davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18

appointed Committee to take
1t back and introduce 1t to a SINH
lar Committee appointed by the
House OF representatives. You
see, IL the Senate had just sent it
back the House of Representa-
tives would never have recognized
it,,
But the House of Representa-
tives got it up in the first place.
didn't they?'
"Sure they debut they made
one mistake"
What was that?"
They didn't write it in indeli-
Bile ink"
what did these new Commit
tees do?"
Technically speaking. they
went into conference"
"Oh, see--to sort of arbitrate
their differences-a kind of give
and take proposition, is that it?'
YES. that's 1t. in round num-
bers-but II either Of the Commit
tees went into conference with the
idea OF giving anything. they
neglected to make mention of the
fact to the Associated Press"
What was the net result of the
conference?"
They both got what they
wanted"
And the people?'
Corporal. If you're going to
talk Politics to me. stick to the
text"
THE President signed the Bill.
didn't hep
He did"
s'Whenr
sWhen the House and the Sem
ate refused to have anything fur
Their to do with IT.
And now it's q Law?"
At guess it must be-"
'sWhy?"
Because read in this morn
ings paper they have already
discovered a way to beat 1t. and
that's one of the surest signs I
know Of. Corporal"
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18
Px@rlagf SIS s
Quotations.

the mayor. 81 scolded him for his
stupidity. I grumbled about the in
competency of the clubs servants.
Then I said: Now. hereafter you be
more careful. George He took his
scolding meekly. but replied. My
name isn't George. IT'S Harold"
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18

orth-welL get of there; want
to talk to my wife.
X X
Orth-You're hero.
Mack--No; I'm sick man.
X X
Mack-where Is this place?
Orth-Right down here-a little
walk-ahout 81 miles. Follow me.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18

MACK gave you back your money.
Orth--Yes.
Mack gave you back your cigar.
Orth-Yes.
Mack-You don't care II keep that
wine drank, do you?
n
Mack-call your shots. call your
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18
Lines That Draw Laughs From OPPORTUNITIES

shots. That's what I get for not hav-
ing my rear light lit.
\
Orth-If you were a woman and
were single-thee would propose that
thou be thy's wife.
Mack-If thou were a woman and
thy were single-thouest would re-
fuseth thee.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18
"Here's Your Hat, Why Hurry"

in his and got him down his knee
gazed and heavcd signs
when loves well timed he started twas thus the
twelve times clock bells
fault
aieht past Geht me-
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18

part OF your apparel which comes
in closest contact with Park
bench. A frock coat covers
multitude of skins"
THE Democrats passed the re-
cent Tariff Law, didn't theyr
They didn't exactly pass it-as
I understand 1t. they bounced 1t
through Congress"
why didn't the Republicans
object? 1t seems to me that they
had perfect right to criticise."
They did object. but the Demo-
Gratis didn't hear them. You
know. Corporal. you can'ts even
sell Patent Medicines II the
crowd is across the Street going
into moving picture show. When
they started to criticise, Mr.. I'm
derwood told them that unless
he had been misinformed, the
Department OF Criticism was the
one branch OF our National Gov
eminent now under the control OF
the Republican Party. And. as
far as he was concerned. he was
perfectly willing to concede 1t
to them
OBJECT ONLY WHEN
yOIJ,yE GOT VOTES
What happened them"
'The Republicans objected to
the remark. got excited
"And?"-
"And Underwood put his motion
before. the House and made It
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1913-10-18
The Muse of che
Hlandh01dSmg Age

a La 7alcum :.
Did you ever kiss a grille,
One with lips OF reddish hue,
With the purest of complexion.
Hair OF brown. and eyes of blue?
Did she lean upon your shoulder
Look into your eyes and smilcs
Did your heart go humping, humping,
Leaping, beating all the while?
Did you dwell in realms ethereal,
In the realms of heavily bliss,
AS your lips to hersswere pressing
In loving, lingering kiss?
Hold now, do not leave, but answer
Answer naught but what is true
Did the color leave her face, and,
Tell me, DID 1T STICK TO YOU!
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
RICH ALlMONY D0DGER
GIVEN UP BY B0NDSMEN

Hackensack. n. j., July 1.-THE four
bondsmen Of Henry q. Moore, the rich
alimony dodger, OF Philadelphia, New
York, Rutherford. New Haven, and now
Of Hackensack. officially surrendered him
before Vice Chancellor Lewis at Jersey
City this morning, and Moore must look
elsewhere for men 10 furnish $4,000 bail
while his wfe's suit 10 recover $500
Gack alimony is pending.
\ bit Of a sensation developed during
the hearing. Thomas Haight, counsel for
George c. Tenant, one Of the bondsmen'
openly accused Bernard Hess, Of New
York. counsel for Moore, Of sharp prac-
tice and charged him with being respon-
sible for Moore skipping his New Jersey
bail. Nice-Chancellor Lewis finally ac-
cepted the charges. and told Hess that
the rule was granted compelling him to
show cause why he should not be ad-
judged guilty Of contempt.
Hess was about the first 10 visit Moore
on Saturday, after the Philadeiphan had
been locked up In the Hackensack jail.
Hess was privileged to talk with Moore
after producing his card, and a few min
u,es later the lawyer presented an order
for Moore's 500 diamond ring, signed by
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
Because They Were Jus1
Peaches and Cream
She Set Them to
Manual Labor.

Two young maldens who will make
their debut next winter were asked q
spend tha early part Of the summer with
a spinster aunt who owns large farm
with an old Colonial house thereon,
which was quite famous I'm her younger
days for the house parties given by her
parents. for which the bellies and boauN
of Old New York's society ang.cd for
invitations.
After the visit had extended from the
original two weeks into five. with re-
quest i'm q brief ultc 10 Mother. please
!et us stay longer. we are very busy.
mother decided TO 20 and see for herself
what charm her sister-iu-law. an ancient
enemy, was exercising over her children
TO interest them to such an extent I'm
rural affairs.
ON arrivr no loving daughters met
her at the home; only the spinster aunt
beamcd welcome. with such beam that
the mother suspected much lay behind
IT,. AfCer the trip to her room. where
flowers from Dolly and Molly were In
abundance, sne asked rather 'tartly why
they had been allowed 10 forget she was
coming. that she had telegraphcd quite
early enough for them 10 have heard the
news at luncheon. Then the bolt fell.
Her UEo darlinss. whose hands and nails
were the pride Of the manicurlst were
bulidiag bungalow and went off daily
at q. m, with dinner pals, a maid,
and the oldest retainer on the place, TO
superintcnd the job.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
TO SWEEP NEW ENGLAND
Boston "SuffS" to Invade Cor.
niSh and See Many Mayors.

! Boston suffragists will start to-day on
midsummer dash for the pole" in
which they wifi visit the summer White
, House. in Cornish. ~ H.. and cndeavor
10 get the signatures of Miss Margaret
and Miss Jessie Wilson. both of whom
have expressed sympathy with the suf-
! frage cause to the petition which is to
I be presented TO Congress on July 80.
/ The expedition which is I'm command
Of Mrs Susan Walker Fitzgerald, corre-
| spending secretary OF the National Amer
lean Woman Suffrage Association. will
not be SO dashing but that il can go into
the highways and byways of New Eng
land looking for governors and mayors.
Mrs. Fitzgerald bears letter from
Governor Foss Of Massachusetts to the
five other New England governors. ask
ine them To be good TO the vote hunters.
ard she has also an open letter To all the
mayors OF Massachusetts from Mayor
Fitzgerald OF Boston. Local suffragists
all over New England are making prep
arations 10 receive the expedition with
due honors.
Cornish. the summer capital and home
Of many celebrities. has one OF the lars
est suffrage associations i'm New Hamp-
shire. II was founded by Mrs. Winston
Churchill, wife of the novelist. in whose
home President Wilson's family are stay
ing.
Miss Anne Parrish, sister OF Maxhed
Parrish. the artist. is the secretary. and
among the members are Mr.. and Mrs
Percy Macfaye Norman Hapgood, Ho
mer St Gaudcns and Wyltol Bynner
Having covered every state i'm New Eng
land, the suffrage "dashers'' viii arrive IN
New York on Friday. July % en- route to
I Washington, where the polls are sup
posed 10 be located In the pockets OF
United States Senators. New York sui
fragists, under the direction Of Mrs Mary
Ware bennett and Mrs. James Lees LAID
law, are arranging an automobile parade.
All suffragists who own or can borrow
automobiles are invited to join the caval-
cade at the state line, near Greenwich,
Conn. where the "dashers" will be en-
tertained at luncheon. The entrance into
New York viii be made about o'clock,
with a parade down Fifth avenue and a
mass meeting at the Plaza or Madison
Square.
The dashers' will represent FIVE Mas
sachusetts suffrage organizations-the Ma
tional the Massachusetts Woman Suf-
! frage Association, the Collegiate Equal
Suffrage League the Political Equality
Union and the Mems League for Woman
/ Suffrage. Thomas Kicker of the Mems
| League. and Joseph August, Of the Poli,l.
cal Equality Union. will do all the tire
mending for the ladies. but Will not in
I sist on driving while passing through
main streets.
| The other members of the expedition
are Joseph f. Kelley. Or. Eliza Taylor
| Ransom, Miss Mathilde 4. Frazer a
teacher in the Girls Latin School. ana
Miss Margaret Murphy. The four women
will carry yellow and white suffrage par.
asois and toy suffrage banks for the re
lief Of persons suffering from too much
/ money. They will distribute special
suffrage leafiet written for the expedition,
telling how easy 1t would be TO get votes
for all the women of all the states 10y the
medium Of a federal amendment.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15

Moore. Because Of the scandal concerning
the exchange of ownership of some of
Moore's valuable diamond rings when he
was III custody in Hackcnsack two years
ago. Under Sheriff Heath refused to ac-
cept the order. but took the diamond
and handed 1t to Moore
Here's your ring, and If YOU want to
give II to this mar YOU may do so. for
won't said the under sheriff. Moore
then gave the ring to the New York law
yer.
The facts that an effort is already being
made to have Moore transferred to the
Hackensack Hospital and that County
PHYSICIAN Armstrong has twice examined
Moore but refuses TO make a statement,
gives the case more local color. IL was re-
marked to-day that Moore never needs
hospital accommodations until placed
under arrest. He has not been in hos
plldl since he left Hackensack. two years
ago. after spending several thousand dol
lars for his four months stay in a hos
pltal here. II is a certainty that he will
nave little opportunity of spending much
OF his income of 5000 u month so long
as he remains in the Hackensack Jail.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
FRIED CHICKEN.HOT BISCUIT
DIET UPHELD BY AUTHORITIES

cate stomach. So it is with fried chicken
and hot brcad-for most stomachs they
are very good. All depends on the stom-
acn." said Mr.. Lattard, as he bowed and
retired TO cOncoct another new dish TO
tickle the palates of New Workers.
Miss Kittredge asserted that she knew
Southern school where the girls are
fed on hot bread and fried chicken, and
do well on them
But that's a different climate from
this. and the southern mothers approve
of that diet, while Northern mothers
wouldn't" she said. Much depends on
the climate-and on the viewpoint. STILL
| have the Northern viewpoint and live
I'm the Northern climate, and | eat hot
biscuits and fried chicken, and flourish on
them. and my stomach's not very strong.
either.
81 shouldn't approve Of them as food
for chi!dren-ccrtalnly not for anamc
children And poor children and anamc
children have the only stomachs I'm an
authority on. haven't "A word to say
against fried chicken and hot biscuits for
grown-ups."
DR. Halton listened to a resume of Mrs
Ralston's remarks before the Indiana
Democratic Editorial Association. and
then asked suspciously:
is she an anti-suffragist? I haven't a
word to say against the delicacies she
recommends" DR. Halton went on. II
know hot breads have been considered
indigestible but that is an exploded no.
al II tpb rig
chicken Is all right for those who like it.
though personally don't want fried
things. As to peach cobbler-if it's an
alcoholic beverage-that's what II sounds
like Being informed that exhaustive
inquiries had led TO the conclusion that II
was a ple-a peach pie baked I'm deep
pan-Dr Halton said the lower crust
would probably be soggy but that
wouldn't kill any one.
But owing 10 the shortness OF the
peach season. ! don't think peach cob
bier has very vital bearing on the wom-
an question she observed "A woman
couldn't stay home baking peach cobbler5
all ths year. because peaches don't last
all the year And deliver us from canned
peaches,
Mrs Ralston's structures don't touch
more than IL per cent Of the women, any
how. because s. per cent OF the people
can't afford fried chicken and peach cob
bier n she had said 'woman's place Is
in the home cooking mutton and pota-
toes she'd have put up a more compre-
hensive argument But ? don't agree with
her that woman should hold the kitchen
her sphere that's what she means. Hot
biscuits are good. but the lightcst ones
ever baked haven't enchantment enough
10 make II worth while for a woman to
heat up her stove and herself baking
them three times day FOR her family
our bread can come from the bakers now
there arc too many other things for
women to do
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
SPINSTER AUNT PLAYS LEADING
PART IN NIECES' EDUCATION

The aunt had decided a point % land
that had bay Of salt water on one side
and clear brook on the other 10 these
two Youngsters. with the proviso that
they build the bungalow, doing the sim
pie carpenteriug work. and as much Of
the plastcrlng as they could manage-no
work from ladders In their contract /
She had given a "frolic' for the raising.
and had given three portable bungalows
To- be- put together. also men for the
heavy hitting: all they were actually do
ing was the flooring, etc. and the trim
mlnEs and porch.
Mother almost tainted and asked
Why"
To this the answer was. They came
here sweet girls. but simply form OF
peaches and cream. When this house is
done they are To have a cooking course
there. and will take on the little Kitchen
garden | have had made. and II they cdA
stay all summer they VIII have more
than society in their heads.
BY the way continued this Spartan
spinst,r. "the maid with them is French.
Their French was atroc!ous. 50 | am rec
tifying that. for the women has beau
tiul accent and is making them see
their errors Common French does
stamp a woman, and especially IN these
DAYS. when most people are particular.
She Is also teaching them to mend and
10 cmbroidcr was surprised to hnd
they could not sew at all. and YOU made
all your own clothes before YOU married
brother jeremiah.
They also have TO read their Bible
daily which they hnd a task, to my re-
sret. and they are anxious To know all
about the dairy and butter and cheese
making, which will come after the cook
ing course. / am going TO ieave them
this place II they do well, but do not
tell them. As to the good this air has
done them. see for yourself for there
they come. ! sent the spring wagon an
hour ago TO bring them quickly
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
What Wife of the Governor
Of Indiana Said Due
to'Become Amer
can Classic.

What the wife of the Governor OF Ind
lana said on Saturday about hot bis
cults, fried chicken and peach cobbler
seems likely to become as much of a
classic as what a certain Governor said
TO the Governor of a neighboring state
about its being a long time between
drinks Mrs. Ralston knew what she
was talking about when she hit on fried
chicken and hot biscuits as tidbits be
loved of the American heart Not a
soul could he found in New York yester-
day to say aught against them-eXcept
Dr Mary Halton, who declared that 1T
ruined chicken to fry It," And DR. Hal
ton was feeling annoyed because Mrs.
Ralston said fried chicken and hot bis
cults and peach cobbler gave the essen
tials of a home. and woman's place was
home cooking them. DR.. Halton is a suf-
fragist, and as she stated to reporter
When machinery is introduced into
woman's work as ii has been into mans.
we'll get our hot biscuits through "A
chute"
Yes. everybody smacks his lips and
forgets 10 hint dyspepsia when you in
terview him about hot biscuits and
fried chicken Peach cobbler though,
appears To be one Of those Southern
dishes that haven't travelled North. DR.
Halton wanted TO know If IL was an al
coholic beverage. Miss Mabel n. Kit
tredgc. head Of the Association of Prac-
teal housekeeping Centres. said that
she hadn't come across 1t in her expert
ence and therefore couldn't give an opin-
ion As to its diGestibility. Even Nestor
\. l. Lattard. of the Plaza. admitted
that peach cobbler was one on hint
had never appeared on the menus of the
hotel of which he is gastronomic boss
with true French pOlIteness Mr.. Lattard
lvowcd that the hot bread and fried
chicken adored by Americans. being dis
tinctivoly American, were most excellent
dishes
"One should not eat fried chicken per-
haps every day" he said cautiously. II
YOU eat partridge each day for month
YOU -row very tired of II, yes. Change
change is the thing ] find the Ameri-
cans want those things which tickle the
palate. and it is quite right. rdhits like
fried chicken give a coming appetite.
Fried chicken and hot biscuits We never
sec I'm France"
But isn't French cookery more eN-
quisite. more digestible, more?"--
New York" said the diplomatic Mr..
Lattard. leads the world IN cookery
myself" he added. "eat plain food al
ways But then-a heefsteak is PLAIN
food, and beefsteak is very hard TO di-
gcst. You would not give II 70 DELI
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
MRS. CRAWFORD ON BAIL
Insists Poison Charge Was to
influence Civil Suit.

Atlanta. July l4--Mrs Mary Belle
Crawford, arrested yesterday on a charge
Of poisoning her husband, Joshua B. Craw-
ford, an Atlanta capitalist, four years ago.
was released on $3.50 bond to-day.
Mrs Crawford continued to protest her
innocence. declaring that criminal pro-
ceedings had been Instituted against her
e. influence civil litigation pending over
the s25O00 estate left by her husband.
Crawford's heirs at law in suit insti-
tuted soon after his death asked that the
will. leaving the major portion OF the
estate 10 Mrs Crawford. be set aside.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
ADVERTISER ENT.

Portia: You should avoid wrinkles by
protecting your skin against that too
ready tendency TO sag Aside from the
Gabblness. the folds will gradually wrin-
kle your skin and spoil your appearance.
Get an ounce of amozoin, dissolve In y
mint water and add two teaspoons
gIycerine. Stir and let stand one day. Al
low cost, this makes a perfect wrinkle
remover In the form Of a protecting anu
stimulating cream-jelly. 1t Is delightful
70 use and most beautifying In results
an sensitive skins. Use 1t freely, both
before and after exposure To sun and
wind II will not grow hair, but VIII act
as a preventive of the loose sagSiness
which makes wrinkles.
Mother: You are absolutely right III
your desire to have your skin look vel
vety. A splendid thing to use on the race
is this homemade prescription: Get !
ounccs of spurrnax at any reliable drug
store and mix 10 with - pint not water
or witch hazel and two teaspooniuls
rlvcerine. Let stand Till cold. TINS Is q
simple. inexpensive face lotion Whlch WIZ
nrotect your skin against the steam oi
cooking and the dust OF sweeping or tne
winds and hot sun out OF doors. II
,vhitens sallow skins and Is "A great Dcau-
tiGer | recommend IL I'm place OF ordinary
tace powder because IL seems part OF the
skin and gives a youthful glow.
Miss b.: Dandruff Is a common halr
trotIble and is easily remedied. Just make
Vour scalp healthy by this simple, natural
tonic which you yourself can prepare at
slight cost. Get one ounce OF quinzoin
Srom any good druggist Add y pint each
of alcohol and cold water. let stand uEtil
oi,,nzoin is dissolved Rub into hair roots
gS,ith the tips OF the fingers and you viii
ind wonderful aid TO your itching
scaIn II removes dandruff and promotes
= healthy growth of hair. Shampoo ire
quehtly.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
JEALOUS, KILLS HIS WIFE
Shoots Her at Home of Her
Employer, After Separation.

Cattaraugus, y. Y. July H-Mrs. George
Coyer, thirty-fve years old, was shot and
killed this afternoon by her husband at
the home OF Jesse Smith, for whom she
worked rs housekeeper.
Cover was taken 20 the Cattaraugus
County jail at Little Valley. He and his
wife had been separated for some time
and jealousy is believed to have prompted
the crime
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
ADVERTISER ENT.
M Nk 4 The Home Beauty Pa3rlof
6Y Betty Dean

Ethel: / always warn my readers
against egg shampOos. The animal SUD-
stance mixes with the oil OF the scalp
end IL Is almost impossible To get IL out.
Dandruff and loss OF hair are otteh the
result Try this simple homemade ana
economical shampoo: Just get some can ,
throx from your druggist and stir lever
tcnspoonful I'm cup OF hot water. four
this over the head gradually, rubbing III
vcU n leaves the scalp stimulated ana
clcansed. and the hair beautifully soft and
fluffy, making II appear far heavier than
II is. II Is "A most eXhilarating summer
shampoo.
Eileen: Your excessive flesh can easily
be reduced by the simple use or TINS
homemade remedy: Add liz plnts OF
wafer 10 ( ounces Of parnotis (yOu can get
this preparation at any good drug storeD.
Take a tcaspoonful three times a DAY ne
fore meals This rs harmless and yet most
|, effective. especially To those VINO 90 nor
find time for exercise. No special diet is
demanded with this. and IL Is quite mex
pensive.
Economy: don't blame YOU for want
ing some cheap. simple. homemade rem
cdy for your blood and sort OF run-do"i u
feeling. but don't experiment Stick TO
this old-fashioned tonic. At any drug
store get an ounce OF kardcne ana DIS
solve IL i'm = pint alcohol. ada = cup
sugar and enough water 10 make qual /
4 tablespoonful before meals VIII do won .
ders 10 aid digestion, improve appeule
and give you a boost all around IL your
skin is bad this will improve II. FOR a
fine Wrinkle-remoyer see answer TO Portia'
Doris: Her beautiful eyes are not neces-
sarily doctored or made up In any way:
Possibly the reason for their sparkle ana
expression is simply the use OF some such
well-known tonic as this. which you can
make al home Dissolve an ounce OF
crvstos I'm a pint OF water one or TWO
drops I'm each eye every day VIII
strengthen them. rest the sight and re-
lIeve the lids of that Duffy or infiamed
appearance II is inexpensive ana Ell
Betty Dean Beauty Book S.00.-Adv.
New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
GETS MARRIED FOR VACATION
Clerk Did Not Like Idea of Single
Rlessedness on Holiday.
From The Tribune Correspondent

East Orange, y. j.. July 14.-Lawrence
Sturges, a clerk In the tax once OF East
Orange. did not like the idea OF gong
on his vacation trip all alone, he admitted
to-day, when he got back. so he provided
himself with a bride before slipping away
10 the Berkshres for two weeks. They
arr, now living at the home Of the bride
proom's father, George w. Sturges, at
No. 239 Elmwood avenue
The bride was Miss Alice Edna Francis,
daughter OF Harry r. Francis, OF No. Sol
Cauldwell avenue The Bronx. They were
married at her home on July Dy ohc
Rev. Mr. Kephart, pastor OF the con-
gregatonal Church in 15lst street