davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13
SPEAKER CLARK.

number of things for tho people, but
III be blamed ii will do that"
Victim of Hypnotic Pressure.
This letter is hardly less astonishing
than one received not long aftcrward
At the Office of Senator Swanson, of
Virginia.
The missive was a protest against
the certain alleged prosecutions of the
writer by a certain clique referred 10
as the "feudists' The beginning Of
the letter was not illogical II request
cd that the writer he given national
permit 10 go armed. a he feared for
his life. Things were really sounding
sensible when tho writer bounded off
his equilibrium with this astonishing
declaration:
"a hypnotic pressure is being put
over all people in this country SO that
they Won't .estify against those who
are prosecuting me. Many people are
afraid 10 appear against these feudists.
as they are sorcerers and Will use tho
same charms against them that they
have against me"
The note concluded with the naive
declarations
Il have talked with n number OF poo
pie, but they all tell me l am crazy"
From citizen OF his State, Postmas-
tcr-Gcneral Burlcson some time ago
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13
CHRISTlANSBURG

Especial TO The Times Dispatch.1
ChristiansburB, Va. July l.-Miss Mary
Miller is the guest of Mrs r. Shields Lack
aye. OF Iron Gate.
y very enjoyable hay ride was given on
Tuesday evening to the young people. Among
the guests were Misses Margaret and Gray
liagan. Elizabeth iIawley. Anna Hairless,
Mcliata Miller. Willie Flanagan. Gray
HaEan. Margaret HaEan Margaret Elicit.
Fannie James Hall. Margaret Junkin and
katherine Spindle. Charles Best. Frank
Flanagan, William Pierce Fred Haley.
Paul Foster and John Miller
Mrs Joseph Haven Hose the guest
OF honor at n beautiful reception al Clare
mont. the pretty home OF Mr.. and Mrs.
:. : lIoge OF iIoGcs Store
Frank Junkin. Frank. Jr.. and Miss
Dorothy Junkin, OF West Virginia. guests
Of Miss Matte Montague
Misses Mary and Sadie Elicit are guests OF
relatives IN Giles County.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank G. Dunkle Misses
Salon. y. G. visiting Mrs. William
Dunkle
Mrs p. II Reynolds and Miss Elizabeth
Stnar; spending some time in Roanoke.
attending the teachers training class which
Is held under the direction OF ST. Johns
Episcopal Church
Miss Eula Waters Is visiting her brother,
Williams Walters. OF Nirrows
Miss ollie Surface Is spending some time
with Miss Florence Rutrough. OF Salem.
DIR. Henry Tucker Graham. president OF
Hampden Sidney College. preached ut the
Presbyterian Church on sunday morning
during his stay. Dr. Graham was the guest
OF Mrs Anna Baird.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13

an ardent suit for marriage: but was
wrong. Opening the envelope, I read
letter from a loves!ck young man to
the original of the portrait pasted upon
the envelope.
Il am mailing your picture and Your
description" said the note. ITO the city
OF Washington, ID. c. hope YOU viii
get 1t. and write to me at once. for
am young bachelor and my father
owns farm in Minnesota with a ditch
running through II. and l am sure that
we viii be happy here | am nvc feet
eight inches and much more to
that effect.
This note tucked away in the pink
envelope described had been incloscd
in q letter to MIR. Nelson, which read:
Dear Scnator.-This young woman
lives In your ciiy. Please look ncr ZIP
for me, as l want to marry her
put her photograph outside the en-
Neiope. but the post Office authorities
returned 1T to me. II YOU will look
her up and tcll her to write me will
be much obliged to you ana will re-
member your kind favor"
He wants me to open n matrimonial
agency for his special pcncnt." said the
Senator, savagely. Now, I'll do any
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13
WILLIAMSBURG
Especial to The Times.plspatch. !

lSpeCidl 10 Inc Times Dispatch.
Williamsburg. Va. July ~ Before re-
turning to his ship. the Hartford. OF which
he is executive officer. Lieutenant william
Harris Booth entertained u number OF his
friends on automobile trip TO Old Point
Those In the party were DIR. and Mrs. f.
Jones and Ensign Leslie Hail. United States
Navy
Miss Elsie Larson, of Richmond. is the
Miss Ella pitman is at Buci<roe Beach.
where she VIII spend several weeks at tho
Sayrc cottage.
Miss Lettie warburton has returned from
a visit OF several days TO friends at Tonno.
Mrs Waiter Van Ness and daughter. OF
with the formers parents. Captain and Mrs.
c II Trewl!an
Misses Nab stubbs and Sue Hundley loft
the first OF the week for Newport News.
where they are the guests OF friends
c i;,Sn,sns ant William Hunter. o: White
and Miss Warburton, the nrst OF this week.
Mrs X n McGuninty, of staunton. who
has been visiting her daughter. Mrs B.
+. Wolfe. 10 now the guest OF friends in
Norfolk
Mrs J. l. Hall and daughter. Miss Emily.
have gone to Dublin. where DR.. Hall is
teaching in the William and Mary summer
school.
MIR and Mrs Bcrklcy Ellis. OF Richmond
who have just returned from a Northern
bridal tour. spent several days in Williams
burg this week They will return to Rich
mond Monday.
Mr. and Mrs Henry f. cha,rSs. of East
Orange. y j.. after spending few weeks
with the formers parents. Mr.. and Mrs. j. s..
Charles. are now visiting relatives in Hamp-
ton
The Rev. e. RutTin Jones. rector OF Bruton
Parish Church. left Monday for Columbia
University, where he will take a special
course OF several weeks Mrs. Jones and
children are in Charlottesville. where they
Will remain with her mother for the sum-
mer.
Ensign Leslie HALL after spending his
vacation here with his parents DR.. and Mrs.
J. l.. Hail. left Monday for Newport r. l..
where he has been assigned to tho Dread
nausht North Dakota.
Mrs r ]. Stubs and daughter, Miss
Lucy. at Buckroe Beach for a couple OF
weeks.
Mrs Elizabeth Harrison. who has been
the guest OF friends In Richmond. 10 now
with relatives in Lenoir. y. c. for the ro-
rairdcr OF tho summer.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13

the writer, in burst OF enthusiasm.
should insist upon forwarding part of
tho pack without awaiting n reply.
Another man wrote to the Speaker
asking ii he didn't want fine Mis-
souri, mule. that can pull anything
on earth"
The Speaker. who lives in an apart
ment house. replied that he did not
A Heat Victims Memorial.
The most voluminous letter OF a
freakish nature received in Washing
ton for many moons arrived late this
session and was addressed IS the En-
tire House OF Representatives."
This brochure. covering sixty eight
closely typewriter pages, rccounts the
writer's difficulties In keeping cool He
quotes extensively from the Consti-
tuition and the Bible to prove that n
band of wicked enemies are engaged
In a conspiracy to set him on fire.
Il have tried all means" he COM
plains, TO convince the government
that 1t should give me an official guard.
so that ] may be properly protected.
But In spite Of evidence which ! have
shown to be beyond dispute. they have
constantly declined to have anything to
do with me. l appeal to the great
House OF Representatives TO keep these
persons from burning me up"
This document, the strangcst memo
rial which was ever presented to the
all due formality and now rcposes
somewhere in the musty archives OF the
Capitol"
Cows Eye Causes Threat.
Secretary Garrison. as head OF the
War Department, Is the recipient OF
many freak letters.
Men not infrequently write to me-"
said he, asking that ] give up tho
plan of military defense which this ma
ton now Is following. Others have
patent explosives. still others have
new fashioned guns.
some time ago gun at an army
proving ground vas aimed a little too
high and a solid Shot. nying over the
range. hit puddle and let loose some
mud which put out n cows eye
"'Iou pay mo FOR my cows eye or
I'll put out somebody else's banned
soon the outraged owner of the COW
wrote the Department.
= IIinck Hand scare.
Having worked IN the newspaper
game said Secretary OF tho Navy
Daniels, crank letters do not excite
or even interest me. In the news
paper game we meet queer characters
every day OF the week and every
week OF the month. We couldn't get
along without them
But the other day | received n let
ter that turned me upside down. |
had stepped out for n moment. and
when returned Lieutenant Com
mander Palmer. my aid, asked me:
Have you ever had any dealings
with the Elack Tard?"
Great heavens. no. replied.
Then he handed me note. which
read:
"rlacc $4,000 under the ola stump
or YOU are a dead man,
1T was written in a long. scrawl-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13

suggested Bowers. And it was so or
dered.
A Baseball bug.
There Is man IN Illinois who re-
Gently went TO a baseball game. About
the same time II was chronicled In tho
public press that Senator Overman. OF
North Carolina is the premier baseball
fan OF the upper chamber.
SO. after the Illinois man had seen
the game he sat himself down and in
dited this comfortable little epistle TO
the Senator
Dear Sir
Don, count the bases Causes in
sanity. Why do they want 10 be luna
tics? Show the evidence at Washing
ton. Don't know what they are doing
Please answer.
Below this was score which read:
New York o o o o
washington ..O 0 o 0 o
'shut-out Bases. los"
This note was sandwiched between n
set OF resolutions adopted by a cham
Der Of commerce and "A tariff memorial
petition from some manufacturers
I'll bet" Senator Overman COM
rnented. that the heavy hitter Of that
mans home team struck out with
three men on bases in the ninth In
ming and two runs needed TO tie the
score
Power from Earth's Centre.
y IA
tention from the crank letter writer
than Secretary Of the Interior Lane
1t would seem that the man with the
great idea of the century always man
ages TO get note into the mail pile or
the Interior Departments head.
II viii get used to il In time. said
Secretary Lane. smilingly, although II
will take some training To reach IN
point where l can read one OF these
dazzling missives without growing
giddy For example, here is one man
who writes
81 can draw the power from the
centre of the earth. and this can be
used in good effect by persons needing
energy. This is Of value. but l have
not yet got patent Kindly mail me
patent. so that / may accomplish the
achievement OF drawing the earth
power from the centre This is neccs-
sary and vital 10 me welfare OF hu
mainly, and can show that it is a
fact"
Nelson as Matrimonial Agent.
When visited Senator knute Nelson
found him pacing the floor and yank
chin beard. He seemed to I've deeply
impressed by something he held in his
hand.
What has occurred ?" asked.
Look at this" he urged. pressing
an envelope into my hand.
1t was an ordinary envelope. but In
lieu OF an address, this clipping from
publication called Cupid's Column.
was pasted on the front:
"27S3 Washington. d. c.: am
young widow, twenty five years of age;
no children; SO. 1870 pounds, blonde
hair. gray eyes. very good form. good
disposition. French. Methodist: have n
small income; like both city and coun-
try life. Would like TO correspond
with some young man matrimonially
inclined. See my photo"
To the right OF this touching m'ssive
was a picture. also clipped from
newspaper OF n remarkably pretty girl
wearing n low collar and an elaborate
picture hat.
Instantly / suspected that the vener
able Minnesota Scion was the object of
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13

received a frantic appeal for crop
OF buttons, in describing which ne for
got to close up his initial 20" In the
word onion This open faced 90" gavo
tn" appearance OF n request for union"
buttons, and the PostInaster-Gcn
went ahead on the theory that this was
what was wanted He directed hts sec
rotary TO 70 forth and find out what
union buttons were and buy couple
of dozen for the constituent. The near
est thing the secretary could find were
some suspcndcr buttons that fastened
10 the trousers without the use of
thread and needle.
These We're sent to the correspondent
and for awhile silence issued from his
section OF Texas. But in time the irate
gentleman wrote back these lines:
Any man that cant read the english
iangwigc amt got no bushes in the
Cabinet
when ! wrote you for onion buttons
meant onion buttons because
thought that every darn fool knew you
couldn't grow pants. Good-by."
1t took an almighty supply of onion
sprouts and n big bunch OF explanations
to quell this gentleman's Indignation.
Quit FiddlinE Around.
Il think" said Senator Thomas, of
Colorado, that ono OF the most in
teresting missives have received was
from man in the Southwest. who ap-
parcntly had been persuaded to buy n
parcel of land whose purchase he had
since regretted.
protesting To me, he said:
My dear sir:
e" i see you are fixing up this water
power business for the country. Now,
why in thunder can't l have a little OF
that water power on my place? I'm
planted out in Il desert where they
won't nothing grow but tho grace Of
God. and that grows slow.
Now | want you to quit adding
around and let me have some of that
water. ! need II in my business. and
II don't get II soon I'm going TO vote
Republican to the end OF my life"
Senator Thomas wrote this irate cor
respondent an elaborate note, explain
ms that much as he would like to as
sist him he could not do so until he
had attained n more supernatural pow
or than he now possessed.
81 En- Well Edicnted."
Scarcely behind this in interest is
this note. received by John Sharp VIII
liams. senior senator from Mississippi
TO the Senator Frum mississippi
iio Mush All want COB. as post
marstcr l en- well cdicated in schools
where the best is tort. Coming from
west am abbcl 20 luke out for post
marstcr work. Do not forgit. All kin
furnish proofs of kwility"
Speaker Clark's Offers.
Speaker Champ Clark-unlike many
of his collcaHucs--always answers his
freak correspondents. unless tho evil
dence overwhelmingly favors tho pre-
sumption thst a writer is considerably
more than cratic And he gets some
notes that demand OF him very delicate
tact.
For example, no received in the malls
last lntuu1u the fOllOwinr offer.
Understanding your fondness for
hound dogs | place any number of mine
ut your disposal. have 100 now.
breed them"
The Speaker with much haste thank
fully declined this generous offer, lest
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13
GLADSTONE
Especial to The imes-pispatch.l

Especial 10 The Times Dispatch.l
Gladstone. Va. July l2--Mrs. \. D. Jordan
and Miss FlOrine Harris have returned from
visit TO Lynchburg.
w H. Anderson. OF Richmond. has accept
cd the agency here since the resignation OF
~ !. Davenport.
Miss Alice Wallace has discontinued her
visits 10 Ivnchh,irg for short while. owing
to the absence OF her music Instructor Pro-
lessor Schumacher. 80
Mrs Perkinson and her daughter Miss Vir-
ginia. OF Washington. arc visiting Mrs. j. A.
Collier Cume-r. OF Richmond. Is tho guest
OF his sister. Airs -. :. Jones.
l.. y Capell. OF Hinton. Is WISHING MS par
" l. Davenport leaves here for Richmond
Mrs. " r Gibson. OF Clifton Fofxe. ID
spending some time at Hotel Gladstons.
Mrs IT. l.. Fisher is visiting relatives at
East Bank w. Va, and IL. L. Fisher IL at
tending Y. 81. c. {. assembly 1T black
Fork. y. c.
j. w Moon left this week for Roanoke. la
Ernest TompkinS OF Alexandria who has
been visiting friends here, has returned
q 1
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13
---SONHE EPISTOLARY CURIOSITIES

ing hand, had begun 10 seriously
debate with myself what was really
best to do when two IF my younger
sons. noting my agitation. thought
best to confess that they had written
the note.
But hey won't repeat the oftense,"
concluded the secretary with a mean
ing smile.
Copyright. 1918. by John Eltreth
Watkins
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-30
Daddy Bedtime
@, Polly Ge.s a
DIOYV Troublesome
New Pet.

Evelyn smiled when daddy said that no would ten
them The story be about baby goat soneenlns
~ Evelyn had long wished to own H.
u called KID daddy sa1o "foS
had wished this kind and day when kind friend
automobile that IL
She rushed little thing and gathered into ner
can't friend
leather collar that had belonged
kids but BY punching hole
string to the collar and s
end to kid
laughed him take the milk
Though the kid
put Into the barn ha
ehril a.ing be a the neshborhoodL
not comfofted Even the
beginning the friend
Polly along in his auomomh
Howe do Ike this timer he asked
could
crying spite him and the beautiful blue RIB
bon
much but he seems to be very
homes Tn is crying for his mother
friend suggested
idea won't away
now after Polly
kid but he be
trouble into Flower beds
complained that he nbed their choicest
Then Billy to chasing whom he did not Ike
and Poy said
HIM
got though Polly missed him.
Kids u
should and be goats"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-30

Imported husbands have been all
the rage, in those American circles
which are able to afford them, Tor
some years.
An imported husband is the most
stylish thing that can be roped IN with
a marriage license. He costs all the
way from. million dollars up, and US
ually doesn't last long at that. II
really flossy imported husband wears
for five years he is doing very we'll IN
deed, and the friends of the purchaser
remark in supplementary terms upon
her powers Of endurance.
Imported husbands usually come az
membranes. on titles. 1t is impos'
sible to get title in this country with
out a husband attached which makes
it very awkward for those fortunate
young ladies who have everything else
but a title. II titles without husbands
were put .on the market In this counr
try they would have an enormous sale
and the astute country which went IN
to the business would be able to take
q large slice off of its national debt.
Imported husbands come over free
of duty and return the same way. In
fact, duty and titled husbands are us:
,ually strangers and continue so until
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-30
Ponderous Pcrsonages
BY GEORGE FITCH
Author of AT Good Old Siwash''
IMPORTED HUSBANDS
By GEORGE FITCH
Author of AT Good

the divorce courts gets in it's work.
Imported husbands would not be SO
bad If they could be kept in this court
try where the fathers-in-law could oc-
casionally get at them with club. I'm.
fortunately, after an American girl
has imported husband she has to
60 back to Europe with him. The
worst thing about imported husbands
in this country is exported wives.
! = Europe is, pretty well sprinkled
with American wives who, accompan
Ted their purchases back to the old
country and have never been able to
save steamer fare home out Of their
pin money. An imported husband costs
more to run than an imported auto
mobile. But this is because, as a rule,
he is about twice as fast as anything
else on earth.
Imported husbands wouldn't be 30
bad If they came with the usual acces.
sries considered necessary In this
country for frst-class, permanent
husband. When an imported husband
is accompanied by morals, intelli.
gence} and ability, he makes as fine a
husband as the domestic brand. There
should be an import duty of 100000
per cent on all others.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-30
BETTER CHILDREN TO TEACH.

"School hygiene has gone far for
ward from the old fashioned daily ten
minutes OF class room calisthenics and
from the semi-weekly half hour Of reel
tation from dull text book on physi
ology," says an editorial writer In
Worlds Work. 'Such practical things
as adequate ventilation, scientific light.
ing, sanitary privies, exercise in school
gardens, and health inspection have re-
placed the old routine gymnastics and
the instruction that did not instruct
Physicians and dentists and sociolog
lists have come to the aid Of the school
men and they are studying together
the problems of healthful childhood
and cooperation to put into practice
the efficient knowledge Of science to
build better race.
TT has been estimated that of the
twenty million pupils in the schools OF
this country, probably five per cent
have tuberculosis of the lungs, more
than Ave per cent have defective Wis
ion, twenty-five per cent are suffering
from malnutrition, more than thirty
per cent have enlarged tonsils and ade
noids or enlarged glands in the neck
and more than fifty per cent have de-
fective teeth which interfere with
their development In other words
about fifteen million children require
attention to their physical health.
"To meet these conditions, many
cities now maintain open air class
rooms and even whole schools in the
open air fight tuberculosis, dental
clinics to discover and correct defects
of the teeth that lead to malnutrition
optical clinics that turn many dull
pupils into bright pupils, special class
for backward and deficient children
and health inspection and visiting
nurses, that do an incalculable service
toward improving the bodily and ment
al vigor of the young folk. =
sNThese helpful activities lend spec
ial Significance and interest to the
fourth international congress on school
hygiene, which will gather at Buffalo
In August More than $50 doctors and
teachers from all parts of the United
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-30
ANOTHER COLD STORAGE ABUSE

When there are 65,000,O0O pounds
of butter held in cold storage and
prices at the same time are going up
the "A consumer naturally wonders
where his interests come IN. He mas
been told many times that the stor.
ing of food is a good thing for him,
because it gives him In the seasons
of scarcity the surplus accumulated
in the seasons Of plenty. Yet today
with butter being produced In large
quantities and the butter holdings
among the largest ever known he Is
paying near midwinter prices.
Chicago jobbers, it is reported, at:
tribute the ruling high prices and
heavy cold storage stocks to the war
fare between the Chicago and the Ell
gin butter boards. They predict that
q disastrous ending in the present cam
paign in cold storage butter will mean
the death of the Elgin butter board.
It was not so long ago that TINS LAT.
ter hoard received the attentions OF
the government on the ground that It's
members were conspiring to hold up
the prices OF this almost universally
used article Of food At that time
several hundreds OF thousands OF
pounds that had been held were plac
cd on the market.
Today while the situation is differ
ent conditions, from the consumers
viewpoint, are the same. In a time
when butter should be cheap he Is
paying high prices. What will be ask.
ed for butter in winter-the natural
h;oh nrico neriod-must be left to the
Imagination
The people Of this country are rap
Idly reaching the point where they
look with strong disfavor on all at.
tempts to interfere with the normal
laws of supply and demand. Rightly
used the cold storage plants might be
utilized to equalize prices throughout
the year; abused they only serve to
cheat and rob the consumer.-La
Crosse Tribune.