davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
LITTLE JAMES

Glow Judge Archibald Got Wrong in Life)
 Whats this in tn Papers about Judge Archy Bald gittin' fired by tn Senit? I My Paw which replize James, Judge Archy Bald was not fired you ROodly it We don't fire Judges. We dismiss 'em accept their Resigna shuns an sometimes try Recoil 'em We don't fire nobody but them in tn Lower Walks of Life. Judge Archy Bald dismist with tn Consent an Benny Dickshun of all tn People in tn United States
 Tt found Judge Archy Bald had slected tn Kong Vocashun in Life. What call tn Commershle Temperament too Strong in him fer to be Good Judge. It wasn't his FOlt. His Parence Blame trainin' him to be Judge. They Ort Eddycated him be Horse trader. With tn Nacherl undevelOpt Talence of trader which he displaid tn Bench, if he'd a been carefly brot up as a Horse trader he'd owned all tn Horses in tn United States by ".
 But not havin' Defnt Line of Tradin' he traded Permiscus fer thing at come along. He traded Judishle Decishun fer Trip to tn Ole Country fer hissef an wife. He traded anuther fer what's called Cullum Bank. I don't jist Know what Culum Bank is which shows Judge Archy Bald out fer to Trade fer anything at come along. like a 2nd Hand Store. He traded Desshuns fer Chex an Notes, jist anything"
 Didn't the fokes at he traded with git Cheeted?" I
 No" My Paw, "on tn Contrary, they got Moren Valley Reseeved They cuddent a got them Money tall He mite "a held 'em fer a Good deel more an I'm sprzed at his Lawyer didn't think to bring that out before tn Senit"
 T by tn Papers at Judge Archy Bald dismist fer Puryfy tn Bench, I
 That wasn't it a tall" My Paw; it wud dent a done Good to Puryfy tn Bench in only jist wun Place. They let Judge Archy Bald go sos he'd be Free to foller his Nacherl Commershle Instinck. It pity to Keep sich Genyous out of what's called tn Marts of Trade"
 What he Judge of?" sats My Nav.
 Tn Commers Court" replize My Paw.
 Seems to me-" My Nav, from what you say that jist tn Place he cut out fer with his Commershe Temperament"
 What do you think Commers Court is' any hoW?" asts My Paw; "a Pon Broker shop? l spose you think at they is Justice in Justice of tn Peece court" LITTLE JAMES.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
"For Tomorrow Never Comes''
("Crabbed Age and

("Crabbed Age and Youth" by R. l.. StevensonJ
 It is customary say that age should be considered, because it seems just much to the point, that youth first. And the scale fairly kicks the beam, if you go on to add that age in a majority of cases, never comes at all. Disease and accident make short work of the most prosperous persons; death costs nothing, and the expense of headstone is an in considerable trifle the happy heir.
 To be suddenly snuffed the middle o ambitious schemes is tragca enough at best; but when a has been grudging himself his life in the meanwhile and saving up everything for the festival that be, it becomes that hysterically moving tragedy which lies the confines of farce. The victim is dead-and he has cunningly over-reached himself a binaton of caamities none the less absurd for being grim.
 To husband a favorite claret till the batch sOur is all artfu stroke of policy; and how much with a whole celar-a whole bodily existence! People may lay down their lives with cheerfulness in the expectation of blessed immortality; but that is different affair from giving up youth with all admirable pleasures, in the hope of a better quality of gruel in more than probematicaI old age. We should compliment a hungry man, who should refuse a whole dinner all his appetite for the dessert before he knew whether there to be any dessert not If there be such thing imprudence in the world surely have it here.
 We sail in leaky bottoms and great and perilOus waters and to take from the dolorous old naval ballad, have heard the mermaidens singing know that shalr dry land any Old and young all our cruise If there is a fill of tobacco among the crew. for Gods sake pass it round, and let us have a pipe before We go!
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
A Single Instance

Those newspapers which are opposing the recall of the judiciary point with satisfaction the dis position of the Archibald proof that there is need of the popular recall.
 There two things to be taken into consider alton before reaching such conclusion One is that Archibald ought to have been driven from the bench long he would have been if the people had had to him.
 The other is that the action taken by the senate in all probability such would have taken ten years five years ago, at any time previous to the agitation of the last two years for a reform of the courts. We may also be- Heve that if the house representatives had been republican there would have been impeachment proceedings.
 In view of all these things that the relief of the people from injustice the is certain, depending upon changes of politics and the temper of congressman The power of the recall should be given the people without disturbing the power of impeachment, the former to be employed only when there is failure to the exercise of the latter.
 The eventuality of the Archibald matter only proves that at present corrupt judge may be inn peached and not proof that half dozen years hence congress would take similar action in a simi lar
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
Measuring Professional Activities
Chicago Record -Herald)

Who has the temerity to assert that there's virtue in idleness nowadays? Some time ago a good bishop possessed of the spirit of the age took his clergymen task for leaving loose ends. Scientific management, he assured them, would increase the yield in the spiritual field Now memorable controller of Harvard university grieves because the last drop of efficiency isn't being wrung of the faculty. He wants the professors keep card index of their activities the end that may be eliminated.
 It's hard world and getting harder. If a loafs and invites his soul Whitman found it profitable do, he is ruthessly condemned by his fellows. You remember the righteous wrath of Mir Worldly Wiseman in Stevensons essay? He would have had all idlers fogged by the common hangman. He is gentler today, is MT. Worldly Wise man, more scientific Instead of the cato mine tails he prefers the card index weary world, by your leaVe
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
The Cost of War
Cincinnati Times Star)

Cincinnati Times-S -Star)
 It has been taken for granted that the ntrOduc tion of modern ornaments, equipment and methods has largely increased the of Yet if figures submitted the of the Balkan war be accepted at their face value the increase be great supposed.
 It is estimated by European authorities that the of this latest has reached total of and the heavy expenses were only curtaied when the armistice signed and fighting was suspended. The armies still in the field and the cost of maintaining them continues to be heavy drain
 When it is remembered that civil war, when in full swing the federal government $ 900 900 day, of $72, 100000 for three months in southeastern Europe small. It is true that far greater conflict only in the number of involved. but in the extent Of the Nevertheless the money cost of fifty years ago only fraction of what it is today, according to all authorities.
 The Italian government has just made public statement placing the cost to Italy of the Italo- Turkish at nearly $95,000,000. That lasted almost precisely year, but it not marked by any great campaigns and must have been cheap modern go. It is also stated that Russia has spent s12O OOOOOO. Austria s4O,OO0.OOO. combined nearly $13O 00OO0O merely in preparation Balkan disturbance If these figures right, it S hard understand how the estimate of the Balkan wal expense account can also be correct
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
Scotch Whisky Combine
London Financial Times)

(London Financial Times)
 Keen interest is being taken in Scotch whisky circles in the proposal for the amalgamaton of the highland distilers Despite the more than doubtful prospects the project is being persevered with The influential London syndicate which is stated to be behind the scheme is represented in the negota tons by foreign nobeman who is stated to have already attained considerable position in inter national finance. He is seeking a four months option over certain disteries, with full particulars which presumably intended form the basis for further negotiations. It is doubtful however if great degree of is being with largely owing to the lack of familiarity with the conditions prevailing in the industry and the idiosy of the highland dstilleries displayed by the pro motors.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
Ingersoll on Tobacco

These leaves make friends and celebrate with gentle rites the of peace. They have given consolation to the world. They the companions of the lonely, the friends of the imprisoned of the exile of workers in mines, of feers of forests, of sailors the deep They givers of strength and calm to the vexed and Wearied minds of those who build with thought and brain the temples of the soul. They tell of hope and rest They smooth the wrinkled brows of care; drive and strange, msshapen dreads from out the mind, and fill the heart with rest and peace Within their magic warp and wool some potent gracious spell imprisoned lies, that, when released by fire doth softly steal within the fortress of the brain and bind in sleep the captured sentinels of and grief These leaves the friends of the fireside their smeke-ke incense rises from myriads of happy homes. Cuba is the smile of the sea-
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
RESCUE FROM ELECTRIC SHOCK
CThe IanCet)

In dealing with persons suffering from elec- trica shock, if the victim remains in contact with the circuit his body be touched by the rescuer, but the latter may pull him of contact by hauling the clothing he may take off his coat. insert his hand in the sleeves and then handle the victim with little risk
 Almost any article of clothing material may be used. provided it is dry and of moderate thick ness. Doctor Morton points that death from electrical shock is only apparent death at first and that there is practically always a time during which it is possible resuscitate the victim by artificial respiration
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

stage, tOgS, winter wage; their monOlogues full "Ts," and also full of mes; and hearers say, heartfelt sghs, that something smells of cheese. And wrangling loud and long, with energy and fire; says that tother did him wrong and tother calls him Tyre. And thus themselves they adver- tise, busiy bees, with endless jags of big fat Is and WagOnoads mes" Oh I'll be glad when spring is here, for then the players all will quit their capers strange and queer and play the game of ball.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

fudge which they carry home with them and inflict upon their parents After girl has graduated from the domestic science department a finish ing school, she turn everything in the of food except ham and eggs boiled potatoes Salt-risng bread When the parents of uneasy daughter discover that she is likely graduate from the eighth grade unless her father get elected to the school board, she is a tide water finishing school and doped with the languages and other stmulants She is taught the proper use of the napkin ring, how to eat grape fruit without wearing smoked glasses, and the art of modulating the voice that she cannot be heard in the next block. She is also taught the difference between Schumann- Heink and Shakes peare and otherwise toned Life at finishing school is very thrilling Once in two weeks the girls escorted in low-spirited squads docorous theater by a chaperon whose views of the a.. while the girls allowed to dance with each other, which is of the most exhilaratng times invented and makes all concerned happy and gay. By way of diversion the girls who have paid their tuition in advance sometimes per mitted to experiment with the Welsh rarebit, after which they are given free medical treatment. The upper class girls occasionally allowed to enter tain a brother in the front parlor, surrounded by the entire faculty, provided that the brother brings a certified copy of his handwriting his railroad ticket and letter of introduction from the Metho- dist minister.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

until they can be Shellaced with culture in the form of the French classics, the high handshake, the Richmond, Virginia, accent, and two Chopin etudes, after which they are allowed to return home and spring a dazzling relay of tube gowns. All of our best fin ishing schools are located in the far east, where the people have plenty of time to read Balzac and learn the turkey trot. They are always presided over by some stern spinster who has accumu- who teaches the girls how to make salad dressing and divinity
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
"THou MADEsr ME FOR HIMSELF"

AuguStine)
 O thou Good Omnipotent, who for every of us if thou caredst for him alone; and for al if all but one! To thee I will ntrust whatsoever I have received from thee So shall lose nothing. Thou madest for thy self, and heart is restless until it repose
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

The status of babies with respect to the parcel post is yet to be determined. Babies not in cuded either in the list of articles commodities which may transmitted the list of barred articles This has been put up the post master general who no with dis erection in all matters not mentioned in the law.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

no fans are yelling there. Where are the lads. the gifted lads, who
 lately played the game, and thereby gathered in the scads, and wreathed themselves with fame? Where are the men who brought distress to foes, and won the goal? An, some are writing for the press their dreary rigmarOle; which rigmarole, all full of 'Ts," gives mankind clammy thrills; the baseball lads. if they were wise, would throw away their quills. And some are doing mOnolOgues upon the weary
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

The wedding garments of Miss Helen Gould will than 5000 That would a little than pay for the gloves of many New York brides in the past whose wealth pitiaby small in com parison with that of Mrs Shepard to be
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19

MT. Roddenbury's resolution of last Friday to secure the coming inauguration ball against in- decenCy mpels ask if there has been anything in past this kind suggest the need of such a precaution he has taken.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
WoMEN,S PREACHING

Or Samuel Johnson)
 A womans preaching is like dog walking on his hind legs. It is done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
The Finishing School
By HOWARD l.. RANN

The finishing school is expensive institution where tall, raW-boned girls are sandpapered down
Arizona republican., 1913-01-19
Dark Days
By WALT MASON

There's nothing doing the park, the beachers lll bare. the grandstands empty. cold and dark.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26

afraid OF machine Under n modern
civil service law he thinks one may
be created. II Mr.. Foote has under
gone such complete change OF sem
timent in two years, then the people
OF the state can not, with any degree
OF safety, follow his recommendations
now. II his defect is not one of mem
tai equipment, then he is open to tho
charge Of inconsistency.
THE truth Of the matter is that he
Is a part Of the plan set on foot by the
Equity association OF Cleveland. which
is spending untold thousands Of doh
lars in the employment OF Burns de-
tectives TO upset the humane work
mems compensation law and the
Warnes and Fitzpatrick measures. The
present attitude of the Equity associ.
alton in Seeing from the state house
only yesterday. when the state OF Ohio,
by its secretary Of state and attorney
general, exhibited evidences of fraud
and perjury perpetrated by its paid
hirelings. makes 1t so disreputable in
the public mind that any man who is
associated with 1t is open to the
Iharge Of desiring to participate In its
fabulous campaign fund"
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
SHOOTING
Of A Hobo In The Leg Occurs
In The "JungIes'

A man giving his name as c. j.
Holbrook of Orrville, Ohio, was shot
in the leg by revolver Friday night
in the "jungles". He was in company
of two other men who stated that
Holbrook was cleaning his weapon
when it was accidentally discharged
While the injured man did not deny
the explanation given by his compan.
ions, the affair has suspicious as
pect because of the fact that all three
Of them protest vigorously against
going to a doctor or a hospital
At 11:45 o'clock Friday night call
was sent in for the Chappelear am
bulance and a run was made to the
recognized hold-out of "hoboes" and
undesirables. The three men were
easily found and the injured one was
apparently suffering considerable pain
from a bullet wound in his right leg
just below the knee. He was placed
in the ambulance. All three of the
men expressed desire to be taken to
a rooming house, but not to physi-
clan or hospital. A start was made
for the Arlington hotel, but while en-
route to that place the men changed
their minds and asked to be taken to
the Pennsylvania station. Their
wishes were granted and the wound
ed member of the party was left there
with his companions. He was badly
in need of surgical attention as his
wound had been attended only by the
other two men who had placed rude
bandages upon the leg. They were
gone Saturday morning and the sup
position is that they boarded an out
going freight train some time during
the night and left the city. All three
were strangers in Mt. Vernon.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
DROWNED
We're Two Men In Presence
Of Their SWeethGartS

Philadelphia, Penn. Aug. 23--
Clutched in each others arms and bat.
tling desperately against the swiftly
running tide, G. d. Allan Seller and
Harry Wieman, Moorestown, were
drowned in Rancocas Creek today
while their sweethearts, whom they
were soon to wed, made a brave but
futile effort to save them in a canoe.
The girls, who, together with the
mother of Seller, witnessed the double
drowning, were Misses Dora Beck and
Grace Buck, of Audubon, N. ].
Miss Beck was engaged to Seller,
while Miss Buck was the flancee of
Wiemann. All we're members of a
party spending tneir vacations aboard
house boat.
The men were in bathing when
caught by the current.
Both men sank just as the canoe
shot over the spot where few bub-
bles marked the place where the pair
met death.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
Wherein MixupS Are Many And
EntanglGmGntS Diverse
James S. Montgomery And
FlOrentine Trio CORtfi-
butte To The Excel
IGRCy OF Bill

With every character perfectly por
trayed and every scene admirably
staged, the Ben Greet players delight
ed the largest chautauqua audience
by far yet assembled. with their act
ing of Shakespeare's most comical
Comedy of Errors" Friday evening
AS to the play itself, little need
be said. Its tortuous mix-ups even
4, kept the audience guessing as to
(which Antipholus was which and
which Dromio was the native or for
eigner, while many people in the au'
dience were of the firm conviction
that but two players took the parts oil
both Antipholuses and both Dromios,
SO perfect was the acting. Only those
entirely familiar with the play were
able to decide this, the majority hav-
ing to wait until the last scene Of the
play, when all four characters unex-
pectedly met.
Unstinting in praise for all, the au-
dience universally conceded the hon
ors, however, to the two Dromios be-
cause, after all, Americans have their
sense of humor developed more high
ly than any other part of their make
up and it is always an appeal to this
that scores the biggest hit with the
public. And so it was Friday night.
yr-. .-1x.,d prQqtaSt
hand-clapping energies when the two
Dromios executed some particularly
laughable maneuvers and they, fitting
ly closed the action of the play.
The evidences of the painstaking
labor of the man whose name the
players bear-Ben Greet-were self
evident throughout the entire per-
formance, which was indeed finished
production in every sense of the word.
, And, Judging from the comments
made afterwards, everybody enjoyed
to the limit this farcical play.
In the afternoon, James S. Mont
gomery delivered a powerful lecture
(or should it be called sermonD to
the audience, which was inspiring and
invigorating. AS prelude to both
afternoon and evening performances,
the Florentine Trio, consisting OF two
mandolins and guitar rendered some
troubador music that smacked OF
sunny Italy and was immensely en-
joyed.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
HURLED
An Alarm Clock Entirely
Through Night PrOWlef
Newark Advocate)


Putting burglars to fight with an
alarm clock is a new method OF SELF
defense discovered by Mr.. Speed OF
Western avenue, in a moment OF
tense excitement Thursday morning.
Mr.. Speed was awakened by his
wife about l o'clock, who insisted
that there were burglars in the
house. He listened to peculiar noises
on the first floor which seemed to
substantiate his wife's fears and seiz-
ing the alarm clock rushed to the
scene of robbery. Although the house
was dark, Mr.. Speed could plainly see
the thief in the act of escaping and
promptly and with great presence OF
mind hurled the alarm clock into his
midst. The alarm clock seemed to
pass entirely through the housebreak-
er and struck the kitchen door square
ly in the face. When a light was
flashed upon the room by Mr.. Speed
the foe had vanished without any ap'
parent means of exit from the house
. When the nelghbors came in re-
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
: !. j. 4 !. !. !. !. j. II j. !. !.
: DEATHS +

SiIas Cole.

Silas Cole, one of Mt. Vernon's old
est and most respected citizens, of 211
East Hamtramck street died at the
Mt. Vernon hospital at 6 o'clock Sat.
long illness of heart trouble compli.
Gated with other diseases. He was
born in England and came to Amer.
lea when about thirty years of age.
He was 7S years old at the time of
his death and is survived by one
daughter, Miss Emma Cole, of East
Hamtramck street.
About sixteen months ago Mr. Cole
was seized with an attack of apop.
lexy and was in a very critical condi.
ton for several weeks. He partially
recovered, but suffered numerous at
tacks of heart trouble later. Three
weeks ago he was taken to the hos
pital for treatment and was then in
serious condition. He seemed to be
improving rapidly, however, during the
time that he was there and was able
Friday afternoon to sit out in the
yard and walk around for short time.
He was in good spirits when he re-
tired and very early Saturday morning
when visited by nurse he appeared
to be as well as usual. About one
half hour later he expired.
Mr.. Cole was a blacksmith by trade
and followed this occupation in Mt
Vernon for many years. He was al
one time very active in municipal af
fairs in this city and served for sew
eral terms as councilman from the
Fourth ward. He retired from busi-
ness and from politics when his
health began to decline a few years
ago.
The funeral at the late home on
East Hamtramck street Monday af-
ternoon at 2 o'clock. The services
will be conducted by Rev. E. d. Bar
nett and will be private. Interment in
Mound View cemetery.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1913-08-26
Mrs. Joseph M. Lemon

Word was received yesterday by
her friends and relatives in this city
of the sudden death of Mrs. Joseph M
Lemon, of Philadelphia, Pa, which
occurred at her summer cottage al
Ocean Grove, New Jersey, on the 14th
inst, burial occurring at Philadelphia
on the 10th. Mrs. Lemon was former
ly Miss Kate N. Fordney, daughter
of the late Henry Fordney, of this
city, and a niece of the Misses Mar
garet and Catherine Fordney, of N
Mulberry street. She had been a
resident of Philadelphia since her
marriage in 1895, and is survived by
her husband.