New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-24
AS | WAS SAYING

Guilty, When cries Of "oyez! oyez!" interrupted
our labors last evening and deputauon from u'o
LAWYERS burst in armed with torts, venirs. mort
mains habeas thawpuses and nice clean wei AREA
changes of venue we were not surprised. In pre-
pairing our daily feasts Of reason we had shghted the
law Wea cupa,
But We are now repentant and shall make amends
by profering particularly appetzing slice OF law
hot from the iron
Upon information and belief that at about 9:lo
r. M on July O. 1918 the plaintiff was served al his
request with a cup Of coffee and beef stew Wh'ch
was properly prepared cooked and served, and which
at the time Of serving did not contain any mouse or
part thereof: and that after plaintiff had eaten a
considerable portion Of stew. then plaintiff himself
placed the complained Of in the said stew
Nav II please the court. shall say nothing to
ioggc the scales Of justice, though We permit our
self an obtor dctum.
S'hcIp US we depose and swear that the herein be-
fore mentioned mouse whether put placed. SNUG
glcd or otherwise invcigled into the said stew hy
the said restauratcur or his agent agents or my
part thereof or put. placed lodged. shared bred
in the said stew by the sail plaintiff or his heirs and
assigns forever dead alive for better for worse.
ct rankaboo. world without end, untriendly
act regrettabe inharmonious and subversive OF all
right thinking. God the Commonwealth Of
massachusetts
Il certainly do not" exclaimed sweet Evelyn. when
asked II she reciprocated her husbands undyng nf-
lection. u love him just much he loves me.
He loves mo like a priest loves the Devil"
We consider this sentiment sacred for frivolous
comment. but could wish the grammar bit more
conventional. Guess 1t is not only among the col
lege bred that Brother Box will meet with bewitched
English. though we must not be severe. What Eve
Ign lacks in grammar Earry makes up in spelling.
warming cries NJ A. Van Allen in The WON
EMS Home Companion" do not put the cart before
the horse the baby carriage before the automo-
bile" Excellent, II taken literally II taken hgura
lively. what needless advice, Up automobilists Re
sent this insult.
Another bottle closed. Scarcely have we noted
the awful effects Of grape juice. when dreadful
things out about lime juice Already this
baeful beverage has disrupted the Clionan Literary
Society. at Milestone Queens. which got along
finely until brought bottle OF lime Juice
to a meeting
Since then about half the members have paid no
attention to the subject. The climax last
week. when lime juice drinker lay his back and
laughed right in the middle OF serious speech"
Scandalous, Uness-but we Danish that unholy
thought.
Yes. brethren. right in the middle OF the Gettys-
burg reel while Blue and Gray were embracing be-
meath flag Of truce and the orchestra played
Home. Sweet Home" and women wept. voice in
terrupted with "IIaw! haw, haw The chicken wire
that rose is growing in the background wasn't
invented til thirty years after the war"
This explains why chicken fancers never get rich.
The fellow should have held his tongue and secured
pensions for the entire roost
II is different with teachers though much the
same. We had often wondered why teachers failed
to fortunes but all is clear. Fault OF
the teachers. The bulletin Of the National Edu-
cation Association attributes their Indulgence to
Jealousy competition, undermining, envy and trick
cry"
This is indeed cumbersome, but We have the rem
edy. Attention. teachers all. Now that you know
your faults. how easily you overcome them and
get rich. Look at the politicians r. l.. II.