Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1913-04-17
WHO'S THE JOKE ON !?
Two Kegs Of the Golden Fluid Con-
doned the 0ffense and the Thought
Pacified Our Council, IA! Ha!

~ ID WVGA 1VS1SC l0dI VIZ lSld1H
from an authoritative source that
our civic life is polluted with cor
ruption. An incident has happened
during the past week in which, our
City Fathers, Leading business men
and Residents were the leading
figures. At this time of the year
everybody is engaged in pleading
hfs own poverty and enthusiastically
supporting the theory that his
neighbor is very rich. One of
our business men had left a loop
hole for our City Council to MATER
tally increase his assessm emit. Wise
ones saw here an excellent oppor-
tunity for good joke so the said
business man was warmed that he
was in danger Of a heavy increase
in his assessment. He showed sign
OF fear and the jokers did every
thing possible to increase it. At
the height of his fear some friend
intimated to him that very likely
couple of kegs of beer might
fix the whole matter satisfactorily.
The board and everyone else
were supposed to have been fixed.
The said business man had
preference for a certain finn to
have the order for the material
SO a we'll known Jeweler carefully
filled out the order and took two
cents out of his own pocket to
pay the potage and the order was
made. Tuesday evening was set
for the Relsha1zer's Feast. The
Jeweler bought the crackers. An
Insurance Agent paid out a bright
SO ct. piece for a raw hamburger.
One of our husky masons in an
t1cipation of q bright gathering
hereafter and in the sweat of his
brow tcok an Inshman's bicycle ane
wheeled one of the kegs to the
Hall of FestiMty. The hIonored
guests having duly arrived Ham
burger and crackers were passed
but the crowd was not really hun
CRY but exceedingly thirsty. jew
leler, Insurance Agent, Hog Buyer,
Banke. IS worked on the keg to- set
in motion the golden strelarm. At
ter a great deal of trouble the
faucet was finally set in, but
then the sparkling maternal failed
to flow but the escaping gas gave
hopes that it soon would yield
and satisfy the increasing thirst
of tn: distinguished gathering.
Wire was used to clear the pas
sags in the faucet and fina ly
amid t loud cheering the famous
fluid began to flow. A cheerful
throng with parched lips and thro t
awaited the filling of glasses. This
done they lifted the nectar to
their lips. Their keen knowledge
and smeller discovered an unfamil-
liar smell and parched throats be-
gan to uta~r 'gasps that sounded
very much like Improper language.
The interior of the keg contained
nothing but colored water and
had in fact not been ordered from
Brewery at all but our Jeweler
had ordered Dry Goods whole
sale firm to ship two kegs and
the business man, knowing that
the wholesale Dry goods firm woul,
ignore such an order, went to the
Hardwa are Store and got, the keg.
Sadly and far wiser the company
parted one by one until only the
Insurance Agent With a Dry lump
in his throat, the Jeweler, sadly
thinking of Those famous gardens
of the land or his ancestors where
there is only the real stuff, and
thnee others and THEN together
they recorked and ratamped the
keg so as to- entertain the balance
of the City Council and leading
citizens who were detained from
participating in the first keg.
Our Billiard Hall keeped and DEM
tist have become committee to
provide the Hamburger and the
crackers.
The second keg was tapped at
o'c ,ock last evening. The thirs't
so noticeable in the first. assembly
was equally as terrific in the sec
ond. Imagine the great disappoint
ment and anguish when they found
themselves the butt end of the
joke. 1t is now known that q
man of the cloth, a great temper
ance worker, had learned of the
agreement to furnish the two kegs
and saw the opportunity to work
an object lesson that will be as
enduring aus the memory of the
participants.