The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1913-07-12

her Surely the very walls will fall
if Irmingarde goes" And the other
answered, brokenly, "She is the bearer
of our torch" An Irish lay Sister
who was on her knees polishing the
floor, stopped them to ask for news
and after they had answered and
passed on, she remained on her knees
huddled in a queer little bunch, pray
ing, with her face in her hands, and
her tears falling between her fingers.
l was at Sister Cecilia's door now
and l opened it and went in with re-
luctant feet Sister Cecilia has been
my teacher for years, but have never
loved her, though love her music.
The girls say she puts the best of her
self into that. Certainly, there doesn't
seem to be much left to go anywhere
else. She teaches only few of the
most advanced pupils, and she wants
them to devote every minute to music.
We have a dreadful time making her
see that there are other duties at ST.
Katherine's which require our atten-
ton, too-such as our studies. She
expects more from Janet Trelawney
and from me than from anybody else,
and if it were not for Sister Irmin-
garde, she would plant us both on
piano stools and keep us there until
we graduate and leave school. But
when she gets too impossible, Sister
Irmingarde drops into her room, and
they have little visit, and Sister
Cecilia is lovely and reasonable for
weeks afterward.
Today, after the first minute or two,
was glad l was with her. She is so,
cold and severe that I would never
think of crying on her, and as she
never thinks of anything but music,
knew she would keep me up to the
mark. We greeted each other politely
Eve are always as formal as if we
were meeting at teal, and sat down
at the piano and began to play the
Chopin Nocturne in G minor, while
Sister Cecilia roamed about the room,
the way she always does, stopping
short when things go wrong, and
sometimes breaking into dreadful
little groan if she thinks they are
worse than usual. Today she was very
quiet, but l shouldn't have minded if
she hadn't been. I forgot her.
The Nocturne fitted into everything
else, and at first l didn't mind playing
it. Sister Cecilia had large music
room with two big windows overlook
ing the convent garden. was playing
without notes-she always makes us
memorize everything for the second
lesson on it-and from where | sat |
could look out over the garden to the
infirmary wing of the convent-the
wing where at that very hour Sister
Irmingarde lay dying. I looked from
window to window, and wondered
which room she had Then I decided
that / knew, and 1 seemed to see the
room itself, with the great doctors and
nurses working over her, fighting
death, and nuns praying close beside
| her.
1 was playing the Gregorian chant
in the Nocturne by this time, but
didn't realize it until suddenly the
Alleluia rang out. l had loved that
while l was practicing tits so big
and victorious and triumphant; but
now, at the first note of it, something
in me gave way with sudden snap,
and stopped playing and crumpled
up over the keyboard. How could
play an Alleluia when Sister Irmin.
garde was dying? How could ever
play or do or be anything again when
she was gone?
I felt hand on my shoulder, and
knew in vague way that it was Sis
ter Cecilia's. l remembered what Sis
ter Harmona had said about going on
with ones work, and wanted to do it,
but l couldn't; and / didn't want to
explain to Sister Cecilia, for felt
sure she wouldn't understand. But
heard myself saying, ITO have Sister
Irmingarde die is the one thing can't
bear-I simply can't bear it." And
something inside of me went on say
ing over and over again, as if it were
bit of machinery wound up to go
forever: Il can't bear it. l can't bear
it. can't bear it"
Sister Cecilia moved away from me
and crossed the room. For long time
she did not speak, and was glad, for
it gave me chance to pull myself to-
gether When she did, her voice was
so strange that l sat up and looked at
her. She was staring out of the win
dow toward the infirmary, and her
face had the look every face in st.
Katherine's had that day.
Cant bear it." she said. And she
added, slowly, 81 think that is the way
we all feel"
She stood for moment longer,
looking toward the infirmary When
she spoke again, l knew she had for
gotten me and was thinking aloud
I'VE took her." she said, ''as we take
everything if the wonder of her,
the miracle of having her with us, was
no more than our due. We had a
genius here, and we harnessed r to
the pillow. We have killed her among
us-God forgive us!"
Then her eyes fell on me, and she
remembered, and crossed the room
and caught me by the shoulders as il
she wanted to shake me.
Are you blind, too?" she asked
you little geese in her classes? Oh
do you know what you have had in
her? If you do-if even one or two OF
you have the faintest glimmer of it in