The San Francisco call., 1913-09-16
The
Manicure
Lady
Rv WILLIAM F. KIRK


HAD a scrap with the servant
this morning" said the Mani
: cure Lady. Il try to be nice
and calm. usually. George. but that
new servant Of mine has sure got my
goat I can't see why mother keeps
her. but mother is getting along in
years. and I hate to do anything TO
cross her"
What's the matter with the ser
vant?" asked the Head Barber.
~Oh. she thinks she Is intellectual. .
said the Manicure Lady. Imagine It,
George. a intelligent servant. when
she don't know how to fry eggs with
out burning them. Anybody that
cant cook wet thing like q egg
without burning it amt got no in
tellect. and that's all there is to that
argument.
The other day she had the mem
dacity to correct me on my English.
was telling mother that had took
a bus ride the other night, and the
servant up and says. You mustn't say
you have took bus ride, you should
say you have taken a bus ride
tried to tell the poor simp that
had took the ride, and that there was
no taken about it. but she got thick
and said something about my early
education. and I fixes her then with
one OF my regal stares of naughty
disdainment, and intimates kind Of
strong that I might hop my demi-
tasse of her intellectual forehead
after which she sort of draws in her
horns. I don't claim that know the
whole dictionary. George. but II I do
say It myself. I have strung more
words together and does il more
graceful than she ever done It, and
even if she could talk as good as 7
can. she ought 10 take our relative
stations in life into consideration,
don't you think?
eThe trouble with servants nova
days. George, is that they read too
many Of Mister Chambers's novels
and study the cookbook too little A
girl that is all the time reading
about Phyllis reclining idly on a divan
and replying archlv 10 Lord Thick
block. can't be expected to set the
table proper or prepare spuds in the
manner in which they should be pre-
pared in
MY wife does her housework, and
she has got all the servants in crea-
tion beaten block, said the Head
Barber.
You must be a happy man.
George" declared the Manicure Lady.
Everything you get to eat tastes
better that way and yen don't have to
listen to the silly talk OF no meniaL
This girl I was just telling you about
had the nerve the other day to tell me
that her soul rose superior to the
sordid drudgery she done, and reached
out when she was dreaming alone
reached out for the unretainable, or
whatever she called it Iarogd her If
she done more reaching out with a
broom and less reaching out for the
unretainable we would have a cleaner
living room, but she has took vio-
lent diversion 10 me, and suppose we
will quarrel until mother sees the
fony OF keeping her and gets a real
servant
"wilfred tried to stick UP for the
girl when he heard her saying that
she loved poetry. but when he
showed one of his sad pieces and
she laughed hard at it. thinking he
meant it for a comic, he froze up like
pond in New England. and has came
e over to my way Of looking at things
He says that she has the mind Of a
hind. whatever that means, and be-
tween he and me I guess we viii man
age to get rid Of her"
Are you going to do your own
work when you get rnarried?" asked
the Head Barber
Not me-" said the Manicure Lady.
but I amt going to have no intel
lectual servant either