The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-04-07
ABatch ofSmiles

\ story of extra ordinary deafness
was recently related at Il meeting OF Il
medical society in Philadelphia. An
elderly lady. exceedingly hard of hear
Ing. lived near the river. One after
noon a warship fired a salute Of ten
guns. The woman. alone in her little
house. waited until the booming ceas-
ed. Then h smoothed her dress,
brushed back her hair, and said
Come in."-lcverybody's Marianne.
Two friends-a l.ondoncr and a
Scotsrnan-happened to be lunching
together recently in il certain rcstaur-
ant. The latter, true to his natural
hablt. Kept turning to see that his hat
and coat remained still ON the peg
where he had left them.
You are Il. suspicious chap said
his friend at last.
VINO do you think is going to walk
in here and steal our coats::'
Cant say replied the Scotsman.
but Ill take good care that nobody
gets mine! Yours Went ten minutes
ago."
An American tourist was contem-
plating-from the %outside--a quaint
old chapel in n OF. the cathedral
towns of England. In a nearby spire
Il chimes began to ring. a veneer
able clergyman issued from the ivy
covered pile, and observing the look
Of rapt attention upon the strangers
ot his heart, to approach and engage
MIN in conversation appropriate to the
time and the place.
MY friend,' he began, "does not
the sound Of those sweet bells fall like
Il bcnediction upon the soul??'
n American gszed at him blankly
in order to hear better.
which" he inquired.
n old rector raised his voice and
shouted louder.
II y ~ that those lovely chimes
seem TO float down to use like a mes-
sage Of love and peace from on high.
10 Q not agree with me that theirs
is q message from h%eaycn?"
I'm sorry" said the visitor, "but
still! don't seem to get you."
n clergyman made a funnel of his
hand in front of his mouth.
II merely wished to ask you if YOU,
too. did not fee that the music COM
ing from that tower yonder was truly
and beauty and glorious tidingsY"
Mister explained the American.
the truth Of tine matter is that those
durncd bells make so much racket l
can't hear II word you say.''-Saturday
Evening Post.
Woodrow Wilson has an extremely
quick wit, it is said. A man. in the
course Of an animated conversation,
noticing that Mr.. Wilson'S Eyeglasses
were perched perilously near the tip
OF his nose. Remarked: Your glass
es. governor, are almost on your
mouth"
ssThats, I'll ~:-l,A - $1,000 ~
sponEe. II want to- see what I am talk
ing about"
A boy was overheard saying to his
seven?"
OF course; there was no response
from the rabbit.
Still there was no response.
Nov. Will give YOU an easy one
How much is two time two?" Still
the rabbit refused to respond.
Well" said tho little boy, II knew
father was hbbing when he said rab-
bits are the greatest m%ultipliers in the
world."-Harper's Weekly.
The precise but somewhat broken
English Of Nine. Heink IL
one of her charms. While in a wes.-
ern city she found herself in immcdi-
ate need OF toilet powder. In her prac-
teal way she stepped into a drug store
herself to buy It..
Twill o have II scented?" injured
the clerk.
mo. 1 will take it vid me-" crisp,y
replied the great singer.
In a Washington club some time
since a member of the senate surtcd
to light a cigar. but became 40 cn-
crossed In some other thought that he
forgot the burning match in his hand
until the flame reached his finger.
Whcrcat Attorney General Wicker
sham smiled.
IA case Ut observation-disclosures" he