The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1913-12-14
STRENUOUS BATTLE
FOR DICTATORSHIP
IS F|ERCELY WAGtO
Bryanna, Clarkista, Hearsta.
La Follettero and Others in
Turn Get Control of Next
can Troops.
Champero Spares Life Enemy
Bryanna but Cuts His Vocal
Chords---Currency Measure
Quickly Passed by Gridiron
Club.

WASHINGTON. Dec. 13.-The Grid
iron club gave its first dinner OF the
season at the New Willard hotel here
tonight President wilson's illness
prevented him from being present, but
while It caused many expressions OF
regret In the course Of the dinner. IL
did not spoil the good time that the
club had planned for it's guests.
Nearly all the members OF the cab
met had seats at the table. and there
were several representatives CT foreign
governments senators, congressman
and men prominent in business and
professional. life. The yfce-presideut
also was on hand. and he enjoyed him
self thoroughly In fact. the Hon.
Thomas r. Marshall was president Of
the United States for one evening. so
far AS the Gridiron entertainment was
concerned The members of the club
met the emergency caused by the
presidents Illness through the substi-
tuition of Mr. Marshall as thu guest Of
honor. and through assuming for the
evening that he was acting president.
( John PurrUy Mitchell. the newly
elected mayor Of New York, was ono
of the guests at whose expense the
/ club made fun.
Mitchell Makes Speech.
! Just before Mr. Mitchell was called
upon for speech, one u the club
members dressed as an Indian maid
/ en-, entered the banquet hall. followed
! by a chorus singing a Tammany song
/ tn the tune of Follow Me; Follow
J Me" from The Belle of New York"
/ Mayor elect Mitchell was equal to thu
/ occasion, and made clever speech la
reply.
! The guests were hardly seated at
/ the tables when one member arose
] and announced that the present con-
gress seemed to have difficulty In pass
/ Ing the currency bill. He proposed to
show the guests how the Gridiron club
would expedite legislative business
and asked permission of the commit
| tee on banking and currency to paas
1.-The bill Immediately. This was grant,
ed and the members OF the commits
/ tee, made up TO represent different
/ senators. entered the banquet hall and
distributed to each guest leather bill
/ field pocketbook On opening 1t. the
diner found wad of Gridlron bank
notes, on which were printed the fol-
| lowing:
'tYou will find this as hard TO pass
as the currency bill"
+ In the hill-fold also was the menu
of the dinner.
In Comes Emmeline.
] The guests had hardly recovered
from this surprise when a porter ems
I tered the room pushing "A large bag
gage truck. On the truck was an Inn
mense hamper, addressed - the Grid
lircn club. rhe hamper was deposited
! in the well in front OF the president OF
THE club President Kaufman wanted
to know what II was. and ordered II
opened. Out popped an elderly lady,
but very energetic. waving Votes To-
Women flags.
Il am Mrs Pankhurst-Emmelin
/ Pankhurst," said the intruder to the
Indignant protest of the president OF
the club.
Mrs. Pank hurst was invited to take
q seat AS she was about to seat her
self beside Vice-President Marshall,
| customs inspector hurried In and in
sisted upon Examining her baggage
From the depths of her hSndbag ne
produced link OF sausage. and LOAF
Of bred, as evidence that she was evil
IDENTIFY preparing for a hunger strike.
The customs Inspector insisted that be-
fore Mrs. Pankhurst could inter the
country he at least would be Obliged
to snip three aigrettes from her hat.
When this was attempted the indig-
nant sufTragette hastily retreated. stilt
waving her flag.
Secretary BRYAN and his chautauquA
wanderings came in for several hits
by the club.
The NJ exican situation was the sub
iect of another skit. During lull
in the dinner a great noise " as heard
+ outside. and shouts of Mexico, viva
Mexico, Extta, Extra were heard.
i A member OF the club rushed In TO in-1
form President Kaufman that an extra
was out, announcing "gr I'VE crisis IN
American affairs. The United States
MeNicanized. Dictator takes reins Of
government"
u. s. Mexicanized.
But the United States government
not only had been Mexicanized out
side the banquet hall, but inside as
well. for the dictator himself stalked
into the room followed by a Mexican
army, clad in gaudy but hedraggled
costumes, and headed by base drum
mer and a color bearer. Following
this procession came two Mextcans.
one labelled 'Bryannas' and the other
''Tumulte.
"Viya Mexico" shouted BryannA.
hut Tumulte scowled at him. and ask
ed him the Irish of 1t. Bryanna. IN
an address To his army, declared that
he loved them. but could not pay
their salaries. However, he would
|, make them all generals.
go out and find Champero Clark
isfa and XIII him. ordered bfyannta.
why repeat? You killed Chains
,, pero Clarkista at Baltimore" inter-
rupted Tumulte
Then there was another racket out
. side and Champero Ciarkista himself
was heard trying to induce the army
to Join him. They refused until he
promised 10 make them privatea
again. and pay them. Then they
marched back into the banquet hall.
, this time escorting Ciarkista. and
shouting their vivas.
Ciarkista ordered the army to Head
Bryanna out and shoot him. bat on
second thought he decided to fnfiic4
q more severe punishment, and ccm~