The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-24
YARN-SPINNING SHERIFF TELLS
HOW PEOPLE GET THEIR NAMES

| filled with equal quantity of devilment,
This here last gal was Frightening up the
landscape and setting thing Attire about
the time of the Revolutionary War She
was the toast of her day. run after by all
the boys in forty miles of her for she
was one of the gayliest Maidens you ever
| looked at Dainty and peart to the limit
was Dollie-one of them kind that could
make man jump out of tall tree for
| love of her. The gal was raised rich,
with a whole lot of high notions, mighty
! horty and aristocratic. Her pretty head
was full of foollshness along of reading
them old fashioned novels like Walter
Scott Clarissa Harlowe, Days of Bruce
Jane Austen and such.
Looking for PIumed Knight
'She was continually looking out for
| some plumed knight to come riding out
| of the woods, his saddle bow draped with
| scalps an dthings, and lay his deyours
| and other things at her dainty feet, while
| the Seneschal tootel his horn and bower
| and hall rang with high-fiown deeds Of
| chivalry-as the trenchermen poked in
| the grub-or words to that effect Ere
quently she give it out clammy and cold
| that she'd never mortal man unless he
| had the sand in his gizzard of them old
Round Table Ducks of King Arthurs
| Court fellows that ud tackle anything
| from lye-soap to Dragons, and who went
squttering over the country clothed in a
| whole hardware store rescuing gentle
maidens, and punching other Iron-foundry
knights in the Stats with a pole for the
honor of Merrie England
The men of this age she allowed,
were prosaic, commercial, and wholly
wanting in the high courage of the gallant
Paladins of Old, and she would turn up
her cute little nose and fiirt off to her
Lam t1o f1.f, I.
hanging about her, cussin q blue streak,
and yearning for a chance to punch
somebody's head
There was a slow motioned good
natured, husky boy who was a neighbor
to this here Dollie Calvert, having growed
up with her, and been her playmate
slave and football ever since he was
knee high. His name was Robert Har-
court Dinwiddie, but nobody ever thought
of calling him anything except just plain
! Bob. When she was a little gal she
would tyrannize and domineer over that
Bob boy scanlalous, but he appeared to
like it. and never grumbled little bit
She'd scratch him, and eat up all his
goodies, and bite him, and that Bob per-
son would just set and look at her same
as II she was idol of gold.
"Dollie's folks didn't mind Bob playin'
with and protecting her any more than If
he had been a big Newfoundland dog
| don't suppose they ever gave a thought
to that stout urchin hanging about her
any more than If he had been a nigger
because Bob's folks was as poor as
church mise, and there was the High
muck-aMucks of that whole country
Bob shore was devoted to that little gal
and being as strong as steer, he kept
her from Citing hurt and being drowned
and falling out en- trees and things lots
of times
Went Away to College
These young folks growed up together
free and untrammeled like a couple of
reeds by the Rivers brink, Dollie hector
ing and henpecking him, regular, and Bob
doating on her like she was Egg-nogg
and guarding her same as a big bull dog.
| Finally her folks sent her off to a swell
/ College for Yung Women in the City. for
| to put the frils on her education, leav-
ing Bob mighty lonesome. except for
plowing and farming. and occasionally
| going to a night school. When she fin
| ished and come back the Queen of Sheba
was outclassed by her raiment. a job lot
| of dudes was hanging around her like
! bees after honey, and she put on more
| dog than sausage factory. She vet
never failed to declare herself as refusing
to mate with any man critter alive, unless
he had great gobs of the Walter Scott
| brand of courage.
the old folks give him to understand that
! there was social gulf between EN-, and
| that she wasn't AT home any more to Mr.
| Robert Harcourt Dinwiddie'-at least
| that's the way Dollie's ma put 1t, so that
| Bob pranced away from that front door
| as mad wet hen. He never laid eyes
| on her no more for a spell until late one
| evening as he was walking along home
on the big road, returning from his work,
| he heard female voice carol forth a
squawk, and sen two big Hobos a yank-
| ing a girl along between them. Bob lit
| down on them outcasts like a thousand
| of brick, grabbed both of them by the
| neck, and with them ox-muscles of his
| he knocked their heads agin each other
| just as kid would play with two dolls.
until them Weary Willes was senseless.
when he diskivered it was Dollie he
| had been rescung he grinned like a cata-
mount. Dollie talked blue streak and
/ twittered her thanks, but Bob made a
few brilliant remarks about the weather
| fetched his hat mighty supercilious. said
| Good Evenin and ambied off as horty as
roosters, leaving that maiden sorter
| chawed
Bob's Circus Exploit
when the Circus hit the village Bob
was plowing in the bottom field, and
didn't know it until along In the shank
| of the evening. when he took out and
| mounted his old iKt mule with the geal
| on him, intending to go by the Post Of
| fee. Arrived thar he seen there was some
commotion going on--folks stampeding-
people running off among the scenery,
! and everybody slxeered into a blue funk.
| Waits the cause of this here stampede?' r.
| asked Bob of a citizen who is shining IN