The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-18
THE BEAR WHO JOKED.
(Rv M. Ouadl

Il might have hawgS to sell but fur
the bars, and 1 might have bacon in
my smokin' house but fur the darkies.
| Twixt the one and the t'other I'm
driven to eat coon and 'possum meat
most of the time. Dawg- gone bars
and dawg-gone darkest -fr r'e
The Arkansas squatter having de-
livered himself of the above, filled his
corn-cob anew. drew several long
puffS and continued:
Everybody knows what a taste the
darky has for bacon, but you will meet
up with mighty few people who know
that bar will face most any odds to
git hold of fresh. pork. He don't go
WaStin' his strength chaSin' razor
backs through the woods to get a lean
meal, but he comes along bold as brass
and takes the latest in your pen, and
you are powerful lucky if you kin trap
or shoot him.
ASIDE from the pork question, the
bar is also smart in hevin' a sense of
humor. 1 never heard one go haw!
haw! haw! but I've seen 'em wearin
a grin and feelin' tickled. -..
1T was one night above five years
ago that a bar came along at night
and took my pig out of the pen. [
was lynn sick at the time and couldn't
git out to shoot him. but 1 reckoned
he'd hang around till I got a show to
git even. 1t was a month befO' l was
out, and then spring had come, and
fur was no good. All 1 could do was
to play a joke that varmint and
make him feel bad. 1 got some barbed
wire and strung it across the pen, and
when all was ready l killed a wood
chuck and dragged him around the
pen and thrOwed his carcass in. The
old woman seen what was goin' on
and said:
Jim, are yo' gwine to tangle that
bar up in that barbed wire?
That's what it's fur said 1.
n of x-rNf ~ ito h r11o
He carried off our hawg.'
That was bekase yo' was too lazy
to roof the pen in. l wouldn't do any
foolin' with that bar. He cum loafin'
round we're the other day when yo'
was away, and he looked mighty Sc
rious and solemn. He amt no crit
ter to joke with
But he'll hev to stand it jest the
same If he gifts among them wires
he'll feel tickled to death
WAL said she. 'yo' go ahead. but
1 m tellin' yo' that if yo' joke with that
bar he'll cum out ahead. Thars bars
and bars. Some goes in fur fun, and
some don't
THAT night about IL o'clock that
bar cum spookin' round. 1 was awake
and heard him sniffin', but kept quiet
till he climbed up the logs of the pen
and dropped down inside. He knowed
woodchuck from hawg, of co'se, but
WOodchuck was good huff for him jest
Inen- IL ne saw Inefn DdrD6O wires ne
took EN- fur strings. LeaStwiSe, he
leaped right down, and next mint he
was maxim fuss huff fur three dog
fights They heard him howlin way
over to Jim Tanners place. Lawd,
sab, but it made my ha'r stand up to
hear him take on, but l got on my
clothes and went out to rub it into him
little. Lookin' down into the pen.
L called him a hawg thief and lots of
other names, and every time he roared
[ laughed in his face. l just poked
fun at that critter till 1 was tired, but
when L went back into the cabin the
old woman was lookin' powerful SOL
emn.
What's the matter with yo'?'
said L
oh, nuthin'. she said.
But what yo' lookin so solemn
fur?'
cause thars trouble ahead. That
bar is gwine to git even with yo' if it
takes ten years. Don't yo' reckon he's
gofn to take it as a good joke to be
tangled up and pricked in thousand
places.
How the Varmint got free and got
out OF the pen 1 dunno. but he was
gone in the mawnin'. Thar was blood
and fur all over the pen, and thar was