davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
TWO RIDES FOR A NICKEL

bill railways New
the
nickel
We
heard going broke
getting children
bnefaries of its bounty who
profitable would
railway fight
land that carried street less than the usual
reasonable
for capital actually invested.
The difficulties Cleveland than
city All need do pull the rate out the
and require honest bookkeeping
Cleveland well the rides nickel all
with likewise especially with
state help
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Take it from me. there will be Ipies

Take it from me, there will be
no traffic of ocean-going craft
through the isthmus for many
moons to come. The six million
cubic yards of material that re-
Gently avalanched from the mac
Grated side of the big groove is
but an infinitesimal fraction of
that which is to come. The
greater portion of the hill itself
must be removed from both sides
or a massive retaining wall con-
structed to prevent innumerable
repetitions and endless, conse-
quent disaster. The most optim-
istic employe on the works does
not expect to see the canal in
operation for a year at least.
Both Colon and Panama City
swarm with a species of funny
little quadrupeds which the ma
tive unblushingly terms a horse.
AS a matter of fact, it does look
like a horse in the same manner
that a three-inch lizard resembles
d IullgFOWn allSatOr.
| Ranged alongside of an ordi-
nary Shetland pony, the Pana-
manian cayuse would be about as
imposing by comparison as a Mex
lean burro aligned with a masto-
don.
But he Is a busy and an am
bilious little beast and very pa
tent withall. He joys about the
streets, up hill and down, singly
and in pairs, and drags behind
him passenger vehicle of dimen-
sions quite sufficient to stable
him with comfort and every con-
venience for light housekeeping.
In this four-wheeler one may ride
to any point within the city limits
for the moderate sum of 10 cents
(gold) or 20 cents in the cion of
the realm.
But it is as an auxiliary of the
amounted police" that this iilipu-
tan charger rises to his greatest
height and most impressive dig
nifty. In this capacity he is in
deed an animal to be esteemed
with due and proper veneration.
."Noisy John" has resided ex-
clusively in his present quarters
for upward of seven years, ac-
cording to the unanimous assur-
ances of his immediate neighbors.
The word exclusively in this case
is intended to be taken literally
and in its fullest sense. In other
words, John has never come out
of his present quarters since the
day that he first went in.
If sworn statements may be re-
lied upon, John is by no means
the least remarkable Of the mira
cles of the zone. His habitation
is an unassuming affair, con-
structed, without inordinate sub
servience to the dictates of archi-
tectural modes, of three battered
sheets of corrugated iron roofing
cunningly reared and overlapped
in manner to admit of abundant
ventilation and still exclude the
hot noon sun and portion of the
frequent rain.
From this simple abode,
perched high above the swarming
herd of delving Iaborers, creak-
ing, straining derricks, grooming
steam shovels. shrieking engines
and decorating blasts, "Noisy
John" has watched in silence for
seven years. No man has heard
him speak, no man has seen him
forage for food and, IL he has
eaten, the eye of man has not de-
tected him in the act. So they
call him ..Noisy john"
Some say that John committed
grieyous sin in the land of pop
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
And He Can, Too.

Jack-How are you going to
spend next summer?
Toni am going to spend it
travelling from one seaside place
to another until l find girl
worth a million or two who
wants to be loved and married
for herself.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

Editors NOte-Cartonist Cory
and uncle bud" have arrived at
the big Ditch" Their stories
and pictures of human life and
affairs on the Panama canal will
hereafter be frequent features in
the Times.)
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
1t All Depends,

Don't you think it would be
a good thing if our legislators
were limited to one term?"
1T would depend on where the
term was to be served. "-Chicago
Record Herald.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Going the Pace.

First Motorist-What is the
name of this cemetery we are
passing?
Second Motorist-That's not a
cemetery, my dear boy. These
are milestones.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
MARTYRS OF INDUSTRY

Window
The broke wild and work
menwe killed the repor
they only by
csed them No handing of their fame down
the
left without pporthe weeping wives the orphaned penne chill
Yet died in service Died rave soldiers die famous
while killing other the
boasted prosperity prosperity in which they had only small share
them
the machines To society large which used the product of their
weep hungry
at OF
working
with delay.
OF unkn ndeadcr out for justice.
There certainly advantage in Yale
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
His Mistake,

First Straphanger..Sir, you
have your hand in my pocket.
Second Ditto (evidently mar
ried)-Oh, pardon me! l was
wondering how l came to have
all that loose change.-Boston
Transcript.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

The remedies we use are obso-
lutely non poisonous and positively
DO not contain mercury.
II unable TO call personally. seno
&c stamp for diagnosis blank.
N. VOW CHINESE MEDICINE CO.
II40M Pacific nv. Phone
I14SH comnnerce st. Main Sass
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Mexican citizens cheering the u. S

flag must have caused shudders of hor-
ror to those syndicate fellows who want
Uncle Sam to shoot up Mexico in behalf
of their "vested interests
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
More sorrow for Grandpa Melyill,

Stone! Arkansas assembly has passed
"a law declaring the Associated Press a
public utility and requiring it to fur
nish its service to all newspapers at uni
form rates.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
The vacant churches in Tacoma indi

cate that either the congregations do
not support their preachers very well
or else the ministers are so good bigger
cities grab them.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Still Raging.

miss Lingerlong ought to be
an easy catch for some one."
Easy catch? Why, she has
been a regular epidemic for the
last 10 years! "-Algernon Ca
zette.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Her Reason.

Bessie-Did you scream when
he tried to kiss you?
Jessie-No; there is poor
man across the street who is
dreadfully sicd.-Philadelphia
Telegraph.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
If the police keep up their gait grab

bing auto speeders at the rate of yes
terday it will be worth $136,875 this
year to the city exchequer and the bud
get deficit will be taken care Of nicely.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

Now that the city commission has dis
covered it can sell bonds to the state,
possibly it will go step further and
see if it can sell bonds to the citizens of
Tacoma.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

Lloyd George must begin to feel
bored over the attentions paid him by
the ladies.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
LET'S SMILE AWHILE
Ouch.

Ouch.
The fat man pulled up to the
window of the ticket office. He
looked at the clock and saw that
it was 2:31.
"HaveI time to catch the $3.50
train?" he gasped.
you have time" smiled the
ticket agent. But l don't think
you have the speed. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Finished,

"She says she went abroad to
finish her education. / wonder
If she learned much"
"She told me she had six new
ways to fix her hair"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Beautiful mild winter back east. o

yes! and about June l they'll be howl
ing for the moving pictures to give 'em
view of the early spring robin.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
All Over.

We'll, dear, guess the honey
moon is over"
"Why do you say that?" pouted
his bride.
1--WE been taking stock and
find I'm down to $2.65."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
Reported that Woodrow's inaugural

speech is to be 1000 words long, and we
had so strongly hoped that he would
confine it to smuch Obliged"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
There is pretty general unanimity of

opinion on one proposition at least
The United States ought to own Mexi-
CO.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
She Knew.

Father - Katherine, I wish
you'd ask that young Mr.. Spoon
er why he doesn't go home ear
lier.
Daughter-But, papa, 1 know
why he doesn't already.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25
There is certainly an advantage

living by the side of the peaceful Ca
muck rather than the fiery Mex.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

Too bad that Pauline Wayne, the
White House COW, cant follow Bill to
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

MEMBER OF THE SCRIPTS NORTHWEST
LEAGUE OF NEWSPAPERS. Telegraph News
services ef the United Pres. Association By direct
Leased Wire.
Battered at the postofnee, Tacoma, wash.,
second-elass matter. Published by the Tacoma
Times Pub Co. Every Evening Except Sunday.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

BY the use OF medic
inal herbs and roots
known for their re-
markable cures In
China, We are able
to absolutely cure
such ailments as
Catarrh, Deafness,
Asthma. Skin Dis
eases, Rheumatism.
Appendicitis, Heart
Trouble. Kidney
nAA
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

Yale. Must be an awful drop from
Pauline to condensed milk.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-02-25

"Beeleysport seems to have been
plunged into a era of extravaganza
by it's city dads. TIL budget for
1913 has been set at SSs2.45."
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29

and at once at Albany -one, agreeable to one Interpretation, the Ta1nmany; the other agreeable to another interpretation, the -Taminaiiy; either interpretation plausible.
 The impeachment of Governor, even of the Governor of the Empire State, need not necessarily be matter of much importance to the Socialist, or the Work ing Class in general The impeachment might be the result of one of the numer- ous clashes ofpolitical opinion, pushed to all acute stage by the scorching breath of bourgeois competition. The impeachment might even disclose bourgeois curruption; but that would furnish only cumulative evidence of what already is supernatural antly known by everybody, That which deeply interests the Socialist i'll the event at Albany, and raises the same to the dig nifty of an Event, is the spectacle and proof of the Political State on the rocks the Empire State, as becomes her pre-em- thence, furnishing the stage. Weekly People,
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
THERE'S A REASON FOR
 HE ALASKA SULiALIST
(Continued from Page l

subscribing themselves, but by getting others to subscribe. We have hxed the price so low that every one Who Is in- terested i'll Socialism can anord to suD-- scribe
 We have delayed in starting for various reasons and part o1 our outnt has not been received yet.
 The only trouble thatwe nave had WAS i'll finding a suitable nalne TOT the paper, some wanted to call II one tnlng and some another, and 1t seemed as Ii there was going to be roughnouse. At last a conference of our reportorlal stdii was called, which consists ot two cA-dcteGtlvee, one ex-preacher, one acuve poiluclan and few work1ngnln. line two ex- spies, true to their former tralnlng and the environment III when they ndu Deen raised, wanted to call IL lhe heyhoIe Reporter" but the eX-preacAer ileIu that such a name would Corropl Ine morals ot the young; besides some oI the local lawyers, and that their were enough key hole reporters i'll Alaska already and es- pecially i'll Fairbanks and that such a name would be of no use 10 the working class, and it was so ordered
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
JUDGE OBEYS TIE VOICE OF
 HIS MASTER

CALUMET, Mich. Sept. 24--The striking copper miners and their families residing throughout this region have been enjoined from parading the streets or gathering iu public places while the strike is on.
 The workers also have been restrained from stationing pickets about the mines or interfering i'll anyway with the men who have taken their places in the mines. Fairbanks Daily Times.
 The above shows that it is just as easy for the bosses to get injunctions under the Democratic administration of Wood row Wilson and Bill Bryan as under the Taft and Roosevelt administrations, q club feels just as hard under Woodrow Wilson as under Bill Taft.
 The grub Is soaring out of sight;
 And clotlling's extra high; And house rents upwards take their
 course and to the heavens fly, While wages take the toboggan route,
 and downward, down they go; So workingmen, when winter comes,
 may have to live OH snow. For some stand pat for the Democrat, And some for the c. o. F.; But both will use the riot gun Whenever 1t pleases me
 Or split their force in the great sham
 fight,
 For none understand the game; 50 whichever wins of the faithful twins, poodle just the same.
 They cast their vote for the twelve hour
 boss,
 And strike for an eight hour day. Which cheers me so that l overflow With nirth and reduce thelr pay. They strike like fools and they vote
 like mules,
 And land i'll the big bull pen; Hence 1 laugh 'Ha! Ha! out ny in
 terestS are
 The same ss the workingn eli.
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
THE IMPEACHMENT
 OF GOV. SUIzER

many) Committee Is, while not imposs ble, yet unlikely. The suspicion that the Frawley disclosures are fraudulental half-truths receives strong confirmation from the records of the Tammany legis- lators and place men at Albany, some of whom have convict records
 What then can the purpose of these gen try be i'll starting impeachment proceed irgs that, in all likelihood, will fail through, aud bring only ridicule and dis grace to the inlpeachers? The answer is found III the interpretation that the lead CTS of the Impeachment move put upon certain clauses of tha State Constitution.
 According to tl1eir interpretation, tue mere act of inpeaching the Governor suspends him, vacates his seat, pernlan- ently, If he Is convicted or temporarily, if facqnitteo. The e1nmediate consequence of this Interpretation would be the i'm mediate occupation of the gubernatorial chair by the Tammany Lieutenant Gov ernor, Martin H, Glynn; and, in the in- toXication of their glee, some of the in- d;screeter Tammany i1npeachers have al- lowed their interpretations rapidly-to- follow consequences to leak out---hrst, the recommendation to the Legislature by the then Gov. Glynn that 1t repeal the Moreland act; secondly, the immediate and glad acquiescene by the Legis- lature; and, last, but not least, in- deed, the real purpose ill mind, the dropping of investigator Hennessey's head into the basket The Moreland act being out of the way, the Governor S ac- quitta1 and re-installation, tho not de- sirable, would be imnlateria1-- -Hennessv's S Investigating head could not be restored to him, and the lid will remain tight on the Department of Efficiency and Econ only. In short, the solemn machinery of impeachment is put in motion, not in order to cleanse the gubernatoria1 chair, but to side-tracIS tAe incumbent long enough to enable the Lieutenant Cover nor, in conjunctioh with the Legislature, to strike off the statute book all act by virtue of which light threatens a pecul- iarlv dark corner of Tammany.
 Nor yet is the event at Albany un- yelled Ill all its instructive ful1ness.
 The present Constitution of the State is the handiwork of the States and na- ton $ leading lawyers. Joseph H. Choate, siuce then American Ambassador to Great Britain, was member of the Con stitutional Convention that framed the present constitution, Ellhu Root, since then Federal Secretary of State and now senior Senator from New York, was it's chairman And yet, convention largely composed of such legal luminaries Ill the bourgeois Armament of the land framed Stata Constitution whose knock -kneed clauses are giving room tor the spectacle of two Governors sitting simultaneously
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
THE DEATH
 OF BEBEL.
(continued from Page ID

Bismarck, with all the power of the German State behind him. tried hard to stop Socialism, but it was a movement that not even Bismarck could handle.
 All the plotting and planning that ac- cumulated i'll the fertile brain of that master hand at plotting could not stop that quartet from carrying on the propa- ganda of the movement that, in every part of the civilizeil world today, is shak- ing the very foundations of the capitalist system.
 Altfloug Bebel was old and feeble yet he intended to take part in the Socialist Congress to be held at Jena, i'll Septe1n- Der of this year.
 We close the article on Rebel by quot ing from the Weekly People: At the Bier of Rebel,
 With the passing away of August Rebel there has passed away at once a pro- duct of the world-encirc1iug Socialist Movement, and one who, i'll turn has contributed nightly by precept and ex- ample to impart tone, character and di- rection to the Movement.
 While in many a respect the persona1i- ties of George Washington and August Bebel offer the theme for a contrast, in more important ones they singularly present the theme for parallel.
 Like Washington, Bebel's first appear ance upon the public stage was rather i'll the opposite direction Ill which he has become immortal.
 Like Washington, Bebe1's integrity of purpose and 1oftiness of ideals pre- served him from the lures of immediate and easy distinction, and led him to and on the path which he grew to be maker of history, and the marker of an epoch
 Like Washington, Bebel' personal lov- ableness of temperament grappled to him the numerous conflicting streams, inseparab1e from all revolutionary move ments, and strongly pronounced in the Movement, which he pioneered and led; and hls life lasted long enough to keep these streams from flashing destructively against one another, long enough until, their sharp edges being worn out, they might flow together to their common goal.
 Like Washington, Bebel's memory is the cherished inheritance of his people, his people being, ill keeping with the broader Movement, not the people of one nationality only, but fhe peoples of that wider nationality that is rising, and over the cradle of which the sun never sets, the International Socialist Nation,
 In bidding adieu to August Bebel, the Socialists of America joins her sister Socialist organizations the world around ill folding all the closer to our heart the mighty spirit of the departed Conrade, Leader and Inspirer.
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
TIE EXpEDIENCY
 OF JUSTICE TODAY


 Scene: Court room, a suit for divorce being tried, the lawyers are sitting around chewing tobacco and the judge snoring.
 Counsel: Call Jennie Slnilh to the stand. y Jennie Smith takes the stand.
 Counsel What is your na1ne?'
 Opposing Counsel Objection, if the Court please, counsel is calling for con- clusion of the witness. It hasn't been shown that the witness has name'
 Court: Objection sustained
 Counsel Have you name?
 Opposing Counsel Objection, if the Court please, the question is leading and suggestive,
 Court: Objection sustained" / Counsel: What are you generally ca1led?''
 Opposing Counsel: Objection, if the Court please. There s no evidence before the court that witness has ever been called,
 Court: Objection sustained. '"
 The awyers eye one another, the Courts head drops back and he soon be- gins to snore again. - Counsel seems to get a new idea and again the following questions are pnt:
 Are you married or single?"
 Opposing Counsel: Objection, if the Court please, the question will tend to embarrass the witness and the marriage certificate is the best evidence
 Coansel: Do you live with a man who is reputed to be your husband?" Opposing Counsel: Objection if the Court please, the question is irrelevant, incompetent, and 1t is imnlaterial who the witness lives with. " Counsel: 'Is it true that you live in Henry Smiths house?'
 Opposing Counsel: 1.-the Court please, the house is the best evidence. Counsel: Is William Smith your son?"
 Opposing Counsel: Objection, if the Court please, the question will confuse the witness, besides rehecting on her moral character and also in sinuates that William Smith is not the son of this wonlrn. Court: Objection sustained '" Counsel takes exception to the ruling of the court and puts the same question. After heated aitercation lasting about three hours over the admisibility of cer- tain evidence in which the lawyers shake their fists Ill one another faces and one of them makes motion to be allowed to file plea of abatement, Court adjourns until the holidays and hot weather are over.
 Five minutes later the lawyers are sitting with their heads together com 1
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29

\ great event IS OH the stage at Albany The title given it is The Impeachment Of the Governor of the Empire State /" The title is nlisleadingly inadequate It should be merely more pregnant mat ter than the title denotes.
 A regulation poloticians' shindy had been going on between TaTnmany Hall and William Sulzer since the laher's in- auGaration as@zGovernor. Tlie contend ing parties ,nanoeuvrcd for position with an eye to the immediately following elections The trenches thrown up by the Governor were not i'll chosen: they ran alongsthe lines of Statewide prinl- aries: the success of the 1nanoeuver would stripsthes 'Tarnnlalv-r State Conven- tons Of the despotic power that they in common with all other purely political party conventions, enjoy of dictating the ticket to the unorganized but by far more numerous supporters of such parties at the hust;ngs. Tamnlany realized the danger to itself, and characteristically threw up its trenches along the lines of nlysti6cation the alleged sacro- -sanct- ness of conventions.
 In tles.strugg1e, Ta1nnany had the ad- vantage: ! it Sowned the Lesislature: it voted down the Sulzer primary proposi- tions, andswhen the Governor called the Legislature i'll special session to recon s;der5tf1e bill, the Legislature re-voted 1t down. So far Tammany held the fort, with what looked like all impregnable position. The Governor fankel the same
 There is all election for Asse1nblynlen this November; next year Senators also are to be elected. The agitation, conduc- ted i'll the meanwhile ill favor of the Statewide primary, might, or might not, wrench the Legislature from Tamnlany; sc3ndalous disclosures, however, of Tam many corruption III State Department surely would The Governor moved i'll that direction. The Moreland act of It-ellLdllHlEllItllId dlIOfNSttd q GdlCN1LlGdnS to this end The act authorizes the Ex- ccutive to institute special Investigations Of State Departments. Accordingly, w!Iile.. the Talnnany Legislature was in ,vestigating the Governor, the Governor started q bacE-ire investigation by ap- pointing his principal lieutenant, John 4. Hennessey, to investigate the newly established and Tamnlary-run Depart nent of Efficiency and Economy. To raise the lid from that Department was a thrust aimed at Tanmany's vitals. How avert 1t?
 William Sulzer is no better than the runof' of';politicians perhapswcrse than some moreover lie is all intellectual feather weight. All that notwithstanding, that he should have committed so scatter brairedly, the acts of corruption that he is charged witi1 by the Fraw1es- (I'atn-
The Alaska socialist., 1913-09-29
Foolish Young Man

The young man who was recently found guilty for embedding the funds of corporation should have gone into the banking business -rairbanks.
 If he had, it can be safely asseft-d in the light of past events, that no felons garb would nave adorned his person