davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Hits Innocent "Bysitter''

Mrs. Washington see, Albert
didn't know George and George didn't
know Albert. He hadn't seen us get
on together, and, not knowing Albert
was my husband, George struck back
at him.
O. Did he hit him?
A. No. Mr.. Visky, having been hit
once, naturally got up. He stood up
in time to get Georges blow there on
the other eye with the mourning band
around it.
Mr.. acosvisky-Indeed / did. l
couldn't get out nohow.
Court Attendant-Shut up and 81
lence.
Mrs. Waskum-There was quite a
fight Reminded me OF a suffrage
election in Kansas. Women stood up
and screamed, and l tried to sepa-
rate George and Albert, SO could
properly introduce them.
Mr.. Waskum-Judge, you can read
lily imagine my surprise when l turned
and saw a street car conductor kiss
ing my wife. You see, George Alex
ius, my wife's cousin from Kansas,
came to New York three or four
weeks ago. My wife's folks wrote
us he was coming, but he didn't show
I'D around our apartment He's Q
proud sort Of boy, and rather than put
up on his relatives he took the only
Job he could find, that of a street car
conductor. l had never seen him I'M
til saw him kissing my wife. Natu.
rally / struck outs at him, and Ny.
Abrahamvisky got in the way.
George Alexius-I always hated
persons who would sponge" on their
wealthy relatives, so when came
here / didn't go out to see them.
Naturally when l saw my favorite
cousin / kissed her. l shouldn't have
done it, but l was always impulsive
that way, so / leaned down and
smacked her, just to surprise her.
The Magistrate-Call the complain
ant.
Mr.. Jacosvisky-Tm the complain
ant. Look at my eyes. had EN-
arrested while they was getting in
troduced. / was the innocent by.
sitter. / get all the blows.
Mr.. Waskum-We apologized to
him after it was all over.
The Magistrate-Case dismissed;
next.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

- Is hardly any wonder that after
having spent . great many try
ing years In being discovered,
Americans should at last have
taken a notion for turning the
tables and going over to discover Eu-
rope, writer in the New York Times
observes. Indeed, 1t was only to be
expected and there is no denying that
It has yielded many results. some of
them amazing. some delightful. some
both.
A great many of those European
cities, for instance, had been going
for years-one might say centuries
under the impression that they repre-
sented this or that development or
phase of culture or characteristic, and
that their people and customs had
certain accepted advantages or spe-
cialties. 1t is usually the way with
people who are housed up by them
selves. with ever a fresh eye leveled
at them and never a fresh tongue to
tell them what the fresh eye saw.
Since the coming OF the new kind Of
American traveller, however, European
cities have had an opportunity to see
themselves in a somewhat new light.
And most of them have taken advan-
tage of this outside point of view.
Nearly every city in Europe has
now set apart at least one street or
avenue where 1t may be seen as the
American Columbus has seen it. In
Paris this is the avenue de pOpera;
in Berlin the Friedrichstrasse and
the passage; in Munich Karlsplatz
and the shoyt winding way leading
from there to Odeonsplatz; In Rome
1t is the Corso; In Florence the Via
Tornabuoni
Discoveries Made In Italy.
1t is in Florence, particularly, that
one would like to call attention to
American discoveries, for. in spite
of the drawing power which Paris has
on the imagination of the new world.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
WITH EYE TO THE DIVIDENDS
Conductor Felt Obliged to Charge Pas
seneer for Rent, II Not for
Transportation.

They iolted alung for about two
then, with a mighty jerk, the car came
to a dead stop. When it had stood
motionless for over half an hour the
man conceived the brilliant idea Of
trying to get uptown by means Of
some other line, and he approached
the conductor in a friendly manner.
and asked him to give him his money
back. The conductor did not re-
spond in like fraternal spirit.
Cant do it," he said.
'Oh, now, see here" the man ar
gued. This is not right, you know.
l rode less than two blocks in your
old car, and it is barefaced robbery
to take a mans money for little
iaunt like that"
And then was when the conductor
got in his deadly work.
Il amt chargin' you for the ride"
ne said. Amt you been sittin' here
amt you willin' to pay for that? You
can't go in any place in this town
without payin' rent, and you might as
we'll pay in nice. comfortable street
Jar as any place else"
We'll, I'm blessed" said the man,
and the idea of paying rent in a
street car as being so novel and so
thrilled him with such appreciation
Of favors received that he went away
without even thinking of his nickel
again.-Chicago Record-Herald.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

n HICAGO.-The flaming red neck.
~ tie which used to cast a crimson
reflection on the much scrubbed chin
Of Andy Hatrack, the Gary schoolboy
who won the cleanliness champion
ship OF his town. no longer casts a
roseate glow on the Hatrack chin.
One reason for this is that, as a Chi
cago Judge recently remarked apropos
of dirty faces on growing boys. dirt
casts no reflection" Another reason
is that the necktie is no longer red.
Yes. freedom has marked an awful
change in or rather on Andy and I'M
less he falls into the lake or a wash
tub before Miss Laura Knaggs. his
teacher. returns from her vacation.
she will not recognize the pupil who
won a red necktie and worldwide
fame in the clean face contest in the
Gary schools.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

travel clean, see? Me and me spar
ring pardner just come out O. that
swell boardin' factory there, get it?
says to a bell-hop, says, we got to
unwrap this package of SCOT. So he
leads US to the Mushroom, we strips
down to the belt and goes through
the motions just like them guys that's
playin' four bucks a day for a brass
bed and a hunting scene on the wall.
See this here hair cut?" continued
the lecturer. He exhibited a nicely
trimmed dome, correctly moulded
about the ears. I'VE gets that in the
free chairs In the College for BARRIERS
in Cleveland.
Before the reporter was led out of
his third paroxysm he was gently told
that he had delivered up II cents, his
police badge. and two theater passes.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

The Slate Creek peach grower did q
rapid-fire calculation and then timo-
rously offered to take the strangers
share of the building OF his hands
for $S9-the total Of his roll.
The stranger hesitated to take ad-
vantage Of his new-found friend, not
that the building was not worth a
thousand times as much. he said. but
he didn't like to impose on good ma
ture. Jasper told him not to worry
about that end Of the bargain. Then
the neatly dressed one reluctantly
made out deed" for one-half Of
the skyscraper. handed It to Jasper.
took the money and made himself
scarce.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

the deus in machina discovers b.
some means or other that the car has
stopped. He uniatches the lattices
unbolts the doors. throws open the
easement. let's down the portcullis and
announces that one has arrived
With the dazed expression Of Laf
arus in the first moment OF resurrec'
tion the passenger steps hesitatingly
out A considerable distance ahead
he sees some natives who entered the
building at the same time he did ana
who walked up the stairs. They 90
not laugh. They respect the Amer
lean for his wonderful inventions aao
realize that he must have bis home
comforts and arrangements whether
they seem an advantage or not u
fact. the lift in the Ufizi is one Of ne
sights In Florence for the inhabitants
and they often go there to see
mount upward in its majestic nignL
thinking the while how clever Amsr
leans we're to have discovered that
should be there.
In spite Of the iptent to make .
scientific meal Of the old masters
taking them in courses and digesilns
them thoroughly. most Americans
find themselves so busy discoverlns
other things when they get TO Flo''
ence that after a while the mere men
ton OF an oil painting or a gale
will cause an unexpected food Of 70
sentiment.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
FIGHT PISTOL DUEL
AT A 6O-MILE CLIP
Mystery In Revolver Battle Which
Took Place Between 0ccu-
pants of Speeding Autos.

Hegewisch, nl.-Mystery surround
a revolver battle which took place be
tween the occupants Of two speeding
automobiles the other night. and the
police are conducting a city-wide
search for the participants in the af-
fray. 1t is believed that a kidnapping
might have been responsible for the
exciting chase.
Policeman George Jones was stand
ing at Tooth street and Avenue L
when he heard the revolver shots
coming from Ewing avenue. a block
away. Two automobiles flashed by at
a speed of so miles an hour. The
first car contained two men and three
women and the second contained
three men. Jones ran to Ewing ave
nue., where spectators of the shooting
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Valuable European Forests.

Throughout Europe the forests have
been cared for with the greatest atten-
ton for centuries until today they
constitute an immense source of the
national wealth of many countries.
The best developed forests in the
world are those of Germany. The
public and private forests of Germany
are at present valued at $4,000. 900, 900.
in Austria the state forests comprise
100000 acres. The French govern
ment also derives immense wealth
from the state forests and controls at
present some 100000 acres.-The
Christian Herald.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
sponq. Is a Deep Sea Animal.

Few people realize the sponge is
really a marine animal. If one could
take trip to the Mediterranean one
would be extremely interested at the
sponge fisheries there.
When the sponge is taken from the
water it resembles piece of raw
meat 1t is covered with thick out
er skin under which is a glutinous
substance not unlike molasses. This
Is called the milk of the sponge and
is quickly drained out, otherwise de-
composition would set In and make
the article useless. Next the sponge
is soaked in a bath of Condy and aft
erwards comes the process of sorting.
clipping and bleaching.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

and with a manner promising an -.
coming attack OF nervous prostr.,,..
he demands the tickets which en,,,s-
the bearer to one single trim aIoe,
Round trip tickets, be It noted -
never sold. because lifts are 70, NJ
ing, now lowering, humanity. and ~.
is expected to walk down.
Ordeal Of "Golno Up"
While the lift is being packed vI,h
intended travellers German M,
stalk in and bring the case Of nervon.
prostration almost into the class !,
violent epilepsy by refusing to pro.
duce a ticket.
"Ach, tickets, tickets!" says be. m
a fury. Here are your two sol5I
go buy the ticket yourself"
The boy, quick to act on the ana.
gestion. leaps out of the elevato,
and, shutting and locking the doo,
of II on TIE outside so that those Al.
ready in cannot escape and those
outside cannot steal in, he goes on a
buy the Germans ticket.
After he has returned, packed /,
his full cargo of fifteen souls, closed
all the doors and battened ever.
thing down with an attention to d
tail that is used in preparing a shin
for a transatlantic voyage, he presse,
a mysterious button with an air a
awful import. and before one can
quite count twenty the mighty vehicls
begins almost imperceptibly to rise
II one could only see the view as
one glides upward-the lift shaft d
not inclosed and the car Is always
visible until a tiny speck. II dlssp
pears through the ceiling above. But
there is no view for the incased ones,
as all the doors and windows Of the
lift are Of ground glass The oocn
pants have merely to look at another
and to hope and pray.
Finally. after the passage of several
of the mighty spices which separais
floor and ceiling in Florentine palaces
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
EEL DRAGS BOY INTO WATER
Fish Puts Up Fight and Young Fish
erman Only Is Saved by
Friend.

Hastings on Hudson, N. Y.-"Joe"
Williams. twelve years old. was at.
tackled the other day by an eel when
fishing in the Hudson river Williams
caught the eel just back Of the head
He thought 1t was exhausted. but the
eel was very much alive. 1t slapped
it's tail around Williams legs and
knocked him off his feet. and he and
the eel fell into water three feet deep.
A companion of the fisherman man.
aged to get him out of the water with
the cells tail still around Williams
right leg. The eel weighs younds.
is 8 feet long and inches in diam
eter at the largest part.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Distinctly Absurd.

Senator Smoot said of a lobby story
the other day:
why, the things as absurd as the
story Of the Roman visitor.
"A Boston girl, visiting Rome last
summer. said to a waiter. as she ate a
cassata siciliana at the Cafe Nazion-
ale in the Corso:
Waiter. II was this cafe. was II
not, that Keats and Shelley used to
frequent?
The waiter frowned. meditated a
moment. then smiled joyfully and
said:
"'Ah, yes, to be sure, signorina!
Keats and Shelley! There they are
now, signorina, the two fat men at
the corner table. drinking beer and
eating strawberry tarts. The bald
head is Keats, and the other with the
long beard is Shelley"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
BEANS COOKED BY LIGHTNING
Truck Farmer on Outskirts Of the
National Capital Almost Out
Burbanks Burbank.

Washington.-A farmer in Wash
ington's outskirts has contributed the
latest aid to a reduced cost of living
He is William Williams. a trucker.
who went out to gather some string
beans for the family table the other
day. Much to his surprise. he discov-
cred that they were deliciously cook
ed. He thought for a time that he
had out-Burbanked Burbank. but a
little reflection divulged the reason.
In planting he had placed wires be-
tween the poles. and during recent
storm lightning struck the wires and
cooked the beans.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Kissed Cousin; Husband
NEW YORK.-Title-"When George
~ Kisses His Cousin"
Place-West Side Police Court.

~ Kisses HIS COUSIN.
Place-West Side Police Court.
Skitters in the Skit-George Alex
ius, conductor of an Eighth avenue
surface car. Mrs. Albert Waskum,
cousin of George. Mr.. Albert Was
KUN, indignant husband. Abraham
Jacosvisky, the innocent bysitter. "
Magistrate, court attendants, police
men, lawyers, rowdies and newspaper
men.
Mrs. Waskum-We got on the car
at Eighth avenue and Thirty-seventh
street to go to our apartment in Cen
trail Park West.
Her Lawyer-Was the car crowd.
ed?
A. Yes.
@. When did you first realize that
the conductor was your cousin?
A. Not until he kissed me.
q. When had you previously seen
him?
A. Three years before, at our home
in Kansas.
@. When he kissed you what hap
pened!
A. Things happened so fast l can
scarcely describe them. Mr.. Waskum
sitting next to me, suddenly turned
and saw the conductor kissing me.
Q. What did he do?
A. He rose from his seat. drew back
his fist and struck.
Q. Did he hit your cousin?
A. No George saw him draw back
and when the blow came he lodged
II got Mr.. Visky there on the eye with
the mourning band around 1t.
Mr.. Jacosvisky Tin a whisper &c
court attendant)-Don't let her cal
me Visky. Don't let addition OF In
suit be added to injury.
Court observation-disclosures and shut
up.
Her Lawyer-Proceed with your
story.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
DI.d TrvIno 70 Save rwo.

Fort Worth. Tex.-John Moon, thir-
ty-five years old and the father of FIVE
children. sacrificed his life in trying
to save two girls from drowning.
Mrs. Elsie Moon. his sister-in-law. if-
teen years old, bride of two weeks.
also lost her life. being one of the two
he attempted to save. Moon attempt
ed to drag the girls ashore and in
their excitement they grabbed hiro
around the neck and all went down
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26

ing in the sun, shrilly shrieking Get
outi Get Quit"
The crows are deserving Mr.
Doughty's fields for those of other
farmers where the worst they have
to contend with is some efigy Of a
tramp they know by instinct to be
harmless, or. in rare instances. a
barefoot country boy with a rusty
shotgun
Meantime farmers from near and
far are fiocking to the Doughty farm
to watch Poll do its stunt.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Doc Had AnnetIte for chIeksn.

A chicken-stealing dog, in the Dunn
barton (Scotland) district, recently O.
casioned some anxiety to a number q
hen keepers. On a thorough search
being made a number of fowls wels
recovered buried in a field. Somo
fowls were eaten. and those not 70
quired for immediate use we're hidden,
1t was discovered that the cause o.
the trouble was a large black LaDIs'
dor dog, which has been roaming 'ne
district at will for several weeks.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Coughs Safety Pin From rbro,,

Zepp, Pa.-When doctors had failed
for almost two weeks to coax from his
throat a safety pin swallowed point
downward, a chance coughing At
brought relief to H. R. Santmyer. The
cough was so violent the pin few
across the room into corner SAINT.
myer was about to be operated upon
when he dislodged the trouble-maker.
His first step was to eat a prodigious
dinner.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Punished Perjury with Death.

The early Romans threw perjurers
from the Tarpeian rock. high cliff.
falling from which was certain death.
ard at a later period any person VINO
swore falsely was sentenced to have
his tongue cut out. which also was
equivalent to death.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Habit Of Thouohs.

The equator is an imaginary llns
running around the earth" said tns
boy who likes to tell what be pa
learned at school.
An imaginary line" repeated ins
gseat railway financier, absent-min0eo'
ly. Who is promoting it?"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
Hioh Prices for eruesome Relics.

Gruesome relics we're sold In
Paris auction room the other day:
One was that OF the petrined body Q.
Patagonian slain In battle seyef~
thousand years ago. The price wa'
$3.50. Head Of Indian cut on In oaF
tie, $265; two books. one bound Id 'ne
skin of a white woman. the other ~
the skin of a negress. 500.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-09-26
LOGICAL Result.

Mrs Faddy-My husband say
money is tight jnst now.
Mrs Gaddy-I suppose that Is ~
reason my husband never has ~
loose chanF
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-02-13
. 500 Reward, 500

The readers Of this paper will bt
pleased to learn that there Is at least one
dreaded disease that science has beer
able to cure in all its stages. and that is
Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure Is the only
positive cure now known to the medica
fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutions
disease, requires a constitutional treat
ment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in.
ternally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system, there
by destroying the foundation of the dis.
EASE and giying the patient strength by
nature In doing its work. The proprietors
have so much faith in its curative pow.
ers that they offer One Hundred Dollars
for list of testimonials.
Address r. j. CHENEY q CO., Toledo, Ohio
Sold hy I'll Dru~riot7, -.
Take Halls Family rllls for constipation.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-02-13
SHACKELTON.
Feb. 10, 1913


Ed CLANCY and family spent Mon.
day night with Sam Robinson and
family.
John Lemon and wife entertained to
dinner Sunday, Alvin Lemon and wife,
Henry Saum and wife, of Fairview,
and Joe Siddon and wife, of Hillsboro.
Ed Pence and wife spent Friday
night with the latter's mother, Mrs
Lamonda, of near Pricetown, who is
seriously ill.
Lewis Pence and wife, of Danville,
were guests of P w. Charles and wife,
Sunday.
Mrs General Pence and two sons,
Mrs. Wesley Pence and Stella Ore
baugh visited Mrs. Will Pence, of
Hillsboro, Tuesday.
James K. Polk and wife, of Willett
vile, spent Sunday with Allen Robin
son and family.
Albert Ruble, Of Norwood, spent
Saturday night and Sunday with
Frank Orebaugh and family.
Wright Fawley was the guest of his
father, Noah Fawley, Friday.
Alva OvermaD, Ralph Pierce anC
lady friend, of Hillsboro, were the
guests of Miss Rose Trop, Sunday.
Mrs, Ed Chaney. of Dunn's Chanel
visited her daughter, Mrs. Harley
Cluff, Wednesday.
Robert Polk and family, of Hills
boro, took dinner with General Pence
and family, Sunday.
Joe Barnett and wife spent SUNDAY
with Ed Pence and family.
Mrs. Mary Berlin, of HIlsboro
spent Sunday with Ellis Wilkin anC
family.
Miss Ethel Robinson spent FRIDAY
afternoon at the home of Genera
Pence.
His many friends in this community
were shocked to hear of the death Of
Uncle Abreham Wilkin, which oc
cured Friday morning at the home oi
his son, Nathaniel. He was aged 81
years, 2 months and 81 days. Funera
services were held at Mt. Zion Sunday,
conducted by Rev. Horn, interment
in the Mt. Zion cemetery.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-02-13
HARRISBURG.
Feb. 10, 1918.

reU III, 1910.
Mrs. T. A. Malcolm, of Westboro, is
lying very sick at the home of her
mother. She came on a visit and was
taken suddenly i'll.
Mrs. q. L. Sanders and Mrs. Burton
Vance spent Friday with D. E. Vance
and family.
j. o. Harris and wife and G. d. Har-
ris and wife visited Wilbur Harris and
family, at Lumberton, Wednesday.
John Booth and family, of Swine
Valley, we're guests of Homer Sanders
and family, Sunday.
Miss Matte Griffith, of Springfield,
visited Ben Igo and wife, Saturday
night
NJ. E. Harris and daughter, Clara,
called on w. E. Brewer and family, at
New Market, last Wednesday.
Mrs. D. U. Emery, of Jacktown, spent
several days here last week with her
mother.
Cyrus Griffith and wife entertained
the following guests at dinner Sunday
in honor of their daughter, Martha,
of Springfield; c D. Vance and wife,
Leslie Griffith and family, of Buckley
John Gritiith and family, of Berryville
Ben 1go and wife, Earl Roberts and D.
Wilson and family.
Chas. Garen and wife, of New Mar
ket, spent Sunday with W. M. Hughes
and family.
A. l.. Anderson spent last week with
his family at Hillsboro.
Miss Lizzie Anderson, of Hillsboro
spent last week with her father on thu
farm.
Bowen Vance and sister, Mrs. Nc
Reynolds, of New Market, spent Mon.
day with T. R. Vance and wife.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-02-13
DUNN'S CHAPEL.
Feb. 10, 1918.

Feb. 10, 1918.
Steward Burton and family spent
Sunday with Lew Frost and family.
Ed Griffith and wife and son, Jesse,
Cliff Harris and wife and daughter.
Helen, visited f. L, Crosen and family
Sunday.
Chas McCreight and wife spent last
Sunday with her parents, at Martins
vile.
Chas. Scott and wife attended the
funeral of Abe Wilkin Sunday.
+. L. Crosen and wife and daughter,
Leanna, spent Wednesday with Chas.
Moore and family, at Hillsboro.
Steward Burton and wife visited his
brother, Frank, at Russell, Wednesday.
Arthur Hixson moved to A. w.
Hatcher's house, in Willettsyill e.
Wednesday.