Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-02-02

living was that she made one more
| expense account
Miss Riff-rafferendum was another mas
| things right side up at present SHOULD
he turned upside down.. Thomas Jener
son suggested that when strange theories
| Cypress the nation We need Prof. Highe
Education. and that worthy rode into TIN
hall on a child's tricycle..
Educates Oficeseekers.
| He proceeded to educate" the ganf
of ofiiceseekers clamoring for post office!
and other patronage pie. To the tune o
the "gobble duet from the opera. Mis-.
Democracy and the professor sang 6
| plea for and refusal of office. To hel
| plaintive cry of "Office. office. office" h
| only answered. Bah. bah. BAH.
The School of Journalism provided
material for much merriment to the
guests. The professor of the schoo
| called up couple of his reporters to ex
anime their work upon the assignment:
that had been given them. The first item
| turned in related remarkable case OF
memory restored:
After forgetting it for sixteen years
John Barrett. director of the Pan-Ameri
| can Union. has remembered he Is q
democrat
Did You find out" asked the professor
OF the other pupil. why Senator Lodge
| is the only senator IN the American
Academy of ImmOrtals?
Yes. sir: Senator Lodge got up the
list
Under the head Of musical notes was
the statement that Uncle joe Cannon
will have the exclusive swan song privi-
leges of Congress for the next thirty
days
These were other items turned in:
speaker Clark and Leader Under
wood. when interviewed by the Grid
iron reporter concerning President
Wilson's statement that he will take
nine hours sleep a day. said: Make il
twentyfour.
How about the answers Ia CORE
Spondents"
"a man wrote in and asked: Why
did Mr.. Taft carry Vermont and Utah
The answer is: Mr.. Taft carried Utah
and Vermont because no cabinet mem
bers live in those states"
Did YOU get the court reports
Yes, sir. In the case OF Woodrow
Wilson against the bankers. the bank
ers are convicted of having money.
POSTMASTER General Hitchcock was
seen on the streets yesterday earnestly
looking for that thousand dollar
job he sacrificed four years ago to go
into the cabinet
Mr. Hiram Maxim has been the
guest of Henry L. Stimson. Secretary
of War Mr.. Maxim is the inventor
of the Maxim mufiier or noise si!encer.
He applied his muller to Mr.. Stimson
during the last campaign with great
success.
Might Even Bar Roosevelt.
1T was learned that the real reason
why Secretary Nagel has refused ad-
mittance to this country of Dictator
Castro is for the purpose of establish
ing a precedent for use when Theodore
Roosevelt comes back after his next
trip abroad
One of the developments Of the later
day journalism is buying stolen letters
Have YOU bought any,
Il have a telegram addressed to Frank
a. MunSey. 1t says: Il have read your
plan for a political holding company
thereafter please cOnfine your writing to
writing checks 1t is dated at Oyster
Bay.
Have YOU covered the criminal news?
II have the report Of that hanging
James Speyer. the notorious New York
banker. and two OF the Guggenhein
brothers Daniel and Simon. were hanged
as high as Hannah this morning on a
gibbet erected OF the steps of the sub
treasury In New York. These three Grim
inal capitalists have been incorrigible Of
tenders The crime for which they We're
at par a new issue Of Woodrow Wilson
Hot Air Single Term Certificates"
One of the songs. entitled I'm the
Guy. outdid the most reckless puns-
ter in playing on the names of promi-
net people. introducing at the same
time some touches of satirical signifi-
canoe.
Another song ran like this:
Politics is not the good old game IT used to he
When money talked 50 free
And bosses ruled with glee.
once the gang would simply go aud grab balio
box.
and rocks.
CHORUS.
| want gang just like the gang
We had in days gone by.
They never heard
Folks who said a word
OF this uplift high.
we Med vote "r ae s ssd r repras ne s
I want gang just like the gang We had il
days gone by.
Higher Education" Menu.
The up-to-date Higher Education
menu was as follows:
E.sse oportet ut vivas, non vivere ut edas
1--WE ought 20 cat to live, not live to eat
MINUTUM
Stolephorus encraslcholus folia
Crudae Ostreae monOmoyo puncto.
SeHnon, OllNae, Ra01ccS,
Amygdalae salsae
ChelOnia clara.
SOlea angelica.
Cucumes.
'Mignon'' agni
Pisi sativi novi, Solani tuberosi bermudae
Malaclemmys palustris Marylandae
Punchio gridironio.
DUN fata smut WHITE laeti.
Be merry while fate permits)
Numida steleagris.
Corda latucae.
Mousse" fragariarum yirginarum.
PaneS sOrtes.
Coffea arabica
Fabas indulcet flames.
tHunger sweetens even beams
Aqua ApoIlinaris.
Those Who Attended.
The guests Of the Gridiron Club were:
The President Of the United States.
The German ambassador.
Felix Agnus. the Baltimore American.
Milton E. Allies. Washington, D. C.
Henry j. Allen, Kansas City Star.
Byron S. Adams, Washington. D. C..
Daniel w. Adams. Washington. d. G.
Joseph w. Bailey. Texas.
John Barrett, director Pan-AmericaI
Union.
Albert E. Berry, Philadelphia, Pa.
Charles III. Boynton. New York
Norris Brown, senator from Nebraska
Charles T.. Baldwin, Washington, d. C..
DR.. Noble p. Barnes. Washington, D. e