Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1913-03-06

We-all air lOngln 10 mean; uaTe
shakin' Of de soul ovah de mouf Of
hell, mare monin', mare revivals; but
we hilt our peace, an Zion attended
regular, an las socherable gatherin'
there ben nigh hundred, big an
little presint-"
And she gave us all cake and can
dy and lemonade with ice in it," a
woman's mellow voice called out.
The heads of the congregation went
round in the direction Of the voice,
and large number Of rolling black
eyes stared at the school-teacher,
whose comely brown face showed that
deepening of tint which is the same
as an AngloSaxon's blush Teacher"
had been educated at Tuskegee and
was suspected Of being "biggity."
The chairman gave her a gloomy
nod. mo doubt, my sistah. no doubt
hankerin ayfter de fleshpots Of Egypt
done fotch some po' snnahs t de al
tar. l amt complainin' Of de carnil
an carniferous food she done give US.
but of de spitichul nu'ishment. l new
did see a mo'ner rollin' on dis flo
wilst Sist Humphreys ben yere. We
all ben thirstin' an famishin' TO- a
good ol-time revival. But We enjured
ontwel one day de glory come on
Br'er Pope, an he hollered-tryin' to
liz US all up-'Amen! Amen! Let
de sinner quit sinnin' an he shall be
saved!' An dat ar woman she call
out: Yes; let i'm quit sinnin'! Let
i'm quit sellin' Of aigs to de sto' wen
he don't be keepin' only one hen!' Dat
ar remark incinerated false an wick
ed notions bout Unc' Alick Pope. who
lives nigh de cunnel's chicken-yard."
"a solitary giggle from the school
mistress) "She done fa1y r'ar an
charge bout chicken.stealin'. Dat
ain't promote edderticaton nor good
feelin'." (Groans Of assent from a e
deeply interested audience.) But mex
Sabbath come wuss. She done an
nounce she ben 'lowin' to preach us
serious discourse on de Ten Command
mints. Well, we-all done look dem
commandments up an study on dem
heap. We felt tol'able secure on de
Fust an Second, she lumpin' dem to-
gedder TO- one out at preachin'; an
we sat back easy, hopin' TO- grace an
true religion; but she jes slued roun'
onto conjure-cha ms an such, invagin'
agIn' dem twell we got all de devo-
tional feelin' plumb squoze outen US.
Third Commandment We natchelly
didn't expec no harm Of; but ayfter
do
SWARM, eff she didn't git on to false
SWARM befo' the gran jury, bout
crapshootin', en- git us all terrible on
comfortable. Mex command she
didn't ben sound on, sayin' heap
bout washin' up In tubs Satiddy
nights, an tew little bout de spitichul
observation Of the holy day; an come
down hard on respected brother who
sayd once, ! isn't to wash in winter;
an sayd bad wuds bout sisters dat
went visitin' Sattidy evenin's, stidder
washin' up ready TO- de holy day;
sayd some sisters me- did wash de po'
little tricks shirts, jes' taken new
flour-sack an cut holes in 1t. She
talked like dat ontwel 1t ben right
ondeoent and onchristian; an one sis.
ter dat's subjec' to fits providenchelly
done t'rowed on an bruk up de meet
in. But we-all sorter done spunk up
on de Fif' Commandment; looked lax
hit ben sho' HARMLESS; an we done
fotch de chillen to learn deir juty
to deir parents Well, dey sho' got it!
But den she done scorched de par
ents nightly bout de 'zample dey
ben 'bleeged to set de chillen. Dat
ar ben a fearful, sufferin' hour, an /
new did see dis yere congregation 80
dry an havin' to git out de pump 80
often. Dey went by whole families;
an befo' she ben frow mighty nigh
didn't dast let 'em see frow It,"
(Groans all over the house) "She
nigh bust de chu'ch on de Sixth Com
mandmint wild outrageous rema'ks on
razors. An next Sunday comes de
Seventh Commandmint, an we amt
nowise willin' to enjure her handlin'
Of dat, nohow." deep groans of as
sent from brothers and sisters alike.)
Nor de Eight neider." (No, mol"
from the seat Of Uncle Alexander
Pope.) "Wust is, de ongodly outside,
de Methodists an de cullud folks from
de Ridge, Is fxin' to come over an
see we-all ripped up. De chu'ch house
ben plumb full over Sabbath. an we
all don dast stay way. not KNOWN
what scandillous stories will be circu-
lated" ("Dat's sol" "Holp, Lord"
from earnest souls in the audience)
AN de chu'ch Is losin' Of members.
Bruddah Dan Williams done moved
away" Ono, sab, no, he amt; he
ben sent to de pen') II didn't say
how come he moved. Brudder Car
roll; he are gone. Unc Jim Hollis
done 'bandon his crop. Aunt Gale
donia Ray lef' las week count Of in
jurus reflections bout a mince pie
she done mix up by mistake wild de
weeks wash she taken FUN dc big
house. We done pied wild Sist' Hum
phreys to quit; but she won't quit,
Now de question am: How shill we git
saved f'om Sist' Humphreys an git
preacher will preach religion-an'
muffin else?"
Amid a deep hum Of applause Broth
er Morrow sat down. Half dozen
voices begged for attention: but the