davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1913-10-16

%F~~''-4~" 80
Oisplay ads. pr Issue. Is cents per inch
by the month. 50 cents per inch.
.ocals, rs cents pcr line one insertion
cent? per Inns each additional inser.
tfon.
RESOLUTIONS, Obituaries. Show, Fair. 80
cisl or other locals, when admission
Is charged. or money 10 he raised,
fesss per line. Obituary poetry. 10
rents per line.
Legal not,ces, u per inch 67st insertion
20 cents per inch zach additions, In
>erfIoa 90 words constitute an inch.
No nffldayit viii b. made until pubii-
ss'ion i paid for.
psfds of ThAaks, 3lc0.
fossisn and patent msdicins ads take
the same rate - display and local adj
ycvtisinG - shave psestionsd
.nsernd tne roxromce n Parma. idaho.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1913-10-16

Hauteur la what the barber bestows
on man who won't have anything bus
shave.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1913-10-16

AnnbHn WnsTsHr IDAHO Pksss ASK.
N. A. BArns. Parma. Pres.
". BAsn, Ontario, Vice Pres.
.. g. BrRHocoHs. Caldwell, Sec. Treas
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1913-10-16
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION

lo2il-s
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

adds immensely to the effect OF the ar
gument. There are bulls. however.
even in Ireland. which are born OF
sheer NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Such was
the remark OF the Dublin university
freshman who was dared to "Iepp"
broad and muddy ditch IN College
park Sure" he said III ! jumped
across that I would fall in the middle
before I got halfway" That WIS YER
bal carelessness II was something
more than this-it was inability to
think clearly which made ar old lady
say one Sunday when the porch was
inconveniently crowded after church.
IF everybody else would DO as ] do
and stay quietly in their seats till ev-
cry one had gone ont there would be
no crush ut the door"
In between these comes a class OF
bull which IS neither Illuminating nor
confusing. but which arises from a
constitutional bluntness Of intellect
To this class belongs the reply of a
servant 70 her mistress question. who
was that at the front door," "A gen
tleman looking for the wrong house.
ma'am." the servant said u did not
know the man was alive until saw
his death in the paper" is another in
stance Of the same kind
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
NAILED THE WRONG MAN.
The Reporter Didn't Get an interview,
but Did Get Story.

ne Reporter Dtdn'r Set an tnteFVIo"y
but Did Get Story.
The late Representative Bingham of
Philadelphia, who was for many years
the father of the house." served in
congress with the late General Meyer.
who for years represented New Or
leans district in the house. The two
generals. one a Yankee, the other a
Confederate. were not only good
friends. but bore a strong resemblance
to each other. each being short. chesty
looking. nattily dressed and having a
pink bald head.
One day the correspondent Of a
Philadelphia paper was called away
from Washington and left a Baltimore
man to do his work. The substitute
received u Telegram from Philadelphia
to interview General Bingham on
what congress would do with a bill.
then pending. vitality affecting the Phil
adelphia mint
Hurrying through Statuary hall. the
sub who was new to Washington.
ran into General Meyer. The Louisi-
ana statesman was a little grouchy
and when asked for an interview about
the Philadelphia mint exploded. The
reporter insisted.
II don't care a about the Phlla-
delphia mint. l tell you shouted
General Meyer and tore himself away
The story the correspondent sent to
Philadelphia that night sizZled, and the
Philadelphia paper the next morning
on the front page heralded to the
world how profanely Indifferent to the
Philadelphia mint General Bingham
was. 1t took Bingham a month to
square himself with his constituents
New York World.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
THE ORDINARY MAN.
Some Of the Snass He Struck In His
Journey Through Life.

Some of the Snass He Struck In His
Journey Through Life.
The ordinary man walked into for
lists shop and. pointing to beautiful
Towering plant, asked its price.
That Duodecimum foriatum:' ask
ed the florist as nearly as the ordinary
man understood him. lit is worth a
dollar"
He dropped in at his physicians Of
fee and requested that gentleman to
tell what was the matter with him.
"Oh. you've just got a slight mani
festation of Nasopharyngeal comblom-
merus." the doctor said. or words to
that apparent effect.
The ordinary man stopped to look at
an automobile, and the agent said:
You see. the differential is set at
tangent to the assimilator. and that
brings the Obloid paralleling chute in
diametric connection with the swivel
ing trunnion." as nearly as the ordi-
nary man caught the remark.
The ordinary man consulted his law
yer
I'VE will appeal to have the decision
reversed" declared the attorney. ION
the grounds Of lex judicatum non con-
tendre posse comitatus." At least that
is what the ordinary man gathered.
So he became so bewildered over the
way things are told to ordinary people
that he was careless when be crossed
the street and was run down by an au-
tomoblle being demonstrated by the
agent and was picked up and carried
into the doctors office and called the
lawyer to make his will. and later the
florist got an order.
And. TO pursue him still further. they
carved on his monument. "Requiescat
In Pace Chicago Post.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

New York.-Elizabeth Gurley Flynn
is just a woman, but she has demon
strated her ability to lead a big strike
in New York City. When the hotel
and restaurant walters decided that
they wanted more pay, they asked
Miss Flynn to help them. She played
prominent and successful part in the
Lawrence, Mass, textile strike year
ago.
She came to New York City about
the time the strike started and has
been on the job ever since She's a
good organizer and a fiery speaker.
Sine says the best way to hit the hotel
keepers is to prove that the food they
serve is unclean. Addressing a big
crowd of strikers the other night she
SAID:
Il want you all TO come and tell
about the adulteration Of food. l want
you to tell how dishes which are re-
fused by one guest because of their
iLferiority are sent back again to an
other guest; and how sauces are pour
ed upon bad food to make it taste like
good food. / want you to make aft
davit TO it, so We may give our infor-
nation to the board of health and to
the newspapers.
IF the guests knew half as much
as you do about the food they eat and
the places ii comes from, they wouldn't
dare go into some of our best known
hotels and restaurants"
Miss Flynn declared that of course
the board of health wouldn't do any
thing in the matter All public Off
Gals, naturally, had their palms cross
ed with filthy capitalistic lucre when
they went on inspection"
I'VE want Mr.. Capitalist, when he
sits down TO his dainty dinner to
( know that it's daintiness rose out of a
vile spot like lily out of mud pool"
! she resumed I'VE want to let the
evil smell of you walters quarters
spread throughout New York
/ He doesn't care where you work,
+ of course. But if you can impress
him with the fact that you work in
vile place, and that his food comes
from vile place, you may be helped.
/ For you will hit him square in the
stomach, ana that's where all the
senses of the American capitalist are
( located"
MiIs Flynn has been trying to in.
duce the walters to adopt an anti-tip-
ping resolution. In this she has been
unsuccessful.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

but got no consolation. The suit
could be defended, but the verdict
of the jury could be foretold months
ahead.
The doctor went to see the lawyer
who had the case In hand, and what
he got from him was:
Mr.. Lister is a wealthy and very
respectable young man. His reputa-
ton must suffer from this. 1t near
~ broke his mothers heart when
she read that article in the paper. It
-ill damage him to the amount of a
million dollars, but he has told me
to settle for $50. 600"
But I'm not worth 100000"
groaned the doctor.
NO? I'm sorry for you. You
should be worth 5000 and then
you could settle this case and have
$4,000 left"
What could a poor girl do? Moth
ing but weep and wish she had seen
the Cold Water Harbor Weekly Rec
ord in Texas before she had sent 1t
a single line for publication. Her
career was knocked In the head.
There would be no new Kipling.
She could not turn to squad farm
ing. ALI the books said that one
must be cheerful in order to raise
squads successfully, and how could
one be cheerful with $1,000 suit
hanging over them? That house
was not a house OF mirth.
Mr. Lister had a cory place on the
outskirts OF the village. BY walking
a quarter of a mile one came to q
spot where the river swept in close
TO the highway. and there was a bit
of a grove there and seats under the
trees. Miss Lucy had often walked
out there when trying TO decide on
her career Now. with that awful
libel suit hanging over her head, she
took to going oftener-
On this particular afternoon she
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
The Difference In spesd.

The professor of shorthand in local
business college adduced this unan-
swerable argument in an address to q
new class the other day:
I'VE are told that 1t took Gray, au-
thor of the well known Elegy In a
Country Churchyard' seven years to
write that famous poem. II be had
known stenography he could have done
it In seven minutes. We have gradu-
ates who have done that same poem
In that length Of time. "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

had dim thoughts OF suicide With
the silent waters rolling over her she
would be at rest and the libel suit
would have to be quashed
The young lady did not jump into
the water. She hadn't arrived at
that point yet. She was just think
ing about 1t when the bench on
which she sat broke down. 1t was
a sharp declivity to the bluff. and
then a fall of three feet. and she
went rolling to plump into the
stream.
Perhaps she screamed. Whether
she did or not made no difference to
the young man coming along in the
auto. He saw the accident. stopped
his machine and was in the water
supporting her before she hardly I'M
derstood what had happened.
/ There was quite a struggle to
reach shore, and when it was ac-
complished she was picked up in her
wet state and deposited in the auto.
and all the young man said was:
Point out your house as We come to
it, please"
The doctor as well as the mother
were at home. Miss Lucy was whisk-
[ ed OF to her hoOm, and after the
( doctor had received brief explana-
I tion of the affair the autoist excused
himself and departed.
He came next day, however, as was
very proper. Miss Lucy received
( him, as was very proper. The father
and the mother rendered thanks.
And when the hero handed his card
be thought It also very proper to add
] in explanation:
81 am the plaintiff in the $50, 900
libel suit. you know. / ordered 1t
discontinued this morning. II
can't save a young lady'S life and
then sue her, too. can ~
They told me ali wrong about IL. -
pleaded Miss Lucy, and you don't
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

ly able to send anything but the Rec
ord, but would see that that reach
ed her every week.
All great literary lights il prose
and poetry had had TO have a begin
ming. The Record offered Miss Lucy
the needed stepping-stone. IL would
publish all her poetry, and II would
be delighted TO have her dish UP the
news OF her village and the country
around.
Papa Ramsey saw the letter and
replied that he was still for squads.
Mama Ramsey saw 1t and said she
was still neutral. Miss Lucy read It
over for the seventh time and her
career was decided. 1t was to be lit
erary.
Within an hour she was at work
on another poem entitled will the
Blossoms Fall Upon Ny Crave" She
also produced a 10-cent note book
and made ready to gather items.
She did gather. She wrote of
sewing societies, engagements. mar
riages, accidents and other things,
and the Cold HarboT Weekly Record
began TO put on airs and brag over
the Hot Creek Weekly Times.
Miss Lucy had girl friends to help
her along In her literary career by
telephoning in items. II was four
weeks before she struck a sen
satioD- Then II came from a village
five miles away, and X was fit
edged
II was an opportunity such as
Shakespeare sighed for in vain. As
telephoned in and written up and
published in the Record under four
scare-heads. Constable Baksr had ar
rested a desperate who had stolen an
auto in the city and was making
across the country.
There had been a desperate fight.
The prisoner was suspected Of being
q country Raffes. he had given the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
SHAKESPEARE AS AN. ACTOR.
He Evidently Was Not a Player Of Any
Great Power.

He Evidently Was Not a Player Of Any
Great Power.
II WAS probably in 1898 that Shake
speare first appeared as Adam and as
the elder Knowell, and it was probably
in 1902 that he first personated the
ghost, being then thirty-eight years
old. says Brander Matthews in the
North American Review. He was to
remain on the stage ten or twelve
years longer. but there is no reason to
suppose that the parts be played in
later life were any more important.
We do not know what characters he
undertook in the plays which he wrote
after Hamlet" nor do we know what
parts he assumed in the many pieces
by other authors which made I'D the
repertory Of the company. That he
continued TO act we need not doubt
For instance. he was one of the per-
formers in Ben Jonson's "Sejanus,"
probably produced in 1902 or 1903.
But the absence of specific informa-
ton on this point is evidence that he
did not impress himself upon his con-
temporaries as an actor Of power. As
Lewes declared. THE mere fact that
we hear nothing of his qualities as an
actor implies that there was nothing
above the line. nothing memorable to
be spoken Of" The parts which we be-
lieve him TO have played did not de
mand or admit various excellencies."
Shakespeare may have had lofty his
trionic ambitions. but probably he was
not allowed TO crafty his longings. and
certainly we have no tradition or hint
that he ever failed in what he at
tempted 10 the theater. Perhaps we
are justified in believing that he had
gone on the stage merely as the easiest
means of Immediately earning his liv
ing that he did not greatly care for
acting and that he was satisfied TO as
sumo the responsible but subordinate
parts for which he was best fitted.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
Snoilad har RnmancA-

was blessed with a romantic brain,
and quiet. even state OF things could
not satisfy me for long. So the thought
suddenly entered my herd to have my
husband madly in love with me. One
evening rs we were promenading the
bank of the Vistula. under those ven
cradle trees which shaded the less un.
sophisticated loves Of the beautiful
Marie d'Arquin. ] brought round the
conversation to sentiment main
tained that no happiness was possible
on this earth except in a reciprocal
attachment, both lively and enduring.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
TERRIFIED THE SHAH.
The Persian Monarch Suddenly Lost
All Interest In Radium.

ino TeTSidn WoudFCH Suooonly IoSS
All Interest In Radiun.
Radium, most mysterious of the new
mysteries in modern science. is so lit
tie familiar to unscientific men that
the panic of the oriental pOtentate de-
scribed in a recent book by NJ. Xavier
Paoli. French detective, is easily IN
derstood.
Once while in Paris the shah of
Persia, Muzaffar-ed-din. expressed a
wish to know something of Professor
Curie's famous discovery. NJ. PaOli
made the necessary arrangements.
Complete darkness is Of course needed
If radium is TO reveal itself in all its
brilliancy. With endless trouble Paoli
persuaded the monarch to descend into
one Of the hotel cellars that had been
arranged for the purpose.
But at length his majesty. with all
his suit. proceeded to the underground
apartment. Professor Curie closed the
door. switched off the electric light
and uncovered his specimen OF radiuIn.
Suddenly a shout of terror between the
roar of bull and the yell of man
being murdered rang out and was
echoed by hundred others.
Amid general excitement and con-
sternation," writes n. Paoli, I'VE flung
ourselves upon the electric switches
and turned on the lights.
Then we beheld strange spectacle.
In the midst Of the PROSTATE persians.
with his arms around the neck of the
grand vizier and his round pupils di-
lated to their very rims. stood the
shah. shouting ut the top of his voice
in Persian:
''Come away. Come away"
The switching on of the light calm
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
A NORWEGIAN WORD.
Origin Of "Budstikken," Which Means
spreading the News"

Origin Of "Budstikken," Which Means
spreading the News"
This peculiar word is. frequently
found In Scandinavian communities as
the name Of newspaper. such as st.
Cloud Budstikken. it is a Norwegian
word, 1900 years old at the least and
has a very peculiar origin.
In those days, when the coasts Of
Norway were ravaged by pirates, the
inhabitants had to resort to all SORTS
of devices to warn those at a distanee
Of the approach of these piratical craft
When one was seen on the horizon
man went up to the top of a mountain.
where he lighted beacon fire. This
could be seen sfor a long distance and
was known to be a warning. When
1t was seen In the distance another
fire was lighted on another hill until
all over the country fires blazed from
every hilltop and the people prepared
to defend themselves.
They also had a system OF messen-
gers. The man who first sighted the
sail would take an arrow and send It
to his neighbors. From town to town
this arrow was sent until all were
warned. These were rather primitive
ways of telegraphing. but were so eff
fectual that in the course of twenty
four hours all Norway knew of the ap-
proach OF pirates.
This system of spreading the news
was called "budstikken." and when
there were no more pirates the news
papers became spreaders of the news
and so were appropriately styled bud
stikken. Exchange
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
STANDARD Of Persian Beauty.

Great care is taken that the Persian
girl shall conform to the recognized
standard Of beauty. which requires her
to have cypress waist. a full moon
face, gaZelle eyes and eyebrows that
meet" says a traveller Her eyes.
brows and hair must be black as night.
her lips. cheeks and gums as red as
blood. her skin and teeth as white as
almonds and her back. limbs and fin
gers long. II these conditions are nat
urully absent they are supplied as far
as possible by art. Persian women are
always painted. their eyes darkened
with khol and their fingers stained
with henna. "-ChicaGo News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

rue apple pie given the children or
1852 to appease their homesick crav-
ings when apples were dollar
pound IL was made by breaking four
soda crackers into an earthern bowl
and pouring over them q pint Of cold
water rendered very tart by citrir
acid. When soft the crackers werr
laid on n pie plate on the undercrus,
Over them were sifted two table
spoonfuls OF light brown sugar and
little allspice and cinnamon A pretty
perforated top crust was added. a nd in
few minutes a perfect apple pie was
taken from the oven to delight young
and old.-New York Sun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
mada Him Cautious.

Mr.. White-I understand. Smathers,
that your church is about to so into
court to sue certain delinquent wor-
shippers for pew rent. Brudder Smath-
ers-Yassah, only doesn't call folks
dat won't pay de Lawd der honest
debtedness wuhshIpahs. Mr.. White
What do you call them? Brudder
Smathers-Ne'm mind. sab: ne m mind
what calls 'em. called one Of 'em
what called him dis mawuin'. and
he knocked me in de head wild rock.
National Monthly.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
Matrimonially Speaking.

"a preacher" remarked the gem
orator OF useless ideas, is a poor
mathematician"
Why" que-ied the chap who is
always there with a nibble.
Because he adds one and one to-
gether and the total Ia one" cx-
planned the other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

been a fight, but there was no des-
perado in the case. Miss Lucy's in
formant was an excitable person.
and had drawn on her imagination 4
great deal
II was clear case of libel. The
editor OF the Record drove over and
said ii was, and intimated very
strongly that he would commit sui1
eide % escape the consequences. He
also ntimated that Miss Lucy had
better do :he same thing.
DR.. Ramsey vent 70 see q lawyer,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

a libel suit on hand, with damages
laid at $4,000 Miss Lucy Ramsey
had another. She wasn't groveAng
She was too scared.
When Papa Ramsey was told OF
the service OF the papers, which hap
pened when he was out visiting q pa
tent he turned white and groaned:
Fifty thousand dollars, You'll
have TO go to prison for % years 10
satisfy that Judgment
When Mama Ramsey came 10 know
the substance Of the summons served
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
ECZ E NJ A
Also called letter, salt Rheum, Pruttus
MiIk-Crust, Weeping skin, Etc.

ECZEMA CAN BE CURED TO STAY,
and when / say cured. / mean Just what
l say-C-U- ED, and not merely
patched up for a while, to return worse
than before. Remember, l make this
broad statement after putting y years
of my time on this one disease and
handling in the meantime nearly half a
million cases OF this dreadful disease.
Now, j do not care what all you have
used, nor how many doctors have told
you that you could not be cured-a1l
ask is just a chance to show you that
know what 1 am talking about. II you
will write me TODAY, l will send you a
FREE TRIAL Of my mild, soothing.
guaranteed treatment that will convince
you more in a day than l or anyone else
could in a months time. II you are dis
gusted and discouraged, just give me
chance TO prove my claims. BY writing
me today you will enjoy more real COM
fort than you had ever thought this
w orld holds for you. Just try II and
you will see l am telling you the truth.
DIR. }. r.. CannadRy, 263 Court Block.
ScdRliR, Mo.
References: Third National bank, Sc
dalia, Mo.
Could you do a better act than to send
this notice to some poor SUI
ferer of Eczema? (Adv)
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

know how sorry ! have been"
Wen talk It over some day
when | get over being a desperado,"
And they are talking it over so
frequently, and talking other things
with 1t, that the doctor shakes his
head in a dubious way and says to
the wife:
This is going TO be a lonesome
house when Lucy steps Off, but | ex-
pect she's got TO GO
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

ed his mad terror as If by magic. Real
king the disappointment and chagrin
he had caused NJ. Curie. the shah tried
to compensate him by the offer of a
decoration. But the austere man of
science" concludes Paoli. thought lit
to decline it."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

name of George Lister, and claimed
to be innocent, but me authorities
were up to his games. State prison
yawned for him
II was the greatest sensation the
Weekly Record had ever had, and it
made the most of it.
Three days later the proud editor
was grovehng in the dust. He had
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18

MY husband. after listening TO me in
diligently for little while. looked at
his watch, called my attention TO the
lateness OF the hour. observed that our
cousins were becoming very tiresome
and that It was time to go in!-From
Countess Potocka's Memoirs.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-01-18
He Would Indeed.

whats this word. pap asked
Willie pointing it out in his book.
phenomenon" replied pa.
"Wel. what is that?'
THAT. my son, Is exactly what you
would be il you never disturbed your
father with questions" Catholic
Standard and Times