Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-01-17
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NJ by ReD k.Moulton.

can afford to it. Grandpa Bibbins
allows as how he is going to wait un-
TIL some minstrel show comes along
and get some of the Olio from them.
Grandpa is too old to spring jokes and
half of them get lost in his whiskers
while on their way to h expectant and
palpitating public.
A swell gaxabo from the city was in
this mans town last Saturday with
his buzz age He asked the way to
sent him in the opposite direction on
the road to Hickory Corners. Durn
them city fellers with their whizzle
cars. anyhow. 1t amt safe to walk in
the rud any more in his vicinity or
elsewhere. William Tibbitts' folks lost
Thursday. There Is o>clue yet. al
thought Constable Eben Hand is at
work on the case.
Professor Ansel Jimkey
that the Hoppertown quartet Is now
prepared to sing Way Down Yonder
ais and other social events with va
riations as desired. Hiram Sphinx, the
champion wood cutter OF Hardscrabble
township. has got a position maxim
wood cuts for a newspaper down tn the
city.
Siias Spillaker. of Hardscrabble
township. called i'm last week and
stopped his paper. Well. the paper
amt like yarb tea. He don't nave to
take 1t III he don't want to. He. wa
sore ecans we didn't publish his pic
tlre the last time he tool Peruna. Con-
stable Ezru Hand threatens to raid
the funk game in the back room OF
the drug store as it disturbs the Odd
Fellow lodge which meets upstairs.
Miss Lutte Bibbins is taking music
Tilson. our barber. All there, Am. Mr..
Eli Sphinx has got "a new bare kin
o%vercoat and his wife has got a neck
scarf n mum made outen pure vermin
fur.
One of the pool balls suddenly few
q game in the Golden Nugget saloon
five weeks ago and it's whereabouts
VAS Il mystery until Yesterday. when
Amariah Tilson. IL tonsorial artist,
found 1t in Grandpa Hibbins' ,whis-
kers. Am" got a drink for takin' it
he is going to examine all whiskers in
the future. Who knows but some day
ne IA find a pianola or Il 45-candle-
power automobile?
1t don't pay to rub a cat or a plug
hat the wrong way. 4. Egbert
city to accept q lucrative position as
second mandolin in Il barber shop
Amos Butts, livery. feed and sales
stables and undertaking with neat
ness and dispatch. also folding chairs
to rent. says he has got a roam geld
ing which went better than three-ten
on a kite shaped track. to trade for
three bushel Of potaters and a cord of
wood. If the other Teller will throw
in a wringer. grindstone. "A box of
RED herrin' and q set of false teeth
suitable for middleaged gent. Amos
will thrown in a bride. laprobe. one
bushel corn, set of mobiles, one good
meat grinder. second hand zinc board.
n hose nozzle (slightly wore) two
volumes of Swede Borgian religion and
hrst class wire dishrag. Here's a
chance for a dicker, gents.
Mrs. Arson Frisby old "A friend
that she cut Mrs. Hank Turns dead
the other day. Constable Exta
Hand is workin' on the case, but he
amt found no murder clew as Vet.
Grandpa BibbiEs has got a new set
OF false teeth made nut of second
hand pianner keys he got at a bar
gain down to the city.
The Rev. Mr.. Hudnutt says there
Is n good thing about an atheist.
He never goes to sleep in church.
Mrs Ansel Hanks is improving con
siderable at this writing. The new
trimmer at Miss Amy Stubbs' millin-
cry emporium has two colors of hair,
dark near the, scalp and yaller at the
ends. Elmer Sphinx expects to hang her
a May basket next spring.
Somebody must be dead in Tage
pants at half mast at this writing.
Arrangements are being made to re-
celve the next message of the preSi-
dent by rOunds at the harness shop.
Young ellie part their iii in the
middle and show that they have got
g soft spot In their heads and old fell
lers part their hair on the sdie SO as
to cover It up.
Jed Frink. our gentlemanly black
smith. % put q new sucker on The
town pump free gratis and 1t IL ex-
pected be will be the logical candi-
near future. The last time Elmer
Jones was down to the city he dropped
q lead pencil In q horseless pianner,
ana It played . time, all right. He
was pretty slick about 1t, too. but In
order to relieve his conscience he ex-
done. That's all right" said the bar
tender. and I'm certainly much
ooNged to you for your having saved
my lie. II I 0ver found q good nickel
IN that palmer I would drop dead.
Old Man Rurdy Get with his feet In
the oven too blame long the other
evening, and when he woke up his
wooden leg was burnt about an inch
on the end. He II now giving fancy
charcoal drawing lessons on the ce-
ment sidewalks about town. Many Z
teller can draw . picture who can't
draw salary. HI Husgins says he
tomorrow evening after supper. Hank
eayp HI may come after Il, but won't
set II - Chlnoe from down TO tll
city - think1ns Of otartins = laundry a
this man's- town. They ~ : Chinl!
have g i've On less than that il sc
oeAxte0 Z lAnnGryshere.
4lt1e eunnoeo4H that 0ean0ma Perkins