davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Up-to-the-Minute Jokes

40 YOU really believe. doctor. that
your old medicines actually keep any
body alive asked the skeptic
SURELY returned the doctor. My
prescriptions have kept three druggists
and their families alive in this town for
twenty years"
Sergeant Rooney noticed that one Of
his squad had neglected to wash the
back Of his neck.
Hi, you"' he called to the culprit.
Right about face. and look at your
self"
Bookseller Would YOU care about
this, madsm-a new book Of fairy tales.
just out2"
Lady-No, thanks. I'm used TO them.
I've been married for years. you know.
Pluck. pluck. pluck. first. second and
thirdly. my boy. is the secret Of sue
cess" said Mr. Magnste. the million
aire
"Ah"' sighed the pale. over-worSed
clerk. Il guess SO, but I wish you'd
tell me YOUR method Of pluclling
Guest Why don'J you uut az least two
oysters in your stew.
Naiter-We tried %. SIP. but they used
10 quarrel
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Snap Shots
BY LILLIAN LAUFERTY.

A bit O verse.
A bit o praise,
A bit Of idle musing-
I hope you'll find
That you're inclined
To like the lines I'm choosing
This too shall pass. "-Hindoo
proverb.
WHEN WAS ONE AND TWENTY
BY Lawrence HousmRn.
When 1 vas one and twenty l heard
a wise man say:
Give crowns and pounds and guineas
but not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies, but keeI
your fancy free"
But I was one and twenty-no use to
talk TO me.
When / was two and twenty, I heard
him say again:
The heart from out the bosom was
never given In vain
It's bought with signs a-plenty, and
sold for endless rue"
And I am two and twenty-and. oh,
It's true-'tis true,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12

there were glances of protest from sew
erai indignant old women
REALLY, l can't stand that draught"'
exclaimed one stout. assertive looking
matron, as she drew her white shawl
closer about her shoulders and forced
an affected cough
you see" shrugged Miss Carson. as
the waitress closed the window again,
they can't stand a breath Of air. You'd
have thought II was a regular gale the
way she drew that shawl about her
But here comes our grape juice-that'H
be cooling"
The Claret Is Good.
Pm afraid youn have a demoraliz-
ing effect on the place." laughed Helen
as she slipped the excellent claret. which
was served in a bottle with a grape
juice label
'Id like to- grinned Miss Carson;
they need stirring up a bit. No won
der they call It the old ladies home"
Have you noticed what dissatisfied
expressions most Of them have?" unused
Helen Il was watching them while |
waited In the lobby, and I didn't see a
really happy or contentcd looking woman
among them an
"Of course, YOU didn't You don't
think women who live alone are ever
really content. do you? DO YOU think
there's a woman here who wouldn't be
happier IL she We're living In her own
home with "a husband and children?
There are probably more heartaches
right here than under any other one roof
ina New Nork-iust because every woman
here is alone.
And Vet, some women claim that
their work, their career ana their indie
pendenCe are more T. them than the love
Of any man." ventured Helen
when they say that it's to save their
PRIDE because they couldn't get the man
they wanted declared Miss Carson.
bluntly. NO woman ever said it truth
fully. Many Of these women have ca
recrs -there are many successful law
yers, lecturers and writer's living here
They probably wouldn't be honest
enough to admit that their work doesn't
satisfy them But do you think IL does ?
There isn't a woman here that wouldn't
give ii all up for a home OF her own-if
It could be with the man she wanted Q"
II was after 10 when Helen got home
Without waiting TO take OF her wraps
she sat down at the desk and wrote a
hurried note TO Warren, so that 1t
might reach him at his hotel in Phila-
delphia before he left at noon:
Dearest: I've had dinner with Miss
Carson. as 1 had planned. And, oh. my
dear. I'm so glad and grateful that I'm
Mrs. Warrent f. Curtis. with my home
and my husband. and not a lone woman
living at woman's hotel,
Miss Carson says some Of them have
careers-successful careers-but they
don't look very happy. on. I'm sure
there isn't any career for a woman
that's so satisfying as just being wifel
HELEN
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
HappvUnionsBase of Our Social Structure

into a live wire and bring destruction
if you choose to make it so"
To a son / should speak in pre-
cisely the same manner, perhaps oft
ener and with more earnestness-not
because men are more tempted than
women from within or without, but
because they have been allowed so
long to believe in their privilege to
play with temptation.
1t is useless to deny the fact that
life offers no other fascination equal
TO the attraction of the sexes. 1t is
not strange when we realize that the
entire earth is formed and maintained
the vegetable as well as the animal
kingdom-by this sex impulse. The
only strange thing is that human be-
ings in this advanced and scientific
age consider it subject to be avoid
ed or a fact to be denied.
Men Not More Tempted.
The woman who proclaims herself
absolutely Indifferent to men pro-
claims herself either hopelessly phleg-
matte or anaemic. She is not nor
NAL; neither is the man who cares
nothing for-and finds nothing fasci-
mating ln-Jne association or women.
Wise is the wife who says TO her
self: MY husband will see many
women who charm and interest him,
but he shall be so loved, entertained
and trusted by me that he will not
want to wander away"
Wise is the husband who says: my
wife will attract and be attracted BY
other men, no doubt; but she is LOYAL
and true, and 1 shall give her such
attention and devotion she will not
wish herself the wife of any other
man"
That there are many such mar
riages know, for I again assert that,
despite all the hue and cry raised
about marital unrest, and despite the
frequency of divorce, happy mar
| riages form the base of our social
structure.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12

ana if found elsewhere, to suppose it
means affinity"
Were I the mother of young
daughter about to be the wife of a
man she adored. I should say to her:
do not imagine that you will never
feel the attraction of any other man
when you are married. If you are
in perfect health and if your mind is
receptive and progressive you will, as
the years pass by. find yourself in
terested in, and stirred by other mag
netic masculine personalities. When
such an experience comes, give it as
little thought as possible. 1t does not
mean that you have ceased to love
your husband, nor that you have
found one who could hold your inter-
est longer than he. 1t means that
you CHANGED to be susceptible to an
electric current which can vitalize
and strengthen you If made to act
upon you mentally, or can be turned
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Just About Women

A woman ought to be pretty to con-
sole her for being a woman at all
An intimate acquaintance with a
woman always develops that her woman
friends are not as perfect as you had
thought them.
If a woman's voice sounds sweet TO
her family, depend on it. she is calling
them 10 dinner or to get out Of bed
Praise a man TO his wife for being
good to his children and she will say.
We'll, why shouldn't he be? They are
his"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12

Portable. moderately cheap and eminent
ly respectable" announced Miss Carson
with laughing defiance. as though an
ticipating questions as TO why she lived
here. 1T may not be the liveliest and
most inspirational place in the world.
but when I get home al night I'm too
tired 10 want anything hut TO be let
alone
While she freshened up for dinner
she told Helen about some settlement
classes she had taken lately. In addi-
ton TO her regular work as music in
structor I'm fashionable boarding
school
And while / am working so hard
I've got TO have some comfort, I just
couldn't stand boarding houses any
longer. OF course. it's more expensive
here. but It's less than any other hotel.
I pay a dollar and a half for this room
and have 10 get most Of my meals out.
anyway"
"a dollar and "a half a day" repeated
Helen. why. I thought you could get
a room without a bath at any hotel for
! that"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Willing to Go Higher.

Yes" said the old man, addressing
and should like to see them all COM
fortably married; and, as I've made
little money. they won't go to their hus-
bands penniless. There's Margaret.
twenty-five years old. and a real good
girl shall give her $1,000 when she
marries Then come Bet, who won't
see thirty-five again, and she'll have
$40 600; and the man who takes Dora,
who is forty, viii have $4,000 with
her"
The young man reflected a moment or
so, and then nervously inquired, You
haven't one about fifty, have your
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
By ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.
Copyright, 1878, BY Star Company. ,


TN the first glamour and rapture Of
possession, betrothed lovers and
newly married people are i'm
mune from the influence of any third
person. The most fascinating wom-
an, the most attractive man. is pow
erless to awaken more than a passing
platonic interest in husband or wife
Very young lovers believe this con-
dition will prove eternal, and when it
diminishes in any degree-when either
one becomes in the least susceptible
to the physical or mental charms Of
another-they imagine they have
reached a crisis Of misfortune. and
that welded love is dead or dying.
Instead. they should regard it as
the mere rise and fall of the emo
tional tides. When the sea is at high
water mark, all the pebbles and rocks
on the coast are covered; when It
GIBBS they are revealed. but the tide
comes back and covers them again.
Love Should Be Eternal.
The pebbles change and the rocks
wear away. but the tides are eternal.
So. husband and wife should realize
that married love is the eternal thing
and wait for the fullness of the tides,
and not regard mere incidents as
tragedies, nor attach undue impor-
lance to passing distractions.
The magnet ore attracts the parti-
Gle of steel until the steel is charged
with the same magnetism-then it
does not follow the steel.
Yet, left to itself for a period Of
time, it again is susceptible to the
same influence. The thrill goes out
of the hama clasp and the kiss at
times, because husband and wife have
been so constantly associated Let a
brief separation ensue-and 1t is
found again.
The mistake lies in suppoSng that
ii is gone forever and is rushing forth
to seek a new sensation elsewhere,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
CERTAINLY NOT.

Dear Miss Fairfax:
l am a young man of twenty
one years of age and am very
much in love with a girl of
eighteen. l am at present at
tending a school of dental surg
cry and have been here two
years. The young lady makes
SIS a week and is willing to keep
on working until l have finished
school We would like to have
your advice as to whether We
should get married at once OF
not +.
You do not want your wife to sup
port you. do you? Wait until YOU
are earning a living yourself and
then il will be time enough to think
of marrying.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Elderly Women, Too.

Most of them went straight to- the
desk for their keys and mail, then hur-
ried over TO the elevator 20 be whiskco
up 10 their rooms \ few loitered %
chat in the lobby Some turned into
the tea room 90 sustain their WEAKNESS.
Besides these homecoming workers.
there were number of elderly women
drifting about. who had evidently not
been out but had come down from their
rooms 20 spend this hour before dinner
In the lobby viewing their more active
neighbors
one had brought her Crocheting, an
other some embroidery work. and they
an had black handbags and jangling
room keys
II was a relief 20 see a man swing
through the revolving doors and stride
up 10 the thsk. Even the rather glum
woman clerk smiled graciously as she
phoned up his name.
IN a few moments the youngest and
most attractive woman Helen had set
seen there came down i'm the elevator
and greeted him cordially lie did not
even let her sit down. but hurried her
out. evidently wishing 20 get away from
the target of feminine ewes
We'll where she we eat2" Helen
heard him ask as they passed
ANY place where there's life and
music laughed the girl
And Helen could well imagine that If
one lived n q woman's hotel one would
want occasionally To dine out at some
place with life ana music
s bell girl ran mp and was given "a
name ta page.
"NIs- FELTON, -t1b. Down the hail
srt through fn0 restaurant switched
tro rrI calling ahr1n. "Nia= Fulton
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Didn't Catch the Point.

Il was getting measured for a suit OF
clothes this morning" said young Sissy
to his pretty cousin, "and just for =
joke, you know, l asked Snippen II IL
really took nine tailors to make man.
He said it would take more than nine
tailors to make a man Of some people
thought 1t was quite clevah.'
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Advice to the
Lovelorn
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.
SHE OWES THE APOLOGY

O1E O"EO ] TIE HFSGSSFs
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
- l am very anxious to know
If a gentleman is insulting a lady
by telling her that her words and
temper were unladylike. The
young lady in question was first
talking sneeringly and sarcastic
ally, and later in the discussion
vehemently against a minister,
father of the young man to whom
she was talking. Some of the
things she said were false; others
she said because she misunder-
stood his manner At first the
young man tried to defend his
father by answering her accusa-
lions; and then, firmly, plainly,
and taking her quite to task,
though not a bit angry, he told
her that it was very unladylike
for her 10 talk and act as she did.
The young lady was insulted and
said she would never speak to
the young man again until he
apologized to her. Now, do you
not think that she owes the young
man and the father an apology,
rather than that the young man
owes an apology to her?
ANXIOUS INQUIRER.
The young woman was not onl
but extremely tactIess an
She decidedly owes tn
young man an apology. would no
blame him If he never cared to b
friends with her again. He did quit
right in rebuking her.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
No Tipping Here.

Eyes, YOU can; but there is no tip
ping here-or, at least, very little.
These bell girls would faint IL they
ever got more than q nickel-and i'm
agine offering a bell boy scent tip,''
'l)o You mind II ! open the window 30
asked Helen, who. although she had
taken on her coat. was almost smother
ing in the close room
~ knew-it's stirling" admitted Miss
Carson. as she threw mp the window
"They keep the whole place roasting
hot. MS on account Of the old people,
! suppose Now. shall we go down."
The restaurant. with It's many tables
filled only with women, seemed 90 Helen
tn have almost an institutional air
We're breaking one of the strictest
rules of the house tonight" laughed
Miss Carson, as she shook out her nap
kin. You know they don't allow any
kind of wines or liquors here. but l
brought in a bottle Of claret this morn
ing and persuaded one OF the mattresses
10 serve it TO us as grape juice. But
be very careful not 10 speak Of II as
clarot Now" handing Helen the card,
what shall We have7"
Helen. who knew that Miss Carson's
means were limited. wanted To order a
simple dinner. But Miss Carson insist
ed on a rather extravagant one The
service was painfully slow. as there was
only one girl for about dozen tables.
but the food was good and well cooked.
"Oh. YOU must he almost suffocated' 20
exclaimed Miss Carson. noticing Helen's
flushed face Its sizzling in here"
she beckoned 20 the head waitress.
Gould we have this window open just
"a little way
YES, but I'm afraid they won't let il
stay open long
she lowered the window from the too
hardly more than an inch. but instantly
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
It Was Low That Day.

Early Tuesday morning. when Brick
Smith, the aviator. was about to try for
the altitude record, he decided to carry
with him an ordinary double barreled
shotgun. His idea was to try to hunt a
bit in the upper regions, provided he
could find anything that high.
At a point 1859 feet above the sea
level he fired directly into the zenith and
brought down two pounds Of print but
ter
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
Just Took a Chance

Il don't see how YOU can enjoy
grand opera when you can't under
stand the words
Didn't you ever enjoy a dish of
hash without knowing what was in
ft?"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12

Our first baby is
strong aud healthy and
we attribute this re-
suit TO the timely use
OF your Compound. -
Mrs. FRED NOHANN,
Kent, Oregon.
II owe my life and
my baby's good health
20 your Compound -
Mrs. W. %. SPENCER,
X +. D., No. >, Troy,
Alabama.
l have three chill
dren and took your
4 Compound eschume. +"
Mrs JoHs HowARD,
/ Wilmington Vermont.
T have a lovely
baby boy and you can
tell every one that no
4 isa tpiukham baby 4"
-MrELoUIs FISCHER,
i - hunroe ST., Carl
stadt, y, J.
-" We are at last
blessed with a sweet
little bsbygirl. Mrs.
g. A. LAFERoUsE,
MODteEut, La
I have one Of the
finest baby girls y1u
ever saw. Mrs. c. F..
GOODWIN. 1912 S. 9th
St, Wilmington, NC.
Nv husband Is the
happiest man alive 70
. day. Mrs. CLARA
DARBRAKE. 5g7 Aiaril
Ia ST. Buffalo. NY.
Now / have mic,
baby girl. the iov OF
our home. Mrs. Do
SYLVIA CorE, No. III
So. Gate St. Worces
Ter. Mass.
Ihsve q hue strong
ba.v daughter now
49, Mrs.. A. A GmFs
Dewiutviile, y. y.
Route ~
7 have a big. fat,
A healthy iov. Mesa.
A. EALE>sEH. RID.
, Mol, Baltimore, Ohio.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
He Was Alarmed.

The coal supply Of the earth is
limited. said the scientist. NO one
can say how long il will last
Great Scot" exclaimed a man in
the back row. And here we've gone
and wasted more'n a hushel of it
heatiu' the haI for this lecture"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
CAN NOT PUSH MATTERS.

Dear Miss Fairfax:
/ am a young man twenty-five
years of age and worked in a
store some time ago. While at
work there / became very at
tached to my employers daugh-
ter, and she told me she was
very fond of me. / called on
her three times a week, but since
then have accepted another posi-
ton. / have tried to see her and
make an engagement to CALL
but she told me that her parents
objected TO any one calling on
her. What shall / do?
WORRIED.
II her parents object to your call
ing you can not very well insist OF
doing so. If the girl cares for vol
she will probably be able TO induce
them to allow you to call once in
while, at any rate.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
CHILDLESS
WOMEN

These women once Childless. now hap
py and physically well. with healthy
children, will tell how Lydia T.. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound made all this
possible. Here are the names and cor
rect addresses-write them ~ YOU want
10, and learn for yourself. They are only
a few out 81 many thousands
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
More Honor To Be Sought.

But many a man is gently propelled
IN a given direction without being aware
n the fact As long as he thinks he
= doing exactly what he wants to, he Is
perfectly happy II is very tactful
woman who can lead without showing
her hand.
Some day. perhaps, when woman has
made 80 much OF place for herself in
the world that she is financially on a
plane with man. she can propose with
The best OF them. but until then she
had better be content with her womanly
privilege Of being sought
ID is more OF an honor Co be sought
than TO sue
Help things along IL you can, do so
rnodestly and tactfully. but don't force
The situation, and never forget your
wemaniiness
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
SEND THE RING BACK

SEND THE RING BACK
Dear Miss Fairfax:
l am a young lady twenty-one
years of age and have been keep
ing company with a young man
for about six months. He is very
kind to me, but / can not really
get used to him. l got a ring
from him, but / want to know IL
/ gave il back to him whether IL
would make him feel bad about
it. l would like TO get rid of
his company if l possibly can,
as / don't really really care to
keep il any longer. Dear Miss
Fairfax, kindly advise me what
to do. ANXIOUS.
The only thing to do is send hi'
ring back and tell him that you finC
you do not care for him enough L
keep it, Make your letter as nic'
as possible and spare his feelings al
YOU can. II is not fair to encourage
him when you know that you do no
care for him
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
A MATTER OF AGE.

Dear Miss Fairfax:
i have known a young lady for
over two years and have fallen
deeply in love with her. Have
told her so many times, and she
believes me. She says she Is sor-
ry that we never can be married
on account of the difference in
our ages. She is some odd years
older than l am. but that does
not change my love for her. l
do not really know what to do.
She says on account of that we
had better not see each
often. What would you advise
me to do? I really care for and
love her more than anybody that
| ever knew. ANXIOUS.
Not knowing the exact difference
| can not advise you very satisfac
torily, but if she is more than fiv,
years older than you, / think yol
would be foolish to marry. If tn,
difference is less than that, and yol
care equally for each other, l should
think you might persuade her L
marry.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
nme Men New Prodding

- EFllUHs TIC AAfFNA 1870
3w much assistance he has had
some men actually need this prod
ng 10 bring them 10 the proposal
,ipt They hang around the girl for
res. never getting their courage up 20
the asking, and all tho time keeping
sher eligible men away from her.
Who can blame the girl or call her
nnaidenIy IL she helps such tardy
ooer along a bit? She does not pro-
oae TO him: she simply makes il easy
lr him TO propose 10 her.
There are some girls, alas, who prac-
eaiiy ask a man his intentions before
: knows them himself They are the
iris who are not willing To accept
,ere friendship from a with them
Il Iovemaldng or nothing. That they
,equently end by being Old maids does
ot seem 20 be a warning 20 others Of
heir kind
A girl cannot expect a man 70 pro-
ose 20 her unless she gives him some
Encouragement, but there Is happy
ledium in Iovemaking as in all other
hings.
II a man IS attentive 10 a girl and
ne likes him, there is no harm in her
howing her liking In a modest. digni-
ed way. She need not run after him,
ut she can let him see that she likes
y be with him and that his coming IS
ways welcome.
II she rushes nervously into CONVEX
alton every time there comes a sig
,lheaut pause in their conversation,
he can defer the proposal indefinitely
Mess the young man is a determined
gooer.
Centuries OF customs have decreed
hat woman should not propose 10 man,
4 Is an unwritten law. but a very
.tringent one. The mere fact OF
woman seeking him would be enough To
END the ordinary man cantering gayly
a the opposite direction,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12

n little moonlight makes you think
Johnny is the best man under the sun.
try To find out if the Broadway stars
can prove him s3"er- plated shine.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-04-12
MAIDEN MUSINGS.

When a girl likes a man and finds
that she is coming to the end OF
friendships string, is it a wise plan
for her 10 try tying a matrimonial knot
in it,