Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-05
BY JAMES HAY. JR.


a member of its leading agricultural or scien-
tifc society is Sarawak, whose inhabitants
have heads as hard as the cocoanuts they
export.
Leland Ossian, in addition to being crack
shot at billiards, is shark at bridge whist,
a mighty man on the golf links, and dream
er of the third degree when he hears good
music. Furthermore, departing from the
habits and habiliments of science, he wears
neither baggy trousers nor long hair.
X7HEN Earl Goodwin was travelling
w through West Virginia during the
presidential campaign last fall for the pur-
pose of writing articles on political condi-
Using town and went to call on the post
master. Soon after the conversation began
big man rushed in and shouted:
"Bill Jones wants five dollars for his vote!'
That's an outraged" yelled the post
master 1--WE never paid him more than
three dollars before in all our lives. How
ever, compromise with him for four dollars.
doesn't the opposition ever send de-
tectives here to get onto the way you fellows
buy votes?7 asked the amazed Goodwin.
"Yes," said the official. "They sent six
detectives down here last election day.
"What did they do?" inquired Goodwin.
"Oh," said the postmaster in bored man.
ner, "they got arrested for carrying con-
cealed weapons"
SINCE the death of Vice President Sher-
~ man many stories have been told to IL
1ustrate his unfailing good humor and his
democratic, unassumlng tastes.
Late one night, when he was stopping at
one of the big hotels in Washington, he tele-
phoned down to the clerks desk for ice
water. He waited sometime; but there was
no response. He called again with the same
result. At last he grew impatient, took an
empty pitcher and, dressed in his pajamas,
went downstairs for the water.
After that the hotel service was excellent.
SENATOR BOIES PENROSE of Penn
~ sylvania is confirmed bachelor, and
one reason for his lack of interest in matri-
mony is his complete absorption in politics.
Once close friend advised him to marry.
do you think it would help the organiza-
ton in Pennsylvania" asked Penrose sol
emily.
"Of course it would. 1t would make you
happier and more contented, and you would
do more brilliant work
"Then I'll do it," agreed Penrose. "Ill
make any sacrifice for the good of the party
"Good!' said the friend enthusiastically.
"But hold on" added the Senator. The
committee will have to select the woman.
I'll marry anybody who meets the approval
of the State committee
W7HEN Oscar Underwood, Democratic
w leader of the House of Representa-
tives, was very young lawyer without ex-
perience of any sort, he appeared in his first
case in Birmingham, Alabama, with Judge
Bricknell, who had been Chief Justice of the
State Supreme Court, as opposing counsel.
Bricknell, famous for his hammer-and-
tongs method of abusing and ridiculing
young attorneys, put the youthful Under
wood on the grill and roasted him to rich,
dark brown. Underwood took all the abuse,
sarcasm, and irony without murmur, and
at last his time came. Addressing the court,
he called attention to decision of the SUI
preme Court which he proceeded to read.
al think this decision is sound" he said,
"and l ask verdict for my client on the
strength of it. 1t was handed down by that
distinguished expounder of the law, Judge
Bricknell, when he was Chief Justice.
Underwood won.