The Hawaiian gazette., 1913-07-29
japanese Humor Re Pinlxham.


Japanese Humor Re Pinkham
While the japanese papers published in Honolulu, have
for the most part had little TO say regarding the nomination
Of L. r. Pnkham Governor of Hawaii appears that
underlying their apparent indifference there is deep feel
ing that this selection of President Wilson s. bodies good
Ito the Orcnals of Hawaii This feeling is expressed
measure by the Japanese lumorist in yesterday morn
ing edition Of the Hawaii Shnpo. Under the title "A
Pinkham Nightmare, he writes that after receiving the
news OF Pnkhan appointment Thursday he went home
and retired and thereon had fghtfu dream to the effect
that Pnkham assuming the guberrhtorial chair had at
once, issued the following laws: ~ u
Act l. The killing of weasels, for which animal ] have
an affection, is strictly prohibited.
Act 2 The Japanese consul to Hawaii must be careful
as TO the language he uses. n
Act g. Persons opposed to free must not enter
Office -
Act A. Voters of the Territory shall follow my example
and change their political creeds after each election.
Ac s. No Japanese laborers shall give better service to-
the plantations than the Filplnos. SIS
Act g. Japanese will not be permitted to swim in the
anywhere within the thrcc-rnile limit.
Japanese shall not be permitted to own houses orr
lands within the city limits hit may cultivate vegetable gar
dens on plantation lands without lease. \
l. Act 8. No Japanese will be permitted to correspond with
former Consul Sao Any Japanese found with letters from
Sato on their persons will be executed
Act japanese doctors must lower their charges seve
yve per cent and their income must not exceed that Off
plantation laborers. a.
10 The Hawaiian Sugar Planters Association is here
by dissolved but the headquarters of the Filipino labor
agent in Manila will be inaiitaned ai.
Act H. In order to the resources of the Terri
tory all Orentas required to eat rice with ehop
stick only. 49,
Act ~ Buddhist priests are REQUIRED to keep their heads
sayen that their number be easily aseertaned by the
Governor $50,
Act 10 Work in PROGRESS the Japanese constate
on Nuuanu street will be stopped at once
Act H. Newspapers printed in the Oriental languages
must not be published in the daytime The evening news
paper must appear at IL $50 p and the morning at
Act 15 japanese fishing boats are required have Twelve
holes four inches square in their bottoms to permit THE In
gressf Of salt water.
Act IS Fishing nets used by Japaese mist be made 81
either iron steel.
Act H. The board Of health shah issue birth or death
certificates in cases attended BY Japaiese doctors
Act 1s, Any Japanese ENGAGED ID planting cane under
e .s hs hSt be ebfd @ raise nors than ten tons
,AetIg of.ntafs are prohbied RON RON using Tie parks
They must use down beoY cane field. fprpafks ....
20 Such field parks must be visited By the Japanese
on Sundays only On Saturdays the bone meal must be
spread in the cane fields used as parks Ite3i = ~
| Thinking I,was in bone meal park felt that Was
sdH5eatipg and in attempting to flee stumbled and 30 Woke
up says the writer The hohr that by the Pink,
ham Jaw for publishing evening newspapers Then
embered that Frear still Governor and felt ease
but fearful Of another nightmare took Pnkham pale pill
and slept thereafter uptil broad daylight
y " 3 ~
Too Foolish Even for the Season
report has been put into circulation that Private Secre-
place for Bert Rvcnburgh while reward for faithful
services rendered His Honor and the party GENERALLY Miles
to be made road supervisor Now while person should
not ne AT year
Of 1913 really believe that there Anything at
all in this My friend Miles cleyer Young politician and
has been rstclass secretary to His Honor, keeping our
noble Mayor of trouble and shielding His fool breaks
most excelently but doubt if he knows anything more
about road than that it is something Which runs between
the buildings and the fields and handy for auto
mobiles t.1,. - ~ ~
i do not for believe that either Perie or Nc
Clellan would make themselves ridiculous to seriously
propose Miles for Smiddy Sob neither dol credit the equal
y absurd report that Rvenburgh either after the road
slpervsorshp could get it il he were Hivenbgf would
make perfectly good Secretary Of the an
Acting Governor on occasions but do not believe that he
would either look well feel home on oling Job or
be able to give the suitable directions to gang Of street
sweepers z x ,l.t. IA 500. ~ 6
i Neither do believe that Engineer Whiteho,se would
name either of the two young men, even il his job
depended upon his carrying out orders So Blease do
let hear any Of such f0oIisless either Miles
Rvenbnrgh for The job of intending our macadam OF co,in
ing the callousses on the city mules.
II HSAa
Suggestion; Nothing More.
The report Sits from the Garden Island that Editor
Brdgewate of the Lhue thought mohder hes managed
get in bad with the powers that be in and around that
settlement and that result His editorial head is
to be OF and put into solution to be preserved
warning for other newspaper who might show
independent mind in handling plantation news
! / am particular adrrer of Mr.. BridgewHter al
editor His publication has often been wonder, Journal
:, btcay and ypographcally hut he has been rAter,
: Kan NJ