Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1913-02-07
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Business was the beginning aud end
Of his life. He'd got married, but 1t
was a spare moment between organ
izing a great bargain sale" and dis
missing the errand boy.
One day when the third baby was
four weeks old, his wife came bustL
ing into his office.
Isn't 1t lovely. dear?" she gurgled.
Father has sent us five pounds for
our new baby" /
He never looked up from the ac-
count he was making up. |
"Right-ho!" he murmured abstract
eddy. you wrap him up and post tn |
parcel, while write out the receipt
for the money" 1
The wealthy old lady was very III (,
and sent for her lawyer to make her /
will. Il wish to explain to you" she
said weakly, about disposing Of my
property" The lawyer was sympa-
thetic. There. there. don't worry
about IT," he said soothingly; lust
leave It to me-" "Oh, WE'LL" said the
old lady resignedly, Il suppose
might as we'll. You'll get 1t anyway"
Here's al excerpt from Paul Vests
lust Boy" letters Dust published by
the George H. Doran Company
which reads like clipping from the
Little Johnny" papers by Ambrose
Bierce in the early volumes Of the
Argonaut: Il asst my father why
ministers move so mulch and he
said he guessed they was forced to
on account Of thare sons. l wisht
my father was a minister.
Counsel for the defendant in a
criminal case had made an eloquent
speech, bringing tears to the eyes Of |
many present in court; but the jury
composed Of bareheaded old country
men on whose ears oratory and senti-
ment fell like snowflakes on a warm |
chimney, were unmoved. Counsel for
the prosecution, rising to reply. took
their measure at glance. Gentle |
men," he said, "let 1t be understood |
to begin with that | am not boring |
for water"
A tramp stopped at a Kansas farm
house for a hand-out. The farmers |
wife. listened to his tale Of woe and
was moved with pity. He told her
that he had been hunting all day for
work at his trade but couldn't posi-
bly, find a Job. After She had fed
him till he was full up to the chin
she said: at seems awfully hard
that a poor man like you can't find
work at his trade right here in Janu-
airy when you are hunting for it. By
the way, what is your trade"
MY business, lady" said the
tramp, ''is picking oranges in the
winter and shoveling snow in the
summer"
Speaking Of man that never got
excited" says LATE Winter, Some
years ago two Swedes were working
together in a Kansas stone quarry.
One of them got in the way of pre-
mature blast which sent him up to-
ward the sky. A few minutes after
the blast went off the owner Of the
quarry came running in and ask, ole,
where is Hans? 'Ay dom know, said
OLE, as he weat on TRANQUILITY swing
ing his pick. He went oop few min
utse ago without sayin' where he
bane goin' and he amt COON back
yet. But sy tank he bane coomin
down purity soon.'"
81 was at the Kansas day banquet,
the other night" said Kansas man.
Listened to all the speeches. OBJ
served that all the speakers were will
ing that the Progressives should come
back and vote with them, provided
they come back on the standpatters'
terms. which reminds me Of a story.
Two men got into a fight. One got
the other down ana was preparing W
put a few more frescoes on him when
the man underneath said. See here,
Bill, II you are willing to be reason
able and do as want you to, / will
let you up"
In a certain Kansas town an alleg-
ed hotel was run BY woman who
was very religious. The meals she
put up, however. were the limit for
badness. 1t was her habit, however,
to ask some guest to say grace at
each meal. One day a travelling man
Il /