davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Why Do Young Women
Laugh So Easilyp
By n. Q. WILLIAMS. Yankton. S. D.

lately concrete under my observation
frequent the society of young very little but the other
ming friend Of persuaded offer myself up the safa
complement of party four He provided the time the place and
the girls.
During the of the evening he continually Embossed stream OF
obvious pun which the young he accompanied
shook with uncomfortable laughter On recovering from these sustained
attacks had caught the scnlang remark she would lean
and repeat it for my especial benefit.
At first greeted these repetons with look Of panied surprise
the evening away sed myself and her later eng
of the harousy funny observations mustered respectable
of appreciation laughed
always considered unmany thing jokes
having idea they feel bound
of poteness
Ehe sacrifice
On the evening speak of violated principles and allowed
wit gbo with the result that she laughed Of %
either deep funny at all Sharp twges
racked since for conduct.
Yet why do they laugh? Against the young lady in this particular
instance would be extremely reluctant make complaint
for in addition being charming
easy to look at she has rosebud mouth simply ask
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

Montmorency Miggsworth loved Lucre-
tia Ann Adair,
Lover her with the love of twenty-four,
Loved the very hairpins that were fas-
tened in her hair,
Loved the plaits and puffs and rat she
wore.
Loved the sky because she. saw it,
Loved the air because she breathed II,
Loved her as he fancied man had never
loved before
Montmorency Miggsworth loved the little
yellow bird
That the maiden fed from day to day,
Loved the brindle kitten that lay in her
lap and purred,
Loved the wads Of gum she tossed
away,
Loved the chair that she sat in,
Loved the tub that she bathed in,
Loved her SO he hardly had the time
to earn his pay.
Montmorency Miggsworth loved the shoes
upon her feet,
Loved the little mole upon her cheek;
Loved her so he gladly paid for things
she liked to eat,
Went to see her seven nights a week;
Loved the filings in her molars.
Loved the charcoal on her eyebrows,
Loved SO love became the only word he
cared to speak.
Montmorency Miggsworth lose the job he
had possessed.
Lost 1t when he had himself to blame;
Then Lucretia scorned him. and, discour-
aged and oppressed,
What he did was really a shame
Thought that life was not worth liv-
ing,
Loathed the world and longed to leave
it,
But the world went swinging on its orbit
just the same.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
EASTERN EYES ON
ALFALFA PLANT
Crop Will Do More to Restore
Worn Out Farms Than Any
Thing Yet Suggested.

A. carload of alfalfa seed shipped
from Oklahoma to the farmers of the
New England states opened the eyes
of the eastern press and caused them
to give much publicity to the import
ance of this valuable harvest.
This carload of seed consisted of
about 500 bushels, worth $3.50 per
bushel, or $4,000 In round figures.
1t was retailed to farmers at $40 per
bushell, or more, but even at that
price 1t was cheaper than any other
seed they could use for producing
stock food.
The newspapers of the east have
advertised the Importance of alfalfa
and SO have most of the agricultural
colleges, but the farmers who read
western farm papers are just learning
what 1t means and It's popularity as a
reliable and profitable farm crop
Where the ground has been pre-
pared in the proper manner ard pure
seed sown under favorable conditions
alfalfa has produced from one ton to
a ton and half per acre at single
cutting. AS alfalfa always produces
two and sometimes three crops a year
the yield is much larger and the
incorporating capacity of the land
many times greater than any other
farm feed that can be raised on New
England soil.
1t is wrong theory that alfalfa
cannot be raised in the east. Many
farmers have tried 1t and failed, but
the failure almost in every instance
may be traced TO four things:
Sour soil. lack of bacteria, insufficient
preparation of the soil and impure
non-ger- "inating seed.
Lime will sweeten the soil Soil
from an old alfalfa field will supply
the bacteria and the application OF
common sense and patience will dc
he rest.
Alfalfa will do more to restore worn
out farms of the east and south and
do it more cheaply than anything else
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
CHOOSING the RIAht Present.

Are you in doubt about certain
present? The Youths Companion has
proved to be one Of the best that can
be chosen. Perhaps you have not
seen it lately, and are not quite sure,
Then let us send you a sample copy
or two. Suppose you ask for the is
sues containing the opening chapters
OF Arthur Stanwood Piers fine serial
story of life in boys school-'His
Fathers Son." If you look the paper
over carefully, bearing in mind that
there are fifty+two such numbers for
years subscription OF $500, we are
sure you will say that a better pres
ent could not be chosen, whether for
young person or for an entire fam
lily.
For the years subscription Of $500
there is included copy of The Com.
panion Practical Home Calendar for
1914, and all the issues for the remain
ing weeks of this year, dating from
the time the subscription is received.
If you ask for sample copies we
will send with them the Announce
ment for 1914.
THE YOUTHS COMPANION,
(Adv.) 144 Berkeley St., Boston, Mass.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

is the best material for the purpose
that we have ever used
The frost will not penetrate the
leaves, IL enough are used, and when
the sun shines and the air is mild /
rake Off the leaves and then replace
before shutdown.
II there are indications of severe
freeze, some old carpet or something
Of the sort is spread over the top Of
the ridges.
would rather do all of this and be
rewarded with crisp, fine-favored cell
cry, than put it in the cellar and have
lot of tasteless stuff that is only a
disappointment at best
No matter how much earth clings to
the roots or how careful one is to
protect them from the air, whenever
the roots are once disturbed the plant
loses it's fine flavor
Another peculiarly of the plant is
this: IL the roots are not cut off soon
after the plant ID taken from the
ground much Of the fine flavor will be
lost. This is strange but none the
less true.
A few light frosts will not injure
growing celery, but freeze always
Injuries 1t more or less.
/ Those who grow the self-blanching
variety should. If possible, bank with
earth for the reasons mentioned
above, though it will blanch without
being banked. If the rows are close
together
The so-called self-blanching celeries
are all inclined to be somewhat
tough, unless either banker or protect
ed in some manner. Some people use
drain tile and some prefer to wraT
paper around the lunches.
have grown very nice celery o.
the Golden Self-Blanching sort with
out banking, using hay and leaves al
before mentioned, but when COLI
weather set In, the work of furnishing
additional protection took as mucl
! time as does the banking up process
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
PROPERLY PACKED
BUTTER SELLS BEST
Takes But Few Minutes More
Time ard Increases Price
When Selling to Merchant.
(ey w. Il. uNpERwoop1

When a farmers wife or daughter
has sufficient quantity of milk to be
able to sell some butter she ought by
all means to find out just what sort
OF butter people will pay the highest
price for. and how the same is packed
for sale. and comply with these con.
ditions. If they do so they win get all
it is worth.
On a Saturday not long since was
waiting in the store. several persons
brought In butter, and with the excep.
ton of that from two customers Tiny.
self and one other) it was all made in
round prints and wrapped In oil paper,
and some of the large rolls were also
wrapped in Oil-paper.
The clerk weighed a basket OF 8.
pound prints. and they tipped the
scale at 61z pounds only. asked him
what he paid and he said 20 cents.
tasted the butter. It was good
and the merchant would have been
glad to pay rs cents. the same as !
got. but he said he could not sell II
for more on account OF its mussy ap
paarance.
II each one of those persons would
pay $1.25 for a brick-shaped butter
mold that will make an exact pound:
so cents for roll of parchment pa
per tx inches wide. tear the paper
with the aid of a ruler into sheets az
inches long, dip these into cold water
and wrap each pound neatly, pacl
them neatly In a clean box lined will
white paper. | assure you they car
then get 25 cents pound for theil
butter and the gain in price will give
them a good many dollars to put into
their pockets.
It will not take ten minutes Longer
ON churning day to do this, and the
knowledge of putting first-class arti
Gle on the market in first-class condi
ton will repay in itself
It is not best to use the oiled paper
1t is impossible to handle the butter
without tearing it, and it makes the
BUTTE look any way but wells
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
some People Never Get over II

Some People Never Get Over II.
That funny looking old fellow over
there" he said as he and the girl sat
down on the stairs, makes me .hink
Of a disagreeable thing that happened
to me once when was living in Phila-
delphia. | was at a gathering some.
thing like this and was talking to a
stunning girl | had just met. Well,
among the guests was little chap
who looked for all the world like that
homely little runt, and got to making
funny cracks to her about him. After
she'd let me tie myself up in all kinds
OF knots she broke it to me gently
that the old party with the twisted
face was her-say, why are you look.
Ing at me in that funny way?"
Il was just wondering when you
would stop long enough to let me tell
you that you have been using my
grandfather and myself for invidious
comparisons.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
CBy ANNA aAL1GHER.)

(By ANNA GAI4IGHER.)
AS a rule, late celery makes more
growth during the fall months, after
the weather gets cool, than at any 9TH
err time. In hot, dry weather celery
needs a great deal of attention, for I'M
less the roots of the plant can be kept
cool and wet there will be no growth
to speak of.
For this reason as well as several
others, prefer to bank the rows with
earth as the plants grow. When
blanching by this method Is out Of
question. l mulch them with well
rotted manure out of the poultry
house, and then set broad boards on
edge several inches from the plants In
either side of the row and fill the
space around the plants with hay or
dry leaves.
l like to draw the earth up to the
plants as they grow, because in this
way one will have far more white
stalks than when the work of banking
Is done all at one time.
Some people suppose that no matter
INV ihTB6 luS DTduCuSS are, the BLdlKs
will all turn white after being banked
The truth is, stalk of celery that
has attained it's full size before the
blanching process begins will remain
green, while the heart of the bunch
which has grown in darkness will be
white.
Another reason why prefer to use
earth is that it protects celery from
the early freezes. And then If GOV
ering of dry leaves is put on top o.
the ridges, and weighted down to pre-
One year our celery was left in the
ground until after Christmas, and will
additional protection it would have
kept much longer.
Celery must have air to keep it from
rotting, therefore the tips Of tn,
branches should never be Kept GOV
cred over with earth. Anything tina
is dry and is easily removed, will hell
to keep out the frost, but dry leave
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
A Necessity.

1t was Sunday aud two small boys
were industriOusly digging in a va
cant lot, when a man who was pass
ing stopped to give them lecture.
Don't You know that it is sin to
dig on Sunday unless It be case of
necessity" asked the good man.
Yes, sir timidly replied one OF
the boys.
Then why don't ynu stop it?"
"Cause this is case of necessity"
replied the little philosopher. "a fell
Ter can't fish without bait. "-ArgoV
naut.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
ne Found Out.

Mr.. Pinchpenny had habit of get
ting professional services free when-
ever he needed them by working some
sort of a dodge or other. Not long
ago he met his doctor on the street.
DIR. GoodfelloM," he said. 81 know
a man who is suffering agonies from
neuralgia. At times 1t is SO bad he
simply bowls with the pain. What
would you do in that CASEY"
We'll, | don't know" was the doc
tors prompt reply. & suppose
should howl with pain. too
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

nervous / could not sleep, then would
be so tired mornings that | could scarcely
get around. 1t seemed almost impossi-
Bic to move or do bit Of work and /.
thought never would be any better un-
til / submitted to an operation. l COM
menced taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and soon felt like O.
new woman. had no pains, slept well,
had good appetite and was fat and
could do almost all my own work for O.
family of four. / shall always feel
that owe my good health to your med
icine. '--M Mrs. HAYWARD Sewers, Cary
Maine.
If you are i'll do not drag along until
an operation is necessary, but at once
take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
IF you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegeta--
BILE Compound will help you, write
to Lydia T.. Pinkham MedicineCOs
(cOnfidential) Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened
read and answered by q woman
and held in strict confidence
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
WHAT 1t Costs 10 Be = plo

He put his elbows on the table,
He ate potatoes with a knife;
He reached before the man beside him.
And, belched against the latter's wife.
He wiped his nose upon his napkin.
He "chonked" and stopped things here
and there.
He never thought OF those about him.
Or IL he did he didn't care.
Next day he sought to win promotion.
But failed, and cursed his sorry lot.
The man whose dinner he had ruined
Was master of the place he sought
Some men get in the trough and wallov.
Nor care what others think or say
There's nothing lost In having manners
And being decent by the way.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

Ho-men-ta is a syrup taken internally
for catarrh and headaches. Tastes.
good. Immediately opens air passages.
of head and lungs with soothing
healing sensation. One dose cures.
most headaches in 5 minutes Ho-
menta is a permanent cure for many
cases Of catarrh in head, throat and
stomach. Also cures bronchitis, tonsi-
litis, colds, coughs and Group. Re-
tailed by dealers. or sent by mail on
receipt of SOC stamps. Address New
York Drug Concern, New York.-Adv-
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
GOT HER CHICKEN TENDER
All Right for Mrs. Newlywed, But
1t Was Rather Rough on the
Butcher.

Mrs. Newlywed did not know much
about housekeeping and was always
cheated when she went to the nearby
butcher store after her supplies.
After a particularly tough bird had
been with difficulty disposed of she
went once more to the butcher and
said:
How many young chickens have
you today?"
The butcher said: II have but
three in the shop"
81 want two of the toughest you
have" said Mrs. Newlywed.
The butcher was. surprised, but
brought out two and assured her that
these were the toughest in the place.
Had them there for week or MORE
he said.
We'll" said the lady after much
thought, "I1l take the other one,
please&"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
The Business Hen.

Anything worth doing, is worth do
Ing well-the man who sees no money
in the hen on the farm, is the man
who considers her only as a scaven-
ger, a necessary evil, good enough to
turn the waste she finds into eggs
and flesh for the table, but too In
significant for him to NEEDLE with.
He's the man, too, who never keeps
accounts, who may wonder how the
wife manages to keep the table srp-
piled. but who never takes time to
think the matter out.
maj Ecnouns. vs.. .----z-.--.-..
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Not Full Vet.

1t was at country ball at which the
regular printed dance cards with the
dainty little pencil attached was be-
ing used for the first time, A young
fellow from the city, noticing that a
stout and not very attractive young
woman was being a good deal of a
wall flower, took pity on her and
said:
rs your program full?"
MY what?"
Your program"
After moments reflection, she
said.
mo. it is not. l amt ct but one
tce!"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
UnanswerabIe Argument.

The professor of shorthand in a
Boston business college adduced this
unanswerable argument in an address
to a new class the other day:
I'VE are told that it took Gray, au-
thor of the well known 'Elegy in a
Country Churchyard', seven years to
write that famous poem. If he had
known stenography he could have
done 1t in seven minutes. We have
graduates who have done that same
poem in that length of time."-Na,
tional Monthly.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Floored.

A grabbed old mlsogynist said to
the beautiful Ethel Barrymore at a
dinner in Bar Harbor:
Woman! Feminisml Suffrage!
Bah!-Why, there isn't woman alive
who wouldn't rather be beautiful than
intelligent"
That's because" said Miss Barry
more calmly, so many men are stu
pid, while SO few are blind"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
proner Eeed for Sheen.

Don't forget that while the ewes
are feeding their lambs. they are also
growing wool. The feed should be
abundant enough to supply both de-
mands, and keep the eve in good
health.
1t never pays to let a flock run
down in condition.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Finding Out.

Polly, saw that young man kiss
you: how did It happen?"
I'm the most natural way In the
world. mother, He asked me If
would be offended if he kissed me, and
/ told him 1t was impossible for me
to say until knew what 1t was like"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Excellent for Swine.

Slack coal and wood ashes, two
parts; slack lime and salt. one part;
place in a self-feeder under a shed,
and the hogs win need no coaxing to
eat 1t when they find where It Is. A
self-feeder can be made out of a box.
This can also be fed on the ground
but during rainy weather much Of It
is wasted.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Low Cost of Living in
Regular Amy
BY William II. Marshal. Chicago .

constantly complaining about the high cost of living should study the
system in vogue in the United States army
The American soldier lives respects better than the
aborng He is allowed butter jam and milk The government
gives him the best beef that purchased and he good fresh
vegetables This all
soldiers allowed either chicken turkey.
The American soldier does find fault with the food
but what he does better cooking There schools
this country Each year large number soldiers given
How to handle the raion vary the bill of
time make saving the food allowance Of the
that is taught the army cooks.
The department publishes cook book that supplied each
company the The book
that collected old army Nothing
army ration used in the recipes.
would be good idea for the issue these cook books
general public for they would greatly help the average housewife
in cutting down her expenses.
The English of Harvard university students criticised.
Boston, the outraged cherhng split
very midst.
1t is reported hotels going abolish finger
bowls because they embaa the guests Besides people who drink
of finger bowls taking long chance with germs.
among the beneacOrs of the tho who nVens pain
'ssEat -fsGfzGs eSsunEh aAf a9s6
4ar
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

The United States allows
21.53 cents a day to each
soldier in the army for food.
Out of this amount the SOL
diers live we'll and save
enough money to buy many
extras. Many persons who
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Trouble In the cnmnan.

7 hold" said Macready B. Stormer.
that acting is one of the 'noblest pro.
fessions in the world"
4 agree with you" replied the SOU
brette. Why don't you try to learn
1T"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Feed While Milking.

Feeding the cows while milking
need not be any disadvantage to the
quality of the milk produced. provided
the right kind OF feed and the right
sort of pail are used and it frequently
has quieting effect on the COW.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
ProbIem Tor MathematIeIans.

DR.. Wiley says that four-year.old
whiskey can be made in forty seconds.
Figure from this how long it takes
to make new whiskey. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Poor CHARITY

Some men think whenever they give
q dollar to charity that the recording
angel ought to get busy at once and
figure up the compound interest ON
it. 80 that 1t can be Immediately
placed to their credit.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Revised.

81 can't live without you, Miss Nil
lions" fervently declared the Count
Don't you mean, Count she re.
piled. that you cannot live as you'd
like 70 without me?n
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

GyQl2 Il. ElnkndAn .
Vegetable Com
pound did for me.
One year ago / found
myself a terrible suf-
ferer. / had pains
in b 9th sides and
such a soreness I
could scarcely
straigh ten up at
times. MY b ack
aehed, ! had no APP
petite and was 80
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
On the Other Hand.

Wife tcomplainingly)- "The Will
tingsons' house is much larger than
ours" Husband-"Yes, my dear, and
SO is their mortgage -Boston Tran.
script.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

The answer to the cues
ton whether we. attempt to
teach too many subjects de-
ponds upon what we demand
of our schools. In the ed
ucational world there are
two groups: First. those
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
That's Where.

"oh, where are the girls Of yester-
year?"
Sighed the sentimental mutt.
They're mending the hose o. the
girls of today
Answered the neurotic nut.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Frequent Error.

Broke again?'
yes"
q thought you were on the road to-
riches"
Il was, but tried to take short
CUT
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

When a man disgraces himself his
first thought Ia not one of regret for
his own shame, but of what the world
will think.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

Some girls seem to think they are
not getting their moneys worth If
they fail to get engaged seven or
eight times before they get married.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

In addition to tempting Eve. Satan
probably introduced money into the
Garden of Eden.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21
Avoid Fall Rains.

Unless you want your sheep TO.
shuttle all winter keep them in out
Of the fall rains.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

People have died for love that would
have made them miserable If they
could have had 1t.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

One of the differences between the
measles and the eccentricities Of
genius is that the latter are not nee
essarily fatal If they strike in.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1913-11-21

1t has been a matter Of
wonder with me for some
time that young women are
easily moved to mirth (and
some to hysteries) by the
feeble witticisms Of the av-
erage young man. Very