The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-11-06
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LATE Mr.. M'GLUCKEN
BY MAX ADLER.

that you have given in his obituary
notice?"
well. tolerably certain"
Because, in describing his appear
ance, you say that he had a Roman
nose, and only one eye, and that there
was wart upon it. Do | understand
you that the wart was upon the Ro.
man nose or the eye? The expression
is not perfectly clear"
"The nose, of course"
You remark, also, that MI. Nc
Glucken's nose was badly injured ia
the railroad accident at Newark. In
consequence of the bridge giving way.
Now, | don't catch the drift of this.
Do you mean that the railroad acci-
dent resulted from the breaking Of
the bridge of Mr.. McGlucken's nose.
or that the bridge of his nose gave
way after the accident, or that the
nose was hurt by the railroad bridge
giving way. or how? You are not
definite enough
"I refer to the railroad bridge"
"Ah Then you go on to say that
Mr.. McGlucken married in 1897, but
that after year of too brief happi-
ness, his wife died suddenly, leaving
him with eight dear little children.
the eldest of whom was but seven
years of age. This is calculated to
fill the minds of readers with per-
plexity. Are you sure there were
eight children? And. if so, that the
oldest was but seven years of age?"
81 forgot to state that Mrs. Nc
Chicken had been married before, and
that there were three sets of twins"
The omission is important. I no.
ice that you say, in the fourth para
graph from the bottom. that McGluck-
en- went to sea when he was a young
man, and that his craft was stove at
Fill islands. Then Immediately after
ward you remark that at poker he
never had a rival. Now, I can hardly
believe you mean it, and yet do you
know that a superficial reader, glanc-
ing over your article, might easily
get the impression that McGlucken
went to sea in a stove, and somehow
or other managed to row himself
shore on the Fiji islands with a
poker Read it over and see for your.
self ! tell you. Mr.. Peters, this kind
| of a want of detiniteness won't do for
a newspaper 1t confuses peoples
| minds. and maddens them, and brings
| them down here with murder in their
| hearts"
81 admit that it is not exactly clear.
"But this is not the worst What do
you mean when you say, in the fifth
| paragraph, that while Mr.. McGlucken
lived in Perkiomen township he was
somewhat lame for a few years, and
that he had the largest corn in the
country-it was more than eight feet
| high? Now, do you mean that he had
q corn eight feet high, or that he had
corn in his field eight feet high, and
if the latter, why do you associate the
corn with Mr.. McGlucken's lameness
| Don't you see for yourself that most
| persons would get the notion that Nc
| Glucken's lameness was cauEed BY a
corn which grew up through his boot
and was fastened to his hat? Why
Mr. Peters, If we were to print thine
| like that / believe this Office would be
gutted by mob before night"
81 see. l must rewrite that"
Right afterward, next to that sin.
gular reference to the fact that his
aunt persisted in putting on her gum
shoes whenever she went to bed and
that his grandmother swallowed her
spectacles three times in church, you
remark that in 1905 Mr., McGlucken
was taken with torpidity of the liver
| whereupon he Joined the Swedenbor
gian church, and voted the Populist
ticket regularly. You see you fail to
make the thing connect. People will
want to know how torpidity of the
liver drove him over to the Sweden
borgians. and why a Swedenborgiar
with an ineffective liver should have q
propensity to support the Populists
And no sooner does the bewildered
reader give up the problem than you
add. respecting Mr. McGlucken's con
nection with the church choir, that he
was a fine singer generally. but or
this particular Sunday he rode his ia
vorite horse to church, and, as he had
the hesves, he had to stop before
reaching his destination, so he missed
his usual participation in the services
ct cetera, ct cetera l pledge you my
word of honor, Mr.. Peters, as a mar
who has his finger on the public pulse
there will be million people around
here tomorrow perfectly savage tC
know whether McGlucken had the
heaves, or whether the horse had! No
Mr. Peters, 1t won't do! It really
won't l want to put in good obitu
airy of McGlucken. 1 know you wan
to do him justice. can see your sym
pathetic feeling running all through
this article 1t Is chock-full of genuine
emotion You really mourn for Mo
Glucken. But, hang 1t! young man, Il
would let the billowy tumults OF sor
row that rage in your soul boil out intc
the columns Of the Daily Argus in thil
particular form, l should have the
whole McGlucken family after me with
libel suit, and within forty-eigh
| houra the toSona aaviuuoo in fh.