The Washington times., 1913-03-09
WEHAVE WITHUS
THE JOB
1ovn nverrn With Gentlemen From Back Home Looking for
"Pie"-Wison Saw EN- First, Though and Now It's
Up to Cabinet Chiefs.
Bv THEODORE TILLER.


We have with us today the job hunt
ers. This pestiferous and persistent spe-
cies of man infests the National Capitai
at every change in Administrations IN
habiting particularly the regions au'
cent to the White House and the seNe'a
Government departments. The De''
cratic job hunters are especlahy oot"ei
some: they are lean and cadaVerous'
hearing evidences of much wandering III
the wilderness and of long fasting
With this general preamble 1t may De
stated without fear of contradiction OF
f,cial or otherwise, that this town is
oyerrun with gentlemen who are look
in, for ..pie." Woodrow Wilson hadn't
heen in the White House twenty-four
hours before he glanced out of the front
window and noted long line OF peoeS-
trians and cabs approaching the Execu-
tive offices.
81 thought the parade was over, ne
is said to have muttered. scared like
That's the 5th of March parade. ex-
plained an attache who had been around
the White House since Grover |ie'e-
lands time. They want jobs
Hastily summoning his secretary, the
new President dictated statement,
which was promptly given out 10 tne
local papers, the general effect OF Whlch
was that Mr.. Wilson couldn't be both-
cred with applicants for jobs; that the
job hunters in New Jersey had con-
sumed much time while the Princeton
! ian was governor of that State, and,
| furthermore. that jobs under the new
! Administration would be dispensed
largely under the direction OF the
| heads of the several Government de-
partments.'
Office-seeker Stricken Dumb.
| In short time the papers came out in
black headlines saying: New President
Refuses to See Job Hunters: No Ap-
| plicant Received Unless by Personal
| Invitation of Mr.. Wilson: Must Present
Claims to Presidents Advisers"
| The very suggestion struck the office
! seekers dumb for five minutes. Here
the nation had a Democrat: President,
the first in twenty years, and he shuts
the White House door right in the face
of the man who helped elect him. Busi-
Eess of wringfng of hands and agonizeo
glances heavenward. Then they all
broke posthaste for the Executive de.
partments. storming the doors of ten
| hapless Cabinet officers who had just
gotten jobs themselves.
| he President has made no detailed
explanation of the process of reasoning
age through the heads of the Executive
| Departments. 1t Is probable, however
| that 1t was like this:
! Now. there's just one of me and
| there are ten Cabinet officers. / should
| worry-why? Let Burleson and Red
| field and Lane and the other fellows
sort out these office-seekers."
SO he broke all precedents and shooed
away from the White House such hope
full Democrats as had congregatcd
| with the city might buy a guide book
| for 25 cents and learn the most direct
| route to the Executive department,
wherein lay their transferred hopes.
They're Simply Flabergasted.
Indignation meetings are in progress
Oh the street corners. Politicians who
have looked longingly forward to a new
order of things, to a time when the
Democracy might come into its own, are
absolutely fiabbergasted
! why. it's worse than when Grover
Cleveland was President" they say.
He kept lot of Republicans in Office
Republicans who hadn't done a blamed
thing to elect him-and now Wilson
sends us off to see some Secretary OF
| something"
And the trouble is that President Will
son is observing his own rule to date.
Two Senators trudged up to the White
House day or SO ago ito see about
that little matter of a district attorney
ship in our State"
| Il am sorry, gentlemen, but / must
obey my rule: refer you to the Attor-
ney General"
How can a mere Cabinet officer-an
| appointee-appreciate the sacrifices of
! TamaPr2fG q
! who worked to elect Woodrow Wilson
and who now seek their reward? How
can you win a Cabinet officer by say
ing: Wilson wouldn't have been Presi.
dent If il hadn't been for the grand old
state Of Bliss, which remained stead
fast at Baltimore. And who made the
! steadfastness steadfsst? Why, II was
Tom Jones. who now only wants to be
collector of the port"
! These arc parlous days, and tbs a
most distrcssful condition.
A Study-"Ihe Job Hunter"
when the Inauguration was over, twc
classes Of citizens returned to theil
h0rnes-those Who didn't want anything
from the new Administration and thcsf
! who had railroad far back. Three
CLASSES remained in Wa shingtOn--t1C
| JOB hunters, those Who went 'hrc'Se.
and the worth while officials Of State,
who wanted TO pay their "respects."
Eventually. the visiting Officials and
the broke" contingent will get out al
the Capital The ofhce-seekers viii stay
as long az hope Gickers in the humar
breast and as long as there rernains al
untitled post. be it ambassador to Great
Britain or elevator man I'm the BureaI
| Of Plant Industry.
| The average job-huntcr IL PSYCHIC,
| logical study. He reaches town some
days IN advance of the inauguration
|