The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-05
Hundreds of Patents Are on
File i'm Washington.
MOST OF THEM ARE FREAKS
Applications Generally COuched
in Scientific Language.
Some of Them Provide for the
Use of Birds.

Wrights the BleriotS and other IN
ventive giants of the air craft have
been busying themselves in perfecting
their various types of practical flying
machines, the imaginative genius ot
| the Icarus school has not been Idle.
i This fact is evidenced by the great
II number of applications for freak
/ patents that have been of recent years
| filed in the patent office at Washing
I ton.
i The large majority of these have been
| rejected as being too freaklly freaKy
| to come within any possible range Oh
| practicability-'th nightmare dreams
| of deliriOuS Missionaries as an ofncldi
| of the patent office defined them. But |
| many patents have been granted upon |
| flying machines that come well within
| the definition of-well, say oddities. |
/ Were it not that each of the patents |
upon these unique inventions cost the |
| inventor about $780, one would INFER
from examination, that sundry wa5s
| have been trying to play Jokes upon
| the patent office. The widest flights
| of whimsical imagination cannot sur
| pass some of the bewildering combI-
| nations of these inventors, and coulo
the claims they formally make, be re-
| allied the magic carpet OF Prince
Ahmed and the fabulous roc of ORR
entail legend would go out OF the oJ-
ing business and hide.
What adds to the grotesque hunior
of these patents is the strictly scientlhc
language in which their claims are
couched They read like a report OF
the International Aeronautic soc1etJ.
Also the close attention paid to ines
sential detail is amusing-ra1hngs OIL
a certain specified height around the
promenade deck of the airship to pre-
vent passengers from falling overheard
and mussing up the scenery; muffs TO
keen hands and ears warm WhllS
cruising in the zero ATTITUDES of the
upper air: beds comfortably arranged
with springs, so that the jar on allgnt-
ing at waystations will not disturb the
light sleeper; telescopes arranged OH
swivels, so plentifully set about the up
per deck that the traveller may discern
what continent he is flying oVer-the.se
and countless other comfortable details
are set forth with scrupulous exactneSs,
doubtless to convince intending travel
ers how carefully their physical comfort
will be looked after while touring IN !
cloudland.
Any Kind of Power.
And what adds still further to this
humor is the fact that most of these
inventors dismiss the essential of all AIR
craft-a light, powerful and rehabi"
engine-with some such remark as
ANY convenient form of motive power
may be used to propel the machine!
In most of the drawings accompany
ing the patents the aviator is SHOWN
sitting with hands placidly folded to
show that it's just e-e-easy! Where
the patents specify the method of pro- /
pUlsion all manner of powers nave [
been pressed into service from ducks (
to dynamite. Wings, liquid air ana
even torpedoes and rifle cartridges are /
brought into requisition.
No single locality can boast itself as
growing more or these inventions than
its neighbor. They stretch across the i
globe from Colorado to Budapest in /
far off Hungary. Washington has (
one, New York several Brooklyn
many and recently a man from Baltl-
patent office, tiptoed into the private
office of the examiner in chief of the II
door tightly, informed that astonished L
official that his secret of flight was too
valuable to be intrusted to paper, and
hence he had come over to whisper &
mans ear-after the latter had duly B
signed a pledge of secrecy The eH-
aminer pushed button for the Il
I$
All the Comforts of Home. IS
A western inventor recently obtain Il
ed a patent on an airShip, containing IL
all the comforts of home. In the Of e
fetal drawings it resembles some sort
of a bug, with row of eyes along the 8.
side and ruffles down it's back. Close
inspection resolves the ruffles into a
rallied deck and the eyes into state Ii
room windows. In each of these the ri
lace curtains are shown carefully b
Topped back. so not to obstruct the p
view of the flying scenery r
A staircase leads down from the II
deck that ladies may alight without
exposure of lingerie. Everything the r,
sybarite can carve is shown aboard -
that craft-except the motive machin-
cry which is probably down in the
basement with the furnace and the
laundry tubs.
Bergan man has patented what
looks like a large metallic box. turned T.
upside down. There is no bottom to
he box. In the side walls are large
rotary fans, which suck the air into -
he box and drive it forcibly down .-t
ward. The reaction against the ground CO
rom this draft WILL the Bergen man a
claims. drive the box upward causing
t to fly. An expert at patent office i.
figured out that n blast strong enough 4
o lift airship. driving machinery y
IN daviator, would blow hole in the
ground big enough to hide an ele-
1hant. What will happen to the I'M
ortunate aeronaut who is shown sit
ing below. right in the teeth of this
ornado, is not set forth in the patent
a New York man solves the problem
# aerial flight thus: He has a large
,as bag that lifts him above mundane
hingS. From the car. suspended below
he bag, there extends rearwardly ,
ong. hollow outrigger or arm, at the -
ar or business end of which is attach ~
d a metallic cup, much like the cups
f an exaggerated thermometer From
lis seat in the car the aernaunt feeds
nto the hollow tubs of the outrigger So
explosive bombs" of dynamite. gun c. e.
otton or giant powder, which are cleo VI
really exploded when they reach the pl:
follow of the cup. The recoil from this fro
explosion drives the whole thing for ca
yard with a force commensurate with InC
he size of the bomb,'' says the patent. ID
my one who has had doings with the "a,
ear gear of a mule will readily ap-
reciate this novel form of engine. ne
A Tennessee Genius. tet