davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
"AfI Sicker'n Your Man"

A commissioner to the, Hawaiian
islands was to be appointed, and eight
applicants had filed their papers, when
at the White House on behalf of a
ninth. Not only was their man fit,
but was also in bad health.
The president was rather impatient
that day, and before the members OF
the delegation had fairly started in
this remark:
Gentleman, I am sorry to say that
there are eight other applicants for
that place, and they are all sicker'n
your man"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Poor prOSoect.

When Senator Kern was running
for governor of Indiana he stopped
one noon at little hotel in Brown
county for some food.
Hurry up, now" Kern said to the
proprietor. q have only 10 minutes
before my train comes"
mo hurry, governor" the hotel
keeper replied. You can eat all there
is in this hotel in five minutes. Sat
urday Evening Post
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
She's GONG to Marry "ReaI Well"

A Manhattan woman whose daugh-
ter is soon to marry is thus quoted by
the Nationalist: Yes, my daughter is
going to marry bell hop from Chica-
go. He has such a fine position, pays
him $35 a week. He will be raised to
$50 the first of the year. l wanted
them to put the wedding off until then
because it will be hard for them to live
in the city on less than fifty, but they
won't do it. He will get another pro
motion soon after the first of the year
and then he will get SIS per week. 1t
will take that much, you know, be
cause my daughter just loves society"
Kansas City Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
GETTING Posted,

Henry Dyke, Of a Tennessee regi-
ment, once took on too much brandy,
and Col. Byrd called him up to his
tent, and asked Dyke if he didn't know
that drinking was against the regu-
lations.
"Wha' regulations, Cunnel?"
THE army regulations"
'NeV' heard O. 'em, Cunnel; read
UNI to muh.''
Henry sat down promptly went to
sleep while the Colonel read the reg
ulations. When he was about through
the laborious task Henry reused him
self and said: "Cunnel, read it over
ag,n. There wa p'ints | didn't git"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
TIE CI1UClFKIW: IheStory of calvary

one corner of the room to the other;
and as he did not cry out and did not
resist. it seemed at times that it was
not live man, but soft doll with
bones and without blood
And suddenly all became ST.
lent
What is this? Why are they ST.
lent? Have they guessed suddenly"
In an instant Judas head was filed
with the roar and shout of thousands
of Infatuated thoughts. Have they
guessed? Do they understand now
that he is the very best of men? 1t
is so simple, so clear. What are they
: doing there now? They kneeI before
: him and weep softly, kissing his feet
Now he viii come out here, and they
will follow him meekly, crawling after
him. hereto Judas-he will come out
victorious, Ian, a Master of Truth.
God.
Who is deceiving Judas? Who is
right"
But no. The noise and the shouting
were resumed. They were beating him
again. Icy dld nut guess, LISy dAO
not understand, and they beat him
more harshly, more painfully. And the
bonfres were burning to the end. COW
cred with ashes, and the smoke was
just as transparency blue as the air.
and the sky just as bright as the moon.
Day was setting in.
What is day." asked Judas.
~
gan to flash, grow young and the
smoke was no longer blue but pink.
The sun was rising.
What is the sum-" asked Judas
When the hammer was rails
ed to nail the left hand of Jesus to the
wood, Judas closed his eyes-he did
not breathe, he did not see anything,
he did not live-he only listened. Then
the iron struck the iron with thud
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

bases The Compania Bailenera de
Magellanes, a Chilean company, is the
only whaling concern in this terri
tory. Organized in 1905. it operates
administrative Offices in Punta Arenas,
a trying-out station on the island of
San Isidro in the Strait of Magellan,
and base of operations in the South
sea current, licensed from the Falk-
land authorities. The company opens
its annual whaling season in the
Strait of Magellan in October. with
base at San IsidTo, where it operates
until December. in which month its
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
WHALING A LIVE INDUSTRY
Statistics Show That IL Has Not
Died, and Has Every Prospect OF
Long Life.

Whaling today in the extreme south
I'm waters is conferred to a great ex-
tent in the Falkland islands. due to
the fact that a license is required by
the British authorities of those isl
ands for the privilege of operating in
the South sea current, with the South
Shetland islands and Grahamland as
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
SOME RISK IN EXPERIMENT
Good Idea, But Max AdeIer
Was Before Him.

\ humane man in Minneapolis has
strapped an incandescent bulb on
the forehead of his valued horse. and
by this means hopes TO warn away
reckless drivers of automobiles who
might otherwise run him down at
night and do him grevious harm. The
battery. a small affair, is attached be-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

floating station and three whaling
boats steam to the South sea current,
to remain until the season closes in
March or April. The catch for the
last year in the Southern seas was
valued at about s245,000. Only occa-
sional right and sperm whales are
caught in the extreme southern wa
tiers. the usual classes taken being
blue, humpback. fin, and sey whales.
The whales when killed are brought
alongside the floating station and
there cut up and the sections tried
out into oil. However, one of the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

meath one of the thills. and the con
nection is made when the horse is
harnessed.
1t is understood that the first dark
night the new device was tried the
horse. unaccustomed, to the attach
ment, shook his lighted head so vigor-
ously that an inebriated automobiles
got dazed and went into the ditch.
At the same time the humane ex-
pressman should remember the ex-
perience Of Max Adeler's Erie canal
mules and be quite sure that the in
sulation is perfect.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Pious Advice.

A veteran told a story recently
about a very pious chaplain. The
chaplain was as brave as he was piods,
and was distributing cartridges on the
firing line at Gettysburg when he over
heard trooper swearing blasphem-
ously at the enemy. BLANK them to
Blank" he murmured; the Blankety-
blank Blankety- blanks
Brother, brother" admonished the
chaplain, dealing out mort cartridges,
don't cuss the poor fellowship EN-"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

Those mules had a current attached
to them by a genial idiot of a driver
in order to put little hustle into
their tagging footsteps and when they
got the second shock they kicked the
driver into the canal, dragged the boat
into the bank, tipped over the lock-
keepers house, and committed suicide
by drowning.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Suffocatsd nv wi,e E,,,es

Five were sufocated in a wine vat
at Brugier, near Limoges, France, g
few days ago. The five were working
at wine press when one of them, &
gIrl named Crouzet, who was in the
vat, fell and was asphyxiated Her
four companions rushed to her Eelp
but also succumbed to the fumes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Would Share the Leo.

At a recent election a ready an
swer secured one woman canvasser a
vote for her party. She had fuently
advanced several reasons in favor Of
her candidate to grumpy elector, who
told her she could talk the hind leg off
donkey.
Well" she replied, ut would give
me much more pleasure to drive you
to the polling place than to the hos
pital"
The retort so tickled the voter that
he promised to support her side.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Vanity.

He says that the person with whom
he is in love is very beautiful"
They all say that"
But don't you think it is vain for
man to talk like that about him
self"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
GETTING SusnicinIIs

My father talked me into taking
course in domestic science"
And how do you like domestic
science?"
We'll, it looks like ordinary kitchen
work to me. If my suspicious are con-
frmed I shall drop the course and
make father buy me a $50-dollar hat"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Fame Is 4 ShuttIecock.

A man whose business it is to be
talked of is much helped by being at
tackled. Fame, sir, is shuttlecock;
if it be struck only at one end of the
room, it will soon fall to the ground;
to keep it up, it must be struck at
both ends-Johnson.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

gold. He says that while now we can
only work with electricity at 100, 900
volts, it is only matter of perfecting
the method to be able to work at ten
times that voltage, when the baser
metals can be changed into the more
precious. In other words, electricity,
when brought to its highest efficiency
and application, is the real PhiIoso.
piers Stone for which the alchemists
of the middle ages searched so long.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
XeS and No

He-Your fr1eno, Miss Wabash, is
quite chic, Miss Breezy.
Miss Breezy "a trife enviously)-
Yes, Clara may be trifle chic, but
she is no chicken.-Harper' Bazaar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
0aiIy Thoudhf

Part Of our good consists in the en-.
deavor to do sorrows away, and in
the power to sustain them when the
endeavor fails; to bear them nobly,
and thus help others to bear their
SORROWS as well-Leigh Hunt.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Wisdom of Silence.

No one can know what's in you if
you don't talk It's a great deal easier
to look wise than to talk wisely.
When you have plenty to speak for
you. why talk?"-"Unpath' Waters,
by Frank Harris.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Transfer Postponed.

so you want back your presents?'
AT once" declared the girl
Well here's your photograph and
your lock of hair These embroidered
suspenders l shall have to mail you"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
DOMESTIC ECONOMY.

THE doctor says I must quit smoking One
lung is nearly gone"
On, dear, John. Can't you hold out until we
get enough coupons for that diningroom rue2n
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Quite the Contrary.

Singleton-"I say, old man, doesn't
you're spending SO much time at the
club get you into trouble at home?
WedderIy-"On the contrary. dear
boy. If keeps me out of it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Power of Language.

Il can't get that woman to take any
fresh air." complained the young phys
ician.
You don't word your advice prop
erly," said the old doctor. Tell her
to perambulate daily in the park, TAX,
ing copious inhalations OF ozone"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
CoNSrYFpS CO.opFR.TJyF CO

Milwaukee, had to issue End edition of their free
Nov. cataleg. So they will issue thOusa nds
more of Dec. cataIog describing the latest use
full inventions and tricks of magic and Offering
ordinary necessities very reasonably. Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Answer That, Now.

He-Madam, you promised to obey
me. Do you do it?
She-Sir, you promised me your
worldly goods. Do [ get en-?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

Electricity Real Philosophers Stone
Professor Soddy makes the asser-
ton boldly that it is only a question
Of application to change lead into
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
PRUDENT ENJOYMENT

Have you had any trouble with your auto-
mobile rides Mrs. Jones?"
No, indeed; we make it point to keen al
ways near enough to trolley line to get home"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
E01DoYfant 70 Mothers
Right.

There's one reason why I could
never love you, Chollie. Can't you
guess what it is?"
mo, I can't think"
That's the reason"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

They stop the tickle-Dean's Mentho-
lated Cough Drops stop coughs by stop
ping the cause-5c at Drug Stores.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie ,25c bottleAN
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

HE moon had risen already
when Jesus prepared to go
to the Mount of Olives.
where he had spent all his
last nights. But he tarried,
for some inexplicable rea-
son. and the disciples,
ready TO start, were hurry
ing him then he said sud
denly:
He that hath a purse,
let him take it, and like
wise his script; and he that
hath no sword, let him sell
L 1-I INV
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

And many a man who has the cheek
to raise whiskers doesn't even try it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Mean Hint.

Jack proposed to me last night"
The poor boys always doing some
thing desperate"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

God created the coQuette as soon as
he had made the fool.-Victor Hugo.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

Norwegian companies (Solvesen's) is
erecting base on Deception Island
adequate for trying out the whole
whale
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18

A cornet in a neighbours fiat may be
as big a nuisance as a full fledged
corn in ones own.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
Tribute to Mas Prower5.

My pa can lick your pa"
That may be, but he can't lick my
ma"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-12-18
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
. 5z

They dye IL cold water better than any other dye
tc MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Quincy, I'll.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Poultry, Pet and Live Stock

breeding place is between the end
Of the roOst pole and the support,
turn the pole over and you will usu-
ally see them in all their glory.
see them in all their glory.
Now for a remedy. For treating
the house and contents use the fol-
lowing we call it a lice paint
to half gallon of kerosene add one
pint Of crude carbolic acid and shake
thoroughly before using. Use this To
paint the roOst poles and the sides
OF the house If need be, allowing T.
to run down under the ends Of the
poles to get to the breeding places.
| This should be done about an hour
] or two before rOOsting time. In that
way you viii get many Of the little
pests off the hens as they sit on
| the pole at night in addiuon to clean
| ing them from the poles.
Where it is to be used for the
roosting places of young and grow
| ing chicks, we would add another
| pint of kerosene to the above mix
ture.
For a good home mace lice DOW
| der we can recommend the follow
| ing: One can not do without sucn
a powder to clean up the stragglers
which the lice paint fans 10 reach.
To three ptnts Of gasoline add one
| pint of crude CarbOliC acid. cit should
be of a good grade). MIX thoroughly
in a granite or earthenware pan stir
ring thoroughly. then add enough
land plaster or plaster or paris I'M
til all the liquid has been thoroughly
absorbed. Then spread out on a
| heavy piece Of wrapping paper or
something similar to allow the SUI
plus moisture to evaporate. When
it has become thoroughly dry II
should be powdered or broken up by
running it through a sieve OF some
kind. An old piece Of fly screen wire
netting will do the trick. It is then
ready to box up and sifi into the
| feathers of the fowls working it back
will to the skin. A pound baking
powder can with lot OF nail holes
punched in the lid makes a good
| sitting box.
This powder, II we'll made, is as eff
| fective as any of the nigh priced
powders on the market. 1t is spe-
| cialIy recommended for those who
| live remote from good supnlv houses
and can not get good fresh market
able powders. Do not De afraid to
use these remedies and particularly
/ the roost paint Once a month is
/ not too often when the weather IS
hot and these insects multiply rap
| idly.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Some Good Home
Made Remedies
For Lice and Mites
How to Find and What to Use to Kill
the Small Creatures That Cause.
the Fowls So Much Misery.

1t is the old story OF chicken mites
and lice. We are sure a good many
up-to-date poultry people get tired
of hearing about them, but it is the
one theme that VIII bear going over
time and again and do a lot of good
each time it is rehashed. for there
are 80 many who have nto had it
rubbed in on them hard enough to be
able to detect the troubles that are
constantly bobbing up as a result OF
the ravages of these pests.
All forms of apparent debility and
lack OF vigor results from fowls be-
ing almost eaten up by the mites.
Setting hens leave their nests in dis
gust, as IL were, stalking about as
II they were sick after the nest has
been invaded by them. She stands
them as long as her constitution will
hold up under II and then she quits
the nest from sheer exhaustion.
They tackle the old rooster until
we see him walking about as though
he did not have friend in the
world, with his SLOW and mea sure j
trend"
with all these symptoms the own
er will tell you about them and saw
with all sincerity Of intent that they
do not know what in the world is
the matter with their chickens. and
they are sure they have no lice or
mites on them. They have no doubt
given them a casual LOOK over and
have failed to detect the little rascals
in their quick movements. Then. too.
the little mites have an Unborn habit
of working upon the hens all night.
but leaving them at daylight hid
ing In the cracks ard crevices Of the
roost poles to be ready at a mo-
ment's notice to renew the attack.
1t is really as essential to be abe
to detect the presence OF these ma
rauders as II Is to know what to do
for them when found. Their pet
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Worlds Good Roads
Congress in London
specIaI cahle Ia rh. Atlant.

Special Gable TO The Atlanta Georgian.
LONDON, June 24.-David Lloyd
George, Chancellor of the Exchequer,
at the opening Of the third Interna-
uonal Road Congress declared that
improved highways took high rank
among the first needs Of humanity.
The members Of the congress, num-
bering $500. include many of the
greatest road experts in the world.
They intend to travel over hundreds
Of miles Of typical English and Scot
fish roads and to make a close study
of those highways. They will cross
stretches of road made Of more than
twenty different materials and will
learn full particulars regarding each
stretch.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
MOTHER DENIES
PLOTTING To
KILL BABY
ACquittaI or MistriaI Predicted in
Case of Mrs. Nina Lanier
at Waycross.

WALCROSS. June 24-With the
State resting its case to-day opinion
is freely expressed that the jury, try
ing the case of Mrs. Nina Lanier
charged with killing her baby son
within an hour after the case reaches
it will return a verdict Of not guilty
or will fail to reach an agreement.
Circumstancial evidence alone has
been brought out so far and the tes-
timony of several witnesses to-day
failed to connect Mrs. Lanier directly
with the killing of the badly. Dr.
D. NJ. Bradley. city health officer
told Of his investigation Of the case
and of the arrest Of Mrs. Lanier's
husband on the charge of violating
the city ordinance covering the re-
moval of bodies from the city. He
said there was no apparent effort at
concealment and that Lanier merely
said he was not aware Of such a law
Physicians Testify.
DR.. NJ. NJ. Johnson testified that
he did not think the marks found
on the baby's body could have re-
suited from jolts Of the coffin while
in transit from Pierce County to
waycross and said his opinion was
death resulted from violent and ex-
ternal means such as strangulation
or smothering. He declared his ex-
animation of the marks on the neck
indicated that some one had choked
the baby
DR.. A. Fleming testified that the
marks on the neck could have been
post norton marks and that the
skull fracture was not sufficient to
Justify the conclusion that blow
had been dealt. The baby on the
head.
Interest in the trial reached its
height when the defense called Mrs
Larier to the stand. Waverine
slightly as she went to the witness
chair. she Immediately broke into
tears and for a moment could not
speak.
Mrs. Lanier's Story.
In a low, quiet voice her eyes scan
ming the faces of the jury, Mrs. La
nier finally told her story of the
baby's death. She said she fell ASLEEP
shortly after the birth of her child
and when a noise in the room awoke
her, saw her husband sitting on hei
bed.
HE looked worried and distressed
she said. land l asked him what was
the trouble. He told me the baby was
dead. I did not say anything because
/ hardly knew what to say. We
loved the baby and wanted to go t
the undertakers with it, l thought
II had been carried there 1 certainly
did nothing to cause death and dom
think my husband did. If l SAID
anything about wanting the baby t.
die to Dr. Lattimer l don't remember
it."
The concluding arguments will be
made this afternoon and the case
will go to the jury.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25
Special Court Term
For Vice War Trials

MACON, June pa special session
of the Superior Court will be held
during two weeks beginning June 30
for the trial of 70 liquor dealers
charged with violating the prohibition
law; twelve clubs similarly indicted,
So women accused of operating dis
orderly houses, and fifteen property
owners, charged with renting houses
for immoral purposes.
Jesse c. Harris, attorney, who was
indicted for perjury in connection with
the alleged election frauds last J,
will be called to trial on July 2.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-25

HAT SALE-Trimmed and untrimmed
hats at half price White shapes, CSC;
outing hats, CSC; panamas. s2.9S. Remod-
cling hats our specially, $3.50. Panamas
cleaned Mrs c. H Smith, lis Peach
tree Street, next to Gambler Building.
S2-22-6