davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

read in the papers the other day thar
Mr., James Hokus was no longer with US
on this mortal sphere.
NY eyes filed with tears as read. and
my conscience raised an accusing voice
/ did not kill Mr.. Hokus with an ak.
nor mix his tablets on him, but neverthe-
less my conscience accuses me OF being
his murderer and II will take long weeks
for me to get over the shock
Mr.. Hokus was the agent for fire.
proof paint. 1t was only fireproof when
the fire was half block away, but that
should not be held against him.
II he has gone where he really needs
a fireproof paint the misfortune is his
and he is suffering for il.
Mr.. Hokus rented room No. in our
skyscraper about six months ago. In his
letterheads he called it a suite, but he was
only following the example Of thousands
of other business men having a room SxlO
under the shingles.
He was a man of fifty, and he was be-
nign.
He carried a pennyroyal smile every day
in the week. and he belonged to no DO
Htical party, and never discussed ro'i-
gions.
While he did not hesitate to warrant
his paint fireproof, and to show a long
list of buildings it had preserved from
destruction, he was not a liar by nature.
He lied because he knew that all other
men lied, and that il he remained put
side the combination and stuck to =
truth he would be locked upon as a suS-
picious character. to be avoided. There
fore, he lied about his paint and other
things, but he was such plausible and
suaye liar that il was a Joy TO hear him.
The day that Mr.. HoIIus took possession
of his suite he sent me out to furniture
store to buy two stands for him-one for
his illustrated family Bible and the otter
for a specimen can Of his fireproof paint.
and when he got his room arranged there
was nothing to offend the most fastidious.
/ offered to buy at my own expense for
him to hang on the wall the motto:
Truth Is a Jewel" but he shook his
head and said:
You are a thoughtful boy, Sammis
but 1 am not in the jewelry trade. There
is no profit in ii"
The next day he sent for me, and when
j reached his room found him with the
Bible on his knees, and after he had
hidden me take seat he began:
'Sammis, 1 never had an office in a
skyscraper before, but my common sense
tells me that the elevator boy is a sort
of power behind the throne"
Yes sir
The agent rents and collects, but il
depends upon the elevator boy whether
you are made comfortable or not"
Just so, sir
He knows a bill collector from a man
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

| Your wife calls you fool for coming
to America.
If you owe somepody feefteen cents he
comes shumping into der shop to say:
Hans, I must raise ten t'ousand dol
lars in one hour or else go into bank
ruptcy"
"Vhen?'
You owe me feefteen cents und must
haf it!''
II can't pay"
Den sue you clear up to der supreme
courtp'
You may go into some cobbler shop
und find der eobbler whistling like some
lsrks and wearing a smile on his face,
hut doan' you be deceived. He has such
dark days sometimes dot he likes
street car to run over him und end his
life
Only shust last month 1 doan' haf no
work in my shop. und vhas feeling awful
blue, when dot corner druggist comes in
rnd says:
Hans, it vhas easy when you under
stand him. und maype can help you.
Did you ever read about Carl Coburg.
der grand opera singer?"
mo, neffer did
''VheIl. he vhas q great singer. He had
sooch a voice dot peoples almost went
crazy aboudt him. One day he puts or
his hat und goes oudt for a glass OF
beer, und nopody has seen him since.
Some folks pellet he vhas killed for his
money, und soTie pellet he vhas in lof
init princess und shumps into der river
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16
b O W S ER IS HONORED D
But There Is Sad Ending to 1t, However

, fallen foul OF a thrashing machine he
might have slightly resembled that cray
on; but taking him normally there was
not a familiar line. As Mrs. Bowser con-
tinued to look her eyes filled with tears
and she choked up.
''weIl?'' he asked after awhile.
IL can't say 1 like it," she half
sobbed.
but what's the matter?'
IT'S botch work.
what! WHAT he shouted in tones
it's botch work.
Nothing could be worse. There are
hundreds of school children who could
have done better. Even the frame Is a
swindle. II you paid so for IT you were
outrageously robbed. oh, why did you
let him do it?'
lyon stand here and talk like this way
about a work of art You dare to criti-
else such a work! You-you-! Woman,
retire to your room It's plain TO me
that YOU don't know art from oatmeal.
and I was a fool for showing you the
picture"
MIS-. Bowser gladly retired. and the
cat gladly followed. and Mr.. Bowser
was prominading up and down with a
red face when the door bell rang again.
He went TO the door to find a member
of the One-Drink Club on the steps who
had no sooner been invited in than he
said:
'T called to give you a warning. A
scrub of a sketchist named Parini Is
going about under false pretenses- He
claims that the club wants crayons OF
members TO hang on the walls and he
does both work and charges swindling
price. Look out for him"
"Hes-a scrub?" faltered Mr.. Bowser.
"a regular scrub"
And the one-Drink Club doesn't want
my picture?'
"Of course not You are hardly known
by name yet? Just turn the fellow down
II he comes around. Good night"
. Mrs. Bowser had heard all from the
top of the stairs. At first she thought
she would go down, but she did not want
to make ii more painful for Mr.. Bowser.
She heard him return TO the sitting room
she heard him talking to himself. and
then she heard a whoop and a crash. He
had seized that crayon with the eroic at
titude and a smash-and then he Jumped
all over Il and blotted II OF the face
Of the earth. By and by there was ST.
lence and she went to bed. 1t was half
an hour before ne came up. and he was
still breathing hard and carried the red
in his face. She counterfeited sleep, and
with a sigh OF relief he made ready for
dreamland.
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

because he can't get her. Do you see der
point?"
''Vhas It der poorhouse?'
Not at all. Der point vhas dot you
vhas der long missing Carl Coburg."
But how can ! be?''
"Shust as easy ash grease. Disappoint-
| ment in lof turns you against der world,
und you hide yourself avhay und be-
| come cobbler. It shall be in der news
papers tomorrow, und you vhill put on
clean shirt und prepare for a rush.
pellet more ash one tousand peoples
vhill come to dis shop in one day, una
in two weeks you vhas bigger dan der
aldermans."
/ don't like IL, und my wife don't like
| 1t, but dot druggist says he vhas my
| frendt und he goes ahead. 1t vhas all in
der papers next day. Der Dead AIife!
Carl Coburg, der Great Opera Singer,
Did Not Drown HIMSELF He Left der
| Stage to Become a Cobbleri' 1t yhas
| more ash two columns, und dot druggist
laughs und slaps his leg und says shah
| soon be a great man. ! put on a clear
shirt und sat down in my shop, und
pooty Queek a man comes in und looks
me oafer.
DO you want some cement patches for
10 cents?' I says.
'Tt is him! 1t vhas he!" he yelIs as he
waves him arms aboudt. Now may
heafen be praised dot you vhas alife"'
Don't make so mooch noise und wake
cop my dog" / says.
Z" But i can't help her. Oh. Carl, my
old und dear friendt. my heart vhas fun
OF happinessi For years and years der
peoples called us der two Dromois. und
we vhas like brothers. One day Won
mysteriousiy disappeared. und my heart
vhas proken. see dot piece in der pa
pers, und / hurry oop here. und 1 thank
hcafen dot 1 find my dear old chum aIife
und vhell!'
'Vhell, do you like some repairs made
to your shoes?" says /.
Repairs? Not biti shust come in
to see II you vhas my old friendt und to
kiss you on both cheeks. BY George, but
dis vhas der happiest moment Of my
whole life.'
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

Mr.. Bowser had been smoking and
playing with the cat, and Mrs. Bowser
had been reading. when she suddenly
said:
Look here. Mr.. Bowser. are you
thinking Of buying a flying machlne?"
''Of course, not" he replied.
Then, is 1t another patent fuel or
something to melt the snow off?''
Il had nothing OF that sort In mind"
You are not going to write a play and
take the leading part yourself?'
|. II could do both. but shan't."
NO more hogs or goats around here,
understandP'
When 1 want a hog or a goat shall
get one, but 1t may be years nrst. What
are you trying to get at, anyhow? What
idea Jumped into your head all of a
sudden?"
There's been something mysterious GO
ing on around here for several days"
she replied. You have worn a look as
If you had some great secret to con-
ceal."
II deny the charged"
There's been a long haired, wild-eyed
man hanging around TO meet you at the
gate. Mrs. Taylor also saw you with
him in a doorway downtown the other
afternoon, and she said you had your
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

Of honor cannot haf fallen so low. Come
down init der long green"
I can't do it neffer heard of YOU
'' DO you mean to tell me dot you don't
remember me-Signor GalliniT he yeIls,
! as he shumps around. Why. eaferpody In
der company calls US der siamese twins,
und we smoke der same pipe und eat
from der same dish. Don't try to play
dot game on me, Carl, but fork oafer
der CASH
nefer see you in all my life pefore, :
1 says, 'und II you don't go oudt 1 shall
pring policemans to gif you some coll
Iarr
Vhell, dot signor. he spits on his hands
und grabs me by der hair und slams me
around, und IL my wife don't come in nit
der broomstick maype 1 vhas a dead
mans. He goes avhay, but he says he
shall haf dot so II he Ifs one tousand
years, und shall be leetle scared all
der time. He vhas only gone when an
other man comes in. He vhas what you
calls some old buns. He haf red face,
a purple nose. und his eyes vhas crying
You neffer see sooch old clothes und hat
und shoes. / pellet he likes to strike me
for peer money, und so looks at him
und says:
"Nottlngs vhas doing today"
but you vhas mistooken," he says,
as he comes nearer. A good deal vhas
doing. und der best of all vhas dot haf
found my uncle und won't haf TO be
some buns no more
IF you haf found your uncle, Why
don't you go py him?"
II 1has by him. Uncle Carl, don't
you know your nephew, dot leetle poy
who used to sit on your knees und pull
your whiskers? Speak oop to me und
say you vhas glad. Stand opp till I en-
brace you six tines'
"Py golly. but 1 vhas no uncle to you. +"
says. 1T vhas my busy day, und /
like you to go oudt. don't haf no
nephews nor nieces, und you vhas In der
soupi'
"'Uncle Carl shall you go back on
your own blood? he says, as he cries
like a child. For fifteen long years i
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

heads together like two anarchists"
her own business he replied as he let
the cat drop.
But you were two miles from your
Office"
And suppose I was sixr'
''Mr. Bowser. II you get mixed up with
the bomb business don't come to me to
save you
BY thunder, woman, you are on your
head" he shouted, as he jumped up.
Me in the bomb business! Who the
devil do you think ann"
We'll, what is 1t, then? Unrou the
mystery. II 1t isn't bombs, what is t.?
Who is the long-haired mani"
Il hadn't ought to tell you a blamed
thing, but guess / will show you what
an idiot you are. That man is an ar
list"
IAN artist in murder?''
mo. ma 'am-an artist with the brush.
He also does crayon work"
And what does he want Of your"
And I'll explain that, too. You will
probably remember, IL you bring a tre-
mendous strain to bear on that brain of
yours, that / became a member Of the
One-Drink Club a few months ago."
Yes, 1 believe I do" she answered.
Il know there was drink in it, but
whether 1t was one, two or three i have
forgotten"
II haven't attended very regularly, but
it seems that 1 have made something of
hit just the same. The club desires
a crayon of me to hang on the walls of
the parlor."
But you never attended but one
night"
mo. guess not. but the members ap-
peared to be struck by what 1 said"
What did you say? You didn't make
a speech, and 1 think you came home
and told me that things were slow"
mo matter what I said" retorted Mr..
Bowser. with a nettled feeling at being
boxed up. The club wants my picture
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

wanting a barrel Of freproof paint"
AT first glance, sir
And he knows a process server from
a minister of the Gospel
TYou bet"
Not that ! expect to be served with
any papers, Sammis, but We are Just
talking in a general way"
Just talking agricultural statistics,
sir"
That's it-that's it, 1 see you are a
boy to catch on and will make your
way. Do you know that there are dread
ful women in this world, Sammis?''
I've read Of them in the yellow jour-
mails, sir
They live by blackmailing good men"
Gee! l hope 1 shan't get one after
me"'
Il hope so. too. Years ago I helped a
woman on a street car. 1t was an act of
courtesy that any gentleman would have
performed, and yet what followed?"
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

office. Instead of so disposing Of them
he licks on the proper postage stamps
and sends them on a-kiting. He would
rather you afixed them, in the first place,
but il you are busted or absent-minded
don't worry.
rs there another postmaster on earth
who will do this?"
And this:
Special Notice! It is a well-known
fact that Old Pap attends prayer meeting
every Thursday evening, and this is to
give notice that should he be wanted in
the checker or poker room to make up a
hand. there need not be the slightest hesi-
tation in sending a messenger after him
Instruct the messenger TO whistle a
bar or two OF Old Dog Tray in the ves-
thule, and Old Pap will make his sneak
and run all the way.
rs there another postmaster In Amer
lea that would do the same?
Trust Old Pap.
"Confide In him.
Let him be a father to you"
OLD PAP. PINKHAM.
CBest Postmaster on Earth)
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16

Some tears vhas in his eyes, und he
wipes 'em avhay on his coattails, und /
don't say nottings. In a leetle While he
stops crying und says:
Carl. maype you remember dot we
had some peesness together der day you
disappeared. You borrowed SIC Of me to
buy some hair oil, und. Of course, you
can't pay him back IL you disappeared.
1t vhas all right, however, und / take 1t
now
But 1 don't borrow SO Of you,' l
says.
"'AlasI but has my old friendt rnd fell
low singer pecome a liar? No; 1 cannot
pellet it, A man who vhas once der soul
The Washington herald., 1913-11-16
GOING EASY WITH jim.

| was talking with a lawyer in his offic =
in one of the mountain villages when the
door opened and typical native entered
He looked sharply at me, nodded TO the
lawyer. and sat down on chair with his
shotgun on his knees.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
GETS CHANCE TO
SUPPORT FAMILY

City Court was in session from 2
until 1916 o'clock today, and during
that time numerous cases were tried.
The last case called was that OF Mil
ford Matthewson. who had failed 20
comply with an order made on May
20 by the Court to pay Humane Agent
Stout SIS week for the support of
his minor child. Matthewson was
charged with contempt OF court today
but the case was continued until to-
morrow, the Court stating that II the
money owed by the defendant was
paid, he would be released Further
more the Court said that IL Matthew
son failed to pay weekly the sum
ordered, he would be brought hack
from Philadelphia. where he is em-
ployed
Matthewson today said he came here
on Saturday with $50 to pay Mr..
Stout. but had been arrested before
he could do so.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
MOTHER SAYS
DAUGHTER MADE
DEATH THREAT

Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel Sheldon. of No.
8 Mousley's Raw, appeared in City
Court today against their l9-year-oId
daughter, charged with breach Of the
peace Mrs. Sheldon cried as she told
her story on tho witness stand today
The mother said her daughter chased
her on Saturday night with d revclvers
saying she would kin her.
The father of the girl told Of having
trouble with their daughter for the,
last four years. He said she would
not obey her parents. The girl said
she wanted to leave home but her.
brothers always brought her home
again. The court told Mabe, she was
under her fathers care until she
was p years OF age. AS for leaving
her home. Judge Churchman warned
the girl against leaving her home
Humane Agent Stout said the girl
should not be allowed t. go by her.
self. The court thought so too. and
the case was continued until tomor-
row morning, when final disposition Of
the case will be made.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
PROSECUTION
MAY FOLLOW
LOBBY PROBE
This Indicated When Senate
Committee Forces Lauter-
bach to Waive I'M
munity
WITNESS ADMITS
SOME UNTRUTHS
By The United tr-ss.


WASHINGTON, July - Criminal
prosecution OF those concerned in the
impersonation OF congressman in connee-
tion with Wall streets lobbying is to be
Had if the senate lobby committee has
its way This was plainly indicated to-
day when the committee forced Edward
Lauterbach, New York lawyer, publicly
to waive immunity before it would per
nit him to continue his story Of his re-
iations with David Lamar, the wolf Of
Wall street"
Lautcrbach had an unpleasant time on
the stand Under fierce ire OF interro-
CATIONS by Senator Reed of Missouri he
was forced 70 admit that he had he'd
when he told Lewis Cass Ledyard, Nor
gan lawyer. that lie (Lauterbachl had
investigated the sentiment Of the Demo-
Gratis in Washington and knew they were
opposed to any real investigation OF the
steel trust. He also had to admit that
he had lied when he told Charles Steele,
OF Morgan and Company, that he could
answer with authority" that President
Taft was opposed to the steel inquiry.
Lauterbach wa grilled to such an ex-
tent that he became much confused and
frequently cOntradictcd himself The
committee established that he has been
almost constant communication with
David Lamar and the witness admitted
that before Lamar testified he had con
ferred with him.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
ROOSEVELT GOES
WEST WITHOUT GUNS
By The United Press.

By The United Press.
NEW YORK, July 7-Col. Roosevelt
left here today with his sons, Archie
and Quentin. for a two-months' vaca-
ton in the west. The time will be
spent in the wilds of Arizona and
the Grand Canyon. 1t was understood
that not a single gun was taken along
for the shooting Of game, as the trip
lis to be strictly a sightseeing adven-
Iture
The Colonel was not expected TO
leave before tomorrow and the state
ment of his secretary. Frank Harper,
that he left ahead of time to avoid
being disturbed" was taken to mean
that he wished to escape quizzing as
to his stand on the coming mayoralty
election. So far Roosevelt has not
committed himself as to his choice OF
candidate.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
FASHIONS AND FADS

The fiohu is again revived on
lingerie gowns.
Pink and blue is a favorite COM
for GUNNER.
Jabots of ecru tulle have cravats
of colored moire or taffeta.
The sac mentlet coates of lace and
tulle have much success.
Lightweight cloth suits are tim
med with bullet buttons.
Win fashions favor. and wear
butterfly on your hat or gown.
Some of the newest lingerie from
Paris is actually made of tulle.
New materials have butterfly oor-
ders in all its gorgeous colorings
Sashes of Powered mousseline de
sole are used on many lingerie cowns.
Hats are larger and the dropping
garden variety are most prominent.
Jackets of moire are worn with
skirts OF charmeuse or crepe de
chine
The suit of cloth has been replaced
by the semi-tailored coat suit Of
silk
With evening costumes, scarfs Of
Bohemian, chantilly and duchess lace
are worn.
A new skirt has a long oval side
panel weighed down by long silk
tassel
The most effective trimming on the
cotton crepe dress is the soutache
braid.
Some Of the new tulle ball gowns
for girls are trimmed with white
swansdown
Ostrich plume trimming is effective
~ introduced on many tulle and chif-
fon dresses.
For canoeing, the Balkan blouse.
belted round the hips, has replaced
the straight MILDLY.
Very smart long silk gloves are
elaborately embroidered or trimmed
with bands of lace.
Dark blue chiffon forms a charming
drapery over ivory charmeuse OF
crepon sole dresses.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
IRON FENCES
WOULD AID CITY
BEAUTIFUL PLAN

At the meeting Of the Board Of Health
this afternoon, the second movement to-
wards city beautiful most likely will
be launched. when the question OF pass
ing an ordinance providing for the abol-
ishng of wooden fences in the city limits
will be considered. Those who have had
the matter under consideration contend
that If such an ordinance were passed the
housewives would vie with one another in
beautiiying their yards. Il the same
manner the much abused rear alley
would be cleaned up and such sights as
small heaps OF ashes in yards would be-
come a thing OF the past.
Mayor Howell. the Board of Health
and the directors of the Street and
Sewer Department, have started
movement to clean up all vacant lots
about the city. The move towards
abolishing unsightly wooden fences
would tend toeliminate the dirty yard
problem.
The matter was brought the at
tention OF Alexander j. Taylor, city
engineer. and member of the board,
by Or. G. Anthony Beck, former
president OF the Board of Health.
The idea was accepted by MIR. Taylor,
who will bring the subject before the
board today
In speaking of the yards in the
residential sections Of the city az
present. Or. Beck said: "In my travels
through the city | have observed the
lalleys and yards and without an ex-
ception where small iron railing
fences exist, there is no filth Of any
sort Instead, the yards are lowered
lby plants Of all kinds; the alleys on
which they abutt are kept clean and
the lids on the garbage cans are
lclosed
Another advantage" Or, Beck add
led, "of having iron fences between
houses prohibits one from maintaining
n nuisance in the form of a garbage
lean next TO the neighbors' dining room
windows.
Il personally know of one case where
such can is kept within twenty feet
of a neighbor's dining room windows
Around this can the flies gather in
swarms, all Of which tend TO disease and
annoyance
Several members Of the various de
partmcnts have considered the question
and are agreed that il the Board o.
Health declared wooden fences detri
ment to the public health they coulc
pass a rule permitting the erection O
such fences in the city,
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
FINE TWO YOUTHS FOR
STARTING SMALL RIOT

Louis Fidance and John Bernardo.
youths who participated in a small
riot at Sixth and Scott streets on
Saturday event were fined $40 and
costs each on a chorge OF assault
and battery in the City Court to-
day. Ralph Bernardo. accused with
the two. was dismissed, It being
shown that ne was one of those as
saulted while acting as a peace
maker. Frank Cagliano. who vas as
saulted, said he was playing ball on
a lot there, when the two men as
saulted him.
Miss Lou'ec Santora. John Springer
and several others told Of seeing
Fidance and Bernardo hit Cagliano
nardoSpringcr said he hit Fidance
and Ralph Bernardo during the
melee.
Alfred Fidance called as a witness
4 by the defendants said he hit Gag
! liano in the cheek with a pan.
Evening journal., 1913-07-07
ARGUE CHANCE,RY
SUIT OVER HOTEL

In the Court of Chancery today re-
turn was made on a rLie on a pre-
liminary injunction restraining H.
Rosenheim, ct. al, from selling the
Delaware City Hotel. Harry J.
stoeckle and the Joseph Stoeckle
Brewing Company filed the bill two
weeks ago after the hotel had been adj
vertised for sale by Sheriff -urris. The
bill showed Max Chilinsky and wife
purchased the hotel from r. Delbert
Aiken. They save a mortgage to
Eliza Belle Pattson Of Philadelphia,
for $1,000. In July, 1907 this mort
gage, with interest. was paid off,
total Of S1S237.50, BY Harry j. Stoeck-
le. Subsequently, Chilinsky is said 70
have executed another mortgage for
81, 500 to Rosenheim and Son, of Balt-
more. The claim OF Harry ]. Stock
le and the Joseph Stoeckle Brewing
Company is that the other mortgage
holders have prior rights in the prop
erty.
Harry Emmons represents the plain
tiffs and j. Harvey Whiteman ap-
peared for the respondents. The chan
cellc~ held the case under advise
ment.