New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-01-26
SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR JANUARY 1913
|SEVEN KEYS TO BALDPATE

holy tina, I'm that kid I'm Sam Burns.
What proof DO YOU want, DO YOU rcmern-
Der old Ell Haywood used 10 keep the drug
store right across from the poStoitlcc, the
guv that never washed his windows, do.
And Mis-, Hunter, that taught the sixth
grade school when We went there "a little
woman with washcd-out gray eyes and a
broken front tooth, And that pretty little
GIRL Sarah somebody wait a minute, III
yet il or bust Sarah Sarah Sarah scott,
YOU used To- be- 50 sweet on? Did YOU marry
her. Mark, And Old Late Perkins, who used
10 be- on hand whenever there was any re-
pairs being made anywhere, rheumatism
and a cane and a high sQucaky voice that he
used To exercise giving orders about things
that wasn't any Of his business; why,
Mark. | remember 'cm all! Good Lord,
Mani SAYS Sam, do YOU want any more
proof?
But this country blockhead just looked
Sam up and down. and remarks JudiciouS,
lis certainly wonderful how YOU know all
these things Wonderful. But you can't
fool me- he says, you can't fool Mark Den
men,"
MAX paused in his narrative for mo-
lVA mcnt. The sound Of voices came up
from the Office Of Baldpate Inn. One, that
Of the Mayor. doomed loudly and angrily.
In an evident desire TO drown 1t, Max went
on with spirit
We'll. Gentlemen, il got to be point of
honor. as YOU might say, for Sam to con-
vince that guy He told me he never
wanted anything SO much III his lite as for
Mark Dcnncn TO give in. II was hot alter
noon, and he'd come aboard that boat for a
rest but he peeled of his collar and started
in. He gave Mark Dcnncn the number OF
bricks in the Methodist Church, as reported
in The Rcadsboro Citizen at the time 1t
was built He told him the name of the
piece Mark sister rccitcd at the school en-
tcrtainmcnt in the spring OF 1890. He
bounded on all four sides the lot where the
crcuScS PLAYED when they came TO Reads
boro He named every citizen of the town,
living or dead, that ever got To be known
outside his own family, and he brought chill
drcn into the world and married them and
read the funeral service over them. And still
that bonchcad from the woods sat there, his
mouth open, and SAYS, It's beyond me how
you know al that. You New Workers are
slickcr then | give We credit for But you
can ioOl me. on am Sdill DulllS. WHY,
| went 10 school with him.
They was drawing near Concy now,
went on Max and Sans face was purple
and ne WAS dripping with pcrspration, and
rafting of RcadSboro happenings at the
rate Of ten second; but that Mark Dcnncn
he sat there and wouldn't bulge from his
high horse. So they came up To the pier,
Sam almost weeping real tears and pleading
like his heart would break, Mark. don't
YOU remember that time we threw little Bill
Barnaby into the swimming hole, and he
couldn't swim stroke and nearly drowned
on us? and still getting the stony face from
his old pal
And on the pier this Dcnncn held out his
hand To Sam, who was a physical wreck and
a broken man by this time, and says, You
sure are cute, Mister. I'll have great times
telling this in RcadSboro. Once YOU met
one too smart for We, ch? Much obliged for
your company, anyhow And he went away
and left Sam leaning against the railing, with
no faith in human nature no more. hope
somebody got to him, says Sam to me, and
got to him good. He's the kind that if YOU
work right YOU can sell stock in a company
for starting roof gardens on the tops of the
pyramids in Egypt. I'd trimmed him my
self, says Sam to me; but | hadn't the
heart"
Max finished, and again from below came
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