davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newark post., 1913-08-13
HERE'S THE REMEDY

This Little Contrivance
Makes It Seem Like a
Sleight Of Hand Trick.
Easy! Amy one can Use
It at first trial.
Stop in and see these
Machine Supplies before
starting your Fall SEWING
Newark post., 1913-08-13

NolLT---As soon as it rains, you will want
Just Received.
: ALSO; Plow Equipments for Fall Ploving
ue' :. i'xed up before you start. 1t will save
one' Come here and you save money
Newark post., 1913-08-13

Lightning striking their home at
Ellendale. one day last week. gave
Miss Alice Macklin a severe ner-
vous shock when the bolt entered
through window near large
shade tree and passed through the
house after leaping over chair IN
which her blind brother. Tolbert.
was sitting unconscious Of his dan
ger.
Newark post., 1913-08-13

The prompt use of sand to
smother the flames saved the auto
mobile of Paul Goslin of Whining
ton from destruction when 1t
caught on fire near Farnhurst, one
day last week.
Newark post., 1913-08-13

simple, ; durable. au-o-a..e.
: Earesss1S arr -zEe -sa.! e~s- = tie cars
post valuable ali aEc4-E--. --s,
10 twisting. b:clEE OF S-.;.-g .-Iead,
Newark post., 1913-08-13

Tripping over carpe
ing a room where she
talking with his step
Goodyear, at 404 East
Wilmington. last WedI
Gideon Martin. 53 We;
down stairs. His skull
tured and he died a few
at Delaware Hospital.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
Has Great Endurrnae.

Does your wife ever gtre IN in an
argument?"
NO, nor on" i
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19

other urns where steam is turned on. WINE an
other tub of peeled ones are being Drought iion
the SINNERS.
when they are done the ships cook himself,
Who naces 10 and fro in the galley all the while.
mounts upon the nearest urn with MS. ana TAX
ing great sixfoot masher proceeds to pound
them into a white fakey mass fit for king
But this is not all he has to do, either Inc
turkeys are browning in the long ovens ana ne
and his three assistants have continually TO open
the doors probe with long forks into the sweiling
breasts and ascertain when 10 take tnem OUT.
The mess tables are all numbered so that eacn
sailor knows just where to go when he gets down
through the hatchway. and he doesn't waste any
time getting there on this occasion It is indeed
singular and lively scene on the gundeck at TINS
period Every mans plate is heaped to the orim
before him and all apply themselves with OAR
ing and disregard for mere stomachs that Wonio
make a dyspeptic vince and turn his head Dozens
OF tables dangle from hooks between parallel col
umns OF sailors who only restrained from
eating each other alive by the himsy, vaeillatins
boards which support the food
When these rayenous appetites have been
slaked and even those who have the dilating pow.
ers of an anaconda are put at rest or in pain, as
the case may be- some of the "old shellbacks viii
begin to grow reminiscent and tell of the Christ
masses they have spent in lands where there were
no turkeys nor anything else 1T for the big
feed"
SAYS old Pete. the sailmakers mate: 7 mind
nothin In the storeroom but ton OF crusty hard
biscuits full OF bugs, when y busted EN- with
the handle We yer knife they went whimty nifty
In every direction-under yer plate behind yer
cup up yer sleeve and around the mess pans
But mates, that was Christmas fer yer life! We
couldn't eat the buffalo meat, it was that much
like bolt rope so we drunk or coffee and engaged
ourselves in bug races down the table. By try1n
all the bugs out We got some speedy ones And
they was speedy l had one that could trot down
that table-trot, mind y'-like il was Mauae
herself The devil of it was the bloody bug
wouldn't keep in the course between the plates
She'd break fer hole the finish. bet big
money on 'er. though and after loosin 20 bones
by her duckin' out of ii when she was two whole
plate lengths ahead. mind y. | hggered could
head her OF the next time and win anyhow. so
put up so bones-50 good cold plunkers on that
skinny little runt of a bug. and strike me blind!
you ought seen that race. Co. That cussed
little bug slid down that mess table like il was on
ball bearings l headed 'er on at the hole with
a piece OF tack and she clean again the bot
tom board OF the table an butted 'er brains out.
kicked over on 'er back stone dead. But that
race. whew. l raked in the coin from the cap
tain OF the hold Christmasl Well. strike me, fell
lers, That was some Christmas even If We
didn't have any eats"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19

pose the saluting battery and heavy main battery
also, and are manned and fired by the boatsWaln
Of Der Prosit," who is ponderous man in his
official garb and daring in the way he approaches
the ships, whose crews throng the sides ana an
swer the salute with a revolver shot from the
poop.
The saluting takes place before Der Prosit Is
within hailing distance. and all hands have
laugh at the tiny sounds, strongly contrasted IN
their minds with the salute of the big guns when
they are accustomed to hear. Next the boatswah
gets up in the bows and resting one hand almost
on top of the foremost and lifting megaphone
as long as himself to his lips calls out at the top
of his voice. Ship ahoy!" The quartermaster
answers from the bridge, Hello, hello! Der
Prosit?" AYE, aye" the boatswain returns.
Come alongside calls the quartermaster Ihen
the admiral of der Prosit" rises in the stern,
some feet aft of the boatswain in the bow, MS
head on a level with the topmast and bawls out
through his megaphone, "All hands fur-rI sall
With that the crew, consisting OF one man, VINO
also acts in the capacity of foghorn, gets amiu-
ships and climbs the mainmast, which sways 70
and fro as if about to capsize the entire crait,
and pulls down all the sails. the Vessel -
standing to-" he then calls out to the boatswain'
who reports to the admiral over the crews head
who in turn reports to Santa Claus sitting IN the
stern sheets at the tiller. All these orders are
given and carried out In the most solemn man
ner, to the merriment OF the ships crew LOOKING
on from the rail above
The crew OF Der Prosit'' then gets out oars
and pulls alongside while on deck the real poae
SWANS mate pipes eight side boys to stana al tne
head Of the gangway and salute the admiral ana
Santa Claus when they come aboard Inc presF
dent Of the United States only rates six sde Doss
when he comes aboard. while Sanity mas ms
eight, besides his petty officers wniie the pres
dents are only goodlooking apprentice boys As
the argosy draws alongside the boatswan pipes
the long low tune and three short blasts cnar-
acteristic of the coming aboard OF great men,
No less person than the captain OF the snip
meets the admiral of der Prosit, MS Whe'
Sanity, laden with a huge basket full OF presents
the boatswain and the crew, while the ousler
sounds three portentious rufies and tne snip
company, assembled aft stands at attention. III
deed the officers are all present, for they Deliese
IN Sanity as we'll as do the crew. Wnen tne aa-
mirals wife, some fair faced sailor with Man,ia
rope hair and tawdry skirt swings ABOARD noiu-
Ing her train high and exposing generous view
Of red stocking to the eyes of the sailors, greas
laugh is evoked and shout goes up, higner'
higher" or "oh, you Kiddo.'
The boatswain in command OF the crew SHOUTS
TO his one man for. Attention." then puts MN
through series OF gymnastics OF a peeuilaI anu
Intensely funny character The admiral, as u MOI
thoroughly taking in the landscape. htts mugs
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
WANTED
WAS NO LONGER 4 SAFE BED.
Passenger Thought it About Time He
Was Securing Quarters.

A friend was complaining the other
day to Captain Barber, port captain OF
the state pilots, about the crowded
condition Of the steamboat on which
he recently made trip.
-Four in room?H replied Barber.
That's nothing fou should have
travelled in the days OF the gold rush
to California. I remember one trip
out Of New York ne carried more
than 1000 passengers, and if you
would put 80 on that ship today
there'd be q boiler that would reach
Washington and make trouble for
somebody. To show you how crowd
ed il was and what crowded really
meant. three days out from New York
q chap walked up TO the old man and
said:
Captain you really must find me 3
place to sleep
Where in thunder have you been
sleeping until now" inquired the old
man
Wen, says the fellow, You see it's
this way. I've been sleeping on a
sick man, but he's getting better now
and won't stand for it much longer =
New York Sun
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19

pair of binoculars in the form of two quart wine
bottles dashed together, to his eyes and makes
pretense of getting his bearings by scrutinizing
the sailors about him. Presently he reports to
Sanity who has deposited his basket of presents
on the quarter deck, Sir. see we are now in the
Cannbal isles"
Sanity begins then to pick up presents and
read the names aloud, giving them to the crew OF
Der Prosit" and the admirals wife. and even to
the admiral himself, who distributes them accord
ingly. cutting many ridiculous capers.
The presents are of type that bring laughter.
They are gotten up and made by the friends OF
those to whom. they are sent, with an idea to-
wards characterizing the ambition, the within or
the standing jokes that mark the receiver II
the captain is four striper he will probably get
an admirals star, unless he has some other within
by which he is properly known. When he Is
presented with this he can only blush in the
presence of everybody, and take his dose. as
SANITY is supreme on Christmas day
But the greatest gift that Sanity can bestow
falls to the lot of those who, through some mis-
fortune or slip, have come in line for punishment
1t is customary for Sanity to walk boldly up TO
the captain and ask him to 'whitewash the
books. In the face of everybody and on Christ
mas day the captain can not very well refuse this
request although some captains have been seen
to vince and cough before granting the immeas-
urable favor. The report book, in which all pun
ishable acts are entered, is swept clean and the
enjoy all the privileges held by their more for
tunate shipmates who have not fallen before the
multiplicity OF temptations that daily assail the
mano.warsman.
The event which forms background for all this
merriment is the regular big feed" as the sail
ors call It. For the last week this has crept into
their conversation. Pie. turkey and plum dun
are the three great delicacies to the sailors and
they have more respect for them than for the
three graces.
what kind OF q feed is the commissary gonna
hand us?" one sailor asks of another. During this
time of anticipation excitement runs high and the
commissary is a very much respected person. In
fact he is never retired person, for his billet Is
a hard one to fill TO the satisfaction OF every one
who eats at the general mess. There is always
some old tar or other who imagines himself to
he shghted by the quality OF his food, and the
apprentice boys take from him the habit of com
plaining with very little reason on their side.
ouarreIs often result and have to be referred to
the mast" where the first lieutenant first lurl
settles the matter in favor of the commissary. so
that the sailor arranges private settlement with
the eommissary later where the first lun has
nothing to say about it.
The burden of the repast falls naturally upon
the cooks and mess attendants. 1t is far from an
enjoyable arair with them. although they are an
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
His Question.

A club OF eccentric young men had
for one Of their rules that on Tuesday
evenings any man who asked q ques-
ton in the club rooms which he was
unable TO answer himself should pay
. fine Of $40
One evening Mclaughlin asked the
following:
Why doesn't ground squirrel
leave any dir around the top Of his
hole when he digs it,"
After some elaboration Mclaughlin
was called upon to answer his own
question That's easy" said he. the
squirrel starts at the bottom and digs
up"
All very nice" suggested a mem
Der. but how does he get to the bot
tom?-
Well. answered Mclaughlin, that
is your question "-EYerybodys
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
WHY HE GOT NO ANSWER.
Traveller Learns That Policeman Was
stickIer for Etiquette.

The policemen OF Monteyideo are
mostly OF Indian origin They are
always courteous and polite, but they
are great st:cklers for etiquette.
Through ignorance of their customs
a foreigner sometimes finds himself
in an embarrassing situation.
One day last summer a well dressed
American gentleman stepped up 10 q
policeman in the Plaza Independence
and said, in good Spanish:
VIII ron please tell me where the
Gale Rincon is?"
The policeman looked haughtily al
the stranger, and turned away.
The American tried again, with still
more courtesy.
Would you be so extremely kind
as to acoommodatingly tell me where
the Gale Rincon is
To his establishment the policeman
retorted:
You have no manners, sir"
Needless to say, the American was
| quite abashed; but he had 10 find
the Gale Rincon, so he put the ques
/ ton TO a Spanish youth who wa;
standing near The youth answered
cordially, and went some little dis
lance to direct the stranger properly
After the American had thanked him
\ he asked:
why did the policeman refuse e
/ answer met"
Because replied the youth, ''wheI
you addressed him, you neglected u
take OF your hat."-Youth's Com
panion.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
The Way II sounded to Hin.

Two girls were talking over the
wire. Both were discussing what they
should wear TO the Christmas party.
In the midst of this important CONVEX
sation masculine voice interrupted.
asking humbly for number. One OF
the girls became indignant. and scorn-
fully asked:
What PIE do you think you are
on. anyhow"
Well said the man, 4 an not
sure; but. judging from what have
heard, should say was on q clothes
line. "-Gargoyle.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19

bounty that can be gotten to-
gether are used as adorn-
ments and no end of work
is expended on the rig of the
boat to be used, which is
sometimes the wherry and
sometimes the punt.
In order to hold to the ira
ditional custom used in the
time Of Paul Jones and down
through the years, the boat
is rugged like a brig, that is,
with two masts and yard
arms crossing, with jib and
staysail and spanker out
astern. On the fore and aft
er quarters they arrange
large wooden tubes, in which
are inserted small arms.
These "spiggoty guns" COM
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
HE HAD NO SMALL CHANGE.
Farmer Was Acquainted With PeeuE
iarities OF the Bay :.iare.

Nothing can surpass the horse deal
as a topic Of never-failing interest and
pleasant excitement. That recently
described in the Youngstown Tele-
gram was only incipient, but it had a
promising first chapter.
In the hay market one afternoon a
couple Of farmers stopped TO taIk
crops and horses.
Are you in the market for good
horse?" asked one.
Always ready TO dieker." the other
answered.
Ever see that little bay mare Of
mine"
Il think know the critter."
How'd you like to own her? She's
yours at rock-bottom price"
Gathering up his lines preparatory
to leaving the spot, the other farmer
replied:
We'll, John. I'd buy her today, but
I hate TO break dollar"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
les ZLHIY

afabIa lot. The preparation
Of the potatoes is the work
of a dozen men. since they
must be extraordinarily nice.
The "skinners" arrange
themselves astride a bench
in range Of a tub where one
man sits and losses potatoes
continually. The tub is kept
full by another man who
dumps in from a sack carried
down from the upper deck
So a cycle is made. the clean
peeled potatoes going con
stantly into another tub,
which is dragged into the gal
lev and dumped into a great
urn through which water Is
percoIating. These are rims
ed around by another mess
attendant and dumped into
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
Proof Positive.

Freddie has q fortune in politics.
He knows the ropes declared the sd-
miring friend.
Yes; l judge that from the cam
paign cigar he gave me.n-St. Louis
Republic.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
Nothing Like II.

Have you anything to say in ex-
tenuation or your conduct" asked the
Judge.
''Nothin' in extenuation. judge, your
honor" replied the prisoner. but il
you knowed all about this thing you
wouldn't blame me for what / done. :
CHICAGO Record Herald.
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
eettina Suspicious.

my father talked me into taking a
course in domestic science
And how do you like domestic sci
ence?"
We'll, it looks like ordinary kithen
work to me. If my suspicious are con
firmed l shall drop the course and
make father buy me a $50 hat
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19

You inherited quite a nice little
fortune said the lawyer.
Yes" replied the fortunate youth.
Il suppose you VIII pay lot Of
your debts now?a
7 had thought OF it, but / eonclud-
ed to make no change in my manner
Of living. I dent want to be accused
of vulgar display"
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
Looking Ahead.

six months" said the Judge. But
why did you steal a light duck suit2
A heavy overcoat is what you need. :
But I won't need no heavy over
coat six months from now, your
honor. "-CourieroJ Journal
The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1913-12-19
Rebuked.

smith doesn't know a good thing
when he sees IL"
Has he been Stumbling you aga.ns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-19

of the Pastors union held at the First
Methodist church. He also stated that a
tabernacle with seating capacity of
about 6000 persons would be erected on
First avenue between Twenty-second and
Twenty-third streets for the revival
Nearly $500 has been raised since the
last meeting of the union about two weeks
ago. Members of the finance committee
state that little trouble is anticipated IN
raising the necessary amount.
Among the other business which occupied
the attention of the ministers was a dis
cussion on arrangements for the revival
and the appointment Of general arrange
ment committee by DIR. John S. Foster
president of the union.
The committee appointed is composed of
the following: DR. John S. Foster, pastor
of the First Presbyterian church, chair
man; DR. Preston Blake. pastor of the
Southside Baptist church; the Rev W. a.
Backwelder, pastor of the West End
Baptist church; pr l.. c. Branscomb
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-19
EIGHT GOVERNORS OF ALABAMA
12zd-1QAf
No. 51-Second Election of Morgan Death of Mr. Lyon
Edward A. ONeal, Governor
1874-1901

The state elections having passed early
in August 1882 with the defeat of the
discovered greenback faction by more
than two to one, contents forSrepresenta-
tives In Congress. to be decided in Novem-
ber. and for senator to be chosen by the
legislature became unusually interesting.
In the First district Herndon was op-
posed by Carpetbagger Circuit Judge
Luther r. Smith, man of fine native
capacity. The incumbent was reelected
by 2S75 majority. The most famous con-
test was found in the Second district,
where Colonel Herbert was opposed for
reelection by the brilliant political nom
descrlpt Judge Samuel f. Rice. For 10
successive years Judge Rice had been a
consistent member of the republican
party, an}experience of constancy remark
able In his career. Montgomery was the
home OF both candidates, and Montgom-
cry county gave Rice a majority over
Herbert Of 2ss2 Herbert's majority
over Rice in the district nevertheless ex-
ceded 5000. The defeated candidate con-
tested the seat without success before
the House The contestants argument
was fraudulent use of the negro vote
in the interest OF his opponent This
same ground of complaint had become
general in all contested elections, state
and federal, The ground was firm and
undenied 1t remained In active use.
through the second period of ''reconstruc-
ton" from Houston In 1874 until Sanford
in 1901.
In the Third district Colonel Oates de-
feated Mullen SO easily that small inter-
est attached to their rivalry.
In the Fourth district the situation was
unusual We have seen that few days
before Congress adjourned July, 1882, the
contest between General Shelley and j.
9. Smith was thrown out and the seat
from this district declared vacant. Gov
ernor ONeal ordered a special election on
the regular election day in November to
fill the vacancy. Shelley declared HIM
self candidate and defeated John w.
Jones. Shelley was also the nominee of
his party at that election for the Forty
seventh Congress, to meet In December.
1888 He defeated for that office Judge
George II. Craig, republican.
In the Fifth district Thomas Williams
was reelected over H. r. Mccoy and in
the Sixth Goldsmith W. Hewitt was re-
elected over ]. n. Carpenter, greenback-
er. General F'orney again defeated Ar
thur Bingham, republican, in the Seventh.
In the Eighth district the democrats in
convention were at loss to find can
didate of sufficient strength to oppose
the brilliant young republican and Con-
federate captain, David ID. Shelby OF
Huntsvile In dernier resort and with
out his consent, they nominated ex-Sena-
ator Luke Pryor of Athens. who was sue
cessful. In this district special elec-
ton for the then expiring Congress was
ordered by Governor O'Neal for Decem-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-19
CAMPAIGN TO RAISE
MONEY FOR BOOKS
Action Decided On at Meeting of Lii
brary Board-Will Be Started
in Week or HwO

campaign to raise money to buy
books for the public Libraries of the
city will be started probably within the
next week or two. At meeting OF the
library board yesterday in the Central
library rooms action was taken by
which an address will be published and
given circulation outlining the tenta-
tive situation of the library system at
the present time, the address to be in
the shape of a report of the committee
on information of which DR.. T.. ID. Parke
is chairman.
The money to be raised by the cam
Ipaign will go for books only while the
maintenance of the libraries of the city
will be left to the city officials.
other action taken by the board was
the election of Mrs. Edwards of Ems
ley to take the place of Miss Thomp-
son, whose resignation had made a
vancancy at that place. A plan by
which the board would take over the
libraries of the public schools was sub
mitted by L. f. Smith, the member from
Fountain Heights, but n oaction was
taken on it.