davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting MA
nepartments), No. 1900.
Wholesome berries thrive and ripen best
Neighbor'd by fruit of baser quarity'
II King Henry v.
Mr.. Edmonds and the Underwood Bill

Mr.. Edmonds and the Underwood Bill
Editor Edmonds of the Manufactur-
ers' Record, publiched in Baltimore,
should readjust his viewpoint when he
looks at the Underwood bill and de-
nounces it as wholly unworthy. His
present viewpoint is that of the manu-
facturer. He sees things as the manu-
facturer accustomed to high rates sees
them. He does not appreciate the
value of a competitive tariff which
will spur the manufacturer to the
highest endeavor after heavy bounties
have been withdrawn.
Mr.. Edmonds has been good friend
of the south and any apprehensions
that a 25 per cent duty will not pro-
tect southern cotton mills located per-
haps in big cotton patch are trifle
unreasonable. Mr.. Edmonds is, how
ever, careful in his predictions. He
does not say southern cotton mills will
be stopped; he says heavy loss will
fall on cotton growers, and yet the
price of the commercial crop is not
determined in this country. 1t is
worldwide crop, and Liverpool and
Manchester have voice in this mat
ter. It is safe to say that the Under
wood bill will have no effect on the
price of cotton, and that no southern
man is booming himself to political
destruction by supporting the Under
wood tariff.
The Age-Herald will be content if
Mr.. Edmonds will reread the first
hundred words of the Baltimore plat
form. He undertook to say at St. Louis
that the Underwood tariff transcends
the platform pledges of the party.
The Age-Herald respectfully asks a
second reading of the tariff plank of
that platform. 1t stands at the very
head of it and it is well summed up
In these words: "We appeal to the
American people to support US in our
Hemand for traiff for revenue only"
Not single provision in the Under
wood bill transcends in the slightest
particular this demand, unless indeed
It be the free list, and Mr.. Edmonds'
geontention does not so much relate to
the free list as to the scale of duties.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

In response to a call the county COM
missioners at Warren, Pa, went to Tor
pedo, where they took charge of an aged
man and brought him to the Rouse hos
pital. The man told the commissioners
his name was John Oliver and that he
had brother in Chicago. He said that
he owned a plot of 12o building lots near
Wheeling, w. Va, and that he had val
liable mineral collection in, Lancaster,
Pa. A telegram sent to his brother in
Chicago brought a prompt reply and
confirmation of the mans story of wealth.
According to the telegram, Oliver has
been missing for 12 years. suffering from
a mental malady, and thousands of dol
lars have been spent in searching for him.
Until recently he had been employed at
the silica sand plant at Torpedo and was
hurt under fall of rock. The injury ev-
identity cleared his mind and he has re-
covered his memory. He will be retained
at the almshouse until his brother ar
rives
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
A BUSY WOMAN

-xILL YOU be at home at all to-
w % day. "a s..,' :, ''''' : :.
st don't know. There's
meeting of the Woman's uplift society
this morning at 10 o'clock. the City
Beautiful club meets at 1880, I have
promised to take lunch with several
members of the vice committee and in
the afternoon I must make an inspec-
tion with the members of the Woman's
Welfare club of certain tenement dis.
tricts In the lower part of the city To-
night at s o'clock l will deliver an
address before the Affiliated clubs on
The Last Step in the Emancipation of
Women Is there any particular rea-'
son why I should be at home today?"
"Oh, no particular reason. 1 Just
thought I'd tell you that little Bobby is
quite sick in the nursery"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
Honest poultry dealers make money
by fair means and fowl.
When the society ball season ends
that of the moth ball begins.
The man who is anxious to buy usual
ly gets the worst of the bargain.
A girl can make a man think she
doesn't know anything, erronecously.
But when a mans face is broken 1t
never by any chance breaks into smiles.
The world owes us all a living and
some go as far as the penitentiary to
collect It,
After a man has landed a political
job he begins to kick because the salary
isn't larger.
The young man who processes a will
ingness to die for girl before mar
riage may live to wish that he had
Your friend will think it is a shame
II you make a lot of money by follow
Ing the advice he gave you. but which
he>was afraid to follow himself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
w. p. Gideon Talks

81 have just returned from a 30 days
trip through Alabama" said w. P. Gid
con, travelling representative of the
Blackman Stock Remedy company of
Chattanooga, Tenn.
II found practically all the country
merchants in prosperous condition and
all are optimistic The traiff is having
absolutely no effect and 1 am having all
the business l can handle.
Crops are badly in need of rain In
some parts of the state. In my opinion
the cotton acreage in Alabama will be
much larger this year than last. On
account of the dry spell many farmers
have been forced to replant their cot
ton and in some cases there have been
as many as three paintings. The straw
berry crop is one Of the largest l have
seen and farmers are daily shipping large
quantities of this luscious berry to the
city markets.
Fish are causing more damage to crops
and business conditions in the rural dis
tricts than any other one factor. Nearly
every man you see has a fishing pole
in his hand and the rivers and creeks
are lined with disciples of Ike Walton.
Well, these are lazy days, and 1t is hard
to censure a person for leaving his work
to bask on creek bank, where mos
quittoes, bull snakes and other such var
mints abound, because there is much
pleasure to be gotten from this form of
advertisement"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
HE LOVED A sUFFRAGETTE

From the New York Telegram.
Investigation by the London police OF
militant suffragette activities is said to
have brought to light a batch of love-
sick letters from a socialist M. p. to a
prominent suffrage leader.
Naturally the gallant "bobbies" refuse
to divulge the contents of the missives or
the names of mo persons most interested.
but the London papers sacrifice chivalry
to the news intinct and give the names
of Kier Hardie and General" Flora
Drummond
1t is as suspected, the fierce new wom-
al Is the same old woman, after all. It's
a pity William Schwenk Gilbert isn't here
to deal with the situation in his inimitabie
vein.
Wish the other half Of the correspond
erce could be obtained from Mr.. Hardie.
'The Love Letters Of a sansculotte''
ought to make GOOD reading.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

According to a report of the Montclair
board of health issued today, the cam
paign Of the health department for an i'm
provement in the quality of ice cream sold
has been productive of wonderful results
When the work began one dealer was SELL
ing ice crean-that contained 35,0O00OO bac-
terra to the cubic centimetre. In three
months this dealer reformed his methods
of manufacturing so radically that he is
now producing ice cream with only 1,ooo,-
600 basteria. Another dealer brought his
score down from 100000 to 10000.
The board of health is keeping a score
of the ice cream plants that supply Mont
clair, and the records OF bacteria are pub
Ashed IA Its regular reportss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
Perfect Babies in New York

There are indeed perfect babies in
New York city. Six have been actual
" locsted-six that fulfil to the last
1T the many -columned and cross-col-
1iSned score card of the standardized
haby prepared by an eminent child
'npecialist. And not one of the six
f6bies was born uptown" or any
vhere else except in the most con-
S6ted districts Of the East Side. The
~ first one that scored 1000 points
- born in a little flat in Essex
~ andsthe front room ef the flat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

The members of Unity church in Mont
clair. N. j., in annual session, voted in
favor of a proposal that the pastor, the
Rev. Edgar S. Wiers. be instructed to
require a medical certificate from all per-
sons seeking to be married in the church
henceforth. Notice of the intention to
have the annual assemblage vote on the
question had been given in advance, and
all came prepared to express their con-
victions. The vote in favor of the rro-
posal was unanimous. There were a
number of women present Recently the
Rev. Henry e. Jackson of the Christian
Union Congregational church of Mont
clair announced that ne would perform
no marriages unless the bridegroom pre-
sented certificate of good health.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
From Andrew Lang's animal Stor,


| From Andrew Langs animal Story
Book"
q ONE years ago a widely known
! artist named Decamps lived in
~ Paris He was the intimate
artists and scientific men of the day
and was devotedly fond of animals of
all sorts. He loved to paint them, and
he kept quite a small menagerie in his
studio, where bear, a monkey, a
tortoise and frog lived in peace and
harmony together.
Here follows the story of Tom, the
bear.
1t was on the night of Shrove Tues
day in the year 1882. Tom had as yet
spent only six months in Paris, but he
was really one of the most attractive
bears you could wish to meet. He ran
to open the door when the bell rang. he
mounted guard for hours together. hall
berd in hand. standing on his hind legs,
and he danced a minuet with infinite
grace, holding a broomstick behind his
head.
He had spent the whole day In the
exercise of these varied accomplish
clothes press, which did duty as his
hutch, to seek a little repose, when
there came knock at the street door.
Jacko, the monkey instantly showed
such signs of joy that Decamps made
a shrewd guess that the visitor could
be no other than Fan, the self elected
tutor in chief to the two animals-nor
was he mistaken. The door opened, Fan
appeared, dressed as clown, and
Jacko flung himself in rapture into his
arms.
Very good, very good" said Fan.
placing the monkey on the table and
handing him a can. You're really
charming creature. But I haven't come
for you tonight; it's your friend Tom
I want"
Tom stretched one great paw beyond
| the cupboard. yawned plaintively, and
then advanced toward his tutor.
That's right" said Fan. now be
good fellow, particularly as one has
come all this way on purpose to fetch
you"
And where are you going?" asked
Decamps.
ITO the carnival masked ball, nothing
less. Now then, Tom, my friend, come
along. We've got cab outside wait
ing by the hour"
AS though fully appreciating the
force of this argument. Tom trundled
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

After manufacturing sausage for a gen.
Grafton, Samson Bros. of South Scranton
Pa, haveS closed their plant on account
of the high cost of meat. In explaining
the situation to their employees the firm
said that the steadily soaring quotations
on meats of the cheaper grades made it
impossible to conduct the business at a
profit. The factory will probably be
turned into silk mill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
Railroad Rates in This State


The progression of the Louisville
and Nashville rate case in the federal
courts is featured with celerity. Judge
Grubb has restrained the state COM
mission from reducing fares to 21s
cents a mile until the case can be
heard by three federal judges, but
this restraint is a matter of a few
days only, for the question of
permanent injunction is to be heard by
three federal judges on May %, and
presumptively their decision will be
speedily announced.
Judge Grubb advised the attorneys
for the railroad to be ready to argue
the question at issue at the time
named. To ask for longer time
under the circumstances would be a
sign of weakness, and neither side
will be apt to show that.
The state is to be congratulated
upon the quick movement of this case
to what will in all probability be a
final hearing and adjustment of the
entire matter. Once this question is
out of the way the politics of the state
can be reorganized and put on a more
normal basis. Railroad rates are
very much in evidence among poll
ticians, especially in a state in which
railroad passes have been cut out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

SAN FRANCISCO
S. e. Kiser. in the Chicago Record
Herald.
(Seven Years Artery
A pail hung over the broad blue bay;
In smoking ruins the city lay
The splendid city so bravely planned
And Horror hastened from land to land.
And Sorrows sign was on every door
For the far-famed city that was no
And fearful men to their brethren said:
It's glory is gone and its greatness dead;
Its marble halls and its stately homes.
Its towering walls and it's lofty domes,
Its well-won pride and its careless glee
Forever and ever have ceased to be!'
But another city has risen there;
They have made it great, they have
made 1t fair;
Its wharves have called to the wide
worlds fleets.
And traffic roars through its crowded
Streets;
Still glorified by the old romance,
1t grieves no more DER its sad mis-
chance.
They have left no trace on the fiame-
swept hills
OF tho twisted beams and the black
And over the haunts where vice was
= bred
The glittering roofs of trade are spread;
With matchless courage and splendid
zeal
They have made a marvel of stone ana
steel.
They have planned with hope, they
have wrought with pride,
And the spirit lives that men thought
had, died,
And they who were stricken 50 sorely
dwell
In fairer city than that which fell.
And all that was lost in that day OF
despair
They have braveiy reclaimed and glori-
fled there.
The high hills CLEAN that were desolate.
And riches stream through the Golden
Gate: M
A splendid city superbly planned
Sends forth her greeting to every land,
And fleets are sailing from every shore
To the far-famed city that srieves no
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

AS a side issue to the New York vice
graft investigations which has been on for
months, the grand jury was examining
witnesses along a new line, connected
with the taxicab privileges in the city,
and evidence so far presented is said to
indicate that hotel managers, city Off
cials and men connected with the police
department have had free taxicab rides
aggregating more than 100000 a year. A
thorough probe into charges that men
employed in various city departments held
passes emitting them to ride in the taxi
cabs free is promised as we'll as an inves-
tigation of the reported acceptance Of
presents" by policemen stationed near
taxicab stands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
THE FIRST "BEAR DANCE" in PARIS

The shepherdess took one of Tom s
paws and the columbine the other. Tom,
for his part, like an accomplished cava-
lier, walked between his two partners.
glancing at them with looks of surprise,
and soon found himself with them in
the middle of the pit of the theatre.
which was used as a ballroom. The
band struck up.
The minuet was Toms greatest tri-
umph and Fans masterpiece and with
the very first steps success was as
sured and went on increasing with each
movement until at the last figure the
applause became delirious. Tom was
swept off In triumph to a stage box
where the shepherdess, removing her
wreath of roses, crowned him with ii,
whilst the whole theatre resounded
with applause.
But in little while the enthusiasm
died down, and an hour later Tom was
alone. So .heeting is public favor.
And now the hour of departure drew
near. The pit was thinning and the
boxes empty when the box opener, who
was going her rounds heard snoring in
one of the stage boxes. Tom had fall
len fast asleep on the floor. The box
keeper stepped in and politely limited
that it was time to go home
"Grrroon," said Tom
"Come. comet This Is no time to
make believe. Shall l send for cab
for your And shook him by the shoul-
der
"Oh, that's what you're after, is it?f
Fie, Monsieur Odry. fie! I shall call the
guard. Help. help policel inspector,
helpv'
Come come, my friend" said the
sergeant of the guard. who had come
running. I'VE all know what it is to be
young, but rules are rules, and the hour
for going home has struck"
They prodded him with the stocks of
their muskets and then:
Il say, sergeant. it strikes me he's a
real bear. ! caught hold of him by the
collar just now and the skin seems to
grow on the flesh"
ut is certainly a real snout," declared
the sergeant.
Around his neck they found little
bag; In 1t card that said
My name is Tom. / live at No.
100 Rue Faubourg, ST. Denis
have five francs in my purse for
whosoever takes me home
They took him, and the same day
Odry the actor received cake bill Of
seven francs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
TAPERING OFF

"Bibbles tells me he is on the water
wagon"
I'm sure BIBLES didn't mean to de-
ceive you, but he has been drinking
strong waters so long that what he's on
now seems like the water wagon"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Beware of slim men, for they're cranky
ninety-nine times out OF every hundred, y
Is the warning given by Mrs. Blanche Mae
Chandler of Revere. Mass, the profess
sional nurse who recently said that earn
ing ones own living was far easier task
than being a wife. Mrs. Chandler is be-
ing sued for divorce. Never marry"
she said, until you are certain that the
man you intend choosing has perfect
poise, both mentally and physically
Stout women should never marry slim
men. Couples engaging in marriage
should understand each other and be for
tilted with a knowledge of the classics
politics, ETC., so that they may hold In
telligent discussions on topics of the day"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Bulgarian colors have fallen back to
spring nectllies and are contents The
war is over.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

through space is sufficient to keep 1t
going for great many centuries after
| have ceased to be-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
A MODIFIED EGO

Il suppose you think this world
couldn't go on without you?"
I'm sure this world could go on with
out me. The centrifugal force which
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

There was no grape Juice at Mrs. Will
sons garden party 1t is said there was
a punch in the punch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

It Is a felony in Ohio to carry a pistol,
and no one carries one outside of foot
pads, burglars and the like who know no
law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
THRICE BLEST

That man at heart should still be gay.
His lucky stars should thank,
Who starts upon life's toilsome way
With money in the bank
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

One state should not try to get At sisters
There is nothing sisterly in such step.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

The passage of the tariff bill in a stand
pat Senate is slow process. 1t calls for
patience and a paddle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

The two great farewell tour artists are
in New York-Buffalo Bill and Madame
Sarah Bernhardt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Secretary Bryan'e peace plans are more
popular than his grape juice departure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

When the canalfis full of wetness tn,
rest of the zone viii go dry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Grape juice may be cheaper than cham
pagne, but it costs far more than water.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Not few medical experts consider DR.
Friedmann's remedy q mock-turtle ser
um.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Harvard begins to see that its nose /:
out of joint--these are Princeton years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

Panama is coming, and the Birmingham
district has a great task before 1t. Wake
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
REVIVED

How wondrous fair this world appears
When Hope has brushed away our tears
And hearts once citadels of pain
Are brimmed with happiness again!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
PREPoSTERoUS


There goes a woman who makes
living on the stage"
I'm musical comedy?"
with that figure? Heavens, nor
WON'T LET US TALK
The chesty man
Who's stuffed with pride,
Try all we can,
We can't abide.
HOW SWEET
How sweet 'twould be
To take a trip
And never have
To give tip.
Birmingham Age-Herald
How sweet 'twould be
To take a dip
And never fear
The suit might rip
youngstown Telegram.
How sweet 'twould be
To sail a ship
And on your break
Fast hold your grip.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
How sweet 'twould be
To have a hip
That wouldn't let
Your trousers slip.
-Sprin gfield Union.
How sweet 'twould be
To have a lip
That wouldn't be
So free and flip.
-Yonkers Statesman
How sweet 'twould be
To take a nip
And not have the
World rock and tip.
Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
IMPROVED SOMEWHAT.

Il saw Lokeby last night"
was he the worse for liquor?"
mo. He seemed to be quite amiable. -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

In New York the combination is wine
women and Sing Sing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

The new tariff Is up against old guard
senators in dark alleys.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

'Banty'-the rooster-meets me at the
door and crows loudly as if to say, Good
afternoon Mrs. Banty has very little
to say and tries to keep in the back
ground as much as possible, but Banty,
though he is but little larger than an or
dinary minute, Is always eager for a
fight. He is 'cock'-o-the-w walk on Morris
avenue, and no rooster has yet been found
that could get the better of him H. a
scrap. Fowls weighing at least four
times as much as this chesty little ban
tam have been humhled by him many
times.
Nearly everyone who passes by the
store has a pleasant word for the minia-
ture chickens and they are great nets.
Mr.. Wade has refused $3.50 for the rooster
alone, and says that there is not enough
money in Birmingham to buy his pets"
Southern sympathy With California
'The alien land bill question in Cali
fornia, which at present attracts the at
tention of the civilized world, has aroused
southern sympathy for the Californians
distinctly on the race question" snid
Percy Clark, land there are some side
lights highly interesting bearing upon the
question.
''It is probably true that California.
among the older western states, has more
Anglo-Saxon blood IN it than any other
The reason is not difficult of elucida-
ton. Back in 40, wnen gold was first
discovered on the Pacific coast, there
were tens of thousands of men in the
Piedmont region Of North Carolina, Geor
gia and Alabama engaged in gold mining
in the primitive way-that is, panning, log
washing and place:ing generally. The
old hand marian, the forerunner of the
stamp mill. was in use. Now the gold
fever is the most remarkable thing that
strikes a section or ascamp. It makes
busy camps in weeks time; it depopu-
lates. almost in nights time, conlniun-
tiles engaged in mining gold This was
distinctly true in 1S49. In Cleburne
county, Alabama, there were possibly
10000 men engaged in mining for tho sol-
dsR -srains and nuggets. There was 4
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
"BanfYV

Wade Brothers Produce company has
little bantam rooster and bantam
hen, and these two fowls are constant.
source of amusement to all customers and
other visitors" said a newspaper man.
II have occasion to call by Wade Bros.
aearlY every. afternoon, and every day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
QUITE IMPOSSIBLE

"A thing like that couldn't happen in
real life"
Il should say notl 1t couldn't even
happen in the movies"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18
THE SUFFs

SUITS
How doth the busy sufragette
Improve each shining minute;
Whene'er she sees a letter box
She drops some acid in it.
Peoria Herald Transcript.
How doth the busy suffragette
EXcitedly go to it:
Whenever she beholds plate glass
She throws hatchet through it.
Detroit Free Press.
Why doth the busy suffragette
Persist in cutting capers?
All, bless your SOUL that's how she gets
Into the daily papers.
Youngstown Telegram.
A suffragette leaves bombs around.
Then satisfaction loses;
They won't explode. because. you sec,
She's careless bout the fuses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-18

ANNOUNCED
When Evelyn Thaw
Goes back on the stage,
1t is safe to assume
That she'll be quite the rage.
She'll receive big pay
For doing her part,
But we'll just have to smile
When she talks about art"