davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Sized Her Up.

Doctor. Madam. your husband
must have absolute rest"
Mrs. Chat. well, doctor, he
won't listen to me"
Doctor. "A very good beginning,
madam. a very good beginning."-
London Tattler.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

In writing a sketch of Washington
a pupil ended her essay by saying:
washington married a famous
belle, Martha Curtis, and in due time
became the father of his country
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Snch- Mind Nag.

Client. The ease l wish you to
fight is this, My auto came into
collision with
Lawyer. Excuse me, but | never
argue dead Issues"
Client. Dead issues?"
Lawyer. Certainly; isn't it a
car-ease?"
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Out and In.

I'm out for a ride ;" the motorist
cried
As he hurried away In glee;
Ten miles from town his car broke
down
And I'm in for a walk,
sighed he.
Cyclists Calendar.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Burnt.

What a pity we have no artists
who al paint like the old masters"
said the sincere lover of pictures.
But" replied Mr.. Gumrox, who
had just acquired a spurious sigma
ture, "the great trouble is that We
have. "-Washington Star.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Can't BE Did.

Wife. "Phewl | really don't see
how you can stand sitting in such a
hot Office"
Hub. "One can not stand sitting
in any kind of an Office, my love-
Boston Transcript.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Got in Early.

John Milton got s25 for Paradise
Lost" said the seornful author.
We'll" replied the practical pub
Usher. ''he was lucky in getting the
work out when the market for that
sort of thing was comparatively
good Washington Star.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Chances Refter Now.

Edith. Have you given Jack his
final answer YETI"
Ethel. Not yet-but I've given
him my final No"
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Cross

Wife g a. M. And when did
you first notice the change in your
sick friends condition."
Hubby tabsent-mindedly). Right
after the fourth cocktail, m'deari"
Stanford Chaparal.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Imposed Upon.

Boggs, Gin saloon). Here comes
that fellow Unison again. He's go
ing to sponge on me for another
drink. l bet"
Noggs. why don't you give him
the cold shoulder
Boggs. 81 can't very well, lie
lent me another tenner yesterday.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Or Their Husbands.

Dick. Il warrant those suf-
fragettes who are breaking win
dows are homely girls"
Tom. VERY likely. If they
were pretty they'd be satisfied with
breaking hearts"
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Begging the Question.

The Star. Honestly, what do you
think of my acting in my new play?"
The Critic. Don't ask me.
You're younger and so much strong
er than ! am."-Brooklyn Life.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
The .UneXnecfed.

did you make a hit with your
speech at the banquet last night?'
Il guess o / forgot what l in
tended TO say. and said what / ought
not TO have said."-Detroit Free
Press.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
Robby's Exclamation.

Elsie. why does the clock start
all over again when it gets to 12?"
Bobby. "'Cause lbs an unlucky
number of course.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

you Honor" said the arrested
chauffeur, = tried to warn the man
but the horn would not work.
Then why did you no slaeken
speed rather than run him down."
A light seemed to dawn upon the
prisoner.
That's one on me. never
thought of that" Houston Post.
A s%colding wife is often only maxi
ing amends to her conscience for
having told the neighbors what a
wonder her husband is.-Washing-
ton Post.
Patient. Doctor, it hurts me to
breathe. In fact. the only trouble
now seems to be with my breath"
Physician. "All right. I'll give
you something that will soon stop
that. GOOD Housekeeping.
It's up to every married woman to
believe that her husband is the only
mar who has sense enough to un-
derstand her.-Chicago News.
rs our wife in?" asked the
friend of the druggist.
NO" replied the druggist. absent
mindedly, but ] can show you some
thing just as good Puck.
The court of appeals of Missouri
has decided that when a wife loses
her husbands services she has no
claim to those services. No wonder
~suffragetism exists out there.-New
York Evening Telegram.
Does your wife want a vote?"
"She wants two," replied Mr..
Meekton; mine and hers. Wash
ington Star.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11
UpIift.

Good morning. You're looking
prosperous. Did you get a raiser"
Yes. Bill raised me last night
when | had four aces"
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

AS a man grows older he is apt to
care more for comfort and less for
chivalry.-Atchison Globe.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

A Well known author tells of an
English spinster who said, as she
watched a great actress writing
about the floor as Cleopatra:
How different from the home life
of our late dear queeni''
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

L wish to complain, said the
bride haughtily. about that flour
you sold me. 1t was tough
Tough, ma'am?' asked the
grocer.
Eyes. tough. ! made a pie with it.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

In the hall of a Philharmonic So
eiety the following notice was post
ed.
The seats in this hall are for the
use of the ladies. Gentlemen are re-
quested to make use of them only
after the former are seated"
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

docs your wife want a voter
"She wants two" replied Mr..
Meekton; mine and hers. Wash
ington Star.
White Pine news weekly mining review. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1910-1920, 1913-05-11

It's up to every married m to
believe that her husband is the only
man who has sense enough to un-
derstand her.-Chicago News.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23

nj EW YORK.-Two hundred mem.
~ bers of the University club, La.
fayette avenue and South Oxford
street, were present at the reception
rendered the alumni Of Lafayette col
lege, Wisconsin university, University
OF Maine, and Hobart college. Presi-
dent Edward Ward McMahon, in a
brief address, extended a cordial well
come to the visiting alumni.
The entertainment provided was an
interesting lecture. illustrated by liv-
Ing specimens, delivered by Raymond
Lee Ditmars. curator Of reptiles and
assistant curator of the New York
geological park. Mr.. Ditmars ap-
preached his subject, which hap
pened to be Snakes and Lizards"
with all the ease and abandon of a
man signing an ordinary check. The
careless way in which he handled such
deadly snakes as the RATHER and the
water moccasin was enough to make
the cold chills run up and down ones
back.
He spoke of the reptiles as one
would speak of a friend, in terms of
warmest affection, and said that
snakes were greatly maligned and
that some Of the attributes accorded
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
SQUAL0R IN BABY FARMS
California County Health Officer Finds
Twenty Homes" Dealing In
Nameless Children.

Los Angeles, Cal-Twenty baby
farms" where profits are coined out
Of nameless little lives, have been
found operating just outside the city
limits of Los Angeles, by DR.. e. o.
Sawyer, county health officer, who has
demanded immediate action on the
part of the board of supervisors.
These institutions, said DR.. Sawyer,
are conducted for profit by persons
who have no interest in the children.
and were removed from the city to
escape municipal regulation. They
harbor mostly foundlings and the ba-
bies of persons who would rather hide
their parenthood.
Il found babies kept in the most
repulsive squalor," said DR.. Sawyer.
ITO make profits out of the small
sums paid as board some of the pro.
prietors Of baby homes kept the chill
dren in half starved and half clothed
condition. Insanitary conditions exist
In every case"
Each of the farms" harbors from
three to sixty babies DR.. Sawyer
said that county ordinance providing
strict regulations was necessary to
protect not only the children in the
homes, but also to protect the health
Of the community.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23

pages and sees how MANY t,,..
long-persecuted country hevs.s q
help from her Turkish oppresso. =
always in vain. knowing finn -, =
Jealousy and tension between - ! y
ers, the willy sultans pitted one a.. ~
the other. and in the meantims =.
they willed with tie Bulosr,.s
Macedonian Christians. Thel,
help came from this countrv &
Wheni in 1878, Independents.
a fashion. came. the first Erea. ~, w
set for itself by the new princ,,.s.
following the self-governine o,s..s
ton was the full and completa Nv {
ton of their compatriots sim 49,
Turkish power. In 1886. eastern ~ 8.
melia was incorporated into ths IS
garian principality, in direct o.,,.'
ton to the ruling of the Eurouas, o. y.
lomats. This union gave a greaiI, /.
creased working force, and wh,la -
improving steadily their own eo,z
tons, the people of larger Bulgarl. n
gan a carefully planned edueat,o,'.
scheme, of the most unselfsb ~
among their own people in Maeeac,''
This drain financially to an aIrs,7.
heavily-taxed nation has been i.
mendous one, but SO fully has ,bs I.
sponsibility been felt, not once 4.
there been any cessation Of the wors
True Patriotism.
With this one. all-controilInr de...
to free all the Balkan region fsom n.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
"Ho Hum" LATEST Man Runs Away From Work

he demanded that his wife perform
the task for him, but she refused.
She resolved to break his two years,
rest, so caused his arrest. Judge Sa-
bath after hearing the story ordered
Friler to sweep the street in front of
his home every afternoon.
Friler remembered somewhere In
his past studies that he had read
something about cruel and unusual
punishment" Going to his home from
the court room he dug up an old his
tory, which contained the constitution
of the United States.
Nothing doing" he muttered. "The
constitution says no Judge shall In
fict a cruel and unusual punishment,
and II that sentence don't come under
that head, then don't know any
thing"
He put on his hat and coat and dis
appeared. Shortly afterward his wife,
returning from the court room, found
there were no piles of street dirt in
front of the house, and that her ami
mated spouse was gone. She asked
the police of the Shakespeare avenue
police station to look for him. He
will be arrested on sight, given a ham,
mer, and seated by the pile of rocks
at the bridewell. His vacation will
then be ended.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
MADE WITH RHUBARB
SUGGESTION THAT WILL I'M.
PROVE PIES AND TARTs.
Use No Water In the Preparation Of
the PIant--cobbler Special Lunch
con Dish That Has Few
Superiors.

Rhubarb is one of the springs bless
ings. Its list Of health-giving possibil.
tiles is almost endless, and its advo-
Gates as the giver of beauty are num-
bered by scores.
Pies and tarts of rhubarb are old IA
vorites. There is a good deal of diff
Guilty experienced in making them be-
cause of the fact that rhubarb is gen.
orally so Juicy that it soaks the under
crust. To lessen the amount of Juice
do not use any water in the prepare
ton OF the rhubarb. Cut the stalks,
after they are washed, dried and skin
ned, in half-inch lengths, cover them
with sugar and put them In the crust
There can be two crusts, or the top
OF the pie can be barred with pastry.
When making rhubarb tarts prepare
the rhubarb with the crusts separate
ly. Bake crisp crusts in muffin rings.
Wash, dry and skin rhubarb stalks, cut
them into pieces and stew them slow
ly until perfectly tender with a very
little water Add sugar when they are
taken from the stove, while they are
still hot. Chill the rhubarb and at
the last minute put 1t into the crusts.
Rhubarb cobbler, made without an
under crust, of course, is a delicious
luncheon dish for the devotee of rhu-
barb. To make it prepare a batter Of
cupful of sour milk, half teaspoon
full Of soda dissolved in little cold
water added to the milk, tablespoon
ful OF butter and enough -four to make
medium batter. Put rhubarb, cut
In short lengths, in a pudding dish
and sugar it generously. Then pour
over 1t the batter. Bake 1. In a mod
crate oven. Serve it hot with boiled
custard or sugar and cream.
Rhubarb pudding, which is a IA
vorite with children, is made on the
order of apple brown betty. To make
1t cut the rhubarb in pieces, put a
layer Of it in pudding dish, cover 1t
with sugar and then put a layer of
bread and butter. Alternate layers of
fruit and bread until the dish is done.
Cover it and bake it half an hour, re-
move the cover and bake ten minutes
longer. Serve with hot sauce of any
desired flavor.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
Crusade Against Dogs Baked When Owners Cry

INDIANAPOLIS. IND.-Mayor Shank,
i who made known the other day
that he had signed a contract for a
vaudeville tour, proved his ability to
tour some" when he took a twenty
minute ride with city dog catchers
and superintended the capture of FIVE
dogs. He boarded one of the city dog
catchers' wagons and went into the
dog-catching game with Gusto. But it
did not last. His objection to the
dog-catching was not due to any par
ticular dislike for the excitement.
What got on his nerves was the spec
tacle of the child owners of the dogs,
who threw their arms around their
pets and begged that the unlicensed
outlaws be spared.
Mayor Shank took no active hand
in the proceedings further than to
superintend the job and hold the horse
from his high seat on the wagon. The
job was undertaken by the mayor per-
sonally, because he had boasted that
each wagon and its crew should catch
rs dogs a day. The mayors record
out-classed his prediction wonder
fully.
Those fellows are down there
drawing a salary of $25 a week." de-
clared the mayor. I'll bet they don't
catch that many dogs in a year. /
know that l can catch that many dogs
in one day and l am going to show
them how to do 'er"
The dog pound attaches, Lester z.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
Ten-Year-OId Wanderer Found When Hit by Car

CLEVELAND. O.-Ten-year-old Ethel
~ Tate, 1895 East One Hundred and
Fourteenth street. or "the disappear
ing kid" as she is known by the po-
lice. was hit by Cedar avenue car at
East One Hundred and Fifth street
the other morning when she was on
one Of her regular runaways.
Ethel invariably runs away once a
month. She doesn't go anywhere In
particular, but Just keeps on walk
ing until she gets tired and then she
lies down and sleeps, no matter where
she is. She told her mother she had
slept in Amber park the night before.
and consequently had contracted a
hard cold
Last September she was found sound
asleep in the salon OF the steamer City
OF Erie. Scarcely two weeks later she
was found in picture show in Akron
after everybody else had left the place.
In January, after a three days disap-
pearance. she was discovered In a
livery stable.
Il would tie ball and chain on her
IL thought 1t would do any good, but
! know 1t woul be useless" said Mrs.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
YOUTH WHO KILLED
FATHER IS FREED
coroner's Jury Exonerates Boy
Who Saved Sister.
WAS TROUBLED HOME
Hearing Parent Yell am XIII YOU"
Younsster Grabbed Rifle and Let
Fly-Vlctlm Not a Drinking Man;
Just Hot Tempered.

Chicago.-Charles Scheibler rushed
upon his fifteen-year-old daughter the
other day with a butcher knife be
cause the girl would not stop laughing
Scheibler's son, Peter, shot and killed
his father. Afterward Peter called a
policeman and gave himself up.
At the coroner's inquest, held sew
eral hours after the tragedy. the boy
was exonerated for the shooting.
Witnesses testified the boys father
continually scolded members OF the
family and found fault with every.
thing they did. frequently, it was
said, Mrs. Scheibler and the children
were forced to fee from their home
to escape his wrath.
The Scheibler home is at 5SO6 South
Fairfield avenue. II has been a trou-
bled household Of late. The father, a
house painter, has been idle. The
mother has been internationally ILL
she was in bed when the shooting &C.
CURED. Peter has had only a few odd
jobs. Fifteen-year-old Helma has been
the little mother doing the house
work and caring for nine-year-old Mar.
tina and four-year-old Marie. The
younger son, Louis. has been working
downtown.
Trouble started at breakfast. The
cakes that Helma made had not quite
the same quality as her mothers.
In rage Scheibler arose. No wit
ness remembers to have heard Just
what he shouted. All agree that he
snatched a butcher knife from the
table. The children ran. Martha and
Marie were near the outside door and
they went out. Helma ran instructive
ly to the pantry. Peter instinetively
ran after her to shield her. They
slammed the door and braced it.
Then heard him yell I'll kill you
III kill you'll said Peter. And some
how / seemed to know he meant 1t.
He was raving at the door, pounding
and showing; we couldn't hold it.
grabbed the rife and pointed It at him
through the crack as it was widening.
| thought it would bring him to his
senses. But it just made him wilder.
He rushed right at the barrel-and
shot"
That was the story. Helma said
the same thing. The other children
agreed on the facts OF the breakfast
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
|BUIGARIA'S|
J z: =, RAPID Ql
y plp0GpESs|

- INCE last October, when the
quick mobilization and success
N full advance of the Balkan
~ armies against their common
enemy, Turkey, astonished the
world, there has everywhere been sur
prise over the remarkable progress
made in the past few years by Bull
garia, the plucky leader and brains Of
the four-state federation. Even to
citizens of the United States, where
political development has been rapid,
the radical change In a single gen.
Grafton, from Turkish serfdom to prac-
tically one of the most progressive
and purely democratic governments
known to history. is bewildering. But
back of this free government is the
liberty-loving and justice-demanding
spirit of the great majority of the g.
100000 people, most unlooked-for in
its high ideals and broad principles,
after five centuries of the most cruel
and degrading subsection at the hands
of the rapacious Turk.
1t is one of the marvels of our time,
that in practically 80 years those who
formerly knew no form of freedom,
should plan and make possible, univer-
sal male suffrage, splendidly equipped
popular education, for both boys and
girls; one of the best penal systems
extant, with probation for first offend
ers. indeterminate sentence and par
ole provisions; and quite unusual so
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
Accepting invitations.

A young girl recently remarked thar
she accepted every invitation whicn
came to her, then picked those Ane
preferred, throwing over the Others
Neither courtesy nor - consideration
justifies such a course.
Naturally one has preferences.
There are certain things one wonla
rather do. A girl should make up NJ
mind what these things are, and &C
cept them before everything else, o1i
she should not play fast and loose
with invitations she does not want
Let her decline them definitely ne
moment they are presented to her. ana
she will find she makes fewer enemies,
while at the same time she pleases
herself.
One hears the impulsiye girl say,
"Oh, that is all very well, but wha'
can one do In this day when people
call you on the telephone and nre
invitations at you point blank ana
your mind is as destitute Of excuses
as an empty bird eager"
The best advice for this situation 4
to learn to think quickly and decline
definitely If 1t Is a thing one does no'
care to do
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
SHOULD BE WORTH TRYING
What Is Known as Turkish Salad Is
Composed of Vast Number
Of ingredients.

Two tablespoons gelatin. three
large cucumbers, one teaspoon onion
Juice. one cup boiling water, dash red
pepper, one-half teaspoon salt. few
sliced tomatoes. crisp lettuce leaves,
one tablespoon vinegar. red mayon-
naise and one cup cold water. Peel
and slice the cucumbers, place in a
saucepan with the cold water, bring
to a boiling point and cook slowly
until soft. Dissolve the gelatin with
the boiling water. add onion Juice.
vinegar. seasonings and cucumbers.
Strain and add few drops green col
oring pressed from boiled spinach
leaves; then pour into a wet ring
mold and chill thoroughly. When
stiff, remove from the mold, fill the
center with red mayonnaise and gar
nish with sliced cucumbers, tomatoes
and lettuce leaves. The red mayon-
naise is made by cooking a can OF
tomatoes; strain and cook the Juice
again until 1t is reduced to two table
spoons. When cold. add to the regu-
lar mayonnaise until the desired tint
is obtained,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23

Jones and Robert A. Walters, do not
agree with the mayor. Five dogs in
20 minutes is no record, according to
them. They have worked faster than
that on dark day, they say. The rec
ord for the day is AZ dogs.
Walters was bitten on the hand by
a poodle during the Shank crusade"
but suffered no i'll results from his ex-
perience except the joking which the
mayor, who had ensconced himself on
the wagon seat and taken no active
hand in the proceedings, was inclined
to give him. The dog landed safely
inside the wagon, however.
Gosh, that's a rotten game" de-
clared the mayor after his return from
the ride. Il would rather catch a
'speeder' any old day in the week than
hunt poor little dogs. Then, when the
little children ran out and hung on to
the dirty little ours, why / just want
ed to let them alpne. The grief of
those poor little DIS just made me
want to quit. bid the driver to
hustle me to the ice station"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23
"00H, LA, LA, La" SMACK!
Judge Gives Prisoner ST and Freedom
and Receives Resembling Kiss
From Happy PeddIer.

Aurora. Ill.-Another blow at the
dignity Of the bench was dealt the 9TH
er day.
1t was struck when an Aurora JUS
tice of the peace. tempering justice
with mercy, was kissed in open court
by a man he had dismissed. The re-
sounding smack upon the Justices
cheek was delivered before anyone
could interfere and after that every.
one was too startled to do so.
Frank de Cook, arrested for ned
ding without license. was the man
who introduced the European method
of expressing gratitude into an Amer.
lean court. He had told Police Magis-
trate Thomas Barlow such an affect
ing hard luck story that the Justice
not only dismissed the charges against
him. but called him to the bench and
gave him one dollar.
Then came the kiss.
The justice refused to say whether
he considered it in the light of
bride.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-05-23

Elizabeth Tate. the girls mother
This year we sent her to the UrsuIine
convent hoping we could break her Of
running away. but she got away from
there.
Il am unable to account for EthePs
mania to run away. Otherwise she is
a very good girl. and at school Ia
considered exceptionally bright 1
think, however. that the girl is 30
full of life she can't bear to be shut
up at school and at home for any
length Of time. Her father and
have both travelled around nearly all
our lives, and maybe the girls rum
ming away is merely the Unborn In
stinct to roam expressing itself"