davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
81 S@|yn.UA1OOOV

tion, meals. wine, worry, wakefulness
when the poor old rich man would
nave rather been home In dressing
gown and slippers, to say nothing of
his good soft bed for his weary old
bones
You grow more Of a chuckiehead
every day Of your life.' snapped the
angelic Clara.
She was mistaken In this. Every day
Of his life old man Smith could sell
stock to a promoter. skin a loan shark
or otherwise prove his acumen as a
representative business man of sterling
| integrity.
But at night. especially late at night.
the was only a poor old dodo. For after
all, even our representative business
men and leading citizens, who are in
the forefront for civic betterment are
upon occasion. as helpless and human
as the rest Of the world. .
I'm all right, my dear" mumbled
the old man. Hey! Look at that
sign!" he added. as they passed by a
billboard on the avenue where the giar-
ing advertisement Of an undertaken
was plain to be read. even by his
bleary eyer. under the electric light.
Did you see that? Says 1t guaran-
tees every working man a strictly union
funeral for s6o.' To my mind. whether
one gets a union or an openshop funeral,
it is the original I-should-worryr prop
ossioni" mann -.
for either kind- SHOULD worry"
snapped Mrs Clara Mudridge-Smith,u un-
graciously You sit there chuckling
and cackling, and give me rambling
Il give you everything You want.
don't T." asked the old man.
You don't give me your attention."
retorted the bride. trying to think Of
something she did need; that she might
strike for now while the old man was
Yes. yes!' cried the old husband.
You were saying Mrs. .Stryver had a
bug in her ear or a hen in her hair or
something Of that sort I'm listenIng"
II wasn't talking about bugs or hens,
and you know it, said Mrs. Mudridge-
Smith sharply. III you paid attention
TO what I was saying and hadn't your
mind focused on new schemes for skin
ming people within the law you'd have
heard what | said.
oh YES, wealthy people can reproach
each other just as insultingly as poor
people, and more extensively. too.
They have a wider range of etymology
What were you saying. my dear?
man.
Fighting the business world down.
town left him I'm no physical or mental
condition to fight his wife uptown.
ct was going to tell you that Mrs.
Stryyer told me in the lobby. when we
were waiting for our coupe. that the
Jarrs have come into lot of money"
Money!" cried the old man, now
thoroughly alert and wideawake
Yes, money" replied the young wife.
It's all very sudden, Mrs. Stryver
says
"Hum," cried her husband. That's
why he was so independent. Well, IL
Jarr really has any money there Is only
one thing to do. We must take him
into the firm, Yes, yes, We must take
him into the firm"
:'It is not known for sure but Mrs.
stryvcr thinks a rich uncle, Mrs Jarr's
Uncle Henry. died and left them all bis
money. Mrs. Stryver says it's not
thought Mr.. Jarr's position in your firm
offered any opportunity for him 10 get
rich quickly.
II guess not chuckied the old man.
They don't take In our firm. Our firm
takes THEM in.
II wonder IL he's got enough money TO
be Q special partner"
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
PERSECUTION OF COLONEL NELSON.

At time when the American people seem to have
made up their minds to bring about important changes
in the system of administering justice, it is unfortu
nate that any judge should commit act which tends
10 nfiame public opinion. The attempt by Judge
Guthrie of the Circuit Court of Kansas City, to rail-
road Col William R. Nelson, publisher of the Kansas
City Star, to Jail for contempt of court is very likely
10 have this effect.
The Star did nothing worse than publish, without
comment news account of divorce suit in which
Judge Guthrie allowed claim for attorneys fees
which must be paid before the suit was dismissed.
Appended to this was an account of proceeding in
another court in which judge had ordered the pay
nent of attorneys fee before alimony, which ac-
count, owing to ambiguity, might be taken to apply
20 Judge Guthrie.
The whole course of Judge Guthrie indicated a
desire to humiliate Colonel Nelson. He had pre-
cared IN advance his orde: of commitment to Jail
for day for contempt of court and sought have
ihe accused rushed there without the benefit of habeas
corpus The principle of the judicial system is
pIete impartiay, and Judge Guthrie has shaken pub
lie confidence in this most necessary prop of respect
FOR the courts. Fortunately higher court with
vision has stepped in and stopped, for the time at
least the summary procedure.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
Conquests of Constance


to beat IT before the grand march. but
/ couldn't make a getaway.
An then one Nv his cronies come
up an said:
Where did yuh lasso the yeariiEg@
Meanin' me, NV course An the
how NV equine explanation he unhitch-
ed wux nothin' to nobody All 1 could
hear wuz slim hoofed hlly.' .needin'
check rein.' light on feed, an 'un-
easy at the starting post
An all the time me standin' there
with my pony coat on Wei, say,
when I got that rummy outside,
showed him IL I wuz uneasy at the
startin' post had a reg-iar st. Vi
tus dance at the finish: not to say
nothin' bout bringin' home the money
on nervous iangwidse! Yes. he wus
embalmed!"
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

l<<Y YOW In II you amt down al
Il" Palm Beach?' Constance IN
L , quired, with a wicked twin
kle Of the eye.
E; Meaning me?' I returned the ques-
ton haushtily. why, / don't 60 to
] Palm Beach any more because it's be-
coming quite too common-the haunt Of
the parsenu. don't you know"
'Ikey. hang on to that pipe! Dreams
| like that don't grow In all Nv 'eml" she
| jeered. Say, amt 1t just 'nough to IN
cite a massacre the way US poor gumps
| Is got to stay in one burg all the weeks
In the year, 'cept ito? And here these
swells amt no sooner found out where
the nearest drug store Is IN place fore
the maid has to dump all their rags
back In the trunk again an they're on
to another neighborhood?
Some day. you bet, I'm goin' to be q
sassy little Socialist. an go TO all the
meetings at Carnegie Hall an every
thing. I'm Just tired Nv workin'. That's
what's the matter with me. i want to
ree-cline on a couch Nv violets. with a
rus Nv lilies NV the valley thrown over
nv gold-sandaled feet an eat pearls
souffle with diamond sauce!'
Has the weather gone to your head?'
I asked sharply.
cav. what's the use? wuz tryin' to
be EIinor Glyn'y an you go an spoil
all the poetry. There amt no weather
when things Is tike that! But. any
way, speakin' NV weather. do yuh know
I'm worried stiff bout ice? II there's
one thing I gotta have in summer it's
ice-fd die without plenty Nv ice. an
tell ma she en- economize on everything
'cept ice. An you bet she gets ten
cent piece every day! But IL the blamed
water don't freeze at all. en- you see
what a ten-cent piece is goin' to look
like next summer?
"oh, it'll freeze observed consol-
ingly.
well, IL 1t don't. / see where I send
myself to cold storage and leave my
furs at home. Ny pony coat Is be-
ginnin' to look dee-crepit anyway. oh.
say. speakin' NV ponies reminds me NV
another punched transfer. He wuz a
horse trainer. l met him at ball and
the thing that got my eye wuz the way
he wuz togged Gosh. That man wuz
certainly one nervous dresser. Yuh
could just hear his vest callin' his shirt
a liar all the time. And arc lightsl
Say, he had a knob NV radium every
place there wuz room to wear one.
AT first when I met him he wuz
ouiet-real bashful I might say. An
thought it wuz funny that man with
take-me-homes what listened like that.
didn't match 'em better. Well, I went
to a couple Nv shows with him. an to
dinner. The one thing that annoyed me
wuz that he ct with his knife. but
knew I'd kill that. when 1 knew him
better.
Then the horse show come to town.
An thought I'd be the real cheese,
soin' there with some one that wuz
SOMEBODY. Well, IL you please. We
had to 90 in the same door as the
horses An II yuh could "a seen the
mixed line NV buns what spoke to him
real friendly, just like they used To
take a bite out Nv his lurchcs at
school, wuz that mortified I wanted
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

w marked Mrs. Clara Mud
ridRe-Smith, half aloud and
dalf TO herself.
'Eh, what? Who? How" asked her
elderly spouse querulously. as he
reused himself from the doddering
dreams of dotage, as they rode home
ward in their electric coupe.
why. didn't you notice Mrs. Stryv-
er at the opera?" asked the young
bride. "She was in tine box with that
freak Of a woman in the Nile green
ckarmeuse'
What was she doing in that. hey?
Did she go auietly?"
What are YOU talking about?''
cried the young matron, giving her
husband a poke in his poor old side
with her sxpressively sharp elbow.
I'm talking OF the dress the woman
wore who was with Mrs. Stryver with
the henna hair"
What was she doing with hon in
her hair. hey? What, what, WHAT?''
asked the old man, half wandering
and half asleep.
He paid the penalty of wealth and
also Of marrying out OF his age zone.
His young wife dragged him from thea
ter to restaurant, and from ball TO
cabaret, till life was one delirium Of
furs. flowers. and frippery; music, mo-
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
An Economical View.

Minlts-H@llo thought you'd q Dakota
Winks--ChanGed my mind.
Ninks-But you you wanted to get a divorce nc
cause your made things you Won couldn't
live with her
Winks-Ive concluded TO keep her until that tarnal
coal combine busts.-New York Weekly.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
kmusements,

National-May Irwin in Widow by
Proxy" s:l5 p. m.
Belasco-Gertrude Hoffman. in Broad
way to Paris" s:l5 and Sis p. m.
columbia-Julian Eltinge. In "The Fas-
cinating Widow" s:l5 D. m.
Chase's-Polite vaudeville. Els and Sis
d. m.
Poirs-Poli Players. In THE Man From
Home" S:l5 p. m.
Academy-"One Day." els and Sis D. m
Casino-yaudeville.
C,osmos-yaudeville.
sere," 2:l5 and s:f5 d. m.
Gayety-Rose S;delrs London Bellies"
2:15 and $40 p. m
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

sentiment demanded this change in 1894, but not until
fifteen years later was Congress able to agree on
submitting it. The patience of the people in waiting
long for the settlement of this question is good
evidence of their faith in the ultimate success, by
orderly procedure, OF their programs
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Critic" toe. has some thoughts on
the subject, viz: Getting up in the
morning and putting on a bunch Of
rags. only TO take them all OFF again
at night" Maybe something can be
done about ii. Anybody got a Zulu
Island schedule?
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
F. O. B.

When members sit still
Through a Congressman's speech,
It's then-not until
That I'll read about Beach.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
HAIR CUTTING AND POOL
SC A CUE

Universally note: "The chances are
SAYS the Chicago Tribune" referring
to the initiation of Gov. Dunno. of ILL.,
nois, that the snow will put the in.
augural parade out of commission and
confne the ceremonies to the indoor
functions"
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
NO" says the shoepreme Court.

I.
Upholding. of course. the federal court
OF Massachusetts.
Admitting for the nth time our nesci-
ensc Of legal fine points, our grasp of
the situation is sufficient. however. to
warrant the prediction that prices OF
footwear will not dart downward in the
Immediately contiguous future
THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW.
IHeadline in the POST
Citizens Favor Old Water Rates.
Up in the Senate chamber new soIons
are Gonning their togas nearly every
day.
The Turks are about to scute from
you know where.
Add clever bromidioms: "Is the water
wet?"
Enter the man who went to the au-
tomobile show and can't forget II.
And the little old last years car?
!. It's just perfectly out of II.
A happy Lent!
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
Verlorene Willenskraft.

G. s. H.: Ny Installation of energy
gone to seed is embraced in the ATTEMPT
tC memorize the gender Of all the Ger
man nouns.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
FAMOUS JACKS.
- Dalton.
MT

After two-hour conference In this
office the decision has been reached
to plastercast bold thiefs' the con-
sepsus of opinion-there's another one
being that the average thief isn't likely
20 be meek and humble.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

And how about the minority report
that the Republicans will submit On the
tariff question?
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

sign-according to ]. II. L., although
We doubt it-in a Chinese barber .hop
and pool parlor in San Francisco:
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
No 0HenSe.

She-Pardcn me. walking on your feet.
He--Ch. don't mention II. walk them myself YOU
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Every one. naturally. is entitled to
boost his own calling. The coroner of
Cincinnati. for example, says that
seven hours sleep is enough for any
man
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
THIS& THAT
TpLih Sometimes a L,ffie orthe Olhey

A month hence. and We shall be PEN
ming pedantlc paragraph proudly pro-
claiming the persistent precision of
our predictive powers. Perhaps. Our
guess, don't forget. is blizzardy during
the morning, gradually moderating. and
winding up with a good old rain at
in the afternoon. As for the fireworks,
either they will be postponed until the
eth or else It Will be found that most
of the set pieces are dislocated and
must be reset. Stick a spike through
this. We are at work now on our
cackle of triumph for March 5, and it's
4 dandy. too.
WHY THAT LOCK DIDN'T OPEN.
1t worked in the light of the morning,
But not in the midnighty gloam:
Accordingly, sire. 1 would like to
inquire:
WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE
YOU WENT HOME?
Hollow Horn Bear is coming to town,
and, Furthermore. he Is the original
of the picture of an Indian engraved
on So certificate. The wheeze therein
is SO obvious that we are ashamed to
pull it out; but it's fact that Mr.. II.
ii. Bear could stroll into this office
and not be recognized by one person
in a dozen.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

CONGRESSIONAL s O'CLOCK TEA
From the Times
That IL will be necessary to clear I'M tho
Prt tsIdential Onc-term amendment proposed IN
the Constitution before II passes the House
in order to make IL plain whether the effec;
Of II would DE to extend the term of Presj
dent Wil9on TO six years. is now generally
lawyers IN cOnsreh are busy pouring over
the question.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
Not at Work.

What an exceedingly strenuous player ne is!"
"oh. yes. Bob's deuceG hard worker when hes not
wcrking"-PuGk.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Mrs. Mary Harris Armor. wbo ia.
eiares that she has seen only Is couples
who really love each other.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
AUTO SHoMIDIoMS.
by SAhBO.
cked out your car YETI"

Picked out your car yet?"
Better show outside than in here. r
Yes, sir. this car has all the ncw
equipment No. the self-starters
are 2j extra. Well. you c,n
have the electric equipment put on for
Ettie more. spsedometer?
On yes; you can get a very good one
for SIS. Good night, SIR"
You never can tell. The grand Jury
yesterday indicted William Shorts 10,
embezzlement and held Henry Honesty
On a grand larceny charge.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

ANTI-SUFFRACE ARGUMENTS
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW.
CHeadline in the "Post'D
Citizens Favor Old Water Rates.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Up in the Senate chamber new soloni
are Gonning their togas nearly every
day.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Upholding. of course. the federal cour
OF Massachusetts.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

GEO. TowNE.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
,'I|lg@
Mr.. JARR is IN DANGER
OF BEING A LUCKY MAN.

((VU HAT L want to know is
M where they got it?" re-
" marked Mrs. Clara Mud
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

Enter the man who went to the au-
tomobile show and can't forget II.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04

The Turks are about to scute from
YOU know where.
The Washington times., 1913-02-04
The
Horse
Trainer.

<<Y row In it you amt down at
III Palm a..sar. osa...as. in
L j quired, with a wicked twin
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

Handkeychlefs
Entire line Of 35c initial
handkerchiefs, choice, 25
cents.
NeckWear
Jabots made of shadow
lace, nets and cluny; our
regular 75c quality; choice,
so cents.
Muflers, in black, pearl,
flesh, navy, brown and tanJ
soc values; choice, 10 cents.
Embrolder1eS
Beautiful remnants Of
embroidery, including both
edge and insertion; in Swiss,
cambria and nainsook; Half
Price Saturday.
DoiLies
Hemstitched doilies Of
beautiful quality in white
linen, stamped with forget"
me-nots and other conven-
tional designs; 7x7 inchesi
regular zoe; Saturday 10
cents
Stamped linen doilies-
6xe, 9xs and 12x12 inch
sizes; stamped for French
and eyelet embroidery On
the best white round thread
linen; regular pricb 15c and
Csc; all for 10 cents, Satur-
day.
Hosiery
Women's tan silk boot
hose-Our regular soc quail
ity; Saturday special. 50
CENTS pairs for $l,oo.
Women IS silk hose-reg-
ular s1.oO quality; rs cents.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

Tissue Ginghams and
Irish Dimities-These are
the real article, and sold for
Csc a yard; while they last,
1Sc yard
Figured Voiles-A fine,
evenly woven cloth; can be
had in striped effects, floral
designs and borders; are 40
inches wide and were 45c a
yard; while they last, 29c.
Dress Linens-Are much
In demand, especially the
coarse weave; all pure linen,
all the desirable shades; 45
inches wide; were 35c a
yard; reduced TO SOC a yard,
iVoiles with Ratine Bor-
ders-This combination is
new and much in demand;
white grounds with all col
ors in borders; were 85c q
yard; reduced to SOC q yard.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

kimono Crepes-In jap
anese designs; best quality,
which sold for 1sc yard;
while they last, 10c yard.
Drawn Work Voiles-
Come in solid colors, such as
PINK, light blue, Copenhagen
blue, lavender and tan; are
border effects, with four
rows drawn work; 30 inches
vide and are a regular soc
seller while they last. soc
hatlne and Ratine
Crepes-Here are two fab
flcs that are the most
isshlonable; they como In
stnPes, which is also tho
most favored design this
season; can be had either In
"hlfe or colored grounds;
Se Ssse priced at Soc yard; re-
dnced to 4oc yard.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

of the week. and yet the volume OF business grew day ae
Inferior We gave you merchandise needed now--nothng
The result shows that efforts please you have been
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29
Mill End DaMask
We have been fortu-


nate in securing another
shipment of mill remnants
in the genuine German half
or silver bleached damask.
Every housewife knows the
wearing quality of this lin
en- and that it will bleach
white in a few washings.
2x2-yard lengths, So
each; reduced from $2.75.
2x21a-yard lengths,
$3.50 each; reduced from
$3.50.
2x3-yard lengths, So
each; reduced from $40o.
Scalloped Cloths-These
are made in round designs
and are cut circular for use
on round tables. Fine
snowy white all linen satin
damask.
60x6o-inch Round Cloths,
$500; reduced to $500 each.
6ex69-inch Round Cloths,
1925; reduced to $3.50 each.
7Sx78-iuch Round Cloths,
$3.50; reduced to $3.50 each.
SSxSs-inch Round Cloths,
$1,000; reduced to $s.75 ca.
Scalloped Napkins = To
match the above cloths-are
15x15-inch or Tea size, 5000;
reduced to $4.00 doz.
20120-inch or Dinner size,
$10.25; reduced to $7.25 doz.
Linen Tea Toweling-
All linen crash for tea tow
els; 171a inches wide; heavy
weight; was 12Ec a yard;
reduced to SIZE yard.
S, rub Cloths - Heavy
knitted absorbent floor
cloths: were l0c each; for
6Kc each.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29
Wash Goods Department

We mention some of the very special
items here, but we want you to remem-
Der that all our high class wash fabrics,
such as ratine and eponges, are subject to
10 per cent discount during our anniver-
Sary sale
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29
Quilted Table Padding

Best quality, perfect goods.
Prices for Saturday only:
81 inches wide; was $1.00
yard; reduced to Use yard,
50 inches wide; was $Ll5
yard; reduced to S5c yard.
y inches wide; was $l.30
yard; reduced to 95c yard.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

| 06le CEOLfS
2x2-yard table cloths
Every cloth is pure linen
and full bleached; they
come in round and square
patterns; are slightly soiled,
but good quality. They
were originally sold for
s9,75, 1926 and 1915; are
reduced to-s1.95, $2.c5 and
$3.50 each.
2x21a-yard t a b ! e
cloths-these are also some
what soiIed, but are stand
ard quality and will give
entire satisfaction. They
were sold { for $3.50 and
s4.25; now reduced to s2.45
and s2.9S each.
2x3- yard cloths, we're
s4,25; reduced to 1885 each.
]. 2Ax214-yard cloths,
we're $3.50; reduced to $3.50
each.
Napkins
Napkins to match the
above cloths also show sub
stantial reductions.
22X22-inch napkins
that were $3.50 and $3.50
dozen; are reduced to $3.50
and S5.25 dozen.
Ax24-inch napkins,
we're $500 and $5.T5; re-
duced to 1915 and S4.25 doz.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29
Anniversary Specials from Over the Store
SATURDAY PRICES ONLY.

UnderWear
Women 8 outseam fancy
vests-Regular 95c quality;
Saturday special, SO cents.
Women's fancy vests
Regular SOC quality; Satur-
day special, 90 cents.
Boxes and Trunks
No. 1874 cedar boxes
Regular price $3.50; for
$50.
No. 2193 mating boxes
Regular price $3.50; for
$6.10.
No. 1926 Indestructo
Trunk = Regular price
$34.00; for $2410.
Go-C0rts
Here Is one or the hnest
Go-Carts made; has all the
late improvements; regular
price Is $500; Anniversary
special, $10.10.
Draperies and Rugs
so pieces cretonnes-
Regular price 40c to $1.oo;
Half Price.
Bungalow nets-regular
doc grade; 25 cents.
Bungalow nets-regular
Csc grade; Is cents.
Wilton rugs-all new
spring patterns; sizes 27x54
inches and 36I63 inches;
Saturday special = One
fifth Off.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29
Linen Department

DO YOU realize what it means to select
from our stock of fine linens and to receive 10
per cent discount your selection2 1t
biz saving for you. We guarantee our linens to
be cheaper, quality considered, than be bought
elseWhere.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-29

Children's sweater
coats, in red and navy blue,
Norfolk style, regular $3.50
values, for-Sl.45.
Children's S prin i II g
coats, in red and navy blue;
red coats have black and
white checked collar and
cuffs; navy blue coats have
black and white striped col
lar and cuffs; values up to
So 90; in our Anniversary
Sale-S3 90.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1913-03-01
Had Heard ENOUGH.

Fair Elizabeth tripped blithely into
the country postotfice,
Now. want to know" she de.
manded with telltale blush. as she
handed the clerk pink communica
tion addressed to her lover. how long
1t will be before get an answer to
this letter.
Z THAT depends he answered III
he's in jail they will let him write
once week or. maybe. once a month
only. II he's dead broke he'll have to
wait till he can earn the price OF u
stamp. and hava no data upon which
to base an opinion of his earning ca.
pacities. If he's Ill in bed he may not
care to dictate his hearts sentiments
to a cold. disinterested third party,
and II it's smallpox they won't let
him write at all; ditto If he's dead
Then, again, II he's got new girl"
At which moment he realized thar
the fair Elizabeth had fiown.-Tit-
Bits.