The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-08-20
Concerning His Competitors,

0AA~ oVVS MA AASSAOS0tS ! VAIN "
put you on your guard against certain
persons In Jericho who would like to
be postmaster in my place. In so
doing ! am actuated by the same mo-
tives as guided my grandfather when
he laid down his life at Bunker Hill
There Is Moses Swartout. He Is a
Democrat, to be sure, but only q week
before the election he said to me over
the counter Of my grocery that your
picture in the papers reminded him Of
a dill pickle. II that isn't treason then
I don't know what is.
There is Moses Tompkins. He is
also a Democrat, but while buying a
two cent stamp Of me the day before
election he said in the presence Of wit
nesses that you couldn't run the Sec
and ward Of Jericho, saying nothing
Of North America. He has undergone
a change Of heart, I hear, and wants
my Job. but beware of him.
Then there is Philetus Goodheart
His name might lead n to think there
was no guile in him. but wait. At the
last Thursday evening prayer meeting
before election he boldly said In a
prayer:
"And also drive out the devils that
are seeking the destruction Of the
young and innocent and Of our sacred
institutions. They chew tobacco. They
drink rum. They profane. They rob
"a Of u s%ustenance and good name.
Let them be smitten hip and thigh at
the ballot box and let integrity tri-
umph abroad through the land"
Those are his very words, MI. Presi-
dent, and what did he e by them?
Who did he want smitten hip and
thigh? Why, our party, Of course. with
you at the head Of it. Amt We the
party that chaw tobacco, and SO on?
And yet that man has the gall to hope
he can have me bounced out and him
self bounced in!
Abe eascombe's Administrations.
And what Of Abraham Bascomb, who
Is carrying around a petition as
write? He has always been looked
upon as a Democrat, but just before
election he said to me in my grocery:
Pap, they hain't atten."
"Who-what?"
THE Democratic party. And that
man Wilson hadn't ftten."
"But you vote that ticket"
II allus have, but never agin."
THAT Mr.. Wilson seems to be a
rather good man." says l.
"Shucks! He couldn't run a country
school. It's Taft or the kentry goes to
the dogs"
And that's another man who wants
my Job because it's a soft snap. Bottled
his ticket after forty years and now
looks for the man he tried to down to
hand out a job to him.
The above are not the only ones.
When you get a petition from Jericho
Outside Of mine), beware. There is a
serpent hidden under it.
Two days ago the widow Of Solo
mon Purdy walked into the p~ostofice
and demanded possession by right of
the suffrage movement She discharg.
ed her hired man because he voted for
you. When I reminded her Of it she
replied that she didn't care a darn.
There are other women here making
threats. and l have an extra paddock
on the door and arranged for a man
to sleep in the fire engine house O.
nights. II a revolution breaks out
you a trust me to die game in de-
Tense Of this postotice and the liber-
ties Of our country.
Anarchy Will Prevail.
Jericho will remain in a bubbling
state until this postofice question is
settled. More or less anarchy must
prevail and more or less property be
destroyed. There are those who pre-
dict a slaughter.
All things considered, would it not /
be a good thing to settle the matter |
at the first moment you CAM There
need be no great fuss about it. Just /
telegraph to me that l am to hold my |
Job as long as you hold yours, and
will tack the message on the door
where all can read. It will settle
things down in IN hour. You may not
write me Immediately. but meantime l
shall be looking a%nxiously for a word
from you.
Mrs. Pinkham joins me in sending !
kindest regards.
The weather here is very uncertain,
and money is lending Mt 10 per cent
interest.
Excuse the frozen ink with which l
have had to write.
II pluribus unum. which signifies |
that ! am one of many.
OLD PAP PlNKHAM.