Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-18

less he wanted to, because the story
was no secret, fixed his eyes upon the
landlords, and proceeded:
The Story of the Basman's Uncle
My uncle, gentlemen, was one of the
merriest, pleasantest cleverest Fellows
that ever lived. wish you had known
him, gentlemen. On second thoughts,
gentlemen, / don't wish you had known
him, for II you had you would have
been all by this time in the ordinary
course of nature, If not dead, at all
events so near 1t, as to have taken to
stopping at home and giving US COM
pany, which would have deprived me
of the inestimable pleasure Of address
ing you at this moment Gentlemen,
wish your fathers and mothers had
known my uncle. They would have
been amazingly fond Of him, especial
ly your respectable mothers, know
they would. II any two Of his numer-
Gus virtues predominated over the
many that adorned his character, /
should say they were his mixed punch
and his after-supper song. Excuse my
dwelling upon these melancholy recol-
lections of departed worth; you won't
see q man like my uncle every day In
the week.
/ have always considered it great
point In my uncle's character, gentle
men, that he was the intimate friend
and companion of Tom Smart, OF the
great house of Bilson and Slum, Cat
cation street, City. My uncle collect
ed for Tiggin and Welps. but for a
long time he went pretty near the
same journey as Tom; and the very
first night they met, my uncle took
o., fanny
for my uncle. They made bet OF
new hat before they had known each
other half an hour, who should brew
the best quart Of punch and drink 1t
the quickest. Ny uncle was judged to
have won the making, but Tom Smart
beat him In the drinking by about
half a salt spoonful. They took an
other quart apiece to drink each
others health in, and were stanch
friends ever afterward. There's a des-
tiny in these things, gentlemen; we
can't help It.
In personal appearance, my uncle
was a trifle shorter than the middle
size; he was thought stouter too,
than the ordinary run OF people, and
perhaps his face might be q shade
redder. He had the jolliest face you
ever saw, gentlemen; something like
Punch, with q handsomer nose and
chin; his eyes were always twinkl1ng
and sparkling with good humor, and
smile-not one Of your unmeaning
wooden grins, but a real, merry, hearty
good-tempered smile, was perpetu-
ally on his countenance. He was pitch
ed out Of his gig once, and knocked
head first against milestone. There
he lay, and l have heard my uncle say
many a time that the man said who
LII. IT, hot hn q
merrily as If he had tumbled out for
a treat, and that after they had bled
him, the first faint glimmerings Of re-
turning animation were, his jumping
up in bed, bursting into a loud laugh,
kissing the young woman who held
the basin, and demanding a mutton
chop and a picked walnut instantly.
He was very fond Of picked walnuts,
gentlemen. He said he always found
that, taken without vinegar, they rel
ished the beer.
My uncle's great journey was in the
fall Of the leaf, at which time he COL
lected debts and took orders in the
north: going from London to Edin-
burgh, from Edinburgh to Glasgow,
from Glasgow back to Edinburgh and
thence to London by the smack. You
are to understand that this second
visit to Edinburgh was for his own
pleasure. He used to go back for a
week, just to look up his old friends;
and what with breakfasting with this
one, and lunching with that, and din
ing with a third, and supping with an
other, q pretty tight week he used to
make of 1t. I don't know whether any
Of you, gentlemen, ever partook OF q
real substantial hospital Scotch break
fast and then went out to slight lunch
80 h,,o hal nf q dozen
of bottled ale, and noggin or two OF
whisky to close up with. II you ever
did, you will agree with me that 1t
requires a pretty strong head to go
out to dinner and supper afterwards.
But, bless your heart and eyebrows,
all this sort of thing was nothing to
my uncle. He was so we'll seasoned
that it was mere child's play. / have
heard him say that he could see the
Dundee people out any day, and walk
home afterwards without staggering;
and yet the Dundee people have as
strong heads and as strong punch,
gentlemen, as you are likely to meet
with, between the poles. l have heard
of a Glasgow man and a Dundee man
drinking against each other for fifteen
hours at a sitting. They were both
suffocated as nearly as could be as
certained at the same moment but
with this trifiing exception, gentlemen
they were not a bit the worse for 1t.
One night, within four-and-twenty
hours Of the time when he had settled
to take shipping for London, my uncle
supped at the house Of a very Ole
friend of hts, Baillie Mac something
and four syllables after 1t, who lived In
the old town of Edinburgh. There
were the baillie's wife, and the bail
lies three daughters, and the baillie' {
grown-up son, and three or four stout
bushy eye-browed, canty o'd Scotcf
fellows that the baillie had got togeth-
er to do honor to my uncle, and hel[
to make merry. 1t was a glorious sup.
per. There was kippered salmon, ano
Finman haddocks, and lambs head
and a haggis; a celebrated Scotch dish
gentlemen, which my uncle used to say
always looked to him, when 1t came tc
table, very much like a cupid's stom-
ach: and a great many other things
besides, that l forget the names OF, bu,
very good things Notwithstanding. The
lassies were pretty and agreeable; the
baiElie's wife one Of the best creatures
that ever lived; and my uncle ir
thoroughly good cue the consequence
of which was, that the young ladies
Uttered and giggled, and the old lady
laughed out loud, and the baillie anC
the other old fellows roared till they
were red in the face, the whole morta
time I don't quite recollect how many
tumblers of whisky toddy each mar
drank after supper, but this l know
that about o'clock in the morning the
baillie's grownup son became insensi'
u,bi1a ottenntinp the first verse O