New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-04
AS | WAS SAYING

Once upon a time there were builders who said.
Come let us build great hail." and they built IT,
and it very great.
one day. there multitudes into the great nall
and many bold orators lifted up their voices, but no
one could hear any word that they spoke, so great
the hall.
Then there and much anger. and men salo
to one another. "Oh, that we might hear!
But at last there boy orator, with lungs
like the bulls of many Nebraskas and a voice like
free silver and the multitudes heard and were glad
because of his lungs and his voice and capped ther
hands and wept for JOY, and loved him with great
love and tried three separate times to make MIN
President.
Moral: Not all the bricks in the world were built
into the great hall.
The above catastrophes happened years and years
ago but only see how the boy orator is catching 1t IN
Brother Martins patriotic little Fourth Of July
screechfest
The good philosopher happens to be discussing
Mr. Wilson. Says Mr.. w. is still an experiment
as he docs not yet take a confident position. Then
adds: mfr Wilson knows certain things and Is
familiar with the sensation Of knowledge. and wnen
he does not know something he is aware of IT, be-
cause he misses the sensation Of knowledge
Then oh jumping frecrackers! what an awful
thing Brother Martin says next! Casts an eye on
that hapless boy orator and remarks: Mr. Bryan Is
not famlllar enough, nayOe, Win tHe seHS"tOh va
knowledge to miss 1t when it is not present.
Miss Jessie Henderson has paused in her scamper
through Europe to watt home pretty nosegay oil
British names-Yell Lemon. and the rest-to which
we would add Whale. Fudge, Rabbits, Punk, Snyde
Duck Worry and Rubber. faithfully copied out from
our notebooks of travel 1t is to laugh but not 10
wonder. Plenty of reason why these astonishing
patronymics should be found in England. Naturally
their lack the grit to introduce themselves In
"a country.
In the main admire DIR. Woods Hutchinson's
tribute to the horrible fried poultice called nut cut
lets which is the piece de resistance at clammy veg
etarian feasts" But why "feasts"? Why, indeed?
With Hashmura the Wise shout; Sailors enjoys
more bill Of fare when shpwrecked on logs! When
driven desperate by hunger they can at leastly cook
one another"
More circus After our merry. merry frolcs with
Esperanto. Voapuk Ido Spudgiwog Whikko, Wop,
Snorkinboo Twdge and other delightfully."- universal
languages privileged to learn Ro! a
wondrous jargon; IL sweeps all before II. Easy
Why, we have hardly studied Ro forty minutes. yet
can already understand much two-ffths of
what saying
However. we have seen how fashions change in
universal languages and cannot predict an extended
run OF luck for Ro II has dangerous rival, here
in New York, where ingenious system is begin
ming to enable Scythans TO communicate with Tag
alloys. Babylonians with blond Eskimos, Sikhs with
Brobdlgnagians and Bashibazooks. BoabItes with
Mosquitobes and (oh. miraculousD New Workers
with Bostonans.
In order to appreciate what ingenious system
this is you must visit our foreign quarters. Take a
stroll evening through Little Tibet Little
Gehenna, and Little Memo. and then look in on Little
Sanjak Of Novipazar or If you find that curious
out-of the-way nook. Little America Would you
believe it? Everywhere they studying English
Down with the duty on art We sympathize heart
lily with the hotel keeps and steamship companies
who are lobbying to that end. Strength to their
pocket books Let corruption rage unchecked For
once abolish that abominabe duty. the beauty
and fashion OF Europe will come bouncing here
anxious for glimpse Of European art.
Judging by the weather have had they must be
revising the Football Rules A redhot discussion
we fancy. and so needless! Why. the whole thing
was figured out to perfection ages ago in China. At
least so a traveller writes home, and ne saw the
game with his eyes.
They play it In the street. fifty on a side and
whenever the man with the ball finds himself hard
pressed ne takes to a houseop, blows a whistle and
calls the local Hooligans to his assistance True
there are no goals and sidelines and the sport
boasts all the wild, tumultuous informality OF a
Boxer outbreak in Cork we hear that many have
come TO despise the Chinese game declaring that it
has no rules at all But this is to miss the whole
point. BY doing without rules the Chinese have
played football for centuries, and still their popula-
ton is larger than ours r. l.. H.