davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
TAKE YOUR CHOICE.


This may be bit of post impresslonisd
literature, or 1t may be perfectly other1
wise bit of piffle for those who keep up
with the led page columns of the coun-
try. Draw your own conclusion.
Ponderous Personases of good Dlmen-
sion, Just from Georgia and Adrift with
the Times, Indulge in Evening Talk Along
the By-Paths, Tampering with Trifles.
They tarry Just Minute by the sprigs
O. Mint. Philosophers of Folly hanging
Jabs and Jibes On the Clothes Horse OF
Plain Deals. Alternate Grins and Groans
possess the Tennesse'uns. All of which,
the Gingging Ghoopus says, is merely
Breakfast Table Chat to fill A Line o.
Type or Two.-Dixon Merritt. in Nash
Vile Banner.
On the Spur of the Moment we think
you should have added Little Yarns OF
the Day for Lagniappe.-Houston Post.
MISSING.
oh. for the old-fashioned woman-
For her our heart doth yearn,
Who nearly had conniption fit
When her cake began to burnt
THEN TAKES ANOTHER.
"Dobbs says he can take drink or
let 1t alone"
Il notice he prefers to take drink
and then let 1t alone'
THE TRUE FAN.
Though nations bleed
And reformers rage.
He'll always read
The sporting page.
COLD WATER.
"The clarity of Dillburys vision. at all
times and all seasons, is remarkable"
Il guess that is due in part to thu
clarity of the stuff he drinks
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
UNDERWOOD, THE WORKER

From the Atlanta Constitution.
Although he has returned to work, dis
patches report that his physicians have
warned Chairman Oscar Underwood of
the ways and means committee, that un-
less he more carefully conserves his
strength he will confront breakdown.
The warning is timely and for his own
sake no less than for that of the party
it is to be hoped the Alabamian will cut
down his pace.
The task of tariff revision alone is a
proverbial talxer of human toll. Dingley,
Mckinley, even Payne and Aldrich
emerged from their several experiments
with strength notably impaired. The
drain is both mental and physical. The
man who is steering revision must famil-
iarize himself, superficially at least, with
numberless schedules and their intricacies.
He must study with experts and have a
working knowledge of the economic effect
of the changes he is advocating. He
must wrestle with the representatives Of
the interests affected. He must be COM
bina ton of arch-diplomat, conciliator, ty-
rant and economic expert. And then, the
most crucial of all tests, he must stand
on the floor of the house for days and
sometimes weeks, repelling assaults, ex-
planning, watching for and extracting
the '.jokers'' with which the amendments
of the opposition or of selfish benefciaries
TEEN. Remembering that all this work
makes a man lose sleep, miss his meals
and live life of general irregularity, the
prodigious strain is family comprehended
All of this Underwood has accomplished
with rare success and fidelity. In addi-
ton, he has assumed charge practically
of all house legislation since his partys
return to power. Whatever the fate OF
tariff revision, or of the legislative pro-,
gramme generally, the ability and energy
of Underwood will be a foremost factor
in its execution He is not a spectacular
or a self-advertising statesman. But he
has already written himself as one of the
party's finest assets, and, regardless OF
party, constructive leader of high value
to the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
Assistant Secretary williams

Il read with much interest what the
Baltimore Manufacturers Daily Record
said the other day about Senator La
Toilette and John SHELTON Williams"
said member of the Chamber of Com
merce.
'LaFollette, it seems, has been criti-
cizing the administration for the ap-
pointment of Williams as Assistant Sec
retary of the Treasury because of Wall
street connections / have known Mr..
Williams for many years and I think
all who know him or are familiar with
his record will agree that his appoint
ment was ideal.
CAS- the Manufacturers Record re-
marked, Shelton Williams is anything
but a Wall street man. He has been
lambasting Wall street for years past.
He is the man who built up the Sea-
hoard Air Line and was its president
for several years, but all the time he
was working Independently of what was
known as Wall street. At this time he
is not even a director in the Seaboarl
Air Line" -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
A BRAVE FIGHT AGAINST ODDS

With her Illuminating smile the answer
came, IF can play on an organ. it must
be hand organ"
rs your sense of touch abnormally
keen?' was another question.
1T is the same as yours. but it has been
developed more thoroughly
How about the sense of taste?'
With another laugh came the answer:
'I like good things to eat"
Someone asked do you practice mem
tai healing?' There was here a mo-
ment's confusion between the words
feeling and "healing'' but when heal
ing" was finally understood the reply
came like flash:
HI'm no doctor.'
The joy of hearing this part of Miss
Kelers talk was that it gave one the
sense of listening to a bright. happy, nor
NAL girl, who loved her friends her home.
her work In life and her books. As to her
books, one question brought out her in
terest in current literature
How long have you bsep interested in
socialism,"
"Since l read III. G.. Wells book, New
Worlds for Old about two years ago."
was the answer.
The Spectator began by saying that the
climax of Helen Keler's address was in
the words cited in the first of these para
graphs. Bpt on reflection he thinks that
the real climax of the occasion was when
hearer asked. ''Do you know when we
applaud? Pupil and teacher came to
the footlghts, where there was no floor
covering to interfere with the vibrations,
and Miss Kellers face assumed an intent
expression while the theatre rang with
struggled to light through darkness and
who had voiced message of love and
inspiration to everyone present.
eyes, know you are applauding; I feel
it," were the words that told that her
friends had communicated In return their
love and sympathy to the imprisoned soul
that had escaped its bonds and was Free
charges him with being sinful enough to
be identified are comparatively insignif-
cant lines which Williams and his asso-
ciates have been developing during the
last few years Independent of all Wall
street operations or connections, and when
Williams accepted the appointment as as
sistant secretary of the treasury he
promptly retired from the dictatorship of
all the business interests with which he
has been connected.
And now Senator LaFollette, who has
posed before the country as a leader
claiming to know things. puts forth what
may aptly be called "tile aIriest bubble
that ever found lodgment in an empty
head"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
Demand for Timber Lands

There is rapidly increasing demand
for timber lands" said Charles II. Scott
of Montgomery, who represents various
land interests.
"Stumpage that could have been
bought few years ago for So or So
will easily bring So now. TO such an
extent have timber lands been acquired
by strong parties 1t will be difficult
to find any large tract for sale few
years hence for anything like what
might be considered moderate price
now Stumpage is sure to bring fancy
figures in the very near future.
81 am arranging to move from Mont
gomery to Birmingham and I expect
to open an office here by the first of
Nav"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
Testing Southern Talent

"Mr. Adrian NJ Newens, staff critic,
and Mr.. Alfred Williams, musical direc-
tor of the Redpath bureau, will be in
Birmingham April is and 10 to hear ap-
plicants for musical and elocutionary
positions from all parts of the south, .
said b, B. Burton of the Cable Shelby
Burton Piano company
'The Redpath bureau Is in our new
Gable hsf on Second avenue. 1t is
southern headquarters for the Redpath
and will steadily grow in Importance
as a distributing lyceum point.
with regard to testing southern tall
ent the Lyceum News says: For several
months past applications have been COM
ing in from this southern territory from
musicians and others and, rather than
ask them to come to Chicago. It has
been arranged to hear them at Birming-
ham, Not only individuals, but conf
panies are among those who have all
ready arranged for hearing. It is
conceded that there is as excellent tai
|ent in the south as in other parts Of
the United States, and it is the deter
mination of the Redpath bureau to dis
cover 1t.
IA few weeks ago a similar gath
ering of musicians and efocutionists
met in Kansas City. Mr.. Newens and
Mr.. Williams met with them. For two
entire days, and up into the evenings
applicants were heard. These men have
each made trips to several other large
cities for day to hear and secure
artists recommended for Redpath COM
panies.
1.-The list of applications and avail.
able talent for this bureau, therefore
now covers nearly the entire United
states. BY HAVING. this large group
from which TO select, it is self-evident
that the standard of lyceum companies
is bound to be raised as the seasons
come and go.
Mr.. Williams Tor years has been
an acknowledged musical authority
Mr.. Newens at ote time having been
president OF the National speech Arts
association. and at the head Of Iowa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
And many homely woman presides
over a happy home,
One thing worse than a quitter is the
chap who is afraid to begin.
Even blind man can go out looking
for trouble and find it, too.
To strike man for loan is one thing.
A successful touch is another.
After fortune has smiled on a man he
can afford to laugh and grow fat,
Besides the people who evade the truth
because they are polite. there are others.
Women are difficult to understand be-
cause they never try to make themselves
plain
No doubt you know quite a lot of men
who have outlved their usefulness-if
they ever had any.
Some people are thankful for what they
get, and lot of others should be thank
full for what they don't get.
Get woman in a reminiscent mood
and she will tell you all about the swell
admirers she had before she met the conn
monplace man who became her husband
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
The EustIs Suit

II do not consider 1t good taste..t to
try cases out of court" said George
Eustis anent the suit brought by Mrs.
j. C. Eustis to recover property.
'As to the action brought against me
I have only this to say: What little
have have good legal and moral title
to and all of my transactions relating
thereto are as clean as hounds tooth
and will bear close Investigation. 1
have nothing in my possession, except
as agent, guardian or trustee. that does
not belong to me absolutely"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
MIR. UNDERWOOD AND HIS WORK

From the New York Herald.
Once more we desire to call attention
to the work being done at Washington by
Oscar w. Underwood, chairman of the
ways and means committee of the House
of Representatives. He is making the
tariff and he realizes that on the success
of his work depend the political life of his
party and the industrial life of the coun-
try
The Herald prints an interview with Mr..
Underwood this morning that will go far
toward reassuring business men. He talks
almost like one of them. His line of
thought has been along business lines. He
is no theorist, no doctrinaire. When he
beyond the fact that some one who has
written book on the tariff tells him 1t is
the right thing to do.
Asked whether he expected the passage
of this tariff bill to cause any disturbance
to business, Mr.. Underwood replied:
II do not anticipate much disturbance;
the country is braced for the change"
Mr.. Underwood discusses with our cor
respondent the scheme for preferential OF
ieSiProcdi tdlil dBfeeiueHtS proNiueu III
his bill, and when asked whether there
had not been too many cuts in duties,
thus restricting the margin on which the
President might be able to treat, he said
that there had been this criticism, but he
replied with great readiness that the COM
mittee was not willing to make the relief
of the American consumer contingent-on
any foreign country.
We will refer to THE remarkably clear
views of Mr.. Underwood again. He seems
safe; he certainly is sane.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
IN HOTEL LOBBIEs
Active Inquiry for Farm Land

"There is a very actise inquiry for
farm lands especially small farms,
within a radius of so miles of Birming=
ham," said b. II. Eborn.
Several years ago truck farming
hereabouts began to attract attention
but within the past IL months many
homeseekers have bought farms and the
inquiry is much greater at the present
time than ever before.
'Homeseekers who have had expert
ence in small farming will find the Rir-
mingham district a particularly invit-
ing field. Soil and climate concur In
making this part of the country ideal
for horticulture or agriculture. And here
is found the market. Birmingham is al
ready fine market and in a few years
this city will be much larger than 1t
Is today"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

new bill are greater than in the bills
sent to Mr.. Taft last year. Railroad
rails were to be taxed 10 per cent
under the original Underwood bill, and
now they are to go on the free list.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18


Thomas Evans of New York is starting
his honeymoon on oath to obey his wife.
His promise to do SO was result of the
CONFUSION of City Magistrate Levy when
he Joined Evans, aged % years, and Mar
garet Cook, aged 19 years, in marriage
late yesterday afternoon As he came to
that part of the ceremony where he should
have asked Evans if he would love and
cherish his wife, the magistrate asked :
"Will you promise to love, honor and
obey?" Evans replied "I will' The mis-
take was afterward pointed out, but
Evans was ready to abide byAthe promise.
agreeing with the magistrate that he
would have to obey anyway. The court
tried to even things up by lecturing the
bride on cooking. Love certainly flies
out of the window If woman cannot
cook" said the magistrate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
ABOUT SKELETON WILLIAMS i.
rom the Baltimore Manufacturers Rec

ABOUT SKELETON WILLIAMS
From the Baltimore Manufacturers Rec
ord
Among the monumental jokes of the age
which must go down into history is the
statement put forth by Senator Robert M.
LaFollette that John Shelton Williams
should not have been appointed assistant
secretary of the treasury because he is
representative of Wall street interests. If
Mr.. LaFolette cannot read his title to
heaven any clearer than he can read the
facts in this case he had better be making
a very rapid move looking to his future
welfare. That any man outside of an in
sane asylum could have charged Shelton
Williams with being the tool OF Wall
street passes comprehension. The thing
that Skelton Williams friends have some-
times tried to keep him from doing has
been his persistent and everlasting fight
against Wall street and its influences. He
organized the Seaboard Air Line with a
view to it's domination by the south, free
from Wall street alliances. At the BAN
quet given in Richmond to celebrate the
opening of the line to Florida he went
unnecessarily out of his way to proclaim
the absolute freedom Of the Seaboard from
Wall street Influences, and his deter
mination that it should be southern road
controlled and dominated by people of the
south. Even N those days some of his
friends feared that his extreme views in
opposition to Wall street and to the con-
troll of the seaboard by Wall street in
fluences would seriously react upon his
own business. Later on. when Williams
lost control of the Seaboard to Wall street
influences. he fought Thomas r. Ryan up
and down the country, back and forth,
with vigor and vengeance that made his
friends feel that he was overriding 1t and
giving more attention to fighting Ryan
than he was to the protection of his own
interests. If LaFollette had taken the
trouble to investigate. he would have
found that Williams is not director Of
the Seaboard Air Line and is not. there
fore. associated as LaFollette claims
with such people as III. Clay Pearce, Nor
man B. Ream, B. F. Yoakum and other
system representatives" A good many
neople in this country would be entirely
willing to be associated with these gentle
men. but, fortunately or unfortunately,
Mr.. williams is notta Seaboard director.
He was once, but is not now. The other
small railroads with which LaFollctts
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
Rig PROFIT ON LErrucE

From the BdloWlH County liHies.
Mrs. J. Arnould. on the Brady road,
from a cent package of seed has sold
$3.50 worth of lettuce. besides supply
ing her table almost daily with the
luscious plant And yet some say that
Baldwin county soil is too poor to raise
anything but a mortgage!.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

The fntransigeant says that divorce
proceedings have been commenced by
Jean Lanes against his wife, who is a
daughter of former President Fallieres.
The couple were married some five years
ago and have one child. The proceedings
were postponed until the expiration of NJ
Fallieres term as President. Nine.
Lanes dowry was 100000 and her hus-
band received well paid job as depart
mental paymaster The Intransgeant
asks if it is customary to return the dow
ry under such circumstances and whether
it involves designation of the husband 5
position.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

From the Outlook.
TWAS deaf, and I hear; was blind,
and l see I was dumb. and / speak,
= The words were the oratorial climax
in one of the most remarkable addresses
that an American or any other audience
has ever been privileged to hear. They
were spoken by Miss Helen Keller in her
first address before a New York city au-
dience, in the Forty-eighth Street thea
tre Sunday night. March 30. Some of the
speakers previous words had not been
easily understood by her hearers, though
their attention was almost painfully alert
to catch every syllable that fell from the
speakers lips; but these words rang out
with a clearness that madeN them UNDER
stood by the remotest listener. There was
an unmistakable note of triumph In them;
and the realization of the years of patient
struggle that their utterance had cost
brought tears to many eyes.
1t was in the answering of questions,
however, at the conclusion of the adj
dresses, that the most dramatic incidents
of the evening occurred. Miss Keller, re-
moving one of her gloves. placed the fin
gers of her right hand on her teachers
face-the little finger on the throat. the
other fingers on the lips, and the thumb on
the side of the nose.
In thus interpreting speech, Mrs. Macy
explained, her pupil had slight advan-
tage over the seeing deaf who interpret
speech by lip reading-which, she said,
rs to a considerable extent guesswork,
for the lip reader cannot get the gutteral
sounds or the nasal tones" as Miss Keller
can by the touch method. THE questions
asked by the audience were repeated by
the teacher, and almost instantly grasped
by her pupil, who answered them, facing
the audience. with quick wit and with an
engaging smile that fairly lit up her face
as humorous fancy passed through her
brain.
One question was, 'Tt is said that you
can play on the harp and even on the
organ. Is this true?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
UNDERwooD's MENTOR

FTOn tfie MODIe 1feSIstcf'
The New York Heralds praise of Mr..
Underwood is deserved. but that paper s
claim of membership to the distinguished
tariff reformer should be set aside. Mr.
Underwood framed practically the same
sort of tariff bin last year as he has just
now framed-and mo serious unsettle-
ment Of business followed. Under the
circumstances the Herald's advice, al
though sound, does not appear to have
been needed,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
SISTER MARGARET.

When Sister Margaret died Wednesday
at st. Vincents hospital a noble life was
ended. Her sweetness of temper endeared
her to all who ever made her acquaint-
ance, either as a visitor to the hospital or
as a patient in one of its wards, where
Sister Margarets cheerfulness and SYM
pathy were never known to fail. Though
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

public speaking department of Iowa
State college. is also one of the best
Judges of elocution. stage presence and
programmes in this country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Hetty Green's income tax will be $4,000
a year and the revenue collector who can
find that much in her pocket will be very
fortunate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

France has a debt of six and one-fourth
billion dollars, the largest on earth. War
and war equipments did it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
ON THE wANE

From the Kansas City Times,
In 1452 the Crescent in Europe indicated
a new moon. In 1913 it represents the
last quarter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Secretary Bryan is adding to his repu-
tation daily and he may conclude to hold
on to the end of the term.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

The progressive papers say the repub-
lican party is going to pieces, and the re-
publican organs says the progressives are
.disintegrating. Let us hope both are
right.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

of frail physique, she was indefatigapi
in good deeds. The world owes to sucl
women debt of gratitude It can neve
nav
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

As a tariff revisement the colonel is
eloquently silent. He never did know
where he is at when revision is before
the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

If every egg is to have date, the hens
will have to learn to read and write and
carry fountain pen. No one else can
be trusted to do the dating.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

The great cure of this world for all ills
is this: Stay in the fresh air, eat plain
food and quit worrying.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Cleve Brown. an actor, who has been
donning the skin of a lion and helping
cause thrills with a sketch founded on
the old Beauty and the Beast tale, had
considerable ambition scratched out OF
him last night at Kansas City Kan.
The actor, in his animal makeup, re-
placed on the stage real lion shown the
spectators. The change is made by a
trick shift in the scenery, made by a help
er at a signal. The helper pulled a lever
too soon and Brown was tumbled to the
stage with the actual king of beasts. The
real lion seized the intruder. Out of the
skin backward to safety went Brown, but
not until he was severely injured by the
animals claws. Brown will not be able
10 resume his role for some time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Hawaii threatens to secede if sugar Is
put on the free list, and Louisiana would
like to go along
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

The name of the democratic party in
China is Kuo Ming Tang. Why or how
this is so is beyond explanation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

England is convinced that Mrs. Pank-
hurst is more dangerous in prison than
out of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

The last years automobiles-where are
they. and what did they bring in the Sec
ond-hand market?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18
THE voIcELEss


BY oliver Wendell Holmes.
We count the broken Tyres that rest
Where the sweet wailing singers
slumber.
But Ger their silent sisters breast.
The wild flowers who will stoop to
number?
A few can touch the magic string,
And noisy Fame too proud to WIN
them
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!
Nav. grieve not for the dead alone
Whose song has told their hearts sad
story ..<Sz 1850
Weep for the voiced iAve known
Ger Sappho's n9< bed billow,
But where the Q ght dews
weep -
on nameless sol pchyard pill
low.
10 hearts that b no sign
Save whitenin aed tresses,
Till Death pour ed for wine
IL Slow dropped S crushing
pressesi
In singing brea hg chord
To every>hidd ere given.
What endless II PRE- poured,
AS sad as ear et as heavenl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Frank Gould is said to be chagrined
over the heartless manner in which the
United States bade him goodby.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-04-18

Hopkinson Smith says the public wants
short stories. They are tired of the sort
that run over nine innings.