davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Worn-Out Flags Destroyed by the Government

XXYORN.OUT national flags used by
w the United States government in
the army and navy, on public build
ings, etc, never become mere pieces
Of waste a The government sets
an example for the whole country by
requiring that worn-out flags shall be
burned. Whether or not any special
regulation covers the disposition of
old flags, the universal practice of the
army and navy whenever a flag Is no
longer fit for service is that it shall
be destroyed.
When a flag used at an army post or
on a naval vessel Is no longer service
able, requisition Of the quartermaster
is made for a new one and the old one
is burned. The same disposition Is
made of flags from public buildings.
Whether or not ~custodians Of build
ings outside of Washington follow the
official plan Of destroying flags is not
known.
Flags borne in battle are invariably
preserved, either by the commands
which carried them, or, under instruc-
lions by the war department, by the
government at Washington. A whole
roomful Of battle flags is on exhibition
at the war department, and it will be
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. is dead
w again. And buried. His fu-
neral obsequies were in classic keep
ing with his standing as the hand
soonest god in the NEUROLOGICAL output
though, incidentally, it was his
standing that caused his downfall
and he now lies under the campus
grass Of a gray stone college out
Brooklyn way, with spring blossoms
on his grave. =
A tragedy, filtered through hearsay
channels, Is apt to be diluted in it's
facts, and watered as to poignant de-
tails, but even the weakened favor
Of the incident is worthy a sip, be-
cause Apollo is always interesting
to say nothing of pretty girls.
The students gave a Latin play at
the college a little while ago., and
a statue of Apollo, OF a pedestal,
cleaned white and classic in one cor.
ner of the dramatic atmosphere. Ap,
~parently, he was as safe from harm
as his original in the belvedere of the
Vatican museum, but you car
tell! Most anything is liable to hap
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
WHILE THERE WAS YET TIME
Mean Man Made His Suggestion and
Departed in Some Haste From
Meeting Of Indignant Women.

With tense, eager faces, the great
audience of women leaned forward in
their seats. eagerly drinking In the
noted speakers every word.
Mere man." she was saying. is
wont to belittle woman's ability to en-
ter the fields already usurped by him.
AS a matter of fact, she is capable OF
filling any post of public or private
office now held by man, and, II ap-
pointed to it, could even perform
mans tasks with greater faithfulness
and greater daring.
Name, If you can, one post for
which she cannot fit herself! Name
one Office to which she would not,
could not, give the greatest measure
of %capability, the highest-degree of
courage, the"
A mere man, who had slipped un
noticed into a back seat, rose at this
point, and the light of sudden inspira'
ton cleaned in his eye.
RAT catcher" he shouted. And
then he fed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Apollo Is Dead Again; OverzeaI Was the Cause

pen in the danger ole of an amateur
play.
The tragedy. according to the hear
say version, was caused by a student
player whose overzeal to voice her
share OF dead language with a full al
lowance of h~istronic emphasis led her
to butt into Apollo's pedestal. And
anybody who has ever owned a
statue on a pedestal can guess the
rest.
After the play the students decided
that having killed" Apollo they
should bury him in state. So they
made themselves into a procession
of white-robed mourners. They chant
ed a dirge. And they carried gar
lands of woody blossoms. And after
the ~handsomest of the II great gods
had been inferred with rust-right cere-
monies under the campus grass the
white-robed ones scattered flowers
over him and chanted some more.
Whe- the rites were ended and the
mourners had got back to their
schoolgirl selves they Clipped in with
their pocket allowance to pay for
the statue they had broken. And
that's all there was to it, except
that
II Apollo could have had a say In
the matter he would doubtless OBJ
serve that he would rather be under
the college campus with fiocks Of
innocently joyous schoolgirls to scat
ter flowers over his smashed bits thar
to stand, a perfect whole. in the spot
light of the Vatican's belvidere.
Anybody would.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
RASH SPREAD TO ARMS

759 Roach Ave, Indianapolis, Ind
AT first I noticed small eruptions on
my face. The trouble began as a rash.
1t looked like red pimples. In a few
days they spread to my arms and back.
They itched and burned SO badly that
l scratched them and of course the re-
suit was blood and matter. The erup.
tons festered, broke, opened and dried
up, leaving the skin dry and scaly. l
spent many sleepless nights, my back,
arms and face burning and itching;
sleep was purely and simply out Of
the question. The trouble also caused
Disagreement. My clothing irritated
the breaking out. Nas
by this time I had used several
well-known remedies without success.
The trouble continued. Then l began
to use the sample Of Cuticura Soap
and Ointment. Within seven or eight
days I noticed gratifying results. ]
purchased a full-sized cake Of Cuti'
cura Soap and a box of Cuticura Oint
ment and in about eighteen or twenty
days my cure was complete" (Signed)
Miss Katherine McCallister, Apr. 70
1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample Of each
free, with SIP. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept L. Boston
Adv,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
1000 SETTLERS A DAY
WESTERN CANADA MAKING RE.
MARKA5LE PROGRESS.

Settlers from the United Kingdom
and other countries of Europe landed
in Winnipeg last week at the rate of
one thousand a day. The predicted
boom in the populating of the prairie
provinces this spring has material
lied, as it did last year, and today the
busiest city in America is probably
the Manitoba metropolis.
The sturdy nations of Europe are
all contributing to the rapid growth
Of Canada West. Two of the largest
contingents reaching Winnipeg last
week were from Germany and Scan
dinavia.
The British Isles are sending out
larger contingents than ever before.
The old land newspapers are filed
with accounts Of send-offs and fare
wells being given to popular towns
folk on the w Of departure for Can
ada.
Numerous editorials record the SEN
timents, bordering on despair, of the
Britons who see their towns and viii
lagos d~esolated by the desertion Of
favorite sons and daughters. We can
sympathize with those left behind
while felicitating the young people
who have their own way to make in
the world, on their new opportunities
in the country of mammoth crops.
Scotland lost 5000, of her best
blood and Drawn in a single week this
month. No wonder the young, aspir'
ing Scots take so quickly to Canada.
They have been reading of the tri'
umphs and wonder working of Scot
fish pioneers in the Dominion ever
since they we're BARNS" A great
part of Canada's success was wrought
by Canadians from Caledonia, and the
young Caledonians of today are eager
to demonstrate that they a do al
well out west as their forebears.
In addition to those from the oil
countries, the United States still
keeps up in a strenuous manner, ant
is sending its thousands into that new
country of the north. They take III
the free homesteads Of 100 acres Oh
which they live for six months o
each year for three years, and the1
get a deed or patent for a farm tina
is worth anywhere from SIS to 81
per acre, or, they may purchase land
at from SIS to $1S per acre that vii
yield with proper care in cultivation
excellent returns for the time, wor
and money Observation-Disclosures
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

THERE are two William Murrays in
! the house of Representatives, and
each one is known among familiars as
"BilP' Murray.
One is Alfalfa Bill Murray of Ok
lahoma, and the other is Boston Bill"
Murray from the Hub. Each n is
famous.
Now, the mail at the house of rep
resentatives post Office these days is
cluttered and jammed with letters
from constituents, protesting, clamor-
ing, arguing about some feature of the
tariff. The postal clerks had a hard
time getting the letters for the two
Murrays separated, and Alfalfa Bill
was getting a lot of Boston Bilrs
mail, and vice versa.
Finally the postmaster hit upon the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22


The following story is n OF John
Drew's favorites:
A man lost his life in a great flood.
He was dead, but in the spirit world
he lived over and over again the ap-
palling scenes and incidents through
which he had just passed. 1t seemed
to him that he must talk it owe with
some one.
He therefore approached an elderly
man and told him the story Of how
he died, giving a vivid word picture
and making a lurid tale. TO his great
surprise, the old man showed little
interest; in fact, he appeared to be
bored. At last, being rather annoyed
at such Indifference, he asked the
reason.
Don't you know who l ann" asked
the other.
why, no, l don't" was the answer
1--WE only just arrived"
WELL" said the other, Il am Noah
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
HUBBY WAS LEFT GUESSING
And at This Date He Still is Wonder
ing Just Who Mas the unklssed
Female.

Mr.. Brown issued forth from Fair
bank Terrace and wended his way
toward the village inn. An insurance
agent named Dawson was holding
forth.
do you know Fairbank T~errace?"
Several nodded assent, and Mr..
Brown became more deeply interested.
We'll, believe me. gents, I've kissed
every woman in that terrace except
one"
Mr.. Browns face assumed a purple
hue, and hurriedly quaffing his ale ne
Quilted the barroom. Rushing home,
he burst in at the door.
Mary" he shouted, do you know
that insurance chap. Dawson?" Mary
nodded assent. WELL" he continued,
"I've just heard him say he's kissed
every in this terrace except
one"
Mary was silent for a moment. and
then with a look Of womanly curios
ity said:
Il wonder which one that is?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Two "BiY Mrsrays, Each With the "Hon." Prefix

plan of sending all mail postmarked
from Oklahoma to Alfalfa Bill Muir
ray, and all Massachusetts mail to
Boston Bill Murray, and to take a
chance on any scattering stuff.
The other day a letter arrived ad-
dressed to Hon. William Murray"
and it bore a postmark from a town
in Oklahoma. 1t was sent to Alfalfa
Bill, and when he opened 1t he saw
it was meant for his Boston friend,
1t happened to be written by a for
mer Bostonese who had moved tc
Oklahoma.
Alfalfa Bill sent the letter to Bos
ton Bill in one Of his new envelopes
marked for Mr.. Murray of Massachu
sets, but simply because the letter
bore Alfalfa Bills frank, back it came
to the Oklahoma Murray.
Then Alfalfa Bill went personally
to his Boston namesake.
Look here" he said, my name /!
William Fl. and yours Is William F
Why not inform our constituents o.
the difficulty and get these things
straight"
NO." said Boston Bill, II have {
better plan. I'll take credit for al
the good things you do and blame yol
for all the bad things l do"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
How townsend interviewed VIM. K. Vanderbilt
rpprsENTATTyE TOWNSEND

N REPRESENTATIVE TOWNSEND
II Of Michigan, author of "Chimmie
Fadden." served his apprenticeship on
4 New York newspaper. Mr.. Town
send says that it was hearing a newsie
sav. "Aw. wat tell" that gave him the
inspiration for "Chimmie Fadden."
with much relish the New York
congressman told q group Of newspa-
ner men at the Press club about his
first assignment. 4.
"The city editor called me and told
me to 20 to William X. Vanderbilt's
house and get an interview. With a
gulp In my throat ! listened as he
rasped out the questions ! was to ask
the New York millionaire.
Somehow or other finally found
myself at the door Of the Vanderbilt
mansion, and in q cold Precipitation
rang the bell. A tall, Signifed man
with great English sidewhiskers
opened the door.
"tGood evening" Mr.. Vanderbilt !
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Generous Reformer.

Miss Augusta De Peyster is a
charming young lady of Knicker-
booker descent who does noble mis-
sionary work among New York's float
ing sailor population.
Miss De Peyster's work is unique In
that she believes in helping the sailor,
no matter how prodigal or dissipated
or nonconforming he may be. She
also believes in a very generous, very
liberal type Of charity.
Often her views are expressed in
epigram, as:
Don't scold a r%eprobats, for men
are like eggs-left in hot water they
harden"
Or again:
"As long as virtue is its own re
ward, 1t is apt to be spasmodic."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

recalled that n of the most striking
of the mural paintings which decorate
the statehouse at Boston depicts the
return Of the battle flags by the Union
soldiers in 1865 to Gov. John A. An.
drew.
The fag-making plant of the navy is
at the Brooklyn navy yard, where
some 80 women are employed. The
bunting comes from Massachusetts,
and every case costs the government
$3.50, or SLIPS a roll. Every piece
must weight five pounds to every 40
yards and stand a weight test of 70
pounds to two square inches. 1t is
STEPPED in salt water for six hours and
then exposed to the sun for another
six hours. If strength and color hold
the fabric Is then pronounced fit for
service.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
German Princes wanderjahr.

The prince of Wales might possibly
enjoy his German trip still better II
he could view the country in the un.
conventional way followed by the
German crown prince and his broth.
ers. Like all the Hohenzollerns. the
kaiser's sons were taught trades, and
their father also allowed them to taste
the delights of the "wanderjahr,"
which still forms part Of the education
Of most German artisans.
In the case Of the young princes
the rear was split up over several sue
cessive summer holidays, which they
spent tramping through Germany,
~knacksack on back, and sleeping at
roadside inns. They travelled without
a servant, accompanied only by their
military governor, Colonel o Fallen
heyn, and were scarcely ever r-cog
niZed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
How 70 Acquire More Self Control.

To acquire more self control and
confidence perhaps the best step is to
make yourself face disagreeable tasks
with courage.
Do not be easily routed when you
have determined on a course of action.
Perhaps the most ~disagreeable thing
one meets In the course of a business
day is the occasion for tactful yielding
what one desires to say to be agree
able to people who do not appeal to us,
to give a pleasant answer when we
are more inclined to give a curt one
in brief, to act according to the die
tates of conscience on any and every
occasion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

we'll and hearty and weigh about
200 pounds. / feel very grateful that
| found Dodds Kidney Pills and you
may publish this letter II you wish. l
am serving my third term as Probate
Judge Of Gray Co. Yours truly,
PHILIP MILLER, Cimarron, Kan.
Correspond with Judge Miller about
this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills, SOC. per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
ci2es for dainty dishes. All 8 sent free.
Adv
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

~
my breath was
short and l had
chills and back
ache. / took the
pills, about a year
ago and have had
no return of the
palpitations. Am
now So years old,
able to do lots of
manual labor, am
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Father Time is not always a hard
parent, and, though he tarries for
none of his children, often lays his
hand lightly upon those who have
used him we'll, making them old men
and women inexorably enough, but
leaving their hearts and spirits young
and in full vigor. With such people
the gray head is but the impression
of the old fellows hand in giving
them his blessing, and every wrinkle
but a notch in the quiet calendar
of a well-spent life.-From Barnaby
Rudge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

began. I came up from the newspaper
office to ask you what you would do
in case we declared war with Canada
and l continued with the questions
which the city editor had hurled at me.
Looking me straight In the eye,
which only added to my discontinue,
the man waited until | had somehow
or other faltered through. Then he
said. frigidly:
"Mr. Vanderbilt is bout. Him the
butler. Good night"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
scientific Point Cleared Up.

A German astronomer has published
a series OF tables which g to show
a connection between the appearance
OF sun spots and the wabbling motion
Of the earth on its axis, due, perhaps.
to a variation in the suns magnetism.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Need of Sun and Air.

"A certain morbidness among girls
and women, which rests 30 heavily on
modern life," Is due to lack of sun, air
and sunshine, according to Professor
Manjon of Nice.
~"Sun-bathing, air-bathing and fire.
quent physical exercise In loose gar
ments, are indispensable to good
health and good temperament In WON
en-" declared the lecturer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Electricity and Plant Lie.

The theory has been advanced and
backed up by experiments which are
at least interesting, that pointed
leaves standing up at the top Of grow
ing plants attract electricity from the
atmosphere and that such electric
forces aid materially in the growth OF
plants so equipped by nature. One in
vestigator, R. E. Dimick Of Almena,
Wis, reports that vegetables which
were we'll cultivated have shown a
smaller growth than the normal when
they had pointed wires stuck UP
among them to act like lightning rods
in drawing off the electricity which
Mr.. Dimick believes to be attracted
by points and .needful to plant life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Hunts Hares With Auto.

Sport In a new form now appeals to
a New Zealand farmer. Driving in a
motor car with two powerful head
lights, he bags nightly between six
and a dozen hares, the animals being
so fascinated by the glare of the
lamps that they become stationary
targets.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Retort Courteous.

Wouldn't 1t be nice II we could
have our brains cleaned out now and
them"
you would have to have yours
done with q cleaner"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Bears the
No Wonder.

why did you order that we'll
dressed lady out of the store?"
"She's a well-known kleptomaniac."
did she take anything here?"
"She took umbrage."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
hIa sort.

What particular drink would you
recommend for a golf player?"
Il should suggest some brands Of
teas"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Gould you call a dogs chasing of
his tail an economic pursuit."
II don't see how"
Isn't he trying to make both ends
meet?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Love may laugh at the loeksmith.
but it will refuse 10 smile owe a lock
of the wrong woman's hair. ?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teethinR, softens the gums, reduces infamma-
tor, ailays pair, cures wind colic,2Sc q bottleAM
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
JUDGE CURED, HEART TROUBLE

l took about 6 boxes Of Dodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which l had suffered for 5 years. l
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

LEWIS SINGLE BINDER is the best
quality. and best selling Sc cigar on the
lsarket. Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

"Worth mountains Of gold" says one woman. Another
Compound for all the other medicines for women in the
world" Still another writes, 81 should like to have the
on the sky with searchlights so that all suffering women could
read and be convinced that there is a remedy for their ills"
We could fill a newspaper ten times the size of this with such quo
tatons taken from the letters we have received from grateful women
whose health has been restored ard suffering banished by Lydia Z.
Pinkhams Vegetable Compound.
Why has Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound accomplished
such universal success? Why has it lived and thrived and kept Oh
doing its glorious work among the sick women OF the world for more
than 80 years?
other medicine has ever approached its success is plainly an SIM
py because there is no other medicine so good for womens Ills.
Here are two letters that just came to the writer's desk-only two
of thousands, but both tell a comforting story to every suffering Wo-
man who will read them-and be guided by them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
Not a Bad Case.

$50 that is your a%vuncular rela-
ton"
He was, but the new doctor we
got, cured him"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Many a man merely stubs his toe
when he tries to put his best foot for
ward.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

II we had our lives to live over, 1t
would enable us to make our mistakes
easier.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

1t has been considered smart to
sneer at weather prophets, ever since
the days Of Noah.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

Everybody seems to know when a
fellow lie in love, ven before he sue-
poets 1t himself.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22
TRUTHS THAT MAY HURT.

II you are going to combine bust
. and pleasure, be sure you don't
lose the combination.
In getting to the top every man
must be his own elevator.
Many a man aims high Who 10 q
mighty poor marksman.
IT'S all right to take time by the
,orelock, but don't tell your troubles
before they happen.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

GRADUATED EYELIDS CURED
The worst cases, no matter of how long standing
are cured by the wonderful, old reliable DR.. Porters
Antiseptic Healing Oil. Relieves pain and heals at
the same time. 25c, Soc, Sl.00.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-22

The man who stands on his dignity
never gets so tired as he makes other
people.