The Washington herald., 1913-11-28
BY FRANCES sHAFFER.

| A few weeks ago young husband and
wife in Brooklyn were airing their
grievances in court. hoping for sep
aration decree to free them from
bonds that had grown very weari-
some. But the Judge, listening to the
charges that passed back and forth and
believing that he saw the glimmer of a
chance to straighten things out. urged
I the jarring couple to get together" and
to stop nagging each other"
And. perhaps in evaporation, mingled
with despair and much experience, he
added:
Sometimes I think nagging is a worse
crime than murder. and that II does more
to destroy happiness"
OF course the Judge did not mean quite
that: but he was not far from meaning
1t, nor far from the right in his sweeping
statement.
Because 1t matters very little how
black a cloud may be back OF the nag
ging and perhaps matters less whose the
shortcomings that piled 1t up; nothing
matters so much as the one dreary fact
that when nagging slips in. peace is sure
to pass out
And then
Costly as Well as Human.
When things go exactly counter to the
way we like, when the dispositions of
those We meet in daily travels are quite
at variance with our own. II Is very
human to grow rebeilious. critical. and
irritable. 1t is human, but there is one
important thing to remember:
II is costly. For. after all. the one
thing that counts the most Is to preserve
our own title to love. And that is easily
lost. It way be that conditions loudly
enough cry for correction, may be that
the folk with whom We must walk the
closest are forever doing something to
jar our serenity: but what matters that
IL while We are trying to improve and
remske them we lose our own title to
love?
For. however faulty and wearing and
wearying another may be, II is not in the
way of human nature to stand the little
carping criticisms, the little rebukes and
protests and signs OF dissatisfaction-to
stand them and go on daring. And isn't
that pretty costly?
And. you know. there are folks who
seem not to know just what 'nagging"
means. Something dreadful. they call II,
something they never could and never
would descend to. but they go on doing IL,
just the same. For. you see, they do not
realize where rightful comment leaves on
and nagging begins, do not gues that the
mere fact that they may be right in the
things they despise does not excuse them
for hammerin away at the fault, the
folly. the wrong. or whatever II may be.
II they are satisfied to have one mighty
outburst and then drift apart for new
ties, new lives and new loves, that Is for
them to decide; but IL their scheme OF
life covers the hope OF keeping together.
they had better take counsel with them
selves, marshal all their moral strength,
preserve their mental balance-and keep
more or less silent.
Runs Away with Love.
Because the habit Of nagging, no mat
ter what il Is for or by what other
name it may Co. runs away with judg-
ment discretion, happiness, and at last
with love.
And the very worst of 1t is that. at the
beginning. the trouble may have been all
on the other side. But nagging will
crush the heart and the love out OF any
one, no matter whether II is richly de-
served or not. And one understands why
Judge, brought close as he is to the
habit, counts it fatal indeed to home
happiness. and why he urges the turbu-
lent welded folk who come before him
with their woes and their trials to 60
home and think II all over, then make up
their minds to close their eyes to a few
things and their lips TO few others.
In the end IT all resolves in a ques-
ton OF personal happiness for 1t is not
perfection, not even lovableness that
oftenest makes for happiness in our
closest relationships: but rather the
grace of forbearance And when that is
out of the reckoning, happiness is likely |
tn go by, too.
Folk talk of harmony in the home, Of |
happiness in one place and another, as !
il it was a beautiful something that |
shone like the sun, of Its own sweet |
will, with nothing to urge II along. And |
perhaps that misconception is responsible |
for its speedy flight sometimes. For |
when happiness really comes to last |
through all the years. 1t means that |
there are some earnest individuals who |