davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
PLAYS IN ENGLIsH PROVINCES

From the New York Telegram.
England is small country. but for all
that the conducting of London plays
throughout its provinces is no small task.
Nine touring companies have been sent
by Mr.. George Edwardes from London
with some of his best known successes
this autumn, and it is interesting to learn
something of the elaborate preparations
necessary for the success of the tour.
Altogether, 500 artists are required. and
they will visit over 100 towns, while each
company requires special train to con-
vey it from town to town.
With the company travel all their neces-
sary assistants, from the man to look
after the wigs to the musicians to supple-
ment local orchestras.
Everything will be an exact reproduce
ton of the piece as played in London.
including the dress.
Only once has George Edwardes COM
pany played without this elaborate back
ground of London scenery
On that occasion the repertoire company
was touring with 81 lorry loads of scenery
during the railway strike, and found
themselves in Dublin without scenery.
The management, however, determined
to produce the piece, and eventually ''The
Dollar Princess was played with great
success by the artists without scenery,
and in the clothes they had worn during
the journey.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
A First Glass Opera Company

The de koven Opera company, which
Will appear here in Robin Hood on
the night of October s--only one perform
anee-is made up of high class artists.
1t will remind old amusement goers of
the Bostonians: the very old amusement
goers of the Boston Ideals.
Robert Goodman, who is in advance of
the de koven company. spent yesterday
IN Birmingham. He is an Atlanta boy
but he came7to Birmingham when this
town was very young, and looked round
for good newspaper position After
working here for a short while he headed
for New York and has made good as an
opera agent.
Birmingham has made marvellous head
way since l was first here said Mr..
Goodman. II was born In Atlanta and
was reared there and, therefore. have
only enthusiastic words for that city.
Atlanta is growing at a more rapid rate
today than ever before. I am glad to
say, however, that Birmingham is also
striding forward.
Il was in Birmingham two years ago
and even since then immense improve
ments have been made here. ! visit from
time to time the various large southern
cities and I can truthfully say that the
most progressive of them are Atlanta and
Birmingham
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
MUFFLTD KNOCkS
le Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune.
Your boys are bright little kids, Mrs.
Civilians. Which of their parents do they
take after?''
That's nice looking, well fitting coat
Of yours Snoodle, and it must be lot
of comfort to know that the moths will
never touch it,
odd chap, like the looks of your new
auto How much of a first payment does
man have to make on machine like
that?'
Smoke all you please, Mr.. Orkins; your
cigars can't possibly be any worse than
my husbands pipe
You mustn't mind my yawning. Mr..
Lingerlong; yawn distressingly even
when I'm having a good time"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
A humorist may look funny in a silk
hat.
Blessed is the thorn that has a rose ia
justify it.
Did it ever strike you that living is an
unsatisfactory job?
Some people grumble because the road to
success isn't paved.
The only way 10 get your moneys worth
IS to live cheerful life.
You'll always lind an appreciative lis
tener when you abuse somebody.
The average man wears out a dozen
pairs of holdhacks to one pair of tugs.
To some women a clear complexion
seems to ne Of more consequence than
a clear conscience.
Many woman can't remember what
Ter husband said when he proposed. be-
cause she did he proposing.
A girl doesn't consider herself fun
nedged woman until she has Knocked a
corner off at least one mans heart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
THE LIMIT.

l We sweetness to burn in my makeup;
| never indulge in coarse spats:
But hanker to mash with sickening
crash
Inc Aleck who smashes straw hats.
Peoria Journal
m not prone to give way to my feelings;
very seldom my temper | lose;
But will IL l can get the goat of the
man
Who steps on my lilly white shoes.
= Chicago Inter Ocean.
have a most villanous temper;
Just nothing at all makes me hot:
But the Sfdlets who smudge I'D my col
lar with fudge
Don't get crossloolS or a. swat.
Houston Post.
I try to be placid and gentle,
But that fellow I'm waiting to choke.
Who reads my post cards, with thesr
Love- or Regards"
And thinks It practical joke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
LUKE M'LuKE SAYS
he Cincinnati Enquire.

From the Cincinnati Enquire.
Limburger isn't such much as n
smell. just get alongside guy who has
been drinking cheap booze and who is
wearing an overcoat that has just been
dug out of the moth balls.
When 8 princess catches a man staring
at her in a street car she jerks at her
skirt and tries to pull it down over her
ankles, just as though it was long enough
to come anywhere near them
A girl can afford to turn up her nose at
man when she is 49, But it is different
when she is 20.
Ihe reason father never loses mothers
umbrella is because it hasn't any crook
on the handle SO he can hang it on a
bar and leave it there
What has become of the old fashioned
boy who used to play a Jews harp?
Before marriage she sits up late with
him. After marriage she sits up late
without him.
II a man could get all he thinks he
needs he would have enough for 90 or
80 people.
Even when a girl has pimples ON her
face 1t Is a great comfort to her to know
that she has pretty eyes.
| Give any woman time enough and She
contradict herself.
| One reason why woman doesn't need
an accident policy when she travels is be-
cause she has on brand new underwear
and doesn't care what happens
The trouble with the reformers who
nave message for the world is that
they always send it collect.
| What has become of the old fashioned
man who carried a horse chestnut to ward
off rheumatism?
I a fat woman tries to fool people by
strapping herself inside straight front.
But there is NO way you can hide three
! chins and get away with it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
GOLDENROD

BY Elaine G. Eastman.
When the wayside tangles blaze,
In the low September sun;
When the flowers of summer days
Droop and wither, one by one,
heaefling up tilrough bush and brier,
Sumptuous brow and heart OF fire.
Haunting high its wind rocked plume,
brave with wealth of native bloom
Goldenrod!
When the meadow lately shorn,
Parched and languid, swoons with pain
When her life blood, night and morn,
Shrinlss in every throbbing vein,
Round he rfallen, tarnished urn,
Leaping watch fires brighter burn;
Royal arch Ger autumn's gate.
Bending low with lustrous weight
Goldenrod!
III the pastures rude embrace,
All o'elrun with tangled vines.
Where the thistle claims its place,
And the struggling hedge confines.
Rearing still the sweet impress
OF unfetteIed loveiness.
In the field and by the wall,
Binding, clasping, crowning all
Goldenrod!
Nature lies disheveled pale,
With her feverish lips apart
Day by day the pulses fail
Nearer to her bounding heart;
Yet that slackened grasp doth hold
Store of pure and genuine gold;
Quick thou comest. strong and free,
Type Of all the wealth to be-
Goldenrod!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
From Bachelors viewpoint

Il notice that the ladies OF St. Antony $
church at Ensley are experiencing some
difficulty in securing judges for the baby
show that will be held Friday afternoon
in connection with their bazar," said a
we'll known bachelor. f
This is not to be wondered at for of
all the difficult things in this world is to
act as judge at a baby show. In the first
place bachelors are generally selected
for this purpose and what the average
bachelor knows about babies would hardly
qualify him to pass on their species.
but the hard part of the proposition
is not merely selecting one or two vim
ners. but is facing a crowd of mothers
whose babies did not get prize, after the
awards are made. They are generally
too mad to say anything. but if looks
could kill. the unluclzy judge would be
dead before he could sneak out of the
back door. for that is all there is for him
to do know whereof / speak for 1 acted
in that capacity on one occasion and be-
lieve me, once is plenty"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
TWO TYPES or DRINKERS

Jack London in John Barleycorn.
There are, broadly speaking, two types
OF drinkers. There is the man we all
lxnow--stupid, unimaginative, whose brain
is bitten numbly by numb maggots, who
walks generously with widespread, tenta-
tive legs, falls frequently in the gutter
and who sees in the extremity OF his
ecstasy blue mice and pink elephants He
is the type that gives rise to the jokes in
the funny papers.
The other type y drinlSer has imagina-
ton vision Even when most pleasantly
jingled he walks straight and naturally,
never staggers nor falls. and knows just
where he is and what he is doing. 1t Is
not his body, but his brain that is drunk
en-. He may bubble with wit or expand
with good fellowship Or he may see in
'tellectua1 speeters and phantoms that are
cosmic and logical, and that takes the
forms of syllogisins. 1t is when in this
condition that he strips away the husks
of life's healthiest illusions and Gravely
considers the iron collar of necessity
welded about the neck of his soul This
is the hour of John Barleycorn's subtlest
power 1t is easy for any man to roll in
the gutter But it is terrible ordeal
for man to stand up right on his two
legs unswaying and decide that in all the
universe there is for himself but one
freedom namely, the anticipating of the
day of his death. sss .,-r 3.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
his sYs sTEM
From the washington Star.

FTUnf C1Te W
Farmers take life a little easier,
thanks to their various unions and COM
binations, than they used to do
The speaker was John H. Kimble OF
Port Deposit, secretary of the Farmers
National Congress- an organization of
100000 farmers. He continued:
Farmers are not nowadays like old
Cornelius Husk A new hand said to the
old man one morning in the harvest sea-
son:
II suppose you believe in the eight hour
system, Corney?"
That's what | do. grunted old Corn.
Husk, as he swung his pitchfork vigor-
ously., Eight hours in the forenoon,
eight hours in the afternoon, and two
or three hours overtime arter supper in
the hay and harvest season--that's my
system. y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
NO CHANCE.

when was your age. son, I didn't
run about town at night and spend my
money on chorus girls"
father say that he only allowed you a
dollar a week for spending money!
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
WEARY OF WAITING.

DO you believe that opportunity knocks
at least once on every mans door?'
i II don't know whether LIDO or not. So
many people have taken up my time who
claimed to be Opportunity in disguise that
have about reached the conclusion that
when Opportunity means business she
sends man a telegram
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
TRULY GIFTED.

'I have heard a number of brilliant
women say that Dobson is a very enter
taining conversationalist."
That's because when he is with them
all. Dobson ever says is, Quite so,' Yes,
indeed 'Really?' and You don't tell
mer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

Rumor has II that Porfirio Diaz will be
a candidate for The presidency of Mexico
in the forthcoming election in that rcvo-
luton infested country. One would think
that senor Diaz had got his fill OF ruling
his native land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
WHERE THEY CAN MEET
! the Nashville Democrat.

From the Nashville Democrat.
Birmingham is to have municipal aud
itorium. 1t will be convenient for the tax,
payers to gather every few days and tell
what they think the city ought to do for
them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

When a young man Who doesn't have
TO work for a living acquires a so-horse-
power automobile and a thirst for aico-
holic stmulants, his chances of surviving
long enough to become useful citizen
are hardly worth considering.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
AND THAT SETTLED TT.

A woeful man was William spinks, who
laid plan to take six drinks. but ere he
had consumed the first. in hopes to 'suage
a burning thirst, his wife, whose hand
was far from light, said, "Bill, you stay
at home tonight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
Valuable Publications

The Alabama official and statistical
register for 1913, which comes from the
department of archives and history, is
an invaluable work. said citizen. "The
register is compiled by Thomas NJ. owen.
LII. D., who is known as the states
painstalSins archislst. In the prefatorv
note 1t Is said: This volume is prepared
and published under the authority con-
tained in section of act of February ~.
1901
In the preparation of the register the
greatest possible care has been put forth
to secure perfect accuracy. No question:
able facts have, so far as known, been
admitted. The very latest data and stat
istics have been given as far as obtain
able.
one of the most attractive features of
the register is found in the introduction
Entomology of the Name of Alabama,
etc. Under the general head of intro
duction will be found historical data;
also the state song by Julia S. Tutwiler;
description of the state seal, and de-
scription of the State Fair, and also, a
paragraph under the head Of the state
flower. No large publication is letter per-
fection. or as we might say. free from
mistakes. In this official register, under
the head OF state holidays, we find Good
Friday. Good Friday should be a legal
holiday. but a few Years ago Thomas JEFF
ferson's birthday was made a legal holi-
day at the expense. it seems, of Good Fri
day. At any rate, Good Friday is not a
legal holiday In Alabama. The New
York World Almanac, which is quoted as
an authority on most questions, has been
nlislel by the Montgomery end concern
ing this question. 'rhe Almanac has Good
rriday as legal holiday In Alabama'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Increaslnr ActiYiIr in IRON Trnde

The Birmingham iron market is very
brisk at sli.5o on a No. , basis" said a
broker yesterday considerable tonnage
has been sold at si1.5o and the word has
gone out that the price will be S12 by
the first of October.
Unless all signs fail we will see $3.50
iron before the holidays. believe that
in January. 1914 no birmingham iron
can be bought for less than 81 ON No.
basis,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

1t would be a pity to disappolnt the Az
lanta boosters. Who are now In Birming-
ham with huge banner worded thus:
ATLANTA. 100000 by 1920 but can Bir-
mingham and Atlanta both have 800 600
inhabitants?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
sTE.ENsoN's MnDIcfNE norTLEs

From the Kansas City Star.
For many years Robert Louis Stevenson
was a confirmed invalid, But you never
would guess it from his books. IN "A letter
to a friend he speaks of the fact ttat he
always has regarded the medicine bottles
on the shelf as the merest incident and
hasn't permitted them to color his life
That is the normal attitude of people
toward their Individual feelings. The av-
erage healthy minded person is occupied
with things outside himself.
The distinctive badge of the sort of in.
validism that really hurts. is an excess
sive preoccupation with aches an dpains
that are essentially incidental and pri-
vate. That sort of preoccupation strikes
the normal person as unwholesome. 1t is.
For it makes the invalid take one-sided
view of life.
The remedy is to get outside interests,
as Stevenson did. The invalid can't stop
thinking about himself by merely trying
to STOP But he can stop by finding some
interestings things to think about.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

The civic Improvement committee of the
Chamber of Commerce has indorsed the
grade crossing plan. Something besides
Endorsement must be accomplished be-
fore Birmingham is rid of the evil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

Madame Bernhardt relates an exper-
ience she had during the French revolu-
ton. Oh, well, everybody knows how old
Sarah is, anyhow
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

When play depends for its punch,
on highly immoral situation and that
particular situation is forbidden by the
police authorities, where is the salaeious
playwright to get off?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES
HEAVY.

DO you carry watch, Dipple?''
Yes and it's all I can do to carry it.
too. It's the dollar kind"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

A Kansas man travelling abroad is
much chagrined to learn that the BLUE
Danube" of waltz fame, is the color Of
mud. Perhaps he hasn't a poets eyes
and lacks the symphonic moods of a
composer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
AUTUMN JOY.

Who threads these days
The autumn wood,
Doth look on life
And find 1T good,
His happy heart
Doth hope renew
That all his dreams
viii yet come true.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

These cool nights make for sound sleep
and more than one weary soul has awolSe
in the morning to find that he was due
at the office 80 minutes ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

People who write about "opossum and
potatoes are NOT to the manner born.
That justly famous dish is called sepos-
sum and taters."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
Example of Luxurious Ease

The sun was shining in soft Septem-
ber rays, when there came leisurely
along that pretty boulevard. Seventh ave-
hue a moving picture of luxurious ease
said an observant man.
"A pair of young steers walked quietly
Notwithstanding the loud crack of a long
lashed whip, and switched their tails over
their backs at attacking flies. Seated
upon a padded seat. with his knees mug
Sing large, covered swil barrel, was
an ebony black negro, ever and amor
plying the lash to his easy-going kline, oil
cracking 1t over them. They did no.
seem to mind. A Battered tin bucket
hooked on behind, shone in the sunlight
When I aceosted the driver. with, Want
to-trade-for an autonobile?' white pearls
of content shown in his mouth, as he
smiled, cracked his whip and replied
No, sir; boss
Would that some of us could pull
the load of daily life with the same pa
tience, the same indifference to the lash
of 'do-your-duty'; and that we misht
bear the whips and scorns of life more
patiently.o
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
EXPENSIVE TOY.

Il don't see you out in your motor car
any more
mo. I'm already out 50 much on ac-
count of that car that 1 can no longer
afford to buy gasoline"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
organizing nm Army With Book.

1t is interesting to see any army with
banners and bayonets getting into for
nation, but to see any army of school
children equipped with books. in process
of organization into grades and scrools,
is most pleasing sight to me-" said
the head of family.
DR. j. II. Phillips, superintendent OF
the public schools, is just about to find
21,000 school children in Birmingham's s
schools placed in grades, classes ard
the various subdivision schools. Some
classes have to be divided up, and vet
others, owing to the overcrowded condi-
tons, by reason of lack of room. Fave
had to be placed in annexes-cottages
in some instances erected on school prop
erty, and others rented for the purpose.
BY the way, thus far II cottages are
In use as annexes to the principal white
schools and p are in use for the negro
schools
l learn from Dr. Phillips that over o1,-
ooV children are already enrolled, but that
the complete rosters will not be ready
until October l. The increase, annually.
aproximates 1000 children, and this rate
will be greater with proper housing ia
cilities Year by year the numbsf of
teachers has to be increased, of course .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

Ihe Old squirrel gun will soon be pop
ping in the mountain districts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
CAUSED A FURRY.

''There was great excitement in the
stock market yesterday
What happened?'
"a noted plunger said he felt bully and
the street thought he said 'bullish .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25
SAME THING.

"Dobbs is a great reader of fiction.
I've never seen him with book in his
hand"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

Maybe not. but he devours all the adj
vertisements of suburban real estate"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

TELEPHONE
Bell (privete exchange connec
deparfmentsl, Main 49O0.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-25

<csdti'1s'' y sn ''4es : slt, J,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-03-25
BIG TENNIS
TOURNEY HERE

Tacoma tennis enthusiasts have
arranged for two championship
Journeys to be held in this city
this year. The first one will be
the regular Tacoma Tennis club
championship competition and
will be held August 4 to 8. The
international tournament will be
held in conjunction and the two
tournaments will bring the great
est number of tennis stars to this
city that have ever congregated
In any city in the west.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-03-25
BOXERS READY
FOR EAGLES
SMOKER

Today Is the last day for the
boxers scheduled to appear at the
Eagles smoker Thursday night
to work in the gym. All heavy
work will be dropped and light
exercise will be the order for the
rest of the week.
Interest in the main event Is of
course greatest. Hagen is an old
favorite in Tacoma, having made
his first appearance here with
Jack Lester some time ago. Keep
key is new man at the boxing
game and his only asset is terri
fic punch.
Pat Hunt will not appear with
Harry Musson. Hunt was injur-
ed severely in training last Sat-
urday afternoon and it is doubt
full if he will be able to box again
this spring. No opponent has
been slected as yet for Musson
Jack Howard is in readiness
for his match with Pat Dorian,
the Seattle demon.
Manager Shanxlin announced
last night that the advance seat
sale was the greatest in the his
tory Of Tacoma smokers and that
he thought the house would be
sold out before 8 o'clock again.
The bouts will begin at S:15
promptly.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-03-25

HOT SPRINGS, ARK, March %.
Barney Dreyfuss Stung!"
Marty O'Toole Loses Another
Camel"
How often in 1912 did these
words decorate sorting pages in
big, black head-letter type?
How often did the fans say,
Gust as thought?"
"These million dollar stars
never make good"
'O'Toole's bloomer and Bar
ney's stung, stinged, stand!"
The average fan doesn't an
alyze.
Cool analysis proves O'TooIe
made good" Manager Clarke
and Owner Dreyfuss of Pitts
burg are content. They would
have liked to see him do better,
but his 1912 work SPEAKS large
for a great 1913 season.
Sy Geology played a winning
hand against O'Toole last year.
Had he Joined the Pirates minus
the blatant publicity, the chances
are his record would have form
ed the ground work for even the
fans to build great hopes upon
for 1913.
That $22,500 check was the
blow that killed O'TooIe. Marty
was press-agented to death. Only
a pitching average of 1000 would
have satisfied the fans-and prob
ably they would have growled If
every game was not shut out.
Secretary John Heydler in.
1912 made two tables of Nation
al league pitchers. One showed
games won and lost. The other
the runs per game for which each
pitcher was responsible. In the
first list O'Toole stood 9th, hay
ing wone 10 and lost IL games.
In the second he ranked ill.,
ahead Of Camnitz, Alexander, !
Cheney, Adams, Suggs, Richie,
Lavender, Moore, Ruelback, Bren-
nan, Perdue and Harmon. Ill
O'Toole's opponents made 110l
runs, but in Heydler's A1ist he Isl
responsible for but SO, an aver
age of 2.72 per game. He was
hit 237 times, walked 1891 bait
tiers and famed $50, made two
wild pitches and hit two batters.
Over-anxiety to make good,
because Of the press-agenting
and the high price he brought;
bone-headed base running by
Pittsburg; lack of timely hitting
and the fact that every club saved
its stars to pitch against him
these things initiated against
0'Toole.
Records show O'TooIe pitched
splendidly He should have won