davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
What She Wanted

Matrimonial Agent-What kind Of a
husband do you want?
Girl-One who doesn't smoke, drink
or swear, who brings me chocolates
and takes me to theaters and restau-
rants every day.
Matrimonial Agent--You don't want
a husband. What you want is beau.
Judge.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Mr.. WlnkIe,s House to Go.

Two buildings in Birmingham asso
sociated with Dickens have been de-
molished, and third, Mr.. Winkle s
house, is being pulled down.
When Mr.. Pickwick asked the wait.
er at the Old Royal where Mr.. Winkle
lived he replied: Close by, sir; not
above 500 yards, sir. Mr.. Wrinkle is a
wharhnger, sir, at the canal, sir" And
Mr.. Pickwick found in "a quiet, sub
stantial looking street stood an old
red brick house with three steps be-
fore it, bearing, in fat Roman capitals,
the words, Mr. Winkle.' Pail Mall
Gazette.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

The doors of a certain new house
had shrunk horribly, as is the way
Of the modern door made OF unsear
soned wood and left TO shrink In
use. The builder would not send the
joiner to replace them. So the
householder tried the ironclad meth
cd and wrote:
Dear Sir: The mice can run un-
der most of our doors, but our cat
cannot follow them. win you please
send a man at once to make room un.
der the doors for the cat. and much
oblige?"
Next day the joiners came.-Man-
chester Guardian.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Tack Hammer for Surgeons.

Scientific hammering of the spina
column, technically known as spondy
lotherapy, is one Of the latest treat
ments to be adopted by members Of
the Philadelphia medical profession.
1t consists of tapping certain por
tions Of the spine for patients suffer
ing with heart, lung, stomach. and
liver trouble.
The "tack-hammer treatment" was
discovered by DR.. Albert Abrams, a
nerve specialist Of San Francisco
Philadelphia Dispatch to the New
York American,
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

and to seek the surgeons aid prompt
ly when it is discovered.
The new organization, it is under
stood, will follow the lines of the Ma
tional Association for the Study and
Prevention of tuberculosis, through
whose activities more than 100000
lives have been saved in 10 years.
The campaign of education will in.
clude the publication Of articles in
newspapers and magazines distribu-
tion OF pamphlets, special instruction
in training schools for nurses and lee
lures before women's clubs.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Cast Iron Can Be Bent.

Few mechanics know that cast iron
can be bent or Strengthened" says
Popular Mechanics, "as the case may
be- For example, take piece Of fiat
cast iron, place 1t on a level, solid sur
face and strike it lightly with bali
peen hammer. If this simple expert.
ment is tried, it will be found, to the
surprise of the experimenter. that
metal Of this kind readily yields to the
light blows of a hammer. Do not strike
hard enough to break or crack the
casting"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

vegetables in my lap and was enjoying
myself in great shape, far from the
maddening crowd, for my wife had
some swell callers.
All Of sudden l heard woman's
voice say:
Oh, must see your cute little
back yard; I've heard so much about
it,
Then the window flew open and
out popped two pretty heads.
Il turned mine away, and my wife
was equal to the occasion.
Nike she said, you must remem-
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
BOTH HAD PRESENCE OF MIND
Husband and Wife Fully Equal to Oc-
casion When a Contretemps
Was Threatened.

do you know, sir" began the COM
muter, Il would rather shell green
peas than do almost anything else?
My wife says that it demoralizes the
servants to have me do it, but Pm not
living for the servants.
THE other day / sat down on our
back porch with pan of my favorite
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
campaIan Aaalnet Cancer.

Physicians and laymen who propose
the formation of national organiza-
tion to make fight against cancer
need no argument to win general fa-
vor for their plan, save the mere fact
that more than $4,000 persons die Of
that dread disease annually in this
country.
There is no known cure" says Dr.
Cleveland. except surgery, applied in
the earlier stages"
Consequently, the people must be
taught to recognize incipient cancer
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

Seven years ago New York real
estate operator left $4,000 to "the
cause of charity" Recently the court
decided the will valid, but now there
is no estate to distribute-the law
yers have it. The purpose Of the will
has been accomplished.--New York
Herald.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
BLACK Soldiers Of France.

AT the national review on July IA
Paris may see the black soldiery Of
France for the first time. In six
years France has raised a black
army Of practically 100000 and it il
now proposed that each section-the
Senegalese the Madagascar troopa
and others-shan send a delegation.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Old Maids Idea.

DO you" he asked, believe in
early marriages"
We'll, " she|replied, Il used to, but
| am willing to say that at present |
believe better late than never may
be applied to marriage as well as to
some other things"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Correct.

"Hey!" yelled the guest. You ad-
vertise hot and cold water in this
dump, and all I have in my room
is pitcher and wash 5asin."
That's right" replied the landlord.
IF you stay here long enough you'll
find the water is hot in summer and
cold in winter"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
WOMAN COULD
NOT WALK
She Was So IIl-Restored to
Health by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound.
Pentwater, Mich. "a year ago I was
very weak and the doctor said / had .

s erlouS s ulsplace-
ment. / had back
ache aud be caring
down pains so bad
that / could not sit
in a chair or walk
across the floor and
/ was in severe pain
all the time. / felt
discouraged as l had
taken everything I
could think of and
was no better. I
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

Der to NOW the lawn before Mr.. Nut
Icy comes home
'Yis.' l replied, trying to put in a
little foreign accent; and all was
we'll"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
ExnIalned.

The Venus Of Milo explained.
Il was trying to make myself into
a cubist effect" she said.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
Important News.

From well authenticated sources,
says writer in Lippincott's, we learn
that the sultan Of Turkey does not
care for the tune, Onward, Christian
Soldiers
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
"At Homen DAYS.

Edith and Jack were at a loss for
a game.
Let's play at being at home and
have a day said Edith.
3" A day." asked Jack. What doea
that mean?'
why, don't you know?" said Edith
wisely. "All fashionable people have
days. Gods day is Sunday and moth
ers is Tuesday"
Some men SHOW good judgment by
showing a lack Of self-confidence.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

In the Grand stand.
Papa, what is the umpire saying?'
Heaven only knows, child; he's an
nouncing the batteries"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

CLdDie NOiIlpOu anu uOW ain SLTOuk
and healthy. Mrs. ALICE DARLING,
RID. No. 2, Box n, Pentwater, Mich
Read NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. says:
Peoria, Ill.-"I had such backaches
that could hardly stand on my feet. I
would feel like crying out lots Of times,
and had such heavy feeling in my right
side. had such terrible dull headaches
every day and they would make me feel
so drowsy and sleepy all the time, yet
could not sleep at night.
"After had taken Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound week began to
improve. My backache was less and
that heavy feeling in my side went
away. / continued to take the Com
pound and am cured.
'You may publish this if you wish. 70
Miss CLARA L. GAUWITz, R.R. No. 4
Box 62, Peoria, Ill.
Such letters prove the value of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for
woman's ills. Why don't you try it2
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
No Work for Him.

BILL hear Gill is looking for work
Jill-No, he's not. He's trying to get
a political job.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06

began taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and now l am strong
and healthy. Mrs. ALICE DARLING,
RID. No. 2, Box n, Pentwater, Mich
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-06-06
HARoLn EcNsKs. 100 DsKSlb Ave. IrVskIgz, n.

RNNRFa his money az homo in Cparo aipne mall
M4MK Ing circulars Sand lUc mo stsnpgl for
Atss NAAN1 list OF firms wasting circulars mailed.
and inAtSCotiCnA. L. ". RNEPPsk hElLNILR iLLIHOKa
yFAETRD-Every lady TO try or rev "Reausv
IreAtmsn:," HGALlpB Liquid Powder and Oreaus
burpr9ins results Trial size ono diIcs, ARsnta
wanted. ". H. hAsc0CK CoErkN1, Orand Rapids Hisk
w. N. u. FORT WAYNE, NO. %, 1s1a
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

he met Mrs Washburne starting out
on hers. She had the dog along on
his leash. The major was haltlng and
raising his hat when the poodle made
a half-circuit around a l9mp-pOst 10
take him 81 rear and BIT him on that
same les bite number three!
II was taking a d.abolical adyan-
tage. There were pedestrians There
was a cop across the street There
vas an ash cart man grinuing and
waiting. II waf worse than the re-
treat from first Bull Run, but the ma
ior made &c IN good shape.
Il hope you are not going to com
plain Of little think like that call
ed the widow after him as he limped
away but he had no grape-shot to
fire I'm reply
Mrs Sherman was called up for the
third time There were the bites
One-two three and there was the
major His trunk was open and ready
TO be packed He was not excited.
but stern He was not yacilatlng, but
determined
lie pointed to the bites and grimly
said Which the major OF the
dog?'
Then Mrs. Sherman sat down and
sobbed and fobbed II the major de-
parted who would there be TO tell war
stories 10 make them shudder No
ono They must put W with the
common. everyday murders found IN
presg.
He always had a hard-bolled egg
with his breakfast Who would eat
that egg now
Twice week he was out tn mid
night a. bis lodge when he came
home be would always stumble on
The stairs Who would stumble now?
She made an lmpres sion. She melt
cd him for the third time lie had
taken the bite and never uttered q
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

ed a. he hung 10 the door and held
mp the bitten leg i came in here tC
offer you an apology for my words
the other day and that Internal con
temptible--.
Mai Singleton, interrupted the
widow, mo true gentleman will swear
IL lady's presence
But that Internal poodle"
And, sir, must request you TO
withdraw. A man who will complain
when bitten by a dog should seek an
other strata Of society"
The major hoped across the hall
into his room on one leg and Mrs
Sherman was sent for BY the time
she arrived he had his trouser leg
rolled up, and was ready TO point TO
the two bites and exclaim:
Behold that poodle dog Either he
goes or | do"
But neither went Mrs. Sherman
wept, and Maj. Singleton melted after
an hour He ne,er could bear to see
woman weep Besides, Mrs. Sher-
man hinted that the poodle was Ill
and would probably die within few
weeks II not, then he might be lost
or stolen.
The major had made use OF the
words internal and "contemptible. "
On thinking things over as the ex-
pressions he had used in the hot fight
ing at Manassas On that occasion
his men were falling all around him,
while on this he had simply been BIZ
ten by poodle.
True. It WAS the second time, but
what are two bites from small poo
die in comparison to holding down
ones dignity?
Mai. Singleton rubbed the bites and
reflected and regretted and inside Of
week he was again ready to apollo
gize The widow Washburne had
risen from the dinner table right In
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

the park when the dog arrived. He
had always understood that Sherman
villa barred dogs and babies, and
there was a surprise awaiting him.
His rooms were opposite those OF
the widow. In the hall he received a
sudden bite in the leg, and he can't
cred about and swore He swore al
most as hard as he had at the battle
Of Cedar Mountain.
The widow stood in the door Of her
room and looked at him, and after he
had Gained down she asked:
WIN you tell me. sir, what sort
Of q performance this is?"
Your dog there-your dog!" he re-
Piled. pointing to the poodle. The in
fernal thing bit me in the leg. I'll
have him shot by the police!"
Major Singleton, have dog! 1t
is a poodle dog | have owned him
only two hours, and yet | love him. !
shall guard him with my iifel You
are no gentleman, sir to complain OF
q dog-bite!"
The major called the landlady to
HE lOOlu anu saw li'l al hiAAAAinNehh
Either be or the dog must go. He
was a bitten man. and further, the
owner of the bitter had said that he
was no gentleman.
Mrs. Sherman temporlzed and fat
tered end shed tears II is the land
ladies' who cant do that that are
sold out by the sheriff The dog was
to he chained IN. and the major was
to be allowed a full hour at dinner
to tell war stories.
II vas this last concession that
melted him. Indeed, after three or
four deys he brought himself to be-
lieve that lie owed the widow an
apology. He went 10 her room to
make ii. and that poodle dog bit him
FOR The second time
''This-thls is too mUch!" he shout
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

cuss word Let him stay on aud hop,
for the death of the dog
lie was there telling his war sto-
rlea at dinner. but little later ne
was sauuieriug the streets and look
Ing for a boy He wanted to ind a
percuIiar boy one who was not a
constant attendant at Sunday school
he looked .onP but found him Then
there was quiet coufab and money
passed and the non-Suuday school
boy went away saying I'm on TO
de racket, old man, and don't you lose
any sleep
Next day the widow and her dog
walked out The major didn't II was
fine day but he had inside busl-
ness He walked 20 and fro. He cx-
pected thiugs he drcw long breaths
After q while cab whirled up to
tho door A minute later there was
a scream .n the hall Then there
were shrieks on the stairs
20, Maj. Singleton. she's she's
lost! Tell the police advertise do
everything,
My dear Mrs. Washburne. you have
appealed 90 the right man Everything
shall be done She bit me. but / love
her Etiil Indeed vas hoping she
would bite me again today"
The police found no clew. The sd-
vertIsemeut brought no poodle The
majors hours on the street resulted
IN nothing He took tho widows
hand and spoke COusOling words He
referred to his three dog bites a.
nothing compared 10 the three can
non balls flung at him at Cedar Creek
lie apOl0gzcd some more
Only a week had passed when one
evening Mrs sherman whispered 20
the ladies Ono The parlor
Just think Three bites Of . dog
did it,"
What
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

since taking YOur medicine ! work regu'
laI.y uud don't feel any ill effects am
praismg your Remedy to my friends ] think
it's worthy of the highest praise. B. 1
DooLEY, Roanoke, Va"
Sufferers from Stomach Liver and lutcs.
tinal Aimcats are not asked 10 take Mayy s
Wonderful Stomach Remedy for weeks and
month before they feel benefited. Just try
one dosc--Which should make you feel
better in health convince you that yau will
soon Dc well and strong free you from pain
and suffering and give you % sound and
healthy stomach, as t hu. done u thousands
Of other cases. Wherever II is lakcu you
will hear nothing bnt Oh, highest praise. Go
20 your drusgist-ask him about the great
results i' has been accomplishing ir cos,s
Of people be- knows or send 10 Geo II. Nayr.
Mfg Chemist I5I15G Whiting ST. Chicago.
m. for q free book ON stomach Ailments
and many grateful letters from people who
have been. restored For sale m Tulsa by
Getman a Campbell Quaker Drug Co., aud
druggists everywhere
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24


That IL, she WAS the last conner She
also had money invested She had to
wait for her husband to die before
she could become widow and have
money In ested and become board
OIL the Sherman villa.
Maj. Singleton didn't like II that a
widow should be taken into the house
He didn't Ike II before seeing her,
and he liked Il less afierward
She was not awed She didn't de-
fer TO him She sought the opinion
of the foor-walker boarder as often as
that Of the major
The major vas netllcd, but he was
a gentleman lie went around the
corner to swear. but Ia the house he
was gracious and courteous. He even
played cards with the widow and
turned The music as she played the
plano.
Mrs. sherman was just congratu-
lating herself that the earthquake
had sianted of IN some other direc-
ton. and the other boardcrs we're
drawing long breaths Of relief, when
the blow fell The widow bought
poodle dog She bought It because
life was drcary 70 her. She bought
Il that her mind might not dwell on
the late Mr. W0shburre too mu0h
The major was out for = walk In
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

I'd like to leave my son some stocks
Instead of cash
But they may drift upon the rocks,
And go 10 smash.
And gilt-edged bonds. as it appears,
May not be good In twenty years
How can ] tie up wealth for him
or leave "a sum
To make him safe from troubles grim
In years TO come?
All stocks or bonds may turn TO dust
guess I'll put some coal in trust,
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

Il should be a'rai1 10 &C '-pt Tom,
my dear cautioned he fonl mciher.
Why SO. mama? asked the far
cook.ny-school graduate IN sl9priss.
Why be is such 20 athlete Young
man, ! heard him teinng soma frlpnds
that be had an appetite like IN ele.
phant"
oh don't let that worry ycu. ma.
ma II be has an appetite Ike an
elephant l'll iust feed him on leauut
and haled hav"
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

Ana pointing 20 the ceiling with
her Gurc, size almost winked an eye
and said.
"Cuo'ng going on / Just passed
the open door OF her sitting room and
though she was leaning her head on
the majors shoulder she never
Iumped'
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24
Whn She Knew.

sho-Mr Reid Is mn Of 81.
perior Intelligence
He-liow do you know that7
She Because be admitted that 4
knew more than he did
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24
HIGHER Edncatinn

Little Nillie-Sly pa, what IL
the higher cducutiouP
Pa The highe education. my son
is one that teaches young man that
he must work I'm order to earn an
honest living
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

Say queried the ordinary police
man, how did sou get next TO the
fact that the chap you arrested was
.0unteffeiter2"
'l overheard him making queer
remarks, explained the great dc.
fpotlys.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24
LOST==A POODLE


the midst OF one OF his best war
stories, but he could even forgive her
for that Could any widow be er-
pected 20 care whether the Union was
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

saved or no? Yes. he would apollo
gize He would apologize and look
out for his legs at the same time
The oppor unity soon came lie
Was coming home from his walk when
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24
Az. SINGLETON was
BY WALTER GREGORY.

Al. SINGLETON was
an old bachelor. with
money invested. tie
had been a boarder at
Mrs Sherman's vii
la for three or four
years, and they look
ed up and stood IN
awe Of him.
The widow Wash
burne was an In
truder at the villa.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

cal lass points as The American courts
are.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-08-24

Or. Larkipa, Osteopatn. opp. Kress
(advD
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1913-08-14

ORGANIZE GOOD BOYS PATROL
Kansas City Gang to Fight For Birds
and Animals.

and Animals.
A boy gang has been organized in
Kansas City. Mo-. to wage war on all
boys who kill birds or are unkind to
dogs. cats or other dumb animals. It is a
juvenile humane society and has taken
the name The Good Boys patrol.
The boys have adopted severe code
of discipline to govern themselves. and
the violation Of the rules by member
means his instant dismissal from the
organization. 4@
mo boy who swears, lies, steals
smokes. hops wagons or acts foolish
can belong to our gang" one of the
boys said in telling about the new or
ganization.
Although it is boy gang Of an un-
usual kind. the members have plenty
of spirit If they catch boy who has
killed bird or in any other manner
shows lack Of humane impulses they
resolve into Il court and try him. The
sentence always imposes enough pun
1shment to reform the offender
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1913-08-14

Huerta's attitude. as described in the
newspapers. is likely to prove very diff
ferent from that which he will assume
with the personal representative Of the
president of the United States, who
will tell him in effect that the United
States wants him to get out.
Many Problems Ahead.
If Mr. Lind's mission is a success
and he gets all sides to agree to
peaceful election the problem which
will then confront Mexico will still be
difficult. 1t may be necessary even,
say the experts. to revise the electoral
laws of Mexico and to provide new
machinery for elections. The existing
law is obviously designed to give those
in charge of the election complete con-
troll of the machinery, Under such cir
cumstances the election would proba-
bly, prove unsatisfactory and inconclu-
sive, with the chances great that the
defeated faction would take to the field
again.
In the meantime Mr.. Lind, as the
personal representative of President
Wilson in Mexico City, will have a
freedom of action that will tend to
give him greater powers than those
possessed by an ambassador, who
would be restricted by the customs and
practices of diplomacy. He will act as
adviser to Mr.. O'Shaughnessy, charge
d'affairs at the embassy in Mexico
City, until such time as the Mexican
situation is Strengthened out. when, if
the administration consents to recog-
nize the government that succeeds
Huerta's, he will probably be named,
should he wish it, as our next ambas-
sador to the southern republic.
On the other hand, by reason of the
fact that he carries with him no Gre
dentials, it is more than possible that
his presence in the Mexican capital
may lead to a situation even more
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1913-08-14
Confident His personal Rep
resentatiVe" Will Find Way
to Settle Problem.

~ ESPITE disquieting reports to
a the effect that he is persona non
grata with the Mexican gov
eminent, with the arrival in
Mexico City Of John Lind, personal
representative of President Wilson, the
administration is steadily growing
more hopeful that the Mexican tangle
will be speedily solved and the posi-
bility Of armed Intervention by the
United States negatived On the other
hand, it is freely predicted, unless the
Huerta government sees the light and
recognizes the fact that Mr. Lind's
mission is purely one of peace, this al
titude may result in the raising OF
the United States embargo on the ex-
pOrtatiOn of arms into that republic
Many believe that this would be the
quickest method Of relieving situa-
ton which hourly grows more trying
Colonel Eduardo Hay of the Constitu-
tionalist army, who has been in Wash
ington urging the senate to remove
this embargo. has reiterated frequently