The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1913-03-07
FROM A COAL HEAVIER
TO ARMY CAPTAIN
BY Clarence L. Cullen.

This is going to be a perfectly YER
aclous little story about a man who,
starting as a coal HEAVIER in the u.
,; Navy, has become a captain in the
United States Army and will one day
probably be apgeneral.
such things, or similar things, are
known to occur in truly good books
written tor the long-eared, Rollo-
esque youth of the land They rarely
or never happen in actual life. Moth
ing remotely resembling this present
case ever happened before in the his
tory of the land or sea service of the
United States.
No doubt you've already read
something about the man, about one
incident IN his recent life, that is to
say. His name is Captain George
Stenunenberg of Idaho. A few weeks
ago ne was the originator of a con-
siderable gale of laughter that swept
Germany. Germany, being the goat"
OF the gayety, sulked.
The international laughter was Gre
ated by some swinging Kiplingesque
verses written by Captain Steunen-
berg and published in the Army and
Navy Journal The verses deliciously
"guyed" the long masters Of
German military strategy and tao
tics. The raison d'etre of the verses
was highly entertaining, if not dead
ly, being the wallop1ng inflicted upon
the Turkish army by the Bulgarians
and their allies.
Now every schoolboy knows" as
Macaulay used to typewrite it, that
the trainers, seconds, bottle holders
and timekeepers of the Turkish army
are high officers of the German mill
tary organization, some of them the
renowned" writer's of the books on
strategy and things whose names
were humorously alluded to by
Steunenberg in his rhymes Never
theless, for all of the inside ball"
SO to speak, taught to the Turkish
fighting outfit by the German strate-
gists, whose names somehow remind
one of the names of Rhine wine, the
Turks were compelled to back into
Constantinople and get out writs OF
replevin for arnica and other healing
unguents.
There was just little mild, harm
less, twinkling-eyed malice back OF
Steunenberg's verses, to-wit: At the
Military School at Fort Leavenworth
Steunenberg, in common with all
other line officers of the American
Army, had been compelled-and prob
ably will be compelled again-to study
the text works on tactics and such
like written by these very German
officers, who, not few of them, acted
and still act as instructors of The
Turkish forces. 1t is considered very
likely that Captain Steunenberg fount
these text works highly inutile, no
to say futile His verses denote tina
fact, anyhow. They were delightfully."-
swingful and their tenor indicated ;
fine freedom from the fear of conse
quences on the part of their writer
The telegraph and cable took then
up and carried them to all parts o
the world, where the verses wer
printed in full They made laugh
ing sensation akin to that cause'
shortly after the Spanish War, whel
an American Naval officer had hi
name mumbled ominously in some o
the chancelleries of Europe for recit
ing, at a banquet, those memorable
verses bearing on and appertaining t.
the Kaiser, called "Mineself-un
Gott!" .
| Germany promptly got on its higl
horse over the Steunenberg verses
The German Ambassador at Wash
ington put in his most bullioned cour
uniform and called upon the President
| of the United States, the Secretary o.
| War ad the Chief of Staff of the
United States Army to protest against
the verses as being unseemly and
things like that.
The highly placed Americans upon
whom he made these volubly protest
ing calls did their best to assuage and
mitigate the Ambassadors visible
wrath and grief They told him it
was deplorable, really deplorablc, and
that-um-ye-eh-they-d see to it.;
they would certainly see to it that
nothing of the sort should ever hap
pen again. The Ambassador went
away, appeased.
The present writer has it on the
best of authority that no word of ad-
monition from General Wood, Secre-
tary of War Stimson, or anybody else
highly connected with American mill
tary affairs has yet reached Captain
Steunenberg, who at this moment of
writing is on board ship bound for
Honolulu, where he is to be sta
toned. Terrible punishment, to be
sent to the beautiful military post at
Honolulu, in Hawaii. the land Of the
aiwaiy afternoon. for writing some
kidful vcrses--terriblel
"one Of the Biggest. Hardest Hitting,
Two Handed men you ever saw"
But this is all recent history, and
is merely one remarkable tiny Incl
dent in the crowded life which has
been led by George Steunenberg, How
he got to be captain from coal hea-
yer is the story. have sort of par
ticular license to outline the story,
suppose. for ! have known the mar
for about twenty years-from his coal
heaving days. :.
Let me say first of all, that he is
one of the biggest. hardest-hittine
two handed fighting men ] have ever
come upon in the course of consider.
able proving up and down the WORLD
and the Seven seas. To be sure
enough fighting man in such fight
ing outfit as the United States Nav,
\ means something. ! remembe'