The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1913-08-26
OLD GORDON'S
UMBRELLA
BY M. QUAD
Copyright, 1918, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

ed TO Dullc hog pen.
To build a hog pen you must have
lumber and nails. Both were to be
haG in the village, but when that point
was reached the old man cried out:
mo. stree! The last pound of nails
] bought of Smith he was three nails
short, and the last lumber | bought of
Jones there were seven knots in one
board. Ill show 'em that I'm not to be
swindled, Take the horse and buggy
and drive over to Acton and get what
we want"
1t was seven miles to the town
named. but Henry took the ancient rig
and set off cheerfully. In the back of
the buggy and unknown and unnoticed
by him was the tragedy. 1t was an
old Bingham umbrella. Just how old
1t was there was no authentic record.
but old Gordon had time and again de-
clared it was the veritable rain she'd
der carried over the head of General
Washington when he crossed the Dell
ware.
Old Gordon wasn't church member,
but he attended the Methodist services
regularly and was prompt with his
pew rent. On one occasion the minis
ter doubted the age and adventures of
that umbrella. and for the next two
years he lost the attendance of the
owner and $50 year pew rent
Henry Billings pursued his way to
the town of Acton with all the limo
cence of an unshorn lamb. On arriv-
ing there he hitched old Dobbin TO
post and went to see about the lum
Der. A stray COW was wandering about
the streets. and the idea came to her
to investigate the buggy. There she
found the umbrella She had never
tasted ghgham, and she took gin
gerry bite. 1t was good She hauled
the article out of the buggy and was
chewing the remains of it when Hen
ry returned Not knowing the pres
ence of the umbrella he did not chide
the COW. nor did he pick up the ribs
and handle and carry Them back. He
drove home whistling and was proceed |
ing to tell what a hog pen bargain he
had made when the father of his loved |
OHt TuliuluScu III Tue Dtith cLu Vi tuc |
buggy and cried out:
Where in smoke is that umbrella
"W-what umbrell"
my umbrell.'
Il haven't seen it."
"You are liar. 1t was in the back i
there to keep it from the rats. Where
is it?"
"Why. over at Acton saw a COW
chewing the rags of an umbrella, but
1t didn't occur to me that
"Oh, 1t didn'tr' shouted the old man.
"Well. femme tell You that something
else will occur to you right here and
now. Don't you ever darken my door
again.
OF course young Billings could not
force his way into the house against
the wishes of the father Every one
predicted an elopement. but none came
off The lovers met at intervals for
outside the house. but both
thought it better to wait for the old
man to wear his crouch out. More
than year had passed, and he show
cd no sign of giving in, when a tin
peddler came along one day who knew
and said:
IF you were smart you'd have had {
the knot tied long ago"
You know the old man, do you, and
how sot he is in his ways?"
"I'l bring the old man around as
slick as grease If you'll invest S."
Its a go!'
The peddler was in Acton the day Of I
the tragedy. He had picked up the
handle and ribs of the umbrella, cal l
culating to have new cover put on. $
1t took him week, calling from house
to house, to find a housewife with a
piece of old Bingham thrown away in =
he garnet, but he found 1t and had a
cover made of 1t.
One day the peddler drove up and
aid to old Gordon: r
II haven't come to ask you TO buy
inware. but it's case of conscience.
81 don't believe it, was the grouchy
'epIy. \
II stole your old umbrella out of the ! !
buggy at Acton" =
by thunder q
II am great admirer of Washing 7
on and wanted souvenir of him. but t.
ny conscience won't let me keep what h
stole. Here 1t is p
by John. but it's her" exclaimed "
he old man as he received and inspect u
d It. =
Same one stole. You can see that
here's w cut into the handle"
"Of course there is. I've seen 1t
lillon times. Washington cut it with
is own hand that winter at Valley
'orge"
And you'll forgive me?' h
Kinder. but not quite. 1t was RI
urned mean trick of yours. Going S
ITO the house?'
"I'll step in minute to see IL Sarah 81
ont want nutmeg crater" a
"Then you may tell her that there Il
re three fools in town-you for bring a
IL back the umbrella after You had
ot away with it; Henry Billings for
linking a COW chawed II up: me for :
'dering him out of the house And.
". tell her that If she and Henry are
Dt married within a month she'll be
lie fourth fool"
TURKS MAY NOT KEEP CITY.