The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-02-04
ON THE SPUR OF
THE MOMENT.
BY Roy x. MouIton.
BY Roy K. MouIton.
It Pays to Be Polite.

"A young man who gave I'D his
sleeping berth on a Southern railroad
to an old lady received $4,000 under
her viii, when she died a month later,
all of which leads me to the complica-
ton of the following rules:
When feshy old gentleman steps
upon your corn while climbing in his
seat at the theater and then stands on
1t for a minute or two while nodding
to an acquaintance in the rear of the
house, do not call him an antiquated
bonehead or an ivorybeaned old ga.
loot, but smile upon him graciously
and offer him the other foot to step on.
Make few pleasant remarks about
the weather and ask after the state If
health Of his family. Then go out and
buy him bouquet of violets and pre-
sent them to him.
II an old lady with square spectacles
who looks as though she might have
money, sticks an umbrella point in
eye. life your hat politely and ask her
IL she won't have an ice cream soda.
II gentleman in the train piles his
baggage in your seat while you are in
the smoker, give him a good cigar and
sit on the floor.
If a man runs you down with an au-
and one of his lamps on his car, send
him a new lamp and a bouquet Of
American beauties as soon as you are
out Of the hospital.
There are thousands of occasions Of
this kind of which you may take ad-
vantage and which may pan out well
You never can tell just who is going to
die and leave money or just whom
they are going to leave it to,
From The HickeyviIIe Clarion.
Our highway commissioner, Mr..
Lage Tubbs, is looking around for u
new traction engine for the township,
but he won't get one unless it has
electric lights and is a self-starter.
This township does not intend to be
behind any other township in this
state and nothing old-fashioned goes.
Anse Judson's oatmobile is a self
starter. That is-he starts it himself.
One of Lem Higgins sons is mar
ried and the other one doesn't have
much fun either.
When Teller is a crack billiard
player it amt necessary to ask what
he does for a Twin for he don't do
nothing.
Every time our constable buys a tin
cup fer the town pump there is hints
at graft and somebody believes he
should be investigated.
The common council is making some
money fer the town these days by
rentin' out the hook and ladder to fell
lers that are tryin' to reach the high
cost of Twin by painting church
steeples.
Rev. Hugnutt says the young people
Of the Hard Shell church have got to
stop writin' love letters in hymn books
and passin' 'em along to their sweet
hearts. Some of the old folks git a
hold of 'en occasionally and when
they do their singin' sounds foolish.
Miss Pansy Tibbitts, our elecution-
list, is thinkin' some of goin' on the
stage and the folks around here hope
she will, as it will take her away from
home a good deal.
Anne Hilliker's nose is so red that it
singes his mustache. Anne was brought
up in a drug store county.
About the most appetizin' thing
know is to see a soda clerk with an
apron on that looks like a pirate flag.
Luke Higgins has got the best oat-
mobile in the world, but he is willing
to sell it at sacrifice, as he wants
to get better. one.
You can't always judge the neigh
Dor by the clothes that hung out on
the line