davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26
SLIPS OF THE TONGUE
Even tho Dioni6sd English Butler caa
Go Astray at Times-

Go Astray at Timea-
A little story which has just
found its way across the Atlantic
from an English country house tells
Of the recent slip made by a new
and nervous butler in serving his
master, duke, at the luncheon ta-
BILE. Quiet, respectful and assidu-
Gus, he proffered a dish with the in
sinuating query:
"Cold grace, your grouse?"
The slip is so obviously nat
urai one that doubtless the tale 10
true. Thus far it is also unchal-
lenged as new, although probably
BY the time it has made the full
round of the press somebody will
discover that in its original form
It was an Athenian ""chestnut" in
the days of Socrates.
An anecdote which at least be-
longs to the same family used to be
laughed over in early Victorian
drawing rooms.
Among the royalties. great and
little, who came to London fox the
young queens coronation there
was a certain small, dried up, gray
haired, bright eyed, brisk little old
reigning prince Of tiny principsi-
ty. He was faraway cousin to an
Irish duke, whose estates in Ire
land he visited before returning.
For his entertainment village cel-
ebration was arranged. with games
and dances, and especially Irish jig'
and clog dances.
The gay old prince was delight
ed. He came himself of race f.
nous for its dancing. He still pos.
sessed a good eye, quick ear and
a light foot. That same evening in
the great hall of the castle. to The
whistling of his hosts son, he en-
deavored to emulate some Of tha
feats he had seen.
The dukes solemn English but.
ler was present, and his horror d
such unroyal antics was reflected IN
his eyes. The prince perceived j,
and, shooting a sudden fore6nge1
at him, demanded imperiously
'eEh! Tell me, then, what yor
think Of my dancingp
Discreet and dignifed, but Aur'
ried inwardly, the buffers mannel
was perfect, but his tongue betray'
ed him. He answered:
"Your royal spryness is certain
ly Ugh"
There wss . shout OF laughter
and the duke, Nth assumed anger
cried sternly: "Whst. Do you dar'
to insinuste that <ke prince j. 1ele
vated-that his Wholly b due 4
any other good Apirits than hi
own /"
Before syoh en- secusstion th
poor buffers last remnant At com
posure vanished, md, turning Wild
", with clasped hands, from hi
highness to his grace, he protests'
earnestly:
"No, / never, sir, your royal gray
ness; no, l never, sir, your icsF-
Youths Companion.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26

Whoever knows anything abouv
The small boy and his pride In hin
first pair Of trousers will recognize
the trutA of q story the Philsdel-
phis Ledger prints.
Tommy was ct Sunday school In
his first "reAl"slothes. A picture
Of . lot of httlt angels was before
tho class, and The teacher ssked
Tommy if he would not Like to be
one.
~No, ra'sm," replied Tommy
after inspecting the picture.
mot want to be an spgsl, Tom
myw reproached Ae tasc1sr. why
npk p ~ gs.thea 'h'asI
"Cause I'd have % Gvs up -
E1ss4T .sia Teass ss&l
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26
Nailed 10 q ooose's EGG.

A Hungarian blacksmith recently
ent as a present TO the emperor OF
Austria horseshoe, pair of pinch
rs, file and a knife, all In
,eniously nailed to a goose's egg
without the egg being broken. The
,r reror sent in return his photo
raph. Q gold medal and 30 dsnats.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26
4 STUDENT Nxe.


csaseirsey Of oIisSes That Pvt NE
Profssser IN . Panic.
Professor Elias Loornis fer many
years occupied the chair Of sstrOno-
my at Yale and was the author OF
the well known series Of mathemat-
ical text books.
Professor Loomis repeated each
year to the junior class a course Of
lectures on physics. Ths lectures
were illustrated by experiments,
and in one on compressed air he
explained the principle Of the we'll
known air gun.
The students of each succeeding
class as they entered the room for
this particular lecture found ON the
side of the room remote from the
platform a small target. Altar ex-
planning the operation Of the gun
Profes or .oomiS was in the. habit
of landing three Of its projsstiles
with mathematical accuracy In the
center of the bullseye.
The pro aSsor was always sp-
plauded for this feat, ~ hL grim
face, covered by . tigh&H drawn
skin of parchment hue. meier shov-
ed the slightest sign Of qualification
or recognition Of any kind. To him
Il was apparently only q scientific
experiment to be exactly demon
Otrsted.
Ono class Of Juniors, hovsver.,
vAo had learned Of the immsmorial,
Incident from tho then ssnion, st-
tempted q little expsYimSnt Of
their own, the subject bsins mstAs-
mstical and scientific AumAn na-
ture.
Three pufs from the air gun. and.
although the students saw thst tho
bullseye vas perforated - usual.
there ves not Q sound Of ap3asusA
Professor Loomis looked . nsmsnt
st the class in Z startled way. then
1t tho target, ADD thea, With . de-
gree Of emotion he he'd never be-
fore shown, exclaimed,
"Didnt IL hti Didn't Il hite
Didn't it hi4r
/ A roar Of lsuehAf, followed By
even more than the usual applause.
sAowed the professor that hs had
not lost his mathematical Accuracy.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26

stains from leather are renewed
By the use Of paraffin. 1t Likewise
gives a brilliant polish. To remove
sugar and sirlyp s.-ns wash the
stained part xith warm water with
out. soap, then rub with ammonis
diluted with warm water. 1t D.
washable, - diluted alcohok
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26
JHO[ III UUUnIn
All Four For One Year, a
$4 value for only
So.

In this offer yon get the
best County paper-the best
Weekly Farm Paper--a
twice-a-month Magazine de-
voted to Fruit and Vegeta-
BILE Growing and a Maga-
zine for the Home. We can
not guarantee this offer any
length of time, so advise
you to take advantage of it
now. Send your Order to-
day. Your Subscription may
be new or a renewal to any
of the four publications.
Send remittance by personal
check, moneyorder, or bank
draft. Remember you get
them all One Full Year. . .,.r ~
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26
Caught In tks Rain.

~Oh. isn't IL ioilyr' said Dicky - oo92y.
'T wonder why people complain.
n we are together. whs1 Oattass ~
weather. .
love to be out In the No. -stF<s
mo need of orony.'" - psa,v&
Dolly:
Were not made Of sursr - saitI
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26

Were not made Of sussr - s.iti
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-09-26

indiana staie LiLrar-
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
klM0N0 SLEEVE STILL USED
Style Which Has Much to Recommend
It Has Net by Any Means Lost
Its Popularity.

The very newest evening gowns
show the kimono sleeve more often
than not. On heavier gowns there is
usually an armhole, even though low
in cut, but for lace and chiffon and all
the sheer materials the kimono cut
is still considered most graceful. In
the silk gowns the sleeve Is set in
sometimes with tiny frill or with
cord or q bit of insertion. The arm.
hole may be large or small, round OF
oval. or square cornered. With these
fancy arrangements of the armhole
the shoulders is always long. Some.
times the sleeve comes from an In.
side guimpe and is not attached at ali
to the waist itself. There are many
charming variations on this idea. Din
ner gowns are made, in some in.
stances. with a square opening at the
neck In front and high at the back.
This sounds old-fashioned, but it is
quite new. nevertheless. The cut OF
the neck Is often square this year,
and many models will be seen with the
square back as well; but one must be
assured Of good shoulders flrst-for
It is a trying shape. The trains are
mostly pointed and trail after one in
Q negligent sort OF fashion, as il
not fully determine which direction
to follow.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
NEWEST AFTERNOON TEA FAD
ingenious Girl Devised somethIna
That Really Seems to Fiji Want
That Has Long Been Felt.

The young mistress Of kitchen
cite apartment is In the habit Of Civ.
ing small weekly afternoon tea. Re
Gently at one of them her friends ex-
claimed in surprise at the sight of the
tea table. In place Of the copper ket-
tie and Japanese teapot there stood.
solemn, but not ungainly, two decora-
tive bottles wreathed in flowers.
Eyes," said the hostess, in answer
to her guests inquiring looks. There
is tea with tea leaves Of course in
one and hot boiling water in the 9th
err. 1t seemed to me that I always
had to put In more alcohol in the lamp
at the very moment when I was listen
ing to the most interesting bit Of COS
sip.
Then you remember how that care
less Carrie. gesticulating as she al
ways does when she tells story, sent
a blue pickering flames from the alco-
hol lamp almost close to lace frill.
These bottles receive the tea and wa
ter at the required temperature and
keep them warm, have learned to
pour the contents out quite skilfully. =
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Transitory Fame.

Seems funny what q fuss they
make over these footoball heroes" said
the fat man with the whiskers.
"Oh, don't know" replied the
other man. 1T is q form OF fame
that must cling to man for many
years."
do you think so?" said the fat
man. 'Well. my name il Grabstock
Does that suggest anything to your
..N-no." a
sAnd yet" said the fat man. I'm
the phenomenon who ran the whole
length Of the field for a touchdown
In 1903-the most brilliant football
feat Of all times. What?"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Amber In Vogue.

Amber 1ewelry is in vogue this win
ter. owing to the fact that touches of
amber shaded materials have an
peared on many OF the smart gowns.
Amber buckles. necklaces, bracelets
and earrings are being sold at nov
city shops and new uses are being de-
vised for old amber ornaments. Odd
beads can be converted into long ear
rings and the proverbial amber cross
can be worn on narrow black rib
bon or at the end Of a gold chain.
Amber combs, once popular, are
among the novelties shown at one ex-
elusive shop. The long strings of
beads. If Of the small variety, are sug-
gested for lorgnettes. But no matter
what the amber trinkets happen to be,
they just can be put to good use and
give just the smart note of color that
fashion DEGREES must appear some
where about. the costume.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
MERELY SLAPPED HER FACE
After investigation Lawyer Learns
Husband "Happened to Have
FIatiron In His Hand.D

A young lawyer in southern town
was sitting in his Office one day when
an old negro who had belonged to the
lawyers father came in and hailed
him, says the Saturday Evening Post
"Mistah Campbell" he said, Use
done got in little mess count Of my
ole oman, an wants you. please sub.
to come long over to do cotehouse
and fix it up fur me. It don't mount
to nothin, but dey Is talkin' bout
swearin' out writ and sendin' de
constables after me-"
What's the matterf asked the law
yer.
well, subj" said the old man. ''you
know wut aggervatin' niger oman
dat wife o. mine is? Dis mawnin' at
breakfus' she kept on argufyin' and
'sputtin' wild me cntell up an slap
ped her. OATS all 1t is; des slapped
her iongside de haid once't to correct
her"
Leaving the old man in his office,
the lawyer crossed to the courthouse
He found that the woman was in a
hospital, reported as dangerously in
5ured and that a charge Of assault with
intent to kill had been lodged against
the husband. He hurried back.
Nov, Uncle Ike" he said. IL you
want me to defend you, you've got to
tell me the truth about this whole az
fair. They say your wife is badly
hurt-she may not get well. What
did YOU do to herr"
'Mistah Campbell" protested the
old man. II done tole you de truth
! des up and slapped dat oman along
side de haid wild my hand"
with your hand?"
Eyes. sub"
"Was there anything In your hand?"
We'll. sub. since you mentions it.
said the accused, Il does seem to re-
call dat I happened to be holdin' q
datiron in my hand at de time"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
TROUBLE AT W0MAM's CLUE


'sMy husband did the foolishest
thing this morning you ever heard Of.
When he got up he put on his shirt
with one sleeve right side out and the
other wrong side out"
Zone sleeve wrong side out and the
otherwhy Mrs. Jipes, he couldn't
possibly have done such a thing as
that
why not?'
tits a physical impossibility.
"But saw him do it,"
you thought you did, but"
well, like that! Dispute my word,
do you? I'll let You know
Say. Mrs. Glimmer. do you think
anybody could put on shirt with one
sleeve right side out and the other
wrong side out?"
ssHe might If 1t was made that way;
not otherwise"
'sWhat did tell you. Mrs. il"
THAT doesn't settle it, Mrs. Skim
merhorn. Say. Mrs. Bilby. do you see
anything absurd in the idea that a
man can put his shirt on with one
sleeve wrong side out and the other
right side out?"
Eyes"
Il don't see how he could. Mrs.
Jipes."
well, saw my husband do It.
Mrs. Carstone. you believe me. don't
your"
"Of course do. There's nothing
absurd about that
There! Perhaps you'll
"That doesn't decide it. Look here,
Mrs. Hankins, did you ever see any
body wearing shirt with one sleeve
right side out and the other wrong
side out?'
II never did. Mrs. Skimmerhorn.
but If Mrs. Jipes says 80 I've no rea-
son to-"
did you. Mrs. Winters?"
No, nor anybody else"
$50! Think I'm telling falsehood.
do your
Il didn't say so, Mrs. Jipes. but it's
90 perfectly absurd. 50 manifestly i'm
possible. that"
"Cat! III"
(Here the gavel fell.)
Ladies, II you please. we win re-
sumo the consideration of the ques-
ton pertaining to changing the hour
of meeting, A motion win be in or
der"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

A very noticeable feature with all
model coats direct from Paris is the
smallness Of the revers and in many
instances their entire absence. Pleat-
ed skirts are generally In evidence,
even when made Of thick materials,
and with robes for day or evening
wear composed OF soft wolfe and such
like fabrics we find the old accor-
dion pleating very popular.
Large checks and plaids, somewhat
startling in character. are now max
ing their appearance, but these, when
blended with plain colors, make de-
cidedly distinguished looking cos
tunes. They can. however. only be
successfully worn by tall women pos
sessing slender figures. otherwise the
wearer will attract attention without
commanding admiration.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

Just how long time win elapse
before fur-bearing animals are wiped
or the face Of the earth is a peril
nent question. For furs are becoming
more and more luxurious, more and
more extravagaHtly used. with the re-
currence Of winter. There seems no
limit to the demand.
Great results are accomplished with
moleskin, squirrel and above all musk
rat. The prolific rabbit supplies many
a pelt which Is changed by the furrier
into something new and strange past
all recognition.
Luxurious coats and furs from
French establishments are pictured
here. Above everything else women
appear to love the luxury Of rich furs.
They are alluringly beautiful and SO
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
What She Meant.

$50 you think smoke too much p
he asks just to keep up converse
ton that seemed to be languishing.
Not at ALL" she answered, not
very skillfully concealing yawn.
you said you thought So"
Pardon me. don't think you are
smoking too much"
Didn't you say that I'd die II I
didn't cut it down."
Eyes, that's what / said"
It took him a long time to get It,
and then he was quite angry.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

comfortable! They are constantly adj
vancing in price. Really good furs.
therefore. IL well cared for, win prove
q good investment.
There is nothing which is quite so
cleyerly initiated (unless it is pre-
cious stones) as furs. Besides the fur
riers the manufacturers of pushes
have made limitations Of fur in plush
that will make one look closely twice
ito be sure they are not the real thing.
They are much worn by fashionable
people and are made up as elaborate
ly as real furs. When bought ready
made they must be conceded to be
expensive. They may be made at
home with a modest expenditure OF
money and time.
JULIA 6oTToMLEY.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Hinh Tina.

''rhis il some more Of the work OF
them blamed monopolists. said Ira
Oatley as he hung his trousers over
the foot OF the bed.
What do you meant" his wife
asked.
Look at that card. It says. Don't
blow out the gas. I s'pose they want
to git us to let 1t burn all night, and
then they'll charge US fer 1t when
we settle our bill in the mornin'. It's
about time we was havin' q change
Of administration in this country"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Simple GOWN.

A simple and giriish gown Is made
Of soft white chiffon trimmed with
garlands Of green satin leaves. APP
pliQued to the bodice and skirt in Dor
der fashion. These garlands outline
the round neck of the bodice, the high
waist line in the form of girdle and
the edge Of draped tunic where it is
caught up with green satin bow. The
sleeves are also caught up with satin
bow.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
HOW She struck Him.

"Oh, yes. know Mrs. Wadleigh. I
saw her last night and she struck
me as"
II know what you were going to
say. She struck you as being about
the prettiest woman in this town"
mo. that wasn't 1t exactly. She
struck me as was trying to get
across the street In front Of her new
electric"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Modern Adventure.

Il was stopped on the street last
night and invited into the house of
perfect stranger"
"Ah, an Arabian Nights adventure.
What was the outcome of It ALP
Nothing hazardous. They simply
had to have q fourth man to play
auction bridge"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
The UplIft.

I'VE all feel the yearning for bet
ter things sometimes remarked Mr..
Wombat.
I'm glad to hear you say that, =
responded Mr. Wombat Now you
viii understand me when I tell you
that positively must have a willow
plume"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

How do you stand on the income
tax question:"
my motto is this: Give me the in
comes of the people and l care not
Vho csllects their taxes
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
Something 70 nreal,.

"The cook threatens to leave TO-
morrow"
I'VE must interest her"
How can we interest herr
It'll have q new set Of china sent
home" i
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
black waists.

Black waists are sometimes worn
with colored suits trimmed with
black
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
hIa POLICY

"a doctor works on the reciprocity
plan"
How so?"
Whenever he pays visits. he makes
visits pay him."
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24
MOI suIted

You refused the earl. Amalie.
dear?"
Young widow-He's too old for me.
But his title?"
that's too new for met"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

~ mdh6 you love me. IT.
Vincent Blaine was at the door He
had entered the house quietly and
now, seeing the sudden light In
Mary's eyes, hearing the cry sudden
" suppressed into low appeal, Hall
turned, to see Blaine advancing upon
him with clenched fists
What's tho matter with your" Hall
shouted. Don't you lay finger on
me. I've as much right to go court
ing as you have He caught up q
chair and placed himself in an atti-
tude Of defense
Blaine did not strike him, for Hall
was q much smaller man. Instead, he
quietly wrenched the chair from his
grasp and. taking his shoulders in a
firm grasp, shook him backward and
forward till the mans head wagged
foolishly upon his shoulders. Then
he released him and sent him spin
ming across the room. All the while
he did not utter word.
Hamilton Hall fell down, rose up,
and edged toward the door. There
he halted. He shook his first, began.
stamrnering and suddenly. inarticulate
with fury, turned and hurried out Of
the room.
There goes Travers House." muir
INJURED Mary. as she nestled into her
lovers arms
What do you mean?" asked Blaine.
grimly. And Mary told him.
Vincent, DEAR" she said presently.
Eve have hard fight before US.
Whether he has the power or not to
take our home away. he has money
enough to make things hard for US.
Vincent, she added, softly. do you
remember saying that you would not
marry me and come to live here be-
cause 1t was your task to make a
home for me? And as l couldn't leave
my aunt that has meant an indefinite
separation. But now that we must
fight shoulder to shoulder help me
out, Vincent"
He pressed her In his arms.
"When?" he asked, kissing her.
Next month" she whispered back.
But long before the date set for
their marriage arrived Hamilton Hall
had begun his legal battle. And
though it IL no easy matter to prove
such claim, though Blaine fought
him tooth and nail, while old Miss
Travers, in blissful ignorance, sat in
her room preparing the wedding gar
ments, before the month was ended
Hall seemed to be the victor. Only
one thing was inexplicable; his law
yer had refused to act for him and he
had procured another, q sharp fellow
of more brains than reputation.
We're at the end. Mary" said
Blaine, despairingly. We can't get
judge to grant stay. The case is
scheduled for next Tuesday. and
we've no answer to make. We'd bet
ter pack"
THAT means death sentence to
Aunt Sidonia," answered Mary, weep
ing.
BY the way. did tell you I've got
new lawyer" asked Blaine present
ly. HE used to be partner Of old
Fingall4the man who acted for Mr..
Merritt SO many years. He wants as
to attend conference the day before
the trial, to be held in his Offices.
He seems to have a card up his
sleeve. I'll call for you on Monday at
nine."
Blaine called for Mary and took her
to the lawyers office In a cab. There
they met Hall with his attorney, and
the hve seated themselves around the
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-01-24

Reggy Bluff was going to ask
you to go sleighing today. but last
nights rain has thawed the roads.
Peggy Quick Oh! don't doubt
shall enjoy the auto ride quite as well.