The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13
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\ Laugh With Us
Ilttas etories' That Have
ldAdo Many smiles.

Two young employees OF a florist,
who are supposed to be variously en-
ployed In the rear OF the establish
things in the front, were recently
startled by the appearance Of the
old man" while they were engrossed
in. 9 game OF checkers.
The proprietor wat Justly tndts-
nant. How is it," he demanded,
that l hardly ever found you fell
lows at work when l come out here?"
II know" volunteered one Of the
youths. It's on account Of those
They. were on the subject Of girls.
Look here!" exclaimed McFar-
land. Did YOU v e take a girl out
to lunch when she felt a little faint? =
"Er-nos" admitted Smith reluct-
Wen. take my advice and don't.
One day / took Miss Jennie West
declined to a anything, but then
she said she believed she did feel 4
little faint"
Did she take a%nythins?"
Did she take anything? She
seized the menu, glanc, d over It, said
she didn't feel very hungry and or
Wen. what did she order"
"Oysters. bouillon. lobster. outlets,
shrimp salad, biscuit giace. macar.
oons. coffee and creme de menthe. 1t
cost me SO.
Well. % ought to be glad" said
Smith. -
Glad? What for?"
why, glad she wasn't hungry"
A politician. upon his arrival at
n Of the small towns of North Da-
kota, where he was to make a speech
the following day, found that the two
%so-called hotels were crowded to the
doors.
Not having telesraphed for accom-
modations. the politician discovered
that he would have to make shift as
best he could.
He was compelled for that night
to sleep on a wire cot, which had
only some blankets and a sheet on
y. As the statesman is q fat man
he found his improvisedAbed any
thing but comfortable. z -
Well" asked q friend, when the
politician appeared in the dining
room In the morning. "how did you
Sleep"
statesman. nonehalantly. but /
An old "befo de wah" darby was
called upon to make a few remarks
over the grave Of a friend. He re-
moved his hat. stepped reverentiy
and sadly toward the open grave
grave and in solemn. ~funereal tones
said: Friday. Vizier, you is gone. We
hope you is gone whar we 'spects
Theatrical Manager Ito applicant
for a job-So you think you would
make a good advance agent, eh 2"
Well. we play Hamlet" at Willy
winkus, n. j.. one night next week.
suppose I should send you ahead Of
the show to work in its interests
there. What would you do first?
Applicant-Buy up all the eggs.
There was a new parlor maid in
the house and Mrs. .Bleecher was in
some doubt as to her intelligence. So
she asked at dusk:
gas in the parlor, 9 told you?"
Yes, mum; iviry tube C~ant-yez
Little Johnnie had been reading the
Newspaper.
Pa" he said. as he laid the paper
aside. where is Dresden? 2"
Dresden? Why. Dresden is in
G sIla aW,I my son." said MIR. knowit-
"oh. nothin'." said Johnnie, "only
this paper must be edited by an IT,
goramious. He speaks of Dresden,
China"
A street car hirt tried in every way
to -aattract the attention ofathe-pret-
ty young girl opposite him. Just as
had about given up the girl, en-
ttrely unconscious Of what had been
going on. happened to. glance in his
courage.
IT'S cold u today. isn't it?" he
venturned.
The girl smiled and nodded assent
nut had nothing to say.
MY name is Specknoodle," he VOL
unteered.
"oh, I am so SORRY" she said. sym.
pathetfcally. as she left the car.
Some day an ORIGINAL author will
write q newspaper story in which the
cub isn't the best reporter on the pa
per. -
Personally we prefer q kreenhorn
to a younsster who Is too dadburned
smart; In fact, we prefer most anv
type to the latter.