The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1913-03-13
Grip and Things.

are sneezing, coughing and snorting
| like a mustang. DR.. La Grippe, the
originator of this disease, had mighty
little to do when he bequested this
head-aching, bone-breaking, nerve
shaking, misunderstanding disorder,
that bears his name And what a
taste it leaves in a fellows mouth,
as bad fully as the taste drug drum
mer put into the mouth of a farmer.
A crowd was waiting for train. In
the waiting-room was a drug drum
mer. and an old farmer. who, by the
way, was asleep, with his mouth
wide open. The drummer opened his
sample-case, took out a pill of asa
foetida and dropped it into the old
mans mouth. When he awoke the
asafoetida had melted, and Of course
the taste was awful. The old man
looked around and said: By grab,
I must be sick. l never, in all my life,
had such an ALFRED taste in my
mouth. Dang if 1 amt as bilious as
a goat"
A clever young friend writes us
that he is making good progress with
his girl, says he has her so tame till
she will sit on his lap! We are not
taking time to write but are wiring
him to send us his tanning recipe.
Our lap is more capacious than his,
for he is duck-legged, Apropos of
duck-legged people, reminds us OF
something that happened in the long
ago, a duck-legged man married a
gannet-legged woman, one day fam
lily row was up and ended in fight,
the wife welded shingle and she
hit the spot every pop, the poor little
duch-legged husband was forced to
flee, his irate wife was in hot pur-
suit, welding the shingle, a briar
patch was near, and into it the truant
husband plunged, the wife couldn t
follow, but as did the valiant Scots,
the followers of Bruce, casting his
brave heart among the foes, she cast
her shingle, and the language she
employed was not the Scottish slogan,
but in her awful fury exclaimed:
GO! you duck-legged son of SOW!
I'll get you bye and bye
Some time ago bright boy in a
nearby town saw lovely young lady
friend of ours, and he asked us if we
would take him out to call on the
young lady, but first ask her if he
could call, the incident was forgotten
by us, but when we went to town, the
boy, with several of his pals, came to
us and wanted to know what the
young lady had to say, now it was
cruel but the chance for a joke was
ripe, he asked me what the young
lady had to say. L told him that the
young lady said he could come, but
two things he must bring with him,
That's O. K" said the boy, eve got
the money, and 1 can get the goods,
what are they?"
"A cradle and a suck-bottle! said
II.
The boy wilted as Jonah's goprd
vine and fed. His pals raised such
a whoop till the police came our way
to restore order. Every time that boy
sees me he begs me to get off some
thing on his pals
Some days ago 1 was with a sweet
cousin and she says: Il want you to
give me full history of the battle of
Rivers's Bridge. My sweetheart is
coming, and I want to take him over
the battle field and give him history
of the fight So told her that on
that fated day the Federal forces
were under the command of Col. Lo-
gan, and that when he had driven the
Confederates from the field that he
was brevetted Brigadier General,
known as BLACK Jack" Logan, that
he was later on man high up in poll
tics, was nominated for vice-president
with James G.. Blaine, whom Bob In
gersoll dubbed "The Plumed Knight y
That Gen. w. T. Sherman was
at the head of the Union Army op-
Grating from Atlanta to the sea, that
all the Federal soldiers killed here
were taken to Beaufort and buried
in the national cemetery there. That
the Confederates were commanded by
Gen. Wheeler, whose army was made
up mostly of Texans and Georgians,
and were forced, by a far superior
army, to move on. That later on Gen.
Wheeler was made a Brigadier Gen
eral in the Uuion Army, and served
with gallantry in Cuba, and by the
side of Roosevelt, led his former foes
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