The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1913-11-27

eollared him for a tramp the day be-
fore. and the. officer looked him over
and demanded:
'Now. then. have you been begging
al that house,
FL live there, I'd have you know"
Don't lie to me, old fakel have
my eye on you, and II l catch you
tripping you'll go to the cooler. Hustle
along with youT'
Blow to Simple Life.
II was a hard blow to Mr.. Bowser's
simplicity" He fumed and ragged for
the next two blocks, and something
happened that brought about the be-
ginning Of the end. The Keeper of a
restaurant, who was standing at his
door, beckoned to him and said:
Here. old man, If you'll clean of the
rest of this snow I'll give you a bite
Of breakfast"
"You 60 to Jerichoy' was the prompt
and vigorous answer.
"What. What's that? Look a-here,
you old Weary Willie, IL you give me
any OF your lip I'll stand you on your
head, What do you think ann"
And who do you think l amp hiss
ed Mr.. Bowser as he thrust his chin
forward and prepared for battle.
There would have been a scrap but
for a small boy who happened to be
passing and recognized Mr.. Bowser
Say" be called to the restaurateur
that feller amt no tramp! He don't
have to shovel snow to git NEAL"
Then who in blaZes is he?"
Hes old Bowser, who lives up on
First place. He's wearin' them duds
because he's got new fad"
He Sends a Telegram.
Mr.. Bowser left the house at $780, Al
9:15 Mrs. Bowser received a telegram,
reading:
Have fried chicken, corn fritters
and sweet potatoes for dinner tonightv
Half an hour later came another,
reading:
Have oyster soup. Have boiled on
ions. Have rice pudding"
Then Mr. Bowser rested for an hour
and sent the following:
Have dinner half an hour ahead OF
the usual time. Have two fried chick
ems. Have Ice cream and raislns and
nuts for dessert. Spare no expense
whatever"
There was one more telegram. 1t
came about o'clock In the afternoon
and 1t read:
MAY bring home two friends with
me for dinner. Have three fried chick
ems. Have everything you can think
Of. Have regular banquet, and IL the
cook does any kicking raise her salary"
Mr.. Bowser appeared half an hour
ahead of his usual time. He not only
had on the business suit she had sent
over to him, but he had bought him.
self flaming red necktle and rhine
stone pin and had his shoes shined as
never before.
"Well, dear, what is it?" queried
III.
"What is what?'
"Why have you decided not to pur-
sue the simple life any further?"
Il fail to catch your meaning"
"You read the Simple Life,' by the
Rev. Charles Wagner, and you started
out to follow it. Are you going to
drop it,"
"We will have little talk after din
ner, womanr he replied as he made
for the dining room.
Banquet Was Prepared.
A banquet had been prepared, and
though Mr.. Bowser hadn't brought
two friends with him he devoured
their share. A shipwrecked mariner
atioat for two weeks couldn't have
been more ravenous. When he was
at last through eating and drinking he
led the way upstairs and turned to her
to say:
Woman, this is the dead line"
"Why, what do you mean"
81 mean that you have crowded me
to the wall for the last time. l will
see you on board the train for your
mothers at 10 o'clock In the morning"
Put for why? What have I done?
You started out to live simple life
and
"And our respective lawyers can ar
range about the alimony. Should any
one call to see me this evening you
may tell him that am busy and can
not he disturbed"
WAS 1t a-readin' of the Simple Life
that made him carry on so, mumT
asked the cook when Mrs. Bowser
came downstairs.
Il think 1t was, Bridget"
Then wants to quit me job at
once He may get hould of The Fero-
ciouS Life and read 1t before he goes
to bed, and who's to say he won't get
up and eat pounded glass and drink
vinegar and chop us all to pieces wild
de ak! A-beggin' Of yer pardon ten
times over, mum. but we've got
strange man on yer hands,"