New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-25
AS | WAS SAYING

This is a ladylike world The very babe in arms
observes it, THE walls hung with curtains" en-
plains Brother Chesterton. and they are soft and
swishing like his mothers skirts He would be even
that early age, considerably surprised to find the
walls hung with his fathers trousers"
True, Indeed. conservativey. timdly. tcklshly
true-true with margin left Did not look
when Infantcus discovered the paternal trousers
flung across chair? Did we not behold something
incomparably more poignant than surprise In that
horrorstruck countenance? Tearing his hair and
spouting hot tears. the poor babe let loose long
wild. passionate. ear-sptting bawl Yowwoww
WOW. Ruins OF Daddy.
II is cunning Of Life" to throw kisses at the de-
parting tourists and toady them for going. but we
have read his account Of their motives and find it
curiousy defective. Leaves out the noblest ones.
which are:
/. To poster suffering mariner with, Now
Captain. you WILL. be careful WON'T YOU"
.. To see the Europeans look original when they
say. Doesn't it seem to you that the Yankees are
coming more and more to resemble the American
lndians?'
3. To deface perfectly good suitcase with those
hidcous stickers and serve ms sandwich for Eu-
ropean hotels
{. To count the stairs in tho tower and find that
after all. Baedeker not mistaken.
!. To renew acquaintance with last years hand
organ tunes.
e. To come home to the mosquito and love him by
comparison.
Gently. is his way Mr.. Howells boots our weak
ness for taking off our hat when a woman steps into
the elevator But II is clear that he fails 10 under
stand US. Thinks do it from kind Of chvalrous
politencss. Nay. nay, II Is 10 the other hats
come off. Great sport, Seven polished gentlemen
goaded into civiity with sharp stick and ranspar
entity furious.
Blessings brighten as they take their flight Whole
Zig page in "Harper's Monthly" praising "Harper's
Weekly 10 the skies,
We could wish that in discoursng The Lin
gustic Causes Of Americanisms." Professor Louns-
bury had added footnote their results-such. for
instance. rs this from the prospectus OF Swiss
hotel: English spoken. American understood"
Relief al last! From Miss Mary Shaw learn
that 1t is perfectly possible. many society women
know 10 get drinks now in the fashionable millinery
and dressmaking parlors The lady touches
madame's arm, she goes behind "A screen and the
price of her drinks is added TO her gown and hat"
After this husband will be far more lenient when
those awful rights come home, and he viii believe
the bills
Mr. Edwin c. Martin has given highly In
structve treatise called "Our own Weather" and
ct somehow we remain little uncertain. whereas
there was once a weather expert who dared TO come
out with fine. clean-cut, unequvocal statements,
among them IF it rains three days in succession and
Is cloudy fourth and clears OFF bright and fair the
fifth tie sun will not be visible during the following
night"
Saw large wagon Two darkies driving. on side
Of wagon this legend: Church Of God. Express and
Furniture Moving" Grinnod. but regretted.
Whskers singly. and nj present the
air is filed with them. They the talk Of the day,
nor is IL wholly because of embatted BARRIERS. Even
the Cabinet suffers from whiskers, and a brilliant
apologist s defending Secretary Redheld by shout
ing. What you expect Of man with whiskers
like his?'-as If they not slavish imitation of
Mr. AnthonJ CUmstock's! And now arrives a cable
gram announcing that mustaches have returned 10
favor and almost at the same minute, the revela-
ton that boards cause badness. Dear dear. what
times,
Just to show tie awful length to which whiskers
have gone we suggest that YOU hunt out Or. LYNN
Abbott's portrait in The Lfdes' Home Journal.
gaze at IL fxedly and then, by sudden and adroit
movement, turn the page and see what is on the
other side. H. l.. IL