The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1913-10-11


eensed to say "we"-kings. editors and
men with tapeworms. | add 10 IL a
man with great wealth. Which one OF
the four are you? DO you mean 10 say
you've got money In your disreppitable
person and stood by while me and
BALKAN worked our passager
For repartee / showed a roll the
size OF a clothes bag and told my
story. We counted the money, and 1t
totaled $500 TO a cent, my original
stake and the gamblers 500 which /
would have won from him IL | hadn't
been cheated.
This here is our opportunity TO
forsake the old life and acquire hon
estes. Wen 20 into business says
Mojaye. declaring himself IN on the
deal immediate. Il was cut out for
them pursuits natural. / got the abil-
ity.'
docs II take that much OF a stack
10 set In on this commercial venturer
! inquiries. 4 ben aiming TO assuage
this famine fer fun that I'm bloated
with
at amt no ways essential Mike
admits. and I'm considerable leery Of
oyercapitalization myself. S'pose we
lay by $500 fer business and spend the
rest In wassail. thus avoiding watered
stock and sech perils. I've got a
scheme where that's all we need
LAS long as it's honest IL gets my
play says /; but. understand, l amt
going TO corner none OF the great ne
cessities OF life with this money nor
squeeze the widders and orphans
mo; It's simply the introduction OF
western modes and civilization into the
jungles OF the decaying east. Wen
open up in Kansas
Thereupon he gave me the blue print
OF a plan that assayed SIS to the
ounce. being a total rest from cow
punching. Well, It's some three weeks
later that the Buffers Martin Masto-
don MINISTRIES bursts into Kansas and
lays waste with delight every hamlet
IL plays. Ii costs nary a cent to see
IL. which same appeals TO farmers OF
all ranks. Mike is lit up like a Dewey
arch. a thousand candles strong, with
a long fur trimmed overcoat, pointed
yaller shoes, tan CATERS and "A pearl
gray felt hat. For a theatrical make
up he has John Drew run under the
bed.
Il am Papriky Carramba. the ART
IONA bandit. You see, | am some
black. anyhow. so l incase myself In a
greaser habit Of speech, a bewhiskered
buckskin suit and am a dangerous
desperate.
Here's the program. We open with
a quartet by the nIggers. oh, yes; /
near forgot the niggers! We have four
Senegambians from Topeka that sing
from all points OF the compass 10 a
common center. One OF 'em plays
Turkey In the Straw on the banjo,
while the others dance. They cost us
fourteen a week.
well after the music the Mexikin
desperate gives exhibitions Of throw
ing the bowie and pistol practice, aft
er which we have more music, and
Mikes does marvellous. mystifying
feats OF sleight OF hand too battling
for the mind and too rapid for the
eye Then we have some buck and
winging by the African team. after
which Mike addresses the pacihed and
radiant hay diggers as follows:
mo doubt, ladies and gents. you
have been delighted by our educa-
tional entertainment. but TO give fleet
ing pleasure amt only mission.
We have a higher motive. Ii is a
blessed privilege 10 make the arduous
path more pleasant, and we are here
to conduce &c them scenic effects by
abaung the nuisances OF life. One
man may like music and his neigh
Dor prefer the screech OF a sled run
ner on bare ground. This one may
have a sweet tooth. while his friends
is holler and the nerve exposed; but,
dear friends. all the world loves a
sweet smell.
I'VE admire the jassamine and
would fain preserve the fragrance OF
the rose. Let us have done with the
sordld scents OF the stables and i'm
Ubl Ath NHttNt anu liNhit Oui Apnoilo
with the breath OF forest lowers.
That. ladies and gents, Is our sacred
Grant amongst you. We are the dis
tributing agents of the Kansas Co
logne company, unlimited. Remember,
we have nothing 10 sell; we only adj
%vertise the perfumery so that you can
buy direct from your local druggists.
We simply charge a nominal price to
cover the cost Of the bottles and the
hand painted labels. giving you the
contents as free as this program,
which amt yet over.
"'To conclude this evenings enter
tainment | propose TO spar three
rounds with Senior Carramba, demon
strating in a refined and gentlemanly
manner the blows with which ] won
the title OF middleweight champeen OF
the world. This Is not a brutal exhibit
ton, but n clean and scientific lesson
IN that greatest domestic accomplish