The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
ON TIE SPUR
or The MOMENT
oh. Them winmen.
BY ROY K MoULToN.

Twas a dark and dismal day in mer-
RE England. The tog was dense, and
mud was deep and the rain 1t drf-zied
dolefully as good Queen Elizabeth, sne
of the Pains fireworks hair. better
known to her bridge partners as Liz,
started for her walk.
Now it happens that there was a
fine old sport by the name OF Sir Wal
ter Raleigh, who had been making
eyewinks at Queen Liz. He was tired
of working for a living and 1.-THE old
throne looked better to HIM than a
feather bed looks to man who has
been shoeing mules all day. He tried
to get stand-in with Lfz by making
a trip to America, but said trip, while
it was a good press agent stunt for
Walt, didn't crop the heart ana hand
of Queen Liz. oh. no. She was an
old maid for fair.
Walt kept banding around and max
ing noodle of himself, however. and
upon this certain rainy day, when Liz
went out for a constitutional. he was
lurking behind the telephone poles in
the immediate vicinity. Finally Queen
Liz came to a spot in the road whore
the asphalt had been worn baldheaded
and the mud had formed. She had to
cross. Here is my chance" Kissed
Sir Walt between his teeth. and he
ran to the mud puddle and spread his
new crayenette over it so that she
could trip lightly and gaily ACROSS
without. accommodating any English
realty upOu HSE Shippers. anu ShS
tripped across.
"That ought to knock of the per-
simmon," thought Walt to himself.
IF she won't fall for a neat and nifty
piece Of chivalry like that. there will
never be anything doing"
He said: How about it now. Liz?
Do get you?"
Did he get her?
Not on your zinc etching. That's
no way to win 'em. What did Liz go
and do to him. after he had been so
polite? She went and let them chop
his pompadour off right close under
his chin. That's what she went and
done to him.
oh, them wimmen.
Our Beauty Cream.
Our new and celebrated Beauty Cream
Is stun receiying fine Endorsements from
few that filtered in through our voIuni-
nous mail yesterday:
Dear Sir: May heaven bless you. The
Beauty Cream is such a success that my
husband stood on the back platform of
the street car and paid my fare yesterday
when smiled at him. He thought I was
some strange lady.-Mrs. F. e.
Dear Sir: Your Beauty cream is GER
taiIily marvel. was walking down the
street yesterday with my fifteen-year-old
daughter and vaudeville man wanted
us to go on and do sister act.-Mrs. b.
Dear Sir: Since 1 have been using
your Beauty Cream even my husbands
mother has been Obliged to admit that 1
am good-looking woman. That is moth
ing short of miracle.-Mrs. f. D."
Caught on the Fly.
Boston woman suggests that I'M
married men should wear distin-
gushing button. Some of them are not
able to keep any buttons on at ALL
1t seems as though Uncle Sam ought
to find grounds upon which to fight
the coffee trust
A scientist now says permanent life
is possible. He should make the stray
cats a bit apprehensive.
The trouble with the Manhattan and
Bronx cocktails is that they didn't stay
at home
But it doesn't look as though even
the most ardent suffragets will ever
learn to step off the street car the
right way
Galveston is now connected with the
rest of Texas by causeway Some
body has evidently stolen the cause
way that connected Senator Joe Bailey
with that state.
Honolulu reports an earthquake. The
Japanese, for a wonder, are not sus-
pected.
English couple will go on honeymoon
in aeroplane. Let 1t be hoped they
don't have a falling out.