Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1913-05-28
THAT APRIL
FOOL HAT
BY NJ. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

AS baby Philip Gordon Masters
was dignified AS his days heightened
out he grew more so. At the age of
three he had never had smile on his
face. At the age of five he had all
the dignity of man. MIR. Masters had
been born rich. If it had been the
other way-if he had had to elbow with
the world-he might have been a diff
ferent man.
This dignified man was thirty years
old and was growing more dignifed
every second that passed. when he I'M
dertook short railway journey. He
had his own private car and the doors
were locked and the curtains drawn.
There came an accident By which the
train was obliged to halt at the village
of Whitewater for several hours. Mr..
Masters got tired of inaction and start
ed for walk uptown. 1t was the first
day of April. but he had forgotten the
date. In fact, as he was bigger than
the almanac there was no reason why
he should remember any particular
date.
You may have seen an April fool hat
posed on the sidewalk. There Is a big
stone under it. and it is a trap for the
unwary.
Mr.. Masters had never run across an
April fool hat He had never kicked a
man or a dog or football. He had al
ways kept his feet under him. Would
you have thought that old village hat
would have appealed to him? Would
you have thought that after thirty
years Of dignity he would have even
given it second glance? Human ma
ture is queer. 1t breaks away when
and where you least expect 1t broke
in this case. Mr.. Masters advanced on
that April fool hat with almost smile
on his face. and when he had approach
ed within a certain distance he drew
in his breath. swung his right leg and
sent it flying ten feet In the air. Only
he didn't! He didn't send it two inch
es, and If he had been pirate his
swear words would have been heard a
mile away.
There were boys ready to cry ha, ha,
ha! and there were men ready to laugh
no, no, no. and Mr. Masters limped
back to his car. boiling for revenge.
Whitewater was a solid, thriving lit
tie town. They had no bOoms there.
Its people were conservative and no
one had ever invested dollar in Wall
street OF sudden stranger appear
ed and called on Mr.. Brown in a
business way. Mr.. Brown owned ten
acres of land on the western side OF
the village. It's value was $25 an acre,
! but no one had offered any price for
1t. Mr.. Browns astonishment can
therefore be imagined when the stran-
ger asked for an option on that land
at 500 per acre. He got It. He eau
toned Mr.. Brown to keep quiet. Then
he went to Mr.. Gill. Mr.. Gill owned
two acres Of land and an abandoned
sawmill. The value was not over 500.
but the stranger got an option at a
thousand. Mr.. Gill was cautioned to
keep quiet.
Then the stranger got an option on
the ten acres on the hill and on two
stores, the tannery. the sash factory
and eight or ten other places. In each
instance he offered price and that
price was at least three times what the
property was worth.
/ What did 1t all mean? What was
going to happen? 1t was no use to
talk to the stranger. No information
could be got from him except that he
wanted more options. Some said 1t was
coal; some said petroleum: some iron
or copper or lead. 1t was even report
ed and believed that there was dia-
mond mine under the village.
There followed just what might have
been expected and just what the
stranger did expect. By the time he
had secured options to the number OF
twenty Whitewater was seized with a
fever. The price Of veal estate began
jumping. A house and lot worth $1,000
one day were held at $1,000 or more the
next. There was gravel ridge run
ming along the main street. The idea
was that diamonds were to be found in
this gravel There was a creek just
south Of the town. 1t was contended
that the hidden petroleum would be
found there. Under the land on the
hill was supposed to be great reser-
voir Of natural gas.
For two weeks there was no business
but buying and selling. The congrega-
lions at the churches of Sunday hard
ly numbered score. There was hard
ly piece of property In and around
the town that didn't change hands at
least three times. In quiet way the
stranger sold most Of his options at
double figures. One morning White
water woke up to ask what 1t was all
about. The stranger had disappeared.
OF a sudden no one wanted to buy.
Before noon there was rush to sell.
Inside Of twenty-four hours the $1,000
properties were being offered for $3.50.
1t is always so in the reaction. When
/ the town settled down bit ii found
! that 1t had been set back twenty years
and would have to pare its potatoes
very close to keep out of bankruptcy.
And the stranger? Oh. he didn't
count He was simDly the agent of the