The Washington herald., 1913-12-29
Statesmen, Real and Near.
By FRED c. KELLY.

| By FRED c. KELLY.
Senator John Sharp Williams. Of Mis-
sissippi, has a bright young son who Is
eighteen and apace with all the latest
things in nifty apparel. One OF the
young mans favorite sartorial devices Is
mOdish little green velour hat with a
bow attached aft, and a bare suggestion
Of brim-Ons Of those hats such as
have lately swept over almost the en-
tire country, ignoring State lines ami
social barriers. The Williamses had al
lowed the hat to come into the house
and when not In use II was likely to be
found purring contentedly on the hat
rack along with the rest of the hats.
Now, Senator Williams is notoriously
absent-minded and never knows what
Rat nc is picking up when he starts out
OF the house. He is lucky II he remen-
bers to put on any hat at all. The one
he really aims to wear. though, is a
statesman-like old SLOUGH hat of the
type Congressman nave worn in the car
toonists drawings ever since we have
mad Congressman. That Is the only hat
he looks natural in.
One morning he started away In a
hurry and You can guess, maybe what
happened.
When he entered the Senate wing of
the Capitol, two 3Ulored employees who
were passing took one look and burst
right out into hearty laughs. They
couldn't help II. The elevator man man
aged to control himself. but he smiled IN
way that began to get old John Sharp
williams mad. On the next floor a door
tender chuckled out loud and the Sena-
tor became really angry. He looked
himself over to see II he had all his
clothes on. or il he had spilled anything
on himself, but could see nothing to
occasion so much ribald merTiment. As
he proceeded into the Senate cloakroom
he saw two or three colleagues give
him a strange look. They did not laugh
or even smile, because they happened to
be Senators who rarely smile lest il
should not conform to Senatorial dig
nifty. but the funny glance they gave
was enough. Again old John Sharp look
ed himself over to see what was miss
ing.
When he took of his hat he found out.
And he was in a vicious humor all the
rest OF the day.
That night when he got home he
slammed the little green velour hat on
the rack and jumped all over his son.
But father" suggested the younger
MIR. Williams. how can You blame me?
DID tell you 10 wear my nat
THE point is" retorted John Sharp
that there shouldn't be such a hat as
that in the house"
Admiral Robert f. Peary. the North
Pole man. is often seen lately going
about the streets of Washington wearing
a big overcoat.
There would be nothing astonishing
~
this winter Peary rarely if ever wore an
1vercoat when walking. For the first
year or two after he returned from tn
Arctic regions he couldn't bring himself
TO bundle up in an overcoat in so mild
/ climate as this 1t was not only that
le didn't feel the need of it, but he
liked the physical freedom Of being
But everybody he met re-
marked to him:
suppose the winters here do seem dread
,ully hot to you"
After you've had the same remarS
made TO you a few thousand times. you
get tired hearing it, and are
willing TO put on or take off almost any
hing that will change your luck.
So Peary now puts on an Overcoat Just
Ike anybody else.
statesmen nave IlelE llII4e NAulueSs
much the same as prima donnas-
The other day James R. Mann. the Re
ublican floor leader. was carrying on
sordy ioust with Oscar Underwood. the
leader.
In the midst of il. Representative Car
In. of Virginia. who was seated near
lam. jumped up to join the melee.
sit down" Mann ordered him in a
oarse stage whisper: you're not big
noUgh 10 get into this
And Carlin sank back into his seat
nth a gasp
Senator James Hamilton Lewis went
ltO a barber shop the other day and
'hiIe there the barber squirted a lot
perfumery on him. II was a par
crIarIy aromatic brand Of perfume and
eemed to have been made from calla
lies.
Within an hour after he emerged from
ne barber shop, Senator Lewis had a
all from a colored man.
All the time they were talking. the
sitor kept looking about him and
up his face as II greatly dis
'aught
Lewis asked him what it was that
eemed TO be worrying him.
II don't know what it is said the
,lored man. but the's sump'n around
yah that smells jes' like I was at a
neral"
Senator Borah, OF Idaho. seldom reads
book unless it fits into his reading
system" He maps out weeks in ad-
ince what he is going to read and II he
cks up book on theology when II is
IS week to read political economy. the
Zoology has to wait its turn. When
Yer he reads he places some sheets of
lper and a pencil in his book and
kes notes to help encrust the informa-
on on his mind. He remembers actual
ties.
Although he reads a great deal from
me to time. Borah scarcely ever reads
book by Z. Phillips Oppenheim.
Opyright, 1913, BY Fred C. Kelly. All rights
serTrd.l
-. H.. 4. naI-.a.