Fergus County Democrat., 1913-08-19
Luke McLuke SAYS

a condition which enables a man to
go into saloon on Sunday and get
his skin full as long as he drinks it
in the place, but which prohibits him
from bringing his wife glass of beer
home in bucket. Maybe the honest
working man will do lot of thinking
when they ask him to vote for some
more referendum tOmfOolery.
A girl doesn't have to be blonde
to be lightheaded.
| When they are counting one chair is
too big for them. But after they are
married six-roOm house seems crowd
ed all the time.
| Love can take bright red head and
make it look like golden halo when
the right girl wears it.
| All men are more or less towards.
But most of us manage to hide our
yellow streaks and bluff our way
through.
There are penalties that go with sue
cess. Some of these days, when the
women get into politics, they will erect
a national monument to the man who
invented peroxide.
A woman will always shove over to
make room for man in a crowded
street car. But let another woman try
to horn in and occupy the vacant
space and the temperature goes down
70 degrees.
When a man is left alone with a
homely girl and doesn't dare tell how
handsome she is he can always COM
promise by telling her she has soulful
eyes.
What has become of the old
fashioned girl who used to get bed
quilts for wedding presents?
1t is a mighty ugly woman who
doesn't believe that some man is stuck
on her.
Virtue used to be it's own reward.
But these days half dozen men and
women in each town get together, cor
ner the supply, secure trademark,
post the premises and freeze out the
Common Rabble.
A good scout is man who tells
other people what fine fellow you
are.
A girl knows that her fellow is go
ing to be good provider when they
are married. because he is the best
two-stepper in the neighborhood.
We all use the loud pedal when II
is our turn to talk But we get sore
If the other takers do not use the soft
pedal.
Every time mother indignates and
wishes that she had been born a man
father always agrees with her.
1t Is always mighty pleasant to meet
a man who hates the same man yor
hate.
The school of experience is a pretty
bum alma mater. But the graduate.
always take of their hats when they
think of her.
II woman had sense of humor sh,
wouldn't want to be humored all tn,
time.
Father always calls spade spad'
when he is asked to dig up.
Never judge the Importance of any
thing by the fuss a girl makes over II
A man who hasn't nerve enough t.
60 up in an aeroplane will take ia
girl out in canoe and think nothin
Of it.
It is hard to start the day right whe
your wife tells you that you talked i
Iyour sleep all night.
It is funny how many important Ell
gagements we can think of when it
our turn to treat.
This would be a better world
there were more spelling books an
less sheet music in our homes.
A man may admit that his watch
WAOn6s UuI uc IL U0L tu0I HIS Iu0IuOU
eter is the only correct one in town.
Every ice man wonders why wome
are called the "fair'' sex.
Never judge woman's appetite b
her company manners. Wait until sh
gets home and gets that tight cors,
off and then watch her feed.
What has become of the oil
fashioned woman who used to fill til
lamps every afternoon?
The days work looks mighty big
the morning. But in the evening aft
it is done you can hardly notice
when you look back.
Some men are SO busy braggir
about their ancestors that they car
find job.
A woman often does it. But did "
ever hear of a man wearing out 9
easy chair at home?
The man who has the beer wage
stop at his house twice a week has
supreme contempt for his low-brows
neighbors who rush the can.
After a boy finds out that San
Claus is a joke he begins to lose fai