The Ordway new era., 1913-01-31
AN ARGUMENT
Dy ALLIE BROCK.

argument you ever saw" said the
man in the smoking car Of the subur-
ban train. "She always beats me at
anything Of that sort. The last time
l was shown up as false alarm In
applying logic to every day anairs
was no longer ago than yesterday.
when got home from the city last
evening my wife said to me: There
was q man here today to see about
fixing the flower beds and the garden
for the winter. He looked 80 shabby
and sort of homeless that l gave him
your other light overcoat.' III
"'That ought to be a good start to-
ward getting him a home I said In
mirth provoking way. 1t was thought
full move on your part. I suppose you
figured that some lonely widow along
the road would fall in love with him
when she saw the graceful lines Of
that coat enfolding him and would
rush out to haul him in
Don't try to be funny said my
wife.
"'What really interest me more
than his immediate future ! said, is
the object of his call. Did he wait
long enough to specify what was the
matter with our flower beds that need
ed fixing?'
my wife favored me with the stare
Of disdain which she considers espe
cially cutting and effective against my
kind Of sarcasm.
"'Why, I suppose he wants to fix
them up for the winter she said. I'm
not an expert on such matters, but
have an idea that some sort OF atten
ton must be paid to them before zero
weather comes. l told the man to
come back this evening and see you.
There being no adequate reply to
this under the matrimonial code, / al.
lowed the subject to drop and awaited
my visitor. He came with the shad
ows, adorned with my overcoat.
"T was wonderful, he said. If you
wanted your flower beds and your gar.
den fixed up for the winter. Then he
leaned restfully against the porch
pillar.
whats the idea?' asked. Won't
they be there next spring II leave
them alone all winter?
ayes, but you don't understand
the tired citizen explained. They
ought to be bedded down with ferti
Nzer-spaded up and covered over.
the way they nx EN- in the parks.
".And then what? I demanded. The
light of my household was listening
from the darkness Of the hall and
wanted her to see the uselessness OF
the appointment she had made for me
""Then your flowers and vegetables
will have a big start next spring. the
horticulturist explained. because the
ground will be ready for 'em. dc
this every year for most Of the peo
pie In this town. charge dollar for
my time and you pay for the fertilise,
and stun rsH
"'see here, you Initiation gardner
marked after had glared at him
moment, you're the worst booster for
yourself that ever came down that
road out there. Your efforts to get
a dollar out OF me are SO feeble and
amateurish that I'd have laugh all to
myself II I wasn't getting sort of tired
Of your kind of cattle.
"'You've got a lot Of nerve to say
that you bed down the vegetable gar
dens Of most of the people In this
town every year. SO they'll be ready to
do business with a rush in the spring
time.' I told him. Why. there isn't
another suburb on this branch Of the
railroad that turns out such worth
less lot of garden truck as this one
".Now I know what's the matter
it's all your fault. If you'd keep your
hands of the gardens and let things
alone people might have chance to
raise a few spring onions at cost OF
not more than IS dozen, and we
might even get an occasional radish
that wasn't a soggy sponge. Not con-
tent with getting my fall overcoat BY
merely standing around and looking
frostbitten, you expect me to give you
a dollar for taking exercise that would
keep you warm while you are spelling
my garden!'
"My caller shifted his weight to the
other foot and looked uncomfortable
for a few seconds, but he was ready
with his defense.
"well.' he said, a mans got to
live
"'There!' my wife exclaimed tri-
umprantly from the darkness behind
me. That's the point you always over.
look!'
$50 this morning that depressed
person was busy in our garden with
spade and wheelbarrow when I left
home. Lovely woman may not be
strong on the finer points OF logic,
but she certainly has the gift of win
ming in any argument" -Chicago
Daily News.