The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-06-28
ABatch ofSmles

James Of Saying. II have went" bu'
the task seemed hopeless So, az q
last resort, she had him stay ate,
school and write twenty times On thu
blackboard, Il have gone home"
While h child was occupied, the
teacher left the room, and was still
absent when James finished the task
wrote
Dear Teacher have wrote what
you told me. and have went home
National Food Magazine.
A little girl came down to dessef,
her mother. This lady was much oe.
cupied in talking to her neighbors and
omitted to give the child anything &c
eat. After some time the little girl
unable to bear it any longer with
plate and said: Does anybody want
a clean plate?"
Pat got a job moving some kegs OF
powder. and to the alarm Of the fore
man was discovered smoking at his
work. Gracious" exclaimed the fore
man, do you know what happened
when a man smoked at this job some
years ago? There was an explosion,
which blew up a dozen men,"
That couldn't happen here" re-
turned Pat. calmly.
Why not?"
Cos there's only me and you," was
The reply.
You must find that impediment in
your speech rather ;nconvenient at
times. Mr.. Briggs?"
oh. n-no; everybody has his little
~Hn,,1;o~;$S
What is yours?"
Well, really. I am not aware that
I have any"
DIDO you stir y-your tea with your
right hand?"
Why. yes. Of course"
"W-well, that is y-your popularity;
most p-people u-use a teaspoon"
Young Raymond had been busy all
of the afternoon with his little pail
and shovel on the beach. Bedtime
mother undressed him. Then pray
ers were next in order, and by that
time he was almost in the land Of
nod.
Now, be a good boy. dear, and say
your prayers. Thank God for all His
goodness to you" His head had fall
len on her shoulder. Raymond" she
said sternly. as she shook him. you
cannot &c to bed until you have
thanked God for His blessings; for Etv-
ing @ a nice. comfortable home, and
a lovely beach to play on, and a
mother to love you. Think Of the
number Of little boys tonight who are
hungry and without a home and no
nice clothes to al and"
Here Raymond's interest became
roused sufficiently to protest sleepily:
Mother. / think them's tn fellers
that ort to do tn prayin.'"
Mrs. Duff Ito new maid)-But.
lily. Mr.. Duff and myself; why have
you set places for three?
The New Maid-sure, ma'am. if
was the cook that told me you had a
pianer player in the house.-Harper's
Weekly.
A boy who was passing the shop
thought he had found a job at last
when he saw a Sign in the window:
boy wanted" He went in and asked
the proprietor about II.
Yes" said the storekeeper. Il want
a good. bright boy to be partly in
doors and partly outdoors"
That's all right" said the appli.
bat what becomes Of me when
the door slams shut?"
An %ind;snant citizen. who had just
lodged three automobiles in quick
succession. was heard freeing his
mind at the four corners.
Why" said he, pretty soon the
will be getting up Z horn
code Tor the pedestrians TO commit to
something like this:
One toot-Throw q quick back
handspring for the sidewalk.
Two tcots-Dive over the car.
Three toots-Le down calmly; {.
is TOO late to escape. but we wiH go
over you Is easily q possible if you
very still.
One long and two short toots-I
Throw yourself forward ana We VII.
save both your arms.
One short and two long toots-l
Throw yourself backward ana one leg
will be saved.
-Four toots-It's all I'D With yeu.
we promise to notify your fam,