davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Social Engagement Line.

A sweet young thing called to have
a telephone installed in her residence.
Independent or party line?" asked
the manager.
I'VE have a great many social OBJ
legations" simpered the sweet young
thing, so l think you can make 1t a
party line, even If it does cost little
more. Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
"Shorts. 4"

Shorts" according to Webster is
the bran and coarse parts of meal, in
mixture" In some sections of the
country bran is known as Shorts"
and in other places. middlings bears
that term.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Funny as a Crutch.

played a good joke on my fiancee."
How was that, old top?"
Had my chum meet her in the dark
hall and he got the kiss intended for
me. Good joke, Ell, what?"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Ir,nor,an, ~ Mo,bare
Sure Wealthy.

rs he rich?"
Il should say he is. He's got three
lawyers and four bookkeepers and sew
en- expert accountants figuring out
his income taX"-Detroit Free Press
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Didn't Want to BE bothered.

George, I wish you would bring
home the new book for table man
ners that saw advertised today"
Never. Do you want to rob me
of all me enjoyment my meals give
me?"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Fashions Slave.

Willie-Paw, what is a slave to
fashion?
Paw-A man who has a wife and
some grown daughters, my son.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18

The total amount of money respos-
ing on the oceans bottoms in the
shape of submarine cables is $780,
900, 900.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
Where He Won Out.

Have any luck on your hunting
trip?"
Yes; / missed three guides | shot
at for deer."-Detroit Free Press.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
A LEGACY.

"Blinks inherits his wit"
Yes, he writes the same jokes his
grandfather wrote"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18

The largest and highest cactus in
the world Is found in Arizona. 1t is
232 feet in height.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18

Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teethlng, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
uon.allays pain, cures wind collie ,25c bottle.lsg
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18

They stop the tickle-Dean's Mentho
lated Cough Drops stop coughs by stop
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18

Nearly all men are too lazy even to
think for themselves. Thinking is hard
work.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1913-12-18
PUTNAM FAD.

Color more goods brighter and faster coors than a
You can dye any garment without ripping apart.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

If you have an old lead dime.
Pass it on.
Do not fuss and waste good time,
Pass it on.
You may feel real mean, it's true,
But in just week or two,
1t will come right back to you.
Pass it on.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
If you have cure for grip,
Do not let your chances slip,
Pass it on.
Do not fear that you'll forget
The prescription that's your pet,
Twill drift back to you, you bet
Pass it on.
Denver Republican
If you have rhyme like this.
Pass it on.
Never mind how bum it is
Pass it on.
Some scribbler will glance through it,;
On copy paper glue it,
And add a worse one to it
Pass it on.
-Fairmant Times
If you have package large,
Pass it on.
Uncle Sam will take full charge,
Pass it on.
If ''Dull Care" you wish to send,
To the broad worlds other end
Pay full postage to your friend,
Pass it on,
-Clarksburg Exponent.
If you have pleasant smile,
Pass it on.
1t may cheer some heart the while,
Pass it on.
If a sorrow you possess,
Name it not as your distress
May some pain to others press
Pass it on.
Weston Republican
If you have a crouch on hand,
Pass it on.
Root it out, release, and
Pass it on.
Far as East is from the West,
Separate your old soreness:
Rid you of it, get some rest,
Pass it on.
-Ex
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
Files an Early Protest Against 1t.

Among the first protests against
the parcels post to arrive in Washing
ton, says the R. f. d. News, came
from Irvinton, Ga. A carrier trans
mits the following complaint:
Il seat myself with pen in hand to
write you few lines to let you know
that you have played the devil with
me. 1 am a star route mail carrier
from McIntire to IrEinton and took
the contract to carry the mail three
times day, distance of three and
one-half miles, for S519 year. At
that time the express company was
doing a pretty good business ana I
got ten cents for each express and ten
cents and a drink for every jug.
"YOu fixed the law so I could not
carry the jug, and now you have fixed
up thing called the 'possum post
and the express companies don't
handle any more small packages, nor
do l handle any more dimes.
"When I made this contract I
could carry the mail in cart and
Texas pony and haul the express on
the side; now the express has shrunk
and this 'possum post business has
swelled, so have to get mule and
a wagon. "-Ex.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
One Vote Makes History.

A correspondent of the Richmond
Virginian relates a story of how a
squealing pig, caught in fence on
Rhode Island farm, brought on the
war of 1872, elected Andrew Jackson
president and destroyed the Bank of
the United States. The pig delayed
Wing voter and prevented him
from reaching the polls in time to
vote. The result was the election of
Democratic legislature by major
ity of one vote, Democratic Senator
from Rhode Island by one vote, de-
claration of war with Great Britain
by one vo e, the war resulting eventu-
ally in Jackson's election as president
-Ex
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
Rattlesnakes and copperheads Only
Poisonous Snakes in Kansas.

The timber rattler, the prairie
rattler, and the copperhead are the
only poisonous snakes in Kansas.
Some persons would include the
cotton mouth moccasin, but those
who are best informed believe that
the moccasin is not found in this state
The prairie and timber rat6lers are
named from their habitat. The tim
Der snake is the larger of the two,
but one is as bad as the other in re-
spect to poison. The copperhead is
venomous, too. 1t gives no warning
as does the rattle snake and conSe-
quently, it bites oftener.
All the other snakes, of Kansas are
harmless DR.. r. K. Nabours, pro-
fessor of zoology at the Kansas Agri-
cultural college says ''other than the
three named, the bite of Kansas
snakes is as harmless as the prick of
a pin. The spreading viper which
fiattens out its head in such an ugly
way and makes kissing noises would
not hurt anyone. 1t is harmless.
There are many other kinds that are
innocent of injuring one by their
bite. Among them are the garter
snakes, bull snakes, blue racers, and
black snakes. They all do some good
by catching insects, but their preying
on birds and fowls do more damage
than their good deeds are worth.
A queer snake of this state is the
glass snake. 1t is sometimes called
the joint snake, but in reality it is
not a snake at all-it is a lppleSS lizard
More than one-half of it's length is
tail, and it is attacked or caught by
the tail, it walks off leaving the tail
in the hands of the enemy as kind
of agold brick, and then grows anotha
er in the place of 1.-THE Kansas In
duStraliSt.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

the unnecessary help around
some of these institutions will
try hard to show the committee
where some of the leaks are and
there are plenty of them. I ex-
pect we will have to visit most of
the institutions so as to find out
just how to act in regard to them
as there is no doubt but what we
can cut down some of these ex-
penses.
Today was the day to elect
United States senator and at
noon the election took place
Stubbs got three votes, Allen
one, Thompson got the rest of
the House votes. And yet they
talk about the legality of Thomp-
sons election: even very prom
nent Democrat said it was not
legal, but l hope they won't start
anything. Let them have it all,
it belongs to them, it would do
US no good to start anything.
We slipped one over them in
the start on the postage, they
still chew it over in the House
almost every day as they tried
to get fifty dollars apiece and we
got busy and won out. but in the
afternoon they reconsidered the
vote and amended the bill and
won out against US, but they
don't get any telegraph or tele-
phohe money.
1 9on Jaw Brown, the speaker,
seems to have the confidence of
the House as to being fair and I
think he is fair in his rulings
and he has done US right on com
mittee appoin tments.
Well, I hope this will reach
you in time. Yours,
0. l.. Cook.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

For years j. S. Donahue, South Ha-
ven, Mich, civil war captain, as a
lighthouse keeper, averted awful
wrecks, but a queer fact is, he might
have been a wreck himself, if Elec-
trio Bitters had not prevented.
''They cured me of kidney trouble
taken other so-called cures for years,
without benefit and they also improv-
ed my sight Now, at seventy, / am
feeling fine" For dyspepsia, indi
gestion, all stomach, kidney and liver
troubles, they're without equal Try
them. Only SOC at Gibson n's.-Adv.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

Mrs A R. Tabor. of Crider, Mo-,
had been troubled with sick head
ache for about five years, when she
began taking Cham be rIain's Tablets.
She has taken two bottles of them
and they have cured her. Sick head
ache is caused by disord cred stom-
pecially intended. Try them, get
well and stay well. Sod by all deal
erS.-Adv.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
Do Not Understand it's Purpose.

Rural route patrons up in Vermont
and elsewhere are accused of a woeful
want of understanding relative to
parcels post. They attach calico
samples to notes asking carriers to
bring them SO many yards; also a
-mop-wringer, etc, etc, all to be paid
for when brought. Another wanted
some patent medicine and five lengths
of stove-pipe brought the same way.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

Topeka, Kan, Jan. %, 1918.
Editor World:
I was sorry my last communi-
cation was received too late for
publication as I mailed it on
Wednesday night. Well, we have
had some lively times since 1
wrote you last. I am on some
five committees and chairman of
one. / am on a committee to
smell around and find out some
of the leaks of the last two years,
will try to look into the Larned
affair and see if they had a right
to squander the peoples money
as they have been doing, and to
see if there is no way to stop it,
and see if we can't stop some of
the gratis that now exist; as I
am making out a list of some of
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
knows it all

knows it all
Cheer up, dear friends, for Wat
son is still left.
This little lay is unpoetical we
know
But is unstolen and original
through and through
Our satisfaction is great and we
have pleased feeling in our
pate
Because every word of it is true.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
LEGISLATIVE NEWS.


Editor World:
As this is my second week of
legislature | will write you again.
Well. I suppose you see by the
Papers, just what we are doing.
They killed my bill in the com
mittee asking a rebate on the
taxes on the horses that died of
the epidemic, but I got busy to-
day and went after them and
brought it up again. If get it
up in the house 1 will thresh it
out, but the fellows here in the
eastern part of the state will
fight it but 1 will make a hard
fight for it as I think it right,
only for this one year but no
longer.
We are in a great fight over
the marriage bill, it will come up
tomorrow for debate, this for
bids the whites and colored peo-
pie from marrying; it is only
stepping stone to the jim crow
law. Every Democrat is in favor
of it and every Republican is
against it, it will be hard fight
as party lines are drawn and
drawn tight. | expect to get in
on this for the reason that if this
law passes they will start some
thing else some time sooner or
later and we will try to nip it in
the bud
Now, | want my people at
home to let me know what they
want and [ will try to get it for
them, they can send me a bill
and | will get it before the house
and fight for what my people
want, but the best thing to do is
to repeal about one-half of the
laws we have as there are some
we do not need
You would be surprised at
some bills that are in here and I
am on some four or five COM
mitteeS, we got through with
one on mileage, and one good old
Democrat brother wanted about
25O more miles than was due
him and another Democrat want
ed 100 more miles than was. due
him, and you know what 1 think
of that kind of work, and they
talk of coming in the house with
it. | only hope they will for I
want chance at them as you
know the holler they have always
made
Iron Jaw Brown is making US
a good speaker and he is fair, is
giving US more of the commit
tees than we expected and when
we want an explanation on any
matter he is always willing to1
give US advice. We all get along
nicely only when we take a vote
then friendship ceases.
Now, l will say once more to
the people of our county not to
be afraid to ask me if there is
anything they think they need
let me know Don't wait until
the pie is all gone and then ask
for a piece.
Well. will try and keep the
readers of the World posted as
to what is going on here
Kind regards to all.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

If your children are subject to at
tacks of Group, watch the first symp-
tom, hoarseness. Give Chamberlain'S
Cough Remedy as soon as the child
becomes hoarse and the attack may
be warded of. For sale by all deal
ers.-Ady-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01

Persons troubled with partial par
alysis are often very much benefited
by massaging the effected parts thor
oughly when applying Chamberlain's
Liniment. This liniment also re-
lieves rheumatic pains. For sale by
all dealerS.-Ady.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1913-02-01
A WORD IN CLOSING

There are two kinds of lies,
harmless, and vicious, and the
editor of the Reporter is just a
sort of a gay deceiver one of the
poetical kind our readers will
note. Berwick can steaxcolumn
after column of editorial matter
as well as shorter articles and
never credit one of them without
blinking an eye. Berwick has
never written a genuine editorial
since he has been in 'Keeney
and mighty few locals are his
own get up, but if he can steal a
nice little article and pass it off
as his own what's the odds half
the people don't know it and the
other half don't care, but straws
show the way the wind blows.
Its true we bought coal and
it's also absolutely true that we
have not received all the money
back that we spent for it not
withstanding the jaunty little
squib which appeared last week
The signature of William Wal
lace Gibson in an article need not
deceive any one regarding the
Fair transaction. Gibson had
no chips in this game and would
perhaps have done better to stay
out of it, for Berwick told us
with his own lips that he was
not spending his time and work
ing as hard as he did just for
glory. He asked US this very
pertinent question: How does
anybody know how many tickets
are handled, rehandled and lost
out there?" I'm not in this for
my health" he very humorously
stated. Our readers may draw
their own cor clusions. When
brother Berwick infers the
World is not honest all we ask
is that he keeps an eye on his
own dooryard s--=5'-s--z s'''-- -
Next week there will be no
article concerning this matter.
This issue closes it and we real
iZe to a certain extent we have
attached more Importance to the
affair than is due to a man of his
caliber Notwithstanding his sig
nature is the most desired one of
any other person except Con-
gressman Connolly in this dis
trict, and as we are busy man
we will neither give time nor
space to further controversy no
matter what appears in the
other paper.
To THE BIGGEST GUN IN TOWN
Times scroll has a list of famous
names,
They hit so hard they touch
the quick,
But not one is so great, so won
derful, so grand
AS the meteor that has lately
hit
In the shape of S. Watson Ber-
wick
He knows the ins and outs of
politics
He sure is onto the ropes,
Can name the next postmaster,
Has the power to do it which
is no joke.
The new council is elected
Next years Fair is planned
The moon and stars in their
stately orbits obey his com
mand.
Our town was on the bum,
Our business dead,
Our schools and politics were
lame,
But POUNDS. how it all changed
Just because Watson came.
He tocts his horn from morn till
night
He blows and brags with might
and main,
Till his faithful followers are
fnrood fo stool o-or
Bisbee daily review., 1913-11-28
STOLE BRIDES WEDDING GOWN
Late Husband Appropriates Irousseau for New We'd ding-Woman Feared Per sonal Violence

Stealing her wedding dress from his divorced wife landed Herman Miller in the grip of the law. He was tr;ed last night before Judge High, who took tie case under adyisemsnt until tomorrow at 1 D. Tn.
 The facts brought out at the trial were that Mrs. Miller secured q di. yorce from her husband several weeks ago and thereafter became engaged to marry another. Mir. Miller, how ever. persisted in attentions and en- deavCrs to regain her affections. She persisted in refusing to listen to bls his wooing. although she granted him several interviews at her home in DubacEer canyon. The last one was on Tuesday night, when Miller called and asked to see her new w=d- ding dress.
 He was shown the dress and made a series of remarks thereon. When he left he said significantly "i shall re- turn" Mrs. Miller gathered that he intended to come back to do her in- jury and in fear she left the house and went to a neighbours fer the night.
 Shortly after midnight Miller ap- rsared at the front door of the neigh. .ors and demanded to see Mrs. Nil. Ter. She refused to see him, He then stated that he had her new wedding dress and unless she saw him he would destroy the dress. Mrs. Miller concluded that she preferred losing
 the tress to taking a chance on heI iEe, and remained in deors.
 In the morning whsn she returned to her home siie found Miller had re l moved the dress from her trunk. Sht then swore to a complaint before ' Judge High Tie warrant was turne, over to Deputy Sherin Cannon, wh' l arrested Miller on Tuesday.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-11-28
BREAK SPEED RECORD
 OA MOTORDOME TRACK

Eagles declared last night that they had a great Thanksgiving day at the Lowell carnival which they are con ducting. Many of the hundreds who attended the show grounds in the afternoon and night joined heartily in declaring the occasion great sue cess. No similar event has had as many boosters about the district as has this.
 Cn the motordome track new rec ord was established, when speed of a little better than loo miles the hour was attained by one of the three pro fsssional riders engaged in circling the so degree saucer track. The latter vas open yesterday to local riders, 1at none appeared.
 Atten5ance has grown each day since the opening and the Eagles are highly pleased with the success they are attaining, Of the shows they cannot speak too highly.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-11-28
INSPECTION OF NURSERY
 STOCK Is COMPULSORY

Press circular No. F, issued by the Arizona Commission of Agriculture and Horticulture, contains the require ments concerning nursery stock ship ped into the State of Arizona, as fol- lows: ,-.. sgt
 Tn ordering nursery stock from out side the state it is very important that the purchaser inform the nursery man concerning Arizonas require ments. While comparatively little in tested and diseased stock is now shipped into this state it should not be taken for granted that every nur- serrman in the country i5 informed concerning tue provisions of our Ia" and quarantine orders. For the infor- nation of all interested this brief anl concise statement has been prepared Nursery stock shipped into tue state must be prominently labeled with the name and the address of both the shipper and the consignee, and must be accompanied by a valid certificate of inspection or copy of such certificate by duly authorized inspection official.
 Shipments into the state consisting cf or containing plants no' grown in fhe locality from which shipment was made, must, in addition, specify where such plants were grown.
 ] State quarantine orders of inter est to nurserymen prohibit t1) The | importation of stock from sections in tested by the alfalfa weevil; @ the 1 importation of citrus, privets, cape iessamine and rubber trees and plants from North and South Carolina and all states bordering on the Gulf ot l Mexico; (3) rooted grape vines iron north of the north line of San Der | nardino, Kern and San Luis Obisps
 counties, California. except from IT. ! lare and Ffesao counties
 All shipments of living plants int;
 the State of Arizona are inspected D,
 Arizona state inspectors and not de | livered until a certificate of releas' is Issued in eaeii case. to the common
 carrier and 10 the consignee.
 If trees or plants are infested O
 infected with insect pests plant dis ! eases of general occurrent in the sec
Bisbee daily review., 1913-11-28
FdmunG J. James.

Pres ent Edmund J. James of tE' Unfver- ly of Illinois has begun woE. 9a a bill to te introduced at the regular session of congress prov ing for the establishment 7t C-o federal university at W77h!nEia is planned Co he on th- oTdcT
 UriivcrSi=ies of Pas -7
Bisbee daily review., 1913-11-28
THEY COME HERE
 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

While tn Eagles have a carnival on. at Lowell a. in the event of the improved weather they are hoping fer will draw great crowds, they have not forgotten that they have a splendid mus.cal attraetion clning to the Or, pheum the nights of December l and under their auspices, and are mak ing good endeayors to bring about a large attendance of those appreciative of really fine musical talent Of By, rons TToubad1urs the coming attrac- tloH, George A. Meffan, secretary of the Chamber os Commerce of Nampa, Idaho writes as follows,
 I am pleased to state that Byron's Troubadours gave a most pleasing en- tertai IT nnt in Nampa, under the aus. pice- f this organization. Each mem ber (. tLc --' Ige was Q gentleman whie in cur COZ mUnity, their appear. ance attractiS ?, ard during their per formaRce Cs-h E.oysd Gn artist in music. T.ey playC- to a packed house. and several hundred people were turned away. Those Ef0 rare fortunate enough to gain adm-4--cc to, the theater were delighted with the musical treat, and the most We can say in their favor is that we will be more pleased to have them with Us again at as early date as possible.