davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
DAFFYDHS
BY o. NOALL.

If a man forged a 500 would you
call him an inventor of some not?
(No punishment can be too severe
for this man. He's the gink who took
the sense out of nonsense.)
Is the difference between a man in
the top story of a high building and
an astronomer that one is upstairs and
the other StareS up?
CThat1l be about all from you, part
ner)
In the scientific management of a
railroad what is the locomotive?
(Step in, Ladies and Gentlemen!
We're just about to feed them.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
SILENCE.

In the old days, when first knew you, we
Were not afraid of Silence. We could
stand
Whole growing-spaces, staring spleadidiy
AND turn and climb again the mountain
With but a sigh of joy. Or we could sit
Half-hours by the wood-fire. while the
frail
Fierce a sparks whirled starwards from the
Our thoughts. it seemed. their quiet dis
lance kept;
Their highroads never meeting, side by
side,
Woodward and starward, innocent they
swept;
And We were glad, and silent and the
wide
Still world was all our playground. for we
knew
That we could dream together@I and
you.
But now we are afraid of Silence. We
Dare not moment let her come to us,
Lest she betray US, blankly, utterly.
She who was once so kind, now perilous
AS some sly enemy, must stand apart
The shuttle of our words shoots to ana
fro
In worthless webs: while constantly my
heart
Yearns back to Silence, begging her to
show
The old clear look-hushed lips, free
hands. Alas!
Her treacherous. throbbing presence we
must flee;
Must blur the precious moments, till they
pass
To leave me hurt by you-and you by
me,
All. bitter broken day. wnen first we
knew
We dared not dream together-I and you!
Fannie Stearns Davis, in the Atlantic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
AYHAWKER .JOTS

AS a rule, remarks the Lincoln Sen
tinel, self praise is not the greatest
asset to any person.
And the Smith County Pioneer is
willing to bet that the seat on the wa
ter-wagon was a pretty cold one when
the first touches of real winter came.
Advice from the Randolph Enter
prise: Yes. Reginald, if the Christ
mas present your sweetheart gave you
wears out before she gives you an
other, it is a sign that you also have
worn out"
Click Fockele. of the Leroy Re
porter, never made a truer observa-
Christmas dinner-if you don't help
yourself you are liable to lose out on
the turkey.
According to the Moline Advance:
You should be glad now that you
never contracted the habit of calling it
on pronunciation has branded the
above the ''second-class British affecta-
ton
Some fifteen or twenty years ago
a large per cent. of the schools of the
country banished corporal punish
ment, writes Mrs. Tom Thompson in
the Howard Courant; and we heard
much about the growth of more lofty
ideals; of the training of young Amer
lea by the gentler methods of love
anu SudSlOH, dppSailIiS " Ills
sense of honor, and so forth, ad in
finitum. 1t was believed that to ap
ply plenty Of oat meal porridge to his
little insides with plenty of love and
suasion to his little outsides was to
do great things for the little savage.
But what about the harvest? Have
you ever before heard as much about
INSTRUMENTATION in the high schools as
in recent years? Does it not appear
that the children under this beneicent
plan who grew up unspanked are now
turning insurgent and are ready to
stop at nothing short of walloping
the teachers bidding open defiance to
every rule of decent conduct? Super
intendentS and teachers probably do
not always use the best methods in
quelling characterization; but even
though they do not, for the good of
the schools, communities should not
permit their authority to be over
borne. We should no more need pugi-
lists at the head of our schools than
we should at the head of our nation,
in the Big Chair at Washington.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
lFrom the New York Press.J

CFrom the New York Press1
Some things are more to be blushed
at in the thinking than in the saying.
There's not enough money in the
world to seem enough to a man if he
had it all.
1t doesn't take a woman very long
to discover that if a man gives up a
had habit he abuses the family for
it.
Good judgment is refusing to do
what your judgment decides you should
not do.
The baby doesn't yell any more than
it does because there aren't any more
callers than there are to be told it
hardly ever happens.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Neither do many people know as
much as they pretend they do.
j
A man of moods is all right If
they're of the cheerful variety.
j. j. j.
In the game of politics too many
players want to deal from the bottom
of the deck.
j j.
Almost every man thinks he could
do wonderful detective work if he had
the chance.
= = +
Dancing, these days, demands too
much in the line of violent physical
exercise to be pleasurable, except per-
haps, to the very young.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
ON THE SPUR
or THE MOMENT
A Winter Tragedy.
w K. MOULTON

A muffled figure softly stole
On hands and knees into a hole
As dark as night The way was rouGn
With coal and cans and other stuff,
The place was clammy, damp and chill,
AS in a dungeon, all was still
Excepting for the labored wheeze
OF the explorer on Ids knees
Who sought a mystery to clear,
In this deep, ghostly cavern drear,
A candle shed its tremDiing rays.
Distorting objects forty ways.
The grim explorer. Ger the trail
With trembling limbs and features pale,
Pressed ever on, to be the first
One of his kin to know the worst.
Before him haunting fears did loom
That he was near financial doom,
He took a timely mental brace
And searched about from place to place
Until pipe burst on his view.
He found his sad suspicious true
He lost his moral courage then
And madly screamed, "Friz up again"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

and in other matters are concerned that
will give them a chance to be as eff
fective as possible. They represent the
responsible party in the common
wealth for the time being, at least.
They shouldn't permit an impeachment
of any kind to block their way. They
will stand or fall on the records they
made. Therefore, they should have a
free hand in all particulars.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

If the Democratic legislators are
wise they won't fiddle around for the
first two or three weeks of the session
doing practically nothing. This is a
Republican precedent and one that
hasn't much to commend it. 1t has
always resulted in congestion of i'm
portant matters for consideration dur
ing the closing days of the session. And
under such circumstances few of them
receive the attention that they should.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

pleasanter to take a secondary wife
than to get rid of a first one, and
divorces are consequently more rare
than elsewhere, for should the hus-
band try to discard his wife, and she
could prove any of the above reasons
against a divorce, he would not only
be obliged to take her back, but would
nave rendered himself liable to punish
ment.-Lady Blake in Nineteenth Cen
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

A poll of the members of the legis-
lature shows there is not the slightest
doubt but Judge Thompson will obtain
the formal election to the United
States senate that the people insisted
he should have at the election last
fall. 1t should be unanimous And
those members who may vote against
him can never again expect support
on the promise of letting the people
r111e
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

No wonder higher education in Kan
sas is worth while. No less than Sc
per cent of the students at the Uni
versity of Kansas are self-supporting.
When a boy doesn't call on Dad for his
higher schooling, he means to make
the most of it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

President-elect Wilson seems to be
doing an uncommon amount of talk
ing. What the people want, though,
are acts not words. Mr.. Wilson may
be able to deliver the goods. But his
incessant chattering as to what should
be done and what he proposes to do,
are certain to make his job all the
IN
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

1t is up to the Bull Moosers in the
legislature to declare themselves as
the representatives of a party that is
distinct from the Republican party if
they hope for any special recognition
on the committees. The Democratic
leaders have so decided. And if they
take this step. there won't be much
doing for them. They are only hand
full at most
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Almost summer weather in the
midst of winter is the kind that is
most thoroughly enjoyed by the old
folk. And as they don't get any too
much out of life, the weather man will
be doing fine thing If he keeps on
dishing UP the same connection.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

A place among the leaders of the
Prohibition party is evidently not
without it's compensation. They want
a fund of $1,00O.000 for the conduct
of their cause, in 1916.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Zone great advantage of the Ameri-
can stage" says Henry Arthur Jones,
''is that you can hear what is said.''
Apparently he never listened to the
opening chorus in a musical show.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
According to uncle Abner.

Anse Frisby, our banker says it is hard
er OF breack into society than to break out
of jaAA He ought to know. He has tried
both.
often wonder what the Turks do when
they are not fightin'.
Hank Tunlms says he is goin' to get his
wife sewing machine next spring. A
SEWN machine.
The man who used to have a barn has
put gasoline can behind IT and called 1t
garage.
There is one thing that no man ever
made success of, and that is the drink
habit.
What would a suffraget think of her
husband If he paid $40 for a 81 hat with a
ROSTERS tail stuck on it?
They tell US that civilization IS advanc-
Ing by leaps and bounds, but we note
there are still good many men who
wear red neckties.
There are but few fellows In this coun-
try who were never smitten with the
charms of the village milliner.
Teller never knows as much AT any
other period of his life as he does when
he is twenty-one years old.
No man knows what trouble is until he
buys secondhand sewing machine for
his wife and tries to pawn it off on her
for new one.
Grandpa Bibbins is the oldest man in
our town, 1 guess. He says he can re-
member back when tomaters was called
love apples" and was thought to be
pizen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Topeka's Commercial Club, under its
present management, is an asset of in
calculable benefit to the city. The sug-
gestion of Mr.. Kelley, its secretary,
that it should have a membership of
1000 of the dues-paying variety, is as
REASONABLE as it is modest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Surely the Democratic majorities in
each branch of the legislature cannot
be blamed for their desire to take all
the leading roles in the big show: as
Ear aS memberships on the committees
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

An Eastern physician says that nc
couple is perfectly mated. How about
two aces that complete full house %
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

No wonder the cost of living is high
in metropolitan centers In Chicago. for
instance, there are no less than 10000
crooks plying their trade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

General Gomez robbed me of 49,
100000 francs" walls Cipriano Castro.
But worse than that, Gomez also has
his goat,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

One example of doing a perfectly
useless thing is giving a smoker in
Pittsburg.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

In case you haven't done so, read
the message of Governor Hodges to
the legislature. 1t is as full of fruit
as a perfectly good nut is of meat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

A Chicago waiter has just died,
leaving a fortune. Evidently Chicago
is making progress in its imitation of
New York
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state journal 10 Q member Of the
Associated Press and resolves the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
sanitation fer the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka
The news Is received In The State Jecr.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Gertrude Hoffman has been robbed
of all her jewelry. And in the middle
of winter, too.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Don't blame the weather man toe
much. Probably he also bought skates
and coasting sleds for Christmas pres
entS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

Why not let Castro in and make him
serve as a league umpire.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16
From the HickeyviIle Clarion.

Elmer Jones has quit the crayon
portrait business and has got q new
job canvassing for little vest pocket
appliance called the Handy Home Com
panion which combines the following;
Corkscrew, lightning rod, corn husker,
potato knife, curling iron, corn trim
mer, screwdriver, monkey wrench, can
opener, looking glass, microscope, type
writer, glass cutter, cash register, nail
file, jack plane, tack hammer, pocket
knife, lead pencil, tooth brush, cherry
pitter, nutmeg crater, tuning fork, fine
tooth comb, soldering iron, button hook,
flychaser, fountain pen, gimlet, safety
razor, key ring, curry comb, skeleton
key, flat iron handle, camera, pinking
iron, try square, lemon squeezer and
potato bug sprayer, and sells for a
nickel. a half dime. Elmer says the
erfeit money. Elmer figgers that II he
sells eighty-five million of them
month he will be on Easy street.
Hank Tumms, who has been ailing
for some time, had a diagnosis of
physicians him the other day and
they decided he was suffering from
spongeitis. He had an operation seven
years ago and when the doctors got
through and sewed him up they left the
sponge inside. Since that time he has
been the worst old soak in this mans
town.
Constable Ezra Hand has bought a
set of brass buttons from Station Agent
Renfrew Binks down to the railrud de-
pot and will have them put on his new
police uniform. There is some class to
Ez., mostly second class. Hod Peters
has sent down to the city for set of
jackscrews to use on his farm 1t is
not known definite what he is going TO
do, but it is rumored he is going to try
and raise the mortgage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-16

The fact that truth is stranger than
fiction is proved a dozen times a day
to the person fortunate enough to
glimpse the papers of the land. And
the fact that it is far more interesting,
because blood flows in it's veins in
stead of ink, is constantly borne in
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
Woman's Work and Fashions
! IN THE SEWING ROOM.

When you sew a skirt braid the
stitches will not show through the
hem if you slip a piece of pasteboard
three inches long into the hen and
move it as you sew.
A practical overall apron has the
sleeves reaching to the waist and is
cut slightly square at the neck, fasten-
ing at the back.
When kitchen or other towels begin
to show signs of wearing out take two
Of the same size and lay them tOgeth-
err. Then with the sewing machine
stitch both together all around, thus
making one Of them. Also run a line
Of stitching from corner to corner.
forming Il cross. These double towels
will last a long time and do away with
! the need for darning.
Often cOrSets. otherwise in good o n
dition. will break at the hips. To
make them as good as new cut strips
Of f%eatherbOne about four inches long.
finishing the ends the same as for col
lars, and stitch these over the broken
steels. When a large steel is broken
double the featherbone to make it more
durable.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
MILADY'S FOOTWEAR.

Suede shoes and slippers can he clean
ed nicely with cornlmeal or rubbed with
dry bread.
White satin slippers may be freshen-
cd With powdered magneSia.
Sometimes the dressing applied to
it is a good idea to wash them first
with soap and water to remove the
stains first. 4 bath of warm sweet
milk occasionally is a good thing, too.
as it will prevent the leather from
turning so dark.
These same ideas. by the way. may
be applied TO tan leather suit cases.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
THE SUNNI Err COAT STYLE.
ShapeIess Garment Of Straight Cut Is
the Riaht Thing-New Shades.

Loose. straight coats with mo shape
Or make to them are all the go in top
coats.
AS to cut they are quite straight,
with masculine-like shoulders and
sleeves. They come just below the hips
in that length that is best liked this
season. and at the waist line there Is
an outside belt of the material. about
two inches wide. which is slipped
through loops of the material.
Another peculiarly is the fastening.
for they button through, with buttons
and ~buttOnhOles on the edge Of the
coat. and extending from the throat to
the edge of the coat.
White coats. Of course. are very fash
iOnable, very summary. and cry be-
coming, but the new blue shades Chose
lighter. dull tones and the soft pretty
rose tones are also very smart.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15

clIlt. one ullt'l lloOn L Nbo
in the dissecting room hur-
rying to get through with a
subject before the building should be
closed for the night. An examination
was before me the next morning, ana
there would be no opportunity to re-
turn to the dissecting room for some
time to come. l had finished every
member except a foot when time was
up, and, stufting it in a hand bag l
left the ROOM, intending to finish my
work at home.
Or my way | made one Of a game OF
whist in the smoking car with three
strangers. Finishing a rubber just as
my station was called. | hastily picked
up my bag and left the train. On
reaching home | tossed my satchel on
Il table, made my toilet and went down
to dinner. in the evening ! went up
to my room to go to work. What was
my establishment and chagrin on talk
ing up the bag to discover that it was
not mine.
! | was in a pickle. Whoever had
taken my w satchel on opening 1t
would be Mortified to discover q hui
man foot. The fact would be reported
to the police, and If the owner could
be identified ! would be subject to a
charge Of murder.
The wise thing to have done was
to report my loss to the police at once.
| thought of this. but before doing so
concluded to look into the bag had
1t was locked. and l was obliged tc
force it.
1t contained burglars tools.
well" l said to myself, "whoever
has taken my satchel is not likely tc
report his find, since by doing so he
will incriminate himself.'
We're it not for one Of those strang'
condolences that are continually hap
pening my story would end here. .
year after my exchange of satchel
my house. or. rather. my fathers wa
robbed. l followed II Of the mel
! downstairs and caught him by TIN
coattail Just as he was going out tn
front door. He turned and gave me
l blow which knocked me down. H
Z made his escape. but during the brie
instant l saw his face I recognize
my partner at whist on the journe
when l had exchanged satchels.
wondered whether he had recognize
me. but it occurred to me that he IN
e not. for the light was at my back.
Two more years passed, One da
e while on a train a man took a ses
a beside me. and when | looked at hi
l recognized my partner at whist an
in the am man the burglar who la
robbed my fathers house.
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
PRINCIPLES OF FRYING.

First.-Moisture in any form causes
hot fat to splutter and spOils the color
and crispnesS Of the article fried.
SecOnd.-Food placed in fat before it
is the right heat becomes greasy. sod
den. indigestible and badly colored.
Third.-Nery hot fat seals the outside
of the food to be fried at once, prevent
ing grease soaking into or juices escap-
ing from the food.
Fourth.-Overheated fat is dangerous
and makes food fried in it very un-
wholesome.
Therefore-First-Dry all foods to be
fried as much as possible.
Second.-Wait till a faint BLUSH
smoke rises from the fat before putting
in the food.
Third.-Be careful the fat does moi
become overheated and burn. THE
Complete Cook"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
q - 80 q 81: 81 *#:** e 900 q *%* q q II: z: :@ :!*@*#@
s AN EXCHANGE OF SATCHELS s
ii " S
g: BY MORTON r. :

My first thought was to summon the
conductor and have him telegraph
ahead to the police.
Now, it occurred to me that should
l make a charge of burglary against
him l would stand in a vulnerable po-
sition. He had been possessed Of my
subjects foot, and l was uncertain
what, if any, use he would make OF 1t
to establish q countercharge. I con-
Guided to discover if possible what his
intentions might be in this respect. /
told him the story of the exchange Of
satchels as having happened to a
friend of mine. He turned and after
fixing a sharp glance on me said coolly:
Il see you are the man with whom
l played whist and who went off with
my satchel.'
"And you are the man who robbed u
house in NJ. two years ago and whom
l caught by the coattail and recog'
nized as he passed out. Suppose l give
you away
you'll stand trial on a charge OF
MURDER
Il can easily prove that I was a
medical student and was taking the
foot home for dissection"
mot so fast, please. To head you
off, I learned Of a missing man and
secured evidence to prove conclusively
that a man OF your description was
seen to murder the person who had
disappeared. Then I turned over your
satchel with the foot in it to the pc
lice
Suddenly it dawned upon me how
foolish had been not to report the
case myself. 1t would have blOcke6
my opponents game.
IF you report me- he continued
''persons supposed to be unknown to
me will inform the police Of your ilen-
tity with the man whom my witnesses
saw YOU murder. You will be arrest
ed. tried and the best Of circumstantial
) evidence furnished to prove that you
5 had a grudge against him, murdered
l him and intended to protect yourself
in case of discovery by. the fact that
2 YOU We're a medical student studying
anatomy"
e \. mental vision Of one of those cele.
l DrateQ murder cases Oh WHICH l WOulu
be the central figure and wherein hall
y the people believed; in the accused's
/ guilt and the other half in his limo
d cence came up before me.
d MY friend" I said. 'in the eye o.
the law should we inform on eacl
V other we would both :: be suspected
t criminals. which is the next thing tt
n being proved criminals, am quite
d sure I..would be proved guilty. A
d any rate, l should be ruined. Go il
peace"
The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-15
INTERESTING PUZZLES.

There are two numbers, the one 4s,
the other twice as much. What is the
difference between their sum and diff
ference? Answered.. -.
There is a certain club Of fat people
whose number was only Is and yet
weighed no less. than 3 tons. What
was the weight Of each person? An
swer-44S pounds.
What is thu" difference between A.
676 and the fourth of itself? Answer
1907. - -. -.