The Washington herald., 1913-02-23
sTATEsMEN-REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED C. KELLY.

Let us suppose that II Is a balmy, sun
ny day in San Diego. California-just the
kind of n day that the men who write
| tri-colored booklets for transcontinenta
railroads like to enlarge upon.
It Is such a bright, cheerful day that
all the citizens look happy as they pro-
ceed to their places OF business, every
one surcharced with optimism and hav-
| ing little thought of the morrow. Then
comes upon the scene one William Kett-
ner, a clever, high-minded, and success
fui life insurance solicitor. kettner has
been elected To the next Congress from
San Diego. but At the time we are now
dealing with he is still selling insurance.
He meets his first victim and impules
him with his eye. They converse.
"Ah. Ills indeed a lovely day. re-
marks the victim with hearty enthusi-
asm. No matter how many fine days
there are. a real Californian never
ceases 10 lie enthusiastic over another
one
Eyes. it is a nice day" comedies Kett-
ner. smiling plea sanity.
II feel a3 if / could lick my weight
in wildcats any time for the next sew
enty " eighty years." goes on the I'M
suspectiny victim.
That's the way one feels on 4 fine
day like this" agrees kertner:: -Stiil.
one never knows when illness or accident
may overtake him. Only week before last
/ was talking with poor Oswald Hicks
! on, just such a day as this. 1t was-and
Oswald was bubbling with the JOY of life.
Just like you are now. And, yet, think
what happened! A couple of days later
poor Hicks was seized with appendicitis
and died in the midst of a thoroughly
successful operation. The worst Of II
, was that Oswald always lived right up TO
his income. and his poor family. accus-
toned to all the good things of life, are
now left almost without a cent Its
tough. that's what 1t is. Now, II Oswald
had had the foresight to carry a good
bunch of life insurance, as he could
have done Just as well as not
And so on. Kettner next cites the
case of Gus Sims. who was killed in an
automobile accident. leaving a widow
with nothing but manicuring or chirop-
ody between her and starvation. AS he
talks. Kettner sizes up his victim as
much as to say:
You yourself don't look any two rug
ged. oh, how brief life is,"
BY the time he has proceeded three
blocks. Eettner has thrown his prey into
the depths of geld gloom from the con-
temptation of the uncertainties of this
life. Also, he writes him for at least a
$1,000 life insurance policy.
Kettner has cast more gloom into the
happy, care-free people of San Diego
than any other insurance man around
there. Just when a man was in good
spirits and comparatively free from
worry, Kettner was certain to drop
round with his dank. depressing talk
about the death specter and scare him
into increasing his life insurance.
Thus We see why Kettner was packed
off to Congress. The voters figured that
with Kettner in Washington, life would
be much more cheerful in San Diego.
He got $500 plurality on the Democratic
| ticket in a district normally $500 Repub-
lican. The people cast their ballots to
Danish gloom, without regard to party
affiliations.
Kettner helped his campaign along con-
siderably by applying a card-index sys-
tem and being just as persistent for votes
as he had been in writing insurance.
Then a good many looked at II much
as one man did who was talking about
Kettner one day to Kettner's opponent.
What sort of fellow is this man Kett-
ner?' asked the voter.
Hes a good enough cnap." Kettner's
opponent replied, but say frankly that
he is not Congressional timber. He's Just
an insurance man."
IAN insurance man, you say" exclaim-
ed the voter. I'm sorry. but I guess I'll
have to vote for him. Why. he can 80
down to Washington and talk the birds
out of the trees"
Mayor Nevto. d. Baker. of Cleveland,
ia small and boyish-fooking. but there Is
a quiet dignity about him that discourages
the politicians from .slapping him on the
back and calling him Newt"
In the course OF the campaign this last
fall, however, Ealler spoke In small
Ohio town, where he was obliged to sub
nit to introductions to a lot of people
that he probably didn't care \ continental
about meeting !.
One of the men presented to him had
followed a lifelong custom of taking sew
eral drinks before going to meeting,
and he was disposed to talk to the
scholarly Mayor OF the sixth city about
as freely as he would to a street car
conductor.
"Say. d,you Know Looey Soandso up In
Cieveiand:" he inquired
Looey was not much OF a parsonage
as IL happened, but Baker, out Of polite
ness, said he knew him
"Weii, there's Just one thing I've got
agin you," said the man.
And what is thatyi Baker felt Obliged
to inquire, though he didn't see that IT.
matfered. s
why replied the man triumphanSly.
as he let loose Shrek Of laughter and
slapped Baker on the back, "the fact
that you know Looey"
tCscnisht M. b md c. Kelly. An dshts ~