davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01
organs Too Busy To Talk"

Oh, wonder of wonders! I can't I'M
derstand, and it's hard to believe
the report;
I wish they would tell me who started
the tale, and I wish they would
prove itin court.
But sure as you're born it is going the
rounds-and it makes my creduli-
ty balk-
That business is pressing in Washing
ton town, and Bryan's too busy to
talk.
There never have been such condi-
tons before, and I'm awful un-
easy for fear
That some International trouble is on,
and that general chaos is near.
I fear the American Eagle will die
so dead thatit never can squawk-
For surely there's something unusual
ON hand, if Bryan's too busy to
talk.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

I amt gotta word to say
against Roman Catholic re
ligion," except that most of it is
silly and unreasonable. What |
object to is Roman Catholic
POLITICS-their mad desire to
dominate the civil governments
of the world.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01
The Expose Toilette.

Wow!
Come again.
Who knows2
| don't.
Better hush.
Somebody's looking.
Amt it just awful?
What?
Look and see.
Are you blind?
All, pshaw!
Be ashamed!
Don't mention it.
What?
Why, the Expose Toilette.'
Latest female fashion.
Expose what?
Legs and so forth.
Don't be so inquisitive.
[ amt going to tell no more.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Whew! Smell of this! The
chief of the pure food depart
ment of the government declares
that the pure food law don't a.
mount to a hill Of beans. Shucks,
knew that all the time.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

A New York man named Hoe
is being sued for 1925, 900 for
breach of promise. Looks like
Hoe just as we'll dig up.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Look-y here! What does this
mean about so many Of my SUBJ
scribers not getting their paper
regularly? Is there a plot among
the p~ostmasters to destroy it? If
so, somebody will hear from
somebody purity doggon soon.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

The big daily papers have be-
gun to copy things from The
Fool-Killer, which indicates that
it is coming to be recognized as
one of the standard ''funny pa
pers'' of the country.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

, Say, mister, here is another
question you can answer while
your coffee cools: Do the people
belong to the Constitution, or
does the Constitution belong to
the people?
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

If tut, tut!" is the strongest
cussing Woodrow Wilson can do,
his powers of profanity have
swunk up terribly since he made
that speech in Greensboro, N. c.,
a few years ago.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

There is a kind Of cloth on the
market called ''duck." If a-body
had a suit Of that cloth and it
was a good fit, wouldn't that be
a duck-fit?
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

"The American people, on the
whole, are very happily situated"
says an exchange. Yes, those who
are "on the whole' are getting
along plum snipshus, but the poor
devils who are in the hole" are
having a tuff time of it.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

In a Pennsylvania town recent
ly a pretty typewriter girl was
arrested for being too scantily
dressed. Doggon! She must have
been one of these-here ''visible''
typewriters.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

''The Melting Pot' would be a
world-beater of a paper if it
would only stick a corn-cob in it's
infidelity bung-hole.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

EDITORIALS.
Bang!
Hooray!
Did you "cilibrate?"
Ted, the pistol-toter! Oh, my!
-
Patriotism with the seat of it's
pants gone.
, July is hot, but The Fool-Killer
is hotter.
The more money a "sawsiety"
woman spends for clothes the less
she seems to have on.
How does a fish sleep!" asks a
correspondent. In the bed of the
river, of course.
An old broom may not sweep
clean, but it can raise a dickens of
a dust.
Man proposes, woman disposes,
marriage composes, and divorce
exposes.
Does a man succeed because he
smiles, or does he smile because
he has succeeded?
"The Melting Pot'' would be a
world heater of a paper if it
would only stick a corn-cob in it's
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01
Bundle and News Stand Rates.

The Fool-Killer will be furnished
in bundles to n address at the fol-
lowing prices:
20 copies of any one issue. Is cents.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Sample copies in small quantities
will be furnished free of charge.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Does a man succeed because he
smiles, or does he smile because
he has succeeded?
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

How does a fish sleep!'' asks a
correspondent. In the bed of the
river, of course.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

An old broom may not sweep
clean, but it can raise a dickens of
a dust.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Man proposes, woman disposes,
marriage composes, and divorce
exposes.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

July is hot, but The Fool-Killer
is hotter.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

The more money a "saWsiety"
woman spends for clothes the less
she seems to have on.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

Patriotism with the seat of it's
pants gone.
The fool-killer., 1913-07-01

One year to your heart, 70 Cents.
In clubs of Five or More, Is Cents.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
IMPRESSIVE
ATTEND HIS

Munich. Special: impressive ceremo-
nies and great popular enthusiasm at
tended the ascension to the Bavarian
throne Of King Ludwig III and Queen
Marie Therese. The day was initiated
by tho ringing of all church bells. Tho
whole population turned out to wit
ness the ceremonies. Troops formed
2 lane in the streets through which the
king and queen. with gorgeous pro-
cession, rode In state carriage to
the "frauenkirche." to the festival
services.
The archbishop Of Misunderstanding
DR.. Won Gettinger, offciated. All Ba-
varian princes and princesses, the
dukes. members OF the cabinet, the Dip
pmatic corps and members Of the leg-
stature were assembled in the throne
room. Count Fugger. president Of the
first chamber, delivered the address of
homage and the king thanked in q
short speech. The festival closed with
the singing Of the national hymn.
King Ludwig succeeds the mad King
Otto. who was deposed after he had oc-
cupied the Bavarian throne q years
without knowing his position. Otto
vas born April 81. 1S4S. and succeeded
his brother. Louis II, who drowned
himself In Sternberg lake. June 13. 1886.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
DIG DEEP
IN CLUBS POCKETS

CHICAGO. Special: when q new box
Ing club opens. the tighter gets his" 10
an old saying in the boxing game. and
Il was never better illustrated than at
the williams-L odiman night, staged By
the Riverview club. Milwaukee. Wis,
Thanksgiving. II 49, the first show
Of the club, and only = fair card waA
booked Il cost them more than . top
notch battle. It cost just $4,000 to open
the club. and the total receipts were
$500. Following Is their expense list:
Williams. $500 guarantee and three
tickets from BALTIMORE.
Lodiman. $3.50 ana two tickets from
Pittsburgh.
Prelilninaries. $500.
Canvas to floor. $500.
Cost OF house. advertising ana incl
dentals,a 41,15O.
Tho Joke Of the thing IL that an es-
tAblished club could have secured Will
liams for $500 and Lodiman for @76.
Tho battle was the hrst In which Lodi
man eve fought 4 Windup and he
never received more than $50 for .
previous bout.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
Hopes To Rebuild Fortune
By Writing ~Movie" PLAYS

IN 2 last attempt to rebuilt her
onattered fortunes the Countess Of
warwick 4: writing movie" plays.
Ct l%ecturing for thes~ socialist cause and
at writing books. She believes she has
q future In moving pictures.
Sne mas finished one play, called tho
Great Pearl Affair."" which she adj
mits y highly sensational. but she
hopes to produce. some OF Q far higher
character, using Warwick castle and
Gaston lodge in Essex as settings. She
Also Intends to produce educational
ideas in dramatic form.
me brilliant countess has had an
interesting career. A little mor than
~ years ago she was a member OF the
smart set Of the late King Edward,
then of course. the Prince Of Wales.
Her wit and beauty had won her q high
place In court life, when almost in a
day she entered into a shadow from
which h never emerged. The crime
she was accused of was tattling, and in
royal circles that Is an u~nforgiveable
offense.
When King Edward VII was the
Prince of Wales he had q set that
was last and furious. The Countess Of
Warwick belonged to that set and 1t
- said that The was the only woman
In England Of whom the Princess AL
was Jealous.
In 1891. when the Duke of Portland
was about to entertain the prince at his
country place. Welbeck abbey, the
usual list of guests was submitted to
the prince. The name OF ~ Brooke
was not on 1t. The PRIV OF Wales
ske h reason. The d. OF Port
land answered that Daisy Brooke would
not be received by his vito.
Then things happened. The beautiful
nalace Of Welbeck abbey was without
the royal visitor. for instead of going
there. the prince instead accepted an
. rich ship builder named Wilson. And
the beautiful Daisy Brooke. who was
the Countess Of Warwick was invited
also: But the death OF the stepfather
OF b countess prevented her attend
ance.
A few days later a pamphlet signed
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
NEGROES PROTEST
BOXING PROHIBITION

s tAtE
Albany, N. z. Special: Attorney Gem
oEsA Carmody has received q commune
cation from a committee OF negro citt-
sens OF New York city protesting
against the rule adopted by the New
York State Athletic commission pro-
htbitinG boxing ard sparring exhibi-
lions In this state between white and
colored persons. The committee claims
that the athletic commissions ruling
10 unfair and discriminating.
The letter points out that the rule
was adopted with q view to preventing
Jack JOHNSON, the colored heavyweight
champion. from appearing In New York
state. The committee contends that Il
is unfair to adopt q rule. which II
aimed at an Individual. but which In
reality operates az q bar against all
colored boxers.
Some time ago Mr.. Carmody rend-
cred an opinion at the request Of the
commission. in which he held. in effect.
adopt q rule prohibiting the so-called
mixed bouts. unless such action WA
based on the ground that these exhibit
lions might tend to- cause disturbance
OF the peace. However, he pointed
out that the commission had no right
to place g ban Upon such matches IL lta
action was based solely upon tho ques-
ton OF race discrimination.
II have given an opinion 60 the Ath-
letic commission" said Mr.. Carmody IN
. letter to the committee. which filed
the protest, that they have no right
to make Q rule prohibiting the meeting
Of white and colored boxers unless such
meeting leads to disorder"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
just What Is 4celdrf
From the Attieboro Sun,

The good m welfare committee OF the
national jewelers. board Of trade is en-
deavoring to get from the thousand or
more members Of the association express
sions Of opinion upon the moaning Of the
definite action is taken toward regulating
the use Of these terms by law. Every
member Of the association received Z
stamp and addressed postal, with request
that he answer the following question up
on Il and mail It to the board:
]. Do you consider It advisable ia
amend b stamping laws to provide fol
Q mlnimum standard for gold? "
II o what karat fineness should that
minimum bel /
1. DO you consider the term. .solsd
gold," a. indicating = qualityf
It lmDly3
me result OF this referendum WIN =
watched with interest q indlcating TIE
trades idee Of the meaning Of, the words.
II - possible that other o~r9anisaioha
Q do the same. or that Z section 81 th1
retail trade may also be canvassed. Il tho
American National Retail JeWeleri' Asio.
citation does not take referendum q IL
oWn.s
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26

country and has received private adj
vices from various sources on the POI
tato situation in America. He insists
that powdery scabs found on potatoes
ron Ireland is no cause for q quar-.
antine because a similar blemish al
ready 10 common in the United States
and declares that continuance OF the
embargo will contribute to the grow
ing cost Of living.
Secretary Houston and the federal
horticultural board held a conferences
after Mr.. ellis statement, but no acc
ton was announced. Representative
Mcclellan, of Tennessee, author Of Z
pending bill to prohibit the keeping OF
products in cold storage for more than
80 days. was In conference today with
department Of Justice officials over the
departments investigation OF the
storage of eggs. poultry and dairy
products: 1t is said that a preliminary
inquiry has revealed the fact that, SIS
per cent Of the present egg supply
held in storage is In the hands Of the
great meat packers OF the country.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
Within ran Year..

From the Dallas TimeB-Herald.
These are reasonably safe predictions:
Within 10 years women will be voting In
every = STATE a;;,' in Il the union union ! y within IL e year: !:
least, wearing clothing similar to that
worn by man; however. it Is doubtful II
our women will shoulder h musket In
time Of w2r-that will still remain the
mans duty. within 10 years we may have
national prohibition. The future Is bright
or gloomy, according to your viewpoint.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26
WOULD STOP SEARCH
INTO COST Of LIVING
Untermeyer Offers Plan to Be
gin All Over and Prevent
Repetition Of Crimes.

Springfield, Mass Special. The
dime has come. in the opinion Of Sam
uel Untermyer, who was chief counsel
for h Pujo committee investigating
tho money trust, TO restore confidence
In the Industries Of the United States,
including the railways. How this
could be accomplished. he outlined In
"a halt should be called" he said.
upon further governmental investi-
cations into the private crimes ia the
footing Of corporations. b slate
should be wiped clean and the work
laws to make impossible repetitions Of
previous ofEenses should be begun with
q general amnesty to past Offenders
not yet apprehended.
~The currency bill now before con-
3ress should be passed:
they will perish whilst we are refrani-
Ing the laws under which they are
hereafter TO live.
abolish fiscal agencies, so-called.
voting trusts and i~nterlocking dfrec-
torates.
make It q criminal offense for any
officer or director OF . corporation to
borrow from Of make . profit Of his
corporation.
Prohibit national banks and inter-
locking directors In potentially CONF
petinE Corporations.
Destroy holding companies.
'Give minority stockholders repre-
sentation In the directorates OF their
corporations.
place railroad reorganixations UNI
der the control Of the Interstate Conn
msrce commission and Of the courts.
compel tho incorporation Of stock
EXCHANGES 20. that the books Of their
members nay be subject to govern
mental inspection.
transactions and especially require the
fullest disclosure Of. al prodts OF
msrketing securities sold to the pub
lie.
Limit the airectors 2. na a
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26

Lady River appeared on the London
streets. 1t told Of an orgy at Tranby
Croft, Of q baccarat game in which the
Prince Of Wales practically took the
more wine was drunk than was neces-
sary. Persons In London believed they
say through the name OF Lady River
q thin disguise for Lady Brooke.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-12-26

Large quantities OF eggs are beina
sent from Prince Edward island to the
Boston market since the new tariff Ian
came into effect.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
IMMIGRATION ON, COAST
May BE DISTURBED

Labor conditions on the Coast, 1t is
said, are being disturbed within the
meaning of the Immigration law of
1897 as a result OF the large number
of Spanish and Portuguese laborers
who leave Hawaii every year for the
mainland, and it is probable that the
president will be asked to issue an ex-
Fecutiye order forbidding the landing
of these aliens in continental United
States. u r s...
An order was: issued by Theodore
Roosevelt, during the. time when he
was president, barring the entrance of
Korean and Japanese laborers into the
United States from Hawaii, at which
time he was acting under the immi-
grafton law of 1897. It Is now said
that If the Spanish and Portuguese la
borers continue to pour into California
from Hawaii, the labor leaders will
ask the president to issue an order
similar to the one issued by Roosevelt,
which will apply to the Spanish and
Portuguese laborers. Under the pres
ent immigration laws, II the president
be convinced that aliens are going to
Hawaii or any other insular possession
in order that they can then go to the
mainland, he may Issue IAN order Bar
ring these aliens from the mainland
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
TEAL PLAYERS PRESENT
JOLLY MUSICAL FARCE

The Raymond Teal players last
night presented for the first time in
Honolulu The College Boy" a must.
cal farce of the cohanesque type. The
comedy situations develop from case
If mistaken identity in which the col
lege boy is mistaken for the bell boz
and the bell boy is mistaken for t;ss
college boy. They are eapably handled
by Geo. Chesebro and Fritz Fields.
Miss Lille Sutherland was excep.
ticnably good as Peggy, the telephone
girl, and her rag-song How Do You
Do, Miss Ragtime," was repeatedly en-,
cored. +@-.-. = g. '.e~s %>~ n n, = p.
Chas lie Roy as the henpecked hus-
{ and, and Miss Corrine Carkeek as
the tyranical wife brought forth many
laughs. -s,zss - @~.~ y. 80, vi -
The Teal Ducklings' are still hold
ing their reputation of being the best
working chorus that ever played in
Honolulu. = s. Il, LIS 5% s.. 1
Tonight the performance will start
at o'clock sharp as there will he a
chorus girls contest. The chorus
girls will all do new speciaities and
they are all fighting hard for the first
prize there win be two PERFORMANCES
!, at popular prices. & = +. Y
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
!. N. {. A. PLANS
new BUREAU TO
HELP JAPANESE

The board of harbor commissioners
at its last meeting granted the Young
Mems Christian Association permission
to conduct a bureau of information for
Japanese in one Of the rooms next to
those now occupied by the promotion
committee at the Alakea wharf The
bureau is to be conducted by the jap
anese branch of the local association
under the direction OF Secretary B. NJ
Matsuzawa.
When Rev. T. Okimura, pastor of the
Makiki Japanese church, made his re-
cent tour of the world, he found that
such bureaus were the source of val
liable information in many of the
large cities which he visited, and he
realized that Honolulu was conspicu-
ously lacking In this respect. Mr. Oki-
mura, who is also vice-president of the
Japanese association. took the matter
of the establishment of a bureau to the
people of Honolulu who are interested
in association work, who, in turn, took
the matter to the board of barbor COM
missioners. The 81 permission was
granted and the room will be fitted out
as soon as the necessary III range
ments are completed - - :
The establishment of this. bureau
will be great convenience to the in
coming Japanese businessmen and
tourists as well as to the immigrants,
who will find there men we'll Informed
on local conditions who will provide
them with literature concerning the
islands. .+......s. .-.~...
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
APPEARS AT
COUNTRY CLUB TONIGHT

When Malini gave an exhibition at
the roof garden of the Young Hotel
last evening the room was entirely
filled with local society people and
tourists One of the most interested
persons of note IN the audience was
the Princess kaWananakoa.
To say that Malini succeeded in
cimpletely mystifying the company
would be useless for that is his bust
ness and he knows his business we'll.
Though he stated many times during
the evening that he was not devil,
Just little bit OF a devil, there were
many in the audience who left the
hall feeling that he had learned lot
from his satanic majesty or from
some very close friend of his.
Tonight Malini will please the mem
bers of the Oahu Country Club and
their friends and in the near future he
will give another performance at the
Young
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07

done by Mr. Kemp is little short OF
a marvel. Such color. such fidelity to
nature | have rarely if ever seen be-
fore anywhere. ! am delighted to
think that when Mr.. Kemp leaves here
nc will take with him material for
just such a leciG.e on Hawaii, illus
trated by his camera and moving pic
ture machine. He Is a wizard at his
work"
With such backing the Kemps. hus-
band and wife. are going ahead on
their task OF preserving for the folk
Of the mainland. sights and scenes of
Hawaii-nei, the like of which they
M q never seen before.
The Kemps will give two other lee
lures, both beautifully illustrated later
on. The first of these will be "Yel
lowstone Park, and the Sioux IN
dams" and the last on Friday next,
will be panama and the Canal up to
Date" This last both say is the
finest both in illustration and ma
terial that they have yet produced.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
7. w. C. A. IN JAPAN SHOWS
A REMARKABLE; GROWTH

For the past seven years the Young
Women's Christian Association In ia
pan has been working among students
In Toxic and other cities and has now
a total membership ofSf, 500 through
out Japan. In@Tokio there are two
student hotels which = accommodate
more than sixty students from large
variety of schools, and other educa-
tional and religious work Is being
carried on for Japanese young women.
If Toxic is ,pre-eminently an educa-
tional center. it may be, said that Yo-
Ekohama is commercial center and
one finds in Yokohama a compare
lively large number of Japanese girls
who are at work during the day in
offices and other places of business as
stenographers, office secretaries,
clerks, etc.
The Significance of this important
phase in the economic development of
Japan cannot be overlooked by any
who are interested in the development
of the nation. Whatever one may
think about the wisdom of women in
Japan entering into commercial life
as they are increasingly doing in the
larger centers, it is fact to be reck-
oned with, as the tide cannot be
Lstemmed That little If anything is
being done for the intellectual and
moral uplifting of such young women
is a fact much to be deplored. A
number of people. both foreign and
Japanese, are being consulted as to
the ACCESSIBILITY of the Y. w. c. A.
making an attempt to help in some
practical way these girls, many of
whom are we'll educated and speak
English comparatively we'll. 1t is
hoped therefore that in the near flu
ture funds may be secured to warrant
the association in securing rooms in a
central place which could be used for
a noon rest, for special classes out of
office hours, and other such work as
should develop as time went on.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07

Those here who have seen the pic
lures which Mr.. and Mrs. Edward Fl.
Kemp are going 10 SLOW in their lee
ture on the Indians of the Painted
Desert" at the opera house tomor-
row night are making friends for the
artists everywhere, with the reports
Of the wonder effects the art proto-
graphy of Mr.. Kemp has succeeded in
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-02-07
K0OL AUL0A BURGLAR
T 49,. INDICTED BY JURY

y. In. it's partial report submitted to
Judge Robinson yesterday afternoon
the territorial grand Jury indicted RE
bano Pike, believed to be the burglar
who terrorized the residents Of the
Koolauloa district for several weeks
until his arrest by Deputy Sheriff Lpa-
hiwa last week. A revolver, said &c
have been taken from one of thu
houses looted. was found on him 81
the time of his apprehension. He Il
indicted for entering the store of ChuI
Alma on the right of January 8. b
Walter C. willis also was indicted
on the charge of assaulting Edward
Holt with a weapon obviously danger.
Gus to life, on Jan. IL. tsst f, g.