New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-24
AS | WAS SAYING

In the national game. g., Progressive Marriage
it has been found impossible to abolish smuggling
We refer of course, to spiritual sugglng-the hdlu
" ords sour looks and ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
bjsh implications that rob divorce of its sentiment
But the English are Frightening cricket" and
we hear that our own national game may be con-
siderably illumined by altering the rules. Hence
this cry for trial divorces.
Lovely! Under the new arrangement some per-
functory grumbIing will be thought decorous In
court Just as a moderate amount of amiabihty Is
still tolerated at the altar, yet the old cussedneSs
is doomed Instead of Goodbye. darn you!' we
shall hear a gay. almost coquettsh, Au reVoH'
But the real beauty of trial divorces comes IN
when you reflect that they permit one to renaTIy
widely and reach an intelligent decision by patent
and prolonged experimentation. How thrilling when
at last Robert returns to Alice and says After Ez-
abeth Clara, Grace Helen, Genevieve, Catherine
Anna Ethel, and-hang IT, what was the horrid
little brunette's name?-I find that you are the only
girl loved"
Great problem marriage! The more we think OF
1t the more thoughts go back to those HAPPY
student days at Hinterschag, and again we see
good Professor Eselnahr gazing dreamily out across
the purple Rhine and hear him saying: My dear
young gentlemen. to-morrow's lesson contains the
most difficult problem known to mathematics. ad-
wise you not attempt it till you have worked II
through carefully seven or eight times.
Seated comfortably in his Easy Chair. Mr.
Howels has been talking of tips. and We gather
that he would be content to inhablt some tipless
world. So would We though there are tips We en-
Joy bestowng when our barber has condescended
to instruct in the many sciences and PHILOSOPHERS
OF his KEN with an occasional excursus into
realms literary astroogic apd historical, oh! grand
# is to see him grovel for dime.
And how dreary would be an art school without
those tips to the visiting Academician! You know
the CUSTOM as explained faithfully to each new
student. When the eminent critic arrives the boy
must fee him or incur lasting disfavor
Thus It that fine. broad. cleaning hve-
franc piece found its way into the astonshed palm
OF NJ Gerome. capital Joker himself. the artist
bowed. smiled and said. "Ah. mon fills! you have
done what you could for your old master! Merci
bien! Come, let us dine together"
II appears that Brother Perkins is all in a huster
when he contemplates the friction between Big
Business and Big Government. but We suspect that
trouble would have been saved II the former had
shown a more passionate eagerness TO recognize
the latter.
Speaking of his three or four short stories. Sir.
George Bernard Shaw says: The latest and best.
called Aerial Football, was copied from my manu-
script by artist-caligrapher Orally Hewitt, and
Autographed in a publication called The Neoith.
devoted entirely photography. Copies are now
collectors treasures" Thanks!
The price is quito low.
And like them. you know,
But we think well not take to-day"
for our dream is to acquire Shaw's letter returning
his Collier prize for that story and asking what the
deuce Golfers" knew about fiction, anyhow!
At this point offer you a cut Of Pye. whose
name you have heard mentioned with due mrth
in discussions Of the Poet Laureateship. Thus Pye:
Awhile let War his bloody banners fold
And smiling Peace her gentler trlumphs hold
The generous fame that warmed ELIAS days.
Shone forth IN Georges reign with brighter blaze"
There is more-in fact, two thousand lines more
but We caution you against overeating. We feel
deeply on that subject.
Nevertheless still cherish a respect for tho
analysis of happiness have received from that
wondrous sage, DR. Porous w. Eaton. Happiness,
so he explains, is awareness Of perfect harmony
between your forces and the forces of the universe
This sounds vague, perhaps. and vague IL would re-
main but for the thoroughly satisfactory manner
in which Or. Eaton brings 1t down to the compre-
hension OF paragraphers Would you know the
surest means Of cultvating such awareness? Sit
down 10 a good dinner" r. l.. IA.