The Washington herald., 1913-01-26
tCopyrirht By the BoSbs-Mernn company.)

Copyright. by the Bobbs Merrill Ccmpany)
1t was half-past six when L entered
Martins from the Broadway side.
chose a table by the north wall. and sat
down on the cushioned seat. ! ordered
dinner and the ample proportions Of 1t
completely hoodwinked the waiter as to
the condition of my cardiac affliction;
being as was, desperately and hopelessly
and miserably in love. Old owls say that
a man cannot eat when he is in love-
He can If he is mad at the way the OBJ
ject of his affections has treated him:
and I was mad. To be sure, I cannot
amount of the walters check is still
vivid to my recollection.
l glanced about. At my left sat a
young man about my own age. He was
also in evening dress. At my right a
benevolent old gentleman, whose eye
glasses balanced neatly upon the end of
his nose. was deeply interested in the
Law Journal, and a pint of mineral wa
ter. A little beyond my table was an
eXiled Frenchman, and the irritating
odor of absinthe drifted at times across
my nostrils.
With my coffee 1 ordered a glass of
Dantzic and watched the flakes of beat
en- gold waver and settle; and presently
] devoted myself entirely 10 my own
particularly miserable thoughts.
To be in love and In debt, To be with
the gods one moment and hunted by
bill collector the next! To have the
girl you love snub and dismiss you for
no more lucid reason than that you did
not attend the dance at the Country
Club when you promised you would! 1t
did not matter that you had a case on
that night from which depended a large
slice of your bread and butter; no. that
f1f n mt T# all
4 dashed hard world. How the deuce
do you win a girl, anyhow?
Suppose, besides. that you possessed
a rich uncle who said that on the day
of your wedding he would AXE over
TO you fifty thousand in government
three per cents. Hard, wasn't it? And
suppose the girl was independently, rich.
Heigh-ho!
find that a man needs more money
in love than he does in debt. This is
not to say that ! was ever very hard
pressed: but 7 hated to pay ten dollars
''on account when the total was only
twenty.
And now it was all over.
I did not care so much about my
uncle's gold bonds. but l did think a
powerful lot of the girl. Why. when
] recall the anoyances I've put up with
from that kid brother of hers!
Pshaw, what's the use?
His mother called him ''ToddyOne-
Boy" in memory of book she had read
long years ago He was six years old,
and never think OF him without that
jingle coming to mind:
Little Willie choked his sister.
She dead before they missed her.
Willie's always up 10 tricks
Amt he cute. he's only six.
Hadn't he emptied his grandma :
medicine capsules and substituted cot
ton? And hadn't dear old grandma
come downstairs three days later. say
ing that she felt much. improved?
Hadn't he beaten out the brains of his
toy bank and bought up the peanut
man on the corner? Yes, indeed! And
hadn't he taken my few letters from
his sisters desk and played postman up
and down the street? His papa thought
il all huge joke till one of the neigh
hors brought hack a dunning dress
makers bill that had lain on the said
neighbor's porch. 1t was altogether a
different matter then. Toddy-One-Boy
crawled under the bed that night, and
only his mothers tears saved him from
q hiding.
All these things I thought over as l
sat at nv table. Well. ! would go up
to the club. and if l didn't get home
till mOr-r-ning. who was there to care?
The Frenchman had gone. and the
benevolent old gentleman. The crowd
was thinning out. The Young man at
my left rose and l rose also. We both
stared thOuEhtfUlly at the hat rack. !
There hung two hats: an opera hat and
a diIapidated old stovepiPe The young
fellow reached up and. quite naturally, /
selected the opera hat. He glanced into /
II. and Immediately a wrinkle of annoy !
ance darkened his brow He held the
hat toward me
rs this yours" he asked
I looked a the label.
No" The wrinkle of annoyance /
sprang from his brow to mine. My |
opera hat had cost me S.
The Young fellow laughed rather lame
~. DO you live in New York;" he .
asked
! nodded
so do l." he continued. "and yet It
is evident that both of US have been
neatly caught" He thought for a mo-
ment. then frightened I'll tell you |
what: let's match for the good one
I gazed Indignantly at the rusty stove
pipe. Done said l.
I lost. knew that should: and the /