New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-11
AS | WAS SAYING

At last something believable What with whop-
pcrs from the Balkan governments fiction from ,he
correspondents and eyewitness shockers written
right here i'm New York have had our doubts
bout the war.
Why should allied armies mpale themselves on
one another's bayonets If their sole aim We're 10
wind up in hospital? Sounded fshy. The motive
appeared inadequate-even grotesque, not to say
fanatical.
But all is made clear by this ethergram from the
beautiful and afectionate Miss Isadora Duncan:
yes. il is true | am nursing the wounded. |
dance gracefully from cot to cot consoins the poor'
bullet -ridded Servians Greeks and Bulgarians'
while living quietly at my villa near Paris
II yol have not read of this in the papers you
soon will II has occurred once or twice already as
her portrait helps fill space, and is exceedingly dec
orative.
We cannot keep up with the ancents Here, for
instance comes our favorte funny paper, with a
long drawn humorosty Powder WITTY!
Learned? Ingenious? Oh. yes. for a latter-day
frolic But the ancients outdd it, quite.
open your Guffantius. Turn to Book IN, lines
743 and IA and see how jokes we're cracked when
the world wore rompers. Nothing long drawn about
Old man Gufantius though he makes all the points
that reappear much elaborated and good deal
blunted in our favoritc funny paper. Allow us to
translate:
Tessia: Il want pound of powder
Unedius Face, gun, or bug?'
SAYS Life: "A woman in the kitchen is worth
two in the polling booth" SO? If Life speaks
from experience advise the little rascal TO keep
an eye on that treasure in his kitchen We are in a
desperate mood
which is the worst summer resort. and whyT
As we were carefully brought up we hate TO name
that abode Of the wicked but do not hesitate to ex-
plain our aversion to H. From June 20 September
its climate is little better than New York's.
The ballooning fever is spreading. Any day now
l. may get you and you know how the game ends
\ slight tremor. sniff or two OF gas patch OF
blue sky visible right through your balloon, and a
planet suddenly jumping up at YOU. Naturally peo-
pie have become somewhat curious TO know how
this feels and many seem anxious TO try the
ton at first hand.
Don't. Young Mr.. Gay went through IT recently,
and his account agrees with Mr.. Augustus Posts
II you are a good New Yorker you will be consider
ably disappointed, the emotion is quite devoid Of
novelty You feel busy.
This time it is a German who crowns himself king
Of the wireless world. and by all accounts he has
quite outshone the Italian inventor. But where do
We Yankees come in? Why. bless you, came in
al the very start. Thereby hangs a tale.
out Of reverence for a charming professor now
gone to his reward. name names. yet history
will credit him with sending Marcongrams when
Marconi still teethns. Oh, hapless professor
Whenever he approached capitalists they summoned
experts Invariably the experts reported There is
something in 1.-THE deuce knows what,-for the
messages go We have watched them. The con-
trlvance works. But. gentlemen, We warn you
against that crack Drained old dreamer Contrary
10 all laws of physics, he says his messages go by
way of the ground. Impossible"
Now. the capitalist is the most scary Of all the
beasts Of the field and nobody would invest in the
professor, and along came Marcon with practically
the same apparatus. plus right explanation. and
nabbed the glory. the cash and the fun. Still, we
beg you not to laugh at the old professor. His was
a wengh universal failing, though we and thee are
Of course exceptions. He had merely got his philos~
ophy upside down.
Every day hear Of and additional police
women. but walt till 1t begins to affect the feet and
the waist measure!
The IEsthetic Person, always sporty when roused
has now peculiarly devilish diversion Goes about
whispering: ITS shocking thing TO say, but really
there's art the movies" Which there certainly is
Indeed the movies have certain marked advantages
over the sacred and awesome "egIt." In stage
management, for instance.
In the ordinary theatre, coaching from the side
lines during play is simply out of the question
The audience would hear the stage managers roars
and lamentations and faint in their seats Not so
when the photo-play is being performed. The occa-
sion has all the sweet nformality of rehearsal fer
the is deaf to the coaching. This favors art
At the critical moment a stage manager can encour-
age actress out loud, employing the tactful nc
monitions he keeps always in readiness-such for
instance Damn you, darling! Smile!"
r. l.. II.