The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-22
HU140R or THE D<Y


woman is showing letters of his saying
he'd do all sorts OF things for her. Wye
with the accent on the SORRY. Boston
Transcript.
What does this mean. Bridget?" ex-
claimed the lady of the house. returning
from shopping. 1.-The telephones been
taken out" sure. ma'am. the girl across
the way came over and said her missus
would like to use it for little while, and
l stint it over to her: but had a terrible
job gettin' 1T unscrewed from the wall,
ma am. "-Pathfnder.
This novel is sure hewing close to the
line of realism" The heroine marries
throws him down and marries the rich
young profligate and they live happily
forever after.'-Houston Post.
do you really believe, doctor. that your
medicines really keep anybody alive?
asked the skeptic. Surely" returned the
doctor. my prescriptions have kept three
druggists and their families alive in this
town for twelve years."-Harper's Week
".
Miss BoIde" said the shy student to
the fair one on the other side OF the sofa,
would You say?' ..rd saw You're the
LATEST man ever met."-AIinnesota Min
nie-Ha-Ha.
jokes to my wite-she only laughs at
them. Second Humorist-You're lucky
mine cries!-Chfcago Daily News.
Thoughtful Jane!-'HTyventy minutes for
refreshmentsv' bawled the conductor as
he passed down the aisles. A little girl
him by the sleeve. 'You needn't stop the
train on our account" she said timidly.
We're going to eat ours right here In
the car."-woman's Home Companion.
Value Of Advertising.-''why should
| advertiser We'll, here is an example:
America wasn't named after Columbus,
who discovered it, but after Amer1So
Louisville courier-JournaI.
waiting.-Chatty Waiter Cg1ancing out
| of window)-TBe rain'n be ERE in a min
didn't order it; I'm waiting for q chop
| Boston Transcript.
Sure Test-Gabe-How do you tell a
genuine diamond from a fake7 Steve
Try to hook it.-Cincinnai Enquirer.
Miss-Anthropic.-'Ts an elopement ever
PRUDENT" 'Tt may be sometimes. but
generally it is mistaken affair."-Bal-
timore American.
Mur1ei--wasn't her father on your sddeT
He-No. in the back OF me.-Philadelphla
Telegraph.
She-When we are married dear, must
| have three servants. He-Certainly, OAR
| ling. But try to keep each as long as
possible.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch-
First Humor1st-No. I never read my
HAS the price OF sirloin steak advanced
mel How do you account for it?'' This
happens to be the day for the ADVANCE
ment of porterhouse. Record
Herald.
Now that you have made s5ooooOoo L
az l SGns to Keep for
mtllions? mo, sir. You do me an In
justice. I'm going to put In the rest or
satisfactory condition. "-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
exactly as they occurred?" 'aOf have
sorr, the plain truth an ye win be aba
to put in all the rest yerseif."-London
Paw Knows Everything.-wfIIie-Pa
what is the difference between a political
to work hard to get political job my
son, and you have to work hard to hold
the other kind.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
PA, what is party loyaItyr' Hope OF
a good job.'-Judge
up again. eh for evading the law,
But didn't evade IT, your honor. Here
1 am.'-Washington Herald.
Peck isn't happy. His wife is contin-
ually saying sharp and snappy things to
him. why, he told me before he MAJ
ried her that was, was what he admired most
wit then."-Boston Transcript.
Referring to my last letter" he prompt
ly replied, you will find that / love You
Gevotedly In page one, madly on page
three, and passionately on pages four and
five. "-Washington Herald.
What is a political agitator7" asked
fHaa q In lie
parent, he is a man who expects every
body to be disconnected because he hasn't
managed to land the kind of a fob that
would exactly suit him."Nwashinston
Star.
Tom-You spend altogether too much
money on that girl. Don't you know girls
always accept everything a man gives
them az, and then marry the fellow who
the reason I'm blowing in mine.-Boston
Transcript
The Learned Professor-You know, Mrs.
Bloogs, it seems a shame to take yo,Ir
boy way from school at such an earIy
education until was 10. Mrs. BloorsC
Well, some children is quicker at pick5n.
up things than others.-Punch.
Harold. do you love me for mvselY
alone! For yourself alone. And that's
why OBJECT TO- ioaning your father money
tiferousness. Kansas City journal.
Johnnie-I wish / could be ror,,,,,,
Jones. Mother-Why? You are stronger
than he is, you have a better homa
more toys and more pocket money
Johnnie-Yes, 1 know; but he can wf1eis
his ears-Milwaukee Sentinel
Mrs. Muggins-I'm so worried about nv
husband, I'm afraid he isn't well Mrs
Buggins-What are the symptoms2 Mrs
Muggins-He hasn't complained about a
single thing for nearly a week-PhiI-
adelphia Record
Getting On--"Has Maud succeeded in
getting into society YETI mo. buf sbess