davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
PRYOR'S ONE AWFUL MISTAKE
Helped Himself to What He Thought
Was Brandy, But Which Proved
to Be iodide of Potassium.

During the attack on Fort Sumter
In 1861, Roger A Pryor of Virginia,
ex-member of congress, was one Of
the second deputation that waited up
on Maj Anderson. He was literally
dressed to kill. Bristling with bowie
knives and revolvers, like a walking
arsenal, he appeared to think himself
individually capable Of capturing the
fort. Inside the fort he seemed to
think himself master, and, in keeping
with this pretension, upon seeing
what appeared to be glass Of
brandy, drank it without ceremony.
Surgeon (afterward GeneraD Craw-
ford, who had witnessed the act, APP
preached him and said:
Sir, what you have drunk is poi
son--it was iodide Of potassium"
The representative Of chivalry I'M
stantly collapsed; bowie knives, re-
volvers and all. Surgeon Crawford i'm
mediately took him in hand, and after
several hours hard work brought him
around all right. Pryor left Fort Sum-
ter wiser if not a better man"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
DisComfortS and Hardships of
of Former Times Unknown.
First and Second Class Men of Ann
apoIis Enjoy Themselves When on
Big attIeships-Methods
Are Changed.

New York.-Each evening there may
BE seen in the theater district some Of
,h9 midshipmen from the United
States ships Delaware and Arkansas
,Ee former at anchor in the North
river at Eighty-siXth street, the latter
n the Brooklyn navy yard. They are
IN theater liberty, says the New York
sun.
On each battleship of the Atlantic
1eet, with but two exceptions, are ten
niddies of the first class and fourteen
If the second. Those Of the first class
when in blue service uniform may be
Identified by the two gold stripes on
heir sleeves, while those of the sec
md have only one. When in white
service uniform there is no way Of
distinguishing between them.
Until last year the three classes re-
naming in the Naval academy at Ann
lpolis, after June week had disposed
IF those graduating, were slowed away
n three Of the smaller ships and sent
IL a practice cruise. Often they went
Ibroad; sometimes they made only
crab cruises" up and down the coast.
The Massachusetts, the Iowa and
he Indiana were usually chosen for
his painful operation, and in time
lave become famous in speech and
iong. One song in particular gives
rent to the midshipmen's feeling in
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
CHAPTER XII.

When Gloria found that the Presby-
terrain Mission was in need Of money
in order to extend its work, she sug-
gested to Mrs. Hayes that they go
among their friends, explain the stu
alton and ask money for their charity
One of the first upon whom they
called was Judge Gilbert. Williams
explained that the judge was busy
for a few minutes and asked them to
be seated. He did not know if the
men cared to be bothered with mere
women on such a day.
When Williams announced that Miss
Kerr and Mrs. Hayes wished to see
him, Judge Gilbert asked Kerr if he
knew the meaning of the visit.
f'They got some sort O. mission
work they're begin IL FOR: It's jass a
polite shake down"
81 didn't know she had taken it up
that seriously just thought she went
down with Mrs. Hayes out of curl
ception room, there opened two
osity.''
Women is queer creatures, Amos
Gloria's spendin' lots Of her time with
Sans wife savin' souls. You're in for
it. She got me to subscribe a hun
dred dollars. Wanted my name to head
the list. 1 told her to put me down
as Cheerful Giver. Said l was castin'
bread on the water without any hope
O. gittin' it back. Them mission
things is usually fakes"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
I-2~ 92~ng2U 5Sss@0S
GOT HIS WIFE BY PURCHASE.
Recent Transaction in England Gives
Rise to Some Caustic Remarks
BY Eastern Editor.

We are all in agreement upon the
general principle that however much
a man may want wife he ought not
to buy one. But at the same time we
do hear sometimes of the frank and
unashamed purchase Of wife. Take,
for instance, a certain divorce case
that has been heard recently in Eng
land and that was described by the
Judge as an instance of wife-buying,
which it certainly was. Mr.. Morand
asked for a divorce from his wife on
the ground that the lady had given
the most unmistakable proofs Of her
preference for mulumllI1ona1r0
named Captain Morrison. In a way it
was a friendly suit, since Captain
Morrison was willing to pay $4,000
damages and Morand was willing to
receive that sum. They were both in
agreement as to the value Of the lady,
and the Judge concurring, the divorce
was granted and the transaction com
pleted.
OF course, the story is rather dis
gushing one, but we are disguised not
because Captain Morrison bought a
woman, but because he bought a
woman who was already a wife. There
is nothing remarkable about the pur-
chase of a woman, since it is done
every day. Sometimes it is the man
who offers to sell The various asso-
Citations of young women who have
recently announced that they win
marry no man with an income of less
than $4,000 a year have virtully stated
Bible. The number grew from IA
to 81. The average attendance was
IS. Some men were converted down
there. One member Of the class is
now preparing for the ministry.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

originally presented by Senator Zeb
Vance in the tariff debate of 1889.
Our Mary had little lamb and
her heart was most intent" it rhymed
ito make its wool, beyond its worth,
bring Sc per cent"
The classic went on to tell that
where e'er the poor girl went, one
leg was warmed with wool and one
with Sc per cent"
Now, with free WOOL said Senator
TiIlman, Mary viii have to let her
women friends wear stockings on both
legs, instead of one-something they
have not been able to do in twenty
years."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Thoroughly Qualified.

A family of four women bought an
automobile. In their search for a
chauffeur they were very hard to suit.
At last man applied whose qualif-
cation could not be gainsaid. Before
demonstrating his ability to manage
the machine he said:
4 used to be a window dresser, yod
know, in a big1dEy goods store"
Indeed" said the eldest daughter
'tAnd may ask how that helped you
to qualify for this position?"
Howl" he exclaimed why, great
Scott! didn't I learn all about drap,
ing figures in artistic style, and can't
1 pile the robes and furs around you
ladies till you will look like regular
fashion plates ??
1t was fortunate for the women that
In addition to that accomplishment the
young man was also competent
chauffeur, for he got the Job without
further questioning.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
HUMAN KANGAROO is CAUGHT
Wild Man, With Hair and Beard Foot
Long, Found Living in Water
and Mud.

Jersey City, N. 1.-THE human kan
CARGO" that his been frightening resi-
dents of Secaucus and farmers who
drive through that borough at night
is in captivity at last and will not
scare anyone for a long time unless
he manages to break out of jail
All summer guests have been fright
ened out of their wits by seeing a
form similar to that of a kangaroo,
only larger, leap across the road in
front of them. 1t got so bad that WON
en- would not go to church of an eve
ming.
The human kangaroo" was cap
tured in his hut make Of meadow
grass half filed with water. His head
rested on a mud bank while his body
was entirely submerged in water.
His hair and beard are more than
foot long. To the police he gave
the name of Louis Jarchimaco and
said he came from Akron, Ohio.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
en- coIonized IN the

noaters had been colonized IN the
levee district.
I'VE cant count on much besides
them wards" explained Kerr, unless
the Belmont News goes OFT OF bust
ness
What can we DO about it?" in
CURED Hayes. He saw defeat staring
them in the face.
Sam" replied the boss after a mo-
ment's silence, every mans got his
price-in some form or other"
News or no News. we've got to
win" exclaimed Kendall desperately.
I've staked everything on it in Chi
cago and l must get results-and that
meang 4 franchise and nothing but q
franchise
Then we've got to have that paper
at any cost"
Its mortgaged for all it's worth, .
said Gilbert
That won't help Us in the next
three days" snapped Kendall.
There amt no use mincing mat
ters," concluded the boss. We're up
against it. There's only one thing to
do; see what he'll sell for, and pay
him his price
Judge Gilbert looked at the matter
from the point of view of a business
lawyer.
ct won't be cash down for the
whole thing. We merely assume the
mortgage, and then pay him whatever
he'll take to clear out"
Kerr had figured all this out With
him time was the most important
consideration.
We've got to get busy mighty
quick" said the boss.
when are you going to see him?''
asked Kendall.
Right away"
1--WE can't very well go to his Office. y
said Gilbert Gwen that little move
would give him more of an advan-
tage."
Get him over here" ordered Kerr.
Telephone him. He'll come. You
needn't say who's here"
Judge Gilbert picked up the tele-
phone on the table and asked Vii
A4Gi111o5 Ills SNN4C VIM sal III Liz
outer Office, to get Mr.. Wright at the
Belmont News on the line for him.
Judge GiIbert's Offices consisted Of
an outer room where sat his secre-
tary; within, where Kerr and his lieu
tenants were in conference, was the
library, a large room looking out on
the main thoroughfoTe of Belmont;
and from this, opposite the outer re
ception room, then opened, two
smaller rooms, one Of which Gilbert
used as his private Office, the other
as a room for consultations.
When GILBERT finished telephoning,
he said, He's busy going 0>ve~ the
proofs of some late stuff for this afterA
moons paper, but he'll be over in half
an hour or So"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

about the workman and how she came
10 know him
His wife came 20 the mission for
help last winter when he was sick"
Mrs. Hayes explained.
Gloria looked at the man in the
trench, bending his back in pain that
she might have place to serve tea in
the afternoon and lou in a swinging
seat in the moonlight. He was but
unit out Of those teeming millions of
units to whose existence she had al
ways been Indifferent. Had she been
told in other days that this mans
family had almost died OF want she
would have let it stay in her mind no
longer than the news that a hundred
poor girls had been burned to death
in a fire trap a bribed factory inspec-
tor had branded as safe. In other
words, she would not have considered
the matter at all To have dominion
over palm and pine to Gloria meant
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
COPYRIGHT BY A.c rccLuf7G & CO., 1919
SYNOPSIS.

Gloria Kerr. a motherIess girl, who has
spent most Of her life in school, arrives
ct her fathers home in Belmont. David
Kerr Is the political boss Of the town.
and is anxious to prevent his daughter
learning Of his real character. Kendall.
representing the Chicago packers. is ne
gOGating with Judge Gilbert, Kerr's chief
adviser, for a valuable franchise. They
fear the opposition Of Joe Wright, editor
Of the reform paper. Kerr asks the as
Gloria TO Belmont society, and promises
70 help him put through the packers
franchise and let him have all the graft.
Gloria meets Joe Wright at the GilbeTts.
Il appears they are on intimate terms.
having met previously in touring party
In Europe The GIberts invite Gloria to
stay with them pending the refurnishing
Of the Kerr home. Wright begins his fight
against the proposed franchise in the col
urnns Of his paper. the Belmont News
Kerr. through his henchmen, eXerts ev-
cry influence to hamper Wright in the
publication Of his paper.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Special Aid TO General Hunter.

Quite a sensation was created In
Jefferson City, Mo-, one evening by
the arrival Of Mrs. Colonel Ellis, from
Upton, bearer of dispatches from
General Hunter and Colonel Ellis.
She had ridden Is miles since 10
o'clock, delivered her orders at camp,
and then waited upon General Price
with her dispatches, urging forward
two squadrons of Colonel Ellis COM
mand, to join the regiment at Upton.
This muller valiente was attached to
the First Missouri Cavalry, as special
aid to her husband, Colonel Ellis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Rrnadhrim,s Method.

A secession minister comes into the
store kept by a Quaker, and talks loud
Iy against the country, until Broad
brim tells him ne must stop or leave
the store. The clerical brawler keeps
on, till the Quaker tells him he viii
put him out of the store if he does
not go out. What" exclaimed the
minister Il thought you Quakers did
not fight" 1.-THE sanctified do not
fight, but I have not been sancdfied
yet; and l will put thee out of the
store in a minute!" The minister fed
from the wicked Quaker.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

there is the money to be taken into
consideration. The middies are al,
lowed to receive none from home and
are given only SIS upon coming to
New York. The first night is glori.
Gus, but it is short and is soon only a
dream, Then there are days of idling
away the hours that they might be
spending ashore. days of eating beans,
hash and sIum gullion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

Yes said the determined looking
woman, 81 might manage to hand you
a bite to eat if you'll saw and chop a
good pile of wood and bring in a few
buckets Of water and pick the weeds
out Of the garden and fix up the fence"
Lady" replied Meandering Mike, I'm
only q hungry wayfarer; I amt yer
husband"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
"T T1ffGn Mission Things Is Usually
Fakes"

it," said Gilbert disconsolateIy. but
I'm afraid he's got us beat"
Kendall was hopeful still.
It's three days till election" he
urged Anything can happen in that
time"
Il wish I believed in miracles like
you do" was DR.. Hayes rueful COM
ment.
Only a miracle can save u.s." added
Judge Gilbert gloomily.
81 tell you. gentlemen" insisted
Kendall, 81 still think Dave Kerr can
swing it."
All the same" answered the cor
oner when I went out to stick my
good money in real estate options on
factory sites l wash I'd been riding
Belaam's ass"
The others laugh at his expense
was cut short by the entrance of Da-
vid Kerr.
How s it look, Mr.. Kerr?" asked
Gilbert.
at might be worse" was the reply.
1--WE count the votes, don't we?"
Gilbert. was not OptfInISllc.
I'm afraid it isn't going to be that
close"
"Have you heard anything from the
eleventh." queried Kendall.
81 had a talk with Sweeney this
morning, and he said he could put
enough stock-yards people in the lev
enth to deliver the ward all right.
Bauerschmidt was in my Office at the
same time. He's up against it in the
sixth"
Then we can't count on much out
side the river wards said Kendall.
Kerr nodded his head. He could
have added that the river ward men
would vote early and often, but that
there was no occasion for it. 1t was
an open secret that for several weeks
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
TILLMAN IN POETS ROLE
Senator Recites "Girl With One
Stocking" in the United
States Senate.

Washington.-A little protective
pastoral entitled ga Girl With One
Stocking enlivened the senate pro.
ceedings when presented by Senator
Tillman, who recently Illuminated the
pages of the Congressional Record
with cartons Of his income tax COW.
Mr.. Tillman claimed no credit for the
contribution, but acknowledged it was
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

the head of McCluney's prize Jersey
COW, Daisy.
Mrs. Hausmann is a neighbor of the
McCluney's in Hampton Park She
took the bulldog for his daily exercise,
without the restraint Of a leash, and
the result was coafict of tooth and
horn.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
DOG TEARS OFF cows HORN
Prize Canine and Thoroughbred Jer-
sey Meet in Unequal Combat
Near ST. Louis.

St. Loufs.-The inbred enmity Of dog
and COW, shown long ago by the Cow
with the crumpled horn that tossed
the dog" broke forth anew in the pas
ture Of Samuel McCluney, a wealthy
St. Louis broker, in St. Louis county,
when Rodney Stone, Mrs. T. L. Haus-
mann's prize bulldog, tore a horn from
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
CHAPTER XII.

On the day Of his interview with
McMinitry Kerr had asked Kendall
and DR.. Hayes to meet him at Judge
Gilbert's office directly after luncheon
At this conference he intended to tell
them they would have to acquire the
News. The transfer Of the property
need not be made until after the
election, but he wanted to know at
once that it was his.
The boss was late, and the three
men had to wait some time for him.
7 wouldn't want the boys to know
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Those Aqcrieved.

Mr.. Gladstone once denounced GER
tain members of the Opposition as
"a lot of trucking attorneys" a phrase
which caused some Indignation On
the following day he said: Il recent
" described some members as truck
ing attorneys I now wish to apollo
gize"-some applause from the ag-
grieved parties interrupted hint
now wish to apologize-to the attoT
neyg."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Father TO Perform Cersnnonu

Jersey City.-Miss May Bowen.
daughter Of Rev. Isaac Bowen, of
North Bergen, will be married to
Francis E. WILDER of Canton, China,
who recently received her yes" by
cable. WILDER proposed by letter.
The ceremony will be performed by
the brides father who has married
$50 couples. Rev. Bowen is anxious
to make his daughters wedding the
one thousandth and has asked that
nine couples wishing to be married
present themselves at his parsonage.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
HELD 131-YEAR-OLD GRUDGE
Woman Keeps 100000 From cou-
sins by Request to Her Finan-
ciai Adviser.

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. members Of
rhe Dunn family looked with contempt
mon the humble occupation Of John
Carrot, when he started in the snuff
business 131 years ago. with only s109
capital. the Dunns have been absolute
Iv ignored in the will of their cousin,
Miss Julia Garrett. last survivor of
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Jimmy on Guard,

The county farm in an Illinois town
has an old character named Jimmy.
Somebody gave Jimmy a policeman's
since he has deemed it his nfework to
guard things. He goes around guard
ing motor cycles and baby carriages
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
CHAPEL IN SHIPS MAGAZINE
Surrounded by High Explosives Sail
ors of Warship Received
Bible Lessons.

After Mr.. Reader had been aboard
the Nebraska g few weeks he went to
the executive officer and said he want
ed a place where he could conduct g
Bible class for about % men, place
~ here they would be sure mot to be
disturbed, says the Christian Herald.
The cheer ordered one OF the cleo
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
WILSON GIVES WHEEL TO BOY
President Sends New Bicycle to Re.
place One Demolished in Auto
Accident.

-Fffteen-yearold Bob
bic Crawford, the messenger who rode
his bicycle in front of President Viii
sons automobile short time ago, was
a happy lad. When he left the hos
pital, fully recovered, he received
brand new wheel, the gift of the presi-
dent, and a personal letter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

the family, who died at Villa Nova sew
eral weeks ago.
Nursing the hereditary enmity for
the Dunns, Miss Garrett is said to have
bequeathed 100000 to her financial
adviser and executor, Isaac c. Starr.
Through personal liking for one
woman who married into the Dunn
family, the mother Of George Garrett
Dunn, the millionaire banker, Miss
Garrett forgot the family enmity in
her case and left her $4,000. Mrs.
Dunn being dead, this amount will De
divided among her children.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
MISS SHEN PROVES A TARTAR
Chinese Sufragette PummeIs Editor
Who Criticized Her-He Makea
Retraction.

Pekin, China The Kuoming-
zungpoa newspaper recently criti-
sized Miss Shen Pei Ching, lead
ng suffragette of China and for
ner leaders of the Amazons, for
abandoning the seclusion pre-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

pride in him and her loyalty to him
were all the greater for the lack Of
love. She felt that she was at fault
for not having that true fltal regard
which other daughters had for their
fathers, and therefore whenever she
could she strengthened her faith in
him as Belmont's leading citizen.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
Resented the Secrecy.

A new little brother had come to
small Carew, and it was observed that
he looked sulky. Being asked If he
were jealous or what allied him,
he made outspoken answer: No, l
amt jealous, an I like the new kid
well enough for a baby, but I think I
might have been told he was comm.
How'd you all like it if I was to walk
int othe house tomorrow and Just
shout out, See, I gotter a babyi' an
none Of you'd even so much as heard
a peep from me before?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

scribed for oriental women, and re-
ceiving gentlemen callers. The pa
per questioned the morality of such
custom. Miss Shen thereupon went
to the editorial sanctum Of the pub
.ication, severely pummeled the edit
Or, overturned desks and tables and
forced him to publish a retraction.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30

and threshing engines when the own.
ers are shopping or at luncheon.
One day when the Chautauqua was
in session Jimmy was discovered
guarding q hole in the fence. Some
boys wanted to sneak through the
hole, but Jimmy stopped them and
said:
That's what I'm here for-to keen
people out"
Then he added, in low tone.
But if you'll go around the corner
Of the fence there's another hole
where you can get through"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-30
CHAPTER X.-continued.

GIorias admiration of her fathers
powers did not lessen upon their bet
ter acquaintance. Strange as it may
seem, her loyalty to him was strength
aned by each turn of fortunes wheel
which thrust her back upon herself.
The frivolous veneer in her nature
was being worn away, and the real
Gloria was beginning TO appear.
Eerr's was indeed a powerful person
aIity, and Gloria was coming 20 see
why he was so successful. a woman's
intuition and not an understanding of
the facts in the case was the girls tu-
tor She Rugged to her heart the com
parison of Joe Wright and her father
In the younger man she saw some Of
the traits which made her father a
power magnetism, reserve. strength,
and a logical mind. Wright had that
and more: he had all the social
graces. To her, however, his great
est appeal was that he was youth,
eternal youth, and love.
What Gloria could not understand
was why Wright was avoiding her. In
her ears she could hear him whisper
as he had that night: