davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
EVENING CHAT
Large Versus Small Family.
BY RUTH CAMERON.

A belated letter on the much discussed
subject of the large versus the small fam
to you, not because it proves that large
families are always the best, but because
II shows what wonderful, worthwhile
thlns a brave man and woman can make
out of life, in spite of the handicap of
financial stringency.
L just can't keep still any longer about
Dig families, for think L have a right
to say my say Just this morning
young stranger asked to use our phone.
After using it, he said, How many chill
dren have you, anyway 1 said Nine.
He said, My, how old you, anyway?
tWenty.one? No. forty said He said
Gee, if you'd put on your glad rags, you
could easily pass for twenty-one.' 1 said,
I have, more than oncei I have very
often been taken for one of my daugh-
tiers. My husband and L were married
when we were seventeen and nineteen.
1 know that life is what we make it.
been a sour old drudge if it had not been
for my little daughter waking me up.
When had four, my husband had taken
the two other girls to big church and
when they came home, the second one
barely four years old, said, Oh Mama
it looks so funny to go down town and
see all the pretty ladies all dressed up
and come home and find an old Mama in
an old wrapper 1 was only twenty-five.
L had a good cry but had sense enolgh
to get out of wrappers and be a pretty
lady for the rest of my life. My chill
dren are all refined and 1 proud to
take them anywhere. L have often been
told by friends who have only one or
two, that If they can raise theirs to be
as nice as mine they will be satisfied
Isn't that worth all the work and study
1 have put into them? We a co-opera-
tive family, doing all our work without
help. 1 have always let my little ones
help, even letting the girls wipe dishes |
at sixteen months. Our boys are learning |
to cook and do homework as well as the !
girls, so they will be good husbapds." ct !
was impossible to condense this letter into |
one days space, but 1 feel sure you will |
agree with me it deserves two. A finer |
human document 1 have never seen. |
have read it to all my friends and each |
time / read it over 1 touched and /
so proud of belonging to the splendid mid |
die class which produced such people,
that a lump rises in my throat0
CONTINUED tOmOrroW.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
AXHAWKER JOTS

Herb Caveness thinks I'm hoe silo
for Kansas.
1t strikes the Caldwell News that
some of the big girls are wearing their
little sisters skirts.
Platonic love, explains the Hiawatha
World is good deal like a gun that
you didn't know was loaded.
According to the idea of the Sterling
Bulletin, there are two ways of vast
ing your money. One is to spend it so
fast that it doesn't have time to do
good, and the other is to hold onto it
so tight that it never gets a chance.
Nearly all of the cartoons about boys
show the dog as an insepara BILE COM
panion to the boy, notes John MacDon-
aid in the Western School Journal and
he suggests this psychological ques-
ton: Why do boys think so much of
dogs and why do they throw stones at
cats? Child study philosophers, please
answer.
News items in most of the Kansas
weeklies indicate that this is also the
joyous season of the year when chick
en- pie socials are in order under the
auspices of the ladies' aid societies
that have to bear the burden of the
church debts. At one of these affairs
a hungry man can ge. more good stuff
to eat for two-bits or two-bits and a
dime than he can in a city restaurant
for eight dollars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.J

lFrom the Chicago NeWS.I
Throwing bouquets at ones self costs
money.
Better a half loaf than broken down
constitution due to overwork.
A meek man looks like a standing in
vitation for others to sit down on him.
The more a woman talks the more
anxious her husband is to turn off the
gas.
Perhaps joy cometh in the morning. but
not to the chap who has made a night
of it.
Elderly females claim that the lack of
wrinkles on a womans face shows weak
ness of character.
Perhaps once in a thousand years you
may encounter a man who doesn't think
his wife talks too much.
A girl never accuses the right young
man of petit larceny when he tries to
steal kiss. She thinks it grand.
When man brings home box of candy
for his wife she imagines he is concealing
confession he ought to make-and usual
ly she is right.
Nothing joltS woman more, when she
tells another woman something that has
been told her in confidence, than to learn
that the other woman knows all about 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
SPELLING mREFORM.,

At intervals during the summer arti-
Giles and dispatches relating to spelling
reform in Kansas appeared in a num-
Der of our newspapers. writes John
Macdonald, in his Western School
Journal. Our people, it was
said, were hungering and thirsting for
spelling reform, children cried for it,
the colleges and high schools were
ablaze with enthusiasm. We who lived
in Kansas, knowing there was no de-
mand, nor hunger nor thirst nor en-
thusiasm for socalled spelling reform,
wondered where the inspiring source
of those dispatches and articles could
be found, but we did not wonder long.
Back to their source in Chicago we
traced them, and we wondered no
more The individual responsible for
this artificial furore is not unknown in
the annals of the National Education
association in connection with resolu-
tions demanding reforms in the ortho-
graphy of the English language In
one of the dispatches it was asserted
that W. D. Ross, state superintendent
of public instruction, Kansas, was
chairman of a committee appointed for
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHISON GLOBE.

Kicks continue to be on the free list.
The average woman is proud of nervous
prOStTation.
A thin man is always envious of the way
a fat man fills sweater.
What lot of old stuff a minstrel show
can spring, and get away with it,
A mental notation is a bad thing. Write
down what you want to remember.
Sometimes there isn't much difference
between a conservative and crouch.
During a blizzard, it isn't natural that
one should think how hot it was last sum-
mer
Don't get the notion that you aren't paid
what you are worth, if you would be
worth more
It may be hard to break unpleasant
news. but there is always some one ready
to tackle the job.
Don't blame the early discoveries be-
cause they overlooked a good many fine
real estate opportunities.
When you admit some one did better
than expected. it isn't Away to be con-
strued as a compliment.
Parents should find some consolation in
the fact that many more children run
away than stay away.
Ragtine has considera BILE popularity, in
view of the long start music had in the
race between the two.
Most of the cigar sign Indians are too
fat but they are realistic in the matter
of not bathing frequently.
1t is hard. we have observed, to make
trench digger appreciate the value of ex-
erciSe in the open air.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14

time to recover their former shape and
get the brains TO working. 1t was final
ly decided to be heroic, and Mr.. Col
fax passed around the house and came
to a halt before an open window just
as the thief tossed out a sack with the
family silver in it and prepared to fol-
low. He did follow. He was tackled
as his feet touched the ground, but he
was prepared for birthday surprises. He
hauled off and gave the hero one on
the jaw that sent him spinning, and
he did not stop his circular career until
his foot was set on the pan of that fox
trap and the jaws were about his leg.
The robber didn't wait to argue things
nor to shoulder his plumber. He just
faded and was no more. The hero wish
ed he could do the same thing. but he
couldn't.
A fox trap has powerful jaws but
no teeth. 1t is intended 60 hold Mr..
Reynard fast until he can be we'll lee
tured and then knocked on the head.
Young Mr.. Colfax found the trap gooo
for man or beast. 1t held him in a
wise. 1t hurt. 1t set him to forget
ting Laura Jean.
An open window-a sideboard plum
dered-a bag of silver under the win
dow-the robber trapped by accldent.
Anything better than that wanted py
even a one-horse lawyer?
And there he was when the gar
dener turned out at daylight TO ols-
cover him and call him names and OF
fer to punch his head, and boast Oh
how many years he'd get behind the
bars.
And there he was when the father
of Hazel Sanborn came out and called
him more names, and said his race
showed he was crook, and shook
big roll of bills in the victims face
and said the last dollar of it would
be spent to put him where he be-
ionged.
And there he was when Miss Hazel
came out and looked him over ana
showed pity in her eyes, and had MIN
released and said to her father:
Let us hear what he has to say be-
fore We send for the constable"
He'll lie and beg off, of course!'
Up to this time young Colfax had
said nothing. 1t looked to him as IL
it would be throwing breath away.
The pity in the eyes of the girl de-
ginning and made a clean breast OF
things.
"A dem likely story!' commented
Mr.. Sanborn when it was finished.
But I have met his Laura JEAN"
replied the daughter. Besides that,
there was a lot in the papers about
it,
Just then the constable came around
the house and said: 1--WE got the fell
Ter who got in here last night. At least
he says he did, and that some servant
came near nabbing him. He is a tramp
who tried his hand at burglar. Here
are some napkin rings 1 took from
his pockets
Mr.. Brian CoIfax ate breakfast with
the Sanborn family. After breakfast
the Sanborn family nursed his leg
and soothed his feelings.
Laura Jean may think she is ire
happy as bride, but if
Hazel Sanborn doesn't beat her all to
then there is nothing in signs
and predictions-(Copyr 1913, by
the Mcclure Newspaper Spudicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
The Diary of a Bonehead,

will never forget the moment when
the chauffeur departed and left me alone
with the diabolical thing. 1 was scared
sum didn't know the transmission from
the crank and if anybody had asked me
to point out the differential 1 would prob
ably have led him to the oil pump.
He left me alone with the thing down
town and had to drive home, a distance
mixed up in my mind, thoroughly
Jumb4ed as scrambled egg.
then remembered that L had built a
cute little plastered garage back of my
get to it. L made up my mind If 1 ever did
get to it the car would stay there 7
pulled every crank in sight, turned every
switch L could find and pressed every
button.
The thing started with a jerk that
nearly broke my back and it Immediately
hit up a pace of twenty-five miles an
hour. l. couldn't stop it, but, thank good
| could keep it in the road and off the
lawns.
I was pinched on the way home but
couldn't stop. yelled to the motor cop
that I would be in court at 9 o'clock the
next morning per instructions and went
on my way. How I ever hit the drive
way into my garage 1 do not know, but I
did and 1 entered the garage in fine style.
l not only entered 1t, but | went right
through it. carrying the back wall with
me. My engine went dead in my neigh
boris back yard, after ripping down three
fences and all of the clothes line in sight.
My first drive cost me S2S5, but I have
grown so proficient since that it rarely
costs me more than 800 for little spin.
l bought my car last year, but it is al
ready nine years behind the style L am
confident that I paid nearly all of the
Standard Oil company's dividends last
year.
Outside of these few drawbacks I enjoy
my automobile immensely
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
[From the Philadelphia Record.


1t isn't only the absent-minded man
who is always losing his temper
A mans conscience isn't tapt to trouble
him If he doesn't trouble it.
Even the undertaken regrets that bud
ding genius isn't always planted.
The fruiterer may have a poor memory
for names and faces. but he can always
remember dates.
Some fellows would have more use for
the milk of human kindness if they could
take it out of a bottle.
Blobbs-.'Do you believe in the weather
prOphets?" Slobbs-''Sure, I believe in
the weather profits. I'm in the UNI
brella business
Tommy-"Pop, what do we mean by
superfluous?" Tommy's Pop-"Super-
fluouS, my son, meanS-well. it's like
bachelor giving advice to married man"
Wigg-'1f the suffragettes gain their
point, do you believe woman will ever
make a successful Politician Wagg-
Undoubtedly. if she can stuff a ballot
box as well as she can pack a trunk"
First Bill Collector-'I tackled old
Harduppe today for an overdue account
Second Bill Collaboration did you
make out?" First Bill Collector-''Before
could get away he had borrowed IS from
me-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
Worship a Sacred Tooth.

At Handy, in Ceylon, is kept Bud
dha's tooth, which is the object of the
unbounded reverence of more than 400. =
600, 900 people.
When this holy moIar was brought to
Ceylon in the sixteenth century, Handy
was only a mountain village. Now
thousands of pilgrims go every year to
the gorgeous temple where the tooth
reposes, bringing gifts of every kind.
gold and silver ornaments, coins, jew
els and even fruit and flowers The
kings of Burma and Siam send annual
contributions toward the support of the
temple that holds the sacred relic.
which has a rather strange history.
1t is said to have been the left eye
tooth of Buddha and to have been
taken from his ashes $500 years ago
For centuries it was the marriage dow
er going with certain favored princes.
In the fourth century after Christ it
was taken from India, then the Mala-
bars secured it. It was afterward cap
tured by the Portuguese, who took it
to Goa where it was burned in 1860 by
the Archbishop in the presence of the
viceroy of India
But a spurious tooth had to be pro-
vided to effect an international mar
riage and the molar of a wild boar or
ape was used. Its dimensions show
that it could not be a mans, for it is
two inches long and one inch in diane
ter.
On important occasions it is dis
played, but only at a distance. 1t is
sometimes carried in professions on
the back of an elephant, but while in
the temple it repOses on a massive sill
yer table, encrusted with gems and fes-
TONED with jeweIed chains.-Tit-Bfts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
HUAOR or THE DIP

Binks does not appear to be contract
ing any new debts No; he is trying TO
contract the old ones to a more reaSon5bio
amount."-Buffalo Express.
george. you must go right AWAY and
ask papa for my hand" "That's ali riebt
little one 1 asked him first WHAT
You didn't wait to ask met Milky Mabel
IN Dusy httle man, grille, and / waste
no time on hances."-Cleveland plain
Dealer. 'oin
Johnny-"Tommy Browns mother mako,
MN go to sunday school" Mamma-"Why
40 you say she makes him go?" Johnnvy
because he goes-doesn't that prove If 7''
me vacuum system seems now 70 he
aPplled to everything" Quite SO.
know number of people who even thinlr
with it-'-Baltimore American. -N
Mapel thinks of becoming an autbor
ana TINS morning she asked me whicb
scnooi OF literature 1 would recominer1t1 :,
W nat did you tell her?" Il fold har
only knew of two kinds. The Kind tbat
uses thru and the kind that doesn,t
Cleveland Plain Dealer L
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14

spreading the simp1ified spelling
propaganda turnout Kansas"
We asked our state superintendent
short time ago what he knew about
the movement and he said in sub
stance, II had a letter from E. o.
Vale of Oak Park, Illinois, appointing
me on the committee. 1 never ans
wered his letter, nor have 1 expressed
any opinion concerning the subject"
In this drafting way, committees
are appointed. 1t is our belief that no
school, high or low, nor any college
or university supported by public taxa
ton has the right to change the spell
ing of English words without author
ity granted by the state legislature. 1t
will be remembered that Theodore
Roosevelt, when he was president of
the United States, issued an order that
a specified number of words-3O0 we
think-should be spelled in all docu-
ments printed for use of the several
departments in accordance with the
socalled ''simplified'' rules. But con-
gress imm ediately passed an act by
majority of about ten to one. disap-
proving the presidents action. Presi-
dent Roosevelt at once recognized the
superior power of congress and with
drew the order.
If a few professors in private col
leges desire to return to the spelling
of Dan Chaucer, Artemus Ward, P. Y.
Nasty and Josh Billings, it is their
privilege to do so, but their students,
when later they enter colleges in
which spelling fantasies are not recog-
nized will find it necessary to place
themselves in harmony with standard
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
BY THE WY
By HARVEY PARSONS.

In Mexico, a congressman makes his
will and says adios to his family be-
fore saying anything derogatory about
the president; in this country the pre-
liminarfes to such event are hiring two
stenographers and sending for the re-
porters.
From which we may gather that be-
ing congressman is much more
healthful in a land where the constit-
To be sure the Hoboken cop stopped
Maggie Teyte when she came down the
gang plank in silk Knockers, but it may
be observed that he did not stop her
until after her press agent and the
There may be a reason for every
thing, but why does a bald-topped cit
izen get his remaining locks trimmed
every week? Why doesn't he train
them to run up over the roof, like hon
eysuckle vines?
Johnsing, Anthracite pug, threatens
to never again dakhen the doah of
these United States. But in the face
of this national calamity, one may oc-
casionally see a smiling mug on the
main stem.
-
aret' gown? 1t looks like samhill, but
should prove a great boon to shoplift-
ers, as it is built along lines calculated
to conceal about two bushels of some
thing beside the woman inside it.
Jack Supp says a poor man is paying
installments on something all the time
from engagement ring to deathbed,
and then some one else takes up his
life work where he dropped it and be-
gins paying installments on his coffin.
Another case of profigacy of natural
resources and wild extravaganza is re-
ported from Lindsborg, where the
merry villagers threw hen fruit at At
torney Hanson, although eggs are 80
cents dozen and rocks are free.
1t is announced that the Kansas Pro-
gressives will travel alone next year.
But as yet there has been no yell of
anguish from other parties, and it may
not be necessary for the Progressives
to guard the gang plank against stray
glers when the Salt River packet
starts the trip.
The first woman juror" was excused
on the plea that she could not leave
her homework. If suffrage continues
to gain ground until some of the wo-
men are fully satisfied, that will be a
mans excuse for jumping jury duty
ten years hence.
Tulsa man who swatted his wife
with a brick because she swallowed a
diamond, was wrong in his system. He
should have given her an oyster we'll |
plastered with powdered sugar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
KANSAS COMMENT
THE ~s1MPL1FIED" SPELLING.

THE "SIMPLIF1ED" SPELLING.
The campaign for what. its friends
are pleased to call 1.-The simplited spell
ing" is still going on at Lawrence.
Sixty-seven of the professors of the
university have voted in favor of get
ting it into the Kansas spelling book
and 30 have voted against 1t. Wh1le
not opposing the simplified spelling the
Times sincerely hopes that the Kansas
text book commission will not commit
the folly of putting it in the Kansas
speller Until there is a general move
ment on the part of educators TO
change the spelling of English words
any such action on the part of the
state commission would be looked upon
simply as another cranky Kansas idea
and the result would be to bring us
into ridicule. The suggestion, we be-
ieve, is that both the old and the new
methods of spelling shall be taught in
our schools. That would inevitably
increase the difficulties of our pupils
and would make poorer instead of bet
Ter spoilers. Far better would it be to
restrict the words presented to the
pupils to those in common use-to such
words as the pupils will need in the
business of life. 1t has been ascertain
ed that 1000 words will cover the BUSH
ness vocabulary, but our school SPELL
ers present 10000 which the pupil is
expected to learn. Any pupil could be
maze practically perfect if drilled for
hVe or six years on 1000 words but
very Few who attempt to learn 10000
ever become good spellers.-Leaven-
worth Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A little man usually has a big voice.
I. + =
Among the clever folk are those who
are able to eat without working.
j. i i
Neither are the women of today open
to the criticism of being over-dressed
i j. +
Discreet people are always suspected
of cleverly covering up more or less
villainy.
+ + +
What has become of the old-fash-
toned school boys who staged fights
each day before and after school as
well as during recess?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14

Huerta seems to have established
the fact beyond peradvepture that he
is the undisputed boss of Mexico. But
his dictatorial attitude is not likely to
last for long. Some one of his friends
will be certain to stab him in the back.
Their laundering for the supreme COM
mand of that unfortunate nation is
just as strong as his. And Huerta has
set the precedent that a life in high
estate in Mexico is as nothing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14
DE PROFUNDIS

Thomas Mott Osborne, chairman of
the New York state prison reform
commission, is excellently press-agent-
ing his trip down into the ranks of
New York prison inmates from which
depths, it is said, he will emerge with
more intimate knowledge of the effect
of prison confinement upon the minds
OF conVfcts. Mr.. Osborne has had his
halr cut, his mustache shaved, has
taken the prison bath, been given a
cell, and set to work as "new-comer''
with the burglars, petty Iarcenists and
others just committed. Nevertheless.
1t is doubtful if Mr.. Osborne will sue
ceed in gaining much real inner view.
he goes with the knowledge of the
prison authorities, the turnkeys. the
foreman, the guards even of the con-
victs themselves. If he really wanted
to know what happens to a convict he
should have lost himself in New York'e
underworld, then managed to get
'pinched' in the act of CRAWLING infS
somebody's front window. Promptly
railroaded" into Sing Sing, he wouId
then have obtained and been connneII-
ed to swallow an inimitable compound
of prison actualities.-New Orleans
Item.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-14

Although the expense of conducting
the juvenile court in Shawnee county
is of some proportions, it is worth the
money. Youthful offenders are en-
titled to another chance, and the tax
payers should be glad to pay the bills
to give them one.