New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-10-04
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

John. why YOU still wearing that last years
tweed hat? Why don't you buy new one?'
Because. Mary, II you really want TO know, your
sex has bought up every tweed hat in New York Of
my size. went into at least dozen stores, only to
find that they were out Of ali rs and larger sizes,
except those of very sombre hue. which wouldn't
wear. The clerk told me that women wear these
hats for outing"
II bought one myself. John. and I think 1t mean
that you men can get these hats for So % when We
have to. pay SO and more for them"
MISUNDERSTANDING has always been a curse to me.
Buggins-lIow do you figure that out?
Muggins-I am always making fool OF myself
just to please some woman.-Phadephia Record
a gentleman Of antiquarian tendencies who loved
the drama of another day and another school was
lured 10 New York and inveiged into theatre
where much discussed play dealing with socio-
logical problems being performed. lie stuck it
out TO the end. and when he was asked to give his
opinion the work he said: Il think that over the
door OF the theatre there might we'll be hung of
the old English inn signs. Entertainment for man
and beast"
you say that this small public building cost Sl6O,-
OOOi Isn't that eXorbtant?
mo. no. If you knew the gang that placed the
contract you'd think 1t was mighty cheap.'-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Charles T. White. Tax Commissioner Of New
which he considers an example OF humorous mis-
understanding. Mr.. White published little paper
at Hancock in Delaware County. and one OF his
stanchest supporters was man who never would
admit ne was putting the weight Of years. The
old fellow came in to see Mr.. White one day. and
after strutting about the office boasting of his
proves with the plough and his ability to shoot
quail. he drew the editor over to corner and un-
bosomed himself thus Now. Mr.. White. you are
the kindest man ever knew and want to ask you
to do me a favor. There's nothing the matter with
my eyes, but 1t occurred to me that I'd like your
paper better than ever If when you are running 'em
off you'd print mine In little larger type than the
rest"
Henry, it says here that Mr. Jackson pelted the
pill for three sacks. What does it mean?
Good heavens, Mary, can't you understand plain
English? II means that he slugged the sphere safe
and landed on the third pillow."-Chcaso Record
Herald.
Say young fellow if you don't behave I'll take
your tobacco away" shouted an irate Texan at a
fresh" hotel clerk the other night Noticing smile
the face Of Of the bystanders, the Texan eX-
planned: Il spose you folks up here don't know
what that means. but down where come from 1t
certainly means a whole lot You can beat a fellow
up and even shoot hole In his leg and he will take
it in the philosophic way that most Texans have
But il you take his tobacco away, why-well, it's
about the meanest thing you can do to him. and
also the worst.
Il understand burglars broke into your house
while you were away the other night and ransacked
the place
Yes and they smptied every drawer in the
house"
What did your wife say when she saw the up
heaval?"
Burglars never occurred to her. She Just thought
I'd been looking for my shirt studs "-Detroit Free