Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-24
At the End Of the Rainbow.
A FEW OBJECTIONS.
BY WALT MASON.

! this morning. said Mrs. Jamesworthy
| 'She was an old schoolmate of mine, and
1 do feel so sorry for her. She has just
| lost her husband, you know. and she's
all alone. If you don't mind I'd like to
invite her to come and visit me for two
or three weeks"
But do mind objected Jamesworthy.
81 believe l have as much sympathy for
the afflicted as any man of my weight
and If / could make Miranda Toplofty
happier by any reasonable sacrifice I'd
be glad to do it, but I don't want any
| weeping relic in the house here. The
line must be drawn somewhere in this
matter of sympathy. and 1 draw 1t at
having a widow hanging around the
house splashing tears over our best fur
niture know full we'll that Miranda will
be doing a lot Of ground and lofty mourn
ing. making more noise than whole
crowd at the wailing place. How do d
know, you ask? Because, Mrs. James
worthy, she always treated her husband
as though he were the hired man.
haven't forgotten when you and I spent
Sunday at their house, and I never felt
so sorry for any man as l did for Top
lofty. He went around in the most alb
ject and apologize way, as though he
expected a bootjack to hit him in the
small of the back at any moment. His
wife never asked him to do anything
she ordered him. like she despot hand
ing down DEGREES, and when she stamped
her foot Toplofty jumped about eight
feet. If ever man was led a dog s
Now that he is gone--and / congratu-
late him upon his release-his widow
will weep rings around Rachel. who
mourned and refused to be comforted.
1yryox no Nno hot xyQV a yvn q n
who shows by every act and word that
she doesn't care three whoops for her
husband when he is alive IL the one who
will do the londest caterwauling when
really loves her husband will consider
her grief a sacred thing when he crosses
the divide, and she won't go around ex-
hibiting samples at the houses Of her
friends. She will do her weeping at
home. in the quiet and solitude of the
cellar. 1 have studied human nature,
Mrs. Jamesworthy. and l can read a
woman like an open book. If l thought
come here and do her mourning like a
scholar and a gentleman I'd tell you to
invite her to come. but she would be
showing off her affiictioE as though 1t
were the prize pumpkin at the county
fair, and 1 couldn't stand it,
You remember very we'll when you
had Mrs. Average here two or three
days after her bereavement She was
just SUCH d woman as Mrs. IOplOfty,
and she had made her husband wish he
had been dead and buried before he was
born. She made me so uncomfortable
while she was here that I had to go to
the feed store for my meals. Something
was always reminding her of her poor
dear William Henry. and then she'd lean
back and weep She generally had such
seizures at the table. Just when we'd
be getting nicely warmed up to our eat
ing, the cabbage prunes or macaroni
or something would remind her Of her
dear William Henry, and she'd have a
spasm. l couldn't stand for a repetition
of such an ordeal, SO veto this Top
lofty proposition.
Even if l were assured that this af-
1lcted woman would behave herself 7
shouldn't ask her to come. for it would
lead to a lot more expense. In fact. Il
Believe that your object in wanting to
invite her is to bring the shadow of the
poorhouse little closer. You know I
have a few pitiful piasters sailed down in
the building and loan. and you are study
ing up stratagems to get rid of them.
If I told you to go ahead and invite this
weeping widow to our abode you'd re-
member, all of a sudden, that our spare
bedroom needs papering. that the CARPET
Is disgrace to people of our station.
that new china water pitcher is an alb
solute necessity. Then you'd want tn
buy patent rocking chair specially con-
structed for females with secret sor-
row, and there would be requisition after
requisition, until the first lord of the
exchequer reported that there was moth.
ing but hole left. So forget #. Mrs
Jamesworthy. and think Of somethine
useful and profitable