davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-10-17
Which are You?

The pessimst is man who carries his face in sling
and crouch up his sleeve in case of an emergency He
always has with him magnfying glass through which
to look for trouble He'll meet trouble half way any time
and if trouble chase himself out of breath try
ing to overtake it. The hurts his eyes The songs
of birds sound to him. like filing saw and laughter gives
him headache He grows and snarls and thus leads
dogs life He doesn't know who made the world but he
thinks it bum jab whoever did it,
He is happy unless he is miserable He is
about as welcome in company as the smallpox He car
ries bottle of vinegar one hand and cork in the
other and he goes about splitting the vinegar in his wake
lemon is sweet in comparison with him. The good
natured will go nine miles out of his way to avoid
pessimist
The pessimst always predicts disaster If disaster
happens he says: 81 told you qo' If it doesn't hap
pen, he ''Just wait, it will next time
If he ever had any smile of humor in his soul it has
turned to buttermk He belongs to the Worst-is Co.
ing-to- Happen-League." He is the mogu of the sun
shine Smashers and complaining secretary of the Wet
B anket Brigade.
An Optmist belong to the 30 Be Joyful Brigade -
He knows where there is bright side to everything and
ne strains his eyesight looking for it, No matter how
cloudy the day he says Cheer up the sun is shining
somewhere If he accdently gets an arm taken off, he
says: "Gee I'm glad it wasn't my headY' If he can't
sing ne whistles. You may knock him down. but he'll
never take the count If he make mistake, he says
Look at the experience got He has so many friends
ne can't count them. Everybody always glad to see
him come and srOry to him CO. He sheds trouble
ducks back sheds water When he sees you moping out
here in the sun--its greatP Instead of crying over
spilled milk ne foEgets it and resolves keep the lid
the milk can next time He believes smile is good
thing and for that passes it along You
him mile on and you're sorry when the echo dies away
he's not afraid of breaking his face. Rich or poor
SICK or we'll, full or hungry tired rested day in and
day out from one years end to the Othe the opmist
full OF JOY hope and cheer. Be optimist. Shake
your crouch Be happy while you're here Smile Friends
Smile. -Fraternal News
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-10-17
Why Men Don't Succeed.

The following from the Tacoma News tells very erse
~ the story of unrest aziness and consequent nefi-
cheney winch aict the world today producing the same
time higher cost of living and less ability bear it.
The American boy won't work. The boy of today
THINKS he can make living without WORKING quoting
MI HILL and isn't he the truthful James? The paragraph
appes With equal congruousness in large per centage
OF men, They are fitting thither and yon this job
oSV' at that tomorrow, masters of nothing definite
aim IN view, merely drifting Boys are much the same
quite naturally jumping about from task another
accepting every temporary advantage the wage but
making little effort to learn or even procure the
veneer of business knowledge
Last week there appeared in the News Office looking
for place as reporter youngster the down of whose
cheeks bespoke his years at 10 or 49,
Did you finish high schoo?'' he was asked.
''No-quit in the middle of the second year.
''Why.''
II wanted to go to work -
What have you been doing?''
. have had job in department store-sort of
shipping clerk
How long were you there?"
''About two weeks
''Where before that?''
Iron works Thought I'd learn to be moulder
How long you there?"
about month";
''Why did YOU quit?.'
We'll was offered 81 more week in the store .
Where did you work before you became moulder?'
Usher in theatre
''Why did you quit?''
Fired for being late. They're too strict
Where did you work before that?''
Let me see-ah, yes; was in-'s store -
why did you quit there?''
Mother said couldn't the long hours and out
door exposure was driving wagon"
Yes. Where did you work before that?''
1 was on farm little while in the early summer
but couldn't stand the work The hours were too long
Well, where were you employed before that?''
Messenger boy for telegraph company
"Where before that3''
Don't remember, I've had good manv iobs
what was your longest period of employment?''
We'll, about seven weeks
How many jobs have you had altogether?"
| never counted thsm-two dozen, i guess
Further questioning discovered the fact that ne had
quit several places where opportunity to wok mn
and become established plain because he could get
little higher wages in another business OF course ba
would not last long cub reporter for if there is apy
work under the sun which requires steadfast con
centratIon nd faith, it is the work of beginning
paper
There are hundreds like him, shifting about without
CONTROL if advice needless of the
words OF employers and blind to opportunity Out Of
such timber is buided army of Incompetence and from
IT is recruited the everncreasng flock of abirds for
incompetence often commits procure the where
"itha to float the bonds of deness The old apprentice
system had many advantages.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-10-17

Yes, we are in position to state positively that
Sam "son is candidate for governor having received
three personal communications to that effect from Mr.
Iverson himself.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-10-17

Local notices, five cents per line.
Card of Thanks, twenty-five cents.
Lodge resolutions, S1.00
LegalnotiCes at legal rates.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1913-10-17
THE MORRIS TRIBUNE

Advertising Rates-Display
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
GOOD DINNER DISHES
or MEAT or FISH, As THE FAM
ILY MAY PREFER.
Best Method Of Frying Chicken. Amer
lean style-eeef and Ham Pie
Msckerei. Cresned or Baked,
viii Be Found Excellent

Fried Chicken-Cut the chicken into
pieces for serving Boil In -four. or. II
preferred. In beaten egg and crumbs.
Heat one cup nice dripping or lard.
one teaspoon salt. and one saltspoon
pepper, lay in the pieces and fry
brown on each side. allowing not less
than twenty minutes for the thickest
pieces and ten for III. thin ones. Lay
on hot platter. and make a gravy by
adding one tablespoonful -four to the
fat, stirring smooth. and adding slowly
one cup boiling water or stock. Strain
over the chicken. MIX or cream may
be used instead OF water.
Stewed Oxtails-Cut the tails In
two-ineh lengths and brown In butter.
prepare brown sauce, season II well
and stew all slowly together for two
hours. Garnish with tiny milk bis
cult.
Beef and Ham Pie-Use raw ham
and dice both meats, line the dish
with rich biscuit. fill with the meat
and a high seasoning. about one-half
cup chopped potatoe. small bits OF the
crust. and one cup rich gravy. Bake
In moderate oven, and Just before
serving pour In a cupful or more OF
piping hot gravy.
Oyster Pie-Line vegetable dish
with mashed potatoes. Brush II over
with the white of an egg, and put :, n
the oven to brown lightly. Take two
dozen oysters, half a pint OF milk. one
tablespoonful OF butter, pepper and
salt to taste. Let 1t come to boil
and thicken with heaping teaspoon
ful OF -four and put into the space left
In the vegetable dish.
Creamed Salt Mackerel-Soak the
FISH overnight and wipe dry before
using. Broil on buttered gridiron
over a clear fire. Lay on hot dish
and pour over 1t a cream sauce made
as follows Into one cupful OF boiling
water stir two teaspoonfuls of corn
starch. rubbed smooth with one table
spoonful OF butter; cook until well
thickened. Add a well-beaten egg.
mixing carefully to prevent curdling.
Cook a moment longer. season with
tablespoonful OF chopped parsley and
a saltspoonful OF pepper.
Baked Salt Mackerel-Salt mackerel
are neither so plentiful nor as cheap
as they were twenty-five years ago.
but occasionally baked one fills the
demand for something different. Soak
the fish overnight In a large amount
OF cold water. with the flesh side
turned down. Wipe dry, lay in bak-
ing pan, add one cupful of milk and
set in the oven. Bake about twenty
five minutes. put on hot dish. butter
lightly and garnish with sliced lemon.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Bad Form 10 Be Amazing.

There are no posers on the grand
scale now. Our musicians have short
hair and play golf. Authors cannot
be distinguished from ordinary men.
Art students aro abandoning their
amazing clothes. Even poets have
given up poetical locks. and instead Of
writing pretty fancles worry us with
poems Of the outspoken natural school.
Music In In tweeds. literature is In
navy blue. and poetry IL In IA bowler
hat. Apparently there is no chance OF
my return OF affectatlon. The world
becomce more natural every day. and
every hour some neglected pose dies
n natural death. There are no startling
and picturesque figures. Tho glitter.
Ing Whistler was the last OF the artis-
tic masters to pose. the last man will.
Ing TO spend an hour before II looking.
glass. the last man-to use his own
word-who could be called amazing"
For now II In bad form to be amazing.
and every one liz expected to be as In.
significant ns possible. The only af.
fectation left IN the affcctation of be-
Ing natural And there could not be q
dullcr one.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
posts, Up or Down

The agricultural experiment station
OF Ohio has been making some tests
an to which end of post should be
set In the ground. Farmers generally
believe In planting II with the butt
or root end upward, on the principle
that. M II IL easier for the sap TO run
mp the tree than down II. setting tho
post upside down tends to prevent tho
rise of water and helps to keep tho
wood dry.
The Ohio officials planted i5G black
locust posts 20 years ago One.third
OF those set top down have rotted on
and only n little more than one-slxth
OF those set top up have met similar
fate. They reach the conclusion that
there Ia no difference which end IN
put into the ground. except that tho
soundcr or longer end should have
tho preference.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

leguminous crops. II we wish to
make the greatest success raising
hogs. We must grow cheap crops Tor
the hogs to Craze.
The following is taken from bulletin
No. iO7, by Prof. J. W. Fox. from the
Mississippi delta station; I'VE wish
to call particular attention TO the i'm.
portance of pea field, planted In corn
Mt the last woralng. as n factor In
cheap pork production. We made an
experiment last fall to determine the
value OF such Il pasture, the result
OF which should be very gratifying to
the southern farmers. who have n mo.
nopoly on such a pasture. the result
ern farmer cannot grow peas planted
In corn. but must give them tho use
of the land during the entire growing
season"
After tho corn was gathered. 81
spring piss were turned into the pea
held Of II acres. They had no addl'
tionai feed. The gain made from the
peas was ASIA pounds. or 40 pounds
per acre, At six cents per pound. this
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
MapIe Frostinu.

Here is tested recipe for maple
frosting: Break half pound OF soft
maple sugar into small pieces and put
into a saucepan with half a cupful OF
boiling water. Stir occasionally un-
I'll the sugar Is dissolved. and boil
without stirring until the sirup will
thread when dropped from the tip
OF a spoon. Pour gradually on the
beaten whites OF two eggs. beating
constantly, and continue beating until
the mixture Is OF the right consistency
for spreadlng.-E. V. B.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Dumas Sauce.

Place In a sauce bowl one heaping
teaspoon salt. three-quarter teaspoon
fresh-crushed very fine white pepper.
one mediumsized sound shallot, peel
ed and very finely chopped one heap
ing teaspoon very finely chopped chi
nese, one-half teaspoon finely chopped
parsley. Gently mix together, then
pour in one-half teaspoon olive oil.
six drops tabasco sauce, one light salt
spoon good fresh mustard. lastly one
light gill good vinegar. Mix well. send
to the table serve as required.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

rives a vala. for the peas Of 5000 per
acre And this IL net. as the hogs
did their own harvesting Also the
manure and humus from the stalks.
vines and seeds we're left on the land.
Hy tests made at the station for two
years 10 determine the value OF the
peas sroSn in the corn as a fertilizer.
it has been found that they Increase
;ae succeeding cotton crop by li0
pounds q lint per acre"
The following succession OF craps
is recommended by the Louisiana ex-
pertinent station Sow oats the latter
part Of September for fall ard winter
grazing. counting about Is or 20 head
% hogs per acre. Sow red clover or
crimson clover In October TO be pas
tu-sd after the oats. late In January.
and through February and March and
April Sow sorghum early In March
70 which transfer hogs from clover.
Afier harvesting oats. plant Mexican
June corn and COW peas In a portion
% the land. and peanuts and sweet
potatoes on the remainder Use corn
and a portion In peanuts for finishing
On the hogs for the market. or siaugh-
ter a. home"
Professor Lloyd. one OF the best.
posted agriculturists in the south. sug.
gests the following plan for hog
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Country Pot Roast.

In a hot frying pan melt a lump Of
butter or fry out a small piece of pork.
While very hot put in the roast.
browning all sides. Roll 1t over. DO
not insert the fork. so as to keep all
the Juice In. When Drowned put In a
pot which has been heated. pu. water
in the frying pan to get any juice that
may have escaped and pour over the
meat. Cover closely and cook slowly
for three hours. turning occasionally.
Keep about a cupful OF water under
the meat and sprinkle a little -four
and salt over 1t 10 minutes before TAX.
ing out. Turn several times.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

pasture: Oats and vetch planted in
September will furnish grazing Decem.
ber. January, February, March and
part OF April. Cow peas and peanuts
planted In April and May will furnish
grazing for July. August and Septem
ber. October and November Arti-
chokes planted In April and May will
furnish grazing December and Janu-
airy. Dwarf essex rape planted In Febru-
AIRY and March will furnish grazing In
May and June. Dwarf essex rape plant
nish grazing in December and Jan
uary. Bermuda grass, with white or
burr clover, will serve as permanent
pasture and furnish grazing a greater
part OF the spring. winter and sum.
mer."
Cow peas without grain have SO far
given better results at our experiment
stations than any other crop tested.
one season the peas were grown on
very poor hill land and produced $50
pounds OF pork per acre. The next
season the crop was grown on bottom
land and produced 4s3 pounds of pork
per acre. The hogs we're turned in
when the first pods began to ripen.
Profess Duggar, at the Alabama
station, found an acre of Spanish pea
nuts on poor, gravelly land produced
600 pounds OF live weight Of hogs and
an acre Of COW peas about 400 pounds
No country on earth has such advan-
tages for raising cheap pork. and yet
no country raises so little of 1t.
We are told by a bulletin issued by
the Louisiana station that one acre Of
Spanish peanuts grown on poor land
at Calhoun contained 1872 pounds of
nitrogen, worth at commercial fertil-
izers' value at least $23. An acre OF
velvet beans contained l9l pounds.
and an acre of COW peas l0S pounds.
These crops made from two to three
tons OF feed stuffs richer In food ele-
ments than wheat bran. When such
feed stuffs can be harvested by hogs
without serious loss of fertilizing
value. is there any excuse for poor
land and the shipping OF pork and lard
into the south?
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
THE RIGHT SOAP FOR BABYS
SKIN

In the care Of baby's skin and hair.
Cuticura Soap 10 the mothers "a
vorite. Not only Is II unrivaled In
purity and refreshing fragrance. but
its gentle emollient properties are
usually sufficient to allay minor irri.
tations, remove redness, roughness
and channg. soothe sensitive condi.
tons, and promote skin and hair
health generally. Assisted BY Cuu-
cura Ointment, 1t Is most valuable In
the treatment OF eczemas, rashes and
itching, burning infantile eruptions.
Cuticura Soap wears to wafer, often
outlasting several cakes OF ordinary
soap and making its use most eco
nomical.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample OF each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book Address post
card "Cuticura. Dept. L. Boston. ADV.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
WOULD HAVE THEM HANDY
eosrried Mans Explanation Of Large
Order VIII BE Understood by
Many Similar Unfortunates.

A brisk individual with the accumu.
lated look Of 20 winters OF married life
entered a hardware shop and without
waiting for prelimlnaries asked
do you keep hammers here?'
That In our speciality. sir"
Put mc down for "A dozen. How
about scre wdrIvcrBy"
Our great feature. Patent reyersi-
bio or plain cdgc?"
Give me n dozen OF each. II you
have any other varieties III take 'em,
tOo. How about gimlets7"
"yOu ara now mentioning our pet
product. All stylcs"
Give me all stylcs--long. short. mo
dtum. thick. thin. from the size Of n
needle To u pickax. Saver"
"Of every description"
"Til take 'em say half n dozen or
SO cronH cut. plain. round and square.
'it's down. sir. Can | interest you In
nails1"
You can indeed. III take some of
all that you have. put up In separate
packages. also tacks, brads. screws
rivets. staples s-cvcrythng And
want hooks. every hook you have. hIs
and little. Also"
Tho clerk leaned forward
Pardon me. sir" he said. "You
seem like sensible person. Unless
you arc opening up IA business. | am
at "A loss 10 understand your require
meBta."
1T In perfectly slmple SIR" said the
brisk person. Il have been married
for n years. aud not once since the
ceremony have l been able to locate n
single Implement when | wanted to
put up n calendar or do any other nee
ossary thing about the house, aud the
next time there is need of anything
done am going. no far as human fore
sight can provide for II. to have tho
means instantly to put my Impulse In
10 play"--Lifc.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
CARING FOR MOLTING FOWLS
Process Is No More Critical Than Lay
ing Stunt, Provided Hens Are
Given Sufficient Feed.

Some people mGae a dreadful fuss
about the poor moltng hen. while
this molting process Is just as nat
ural AS II is for a hen to live and
breathe, and no more critical than the
laying stunt. provided the hens are
fed enough to keep up the waste of
the body and at the same time manu-
facture the new feathers, says the
Field and Farm. The sooner the feath-
ers are grown the sooner the eggs
will come and TO hurry them along as
fast as possible the fowls should be
fed literally, Give them all the mash
they will eat. and a good feeding OF
grain at night.
To many folks II looks like throw.
ing away money to practice heavy
feeding while no eggs are coming In,
but this In one OF the secrets of get
ting winter eggs The molting sea
son Is the most critical period In the
life OF "A hen. Growth OF new feath-
ers is a heavy strain on vitality. As
the hen is fed on the average ranch
It requires from two to four months
to recover from the effects Of II.
I.y giving the necessary materials
with which to make the feathers 80
that n hen will not have to make them
from the tissues of her body. she will
be ready to work a. soon as she has
her new plumage and often before.
Pullets should b. handled In the same
way.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Cream Of Chicken Soup.

Break up the chicken. carcass left
from the previous day, add bits OF skin
and barley. cover with cold water,
cook slowly on the back of stove or
simmerng burner for an hour or more.
then drain of liquor, add an equal
amount of milk and thlcken with flour
and butter rubbed together. A little
cooked rice or macaroni improves this
economical and delicious soup.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Forgiven.

The prizes, had warned Pat a num-
Der OF times OF the probable conse
quence Of his Incorporate habits and
a. many times had secured the irish
mans promise to reform.
Finding Pat drunk one day. the rev
erend gentleman began his customary
rebuke by EXPRESSING his sorrow at
finding Pat once more In the condition.
Are you really sorry" asked Pat.
TO be sure | am" responded the
priest.
We'll. then" replied Pat. If you're
sure you're sorry, then III forgive
you"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Recrsant Auditor.

"you went TO sleep during your
wifes speech"
Eyes" replied Mr.. Mookton. Hen.
rletta has been rohearslng that speech
for week | told her | had better
not come here. knew something like
this would happen II she couldn't shout
Are you listening. LeonIdnsg' every
now aud then"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Senalhle Realization.

Quinn Where is the young poet
these days2
DE Fonte Doing well Always has
n dollar and wears a now suit He's
realized something
Quinn - Sold some Of his poems,
ch?
DcFonte- No. realized that he In
not poet anG got "A job as book.
keeper
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Plain propl,ecv

What did the doctor tell you today
about old unclc Jakes condition."
"lio was telling us that his moan
temperature was
"Tollins you about his mean tenn
roraturc. WAS hc7 That's no newR.
Everybody VINO knows Uncle Jake
hnows that he hasn't anything abou,
him that isn't mean"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Slow IN Realixe

MY dear" said Mr. Bickcss TO his
wife, u saw IN the papers today dc.
cision Of Virginia court that the wife
may. In some cases. bo tho head of the
family"
John Henry replied Mrs. Bickcrs.
the courts are sometimes very slow In
finding out thngsl" Puck.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
MosiLNcatIona.

"your speeches indicate that your
Views have changed"
Mot exactly. My constituents'
Views have changed. and I am keep
Ing In touch with tho wisdom Of the
plain people
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

1jark Ever notice these motorists
winding up their machines In front
Every auto must carry crank.
BIenks Yes, from the way some
motorists yell at pedestrians some
autos must carry two or three
cranks
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
OF Contradictory weIoh,.

What does you undciHtan' by cir,
cumatantlal evldcncer" asked Miss
Miami BrC"n
"Aa near as kin splain II, rum de
way II has been splninod to me-" an.
"werod Erasmus Pinkley. "cIrcum
Htantinl evidence In de feathers dat
you leaves lyln' round after you has
done ct de chicken"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
Quick Coffee Bread,

One quart OF flour, one level tea.
spoonful o, salt, two teaspoonfuls Of
baking powder. Ave eggs well beaten
with two tablespOonfuls OF sugar. one
pint Of milk and two tablespoonfuls
OF softened butter. Beat well. spread
In q pan and sprinkle sugar. a little
cinnamon and bits Of butter on ton,
and bake In q quick oven.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
A Marvellous llnoulst.

"Dobbs will never let himself be
downed by anything"
For instancey"
"ile was reading n newspaper out
loud the other day and when he came
To n pied line he translated II without
u moments hesitation"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24
uocomo,lUsrtarv

Hicks--your wife has no sense OF
humor.
wicks-you never saw her. How
do you knowi
Hicks--6hs married you.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

Mrs. winsow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inramma-
zion. .allays pa cures wind cole 25c bottle-AA
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

overwork inyenting labor saving ma
chinery.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

Many man is good husband sim
ply because he hasn't the nerve to be
anything else.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1913-12-24

on the level, did you ever see
woman who was speechless with rage?