davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
LEFT THE ATTORNEY SMILING
Probably Judge, With a Little Thought,
Would Have Expressed Himself
In Somewhat Different Manner.


There was at one time in Georgia a
Judge who had many duties beside his
legal ones to perform. but who never
for a moment forgot that he EN-
bodied the law" under any and all cir
cumstances.
On one occasion he was called upon
to act as auctioneer to dispose of
some merchandise left by a dry goods
merchant who had died some time be-
fore.
During the auction one Of the bid
ders created a disturbance. and finally
the exasperated auctioneer. assuming
his character as Judge, fined the man
SEQ. and sent him to jail for contempt
of court.
An attorney made an application to
remit the fine and release the prisoner,
on the grounds that there had been
no contempt of court. He maintained
that the judge when acting as auc.
toner was not a court, and therefore
was not liable to contempt.
The judge heard this application
presented with rising wrath, and as
Stunning all the dignity which he pos,
sessed, he glared fercely down upon
tie diminutive attorney.
Sir" said he, in stentorian tones
Il would have you know that ! am
judge of this place under any and all
circumstances; l am judge all the
time, sir, from the rising of the sun
to the going down of the same! And
as SUCH" shaking a forefinger at the
attorney, "as such, let me tell you
sir, that l am always and everywhere
an object of contempt."-Nationa
Monthly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

or other phosphate fertilizers with
wheat is advisable, since most Mis-
souri, soils are lacking in available
phosphates. Steam bonemealS should
be used and an application Of 1875 to
$50 pounds, made with a fertilizer
drill, as the wheat is sown.
On the lands that have been worn
by continued cropping the use of a
complete fertilizer containing 8 to 4
per cent nitrogen, 8 to 10 per cent
available phosphoric acid and 3 to A
per cent potash, applied at the rate
of 1875 to $50 pounds to the acre, is
coed. Another fertilizer that will
hiring good returns or these thin lands
is one containing around 2 per cent
nitrogen, 5 to 10 per cent available
p~hosphoric acid and 2 to 8 per cent
potash.
This is a lower grade fertilizer than
the first one mentioned and should be
used at a little heavier rate, say from
$50 to 200 pounds per acre. These
fertilizers will not only increase the
yield of the wheat crop, but will aid
materially in getting a stand of grass
where these crops follow the wheat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
NOT PART OF GIRLS DOVER
information That Probably Did Much
to Check In~fatuation of Love-
sick Youth.

Young Tom Toote was spending a
holiday in the country, and had been
invited to the beautiful home Of a
sweet young thing named Agnes.
What a charming place!" he said
enthusiastically to Agnes proud pa
ternal parent. Does it go as far as
those woods over there?"
ut does" remarked the somewhat
unsympathetic P. P. P.
"Ah," said Tom, still cheerily, land
to that old stone wall over there,
sir?"
1T does" came the gruff answer;
"and it goes as far as the river on the
south, and to the main road on the
north"
Beautiful" put in Tom.
"Yes," went on the old man; but
it doesn't go with Aggie!"
Then Tom faded peacefully from
view.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
~Rockino-Chair Siuns,

An observant Atchison woman says
she can tell from the way a woman
rocks on her front porch what condi-
ton the house behind her is in. If she
sways back and forth with a foppy,
comfortable motion, pumping both
feet down in a relaxed sort of way,
then everything about the house is
absolutely clean and neat. But If she
rocks in little jerks, tapping
her feet down at short and irregular
intervals, it signifies that there are
unmade beds behind her and stacks of
unwashed dishes and dusty fioors.-
Atchison Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Plan.

1t was in a suburban town and the
good minister had taken his class of
boys On a little picnic out in the
woods.
Each was supplied with a basket of
fruit and sandwiches, and as they sat
down in a picturesque spot to appease
their sharpened appetites, the minis
ter asked:
Now, boys, what is the best and
most appropriate time to thank the
Lord?"
The boys looked at each other in
silent questioning.
What does your father do when he
sits down to his meals?"
One of the lads, a little ~red-haired
chap, promptly answered:
"Cuss the cook"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Ignorant of His Own Lanousoe.

The Boston Americans we're playing
the Nationals in the Bean City one aft
ernoon. iris Speaker knocked out a
long fly that fell between right field
and center.
Danny Moeller, the speedy right
fielder of the Nationals, went after it,
crying out for the guidance of Milan
in center:
81 have it! / have It'll"
AS oon as Moeller had caught the
fly, a Disguised Boston fan remarked:
THAT guy don't even know his OWE
language. What he should have said
Is: I've got it, l suppose he's some
gink that's trying to make out he's
been to college"
AS a matter of fact Moeller not~only
went to college, but graduated.-Pop-
ular Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Flashlights.

1t takes about a week for a girls left
arm to get used to carrying an en-
gagement ring.
Hard work is the best pavement you
can lay for luck to get to your doors.
About the best thing that can hap
pen to some men is to have their
wives carry the family p~ocketbook.
It's tough to be broke right after
a vacation, but it's tougher still to be
broke just before one.
And here we are at the eighteenth
hole, as the golfers say.-Detroit Free
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
orlaln Of Present.pay Games.

Though we get our games OF tennis
from the eastern countries, most of
games OF bat and ball come down
TO us from the ancient north, Ring
games and games in which light OBJ
jects r thrown come also from for
est countries. where the spear was a
familiar weapon. But all of them alike
appear to revert in origin to early ex-
periences OF the race by which they
worked out their salvation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
IS MEDIEVAL CITY.
Architecture in Danzig Is of the
Middle Ages.
West Prusslan Town Is a Perfec;
Architectural Type of Ancient
Period and Its Newest Buildings
Conform 10 This Character.

Berlin.-Danzig, West Prussia, is the
perfect architectural type of a me-
dieval city, showing a historic integrity
with which the stormy fates of many
centuries have dealt most kindly. Even
its newest buildings are made to con
form to this character SO as not to dis
turb the impression Of unity. One feels
the pride which these energetic and
prosperous burghers of the thirteenth
and fourteenth century had in all the
appointments and arrangements of
their famous town.
We hear of it first In 997, when a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Cuckoo Reformation.

A remarkable case Of reformation
on the part of two old cuckoos is re-
ported by Col. A. M. Blake from his
estate at Welwyn, Herts, England.
The colonel states that he found
two young cuckoos with the parent
birds in faithful attendance. AS is
generally known, the regular habit of
the cuckoo is to lay its eggs in the
nests Of other birds, leaving the rear
ing Of their offspring to perfect
strangers.
This is said to be the third success
sive year that cuckoos have brought
up their young at Welwyn.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
INCREASING WHEAT YIELD
PREPARING SEEDED so AS TIC
INCREASE YIELD IN MISSOURI.
by C. 3. Hutchinson, Assistant Pro-
lesser Of Asronomy, Univer-
sity of Missouri.

The average yield Of wheat in Mis-
Gouri for the past. te nyears has been
about 1877 bushels per acre. 1t re-
quires approximately Is bushels of
wheat at the average November price
for the last decade to meet this ex-
pense, together with that of taxes,
interest on the investment and the
value of plant food removed from the
land.
This evidently e that there are
q great many farmers in the state
who are actually growing wheat at a
loss. OF course, there are sections
where wheat is especially adapted,
where much better yields than these
are obtained, but at the same time
there are many farms where the yield
Of wheat is not what it should be,
and where its growing has not been
very profitable.
1t is, of course, realized by many
farmers that the wheat crop, as they
grow 1t, is not in itself a very profit
able one. but it fits into the rotation
SO wei and is Of such Importance as
q nurse crop for grass and clover that
1t is often grown for these reasons.
There Is no reason why wheat
should not be made a profitable crop
in practically every section Of this
state, and close attention to those
factors controlling the profitable pro.
duction Of the crop will aid materially
in increasing it's value and Importance
throughout the state. It is to some of
these factors that the readers atten.
ton is directed at this time.
Preparation Of the Seeded.
Wheat ground should be plowed
early ana fairly deep. Where the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

ments show that there is no one va
riety Of wheat that is universally
adapted to all soils, nor even to the
same soil for all seasons. 1t is evil
dent from the results of these expert.
ments, however, that certain varieties
are very superior to others where
averages are considered. And there
is nc doubt that If farmers we're care
full to use only pure strains of some
n or another of these better yarie-
ties the average yield of the state
would be greatly increased without
modifying the other methods of han
ding the wheat crop.
Unfortunately, the varieties which
average highest are not all available
in this state and cannot always be Sc
cured. Among the best varieties of
the bearded wheats are: (1) Deitz,
(2) Rudy, ~ Mediterranean, "a Full
caster and 80 Lebanon; and Of the
smooth wheats "a Michigan Wonder,
(2) Jones Red Wave, CD Hickman,
a. Beechwood, 60 Hybrid, CO. Daw-
sons Golden Chat, "a Early Ripe,
(S) Poole and (9) Fultz.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

In every age a test Of religion has
been its power to call out sacrifice,
The great temples Of the past could
be built only by indlvidaul ~self-sacri-
fee. The direction Of self-denial must
be towards the nobIest and most I'm
selfish ends. putting the good OF 9th.
ers In the place OF acknowledgement.
The Christian Register.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

In the rudiments of a sound educa.
ton the Finnish people are unsurpass-
ed. Practically every man and woman
in the country has a working knowl,
edge OF reading, writing, and arith.
metic. and every child of school age
receives careful instruction In these
studies Every adult has a vote, and
although SO per cent of the inhabi-
tants are women there are only II Of
their sex In the Finnish diet.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
largest Black Diamond.

Do you know that the largest black
diamond in the world was discovered
In Brazil In 1895? 1t weighed 3,O7s
karats, and was discovered in the
marsh de Lama" neal the town Of
Lencoes, In the state of Bahia, by one
OF those searchers called here "garim-
perios." The name of this lucky fell
low was Sergio Borges de Carvalho.
and he sold his find to an agent
named Jose Bezerra de Cerquira for
100000 francs (about s47,BOOl.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Why He Loved Her.

Eyes, young man, l know you!
You've been in love with my daugh-
ter ever since you discovered that she
was an heiress."
But, my dear sir, you wouldn't have
me marry a poor girl, would you?
Why, l can't even support myself
Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
SUFFERED
AWFUL PAINS
For Sixteen Years. Restored
To Health by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound.
Moretown. Vermont. -"I was trou.
bled with pains and irregularities for

sixteen years, and
was thin, weak and
nervous. When I
would lie down it
would e as if l
was going right
down out of sight
into some dark hole,
and the window cur
tains had faces that
would peek out at
me, and when | was
ont of doors IL would
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Wheat responds to an application
of fertilizer more freely than any
other field crop grown in Missouri.
In general, it responds host striking
ly to the application of nitrogen and
phosphorus, and fertilizers Of this ma
ture nearly always give good returns.
The results secured on the univer-
sity experiment fields in various parts
of the state show that on the average
to good uplands the use of bonemeal
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Resuue In Confusion.

Il suppose that by this time your
constituents fully understand your po-
sition?" :
NO" replied Senator Sorghum, but
I think I have explained 1t at sufh-
cient length to prevent them from
making any further attempts to com
prehend H"-Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

crop is to follow oats, rye or any 9TH
er crop removed by the middle Of
July, the ground should be plowed as
soon as the previous crop has been
taken off. Early blowing conserves
the moisture by keeping a loosened
layer of soil on top to act as a mulch.
This means that there will not only
be mor moisture there to terminate
the kernels and to start the plants off
in the fall, but early blowing fol-
lowed by frequent working with the
disc or drag harrow will help set free
plant food and conditions will be more
favorable for rapid termination ard
growth Of the wheat.
A few years ago, In an experiment
conducted by the Kansas station,
e~arly-plowed land gave much better
results than that plowed late. Similar
results were secured by the Okla
homa experiment station. While it is
perhaps not 81 important that wheat
land be plowed as early in Missouri as
in other states, yet early blowing is
to be recommended in practically all
cases.
The depth of blowing depends large
ly upon the soil and upon the time. On
deep soils land for what is best
plowed deep, providing the blowing
be done early enough for the proper
preparation of the seeded. An ideal
seeded for wheat is one which has
been stirred deep, well-compacted be-
low and with a loose layer Of soil on
top. It takes considerable time to
work the ground down in good shape,
and this is another reason why the
land should be plowed early.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

The Dentist-Let me see! I'll have
to treat four ~teeth-eight teeth
eighteen teeth f.
Mr., Pildo-Hold on! Four teeth,
eight teeth, eighteen teeth! What do
you think l ana comb?-London
Answers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
PnIlcies.

Have you outlined your policy to
your constituents"
NO" replied Senator Sorghum; Il
am still looking over the policies my
constituents have outlined to me, try
ing to decide on which l had better
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

An insect much resembling the
June bug, and found In great quaint.
ties in the high plains about Quito,
the capital Of Ecuador is toasted and
eaten as a delicacy by the natives Of
that country. They are sold In the
streets in the same manner as are
chestnuta In the cities OF this coun-
try. The roasted bugs taste very
much like toasted bread.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

seem as if something was going to hap
pen. My blood was poor, my circula-
ton was so bad I would be like a dead
person at times. ! had female weak
ness badly, my abdomen was sore and I
had awful pains.
81 took Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound and used the Sanative
Wash and they certainly did wonders
for me. My troubles disappeared and I
am able to work hard every day. Mrs.
W. F. SAWYER, River View Farm, More
town, Vermont.
Another Case.
Clifford, Iowa.-"I was troubled with
female weakness, also with displace-
ment. I had very severe and steady
headache, also pain in back and was
very thin and tired all the time. Icom-
menced taking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and 7 am cured Of
these troubles. I cannot praise your
medicine too highly. Mrs. INA MILL
sLAGLE, Clifford, Iowa.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Another factor which controls the
yield of the wheat crop is the seed,
and only good seed of some variety
best suited to ones locality should be
used.
The experiment station has been
testing wheat varieties for a number
of years, both at Columbia and by
means of cooperative experiments
throughout the state. These expert
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Everything she had went at auc-
ton"
Public sale?"
mo; bridge."-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Foley Kidney Pills Succeed

because they are a good honest med
icine that cannot help but heal kid
neyandbladderai ailments and urinary
Irregularities, if they are once taken
into the system. Try them now
for positive and permanent help.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Fiaah..

All the riding hard, shooting true
and dying same-poor ethics Of the
o~pen--had not brought d crufnb, not
a crumb, Of the real bread Of life.-
win Lexington Comfort.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
PUTTING II Mildly.

Tom-Did you say your friend Is
slender?
Tab-Well, she returned a silhou-
cite gown because she couldn't make
a shadow in it.-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Ills Reason,

Don't take notice of the cook
dear"
Il have to. She's just given it."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Paris lille Dautrln, writing in n
caro-. warns French young women to
watch their young men eat. warning
them that this is the best test OF the
male character.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Everything ReIatiye

Madge-This summer seems to be
much cooler than last.
Marjorie-Yns must remember.
dear. that you're not wearing 80 many
clothes-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

"Our apothecary is a poet"
why shouldn't he be? Isn't poetry
a drug in the market?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

"Of course these pies are not like
mot a bit, dear. Poor mother new
the ones your mother used to make"
er could make pies fit to eat"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

One American telephone company
has I've 14,e10.0O0 miles of wire ia
use. That would be enough to male
about Sc single wire lines to lie
noon from the earth.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

It is better to profit by your own
strength than by the weakness of
others.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
The Reason.

Why are some people SO afraid OF
the opinion of posterity?'
Because posterity belongs to the
class of people always after U.S."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Not on His List,

do you W your downfall to De-
mon rum?" asked the prison visitor.
Il never heard of the brand" re-
piled the convict.-Buffalo Express.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

In case you fail to put your best foot
onward when you have q chance you
nay feel like using it to kick yourself
later.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

better pair to draw to than folly and
wisdom.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
t%eething, softens the gums, reduces infamma.
ton, allays pain, cures wind colic,2 5c a bottle. Adv
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

A nan can usually get what he
wants II he Is highly recommended
by q bank account.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

Most Of a mans illusions come out
with bis hair.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Sure Sinn.

Knicker-Baby seems l%eft-handed.
Mrs. Knicker-Heavens, she must
be engaged to somebody already.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

It isn't recorded that the Lord loveth
a cheerful giver Of advice.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Whenever YOU NEED
A GENERAL TONIC TAKE GROVES
The Old Standard Groves Tasteless chill Toni. is Equally
Valuable as a General Tonic because 1t Acts on the Liver,
Drives OCT Malaria, Enriches the Blood and Builds up
the Whole System. For Grown People and Children.

You know what you are taking whsn you take Groves TaSeiess chill Tonic
as the formula is printed on every label showing tat it contains the well known
tonic properties of QUNINE and IRON. 1t is as strong as tbs strongest bitter
tonic and is in TaHIes Form 1t has nc equal for Malaria, Chns and Fever,
Weakness, general debility and loss of appetite Gives life and vi or to Nursing
Mothers and Pale, Sihy Children Removes Bliousnes without Pmging
Relieves nervous depression and low. spirits Aroues the liver to act n and
punfes the blood. A True Tonic and surea app tier A Complete Strengthened
No family should be without it. Guaranteed by your Druggist We m an it. SOC
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
Difference of onlninn.

Il like to.see a young fellow settling
down"
Il would rather see him settling up"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

COLONIZING fertile Arkansas lands in .
hcalthfui country, well drained, near good
mkt, S25. Some excellent Investments, Agts,
wanted. Southern Land Co., Helena, Ark.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11
The Seeding Of Wheat
Correctly Proportional Fertilizers and Good Seed
Are important Factors in Increasing the Yield
The Use of Good Seed.

By c B HuNhsOn- Assistant Professor of AsponomS College of Agriculture U. of Mo
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

5000 ACRES good farming land in flow ng Arte~
sian belt, Sl4.5B per acre. Will sell in SJ-aGre tracts.
X. r, RASMUSSEN, owner, AL Moore bldg, San Antonio, Tsh4
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN wishing TO join
reliable Post Gard Club, are cordially invited to
address GERMAN REALTY CO., Goo EAsT0s, ST. LOUIS.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-09-11

MAKING YES! We'll l. Of gra1qlated lids
curing Gallstones, Piles, Ftstula, Appendicitis
Rupture, without cutting guaranteed. Only mfr
mary here exclusively for eyes and chronic diseases
Allen Eye lnnrmary 4 sanitarium, 1850 Taft Ave. st, Louis, na4