The Semi-weekly leader. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1905-1941, 1913-05-24
CRABS" VARIED ITEMS
His Miscellaneous Ideas, Both Seri-
Ous and COmicaI, Told in An
Entertaining Way.

Ibid you ever see spoilt woman?
The company or presence of the
former is far more preferable to
the latter.
! No matter what ails you, some-
body is ready to offer a remedy. Ii.
you have toothache. rub the top of
your "noggin" with your elbow.
1.-The remedy is cheap. but it's aw-
fully straining. And if the baby
has ''apenda-sight-us' give it a.
dose of the old reliable paregoric.
If you are afflicted with bigotness,
most anybody can furnish you with
a remedy. But the best cure is
cool treatment by your acquaint-
ances.
Speaking of ailments. it is next
to alarming the way the automo-
bile fever is spreading A cure
will cost you from $400 to $1,000.
and then you have to keep buying
oil to move the thing. Epidemics
are no terror to US and we feel inn
mune from the auto fever.
AS rule. the we'll that is Deep
est supplies the coolest and best
water. Yes, to win prize of good
value, you must "go down after
1t" Returns Of value never come
voluntarily.
when you are in Rome. do as
the Romans do. Well, you may
do so in every case if you wish,
but we're not going to do that way
except in very few cases. If we
were to follow the above saying we
would be "heels over head'' in
debt. We'd wear the finest clothes,
and live three years ahead of our
income. Oh, yes! we're ''mean as
the Dickens" a regular moss
back and an all round fogy."
How is your cotton? We notice
that the weather has wonderful
influence over the market. A little
dust in the road or thunder in the
west effects the market, although
the plants are not yet forming the
fourth leaf. The yield of crop
can never be accurately estimated
until it is gathered. Guess work
is no good. even if it does "hit"
OCCASIONALLY.
Cabbage are now on the market
galore. and doctors will soon get
busy. The human stomach ought
to be double lined with copper to
Withstand the bad effects of some
diet that is dumped into it. No,
we will eat no more cabbage and
fat meat for supper. 1t makes us
dream OF snake and automobiles.
And the base ball season is also
very much on. Many a player will
exert himself almost to the point
of fatigue this summer just for the
sake of doing something that is in
no wise practicable. He will sweat
himself all away in the ball field,
but he would snort, cavort and
raise the devil if you we're to put
him to work in corn field.
From everywhere comes the cry
Swat the fly" He'll tickle you
on the nose when you're trying to
doze. Sbwat the fly He's con-
slant visitor to the stables. Then
he promenades on dining tables.
Nasty fly, swat him! If you have
on your hand an ugly sore, there
lights the fly to be a bore! He
crawls on dogs and lights in the
gutter: then he CONFESS to the ia BILE
and boggs up in the butter! Nasty
thing, swat him
But this mosquito proposition.
That's ''hoss of another color"
That varmint is hard thing to
handle. He is a great serenader
and he usually gets pay for his fine
music. He lives a more genteel
and decent life than the house fly
but his presence is just as detesta-
bic. His bite is often dangerous,
as he inoculates the poison uf mias-
ma into the system and a siege of
fever often follows. Screen all
swamps, ponds, creeks and rivers,
the let's get rid of the scoundrel..
The potato bug is also tomato
bug. In fact. he will eat anything
that is green; but he passes away
when he eats Paris green.
Again We remind some folks that
they are robbing themselves of the
JOY of life when they strain every
button on their clothes trying to
get rich" Some gluttons will
figure on their funeral expenses
when they find that they are near
ing life's end. Be ashamed!
In justice court. "Aleck," said |
the justice. you are charged here
with trespassing. What have you
to say about it," ''Yas sub, dat's
SO! Twas dispassing!" 81 know!"
said the Justice, but did you tres
pass on this mans propertyYp
"Yas sub! / des passed fru and
went on erbout my business.
Then you deny this charge of tres-
passing, = said the Court. .Jedge.
/ pleeds gilty ter passing. but |
wants de coat or some other gentle
mems to splain de fust part OBJ dat |
word befo ! goes inter general de-
tails erbout de NATTER
This batch of notes looks to Us
like general mixture, /" but you
may pick out what suits you and
leave the other unread. It's all
the same to US if you don't read
any of it. Aheml
CRAB APPLE.
| Henry M. FlagIer, aged 8s. died
at West Palm Beach. Fla. One Of |