Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-20
At the End Of the Rainbow.
GOING BACK HOME.
By WALT MASON.
By WALT MASON.

I'm going back east to the home of
my boyhood for a couple of weeks,
said the assessor, and l am looking for
ward to a very happy time. / haven
been there since life's early morn. when
my bosom was young. and it'll be great
pleasure to talk of Old times with former
friends
IF you'd take the advice of an old
man You wouldn't 80 such fool er-
rand" commented the village patriarch.
There's nothing more Misunderstanding
than going back TO your native village
after long absence. If you make the
trip you'll come back here looking like
| the ruins of Pompeii by moonlight. and
it'll be year before you smile again. l
have been through the mill; / have been
disiIlusioned and my words are sriced
with wisdom Some years ago | made
such a sentimental journey. | hadn
been home to my native village for forty
years. So, having cleaned up some money
on a shipment of hay, l made up my
mind to grid my loins and go back TO the
enchanted land of my youth.
Il got there at night, and the next
morning 1 went around with beaminS
smile inquring for Old friends. l found
one of them running peanut stand on
a street corner. He was a disslpate
relic by the name of Tompkins. L had
looked forward to meeting Tompkins with
great enthusiasm. for he was my Dosotn
friend i'm the dear, dead days. L used
to be very proud of his friendship. He
was the brightest scholar in our school.
In those days people predicted he would
rise to great heights and that perhaps
he'd be President of the United States l
held to that theory strongly myself, ana
i'm after years / used to wonder why
never saw his name in the lists of the
famed and great, but l set it down to his
natural modesty. Well, there he was, the
most gorgeous youth of the country slde.
grown into an abandoned pirate who
wore an old plug hat and sold peanuts
out of a pushcart. You can't know how
much a thing hurts until you run up
against it.
when | was a boy / used to write
poetry about girl whose first name was
Letitia In those days there were many
Letitias and Matildas and Elizabeths.
Parents believed in bestowing safe and
sane names upon their OFFSPRING, ana
when the children grew up they were not
ashamed of their nomenclature. Now
adays girls are called Daisy and Berry,
and Gwendolin. and when they grow old
and fat they'll feel that their names are
ridiculous, and they'll say harsh things
about their parents. If woman mas
disfigured name she S likely to try to live
up to it, | never knew a silly woman
named Elizabeth. But If you give girl a
frivolous name she'll try to lit it,
well, | was deeply in love with the
aforesaid Letitia, and it was because she
turned me down, firmly but respectfully,
that | left that village and went forth
to conquer fame and fortune She was a
beautiful damsel, with hair like the
raven 8 wing and complexion that can
be initiated by the most accomplished
druggist. All the years of my pilgrimage
she was my standard of beauty, and al
though / married many women in the
course of my useful career, LetitiaS pic
ture was framed i'm my heart. If | may
be allowed the expression. One reason
why | revisited the village was that L was
longing to see her once more l pictured
her i'm my mind as stately dame, aged
hut beautiful with snowy hair and gentle
face L seemed to know just how she
years. So l asked old Tompkins where L
could find her, and he gave me directions.
so / set forth for her cottage
ut was an old. tumbledown shack, my
friends. and a prodigiously fat woman
was sitting under a tree by the door
smoking a pipe, it being the balmy sum-
mer time. l wondered that Letitfa would
permit such a gross person to remain on
the premises. 1 approached this repulsive
female and asked if / could see Letitia
You're seeing her now, replied the noun
tain of flesh. And it was true. After
staring for few moments l recognized
her, and, giving groan that rended my
bosom in twain, | fled back to the hotel.
station, taking the first train for home
You'll be up against similar disappoint-
ments and trials if you go back home, my
friend, and the best thing you can do is
to remain here and join in our friendly
game of checkers.