The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-14

stole that from me-"
Marshallera again bobbed up shouting:
"The constitution says when he was
cut short by LaFolletto with My dear
sir, you are bewildered. The constitution
hasn't spoken above a whisper for sew
eral years" Marshallera retired finally
upon being presented with an enormous
turnip.
Scarcely had the company recovered
from such a fearful dream of Mexicaniza-
tion when further disorder was created
hurst, whose shrieks of Votes for wom-
en-" and demand for seat of honor were
finally subdued by the suave presidents
offer of hospitality when he was warned
that women now vote in 10 states.
Taking the public into its confidence, the
Gridiron club openly initiated five new
members into membership. They were E.
A. Fowler of the New York Sun, Arthur
nal, John p. Ryan of the San Francisco
Post, Fred Essary of the Baltimore Sun
and Thomas w. Brahany of the White
House offices
The initiation was to have been con-
Quoted by the federal reserve board, COM
posed of Harry Thaw, David Lamar,
Colonel Mulhall. Jack Johnson, William
fSulzer and Charles f. Murphy, headed by
General Coxey. but those gentlemen fell
into general quarrel when they at
tempted to hold a meeting.
President Kaufman of the club ordered
| the admission of the candidates to MEN,
bership upon payment of their dues. But
it seemed they were unable to meet that
cOsdition.
Said Candidate Fowler: 1.-THE admins-
been SO secretive that we can't get any
news, and we've lost our jobs" Asked
why then they had become candidates he
| added: I'VE relied on President Wilson.
! Listen to what he wrote in "The New
Freedom" (Reads) Let there be light.
1t is necessary to open all the processes
of politics. They have been too secret;
too complicated; too roundabout: they
have consisted too much of private con-
| ferences and secret understandings"
Chairman: Surely you got plenty of
news after that
Krock: mot much. Listen to the order
issued by Secretary Daniels: The Secre-
tary of the Navy directs that all articles
and information for the press be submit
ted to him before being given OUT
y y y
| Sweet to the ears of the hungry office
| seekers were the strains of La Grande
| Duchesse" as rendered by the numerous
| music committees of the Gridron club.
| Set to the old score, was the stirring
tale entitled "rhe AK of Adlai" The slSt
opened with the entrance of winsome
| ocracy," in search of a quiet place to
tend to her knitting" She thought the
White House would afford me shelter;
| but weddings turn the place helter slSel-
| ter" Attended by chorus of old friends
and poor relations, she sings:
"Once I was quiet and subdued,
| Not in the best society.
| With great respect | now am viewed
| model of prosperity"
Asked what knitting employed her skill,
| Miss Democracy replied:
| I've just crocheted a lovely tariff bill,
| A motto l embroidered cites these facts:
God bless our home-but damn the in
come tax"
| civil service examination was held
| to determine the fitness of the many
| democratic applicants for the job of one
lone republican postmaster This was
greatly against the will of the appl-
cants, who chanted their dissent to that
famous old air, "Ah, que Jaime les mill
taires''
| The examination displaced the republi-
can postmaster but the process was de-
clared to be too slow. wherefore Miss
| Democracy was obliged to yield to the gen.
eral demand for ''the one weapon that
fills the bill-the ak that Adlai used with
strength and skill and the curtain fell to
this ringing chorus:
| Bring forth the clever the clever. the
clever,
Bring forth the clever, the clever of our
Sires,
Bring forth the clever, the clever, the
clever,
.FT WITH THE 7