Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1913-06-20


wants is what you're out of. She
wants more of u thing when it's scarce.
She likes to have souvenirs OF things
that never happened. She likes to be
reminded of things she never heard
of. A oneSided view of objects is dis
jointing to the female composition.
"'Tis a misfortune of mine, bcgot-
ten by nature and travel continued
Jeff, looking thoughtfully between
his elevated feet at the grocery stove,
ito look deeper into some subjects
than most people do. I've breathed
gasoline smoke talking to street crowds
in nearly every town in the United
States. I've held 'em Spellbound with
music, oratory. sleight of hand and pre-
yarications, while I've sold 'em jewelry,
medicine, soap, hair tonic and junk of
other nominations. And during my
travels as a matter of recreation and
expiation, I've taken cOgniZance some
of women. 1t takes a man lifetime
to find out about one particular Wom-
an, but if he puts in, say, ten years,
industrious and curious, he can acquire
the general rudimentS of the sex. One
lesson / picked up was when I was
working the west with a line of Brazil
ian diamonds and patent fire kinder
just after my trip from Savannah
down through the cotton belt with
Dalby's anti-explosive lamp oil powder.
'Twas when the Oklahoma country
was in first bloom. Guthrie was rising
in the middle of it like a lump of self
raising dough. 1t was a boom town
of the regular kind-you stood in line
to get a chance to wash your face. If
you ate over ten minutes you had
lodging bill added on. If you slept on
a plank at night they charged it to
Nou as board the next morning.
by nature and doctrines I am adj
dicted to the habit of discovering choice
places wherein to feed. So / looked
around and found a proposition that
exactly cut the mustard. | found
restaurant tent just opened up by an
outfit that had drifted in on the tail of
the broom. They had knocked together
box house, where they lived and did
the cooking and served the meals in a
tent pitched against the side. That
tent was joyful with placards on it cal
culated to redeem the world worn pill
grim from the sinfulness of boarding
houses and pick -me-up hotels. TRY
Mothers Homemade Biscuits What's
the Matter With Our Apple Dumplings
and Hard Sauce" Hot Cakes and Ma
pie Strip Like You Ate When Boy
Our Fried Chicken Never Was Heard
to Crow'-there was literature doomed
to please the digestionS of man. l said
TO myself that mothers wandering boy
should MUNICH there that night. And
so it came to pass. And there is where
4 contracted my case of Name Dugan.
"Old Man Dugan was six feet by one
of Indiana loafer, and he spent his time
sitting on his shoulder blades in a rock
ing chair in the shanty memorializing
the great corn crop failure of $50. Ma
Dugan did the cooking, and Name
waited on the table.
"As soon as I saw Name | knew
there was mistake in the census re-
ports. There wasn't but one girl in
the United States. When you come to
about the size of an angel, and she had
eyes and ways about her. When you
come to the kind of a girl she was
you'll find a belt of 'em reaching from
the Brooklyn bridge west as far as the
courthouse in Council Bluffs Ia. They
earn their own living in stores, restau-
rants, factories and offices. They're
chr oirrIf Ex-n
they're the crowd that's got womans
rights, and if man wants to dispute
it he's in line to get one of them
against his jaw. They're chummy and
honest and free and tender and sassy,
and they look life straight in the eye.
They've met man face to face and dis
covered that he's a poor creature.
They've dropped to it that the reports
in the Seaside Library about his be-
ing Il fairy prince lack confirmation.
Name was that sort She was full
of life and fun and breezy. She pass
ed the repartee with the boarders
quick as wink. You'd have smoth-
cred laughing. / am disinclined to
make excavations into the insides of
a personal affection. | am glued to
the theory that the diversions and dis
crepancies of the indispositiOn known
as love should be as private a senti-
ment as toothbrush. Ills my opin-
Ion that the biographies of the heart
should be confined with the historical
romances of the liver to the advertiS
ing pages of the magazines. SO you'll
excuse the lack of an itemized bill OF
my feelings toward Name.
Pretty soon | got a regular habit
of dropping into the tent to eat at il
regular times when there wasn't sc
many around. Name would sail il
with q smile, in black dress and
white apron, and say: Hello, Jeff
Why don't you come at mealtime:
Want to see how much trouble YOU
can be of course. Friedchickenbecf
steakporkchopsham andeggspotpie,' an(
so on. She called me Jeff, but there
was no significations attached. DeSg