The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1913-08-28
THE SAYINGS OF PENQENNIs
By Pendennes.


Making fun of others advertises your
egotism.
II you play the game and loose, do not
Kick because you are beaten. That only
cheney
II you cannot keep all your promises
make them anyway. 1t is better to err in
good Intentions than to make no preten-
ton to goodness.
he women who were recently appoint
ed to serve on the Chicago police force.
object to being called policewomen. They
say they are social service workers. =
Why not call them public guardian
angels?
Dunlop's Saturday Night Dispatch
Cubists food is now the raee. Good
chance for the landlady to hand out hash
under a new title. - A cube being q
square solid body, will not the cub;sts
claim that the new brand of food n.Las
square solid meals? '""Nes
Did you enjoy your American trip nv
Lord, was asked of Lord Rumlev
Most extraordinary you know, really Old
man they actually make heroes out of peo-
pie who commit theft. NV host in Chi
cago wished to introduce the chamnion
base stealer to me at his country home >
Learned doctors are going to study the
enect OF muscular activity upon the heart
at the new stadium in Berlin. There will
De several cases of heart depression noted
by the scientists when the American atb-
leteS carry off the honors at the next
OlynPlan games on the Berlin stadium
The mayor of Clarksburg, w. Va. re-
FUSED to be innoculated with the oerm If
midsummer madness. He apologized 70
TWO young women who were arranged be-
Iore him for wearing slit skirts. Let the
laales alone; they will not wear them NEXT
winter. The weather is, as you know.
ne Mexican party, in control of the
lily OF Mexico, made rather crude at
tempt at diplomacy when special en-
0aSsy was dispatched by Huerta to Japan.
Inc California incident is closed. The
Mexican party, in temporary power, has
given the United States another reason for
non recognition.
Another old time joke received a set
pack recently. Eighteen bulls and eleven
norSeS were killed and matador seriously
injured and picador gored during a bull
night in Spain. The affair lasted ten hours.
NOW let some fire eater get killed in a
french duel and considerable inroad will
De made In the humorous stock in trade.
ne women who wish to exclude women
rom the poles call their society "Women
ConServatlonlstS. A very good name,
but conservationism and stand-patism has
put few believers in these days of progress.
ne world moves, as the old saving re-
minds us, and if you do not move with it
you will be left behind.
Chicago is going to encourage young
married couples in their struggle with the
high cost of living and Cook county is 60
ing to live up to its name and give away
with each marriage license cook book
but cook books do not make cooks. HUI
morlsts should boycott the idea; for is not
the time honored jokes about the young
housewives cooking threatened with an
eclipse?
Cobless corn is one of the possibilities
OF the future. That is all very we'll for
those who like corn; but how about the
ones who like corn on the cob, either
steamed, roasted or boiled. Half the
pleasure in eatinga "roastin ear is knaw-
ing the corn off the cob. 1t may be adj
ded there is some enjoyment in getting
your nose buttered and your mustache
filled with salt and pepper.
New Jersey is going to try the effect of
music on its mosquitoes. 1t is claimed
that music has tendency to put mosqui-
toes to sleep. Some of the rag time tunes
would probably kill them. There is
plenty of material in New Jersey to prac-
tice upon, and maybe some good will re-
suit to the mosquitoes. Now if you hear
a mosquito sing a popular air you will
know the experiment has been tried
The success of the Belgium strikers in
spired the Italian Socialists to organize
the workers of Italy and demand better
conditions. But they did not take the
difference in temperament between the ma
tlves OF the two countries into considera-
ton. No violence marked the Belgium
strike. The strike in Italy has resulted in
disorder and some blood shed. Violence
begets hatred, and the Italian strike will
fail to help the workers.
Just when the news comes of the failures
OF the corn crop down in Iowa, the opti-
mists announce their intention of having a
good time anyway. Waterloo, Ia, has
started a:'series of entertainments, and
call the festive occasions "Glad Hand
Week. Everybody is invited to come
to that town during 'sGlad Hand Week
Now that is what gives the pessimists good
body blow. That s'Glad Hand business
is what maks good town. If you got
good thing tell the other fellows and let
them help you celebrate.