The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-10-22

Now. Tommy. said the Sunda,
school teacher. suppose o had two
apples and You gave another hoy his
choice of them. You would tell him
1o take the largest n wouldn't you -
No. ma'am." said Tommy prompt.
Why. Tommy" exclaimed tn.
teacher in shocked surprise. "vVh,
nor"
Well" said Tommy. lin dis bunch
it wouldn't he necessary to tell him
dnt.'
Once an old Scotch weather proplle,
At Whittinghamo informed MIR. Eal-
four that Its saun to rain seventy.
w days. sir"
Come. come" said the statesman,
surely the world was entirely flooded
in forty days"
AYE. y was the response. but
the ward wasna sac weel drained as
it is noo."
One evening. just al dusk, a man
drove through the village with a
handsome car equipped with all the
modern devices. Hardly had he pro.
ceeded a square before a constable
large in the vista. See here,
young %feller," exclaimed the official.
you will have to jump out and light
up Your lamps"
All right, old pal" cheerily an
swered the motorist. Gust as YOU say
about it,"
With this he touched a button. and
instantly the powerful light CLEANED
forth. For q moment the consta Bile
was stunned. 1t was his first expert.
cnce with electric lights in an auto
mobile. Eut he recovered.
SAY. young Teller" he exclaimed.
moving nearer the car. don't try to
get gay with me. When I tell Won to
light. Your lamps. I mean for you to
step on: and light EN-"
My dear said Mr.. Eickers to his
wife. Il saw in the papers today a de-
clslon of a Virginia. court that the
wife may. in ono Cases, he the head
Of the family"
John Henry" replied Mrs. Bickers,
the courts are sometimes slow in
finding out things
a society woman, who was passing
tho summer in the country, motored
over to a neighboring farm one morn
ing to call on the farmer and his
VIE, with whom she had become ac.
aualnted the previous.
I hear that your daughter Emily
has gone to Europe? % said the caller
"1a-as," drawled the old farmer.
shes been crazy to go ever since she
left school and more so than ever
n o wuz here last year and
talked SO much bout 1t. These here
female colleges dew put ideas intew
girls, heads. Her NAV an ME can't
calc-late why she should be SO set to
20 to furrup. She don't know a soul
thar" SUI
Of affection?" asked the school each
CIR Of the little girl.
"ieth, ma'am: almotht alwayth."
Good" said the teacher. land
now turning to a little boy. tell me
what animal has the greatest natural
fondness for man."
The small boy Considered CAREFUL,
and finally answered.: Woman"
MIS-. Evans was making a call IN
Mrs. Francis. and they were eniov,nr
a chat about ON of their neiphhors
Mrs. Green" said the hostess, ..is
belief" y "er
Indeed" replied the caller won.
deringl$: and what is her beliefo"
Why continued the hostess" she
believes she ran wear q No. 3 sine nm
n No. 6 foot" '"'e ''
The topic at a. recent banu,e. firm.
ed TO the rising generation. WIEN
Governor John NJ. Haines recalled how
littie Johnny rather ungallantly classi.
''ea inc gentle sex Of the Indian trit,es
Inc incident happened in a school
one afternoon when the legson Was IN
the American Indian and the +escha,
~ II any little boy or girl could
IeIl her what the leaders Of the va
flous tribes We're caleed.
They are called chiefs." nron,nt,,
announced a bright little girl in ~
Spouse to the question. =
Correct!" said the teacher, smi,.
ing approringly. Now. then, car
n one Of o tell INC what .ho NJ
men of the Indian tribes are calleds >.
FOR o. moment there was silence
Every pupil in the class was thinLin.
hard. Finally little johnny Trown.,
hand shot up. t'""
We'll. Johnny" said the teacher
what are the women of the fndi.,
tribes called?" "''ah
Miss Chiefs" proudly answered
He is a wise young mar who ouiet.
~ a muffler to the screamins
q M nWnASs, -