The Madison journal., 1913-03-15
Copyright by the Bobbs- Merrill Coz

| had been educated at Tuskegee ana
was suspected of being "biggity.'
The chairman gave her gloomy
nod. mo doubt, my sistah. no doubt
hankerin' ayfter de fiesh-pots Of Egypt
done fotch some po' sinnahs L de al
tar. | amt complainin' of de carnil
an carniferous food she done give US,
but OF de spitichul nu'ishment. | new
did see a mo'ner rollin' on dis fio
wilst Sist Humphreys ben yere. We
all ben thirstin' an famishin' TO
good ol'-time revival. But We enjured
! ontwel one day de glory come on
Br'er Pope. an he hollered-tryin' TO
lif us all up-Amen! Amen! Let
de sinner quit sinnin' an he shall be
saved! An dat ar woman she call
out: Yes; let i'm quit sinnin! Let
J i'm quit sellin' of aigs to de sto' wen
| he don't be keepin' only one hen! Dat
ar remark incinerated false an wick
ed notions bout Unc' A.ick Pope. who
lives nigh de cunnels chicken-yard."
"a solitary giggle from the school
mistress) She done fa1y rar an
charge bout chicken-stealin'. Dat
amt promote edderfication nor good
feelin'." (Groans of assent from
deeply interested audienceD But mex
Sabbath come wuss. She done an
nounce She ben 'lowin' to preach us a
serious discourse on de Ten Command
mints. Well, we-all done look dem
commandments up an study on dem
heap. We felt tol'able secure on de
Fust an Second, she lumpin' dem to-
gedder fo' one out at preachin'; an
We sat back easy, hopin' TO grace an
| true religion; but she jes slued roun'
/ on to conjure-cha'ms an such. invagin'
ag'in' dem twell We got all de devo-
tional feelin' plumb squoze outen us.
Third Commandmint we natchelly
didn't expec' no harm of; but ayfter
| de fust godly words bout profane
| SWARM, ef she didn't git on to false
SWARM befo' the gran jury, bout
crap-shootin', en- git us all terrible on
comfortable. Mex command she
didn't ben sound on, sayin' a heap
bout washin' up In tubs Satiddy
nights, an tew little bout de spitichul
observation Of the holy day; an come
down hard on a respected brother who
sayd once, L isn't to wash in winter
an sayd bad wuds bout sisters dat
went visitin' Sattidy evenin's, stidder
washin up ready TO de holy day;
sayd some sisters me- did wash de po'
little tricks shirts, jes' taken a new
four-sack an cut holes in 1t. She
talked like dat ontwel 1t ben right
ondecent and onchristian; an one Sis
ter dat's subjec' to fits providenchelly
done t'rowed on an bruk up de meet
in. But we-all sorter done spunk up
on de Fir Commandment; looked lax
hit ben sho' HARMLESS; an We done
to deir parents. Well, dey sho' got 1t!
But den she done scorched de par
ents nightly bout de 'zample dey
ben bleeged to set de chillen. Dat
ar ben a fearful, sufferin' hour, an |
new did see dis yere congregation so
dry an havin' to git out de pump so
often. Dey went by whole families;
an befo' she ben frow mighty nigh
ever las chill ben taken outside. We
didn't dast let 'em see frow it."
(Groans all over the house.) "She
nigh bust de chu'ch on de Sixth Com
mandmint wild outrageous remaks on
razors. An next Sunday comes de
Seventh Commandment, an we amt
nowise willin' to enjure her handlin'
Of dat. nohow." deep groans of as
sent from brothers and sisters alike. }
Nor de Eight neider." (No, mol"
from the seat Of Uncle Alexander
Pope.) "Wust is, de ongodly outside,
de Methodists an de cullud folks from
de Ridge, is fixin' to come over an
see we-all ripped up. De chu'ch house
ben plumb full over Sabbath, an We
all don dast stay way, not KNOWN
what scandillous stories will be circu-
lated" ("Dat's SOL" "Holp, Lord!"
from earnest souls in the audience. }
An de chu'ch is losin' Of members.
Bruddah Dan Williams done moved
away" Ono, sab. no, he amt; he
ben sent to de pen') Il didn't say
how come he moved, Brudder Car.
roll; he are gone. Unc' Jim Hollis
done bandon his crop. Aunt Gale
donia Ray lef' las week count of in
jur'us reflections bout a mince pie
she done mix up by mistake wild de
weeks wash she taken FUN de big
house. We done pied wild Sist' Hum.
phreys to quit; but she won't quit.
Now de question am: How shill we git
saved fom Sist' Humphreys an git
a preacher will preach religion-an'
muffin else?"
Amid deep hum of applause Broth.
er Morrow sat down. Half a dozen
voices begged for attention; but the
chair recognized Sister Susannah Belle
Coffin. Sister Susannah was Of ex
ceeding comeliness and a light-brown
complexion. II report spake truly
there was no one in Zion who had
more reason to dread fearless and
minute exposition Of the demands oi
the Seventh commandment. She had
started her career as a destroyer oi
domestic peace with capital Of good
looks, q gift for cookery, a voice OF
silver. and two small unpremeditated
children. "A single pusson like me
wild no chillen." would be her plain
tive excuse for demanding the goot
offices Of the brothers in cutting woot
or palm in her gyardin;" and toe
often. under the spell Of Susannah'i
eyes and Susannah's voice and Su