The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-11
ON ZEE SPUR
OF The AOMENT
Autumn.
BY ROY K. MOULTON.

Autumn.
The leaves of the maple are turning,
! They're putting skid chains on the
cars,
Some furniture father is burning,
He hasn't bought hard coal thus far.
The field with ripe pumpkins is yellow
There's a chill in the evening breeze;
The apples are blushing and mellow,
And dad has Stuffed his B. V. DIS.
The fall clothes for mother are COM
ing,
And sisters new suit is a peach,
And brother Bits glad rags are or
dered.
His top coats a scream and a Screech.
Poor father has dug till he's tired;
His bank account is in arrears;
His old overcoat he is wearing
The one he has worn seven years.
According to Uncle Abner
A Teller can't get into good society
now unless he's got siX-cylinder car
and kin dance the tango, and then,
sometimes, the society he gets into
amt none too good.
They have got almost everything Qp
the chautauqua circuits nowadays ex-
ceptin' snake charmers.
1t always seems strange to me that
when a war breaks out most of the
married men are anxious to enlist and
hurry to the front on the first train
The only thing that kin be said in
favor of the celluloid collar is that it
is goin out of style as fast as it kim
Evidently nothing is ever going to
happen in this world which will en-
tlrely please George Bernard Shaw
a poet never gets credit for havin'
any business sense whether he has or
not.
Beauty used to be only skin deep.
but now it's skin deep and paint deep.
Now that finger bowls are being
abolished, Hank Tumms says it is time
to do away with lot of other fool
ISM tableware. He says the next thing
TO go should be the fork.
Every kids father used to inst love
to go to school.
1t VIII sit so after a while that the
tlfes VIII cost more than the car
The Diary of Bonehead.
ho,0 wake up. there is a burglar in the
mouse, whispered my wife. as She
and pushed | got up in my pale pink
paJamas, as I had done often before. and
around down stairs Continued ed nv Mf'! Vie
listened and I could hear him, too.
3een shot off since Grant was elected prest-
uent and started down stairs At the ton
OF the stairs l stepped on Willfe's tin
train of cars and we all went down to-
gether- When 1 fell the gun exploded and
shattered 500 chandelier in the hall.
v nen she heard the shot she opened her
bedroom window, ran out on the roof of
the porch and jumped off landing in a
rose bush She then fastened to a neigh
b9r's and called the police.
sat on the floor and listened I still
heard the burglar walking about but this
time he was in the basement. 1 rose and
Started 1cr the basement and fell over q
boX of bottled water which had been left
convenient on the landing. I went head
long down the cellar stairs and landed on
the cement floor, striking. squarely upon
my We'll developed dome of thought Still
the burglar tread softly about. Being
willing to linser in our midst after all OF
the noise had made, he must surely be
some burglar. That was my train of
When I felt able I got up and investi-
gated. l discovered a leak in a water
pipe and the water dropped on the top of
an old trunk. This explained the foot
steps of the burglar that we both had
heard.
The burglar scare had already cost me
and the plumber charged me $3.50 for
oyerhauling the pipes the next day.
Two or three hours after my wife called
them. the police arrived on the scene
armed to the teeth. I told them the
burglar had escaped up the road and they
Immediately started out the chase. I
hope they are going yet.