New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-13
AS | WAS SAYING

Joyous were the London successes Of 4. Ward
exhibitor Of fine waxworks and three moral bears
not to mention his little kangaroo, which was "a
most amoozin' kuss." But "A fresh generation has
grown up since then. so shuddered little as
encountered "A British review Of Mr.. Clifton john
sons new Artemus. and wondrously British re-
view it is. Says the critic why do we laugh when
he quotes
80 soles with but "A single thawt
harris which beets as l.
or when he speaks Of "whrling in the messy darnce?
We feel half ashamed Of laughing"
Tepid this-even torpd-yet for downright IN
spircd CLEANLINESS we commend you to the curator
of an historical museum out in Cleveland With
these did hear him intone Chair desk
once property Of Charles r Browne better known as
Artcmus Ward. Lacked balance"
All these indcfatlgable legislatures grinding out
laws laws. laws. every one Of which is Immediately
rclesated to the statute hook!
Evidently Brother Blythe's good angel steercd him
away from those awful Partisan restaurants where
as there are prices set down the bill-of-fare
the waiter looks YOU and charges YOU whatever
he thinks YOU can't afford"
Look where it comes again. that dread advertise
ment "Old Artificial Teeth Bought'-ths time in
an ultra -Oxonan sixpcnny paper, Not that We would
chide the advertiser they say in Parliament.
DE tastibus Gusputandum' but II IL indeed
gricvous to behold his assumption that sentiment is
50 dead among the ultra -OXonians. Picture the de-
lection of Mr.. Burton Kline as he vicws his wofuI
scandal: for while perhaps celebrated for his
rhapsody. All the World Looks Brighter. Now the
Windows Have Been Washed" Mr. Kline won his
earlier laurcls with that immortal heart throb.
Mothers Teeth VIII Soon Fit Sadie
The present treatment OF Vicc-Presdents is per
haps less civil than assassination. but it is moro fun
and lasts longer. Pckng papers please copy.
Just been reading Mr.. Stofanssons chilly account
OF stalking the seal. ON the whole prefer Shark
hunting. which * much less uncomfortable:
You NAV with thimbles and seek it with care
You ma hunt II with forks and hope.
You may threaten It's life with railway share.
You mav charm IT with smiles and soap
whereas Mr.. Stcfansson dcspaircd of getting in with
tho seals without initiating their idosyncrases. and
it is rather disagrceable crawl ones stomach
along the slippy. sloppy ice for hours at stretch
No doubt this is the sporicst way. but il occurs TO
US that the creatures would have felt quite as much
at home with Mr.. Stefansson if he had merely bal
anced lighted torch on his nose and made noise
like sea lion.
If YOU don't like the designs for court
house you know what YOU can do. Guy Lowell
Naturally. had hoped 10 find theatre tickets on
the free list yet there is cheer in Mr.. Robert Graus
prediction that they will some day be reduced in
price. How? T. q. saith not, but tho discerning
will dig wisdom in the following arrangement in
contrasts
"Whoop do Doodums Is principals Is; 80
chorus ladies 80; 20 camels 20 LEO electric lights
400: educated volcano, portable Coney Island,
PAINTED rcplcas of Venice. Kankakcc Cairo, Boston
Frog Pond, St Petersburg and Reno; i" gowns 40
at 81 800 the gown.
candida: q people. / stage set
No wonder Lady Bilngsgatc quotes the Ulster
rebels i'm her defence OF militancy. AS will he cx-
1.inincd i'm our next. cvery woman IS an Irishman.