davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1913-06-12

FOR SALE--A two-story house built
In 1910, In Skowhegan, situated on
North St. one mile from village; five
rooms, all newly papered and painted.
Good location; water in house. good
cellar; two acres of land; good. kind
neighbors To be sold at reasonable
price. For information call on the
premises of Mrs. Darius Barnes, Skow-
hogan Me. 4w22-
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1913-06-12

WILL BUY Low PRICED HORSE
or take one to use for his keeping
Also want secondhand harness and
wagon. XRM, care Independent Re
porter. tfZI
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1913-06-12

MOTOR BOAT FOR SALE-A1 con-
ditlon. Good as new, Must be sold
at once. Parties going away. Miss
Frances Mitchell Madison, Me. clio
Great Northern Paper Co. 3w22
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1913-06-12
TENEMENT TO RENT

TENEMENT TO Rents rooms. To-
cat ed on the electric ear line. three
miles from Skowhegan, opposite the
kilcare Farm. JOS. Butler r. f. u.
No. 5. tt23
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1913-06-12
BUCKwHEAT SEED (silver

Tor sale. 81 a bnsheI. Raised last
year Yield 40 bushels to the acre.
f. L. Moody r. F. d. No. 3 4w22"
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22
A HUMOROUS SHORT STORY COMPLETES


This way, sir, If you will haf the
gootness'
He took me into back shop and
showed me a score OF portraits.
Something cheap" I said. sternly.
'There-the cheapest line I haf,"
said the dealer.
Two hundred dollars the pair-at-
tributed to Sir Joshua Reynolds-the
frames alone are worth the money
looked at the picture approvingly.
One was plump bishop with a huge
wig on his head and the volume of
sermons under his arm. In the dis
tance figure which represented
either infidelity or delirium tremens
was shrinking away-obviously from
the sermons. The other was a plump
lady of ferocious aspect. I thought
that the bishop would suit my wife,
who is great church worker.
Give you $780, I said. half jok-
ingly.
"Done." said the dealer, with won
derful aiacrity.
He took my cheque without demur.
Evidently he thought that man
fool enough to buy the portraits
could not be rogue enough to work
off bogus cheque~on him. I took the
pictures home in a taxi and said to
my wife, ALLOW me TO introduce you
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22

there Is photograph of great aunt
of mine in a crinoline. which would
look superb IL enlarged
she rubbed the admiral into me
till 1 could have boxed her ears" con-
tinued my wife, ignoring my great
aunt suggestion. and they are COM
ing to dinner with US in fortnight" !"
MY dear" said. II can't call back
my ancestors from another and Il
hope) better world to have them
painted for the annihilation of Mrs.
Berkeley Smith"
But we could buy some portraits.
surely. Who would know?"
VERY SAD
put the matter aside, but for some
days my wife walked the house with
a melancholy air She would look UP
at our pictures and sigh, and knew
that sooner or later ancestral por-
traits would have to come
One day 1t commenced to rain heav-
lily just as / was outside an antique
shop. I dived IN, intending to use the
shop as an umbrella.
what can haf the pleazure OF
showing your said an elderly gentle
man with a fine Teutonic accent.
] remembered at once. Got any
old portraits?" / asked
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22
Our Bishop
.

WYE had dined with the Berkeley
M Smiths, and / could see at
a glance as we went home
that something had gone wrong. Yet
so far as the eye of man could Judge
my wife was better dressed and bet
ter looking than Mrs Berkley- Smith.
The dinner had been nothing out of
the way. their silver was but ordi-
nary, they only had three servants
eve beat them by a scullery maid),
and our front garden was at least
two strides longer. I admit that Mrs.
Berkley- Smiths complexion was a
much more expensive one to keep
up than my wifes. So to check any
unnecessary and expensive resort to
beauty doctors. 1 automatically re-
marked. "Awfully made up. wasn't
she?y
"oh. it was painful" said my wife
with a sigh.
I did not like the sigh. 1 knew
there was something coming.
Did you see those old family por-
traits Of Admiral Berkeley and his
wife?9'
"spoilt the dining room." 1 replied
promptly.
Il do wish we had some ancestral
portraits" said my wife sadly.
I'm sorry my ancestors were SO
beastly neglectful.' answered. Still,
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22

to your eat-grandfather and great
grandmother. They are yours, mind,
not mine. I'll repudiate them as my
ancestors
The melancholy passed away In
an Incredibly short time my wife
would relate anecdotes about her
great grandfather.
THE DINNER
And then the Berkley- Smiths came
to dinner.
Mrs. Berkley- Smith admired the
pictures at once and said she would
have known them anywhere as my
wife's relations. There was a some
thing about the bishops nose. This
was a little cruel as the Episcopal
nose. being red and a trifie bulbous.
was not the bishops strong point.
STILL my wife seemed satisfied. and
explained that IL the poor bishop had
lived a little longer he would cer-
tainly have been an archbishop.
However, Berkeley Smith seemed to
be in highly jovial spirits ell through
dinner. We were scarcely left alone
to smoke when he turned to the
bishop and said: "Old man. what
did that rascal Myers charge you for
him2'
MY dear fellow. protested.
those portraits have been 'in my
wife's family $50 years"
"Old man." he responded, 'Tve sat
opposite that old cock at dinner till /
got sick OF the sight Of him and
! banged an orange at him. You can
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22

see the dent 1t made Just below his
sermons. Now, as a pal what did
Myers charge you for the pair?'
One hundred and fifty dollars" /
admitted.
The old thief--he charged me $500
and only allowed me 500 when I
swapped them for the admiral and
his wife. couldn't stick the bishop
in our house any longer. So when
we moved to Chick1ewood we made a
fresh start with the navy"
will your wife talk?" said in
agony
"Talk-rm a sport. I'll tell her
you know about the admiral-that
viii stop her tongue
SO the bishop still looks benevolent
ly down on me when / dine. But /
do wish that when I want to go golf
ing on Sunday my wife would not look
sorrowfully up a. the bishop and
shake her head As a free American
cannot allow my wife's great
grandfather by adoption to interfere
with my habits.
A special preacher about TO ascend
the pulpit In country church. was
asked II he would like any particular
hymn to be sung to agree with his
sermon.
mo, no." he replied. 'iAs a matter
Of fact, I hardly ever know what |
am going TO say until I arrive In
the pulpit"
"Oh, well, in that case" said the
vicar. we had better have the hymn
for those at see. -
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22
JOKES

Two physicians. who met for the
first time at reception, were already
well known to each other by reputa-
tfon, although each advocated a spe-
cial treatment of which the other dis
approved. Said one loftily, as he
shook the other by the hand. II am
glad to meet you as a gentleman. sir,
though I can't admit that you are a
physician"
And l." said the other. smiling,
"am glad TO meet you as a physician.
though can't admit that you arc a
gentlemani"
Sportsman-Did you ever see such
atrocious luck? That's the fifteenth
bird I've missed today.
Old Gamekeeper-No. sir; I think
you're wrong. It's she same bird
you've been firing at all along. The
artful old beggar's been hanging
around you for safety's sake.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22
HOW TO REGUATE IT
(yize} o.

Knieker-Think the Stock exchange
should be regulated?
Bocker-Yes, it should be arranged
for stocks to go up when you buy and
go down when you sell.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22
Tomorrow
A Great Sensational Film
COULDN'T RESIST
Copyright. 1918, international News ser-lce)

Examining gistrate-Madam, you
persistently deny that you committed
this act, though the description Of
the culprit fits you exactly-beautiful
face and figure; extremely youthful
appearance. most attractive
The Defendant-Your honor. con-
Sess all-yes, It was II
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-22

MY young mans real gent" said
Liza. of Shoreditch: The never blows
his soup like a common person: he
always fans II with his hat
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
FEW WHITES ARE ELIGIBLE.
Not Many Have stood the Civil Ser
vice Test.

Washington, April Ex-senator
Tillman has just discovered that there
are so few white men from South Car
olina taking the civil service examina-
ment service at Washington that there
are practically no whites on the
eligible list.
There are many negroes to be found
on the list and as the places have to
be filled they are given to the negroes
He is helpless, under the law, to
prevent their appointment and sug-
gests to mis- fellow citizens who want
government places in Washington
tina: they should take the civil service
examinations and get their names on
the eligible list as the negroes have
been doing.
That Is the only way a government
place can be secured, unless the civil
service law is changed.
Il believe" Senator Tillman said
today that under a Democratic ad-
ministration fairness will be used in
selecting men for clerkships and
white people from the South will be
gwen fair chance at least, which has
not been the case heretofore"
All letters applying for information,
blanks and permission To stand the ex-
the civil service commission, Wash
ington.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03

Rome. April 3o.--It Is considered
here that the last hope of avoiding
the gravest complications In the Bal
Kan situation lies In the meeting OF
ambassadors I'm London tomorrow.
when the question OF united action by
the powers Is expected to- be decided.
The general fear In Rome is that
Great Britain. France and Russia. not
because they desire discord. but be-
cause they do not wish to back Aus
tra In immediate action against
Montenegro. may procrastinate, thus
forcing the isolation OF Austria.
In such case. Italy. for the protec-
tion Of her own interests. will almost
certainly intervene to insure order
In Albania and enforce there the de-
cisions of Europe.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
NO DEVELOPMENTS IN BALKANS.
Montenegro and Austria Are Making
Prearations for War.

London, April 30.-The Balkan
question showed no development here
today. The Austrian ambassador had
n prolonged conference with Sir Ed
ward Grey. secretary for foreign af-
fairs. who was also consulted by the
Russian ambassador.
A Constantinople dispatch says that
the porte has ordered Essad Pasha to
disarm and disband his native troops
and send the regulars to Beirut.
Both Austria and Montenegro. ac-
eording to Vienna advices. are con-
tinuing their military preparations.
Montenegro has dispatched 5000
troops drawn from scutari toward
the Austrian frontier and has mount
ed heavy guns above Cattaro. Great
ministerial and diplomatic activity
prevails In Vienna. where council of
war was heid at the foreign Office
this evening.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
Not Included.
Washington Star.

Washington Star.
Mr. Smith is. a respectable gentle
man, who, though he has been mar
ried several years, has not yet lost his
admiration for a pretty girl Having
occasion to remove from his present
abode he was recently looking for a
suitable house, and discovered one To
let in a quiet street. Upon ringing the
bell very piquant and lovely Irish
girl came to the door, looking quite
charming in her black dress and mob
cap.
"Is this house to let?" asked Mr..
Smith.
Yes"
Are You to be let with it," he said
with bland smile.
mo sir" answered the maid, very
dcmurely, II am to be let alonem'
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
PENSIONS FOR OLD AGE.
Kelly Introduces Bill to Provide for
All those Over 85.


Washington, April 2S-The Pro-
gressive old age pension bill, to
provide 81 to 81 n week for all those
more than SO years old whose incomes
are under $40 a week. was introduced
today by Representative Kelly
His plan would pension those whose
incomes are less than Sc at 81 a
week, incomes of froin Sc to 81, at SO;
between 81 and $S, so week, and
from $S to 50, 81 a week.
The bill would disqualify all GRIM
mails. lunatics and inmates OF aims
houses and all men over 65 years old
who for any extended period have
failed to earn according to their abil-
ity.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
THEY TELL BIG YARNS.
The Old Soldiers Are Not Afraid To
Spread a Little.
Topeka Capital.

Topeka Capital.
Some times" says a man who
served good while in the army dur
ing the Civil War. zone of the old
comrades gets in the habit of telling
army stories until he really believes
them. Occasionally he forgets to
make his statements correspond with
each other. and there is where he
falls down.
Not long ago an old soldier, who
really has fine military record, but
whose imagination gets away with
him at times. was telling a crowd of
an army adventure. There was a
nest of rebs on one side of a river he
said, and we was on the other We
had to dislodge 'em. There want but
one way to do it, and that was to
swim the river and get at 'em. So
we stripped off our clothes, laid 'em
on the bank, and jumped into the
ragin' torrent 1t was Il hard swim,
but We made it. Just as / was climb
in up the bank on the other side |
saw n Johnny Reb jump out of the
brush. Quicker than thought / pull
cd my revolver out of my hip pocket
and covered him and told him to sur
render or die
Look here, Uncle Bill said by
standcr. Il minute ago you said that
YOU stripped all your clothes off and
laid 'em on the bank and swan the
stream. What | want To know is, if
you hadn't any clothes on when you
climbed up that bank, how could You
pull that revolver out Of your hip
pocket
"Rill eyed him solemnly for a mo-
mcnt and then said: THAT may seem
like II natural question for II young
cub VIII" never saw no war to ask, but
want To tell You that a soldier learn
ed I" carry his hip pocket with him
no matter whether he had any cloth
cS ON or not"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
THE MEXICAN WAR SITUATION.
Federal Forces VIII Evacuate Juarez,
Most Important Town on Border,
and will Gather at chihuahua.

El Paso, Texas. April 3O.--Federal
forces are To evacuate Juarez. the
most important port of entry on the
border and terminus of the Mexican
Central railway. Orders to has
ten to Chihuahua City. the state
capital. were received late today by
Col Juan n. vasQuez. the Juarez
garrison commander.
The projected movement Is In keep
Ing with the general order issued some
days ago that all federal forces in the
state mobilize at chihuahua City,
threatened by attack from the south.
Already constitutionalists are pressing
close To- Juarez from the territory
along the Rio Grande to the east.
The movement to the state capital
viii be FASTENED by today's desertions
from the Juarez garrison to the in
s1rgents. Empty military aims ar
rived today at Juarez from Chihuahua
city To convey the border towns gar
rison OF 500 men to the state capital.
The federals at Parral. the Ameri-
can mining centre southwest OF Chi
huahua City. also were ordered to
move to the State capital, but have
been unable To do SO. owing to the
almost complete destruction of the
railway.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
VALUE OF .,sTOR's ESTATE i
Noted Victim OF Titanic Disaster Left
Property Worth $S5,34O,9f7 Net,
According To Expert Appraisers.

New York, April 12-COl John
Ja cob AstOr. who perished in the sink
irg Of the Titanic, on April Is, 1912,
left gross estate of SS7,276,69I and a
net estate of 5,34O,917, according 10
official appraisers, on which the State
tax appraiser will base his report.
They showed an increase Of nearly
S15,O0O,O0O on any other previous
detailed account Of Col. Astor's
wealth.
The appraiser makes several inter
esting revelations as TO the nature
and extent of Col. Aster's holdings.
The schedules show also for the first
time the amounts of Col Astor's ante
nuptial settlements upon his first wife,
Mrs. Ava Willing Astor, and his seq
Ond wife, Mrs. Madeline Force Astor.
These settlements were for life and
on the death Of the peneficiaries they
will go into his residuary estate. The
property turned over to the support
VI -hiS' ava w llilIlS [SSloI ny
nuptial settlement has been appraised
at $7S7,397.
Mrs. Madeline Force Astor by ante
nuptial settlement was made the bene-
ticiary of two trust funds, one ap-
praised at $1,3S4,415 and the other at
$311.33G.
At the time of his death Col. Astor
owned absolutely property appraised
at s51,25S,3sS
Under the will Of his fathr, Will
liam Astor, he held for life with the
power Of disposal by will, trust funds,
the property contained in which was
appraised at $33,23S,98l.
The estimated expense Of admins
tering Col Astor's estate has been
fixed at $4,000.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
BICYCLE THIEF CAPTURED.
Negro Brought to Town OH Motor
Cycle by MIR. ii. l.. Tisdale.

What with motorcycles. automo-
biles, telephones and other modern
time and distance annihilators the
bicycle thief Of today has a hard
Thursday morning Isaac Cabbage
stalk, cOlored, was caught between
Heriot's Cross Roads and Dalzell on
Il wheel which he had stolen from J.
ID. Harper at Sumter about noon
Wednesday and by noon Thursday he
was resting in the county Jail await
ing a preliminary trial.
Cabbagestalk took the wheel from
sumter to Heriot's where he offered
it for sale. telephone message
from there to the sheriff, who gained
information on the subject, confirm
that the wheel had been stolen. 1t
was found that the man had left
Heriots and gone toward Dalzell This
information was telephoned to Rural
Policeman A. Nj. Bateman at Dalzell,
who went to meet the negro, whom
he came across between tn two places.
Bateman at once made the arrest and
took the negro and wheel back 20
Dalzell, where Mr.. II. l.. Tisdale had
gone on a motorcycle to identify the
wheel This was done and the wheel
was left there and Mr.. Tisdale brought
the darkey on to town on his motor
cycle where he was lodged in jail
! 1t seems that the police are hot
after the bicycle thieves, of whom a
great many have developed recently,
and are making things hot for them.
This is the third bicycle thief who has
been arrested within a week and a
number Of bicycles have been recover
ed. Thursday morning Rural PO-
/ liceman Newman brought in a wheel
/ belonging to Mr.. Nj. w. Seabrook
which was stolen some time ago and
is on the lookout for he thief.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03

National Commission VIII Welcome
Him Back to- Fold.

Chicago. April 30.-The belief that
Ty Cobb would be reinstated with only
a nominal fine was expressed tonight
by those who had interviewed mem
bers OF the national baseball commits
sion which met here today. The COM
mission took up only routine matters
at today's session and adjourned un-
I'll tomorrow morning. when Cobb's
case probably viii be considered.
The commission also is expected TO
take up the proposed congressional
investigation OF charges that profess
sional baseball constitutes a trust.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
MIR. BRAND LEAVES HOSPITAL
Coast line Superintendent Goes to
Darlington to Recuperate.

Florence, April S.-Mr. j. \.
Brand, superintendent of the At
lantic Coast Line Railroad, who has
been at Johns Hopkins, Baltimore,
for medical treatment, has so far re-
covered as To be able to go to the
home Of his sister, Mrs G. w. Hewitt,
at Darlington, s. C.
He passed through the city yester-
day In his private car en- route from
Baltimore to Darlington where he
will spend ten days recuperating ,af-
ter which he will return to Savan-
nah and resume his duties.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03

Speaking of the blind tiger business,
the Spartanburg journal says:
"rhe condition is such here in Spar
tanburg that a man might drive his
wagon on the public square, tie up
the wagon cover in the rear and retail
II barrel Of whiskcy publicly, rs was
done many years ago. If arrested he
then retail another barrel the next
day 10 pay court expenses"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
FIRE THURSDAY.
Building Owned by Col. X. ID. Lee De-
strOyed by Fire.

A building on North Main street,
corner of Pine, was burned about
noon Thursday by fire which caught
from the flue OF the kitchen chin
ney. The building was owned by Col.
r. d. Lee and occupied by q cOlOred
woman, Charlotte Roe
The blaze had a big start on the
firemen who found it impossible to
save anything much OF the building
except the flooring. Part of the
household effects were saved before
the hose wagons arrived.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
News and Views Of Pisgah.

Pisgah, April est is winter to-
day sure. Yesterday this section ex-
perienced quite a wind storm. The
dust was fearful; the wind played
havoc with the cotton which is trying
to live through the coolest April the
writer ever experienced. No doubt
but what we have had as cold
weather, but not so continuous as 1t
has been all thr' '!gh the month.
Nothing but dry weather has saved
the crops from being seriously in
jured or killed by frost.
Oats that started off so fine are no
good. The crop will be almost q
failure. On some places they are a
complete failure. This is loss to
the farmers who largely depend on
this crop.
Field day in Sumter was a fine sue
cess and DIR. Haynsworth and others
deserve credit for making it so. The
cutting out of the public dinner was
wise. The exhibits of the children
was creditable to them. | have heard
many expression on the boys oratorial
contest as to who made the best
speech and the concensus of opinion
of all those who expressed themselves
to the writer said that Allan Creigh-
ton made the best speech, and / think
so too.
Belser is right about the dstribu-
ton OF the county commissioners.
Sumter city and township are entitled
to and should have one of the com
missioners, both on account of popu-
lation and wealth.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03

Timmonsville Enterprise
The track of the South Carolina
Western was completed into town
last Friday and since then the V track
on the south side of the Coast Line
has been laid and everything is in
readiness for putting in the crossing
over the A. G. H. tracks A meeting
Of the railroad commissioners and
officials Of the two roads will be held
here on the Sth to determine the mat
but a short time before the depot
Will he in shape for business and
regular schedules arranged.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
Generous.
EvcryhOdy's Magazine.

EVcryhOdy's Magazine.
a farmer boy and his best girl were
seated I'm a buggy one evening in town
watching the people pass. Near by was
Il popcorn vendors stand.
Presently the lady remarked: My,
that popcorn Semlls good"
That's right" said the gallant.
smell IL better"
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-05-03
Why He Was Suspicious.
Cardih' Western Mall.

Cardih Western Mall.
Two friends, Welshman and y
Scotchman, happened To be lunch
ing together recently In a restaurant
The latter kept turning round Ia see
that his hat and coat remained still
on the peg where he had left them.
You are suspicious chap" said
MS friend at last. Who do You think
- going To walk in here and steal our
cQats?"
Cant say" replied Scotty. but
III take good care nobody gets mine;
yours went ten minutes aso,