The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1913-01-08
WIT IN The PULPIT
Preachers With a Sense of HUI
NOR or the Gift of Repartee.
"A DUEL BETWEEN PUNSTERS.
The Exchange Of Compliments That
Spieed the Sermons Of Rev. Mr..
Walker and Rev. Mr.. Resd-Brother
Moore's Grim Retort.


Moore's Grin, Retort.
When the march OF pulpit oratory
at present n number of pious parish.
ioners resolved to compliment their
beloved pastor with horse After
great deal OF scraping together they
accumulated funds sufficient to pur-
chase n saddle. which was forthwith
, dispatched to the minister. with an
dntimation that the horse would be
sent ut more convenient season.
Week after week. however. passed
on. and no word of the minister's nag.
This dilatUriness would never do.
thought the reverend gentleman. aud
accordingly one sunday afternoon he
took occasion to introduce the sub.
ject In winding up discourse on the
unspeakable loneliness of charity.
Now. my friends" said the preach
err. IF that said horse he M npping
grass yont 10y AT the manse In day
or twa. | ken what III do
Here the minister smOte the pulpit
in manner that made the hearts OF
the congregation melt within them like
wax. while he. stern man. continued
his appeal to their pecuniary feelings
so long. and repeated the fearful
threat. Il ken what I'll do so often
that one frightened hearer said
"And what Will you do, sir?''
why. man." said the minister cooly.
an just sell the saddle"
The Rev. Mr.. Walker of Connecticut
saw his friend. the Rev. MIR. Read.
sitting in one of the ppws on a Sun
day morning aud. leaving the pulpit.
went to Read aud urged him to preach
for him. Read begged Off. as he was
providentiaiiy detained IN town over
the Sabbath and had no preparation
with him But Walker was pressing.
aud at length his friend yielded to his
importantly and entered the pulpit
But he had no text. and after some re-
Election pitched upon Job l. Z. Then
Satan answered the Lord and said.
From going to and fro in the earth
and from walking up and down in it."
From this passage he drew the doe
trine and announced it boldly. that the
devil was "a great Walker. He rung
the changes on the name of his friend
till the people signifed their notice by
a general smile.
Walker took the pulpit in the after
noon and returned his friends cOmpli-
ments by taking for his text Matthew
XII, Z, "A reed shaken with the wind"
"The doctrine of the text" he said. rs
the instability of Reads" On this
theme he discovered till Read wished
that be had never ventured his wit in
the pulpit at the expense Of his friend
Walker.
In the south of Now Jersey some
years ago there Travelled over some or
the hardest counties good. faithful.
hard working brother named James
Moore. He was devoted to the timer.
ancy and true loyal Methodist. plain.
pointed and sharp in all his preaching
and exhortations. He had been labor
ing year OH one of his circuits. and.
before leaving for his new field. he
gave his people his farewell sermon.
At the close he said:
my dear brethren. this Is my last
address to you. am going from you.
James Moore again"
"Amen!' came loudly from the seat
before him.
He looked at the man with a little
surprise: but. thinking II was mis-
fake. went on. MY days on earth
will soon he numbered. | am an old
man and you may not only never hear
the voice of James Moore. but never
see his face again"
amen" was shontod from the same
seat. more vigorously than before.
There was no MISLEADING the design
now. The preacher looked at the man.
He knew him To he II hard. grinding
man. stingy and merciless to the poor.
He continued with his address: May
the Lord bless all those OF you who
have done your duty. who have hon.
ored him with your substance. who
have been kind 10 the poor. and" pans
ing and looking the intruder straight
In the eye and pointing to him with
his finger "may his curse rest on
those who have cheated the Lord and
ground the poor under their heels.
Say amen 10 that. brother"'
He was not interrupted again.
II was the Rev. Rowland Illl's habit
20 ride 10 church In an old family
carriage. II practice too aristocratic. In
the Judgment of one of his tiOck. who
determined to rebuke II. II was Gus
tomary In his chapel for notes to he
sent to the pulpit. requesting prayers
for various objects. ANA one sabbath
Hill was proceeding with the reading
OF these requests as usual when he
found himself In the midst OF one to
the following pnrport:
prayers are requested for the Rev.
Mr.. Hill. that he may be more humble
and. like his divine Master. who. in
stead OF riding In carriage. was con.
tent to be borne on an ass"
Having read the noffce he lifted