davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1913-12-07

- Ai IItrHts anu purposes lie Is at
tached To- the Washington police depart
ment under the supreme direction of Mai
Richard Sylvester. although his pay comes
from the Golfers OF the different street
car companies. In ali of the thickly con-
gested sections OF the city the vigil of the
crossing policeman is sixteen hours long
and this is divided into two eight-hour
shifts. that the policeman works no
longer than the precinct roundsman In
the outlying districts the hours OF service
are eight. Thus in the downtown sec
tionS OF the city the hours for the first
crossing policeman are from am.
until pm. He is then relieved by an
other man, who continues in service un-
til midnight. The crossing policeman
doesn't have 10 report off duty. He re-
ports to the precinct where he Is located
when he goes duty. When another
man comes TO relieve him ne simply goes
home. The sergeant on his rounds of in
spection keeps an eye on the crossing cop
exactly as he does on any other.
There are ntty-two crossing policemen
In Washington. with four substitutes who
serve in the event of Illness or leave of
one OF the regular members. The Pay is
graduated exactly as IL is in the case Of
the regular policemen A man goes in at
SO a month, and rises first 10 $50, and
then 10 S1oN Police officials say that the
entrance examination for a crossing po-
iceman IS less rigid than for regular
policeman. one difference being that 4
crossing policeman may get the force
regardless of the time of residence here,
while the regular policeman must have
lived for five years in the District
Stories told by crossing policemen of
the little things that happen TO them in
the course of days duty are pages torn
from the book of a citys life Comedy
and melodrama and tragedy, all these and
the countless intermixtures Of the three
come to them
= tall policeman who had one of the
downtown posts. was trying TO persuade
recalcitrant negro drivers and anarchistfc
automobilists to realize that traffic rules
are not written to improve somebody s
Evening star., 1913-12-07

command of English, but to be obeyed
He was tall. sad-eyed crossing police
man who didn't want to make arrests
unless he had to. The other day as he
was guarding his corner an automobolist,
who either didn't know the rules in Wash
ington. or didn't care. started to charge
diagonally across the car tracks.
Here shouted the crossing policeman,
you can't do that
| why in thunder cant To- demanded
| the automobilist. I'm doing it, amt t.
You've got to go around" explained
the crossing policeman as the autono-
| bile halted within a few feet of him.
Who says so?" snapped the automo-
bilist
The police regulate said the
policeman.
This particular automoblist didn't
seem to revere the police regulations re-
garding traffic turns. He hurt the feel
ings of the crossing policeman by his
language. And by this time the police
man was getting impatient, as were a
couple of wagoners.
Either you so around in the way 1
suggested, the official stated, "or you
will go to court
The automobilist. still grumbling
started his machine going and began TO
circle around-the wrong way.
Here yelled the policeman. you
can't do that. You'll run into the up
street traffic"
This time the automobiIiSt was
thoroughly warmed up. He stopped his
machine over by the curb. Then he
walked over to the policeman
Look here" he roared. I'm a good
natured man. but when anybody III
policeman's uniform tries 10 kid me and
make me ride around in a circle like a
blooming merry-go-round, ! want 10 tell
YOU that / don't stand for ii -
BY pure good fortune he had stopped
his machine III the proper place by the
curb. The policeman explained to him,
briefly. the theory of the continuous
circle" by which accidents TO vehicles
are avoided. But the automobilist was
still aggrieyed.
Il suppose ne said. that YOU can't
help it. But when l think of those reg
ulat.ons trying TO make q blamed raz-
zle-daZzle out of me-
His voice rose. He spoke from his
heart. Then he climbed into his machine
and started off.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
A Cardboard Planet.

One remarkable achievement of Sir
William Herschel was in connection
with the planet Saturn. He had ar
ranged to erect his telescope ut Wind
sor castle to enable Queen Charlotte
and the ladies of the court to see the
wonders of the ringed planet, but on
the evening arranged for the observa.
ton great banks Of clouds covered the
sky. However, he explained that that
would not matter, and after the instru-
ment had been carefully directed the
queen and her attendants looked
through it and saw the great planet
and it's marvellous rings quite distinct
~. Herschel, it seems. had expected
bad weather and during the day had
made a cardboard model Of the Satur-
MAN system and erected it in the
grounds, Il lamp at the back providing
the necessary Notwithstanding
ster Gazette.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Hit Him With the Text.

ION a visit to Scotland | went to the
old United Presbyterian kirk at Sa-
voch," said a clergyman, and | heard
Il good story about a former minister.
His name was the Rev. David Cav.
and he as very diminutive, standing
only about five feet two inches. He
led to the altar a strapping, handsome
lass some five or six inches taller than
he. and her name was Grace Wilson.
THE Sunday after the wedding he
got a neighboring minister to preach
for him. so that he could sit with his
bride on the first Sunday. The minis
ter was a good deal Of a wag, so Mr..
Cav made him promise faithfully that
he would not allude in his sermon to
himself, his bride or the fact of the
marriage. The wag gave the promise
that in his Sermon he would make no
allusion of that kind whatever, but Mr..
Cav nearly sank through the floor
when the text was given out
EpheSians iii, S. Unto me, who am
less than the least of all saints, is this
Grace given"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Slayer and SIeioher.

In the first number of the Atlantic
Monthly Ralph Waldo Emerson had a
poem called "Brahma,' which puzzled
both critics and common readers.
Some said it was the greatest poem Of
the century. Some said it was non.
nse. The first verse ran as follows:
II the red slayer think he slays.
or II the slain think he is slain.
Ihey know not we'll the subtle ways
! keep and pass and turn again.
That winter it happened that a rela.
tive Of the poet Longfellow. living in
another state, bought a sleigh. and in
a family letter to the cousins in Cam.
bridge there was a wall lest the ,Janu.
airy thaw which had followed the our
chase should keep them from ENJOYING
the gay cutter that season. When the
letter vas answered Longfellow con
tributed this verse:
TO - ON THE PURCHASE OF A
SLEIGH.
II the red sleigher think he sleighs.
Or II the sleighin think II Is sleig hin.
They know not well the subtle ways
OF snow. that ome and goes again.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Overwhelming the RothschiIds.

One hundred years g the Roths-
chills were the only great interna-
tional bankers. They were able to
finance the need Of nations, but the
money they loaned was chiefly the
money representing their colossal fam.
lily fortune. Today there are a dozen
great international banking firms, each
of which is larger than the Rothschilds
were a century ago and whose aggre-
gate loaning power reaches an amount
which would then have been almost in
conceivable. There are now Il thou
sand banks where then there was one,
each representing the concentrated
~loaning power Of thousands of people.
They offer vast credit because the
funds of the people. loaned through
them, reach vast sums.-S. W.. Straus
in National Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Poor Cefenseiess Men,

y certain painter in New York.
though he is still q young man and
looks younger. has a way Of winning
prizes at National Academy exhibit
tons and such; also he has Il studio
near Central park. The other day he
went into the park with the sort of
paraphernalia artists use when they go
sketching. He picked out q place to
suit him. set up his workshop and fell
to very earnestly, Presently he was
aware Of something behind him-some-
thing with eyes. He looked up. There
stood Il smart'y dressed young lady,
aged five or thereaboutS. She was
frankly interested in what he was do
Ing and met his gaze without embar-
rassment.
DO you mind if Il little girl looks
over your shoulder:" she said
Not If she is a good little girl" re-
piled the artist politely, and went on
with his painting. 1t was some time
before he looked up again. The young
lady of tive'was still there. She caught
his eye and bent toward him with an
eager. coaxing smile.
what do the naughty little girls say
to your she whispered New York
Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
"God Bless NV Mother!U

A little child with f1aXen hair
And sunlit eyes so sweet and fair,
Who kneels when twilight darkens all
And from those loving lips there fall
The accents of this simple prayer:
God bless-God bless my mother!"
A youth upon life's threshold wide,
Who leaves a gentle mothers side,
Yet keeps enshrined within his breast
Her words of warning, still the best.
And whispers when temptation tries,
GOD bless-God bless my mother!'
A white haired man who gazes back
Along life's weary, furrowed track
And sees one face-an angel now
Hears words of light that led Alright,
And prays with reverential brow,
God bless-God bless my mOther!"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10

for land, was robbed of $500 by three
crooks, who have been here working
the strangers. Wright flashed a roll
OF bills in the Club saloon yesterday
n was spotted at once by the
crooks and n Of them followed him
to his room. Wright laid down on his
bed and the fellow secured access to
the room and soon afterward Joined
his pals with the roll.
Helena, Sept. 6.--Members of coun.
ty fair commissioners are held to he
officers by Attorney General D. M.
Kelly, in an opinion JUS: rendered.
and county attorneys must defend n
not prosecute claims brought against
them. 1t is also held that money an.
%propriated by boards of county COM
missioners cannot be expended for
horse racing or other speed events. or
for shows or amusements of any kind.
Helena, Sept. 6.-Another obstacle
which confronted Samuel A. Hall n
his efforts to obtain a pardon. was
removed today when J.. J. Ryan, clerk
OF the board of pardons, received a let
ter from j. E. Lowery of Calumet,
Mich, stating that he had no ob1ec.
tons to Halls release if furnished the
proper guarantee that Hall would
make good. Lowney was stung for
about $4,000 and at the recent hear
ing in Butte his name was used as on.
posed to Halls conditional pardon.
In his letter he states that this was an
error.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
What They Knew Of Luther.

OF the painful lack Of general infor-
nation shown by the college student
II instance will suffice. In a written
test whether in a college for young
men or women is immateriaD the ques-
ton was asked, what was the secret
of Luther's success as a reformer?"
The question was left unanswered by
the majority of the class. Some frank
~ avowed they did not know who Lu-
Their was. Some ~confounded the name
with that of Luther Burbank. One an
swer which greatly Mortified the pro-
fessors was this: ''The secret Of Luz
theirs success was his diet Of worms"
Suburban Life.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Turning the Tables.

Here Is a West Point story. told
about one Of the awe inspiring sentries
who halt everybody who approaches
after II o'clock at night.
Old black Rob. the servant of one of
the academy instructors. gave his YER
sion Of it thus:
Mis- Margaret, yo' knows dat cul-
lud girl wat works TO- Captain Sniff?
wal. she were comm home late las
night from der city. an when she
clomb up to der top OBJ dis we're tall hill
OBJ dem dere little sentry boys yell
out loud to her an say: Halt! Who
comes yere? Josephine. she's not a
bit feared OBJ anything. so she jes'
speaks up sorta quick-like an say:
Now don't you be scairt. honey. No.
body amt gwine to hurt yo'""-Wom.
ans Home Companion.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
- The -
Scrap Book
Couldn't Stick Him Again.

A bishop. accosted in Fifth avenue.
New York. by a neat but hungry stran-
ger, took the needy n to a hotel and
shared a really fine dinner with him.
yet, having left his episcopal wallet in
the pocket of a different episcopal
jacket. suddenly faced the embarrass-
ment of not possessing the where
withal to pony up.
"Never mind" exclaimed his guest;
II have enjoyed dining with you. and
I shall be charmed to shoulder the
cost. Permit me-" Whereupon the
stranger paid for two.
This worried the prelate. who in
sisted. Just let me call a cab and
Well run up to my hotel. where l shall
have the pleasure of reimbursing you"
But the stranger met the suggestion
with. "See here, old man. you've stuck
me for a bully good dinner, but I'll be
hanged If I'm going to let you stick
me for car fare!"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10

after the applicant had repeated the
request once or twice he gave in and
handed him the words of a song.
Sing that he said. and he motion
ed to the pianist to play the accom-.
paniment. go orr
After some hesitation the stranger
lifted up his voice and sang, and the
result was so awful that the manager
interrupted hurriedly.
stop, stop" he shouted. What do
you mean by this ~tomfoolery? You
have the COMPOUNDED impudence to ask
me for a job?"
The stranger looked hurt. "Well, !
didnt want to sing" he said with an
injured air. II amt no singer. I'm
a stage carpenter. an | only sang to
please you. o you asked me TOT"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Nine. Loubet's Corset Mystery.


A capital story is being told in Paris
OF NJ. Loubet. The other afternoon a
friend saw the eX-president seated in
MS carriage on the boulevards. Quite
two hours later the friend happened
to pass again. Loubet was still there.
Approaching the carriage. the passerby
inquired: well, Emile. you have more
leisure nowadays than you know what
to do with, And madamey' Mime.
Loubet," echoed the ex-president-
"she's quite well. She's in there-has
been for two hours" pointing to the
shop. 1t was "Au Corset Mystere."
1T will be Il mystery to me-" added
Loubet. IF she gets fitted by dinner.
She certainly won't after."-New York
Sun.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Did His Best Anvhou.

Mrs. DOyley Carte used to tell this
story OF the olden days at the Savoy.
IN London. when her husband was
staging Gilbert and Sullivan's operas:
A seedy looking individual applied
to Mrs. D'OyIey Carte SO persistently
for work that at last she referred him
to her husband. At the moment the
latter was busy trying some cundi-
dates for the chorus, but this did not
prevent the applicant from interrupt.
ing to ask him for work. Mr.. D'Oyley
Carte waved him off impatieptlv. but
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Came Out Unhurt,

A Kentucky colonel of the old school
had made a proud boast that he hadn't
drunk a glass Of water in twenty
years. One day as he was riding to
Nashville on the old T.. and N. the train
was wrecked while crossing a bridge
and plunged into the river. They DULL
ed the colonel out with o boat hook,
n when they got him on shore one
Of his friends rushed up, crying. "Colo-
mel, are you hurt?"
"No!" he snorted. "Neyer swallowed
a drop"-Everybody's.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
MARK TWAIN AND o. HENRY.
hun,or Of Their Column WRITING In tho
Old Days.

WV 00yO
In the old days writing columns was
a noble business. 1t was generally re-
garded as a preface to literary achieve.
ment. Mark Twain and O. Henry
were columners and were working
along the good. old safe lines years
ago. They were both particularly
strong for answering imaginary cor.
respondents. Here is a sample from the
work of each. so you may judge how
far the columning art has backed up.
The first paragraph is Mark Twain's:
Arithmeticus. Virginia City, Nev.-If it
would take a cannon ball three and one
third seconds to travel four miles and
three and three-eighths seconds to travel
the next four and three and five-eighths
to travel the next four and If its rate of
progress continued to diminish In the
same ratio. how long would it take it to
go 1900, 0oC. 100000 of miles? I don't know.
Follows q. Henry's:
Who was the author of the line,
"Breathes there a man with soul SO
dead?'-G. F.
This was written by a visitor to the
state ~saengerfest Of 1892 while conversing
with a member who had Just eaten a
large slice Of limburger cheese.
Both Mark Twain and o. Henry
writer's Of burlesque too. They
burlesqued novels. Eleanor Glyn and
Arnold Bennett would have been sau-
sage and wheat cakes for them if they
1ad been unknown columners when
he two last named got into the strong
literary light. Chicago Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Love and Hate.

Love once more; perhaps this time
you may succeed in being loved back
again.
Enemies are only useful as long as
you are rising. Once ut the top you
must do away with them by making
them your acknowledgements Of Queen
Elisabeth Carmen SYLVIA.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Notice to Creditors

Estate of Bernard l.. Powers, deceased.
Notice is hereby given by the UNDER
signed executors Of the last will and tcs-
lament Of Bernard l.. Powers, deceased,
to the creditors of. and all persons having
hibit them with the necessary Vouchers
within four months after the first publi-
cation Of this notice, to the said exeSut-
riot Court. at Fort Benton, in the county
OF ChOuteau.
ANNA NJ. POWERS,
PHILLIP 4. POWERS,
Executors OF tho estate of Bernard l..
Powers deceased.
First publication, Sept. 9, 1918.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Gixinu LIN.

II gave up smoking to please Rosa
and drinking to please Nellie"
what did you give up to please Ma
rie?"
Nothing as yet. She wants me to
give up the two other girls."--Pitts-
burgh Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Enthusiasm.

Let us beware OF losing our en-
thusiasm. Let us ever glory in some
thing and strive to retain our admiia-
ton for all that would ennohle and
u interest in all that would enrich
and beautify orr fe.-Phillips Brooks
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10

A merry heart maketh a cheerful
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10

Terms Of Court For 1918.
CHOUTEAU COUNTY
Tuesday, Septemb Der 8
Tuesday. November Is
HILL COUNTY
Tuesday. OctO Der %.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Defines Economy.

Defines Economy.
what is the meaning Of economy"
ECONOMY, my son, is going without
something you do want in case some
day you should want something which
you probably won't want."-Exchange.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-09-10
Their Class,

"What are the kind they call fugitive
poetsT
II suppose they are the ones whose
style Is chased."-Exchange.
The Ordway new era., 1913-11-14
"eoLD RUSH" GOOSE DIES
Wsb-Footsd Animal Which Went Yves.
In 80 Was Pet for Fifty
Years.

Marion. o.-Ohio's Oldest goose
which was taken from Marion by IVES.
ley H. Gouldin to the California gold
field in 1s4s. Is dead.
When Wesley Gouldin and his fam.
lily left Marion county for the Pacific
coast. driving oxen. they took with
them the best specimens Of their barn.
yard fowls. The only bird which sur.
vived their journey was white goose.
So attached did the family become to
It that It was always regarded a. .
household pet
For 30 years the goose laid from
three to ten eggs every spring. o.
late years the supply dwindled until
this spring only one small egg was pro
duced. When the gnarled feet Of the
aged bird failed longer to bear up its
body the bird died.
The Ordway new era., 1913-11-14
PRESIDENTS GRAVES

country seat in Pennsylvania. called
Wheatland. He was buried at Wood
ward Hill cemetery. near Lancaster. in
the same state.
Abraham Lincoln closed his eyes in
death on the morning of April 15,
1863. On the fourth day of the follow
ing May the martyred president was
laid to rest in Oak Ridge cemetery. at
Springfield. Ill.
Andrew Johnson. then q distinguish
ed member of the United States sen.
ate. died suddenly on July 81. 1875.
He was buried in the Greenvills
(Tenn.) cemetery at spot he selected
Gen. Ulysses s. Grant died at Mount
McGregor, N. Y. on July 23, 1885. and
lies In sepulcher at Riverside park.
in New York city.
Rutherford B. Hayes passed away at
his residence. Spiegel Grove. In Fre-
mont. O.. January II. 1893. and his
body rests In cemetery near that city.
James A. Garfield was cruelty shot
by an assassin In Washington, july
2, 1881, and died at Elberon. N. j., Oh
September 10 Of the same year. His
remains were inferred In Lake View
cemetery at Cleveland, Ohio.
Chester A. Arthur died at his home
in New York, November Is, 1885, and
was buried In the old Rural cemetery
at Albany. N. Y.
Benjamin Harrison breathed his last
at his home at Indianapolis. Ind.
March 13, 1901. The ex-president
was buried in Crown Hill cemetery.
near Indianapolis.
william Mckinley was shot by an
assassin on the afternoon OF Septem.
Der 8, 1901. while holding public
reception at Buffalo. N. Y. Four days
later his remains were placed in
Westlawn cemetery. at Canton. Ohio.
his home city.
Grover Cleveland. the last OF our
ex-presidents to die. passed from
earth June "a. 1905. at Westland. his
Princeton home. His- remains we're
inferred In the Princeton cemetery on
June 26, 1908.
The Ordway new era., 1913-11-14
Made q Difference.

Col. Mundy. of the 23d KY. after the
Nashville campaign. was sent to New
Orleans. He spoke to the head walt
er:
"Ah you tn head niggah in this
yere hotel?"
"Ah's q culled gemmen. as all these
yere other culled gemmen will veraci-
fy," said that dignitary.
Well" said the colonel. lead me
70 the head niggah. have IS yere
TO him. | want good service while
I'm yere." u,
"Oh. yes. sab: yes. sah-h: ahm de
head niggah."
The Ordway new era., 1913-11-14
REPRODUCE FIGHT FOR FILM
Noted Army Leaders and Indian War.
rIors Re-En9et Old Battle Of
Wounded Knee.

Valentine. Neb-A part Of the his
torical battle Of Wounded Knee. which
was fought December 28. 1890. was rs-
produced for motion pictures near the
Pine Ridge agency at the instigation
Of Col. w. F. Cody.
The assistance of some Of the same
Indians who participated In the bat
tie was secured and they played the
same part that they took in the bat
tie % years ago.
Two troops OF soldiers from Fort
Robinson took part.
Tho battle was reproduced with the
same accuracy In every detail, and
Gen. Nelson A. Miles. Brig. Gen.
Charles A. King. and Maj. Jesse II.