davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Rolls Of the immortal Orators Are Still Unc|ouded

no the boys still speak pieces"
u Friday afternoons in school? Do
they still shatter the atmosphere with
such diabolical oratorical dynamics as
are created when the schoolboy mind
grasps the full power of Somebody
to the Gladiators?" Do they still re-
cite "Abou Ben Adhem?" Is 'The
Helmet of Navarro" still held up as
the orifamme of a host of mailed bat
tle-axe artists upon the pleasant lands
of France? Is Webster's reply dead?
Are the rolls of the immortal orators
OF silk-hat generation clouded over
with the dust of an unappreciative
schoolboy generation? Or do they
declaim-as we used to-while that
grandest Of teachers, Charles Bedford
Young, looked on?
Because If they do-here's a piece
from real orator. 1t fell from the
lips of one of the most interesting
men in congress, Judge Adamson of
Georgia. He Is the man who is said
to have dressed in a whirlwind and
never to have rearranged his toilet,
but the typhoon interfered not a whit
with his wit or speech. Just imagine
you are schoolboy, the prize speaker
of that Friday afternoon class In ora.
tory, the punch and ginger, couldn't
you tear the air If you had this? Try
It,
IF maledictions mean hatred the
fierce denunciations Of the dual and
clamorous minority in this house
would destroy every patriot here and
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Bought Brooklyn Bridge;

Ar EW YORK.-On the Holland-Amer-
~ lean liner Rotterdam, which sailed
the other day, there left Karl Hoops, a
pleasant little fat Dutchman, who is
going back to Amsterdam. For half
an hour before, the vessel sailed he
murmured, then shouted:
Rotterdam, Rotterdam, Amsterdam.
New York, dam. dam, DAM"
About a month before Hoops left
Amsterdam for New York with $4,000
tucked in his pockets. He had heard
that New York was the land of oppor-
tunity. Opportunities were thrust
upon him. He was here just q week
when the Brooklyn bridge was sold
to him for the measly sum of $500.
Il was out walking one night" said
Hoops, when I meets a gentleman.
He was glad to- see me, and invited
me to take ink. Then he took me
over the Brooklyn bridge and showed
me all the peoble coming and going.
Il ought to b taking in $4,000 a
day and I'm not getting more than
$3.O00." the gentlemAp told him. m
disguised with New York" continued
the new friend. 'I'm Agoing away.
I'd sell out the bridge tomorrow for
$780," .....e. 3 i..l .s. 49,. -.
In few hours Hoops waS the own
er Of the Brooklyn bridge. Apd It had
only cost him $500. Hoops went mp
to thu bridge. and. III swdlled N.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Spanking Ends Romance; Girl, Is, Doesn't EIope

THICAGO.-Susie didn't elope after
~ ALL Instead she is now at home, a
well-spanked girl, who has no such
illusions regarding Joe, the handsome
merry-go-round ticket taker, as she
formerly had.
Susie, who is only fifteen years old,
would have had q perfectly success
full elopement, and Joe would not have
been arrested If Susie hadn't failed
to let one of her little chums in on
the secret.
Her whole name is Susie Doven-
muehm and she lives-more content
eddy now-with her parents at 1881
West Chicago avenue.
1t was just after the first merry
go-round of the spring had been set
up at West Huron and North Hoyne
streets. Susie went. So did Irene
Miller, twelve years old, and Marie Co.
misky, of equal age. It was Marie
who threw the monkey wrench in the
machinery of the merry-go-round
elopement, figuratively speaking.
Joe-he said his name was Baer-
thought Susie was pretty and said
so. He let her ride free. That very
night Joe took Susie home. Irene
walked with them, but Marie was left
out.
Leaving Marie out was fatal blum
der
Marie learned that Susie had ar
ranged to elope to Milwaukee with Joe
the very next night. Indeed, Marie
came to Susie's house as Susie was
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

MILWAUKEE. WIS.-That her hus'
AV4 band was SO stingy that he saved
the tips of his shoestrings and sold
them for old iron, was the accusation
Mrs. Walter Kaysing, 427 Eighth ave.
nue., made in the district court
you don't tell mel" exclaimed
Judge Neelen. -
Eyes, sir, your honor" the woman
replied. "Once he saved up some
scrap iron and sold it to a dealer for
eight cents. And would you believe
it, your honor, he even had little bits
Of pieces of IRON"
Kaysing was arraigned for aban-
donment. Mrs. Kaysing had been
compelled to appeal to the county
poor department for aid. Her hus-
band, she said. worked in a tannery
and earned $11 q week. He seldom
gave her any of this money, she told
the Judge, and when he did it was
only dollar or two q week.
He put the rest of it in the bank, %
she testified. Il had to go out wash
ing to support the family. He
wouldn't even buy clothes for the
children, and every time the rent was
due, thought the man would have a
nervous collapse"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

though not competing, wares. This
work Is going on today, but in much
smaller way. In the far backwoods
districts these old-fashioned sign stick.
ers may be still busy, but they are be
coming rare In the environs Of Wash.
ington.
It is the practice still of certain ad.
verttsers to stick up signs at country
stores and on the sides of blacksmith
shops. but this work Is not done 20
much by the ld-fashione1 professional
sign stickers as by the 'drummers"
who drive through the country, and In
most cases the drummers simply hand
the signs over to the country store.
keepers. and those public functionaries
put them IN place. OF course. these
signs advertise only what the store
keeper has for sale on his own shelves.
But tho tree signs nearly I'll have.
paaesd sway
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Capital Wayside Signs Are Fast Disappearing

n NE of the changes that has come
~ over the roads around Washing
ton is the decline in the number of
vayside signs-the advertisements of
tobacco. clothing, lumber, etc.. which
it was once the custom to tack on
fences and trees. Once upon time
roadside trees were tagged with tin
signs announcing that it was ten
miles to John Does store, the best
place to buy hats, caps, shoes, shawls,
Qveralls, lumber, lime and hardware.
Coming into the city mile farther on
you would see the same character Of
slgn announcing that 1t was now nine
miles to John Does store. OF course
John Does store was not the only
store advertised by these mile signs on
the trees and fences. Many other
stores were thus advertised. and then
q great deal of general advertising
that ss, Of non-local establishments
occupied the trees and fences, and
urged investment In many kinds of pa
tent medicines, chewing and smoking
tobacco and red liquors. .s
It used to be quite business, the
lacking up Of these signs. Men and
wagons travelled up and down the
country roads carrying on this work
They not only tackled DIP signs for one
business concern, but would carry
side lines, Z % II were. or wagon.
load oe tin signs advertising othsG.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

w ASH1NGTON.-Senator Luke Lea
W of Tennessee is congratulating
himself upon having turned the ia
oles on his colleague, Senator William
Z. Webb. When Mr.. Webb found
himself suddenly lifted from the presi-
1ency Of disciplining school for boys
TO a seat in the greatest legislative
body In the world he sent for Mr..
Lea, who. while still young man, al
ready Is a veteran in legislation. He
wanted advice as to how he should
conduct himself upon his first appear
ance in the senate.
Mr.. Lea complied most willingly,
telling the sprofessor-senator that he
should wear Prince Albert coat,
fasten his necktie down in the back,
allow himself to be escorted to the pre-
siding officers desk by his colleague,
and how, then, he must shake hands
with the president pro tempore.
THAT" said Mr.. Lea by way of final
remark. lis the formula for becoming
senator-after you get to Washing
ton"
Mr.. Webb was profuse in his
thanks Indeed his thanks partook of
the nature of an apology.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

n NE Of the big hotels was crowded
~ with women and girls. It was one
of the numerous excursions which
sweep down on Washington In the
spring, in the summer, in the autumn
and in the winter. These excursions
are great educational aid to the ex-
cursionist. They see the wheels of
government go round, they exercise
their proprietary rights in the ma
tional city, they get better balanced
idea of the magnitude of the American
government and of the machinery Of
government, and they strengthen their
pride in Washington.
But, while one, and also many, of
the hotels we're packed tight with
these woman excursionists, and while
the clerks behind the Office counter
wore boutonniers and happy smiles,
talked their sweetest and showed
their best manners and their best
clothes. the young man at the cigar
and newsstand looked pensive and un-
occupied.
"'You don't seem to be selling many
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

d 1TTSBURGH, PA.-Foo 500, known
1 in Chinatown circles as Frank H.
500, Esq, of 522 Third avenue, and a
prominent figure there, became high
ly incensed the other night when he
returned home after visit to the joss
house to discover that his wife Lena,
whom he married In Howard, Pa, less
than a year ago, had eloped with a
former sweetheart. Foo 500 did not
wait to report the elopement to the
police, but secured weapon and
started out to recover his wife and
an eigth-months-old msnnikin, both of
which he says he is devoted to-.
Watch the developments!
The chase was successful. Foo 500
found his wife and baby at Fourth ave-
nue. and Smithfeld street. They were
accompanied by young man whom
Foo 500 recognized as his wife's sweet
heart when she was a coy country
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
MRS. AVA WILLING ASToR IN LONDON

Mrs. Ava Willing Astor is in Lon
don again looking younger and more
festive than ever. She is wearing
charming neutral tints, presumably
for the late millionaire, her divorced
husband, who went down in the IT,
tanie. 1t is considered very good
taste on the part of Mrs. Astor to do
this, for there were very few women
who would have marked that sad
event in the circumstances. Those
who know her best, however, say that
In her heart of hearts she was very
fond Of the dead man, though after
the divorce she tried to hide the fact
that her pride was so wounded.
Like few other smart Ameri-
cans in town she went promptly to
see the Connaughts, but it appears
she got further than the rest, as she
was admitted to the bedroom of the
duchess. There IS the greatest ex.
element as to whether her son. Vim
cent, will put in appearance here this
summer. 1t is said his mother has q
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
SENATOR TH0MPS0N'S LUCKY STAR

The new senator from Kansas,
William H. Thompson, is one of the
youngest-looking men in congress,
and any one not familiar with his
face might think him his own secre-
tary. With an almost boyish face the
senator combines happy disposition
and that rare quality which is sup
posed to belong exclusively to the
feminine sex-intuition.
He tells himself Of many remark
able events in which he has on sew
eral occasions had narrow escapes
from fatal accidents. Once, when
travelling with his family, he was de-
tanned in a small town which boasted
of a frame hotel. Mr.. Thompson felt
that such building was unsafe, hired
an auto, drove his family forty miles
homeland that very night the hotel
was burned to the ground.
Another time he was boating with
his wife on Yellowstone lake, when
the boat caught in the strong current
and was rapidIv floating toward the
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Saves Shoestrinq Tips to Sell Them for Junk

Paying out money for the bare ne
cessities of life, the wife said, was
like torture to her husband. His one
joy in living was to watch the bank
account grow bigger. He had been
saving, she said, from the day they
were married. ".'# +
!. Il guess he must have almost q
thousand dollars saved by this time"
she told the Judge. -.
In reciting some Of the incidents Of
her unhappy married life, the wife
said that one day letter came from
the bank informing her husband that
interest had been added to his deposit.
And do you know" she said. The
went right down to that bank and
scolded the cashier for squandering
money on postage stamp. Then he
made them give him the two cents
they had spent for the stamp, and he
got it, too"
Under this severe arraignment, Kay
sing sat in the prisoners dock. His
lips were set firmly and his eyes
glared defiance.
You'll have to turn over half your
weekly wages to your wife, or go to.
JAIL" the Judge said.
The mans face turned pale and he
trembled. Then he nodded his head
to signify that he would abide by the
order issued by the court.
your case will be continued indef1-
nitely," the Judge said. Consider
yourself on probation. The probation
department will collect your wages
each week. Half will go to your fam
lily and you shall retain the other
half
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Couldn't Take 1t Home

told a policeman about his purchase.
The cop was going to pinch him.
Then he took compassion on him and
said, terlsey: you've been trimmed"
Mr.. Hoops said: Gee, was mad"
Then he got an option on a contract
to shave 10000 policemen. He paid
an alleged politician 500 for the op-
ton. Hoops told some one about the
option and he was told: You've been
skinned"
Trimmed, skinned and limmed. I
was,' said Hoops as he sailed away.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

around, because
Taking
10000
rtory
Washington
one third is the lands held
aebe
the ssionald country over
Likewise
make his by nearly
the
assumed
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
Tables Were Turned for U. S. Senator Luke Lea

You would not apologize to me IL
you only knew waht delight you have
given me-" responded the younger
man. Then he told his new colleague
how during all the years of his school
life he had lived In dread Of being
sent to the Webb school. Z
1T is one of the best schools In
the SOUTH" he said In explanation,
and the professor has the reputation
of being the finest disciplinarian in
the country for boys. When was q
youngster was not looking especially
for discipline, but my father had Diff
ferent views, and many times was on
the verge of sending me to Professor
Webb to be Strengthened out. This
fate was the dread of my life.
And that" he added, "is the rea-
son why felt SO delighted to aid him
with a bit of advice about his initia-
ton into the senate. When it really
came to the point of his sending for
me and asking me to instruct him I
knew that at last had reached the
period of life where l need not longer
stand in fear of being sent to Profess
sor Webb for discipline. l had the
best of him. and felt really meanly
triumphant.
Il went even to the extent of ad-
justing the professors tie beofre e.
corting him into the senate chamber
for the ordeal he was about to under
60. l think ought to add" concluded
Senator Lea, that l have not found
the professor so bad after all. l think
now that l possibly might even have
survived few months at his SCHOOL,"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
No "FIoaters" in 100.

In parts Of New England during the
seventeenth century voters had to re-
side in stone house Of the dimen.
sions Of 20 by is feet, with one or
more brick chimney or chimneys.' .
Each voter had also to be certified by
his neighbors "of sober and peaceful
conversation. :. $50 ..as .<. .'.se5l rs
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

#*@S< The police Of New Jersey town
have been ordered to arrest all who
fail to. return books borrowed from
the public library. But why restrict
them 70 the public library borrowers,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04


spelling the
authority
The tale went that most brilliant student she
university
and that the being
well little blind
She
philosophy
literature attraction
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Acting in an cratic manner is not
necessarily an indication that a man
is in love. He may merely have been
prevented from going to the ball
game.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Another of those useless noises is
the language INDUCED in by the av-
erage baseball fan when the umpire
makes a decision that doesn't please
him.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A Greek island, submerged before
the Christian era, has recently come
to the surface. Perhaps this will
suggest diving red estate operations.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

AS to those counterfeit $40 bills in
circulation, you never have the slight
est trouble In remembering where you
got your Eos, do you?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A Maryland farmer caught a black
snake in the act of swallowing a cast
iron rabbit. That explains the disap-
pearance Of the cast iron dogs and
deer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

maiden
pnlns Tor him British girl Of title
manage
ana1rsat least
regard future happiness
Mrs. Aston has
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

The alarm clock trade ought to
prosper If the police succeed in put,
ting silencer on the early morning
iceman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04
MRS. HOUSTON, WOMAN OF DISTINCTION

Mrs. David Franklin Houston. tall
and splendidly proportioned, the wife
Of the secretary of agriculture. is one
OF the most impressive-looking women
in the new circle OF executive
hostesses in Washington. A native of
Texas, she seems to breathe the spirit
Of the great land Of the Rio Grande,
and she has many claims to distinc-
ton.
although my husband has lived
in many states" said Mrs. Houston
the other day, my life has not been
SO varied Austin. the capital OF
Texas, is my birthplace. was mar
ried there and remained until five
years ago. when we went to st. Louis.
University life is an excellent train
ing for social duties, no matter how
wide the scope, and feel familiar in
my present environment. though this
is ray first residence in Washington.
In Austin and in st. Louis our faculty
life was filed with pleasant events
and We had to plan our days carefully
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A plain American has married Bel
gian baroness. This may be an in
provement upon an American heiress
marrying a plain wearer of a title.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A Russian scientist says that ex-
cessive talking is dangerous dis
ease. American politicians beat him
to that discovery a long time ago.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

1t is to be hoped that, the swatting
of the fly having been raised to the
dignity OF campaign. the usual Ian
guage will not be used.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

which several hundred en fact higher
log
against holding them till
in of a
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

No doubt the generous baseball fans
are willing to give their share Of the
rains to the farmers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

In defending a suit for separate
maintenance a man testified that his
wife always won at poker. The dou
bic significance of this is striking.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A Denver man with broken neck
is attending to his business-which is
not the watching of balloon ascen-
sions.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Now is the opportunity for the SCI
enlist who can develop a mosquito
that is as fastidious about biting as q
brook trout
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Save your old umbrellas. Some &C.
MUS has discovered that it is posi-
bic to rob a bank with a fracturea
umbrella rib.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

New York church has hired a doctor
and dentist to look after the health
and teeth of worshipers. How about
tailor for the backsliders?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Knickerbockers, such as the Yale
boys have adopted, will be a great re-
lief If they provide escape from the
thralldom Of keeping them pressed.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

A fortune of q million or so awaits
man named Brown. He ought to
be easy to find.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Baseball is a popular sport in the
canal zone, but Culebra cut continues
to do most of the sliding.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Women are said to be wearing
socks, but doubtless what they blush
ingly ask ask for is half hose.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Philadelphia has school for milk
men, but has to send it's mayor else
where for an education.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

The world must be getting better.
The proprietor Of a Chicago cafe ad:
vertises the fact that he has no cab
aret
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

The most fitting punishment for q
bigamist would be a sentence to live
with both his wives at once.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

Men like to talk about their achieve
ments, while women are content to
talk about their neighbors.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

In these days when box is more or
less indefinite, why not sell strawber-
ries by the pound?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

What will happen when goat eats
one Of those ultramodern explosive
golf balls?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

The Sunday automobile fatality is
DDw as regular in it's occurrence as
the Sunday drowning.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-07-04

BY benef1cent law of nature and
trade the watermelon is cheapest
when it is best.