davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
The Gossip
By Walt Mason

None can hope to hold a candle for
persistence, to the vandal who goes
peddling bits of scandal up.and down the
village street; when he should be busy
hoeing in the garden patch, or moving,
on foul errands he is going, travelling on
eager feet. "Have You heard the latest
story on J. William Hunkydory?" asks
the scandalmonger hoary, as you try to
pass him by. "Have you heard what
they are tellin' of jim ROSTERS sister
Ellen 2" And the weird and wicked
felon then repeats some evil lie. Maybe
when this freak was younger for good
tales he had a hunger, but, become a
scandalmOnger, nothing suits him but
the base; ne'er a word of admiration for
a soul in IL the nation, not one of ap-
probation ever tricKles from his face.
Does he ever pause to wonder why in
bitten or in thunder people try TO stand
from under when his voice he would up
raise, why the people dodge and shun
him-save the ones who come to dun
him-whv they show a wish to run him
from the village 'twixt two days? This
is true, my friends, be jabers: If YOU
lie about your neighbors, then the wages
for your labors will be deathless scorn
and hate; telling stories not demanded,
doing actions underhanded, finally will
see you landed where pariahs congregate.
Copyright, 1913, by George Matthew
Adams -------
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
Ours For the Asking


magnificent million
in of the
$50
comparatively
the indian reservation
S open o public permit the
hundreds Of thousands of
asking There few hundred
reservation allotted
grazing
supporting, left
magnificent all the
conditions particularly
bill before both houses
influence
to The
presidents
depve nobody advantage
support
government park
would be built
favOte
All
tegn with the representatives
congress:
savings Dallas San
savings
slow to take hold in Texas qualification
FL PasO leads the state this
the community with thrifty solid prosperity
lively distribution o wealth
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
The Carpenter
THE carpenter is a dressmaker whJ
NrnrEs IN lll1,l hor His inh l. Il
By GEORGE FITCH.
Author Of at Good Old SfWash.o

IT HE carpenter is a dressmaker who
works in lumber. His Job is to
cut out and haste together the
materials for a house and to fit it to
the family which Is to wear it.
Carpenters are born, not educated 1t
requires a specially designed eye to steer
saw across a u inch board without
allowing it to wander on the way like
a lodge member returning from initia-
ton. A carpenter can take a wagon
load of lumber and work it up into a
Gothic barn without wasting ANYTHING
but the sawdust, whereas if an amateur
were to try to build dog house from
the same wagon load he would have to
steal a piano box and part of his wife's
flour bin in order to piece out.
The badge of the carpenters profess
sion is a rag around the left hand thumb.
lie is a quiet man who does not talk
much, but who loves to get up shortly
after sunrise and produce a riot with his
hammer and saw. Two carpenters build
ing a barn can produce a chorus which
can be heard all over ward, but nobody
minds it. The song OF the carpenters
saw Is the anthem of prosperity and
when the carpenter loafs and his small
son uses his chisels to dig fish worms the
census returns of that city are not worth
catherine
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
incubation Against Typhoid

EJACULATION United
States Great Britain and Germany
the mobilization Texas years.
typhoid Of
In the with SPAIN in
in
in
that fearful has home the army today
a typhoid any arnyn h world
The
eliminating the fly chiefly responsible recent marked
typhoid infection;
efficacy Of incubation to render
Parents should keeDinq tbe bn5rs,
home during the from parties boy or girl who dances until
midnight VIII not very high in studies next dav
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
One-Sentence Philosophy
QUAKER aIEpITATIoNs.
philadelphia Record.)

NFnlladelphia RecOrd.)
from a crook
80. Iacs IS the leaven that prevents flat
terry from falling flat.
Wise is the man who knows enough
not 70 know too much.
= quite natural that the doctor
55a ao3aq want his patients to be well
=. men married man is henpecked it
hearted NS - CiliSlAeH
II may be. all right to take the
cot Sic5 i t me deed, but no man ever
~ ig -Hs as II may seem, it's the man
VINO keeps his troubles to himself that
All that glitters isn't gold No.
man mas pinned his faith 10 a sfsr cy,11 a
70 e GilsGoter that it was a FREELY.
9iIlsIe Lon-A baby will sometimes
CO user 70 sleep, won't it," yoTne-
pop-'Xes, but not until it has O c-iss5
everybody else awake" u i0u
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

-VEWs1-I
A slfI VINO fishes for Compliments
never makes a good catch unless she
uses a landing net. sHe
In accord with the eternal fi+ro..
OF thlnss' man with narrow shouIde-s
ought to wear a broadcIoth coat
We once heard Of a man who kent
ms mouth smut and lived to regret it
put we nave never been able to Sc
cure the proof Of the assertion
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
Snudge Pots

HE VALLEY FARMER who snudged his market
all to himself He have lost half cp
making he ful
The lesson ought not to be lost Water
doubtful the
by fighting and when
Will thermometer clock and the smudge pot on
=
The through the s,f. +5 :, ~
week Fl PasO getting metropolitan every hour
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
Little BObbie and His Pa
The "Sisters OF Song Come to the
House and PA Gets Praised,
but Doesn't Mind.
William r. Kfrk--
BY william +. hirA

/ IT. HE Sisters of Song cain up TO the
house aggenn last mite. Wen
- thay calm in the front door pa
got kind of pale, like a man witch is
! see-sick, but he tried to be nice to
I them beekaUs thay are mas trends
Oh thare is that darling husband
/ of yUres sed MissuS Jenkins She was
( a awful fat, hOamly woman, & I doant
think she was vary yung. but she KEEP
all the time gigglng- Dear me, she
( sed to ma, I wish I cud have a nus
band like that, a deer, nOabel man that
is all the time rite ware you know
ware he is / newer know ware my
husband it wen he goes out, she seq.
I know lots of husbands like that
sed pa Thare wifes newer know
ware thay are wen thay 90 out, g thay
newer know ware tnay are al Wen
thay stay hoam with thare Wifes- Well,
gUrls, L suppose you CAIN OaVer ton1te
to spill a few new songs Go on &
MARBLE. little Wrens. pa sed- am go
ing out in the library & reed sumthing
about the Dark Ages
On. bless yure deer hart. sed Missus
Jenkins you need not leeVe US alone
We wud rather you & yUre deer Httel son
stayed rite here with US bekaus have
rOte a new 1uV song witch our club is
going to print next month I am go
ing to sing IL now, sed AllsSus jenkins.
& If you will turn Oaver the leeveS Of
musick I will git a chanst to sing it
rite at you.
Then pa looked eeven paler than
OeeLOaE. & II TOOK MN quite a WINE 70
git up but he went oaver TO the piano
& turned the musick for Missus Jen-
kins. I took down all the words I
thought thay was awful poor & so did
pa, this is the words:
The shades of mite is softly falling,
Ger you Iuv. & me, luv,
It almost maiks me feel like baWling
To think our lives must be apart,
Deer hart
To think our lives must be apart
The daybrake Gums. but brings moar
sorrow,
To you, Iuv & me, luz
I only feer another morrow
With you across the way from me.
It should not be
That yu're across the way from me!
Missus Jenkins sang the first part
Of the song kind of loud so all Of US
line low & soft & looked at pa so ten
der that for a minnit she looked al
most pritty-
That is sum song. sed pa You sing
it with CRATE feeling. How did il ever
happen that we got so far apart on
LIES way2 sed pa
I dOant like that number vary well,
deer. sed ma to Missus Jenkins. It is
butiful in its wording, ma sed but
thare is no use of a woman feeling
bad Jest bekaUs she can't be fortunate
enuff to marry a noabel man like my
husband
Then all Of the Sisters Of Song sed
at Onst: We wuddent marry yure hus-
Wurld, & then thay all went hOam-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
GLOBE SIGHTS.

You car believe your ewes If Won
e TI1nt 20 but a proofreader is more
,-. mere IS no denying that a boy takes
whip. " pay i1i0'S &c Can
one Lhlng in favor Of the preacher
~ reads his sermon: He can tell
When ne gets to the end.
There are 2 rrTr1Te,- Ir-bo obiao+ .
a cFeGlt system and don't want to wait
ana get their reward in heaven.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
SALOON LICENSE tax
EHnUE GUurw1

Austin, Texas, Aug. 26-The state
treasury has collected a little over
S6OO,OO0 this month from liquor license
taxes, which were made bv the zOOO
saloons doing business in the state.
This IS slight decrease from the
amount heretofore collected. This is
accounted for by a sligbt decrease in
the number Of saloons. due to the rigid
enforcement Of the liquor Ia
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26

reaches 50 cents a gallon The i'm
pOrtant factor in securing a liquid fuel
which will replace gasoline is that II
shall be lower in price than gasoline
is now
TOmOrrOW-Radium.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
is POSTMASTER AT JARo-

Washington. D. c., Aug. 2s-Juan B.
archuIata has been appointed post
master at Jaro, n. NJ
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
THIRTY-THIRD YEAR OF PUBLICATION

by Assoat
c. Wnmarth o lana
Csl h
W. R A A =
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26

It's purity hard t find tn waist line On
a girls foot this summer. "Men ought T.
keep still about our skirts since it's only
been IS er 30 years since they WIZ
wearin' bell bottOmed pants an alligator
Shoes" says Miss Tawny Apple this
mornin'
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26

. HE Sisters Of Song CAIN Up TO the
house aggenn last mite. Wen
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26
= One WOman's Story =
By Virginia Terhune Van de Water
CHAPTER XVII

y BEDIENT to her husbands sug-
gestion, Mary Fletcher tried to
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-26

In connection with the market
prices of kerosene and gasoline, it is
interesting to note how values are az
fected by popular demand In former
days the oil engine was expensive be-
cause OF the high price. Of both crude
and refined oils. Now the conditions
are absolutely reversed. Kerosene has
become a by-product Of little value. It
Is quoted at so per cent less a gallon
than gasoline. The increased use of
electricity and gas for illumination has
greatly lowered the demand for kero-
sene since it is no longer in such great
demand for lighting purposes. Conse-
quently' some additional use for il
must be found if it is to preserve its
value as a marketable commodity
Among the substitutes for gasoline
with which experiments are being
made, is denatured alcohol which il IS
claimed can be cheaply produced Under
present conditions the demand for al
cohOl does not affect the gasoline
trade 1t is said that if gasoline con-
unues to advance in price, alcohol may
become a rival when the retail price
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16
Communicated.

Editor of Register have been very
much exercised over the automobile ana
motorcycle. and think il is time Tor some
one to call the attention or those who
operate these machines on our highways.
They are getting so reckless and careless
by the continued use OF same tnat lhey
seem to forget that anybody else IS en-
titled to be on the road. have been
driving the roads constantly since these
machines have come IN use, and nave
never seen such fast driving and indlfter-
ence 10 those who do not own a machine
as | have in the last month. | feel conf
dent that those who do this reckless
work do not realize that they are putting
any one in danger, and II Al accident
occurs they will regret il very much.
Since school has started lind that a
great many children are driving to town,
and notice several teams coming 10 town
with three and four small children ranging
from six 10 twelve years OF age-qulte
Young TO manage team among so many
automobiles and motorcycles. The reck-
lessnesS and indiley snCe is certainly
dangerous and fear the results.
will point out few dangers from
careless automobile drivers: Making a
curve in the road, going over hill, COM
ing upon a team suddenly from the rear
without giving notice. These points
should be observed to avoid accidents.
No doubt many will say that they do all
that, but have noticed this fact too often,
and say in most positive language thai
the maiority do not. do not write this
appeal to your better reason with any
prejudice against the automobile, but
thinking il might be warning that may
save an accident, especially to some
small school children. How would you
feel if such would occur q?
ONE WHO DRIVES.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

AT the special congressional election
held in the first West Virginia district
yesterday TO name successor TO hon.
John w. Davis, the Democratic candidate,
Major M. M. Nicely, of Fairmont, was
elected by plurality of about $500 over
his Republican opponent, State Senator
Julian 6. Hearne, of Wheeling. George
A. Mclaughlin, the Progressive canoi-
date, polled nearly 1000 votes, and Walter
Hilton, Socialist, received about 3,OOO.
The result of the election is highly grail
fyin @ TO the Democrats, and particularly
so TO President Wilson and his Official
family. The Republicans made their
fight on the tariff issue, and made the
most strenuous appeals to the IRON
workers of the district TO rally around
the protective policy. Senator Goii was
called in and tried TO enthuse the voters
with his famous old speech about the
American flag, but il seemed to have lost
lis charm. Governor Hatfield and other
State leaders took an active part in the
fight, but their efforts were futile. The
first district is normally Republican by a
large majority, but the ProgfeSsiveS have
rebeIled against old fogyism and have
divided the vote SO that the Democrats
won comparatively easy victory.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16
sHAppsBuRG NEWS.

Dick MYERS. who resided at the little
village of Smoketown, near mere, mas
moved his family and household eifecis
10 near Baltimore.
Samuel S. Stouifer has force OF men
at work picking apples. He doesn't have
so many this year, and is handling them
himself. .,
Kirbey Wade and Norman Smith are
the only two persons from this place
serving as collectors and guards al the
HagerStoWn fair this year.
Harvey Boyer, of Brunswick, spent a
couple days with his parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Samuel Boyer.
Quite number of persons from this
place are spending a couple OF DAYS al
the fair this week.
The Samuel Eavey dwelling at Porters-
town, owned by Charles Thomas, was
burned to the ground one night last week,
supposed 10 have beer set on lire by
some one. Ii was covered fully by IN
surance. -,
One of Emory Summers children died
OF diphtheria at their home near Mercer
vile. and was brought here last thurs
day and inferred in the colored peoples
burial ground.
Sell Coyle, living near the Dunkard
church. is disabled from work with very
sore hand
Harry Shackelford and William Faulk-
ner painted the clearinghouse on the
Piper farm, near Bloody Lane.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There
is only one way TO cure deafness, and
that is by constitutional remedies. Deaf
ness is caused by an inflamed condition
of the mucous lining OF the EuStachian
Tube. When this tube is inflamed you
have rumbling sound or imperfect hear
ing, and when ii is entirely closed, Deaf
ness is the result, and unless the inflam-
nation can be taken out and this tube
restored 10 its normal condition, hearing
will be destroyed forever; nine cases out
OF ten are caused by Catarrh, which is
nothing but an inflamed condition OF the
MUCOUS surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness Caused by catarrahl
that cannot be cured by Halls Catanh
Cure. Send for circulars free.
F. ]. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
ton.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16
Communicated.

KearneySville, October IA, 1918.
MIR. Editor-Dear Sir beg space in
YOUR valuable paper to answer the un-
called for advertisement you had in your
paper last week about the assessors. |
will admit that me and my deputies all
make errors, as all other men do. | will
like you 10 show me man that doesn't.
talked with one man who had been
assessor for twelve years, said he had,
and others who had been for eight wears,
ard said they had, and those men are
said to be as good assessors as we have
had in the county for years. know we
have missed getting some property on
the books, bu: il was not our Intention.
but will be corrected. | hope there is
not as much a mix-up as you thought
there were. and you don't consider that
there has been thousands Of dollars, as
much as sixteen thousands in place,
that found that never had been assessed.
You spoke OF The farm of M. IA. Stanley
not being on the book. can show you
il is, and would very much rather you
would examine my books before you ad-
vertise anything more about the assess
ment.
FL. WATSON, County Assessor.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

The attempt to account for Million
dollar deficit in the States finances this
year because next year the revenue OF
$500, 900 from liquor licenses will be cut
off is falling flat. II might be believed
in part if il should be circulated twelve
months from now, but even then it would
be questionable. The State isn't going
10 suffer any from the loss OF this tainted
license money. We agree with the
Parkersburg Dispatch-News which says:
at is hardly TO be desired that the State
should secure a dollar out OF every twenty
running through system which swallows
the other nineteen and makes a more
wasteful use of them truly than stuffing
them in sewer"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

THE yearly liquor bill OF the United
States is $l,75O,OOO,OOO. For churches
and public schools there is spent S475,-
100000 Isn't it singular that civilized
nation will spend more than three times
as muck for liquor as it does for religion
and education?
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

In speech in the first district few
days ago Senator Golf declared that the
Democratic tariff bill was crime against
the government. It's wonder he
wouldn't have remained in Washington
to try and prevent the crime, instead OF
dawdling about European resorts all
summer.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

UNCLE SAM is not only going to pro-
tect citizens OF the United States residing
in Mexico, but he will look after the per-
secuted people of that unhappy land as
well. Warning has been sent by our
Government to the bloodthirsty President
Huerta that injury to the legislators whom
he has threatened will be followed by
the displeasure OF the United States.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

THE Philadelphia North American says
that crime and the care and protection ii
necessitates are costing this country $4,-
100000 day. Ii is conceded by experts
that about three-fourths OF the crimes are
caused by liquor. In view of these facts,
isn't it about time TO end the liquor bust
ness? Think Of wasting millions every
day 10 perpetuate the greatest curse that
aiflicts humanity
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

THE Supreme Court of Arkansas has
sustained the validity of the prohibition
bill, and that State will 60 dry on the Isl
OF January next. The temperance leaven
is working, and if the Christian people
OF the United States but do their duty the
whole country will 60 dry.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

Sitting in his office in Washington last
Friday President Wilson pressed a tee-
graph key, and spark flew overland to
Galveston, thence by cable under the sea
TO the Panama Canal, where il ignited a
mighty charge OF dynamite which eXplod-
ing blew up the last barrier that obStruct-
ed this great waterway. There is now
water in the canal from one end TO the
other, and only finishing touches remain
to complete the greatest work ever under
taken by man
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

ISN'T il wonderful Here'sthe new tariff
law in effect ten days, and we haven't
heard of a business failure because OF il
nor OF asingle mandatory closing down.
Looks as If this country has outgrown the
calamity hoWlers.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

1T must be admitted that Congressman
Richmond Pearson Hobson is a fighter.
He sailed right into Congressman Under
wood, the most popular man in the
House, on Monday, and he was still in
the ring when time was called
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

We think that President Wilson is right
in urging the Senate to slightly faster
pace than it has been making on the
currency bill. lnterminable delay is one
OF the old standpat methods which the
Senate has long used TO defeat those
measures which ithas not dared to openly
kill, and the President knows, and so do
many others. that the present delay is
the result OF secret sinister influences.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

WhiSkey caused terrible tragedy in
Harrison county, this State, last Saturday
night. Thomas KniSely, well-known
citizen, went home drunk aud attacked
his son and daughter with a butcher
knife. The son, to protect himself aud
his sister, was forced TO shoot his father,
who died in a few minutes.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

Col. Roosevelt has gone on an explor-
ing expedition to the wilds OF South
America. He failed to arouse any polit-
ical excitement before he left, out he
saws Just wait until he gets back.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

CONGRESS is giving a continuous per-
Torrance this year, but it must be admit
ted that every thing promised on the bills
is being presented.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

THERE is a good deal of acrimonious
discussion at the great Episcopal cOnven-
ton in New York over the proposition to
change the name of the church. No one
has yet made the claim that changing the
name will save any souls.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

1.-THE Republican leader in the House OF
Representatives, Mr.. Mann, says that he
is going to make all the trouble he can
tor the Democrats. That's about all TO
be expected from gnatS.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

THE city of New York has decreed that
mothers shall not be employed as teach
ers in the public schools. And yet there
would be no public schools were it not
for the mothers.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1913-10-16

The steamship VoIturno, of the Uranium
line, was burned at sea last Friday, en-
route from Rotterdam to New York. She
carried "a cabin passengers, $40 steerage
passengers and crew OF 90. Although
her wireless messages soon brought a
half dozen other vessels 10 her aid,
fierce storm retarded the work OF rescue,
and 1876 lives were lost.