The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-05-21
again." said Mrs. Bowser. 1.-THE clash
Of arms and battlefelds have nothing
to do with agricultural matters"

-e-V AO ~
| Of arms and battlefields have nothin,
to do with agricultural matters"
Mrs. q. Finds Fault.
"Oh, they haven't, eh? You just wal,
a minute, and don't be so ready to find
fault.
1.-The battletie!ds won by our fore
fathers with their vaior and blood are
shimmering in the sunshine of peace,
and from them you have reaped the
corn and pumpkins and squashes | see
on every hand. From the field where
George Washington drew his sword in
defense Of liberty come these fat hogs.
From the field where Paul Jones laid
down his life that America might lie
free you have driven this Durham bull.
From the field where Daniel Webster
shouted for freedom us he pressed on
at the head Of his troops you have
gathered the Early Rose potatoes, these
mammoth carrots. these
stop, Mr.. Bowser! Stop"
"Well, what is iii"
"You must certainly change that. l
don't want to find fault. but you can't
have Paul Jones fighting on land"
"And why the devil can't II"
because he was a sailor-a sea fight
er. You have Daniel Webster at the
head of his troops. but he was never a
soldier. You'd be picked up in a min
ute on those things"
by the Lord Harry, woman" said
Mr. RnVVH0rs nN h0 AV1ch06 rod mud
white, "but you are telling me that I
don't know as much as the average
boy ten years old"
mo. l am not. I'm simply telling
you that you have got things mixed
up. You know better, Of course, but
you are sometimes absentminded."
"Never in this world do I get things
mixed up! Never in this world am l
discontinued. Mrs. Bowser, you have
insulted me"
She Finds More Fault.
There was a bit of doubt in his tones
as he picked up his manuscript notes
again, fourished his arm and went II
"'When Robert Fulton arose in his
pIUSC III NOlN6AC0S IN NCNIuICu JAut
was the bulwark Of liberty,
men smiled at him, but you have only
to look around you today to see what
a truism he gave u.s."
"Mr. Bowser, will you let me say a
interrupted Mrs. Bowser.
what is 1t now?"
'You are not quite right about two
:hings in that paragraph. Robert Full
v arose in his seat in con-
but l say he did,"
II don't see how he could, as he was
never a member Of that body. You
probably meant to say Calhoun or
II probably didn't mean to say any
hing Of the kind! That is the third or
'ourth time you have flung insults into
ny face. and l am donev'
But you must not make such mis-
axes. You speak of agriculture being
he bulwark Of liberty, and then you
20 on to mention nothing but manu-
If you make such slips as
liIoSC oCAOlC u NAO"u JOu Will De III
most hooted at. Now 60 IN. We will
i'll in new names later on"
madam. there will be no going on
md no filling" said Mr.. Bowser with
,reat dignity as he came out of the
grand stand.
But why?"
He Is lnsuIted.
because l am no fool. l may be
.,aldheaded, but l know when l am
nsulted."
You are a strange man. was
merely telling you where you were
wrong about names and things
You telling me where l was wrong!
Now listen to me. In half an hour I
will prove that you don't know your A
B C's. I'll show you that l am right
and you are wrong In every criticism
You have made"
"Well, let it go that l am wrong.
Can't we go riding on the car this
Don't attempt to dodge the issue,
madam. You have made certain state
ments. go to disprOve them. When
they have been disproved, which they
certainly will be. l shall suggest that
our respective lawyers have a little
With that he made her a stiff bow
and walked down the hall and out
doors. He had been very decided in
his talk, but ut the same time he
doubted himself. He didn't like to go
to his family druggist. but when he
failed to find the butcher ar the plumb
err in he sauntered into the drug store
with a remark about the weather and
finally got around to say:
Say, doc, just who and what was
Daniel Webster? l may have got him
mixed up with some one else"
why, Daniel was a statesman" was
the reply.
"And who was Paul Jones?"
Zone Of the greatest sea fighters
America ever had"
And whO-whO"- continued Mr..
VDor,o~n I,,k kI> A---S-A