davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
WJAsHINGToN. October 26.-(spe-
M cial.)-The further they get
w along into fha lohvrir+l,s Of

W. AsalNGroN' s,a, lgno ,soss.s oetsser ss-fsDe-
along into the labyrinths of
the currency tangle, the more evident
it becomes that the Senate banking and
currency committees knowledge of finan-
cial legislative needs in this country is not
imposing. the Senate committee is not
making itself popular with the people by
holding up the administration bill, while
II listens to the flute like notes from
the financial orchestra of Wall street, un-
der the able dictatorship of Bandmaster
yander1ip.
The people of the United States know
little of currency or of the needs of leg
islation upon this subject. Their principal
occupation has been chasing the elusive
dollar up and down the land, and then,
when finally running it to earth, vainly
endeavoring to nail it down. They know
that there is not so much blooming elas-
ticity in our currency as would impress
total stranger that it bore any close
resemblance to a pair of hose supporters,
for they know from sad experience how
utterly impossible it is to stretch a 5000
income over $1,000 expenditure.
The few samples of our national cur
rency that they have been able to give
a personal inspection have made a pleas
ing impression. but only an ephemer.
and not a lingering one. That is one of
the chief objections advanced by the COM
mon people against our currency, that is,
that 1t shows no disposition to Stick
around" but has a nervous and rowing
disposition, even worse than a militant
suffragette. AS a circulating medium, our
currency has the unqualified Endorsement
of the ultimate consumer, but he frankly
admits that if there was a little less ex-
preston in the circulating of our finan-
cial system, it would make bigger hit
with him.
1t circulates SO fast that it gives him
a headache when he attempts to keep
within speaking distance of 1t.
The ultimate consumer has absolutely
no knowledge OF the terms used in great
financial circles such as ''call money
and national reserves" 1t is not clear
to him whether such expressions are
! used with reference to a poker game
and the standing army or are merely used
to confuse the innocent bystander. His
own experience in calling money" has
not aroused any especial enthusiasm, and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

A. A. Cheek, in the Wide World Maga-
zine.
~ n October %, 1911, while Agent and
IL Operator ID. A. Allen, station
~ agent for the I. M. & S. Ry. at
Amitv. Ark. was waiting for a north
bound through freight train to pass his
station just before closing up the place
for the night, the train dispatcher at
reriday. La, began frantically calling his
station. When Mr.. Allen answered he
was told, for heavens sake, to stop in
some way wild Gunaway) engine
coming south 1t had Just a few minutes
before got away from those in charge of
it, and was coming south wide open"
at terrific rate of speed, with no one
on 1t.
On receiving this alarming information
Operator Allen Immediately dropped his
signal board and at once ran to the north
switch to his side track and threw 1t
so as to direct the runaway into this
track, where stood a string of loaded
coal cars if by chance the wild engine
arrived first or he was unable to stop 1t
in any other way. He then induced two
men he happened to find-Messrs. A. j.
Johnson and ALI Widner-to assist him
in quickly throwing a hand car on the
track. While they were doing this they
heard the freight train about a mile and
a half off, coming to what then seemed
certain destruction. as the wild engine
could also be heard in the distance, with
'.Sle reports of the exhausts so close to-
1gether that they made almost one contin-
uous sound-conclusive proof that 1t was
still working steam and coming at high
rate of speed.
With only the thought of saving lives
in their minds, and with a full sense OF
their duty before them, these three men
clambered on the car and began a ver-
litable race against death to meet the
wild" engine and, IL possible. stop 1t in
some way before 1t crashed into the on
T, coming freight. the crew of which were
entirely ignorant of the terrible menace
so rapidly approaching them. The hand
car was run north at the utmost speed the
three men could produce until the rum
away engine came in sight through the
darkness. There were no lights of any
kind on 1t, and in the hurry of getting
away nohe Of the men on the hand cur
had secured even a lantern, 20 that svery
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
THE OTHER KIND
from November Lippincott's.

IUIH 1NUVtfIVeI IlIpPIICUtt 81
A captain of one Of the ocean liners was
showing a young lady friend of his over
the ship during one of his eastward trips
AS they passed through the steerage, he
called his fair companlon's attention to
big. husky Irish emigrant, who was
putting away with knife, fork and spoor
a bountiful supply of corned beef and cab
bage combined with other articles Of diet
The captain eyed him for a moment, then
addressing the young lady, said:
"Just look at the enormous amount OF
food that fellow Is consuming
II suppose. captain" said the fair young
girl, with beaming smile, 'he Is what
you sailors call stowaway."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
If : a man had to work as hard as a
mule, the mule would lose his reputation
as the champion kicker. =
Always put off till tomorrow the trouble
you could borrow today.
The trouble with combining business and
pleasure is that it always spoils the
pleasure.
If newspapers We're compelled to print
scandal in the smallest type made, 80 per
cent of the people would be wearing
glasses.
A woman always has a lot OF respect
for husband who pretends he is jealous
of her.
1t doesn't matter how much room there
is on the street, no self respecting coal
wagon chauffeur will drive anywhere but
on the car tracks. 1t is so much fun to
make a motorman wait while the coal
wagon horses take their time about pull
ing out.
Isefore marriage he could tell her that
he rode across the Atlantic ocean on
the back of a sea serpent, and she would
believe 1t. After marriage he can tell her
, tiioe iiC was tOidJ cd pCSdboC q otittt cdl
jumped the track and she wouldn't be-
lieve him if he brought the conductor,
the motornlan and % passengers home as
witnesses.
There is no rest for the wicked, but life
isn't entirely a picnic for the righteous,
either
1t seems a shame that an amateur sing
er always loses her friends before she
loses her voice.
Every now and then father will come
across a little baby shoe when he is
rummaging through an old trunk. To him
1t is only a cheap little bit of kid that
was worn by a little tad who got sick
and died. He can't see why mother keeps
it, But to mother the little shoe has
warm lips moist with her kisses, little
hands that cling lovingly to her breas,
and little eyes that look into her very
soul and understand her sorrow.
A girl doesn't need a good figure as
long as her father has it,
A woman never gets SO old nor so ugly
that she can pass a mirror without look
ing into it,
1t often happens that two women who
have had quarrel would kiss and make
up only they are afraid that they would
kiss the make up off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
rom the Chicago News,

from the Cn1cago News,
Any fool can give advice-such as it is.
It's as easy to buy experience as it is
difficult to sell it, g
Every guest who cannot play always
tries the hotel piano.
The worst thing you can do for some
men is praise them.
When you search for honor among
thieves take a policeman along.
Love couldn't be otherwise than sweet,
IS it's principal ingredient is taffy.
Some thieves have no higher ambition
than the top roost in a chicken house.
The man who follows his inclination
seldom travels long in the straight and
narrow way.
Expert swimmers keep their mouths
closed. Many women are the most expert
of swimmers
A popular love song is entitled, IF I
But Knew" If either he or she did know,
the parson might be shy another fee.
A ring with glass set in it will make
any little girl happy until she meets an
other little girl with a ring that has two
glass sets in 1t.
A widower never invests in guitar for
the purpose of serenading spinster He
begins right where he left off at the end
OF his first courtship.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
Prosperous Alabama

From all accounts the high price of
cotton has made for exceptional pros
perity in Alabama this fan,'' said Oil
yer Chalifoux, connected with the firm
of Clark & Jones, piano dealers. I'VE
sell high-grade pianos in different parts
OF the state. The inquiries from the
towns and villages in the cotton belt
have been particularly gratifying with
in the past two weeks. 1t may be easily
ASSUMED that the people of the agricul-
tural districts are feeling more buoyant
this year than ever before
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
A Notable PRAYER

The invocation offered at the Under
wood banquet by the Rev. DR.. H. M
Edmonds, pastor of the South High
lands Presbyterian church of this city
made a distinct impression on tht
large body of men who had gathered
around the tables. 1t was a literary
gem. Few short addresses or public
utterances, indeed, have been SO fa
vorably commented upon as tha
prayer. 1t follows:
oh! Thou, who spreadest Thy ta-
BILE for all Thy creatures on the
earth, make us glad that we are
still remembered. We thank Thee
for seas white with sails and
brimming with food. for fields
golden with fruit and mountains
packed with treasure. We thank
Thee for liberty, government and
peace. We thank Thee for past
full of sacrifice and victory, for a
present full of opportunity, for
future full of hope. We thank Thee
for our city, strong young giant
leaping straight from his iron bed;
for our state with her head among
the hills. her loins in tbs meadows
and her feet in the sea; Tor our
common country, the tired OLD
worlds Land of Promise.
And now, as we meet breaking
bread and mixing salt, in honor of
one who has honored himself and
US, we pray that we may with him,
In earnestness and humility, dedi-
cate ourselves anew to the serv-
ice of our fellow men. our native
land and our fathers God.
Give us to labor without, greed
without selfish ambition, without
envy, without strife, but with a
devotion which in losing self, gains
larger life, and a glowing hope
such as men have who look for
the coming of the very Kingdom of
God on earth. In Christ's name.
Amen.
While this invocation is highl,
rhetorical, it was composed on sucl
an exalted scale and was informed b,
such profound reverence, and wa
marked withal by such fine taste, tn
it will be entitled to a place in tn,
best handbooks of oratory. Such /;
classic should certainly be preserved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

quors in other forms. Vices have
broad backs, as an eminent statesman
once remarked, and if the demand for
the booze bonbon justifies, it will con-
tinue on the market, no matter how
high the impost it is compelled to
hoor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
PROFESSIONAL STORY TELLER
from the November Wide World Maga

From the November Wide World Maga-
zine.
Catania is noted for it's professional
story tellers. one Of whom ] came across
surrounded by a crowd OF men, who ap-
peared to be completely absorbed in the
story of the moment. AS passers-by are
at liberty to plant themselves in the
chairs provided by the story teller, and
need not say anything unless they feel
inclined, this business would seem to be
rather precarious one.
1t was at Catania that observed two
men solemnly engaged in the unique oc-
cupation of washing hay-why. I cannot
say. Driving their carts into an arm OF
the sea, they gravely took off their trous-
ers, and then. throwing the hay into the
water, jumped in and washed it. This
done, they reloaded the hay on the carts
and departed for another consignment.
Three times did see them perform this
novel task.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
JOB WANTED

From the New York Herald.
Japanese bright. f1rst-class young man
with respect to every point, as cook
American. European. and Oriental; bake
cake, bread, pastry &C.. as well as SAN
itary, clean general houseworker; will
move and work as If your hands and
legs and positively willing to do any
thing-with great deal of pleasure: as II
he takes music lessons, Z. B.. Herald,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

The fact that the New York, New
Haven and Hartford so faf has not sug-
gested any plan whereby the govern
ment's proposed suit might be compro-
missed Is probably due to the fact that
when President Elliott took charge he
found things in such a snarl that he has
not had time to get around to the depart
ment of Justices complaint.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

The man who invented the cold storage
process is said to be starving in Paris.
That's what he gets for making it pos
sible for spectators to keep eggs until
they are old enough to vote
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
ALABAMA,s DEBT

From the Houston Post.
1t is not improper for outsiders to con-
fer with Alabama about the senatorship.
Alabama owes it to the rest of the coun-
try to elect Underwood and sit down fiat
upOn Hobson
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Colonel Roosevelt, in a magazine article
Just published, says the country has mere
ly exchanged Cannonism for Underwood
ism. True, and what splendid swap the
country made!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Persons who allow the thought of
Christmas shopping to drive them to drink
don't deserve much sympathy. They are
cutters before the fact
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

A successful English novelist is maxi
ing enough money to play the philan-
thropist No, he doesn't write. great
bsoks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Charley Murphy is called the ''bossiest
boss ever' and yet his face in repose
looks quite cferubic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

The man who doesn't vote for an audi
tofdum deserves to be run over by a
"one-lung" automobile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

When the city commission decided to
reduce the police force, it must have had
advance information that Mrs Pankhurst
would decline an invitation to visit Bir-
nlingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

These days when man is addressed as
Judge you can't tell whether his spe-
cialty is law or chickens
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Science declares that beans, to GER
tain extent can remember, but the baked
bean is of course non compos mentis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

With the betting 2 to in favor of
Mitchell, and no Tammany money in
sight, it is apparent that Great Britain's
and Princeton's are not the only tigers
whose tails are in for a twisting
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Next Parliament will give home rule
says Asquith But the remark is not
original with him. 1t first attracted no.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

patron of pictures shows called a tiger
skin a snake skin. He must have been
drinking 1O-cent whisky.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Vindication has come to DIR. Friedman
at last. A high medical authority says his
turtle soup at least is not harmful
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

If England persists in her attitude of
friendliness toward Huerta, we might re-
taliate by recognizing the belligerency of
Ulster.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Birmingham is a growing town, but
contrary to outside reports, it isn't grow
ing any worse.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

"Old Bill' Sulzer has fallen back on
his chief asset just now, what the news
paper writer's call sweeping denial
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

An American widow who married a
French ''nobleman" is back In this coun-
try with a divorce and some expert
knowledge American husbands for me
hereafter is her slogan. Well, who'll be
next?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Huerta' s invitation to Felix Diaz to re-
port at Mexico City is regarded in the
nature of command. The dictator seems
to be assuming the prerogatives of roy
atty, but he will not wear them long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

George w. Perkins says there are not
over half a dozen statesmen In any of
the parties. We fear he overestimates.
Beginning with the progressives, there is
George himself and Pittsburg Bill Finn.
but who else?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

DR.. Friedman says he is coming back
to see how his patients are getting along.
Must have overlooked few collections.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

The most remarkable feature of the last
New Haven wreck is that nobody was
killed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting aai
departmeDts), Main 1900.

had rather than forty shillings,
had my book of songs and sonhets
here, Measure for Measure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-27

Besides a spiritual revival, the Gipsy
Smith meetings resulted in $1,000 being
given to local charities. Next time the
Gipsy comes, Birmingham will have an
auditorium capable of holding most of
the people who will want to welcome him
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-05-29

ble. Her psepSs -. n NasonsAQeo J.
were poor. NJ. Here banoht lDr o9re
ily hose ana gave then a a1,Voo<e,
Of $50 a month. Nov ~ Annual M.
come IL between $4,000 and e1,ee .
year and the only real estate 10 oVns
10 one iittla lot In which NJ 49, q
equity Of $500 But Mrs.. hsys, WOno0
have you believe he has an Income %
SSoo.eo0. lsr
"A year ago last January. before they
separated. when Mrs. Heve made 80.
cusau against her husband, he prem.
issd TO givs her 1900 q month not 20
repeat her charges to his poor Old
mother. Do you know what she didf
Three days aftse she got her nrst Q0e
she went and told the story to 4r.
Hsyes mothsr-just what she pfomioed
not to DO.
Ever since their separation last June
she has been extravagAnt. Mr.. Aeys
he's paid . bill Of ISL for wines and
liquors. ~ for cigars and cigarettes
and even >>6o for . mechanical plano
Mrs. Heys presented to . friend"
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-05-29

ily we're n PERIL lase Monday nsght Of
being blown W Win . nicksi-piasnd
bomb?
The answer seems to be unanimously.
NOBODY"
eomsSoAy who tAWes his higts6alis ct
the st. James fnn every night when
The chickens have sone 70 foost started
the story o. that nickei-plAs<d bomo.
and Il carried froM Aoatauk Pelht 70
0Uwanus Canal. According to thb
ne (piain water With mine Jsrry).
two iow-browsd men-a tail man and
. shosl man, Of courss-f0ds w to the
Inn on Monday night and demanded 10
know Of one Of the inners In the Inn
II Mayor 0aynos Was In his home.
"'spose no IT," retorted the inner land
bring one Of those clam fritters while
you are about Il. jerry.
'Thsn." said the tall man, dispiaying
nickel plated 0omb. ne and his
house end everything in Il 10 going 4
bs blown pauan b he'll some time to.
night"
saying which. ne tail man started
ne ssif-startins cor and II WAS lost ir
. cloud Of dust.
And Cnother one Of the same. jerry
no bonn sxpSodsd IN 81. James thu,
night-aot even . nickel plated one.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-05-29
NoN Well After Using
.. EckDan'S Alternative

The makers Of Eckman's Alternative.
Trouble. are continually Ii Feceipt OF Won.
asefui rpports Of rscoveyteo brought aeeut
veotieetO tie cese Of this writer. who useA
Deknan's Alteretivs and who y ts.dsy
AL Second Ave-. Asress. III.
''osntisuasn: Pardon me TT not. writing
sooasr. NJ wantsA 70 9. weudl
say ss,sS;,, eHn ssS s. s.ss S6 ~ I
sSSsh % s,sss :~s. 49,. q hsy ~. f;x:s;
sss s,tS sas = tyess. 5cs s ~; ves :s
6ssaSS said Il oSaid act - SEAT 6eptk /
would surely die ~ Consumption. Every
W1aaep weuA - aafe .ts have either
0roAchitis. Pleurisy o. Pneumonia. I had
Typhoid Pneumonia one tiDe. I hae CO /.
tesgh Of the stomach and bowels and had
Hay Fever fer the 10. few yssre: bat have
noS eaythiAa Of the kind THE year. VIII
tssy e 2! s.ss: srsn say one ssffs!'na
SAffiSSvitj Eta PLArH.
(OxIyears later reports still wsii.)
EcEmsn'S Aitsratlvc has been Sfovsd b.
many yea test to be most efftcscse'ui
iSctionS. Bronchitis. Bronchial ASihma
0tub6oen Colds and IN upbuildiAR the sye.
ten. D0ss not contAin narcotics poisoni
o. hsktt .fersNis0 Drug For 9als b,
s.:ss:. oa VIZ. s; e.. x.s S o e
Sossscsy. PSiIadslphia, pa. Tor beosIs
tsiiins u rSoovsrisS ana additional Svi
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-05-29
How x To Dark 9arken
By . Specialist

A v@y. satisfactory prspoea11pQ(
which darksns gray hair and ace0 81!
. corrective agent for dandraR AA1
other diseases Of the scalp can ~
made ct email expense and u yoar'
own homo By dissolving . small box
Of Barbo Compound in Z ounces Of
water and then adding IN ounce OF
bay rum and . quarter ounce OF G1y.
cerine. Any drug store cAn furnish
these insredients. This h 70 b ~.
piled once . week until the hair y
sufficiently dArkened, then every two
weeks TO keep the haiS colt ED
glossy and the scalp In . hsa1ehy
condition. II may b used VIA equal
success In darkening the beard. This
u . preparation that gives splsadM
results, both - . hair darkensr and
Q remedy for al scalp disoedseA and
70 we'll worthy Of . trial. Y0u viii
find Il far superior 70 thA ordinary
store preparation and much lees ex-
pensive.-Advt.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-05-29

ohs 0lxty-ainSh Regiment Armory at
Twenty -slxth strsst go Lexington avs-
auA The stssses eusolay aiisd with
Scves Leses'' esoeivsd many . chssf.
A object Of spssiaa Interest was the
basD arummsr. whe O. shipeeara he'd
bssa noticed 10 wear the ends Of his
beautiful mostachs IN eurl peossa. Once
ashorA however. q was ''whiskers iibrs"
for him and his progress down Broad.
way was . tonsoSial triumph.
Sharing interest with ths drummer
we're little Tony Martin and Ramon
Dias. the mascots Of the ship. Tony
10 pure white. bun Ramon 10 Q little
half.bresA Thsy ere slsht and nine
PEARS Oh. reapsoeivsly. street gannins q
Havana. and their "Trip on the gnnbsat
and present visit 70 these shores Il
one continuous fairy tala
To-Mosrew the ships Of the nsst VIM
be open to visitors from . o'clock ID
ths morning. A. O'Clock. In the after.
noon the omcial luncheon Of the Monu-
naent Committee and their suests viii
lalse place - the PiasA Hotel. A. ~
o'olock the great military ana naval "a.
raAe van torn q vorty-sseond Otrsse
md yvfth aveaus and mareA W the ave-
nue. to Ftfty.ninth street. thence along
10 oossmsus Circle. when ths dsd'oat'oa
VIII be held.
Mayor 0aynor received the Cuban
Admiral. the Cuban Consul General.
Mariani Roekafort, and several men,
hers Of the Cuban Congress-. The party
assembled In the Mayors reception
room and were introduced By Doch
Commissionee n. A. c. Smith. The
Dock Commisslonss answered the Ma.
yos's question do you all speak Eng.
lishr' b saying. Yes. they all under.
stand English. and understand mora
Ensiish than they are always wiiiiaa
70 admit"