davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Breaking the Ice.

Now, Miss Imogene," argues the
young man who has been receiving
the frigid stares and the monosyllabic
replies Of the fair young thing who
chose to become offended at him at
the dinner and continued to accumu-
late indignation at the opera, its per-
fectly useless for yod to attempt to
act like an iceberg. Science tells us
that only one-eighth Of an iceberg is
visible, and you"
Considering the fact that she was
wearing an evening gown, he really
might have exercised a bit more tact.
Judge.
Many a fellow lays his heart at the
feet of a girl who deliberately kicks a
goal with it.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Young Man Took Warning.

Charles" said sharp voiced wom-
an to her husband in a railway car,
do you know that you and once had
a romance in a railway carr"
Never heard of it," replied Charles,
in a subdued tone.
Il thought you hadn't, but don't you
remember it was that pair Of slippers
l presented to you the Christmas be-
fore we were married that led TO our
union? You remember how nicely
they fitted, don't you? Well, Charles,
one day when we were going to pic
mic you had your feet up on seat, and
when you weren't looking took your
measure. But for that pair of slip
pers l don't believe we'd ever been
married"
A young unmarried man, sitting by,
Immediately took down his feet from
seat.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Desperate Remedy,

From the roof of building the
stranger looked down upon a park
whose spare grass, scraggy shrubbery
and stunted trees were almost tram
pied out of sight by human mob that
surged round a speakers platform in
the middle of the park.
Whats up?" said the stranger "a
suffragist riot?"
Worse than that" said the guide.
"The park grass has been in a bad
way for several months, and local
politician has called mass meeting of
the citizens to discuss plans for saw
ing it."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
CLIMBING Up.

art in America is not respected"
said Arthur Stringer, the poet and
novelist. What ice does poet cut
among US compared with a Rockefel-
Ter or a Carnegie?
Poets are rated incredibly low
here. AS | reclined in a hammock
poetizing on farm lawn last week,
tramp approached and asked the
farmers wife for pie.
She gave him pie, and, while he
ate, they conversed. | heard snatch
of their conversation.
"'You say you used to be a poetf
said the woman.
'Yes'm,' replied the tramp. That's
how l got my start"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
RaiIroad-Spike Fuller That Can Be
Operated in Various Positions,

the necessary amount of pressure is
brought to bear upon the lever extend
ing across the track, as shown. The
hooks also enable the device to be
moved along the top of the rail, from
spike to spike, without lifting the
puller, which may be operated outside
of rail, beneath cars, upon trestles,
and between guard rails.-Popular
Mechanics.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Tobacco in OIden Times.

Frequent essays are made by anti
quarians to show that the use of to-
bacco was known to the Chinese, or
the Hindostanee, or the Egyptian, etc,
ages before the practice was observed
by the sailors of Columbus. Efforts
in this direction have not been sue
cessful or impressive.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
NOT HARD TO MAKE A GUESS
Asylum Superintendent Does Net Re-
veal Name Of Last Relative TO Wis
IL Lunatie, but We Know II.

The lunatics tore up and down the
white beach; they howled and leaped
in the blue sea, quite like sane peo-
pie.
They enjoy the summer outing at
our shore branch" the superintendent
said. 1T does EN- good, poor dubs!
IT'S a funny thing about a luna.
tics relatives. There are reliable sta
tistics about the way a lunatic's rela-
tives stand by him.
The relative who stands by luna
tic least, who stops visiting him in
the asylum first of all. is brother.
The next relative to drop off is a
wife. That sounds hard, but it's true.
Don't count on your wife If you are
going to become a lunatic. Next, hus-
bands drop of. A little truer than
wives husbands are, but only little.
Next fathers abandon the lunatic.
Next sisters. .s
"One relative never abandons him
till she dies, or he dies, She comes
regularly on visiting day, bringing un-
derwear and ties, cakes and tobacco
provided, of course, that the luna
tics a male. If it's a female this
relative is equally faithful. And even
though, as sometimes happens, the
poor, mad creature hates her, curses
her, tries to strike her when she visits
him, she still remains faithful. When
her visits cease they cease for only
one reasonAdeath.
Nor do l need to tell you which
relative this one is"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

Upton Sinclair was talking about
certain millionaire malefactors whose
crimes always went unpublished.
IT'S hard to understand" said Mr..
Sinclair, how these men escape ret
ribution unless it be, indeed, that
they're too small for the meshes of
the net"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
MAKES SPIKE-PULLING EASY
New Device Does the Work Easily
and With Minimum of Labor
Expended.

This railroad spike puller is attach
ed to the rail by means of two hooks,
one extending down from each side
of the upright foot of the machine A
clawlike attachment clamps the head
of the nail, which is withdrawn when
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Friendly Tip

Ragman-Any old bottles today.
mum?
Woman-No; but you might try Mr..
Soakcm's S, next door; his wife's COM
ing back from, the seashore tomorrow.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

Why dId You drop OF the water
wagon"
1T WAS so crowded | couldn't get q
seat" explained the other man, lamely.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
ROYAL Metamorphosjs.

"The King, changing into four
horsed carriage, drove through the Cat
tie section"
A characteristic example of kingly
tact.-Punch.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Gettinq Close to Nature.

This is an interesting moving pio
ture of frog culture"
Yes, and if it were a talking NOV
ing picture, we might even hear the
frogs creak."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Fashionable Saatearium

The bo@s is worried about the new
patient"
He seems weak"
Yes; too weak TO sligo 9 check
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Not for lono

Now ] am twenty onA. and my
own maEt~s!"
Yes, but you are engaged"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Not ALWAYS,

"A soft answer turns away wrath. 4"
well, Jim Jones only got madden
when / told him he was mushy."
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
As Usual

Who scored the new musical COM
edy?"
The critics, chiefly"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Mean Man,

Papa, want an ice cream sundae"
"All right, dear, remind me of it
again, this is only Tuesday"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Sign.

SIS this feast to be mad revel?'
Guess so; can see the champagne
bottles foaming at the mouth"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Chidren
teething, softens the gums, reduces inaammA-
tion, allays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottleLE
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
BRIDGE to Cost Millions.

Railroads will build a S4,500,000
bridge over the Ohio river, between
Metropolis, ILL.,, and Paducah, Ky.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
They Probably VII.

"Womens skirts are to be tighter
than ever the coming season."
Il don't care, let 'em rip"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Handsome is as Handsome Does.

Sanford-So you don't believe in
judging a man by his clothes?
Crabshaw-No, indeed! That's the
way we Judge woman, and look how
we get fooled Judge.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

At the Railway Restaurant.
What shall | order for lunch?"
Since you need iron in your blood,
why not order some railroad frogs?"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22
Came.

Well" remarked the wild duck as
the hunter brought him down, at any
rate | die game"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

The average yearly profit at the
Casino, Monte Carlo, is 100000.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

I'm not denyin the women are fool.
ish; God almighty made 'em to match
the men.-George Eliot.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1913-08-22

A delicious combination of ginger, aromatics
and French brandy for the relief of cramps,
palms, colds, chills, weakness nervousness and
insomnia. Look for the Owl Trade Mark on
the wrapper, lest you get cheap, worthless or
dangerous substitute. Forty years the standard
of purity, favor and strength. Sold by all
druggists and grocerS,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
there will be another Jolt and an
other and the valley will come into its
own.
The American EIao.

Let us. standing by our fathers
graves, swear anew, and teach the
oath to our children. that with Gods
help the American republic, clasping
this continent in its embrace, shall
stand unmovable though all the powers
Of slavery, piracy and European jeal-
ousy should combine to overthrow 1t;
that We shall have in the future, as we
nave had in the past, one country, one
constitution and one destiny; that our
sons may gather strength from our
example in every contest with the de.
potism that time may have In store to
try their virtue, and tina. they may raj
ly under the stars and stripes to battle
for freedom and the rights of man,
with our old time warcry. Liberty
and union, now and forever, one and
inseparable. "-Joha jay, July 4, 1861
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

really notebooks, or commonplace
books, In which he jotted down, not
events, but the rough material of his
lectures and essays. Thoughts that
are familiar to the world through his
published works will be found scat
tered through these Jornals in the
rough and fragmentary form In which
they first came to him, and he fire.
auently recast his idea in both verse
and essay form. These parallelisms
are we'll known to students OF Emer.
son. and are one Of the most interest
ing indications of the growth OF a
thought In his mind.
The note in his 1855 Journal does
not use the word "mousetrap, but
IT SO closely parallels the quotation
which Mrs. Yule credits to him in
her book of Borrowings, and which.
ITO the best of her memory and be-
lief" she says she copied into her
handbook from an address delivered
by Emerson, that it would seem 70
establish Emerson's authorship be.
ycnd reasonable doubt. To para
phrase the famous quotation:
IF a man can phraEe a telling
thought. though he write it in his pri-
vate journal, or speak 1t In a lyceum
lecture, the world will catch 1t up
and blazon his name on post cards.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
INDUS.
APPRENTICESHIP AND IfNDU'
TRIAL TRAINING.

That apprenticeship is the main re-
lance OF Industrial training In Ger
many. and that 1t might be desirable
to revive it in some form in this coun-
try is the conclusion of DIR. Holmes
Beckwith, who has prepared for the
United States bureau Of education
study OF German industrial education
and It's lessons for the United states.
"Wasteful though the old apprentice
ship was OF the apprentices time and
effort, apprenticeship in It's newer
forms, both in Germany and the Unit
ed States, has in 1t much of promise
for the future training Of Industrial
workers. says DR.. Beckwith. No
better way, or even as good, has yet
been devised for the main training of
the mass Of industrial workers than
I in the shops where they are employed
and by those who supervise their
work.
DR.. Beckwith suggests that If all
employers pay the cost Of adequate
training for any youthful workers
whom they may employ as apprentices,
the burden will not be serious. He
points to instances both here and
abroad to prove that firms employ
ing bona fide apprentices, today find
that their apprenticeship system pays"
Revival of apprenticeship alone Will
not solve the problem, however.
What we should strive for" declares
Dr. Beckwith, is such broadening In
dustrial training as will supplement
the narrower range Of skill and knowf-
edge and give the specialized worker
greater resource. Specialization is
is probably more widespread in the
United States than in Germany, and
this constitutes an added need which
we have for industrial education great
er than that In Germany.
Industrial schools, then, we must
I have, and in far greater numbers. to
NEE. the needs of far more workers
than at present. Otherwise We can
make little claim to really popular
education of the sort closest to the
workers activities"
Dr.. Beckwith notes the present a.
wakened interest in industrial educa-
ton in the United States, but issues a
word OF caution. He fears that unless
the vocational movement is carefully
guided II will lead to waste Of money
by states and cities and unwise choice
of schools to do the work He describ-
] es In some detail the German indus
/ trial education system and typical
schools, with a view to presenting the
best OF German experience as guide
to American practice.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
.rons OF the haberdasheries.

irons of the haberdasheries. Some
men prefer to supply their own
needs, and they do this generally in
regard to clothing, hats and shoes.
But in almost every other particular
women do the buying.
Manifestly. then, 1t is woman, rather
than man, the retailer and the adver
tiser Is most DESTROYS OF reaching.
and, n,anifestly also, It is Of the
greatest Importance that women
shall know how to buy Instructive
~, they are better shoppers than
men. Men are hurried, indisposed to
bargaining, inclined to buy what they
do not need. Women, as rule. are
keen, prudent. economical. They
can, and do, make dollar 60 to It's
full length. Men are to be congrat,i.
lated that they have women to stand
between them and waste OF income
and time in shopping Most men are
properly grateful that their interests
are so Loyalty and capably guarded.
These men, generally speaking, by
the way, are the men who have ac-
counts with the savings banks, who
take shares In cooperative compa-
MES, who build homes. who succeed
In worldly affairs and who are bless
ed with comfort and contentment It
all comes from an equitable. because
wise. division Of responsibility and
confidence in the domestic relation
ship.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
oRAToRY AS Isl oRAToRY.

For oratory as Is oratory," of the
good old-fashioned spread-eagle kind,
the country will not be disappointed
If 1t pins its faith and expectations to
Hon. J. K. Vardaman of Mississippi
AS an earnest of what he can do in
this line we append his peroration of a
recent forensic efflorescence:
The women should be recognized
II had the building of suitable
statue to American womanhood,
would mold its base as large as eter.
nifty; for its shaft would use the
everlasting granite of truth, and
would build 1t SO high that its pierc-
ing pinnacle should reach through the
clouds into the fairest san tuaries OF
heaven in order that the two maidens
i would place thereon could whisper
Into the ear Of God Almighty In the
hand of the maiden clad in blue
would place the stars and st-ipes. and
the maid in gray should have the
stars and bars, while the angelic
chorus Of seraphim and cheruhim
Joined in singing Yankee Doodle
and Dixie"
Oratory will not be thing Of the
past as long as we have with us 4
distinguished fellow citizen who car
'orate" like that.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
a DIPLOMAT.

A prominent Los Angeles, Cal,
woman had a birthday last week.
She did not advertise it, but her son,
presuming on a long friendship, un.
dertook to remind her as graciously
as possible of the event. After he
bought the flowers he wasn't just
sure that the lady was still pleased
to celebrate her anniversary, and so
he appended the following tactful ex-
PLANTATION of his delicate offering,
made public in the columns OF the
Times Of that city:
A cautious man approaches the
subject of lady's natal anniversary
with considerable trepidation. He is on
the horns of dilemma from which
he may escape only by the utmost
dexterity or through the greatest good
fortune. II he refer to the occasion
the lady may mistake friendly solicit
tude for yelled sarcasm and rightly.
not to say rightfully, resent such ri.
baldry. If, on the other hand, he
choose what seems to him the pres.
ent course, and ignore the calendar,
he is like to call down upon himself
the just Indignation of the object OF
his apparent lack of interest or mem
DRY. And what is SO terrible as the
Just indignation of woman. except II
be her unjust Indignation? To speak
seriously, however, ones birth is
properly the one thing of all the
things in life upon which one NAV be
felicitated, since Il is the one thing
of all the things in life over which
one can have absolutely no control
Therefore no suspicion either Of de
sire to blame or intent to fatter car
attach to the well-wisher."
1t goes without saying that thf
young man who wrote the foregoins
is real diplomat. His wisdom vii
be especially appreciated by ladies
who yet have birthdays.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
The Great keokuk Dam.

Rock Island Union: The CONNER
cial world is beginning to appreciate
the power development of the Miss
issippi river and its possibilities. The
completion OF the great dam at Keo-
kuk has caused the awakening. Under
the heading of THE Worlds Greatest
Waterpower' the Literary Digest OF
this week devotes over a page, with
three fine illustrations, to the Keokuk
proposition. The inspiration for the
article was the Electrical World New
York; in which an editorial recently
appeared speaking of the keokuk de-
velopment as "by far the mightiest
Ilowhead proposition ever undertaken.
One OF the troubles with the people
Of this section Of the world is that
they do not realize or appreciate
their own advantages. And II they
do not how shall the rest Of the world
appreciate them? Our greatest forces
have been either overlooked or ig-
nored Interests have been made to
operate against them. Or, having
seen the possibilities, we have MOI.
1 DteH hDie W uIiiiLp thVu SitbOA
through lack Of initiative or want Of
capital
But the east Is looking this way
lis manufacturers and its men OF
4 finance are becoming cognizant OF
our opportunities There we're mil
lions of capital ready to invest In the
Keokuk project and 1t wasn't western
capital either And there will be
more This great central waterway
/ will be lined with indutries in the not
distant future. Here manufacturing
concerns will be within easier reach
OF the consumer Here freight rates
will be better controlled and more
equitable. Here will be for all time
I che center Of population of the country.
From Mississippi river points freight
can be shipped to all of the parts OF
the world by water These and many
other advantages are being discerned
and viii have their weight with east
ern investors.
The advertisement the Keokuk
dam is giving the Mississippi river
valley will be of inestimabla valve to
us all. 1t is the "jolt" that was need
ed to adjust the lenses" Some dar
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
WOMAN AS MANS PURCHASING
AGENT.

II is fact long recognized by
shrewd retailers and careful adyer-
Users that woman is the worlds
spender. Her disbursements for fam
lily supplies are enormous. II is not
the great industry. mercantile estab-
lishment or bank that puts into cir
culation the money that keeps the
world going; 1t is the housewife. Re
move her transactions from trade op-
erations and stagnation would result
The industries, the mercantile insti'
tutions and the banks owe their pros
perity to her. On the other hand
they are her conyeniences. Perhaps
she handles only small part of the
incomes OF the very rich, but the In
comes of the very rich are at on2a
drawn from the concerns to which
she directly or indirectly gives her
patronage, and are either directly 81
indirectly invested In the concerns
that supply her wants. She handl Is
the largest part OF the incomes ol
the well-to-do. She handles practic
ally all the income OF the poor. The
man works and earns, general,
speaking; the woman spends. How
well she spends is determining fac
Tor in the welfare of the man, in thu
welfare Of the community and thu
nation With these facts in mind the
Christian Science Monitor goes on e
say:
! Woman is mans purchasing agent
Even with regard to matters OF pc
culiar personal interest to himself
the man prefers that she conduct ths
dealings. 1t is an interesting discov
cry that women tllrong the mems
furnishing departments OF the bi:
stores. thnt they are important ma
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

A state food inspector who was
in Dubuque the other day ex-
planned in few words how the PEG
pie can make the new sanitary laws
a success. The Times-Journal Of
that city quotes him as follows:
He suggested that II people would
pctronize only those dealers who
comply with the law all dealers would
be forced to get in line for self-pres-
ervation. That is the key to the stu
alton. The dealer who violates the
pure food regulations is not as much
afraid of the law as he is of finan-
cial loss.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

The editors and postmasters are TO
meet here July 10, and the Sunday
school editor OF the Columbus Safe
guard predicts that it will be the big
gest time by dam site they ever had.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

A West Virginia newspaper reports
that a man named Peck was stung by
bees and SO badly poisoned that his
body "swelled to nearly twice its nat
ural size The curiosity manifested
by the Des Moines Tribune is entirely
natural. 1t wonders If that made
Peck feel like half bushel.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

Looks as though there was some
truth in certain age-old superstitions.
It has been demonstrated that 1t is
bad luck for black cat to cross the
road lin front OF an automobile. Bad
for the cat.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

The people of the United States
last year consumed ali average of n
gallons of whiskey or brandy and two
thirds Of a barrel of beer. 1t is evil
dent that somebody has been getting
a good deal more than his share.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

The efforts of the Republicans and
Progressives to get together seem to
the Quincy Wing to be almost as en-
thusiastic as small boy bringing in
wood.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

Charlie A. White. from whom the
Chicago Tribune bought the big
story about Lorimer, called at that
newspaper office the other day to
borrow rs cents. A knave and his
money are soon parted Mulhall's
turn next.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

If there were no waste in Amer.
lea, there would be no high cost of
living" Appearances arc more than
usually misleading If there isn't n
large truth embodied in those few
words
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.

Don't try to be happy. Happiness Is
shy nymph, and il you chase her you
will never catch her; but just go quiet
ly on in the way of duty and she will
come to you.-Eliphalet Mott.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1913-07-06

Colonel Mulhalls letter files dem
onst-ate for the 'steenth time that
letters are more dangerous than dy
Mantle.