The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-01-25
On the Spur Of th,
Moment.
By Roy K. Moulton.


My father says the paper somehow
He hnds Ist OF fault With n,s,t it when
in i worth while 20 read. !,
And that il doesn't print the kind OF
stun the people need,
He losses it aside and says it's strictly
'on the bonn -
But you ought TO hear him holier when
the paper doesn't come.
He reads about the weddin's and he
He reads the social doin's with most
derisive shout.
He says they make the papers LOT the
wimmen folks alone -
He'll read about the parties and he III
fume and fret and groan;
He says of information itsdoes not con-
But YOU ought to hear him hoiier when
the paper doesn't come.
He's always first to grab it, and he reads
it plumb clean through;
He doesn't miss an item or a want ao--
He says: They don't know what we
want, them durn newspaper
I'm going TO take a day some time
and go and put EN- wise
1t sometimes seems as though they
must be deaf and blind and
But you ought to hear him holler when
the paper doesn't come.
According to Uncle Abner.
1t is safer to initiate the birds by
singin' than by flynn.
II all the troubles a feller. expects
should actually happen to him, he
wouldn't last more n day and haif.
There is always one safe bet, the
piustmaster will never be agin' the
ad administration.
The difference between a warm house
and cold house Is gen ally Just the
amount OF coal you are willin to burn
There are lots of people who like
Teller get along II he happens 10 pc go
in in the right direction-down hlli
sters and scandalmongers this earth
would be almost good enough heaven
for anybody.
What has become of the old-fashr
toned barber who used to curl your hai-
Lutte Bibbins made some dunnuts
for the church social and now the boys
are usin' them for quate pitchln out
back OF the post-ohlce instid OF morse
shoes.
The worst thing about being a wooden
inJun is that some foul smeiiin cigar
store always comes up and STANDS De-
Elmer Jones has saved almost enough
coupons TO git married.
Some fellows are so uniucky that you
can't pay them a bill without having
them think you are giving them coun-
terfeit money
When a man writes tombstone poetry
he writes poetry that endures-
Any Teller who doesn't like this job
ought TO quit and give somebody else
a crack at-it instid of moochln around
Many "a gal who kin get along with
a 81 hat before she is married and trim
ii her self. has other ideas after she lands
a permanent meal ticket.
1t takes more moral courage than
most folks hev to admit that they are
passionately fond of corned beef and
cabbage.
The Other Side of the shield.
No | can't afford to run an auto
mobile" said the Talkative Person. as
he laid a 81 bill on the bar to pay for a
''Gasolene is IL cents a gallon, DO you
know that2 And then look at the ex.
pense of tires Give US another round
of drinks. George.
The Talkative Person laid another
So bill on the bar and got 30 cents IN
mobiles represent extravagance- ne
best YOU can do rs d cent mile, anu 1,
for one, can't stand the expense case
Iene is never going to be any cheaper.
Well. let's have one more peiore we go
and some good cigars
The check this time was $40
The man who didnt drink. ana owned
an automobil because he didn Z, went
OFT and climbed into his car and on the
way home did little figuring
AFFORD to run d car had spent 81 20 inside
OF an hour and was still holding MS
place at the end of the bar
For $40 ne could have bought enough
easolene TO run an automobile IOO niIes,
or for two weeks on an average or NIFTY
miles a day. or a month on an average
of twenty-five miles a day.
IL all depends upon the point OF view,
and there are two sides TO every ques-
ton