davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
COULD POINT TO ONE VIRTUE
Husbands Comparison of Wife's Ciea-
rette With Himself Gave Her
Opportunity for "Shot."

President A. Lawrence Lowell of
Harvard said at dinner in his honor
in Chicago:
Early marriages are the best. 1t
Is neither good for the man nor for
the community that he should wait
until he is twenty-eight years old be
fore marrying"
President Lowell paused a moment
and then, smiling, he continued:
Another trouble about late mar
riages is that the mans habits-his
bad habits-are formed, and it's hard
to break him of them. You know,
perhaps, the story of the cigarette?
"A man of the old-fashioned manly
man type-the soft, full-stomached
type that drinks too much, belongs
to too many lodges, and must be su-
perior to woman in everything-this
man took umbrage over his wife's
cigarette, the one modest cigarette
that she took after dinner, though he,
Of course, smoked like a chimney all
day long. And so he said one eve
ming:
81 believe you think more of that
nasty, poisonous cigarette than you do
of me, your husband
well, DEAR his wife replied, smil-
ing and blowing a cloud, I can keep
my cigarette, you know, from going
out
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

The sweet young thing was being
shown through the Baldwin locomo-
tive works.
What is that thing?" she asked,
pointing with her dainty parasol.
That" said the guide, lis an en-
CINE boiler"
She was an up-to-date young lady
and at once became interested. And
why do they boil engines?" she in
quire dagain.
ITO make the engine tender" po-
litely replied the resourceful guide. -
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
STRONG WORDS
From a Doctor With 40 Years Expo
-ience.

I'm my 40 years experience as a
teacher and practitioner along hygienic
lines" says Calf. physician, Il have
never found food to compare
with Grape-Nuts for the benefit of the
general health of all classes of people.
Il have recommended Grape-Nuts
for a number of years to patients with
the greatest success and every years
experience makes me more enthusiast
tic regarding its use.
Il make it rule to always recon-
mend Grape-Nuts, and Postum in place
of coffee, when giving my patients in
structions as to diet, for know both
Grape-Nuts and Postum can be digest
ed by anyone.
LAS for myself, when engaged in
much mental work my diet twice day
consists of Grape-Nuts and rich cream
! find it just the thing to build up and
keep the brain in good working order.
In addition, Graps-Nuts always
keeps the digestive organs in a per-
feet, healthy tone" Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich.
Strong endorsements like the above
from physicians all over the country
have stamped Grape Nuts the most
scientific food in the world.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
Made Daddy GASP,

A certain small Chicago laddie is
quick-witted as initiative, and so given
to considering himself as quite an
adult in comparison with his baby
brother, that he now and then talks
and acts in manner that might by
the uncomprehending be judged i'm
pertinent Not long since at the fam
lily table the boy attempted to relate
a recent experience. His father. who
was talking, paid no attention, and
the childs anger got the better of
his politeness. Raising his voice
shrilly and speaking with an absurdly
unconscious resemblance to his ia
theirs tone and manner under similar
circumstances, he demanded:
Papa, will you kindly close your
little trap for just one moment while
] get in a word"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
CHAPTER x.

~
~ UENoS dias. Senor." Carara
~ bowed politely TO Speed.
~ Woodworking again"
~ said waIly.
~ Turning to the trainer.
IN Carara eyed him from top
&a&\N TO toe, removed his ciga-
~ rette, and tipped the ashes
daintily from It; then.
smiling disdainfully, said:
"Buenos dias, Senior Fat!"
Glass started. You talkin' to me?"
Yes" Carara leaned languidly
against the wall, took a match from
his pocket, and dextrously struck it
between the nails of his thumb and
finger. He breathed his lungs full of
smoke and exhaled it through his
nose. Il would have spik to you bif-
fore, but the Senior Fat is-he
shrugged his shoulders-'frighten so
bad he will not understan'. Sol
come back"
Who's scared?" said Glass, gruffiy.
Carara turned his palm outward, in
gentle apology.
You been talk a greet deal to my
Senorita-to Mariedetta, eh?"
"Oh, the Cuban Queen!" Glass
winked openly at Speed. Sure! l
slip her laugh now and then"
she is not Guiana, she is Next
cana" said Carara, politely.
We'll, what d'you think of that! |
thought she was a Cuban" Glass be-
gan to chuckle.
"Senor Fat" broke in the Mexican,
sharply, while Larry WINGED at the
distasteful appeIlation, she is my
Senorita!"
rs she? Well, l can't help it if
she falls for me-" The speaker cast
an appreciative glance at his en-
ployer. And you can cut out that
Senior Fat because it don't go"
Then he gasped, for Carara slowly
drew from inside his shirt long,
thin-bladed knife bearing marks of re-
cent grinding, and his black eyes
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

Well hear from Culver soon, either
by wire or in person. He's never
failed me yet. But if were you,
Larry, I'd leave that Mexican girl
alone
Mary"
Yes. Mariedetta Now, there's
something to be afraid Of. If these
cowboys are in love with her and have
their eyes on YOU"
Come int"
Senior Aurelio Maria Carara en-
tered. He was smoking his custom
airy corn-husk cigarette, but his dark
eyes were grave and his silken mus.
tachios were pointed to the finenesg
of bristle
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
Whats wrong 2"

NnatS wrong!
DO you know what's goin' to hap
pen to me If Covington don't get here
and beat this cook?"
Happen to you?"
Yes, me! These outlaws have put
it up to me to win this bet for them"
We'll, Covington can beat any
body"
But Covington isn't here yet"
Not yet, but" The young man
smiled. You're not frightened, are
you?"
Scared to death, that's ALL" ac-
knowledged the other. Then when his
employer laughed openly, he broke
out at whitehead. Joke, Ell? Well,
you'd better have a good laugh while
you can, because Humpy Joes finish
will be a ten-course dinner to what
you'll get if Covington misses his
train"
How easily frightened you are!"
yes? Well, any time people start
shooting shots I'm too big for this
earth. The hole in gun looks as big
as a gas-tank to me-"
But nobody is going to shoot you!"
exclaimed the mystified college man.
They amt, hey? ! missed the
Golden Stairs by lip not half an
hour ago." With feverish intensity he
told his narrow escape from destruc-
ton, the memory bringing a sweat of
agony to his brow. And the worst
of it is" he concluded, I'm marked
with guns. I've always been that
way"
Tut! tut! Don't alarm yourself. If
Covington shouldn't come, the race
will be declared off"
mo chance" announced the train
er, with utter conviction. These
thugs have made it pay or play, and
the bets are down."
you know can't run"
'If he don't come. you'll have to-"
absurd! I shall be indisposed."
IF you mean you'll get sick, or
sprain an ankle, or break leg, or
kill yourself, guess again. I'm re-
sponsible for you now. Something
may go wrong with me, but nothin'
is goin' to happen to you. My only
chance to make live of it is to get
some one to outrun this cook. You're
the only chance I've got, if Culver
don't show, and the first law of ma
ture amt never been repealed"
"Self-protection, eh?"
Exactly" Glass coughed thrice
without result, stepped off the prayer
rug, rolled it up tightly; then, hug
ging it beneath his arm, went on:
That four-eyed guy slipped me a
whole lot of feed-box information.
Why, he's killer, Wally! And he's
got cash-register to tally his dead"
"Notches on his gun-handle, / sup
pose?"
80 many that it looks like his wife
had used it to hang pictures with.
| tell you, he's the most deceitful rum
my ever seen. What's more, he's got
the homicide habit, and the habit has
got its eye on me-" Glass was in
! deadly earnest, and his alarm con-
trasted so strongly with his former
contemptuous attitude toward the
cowboys that Speed was constrained
to laugh again
It's the most amusing thing l ever
heard Of"
YES" said the trainer, with elabo-
rate sarcasm, ut would be awful fun
ny if it wasn't on the square" He
moistened his lip nervously.
You alarm yourself unnecessarily
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
Quite Superfluous,

Mrs. Ellsworth had a new colored
maid. Cne morning, as the maid came
down stairs, the mistress said
Emma, did you knock at Miss
Flora's door when l sent you up with
her breakfast"
mo, ma am replied the maid, with
preternatural gravity. What was de
use OBJ e'knockin' at her do when
knowed To- sure she was in dar?"-
New York Evening Post.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
Local Expert.

Summer Boarder Gust arrived from
BOSTON, What are the six best sell
lers in this locality?
Farmer Stubblegrass-That depends
on whether you want to store perta-
tiers or cider in 'em.-Puck.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
That Soft Answer

oh" she said, your conduct Is
enough to make an angel weep"
Il don't see you shedding any
tears, he retorted, and his tact saved
the day.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
Not Dissipated.

Customer-Have you smoked beef?
Clerk-No, ma'am, nothing worse
than cigarettes.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

Love may make the world go round
but sometimes it takes marriages to
square it.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

Have you any books on fishing?"
asked the man entering the book
store
"Oh. l guess So" replied the clerk;
we've got lot of works of fiction"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

When a guest boasts of his hon
esty, keep an eye on your spoons.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
PAY Roll Wit.

Small Boy (crouched up over big
book)-Mother, what are the Wages
of Sin?'
Suffragist Mother-Anything under
So a week, my son.-Life.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

BOYS AND GIRLS become independent
Money making proposition for your spare
time Dept. ID, The Pauls Co., Harrisburg, Pa
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

AGENTS WANTED-New catalogue just out.
full of rapid sellers. Big profits Earn $25 to
$50 a week. Big premiums with order. Free
sample THE HOME SUPPLY co, 1906
Terrace Court Dept. 10, Seattle, Washington.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

WANTED-WOmen who want to learn the
Sex Secret" of perfect loveliness and ex-
quisite beauty to write today. Blue Ribbon
Face Cream Co.. 25 Yarmouth ST.. Boston.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

CLEAN YOUR HAIR AND SCALP the new
way: better than soap and water; stops
falling out; leaves the hair soft silky. fluffy.
Write for FREE SAMPLE. THE INN0VATE
COMPANY, Norton Bldg, Louisville, Ky.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
and withaI, easily digested.
There's Reason" for Grape-Nuts.

Sold by Grocers everywhere
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

Ladies', be beautiful, with slight exertion
you can by the OF our famous wrinkle
treatment enable to maintain a beautiful
complexion. send for sample. Hartford Mall
Order Co.. III Mkt. ST., Parkersburg. W. Va.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08
IN q TRHFFa Watson z. Colema n, Wash.
~ m 4 III A " ngton, C. Books free High
q "a . In " est references. Best resu!ts

COONH0UNDS AND NIGHT HUNTING DOGS - thoroughly
trained; free trial. Catalogue 100 pages ilus. cloth
pound 20c southern Farm COOnhound kenne semer
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-08

WE HAVE THE EASIEST selling goods.
Large profits Free catalogue. Sundry Supplies
Agency, I59 Anderson Ave. Wellington. n. j.
LADIES LACE CURTAINS absolutely
FREE. Our plan will please you. Write Dept.
Y, THE NlRCULM CO., Harrisburg, Pa.
w. N. w., BOSTON, NO. 32-1913.
The log cabin Democrat., 1913-06-06
MISS CONGER ENTERTAINS.

Miss Allie Merle Conger entertain ed quite a few friends this morning at Central College. The guests arrived at 8 o'clock and breakfast was served on the spacious veranda, which was bedecked with beautiful greenery in hanging baskets and pot-flowers artis- tically arranged. Following break fastfi rock was played at six tables. Miss Mary Wilson won first prize, gold bar-pin with the inscription, AS You Like It" engraved upon it. Miss Pauline Newborn won the guests prize, a beautiful embroidered hand kerchief. Miss Conger's house guests, the Misses Hamilton, were guests of honor.
The log cabin Democrat., 1913-06-06
PUBLIC SCHOOL PICNIC.

The students of the public school, accompanied by the teachers who will chaperone, are going to Rodens Mill tomorrow, where they will spend the day outing. All who desire to go are requested to meet at the public school tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock.
The log cabin Democrat., 1913-06-06
SUP AT LYONS FORD.

A party composed of Miss Allie Merle Conger and her guests, Misses Anna Lee and Helen Hamilton, and Messrs. c. H. Dickerson, George Shaw, Jr., and Ed J. Heiligers, enjoy ed a moonlight supper at Lyons Ford last night
The log cabin Democrat., 1913-06-06
Admission, 5 and 10 cents.
BRIDAL COUPLE MISS
 THEIR WEDDING TREAT
OTHERS DEVOUR DELICACIES FOR FORMER GONNA VIVIAN
 AND BRIDE.

Little Rock, June 6-One state house employe found a rousing well come awaiting for him Friday morn ing, when he showed up for work. E. Byron Harwell of the department of agriculture, quietly left Little Rock early in the week, and on "Wednesday was married at Huntington to Miss Grace Scott. The young couple ex- pected to reach Little Rock Thursday and take possession of a cottage the groom had prepared for the home coming, but they missed a train at Fort Smith and were delayed for a day. The employees of the agricul- tural department had feast prepar- ed for the newly-weds, but it went begging until other state employees turned in and ate it up. A genial re- ception has been held for the groom all during the day.
The log cabin Democrat., 1913-06-06

MT, Harwell was formerly a book keeper in the Faulkner County Bank of this city.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20
Florida May Lose
Four Players for
Stetson Struggle
By Tad

TAMPA. FLA, Nov. 20.-Coarsey.
Ramsdell, Ruie and Tennsy, star play
ers OF the University of Florida team,
may not play against Stetson Friday,
because OF charges OF professionalism
against them. Both Coarsey and Rams
dell played in semi pro city league
here last summer, Coarsey with Knight
& Wall and Ramsdel with the gas COM
pany team
Two weeks ago Claude Jones. for
mer Stetson football player. who played
with Knight & Wall. came here with q
man whom he introduced as manager Of
the NsldOsta baseball team He told the
managers Of the local teams that Coar-
sey and Rsmsdell with other local boys,
had chance to play with Valdosts IL
they could prove they had never draw n
more than 500 month. to bring them
into the Glass y limit
Ahidavits stating that neither OF the
boys had ever drawn more than that
sum were signed by the local magnates.
As matter OF fact. they claim the
boys did not draw anything for play
ing ball. Ramsdell was a meter reader
while Cuarsey lived at home
Jones. who got the affidavits, was
himself disbarred from Stetson for pro-
feSsiOualism. Alfldsvits setting forth
that neither Of the boys ever rot cash
for playing baseball have been made.
but all Of them are apt to be barred out
Of fridays game
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20
FOOD FOR SPORT FANS
~ GEORGE e. PHAIs.

The above epic holds good for all
manner OF skaters. u embraces the
ice you skate on and the Ice you put
in highballs.
Ivan Mamuton evidently fails 10 real
ze that the wrestler who tlirts with
Frank Gotch's tcehold generally puts his
foot in 1t.
HOBBY Baker is not relative Of Frank
Baker, but he has the same happy fac
atty Of busting In at the psychological
moment and splitting the beans
Selna shot by mistake for a deer
has it's drawbacks, but the ILLINOIS
gent who was shot for quail can
hardly be blamed il he turns over at
frequent intervals in his grave.
After long and varied experience
we have concluded that man is a
chump to go up North to be shot
when he can stay at home and be
half shot.
Garry Hermann believes that a
PLAYER who has broken the reserve
clause should be justly treated after
he has been hanged. drawn. quarter
ed and kicked on the left shin.
Mr. Hermann is one OF our abiest
opponents Of dollar diplomacy in
baseball He knows much about base
ball and all about dollars.
PLOOEN! PIOOEYl
The Hunters HOtc iriH pack Their guns
and seek the northern GOOD
And take shot at anything iCithia
the aei0hborhO0d
Ind some OF them ,ciH shoot the deer
that roam the countryside,
Bat most Of them rW oHig shoot the
meek and humble guide
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20
WINS
TITLE f TEAM
DEFEATS YALE
At Least Experts viii Declare
Them Champs-Situatoa Is
as Clear as Mud.
by Damon Runyon.

n AhLlSLE overwhelmed Dart
II mouth which scored touch
down against Princeton. and
Princeton held Harvard to a single
field goal
Yale tied with Princeton, after los-
ing TO Colgate. and moreover ont
played the Jersey iungalcers most of
the way IL We accept the expert tes-
timony on the subject
Washington and jefferson held Yale
to a scorcless tie and Washington
and jefferson defeated the Universit +,
Of Pittstlrg which holds decision
over Carlisle
Therefore, the football situation
with reference to the championship Is
Just rs clear Is mud.
lp 90 this writing the title belongs
10 Harvard. which has not PLAYED
Carlisle, Dartmouth Colgate nor
Washington and Jefferson, and which
VIII In no case play any OF the said
colleges because there Is reason TO
oelieNe that the football players at
those institutions are rude uucouth
ana maNhan shaggy persons who
might manifest a disposition 10 de-
pHNe Harvard nr her hardly won
laurels DID We say hardly won?
Well, let IL go-hardly won.
Harvard Claims Title.
The title belongs to Harvard unless
Harvard is defeated by Yale next Sat
urday which is thought that can
scarcely be tolerated in the hest cir
cles al Cambridge. Should Yale win
H.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20

SOME KICKING.
" no IS this here fellow BrickleB?"
II tC0s HfiHc lin trhO spoke.
why. his kicking il 50 siCblu
Nc is nothing but a Joke
81 can kick 'em inst as HedHU
Aitd a hundred times as hdrd,
For RE kicked mySeU completely
Out Of many baseball yaTd.'
No doubt the scribe who made a man
Sger out CT Zlm Will now proceed TO
finish the Job by performing the same
ooeratlon on Ping 5odie and Fred Mer-
kle.
protest against the rouahness OF foot
bali, il is a sion that he never has seen
crowd OF healthy lriShmen playing
that gentle game known as hurting.
One thtug that prevents Oliphsnt OF
Purdue from being a star Of the first
ma guitude Is that there is a rule EatLst
hitting in the cliuches
Looking over reports from the Pacific
Coast. Il is hard 70 tell whether Char
lie Comlskey or Bin Klein is runntuo
that world tour.
FOR EAST is EAST, ETC.
Young LoehlnVsr had come out OF the
mo use" no sighed discooselstely
They never VIII PICK me for the All
American team"
II the Badgers win Saturday, gam"
they viii be entitled To one third ot the
conference championship The remain
ing tNu-thirdS VIII be divided equally
between Chicago and Minnesota
atu,, p,nL. aware th,. he IA, NJ, -
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20
By Sam Crane.

w ITH the retirement of Bill
wv Dahlep from the managership
of the Brooklyn team big
league baseball loses one Of it's most
famous veterans, and one who was
contemporary with the most noted
players of the last generation.
Dahlen was brought out in 1891 by
Captain Arson. who secured him from
the Coblesleill (New York; Club, of
the New York State League, in the
fall of 1890, and put him on the
regular lineup of the Chicago White
Stockings the next spring.
Bill did not require another years
seasoning with any minor league club
when he Joined the White Stockings
he was ripe for the big league when
Arson secured him and he made good
with a rush from the start and filed
into the shortstop position made va
cant by the death of Big Ed Will
hanson. as if he, too was veteran
instead of youIgster who had never
seen a National League game in his
life.
remember OF seeing Dahlen play
ing second base for the Cobleskill
Club in 1890, and he impressed me
so much as a conner" that | tried
to induce Jim Mutrie. then manager
OF the Giants, to grab him, but Jim
and the Giants were then deeply tan
gled up with the Brotherhood and
Players League war and had Jack
Giasscock as their 5hortstop-and
that, together with lack OF funds, pre-
vented Jim from engaging the young
phenom.
Bill Became Josher.
Arson was tipped off to the pros
pective value of the upstate youth
and never regretted getting his name
to a contract except possibly when
Bill, as soon as he outgrew the hay
seed stage, developed his kidding pro-
pensities that have since made him
one of the foremost characters of the
diamond.
Arson was not much OF a fielder in
those days-but how he could whale
the ball. First basemen in those days
were not expected to cover much
more ground than they could be
buried in, and Arson was no worse
than the rest-but he was particularly
weak on thrown balls and didn't
like them.
1t was therefore. Bills delight, as
it was of other Chicago infielders,
while at practice. to endeavor to hit
Arson on his shins This would fire.
luently happen, and then there was
hot time for all hands. once, dur
ing morning practice, Dehlen sue
ceeded in hitting Arson on the same
shin twice in succession. The old
Cap. sore in mind and shin, chased
Bill around the Chicago West Side
Park on Harrison street with base
ball bat for a full half hour. Yowing
vengeance. Bill finally was obliged
to skin over the back fence to escape
his irate manager.
Bill didn't show w that afternoon.
| either-he went to the races instead,
accepting a fine rather than face the
angry Cap.
Joined Giants in 1905.
Dahlen was secured for the Giants
by McGraw from Brooklyn in a trade
that included Charley Babb and a
big money bonus, and Bill became a
Giant in 1905. II was largely through
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-20
Bill Dahlen Was Famous PLAYER
Started Career Under CAP Arson
By Tad

his splendid work that the Giants
won the championship that year. He
was on the wane after that, however
and was allowed to go to Boston In
the famous trade that included Dan
McGann and Frank Bowerman.
Bill was dissa tisfied in Boston and
finally succeeded in getting back to
the Brooklyn club, where he has
acted az manager OF the Superbas
with many ups and downs. He va,
never blamed by President Ebbets
for the poor showing OF the SuperbaS
the genial Charley blaming the fail
ure of the team more on injuries 10
players and other hard luck Incl
dents thaf to his managers incapac-
ity, and IN this he was upheld BY
many of he players who played IN
der him End other well-posted base
ball peopf: but Brooklyn fans have
been mailing a big howl for Bits
scalp, anf probably Ebbets was in
fiuenced by public opinion in Civ.
ing the veteran his release.
A Credit to Game.
Dahlen has been a credit 10 in.
game, although at times he "queered"
himself by the Objectionable way be
chose to mag" umpires and uselessly
delay games. He will, however, 90
down in the history of the sport as
one OF its most famous players and
characters
He will probably take up the man
agership Of some high-class minor
league club.
Connie Mack, Clark Griffith, FREQ
Clark and John McGraw are about
the only old timers of Dahlen's palmy
days who are now prominent in the
national game.