davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Remarkable.

Whistle is remarkable man and
The best hod carrier In the world.
Gillis--No great glory in that.
Willis-Ah. but he has never writ
ten a magazine article on bod carry
Ing. nor delivered a Chautauqua lee
ture on bod carrying. nor even done
a bod carrying act in vaudeville
Puck.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
He tIadn't the iIcsrs r. b 4

Grouchy Patron--Goodness man!
Why don't you rid this place Of aies!
There must be a million Of them!
Restaurant Proprietor-Sorry, sir,
but | can't. Kind OF sentiment, you
zee. The money that gave me my
start here came as a prize in con-
test in which | swatted 3,646 more
flies than my nearest competitor!--
Puck.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Wise Saw Refuted.

Mrs. Vastlee Rich (sentimentally)--
Longfellow says, I'VE can not buy
with gold the OLD associations"
Vastlee Rich CONT you believe 1t.
my dear. When was In politics |
found that cash would purchase the
ancientest organization on earth
Life.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

Now" said the chairman of the
investigating committee. II wish you
would tell us where the $4,000 called
for by this voucher went"
Il don't know where ii went
You don't know where it went"
mo. sir. / am an honest man, l
kept my eyes closed while the money
was being disposed Of
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Offerings TO Neptune.

Ever cross the ocean, Mrs. Iced
er?"
Fourteen times"
Ever been seasick?r
Fourteen times"
Mercy! Why haven't you given up
ocean voyages long ago?"
20. ones position in society requires
these sacrifices
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

I've not applied for any public place:
Frithd Woodrow has not been disturbed
by me;
Though we have met each other face-to-
face
I've caused him not the least anxiety;
Yet 1t Is only fair u say that 7
Did much to help him when he needed
aid
His cause was greatly benefited by
The wise, unseliish efforts that ! made.
I have deep contempt for those who
seek
The easy berths he has at his COM
mand;
They must possess a large amount Of
cheek,
And we may trust that he will under
stand:
have not asked for anything at ALL
1 would not deign to BIO d supplicant;
II would be far from proper, though to
The service that rendered poor or
scant.
would not even IL stood in need
Of aid he might confer, press any
claim
I've asked no friend of mine at court, in
deed,
To favor me by mentioning my name;
stand aloof In silence. asking naught;
| make no plea and I present no bid;
Yet there is no denying that he ought
In some way to be told how much ! did,
BY patriotic motives only stirred,
l labored for him through the long cam
paign.
have endeavored both by deed ana word
To make my high and noble purpose
plain.
Yet II he should insist on naming me
For any public office anywhere.
I'd feel it my stern duty TO agree
To help the nation on by serving there.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

Il hear when you have your chill
dren gathered around you, It Is quite
picture"
We'll, when we all went to our new
house. can tell you 1t was moving
picture"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

Yes / know a fellow who fell in
love with a girl at first sight, and is
thoroughly happy, although that was
more than ten years ago"
Remarkable"
mot at all. She cared for him"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
He Knew Better.

First Urchin--Dey say pickin' up a
pin brings luck.
Second Urchin--Nothin' to It'll l
picked up~pins In bollin' alley fer
tree weeks an den got fred.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

MIR. Spooned, isn't this the third
time you have asked me to be your
wife,"
IL believe it is, Miss Jennie"
well, you've famed the air three
time, You're out on strikes"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Models inexpensive. Anyway.

Artist wish. my dear, that you
would order some kindling wood and
shingles this morning
His Wife--"What in the world do
you want kindling wood and shingles
for?" 0
Artist--"I'm going in for cubism and
I want to construct model"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Cause and Effect.

why the young man asked. do
you think that Miss Ashley will never
be the wife of any one but Harry
Hinkley?"
Because said the fair widow, her
parents are both strongly opposed to
her having anything to do with him"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Lost and Found.

LOST-AutomoDile round leather
top strang, six or eight feet long
Return to Southern Illinois Motor
Co, SO Commercial. tf-6-2
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
TELEPHONE YOUR Want Ans
BOTH PHONES Sc
ADVERTISEMENT.

time with approved security. Every
house rented and have good trade in
store. Address e, care Bulletin
6-S-3t
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Writing That Pays.

what does this young fellow write?
wont have my daughter married to
a starving author"
.Off the handle, as usual. dad.
That young chap wrote 100000
worth Of LIE insurance last year"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Expensive spot.

"Gilt Crest Is considered healthy
place, yet all the guests who leave the
hotel look sick
"oh, they don't look sick until they
get their blli5."
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

FOuND-Automobi curtain, on
Commercial avenue Wednesday
evening. Owner can have same by
calling at Bulletin office. &C st
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Pampered Pitcher.

Didn't see you turn on the electric
light just now?" demanded the man
ager of the ball team severely.
"You did," admitted the $4,000
pitcher.
Always call bellboy to do that.
You gotta take care Of that wing"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
ADVERTISEMENT.

= r. :
giIl for general hoascwork or cook.
Apply sl5 Walnut street. 6 S-tf
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

Fer SALE OR TRADE Several
new business houses and dwellings.
also several tracts of land. also
100000 stock of goods all new, in
Illinois town about l6 miles from
Cairo. for Cairo or Mounds property.
or will sell any or all on good long
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
ono Gase.

"ITave you ever heard OF case OF
love at first sight that turned out rat
isfactorily?"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
GARDEN HOSE WANTED.

WANTED A piece of garden
hose, 25 feet or more; no nozzle
needed Telephone Bell 1898. 6-S-tf
LEAVING city l offer for sale l
good driving mare 8 years Old, gen.
tie, any lady can drive. | runabout,
l surrey, harness and saddle. etc.
S-room story honse on lots, all
conyeniences with alley in rear.
7-room cottage, 2 lots alley in rear
and other real estate, etc, Apply
James Mccormick, $500 Washing
ton. CT II
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
LADIESlll
HAPPY HOME MATERNITY.

Tor private and easy eoninsmsn Forty years experiences
reliable. adoption in nice homes can cone before.Ims
you wi,h Call or writs other Dr.. Turer or Forsaos
Hyatt. Pin. Lawn. St. Louis Col Mo. STRICTLY
ethical,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

81 FOR RENT~-June LIST. 326 Tth
street. modern, 2 story. Dr. Davis,
dentist b-17 tt
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Erauoht WIN Woo,

Fraueht With Woe.
Tho saddest words,
We say again,
Are: Game postponed.
Account Of rain"
s1ousenoics.
do you believe in corporal punish
ment for children
Il should say not" replied Farmer
Corntossel. Parents out our way are
studyin' grammar an table manners
an feelin' thankful IL their children
don't snub EN-"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Help Wanted--Male.

WANTED--Two good carpenters
and one pipe filter at once. Apply
to The Mcclure Co.. Drainage Dis
triet. l.. Fl. updiker. Factory Supt
,WyANTED-75 laborers at once.
Apply to Mcclure Co, Drainage Dis
trict Good pay. l.. III. Updike
Factory superintendent. 5119-tf.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

WANT TO BUY Second hand
furniture and household goods.
Highest cash price paid. New goods
exchanged for old Call home
phone 4O9. 1911 Commercial Ave-
nue.. II
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

WANTED FOR u. $. ARMY -
Able bodied unmarried men between
ages OF IL and 35; citizens of United
states, OF good character and tenn
perate habits. who can spead, read
and write the English language.
For information apply to Recruiting
officer, All Ohio ST. Cairo. III.
tWANTED--Two news agents to
work on Trains. Apply Union News
Co. Big Four depot. 6rS-1w
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Miscellaneous Wanted.

WANTED---To hear from some
resident In Cairo or vicinity who
does not carry fire Insurance. Can
dee Insurance Agency, SIT Ohio
street. II
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Help Wanted-Fe Female.

WANTED--Th1rty girls at the
Overall factory, steady work, good
pay Twerty-ninth. near Sycamore.
d. T. Marx Co
WANTED-Giri TO learn tele-
phone work at Mound city or
Mounds. Apply j. N. Cecil. Mgr.
Mound City. 5-2s tt
HOUSE GIRL WANTED = Good
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

Spectator tat marathon race to
runner far behlnd) Hurry up-youn
win yet.
Runner-Shut upl | don't belong TO
that bunch in front. I'm the first man
of another bunch behind.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
Buildings For Rent.

FOR RENT Warehouse, best in
Cairo; four stories and basement,
strictly modern, Good proposition
for some one who will act quickly.
Call Mr.. Danciger, Schiller Bros,
Eighth and Ohio streets. 5-25-30t
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

FOR RENT NJ ,dein eight room
RI silence, GA Center street. Fresh
ly papered throughout. Desirable
neighborhood. Rent reasonable.
Walter Warder, Room / Gilbert
Block. Home phones 292-W and
1G3-K. 5-29 1t
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
ADVERTISEMENT.


FOR RENT 4oe Elm street;
modern eight room house. with
every convenience and In most de-
slrable neighborhcod. Apply Can
dee Insurance Agency. tt
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

WANTED--Assista poundmas-
ter, white or black with horse and
wagon, Good money for right man.
iii Commercial avenue, H. j.
Dacres Poundmaster. CO 1t
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09
LABORERs WANTED.

Fifty laborers wanted at once at
Anna, d., to lay pipe for wate-
works, They can make from SO to
$50 day. Cali at Farmers Hotel at
Anna, H., soon as possible. 6-S-It
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

WANTED--At once two statesmen
lady or gentlemen. Apply at 1908
Commercial avenue. 5-23 tf
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-06-09

WANTED---Two or three nicely
furnished room for light housekeep-
ing. Must be in desirable neigh
borhood. Address or call for &c,
G. c." at this office.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
FOR THE CHILDREN
A Wonderful Tree.

The rain tree of Peru can be cult
waited with very little trouble. for it
seems Indifferent as to the soil in
which it grows. The tree increases
rapidly and resists both extremes Of
climate. 1t grows very large. h rich
in leaves and il called by the Indians
tamaicaspi
This wonderful tree has the power Of
collecting the dampness Of the atmos-
phere and condensing 1t into contin-
nous and copious supply Of rain.
In the first season. when the rivers
are low and the heat great. the trees
power Of cOndensing seems at the high
est and water falls in abundance from
the leaves and oozes from the trunk.
The water spreads around in veritable
rivers. part of which filters into the
soil and fertilizeS It. These rivers are
canalized NO AS to regulate the course
Of the water.
1t Is estimated that one Of the Peru
Wan rain trees will on the average
yield nine gallons Of water per day.
In field Of an area Of one kilometes
square-that Is. $3.50 feet each way
can be grown 10000 trees. This plan
tation will produce daily 1856. 600 liters
Of water. II we allow for evaporation
and infiltration we have 10000 liters.
or 20.531 gallons. Of rain for distribu-
ton daily.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06


That Is what you will succeed in say
ing II you repeat Troy boats" ten
times Try 1t on your friends. partic-
ularly on those who can say peter
Piper picked peck Of picked pep
pers." and Around the rock the rag
ged rascal ram" and Papa. potatoes.
poultry. prunes and prisms." and She
sells seashells on the seashore."
Just why Troy boats" is so difficult
is not quite easy to understand, be-
cause the 10y" in Troy and the 90 in
boats can easily be repeated The fact
is. though. that it is one Of the most
difficult combinations in the English
language.
1t is all the more amusing. too. be-
cause it sounds so simple The long.
complex sentences. designed to try the
unwary. are obviously hard. but every
one will smile when asked to say
"Troy boats" ten times.
AS Il matter Of fact. those two words
are such trap for the tongue that the
men who call out the boats on the
piers in New York hardly ever say
Troy boat" but BOAT for Troy"
which any one can say without the
least trouble.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
RETURNED FROM EUROPE
Miss Ida Clemens, Of Montesano, Re.
turns Home From a Tour Of
Seven Months in Europe

MONTESANO, May 3.-Complet
ing a trip of seven months duration
during which time she toured France.
Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Germany,
England, Scotland and Ireland, Miss
Ida Clemens returned to her home
in this city last Saturday evening.
She was accompanied on the journey
by friends from Bellingham. During
the months abroad, Miss Clemens Wis
tied at Paris and Lyons, France;
Genoa, Milan, Rome, Florence Ma
pies, Pompeii and Venice, Italy;
Vienna, Austria, Berlin, Frankfort,
Weisbaden Hot Springs, Strasburg
and Cologne, Germany; Interlaken
Zurich, Lucerne, Geneva and Berne,
Switzerland; London and Liverpool,
England; Glasgow, Edinburg and
Stirling, Scotland; Belfast, Port
Rush, Dublin, Killarney, Cork, Blar-
ney and Queenstown, Ireland.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
TO BUILD CITY HALL

MONTESANO, May 5.-The assur-
ance that loan of $4,000 will be
forthcoming from the First National
Life Assurance Co., of Tacoma, to
be applied toward the erection of
city hall and fire department sta
ton makes certain that the long con-
mems property at Main and Broad
streets will soon be undertaken. The
action was determined at the meet
ing of the firemen Monday evening
when the notification of the prom
Used loan was, made and the depart
ment went on record as favoring the
erection of the structure at a cost
not to exceed $4,000.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06

advertised for such cases and sent and
got bottle. It did me so much good
that kept on taking it and found it to
be all you claim. ! recommend your
Compound to all women afflicted as
was. Mrs. F. P. MULLENDoRE, Mum
ford, Alabama.
An Honest Dependable Medicine
is Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. A Root and Herb medicine orig
mated nearly forty years ago by Lydia
E. Pinkham of Lynn, Mass, for con-
trolling female ills.
Its wonderful success in this line has
made it the safest and most dependable
medicine Of the age for women and no
woman suffering from female ills does
herself justice who does not give it a
trial.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia f. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE G Compound will help you, write
to Lydia f. Pinkham Me(licineC Co.
(cOnfidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
MoNTEsANo STREET FILL
City Signs Contract for Filling the
Elevated Road Leading to
River Front

MONTESANO, May 5.-Judge Two
by of Spokane was in Montesano Sat
urday and signed up with Mayor
Wheeler a contract by which the
Twohy Brothers will before leaving
the o. & w. work here, fill First
street, % feet wide, from the end of
the high ground near the railroad
tracks to South Montesano-thus do.
ing away with the long plank trestle
road between the river and the city
proper.
The contract price is about SILL
600 or only about half what it would
have cost to have filled the street
by team work. The street runs along
side of the o. & w. track fill and
the contracting company can use its
dump cars the same as it has on the
railroad work. 1t will bring the ma.
terial for the fill-the same as the
o. & w. used, from the banks a few
miles east on the o. & W.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
HOQUlAM FILL ATTACKED
John Richardson Resists Assessment
for Fill District. Irregular
Publication Alleged

HOQUIAM, May 5.-John Richard
son through his attorneys. Morgan
& Brewer, started an action asking
the assessment roll in Fill District
No. 1, Hoquiam, be declared void and
all proceeding in connection with it
be set aside.
The grounds on which this is ask
ed are that no proper notice was
given OF the date set for hearing by
the city commissioners acting as a
board Of equalization at which the
cost of the work was set against
various properties. According to
the complaint the notice of hearing
was published in the official city
paper, The Grays Harbor Washing
tonian, first, Oct. Is, 1912, and last.
Oct. %. 1912. while the date of
hearing was fixed for Nov. 6. 1912.
1t is set out the state laws provide
the first publication of such notice
must be 20 days before the date of
hearing. In this case it is alleged
the first publication was 10 days be-
fore the date of hearing. 1t is fur.
Their alleged the board met and at
tempted to levy a tax at that time.
and such tax now stands as a pre-
tended lien on the property of John
Richardson and wife-lots 5 and 6.
block n, that it is a cloud on the
title, and that the courts should de.
clare it void, thus quieting title.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06

A very interesting game for older
children is to have some one write
line on piece Of paper. fold it over
once and then tell what the last word
is and how many words are in the
line. The next writer puts down a
line of the same number of words or
nearly the same. but not riming with
the last word given out. The third
player must make his last word
rime with that of the first line. and
the fourth writer has to end his line
with something that sounds like the
last word in the second line. This can
go on for as many times as there are
players. Later the poems are collect
ed and read aloud. and they make
very funny reading indeed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
NEW LOCATION FOR
THE BANK OF ELMA

ELMA, May 3.-This week E. l..
France closed a real estate deal by
which the Bank of Elma comes in
to possession of the corner on Main
and Fourth streets now occupied by
the Brewer Pharmacy. Mr.. France
announces for the Bank of Elma that
in the near future his institution will
there erect handsome building to
take care of their increasing bust
ness and their future needs. The
building will be of fire proof con-
struction and first-class in all lie
spects. 1t will contain steel lined
money and safe deposit vaults and
the arrangement will be such as t."
make the handling Of banking bust
ness most expedient and careful.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
Animals That Sham Death.

Almost every wild creature knows
the trick of shamming death. A wea-
sci. above all. knows how to practice
the device with extraordinary success.
Caught in trap. he hangs apparently
limp and ifeless. even holding his
breath. 50 that any but one acquainted
with his habits would put back the
spring and fling the creature away.
A hawk caught in a pole trap 1ut-
tiers in agony. but directly 1t hears a
human tread it will drop its head,
hang down like pheasant in a larder
and pretend to have died in pain. II
the trapper is of trusting DISPOSE
ton and frees its legs it will promptly
take to it's wings and make of before
he can stir finger.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
ADVENTISTS
CONFERENCE
Seventh-Day Adventists From
All Over the World Will
Gather in Washington
ABERDEEN REPRESENTED
Between 300 and 500 dele
gates Will Assemble In
Canvas Tents

Seventh-day Adventists in various
parts Of Western Washington are
preparing to attend the Quadrennial
meeting of the General Conference
Of that denomination which will be
Held in Washington. D. c., May Is
to June 8. and which will bring to.
4ether believers in the faith from all
parts of the world. A delegation OF
fifteen members will represent the
North Pacific Union Conference
which takes in the states of Idaho
Oregon, Montana and Washington.
These persons will be among the
delegates that will represent every
one of the Is union conferences in
the United States, Canada. Europe,
Australia and Africa, and the mis-.
mon stations in Africa and Asia.
While the delegates will number be-
tween 300 and 500, the number of
persons to attend will sweet to about
1000, and believers from all parts of
North America will flock to the scene
to listen to the important questions
concerning the whole denomination
which will come up for considera.
ton, and the explanation of Bible
themes by leading ministers of the
faith.
There are &c churches in the West
ern Washington Conference, and the
adherents in Chehalis County will
await with interest the return of
President Johnson and the other
members of the delegation who re.
side in Western Washington, to learn
Of the things accomplished during
the session. Among those who have
planned to attend the meetings from
the Aberdeen church are: DR.. N. C.
NacLafferty and wife who are now
in. the East. DR.. MacLafferty was
formerly resident of this city but
Is now located at Winlock, Wash.
The doctor has gone east to take
postgraduate course to better fit
himself for his rapidly increasing
practice. DR.. MacLafferty will visit
his old home in Western New York.
on his return from attending this
General Conference and be back on
the coast sometime in June
Over 500 tents will be pitched for
the housing of the people during their
stay at the session and large can
vas pavilions will be pitched for the
holding of the meetings. 1t is ex-
pected that at least thirty meetings
. day will be held.
Not only will problems affecting
the entire denomination be consider
ed, but the leaders of the different
departments, comprising the whole.
will hold separate meetings. Educa-
tors from the leading academies and
colleges controlled by the denomin-
alton in this and other countries will
hold daily conventions, as will the
advocates of religious liberty. the
b0okmen, and the leaders Of the
young peoples societies throughout
the denomination. It will be bust
ness from early morning until night
every day of the session.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-05-06
MONTESANO WILL COME

MONTESANO, May 5.-Citizens Of
Montesano have decided to co-opera.
te with Hoquiam in the annual In
dependence day celebration this
year and make the Grays Harbor
splash" a county affair. In return
for the assistance, HoQuiam and Alb
erdeen will be asked to assist in the
big celebration planned in this city
on the completion of the joint Ore
gon-Washington and C. M. & st. Paul
line into this city.