davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
MUTINY OF THE SWISS GUARDS.

One who considers the subject merely from the
historical viewpoint would expect mutiny from almost
any body of men rather than the Swiss Guards of the
Vatican, whose demands have just been rejected by
Cardinal Merry del VAL Ever since the Swiss who
defended Louis XVI perished, faithful unto DEATH al
the hands of Paris mob, we have been accustomed
to associate these guards with the ideal of conspicu
Gus fidelity The recent disturbance in Rome will tend
to shatter the illusion. -..
Their three complaints were such that the rejec.
ton of all will hardly surprise. Insstence tina,
their officers be chosen from their own number might
be expected from militia company, but not from
these guardians of the Pontif's person and palace
even though many of their duties nowadays amount
to pageanty only MOI is there anything soldiery in
the further demand that ihey be relieved of irksome
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Best Looks.

Joseph G. CANNON, former Speak
er of the House and visitor to
Washington now, was standing on
~ the sidewalk on Pennsylvania ave-
nue. recently talking with friend, when
an elderly. quick-stepping man ap-
preached.
Excuse me-" said the elderly man,
but I've been watching you and won,
dered II I'd ever seen you before"
Mr.. Cannon smiled in answer.
DO you know" continued the elderfy
man. IT thought at first you were Uncle
Joe Cannon"
They say that Uncle joe and Shelby
Cullom both look like me-" responded
the eN-Speaker.
well. / don't know about that" said
the elderly man, but III say this for
you-you're a durn sight better looking
than either of them. Inter
Ocean.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Usual Result.

TTORNEY W. II. BOYD can lose
~ more umbrellas than any man
~ in Cincinnati. Time after time
he blossoms forth, equipped
with a highly ornate and exceedingly
expensive umbrella, and by the time
evening comes there Is nothing left but
disgusted look.
One rainy day last week Boyd ap-
peared at downtown cafe for his
luncheon, and sat at table with
James A. Newkirk County Commission
er Elrick and Martin Thumm.
Boyd was desperately clutching new
umbrella.
This doesn't belong to me-" he
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
CHAOS AND ANARCHY.

The people who want Huerta's administration OF
treason and murder recognized in Mexico always
urge that if it isn't recognized there will be nothing
ahead but anarchy and chaos.
What of it? There seems to be nothing there now
but anarchy and chaos; and anarchy and chaos found
ed on purpose of restoring liberty and order would
at least be preferable to the anarchy and chaos which
represent the treachery and assassination program
which ushered in Huerta
Even anarchy and chaos have their degrees. They
should be served II possible, without assassination
sauce. -. ~. -.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
GOOD STORIES

announced. Il borrowed It and I don't
Intend to lose It."
Tie 1t to the table leg" Thumm
suggested.
Get the waiter to hold it for you,'
Elrick volunteered.
Have 'em put 1t in the safe" New
kirk advised.
Boyd ignored them all. He placed the
umbrella on the floor and planted both
feet firmly upon 1t. to the hilarious
delight of his friends. Then, when he
finished his luncheon, he walked away
and left it.-Cleveland News.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
What's on the Program in
Washington Today

Meetings, evening: Social session of
Canton Washington, No. 1. Patri-
archs Militant.
Meeting of John C. Daley. Council, No.
3, Independent Order Sons of Jonadab,
temperance Hall. 643 Louisiana ave-
nue. northwest, D. m.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

hold.
You saw these blows administeredT'
asked counsel.
Yes, SIR" replied the witness.
Did you witness the beginning OF
tho quarrel between Mr.. and Mrs.
Dash?'
II did"
when was it?"
"Six years ago.
sible?"
II was a guest at their wedding," ="
said the witness.-Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Amusementa
Wouann

columbia-"A Contented Woman"
2:15 and S:15 p. m.
Sherry" AIS and s:ls
Glen Echo-All amusements.
Shavy Chase Lake-Concert by Marine
Band. dancing; .s,n and s6a o5asr .,s asmusemsnss.
nna MP Park-Dancing and other amuss.
,Iarshan Hali-Boats leave Seventh
street wharf 10 a. m. ESQ .. m. and
$50 p. m.
River View Park-Boats leave Seventh
Colonial Beach-Steamer 81. Johns
leaves Seventh street wharf every day
except Monday at a. N. Saturday.
- .. N.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Newspaper Tales We Have Met.

Tie hoodoo story of the man who WAS
born on the thirteenth OF the month.
has thirteen letters in his name, Is to
be married on the thirteenth of so-an-
so, 1913. and had to wait Just thirteen
minutes for his marriage license.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Our Southern Correspondence.

@. 8. K: The Most Maiigned Thing:
The Atlantic and West Point railroad.
Explanation: NAL" meaning bad"
'1igne." or 'line;" hence, bad line. /"
II is.
Hogansville. Ca, July "a.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
Things Other People Want to Know

Things Other People Want to Know.
G. H. G.: why, every time 1 want
TO mount a center-entrance car people
always are coming out the side I am
standing by, forcing me to wait while
folks are getting in the other side and
taking all the seats"
why" queried friend of ours, do
you make the final paragraph so short :
I'd like" he continued. indicating a
space several inches in length, Ito see
one about so long"
Writing final paragraph about so
long strikes US as an extremely simple
proposition.
Here 1t is:
So long.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

Add Popular Fallacies: The belief
that a pianola cannot be distinguished
from a piano. The music It gives, we
mean.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

Tho worlds saddest baseball head
Hope For Even Break"
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

The southern Chinese provinces have
organized an anti-imperial Yuanicn
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
As the. Boy Saw Him.

ERE is another proof that we can
never see ourselves as others
see us. This time It is supplied
in a story told by Congressman
"Some time ago." said the Congress-
an the ticket agent of an Ohio rail-
rnad was called to the brass-barred
,s,ndow of his little office. Before the
,,indow. stood a motherly little woman.
Beside her stood bright-faced boy:
"PIease, SIR" said the motherly little
woman. addressing the agent, what
time does the next train leave for Co.
iumbus?"
.ha agent, with a slight air OF annoy
ence, II have already told you that no
less than six times In the last hour"
II know you have, sir" gently return
al the motherly little woman, but
Johnny likes to see you come to the
window. He says II reminds him of the
Zoo."-Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
No; Our Friends All Work Them With
Toothpicks.

g. s. K: Are you acquainted
with the pernicious pest who gives
one little catch problems with matches
to work out? Let's organize a league
to get him!
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

DEMONSTRATING THE THEORY THAT
MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER
THAN BACHELORS.
Prom The 'Times.')
The bill sets forth that the couple were
married in Feruary. 1904. and lived together
until July Is. 1913.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

Speaking Of zero, which is MOTH
ing to speak of. the firm of Nix &
Nutting is in BUSINESS in Atlanta. Ga.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
LIMO.

The eminence Of insipidness: The av-
erage Republican cartoon of Mr.. Bryan.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

''Will the Johnson cup" kids SemIn-
ole. ''be presented at the platter" We
don't know. But fork over.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26
When It Began.

FRIEND of the family had been
summoned to testify, much
against his will, as to domestic
disturbances in a certain house
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

Hogansville, Ca, July a.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

So long.
The Washington times., 1913-07-26

Our attitude on Ambass Henry Lane
Wilson is a neutral one, but we know
we should be slightly for him If he'd
LET 60 Of the Lane and style himself
Henry L
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
SOCIETY GIRLS
WHIP STRANGE
BUNNY HUGGER
Fascinated by Watching Dancers
UNLIMITED Terpsichorean Joins
in Merrymaking.

NEW YORK, June 14.-Charged
with hugging young women, John
Pedro. of Sherwood Park, Yonkers,
was arraigned in police court in that
city yesterday.
Miss Beau Ewing, socially promi-
nent in North Yonkers, caused his ar
rest after young women he had seized
outside of the fashionable Amackas-
sin Club thrashed him for his imper-
thence.
A private function was going on in
the clubhouse. Piedro, while passing
the grounds, heard the orchestra play
ing and was seized with a fascina-
ton for dancing.
Taking Miss Lillian Harvey, OF
Ardsley, by the arm he tried to make
her dance the bunny hug" She
screamed, but Pedro kept right on
with the dance until she landed her
closed fist upon his nose. He quickly
stopped embracing her and looked
around for a new partner.
Next on his program was Mrs.
Philip Munder, who was hurrying to
catch a Street car. when his arm en-
circled her waist. Mrs Mundel
fought him off with blows from her
meshbag and fed
Pedro went on changing partners
while Miss Ewing and other women
who witnessed his antics kept the
telephone in police headquarters busy
with appeals for protection.
Policeman Thomas arrested the in
truder and took him before Judge
Beall, who remanded him for exam
ination as to his sanity.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Duchess, Tango Mad,
Dances With Waiter
Teacher Of South American Terpsi.
ehorean Fad Loses Titled Pupil
When She Discovers Error.
.peeIaI cabIe 70 rhe AmerIean.

Paris, June 1.-THE tango in Paris
has become even more than a craze. II
is now an obsession. One sees it, hears
its tunes. and listens to talk of il
everywhere. There are no morning
tango parties yet, but these viii come,
no doubt. and now that society women
have adopted the craze, and are to be
seen in public places dancing this South
American importation after luncheon. or
taking lessons in the art at "Cours de
Tango, Avec The Cango lessons with
tea) at skating Kinks and elsewhere.
there is no reason that the craze should
die
It will, of course. die one Of these
days-as suddenly as rinking has died
here. And, meanwhile. there are sew
eral amusing tango stories The young
Duchess DeQ-- was so inS!sJent TO
have a young man who danced beauti-
fully introduced to her that the profess
sor murmured an Italian sounding name
and introduced him. Nine. LaDuchesse
danced and firted with her partner for
lwO hours that afternoon.
He waited on her in the evening at
he Restaurant Pivoine and the tango
teaCher has lost a titled pupil now.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Paris AStrolOger
ForeSaW Burning
of st. GATHERINGS
Wrote Letter to Vicar Year Ago TeIi-
ing Him of Destruction of
Edifice by suffragettes.
Special Gable to The American.


LONDON, June 14.-That a Paris
astrologer predicted the burning o.
St GATHERINGS Church. which was de-
stroyed by suffragettes recently. was
the statement made here by the Rev,
Howard Truscott.
This time last year." he said, Il
received a letter from man in Paris,
an astrologer. 1t read:
Allow me, sir, to give you a test.
In May, 1913, on the 9Th. you will
lose something particularly dear to
you, but you viii save something
very dear to you.
"on May "a, 1913. you will re-
ceive a royal message.
From the 18th to the gath a
prominent politician will communi-
cate something Of interest to you
Il never thought anything more
about the letter" added Mr.. Trus-
scott, until on the very day named
Queen Alexandra and Mr.. Balfour
sent communications to me. and ]
found in the choir OF the burnt
church, still surrounded by debris
but unspOtted. a book which ! treas
ured very much. indeed"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

salaries have never made Rockefel-
Ian fortunes.
The success Of Mutt and JEFF car
ried him 10 New York and to golden
opportunity. Manufacturers wanted
10 use Mutt and Jeff trademarks
They were willing TO pay well for
the privilege and Fisher was willing
to take the money "A theatrical
manager wanted TO put out Mutt and
JEFF shows. Fisher was all smiles
when the royalty from these pro-
auctions poured IN. Moving picture
producers wanted the pair on their
films. Fisher consented promptly
when their figure was named.
At Last in Vaudeville.
A manufacturer Of statuettes re-
produced them in plaster. Again the
cartoonist's pockets bulged. Then
Fisher E0r offers from vaudeville
managers and though vaudeville saIa b.
ries are not always Of Cardoza pro
portions still they are not To be
scoffed at Anyhow. as a result Of
the few years Of Mutt and Jens life.
Fisher is practically assured of the
fact that he will not starve in a gar
reC
Small wonder that he SAYS Tart
pour Tart, bah. L'art pour rargent-
that's mine"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Famous Cartoonist in Atlanta This
Week---Admits He Won't Rival
Raphael and Won't Starve.

brandt or one OF those fellows who
have TO live on a sou day in the
Quarter Latin" said Fisher on his
last visit here. and. believe me. ]
don't want 10 be From what I've
been able TO learn most Of the mas
tiers starved in garrets and had their
work sold for two or three hundred
thousand dollars a century or SO
afterwards when the process Of evo-
luton had brought them back into
the world in the being Of an earth
worm or a rhInoceros or something
else that don't need money anyhow.
Doesn't Long for Quarter.
Il can't see their game. Now
rather expect chat If they ever find
the Mona Lisa again. the critics viii
say that from an artistic point NJ
view IL has something on a study
OF Jeffs being baItef on the bean
with a sad iron. but as long rs Mutt
and JEFF continue 20 bring ME three
or four square meals a day some
thing 10 wear. and plenty to eat and
something in my pockets except
hands. why. I'm willing 90 let as
many OF them starv1 in the Latin
Quarter as choose TO- They won
find me in the competition
And Fisher has ECoG reason 20 PEE
grateful Io the tan fellow with the
long nose and the little fellow VITA
the bald head and H1i=Esrs. when
Doe FIRST Grew rEH pair be- was draw
ing cartoons and a newspaper slllr,
on the Pacific Coast and ueWsrape
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
WILL
SEEK CAUSESO Of
CHICAGO CRIME
Blood Tests Will Be Made to
Ascertain if Health Has Led to
Criminal Career.

CHICAGO, June 14.-William Dun
can McNally, chief chemist of the
health department, yesteday was ap-
pointed by Cornoer Hoffman 10 the
post Of chief chemist Of the newly
established coroner's laboratory. The
laboratory is expected 20 prove a
great factor in determining the causes
of crime in this country.
Blood tests are to be made Of per
sons convicted in the Morals Court to
determine If disease was a contribut-
ing cause of their downfall. The
Morals Court is the first of its kind
TO be established in the United States,
Hope to Cure Disease.
Not only will an effort be made to
learn with scientific eXactness the link
between crime and disease, but the
blood tests are to pave the way to
cures Of the diseases which are caus-
ing the tendency 10 crime.
Careful comparisons will be made
of the results of blood tests of differ
ent persons accused Of the same type
of offense This viii be done with
minuteness In cases Of persons con-
victed Of crimes where moral degen-
eracy played a part In addition,
chemical analysis viii be used in the
ferreting out of crimes Of all kinds.
Mr. McNally as chief chemist was
the choice of the committee of seven
headed by Chief Justice Harry Olson,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
D0LL-MAD WOMAN THOUGHT
HER BABY BURIED WITH HER

TRINIDAD, COLO, June 14-In
the coffin containing the body of Mrs.
Florence Stancel, buried here, was
placed a life-size doll, which for a
ear the woman insisted was her
child
Ever since the death of her year
old baby the mothers mind was at
fected.
She washed, dressed and cuddled
Ire doll every day.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
CLOTHED BOY SAVES GIRL
WHILE BATHERS LOOK ON

JOPLIN. MO, June 14.-While
seven young men in bathing suits
watched Miss Helen Champion, sen
Tor in the High School, being carried
down stream after she had fallen into
a river near here, Austin Owen, also
a senior leaped into the water with
his clothes on and saved her from
drowning. The near drowning oc-
Cured when the senior class was
holding its annual picnic. Miss
CHAMPION was standing on plat
form at the boat landing when she
fell into the river. The water was
about Is feet deep and swift.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
No Babies In U. S. In
5000 Says Doctor

INDIANAPOLIS June I4-Dr
John y Hurry. Secretary Of the In
diana Board Cf Health. predicted AZ
b meeting Of rae Funeral Directors
Association that this country viii
become Gep1puiare6 at the end Of the
next 1900 years unless the storS be-
gins tg pay more frequent visits 20
she average American home
Ir H--tr said tEl- u the capacity
for motherhood continues 20 decrease
as lr tle past ty the year 5000 no
children TI. ha born Ia the year
90 chem. wE boz DO children unG Ur
give years "t age Hr. that long bee
fore ..a. date r-a death rate WiE Gar
eAr-e. -.. t.rH rate Ta. process
~ den citation. E. declared already
IS berirr lr
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

When Bud" Fisher. famous creator
Of the Mutt and JeH cartoons. ar
-ives In Atlanta this morning to be
gin his weeks theatrical engag e-
ment the first thought that viii flash
through the mind that makes Mutt
black Jen's eye three hundred am
sixty-five or so days in a year. VIII
be what am going 20 take out of
this fair city,"
on his last visit. Fisher took a
promise Of marriage from the young
woman who now answers 10 the
name Of Mrs Fisher" and enough of
Jake Wells money TO finance a chair
Of anJhropology in the Western Uni
versity. according to Hugh Cardoza,
who is more or less truthful when
talking Of Jake Wells money.
L'Art Pour L'Argent.
This time though. Mrs. Fisher is
along and time has told on the imagi-
nation Of Car6ozs. But Fisher VIII
leave Atlanta with something. De
pend on that
For though Fisher makes his Iiv-
ing with pen and ink or paint ami
brush. or whatever other Implements
OF warfare artists use. he does not
believe iu Tart pour Tart" Rather
he is "a firm believer 90 the theory
that there IS more happiness ana
gverytainE else iu the motto Tart
UHsr .HrEent-'
y may be no Raphael or Rem
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

NOnG- TX 0-ti liz 80
painless way-the new plan corn
cure. "GETS-IT." Watch it get
rid of that corn, wart, callous or
bunion in a hurry, "GETS-IT" is
as sure as time. 1t takes two sec
onds to apply-that's all. No band
ages to stick and fuss over, no
salves to make corns sore and turn
true flesh raw and red, no plasters,
no more knives and razors that
NAV cause blood poison, no more
digging at corns. Just the easiest
thing in the world to use. Your
corn days are over "GETS-IT" is
guaranteed. II is safe, never hurts
healthy flesh.
Your druggist sells "GETs-IT,"
25 cents per bottle, or direct If
you wish, from z. Lawrence & Co,
Chicago.
Sold in Atlanta by Jacobs Phar-
macy Company. Elkin Drug Company,
Coursey & Mum. Gunter- Watkins
Drug Company, p. H. Cone, Inc, Tip
ton & Company.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
PASTOR BLiNES
FINERY FOR HIS
BROKEN HOME
breaches Sermon On "Great
American Vice" In His Answer
To Wife's Divorce Suit.

KANSAS CITY. June IA sermon
on the love Of money and fnery was
Andrew Mathers' answer 10 a suit
brought by his wife in the Circuit
Court here Mathers is a wealthy con-
tractor. He recites that he began
life as stonemason. working for
day wages, but as success came. to
him he bettered his position in life
until he was able to provide his wife
with diamonds, fine clothes, motor
cars and an expensive home.
Love Of Finery Came.
But the vice Of American life, the
love OF spending money and Of fine
things. crept in faster than my in
come increased he says in his an
swer His wife, he alleges, became
spoiled. willful. proud and overfond
Of having her own way"
Her domination over me advanced
in the same way" he alleges. she
blamed me for everything that hap
pened II It rained when she was
going out she acted as II had
special arrangement with Providence
10 spoil her pleasure She no longer
belonged to the race OF meek and
lowly. She was imperious and self
wiIled. believing in divorce as a cure
for all family ills, believing in II the
more because / opposed this system.
The attainment OF happiness, Math-
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

after many other candidates for the
post had been examined.
Poison Cases SimPlified.
THE establishment Of this labora %
tory long las been needed in this
city" said Coroner Hoffman. 1T will
be invaluable in poison cases and in
determining the question Of human
blood as distinguished from that of
animals. Last year I had any num-
ber OF ptomaine cases in which il
was impossible to thoroughly inves-
tigate because of the lack of a lab
oratory.
Il have no doubt that many cases
reported TO me as ptomaine poisoning
might have been caused by other
poisons or by disease. That is where
this laboratory viii prove its worth.
Il won't be possible to be mistaken
about a poison case when the chemist
gets through
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

ers SAYS. has been lost sight OF COM
pletely by his wife. Blinded by sell
FISH ambition. he says and guided by
self-wiu and pride. she is throwing
away an domestic peace without car
ing for the future or She wellbeing
OF her children
Mathers denies the allegations Of
his wife that he drank and abused
her. He admits that he objected
when she locked him out Of the house
He asks that her petition for divorce
be denied and that she be admonished
10 return 20 her home and duty.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Premier'S Daughter
viii Wed Joiner
Danish Prime Minister Consents to
Union When He Finds Girl Has
Learned Carpenters Trade.

COPENHAGEN. June l4.--1Il-s An
Ia Bernstein. the 1s-year-ald aauEH-
Ter Of AIr. Klaus Bernstein. the Dan
ish Premier. has found her romance
in a carpenters shop
For four years Miss Bernstein has
been working as "a joiuer's pupil 81
skiuful is she az her craft than she
Las now obtained license emitting
her % set up as q Joiner herself
Some time ago she became Sc
cretlv engaged 10 young Joiner ~
Eutlanc She has told her father OF
her engagement and Tie Premier has
consented iu view ~ his daughter
progress lu her work AFTER t1eil
marriage the young couple Intend CD
work together as IJ.l9rs.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Dues Strange Mate
Thought American
People at Lake Como Puzzled over
Identity Of Companion Of Noble
man Now Being Sued

ROME. June 1.-THE Due of or
leans whose wife - suing him for
maintenance iu the Brussels courts
is stopping on the shores oT roman
-ic Lake Como where he is seen daily
in the company Of "a mysterious W.
man The Due and his attractive
companion take long excursions to-
ge,her and always speak English
The identity Of the woman is not
known but -r IS believed that she IS
am American. although from her ap-
perance one would take her FOR m
English woman.