davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
A $500 DRINK!

Ed A. Goewey, in Leslle's
The most expensive drink imbibed by
a member of a major league team dur
ing the 1918 playing season cost exactly
$6OO.O5. The player who drank the costly
beverage is one of the best men in the
business but he has long shown a. ten
dency to topple from the water wagon at
times when his services We're most needed.
Before signing up with his club for last
spring, he promised not to take drink
during the season. If he kept his word
he was to receive bonus of 5000 from the
owner of the club, who believed that his
outfit stood good chance of being In the
pennant fight and, consequently. was will
ing to offer extra inducements to keep
his men In good condition. The player in
question kept his good resolution for
many weeks, but one day he slipped
from the narrow path and entering sa-
loon, ordered glass of beer. While he
was drinking 1t the wise manager of the
club strolled In to see what was going
on and, taking in the situation at a
glance, informed the surprised and dazed
player that the nickePs worth of forbidden
liquid would cost him the entire bonus
plus the price Of the drink.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Committees EfflcIent work

Now that we have the long needed
auditorium in sight, hearty congratula-
uons are in ORDER" said we'll known
upbuilder last night.
In a general way, the bond issue FOR
providing the auditorium which has been
voted is Chamber of Commerce achieve
ment. President Harding started out at
the beginning of his term to make the
auditorium proposition a go. But the
details of working UP campaign of. edu-
cation were in the hands of Paschal G.
Shook, chairman of the auditorium COM
mittee, and the other members of the
committee. Mr.. Shook labored intelli-
gently and energetically and great credit
is due him. He and his committee GER
tainly did efficient work.
''All Birmingham should rejoice that
within the next few months the audi
torium will be a reality. 1t will be the
largest auditorium in the south"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
From the Atlanta Constitution.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
~ SCAR UNDERWOOD has begun
his campaign for the United
- States senate In Alabama.
Press reports of his reception upon his
arrival in Birmingham told a remark
able story. Every element in the city
turned out to do him honor. Political
friend and foe made common cause in
extending him a ringing welcome. A
more gracious. spontaneous or unaffected
welcome could not have been accorded
any man.
The reason is found in the personality
and the achievements of the man. The
Constitution is unable to conceive that
the same reason will not brush away,
like chaff before Il whirwind, all vestige
of serious opposition to his candidacy for
the United States senate.
Since the civil war the south has not
given the nation a statesman with more
rounded mental and moral equipment,
more tenacious courage or greater
breadth of vision and practical patriot
ism than are possessed by Oscar Under
wood. 1t Is superfiuous to cite specifically
when he declared on the floor of the
house he has so ably led, MY record is
the record of the democratic party"
What he has wrought for the demo-
cratic party and for the nation makes
him stand out pre-eminently as a poll
tical bond between north and south. Other
northerners and southerners have recon-
ciled sectional sentiment. The construc-
tiveness of Underwood has given to the
industrial and commercial interests OF
the sections a common cause.
His public service has not been of the
windy or rhetorical nature. 1t is written
into conservative legislation. The state
of Alabama is sngularly fortunate in
having contributed him to the nation. He
is Alabama s greatest personal asset. Big
and deep of mind, temperate and poised
of personality. there is about him none
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
ALABAMA AND UNDERWOOD

of that mental shoddy that rants from
the stump or forum or that fumbles
great questions with hair trigger logic
He does not depend upon cheap jingosm
to rally popular support. He does not
play to the grand stand. He does not
worship at the shrine of opportunsm. He
does not rely upon unsafe and demagogie
appeals to fanatical emotions. He does
not capitalize human weaknesses nor
strive to mount to office upon every fad
that freshly strikes the minds of the sus-
ceptible
What man is is best known to those
daily touching his elbow. Several days
ago in the House his opponent went out
of his way to bring the charge against
him that he was a tool OF Wall Street."
the time worn ipse dixit resort of every
''one gallus'' politician
it to discredit his opponent. The gag
didn't go in Congress. When Underwood
asked, rs there one man in this cham
Der who believes / am a tool of Wall
street?' the deafening chorus OF noes"
came alike or
and progressives. These men knew that
every action of Underwood had made far
eical the charge Of Wall street affilia-
ton. They knew that the first tariff
schedule he cut was steel, in which his
personal fortune is invested. They knew
that at every turn Underwood went calm
~ about his course without regard to the
threats and Misrepresentation that rained
from the protected interests. They knew
the accusation was preposterous. childish
and unjust. They howled it down!
Viewing these facts clearly and with
out bias, the Constitution has little fear
that Alabama will reject Underwood.
Such an action would not injure Under
wood. 1t would placard Alabama to the
world with a confession that intelligence
is dead, fanaticism Is in the saddle and
that gratitude is forgotten. And there is
not in Alabama enough folly to commit
the state to- such tragic blunder.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
THE POOR RICH
n November Lippincott's.

From November Lippincott's.
The assessor glared at Mr.. Fatchops as
that well known figure in the world Of
big money settled himself in the chair,
and, having polished his gold trimmed
spectacles beamed benightly at his in
quisitor.
you say you have no taxable proper
ty.'' the assessor continued, but you live
In very fine house on very fine street"
''Of course do retorted Mr.. Fat
chops. II have to live somewhere, don't
IL"
Don't try to be flippant, Mr.. Fatchops.
You are the owner of that house, are
you not?"
"Iv' Mr.. Fatchops mouth expanded into
an excited circle. why. bless you,
young man, don't own anything!
''Who does own it, then?"
II believe it belongs to the Fatchops
Realty association"
AREN'T you the Fatchops Really asso-
citation yourself?'
"Oh, no, sir. I'm just minor stock
holder. can show you the books at
any time"
You have an ocean yacht"
mo, sir; but l cruise sometimes in a
boat belonging to the Fatchops Pleasure
and Outing league"
How about that country home in vir-
ginia?"
1T belongs to the Fatchops Country
Life corporation"
And that camp in the Adrondacks?'
1.-The Fatchops Open Air society bought
that from me long ago."
"At least, Mr.. Fatchops, you have some
personal property in the way of stocks
and bonds to declare"
Not one, sir; although understand the
Fatchops Bondholding concern owns sew
eral."
"Then you declare on your oath that
you own absolutely nothing which can
be taxed?"
"Yes, sir, l do"
And stepping into the 60 horse power
motor owned by the Fatchops Touring and
Automobile guild, Mr.. Fatchops proceeded
OF investigate some building lots which
the Fatchops Investment agency had rec
commended most highly to the Fatchops
Joint Stock company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
Mr.. Chinda Explains 1t

Viscount Chinda comes from the
mystic east, and of course he is en-
dowed with all the wisdom that is in
digenous to those parts. Mr.. Chinda is
japanese ambassador to the United
States; therefore he must be handled
with all the deftness and deiicacy one
employs when he touches a cracked
Etruscan vase. The viscount delivered
an address to a society of his coun-
trymen in New York night or so
ago, in which he said:
America knows little of Japan. There
is a common prejudice here against the
Japanese. Prejudices are due to two
causes, malice and ignorance. The first
cannot be remedied, the second can. l
have read many things in your news
papers which are without foundation
and which threaten the great friend
ship of these two nations. Even trivial
acts are magnified.
And he is exactly right about it.
Any cry of America for Americans"
could emanate only from malicious
ignoramuses. AS to "Asia for the
Asiatics," that is very different. 1t is
the slogan of Japan, the home of the
Heaven-b born; ergo, it is just.
America, because of its malice and
ignorance, cannot understand Japan.
But Japan, fraternal and wise, under
stands America And what it under
stands best is that this country is for
ever striving to avoid any semblance
of giving offense to the islanders be-
cause of their supposed supersensitive-
ness. This knowledge comes in mighty
handy in Japan's diplomacy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
MODERN FICTION

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Gwendolen Fudge looked out across the
lawn that undulated to the cracker con-
crete 20 feet away, and her gaze grew
troubled.
A one-cylinder outing car uttered a tl-
berculosis cough as it painfully negotiated
the nearest corner, a newspaper carrier
sat on his wares, laboriously carving a
monkey face on a horse chestnut, bibu-
lous man halted a prim maiden lady to
ask the shortest way out of the dry dis
triet.
1t was all due gray, tiresome
why doesn't he Gomez murmured
Gwendolen Fudge.
She had been married a year, a short,
happy year. She thought of 1t now as she
waited in the doorway for the man who
was not her husband.
And the grass continued to undulate,
and the pavement continued 10 crack, and
the bibulous man caught at the fire hy-
drant as it came round and sat upon It
to hold it down.
'eWhy doesn't he Gomez" whispered
Gwendolen Fudge.
He had promised over the phone to be
there at FIVE; promised on his honor as a
gentleman. Pah, mans honor! And II
was now half-past four
This Is maddening," said Gwendolen
with despairing gesture. Men are all
alike
She had met this man but once. He
looked truthful. They always do.
And then, as she leaned forward, light
wagon ratified around the corner, man
leaped from it and ran up the winding
walk.
"At last" cried Gwendolen. and met him
with outstretched arms
From Greening's grocery" he said, and
handed her a package.
She was giving a little dinner that even
ing and needed the extra pound of but
fer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
Currency Legislation

<Chairman Glass of the House cur
frency committee intimates that the
banking scheme proposed by Frank
A. Vanderlip is red herring drawn
across the trail to bewilder those fol-
lowing the track of reform. Mr.. Glass
deals with Mr.. Vanderlip's proposals
1t length, and he shows that in a
number of most important details the
New York bankers present attitude is
entirely inconsistent with what it was
three months ago. The congressman
fears that Mr.. yanderlip's recommen-
dations at this time are made with
1.-The pupose of deferring or defeating
sany Legislation at all.
q Three democrats, Hitchcock, Reed
md O'Gorman, with the republican
Asmbers of the Senate committee on
mixing and currency, comprise ma
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
LUKE NrLUks SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The reason we pay SO much attention
TO education in this country is because a
school teacher can earn about one-half
as much as a horseshoer.
One reason why women admire real
ostrich tips is because you can't buy them
in a 10-cent store.
In spite of the large number of amateur
detective agencies there are whole lot
of things that are not found out.
When other women stare at her hus-
band during the honeymoon the bride
imagines they are envying her. But she
learns better later on.
Cheer up. Most of the important dis
coveries were made by men who made
mistakes when following set rule.
Some married couples make you wonder
how she beat the Fool Killer to what she
landed.
You can attain reputation for wisdom
If you will refrain from talking when you
have nothing to say.
No matter how much Culture a fat girl
attains she can't sit down without looking
as though she was straining something.
Rudyard Kipling is pretty wise lad.
But you don't always have to go east of
Suez to find men with six-cylinder thirsts.
1t isn't a bit hard to please woman If
you can only get her to make up her mind
what she wants.
He used to be a brother to the OK, but
snice the price of tenderloin has gone up
so high no self-respectng OK will recog-
nize laboripg man.
When the bride does as much worrying
about the price of bacon as she does about
Hubbys chances of becoming President,
the honeymoon begins yelling for oxygen.
A scientist says women are greater
readers than men. Sure they are. man
glances over the first page of paper,
absorbs the sport page and is satisfied.
A woman first looks to see who died yes
terday, then she reads the court news
column then she dives into the advertise
ments and winds up by reading the first
page carefully to see how many husbands
were shot by their wives.
Her Father could give her q two-carat
diamond and it wouldn't look half as good
to her as the ss chip she got from Him.
The red-headed stepchild now has q
playmate He is the offspring of the mil
itant suffragist.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
Politics and Prohibition

The Annistan Star and Hot Blast s
editorial article entitled, eve Can't
Follow This" which was repi oduced in
Yesterdays Age-Herald, was not only
interesting but singularly significant.
The Star and Hot Blast is fearless
and fair and is one of the strongest
exponents of the prohibition idea In
Alabama. 1t had been counted among
the Hobson supporters for the United
States Senate; but Mr.. Underwood
having announced, its viewpoint is
somewhat different.
Referring to the Anti-Saloon
leagues recent address, the Admission
newspaper makes it plain that it can
not follow the prohibition leaders if it
is their intention to inject the pro-
hibition issue in the present cam
paign." The Star and Hot Blast says;
"If prohibition is injected into the SEN
abofldl IdCt piSocilI, ~ may PNNOAAA~
an issue in the gubernatorial race.
This would bring up the ghost of the
amendment election and engulf us in
another campaign of bitterness, vitu-
peration and general Generalization,
with the result that prohibition will
receive backset instead of boost" "
The ringing article referred to
closed as follows:
''In fine, every tendency of the poll
tical situation in Alabama at present
goes to reinforce the plea which this
paper has made for an early primary.
We are having too much politics, and
the best interests of the state demand
that we have an immediate relief from
agitation to prevent the divisions
which must of necessity arise as the
campaign progresses in the direction
it has taken"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
Preserving the Constitution

The expected has happened in the
Mexican elections. A sufficient per-
centage of the voters failed to take
part in the balloting Sunday. Under
the constitution the election must be
held void, and the status quo main
tanned. This means that Huerta will
continue to act as dictator. He has
packed supreme court which will up
hold him, and even. should it fail he
will get another supreme court.
Huerta's contemplated procedure has
been suspected for some time. He has
pretended to keep strictly within the
letter of the law, while at every turn
trampling under foot the rights of the
people.
Some delay may ensue before the
Huerta programme is officially re-
yealed. A new Congress was voted for
Sunday to take the place of the one
now in Jail. 1t will be composed of the
Provisional Presidents minions, and
will reject the result of the balloting
for new executive, even should
Huerta himself be shown to have
polled the most votes.
An announcement of the policy to
be pursued by the United States may
be expected Immediately. 1t is not
worth while to speculate just now
upon what form the pronunciamento
may take. 1t is known, however, that
there is no chance of Huerta or any
mannikin he may name being accord
ed recognition.
The most reassuring news of the
day is that from abroad. Foreign ma
tions are Fastening to make it clear
that they intend to uphold the Ameri-
can government in any action it may
take. Ambassador Page is said to
have been given the completest con-
fidence by Sir Edward Grey, the Brit
ish minister of foreign affairs, and it
has been made clear that Sir Lionel
Garden, the English envoy to Mexico,
has no intention of doing anything
which might embarrass Washington
diplomacy.
The knell of Huerta's dream of en-
pire will ring shortly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
From the Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune.
ONT you ever wonder what be-
l comes of the thousands of chorus
- girls who form the ranks of the
popular musical show?
Don't you ever say to yourself as you
see the perenially fresh faces: What are
all these girls 1 saw last year and the
year before doing now?"
And did you ever guess for minute
that If you could look down below the
stage just one story you would see what
some of these same flowers of yesteryear
are doing?
Down in the dark, dank basement in
a long, narrow passageway or housed in
a tiny room, these same girls bend over
a sewing machine or stoop over huge, be-
cluttered trunks.
They have become the wardrobe mis-
tresses of the large musical shows, and
they must oversee each dress. must care
fully note the wear and tear on each
garment, must mend it when it is torn,
must clean 1t when it is dirty, must pack
it when it is time to move on.
And there in the easements of the
theatres sit many of the most popular
stars of the old favorite operettas. Many
a laughing face that has gladdened the
hearts of the early devotees of Babes in
the wood" and prince of Pilsen" now
is wrinkled and careworn. And the eyes
that were demurely lowered when the
man in the stage box threw admiring
elances now are tired and faded with the
continual strain in the dimness of the
long corridor.
Once an actress, always an actress, Is
what they say and firmly believe. Some
of them leave the stage when they begin
to tire of the minor parts they play and
seem to see no way to the heights OF
stardom Perhaps they marry. but rare
ly a1appily, and if they do not again re-
enter Nthe chorus they look around for
some position that may be open to them
in the old theatrical field.
And so they naturally turn to the ward
robe Most of them, for all their seeming
impracticabillty, are, after all, decidedly
efficient and capable girls. The days of
comparative poverty on S15 week de-
manded that And in those days they
learned how to care for their clothes and
to make dresses from the one pattern
that belonged to the wardrobe mistress
they then had.
In those days they clustered around
their mother" as they called her, and
gossiped over whether the sleeves were
to be short or long, and II the skirts
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.

From the Chicago News.
An egotist is an 'I'' specialist.
Even the union dentists believe in an
open shop.
It's as hard to make hero as it is easy
to unmake one =
If all men were to get justice, more of
them would be in jail.
After a gossip tells all she knows she
gets busy and tells more.
A woman never has much use for a man
that she can't teach to be jealous.
Marriage is never failure-but the
contracting parties frequently are.
Uneasy lies the head of a bachelor
There Is always danger of his getting
married.
Often the dimple in girls cheek means
corerspding dent In some mans heart.
Never size man up as a brute because
of the sad look his wife wears. He may
be humorist.
When bachelor falls In love with a
young widow she can be just as surprised
as IL she hadn't pushed him In.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
City to Build Auditorium

1t was practically decided at the
election on the 18th of September that
the city would issue $200,000 of 5 per
cent bonds for the purpose of building
large auditorium or convention hall.
The bond proposition carried then by
q sweeping majority.
Yesterday at a special election
called for the purpose of formally de-
Gliding the bond question an over
whelming majority was polled in favor
of the auditorium. Many of the voters
favoring the bond issue. assuming that
the balloting would be merely a
matter of form, failed to go to the
polls. But the vote, while compare
lively light, was sufficient to show
public interest in the auditorium
proposition. 1t was noteworthy fact
that of those who voted a large per-
centage embraced prominent business
men and large taxpayers.
The bonds will be readily taken by
local investors at not less than par.
1t is probable that they will bring a
slight premium. Two hundred thou
sand dollars will provide Birmingham
with an auditorium seating something
like nine or ten thousand. Such a
building has been needed for several
years, and now that Birmingham is
fast approaching a population of
100000, the demand for such build
ing is more pressing than ever.
It is hoped that no time will be lost
by the city commission in selecting a
site, for until this is done architects
cannot begin work on plans, If
ground is broken for the auditorium
before the end of the year, the struc-
ture should be near enough completed
by the middle of May for holding a
monster music festival-somethin
that will far outshine anything of the
sort ever attempted in the south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-28
FATE OF CHORUS GIRLS

were to have many plaits or were to be
shrred
The memory of these days is as sweet
TO any chorus girl as the spreads of
college girls are to them. They remem-
Der the pleasant feeling of "hominess'
which seemed to pervade them as they
sat around the kindly old woman who
looked at them over her glasses and
gave them such good advice, even though
she was scolding them for the way they
tore their dresses.
And when the time comes for them to
look for another position and they wish
most of all to be back on the stage they
remember the mother of their chorus
days. and, signing a bit as they look
in the glass, they realize the time has
come for them to be mothers" them
selves.
In the Passing Show there is II
chubby little woman who certainly
doesn't look as if she could remember
all the far away dates she tells you about
and who with amazing cheerfulness and
good nature does her hard, tiresome work
from day to day with barely a thought
of the glories and trlumphs which used
to be hers.
Her name is Beatrice Bertrand and to
say that to any Englishman of the older
generation calls up a picture of one OF
the daintiest. most beloved figures of the
English ballet.
| When Beatrice Bertrand was II years
old, year after her marriage to NJ
Anne Bertrand one of the most cele-
brated ballet masters of the continent
and later of America, she was the rage
of London. There WAS no one who could
dance like little "Bee." as they affec-
| tionately called her.
In 1889 she and her first appearance
in Chicago was In 'The Babes in the
Wood" which her husband produced at
the Auditorium in 1892. Afterward she
! was in st. Louis, playing in German
theatre there, and then she and her hus-
band travelled all over the country, the
husband producing and she dancing.
Then the tide turned. Producing was
slack, dancing was no longer a poss-
! billty Her fame was great but ap-
preaching old age was greater, and the
tickle public clamored for younger, more
attractive girls.
| For few years Mrs. Bertrand lived
quietly with her husband ON the money
which they had saved. but soon his mind
! began to fail and he was taken to q
sanatorium.
Left alone. with a few friends In this
country. In which she never had had time
to stop and make friends, she grew
melancholy and lonely. until she decided
to go back on the stage in some way
or other.