davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
h. + AZ lEgs,l - AZ
CHARLES r. CRANE INJURED

Falls ard Strikes on Head During
Il Cruise on Long isiand Sound.
Chicago. Oct. 3 Delayed reports Of
q fall received by Charles R. Crane,
from which he is believed to have!
escaped with only minor injury, were
received in Chicago.
5 During cruise aboard his yacht
Anita, Mr.. Crane had a bad fall, alight-
ing on the back Of his head and sus-
tanning injuries which 1t was at first
thought would prove serious Accord
ing to members Of his family in this
city, examination showed the injury
to be less dangerous and not sufh-
.cient6to cause further alarm. It Is adj.
mitted it was narrow escape.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Manuel and Wife Didn't Quarrel.
Lisbon, Portugal, Oct. Monarch
list friends Of ex-King Manuel claimed
to have received dispatches from the
former Portuguese monarch saying
that there had been no enlargement
between Manuel and his bride.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
I. oDY ExoNERATEs JuRIsT.

House Committee Refuses Action,
" Il Against Van Devanter. n ~ f,$
Washington, Oct. By the adop-
ton Of resolution finding that there
is no foundation for any proceedings
against Mr.. Justice Van Devanter' of
the Supreme Court Of the United
States, the judiciary committee Of the
house went on record against the off,
cial exploitation Of charges Of doubt
full origin against the federal judi
cfary. ,if$gf &
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Rrv,n Welded % Ye.rs ADO

Fairfax, Va, Oct. Secretary
Bryan came to Fairfax to celebrate
the twenty-ninth anniversary OF their,
wedding They attended the county.
fair, where the secretary spoke on,
"'The Signs of the Times" He dis
cussed the efforts President Wilson is
making to curb the power Of great
private interests,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Denies Wilson Favors U. s. Ownership
Washington, Oct. 4.-Reports that
President Wilson has devised an elab-
crate plan for government ownership
of the telegraph and telephone sye-
TENS of the country were denied from
an official source.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
MISS EDITH TAFT WEEDS.

Relative Of Former President Marries
Army Officer. s#&
s Newburgh, N. Y, Oct. N3.-Leut
Wister NJ. Chubb, U. S. A., and Miss
Edith Taft of Montgomery. Orange
county, were married. The bride is a
relative OF former President Taft.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
scott Cocoon Hates hImseIf::

rs ScUIt NJ VOOP0T s1aeee 'VITHseII N
Scott Cooper. who has become 80
identified with the bow-wow roles like.
his village tyrant in "The Road to!
Happiness" has q habit of going over
his lines to himself in his dressing
room after each performance. The
other evening visitor back stage
heard the actor mumbling to himself.
II wonder" said he, why the man
talks to himself" From the dressing
room came the voice OF Cooper: The
man talks to<himself for two reasons.
one because he likes to hear smart
man talk, and the other because he
likes to talk to smart man"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Insane Patient Killed.

Kankakee, Ill, Oct. s.-That Carl G.
Hoist Of, Paxton, IT., was murdered in
the Kankakee insanev asylum, while;
there as a patient, is the confession
as sworn to by William Wolf of Nash
Vile, N. c., former attendant at the
asylum.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Beachey to Fly Again.

Hammondsport. N Y, Sept 30
Lincoln Beachey, who in 1912 an
nounced that he had retired. few here
for the first time in year. He said.
after the flight: "Once an aviator, al
ways an aviator" -l. gy-@ ~
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
AMERICANS FLEE CAPITAL.
Warned to Leave Mexican
f5fE5l2STown m Eede rails gAdvance. III

.Expatriates Warned to Leave Mexican
Town az Federais advance.
Piedras Negras, Mex, Oct. This
city, the provisional capital Of the
Mexican constitutionalists, Is terror
stricken by the victorious march OF
the federals and the arrival OF hun
.dreds of refugees from the surround
ing country. devastated by both arm
les. III; 81. As .@3 q. Et. f. s3,
Obeying the instruction OF United.
States Consul Blocker, 70 American
residents Of Piedras Negras Joined the
exodus and hundreds Of persons
crossed the international bridge into:
Eagle Pass, many carrying such Of
their possessions as they could shur-s
riedly assemble on their backs.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Five of Family Die In Fire

Five Of Family Die In Fire.
New Haven, KY, Oct. 3.-Fiye per-
sons were burned to death and $4,000
damageSwas done in a fire which. de-
stroyed a hotel here. All OF the vic
tins were members of the family of J.
T. beavers. He escaped. s2 4
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
AERoPLANE FALLS; HURTS 2.

Aviator and Machine In Crash at Fair
Grounds. ..
Elkins, w. Va, Oct. 3.-Seven per
sons were severely injured by an aero
plane, driven by Irving Conley. that
scared into crowd along fence at
the Elkins fair grounds and fell with
a crash.
Z Eight thousand persons saw the &C
cident, but there were no signs OF
panic. The injured were taken OF the
field and the races proceeded.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Great Deficit In Treasury.
Washington, Oct. 3.-The deficit Of
the federal treasury for the current
fiscal year has reached 900, as
compared with 81, 100000 a year ago.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
lillnois LAWYER |. Killed.

Terre Haute, Ind, Sept. 3o.-Frank
Shopp of Paris, one of the best known
LAWYERS of eastern Illinois, was killed
here by jumping from an automobile
owned by Sheriff Blackman. with
whom he was taking ride.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
oulmet Must Quit Golf.

Boston, Oct Acting on the ad-
vice OF his family physician Francis
Ouimet, national golf champion, aban-
doned his contemplated golf trip to
California this month owing to a nerv.
oss breakdown.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Seek Damages From Y. 8.

Washington, Oct. 3.-Industrial
Workers Of the World made demand
upon the White House for damages
from the national government for de-
struction OF their property by y. S..
sailors during the riots in Seattle. !.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Iondon Has New Lord Mavor.

London Has New Lord Mayor.
London, England, Oct 1.-Sir Thorn
as Vansittart Bowater was elected
lord mayor Of London. He will assume
Office November g., Sir Thomas is the
first Lancastrian to attain this high
position. 80
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
uaaful for Once

Il never saw fool friends do any
thing useful before" FL 4 q
How now?"
"A lot Of them got to sending me
bricks by parcel post, and nov I have
enough to build that garage J need.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
neImont,. 20. ooo Hor.e p.fe,ted,

BeImont's 100000 Horse Defeated.
Newmarket, Eng. Oct. August
Belmont's famous three-year-old Ira
cey, for which he was recently offered
100000, was defeated here by Can
tilever in the race for the Jockey Club
stakes of $4,000.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Senator H. C. Lodge Operated On.
Nahant, Mass, Oct. Senator
Henry Cabot Lodge Is recuperating
after an operation for growth on the
right side which he underwent last
Thursday. News Of the operation was
not given out until Monday.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Lady sackviIle's Kin WEEDS.

London, Oct. 3.-The Hon. Victoria
West, whose mother, Lady Sackville,
recently won a victory in the courts
to retain $5,O00,O00 bequeathed her by
Sir Scott, was married to Harold Mich
olson, son Of Sir Arthur Nicholson.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Moro Thief Killed by sleuth,

Negro Thief Killed by sleuth.
Omaha, Neb., Sept. 30.-Louis Wes-
lev, negro robber, was shot and
killed here by Detective Arthur Gun
ningham in battle in which the ne
gro shot and seriously wounded Gun
ningham and Detective Ferris.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
To seoreoate Sick on rratn.,

To Segregate SICK on Trains. !"
Topeka, Kan. Sept. 30.-Plans for
the segregation of sufferers from tu-:
berculosis on passenger trains in Kan
sas were announced today by DR., S. j.
Crumbine. secretary of the state board
Of health II
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
QuthIoWn,

II have often wanted to sec Mrs.
Jabberson walking in the teeth OF o.
gale that was blowing great guns"
What on earth do you want to seei
her doing that for 7"
IT don't believe she could talk then j
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Gov. COX pardons Woman SLAYER

Columbus, O., Oct. 1.-Governor
Cox granted a pardon to Jennie
Owens, serving life sentence for
murder She is suffering from tuber-
culosis and was considered a menace
to the other prisoners
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Woman scaIped by Auto.

La Crosse, Wis, Oct. Mrs. Oscar
Anderson, Readstown, Wis, who was
scalped when her hair caught in the
machinery of an overturned automo-
bile, driven by her husband, is in .
critical condition.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Tbaw in AppeaI to BRYAN,

Washington, Oct Through Sena.
tor Oliver, Harry Kendall Thaw APP
pealed to the state department to ask
an explanation from the British en.
bassy here of the treatment accorded
him by Canadian officials. s|
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Haaaln lis IMPROVING.

Lexington, KY, Oct. flames hen.
Ali Haggin, the eighty-six-year-old
multi-millionaire, who has been bat
Ting against pneumonia, is much, i'm
proved, but physicians said his condi-
ton was still dangerous.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Alexander Mcdowell 10 Dead.
Sharon, Pa, Oct. 2.-Maj. Alexander
Mcdowell, for is years clerk Of the
house of representatives at Washing
ton, died at his home here. He was
eighty-two years old and had been i'll
for several weeks. q
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Give Jewish Employees Holiday

Washington, Oct. 4.-Burleson or
dered all postmasters to grant leave Of
absance to Jewish employees on their
New Years day and on October II, IL
such leave of absence does not inter-
sfere with the service.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Poet Ships as stowaway.

New York, Sept. 3o.-Harry Kemp,
the box car poet" who eloped with
Mrs. Upton Sinclair, has shipped on
board the White Star liner Oceanic as
a stowaway and is on his way to Eu-
ropo. ~
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Arthur Wager to Porto Rico.

Washington, Oct. 3-Arthur Wager
of Georgetown; KY. is slated to be.
the next governor Of Porto Rico. The;
appointment has been practically de-.
termined upon. Mr.. Wager, was for
merly president of Georgetown college.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Seek New Japan-U. S. Treaty.
Toxic, Japan, Oct. Sit is under
stood here that Japan and the United
States are engaged in a discussion OF
the possibilities Of arranging a new
commercial treaty between the two
countries.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
California Millionaire Acquitted.

y California M1IIlonaIre Acqu1x[co. Y
Los Angeles, Cal; Oct. 1.-George
H. Bixby, the Long Beach (Cal.) mil
lionaire, was acquitted by jury In
Superior Judge Bledsoe's court of the
charge of contributing to the delin-
quency of Cleo H. Barker, a minor.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Roo.eve,t's Kin Ia Killed.

- q" H0V0SVeTko MI 10 N'TsS0'
Haverhill, Mass, Oct. HAIRY l.
Lee died from injuries received when
his motorcycle collided with an cleo
trio car. His sister, Lillian Lee, was
killed instantly. They were related
to Colonel Roosevelt.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Mia. ,+hron Much Better

Rockford, ILL.,, Oct. 2.-Miss Julia
Lathrop, director of the federal chill
dren's bureau, who has been III at
her home here for several days with
a threatened attack of typhoid fever,
Is reported to be better.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
AGED Multl.MiIIionalre III.

Lexington, KY, Oct. 3.-James D.
Haggin of this city, the multi-million-
aire, is critically Ill at his place.
."'Elmendorf." His advanced age, past
ninety, makes his recovery almost i'm
possible.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Albanian Amazons to War.

500 NpdnidH tA"akoHS " ""' z5gsr$z
Vienna, Austria, Oct. 2.-Women are
taking an active part in the fighting in
Albania. Many Albanian amazons,
armed with hatchets, fought heroical-
ly shoulder to shoulder with their hus-
bands, sons and brothers.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Gen, Booth to Visit U. 8.

000e11 80 vss'e 81 q. =
London, Sept. 30.-Gen Bramwell
Booth, chief Of the Salvation Army,
sails on the 1mperator October "a for
a stay of month in the United States
and Canada, visiting New York, Chi
cago. Toronto and Winnipeg.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

Auto Makes New Worlds Record.
London, Oct. "A new worlds au.
tomobile record was made at the
yBrooklands track when 30-horse.
power car covered LOTS miles $50
yards in ~ hours, being an average
of more than SO miles an hour.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Bail PIayer-MInstreI Dies

Decatur, Ill, Oct. 1.-Walter Moore,
formerly a player on the Buffalo team
in the old Eastern league and Ia
ter with AL G. Fielda' minstrels. was
found dead in bed with the gas turned
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08
Delay Lobby Quiz Report.

OeIdy EOUUy 0u1] 1tePo1E' $500
Washington, Oct. 2-Chairman Car
rett of the house lobby investigating
committee said on Tuesday that the
committee said that the committee
will not report at this session of>con-
gress.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1913-10-08

be established at Clinton, Dubuque
and Cedar Rapids. Capt. Carroll D.
Power, in charge Of the Davenport
station, will have charge Of the three
branches. 33&$
The Rev. w. B. Crewdson. pastor OF
the Christian church at Logan has
rendered his resignation and accept
ed call at Elliott, Ia, where he will
go about Nov. l.. 5sE
Frank Smith, James Sorenson and
Edward McGraw are under arrest at
LIE Mars charged with burglary and
beating F.. C. Mote, farmer.
Molten metal seeping through sand
in the molding hox and setting the
wood afire was the cause OF blaze
which resulted in $4,000 damage to
the Red Jacket Manufacturing plant
at Davenport.
The date for Knoxville's "Old Home
coming. or fall festival, has been set
for the week beginning Oct. 10. The
committee already has raised $500
and figures on obtaining $4,000
J. N. Erbs, proprietor of hotel at
Pioneer took bichloride of mercury
mistaking it for calomel. and will die,
according 10 physicians. =
A big touring car carrying T. E.
Saunders of Omaha, his wife and
three sons, turned turtle down steep
embankment near Hamburg. One
son was pinned under the car and his
neck was dislocated.
Drouth has cut last years mark OF
S,26C.0O0 cases Of corn canned In
Iowa to 747,Oo0 cases. The price will
probably go as high as in 1901 when
il Jumped to SIPS dozen cans.
Miss Margaret Collins, sister OF
Councilman F. w. Collins OF Ft. Dodge
was fatally burned when she tried to
blow out lamp and 1t exploded
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
TWentyIour Applications Received.

The Order of Owls held their
regular weekly meeting last night,
which was the largest they have
ever held, standing room being in
demand. One member remarked
today, 1--WE were packed in that
hall like sardines in a box; a larg-
#er hall will have to be secured
to accommodate or gEnsir 8 mems
bership. 8
Twenty-four applications for mem
bership were received since the last
meeting. The Order is experiencing
a national growth. The Pittsburg,
Pa, Dispatch says: Greater Pitts
burg Nest, No. 1921, Order of Owls,
has over four hundred applications
in the hands of the secretary, await
ing acceptance by the Nest" Mr..
Brooks, the organizer, says he Likes
our city, and is sorry to leave us.
After completing the work here,
he will go to Bethlehem, Pa.
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
MARYLAND PLACES UP.
Burleson Confers With President
Over Postoffice Appointments.

Washington, Sept. 24.-Postmas
| ter-General Burleson carried long
list of proposed Maryland nomina-
tions to the White House this af-
ternoon and discussed them at
length with the President.
No announcement was made as
to The names that will go to the
Senate as a result of this confer
ence, but it is reasonably sure that
the Western Maryland appoint
ments advocated by Representative
Lewis, will be in the list.
This afternoon Mr.. Burleson and
the President went over the papers
in the Maryland cases in detail, it
is said, and the postal official was
authorized to prepare commissions
for those offices which are to be
filled Immediately.
If any offices than those in West
ern Maryland are filled at this
time, the list likely will include one
or two of those now vacant in
Southern Maryland. 1t has been
reported frequently that State
Senator Bells was slated for the
Annapolis office in the first batch
of appointments that goes in for
Maryland, but no official assurances
to this effect have been given.
ha nr,to MI n
Maryland soon to be filled is that
of Postmaster at Cumberland. This
appointment has been the issue of
bitter factionaI fight in Allegany
county.
1t is known that the Postmaster
General has promised Representa-
tive Lewis to recommend the ap-
pointment of Franklin B. Beall,
chairman of the Democratic State
Central Committee of the county. 1t
seems certain, therefore, that if the
President sends any Maryland nomi-
nations to the Senate tomorrow, that
of Beall will be included.
1t is expected also that Frank
McDermitt will be named at Mount
Savage, Allegany county; Benja-
min F. Mitchell, at Hancock; Geo.
w. Kefauver, at Middletown, and
Joseph c. Gernand, at Thurmont.
No appointment will be made at
thsi time at Silver Spring. Samuel
Waters was recommended for this
office, but this has been held up
on account of some political disa-
biSity on his part.
The Eastern Shore nominations
may also come up. The Postmaster.
General has had one conference re-
Gently with Representative Coying-
ton, but this may not have been
conclusive as to the vacancies on
the Shore.
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
Rubbish Notice.

The Ordinances of Cambridge
prohibit the sweeping of rubbish
into the streets; many persons, in
Guiding merchants, seem to have
overlooked this fact, and before
arresting anyone for it's violation,
am instructed to thus call the
attention of all persons to the fact
that it is unlawful to place rub
bish, sweepings, or anything of the
kind in the streets. Persons disre-
garding this notice will be sub
ject to the penalties imposed by
the Ordinance.-Adv. 25-3t.
Chas. G.. Pritchett, Bailiff.
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
CHURCH LOCALS.

Get supper tonight at the Dor
chester Hotel, any time after five
o'clock. An elaborate menu will
be served.
The ladies of the First Bap-
tist Church of this city have ar
ranged to hold their annual oys-
ter supper on Oct. 9.
If you have never eaten g
Zion Church, order one at the Dor
chester Hotel this evening. Oysters,
chicken salad, Maryland biscuit
coffee, ham, etc., for only Csc,
Can you beat it?
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
Reward.

A reward is offered for the ar
rest and conviction of the party, or
parties, who have been removing
gasoline from my launch, "Silver
Heels. ADV. 25-1t.
Henry Lloyd, Jr.
The daily banner., 1913-09-25

Mrs. Levin Goslin, who has
been spending sometime in Balti-
more, as the guest of relatives and
friends, returned home this morn
ing on the Dorchester.
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
premium Flavor

found only IN Swifts Premium Hams.
We carry SSNift's PIem1um" Ham re-
gularly because our trade demands tue
best. Please ny cooking 'swilt's Prem
ium'' Ham without freshening. and note
is superior quality and flavor
The daily banner., 1913-09-25
A Suggestion to House.
wives

UcWIFT's PREMIUM HAMS are
~ cured by process that makes it
unnecessary and undesirable to par oil
before broiling or frying. This ham will
not be salty if parboiilng is omitted.
Put the ham directly in the frying pan
or on the broiler aud 1t will retain the
delightful
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-28

when the joy Of real motherhood should be
as tranquil as best effort can provide.
This is accomplished with a wonderful
remedy known as Mothers Friend, an ak
ternal application so penetrating In its
nature as to thoroughly lubricate every
cord, nerve. muscle and tendon involved.
There will be no pain, none of that
nausea or morning sickness, no sensation
of distress or strain of expanding muscles
The nerves. too, Will be calm. thus making
the period one of testful days, of peaceful
nights and source of hanplest anticipation.
The young, expectant neither must be care
fully watehfui lest she become absorbed in
those mental iistresses which lily prepare
her for the most important event in her life.
Mothers Friend enables her to avoid all
sensation of dread, worry or pain, and thus
she is preserved In health and strength to
take up the joyful task of motherhood
You will find Mothers Friend on sale at
all drug stores at 81 90 bottle. DO not fail
to use II regularly as directed. Write to-day
to Bradheid Regulator Co., i35 Lamar Bldg,
Atlanta, Ca. for their most valuable little
guide book for expectant mothers.
There Is wealth Of instruction and
comfort to be derived In reading this little
book. 1t Is plainly written, Just what
every woman wants to know, and will be
q splendid little textbook for guidance, not
only for yourself, hut will make you help
fni to others. And. In tho meantime, do
not fall to get a bottle Of Mothers Friend
at The drug store, and thus fortify YOUR
eeif arai41<f n sind : 6ifn
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-28

He trained goose TO multiply and add
up and subtract:
He taught a spotted pig to waltz-h was
a funny act;
HE coaxed billy goat to jump through
hoops which were afianie.
He taught ehipmunk how TO choose the
letters of its name.
But he could never lesrn to cease to use
his toothpick where
And when such action gave offense--or
else he did not care.
He trained a dog to walk rope and
taught n cat to pray.
He said himself this took hard work
which lasted many a day;
He hitched an alligator UP and made 1t
pull a cart,
His perseverance was immense, his teach
ing with an art.
But he could never train himself. some
how, to save his life,
To quit endeavoring to scoop his food UP
with his knife.
He trained mouse TO dance a fig. he
educated fees;
He had carriage which was drawn by
harnessed humble bees;
He taught turkey gobbier how to bal
ance on his head.
And trained duck to f1atten out pre-
tending 10 be dead
But he could never train himself--or else
he never tried
To speak good English and to put vul-
garity aside.