davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
YOUTH IS STRANGELY CAUGHT
ALLEGED Hishwayman has roof en-
snarIed in Smoke Regulator
of Chimney.

New York.-After escaping three
bullets sent after him by policeman
in nursuit. a youth charged with nigh
vow robbery found himself strangely
trapped, hanging from a foot ensnareo
IN the tin smoke regulator OF chm
nov with his head dizzily swaying 80
faet mr. more over stone paved al
ley. =. /.
.uo-ctorv building in Brooklyn by a
s,;oaosn who had pursued him. The
youth is George Cusach' seventeen
soers old. He and two other youths
&c accused of holding up and assault
;ns Dominick Berquist, carpenter.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
His Interest.

1T is estimated that not more than
half the children born survive their
fifth year"
That's terrible, and something
should be done about it." replied the
mill owner. when those children
got to be. couple of years older
they'd be ready to go to work. -
Puck
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Mrs. Meekton,s Position.

Surprising" said Mr.. Meekton, that
you we're a voter
"Well?" rejoined his wife.
And suppose | were candidate
You want to know whether l would
vote for you?"
THAT was the question l had in
mind
YES, Leonidas; I should vote for
you But if I caught any other wom-
en- voting for you l should consider
their action very forward and imperti-
nentn' -Washingt Star
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
An EATING Tour.

Tell me about Berlin"
Got some fine sausages there"
London must have been interest
ing
Greatest place in the world for
mutton chops"
Tell me, do your recollections Of
Europe hinge solely on what you had
to eat?"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
No Small Sorrows.

"a man likes big and heroic enter
prises"
That's right" replied Mrs. Corn
tossel. Alexander wept because
there were no more worlds to con-
quer. But you never hear of a man
sheddin' a tear because there's no
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Bad News.

Doctor" said the young wife of
the rich old miner, how do you find
my husband?"
so much better, madam" replied
the physician, that | think he will
recover to live many years"
She turned deadly pale and burst
into tears
Alas" she cried, Il felt instinc-
lively that l must be prepared for the
worst"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
- Man Does Foolish Thing.

potcbogue. N. Y.-While waiting 70
hoys whom he supposed to be re-
ca onsih1e for putting cartridges on the
sp tracks here, John L. Burman' a
lione an saw eeventy-year-old man
Mace a line of cartridges along lne
rails and wait for the car TO pass over 81
.S S The aged man was warned 70
..a,,t outp his boyish pranks.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Pain in Back and Rheumatism

are the daily torment of thousands To eff
fectually cure these troubles you must re-
move the cause. Foley Kidney Pills begin
to work for you from the first dose, and ex-
ert so direct and beneficial an action in the
kidneys and bladder that the pain and tor
ment of kidney trouble soon disappears.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
UNDERTAKING. Him.

my dear boy, l happen to know
you mortgaged your house and lot in
order to buy that motor car How
are you managing to keep it in re-
pair?'
mo trouble about that I give an
occasional mortgage on some bit of
personal property. From the way you
talk, Uncle Henry, one would think
I hadn't any business capacity at ALL"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Wiser, Too.

How can you have changed so,
Henry? Before we were married you
said you were fairly intoxicated with
love for me-"
We'll, Mrs. Peck. it usually takes
drastic methods to sober man up
and I'm sober now!"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Miss Genevieve Clark.

the tango and other ultra-moderH
dances.
Miss Clark will not dance them and
SAYS so with characteristic simplicity.
1.-The waltz, two-step and the pretty
round dances of our grandmothers are
quite enough for me" she said.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
The Thino to Do.

What shall l say if Mr.. Binkton
asks me to marry him asked the
young woman.
Don't bother about studying what
you will say" replied Miss Cayenne.
"Rehearse an effort to look sur
prised."
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Embarrassment Of Ricnes.

Where can you put my ad. in the
,aper?"
You can take your choice, sir. We
can put it either next the latest de-
velopments in the Thaw case or the
murder mystery that defies solution"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Ae Still Honed

Mrs. Matchem-F Forty years old, Mr.
Singleton and never been married?
Dear me! But surely you have not
given up all hope?
Singleton-No, indeed. hope
am safe for another forty years, any
way.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Especially Cooked.

Brown-What are you going to make
of your boy?
him a miller. he's so interested in
meals.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Capriqenous.

Sometimes | think | never shall be
able to understand these political
terms" sighed Mrs. Jenner Lee On
diego. For instance, since my hus-
band lost that collectorship he says
he'll have to draw in his horns on
household expenses; and yet the first
thing he said when he received his
notice of dismissal was, We'll, they've
got my goat at last!'"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

How annoying! Ny wife is al.
ways ailing the hard work fatigues
her"
My wife also was always i'll, but
now she enjoys the best of health"
"How did you cure herr"
Il told her that l would give her SO
much month for her dresses and her
doctor. Since then she is quite well"
lie Sourire
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Driven to II.

Seems to me the children do moth
ing now but cut out paper dolls and
make mud pies"
We'll, the map of the world Is
changing daily, so until things are
settled they can't study history or
geography. These simplified spoilers
have put spelling up in the air. So
what are the children to do7"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Persuasion.

mo" said the timid man, 81 don't
want any flying machines today I'm
afraid of them"
why, sir" said the persuasive
salesman, "a flying machine might
save your life"
How"
you might be out riding in one
when an earthquake takes place.
Washington Star.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Treason,

'Why did Binhack leave Califor-
MAP
wouldn't brag about the climate. In
dianapolis Star.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
A Suffraaette.

What is this?"
AN invitation from Mrs. Militant
to her daughters coming out party"
Her daughters coming out party?
Why, her daughter is thirty-seven
years Old
You don't understand She's com
ing out of JAIL
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Cot Throuoh Weiohino

"She weighed his words for some
time"
Yes, and them"
'The scales fell from her eyes,
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Investment.

Have you put by some money for
q rainy day."
"Oh. yes. dear aunt"
What did you put 1t in?"
"A gold-handled, twenty-fve-dollar
lilk umbrella.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Bad Situation.

81 don't know how We'll face our
neighbors when they return"
What has happened?"
1--WE were taking care of their cat
and their parrot Yesterday the cat
ate the parrot and then died of indi-
gestion"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
His occunatlon.

Il know a man who can supply
afinities at short notice"
who is he?"
My shoemaker. He makes a bust
aess OF giving sole mates"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
The DIAGNOSIS.

Did the dog that bit you when you
tried to take his bone away seem
mad?"
We'll, he was somewhat peeved."
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Suqoestion.

He Don't you love birds?
She-Not jays.-Baltimore Ameris
can.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Her Dear Friends.

Il think Archie Allscadds has made
up his mind to marry said the vi
vacious blonde.
ITO marry Virgie Skeemer?" que
ried the sparkling brunette.
"Uh-huh."
What symptoms do you notice."
well, he wears a sort of resigned.
what s-the-use expression on his face,
and doesn't run when he sees her
roming now"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Her Status.

Jennie is very bright girl
Then why did they send her to
polishing SCHOOL,"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces iniamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle.AN
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
The Reason.

"a musical comedy is a gamble"
4 guess that is why they have book
makers in that, too"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Just So.

Anybody can get to Easy street.
You go up Perseverance avenue and
turn into Hard Work lane"
"Yes?"
THE trouble is that when they see
that last name on the corner lamp
post. most of them turn back"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

Some wives feel the need of an ex-
cuse for being married, and some
spinsters for not being.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Anu Nav He wanted

The Professor-Boy, get me fly.
New Page-Yes, sir Dead or alive,
sir Punch.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

1t isn't every man who is whole
souled when he is well heeled.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
SHE BARS THE TURKEY TR0T
Miss GeneVieve Clark, Daughter Of
Speaker, Declares Against
Uitra-Modern Dances.

Washington.-Miss Genevieve Clark
daughter of Speaker and Mrs. Clark,
has declared against the turkey trot,
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

WHEN RUBBERS BECOME NECESSARY
And your shoes pinch, Aliens Foot Ease, the
Antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes,
ing in new shoes Sold everywhere 25c Sample
FREE. Address, A. s. Olmsted LIE Roy, n. Y
Don't accept any substitute. Adv.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

Gabe E Parker the Chocaw Indian
the United
graph treasury Underneath is producon Of his o
will hereafter money Parker one
Choctaw Indian and resigned Armstrong
school in Oklahoma
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

Hickson-My wife is trying to get
into society.
Dickson-What are you doing?
Hickson-Trying to keep out of
debt
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19

"A EFHERA Watson z. Coleman, Wash
pM q So u ington. d. C. Books free. High
"a 4 hzAW ~ est references. Best results.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-11-19
Toasted to a
Golden Brown!

Sounds "smack;ng good"
doesn't it2
That's
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
EFFICIENCY IS FIRST DUTY
Railroads Gradually Extending Order
Prohibiting Use of Liquor Among
Their Employees.

Back of the undoubted trend toward
temperance in this country, says the
Atlanta Constitution, is the economic
force-the stern, unsentimental busl-
ness edict, Choose between your
drink and your job
Reform of this nature began first
with the railroads. Above all other
callings, this one requires clear heads,
steady nerves, keen eyes. Many years
ago, crews were forbidden TO drink
while on duty. The interdict is grad
ually extending to include those OFF
duty as we'll. Train dispatchers and
trainmasters and general superintend-
ents are finding that the man who
'lushes" between runs is only tribe
less menacing to safety of traffic than
the employee who carries bottle with
him on the trip. When a train is
ditched through the snap of an alco-
holized intelligence i. costs the road
money Therefore-alcoho must go.
The same principe is rapidly
spreading to all Gee cations. The
era is one of efficiency. Whisky
makes against efficiency. Personally,
you are entitled to your drink" says
the employer to his employe, but
am also entitled to efficiency. l can't
compel you to sign the pledge or to
observe the prohibition law, but can
and will secure efficiency by refusing
employment to the man who drinks"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
Death of Mrs. Jerusha Fletcher

Mrs Jerusha Chdffee Fletcher, widow
of Artimas Fletcher, died Sunday, Nov.
IS, at the home of her daughter, Mrs.
Gard in Bevidere. She had been able to
be up until the day of her death.
She was the youngest of family of
ten children of AIva and Lydia Carpenter
Chaffee. She was born in Belvidere Nov.
8, 1882, aud was m arried to Artimas
Fletcher Dec. %. 1852. They always
lived in BelVidere, with the exception of
two years in Watervile. Since his death
nine years ago Nov. % she has made her
home with her children. To them were
born eight children, six of whom are now
living-Mrs. Emma Hodgkins of Johnson,
Fred Fletcher of Albany, Frank and
Byron Fletcher and Mrs. Alberta Fetch
er Gard of Belvidere and Mrs. Stella
Chappell of Pennsylvania. She also leav s
Is grandchildren and 16 great grandchil-
dreu.
The funeral services were at the house
at 1 o'clock Wednesday, Nov. 10, Rev.
E. G. French, who preached at her hus-
bands funeral, officiating.
Those from away were Mrs. Scofeld of
Enosburg Falls, Mrs. Lizzie Domino of
Sampsonville, Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Fetch
er and two sons of Albany, Chas. Fletch-
err and wife of West Burke, Grace Hodge
kins of Hyde Park, Mrs. Emma Hodge
kins, Mr.. and Mrs. P. j. Hodgekins, Mr..
and Mrs. e. w. Griswold, Mrs. Arthur
Hooper and son and Mrs. Phil. French of
Johnson
Mrs. Fletcher will be greatly missed
her children. to VIII m she had been
spared so many years. She was faith
fai, devoted mother, true friend, be-
longing TO the "Old School," her DISPOSE
ton and PERSONAL ty possessing those
qualities of character which endeared
her to those with whom she was associat-
ed, Her mind was clear until the last
and she could remember and tell of the
events of the past much better than
those many years her junior. She will
be missed from the familiar places where
all were wont to see her. But she has
passed through the sunset gates and is
waiting on the other side for those who
linger by the way.
"There is no death, the stars go down
To rise upon some fairer shore
And shine in Heavens Jeweled crown
forever more" L. C. r.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
COST OF THE DRINK TRAFFIC
Some Startling Figures Given Regard
ing Expense of Liquor Business
to People of the Nation.

The Union Signal, official organ OF
the National Womans Christian Tenn
perance union, gives some startling
figures regarding the cost OF the liquor
traffic to the nation and points out the
need of wiser financiering. 1t has
this to say concerning the revenue
argument:
The federal government collects
some $220,0OO,00O year from the
liquor business. This includes special
taxes paid by brewers, distillers and
dealers. The estimated amount re-
ceived by state, county and municipal
governments in license and tax is
about $75000,000. Thus the total In.
ternal revenue from the traffic Is
something less than $350,000,OO0. The
average legislator and many good
citizen is honestly of the opinion that
these liquor millions are needed to
help meet the enormous expenses OF
government. They sincerely deplore
the liquor evil and would gladly see II
abolished were it not for the delus1on
that there is financial profit in licens'
ing the same. They see the money
pouring into the nations Golfers, see
the amount placed in the credit col
umn of the ledger and go their way
without stopping to consider the debit
side of the account.
Government officials and the voting
public generally Will some time be
convinced that it is very poor finan'
ciering to foster an industry which
makes so many people non-producers,
results in the degeneration of fam
lilies, and throws an army of incapables
upon the state and upon charity or
CARNATIONS. But they will have to be
shown" 1t behooves us as proh1bl-
tionists and as public sentiment max
ers to show them that 1.-The cost OF the
drink traffic to the United States ap-
proximates annually $5,OOO,OOO,o0O IN
loss of products, mortality and IN
crime and pauperism." Five billion
dollars as against three hundred and
fifty million-a balance OF $4,65O,O0o,-
900 on the debit page! 1t requires
more ILldu IllItStL eiiO
of revenue received from the trafhc
to take care of it's consequences! me
figures are astounding, but they are,
we are assured by Prof. John A. Mich
oils in his Economic Studies OF the
Liquor Problem" the result OF care
full and conservative investigation
made by expert statisticians
We must show further that aboli-
ton of the liquor business does not
mean abolition of the money it repre-
sents; that under nationwide proh1-
bition the same $3.50, 100000 will still
be in circulation, still available for
government needs; and that there are
better and wiser ways of collecting
it from the people than through sa-
and brewers and distillers.
The new income tax amendment to
the federal constitution provides one
way. Other ways and means Will
quickly be devised as the brains OF
voters, lawmakers and government
financiers become more and more free
from the benumbing and befogging in
fiuence of alcohol.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
CASTOR OIL IS
Different NOW
THAT is, THE TASTE AND
ODER HAVE BEEN REMOVED
kelogg's Tasteless Castor Oil is the Best
Laxative in 5000 Years

Spencer Kellogg & Sons of Buffalo, oil
reiiners, have succeeded in taking the
offensive taste and smell out of cas- tor oil
The Kelloggs have done what chemists
have tried to do and failed for 5000 years.
Doctors recommended castor oil as the
simplest, safest and best laxative. Every
household will use it oftener now that it
is tasteless.
Kellogg's Tasteess Castor Oil is pure,
clear, refined castor oil, and so entirely
without taste that children take it easily.
This perfect laxative is now on sale in
al drug stores, Order KellOgg's Taste
less Castor Oil by Lame, TO distinguish it
from various mixed and favored castor
oils,which are not tasteless. The trade
mark is on every label-a green castor
leaf bearing the Observation-Disclosures. Csc
and SOC sizes.
Made only by Spencer Kellogg & Sons.
Inc, Buffalo. N. Y, refiners of vegetable
oils. adv
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
WELL TOLD
By O Morrisville Resident

The following has more interest for
Morrisville residents than it otherwise
would have because Mr.. Small is one of
ourselves, citizen of Morrisville. If it
proves CT assistance to but one person in
Morrisvile, IL will have been well worth
the telling.
Z. IL. Small, carriage painter, Randolph
ST., Morrisville, VT, says: "For long
time l suffered from attacks of backache,
and soreness across my loins. | felt dull
and languid and had other symptoms of
kidd ey trouble. Being told about Doan's
Kidney Pills, got a box at Cheney's
Drug Store. Before / had used them
long, | found that they were helping me.
| continued taking this remedy and it
made decided improvement"
ADDED PRAISE.
Mr.. Small was intervie wed later and he
said: 81 cheerfully confirm my former
endorsement of Doan's Kidney Pills.
Whenever l have need of kidney medi-
cine. l take this one and it acts just as
represented"
For sale by all dealers. Price so cents.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York.
sole agents for the United States.
Remember the Named oan's-and take
no other. adv.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-12-03
THE BEST CHRISTMAS
PRESENT

How often have you thought,
IF I could only give my boy or
girl a present that would be a
lasting benefit instead of CRAFTY
ing a passing whim." A toy is
soon worn out and cast aside,
books are read once and then
laid away. In both cases the
giver's connection with the gift
is soon forgotten.
You desire to make a present
that will be preserved and used
longer than a few brief months
and one that will be a &C Instant
reminder of your thoughtfulness
and love in the years to come.
1t is now possible to make such
gift. The Savings Bank at
Hyde Park has a little Self-regis-
tering Home Savings Bank that
will be loaned to you on deposit
of one dollar (S1.OO). 1t is small
enough to send by Parcel Post at
very little expense, but large
enough to hold over fifteen dol
lars ($15.OO) in coin. 1t is hand
somely finished in nickel and
makes a beautiful present, not
only for the child but also for an
older person. 1t is intended to
promote habits of thrift in the
young people by teaching them
to save their pennies and bring
to the bank for deposit. 1t is a
convenience to the adult who has
a few dollars at time to be laid
aside for the rainy day which is
sure to come.
When the little bank is first
brought to us to be emptied a
pass book is issued to the depos-
itor and on the first days of Jan
uary and July of each year two
cents (2c) interest will be added
to the account for every dollar
which has been on deposit for
six months. If, for any reason,
it is desired to surrender the little
bank at some future time the
dollar which was paid for it will
be returned to the owner.
We would be very glad to hear
from anyone DESTROYS of making
a Christmas present that. in
many instances, will be treasured
as a stepping stone to a success
ful and prosperous life.
A postal card bearing your
name and address will eprompt-
" answered, giving full particu-
lars regarding this little bank.
Lamoille County Savings Bank
& Trust Company, Hyde Park,
Vermont.