davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
EVENING CHAT
A Suggestion for He,sewives.
HI RUrA CAMERON.

If you want to get your home thor
oughly in order If you want to finish
those curtains which have teen hang
| ing fire so long, if you want to be sure
, of getting that table whose m AIRED
surface has long been an eyesore to
you, repolished at last, in short if you
want powerful motive that will force
you to do and have done within a def
mite time the innumerable little things
about the home which you have been
putting off for the last six months.
don't just make resolutions about these
things-have a party.
Tomorrow is my neighbours turn to
entertain her bridge club. Two weeks
ago she solicited advice as to the best
shade for a new couch cover. i've
had that money that Uncle John gave
me Christmas laid aside to get it, she
explained, land L need it shockingIy,
but l hate selecting a thing like thai
and I've been putting it off all this
time. Now 1 suppose I'll have to get
it."
Last week she made the new cur
tains for her bedroom for which she
has had the material on hand six
months. She also Numbered her bed
spread, the scarfs on her bureau and
dresser and her pin cushion, and had
her puffs cleaned. "Such a relief +"
she sighed as she displayed them.
They've needed it for weeks. but it's
ways being put Off"
This week she has had her living
room and guest room cleaned. Not
just ordinarily cleaned, you under
stand, but walls and ceiling and WIN
dows and bric-a-brac and magazine
clutter all thoroughly cleaned. Fur
thermore, she has polished all the sill
Yer, and secured the percolator, the
chatting dish and the fire set until you
can see your face in any one of them.
These are a few of her visible activ-
tiles during the past two weeks.
Doubtless she also attended to many
other little odd jobs which were not
made public.
Tired but happy. she surveys her
home tonight with an air of approval.
1T is a perfect joy to me to see things
looking as they should" she says, land
I'm going to try to keep them up
OF course there are some people
who never put off little odd jobs until
some day soon.'' They don't need
any coercion to help them get things
done. But for those who are not so
exemplary I repeat my suggestion-if
you want to be sure to do and have
done, within a reasonable space of
time, the thousand and one things
which you have been putting off for
the last six months, don't just resolve
to "do it now but send out your in
vitations for a party.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
RIAn THE WoMEN.


By far too true are the unpleasant words
That woman's vanity means death to
birds.
Her hats are monuments to feathered
The dead birds casket, the dead birds
tomb.
As true, again, although it's rarely said,
AS is the truth about the bfrd-plum ed
head,
Her vanity of things that she shall wear
Means death to mink, fox, rabbit, cat
and bear.
What still is true, her food means death
To more poor things than pen of mine
can tell
The oyster. clam, cow. lambkin, sheep
and hen,
The terrapin. the pig within its pen.
On womans shoulders all these horrors
fall,
And she admits them frankly, one and all.
Let her be blamed, although she does
not kill
Man, poor, weak man, but Stays to do
her will,
-Lurana Sheldon in New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
QUAKER MIrDTTATIONS.
IFrom the Philadelphia Record


One good turn deserves an encore.
Don't waste your time worrying about
the time you have wasted.
A well-trained memory-one that admits
of discreet forgetfulness.
Most things can be overdone. For in
stance, too many appetizers spoil the ap-
petite.
Be sure you are right. and you will be
pretty sure to believe everybody else Is
wrong.
Many a man seeks consolation in the
fact that he isn't as bad as he might be.
The theory that 1t is never too late 20
mend influences lots of us to coddle our
bad habits
Some fellows don't consider that they
being treated well unless they are be-
ing treated often.
Biobbs-"Skinnum says he hasn't dol
lar he can call his own" Slobbs-'No.
but he has good many he calls his
wife's."
The early bird that catches the worm
finds it a much longer wait till dinner
time than the lazy bird that has break
tasted late.
''All things come to him who waits -
quoted the Wise Guy. Yes, but he is
generally dead by the time they reach
him." added the Simple Mug.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News

Honest poultry dealers make money by
fair means and fowl.
When the society ball season ends that
of the moth ball begins.
The man who is anxious to buy usually
gets the worst of the bargain
A girl can make a man think she doesn't
know anything, enormously.
But when a mans face is broken it
never by any chance breaks into smiles. o.
The world owes US all living and some
go as far as the penitentiary to collect IL.
After a man has landed a political job
he begins to kick because the salary ism [
larger.
The young man who processes willing
ness to die for girl before marriage may
live to wish that he had.
Your friend will think 1t is a shame II
you make a lot of money by following
the advice he gave you, but which he was
afraid to follow himself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Congress having shown a reluctance
to appropriate for more than one
superdreadnought per annum, the ma
val authorities are planning to get the
biggest battleship they can think of
They will be willing next year to COM
promise on one battleship, provided it
shall have a displacement of 10000
tons and involve an expenditure of
$40, 100000. This leads the Philadel-
phia Record to suggest: IF battle
ships have got up to these figures
can't We get along with half a ship
per annum?"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

One of the men who made western
Kansas great is ]. E. Mulligan, of HUI
cotton. at the recent celebration of the
completion of the railroad to Hugotol
Mr.. Mulligan was chairman of the COM
mittee, presiding officer at the cele-
bration, umpire at the baseball game,
manager of the grand ball, and head
butcher at the barbecue. In every day
life he is successful lawyer, but when
1t comes to public service he is General
Activity.-Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
FROM OTHER PENS
BURGLARY BY SOFT sOA1

An important development in the
profession of burglary is reported 1t
seems that the professors take a soft
soap impression of the keys to flats in
new buildings and so prepare them
selves for efficiency in the future. They
are thus able to gain access to portable
property without being under the I'M
pleasant necessity of cutting through
doors and windows and scattering the
debris in a manner that brings dis
credit on a fine art.
While this particular application of
the method may be new IL is to be
noted that experts in soft soap impress
sions have been busy ever since the
serpent entered the garden. And some
of them have furnished themselves with
rings of keys as big as any janitor's.
They have explored heads and hearts
with the owners looking on approving
ly, secured room and board free of
charge by their adroitness, and even
made off with portable property because
OF their extraordinary skill.
Considering the history of mankind
IL is not strange that in the present
emergency the police are inclined to
take gloomy view of the posi- bilities
or SOFT soap.-Chicago Record.
FAILURE OR SUCCESS?
IL Secretary Bryan's errand in Cali
Iorn1a was to prevent alien-land legfs-
lation, 1T was failure If it was to
persuade the Californians to enact a
law In harmony with our treaty with
japan, 1t was a great success.
Ihere is no reason why any one here
should be more japanese than the
Japanese'or why, so long as they abide
by the treaty, we should pick flaws
in 1T on their account. 1t seems to
stand to reason that when local dema-
gogues revise their laws in harmony
with national obligations they have
uohe ABOUT all that can be expected of
them.
hlram Johnson's legislature started
out to violate the treaty in several of
It's most important clauses. 1t con-
cludes the episode by recognizing ev-
cry right That the. japanese can claim
under that agreement If Japan is NOT
satlshed with the bargain to which it
is party, we shall hear from it in due
tiIne' no doubt, through diplomatic
channels, but it is not CALIFORNIA; plaza
to move in the matter.J-New York
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Magdeburg, Germany, is to have
school for the special training of
women and girls as shop clerks. The
city of Berlin has already provided
such training by means of a special
course for salesgirls. Here lies a pos
sible solution of the question of liv-
ing wages for women. Fit them for
earning living wages and there will
be no necessity for a minimum wage
law
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is q member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full Gay
telegraph report of that great news IT
@anizatfon for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
THE news is received in The state Jour
nal building over wires for this sole puT-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Agitation for one reform follows
closely on the heels of another
Now it is the Objectionable songs
that are to be barred from the
public ear. Yet if the public did not
like them and pay money to hear
them, they would not be sung.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Father fn?" Nope" Mother imp
Nope" SISTER" Nope" Brother %
Nope" "Well. it strikes me as mighty
strange that even you are in" Il guess
they wanted TO play joke on me is the
reason they didn't tell me you was COM
in'.''-Houston Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Mrs. o. H. P. Belmont threatens to
Introduce militant suffragist methods in
the United States. By all means let
her start in on the New York gunner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

A st. Louis burglar robbed a woman
of three diamond engagement rings
What was she doing with three en-
gagement rings at one time?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

The oldfashioned man who used to
go down in the cellar with a lighted
match to look for a gas leak, says
the Boston Transcript, is now crank
ing his automobile with the clutch in.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Congressman Sisson bitterly opposes
all expenditures to increase the eff
cheney of the army and navy. And
now he wants war with Japan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Then again the horrible stories told
about the condition of Sing Sing
prison may be for the purpose of
frightening New Workers into being
good.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
by THE WAY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

Governor Johnson had his picture
taken while signing the alien land bill.
The cut shows him with a startled look
In his eye. which is aimed toward
Washington.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Clendennin. w. Va, is seeking a
mayor. Considering the time of year
this is, why doesn't it look for him
where the fishing is good?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Rum is now sent into Maine in the
form of a powder and is converted
into a liquid by the purchaser. The
demon" is ever resourceful.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Mr.. Wilson finds that in addition t.
being president of the United States
he has California and New Jersey OF
his hands.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Upton Sinclair has decided to live in
Holland. Windmills are already COM
mon there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

So far as the present is concerned
at least, Governor Hi Johnson prob
ably can lay claim to having put the
frisk in Frisco.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Most women are content to rock the
cradle. But over in England they are
also rocking the prime minister and
the members of parliament
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Probably just to show that Secretary
Bryan does not run the town, Lincoln
voted wet" at the recent election.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

A st. Louis judge rules that d.
vorced woman is not widow. At least
she usually isn't very long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

During these days of strikes and de
mands for more pay, the wages of sir
remain about the same
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Mr.. Napier is now satisfied that it
is impossible to suit everybody. He
says that after a recent cleanup in
Newton, one professional crouch emit
ted few shrieks of anguish because
he couldn't find an empty can to carry
fish bait.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

France has yet to devise some means
to prevent the wind from blowing
across the border from Germany.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

The Balkan league must have closed
its season as there has been no recent
report of game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
Signs of the Times.

There are 239 lawyers in congress
and still the president hopes for a
short session.
Cleveland has a dog that suffers
insomnia 1t has always been sup
posed that this aiIment was confined
to cats.
Prominent lecturer says Mexico has
no sense of humor. Still, Mexico in
vented chilli concarne.
All that is needed to make recon-
Citation complete is a group picture
of Bryan and Champ Clark holding
hands.
Camden, n. j., hen laid an egg which
contained scent piece, and still some
people claim there is no money in
poultry.
Hetty Green's son has decided NOT
to marry, after all. 1t seems too
bad when he is one of the few who
can really afford it.
1t seems as though if all Of the Eur
opean powers banded together and
fought their very hardest they might
whip Montenegro.
But up to the present moment the
Colonel and Mr.. Taft have not buried
the Ratchet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

is impossible to suit everybody. He
says that after a recent cleanup in
Newton, one professional crouch emit
ted few shrieks of anguish because
ne couldn't find an empty can to carry
fish bait.
OF course her act isn't worth over
dollar and six bits, but the manager
who is going to pay Evelyn Thaw
$4,000 week will not lose money,
1t is said that a sucker is born every
minute, but it has been proven that
there is q dee-eff born every ten sec
onds.
who asserted that all slim men are
hopeless cranks. Having had one in
her possession, temporarily, she is of
course qualified to Judge.
If all acts of violence are directly
traceable to Demon Rum. as some
agitators would have us believe, those
British suffragettes must be Awful
Boozefighters
Before trying to answer the famous
question: whats in a name?" we
prefer to get further dope on the
American Association umpire whose
name is Chill. We would fain discover
whether he is cool in the face of dan
ger or has cold feet.
And there remains also the posi-
bility that he might prove hot-headed
or a warm number.
A week ago. the press announced
that the Japanese were feeling Bit
ter. Now it is alleged the japanese
are feeling Better. Merely the change
of letter. like a needed dose of
Quinine and the result.
New Yorker 80 years of age has
been Jailed for beating his wife. They
adhere to their youthful ways a long
time in New York.
DIR. friedman and his turtle soup
seems to have thrown the American
pill-mixers into awful turtle stew.
There is only one woman out of
seven dozen who can receive and open
a telegram without getting cold feet.
The canary can beat a woodpecker
singing, but the woodpecker has him
skinned when it comes to digging bait
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17
ON 7HE SPUR
or THE MOMENT

BY ROY K. MOULTON

Mary and the Cooking School.
since sister Mary started in to go to cook
1t seems that she has got possessed II
one insane idea.
Iney teach her how to cook a thing and
she makes it rule
TO nike right home and mix it I'D and
try 1t out on me.
She says as how she amt quite SIRE that
she kin do it right,
But she Is going to dope it out and try
it just for fun; -
And If she gets the wrong things in sha,a
not disturbed a mite;
she says it's only me that's sick and
there is no harm done.
I've swallered her whole bill of fare. she's
- made me choke it down.
The things have got the blamdest names
- that most ever see.
III bet my hat there amt no kind in this
whole gol dinged town
Ihats lived on so much high toned gruo
the last six weeks as me-
She makes them there Cheese RaYnn,lsins
that taste like luke-warm glue,
And Venus Nectar, Russian Tea and
steak a la Creole,
Minced Partridge and Ham souffle and
Rechauffle of Turkey, too
she cooks them Angels on Horseback,
and makes me eat 'em whole
If any one had CHANGED to say. about six
weeks ago,
thought he'd lost his mind.
But now I'm on the brink of govt and got
dyspepsia so.
III have to take some treatment of the
Rockefeller kind
feel like takin' to the woods and never
comm back
I'm melancholy all the time and Stub
born a mewl.
My only joy, my appetite, has petered
out, alack,
Since sister Mary started in to go to
cookin' school.
But Mary made one bad mistake She
baked a pie of mince
She made her Teller eat a piece and he
amt been here since.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

Of course It was a Boston woman
who asserted that all slim men are
hopeless cranks. Having had one in
her possession, temporarily, she is OF
course qualified to Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-17

If all acts of violence are directl
traceable to Demon Rum, as som
agitators would have us believe, thos
British suffragettes must be AwfU
Boozefighters.
Norwich bulletin., 1913-06-13
ARBITRATION IS PROPER.

In urging arbitration upon Bulgaria and Ser<9a for the settlement of their dispute over the new boundary line the recent war, Russia has taken step which is due for much conrnen- dalton. and the indications of the suc- cessful outcome of such an effort is most encouraging to the countries of Europe It promises to bring about what the peace conference has been unable to secure. Ever since the suc- cess of the allies has been assured the after problem of adjusting the diff ferenceS concerning the land division has been realized There has been no to give up what has been gained by conquest. but the overlapping claims have put a serious aspect upon the sit uation and RusSia's good offices, if sue cessful will prevent general and pit iful fight over the spells which have been won at tremendous cost.
 The continuance of the Balkan war by Servia and Bulgaria or any other of the allies needs to be avoided, but with the war spirit at it's height and their armies ready pacifcation is not easy of accomplishment. Russia ex- tended proper advice since arbitration is the only sensible method of settling the dispute. Not only will it give the allies a better standing amongst them selves. but it will do the same among other nations. which have sympathized with their cause and their success.
Norwich bulletin., 1913-06-13
CHANGING ERDMAN ACT.

When Senator Newlands offered in the senate an amendment to the Erd- man arbitration act it opened the way for making changes in this national law which have been needed for some time, as several of the important mat ters which have been submitted to ar bifrRtion have demonstrated. As with many other important acts, it has been found that since it went into force needed changes have become appar- ents because of the results of opera ton. The labor disputes which have been waged against the railroads have demonstrated this most thoroughly. As now existing the act does not give the full benefit which is desired. or which it will be capable of. if the commits sion to which the controversies are submitted under it's provisions, Is in creased in number.
 As at present constituted too much responsibility rests upon one man. It lis upon him that the decision of the vital points must fall, since he is the one not representing the two sides of the dispute. It was because of this situation that the engineers case with the railroads went to a commission of seven, and for the same reason it was endeavored to avoid the Erdman act in the demands of the firemen against the railroads. The need of such na tional provision as the Erdman act is fully realized and it is necessary also that it. should be brought up to the best standard of efficiency. This can be done by the proper consideration of it's weak points and the application of remedial legislation
Norwich bulletin., 1913-06-13
WATCH YOUR STEP!
June the Marrying Month.
by The Conductor.

Me, an Lizzie's gonna get marri 9d in June. Hoorayi She said so, last night. l been f1ghtin up to 1t for six months, but I never had 'th face tc ask that girl to quit her folks an take a chance with me till yesterday. Her uncle Henry kept telIin' me no man ought to ask woman to marry i'm less he had 'leven hundred dollars in tn bank. He said he had moren that an didn't know any female he'd ask. She says it's men like Uncle Henry do more harm'n good, with their fool mo- tions, pilin' up money in tn bank an gettin' older am grouchier every day, so no girl that's a good fellow wants them.
 T made up my mind yesterday on my last trip uptown I'd ask her last night if her rain crow sister wasn't was settin' out on tn stoop by our selves before l was ready, l bet swallowed my Adams apple fifty times tryin' to start. She had to say Whats tn matter with you. Jerry, an 'en I blubbered it all out. She laughed so hard says: Oh. very well, just like that. an she commenced cry : in an 'en l put my arms right around her, an she was laughin' an cryin' an. -an'-weli, I got tn little ring out . my pocket. an she laughed harder cause she said I was putin it on her LuuIHp- <AD SHE -loOheu dL H. an say g Jerry. is it paid for?' I says, 'Yod bet it is. That ain't none O your in stal1ment rings"
 Then she says, Let's be engaged for a year But I says, Not on your life I've gone through more misery in the last six months 'thinkin some feilow'd steal you. or you might die, or | might die. or your maw might die. an this weddin' is gonna take place in June sure as little apples got seeds, Says l to her: Lizzie. l aint got any money. only got job. an Pm healthy as buck, an if you marry me this June, I'll work for you an make you glad you're Twin She laughs a4l' cries agin, an says: Jerry, I'd rather have you without a dollar n all tn other fellows with their money, Ma mans money ever bought a girls heart yet, Jerry. an Pm givin' you mine for nothin.' Yes, sir, we get married in June.
 Here's where you get off to 20 to tn city hali. young fellow
 Let 'em out. please; don't block tn way
 Watch your stepi"