davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19

OF all of the wearisome chinners
With which our great planet Is
cursed
The ones who perform at our din
Stand out as decidedly worst:
In hamlet and village and city,
In English and Irish and Dutch,
They say things they label as
witty,
But who would consider them
such?
They hem and they haw and they
ramble,
They humble and grumhle and
drone,
For their thoughts are a mess and
a scramble
And you sit at the table and
groan;
Yet you linger and linger, still
hoping
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
WILSON'S LATEST JOKE
BY OLIVER p. NEWMAN.

WASHINGTON D. c.; May 19.-Presdent Wilson has dis
like everybody that there people in
the world who when crisis Of kind confronts them turn
of shoudering the responsible
Illustrating point recently, told this
"a scotchman, dog passing fish marxet when
lobster thrust basket and grabbed the dogs TAIL
The yeng the rect and the cried to
Whistle dog The Scotchman turned
contemptuousy and replied: w husse for your lobster
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
PANTAGES

"Those Four Kids" a humorous
act at Pantages' theater, are ia
vorites with audiences this week.
La Estralita, a graceful and
clever Spanish dancer, ranks well
in favor with patrons of the
vaudeville house.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
Turning the Phrase.

"They used to call him bone
head"
THAT was before he succeed
ed"
eyes. Now they express 1t diff
ferently. They call him a man of
hard. solid sense. The Wash
ington Star, 20
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
johnny Knew.

Nov, Johnny" asked the gen.
tleman who had consented to
teach the class, "what does this
fascinating story of Jonah and
the whale teach us?"
at teaches u.s." said Johnny,
whose father reads practical arti-
Giles on practical people, that
you cannot keep a good man
down."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
"The Case of Becky"

Frances Starr, in her latest
eastern success, "The Case of
Becky" will bring her entire
original company to Tacoma for
performances Friday and Satur-
day. Miss Starr is rapidly be-
coming one of the most popular
actresses in America, and the
large advance sale for tickets at
the Tacoma theater has warrant
ed good houses for both per-
formances.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
POS 3:2:lSElZ
81 BERTpN BRALTT


For some one with something
to say,
But the speakers keep fumbling
and cropping ~
Like a ship in a fog gone
astray.
And the speaking flows on like a
river,
A river that's sluggish and
slow,
And we pray to the fates to de-
liver
Ourselves from our boredom
and woe;
If Satan would torture the sim
ners
In quite the most horrible
style,
He'd send them forever to din
ners
To listen to speech by the mile!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
MELBOURNE

The feature film, 1.-THE Man
Who Tried to Forget" will be
seen at the Melbourne theater for
the last time this afternoon and
this evening. The drama is strong
and interesting.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
IL THE A T Err S ii
THEATRICAL.

Q Tacoma-Frances Starr, @
o in 1.-THE Case of Becky" Fri Q
. day and Saturday. .
@ Raymond Hitchcock, in I.
O "The Red Widow" Sunday +.
@ and Monday. g
o Princess - Miss Warda @
o Howard and company in O
Q "Wildfire." o
o Pantages = La Estrelita, o
O the Cora Youngblood Corson Q
O Sextet, and good vaudeville. o
. Melbourne-Latest posed, @
D scientific and news motion Q
o pictures. .
o o o O o o o . o o . . o o &
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
IntrOspection.

Strickland w. Gillian has a A.
year-old son whose pet is a turtle,
according to the Newark News.
One day the youngster, after a
period of thinking, announced:
81 wisht I was a TURTLE
"Why?"
Because when I had a pain I
could pull my head inside me and
look around to see what the trou-
BILE was"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19
Sticking Around

A fly had just got stuck on
some fly paper.
"Come with me-" said a COM
panion, lifting his wings and
starting off.
/ NO." said the detained one,
81 guess I'll stick aroundl a
while. The Chicago Record
Herold. 81
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19

Seems to be an awful task for governor to get a
private secretary,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19

The Yakima minister who quit when his congrega-
ton began to make charges against him and went to
farming, evidently believes the world needs less
preaching and more blowing
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-19

You can't go fishing now without first consulting
the county auditor about it and handing ST., which
certainly is carrying the license proposition to fine
point.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
DEVOTION FOR AUGUST.

The special devotion for the month
o, August is the Sacred Heart OF
Mary. This devotion is a counter
part of the devotion to the Sacred
Heart of Jesus. Mary is our spiritual
mother We became her children
when she suffered the eXcruciating
torture witnessing her divine Son
dying nailed to the cross Behold
thy son." "Rehold thy mother" +"
With the first Jesus impaired the
spiritual maternity, and also the
love for us, her chill
dren. We all have a place in her
heart; she feels for us all, and the
greater our needs and the more help
loss we are, the more does our condit
tion appeal to her maternal heart.
Unlike our mother by nature, she is
in her intercession. We
never appeal to her in vain. She Is
"our life, our sweetness, our hope. I"
She is most powerful, most faithful,
the refuge of sinners, the help of
Christians. Blessed shall we ever
be if we cultivate a most trusting, a
most loyal, most filial spirit to
Mary, our spiritual mother.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
BIG DAY FOR ALL.

Rev. Father Fitzgerald and the
committees in charge of the picnic
OF st. Leo's congregation, TO be held
In Highland Park next Wednesday
afternoon and night, have de-
termined to make this years outing
the biggest and best in the history
of the parish. They claim they owe
1t to the patrons, for it is the big
event and people from all parts Of
the city turn out for the day and a
good share of the night and enjoy
the fresh air and cooling breezes.
Euchre and lotto will begin at $3.50
o'clock, and in addition there will
be refreshments and ampsements Of
all kinds and a sumptuous country
dinner. Prizes of great value will
be awarded both ticket-hclders and
players. There will be something
doing every minute and none should
miss this chance of having a good
time. Mark down the date, August
s, cancel all other engagements and
take the Second-street ears for
Highland Park. This outing will
greatly promote the formation of
new friendships and should easily
attain glorious results.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
FoREsTERs' CONVENTION.

After months of hard work the
local members of the Catholic Order
OF Foresters have everything in good
shape for the twenty-first biennial
convention of the order, which will
be held at the Seelbach next Tues
day, Wednesday and Thursday. The
committees appointed to look after
the various arrangements and de-
tails of the entertainments sub
mitted complete reports at the meet
ing of Central Chapter on Wednes-
day morning. A solemn high mass
on Tuesday at o'clock at the
Cathedral will be the opening cere-
mony of the convention. At IL
o'clock the convention will be for
mally opened with addresses of well
come by the Right Rev. Bishop Denis
O'Dcnaghue, Lieut.. Gov. E. ]. Nc
Dermott, Mayor w. o. Head anc
Camden r. McAtee. Over 300 dele
gates have signified their intention
Of attending the convention, and an
equal number of ladies and visitors
are expected. Also all of the past
chief officers of the organization
will be in attendance. The social
features include barbecue at
Spring Bank Park on Tuesday even
ing, an automobile ride and soiree
at Fontaine Ferry on wednesday,
with a moonlight excursion Thurs
day night as the final entertainment
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
CROWDED WITH KNIGHTS.

Boston will be crowded with
Knights of Columbus next week
when the national convention of he
order will be held in that city. The
gathering will be really OF mn inter-
national character, for there will be
delegates present from Cuba,
Porto Rico, Mexico and Canada, as
well as from every State and Terri
tory of the United States, represent
ing a total membership on June l,
1918, of nearly 100000 men, or to
be exact 29S,906 devoted to their
church and native land. The gem
eral features of the convention week
programme will include a reception
to the incoming Knights, sail down
the harbor, solemn high mass at the
Cathedral of the Holy Cross, busi-
ness meetings, automobile drives,
and the laying of the cornerstone of
the new building of Mt Benedict
Council at Loweville by Supreme
Knight James A. Flaherty. The con-
vention will close with a grand re-
ception and ball at the Hotel Somer-
set,
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
CLIFF HAVEN.

With more than 500 people now
sojourning on the beautiful grounds
at Cliff Haven, the Catholic Summer
School is preparing for a banner
month of August. Never before in
the history of the institution has so
much interest been manifested in all
the varied fields of summer school
activity as is now being evidenced.
The lectures are daily crowded with
eager and enthusiastic audiences,
the dances we're never so popular,
card parties never so we'll attended.
and with all this the rapid success
sion of athletic events and tourna-
ments makes life one continuous
whirl of healthful, wholesome
amusement. The family gathering
Sunday evening drew to the audi
torium crowd which taxed the seat
ing capacity of the building. Nearly
every person on the grounds was
present when the opening number
was rendered. The progremme for
the evening was long and varied
one full. of music, entertainment
and instruction. During the week
lectures were delivered by Rev.
Cornelius ]. Clifford, Rev. Charles
Bruehl, DR.. William Henry Ather-
ton, Prof. William F. Hirschmann
and Miss Katherine DAILY
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
ENTHUSIASTIC.

In spite of the torrid weather one
OF the best attendances of the year
was present at the meeting of Divis'
len 4, A. o. H., on Monday evening
in Bertrand Hall and much en-
thusiasm was manifested in the
coming picnic under the auspices OF
the County Board County President
w. J. Connolly was present and
urged the members to take advan-
tage of the provision which allows
the divisions and the Ladies' Aux
iliary to keep the receipts of all
tickets sold, this being a splendid OPP
portunity for each to fatten their re-
spective treasures President John
II. Hennessy appointed 7. J, Meany,
Fred Mooney, James FiIburn.
Thomas Farrell and Bernard Muldoon
to serve as the Picnic Committee
from the division. Michael Ward
and Patrick Mangan were reported
OH the sick list by the Visiting Com
mittee.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
BARBECUE A SUCCESS.

The barbecue and fish fry of the
Spring Bank Club on Thursday and
Friday of last week was an unQuali-
fled success despite the showers OF
the first day. There were all kinds
of amusements on the Midway and
q number of popular booths. One of
the most popular of these was the
one where ladies bartered away
home made cakes, and whore there
was an interesting contest for the
.hree-foot high and handsomely dec
Grated cake donated by Col. Andy
Kast. A feature that attracted much
interest was Policeman John Kelly'S
swim across the river, accompanied
by John Tully, the old life-saver, and
he distance contests by Louisvilles
leading swimmers. The meats, the
burgoo and the fish were enjoyed
by thousands, and the verdict was
that Col Whallen and the Spring
Bank Club lead when it comes to
this form of entertainment.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
UNITED IRISH LEAGUE.

The National Executive Committee
OF the United Irish League will meet
in Boston this Sunday to arrange a
programme of final rallies in all
parts of this country during the next
seven months to encourage the Irish
Parliamentary party by letting the
English people know that the Irish
in America have lost none of their
interest in home rule. There is yet
to- be raised a considerable part of
the 100000 pledged by this coun-
try last year, and the Executive Com
mittee will devise a plan of obtain
ing the remainder as well as map
ping out a programme of mass
meetings to be conducted in every
city in the country. The Irish race
in this country is requested by Ma
tional President Michael ]. Ryan, of
Philadelphia, to help in a financial
way to bear some of the burdens of
the old struggle. The money that
is subscribed is used in the propa-
Sganda maintained throughout the
yBritish empire. The campaign OF
slander carried on by a miserable fac
ton of the Irish people and the ap-
peals to ignorance and bigotry must
be met with the weapons of truth
and the villifiers of the people must
be answered in meeting, in pamphlet
and through the press.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
FAvoRs TELEPHONE MERGER

Mayor Head has under way a
movement that would end the
troubles heretofore existing between
abe telephone companies and their
subscribers which has the indorse-
ment of the business public. The
Cumberland offers to settle it's de-
linquencies here, but Mayor Head
is working for merger of the two
companies with a view of relieving
subscribers of the necessity of pay
ing double toll. While not ready
to commit himself. Mayor Head said
Wednesday that he was devoting a
great deal of time to the telephone
proposition and merger. Among
other things he is looking into tele-
phone franchises in other cities, in
order that he may become thor
oughly informed relative to rates.
When asked what he thought the
rates should be, in case merger is
effected, he replied that in his opin-
ion the rates should be lower than
those charged at present by the
Cumberland Company. He said he
would not favor a merger without
franchise with the same provisions
for safeguarding the public against
high rates and poor service as are
contained in the franchise under
which gas and electricity is being
sold in Louisville.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02

Thirty-sixth district, Charles II.
Knight, former Representative, ap-
pears a sure winner, his opponent
being handicapped with the support
of Dan O'Sullivan, who, although
out of touch and out of harmony
with the local Democracy, aspires to
help select a standard-bearer for the
Democrats in November. The un-
derhanded methods used to injure
Mr.. Knight will only serve to in
crease his majority, as Democracy is
not in sympathy with the circulators
of anonymous literature. ''Billy"
Kuh, the only former city Repre-
sentative with contest today. is
a big favorite and will win in a COM
mon canter, as the turf critics say.
In spite OF the assertions of the
Progressive party organ, the Herald,
the Democratic Committee has pur-
sued a hands-off policy in all the
primary races, Chairman Frank Nc
Grath guaranteeing fair play and q
square deal to every candidate, and
in return deserves the hearty sup
port and cooperation of winners and
losers alike in the campaign now
beginning.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
COMING EVENTS.

Ladies' of st. Johns church
Lawn fete, August Sc, Bar
rett and Breckenridge.
st. Leo's church-Picnic on
church grounds August 6.
st. Peters Church-Outing
at Spring Bank Park, August 6.
Jeffersontown - Picnic and
supper for st. Edwards
church, August 10.
st. William IS s--Festival and
detective contest, on church
grounds, AugustS12-13..
st. Joseph's Orphanage-An-
nual picnic, on Orphanage
grounds, August %.
Retail Grocers-Outing and
baby show, Fontaine Ferry
Park, August 20.
st. Michaels Church-Pic-
mic at Spring Bank Park, Aug
ust 20.
Church Of Our Lady-Lawn
fete, church grounds, Thirty
fifth and Rudd, August 1921.
Knights of Columbus-Out-
ing and picnic, Fern Grove,
August 81.
Trinity Council-Excursion
to Mammoth Cave, August 81.
Catholic Knights Of Amer
ica-Excursion 20 Jasper, Ind,
via Southern Railway, August
81.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02

Societies will meet tomorrow in Mil
waukee and be in session until
Wednesday night. Cardinal Gibbons
will be the celebrant of the high mass
at the Cathedral, and Archbishop
Keane, Of Dubuque, will preach the
sermon. For months past Arch
bishop Messmer and the clergy and
Citizens of Milwaukee have been en-
gagged in making preparation for
this convention, in the hope that It
will equal the one held in Louisville
last year. At the same time the ma
tional convention Of Catholic women
will be held. Following the ad-
journment Of the Federation the
Catholic Press Association will hold
its third annual convention, which
will be In session for two days.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02

publication in which is contained
all necessary information in memoir
anda and calendar matter. as we'll
as an abundance of wholesome, in
structive and interesting reading.
Apart from its literary value, st.
Antony's Almanac should appeal to
every Catholic who has at heart the
spread of Gods kingdom on earth
through the zeel and labors of the
priesthood. The price is twenty-five
cents, and copies may be secured by
addressing st. Antonys Almanac,
Franciscan Monastery, Paterson, n.
j. The profits accruing from its
sale contribute 70 the education of
young men who desire to become
priests.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
SENT FRIENDS TURF.

Some two years ago while shoot
ing grouse on the mountains near
his old home place in Ireland, James
Thompson, the widely known Louis
Vile distiller, picked up turf used
for fuel and brought it home with
him as a souvenir. SO many of his
friends asked for a piece that he
had his brother in Ireland ship him
some, and these he is sending out by
parcel post. To many these sow
enirs viii no doubt bring back to
luind many Irish scenes and pleasant
memories. Mr.. Thompson leaves for
Ireland next week, to be gone until
September.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
CELEBRATING ANNIVERSARY.

Under the direction of the Right
Rev. Louis s. Walsh, Bishop OF Port
land, the three hundredth ami
yersary of the first celebration OF
the holy sacrifice of the mass in the
State of Maine will be observed with
magnificent ceremonies at Bar Har-
bor next Wednesday. Among the
noted clergy who will be present
will be the Most Rev. John Bon
zano, the Papal Delegate, for whom
the Fourth Degree Knights OF
Columbus will act as special guard
Of honor. The Bishops and clergy
of the Eastern States will attend this
celebration in large numbers.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
ORPHAN PIoNIo.

One of the biggest annual events
In local Catholic circles is the picnic
for st. Joseph's German orphanage
In Crescent Hill, which will be held
this year on the grounds on August
10. The grounds will be beautifully
Illuminated. and every known picnis
attraction will be in operation on the
cleyerest scale. An excellent concert
band will render popular selections
both afternoon and evening. JOSEPH
schildt. President, has the COMMITTEES
of Chalrmen under his charge and h
making good progress with the ar
engagements.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
DUTY CATHOLIC OWES.

Catholics. when they 60 TO the
ballot box as American citizens,
should consider only the fitness of
the candidates for the places they
seek, and should vote for the best
man." says the Catholic Herald. ITO
vote for a man because he is a Cath
Ollie, when you know that he is not
the man for the place, is being dis
loyal to your duty as a citizen, and
not even complying with your duty
as a Catholic, because every Catholic
should be, and must be, II he would
be a true Catholic, a loyal and con-
scientious citizen OF the nation to
which he belongs"
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
LEAVING FOR IRELAND.

Miss Nora Browne, sister of
Messrs. John, Daniel and Edward
Browne and Mrs. Daniel McKenna,
Mrs. Wren, Mrs. Callahan and Mrs.
Brennan, will leave next week fol
New York to visit friends and then
sail for Ireland to spend the re-
mainder of the year with her par
ents. In the fall she will be Joined
by her brother, John Browne, an6
Mrs. Brennan and Mrs. McKenna,
who will accompany her back to
Louisville. Before returning the
party will visit all the Irish cities
and points of interest.
Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1913-08-02
Herald Has Already Named AK
ton to Lead Progressive
Party.
Charley Knight Looks Like One
Best Bet i'm Senatorial -
Race.
ALL ARE GIVEN FAIR PLAY

Today marks the first holding OF
a primary election under the new
Eaton-Thompson law and a heavy
vote is expected TO be polled all over
| the State. especially for the Demo
lcfatic cafdfua les, -tiiis,style Of nom
ination being especially pleasing to
the rank and file of the party, and
the men chosen in this manner are
sure to receive the hearty support
Of all party factions Locally there
is very little interest outside of the
Democratic nominations, as the
Herald-Axton crowd have everything
framed up against Frank Reichert
in the Progressive party, although
the latter's popularity has been at
tested to many times, while on the
other hand Axton is hardly known
outside of the tobacco breaks, his
money barrel being the open sea-
same to control of the Herald-Pro-
gressive machine.
Seevral rafting good contests are
expected in the Democratic races,
the list of contested offices being as
follows:
For Police Judge - Samuel j.
Boldrick, Delos B. Rogers.
For Clerk of Police Court-Carl
SEEMING, Harry C. Nehan,. Joseph NJ.
Keyer, William e. Holley, Alf v.
Oldham.
For City Treasurer-Charles w.
Milliken. Adolph Schmitt.
For County Judge-Muir Weis-
singer, Samuel w. Greene.
For County Assessor-Frank ].
Schuster, Joseph e. Timmons, A. NJ.
Emler, George Schlegel.
For Coroner-H. e. Mechling,
Ellis Duncan.
For County Surveyor. Russell
Gaines, Robert II. Young.
For Jailer-Charles c. Foster,
John r. Pflanz.
For Councilmen, Fourth ward
Jerome King, Al Rosenberg, Johr
vogt.
For Councilmen, Twelfth ward
Thomas Dolan, Richard Whitty,
Fred T. Heffernan, Edward Coon.
For State Senator, Thirty-sixtt
district-Charles II. knight, Will
lam Bohon.
For Representative, Forty-fourth
district Drescher, Edward Z.
Roy.
For Representative. Forty-seyenth
dlstrict-William ]. Kuh, T. A.
Flannelly
For Magistrate. First district
Sim G.. Sturgeon. Robert O. Dorsey.
For Magistrate. second district
Charles c. Wheeler. Charles w.
Talbot. Joseph p. Stephens, Charles
J. fegenbush.
For Magistrate. Third dis.riet-H.
ID. Robb. John NJ. Ferring, Henry
Il. Crawford.
For Magistrate, Fourth district
Joseph Muenninghoff. w. l.. Weller.
For Magistrate. Sixth district-E.
b. Yeager. Ben Schulman.
For Magistrate. Eighth district
I. A. Mcdonald. w. w. Bowman,
George w. Berry.
For Constable. Second district-J.
w. Floore. Phil T. German, Jr.
For Constable, Third district.
L. Warren, Davis Brabson, Frank A.
Shultz, Charles p. Fisher.
For Constable. Fifth distrlct-Ed-
ward Quino. sr.. William r. stelten-
kamp.
For Constable, Sixth district--L
r. Roberts. John C. straub, John
7. Sullivan.
For Constable. Seventh district
Edward Barrett. Joseph A. Murta-
For Constable. Eighth district
4. @. Galloway. James buddy. Al
,ert b. Hackei, A. b Kilkelly. AL
3. Darragh.
In the race for State Senator