The Marshall republican., 1913-01-24
Press Clippings

Evangelist Lowry, who 10 hclitng
services in Atchison, says: when I
started out TO preach I was afraid
I would hurt somebody's feelings.
Now I ana always a'raii l won't.
At a meeting of the state me1i-
cal society the secretary read q let
ter from a consul to the Philip
pines, urging the need OF a resi-
dent physician in his district In
the moment silence that folowe3
the young man in the hall arose
AMI said m~odest,y: II wish you
would put me down for that place,
sir. IL sounds good to me. My
practice here died last night"
Everybody has had their say
about the existence of Santa
C.ausr writes Col. Ed. Smith of the
Futon Journal "Let me say
word now that this Christmas is
over. Maybe I did not know a
week ago, but I know 10Y that
there Is a Santa Caus because my
room Ia full Of an avalanche OF evi
dence. He brought me a dozen
things ! did not want, pretty
things, and also four quarts Of
whisky, two boxes of cigars, a
bottle OF perfume, etc.
An old gentleman told the follow
ing story in a Louisville re [ u-ant
the other day: He run a general
store down in Allen comfy some
thirty years ago and one day an
Old colored woman who had never
seen a mitch came into the stcrs
with her son. Alter taking for
some time she pulled out her pipe
and filed IL. Then walked TO the
stove to get a light but the fire
was out. The PROPRIETOR OF the
rtore saw what she wanted and
struck a mitch and handed Il to
her. She exclaimed IL RI mighty
what Is them thlngs9" She was in
formed what they we're and asked
for a few TO take home with her.
When she got inside o. her cabin
che started cilling her children
AMI said "come heah, your pore
ignorant critters and see me Jerk
hc.,-!lre out OF a spi' nter.n
A Ro'l1 boy somewhat loyt inter-
est In the church and when 1ues-
toned by the m'ni7ter as to the
OF his delinquency, astonish
ed that reverend gentleman by in
forming him that he swore too
much In the pulpit. "Why John
n.y." gasped the surprised c'ergy-
man, "you r mistaken, I never
swear" 'oh yes you do persisted
the lad. "we!l." said the minister
"you come to church Sunday and
u you hear me aver IL give you
IN apple pie; ana II you don't
hear me, you are to give me one"
To this Johnny agreed. Next Sun
day Johnny was on the front feat.
The sermon was about half out
and the minister had committed no
~offense, until, unsuspectingly, he
uttered the words: "And II "a by
God We live and by God we I've
AMI by God we die-wherewpon
Johnny jumping To his feet, cried
out, "And by God you lose yorr
apple pie"
Judge: Congre, sman Rslph w.
Moss OF Indiana did not care much
for a hat his wife wore. He finally
spoke about it Mrs. Moss admit
ted that IL was pan, and, instead
Of taking exception to her hus-
bani's remark, invited him to ac-
company her the next tim, che
bought a HIT. ~ can etrta'n'y pick
out q better one than that said
Mr.. Moss. So they went to the sto. e
together. Mrs. Moss said not a
word as the come'y miliner dis
played one beautiful bonnet after
another. II was the first tine Mr..
Moss had v e been in a millinery
sotre, but he appeared to be at
cas- ana finally selected n OF the
most Joyful creations In the entire
stock. Mrs Moss looked well In Il.
She wa pc sed. Tn take that, ,
said the Hoos'er Congressman.
show much Is it9' "Forty do lsrs",
said the pretty girl, without even
a blink MI, Moss saw blue stars,
but luckily he had just come from
the bank hni was abe to pro-
iuce that mach cash. Now he let's
Mrs Mos, buy her own hats and he