Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-02-21

hours. and still come people claim
it is a long time between drinks.
Is the country to go crazy over the
new anc known AS the horse
riot. Neigh. neigh.
Doctor says hot water will cure
delirium tremens. 1t MAY he added
ihat IL a MAJ never drinks anything
but hot water he will never have EN-.
\ Chicago waiter has been arrested
for flirting after being warne once
by the police. He is believed To be the
first waiter in history who refused to
TAX amy kind of "A tip.
II was q great joke on the robbers
who held up a train in Texas to find
that the porter had already taken up
his collection and disappeared.
The tight skirt is Il sure cure for
houseWork of any kind.
Most of the email beauty dope in
this county is being written by men
who have filet de mignon compilations
and warts mn their noses.
There are a good many honest men
who die in the poor house. but Il good
mann more who don't.
Mr.. Wilson is trying to- make Mr..
Bryan and Champ Clark bury the
hatchct. IL he does it will be WORTH
while to notice Who they will bury
it in.
Ha1os1SSoVvI DINte. vi NiTedl bTlVdlu.
praises our constitution. but he doesn't
say much about the Declaration of In
dependence.
DR.. Carroll says he ran heal a broken
leg I'M four days. but AS yet no cure
has been discovered for n leg that has
been pulled.
What are traffic regulations to a
woman who is driving her new cleo
trio.
Easter falls ON March 2s this year.
Do Your Easter hating early.
The airShip trade is falling off. SO
are many wi the a%viators.
Militant s~uffragets are cutting tele-
phone wires in England. but 1t doesn't
seem like the suffragets to do amy
thing that would interfere with talk
ing.
P~resident-elect Wilson saws he homes
to popularizc the United States senate.
But no president is expected to ac-
complish the impossible.
Lincoln pitt rails. but the modern
statesman splits hairs.
+. Jenerson's authorship of the dec
laration of Independence is now dis
puted. Some day. probably. somebody
Will claim that Joe Bailey. of Texas,
didn't write the constitution.
=
BILLS MISSION.
The other fellers went away ana
ought for pastures new,
And wished to make their fortunes
AS most young fellers do.
The news came back from all of 'em;
they got along first rate:
The only Young man left around this
town was just Bill Tate.
The Years went by and other men made
fortunes by the score
But Bill Tate just set out i'm front of
Tibbitts' gruc'ry store.
The war came on and young men
went and fit for Uncle Sam.
They most all went except Bill Tate
who stayed serene and calm.
The stories came back home of deeds
of Nalour ON the field.
And when the nome boys won a fight
how all the church bells pcaled.
The folks at home were simply wild
to hear the cannonS roar.
But Bill Tate just set out i'm front of
Tibbitts' gruc'ry store.
The time of peace and plenty came
n farmers titled the soil,
And artisans all bent their backs unto
their daily toll.
The busy milkinaid sang her song, the
driver cracked his whip;
The engineer sped with his train. the
captain sailed his ship.
Each one seemed bent with all his
soul upon his daily chore.
But Bill Tate just set out i'm front OF
Tibbitts' gruc'ry store.
The other boys are dead and gone
their earthly troubles through:
But Bill just seemed to linger on as
loaferS always do.
He amt got nothing on his mind ex-
cepting his old hat:
He doesn't worry even when the town
goes democrat.
When Gabriel comes here to lead Us
to the other shore.
He'll find Bill right out i'm front OF
Tibbitts' gruc'ry store.
THE INSTAI.MEN PLAN.
In eighteen hundred e%ighty-one
| listened to "A man.
And he sold me a fine shotgun
), On the instalment plan.
I'D like to get the paying done,
But don't believe l can.
each Monday during all the years
He's been right at the door.
1t seems as though he really fears
III seek some foreign shore:
IAnd each time that the man appears
, l swear to have his gore.
The whole world seems to stop until
! pay my share each week.
/, You'd think 1t was "A monstrous bill
. To near the fellow squeak.
In tone mysterious until
/ feel just like a sneak.
TIM sure that when | die
/, I'll still be on his slate.
. And every Monday he will HE
/ Unto the pearly gates.
I n call me out and heaye "A sigh
II I'm one minute late.