Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-10-23
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

OF THE TOWN
= BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN
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1t is even better to stay at home than
to be killed while riding in an ANTONIO
bile.
1t was noticed on Sunday that one
touch of winter made the whole frame
SILVER.
Three months ago it did not seem
possible that steam heat could ever
feel agreeable again.
You may count among the benefact-
ors of the race the man who has invent
ed the painless cucumber.
The best way to avoid trouble is to
never allow your nose to project more
than an inch or so from your face.
1t sometimes requires keen sense of
discrimination to tell the difference be-
tween peacemaker and busybody.
-
That judge who ruled man is boss
in his own house decided what every
body knows but which few wives heed
The man who lost his entire corn
crop in late July and early August is
now wondering where he will find corn
pickers.
And still our telephone operators
probably have more than a fifth-grade
child's knowledge of the vocabulary of
irritation.
There was an exidous of young fell
lows from this good old town a couple
of weeks ago, but many are returning
to the fold.
There was time when the family
that had porch swing stood as high
socially as the family that has an
automobile now.
1t doesn't take bride long to dis
cover that no woman can live in abso-
Lutte content and avine-clad cottage with
tightwad husband.
In the days of ancient Rome the
populace was contented with bread and
circuses. Now it demands peanuts and
moving picture shows.
We find men who spend so much
time Dragging about the immensely of
the Panama canal that they haven't
time to dig up. enough coin to pay the
grocery man.
The ten commandments and the law
providing that weeds shall be cut along
the roadsides and the highways dragged
when they need it are about equally
shot to pieces in practice.
A suffragist leader demands pockets
in. women's skirts. Go ahead But if
it is fcaboose pocket and girl ever
gets her hand into it she will break her
wrist trying to get it ont.
Speaking Of cooked hats isn't Mr..
Bryan cooking his in the face of pop.
ular protest when he insists that he
will continue to chautaulk until he
gets good and ready to quit2
Complaint is made that there are
not enough goats in this country. OF
course, every one should have his goat,
and to do that he should not be com
PEELED to get his neighbor's. F..
The New York Base Ball club should
not worry, for since the days of old
when knights were bold" young Davids
have been knocking out their Giants
with slingshots, balls, bats and things.
1t usually makes an old-fashioned
housekeeper feel good when she remem-
bers that she doesn't have to fill the
electric lights-that is when our plant
is running and not referring to last
night.
Men who attempt TO color Gala
bash pipe to match the rich brown of
the lower bowl may appreciate in a
small way the trials of the girl who
seeks to get sunburned to the hue of
,he large freckle on her nose.
Sulzer, the impeached governor of
New York has been removed from
,ffice on what he calls clearly tech
lical error" But, What of it?"
They caught him with the goods on
lin like other men we know of have
leen caught.
If some foreign country conld grab
Harry Thaw and Jerome and several
'thers with a writ of habeas corpus or
omething just as good and fly away
With them there wouldn't be any de-
nand by the United States government
or damages or insult to the flag.
1t happened during fair week in Au-
ubon that an old confederate $40 note
assed for face value. AS we under
tand it one of the boys received $3.50
{ Uncle Sans money in change and
% in turn divided the money equally
etween three pals. Some of those
Dung boys are not always as sleepy
nd listless as they appear to be.
1t is surprising how much news peo-
lie can give reporter that is not for
If we would attempt TO
ublish all that was told us this week
hat was not for publication our read.
RS would be reading items in this
olumn from now until Saturday night
nd then you wouldn't get through in
ma to study the Sunday school lesson
Boys who smoke cigarettes are like
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