The Emmett index., 1913-02-06

IS A small boys idea of fine jo
i would be that OF official censor G
Il motion picture films
= + + 4.
The wisest man is likely to max
a mistake, but he isn't the wises
man If he makes another like IL
+ = +
Hetty Green says the secret Of
success lies in being honest and
living on so cents day. No hing
to It. We've tried both.
\ A clothier intimates that ev n
in this highly civilized region there
are men who make their union suit
do the work of pajamas.
Opportunity is the slowest thing
in the world when it is approat h
ing you; but when it is going in the
other direction 1t travels fas er
than light.
Number, please" responded theI
telephone operator. 81 vas ta'kin |
mit my husband" said the woman
at the phone, ''und now | don't
hear him any more. You must of
pushed him off de vire.'
The domestic science class in a
Kansas college declares that live
course dinner can be served for 20
cents. The first course prcbab Y
is fresh air, and the second is
rabbit tracks-but for heavens
sake what are the other three?
There came mighty near b ing
a tragedy in an Emmett barber ,
shop the ether day. A customer
climbed into the chair and when /
he barber asked him if he want '
I'd a shave he said, mo, just a /
haircut; ! use a safety razor And G
sill had to take both hands to b
lold the razor from slipping and t
'utting the mans throat. +
= + + 6
A school teacher was drill 'ng e
Ter composition class in the re- S
ative value of words ard phras s &
he phrase horse serse" was dis G.
ussed, and she told one Of the O
oys to write sentence contain "
n that phrase. The boy laboied for ii
EN- minutes and produced this: d
Father didn't lock the barn door Il
nd he amt seen the horse sense"
+ + +
A man travelling along the Squaw al
reek valley met middle-aged farm OIL
r, who told him his father, aged k,
o, was still on the farm where he tc
as born Ninety years cd, eh?" a
Yep: pops close to 90 ''Is his tt
ealth good?' " Taint much now. al
e's been complainin for a few th
Ionths back" whats the mat al
II with him?" 81 dunno, some pr
mes | think farmin' don't agree 81
ith him" of
he
In the early days rabbits were co
bout all the meat the settlers had. III
,me cured and salted down rab- al
{ hams for spring and summer m
ent, Two cattlemen were talk ne
6 about their early day experience. go
their meeting in town last an
eek, "Do you know" said one, MI
ate rabbit meat till my body te
to be covered with fur tn
ID could fan myself with my me
ss" an
= 4. = CO..
qu
There are several things that no IN,
Tel-headed human being should do ge,
nong these is never to kindle get
e with kerosene. to walk on Re
ilroad track, attempt to board
moving train, point gun or
volver at another. sign his name
another mans note, horde his ,es
cings IN on ala soo,, ',sa bu
,ss, play game of chance will wy
stranger, run for oio
lice when he has position which va
ords a living income or call Vi
IN bigger than himself a liar. wa
wa
The Index swelled UP a few MORN the
IS ago when we started to open str
r morning mail. In the upper on
'ner of one large envelope was rag
; inscription, From John D. but
ckfeller, 26 Broadway, New cli1
rk." Visions Of untold prosper sid,
leaped up instanter Gosh him up
4. A letter from John d. What tho