The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1913-04-17


the FAithfai--wasiaingt Man
Sass Democracy h. = Das@a-~-
Rides Bab-wouen the swe~t~~s
CRITTERS ga Earth. But-t.ot sosne
Eye-opcner-sppoanung Negroes
Correspondence OF The Caucasian En-
terprise.
Bilkinsville. y. c. April Is. 1919
Az the folks say around these here
theaters. | hev bin pIayin "a return
engagement" at Washington. ID. c.
went back 10 see President Billy VII
son about that thar job in the in
terror department. The President
axed me why | had got stuck on the
interior department. Seq /. Accord
in TO the old bsue-back spellin' book
whar | learned 10 spell an the dick
summaries an sich things the word
interior" means inside or words to
that effect KNOWN that six mil
lions ov dymakrats air rite behind
me or ahead ov me-. maybe. / wanter
get on the inside" and avoid the
scramble. for they IL goin' TO be lots
ov people killed and crippled before
this thing ends. Hit will be worse
nor the war in Greece an Turkey fer
people TO get killed. Why hit looks
like court week in Durham at Wash
ington a ready an lots ov dymakrats
haint hearn that Wilson wuz elected
yit. They hev done built seventy
five whoppin' big hotels in Washing
ton an are organizin' big stock COM
panies every day 10 put up hotels that
will cost from two TO five million dol
lars apiece. Washington capital
lists must think we fellers hev money
to spend" sed to my boardin' house
keeper. Yes" sed he, the dyma-
krats will awl blow in their last dol
lar when Il dymakrat gifts in the Pres
ident's chair. Then. when the pick
ins air ayl taken up they will go
home an6 eat their old red shirts
fer food an pray, fer another repub-
| likin administration, fifteen-cent cot
ton and other things in proportion.
But a guide many ov them will vote
the dymakrat ticket rite along. De-
mocracy liz a disease, not a political
machine at all. Hit is cross betwixt
insanity and jimjams, with some Of
the symptoms of hydrophobia an the
old-fashioned itch. Why you hardly
ever hear the dymakrat party men
toned except In North Carolina and
South Carolina, which air controlled
by such men as Senator Simmons and
Senator Tillman. But for the split
between the Taft and Roosevelt fol-
lowers last fall the dymakrats would
hev been beaten by at least two mil
lions ov votes.'
l soon seed that he wuz a repub-
likin an l made UP my mind that
I'd change boardin' places. But
couldn't find anybody who wuz will
in to say that dymakrat boardin
house could be found in Washington
them Washington folks air nifty care
full ov their regulations.
| rode my famous mule, Bob, to
Washington on the last trip. Bob
generally gives me guide luck. Wish
had taken him the first time. But
then, he mite hev got scared at them
woman suffragists who wuz paradin
around thar howlin' fer the privilege
ov votin' or wearin' pants. cam
say which. Wimin air the sweetest
critters on earth az long az you kiI
confine them to household duties an
sensible livin'. But they air not worth
fifteen cents a dozen when they gi'
to prowlin' around hollerin' fer votin
privileges an sich tomfoolery. IL
ever catch my wife at a votin' place
I'll apply for a divorce within ar
hour an I'll wear colored specks ths
balance ov my life to keep from
even lookin' at another woman I
wimmin yotin' means democracy IL
vote the socialist ticket hereafter Of
: else I'll bury my head in the sane
an leave my feet stickin' out lik.
they say an ostrich does whar the,
run wild in some furrin lands.
l had a long. hard trip to Wash
ington on mule back, but made gud,
time. The first thing ! did wuz {,
git another shave. the second in sew
enteen years. Then l hunted up
place whar they sold eye-openers a
b. ten cents per. When Tar Heel siti
( zen gifts over the State line he 4
D mitey apt TO take cold or the cpl
4 zootick. / haint bin clear ov a bai
cold in forty years nohow. Afte
r visitin' the refreshment shop / chew
e ed Glove an then concluded 10 wall
[ around a bit an git the cramps on
G or my legs. ] took a guide look a
e the White House. Hit don't seem Z
s be any whittier than hit wuz before
r if az white, for Joeseefus Daniels AZ
e some ov the others in the cabine
n hev done begun to appint niggers VIII
. air az black az the ace or spades an
e who smell like rotten coal oil to bi
jobs in the departments and the ne