Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-28
A NEW WAY OF SPELLING 1T

NEW WAY OF SPELLING 1T
ALTHOUGH William Rockhill Nelson,
"A editor of "The Kansas City STAR is
thereby the principal of one of the best
papers in the United States from viewpoint
of pure English and all that goes with it,
there are times when even he encounters
difficulties. 1t happened in this case that
spelling was the obstacle
Mr. Nelson lives in a castle at Rockhill,
Kansas City's most exclusive residence
section He has a married daughter. On
her return from recent European trip, Mr..
Nelson decided to give dinner, one of the
decorations of which was to consist Of inn
ported Japanese parasols, billed to him at
the office of "The Star
But the day for the dinner came round
and the parasols had not arrived. Afternoon
came, and Mr. Nelson left for home, leaving
orders that should the shipment come it be
rushed to the house in one of the newspapers
motor trucks. But the shipment did not
come, and no word of the fact was sent from
the Office. Shortly before the dinner Mr..
Nelson became nervous and went to the tele-
phone He got one of the assistant editors
on the wire and began asking about the be-
lated decorations.
But either Mr. Nelson did not speak dis
tinctly or the assistant editor could not hear
well, for no progress was made. After about
the fifth attempt to fathom what the owner
desired to learn about, the assistant editor
said
@I'm mighty sorry, Mr.. Nelson, but |
can't catch what you want. What's the
word?'
Mr.. Nelson tried again. No success.
am afraid you'll have to spell it" the
assistant said.
spell it," the owner asked. Certainly.
P-a-r-get that? P-a-r-o-" a pause; then
@1o
wrong with that spelling. He tried again.
"Pa-r-o-' again stop. Once more, pa
70" grunt or two; then, "Pa-r-o-
p-a-r-o-p-a-r-o-hell ParaSOlS!"
And the assistant editor understood.
cARUSO'S FAvORITE TUNE
oh, Signor Caruso," asked a gushing
- young American girl who endeavored
to interject as many Italian words into her
conversation as possible, what & ii rostro
favorite tuner
@Signorina, replied the great tenor, II
like the kiss waltz; but like to play it on
the mouth organ"
GOOD ADVICE
THE Sunday school was about to be dis
missed one afternoon recently, and the
members of the younger classes were already
in anticipation. They relaxed their cramped
little limbs after the long confinement on
straight backed chairs and benches. Then
to the dismay of all the superintendent rose
and, instead of the usual dismissal, an
nounced:
And, now, Children, let me introduce Mr..
NJ. who will give US short talk
The man introduced smilingly rose, and
after gazing impressively round the class
room began, well, Children, hardly know
what to say"
He had no more than uttered the words
when the whole school was convulsed to hear
small, thin, grlish voice in the rear of the
room lisp out, "Thay amen and thit down."
ANTICLIMAx
0F all forms of unconscious humor none,
- perhaps, is more genuinely amusing
than the anticlimax of men who feel it their
mission to be eloquent This peculiar form
of ridiculous speech prevails everywhere
especially among the officials of rural dis
tricts in this country. The following is an
instance:
police Justice in Southwestern State
was trying to impress upon prisoner who
was to testify in his own behalf the solemn
nature of an oath. Assuming his most
pompous, Dogberry-like air, the magistrate
thus addressed the man in the box.