The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-06-19

on Earth 10 him. He kisses her and
hangs on to her arm and can't dc
enough for her. And after she has
been home for two days, when you
see them on the street. he is walking
about four feet ahead Of her and act
Ing as II he would like to get rid Of
her.
One half OF the average mans life
consists OF owing money he can't paY
and the other half in having money
owed to him that he can't collect.
Poor old Father can be married for
10 years but Mother always wants him
to take walk when she wants to fit
a new corset on daughter.
A man will give his wife $40 to pay
$50 worth of bills. Then he will Dor.
row Sc of the $40 back and want I'd
know wwhat she does with all her
money.
After Il woman has been married ~
years she doesn't ask her husband
every five minutes II lie still loves her
She is willing 10 let well enough
alone. "a
Romance is as much u part of 4
woman as her sex. a faded. worn
cut mother who has had three children
in three years and whose married life
Is a colorless grind OF washing, scrub.
bling, cooking and nursing, likes TO get
the babies to sleep before the thinE
she married comes home soused and
erouchy. so she can get 10 read an
other chapter of the cheap novel
Wherein the handsome. manly hero
rescues the beautiful heroine and they
lived happily ever after.
You can always think Of something
YOU should have said after the time
for saying 1t has passed.
Solomon in all his glory was some
Bear Cat. But he never had nerve
enough to wear grey hat with a big
bow In the rear.-Enquirer.
Truth lies at the bottom of Wits.
ky glass.
II you keep your mouth closed
everybody will agree with you and
respect your opinion.
If woman can keep her temper and
her good looks she has no trouble
keeping her husband.
The latest hint says the hustle is
coming back into fashion. What are
they going to do? Sew an annex into
the rear of the hobble?
There is awful scarcity of roses
between the day woman marrles
and the day they lay her out.
The glory kiss" is nothing new. II
was the first one you got from your
sweetheart. And you tingled from
toe to scalp and the music of the
sphere rang In your ears while you
inhaled the perfume of the wonder.
ful girl before you. And you had u
vague idea OF now you went home,
but you knew that your feet did not
touch the ground.
The female garment designers met
to Toledo and decided OH tighter
skirts. 1t wont be long until mod.
est man will have 10 stay at home and
keep the blinds pulled down.
To man all men are alike and all
women different. To woman all NO.
men are alike and all men different.
Keep your troubles to yourself. II
you tell them TO another man he will
wait until you get through and
then he will make you look like Il
riker by telling you his,
Lots of men who wouldn't sell
themselves TO the Devil do not object
TO renting themselves out by the day.
When girl buys pair of new
shoes she always imagines the clerk
Is measuring her foot with IA yard.
stick.
The old.fashoncd girl who married
a poor young man and lived on love in
4 cottage now has a daughter who
marrics into a furnished room where
she can cook her curling irons on a
gas jet and do her laundry on the
window pane.
Tell IA man that there are 27O,lG9,-
325.iSl stars and he will believe you.
But il Il sign says Fresh Paint he has
10 make personal investigation.
The Mems Missouri Club Is In n bal
fix. There are no street car steps to
make the girls hoist and the weather
Is too chilly for the see.more skirts.
A New York woman says us men
dictate women's fashions and then
scold the women. Dictate nothing
AS far as us men are concerned We
don't care If the woman don't wear
anything at all. We should worry.