Semi-weekly herald., 1913-07-21
JOYS OF SLEEPING CAR
TRAVEL SETTING FOR DRAMA

The super heated apex of travel
luxury is called the sleeping car. 1t
is stocked by a black spectator who
tried for a job in a crematory but
overtrained, says the Bellman. His
idea of duty is to fire up until the
passengers scream, and then open the
chimney damper. This insures him
early morning comfort while he is
putting salve on the passengers shoes.
The steam tender is officially known
as the porter-meaning one who ports.
His duties include closing the venti-
lators, sweeping under your feet, max
ing down the bunk when you want
to read, asking you if you rang, and
smiling cheerfully throughout the last
hour of the journey. For this he re-
ceives $22 month and whiskbroom
Denied banking facilities by the
exigencies of travel, the whiskbroom
constitutes the financial system of the
esteemed porter. By its aid he lays
and collects taxes, extracts currency
and presents arrival drafts. So eff
cient is it that low grade ore as
saying no more than fifteen cents per
two hundred pounds has been made
to produce as high as fifty cents and
a cry Of distress, while a gold bear
ing stateroom pocket frequently yields
50 for a forgotten umbrella.
Without the whiskbroom the porter
would be rudderless in a green plush
ocean. He would no more be able to
port than he would be to starboard
AS the furnace is his pillar of fire by
night, so is the broom his pillar of
cloud by day. With it he can, in any
hour of the twenty-four, unerringly
navigate the carved mahogany wastes,
while holding no fear of the resound-
ing caves of sleepers on either green
walled sore. Well does he know that
within those airless depths lies unre-
posing the sum and substance of a
colored gentleman's needs, and that in
the silvery light of tomorrow's morn
them thah sums will be his'n.
All hail, then, the morn, when the
trombone notes of the sleepers yield
to the sharp staccato of the humping
heads of the walkers; when the fretful
surge of the green pillows betokens
that the cavemen are soon to be awash
on the shores of the nickel plated
sauce dishes at the head of the tur-
bulent bay and polished shoes adrift
in the aisle
Some day great play will be
staged wherein at least one act will
take place in the smoking compart-
ment of a sleeping car. That is what
will make the play great. 1t will be a
simple little thing, but its very sim
plicity will make the critics cry. A
piano box will be the setting and
within it eight strong men will be
shown washing themselves at three
bonbon nappies, while two others
shave themselves and a pale youth in
pink striped pajamas inhales his ma
tutinal cigarette. The emotional eli
max will be reached when the ten
men fall upon the youth and kill him
and therein the stage will have served
useful purpose, for there are far
too few such murtherings and the pub
lie interest should be stimulated and
encouraged.
Do you recall when you used to go
down to the depot to see No. 6 whis-
tie through town And do you re-
call the envy that tortured your soul
as you saw the eyes of wealth and
leisure patronize you through the win
dows of the Pullman car? You have
the same feeling row when you look
at the pictures in the advertisements,
with the esteemed porter standing at
attention and six cloak models waving
their hands from the platform of the
open faced car at the end of the train.
It is all so pretty and clean and tempt
ing in the pictures, and so like those
visions of your early days.
You have the same feeling, but the
soul tortures are not so keen. For
now you are older and you have met
the grill tender on MANY occasions,
you have washed for high neck on
many morning. you have tossed
through the endless hours of your
thousand and one night. You have
the same yenrning. but you have it
under better control. You have con-
cuered and subdued it. You envv
the wealth and leisure aboard No. G.
but you know that they envy you
more.