davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

BY flying over the Alps in an aero
plane one avoids paying tips at Al
pine hostelries.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

Part Of the troub'n about the cab
aret NAV come from calling a booze
shop a cafe.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

Flies have become so scarce and
cunning that it requires rare general
ship TO accomplish a swatting.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

Leave the wearers of the slit skirt
alone. Sooner or later they'll eaten
cold and come TO an untimely end.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

Joy riders would bett9r take time
than do time.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

There was a time when people OBJ
jected TO even the peek-a-boo waist
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

At last the aeroplane has been used
for an elopement But 1t would never
do for "A honeymoon.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

One Of the crying needs of the
hour is a standardized slice OF water
melon
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

The height of hard luck belongs to
the man who died on the eve Of his
pardon from the penitentiary.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

One is sometimes tempted to think
that there is too much weather.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30
STRANGE to Say.

; There is nothing extraordinary in
writing a work of fiction
yet ii is a novel underra SIr "
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30
No Promise Maker.

Does Blobbs keep his word?"
Il guess so. He never seems TO
give it."
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30

is the wittiest re-
tort or the most hui
morous story you ever
heard?
| have been asking
this question of a list
of public men more
or less noted as wits
and humOristS. Per
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02

government seeds went farther than
$500 Of political advertisements" In
these degenerate days. When there
were drinks galore and free baths and
q lot OF other things to be had about
the capitol that now are gone with
the vanished joys OF yester year.
Once congressing was gentleman's
recreation. Now II IL job. There
was day when the halls of legislation
were pleasant places like the Daphnean
groves. Now they have become az
mills and factories. Soon It may be
that each congressman shall carry a
key and punch time clock like hunky
at steel mill.
And there he stands. grim and lam
tern jawed Colossus astride from one
chamber to the other and as he speaks
they move. When he remarks thumbs
UP" it is with the voice Of Simon and
all thumbs are erect. When he says
thumbs down" all digits are de-
pressed. He has them buffaloed. He
has their goat
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02

Americans are soon to have an OPP
portun!ty 10 see and hear DR. Maria
,Montessori. the famous italian teacher.
and observe for themselves her much
discussed methods OF teaching young
children. Madame Montessori will ar
rive In this country Dec. 8. to give
series of letures on the work OF her
schools in Rome. She will be accom-
panied by an Interpreter. in order TO be
able to use her native Italian. She is
bringing with her moving pictures Il
lustra tive Of the work as It IL actually
carried on in the House OF Child
hood
Madame Montessorfs tour will be
under the auspices Of the Montessori
Educational Association OF America. OF
which Mrs. Alexander Graham Bell is
president. DR.. P. P. Claxton, United
States commissioner OF education. first
vice president, and Colonel Mcclure, OF
New York. second vice president; Miss
Margaret Wilson, daughter Of the
president, ig a member OF the board OF
trustees Of the association. and will be
active in the reception to be accorded
TO DR.. Montessori at the national CAPT.
tai.
DR.. Montessori will be in the United
States about three weeks. She will
visit eight or ten cities east Of the
Mississippi. beginning with Washing
ton, which is the headquarters OF the
Montessori association. She does not
expect to be bic TO 90 very far south
or west on this trip
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
FROM BOB BURDErTE.


Robert ]. Burdette, who once made
famous Joy in Burlington, and is en-
shrtned In every heart here az beloved.
Is said to be dying on the Pacific coast.
The news will come with cruel force to
those who have known and have loved
him AZ a prince Of the morning light.
~ one Of Gods chosen comforts to
mankind. Evidently Mr.. Burdette
knows OF his approaching end, for he
has written beautiful letter to his
old congregation in Temple church.
Los Angeles. in which ne gives voice
to something akin 10 farewell. and to
sentiment which has always chung
about the things that he has said and
written. In this letter sent from
"Eventide," at Clifton by the-s sea, Cal,
he says:
Il am neither bcd-ridden nor house,
bound. but am woefully weak. ride
out a little every day and enjoy 1t, but
avoid the crowds. which tire me.
write q little for newspaper or maya
zine every week for life would seem so
worthless If I didn't work at some
thing. And love to see my friends
II they don't stay too long.
Because 1t Is sweet and quiet down
here we will remain in 'Eventide, so
named by Mrs. Burdette because 1t
faces the sunset And Afternoon
Land is very pleasant. in spite OF
chronic pancreatitis.' Every evening
as sit In the sunroom and watch the
sun go down beyond the rim OF the
blue Pacific / know what is over there.
There il no mystery in that unseen
space beyond the sunset. l have been
there. / have journeyed in those lands.
There, where the sun Is just sinking
out OF sight, Is Japan. Yokahoma.
Toxic, Nikko. Fujihama, the beautiful
inland seal can see il all. And there.
where that silver star is shining thru
the crimson bars OF the sunset, that Is
China. Over there is Manila. Yonder
Is Port Arthur I know it all. / have
been there.
We'll, beyond the gates of the sun
set there is another land. farther
than the stars. I have never seen 1t.
1 have never seen any one who has
been there But all that know about
the oriental lands wherein I have
tourneyed, Is the merest conjecture
compared with my knowledge of the
Blessed Land which eye hath not seen.
That fair and happy country do
know. Know it with a certainty.
positive knowledge which has never
been Swallowed by cloud OF doubt
passing over my belief. may be
confused In my earthly geographical
locations But this heaven Of ours
no man, no thing, no circumstance has
ever shaken my faith in that AS the
sun sinks lower. faith shines more
brightly, and hope lifting her voice In
a higher key. sings the songs OF fru-
ition. So, every evening when the
sun goes down. see that shadowiess
land of eternal noon. l know il is
because 1 have seen it. but
because I do see it,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
Iona Newspapers
90 %~1~
JUST OVER THE LINE.
Manson Journal.1

Why is it SO hard for the human
family 10 do just right? We do not
mean that all are bad. but while it
takes a little effort to do right, it IS
SO easy to do wrong.
DO you remember when you were a
little tot how hard it was to obey
mother when she told you to play in
Your own yard? How inviting that
yard Just across the line. where mother
told You not to go? The other yard
was not so shady, or the lawn SO
green; yet it took all your power for
doing right. backed up by the fear Of
the switch that hung above the door,
TO keep you from crossing the line It
was SO hard to do right and so easy to
do wrong.
Later, when you were older, mother
cautioned YOU against associa ting with
certain boys because they were a little
off color, and you found those boys the
most interesting companions to be had.
Your fathers orchard might be loaded
with apples and the melon patch
strewn with ripe melons. but those that
grew just across the line were FAR
more appetizing. You did not really
wish to go in swimming that cold sun
day in May. but mother warned you
10 keep away from the pond and there
is where you went just as soon as YOU
were out Of sight
You are Older now. and know that 1t
was just boys niscilievousness that
made you do these things, yet there are
certain women whose hand you hold a
little longer than is necessary when
YOU have occasion to bid them good
by. In fact, you hold the hand just
about as long as they will let you.
OF course, YOU mean no harm. but
there is little magnet in that hand
that seems TO hold you. and 1t takes
about ali your goodness and fear of the
society whip for you to break away.
1t is so pleasant to just cross over
the line little way; to break down the
conventional and BE ,uss human once
in awhile.
The stolen kiss. the stolen apples. the
forbidden company. were only the
swee,er because they we're secured
only by crossing the line. None OF
these will utterly condemn you. but II
sometimes takes quite an effort to
keep from going farther after one has
just crossed the line. The oftener
the line is crossed the harder it is to
return
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
1rlEsREPUBIIcAN MARsHAILrowN. IOWA: bECEBER 1915
susgteted that It will need oomsoody
bigger than It = likely % md

susststed that It will need sonsbody
bigger than It = likely 70 nnd
The past week has been wst and
dismal enough to satisfy those who
generally 60 to the coast for that kind
Of weather.
Under government ownership per-
haps some Of the candidates for post
masterships would be willing to take q
Job as conductor.
II some inventor would only come
forward with an incubator that would
lay its own eggs.
Never mind the usual New Year
stunt until after you've done your
C--s shopping early.
Why not President Brown come
back to Iowa quietly, farm If he wants
to. rest if he pleases and takes his
own way to ease or action? Why not
give Brown some little leeway?
Those man hunters who are seeking
a desperate criminal in the dark tun-
neis of a western mine are getting
thrills that Theodore, the formal ma
turahst. can't find in South America:
No animal furnishes such exciting
hunting as man.
Beats all how Wilson keeps them
eating from his hand and leaping thru
paper hoops when he snaps that little
whip which has replaced the big stick
as q congressional persuader.
Des Moines needs 10 hurry up that
saloon consent. Bill Sunday is on the
way and Bills poison to saloons.
It's a pity that Taft hadn't been OF
the Wilson stripe. a pity for Taft and
for the party.
If this egg business keeps up instead
Of starting young married folks with
farm the old people will give them
hen and tell them to be happy ever
after.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02

the material for the book. None win
doubt that II he goss altss Il ~ Will
produce Z volume Of grsat iDtsroo9 -
the public, ~ his experiences IN pub
lie life cover nearly . lifetime and he
IL not only . close observer. but has
the faculty OF terse and interesting *.
preston.
The open winter, the fne weather no
matter what follows. these words vir-
tually gave Iowa fall weather many
days Of Indlan summer till Dec. I. The
corn 10 husked and in the cribs. The
pastures are still good in many pisces.
The cattle have CLEANED the corn helds
Of the few ears left by the champion
husker who "husked IA bushels in
nine hours" The poor man has
much biSger pile on hand. than usual
on Dec. 1. The automobile owners
never had better October and Mo-
vember for good roads and comfortable
weather. Much Of the above was left
out of the Thanksgiving sermons, 80
is here offered as an amendment.
Then too. we never have had in Iowa
the amount Of paving unfinished in the
last week OF November. Many towns
ares till torn up. the streets sure to be
in a fearful condition" unless Jack
Frost delays his visit. So much has
been undertaken, SO many delays have
occurred on account of insufficient Ia.
Dor, delay in the arrival Of sand and
cement that i, will be positive
calamity If winter closes in now.
~ H.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
Too Late.


Two OF the most impressive sights
Of railroad grading camp are the
marvellous alacrity Of the men In 10
spending to the call for dinner and
their quickness In wrapping them
selves around their grub. During con.
struction Of the new lines Of the
Louisville L Nashville in Kentucky An
old farmer furnished one Of the grad.
ing camps with vegetables. He often
arrived at the camp at meal time.
and was greatly impressed with the
voracity OF the men. When the call
for dinner was given every man made
a rush for the table and the food die.
appeared In double quick time.
One day . workman on his way to
the table tripped on the root Of .
tree and fell He lay all sprawled
out, making no attempt to rise. The
farmer IN great concern rushed to
him.
Are you hurt, are you hurt!" ~
asked anxiously.
No" answered the man.
We'll. why don't you get up ana
90 to dinner?"
mo use,' returned the other sadly.
Its too late now"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
Record Britain Railroad Disaster.

The two worst railway disasteru
which ever occurred In the United
KINGDOM were the Tay Bridge disas.
tor on December -. 1879. when II
lives were lost through the train and
bridge being wrecked during terrific
storm. and the Armagh disaster on
June II, 1889. when two excursion
trains collided ct Killooney. resulting
IN 80 deaths and injuries 70 400 othe,
passenger. In the latter case the
omcials were charged With negligence
The Abergele disaster in 1867. on the
L. 4 N. W. r. R.. when the Irish mail
collided With petroleum trucks and 81
people were killed: the accident u
Shipton. near Oxford. in 1874. when q
@. w. r. r. train ran over IN omoank.
ment. resulting in ~ deaths and 10 In.
jured; and the more recent Salisbury,
Shrewsbury and Elliot Junction dis
asters arc also among the worst this
country has experienced. = Lonoo1
Maj.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
ECONOMY IN EVERY LINE


An The saw6ust that ooooalu1A1o0
In tie various shows Of Q failroa1
system = carefully savsd. Whist b
needed d used tpr Daeking loo sor
shipmsnt and tAs rest u burned u
the furnaces In the sAoos. thus eut.
ting down The coal bills. Il enc large
shoD alone the sAwdust aaA shavinSs
exceed . carload eeeh DAY. % Il
makes no small item u ~ fuol bill
Of the shops.
Waste paper = one q ne big items
OF savings for evsry company. In
the general Once The waste paper
sathered up By the portsss and balsd
amounts to about . ton each DAY OF
. carload . month. from this one stA-
ton. There are other stations whore
the waste amounts 70 two Or three
tons . week. All the paper II saved
and balsd and then sold. Carr aro
sent over the system periodically 70
pick up these Accommodations Of waste
paper. This includes the ordinary
waste paper that everyone throws
into the waste baskets aud also the
tons Of old records that have become
obsolete and are destroyed.
4 few mouths ago . western rail.
road sent out . notice to al it, en-
ployes asking them to use one add
tional inch Of each lead pencil before
It was thrown away and the company
said that this would make . savinS
OF $4,000 = year to the company.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
cokeREss,ne WITH WILSON.

II the Wilson idea Of working con-
gress continues to prevail conTessinE
seems certain to lose somewha. of its
former charm. Here the president Of
the United States calls congress to-
gether in special session holds them
to the collar from morn TO oeey eve
and starts on a regular session with
cracking Of whips and hustle ike q
farmer with hay in the field Of q Sat
urday afternoon. No opportunity is
afforded to use part OF that mileage.
There he stands like a section boss
on the highest point making motions
OF command. And congress Jumps like
= section hand who has just come on
The Job and wants TO hold It until he
gets his ovefaEs paid FOR. Farming has
become easier as the years have passed
and riding corn plows and hay leaders
and the like have come on the market.
anvention has made life easier in
everything but congrsssins. Unions
have succeeded In limiting hours Of la
Dor and pushing UP the price. But
congressing, while it has raised its own
wage scale has become more and more
like work. And IN this day Of Wilson,
ian simplicity congressman have less
fun than hired man. Neither circus
day nor fair time come to the con-
gresham. When he suggests a va
cation Wilson answers him as the New
England father answered his son as
they hoed corn Of a hot day. The boy
suggested that "tfe fish were biting
The old man replied, well, you hoe
right along and they won't bite you"
It Isn't like the old days. Those
hAlcyon days when the chautauqua
spread its shady tents and beckoned
Win real money in its hand. When a
congressman could come home and try
. lawsuit or 50. any time he was
neel3aA by his partner in the law Office.
when the mileage was all velvet and
- railway pass included every ac-
ecsamodation the Pullman had to offer.
NgAon q whooping Fourth Of July ora
Hoo and handshake and packet of
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
Looker-On In Iona

Jefferson. Dec. 2.-Here's as enthus-
:astic town over the good roads
question as there is in Iowa. The con-
,ribudons Of over $500 by the Head
family have been mentioned in the
daily papers. And a direct result Of
The agitation in favor CT good roads is
the formation here OF a commercial
club OF 1cS members, each paying s25
membership fee. The Lincoln highway
goes thru here and there will be spent
On it in this part Of The county over
$4,000. Grand Junction and Scranton
will also do much work and contribute
Literally. over two years ago this
town rounded UP sixty blocks with
gravel from almost inexha ustible beds
near here. On this is poured oil, a, a
cost Of about cents a gallon. This
seems 10 pack down and give surface
much like asphlatum. One hears the
bus team coming up in the night and
stranger would :hink they were
trott!ng on a paved street. Business
men have told the writer that the cost
OF maintaining these streets is less
than the former system of sprinkling
and road drag. Better still is it. that
on these streets mud and dust are I'M
known.
The town of Traer is always doing
things pro bono pubiico" Since the
writer's previous trip the Women's
Federation Clubs have bought an old
hotel property On Main street, paying
$4,000, altering it somewhat in the in
terror. SO that now up stairs Is the
federation club room and down stairs
a rest room for the women from out Of
town, and a small public library room.
This investment is in the nature Of a
beginning along these lines and in the
near future 1t is proposed to put a
large public building on the present
site. And as one business man said.
the women Of Traer will! build It"
"a prophet Is not without honor ex-
cept in his own country" etc. doesn't
apply to "Tama Jim. Of Traer. Say
twenty seven years ago he was editing
an agricultural department in the Clip
per and other papers. then he went
to Ames agricultural college - PROBES
sor and acting president. After this
he went into the cabinet at Washing
ton and remained at the head OF the
agricultural department Of longer
term than any cabinet official has ever
served.
The Clipper says: Tame Jim Wilson
will probably write book on his six
teen years experience in the cabinet.
He has offers from publishers for the
exclusive right Of such q volume. ono
Of which il a very large sum. enough
to buy Q large Tanaa county farm. and
he viii likely make a contract with one
Of them. Mr. Wilson went to New
York q few days ago. where he will u,
for the painting for which congress
appropriated $1,000, and which Will be
placed "a the Agricultural department
1t Washington. He win 50 to the cap
ita1 city from New York and may
spend the winter there, where he can
have access to books Of reference and
information. and whore he can get .
stsuographer to whom he can dictate
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
sr,dss Building Changes.

The remarkable growth Of the auto
mobile industry in the last few years
has revolutionized bridge building on
country roads, according to Stewart
Mcdonald, vice-president Of the Moon
Motor Car company. Who took IN auto
trip east recently. He said:
In many places in the country
where the roads are being worked.
concrete culvarts are being put In. Al
many points. too, whore year or two
ago there weso s1ck0ky wooden
BRIDGES on our recent TIP We found
substantial steel ana iron structures.
This development IN bridges and
culverts - Q big factor In incrsasfne
the safety Of roads to farmers - vel
~ automobiles"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-12-02
LIKE A JOKE.
burlington Ea wk Eye

Huntington HawkE
There has been much talk OF river
Improvement in the past quarter OF
century and that sort Of talk still con-
tinues We hear much Of six-too'
channel for the upper Mississippi. OF
ocean craft coming up to ST Louis, OF
the Improvement Of the Missouri, OF
better ha:bor facilities etc. And with
all this talk, there has been very little
corresponding increase in river traffic.
The whole business seems 10 De con-
Quoted on the summer resort idea, so
far as the upper river is concerned.
The government helps to make X
ridiculous. when viewed 6 branch OF
commerce. Thus the navigation OF the
upper Mississippi river Is regulated.
not by existing conditions. but by an
order from s1e national capital. an
ancient rule, that has no real reason
in fact. There ought to be navisa-
ton of the upper river, as long as the
river is navigable. But on certain
date the government officially closes
navigation and tina, settles 1t. The
canal is closed, Or rather the lock IN
the big dam. The lights are extin-
guished and the river as an artery OF
commerce is dead. until somebody at
Washington again turns to the OLD
books and to the almanac and hnds
that II Is time to open the river again.
1t is possible that during the long pc
Rod from Nov. Is to March Is. or is 1t
April Is, there may not be three weeks
when navigs ton would be seriously
hampered. The river is closed, just
the same.
In many OF the caties, the people
have been protesting and fighting
against the infamous Philadelphia
moon table. The navigation Of the
upper Mississippi river is controlled
under similarly wise and just and
honest schedule. And 20 long a. that
is the rule and as long as the boats
cater simply to tourist and excursion
business, the revival of the river is
going to remain a amentable farce, q
painful Joke.
The steamboat men will have to
come down out Of the first half of the
last century, down to modern times
and conditions, and do their share to-
ward resurrecting the river. And the
foolish restrictions az to the period OF
navigation will have to be removed.
And then many other things will have
to be done before the big river aGa1n
comes into its own.
Now that the Panama canal ID
nearing completion and that New
Orleans expects to reap the sreatest
possible results from the marvellous
changes In the current Of the WORLDS
commerce-now would be the proper
time for people in this section to sit
up and take notice ana to discover
that II the river commerce 80 ever go-
ing to be something more than . mere
shastly joke. they viii have TO b up
and doing, and will have TO undo
many things that they have heretofore
considered essential and will have to
modernise the river business and TO