The Holly chieftain., 1913-08-01
He STRUCK A SNAG
Geological Research and Hard
Cider Produces a Wife for
"a Professor.
BY CLARA iNEz DEACON.

AL college professors are afflicted
with absent -mindedness and that nine
out OF ten of them will pass his wife
on the street without remarking her
identity. There is an idea that, out
side of class hours. they go wandering
over the fields with their hands cross
ed under their coat tails and talking
strange jargon to themselves.
This is all nonsense in the main. A
professor Of botany, for instance. may
meet COW while studying plant life
In a meadow, and raise his hat to her,
but you can put that down more to in
nate politeness than absent-minded-
ness.
A professor Of natural history, hold
ing a chipmunk by the neck while he
studies the construction of its feet,
may be excused if he does not immedi-
ately catch on to the full meaning OF
the farmer owner when he yells at
him from distance of forty rods:
Here, you blamed hoss-thief. you.
what YOU trompling down a hull acre
of grass fur! You dig right out or I'll
set the dog on you!"
Professor -Rains. the geologist. was
not bit absent-minded. He was
rather forgetful. but the two are not
synonymous. He was fifty years old
when he came to the village of Rocky
Ridge to pass a month studying GER
tain signs to signify the age OF the
earth. If he had been absent-mind-
ed, he would have stopped short at
Grafton's Falls or gone on to Sand.
stone Hill. That he was forgetful was
proved by his leaving his money on
his dresser at his boarding house in
the college town when he came away.
The professor had never married.
He was suave and courteous and of
fine appearance, and he made friends
In Rocky Ridge at once. Most Of the
people laughed at the idea OF his car
ing whether the earth was ten thou
sand or ten million years old, as the
exact figures would have no effect on
the price Of butter, but the laughter
was good-natured. AS Deacon Win
field summed 1t up at the post Office:
HE looks like smart feller, but
II he wants to waste his talents climb
ing around among the rocks instead Of
swopping hosses. why. it's his own
business and there's no call for US to
pity him"
:. The professor found a boarding
place with the widow Glynn, and
thereby brought pique to the hearts Of
four other widows and an old maid.
all OF whom took summer boarders-
when they could get them. No one
had told him OF the other widows. or
he might have tried to scatter himself
around among them. In time he met
them all. and while they still held
their piQue, they said he was a nice
man.
Professor Bains got along In his in
vestfgation very well for couple Of
weeks and then he struck snag. He
had about made up his mind that the
age of the earth was 100000 and
some odd years. when he came across
stone that knowledge OF geology ap.
praised him must have been formed
at far later date. This find rather
knocked him out. He was sitting on
q big boulder thinking the matter over
when Farmer Stebbins who had met
him in the village, and who lived only
a quarter of a-mile distant. came
tramping across the field to say:
well, professor, how goes it?"
i've struck snag," was the reply.
"How?"
:By discovering this stone. It's
millions of years younger than the
others around"
Sort of kid. Ell? Does it change
your figgers much?"
Every much indeed. confess that
don't know exactly what to do about
IT,"
Then I'll tell ye. The old woman
has got billed dinner all ready to set
on the table, You come to the house
and help US to eat it. I'll bet you
haven't had one In twenty years.
Come and fill up and then We'll have a
talk about this old airth. own 24G
acres of her and I'll like to be posted"
It was good dinner. The professor
filled up. For thirty minutes or more
the hame and potatoes, the cabbage
and carrots made him utterly forget
the age OF the earth.
Dinner finished at last. the two men
took chairs on the veranda and the
farmer lighted his pipe, his wife
brought out jug of cider, and the
host began:
How do you fellers figure that the
airth was nader"
The professor belonged to the school