New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-27
BY SEWELL FORD

w III. what are You DONG tiCftt SAYS lt
Waiting orders, says l. Any errands, Mr. Elns:'
~Euands:" says he. Then. after thinkin' d second,
he rdps out Yes DO YOU that collection o.. bot
ties and pills and glasses on the table; Enough 20
stock q Young drugstore. And I've been pouring that
truck my system by wholesale-thc pink tablets
the half-hour, the white ones on the Quarter
spoonful OF that purple liquid the even hour, $50 Of
the grceniSh mixtures the odd, and getting worse
every day. Bah. haven't the courage TO do Il myself
but by the blue-beted blazes ii See here Boy.
You re waiting orders. you say:
"Uh-huh. says |.
Then open that window and throw the whole lot
into the arcaway says he.
DO you mean it. Mr.. Ellins," saysI
do yah. don't speak plain Engish?" he srows
Cant you understand a simple
Il got you" breaks in. Out it goes" ! don't
drop any Of it gentle, either. | slams bottl,~ and
glasses down the aggin' and chucks the pills into
The next yard | makes a clean sweep.
Thanks Torchy' says he. The doctor will be
here soon. III tell him YOU did it."
"Go as far as You like says |. Anything else SIR
"Ycs." says he. Provide me with a tenn ory
occupation.
Come again, says |.
81 want something to DO" says he. "Here ", bcen
shut up in this confounded house for four mortal days
can't read can't eat can't sleep. just prowl around
like "a bear with a ear | want something thu, Will
make me forget what a wretchcd futile old fool am.
Do You know Of anything that will I'LL the bill;
NO, Sir, says l.
Then think, says he Gone. where is that quick
hrlng, automatic intellect OF yours Think, Boy
What would you do il you shut up like this,
why says |, Il might dig up some kind OF
games guess"
Games" says he That's worth considering. Wen
here's some money Go get EN-
But what kind. Sir says l.
How the slithering SSyphuS should know what
knd?' he snaps Whose idea is this, anyway? You
suggested games. Go get EN-. tell you! I'll give YOU
half an hour, while I'm looking this stuff from the
office. Just hall an hour. Get OUT
IT'S perfectly cute proposition, amt it? Games ior
a heavy-podded old sinner like him, who's about rs
frivolous IN his habits OF them lions in front
Of the new city libry But here was on my way with
a yellow backed twenty in one hand; its up 70 me
20 produce. | pixies straight down the avenue 20
ont where they've got three floors filled with no,hn
but juvenile JOY Junk, blows in there on the Jump.
nails clerk that looks like he had more less beam
waves the twenty at him. and remarks casual:
Gimme the worth OF that in things that Il amuse
hftyeight year-old kid who's sick abed and walkin
around the house"
DID say clerk? take it back. He was a salesman
that young gent was. Never raised an eyebrow, but
proceeded to haul out samples, pass EN- up 70 fol
inspection and pile in a heap what | gives him the
nod on. II established record for reckless buyin, he
never mentions it, Inside OF twenty minutes I'm on
my way back followed by porter with both full
The doctor has come, says Marston. He's in with
Mr. Ellins now Sir"
"Oh, IS he?' says |. makes it very nice, don't t?'
AMI. bein as how was Old Hickory's abb, as you
might say, pixies right to the front.
Here he is now says Mr. Ellins.
And the Doc, who's a chesty short-legged gent with
dome half under glass.-you know, sort of skinned
diamond with turf outfeld effect,-hc whirls on me
accusn'. Young man., says he, do understand
that YOU had the impudence to-"
We'll, Well breaks in Old Hickory, gettin a glimpse
Of what the porters unloadin' what have We here'
Look, tIirshway,-Torchy's drug substituted
En- SAYS the Doc, starn puzzled.
Games saws Mr. Films startin' To nav over the