The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-01-17
On the Spur of the
Moment.
By Roy K. Moulten.
Caught on the Fly.

l
About the only thing they haven't
found in the ruins of Pompeii is a let
ter from John ID. Archibald to some Ro-
4 man out West says it is possible
TO dress on $50 year. Yes. and an Es-
kimo can do il even cheaper than that.
| A Newark woman has tried ten times
to commit suicide. She might try
writing for the magazines and starving
! to death.
A Chicago professor says girls should
be taught how to cook. Some men
are mighty unreasonable. Next he
will cay they should learn how to darn
A West Virginia girl tagged a trian
last week and prevented q wreck;
| Fortunately she was an old-fashioned
Applicants for Carnegie hero med
ais must, according TO the new ruling.
roic act. Too late for the hero who
invented the noiseless soup spoon.
Chief Firemaker. who claims he is
dians when they did something be-
side playing football;
den in which they can't raise anything
One person in every no in this coun-
sy Reep on tse StSer Toe dodghs
Castro and Diaz would not be OPP
posed to. Carnegie's plan to pension all
University of Pennsylvania pro-
lessor says students eat too much,
but the food trust is gradually curing
them of the habit.
Spain should establish a sinking
fund for the new navy.
An English aviator had been fined
for running into a COW and killing her.
Aviation in England apparently has
not reached very high stage,
Secretary of Agriculture Wilson says
ne will retire March next. This is
one of the best guesses the secretary
ever made.
pension idea by giving all the ex-Vice-
Presidents hero medals.
Mr.. Carnegie has been elected an
honorary member OF the Convicts I'M
provement Society. There is some doubt
as 10 whether the society wants a medal,
d pension or a library,
France is in the throes OF pres
idential campaign. and there rs some
Mas Club.
a place in the Wilson Cabinet, as Is
talked. nobody will ever be able 70 pre-
dict with any degrees of certainty what
New York dispatch says one of the
foreign nobleman kissed his nance on
the dock Why not on the cheek. W.,
son so long 10 pass a given point in
parade as It did President Taft;
Mr. Short of Cincinnati. has Just
been married If the high cost of living
keeps up he will be shorter than ever.
Another thing which puzzles pater
fanilldS is tnaI the new SnAt 70
cost more than the old loose ones, with
only about half the material used
a French savant says man mas SIX
times more lung capacity than he needs.
IL is hard TO believe this of Mr.. Bryan
or Ebert Hubbard
a Boston pastor says couple can
marry on SIS week. Sure, they can
marry on it. II cost only - to do that.
An Eastern society advocates noise
less homes But what is home without
photograph?
a general war ia predicted in Europe.
Well Europe certainly has the generals
Heard in the Fifth Grade.
A semaphOre Is young man VINO
is in his second year in college.
A parallel is two lines that can never
meet unless they are bent
A skelington is framework OF Dones |
without any body on 1t
There are POS bones in the human
body unless a man Is bonehead, and
then there are 207.
An autocrat - man VINO KNOWS
how to repair automobiles
Diplomacy is the art of saying some !
thing that you don't mean 10 some |
body who doesn't believe 1t.
Customer-Young lady. how do you
sell your cream puffs?
Cierk-Heaven only knows.