New-York tribune., 1913-11-17


In a small country church, not long since a @ nttle
child was brought forward for oapush inc youi,5
minister taking the little one in his arms spoke az
beloved hearers. one can foreteIl the future @
Of this little child. He may grow up to be great
ostrnnomer. Ike Sir Isaac Newton. great labor
leader like John Burns; and IL Is poss,o'e he "s"'
become the Prime Minister Of England
Turning 10 the mother' ne HquHeu' ' " "
name OF the child?' MA.
MARY Ann" was the rcply-Tit-Bits'
"yybo ;s Governor Of New York;" Justice Emerson
asked a candidate for naturalization at Watertown
Charles F. Murphy" the unhesitating an
swer.
and who is Martin II. Glynn?' asked the JUS
tice.
"He is the one they put in after sulzer was laid
off" -
The applicant admitted to citizenship Inc
Syracuse Post STANDARD" informs us.
"I am thinking of touring in South Africa next
Tote pv advice and don't" replied the villain
"An ostrich egg weighs from TWO 10 tHree pou'i''
Tit Bits
Report says that Carnegie's physician has ordereu
him to take glass Of Scotch whiskey each day
Hague and Hague?
81 always have tough luck"
whats the matter?' ,, o,
81 paid Brown So that I borrowed from him several
weeks ago"
"He said afterward that he'd forgotten all about
it"-Detrot Free Press.
An American traveller about TO leave his London
hotel TO make connections by train with New 1orh
bound steamer, had just given servant hoeia
tip II 'ope sir" the servant said, that you ave
seen the Abbey"
NO" replied the American, but shall sup
pose | must tip him, too"
"I see that only fifteen out of every one hundred
Mexcans able to read and write . .u
Mexico evidently is a country in which not every
body trying to write play or contribute 10 the
magazines Chicago Record Herald
The story Of the lad who cried "Wolf!' to fool his
neighbors had a modern version the other night IN
an uptown apartment house. Miss II. began TAKING
music lessons Everybody heard her and got more
or less used to it, They tried not to pay any aten-
ton to It, But the other night Miss II. started TO
ye-as usual. every thought-and the neigh
bors went right trying to pay no attention TO IT,
AS a matter of fact Miss II. had found burglar In
her apartment, and he got away with MISS H. s
Jewels just because every did go right on pay
ing attention to her.
"They are always talkin about the wonders Of
electricity" said Farmer Corntossel but there's one
OF its greatest achievements they don't mention
ITO what do you referT
The way it has killed off the fellers who made
jokes about people who went TO town an DleW out
the gas."-Washington star.
Among the many Stories WiiiSh 'io '0'N"'"''" va
Verdi's one hundredth birthday responsible for
was this printed originally In "The Florence Ma
zionne": Camille Saint-Saens was present when
Verd's Hymn of All Nations was rendered for the
first time at the opening ceremonies of the Worlds
Fair in London, and he gave this reason for the
failure of the composition: The hymn was ar
ranged to introduce the national anthem OF the vari
Gus countries, and not knowing that the Mar
seillaise was at that time in bad repue it was used
as representative Of France. The Emperor Napoleon
when he heard the strains, turned pale, and the
knowing ones in the audience were greatly en-
barrassed that in the great throng dared ap
plaud. Yes, man did applaud, and that was l.
Napoleon arose in his box and directed his opera
glass toward me, and l looked at him through my
glass; After few moments the Emperor hurredly
departed"
Has his family got skeleton in the closet?'
81 don't know about what they've got in the closet
but they've got one in hobbe skirt."-Town Topics