Judith Gap journal. [volume] (Judith Gap, Mont.) 1908-19??, 1913-08-01
THE BEAR
THAT JOKED
By N. QUAD
BY N. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. b. Associated Lit
e:,ry l'ress.


'Twixt the one and t'other I'm driv-
en- to eat coon and possum meat most
Of the time. Dawg-gone bars and
da wy gone dnrkies!"
The Arkansas squatter. having deliv-
cred himself Of the above, filled his
corncob anew. drew several long pufrs
and continued:
Everybody knows what a taste the
darky has fur bacon. but you will meet
up with mighty few people who know
that bar will face most any odds to
git hold Of frcss, pork.
aside from the pork question. the
bar is also smart in hevin' sense Of
humor. never heard one 60 haw.
haw. haw. but I've zen 'ern wearin'
grin and feelin' tickled.
1T was one night about FIVE years
ago that bar come along ut night
and took my pig out of the pen. was
lynn sick ut the time and couldn't git
out to shoot him. but reckOncd he'd
hang around till got show to git
even.
1T was q month befo' I was out,
and then spring had come. and fur
was no good. All I could do was to
play a joke on that varmint and make
him feel bad. I got some bnrbed wire
and strung It across the pen. and when
oil was ready l killed woOdchuck
and dragged him around the pen ana
throwed his carcass in. The old wo-
man seen what was goin' on and said:
":Jim. are yo' gwine to tangle that
bar up in that barbed wire?'
"'That's what it's fur said I.
"'What 20 got ag'in him?'
"'He carried OF our hawg.'
"'That was bekase 20 was too lazy
to roof the pen in. wouldn't do any
foolin' with that bar. He cum loafin'
round yere the other day when 20
was away. and he looked mighty Sc
rious and solemn. He amt no critter
to joke with
"'But he'll hev to stand It Jest the
same. II he gifts among them wires
he'll feel tickled to DEATH
"'Waal.' said she, 'yo' 60 ahead. but
I'm tellin' yo' that If 70 joke with that
bar he'll cum out ahead. Thars bars
and bars. Some goes in fur fun. and
some don't
THAT night about 'leven o'clock that
bar cum spookin' round. was awake
and heard him snifiin'. but kept quiet
till he climbed up the logs Of the pen
and dropped down inside. He knowed
woodchuck from hawg. of co'se, but
woodchuck was good 'nufr for him Jest
then IL he saw them barbed wires he
took 'em fur strings. Leastwise he
leaped right down. and next mint he
was maxim fuss nun fur three dog
fights. They heard him howlin' way
over to Jim Tanners place. Lawd.
sab, but it made my ha'r stand up to
hear him take on! But got on my
clothes and went out to rub it into him
a little. LOokin' down into the pen, l
called him a hawg thief and Tots Of
other names. and every time he roared
laughed in his face. jest poked fun
at that critter till l was tired. How
the varmint got free and got out of
the pen l dunno. but he was gone in
the mawnin'. Thar was blood and fur
all over the pen. and thar was fur scat
tered all round the yard. and l reck-
on he'd had a bad time Of it. That was
! the last seen Of that bar fur long
! time-tn fact. so many weeks had gone
| by I'd clean forgotten him when cum
home on day and the old woman said
to me:
".Jim, camp meetin' begins tomorrer
Mt Coon Greek. and We'll tote ourselves
over thar
TOO much shoutin',' said l.
! Il N<>s oh k3voS hit
git ready
II didn't keer to 20, but l didn't
| want to fuss and so the next mawnin'
| we toted along. We reckoned to stay
To- days. but on the second day the old
woman said to me:
"'Jim. yo' member that bar yo'
joked With
~ reckon
"'Ever seen him sence?'
"'Noap'
"'Waal. I've had vision. was
putin the beans over to cook while
listened to the preachin' when that
bar seemed to rise right up befo' me.
and he was GRIMM
"'What abOut?'
"T couldn't say. but he was feelin'
powerful good natured over sunthin'.
Don't yo' reckon we'd better go homer
"'What fur
"'To see II that varmint hain't bin
lp to sunthin'. He may hev got the
cabin doah open.'
II laughed ut her fur spell, but
she got SD anxious that we finally s0t
out fur home. We was still half q
mile away when a cloud of feathers
came flynn through the air. and we
both groaned. When we got little
nearer we saw the front door open
and later on we looked in upon SIGH a
scene us no cyclone ever left behind
That blamed bar had bin in the cabin
fur day or two. and he had jist claw
| oil anl Scra fchod md hit md dosteoy