The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1913-08-21
The Hoss Driven Ten Miles a
Day and Not Kickin'
on Its Treatment.
Defendant Pleads His Own
Case and Jury Says
mot Guilty"


burden, was making his daily rounds
on the wide and beautiful streets of
Oakes, seeking something with which
to amuse himself.
This vulnerable and mobile person.
age drifted to the main drag of our
enterprising village, and holy horrors!
What terrible vision descends yon dis
tant hill (?) Is it a horse? Yes it's
even so. 1t was a horse, which was
sporting badly swayed vertebrae,
outside of that the horse was capable
of making at least mile in an hour
without harmful results.
Forthwith Mr.. Gibbs, on account of
his kindly and humane nature, raised
a mighty roaring roar, and caused the
man who had committed the BASTARD
ly crime of propelling said "crowbait"
at an unlawful rate of speed, to,wit:
Ten miles per day-committed to the
city bastile.
Then followed the trial of the case
which bids fair to become one of the
most celebrated cases in the annals of
criminal Jurisprudence.
At nine o'clock everything was all
set. The umpire" was in his box
and counsel had stepped up to bat, re-
served seats in the grand stand were
taken by the prominent citizens of
Oakes, who were looking for a little
recreation, and a change from the
dull routine of city life.
Numerous exhibits were introduced
by the efficient prosecutor. "Crow
bait" marked Exhibit Az was ad-
mitted, but did not show any signs
f abuse or cruel and harsh treat
ment- The old plug spent most of
the time in paving the earth and
seemed to be possessed of enormous
quantities of energy.
Considerable testimony of varied
sorts was introduced, and did show
that the defendant was man of even
m,re "red blood" and greater tenden-
cies to mind "his own business" than
were some others. The medical testi-
mony in the records of the case of
State VS. Harry Thaw, was mere bag
atelle, as compared with the testimony
OF the Eminent Physiological expert,
Arthur Bartlett, Esq, in the case of
State VS. Bell.
Said expert is and has been the
proud possessor of many horses, good
bad and Indifferent, and "'lows" that
ne could tell the age of even cent?
pede by taking squint of the teeth
OF said haDitant of Bugdom. His tes-
timony on the vital points was about
as satisfying as the answers of GER
tam trust magnaies, and were largely
of a contradictory nature. First he
said that this antiquated "crow bait"
was about seven years old, and then,
upon second thought, decided that sew
enteen was nearer the mark. Finally
thought twenty-seven was correct
guess. Great! Many are the evils
that are cured by expert testimony,
especially when given by one of the
leading horsemen of the country. And
say, the testimony re those teeth was
rich. 1t sounded like state dental
clinic. The store of information, Ar
thur had up his sleeve regarding mo-
lars, filings, false cups, refined "eye
teeth" clippers" etc., etc., was mar
velous to say the least.
Now it came to pass that after
three hours ftful fighting and scanda-
lous battling that counsel made their
respective arguments to "their mighty
peers" and who were charged by "his
Lordship."
Now even jurymen arehuman be-
lngs, and after being compelled to lis
ten for three hours while counsel at
tackled the reputation of, and defended
ed the reputation of defenseless
Grow bait," they became hungry. A.
ter retiring they deliberated on the
advisability of having lunch before
proceeding to business. Said lunch
was procured and devoured by the
jury, who soon afterwards brought in
their verdict of mot guilty."
This prosecution has cost the city
$50 or better and there is little salts
faction for anyone. Would respect
fully request that when the city has
some more surplus cash with which
to carry on the scientific researches
at the request of the private citi-
zens, that they make him guarantee
costs and not make the taxpayers,
who are the rally the "fall guys" pay
for it.
Bell is from st. Joseph, Mo. He.
came here in quest Of work, driving
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