The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-10

fresh straw and then fill up with
people. They sit on the straw, you
| know. It's supposed to be harvest
| dance, husking bee, an apple pairing
| and a spelling bee all in one and is
! considered very swagger. You know
| what swagger is, of course?"
| at vhas you swell oudt und be wer-
| ry smart
| a straw ride, and invited 20 people.
| The BARRIERS was one, but Mrs. O'Suli-
van was left out, and it almost broke
| her heart She came to me with tears
| in her eyes and said:
Bat the idea of it, Mr.. Sprocket
and me brought up under a straw
stack it were!'
The guests were treated to root
beer before they started, and then the
wagon drove up and down 27 different
alleys and passed all the boiler shops
and slaughter houses in town. They
stopped somewhere and loaded up with
pop, and they We're a hilarious crowd
when they got home at midnight. You
know what an unqualified success is,
don't you?''
"Of course. He vhas success nit
out any water in it,
Exactly. That's what this was,
and Mrs. O'Sullivan lambasted her
goat walloped her man and licked
her children before taking to her bed
| The straw ride was the talk of the
block. and it got into the papers
among the latest social events. Even
the undertaken around the corner.
who never notices anybody unless
there's a casket goes with it, came
around in a couple of days to con-
| graduate the countess
"Undt dot vhas all?" anxiously
| queried the grocer.
"Oh. no. replied the janitor. ''You
see, the BARRIERS wife had a score to
! pay off. She felt that she must deal
the O'Sullivans second hard blow 1t
! wouldn't do to have another straw
| ride, and euchre parties and high teas
| were not startling enough for her. She
must put her head to work, and you
can never guess what happened
/ MAYBE she elopes?"
| NO"
cor tries to hang herself"
"Und she don't join the Salvation
| NO. sir. She just piles lot of
| things into one of the closets in the
| evening. sets fire to them and takes a
walk. In about Is minutes we had
six fire engines out and more than u
| thousand people. 1t wasn't much of
a fire, but what there was of it was
| swagger.'
| How could he be swagger?'
| why the woman came running back
and tainted away on the steps-most
elegant faint you ever saw-equaI to
any of the Four Hundred. That was
L.
ed she tried to rush past the firemen,
and two of them had to put their arms
around her. That was point No. 2.
When the fire was out, she entered her
room and claimed to have been robbed
of $500 in cold cash and five diamond
rings That was point No g. and the
four reporters made half column ar
ticles about it and called her heroine
| By George. sir, but Mrs. OSullivan
went into fits and had "a of them be-
| fore the doctor could knock them out.
She's laying on her back in bed today,
! looking up at the ceiling and once in
a while she fetches groan like a dy-
ing horse
''Und so it vhas troubles, troubles,
troubles?"
| We'll, when three women set out to
down each other. somebody is going to
selling at today?
! The grocer picked out three which
had seen their best days and soured
on themselves and handed them to his
entertainer. with the remark:
! "Deos vhas free to you and l wish
you could do something's by dose people
All of 'em shall die some day.
/ Very likely, if not sooner
| Und none of err goes to heafen ?"
Not blessed one. but they don't
care continental about the other.
However, I'm going to empty a barrel
of tracts in the halls tomorrow, and
if the O'Sullivan goat don't eat them
all maybe something good will come
out OF it"
! DO you know you vhas grand,
good MANI said the grocer as his face
beamed with admiration.
Il have been called a second Wash
| ington,' was. the modest reply.
| You vhas more ash dot. You vhas
Washington und Captain Kids all in
| ore. You vhas ready to help der
whole world. If I vhas so sure of go
! ing to heafen ash you vhas 1 sell cold
storage eggs for fresh-laid every day
in the week. Ash it vhas. I hat to
! put in three fresh ones to efry dozen.
Must you go?'
/ Yes. you can't tell what may hap
pen at the flats with the janitor away.
They may build a toboggan from the
roof down into the street, or turn my
parlor into a skating rink. Good
night"
What mans! What mans,'' ex-
claimed the grocer as he threw a bad
onion back with the good ones. IF some
angels don't come after him when he
dies. den dis grocery sends der price OF
cabbage up to cents head and keeps
lit right ders till our peesness vhas
busted. - Copyright. 1918. by the Nc
tClure Newspaper Syndicate)
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