The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-02-03
CAUGHT on the Fly.

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opera. To be really sousaesque 1t
should have boiler explosion at the
end Of every measure.
After all is said and done, the beef
trust itself furnishes the best argu-
ment for vegetariaism.
Gov. Wilson is great writer and
Gov Marshall is a great reader. That
is as it should be, for a president has
nothing to do but write and a vice
president has nothing to do but read.
Chicago court decides that women
who steps off street cars the wrong
way has no claim for damages. Then
no woman has any claim for damages
Chauncey Depew is sojourning to
Paris. Well, perhaps there are few
of his good old ones that Paris hasn't
heard or else has forgotten.
The price of champagne may, if it
keeps on Soaring, reach a height where
it will be impossible to christen any
more battleships and universal peace
will result.
Calve says one must be tall and thin
to succeed in America, but in spite of
that Charlie Fairbanks never got any
farther than the vice presidency.
The Mexican revolution seems to
break out afresh at the psychological
moment when there is nothing else to
put in the newspapers.
From the HickeyviIle Clarion.
Grandpa Bibbins is laid up with the
skyattic rheumatic at this writing
and is unable to attend to his regular
duties, which is chawin' tobacker back
of the stove in Tibbitt's store.
William Tibbitts' delivery horse is
so thin that Tibbitts hangs the harness
on his shoulder blades nights which
saves putin up harness hooks. Tib-
bits feeds sawdust in with the ground
feed, nine parts sawdust to one part
feed and says the boss amt complain
ed none about it yet although he does
seem to be getting the wooden expires
sion of countenance which we read ST
much about in Robert Chambers
novels.
| Elmer Jones was calm on Miss
F. H the other night. All, there
| Elmer. Pull the front winder curtains
down after this.
Old Man Purdy has got a new
wooden leg made outn a popular tree
1 and 1t grows SO fast he has to saw of
six or eight inches of it every day 81
he can walk without bein' lopsided. H,
has sawed off enough already to keel
him in stove wood almost all winter
The last wooden leg he had was made
out'n weeping willer and it looked 81
pathetic he didn't have the heart 4
walk around on it.
Hold Peters says it's great when you
kids have the measels. There aim
been bill collector within forty rod:
| of his house for three weeks. HAM
Tumms says his wife has saved up al
most enough soap wrappers to get :
new washboard. Hank is still in pol
itics. Rev. Hudnutt says free silver 1
a dead issue around here all right
The last time he passed the hat at th'
Hard Shell meetin' house, he didn't ge
anything but nickels and pennies.
see a woman the other day witt
five different colors Of ribbon on he
hat and a green parrot to boot an.
still they wonder at crime.
Her husband gets 81 a week actin;
as managing editor in livery stable
It's surely a boss on him.
1t takes a durn smart guy to be a
good as his wife's father was.
When Teller gets married. drink
whisky and buys an automobile he i
lookin' for three separate and distinc
kinds of trouble.
/ know a lot Of fellers that aim
afraid of work. They lay right dow
beside it and go TO sleep.
Mrs. ]. Frisby Frink has got a new
thing she calls vinegrette but j
seems like small thing to keep vine
gar in.