davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FOR SALE-MIScELLANEOUs.
DRY GOODS BUSINESS For SALE

BluEBERRiES-i AM FURNISH.
lns blhebetries fresh and clean for fam
iIf Use. sent c. q. l. In busheI eratne
f rice - cents per quart. The crates 10
charge u l R9dress w "a nsy AL express
held, Me ia. Mao, !.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
AGENTS WANTED.
LEsMAN FOR EITHER LuBRi-

eating oil and grease or paint and spec
ialties Profitable employment for one
who can sell. Address Tropical Oh Com
pany Cleveland. Ohio. ily2Sd6t'
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
MAIL CARRIERS. POSTAL CLERKS.
WANTED FOR U. S. ARMY-AeLE

bodied unmarried men between ages of
Is and 35: citizens of United States. of
good character and temperate habits,
who can speak. read and write the Eng
fish language For Information apply 10
Recruiting Oft1cer, Portland. Bangor or
Lewiston, Me tlyldlEr
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
If THE PERSON WHO WAS SEEN

to pick up the linen dueter coat and
cap. near the corner of Chapel st and
Western Ave. ON Friday morning will
return the lost articles Immediately to
the journal Office a suitable reward Will
be paid. iuly2sdSt
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
SUMMER COTTAGES TO LET
At Hammonds Grove

A S-room cottage, located on the shore;
large piazza, open fireplace In living
room, city water
Inquire Of Mrs. C. p. Burleigh, %
Chapel ST.. or at Journal Office, Augusta.
ittrpnbltf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
All-tta Way by Water.
EASTERN STEAMSHIP CORPORATION
kENNEBEc LINE

Fares between Boston and Augusta
or HaIowell $500 one way, $3.50
round trip.
Steamer leaves Augusta Tuesdays,
THURSDAYS and Sundays $50 =. NJ. Hal
lowell $50 i. NJ, connecting with
steamer City of PockIand Leaving, Gardl-
ner 3l5 +. NJ, Bath Go +. NJ. for Raston
Returning steamers leave Fosters
Wharf. Boston, Mondays Wednesdays,
Fridays and Saturdays at r. NJ. for
Bath, Gardiner, Itallowcil and Augusta.
MAINE STEAMSHIP LINE.
Direct between Portland and New York
Steamers leave Franklin Wharf, Tues
day, Thursday and Saturday $50 =. M
A week day trip in each direction on
Mondays 1920 a. NJ, June %, to Sept. s.
Express service for freight All freight
rates include marine Insurance. All
ships equipped with United Wireless
Telegraph system.
II. A. Clay Agent, Franklin Wharf
Portland. Maine.
}. e. Cunningham, Agent. Augusta; e.
G.. Wall, Agent, Haliowell. $50 apr2Sdtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
DESIRABLE LOT, NEAR COM

moh with t'Io buildings, easly conNertod
INTO dwellings,. Mrs. G. LcB. Gooden. 20
Lincoln Ave. Gardiner. jly1Sd2w
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FOR REAL ESTATE

GOOD HOME ON EAST SIDE; MOD
efn house and stable; large lot, tine
Silade; one Of the healthiest spots IN the
Guy Must be seen to be appreciated
VIII sell at IA sacrifice Inquire at IS
QulinbY St. or Tel 6S-W ilv23dtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
OVER 100 PER CENT, PROFIT

introducing our Red Cross Sanitary
Rugs; a new product Just from the
looms; unique In coorng and design;
made In all sizes; satisfaction guaran-
teed; a wonderful money maker. Agents
wanted. Dundee Mfg Co., 46 Chauncy
ST.. Boston. Mass iune2Sdtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FOR OUR GREAT

premium offer 81 per day easily made
great seller. large profits Write now to
Purchasing Agency, Linsteads Blk,
Bristol. Conn. Iiy26d6tf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE

COTTAGE ON EAST SIDE OF AN.
nabessaeook. 2sx3S VIII exchange for
Neponset canoe with or without mower
or for cash. will sell cheap. Also an old
Tappan Stock Farm. Winthron. r r. ~ ~ .
No. p. ii52a,ii ~, -
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

FRESH ROASTED BON TON PEA
nuts at Dearborn popcorn cart oak
street ttv2ad6t.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
THE PUBLIC TO KNOW THAT

~ DIN ~ fNtNo" lF'6t !
am established in the granite and marble
monumental business and am prepared
to execute any order, large or small. at
prices that recognize the principle of
live and let live Call and see me or.
If you prefer. send "A card and ! will call
with designs and samples of stone. Thos.
j. Lyons, Columbia street, near Augusta
Steam Laundry, Augusta, Maine.
iuIv22dfe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FREE ILLUSTRATED BOOK TELLS

of about 10000 protected positions in u.
s. service Thousands Of vacancies every
year. There lis a big chance here for you
sure and generous, pay, lifetime employ
ment. Just ask for booklet T 494. No oh
legation. Earl Hopkins. Washington,
.. c., jlyldlmo
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
CARDS, NOTICES, ETC.

MRS. CRAM, CLAiRVoYANT, CAN
be consulted on all business and health
References from business people. Read
ings by mail, Capitol ST.. Augusta. Me.
iiy2gd1w*
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29

SATURDAY, JULY 26, A LADIES'
white wooden sweater. on road from
Cross Hin to Webber Pond. by way of
Baptist church. Finder please return to
Il. NJ W alker. care 6. ". Coleman. Au-
gusta, Me, f ID. l. and receive re-
ward iv2ad2t
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
GREAT BARGAINS IN POTATO

INFt0NFNS TN OFNTN
machinery. Geo. r. Smith of Vassal-
boro has the following potato machin.
cry for sale: one Robbins planter, one
standard potato digger. one two-horse
watson spraYer, one Champion sprayer
one two-horse cultivator, two two-horse
hoes, one disk harrow. The above men
toned are in good condition and will be
sold very low may24dtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
LAUNei4-15 FOOT LAUNCH,

H. i. Stanley gasoline motor, first-claSs
condition. good. SAFE. able boat. as good
as new. Hun built by one Of the best
boat builders in Bath. A big trade at $40
v. +. Chase Co, 50 Center St, Bath.
Me. iuly2Sd6t+
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
80 FOOT RuNABouT WITH REC

ord Of Is miles per hour bright nnish
4-cyiinder engine, reverse gear. etc, in
good condition, for sale cheap. Bath Ma
line Construction Co. Bath Me
july2Sd3t.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
A STRING OF AMBER BEADS IN

or near Augusta, Finder please leave at
kennebec Journal office and be rewarded.
juy29d3t
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29

FRANK r. sTRoUT, MEDIUM. CAN
be seen at sos Water St. Gardiner, Maine
Hours / to 9 +. NJ. Readings. one dol
lar No SUNDAY work. iHlN&dlWs
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
FOR LIGHT HOUSEKEEPING. TWO

or three furnished rooms m good Ioaa-
ton. man and wife. no children. Refer
ences. Address by mail, e. care Ken
Hehec Journal. IlY2gd3tf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29

BLACK DOG, PART HOUND.
Brown breast, light feet. Wore brass
trimmed collar without name or number
Answers to name of. Woodrow. Please
notify Eden Hanks. Il Crosby St, Au-
gueta iuIvasi2p
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
A PLEASANT ROOM WITH HEAT

electric lights. and bath, between Win
throp and Capitol streets. Address by
mail only, u. O, care kennebec jour
nal i1V2ld W
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29
A PLACE TO BOARD A GIRL FOUR

Years old in a family who are fond of
children, in the city limits preferred. y.
V. u. Journal Office ilv23dl VS.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-07-29

ONE COVERED, THREE sPRiNG
wagon; Good bargain IL taken at once.
.-----.-- - Ilaskell ~ son. iunel3dtf
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14

with strong wearing parts; EE
value 75c, in holly box. JOG
Women's Heavy Silk Hose, in
all desired colors, double soles.
high spliced heels and strong
garter tops; worth s1.5o; QSo
special :. ....... JOG
Extra Quality Heavy Silk Hose,
with double threads at wearing
parts; worth $500 ca Az
pair; In holly box, at ID a .4C
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
RANDOLPH MACON
Especial to The Times dispatch.


Synchbutg. Va. December l$-Thc fra
ternities at Randolph Macon have adopted
tho practice OF sophomore picds!ng. which
was given Il trial for tho FIRST time At the
beginning OF last session. Stringent rules
have been passed with regard 10 the rush
ing or freshmen. No member Of the first
year class is upon any account 10 he taken
.nto the fraternity houses nor is any
money TO be spent In entertaining fresh
man by fraterniay member OF an alumna.
From this Innovation good results are OK
yncc.ed toward correcting an acknowledged
drawback to college fraternitics
The Virginia Club has been organized with
an enrolment OF iT5 students. The follow
Ing officers were elected at the Nrst meet
ing OF the club: President Miss Virginia
Larnshargcr. OF Harrisonburs: secretary
and treasurer. Miss Margaret McGuifci OF
Roa nokc.
The freshmen arc having an intersection
athletic contest In the high jump. the
standing broad jump and the basketball
throw for distance The class OF 90
freshmen has been divided into four sec
tons Honors will hc awarded TO the
squad scoring the highest number OF
points
Jules Falk. the weli-known vloiinist, gave
au Interesting recital before large au
Liencc in the college chapel on the eve
ming OF December &.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
WEST POINT

Especial 20 The Times Dispatch.1
West Point, Va December l3-Miss Olive
Gault. OF the West Point High School. who
was sent as delegate from the Teachers
Association of King William County to
the Educational Cooperative Association
in Lynchhurg, reported in very interest
inG manner the proceedings OF that body
after business meeting the high school
girls served refreshments.
The women OF the Methodist Church
closed their magazine bazaar on last Friday
night. clearing over 500 An interesting
feature OF the bazaar was eff, of Il beau
fuI handkerchief from Mrs William Jen-
nirgs Bryan and a splendid picture OF the
White House from Mrs Woodrow Wilson
Mrs Philip Gibson and Mrs Carrie Gil
man Mallory attended the marriage OF Miss
Mary Gibson Hnnley to Henry Terry. Of
Charleston. W Va. which took place On
Thursday night al Mathews Courthouse.
Washington. n G.. arc visiting in the
homes q ! II Gary and y. Cheatham
News has hcen received here that Mrs
Fleming Meredith. formerly of Richmond.
nov living with hor SON. DR.. George Mere
nth. nenr Lestor Manor. had mild stroke
OF paralysis the irst OF the week
Miss Mary Gatewood icf, this morning
10 spend the winter in Marion, G. with
her sister Mrs Thomas w Moore While
in the South She expects TO visit Mrs. clyde
j.. Ross at Anderson. s. c.
Mrs J. Llaya Tahb has been called to
Cleveland. o.. on stcount OF the Illness
Of her dsGghter, Mr.. Barrie Fisher
Misc Rosa sutton became the bride Of
Mr. Haywood. OF Gloucester County, yes
tcrday at her home Woodvilic. near Plain
View, King and queen County
Miss Lucille Bray. from waIema, is
the guest IN town OF Miss Irene McGeorgc
NJ Chandler. wife and daughter. spent
sunday with Mr Chambers sister Mrs
f.enuel Johnson. ~ GAINESVILLE. ia King
William County,
Matte. f. Linecomb. An employo In tho
y position with the Williamsburg Gazette
he LEI, FOR Williamsburg on Saturday
Miss Pat,le Puller, who is teaching In
Richmond visited her mother Mira. VI.
FULLER VIII 70 TO san Diego Cal. early in
January 20 visit her daughter, Emily. who
married willard Fishburne last June
Mrs.. II !. Lewis has returned from IA
Visit TO relatives in Norfolk
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
ALTAVISTA
Especial to Tho rimc-.Dispatch. ]

Altavis,a. va. December ,s-D. A smith.
OF Buona Vista paid friends In Atavista
4 vis.t on Saturday night and Sunday.
Miss Jennie Wilkinson was in Lynch
burg Saturday ana Sunday as the guest
MISS Ida lIumphrics spent part Of satur-
DAY nnd sunday In LyuchburG, the guest
of Mrs =. W. Broadwel
Mr. ana Mir ,,, Leonard Jones ne, Of, Of 3 N1s
W. W. Jones, here sunday
Miss Marietta Haskins. who has been
visiting friends In Danvilic returned home
ON Friday
Miss Annie Smith. OF washington D. G.
he has been %sin ,.,, at 'h Mon home ,o OF
Grctna to visit friends
Mrs W u samueis and children re
tuyned home on Thursday from Dsnv!ile
where She attended the wedding OF her
cousin. r, T owen.
The Tuesday Embrodcry Club was en-
;ertainod b, Mrs Thomas II. and Miss
Marietta Haskins Tuesday night Those
present We're Mrs L J.. laughter. Mrs
Misses Florence and Maggie Lane, Misses
lucy and Kate Wilkinson. Misses Lucy and
FRANCES Thompson. Miss Eva Mccutchen.
Miss Ethel Nicr. Miss Marietta Haskins and
Miss May Hundley
Mrs c W. Lane returned 10 her home In
I.ynchburg on Saturday. after few days
visit here the guest OF Mr.. and Mrs. L.
y. McCutchen who remained her guest
till Monday.
E II East OF Vancouver. Canada is
visiting his parents In Pittsylvauin County
and HIS sister Mrs. Dudley Smith and
brothers, Luther and Thomas East. OF this
place.
D- W II Edwards tho presiding elder.
was entertained while here Sunday and
Monday by Mr.. and Mrs. L. Il. Harris and
Ny. and Mrs p. +. Hardison
Mrs. Andrews. OF Lynchourg. was IN town
s.afr.s -. Il.
Mrs. Thomas II Haskins. on Broad street.
Mrs Julia Spencer and her sister, Miss
sue BrooiiS are entertaining Mrs Will
lia'ns. Of Talgdegra. Ala.
The Thursday Embroidery Club met -ith
Mrs. II. a. Dudley at her home Bedford
Avenue last week
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
WARRENTON
Especial to Tho Thnes-Dispatch1

Especial TO The Times Dispatch
Warientou, Va, December l3.-Afiss Stella
Johnson OF TcNae. who has been the guest
at her cousins. the Misses Colvln and Mrs
George smith. has returned home Rus
rel! C0lvin. u WHrrentOn. returned TO Tcxns
with her and vii! make his home there
The vestry az - James Episcopal 'Church
rendered reception on Thursday evening
IT the Parish House 10 the new rector. Rev
William Pendeton who hello his Arst ser
vice in Warrenton on sunday at s. James
Church
Airs T " Mccabc, VINO has been for ;,
nrmncr Of years at Airlic' the home Of
II. g Groomo. left this week for Ealti
more. where she Will make her home
Miss Kathleen Scott az Staten island \
NNarreuton
Mrs james Maadux entertained at a
Gancc at her home. Lection ifm." on Mon
day night About tAiriy guests were pres
A,nonr nose VINO visited washington The
Past week We're Mrs. Edna Miller Aiiss.s
Mary Perkins and George Newly and
Misc virginia Vaughn. who continued nor
trip 20 iialu'node, and Is tho guest Of Nj
~ W Cook. OF that place
Miss Elizabeth r. Gaines wae hostess ,bi.
week to the Wednesday, Afternoon bridge
club. e
Miss Emily " FLETCHER has r.,u,,.o
home after Wet, TO Washington and BAL
timorc "
Mrs Richard Philips ana Mrs shermo,
81 cainhrldge Nd. aye the guests OF Mrs
~ i Graham and Mrs. NJ 4 Wright.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
MEMS GIFTS

Mems Neckwear. put up In nice
holiday box, all the seasons new
est shapes and patterns; a
beautiful assortment; our 70
Mems Bath Robes, a splendid
range of patterns and color COM
binations. nicely made up, button
at neck. heavy cord GO or
belt; our special price. pO.JC
Mems Hose, in holly box. 4
pairs to the box. black or assorted
coiors' all sizes; great EOn
value at .............. JUG
Mems Pure Thread Silk Hose.
2 pairs in an attractive holiday
box; every pair Is fully
guaranteed qua price per 81 M
poA ........... VAsVV
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
HOSIERY for Christmas

Women's Silk Hosiery, with
double soles, high spliced heels
and garter tops; worth
CSC pair; put up In holly AN
boxes, at 1SN
Women's Fine Quality Silk
Hosiery, with double reinforced
wearing parts, all colors: TO-
worth s. pair: in holly box I CG
Women's Fine Silk Hosiery, in
a splendid assortment of colors,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14

Real Princess Lace Handkerchiers
put up in beautiful boxes; O. RI
each 25c to ....... 0l.CU
Ladies Embroidered Hand
kerchiefs, with a 1-inch hem, Np
at, each AHc
Ladies Corner Embroidered Hand
kerchiefs, in pretty floral designs,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
Partisan Ivory
For C;ft,

Every year these popular
ivory novelties, as well as use
full things, become more and
more popular. Our stock Just
now is unusually complete,
and prices are exceptionally
moderate.
Ivory Clocks -. .6oc
Pin Cushions .2sc
Nail Files asc
Picture Frames :. age to CSC
Puff Jars soc
Trays 49,. ACC to csc
Brushes 1850. $3.50 to $2.4e
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
Leather Goods

Leather Hand Bags, In all the
latest shapes. black, blue and
brown, with purse flt- CT m
ting; special value at. .UU
Vanity Leather Gases, made OF
fine quality feathers, entirely new
this season; splendid 90 or
gift at 90.LS
All-Lcather Hand Bags, war
ranted all leather, with purse and
mirror fitting; an excellent En
od6 at caCn ......... :. cON
Leather Hand Bags, with highly
poHshed gilt frames. with small
p p,, she new fold shape 81 90
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-12-14
HANDKERCHIEFS for Chr;.

Ladies Pure Linen Initial EO
Handkerchiefs, 8 in box. at . JUG
Ladies Beautiful Embroidered ES
Handkerchiefs, 3 to box, at CC
Ladies Irish Shamrock Lawn
Initial Handkerchiefs, each. 49,. ~
Ladies Embroidered Hand EO
kerchiefs, to the box, at -. OJC
Fine Linen Hemstitchcd Hand
kerchiefs, full size. at, each. go. CC
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
NEAT WINTER EVENING TRICK
Allow Person to Think Of Card and
Then Make II Appear Where Com
pany May Decide Upon.

To allow a person TO think OF a
card and to make that card appear at
any number In the pack which the rest
OF the company may decide upon:
After the cards have been thor.
oughly we'll shufied offer the pack to
one OF the spectators and ask
him 10 select any card he
chooses and to remember the
number at which II stands from
the bottom Of the pack. This done.
you offer TO make the card selected
take any position in the pack that the
rest OF the company may choose to
name. We will suppose the audience
to decide that they wish the card 10
appear at number eighteen. Careless
iy remark that II Is not even neces-
sary for you to see the cards. and hold
the pack either behind your back or
beneath the table, while you rapidly
count eighteen from the bottom of the
pack and place them on the top. Then.
producing the cards. you ask the audi.
ence to tell you the original number
Of the card. as you will begin counting
from that number.
Suppose they tell you that the num-
Der Of the original card was fourteen.
You commence counting, calling the
first card fourteen, the next fifteen.
the next sixteen. then seventeen. and
last Here, In order to make the trick
as impressive as possible. It would be
as we'll to pause apd say: Before
/ turn II owe will you kindly tell me
the name of the card selected?"
The card being named. you turn II
up, and, to their utter establishment,
the company ~perceives that It Is the
right one.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
NEWS @Me
YOUNG
PEOPLE
PAsTIME FOR YOUNG AND OLD
Swedish Paper Describes Interesting
oame TO 30 Played on ies--um-
plre 10 Needed.

A novel and interesting winter game
for young and old. described "a a
novelty by a Swedish paper. 10 played
a. follows:
Two poles Of convenient height are
erected on the ice: II skating On q
shallow pond they may be driven
through the Ice and into the ground.
but II the water 10 deep. holes must be
bored through the Ice and the poles
will soon freeze solidly In them. A
rope II stretched between the poles at
such q height an Ia suited to the size
Of the players or as agreed on to make
the game more or less dificult, and on
this are strung q number Of pieces Of
board. A. each having a ring OF spring
steel. b. attached to its lower end. The
purpose OF the game 10 to run at good
speed btween the poles and catch a
ring On a spear. each player being en-
titled to make q certain number OF
runs, and the winner being the n
who can catch the most rings.
The spears may be made OF broom
handles tapered toward the end. and
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
MAN PREFERRED TO BE SHOT
Turold Orator Bound to Finish speech
Even n He Has TO shoot to
Hold an Audience.

A rather turgid orator. noted for
his verbosity and h~eaviness, was once
assigned to some campaigning In
mining camp In the mountains. There
were about fifty miners present when
he began. but when. at the q OF q
couple OF hours. he gave no sign OF
finishing. his listeners dropped away.
Some went back to work. but the
majority sought places to auench
their thirst. which had been aggra-
waited by the discourse.
Finally there was only one auditor
left-a dilapidated. weary-looking Old
fellow. Fixing his gaze on him. the
orator pulled out a large six-shooter
and laid 1t on the table. The Die TEL
low rose slowly and drawled out:
BE you going to shoot II co."
"You bet l amy replied the speak
er. I'm bound TO finish my speech.
even II I have to shoot to keep an
audience"
The old fellow sighed In a tired
manner and edged slowly away. say
ing as he did so:
We'll, shoot II you want to. | may
just as we'll be shot as talked to
death."-Tit-Bits.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
Player in Action.

with a shield made OF tin and attached
at a suitable distance from the thicker
end pattern c.. The line Is fastened
at the top OF one pole and run through
a pulley. ID. at the top of the other,
thence to a weight or line fastener.
Each player should start from the
same base line and pass between the
poles at such a speed that he Will
glide at least 100 feet on the other
side OF the poles without pushing him.
self forward by the aid OF the skates,
Twenty runs are usually allowed each
player. or ten players may divide into
two parties, playing n against the
other. etc. An umpire will be needed
to see that fair play Is maintained n
settle any disputes that may arise.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
Guaranteed.

A man who was greatly troubled
with rheumatism bought some red
flannel underwear recently. which was
guaranteed in every respect. A cou-
pie OF weeks later he returned to the
store where he made his purchase.
These Hannels are not what you
claimed them to be-" he said to the
clerk.
What Is the trouble with them?'
asked the clerk. Have they faded
or shrunk?"
Faded! Shrunk!" cried the pur.
chaser. Indignantly. Why, when I
came dow 1 to breakfast this morning
with one Of them on my wife asked
me:
"'Wh t are you wearing the baby's
pink &C raj necklace for?"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1913-01-24
RIDDLES.

Why are there three objections to
taking a glass of brandy?
Because there are three scruples to
q dram.
Why is a pretty girl like a locomo-
tive?
Because she sends on the sparks.
transports the mails. and has a train
following her.
What are the most unsociable things
in the world?
Mile stones, for you never see two
OF them together.
Why 10 the letter + like deathf
+. Because Il makes all fall.
When may q man be considered to
be really over head and ears In debt!
When he owes for his wig.
What 10 II that q gentleman has not.
never can have. and yet can give 70 Z
lady?
A husband.
What fruit does . newly married
couple resemble?
A greer pair (pear).
What n the difference between q
mouse and q young lady?
one harms the cheese. the othss
charms the kas.