Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-26

got there in the afternoon. and. being as
shy as a squirrel and awkward and en-
barrassed, he didn't know what to do
with his hands or his feet. He didn't
cradle. At the end of thirty minutes he
said he thought he had better go.
oh. please don't go yet said the
lady
so. because he didn't want to make
the girl mad, as he expresses it, he stay
ed till supper time. The girl pressed him
to stay, and his embarrassment knew no
bounds.
well. he was so SHY that he didn't
know how TO refuse the things that were
passed to BIN even when he had eaten
enough to kill ten men. AS they say In
Kentucky, :He didn't choose any more,
but he couldn't find the nerve to refuse.
They kept passing him biscuits until he
had eaten about forty and his vest came
near bursting. He lay back in his chair
and tilted so his legs We're out straight
in an effort to get his breath Now. the
floor was smooth and this fellows heels
were smooth. and he shot under the table
like d sudden mountain avalanche. He
went all the way under. There were
couple of hounds sleeping under the la
BILE, and, awakened from their SlumberS,
they proceeded to tear the mans clothes
off his back. 1t made terrific racket,
and in his efforts to get out of difficult
ties he rose straight up. tipped over the
table, supper and all, emerging with the
dogs hanging to him. The family was
very nice about it, cleared u? the wreck
age and said no more.
with all this behind him. the girl still
pressed him to stay and brought him
large pan of popcorn to eat. In his al
ready stuffed state it was mortal agony
even to think of eating more, but still,
not wishing to offend the girl, he packed
it into his mouth. An hour later the girl
produced a half bushel of apples and our
friend writhed in agony.
He wanted to get up and go away
from that place. but the family made him
spend the night. | think, too, they
brought further refreshments at 10 o'clock
and again at II. What he most wanted
was a drink of water, and didn't dare ask
for il. He lay awake with parched throat
until about 1 O'Clock in the morning.
Then he got up, sneaked downstairs to
the well, and just as he was fitting the
bucket to his lips the same two hounds
that tore his clothes under the table mis-
took him for an intruder and went for
him with redOubled vigor. They finished
the job they had started earlier in the
evening.
well, sir. before the farmer could get
down to see what was the matter the
man left. He made straight for home.
He never showed up again, AND [ under
stand he never called on another girl in
his life"
This is to serve notice from the Inter-
national Union of Jokesmiths that here
after all references to the moose heads
in the state dining room at the White
House are barred At the last White
House reception every other person look
ed up at the elegantly mounted speci-
mems and remarked:
'Oh, what a funny place for a bull
moose
AS was mentioned before-that sort of
thing is barred by the union rules.
x x x X
Irving Norwood was in town last week
Remember him, he's the big lad who
weighed about 200 pounds exclusive of
the weight of hot air he carried with him
to elegant purpose. Irving went to
Davenport, Iowa, and is making SO good
that the merchants of New York have
just telegraphed him TO go to the me-
tropolis and deliver Il speech on How to
Organize.
Now, perhaps Irv knows something
about the subject. 1t doesn't make bit
of difference to him whether he does or
not, he's going to make that speech. If
he carries the breeze with him that he
had blowing around his wondrous fea-
lures when he fetched his grip into
Davenport, he Will be Juggling the Singer
building back to Iowa.
Out there in the west people make
obeisance every time you mention the
name of high official and Irv took with
him sheaf of fine letters from every
body in Washington from the President