New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-11-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

One general nuisance-a traveller who returned
from his first European trip a few weeks ago and
has been a bore to his friends ever snce-was sub
stantially squeched a wet day recently.
Isn't this weather the limit" he inquired as ne
met a friend who was equally aware that the gamut
OF atmospheric change had been run in the preced-
ing twenty-four hours Reminds me Of the night
spent at a pretty little hotel Alpine lake
Well" responded his friend. hoping it would be
short.
when | arrived the sun was just going down on
"A scene OF unsurpassed beauty. The hotel was en-
tirely surrounded by blooming gardens and green
terraces leading down to charming little lake
colored by the last rays of the sun and prettily
marked by the shadows cast by trees on shore. The
next morning the landscape was buried under TWO
feet of snow. Some change. eh?'
Huh" was the preliminary Of the squelcher. In
Minnesota when | was a boy | recall quicker
change than that. Some Of us boys were having a
snow battle. one let fly SNOWFALL at another 1t
scalded him TO death"
Teacher-Henry can you define "A hypocrte?
Henry-Yessum. It's kid wot comes to school
wild a smile on his face.-Judge.
WHOM IT MAY DEVOUR.
The Tiger thinks the outlook sad.
The Tigers temper's very bad.
The Tiger sees but little food;
The Tigers appetite is good
The Tiger has small chance TO rob.
| should not like it's keepers job;
Twill very likely take the whim
TO promptly make meal OF him!
Wigg-Poor old Henpecks wife makes him mind
the children.
Wagg-Which Of course, disproves the theory that
the hand rocks the cradle is the hand that rules
the world-Philadelpha Record.
The curtain had fallen the other night on the first
act at the Century opera House
lie was a tall, scholarly person, with the air of
one given to musical passions. She was a nury
young thing, with a perfect knowledge of all the lat
est sundaes and headdress styles which crowded out
her appreciation Of art.
Aren't the acoustic properties wonderful he
sighed.
she was frankly nonpussed but she decided to
take chance.
simply delicious she exclaimed softly. Il have
never seen anything wonderful. Is It true that
they have new ones for every performance When
he spoke again 1T to inquire whether she pre-
ferred chocolate to raspberry soda.
81 see that Dr. Cook has gone into vaudeville"
well, he didn't have far to go."-Boston Tran
script.
A Washington Heights housewife giving final
concerning dinner party to her priced
maid, recently over from Queens County Ireland.
The marketman had neglected to fill her entire order
and the maid with proper pride in the social side OF
the household, was much disturbed, but her mis-
tress treasured her.
oh that'l be all right Kate I'll make an apol-
ogy for them"
Later, as the dinner advanced, the maid placed on
the table dish, which, when the cover was re-
moved proved to be empty.
Kate what's this dish for?" inquired the hostess
in surprise.
why, that's for the apology, ma am"
The new baby had proved itself the possessor OF
extraordinary lung powers. One day babys brother,
little Johnny, said 10 his mother:
Ma, little brother came from heaven didn't he?"
Yes dear" answered the mother.
Johnny silent for minute, and then he went
on:
II say, ma"
What is it, johnny
81 don't blame the angels for singing him out
do you?"-Tit-Bits