The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-01
ON THE SPUR
OFTHE MOMENT
The Dinrx or
BY ROY X. MoULroN.

Inc Diary of Bonehcnd
N;ter riding tho last fifty-nine miles
;,,t ti .hlhs sentleman's elbow crowded
INTO my ear and stout ladv,s nar,soi
'apoeu between two OF my most importl
ant ribs, my new straw hat damned
uown over my ears. one foot I'm n lunch
oaskct and youngster on each knee,
packed in so tightly that we couldn,t
reach into our pockets to get o,,r ticI,
cts made up my wind that the sun
day excursion to tho festive papier ma
enc ana stucco summer resort was not
Tor me and mine, ever again.
WIN an ear full Of cinders and a
heart full of woe, sit me down to
swear by my faithful diary, that any
ncrson or persons who by intent or
malice aforethought endeavors to on
'ice me OH Sunday railroad outing
VIII be shot on the spot and the remains
shipped to the nearest crcmatory
| Our gay little party started at +
O'clock In the morning, with enough
optimism to supply the government
| Weather Bureau for seven years and
enough food to last the Bulgarian army
| through an entire siege of CONSTANT
| nople The optimism lasted about half
an hour. and the food gave out before
dinner time.
There were seven adults and thirteen
children, seven lunch baskets. twelve
umbrellas, five baby cabs, seven Their
mos bottles, five hot water bags and n
email charcoal stove to cook the coffee
on l carried three children, the small
charcoal stove, two lunch baskets and
,wo umbrellas
Alter a painful journey in coach
and really carried ISIS. and being side
| tracked five times to allow freight
trains TO go by, we got TO our desti-
| ration typical resort, where people
do everything but resort
| we began paying for things as soon
| got from fba raj ri
see any of the scenery. All that we
saw were open palms stretched out
under our noses There was nothing
| Tree excepting the air, and that was not
very good. Transient picnic parties
| like ours were obliged to camp out in
] The picnic grounds, which were out on
! the lee side of Il tannery with Il strong
! swimmer resort wind coming from the
| other side of the tannery. There is
| only one thing more pcrsistently chum-
| my on Il hot day than a tanncry, and
/ that is n fertilizer factory. We were
! told that there was no fertilizer factory
at This resort but toat there was one
at the next resort down the lake. If we
cared to try that one next time
Five of the children fell in the river
enc at n time. Children never fall in
all ut once. They draw the agony out
as long rs possible. The first one fell
in soon after we arrived, and the last
one just before we were ready to de-
part for home. Three were lost in the
woods and not recovered until five min
utes before train time. and the lunch
baskets were ovcrrun with red ants to
the extent that we We're obliged TO
put up 81 Il head for dinners n the re
sort hotel. the dinners being almost as
good as we could have secured at n 25-
cent restaurant at home on circus day.
We made the trip to the resort in
| three hours The return trip occupied
seven hours. Railroad people have the
faculty of forgetting excursion trains
entirely after they once reach their
destination. 1t never occurs to a rail
road company that an excursion is in
three times rs much of n hurry to get
home rs it is to get to the resort.
Flea bitten, chiGgcr stung. lame, halt
and half blind, we register our solemn
vow. Never again.