The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-12
HUNOR or THE DIP

who painted Subbub's house?" HE
| told me the name of the concern. 1 think
he said it was done by Fitz and Startz."
boston Transcript.
| Eugene-"This book case is an inch out
| of plumb. We must have that fixed"
| Imogene-"Oh, dear. And I've heard those
! plumbers are so expensive. Judge.
Niece-"And at the last moment we call
ssaoi in consuming .T, physician for my
shared the blame, 1 uppose?''-Niece-
Yes, and the estate."-Ldfe.
Some people contend that dogs can
| reason of course, they can't. Don't
dog stick to man who has been good
| to him even when the man is down and
| out?"-Baltimore American.
Mr.. Shops is a rather insignificant
! looking man." well If you had been
withered by a wifely eye as much as Mr..
Birmingham Age-Herald.
| What is a political LEADER" WELL
| replied Senator Sorghum. sometimes he
! is very much like the orchestra leader;
the man who provides the gesticulation
and general excitement while somebody
else is doing the real work '-Washing-
ton Star.
Show girl bursting into managers
office)-'Quicki There's a fire Behind the
scenes, the gang is rushing about like
mad and screaming their heads Off Looks
ike panic What win we dor Man:
course, and let the audience think it IS
the opening chorus.'-Puck.
"Come now. John we've seen the ele-
plants and the monkeys and the birds;
let us go into the aquarium" But dear
Eliza" replied the obedient husband. II
can't swim a stroke!''-Yonkers States
man.
SDinkS-IOeS pir1
Wtnks-4es, but she's too insinuatins.
II. In what way?" Well, she won't agre9
but ring time Boston Post.
Guest-Look here. waiter! The por-
ton of chicken you served to me was
not one-thtrd the size of the portion you
just gave to that fat man over there.
I'm going to make a complaint. where's
party in the foreground)-That's him, sir.
-Tit-Bits-
Say, Bill. wot's a pedigree?'' Same
as hydrophoby, / guess" "Hydrophoby,
E nothini You You're b way off" We'll It's
Transcript.
The young man was something of
she was out. But he has a box of
candy with him" was the word that
reflected. NO" she finally said, ct isn't
worth it. Tell him I'm out"-Philadel-
p4ld 1eieSTdpn-
What are you worried about?" 81 am
not worried" answered Mr.. Meekton,
t'only puzzled. What / can't understand
is why a woman will march four miles
in a suffra gette parade and require a tax
icab to travel four blocks on a shopping
trip."-Washington Star.
Her Pap&-Is my daughter willing to
marry you? Her Suitor-Yes sir. Her
Papa-Is it election bet or is love
really blind?-The lub-Fellow.
What Might Have Been.-Editor-Have
you submitted these poems anywhere
else? Poet-No. sir. Editor-Then where
did you get the black eye?-London
Opinion.
PA, when people say that a man is
good provider what does it mean ut
means that they are trying to apologize
tor his bad habits. Detroit Free Press
Mr.. Buggins--I cost my umbrella today.
Mis- Buggins-Thas's Just like you, John
Henry Buggins. tJli you this nrrninG
TO tas one of the borrovsd ones.-Pl ill.,
dcifhia Record.
Correction.-"Ffne night" said Smith
ers, glancing at the heavens. mo" re-
piled the Boston girl, you mean infinite
-Harper's Bazaar.