The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-09
BY WELLINGTON VANDIVER

of white marquesette, trimmed with eye
let holes on the haw side, and yelling
order to three raw, niger gals, and hei
mother-in-law, to beat the band.
''The ladies receiving with Mrs. S.
Nixon were Mesdames Zula Burgitt
beautifully gowned in yellow plush skirt
with real prize package jewelry, Mrs. b
Lester ROBBERS. wearing a graceful cos
tune of castor oil silk, with chiffonier
trimmings. Mrs. Aurelia Bone, quite love-
ly in a dream of mayonnaise taffeta bro
cade cut en- traine, with box pleated
back breadths.
THE color scheme OF yaller, was car
ried out to minutest detail. yaller
mule was hitched to the front gate.
three yaller dogs were chained in the
backyard, the hostess wore a yellow
complexion in honor of the occasion.
The beautiful spread covering the table
was of real yaller oilcloth, two yellar
journals were on the mantel-old man
Higgins, the uncle of the hostess, sat in
an arm chair by the fireside, exhibiting
beautiful case of yaller-jaundice, and
yaller sand was sprinkled on the floor.
Some OF the most operate musical talent
in the beat assisted in this elaborate
function, prominent among which was
Willie Trimbletoe's solo on the mouth or
gan-entitled Buffalo gals won't you
come out tonight"
This recherche classic composition was
followed by an obljgato, rendered on
the ACCORDION, by Squire John Strange
the same being from the opera of Mandy,
and recognized as big Sally Gooden,'
by musical virtuosos Miss Darthuly Nc
Coffin rendered an original classic selec-
tion ON the organ--a descriptive 1nstru-
mental solo, entitled "The Storm The
enraptured audience could distinguish
the squealing of the shoats, the bray
ing of the mules to get out of the stable,
the blarting of the billy goats, and other
familiar sounds, when the storm was get
ting nigh. 1t sure was pearcherino OF
a piece, and Miss Darthu1y was heartily
applauded when she Knocked the stuffing
out of the last note of this composition
although there was a slight interruption
to these beautiful strains-when little
Huldy Tucker, the 4-year-old Cherub of
our Merchant Prince. Mr.. Daniel Tucker,
set up howl because her ma wouldn'
let Huldy play with her false teeth
After which salad course was served,
and all went merry as marriage pelis-
though some of the old codgers swore
that the salad course consisted or wind
pudding, atmospheric foam, soap-suos,
and flub-dub, and that 1t wasn't fllilns
at all. To crown the festivities of the
evening, Hon. Hick Funderburg, the con-
gressman from our district, who was
present at a delegate from the Bear-akker
class, arose and made few remarks on
The Correlation of Economic Forces
with Isothernal Lines of Cfviiizatlon. AT
2:SO a. m. when the Honorable Hick un-
willingly closed, all hands went nome
feeling that they had been "one or those
present" at the Jim-dandy est society 40
ings that ever happened on Peckerwooo
Creek''
Sheriff: You sure have inditeds an I'M
mortal smidgin of literature In that there
essay,'--admiringl observed the sewing
machine agent IT was personally present
at that very obsequies, and Know ina.
your write up is as true as death ana
taxes. The only human being there on
that occasion who was tanked up on
li1ker was the daddy of them McGolIln
gals, and as usual he was sousen
for keeps Enduring the cere-
monies Old Buck McGoffln feil
in the WELL and 1t required the united
efforts Of me, and two of the Jones
boys, and three niggers to get MN out
But it never feazed the old repropate,
as the fall didn't break bottle OF
whisky he had in his pocket SO tnat
McGoffn party came out on that Wen
drunker than when he went in.
For more than Is years tnat Ola
soak has imbibed spirituous' vlnous OF
malt beverages to the point OF daii%
intoxication until he has accumulated
the reputation OF being the only real
chronic drunkard on Pecker"oeo' one