The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-14
robert Engle in the Bellman.

robert Engle in the Bellman.
"HE super heater apex of travel lux
ury is called the sleeping car. II is
L stocked by a black speculator who
tried for job in a crematory but over
trained. His idea of duty is to fire up
until the passengers scream, and then
open the chimney damper. This insures
him early morning comfort while he is
putting salve on the passengers shoes.
The steam tender is officially known
as the porter-meaning one who ports. His
duties include closing the ventilators,
sweeping under your feet, making down
the bunk when you want to read, asking
you If you rang and smiling cheerfully
throughout the last hour of the journey.
For this he receives $22 month and
whiskbroom.
Denied banking facilities by the ex-
igences of travel, the whiskbroom eonsti-
tutes the financial system of the esteemed
porter. BY it's aid he lays and collects
taxes, extracts currency and presents ar
rival drafts. So efficient is it that low
grade ore assaying no more than Is cents
per 200 pounds has been made to pro-
duce as high as so cents and a cry of
distress, while a gold bearing stateroom
pocket frequently yields 81 and for
gotten umbrella.
without the whiskbroom the porter
would be a rudderless nigger in a green
plush ocean. He would no more be able
to port than he would be to starboard. AS
the furnace is his pillar of fire by night,
so is the broom his pillar of cloud by day.
With 1t he can, in any hour of the "a.
unerringly navigate the carved mahogany
wastes, while holding no fear of the re-
sounding caves of sleepers on either green
walled shore. Well does he know that
within those airless depths lies unreposing
the sum and substance of colored gentle
mans needs, and that in the silvery light
of tomorrows morn them thah sums will
be hisn.
All hail, then, the morn, when the from
bone notes of the sleepers yield to the
sharp staccato of the humping heads of
the walkers; when the fretful surge of the
green pillows betokens that the cavemen
are soon to be awash on the shores of the
nickel plated sauce dishes at the head of
the turbulent bay and polished shoes drift
In the aisle.
Some day a great play will be staged
wherein at least one act will take place in
the smoking compartment of a sleeping
car That is what will make the play
great 1t will be simple little thing, but
its very simplicity will make the critics
cry. A piano box will be the setting and
within 1t eight strong men will be shown
washing themselves at three bonbon nap
pies while two others shave themselves
and pale youth in pink striped pajamas
fnhales his matutional cigarette. The emo
tional climax will be reached when the
10 men fall upon the youth and kill him
and therein the stage will have served a
useful purpose, for there are far too few
such murtherings and the pubic interest
should be stimulated and encouraged.
Do you recall when you used to go down
to the depot to see No. whistle through
town? And do you recall the envy that
tortured your soul as you saw the eyes of
wealth and leisure patronize you through
the windows of the Pullman car? You
have the same feeling now when you look
at the pictures in the advertisements, with
the esteemed porter standing at attention
and six cloak models waving their hands
| from the platform of the open faced car
at the end of the train. 1t is all so pretty
and clean and tempting in the pictures.
and SO like those visions of your early
! days
| You have the same feeling, but the soul
torture is not so keen. For now you are
older and you have met the grill tender
on many occasions, you have washed for
high neck on many morning. you have
tossed through the endless hours of your
thousand and one nights. You have thu