Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-09-18
On the Spur Of.
the Moment
THIS, THAT AND THE OTHER.
BY ROY MoULToN.

THIS. THAT AND THE OTHER.
Lightning occasionally does a kind
act and one which should be appre-
ciated. Last Thursday there was q
severe storm near Hickeyville and
Amiel Tansy who lives out Of town
short way. was sitting in the draw
ing room Of his residence practising
on his slide trombone to the great
discomfort of the neighbors who were
suffering enough already with the
heat The storm came UP suddenly
and a bolt OF lightning struck q. maple
tree in front of Mr.. Tansys house.
bounced off and lodged into the front
door. The bolt fastened through the
house, yanked the slide trombone from
Mr. Tansy's hands and smashed IL
into smithereens. Then the lightning
escaped through the back door. AL
though We are not a great believer IN
signs We would consider this as q. dis
tinct and timely warning to Mr.
Tansy.
Once there was a man who was SO
afraid of thunder that he crawled into
! a hollow log. Then the rain poured
down and the log began to swell and
the poor fellow was wedged IN 50
tight he couldn't get out. All OF his
sins passed before him.. Suddenly he
remem bered that he hadn't paid his
subscription to the local paper and
he felt so small that he was able 10
back right out.
HI Huggins's wife takes in washin'
by the day or week and Hi has saved
up enough soap wrappers to get .
new jointed bamboo fishin' rod.
90
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNEK
| Mr.. Bryan is the man who put tina
talk in Chautalkqua-
When anything happens IN Central
| America they have a REVOLUTION nfsr
and after that they try to find out
what is the matter.
! A scientist says the two-passenger
hamrnick is dangerous. Yes indeed.
\ If a Teller rides in one very often ne
| is liable 10 git married
| When a feIler buys second hand
oatmobile he never gets more'n
quarter of mile ahead OF old Grim
Despair.
When they name the Pullman cars
they take the letters of the alphabet
and shake EN- up in hat and then
pull out one at time until they
git a word that is long enough.
Mrs. Hank Tumms Is enjoying
Vacation this summer. Fruit is SO
high her husband can't afford to buy
any to can.
The modern magazine is a literary
sandwich-ten pages of reading mat
ter between the advertising sections
| A lot of people hate the idle rich,
| but still love to read about them N
the Sunday papers.
90
SIGNS OF THE TIMES.
| We favor blinders for men. horse
wears binders and doesn't have to
look at the slit gowns. Should not the
men of this country be treated as well
as the horses? We ask the ladies. IN
all fairness, If this should not be so7
One of the famous love experts says
| that idle rich men make the best
! lovers. But she will not go so far a.
to say they make the best husbands
! It has been discovered that the
women of Greece wore slit skirts away
| back 3, 500 years ago. Well, look what
! happened to Greece.
DR.. Cook predicts another glacial
period for this world. Let 1t be hoped
that il comes in the summer instead
of in the winter.
It is said that the President fire.
/ quently is not recognized on the
street That's nothing. Presidents
Hurta is not recognized at all
One way TO get the boys to stay On
the farm is to pay them wages. Some
farmers have never thought of this.
German has invented an airship
that will not fall. 1t win not fall
probably because it will not go up