Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-02-02
Man Of National Size FrOI.
licked at Banquet Board
Of GridIrOn Club
Inauguration Of Washington
Star Man as President
Among the Features

NASfllNGION, rep. l.-lfeSldcHl-
elect Wilson, President Taft, Theodore
Roosevelt, William Jennings Bryan. Rip
Van Wrinkle and Il lot of other notableS
were portrayed to the Gridiron club and
it's guests tonight, at the annual winter
dinner, when men Of national size sat
at the banquet board ana saw them
selves frolicking about to their own
amusement.
The dinner took the form of one grace
full tribute to President Taft and anoth-
er to Prcsi1ent-clec Wilson. The club
began by having an inauguration of its
own president, Rudolph kaufman, Of the
Washington Evening Star. His inaugu-
raj procession, which marched into the
banquet hall to the blare Of Il band con-
sisting of Il detachment of the. New Ter
sey National guard; Il club Of Princeton
professors; Il contingent Of southern col
Onels, %hurral,ing for the Solid South"
"Places for Veterans etc; the "Wanta
Eta Pie Frat" Of college boys; Tamma-
ny's p%halanx; the IN Bad Club includ-
ing George W. Harvey, Henry Waiter
son, August Belmont and Thomas +.
Ryan, n finally Il squad of s%ulfragettes
sllriekinE Votes for women"
When the din. had partially subsldcd,
it was announced in behalf of President
Kaufman that he did not think much Of
the parade, as there were some things
missing.
Where he asked, was the Champ
Clark Houn' Dog Club
Went broke at Baltimore was the
explanation. .'..,. ..
where's the Underwood Protection
Phalanx%"
Pulled off the train by Bill Bryan and
Slapped into steel shackles,'' was the an
swer. while the Harmon Ohio Buck
eyes" were being entertained at French
Lick Springs at Tom Tagsart's expense.
Such as 1t was, the new president was
obliged to be content with his Inaugural |
ton. and received the sacred emblem Of
office, the golden gridiron. with the state !
ment that this being an era of economy |
and reform. he would be allowed neither !
salary nor travelling expenses.
Hardly had the guests turned again to
their terrapin when entrance was de-
manded and achieved by the Sigma-I'i-
Pi-Sisma Fraternity Of the Yale Law
School which insisted in initiating two
new members to the club. The dinner
was suspended for the ceremony. The
neophytes were Mr.. William of Cincin-
nati' and mfr. Theodore Of Oyster
Bay to be known in the order respec-
lively as Brother Bilr' Id 'Brotherl
Teddy A discord in the band was en-
planned by the inability of the n]eophpytes
to agree on a marching tune: one de-
handing the only tune he knew. "A
Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" and
the other wanting keller's Hymn of
Peace"
The Grand Panjandrum'' explained
that IS. p. 7. s." meant "Standpat Pro-
srcssive Society,"" The symbol of the
ballot box, with a coffin and scholars
cap below 1t, meant the ballot box is !
the one peaceful bludgeon in the hands
OF the people" "He who is stricken by
it may either crawl into his political
coffin II die at once, or prolong life a
little by going to teach at 4 university"
a nondescript, double ended animal,
with a moose head at one end and au
elephants at the other, replaced the
t~imc-honored goat. that both candidates
should be able to ride at once. When |
1t broke down under their combined !
weight. Theodore deliantly declared that
though he couldn't run the darn thing,
by Godfrey. l smashed it," while Will
liam backed himself against the world
for a good loser" In the struggle, the