New-York tribune., 1913-08-25
AS | WAS SAYING

Gentle Alice Stone Blackwell has put on her pink
sunbonnet d.gone botanizing among the flowers OF
rhetoric and it is a captivating nosegay she brings
home:
From patriots address the school board bal
lot for women: IF we make this experiment the
race will be blasted by Almighty God"
From remarks on the founding of vassar "rhe
mere that it is called "a college for women is
enough No refined Christian mother will send her
daughters"
From protest against women on school boards:
This threatens the home threatens the sacredness
Of the marriage tie threatens the Church and under
mines the foundations of great republic"
And finally this shy blossom from speech on the
bill to give wives a right to their own earnings
These unsexed women would overthrow the divine
law and establish its ruins species OF legalized
vice"
Dainty flowers all, but womans place is In the
home and we wish gentle Alice would stay there
She is not to be trusted among the flowers OF rhet-
orIc Too plainly she aims to pull them up by the
roots.
whereas. they are precious; and so, by jngo. is
the genius that produced them. Getting scarcer
every day. too We must keep our eye on the Few
surviving geniuses. Already we have lost Harry.
But do not despair Frantic efforts being
we can only applaud his retort. who's loony now?'
At this point We avoid an abrupt transition by in
Producing our timely friend, the giraffe. Are YOU
stunned by the advance of woman, knocked incred-
uous by the legal marvels revealed In the Harry
hunt? Then consider the giraffe. Time was-or so
il says in an English paper-when "our discrmi-
mating ancestors" declined to believe In that I'M
probable beast What was it Thomas Hood called
the giraffe? The great anti-climsx.
80 very lofty at the front.
So dwindling at the tail'-
as noble a tribute, almost the remark We once
overheard Gosh. his dinner must come down with
a thump"
And while We are delving among the antiquities,
behold this crumb Of comfort for the n-Smokers'
League Old man Benzon is discoursing Of the
wicked Guatemalans and the weed:
Some there arc who take much Of IT that
their senses whirl from this cruel perfume and they
fail down fat as though stark dead. | do not be-
lieve that devils could bech forth a more pene-
trating stencil"
Oh. encourasing This was in 1865. and just see
how the weed has been curbed in the brief period
since then
Yes brethren, there are Engishmen who cannot
see a joke when II is offered them in all It's
fagrancy. For instance. his ordshp Of Strathcona.
't is high time" writes he, naively. that the spirit
OF fun was introduced into furniture"
All! here comes Brother Dels enchanting treatise,
Women as World Builders" We open at random
Gracous Chapter Mrs. Pankhurst!
Quite a shock, consider her record among the
edifces though-the longer reflect the less we
demur What woman of has done more for
the building trade? At this rate, old England will
hardly know herself.
Or America either. Here. too face the ques-
ton Shall the universe be rebuilt? II began with
car steps Many a company is rebuilding It's cars to
provide low steps for hobbled ladies. And when our
Broadway bellies find themselves X-rayed by an ad-
vertsers searchlight, hear how they scream for a
new Broadway with searchlights left out!
All very proper no doubt but there hints of
a different solution. SO subtle! II simply am not
going to allow these costumes! roars the Chief OF
Police in Attleboro Mass What | want in this
town is that women shall dress like human beings"
Drastic. Revolutionary! Yet, reluctant to re-
build its new station, the Pennsylvania Railroad
threatens to publish descriptions OF any lady who
catches tumble on it's premises 1t will delneate
her skirt and her heels and-oh the brutality.-her
age.
Since this blood -curdling announcement we have
searched in vain for such reports. Why? We can
guess.
Which leads up to awfully jolly consideration
Who is it that scares with those shocking clothes
nine times out OF ten? The sweet young thing?
bud of the last century, even? No. beloved; in at
least two senses she looks like sixty. Hence still
jollier observation.
Madam you think you are exhibiting your pretty
feet and your dainty colesphlipsy ankles. Instead
YOU are challenging to detect silver threads
among the gold and, though it gricves us to mention
them wrinkles. Ergo:
Now is the time to wear out your old shoes.
II. l.. III.