The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-05-31
|ABatch Of Smiles

Yes" said the man just back from
the west. when l went out to Mont
n l did what nearly every other
tenderfoot does-bought n of hose
road brimmed felt hats like h ones
stage cowboys wear, and put 1t IN at
the first opportunity.
Mine wasn't the only n in town.
but J. felt conspicuous just the same.
Somehow or other 1 hadn't acquired
the knack of wearing it. One windy
day-and, believe me, it can blow
some in b without half trying
walked down the main street Of the
town holding onto my hat with one
hand and my coat with the other. Az
I turned a corner the wind seemed to
stop blowing, and I let go Of the hat.
when a sudden gust came, took 1t on
my head and sent it rolling like a
frightened hoop down the street.
II started to give chase, when an
other hatless mamie was a sure
enough westerner, too-took me by
the arm and said:
u" Don't chase it, pardner, there'll
be another one along in a minute!'"
The nurse on duty in a hospital was
giving the little ones their last meal
for the day. All ave n were pa
tiently awaiting their turn to be serv.-
ed, the n in question being a rosy
checked convalescent who was Justify
calling for her portion. The nurse
was an English girl who had not yet
become quite sure of her aspirates.
"Haren't o a little himpatient.
Florence?" inquired the nurse, with
just a o n of correction in her voice.
mo. I'm mott" returned Florence.
promptly. I'm a little her patient"
The detective had Just congratulate
ed the housewife for bringing about
the arrest Of a noted sneak thief.
"Oh. 1 knew he was a crook from
the minute he opened his mouth" she
replied smilingly.
How did you spot him SO quick
ly?"
why, he told me the gas company
had sent him to examine our meter
and see If we were not entitled to d
rebate.
Now said the warden to the forg-
er who had Just arrived at the prison.
well set YOU to work. What can
you do best?"
Well, if you'll give me a weeks
your official papers for you," said the
prisoner. But there were reasons why
the warden refused to do this.
A Washington man and his wife,
whose domestic complications are fire.
quent but not serious. had one even
ing called upon a married couple. On
their way home the lady said:
Now, in the case of the Parkers.
1 should say it was an ideal marriage.
Really. I believe they both think alb
solutely alike"
Charming people, charming peo-
thinking, Gladys, If you will notice,
she generally thinks first"
John D. Rockefeller called two lit
tie boys over to him. He said to me-:
Johnnie. If I give you a dollar what
will @ do with it?"
Johnnie said: I'll put it in the
bank and let it draw interest until it
gets to be a hundred, then a thou
sand, and so on, until I get as much
as you got"
Very good" said John D. Here's
the dollar. Now, Tommy. what would
You do with a dollar?"
Tommy said: First I would change
the dollar into two halves, III two
halves into four quarters. the four
quarters into ten dimes, the ten dimes
into twenty nickels, the twenty nick
els into a hundred pennies"
Why should you do all this?" ask
ed John d. +.
Tommy replied: Well. somebody
may q a mistake"
When the new girl from the en-
ployment agency had duly presented
her references and the mistress had
read them over. she regarded the girl
with a stern eye.
II am not satisfied with these ref
erences." she finally said.
I'm not ayether. num-" said the
frank Celt, but they're the best I
could git, num-
Wouddn,t this he a sestfrl ..oxla