The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-07-02
LEAF ELEVENTH
. Heart of Gold.

NAN a in this world 1t IS emoaFTaSs- S@@%SsV S me1t I never felt anything SE worse in all my life than the shzme that swept over me in a great hot wave when that look came into his eyes and made me realize just exactly what had been saying to him, about what and how had said it. l stood perfectly still. shook all over like a leaf and wondered if would ever be able dB raise my eyes from the ground. diary. nauseated feeling for myself rose up in me against myself, and I was just about to turn on my heels and leave him, hoped forever, when he came over and laid his hand on my shoulder.
 Molly" he said in a voice that might have come down from heaven on dove wings you can't for moment feel or think that don't realize and appre- cfateSwhat you have been to the moth erless. little chap, and for life am yourstat command. as he is. really thought it would be a relief to you to have hfm taken away from you for just a little while right now, and I still think it is best,sbut not unless you con sent You shah have him back when ever you are ready for him, and at all dimes both he-and I are at your service to the whole Of our Kingdoms. Just
 
 6ecide what you want me to dO?''
 Something in me died forever, I think, when he spoke to me like that. He's not like other men, and there aren't any othermen on earth but himl All the rest are just bugs or bats or something worse. And Pm not any thing myself. There's no excuse for my living. and I wish I wasn't so healthy and likely to go on doing it. It was all over. and there was nothing seft for me to live for, and before I could stop .myseIf buried my face in my hands
 'sBiIly asked me to go with him on this awful whale huntI'' I sobbed out to comfort myself with the thought that somebody did care for me, regard less of just how I was further embar- raising and .compdcating myself in the affairs of the two men had thought owned and was now finding out that had to give up I wish had been looking at him, for felt him start, but he said in his big friendly voice that is so much-and never enough for me
 -wen, why not you and Al come along and make it 8 family party, if that is what suits Bill, the boss?''
 If men would just buy good, sharp kitchen knives and cut out women's hearts in businesslike way it would be so muchs kinder of them. Why do they prefer to use dull weapons that mash the nfe.out slowly? Everything is at an erdsfor me tonight, and that blow did it. It was a horrible cruel thing for him to say to mel know now that I have been in love with John Moore for longer than my honor lets me admit and that I'll, never love any body else. and that alsOsEs shave offered myself to him served up in every known entfcement and have to be re fused at least twice day for a year. A widow can't say she didn't under stand what she was doing. even to her. self. but-my humiliation is complete and the only thing that can make me ever hold up my head is to puzzle him by-by happily marrying Alfred Ben nett-and quick
 Of course he must suspect how I feel about him, for two people couldn't both be so ignorant as not to see such an enormous thing as my love for him is, a0d was the blind one. But he must never, never know that ever realized it. for he is so good that it would dis tress him I must go on in my foolish way with him until can get away. I'll tell him Pm sorry was so indig- nant tonight and say that I think ii Will be fine for him to take my Billy away from me with him. must smile at the idea of having my very soul am putated, insist that it is the only thing to do and pack up the little soul in 8 steamer trunk. with the smile. Just smile, that is all Life demands smiles from woman, even if she must crush thear perfume from her own heart and she generally has them ready.
 Oh, Molly, MollyI Is it for this you came into the worldwide to give yourself without love? What differ ence does it make that your arms ars strong and white if they can't clasE him to the softness and fragrance o1 your breast? Why are your eyes blue pools of love if they are not for his questioning, and what are your rose lips for if they quench not his thirst?
 Yes. I know God is very tender witt a woman, and I think he understands so if she crept very close to him and caught at his sleeve to steady herself he would be kind to her until she could go on along her own steep way Please God, never let him find out fol it would hurt him to have hurt mel
 Some days are like the miracle flow CTS that open in the garden from planti yor didn't expect to bloom at all. might have been born. lived and diet without having this one come into my fife. and. now that I have had 1t, don't know how Do write it except il the crimson of blood, the blue of flame the gold of glory. and dnge of ligh green would well express the part have played But it is all over at las md
 Ruth Chester was the unfolding o The nrat hour petal, and l got gIimps.