davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Too Lona to Wait.

At the American Electric Railway
associations convention in Atlantic
City John Morse Rogers, the Omaha
statistician, said:
1T is too early yet for the three
cent fare. The trolley roads stand to-
ward the three-cent fare as old Gobsa
Code stood toward the beautiful type
writer girl.
1T wasn't Gobsa Codes age that
lost him the beautiful girls hand.
Gobsa swore he would love and cher
ish her till death, but she shook her
head. She didn't tell him he was too
old, though. No. indeed. She told him
he was too young!"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
COULDN'T CORNER The QUACK
Very Evident He Was Used to Getting
Into and squirnins Out Of Ex.
ceedingly Tight Places.

A correspondent of the Lancet tells
of man who, when he went to a
"quack" and complained Of sharp
pain in the loins after sitting on damp
grass for some hours, during which
he frequently sucked the point of the
lead pencil with which he was writ
ing, was told that he was suffering
from "plumbism," and given some
pills. The next day he returned to
the "quack" and said
you told me l had plumbism,
which is lead poisoning and l now
find there is no lead in lead pencils,
only graphite of plumbago.'
"Oh," replied the "quack," airily,
"did | say plumbism is the cause of
your lumbism? l meant to have said
plumbago is the cause of your lum-
bago."
"Oh," said the man, "but anyhow,
your pills are only bread"
"Of course" replied the "quack.'
Don't you know that break is the old
est and finest thing to remove pencil
marks with?"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Blamed Il on Medicine.

Seasickness affects people different
ly. but it is doubtful if many accept it
in the spirit manifested by a certain
small sinner who, by reason of his
poor health, had been subjected to
various kinds of unpleasant medical
treatment. Fairchild was taken out
for an ocean sail, with direful conse-
quences. He kept silence as long as
he could, but at last even his good
nature revolted. Between paroxysms
he angrily addressed his mother.
Il told you never, never again to
give me medicine without telling me
about it. I'd lots rather know when
I'm going to be sick!"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

baum at this holy season of the year. In the German
colonies under tropical sun, where the cactus must
perforce replace native fir Christmas celebrations are
held and the same songs sung at home i'm eben Water
land.
Naturally when all Germanys children are celebrat-
ing her model family leads the way At the imperial
court Christmas is celebrated in exactly the same way
as in every other household throughout the empire Two
especially fine specimens of fir selected by the royal
the emperor and empress and other trees
in diminishing szs for the numerous other members of
the emperors immediate family that is his six and
one daughter the wives of his three married and his
grandsons the latter being favored with proportion.
ally tiny The whole number set in the shell
hall of the palace at Posdam, where the kaiser al
ways spends Christmas and the various gifts about
which the is observed in the families Of
the bourgeois disposed at the foot of each separate
But before the imperial family celebrates the feast
the emperor and empress attend the Bescherung, or
presentation of gifts to the members of the imperial
household valesdechambre personal attendants. lack
eys and footmen
On the afternoon Of Christmas the emperor,
companied by adutan whose pockets stuffed with
newyminted five. three and two mark pieces, takes the
traditional walk through the park of the and
distributes money the beggars who rally in force
He has kind word cordial greeting for them ALL
does he forget the guard at the gates of the palace
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
SEEMED LIKE A REFLECTION
Under the Circumstances Doctor
Needed Strong Sense Of Humor to
Avert a Brainstorm.

A certain doctor. who is, on his own
frank admission, "the ,ugliest man in
four counties" has a keen sense of
humor which enables him to enjoy
many real and unconscious reflections
upon his facial deficiencies.
Once. after he had arrived too late
to succor a poor woman who had been
killed in "a factory, the local newspa-
per published an ambiguous account
of the case, which the doctor, with
grim appreciation, preserved.
Having first described how the wom-
an had come by her injuries, the para
graph went on to say:
Strong hopes were entertained of
saving her life until Doctor P ar
rived; but these hopes unfortunately
proved ill-founded. for the moment
the doctor showed his face within the
door the poor woman fell back with a
gasp and expired"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

sand years ago In fair Bethtal efl
For weeks before the festival thou
sands and thousands of trees are
brought by rail and water from the
forests of Thuringia and Mecklen-
burg to the capital where they are
sold by dealers on the public squares
and places. In the last fortnight be
fore Christmas the trim grass plots
vanish beneath forest of Christmas
trees ranged up in endless lines,
each resting on roughly tacked.to-
gether, deal wood stand. Ana here
from eight in the morning till eight
at night, according TO paragraph so
and so of the police regulations. the
millionaire captain of industry, the
uniformed official, the bespectacled
professor, and the miserably paid.
hungry looking school teacher rub
shoulders, haggling and bargaining
over their Christmas tree. The lat
ter can be had at all prices, from so
marks for forest king to go pfen-
nigs for stunted dwarf. The one
may be destined to be hung with cor
uscating electric lights and decked
with diamonds for the bankers wife,
the other feebly illuminated with
farthing dips and miserably tricked
out with handful of nuts for the
workingman's family. The men on
duty at the electric plant stations on
Christmas eve have their tree, as do
the engine drivers as they sit in their
quarters at the railway yards waiting
for the night shifts.
The soldiers in the barracks, the
sailors at sea, the patients in the
hospitals, the convicts in the prisons,
even the poor, miserable wretches,
the submerged tenth, covering about
the fires in the refugees for the home
less-they all have their Tannen-
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Rising In His Profession.

How is your son getting along-I
mean the musical one, who went to
New York city to seek his fortune?"
asked the village parson at Hohokus
of one of his parishioners, a widowed
mother of a family Of boys.
Fine, sir, thank you," replied the
old dame. II had a postal card from
him sayin' as how he is conductin'
now"
Indeed, that is excellent news. And
what band Is he conducting?"
HE didn't say, sir, except that it's
on the Belt line, somewhere around
the river front"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19


girls they would receive these gifts rather tried to i'm
press upon them the idea that il they did ask
more than they should receive that is selfish
they might get them With this admoniton / coupled
the idea that Santa Claus needed help especially in reach
ing the poor the sick and the unfortunate. told my
children to help Santa Claus all they could every
year they have managed to discover poor child
some sick unfortunate boy girl for whom they
provided gifts. In thus helping Santa Claus they have
found much pleasure that they have quite forgotten
their desires beyond the expression of them
They have at least curbed their selfshness and think
that have led them to be generous to extent"
In this womans experience lies more of practical
value than be found in all the books that pub
ished by all the associations in christendom She got
the root Of the whole matter and she applied the proper
remedy-a remedy that did not directly curb that did
not punish but effected by indirecton the very result
that she wished to bring about How many parents
today treating the selshness of their children the
way? How need to treat their children in
same way? And how many easily begin even now by
encouraging their children to help Santa Claus?
MY ideal Christmas: Home. the country, snow holly,
Christmas tree carols kind faces and fond hearts
about you.-Mrs. Brown-Potter.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Some of these associations
look to physical development,
others to mental and moral,
and still others to both. In
a little book prepared by an
association of the last named
class, the writer recently
found this statement: Par
ents are as much responsible
for the selfishness of their
children as they are for their
existence" This rather en-
phatic statement led to quite
a discussion of the matter
with the mother of several
children, who told the writer
that she had been engaged
ever since her first born in
combating selfishness and
developing generous impulses
in her children. In relating
her experiences she told this
little story:
AT this season of the year
my children got into the habit
of expressing their desires
for particular Christmas gifts.
! did not tell them that if
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
His Sensible Attitude.

as you comm to pra'r meetin' to-
night. Brud' Dinger?" inquired old
Parson Gagster.
"Well-uh, no, sab! reggin not" was
the reply. ITO tell de troof, pahson.
rs amin to go to de minstrel show
done got Complementary ticket"
"Brud' Dinger. dar won't be no min
strel shows in heaven"
Den, if OATS de case, sab, I'm sho'
gwine tonight, whilst muh ticket S
good"-Judge.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Cassandra caddie.

Miss Gladys Ravenscroft, the new
golf champion, was talking in Whining
ton about the royal games difficult
ties.
When / began to play she said. Il
had crusty old Scot for caddie. After
l had worked very hard for some
months l asked this crusty old Scot
one day:
well, Saunders. how am | getting
on?
Saunders answered gruffly:
Yer no maxim a fool O yersel', but
yen never be gawfer.'
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Missed the Flood story.

Sir William Treloar recently told a
story of servant who was once en-
ployed at his Cripples' Home at Alton,
says the Taller. One day during lunch
time there was heavy downfall of
rain, and Sir William said to the little
maid who was waiting at table, "Why.
Lizzie, it is almost like the flood"
The food, Sir William" said the
girl. Yes, the flood. Noah, you
know, and Mount Ararat." Il never
have no time to look at the papers"
she replied apologetically.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Training Down Daddy.

Ethel declare, Elsie, how well
your father looks. He belongs to that
downtown business mems gymnasium.
doesn't he?"
Eisie-Not daddy. Dads more up to
date than that. Mother an we girls
talked him into joining Miss Martins o
tango class, and the Improvement
has been simply wonderful.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Small Boys Performance.

A pair of engaged lovers had spent
some time on the moonlit veranda.
Presently the young lady babe her Wis
itor goodby, and, on her way up to bed,
stepped into the nursery to kiss her
beloved little nephew.
"Auntie,' inquired the sleepy but de-
voted urchin, his arms around her
why don't you make Mr.. Dick smell
like your perfume, stead O. smelling
like his baccy?"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

You need new hat"
I'm"
You need new suit"
"Um."
you need shoes. Man alive. your
feet are on the ground!"
Quite true" admitted Wombat.
with a sigh.
Then take this weeks salary and
spruce up"
Can't squander any money on my
self. old man. My wife is worse OF
than am"
Dear me. How is that?"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
OFF and On,

Save when you're young The
speaker, John D. Rockefeller, Jr.. was
addressing Y. M. c. A. meeting in
Cleveland.
Save when you're young repeated
Mr.. Rockefeller, with smile. The
years will pass swiftly. Then, when
you find yourself we'll on, you'll also
find yourself well Off"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
RO0FINGS

We believe that we carry the largest
stocks of roofings in the south, in painted
and galvanized steel. rubber and compo-
sition, in all prices. from soc per square.
complete. and up. Try "Paroid," the
King Of Rubber Roofing. Ten years with
out a brush. Pidgeon- Thomas Iron Com
pany, Iron, Steel. Railway and Mill Sup
plies, Memphis. Tennessee. Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
GETTING at the Fact.

A witness in particular case had
been examined by the lawyer for the
plaintiff and was turned over to the
lawyer for cross-examination.
Now. then, Mr.. Smith," began the
legal one. what did understand you
to say that your occupation is?''
Il am a piano finisher," answered
the witness.
Yes, i see,' persisted the lawyer,
but you must be more definisa. Do
you polish them, or do YOU move
them2"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
So Cheerful,

Uncle Josh-Heres a letter from
Nephew Henry, that's gone to Africa
says within 20 rods of his house
there's family O. laughing hyenas.
His Wife-Well, I'm glad Henry's
got pleasant neighbors, anyway-that's
something
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
reform cos.ume for Women.

A conservative correspondent of the
Sun suggests this costume as proper
one for women who wish to signify
their disappreval Of the extravagant
and immoral modes of the day: Plain
drab costume Disgusting the figure;
black. sober hat with white spots; no
jewelry pair Of spectacles. a Mother
Camp umbrella, warm WOODEN stock
ings, thick shoes with very low heels.
1t would certainly be we'll worth
while to watch the effect of the ap-
pearance OF this costume on Fifth ave-
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
COULDN'T STAND THE OUTLAY
Wombat's Personal Appearance Did
Not Count Under the Existing
circumstances.

Excuse me. wombat." said the
well-dressed one. but personal friend
ship prompts me to speak"
what Is 1t, old chap?"
II fear that. unless you improve
your personal appearance, you may
lose your job"
II hope not"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Milk for Gloves.

A simple and effective way to clean
kid gloves is to draw them on the
hands and go over them with clean
cloth dipped in skim milk. Wear them
until quite dry. Or moisten a small
sponge or piece of cloth in skim milk,
rub 1t on a cake OF CASTLE soap and
with this sponge the gloves until they
are quite clean, Wear until they are
dry,
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Elixir Babek cures malaria where
quinine fails, and 1t can be taken with
impunity by old and young.
Having suffered from Malarious Fee
yer for several months, getting no re-
broken down in health, elixir Babek'
effected permanent ure."-William
+. MARI.
Elixir Babek, SO cents, all druggists, or
kloczewski q Co.. Washington, DC. Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
PHILANTHROPY.

Il feel pretty good today" said
Jones to his wife. Il saved a man
from lifelong misery"
How was that?e
MY assistant wants to get married
and asked for raise. But wouldn't
give il to him."
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
rs Years AGO

Frey's vermifuge was first made
Since then thousands Of mothers in
this section have constantly relied on
1t as the most effective worm medi.
cine in the market. 25c. at all deal
ers.-AdY.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Bad for Dentists.

"How are those two young men who
went into partnership as dentists get
ting on?"
Rather badly. Somehow they don't
seem to pull together
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

trees in the windows of the gabled houses
Some so years ago, before the German giant had
awakened from the sleep of centuries, this idea of the
peaceful German Christmas But of of the
burghers Of old Berlin returning from making his Christ
mas purchases on Christmas be transpanted
into the roaring hub of empire which his Haupstadt has
become the good would probably expire the spot
@s Fifty years ago, when Berlin a dirty, unpre-
tentious provincial town with illlghted, illpaved
streets, with population renowned in those days
for its sury manners and uncouthness and with the iron
hand of militarism unchecked ALL the Christmas
festival the tranquil celebration of which has
read In the Lustgarten, before the castle Christmas
fair annually established which the king and royal
family used to visit to buy jumping jacks and ginger
bread for the palace Christmas trees like any other Ger
man family The Lustgaren fair has passed away the
king OF Prussia has become German emperor Berlin has
developed into fair and beautiful city, and all that
mains of the Christmas of upon time is the spirit
indeed precious inheritance. That still holds
preme sway, concealed branches of the
myrads of Christmas trees which rich and poor alike
up in their homes the of the feast
Otherwise the old German simplicity has vanished
In the house of the rich merchant electric lights take the
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

nue-or better. on Broadway, between
Twenty-eighth street and Forty-eighth
street. at p. m. The wearer would
receive real ovation.--From THE
Office Window" in the New York Mail.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
ATest.

Hubble, dear, do you love me
still?"
IF you'd only be still, my dear,
could tell you better"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Misunderstood.

Miss Goodrich hear your husband
is great lover Of the esthetic.
Mrs. Nurich-Oh, yes! He takes
one every time he gets his tooth pull
ed.-Stanford Chaparral
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
RUB-MY-TlSM

VIII cure your rheumatism and all
kinds Of aches and pains--Neuralgia,
Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns. etc. Antiseptic
Anodyne.' Price 25c.-Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
COLDS & IaGRIPPE

or doses $50 will break any case
of Chills & Fever, Colds G LaGrippe;
it acts on the liver better than Gallo
mel and does not grippe or sicken.
Price 25c--Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

They stop the tickle-Dean's Mentho
lated Cough Drops stop coughs by stop
ping the cause-5c at Drug Stores.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Speaking In q Business Way.

Don't you think that play Of yours
is a little risque?"
YES" replied the manager. IF
you can get play that is risky
enough, you've got sure thing"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Potatoes in Greenland do not grow
larger than an ordinary marble.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

HE Anglo-Saxon notion of the German
Christmas is drawn from childhood hours
spent over Hans Andersen and Grimm, and
the sight of Christmas tree brings to
mind the woodcutter tramping home
through the snow-laden forest, trailing be-
hind him the fir tree for his family Christ
mas celebration, while, in the towns, the
black quadrangle of the venerable market
nlace is nicked ont in lghts hlazing ON the
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Whenever You Need q General Tonic
Take Groves
The Old Standard
Groves 7aSfekeSS
chill Tonic

Is Equally Valuable General Strengthening Tonic Because Acts on the
Liver Dves Out Malaria Eches the Blood and Builds IN the Whole System
You know what taking when take Groves Taele chill Tonic az
the formula printed every LABEL showing that contains the wknow
QUNINE IRON equal for Malaria Ch and
Weakness Debility Appetite Gives life and vigor
Nursing Mothers Pale Sk Children. True Tonic and Sure Appiz
For people children Guaranteed Druggist We mean bO
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
HELPING SANTA CLAUS.

Within few years there have been organized several
associations whose purpose 1t is to assist parents espec
ally mothers in the proper development of their children
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

'She needs a new feather in her
hat. Judge.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

place of the Christ candles"
and the motor car or the
steam yacht which he gives
his son as a Christmas pres
ent can find no place under
the Christmas tree, as did the
WOODEN comforter, the hand
full OF gingerbread. or the
new skates in the day of his
father. Caruso or Destinn on
the gramophone take the
place of the Christmas hymns
which used to be sung as an
act of pious reverence to the
"Tannenbaum," or perhaps
even. horrible dictu, the tree
will be fastened to a clock
work continuance which. on
being wound UP. revolves to
a tune tangled out by a
musical box. The bullying
one-storied shops with ginger
bread and gilt angels stuck
in their diamond-paned win
dow fronts have vanished,
and their places are taken by
stores built on the same style
Of palataial magnificence as
/, .x<s-.<. A. AtIn.,t;1 E,ro,s, ~, ..
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Important to Mothere
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that II
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces innamna-
sion, aiiays pain,cures wind oeiic, SO bottleLA
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19

Humorous Department.
What will we do at the dance IL the
chaperon won't let us Boston,"
That's easy. Well just grin and
bear Minnesota Minnehaha.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Accounting for Il.

: Accounting for II.
How very stiff those new people
are"
"Yes; they made their money in
starch" "a
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-12-19
Memphis Directory

LAX-ANA, s'sure Chill Killer Kfy-IAx, best tonic
known for liver and headaches-- without caIomcl,
Dr. Deuglas Wine Tonic fer wemenfresh strong Sold
BY all druggists. rnfone i,rlg mfg Co. Tena.
Evening star., 1913-04-03
Doctors Use
This for Eczema

DIR. Evans, Ex-Commissioner OF Health. says:
There is almost no relation between skin dis
eases and the blood" The skin must be cured
through the skin. The germs must be washed
out and so salves have long ago been found
worthless. The most advanced physicians of this
country are now agreed on this, and are preserib-
ing wash Of wintergreen. thymol and other
ingredients for eczema and all other skin dis
eases. This compound is known as D.D.D. Pre-
scription for Eczema.
DR.. Holmes, the we'll known skin specialist,
writes: ~ am convinced that the ODD Pre-
scrlption is as much a specific for eczema as
auinine for malaria. have been prescribing the
Odd. remedy for years" 1t will take away
the itch the instant you apply 1t.
In fact, we are SO sure Of what Odd. will
do for you that we will be glad to let you have
q 81 bottle on guarantee that it will cost you
nothing unless you lind that 1t does the work
Ask us also about Odd. Soap. 1t he.ps.
0'D0nneli's Drug Store.