The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-26
Yours is the greatest find Of tho
century. You've struck paregoric!"-

1t happened. at a Christmas party.
"A pretty young lady had asked one
of the male guests to pass a dish of
almonds and raisins.
With pleasure" he replied, but
do you know that what You have ask
ed for is called in the vernacular kiss
miss and the penalty of a kiss attach
cs to the request?"
rs that SOP" answered the young
lady calmly. II must consult my hus-
band" and she called across the room
to him n repeated the observation.
Quite so," he replied. According
to custom it Is a Just debt and must
be paid. But is the gentleman aware
OF the arrangement made when we
were married-that I must settle all
my wife's liabilities ?"-Weekly Tele-
graph.
Bingtown was not particularly
proud OF its police force, and when
Patrolman Shadbark died and a sub
scription paper was started to pay his
funeral expenses the collector met
with a rather cool reception from
most of the business men he visited.
Finally he reached the office of Squire
Pepper. and after he had stated his
business the squire asked: How
much do you expect me to give?"
About SIS is what We figured on from
YOU" replied the collector. Hmm!
Five dollars, eh? How many men
have 0 got on the force?" Thirty
seven. including the chief" Thirty
seven" unused the squire, 'thirty-sev-
en-. Well. IS is a little too much to
pay for burying M policeman, but I'll
give Q an even hundred If you'll
agree to bury the whole force, i'll
Guiding the chief."-The Argonaut.
a story is told of two Irish farm.
ers who had not seen each other for
q long time, and who met at a fair.
They had a lot Of things to tell each
other.
"shure it's married OF am" said
Murphy.
You don't tell me So" said Moran.
"Faf yes" said Murphy, and Olive
rot a foine. healthy BOY, which the
neighbors say is the very pictur'
ONE"
Moran looked for a moment at MUIR
phy. who was not remarkable for his
good looks, and then said:
"Ah, we'll, what's the harm 40 long
as the child's healthy."-Tit Bits.
Said James B. Curtis. the president
ct the Indiana Society of New York,
speaking about tho recent heckling Of
Detective Burns when hs was on the
witness stand in a memorable case:
I'm afraid that sometimes VIC get
a little too personal and severe Will,
witnesses. How much better was the
handling Of q detective who was tes-
Trying in a London court. It was a
divorce case and Frank Lockwood was
the opposing counsel. The detective
witness came to the stand dressed in
olock broadcloth. wearing a gold fob
anu seals. and looked much more like
a respectable middle aged solicitor
than a member of the police force
Ihe mans testimony was likely to be
damaging to his client. so Mr.. Lock-
Wood pegan his REORGANIZATION
gently and was excessively polite.
II believe O are John Blank of
the firm of Blank & Co., the eminent
detectives"
Yes. sir said the witness. 4 rem.
resent that firm"
And l presume continued the
counsel. that in the curse Of your
duties as a detective you have. at
e1hnes; to assume many disguises?"
"'Yes. SIR
Then said Lockwood, smiling.
VIII you have the goodness to tell the
court Just what You are disguised as
now: "-Everybody's Magazine.
One must get up early to make a
success Of duck hunting or farming.
but there are Occupations where fho