davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13
***+sss 90 = 90.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

-
SANDER is 1lattery turned wrong
side out. ~
A real hero has no desire to roost
In the limelight.
You can't always sec tho finish Of
= polished man.
Some women are nervous ana nome
are naturally nervy.
People seldom attempt to Sit On
the man who stands up for himself.
You can't ring the gong Of success,
by pushing a button. ~
Love is the wine Of life n old
oachelors are prohibitionists.
II = ma 10 obliEtns he il apt to be
POPULAR because he can be imposed
Fortunate 10 the man who falls. IN
love at frst siEht-if he v rAts
another look. ees'
There " was q man 10 noor
that he wasn't willing to share his
poverty with some woman.
The coat may unmake the man who
10 forced to wear 1t when the mercury
10 hirting with the 100 mark.
Nothing is apt to make a Girl ~
angry az the thought that a YOUNG
man thinks he could kiss her II he
wanted to.
AFTER z woman has been trottinr in
double arness for q few years IL
makes her sore every time. she sees a
newly married couple making love
Sporting men should remember
sney can't get all the exercise. they
"eed oy reading the sporting page
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

mean to he, not only productive. but
happy. And mems ideas Of happiness
differ. But few. We imagine. lend hap
piness in submitting their lives TO the
control Of Others. There are some
things in this world that are as well
saved az money. Health is one Of
them. Another is the capacity for
enjoyment. The world owes some
thing even to it's great loafers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Perhaps Huerta is being eneour.
aged by the declaration Of some of
our high army officers that we are
not prepared for war. But what would
happen to Huerta and Mexico could
hardly be termed war.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Postmaster General Burleson says
1t is his aim to be a %henefactor to
his fellowme,. If he means DEM
ocrats. why doesn't he double the
number of postofices?
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13
lBy John W. Carey.l

(by JOhn w. Carey.)
Who five and twenty years ago
(excuse the barking back!) was
known from York, to Frisco as the
pitching cracker jack? Who
shown when Roger Conner knock
ed the hide from off the ball and
Michael Tierney picked the flies
from Gotham's garden wall? Who
queered the sluggers one by one
who ambled to the plate-the
Christy Mathewson. Esq, of. 1888?
Who's said to be the gent who
struck the mighty Casey out and
cast the burg of Midwife in a pail
OF gloom and doubt?. Who's bunk.
ing now at Cambridge (Mass.)
and earns his bread and beef by
selling corner lots and such? We
pitch today Tim Keefe.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Judging by their Discrimination to
leave Mexico. a good many Americans
want to offlcia.e as. innocent bystand.
ers when the explosion comes.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

The state censors have barred har-
rowing crimes from moving picture
shows in Ohio. perhaps on the theory
that the newspa pers enough.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

A woman IS suing a dentist because.
since he operated on her, she has not
been able to close her mouth. But
what II she were unable to open it:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Probably the surest and quickest
way to make the New Haven rail-
road safe is to tear up the tracks and
sell the rolling stock.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Doesn't the state Of New York see
its opportunitN-a commission form
of government, with sulzer, Glynn and
Murphy as the commission.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

The more .Americang Senior Huerfa
sends home, charges prepaid, the freer
will he be to keep the presidency as
long as he likes.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Some day an ORIGINAL author will
write a newspaper story in which the
cub isn't the best reporter on the pa
per. Is =
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Personally we prefer q greenhorn
to a youngster who Is too dadburned
smart; in fact. We prefer most any
type to the latter.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Mamma-''That's strange. It has
been in the icebox. all morning."
Little Lola-"Perhaps the milkman
made a mistake ana gave his cow
pickles for breakfast"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Small Willie was entertaining hie
big sisters beau in the parlor.
mfr. Green" he asked, "how many
pennies have you got?"
II haven't any at present, Willie,
L msorry to say" he replied.
"Then mamma was right" con.
tinued the little fellow. She told
sister last night that you didn't have
any more sense than 4 rabbit"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Silly sympathy seems easier tina,
the other forms Of foolishness.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

.
Little Lola-"Mamrna,, this milk i.
s@,,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Foreign RepresentativesacaIpen{e Yes
scheerer Special Agency. reop.eTn uiids
Building, Chicago: Fifth Avenue eu'iu-
ing. New York.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

:; Entered at second class matter At TN
post ONCE at Grand Forks. Nof'" NC"
kota.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

One year in advance.............At77 *
Six months in acknowledgements. sS
Three months in acknowledgements S0
Foreign postage per year...'''' wv
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Theatrical Manager Ito applicant
for a job-So you think you would
make a good advance agent, eh %
Well. we play Hamlet" at Willy
winkus, y. j.. one night next week.
suppose ] should send you ahead Of
the show I o work in its interests
there. What would you do first?
Applicant-Buy up all the eggs.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Their was a new parlor maid in
the house and Mrs. .Bleecher was In
some doubt as to her intelligence. So
she asked at dusk:
Bridget. have you turned on the
gas IN the parlor. as I told you?".
Yes, mum; iNiry tube Cant.yez
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

Little Johnnie had been reading the
Pa" he said. as he laid the paper
aside. where is Dresden? ?"
Dresden? Why, Dresden is in
Germany. my son." said Mr.. Knowit-
"oh. nothin'," said Johnnie, "on,y
this paper must be edited by an IT,
goramious. He speaks Of Dresden,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

An old 'befo de wah'' darky was
called upon to make a few remarks
over the grave Of a friend. He re-
moved his hat. stepped reverently
and sadly toward the open grave
grave and in solemn. funeral tones
hope you is gone whar we 'spects
YOU ANTI"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-13

After . woman has been trottinr IN
double harness for q few ear il
makes her sore every time. she sees a
newly married couple making love.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18

Thursday that the crop. while a light
one, was bringing the highest prices
ever known,
Peaches are selling at from $3.50
to $3.50 T. o. b." said Mr.. Marks
More than 1000 cars have already
beer shipped. most of them going to
New York, being divided between New
York, Philadelphia and Boston. 'Geor-
gta Bellies and 'Elbertas' form the
bulk Of the shipments.
"A sharp frost caused a short yield,
but the high prices which the
peaches are bringing more than make
up for this"
The "peachy" girls are here in
abundance. however and even the hot
weather is not driving all the Atlanta
beauties to the cooler summer re
sorts Miss Danese Milhous one Of
the prettiest OF the younger Atlanta
girls, was snapped Just as she was
beginning to eat one of the first Of the
North Georgia grown peaches TO ar
rive in the city.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18

and honestly knocking at the doors
Of the union of counties.
I can not understand how mem
bers can get up here and say they
had intended voting for this measure,
and would do so, but for the fact that
a parliamentary blunder has been
made in this House. 1t impresses me
as rather mean and below the belt
thus TO hit the unoffending Gambler
County citizens, many of them good
farmers, who are here asking a per
fectly legitimate thing.
IF a man be sincerely against this
measure, all right-he should so vote.
But to make a mere mistake in par
liamentary procedure an excuse for
striking down an admitted meritori-
Gus proposition-that is all wrong.
believe this proposition is good,
therefore. l shall vote ayei"
Mr. Moss is not inclined to the Gre
alton Of new counties particularly, but
the proposed county of Gambler he
had picked az one of the two deserv-
ing to win-and he voted accordingly
His little speech in explaining his
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
81 JAMES B. NEVIN

You never can tell.
The grand young county of Gambler
on Thursday morning looked to be as
good a bet as one might stake his
coin upon-and to-day, like Caesar
dead, there are none so poor as to do
it reverence!
Perhaps that isn't quite fair to
Gambler. for there is a good chance
that it may be reconsidered, and 60
over to next year, when, in forget
fulness OF the bitterness Of Thurs
days fight on the floor Of the House,
Gambler yet may come into its own.
Unquestionably, a serious tactical
error was made when the friends Of
Gambler. even without intending any
thing arbitrary perhaps, moved the
previous question, and thereby closed
debate save from their own point Of
view.
It requires a two thirds vote Of the
House to pass Constitutional
amendment, whereas it only requires
majority to order the previous
question. The previous question,
having been ordered by that MAORI
ty however, il Immediately gave the
minority opposition the right to
raise the cry of Gag rule" which
cry said minority promptly proceeded
to Extraordinarily and with dead
ly effect upon Gambler!
The majority, seeing it's blunder,
undertook to right things-but too
late.
Burwen, as fair and impartial
presiding officer as ever held the
gavel, plainly was anxious TO relieve
the House of its embarrassment if he
could, but under the rules, he could
not. The House had tied his hands.
Several VirtuOus gentlemen, who had
not even called for a division on the
vote for the previous question, were
very much outraged that the previ-
GUS question had been ordered,
nevertheless-and their expressions
upon the floor with respect to that
feeling of outrage evidently i'm
pressed the House profoundly, as the
House proceeded to sustain said out
ragged point of view.
Altogether, the fight on Gambler
was as pretty a piece of claptrap as
ever was slipped over-but It was
slipped. all right, and that is what
hurt Gamblers feelings!
Moral: Never be too sure your
enemy can not throw straight, even
if he is ft-handed!
Undoubtedly there is genuine merit
in the Gambler County proposal, and
there hardly is a doubt that even
tually a new county win be created
there.
And the Candlerites may get some
consolation from that, after all!
The many friends-as they would
say in the Springplace Jimplecute,
no doubt-of the well-known Geor-
gian mentioned, will read the follow
ing photographic gem from The Thorn
asville Times Enterprise with min
gled feelings of melancholy and joy:
Jim sNevin is more truthful
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
WAR CHIEF SAYS
NJ PHERSONI IS
VITAL POST
Atlanta Army Men EIated Over the
Favorable Impression Fort
Made on Garrison.

Local army officers are jubuant
over the praise bestowed upon Fort
Mcpherson by Secretary Of War
Iindley NJ Garrison Thursday. when.
with Major General Leonard Wool
and Major General J. B. Aleshlre. he
made an inspection OF the post It
IL regarded as practically certain that
Secretary Garrison viii repeat the
recommendation Of a year ago that
the local post be made a brigade head
quarters, which would mean several
additional regiments Of soldiers would
be chartered at Fort Mcpherson.
Everything at Fort Mcpherson Is
admirably conducted" declared the
Secretary. such a post is a credit 10
our country. The strategic position
Of the Atlanta post IS valuable"
Both Secretary Garrison and Cen
ersl Wood said they could not state
definitely whether the local post
would be made a brigade post. but In
timated such step is likely
Nothing definite viii be given out
until after Secretary Garrison has
completed his tour Of the ~ posts Of
the country. said General Wood.
However, we have always regarded
the Atlanta territory a important be
cause Of its strategic position"
Secretary Garrison's party includ-
ing General r. X. Evans Colonsl
Berth, Lieutenant Tucker. Colonel
VanOrsdale and others, were enter
tained at the home OF Clark Howell
and the Piedmont Driving Club
Thursday afternoon. Secretary Gar
rison left Atlanta at $40 o'clock, and
to-day is inspecting Fort Ogiethorpe
near Chattanooga.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
vote made a distinctly favorable i'm
preston on the House.
Easy to Get Rid Of COrnS

When YOU know HOW. But you can't
do it by peeling, pairing, gouging or
picking at them. These barbarous
ously dangerous, for frequently the corn
bIeeds and then there is always the
possibility Of blood poisoning. Further
more, these methods do not remove the
corn completely, for the root usually
goes deep into the toe to the bone
Jacobs Magic Corn Liquid is a scien-
tific formula from our own laboratory,
which we have thoroughly tested and
guarantee to be successful with any
corn, whether hard or soft, and no mat
ter how stubborn or how deep the
growth. It removes the corn completely
and positively without pain or danger.
The first applica ton instantly stops the
corn from hurting you Use it tonight
and end your agony zoe, by mail PC.
I-(Advt)
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18

a wonderful motion picture will be
shown al the Grand an Of next week
To is the supreme masterpiece Of modern
uhoto-plays. and is nothing less than
Victor Hugo's Les Miserables" There
are more than l200o feet OF film in the
nine reels that represent the nine books
n the wonderful story written more
than a half century ago by the famous
French author
The greatest actors in France volun-
rgered their services in making the pic
tare and every place that Is described in
the book has been visited and used by
.ha actors for their stage In producing
lhe great work
This week the Grand is attracting
large attendance with daily change OF
program Of high class hrstrun motion
pictures
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
Garrison Inspects
Fort Oglethorpe.

CHATTANOOGA, July 1S.-Secre-
tary Of War Garrison, accompanied
by Major General Aleshire. quarter
master general inspected the quar-
tiers Of the Eleventh Cavalry at Fort
Oglethorpe this morning and visited
the site OF the proposede brigade post
at ChiUleamauga Park.
Secretary Garrison and his party
arrived from Atlanta last night and
viii leave tonight FOR Little Rock.
An open-air dinner will be rendered
the distinguished guests tonight az
Signal Mountain Inn, on Waldens
Ridge by the Chamber OF Commerce
A breakfast was rendered early this
morning at the Commercial Club.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
Senators Swimming
Match in Demand

WASHINGTON, July 1s.-when SEN
ator Pomerene challenged Senator owen
to swimming match and the latter &C
copied they did not realize that SO
many persons were interested in Con
gressional aquatic sports. EnterprisinE
persons have sought 90 induce the Sem
atorial swimmers 10 make Il a national
event.
One offer came from the manager Of
q resort near New York, who assured
Senator Owen he would have a crowd
Of spectators larger than could be gath
cred anywhere else in the world i"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
Mailing Letter, He
Pulled Fire Alarm

CHICAGO, July 1S.-Leon Wells, Of
Berlin, Mich, attempted to mail a
letter to his mother in his home town
The result was the hasty arrival of
two battauons of fire lighting APP
paratus and a large crowd at the
busiest corner in Chicago. that of the
Masonic Temple Traffic was tied up
for several minutes before four fire
department officials. 100 fremen. ten
pieces Of apparatus a patrol wagon
containing ten policemen and an am
bulance with three doctors, returned
TO their stations.
Il thought it was a mail box" ex-
planned Leon. Il never saw fire
alarm ike that. In our town we have
a bell i'm the Steeple"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18

drawing splendid audiences to the pop
ular theater. Every principal in the
cast Is clever In HIS or her line OF
work and some excellent specialties are
introduced. not TO mention dozen mu-
steal numbers in which the big chorus
takes part.
For next week the management an
nounCes another Curk.ng musical come
dy. entitled Good Morning. Judge, a
musical cocktail with Pearl Brothers and
Burns and twenty others.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
Lunatic'S Request
To Alfonso Upheld
Special Cable TO The Atlsusa Georgian.

Special Cable 60 The Atlanta Georgian.
PARIS. July 1.-THE civil court ut
ST. Gaudens upheld to-day the valid
ity of the will Of Albert sspsne, for
merry Mayor Of small town near
Toulon, who bequeathed $500, 900 to
King Alfonso OF Spain.
Sapene, who was an ardent royalist
and a great admirer Of tho Spanish
King, died In an asylum. His sister
sought to have the Will set aside on
the ground that Sapene was insane
when he made IL
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
.GEORGIAS PEACH CROP SHORT, Butt
.'PEACHERINOS' STILL ARE PLENTIFUL
Crop Now Moving Via Railroads
and Up and Down PeaChtree)
Sets Quality Record.

The movement OF what f. reported
Is the best crop Of peaches ever
grown in Georgia is now in full swing
up and down Peachtree street and
via railroad TO the East
II. 3. Marks. secretary manager Of
the Georgia Fruit Exchange. who
claims TO know all about peaches
that Is. the edible kind declared
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18

and lots more interesting writ
ing about Governor Browns gold
pen than he was penning that
cOnglomerate mess about the
Townsville COW.
Now, what do you know about
that
The Legislature is looking forward
to its forthcoming visit to Augusta
with genuine delight
A great time is being framed up
for the SOlOns, and there will be
"doings" from the time the train ar
rives in Augusta Saturday about
noon, until it leaves that night.
Many members are anticipating
particularly a visit to Carmichaers
famous fishing club with rare pleas
ure.
This place has been made famous
by dozens of distinguished visitors,
among them being President Taft
Andrew Carnegie, John d. Rookie
Teller and others.
The House roll call rarely develops
anybody absent, although it fire.
quently is insisted upon.
Thursday an attempt was made to
dispense with the roll call, but it was
objected to- Nobody was absent,
hOwever-which shows what a fine
system of looking after the mem
bership Is in vogue about the clerks
desk.
1t remained for Mr.. Moss, Of Cobb,
rather to hit the nail squarely on the
head in explaining his Gambler Codn-
ty vote Thursday when he said:
Il do not indorse this call for the
previous question and the shutting off
Of debate, but I shall not, merely
because Of that, refuse to do that
which under my oath l agreed to do
that is, vote for that which I think
best for the State.
Because a tactical blunder may
have been made by the floor leaders
IN charge of this measure, l shall not,
therefore, visit my wrath upon the
good people Of the South Georgia ter
ritory asking to be made into this
new county, who come here sincerely
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-18
Broken Neck Mended;
Ice Cream Kills Him

MARINETTE. WIS, July 1S-After
surprising the medical world by re-
covering. after his neck was broken
I'm "a runaway accident several weeks
ago, Hiram Reeves head of a rural
telephone company at Oconto. is dying
of ptomaine poisoning from eating ice
cream.
Norwich bulletin., 1913-01-15
WINTER BASEBALL.
Many Major League Stars Enjoying
 Practice in California.

From being reasonable occu- patton" the economists classify it, baseball is becoming an all-year-round profession. More and more with each winter the big league stars and promising minor league recruits are foclxing to California to play in the Winter league. This season the coast has the following big league stars and satellites.
 San Diego-Chief Meyers, Harnil- ton, Hap Meyers. P. Daily. Germany Schultz.
 Tufts-Lyon (Los Angeles)-Jos Ser ger, Leverenz, Olson, Rube Ellis Carl Flick.
 Oxnard-Art Schafer, Fred Snod- grass, Charles Hall.
 hamrocks-Ki1lffer Bert Whalen, Billy Goodwin Elmer Reiger.
 San Bernardino-Altizer
 As the season which has just open ed, progresses more stars are ex- pected to jein the ranks of the win ter league tearns
 Of all leagues perhaps the Califor- unique. Here major league stars the city leagues and recruits from the amateur ranks. To the cause observer, unless he is an expert the stars aren't always easy to detect thus proving what marrow margin of difference fn playing ability there is between 8 s1e,G60 a year man and the common fuek of sandlottefs. Chief Meyers isn't a phenomenal hit ter in the winter league, indeed, there are several lads who seem to have the edge on the Indian,
Norwich bulletin., 1913-01-15
FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL
ANOTHER REARIsh DAY.
Stock Quotations Were Lowered In
 Every Department.

New York, Jan. 1.-The bear cam pafgn was continued today in the stock market, which was1 unsettled by 8 series of sharp drives. Quotations were lowered in all departm ents, and at intervals the list was forced downward abruptly, with feverish fluctuations. Support was given from time to time, however, and the market was not per- m1tted to become >demora1ized. There was considerable liquidation of specu- 1ative holdings, and the extended activ- ities of the bear faction were indicat- ed by the largely increased demand for stocks in the loan crowd
 Politics has come to the forefront once more as a p09snt influence in the stock market For the last few weeks the street has been inclined to give less heed to political considerations, all though they were recognized as a re- straining influence. The attention giy- en to the last two speeches of Presi- dent-elect Wilson and the interpreta- ton placed upon them indications of the probable character of the in coming administration have been of direct bearing upon operations in stocks this week and have been util- ized effectively by traders the short side of the market. Weakness of the foreign markets and the possi- blity of resumption of hostilities in the Balkans also tended to depresS the home market. still another bearish influence was in the unsettlenent of the copper metal market, concerning the future of which considerable un- certainty is felt. There was another sharp decline in the metal market in London.
 The copper stocks were again active and weak, but losses in this grouO were 10 more pronounced than in Steel Reading, Union Pacific and other stan dard' shares, among which recessions ran to more than three points Steel receded to 61 5-S. the lowest since the fore part of last year Among the less prominent shares there were heavier declines. American Tobacco broke 12 points, and several others from f to 0.
 Bonds showed moderate heaviness. especially in convertible issues Total sales, par value, g, 301 GOO.
 on call.