Bridgeton pioneer., 1913-12-25

aside o'er the prairie and follered him.
After walking half u mile he stopped
and said:
Behold the spot. Here is pence and
rest and quietncss. 1t is tive miles to
the next habita ton. no corner saloon,
no ward heelers. no trouble and trav-
all. Here shall the orphan rec. and
sing his song and fear no danger
A Striking Argument.
/ was silently admiring the land
scape, which consisted of a hundred
acres of prairie and lame horse, when
l felt something hit me on the back
Of my neck. and two hours had passed
when opened my eyes to earthly af-
fairs ag'in. Then the bland and smil-
ing old kuss had long departed. and
with him had gone my outfit. 1t haG
been put up job OF a good and inno-
cent man, and it had succeeded. For
a time l knew not which way to turn
My speerits were down to zero and
my faith in integrity nil. Thus for n
few minutes. and then rallied and set
out on foot to the town mentioned.
1t was after dark when | got into
the town, and what was my surprise to
find that smiling and bland old kuss
selling my alleviator on the public
square and passing himself off for me!
| gave him more rope and then at
critical juncture closed in on him
When the populace found that it had
been deceived there was no more work
for me to do. The people did it them
selves. During the fervid excitement
l managed to turn the victims pockets
wrong side out and possess myself of
their contents, and when invited to see
him tarred and feathered and ridden
out Of town on rail was present on
the front ranks
Integrity made one Of the biggest
triumphs of the decade It was almost
as good as uncovering the operations
Of a coal road. sought my couch
amid the plaudits Of the multitude be-
fore thought to count my cash. When
did so I found that not only my own
had been restored. but I had $40 be-
longing to the bland, smiling old kuss
who was coated with tar. 1t was then
that | determined never to doubt In
tegrity again.
Integrity Wins.
Two days later | was jogging be-
tween the towns of He'll Bent and An
gle's Roost when | encountered a fe-
male. 1t is agin my principles to butt
in. but this female was weeping, and
1t seemed my dooty to cheer her up. She
was going my way, and | offered her
a lift. Tearfully she climbed up be-
side me. and when had given her five
minutes to subdue her emotions I
asked:
'Feller woman, hast the world given
you the icy hearth
Alas, it's all icel' she replied.
us it about the old MANI"
"She be. He got tired of my looks
and bade me take a skate"
Then | looked more closely at her
and did not find it in my heart to
blame him. though l hold that no wo-
man is to blame for looking unbeauti-
full. She can't help it more'n a mulley
COW can help being born without
horns.
"And where goest thouT' continued.
II goeth in search"
"Of another man?"
"The same-that Is, I was in search
Of another, but 1 have found him.
Where thou goest will CO."
She stole her arm around my waist
and snuggled up to me, and the tears
went away, and sunshine illumined her
face
Il am not free to marry" I said after
awhile. Back in the state of Indiana
dwells an old woman who watches and
waits for me. She may continer to
watch and wait for years and years to
come for all she'll ever see me, but
nevertheless the legal part still holds.
Love and matrimony are not for Joe."
Never in this vain world will / let
thee CO." says the woman. with a great
deal Of fervor
1t was then that called upon integ-
rity to get hump on herself and pull
me out of bad hole and it was also
then that my faith in her was reward
ed. The off fore wheel fell into the rut,
and the female was pitched out on the
prairie on her head, and by the time
Jhe had scrambled up 1 had the old
boss under moshun, and her efforts to
Dvertake me were in vain.
UNsas H.,HI1LsIl