davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
Vote for the Auditorium

Four weeks from today the voters
of Birmingham will elect a president
of the city commission to succeed
President Culpepper Exum and at the
same time they will have an oppor-
tunity of expressing themselves
through the ballot in favor of bond
issue not exceeding $4,000 to pro-
vide a large auditorium. Nearly
every city of 100000 and upwards has
an auditorium of large seating ca
pacity. Birmingham must have such
an auditorium if it is ever to become a
convention city.
Birmingham, with all its material
prosperity, has municipal govern
ment that is poor financially. 1t will
remain poor until the legislature pro-
vides for change in our taxing sys-
tenn. In the meantime, the commits
sioners are right in practising rigid
economy. Whatever else may be said
in criticism of our commission govern
ment everyone knows that it is com
posed of men who are absolutely hon
est and who guard with scrupulous
care the city treasury. Expenses have
been cut down so that the city's annual
deficit will be minimlzed. But the
auditorium may be regarded as a real
necessity and the city ought to build it.
A 100000 bond issue will be readi-
ly purchased by local investors and it
is believed that large part of the
interest that would have to be paid
annually would be made up by the
rents that would be derived from a
well situated auditorium.
BY next spring Birmingham will
have ample hotel facilities sufficient
to accommodate almost any large ma
tional convention. 1t is hoped there
will be decisive majority in favor
of the auditorium bond issue and if it
is so the commissioners will forthwith
order a special bond election. The city
should be able to break ground on the
auditorium not later than November.
The building could then be completed
by May or June of next year. Just as
soon /as the bonds are voted the con-
vention committee of the Chamber of
Commerce will "get busy" and secure
many large gatherings for 1914.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
"SEw YORK LIFE.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The novel of New York life continues
in large numbers to embitter the public
AGAINST that helpless city. Nobody seems
to remember that residence in New
York isn't at all necessary to complete
understanding of the undercrust of the
big town. Somebody, possibly New
Yorker. wrote the first novel on the long
sbelf-the rest trailed after. They are all
alike. For instance, here Is a slight va
ration of the stereotypsd dialog:
Deliberately fiicking the ash from her
Pearl-of-the-Har cigarette she strove
to regain her composure.
''Then the girl is in the city,"
He lowered above her with his back to
the pickering blaze.
'At 1923 she landed on pier H.
The woman shuddered
"She is doomed"
"She will end by going on the STAGE
he answered dispassionately.
"And Washington Goldbug still lives.'
she hissed
leave him to me- said the man in
vate safe will be cracked in two places
by my orders. AT midnight this good
right hand will close on the Butterscotch
ruby!'
"And the papers which incrimlnate me
what of them?' she shrieked.
"They are no longer there" he careless
ly replied But she knew he lied. and she
knew, too, that she must dissemble.
His hand caught the bell rope.
"Six highballs." he called to the noise-
less servant. When they came he drank
them one by one. and then tried to walk
through the mirror. sMuch as she loathed
him she showed him the door.
II must change my hair for the opera, >
she murmured and faltered after the re-
treating figure.
The next moment the window curtains
parted and a clean shaven man with
dreamy eyes stepped into the room.
1t was Strelinsky, the famous analyti-
cal detective! w. X. ROSE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18

cepted the situation and are ready to
readjust their operations to meet the
new conditions.
When the democrats were victorious
last November eastern bankers and
manufat turers began a mighty alarm
ist cry. They predicted ruination to
this country's commercial and indus
trial interests by reason of the re-
forms that the democrats would under
take to carry out according to their
formal pledges.
Early in the present year there was
a very strong sentiment among a cer-
tain class of business men throughout
the country, regardless of politics,
against Mr. Wilson calling special
session of Congress to consider and
pass an Underwood tariff bill, but the
new President, Mr. Underwood and
other leaders insisted that such>im-
pOILdHI dCIlOH dS OuaI COilleAi pldleu
should be taken without any unneees-
ing the early months of the session but
called. Pessimists were plentiful dur
the early months of this session but
the business world has now steadied
itself; most of the pessimists have dis
appeared and today prosperity is in
full swing.
1t is gratifying, of course, to find
the great financiers of the east chang
ing from pessimism to optimism. 1t
may be many weeks yet before Con
gress can finish the work with which
the extra session has been busted, but
the outlook is bright. The huge crops
of the country will soon be harvested
and as the fall approaches business
activity will be in evidence from the
Atlantic to the Pacific.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18

piain as day that this Is what the amend-
ment means" They then proceed to give
A different constructions of it, with as
many variations of provisos, and then
next day take 1t all back and declare that
their first opinion was a little hasty
Some hold that the governor of a state
in case of the death OF one of the senators
representing that state may issue writs
of an election for his successors without
the consent of the legislature provided his
wife Is willing. Others hold that he can
appoint senator without consulting the
Legislature provided he can get away with
it, Still others say that he can do
neither and expect his man to be seated
without the aid of the standing army.
Quite a few of our most able lawyers
believe that the absolutely safest way
would be to FIRST appoint senator then
call the legislature together and order OF;
the state militia to see that they don't
do anything but confirm the appointment.
then after the appointment is confirmed
pass a law providing for an election, see
to it that the senator appointed is duly
elected according to law--if you can find
out what the law is-send him to Wash
ington with his credentials and all the
constitutional lawyers in the state. and
maybe they'll let Kim take slant az the
capitol before they put him in jail.
In the meantime the United States Sem
ate is itself the sole judge OF the legality
of the claims of any person to a seat
in that body.
That's the rub. The United States Sem
ate is composed of eS perfectly imminent
high browed constitutional lawyers Moth
ing but constitutional lawyers ever get
looS in at the United States Senate. You
may elect a perfectly respectable citizen,
who never saw the inside of a courthouse,
and who wouldn't know the difference be-
tween an assault and battery and aces
up to the United States Senate and forth
with he becomes a great constitutional
lawyer. Heswill at once admit It himself.
Moreover, he believes 1t. He then starts
on campaign endeavoring to make
everyone else believe it.
This accounts for the lucidity and all
that sort of thing of all our laws. We
certainly would be in an awful fix in this
country IL the people should ever take a
notion to elect someone to Congress who
would pass a law that says what it
means and means what it says. There is
not a chance for such thing, however.
so forget 1t, for if such law was passed
it would be proven unconstitutional before
the man who passed it could be politically
asassinated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
MADE MILLIONS IN SILENCE

plete and detailed information about the
financial status of the Providence lines
and all the needful engineering data BY
noon Monday $13,000,000 had been paid for
the property he had gone to look at The
several lines were converted into electric
systems and capitalized at $l600O, 900. 1t
was said that Brady could squeeze the
water out of steel rails. 1t is also be-
lieved he knew something about making
steel and other non-aqueous substances
lick up water.
Besides buying and reorganizing the
Chicago Gas company Brady went into
the street railway promotion business in
Brooklyn, the development of power COM
ranies in the SOUTH power and electric
companies In Japan, American. Tobacco
and many other things. They never came
too fast or got too big for Brady to ham
die He was what Wall street knew as
free lance" He hooked up with this
banking house to put over this deal and
next year was in league with some other
money power in swinging something else
equally big. And there Was another
reason they called him a mole. That was
hVNhuSO WnOhCfSI a sifShl upnedNdl WAS
detected In big financial deal they knew
Anthony Brady was down below doing
the digging.
Brady lacked a whole lot of looking
like yoor storied kings of finance He
was shy almost six inches of being six
feet tall, and never weighed more than
15G pounds. It's said IL you have looked at
him on Broadway you'd have taken him
for a booklxeeper. And-get this--he had
round, little bullet shaped head, sparsely
covered with gray hair His face was
rather small and round and his features
were not at all commanding. He had
small eyes, sharp and devoid of expyes-
sion. He never cared anything about
making display of his wealth. He never
went in for society. never owned q race
horse or a yacht, played bum game Of
golf and bad game of billiards. He
vas. however, an eloquent listener" and
could take pretty good care of his stack
of chips in a friendly poker game.
1t has Just been discovered that Brady's
personal fortune equalled the total of $780,
100000 rolled up by the late ]. Piarpont
Morgan, and yet he was just about as re-
mote an antithesis of that art collecting,
world wide financial figure as It is pos
sible to imagine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18

D. T. NaeDougal, in Harper's Magazine
for September.
Climbing aboard a loaded baggage camel
a. practiced by the camelteers was much
like scrambing into a moving wagon, but
mounting a kneelng camel might develop
the unexpected, and it was noted that even
cur veteran sheik frequently called
boy to steady his animal while he got In
place The camel is kneeling with h-the
calloused projection of its breastbone rest
ing heavily ON the ground and YOU ap-
proach the padded seat which lies at the
level of your belt, and looks as accessible
as an arm chair in quiet room. To get
in place yqIl must throw the right knee
over the forward pommel, then grab both
pommels as anchorage against the COM
ing upheaval. This may follow with such
lightning like rapidity that you are incon-
tinently dumped to one side, while even
the most athletic sometimes go up clinging
to the side of the saddle and scramble
into the seat later Proper assistance
to the dignified rider who does not care
for such display consists in holding down
the head of the animal, while a loop
OF the riding line around the bent fore
leg prevents the camel from rising until
the rider is up. When both restraints
are removed, the animal instantly gets
into position for the rise, fitting the sad
die backward, then comes up on its hind
legs, finishing with swift jerk in front
and a shaking toss the separate move
ments being dsconcerning to the novice.
Once aloft, the rider may sit in a va
riety of positions, which eases the long
day and is far less fatiguing than SIM
liar length of time on horseback The
height is such that the head is held nine
or 10 feet above the ground, producing
much the same feeling of elation as that
remembered from riding the old high
wheel bicycle, and at the same time Civ
ing rise to speculations as to the result
of header. My own desire for knowl-
edge was soon to be satisfied A fortnight
after the start the caravan emerged from
which we had been plodding for four
days, and as it was important to reach
water before nightfall, the three riders
secuted ahead to find a sealed we'll reputed
to lie near the margin of the sand. Cross
ing a small ridge of limestone about noon
time, the pacing camel stumbled on a
stone no larger than a golf ball and turned
somersault which catapulted me to
distance of several yards, where l landed
unhurt. However, before L could run
back the animal was up and away, and
| was compelled to trail 1t to Bir Dilxkar,
carrying instruments and other articles
dropped from the torn saddle bags.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
IMPRESSIONS OF DRAMATIsTs

owen Hatteras in September Smart Set
Ibsen--A clergyman sticking head
first in rain barrel a college
professors low intrigue with a char
woman dehentia praecox :.
Ostermoors.
observation-disclosures sliding down
a pale, leprous rock F. blind nun
lost in den of lizards a goldfish
drunk on absinthe.
Sardou-Sarah Bernhardt with her
hair on fire a cauldron of boiling
blood . an empress captured by
white slave traders bugle calls
in hell.
Shaw-A witty speech from the scat
fold . Anthony Comstock pursued
by Marguerite Gautier. with Marguerite
gaining every minute -. a phono-
graph record of the Ten Command
ments, running backward.
Brieux--An autopsy in a drawing
room. with a concealed orchestra play
ing, "Oh, Promise Mel" Romeo
and Juliet" by coroner's jury, with
the coroner as Romeo kissing
through aseptic gauze.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18

them. 1t is positively disgusting to
have those 'buzzards' who fattened
upon the south in her days of travil.
recalled as even having occupied tho
governors chair, not only In those
states named. but yet others. I hopc
we may not be called continually to
remember those unhappy facts; not at
lease without emphasizing the souths
Reputation in toto of those who hn-
inflated and oppressed her in her
saddest and darkest hours.
Governor sulzer represents in his
personality the struggles upward of a
man of humble origin. Had he not
been so Enthusiastically caught in the
net of his enemies, it is probable that
he would have been pointed,5t by
mothers and fathers to inspire their
sons; as it is. he Will become the tar
get, as he has become the victim of
politicians, who viii say: 'Sulzer de-
fed Tammany, and you see what the
Tiger did for Sulzer!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18


w eiai)-some Of these days a
w statesman is going to build
for himself a monument more lasting than
bronze. and win immortal fame by writ
ing law in plain English ON which there
can be placed blN one construction-and
that what 1t was originally intended that
the law should mean.
We have too many lawyers to make our
laws. 1t is the business of lawyers not
to agree; they make their living by not
agreeing. A. lawyer who agrees to any
thing is considered a disgrace to the pro-
fession. II he can't convert ham sand
wich into writ of Injunction and prove
it, he is a one gallus wart on a dill pickle
50 far as the profession is concerned
The seventeenth amendment to the fed
eral constitution was written for the ex-
press purpose of changing the old plan of
electing United States senators. Under
the old plan a senator was elected by the
legislature of the state. II he died the
governor mad power to appoint his sue
cessor to fill the vacancy until the legis-
lature met and elected another senator.
The seventeenth amendment was intended
" .Shdh5S tiilS system anu tfansler lHe
power OF election to the people. Il also
intended that no senator who was elected
under the old plan should be disturbed,
except mentally, as to how he was going
to hold his job.
But IL the author of the seventeenth
amendment had engaged the services of
the whole supreme court he could not
have written an instrument more confus-
ing. In his attempt to protect senators
already elected, and to provide for their
SUCCESSORS in case of death, he succeeded
in creating a legislative mystery that is
one of the masterpieces of confusion and
50 horse power imbeciity ever placed
upon the statute books. Any lawyer who
ever got far enough advanced to try a
hog case before n justice of the peace can
take this instrument and prove to the emil
nent satisfaction of any court that Swiss
cheese Is made OF porous plasters and
sandpaper and that Vice President Mar
shall is first cousin to Queen ILL., who-
ever she is.
Compared with the stock interrogation
of who hit Billy Patterson, the severn
teenth amendment is some puzzle.
Grave and dignified constitutional law
years have wrinkled their brows over
this eminently classy piece of legislation
and then handed down opinions that were
about as intelligible TO plain citizen as
the Dutch alphabet would be to the aver
age hobo. Everyone of them says tits as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News
Make few promises and keep what you
make.
Excuse will not hold the friends that
promises bring.
There may be fun in doing the things
you can afford.
One satisfactory thing about marriage
is the prelude.
1t takes woman to look cool ON q
warm day when she isn't.
A girl without beau is as lonesome as
a flea without dog
And she who loves and runs away may
have fit of regret later.
Love may not make the world go round.
but it makes lot of people giddy.
The strut of a turkey gobbler isn't in it
with that of the leading citizen in a vii
lage.
A pair of yellow shoes doesn't age more
quickly than a pretty girl after mis-
taken marriage.
It's hard for some children TO under-
stand why they should take their troubles
to the Lord when they have q mother.
The man who is too effusive in ex-
pr 5sing his gratitude for small favor
ls batting his hook for larger one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Active Retail Trade


"Birminghams retail trade has been
more active this summer than usual, I
think" said a member of the Cham
Der of Commerce. I'VE have had sea-
sonable weather and that counts for a
good deal. Hot weather IN June. July
and August naturally makes it COM
paraticely easy for c1othiers and dry
goods merchants to work off their sum-
mer stocks.
Ihe pay rolls of the Birmingham
olstrlct have kept right up regardless
OF business lulls in some parts of the
country. Now that business through
out the United States is picking IN
and prosperity talk is heard among all
classes very brisk fall trade is as
sured. The Birmingham district has
had many prosperous years, but L doubt
II any previous year wiz be recalled as
better than 1913"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
A BALLAD 70 A FRIEND

Richard Iee Galiienne in September Smart
Set.
Sore in need was of a faithful friend.
And 1t seemed 10 me that life
Had come to it's much desired end
Just then God gave me wife.
had seen the beauty of fairy things,
And seen the women walk;
had heard the voice of the seven sins
And all the wonderful talk.
All. the promising earth that seems SO
kind
And the comrades with outstretched
hand,
But did you ever stand alone
In a black, forsaken land?
Then the wonderful things that God can
do
One comes to understand
How He turns the desert dust to dream,
And the lonely wind to friend
And makes a bright beginning
OF what had seemed the end
Twas in such an hour God placed In
mine
The moonbeam hand Of friend.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
street Car Signs

What do not understand said pro-
fessional man, lis why the street car
management is so unwilling to care for
our comfort in the very little matter of
readable destination or route names on
sides and ends of all the cars.
For years we have been asking for this
little courtesy, and yet some important
lines have not been equipped. 1t is espe-
cially hard on the short-sighted patron,
who needs to read the sign at a distance
of 20 yards or so. Lakeview and Highland
avenue cars, Fountain Heights, Norwood
and some even of the North and South
Highlands and loop cars are, think, the
chief offenders South Fifteenth street
cars are SO clearly distinguishable that
one wonders why some regard should not
be had to the comfort of residents on other
lines"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
pIrmingham,s Rapid Growth

"rhe occasional visitor, as might be ex-
peoted notices the growth of Birmingham
more readily than do the residents of the
city," said L. T. Travers of Chicago
my first visit to Birmingham was In
1890. While Birmingham made some pre-
tentions at that time it was, compara-
lively speaking, only an ove~grown min
ing town. The last time l came here was
in 1900. There had been very decided ad-
vance. Birmingham showed growth ard
very important improvements in the resi-
dence sections. But this is my third visit
and I do not recognize Birmingham as
the city of other years.
II would say that Birmingham had a
population of about 100000. l know the
census of 1910 was a little over 132,0OO and
it may not have more than l75,0N today,
but there are indications of rapid rate of
growth | would not be surprised to see
Birmingham with population of between
OO0OO and 100000 in 1920.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
Sentiment Favoring Tariff Revision

From New York and other great
business and manufacturing centers
come the reports that sentiment is
now almost unanimous in favor of
speedy enactment into law of the two
rreat democratic measures-the tariff
revision bill and the currency reform
bin Business men and manufactur-
ers. even those who opposed lowering
she tariff, have, in most cases, ae-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
MIR. CLAYToN's GRIP GOOD

From the Beaumont cTex.) Enterprise.
Hon. Henry D. Clayton is wise in keep,
ing four digits and thumb on his bench
In the lower house until the Senate seats
him. With every little democratic vote
in the Senate having a greater meaning
all its own than it has possessed in
many years, believe us the Senate will
not be blessed with the presence of the
gentleman from Alabama without a strug-
s<1a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-18
NO FEET ON THE RAILING.

From the JacksOnVilIe Times-Union-
The Birmingham Age-Herald says:
"rhree young women In East ST. Louis
served on the jury last week and each
has had proposal of marriage since. All
they needed, 1t seems, was q chance to
show themselves" Must have been good
lockers. Jury bcx is not much of =
place for exhibitions