The citizen., 1913-10-03

mind that when I find the right one
I'll marry her, but I'm agoing to De
dead sure that she is the right one. |
amt agoing into 1t blindfold. | don't
buy no pig in no sack, me-
THAT sounds like sense I saysr
4 don't say that it is sense, but 1t
sounds like it. How are you agoing
to find out?'
by using my eyes and my judg-
ment,' he says. I amt been applying
of them in that direction afore, but
I'm going to. It's pipe! Amt at
every kitchen door all times o day?
Well. here's the way I'll find out.
She's got to be neat and clean her.
SELF to begin with. | don't want no
sloppy wife. Well, it amt going tc
take me no time to find that much out.
Same way with the way she Keeps
things. step in to fix a winder
ketch or something and take notice
whether the floor is scrubbed an
whether there's grease on the gas
range. throw my eye on the sink
and squint up at the ceiling for cob
webs If the look of things amt sat
isfactory. cross her off right there
and don't waste no more time.
THE next question is whether
she's a hustler, says Bill. IF she's
up and busy bright and early it don't
take me long to get hep II the shades
is down at her bedroom winder at
half-past seven, count ME out right
on that proposition. If she's singing
at her work she's got a cheerful dispo-
siion II see the cat scooting every
time She picks up a broom, nix cn
that Not any! Then I've got to find
out how she stacks up on the eats.
How? Easy. notice the garbage
can when 90 TO empty it. If there's
mess of scorched cakes and maybe
the half Of a roast and lot of stale
bread and 4 peck or so OF oatmeal like
there is IN some. it don't take no Sher-
lock Holmes 10 iigger out that she'll
waste about as much as her husband
can make and send him TO the hos
pital with stummick trouble. No sir,
the less garbage there is, the better
her chancesll be. says Bill. Not
when you've got the opportunities that
you've got around a fiat building
We'll, says /. that sure sounds
like sense. And it is sense. That's
why I'm giving you the tip, Nels. You
take little less notice of Hilda or
Helga or whatever her2ame is and
little more Of what she sets out for
you to empty You've got the same
opportunities that Bill had.
What kind OF woman did Bill
get? Why, forgot to tell you about
that. One day he come to me look
ing pleased and told me that he'd
found the right one. A fine, good-look-
ing girl she was Cook and general
in II, where the Greenwalls are now.
Always had on a clean dress and
apron, Bill said; kitchen as neat as
pin, up at six sharp, sang like blessed
lark and no waste. Me for her says
Bill. It's just as easy to pick good
one as a poor one. he says.
Go to her. says l. And he did,
the very next day The only trouble
was. though, that she didn't fancy Bill.
and in fact she throwed dipper of
hot water over him and told the ice
man and the iceman wiped up the
alley with him and Bill got so mad
that Just TO spite EN- he married a
girl that was Just leaving her place at
13 that he hadn't investigated. Now
he says the best thing a feller can
do is to keep his eyes shut. When
he's married. anyway.
so there it is, Nels, concluded the
janitor as he got down from
the railing ITS all very well for
man 10 be careful about taking his
pick, but he's got to be in shape to
stand inspection himself"