Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-09-18

B5SH5tZE1It2-A4s
The woman. who hesitates has no secret to tel
If a woman cant be aattersd il 1 sign she Is deaf.
u You can get insured against any accident except narriage
Father always calls a spade a spade when he is asked to dig
II .
A lot of dead ones#in every town are holding out on the I'M
\
It customary for a man with more dollars than sense to a-
dumulate popularity.
Occasionally a woman weighs her words-then throws in a
= .
Not even an ingenious woman can make a really good hus-
Iand out Of poor material.
The fool man who is always asking for advice should be ad-
9ised to keep his mouth closed.
A
The man who earns a good living has nothing to complain Of
unless some other fellow gets it
III =
Some people get a lot Of satisfaction out Of meeting someone
Ivho hates the same people they hate
After all, father does his share of theswork around the house.
Pile lets the flies IN 50 mother can drive them out.
This would be a more satisfactory world if there were less
sheet music and more spelling books in our homes.
Every time mother indignates and wishes she had been born
a man, you can bet that father viii agree with her.
A bluff might go all right in a poker game, but it don't
get a fellow any grapes J. the everyday walks sf Lite.
A woman likes to see something nice about her husband in
the papers 50 that she can ask him for q new dress and get It.
Talking about art, d, said Slim Bill, did You ever get a
rear view Of a fat girl who was sitting on q little piano stool?'
Better not attempt to resurrect the republican party until
cooler weather We have a notion that they forgot to enbsm it
The man who thinks he is marrying an angel IN disguise oe-
casionally discovers later that the alleged disguise was perrna-
ne"" ! ! \ \
NIhe old-fashioned gent who used to go to bed with the chick
ems on the farm, now has a son who stays up all night chasing
them in the city.
Every time we see a fat woman in a fragile evening gown Of
chiffon, net and lace, we always wonder what might happen if
We have notice, noticed I that 4, tie s,,, fellow w who .2 is always ssxs. roaring nssns ! st
wife won't know he has had a drink
The annual footpad festivities in which the robbng Of har-
vest hands is the great feature have now begun This is about
the only time of year in which it is worth while to rob a harvest
The prohibition party announces that there is one bartender
to every two school teachers in this country. This may mean
that bartenders are well educated, or it may mean that school
teachers ]getthirsty. At any rate i means something.
A woman in Chicago got damages Of $4,000 against saloon
she Spep had t. to support suprpg The the family. Drunken a husbands may il this
way be made gold mines if they can can go on finding saloons
to take chances with enterprising ltigant. wives.
John y Ries, the present county commissioner, is being urged
by his friends to become a candidate for the office Of county
Flats, will say this much for Mr.. Ries, and that is he is a gentle
man at every jump of the road and has given eminent satisfaction
as county commissioner from his district and it he concludes to
run for this office the other fellows who have q political be. u u
their bonnet for the office of county auditor had better sit on the
fence and see him go by. HE'S there and over when IT comes to
getting votes.
THE GIRL TO TIE TO.
An old gentleman was heard to remark the other day
ssOnce / was Young, and / never saw a girl unfalthfuls to her
mother that ever came to be worth a one-eyed button to. her
husband. It's not q guess. e ism in the Bible. # is written
large and awful in the list of misft homes. If one of you boys
ever run across a girl with her face full Of roses who says as you
come to the door: / cant go for thirty minutes as the dishes
aren't washed vet, you wait for that girl. . SIT down on the
door step and wait for her, because some other fellow may come
along and carry her off and right there you have lost an angel
Wait for her and stick to her like a burr to a mules tail'-Ex.
- *#
Yes we cut out all the slang stuff a certain girl told her
gentleman friend the other day Gee, but my talk was 5gettln'
fierce. I've worked up a line of fable material that had George
AIDE backed off the map and gaspina for breath, but I'VE dltched
all that now. / scent it was up to me to switch onto another track.
famed on my emergency brake one day and says to myself, You
Mutt, where do you think you wind up if you don't slough tins
roJphS stnif Won re5 shown across on YOU unprotected frlends4a