Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1913-08-15

tific course, but it accepted the money
and built an elaborate lavatory instead,
which was no diversion of funds SO
far as Jacob ever discovered.
The faculty met and invited Jacob
to come over and take his A B G de-
gree. Before sending the invitation
they smiled, cut out the G, added the
proper punctuation marks. and all was
well.
While walking on the campus before
being capped and gowned Jacob saw
two professors strolling near by. Their
voices, long adapted to indoor acous-
tics, undesignedly reached his ear.
'There goes the latest cheyalier din
dustrie." said one. of them. ''to buy a
sleeping powder from us. He gets his
degree tomorrow"
"In foro conscientious" said the 9th
err. Lets cave 'arf brick at i'm
| Jacob ignored the Latin, but the
| brick pleasantly was not too hard for
| him. There was no mandragOra in the
honorary draft of learning that he
had bought. That was before the pas
sage of the pure food and drugs act.
Jacob wearied of philanthropy on
large scale.
eff I could see folks made happier"
he said to himself, eff / could see 'em
myself and hear 'em express their
gratitude for what | done for 'em, it
would make me feel better This do
natin' funds to institutions and Socie-
ties is about as satisfactory as drop
pin money into a broken slot ma
chine"
SO Jacob followed his nose. which
led him through unswept streets to the
homes of the poorest.
"The very thingr' said Jacob. 81
will charter two river steamboats,, pack
them full of these unfortunate chill
dren and, say, 10000 dolls and drums
and 1000 freeZers Of ice cream and
give them a delightful outing up the
sound The sea breezes on that trip
ought to blow the faint off some of
this money that keeps coming in faster
than ! can work it off my mind
Jacob must have leaked some of his
benevolent intentions, for an immense
person with bald face and mouth
that looked as if it ought to have
Drop Letters Here" sign over it hook
ed finger around him and set him in
a space between q BARRIERS pole and
stack of ash cans. Words came out of
the postoffice slit - smooth husky
words with gloves on 'em. but sound
ing as if they might turn to bare
knuckleS any moment.
Say. sport, do you know where you
are at? Well. dis is Mike O'Grady's
district you're buttin' into-see? Mikes
got de stomach ache privilege for every
kid in dis neighborhOod- And if
dere's any picnics or red balloons to be
dealt out here Mikes money pays for
'em-see? Don't you butt in or some
thing'll be handed to you. YOuse ID
settlers and reformers with your social
| ologies and your millionaire detectives
have got dis district in a = of Il fix
anyhow. With your college students
and professors rough housing de soda
water stands and dem rubber neck
coaches film de streets de folks down
here are 'fraid to go out of de houses.
Now, you leave 'em to Mike. Dey be-
longs to him, and he knows how to
handle 'em. Keep on your own side Of
de town. Are you some wiser now,
uncle. or do you want to scrap wit
Mike OGrady for de Santa Claus belt
in dis district?'
Clearly that spot in the moral vine
yard was pre-empted. SO Caliph Sprag-
gins menaced no more the people in