Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1913-01-17
CLUBS WERE TRUMPS
FROM JUDGE.

He looked Ike a gentleman gone 70
seed Though patched and srayed az
TO clothing he was immaculate both
in dress and person. He sat upon the
kitchen doorstep, Smelling peas. His
expression betokened reconciled des-
pair
BE so kind" he said meekly. but
emphatically, "as not to utter the
word club TO me. sir. The induce
ments that could tempt me TO join any
kind OF association whatever do not
exist"
Before saying more. he glanced ap-
prehensively over his shoulder. Then
he explained in low tone:
TO clubs are due all my mistor-
tunes: and I endure sufficient, l as
sure you. When was young man
and that seems centuries ago--this
village passed through an epidemic Of
clubs. How or why the pestilence
broke out, no one knows But sud
denly every one was forming them
joining them, canvassing for them
There was the Farmers club, the
Housewives club. the Card club the
Glee club and & score OF others EV-
cry organization had its badge. ano
some OF my neighbors proudly wore
five or six
AT that time I was Just young
enough TO know all about life. and ]
was certain that It offered no prize
like personal liberty. Consequently
was a confirmed bachelor-and rather
prone to boast OF It, I fear Ny asso-
ciates were all young men who pro
claimed loudly that they scorned the
female sex. Each had been most
cruelty rejected by some false-hearted
charmer and when they organized the
Bachelors club the receipt Of one re-
lection al least was made qualifica-
ton for membership. I was eager 10
join. but this excluded me.
Isn't there a way TO get around
the ruler I asked Lon Pendleton,
president
No he replied. We mustn't be
gin that way Don't try to get around
it-iust qualify
Propose TO some one?
Certainly
Suppose I an aceptedT
You needn't be afraid or that he
replied; then. noticing my look. lame
" added, select some one who doesn't
like you. l mean
That was easily done. Salina
Briggs and 1 had been sworn enemies
since we went barefooted TO the dis
trict school She was bigger than the
teacher then, and I called her Jumbo
She retaliated by calling me Whiffet
The years that had added TO her bulk
and coarseRess had left me under
sized. but q gentleman and (hemD
scholar"
He sent q quick. sensitive glance
into ny eyes. and I bowed gravely-
whenever We CHANGED to pass on
the street. she would make some audi
lie remark about ne to raise the
laughter Of the congenial friends
around her. and her vulgar laugh
would raise above them all and follow
me farthest
'Loathing her as I did nothing ex-
cept my great desire 10 join the Bach
elors' club could have made me ad-
dress her-let alone upon such a sub
feet. But in those DAYS when I want
ed a thing I went II blind as the say
ing IS. Moreover. I was sure that
Selma would consider my proposal a
toke-perhaps the result Of wager
and this knew would enrage her be
yond measure"
He was silent so long. gazing miser-
ably into space. that I was obliged to
speak to him. He looked up pathet-
ically and whispered:
"She said yes"
And you" I ventured.
q am a gentleman" he returned.
and I nodded.
IF it isn't-er" I began, after a
Long pause
Not at all" he answered she was
mad to jsin the Matrons' club. that's
all"
Before could utter 2 word Of sym
patty. an untidy head appeared at the
door and A coarse voice cried;
John HeRnery, be them peas done
yit?"
And as I passed through the gate I
heard in gentle and refined tones.
NO. Selma: they'll be done in q
minute"
,.s.s- MI L.. c--4 radz-,1+fo-