Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-02-28
At the End Of the Rainbow.
THE GIFTED NEIGHBOR.
BY Walt Mason.

1.-The woman who has rented the house
next door is an author. according to Mrs.
Triangle" said Mrs. Jamesworthy. she
has published several books and is now
at work on a new one and there is quite
a bit of excitement in the neighborhooo
over having a real author among u.s.
Eyes, | suppose there is" remarked
Jamesworthy. '.All the old hens Will De
clucking around comparing notes. and In
few days every one of them Will dis
cover that she always had a passion for
literature and there'n be a procession to
the bookstore, and the hard-earned pias-
tiers of suffering E%oDands will be ploWh
for manuscr,r. paper ana long colo w.
ties of wet ink. / can't imagine any
g>ea,er calamity than to have she au-
thor camp down among us. She il cause
general unrest and discomfort. omen
who have been satisfied to stay at nome
and wash the dishes and cook graz Iof
their families will begin to feel that tney
are hiding their lights under bushels. tnat
it Is their religious duty to write books
and they'll begin talking about local col
or when they ought to be sewing buttons
on their husbands shirts.
II have seen several female authors In
my time. Mrs. Jamesworthy, and they
were the limit AS soon as a woman takes
up literature as a profession and an
nounces that she's welded to her art she
ceases to care whether she looks IKE
Christian or a South Sea Islander. she
wears her topknot over her left ear and
has it stuck full of pencils and fountain
pens, and she usually has ink on her nm
gers and on her nose, and she neglects
to button her shoes, and her dress hangs
like horse blanket on pump.
lone Of the first duties of woman
especially a married woman, is to look
as attractive as possible. toilWorn
husband will forgive a lot If he returns
home from the changing mart and hnds
his wife as neat as an oil painting. This
is especially true il he happens to bring
home a friend or two with him. l nave
always appreciated the fact that you took
a decent pride in your appearance, MIS-.
JameSw orthy l have never seeR~you look
so like a total loss. But, now that lit
erary female has moved into the neigh
borhocd l fear the worst. must ask you
to hand her the ice pitcher IT she comes
over here after local color. Shoe her on
our premises entirely and refuse TO noid
communion with her in any way, shape
or form.
eff you don't take my advice in this
matter there will be trouble. The 1nnu-
ence of one of these literary females is
insidious and far-reaching. The first time
you see her you may feel thankful tnal
you are not afflicted that way but as the
days go by and you hear this old hen Hnd
that old hen speaking In terms OF ANN,
ration of the neighbOrhood author lou II
DeSln 10 Ieel tndl you OuShl W NC "IieiieH
book and harvesting some laurels OF
your own. You'll recall that waen you
were schoolgirl you wrote poem about
a bunch of johnny -jumpups or stuned
tomcat or something, and your teacher
said you outclassed Mrs. Hemans, and
the first thing you know you'll be making
a sneak to the bookstore for writing ma
terials.
eff this ever happens, Mrs. James,
worthy, if l ever come home and find you
with your topknot askew and your face
smeared with green copying ink. it will
be the parting of the ways. I'll pack my
carpet bag and disappear in the gather
ing darkness. and the place that knew
me once shall know me no more. | am
patient and long-suffering, and have en-
dured more than most men, but the line
must be drawn somewhere, and l draw
it at literary effort in this once happy
home You may say that l conjure up
phantoms and chimeras dire. but l know
the effect of having a writing female in
the neighborhood. and l give you timely
warning, in the county and state afore-
said
Il have no ambition to be an author"
said Mrs. Jamesworthy. "One long-dis-
lance lecturer in the family is distinction
enough