The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-16
WILSON, ANGERED
BY THEIR STUNTS.
QUITS CARABA0S

Continued From First PaScD
it should be sung after the November
elections OF year ago. as tho whole
Philippine policy of the government
has changed, this administration maxi
ing every effort to givc independence
to the Filipinos when they are ready
for it,"
Objectionable Features.
These are some or the features OBJ
jected To by the administration:
Early in the evening there sailed into
the banquet hall three battleships.
They were SiX-foot models. borne by
concealed boys. In the muzzlc of each
gun was stuck 81 noscgay. and on each
lighting top was the milk white dove.
The battlcships bore these names: L. :.
:. Fellowship. L. :. :. Friendship ana
L. :. :. Piic
TO none Of the Carabaos or guests
present was il necessary to explain
that allusion was being made to the
famous address by MIR Bryan on the
inetaphorical battieships which he said
would be symbols OF innocuous peace.
The entrance of these ships was
greeted by considerable dcmonstr:,-
ton. Carnbaos jumped TO their feet
and satrically chcercd the Dread
thoughts. particularly the L. :. :. pihlc.
While the ships sailed" around the
banquet hall the Marine Band. as usual.
playing at the Carabao dinner was
giving columbia, the Gem OF the
Ocean"
This was preceded by "D|n, an.
d--n the Insurrectos." 1t follows:
The attitude OF the President ana
Secretary of state Bryan was travestied
under a song. "lf Wilson Were Here
night"
The verse follows:
Now if Wilson were here tonight.
He'd give us a spiel thavs right.
On how TO preserve the arIny's gooG
name
How 10 play The Mexican game,
Eut wed ask him Il thing or two.
Policy that we should pursue.
And il he found il hard replying.
He'd ask William Jennings Bryan.
Who would sing him, Lad Kindly
Light"
In the closing number Of the pro-
Gram, Macon Volcano" member Of the
l'hiiippino assembly. arrived iu a 1914
model of a rhlippncmobilc The sup
positions Philippine as scu,blyman an
nounced that ne arrived N Washing
ton to see Hon. William Jenny Bryan
tn ask him 10 make some different kind
OF haste in obtaining for my people
their independence"
That honorable gentleman" CON
unued the speaker. thus FAR have
not been able TO nnd. and the assistant
says he would he back indefinitely"
Where ! ,inh him was the next
question inquired.
The honorable assistant he say.
Search me.
This seemed too Unnecessary. state
Department, the way my people under
stand is not responsible for lost ar
ticlcs
He tell me. howeverly. If you 10 TO
I { "a tan.
whereabouts.
$50 ! did
The honorable assistant doorkccpcr
make no intellectual reply to my oucs.
ton. but took forth a card printed full
of words. This is what read:
Mauch Chunk-Juicing the grape,
Hyamsville-Treaty Making with
one Hand
'AnnarolIs. lo:c5-eattlezhip. /
Have Met
Norfolk, 1Ol2-why need the
Money"
Heller Expresses Regret.
Or. Joseph NJ. Heller. secretary of
the Washington Corral of the Carabao
/ issued "a statement Tonight cXpressin..
the order' particularly those who had
TO do with Thursday nights dinner
that amy feature of the program had
given oncnse
The members of tho order feel sure. =
lor Heller said. that the high officials
I present at the dinner must have OBJ
! served the spirit in which things wcr.
done. and must realize us they were
/ Intended To realize. that therc WAS no
EFFORT TO reflect on any one or uron
anything.
Il am sure that officers OF the army
ana of the navy would be the last men
/ IN the world TO ridicule tho admins
! tration and even ii they were so IN
ciined a public banquet would never
nave been selected as the place for
such manifestations
The song. On. On, On the In
surrectos, was inspired fifteen years
ago. during the insurrcction in the
! islands, in the heat Of II vicious cam
paign. and amid hardships and priva-
lions, and il was sung by the first vol
untccrs that went TO the philippines
ana has been sung every year since
! AS the words indicate, the men wanted
/ Inc lhsurrection over, and to be re-
/ turned TO their own beloved homes
( AS ii stood originally, the song read:
/ Filipino instead OF Insurrccto' Three
/ years ago ii was recognized that con
ditions had changed. and so the word
/ ing of the song was altered so that
/ there would no longer be Il hing ut the
! Filipino.
The motion picture-'The Governor
and the Colonel'-wns first produced in
Manila in september. 1913, and sent
/ here for the Cardiac dinner. 1t sim
/ ply depicts the experience OF every
man that served in the Philippines in
! the early days, showing the difficult
/ ties and pcrplexities of running down
the willy and dangerous insurrcctos.
who used To be 50 prevalent. Other
/ features of the evening We're produced
/ entirely in Il spirit Of fun, and not in
( one of harmful ridicuie."
TPGT M NrnrhbNrII