The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-24

"The way names got started is
something that none of us fellows
knows, but as likely as not most Of
'em was accidental For instance, a
fellow from Toadvine would move
into the Panhandle, and announce to
the settlers there that his name was
Bill, and his locality originally was
Toadvine. In the course of few
months the Panhandlers would allude
to him as Bill Toadvine, and he'd tote
that name from then on.
History don't give no account of
!. where all the Hill-bfllys inhabiting these
mountains started from, but we are sure
different breed from the people of the
level lands. and the big towns From the
sand hills of North Carolina down to
Pine-log in Tallapoosa County, Alabama,
there lives a canny, slimp-faced, truth
loving, whiskey- drinking. fighting. relig-
ious race of men as cannish as the
cotch--long-memoried like Injuns. good
with a gun, sleered of Ghosts, and kin
to whole counties at one time. They all
look alike, have got names that sound
sorter like, and they all must have come
from the same place.
Not Really Necessary
Having a name amt really necessary
TO party's we'll being, but it Is some
handy for purposes of identification.
When am arresting a chap it don't make
no difference with me whether he claims
his name is Bill Smoke, Senator Bever-
age, or the Archangel Gabrel--he knows
what his name is, and / don't, but when
] lock that fellow in the jug l know that
he is there. Reckon names started in the
Old Times when Whiskers and Patriarchs
abounded, and the head of a Family was
the daddy of Eighty to two hundred and
thirty sons, more or less. At first, may
be. the Old Man crapped and branded 'em
like cattle-which worked all right, un-
less Jacobs herd of kids got mixed up
with Esau's. and the brands being alike
the wrong chap sometimes got wallopped
1t wasn't no use trying to designate them
numerous children by numbers. as them
ancient Petryarch's couldn't count, hav-
ing completely ignored the Multiplication
Table though they was told to Increase
and multiply
I'm the course of time 4 husky buck
boy Of Esaus OUTFIT. who is just exactly
alike sixteen other brothers-except foi
having game ankles, gets to be called
"Box-ankle-ed Esau likewise butt-cut
of youth of the house OF Jacob who
can't be told apart from Twenty mine
other Jakes-otherwise than from the fact
that he Is shy some molars. acquires the
cognomen of Snaggle-tooth Jacob. Years
roll on and the Daughters of the Ameri-
can Revolush gets to digging up Ances-
try. with the result that It is proved con-
clusively that every cnapter in the coun-
try has daughters directly descended from
Esau Boxancle and Jacob Snaggletooth
The Smith Family
Mistress Jordan Spraws. who was Sis
Enoch before she welded. has filed pa
pers with her Chapter showing that her
Family was lineally descended from the
Patriarch lfnoch who walked with
God''-although her great granddaddy
was a Dutch Tory woh had an Indian
Squaw for wife during the American
Revolution. The initials of a man $ name
happened in about the same way. The
Smith family. being as fertile as rabbits
and much more numerous. has enough
boys to stock a Orphan Asylum. One oil
'em has a protuherant stomach-a tum-
mie that iuts out into the landscape like
a portico to Church-it amt ornamental
being too obvious for decorative purposes
and this here Smith is ragged about that
cow-catcher development of his, a whole
lot, until he gets peeved. His derisive
friends tack on the name of "Pot-belied
Smith" to this individual-they write him
Post cards from Brent, Alabama, show.
ing the clubhouse and swamp near the
blacksmith shop, and other Post cards
from Gadsden. with colored view OF
Amos Goodhue, and the Cotton Mill al
Alabama City, addressing him as "P. B
Smith," so that in course of years he
latches on to them initials and becomes
p. b. Smith. all right.
"Old Adam Schwindler, a fine old Dutch