Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-12-18

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round up $1,000. 900. Scarcely had this
item appeared than all the girls Billy
had ever known began TO show him
attention. and those who hadn't his
acquaintance sought introductions that
they might enter the race for Billy
and his million. 1t was not long
/ before lie counted ten pairs OF EN-
( broidered slippers arranged in row
on n shelf in his closet and twelve
dozen handkerchiefS with the letter
So worked in one corner that had
been sent him by aSpirants fo- his
hand.
One night after coming in from the
theater Billy sat down 10 look over his
engagement book and found that for
the coming week he had invited three
different girls to so TO the opera with
him on the same evening. was 10 take
out four in his car on one afternoon
and was equally entangled as to his
calls. Throwing the memorandum
book on his desk. he pushed back his
chair and sat in deep thought
This thing has gone far enough" he
said 10 himself "All the girls know
want to marry me, and those who
don't know me would want TO marry
me If they did know me. It's got 10
stop. that's all there is about tits
got to stop. But how am I going to
stop It? 1 might have an item pub
lished that my fortune hasn't panned
out as we'll as was expected and in
stead of $4,000 year I'll have to get
on with Il beggarly $1,000. This would
throw off the girls who want an estab-
liShment but there are lots OF them
who would argue that n tenth of a loaf
Is better than none. Besides, | doubt
if they would believe the statement.
especially If I spend my income. No.
that plan won't work.
suppose | marry one Of these girls
-thatll settle it. And l might as well
marry now as later 1t would save ME
n lot OF temptation. I'd have a home
II loaf in instead OF a club, and I'd
be fulfilling the natural requirements
Of a properly constituted existence.
The beasts and the birds mate-why
not man? I'll do 1t. I'll marry one
Of these girls, and that will head off
all the rest.
But which one shall / marry?
There's Lou Clarke. and Hattie Allen,
and Bessie Trask, and Helen Wartield,
and n lot of others. Lou would love
me dearly, know, but she's not very
bright, and | might tire Of her. Hat
tie. I'm afraid, IS too smart She would
get ahead OF me every time. Bess is
Il scatter Drained creature. always jOk-
ing. She's delightful as a companion,
but I'm afraid that If my fortune
should slip away from me she'd pawn
the clock and go on with her jokes
Helen is too confoundedly serious. She'd
always be looking at things in a mat
ter of fact way.
What a fine thing 1t would be if l
could find a girl that should have
fair amount of all the desirable traits
without having too much Of any one
of them. She should be Jolly, but Sc
rious at the serious times. She should
he fairly intellectual, SO that l might
be able to talk with her on ordinary
topics Of the day without her telling
me every few minutes that she knew |
more than /. She should be fond of !
children, as / am. Availability 1 should
place as her first requisite.
81 know way that i could find out /
something about these qualifications J
in the woman who would make me /
good wife. but I'm afraid the girls .
wouldn't chime in with it. When /
congressman is loaded down with ap- I
plicatio for West Point or Annapolis /
what does he do? Why, he submits !
the matter to competitive examination
and gives the appointment to the boy
whose papers are the best. 1t would
be just the thing in my case, but girls
are so uppish that they wouldn't sub
NIT to il.
yet I'm not so certain about that
where there is a million dollars at
stake. A girl will knuckle down to
n good deal where she has a choice,
on the one side. OF hammering a type
writer all day or examining knowledge
and love candy, and, on the
other, of spending her share Of $780,
900 a year. / have a mind to try it,"
Taking a pencil, he amused himself.
writing out some questions suitable TO
his matrimonial purpose. He wrote
down a number of them, scratching
out some and substituting others or
changing his wording, and at last
threw down his pencil. apparently
quite satisfied with his work. This
was his examination list:
First-State what you consider the
first duty of a wife.
Second.-Write something humorous.
Third.-Are you a new woman o.
III old one?
Fourth.-Have you many or few rel
itives? State their ages and sex.
Fifth.-What is your age? II
Sixth.-If your husband should come
nome tired and cross. what reception
would you consider It your duty TO
give him?
Seventh.-State the main features in
he constitution OF the United States
Explain the proper use Of shall and
Till'' and who and whom" Does :
Sorth, America rightfully belong to tf'