davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
LISTENS!
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
What's the matter with the Ngirls. these
days? Can't they hold the attention OF
any one? Is it necessary to keep repeat-
ing the word listen in an ordinary talk
where the "talkee' is all attention? A
miss of perhaps II years asked for GER
tain brand OF face powder In a drug store
recently. This is fair account Of what
she said Listen! want box Of yoh
face powder. Litsen! Do you keep that
there kind that comes withSwith mir
ror? You know the kind mean. Listen!
What shade do you think need? Is
Raychel RacheD too dark? Listen
That was as much as heard But Il
was enough. If girl has toothache, or
a wart on her finger, or headache, it
is Listen, listen, listen. to the patient
or in many cases impatient drug clerk
No mics, it seems, considers her vocabu-
larry up to date unless It is burdenef with
listen" Girls. take tip. Put 1isten'
on the shelf.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
The Proposed Music Festival

AS soon as the guarantee fund for a
music festival is raised contract will
be signed with the Cincinnati orchestra
and other details Will be worked out as
quickly as possible" said member of
the festival board.
Among the star attractions probably
will be Schumann-Heink, who is not only
great operate fayorite, but without ex-
ception the most popular concert singer
in the United States. She is in such de-
mand that not tenth of the offers that
come to her every season can be accepted.
In addition to Schumann-Heink the fes-
tival management intends to engage either
Alma Gluck or some other celebrity of
her class.
'The Cincinnati orchestra is one OF
the five or six first-class symphony or
ganizations of this country. The present
conductor, DR.. Gunwald, was one of the
great musicians of Berlin. He ranks
second to none as symphony conduc-
tor"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
a MAN YOU'VE MET.

Who is it fills this world with woe?
The knocker s
Who never seems the good to know?
The lznoelzer.
Who takes great pains in running down
His trusting neighbours fair renown?
Who doth on all our ventures frown?
The knocker
Who spends his time in picking flaws?
The knocker;
Who ne'er speaks well of any cause?
The knocker.
Who keeps our bosoms brimmed with
sighs?
Who brings the tear-drops to our eyes?
Who won't be missed when once he dies?
The knoclxer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

of choosing his words with care, prac-
tioe which he has endeavored to instill
into the family circle. made a memoran-
dunn of the misused words uttered by his
son and daughter during recent break
fast. Here is the result: Elegant, 10
times; awful, II times; dandy, times;
fierce, times; great, 2 times. When the
meal was over the head of the household
called the family around him in the IL
brary and gravely read the totals to
them. Gee, that's fiercer' said the SON.
isn't il awful" said the daughter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
THE TIGER

IHE IlGkIM
By William Blake.
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symnetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews Of thy heart?
And. when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?
What the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
Tiger, tiger. burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetrYs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

and the feather boa was the success Of
the season.
Inc uncurled plume, so fashionable in
Paris few years ago and revived re-
Gently IN another manner was purely the
result of an accident. The biggest race
OF the year. the Grand Fix dAuteuil.
was on, and women were there dressed
WITHIN an inch OF their lives A fearful
faihstorm came up and people were
drenched. Plumes that had left home
finely curled were wet ard each spiral
stood apart. 1t was not pretty, the ef-
feet, but it was original, and one of inc
miiliners, not wishing to take the trouble
to have the plumes OF all his customers
recurled, advised them TO allow the gar
nlsh to remain as it was
Tfat week following the Grand Prix
dAuteuil saw nothing but straight spiral
piumes, and women liked them SO much
that before the following Sunday, when
the Grand Prix de Longchamp was toNbe.
women who had curled plumes had the
wave taken out, so that they might ap-
pear like the other fashionables. For
more than year the defrissee plume
was sought. As a whole. fashion is like
In this instance, only the result of an ac-
cident. Sometimes 1t is the outcome OF
an experiment But like the women. il
is capricious and changeable and capable
of almost anything within reason.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
The Rhodes SchoIarships

All friends of higher education will
be Interested in an editorial in last
Sundays New York Sum-" remarked a
professional man. THE writer of the
article says in part: The report of
the Rhodes scholarship trust issued re-
Gently shows that the endowment is
working smoothly and satisfactorily
and may be expected ultimately to
achieve the results which its founder
had in mind in creating 1t. 1t is too
early, as yet to say exactly how much
influence the Rhodes scholars will have
upon the public and social life of ther
respective lands, but as the years go
by and their numbers increase 1t is
safe to assume that throughout the
British empire at least the leaven of
the culture which association with OK
ford Is supposed to give must exercise
an appreciable influence on stand
ards and>ideals of life. This result
may be anticipated with the more con-
fidence since the majority of Rhodes
scholars seem inclined to adopt an
educational career, while very large
percentage enter the legal profession,
from the ranks of which in the British
colonies, as in this country men promi-
nent in public life are most commonly
recruited.
"'In the United States it hardly
seems likely that the influence of the
Rhodes scholars will ever be very
marked, nor Is 1t particularly desirable
that it should be- The attitude of an
American toward oxford is necessarily
different from that of a citizen of a
British colony. The latter looks to OK
ford as to parent university, an i'm
portant wheel in the system of which
he also is part. We in America have
our own university traditions, differ
ing from those of English universities.
and our own national ideals. and con-
sequently we look upon course at
oxford as desirable finish to an ed
ucation, welcome opportunity for ac-
quiring at first hand an understanding
Of ideas and ideals and conditions of
life that are different from our own.
but to understand and to sympathize
with these things is by no means to
wish to make them a part of our own
national life.
Attchtioi IA liiiS couutIy SnOulQ be
directed to one result of the scholar
ships. They have involved criticism
Of our educational methods which
should not be overlooked All author
ities agree that on the whole the Amer
lean Rhodes scholar is at disadvan-
tage in competition with the student
who has passed through the sixth form
of one of the English public schools.
and this is attributed to haste and lack
of thoroughness in the groundwork of
our education. Few viii be found to
deny the justice of this criticism and
we should be grateful for the Rhodes
scholarship foundation If only because
1t enables us to test our own educa-
tional methods in open competition
with those of another country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Gulf Refining company is about to
cut melon. The stock is to be in
creased from s15,Ooo0Oo to s6oooo,o0o. Each
stockholder will get 100 per cent of his
present holdings free and he can sub
scribe for more of it at 500 a share. The
company is owned and managed by Pitts
burg capitalists. Its oil fields are located
in Texas, Louisiana and Mexico.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
CAN YOU REAT Ir2

"Gribble is the worst pessimist I know"
"Why do you say that?"
II met him this morning, so rich in joy
Gus suggestions of spring. and what do
you suppose he said?"
Il can't imagine
HE said, Well. we'll soon be bothered
with flies again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Richmond Times-D Dispatch says
there has never been a Baptist President
of the United States. We have had eight
Episcopalians, six Presbyterians, four
Methodists, two members of the Dutch
Reformed church, two Congregationalists
two Unitarians and one member of the
Christian church.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

George r. Washburn, editor of the Wine
and Spirits Bulletin, declares that steps
will be taken at once to secure an In
junction against the operation OF the
Webb law until the question of its consti-
tutionality had been settled by the United
States supreme court
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION.

"A jokesmith wants to know what be-
comes of the hole in a doughnut when
you eat the doughnut?'
That's simple enough. The hole re-
mains suspended in the air, but you can't
see it,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
The New Admini.tration

president Wilson Is making a good
start" said Charles r. Downey of Phil
adelphia. Il passed through Washing
ton Monday but did not stop over because
did not care to be in the crush.
II have been voter for some years,
but my first democratic ballot was cast
last November. had not been much of
q republican, but voted for Mckinley
In 1s96, which was the year I became of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
FAvoRITE FICTION.

I'VE Have Come To Stay"
"The Little Darling Is Perfect Pic
ture of His Father
I'm Glad They Didn't Invite Me to
Their Party; l wouldn't Have, Gone, Any
way"
Yes, That's Sure Sign of Rain; in
Twenty Years I've Never Known 1t to
Fail"
Waiter. I'm Sorry 1 Can't Make 1t a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Colonel Roosevelt was studying the COL
lection of paintings of the cubists or
futurists on exhibition in New York when
the Inauguration ceremonies were going
on in Washington.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
A SMOOTH ONE.

81 Witherbee would never drink
And ne'er was known to swear:
Nor would he smoke, but do not think
His soul was white and fair,
Although he wore pious look
And prayed With right good WILL
At heart he was as great a crook
As ever tapped TILL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Hon. Henry l.. Stimson no longer
sits where he can dwarf the river de-
velopment of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The President rides a plain bicycle, not
a motorcycle. He believes in Jeffersonian
simplicity so far as invention and Gus
toms will permit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Vermont pays hedgehog bounty of Is
cents head. One farmer, it is said, has
a hedgehog preserve and in a single year
he gathered in $1,000 in bounties.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
sIGNIFICANT.

"She wouldn't let you kiss her, eh?''
mo She said it wasn't sanitary
"Umphi She doesn't care much about
you, SON"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The price Of whalebone has been reduced
to 81 pound 1t formerly was IS. Steel
has supplanted it,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Pujo, the head of the money trust inves.
tigation, is now mere citizen, and is al
together harmless. He was not reelected
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
sIDEsTEPPING A TOUCH.

Sir, could you assist a heart bowed
down.
I'm afraid not. I'm not a heart spe-
cialist"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT.
She used to call poor hubby up
Ten times day and ask him how
He did, but that was years ago
Bridge parties keep her busy now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Gates millions are to be offered DR..
L. L. Friedman, specialist, who is said
to havo discovered cure for tuberculosis,
for restoration to health of Henry Rock
well Baker, % years old, nephew of the
financier was much endeared. Young
Baker is now at Colorado Springs, Col,
with his bride of few months, who was
st. Charles girl She went west with
Baker when he sought climate which
would aid In fighting off an advance 81
lung trouble. He would not go unless
she accompanied him. They were married
after they reached the western city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Secretary of Agriculture will be
judged by the amount of benzoic acid
he permits Gamers to use
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Citizen Taft just did get his budget mes
sage in before he cashed in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The Inauguration is over and the win
ming of the pennant is the next great
task.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Washington should endeavor to become
fully civilized community before 1916.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Washington has as many disorderly ten-
de..ces as 1t has magnificent distances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Mr.. Taft viii not visit Oyster Bay on
his way to New Haven. This is good as
official.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Leading 22-year-old donkey and wear
ing khaki uniform, b. II. Anderson left
Portland, Me-, to settle an election bet
on Theodore Roosevelt by walking to Port
land, Ore. Anderson agreed in the event
OF the defeat of Roosevelt and his run
ming mate. Hiram Johnson, to lead the
donkey across the continent, and, on the
way, to call on the President of the
United States at Washington. Anderson
was page in the House of Representa-
tives when ex-President Roosevelt was
inaugurated. The donkey carried a BAN
land-The Man Who Lost His Bet" For
President in 1916, Theodore Roosevelt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Instead of writing it President Wilson
is now called upon TO make history.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Indiana will miss Thomas Riley Mar
shall, but he will emerge from obscurity
four years hence
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

, Quarter. But I've Nothing Except Tais
Dime and n $50 Bill"
I'm Sure We Shall Be Delighted to
Hear the Story. MIR. Borus; Go Ahead"
Il Thank You for Calling My Attention
to That Grammatical Error, Professor. =
Chicago Tribune.
THOSE ANCIENT WORTHLESS.
King Solomon would join no lodge
He feared that on returning
thousand wives would wait for him,
A thousand candles burning.
Peoria Journal
Old Jonah was modest chap
As ever took to- sailin';
He never gave a picture-talk
On How | Went a-Whalin'!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Old Noah was a sailor bold,
A navigator tireess,
And got about quite well, we're told,
Before the days of wireless.
HAS A GOOD EYE. THOUGH.
/"There goes mar, who reads all the
time, yet 1 dare say he couldn't tell us
who wrote David Copperfeld. ,"
"Welli Welll What on earth does he
read?''
Gas meters" ...-
HOW ONE GOT IN.
st. Peter settin' at de gate;
Niger passin' by
st. Peter up an sez ter him
How did you come ter die?"
Go ak de man whut helt de gun
A-p'intin' at dat roos';
Go AK de dog whut helt my foot
An wouldn't turn hit loosen'
AN So" ST. Peter sez to him.
You wus kotch in de ac?"
Dat niger turnt an booked at him
An spons: Hit is fac!"
Down in de pit den you mus 81
Fer stealin NV dat henri
Dat niger scratch his haid right hard
st. Peter had him dem
But d'reckly liftin up his arms,
He flop EN- on his side
An zactly like a rooster crow
Three times out loud he cried!
ST. Peter hung his hafa in shame
He 'membered NV his sim
An grahbin' up a great big key.
He let dat niger I'M
New Orleans Picayune.
INTOLERANT ATTITUDE.
"Brindlesburg is an old-fashioned town."
''Ante-bellum manners and all that sort
of thing?"
We'll. not exactly that, but we still have
a great many people here who look on the
'angieworm wiggle' as an invention OF
the devil"
WHY HE'S FAMOUS
There was post-impressonist
Who daubed until he tainted,
And no one in the whole wide world
Could tell what twas he painted
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

There are many job hunters to the acre
in washington at present.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
INTOLERANT ATTITIrnr

"Brindlesburg is an oId-fashioned town.
'Ante-bellum manners and all that sort
of thing?"
We'll, not exactly that, but we still have
a great many people here who look on the
'angieworm wigglef as an invention OF
the DEVIL"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

The glow-worm shows the matin to bs
near,
And ,rins to DpIe his Intellectual fire.
Hamlet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
A DRIFT WITH THE TIMES

Quarter. But I've Nothing Except Tais
Dime and a $50 Bill"
I'm Sure We Shall Be Delighted to
Hear the Story. Mr.. Borus; Go Ahead.
I Thank You for Calling My Attention
to That Grammatical Error, Professor. =
Chicago Tribune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
HAS A GOOD EYE. THoUGH.

HIS n dOOD II I 7, I ifIOJGII,
/"There goes man who reads all the
time, yet L dare say he couldn't tell us
who wrote David Copperfeld.'
"Welli Well What on earth does he
read?'
Gas meters"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07
WHY HE'S FAMOUS

WHY HE'S FAMOUS.
There was a post-impressionist
Who daubed until he tainted,
Ana no one in the whole wide world
Could tell what twas he painted.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

THOSE ANCIENT WORTHLESS.
KING Solomon would join no lodge
He feared that on returning
thousand wives would wait for him,
A thousand candles burning.
Peoria .Iot1rnaf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

Old Noah was a sailor bold,
A navigator tireless,
And got about quite well, we're told,
Before the days of wireless.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-07

From the New York Evening Sun.
-HAT many of the fashions which
became famous in their day and
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-21

Luther Burbank has invented q
seedless prune. which will tend 10
shorten boarding house meals about
fifteen minutes.
90
But one kind of grape juice does
not make hit at the White House.
That kind is champagne.
90
The knickerbocker craze at Yale
viii not find an exponent n Prof.
William Howard Taft
Eminent scientist says that dan
delion greens are fine for liver trout
Bile, but It doesn't seem as though he
could be so very eminent or he
wouldn't recommend anything 20
cheap.
DR.. Wiley says man does not
reach his highest efficiency until he
is so years of age. Let's see. Isn't
that about the doctors age2
Washington's smart set has de-
cided to snub the Wilson administers
ton The Wilson administration
seems to be pretty lucky.
Fashion experts predict tighter
skirts for women. Then there Will
certainly have to be thinner women.
that's all.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-21
BY ADELINE CARRICK WELLS.

Copyright by Newark Publishing Company
though hardly they so in so short tms
on and S n so s1a Us the Of the we
is wanted to know
fs
ss s sn' aa q s At n sssf y a where
aTn hn9w s wh n you y, mean ns Day orov told him
there be
s Maybe .s. the e. z
only they don't really Away off there somewhere
sailed of
pointing
s sn1 pTa ase ship 0u Davs i boeay
son.. ss nc, nothing ing baby
G She
rs Is. WHAT naasr.l Days %
= sS''as
better Dorothy was doing no " ''s
keep with IT,
30 wen be there when comes ashore"
umbrella Now don't ask so many questions cause want
sds place BY tins time the umbrella was only few Yards out Every
] a h e nm s SIP as gd es aGp big wave Dorothy
Get back Davis: you'll get wet she shrksd suddenly for Davie
coming his feet When Dorothy he
wetting his brown
'A's Nov s you'll GI' catch chit it" cried Dorothy
he Look there comes
This time Ror rot yss grabbed tm thine 1
be sprsed?"
s
We'll" she She said last I'VE might well
mothe
for
Nellie smiled
could declaring that they
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-21

So II happened that when his guar
dian and uncle insisted that the
young man begin the study of medi-
cine his mind turned toward the great
war secretary. With caution and
secrecy he set apart for himself that
portion of the old silver which be-
longed to his father and of which
he was the rightful heir. This was
all of his fortune. With it he went
away out to the world. nor did his
uncle know where he had gone.
In New York city he sold his sill
yer TO a silversmith and then went
on to Washington, purposing calling
upon John C. Calhoun.
So much of his history the late
General James Watson Webb mar
rated in the closing years of his life
to some of those who were near TO
him.
IT shall always remember John c.
Calhoun with the greatest sense of
gratitude. 1 differed with him po-
litically later" said General Webb.
but my political differences never
obliterated the high regard had for
him. l went to Washington solely
for the purpose of asking Calhoun.
who was then secretary of war, if
he would appoint me to a lieutenancy
in the army.
1T was an audacious purpose, al
though then I did not realize 1t to be
such. | was not a graduate of West
Point. I had no political influence. I
was in Washington really as a run
away from my home. Yet when l
called upon Calhoun l was inspired
by the feeling that a man who could
accomplish what he had done in re-
organizing the war department might
be willing to listen to such a plea as
I could make.
HE received me very kindly.
think he realized my position. He
asked me in a very gentle, kindly
tone what he could do for me. l told
him that 1 would like to have him
appoint me a lieutenant in the army.
He looked at me earnestly and in
quiringly for a few moments. and I
saw that he was reading me through
and through with his kindly, yet
piercing, eyes.
HE asked me what my aualifica-
tions were l told him that l had
nothing but the record of my father
upon which to base my application.
He asked me what my fathers record
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-21
Seen and Heard at
the Four Corners
BIZ BRIGHT EYES

1 don't know why they do il, but AZ
the -Four Corners they refer to stenoe-
rsphers wearing sheath skirts as
visible typewriters.
Q Q 0
see by the papers that "S5,ooo.0p9
slip in on bananas. since that fruit
has been taken off the free list and
a tax of FIVE cents a bunch imposed
But there'n be more slipping when
they're eaten
/ wonder what rake-off the razor"
agitators will get for successfully
securing raise" for the journeymen
BARRIERS. Salt Peter said the safety
razor dealers were backing the strike.
Maybe SOL
Well. what do you know about tlaisf
A Passaic women wants a divorce SO
that she may renew her former
beautiful friendship" with her hus-
band. Since marriage she has seen
nothing of him. Maybe he's having
some beautiful friendships Of his own
on the side.
safe. sound and simple. said a
local speaker at a dinner in the
Washington restaurant last night
But. gentle reader. he was speaking
of the new currency bill and not Of
the Fourth of July celebration the
local committee is planning Thatli
be safe and simple" without the
sound"
Dr. Friedman will return 10 his own
country with $4,000 in cash as adj
vance payment for his turtle serum"
No doubt he regards this as the snap
variety of the product of the beast
Q CO
Our Senator MARITIME publicly
thanked goodness that he is NOT
one of the four hundred or so lawyers
in Congress. And we understand that
the lawyers are equally thankful; so
everybody ought to be satisfied.
Here's the latest specimen of a true
blue baseball fan. He lives IN Irr-
ington. and has nine carrier pigeons
bring him the score by innings Of
every game. In case of an extra
inning game the poor man has to
tear out his hair until our pink
edition arrives. Then he gets It all.
and almost as quick as via the bird
air line"