Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-12-05
OLD GORDON'S
UMBRELLA
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1918, by Associated Lit
erary Press.
By M. QUAD

spoken or Us ola SOFuOIl, IAf6u III SuC
village OF Wayne and had got to be
sixty-fve years old. He had a daugh
ter, who was his housekeeper, and she
was engaged to young carpenter
named Henry Billings.
All went we'll till the old man decid-
ed to build hog pen.
To build a hog pen you must have
lumber and nails. Both were to be
had in the village, but when that point
was reached the old man cried out:
''No, stree! The last pound of nails
| bought of Smith he was three nails
short, and the last lumber | bought Of
Jones there were seven knots in one
board. IN show em that I'm not to be
swindled. Take the horse and buggy
and drive over to Acton and get what
we want"
1t was seven miles to the town
named. but Henry took the ancient rig
and set off cheerfully. In the back of
the buggy and unknown and unnoticed
by him was the tragedy. 1t was an
old bingham umbrella Just how old
it was there was no authentic record,
but old Gordon had time and again de-
clared it was the veritable rain she'd
der carrieS over the head Of General
Washington when he crossed the Della
ware.
Old Gordon wasn't church member,
but he attended the Methodist services
regularly and was prompt with his
pew rent. On one occasion the minis
ter doubted the age and adventures of
that umbrella, and for the next two
years he lost the attendance of the
owner and $50 year pew rent.
Henry Billings pursued his way to
the town of Acton with all the limo
cence of an unshorn lamb On arriv-
ing there he hitched old Dobbin to
post and went to see about the lum-
Der. A stray cow was wandering about
the streets and the idea came to her
to investigate the buggy. There she
found the umbrella. She had never
tasted bingham, and she took a gin
gerly bite. 1t was good. She hauled
the article out of the buggy and was
chewing the remains of it when Hen
~ returned. Not knowing the pres
ence of the umbrella, he did not chide
the cow. nor did he pick up the ribs
and handle and carry them back. He
drove home whistling and was proceed
ing to tell what hog pen bargain he
had made when the father of his loved
one rummaged in the back end of the
buggy and cried out:
where in smoke is that umbrell"
"W-what umbrell"
my umbrell."
ST haven't seen it."
''You are liar! 1t was in the back
end of the buggy. | always keep it
there to keep it from the rats Where
is it,"
why, over at Acton l saw COW
chewing the rags of an umbrella, but
it didn't occur to me that
oh it didn't!' shouted the old man.
We'll, .Iemme tell you that something
else will occur to you right here and
now! Don't you ever darken my door
again.
Of course young Billings could not
force his way into the house against
the wishes of the father. Every one
predicted an elopement, but none came
off. The lovers met at intervals for a
minute outside the house, but both
thought it better to wait for the old
man to wear his crouch out. More
than a year had passed, and he show
ed no sign of giving ill., when a tin
peddler came along one day who knew
Billings and said:
IF you were smart you'd have had
the knot tied long ago"
You know the old man, do you, and
how sOt he is in his ways"
I'm bring the old man around as
slick as grease if you'll invest So"
It's go"
The peddler was in Acton the day o
the tragedy. He had picked up the
handle and ribs of the umbrella, cal
culating to have a new cover put on
1t took him a week, calling from hous
to house. to find a housewife with
piece of old bingham thrown away il
the garnet, but he found it and had
cover made Of it.
One day the peddler drove up ant
said to old Gordon
81 haven't come to ask you to bu,
tinware, but it's a case of conscience.
81 don't believe ity' was the crouch
reply.
81 stole your old umbrella out of tn
buggy at Acton"
"By thunder!'
ST am a great admirer of Washing
ton and wanted a souvenir of him, bU
my conscience won't let me keep wha
stole Here it is"
by John. but it's herr' exclaime
the old man as he received and inspec
ed it.
Same one l stole. You can see tha
there's a w cut into the handle
"Of course there is. I've seen it
million times. Washington cut it wit
his own hand that winter at Vale
Forge"
"And you'u forgive me?
IA