davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Oily Jim Loses a "Shot"

The clerks at the st. Francis are tell
ing a story, which has gone the rounds,
about certain distinguished guest of
the hotel, whose name Is kept sub rosa.
This gentleman made a habit OF keep
ing late hours. Almost any time after
midnight he was to be seen standing
sedately on the big steps facing Pow
ell street, enjoying the early morning
sights and sounds
He became acquainted with a per-
son known as oily" Jim. Jim drives
a huge oil wagon that supplies the st.
Francis with fuel. Each morning at
! O'Clock he blows his shriii whistle
and the taxicabs standing in front OF
the hotel move out of Jfm's way. Jim
gets rid of his wagon load of oil and
eproceeds to the clerks desk to get
his receipt
The other night the hero Of the story
had been dining and winning largely.
He felt fine. He was standing In the
lobby about 2 a. m expiring to buy
some one drink. Looking about, he
thought he saw in a shabby appearing
man his friend, oily" Jim. Our hero
approached and doffed his hat.
Friend, won't you have one little
shot with me in the elegant bar just
few PAGES away" he asked without
much trouble.
Friend" would Like brothers they
drink together. Then the shabby one
turned and left his host. who walked
up to the clerks desk and volunteered
the information that Oily" Jim was
= nice e-hic-schplsudid fellow.
That wasn't Jim, said the clerk.
THAT was the garbage man."
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
4etch Hetchy Approved

HH The unanimous approval by the house OF rep
resenfafives' public lands committee OF the
Hetch Hetchy water right bill should insure It's
passage BY the house.
a significant feature OF the report IS that Repre-
sentative Underwood suggested that San Francisco
must pav the federal government for the Use OF the
water and the right OF way for aqueduct, and the
committee adopted his suggestion.
This would seem to indicate, but not necessarily
50 that the democratic leader and master OF the
house was satisfied with the bill in other respects,
would not oppose IT, and probably will permit its
passage as an emergency measure
It Is not surprising to San Franciscans that the
unanimous report OF the committee was that an
emergency exists. because we ali know il IS so.
Moreover, the committee knows that the only
opposition to the measure came from just two
sources-John Muir and his press agency, on behalf
OF the beauties OF nature" and those interested
either directly or indirectly in the Blue Lakes
scheme.
There never has been any real doubt that San
Francisco needs water or that the Hetch Hetchy
project is the most suitable one. Nor has there
been any doubt, in the minds Of those who know,
that the beauties OF the Yosemite park will not be
damaged bv the reservoir in the Hetch Hetchy
valley. The talk that the Hetch Hetchy valley,
beautiful as it IS IS the most beautiful to be seen,
Is preposterous TO any one who has seen the
Of other similarly beautiful valleys in which Cali
iornia abounds.
Much will be due to the California congressman
If they succeed in making Hetch Hetchy an energ-
ency measure, and they have need OF every ounce
Of their power to make II 50, and 70 make it into
law
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
A Petty Revenge

n The refusal of the government of Great
Britain to take part in the Panama Pacific
exposition certainly affords fine evidence OF a
spirit OF petty revenge unworthy OF so great a
nation as England
The reason suggested as the ground for this
decision does not appear to be adequate as motive
for an action which must react in more ways than
one.
The failure OF the American government to
renew the expired arbitration treaty with Great
Britain and the decliHation to submit the question
OF canal tolls to be paid by foreign and American
shipG are matters of diplomatic adjustment be-
tween two nations and can be so treated and set
tied right.
The British government apparently looks on
the Panama-Pacihc exposition as strictly an enter
prise Of the federal government, with which it has
diplomatic relations 1t hardly know the fact
which is that the exposition has been projected,
financed and managed by the people of this city
and state.
The governments relation to the exposition is
really for the most part, pro forina. The exposition
has been given official recognition and status, but
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Reddin2 All Right

A. different feeling exists in Ander-
son, Cottonwood and Kennett toward
the county seat since the carnival and
mining congress. Why? Because the
residents of that section see plainly
that Redding does not hog" everything
as has been stated. This s,hoExinge
process is in the envious minds eve
% the knocker. the silurian. and 40
where else.--Redding Register
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

for s1.575. Childish Amusement and
Youth Dfverting Age" by Dickinson
and Grocer, brought $1,000. Travel
ers' and .Cottagers." by w Ward
were knocked down for s1.575 The
First of September" by the same artist
sold for s1,1D0. His Visit TO the
Boarding School and a Visit to the
Child at Night fetched s1,5T5. a
Party Angling" and THE Anglers Re-
past" by Ward and Heating sold for
s1.s40- Hawking" by c. Turner, after
J. Howe, went for $1,000.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
SALE OF OLD ENGLISH ENGRAVINGS

At the last sale OF engravfngs of the
early English school, at Christfe's, Lon
don, the following prints brought $1,000
each "A Vegetable Market" by W.
Ward; Selling Rabbits and The
Citizens Retreat by W. Ward; "A
cottager Going to Market" and "A
Cottager Returning From Mar
ket," by J. Ward, and Outside
OF a Country Alehouss.r BY ".
Ward. The Happy cottagers" and
THE Gipsles' Tent by ]. Grocer. went
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Flying In the Face of Providence

An old colored woman on the banks
OF the James river, in Virginia. was
afflicted with ague and rheumatism
When her physician commanded her
TO swallow several large quinine cap
sules. she obeyed, but the operation
frightened her nearly to death. After
the doctor had left, she lay upon the
bed and groaned aloud
Her daughter, moved to compassion,
finally took down the old woman, s
clay pipe from the shelf. filed it with
tobacco. and carried it to her in one
hand. while in the other she held a
red hot coal with a pair OF tongs.
Hyuh. ma" she said Light up yoh
pipe an ease yohse'f wild = little
smoke
-Lawdy." cried the old nanny.
Don't bring none OBJ dem live Goals
50 close to mel Don't you know I jes'
done swallowed lot OBJ cartridges?' ?''--
The Popular Magazine.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Provisional Government

Father said the small boy, what
is provisional government"
Well my son, my impression In
general way is that a provisional gov
ernment is one that has to keep hus-
ting from day to day for provisions. /.
Washington Star.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

SILVER 6RAYs-A. o. s. City silver
Grays" was name given in 1850 to the conserr-
attire or conscience whigr At a convention held
In Syracuse, n Y, September - OF that yrar
the staBd taken By the rhigs in congress to the
effect that the slassry question lad been settled
by tAe compromise Of that year, which oollcr
was approved hy President MilIard Fillmore. lca
70 dissensiens In the party In many ne the states
and to 80 mach hostility against the presiaen,
that those delegates who were his supporters
arose and left the convention In hcdy. As
most Of them were elderly persons some one
remarked as fhey passed out: There 90 the
silver graFs''
FCTIRlSIS AND cTBISTS-P r.. CITY
"Futurists' and .-Cpbists" are terms applied to
artists who paint in sn unconventional stria
The former, 1t is claimed. paint rather the xoul
than the material form of things. while tho
latter form their pictures on the llae Of cube.
TETRAZZINI--A. S., City Tetrazsins. tbs
singer. made her first appearance In sas Fran.
cisco at the TIreii
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

POKER-r. O. B., Yosemite. When straights
are not pisFed in poker. fours beat straight
Gash. In this game straight fueh, thst Is, a
sequence Of Eve cards all Of the same suit. when
straiehts are rot played, does not rank higher
than common eush, but when strsights are
plsTed Ii il the highest hand that can be held
and beats four Of Kind. so says HoFle.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
LITTLE MOVIES
Habits of the Hen

The perxerse hen is hard to beat;
consarn her pesky way.
she always ambles home to eat;
And goes next door to lay.
kansas City Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Modern Methods

One Of the kids has been at the
jam
Can you detect the culprit~
Yes. my wife has thumb prints of
All the children. City journal
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
Signs

Do you regard it as a sign of .ro,,h,o
"hen you pass red headed girI?-
NO look for trouble only when
don't succeed in passing her..-chicago
Record Herald
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
ANSWERS TO QUERIES

AREA AND PoPULAIIoS-F. c., Half Moon
Bay. The following gives To. area aud Ropula-
tion, according to the --latest statistics, OF the
countries asked about:
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

Senator Poindcxter of Washington has put dozen
relatives the federal payroll Sounds like the days of
Flanagan OF Texas who asked What arc we here for
except the ofhccs?r
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

Few people know that there is fine arts commission
for the Panama canal which make the canal thing
OF beauty as well as of What winter resort the
is going to be some dayl
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
FERRY TALES
By LINDSAY CAMPBELL

The Ancient Mariner gave a peculiar
chuckle the other morning as he looked
up from a newspaper clipping that he
had been studying 1t was a chuckle
that seemed to say. Somebody ask me
why I'm SO happy and TIL tell him
something worth while
Whether he travels Key Route or
Southern Pacific the Ancient Mariner
always has an audience, and he didn't
have TO chuekie twice
See this Clipping he asked. mold
ing up the strip Of paper for inspection
It's from an English newspaper A
friend sent It to me. It's an account of
the trial of libel suit in which Colo
mel Roosevelt proved that'he was prac-
ticaily teetotaler. but not prejudiced-
T know the. colonel. and this would
break his heart IL he could see It
There are two paragraphs explain
ing that many prominent society people
attended the trial and that the Judge
allotted them seats according to their
social rank But this is where the
sting would be for Theodore. He gave
himself pretty good reputation in the
course OF his testimony. He preached a
whole series of sermons and here's all
this paper says about It.
:" The ex-presidents evidence aggre-
gated five columns OF newspaper
space"
Q @ o
The colonel has this satisfaction-
which may not please the Ancient Mar
iner-that the Ancient Mariners un-
charitable JOY has resulted In getting
column. where. it might be added. both
the colonel and the Ancient Mariner are
welcome.
o o o
Want to see you. Very Important.
win call again before noon.-Loyey."
This note was discovered by his as
sociates on the desk of q well known
local writer. he is a man whose life
was presumed TO be along the strict
path Of domestic probity. He doesn't
pose. but those who know him and his
views take II for granted that Mrs.
Caesar. for instance. has nothing on
him.
He had left the office TO escort his
wife TO the railroad depot, so 'Lovey"
must be somebody else.
The rasca1.v said the man who saw
the note frsL tFil have to tell the
gang"
o G o
Within half an hour every man in
the concern had taken look at that
note and hazardsd q guest as to the
identity of ~Loyey"
Half dozen of them were standing
by the desk telling each other how
Httle one could tell from outward ap-
pearances. when a visitor entered the
Office
Phil herer' he inquired. Looking
around, he was able to answer his own
question. Il left q note on his desk,
and IL it's still there please tear it up.
1t doesn't matter now. But you might
tell him that 1 called. Give him this
card
On the card was the inscription: Il.
". Loyey. ATTORNEY at Law"
O @ @
It MAS complete alibi and perfect
exoneration. but. Just the same. Lovey
is no name TO leave lying around on
married HaeH's desks. There's trouble
enough in the world already
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

The colonel has this satisfaction-
which may not please the Ancient Mar
iner-that the Ancient Mariners un-
charitable JOY has resulted In getting
the coloners name into the ferry tale
column, where. it might be added. both
the colonel and the Ancient Mariner are
welcome
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01

It WAS a complete aIibi and perfec'
exoneration, but, Just the same. Loves
is no name to leave lying around or
married EaeHs desks. There's trouble
enough in the world already.
The San Francisco call., 1913-08-01
THE WHISTLING BOY

IN the ST. Louis Post-Dfspa.es.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
Great Virtue.

There is no greater everyday virtue
than cheerfulness. This quality in
woman is like sunshine to the day, or
gentle renewing moisture to parched
herbs. The light of a cheerful face
diffuses itself and communicates the
happy spirit that inspires it.
The sourest temper must sweeten
In the atmosphere of continuous good
humor. AS well might fog and cloud
and vapor hope to cling to sun-illum-
lned landscape as "the blues" and
moroseness to combat jovial speech
and exhilarating laughter.
There is no path but will be easier
travelled, no load but will be lighter
no shadow on heart or brain but will
lift sooner in the presence of de-
termined cheerfulness. 1t may at times
seem difficult for the happiest temper
ed to keep the countenance of peace
and content, but difficulty will vanish
when we truly consider that sullen
gloom and passionate despair do moth
ing but multiply thorns and thicken
sorrows.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
Mr.. DOLBY IMPOSED ON
WHY HE BROKE A SELFISH RES.
OlUTION.
Had Resolved to Play Part of Hog
on a Crowded Street Car, Until
Woman With Borrowed Baby
Appeared.

Dolby likes babies. That is why he
gave his seat to the ood-looking
young woman In the triangular
brown hat. She carried baby. If she
mad not been so incumbered she would
nave been condemned to strap hang
ing. so far as Dolby was concerned,
FOR he vowed at the beginning of
the trip that he was going to play the
hog.
I'm dead tired" he said to Mr..
Bowler. Thank heaven, I've found a
seat. | am going to stick to it, too.
Nothing short of an accident or wo-
man with baby can rout me out till
| get home
Bowler said "Humph," as did sew
erai other passengers who overheard
Dolby's selfish resolution. The young
woman in the brown hat stood within
hearing distance as Dolby thus de-
clared himself, but she did not say
"Humph." She merely thought it..
Presently she edged down the car un-
til she stood directly in front of Dol
by. About that time the baby began
to show off. He kicked at Dolby's
hat, first with the left foot and then
with the right, and then with both
feet simultaneously, and said, 10000
co." very plaintively.
Dolby looked up and met the baby's
eye. The youngsters gaze embar-
rassed his somewhat, so he allowed
his eyes to travel little higher. That
time he encountered an appealing
glance from the young woman. Dolby
became still more embarrassed; he
sat still few seconds longer.
Madam" he said, will you have
this seat?"
Thank you," sighed the young wo-
man. You are very kind"
1t really was not worth while to tell
Dolby that. He already had an exas-
gerated notion of his own magnani-
nifty, 30. to even things up, he retired
to the back platform and picked a
quarrel with the conductor. When he
got tired Of that he stepped inside the
car again. Directly in front of him,
but under different guardianship. sat
the baby that had so ruthlessly as
saulted the rim of his hat a few min
utes before.
100000" coed the baby.
Hello" said Dolby. Aren't you
the kid that took liberties with my
headgear little while ago? How
did vou Oat doup IN thJc and ~ tho
carr"
The baby's reply was not exactly in
telligible, so his mother supplemented
1t with more lucid explanation.
He belongs here" she said. "The
lady sent him back. She just bor-
rowed him for few minutes"
With one quick glance Dolby re-
treated to the platform, and there he
stayed.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
DESSERT DISHES OF RHUBARB
Pudding, Tapioca or Shortcake,
Make Delicious Confection.

Rhubarb Pudding : Mash half a
pound of bag or pulled figs, or use
dates or raisins, or mixture of all OF
of any two of these fruits. Cover
with boiling water and cook until
water is nearly absorbed. Cut a
pound of rhubarb in inch pieces, put a
layer of the cooked dried fruit, and
repeat until all is used. Add a quar-
ter of cup of hot water and bake in
slow oven until the rhubarb is soft.
Serve cold alone or with cream.
Rhubarb Tapioca-Soak half a cup
of tapioca over night and cook until
clear in a double boiler. Place in a
buttered pudding dish two cups of rhu-
barb, cut in small pieces; one cup of
sugar and a pinch of ginger. Pour
the hot tapioca over this, stir in one
teaspoonful of butter, cover and bake
one hour. Put meringue on it be-
fore serving, if you like, or serve it
cold, with plain or whipped cream.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
Impure Blood
Gets Good Bath
Wonderful How Quickly
Your Entire System
Awakens When the
Blood is Cleansed.

II you are down with rheumatism; II
you sneeze, feel chilled, are choked with
catarrh, have cough, or your skin Is
pimpled and irritated with rash, eczema,
or any other blood disorder, just remem-
ber that almost all the ills of life come
from impure blood. And you can easily
give your blood a good, thorough cleans
ing, a bath, by using S. S. s. There Is
no need for anyone to be respondent over
the illness of blood impurities No mat.
ter how badly they attack the system, or
how unsightly becomes the skin, Just re.
member there is one ingredient in s. S. 8.
that SO stimulates the cellular tissues
throughout the body that each part se-
ects Its own essential nutriment from
the blood.
This means that all decay, all breaking
down of the tissues, Is checked and re.
pair work begins. S. S. s. has such O
specific influence on all local cells as to
preserve their mutual welfare and afford
4 proper relative assistance to each other.
More attention Is being given to con.
structive medicine than ever before and
S. S. S. is the highest achievement In this
line. For many years people relied upon
mercury, iodide Of potash, arsenic, phys.
les, cathartics and dope" as remedies
for blood sickness, but now the pure
botanical S. S. S. is their safeguard.
You can get S. s. S. in any drug store,
but insist upon having 1t. The great
Swift Laboratory in Atlanta, Ca, pre-.
pares this famous blood purifier, and you
should take no chance by permitting any
one to recommend q substitute.
And II your blood condition Is such that
you would like to consult q specialist
freely and confdentially, address the
Medical Department, The Swift Specific
Company, 100 Swift Bldg, Atlanta, Ga.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
On Modern Man.

The late Emerson Taylor, our con
sui at Port of Spain," said Washing
ton official, "hailed from Dry Run, and
he had fund of happy Dry Run hui
NOR.
Taylor once compared disgruntled
brother consul to a Dry Run house
wife.
This woman" he said, "often took
a queer, disgruntled view Of things
Thus she said one day:
II don't think the prodigal son was
so bad, after ALL
He want no good to his family,
said her husband.
"That's fact said the Dry Run
woman. But when he got home, all
the same, he knowed enough to keep
his mouth shet. II he'd been like the
twentieth century man, by crinus, the
first thing he'd done would "a been
to find fault with the way the fatted
calf was cooked"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25

.TcAUU02D:s ) :
GOOD STORY WITH A MORAL
Excellent Illustration Showing That
Nobody Amounts to Much Who
Doesn't Hustle.

There was large Thomas cat that
had Its habitation In store, the To.
peka Capital says. 1t was reported to
be fine blooded animal from a family
OF distinguished rat destroyers. The
cat was a beauty and everybody round
the store took turn at furnishing
grub suited to the taste of blooded
cat.
1t was observed, however, that there
was no reduction of the rat or mice
population, and the proprietor of the
store commenced to inquire into the
reason why. He first tried the cat on
rat that had been caught in trap,
but the feline expressed no interest or
animation. He looked at the rat and
then walked away. The storekeeper
was disappointed, but not entirely dis.
couraged He thought perhaps that
cats specially was mice, and as he
had a mouse or two that had been
caught alive in trap. he turned them
loose In front of the cat. but 1t paid
no more attention to them than q
sheep would do to rare done beef.
steak.
Il think" said the storekeeper, "that
am onto this situation. | will fire the
next employe who gives that cat any.
thing to eat" For two days the
Thomas cat did good deal of bowling
and wore a look of injured innocence.
He felt that he had been wronged, and
was ready to start an insurrection, but
as that didn't seem to get him any
where, he turned loose on the rats and
mice In way that was surprising.
The second day after this change of
programe the rats held a convention
to consider what ought to be done.
When the leading orator among the
rats arose, he said: Fellow rats, this
Is no time for talk. What we want to
DO Is to move. That cat hasn't any
more natural ability than he had be-
fore, but he has concluded that he
either has to hustle or starve, and
have discovered that when a cat gets
In that frame Of mind his neighbor-
hood Is no place for rats"
Many men and women, as well as
cats, have never amounted to whoop
just because they never had to hustle.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
High Price for straIqhtness.


One of the most difficult problems in
practical mechanics is to make a
straight edge. How difficult 1t is may
be Judged from an incident that oc.
CURED in the shop of celebrated as.
Economical instrument maker.
A patron asked what would be the
price of "a perfect straight edge of
glass SO inches long"
1T cannot be made perfect" said
the instrument maker; "but 1t could
probably be made with limit Of error
amounting to only fraction Of a
wave length of light"
How much would that cost"
about forty thousand dollars"
1t turned out that the customer
wanted the straight edge for a scraper
and that an error of one sixty-fourth Of
an inch would not bother him.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
Golf Ball Maker.

mat has a spring attachment to con-
troll Its movement. On top of the plum
ger is cup into which golf ball is
placed. BY pressing down on the lever
tne rlunger rises and the ball Is
pressed against the die. The force of
'ne impact Is sufficient to set the die
revolving and it continues to revolve
us the ball rises againts 1t. This has
.ne effect Of turning the ball around in
the cup 30 that 1t is stamped around
us entire circumference.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
Rewarded by the Boss.

The Office boy had been discovered
IN lie. 1t was not one of the ordinary
prevarications of our everyday world,
put quite a serious and deliberately
mendacious effort.
DO you know, my lad" asked q
clerk In kind tones. what becomes OF
Lads who trifle with the truth?"
Ay." was the confident reply, "the
boss sends them out travelling when
they grow up!"-Weekly Telegraph.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-07-25
DEVICE TO MAKE GOLF BALLS
Sphere Rests on PIunger and Is Press.
ed Up Against DIe-Designed by
Pennsylvania Man.

An apparatus for imparting to golf
balls their peculiar pock-marked COM
plexion has been designed by Penn
sylvania man. Arising from metal
base Is a metal standard with an over
hanging and bifurcated arm. In the
bifurications of this arm rotary die
is pivoted. Directly below this die is
a vertically moving plunger that is op-
Grated by little lever at the side and