davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
to construct a tariff for the good o

to construct a tariff for the good OF
the many.
Mr.. Underwood disregarded the
lobby altogether, and from his hands
came a revenue tariff drawn to the
last line in the interest of the peo-
ple instead of the tariff beneficiaries.
What Mr.. Underwood was able to do
Chairman Simmons and the finance
committee of the Senate should be
able to do, and the bill should be re-
ported to the Senate essentially un-
changed.
The Presidents warning comes at
the right time. It calls public atten-
ton to a great evil. It shows that the
interests are demanding changes at
the hands of a Senate in which the
democrats have but narrow ma
jority. "The government" says the
President, "in all its branches ought
to be relieved from this intolerable
burden and this constant interruption
to the calm progress of debate. |
know that in this ] am speaking for
the members of the two houses, who
would rejoice as much as | would to
be released from this unbearable sit
uation."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
DOING AWAY WITH DREAMS

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Dream books may be a drug on the
market, as the booksellers admit but
that doesn't argue that people have
stopped dreaming. The same old mince
pie and welsh rarebit museums are on
exhibition with their attendant horrors,
and when a man tells you that he
dreamed last night that ne saw the ele-
phant swallow the bull moose all but
his horns you don't see anything super
stitious in the combnation-you merely
tell him to tame his diet and stop drink
ing.
Be that as 1t may, however a New
York doctor says you can rid yourself
of these nocturnal torments by becom-
ing ambidextrous When you use both
hands with equal skill you can defy the
rarebt and brave the pie. and sleep the
sleep of the dead-to-the-w
You see, a right-handed man dreams
with the right lobe of his brain: a left
hand man with the left lobe. If you are
ambidextrous It becomes a lobeal stand
off, as 1t were, and there's nothing do
ing in the nightmare stable.
Sounds dreamy, doesn't it?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
Page and the Reporters.

New York has en- army of clamorous
reporters and staid old London seems to
have something of that sort now said
a travelled man.
Twenty years ago | sojourned in Lon
don for some weeks and the nearest ap-
proach there to breezy American paper
was the Star. But saw nothing like a
yellow journal in London. 1t seems to be
different now. When Ambassador Page
arrived at Euston station he was besieged
by many audacious reporters and one of
them went so far as to ask Mr.. Page If
he would wear knee breeches. The am
bassador gave a tart reply.
1.-THE modern conventional dress of men,
no matter how stylish, is far from being
artistic. A man would look better In knee
rants than in long trousers. But Mr..
Page, bold in many respects, can be
counted upon to do nothing that might
possibly look like aping British court Off
Gals"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
INGENIOUS ARTIST

From Young's Magazine.
Ingenuity can sometimes take the place
of genius" asserts Mabel Wiber, ap-
pearing in 1.-THE Merry Widow" To SUBJ
stantiate her statement she gives the fol-
lowing story:
In north of England town there was
a shiftless man who would never accept
gifts outright, although he was always de-
pending on charity. He painted land
scapes, and an old lady. when benevo-
lently inclined, would hire him to deco
rate her walls with rural scenes, highly
colored in glaring tints, as If nature had
turned color blind.
There were cows in every scene, and
the old lady noticed that all the cows
were up to their knees in water Not one
stood clear on the vivid green hills.
Jorvey,' she remarked to the old
man, why do you always put the cows
in the water?'
It's this way, Mrs. Brindin,' the old
artist responded You see. ma am, l
never learned to paint hoofs' -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Charles Wellington Furlong in Har-
per's Magazine.
cayenne--red pepper to the world at
large. hell to the few thousand of con-
victs transported to this isolated, north
eastern corner of equatorial South
America Here. it was rumored, existed
one of the worlds most antiquated and
revolving penal systems, where thon
sa nds of men are exiled and doomed to
a living death. Men from French
Guiana had intimated conditions which
WED with the cruelties of the old con-
Wet ships.
Groups of convicts lounged about or
lay sick and incapacitated on the We
randas At night the barred iron door
of each dormitory is locked, and outside
PAGES a guard, revolver In hand. Some
times under cover of darkness the in
mates settle feuds Occasionally, to es-
tablish leaders, rival gangs fight with
cudgels, knives and even paving stones
Some disabled, others dead, the most in
domitable are reconciled and form a
tyranncal secret society. Many a poor
wretch breads the night hours and one
suspected of informing may be set upon
by an enraged pack Occasionally muir
der is committed, In profound silence,
and daylight finds dead or dying con-
vict in the passageway or entrance
Questioning is useless and few guards
will risk life in entering the barracks
when smothered cries and cursings
warn them of internal strife.
All the men / talked with were well
disposed toward me, one in particular
a tall well educated man with pair
of dark trimmed glasses and large eyes
fearfully strained through inability to
secure proper lenses.
"You must not lose hope" | told a
group and almost swallowed my own
words. Hope" burst out the rich,
tremulous voice of the tall man. 1T is
always the same; there is no hope here"
mo, no hope here!" was the echoed
murmur of his comrades.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
CONUNDRUM OF THE WORKSHOP

Kping.
a fell
Ard
They to
TIL the
while of
And his
You did it.
of
to Of
is
he
Of
the -
ITS pretty Artr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

a
MI women, too-who lived near the
W. great Mississippi in their early
youth will smile tenderly over Ellis
Parker Buffers reminiscent sketch.
The Big River" in the June Lippin-
colts. It's funny, of course, but there's
a touch of pathos in it, too
The Centennial was the steamer that
came up the Mississippi with an cleo
tric search light.
THAT was the greatest event in my
life," we are told. why, that packet
Well, l shant attempt to tell you what
she meant to the boys of Muscatine.
We talked about her for weeks before
she came up the river, and the more
we taxed the bigger and more wonder
full she grew. By the time the day of
her arrival came she was as long as
the Mauretania, and fast as the
Twentieth Century limited. She was due
at six, and we went down to greet her
as soon as school was out. Five min
utes after we reached the levee we be-
gan asking the boat agent when she
was expected to arrive, and we asked
him regularly every five minutes until
midnight. At first he said, g o'clock
BY o'clock he was saying nothing at
all, and after that he said, Get away
from here. Get away from here, nowv
We were very much afraid of him, for
he always carried a club. Steamb oat
men always did in those days. At any
minute they might have to argue
point with niger roustabout. So
after that we waited until some town
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
FRONTIER COURTEsIEs

From Everybody's Magazine.
The late James r. Keane, himself al
most a forty-nner used to tell many
story about the characters of those
days.
ut was difficult them" he once said
ito be a temperance man, for to refuse
to drink with a forty-niner was a worse
offense than to kiss his wife,
"A forty-niner, twirling his long,
dropping mustache, said to a tenderfoot
in a barroom:
Have some red-eye with me-
Thank you-no,' said the tenderfoot,
total abstainer, firmly.
There was a tense silence in the
crowded bar "A pin could have been
heard to drop. Then the forty
reached back to his hip pocket and said
with a weary sigh:
Hell, can't even take drink with
out KILN . mann"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
enectual protection against the wind and

effectual protection against the WIND ana
rain.
The pyginies powers of enumeration,
also. raised them considerably above the
mental level of the pls insmen, who only
possessed words to denote the first two
numerals, while the little men cotlt
count up to ten. The average height OF
the coast people was rather over feet 6's
inches, the new tribc of hillmen being
only feet s1s inches. Generally speak
ing. they were excciently proportioned.
agile wiry, and eIairently suited to the
densely covered mos1tain country in
which they dwell. In color they varied
little, being what msy be termed choc-
olate hue, slightly fairer than the dwell
ers in the plains.
All were extremely dirty, the only clean
parts being where their bodies had rubbed
against the foliage in their attempts to
force a way through the dense jungle.
There was also some difference to be ob-
served in the small amount of clothing
adopted. All carried .arge string bags
over one shoulder, in which were placed
their limited stock OF earthly possessions.
while round the nack and more rarely as
a form of headdress, were suspended
strings of wallaby .eeth or the shoulder
blades of the same animal.
Though we visited the pygmy village on
three occasions expressly with the pur-
pose of seeing the women, we were un-
able to attain our object, in spite of the
heaviest bribes. Though we offered cne
axe for each woman, this most tempting
offer being finally doubled, they persisted
in keeping the ladies in strict seclus'on,
so that am unable to show Wide World
readers a picture of a>pysmy belle, or
even to describe what they look like.
This curious race * believed to be et
least as ancient as he Andaman Island
ers, and one of the oldest, if not. the very
oldest, inhabitng the globe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
SHAVING WITHOUT A RAzoR

From the New York Telegram.
In Jamaica, the negroes. some of whom
are great dandies In their way, make a
soap out of cocoanut oil and home made
I've; and fine soap 1t is, smooth and
fragrant.
This cocoanut oil soap is used for shaw
ing. When a man wishes to shave in the
morning he starts out with his cocoanut
shell cup and his donkey tail brush and
bottle.
He goes to convenient pool in the
mountain stream where the water is still,
and there is his mirror lie breaks his
bottle on a stone and picks out a good
sharp piece.
Then he fathers his face profuseiy and
begins to scrape away with his piece OF
glass; which works almost as we'll as a
sharp razor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
The city Primary.

public sentiment was strongly against
city primary. and the city democratic
committee evidently had Its earssto the
ground when it let the primary question
CROP" said an old citizen.
'.As has been said, the commission form
of government carries with it tie princi-
pie of non partisan elections in choosing
commissioners. 1t may be assumed that
a number of candidates will enter the
race, but as the election is not until the
latter part of September, 1t would be well
ii the campaign could be kept back until
August. Our citizens as a general rule
like politics. but 40 one, l take IT, favors
q long drawn out canvass.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
WHILE WAITING.

''Fribble takes exercise every morning
before breakfast"
1 presume he would like to be great
athlete?"
mo, he doesn't care two straws about
being husky. He merely whiles away the
time with calisthenics until the bathroom
rush is over"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
POINCARE AND THE WAITER
rom the Kroonstad Times, Soutl

from the hfoonStdu Times, ooutn
Africa.
A pretty little incident occurred at
the banquet given by the French bar
to their illustrious colleague, President
Poincare When dinner was over M.
Poincare called up the waiter who had
watched over his comfort THANK you,
Jacques he said, and shaking hands
with him, slipped a banknote into his
hand. Il won't have it." said the waiter
and, to the amusement and astonish-
ment of those present, there was a
friendy struggle between the waiter
and the president of the republic. NJ
Poincare settled matters by pushing the
note into the mans pocket. slappin g
him on the shoulder. and rising from
the table. Then, seeing inquiry on the
faces round him, he explained: II was
at school with jacques at Sampigny."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
OF DUTCH NEW GUINEA
Capt. C. G. Rawling, in the Wide World

Magazine
For several months all attempts to dis
cover the village of the pygmy people
failed, until one day collecting patty
unexpectedly came across their habita-
tions 1900 feet up tile mountain side. The
pygmies poured in from all directions,
but. though suspicious, ever handune
their bows and arrows, and always Oh
the alert they never attempted host;'i'
ties. Their houses were very superior to
those owned by the plainsmen, wi'ich
were built on the ground with rough tim
Der, sticks, and leaves. while the small
men constructed their dwellings on piles.
raised eight Or 10 feet above the eaftn.
In addition, the interiors were lined Will
strips Of bark, affo.,ljng a more OF less
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

William Conway, a member of the Pitts
Europe, writes that Andrew Carnegie had
decided to grant a pension of $500 year
to five former teachers who had served
of active school work for the last FIVE
years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
BIAAsE.

Complacently | read the news
About the peach crop being Lighted,
And | am learning to refuse
To let myself become excited
Ger Mary Gardens loss of fat,
Or when the papers tell us that
Jack Johnson is again indicted
Chicago Record Herald.
ccmpls Gently I scan the dope
About Ty Cobb and how he's biting:
How Walter Johnson makes 'em grope
And keeps opposing war clubs fitting:
And when it comes to schedule *,
And all the tariff talk each day
l find myself in calmness sitting.
Denver Republican.
Ccmplacently I scan the page
OF garbage facts from Mr. Murray;
do SO thrice with Pankhurst rage,
Nor weep that Mortenegrins scurry.
And when 1t comes to what's the
score.
The three base hit the bleachers' roar,
merely murmur. Il should worry"
Seattle Post-Insclligeneer
Complacently I browse among
The wild aarums of a day,
For | am not by half so young
As when they filled me with lismdy.
About that trouble with the Japs-
Please order me some paper ears
And good pop-gun for that sffray
st. Louis Fest J ispateih
Complacently I sit and gaze
Across the sun-kissed rolling sea.
And dreaming dreams, my fancy strays
Into the land of Srcady
Let others roam the Vastly deep
I'd rather lie ashore and sleep.
Besides. seasicl<pess bothers me.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

The democrats carried the indianapolis
primary election readily. and will elect
full slate of city officials.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

A comprehensive valuation of Buck
ngham palace and it's contents Is given
at $l7,500,o00. The value of one room Is es-
timated at S2 100000.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

President Wilson counts that day lost
when he does not disappoint some OF MS
enemies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

The same ward in the political hospital
awaits Bosses Murphy and Barnes of
New York. They are fighting a reform
that has uniformly been successful.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Ex-Governor Hadley of Missouri is tc
be a witness for Theodore Roosevelt il
the Marquette trial.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Mary Full Stomach, the Indian maid in
the department of the interior, is satis-
fed she can live on the pay she receives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Andrew Carnegie's recent speeches lack
his customary sagacity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Sarah Bernhardt says we do not know
how to eat. The Divine Sarah is not
very plump herself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Cold May mornings do not bring back
buckwheat cakes and sausage just from
the farm.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

1t is very plain there are a good many
republicans who are not ready to mar
moni2e.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

After every big rain discouraging re-
ports come from Alabama public roads.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

The President appointed 179 postmasters
in one day This is by no means slow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

The rare days of May are too rare for
the good of the crops.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

PHILADELPHIA is leading both big leagues,
and no one can detect any flaws in 1T at
present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
STRANGE TASTE.


nan sat in a restaurant
And for his breakfast ordered prunes,
Then gulped them down with manners
scant,
AS If they were the best of boons.
The more we think about his act,
The more we're puzzled to review il;
He ordered prunes-now. that's a fact
And yet, he did not have to do it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

When Frank D. Herbst, 10, an aviation
student at Lima o., told his 17-year-oId
fiancee. Cloida Bishop, that he intended
soon to become a fun fledged aviator; the
me or the old airships. I'm not going to
wear any widows weeds for a few years
yet" You, il youll hurry" he said
firmly. They were married last Monday.
The Japanese have no intention of stay
ing away from the San Francisco exposi-
ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
A TRAGICAL. INTERLJJDE.

The skies were wondrous blue above,
The meadows starred with fragrant
bloom
Yet one whose heart was pierced by love
Wore on his face a look of gloom.
His lady fair with one crisp word
Had dimmed the sunshine of his life;
Her little No" he'd lately heard
She simply would not be his wife.
Full fast his tears fell on the sod,
His breast was torn by futile sighs;
Around his feet tie flowers nod,
Their beauty fails to lure his eyes.
And then a new awakened thought
Doth come to tighten his distress;
A womans mo" is often fraught
With other meaning, more or less.
With hopeful speed he doth retrace
His path TO seek the lovely maid
And read by something in her face
She did not mean the word she said.
She loves him and will tell him So
He rings, her father greets The swain;
"Eloped? Good Lord! With whom
With Joe?"
And so he never asked again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
A NEW TIME TABLE

when does this ferry run. upcler'
asked the would-be passenger.
"Dis ferry, marse," said the old man,
"she runs at quarter arter, half arter,
quarter to and at"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
A LIVING DEATH

Florida cannot be divided into two states
unless one is lake.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

James j. Hill, financier who has IDEAS
has taken hold of the issue OF st. Paul
city bonds which failed of market He
Will make it go. Mr.. Hil's plan is to take
the city's 4l4s, beginning with those is
sued for Fairgrounds, and put out against
the plan, not more than 500 worth Is to
be sold to any person, though in the long
run such limitation will not, be neces-
sary. The clerical work is to be done free
of charge. These certificates pay higher
interest than savings banks They will
be taken at par by the trust company
which handles them, so that they will
circulate locally as freely as currency.
The city will get its money for develop
ment and will benefit by an increased
public interest in economy and efficiency.
Japan has no Rockefeller or Carnegie
yet but is coming on The Asahl. pub
lished al Osaka gives a list of sol mil
lonaires in yen, or semi miliionaires in
dollars. OF "a who are worth more than
s., 100000 Toxic claims 81 and Osaka the
remaining three. OF the millionaires 154
live in Toxic, 10 of them being members
of the Mitsui family, and 81 In Osaka,
among them being the proprietors of the
newspaper Asahi, Messrs. Murayama and
Uyeno. Kobe has II millionaires one of
them a woman, Mrs. Suzuki Yone. Mean
does not find western ideals an unalloyed
blessing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
TAKES HIS STRAIGHT"

movement"
lips"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
RECKLESS RIDERS.

Full Oft a man as soon's he buys
A benzine-driven bike,
Appears to want to top the lies
OF Motorcycle Mike
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES

If you viii wager money, bo,
That that Is all he gets.
Cincinnati Enquirer
Upon this busy GARTH
Is-if the truth were spread abroad
Just getting all he's worth.
Los Angeles Express.
Man gets but little here below,
Fen then, avoiding strife,
He takes his weekly wad of dough
And hands 1t to his wife.
Youngstown Telegram
Man gets but little here below
And isn't long on deck
Just when he thinks he stands show
He gets it in the neck
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
MANS PORTION.

Man wants but little here below,
And you will win your bets
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala
postoffiee as second class matter unaer
act of Congress March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-28
From I.ippincott's.

\ ANY thousands of men-and of
N/I women, too-who lived near the |
great Mississippi in their early |
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-01-01
Notice Of Contest.

I nited States Land Office at Great Falls. Mon.
tans, December 3, 1879.
TO James j. Walls, Of Fort Benton, Montana,
You are hereby notified that
,EUk6E .. NICHOLS,
who gives rort Benton, Montana. a. his postofice
office his duly corroboratsd application to contest
and secure the cancellation of your desert land
entry No; gu, serial No. 043s. made April y.
e.ction :, tow nship % north, range 3 east,
Montana meridian, and as grounds for his con-
test he alleges that You have not complied with
hsva only made two annual proofs on said en-
try, ar" that 1t is impossible 20 irrigate said land
from any source. and that sa d land will anu has
nionuc.d = payi.g cop for three consecutive
years Without irrigs ion.
iou are, therefore, further notified that the
eaid allegations will he taken by this office as
entry will hr cancelled Hereunder without your
further right to be heard therein, either beto7a
this office or on appeal, If you fail TO file In this
Office within twenty days after the FOUkTH
publication OF this notice, as shown below, your
answer, under oalh, specifically meeting and re-
to- these allegations of contest, or if
you fail within that time TO f;e in this office due
proof that You have served a copy of your answer
on the said cont. staut either in person or by reg
Uttered mail. II this service is made by the de-
livery of a copy of your anpwer to the contestant
in person, proof Of -nch service must be either
the said contestants written acknowledgment of
his receipt of the copy, showing the dat. of its
IeCelpt, Ut tue dIitANll Oh Tue poreOn Dy WnOm
the delivery was made stating when ard where
the copy was delivered: If made by registered
mail, proof Of euch service must consist of the
affidavit of the person by whom the copy was
mailed stating when and the poetoflce 10 which
1t was mailed, and this affidavit must be accom-
panied by the rostmaster's receipt for The letter.
the postotice to which you desire future notices
to be sent to you.
JULIUS G. PETERS, Register.
Date of fret publication December II, 1912.
Data Of ppCOnd notification Ia an1,or ~ 1910
Date of third publication December %, 1872.
Date of fourth publication January 1, 1913.