get enough written YOU can
loaf the rest OF the week.
| Come out and us What! Cant because OF
your column? why write It the trolley"
Hello up there, We've in the touring car
this time. Oh don't worry about your little squbs,
Dot will just love to stay behind and do them for
/ you"
! What you need is garden. Spend the day out
| there digging. and you'll see! Why, man. it'll
freshen you up the column will simply write
! itself"
! All the end is in sight and we have kept our good
resolution, For once. not syllable in praise OF the
! Malignant Outragettes. r. l.. II.