The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1913-06-26
MAC HEARD FROM
Former Sank Centreite Writes
from Minneapolis
TALKS ABOUT PUfffR
Saws None Will Dispute That Gentle
mans Claim to Membership in
the "HOIy Rollers"

MINNEAPOLIS. MINI, June Is, My
Dear Herald: Craving pardon in ad-
vance, it occurs to me that your re-
cent and severe attack of Pufferitis
was entirely uncalled for just because
a Bostonese exponent Of Higher Edu-
cation, glittering with culchah, like a
newly born Aphrodite clad in the
spray from oceans magic loom, in
sists on delivering funeral grafton
over the prehistoric remains ok, w.
Can you not see that the man from
Boston has abundant precedent, and
that you are at least 1927 years be-
hind the times? Can you not recall
that the great and progressive q
of NJ, only few years ago, removed
Algebra from the freshman course, on
the ground that i t resulted in so many
failures to pass the exams, realizing
that it was case of no freshies or no
Algebra? Are you utterly unable to
comprehend the tribute conveyed by
their action to the mentality of our
youths?
Then, too, you appear to be totally
and hopelessly ignorant regarding the
genesis of Higher Education. You seem
to assume that it is of modern origin.
Wrong, my editorial friend, quite
wrong. Higher Education was evolv-
by a youthful Macedonian bruiser
whose baptismal name was Alexander,
sometimes called The Great: he was
the only White Hope of his day and
his grape vine swing was said to COM
bine the qualities of a stick Of dyna-
Mantle and the Pope's mule in rear
action and while roaming the hill
countries of Asia, looking for John
Johnson, he came upon an ancient
temple, wherein was preserved an old
war chariot. once the property of
some long dead ruler, to the tongue
of which was tied knot so compiler
ted that no one had ever been able to
solve it: also an inscription to the
effect that whoever should solve the
puzzle, would become master of all
Asia. Aleck did not hesitate mo-
ment. Running his moist thumb
along the edge of his trusty smoker
see to ascertain if it was sharp, he cut
that pesky knot into thousand bits
and at once proclaimed himself Master
of Arts and of Asia and founder of
Higher Education, the rules of which
later, being man of few words, he
embraced in one terse sentence, "When
you come to anything difficult, cut it
out Thus was Higher Education
genesisted and placed on g founda-
tion so firm, that it can never be
shaken. There be those who venture
to dispute his claim, but luckily it
was sworn to before notary, signed,
sealed and recorded and laid up in the
records among the archives and his
claims established beyond all cavil.
So you see, my dear Herald, that
the man from Boston is justified at
least by precedent. AS to his claim
to membership in the society of 'Holy
rollers" no one will dispute it. You
remember the poet once wrote: "Roll
on, thou dark and dee blue ocean,"
and it is rolling yet, and SO, presum-
ably, is MIR. Puffer.
A very old scientist once claimed
somewhat prematurely that the earth
and planets moved. They hailed him
into court, and compelled him to re-
can't, and fined him, don't know how
/. many sesterces, and after he had paid
his fine, he walked off shaking his
head and muttering Nevertheless
it moves"
Sure it moves. Go back if you will
to the days when Israel went down in
to Egypt to take an advanced course
in brick making, and when Potiphar's