davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Judging from the dignified appear
ance of some of the courthouse officials,
one could almost imagine court was in
session this week instead of next.
Moral, SO Williams Shaving Stick.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Maybe Father wouldn't be somuch of
heather if Mother would keep but
tons on his clothes instead Of knitting
wrist warmers for the Chinese or
others, in some foreign land.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01
Eggs For Matching.

s. G. r. /. r. eggs per set of Is. 75c,
179d Amiel Waltz.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

A young man of this town is much
grieved because a certain young lady's
choice of life companion does rot
meet with the parental blessing. Bet.
ter court the parents first.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

One of our local physicians said to a
man who visited his office: What
your wife needs in change" Great
guns, doc" said he, "she gets all l
have now"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

When a girl gets big enough to run
around she knows her father hasn't any
sense because he doesn't smoke cigaret-
ties and doesn't wear cuffs on his pants.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Every now and then you meet a man
who is sore because he wasn't born a
Donkey" and who spends his whole
life trying TO correct the mistake.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

We have some people here in Audi
bon who have an absurd notion that
unless they are always gabbling they
will be considered dull
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

The Devil must fly away with the
bad people when they die. You can
read every headstone in any graveyard
and you won't find any of them buried
there.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

If a certain young man insists on
sleeping at church. Sunday evenings,
we would advise him to get shinguards
before he repeats the offense.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Eve had snap. She never had tc
put on an apron or comb her hair be
fore the ice man called in the morning.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Once in a while you will meet man
who thinks as much of his family as he
does of his political party.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Girls make pretty good boys--as long
as its only in the story.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

Ignorance may be bliss, but that
doesn't prevent a woman from opening
her husbands mail.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

Girls make pretty good boys--as long
as its only in the story.
The hen has this advantage over a
woman-she knows where the rooster
spends his evenings.
Ignorance may be bliss, but that
doesn't prevent woman from opening
her husbands mail.
Once in while you will meet man
who thinks as much of his family as he
does of his political party.
Eve had a snap. She never had TO
put on an apron or comb her hair be.
fore the ice man called in the morning.
We have some people here in Audi
bon who have an absurd notion that
unless they are always gabbling they
will be considered dull.
If a certain young man insists on
sleeping at church. Sunday evenings,
we would advise him to get shinguards
before he repeats the offense.
Every now and then you meet man
who is sore because he wasn't born a
Donkey" and who spends his whole
life trying to correct the mistake.
/
When girl gets big enough to run
around she knows her father hasn't any
sense because he doesn't smoke cigaret-
ties and doesn't wear cuffs on his pants.
The Devil must fly away with the
bad people when they die. You can
read every headstone in any graveyard
and you won't find any of them buried
there.
One of our local physicians said to a
man who visited his office: What
your wife needs in change" Great
guns, doc" said he, "she gets all
have now"
A young man of this town is much
grieved because certain young lady's
choice of life companion does not
meet with the parental blessing. Bet.
ter court the parents first
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-05-01

The hen has this advantage over a
woman-she knows where the rooster
spends his evenings.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
The Supreme Test.

The National Democratic leadership
has apparently determined to go the
full length in the matter Of tariff revi-
sion downward; it will take its tariff
for revenue only more or less straight.
Some there DOUBTLESS are, who are all
a-shiver with apprehension over the
probable consequences, politically
and commercially, but they are doing
the best they can to keep these emo
tons concealed from the eye of their
fellows. The die has been cast, and
that is all there is to it.
Obviously, the Democratic party has
under Mr.. Wilson concluded to put it's
policies, principles and philosophy to
the supreme or acid test. There is
nothing in what Mr.. Wilson said be-
fore of after the Baltimore convention
indeed nothing in the Baltimore plat
form-that enjoins upon the Democ-
racy the duty of revising any tariff
schedule downward to a point that
would mean even possible disaster for
any legitimate American Industry.
The idea has simply been to bring
about a deep, uniform cut in all inn
portant particulars, and let the future
take care of itself. Already some
manufacturers are saying the new
schedules will mean destruction. In
reply to this cry of alarm, the Demo-
cratic leaders are saying the party and
the country must chance it.
Perhaps the country may be better
off, ultimately for this supreme test,
this idea of avoiding halfway meas
ures. Thus, should this radical reduc-
ton of import duties find justification
in the commercial world of the future,
the fortune of the Democratic party
will be made; if, On the other hand, in
jury is done to any considerable num-
Der of industries, and business is made
TO suffer, then. the now dominant party
will go automatically out of business
at the next quadrennial election
Greensboro News.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
WILSON'S STENOGRAPHER WEEDS.
Confidential Clerk Becomes Bride of
Secret Service Man.

Washington, D. CAWithout the
slightest warning or intimation, Miss
Ida Phillips, confidential clerk in the
governors Office at Trenton, N. j., for
the last ten years, was married this
afternoon to Richard Taylor, for many
years a confidential investigator in the
government service and secret service
guard of President Wilson from cleo
ton UP to the Inauguration.
The marriage is the elimination of
a romance of the days when the new
President was laboring to complete his
task as governor and preparing for
he bigger task of the chief magistracy.
1t was Taylor's duty to guard the per-
sol of the President while he worked
and played. That brought him into
constant contact with Miss Phillips.
Their liking for each other grew, their
friendliness ripened into love and
Taylor proposed about a month ago.
Miss Phillips, although very much
devoted to her work, accepted and set
the marriage for this afternoon.
Last summer, during. the days that
Governor Wilson, Secretary Tumulty
and his staff were swamped with cor
respondence at Sea Girt, Miss Phillips
was in charge of the executive Offices
in Trenton and looked after the vast
amount of correspondence that came
to Trenton. The President entertains
a high regard for Miss Phillips.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
Sundry Civil Bill.

Washington, (Special.)-The Sun
dry Civil Appropriation bill in the
identical form in which it was vetoed
by President Taft in the closing hours
of the last Congress, was considered
in the House and it's reading complet-
ed, but action on it was deferred. The
measure was taken up under a special
rule to expedite it through the House.
1t carries $116, 0O0, 900 for various ex-
penses Of the government during the
next fiscal year.
Mr.. Taft vetoed the bill because of
a provision that no part Of 100000
appropriated for antitrust prosecu-
lions should be used in cases against
organizations of farmers and laborers.
In re-introducing the measure with
this provision included, the appropria-
lions committee is known to be acting
with the approval of President VIII
son.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

Our congratulations to Brother o.
F. Crowson, of the Burlington News,
He failed to land the postmastership
in his town, but fortune knocked at
the door and left the offer of a nice
package in the shape OF a clerkship to
the Senate committee rules at Wash
ington. The Burlington editor had a
friend at court in the person of Sen
ator Overman, who happens to be
chairman of this particular commit
tee.
Secretary of State Bryan is in Cali
fornia for the purpose of dissuading
the legislature of that State from pass
ing anti-alien legislation to which JAP
an makes strenuous objection, Pres
ident Wilson asks that no law be en-
acted which can be construed to be in
contravention of any existing treaty
with any country.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
FARMERS REACH CONCLUSION.
Will Make Known Their Wishes to
President Wilson Soon.

Chicago, (SpeciaD-A committee au-
thorized today at the closing sessions
OF the conference on marketing and
farm credits will go to Washington IN
a few days and present to President
Wilson conclusions of the five hun
dred scientific agriculturists, hnan-
ciers and economists who have met
here for three days.
They will appeal for the establish
ment by the government of a bureau
for thorough study Of markets, crop
and cost of transporting foodstuffs.
They will assert that the >~appropria-
ton of $4,000 for such an organiza-
ton which now is pending, should be
increased to $1,000 900. They will ask
for Federal loans to'farmers.
The chairman, Frank p. Holland, Of
Texas, also will name a committee in
each State to place the matter before
the State governments.
Arrangements were undertaken for
a second National conference to open
in Chicago on April 14th, 1914, and
for an international conference at San
Francisco in 1915.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

It is inconceivable that the man
whom the Democrats elected Presi-
dent of the United States should per-
sist in the appointment of Republi-
cans to important posts. But this is
exactly what President Woodrow Will
son appears to find pleasure in doing.
He has, for a second time, nominated
Chas. p. Neill, a Roosevelt appointee,
to be Labor Commissioner of the I'M
tied States. If there were no Demo-
Gratis capable of discharging the du-
ties of this Office the action Of the
President would be excusable. But no
such conditions obtains and MIR. Pres
ident Wilson's position in the matter is
indefensible. There are hundreds of
capable and deserving Wilson Demo-
Gratis in the country, any one of whom
should have been named to succeed
DR.. Neill. H4s
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
M IN CONCLAVE.
Wealth of Opinion Results in Night
Session and the Discussion of Many
Significant Matters.

Wealth OF Opinion Results in Night
Session and the Discussion of Many
Significant Matters.
Chicago,-(Special) Everybody at
the farm credits conference got enthus
iastic today and some of them became
excited in discussing the high cost of
living, the meagre returns to the far
mer on his products and the best
means of r~eadiusting the economic
problem, at present very much awry,
as among the agriculturists, middle
men and the ultimate consumer.
There was such a wealth of opinion
clamoring for expression that it could
not be crowded into the two sessions
provided by the program, and a session
was held tonight at which the pressure
vas somewhat relieved.
Congress, said that as the necessities
Of people change, the scope of govern
ment must change, and that the matter
OF farm credits was a legitimate con-
Germ of the national government. The
speaker said that with the rush from
the farms to the cities which followed
the Introduction of rapid transit, the
margin between farm production and
general consumption had become dan
gerously narrow. The high prices Of
today are the sinister shadow of COM
ing hunger cast upon the land, he as
serter. There is no system of carry
ing vi the surplus of bountiful years
care for the lean years.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
EDaEsMaDRT0sBHKEPT

aN##
The calamity howIers are not all
dead yet. A few of these despicable
pests are still abroad in the land and
their stock in trade is bowling. They
are not pleased with the prospects of
a successful democratic administra-
ton. Evidence multiplies that President
Wilson and the democratic Congress
are going to give the people the bene-
fit of genuine tariff revision. This
was promised in the Baltimore plat
form and subsequently by President
Wilson himself. The democratic par
ty intended to keep faith with the peo-
pie when it made that pledge. Pres
ident Wilson is a man of his word. The
tariff should and will be revised. The
President and members of the House
of Representatives Are in thorough &C
cord upon this question and there is
no uncertainty about the result, in SO
far as they are concerned. In the
Senate, the controversy will be sharp
and the result may probably be close.
The democrats have a bare majority
there and a few protectionists, who
ought to be in the republican party,
may with the aid of the calamity
howler) endanger the Underwood bill
now pending. But they will hardly
succeed in defeating it. This, from
the S~tatesville Landmark, fits in here
nicely:
"The Charlotte Observer, which
stands for moderate tariff revision,
retaining the principle of protection,
thinks there lis a little toe much pre-
dtction of bad times as the result of
a Democratic tariff" No doubt of it.
The surest way to bring about, or to
help bring about, a depression in bust
ness is to constantly proclaim it. Of
ten depression results from pessimis-
tic prophecies and for no other reason;
whereas optimistic predictions encour-
age and often tide over a dull season
without real hurt. Any change of
consequence in the tariff will unset
tie business, in some lines at least, for
a time. But there is no good reason
for the calamity shrieking in evidence
in some quarters. Some of the Shrek
ers may honestly believe the things
they are saying, but most of them are
shouting for bluff. They want to
brighten the people, and through the
people brighten Congress, into leav-
ing them in the enjoyment of the
special tariff benefits they have so
long enjoyed. The people should not
be alarmed; they should keep it in
mind that most of this calamity howl
ing is for a selfish purpose; and es-
pecially do they want to keep in mind
the fact that no matter how much
money the protected interests may
make through the operations of a
high tariff, the masses are not the
beneficiaries. On the contrary the
people pay the bill. The thing for
the people to do is to sit steady in the
Eoat., 1t will all work out right"
Why certainly. We are not prepar-
ed to believe that Leader Underwood,
Senator Simmons, or President Will
son would approve any Measure which
contemplated injury to legitimate
business anV where.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

With the view to saving time Presi-
dent Wilson makes frequent trips to
his room in the capitol for confer
ences on patronage matters. Hereto
fore. Senators and congressman have
been journeying to the White House
in their attempts to get the ear of the
President. In these latter days His
Excellency appears to be a~pproacha-
BILE at all times. He not only does
not run away from trouble, but act
ually courts it."
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
OUR SYMPATHY BROTHER DAN.
IELS.

This paper sympathizes deeply with
Editor Josephus Daniels, of the Raj
eigh News and Observer, in the COM
plete destruction of his magnificent
plant, by fire, on Thursday evening of
last week. The total loss is estima-
ted to be about STE, 5000 which is only
partially covered by insurance. Nh.
Daniels was the principal owner of
the establishment and the loss neces-
sariIy falls heavily upon him. The
fire completed its work of destruction.
leaving little other than charred walls
to tell the tale. Six linotype ma
chimes, four thousand newspaper cuts.
a ten thousand dollar stereotyping out
fit and much other valuable equipment
were injured beyond repair. The news
paper ~perfecting press representing
an outlay of $4,000 was badly dam
aged by water, but escaped serious
injury from fire.
The story of such a calamity hav-
ing befallen Mr.. Daniels has sadden-
ed the hearts of his numerous friends
throughout the country, especially
here in North Carolina. A permanent
home for his great paper had been
the dream of his life. Years ago he
set himself to the task of providing
a building of modern design and SUBJ
stantial structure. His fondest hopes
were finally realized and the News
and Observer had reached easy street.
The genial and gifted editor, who had
so long and ably served the people of
North Carolina, was called, by Presi-
dent Wilson into the service of his
country and four years of brilliant
achievements in a broader sphere
were in prospect. AT the very NOM
ent the accumulation of years of toll
was going up in smoke Editor Dan
iels was standing before a New York
audience reviewing, in humorous vein,
the hopeful aspect of newspaper life.
An enterprise with a la like that
DGAInu X Will rise 1rOm Inc ASHES anu
go forward conquering and to con
qued. The News and Observer fam
lily must be unavoidably handicapped
for a time, but the papers thousands
of friends in North Carolina and else
where will respond literally to it's
pressing needs in this hour of distress
and hope will soon appear where dis
tress now predominates.
Mr.. Daniels will rebuild Immediate
ly. Coming directly from New York
to the of destruction he began
at once making plans for the cree
ton of another building or remodel
ing the old on the present site. In
the work of reconstruction he will
have the best wishes and cooperation
of a host of friends. Meanwhile the
News. and Observer will appear re-
guIar1y from the splendid equipped
Office of, the Raleigh Evening Times.
the. use of which has been graciously
rendered, by. the clever management.
A neighborly spirit that is, indeed.
beautiful.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

The Landmark says a protest OF
Statesville citizens against the ap-
pointment of Col. A. D. Watts as col
1ector has been directed to President
Wilson. Mr.. Watts heads n Of the
political factions in Idedell and we
presume this protest is just another
incident in the controversy that has
been at fever heat over there for some
years. These factional rows are mean
and contemplate, anyway, and
should be frowned upon by all good
democrats.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
How it Happened.

How 1t Happened.
A fly and a flea
A mosquito and a bug,
All lived together
In a very dirty rug.
The bug spread the ague,
The skeeter spread the chills,
And they all worked together
For u~ndertaker's bills.
Along came a man
And cleaned the rug
screened out the skeeter
And smoked out the bug;
The fly and the flea
He smacked on the wall
And now the people who live there
Are never sick at all.
Adopted, High School Student In
dianapolis.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

Numbers of counties and townships
in the State have recently voted bonds
for road Improvement and the for
Yard march is progressing rapidly.
But strange to say the good county of
Davidson rejected the proposition and
indicates a willingness to remain in
the mud.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

Judge w. B., Council of Hickory is
a progressive" candidate for collec-
tor Of internal revenue for the west-
err. district, having recently filed a
formal application with the depart
ment. Judge Council Is a mighty good
man and would make an acceptable
official for Uncle Sam. But we are
inclined to the opinion that he SHE'D
his hat into the ring a little too late.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
MRS. ". J. BRYAN A SPEAKER.
Addresses Federation Of Women's
Clubs In Capital CITY

Washington; (Speeial.)-Mrs. Will
liam Jennings Bryan was the principal
speaker at meeting of the council of
the General Federation of Womens'
Clubs in session here. She made an
appeal for a closer federation Of all
religious denominations and declared
there was a strong tendency in this
direction. United States Commission
er of Education Claxton discussed the
ritual home and the school.
Reports of officers were presented
at a business session. The delegates
were received at the White House by
the President and Mrs. Wilson.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

Coi@W H: sosbornes president OF
the Keely Institute Greensboro. suc-
ceeds Royal E. Cabal as United States
Commissioner of Internal Revenue.
The position is an attractive one and
Col. Osborne has done well to land
it for himself and his State. We con-
graduate both and the country, be-
sides.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

This paper appreciates the compli-
mentary references to last wees Is
sue that have, come from a number of
its friends. 1t is the purpose of the
management to make the paper worth
while every week and its patrons may
help things along nightly by cor
operating in the collection of news
items.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
Note Of Thanks.
Editor Democrat:

EuILOI
We wish to thank from the depths
OF our hearts all the good friends who
so kindly came to our aid and assist
ance during the illness of our dear
little child, Cromwell. All Christian
people will please pray for us that we
may see and be with him again.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. Grady EdneY.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

!, Secretary and Mrs. William Jen-
,nings Bryan have also smashed a pre-
-cedent. They do not serve wine or
liquor at their social functions. Grape
juice is their limit on liquid refresh
ments and official Washington is
shocked, while the country applauds.
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01

Another Cleaning up day" in Hen
Jacksonville will be Tuesday May 6,
when M. N. Shepherd, A. Flicker, J. A.
Fletcher and W. Al Keith will sweep
their opponents "of the face of the
earth"
Western Carolina Democrat and French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1913-1915, 1913-05-01
Vance County in Line.

today voted to issue 100000 in bonds
for the building of good roads.
The bond issue carried in all pre-
ctncts except one.