The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-19
ON TIE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
According to Uncle Abner.
BIZ ROY K. MOULTON.

According to Uncle Abner.
Anse Frisby says he doesn't fell strong
enough to go to summer resort this
year. He is going to stay home, where
We never saw a travelling man who
pinned much faiths1n corn beef hash.
A Teller who has got a manageable
daughter and doesn't buy a porch swing
is guilty of a serious oversight.
who don't save their bum nickels and
plugged quarters for the street car con-
ductor, but if so, we never knew one of
Lem Purdy says he would soon be
run over and killed t as 10 be scared TO TO
It is gettin' so that employees of the
guy ment have to get down to work Whel
the whistle blows.
1 never see a time when the corn was
tall enough exeeptin' %hep 1t was st too p tan H.
unhappy without buyin' a motorboat;.
Miss Amy Pringle. our village millinsr.
fall styles now. but not very many wom-
en- are falling for EN-.
to have no idee of the fitness of things.
He is having the springhalt now, away
a3ng now IN tine mn se in 81 TRIM rn to- pound
any sense into a Teller that parts his hair
in tie middle and carries a cane during
Miss Pansy Tibbitts went to a finishing
school 1t proved to be her dads finish
Lem Hicks says it takes lot of sand
fer Teller to make success In business
these days, and Lem Is rISns; proT h,,si
the business is the mouse Pids'e1h JUST
ness.
The Diary OF a Bonehead.
Being a sanitarian and a thorough
believer in the swat, 1 offered my
children / cent piece for all of the
dead flies they brought me. That was
early in the season and If the sum-
mer does not hasten to conclusion
there will be a large sized plaster on
nv house and lot.
T bought my four children some of
those cut little wire screen contrap-
tions with a handle on the END with
which to spank the flies.
7 had to be away a week early in
the fy campaign and when / returned
7 found a $50 imitation mahogany china
cabinet lying in ruins, cheval glass
shattered, the glass front of the book
case looking like a greenhouse just af-
ter a hen's-egg hail storm and three
vases and two jardiniers gone to re-
turn no more.
Child No. 1 brought me a fruit jar
containing 3,467 flies, according to his
own count, which 1 accepted as final
not being DESTROYS of counting dead
flies the remainder of my life.
Child No. 2 brought two-quart pail
full of flies. which he had counted over
several times and found to total exact
ly 1929
Child No had 1892 dead flies in
an old mustard pot and child No.
proudly exhibited 6573, which he kept
in an empty flour sack. He said he
had hoped to fill the sack but 1 came
home too soon.
1t dawned upon me gradually that
I had made the bounty too large and
there seemed no technicality under
which 1 could escape.
Out in the shed, 1 found about so
discarded pieces of sticky fly paper
which had been picked clean of flies
and the mystery of the marvellous
swatting by my children was explain
ed. I settled with them at so cents
on the dollar
But. why the broken furniture?" l
asked the youngest
THAT was only stage business he
replied, Ito make you think that we
had done some swatting.''
1t does not look to me as though any
of my children will die in the poor
house, although the old man may.