davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
TRAGEDIES TOLD IN HEADLINES

From the Chicago Tribune.
Ouch!' Yelled the Boy. Chauffeur Had
Run Live Wire Under Bulb of Siren"
imported Scotch Collie Crawls Through
Hole in Fence and Makes Acquaintance
of Scrub Bulldog. Collie Was Valued at
$10O."
New Boss In Street Cleaning Depart
ment Accused of OverworlSing Employees;
Makes Them Empty Catch Basins at
Rate Of One Shovcful Every Minute"
Two Scissors Grinders Unexpectedly
Encounter Each Other While Working
the Same Part of Town."
"Sprinkling Cart Man Becomes Involved
in Argument With Street Oiler; -Four po-
llicemen Finally Pry Them Apart"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
AN INSPIRATION
From the Kansas city Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
1t was the morning after, and he was
telling the fellows at the office about it.
Tom and | spent last evening with some
friends and We're returning to our hotel at
rather late hour. We walked in the
middle of the street. for we felt so good
we wanted room in which to expand. At
place where some work was being done
there was a pile of dirt about five feet
long and about 10 inches high. Arm in
arm, we made an effort to step over the
obstruction. We met with utter failure.
Try as we might, our feet seemed to be
too heavy to lift over the obstruction. We
were about TO give UP in despair and re-
sign ourselves to being marooned on that
lonely street for the rest of the night
when had one of those rare inspirations
that come only to men of genius. 'Tom'
exclaimed, we are saved; we will 70
round this pile of dirt And we did"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
WITH THE EXCHANGES
From the New York Tribune.

From the New York Tribune.
How We envy the Exchange Editor.
Poaching on his preserve, we learn that
"Sir Frederick Treddleston is 81 today,
yet so erect. hale and hearty that he
might easily pass for 50;" also that Mr..
Stefansson's gallant ship, speeding ever
northward, has reached Rome;" and
finally that "a warm, maternal heart
beats under the Vicereine's pettcoat."
Hourly enriched with treasures like
these, what mind the Exchange Edi-
tor must haveI
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
FAyoRITE FICTION

FL ON the Chicago Tribune.
THE Right Honorable. John Jordle.'
"Awfully Glad To Have Met You, ilr.
Snfylzes'
House of Representatives"
my Friends, the Only Ambition l dav,
Is to Serve Your Interests Faithfully.
81 Wasn't Going Faster Than Eight
Miles an Hour, Your Honor"
'Of course, l Always Want To See the
Best Team Win"
Judge He's the Kindest Husband in
the World, Except When He's Drunk
s'Impregnable Fortress"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
an INFANr pRopIGY or l12l

From the London Chronicle.
Perhaps tire worst infant prodigy on
record was Christian lIeinecSer, born az
i.ubeek in l72l. At 10 months he could
speak and repeat every word spoken to
him; at II months he knew by heart
great part of the Bible; at years he
spoke and read French and Latin as cas-
lily as his native tongue. In his fourth
year he employed himself In the study
of religion and church history and his
fame as scholar spread so that the King
of Denmark sent for him and was
astounded at his learning. just before
he was 5, however, Heinecker fell ill and
died-and the world breathed more freely.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
AN OPTIMIsTos EPITAPH

From Harpers
The Carlsbad invalid has ordinarily a
surprisingly robust appearance. He looks
strong-scoffers say he has to be. to live
through the rigors of the cure. A serious
tribute has already been paid to the vir-
tues of Carlsbad waters, SO it may be
permissible to quote the anecdotes of the
light minded. There is an apocryphal le-
gend of an epitaph in Carlsbad church,
yard
Il was well.
l hoped to be better,
Here l amt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
DIscREDITING TRADITION.


The picnic season with its joy
Is quickly passing by;
But still we've never seen boy
Who sat down in the pie
youngstown Telegram.
The picnic seasons fading fast:
It's seen its golden chance;
No tabecloth have. we seen cast
Upon a hill of ants.
Denver Republican.
The picnic seasons on the blink,
And calling up old fakes,
We've never seen a reckless ginlS
Disperse the crowd with snakes.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
The picnic days are nearly Ger,
TIL last sad rites we reach
And still we've really failed to score
The sand that's on the beach.
-Painesville Telegraph Republican.
The picnic seasons nearly done,
We shall not greatly mind
When people with their baskets run
We'd fain be left behind.
THE MOTE AND THE BEAM.
There is a woman in this town who has
the filthiest backyard within radius of
seven square blocks. and yet she becomes
highly indignant every time she sees
typographical error in newspaper
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

An enterprising woman applied in court
the other day for an increase of alimony,
had received raise in salary. Serves him
right for Dragging about it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Some of us always did think that Gov
ernor sulzer overdid his Jeffersonian sim
plcity Inauguration. Better for him would
have been little more pomp coupled with
clean business methods.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THEN THEY FOUGHT AGAIN.

Yes, sobbed Mrs. Bunderby, at the
conclusion of the quarrel. "and what
would you do without me?n
What would I do without your re-
peated Mr.. Bunderby. .'oh, a number Of
places I have never had the price to do
since I married you"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Madame Bernhardt says she has lived
a long time because she has always done
what she wanted to do. Still, we dare
say, there are times when She hates like
the dickens TO play Camille"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

just what the seventeenth amendment
Dleans is about as complicated puzzle as
that ancient problem, How old is Anne?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Boston doesn't have to wait until fall
for September Morn-they come in Au-
gust" says the Transcript. All y new
shipment, we presume.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

1t is high time the Molesworthians were
up at 'em il another pennant is to fly at
Rickwood next year
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

If women keep on taking off their
clothes maybe mere man will some day
have the courage to take off his coat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Governor Sulzer's efforts to muddy the
waters are interesting only to himself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Oh Billy Suzer, how could you do it,
And we used to admire your homely but
honest countenance!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
SO K1ND!

"Dinkle called me an elongated speei-
men of decadency'
THE ideal!
you don't agree with him. do you?'
Certainly not. I don't think you are
very tall"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

The doctors are calling each other names
in the Frank trial It's usually the law
yers who do that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Colonel Mulhall has reached the black
cap stage of his headline career.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
THE COURTIN'

lanes Russell Lowell
Y Cd makes sech nights, all white an still
Fur y you can look or listen,
i Moonshine an snow on field an hill,
All silence an all glisten.
Zekle crep' up quite unbeknown
An peeked in thru the winder.
And there BOT Huldy all alone.
'Ith no one nigh-to hender.
The very room, COZ she was in,
Seemed warm from floor to ceilin',
An she looked full ez rosy agn
Ez the apples she was peeln
He was six foot o. man, Al
Clean grit an human natur';
None couldn't quicker pitch ton,
Nor dror a furrer straighter.
He'd spanked it with full twenty gals
He'd sauired EN-, danced em, druv 'em
Fust this one, an then thet, by spells
All is he couldn't love 'em.
She heered foot, an knowed it tu,
A-raspin on the scraper-
All ways to once her feelin's flew
Like sparks in burnt-up paper.
An yit she gin her cheer jerk
Ez though she wished him furder,
An on her apples KEEP to work,
Parin away like murder.
You want TO see my Pa L s'poseY
wal ! . come dasignin ."
ITO see my Ma? She is sprnklin' cloes
Agin to-morrer's inin."
He stood spell on one foot fust
Then stood spell on t'other,
An on which one he felt the wust
He couldn't ha' told We nuther.
saws he, ''Td better call agin;"
Says she, think likely, Mister"
l,faI Ia m n
An -. Wal, he up an kist her.
THE blood clost roun her heart felt glued
Too tight for all expressn'.
Tell mother see how matters stood,
And gin em both her bessin'. -
Then her red come back like the IN
Down to the Bay O. Fundy, ~
An all know is they was cried ~
In meetin come mex Sunday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

Summer shows a disposition to linser In
the lap of autumn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

The democrats may need Mr. Poindex-
ter's vote to pass the tariff bill after
oil
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

MI. Lind is indeed stranger in
strange land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

DltQ 10 take care
"well?"
I've been thinking very seriously of
permitting a merger
ISOLATION.
"Dobbs looks like a man who is well
pleased with himself
''And so he is. yet 1t must be rather
lonesome to hold an opinion for lifetime
that nobody else seems to indorse."
NOTHING.
There's nothing makes the parvenue
So much inclined to gloat
As sailing o'er the ocean blue
In the biggest ship afloat'
DESERVED IT.
''I see where famous pastry cook has
passed away"
well, did he get a puff when he died?n
so DOES HIS DAD
Small Willie gets
Each time he hears
A sermon.
NAMES, DATES. ETC.
"Hobbs is a great fellow to dig up
facts"
Useless facts, I presume?"
mo. He uses them as basis for bet
ting"
IN CLOSE PROXIMITY.
How l envy that office boy!'
What for?"
He has the whole world before him.
Yes. but you must remember that he
also has the boss behind him."
DESERTED.
A man may go rapid gait
And all his money freely spend,
But, o the weary time he'll wait
For kindness at his journeys end.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
ISOLATION.

I've been thinking very seriously Of
permitting a merger"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
ONE LESS TO FEED.

My neighbors left me their cat and
canary bird to take care Of
''Well?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
DESERTED

DESERTED.
A man may go rapid gait
And all his money freely spend,
But, o the weary time he'll wait
For kindness at his journeys end.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
NOTHING.

There's nothing makes the parvenue
So much inclined to gloat
As sailing oer the ocean blue
In the biggest ship afloat."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
DESERVED IT.

'I see where a famous pastry cook has
passed away"
well, did he get puff when he died?pI
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13

4
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-13
NAMES. DATES. ETC.

nat forI
He has the whole world before him."
Yes. but you must remember that he
also has the boss behind him.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1913-07-10
THERE IS NOTHING IN McCOY'S ADVERTISING
ISN'T McCOY'S GOODS

Frostilla, bottle 23c
Lustr-ite mail enamel, box -23c
x Unequal, jar -------------------- 23c
Aliens foot ease, box--------23 c
TIZ
Rosaline -23c
Oriental cream, bottle ----S1.38
Champlin's Liquid Pearl, bottle 45c
Daggett & Ramsdell's cold
cream, tube -23c
"Sempre Giovine," box ------ 45c
Pocket Emery board, dozen -23c
Stillman's freckle cream -45c
Milk weed cream ------------45 c
Satin skin cream, jar -23c
Sanitol cold cream, jar -23c
Pompeian Massage cream 69c
Creme Elcaya, jar -------------45 c
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1913-07-10

Listerine, bottle
Ongoline removes stain from
skin and nails -45c
Septeel hair cleanser -----------3 Sc
Blue Seal vaseline ----- SC
Blue Seal white vaseline ------ SC
Manicure sticks, all sizes -------- SC
Rouge Fin, box 15c
Sanitary face channels -------1 0c
Children's tooth brushes -----22c
Adult pure bristle tooth brushes 15c
Hygienic nail and tooth brush set,
per set csc
Eye brow pencils
Lip Rouge
Lip rubi
Shampoo powders --------------l0
Kinds honey and almond cream 45c
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1913-07-12
Wants and Other Ads

Subscriptions for any periodical
at publishers prices at news stand
in Postal Telegraph Office. We
can make You some record break
ing prices on club offers. Advt.
Send your laundry by parcels
post to the Troy Laundry, Elko, New.
Laundry, returned the same way.
Good service and promptness is our
rule of action. Mining camps and
places remote from the railroad can
get satisfactory results by sendiug
work to this we'll known laundry.
Give it trial and be convinced.
Buy your magazines and periodi-
cal at the news stand in Postal
Telegraph office. Headquarters for
latest fashion books Magazines and
all popular cloth novels by the
worlds greatest authors Salt Lake
Tribune on sale daily.
Mrs. w. G. Howell, Optician,
with Howell Jewelry Co. will open
office in Room 10, Mayer Hotel
commencing Monday, June 10th.
Advt
IF THE NEVADA AUTO CO.
G ANNOT FIX II SELL IT TO
THE ELKO HIDE & JUNK COM
PANY.
What is life without-The Independ
entH
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1913-07-12
Business,

"Mirandy, Mlrandyi Git Api They's
ten automobiles gone by Already this
mornln', an tn chickens amt been
turned out into tn road yitl"--Judge.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1913-07-12
AntIolpauon.

Mrs. Justwed--Just think OF It. dear
est one! Twenty-Five years from day
before yesterday win DO our silver an.
uiversaryl--Judse.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
ST. PATRICK'S ALLIANCE
WILL GIVE A RECEPTION

Delegations from every branch of
st. Patrick's Alliance of America in
the city will be present at the recep-
ton and ball to be conducted by the
alliance at Dodgers Halt, 1856 Morris
avenue, on the night of the seven
teenth. The affair is being arranged
under the auspices Of Branch No.
of the alliance, and invitations have
been sent to all members to Join in
the celebration of st. Patrick's Day.
The reception committee members
are: Dennis Keely, chairman;
Thomas Craig. Edward Carolin, Ed
ward Donnelly, William Seaman,
Martin Ennis. Frank Nugent and
Timothy Dillon. The following Off
GERS will also act as members of the
arrangement committee: Michael
Sugrue, president; p. j. Hosey. first
vice-president; John Barrett. second
vice. president: Bernard Dolan. re-
cordihg secretary; Patrick j. Brokan,
financial secretary; Michael CONNER
ford, conductor, and William e.
Johnston, sergeant-at-arms Thomas
Craig. ir., will assist Mr.. Johnston
and Mr.. Barrett as members of the
floor committee.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07

the entertainment are William Z.
McDermott, Andrew j. Brady, jr.,
Miss Katherine r. Bryce, Joseph l..
Mullin, James ]. Sheridan, John Cal
lahan, r. NJ. Feely, Miss Margaret
Costello, b. J. Murphy. Miss Helen
Devaney. w. j. Byrne. p. Hanefeld,
George Mulligan. the youthful sing
er; X. II. Fraiuey and Joseph NJ
Desnan. Assembyman Frank A..
Foley will read the famous speech
delivered by Robert Emmett from
the prisoners dock
The officers of the division have
been making strenuous efforts to in
sure the success of the celebration,
which will also mark the twenty
fifth year of its existence. The Off
GERS are Andrew j. Brady, president:
Martin Kilkenny, vice president Pat
rick J. Heating, treasurer; Charles
Connolly. financial secretary, and
James i. Reilly, recording secretary.
Thomas J. Phelan rs chairman of the
entertainment committee: Martin
Kilkenny, secretary, and Patrick j.
Heating, treasurer.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
WOULD MAKE "WHITE WAY"
OF SPRINGFIELD AVENUE

Brighter lights for Springfield ave
nue. were discussed at conference
yesterday afternoon between repre-
sentatives of the Public Service Elec-
tric Company and the Springfield
Avenue Improvement Association.
The association will present their de-
sires in that direction before the
Board of Works next Thursday.
The Springfield avenue merchants
prefer the powerful Tungsten lights
to the flaming arcs in use on Broad
and Market streets. The members of
the West End improvement Associ-
alton have asked the Springfield ave
nue. people TO cooperate with them in
having the system extended as far
a. Tenth street. The West End mem
bers would also like to have the
proposed new pavement extended to
the city line instead of ending at
Bergen street.
The matter of consolidating all the
Improvement associations i'm the city
irto a league was also discussed but
nc action was taken.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
Plan 3-Day Celebration
to Honor Erin'S Saint
Irish Societies Arrange Many
Affairs for ST. Patrick's
Feast.

Preparations for the observance of
ST Patrick's Day have been completed
by half dozen patriotic orgsniza-
tons in this city, which have ar
ranged as many celebrations where
the sons of Erin will gather to honor
the patron saint of Ireland
Large delegations from local di-
visions of the Ancient Order of Hi
hefnians and other societies will jour
ney to Jersey City on Sunday, March
l6, to take part in the monster parade
to be held there in honor of st. Pat
rick. The parade is being arranged
by the Hibernians of Hudson county.
which has twenty-five divisions.
Fully $500 members of the Hudson
divisions will be in line, and the Es-
sex delegation will probably add 1000
more marchers to the parade. The
start of the parade will be made from
the headquarters of the Holy Name
Society, on Jersey avenue, Jersey
City, a 2;SO o'clock in the afternoon.
The men will march through the
principal streets of Jersey City and
Hohoken, where they will disband
The celebrations in Newark will ex-
tend over three DAYS, Saturday. March
10, and the following two days.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
BOY, AT AGE OF EIGH TEEN.
is DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

CAMBRIDGE. Mass, March T.
Norbert Weiner who has for years
past borne the sobriquet of the "clev-
crest boy in the world" was yester-
day at the astonishing age of IS
years in connection with such an
honor, awarded a degree of Doctor of
Philosophy at Harvard University
Young Weiner. who, despite a stu
d!ousncss and scholarly accomplish
ment that began before he was out
of pinafores. is sturdy youth and
athletic. entered Tufts College when
he was II years old and graduated
when he was IA. Since then he has
studied al Cornell. specializing in
philosophy and mathematics During
the present year, at an age when
most boys are entering their fresh
man year. he received his third year
degree.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
WELL-KNOWN SPEAKERS TO
ADDRESS SIM FEN CLUB

The Committee in charge of the an
nual banquet of the Sim Fein Club,
which will honor the patron saint
of Ireland a. a banquet in the Hotel
Continental, Monday night. March
Il, have succeeded in securing several
excellent speakers for the occasion
It is expected that more than 200
members and guests will be present
Congressman Frank Clark, Of
Florida. will respond to the toast.
The Day We Celebrate" Professor
Charles Hallam Mccarthy of the
Catholic University. The Politicsl
Character of the Celtic Race" James
S. Hopkins, principal of the Jersey
City High School. Education and
John + Murray, ir., a local attorney,
will talk on Opportunity.
The diners will receive souvenirs
of shamrocks imported from Ireland
for the occasion The menu will con
sist principally of Irish food. Add
tional entertainment viii he provided
by the Sim Fein Quartet, which will
render a number of Irish selections.
The quartet is composed of George
w Kirwin, first tenor; A. w Joyce,
second tenor; Nicholas j. lyman. first
bass and Joseph L. Mullin second
bass The music will be provided by
the Mcmahon brothers orchestra
and instrumental selections will he
played by Stephen and jeremiah
Mcmahon.
The officers of the club are Charles
T. Gillen. president; Bart ]. Free
man secretary; Samuel P Waldron,
treasurer, and Francis A. Higgins,
financial secretary The committee in
charge of the banquet is composed of
Francis A. Higgins, jeremiah r.
O'Brien, Joseph l. Smith, David
giordan. John ]. Gillen, John J. Nc
Nellen. Samuel p. Waldron, Philip
.. Walsh, jr., John j. Cummings,
Joseph L. Mullin. John F. Dempsey,
John j. Berry. Sheriff John f. Mona
han. Edward NJ WaIdron, Martin J.
Flatley. Anthony Waldron and James
II Grant
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
FRIENDLY SONS ARRANGE
DINNER AT WASHINGTON

Many prominent men viii attend
the forty-third annual banquet of the
Society of the Friendly Sons of st
Patrick, to be held at the Washing
ton on the evening of st. Patricks
Day Elaborate arrangements are
being made for the affair, and the
Indications are that the attendance
will be greater than on former occa-
sions.
Mayor Jacob Ilaussling will attend
as the guest of honor. Invitations
have also been extended to Congress-
men Walter !. Mccoy and Edward
w. Townsend and Arthur Brisbane,
editor of the New York Journal The
banquet will also be attended by John
=. Carroll. president of the Celtic
Club, and several Of the latter clubs
members. The Celtics have invited
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
TO EXPLAIN PROBLEM
OF INDUSTRIAL CENTRE

Charles r. Towson. OF New York,
an expert on industrial centre prob
lens, will deliver an address at the
thirty second anniversary services OF
the Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton next Sunday Afternoon, in Wal.
lace Hall The industrial centre
proposition from both the side of the
men and the employer will be fully
explained by Mr. ToWson.
The board of directors recognizes
the fact that the main problem of
dealing with the man who works with
his hands must be done through
properly-regulated clubs. and the
local assoc.a ton will cndeavor to
widen it's own field in industrial
activities. Good work along these
lines has been accomplished in other
cities, and for that reason the local
association engaged Mr.. Towson to
explain the matter in full.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-03-07
Gel TIC CLUB WILL HAVE
IT'S 9TH BANQUET

Arrangements are being completed
for the annual banquet of the Celtic
Club, of Newark, TO be held at
Administrators on Saturday evening
March 15 Joseph Y. Clark, chairman
of the banquet committee, announced
that a large number of the members
and their friends would be on hand to
hear the speakers secured for the oc
casion, which will be the twenty
seventh annual banquet of the club.
Those who will speak are: Patrick
Francis Murphy, of New York, a
we'll known fter-dinner speaker;
Judge Charles w. Sinnott, Captain
Joseph Rohan and Alexander Hamill,
of Jersey City. Judge Thomas j.
Lintott will act as toastmaster.
The officers of the club are: Thomas
j. Regain, president emeritus: John L.
Carroll, president; Joseph NJ. Byrne,
vice. president; Michael f. McLaugh
lin, vice president: John NJ. Delany,
vice president: John II. 0'Connor,
treasurer. and Bernard NJ. Stanley,
ir., secretary.