The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-13
ny MAE WEST.

Tho very first thing I want to tell
you is that I don't have to do this
for living; I'm good looking, and
there isn't possible argument about
that. because 1 admit it. That's old
the cut Of that fetching gown-get the
fetching. that's word heard
while nobody was looking, and it's Il
mighty good word because Mr.. Web
ster. probably the best of our short
story writer's az that's over your head,
grow taller) says so-well, anyway
forgetting the old stuff. I'm writing
this because l do love Richmond
You know L began this story nil
wrong: honest l did. The fellow who
asked me would 1 write it said that
could do just as I liked. but he told
me to tell the news Of it first. Maybe
you haven't guessed, but I'm an actor.
Sometimes even we actors are human,
lust sometimes, but at that we think
pretty we'll of ourselves. My business
is fooling the public into thinking I'm
funny, and yesterday / had the biggest
time of my life. Shucks. here l am
Just az bad off as when 1 started.
This is the story of going around to
lot of places and seeing n lot OF pco-
pie and buying just what 1 wanted at
Just the right prices Pay day is n
long way off. so 1 didn't buy-much.
If you must know. I'm five feet four
and half inches tall look much
taller when I'm on. result Of makeup
and fetching gowns, and etc.-and all
this week I've just been dying to see
Richmond (Listen. I've got to put
that in because it's part of the In
structions) Nevertheless CHATS my
gag line In my act: l use 1t as often
as / can, because after 1 use IL few
times people begin to sit UP and watch
NJ Inln To III
to see Richmond. Say. If ] take you
into my confidence. you won't squal,
Will you? This goes writing stories
aint--rub that amt outs no pipe.
believe me. There l was describing
myself. m-y-y-sel-f-f-f, and without
knowing it. 1 drifted into things of no
consequence.
Some OF you may have forgotten 1t,
but I'm good looking. My hair is OF
that different kind. different color and
different texture (pretty good IAN
guage, that, and you'll find texture
in the It's" up close to the top OF the
column: more old stuff); anyway, my
hair is pretty, and the tout ensemble
(guess that's rotten) is something TO
brng about. Anyway, as 1t were. I've
been hero week and I like it. and
The Times Dispatch is great news
paper. and 1 went shopping.
That's what l started out to say, but
1 forgot. and then I'm somewhat in
terested In myself. nevertheless. or
words to that effect; here goes for
good description of what l saw when
that goodlooking young man. MIR:
Mitchell. threw me into the folds or
his speciality enamoured. or is 1t
enamelled, Cadillac touring car, and
started me on my trip.
You know I'm a good looking girl.
! don't want you to forget that. May
be some time I won't be so good look
ing but 1t won't be my fault. Any
way they like me ut the theatre.
, would say more. lots more. about my
self, but I'm modest. But as you
might say, when Mr.. Mitchell and my
self and the car started down that
beautiful street rightly called Broad
they did look at Me-. OF course Mr..
| Mitchell was handsome and all that,
but they forgot about him.
Nevertheless, ! kind OF ike that
word: | think n whole lot more OF it
| Than / do OF BE that as it may" or
| Words to that effect" or 1T may
| please you to know" so. nevertheless,
| they we're looking at me. Seems TO
me as IL like to be looked at-but II
| you really want to find out how l am.
come to see me. I'm ut the Lyric. Just
ask for the foolish party: thatn be
Ill. thank you.
| Now float with me down Broad Street.
John Corley is his name. He isn't
| j ohm to everybody. but he and me know
each other oh, ages ago. up i'll New
York. And ! know Mrs. Corley, too, so
that settles all arguments Mr.. Cor
| ley sells pianos and organs and inner
player pianos and lot OF other things,
He had a new opera in and wanted me
! to sing 1t. In the first place 1t was
written in italian, something like
"Chianti, Barigaldi. Sphngehht Ban
rani." but l can't sing note or Italian.
| Honestly, l can't sing ut all, but johns
| n nice fellow and l like him.
| From there we went to S T.. Bishops.
He makes nighties. pajamas and things
| like that. I'm not married. but IT
| ever am, the man who Is lucky enough
to win me will carry n sign. so l can
see It. IT wear unmcntionables made by
bishop" I've named Mr.. Bishop the
| laughing kid. He has the cutest lit
tlest. choked off expression I've ever
noticed
] Now this Is for women only. young
women: II you're really looking for
q meal ticket: don't pass up o. VI.
Berry's. l was in there and 1 know.
They have tho finest line Of men I've
ever seen and I've been far West
enough to dip my feet In the Pacific
and have walked Hampton Roads until
they got dusty. Mr. Starke introduced
me 20 all the men clerks and l was
80 nice to Thorn that they all loved me