Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-03-27

BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN n
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Drinking to another mans health
won't improve your own.
Some girls have rather thin excuses
for wearing short hobbies.
When you meet sad looking man
its easy to acquire full details of his
troubles.
A business man on Broadway says
some of US fit in--while others butt in.
Who's next
Every female who powders believes
that there is something wrong about
the girl who paints.
Some girls are so particular that the
only way you can hold their hands is to
shake hands with them.
Speaking of diamonds, an Audubon
youth had hand full a few evenings
ago, but he failed to flash. The queen
was the largest.
An Audubon woman recently got a
long letter from another woman, and
hastily read the postscript first to see
what had happened.
After ALL it's grand condition of af.
fairs when all people do not see alike.
For example, we couldn't have two
candidates for postmaster if everyone
thought the same.
One of our good bachelor friends
said that there was one good thing
about loving widow, she can never
get off that old gag about never having
been kissed.
That certain Audubon man will
never gives his wife any credit for liv-
ing with him until he gets up some
morning aud takes a good look at him
self in the mirror.
There is q man in the this COM
munity who is so deaf that he can't
hear his wife when she asks him for
money. But he can always hear the
rustic of a strange skirt.
At social gathering the other even
ing, remark was made that lit is all
right for woman of thirty to say she
feels as young as she did at eighteen, !"
but she never looks it,
One of our correspondents sent in the
following item last week. John So and
So is going to have bath tub put in
his new three-room cottage. The So
and Sos are noted for their cleanly
ways"
Audubon married men will learn
with interest that Geraldine Farrar,
the American prima donna, has re-
turned from Europe with a buttonless
gown, and they will all offer prayer
that the fashion become very popular.
1t is pleasing to note that the govern
ment will soon begin the coming of
half cent pieces The new coin will be
great convenience to some of the
liberal gentlemen who wish to grant
their wives regular allowances each
week.
The man who tried to whip his wife
Saturday night found little surprise
in store for him. She drew up her
a. , 70, Il rLnf. no %
gets the thread, then knocked him
down and held him their until he
apologiZed.
Perhaps you are familiar with the
works of Ingersol?" smilingly in
auired a book salesman, as he reached
under his coat for the sample bindings.
sure, am. replied Mr.. johnson, the
jeweler, and its a good watch for the
money" The salesman was knocked
com pletely off his feet by the prompt
reply and lost no time looking for
more favorable prospective customer.
la church or in state it is rule or be
ruled; in courtship or in marriage it is
fool or be fooled; in logic or in law it
is nick or be nicked in gambling or
trade III Is CflcR or DO ITlCkou; III treaty
or war it is beat or be beaten; in the
struggle of life il is eat or be eaten; in
politics it is crow or eat crow; in the
newspaper line it is hoe your own row.
The Office Seeker.
Man is a creature CT desire,
A heing fashioned to admire
When feeling in condition.
SnV1l 10 ha