El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-02-04
The Great Family Jar
A Legal Ruling Marking Chalk
Line For the Dear
MOfherSIn;aNv.
BY Dorothy Dix

- JPREAIE COURT justice Grain, Of
Brooklyn. has just settled the do
- nestle problem OF the ages, and
laid down the law for mOtherinlaW. 1t
is, in effect that the mOtherinlaw must
preserve a strictly hands off attitude
when she lives with her children, and
especially must she be careful to Keep
her fingers out Of her daughterinlaw'
pie.
In the case before him a woman. who
had left her husband because he insist
ed upon having MS mother live with
them, was suing for support The man
was poor and unable to maintain the
two women except under one roof. He
refused to turn his feeble and helpless
old mother out OF doors to please his
wife, so she packed up and left
After considering both sides Of the
question the judge ruled that a wife
has right to leave the home Of her
husband If her mOtherinlaw causes
friction in the household. and in rem
dering this decision he mapped out the
chalk line that all mOthersinlaw must
follow. He said:
His Wise Ruling.
she can have no say whatever re-
Earding the management and control
of the home; this belongs to the wife,
and if the husbands mother makes dis
cord where there should be harmony,
lnterfereS with the Wife'S control and
management, even at the request Of her
son, or by her own improper conduct
=
home unpleasant and distressing to the
defendant, then the Wafe would be justi-
fled in leaving her husband and reQuir-
ing support from him elsewhere"
This is an admirable and just decis-
ion that would cause the dove of peace
TO 1lutter back and TOOSt again over
many a tempeStuOus household, II 1t
could only be enforced
Life is so short and all that We get
out Of it is lust our daily happiness,
lhaL II seems but Just and tair mat
this should not be spoiled by or being
compelled to live in the house with
those who antagOnize US at every step,
and who are an ever present thorn in
the flesh This is what the presence
OF his mOtherinlaw in the home means
to many a man, and what her mother
lnlaW IS to most women
A Tragic Problem
In view Of that no one can dissent
from the justice OF the judges decision
that q man or woman is not bound le
gally to live with his or her mOtheTin-
law unless IL is agreeable to 90 So
But the law of the land is curfOuSly
lmpOtent to settle this most delicate and
tragic of all domestic problems. A
woman may force ner husband - send
the old woman who has borne him away
from his home, but no edict of court
can Keep him from hating her Cor doing
so. man may refuse shelter to his
Wife's poor old mother, Dut no law Can
give him back the respect and honor
that he has forfeited in his Wife'S eS-
TEEN when he does it.
a woman Will take the gift of dia-
monds and automobiles from her hus-
band as no more than her right ard
with scarcely d thank you" but let
MIN do something nice ana tender to-
ward her mother and she cant tell you
about II without her eyes filling up
with tears Of gratitude.
A woman may work her fingers TO
the bone for her husband and he won I
nOuce II, but let her be sweet and duu-
tul to his mother and she has forged a
bond between them that not all the
sirens extant could break.
The Real Victim.
A curious phase of the eternal quarrel
between mothersinlaw and daughtersin-
law IS that they never seem to realize
tnat the real victim in the case is not
either one or themselves. but the poor
unfortunate man who is trying his best
10 DO his duty by both wife and moth
er. 1t is he who suffers, and il is the
irony OF fate that not his greatest enc
my could do him so deadly harm as
the women do who love him best
1t would seem that when a mother
was TO live in her sons house she would
have affection enough for him to re-
train from meddlinE with the house
keeping, or criticizing his wife's man
agement, or trying 20 dictate how the
children shall be raised. But she sell
dom does.
The iniaw question causes more IN
happiness than anything else in the
world, but it will never be settled by
law. 1t is only love that is wise
enough to solve it.