davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
BISHOPS POINT WELL MADE
Rebuke to Which It ls Hard to See
How the Citrate Could Make
an Answer.

Bishop Oliphant Of LANDAU had a
well-to-do young man as curate who
had rather sporting instincts He
kept his own horses and always drove
tandem. The bishop disapproved, and
decided to administer rebuke on a
favorable opportunity. Both the bishop
and the curate, each thriving in his
own way, met near the historic Cow
and Shutters. The bishop, OF course,
was driving two abreast, and the cur
ate tandem, as usual.
81 really must protest" said the
bishop, "at your driving about in such
a manner"
well. my lord" said the curate
you are driving two horses, and SC
am l. What is the difference?"
After a few moments reflection
Bishop Oliphant replied:
IF, when you are at prayers at the
cathedral, the congregation placed
their hands in the same position as
you have placed your horses what
would become of the dignity and
solemnity Of the service?"-London
Mail.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09

Springfield, Mo-, Sept. 27-A family
feud which originated in the trespass
of chicken, and which has been
marked during the last few months by
numerous arrests on both sides of the
fence, eliminated here today in the
shooting of Mrs. Ira Patterson by Mrs
Ito Stedman, her next door neighbor.
Mrs. Pattersons' death within a short
time is certain, physicians declared to-
night. Mrs. Stedman has been arrested
on a charge of felonious assault and
her sister-in-law, Miss Evelyn Sted-
man, has been arrested for compile.
ity in the shooting.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
PREATTY NAMES FOR BOOKS
Real oId-TIme Titles Sound Decidedly
Strange to the Eye Of the
Reader Today.

The following are some Of the curl
GUS titles Of old English books:,
A Most Detachable Sweet Perfumed
Nosegay for Gods Saints to Smell
At"
Biscuit Baked in the Oven Of Char
ity. Carefully Conserved for the
Chickens of the Church, the Sparrows
Of the Spirit, and the Sweet Swal-
lows Of Salvation"
"a Sigh Of Sorrow for the Sinners
of Zion Breathed Out of Hole in
the Wall|of an Earthly Vessel Known
Among Men by the Name Of Samuel
Fish" IA Quaker who had been i'm
prisoned).
Eggs Of Charity Layed for the
Chickens of the Covenant and Boiled
With the Water of Divine Love. Take
Ye Out and Eat"
"The Spiritual Mustard Pot to
Make the Soul Sneeze With Devo-
ton"
Most Of these were published in the
time of Cromwell.-London Strand.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
GOV. ASKED THEY
PERJURE SELVES
so TEsTIFlEs NEW YORK STATE
OFFICIAL WHO GAVE TO THE
CAMPAIGN FUND.
SURPRISE TO SULzER FORCES
Morgenthau Says He Was Asked to
"Be Easy"-Conversation Said to
Have Taken Place in Sulzer's
Office in Capitol.

Albany, N. Y, Sept. 27-Gov. Will
lam Sulzer tried to persuade contrib
utors to his campaign fund not to tes-
tify against him, according to EVIL
dence at his impeachment trial to-
day.
He asked Duncan w. Peck, state SUI
perintendent of public works, who
gave $500 to the fund, to perjure him
self if he should be called to testify
before the Frawley investigating COM
mittee, Peck swore. The governor,
Peck asserted, told him that he, too,
would deny having received contribu-
tions.
This conversation, he said, was held
in the governors office at the capitol.
The witness was examined by John B.
Stanchfield as to the precise words
used by the governor.
What did he say?"
"He said, DO as | shall do, deny
it,"
What else was said, if anything?"
81 said, 4 suppose | shall be under
oath He said, That is nothing; for
get it."
Attorney Human, cross-examining
for the defense, asked Peck if it were
possible that he could have been mis-
taken about a single word that passed
between him and the governor.
mot word" Peck replied emphat-
ically.
Peck at the time of his contribution
held his present position, but told the
governor, he said, that there were mo
strings" to the gift and that he did
not feel that he was obligated I'd re-
appoint him. Peck was reappointed.
The governor asked Henry W. Nor
genthau, ambassador to Turkey, who
contributed $4,000, to be "easy on him"
and to treat the affair between us
as personal in the event that he
should be called to testify. This Mr..
Mqrgenthau swore to when recalled to
the stand today. He said the request
was made by the governor over the
long distance telephone on September
last.
The governors attorneys gave indi-
cations of being completely confound-
ed by the testimony of these two wit
nesses. None of them had the faintest
inkling, it was learned, that such
accusations were to be brought by the
attorneys for the assembly managers.
1t was further brought out that
Richard Hrnker Jr con Of the form or
leader of Tammany, had contributed a
$4,000 check payable at the request Of
Sulzer to the order of cash" and that
the check was cashed by Frederick L..
Colwell, alleged to have been the gov
ernor's agent in his Wall street trans
actions
The Croker check was one of several
unreported campaign contributions
that were the subject of testimony to-
day.
fled that last fall he drew a check
for $500, and sent it to Theodore w.
Myers. Mr.. Myers, he said, was the
treasurer of IAN organization of Mr..
Suffers friends, gotten together for
the purpose of promoting his cleo
ton"
This check, Attorney Kresel declar-
ed, VS. used for the purchase of
stock.
"Mr Myers said he would give ST.,
OO0," Cox continued. 81 don't know
whether he gave it or not. hope he
did"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Marked Similarity.

IF IL persons were to agree, to dine
together every day, but never sit In
exactly the same order around the Ia
ble," didactically stated the professor,
1T would take them 100000 years,
at the rate of one dinner day,
and they would have eaten more than
474, 100000 dinners, before they could
get through all the possible ar
fragments in which they could place
themselves.
Yep" snarled Uncle Pepys. THAT
would be nearly as many ways as a
a small boy rearranges himself during
a long ermon."-Judge.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
After a Pleasant Evening.

Mr.. Sydney Buxton told an anus
ing story for the purpose of illustrat-
ing a point at a recent dinner. A
certain convivial soul. who had been
invited to dine with friend, whose
house was at the end Of dark and
muddy lane, was advised to bring q
big lantern. After very jovial eve
ming the convivial one left and strug-
gled home through the mud, firmly
gripping his heavy burden by the
handle. Next morning he received
this message from his host: Here
with your lantern; please return par
rot and cage"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Plthx Postscript.

A striking illustration Of the say
ing that the pith of lady's letter is
in the postscript occurred in the case
Of a young lady who, having gone
out to India, and writing home to her
friends, concluded with the following
words "P. S.-You will see by my
signature that am married."
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Eight Die in Flames.

Quebec, Sept! 27-Eight children
of Uric Trudel, all under l6 years OF
age, were burned to death early today
as they slept in their home in St.
Francis street. Trudel, his wife, the
Oldest son. Antoine, and one daughter,
q baby, were rescued. They were bad
ly burned and Mrs. Trudel died later.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Wichita Directory
W', ,II ''I 1'!' III A\l
WRITE US Va
In. TURNER
WICHITA, KANSAS z y "a ID y
Quiet English Parish.

The tiny parish of Clannaborough,
North Devon, England, little village,
has population of only AZ, 80 that
baptisms, marriages and burials are
not very frequent. The other week
the first marriage ceremony for Is
years took place, but even then the
couple were not parishioners, the
bride coming from St Austell, the
bridegroom, whose home is at Ex-
mouth, being the rector's brother-in-
law.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Caution.

1t was the last day of his vacation
He had just finished carving her name
on the smooth bark of the birch tree.
Dear" he said, will you promise
to wait for me till came again next
summer
She looked up at him with the love
light In her eyes. Eyes, Henry" she
murmured
Then I'll cut my initials beside
yours"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
After the Premiere.

You're a gay kind of a friendl"
said Whimpler to Wigglesworth.
Laughing like hyena all through the
first act OF my tragedy"
Tragedy? Tragedy" echoed Wig
ellsworth. why, Whimper. old man,
l really was trying to help you'll !
thought all along the darned thing was
q very amusing farcel"--. ddge.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09

News item: "Grasshoppers stalled
Kansas train for 40 minutes" We
suppose they bit off the driving
wheels or kicked the fireman OF the
engine.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
ROBBED MINT OF $4,000.
Sack of Coin Reported Stolen From
U. S. Institution at San Francisco.

San Francisco, Cal, Sept. PA re-
port that the United States mint in
this city has been robbed of sack Of
coin said to contain $4,000 leaked out
tonight. superintendent of the Mint
T. w. H. Shanahan refused to con-
firm or deny the report and declared
that any information concerning It
must come from Washington.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
She Knew.

Bookkeeper-If I asked the boss to
raise my salary, what do you think he
would say?
Stenographer-Mr. Penner, l am a
lady = never even think such
things!
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
An Echo.

Susie (age six)-And when we grow
up we'll be married, won't we. Bob
bic?
Bobby (sadly)-No, Susie, can't
marry into your family. Your papa
has weak eyes and your auntie has
spasms.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
NOTHING To Il.

81 believe in calling a spade a
spade"
Guess you might as well. I've new.
err been able to pass one off for dia'
mond or heart"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
In Condition.

81 don't feel quite we'll, doctor. Do
you think l could go to a coffee party
this afternoon"
Certainly, miss. Your tongue is all
right."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Rejected.

He-Be mine and you will make me
the happiest man In the world.
She-Im very sorry; but unfortun-
ately want to be happy myself
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
His Idea.

Coed-I don't think clothes makes
the man!
College Man-Nor l. think 1t all
depends on the cigarettes he smokes.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Poverty of Idea,

Madeline-Why, Mrs. Benaway; are
you back?
Mrs. Benaway-Yes, dear; are you?
Judge.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09

An Oklahoma inventors corn plan
ter is light enough to be carried in
the hand. yet will SOW the grains
evenly and cover each with soil.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Mo contortlonIat.

Fat Man-Did you give them good
shine?
BootbIack-sure, sir. Look for
yourself.
Fat Man-IIl take your word for it
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Tommy's Hands.

Ma-Tommy, did you wash your
hands this morning7
Tommy washed one Of them,
mother. The other didn't need 1t.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
A Steady One.

There is one enterprise into which
everybody manages to get"
What is that?"
1.-THE directory"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
on,allays pain, cures wind collie Csc a bottle.AM
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
A Distinction.

Mrs. outertown-Isn't there a Mrs.
Skinner in this village who keeps
boarders?
HI Hubbel-She takes boarders,
ma'am; but she don't keep EN-
Puck
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
IzzesS0z'

The great principle of brotherhood
is not by equality, nor by likeness,
but by giving and receiving.-Ruskin.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1913-10-09
Innnnrtant 10 Mothara

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

fast when he Graves ham and eggs, griddle
cakes and coffee.
What knowledge of her duties and respon-
sibities has the wife who stays in bed in
the morning and lets the man arise at )
o'clock, get breakfast wash the dishes. and
sweep before he goes TO work, and when he
comes home let's him get supper, wash the
dishes, darn the socks, aud battle the baby
What complaint has she when this man
goes TO cussng and finally joins the great
class Of intermittent husbands and fathers
Is it any wonder the hard working hus-
band seeks relief in the divorce court from
the constant worry and grind caused by
wife who dresses away beyond his earning
capacity and refuses to lend hand in cur
failing household expenses by doing her own
work or even seeing that it is done properly?
The woman who knows nothing of cooking
or of home making has no right TO marry
until she is willing to share equally the re-
sponsibilitics of the home. The girl who
cannot cook reduces her husband to a per-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
Icopyrshti 1913. By Laura Jean 1isbey.l

Icopyrisht 1913: BY Laura Jean IAbbeyl
n n ARRlED life is not a path of roses
V by any manner of means. There are
briers and jagged rocks at every
turn. 1t is only those who know
how to avoid the brers and rocks that reach
the golden highway of domestic bliss.
1t is well for the world of single folks
that they are not familiar with the trials of
welded people or the girls would shrink from
matrmony and the young men would fee
from it altogether.
No matter how short their acquaintance,
no matter how ignorant they may be Of each
othefs habits tastes, training, and upbring-
ing most couples suppose that they are des-
iii ed for each other and that their skies will
be rosy always.
If all lovers carried out after marriage the
ieweled promises they made during court
ships blissful hours, and all women carefully
lived up to each and every one of the ex-
travagant promises they made at the altar,
there would be no broken homes, no courts
of domestic relations, and divorce mills.
That one can fall out of love almost as
readily as one falls in love has been proved
toe often to leave room for argument. A
woman may be desperately in love with a
man a. the time she weds him. But love
gets severe jolt if the nan sits compla-
Gently down. forcing her either to get out
and earn her bread or starre.
The man who tyrannzes over his wife
raises his hand in anger, and strikes her
destroys love with blow, and marriage be-
comes disaster.
An habitnal drunkard makes wedlock
lifetime regret FOR the woman who pledged
at the altar to love him and share his life.
The man who belongs to q dozen clubs may
hc jolly good fellow away from home and
be a growing miser at homie He make
life intolerable for the gentest and most
patient woman in the world.
The husband who allows himself to be
fascinated by other women makes marriage
mockery for the woman who bears his
nlmc and destroys every atom of the respect
and love she pledged him.
Lovers and sweethearts put their best foot
forward during conrtship. Consideration and
comfort for each other is uppernost in mind
and deed. But 30 per cent of the marriages
that fail fail because consideration and court
csy is discontinued. Love thrives not on the
indigestible food of neglect and discourtesy
1t withers and dies for want of the sweet
stimulus of courtship food.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

manent state of Indigestion which affects
his temper and even drives him to eat else
where. Usually this type has no knowledge
of money values. Tawdry fnery, moving
pictures, cheap novels receive the time.
money, and attention that should be put into
her household. Husband and wife cannot
but drift apart under such conditions, and
the situation always ends in complete
break.
If the husband wants pie 1t is the wife's
duty TO serve him pie If he provides the
money-not pie from the bakers, either, but
good, home made pie. If he likes onions,
even though the wife finds the smell of
onions most Objectionable, she should gve
him onions.
The first notes of discomfort may be
drowned in that divine quality tact. 1t is
the little chickering's which bride and groom
fall into that point to the parting of the
ways. And the Tactful bride and groom will
avoid these chickering's with a right coneep-
tion of the responsibility Of each to the other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

And that night, which was Thursday, she
told me to call again. on Saturday, which
did, and her brother-in-law came to the door
again and said she had gone out with her girl
friend. I told him to tell her that il she
wanted me TO call again she would have to
write TO me- Shortly after that I went to
another city and wrote her letter telling her
that l would call for my tokens when | got
back to this city. Now I have made the call
and find that still care for the girl Now
would it be the proper thing to do If should
write to this girl asking her forgiveness? As
have thought the matter over and find that
| was wrong in accusing her. e.
/ think you are very foolish wasting your
time and affections on girl who clearly shows
she doesn't care for you. | think you better
let her go. Your tokens to her. too. That's
the more dignifed way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
He Kissed Her at a Party.

Dear Miss Libbey: am 49, have kept
company with a young man three years my
senior, who once loved me very much, and
cared great deal for him. I never had kissed
any boy, excepting very near relatives, in all
my life and had been with boy friends since Is
years of age and never had any respect for a
person that would allow such privileges, but
one night at party he kissed me without my
permission and we had a quarrel which sepa-
rated us for quite while. Some time after
ward we were invited to attend a party to-
gether and made up Once he begged me
very hard to kiss him, but refused strongly
to allow it, but after a few weeks | did let
him kiss me once. All this time he knew l
never had done such thing before and that
he was the first and only boy l had kissed.
Some time afterward he asked if would kiss
him myself and allow him to put his arms
around me, but l refused and became very
angry at the insult. The next day he came to
my home and apologized to me il. a very nice
way and begged my forgiveness and to forget.
| forgave him, but told him I'd never forget
it nor care for him as / once had. week
afterward we broke up friendly, and havesnot
been together SINCE but have met at parties
and had friendly conversations l 60 with an
other boy a very dear friend of his. and he
has. gone away. ! think of this case often and
it makes my heart ache at what I've done. Do
you think he ever will have any respect for me-
again? | care for him yet. Do you suppose
we'll ever make up? l am a good girl and
would die before I'd do wrong thing and will
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

The broken hearted wife complains bit
terly, my husband came home drunk, ands
never dreamed he ever touched liquor" or
Ny husband is so jealous of me I'm afraid
to be seen speaking to the minister even."
Again, I" He has the most violent temper
he flies into rage over the least thing and
often ends by striking me- Or He is so
lazy; he will not do thing to help around
the house. | have to tend the furnace, shovel
the walk, and do all the housework and take
care of the children, too
Drunkenness, incompatibility, laziness, and
jealousy evils that try to the point of
nonendurance where marriages have been
based on a deep love. But where the ac-
ouaintance is so short as to allow of an in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
He 7" Hasn't AnvthinQ. "

Dear Miss Libbey: / am very troubled
man OF 10. My trouble is love affair. love
a girl very dearly and believe she loves me
and think she would be willing to marry me
now, but haven't anything, not even start
DO you think had better wait few years
until ! have more, or marry her now and both
of us try to make it? If don't get some adj
vice before long think shall commit suicide
! can't hit it much harder than did in this
world anyway. D."
What you need is a good thrashing instead
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
He's 81.

" Dear Miss Libbey: l little thought that
l would so soon have my own problem to solve.
| now come to you as disinterested person
for much needed advice. | am in my fifty
seventh year, in fine health, and my friends
say look younger; in fact, strangers usually
take me for about 45. have been widower
three daughters and three sons, all of whom
are grown and self-supporting / have never
given the matter of remarriage a thought until
a few months ago. when made the acquaint-
ance of young woman of 33. We became
friends and this friendship on my part rip
ened into love. The idea is not disagreeablc
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
Real Life Romances Offered Miss Lbbey for Solution

of the sympathy you are begging for. What
right have you to ask any girl to marry you
when you haven't sense enough to make any,
thing of yourself? My advice to you would
be not to spend any time thinking about such
cowardly thing as suicide, but get to work
and make something of yourself. And don't
think of marrying until you are earning
enough yourself to support the girl I'm al
ways bit doubtful of men who are willing
to solve the problem of keeping up home by
allowing the wife to go out to work. They are
despicable!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

had gone to school. She was uncertain as
to his age and had absolutely no idea to
where he was born or what was his upbring-
ing.
Yet she married him because they chanced
to be thrown together a few times and some
sort of an attraction sprung up. Simply be-
cause he asked her to marry him she delud-
ed herself into the belief that they were
destined for each other, and this fact alone
would serve to keep their domestic path
rose strevn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06
Short Acquaintance One Cause.

One of the chief causes of unhappy mar
riages is insufficient acquaintance on the part
Of the contracting parties.
How often marriage follows upon an ac-
ouaintance that is too short TO give the
couple the least idea of their fitness for ca ch
other or their fitness for their respective du-
ties in the home,
Letters come TO me daily from husba nds
and wives chatting under the matrimonial
yoke. In the recounting of their court
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-06

to her, and she frankly admits that were the
difference in our ages ten years less she would
welcome my advances. Her parents object,
but only on account of the difference in age
they have nothing against my ,haracter. She
is working woman. | am poor man with
nothing but my salary but | am able to sup
port her. Our mutual friends outside Of our
families encourage the idea o."
| do not generally approve of marriages
where there is such difference in age How
ever. sometimes marriages with as great an
age difference do turn out most satisfactorily.
1t depends entirely on the individuals I think
with a little persuasion you GOULD win the girl
Is There Any Harmo
s. Dear Miss I.bbey | have been corre-
spending with young man and also have
been going with another and don't see any
harm in it. But the one I have been going
with has asked and almost forbidden me to
write any more. He doesn't want me N
have anything to do with him. And also do
you think there is any harm in kissing Z
boy good night when you are not engaged?
90"
Unless you are engaged you are at perfect
liberty to continue the friendship OF other
men friends. | do not approve Of kissing be-
tween couples that are not engaged. young
man nspects young woman who respects
herself II her conduct is imprudent with
him naturally he will suspect her Of per
hitting familiarities on the part Of other boys
and he will look in another direction evoIV
time when choosing a wife.