The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
MODERN FAIRY TALES
The Fairies Always Bring Things Out Right

I and abandon. Her cries rent the air, but
he whistled Yankee Doodle" and turned
and walked away.
| 1t was a shocking thing to do.
| Even the crows cried out against t.
The dogs did not quite finish the old
| woman. There was small piece OF her
left, and it crawled to her igloo and
| moaned and wept and cried out:
Must 1 perish here! Is there no hu-
manity left in the world"
There is, grandma-dead loads of it!'
| exclaimed a cheerful voice; and the
frozen and dog-bitten woman raised her
head to behold a fairy standing in the
door, 1t was Pinky Pink, whose spe-
cialty is hunting out aged females and
working surprise parties on them.
| Just behind Miss Pink was a waiter
from a first-class restaurant. and on a
server he had a meal consisting Of frog
| legs, oysters fried, porterhouse steak,
hash-brown potatoes, Maryland chicken,
and various other things warranted not
to produce collie.
what is itT' family asked the victim
/ of mans inhumanlty.
You are to fill up, grandma, and then
ccme with me-"
Am 1 not to perish here?"
Perish nothing! Go ahead and shovel
| in the fodder"
| And the old woman went ahead, and
she was licking the empty dishes when
/ pried loose. Between mouthfuls that
would have choked a horse she told her
sad story and exposed the hypocrisy and
cruelty Of Mr.. Fitzhue Carlton. Even
though she exposed him she sought to
excuse him, saying that his. tailor had
probably sent him in a third bill that
morning.
He is a cruel wretch and shall be
| punished" hotly exclaimed the fairy
when she had heard all: and from that
moment she was camped on his trail.
The effect of the meal, with small
bottle after IT. was to make the diner
sleepy, and she gave way to it. Two
hours later she awoke to find that she
was no longer grandma-no longer a
freezing, starving, old woman. On the
contrary, about forty years worth Of
grey hair and wrinkles had been peeled
| off, and her figure was that Of a sylph.
No one ever saw A sylph, but we all
| know what a boss figure one has. She
had on a skin-tight skirt, and as she
| walked, or tried to walk, she had
gait between that of a camel and a tur-
key trot. Her blond hair was done up
| in the latest style, she had on satin slip
pers, and she had n beautiful pucker to
her mouth.
Where am II" she asked after looking
around.
IN my pdldCey Tepileu MISS TlIlh.
who am I?''
''viola Devere. the leader Of the cho-
rus"
But who was I?'
"OId Grandma Swetwater."
And you have done all this for me?"
Yes. my dear. but want no thanks
It's a mere incident"
And have been on the stage
You have"
Did l make a hit?"
Your legs did-the biggest kind. There
were seven brokers at the stage door at
one and the same time I've given you a
start, and now it's up to you to make
good. If anything less than a 5000 auto
is offered You turn it down.
And it may be said right here that the
Devere was the rage for years, and that
being prudent with her savings she now
owns block of fourteen tenements and
can square up with her hired girl every
Saturday night. Each Christmas she
sends Miss Pink a box of stationery
bought at the 10-cent store to prove that
she can never never forget her.
And about Fitzhue Carlton. The fairy
didn't have so much business on her
hands that she couldn't attend to his
case. She began by ta'.ing the creases
out of his trousers aud humiliating his
pride.
Then she worked 1t to have him md
that he was a year behind the fashion in
neckties and collars.
Then she had him bounced out of his
clubs.
Then she had him fall in love with De-
we're and receive the cold throw-down.
Then she got up a bunko game and
wrung him in and took his last dollar.
Mr.. Carlton also lost his seven autos.
Also the four girls to whom he was
almost engaged.
Then, having nothing in particular to
live for, he returned to the forest wherein
he had first met the old woman. It was
remorse that took him there. It was re-
morse than suggested that he take an old
clothesline along.
To limb of a tree hanging right over
the hut when grandma had starved and
frozen he attached that rope.
Then to the rope he attached his neck
After many days they found him swing
ing there.
And the gale 1t moaned. And the snow
it blew. And an owl sat on a dead limb
and futtered its tail and cried:
"To-whit-to-who-o-o