New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-09
AS | WAS SAYING

When the girls propose we shall have run for
our money and it will be fine day for the race
at least so thinks Gramp Wallace. the great ne
whiskered scientist and phosopher-the same
Gramp wallace whose new and awful book describes
the race az so gone to the dickens at present that
all is for the worst in the worst OF all possible
worlds.
Brace UP. gentle creatures! Take jobs! Save for
= home! Then. by George. you can go cunning on
your own account, and not have 20 tolerate scamps
and chumps and rips and demjohnnies for FEAR oil
getting left. Hear what Gramp says
When women are economically free to choose
numbers of the worst men Of all classes who now
readily find wives will be universally rejected
Guess this hint Of Cramps will spell fdgets tor
confirmed bachelors. Only think how they have gone
on about never finding the right girl and their
dainty reluctance to give up the comforts or
bachelor apartment" pretty slummy. we have
noticed) and their willingness 10 let well enough
alone" Tomorrow this will sound less grand
Choice company they will be in. and funny time
they will have, explaining how they got there. Mot
to for A confirmed bachelor IT'S me for the dump!
And doesn't 1t strike you that some caustic sage
might pass a morning very pleasantly putting this
into an essay? Title: THE New Mitten"
gifted Canadian has just finished portrait OF
are by nature sporty. and would prefer Canadian
portrait OF his predecessor!
The censors cannot pounce too suddenly. for the
moving picture men are already swapping films under
the ocean. July. August. and then-oh what schools
Of September mermaids.
THE study Of boxing" says Maeternck in mis-
latest gives us excellent lessons in humility"
Thanks Now begin TO understand Mr. James
j. Corbett Mr. John Lawrence Sullivan, and that
miracle Of grovelng humility the White Mans De-
spair
THE Soul: Its organ and Development. Astonish-
ing new discoveries. Only one hemisphere Of the
brain is used for the mind. We totally in the
dark as to why We have two hemisphares'-Sir
Michael Foster No longer a mystery The unused
hemisphere can be developed bases established
for the intellectual and Soul faculties. and man
transformed into superman."
Wonderful. and so reasonable! We bit
ing but thought of beloved grocer. and how
that dear man would bang his head IL took to
running to the bookshop for our breakfast food.
Complete speech, any subject, ready to deliver
50 90" This explains much
81 won't accept favors / can't return" says Mr..
Kerr Hardie. IL stay away from Buckingham Palace
because / can't invite the King TO my back yard"
Can't he though? BY what we hear, kings en-
ceedngly possible persons. A talented policeman.
who fell in with kings and such while starring at
the Olympic games. said TO us afterward Them
royalties certainly did me white. thought.
There. now! That's the bunch you oughter trotted
with always
Yon Draw ladies who 60 a-whaling off the shores
Of bonnie Scotland have caught but few this
Ven hae to gle 'em up. lads!"
The whaesg
'Hoots, no! The bagpipes"
1t is shocking revelation, this report Of Mr.
Herbert Cescnsky's on FURNITURE Taking" but the
connosseurs not discouraged. why. man ave!"
they retort. I'VE have studied the marks Of genu-
ineness and know when We see them" Just so!
Easily counterfeted. these precisely the details
a faker attends to first.
SO sweet to know that the Declaration of Indepen-
dence Is TO be preserved forever and ever in
vacuum We earnestly hope that. should any crumbs
of it be found among the sweepinss. equal kindness
will be shown the Constitution
How timely Arnold BENEFITS confession, AS the
years pass. l attach less and less Importance to
technique In hcton"! When ii to the real
thing in fctional technique, the writer's may as well
throw up their hands. the novel Is simply not In
It with the telephone. r. l.. III.