davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

do you think medicine is going ou1
of fashiony"
They were seated around the dinner
table, a number of University students
The Preventive Medicine Gun, his
his mind on the afternoons quiz
asked the question.
II think that 1t is not" came quick
from the Medic.
Il don't believe l would say that,
said the Moderator whose guests they
all were. when l was young we al
ways were taking medicine, but now
we seem to know more about what Is
the matter and what to do for it."
Yes, and we don't use as much
patent medicine as We used to-" Of
fered the Teacher who used to be a
high school principal.
You're wrong there" said the
Academ whose father ran drug store.
Il just happened into the drug shop
the other day and asked them whether
they sold as much patent medicine as
they did five or ten years ago, and
they said they believed they sold even
more OF course it depends on how
much the medicines are advertised" !"
What do you do when you are
sick?" asked the Medic. Run and get
a dose Of DR.. Somphoole's Cure for
coughs, colds, bronchitis, grippe. con-
sumption, heart trouble, kidney and
liver complaints, constipation and
corns?"
The Patent Medicine Habit.
NO, you don't understand me-" an
swered the Academ. when l say
that there is as much patent medicine
sold now as formerly / don't mean
that the educated classes of people
buy it. They have read the articles
that have been printed in the last five
years telling of the worthlessness of
many patent medicines. But the peO-
pie who never see those articles still
use lots of the stuff. OF course, there
are some reputable patent medicines" :"
did you ever notice." interposed
the Moderator, "how our grandfathers
had the patent-medicine habit2 They
wouldn't admit it, or even think of
such thing. but I believe it was the
alcohol in it that they liked to take
Some of those medicines were about
80 per cent alcohol.
And then, there were the old rem
edies that our grandmothers always
hal ready for every pain or ache
There was some sort of home remedy
for everything, from tying a red fan
mel rag around the neck for Group
TO making an onion poultice for ear
ache or ereasing your throat with coal
oil for sore throat. Now you don't
hear Tiuch more of that than you do
of planting radishes, in the light of
The moon"
"But to come back to my question" /"
sad the Preventive Medicine Gun, "is
the doctor of the future going to be
sanitary engineer or a pill dis
pcnser?"
The medical profession is coming
more and more to place emphasis on
the prevention of disease rather than
its cure" replied the Medic.
How is the doctor going to make
a living them" asked the Teacher.
For one thing, he gets more for
what he does," replied the Medic.
Then 1 think we may come to the
system of hiring a physician by the
month to keep the family in health. .
How the Newspapers Aid.
1T seems to me-" said the Modera-
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
Sixty.fiye Colleges i'm Penn Meet.

The number of colleges that have
entered for the annual relay races of
the University of Pennsylvania April
as now stands at sixty-fve. This is
said to be the largest number of col
leges entered for any meet in the
history Of the sport.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
BOARD AND ROOM

TO RENT-Large room with east,
south and west windows. Phone SIS
red. 3O7 College. (d3t)
TO RENT-Nice quiet rooms, close
to University. Price reasonable.
Phone 521 red. (tf)
TO RENT-One furnished room to
young man. Is Allen Place. (d3t)
FOR efficient baggage service, call
t.
TO RENT-Two rooms for boys.
71s Gentry Place. (dst)
TO RENT-Two furnished front
rooms In modern house; second floor.
Apply COZ Locust St. Phone 533
white. (dsD
TO RENT-Two nicely furnished
rooms for men students; all modern
conveniences. 301 Waugh St Phone
818 black. (d6t)
ALL baggage-Phone 72.
TO RENT-Furnished house after
September /. A. H. Welch, phone 845.
(d5t)
TO RENT-One room. to one or two
gentlemen, all modern convenience
1909 Paquin. Phone 26S. (d6O
TO RENT-A well kept front room
in new brick residence. newly furn-
ished. COG So. 9Th. (t)
FOR SALE
FOR SALE-Six room cottage with
bath, strictly modern. on easy terms.
Apply to Lee Forbis; phone No. 81.
(d12t)
FOR SALE-Hand embroideries and
laces for layettes. also Irish crochet.
Mr.. A. L. West, Oft. 1402 Windsor.
Phone $50 green. (d6t)
MISCELLANEOUS
72-Means prompt baggage service.
A GOOD JOB-For young man stu
dent Saturdays. Call 917 Broadway.
LOST-K. X. G. bar pin. Reward
II returned to 502 Turner. d3t)
CALL 23-For your baggage when
you leave. (d10t)
WANTED-1,000 student trunks to
haul. Scurlock's. Phone 72.
WANTED-Position as houseeirl In
good family. Address "J", Missourian.
WE SHOUT 1t loud. because we're
proud-SANITARY! Star Barber
Shop. 500 Broadway. See the nav
head rests on our white chairs. (dst,
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
Massachusetts, Records Here.

The Historical Library has recentlv
received a twelve-volume set Of u
Massachusetts, Public Documents.
Massachusetts, puts out such twelv,.
volume editions each year, and IL
Missouri Historical Library has bes.
put on the mailing list for all futuy,
years.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

The Washington police are begin
ming to find that the suffrage parade
was a rather serious joke.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

The names in the new Presidents
Cabinet run to bills" Four out or
the ten members answer to William
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
FARM ADVISERS PLAN WORK
Prof. DOane COnfers With Johnson and
Buchanan County Men.

Buchanan County Men.
C. M. Long of Johnson County and
F. w. Faurot of Buchanan County are
here outlining their work as county
farm advisers for the coming year.
Prof. D. H. Doane, state leader of
farm management work in Missouri,
is assisting them.
Mr.. Long was recently appointed
county adviser of Johnson County.
He was graduated from the University
of Missouri in 1905, receiving the de-
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
Girls Too.

Editor the Missourian: Some form
of athletic training is required for
all students who enter the University
1t is now a settled fact that mental
training should be accompanied by
physical training. The mind can act
more easily and quickly when the body
is kept in good condition. Time was
when persons thought that sports
were for pastime only. Now they
form a vital part in the education of
the coming generation. Speaking of
athletics or sports one usually thinks
of boys or men. But girls should be
trained i'm athletics as well as boys.
They are required to study and per-
form mental tasks. so they, too, should
have physical training.
Hockey. basketball, baseball and
other sports i'm the University should
be for the girls as well as for the
boys. All are students and need the
same kind of training JUNIOR.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
Student Nominations.

Student Nominations.
Editor the Missourian: The consti-
tuition and bylaws of the student
body provide that the nominations for
chairman of the student body be made
by the twenty-sixth Of this month.
This is the date on which We return
from our Easter vacation, hence it
seems important that the supporters
of the various men they wish to see
in the race for this honor should be
sending in the names of their candi-
date j.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
VIEWPOINTS


Editor the Missourian: What's
wrong with putting stunt Week to a
popular vote? B.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
STUDENT WANTED-For sta
work on Saturdays. 917 Broadway.

STUDENT WANTED-For stoo
work on Saturdays. 917 Broadway.
A SANITARY SHOP means skh
protection. The Star BARRIERS, MOI
sanitary shop in town. We can prov
it. 500 Broadway.
FOR STUDENTStTwo piece hso
union tailor-made Suit to order Z
University Tailoring Co. Is Nora
Sth St. Guaranteed all wool and bea
fit, $40 and up. (dst)
FOUND-Fountain pen. Owner magf
have same by calling at this office ~
describing it and paying for this NJ
PICTORIAL-Log Of the Ban II
Fleet cruise around the world ~ le'
fifty cents at Campbell & Alexander ta
This. same book formerly sold A.ta;
$s. Your library 10 not complete viAk.
out one. (nn
MARCH 20-Pack up and phons I
THE ROLLiR RINK-meet
bunch there every night: admis11l|
26c; half block north Of Wabash s6
ton. Open Sunday afternoons. o.
YOUNG MEN wANTED-for &
summer. Good wages for the T.
parties. Apply at the Central H
Room 8. fdzlfI
DANCING lessons given privu1
eos Conley. AS white. ~
STUDENT GIRL WANTED !
work mornings and evenings for -
and room in small family. Phons n
CT
PHONE 72-Baggage to depot
s.A HARDAwAY-Plays for -
ces. Phone 1se green. 8.
FOR SALE-Snappy 3-1s
Diamond Rings SIS to $40 q
ninger's Jewelry Store.
FOR SALE-Special Frat JGu(
and class pins made to order.
ninger's-s13 Broadway.
SAFE AND SPEEDY-scusie
trunk service. Phone 70. =
AUTOMOBILES-we have = S
used automobiles which we VI
at bargain. See them at the o
John N. Taylor.
THREE HUNDRED-RexsIl
edies. All guaranteed: q remsl
every ailment, At Columbia DElt
Corner Ninth and Broadway.
FRIENDSHIP JEwELRY-HR1
q. dc pins and Bracelets. 3 4
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17
Want ids.

The of Missouran ads is but half cent word
day. They bring greater results in proportion thp
any other form of advertising Phone wants to S.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

FOUND-Fountain pen. Owner ma5|
have same by calling at this office nl|
describing it and paying for this sl|
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

WANTED-Position as housegirl in
good family. Address "J", Missourian.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

PICTORIAL-Log Of the Ban II
Fleet cruise around the world ~ le'
fifty cents at Campbell & Alexander ba
This. same book formerly sold Asha;
$s. Your library 10 not complete vilA- !,
out one. (danl
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

FOR STUDENTS-Two piece IN
union tailor-made Suit to order 4
University Tailoring Co. Is NortA
9Th st. Guaranteed all wool and bel
ht $40 and up. (dsD
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

WE SHOUT 1t loud. because we're
proud-SANITARY! Star Barber
Shop. 800 Broadway. See the new
head rests on our white chairs. (dst)
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

FRIENDSHIP JEWELRY-APl
q. dc pins and Bracelets. q
gers. s13 Broadway.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

A SANITARY SHOP means skA
protection. The Star BARRIERS, mo-
sanitary shop in town. We can prov
it. 500 Broadway.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

THREE HUNDRED-Rexall
edies. All guaranteed: q remslr'
every ailment. at Columbia DEIe
Corner Ninth and Broadway.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

THE ROLLlR RINK-meet
bunch there every night: admisG
26c; half block north of Wabash -
ton. Open Sunday afternoons. a.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

MARCH 20-Pack up and phons {
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

WANTED-1,000 student trunks to
haul. Scurl0ck's. Phone 72.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

FUR SALE-Special Frat JeU(
and class pins made to order. !
ninger's-s13 Broadway.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-03-17

SAFE AND SPEEDY-ScuslG
trunk service. Phone 72.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
Puttiro Trees TO Bed.

An interesting method Of protecting
peach trees from frost during the win
ter has been practiced for several
years at the agricultural experiment
station at Canyon, Colo. Early in No
vember the earth is removed from n
circle about four feet in diameter
round each tree. and water is turned in
to saturate the soil. When the ground
has become soft the tree is worked
back and forth to loosen the roots and
is then pushed over on its side. The
branches are brought together and
fastened with a cord, and burlap Gov
cred with earth is put over them.
Thus the trees lie snug until spring,
when the covering is gradually loOs-
ened and finally removed, and they are
raised and prOpped up.-Rocky Noun
tain News.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
COURAGE OF NAPOLEON.
The Way It Carried Him From Aspern'
EssIina TO Waaram.

Professor J. Holland Rose In "The
Personality of Napoleon" writes of Ma
pOleOn's courage. He says that his
personality never stood forth so
grandly as after a defeat" The most
serious blow in the middle part Of his
career was that dealt him by the Arch
duke Charles at Aspern- -Essling, north
east of Vienna The Austrians were
nearly double him in strength. The
bridges over the Danube had been
broken down in his rear. His great
marshal, Lannes, had been killed, and,
in fact, he had suffered a terrible re-
verse. All his generals were for re-
treat, but he withstood them, and Pro
fessOr Rose ranks the next six weeks
"among the most glorious of his mill
tary career" He secured new troops,
deceived his enemy by false move
ments and finally defeated him at
Wagram.
But a decline came to such pro-
digious man. He himself said at st.
Helena that he had been spoiled by
success. 1t was natural that the vic
tor in fifty pitched battles and innu-
merable smaller engagements should
come to believe himself omniscient
and invincible. It was this hardening
of the mind that betrayed him into the
Russian campaign, that caused him to
refuse all compromise in 1913 and 1914
and that led him to defeat by his in
fori0re WELLINGTON and Pluobar at
Waterloo just as Hannibal was final
ly beaten by his inferior, Scipio, at
Zama.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
FOOD SUPERSTITIoNS.
pyak Warriors Won't Eat Deer For
Fear of Becoming Timid.

In rural Germany one still meets
with a superstition that he who eats
during thunderstorm will be struck
by lightning. Abstaining from food
during an eclipse is common among
savageS; also a belief that in eating the
flesh of any animal one absOrbs that
animals characteristics. Thus an In
dian tribe highly prizes tigers flesh as
food for men. but fOrbids women to
eat it lest It make them too aggressive.
In the KOngO women are forbidden
y eat birds of prey on the same princi-
pie, but are encouraged to eat frogs,
which the men on no account ever
touch. In the Caroline islands black
birds are a favOrite dish with women,
but men must not eat them, because
IL one did and afterward climbed a CO.
Goa tree he would surely fall to the
ground and be killed
Among the Dyaks warriors must not
eat venisOn because it would make
them as timid as the deer. Fowls and
eggs are forbidden to women of a Ban
tn tribe because IN eating either
woman would certainly fly into the
brush and never again be seen. Again,
the flesh Of many animals is, forbidden
because the animals themselves-for
example. swine-are disagreeable to
the eye OF have untidy habits.-Ex-
change
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
A Fleet Street Story.

Henry Arthur BrOome. in THE Log
of a Rolling Stone" says that in 1871
he was engaged in wood engraving for
Punch when one day, at the end of the
week. short of money, he stood gazing
longingly at the cherries on a cOster-
monger's barrow which stood abreast
Of the Offices of the London Telegraph.
His gaze arrested the attention of n
gentleman whom he had often seen
there before, though not at midday.
Then a kindly deed was done. The
gentleman, averting his gaze from me
a moment, purchased two paper bags
Of this fruit Then, placing one Of
them in the pocket Of his capacious
dust coat. he turned to me with the
sweetestsmile imaginable and without
a word offered the other one to me,
which l gratefully accepted. He then
passed on and went upstairs to the Of
fees Of the newspaper. That was my
first introduction to the prince of jour
nalists. George Augustus Sala.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
ALimit to HI. Power.

A curious historical anecdote is hand
ed down from the time of James 1.
James, being in want Of 100000, APP
piled to the corporation for a loan.
The corporation refused. The king
insisted. "But. sire, you cannot COM
pei u.s." said the lord mayor. mo" p"
exclaimed James, "but I'll ruin you
and the city forever. I'll remove my
courts OF law. my court itself and my
parliament to Winchester or to oxford
and make a desert of Westminster
and then think what will become OF
you" MAY it please your majesty, "
replied the lord mayor, you are at
liberty to remove yourself and your
courts to wherever you please; but.
sire. there will always be one consOla-
ton to the merchants of London
your majesty cannot take the Thames
along with you"
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
YOU CAN'T EAT
APPETITE POOR

Multitudes of people lose their
appetite. Simply don't care for any
thing to eat The dinner bell has no
interest to them. They loathe their
breakfast. They may nibble a little
Of this and little of that, but they
DO not care for it.
Lunch has lost all of its charms,
although they try to eat something.
Dinner about the same.
There is something positively
wrong, of course, but no disease that
can be named. Just out Of sorts.
That is all.
II is in this kind of a condition
that Peruna acts very benefcially.
After using Peruna, interest in food
is revived. Beginning with a tea
spoonful of Peruna before each meal
win generally quickly improve the
appetite and help the digestion.
Thousands Of people can testify to
this. Liberated from a slavery that is
almost unbearable. The slavery Of
having no interest in life. All used
IN yet one does not know exactly
whv. Take Peruna before each meal.
skies will get blue again. Fields will
look green once more and life will
be pleasant. You will feel that you
are good for something and the world
Is a good place to live in. Peruna
win do it. Not as an artificial slim
ulant. Simply a tonic that stimulates
appetite in a natural way.
Those who object to liquid medi-
cines can now obtain Peruna Tablets
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
BAD FOR PRONUNCIATION.
Silent Reading and Neglect of Con-
Versation Are Harmful.


Perhaps the most potent of influ-
ences toward diverse pronunciation,
especially difference in accent, is the
fact that we seldom or never hear in
conversation a vast number of words
which nevertheless constitute an inn
portant and indispensable part Of our
vocabulary.
"By silent reading and neglect of
conversation language itself" declares
Richard Grant White, ''is coming into
disuse." The result of this practice
is not only that we are always men,
tally registering pronunciatiOns pecul-
lar to ourselves. which we have no
means of ascertaining to be uncommon
or ridiculous. but also that the natural
tendencies Of our language. unrestrain-
ed by the conservative force which Oc-
casional Use in conversation might ex-
ert, rapidly foster new prOnunciatiOns
and produce & diversity of prOnuncia-
tion even among the most careful
speakers
All these influences obviously sup
plement each other in resisting any
trend toward uniform pronunciation
and facilitate the progress of the tend
encies of speech peculiar to our Eng
Iish tongue.-RObert J. Menner in At
lantic Monthly.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
TWISTING THE LANGUAGE.
English Has Received Some Sewers
Jolts In the Philippines.

Baby talk is a highly developed Ian
gragc compared to the jargOn Ameri-
can housewives talk to their Filipino
house boys But it usually conveys the
meaning when accompanied by express
sive gestures At best. however. the
performance of the command speaks
we'll for native institution.
Spanish construction of English
words is another twist that our poor
language gets in the Philippines. mo
got" in the island is the most common
" used expression for Il haven't any"
similarly mo can do" means Il can't
and no want" means Il don't want
it." Not only between American and
Filipino. but among Americans them
selves. this twisted construction has
largely suppanted the legitimate one.
With the soldier anything that be-
Ionged peculiarly to the Philippines
was described as bamboo" Now all
colonials use the term. The bamboo
feet" is the one assigned to Philippine
waters, and the bamboo government
is the Philippine civil government in
distinction from the United States mil
itary.
Among other "soldierisms" df may
be permitted this contribution to the
new languagel were certain pure Ma
lay words. The list is continually
growing. and now there are dozens Of
Tagalog and Moro expressions in con-
stant use among the Americans. For
example, there are the Tagalog words
''baguio." meaning storm" carabaO," !"
meaning an animal; 'palay." meaning
rice" and tao" meaning man. "
Moro terms in common use are
"amok." meaning wild" ''datO," "
meaning "chief:" kris" meaning a
wavy edged knife, and "sarong,' mean
ing a garment.-Review of Reviews.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
THE LovELIGHT IN HIS EYES.
He Thought That Was What Made All
the People Stare.

tne FeoPie STARE
"You have read in novels how a
great emotion will transform a mans
countenance, how a poets face in the
hour of inspiration sets the sparrows
singing on the hOusetops. My own
features are Of the commonplace type
nobody thinks of regarding them
twice-yet I, too, have had my expert
ences, declares a contributor to Punch.
"They occurred on the morning when
1 received a letter from Phyllis, which
said briefly, Yes, I think So Not
much in that, you may say, but when
/ tell you it was the delayed answer to
a proposal of marriage you will under
stand. Shortly after reading it 1 step
ped out into the street to walk to the
Office.
''What a walk that was! The light
in my eyes seemed to brighten the very
sun; the song in my heart was echoed
from a hundred motorbuses. Never
have the winds of May wooed so win
ningly a February morning.
every man met turned his head
as if lOath to take his eyes from my
irradiated cOuntenance. Every girl
seemed to take the keenest pleasure in
my happiness and smiled at me pref
tily as if infected by its cOntagion.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
But She Hadn't.

''Whats the matter, old chap? You
look as if you hadn't had a wink Of
sleep all night"
Il haven't You see. my wife threat
ened never 70 speak to me again if
didn't come home last night before 10
o'clock. ana l didn't"
u see You're finding out the lone
someness of solitude because she kept
her word, eh%'
"Not by a jugful. 1 wish she had"
EXc hange
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
True Kinderoarten spirit.

Master Harold had returned after his
first day at a kindergarten school, says
the Manchester Guardian.
''Well. Harold. said a friend Of his
mother who was calling. how do you
like school? I suppose you are the
youngest there"
"Oh, no." said Harold Indignantly,
drawing himself to his full height and
throwing out his chest-"oh, no. Some
Of our chaps come in perambulatOrs."
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
Cement Pavements

I am equipped to do all kinds of cement
work, such as cement sidewalks, curb
and gutter, water proof cellars, floors,
foundations, streets, concrete buildings
etc, at such reasonable prices as not to
fear competition. I guarantee all my
work, No experimenting. You get the
benefit of my experience and thorough
knowledge of the business. Inquire a
bout what claim for myself before you
get in touch with me.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10
shnt Her OF.

First Deaf Mute (making signs)-
Did your wife complain because you
stayed out till after midnight? Second
Deaf Mute (chuckling)-Did she? You
should have seen her. But when it
Legan to get monotonous l just turned
out the IIghL.
Milford chronicle., 1913-10-10

'7Tis weIl,' l thought On blank verse;,
that Phyllis now is pledged to me or,
by my troth, these fattering glanees
shot from beauty's eyes might make
my heart unfaithful.'
1T was only when 1 reached the Of
fee and looked in the glass that l dis
covered the large black smudge on the
end of my nose"