The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1913-07-28
The Elimination Of
Arizona Joe
By EDWARD SWIFT

There is very pretty town in what
was then called the far west--there Is
no far west now-which half a century
ago was 'iow down" settlement For
time there was gun law only; then
Judge Lynch stepped in and improved
| things somewhat. Shooting was re-
duced to a few. These few killed one
another or were killed by some one
else. except Arizona Joe. who came
from the worst territory on the CONT
nent of America. Joe was left like a
noxious weed In garden and had be-
come altogether undesirable.
| Perhaps a deep rooted stump in
clearing would be a better simile, for a
weed is easily dug up. while a stump
clings tightly to the soil. At any rate,
to get rid of Joe. though necessary to
the further development of Arlington.
was hard proposition. Indeed. it was
the consensus OF opinion that he might
be allowed to remain since all of his
kind except himself having been killed
there would be no further food for his
powder. But Joe took II upon himself
to shoot strangers who came to town,
and this was not only immoral. but in
terfered with the mercantile prosperity
of its citizens.
Prominent men of the town held a
meeting and agreed each to pull a num-
Der from hat-one, two three. ETC.
be drawing one to try to kill Joe and.
IL he failed. to be followed by the rest
In, nrda ~ har fflt n had
been killed or Joe got rid of. But
their wives objected and convened for
the purpose OF taking the matter into
their own hands. Mrs. Dowiy arose
and said:
Ladies. you all know that there's
only one way for a woman to get the
bulge on a man-thsts to marry him.
I'll engage TO hire a woman who will
tame Arizona Joe. She came to these
parts ten years ago-from Jail. ! reck-
on--and has had seven husbands in |
the meantime. The first got drowned |
while they was crossin' a bridge to- |
gether disputin' over a counterfeit bill. |
When she got tired of the second she |
set vigilance committee on him. and
he dangled at the limb of tree. The 1
third she shot in the back while he /
was windlu' the clock. The fourth
Never mind any more OF these in
terestlng fac's." interrupted one Of the
ladies. How much money would be
required"
Il reckon $500 would be ample com
pensarion. Mrs. Vendig--that'S her
last name-could be got for that, and
propose to work 1t by maxim match
between her and Joe. IL we can do It
wen have no more trouble with him.
assure you"
What makes You think he'n marry
her"
Because she's good lookin' and has
a winnin' way with her. You know
how IL is yourself. woman can soft
solder a man mighty fine till she's
married TO him and give him the lash
after the ceremony has been per
The money was raised and Mrs. Ven
digs services engaged She came 10
town. met Joe on the street. smiled at
him Delilah-like. and be fell into the
trap. The secret was known to every
body in town except the victim. Three
lays after the meeting Mrs. Vendig
became Mrs. Ioe-no other name was
required by the simple marriage cere-
nony used. which was Scotch mu
ual pledge without witnesses-snd the
wo set up housekeeping In the cabin
Toe had previously occupied alone.
During the evening OF the nuptials
sounds were heard to emanate from
their cabin denoting family jar. The
neighbors came to their doors or put
heir heads out of the windows TO
watch for what might happen. The ,
sounds grew louder and 6ercer and $
ieeper and shriller, and presently the
ioor was opened. body was thrown :
tut and the door slammed to and bolt ,
ID. Mrs. Joe bad been elected.
She had been trife stunned by her {
all, but got up and. going to the door,
,egan to hammer on IL, scoldlng, yell 4
ng. shrieking. Joe was Obliged to lis