The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-09
ON THE SPUR
or THE AOMENT
By ROY K. MOULTON.

Growing Old.
| It seems but yesterday when 7
| Was full of pep and was young and spry.
I worked all day and L danced all night,
a An II / got up feeling cut Of sight:
My head feels dull and my joints all
squeak:
I've not changed much in my form OF
But I can't bat round with the old-tizme
The solemn truth is impressed on me-
I'm not as young as L used to be.
1t seems but yesterday when 1
Was round and hittin' the spots called
high:
'Tis no time since I was a gay young
But now I can't somehow make the grade.
Let others go out and make the speed,
| d rather sit home and smoke and read.
l do not yearn for the first row seat
At the musical shows. but more dis
Greet.
And so, it is very plain to see,
I'm not as young al l used to be.
And row a young buster calls me pop
And another sign is on hand. Gee whiz,
little touch of the rheumatic.
!. ow any old color of tie will do,
I'm wearing chest protector, too.
I've lost all love for the rowdy-dow
I'm playing cribbage and checkers now.
The women's fashions are naugnt to me,
l m not as young as l used to be.
The Diary of Bonehead.
Il will not be home to dinner tonight,
said to my wife over the telephone.
Why not?'' she asked.
Il must stay downtown for meeting of
our board of directors
old stuff she replied. You'll have
to come across with something better than
that"
We'll, Jones wanted me to stay down
town to dinner with him and talk over
business amtter."
Come again, ANGEL snapped my wife
Mr. Jones just went by on his way
I was on hand Immediately with al
other excuse. No man should go to the
telephone, with less than five.
To tell you truth, wife | have got 20
stay down town and go to the meet an
aunt who is going through on the train
NJ, LIE li.ff puo!1shed that one in 1856. said
for dinner this evening and 1 will expect
you home in thirty minutes. If you don't
Will come down after you"
Moral; When in doubt, don't telephone.
According to Uncle Abner.
Hank Tumms sat in a poker game five
hours last night and the only pair he had
in all that time was ad f pair Of
ford to play some other night.
They have invented all sorts of auto
horns excepting kind that sounds sooth-
ing to the ear.
Our idee of elastic currency is currency
that will stretch from one pay day to an
What has become of the old-fashioned
gal who used to help her mother with the
dishes
Any city Teller who plays poker with
guy from small town ought to lose his
room of country livery stable office
Wearin' silk hat ain more sign
that a Teller is in the 400 than wearin' a
leather cap is a sign that Teller owns an
From the Hickeyville Clarion.
Parties wishing to enter this Of
flee at this season should be governed
by the following rules: Advance to the
inner door and give three distinct raps
or kick the door down. The devil will
attend to the alarm. You will then
give your name, postoffice address and
the number of years you are owing for
the paper. He will admit you You
will advance to the center of the room
and address the editor with the fol-
lowing countersign: Extend the right
hand about two feet from the body,
with the thumb and index finger point
ing to a $40 bill which drops into the
extended hand of the editor, at the
same time saying: Were you looking
for me2'' The editor will grasp your
hand and pressing it will say, You
bet After giving the news of your
locality you will be permitted to re-
tire with a receipt for an obliga-
ton properly discharged.