The Washington herald., 1913-04-07
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR
D. FRED G. KELLY.

i Hoke Smith. the giant Senator from
0eorgfa, derives great pleasure from
eating fried chicken.
j On his way to New York a short
time ago the Senator went into the
diner with a friend, and suggested
that they split . chicken between
them.
Now, besides being fond of fried
chicken. the big Georgia statesman 10
q person OF observation. When the
/ waiter placed the chicken In front Of
him. Hoke Smith just sat and stared
at it. He was taking an inventory.
From a long series of close-range OBJ
| tservations, he had CLEANED the ineor-
nation that the number Of legs and
wings and thighs and other parts of a
chicken is uniform and constant
quantity. This particular chicken was
not up to the standard equipment.
\ "See here, waiter" yelled Hoke
Smith, .'if you'll go back to the
kitchen. you'fl find a thigh and half q
breast and part of back, all Of which
goes with my chicken. Tell the cook
not to hold out on me-.
1 And a minute later the waiter re-
turned with the missing pieces, and
Hoke Smith ate them with much
| relish.
| Seven solemn-faced Congressman,
members of the House Committee on
Naval Affairs, engaged recently In one
of the favorite Congressional sports,
| TO wit: inspecting the Panama Canal.
They planned to journey to the
| isthmus in the usual wagon an ordl-
nary passenger steamer, where tney
would be thrown with total strangers.
At first the idea Of travelling In more
exclusive fashion on a yacht never SO
much as occurred to them. Then some
body stopped to think. Why should
dignified representatives of q great
government travel about like bunch
OF drummers? Why should they be
pikers, when, mayhap, they could get
the use of the government yacht May
flower just for the asking?
The member of the party who nrst
thought of the plan to travel in style.
like men to the glamour born. received
"a vote of appreciation; but, it was
pointed out to him, he did not go far
enough. A great many people journey
to places in yachts, but how many go
in two yachts? Why not be sports
and have two yachts-the Mayfiower
and the Dolphin? Then they could
signal back and forth out in the mighty
deep. and it would be jolly to de-
gree.
So they made it two yachts. And
really when you stop to figure in the
wives Of the seven Congressman, and
other women relatives. two yachts was
few enough.
They divided themselves into two
parties and set out with light hearts.
But this, you know. is the stormy sea-
son, and small craft like the Dolphin
or the Mayfower is not at its best in
a storm. yacht may be more exclu-
sive, but 1t is whole heap less stable
than one of the larger passenger vessels.
All grew seasick-oh. SO seasick!
Representative Tribble, of Georgia.
member of the party. declared with great
vehemence that all were about to be
drowned E. r. Bathrick. of Ohio. said
he was afraid not. He had for q time
entertained high hopes Of being drowned.
he declared, but had about given up and
expected to live and suffer. Representa-
tive Roberts of Massachusetts said he
didn't care q continental whether ne
drowned or not, as he was about to
die. anyhow. So the talk ran. Lemuel
p. Padgett. Of Tennessee. sensed the
opinion of the entire crowd on his boat
when he said that the curse Of modern
times is over Indulgence in luxury
yachts and the like.
"'Tis indeed no place for met shouted
Frank Buchanan, of Illinois. BY that
time they were within sight OF one cor
ner of Cuba. Buchanan made the cap
tain put into port there, took the train
across the island 800 miles to Havana,
and proceeded from there by boat to
Key West. There he took advantage oe
Mr. Flagler' srailroadt to convey him to ths
mainland, where he plans to remain in
future. He said the rest of the party
could 60 on to Panama, enjoy the gov
ernment yachts. or do whatever they
took a notion to. for all of him.
To look at Associate Justice Oliver Wen
dell Holmes. sitting with much dignity
on the Supreme Bench. one would never
suspect what a festive vest throbs be-
meath his black judicial robe. Justice
Holmes likes any vest that is fancy, but
his favorite is one where bright purple
and plum shades are in control.
Some day this spring President Wilson
is going to ask Postmaster General Bur-
Lesson to accompany him to a baseball
game. and then II is going to be funny to
note what happens. Burleson has long
boast of the fact that he has never at
tended professional game of baseball
and does not purpose to attend one. To
see hundreds Of men gathered in front
Of bulletin board getting baseball re-
turns throws the Postmaster General into
a mild rage.
Those loafers," he always observes on
such occasions, "ought to be at work
down on my farm"
Which IL doubly rough on the baseball
fans. For Burleson's farm of 800 acres is
rented to the State Of Texas, and 1t is
cultivated by penitentiary prisoners.
Senator Townsend of Michigan was a
champion wrestler and boxer in his coll
lege days.
Copyright 1915, BY Fred G. Kelly. All rights re-
seTved-)
Mrs. Young's Way.
From Golfers Weekly.