davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

came along pretty regularly on that
date, must have gotten considerable
satisfaction out of the fact that the
safe and sane Fourth in Topeka was
of the rainless variety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Nebraska is afflicted with the army
worm. But 1t is not of the same
variety that is working overtime IN
the Uranium of Kaiser Wilhelm.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Belgium is the twentieth nation to
accept the principles of Secretary
Bryan's peace plan and to ask for de-
tails. But nothing has been heard
from the Balkan states on this score.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

DR. Friedman, in departing TO
Europe, said he would not return Blu
DR.. Cook is still here.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member Of the
1eIerraph report of that great news 1r-
SANITATION for the exclusive AFTERNOON
Nubhcs ton in Topeka
The news is received IN The state jour
NAL building over wires for this sole ps1r"
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Among the shocking women WORT
while are those who are helping the1
husbands in the wheat fields OF Ne
hraSka-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Just at this time it may be well to
point out that currency reform ism
going to afford very much rehe1 10
the man with a beer income and
champagne appetite.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Those old fashioned folk who used
to insist that the explosion of crackers
and fireworks on the Fourth of July
was responsible for the rains that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

Sympathy is now due the potato
bug. A Missouri farmer is raising
potatoes without tops.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

One thing is certain. The dove of
peace is not a popular bird in the
Balkan states.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
Fourth of July Hints.

Always hold dynamite crackers in the
hand when exploding them. This will put
you beyond any danger Of being a cele-
orator next year.
If the cannon doesn't go off on time you
can make it do business Immediately by
looking into the muzzle. This never fails.
Always carry a lighted piece of punk in
the pistol pocket of your trousers. This
will save lot of time even though IL
doesn't save the trousers when a country S
freedom is at stake. Your revolutionary
ancestors would never have stopped for
that.
Always point the skyrocket at the house
across the way. 1t may not kill anybody,
but it will scare them to death, SO you
will accomplish the same ultimate result.
Throw your firecrackers in the dry
grass right next to the house. The house
will make a grand illumination il the
night is dark and add much to the glory
of the occasion
Always remember that a skittish horse
is dead in love with patriotism in the form
of ffrecrack and never let one go by In
the street without giving him salute.
If the dynamite cracker doesn't go right
hold it up to the mouth and blow on it,
You will never have anything more to
say upon any subject
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
KANSAS cOlHAENT
OH. YOU NAM,

Man drinks whisky, and that clogs
the valves; he drinks beer, and that
clogs the wheels; he downs lemonade,
ginger ale, buttermilk. ice tea, cof-
fee, and whatnot, and then wonders
why the boilers do not burn. If you
should take an OK and put him
through a like performance, he would
be dead in a month. The simplest
and pla1nest laws of health are OUT
ragged every day by the average man.
Did Adam smoke? Did Eve wear a
corset? Did Solomon chew tobacco?
Did Ruth chew gum? Did the chill
dren of Isreal make for a beer garden
after crossing the Red Sea? Did
Rebecca chew gum drops, chocolate
bonbons, and ice cream and all for
soda water? Adam was the first man
and was made perfect from head to
heel-how long would he remain so
after eating pie before going to bed
suppose he had slept in a bedroom
6x7, with the windows closed down,
the doors shut and two dogs under
the bed? Suppose Eve had been
laced up in a corset, worn tight shoes
with English heels, hobble fig leaves,
and sat up all hours of the night, eat
ing chicken salad and Welsh rarebits
and trying to keep on four pounds of
dead peoples hair.-Wellingto
journal,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
From the HickeyvilIe Clarion.

Every time Elmer Jones falls in love
with a new trimmer who comes here to
work in our millinery store he loses his
appetite 1t has saved him a good deal
in the way of cost-of-living during the
last ten years.
Old man Hicks says any durn fool ought
to know whether it is hot or cold without
goin' to look at a thermometer.
Lem Purdy is eXpectin to go out west
soon and start a newspaper. Well, any
body kin start one, but it takes a genius
to keep her goin.
Anse Frisby claims that If he don't have
any more tire trouble he may get new
suit of clothes this year.
Old Grandpa Perkins, who is getting
along in years and is some deaf. was go
ing into the opry house the other evening
with his ear trumpet under his arm. The
manager of the show stopped him and said: :
THE orchestra entrance is around back
of the STAGE
Lem Purdy always wears specs because
he trades bosses a lot, and 1t is a state s
prison offense for anybody to hit him
when he has got 'em on.
Hank Tumms has got two daughters
who recite and anot--er who is well
known vocalist, and he spends all of his
evenings down at the Golden Nugget.
The prize in the smallest beefsteak for
the money contest must certainly go to
Pewamo man. A Pewamo man bought 20
cents worth of steak and received
nickel in change. On his arrival home he
failed to locate the meat. AT last he found
stray nickel in his pocket Then the
mystery became clear. In an absent
minded sort of way he had put the meat
in his purse and the nickel in his pocket.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
The High Brow Magazine.

The price of it is thirty-five,
That is too much? Why, man alive
You don't appreciate high art
Show in the advertising part.
Nine-tenths of it is of this class,
Just one conglomerated mass
Of auto cars and patent soap
And Photographs and other dope.
OF course. there's readin' to 1t, too,
And when you come to glance 1t through
You'll find an article or so,
Upon the incest way to grow
Alfalfa in the arid west
Or how to save your coin the best.
OF course lot of that Is bluff,
And you don't have to read the stuff.
And it's a dollar to a cent
You wouldn't know just what 1T meant.
But you're rewarded If you wait;
The ads are always simply great.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
HORSE SENSE

HORSE SENSE.
Don't be scared to give the best you
nave to whatever your mind finds to
do. Don't wait for inspirations Draw
ing on the best you have is like draw
ing from spring, it increases the
How. The man who holds back his
finest effort is inclining his mind to
a patch of less efficiency. Make your
every accomplishment an improve
nent on the last-the world calls the
final result genius. No matter how
little appreciated your best efforts
may be, always remember that you are
improving your capacity and ability by
doing your best, and each we'll per
fected effort draws that many more
eyes to you When you get in the
l1:nelight the money will hunt for you.
-Atchison Champion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
PERSONAL.
Answers to CORRESPONDENTS,

Mamie-No, Mamie, humidor is not a
man who writes funny things for the
magazines.
F. E. B.-Your kind letter received. In
reply to same we would say to you that
you should not get discouraged. We think
of you very often and will remit in a short
time. We have a rich uncle who can't
hold out much longer this kind of weather
with the ailment he has got.
Angeline-You ask us how to trim your
hat. That's cinch. If it is anything like
most of them we've seen, you can trim it
very effectively with pair of shears or
sharp pocketknife.
H. G.-You ask US what is the finest
sort of garden we have seen. and we an
swer without any hesitacy that Mary is.
Patricia-To remove awart on the thumb,
lay the thumb carefully on a block of
wood. and, taking a sharp Ratchet, strike
the thumb a brisk blow above the place
where the wart is. The wart will never
return.
Housewife-If company calls suddenly
and there is not enough In the house to
eat, take about fifteen yards of clothes
line, the white variety preferred, cut 1t
into convenient lengths and stew 1t with
tomatoes and cheese, and if the
guests do know it isn't real spaghetti they
will be too polite to mention the fact.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
ON THE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
CouteutI1lent.
BY ROY e. MOULTON.

Coutentdnent.
I love to sit upon my cottage porch
And watch the rich ride by in fine ma
chimes;
love to see the handsome touring cars,
The cute coupes and ponderous nm
cuisines.
I love the odor they all leave for me
To breathe long after they have hur-
ried by;
I love to sit until I SURROGATE
In clouds of dirt and dust they have
made fly.
I love to sit listen to the honks
And shrieks and squawks and sQueais
they hurl at me;
They make night hideous and
Forget my other troubles all, you see-
90 LET them honk and snort and hit the
breeze -
And burst their tire and suffer other ills;
Let them enjoy what peace OF mind tney
may,
I am content, do not get the bills.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07
BY THE WAY
By HARVEY PARSONS.

The N. Y. district attorneys Office
hes discovered tllree-fourths of the
crimes are committed by unmarried
men, the married men leading in but
one cr1me-attempted suicide. Each
married man may white his own
wheeze.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-07

1t is reported that women shocked
wheat in Nebraska, which is the firSt
intimation that Broadway styles have
penetrated so far west.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Mems odd pants, $3.50 values. 9;
cents. Weisman's Bargain Store.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02
The City in Brief
DR.. Billiard. osteopath. IL West Main.
DR.. Graham. osteopath. Masonic
fen, MIA

Big red onions. only % cents a peck.
Reynolds & Sheldon.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Eye. ear, nose and throat specialists.
Drs. French & Cobb. Masonic temple.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Mr.. and Mrs. James Skegg went to
Ames this morning to attend the May
festival given by the students of the
| college. in which their daughter, Miss
Ella Skegg, was Queen Of May" Mrs
Skegg will remain over Sunday with
her daughter Miss Skegg is a member
of the Delta Delta Delta Sorority.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Wanted-Two or three first class
painters. Everist Wall Paper House.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Mems odd pants, $3.50 values,
cents. Weisman's Bargain Store.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Eye. ear. nose and throat specialist;
glasses fitted. DR.. F. p. Lierle.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Mrs. Robert ]. Vogel, 514 Bromley
street. was hostess Thursday after
noon to the ladies Of the State Street
Evangelical Aid Society. A profitable
afternoon was spent sewing for the So
ciety. After a short business session
lunch was served by the hostess.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

We will be showing samples OF
Cameo canned goods Saturday. May 8,
at Benedict & Brintnall's store. Come
| in and taste some really good things.
You'll not be under any obligation to
buy. Letts-F Fletcher Company.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

| Mr.. and Mrs. +. X. Strohm. living
one mile east of LeGrand, are parents
| of a son.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Women's and misses wash dresses
at bargain prices. Weisman's Bargain
Store
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Optician, w. c. Davis. Masonic
Temple.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Miss Marie Miller left for Charlton
and Centerville this morning to visit
for two or three weeks.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Eugene T. Collins, Of ST. Edwards,
Neb., arrived in the city this morning
and will spend several days at the home
of his parents. Mr.. and Mrs. L. G. Col
Inns. Mr.. Collins was called to the city
on account of the illness OF his father.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

"Sophia's Seven Suitors' is the great
est dancing show ever attempted by
an amateur cast Miss May Wizards
Spanish dance, Cliff H. Muchmore and
Pearl Adams in the love waltz and
"The Rag Time Reel" and James Wiley
and Rosie Flower in the one step are
the big features that everyone is talk
ing about today. Odeon tonight.-Ad-
yertiSement
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Overland driving in an auto becomes
a pleasure with one Of Huebinger's
aliases Of Iowa in the car Every auto
road in every county in Iowa shown
on large maps bound in flexible leath
er. Inquire at T.-R office.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Rugs. curtains and linoletlms at bar
gain prices Weisman's Bargain store.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Skegg will be found at 123 East
Main street with new stock of spring
wall paper.-Advertisem
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Movies at the Odean theater Sunday
evening. Three reels Of good photo
plays. Starting at 1880 any seat s
cents any time. Odeon.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Members Of the Congregational aid
society were entertained Thursday at
ternoon, by Mesdames Carl Shaffner,
f. A. Hill, and Candace Trotter at the
Shaffner home, 20s South Fourth ave-
nue.. After the regular business ses-
sion social hour was enjoyed, during
which the hostesses were assisted in
serving lunch by Mrs. NJ. S. McFar-
land and Mrs. Glen Lampman.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

Mrs. Mark w Thomas 7o6 Wood
street. was hostess Thursday afternoon
to the Jolly Club. An enjoyable after
noon was spent with games. music. and
guessing contests. For the latter Mrs.
j. Buchwald and Mrs. w. E. Pauley
received the prizes. The hostess was
assisted in serving Lunch by Mrs.
Odenwalder Mrs. J. B. Lyons, of
Mapleton, was the only out of-town
guest.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1913-05-02

From the home of Mrs. G. T. Whit
man, oO1 South First street, at ESQ
Thursday afternoon funeral services
for Mrs Whitman's brother, Ira Grant
Hileman. of Waterloo. We're conducted
by Rev. Father Fitzpatrick. The pail
bearers were Charles Gossard. Eugene
Spaulding, John Kennedy. Arthur Noon,
w. G. Hayes, and o. D. Taylor. Burial
was in Riverside.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21
JStph Chamberlain ZIP
IAbby"at one Tins Sup
ported hifnI-At6r on. :
dScOrd brooks out betlESn
ZhcM over Tic Irish

been offered a place as croupier in
Monte bank, 50 shall not starve."
1t about this time the tutor dsap-
uearcd forever while LabouChere re-
turned to McXco city and fell in love
with a circus lady. To be with his
inamorata ne followed The troupe and
accepted the job Of dCorkeeper At least,
he told this story to a Mr.. Joseph liatton
with the addition that as the crowds
were not al rich i'm hard cash he was
authorized TO accept in kind-"usuallN
consisting OF oranges or small measures
Of maize. Later. when attdche at
WashngtoD, he stll was in the tolls oil
the circus queen, and as the circus was
al Kltawber he called the attention OF
his chief to an American wine Of that
district, saying that in his opinion a re-
port should he made upon it for the
benefit OF the Foreign Ohicc. He the
chief seemed surprised at my unusual
zeal for 7 never did stroke ~ work.
and SAID, BY all means 60.
~ presented myself to the proprietor
and told him ! wished for an engagement
with his troupe without salary. lie
asked me what my line was, and told
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21

Paris. Dec. 10. 1913.
~ PPOSlTE the bridge or the Island Of
l La cite and facing the statue Of
~ King Henry " Of France. "Lc
Roi du Vert Gallant" stands the majestic
palace of the dukes Of Cont known at
present as the Hotel des Monnaies." or
The Mint The Paris Mint has changed
it's name and abode several times since
the reign OF Charl-magne when the coins
bearing his efigy were stamped In that
monarch's own palace. From the close Of
tie fourteenth century the workshops OF
a. "A MOnnaie" remained during four CEN
turtles in the ncighborhood Of the Louvre.
The Rue de la Monnaie still exists on the
right bank OF the Seine I'm front OF the
Pont Neuf. OF which the first stone was
laid By the "Rearnais" himself. Now the
famous dryGoods stores OF LA Samari-
taine" do a thriving trade on the same
spot. This street was named the Rue dc
Cert" before the year 1887 The old mint
of Parts is believed 20 have been buit
during the reign OF Saint Louis Here all
the royal coinage was issued until Henry
II ADDED further workshops called LA
Monnaie de Nesle" and La Monnate des
Etuves" La Monnaie de Nesle' lasted
only for one year. The dark and grimy
old workshops Of those days gained the
popular title OF lie Md aux Rats ar
The Rats Nest. New machines were
then introduced for The coming Of money.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21
Hef1ty LAbOUchCrS IN RIr
later ycNlySsr'UsAn's SONS

him standing jumps Some obstacles
were placed in the ring, over which !
Jumped with great success, and ms name
ifgurcs on the playhil YOU see hanging
there as the Bounding Buck OF Babylon.
/ wore pink tights with fllet around
my head. M adorable one said J looked
a dear
There is also story OF how the young
man when an ettaChe A. Washington
lived for six months with the Chippewa
Indians. forming a friendship with the
big chief. Hole IN Heaven. He wit
messed buffalo hunt and saw war
dance through a slit made IN his wig
wan. not daring 10 venture out AZ the
tine tecause Hole IN Heaven had told
him hat even among friendly braves a
palefgcc ran the risk of being scaiped
Il Ne attended such a gathering.
There is little space. however to s,r"
more Of such performance. OF which
there were legion TO draw from Likc
everything else he took his Giplomau
career as a joke. Going TO 81. Peters
burg as an attachf in 1890. he fen IN love
with the wife Of one OF the court gentle
men. A rival appeared In the person Of a
tall young Frenchman Jealousy over
came I.abouChcre.
when both Of them wer. standing he
side the lady AZ court function tho
rival. who seemed 10 be winning the rae
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21
WHY THEY ENTER PARLIAMENT.

Some Of them enter Parliament he
said 20 duestloner. because they have
been local Bulls OF Bashan. and consider
that in the localities where they have
roared and paved the ground they viii
be even more important than heretofore;
some because they want O'be peers, baro-
nets and knights some because they have
a FAD to air some because they want 10
have a try at climbing the greasy pole OF
office. some because they have heard that
the House OF Commons is the best club
in London, some because they deiude
Themselves that they are orators. some
for want OF anything better to do; some
because they want 10 make bit out Of
company promoting. and some because
they have vague notion that they are
going to benefit their country log their de-
votion TO legislative business"
After being elected TO serve IN Parlia-
ment for the Borough Of New Windsor.
Iabouchere was unseated on petition on
n charge Of bribery. He had come into
st. Jsmes's Club one evening shortly after
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21

he stuffed his cup and saucer in his
pocket, and then in a sympathetic man
ner called her attention to the stain
upon her dress.
"Who did it," she demanded angrlly.
With a meaning glance at the disappear
ing figure of his rival Ldbouchere put
his finger TO his lips and said: Il know
who did it. but wild horses would not
induce me to tell you The lady had
followed his glance. Thenceforward his
suit prospered.
The trip to America. however, had set
certain ideas at work I'm Labouchere S
mind and sowed the seeds Of his future
radcalism In 1883 he wrote Joseph
Chamberlain whom at one time he ar
IDENTIFY supported and admired: Il was
caught young and sent to America; there
I imbibed the political views of the coun-
Try. so that my radicalism is not joke,
but perfectly earnest
\ few years later, when he began to
have Parliamentary ambitions he gave
his well known views on why men enter
that body.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-21
SIEGE OF PARIS.

The siege and his letters followed. They
were intensely vivid and showed the
ludicrous side OF the situation as only
Labouchere could do. In a letter 10 his
mother I.abouChere wrote:
Il send this by balloon. The smaller
the letter the more chance IL has TO g..
We are all thriving in here, though We
have heard absolutely nothing from ths
outside world for a fortnight. Yesterday
could only get Sleeps trotters and
picked cauliiiower for dinner. We boast
awfully of what we are going to do, but.
as yet all our sorties have been driven
back. and our forts stun our ears b.
firing upon stray rabbits and Chlans. II
ever my letters 10 The Daily News do
not arrive. and come back here, shall
be shot; but | don't think that they will
Later he described his costume and the
difficulty of keeping II in order by say
ing:
MY peajacket is torn and threadbsre.
my trousers are fraycd at the bottom ard
Of many colors-like Joseph's coat. As for
my linen, / will only say that the wash
erwomen have struck work. | believe that
my shirt was once white, but | am not
sure. | invested a few weeks ago In a
pair Of cheap boots. They are my tor
ment. They have split in various places
and | wear "A pair OF gaiters-purple, like
those of a respectable ecclesiastic-to
cover the rents. My upper man resem-
bles that of a dog-steaer, my lower THAI
OF a bishop. My buttons are turning my
hair gray they drop OF as though
| were a moulting fowl l have TO pin
myself together deliberately, and when
ever | want to get anything out OF my
pocket | have cautiously 10 unpin myself.
with the dread Of falling 10 pieces before
my eyes"
Rats and cats became the dishes OF the
day but Labouchere pronounced salml
of rat an excellent article OF food. and
suggested that prisoners be fed with
these nourishng and prolific little ami