Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-20
On the ~ ~ ~
SPUR q Of
MOMENT
By Roy K. Moulton

FROM THE HIcKElVILLE CLARION.
T. Egbert Peavey is what might be
called a cosmopolitan. His shirt has
got an initial letter III" on the sleeve
his underelothes is marked ID. L..
W" and the initials cut in the inside
band of his hat is '"T. K" He has
evidently Travelled around some. The
new trimmer says all blondes is
not so bad as painted, and, by gravy,
we don't see how they could be.
Rev. Hanks, of the Hard Shell
meetin' house has got the greatest
collection of counterfeit money in
this country, and he is afraid to go
travelin' for fear ne will be arrested
for "shoveling the queer" He can't
tell bad money from good, but evil
IDENTIFY most of his congregation can.
Hi Higgins reports good froggin'
down Squazey Creek way. Hank
Tumms ate fourteen dozen legs at
one sitting this week and several
fellers is getting a square meal for
the first time since rabbit season last
fall. Hi has got new and swift way
to catch frogs. He tickles the frog
under the left foreleg with straw
and the frog laughs and opens his
mouth, and then Hi takes an atomizer
and squirts the frogs mouth full
of snuff and the frog sneezes himself
to death. This is more humane than
hitting same with club or spearing
same with an old rusty table fork
fastened to a fishpole, as has been
the custom around these parts.
Mr.. and Mrs Arson Frisby, the
leaders of the smart set of polite So
ciety, have got a new iron dog in
their front yard, which is SO true to
life that Dog Catcher Hiram Sphinx
tried to arrest it the other day for not
having a license tag, but couldn't lit
it into his wagon.
Business is so dull and folks around
here have got so gol dnrn mulch
longevity that Undertaken Amos
Butts is dickering with one Of our
parcel post delivery fellers, and may
sell him the hearse to use for a de-
livery wagon William Tibbitts said
a hearse would be quite appropriate
for some of our rural delivery fellers
because they never get dead and
can't take much pleasure in readin
them. Old Man Hicks lost his wooden
leg in the good roads south of town
yesterday and is trying to get some
body to dive for it. Hicks is using
a scythe snath now for his off leg.
but don't like it. as 1t makes him
walk crooked and folks is apt to get
a false impression. Hicks never takes
a drink unless he is alone or With
somebody.
Renfrew Binks, our station agent,
had his nose broke by a mail sack
which was throwed out of the 5:l7
last Thursday night and mail sack
from the TAT knocked the chimney
off the railroad depot the same night.
The draft in the station stove ana
Renfrew's nose amt been good since.
Jed Frink. our popular and congenlal
blacksmith, also frog spears made
with neatness and dispatch. sat down
unexpected on red-hot horseshoe
Wednesday last. Good luck, jed.
Amarish Tilson, our tonsorlal artist,
has got a new massagin' machine
that runs by electricity for massasln
faces, etc. Miss Maize Jimkey dropped
her rat in the coffee pot last Saturday
morning and she will not have to
color her hair darker so it will match
the rat.
Grandma Bibbins, who has been in
very feeble health for the last nine
years, has got job pumping the
organ at the u. r. meetin' house. She
spent last week patchin up the holes
in the organ bellows with mustard
plasters.