The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-08-06
ABatch ofSmiles

Al the railway station in a small
town Il solitary traveller was waiting
for the days only train. Train tim
came and went, but no train. He
went owe TO the station master, an oid
darky: Say, when does today's train
get here anyway"
oh, dat train Won't be in for a
long time yet"
In a few minutes. however, 4 train
was seen crawling toward the station.
There comes the train now" ex-
claimed the Traveller, exultantly, 10 the
darky. Seems TO me YOU don't know
your business, If I'm not mistaken
Say, mister" replied the darkI. II
reckon yous a perfect stranger
around here. OATS yesterdays train,
dat is. Todav's train won't be in till
tomorrow."
Have you ever made a serious mis-
take In putting up a prescription?"
asked the customer of the a~pothecary.
Never but once said the drug
man. Il charged a nan 80 cents in
stead of a dollar and a half"
A young phila delphian who had de-
cided that his somewhat extravagant
spouse ought to keep an account Of
i'i - l''ItIt'iit - ChIIlc W hCI OIle ldy
with a neat account book, prettily
bound.
Now, Suzanne he said. Il want
you to put down on his side of the
book the money | give you for the
household expenses. and on the other
a statement Of how it goes. In a
couple of weeks Ill give You another
supply of money"
Suzanne took the book and prom
ised to follow instructions.
Two weeks later hubby called fol
the book.
ooh. I've kept it all right said
Suzanne. Here it is"
On page was written: "Receiv-
ed from Dick 800" and on the oppo-
site side was the comprehensive state
ment: Spent it ALL"
Husband cat police station)-They
say YOU have caught the fellow who
robbed our house night before last.
Sergeant-Yes. DO you want to see
him?
Hushand--sure. I'd like to talk to
him. | want to know how he got in
without waking my Aife. I've been
trying to do that for the last twenty
years.
lhi OlC Soou HdltI Suy lIS
other opposite, lived together. The
good-natured went out for a walk
and met a poor man, who asked him
for assistance. The curate said he was
only a poor man himself, but II he
had a coin in his pocket the man
should have it. Lo. and behold, when
he pulled his hand out of his pocket
he showed a half crown which he did
not know about and gave it to the
man. thinking he had done an act of
kindness. When he got back to his
lodgings he told his fellow curate OF
his experience. His fellow curate
heard h story out and then said:
You need not he surprised at all; you
have got my %trousers on"
Robbie was in the habit Of running
errands for an old gentleman mex,
door who never paid him except in
ehusive thanks. He had just return.
ed from the third errand one morning
and the old gentleman, patting him or
the head. said:
to you. You're a fine little fellow
Thank you, my boy. thank you"
Obj looked up in his face visit.
2 fully and alphabetically replied:
MIR. Jones, you don't know how
> wish could thank you for some.
thing"
Upon the occasion OF his first visit
!, to a parishoner a certain Boston di
4 vine tried hard to make friends Will
his hosts ~s-year-old.
How old are you my SOM" asked
. the clergyman benignantly.
: Eight" was the laconic
"Ah. quite a little man" came Pat
ronizinsly from the minister. An,
q what are you going to be?" he added
after a slight pause.
II am going to be nine" said tn
child, with conviction.
A Boston father the past summe
sent his boy Reginald and his thrc
sisters to visit n. relative in Maine
Though 1t was understood the Wis
was to consume three weeks, thei
p stay heightened to two months.
Well" asked the father upon tn
e return Of his offspring. was you
Uncle william glad to see your"
WAS he?" reiterated the eldes
boy. as though surprised by the quer.
why. dad. he asked mo why W
didn't bring OIL, mother. the cool