davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
Aalauroas department.

Who Was the Victim Senator Oh
lie James likes to tell jokes on his
friends and is responsible for the fol-
lowing one:
oscar Turner, and Judge James
Bennett were opposing candidates for
congress in Kentucky. They had long
been bosom friends and did not let
their political fight interfere with their
friendship. In fact they made the
campaign together.
"One night they rode up to farm
er's house and asked to spend the
night. It was too dark for their host tc
recognize them. AS they were unhitch-
ing their horses Judge Bennett asked
the farmer for whom he intended to
vote. .f
For Turner he answered prompt
ly, everybody around here's going to
vote for Oscar
"The Judge thinking to be funny al
the expense Of his friend. remarked;
am surprised at that. Why, don't you
know Turner Is drunk all the time! He
couldn't possibly stay sober long
enough to attend to the public ousi-
ness
Yes said the farmer, I've heard
that he drinks a powerful sight. But
we believe that he's got more sense
drunk than BENEFITS got sober!
Needless to say they never told the
farmer who they were, but they had q
great argument the next day as to
whom the joke was on"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

bright and their cheeks so red that
they couldn't really look homely In
anything they might chose TO wear. y
Again, far in the north, where 1t Is
freezing cold most Of the time, and
people dress to be comfortable and not
to look pretty, the women are actually
forced into trousers to keep warm.
The ancient women warriors always
wore trousers. But their reasons were
half masculine in manner and appear
ance, and dressed to accentuate their
qualities. They had to make themselves
into fierce looking creatures to terrify
the men on the opposing side, and
from all accounts they succeeded ad-
mirably.
AS for the stronger sex, there still
seem to be men in existence who wear
women's garb and enjoy 1t. In certain
parts Of Greece, Spain, and Albania
there are bands of desperate brigands
who, when they are decked out for at
tacks on strangers or neighbors, look
for all the world like grand opera bal
let girls, in their short, brightly color
ed skirts, which are made very full,
and sometimes even ruftled bit They
seem Tremendously proud Of their at
tire, and rival bands strive to surpass
each other In vividness of patterns and
newness Of styles. -
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

Loves Supreme Test.-"Nobody will
set out a woman's garbage can for her
but her servant, her husband or her
lover" This is not the persif1age of a
vaudevillist or the epigram Of q philos-
opher or the mockery Of cynic. 1t is
the grave declaration Of referee in a
divorce case where 1t was proved that
the defendant husband had not only
carried home groceries for the CORE
spondent, but had looked after the gar
bage pail.
Shakespeare classed the lover along
with the poet and the lunatic, because
they "are Of Imagination all compact"
The referee In this case classes him
with the husband and the servant be-
cause of a servitude absolute. The ar
gument Of the referee in support Of his
conclusion was quite simple. "A mans
affection for a woman" he said, lis
shown by his willingness to take trou-
BILE on her behalf, to do little services
for her. to do with willing hand that
which man not in love would deem
tiresome, troublesome and disgusting.
Then 1t Is not the champagne dinner
nor the lobster supper nor the auto
ride nor the diamond ring nor even the
sonnet nor the offer Of marriage that
constitutes the supreme test Of love.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

The Cross Standardization. Wal
ter Evans, United States judge for the
sixth circuit and western district of
Kentucky, has to attend to great
many Offenders against the United
States revenue laws. Recently he had
an old negro before the court for sell
ing whisky without license, says the
Popular Magazine. Uncle George had
been In Jail six months awaiting trial.
He was very long and thin and gray,
and generally dilapidated in appear
ance. The district attorney made out
q complete case against him. The old
negro had no attorney. iss
DO you want to ask the witness any
questions, Uncle George?" inquired the
court.
"Yassir, jedge; I'd like to ak a few
OBJ dat Niger ober dere," indicating q
small, chunky man, with coal-tar COM
plexion Whereupon Uncle George ner-
vously cleared his throat.
Say, boy. how's yo' MAJ"
Shes well, Uncle George"
.Ts de res of yo' folks well?'
"Yassir, deys we'll"
"Is yo' well?'
"Yassir, Use tolerble, Uncle George
'T b'lieve dat's all, jedge."
"Mr Clerk" said the court, "since
George has refuted so much or the
damaging testimony against him, we
will waive a fine In this case and just
give him six months more rest"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
Justice With venseanoe.-A bro
ker was talking about J. Pierpont Nor

Justice With vengeanee.-A bro
ker was talking about ]. Pierpont Nor
gan.
"The money trust investigation un-
doubtedly shattered him." the broker
said He believed that this investiga-
ton was unfairly conducted. He liken-
ed 1t, in my hearing to horse-steal-
ing trial out west.
"A jury was gathered in the street,
he said, and shut up in room, after q
brief trial, and when an hour had gone
by, a mob burst in and unceremonious-
" demanded what the verdict was.
"'Not guilty. said the foreman.
\ THAT won't do!' said the leader OF
the mob fiercely. You'll have to do
better than that And he shut the jury
up again. .-. .r. -...
"In half an hour the door was open
ed once more.
"'Well, gents. your verdict! said the
leader.
"Guilty,' the foreman replied.
There were hurrahs from the crowd
and the leader said:
Correct You can go now. We
strung him up an hour ago."-Los An
geles Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
NO GAMBLERS AT PANAMA
They arc Shipped az Fast as They Ar
rive,

Uncle Sam cares not only for the
physical welfare of the canal diggers
on the isthmus, but also for their
morals and their pocket-boo Recent
travellers to Panama had an interesting
illustration Of the pains that Uncle
Sam takes in these matters.
On board the ship bound from New
York to the Canal Zone and few
other places was man whose free and
easy manners attracted the attention OF
his fellow travellers even before 1t was
discovered that several youths who
played cards with him late at night In
the smoking-room usually went to bed
poorer than they were before. When
the final port was reached the men Of
the passengers assembled by request
in the smoking-room for what was
called medical inspection before land
ing.
The inspection was not unpleasantly
rigid, but when the suspicious passen-
gers turn came he was asked to step
aside for a later examination. He took
on an indignant air at first, but yield
ed without much fuss, and again pre-
sented himself when the other pas
sengers were disposed of. The inspect
ing officer then took from his pocket
an official-looking paper, and said:
II have orders from headquarters
that you are not to be permitted to
land"
The detained passenger flashed up
bit, clustered a while, said few things
about his inalienable rights as an
American citizen, but was met by the
quiet advice to be quiet, and the assur-
ance that all resistance would be vain.
You must go with me to quaran-
tine" said the officer, and go the angry
passenger did.
Next day accommodations were
found for the man on fruit steamer
bound north, and he had the pleasure
of doubling his voyage without making
acquaintance with anybody on the
isthmus who was disposed to risk
money at cards. 1t was explained by
the health officer that the authorities
never knowingly permitted profess
sional gambler to land In the Canal
Zone. The presence Of gamblers is re-
garded as detrimental to the efficiency
tho foroa -NoW Vorlr Sun
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
1.-THE wETTEsT STATE"
Effect of Woman Suffrage Feared by
the Liquor interests of Montana.

Effect of Woman Suffrage Feared by
the Liquor interests Of Montana.
In a recent issue we published por-
tions Of a letter written by the Mon
tana Protective association { Of the
liquor interests) to Detroit firm
which manufactures steam fixtures
sometimes used in barrooms. The let
ter was a request for funds to wage
the campaign against woman suffrage.
The funds not being forthcoming, a
further more frantic appeal has been
received from the liquor interests. It
reads:
"Our state legislature has just clos
ed it's session and our association has
been very successful in defeating many
measures which would have harassed
the trade in Montana. 1t has been q
difficult task, for Montana, like all
other states, is feeling the effect Of the
great reform wave which Is sweeping
the country. The battle we have been
fighting during the last sixty days has
depleted our treasury, and we are not
through 1t. Besides this, the great
question of woman suffrage will be
submitted to the electors at an early
date. We are now preparing a state
wide campaign against woman suf-
frage in this state because the leaders
have avowed that one Of the principal
reasons why they desire women to vote
is that it will afford them the best
means Of sweeping the saloon business
out Of Montana. Our local retailers are
doing all they can, but the burden Is
too heavy for them to carry 1t alone,
and 1t is only right that those who are
enjoying and making profit from the
sale Of their goods should help US in
conserving for them their accounts and
business"
Woman suffrage and reform, reform
and woman suffrage, the agents OF
evil find 1t very hard to distinguish be-
tween the two. They are firmly and
mistakenly convinced that when wo-
men have the ballot, the success Of the
liquor interests in defeating measures
which harass the trade in Montana"
will be brought to an end. What the
decent Independent voter Of Montana
has evidently failed to do, the women
will. All women are not paragons Of
virtue and wisdom; far from It; "the
Lord made them to match the men,"
but there are certain ancient evils,
chief among which Is drunkenness,
against which women have fought and
worked and prayed since time began.
Suffrage Is a weapon, and the first
thing that women will do with 1t will
be to turn 1t against the world-old en-
emy of the home-Collier's Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

Strange Fish.-Fred Dumont Smith
of Hutchinson, tells that he was fishing
once in Lake Killarney. The only evil
dence he found Of the finny tribe was a
rumor circulated about that Brian Nc
Carthy, or a man Of some such name
had captured a salmon there along
about $50 B. c.
But Smith determined to fish any
way, and hired a guide to show him the
good places. He fished quite while
and got not even a nibble.
Guide, are there any fish In this
lake?" demanded Smith.
"Lashins iv them" was the prompt
reply.
ANY trout?"
"Shure"
ANY bass?"
"Shure."
ANY croppies?"
"Shure."
ANY thermometers?
"Shure," responded the guide. but ir
a confidential tone. "Shure, lots "
them. If yer wor here in March ye't
see them lapin' all over the lake"
Smith decided to wait until March.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

The Horse laush.-He was raw
recruit, just enrolled in crack cavalry
regiment and paying his first visit to
the riding school.
"'Ere's your 'orse,' cried the in
st-uctor.
The recruit advanced, took the bri-
die gingerly, and examined his mount
with great care.
What's it got this strap round 1t
for?" he asked, pointing to the girth.
WELL" explained the instructor,
you see, all Of our 'orses ave a keen
sense Of 'umor, an as they sometimes
ave sudden fits of laughter when they
see the recruits, we put them bands
round 'em to keep 'em from Dustin
their sides '"-EXchange.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

An Old One RetoId.-"They thought
more of the Legion Of Honor in the
time of the first Napoleon than they
do now," said a well-known French
man. THE emperor one day met an
old one-armed veteran.
where did you lose your arm?" he
said.
"'Sire, at AusterlitZ.'
"'And were you decorated?'
mo, sire
Then here is my cross for you;
make you chevalier.'
Your majesty names me chevalier
because / have lost one arm! What
would your majesty have done had
lost both arms?'
"Oh, in that case I should have
made you an officer in the legion
"Whereupon the old soldier imme-
diately drew his sword and cut off his
other arm"
There is no particular reason to
doubt this story. The only question is,
how did he do it?-Everybody's Maga-
zine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
SEXES CHANGE ATTIRE
Places Where Women Dress ss Men,
and Vice Versa.

Places Where Women Dress ss Men
and Vice Versa.
There are places in the world where
women dress in mems clothing and
men don women's apparel.
Even in Paris there are women
dressed in cheap, coarse, masculine at.
tire. working as teamsters and day la
borers. While 1t is against the law
the police wink at the fact and allow
them to earn peaceably their daily
wages.
In Persia, in some of the interior
parts, the women wear the strangest
oldest trouser garments. They seem tc
like them. too. from the fact that they
cling to them in spite Of all efforts tc
make them don feminine attire.
Then there are the Alpine dairy
maids who dress as men when they &c
about their work and look pretty. Il
we are inclined to take evidence from
the numbers Of men who yearly per-
suade them to cast of their masculine
dress and put on more clinging cos
tunes. But then their eyes are 80
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

Scents Of Justice.-A gentleman
visiting a Jail noticed a colored man of
his acquaintance whom he had never
known to be guilty of wrong doing.
why, Jim, what are you here for?''
he asked.
Il don't know, suh," replied the ne
gro.
We'll, what have you been doing?"
"Nothin' tall, suh-nothin' tall, sub. u
What made 'em put you in here,
them"
well, dey sez, boss, 1 wuz sent up
fur fragancy."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
GOOD BEEF

l7 When YOU want STABILIZED
MEATS, Call on or Phone the CITY
MARKET. You'll get 1t here, az we
HANDLE NOTHING BUT STALL
FED BEEF. Choice Steaks and Beef
Roasts at all times. re
HAMS AND BACON 81 a.
Just received fresh shipment Of
|BONELESS BOILED HAMS, CURED
HAMS and BREAKFAST BACON.
My, but these are good, and this is
the economical way to buy Hams.
We sell you just what you want-A
single pound or ham, or a single
pound or whole piece Of bacon. In
this way you eliminate all waste and
buy just what you can use. The
quality OF these meats Is the BEST.
CALVES AND CHICKENS.
We will buy all the good, fat Calves
and Hens that are delivered at our
market, at the market price. until
further notice. Also will buy all the
Butter and Eggs we can handle. l
Yours for quality. Fst
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
MONEY TO LEND

ON Improved Farms in York coun-
" ty, repayable In five easy, annual
installments. Interest: Seven per
cent IL loan Is $1,000 or over; eight per
missions. G. e. SPENCER,
78tjun29 Attorney At Law.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

~ Engraved Calling Cards, Script
Istterins, 100 for $1.s5, at The Enquir.
Or Office.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
Sweet Potato Slips

I am now booking orders for the
Famous NANCY HALL and NEW
TRIUMPH Potato Slips, at S2.00 per
1000. All orders filed as received.
Will begin deliveries April 18th. Place
your order NOW. and give date want
ed. Orders for 1000 and upward de-
livered anywhere in the State FREE
at prices quoted. Do 1t NOW.
Before you buy anything In GRO
CERIES, get my prices. I have the
Goods, the Quality and the Price. !
want your business and will always
give you q Square Deal.
J. D. HOPE
SHARON : 8. @.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
The best proof. Read it:

lIs - p
The best proof. Read 1t: b
Mrs. W.. L. Wallace, California St,
Yorkviile, 8. c., says: 'rDoan's Kidney
Pills have been used in my family. be-
ing obtained at the York Drug Store
and the results have been satisfactory.
A member of my family suffered from
dizzy and nervous spells and her back
and head ached. Her kidneys did not
do their work as they should and no
doubt caused all the suffering. Doan's
Kidney Pills gave Immediate relief"
For sale by all dealers. Price. 30
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States. 4i
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other. !,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

W Send The Enquirer your orders for
Commercial Printing.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29
POSITIVE PROOF

should convines the ersatest skspsio
r,.,.,i5 In Yorkville. 1;
Because It's the evidence Of a
Yorkyille citizen.
Testimony easily Investigated.
The strongest endorsement Of
merit a-o rgf, N-Ir-s..s- ~ /. n IL
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

In a family where I lately spen
some days on a visit, / observ.
ed a very remarkable instance Of
the untoward management Of two chill.
dren. Young master Is a boy of strone
ungovernable passions, Of no mean ca.
pacity, and an open, liberal temper
add to this the disadvantage that he 1:
brought up to the prospect of a great
estate. The girl Is of surprising natur.
al parts, but pettish, sullen. and haugh'
ty, though not without a considerable
fund of native goodness. Both of then
are excessively INDUCED by their par.
ents. The father, who jumped into the
estate by means of his relationship t
wealthy citizen, Is a strange, ignor.
ant, unpublished creature; and having
had no education himself, has little no.
tion Of the Importance Of one, and i:
neither anxious about theirs, nor med.
dies in it; but leaves them to the
chances of life, and the ordinary tracl
Of training up children. The mother, 6
woman Of great goodness, but wht
never had any of the improvements o.
education. Is, you may very we'll be-
lieve, but little versed in the arts o
forming young minds; yet she think:
herself qualified by her natural sagaci'
ty, of which, indeed, she has consid
erable share, for directing and manag'
ing her own children. But though sh,
were better qualified than she is, hel
immoderate fondness would battle th'
incest management. Her son is her ia
vourite, in whom she sees no faults
or, If they are too glaring to be hid, sh'
winks at them, and If any Of the fam
lily, or friends, complain Of them to he1
she is always ready to put the faires
colouring on them, and to ascribe th'
complaints to some unreasonable par
TALLY or prejudice against her darling
boy. The young gentleman, finding
himself so secure Of mammals favour
takes all advantages, and stretches hi:
prerogative to the utmost. The ser
wants of the family he disciplines will
his fists and feet; and uses stranger:
who come to visit the family with the
most indecent familiarities: some HI
calls names, others he salutes with 6
slap, or pulls off their wigs. or treads
on their toes, with many such instances
of rough courtesy. He Is indulged, anG
(if l may use the expression) trained
in the love of money. 1t Is made the
reward Of doing his task, and the enc
of all his labours. His pockets are gen.
orally full; at least money Is never de-
MED him, when he either coaxes ol
cries for 1t: and indeed I have seer
him do both with great dexterity. He
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-29

| taught 10 esteem the song anu luc
dance some Of their meanest talents,
because they are often forgotten In ad-
vanced years, and add but little to the
virtue, the honor or the happiness of
life.
| Phronissa herself was sprightly ana
active, and she abhored a slothful and
lazy humor; therefore she constantly
found some inviting and agreeable
employment for her daughters that
they might hate idleness as mis-
chievous vice, and be trained up
to an active and useful life. Yet she
perpetually insinuated the superior
delights Of the closet, and tempted
them by all inviting methods to the
love of devout retirement. Whenso-
ever she seemed to distinguish them
| by any particular favors 1t was gen.
orally upon some new indication OF
early piety or some young practice or
self-denying virtue.
They were taught to receive visits
in forms agreeable to the age, and
though they knew the modes Of dress
sufficient to secure them from any.
thing awkward or questionable, yet
their minds were so we'll furnished
with richer variety that they had no
need to turn TO those poor and trivial
topics to exclude silence and dullness
from the drawing-room.
Here I must publish it to their hon
or, to provoke the sex to imitation,
that though they comported with the
fashion in all their ornaments so far
as the fashion was modest and could
approve itself to reason or religion,
yet Phronissa would not suffer their
younger judgments 80 far to be i'm
posed on by custom, as that the mode
should be entirely the measure Of all
decency to them. She knew there was
such a thing as natural harmony and
agreeableness; in the beauties Of col
or and figure, her delicacy Of taste
was exquisite; and where the mode
ran counter to nature. though she In
dulged her daughters to follow 1t In
some innocent instances. because she
loved not to be remarkably singular
in things Of Indifference, yet she took
care always to teach them to dis
tinguish gay folly and affected ex-
travagance from natural decencies,
both in furniture and In dress; their
rank in the world was eminent, but
they never appeared the first nor the
highest in any new-fangled forms OF
attire. BY her wise example and In
structions, she had so formed their
minds as to be able to see garments
more gaudy, and even more modish,
than their own, without envy or wish
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-09-19
ST. JOSEPH. MO.

On Saturday at 3 p. M, the 9th
inst, Mr.. Ralph Hayes and Miss Ce-
lestial Simms were united in the holy
bonds of wedlock by the Rev. J. n.
Brooks at the home of the BRIDES
parents, 1926 Patee street. Only
their relatives were present to wit
ness the ceremony. We, with their
many friends, wish them success and
happiness.
Our public schools opened Monday,
September 9Th, with an enrolment
larger than last year. The only
change among the teachers were Miss
Blanche De Boe is now a regular
teacher and Miss Sadie Oglesby, sup
ply, and B. T. Perkins is principal at
Douglass and w. H. Jones at Lincoln.
Mr.. Clarence Hum spent his an
nual vacation in Nebraska and Colo
RADIO.
We are glad indeed to see another
Afro-American appointed in the pos
tai service in this city. Mr.. Charles
Hargraves began work as mail car
rier last week. +..- y
Mr.. l. F. Ramsey, our undertaken
lost his valuable bird dog He said:
~ am sure poison was the cause OF
his death" 81. 4