davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26

actually could get excited over flying
trip In the year 1912. or thereabouts." 4"
The group grunted skeptically.
What was there to get excited
about?" asked young captain.
"The danger Of It," said the captain.
THE danger?"
AYE. 'Tis hard to believe nova
days, but then there really was dan
ger in the prosaic art Of sailing
through the air. Imagine the circum-
stances IL you can. II every time you
stepped aboard your boats and started
away from earth you didn't know
whether you'd land on your feet or on
your head, wouldn't you be more inter
ested in your business than you are?
We'll, that was the way 1t was in
those old. forgotten days of yore.
Let's try says the adventurous man,
and he went to work and built the
queerest craft you ever heard Of
there are some of them in the antique
section of the Aeronautical museum at
Paris now-of cloth and wood. imitat-
ing the wings of the bird-and up he
goes. And down he comes. I told
him he couldn't do it, said the skep-
tics after they're coming home from
the funeral. It's impossible
But after awhile another man got
to thinking about it. Maybe 1t can
be done after ALL says he; and then
he goes to work and built another ma
chine. And up he went, and down he
came, and everybody sent flowers and
said: Darn fool 1t was great day
for the florists. They passed resolu-
tions encouraging the progress Of avi-
alton. They loved the game.
We'll, after awhile more people be-
gan to try to satisfy their curiosity
about the air. and there was more
business for the florists; but after a
| time somebody made a machine that
gave man about half chance to
come down right side up after an
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
"oh, Don't Know" Answered Mrs
Bergner.

man told us he found it. We got the
dog back"
How do you know it was your dog?"
asked Judge Cabell.
"Oh, l know" answered Mrs. Berg.
ner. Our cat at home is afraid of all
dogs and is always fighting them.
Well. when Puppy came home the cat
purred and actually went up and
kissed Puppy. The cat knew it was
Puppy"
Then as additional evidence Mrs.
Bergner said:
kiss me, Puppy"
Puppy did.
Then Mrs. Bergners neighbors took
the witness stand and said they were
sure that the dog belonged to Mrs.
Bergner.
Mr.. Toners case was less affection.
ate and more scientific. He called to
the stand DR.. Bakelaar and his as
sistant. Dr. Henry Cempfner Both
were certain that the dog in court was
not the dog on which they had oper.
ated. Also Joseph Walkland of New.
ARK, N. j.. took the stand and testi.
fed that he had sold the dog to Mr..
Toner.
Besides" Mr. Walkland added. "the
dog before you is two years old. Mr.,
Bergner's dog was only a year old"
Undismayed. Mr.. Bergner brought
forth an expert, who testified that the
dog in the room was not two years old.
After the case was dismissed Mrs
Toner met Mrs. Bergner outside the
court room.
You stole my dogl" shouted Mrs.
Toner
Mrs Bergner tainted.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
FavorIte Fiction.

The Science of Palmistry."
"It VIII Be the Least Bit Out Of My
Way, l Assure You"
THE Bed Was Very Comfortable.
Mrs. Irons; Slept Like Top"
Reformed Spelling"
Your Esteemed Favor of Yester-
day"
81 Never Felt Better in My Life"
why, Father, / Don't Know One
Card from Another!"
"If Thought 1t Was Doing Me the
Least Harm I'd Quit 1t in Minute"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26

prizes and had got the aviators to-
gether. the promoters would hire a
field a mile long by half a mile wide
and build grand stand around 1t that
would hold million people, more or
less. Did they pay people to come and
sit for hours watching few ma
chimes in the air? They did not. The
people paid for the privilege
''The first day never brought out
the biggest crowds. People didn't
know whether anything worth seeing
would happen But suppose one of
the boys took tumble. Or, better, II
half dozen Of them fell. Next day
the police would have to fight for
their lives to keep the falling-feld
clear. That's what they called the
space where the fiers landed-some-
times.
''All the gentle and refined people OF
the day who had the price would be
out there waiting for things to hap
pen. The ladies would be there by
thousands. 1t was before they could
vote. and they had to find excitement
some way. I hope there aren't any
of those frightful accidents today one
lady would say to her friend. so dc
L. says the other. oh, look! There's
one of them falling now. Here, you
don't get in my way; want to see
too
"'Was your meet success?' says a
man to a promoter Of the day.
Seven smash-ups,' was the answer.
We turned them away
Sport? Why, lads. after a success.
full flying meet the field hospitals put
out the Standing Room Only sign.
Those were the happy days-for for
lists and doctors.
You may ask why the promoters
ever were able to find men willing to
indulge in the sport of flying in those
days before Durang overthrow the law
Of gravitation and made air-sailing
safer than the crude, dangerous travel
on land or water. Well, lads. can
best explain that by little incident
in my own experience. ] had young
friend who became an aviator. He
was a bright young lad. and everybody
said he had brilliant career before
HIM BY brilliant career in those days
people meant to have reporters sit
ting on your doorstep waiting for you
to get up in the morning, and hiding
In the bathroom when you went to
bed at night. If this happened to you
everybody said you were famous, and
wives asked their husbands why they
couldn't go and do likewise. This
young friend of mine-Jim, by name
saw that the quickest and surest way
to become famous was to go up In the
air. He did. He went higher and
faster than anybody had gone before,
and the papers printed his pictures all
over the front page; and he came
down farther and harder than any
man was meant to do and live to tell
the tale.
Have you any last words to say.
Jim? said, bending over his hospital
cot
Then Jim showed himself a true
hero Of that age. and his words ex-.
planned why men risked their neck ID
the sport Of aviation: Don't mind
me- says Jim; but see that the Sun
day papers get a picture of the
wrecked machine"
did all the inventors take chances
by flying their own machines?" asked
one of the audience.
mo-" replied Captain MacManus.
The Wright brothers didn't; they
knew too much about the game"
Didn't you ever make any flights
yourself, captain?" asked someone. 4
Captain MacManus shook his head
and winked.
"Oh. no." said he. That's why I'm
still here"
Copyright, by w. G. Chapman)
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
He Was Having II.

Stubb-That's a witty Britisher.
While he was sitting on the park
bench some mischievous boys filled it
with wax and his coat tails adhered as
If they had been cemented.
Penn-Great joke! What did he
say when he arose?
Stubb-Why. that well-known Brit
ish expression: I'm having a ripping
time"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Clean Fake.

ITS almost impossible to believe
some of the things you read in the
newspapers nowadays"
What have you run across now?"
"This half-column article about a
city-bred girl yanking off her petit
coat and stopping a cannon ball ex-
press from dashing into an open
switch"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Go Ahead, Jimmy.

And remember, Johnny Binks.-
said the teacher. who was endeavor-
ing to drive a moral precept into
Johnny's head. there is always plen-
ty of room at the top"
II guess you got that little wrong.
teacher" said Johnny, whose father
is street-car conductor. "'Plenty of
room up 'front.' is the way my pa says
it."
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
No.

1T seems strange to think that one
little word from you will make me
happy for life."
Yes. But there's another little
word the saying of which will keep
me from being miserable for life. l
am just selfish enough to say that
one"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Got Mixed.

What sort of a proposal do you
suppose that business admirer of hers
made Gladys?"
What was it,"
81 suppose he was negotiating for
some real estate at the same time, for
he asked her to give him the refusal
of her hand"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
She Didn't Understand.

See here" said his wife; 81 hear
you acted scandalous on that trip with
those Knights of Sparta"
me? How's that?"
Mr. Wombat says you posed as
the Isaak Walton of the party. What
do you mean by going around under
an assumed name?"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Eaxors Newspapera.

Springfield. Mo. = Declaring that
newspapers and the public schools"
are the universities of the world"
Prof John H. Lynch subscribed for
Sc papers for school text books.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Matchess.

And what became of that girl who
was such matchless beauty In our
set when went away?"
She still is"
What. after all these years?"
Not so much of a beauty, but still
matchless. She's an old maid
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
His Solution.

Mrs vansook tat the children's par
ty)-I declare. little girls and boys of
twelve stay up half the night. nova
days!
Mr.. Newlyblest (absently)-I sup
pose they acquire the habit while they
are babies.-Puck.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
A Gentle Knock.

That girl has pretty hair" remark
ed the young man.
Yes" said the damsel he was with.
and she has some at home that is
even prettier."-Louisville Courier.
Journal. ~
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
A PrInceIy Gift.

There are not many great philan-
thropists.?
81 heard of one the other day"
What did he do?"
He gave away pass to the worlds
series.'
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
4 BIooer Contract.

so you think you can support my
daughter?''
II think So"
And can you support her French
maid. her two poodles and heAE
monkey"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-26
Usual Distinction.

Young Wife-That pudding have
just made for you is poem.
Hubby-And I suppose I'm to be the
waste-basket = Pennsylvania Punch
Bowl
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
STARVATION is
CAUSE OF DEATH
Edward Dewycke, Belgian Who
Was Found in Lonely Hut,
Succumbs at Hospital.

After a critical illness due to the
pangs of starvation, Edward Dewycke.
tie Belgian hermit, who was found
March 16 in a lonely shanty boat near
the oilcloth works by hunters who
happened that way, died Saturday
evening at midnight at St. Anthony's
hospital. The deceased was about so
years OF age. He leaves a brother, FL
ward Dewycke, AT Kewanee, who has
been apprised of the death and from
v hom information relative to the dis
position of the remains is awaited.
Dewycke's death was unusually sad
He had lived the life of a recluse for
a long time. Making his abode in
dilapidated shanty boat, his callers
we're naturally few. Something over
a eek ago hunters who were passing
the lonely hut were impelled by some
strange influence to enter the shack.
A scene Of squalor and filth which de-
fies description greeted their eyes. The
hermit, for such he was, had fa:tSn
into a stupor and physicians who ex-
arined him were of the opinion that
he had not tasted food for a week.
He was delirious when found.
He was taken to St. Anthony's hos
pital. There he was shown eveTt
care but the ravages of disease had
weakened his constitution to such an
extent that there was no hope from
the first that his life could be saved.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
CENTRAL CHURCH
MEETINGS CLOSE
Rev. j. G. Redding Will Deliver
His Famous Lecture Tomor-
row Evening.

Rev. ]. c. Redding last evening
closed the series Of evangelistic meet
lngs he has been holding for the last
three weeks at the Central Presbyter-
ian church. Attendance during the
meetings has been uniformly good and
The speakers efforts have been reward
ed with a number OF conversions and
a general Strengthening of the work
of the church.
Tomorrow evening at 7:3O in the
entertainment hail of the Central
church DR.. Redding will deliver
lecture based upon his own exper-
ieDces. OF this lecture one who heard
it given elsewhere, has said:
Beginning with his useful career
as an unsOphisticated Irish lad bound
20 an imperious master, he traced
the steps Of his flight for freedom. his
hard life among the mining camps Of
/ Colorado, his successful deal in an
inflated mining operation, his romantic
introduction and marriage to 'Sallie,
his il starred management Of a for
tune suddenly acquired, without the
acquired art of wise management. the
almost inevitable consequence of
wealth gotten suddenly and without
laborious and patient toll, his entangle-
ment in tbe coils of the serpent and
demon of drink and the sad dark days
of a wasted and bitter life, until the
light of a dawning hope broke upon
his vision and the silver chimes of
Bethlehem's melodies echoed in his i'm
prisoned mind, and by the power of
divine grace and Gods matchless love,
he was brought into the liberty where
with Christ emaDcipates the slaves of
sin Nothing can be more romantic,
more pathetic, and coming through
the prism Of his Irish intellect. and
spiced with his native wit, more anus
ing and withal more instructive than
his story of Ups and Downs of SalIie
and l.
Il have listened to the inimitable
John B. Cough, TO the sublime elo-
quence Of Charles Sumner, TO the
silver-tongued Wendell Phillips, and to
the racy utterances OF Henry Ward
2eecher, but in none Of them did find
myself more profoundly impressed
than in the wit and wisdom and elO-
Cueuce of the Irishman Redding"
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24

lie churches masses were sung by
the choirs assisted by soloists and in
the other churches special and appro-
pirate services OF song and sermon
were given. In many of the churSaes
the hour OF evening worship was given
over TO the rendition of Easter canta-
tas by chorus choirs and soloists aud
most impressive and interesting seq
vices were held. Beautiful Easter
lilies and other spring flowers decked
the affairs and filed the churches with
their sweet perfume.
The weather did however interfere
With the usual Easter parade and few
indeed we're they who dared venture
forth with their Easter bonnets and
ra:ment in the rain and wind
At St Joseph's Catholic church the
annual Easter offering collected yes
terday was s2,05O. which exceeds that
OF last year by a large amount
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
FREE BOOKS FOR THE
FARMERS AND STOCKMENl

Congressman Clyde H. Tavenner
writes The Argus that a number of
very valuable books on diseases of
horses and their treatment and an
other lot Of books on the diseases OF
cattle. have been placed TO his credit,
and that he will be pleased to place
them in the hands of those of his con.
stituents who desire them.
The books contain 200 or 300 pages
each, are well bound, and are prepared
by eminent authorities on the subjects
treated. and would retail for 81 or 81.
Mr.. Tavenner's only desire is that
they go to those who will appreciate
them and read them and need them
Anyone who desires the book may OBJ
tain it free by writing MIR. TayenneI
at Washington.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
BOAT SEASON TO
SOON Be OPENED
Northern Steamboat Company
and Carnival Packet Company
to Establish Offices.

The Northern Steamboat company
and the Carnival City Packet company
viii open their offices in Davenport
and Rock Island Wednesday, March 26.
The nrst boat to leave will be the
steamer Black Hawk which will leave
Davenport at 800 p. m. and Rock Is
lana at p. m. Monday, March 81, to
run in the Rock Island and Burlington
ttade until May l, at which time it
VIII he relieved by the steamer Helen
Blair The Black Hawk will then go
into its own trade between Burlington
an Keokuk.
The steamer Morning Star will
come up from the harbor about May
6, and May will take out the Iowa
State Dental society delegates for an
afternoon and evening trip. May 10
and y it will make two excursions to
the Keokuk dam.
! May 10 the steamer Morning Star
Will leave Davenport and Rock Is
| land at p. m. for a cruise down the
/ Mississippi $40 miles. so miles up the
Ohio river and 800 miles up the Ten
| nessee river to Florence, Ala, return
! ing home May 81 at p. m.
May 30 it will make an afternoon
excursion to Muscatine. Saturday,
| May 81 it will start on its regular
trips to St. Paul and saltwater. leav-
ing every Saturday at 3 p. m. until
Sept Is.
The outlook for this seasons bust
less is very bright. The excursion
/ steamer q. W. Hin of the Wisherd line
will arrive on its way up the river
the latter part Of May and will take
out several excursions. The line will
be represented in the tricities again
this season by w. II. Lamont.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24

Henry Ruben, one of the democratic
candidates for assistant supervisor, is
Cne of the foremost and most respect
ed citizens Of Rock Island He has
resided in the city % years, coming
here from Vo!ine, Russia, where he
was born Dec Is, 1872 He is a family
man. having q wife to whom he was
married in Rock Island % years ago
and the couple has reared a family Of
FIVE children, one daughter and four
sons. whose ages range from u to
20 years
Mr.. Ruben ranks as one OF the rep
resentative business men of Rock Is
land, being proprietor Of the Sterling
Clothing company at 222 Seventeenth
street.
The voters of Rock Island wfll make
no mistake by casting their votes for
him for assistant supervisor. The
members Of the democratic party feel
much gratifed in having his name on
the ticket.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24

two Of them to seat about 150. The
room will measure s5x74. A new pro
mary department Will be built TO the
south, as an a." The room will be
entirely remodeled. new wood work.
floors and fixtures 10 be installed New
heating boilers will be purchased and
the basement Will also be made mod
eru IN every respect. so as 70 accom-
modate additional crowds in case Of an
overflow.
STTCCO SURFACE.
AS % the exterior Of the building, II
has been found that the sandstone
blocks have begun 10 disintegrate. In
order TO preserve them as much as
possible. and incidentally avoid the ad-
ditional expense of rebuilding the
walls, it has been decided to smooth
over the rough surface and stucco the
entire outside of the building. There
viii he Two entrances 10 the Sunday
school rooms. one on the west side
and the other on the north. the pres
ent one TO be moved further west.
With the contemplated improvements,
the First Methodist church will be
among the best in the city as regards
capacity. convenience and beauty.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24

sentmfnded and uninterested IN the
conversation. He twisted about in his
chair and tapped his fingers nervously
upon the table. Finally he turned to-
ward the president and said almost
desperately. Would you mind very
much II I ordered a cocktail?" Then
be flushed a little and offered n laugh
ing apology for making the request.
The other men exchanged surprised
and significant glances. but they called
the waiter and ordered the cocktail.
When it came the guest drank it ca
gerly. In a few moments he had be-
come another man.-the man Of keen
Tision and quick mind. who could be
so useful in their great business. There
was nc more preoccupation in his man
ner. no shifting about in his chair. He
was alert. eager. clear headed.
But as the luncheon went on neither
the president nor the manager men
toned the real object Of the interview
Each was thinking the matter over Sc
riously, and neither could be sure Of
the others secretly formed opinion.
ly the president excused himself on
the pretense OF going into the library
to speak to a friend who had Just en-
tered. But after speaking to his friend
he went straight to the desk and wrote
message on a telegraph blank He
gave the message to a uniformed at
tendant and went back TO the dining
roOm
In n few minutes a page brought n
telegram to the manager, who read 1t
hurriedly. while the president finished
telling their guest about a shooting
trip in Maine. This is what the tele,
gram said:
The Job is too big for a boozer. We
can't run our business by cocktail power.
Youths Companion.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
COST OF A COCKTAIL.
The Drink Young Business Man Had
to Have Before Lunch.

The Drink q Young Business Man Had
to Have Before Lunch.
In New York city there is a man
who once paid $1,000 for a cocktail
He did not know it then. and he never
will know it unless he happens to read
this story.
A certain prosperous manufacturing
company needed a new departmental
manager. The salary was $4,000
year The officers Of the company
considered n great many candidates
and at last decided to offer the position
10 clever yOung man If unusual bust
ness ability. He seemed TO be exactly
the man for that particular place. The
president and general manager invited
the young man to lunch with them at
downtown club. oStenSibly to talk
over less important business matter
They wanted to Took him over Just
once more
The man met them at the appointed
hour. and the president. anxious to
make the occasion a pleasant one. or
de-cd an elaborate luncheon The
waiter was n Ion- time in bringing
the first course. and the l-unSt began
10 appear Ill ut ease He seemed alb
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
HALLTO Be new P.
M.FOR RPORTBYRON
First Appointment by Tavenner
Is Caused by a Resig-
nation.
PRESENT OFFICIAL RETIRED
Voluntarily ReIinquishes Office to Take
Effect June 80 Which Causes
Action.

=
Washington, March 24-Congress-
man Clyde H. Tavenner has recon-
mended the appointment of W. D.
Hall for postmaster at Port Byron. III.
Mr.. Tavenner visited the Office of the
postmaster general and presented the
resignation of Postmaster McCauley
OF Port Byron. 10 take effect on the day
following June 30
Mr.. McCauley's commission does
not expire for long time yet" said
Tavenner. 'and he is resigning OF his OWL
volition. l may add that Alr. McCaul
ey has a very fine record with the
postoffce department. Mr. McCauley
desires that his resignation take eff
feet on June so because on that day
he rounds out alservice Of 16 years as
postmaster at Port Byron"
THE APPoINTEE.
Nr Hall. who is to be Congressman
Tavenner's appointee at Port Byron, is
well known throughout Rock Island
county. and is editor of the Port Byron
Globe and the HiIlsdale Post. Taven
ner paid Mr.. Hall a fine compliment il
recommending his appointment.
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
BIG TREAT FOR EVERYBODY

Hear Rev. J. c. Redding. the Irish
man evangelist, in his famous lee
ture, The Ups and Downs of Sallie
and Ne" at the Central Presbyterian
church tomorrow night. Admission
25c. The price will fade from your
memory after you hear the thrilling re
cital of his unique and eventful life.
Il have listened to Henry Ward Beech
er and other great orators. but in none
of them did ! find myself more pro
foundly impressed than in the wit, wis
dom and eloquence of the Irishman
Redding."
Rock Island Argus., 1913-03-24
NEW ZEALANDERS TO
BE entertainers

The fifth number of the lyceum
course being given at the local high
school is scheduled for Saturday night,
when a trio Of educated Polynesians
will entertain. By song, story and cos
tune the entertainers will show the
contrast between the New Zealanders
and Americans. The three Rawies as
the islanders are known, are educated,
and Nj Rawie speaks English fluent
Iy. The trio will dress in native COS
tune and will give a series of stories
and songs depicting the life Of the
islanders OF the eastern seas.