The Topeka state journal., 1913-12-26
when Aunt Polly Failed.
(By Grace Kerrigan.)

| AS0 AAA0ekS was "a years OLD ana ne
and Maggie Travers had been engaged
Tor three months. He had just come
pack to town from q run down to
chestnut Grange, where Miss Travers
lived, when his Aunt Polly arrived from
Michigan. AS soon as she had removed
ner nat and the kissing was over she
folded her hands ON her lap.
so you are engaged?" she re-
/ marked.
II am. Aunty."
hope you have made no mistake"
1T isn't possible"
But lots of young men have.''
You see, Aunty, am a bookkeeper
take 100 as the basis and figure:
Good looks. 20 per cent: her love for
me. 10 per cent: vfvaciousness, 10 per
cent. That makes 100 per cent, or par
value. doesn't It? There can be no
Then you want to stop this thing
right where 1t is or become hem
pecked husband and q nonentity! The
cnances are thousand to one, how
ever. that she'll cuddle down and let
her opinions play second fiddle. 1 am
| advising you for your own good. I do
not want to see you make a snarl Of
| your life. There was John Truelove
and Sarah Woodhouse. She was care
ful not to cross his opinions while they
were courttng. and he married her
thinking she was as soft as putty. In
four weeks"
But Fred hadn't time to hear more.
He gave his aunt's advice serious
thought during the next week. There
wasn't much boss and bulldozer about
him. and yet he realised that some
body in the family ought to be boss
| little bit anyhow. He wouldn't
pound ON the wall with his fist and get
red in the face as he insisted that the
| whale swallowed Jonah, but how nice
| 1t would be to have wife who wouldn't
question the alleged fact and demand
| more particulars than have ever been
furnished the public yet.
Is there any reason why would not
be the head Of my house?" he asked his
aunt one evening. a week later
There may be a dozen for all I
know but the main point is does she de-
fer to YOUR
You mean-?
about things and sticks to it, no. mat
ter what-you say?"
Moo. think not. don't remem-
Der that we have disputed about any
thing"
II dunno. Fred-I dunno! Most girls
will dispute when they are enTaEed.
Just to show on. II nothing more. Some
do 1t out Of ~mtochief. ard others to
show that they can't be bossed. When
was engaged to your uncle Ruben II
thousht knew everything worth
knowing. and after our marriage 1t
never occurred to me to question any
thing he said. I have found out since
his death that he was wrong in believ-
Ing the Atlantic ocean was nine mil
Hon miles wide, but 'sposen had found
1t out during his lifetime and called him
a liar about 1t? He always insisted
that the moon was only twenty-efght
miles from the earth, and while firm
ly believed that 1t was at thirty-five
was I going to get up a row by saying
so?"
'I shan't expect a wife to truckle to
me-" observed Fred
But you won't to herr
''Of course not
But somebody's opinion has got to
settle things"
mot necessarily. There is such al
thing as agreeing to disagree, isn't
there?"
why. you poor boy. how little you
know about the female sex! Just find
me girl who makes q statement OPP
posed to yours. and is willing to let
you on by agreeing to disagree, and
I'll find an angel on earth for you.
She'll be mad because you don't agree,
and there may be strained relations for
a week There was Abigail Hastings
and VIII Barnes. win said that a To-
Gust had roots
But you see, Aunty. this Is an al
together different case I have taken
proved to you that Miss Travers sizes
up exactly 1O0.'
'sWell." said Aunt Polly with a sigh,
IF the world has come to the point
where girls can be sized up by book
keeping tactics there isn't much use
in wasting any more time In sparkling"
And your advice to me is-?"
Next time you go down there stick
to your opinion. Lord 1t over her a bit
and see what the result it.
But she may get mad and tell me
to go to the pot"
M ,..swh< dn,,hx <ra< -. rsns.,..I
were hung to the best advantage, or
that the icebox was in the most suit
able place to display its bronze knob |
and hinges to all callers. and II the
wife readily agreed with him what a
happy evening they could pass!
Further. there might come a time
when she would read that the
Princess Louise had thirty-two pairs
OF shoes. She would at once declare
that she was at least half as good as |
the princess, and set out to collect an
assortment of sixteen pairs< It would |
for her to put her feet In about two
pairs.
His aunt had always advised him
for the best. and she being a woman
understood the sex better than he did.
There might be much gained and
nothing lost by carrying out the pro-
gram. Fred told her Of his decision |
and was highly commended
There was creek cr0ssing the high |
way not far from the Grange. and a |
dozen times over Miss Ma8g5e and |
Fred had stood on the little bridge and |
watched the fish SWIMMING below. |
they were there again. So were the |
fish In her ignorance Of fish and /
fisheries the girl presently almost
whispered:
'.Oh. Fred. see that monstrous bull
head there!"
THAT h not q bullhead. dear-its
= baas,. replied Fred
It wasn't q baas any more than # l
wns . whale, but the golden opportun- |
ity had come to the nephew to take /
advantage Of his aunt's advice. It