The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-29
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Laugh With Us
IAttle Stories That Have
Made Many 6Niles.

Jim was a new porter in the hotel
and he was putting in his first night
at his new and responsible position.
1t was 5 in the morning and SO far
Jim had done all he was told and
was getting OF splendidly.
Call II and l." commanded the
night clerk as he looked over his call
sheet. Jim obeyed.
After he had been gone for a con-
siderable time the clerk went I'M to
see If he had called the rooms desig-
mated.
Well" sighed the new porter.
whom he found on the third for.
I've got seventeen of EN- up. but I
vet"
He came in hreathlessly. hurrying
like n who bore important news.
"A butcher In the market dropped
sixty feet!" he exclaimed.
rs he dead? How did it happen:
Tell us about it,"
No. he isn't hurt a bit"
That's remarkable"
They were pigs feet"
De Wolf Hopper had a slight cold
one night. and in a curtain speech
.S w ~ ia III loSlIlOHs
II went to my DOCTOR" he said.
and the doctor said l had been eat
ing too much heterogeneous food, and
nus stop and cat farinAceous food.
Since then I haven't been eating at
all, for I don't know what either
word means"
II suppose" remarked Mr.. Brown.
now %aviators are becoming so nu-
rs nr0tyc n~5 1r> o1<oNv,
plane contests, that we nay expect
to see a weekly paper published in
their interests.
Oh" said Smith, there has been
time now"
Indeed! What is its name"
Fly paper"
a cultured daughter. home from
boarding school. had just been driv-
ing the fat and a%ntiquated family
had departed some years before.
Mamma" h called dainty
though in sudden alarm. II can't leave
Dobbin standing. raj II"
The matter of fac mother replied
briskly: You can. Unless he pre-
The doctor was cropping his way
through a. blizzard at 4 o'clock in
into a fellow pedestrian. To his as.
constituent he recognized the latest,
Q comfort loving negro in town.
Why. Uncle Pack. what are 9
doing about this time of night in such
a storm ?" exclaimed the physician.
Abs .bliged' to come after ma
mo dram. sah." explained the
cid rascal, d~eprecatingly.
Wen, uncle. if o are just obliged
don't You take 1t home the night be-
fore?" inquired the doctor. leniently.
"Ah does. sab. but it don't keep"
The assessor was doing the very
best he could. but the farmer was
shrewd and wary.
How many acres Of farming land
nave you?" he inquired. YEARLY.
twenty, l guess" said Reu.
hen.
Twenty! Why. it looks to me like
nearer 120. Come, now, can't Won
increase that a little? There are
surely more han twenty acres in that
tract. Suppose YOU stretch that a
little"
Say. Teller" said the farmer, this
amt no rubber plantation"
Mrs. Smith had asked Mr.. Smith
more than fifty times ESQ he said)
when he was going to varnish her
kitchen oil cloth. Finally, in des-
peration. one Saturday afternoon he
donned his overalls an went at 1t.
Monday morning it had not dried a
bit.
Something is wrong with tho var
nish. Henry. Where did you put the
CAM"
Il set it back on the cellar shelf"
depths of a newspaper.
She came back into the room pres
emily with the can and stood in
front of him ominously quiet, he
thought. so he looked up. She held
the can toward him.
Cant o read. Henry Smith
You vanished the kitchen oilcloth
with pure Vermont maple syrup
National Monthly.