davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
Birmingham College

The canvass being made for fund
Of $2500o0 for Birmingham college is pro-
crossing most encouragingly," said the
Rev Mr.. Cumming, financial agent for
the college. "The fund is now nearing
the 100000 mark, and l hope the s250,o0O
will be subscribed before the end of the
present year. As is generally known the
fund is to be divided between a perma-
nent endowment and new buildings and
other improvements.
Il find that the people of Birmingham
regardless of denominational affiliations
are much interested in the college. They
feel that 1t is a valuable asset and are
disposed to aid it in its progressive work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
homes perhaps in the outlying dis

homes perhaps in the outlying dis
tricts.
In other words, the hope should be
that the receipts will come near
enough to operative expenses to in
duce the street car company to contine
the service. 1t will be self-sustaining
in the long run, and perhaps some
way to bridge over the flight of time
can be worked up in each suburb.
Each suburb should, in other words,
begin to negotiate for a continuance
of the service.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
Receipts on the Owl Cars

Assuming-that owl cars are like any
other new extension of transportation,
it is impossible to judge from the first
weeks receipts, or even from the first
six weeks receipts what the re-
ceipts would be in the second year,
when housekcepers had selected aew
houses in the suburbs. The people can
not quickly adjust themselves to i
cars. Once let them know. hor !,
that owl cars are a fixture IS
would, before very great win, be
recast, and people who are now COM
peIled to live within walking distance
would then select more comfortable
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
From the Memphis n.

From the Memphis -Scimitar.
~ NE-HALF of the country seems to
be engaged in trying to keep
- itself and the other half of the
country from drinking ardent and intox-
|icating liquors. The prohibitionists
would prevent the manufacture or sale
of it. The White Ribboners would have
men resist temptation by moral
strength. The churches would have them
shielded against temptation by the
grace of God. All agree that drinking
is an evil, yet, like some other evils,
1t has been praised and practiced from
time immemorial. Silenus has always
had many devotees and Dionysus, the
god of wine and of the grape, gave us
our word tragedy" because the goat
was the enemy of the grape vine, and
he was regularly sacrificed to this god
for his pestiferousness. Bacchus Is a
myth, and the Bacchantes, who dis
ported themselves in all manner of
drink and dissoluteness, passed from
public view; but they are said to have
some representatives among the smart
set, with those who attend Sherry din
ners. Anacreon sang the praises of the
juice of the grape, and good old Omar,
dear to old and young. MARBLES:
"Oh, my beloved, fill the cup that clears
Today of past Regret and future Tears:
Tomorrow! Why Tomorrow / may be
Myself with yesterdays sewn thousand
years"
Everyone knows that wine is a mock
Ter, and that drinking to excess is
curse, and no one better than the vic
tim of its evil influences. About the most
useless thing in the world is TO tell
man who drinks to excess the evils, the
pains and the penalties of drinking. He
knows 1t better than any theorist or
sociologist can tell him. He has pur-
chased the knowledge and paid the
price. AS well tell him that water is
wet or that fire burns.
Then why do men drink. knowing as
they do the evil consequences? The
question brings up the psychology of
drinking. 1t is leveler. BY borrowing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
FATE OF THE SCHOLAR
Trom the Boston Post,

He was primed in ancient Coptic and
the earliest Egyptian. and the old Nine
vite inscriptions were to him but A B C.
He knew Basque and old Etruscan, and
was voluble Ia Sanskrit, and could read
the Zend Avesta with great perspicacity;
And he knew the old Turanian, and the
Javanese and Hebrew, and the wam-
panoag dialect Hindustani, and the rest;
And the great old ancient language
spoke before the Tower of Babel, and all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
A SAD DELUsION

From the New York Sun.
General Mrs. Emmeline Pankhurst.
commanding the suffragette army in
England. congratulates her soldiers
upon having suffered very little damage
in collision with the police power while
playing havoc with institutions and
distinguished persons. A constabu-'
larry trained to respect the sex known
of old as the gentle and conscious of
superior physical strength which it
would be cowardly to use without re-
straint, has. it is true inflicted trifling
damage upon the Pankhurst phalanx
and the distinguished persons have
submitted philosophically to insult and
assault but what a curious delusion
it is that the men who fight the bat
ties of England and govern the empire
can be terrified into giving their moth
ers, wives, sisters and daughters the
ballot by such tactics as the smash
ing of such plate glass windows, the de-
struction of mail matter. slapping cabi-
net ministers and petticoat defiance of
long suffering uniformed policemen.
An assault upon the accumulated
treasures of the national gallery, the
British museum and the tower of Lon
don is now expected as coercive
measure. and the guarding forces have
been increased to prevent the desecra-
tion.
If these poor creatures could see
clearly and reason with calmness they
would realize that If they truly repre-
sent women they are proving the
incapacity of their sex to use the ballot
intelligently and with any sense of
responsibility. 1t is obvious that they
misrepresent women as a class outra-
geously and deplorably.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
sonE rALLAcIEs ApouT EAT

Leonard Keene Hirshberg, NJ. D., in Har-
per's Weekly.
The common fallacies associated with
corpulency are as numerous as the pat
ent medicine anti-fat remedies. Fat trans
ferred maketh the heart sick, yet there
are few physicians alive to tell OF ever
having seen that rare disease known COM
monty as a fatty heart" This bette
noire of the dowager, the chaperon, the
trust magnate and the post-meridian COM
mercial traveller, like hobgoblins and other
fearsome Pigments. has its being in the
vain lmaginngs of the great superstitious
proletariat.
Yet much may be done. Next to sugar,
there. is no greater source of adipose ts-
sue than a few drops of alcoholic or malt
liquors, unless it be mental inertia ana
physical activity. The species of drinkers
known as once-in-a-whiles are, perhaps, IN
this respect the worst offenders. You
may starve, you may work, you may
drug as you will the thirsty man grows
fat.
Next to the avoidance of alcohol. for
those predisposed to excessive breadth.
gyroscopic gymnastics is most helpful.
In your bath or boudoir a hard slab OF
wood or marble, may be used. This scheme,
together with roller brooms, potato mash
ers, cannon balls. rolling pins or other
means, really disposes of much of the
superhuous fat. Far be it from me to
suggest strait jacket or corset; yet
one of the latter made of compression
bands that fits snugly around the stomach
region and forces the fat upward with
out embarrassing the respiration will as
suredly reduce the amount Of abdominal
fat.
No more apocryphal and fallacious su-
perstition prevails among the special
pleaders of medical and lay dietitians than
the admonition of avoiding certain foods,
eating others and abstaining from water
at meal time. There Is no greater source
of unhappiness, inefffficiency, illness and
even death than this prevailing vogue.
Physicians like women and sheep, initiate
and obey an authoritative leader. IT
Dr. Osler writes that the old die young
there will be almost unanimity among
physicians in agreeing with his dictum
Hence when dozen conspicuous stomach
specialists taboo pretty much everything
but bread, bouillon, tea and water, the
mortality rate of starvation rises, even
though the death certificates neglect to
say so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
COUSINS TO SOLOMON

From the London Evening Standard.
The story is told of well known trav-
eler who on one journey was much an
noyed by pedantic bore who forced him.
self upon him and made great parade
OF his learning. The traveller bore it as
long as he could. and at length, looking
at him gravely, said:
MY friend, you and l know all that Is
to be known"
How is that?" said the man. pleased
with what he thought complimentary
association.
why said the traveller. you know
everything except that you are a fool
and / know that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
The Iron Market

The pig iron market is in a fairly sat
isfactory condition, I" said j. W. Mcqueen,
vice president of the Sloss-Shefield Steel
and Iron company.
we have sold our make and more for
February at s14 a ton on a No. foundry
basis. While some resale iron has been
reported at $780, the volume has been
exaggerated. I think Our lowest quota
ton is s14 for No. 2. look for increased
buying in the near future"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
LOOKED BAD
From Tit-Bits.

FTO1n llI-bIlS.
banker, having a bald head, was in
the habit OF wearing his hat during the
business hours. Every week a negro
workman on the railway presented a
check for his wages, and one day as he
put his money in a greasy wallet the
banker said to him:
Look here, Moses why don't you let
some of that money stay in the bank and
earn interest for you?''
"Oh, no. boss" replied the darkey with
a glance at the bankers hat. Use jes'
afeared. You look like you was always
ready to start somewheres!''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
REFLECTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
An old fool shows 1t more than a young
one because he tries more to hide 1t.
man can get so excited over his pipe
being clogged up that If the house starts
to burn down he won't know it.
The trouble with carrying your money
in your pocket is the next thing you
know it will be in somebody else's.
The later a man goes home to bed the
earlier his wife seems to expect him to
get up in the morning to explain about
it.
A woman never has to waste any more
money on photographs after she gets one
taken that somebody tells her looks like
= princesA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

j. n. Durham of Clafin, Kan, found a
sleeping farm that had never been
finest sort of alfalfa land and are worth
from $50 to $500 an acre. Dunham made
a hurried trip to the land office at Dodge
City, filed on the land and is now prov
ipg up on claim which will cost him
about $500 and viii bring him anywhere
from $4,000 TO $4,000.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The girl friends of Miss Helen Taft have
presented her with farewell gift in the
shape of a magnificent gold handbag
STUDDED with amethysts. Virtually, all of
her close friends We're represented in the
presentation, which was altogether in
formal. The Presidents daughter was
deeply affected. Miss Taft has spent al
most all of her girlhood in the national
capital, her distinguished father going
there in 1880 as Solicitor General of the de-
partment of justice. With the execution
of four years spent in the Philippines as
governor general, the Tafts have resided
in Washington ever since.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Prof. Johannes Fibiger, director of The
pathological institute in Copenhagen, says
his researches show that cancerous
growths in the esophagus and stomachs
Of rodents were due to the presence in the
alimentary tract of minute worms, an :n-
determinate number of which are from
the common kitchen eoclroach. Profess
sor Fibiger succeeded in producing can
Ger by feeding the parasites eggs on cock
reaches 10 rats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
PSYCHOLOGY OF DRINKING

from the future, at a pauperzing rate
of interest, it mitigates the yicissitudes
of the present. 1t makes a prince out of
pauper. 1t makes the down and outer
forget his miseries. and gives him cour-
age and momentary strength to go for
ward. 1t levels. 1t establishes the equa-
tion.
Why do men of superior intellect drink?
Because they are human and crave hui
man society. They cannot have 1t normal
ly. They are aliens in their own coun-
try. They are alone in a crowd They are
desolate distractions from the totality.
Their environment is inhospitable. They
care nothing for the concerns of the aver
age man, who decaims and rhapsodizes
over material infinitesmals-the seven-
teenth of a cent difference in a ton of
freight from New York to Cuba-the
number of votes cast in Ward in the
election of 1S90-the color of the dress
worn by Jenny Lind when she landed in
this country in 1850 ETC. Such things
do not appeal to him. Cheap conventions
do not appeal to him. Sordid things do
not appeal to him. The canalle does not
appeal to him. When a few forums are
accumulated in the right place, when
things are mulled and moaulated and
magnified, when authentic sense of pro-
portion is vtiated, then the hackman be-
comes interesting. the loafer most COM
panionable and the barroom orator a
Cicero. One can listen with rapt inter-
est to his washerwoman telling, down to
the lowest detail. the particulars of the
death of her first husband The most
trivial things assume the appearance OF
Importance. The windows of the heart
are opened, and anyone may see in who
desires. Everything grows and glows,
while the spell lasts, and before the time
for atonement arrives. Hence it Is that
the stupid and unimaginative man is
quickened and elevated by intoxicants.
while the man of superior intellect is
brought down to the level of his fell
lows, and enabled to fraternize and to be-
come the homologue of those around him.
In both cases it is unwise and imprudent
and eminently harmful, but that does
not change the psychology Of drink.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
TELEPHONES
Bell tprivate exchange connecssk
departments). No. <pee.

The world is grown so bnd,
Tint vrcns may prey where eagles a"'e
not perch;
s,,,cr every Jack became gentleman,
There's many gentle perso" ' "
Jack. -hhe
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The South Dakota legislature has passed
a bill prohibiting suggestive dances An
amendment was adopted providing that
at all public dances each Individual dan
Ger shall dance separately and alone"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
IN HOTEL LOBBIES.
Inquiries for small Farms

There is an active inquiry for small
farms in Alabama" said Leo K. Steiner,
who has large landed interests in cullman
county
The fact that the small farmers of
Cuiiman have been steTdily prosperous
mas been well advertised in the north ard
many homeseekers are now arranging TO
buy farms in that county Within the
next two or three years cullman's popula-
ton VIII have an appreciahle increa Sc :.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Members of the Texas legislature are
panic stricken over the appearanca of
cerebro-spinal meningitis among its MEM
bers' The sudden death of two represen-
tatives from that disease and the serious
illness of a third member of the house
caused that body to practically adjourn
until March s. owing to the constitutional
rule limiting the number of days that ad-
journment may be taken. Nearly all the
legislators have fled from Austin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
A sUPPOsITION

From the Houston Post.
We suppose the small Illinois ass who
declined to sit at the Lincoln banquet
with Senator Bailey remained in his stall
and chawed his oats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Mary Garden gave taxicab chauffeur
a $50 bill to pay for riding five blocks to
her hotel. and lie drove off without giving
her any change. She promptly had him
arrested. and he begins to think he was
unlucky in his choice of victim in
PHILADELPHIA.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

dialects and idioms spoke between the
East and West.
But he tried the fashion column in his
wife's domestic paper, and no slightest
trace of meaning did it anywhere betray;
When he struck a long description of a
swagger bridal costume it brought on
brain congestion, and his grave was dug
next day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

grammatical person in a loud vest. who
takes company of prize-fighters ON .
vaudeville tour?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

AS sad a man as eer you saw,
In jail because he broke the law.
There's not SO much" you'll say, ''to
that"
But this mans purse was rather flat.
No legal light for such as he
Would find a technicaltee.
FULL MANY.
Full many a man
Has lost his grip
BY being shy
One poker chip.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Full many a man
Has lost his stack
By being shy
One doggone jack.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Full many man
Has lost his beans
By having one
With two queens.
Detroit Free Press.
Full many a man
Has lost his face
By holding out
A useful ace.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
Full many a man
Knows where his "cush" is;
He lost it filling
Three-card flushes.
Houston Post.
NOTHING COULD BE WORSE.
"Some words are frightfully abused
Quite so. For instance, can you i'm
agine any worse treatment for the word
impresario' than applying it to an un-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Fresh eggs, "frsts," are selling at 10
cents In Chicago, and at about 20 cents
in New York. Prices are breaking rap
idly. Storage eggs are not salable IN
open market
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The Illinois solons do not pretend to re-
member the votes for senator's of the
voters themselves. The voters should
keep a record Of those solons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The lean figure of man on bicycle
has supplanted the man on horseback.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

1t is 40 years since the commune shot
up the streets of Paris, and Mexico City
is today trying to show how such fighting
should be conducted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

A state legislature is a body of sover-
eigns who waste time to begin with and
sometimes wind up by wasting the peo-
pies money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

After June Denver will be the largest
city in the United States under the COM
mission form of government. It had 213.-
900 people in 1910. Five city commission
ers are to be elected NAY 81.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

General Rosalie Jones has also crossed
the Delaware. George w. has nothing
on her so far as the Delaware is con-
cerned
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
NO END TO THIS.

PA, what is meant by dinfinitum ~
That's the same thing, my son, as
every valet having valet"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The Indiana solons propose to stop all
Sunday amusements, novel writing, Of
course, excepted
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Five millions of people want DR.. Fried
mans serum and he wants $5,OOolooo for it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

What Mexico needs is a very aggressive
and warlike bull moose. and we have one
to spare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The broom is now considered the chief
disseminator of bacteria. Perhaps this
is why some use it SO rarely.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The house cleaning season at the White
House is, nearing it's auadrennial close.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Mexico City has no ship canal and our
navy cannot make a demonstration
where it would astonish the natives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
MIR. T1NKERs co1J.ApsEs.

MIR. TINKERs coLLAPsEs.
rs this Mr.. Tinkers?"
Yes, sir What can do for you?'
wish to speak to you about a dell
cate matter"
is that so? Well speak softly and my
assistant will not hear you.'
To tell the truth, | think the hair
spring of my watch is broken
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

The belief is that the President-elect
has not told Mrs. Wilson who the nine
cabineteers are to be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
PoOR MR. PADDLES!

Mr.. Taddles says he could love you,
Angeline. if you would give him half a
chance
I'm afraid Mr.. Taddles is a hopeless
case. His idea of being sentimental is
to tell me about the tuberoses his mother
used to grow"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

cate matter"
rs that so? Well. speak softly and my
assistant will not hear you.''
TO tell the truth. think the hair
spring of my watch Is broken"
TRIPLES.
Mr.. and Mrs. waggles have quarreled
again."
What's wrong?"
oh. they fell out about something"
"Wen. that's somewhat to their credit"
why so?'
Most married people who quarrel fau
out about nothing"
AQUA AND BOOZE.
Once more they spring
The foaming flagon
To make a rhyme
For water wagon.
Detroit Free Press
How would it do
To suggest 'sjag on
AS an antonym
For water wagon?
Scranton Tribune-Republican.
Tho't may not
Be much to brag on
We ne'er fell off
The water wagon.
Houston Post
My goodness, Judd,
How life must drag on
For one who ne'er
Fell off the wagon
HAVLN'T HEARD OF HIM LATELY.
The Kansas house of representatives
recently passed bill making ''keg par
ties'' unlawful. By the way. what has
become of the o1d-fashioned man who
used to say, Come on, fellows, and ws'n
open a keg of nails?
JUST WONDERING.
We wonder if
That's mans alive,
Who smiles to hear,
please lend me five"
CAN'T FORGET
Three days have passed and still he's hot
About the valentine he got.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
SODA FOUNTAIN INDUSTRY

West Virginia and Illinois both need the
seventeenth amendment this minute,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18
QUITE A JOKER.
HANDICAPPED.

He refers to the stock exchange as
one of our best known watering places. :"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

AS sad man as e'er you saw,
In jail because he broke the law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala-'
postoffice as second class matter nhaer
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

AFTER June l Denver viii be the largest
city in the United States under the COM
mission form of government. 1t had as.-
900 people in 1910 Five city commissions
ers are to be elected May 81.
-.s.-------
Fresh eggs, "frsts," are selling at 10
cents In Chicago. and at about 20 cents
in New York. Prices are breaking rap
idly Storage eggs are not salable IN
open market.
The Illinois solons do not pretend to re-
member the votes for senators of the
voters themselves The voters should
keep record Of those solons.
1t is 40 years since the commune shot
up the streets of Paris, and Mexico City
is today trying to show how such fighting
should be conducted.
A state legislature is a body of sover-
eigns who waste time TO begin with and
sometimes wind up by wasting the peo-
pies money
General" Rosale Jones has also crossed
the Delaware George w. has nothing
on her so far as the Delaware is con-
cerned.
Mexico City has no ship canal and our
navy cannot make a demonstration
where it would astonish the natives.
-.s.------
The belief is that the President-eleet
has not told Mrs. Wilson who the nine
cabineteers are to be.
The Indiana solons propose to stop all
Sunday amusements. novel writing, of
course, excepted.
What Mexico needs is a very aggressive
and warlike bull moose, and we have one
to spare.
Five millions of people want DR.. Fried
mans serum and he wants 100000 for it.
--------s-----
The lean figure of a man on bicycle
has supplanted the man on horseback.
----s.---------
The house cleaning season at the White
House is, nearing it's quadrennial close.
West Virginia and Illinois both need the
seventeenth amendment this minute.
------------ss.------------
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-18

There's not SO much" you'll say. "tc
that
But this mans purse was rather flat.