The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1913-01-25
CONCERNING GIRLS
AND GOLD BAGS

| Hdhtb uO nCiNOub W US hSoi its - ~
afraid of their influence! Now, can
face German silver gold washed one
without fiinching; but run me up
against solid gold bag and begin to
get chills and fever. l guess 1t is be-
cause ! am always so overpowered by
the thought of several hundred dollars
tied up in such a small bit Of frivolity.
"Now, II owned one-if. that is,
some relative should catch me and
bind and gag me and thrust solid
| gold bag upon me by main force-l
think / should devote the rest of my
life to sheltering 1t and giving 1t the
reverence which was its due. ! know
! should waken In the night with
shrek, thinking / had not locked 1t up
in the jewel case that was in the sc.
cret drawer Of the time-lock safe be-
hind padlocked closet door. And
know that in my waking hours
should either sit upon 1t or wear IL
chained to me.
THAT is why the women who actual
ly do own solid gold bags make me Sc
nervous. The minute you possess one
! it is the correct thing to act as though
II were the mud under your feet or al
though you were so sick of havins
them cluttering up your pathway that
you simply couldn't stand 1t another
minute! You can't belong to the clan
at all unless you learn to scatter youi
bag around recklessly where people,
will find 1t and have heart disease fol
fear they won't get 1t back to you be
fore you have called out the police re
serves and set them on their trail.
1T is always the people who dom
own them who do the worrying.
why, I once knew a man who useo
10 run around with girl who owneG
solid gold bag, and she carried IL
upon every occasion, Of course. She
used to drop 1t between seats at the
theater and remember she had done
so when they were three-quarters or
the way home. And then the man
would be obliged to spend the rest OF
the night chasing up janitors and box
office men and routing them out OF
bed and groveling under parquet seatf
or travelling miles to the residence OF
the usher on that aisle and having a
talk with him.
The bag always was found, OF
course, and the person finding it was
only too tickled to get rid Of 1t and
perfectly delighted to pass it over to
the harassed young man. But that did
not help much at 4 or or o'clock in
the morning, when he was due at the
office again at 8. If this particular
girl did not drop 1t at the theater she
would leave II on the table at the
cafe, and then, when she telephoned
this unfortunate young man at a. m.
that she had just remembered doing
so and would he very much mind
seeing about it, he knew he was in for
near-riot with all the walters at that
restaurant and that he would never
dare face the naughty head waiter in
that particular place again, even if al!
the other restaurants burned up and
he had to starve to death. Really, Dy
the end of the winter he was the most
popularity hated young man in town A.
restaurants and box Offices.
"Once she lost it on the suburban
train. discovering the fact when they
arose to leave. She said, of course, he
CO... easily find It, Showing her into
'front.' door the young man tore
l. ok 10 L station and caught the
same train on its return trip to town
and tackled the conductor, pop-eyed
with anxiety and responsibility ard
hopelessness. Gold bag?' repeated the
conductor casually. 'Sure-here ii is.
l picked 1t up right after you left!
But the unlookedfor luck was toe
much of a shock for the young man
and he gurgled and fell all in heap,
When he had quite recovered from
his illness he went away quickly and
life owned anything more elaborate
than S3.9S bargain mesh bag that
looked it's price.
There was another woman with a
solid gold bag who spent her summe!
at the lake last year and who used t.
leave the bag on logs in the woods OF
on steps when she went calling on the
cottagers. The children, finding it or
the steps, would gleefully bury it IL
their sand forts and forget all abou'
!, what they had done, and then fol
: hours all the resorters and inn serv
ants would madly search for that bag
when they had uprootetd all tht
shrubbery and devastated their home
7 and politely accused everybody else
and when nearly all the maids and
: nurses had burst into tears and
, thrown up their positions, somebody
. would accidentally kick over the SAND
, fort and fall upon the bag with yell
of joy. Then every one would moi
, her or his fevered brow and call fol
i lemonade and fans and talk about how
they hated that woman. She actually
I seemed to enjoy the commotion she
[, caused every day or SO and when she
' left they gave her a big party, the,
were SO glad to be rid Of her!
"Must you go?" ended the girl who
loves to talk. IF SO, would you mint
taking along this gold bag see YOU
are leaving behind? presume yor
forgot i'll"
Dear mel" said the bags owner
81 believe did forget It'll Isn't tina