New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-03
AS [ WAS SAYING


| Whose is the worst pun?
Till to-day we unanimous for W oooie "es-
tna,d Bwowne's My wuhd, gasped "oooie. AZ
he saw a man writing a letter in RED INK -o"'
| ithn't that inkwedibly wedinkuous!
But we have just opened punch anu j" az
atrocitv worth hundredweight Of Wohbies An the
! fine shamelessness with which Punch prints hou-
mania's motto upon advancing INTO buisdii'
suis Nv reste'-a free translation OF which Is
am here and | Roumana!
'cIor,ous, uncomfortable. Also instructive, showing
what careful pronouncers the Britons are applause
| cheers cries Of "Yuh, Yuh") and why they shun
our Panama Exposition. Weeks and weeks tncy
| would have to Roumanla Rather than FISK ire
purity of their speech they resolve to make aesur
ance drubly pshaw.
whv these ribald comments on the recent pulpit
adventures of Mr.. Harry Lauder? They seem unfair
No one grumbes If A preacher turns comedian LOT
the nonce Even that very eminent divine 81
Paul could have his little joke.
And vet the minute a humorst rises TO preach
I'D goes jeerng chorus of ION, come no"s' AS
If a humorist had faith! No falth. why DC
loved can you name wretch anywhere on the
earth's surface who needs faith more and chnss
TO II harder?
Hearing no protests lapse into the personal
and confessional. Ere our innocence was imposed
upon at the railway station and lured away INTO
this life of sin religious as the dickens
since when we have gone In Tor relsloh 'o' e''''
and sleeper than before.
So we quite understand the Reverend Harry
and cannot Join I'm the jcering Besides We
respect his cloth. a trife too High Church perhaps
Vet isn't II magnificent?
The Jolly white man who has lived for years among
the Wild Africans IN Africa reports that they possess
really very wonderful language Think Of it-sev-
enteen genders, Oh the glad, the golden the uplft-
ing opportunity for an African Robert ". Chamoers
At this point permit US TO introduce fe" pigs
So timely. Brother Fitch has launched ne"
masterpiece and with the best IN the house We
trust christened It The Patrician Pig Mayor
Gaynor still RACES against the ond-seat variety Ana
scarce a rainy evening passes but some one In the
vagrant touring car quotes: Green pigs FAR from
home"
Then when a nngcrboard looms up ahead. every
heart leaps At last, salvation But II Is an Iegole
fngerboard. there in the and the gloom The
chauffeur wades through revolving mud, deciphers
the inscription letter by letter and shouts to those
brcathless listeners: Pigs for sale"
Noble this reign Of widespread piggncss' Tnousn
IT may seem a good deal like painting the lily we
feel constrained adorn the occasion with positively
the pggiest poem known to polite literature Lend
an ear to the Laureate of pigdom Thus he squeals
A little pig
With a curly tail
And a satiny skin
All pinky pale.
Is a very different
Thing 10y far
From the Jumps OF .niquity
Big pigs
Drawing il mild The is the sentIest of rebuking
prophetsl Brother Bsbee informs in "Lippn-
colts" that the thread Of stories is very
coarse
So II is and we think it a sad waste finer
thread-l2O let us say-should support that brand
Of story so slight It is. Always the same. too
she went to the dogs, and wasn't it beautiful"
sWeetly placid soul is Miss Alice Brown. yet
terrible when reused Woo-woo! Only hear what
her hero says to his militant hancee in the August
Atlantic:
you're discouraging me frghtfully all Of YOU
Don't you see what you're proving? You've reverted
You've gone back 10 the Oldest type OF all. the
woman that cries till she gets il. that won't let any
peace settle on house till she is given her way
That type used to say to it's husband or lover, I'll
cry all night IL you don't back down."
Let the above asterisks represent advice TO
good brave hopeful Mr. lnez. Were we indicate
enough To print II out brazenly II might read.
Hide your Atlantic for future reference. but not
in the place where she has hidden hers.
The lady who has just undergone TRANSMISSION of
blood tells the reporters she felt strange physical
psychology" Attention linguists' Perchance this
reveals the true and only effectual means of ac
curing foreign language. We have long believed
that gill or Of Gallo gore would help us 10
parey-voo. X l.. h.