davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
FACE FULL OF PIMPLES

Rufln, N. C.-"My face became full
of pimples and blackheads, and
would itch, burn and smart. The skin
was rough and red. was really
ashamed of my face. My arms and
back we're affected almost as badly.
The pimples would tester and there
would come dry scab on top, The
trouble caused my face to be distig-
ured badly and the itching would both
er me so could not sleep well nights,
especially during warm weather.
The trouble lasted me three long
years without anything doing me any
good until a friend told me about Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment and then
decided to try them. After the first
application | could see some improve
ment. After using Cuticura Soap and
Ointment two weeks ! did not look
like the same person; most Of the
pimples had disappeared. At the end
of four weeks was completely
cured" (Signed) Miss Mamie Mitch
ell, Jan, 8, 1913.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
REALLY CLEVER OF JOHNNY
Unfortunate Mr.. Smith Had to Join
In the Laugh That Followed dag
nosls Of Small Boy.

Reference being made at a banquet
some time since to the wonderful say
ings of the youngsters. Gov Ben W..
Hooper of Tennessee was reminded
of the innocent remark of a little
Nashville boy.
One afternoon, the governor said,
the little boy returned from school
complaining that he had q stomach
ache. His mother explained that the
ache was due to the fact that his
stomach was empty, and that he
would feel better If he had something
in it,
Two evenings later young man
called to see little Johnny's sweet
sister. Sitting in the parlor, waiting
for the family to retire, the young
man remarked that he had head
| ache.
Il know what's the matter with it
Mr.. Smith" exclaimed Johnny, with
great promptness.
DO you really, johnny" indulgent
! ly smiled Mr.. Smith.
YES" was the startling explana
ton of Johnny, Its empty. Yout
feel better If you had something ir
! IT,"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
GOOD SAMPLE OF RURAL WIT
Joke That Had Excellent Humor
Without a Single Touch or
Thought Of Malice.

II there is a difference between
rural wit and any other kind, it is this
that rural wit is mellower in flavor.
In this 1t resembles English wit; the
rough corners have been rounded off
by the attrition of years, and more
nearly perfect jokes result.
Ira Beasore drove into town just
before the big rain the other day, and
he saw Orlo futile setting tubs and
barrels under all the spouts around
his house. So Ira pulls up and hol-
lers at Orlo:
Hey, Orlo! What we doin'T'
Looks like rain, an I'm a-settin'
out these tubs SOS the woman can
have some soft water fer her washin
Monday" answers Orlo, all innocent
like and not thinkin' about what q
great colder Ira is
"Sho" says Ira you won't git nc
soft water"
why won't II"
"Cause it's going to rain hard
Haw- haw-haw! Git-ep!"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Remembered Thrifty Teachings.

A woman who was left to the task
OF bringing up two small children be-
gan early to train them TO consider
necessities above all else. They
could always look back to a home
trimming with comfort, although the
furnishings we're simple enough. They
bad warm clothing in winter and thin
clothing in summer, and as they assa-
ciated with the children OF wealth
they must have been thoroughly pre-
sentable. Habits are strong, but
sometimes they can be broken. The
son was the first to go out into the
big world and he easily learned new
ways of spending The daughter pre-
served her sensible, thrifty ways to
the last and she is drilling them into
children of her own by teaching the
value Of a bank book in addition to
what she learned in her own child
hood.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
What She Wanted

One day in the spring the orphans
from the asylum were taken in motor
cars out to the park A society WON
an accompanied by her stylish little
daughter, was driving through the
park in a big limousine car. They
stopped and watched the procession
of little orphans, and the mother ex
planned that the little boys and girls
had no homes and no fathers or moth
ers.
After she had finished she discov
cred that her little daughter was al
most crying, and her eyes were filled
with tears.
why, what's the matter, dearest?'
she asked
"Oh, mother, was the sobbing re
ply, Il want to be an orphan. Can
I?'-Harper's Monthly.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
TARIFF ExUDED FROM SERENO PAYNE

Can you remember as far back as
the Payne tariff? That's a long time
ago and a whole lot of things have
happened, but in those days Serene
Payne of New York was the Oscar
Underwood of the day. Serene was
supposed to carry more secrets con.
corning manufacturers and rates and
imports and to have a broader view
of this perplexing and brain-benumb-
ing tRriff thing than any man alive.
Now in those old days, when Sc
reno sat at the head of the tariff
table, you couldn't get near him.
He would almost bite you. He was
so full of tariff that 1t exuded from
him, but at that no one could APP
proach him with a quiz without run.
ming the risk Of an imperial stand
pat" Republican frown. Newspaper
men trembled when they had to ask
him a question.
Augustus Hayward, a correspon.
dent of big New York paper, want.
ed to get a word of information from
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
REAL MERIT HAS MADE
BONDS LIVER PILLS

household word through the South.
We have spared neither time nor
money in perfecting BONDS PILLS
for the cure of Headaches, Bilious
ness, Constipation, Malaria, and sim
liar Ills. MERIT was our chief object
Not how cheap" but how good we
could make them.
The extraordinary success of
BONDS PILLS is due solely to their
MERIT, not to loud and misleading
claims of CURING EVERYTHING
Adv
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Who PAYS Taxes?

MY ideas on the tax question have
changed" says a prominent farmer.
81 used to think saloons paid taxes.
They simply collect them, and give
worse than nothing in return. The
license money they pay and that some
near-sighted folks think is such big
thing, comes out OF their customers,
every dollar of it. And then we sober,
ha h-working farmers have to pay
more taxes to keep up expenses OF
courts, prisons, asylums, poor houses
and jails than all the other taxpayer
of the country put together"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Not Practical

In Oregon a law intended to pre-
vent the marriage of the unfit has en-
countered a practical difficulty. 1t
prescribed an examination Of the
blood as a precaution against tuber-
culosis and other diseases, but the
fee fixed in the law was less than
physicians would accept, and they say
that for the work required $15 or $40
would not be too much. If fitness for
marriage cannot be determined cheap
err than that, the Caucasian must be
as Bret Harte put it, played out" II
is unwise to make marriage laws bur
densome.-Springfield Republican.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Too Ear in the Future.

OF favorite child comrade Mr..
Clemens related that they once con
versed together gravely considering
the little girls plans for rearing her
future children, of whom there were
to be two-a boy and a girl. The
girl, naturally enough, was to be
named after her mother Asked what
would be the boys name, the child
answered, "a reproachful look in her
brown eyes:
why, Mr. Clemens, how can
know what shall call him until
know his fathers name?"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Crime Against Nature.

In obedience to Natures laws of
economy and evolution, we owe to the
succeeding generation a healthier
childhood and a more wholesome nur-
sery in which to rear it than we in
hesited from the generation which
preceded us. In debauching manhood
of It's citizenship by authorizing the
sale of alcoholic drink, the state is
robbing the next generation of its
natural birthright, and is itself com,
hitting a crime against Nature-Hon
L. Judson Williams, Judge Of the Su.
preme Court of Appeals, West Vir
ginia.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Increase In HeIaht.

About one-half of the cities and
practically all of rural Norway are
under prohibition. To this fact, 1t is
thought, is due the increase in height
Of recruits to the army between the
years 1880 and 1907, while 1t is true
that in French districts where the
ravages Of alcoholism are most mark
ed, the height of recruits to the army
has diminished
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
MURRAY COMES FROM THE TALL GRASS

Washington will grow accustomed
to calling Representative Murray of
Oklahoma Alfalfa Bill" and it will
not be long before Washington drops
the quotation marks and spells it
plainly Alfalfa Bill is one of the
sights of the new congress and is
the riddle of Oklahoma politics, He
comes from the tall grass and speaks
the language OF a senator while in
the hall of the h.use of representa-
tives, yet he knows the hiu-biily talk
and the cowboy cuss customs, and
,'gets away with any, either or both at
any time or place that he chooses.
Most of the effete fasteners
around Washington think Alfalfa Bill
is a cowboy but he is farmer and
proud of 1t. AS farmes he learned
a great many scenic effects and is
careful about preserving the proper
atmosphere. When he goes out
west to his native ranches he looks
as II he had slept in his clothes for
a month, and no amount of arguing
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Strawberries In Literature.

DR.. William Butler, who died in 1921,
is credited with the origin of the re-
mark about the strawberry. The Lord
might have made better berry than
the strawberry, but he never did"
Thomas Fuller, the English divine and
historian, in his History of the
Worthless of England" that has de-
lighted readers of more than two cen
turtles, styled DR. Butler the Aesculap-
ius of his age. Izaak Walton in THE
Complete Angler said: 1--WE may say
of angling as DIR. Boteler said of
strawberries, Doubtless God could
have made better berry but doubt
less God never did, and so if l might
be judge, God never did make more
calm, quiet, innocent recreation than
angling"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
SAYS "HOG'S EYE" IS ALL RIGHT

Urey Woodson, of Greensboro, KY,
former secretary of the Democratic
national committee, is still of the
opinion that the hogs eye is done
sot" In 1904 Mr. Woodson, then sec
rotary of the national committee, was
so sanguine of the election of Judge
Parker that he would not listen to
any of his friends who suggestel the
possibility of Democratic defeat,
The hogs eye is done sot," declared
Mr. Woodson, using the mountaineer
expression of old Kentucky, After
the overwhelming defeat of Judge
Parker Mr.. Woodson was firm in his
contention that the hogs eye was
"sot," but that 1t was only looking
into the future Now, when politi.
clans meet Mr.. Woodson they do not
joke him.
The hogs eye is surely done
sot," said Mr.. Woodson the other
day The former secretary Of the
national committee was in good
spirits over the confirmation of his
isboro. Mr.. WOodson is not an appli.
q. 1t
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
How students Got Fresh Eaas.


An Indianapolis travelling man wit
messed a novel feast by students of De
Paw university at Greencastle the
other day. He said he was at a station
in that city, and standing near was a
poultry car loaded with live poultry.
The hens were cackling and carrying
on" at a great rate. A crowd of stu
dents stood around the car, and when
ever hen produced a nice, new, fresh
egg student reached his arm through
the side of the car, seized the egg and
made for a nearby store, where he
fried it over a gas jet.
There were at least twenty stu
dents around the car" said the travel
ing man, land the hens kept them
busy all the time was there. l don't
know how many eggs the students got
but it was busy bunch of hens Just
before my train pulled out heard one
student say to another: Gee, | never
ate so many eggs in my life! There
was no question about the freshness
of the eggs"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Strong Argument.

What do you consider the strong.
est argument in favor of prohibition"
was asked Of a jealous apti-saloon
worker, My boys" was the quick
reply. What is your strongest ground
for hope for the triumph of this move
ment?" My boys" was the equally
ready response.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
WIRE FENCING

Both welded and wrapped for stock,
pigs, poultry, garden and lawn, all sizes
per rod Send trial order ROOFING of
all kinds, galvanized and painted steel
rubber and gravel coated. We have a
good rubber roofing for SIC square, all
complete. Send trial order. Mention this
paper. Pidgeon-Thomas Iron Co, 94-96
n, I'd ST., Memphis. Tenn. ADV.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
REVENGE,

do you object to children in this
f1at?"
NOT at all. We merely bar phono-
graphs and lap dogs. Detroit Free
Press
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
RlRI.Ql!!INiiIlVTVTPTT00RIt
e.. t'aN-Ts= = --SJI7
TO TEACH ART OF WAR TO STUDENTS

For the first time in It's history
the war department will hold this
summer two experimental military
Gamps-one on the historic battle.
held at Gettysburg. Pa. and the other
at the Preside. San Francisco-for
the military obstruction of American
university and college students dur.
Ing the vacation period. Secretary of
War Lindley NJ. Garrison has already
issued the order for the encamp-
ments. and officers Of the general
stan OF the army have been for sew
erel weeks busy perfecting the de-
tails which, in the words OF Major
General Leonard Wood. chief Of the
general stan, will have a tremen.
dous influence in reylvifying among
the youth OF this country. especially
the college youth. a proper apprecia-
ton OF each mans responsibility to
the country In time of war"
i am greatly interested" said
General Wood. "in TIE establishment
OF these camps. as | believe they will
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Pale. Emaclated Children

frequently suffer from worms. The
old reliable remedy, Frey's Vermifuge
given on an empty stomach expels the
worms and soon restores the child to
rudy health. 25c. at all dealers-Adv.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
RuR-MY-TlSM

VIII cure your rheumatism and all
kinds of aches and pains-Neuralgia
Cramps, Collie, sprains, Bruises, Cuts.
Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antiseptlo
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Not ALWAYS.

There's always room at the top"
said the Sphinx
Take a look at US and guess
again" replied the Pyramids.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

The man who praises himself is
never popular, especially with the peo-
pie who think he might better be
praising them.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
QUININE AND IRON the MOST
EFFECTUAL GENERAL TONIC
Groves Tasteless chill Tonic Combines both
in TasteIess form. The Quiuine drives
out Malaria and the Iron builds up
the System. For Adults and
Children

You know what you are taking when
you take GROVES TASTELESS chill
TONIC, recognized for 80 years through
out the South as the standard Malaria
Chill and Fever Remedy and General
Strengthening Tonic. 1t is as strong as
the strongest bitter tonic, but you do not
taste the bitter because the ingredients
do not dissolve in the mouth but do dis
solve readily in the acids of the stomach.
Guaranteed by your Druggist. We mean
1t. SOC.
There is Only One 'BROMo QUTNTNE
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

have tremendous influence revvng the youth of this country
especially
billy to the his obligation him
self be able efficiently called believe these camps
will tend mpan colleges higher schools the seeds
of sound military policy policy which ends In mitarm
but policy which reasonable military preparedness
Tn word wish to bring possible of college In
contact wk carefully selected the order that
give them relations the
and also make military and the
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

A conceited man is one who wants
to talk about himself when you want
to talk about yourself.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

He (gushingly)-Your eyes tell me
much
She dcily)-Your breath tells me
more.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

A small boy who doesn't get into
a scrap once in a while has made a
mistake in not being born a girl.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

his kill him politically he The
he appeared Capitol Hill he had suit pressed
a
Oklahoma the
dispatches
fact Bill pressed his
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
RELIEVES PAIN AND HEALS
At The SAME time
The Wonderful, Old Reliable DR.. Porter's
Antiseptie Healing Oil. Prevents Blood
Poisoning. An Antiseptie Surgical
Dressing discovered by an Old
r. R. Surgeon.

Thousands OF families know it already.
and a trial will convince you that DR..
PORTER'S ANTTSEPTIC HEALING
OIL is the most wonderful remedy ever
discovered for Wounds, Burns, Old Sores,
Ulcers, Carbuncles, GRADUATED Eye Lids,
Sore Throat, Skin or Scalp Diseases and
all wounds and external diseases whether
slight or serious. Continually people are
finding new uses for this famous old
remedy. Guaranteed by your Druggist.
We mean it. 25c. SOC. 100
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

A man plays the game Of love for
pastime; a woman plays it to win.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

Representative Payne the
fully into space
Mr..
There
Il beg pardon Mr.. Payne"
All quiet
Il
might
IF it would be trouble Payne"
Nothing happened
Then Gus holder
The terrific
him
Yet all is different AS the nkers
before them Payne smiles smiles smiles He ranking
Republican member the committee written the
minority report He doesn't have to hear and dreary
time while liing
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

Some people indulge in the pastime
of splitting hairs until they haven't
any left.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06
Already SUPPLIED.

An agent for automobiles accosted
a man who was standing In the main
street of the village.
Now, sir" he said persuasivelyi
after recounting the advantages of the
various kinds of cars. Il should say
a nice runabout would be just the
thing Tor you"
Thank you. have one. She's in
this store buying a new gown"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

candidate ooectorshp owerboo WOodson
80 COR any position help his friends
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1913-08-06

There Only QUTE LAXATIVE BRoMo oINJR
Look for signature OF E. W. GROVE box Day 2
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1913-12-20
DnntRHttr 5rtRttrR
Compiled specially for The Catholic Bulletin

slices of lemon dipped in finely cut
parsley may be used as a garnish.
Water Lily Salad
Remove shells from hard boiled
eggs. Cut eggs in halves crosswise
or lengthwise, cutting in such way
that the edges will be cut into sharp
points. Remove yolks, mash and sea-
son with salt, pepper and melted but
ter, or moisten with salad dressing.
Refill whites with yolks mixture and
arrange halves on lettuce leaves.
Serve with cooked salad dressing.
Meat Salad Chicken or veaD-
Remove bones and gristle, and skin
from cold cooked meat. Cut meat
into " inch cubes and mix it with
an equal amount of celery which has
been scraped, chilled and cut in small
pieces. Add salad dressing to
moisten. Arrange on lettuce leaves;
garnish with curled celery.
Waldorf Salad
1 cupful cubed apples,
1 cupful nut meats,
1 cupful celery,
Enough dressing to moisten.
Cut slice from top of green or red
apples; scoop out the inside pulp.
leaving just enough to hold skin in
place. Fill the shells with the salad
mixture and serve on lettuce leaves.
Fruit Salad
2 oranges,
bananas,
" pound malaga grapes,
4 slices pineapple (cubed),
IL walnuts,
Salad dressing to moisten.
Mix with whipped cream or fruit
salad dressing. May be served in
orange cups.
Tomato Salad
8 medium sized tomatoes,
l cupful mayonnaise dressing,
2 cupfuls celery or cucumbers cut
in cubes,
Scald and peel tomatoes, slice of
their tops. Scrape out the seeds and
a little of the pulp, and fill cavities
with the celery or cucumbers mixed
with mayonnaise dressing.
Russian Salad
1 cupful cold cooked carrots (cubed)
/ cupful cold cooked potatoes
(cubedl,
/ cupful cooked peas,
1 cupful cold cooked string beans
Marinate with French dressing
Arrange vegetables in a mound;
make four sections Cover two sec
lions with finely chopped whites Of
hard cooked eggs. and the other two
n with the hard cooked yolks forced
I through a potato ricer or strainer
Il Garnish with parsley.
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1913-12-20
Citation Elk. of Final Account.

Citation Elk. OF FAnAA AccOuMHs
STATE OF MINNESOTA, COUNTY OF
Ramsey, S. In Probate Court.
In the Matter of the Estate of Patrick
Madigan, Decedent.
The State of Minnesota to All Whom
1t May Concern:
On reading and fling the petition of
the representative of said estate, pray
ing that the Court fix a time and place
for examining, adjusting and allowing
his Final Account, and for the assign
ment of the residue OF SAID estate 20
the persons thereto entitled:
1t Is Ordered, That said petition be
heard. and that all persons inteTeStedd
in said matter be cited and required
to appear before this Court, on Monday,
the 18th day of December, 1913 at lO
o'clock A. NJ, or as soon thereafter as
said matter can be heard, at the FRO
bate Court Rooms in the Court House
in the City of st. Paul, in said County,
and show cause, If any they nave, why
and that this citation be served by pup
location thereof in the Catholic But
letin according to law, and by mailing
a COPY of this citation at least IA days
before said day of hearing, to each OF
the heirs, devisees and legatees OF said
decedent whose names and addresses
appear from the files of this Court.
End day of December, A. ID. 1913.
(Sea1 of Probate Court)
q. W. BAZILLE.
Judge of Probate.
Attest: F. w. Gosewisch,
clerk Of Probate.
willis & CahiIl Attorneys.
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1913-12-20

down, and advanced towards me in
quiringly. I'm waiting for Father
D." 1 said; this lady wishes to
speak to YOU"
Father" said the woman, MRS.
Murphy is dead. Will you remember
her in the Mass, please" and handed
the priest a folded bill. The priest
made a memorandum of the name.
The woman departed. The little
priest opened the bill. 1t was a two
dollar bill. He looked at the bill for
moment and then said to me, well,
that's strange. l gave that bill today
to a man for a certain purpose. Now,
here it is again, back to me"
How do you know it is the same
bill?" l asked.
why" by this purple &C. on it," he
answered, and showed me the mark.
1 recognized the bill. And then l
looked at the priest.
God bless you, Father" said /; you
gave the bill to James Murphy to pay
a doctor with. l happened to know
that the doctor gave it back to Muir
ply to pay the druggist. And, evil
IDENTIFY, the druggist gave it back, be-
cause of the known poverty of Muir
ply. And now Mrs. Murphy is dead,
and poor Murphy sends the bill as an
offering requesting a Mass for his
mothers SOUL"
God bless him, God bless all con-
cerned in it," said the little priest. 81
received that bill as an offering this
morning for a Mass to save girl
from temptation"
tits a good days work for two dol
lars" said l.