Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-01-24
II OE.THEMO1MGNT
AN by Rem <. Moulton. q

situations and wandered into the pest
house. He returned home, came down
with the smallpox and it cost the tax
payers of this village $476.39 to keep
him in quarantine and idleness. Nothim'
like enjoyin' yourself AT somebody
else's expense.
Blonde trimmers seem to be all the
go nowadays. Miss Amy Pringle has
had seven OF them at her millinery
emporium hand running lately. FL
iner Jones says most men like blonde
women and blonde women like most
men. Grandpa ibbin false teeth
was cracked by the frost last Thurs
day night.
The concert by the Hickeyville Sill
Yer Cornet band was postponed until
next week because Hank Tumins lost
all the wind outen the bass drum and
have ii filled again. Also the valves
In Seth Stinson's Il Hat cornet got
froze. They told him to breathe into
the cornet fer to thaw 1T out and ne
done SO. after which hix cornet PLAYED
intoxicatin' music.
Some fellers are % weak kneed
that their legs look like a letter X.
Elmer Jones was down to the city
the other day. He paused for a sec
ond to turn and look at "A young
woman and was hit by seven oatmo-
biles at the same time.
Lem Higgins asked Doc Hanks
what he was treatin' Anse Frisby
for and Doc said ne was treatin'
Anse for So.
Hold Peters couldn't sleep and he
went to a doctor and took treat
ment for insomnia. and now he
sleeps so sound that the people in
his neighborhood have entered com
plant that they can't hear the G
O'Clock whistle blow i'm the morning.
Every Teller owns the best oatmo-
h{Va. IN fh. ,s-~~11
Man descended from the money.
but some of EN- haven't descended
very far.
Hank Tumms says Doc Hanks is
the greatest doctor i'm the world.
Doc told Hank wife that she would
have to keep her mouth shu and
breathe through her nose.
Grandma Perkins. VIII" has been
very low the past two months, is en-
gagged i'm %shinglin' the fire engine
house at this writing. A woman from
down to the city saw the sign: wide
door of the engine house the other
daN and went in and tried to buy a
pain of stockin's. All the rubes don't
live i'm the small towns.
There is so much sparkin' going on
IN this mans town at this writing
that the insurance companies are
threatening to raise the rates. as they
think property here is a poor risk. 1t
ls rumored in polite society circles
there were so many couples at Deacon
StubbS matrimonial emporium recently
that the Youngest Miss Stubbs and
her steady had to sit on the pianner.
Miss Euphemia Perkins. our poetess
OF passion has given up Writin' for the
magazines and has taken up the less
artlstic. but more profitable advertisin'
business. Her work is now published
all over this country. but without much
any signature. She amt dom much
IN the way OF fame. but is eating three
times a day. which is more to IN
point. Some of her recent efforts fol-
low:
Jlm Hanks was always gruntin'
round. beset by many ills.
He'd tried most every brand of dope
includin' all the pills.
he was so very poorly he could not
work very much.
HIS wife II had to hustle for the
breakfast fOod and such.
He tried Doc Bibbins' remedy n day
along last fall.
And now he is a happy man. He cam
not work at ALL"
When saueaky wagons mar your
peace.
Try Haskins' patent axle grease"
Your husband may be called away
M ilay OC ICll a. u
It's better to have dOne a thing
Than to wish you nae did.
Show him that he has your respect
While he Is still on top
OF earth. Buy him a monument
At Virgins marble shop.
Postmaster Tibbitts now claims that
he has been a democrat fer 40 years
and that he voted fer Wilson, but Lem
Hanks says ~somebuddy else will be
lickin' h postage stamps in that pust-
Office the next -four years. Lem was
give Wilson his support bright and
early the morning after election.
Every male inhabitant Of Hickeyville
has played in the Silver COrnet band
at some time ar other. u most of 'em
have lived 1t down.
will be fuller next easOn bu Uncle
Ezra Harkins says 1t don't look to
him AZ though they could ever be
much fuller than they are right now.
The defeated candidate who asks for
a cot gen'ally And out that he was
the first place.
A Teller who is observing always has
plenty of umbrellas.
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
Vincent Aston says he is busy
to fall in love. This seems 9 shame.
az Vincent Is one Of the few who can
really AFFORD 1t.
An eastern savant Is advocating q
universal brotherhood. but there will
w be one 80 long ~ Taft and the
Colonel are on earth.
Kaiser Wilhelm 10 criticised for hob
nObbing with the rich. Yes, q man In
his position can't be too careful Of his
Am fha telegram and the