davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-04
Local Data

rE
Local Data.
1912 1918
Highest temperature So -
Lowest temperature $50 -
Z p. m. temperature ....F9 y
Character of Gay $1,000. Cloudy
"a hour precipitation in&ppreeiatle
Sunrise and Sunset.
Sun viii rise today ......... 40
Sun will set today ......... El5
Weather Forecast.
Cairo and vicinity tnsettied
with probable showers Wednesday
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-04
AWARD CONTRACT
TO CONSTRUCT THE
DISTRICT LEVEEs

Concluded from Page one.)
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-04
CHICAGO GUESTS
ACCORDED WARM
RECEPTION HERE

Concluded from Page One. J
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
A UNION STATION NECESSITY.

As public convenience of its kind, the union
passenger station in Washington is widely commend
ed as the best in the world. few steps take the
traveller from car or carriage to mis- train. To OF
from majority of trains, there is no deviation from
the one level. Within this easy compass are pro.
vided all the conveniences and facilities that could
well be expected in such establishment.
But there is one exception to the rule of excel
lent service of the travelling public The street cars
receive and leave thousands of people daily at the
south front of the station, where shelter is pro-
yided for them. If if rains they must get TO or from
their in the rain, Juggling baggage and leading
children. There ought to be shelter. Perhaps il
would be difficult to design in architectural con-
formiy to the noble scheme of the facade, though
it is suspected that canopy Of steel and glass; ex
tending out over the car tracks, would be more
gratifying to travellers bad days than unbroken
view of the artistic perfectons of the structure ano
would not unduly detract from the latter.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
average the best weather conditions Washington

average, the best weather conditions Washington
affords.
The new, not the old, Congress should meet at
the same time and proceed to business. 1t would
know such institution as short session., but
would stick to its task through the winter and as late
into the spring necessary. The business ordinarily
could be completed before the heated term brought
Iasstude and disgust
Changing the date of Inauguration is not an
aryfairy little incident be hurried through without
any consideration Many important matters are to
be considered in connection with it. The quickest
results will be secured on the whole if the whole big
problem is presented at once and acted upon as a
whole.
Merely to shove the inaugural date forward to
April is or May would aggravate tine present unde-
srable arrangement of the political calendar.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
REPRESENTATION FOR THE DISTRICT

The District Commissioners oppose having the
District represented by any elected member or dele
gate in Congress, fearing that the matter wour
presently fall into the ruck of partisan politics, and
be unfortunate for the community.
Will the Commissioners indicate just when any
American community got so superior, so fine of ia
bric so dainty of sensbiities, that it was threat
ened with grave consequences if it came into touch
with the common things of politics?
Will they be good enough to let US know how
New York elects its forty-fve Congressman, and
whether, on the whole, it would be better for New
York to do without representation here in order to
avoid the indelicaces of partisan organization and
elections?
There seems sJme fear that if Washington were
represented in Congress, its representatives would
somehow muss up our relations with the Govern
ment.
The Senators and Congressmen from each of
foryeight States manage to represent the national
concerns of their people without gravely prejudicing
the Government against their respective States.
IL its good thing for Washington to be unrep-
resented in Congress- on the ground that Congress
will be more charitable if helpless, why not
try the same benevolent plan some of the other
dogs; why not convince Pennsylvania that it would
get along better without any Congressman or Sena-
tors
Alaska and Porto Rico and the Philippines and
Hawaii-yes, they are represented; but Washington
must 60 without spokesman!
Entirely aside from the pecuarites of our local
administrative situation not Washington people
part of the American Union? Are they not affected
by national legislation just are the people of
Oklahoma and Oregon? Haven't they interests in
the purely national view of affairs? Are they less
capable of commissioning spokesman than the peo-
pie, say, of Samar?
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
MAKING IMPEACHMENT EASIER.

Jursts and lawyers who regarded as highly Slgnlfl-
cant the conviction of Judge Archibald for writing
a private letter about pending case to the lawyer
for an interested railroad will not fail to note
further admonition in the introduction of bill to
make impeachment easier.
Senator Pomerene has presented measure to
lberalize the impeachment provision of the Consti-
tuition, so that it may be possible to have COM
mittee of the Senate try an impeachment case, as a
committee tries the case involving Senator's right
to a seat. The few impeachment cases that nave
been tried have amply demonstrated the impossible.
iy of the old procedure. committee ought to take
the testimony, and submit it to the Senate, which
should then vote on it.
Senate: Pomerene proposes to preserve the old
method of impeachment when the President, Vice
President or Chief Justice is involved; which is
proper enough '' f.'
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
NO "cLEvERER" THAN THE ANCIENTs

No doubt, the ancients were wise in their day
and generation, but it is something of shock to
learn the conclusion to which DR.. Alfred Russell
Wallace, one of Englands foremost authors in the
fields of natural history and social science has come
at 90 years of age. AS quoted in London dispatch,
he holds that there has been no general advance
either in intellect morals from the days of the
earliest Egyptians and Syrians down to the keel
laying of the latest dreadnought" the Doctor, while
admitting, of course, that there has been a great
accumulation of human knowledge" insists that I'VE
are no cleverer than the ancients."
Perhaps we are not Let US take a "crimp" in
our vanity and try to bear it. But the modern man,
whether cleverer than his remote ancestor or not,
is the heir of all the ages, and upon him is the
responsibility of using the great heritage of knowl-
edge and experience that has come down to him.
knowledge is power, and it means more to live now
than it did at the dawn of civilization
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
CHANGING THE INAUGURATION DATE.

Senator Root has proposed that when the upper
chamber considers the constitutional amendment to
fix the Presidents term at six years and limit the
Executive to a single term, the question of changing
the inaugural date should go with it. Mr.. Root is
correct
Changing the inaugural date is big affair. 1t
involves a general reorganization of the political
calendar; and that reorganization is needed There
ought to be no short session Of retiring Congress
after the election of its successor. That should be
covered in any scheme of changes.
Likewise, the provision for the election of a
President by the House should be changed, so that
if the Electoral College fails the new House, not the
retiring one, shall elect the President.
Taking all these features into consideration, a
project like this should be put forward:
The general election should be held, say, Sep
tember l5 or thereabouts.
The Inauguration of the new President should take
place about November /. That would insure, on an
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
What's on the Program, in
Washington 7oday

The following Masonic organization viii
meet tonight: Lodges-Naval, No. 4,
NJ. NJ: Hiram, No. 10. z. A.: La
Fayette, No, 70, NJ. NJ; William r.
Singleton, No. 30. E. A. Royal and
Select Observation-Disclosures Council. No.
.. Eastern Star-Esther Chapter. No.
5.
The following /. o. o. F. lodges win
meet tonight: Columbia. No. 10 de-
gree; Excelsior. No. Il. and Salem, No.
-. business.
The following Red Mems tribes will
meet tonight: Logan, No. s. Sioux.
No. IS
Meeting of Franklin Lodge. No. 2. X.
OF p, tonight.
Meeting of America Castle. No. J. Col
den Eagle tonight
Lecture BY the Rev. Dr. Walter ].
ShanIey on History OF Temperance
i'm the United States" Catholic Uni
ysrsity, this afternoon.
Installation of officers and smoker by
the Building Trades Council. Plaster
ers' Hall, Four-and-a-hah street and
Pennsylvania avenue northwest, to-
night.
ovsier roast by the Young Peoples
Society OF ST. stephens Church. four
teenth street and Columbia road. to-
night
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Getting His Bearings.

TIHE Rev. ]. Henning Nelms. rec
tor of the Church of the Ascen-
sion, was a Virginia lawyer be-
fore he became a minister. One
of his favorite anecdotes of the Vir-
ginia police court relates to an old
time darky who was hauled up before
the judge for stealing a hen.
Rastus sat throughout the trial with
out paying a bit OF attention to the
arguments of the prosecuting attorney.
or to his own defense. for that matter.
and was miles away" so to speak.
The judge wanted to be easy on tae
old man. TOR il was his first offense,
and during the course OF the argument,
while the old man was dreaming away
unmindful of what was going on around
him. the judge asked:
SRastus. do you drink?
Rastus Immediately was all attention
ledge" said he, .can I AK you is
dat an inquiry or invitation?"-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
@ naE
1';I|I|IE|ggp
MRS. JARR HAS A NARROW
ESCAPE IN REALMS OF ART

TVHE orgies in Mildred Mowbray
Pilkington's studio began with
i saxaphone solo by Mr.. Mildred
Mowbrsy Pilkington. 1t was
little improvisation of his own. he an
nounced, a nocturne entitled The
Ghoul's RiSadoon."
In the low notes he was aided greatly
by the snores of the hasheesh poet on
the divan.
Mrs. Stryver and Mrs. Clara Mud
ridge-Smith We're in ecstacies. But Mrs.
Jarrs eyes were fixed upon the lady
Bohemian who was smoking the meer-
schaum pipe. and for the life of her she
could not dissociate herself from the
idea that the hideous means of the
saxaphone were emanating from the
meerschaum pipe. while the smoke that
drifted up from this lady's parched lips
was really being emitted from Mr.. Mil
dred Mowbray Piltington's saxaphone.
1t might have been the hasheesh the
poet had eaten, or II may have been the
equally acrid fumes from the Joss
sticks burning in a copper bowl on a
tabouret near by, but Mrs. Jarr felt
faint and sickish.
She could see that Mrs. Stryver and
Mrs. Mudridge- Smith, being among peo-
pie they did not understand and hear
ing and seeing things intensely foreign
to them, believed II was Art, Soul, and
Inspiration.
After the 'Ghoul's Rigadoon" was
The Washington times., 1913-01-16


ened-but Running Away isn't one
of them.
A Lot of us Congratulate ourselves be-
cause we lima gine we Break about Even
at the End of a Poker Year-but our
Figures don't Consider the Loss of Per-
fectly Good Time and the Wear and
Tear OH the Nervous System,
There's a Heap of Difference between
Sure-enough Zeal and Merely Getting
"Het Up!"
Every Day a Lot of Valuable Time Is
Wasted up and down the World by
Folks who Imagine that they can Pla-
cate Fate,
ployed when were Trying to Convince
ourselves that we're Doing Our Besti
tranquility of Spirit isn't the
Main Ingredient OF Success-but
it Makes a Mighty Good Leapener!
Quitting is so Ignoble that We Never
Feel like Blaming the Man who Digs up
Lying Reason for Doing It,
The only Kind of Enthusiasm that's
Worth While is the Sort that can Take
Punishment and Still go on Effervescing.
Some Of us Suffer from Over-Sterilized
Initiative,
There's Always another Anchorage II
your Moorings are Bad,
The Man who Finds II Hard to Forgive
himself is Pretty Apt to take a Chari-
to of ha nf
That the Savage Strain stiil Survives in
Some of us is Indicated by the Fact
that often our First Impulse is to Jump
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
For the Sake Of Brevity.

RI HEARD story in Germany" says
George Schrlitnacht. who has just
returned, about a novelist and
Ian editor. The editor had ordered
a story of certain length, and the
novelist had written several hundred
words too many. In order to make the
story fit the space at his disposal the
last few paragraphs were condensed
into a single sentence This is the way
II read:
"'Von Berken took small glass Of
whiskey, his hat. his departure. no no.
tice OF his pursuers. a revolver out OF
his pocket, and. finally. his life. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
THIS & THAT
And In addition, don't forget
She may be Rita JOlivet.
Wah Sometimes a Lutte ofthe Other

The Commissioners reasons for op-
posing a District Congressional dele
gate. with all due respect to the gentle
men, sound as though they had been
conceived by the ladies of the Tuesday
Afternoon Knitting Society.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Amusements.

NstionaE-..Kismet."S s p. m.
Relasco-"Julius Caesar" p. m
Columbia-"Oyer the River" 2:l5 and
Sis p. m.
cbase's-Polite Vaudeville. 2:15 and Sis
PoIi's-Vaudeville. Afternoon and evening.
Academy-"pion o'Dare.' s:15 and sis
d. n.
Cosmos-Vaudeville.
Casino-Vaudeville.
Lyceum-Zaliah's Burlesque. els and
S:15 D. m.
Gayety-"worid of Pleasure" s:l5 and
S:lS ,. N.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

Reports of prosperous conditions
throughout the country appear TO have
been marktwainly exaggerated. Indus
try after industry IS about TO appoint a
receiver for tho whole darned shooting
match; conditions in every line of bust
ness are next to appalling. No, not
every line: the tariff hearings have pro-
gressed only to schedule ii.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Ts@ % dJ@{gggn

done fat woman with large nose and
a rugged. leathery face, who had come
In during the saxaphone solo, bearing a
black bag. opened the handbag without
more ado and taking out false boards.
| spectacles, and wigs, proceeded TO give
Plastic Phases Of Great Men, Past
and Present"
When she put on a gray mustache
and a bald wig and borrowed the pipe
from the smoking lady and Nj. Pix
ington struck up THE wacht am
Rhein' on the studio plano, everybody
murmured in unison Bismarck
After the !eather-faced lady had
| donned all her wigs and other i'm
plements of torture 10 the beholders
and everybody guessed correctly which
phase OF great men past and present
she impersonated. thanks to Mr.. Pilk-
Ington's musical charades. Mrs. Pix
Ington arose.
Drawing aside a curtain, and dis
closing thereby an oilstove. some un-
washed dishes and Mr.. Pilkington's
street or citizens clothers, Mrs. PilS-
lngfon produced a tin tub in which q
curious apparatus OF gears and levers
was placed.
Demonstrates Her
Wonderful Invention"
MY demonstration with domestic up
lift-for tonight is Domestic Night in
our studio-is of a wonderful inveH-
ton to emancipate our SEX" (Mr Pix
ington applauded loudly from the
drudgery of the blanchisserie." said
Mrs. PilkinSton.
Knowing this was a foreign word
Aa NAI
pect, Mrs. Stryver and Mrs. Mudridge-
Smith murmured polite Hear!
Hear," Remembering French lessons
of other days, Mrs. Jarr guessed that
the apparatus was a washing machine.
THE principle is vacuum. Mrs; PIX
ington went on. ''One can read Ros-
setti or Maeterl nck. or pore over the
absorbing creations of Beardsley, or
even compose a sonnet while cleansing
the habiliments of the menage.
"One," here Mrs. Pilkington gazed
steadily at the three strange ladies in
Studioiand, may even cleanse the gar
ments of the household wilhelm evening
dress In fact I know a millionaire's
wife who did the family washing'-the
plain. common purpose OF the thing
was out-"while at costume party at
her mansion.
What She Did
At Costume Party.
THE vacuum washer was placed, with
the family linen. dasher churn,
and. costumed as Dresden shep-
herdess. Mrs. Vandergould did sixteen
sheets, four pillow cases. nineteen table
napkins and four pairs of lace cur
tains.'
How delightfu:r' cried all the lady
Bohemians. III take one!'
TOO bad have so little money with
me-" murmured Mrs. Stryver. 1T is
Just what / want.
Fortunately, Mr.. Pilkington had a
hook OF blank checks. and Mrs. Mai-
ridge-Smith also secured one of the
washing machines
Mrs. Jarr stood firm. She said she
hadn't a Dresden shepherdess costume
~ somehow feel We have been ex-
| plotted" said Mrs. Jarr as they drove
uptown in Mrs. MudridSe-Smith' s
motor.
GLOW can YOU talk that way about
those dear, artistic souls?" cried the
other ladies'
But Mr.. Jarr agreed with Mrs. Jarr' s
] surmise when he was told about it.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
WE COULD HAVE SURVIVED 1T.

G. S. X: Speaking of fountain pens
running dry, wouldn't it have been
awful If mine had quit working Just as
I was writing this contribution?
CHEVY CHASE.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

As to our representation in the in
ask d. l. B. to march for us, bearing
a fasces containing the columns SYM
bol-the AK
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

We have not purchased the Govern
ment's new cook book, but We intend
to do So. Probably it does not contain
the recipe we are looking for; that Is
asking too much. What We want to
know, to get down to business, is how
to make cranberry jelly, in order that
We may pass the recipe on to the lady
who cooks our cranberries. and who
assures us that she doesn't know how
to make them jell, but would be glad
to learn.
When We succeed in finding the recipe
We are going to publish it in this
column. in the hope that others may
profit by it. Cranberry jelly. properly
made. is food fit for a king; but cram
berry soup is nix
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Cheer Up, Cuthbert !!
By Clarence l.. Culle,.

N the Game of I-Spy with Monsieur
Success the Straddler is Always
1T.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

on Those who are Down-and then our
Civilized Consciousness points the
Finger of Shame at US,
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

humor. We are willing to bear with all
OF them. the single exception being the
man who divides all jokes into. two
classes. his own and the ones he doesn't
laugh at.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
THANKS FOR THE AD, WALT.

From one Of Walt Masons prosepomes)
Wax says a law we ought to have, re-
quiring THIS, compelling THAT.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

Prices for various necessities are not
to be advanced Inauguration week. as
previously announced by the committee.
and a taxicab company yesterday con-
tributed $3.50 TO the inaugural fund. Sail.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
There neper mas a Renowned
Ruler who wdsn't SeE-Rnled!

It's all right to Make an Inventory OF
Yoprself-but let Somebody Else do the
Appraising!
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

When Pagannini was in the jug he
Composed and Played a Concerto for
the G String only-because that's the
ated Fiddlei
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Testimonial.

G. S. K.-I think the last line Of your
column is always terribly funny. The
initials, I mean. S. n. J.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
CONTRIBUTION

GO AHEAD: WHAT DOES 1T SAVE?
THINKING UP a GOOD
CONTRIBUTIONS?
G. S. X: Can't you work up something
on the Panama Canal. such as A
ditch in time saves, etc." +. T. W.
Princeton, ". j.. Jan. H.
Mr.. Reinald Werrenrath rendered a
solo. "Ein Ton" at the Rubinstein
Club concert. and we'll give you one
guess as to whether it were light or
heavy music.
Representative Redfield says that he
was In the Equitable building, pointed
out its complete nselessness, and the
next morning II burned down.
Come on up and criticlso the post
office, Will. G. s. X.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

BE on the safe side where beer is
concerned" runs an advertisement.
Which doesn't mean the outside. believe
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

To tell how far bicyclist has tray-
eled on days such es thi3,' merely look
at his back.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

AS to what would happen II law
were passed prohibiting stock gambling.
We think we can almost guess 1t. A law
would be passed prohibiting stock gamb-
ling
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

II the Money trust be hypothetical,
this column is no less so. Hypothetical.
says Webster. is something that is 'as-
sumed without proof for the purpose of
argument" Well. we assumed this
column for the purpose Of argument.
and without proofs. too, thanks to the
vagaries of the comp room. So there
you are.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
VERBAL AVERSIONS.

Go search each nook and Granny /;
grid
The everlasting globe
You'll find no more obnoxious word
Than "probe."
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

The Stars" subhead on Rockville
news items. yesterday, was this:
Miss Flora Yarlick and Louis Ben.
nett Manufacturer Small
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

| There are a
Number of Ways
whereby @ Bad
Bet may be
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

Whenever We Hear one of our Bud
dies making Jest OF his Cruise on the
Aqua Vehicle. something Seems to Tell
US he isn't Going to Finish the Voyagei
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

We don't HAVE
to Rail merely be-
cause we FAIL
We can recall a
Lot of Sure-Thing
Players who Died
Poori
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

IL the weather doesn't change.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16

Overheard in stationery store:
CUSTOMER: II want to get some iope
envelopes"
CLERK: ''Yes. sir. How long do you
want them?''
CUSTOMER: What's that?''
CLERK: II said, how long do you
want them?"
CUSTOMER: why. i want to keep
them Of course"
The Washington times., 1913-01-16
Damages,

1t is like delving back into medieval
days to read that the Senatorial fight
in West Virginia Is between Messrs.
French and England.
The Washington times., 1913-01-16


profit by it. Cranberry jelly. properly
made. is food fit for king; but cram
berry soup is nix.
VERBAL AVERSIONS.
Go search each nook and Granny /;
grid
] The everlasting globe
You'll find no more obnoxious word
Than "pr0be."
As to our representation in the in
augural parade. we believe we shall
fasces containing the columns SYM
bol-the ak.
WE COULD HAVE SURVIVED 1T.
| G. S. X: Speaking of fountain pens
running dry, wouldn't it have been
awful If mine had quit working just as
I was writing this contribution?
| CHEVY CHASE.
BE on the safe side where beer is
Which doesn't mean the outside. believe
us.
! The Stars" subhead on Rockville
| news items, yesterday, was this:
Miss Flora Yarlick and Louis Ben.
nett Married d-Given Small
Damages.
| 1t is like delving back into medieval
days to read that the Senatorial fight
in West Virginia Is between Messrs.
French and England.
Overheard in a stationery store:
CUSTOMER: Il want to get some iope
envelopes"
CLERK: 'Yes. sir. How long do you
want them?'
CUSTOMER: What's that?'
CLERK: II said, how long do you
want them?"
CUSTOMER: why. want to keep
them. Of course"
II the Money trust be hypothetical,
this column Is no less so. Hypothetical,
says Webster, is something that is ''as-
sumed without proof for the purpose of
argument" Well. we assumed this
column for the purpose OF argument,
and without proofs. too, thanks to the
vagaries of the comp room. So there
you are.
AS to what would happen IL a law
were passed prohibiting stock gambling.
We think we can almost guess It, A law
would be passed prohibiting stock gamb-
ling.
Prices for various necessities are not
to be advanced Inauguration week. as
previously announced by the committee.
and taxicab company yesterday con-
tributed $3.50 TO the inaugural fund. sail.
Testimonial.
G. S. K.-I think the last line Of your
column is always terribly funny. The
initials, mean. S. n. J.
Still, every man to his own idea of
humor We are willing to bear with all
OF them. the single exception being the
man who divides all jokes into, two
classes. his own and the ones he doesn't
laugh at.
Reports of prosperous conditions
throughout the country appear TO have
been marktwainly exaggerated. Indus
try after industry is about to appoint a
receiver for tho whole darned shooting
match; conditions in every line of bust
ness are next to appalling. No, not
every line: the tariff hearings have pro-
gressed only to schedule ii.
To tell how far a bicyclist has tray
eled on days such es this,' merely look
at his back
IL the weather doesn't change.