The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-08-07
A NOVICE DESCRIBES
FLORIDA GRAPEFRUIT.

SLdlt Ol TIOIlud ID DIS large dS q
toy balloon and larger. 1t is fast
getting to beknown as our State
flower. 1t is very good for break
fast, the other meals for which
il is also popular being dinner
sometimes called luncheon) AMI
supper (sometira.as designated
dlnner.)
No real, honest-to-goodness
meal is considered complete now
adays in the North, South, Eas.
or West, without this valuable
adjunct.
For the benefit of the reader
we will herewith attach Or hand
and seal Of the great Stale OF
Florida and proceed to quote the
best method, according to Hoyle,
for eating this popular and deli
cious article Of food:
Before setting down to the ia
bic to devour your grapefruit,
first OF all encase your body in J
rubber macintosh, one that is
guaranteed waterproof, then
place over your eyes a good lair
OF automobile goggles, though
the common divers helmet is pre-
ierable. Turn your coat collar
well up around your ears, and you
are ready to sit down to the ia
bic. This must not be accom-
plished hastily, but your move
ments should be slow and DELHI
elate, each maneuver carefully
thought out. Presuming that
you are now seated and have ap-
preached the grapefruit cautiously
Sc as not to arouse its anger, you
next place the left thumb and fng-
ers around The waist Of the fruit,
t.ke the spoon in your right hand,
and make a gentle gouge in the
fare Of the object. Il will al once
resent this familiarity by ex-
pectorating in your RICH. eey. Or
i. would strike Your right eye il
il were not protected by the Cog
sles. This is always bit dis
ccuraging but you only smile,
knowing this is the nature OF the
beast, and make another gouge
and then you get il in the left
google. BY this time you bend to
the fascinating work and make
another frantic gouge and are re-
varded for your pains by
stream OF acid nectar down the
back OF your neck. You suddenly
become aware that everybody in
the restaurant is laughing at you,
hut this makes you all the more
determined and in your wildly
directed blows upon its solar
pleXus you suddenly become the
center OF yeritable shower bath.
Then you yell for the waiter
ard il he is a good waiter and has
been brought up in the right way
he should go and il the tip is large
enough he will show you how by
gentle coaxing and skillful mani
pulating you may draw from its
innermost heart the juice that
rade Florida famous.
After few days expedience
your batting average will be about
990 and YOU will feel as proud OF
your achievement in mastering
the grapefruit as an explorer
might feel in discovering two
North Poles.
The grapefruit is as pretty as
the postcards depict it, and they
sly il You eat ii long enough YOU
will live forever. Why, when il
comes TO taking the place OF
breakfast food it is the only orr
ninal substitute and nothing else
j. in the running.
Had that noted yege arian,
Ponce de Leon. attempted to eat
grapefruit. he would have found
no necessity for chasing all over
the State OF Florida in search OF
Tie Fountain OF Youth, for the
grapefruit would have shown no
hesitancy in bathing his eyes.
his ears and even his classical
nose in its delicious acidity.
When you feel that YOU have
tackled everything in the eating
line and all have proved disap-
pointing, just eat grapefruit &C
cording to the above directions,
ard be happy. II is the last word
il citrus fruits, can accommodate
from one to four passengers, and
has a self-starter that can be &C.
pended upon. Great is the Flor