Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1913-03-28
KoLA NEIS is BACK
FROM YARMINY

Many moons have gone their usual
lcycle since Salem has been blessed with
the presence of one Kola Neis, the well
known hop man, and good one. Every
one in this city will readily recognize
the name as belonging to creator of
joviality and cheer and formerly dis
tinguished as "King Bing," and, as us.
ual, chin willin " the dealer in hops
and twenty dollar gold pieces, was open
to conversation when he sailed forth
last night to see the electric lights burn
and the policemen strut.
Kola has been cavorting about the
foreign countries for about year;
humping into every nationality worthy
of the name and gettin acquainted
with royalty to boot.
Before describing his trip to Europe,
Mr.. Neis related his experience upon
arriving home. 1t appears that the
faithful old hop enthusiast had taken
dose of chicory and was on the verge of
taking a dive into the sudS at the Ho.
tel Marion (soap suds, of course) and
freeing himself Of the dust and crime
of travel, when he received call from
an old crOny which, for the space of
second, accounted for Kola s feeling as
though a hard'boiled egg had suddenly
become lodged in his midriff. He says
he began to sweat and evaporate and
signs of not being so cocky
pending the bathing stunt. The hop
man declares that after hearing that
rasping voice, he sort O. changed his
mind about personal cleanliness, remem.
bering n man in London that he owed a
dollar and a picnic pump he had NOR.
rowed from a man in Frankfurt, Ger.
many. In fact, he thought it did not
seem quite square to these people to get
Fletcherizcd by an antivegetarian of
The hop business.
Like a candidate for congress that is
going to tell gray, rheumatic stories and
aud the e. o. p, or knock the tariff
'or five or six hours, KOla says he Z
urned deliberately to the parsonage
Who so rudely hailed him. Lo, and be.
lold, directly in the path of the wan.
Ierlng hop man, stood the man that
vas to cause his head to split and his
Yes to run. Louis Lachmund blocked
he way to bath and other escapes in
he immediate vicinity gathered "the
unch. =" IL
Ach! Don t ask me vot happened
hen. y says Kola, "Der way dose fel.
'rs gif me der prodigal Welcome, you d ,"
thought ] lived in Turner and had
cen down to Woodburn helping my
unit that 5 deef, make sauerkraut. Den
called fer der drinks on me. Den I
llled for one on himself. Next We had
mismo on der hop business. We re.
'ated several times by drinking sew.
al times to der health of the Ex.May. :,
and den to my own, der last seeming =
1t so good.
"Ohl BY that time was feeling like
r Tammany Tiger. came back again "
I'd again, trying all der time to think
some moIcculs Of the animal republic
form Of man that could down that
'sticating bunch, but still they stuck +
II had just begun to take on the size
one of dose grand opera singers that
IS lost dere original shape but retains |,
cir locomtivity and appetite, when
Q blessed hands Of time delivered me
ON der inferno.
"Vay, denF said Kola. "wen, I
der hotel clerk jerking down 7,
red vest and in a whisper announc.
the number Of my room, and follow. II
& a particularly sad session Of bell
ps, I retired" "
To make long story short, Kola got
beloved brother hop men got .
5 little goat, hide, hoofs and horns,
d today tho wanderer is an older and !
ser gentleman. L