davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

BY John Hay.
Wall, no, / cent tell whar he lives,
Because he don't live, you see;
Leastways he's got out of the habit
OF livin' like you and me.
whar have you been for the last three
year
That you haven't heard folks tell
How Jimmy Bludso passed in his checks
The night of the Prairie Belle?
He weren't no saint, them engineers
Is all pretty much alike
One wife in Natchez- -under-the- Hill
And another one here, in Pike.
A keerless man in his talk was Jim,
And an awkard man in row,
Because he never fiunked, and he never
lied;
reckon he never knowed how.
And this was all the religion he had
To treat his engine well,
Never be passed on the river;
To mind the pilots bell;
And if ever the Prairie Belle took hre,
A thousand times he swore,
He'd hold her nozzle agin the bank
| Till the last soul got ashore.
! All boats has their day on the Mississip,
| And her day come at last
THE Moyastar was a better boat,
But the Belle, she wouldn't be passed
so she came tcarin' along that night
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
woRLD.s GREAT WOMEN

From the New York Evening Sun.
Continuing the subject of the worlds
great women and why they are great:
Scheherazade-She. while her compan-
ions slept, was toiling upward through
the night.
Eve-The original pragmatist.
Lots Wife-For thousands of years
she has resisted the temptation to go fiat
hunting every spring and fall.
Mother Shipton.
Queen Elizabeth-The first white woman
who ever said: Don't stop smoking; L
enjoy it: l really like the smell of to-
bacco: never mind the curtains.
Dame Rumor-She never started any
thing that she couldn't go ON with.
The Author of Dora Thorn
The Mother of Nero-She invented the
idea of always having something on the
sideboard so her boy would not be tempted
to spend his evenings in barrooms.
The Two Nells. Glyn and Gwynne-The
one put into English literature the same
tone the other introduced into Enylish
history.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
THE PARTY NEEDED

FROM an fNcndnSt.
Some time ago, according TO story
recently told by Congressman Curley
of Massachusetts,, a carpenter, named
Jim Biggers, was aroused by the v1o-
lent ringing of his telephone at the
dead of night.
rs that you, Mr.. Bggers," cried
small childish voice. MA wants you to
come around right away and bring your
tools. We have had an accident
"You don't want me-" was the prompt
response of Mr.. Biggers on hearing
the word Accident you want the
doctor who lives next door to me-
Back to bed rambled the carpenter
but hardly had he tucked himself IN
before the phone rang again.
Yes, this is Mr.. Biggers," answered
the carpenter, just . little peevishly
What do you want?"
please, sir" came the same childish
voice, you are the one that we want
pa is shut up in the folding bed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
r. LYMAN ABBOTT says in the
II current number of the Out
look.
Il have long since abandoned the be-
lief that any child of God, created in HIS
image. will live forever in sin and suffer-
ing. 10 not believe that any one has
life independent of God, and l do not
believe that God will keep any one alive
eternally who is going on in sin and for
whom there is no hope of redemption.
mo one would think of taking literally
the pictures of heaven given in the book
of Revelation. No one supposes that
heaven is really walled city with golden
pavements and pearly gates. 1t is diff
cult to see why the church should have
taken more literally the pictures of hell
contained in the Book of Revelation.
I'm my grandfathers house was fam
lily Bible, illustrated. One of the IL
Illustrations accompanied the counsel OF
Christ, why heedest thou the mote that
is in thy brothers eye, but seest not the
beam that is in thine own eyer The
picture represented two men talking with
each other, with a beam of good pro-
truding two or three feet in length from
the eye of one of them. Perhaps it was
this preposterous picture that had the
effect early to set my mind against the
literal Interpretation of the Oriental i'm
agery in the Bible.
1.-THE references in the Bible to the fu-
ture life are not for the purpose of giving
us exact information respecting that life
Indeed, it would be impossible to give
such information- We can as little COM
prehend what the future life is to be as
an unmatched bird in the egg could i'm
agine what the life of the bird is to be
on the wing, or the caterpillar creeping
upon the ground could imagine what the
life of the butterfly is to be in the air,
or a little child in the nursery could COM
prehend what are to be the joys and the
sorrows of manhood. The references of
the Bible are for the purpose of giving
warming and inspiring hope.~ They are
| addressed to the imagination, not to the
| intellect. Their object is not to give us
| instruction in the geography of another
world, but to supply us with motives for
conduct in this world
| DR.. Abbott adds that Jesus Christ re-
| ferred to hell as a place of punishment.
but that hell in the New Testament is
| used as q translation for "hades' and
egehenna." The first of these two Greek
words means the abode of the dead, and
the second is the name of valley out
side of Jerusalem IN which refuge from
the city was burned. The fire of Gehenna
which burned continuously and, therefore
| in the popular imagination "eternally,'
was, he believes, used as a symbol. and
| not as a symbol of torment but Of de-
struction or of publication.
| DR.. Abbott's advanced and unortho-
dox views would have rung strangely,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Efficiency Idea Run Mad

mo one appreciates science more than
do" said a successful business man,
"but think the scientific test bearing on
what we may eat and drink with impunity
is often overdone.
Much that is discussed nowadays in
scientific circles relates to efficiency. OF
course, it is well to have efficiency always
in mind but l sometimes think that the
efficiency idea has run mad. / used to
hear that coffee was poisonous to the sys-
tenn and should not be drunk, but mil
lions of men and women have been coffee
drinkers all their lives and have ap-
parently suffered no ill effects.
"The other day l was glad to read a
newspaper review of an article in the
Journal of the American Medical associa-
tior in which it was stated that even
among physicians false view of the ef-
feet of coffee drinking was entertained.
The upsaot of the discussion was that cof-
fee instead of being Injurious was when
used in moderation, decidedly beneficial
There are those who would prohibit the
use of tea, coffee, coca-cola and tobacco
as we'll as alcoholic stimulants. So far as
my observation goes these things may
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

by law the number of representatives
and apportion them among the several
counties of the state according to the
number of inhabitants in them re-
spectively.'
This would be the plain duty of the
extra session and it is difficult to see
how it can constitutionally be evaded
even if the politicians and correspond
ents are unable to see it as the extra
session approaches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
CuIImnn,s Prosperity

Few counties are quite so prosperous
perhaps as Cullman," said d. c. Behrens,
formerly of Birmingham but now a mer-
chandise broker in the city of Cullman.
Last year most of rhs truckers and
farmers generally made good crops, some
of them very fine crops. Money is plenti-
full and Cullman merchants were never so
thrifty as now. The county is steadily
adding to the wealth of the state, and
with good seasons this year rich results
may be expected
II still have property In Birmingham
and come here every week or two. This
city is making giant strides and no one is
so quick to notice this fact as pioneer
such as I have been"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
DENTIST BREAKS INTO BASEBALL

From the st. Louis Republic.
The manager of one of the big base
ball teams announces that when he mo-
biizes his forces to the training camp he
will take a dentist along with him. This
manager, whose wisdom, by the way is
that of the serpent. attributes many a
diamond failure to a hollow molar or a
febrile biscuspid. He says sound teeth
are essential to successful baseball: and
without ado or equivocation we agree
with him.
In the inventory of the modern base
ball player there can be no hint of physi-
cal decadence. Just how a man can snare
the elusive and whistling grounder or
spear the far flung fly, even though en-
dowed with all the perfections. passes the
comprehension of any honest spectator.
That such feats could be performed with
cnes attention diverted by throbbing
tooth is obviously impossible. And when
it comes TO hitting any of those erratic
tangents of the contemporaneous twirler
hitting it on the bealS, you understand
well the batsman should have super
perfect teeth, but he should have super
natural eyes, supermanly courage, the
general health of Banker Morse and the
luck of the man who broke the bank at
Monte Carlo.
Some win say that baseball is getting
aesthetic and dilettante. The innovation
of the dentist, they may say, is prelimi-
nary TO the eye specialist. Cynics may
sooff and prophesy the advent of the
manicure as the next feature. They may
be right. There are things in the baseball
of the current vintage that were never
dreamed of in your juvenile philosophy,
Horatio, when a mask was curiosity
and a glove the badge of the mollycoddle
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
DOCTOR ABBOTT ON HE'LL

and startingly, from the same lips % years
ago His evolutionary movement toward
his present beliefs has been matter of
wide and intense interest because there
is no doubt about his sincerity. Hell" is
always a subject of consuming interest,
and any man of brilliant intellect who
has any view of it less discouraging than
that OF the preachers who depict it as
place of literal and eternal fire can COM
mand an audience. 1t will not, however.
do to charge DR.. Abbott, a spiritual man
of advanced age, who lacked neither fame
nor a living when he was occupying the
pulpit, with catering to the public. That
what he thinks he says is beyond doubt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Castro's Case Going to Supreme Cour

CastrO's Case Going to Supreme Court
A district judge in New York has
turned ex-President Castro of Vene-
zuela loose, and he is at liberty to go
where he chooses in this country. The
government has, however, decided to
carry the case to the United States
supreme court.
The charge against Cipriano Castro
is that he ordered, or at least per-
mitted the execution of General Par
AIDES, who was revolutionist against
the organized and recognized govern
ment of Venezuela. To say that such
an issue can be tried by Philander
Knox or by the department of COM
merce and labor is ridiculous. Ex-
President Castro says he was danger
ously and seriously i'll at the time and
that he knew nothing about the steps
taken in the Parades case.
The entire contention will doubtless
be put on correct lines in the supreme
court and an appeal will not limit
Castro's liberty either in this country
or in leaving it. 1t is to be hoped that
the plucky Venezuelan will fight out
his case on its merits in the supreme
court. AS the case stands it is but
an additional blunder in the long list
that Philander Knox has accumulated
in his four years term.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Howard c. Hollister. the United states
judge who sentenced the National Cash
Register companys employees, was born
and bred in Cincinnati. He attended the
common schools at Mt. Auburn, where his
intimate friendship with President Taft
began. The two attended Woodward
High school at the same time, and both
We're graduated from Yale university, the
President receiving his degree one year
before Judge Holllster. When Judge
Thompson died, President Taft turned to
his old schoolmate and friend and asked
him to fill the vacancy in the United
states district court.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Realty aInrkef Acfirc

There has been a decided improvement
in the real estate market recently" said
r. A. Brown, the we'll known real estate
man. There is an exceptionally active
inquiry for medium class property-semi-
business property. There have been many
sales Of this class of real estate, suit
able for industrial sites and close TO the
business district. Some of the purchasers
have had in view trackage facilities, and
this, [ take it, is an excellent indication
OF Birmingham's expansion in the matter
Of small industries.
The outlook for the real estate mar
ket is bright indeed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Birminsham,s Marvellous progress,

Birmingham is unquestionaby growing
at a faster rate now than ever" said r.
d. Burnett. THE strides that this city
has made in the past few years have been
simply phenomenal.
4 always thought, we were going to
have great city some day, but we nave
grown and improved more rapidly than
any prophet had foretold. Business eondi-
tions here at the present time are healthy
and most promising. / think our business
men will agree that we have never had
such high degree of prosperity in the
Birmingham district as we are having
today.
4 visit different sections of the United
States from time to time and it is safe
to say that no city of approximately Bir-
min gham's size is so fiourishng as Bir-
niingham.v
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
RErLEcTIONs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
The way to be "A great man is TO tell
ii yourself.
Where a thin woman is so lucky is she
cant shape in as far as fat. one can
out.
A girl thinks she really needs differ
ent beau for every different color she
wears.
What makes man very comfortapie
home is for all the family to be away
visiting grandma.
A man doesn't care now generous he Is
to his wife with money IL he can borrow
il all back from her right away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
joaquin Miller

Joaquin Miller, the poet, who died
in California Monday, and whose real
name was Cincinnatus Heine Miller, was
not as old as his pictures, taken in recent
years, made him appear said a pro-
fessional man. 'He was only 72 years of
age last November. He was born in In
diana.
81 met Miller at Valentines studio in
Richmond about % years ago. He was
very picturesque looking man then and
he talked eloquently I recall the arrow
wound on his neck which had been in
fiicted in one of the Indian wars. He
was adopted by tribe of Indians and
married the daughter of the chief. He
wrote many beautiful poems and several
plays, the best of them being the Dan
ties which l saw performed in the old
Richmond theatre"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

James Hendry of Scotland has won a
words. To write, he says, 100 inspiring
words is no great task. TO multiply the
number by five is scarcely more difficult
To reduce any list TO its most signiii-
cant word is to write the four little letters
OF life Therein is denoted all inspiration,
uunity all effort, all success, all compen-
sa ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
WIDENING THE BREACH

From the Bessemer Tribune.
The breach between Birmingham ana
Atlanta was considerably widened when
The Age-Herald said that ''St. Louis has
man with a wooden arm VINO plays
baseball, and Jim Smith of Atlanta should
secure him at once.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
The Press Blowout

From the Shelby County sun.
The Birmingham Press club will give
big blowout on March 10. Many of
the best known men in the country ara
invited. especially President-elect Wilson
and vice President Marshall and William
Jennings Bryan. If this occasion proves
a success, it win be one of the best adj
vertisements Birmingham and Alabama
has ever gotten up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
.ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

The plot thickens-
Waltz along with a
Brace CT chickens.
Houston Post.
And yet the youth
With chickens twain
Has little reason
To be vain,
Especially
II he should spy
\ spendthrift sport,
Who sits near by,
Ignore the menu
And, with a grin,
Proceed to or
Der terrapin.
Waco News.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
We'll Mnx He QuaiI

From the Huntsville Mercury Banner.
Champ Clark has challenged Hon. Tom
Heflin to a joint debate on woman's suf-
frage. Thisis clear call for Tom. He
has been saying all sorts of funny things
about this woman's suffrage question.
Now he must make good.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Thinks the Same Way

From the Dothan Eagle.
The Age-Herald is wisely Of the opin-
ion that too much anti-smoke ordinances
are against the upbuilding of great city,
as Birmingham is likely to be. 1t thinks
that If you put too many restrictions on
smoke that the small enterprises will go
somewhere else, where there isn't much
said against smoke. And then, too, The
Age-Herald points out that no one has
vet succeeded in perfeeting smoke con-
sumner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Seems IneredibIe

From the West Point and Lanett News.
The Atlanta spirit is wabbling in its
efforts to send the Fifth regiment to Will
sons Inauguration at Washington. For
want of a measley $1,000 it looks like the
city that never recognized the word fall
ure in a public movement, is about to
read it in box car letters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19


CULINARY COVETOUSNESS.
He's seldom in
A pious mood,
Whose daily fare
Is breakfast food.
Especially
If 1t should hap
That near by sits
A low-browed chap
Who ever and
Anon doth take
Hughe mouthfuls of
A juicy steak.
Birmingham Age Herald.
And yet the man
Who cats the meat
Is not puffed up
About the feat,
Especially
If he should hap
To see close by
Another chap
An idle-rich
Who paid a buck
For one small portion
OF duck.
-Johnstown Democrat
And yet the old
Guy with the duck
Don't think that he's
Got all the luck,
Especially
If by the place
Where he feeds duck
Into his face
He sees young blade }
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
AAN.

Not his to bend the fawning knee,
Nor stand the dupe of hattery.
Sustained by consciousness of worth,
Unbowed, unshamed, ne trod the EARTH
A heart that loved his fellow man,
More quick to praise than most to ban:
Who fell asleep, from toll set free,
And left a gentle memory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

/ BEFORE he LOST HIS HAIR.
why is it that bald-headed man al
ways carries n pocket comb?H asks Luke
McLuxe. Maybe to comb his whislkers
and maybe 10 remind him of happier
days. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
smoke and Progress

From the CentreviIIe Press.
The smoke ordinance passed by the Biz
mingham commissioners has proven to be
a live issue in business circles. Hot air
can be used for some purposes. but if you
expect to have manufacturing city you
will have to have smoke, and the more
smoke stacks in a city the more pros
perity
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
DEPENDS on HER SIZE.

IT'S very unkind to make fun of
young wife's cooking
Yes. And at times it's very unsafe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

4 kentucky congressman thinks he can
Keep the Washington hotels from raising
rates in inaugural week. But he has bit
off more than he can chew.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
M,..c. the Bun Moose

From the Livingston Southern Home.
These days bring vague sense of
something missing. Either the clock has
stopped or Colonel Roosevelt needs wind
ing up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

The government has closed a contract
for the closing of Beulah crevasse near
Vicksburg. The building of a trestle
across the break has already been begun
and earth and stone in vast quantities will
soon be dumped in IL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
skepticaI Editor

From the Columbiana Peoples Advocate.
Democratic prosperity will soon be here
according to the democratic newspapers,
but we are from Missouri, and will have
TO be shown.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Their "BIandishments." Forsooth!

From the Lineville Headlight.
L will be only few years until women
will vote in all the eastern and western
states. The south will be slower In yield
ing to the Establishments of the suffra-
gettes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Yerby Is Doomed

From the Gadsden Journal
Friends of Editor William e. Yerby
of the Greensboro Watchman are booming
him as successor to Congressman Hob
son. Although Mr.. Yerby disclaims any
political ambitions, his election by the
Sixth district would be hailed with de-
light by the press of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
MORE "PRoBLEMs. s.
1t sort f play is this ?p

What sort f play is this?"
1T is said to present some unvarnished
truths.
'umphl In that case we'd better get
front seats"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
STATE PRESS
Turks VIII Remember

From the Marion Standard.
We will soon be so busy watching Mex
leo we will forget that there is any war
in Europe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
OVERLOOKED

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The sum of s24oOo,ooo is being raised in
this country for foreign missions. But We
forget all about the pretty girl who is try
ing to keep straight on s6 per week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Hardly Any Difference

FIom the Talladega Home.
Birmingham will probably have a wom-
an on it's police force, but offenders
pinched by her will feel it just about as
much as if it was performed by man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Dire Prediction

From the Scottsboro Citizen.
When a man enters the sea Of matri-
mony the cradle is almost sure to rock
in the course of time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
quite SO. Quite So

From the Oneonta Southern Democrat.
Some of the newspapers seem very much
worried because President-elect Wilson
has written his inaugural address "all
by himself What else could you ex-
pect? A democratic President is not sup
posed to get his inaugural address from
Wall street.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Movement to the Rear

From the Greensboro Record.
The Turkey trot is now being immense
ly enjoyed by the Balkan allies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
AGGRIEVED

do you. think your husband would lay
down his life for 5you?"
Il doubt it, There are times when l
want to talk to him and he won't even lay
down his newspaper for me-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
Doesn't Bother Him

From the Sylacauga Advance.
Next years Christmas presents will be
UP against an income tax.xThe Age
Hehald.
Well, what do you think the country
editor cares for that?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Mexico fires off a great many guns, but
the killed and wounded in her battles
would not be considered up to even a
light skirmish in the Balkans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
When Talk Isn't Cheap

From the Admission Star and Hot Blast.
The telephone toll between New York
and San Francisco is SIS minute. Only
millionaire lovers have a tete-a-tete at
that rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

The smoking of hams has gone out of
fashion in these days of Tama Jim Will
son. They are now dipped in a solution
of pyroligenous acid which is an extract
OF smoke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala
postoffice as second class mater uu"er
act of Congress March 3, 1919
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Denver las a college student who is a
street sweeper. Why not? The broom is
a civic influence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19
NsATIATE.

''As soon as Felice gets out of one ro-
gance she plunges right straight into an
other"
THAT girl must spend all her time in
moving picture theatres"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Kaiser Wilhelm and Vincent Astor have
joined the back-to-the-farm movement, al
though they do not know one crop from
another
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

The Diaz forces proved themselves true
barbarians when they looted and de-
stroyed Maderos house. They put them
selves on level with the communists of
Faris who wrecked Thiers home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

The names of no cabinet officers can
be procured from the Presldent-elect by
compulsion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

Legislative bribetal1ers should in these
dictograph days converse in writing only,
and then burn on the spot their writ
ings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-19

A Kansas town loans its surplus funds
to farmers in the vicinity, and in that
way promotes the trade Of its people.