New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-10
AS ] WAS SAYING

That tough old bird tho Dove of Peace. has borne
much-Tolstoy Hague conferences. r. Il. and the
rest-only To bc hit squarcly In the bill by NO"
and unexpected argument. Bring on your war. Let
slaughter rage unchecked Give the long pre-
dicted European conGagration and give it to MS red
hot Keep it up. A no else can reduce standing
armies. let them do IT themselves
Mrs Martin calls suffrage invasion Of the home.
and So it is: but how does that affect tho modern
woman?
Speaking Of crowhars and pile drivers and their
relation To table manners It occurs to us that what
is needed in Holloway Jail IL waiter or two from
the Red Dog Hotel at Singing Lizard. Ariz Ihose
genial souls know how to tempt the appetite Of even
the most rebellious guests They set your food be-
fore YOU look YOU keenly between the eyes ana,
tactfully reaching for their hip pockets. remark IN
cheerful tones. You'll eat it. and you'l like IT,"
Considering the peculiarly goshawful annoyance TO
non combatants have telephone girls right to go
out on strike? over yonder in Boston this question
arises and refuses to bc seated though some are
suggesting the compromise measure known as
sabotage Happy thought theoreticaliy In prac-
tice We wonder would II bc noticed.
sad. indeed is the plight of Mr. Walter II. Page.
Trained in a profession where telling all he knew
was virtue he is entering profession where 1t Is
a crime 10 tell anything-except, Of course. stories.
What a safety valve his yarns will be and what a
10y TO King George and his merry men. For IN
stance this story Of MIR. Pages about Uncle Rastus:
candid sinner Uncle Rastus. He got re
lgion in a revival meeting. thought better Of II by
daylight and went back next evening and said to
the faithful: Pears like All done made fool O
myself, ALI ain gwinc scribe de Lawd. Abs gwine
a. Uncle
Regarding his taking off evidence Of divine
wrath the brethren could not think Of disappearing
Providence by burying such "A monster OF lni1ult!
in the darky graveyard, and their refusal caused
the owner Of the plantation considerable anxiety.
So summoning the darky preacher. the darky elders
and the dariy deacons. he divulgcd plan that
struck them speeches. with horror: you know the
field where those fine. big. luscious watcrmelons
grow II is a lovely spot. ! am going To bury Uncle
'Rastus in the middle Of that field" Within an hour
all that was mortal Of Uncle 'Rastus laid TO
rest IN the darby graveyard.
London papers please not copy.
President Wilson means to bring in foreign shoes
free Of duty. and may God make MS able TO walk
about in them,
Il is now several years since Mi John I. Me
Cutcheon fixed the average daily baseball mortality
among grandmothers at 700. Tho present hgure
all but staggcrs humanity-1,il32l9 inonensive old
ladies butchcred to make New York half-holiday.
Although Borough President McAneny would have
us limit the height of buildings, there is fortunately
no need of limiting their depth. Now that the Cort-
Iandt street catacombs have shown how delightful
an underground existence can be, we favor the cX
tension Of the city downward, mile by mile. until
people can recognize the Chinese Republic merely
by taking tho elevator.
Sorry you missed NJ. Raoul Demfou's lecture on
the divorce famine in France He traces that phe-
nomenon TO the careful division of labor In the
French family: THE husband screams very much,
the wife does all" X l.. II.