Morris tribune., 1913-08-01
Professor Tweeg,
Claim Jumper
By LAURA COLBY

There are persons who, scorning the
! great problems of the present that are
constantly thrusttng themselves upon
us, must needs be going back not thou
sands but millions of years to a peri
cd when there was not labor union.
a suffragette society or trust, to dig
up the bones of dinosaurs, ichthyo-
sauri and kindred animals. which. in
stead of being as we are today, all
brains and no body, were all body and
no brains.
There was Professor Tweeg of -
university, who had no use for hui
man being who lived on the banks Of
the Nile 5000 years ago, but consider
ed a trilobite of the palaeozoic period
a very interesting creature. And the
university to which he was attached
seemed willing to send him anywhere
he chose to go for the purpose Of dig
ging for bones so old that they are
only fit for paving purposes.
Professor Tweeg was riding about
on such quest over the western
plains mounted on a horse which
should have been more interesting to
him than those of mastodon, from the
fact that his bones were ready for a
glue factory, when he met a girl
in cowboy costume with a rife slung
to the pOmmeI of her saddle and no
end Of cartridges bristling in her belt
"Howdy, stranger" she said:
''GoOd morning." replied the profess
sOr from behind his spectacles
BE you the Teller that jumped the
Darby and Jones cfaim"
"NO.": replied Tweeg I'm the man
to whom it was reported that the bones
Of an extinct animal were buried over
there pOinting). and I've been digging
for them. I'm going there now to con-
tinue my search"
'EWaal, reckon you'd better let the
mis'able buried animal alone and light
out. The owners Of the property air
after you, and if they ketch you they're
likely to make you dance with your
legs too short to reach the ground.
There they come now"
In times OF danger man is expected
to step to the front. But what can be
expected of a fellow who is absorbed
in an age when even stone headed
weapons hadn't been invented? Tweeg
looked so helpless that the girl took
pity on him. ''You come along with
me-" she said. and, turning her horses
head toward gulch in the mountain,
she and the professor FASTENED toward
it, chased by the mounted men. When
they arrived at a defensible position
the girl gave the order to dismount and
got behind powders heaped together
by past foods. Tweeg, approaching
the danger much more readily than
practical disposition. placed himself
beside her
'Whar's yer gunw she asked.
"My pistol? / haven't any arms"
Lord save US! Was you born with
out any brains in yer headY
There was no time to reply to this,
for the men who were after the mine
jumper had dismounted and were adj
vancing on foot. each man with cock
ed rife in his hand. When they came
within range one of them called out:
"Come out O. that"
"You better come and take us OUT
replied the girl.
who are your
I'm Nan Jones'"
'You Nan Jones2 What you dom
with that galoot that was diggin' our
goldY"
Reckon he want after dust"
nIa
he be after?"
There was parley between Nan and
the professor, and it was agreed that
he should explain. Nan exacted a
promise that the miners should hold
off for awhile, and the professor raised
his head above the rocks.
tJtst look at himY' cried one Of his
opponents. Hes got double lights in
his head"
Reckon he's one O. them monkeys
they had in the show that, come along
a spell ago." said another.
my friends" said the professor, 81
had no idea that was jumping your
claim or digging in a mine at all.
was told that peculiar bone was
found on your property and. having ex-
amined it, found it to be of the di-
nosaurian family"
There hain't never been no sich
family buried there the spokesman
shouted II been here forty year and
know what | say"
"Not human family the professor
FASTENED to say. II refer to an animal
| thirty feet long"
''What are you givin' usg'.
Il don't mean that it exists now, but
lived many millions Of years ago"
Expressions OF impotence were
heard coming from the men. and they
showed signs Of ending the parley.
Hes looney. You don't want to KIN
an imbecile. do youg' cried Nam rs
Il assure you." the professor con-
tinued, shat | am in my sober senses.