davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
HIS RETURN BANQUET.


It Was Grand Social Success and
Cost the Major Nothing,
A veteran officer in the United States
army recently told Of the Shrewdness
displayed by Il major in the old days.
He had been appointed to the com
mand of an army post on IN island not
Il great way from San Francisco.
Soon after his arrival there French
fleet dropped anchor in the harbor
The commander invited the major
aboard the flagship and entertained
him royalty.
The idea struck the worthy major the
next day that he was in honor bound
to return the compliment, but he was
staggered by the expense involved
To give Il banquet be6tting his dig
nifty AS United States officer enter
tanning distinguished representative
of Il foreign nation would mean bank
ruptcy. as the government had not au-
thOri2ed him. to draw on its treasury
for such Il purpose. and the cost of the
affair would have to come out of his
own pocket. A bright idea struck him.
He invited the naval visitors to be
his guests the third day thereafter at
an "AmericHn picnic" Then he sent
invitations to the hest people of the
neighborhood to join him in basket
picnic at Il grove near ut hand on the
same day, "to meet our French naval
friends now on our shores"
The people came With greet baskets
and hampers of provisions. A roya
feast was spread in the grove. and the
picnic was long remembered as one Of
the most notable social successes OF
its time.-Chicago Record Herald
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Nicely ARRANGED,

1t Is related that the negroes were
once greatly excited in johannesburg
over a rumor of Kaffir uprising. One
white woman said to her black boy:
you wouldn't kill your missus,
would your
"Oh. no." the boy replied; boy next
door kill you, and kill his missus,"
The affair, it seemed, had all been
arranged, and very delicately at that
This boys name was Machinery
The blacks take any name they heal
used among the whites, and "Machin'
cry is very common name 10 Johan'
nesburg.-E. W. Howe's Monthly.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Appropriate.

A Milwaukee man went to order q
wedding cake the other day.
I'm getting married" he said, land
| want Il cake"
"WeIl, it's the latest thing" said the
salesgirl Ito have wedding cakes in
harmony with the bridegroOm's calling
or profession. Thus journalist has d
spice cake, musician an Oat cake, an
athlete cup cake, a man who loafs or
his friends sponge cake. and SO forth
and so on. What is your calling
please"
81 am a pianist"
Then, of course" said the girl, you'll
want a pound cake."-Exchange.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

England's censorship Of the drama
caused Fielding to turn from play
writing to novel writing. Fielding
began his literary career as a dramat-
lst, and by his political satires brought
about the establishment Of the censor
ship in 1887. the bill being introduced
by Walpole, one of Fielding's victims,
With playwritlug thus barred to him.
he turned his attention to the novel.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Her Substitute For Oil Of Birch.

Instead of yanking them into the
house and giving them the "lammlnE
they deserve. an AtchiSon woman VINO
was a schoolteacher for many years
is trying the following method win
her obstreperous children: She calls
them 70 her and says. sOlemnly ana
precisely, "My sons, am surprised at
disgusted with, disappointed IN aho
ashamed of you" kansas City Jour
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

Take HERBINE for all disturb
ances in the bowels. 1t purifies the
bowel channels, promotes regular
movements and makes you feel bright
vigorous and cheerful. Price Soc
Sold by Ackerman-Stewart Drug Co.,
and ]. H. Haughton.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Home Manners.

Mr.. Pester-Mr. Pleasanton has such
DELIGHTFULLY."- agreeable manners. sup
pose he acquired them while living at
home.
Mrs. Pester-Hardly! Men as a gen
eral rule seem to regard home as a
place where they don't have to be po-
Iite.-Boston Record.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

These shoes you sold me last week
squeak so that they actually keep md
awake nights" said the customer, en-,
tering the shoe store.
My dear sir" replied the shoe deal.
er reassuringly, you shouldn't sleep
In them."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

FOR SALE-Forty-two (42l acres, all
fenced, hog proof, twenty-five (25D
acres cleared, three years, and has all
produced fine potatoes. Will sell, OF
exchange for city property in Palatka.
Hart Gibson Agent, Clifton, Sta, Va.
One half.mile from East Palatka.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
lrrepressihle.

Johnny, I'm afraid I'll have to whip
you" said the mother of an incorrigi
BILE yOungster.
"AIl right mamma" he replied. And
after you whip me, may | have the
whip to play horse with ?"-Chicagu
News
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
GeneraIIy the Case.

81 wish you would mention this to
links. 1t is highly important
"TU mention II to him today"
But how do you know you Will see
him todayY"
I'm bound to bump into him. ! owe
him money."-St. Paul Pioneer Press
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

Check a cough or cold in the lungs
before it develops a serious case.
BALLARD'S HOREHOUND SYRUP
is an effective remedy for all soreness
or congestion in the lungs or air pas
sages. Price 25c, soc and $l.OO per
bottle. Sold by Ackerman-Stewart
Drug Co., and j. II. Haughton.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Cutting II Short.

Tourist IeXasperated at not beint
able to get a satisfactory answer
But. hang it all. man, you surely must
know how far it is to the station Is il
three miles? Road Mender-N-no, EUR
it amt SO far as that-nOt if you 'urry.
London Taller.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
The Best Part.

Tommy, did you give your brother
the best part of the apple, as l told
you TOT"
"Yessum. gave him the seeds. He
can plant them and have a whole or
chard."
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Timely Caution.

'aThe nurse Is a suffragette."
swell, ask her to say nothing on the
subject of votes for women in the hear
ing of baby. Baby wants too many
things already that are out Of her
reaeh."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Soma of the East Indian LabOrer.

When drawing water from the wells,
the man in charge of the operation in
variably encourages the bullocks with
a CHEEKY sing-song, at the critical
moment when they are raising the
heavy leather pouch of water from the
well, aud if he was to remain silent
the Indian bullock, who is strong
conservative, would certainly refuse to
start. once listened to the song
which the men sang when they were
making mortar. 1t was something like
this: oh bullocks! what work you
are doing, going round and round max
ing mortar for the masons. Oh, bull
locks. go faster, go faster! The masonS
will cry out, oh, bullscks, for more
mortar-more mortar. SO go faster,
go fasterw-From India and the In
dians."
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
On the Blacklist.

Tramp No. lis this good town?
Tramp No. Pho; awful! had three
jobs offered me in one day.-London
Mail.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Means Plenty of Chicken,

Miss Snowaake-Does yo' believe in
wishbones? Mr. JacksOn-W'y, it's a
sign OBJ exceptional luck to hab a fresh
one in youah pocket every day or two
-puck
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Rah. Rah, In Germany.

Theater Official ito studentsl-YoU
are not allowed to join in the chorus,
gentlemen. Students-DOn't you wOr
ry. We are singing something quite
different.-Fliegende Rlatter.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
His Definition,

What is your idea Of high tinanceT'
ut is school of fiction" replied Mr..
Dustin Stax, "in which mathematics
takes the place of language."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Then He Went.

He-As was saying, Miss Maymie'
when start out to do a thing stay
on the job. Tm no gutter. She (Wlth
a weary yawn,-Don't l know IT.
Baltimore American.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Didn't Keep 1t.

Nell She took her husbands name
I'm vain Belle What do you mean
NplI-Iu other words, she's divorced
Philadelphia Record.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Man and His WEIGHT.

A well proportioned man should
weigh two and one-third pounds for
every inch Of his height,
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

Moderation is the pleasure Of those
who are wise
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

Mica is produced commercially by
eight states, North Carolina leading III
the industry.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19

The truest self respect is not to think
of self.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-09-19
Florida East Coast Railway.
IoC.1 Tn,p C,pn NJ Inn IN FFFECT APRIL 1913

Trains are daily except Sunday.
4 MIXED freight and Passenger South Of Miami.
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17

from Michigan cities, the following
statement is commended TO the at
tention of all owners. manufacturers
and retailers OF automobiles. motor
trucks and motorcycles
In the first place, the new law does
not go into effect until Jan. |, 1914.
This means that all owners OF motor
vehicles will this year pay taxes the
same as before.
Next New Years Day all motor We
hicles will be stricken from the tax
rolls. From that day on nobody will
have TO pay any local, county or state
taxes on his machine. But when
owners apply to the secretary OF state
for their annual license plate they
will have to pay fee Of so cents per
horse power on their machines. The
annual license fee since the first law
was enacted on the subject, ia 1909,
has been $S on every motor vehicle,
irrespective Of size or horse power.
Motorcycles have been paying the
same as motor cars.
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17
High School Meet
First Annual County Event at
Boync City. May 24th.

Through the cooperation OF the
County Y. M. &. A. and the school
authorities Of the three high schools
OF the county IL has been arranged to
hold annual high school track meets
Ia the county. The work is handled
by committee composed Of the high
school athletic director and two stu
dent representatives from each school
aud the secretary Of the Y. N. y: A.
This committee voted TO hold the first
meet at BOyne City on the oath and
That after this year IL shall be held at
East Jordan and Charlevoix before
coming lack To Bovne City. The
high school students of Boyue City
are making plans TO have everything
in shape that their visitors will have
a most enjoyable time and feel that
Boync City can treat them In thor
uughly sportsman like manner. The
following list of events make up the
forenoon program and will begin at
1000 A. M.,-Standing broad jump,
running broad jump, running high
jump, baseball throw, shot put and
one hundred yard dash. Every boy
entering the meet will compete in
each one OF the events Of the morn
ing's program. The events for the
afternoon will begin at l:30. Each boy
will be allowed to choose one event
from the following list besides the re-
lay,-22O, 440, $50 yard dashes, one
mile race. two relay races, pole vault
and discus throw. Those wishing to
attend this meet should make arrange
menis with the high school principal
for the high school is making arrange
ments TO charter the boat.
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17
RURAL SCHOOL ATHLETICS

The rural school athletic contest
held at Marion Center last Friday for
the schools Of Marion and Norwood
townships adds another link TO the
chain Of evidence which goes to prove
thai the boys and girls of the rural
schools enjoy and profit by organized
athletic life.
The day for the meet was an ex-
ceptionally cold one and as the secie-
tary OF the county y. NJ. e. A. drove
from Boyne City to Marion Center he
doubted il any OF the boys and girls
would be ready to participate. Ar.
irving at his destination his wonder
ings were put at rest for the young
sters were coming from all four direc
tiOns eager to take up tue CONFLICT
which provided an outlet for their
stored up energy. AT ten o'clock the
Y. N. G. A. secretary, assisted by five
young men frum Charlevoix, began
the meet. Athletic contests for the
boys were first In order, the lads he.
ing divided into classes according to
weight and all striving for the honor
OF their school. The events included
those OF the ordinary field meet and
concluded with relay race which
was won by Miss Lula Mason's school,
Marion District 3. This school also
won first place 10 the meet, aud Miss
Mary Gunsolus' school won second
place. George Mayer Of Norwood No.
! made the highest number Of points
and was awarded the bronze medal.
At noon everyone was ready to rest
for time and also enjoy the splen.
did dinner provided by the interested
ladies Of the community who laid
ASIDE their other work that they
might contribute something to the
success OF the day. After dinner the
contests we're resumed and out door
games for the girls started Ind IL was
happy, busy time. and sume who
came to watch for, short time
STAYED all the day No one who likes
children could fail u enjoy seeing the
children enjoy themselves so heartily.
The comments OF the fathers, moth
ers. teachers aud the county school
commissioner indicated that in their
opinion the day had been the best ev.
er provided for the rural school child
ren.
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17
"Swat the Fly. %
Follow Below Suggestions and
Eliminate Pest.

Don't allow flies In your house.
Don't permit them near your food
especially milk.
Don't buy foodstuffs where flies are
tolerated.
Don't eat where flies have access to
the food.
Flies are the most dangerous insects
known To man.
Flies are the tjlthiest of all vermIn
They are born on filth, live on filth,
end carry filth around with them
They are maggots before they are
flies.
Flies are known TO be carriers OF
millions of death dealing disease
germs. They leave some Of these
germs wherever they alight.
How You Can Get Rid of Flies
Screen your windows, porches and
doors. II you have screens with holes
Ia the wire cloth. repair same with
new cloth Screen the baby's bed.
Screen all food, especially milk. DO
not eat food that has been Ia contact
with flies. Catch the flies as fast as
they appear. Use fly swatters, liquid
poisons or fly traps. Sticky fly papers
are very effective, sanitary and non-
poisonous.
A good fly poison can be made by
using ore pint Of milk, one pint or
water, one tablespoon formaldehyde
and one tablespoon Of sugar. Place
in shallow vessels small square pieces
Of bread thoroughly saturated with
this mixture. Be careful TO keep it.
out of the reach of the children and
animals Put vessel or two Of this
mixture on the back porch, To destroy
the flies before they get into the
house. No other food should be near,
then the flies will take the poison.
killing them quickly and by the
thousands.
Eliminate Breeding Places of Flies,
Flies breed in filth. Allow no filth
or decaying matter of any kind to ac.
cumulate on or near your premises.
Sprinkle kerosene over contents OF
privy vaults. Keep garbage recep--
tacles tightly covered; clean the cans
every day, and the boxes once a week.
Always keep the ground clean around
garbage boxes.
Keep manure in screened pit or
tightly covered vault.
Manure should be removed every
week. at least.
Burn all refuse-such as old bedding
paper, straw, etc.
Remember, No dirt--no flies.
in the neighb0rhood
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17
MADE A RECORD
Three Bells School Has En-
viable Attendance.

The Three Bells School, District No.
2, Eveline township has made an en-
viable attendance record through the
efforts of their instructor, Ernest
Peaslee.
With some thirty-tive pupils enrolled
there Ia not tardy mark registered
against any OF the scholars for the
entire school year. Eight pupils
were neither absent nor tardy for the
full year, and nineteen Others have
not been absent for three months or
more.
The pupils have a record Of one
hundred eighty perfect months.
Mr.. Peaslee is to be congratulated
on the record shown by his school.
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17

levied according To frontage, and
which said sum TO be raised by said
special assessment ~ hereby deter
mined and fixed at the sum OF three
thousand nine hundred tIiirty-seyen
dollars and forty seven cents, tss937 All
Adopted by the CITY Commission OF
the City of East Jordan 'on the, thir-
teenth day Of May. p. 1913, by an
aye and nay vote az follows: -vls
Ayes, Cross, Kenny, and Hudson.
Nays, nones iieJ he7 S4s 1ssi,'
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17

tersections and benefits to public parks
and public places. shall be assessed ~
the City OF East Jord"n. which amount
has sfbeenrdetermined by.this Comnis-
sion at the sum OF one Thousand tn. &c
hundred twelve dollars and forty-nine
cents. (sl3l2. 49
1t is further ordered that the cuJire
assessment against any lot or parcel
Of land shall not exceed twenty i've
per cent ~ the assessed valuation ,jf
said lot or parcel OF land according to
the last preceding assessment roll
thereof. nor shall said special assess
ment eXCeec five per cent of said valu-
alton In any Que year; and in case any
such assessment agains. any lot or
parcel shall show any such excess
then the amount Of such excess shall
be paid by the city uf Eas. Jordan out
Of The general fund OF said city. aud
such assessment shall be valid aud u
lien upon such lot or parcel Of land
for the whole amount legally assessed
thereon.
II is further ordrcd that said Assess.
or report saiG such roll To this Com
mission and file the same with the
clerk Of the City on or before the lst
day OF July. A. u. 1918.
Adopted by the City Commission OF
the CITY nf East Jordan on the thir-
teenth day Of May, A. D. 1919. by an
aye and nay vote as follows;
Ayes. Cross. Kenny and Hudson.
Nayes. none. .,-, s.
(Continued on Page 4)
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17


The City Commission OF the City OF
East Jordan having under considera-
tion the matter of paving Main street
from the north line OF. Garfield street
to the north line OF Division street.
Commissioner Hudson offered the fol-
lowing resolution and moved its adop-
tion. Seconded .aby Commissioner
Kenny. riS3il"f 2']f a'sct '-
Resolved. That the Assessor Of the
CITY Of East Jordan be, and he hereby
is, ordered to prepare a,special assess
ment roll for the payment OF part Of
the cost Of the, paving of Main street
from the north line of Garfield street
To the north line Of Division street.
which this CemI0ission hasdetermined
shall be paid by special assessment TO
be levied upon the lots, lands and
premises fronting and abnttiDg Upon
such improvement, according to front
age. Said roll shall levy the sum OF
three thousand nine hundred thirty
seven dollars and forty-sevep cents,
($3957 Az the sa me sbeipg seyenty-fve
per cent of the cost fof said improve
ment after deducting therefrom the
amount apportioned to'be paid by"the
City Of East Jordan as its just pro-
portion of the cost OF paving the
street aud alley Intersections and beD-
etits to public parks and public places,
Said special assessment roll shall be
made ny said Assessor In accordance
with the provisions OF the Charter Of
the City of East Jordan and the
Statutes OF the State Of Michigan.
Said assessment roll shall assess all
lots, lands and premises in said Paw
ing District No., according to 'front.'
age, and said AssessorShall .assess TO.
each lot or parcel of land such rela-
tive portion OF the whole amount as
the length Of front ofsuch premises
abutting upon the Improvement bears
to the whole frontage OF all the lots
to be assessed, unless on account OF
the shape OF any lot an assessment Of
a different number OF feet would be
more equitable, in which case such
assessment will be for an equitable
number of feet for such lot. = 90
1t is further ordered that snch as
sesment when so made shall be divid-
ed into five equal parts. one part TO be
collected this year and one part each
and every year thereafter, until the
whole amount is paid and collected.
The time and manner OF the collection
shall be determined by this Commits
sion in a resolution hereafter to be
adopted.
The cost Of said Improvements al the
intersection of streets and allevs and
the benefits derived hy public parks
and public places, heretofore deter
mined by this Commission. at the sum
OF six hundred sixty dollars, lSe60.OO)
shall be assessed against the City Of
East Jordan -.a-,s. .-.,-.-.
The twenty-five per cent OF the cost
Of said improvement after the dednc.
ton of the amount appottioned 10 the
City as the cost Of sire, and alley in
Charlevoix county herald., 1913-05-17

The City Commission Of the city of
East Jordan having under considera-
tion the paving on Mill. Main aud Es-
terly streets Commissioner Hudson
offered the following resolution and
moved its adoption. Seconded by
Commissioners Kenny.
Whereas. the second part or install
ment OF the special assessment levied
On paving District No. /, eor the paw
ing OF Mill street from. the east line
of Third street 10 the East jordan
and Southern Railroad tracks, Main
street from the north line OF Mill ST.
TO the north line of Garfield street
aud Esterly street adistance OF one
bundled feet east from the east line
of Main street and ten feet west from
the west line Of Nam street, is now
due, therefore.
Resolved. that the city Assessor OF
the city Of East Jordan he, and hereby
is, ordered and directed 10 spread up
on the assessment roll Of said city
with the regular summer tax to be
spread upon said roll for the year A :.
ID. 1913, the second insts sllment OF the
special assessment heretofore levied
upon paving District No. /, as hereto
fore determined for the aforesaid paw
ing. Said special assessment shall be
entered in said roll in two separate
columns. one for the amount of the
second part or installment and the
other for the interest due thereon.
The entire assessment against any
lot or parcel OF land shall not exceed
70 per cent Of the assessed valuation
OF such lot or parcel, nor more than
five per cent In any one year. Such
excess shall be LEVIED against the city
OF East Jordan To be paid out of the
general fund.
Said roll shall assess all lands aud
premises included in said paving Dis
trict No. /, according To frontage,
and said assessor shall assess to each
lot or parcel of land such relative
portion of the whole amount TO be
assessed in the year 1919 as the length
OF front Of such premises abutting up
on the improvement bears 10 the
whole frontage OF all the lots to be
assessed. unless on account of the
shape or size Of any lot or parcel of
land an assessment OF different
number OF feet would be more equita-
BILE. In which case such assessment
shall he for an equitable number of
feet for the lot.
The special assessment to be raised
In the wear A. ID. 1913 shall be the
sum OF two Thousand two hundred fif-
teen dollars. being he second
part or installment OF said special
assessment. and the further sum 0f
five hundred thirty-one and 60-lO0 dol
lars as interest on unpaid boz ds issued
therefore, the monev thus 10 be
raised to be used in payment Of said
bonds.
AdoUted by the City Commission Of
the city of East Jordan on the thir-
teenth day OF May, A. ID. 1919, by and
aye and nay vote as follows;
Ayes. Cross, Hudson and Kenny.
NAYS, none.