The Washington herald., 1913-03-04
sTATENEN-REAL AND NEAR
By FRED c. KELLY.

ways OF political bosses and help to ex.
plain how bosses OF the Boies Penross
type maintain their hold.
A young newspaper man struck WASH
ington not long ago and got on the trail
of a story that led him to the ONCE of
Senator Penrose. But Penrose said he
didn't know anything about the facts
the correspondent wanted
Tive heard OF the matter" he went
On to say. ''and there's a clerk In one
of the Offices about the Capitol here
who knows the whole story. / think IN
ask him to hunt you up and tell you
what he knows. I'm leaving town to-day,
but the first chance have IN ask him
to tell you all about IT.
Hadn't you better make a note Of
it?' suggested the correspondent. du-
biousiy.
''oh no. TIL remember It all right"
said Penrose.
So the newspaper man went his way,
believing that the incident was closed.
Three weeks later a young man came
to his office and said:
You're Mr.. so-and-so aren't your
Senator Penrose stopped me to-day and
asked me II would hunt you up and
tell you the facts about some story you
were interested In"
Penrose had actually carried the thing
around In his head for three weeks un-
til he got chance to keep his promise.
Oscar W. Underwood. Ways and Means
Committee chairman. has a colored door
Keeper who owns and operates the mos.
wonderful smile now extant. The man
does not reserve the smile for state
occasions. either. but bestows II with
great impartiality on all corners, re-
gardless OF political racial, RELIGIOUS,
baseball. or other differences. He smiles
and smiles.
But the other day h. cracked his fir.t
Joke.
A man with a saudy set Of whiskers
desired to see Underwood. but would not
state what his mission was about. In
derwood was busy and could not Civ.
time to visitors who merely came to
discuss current literature or satisfy NOR
bid curiosity
What does tn. man want-' he in
quired
II don't know. sah." replied m. Ger
berus with the gorgeous grin. but I have
an idea he wants to try TO keep whi.kers
Off the free list
THE finest tribute to the American
Indian I know Of is a meeting Of our
committee" remarked a member Of the
Senate Committee on Indian Affairs
Two members of the committee, Sena-
tors Owen and Curtis. are part Indian
And they run things just about to suit
themselves
Senator Gamble, who Is the nominal
head Of the committee up until the ex-
piration OF his term. is a mild hammered
man. Senator Owen Is not. Thus each
has been a good foil for the other at
committee meetings.
The meeting will now stand ad-
1ourned." says Chairman Gamble.
Wen not adjourn until a couple OF
other matters OF mine have been taken
up suggests Owen.
"a motion TO adjourn Will be in or
der" says Gamble later on. after Owen
seems to be through.
Il have one or two matters yet to be
considered" murnurs Owen. in his tense
manner. And he gets 'em considered
When Owen sees everything cleared up
TO his satisfa ctior. he leans back In his
chair and Gamble adjourns the meet
ing.
AS everybody knows, or will know
after they get through reading this IN
teresting little paragraph, Representa-
tive Dick Hobson Is great fellow to get
up In the House and make speeches.
He'll make n speech and then the next
day he'll make another one-and SO on.
Dick returned TO Washington not long
ago, after lecturins tour. and when he
entered the House for the first tirns
since his absence. Representative Tom
Crago OF Pennsylvania turned to Repre-
sentative George White of Ohio and.
says he:
up and makes a speech inside OF five
minutes"
Cut It TO four minutes" says White,
and I'll take the bet"
So Crago took a chance even at four
In exactly three minutes and a half
Hobson arose and submitted some rs-
marks on certain matters appertainins to
naval affairs in this country.
Senator "sawney'' Webb. the Tennessee
and bad boy trainer, who is
n public life until noon. March T. has
made a talk on some temperance or re-
iGious topic in Tennessee cities nearly
every Sunday for the last twenty years
4 friend here asked him the other day
low much such work had paid him
This" replied "Swaney.' holding up q
small pocket knife. That's all I've got
,ut Of It. One day hardware merchant
n Knoxville gave me that at the close
" my lecture. It's all I ever managed TO
,ollect.''
Representative Garland Dupre ~ Lou
siana got request the other day from
l man who desired to get hold of a gov
,rnment work on the subject OF goats.
Dupre got his request mixed up with a
lumber OF others and sent him a copy
" the Congressional Directory.
Senator Ollie James sat down to q big
Inner with a party Of friends the other
lay. looked II over. sighed contentedlv.
ank back into his chair. and remarked
olemnly:
Il certainly do like food
copgnsht. rN3. By Fs~d O Kelly An rsnts -
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