davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
BARON,S LOVE
Detroit Free Press

From the Detroit Free Press
Oscar Hammerstein. as he watched
from Madison avenue the building of
his new opera house in New York. said
aprops of the suit brought against him
by the Metropolitan Opera company:
1.-The Metropolitan directors love art
profoundly. Their love reminds one of
the Baron de Conte.
"The Baron de Conte had just got
engaged to Lotta, old Gobsa Golde' 8
daughter, the rich heiress.
'Alphonse, do you love me? Lotta
asked one evening.
Indeed I do" the baron answered.
How much do you love me, AL
phonse?' the heiress dreamily pursued.
~ love YOU said the baron, for
all you are worth. p"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
Underwood,s TariH Work

The Trend of Events, monthly maga-
zine published in New York city, has a
complimentary article commenting on
Representative Underwood and his good
work In connection with the administra-
tion's tariff bill.
ITO speak of the new law says the
magazine article, 'is to think of Repre-
sentative Oscar w. Underwood of Ala
bama, majority leader in the House 1t
is he who has been more closely identi-
fled with the measure than any other
man.
HE supervised and directed the tedi-
ious preliminary work, and he did it
with such consummate skill and discre-
ton that the bill he presented was so
practical and reasonable that it COM
manded the instant approval Of the coun-
try and got behind 1t a body of public
sentiment that assured its enactment
with few notifications, fewer than ever
made before in a general tariff BILL He
labored most of last year and all last
winter and thus paved the way for the
successful handling of the whole subject.
Scientific efficiency methods were. en-
ployed in the Senate as we'll as in the
House in pushing the bill to a favorable
vote. Chairman Simmons and his asso-
ciates on the Senate finance committee,
rendered valuable service in HARMONIC
ing differences of views and having the
majority present solid front. Presi-
dent Wilson's vigorous endorsements and
support of the measure did very much
to smooth the way for it. But, after all,
it was Underwood who by painstaking
effort and sound judgment, laid the
foundation. And the law is a monument
to his industry, tact, perseverance and
good sense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
Enjoyed New York

New York was blessed with pleasant
August weather and I greatly enjoyed my
three weeks stay there" said Sol caheen.
II combined business with pleasure.
New York is attractive all the year
round. It is getting to be more and
more of a tourist center. But l have
never known it to be more attractive
than it was in August. The days were
like Indian summer and the nights were
delightfully."- cool-almost as cool as the
late autumn.
"The business men l met in New York
were very optimistic. II New York pes
simists were somewhat plentiful some
months ago, they had vanished when !
got there. Everybody I talked to spoke
OF the large business outlook for the
coming fall. Business conditions are very
bright, indeed. and / feel confident that
we are going to have remarkably brisk
trade In the Birmingham district
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
Wheat in Alabama

If the boil weevil comes into Ala
bama bearing flour mills on his back,
his welcome will be much heartier
than if he came burdened only by a
voracious appetite.
A news story from Marion pub
lished in Sundays Age Herald was to
the effect that w. f. Moore of Hell
berger is erecting flour mill which
will have a daily capacity of 300
bushels. Not since the war has there
been flour mill in Perry.
Mr.. Moore's investment may not
measure much in dollars and cents, but
it opens an inspiring perspective. I'M
agine Alabama raising its own bis
cults along with its spare ribs and
gravy!
Many years ago wheat was one of
the recognized crops of Alabama. Es-
peHally was it grown in the northern
section of the state. The war came on
with it's desolation, and the farmers
began to give all their attention to
cotton. They knew that the staple
could be turned into money as soon as
It was taken from the fields, and it
was money that they needed. Now that
the boil weevil has made the produc-
ton of cotton hazardous in some coun-
ties, the farmers are planting other
things. Wheat may again come into it's
avn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
HIS EASY GRAFT

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Frauds and swindlers do their best to
kill human sympathy and kindly senti-
ment.
Not long ago stranger appeared in
one of the local banks and asked an Of
ficer II he could see him privately.
State your business" said the officer
There is no necessity for privacy"
The stranger slid into chair beside
the desk and said In pathetic under.
tone: I'm just out of the penitentiary
This suit Of clothes was made there. Tin
trying to get home to my family. I'm
going to turn over a new leaf and make
good. win you let me have dollar fol
my fare to Akron7 will pay you bach
as soon as reach home"
It certainly seemed q pathetic prop
osition.
Well" said the bank officer. this 4
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
City Should Build Auditorium


Much interest has been aroused in
the auditorium proposition and the
vote on September Is in favor of a 5
per cent 5000, 900 bond issue should be
practically unanimous. In every COM
munity there are some persons who
oppose all progress. Some voters will
cast their ballot against the audi
torium but if the public spirited citi-
zens work zealously between now and
election day the majority for bond
issue will be overwhelming.
Birmingham is exceptionally well
situated for convention purposes. Ma
tional organizations of the larger size
could be readily induced to choose Bir-
mingham for their meetings if we had
a convention hall with seating ca
pacity of 5000 or 10000. Without such
building we cannot be considered in
the national convention class.
Birmingham is railroad center and
in few months it will have ample
hotel accommodation to meet all con-
vention requirements. If work is
started on the auditorium this fall we
will be prepared to entertain conven-
tions next year. Just as soon as the
voters decide in favor of bond issue
the Chamber of Commerce committee
on conventions will go to work to Sc
cure large bodies for 1914.
The $4,000 interest on a 100000
bond issue would be mere bagatelle
when the great benefits are taken into
consideration. The revenue from the
auditorium would be considerable and
after the first year or two would be
more than enough to pay the interest
charges.
An auditorium such as Is projected
would tend to strengthen realty
values. The crowds that would come
here in attendance on conventions
would benefit merchants, hotels and
restaurants. Every property owner
and every merchant should work with
vim to bring out large vote week
from next Monday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
The Case of Miss Trondle

There is much that is pathetic in
{ liss Elizabeth Trondle's appeal to the
resident. Mr. Wilson cannot grant
the unique request she makes, per-
haps, but its publication may serve to
call attention once more to the handi-
caps under which the women of Amer
lea are compelled to labor.
Miss Trondle writes from the Brook
1yn jail. She is under arrest for mas
|Querading as man. In male attire
ne sought work in book bindery and
ound it. Her sex was discovered, and
49, was carried to prison. She asks
~ President to permit her to wear
6usefs and other Of the articles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Large August business

"our business was 2s per cent larger
in the month just ended than it was
in August, 1872. said Felix NJ Drennen
of the Drennen company.
General trade In this part of the coun-
try was satisfactory a year ago, but II
has been even better, l believe, this sum-
mer; better, at any rate, from my point
of view.
L see nothing but prosperity ahead OF
us. This district has been wonderfully
prosperous all this year and business
will be more active than ever between
now and the holidays. I predict that
October will witness an exceptionally
buoyant movement in business circles in
Birmingham,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

a new one-rll take chance on your be-
ing square,
He handed the stranger a dollar snd the
man went out stammering his gratitude.
just little later the good-hearted giyef
learned that the same smooth story had
drawn dollars from at least half dozen
of his acquaintances.
It's bad world in some instances
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
IMPROVING BY pRACr,cE

From Four Hundred Good Stories.
A father, whose looks are not such as t..
warrant the breaking up of all existing
statues of Apollo, tells this on himself:
MY little girl was sitting on my lap
facing a mirror. After gazing intently
at her reflection for some minutes she
said:
Papa. did God make you?'
Certainly, my dear / told her.
And did He make me, too?' taking
another look in the mirror.
!" Certainly. dear. What makes you
ask?'
"'Oh, don't know. Seems to me
He's doing better work lately"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
FIGHTING AND PRA Ting

From the Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Mccarthy got into an argument with
Casey about the efficacy of prayer.
"Oi can't see that there's anything in
it," asserted Casey. "O never got any,
thing out of it,"
"well," said Mccarthy, don't you
NOW when there's war it's always the
people that pray that win the hghts?''
"How about the Chinese?' asked Casey.
They're great people to pray. and yet
they get licked. and licked bad
"Oh, WE'LL" explained Mccarthy, mo
wan could understand thin whin they
prayed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
The Ensley Enterprise

1.-The booster edition of the Ensley En-
terprise will make it's appearance Sep
tember 13, said Editor L. p. Hill. ''rhis
edition will have a very attractive cover
and will contain high class reading mat
ter A large edition of the Enterprise
Will be printed and after each subscriber
receives a copy. I, with a boy, horse and
buggy, will put a copy in the home of
every householder in Ensley. Wylam
Fairfield and Pratt City, to say nothing
of other points. The circulation of the
Enterprise is increasing and many new
subscribers are being added to the list .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
LOST LOVE

BY Andrew Lang.
Who wins his love shall lose her
Who loses her shall gain.
For still the spirit woos her
A soul without q stain;
And Memory still pursues her
With longings not in vain!.
He loses her who gains her,
Who watches day by day
The dust Of time that stains her,
Tho griefs that leave her gray.
Tho flesh that yet enchains her
Whose grace has passed away!
o happier he who gains mot
Tho love some seem to gein:
The Joy that custom stains not
Shall still with him remain,
The loveltness that wanes not.
Tho love that ns'er can wane.
In dgeams she grows not older
The land Of Dream among,
Though all the world wax colder.
Though AL the songs Be sung.
IN dreams doth ho beho1d her
: etiu fair nd Hind ard xounG
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
Impressed with Pensacola

II note from the Pensacola Journal
that j. A. LaRue of Birmingham, who
has recently returned from visit to
Pensacola, was deeply impressed by what
he saw during his stay in the Deep
Water Port said former newspaper
man.
I'm fact, Mr.. LaRue expressed his ap-
probation of what Pensacola Is today
and what 1t is destined to be in unusu-
ally strong terms, which carried addi-
tional weight from the fact that they
come from well-balanced business man.
That the people of Pensacola appreci-
ated his utterances goes without saying,
but the point l would make is that Bir-
mingham citizens, as a rule, are proud of
the progress Pensacola is making and
that they regard Pensacola as an Ala
bama port, in virtually the same sense
Mobile is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

M. Pegoud. the famous French aviator
has demonstrated to the satisfaction OF
number of gentlemen that it is possible
to fly with the machine upside down.
Some of Birminghams joy riders are
doubtless wishing that 1t was possible for
an automobile to run upside down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

The small boys heart is filed with
sadness now as the holidays draw to q
close, but just wait until he gets on the
school playground at recess. A blood
thirsty Indian emitting his choicest war
cry will seem mild in comparison.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
ROMANCE OF WAR is DEAD

from month to month and year to year
In profit and loss. They are, in toucn
with the test of sales. An army gets its
real test only in war
A private corporation may be out of
date and keep on doing business for a
while. 1t may travel on prestige, dis
daining improvements and letting office
dead wood continue to gum the wheels
but nc army and no navy can be unpro-
gressive and stand the trial of war What
ever new invention appears you will find
the fighting forces of the world the first
to use 1t If 1t has any possible applica-
tion in their profession
The most dramatic moment in recent
military history occurred when a German
military dirigible had to descend in
France because of engine trouble. The
French officers had a peep at the great
German mystery and found, to their de-
light. that 1t had not single appliance
that was not already known through the
hidden processes of French intelligence
service. Therefore. the military corpora
tions demand the ablest detectives. Not
long ago the plans of our new battleship,
the Pennsylvania, not to mention the
plans of a new 1e-inch naval gun, disap-
peared from the navy department. The
plans for the first dreadnought, whichy
the British navy tried its best to keep
secret, were in possession of every first
class European navy before its keel was
laid.
A single invention may decide battle.
The fact that the Krupp recoil for field
II,
the actual test of war, was worth a score
of regiments to the Bulgars army with
Canets. while the Turks were armed
with Krupps. There is no more martial
romance In perfecting field gun, or
in assembling the parts of a battleship
and organizing battleships crew, than
there is IN perfecting automobile motors
and organizing an automobile manufac-
turing plant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
A MISUNDERSTANDING.

graph.
In the struggling days at luskegse
Booker T. Washington found that he
would have to use an old chicken house
for school room.
Uncle" he said to an old colored
man. Il want you to come down At .
o'clock tomorrow morning and help me
clean out henhouse."
Law. now. Mr.. Warrington. "the old
man expostulated. ''You-all don't want
to begin cleanip' out no henhousss
sounf here in de daytime"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
HAPPY ANYHOW
rrorn ~. A+,.,+. r,..s.,.,..'-

FFom the Atlanta Constitution.
This local item. from rural corrs-
spondent. appeared in the Dalton Citi-
zen:
Mr.. Ollie Koontx and Miss Snarly
Focus were married at Shiloh last Sab
bath. Both are prominent in spite. Of
their names They were showered with
Jap rice and pearl grits."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Ad Wolgast erstwhile champion lost
another pugilistic encounter this time
with a third rater. Verify, the way of
one who would come back is far from
being strewn with roses
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

The Labor Day prize fights We're for
the most part tame affairs and the
pug" who Drought home the bacon"
didn't bring home much
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

That French aviator who flew up
side down took more liberties with the
law of gravity than any other man who
ever lived to tell the story.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Tho time is now drawing near for tho
scrlbes to predict that the teams in their
respective cities will finish at the top
of the percentage column in the season of
1914
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

We have the autumn of the calendar
but real autumn comes along with the
equinoctial storms on or about Sep
tember %.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
RELIEF FOR A DROUGHT VICTIM


From the Harrodsburg Herald.
Postmaster Grimes received last week
very pathetic appeal for aid from =
brother postmaster down at Roseburg.
XIV. We publish below the appeal and
his generous response.
Roseburg. KY. August u, 1as-Mr.
Postmaster: Dear sir-Will ask you to
give or loan me 81. We have bad
drought in this place. The office only
pays about q or - per month. VIII thank
you for this favor.
H. T. CHILDREss.
Harrodsburg. KY. August u, lsls.-Mr.
H. T. Childress, p. NJ. Roseburg, KY:
Dear sir-I received your letter Of the
18th inst. requesting loan of u on &C.
count Of the drought. You will nnd In
closed . = BILL which you will please
return when the drought - over or whom
your salary IL raised. With klndsst re-
rards and sympathy. beg to remain.
yours very truly.
JOHN H. GRIMES. p. M.
p. e.-eince writing the above Il has
(commsnced to rain. 20 have taken the y
bRl out. elpcerelxa ]. H q
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

A well known critic defends tne plays
of Strindberg at the same time doubt
less holding his nose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

With the baseball season drawing to a
close and school soon to begin, the small
boy bleacherite is indeed in bad way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Before American women get .he vote
wouldn't II be good idea for them
to prove their common sense and assert
their independence by no longer let
ting Paris set the styles for them?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

jail sentences for auto speeders would
give them the leisure time they sore
ly need to mediate on their reckless
ness,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Business on Morris avenue the past
summer has been unprecedented. say the
Dealers and fall trade will doubtless be
even better.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
MANY LIKE EB.

MANY LIKE EB.
I'm not man to give up hope,
Said Ebenezer Speed,
But now and then I'm bound to NOPE.
There's so darned much l need
/ would | were an artist!
'Twould fill my soul with cheer;
For when | got a thirst on,
I'd draw a glass of beer.
California Pelican.
I'd like to be woodman,
And walk the forests through,
And whenever got hungry,
I'd take a chop or two.
Princeton Tiger
The law would offer me more scope
/ love the legal race.
With thirst and hunger | could cope,
Just order up case.
Michigan Gargoyle ;,
Ny occupations better still.
If you don't think SO, try it,
coach the frislSy chorus girls,
And chicken is my diet.
Cornell Widow
I've often thought that in a pinch,
Typesetting I would try,
Then, IL your type should get mixed up,
At least you'd have pi.
--Inter-Ocean
I'm staying where mosquitoes
Are Vicious in the night,
So I am never hungry,
I always have bite.
Detroit News-Tribune.
would I were an actor,
To keep my hunger down;
For we'll / know that I SHOULD get
A roast in every town.
st. Louis dispatch.
I'd like to be a plumber
When chinquapins are ripe;
I'd get a fancy price, you see
Each time hit the pipe.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
n HARD LUCK STORY.


4 understand you used to live in
town on the Mississippi river"
Yes. I lost all my savings there"
How did that happen?e
Il was interested in a real estate ven-
ture and it slid into the river
UNUSUAL.
Il might have known that Dobbs would
do something extraordinary in later iife."
Why SOP
We'll, for one thing. he went through
college without falling In love with the
college widow"
WHERE FOUND.
IT notice that you quote the classics
quite often.''
Yes. I don't know what would do if
II were not for the back part of my die
tionary."
STILL IN OFFICE.
foxy man
Is Abner Dix,
Who plays the game
OF politics.
When voters say,
you must retire"
He smiles and pulls
Another wire.
SENSIBLE GIRL.
How about being an old mans darl-
ing?"
There's no necessity for it. I've found
young man with the price of bunga-
low"
SOMETIMES IT'S AWKWARD.
1.-THE average man is not averse to a
little publicity"
"Quite so. II it is left to him to decide
when the publicity shall be applied"
DINING OUT.
He did not order chicken
Upon the bill of fare.
Because he'd brought one with him
Who made the johnnies stare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

"Just dragging along" describes the
Mexican situation to 1T"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
IT'S TO PONDER.

Man never ceases to marvel at the
flight of time"
And we'll may he marvel at it. WHY,
in few more years women who survived
the Ohio flood won't acknowledge that
they were born then"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

Summer fingers in the lap of au-
tumn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

o judgment, thou art fed to brutish
beasts,
And men have lost their reason,
Julius Caesar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
a asHoar-cHANGEv-Anr1sr

A "SHORT-CHANGE"-
In the September American Magazine
Peter Clark MacFarlane begins a new
series of articles entitled, '"Those Who
Have Come Back" 1t is series which Is
intended to show how men and women,
down and out" failures or disgraced at
40, have taken 4 new hold on life and
are today reputable and helpful members
of the community. The first person whom
Mr.. MacFarlane vividly describes as one
who has come back is Lucky" Bald
win.
He was born on the lower East Side
of New York. His real name Is Christie
pher J. BALI. and he now runs mis-
sion in Chicago After leading a wild
life he was converted in the Jerry Nc
Auley mission In New York. %9ie got the
name Lucky because he never was
caught committing any crime and never
served a prison term. In his early days
he IVES very proficient in the art of short
changing. This art he practiced for
long time in a Bowery restaurant, famous
as "Suicide Hail." The following is an
extract from the article:
Here he became proficient in the art Of
short changing. He could serve patron
with sedulous concern. encourage him
to talk. gain his confidence, and then, in
the moment of giving him his change,
rob him. From a W bill he could get
81 80; from SO bill. -. and from $40,
ss. 80. 1t was in part legerdemain and in
part a confidence game: and Lucky played
hott With eouaI skill Fifty or $50 week
was the take out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Do your Christmas shopping earlyll.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

Frederick Palmer in McClure's Magazine.
l"HE glory, the sport and the romance
of war are dead. Heroes are out
L of date. They interfere with team
play. Dashing leaders will please apply
for employment anywhere than to an
army and navy. The only spotlight Is
the searchlight that you turn on your
enemy.
War has become business. as matter
of fact as department store. Its VIC
tories are to the scientist, the mechani-
clan, and the organizer--to the laboratory.
the card index and the telephone.
while 1 have the chief of staff on the
long distance this evening. l will ask him
to give you pass to go with the army"
said the prime minister of Bulgaria. in
the midst of the war of the Balkan allies
against the Turk.
1t was as simple a matter as the New
York office of corporation calling up
its Boston office savor the chief of
staff, was not at the front. He man
aged the war without ever being near a
battle. Surrounded by his department
heads and experts. he was situated In a
IOWn wen u Lie iSdi VI tiiC ~ ihS oe tiiS
focal point of his wires. where any vital
Hello, centralv' would instantly reach
him.
Bravery alone, did not win for the al
lies. The Turks also were brave. But
their concern went to war with dead
lock among the board of directors, one
set of orders from the president and the
other set from the general manager. the
plant in disrepair. the shipping depart
ment on a strike, stock heavily watered,
and short term notes due in a panic, with
call money at 100 per cent.
An army is great industrial corpora
tion which moves most of its plant on
wheels and legs. Its functions are the
most inclusive and complex of any cor
poration. and 1t should be the most up to
date. Other corporations get their results
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03
SOMETIMES IT'S AWKWARD.

1.-THE average man is not averse to
little publicity
"Quite so. II 1t is left to him to decide
when the publicity shall be applied
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

DINING OUT.
He did not order chicken
Upon the bill of fare.
Because he'd brought one with him
Who made the johnnies stare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-03

I'm not man to give up hope"
Said Ebenezer Speed,
But now and then I'm bound to NOPE,
There's so darned much l need