davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-30

judge, jumping to his feet and SELL
ing law book. did you come here
to Insult me? If you don't get out Of
this Office double quick Ill break
every bone in your body!"
Bang! smash clatter!-the per
turbad Ned got through the doorway
just as the ponderous law tome
grazcd his head, shattered the glass
in the Office door and preceding him
on a rushing roll down the stairs and
to the street.
Ned sought his friend Cyrus for
consolation, but found that he had
suspiciously and mysteriously left
town on a fishing trip. He dared not
venture to call at the Allen home
that night, but managed to meet Leila
on the street.
"Oh, if only had that scapegrace.
Cyrus Moore!" cried Leila, when Ned
had narrated his dismal story.
why. what has Cyrus got to do
with it," asked the unsophisticated
Ned.
He has played one Of his practical
jokes on you and l will take delight
in boxing his ears when he puts in
an appearance again." declared the
irate little miss. About two years
ago some iokers got papa to join
the Sons of Menus They gave him
terrible initiation and he never
forgivos even an allusion to the host"
q certainly have put my foot in
it, groaned poor Ned.
"You certainly have" agreed Leila.
"N hat car do?"
go and see papa and explain" ad.
vised Leila.
Somehow Ned could not summon
up the courage to do this. He
passed the Allen home the next eve.
ming. There were no lights in the
house and he took up his station in
the shadow Of big tree
THE family have gone out to some
neighbours, ! suppose" he reasoned.
It'll stay here and catch the Judge
as he returns"
1t was nearly one-half an hour
later when Ned prcked up his ears.
The gate latch Of the Allen place
clicked and some one came out. He
recognized the light overcoat the
judge wore, As the pedestrian passed
him Ned stepped out from covert.
Just a word, judge" he began
biff!
The wearer of the overcoat shot
out his fist. dropped something he
was carrying and put down the street
on run
wei, this is quecr!' commented
Ned, staring vaguely after the fusi-
tive. lie dropped a package, | de-
clare"
Ned stared hard as he opened a pill
low case to find it stuffed full of sill
verware, documents and jewelry
tie guessed the oracle speedily--a
burglar had looted the Allen home,
taking the JUDGES overcoat as well.
Ncd sat down on the front steps
to await the return Of the Aliens.
Soon Leila and her father came into
view,
why, Ned" exclaimed the daugh-
ter.
THAT young mani" growlcd the
Judge. "Iou'll find a better password
than your last one, if you expect to
stay around here"
Yes, sce-this is my password on
the present occasion" explained Ned.
as he handed over the stolen plumber
and explained about it.
The judge was fairly delighted to
recover papers of great value, he de-
clared. Ned took heart.
Judge Allen he said manfully,
there's only one password I'll ever
use, If you consent to my plea for
happiness"
"And what's that?" asked tho
Judge.
"Leila-first, last and all of the
time-Leila'"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-30
Msle1y u Happiness.

-ost out In the sunlight ssys .
Georgia philosopher. and go Happi'
sess coming down the load, pickinG
q banjo for the whole world 70 dsnnal'
ATLANTA Constitution
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-30
Albert Vontoska
Teacher of Music

'raduated FROM the Conservatory OF
'slpzlg Germany. Member Amer.
an Federation of Musicians. sos
outh Virginia Ave., Lakeland
la, phone 299 Black. Lessons 10
iano, Harmony and Vocal Culture.
1ano Tuning. Orchestra furnished
or all occasions. Reasonable terms
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Authorization Gone Mad.

There are people in this country
who have so much respect for it's gov
eminent and institutions that they al
most consider those guilty of treason
who spell the capital of the country
Wash" 1t is all they can do to
restrain themselves when they get a
letter dated Wash, d. c." They
would just as soon see one addressed
to ''Bos., Mass" although Bait, Md,
or Phila., Pa, does not offend SO much.
Nobody but a human sloth would
think of writing on his envelope
Chic, ILL.," or Buff, N. Y" Yet the
practice of unauthorized contraction
has grown to such an extent that it is
high time that business houses lay
down the law, as found in the back
part of nearly any dictionary, against
the practice. And If you follow the
feelings of the purists in spelling,
you'd dock the man or woman a whole
days pay who is SO utterly dead to
patriotic instincts as to address a
letter to Wash, D. C."-Wall Street
Journal.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
CITY MANS DREAM OF FARM
III He Can Make 1t Come True There
Should Be Great Upiift of
Agriculture.

Every right-feeling city man looks
forward to spending his old age on a
farm in the country This is true
statement, but subject to modif1ca-
tons.
In the first place, the farm will be in
the country, but not too far in The
idea Is to have it near enou b ne city
to run in for a night at the .neater and
get home again by 1890.
The farmhouse will be a little more
complicated than farmhouses usually
are. 1t will be hot-water heated and
vacuum cleaned. 1t will have of tiled
bathrooms perhaps three, a Dutch
kitchen, an oak-painted dining room,
a library, billiard room, den, smoking
room, Louis Quatorze drawing room
and bedrooms with period furniture.
Farmers whose tastes are not SO sim
pie will doubtless add pergola and a
sunroom to this plain, but serviceable.
equipment.
The farm, whether It is 10, so or
100 acres, must have COW, chickens
and garden. The COW will lay milk
and butter, the chickens will lay eggs
and broilers and the gardens will lay
vegetables and small fruits. Also
there will be an orchard that will lay
apples. Since the farm is to be self
contained, It will raise its own violets,
mushrooms and American Beauty
roses, and will, Of course, have gaso-
line well at which the automobile can
be watered. While the owner Of the
farm will not engage in the actual
manual labor Of tilling the soil, he
expects greatly to assist nature by ex-
ercising an Intelligent supervision
over the growing crops. With him
bossing the job and half dozen farm
hands doing the chores, agriculture
may vel. apprehend great uplift.--
Toronto Star.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
MCCOY KNEW HUMAN NATURE
Explaining How the PugiIist Was Able
to Get His Car Through Jam
Where Others Failed.

Kid Mccoy drove down in his large.
shiny motor. A friend accompanied
him. Coming up the avenue was a
flock of hooting cars. 1t seemed i'm
possible for Mccoy to find a way
through.
Lets turn down side street, Kid"
said the friend. "We1l make by it."
Watch me-" said Mccoy.
He turned his head to one side, and
looked into the eyes Of the alarmed
friend. He drove his car right at the
approaching covey. Their drivers set
up quacking like lot of frightened
ducks. Mccoy drove on, without look
ing at the road ahead. All the other
cars pulled to one side and made way
for him. AS he passed, all the other
drivers leaned out of their cars to
make injurious comment upon Mr..
Mccoy.
"Get your bluff in first" sid Mccoy.
That's the rule in life that applies to
motoring as well as to fighting. II I'd
dropped back and honked timidly ev-
cry one of those guys would have
crowded me little farther into the
curb. Because they thought was a
careless, reckless, E-fat mushhead,
who'd as lief have an accident as not,
they gave me the right of way.'-New
York Times.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Father or All Hot SPRINGS.

The Sprudel is the most ancient of
all Carlsbads fountains, the father Of
all hot springs, and still pours forth
in primeval vigor the greatest food OF
all. 1t rises like geyser in its basin,
a steaming, spouting column an inch
and a half thick and from six to thir-
teen feet high. Around it stands priest
esses, the spring-girls, dressed in
white waterproof uniforms. They fix
the drinking cups at the end Of poles
and catch the water as it comes fresh
from the earth's heart. The peolo-
gists call Carlsbad's fountain virgin
or volcanic water They have their
sources in no rainfall sinking to fill
subterranean reservoirs. Created in
those glowing inner laboratories of
the mother earth, the water here leaps
to light and air for the first time. Pa
gan memories seem to stir in one
at the thought; 1t becomes easy to be-
lieve that the springs bring from re-
cesses where it has lurked hidden
since creation, some magic, unspoiled,
primeval energy, and that the cheer
full, smiling German peasant girls who
toll SO tirelessly are captive woodland
creatures serving forces more an
cient than the ds.-Harper's Maya
zine. fqs8 *o
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Upstairs Backward.

Walking upstairs backward is urged
by London physician as useful
practice in cases of heart weakness
and as helping in more equal dis
tribution of muscular wear and tear.
Firstly and most important" he
says, walking upstairs backward
would prevent any tendency to hurry.
No matter how inveterate stair
rush a man might be, he would have
to moderate his pace if going back
ward. This enforced elaboration
would, Of course, be of great value in
heart dis ease. The second effect would
be to relieve the strain from the ordi-
nary walking and climbing mucles
Chose on the front Of the thigh and
to press into service those on the
back Of the leg, which ordinarily do
no wo- : in climbing stairs. The total
result, therefore, might be a saving
in muscular wear and tear through a.
more economical distribution of ef-
fort. This, of course, would also be
of value In cases of heart weakness"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28

hat band. There will be all sorts OF
games, tennis. archery, boating, hath
ing at high tide, then supper at seven
and an informal dance afterwards.
The invitations said from -four to
midnight TIE favors are to be
symbolic of the sea. ALI sorts of
candy boxes In shape Of fish, lobster,
CARDS, CLAIMS and shells. The CEN
terpiece is to be miniature pond,
edged with moss, sand, and a lot OF
little sailboats floating about Best OF
all one of the girls is to have her
engagement announced at this supper
in this way. One of the largest boats
is to have the names Of the happy
pair on the side: Tom and Della"
and the waters to go with the iced
bouillon are ring shaped. Life buoy
waters. The pond is supposed to be
the sea Of matrimony." The place
cards are to be boat shaped with Bon
voyage" on the sail. The bonbons
are to be in shape of sea shells, deli
cately colored, pink and white, and the
ices are to be frozen ship shape with
sails bearing the names of the hon
ored twain This affair will bring the
parting Of the ways to q very happy
party of young people.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
OF Interest to Travellers.

Do not carry silver toilet articles,
but use ceiiuloid, as it is light, and
weight is great factor when packing
either bag or trunk. There should
be case for soap, tooth brush and
saEve boxes, and, Of course, comb
and brush, also clothes brush, button
hook and manicure things may be Sc
lected all Of the same pattern and col
or. Where two or three are travelling
together it is rather better for each
one to choose distinctive color, like
pink, blue or yellow. Manicure cases
are now SO small that all the imple-
ments" may be found inside the buff
er," the top lifting off, revealing every
thing packed in like peas in a pod
There are almost numberless articles
to be selected in leather, including
drinking cup cases, umbrella straps,
shawl straps, dress hanger cases con-
tanning either two or three forms,
clocks Of all Sizes medicine cases,
needle, thread and thimble cases and
the most stunning work bags, lined
with silk.
A folding umbrella is indispensable,
and it will fit in even a small suit
case not much larger than a man ca r
ries his cigars in, and suppose a
cigarette case would not be amiss, for
so many are doing it, now Doing
what?" / hear the chaperon ask, and
calmly say, Smoking" After all,
it is only matter of custom and en-
vironment, for a lately returned trav-
eler from South America who return
ed by way of England, says he saw
more women smoking than not
An individual mess set will not
come amiss, containing a folding
spoon, knife and fork, and there are
some new cases for lavender salts
| that have silver top. There are sew
eral sizes. Small TASKS and thermos
bottles may be included in the leather
gifts, also the cases filled with pow
der leaves, and in the more expensive
articles will be found the binoculars,
which add much 10 both ocean and
mountain travei. A pocket f1ashlight
costing only a dolla.r is not to be de-
spis ed, for one never can tell when
it may be comfort, and it is well
to be prepared for any emergency.
MADAME MERRI.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
THINGS THAT ALMOST HAPPEN
Steamboat Captain Tells Thy He
Hair ls Nearly White, Though
He Never Had an Accident.

eft is the things that almost hap
pen which cause gray hairs in this
business rather than the things that
actually occur" said a veteran cap
tain Of an excursion boat to a New
York Sun man.
when / was thirty-three years old
was running boat to Coney Island.
On one occasion, in the lower bay, fog
settled down thicker than mush /
held compass course and everything
went smoothly enough until it was al
most time to change the course and
head from the bay toward Coney. I
had heard a boat-by its whistle /
knew it was towing tug--pass me
further up the bay.
Even though / could not see the
bow of my boat, | was hanging with
my head out of the pilot house win
dow and straining my eyes to see,
when my quartermaster, who was
standing on the very peak of the
bow, called for me to reverse. l rang
for full speed astern and threw the
wheel hard to port.
The fog lifted Tor an instant and
dead ahead OF me I saw a scow with
Dynamite written on its side and a
red flag floating above it. | kept the
wheel hard over and it seemed to me
the engineer was an eternity in get
ting the engine reversed. We just
grazed the scow. / learned afterward
that 1t had been in tow of tug and
that the hawser broke and the tug
crew had lost sight of the scow in
the fog.
when l got home that night my
wife pointed out 6. gray hair-the first
had ever had.
SIN all my experience I've never
had serious accident, but as you see
have a head full of gray hairs
caused by things that almost hap
pened."
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Mi Desperandun1.

Percy Darlington rose and brushed
the dust from his knees. Then, draw
ing himself up to his full height, he
gazed resentfully upon the form of
Miss Muriel Muggins, who nonchalant-
ly famed herself the while.
Very well, Miss Muggins,' came in
bitter tones from Percy. ooh, very
we'll! You have spurned me, it is
true! Indeed, you have spurned
me twice! But, though despair eats
my heart, shall not die! / mean
to go into the busy world. l will
fight! / will win My name shall
become known and my riches shall
become envied-"
Pardon me for interrupting you,
Mr.. Parkington," interjected Miss
iMuggins, "but when you have ac-
3complished all that you may try me
again"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
DUEL WON BEFORE THE FIGHT
Weapons Chosen by Senator Will
lams, When Challenged, Gets
Germans Nerves.

In repoGe Senator John Sharp Will
Jams of Mississippi is one of the mild
est and best-natured and most inof-
fersive men imaginable, although ir
debate on the floor of the senate Mr.
Williams can show that he has some
fire in his makeup. No one would ac-
cuse him Of being bloodthirsty or Of
having ever fought duel. He did
once, though
1t was when he was attending the
famous Heidelberg university in Ger
many. a German, student challenged
John Sharp.
In Rome do as the Romans do, .
Mr.. Williams counseled himself.
Therefore he promptly accepted the
challenge.
Being the challenged person, be
had choice Of weapons. The German
was greatly disturbed when the
Americans second said sabers, the
usual duelling device, would not be
used. The Yankee fire-eater would
fight with United States army revolv-
ers.
This was unheard OF and the Ger
man the next morning was wreck.
His hand shook and the bullet
whizzed by John Sharp several feet
distant. The latter calmly aimed at
a fleecy cloudlet in the sky and let
60.
y
The principals then shook hands
and became fast friends.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
For Labor Day.

Very soon now the long vacation
will be over, "as Labor day ends our
fun" as the small daughter said when
her mother cruelty reminded her of
the approach Of school days. And if
1t had not been for the selfsame small
daughter you would not have had
these suggestions for what I am sure
will be novel shower" As usual it
was Polly" who thought and planned
1t all and am merely telling you
what she told me will take place in
the home a week from tomorrow
where the small daughter lives.
To make the day after Labor day
more bearable to this child, who is
fond of knowledge, but not fond of
school, the members of her family and
q few intimate friends who know and
love the wee maid have planned a
school shower" Here are some of
the gifts to be presented in all sorts of
unusual ways. A very pretty little
alarm clock is to be slipped into her
room after she goes to sleep on La
shower number one and is to be ac-
companied by funny note, saying how
tho clock wishes to be a helper and
must be wound UP every night in or
der to start her right each morning.
Then at the breakfast table she will
find new utility box containing all
sorts Of necessaries in way of rubber
bands, erasers and delightful surprise
pencils which come In all sorts of fas-
cinating shapes anything in shape of
a spade, q wee gun or pistol may
turn out TO be pencil. On the back
of her chair will be new book straps,
also bag for her books marked with
her initials. A new bag for Jacks"
and cunning little watering pot,
which will turn out to be an ink bot
tile, will be found among the par
GELS. Now that sewing is taught,
poly said she had found Just the
right kind of bag with basket bot
tom which contained all the necessary
sewing accessories done in the sweet
Indian grass and that was to be her
contribution.
Now / certainly have told you
enough SO that each mother may en-
large or curtail the ideas according
to her needs, but all of you who have
small daughters or sons may plan
some sort of shower to make a more
festive day of school.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28

WAS M0ONSHINERS' TARGET
Therefore, Congressman Kirkpatrick
of Iowa Carries Around Large
Amour. of Lead.

Sam Kirkpatrick of the Sixth Iowa
district carries about ton of lead
around underneath his skin-to hear
his friends tell it-and, even discount
ing the stories told about him as
much as 80 per cent, he still remains
one of the most picturesque charac-
tiers. of the house of representatives.
Sam is the mantle only man-who
did anything in congress toward get
ting the United States to pay for the
transportation of the District of Co
lumbia veterans who attended the
Gettysburg anniversary.
Almost all of his life Sam has
been a hunter of moonshiners. That
accounts for the lead, and it would
almost seem that he has been the
fayorite target for moonshiners. as ne
has been shot at so much that he has
long since lost count Thousands Of
shots must have missed him, but a
whole lot of bullets and bucksho: did
hit him, and he delightfully."- carries
them around with him.
His eyes were badly done up in the
last raid he led, so Sam is now about
blind, as a portion of his reward for
being a revenue officer for the past
twenty-seyen years, Three times he
has been left FOR dead on the field, the
surgeons who worked over him offer
ing to sacrifice their professional
reputation if Sam ever opened his
eyes again.
But you ought to see the other fell
lows. 1t Is a good guess IL Sam was
badly done up the other crowd must
have been wiped off the face of the
earth
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Pebble Industry in Normandy.

The pebble industry is becoming
quite important in upper Normandy,
France. The cliffs of the Caux re-
gion, undermined by subterranean
springs and by the waves Of the Eng
fish channel slip, fall and break They
are formed of a calcareous mass con-
tanning fiints. These f1ints fall to the
bottom of the sea, where they become
fiat and take an ovoid shape.
Their color is blue, spotted with
brown, yellow or red stripes. They
are used to manufacture concrete
stone and earthenWare, and their
dust is even employed to make paint
and rice powder imitation.
Over 10000 tons of pebbles are an
nually picked up on the Normandy
beaches. Most of it is sent abroad.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
Queer TRANSACTIONS.

When the Bible was translated into
Japanese, an equivalent to the word
"baptize" could not be found, and the
word soak" had to be used instead,
so that the Japanese Biblical students
are acquainted with a person named
John the Soaker,' and with doc
trine Of soaking for remission OF
SINS In that case the ministration
Is due to inadequacy Of language. A
school boy once rendered "Miserere,
Domino" into "Oh. heart-broken
schoolmaster!" And another recover
ed from German the text 1.-The spirit
indeed is willing, but the flesh Is
weak In the form, "The ghost OF
course. is ready. but the meat Is
feeble
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
outing Party.

This last week of our summer play
time is filled with all sorts of pleasant
farewell parties, not the least of which
Is the "sunbonnet and straw hat" af-
Fair arranged by a seaside hostess.
The girls are asked to wear wash
Erocks, and the men outing suits;
when they arrive, dainty sunbonnets
Of pink. blue and white will be pre-
sented to the girls and large straw
bats to the men, with bands of pink,
blue and white. Each man is to find
. girl with the bonnet to match his
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
VALUE OF WORLDS DIAMONDS
Estimates That Finished Output Could
BE Packed In Box Measuring
3x6x8 Feet.

Diamonds of the weight of twenty
eight and two-fifths tons, which would
fill space of ten and one-half cubic
yards and have value Of nearly ST.
DOC, O00, 900, have been taken from the
earth from the earliest time to the
present day, according to the esti-
mate just made by M De Launay, the
we'll known metallurgist, writes the
Paris correspondent of the Philadel-
phia Ledger.
These figures, however, only con-
Germ the stones before cutting which
reduces their weight volume by half,
but multiplies their value by five. A
box three feet high, six wide and
eight long would thus hold the total
worlds output of these gems in their
finished condition and would have a
market value Of s4,700, 100000 accord
ing to present prices.
OF this quantity, according to M.
De Launay, 100.0O0,000 carats Of the
value Of $S5,00O.O0O have been con-
tributed by India, the source of all
diamonds from ancient times up to
the eighteenth century, and 100000
carats of the value of $100,000,000 by
Brazil between 1923 and 1910. These
fields are now, however. practically
exhausted, and gems representing
$4,000, 900 carats Of the value Of $780,
100000 would come from South AT
RIGA, which is now almost the sole
source Of the worlds supply.
Apart from South Africa, Mr.. De
Launay says, the only other diamond
fields which count at all are those Of
New South Wales, the annual output
of which, according to the last fig-
ures, is 2,205 carats.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1913-08-28
FOR a Gloomy Piazza.

A dark piazza may be much relieved
by the use of willow chairs in their
natural state, with cushions of bright
crimson. The bright red cushion in
the white or green enameled chair is
also very inviting and cheering.