Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-11-17
LIFE, LOVE AND LOGIC OF
PROFESSOR POLYDORE
Bssnw tho Adventures Of . Pain
BIZ IRVING n. BACON,

Professor Polydore was losing pa
thence rapidly.
Il suppose" he said, that what you
mean is that the citizens can trust the
men who are in office because they
have glutted themselves with graft
and, like the full pals. are not likely
to take any more"
GrHfters Are Tanks.
Yes. precisely" replied the lather
We'll an offlce-hoider who is .
thief Is not a pail at all" snapped
Polydore. He Is tank of the Da-
maids. II you know what that is. It is
tank that has no bottom. Honest
citizens are at last awake to the fact
that these scoundrels have to get out
and"
The barber. having finished the
lathering process, was now pausing.
He held a razor between his thumb
and forefinger. and the palm of his
hand showed plainly Just above the
face OF the professor. He saw that
the thumb was of the dubbed type
This Is known in palmistry as "the
murderer's thumb" The appellation
is somewhat unjust, for 1t Is rarely
that possessors of dubbed thumbs
Kill. They are usually good-natured
PSORAtt Jul. hdN0 u tcITilC LtfHD6L4
And 1t Is only when the other indica~
lions In the hand are bad that 1t Is a
safe guess that, once aroused, they
will not hesitate to beat an adversary
to death.
The, particular specimen which Pro-
lessor Polydore was now looking at
was of this dangerous kind. The
hand was coarse, and the bail OF the
| thumb-the so-called Mount of Venus
was fiery red and grilled: that is.
1t was criss-crossed with innumerabfe
, lines. The headline, moreover, was q
| merely rudimentary affair, extending
less than a third of the way across
the hand in wavering zigzas course,
and to cap 1t all. a poorly formed star
appeared at the end of the line--a
sure indication of mental explosion
or brainstorm.
Fury and murder were written in
large characters all over the hand.
Nothing quenches anger quicker
than flattery. Professor Polydoro
was a past master In the art of bIar-
ney.
Some Artfui Flattery.
And why not?" he used to say.
"Flattery Is a necessary compromise
In q world in which for the most part
only the sham friends of truth are
successful, while its real friends are
ignored, If they are not thrown into
dungeons or crucified."
Never had Professor Poiydore a
greater incentive to fiatter than now.
He knew that the way he concluded
his remarks would guide the razor to
either shave him or cut his throat.
With as calm composure as IL the
recognition of his peril had not oc-
Cured to him at all, the professor
finished his sentence thus:
And SO forth, and SO forth. All
that sort of mush that I've been quot
Ing and that is being handed out to us
at every street corner nowadays Is
Just what's causing the whole trouble.
You have hit the nail squarely on the
head. To put in a new set of Office
holders would be like turning a lean
hungry horde into a banquet hall
from which the fat. well-fed guests
have been driven. Nothing illustrates
this better than your comparison with
the full pail
The razor descended gently.
Then minutes later when the pro-
shaver. a stranger who had also re-
ceived tonsorial ministrations said to
him.
II wouldn't let the fellow who
shaved you put razor to my throat
for a million"
"He is bit laxative" assentsd
Polydore.
mo. L don't mean that exactly"
said the stranger, but for a while I
thought he was going to cut your
head off l never saw so ferocfous q
look, except on the face of a mad
man."