The Washington herald., 1913-08-31
Accuses Women of Setting
Nets to Catch Husbands


a pastor. through his close touch with
the turbulent folk he meets in his many
I ministrations, ought to have learned by
| this time that the world has not been
| quite fair to its women, in its exactions
and its rebukes. 1t has not been alto
| gether just when IL has confidently as
sured them that marriage is their fitting
destiny and proper haven, and then has
/ bid them wait, without the slightest
personal effort 10 reach that safe port.
, And 1t has not been just, because it has
| not reckoned with human nature, which,
| under the veneer of training, custom
| and few things more, is not so very
| Inherent, whether il is man or woman
| that Is concerned.
Tell some young women that they
| ought to marry because that is the way
| OF women, the way of the greatest dig
| nifty, and then not expect them to spread
few little nets to help them come into
their own? That is idle enough. for
some young women like some young men,
| look only to the end, with little enough
care for the means; and II marriage is
| the Mecca OF their dreams, what care
they how they reach il? The worlds
mandate sternly-wisely, perhaps, who
! knows?-commands them to modestIy 81.
in the background until fate and the
man come offering release and a wider
the least OF its young women.
Ana II II reaIIy wants them 10 ceasa
building nets" II better stop scoIding
and look for a remedy.
You know, 1t seems to a few visionary
folk that II in the years that are gona
and in life today, young women always
nad Deen led 10 Deneve Inar marriage
Of itself. could confer no blessing ana
that in the eyes OF the world thew were
free as air to wed or go on in ''singIa
olessedness." there would have been less
occasion TO complain Of the nets that
were spread.
II they had been taught that lif. to-
gether, for men and women. was id.ar
only as there was common ground r.
tween them and that the tbIrz tbo+
counted was not to be wed, but bapniIv
wed, again there would have been fewer
nets and far less ground for criticism
And II. when they failed to marry
the world had not bothered its curIo,Is
head to ask why, to comment. and won
DER II no kind man ever asked them
the intriguing for husbands would NOT
have been so much in evidence.
And perhaps-just perhaps, remember
II they had been permitted to be ouits
free, just as men are free, to do their
modest best to win life mates to their
liking the natural quest might not have
saVored so strongly OF the pernIciouy
business OF spreading nets. It is only
the few-Very few and quite dreamy
they are-who venture to count II a hu-
man right, II the world would only see
II. for woman to chose her mate from
the whole world rather than from the
Few who chance TO come a-wooing. These
radical thinkers say it is a heaven-born
impulse that turns a young woman's
fancy in a particular direction, a man
made decree that warns her to conceal
her errant affections, at least, until she
has been asked" 10 reveal them. Trained
TO shrinkingly, becomingly, look down
when most she frankly wants to look up
and be her natural, human self. they do
not wonder so much, they declare, at the
growth OF 'womanly wiles," or of un-
womanly intrigues and nets. And, ex-
pected to wed, almost led to believe that
failure somehow brings a measure Of re-
buke, il is not strange that tempestu-
Gus, unruly young woman spreads her
little snare, to win IL she can, at least.
that in the way they view it
Most Of US are not ready to say they
are right. in the matter Of taking the
initiative. for We have so long counted
the quest of a mate as part Of mans
birthright that it seems revolutionary
place in womsn's hesitant hands so
strange and mighty a prerogative.
But We do say, without a word OF doubt
that We cannot expect all young women,
the turbulent and the retiring alike, to
accept the lessons that the world has
persistently tried to teach them. and
never betray any weakness. Time and
conditions are pleasantly moving along
10 the point where all young women
will feel quite free to wait for the one
call 10 which they really respond, free
from comment, trained TO carve out their
own future, led to understand that mar
riage is beautiful only as it is made so
by fair blend Of head and heart, and
that for them, as well as for their broth
ers, the attitude of the world is-wait for
the advent OF love and the promptings Of
judgment.
Meanwhile It is well for ministers and
other folk to remember that young wom-
en- are human before they are anything
else. and sometimes they are so weakly
human that when they are insstently
urged to take their place as wives and
mothers and assured that they are not
true to themselves or the world il they
step aside from that mission, they begin
to spread their nets, fearful lest the
hand of fate may fail
And, since life is curious mixture Of
the false and the true the submissive and
tie rebellious, is it quite fair to blame
them? Is it not better to admit that there
is a shadow of excuse for the unlovely
network they spread and to attack the
faulty training rather than the finished
product?