Norwich bulletin., 1913-08-22
VERY, VERY HONORABLE.

Prof. Rains. the geologist. was not bit absent-minded. He was rather for getful. but the two are not synony nymous. He was 50 years old when he came to the village of Rocky Ridge to pass a month studying certain signs to signi- fly the age of the earth. If he had been absent minded he would have stopped short at Grafton's Fall or gone on to Sandstone Hill. That he was forgetful was proved by his leaving his money on his dresser at his board ing house in the college town when he came away.
 The professor had never married. He was suave and courteous and of l fine appearance, and he made friends 1 in Rocky Ridge at once. Most Of the people laughed at the idea of his car 1 ing whether the earth was 100000 or figures would have no effect on the price of butter, but the laughter was good -natured. As Deacon Winfield summed it up at the postoff1ce: He looks like smart fellow, but if he wants to waste his talents climb ing around among the rocks instead of swapping horses, why, it's his own business and there's no call for us to pity him."
 The professor found a boarding place with the Widow Glynn, and thereby brought pique to the hearts of four other widows and ali old maid, all of whom took summer boarderS-When they could get them. No one had told him of the other widows, or he might have tried to scatter himself around among them. In time he fet them all, and while they still held their pique they said he was a nice man
 Prof. Rains got along in his investi gations very well for couple Of weeks and then he struck a snag. He had about made up his mind that the age of the earth was 73.000,000 and some odd years when he came across a stone that knowledge of geology apprised him must have been formed at far earlier date This find rather knocked him out He was sitting on a big oboulder thinking the matter over when Farmer Stebbins, who had met him in the village, and who lived only quar- ter of a mile distant, came tramping across a field to say
 Well, professor how goes it?'
 i've struck a snag." was the reply.
 How"
 By discovering this stone. It's mill
 ions of years older than the others around"
 Sort of a kid. eh? Does it change your hggers much ?''
 Very much, indeed, I confess that l don't know exactly what to do about It."
 Then I'll tell ye, The old woman has got a billed dinner all ready to set on the table You come to the house and help us eat it. I'll bet you haven't had one in 20 years. Come and Ill up and then we'll have a talk about this old eorth. I own 240 acres of her ana I'll like to be posted.
 It was a good dinner The profess sor filled up. For 30 minutes or more the ham and potatoes, the cabbage and carrots made him uttely forget the age of the earth.
 Dinner finished at last the two men 1I,1s tI7n n farmer lighted his pipe, his wife brought out a jug of cider. and the host began
 How do you fellers figure that the airth was made
 The professor belonged to the school that believes this globe was at first fragment cast off by some planet, and he was going ahead with his ex- plantations when he was stopped with
 Hold your horses right there Don't the Bible say that God created the heavens and earth in six days and rested the seventh"
 And thereupon began hot discus sion that lasted the better part of an hour, and as the two shouted they had recourse to the cider. That cider was hard cider. It was oily. 1t had 8, tWang to it. It was deceptive. Never in his life had Prof. Bains drank glass of hard cider. and here he was drinking pints of it. He had read every W0rk on geology yet published, but he had not read that hard cider leads to in toxication, and that a man once drunk on it stays so for 30 hours at least, and during that time he can make fool of himself a dozen times over.
 The argument hadn't been finished when the host discovered his guests condition and drove him to the village and his boarding place. Some men whoop and cheer and want to die for their country when they have looked upon the cider when it is hard, but the professor wasn't one of them. He had nothing whatever to say, but simply looked wise
 It was explained to the Widow Glynn by the farmer that the gentleman had a slight case of sunstroke. and that while it was not necessary to have medical advice he should be allowed to sleep as long as he wanted to. That talk was all right. and the professor sought his couch and stayed by it for 2S hours.
 What happened when he woke up? Why, he had had a hard cider dream running through his long sleep. That