davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-14
SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR SEPl EMDLN 49, ''''

"Hvpnotizci him. says l. THAT part was a cincb
and until today you didn't know where we We're. Or
anything" says She
IL secuted around bit yesterday afternoon says
"Saw you too.
@Ycstcrday!7 says She "Why, no one came near all
the afternoon; that is, only couple Of lobstermen in
horrid, smelly old boat
"Uh-huh, says |. "Onc was me, in disguise
"Torchy!7 says shc gaspin'. And somehow she
snugglcs up a little closer after that q didn't think
when wrote she goes on, that you would be 50
absurd"
@AIavbc was says I. But took it straight that
mart about it bcin stupid up here. | was igunn on
iiftin' the gloom. | hadn't counted on Payne
well what them says she, tossin' her chin up
@Nothin', says /. "Guess you right too
Gle only came the other day" says Wee; but he's
nice"
~Auntv thinks 50 too don't shc," says /.
"Whv, YES admits Wee.
smother chosen one, is he" says /.
Wee Pushes s." don't care" says she. ale Is rather
nice
~Corrcct" says /. 81 found him that way TOO; but
amt hc-wcll, just little stiff IN the neck
That brings out gigge. Poor Payne. says Wee.
ale is something of a stick, YOU know.
"Wc1 forgive him for that, says l. "Wcll forgive
Mabel. Wen forgive the fog En-" Then my arm
must have slipped
~Why, Torchy" says She
@Ohl" SAYS l. "Thought you were too near the edge
And the side cnch want disturbed
Some chat too. / don't know when we've had
chance for any such good long talk that and we both
seemed to have lot Of conversation stored mp. Then
we chuckcd pebbles into the water, and Wee pulls
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-14

SCIWccI anu IVOITdIo' ny I"||| 0IT.
You know: It's easy KILN time when
you're paired off right. And the first
thing we knows the fog bcgins 10 Tighten
and the sun almost breaks through.
We hurrics back TO where Nabis just
rousin' from q dozc.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
Godmother's Gift.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. \
The fairy godmother had come to tn,
christening.
Understand" she said, ''if give hin
brains 1 can't give him anything else"
She looed at the mother.
Make him handsome" said tn,
mother.
Let him make the eleven" said th'
father.
"If he was handsome he couldn't gel
on the eleven" said the fairy testify
''and he certainly wouldn't be handsome
when he came on"
And she suddenly cackled:
brains are so common" said tht
mother. "Give him wealth."
Make II luck" said the father.
Good gracious" cried the fairy. a
make him fascinating" said the
mother, $50 that he may marry a great
heiress."
Make him a good mixer" said the
father. 80 that he may be a great
politician"
The fairy godmethef frowned.
''Tll give him the one thing that viii
make his foolish parents endurable," she
cried "And that's the sense of humor"
Whereupon she took her cloak and
stick and staked away.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24


not porterhouse: there were mashed pota-
toes, but they were full OF Jumps. Mr..
Bowser chewed at his meat moment.
tasted OF the potatoes. and then leaned
back I'M his, chair. Had Mrs. Bowser
been there she would have felt the earth
trembling and hastened to prevent a
calamity. but the landlady saw no signs
When she saw that Mr.. Bowser did not
eat. she tenderly said,
suppose, poor man, you are thinking
Of the wife who Is far away, and so you
have no appetizer"
Madam, is>this what you were pleased
to term your festive board7" he querled
IN reply as he waved his hand over the
is anything wrong?"
He was about to reply that there was,
and to give particulars, when the fam
lly' froze him into Silence with their
looks. There were eleven OF them. and
they were "ag'in'' him to the last one.
Realizing the situation, he rose up as
calmly as possible. left the room. and
went up to the newly papered room with
southern exposure The landlady fol-
lowed him. 1t was her duty as the head
OF the family and motherly woman
to comfort the disconsolate. -
You and your Wife haven't been part
ed very often, I take it?' she said as
Mr. Bowser opened the door TO her.
Look here. woman, what kind of a
hash-house do you call this?' he de-
n.anded as he turned to her and instinc-
lively looked around for the cat
Sir! Sir. IL IT possible that you are
speaking - me?" she demanded.
"Of course I am. Do you expect that
a man who has ever had a home of his
own can put up with such fodder as
was placed before me? That soup was
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

I slop; that beef came from neckpiece
Your kloveniy cook did not half mash hel
potatoes Why, n my cook had dared
to set such meal before me I'd have
have"
"You are intoxicated. sirr' she inter
rupted.
aBosh.. -
Then, sir. there is no excuse for yous
Ilanguase. and as the head of this Chris
tian family and as the owner Of this fes-
tive board down stairs. I shall have &c
ask you to vacate this ROOM
Il was going or my own aecord" re
piled Bogser, who, wanted to kick over
chairs and jump at the cat 81 have al
ways had a theory that boarding house
which would feed it's patrons ON lamb
chops instead of bull beef, on potatoes
mashed with a club. instead OF a crow
bar. on Jova or Mocha cof-"
Never mind your theories, SIR, inter-
rupted the mother of the family rs
she waved him out Of tbe room and
along the hall and down stairs The
other boarders had gathered to see the
kicker depart. They were tall, thin,
cadaverous boarders and most Of them
two weeks behind with their cash, and
they lined up In the hall and looked cold
~ and cruelty at Bowser as he passed.
When the door had closed behind him
with bang and he had descended the
steps, he looked around at the darkness
and thought of Mrs. Bowser and the cat,
and tear gathered in his eye and ran
down his nose
He must go back to them. He must
crawfish. He must back water. He had
tried boarding house life, and his bluff
had been called. The cat would grin
and Mrs. Bowser would say something
sarcastic. but he must. go-must go!
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

ing before the Court of Impeachment
probably. viii cost the old tiger the
Mayoralty of New York City Ths
campaign is a case of tiger eat tiger,
and the people look on and are
pleased. There is always a selfish sat
isfaction in witnessing ones enemies
destroying each other.
Tammany has performed a public
service in showing New York what
Sulzer is; Sulzer viii in turn perform
public service in showing New York
what Tammany is. New York poll
tics is rid of Sulzer; Tammany is next
What is sauce for the goose is sauce
for the gander.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

may send my trunk over during the day
and be here for dinner. What are youI
figures?
"For an elegant front room, newly
papered and with running water and
plenty OF heat-for this room and my
luxurious table, must ask you s12 per
week. 1 could have got SIS yesterday,
but 1 didn't like the looks of the man.
He looked to me like what they call a
kicker. / have never had one of my
boarders find a word Of fault yet. We
are the same as family. you know. and
many of US cali each other by our given
names. Il will be the same as adopting
you into a tender-hearteG Christian fam
lily. You don't look like a fault-finder. .
Il hope not. ma'am."
"And instead Of great hunks OF corn
beef you prefer dainties at table,"
Exactly. Your terms are all right, aud
] think Ill join the family"
He was just In time for dinner. For
an hour past he had been thinking of
oyster soup, porterhouse steak. French
fried potatoes. and Mocha coffee and
he sat down with an appetite. Soup was
brought him II was thin soup. Il was
watery soup: II was soup that tasted
like nothing in particular He slipped a
spoonful and glared around him at the
family and realized that he was in
for row. There was steak. but it yas
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

isphere, and I think anywhere In the
world. II was a novel undertaking. We
were told by Mr.. Aspipwall. that he want
ed US 70 make the shortest survey pos
sible
well, we went to the Panama isthmus.
II was a perilous under taking. There
were malarial fever, poisonous insects,
and serpents, ugly Indians, and a fright
full climate. When we had got about half
through our survey / sad one day to my
companions that the time would come
when this railroad would be a thing Of
OF the past, for as certain as the sun
rose, a ship canal would be cut across
the Panama isthmus. and that / was
certain that l knew exactly where the
suryeySfor this canal would be- 1 added
that hoped ! would live long enough to
fake part in the survey, SO tnat 1 could
say that l helped run the railroad line
across the isthmus, and 1 helped survey
the route for the canal
WELL" continued Gen Serreil, Il have
not had a share in the survey which the
French engineers made for the Panama
Canal But did later participate in the
survey for a canal south OF the Panama
Canal, or rather east, for the isthmus
turns east and west; so that I have a
part of my wish gratIfed. / presume h
had not taken part In the survey for
the Panama railroad sixty years ago. /
should have given very little thoupLt 20
the construction Of the ship canal across
thS isthmus.''
Copyright. isl21
Tomorrow The Herald will tell OF ..Tbe
Engineer Who Put the Famous
Swamp Angel Into Position..)
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
cabins Member Not Supreme.

Unfortunately for the public, the op-
portunity is too frequently offered the
orator, under the applause of an audi
ence to make statements he may not
mean.
, Apropos of the statement by Sec
retary Redheld regarding Investigations
of any one who may reduce wages, be-
cause of conditions created by the new
tariff operations, and of the further
statement that he would investigate
public utilities. in a friendly spirit, and
for the purpose would ask 100000
from Congress"
We have heard threats before,
threats of a gallows higher than Ha-
mans, but no business man, no manu-
facturer, no employer of labor would
seriously consider them as obstacles
in his way, should. business conditions
in his especial line, from any cause,
warrant either a shut down entirely
or the much more preferable reduction
in wages.
And should such conditions arise
Mr.. Redfeld might investigate until
his term of Office shall expire and
that's all the good it would do, him.
1t is to be hoped that he shall never
find himself called on the bluff he
made at Flint, Mich, on Wednesday,
in the interest of good business for
all interests, but if he is called, it
will but demonstrate his power as nil
On the proposition for an investiga-
ton of the public utilities of the eoun-
try, the Secretary of Commerce seems
to be undertaking something in which
he has not the license of law or right
to carry out .....-
What right has the Secretary of
Commerce to investigate the public
utilities of any State? There are
usually State or municipal utility COM
missions whose place it is to supervise,
regulate, and advise with the utilities
of the State, and to govern as well.
Paternalism by the government has
gone far. Railroads are regulated in
their charges by the Interstate Com
merce Commission; much of the ex-
press business has been taken over by
the Postofice Department, the talk to-
day is to acquire the telegraph and
telephone lines, projects which the
people favor.
But when a Cabinet member pro
poses to ask for an appropriation to
investigate the gas, waterworks, cleo
trio lighting, and traction systems of
the several States with money from
Congress to pay expenses it is tread
ing entirely too strongly on the
heels of States rights, and States and
municipalities still have some rights.
Talk is cheap and does not hurt
much, but Congress. will be more than
likely TO rebuff any attempt to carry on
an inspection of utilities in their
States. ..
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

In an afternoon spent with Gen. serrell
he took pains to explain to me the scien-
tific and the economic reasons why the
canal which he advocated. would be bet
ter than the one which the United States
was at that time building across the 18TH
mus of Panama
asked Gen. Serreil how hesbecaIne in
terested in the Panama Canal proposition
Il suppose you think" ne replied, that
it is somewhat strange that n man Of my
time of life should give any thought to a
proposition of such magnitude as the
construction Of the e'canal across the 18TH
mus But will explain 1t to you on two
grounds-first. 1t is my belief that man
should keep at work as long as his facul-
ties are unimpared. provided he can find
mental work. which is healthfully stimu-
lating. 1 have never been In better
health physically or mentally than have
sincs took up this canal proposition.
but there Is another reason why I
have been especially interested in any
plan which had for its puropose the open
ing Of navigable waterways for ships OF
any draft from the Atlantic to the Paci-
fic, across the isthmus. l know that
country weIl and knew II nearly sixty
years ago. At the time Mr. Aspinwall and
other men of capital. In 1S4S decided to
build railroad across the Panama 18th
mus so that there could be quick commu-
nication with California. where gold had
just been discovered was asked II
would join the engineering corps which
was 10 make a survey. 1 had at that time
been only two or three years qualified
as an engineer -
"The proposition appealed to me- It was
to be the first railroad construction in
the tropics. at least In the American hem
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
DAILY SHORT STORY.

for the knowledge. and the goodnight
smile she dashed Mr. FinIeIgh was coldly
brighter. a ~
II was John FinieIgh's fault that she
had been too blind to recognize love at
first sight. He had vooed her a long
time and he had given her chance at
happiness.
The first sight that met her eyes the
next morning as she glanced from her
window was Mrs. Darrah standing in the
rose garden plnning a yellow rose in
John Ffnleigh's buttonhoie. Then Mrs.
Darrah chose deep red one for her
jetty hair. and the two walked away,
out of sight between the tall hedges.
Molly was so late at breakfast that
she ate all alone in the empty dining
room. and after the meal was over the
girl escaped to the garden. where she
made straight for the one spot that she
knew would be unoccupied. for there were
very few people who had ever penetrated
the eleverIy designed maze at Fairmead,
but Molly had done so on q previous
visit
Now she hurried through the narrow
aisles between hedges of pungently sweet
lockwood, every moment drawing nearer
TO that goal. the heart OF the maze where
there was rustic summer house, q sure
retreat where one might face an unhappy
situation and have IL out all alone.
The tears were very near to Molly's
eyes as she hurried through the paths
and they quite blinded ner as she made
the final turn and arrived al the heart
shaped center CT the maze. She groped
-ler way to the door OF the summer house
and stumbled inside-to find that she was
not alone. John Finleigh was sitting
there. his bowed head on his arms.
He lifted his head and looked at her
with sorrowful dark eyes that instantly
lighted up as be saw the tears on her
face.
''Molly-MolIy-what Is it? What Is
troubling you?" he demanded. jumping
up and coming around the rustic table.
'It-is-nothingy Quavered Molly. sud
denly realizing how dear was his voice
and how sweet his interest in Aer.
you are in trouble or some sort" in
sisted John; "you are not the girl TO
cry at nothingl Molly, can't you trust
me? You know / love you-you know /
would marry You il you would have me-
but I'm not going to ask you now-Im
just going to help you out OF your trou-
Bile, whatever it is. Can't you trust a
staid old fellow like me?'
Molly drew out a handkerchief and
wiped away the tears smile came out
Of her eyes and dimples played about her
adorable mouth. She hung her head
shyly.
I'm tell you, JOHN" she whispered at
last, II was afraid thar you were not
going to ask me again.
The next morning Mrs Manson re-
ceived a telegram from her daughter. Il
remembered mother. So happy. Molly"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
Sauce for the Gander.

Tammany, the tiger of New York
politics, does not hold strictly or
:hodox view of the millennium. 1t be-
ieves in the tiger and its opponents
iying down together, but always in
iists upon the opponents lying down
inside the tiger. Ex-Gov. Sulzer had
been little tiger for many years and
lad followed all the devious ways of
he jungle. When he became Cover
nor, however, he bad change of
heart, and refused to perform at the
crack of the Murphy whip. His
preach of discipline was to TammAny
ihe greatest sin, and he was impeached
for high crimes and misdemeanor1
that would have been forgotten if he
had been good
Sulzer is an opponent of Tammany
that refuses to be eaten. His spank
. o 49, - = - 80 : 4 q
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

not believe that legislation can do much
toward decreasing the cost of living. He
is Representative Lewis Of Maryland
In the last campaign some of Mr..
Lewis constituents wanted him TO
promise cheaper living IL the Democrats
got into power. The astute Congress
man would not do anything of the kind.
These things" he said. ARE regulated
by causes which are beyond our control
II this is not the case. why were not
hogs made with thousand legs, like CEN
tipedes. so We could have plenty of ham,
and why don't the bees have q lantern
like lightning bugs, so they could work
at night?''
And as nobody in the audience could
answer, Mr.. Lewis let II go at that.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
UNDER THE DOME.

Representative Jacoway of Arkansas
would sooner fish than eat. He has hunt
ed the tarpon in the Gulf OF Mexico. and
would like nothing better than to play
a shark at the end OF ten-ounce rod
THAT would be battle royal" he says.
Mr.. Jacoway had not been long in
Washington before he began to make in
quiries about fishing. He wanted 10 know
about the bass at Great Falls and the
rockfish down the river. He welcomed
every Saturday half holiday as a chance
to try his skill
One day Mr.. -Jacoway had on inspira-
tion- He had been out in Rock Greek
Park and the little stream that ripples
merrily through that reservation pleased
his soul. i'There is the place." he said to
himself. where l can drop a fly and get
a fine mess of trout"
So he spent an entire morning trying to
find some one in authority who would
give him permit to fish in Rock Creek.
Finally he found an official who said the
park was under his care.
GO fishing?" he said to the Represent
ative. Certainly. But I'll give you a
dollar for every fish you get There
hasn't been a trout in that stream since
the memory Of man."
All sorts of men drift into Congress,
even college presidents. Representative
Fess of Ohio is in this class.
Mr.. Fess' speciality is American poll
teal history. He has written a book
upon our system of government which
is a text book in the schools. and when
he injects himself into debate his words
bear the stamp of wisdom. He could
deliver a lecture in the House which
would make the Congressional Record a
joy forever.
But he don't. The Chautauqua plat
form pays him better.
There is one man In Congress who does
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
An Old Surveyors Panama Canal Prediction.

EDWARD wELIsAN sERRELI. when
which he had formulated for the
Colombia HIS engineer his
United ung the first bridge the Niagara rapids
respectable
the of this thmus canal which
within tlnnks
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

The hobos' convention the other day
indorsed woman suffrage. II is UNDER
stood that the hobos are dissatisfied with
the vagrancy laws that the men have
made.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

The reports Of forest fires out West
ought to convince everybody that the
anti-conservationists have not DESTROYED
all the forests.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Press dispatch says an indianapolis girl
captured a thief after chasing him seven
blocks. Evidently the hobble skirt has
not reached Indianapolis.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
BOWSER TRIES IT.
But One Dinner at a Boarding House
Sends Him Back Home.
BY NJ. QUAD.

On tniS pdrucu-
lar evening Mr.,
Bowser's dinner
was not a. ban
quet.
There were va
rious good rea-
sons for II. Mrs.
Bowser had spent
the afternoon at
the stores; the
cook had burned
her hand; the
butcher had sent
a tough steak.
and the grocer
had entirely for
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Somebody ought to tell the grocery
dealers that the new tariff bill has been
passed and that the cost of living is to be
lower.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Mrs. Pankhurst announces that she will
speak in Washington. Mr.. Caminetti, the
Commissioner of Immigration, should by
all means hear her.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

You are going to wake up some morn
ing and find that the Thaw-Jerome war
has broken out again.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Alabama is probably congratulating
herself that she won't be contined to
HobsoA's choice when it comes to choos-
ing a Senator.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Crown Prince William has apologized
to his father, from which we infer that
the old man still controls the purse
strings.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Col. Roosevelt has been in south Amer-
lea for a week. and there has been no
earthquake down there yet.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

You can separate some fools from their
money and they will turn right around
and make twice as much more
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Now let Charley Murphy run for the
New York Assembly, and We will see
who's who.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

The advantage about taking advice is
that you have somebody to blame it on if
things don't turn out right.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Col. Roosevelt has arrived at Rio, bu
coffee is not any cheaper.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

He, is a little older. and somewhat dis
figured, but he is -'the same old Billy
Sulzer"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
A LITTLE NONSENSE
LIGHT EMPLOYMENT.

Our maid is willing. as il werei
She doesn't wish to shirk-
But I'll confess she does prefer
The lightest kind OF work.
She, will not sweep, or wash one sock:
She lodges such commands
She likes to take the parlor clock
And manicure its hands.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Cold storage is what enables rich people
to have spring lamb at this time of year.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

Suit efect-OTanse Pnstpe Black You'll have the
its loud just the contrayits smart but very OQ0
refined Single Double breasted with patch pockets Vo
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
gl
Mark res
glove the
real thing
Sl.5O

IF you want to get away from the monotonous same
ness,n Overcoats you'll be Interested In our new
= models Single or Double Breasted; with shawl
regular collar; body-htting or belted in. Tailoring
touches that give them character and fabric qualities
that give them value an extraordinary degree We
are making feature of three gades-at-7
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
$2O---$25---$3O

Then again here is an exclusive showing OF imported
Overcoats, that no one else is showing made for US
by Skpwith of London and his neghbor Aquascutum.
Markedly different garments-at $35 and $40.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
4 Question.

The pumpkin isn't dying out;
1t tiourishes like weeds
Then why must every pumpkin have
Eleven thousand seeds?
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24

During two Years 1900 miles of inn
proved roads were constructed in this
country, which is more than all the roads
OF France.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
Sure Thing.

When a girl decides that she has dra-
matte talent her usefulness as dish
washer becomes greatly impaired.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
An Ancient Authority.

who was Homer?''
THE great sporting writer who wrote
UP the Greek-Trojan series"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
A Notable A6air.

wife. how would you like to oficiate
at a great event."
What do you mean?"
81 have arranged 10 let you touch
button tomorrow morning at IO:5O. where
upon ton of coal viii slide into our cell
lar
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
Higher Praise.

Mabel you are simply perfect"
That isn't much of a compliment
Henry. George tells me I'm pluperfsct"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-24
A Poor Guesser.

stranger. who do you think will be
elected Sheriff."
MY good sir. my opinion would be
worth nothing"
why not?"
I'm the weather man"