davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05
Observation-Disclosures

''To midgets you look as ele-
plants look to you, course
and clumsy. Your ears are
enormous. Your eyes are
like moons. Your teeth re-
mind me of tombstones."
marry is that women are so vain.
Don't I see it? They crowd about
me and if I lean toward one and
kiss her cheek and tell her I ad-
mire her she nearly faints with Joy
and pride. She believes me, the
featherheadl I generally pick out
the ugly ones, but that makes no
difference. They are quite over
whelmed with joy and from that
minute think they're the most fas-
cinating women on earth. How
could I marry such woman? Her
head would be turned by the next
artist she met at a side show and
If he happened to be Eddie the
Skeleton, or Jim the Giant, or the
Turkish Fakir, who cries "Allahl"
when he eats hot Goals, what could
I do?
But there's compensation for be-
ing a midget-lots Of it. People
come to see US and pay to see US
Who shall pay to see you who
read what I've written? No one
Not a nickel. But they pay SO
much to see me that I receive a
salary of $500 a week, and, lift me
up on your shoulder so that 1 can
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05

whisper in your ear, I save most
of it.
I'm a good business man. 1
don't spend my money on flash
jewelry, nor on wine and song and
women. I am building with my
savings a castle on Lake Como, in
my native Italy, and there my Lady
of Lyons will be between book
covers.
A cane? Oh, yes. I need it to
keep people away when they press
too close, especially the women.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05
Up-to-Date Jokes

Teacher-John, can you tell me
what is meant by a steward?
John-A steward is a man who
doesn't mind his own business
Teacher-Where did you get that
1dea2
JOhn-Well. I looked It up IN the
dictionary and it said, "A man who
attends to the affairs Of others"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05

are melancholy. People like to
look at midgets. They don't at
dwarfs. That's the reason mid
gets get rich. They're a cheerful
sight.
The world looks all right to me
for big clumsy folk like you, just
as Texas would be a great State
for elephants. They would have
so much room to turn around in It.
What I would like would be to
have an island about as big as
Coney, build lot of decent sized
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05
The Giraffes That Spindle Up Into Tower. the
Astonishing Aspect of Elephants, the Terrifying
Policemen and the Beautiful Tomato Ladies

wife or nonel But do not expect
to marry. I am twenty-eight and
have not careu for marriage.
Bachelor freedom suff1ces me.
One reason resolved never to
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-05

houses, gather lady and
gentlemen midgets about
me and be their king, as
Lebaudy wanted to be the
Emperor of Sahara. Great
dream, isn't it?
Cigarettes =? Yes. I
smoke 'em. but mostly as
an excuse to not answer
when people ask silly
questions. Don't smile
that superior smile at your
superiors. I dare you to
produce one Of your hui
man elephants that's per-
fectIy formed. Bring him
on, III wager my castle in
Como. that. I've got the
money in bank to build,
that his figure hasn't the
symmetry of mine.
Mind you, a midget neJ
drunk Ordinary men do.
il to you which is the wise
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Governor Browns Message
A Statesman'S Views of Some of the
Most Important Problems in Georgia.

Governor Joseph M Browns retiring message to the Cen
eral Assembly remarkably clear statement of the views of
remarkably clear thinking executive
should be read carefully and anaycay by every Geor
gian for considers extensively many questions of i'm
port and ar-reaching consequence.
worth in the world will find many people who with what
be says, and many others who dissent.
The Georgian heartily Endorses the greater part of the
sage However there portions of the message
which Georgian finds itself unable agree with Cover
Brown.
In discussing questions the Governor goes much fur
Their than his place would goevn dare CO.
is distinctly to his credit however that he faers not in
setting down the things he believes He statesman not
politician He fully entitled to have that much said of him.
the of his vacating the governOrship.
Brown will be heard from again in Georgia poll
tics His friends loyal give him up apprecave of
his services to him retire.
The impression is that he still very much alive and that
he will continue very much alive for MANY days to
This should be- Men of his type and character
needed in Georgia-MEN WHO RESPECT THE LAW, and in
within it dwes the greatest and surest protection
society and the State and who have the courage of their con
tions manhood speak them frankly and freely,
may necessary and then.
bidding him goodbye Chief Magistrate of Georgia. the
Georgian Governor Brown its good wishes and the
assurance of its high regard
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
The Reciprocal Idea.
japanese Labor Cheap, but Not Good
Selected by EDWIN MARKHAM.

T NEVER glance into Clarence
Poe's book, Where Half the
World Is Waking Up" with
out finding some interesting view
of the human problem, This vista
of japanese labor is timely:
In the very outset. the as
sumed parallel between Japan's
rise as a military power and her
predicted rise as an industrial
power should be branded as the
groundless non sequitur that 1t is.
All our present has its roots in
the past, as my first Japanese
acquaintance said to me; and we
ignore fundamental facts when
we forget that, for centuries I'M
numbered, Japan existed for the
soldier, as the rose bush for the
blossom. The man of martial
courage was the goal of all her
striving. the end of all her ira
vail. Society was military aris-
tocracy. the Samurat the privi-
legged class. And at the same time
commerce was despised as dis
honorable and industry merely
tolerated as a necessary evil.
In the race she has to run,
moreover. the Mikado land has
no such advantages az many of
our people have been led to be-
lieve. In America 1t has long
been my conviction that cheap
labor is never cheap; that So
called cheap labor is a curse to
any communicated because it is
cheap, but because it is ineffi-
cient. The so-called cheap negro
labor in the South. for example,
have come TO regard as perhaps
the dearest on the continent.
Here in Japan, however. was
quite prepared to find that this
theory would not hold good. BY
reason of conditions in a print
tive stage of industrial organiza-
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

ton, ] thought that l might find
cheap labor with all the advan-
tages lin so far as there are
any), and few of the disadvan-
tages, encountered elsewhere. But
1t is not so. An American fac
tory owner in Osaka, summing
up his Jobs trials with raw jap
anese labor, used exactly my own
phrase in a newspaper article a
few days ago. Cheap labor is
never cheap And all my investi-
cations have convinced me that
the remark is as applicable in
Japan as it is in America or Eng
land.
The per capita wages of jana
nese laborers in Japan are. OF
course, amazingly low. The latest
1910 statistics of Japan, as fur
nished by their Department Of
Finance, indicates a daily wage
(American money! of 40 cents
for carpenters. 81 IA cents for
shoemakers. "a cents for black
smiths, rs IL cents for COMPOST
tors. 10 1-2 cents for male farm
laborers and % cents for male
weavers, and IL cents for female.
In the cotton factories I visited.
those of the better sort. the
wages run from cents a day for
the youngest children to rs cents
day for good women workers.
But in spite of the fact that
such figures as these were well
known to my Japanese host Gone
Of the Emperor's privy council
Tors, and a man of much travel
and culture), he expressed the
conclusion that Japanese factory
labor when reduced to terms Of
efficiency is not greatly cheaper
than European, an opinion which
has since grown rather trite. in
view of the number of times that
l have heard it."
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Is Woman, Like a Rabbit, Made
to Breed?
c. B. Shaw Says That the English Statesman So Consider Her
A Good Many Statesmen America Have the Same Idea.


Shaw the clever redheaded Ishman says British
Prime Minister puts ones mother the footing of rabbit
bad description Others besides Asquith look upon
merely breeding machine made to produce human
being intervals and do homework and take of
man between whes
In this country are many that opinion-he
shame to them
But luckily there also fortunate in their
perence than those who look upon their mothers
as dull machines, unfit to vote unable to think.
Americans and English Irish Germans and Others proud
of the fact that their something than
species rabbit something than slaves to drudge
the household and let superior beings in coat and trousers
think for them.
The number power those that would treat
as rabbits breeding machines diminishing The number of
those who realize that women problems
have solved their problems WITH BALLOT fortunately
increasing.
That extraordinarily courageous young Miss Dav
son. killed the Derby track the other day. set
tied one foolish argument against suffrage
Idiots fond saying that could not vote be-
cause they lacked physical courage.
The favorte argument of the fool Since women can't
go can't fight can't be policemen and can't catch bur
glars, how they expect to voter
Miss Dawson who lies in her having given her life to
make impression dumnded stupidity has settled once
and for all the silly argument about woman courage
She determined to rebuke the Queen of England who had
forbidden women to wear equal suffrage badges
She the Derby track determined to seize the
Kings horse by the bride and pull him to the ground
Do you know what kind of undertaking that was?
Imagine twenty horses flashing the turf at the rate of
thirty miles hour faster Ask yourself YOU could den
fy the coors of particular jockey riding for the King rush
that crowd of horses that particular horse and
drag him to the ground.
That is exactly what Miss Dawson did She killed herself in
doing but she disposed of the asnine argument that
ought not to vote because she hasn't courage
How many do you suppose could find in the British
Army able to do what that woman did?
Another who has discouraged the silly talk against
courage and determination is that magnificent leader
and heroic fighter Mrs. Pankhurst
Feeble and past middle age she has defed successfully the
whole power of England.
They have locked her up and she has starved herself until
they forced to let her for die
their hands
She will die in the end of and before long probably
Meanwhile she has demonstrated that woman is in
spite the cowardy and brutal treatment
jeced, viii find way to assert and get her rights.
Woman is NOT mere breeding machine human rabbit
and she doesn propose be treated forever
Men will find that out later and may it be
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
PERTINENT PARAGRAPHS

Atlanta girls have taken to
wishing sashes." The wearer
makes wish as she ties on the
sash, and has to wear 1t until the
wish is realized. Seems to me we
should pick out a mighty easy
wish, for fear of having to sleep
through hot night with a heavy
sash bound around us.
A Hawaiian crater has been
turned into a fort. Here's hoping
the volcano doesn't become active
after the magazine has been filled.
If you attempt to follow the
business rules of the successful
man, you viii probably find that
they do not fit your case.
When we observe what some
men do and consider what they
could accomplish. we marvel at
the idiosyncraSies of the human
race,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

Another race for the Americas
Cup. What with yachting cups
polo cups and other cups that
are piling up in this country. we'i
have to build some new store
houses If our rivals don't lift some
of them soon.
Society is divided over the
tango. Some think it's naughty
and must therefore be nice:
others think it's nice and must
therefore be naughty.
OF course there is no such
thing as a sugar lobby. Can't a,
man spend 100000 for desirable
publicity" without being badgered
about it?
The reluctant buyer generally
secures the bargains.
Horse racing in England has
become the sport of suicides
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

show the man on the bench has chance to draw
blood to the surface of the other mans skin, and
Whiskey, with its m allied fist, always leaves a
mark. The the bench NEVER gets
chance to win.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
By John TEMPLE GRAVES

SKILL, INDUSTRY AND La
Dor. Never except with one
eye and sometimes both eyes,
squirting backward over their
shoulders.
The idea OF presenting a united
front is not now, and never has
been, adequately considered.
AS against all the world we
have certain natural and certain
acquired advantages, and in re-
spect to particular nations we are
at certain disadvantages.
To Extend Our Markets.
Every country able to do so Is
fully and capably exploiting these
our disadvantages. Whether it be
Germany or France, Venezuela or
Brazil, each has found that par
ticular weak spot in our tariff ar
NOR which concerns il and each
is driving the knife in full up to
the hilt.
But we fritter away our advan-
tages and we fight among our
selves
Reciprocity is the policy. To
give other nations an open way to
our markets in the things we need,
and to secure IN full return an
open way to their markets for our
most desired product. This is the
fair, reasonable policy. A reduc-
ton of the tariff may be a good
thing. AN EXTENSION OF OUR
MARKETS is CERTAINLY A
GOOD THING.
If we can get the extension of
our markets while we are getting
the reduction of our tariff we will
undoubtedly be doing a wise and
beneficial thing. THERE SEEMS
NO OTHER WAY IN WHICH
WE CAN DO THIS so LOCI
CALLY AND so SURELY AS
BY RECIPROCITY.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

The Bontoc Igorrotes of the Philippine Islands
play what they call slapping game. One man
sits on bench; the other slaps him with all his
might on the thigh. Sh ould blood show beneath
the skin the slapper wins. If blood does not
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

WHETHER high or low, pro-
wv tective or revenue. our
tariff laws have always
been built upon one and the
same model.
Wing, Democrat or Republican,
the point of view of the matter
was always the same. The Walk
er, Wilson, Mckinley, Dingley
and Payne laws are like the IN
derwood bill, in that they all look
inward. They are all intended to
produce a certain amount of rev.
enue, and primarily or incident
ally to benefit, protect" 1t is
called, someone in the country at
the expense Of someone else in
the country.
Or if 1T be a free trade provi-
sion to destroy someone's advan-
tage for someone else's benefit,
this latter is a case Of putting
the bottom rail on top.
The clashing interests are
those of one group against an
other. Of one section against an
other. of producer against con-
sumner. or of middleman against
one or both, but always the clash
of interest is American against
American. We may shut the
foreigners goods out or we may
let them in, but always in the
interest of someone of our own
groups. or factions, or industries
as against the others.
The Reciprocal" Idea.
Never have our legislators
grasped the RECIPROCAL"
idea-the idea of the great IN
TERNATIONAL value of a tariff
law. Never have they sought to
use the TARIFF AS A LEVER
TO PRY OPEN THE WORLDS
MARKETS FOR THE ENTRY
OF THE PRODUCTS OF OUR
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
John Temple Graves
Writes on
The Common Sense
of Tariffs

If We Can Get the Extension of
Our Markets While We Are
Getting the Reduction of Our
Tariff, He Says, We Will I'm
doubtedly Be Doing a Wise
and Beneficial Thing.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
"BOOKIES"
TO REIGN AT
HAVRE DE GRACE

The Hartford Race Track. at Havre
de Grace, Md. is not going to close
On the contrary it will hold IT'S Spring
racing meet at the. regular time
April is to May / The old system
Of betting win prevail in the ring
according to information received in
this city Yesterday. and which was
quoted by a man prominently identi-
fed with the Hayre de Grace races
Conflicting rumors have been circu-
lated during the Winter 10 The effect
that the bookmaking system of bet
ting was TO be replaced by pari-
mutuel machines which would be in
stalled at the track
Following these rumors came others
TO the effect that the track would
be closed by the owners if the Racing
Commission of Hartford County Insist
ed on the installation OF the pari-
mutuel machines. since It was said
that the running of the track would
then no longer be profitable.
The rumors have all been dissipated
by the resumption Of activities at the
track and the announcement of the
Spring races, which are looked for
ward too eagerly by sporting men in
the East
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
DUPONT CLUB
AFTER TROPHY

Saturday afternoon should go down
in history as one Of the notable ones
at the DUPONT Gun Club In addition
to the contests for the Eugene e. du-
Pont trophies. the hnal ownership OF
the Glass "B" and ID" cups will be
determined. Handicaps have been
allotted TO each contestant and the
competition will therefore be conduct
ed on the most equitable basis.
Saturday afternoon, April 5, marks
the sixth shoot in the Philadelphia
Trapshooters League series. The
locals try conclusions with the for
midable Highland Shooting Associa-
ton Of Edge Hill. Pa. The match
viii be shot on the DUPONT Gun Club
grounds. Every member OF the local
.trapshooting organization is urged TO
be present as IL is necessary for the
DUPONT Gun Club TO win this race
and the one on May 3, at Meadow
Springs. Pa. TO land the pennant for
the season OF 1912 and 1913 The
Highland team is worthy opponent,
and have lost but two races this year
to the champions. 5. S. Whites and
Meadow Springs. Snoule the du-
Pont Gun Club loose the April match
il would result in a triple tie for
first place The Highland Shooting
Association is circularizing all OF its
members and is making every effort
TO win.
Any number OF Wilmingtonians are
expected TO view this contest as they
seem TO be enthusiastic over the pros.
poets OF trapshooting pennant reach
ing Wilmington
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
VET OF MANY
GAMES WITH THE
CHICKS NEXT WEEK

In addition TO the thirty or thirty
one players that will report to Jimmy
Jaokson's school for baseball next
week there will be one person pres
ent that knows more about baseball
and can tell more hairsplitting tales
of the diamond than can any Chick
veteran yet signed
The parsonage is 10 other han
Thomas II. Bardon, the official ground
keeper for the coming season. Tom
has seen more years Of baseball than
has any man coming TO this city, and
yet he is still in active service. but
as groundkeeper
He was the groundkeeper of the
park which the Athletics formerly
graced as their home before ShiOe
Park came into existence. Day after
day, the new keeper of the Chi, ks
lair watched the fortunes of Amer-
can League baseball, and the result
Is that he can spin as good yarn
at any tanning bee as you wanted to
hear
II you doubt this just 60 out to
Front and Union Park some bright
sunshiny day before the season opens
this coming Spring and get into the
good graces of Tom Bardon. The
groundkeeper is long standing
FRIEND of Mr. Brown and Mr. Cassidy
In addition he is an expert at his
business and promises to get the
park in such good shape that il will
not be recognized
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
GOLDEY BOYS
WORK OUT FOR
BASEBALL SPORT

The Goldey College aggregation Of
ball tossers have been out in the
grass all week limbering up and ssom
the present indications will have a
team worthy as a success OF last
years famous bunch of ball tossers
The 1872 team was one of the best
ever possessed by the college and
Went through the season with only
one deafcat The team played classy
aggrcgations and came through with
a clean slate until it struck Girard
College whore they dropped one by
the score OF to /. II will be re-
membered that wilkins who is back
again this year pitched this game
and allowed only one hit He lost
through a bull by one of his sup
portors
The veterans who are out again
are Wilkins. Long, Cam, and Little
ton.
other men who are trying for posi-.
tons are Lindell. Savage. Thompson
Richardson. Downs. Pruit Keith
Baker Ahern, Cloud, Walls and
Gooding.
The stenogs will open their bill OF
fare with High School on April 9th
and Brown Prep. will appear here
on the 18th. st. Joseph's, Of the
Quaker city, are also booked and a
local boy, otto Mahoney may be in
the visitors lineup Girard College,
r. NJ. c. of Chester. Conference
Acadeym and the Philadelphia School
of Pharmacy arc also on the list OF
opponents.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
HIKERS, AFTER
HARDSHIPS, MOVE
ON TO WHEELING

William Phillips. Jr.. and Walter
L. ioore, members of Mattahoon
Tribe, lmp'd o. r NJ, who left this
city last Monday to hike to San Fran
cisco. arrived in Lancaster. Pa, on
Wednesday night, after making stops
at Centreville. Del, Mendinhall Pa,
unionville. Pa, and Gainesville, Pa.
In a letter received here they speak
Of spending one night in a deserted
farmhouse and another night in a
barn. They left CoatesviHe Wednes-
day morning, walking % miles Ia
Lancaster, in heavy rain. There
they obtained the Mayors signature
and are now on heir way to Wheel
ing w. Va.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1913-03-28
TRI-STATE SCHEDULE
INFLAMMATION AM HONE.

With Allentown Nay I, II. Is, %.
June lG. Il, July 1. n. M. (, p. NJ,
>. q. 10. august I. ,. %, 26.
With Trenton-May ,. 3, PC. %.
June Is, 10. July II. 10. August
1. >. -, 2S.
With Atlantic May >. 6, 10.
H.. y. 20. June .. 10. 20, u.
With Harrisburg May :, s.
June %, -. July lG. Il. August
5, ..
;. %, 20. July is. 10. August II,
SATURDAY GAMES At HOME.
With TrentOn-May Q. York, May
10. Atlantic City. May II. At
lantic City. May II. Allentown.
July ;. Trenton, July II. York.
July 10. Allentown. August ;.
Harrisburg. August ..
HOLIDAYS AT BONE.
With Allentown, July 4, morn
ing and afternoon.
WILMINGTON AWAY.
AZ Allentown April 30. May
~, 30, q. me- y. M, 81. June (, ).
IL. 2S. July 81. -. August 10. IL.
sc Trenton Nay IA. 10. June
6. :. 30. July I. %, ~. August
Is. Is.
At Harrisburg May 10. 20.
June II. II. July y. 20. August
20. 81.
At York-May 81. -. June 10,
IL. July :. $. 30. 81. August -,
%. September I. morning and af-
ternOOn.
AZ Atlantic City-July >. :. a..
-. 25, 26. August 6. Z, Is, 10. 20.
30.
Number Of miles travelled by
teams during season:
Wilmington S679; Trenton, 3s57.
York. s69S; Atlantic city. 1917;
Allentown, 1907; Harrisburg, 1850.