The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-09-04

head Ike the horns OF g deer, ano
the more anguished you became in
an attempt to recover It, the more
OF a game Pat took It to be. The
bush was a sorry thing when you
finally did recover It. You had to
manicure It for a full fifteen minutes
before you could tell It from pea
brush. Then you replanted 1t: and
had to rake the whole bed to hide
your traces. Your particular Nem-
esIs must have been to ball game
or something that. morning; for 1t
mercifully came on to rain. Seldom
indeed did the elements conspire any
way but against you. Still, rain it
did, and you were saved, for the
subsequent death Of that rain-re-
freshed bush was a slow and some
what normal AFFAIR, and was at
tributed to blight.
Then the fearful afternoon when
you caught him trottlng to the lawn
with the hambone which was to
form the nucleus Of that nights sup
per what a soul-searing time you
had trying to trim that mangfed
bone back to some faint semblance
Of Its former seemly self; and the
horror you endured at tho table dur
ing the few tense moments that the
maternal eye studied that bone dis
npprovIngly; and the cool thankful
perspiratIon which, poured down
your spine when the maternal edict
was that no servant could be trusted!
The slippers you had to retrieved!
The chewed pens and pencils you
had to burn! The holes you had to
fill up! The footmarks you had to
erase! The meat and milk that you
we're forced to pilfer! The milk
matter was easy. though; for a tri-
fe Of water added to the pitcher
fixed that. But obtaining meat was
a harder Job. You endured all the
pangs OF a father Of family with
q strike ION" and the price Of beef
"up." You used to try sliding your
portion OF the roast to Pat at din
ner time, under the table: but he
exposed the combine by swapping his
Jaws gratefully together and slob-
bling an audible appreciation OF your
bounty. Then. of course. the AS
sembled Don'ts got In an lnterdtct.
And why? Wasn't It your meat.
once 1t was on your plate?
But they begrudged Pat every
thing, even his optimism. He could
not so much as wag his tall that
somebody did not make unpleasant
mention OF Heas-the inference be-
ing that Pat shook feas from that
amiable stump much as dew is scat
tered from a waving branch. Fleas!
Who ever heard Of such a thing?
Why, II you had been given five
cents each for every flea on Pats
whole body you wouldn't have bad
money enough to buy a bicycle-a
high-grade one, that Is. And a queer
way they had OF transferring the Cd
ium to you Of all that was repre-
hensible IN your pet You we're
made to feel that every solitary flea
was a plague spot due to your own
stained and mutilated soul; that had
you been fair and unsmirched from
your infancy up. Pat. would have
been flealess. The absurdity Of this
never struck you until 1t was years
too late. At the time, you felt that
It was all more or less probable.
Sins and their punishments were
mysteries together. You never quite
knew what everything was all about.
Such times as your conscience was
as pure as an Easter lily, some one
would box your head nearly off your
shoulders; and loads Of times when
you staggered and shuddered under
the knowledge of crime too awful
for words, somebody would give you
a penny for being good boy. You
never got PENN and ease OF mind
to enjoy It; never.
The only one who always under
stood you was Pat. II you were in
sorrow, answering sorrow would
would leap Immediately to his low
ing eyes, and he trotted faithfully
besides you with a gambol. He was
never ready for rabbits until you
we're. II you we're in fear, he heart
ened you. II you were for running
his legs were like lightning. II you
were happy. he was mad with de-
light. II you were sleepy, he would
drouse, too.
In bed at night. though. he was
but a mixed blessing. Undeniably a
companion and charm against bur
glars. nevertheless as bedfellow In
certain thoughtlessIesses which you
could gladly have dispensed with.
For instance, his initial dream was
always about cats and he would
chase them not only with aGonlzed
whispered barks but with frantic
running motion Of his hind legs,
which members, being invariably
plastered against your tender young
stomach, all but vivisected You.
Waking, very much ashamed Of him
self, he would wetly dab an apollo
getic kiss upon your cheek and drop
TO sleep again, Lulled, you slept too {;