The Washington herald., 1913-07-24
THE PERSONALITY
WHICH DOMINATES

By FRANCES SKATER.

By FRANCES SKATER.
Most of us admire strong personalities
but We want them to stop TINS side OF
domination. We like determination. DE.
cided convictions, the trick or leadership
and all.
But-well, did you ever know home
in which there was just one oominatlns
personality. one mind which must ac'
before the others quite dared asser,
themselves or their opinionsy
Sometimes II happens that, by reason
of unnatural conditions, a man or woman
in the home assumes all the obligations
and expects ali the difference. II Is quite
true that those VINO reap the penenl
should be very loyal, considerare. and
anxious to return, If not in kind, at least
to the best OF their ability. But somehow
1t takes the beautiful spirit all out OF the
giving, and partly out OF the acceptance.
TOO, when the price Is perpetual DONNA
ton.
Even though one does lot. gives her
money and her protection, II does no,
seem quite fair to rule with ROD or iron.
to DO all the thinking, all the oecIoing.
and an the guiding, leaving the rest IN
the home Just poor little nonentities, with
nothing to do and nothing to say.
Because one may open her doors to
those who are dependent upon her. may
orfer shelter. clothing, ana 1000, out she
cannot justly PRIDE herself upon giving a
home unless she includes a goodIy sprin-
king OF the wonderful grace or Independ-
ence in the little ways OF insurtng COM
Portable living.
PilifuI Thing.
And really it is a pitiful thing from
both standpoints. a
1t is deplorable to be obliged to sink
ones individuality in that of another.
who chances to control the situation,
through money or otherwise. deplorable
to have to defer in matters big and little,
perhaps when there is nothing more at
stake than a question of opinion. 1t
takes away all possible dignity and leaves
nothing but the shadow of dependence.
But that is not lall. For the one who
forces this action presents a picture very
ugly and repellent- Folk who are disin-
terested, who only look in upon the fam
lily life at intervals. see the unnatural
Difference and the amazing lack Of free
dom on the one hand, then they observe
the calm acceptance and the continued
.domineering on the other, and they think
that IL the one manifestation calls for
pity the other warrants rebuke. The
it is forced or a spontaneous tribute.
easily leads to the fostering of self and
the dropping out of sight of other claims
and other rights.
Little Outside Tolerance,
And have you ever noticed the effect.
If one is domineering. self-opinionated,
very .'bossy" and important in the home,
that atmosphere and that attitude are
ell drnnrad he tril p,,,
out there. away from influences of one
sort or another, there is little tolerance
of the domineering spirit. Because no.
body enjoys the trick of being crushed,
and nobody will tamely submit to it I'm
less he must.
Sometimes It happens there, Just as IN
the home. that the balance or power, the
balance of money. and maybe the bal
ance OF personality make for unwilling
Difference. and folk are more or less SUBJ
servient to the one who dlspenses IL all
because they think they have something
to gain. But il the money and the power
slip away, nothing is left OF the defer
snce, for II was not A natural growth.
Gratitude, appreciation and abundant
thanks belong by right, to one VINO
earns them, and II is only fair TO show
that where much has been extended there
is an ever-present desire to render
thanks, in spirit and in deed. And some
times the only way OF revealing the feel
ing is through a gracious ATTITUDE or
other little ways of telling an eloquent
story when the heart Is IN the e1ort
Pretty Heavy Toll.
But when it happens. as II occasionally
does, that much Is gwen In the way or
money and over-mucn goes with II IN the
way of absolute CONTROL then one thinks
that pretty heavy toll Is exacred IN the
way OF payment. For II Is Illuminating,
crushing, and disheartening to be forever
set aside. reminded or a debt that Is
owed, but never can be paid.
Sometimes 1t really seems that an
abundance of money and the power II
gives do not always bring out the softer,
Tweeter traits in human nature, for, I'M
ess one is quite clear or mInd ana true
Of heart, IT is easy to overest1mate ones
real Importance, to confuse money with
worth, and to grow domIneerIng, dIcta-
torial, and offensive in the course OF time.
And it is very ugly.