The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-08
HONEST ABE, U. S. A.
He Scares Another Man Into Matri-
mOny.

mony.
AS was making ready to go out on
my route 1 sang to myself:
"Oh the Farmer Poet, when told to &c
it,
Can write of his turtle doves;
He can sing of the spring, or any old
OF the farmers woes and loves.
He can write sad rhymes a hundred
times,
He can write of earthly joys;
He can bring the tears when he writes
He can smile with the girls and boys.
"A requiem sad he can write, b'dadi
Or an ode on the setting sun;
With twist of the wrist, if you insist,
He'll change to a son of a gum
ABE, quit thatY' said the postmaster.
For why?''
"Agin the rules
But the sacred constitution permits
a citizen to write poetry
But not a postal employee"
And why not?"
POSTMASTER general is a poet himself
and will have no rivals. I've warned
you about it before
You can browbeat a poet, but his songs
cannot be killed. I was singing softly
when L got along to the Widow Skin
ners. I found her at the gate with
her hat on and a business look in her
eye.
"Abe,'' says she, II want to ride with
you as far as the crossroads. 1 want
to use the telephone"
"Of course Anything wrong?''
There is, but I'm going to right it
or make certain person jump Jim
Crow! L presume you know that Joe
Weatherbee has been counting me for
the last year?"
Yes, I've heard that he had that
honor, the lucky man, and, though I've
got a wife and six children, I've been
a little jealous of him.
mo soft soap, Abe" says she, though
she looks bit pleased over my words.
i've been a widow for five years. Up
to a year ago my mind was made up
that I'd never marry again.
"Then Joe Weatherbee came along"
He did. He passed the house one
day when 1 was picking currants, and
1 looked so sweet and charming that
he fell in love with me at first sight.
After he had called once or twice be-
gan to like him, and so he began to
come two or three times a week"
And is coming yet and is going to
marry you and become the happiest
man in the country"
That's what 1 wanted to talk to you
about she replied. ABE, you are a
mighty big man, amt your?
II am, widow. 1 represent this great
American nation and all it's principles.
I've got the eagle on my right hand, the
flag of liberty on my left, and the
motto of E Pluribus Unum' is tattooed
on my loyal breast. However, you must
not appeal to me officially. In my Of
IL
of anybody's love affairs. If you ap-
peal to me, it must be as a private
citizen"
.'All right, and here goes. If you had
spanked a girl for a year; if you had
praised her hair, eyes and nose; if you
about bridal tours, happy homes and
all that, wouldn't you consider your
self engaged?''
'I should, widow should. Yes, sir,
should feel that I was engaged and
go around stepping high
Even if you hadn't exactly popped
the question?
to pop in cold language. Actions speak
louder than words. And when is the
happy event to uome off?''
That's THAT makes me tired. Two
weeks ago Joe began to claw off, and
I've heard that he was making ID to
You don't say! Turning away from
buxom loneliness to pick up with
scrawny ugliness-how can it be?''
He is evidently going to give me
what they call the shake - said the
widow, as her teeth clicked together,
"but he's got hold of the wrong wom-
an, Abe. Can't no man come toying
with my heart for a year and then
walk off whistling Yankee Doodle -
''Of course not I says, "of course
not. Was there any disagreement or
quarrel?''
Not a word
Didn't dispute about the whale
swallowing Jonah. or. as to who should
build the fires in winter?''
Not at all. It's just Joe's tickle
ness But Pm going to give him
jar I'm not to be numbered with the
shooken. Do you think I'm unwoman-
ly, Abe?"
mot a bit of it. Lord bless you,
widow, but my wife threatened me
with club to bring me to time and
I've thought the more of her for it? A
woman can't let her heart be made a
plaything of, can she?. A widow can't
waste whole years time and then be
held up and shook like an old coat
She can't Abe, she can't, and you
just watch my smoke. Here we are,