The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-10
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At the End of =.
the Rainbow

(By Walt Mason.)

(By Walt Mason.)
1T seems strange that old Clinken-
beard is up against it financially in his
advanced age" observed the retired
merchant: i've known him many
years. and there isn't a more industri-
seem to prosper with him."
Its because he never stick to n
keeper. when I first knew him he
was running a blacksmith shop. He
was the worst blacksmith in the Unit
ed States. but people put up with him
and RETAINED from shooting him be-
He tinkered along for a year or two,
running the hoofs OF most Of the
horses and, mules in town, and then
he finally did learn to be a fairly good
workman. and Just when public con-
1dence in him was restored he traded
his blacksmith shop for a restaurant.
less about the restaurant business
than Clinkenbeard knew. but his COM
plant is a common one. When a man
has failed at everything else he either
opens a restaurant or becomes an in.
surance agent. Every farmer in this
state has dreams Of moving to town
some day and feeding the multitude
at an enormous profit. Clinkerbeard
didn't know a porterhouse steak from
a German pancake. He couldn't tell
q mince pie from a smoked ham.
And yet he went into the restaurant
business.
l. H had seven or eight nieces and
he drafted them in as mattresses. and
they broke all the dishes. His wife
went into the kitchen as cook. and
the old Inhabitants still talk Of the
way she ruined good victuals. She'd
take a nice sirloin steak, good enough
for a minister plenipotentiary, and
when she had fried it for half an hour
1t looked and tasted like the sole Of
an old ,overshoe. In about a month
and had to close up his joint.
Hes a good carpenter. There
isn't a better one' anywhere. but he
works at that trade only when he's
broke and has to have some real mon
eN. He went back to carpentering 70.
awhile until he had some money saved
up. and then bought an interest in a
about the feed business than he knew
about catering to the epicures OF the
town and was always sending people
shelled corn when they ordered bran,
and installing wheat straw for alfalfa,
and customers called at the store "
cry fifteen minutes and held an in
dignation meeting. Then one day his
partner absent-mindedly left town
with all the money belonging to the
firm, and ~Clinkenbeard had to dig up
his saw and plan and go to carpenter
ing again;
up he actually came in here and
wanted to buy an interest in this hotel.
! took him into the basement and
talked with him half a day trying to
convince him that no hotel could sur
vive his presence for two weeks. l
tried to explain to him that success
full hotel keepers are born, not made,
but 1t vas all a waste Of words. He
had made up his mind that he was
especially created to. be an .urbane and
genial landlord, so he went over and
bought an interest in the Higgins
house. which was tottering on the edge
of bankruptcy.
Before he had been there three
days all the help vent on strike. He
wanted to show the chambermatds
how to make beds. and he lectured
fooled around the cook until she LAM
med him over the head with a skillet.
and he sassed the porter until that <
aeperated hireling knocked him over
with a baggage truck. Then the hote,
went broke. and the old man went
back to carpentertng again.
HE ran a grocery for a while and
managed to lose all his customers in
a fortnight. Patrons used to complain
that he used the same measures for
.eoaloil ant. .ynolasses and everything
he sold tasted OF something else. The
Goldfish tasted Of onions and onions of
Goldfish. You can't make him believe
that a man needs special training for
Just now he. doing cssrpenterins
work again. but he vas in here this
morning saying he a thinking Of
buying a millinery store. II you
glance back over his record you'll
cease to wonder that he's up AGAINST
u In his old age"
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