Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-02-19
DE ENCHANTED HAT
Auaisry The Man on the Box 'The Goose Girl Etc
lC9pyrght, b tho Bobbs. Msrnn Company
BY HAROLD MacGRATH

completely hoodwinked the waiter
as TO the condition of my cardiac
affection being, as ! was. desper-
ately and hopelessly and miserably
in love. Old owls say that a man
can not eat when he is in love. He
can = be IS mud at the way the object
Of his affections has treated him; and
l was mad. To be sure. can not re-
call WAT my oruer was. but the
amount Of the walters check is still
vivid to my recollection.
glanced about At my left sat a
young man about my own age. He
was also in evening dress. At my
right a benevolent old gentleman.
whose eyeglasses balanced neatly
upon the end OF his nose, was deeply
Interested In the Law Journal and a
pint of mineral water little beyond
my table was an exiled Frenchman.
and the irritating odor of absinthe
drifted at times across my nostrils.
With my coffee / ordered glass Of
Dantzic. and watched the fakes OF
hghhEu HOiu n0NNi anu nEthtEt anu
presently devoted myself entirely 10
my owE particularly miserable
thoughts To be In love and in
debit To be with the gods one mo.
ment and hunted by a bill-collector
the next To have the girl you love
snub and dismiss you for no more
lucid reason than that you did not at
tend the dance at the Country club
when you promised you would II
did not matter that you had case on
thai night from which depended a
large slice OF your bread and butter:
no. that did not matter. It was all
over. 1t was a dashed hard world.
How the deuce do you win n girl. any.
how?
Suppose, besides. that you possessed
a rich uncle who said that on the day
Of your wedding he would make over
TO you fifty thousand in government
three per cents. Hard wasn't H.?
And suppose the girl was independent
ly rich. HoIgh-hoi
fnd thar a man needs more money
in love than he does In debt This is
not to say that was ever very hard
pressed hut I hated to pay ten dol
lars ION account" when the total was
only twenty.
And now II was all overt
! did not care so much about my
uncle's Eold-bonds, but did think
powerful lot OF the girl Why, when
I recall she annoyances I'VE put up
with from that kid brother of hers,
. pshaw. what's the use?
His mother called him To-day One
Boy" in memory OF a book she had
read long years ago He was six years
old. and I never think OF him with
out that Jingle coming 10 mind
little willie choked his sister.
She was dead before they missed her
Wti1e's always up to tricks,
Amt he cute, he's only six"
Hadn't he emptied his grandma's
medicine capsules and substituted cot
tom And hadn't dear old grandma
come downstairs three days later.
saying that she felt much improved
Hadn't he beaten out the brains of
his toy bank and bought up the pea
nut man on the corner? Yes. indeed
And hadn't he taken my few letters
from his sisters desk and played post.
man up and down the street? His
papa thought II all huge joke TIL one
of the neighbors brought back dun.
ming dressmaker's bill that had lain
on the said neighbours porch II was
altogether a different matter then.
Teddy one-Boy crawled under the bed
that night. and only his mothers
tears saved him lfon hiding.
All these things | thought over as
sat at my table. Well. would go up
20 the club. and IL | didn't get home
TIN cnr-rning. who was there to
care?
The Frenchman had gone, and the
benevolent old gentleman The crowd
was thinning out The young man Mt
my left rose and rose also We both
stared thoughtfully at the hat.rack.
There hung two hats: an opera hat
and a dilapidated old stovepipe The
young fellow reached mp and quite
naturally, selected the opera hat He
glanced into 1t. and Immediately a
wrinkle of annoyance derkened his
brow He held the hat toward me
is this yoursG" he asked
looked at the label.
No" The wrinkle OF annoyance
sprang from his brow to mine. My
opera hat had cost, me eight dollars.
The young fellow laughed rather
lamely. DO you live in New York :"
he asked
] nodded
so do L. he continued. and yet II
is evident that both OF us have been
neatly caught" He thought for mo.
ment. then frightened "11l tell you
what; let's match for the good one"
| gazed Indignantly at the rusty
stovepipe. Done" said /
lost. | knew that I should; and
the young fellow walked OF with the
good hat.
Angrily. | strobe up to the cashiers
desk and explained the situation. leay-
sng my address and the number OF my
apartment; my name wasn't neces-
sary
Troubles never come singly o.
J had lost my girl and my hat, to a.
of my temper The three
the most certain TO be found again. l
passed out OF the cafe hsreheadetl
and hot-headed. | hailed cab and
In. had finally determined
% return TO my rooms and study
Hang these old duffers who are so