Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-05

saying. "Kipling came In and behaved
ID strangely At luncheon he sudden
lily sprang up and wouldn't let the
waitress come near the table. Every
time that she tried to come nsas 10
would Jump at her.
HE made q dive for the cake which
was on the lower shelf OF the sido.
board, and took It into the parlor 70
eat 1t. He got the crumbs all over the
sofa and the beautiful rug.
When he had finished his cake v
simply sat and glared at u.s."
The visitor finally could not control
herself, and asked: EXCUSE me. but
are you speaking OF Mr.. Rudyard Kip
llngf"
hostess. "Oh, no: Kipling u our
dogi"
A School Olrsotor's pronunosallen,
Joseph p. Tumulty, secretary TO
President Wilson. tells OF Z former
member Of the jersey City board of
education who. upon . visit TO one
Of the schools, took q reader from the
teachers hand and addressed the
AsSoA AAStAO AAl, WY U00Ip C80 %V0U
spell 'eggpit.S hs said.
The little girl didn't recognize the
word. but was willing TO take 8
chance, 90 she said:
"Rg-gp-it"
spell IT." the inQuisitor asked. look
ing over the room.
Other Children tried. Some spelled
It with N 'g'' and others With two;
ia" Still wrong. Tho member OF the
board had hts finger on the word.
and knew. He turned 10 tho teacher.
O course, ma'am, you know how
to spell IT."
The teacher blushed and confessed
that while she ri not familiar with
the word, she would expect It to BE-
spelled as It soundeI"e-g.gpi-t."
Not familiar with III" roared the
guardian Of the public instruction.
Not familiar with tits right here
tn the book!"
The teacher looked and Jaw tho
word-Dgypt.
The Real Question.
Father (impressively). Suppose
should be AXE away suddenly, what
would become OF you, my boyf
Irreverent son. I'd stay here. The
question Is. what would become OF
you?
The Dream Book.
read what the wonderful seed book
Fol pink and for violets blue.
Then put the book by and say with .
sigh:
will all Of these things come true?'
The book describes turnips and rad.
ishes huge
And beets Of a ravishing hue.
IT'S q beautiful tale; but I only wall:
"Will all OF these things come true!"
The onions l planted have not ZONE mp
yet;
In seven short days they were due
With a questioning look I say to the
book:
win all Of these things como trus,"
A Sad slump.
What's the trpuble!"
7 The doctor has changed my medi.
cine. l wouldn't take It unless the
nurse ave me a kiss each time"
"Well!"
THE old medicine I took every hf.
teen minutes. Now the doctor has
given me some to take every four
! hours"
The Wisdom OF Years.
II wish I knew where to 80 this
summer"
You have been away every summer
for years. You ought to know where
you want to 60"
mo; all know IL a lot Of places
where I don't want 10 CO."
"A Fan 1t Home.
The dinner Is stone cold" growl4d
the baseball fan.
II time the dinner for nine inninggs;s
said his wife firmly. Il can't figure
on these h~fteen-inning games"
Fishing Facts.
The rainbow trout, | lind, are wary;
They scorn my bait inviting. 3.s,
! wish the "skeeters" were as chary
OF biting. Il
A Practical wife.
Wife, this is u wedding annivsr.
sary,s
$50 1t Is"
"As a matter Of sentiment, Il shall
bring home a bunch OF flowers .
! night"
Never mind the sentiment. Henry.
Bring home some limburger cheese"
Preparing For tho Worst.
II see they have q cold storage
! plant at the white house."
II would suggest that once seekers
be steered through II - they aTrivS."
OF Course.
Some girls get engaged during .
-four years course IN college, but they
1 might reach the same result duYfi1R