The Marshall republican., 1913-02-21
Press Clippings

49,
ambitious to die in any condition
a Kansas editor has this 70 "a
about the Parcel Post: There is 10
danger Of a man carrying around a
i1-pound package his vie gave him
to mail a week ago and thea having
TO Id to her about It.
Albany Ledger: A doctor has lie
clared that walking is a tiresome ex-
ercise. and not especially beneficial
However, we never knew a nan a.
have a puncture or burst a tire whii4
he was walking.
Little Louis. four years old, h1t
been sitting on the cola all morning.
when his mother said: "You ha,.
been a very good boy all morning. ]
there is anything YOU wish ! viii 49,,
it to you, Louis" Il wo4ld ilae Z
be a bad boy this afternoon. be &c.
piled.
Cincinnati Enquirer: The kirf
hearted old lady handed the beEyar
dime. My man, how did You ne
come so poor?" she asked. "Wha'
brought you to this terrible stage q
poyerty?" The parcel post. ma 'am.
replied the beggar.. you see, 7 uset
to be president OF an express ON
pany."
Fond Mother. tback In town
yes. Dorothea In engaged,-rcai
nice %feller. too. I've only one thin
sgin im-he's an Ostrich" You't
never mistrust though. by his looks
that he's a furriner; but he is.-b,
birth. lie was born in ostra." And
her confidant gasped Austria" and
breather again.
Ralph. the iive-year-old son o
James oppenheim. author OF The
Nine-Tenths" and THE Olympian.
was recently asked what work he WFf
going TO do when he was a man
90" he replied. I'm not going &C
work at ALL" well. what are vor
COINS TO do, Them" he was asked
"What?" he repeated, seriously. I'm.
Just going to write stories. like
daddy"
An old gentleman and his wife nj
tended church one evening last sum
mer and sat by an open window
The katydids were chirping outsid'
and attracted the lady's attention Ia
the exclusion OF the service. The old
gentleman was very fond OF music,
and after the choir had sung d
beautiful anthem he turned TO hi
wife and whispered, Wasn't thai
wonderful" "Yes." she replied. ''and
TO think they do II with their hint
legs"
Topeka State Journal: Mis'
Clara Evelyn McHugh, a teacher IL
one OF the Topeka schools. read nc &
recent teachers meeting from n col.
lection OF quaint examination a.
swers that she had been gatherin?
for some years. The gems OF Mis-
McHugh's collection were "A bliz
gard IL the inside OF a hen" "Th,
equator Is Il menagerie lion runnini
round the earth" Oxygen Is ,
thing that has eight sides" ''Th,
cuckoo never lays It's own eggs" -
mosquito IL n child OF black an6
white parents"
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A lad.
having more than the average por
ton OF avoirdupois mounted a Su
perlor avenue car the other night
Safely inside she grabbed a strap an,
stood on a sitting g~entleman's toe
Tor the trip home. Almost immedi
ately the sitting gentleman got NJ
bowed gracefully and motioned he
to his seat. you are very h.c,.
sir" dimpled the rolypoly lady, sub
siding. "Kind?" snorted the gentle
man who had risen. This ain
kindness-it's self Defense"
Exchange: THE homely hus
band stops at home. while the hand
some one ogles the chorus girls froi
a front row seat among the bald
heads" The speaker, Mayor Rock
we'll, OF Akron. was addressing
women's club ON marriage. He cor
tlnued; THAT was a wise washe
woman who, on being asked why sh
had married such an ugly mar
said: al prefer a homely husban
that stops at home and wrings m
clothes rather than a handsome on
! who stays away and wrings m
D heart"