davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
FUNNY MAN AT PICNIC PARTY
Wooden Horse Can Jump as High as
ElffeI Tower, He Says In Spin
ming Latest Yarn.

Being funny man, he was at 1t
again. Seated on the grass in the
midst Of the picnic party, he was
spinning the latest yarns.
Il say" he remarked to those as
sembled, II bet you can't answer this
riddle"
Well, what Is it?" asked a chorus
of voices.
Can you name an animal that has
eyes and canont see, legs and cannot
walk, but can jump as high as the
Eiffel tower?"
All racked their brains and there
was deep silence for a moment.
Il don't know" remarked some one.
Il give it up"
The rest of the party also signified
Inability to solve the riddle.
"The answer" said the funny man,
lis a wooden horse. 1t has eyes and
cannot see and legs and cannot walk"
"Yes, but how does 1t jump as high
as the Eiffel tower?" came the tri-
umphant shout.
"The Eiffel tower" said the funny
man as he made preparations for hur-
ried departure, cant jump at all!"-
Tit-Bits.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
C0sT or BUILDING CREAMERY
One Must First Figure on Expense and
Then on Equipment--Pays
to Build Well.
(By G. A. GILBERT, Colorado Agrioul-
tural College)

(By G. A. GILBERT, Colorado Agrioul-
tural College)
Creamery builders must figure the
cost, first, of the building, second, OF
the equipment A suitable and con-
venient building will contain q main
work room, store room, refrigerator,
engine and boiler room, coal room and
an office. Such medium sized cream
cry would measure 28x48 feet. In
some sections labor and material are
much cheaper than in others and the
cost varies accordingly. However, we
can place the limit of cost of such a
construction between one thousand
and fifteen hundred dollars.
Where only gathered cream is re.
ceived the equipment required Is less
than where whole milk Is received. In
the first instance, of the gathered
cream plant, the following would be
necessary: 15 H. P. boiler; 10 H. P.
engine; well and pump; weigh can
and scales; Babcock testing equip
ment complete; combiner churn, capa.
city 800 lbs. butter; buttermilk vat;
cream ripener; starter can; wash sink.
Besides this there will be shafting,
pulleys, piping, betting. etc. BY max
Ing two churnings day in the rush
season, 1,200 pounds Of butter could be
manufactured per day in plant OF
this size. The cost of equipment would
approximately be $1,000.
The total cost of creamery with
out artificial refrigeration will vary
from $4,000 to $4,000. In the long run
1t pays to build well and to use first
GLASS equipment In a creamery, and
this is the basis of the foregoing fig
ares. In many cases on record cream
cries started by promoters of repre-
sentatives of construction companies
have cost exhorbitant prices and out
Of all proportion to the business they
are able to do.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
NURsERYMEN WILL ATTEND
Annual Rose Show in Portland to
Be Great Event.

Portland, Or.-The National Nur-
serymen's association of America
will hold its annual convention in
Portland next June and large major
ity of the 5000 delegates will come to
Portland in time to take in the Rose
show and Rose festival. The Rose
festival week comes June 9 to IA,
and the floral exhibit will be one of
the greatest drawing cards for the first
three days of the celebration. The
National Nurserymen's association is
the most important floral organization
in the United States and in the mem
bership and among the delegates who
will be here will be the foremost pro-
fessional rosarians in the country.
Special attention will be given to
their entertainment while here and
the judging in the Rose show compe-
titions will probably be done by some
Of these experts.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
HUSBAND
TIRED OF SEEING
her SUFFER
Procured Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound,
which made His Wife
a Well Woman.

Middletown, Pa. .--"I had headache,
backache and such awful bearing down
pains that I could not be on my feet at
times and ] had organic inflammation 80
badly that was not able to do my work.
/ could not get good meal for my hus-
band and one child. My neighbors said
they thought my suffering was terrible.
"My husband got tired Of seeing mo
suffer and one night went to the drug
store and got me bottle Of Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
told me / must take it. I can't tell you
all I suffered and can't tell you all that
your medicine has done for me. / was
greatly benefited from the first and it
has made me we'll woman. I can do
all my housework and even helped some
Of my friends as well. / think it is q
wonderful help to all suffering women.
/ have got several to take it after see-
ing what it has done for me. -Mrs.
EMMA EsPENsHADE, PIG East Main St.,
Middletown, Pa.
Ihe Pinkhamrecord is proud and hon.
orable one. 1t is record of constant
victory over the obstinate ills Of woman
fills that deal out despair. It Is an es-
tablished fact that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has restored
health to thousands of such suffering
women. Why don't you try it II you
need such n medicine3
Ii you want special advice write to
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (cOnfl.
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by O
woman and held in strict confidence
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
ONLY ONE "BROMO olININE"

That Is LAXATIVE BRoMo QUININE. Look
for the signature of II. w. GROVE. Cures Cold
In One Day. Cures Grip in Two Days. 25c.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
BEST PLACE TO KEEP FRUIT
Space Between Beams Provides Dry
Spot the Most Fitted for Ito
Proper Preservation.

Where persons have house with
eight or ten-inch beams on which the
floor is laid in the first story, the
spaces between the beams make an ex.
cellent place to keep canned fruit in
the cellar.
Boards can be nailed firmly to the
underside OF the beams, forming
shelves on which the fruit can be set.
Wide boards are best.
The air is dryer In this point In
the cellar than at any other place, and
there is freer circulation, too, keep
ing the fruit in a more even tempera-
ture and better atmosphere than is
possible In fruit cupboard or on
shelves built along the side walls.
In erecting such shelves care should
be taken to secure the boards well
with nails. A good plan is to saw the
boards to fit a certain place, allow
ing the ends to be Just even with the
sides of the beams Then a small
board can be nailed firmly on the end
of the shelf and, when in place. nail
ed to the outside OF the beams.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
ONE PRACTICE is WASTEFUL
BY Burning Corn Stalks Farmer Is De.
stroylng His Land-Much Benefit
In Flowing Under.
(By B. p. LARA1

1t always makes me feel sad to see
the smoke rising from the burning
corn stalks in the field, because the
farmer is burning up his land and
doesn't know 1t. How can we expect
to burn up stock which the soil pro-
duces and put nothing back in the
way Of humus and then hope to keep
our soil in good condition? Maybe
I'm wrong when I say that farmers do
not know what they're doing, for
doubtless some of them do know that
1t is a bad practice, but burning stalks
is easier than discing or cutting them
up and they are a nuisance to plow
under. Some farmers say there is no
benefit In plowing under stalks, but
cannot figure 1t out that way because
] do not see how we can 60 on rob-
bing our soil and keep up the fertility.
1t costs very little to keep a sheep
and a flock Of 80 sheep is worth
money
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Spinning Wheel Puzzle.

within this square so as to inclose
each of the wheels within separate
boundaries?
This diagram shows that the seven
wheels, which spin so merrily when
the paper is rotated in the hand, can
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
When Soils Cease TO Produoa.

The trouble with soils when they
cease to produce as they did when
new is not that the elements of plant
food are actually exhausted from the
soil. but the necessary forces for the
liberation are exhausted. One of
these forces is bacteria. 1t is esti-
mated that in the common soil there
are 150,000,0OO bacteria to the ounce.
These bacteria must have for their
food. humus, then they will liberate
food for the growth of plants. To be
good farmer one needs to grow le-
gumes and other cover crop plants
to turn under for humus, and to en-
courage these beneficial bacteria to
perform their functions In the soil.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
aobbIe knew.

Bobhie and Little Willie had been
given orders by mother not to so
swimming alone. Once in while.
however, they INDUCED in their Sc.
cret pleasure without telling their
fond mother,
One day they were returning from
a swim and both had entirely forgot
ten about the necessary excuse. Lit.
tie Willie bravely entered the house,
but Bobbie prudently turned the cor
ner and waited outside on the cellar
door.
The first question mother put to
little While took the little one un-
aware. Where have you been, Will
liegr asked mother sternly. Willie
hesitated, looked at the door longingly
and finally replied. "wait TIL so and
ask Bob"--Nationa Monthly.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
SOME QUEER TABLE MANNERS
In Ancient Times People Were Tcld
Not to Pick Their Teeth With
Knife or Fork.

Until the middle of the seventeenth
century" writes Rose M. Bradley in
the English Housewife, forks were a
luxury, treated rather as toys, elegant,
with jeweled handles, wherewith the
ladies might pick daintily at their
sweetmeats." Before the carving fork
was introduced paper covers were
placed over those portions of the meat
which had to be grasped with the left
hand. The paper frills sometimes
seen nowadays on outlet bones are
said by the author to be survival OF
the old custom. After smarting under
foreign criticism on their table man
ners, Englishmen turned to French
RULES of Civility," and others were
compiled in English.
Readers were warned mot to wipe
knife or fork on bread or the cloth,
but on napkins" They were also re-
quested mot to pick their teeth at
table with knife or fork" Lady
Lady Rich's Closet of Rareties," pub
lished in 1868, begs each gentlewoman
to observe to keep her body straight
and lean not by any means with her
elbow, nor by ravenous gesture dis
cover voracious appetite"
Nor must she talk with her mouth
full of meat nor Smack like a pig,
not eat spoon meat so hot that the
tears stand in her eyes. ut ia very
uncomely." the author adds, "to drink
80 large draft that your breath is
almost gone and you are forced to re-
cover yourself. Throwing down your
liquor as into a funnel is an action
litter for juggler than gentlewo-
man"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
puttlnu Il DeIlcateIy.

/! He was a stage aspirant. and had
contrived somehow to gain an intro
duction to a well known manager,
who agreed to fix date for trial
This duly came off, and expectantly
the aspirant awaited the verdict
"What do you think of it2" he asked
after a deep silence. WELL" the man
ager replied slowly, "all can say ia
that II ever you are put In prison for
acting 1t will be grave miscarriage
of Justice"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25

To live content with small means,
o seek elegance rather than luxury,
ind refinement rather than fashion;
% be worthy, not respectable, and
wealthy. not rich; to study hard, think
quickly, talk gently, act frankly; to
listen to stars and birds, to babes and
songs, with open heart; to bear all
,heerfully, do all bravely, await oc-
,asions, hurry never-in word, to
ct the spiritual, unbidden and uncon-
,cious grow up through the common
his IL to be my symphony.-Chan.
ling.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
sand Cure for Fatigue.

One OF the most efiloaeious cures
for fatigue from overwork consists II
walking barefoot In sand, The nerves
of the sole and heel are slightly irrt
tated by coming In contact with the
grains and accelerate the circulation
of the blood In all parts OF the body.
The effect produced Ia highly invig-
Grating. Besides this. the monotony
Of an ample extent of yellow sand ex.
ercises q soporific effect on the brain
which induces sleep.-Harpers Week
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
FertlIlzino Apple Arees.

A Maine farmer orchardist had sew
eral apple trees along the stone wall
The trees were not considered pf
much value until the owner plowed
the field for crop, fertilizing II
heavily and giving it liberal cultiva.
tion. The trees got their share of the
benefit and produced apples least year
worth $2S5. Another old neglected
Baldwin tree was plowed and fertt
lized, and 1t resopnded with crop OF
apples that sold for more than all the
corn raised on the acre of ground
where the trees stood.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Poetry and Music.

II had to live my life again l would
have made rule to read some poetry
and listen to some music at least once
svery week; for perhaps the parts of
my brain now atrophied would thus
have been kept active through use.
The loss OF these tastes is loss Of
happiness, and may possibly be inju-
rious to the intellect. and more prob
ably to the moral character. by en-
.eebllng the emotional part of our Ra-
sure.---Charles Darwin.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
PUTNAM FADELEsS DYES

One loc package colors silk cotton euualy
we VA buS 9 Quincy nSi nee
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Making Stables Comfortable.

Stop the cracks and chinks In the
stables. The horses and cows win not
get cold outside If 1t isn't raining,
but in the stable, with the wind blow
ing in through some little hole. they
will actually suffer. Get in a warm
room and let the cold air from out
side reach you through Just one little
opening, If you don't believe 1t.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
FattsnInu Market Fowls.

To fatten poultry for market. re
move them from the yards and place
without overcrowding, In coop which
should be provided with canvas GOV
or to draw down and keep the In
mates In darkness. Do not feed fol
about six hours after placing In the
coop, and then feed all they win eat
heed three times day. and keeI
fresh water and basin of grain al
ways before them.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Direct Hint.

They had been talking as they walk
ed. She had remarked pathetically:
"Oh, 1t must be terrible to man to
be rejected by a woman!" Indeed 1t
must" was his response. Then, after
a while, with sympathetic ingenious
ness, she exclaimed: ut doesn't seem
that / could ever have the heart to do
It." And there came silence be-
tween them as he thought 1t over.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
NECESSARY FOR TOOL SHOP
One Essential Is Water and In Re-
ceptacle Large Enough for All
Needs-Tub ls Best.

Wherever the farmer has his own
blacksmith shop, it is almost neces-
-sary to have water handy, and have it
In a vessel large enough for the needs
of the shop The half barrel makes
very good vessel for this purpose
The half of common coal oil barrel
will make very good tub. The
notches, shown in the illustration,
form good supports for the wagon
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Tho Wrono Burns.

AT the town of Ayr, two miles out
Of Glasgow, stands the cottage built
by William Burns, In which his son
Robert was born. A Californian, who
was in Scotland recently, was asked
IL he would like to see the cottage Of
William Burns. Sure, I'll co." re
sponded the American, "but I'm
blessed IL SEQ how he finds time tc
live there very much"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Rran Az a Food.

Bran is one Of the best foods the
laying stock can have. Being rich In
protein It helps the hens to digest the
other foods. 1t is also one Of the
best preventatives against diarrhea.
Always keep hopper full hanging in
the house or run, so that the birds
can help themselves as required. Bran
Is equally good for the young stock.
as 1t is one Of the best bone-forming
materials obtainable. 1t Is wonder
full how quick the chicks take to 1t.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
MeddIlna staae pIrectors.

In a recent lawsuit regarding the
ownership of a play a stage director
testified that in thirty-two years
theatrical experience he had never
heard of q play being produced aa
originally written. "The chief duty
Of stage director" he said, "is med.
ding with manuscripts l have even
heard of stage directors who tried to
Improve on Shakespeare by revamp'
Ing his works"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Demand for Good Butter.

Good butter nearly always COM
mands fair price. The market is al
ways crowded with poor butter, but
butter with flavor, color and texture
generally finds a buyer at fair price.
This shows the Importance of making
butter that there is a demand for.
Good butter cost little, IL any. more
than the poor stuff on the market;
the principal difference is that those
who sell good butter know how to
make ii.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25

The Oldest prescription in the world
is In the Metropolitan Museum Of Art.
1t is on piece of stone SKA inches in
size and was probably written $500
years ago in Egypt, The prescription
takes up both faces Of the stone and
Is written in the old cursive charac-
ters, the compound being a remedy
that was used for a fumigatlon.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Sickness Among Fowls.

The causes for sickness among
fowls can be treaced to lice, filth. no
grit, over-fat, sour food, leaky roofs,
lack of exercise, crowded quarters,
cracks In the wall, exposure to hot
suns, cold houses in winter. hot hous.
es in summer, irregularity In feeding;
damp houses and runs, nor enough
bulky food, impure drinking water,
poorly ventilated houses, exposure to
bad weather, and too much heating
food in summer.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
His Intentions.

Young man." said Major Black
brow, with lowering glance at Chol-
lie. II happened to see you last night
with your arm about my daughters
waist. May inquire your intentions,
sirf" "Why, sure, major" replied the
blooming Chollie. II intend to put
It there every chance l get."-Har-
Der's Weekly.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
METAL BOTTLE TOP REMOVER
Ordinary Table Fork VIII Perform
Operation With Neatness and Dis
patch-knIfe Also Used.

Everybody is familiar with the lit
tie metal tops used on bottles. But
the general opinion is that top can
not be removed without the aid Of a
specially designed opener. A Phila.
delphia man was recently confronted
with the problem of removing one of
these tops without the official instru-
ment. This is the way he did it: He
took an ordinary table fork and
placed one of the outside tines be-
meath the edge of the cap. He then
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Little Brother Speaks.

Florence. who was an ardent admir-
er of her own vocal qualities, had
been selected to sing solo at a
church entertainment
The following morning at the break
fast table she remarked to her young
er brother;
We'll. never thought my voice
would fill that large hall"
Neither did l." answered the broth
or unfeelingly, Il thought 1t would
smpty it."--Lippincott's.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Enr skin nlsordsr.

The following powder given each
day Ia said to be good for skin dis
order In horses: Finely powdered
iodine OF potash, ( ounces; granu-
lated sugar and common salt, Of each
/ pound. Mix well together and d.
vide into thirty-two powders. Feed
no corn. but let the grain feed be
oats and wheat bran. Use tincture OF
Iodine on the humps every second
day until the skin becomes q little
tendaR
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
shnelnn the cnIt-

The first shoeing of colt is tha
most important, not only in the fit Of
the shoes. but also in seeing that the
colt is not badly scared by the forge.
the unusual handling and new sounds
Horses mean to shoe are generally
the result of improper handling at
early shoeings.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Love AZ Form Of ReIIaIon.

Love at It's highest point--love sub
lime. unique. invincible--leads us
straight to the brink OF the great
abyss, for It speaks to US directly OF
the infinite and Of eternity, II is emf
nently religious; 1t may even become
Feligion.~-Amiei.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25

81 can't understand how you have
the presumption to think l would
permit my daughter to become your
wife," at does seem rather surpris
ing. suppose; but cheer up
You're not half so badly upset as
was when she suggested 1t to me-"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
LelsurelY.

"The hired man fell off the fence
down In the meadow lot just now!"
''Had he hit the ground when you
left ft?"--Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Water Tub for shop.

wheels when cooling the set tires.
The notches will also be found handy
or other purposes about the tub, such
IS keeping tongs, lays, ETC.. from slip
ling to the bottom of the tub when
set upright to cool.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Beads Like Amber.

Beads which look rather like cloud
cd amber, but which have the quality
Of wood. are picked from the Chinese
jinko fern; they are pierced and
strung for necklaces or long chains:
they are said to obtain a natural pol
lsh like ivory with little wear, says
New York Times writer. They are
fairly light in weight and cost 80
much per bead, SO that the string n
priced according to length.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Good Word for cheese.

! The popular idea that cheese is not
easily digestlble Is a deluslon. We
may, therefore, pass the cheese with
out passing 1t up.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Awake.

"That man talks great deal, but
you must admit that he's wide awake.
"Well,' replied Farmer Corntossel, re-
flectively, you couldn't expect man
to fall asleep during one of his own
anaechnan
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Y3Y1IH5HaGEIEa pisaAgns a9s Exs
SAVING Of Men.

Men are led away from threatening
destruction; hand is put into theirs
which leads them forth gently towards
a calm and bright land, SO that they
look no more backward, and the hand
may be a little child's.-George Eliot
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Not Many.

Women are living longer than they
did generation ago." says q stats
teal authority. Yes, but will they
own up to being any older?-Ex
change.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Reformation.

Let him go abroad to distant coun
try; let him go to some place where
he is not known. Don't let him 60
to the devil. where he is known
DR.. Samuel Johnson.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-25
Eeedlna brood Saws.

A high protein ration increases the
birth rate Of the young and faster
gains are made after birth than where
sows remain on = ration loU II PRO
teir