davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
The Sional.

How do you endure listening to
Bliggtns' funny stories? He spells
them by laughing at them himself.
THAT'S what | like about him. You
don't have to listen in order to laugh
at the right time. All you have to
do is to wait till he gives the signal"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Limitations.

DO they live in peace and har-
mony?"
We'll, there Ia great deal of har
mony In their married life. both being
accomplished musicians. but there
Isn't much peace"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
liz a Good Fellow,

Muggins-I wonder why Dolly Dash
away is so popular?
Buggins-She's one Of those girls a
fellow feels he can propose to without
auy serious danger of being accepted
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Not In Lean Year.

They were quarreling. Well, you
can't say l ran after you," said the
wife.
Neither does a mousetrap run after
the mice, but it catches EN- just the
same" replied hubby.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Round and Sdtszre

The mode Of expression plays
very important part in diplomatic ne
gotiations."
Eyes; but there is not much use OF
trying to make a well-rounded SEN
tsnoe take the place of a square deal"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Painful Vocalist.

well, how did you like Madam Gee
whiZky's solo?"
ITO tell the truth, was so alarmed
by the agonized expression of her face
that l quite forgot to listen to her sing
ing"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
undiscovered.

You know there's more Ia this
world than money"
q don't know. If there is my wife
hasn't thought of it."-Detroit Free
Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Horrible Examples.

Rastus Jackson-Am 1t wrong to
drink root beer, grandma?
Grandma Jackson-'Tain't ezac1y
wrong, but it's risky-some of our
greatest statesmen began on root beer.
Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
The Right Way.
Pill went all to pieces"
What did his wife say?"
" Bill, collect yourself"

WHEN RUBBERS BECOME NECESSARY
And your shoes pinch, Aliens Foot Ease, the
AntISeptic powder to be shaken into tn shoes,
is just the thing to use. Always use ID for break
ing IN shoes Sold everywhere, &c. Sample
FREE. Address, a. s. Olmsted lie hoy, n. Y.
DON'T accept any substitute. ADV.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
AfWaNs On thn Lob

Jack-I hear that Mabel is an occa-
sional contributor to magazines.
Edith-Judging from the quantities
of powder she is purchasing l should
think she is the chief OF ordnance
Town Topics.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
The Limit.

Knicker-Ts he stingy?
Bocker-Yes; he would like the
smoke rings he blows to q girl re-
turned.-New York Sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
The RiqI1t Way.

Mrs Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiaunma.
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie CSC buttNa IA
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13

Some thieves have no higher ambi-
ton than the top Toost in a chicken
house.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13

No, sir replied. I think he took
It to Old Mexico with him. I Just now
heard OF it.
After minutes study the Judge
said:
While his action. deserves cen
sure, this court cannot but feel com
plimented at your mans evident conf
dence in our disposition to deal out
justice.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13

did he strike you in virtual temper
airy alteration"
NO. sir; he struck me in the jaw"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
THOUGHT Him a Club.

He-Do you know much about golf?
She-Absolutely nothing / wouldn't
even know how to hold my caddy
properly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
Evolution In the Making.

You hear a lot of talk about college
being unnecessary to success in life,
Elizabeth Towne writes in the Nautil-
us. II by success in life You mean
mere money-making, | will agree that
the Young man who goes into business
when he quits the grammar scnool
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13

wark between my client and the pen.
The next morning the judge would
kick the barrier TO flinders. Finally
told my man we would have to get
ready to face the music-the court
wouldn't fool with US any longer.
When l again entered the place of trial
the court confirmed me-said il l had
any more motions l needn't pull EN-
out. as he was going to overrule them.
ct haven't any more motions to
make. yorr honor said. But I I'M
derstand my client has made one.'
Has he filed it!'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13
SYNOPSIS.

Gloria Kerr. a motherlsss girl. who has
spent rnust Of her life in school, arrives
at her fathers home in Belmont David
3Ierr is the political boss of the town,
and is anxious to prevent his daughter
learning Of his real character. Kendall.
representing the Chicago packers. Is ne
Godating with Judge Gilbert, Kerr's chief
adviser. for q valuable franchise. They
fear the opposition OF Joe Wright, editor
ri the reform paper, Kerr asks the as
sistauCe Of Judge Gilbert in introducing
Gloria 60 Belmont society, and promises
10 help tim put through the packers
franchise and let him have ali the graft.
Gloria meets Toe Wright at the Gllberts.
IT appears they are on intimate terms,
having met previously in touring party
in Europe The GiIberts invite Gloria 10
stay with them pending the refurnisEIns
~ the Kerr home. Wright begins his night
against tne proposed franchise in the col
l.nlns Of his paper the Belmont News.
Kerr. through his henchmen, eEerts ey-
cry influence to hamper Wright in the
publication Of his paper. Gloria realizes
she s. rot being received by tie best so
olety and Is unhappy She takes UP set
dement, work. Kerr and his Ieutenants
decide to buy Kerr's paper and ask the
editor 20 mre- them at Gi!berIS office.
Calling At CI!beTt's office to solicit do
nation Gloria meets Wright.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-11-13

The match industry produces seven
matches a day for each man, woman
and child In the world.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

not steady In my mind. t~r s
But he rose to meet them. Uncle Tom
my carried al odd-skaped package in his
arms, n when he was near to Uncle
Luther, he stopped and cleared his throat.
Every one was silent. listening. g..
II calc'lated to make a speech" he
stammered: but we thought we'd
decorate the hvin' this year. Luther,
here's a new leg"
He held out the odd-shaped package
helplessly. Uncle Luther did not seem to
see II at all He reached forward and
put hts hands on his brothers shoulders,
and the Les fell down UNDECIDED between
the two old men. .,
Uncle Luther strapped on the leg with
trembling, inefficient fingers, and then
Captain Enoch and Uncle Tommy marched
him out between them. Uncle Tommy's
own horse and buggy, decorated with rib
bons, stood In front Of the shop. Z
You're goin' to be the marshal OF the
day" said Captain Enoch. 4
"But-Tommy-
Get In" commanded Uncle Tommy, In
a voice that was not to be disputed.
Uncle Luther, sitting as straight az q
trooper, drove out at the head OF the pro-
~cession, while the band. with a rattle OF
drums. swept into Hail. Columbia, Happy
Land" .%~S
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
|%TENDERFEET WIN
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
HILL AND SONS, THE DAT CHAM
PioNS, ARE cocKNEYS BORN
AND BRED.

City-bred In the worlds greatest
metropolis and unframed as to thinga
agricultural. were J.. G. Hill and his
three boys when they settled on home.
steads at Lloydminster, in the Prov.
ince of Saskatchewan (western Can.
ada, eight years ago. Today they
are the recognized champion oat grow.
ers Of the North American continent,
having won twice In succession the
silver challenge cup. valued at $1,000,
at the Fifth National Corn exposition,
Columbia, s. G. The Plate, oticially
known as the Colorado Dat trophy, Is
emblematic OF the grand champion.
ship prize for the best bushel OF oats
exhibited by individual farmers or ex-
pertinent farms at these expositions.
Che Hill entry won this year In the
face of the keenest competition, hun
dreds Of exhibits being sent by expe-
rienced farmers from all parts Of the
United States and Canada. The oats
were grown on land which was Wild
prairie less than four years ago.
When Mr.. Hill and his three sons.
wiz RAO9dOAJ ACNOI HO0W q MkWGIA 6EAG-
age than the hills OF Hampstead
Heath, or the parks OF London, came
to Saskatchewan eight years ago, they
had little more capital than was re-
Quired for homestead entry fees. They
filed on four h~omesteads, In the Lloyd
minister district, which straddles the
boundary of Alberta and Saskatcha-
wan. They went to work with a will,
ripping the rich brown sod with break
ing plows and put In q crop, which
yielded fair returns.
They labored early and late and de-
MED themselves paltry pleasures, glad
TO stand the gan for a while In rising
to their possibilities. They talked with
successful farmers and studied crops
and conditions and protited by both.
The new life on the farm was strange
but they never lost heart, handicapped
as they were by lack of experience
and capital.
respect, compares favorably with any
residence in the city. The Hills have
substantial bank accounts and their
credit is gilt-edge from Edmonton to
Winnipeg and beyond. Kan
There is nothing secret about our
methods nor is our plan copyrighted.
We first made a thorough study of
climatic conditions, soil and seed"
said Mr.. Hill. eve tended our crops
carefully and gradually added live
stock, realizing from the beginning
that mixed farming would pay larger
and more certain returns than straight
grain growing. We have demonstrated
that fact to our satisfaction and the
result is that many of the farmers in
the district are following our exam
pie" aFs.. .,ra
The land that the Hills work is Of
the same class al may be found any
where In Manitoba. Saskatchewan or
Observation-Disclosures.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
A Thrift Suggestion.
(BY Edwln A. Mye.)

H". .# -#a..N TEf".T -g ~
The slot machine, which in this
country everywhere is In evidence, is
almost unknown In France.
Because the Frenchman saves his
confines one by one until he has
enough TO buy a rente, government
bond. 1t may not be for a large
amount, but there IT Is, principal and
interest. to him and his forever.
And we7
We aa a people believe pennies were
made for Immediate distribution. No
sooner do we get them. IL we do not
buy editions OF the evening papers.
than we p~atronize the slot machine.
We must be rid or our cents.
Which II not aCpun. We may have
no need or Immediate desire for the
chewing gum or candy or cigar or
drinking cup or what mot which the
machines everywhere vend. The desire
rs to disseminate small change.
we are a nation OF penny pushers.
We care nothing evidently for small
coins. There are localities in the west
where the penny Is held in contempt.
All commodities, Neyen the newspapers.
are s cents.
Thrift
I'VE do not know the meaning OF the
word as the French understand II.
When the French government wants
| money II needs only offer n loan ex-
crossed In small denomination. In al
most every case the loan Is over-
subscribed the FIRST day 1t is offered.
We spend our pennies; the French
save them and buy honda.
In France every girl however
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Loss an Illusion.

James C. McReynolds, who inves-
tigated the tobacco trust for the gov,
eminent. thereby bringing OH a lot
Of things, says that just after he
started praeticing law in a small
town down in tennessee, a few years
ago. stout hiIlsman came into his
Office n day and announced that he
desired to sue a neighbor for $4,000
damages.
Two years ago" he stated. "he
called me a hippopotamus."
Two years ago!" echoed Mercy
nolds. "Why didn't you sue him
sooner"
Well, sub" said the injured party,
until that there circus come through
here last week l thought all the time
he was paying me a compliment
Saturday Evening Post. 81,
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Mynken, sIynken md Ned.

Wynken, Blynken and Nod. -
wynken, Biynken and Nod one night
Sailed Off in a wooden shoe
Sailed on a river OF crystal light, t".
Into a sea or dew: T.
Where are you going. and what do you
The old moon asked the three. W
1--WE have come to fish for the herring fsh
That live in this beautiful sea:
Nets OF silver and gold have we.'', @
Said Wynken, j,
-E Blynken, b.
And Nod. d.
As they rookie in, the wooden shoe.
And the wind that sped them all night
along E2&r
The little stars were the herring fan
That lived in that beautiful sea- ~
NOW cast your nets wherever you wish
Never afeared are we;
SO cried the stars to the fishermen thrs~
Wynken, ~ -
Blynken - s'"H ~
And Nod. u. .l@ LIE ..
All night long their nets they throw
10 the stars in the twinkling foam
Then down from the skies came the WOOD
Bringing the fishermen home;
Twas all &c pretty a sail 1t seemed
AS Is 1t could not be. ~ i
And some folks thought twas a dream
they'd dreamed I y
or sailing that beautiful sea-
But ! shall name you the fishermen
three: Es 4Hm Hf.GtEaG
Wynken, rlhg&E
|# ~ Blynken, H
And Nod, III ".
wynken and Blynken are two little eyea.
And Nod IS a little head, t |st
And the wooden hoe that sailed the skies
Is q wee ones trundIe bed,
SO shut you yes while mother sings
OF wonderful sights that be, A'
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock In the misty sea, ta
Where the old shoe rocked the fshmen
h. three. EE@
Wynken. &a& Ea ErM5a
Blynken, hH
VIZ And Nod. n
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Woods Of Brazil.

A recent number OF lie BresiI Econo-
mique, OF Rio de Janeiro, gtves an In
teresting account OF the woods Of Bra
I'll, which In variety and extent are,
says that Journal. not equaled else
where on the globe, but which, because
Of lack OF railroad facilities, do not
add to the wealth OF this South Amer
lean republic as they should. Among
these woods Is the johanesia princeps,
of the euphorbiaceous family, an ex-
ceedlngly light wood adapted to the
making OF matches; the andira antheI-
mintica. q wood free from the attacks
OF insects; b piptadeniA rigtda, which
Is OF rapid growth, producing a bark
suitable for tanning leather, and a gum
similar to gum arabic; the centrolo-
blum robusttum. OF q lively yellow col
or. with rich. gold like yeinings; the
|schinus aroeira, a wood with the hard
ness Of iron; the the cedrela f~issilis,
OF a clear rose color. suitable for light
furniture; the dicypellium c~aryophilla-
tum. yellow in color. very aromatic and
attains a diameter Of five feet; the
genipa Americana, which bears a fruit
from which the Brazilians prepare D
liquor; the lucurna laurelifolia. the sap
OF which furnishes an elastic gum and
the abundant fruit OF which In edible.
Among other woods are several species
known In Europe as palfssandre. One
IL black, another deep red n a third
Of q violet hue. The hymenaca cour-
baril furnishes a resin known as gum
.copal used in the manufacture Of var
nish; the c~ouratari legalis, q white
wood that takes the place OF pine In
the making or boxes; the lucum pro-
cera, the Juice of which furnishes q
gum analogous to gutta-percha; he
ecythis ~ollaria, used In naval architec-
ture, bears the nsme of the monkeys
dinner basket" which contains an oily,
almond like fruit. These are only a
few OF the trees constituting Brazil's
arboreal wealth. Several trees fur
nish dyestuffs and a number OF woods
are shipped to europe for fine furniture
and plano making. t#sf@
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Their MESSAGE.

The evening callers were chatting
with their hosts when there came a
patter Of little feet along the hall.
Hush, whispered the hostess,
raising her hand; the children are
coming with the goodnight message.
1t always gives me a feeling OF rev
erence to hear them. They are so
much nearer to heaven than I'VE, and
they speak from the ~fullness of their
little hearts never so freely as when
the dark has come. Listeni"
There was a moments pause, and
then the message came In a-shrill
whisper: Mamma 1t ran, willie
found a cockroach in the tub"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
The Old Man's Comforts and How He
ay$ Gained Than. ~

4ysE m'..I Gained Them. ~
''YoT are old, Father william" the younK
mar cried, ~ ~.
1.-THE few locks which are left you are
You are Sals. Father willsm, a hearty
Now ten me the reason. I pray"
"In the days q my youth Father VIII
lam replied, " aNu ~.
II remembered that youth would ny
fast. gs ~ tx TENlt
And abused not my health and my visor
That never might need them al last ).
You are OLD, Father william . the young
And pleasures with youth pass away;
And yet you lament not the days that are
Now tell me the reason, I pray"
I'm III days OF my youth" Father VIII
lam replied, .
II remembered that youth could not last,
I thought Of the future whatever I did.
That might never grieye for the past"
you are old, Father wIliam.s the young
And life must be hastening away;
You are cheerful. n love to converse
3 upon death, 4
Now toll me the reason, ! pray"
Il am cheerful, young man." Father
Let the cause thy attention engage:
In the days OF my youth ! remembered
And He hath not forgotten my age"
p Y, n. Robert Southey. "
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
corksersw N0t ! TropbIs PuIIsr.

VI = TULH tIIt NlIIdBU INvCOIN-fItIdIu. ".
Mrs. Netty Ktbby, conductor OF the
National Division or Sons OF Temperatures,
In a Temperatures addness pointed out the
absurd folly OF attempting TO drive away
sorrow by getting drunk
There IL no greater fool on earth" she
said, than the man who tries 70 pull
himself out OF trouble with q corkscrew.-
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
His Business,

From the way that fellow has been
talking to you ! judge he is a hot air
artist M
80 he is-7adyertising agent for a
new furnace"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

humble, when married has her dot
her little marriage portion. 1t is the
aggregate OF careful saving Of small
coins. . "rr- e55H Hg# a ~ #.
The French peasantry are the most
thrifty and most contented people IN
the world. With an absurdly small
holding OF an acre or two OF land they
are independent. EhE
We waste more than we saw
Noting the disposition OF the aver
age American to push pennies into
slot machines, a recent writer among
US makes this suggestion; @
Why not each OF us own his own
machine? @e - -.a.s,E
Why notf EaHssE ~ g-gh# j
Here is the opportunity for reducing
the high cost OF living or the cost OF
high living. Place a slot machine near
your front door, so that morning and
evening as you go out and in you may
utilize our copper cents. "..1
Think 1T over. Even II you do not
install the machine. the suggestion may
put you in the way Of thriftier habits,
Quit patronizing the slot machines
and begin .patroniZing yourself.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

Old liars are young n gone
to seed.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
WOMEN
Do you realize the fact that thousands
Of women are now using
A Soluble Antiseptic Powder

as a remedy for mucous membrane az
fections, such as sore throat, nasal or
pelvic catarrh, inflammation or ulcera-
ton. caused by female ills? Women
who have been cured say lit is worth
and apply locally. For ten years the
Lydia 70. Pinkham Medicine Co. has
recommended Paxtine In their private
correspondence with women.
For all hygienic and toilet uses 1t has
no equal Only Soc q large box at Drug
gists or sent postpaid on receipt OF
price. The Paxton Toilet Co., Boston.
Mass-
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
CIR LaBt 5nlntrr

Uhe years pass on and flowers come again,
Though with the course Of each revolving sun
Their ranks grow less who srew the gentle blooms
Above the graves Of those whose race is run.
% Bt that which time and seasons cannot change,
And fades not as the flowers bud may fade,
Is that rich heirloom in the natien heart
The memory Of his glorious past has made.
Jt needs not spring nor wealth Of floral need #
To call to mind the battle dangers braved.
Or wake to life the praise and gratitude .=
OF this great land his hero efforts saved,
Chat day will come-housh may il distant be-
When Death must place Its seal upon his brow;
But never dawn can break or day4ar beam
When Love and Honor will be less than now.
t PETER H. DOYLE
The day book., 1913-05-09

she was married at Hannibal, Mo-,
two years ago.
The marriage was soon broken up,
Mrs. Shriver returned to the home Of
her mother, Mrs. R. e. Robinson, a
dressmaker living at 713 South En-
glish avenue, this city.
She filed suit for divorce in the
circuit court of Sangamon county.
The divorce was granted on statu-
tory grounds April II last. By order
Of the court, Mrs. Shriver's maiden
name was restored to her.
Mrs. Shriver's attorney during the
divorce proceedings was G. Fred
Mortimer of this city.
Sam Davis, the liquor dealer who
has admitted he had something to do
with the preparation of the affidavit
charging immortality against O'Hara,
was attracted by the beauty of Mrs.
ShriYer many months ago.
G. Fred Mortimer is attorney for
Sam Davis. Through Mortimer,
Davis obtained an introduction to
Mrs. Shriver several months ago, be-
fore Mrs. ShriVer even had applied
for a divorce.
The name of Attorney Mortimer
runs all through the conspiracy.
Mortimer is the attorney who led
the disgraceful attempt to break up
the session of the O'Hara commits
sion held in the Leland Hotel two
weeks ago.
Mortimer also appeared ass attor-
ney for Boss Dick Sullivan. under
sheriff of Sanganon county, when
Sullivan was summoned before the
bar of the senate and ordered to pro-
duce the, affidavit he had talked of
so much.
It is said that it is true that Maude
Robinson, or Mrs. Shriver as she then
was, stayed at the Sherman House in
Chicago January II, 18 and 19 of
this year.
If i0 said that che uvou tha,a ,,,;EI, Il