davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
COMMISSIONER CLEMENTS.

The nomination. and the almost instant conhrma-
ION of Judson c. Clements to succeed himself the
Interstate Commerce Commission is an occasion for
elicitation of the Wilson Administration There was
Ground for the fear that the President for time
2as in danger of making mistake; for the appoint
lcnt of any other man, to the exclusion of Judge
Clements, would have been mistake. Without much
oubt the President named the veteran member OF
ne commission as direct response to the very
manifest demand of all classes of the public.
1t is unnecessary 10 recount the reasons why
Judge Clements appointment was fitting, even nee
=ssary. They are very we'll understood and univer-
ally conceded. The fact that he has been named Is
re assurance that subordinate considerations of pol
tics and relationships TO be permitted to work
injury to this great and increasingly important tri-
ounal
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
SIS THE PRICE OF A LIFE.

casualty company has paid S15-to each of nine
estates of persons who lost their lives in the Tri-
angle waist factory in New York, and judicial ap-
7roval has been given to tine settlement this basis.
1t is carefully explained that this is not intended
10 measure the damages, because the insurance was
,aTried by the of the building and he denies
all liability.
Being however the only indemnify that seems
'Aely to be paid by anybody in connection with that
holocaust, in which 14S lives were lost it to
epresent the measure which is placed by the prac-
1cal authorities on the value of life.
Meanwhile the of that factory have paid
a fine because in their new factory they had exits
ocked while the place was filled with workers.
All of which are proper things for a moments
thought at Chrstmastide.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
CHRISTMAS HAPPINESS.

After ali it is not so important 10 this community
10 any other than there should be white Christ
mas or gray Christmas as that it should not be
blue Christmas.
The spirit of Christmas is joy. If We could make
'verybody happy-and who would not like to be
lble to make everybody happy this day surely the
hristnas spirit would be nothing less than perfect,
natever the skies might do or however the earth
night look.
No one of Us can make everybody happy. No
of US can make than the merest fraction
brothers and sisters happy. But every one
US can make somebody happy.
1t is not too late, for Christmas is only here,
lis morning. 1t lasts all day, ard if do, every
he of us, give happiness to as many reach
S day-not with mere gifts but with the Christ
mas spIrit-the JOY of it will not be gone when this
Christmas Day is marked off the calendar of 1913 at
IL o'clock tonight.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
TAXING BACHELORS

are fortunate enough to be similarly
several conclusions which we respect
fully submit to our legislators tb-oC.;s
the medium OF the press.
Realizing the futility of campaign
to retain ali our present rights and i'm.
munities, We gladly consent to the las-
ment OF the tax prescribed. hut subrni;
that as the amount thereby derived -
not to be duplicated under the half-and-
half system. our ideas as to It's distri-
button should be given at least SONS.
consideration
Instead Of pensions TO widows, y=
ing according to- their member ni chs
dren. pay IL to suinistsTs. vary5nS
cording TO their number cf "ats r. .;sp
dogs BY this course you dc not en-
courage wastefulness an .xtr2r :. ~.
OF married women Why s;o;,'. sE,'
goods be pensioned by us ta;;,; Trn.iJin-
BY her own wrong. while tAs 'so'sCln
for whose lonely p!ighc we srS i'sSrr,t-
sible has probably always l.:H -
condition bordering Oh aI5ec: Gs'n,
Besides. you claim to TAX bachelor
hood as = lcIary. With = town ft:n ~
widows IL would ceaSe to DC :. !r&urf
and become On impESS!oiHtS. u j
connection see Amendment ' 20 tslo
Constitution. wi.ict gGys. NO peTsCa
shall be deprived of lie. LIBEETY, o.
property without due process 2: Ia.
We hesitate to threaten, bat ev'sl t't'
worm VIII turn, and We Na-2 III, SEA-
tleInen Oh the hill. that i they peIsf.,s
In their purpose to III o';- city With Z -
Dangerous c!c.uent we vii fr"nn :, ai-.s
perfect union. provide fu-cs u "Is
coIdnsoG desenSe. al'l - S,'-'.., Jts
Blessings o. lilI.:;t:' to .,!rsCl -. ! u
rosterity. have the Supreme Si,l.; g.
eide whether or 10. si:c.; a. .:;at-te 3: 4
nT ia saIT q -ss.TN
the Constitution. whscr as.,'iSie ,I,-,:
CRUEL AMI ;sTus;I.si nau's,......i:., s'se..
TO. be iafiiS:H,l
iSiEpsdJ CONTEHTED S.,,;RLiO2
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

Is Mexico, groaning and gasping in
the throes of a horrible civil war. q
worse place to live in than ths Dis
trict of Columbia?
Worried as we are with debt or
one million odd dollars that We knew
nothing about. a bill to pay for our
sidewalks, a promise from Mr.. John
son Of more surprises, etc. now
comes Mr.. BorIand. of Missouri. With
a most ingenious scheme OF bachelor
taxation
One hundred dollars a year between
the ages of twenty five and thirty;
s2o0 between thirty and thirty-fvc,
and $500 from thirty-five upward. the
revenue thus derived 20 be paid in
pensions to widows
knowing as we do the extent that
members of Congress are importuned
TO find positions for widows for theis
districts, we would suspect an intent
to foist upon the helpless Washing
ton bachelors. their obligations OF
office. were it not that Mr.. Borland
tentatively suggests that a widow. to
obtain the benefit of the act must
ne a resident ce the District prior
to widowhood. And even ti:is suS-
gestion does not relieve him and his
Colleagues from suspicion. for. upon
learning OF the serious illness of q
constituent, how easy II would be for
one of our legislators 20 suggest the
advantages II Washington as place
for q married man to breathe his
las..
: Every incoming train would be hH-
ed with invalid husbands and their
attentive wires. We nave here now
mere than 1J.G00 more women than
men. and under this proposed leSisla-
tirr what 4 condition would exist"
Now, | qm a bachelor, and after read
ing this alarming suggestion have. in
the shUri time tha: has ;nterveneG. dis
cvsssd it with such CT my friends -
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
THE WRESTLING TOURNAMENT
is OVER.

Dear Editor: l was the innocent by
stander at numerous wrestling matches
last week, none OF which were chroni-
cled in your sporting pages. The pripci-
pals were the revolving doors in any
store, and any bundle laden shopper
In spite OF giving away lots of weight,
The revolving doors always got the de-
cision. The best bout of the week was
between corpulent lady, three not SO
corpulent offSpring, one aenemic hus-
band, and q flock of bundles on one
side and the revolving doors on the
other side. Or the revolving doors on
all four sides. to be exact.
The revolving doors always copped
the gate receipts. I beg your pardon
the revolving door receipts Yours,
FRANK NESS.
After the girls get through bawling
out the presents they do not want, you
might call IT holler day.
But after You are through with the
Christmas turkey, you could not call il
a hollow day.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
SECRETARY LANES MESSAGE.

A good many believed-and this newspaper was
among them-that the transfer of Franklin X Lane
from the Interstate Commerce Commission to
place as Secretary of the Interior bit of doubt
full administrative economics. Mr. Lane was one of
the most useful men that ever the commission.
1t needed him. Ii needs him now.
But the annual report which he has Just made
public, the affairs of his great department, is a
justification of the judgment which commandeered
him for Cabinet service. 1t is great big document
vibrant with force and earnestness and broad-vsioned
enough to the whole wide field of present condi-
tions and future possibilities in the management of
our public domain.
To James r. Garfield more than any man will
be awarded by history the recognition which is due
to that vision which realized that our public do
main still of immense value, after the country
in general had come to assume that its best stores
of resources had been exhausted. Garfield brought
back to an appreciation of the immensely of the
treasure yet awaiting development, and to the
understanding that the time come TO begin its
conservation.
1t has been reserved for Franklin Lane to claim
the privilege of working out the administrative proc
esses for accomplishing these ends. Not all of
that task indeed is left to him Garfield and Fisher
al time when public understanding is equal to the
demand that it shall support striking measures. He
deals with Alaska in terms that few years ago
would have branded any man rank radical. What
he wants done no, would lave been denounced as
socialism by the toTyiSm that ruled a few wears
back. Lane will get about what he is urging because
it is his good fortune to have come on the scene
when these things better understood
The services OF great administrator are needed
If :he nation would save the better part of what It
has remaining in the public domain Lane is prov
ing himself the great administrator. He proposes
new, unique, powerful! piece of new governmental
machinery 20 ham, Alaska, and he outlines in a con-
vincing way about what that mechanism ought to be-
He would turn over what he calls board of drec-
tors, the whole business Of developing Alaska as a
national asset, giving this board control of all the
natural resources and free hand TO guide their de-
velopment in the way TO serve the Territory and to
make the Territory serve TIE national needs.
Fir Lane might take the case of the Panama Rail
way Company as 4 very good model That corporation
a business corporation, doing things in the direct
straightforward way thar corporations can end Gov
ernment cannot do it, Yet its stock is entirely owned
by the Government, and i is under effective Gov
ernment control. There has been serious proposal
that when the canal is finished the Panama Railway
Companvs field OF activities be transferred from the
tropics - the Arctic, and that us wonderfully e.
fcient organization be turned out to provide the
Government railroads that very plainly a.e going 20
be built there. Why not?
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
The Way to Do 1t.

THE younger man had been com.
planning that he could not get
i his wife to mend his clothes.
II asked her to SEW a button
on this vest last night and she hasn't
touched it." he said. At this the older
man assumed the air Of a patriarch.
Never ask a woman to mend any
thing" he said. "You haven't been
married very long and | think I can
give YOU some serviceable suggestions.
When 1 want 4 shirt mended I take il
to my wife and flourish 1t around a
little and say. Where's that rag bag q
What do YOU want of the rag bag ?
asks the wife. Her suspicious are
aroused at once.
81 want to throw this shirt away.
It's worn out I say, with a few more
fiourishes.
Let me see that shirt nv wife
sGys then. Now. John, hand it to me
at once.
"Of course. l pass it over and she
examines it.
why. ii only needs and then
she mends it.'-Pittsburyh Chronicle
Telegraph.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
SHOPPING HINTS.

ONLY ABOUT THREE HUNDRED
SHOPPING DAYS TO NEXT CHRIST
MAS.
NO PRESENTS CAN BE EX-
CHANGED TODAY.
1T is BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO
DECEIVE.
A GREEN CHRISTMAS DOES NOT
NECESSARILY MEAN CHEAP YULE-
TIDE JEWELLERY.
CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS ARE TO
BE HUNG UP AND NOT STARED AT.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
Hits From Sharp Wits.

The information that 50 per cent OF
the people of Mexico cannot read or
write goes to explain thinSs.-Albany
Journal.
When one worries about the income
tax, 10000 worry about the income
peseret Evening News.
Only man who isn't in the habit OF
doing mis- duty thinks he should be
specially praised when he does do IT.
The Queen of Roumania weighs 2Ss
bounds: vet the anti-fat remedies are
doubtless advertised in Roumania, too.
1t costs 50 cents to distribute 81 worth
of food in New York, not counting the
tip-Boston Transcript.
At SpitsGerSen the longest day in the
year is three and half months. How
would you like to have thirty days like
that in which to settle the Christmas
bills Birmingham News.
Wow. ST. Louis is eating Imitation
lemon pie made Of turnips and citric
acid" Tastes bad even to write the
recipe.-Memphis Commercial Appeal.
A Cleveland minister proposes that
200 churches devote time to teaching
young women how to pick ft husbands.
Another suggestion on how to avoid
bad esgs."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

from tle degeneracy that Semi-barbaric custo'i
imposed upon it. 1t is becoming again an appropr'
te occasion for cultivation of the best sentiments of
patriotism. Now comes the new and better att-
Jude toward Christmas the unselfish and beautiful
custom that cannot fail to spread to more and more
people the uest conception OF the festivals place in
the calendar OF Christianity
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
Similar Occupations.

A L the circus Beansley nudged his
~ friend and pointed to the strong
man who was holding large
dumbbell on top Of which were
seated two handsome girls in tights,
says the YOUNGSTOWN Telegram
odd" he observed. but that's lust
what my wife is doing at home"
Whats that" asked his friend.
And Beansley. the wag. replied:
Putting up peaches"
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
Paper and String Profits.

LoTHIER-I sell you that coat
at a great sacrifice
" Customer-But you say that
of all your goods How do you
make a living?
Clothier-1 make a small profit on the
paper and string-St. Paul Dispatch
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

Upon Ohio's statute books today
are written fifty-six Of the most pro-
gressive laws in the nation. evolved
from fifty-six campaign pledges to
the people Of Ohio before the last
election. Thanks to q body Of men
composing Ohio's general assembly,
80 patriotic In spirit that to oppose
the right Of the people would be
treason, Ohio IL enabled today to call
herself among the foremost Of the
States enjoying the freedom of the
peoples prerogatives. am grateful
for this opportunity to tell the peo-
ple of the nation what Ohio has al
ready done in tho past eventful
twelvemonth. Briefly:
The warnes tax law takes taxa
tion out of politics, creates uniform
ity and will bring to light every dol
lar Of taxable property In Ohio 1t
provides an appointive taxing Off
cial In every county. Local political
chickering's, Influences. and obliga-
tons are effectively eliminated.
The mothers pension law levies .
pittance Of tax on the comfortable
for the beneflk Of the needy--the
mothers and their dependents 1t
will save many families from want
in every one Of ohio's eishty-eight
counties the first year. The second
year we estimate II will increase in
effectiveness 50 per cent.
wORKMEHS COMPENSATION
Law DEFIES FRAUD NOW.
Ohio's compulsory workmen's COM
pensation law II q step in advance
over all Of them. 1t provides q
system Of claim Investigation that
defies fraud II gives both work.
man and employer square deal at
a negligible cost to each, and clears
away masses Of costly court litiga-
ton. It's compulsory feature affords
every workngman its benefit and In
sures protection to his dependents.
The new liquor license act elimi-
mated 1904 dives and joints. II put
out OF business hrst Of al the wine
room 80 frequently patronized by
young girls and women. and 10 4
step toward higher morals, less de-
bauchery, white slavery. and COM
mon evils emanatins from the In
fluences Of liquor. It brings to HEht
of day a business that has thrfved
in the dark. 1t absolutely eliminates
Objectionable liquor traffic and limits
the trade to one saloon Tor every 500
population in counties now known as
wet"
Our "blue sky law" operated bY
the State banking department, aboi-
ishes the shady operations Of He
gitimate land sharks. wildcat specu-
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
THE REAL CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

Dear Editor. The essence OF Yuletide
mas so thoroughly permeated my sys-
TEN, that l even smiled benignly upon
the red-hcaded conductor on the Mt
Pleasant line who whistles The Old
Oaken Bucket" in three different keys.
How is that for the heighth Of peace
on earth and good will to men?
DUPONT CIRCLE.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
Optinettes
By CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
. EMORSE without Remuneration
- makes It . Cruise on Rudder-
les Ship!

When you Talk 0loomily about the
Inevitable Day when The Black-Piumed
Wagon win Draw up to your Door, You
Are Handing Death the High Sign!
The Man who Seems Most Modest to
his Friends often is the One who Braggs
most Inveterately about Himself and
his W1fei
Another Reason why we Feel that
that we've Never been Able to Work up
a Cents Worth Of Enthusiasm over the
so-termed Biameiess Manor Woman!
The Untempted Ones live TRANQUILITY
in their Cold, Sequestered Cloister. but
the Tempted Ones Fight and Win or
Fall in the Open!
Our Understanding about Nirvana Is
that it's a Place where Nobody Criti-
cises or knocks Anybody about ANY
thing!
SEE the Man whose Interest you
Want to Engage-for when he Tells you
over the Phone that he'll Think it
Over" you're Going to Get a Rejection
Slip from him by Mail in the Morning!
Most of US, when we Bury the Past,
want to Hold Prolonged and Needless
obsequies over the No-account Old
Thing!
Looking Back, We Discern that We
were Happiest when We were Talking
Foolishiy about tho Einsiveness Of Hap
piness.
A Mar who Appears to Know what
he is Talking About informs US that OPP
portunity never Sits Down on .he Door
step and Waits after Ringing an I'm
answered Bell!
Bfde your Time. Of course: but Keep
Hammering Away at Some Sort Of a
Worth While Side Limo while you're
Waiting.
Whenever We Hear Corrugated CAb
quote that Unprovable Dictun, Every
Man has his Price, we Conclude, with
Reason, that the Quoter has at Some
Time or Other sold himself Pretty
Cheaply!
We know a Lot of Men whose Boast
1t is that they Drink Like Gentlemen"
hut it's Queer that None of Them ever
is Able to Convince his Wife OF that As
sertion.
Introspection Is q Nice, Mouth-filling
Word, but its Medicinal Properties are
Nil unless it's followed by an Inventory
of Ourselves.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
|GOy.COX Of Ohio
|AVers His State
Is the Leader in
Making of Laws
By GOV. JAMES N. cox, Of. Ohio.

lations, and fake banking institu-
lions 1t places sole control in the
right place.
CHILDREN BARRED FROM
HEALTH-RACKING WORK.
Boys under sixteen and girls ua-
der eighteen are barred from nerve
racking employments. an evil 81
common in most States, by Ohio's
newly enacted child labor law.
Ohio has general code OF good
roads laws. Most important Is the
Httes law. providing for half mill
levy In every county to be used In
the construction Of twelve main
market roads and a system OF inter-
county roads connecting every sec
ton with a fine paved highway. a
sum OF 500. 900 Is now In the
State treasury waiting to be speEt
1t provides for the raising OF g on
Ohio from mudholes and provide
highways that. viii reduce the cost Of
transportation Of farm products.
The housewives market basket is
now protected by an act prohibiting
combinations to fix prices, and pro-
viding that violators shall be fined
and sent to the State penitentiary.
There Ii also now no 1oophole for III
dealer who uses short measures.
PROVIDED AMPLE FUNDS
10 FIGHT WHITE PLACLE.
The State has appropriated ample
funds to fight the great white plague
1t has In addition considered the gen.
eral health precautions more amply
than ever before. Upon Ohio's stat
ute books were also placed during the
past years laws granting municipal
tiles the option Of home rule IN any
practical form. creating An efficient
Industrial commission, eliminating
politics through the civil service. adj
justing and simplifying court pro-
cedure, adequate flood protection.
providing for a thorough investtga-
ton Of farm credits, giving the State
board Of charities general supervi-
sion of the care OF all dependent,
creating q State penitentiary open
air farm to be constructed and
worked by convicts. establishing ele-
mentary day school for uneducated
prisoners In Ohio's penitentiary. MT
ting the illiterate with stamina to re-
sigt evil when released and face the
world with an even break . drastic
anti-Tobby Law, and many more.
The greatest object of my adminis-
tration will have been accomplished
when the Legislature this winter
adopts q progressive school system
indorsed by prominent educators all
over the State and lay delegates
from every schol district. no matter
how snan 1t win provide adequate.
thorough and efficient supervision OF
every school IN Ohio. and q high
standard viii be required Of every
eachsr, old and young
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
ALL LIVE WIRES.

The trolley babies are going to have
n beauty competition on the Goth. The
district Comm; ssioners will be the
.rdges. II they want any expert judg-
ing or fiat wheels, weary waits, and
gearier stands, call in any of our sub
urban population.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
WE APOLOGIZE VERY HUMBLY.

1t should have read BOWLING
League, not BAWLING League.
Still at that, bawling league de-
scribes 'em as well as any other word
in the English language. Did you ever
hear them up at the Arcade alleys?
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
TWICE IN THE SAME PLACE.

now at the head of her own
company, the veteran burlesque queen
is again heading her own company.
Theatrical Notes.)
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
CASABIANCA,

The girl stood meath the misteltoe,
Whence all but her had fed.
The flames which lit the battle wreck,
Showed a bald spot on her mead.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
THE SILVER LINING
EDITED BY ARTHUR BAER

The Christmas spirit should fill the
heart, not the stomach.
-CUnpublished Proverbs.(
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
Caught in a Sinecure.

-UIAUGHT the prisoner in a sine
cure" said the constable. with
evident satisfaction
I'm what?'' asked the bewil-
dered magistrate.
"A sinecure. your worship biandly
came the reply.
surely you mean. q cul de sac%' re-
marked the magistrate.
The witness nodded scquiescence, but
obviously lie was still unconvinced, and
as nc stepped from thc box he was
heard to WHISPER 10 brother officer.
"Pocr Jil chaps Sstiin' worse. Man
chester Guardian.
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

Now that we can't warn the late shop
pers to shop early. here are few to
take their places:
The Washington times., 1913-12-25
A FEW VARIATIONS.

Nic;;etoe The Girlies
Dismissal Ben Johnson
Missile-toe,
ANY American League Umpire
er-miss-at-all-tOe..- Mr.. Brlckley
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

When you Talk 0ioomily about the
Inevitable Day when The Black-Plumed
Wagon win Draw up to your Door, You
Are Handing Death the High Sign!
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

The Man who Seems Most Modest to
his Friends often is the One who Braggs
most Inveterately about Himself and
his Wife,
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

Introspection Is a Nice, Mouth-filling
Word. but its Medicinal Properties are
Nil unless it's followed by an Inventory
OF Ourselves,
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

Another Reason why we Feel that
there is Something Wrong about US is
a Cents Worth Of Enthusiasm over the
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

lations, and fake banking institu-
tions. 1t places sole control in the
right place
The Washington times., 1913-12-25

We know Lot of Men whose Boast
it Is that they Drink Like Gentlemen"
but it's Queer that None Of Them ever
is Able to Convince his Wife OF that As
sertion.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-01

There aren't any more willie"
Hestons at Michigan University, but,
instead, the school where Branch
Hickey coaches the ball players
boasts of a diamond star who looks
like Ed Walsh and Ty Cobb in en-
byro. He is George SisleF.
When Sisler is not pitching he
plays the outfeld la the $4,000
Georgia Peach" and bats fourth, be-
ing the best cleanup man Michigan
has had in decades. ~
Joe Sugden, Detroit scout, says of
him: HE has the best curve\of any
left-hander 1 lever looked at"
Hickey, on the southern trip, was
startled by Sisler.. He told some one,
who repeated it, OF course, that Sis
Ter was SO good it was hard to believe