Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1913-08-20
The Elimination of
Arizona Joe
By EDWARD SWIFT

was then called the far west-there Is
10 FAR west now which half a century
ago was a low down" settlement. For
time there was gun law only; then
Judge Lynch stepped In and improved
things somewhat. Shooting was re
duced to few These few killed one
another or were killed by some one
else. except Arizona Joe. who came
| from the worst territory on the CONT
nent of America. Joe was left like
noxious weed In garden and had be
come altogether undesirable.
Perhaps q deep rooted stump IN a
clearing would be better smile. for a
weed is easily dug up. while a stump
clings tightly TO the soil At any rate.
to get rid OF Joe, though necessary to
the further development OF Arlington,
was hard proposition. Indeed. II was
the consensus of opinion that be might
be allowed to remain since all of his
kind except himself having been killed
there would be no further food for his
powder. But Joe took II upon himself
to shoot strangers who came to town.
and this was not only immoral. but In
| terfered with the mercantile prosperity
of Its citizens.
Prominent men of the town held
meeting and agreed each to pull num-
Der from n hat-one. tive three. etc
he drawing one TO try TO kill Joe and.
! II he failed. to be followed by the rest
In order OF number TIN dozen had
been killed or Joe got rid of But
the purpose OF taking the matter into
their own hands Mrs. Dowiy arose
| and said:
Ladies'. you all know that there's
only one way for woman to get the
bulge on mnn-that's to marry him.
I III engage to hire a woman who will
tame Arizona Joe. She came to these
parts ten years ago-from jail. reck.
on and has had seven husbands In
the meantime. The first got drowned
while they was crossin' a bridge to-
gethe- dispurin' over a counterfeit bill
! When she got tired OF the second she
set vigilance committee on him. and
he dangled at the limb Of a tree. The
third she shot In the back while he
was windin' the clock. The fourth
Never mind any more OF these in
teresting fnc's." interrupted one Of the
ladies' How much money would be
j requiredy'
II reckon S2po would be ample com
pensation. Mrs. vendig that's her
last name--could be got for that. and |
propose TO work II by maxim match
between her and Joe II we can do Il
Wen have no more trouble with him.
] assure you"
What makes you think he'll marry
herY'
Because she's good iookiD' and has
winnin way with her Ton know
how 1t Is yourself. a woman can soft
solder a man mighty tne I'LL she's
married TO him ana give him the lash
after the ceremony has been per
formed"
The money was raised and Mrs. Ven
digs services engaged. She came TO
town. met Joe on the street smiled al
him Delilah like. and be fell into the
trap The secret was known to every.
body In town except the victim. THREE
days after the meeting Mrs. Vendig
became Mrs. Joe--no other name was
required by the simple marriage eere
mony used. which was a S"otch mu
tual pledge without witnesses-and the
two set mp housekeeping In the cabin
Joe had previously occupied alone.
During the evening OF the nnptials
sounds were heard TO emanate from
their cabin denoting family jar. The
neighbors came to their doors or put
their heads out of the windows 10
watch for what might happen The
sounds grew louder and fercer and
deeper and shriller. and presently the
door was opened. body was thrown
out aud the door slammed to and bolt
ed. Mrs. Joe had been elected.
She had been a trife stunned by her
fall. but got up aud. going to the door.
began to hammer on II. scolding. yell
ing, shrieking Joe was obliged to lis
ten to epithet after epIthet spoken In
tone that wouid make the blood OF the
stoutest man curdle and accompanied
BY vigorous kicks on the door The
peace OF the town was disturbed. but
| the citizens didn't mind II a bit so long
as the object was accomplished.
Midnight came and there was no
dlminntion to the howlings. the kick
ings. the epithets. The citizens living
near got tired OF IL and went OF to
other parts Of the town 10 sleep. Dawn
appeared. but there was no cessation
of the noise. The sun rise and sound
as of a battering came against door,
| awakening those living at the other
end OF the town man living oppo-
site the home OF the newly welded
couple put his head out OF his window
and saw Mrs Joe trying to batter
down the door Then be heard q mans
voice from within cry ont:
go away and ri come out You
can have the outfit"