The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-28

Punch and Judy.
Boiled Beef and HorSeradish.
ART and 'arf
Hamlet and Ophelia.
Furniture and Undertaking.
From the HickeyviIIe Clarion.
Mr.. Chet Binks, our gentlemanly and
congenial paperhanger and decorator,
has orders to paint Hold Peters house
he started early one morning and got
Hi Spinks house half painted before
he discovered his mistake. Hold and
Hi are both madder'n wet hens Hod
has sent Hi a bill for the paint, and Hi
says Hold can go to tophet and if he
amt satisfied let him come and take
his paint back Chef is visitin' rela-
tives down to the city.
Rev. Hanks of the Hard Shell church
expects to start on his vacation in the
near future and shingle barn for An
son Frisby and also do some paper
hanging for Mr.. and Mrs. Jay Higgins.
Last Thursday night folks thought it
was spring sure for crickets was yeI1in'
all evening. They found out later, how
ever, it was only Bud Hicks settin' on
the front stoop of the flour mill windin'
his new dollar watch. Buds new
watch is guaranteed to run one year.
Bud says by ginger it ought to, because
it takes about one year to wind it up.
Mr.. Hold Peters bought a 2-cent
and envelope last week. What's the
lady's name, Hold? Miss Lutte Bibbin's
rat bit Elmer Sphinx on the nose quite
bad while they was playin' drop the
handkerchief at the candy pull at the
parsonage Wednesday evening. Uncle
Ezra Harkins went to sleep back of
the stove and somebody put a lump
of hot candy in his whiskers, but he
amt found it out yet. Special Sunday
dinner at the Hotel Hickneyville next
Sunday. Jelly roll on the table.
The Ladies' Literary society has
started a crusade against the smoke
nuisance and Grandma Bibbins has
been warned to throw her pipe away.
Amos Butts, undertaken, also livery,
feed and sales stables, is hauling wood
in the hearse this week, funerals be-
ing some scarce at this writing.
Mrs Hank Tumms threatens to
have an operation for appendicitis, and
Mrs Arson Frisby's throne as society
leader totters.
Hold Peters has got broom stuck
in the whip socket of his buggy to
indicate that his bay mare beat Dea-
con Stubs roam gelding in the race
home from Elihu Prindle's funeral
last week.
Bud Hicks and Hi Purdy are fast
friends, and there are those who say
they are too fast for our town.
There are several other ways of
getting rich quick besides workin' on
a newspaper.
Aramiah Tilson, our gent1emanly
and congenial tonsorial artist, lent his
razor to Abijah Wicks of the Hotel
Hickeyville for to cut some ham for
some sandwiches and a trayelin' drum
mer who dropped into the barber shop
to get shaved had to wait for 10 min
utes while Am ran up to the huttel
and got it. Miss Lutte Bibbins made
some cookin' school doughnuts the
other day and Grandpa Bibbins is car
ryin one in his pocket to scratch
matches on.
Uncle Ezra Harkins kin remember
back quite a ways. He says he has
ton except Washington's and he
wouldn't have missed that only he
was in Jail at Tombstone, Ariz., at the
time for stealin' a photograph. The
only thing that lends any truth to
the story is that Uncle Ez says he
was in jail. The high school aluminium
give a banquet at the hotel last Fri
day night and charged a dollar a
plate. Hank Tumms says it was a
snide as they wouldn't allow him to
take his plate home with him after
payin' his dollar for it.
Doc F'risby advertises himself as |
painless dentist. but we notice he is |
laid up with rheumatic once in awhile |
Just the same. Miss Amy Pringle, our /
up-to-date trimmer, has just received |
a new set of barbed wire hat frames !
direct from Paris Oll). She has also |
a new blonde trimmer from |
down to the city. Who ever see a I
blonde that wasn't light-headed? Hold |
Peters says he is probably the strong
est union man in these parts as he fit |
for the Union in 1861 to 1865. Miss |
Amy Pringle has more hair some days |
than others. Some days she has got |
enough to stuff a parlor sofy and other
days she hasn't got enough to fill a
violin bow.
The oyster supper given by the La
dies Aid in the basement of the Hard
Shell church was quite a success. One
Teller found an oyster. Since Amos |
Higgins has been the town night
watch, he amt been Troubled much
with insominy. There was quite fire
panick a the meetin' house last Sun
day mornin' during service Hank
Tumms was sittin' in the back seat
next to the stove and just when Rev.
Hanks said, Repent We sinners before
it is too late or you will perish in the
etedna1 fire." Hanks celluloid collar
caught fire and blazed up like a cam
paign hambeau. Hanks hair was all |
singed off and he had to run out doors |
and jump head first into a snowbank
to squench the flames. Hank says the !
Rev. gets too personal with his SER
mons.
QUAKER Ml-DTTATJONS