The Washington times., 1913-11-03
Extracts From Diary
Of a Little Boy
BIZ ALMA WOODWARD.

? II sertenly hard to raze money.
Everybody seems to find itz Job.
kant even make ennything on a
swap nowadays. Pa Is always
shoutin bowt money bein skarse. Ma
got tho habbit wv askin me to waite
till next saterdsy fer my allowance.
Owr hired girl kant even skrape up a
cent to lend me and the grocer an the
bootcher is always coming arownd
tryin to kollekt
Sis Is the ownly bloted millunair in
owr howse. In her tim bank shes got
.72c an a kanadien dime an she thinks
shez got a dollur and haf In the irun
bank in mas dresser but she aint
Cause won day just aftur pa wuz hol-
lerin bowt 1t not CROWN on treez the
lawndree come and ma swiped the dol
lur and a hat sis thinks shez got.
But / woodint skueel on ma Shez
stingy. She kan sit an eet a nikkels
wurth of jelly beans rite under yer
noze without emmy Nv EN- chokin her.
Whenn pa goes to plitikal meetins he
wares a big gold chane with a blak
onux thing on It. Othur times he wares
a fob cauZe itz more klassier but he
SEE yuh gotta look substanshul and
prosperous at plitikal meetins an a gold
watch chane with a blak onux thing on
II makes yuh look like that. An then
ma sez yes an 1t drapes so pritty ovur
yer korporashun tooan then pa kontinus
what she has started.
But I have wandured far frum the
text / wuz sayin money wuz sertenly
hard to raZe SO pa had an idea Of writ
in fer the movin pikshures an he told
the idea to ma an then ma told him
what she thot NV the Idea and then
they were OF agen!
An all the time KEEP kwiet but wuz
thinkin 1t woodint be so wurse fer me
to try it myself SO / kood raze sum
cash fer ice-skates. So aftur dinner
went up to my room to maik up a
movin pikshure and 1 got SO excited
begin aktin It and there wuz cowboys
in 1t an pritty soon the room begin to
look like sumthin had happuned to 1t
an then pa appeared at the door an
then sumthin happuned to me!
But II yuh expeckt to maik succs
in this world yuh gotta maik up yer
mind to get sum hard nocks; 30 stood
It like a stoik an I saved the plkshure
in my brane an I'm goin to send it to-
morrer II 1 kan swipe stamp from
owr hired girl.
This is the story NV the pikshure: y
A pretty girl frum new yawkk goes
owt west to see her bruther and he is
kowboy. An she Is all dressed up in a
white dress an pink ribbuns an she
rides up from the stashun on bronko
an the bronko tries to thro her but she
silks q hat-pin in him to maik him bee
have hisself. Well her bruther Is a
good kowboy and the othur bad kow.
boys hat him bee-cause he wont steel
kattul so they go an lock him up in a
shed bee-cause they think he is goin
to skueel on EN- an he batturs the door
but il wont brake and just then up
rides his sister with her pretty white
dress flyin In the wind on the bronko.
All but what has she got hidden in
her bewtiful pink sash? 1t is a gun, a
visshus pistui what she has brung from
new yawk bee-cauze the cop on the beat
told her to bring it an she up an fires
AT the bad kowboys an she piks em OF
as meet as bufflo bill cauze she has took
iessuns in new yawk an she releases her
bruther an he saves the kattul an the
nan gives EN- the raunch.
CESS maybe. that amt sum exscitln
moyin pikshure. ! bet all the kids in
the caliry will holler. Yuh see surhbody
in the family has got to raze money an
n seems the responsibility wrests on
me Here is sumthin sweet to end with
$50 bee It'll am kontent." Gee, thatz
a hot one an 1 just happuned to think
nf II fWO.)