davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
yVTAsHINGToN, January 5.-(spe-
w cial)-Oscar Underwood, chair

.W/AsHINaroN' January 5--Cspe-
A cial.)-Oscar Underwood, chair
W man of the ways and means
committee. and floor leader of the majori-
ty. cabinet possibility, and recent candi-
date for the presidential nomination of the
democratic party, and one of the most
popular men in public life with the news
paper fraternity, has moved into his new
home at 1000 G street. Thereby hangs a
tale. The tale is entitled. 1.-The Mystery
of the Missing. Telephone Number"
The other day l had occasion to talk
with the democratic leader; he could not
be located at his office or his club, there
fore l assumed that he was at home. He
frequently goes home-thus demonstrating
What his friends have often claimed for
him, that he is entirely different from
other statesmen. l concluded that would
call him up on the phone and have lit
tie friendly chat. l often do that way
with the biggest men up here just to keep
them in a good flumor and TO continue
them under the impression that l do not
consider myself better than they are.
But | could not find Mr.. Underwood
name in the directory. l did not consider
TINS strange, however, inasmuch as he
had just moved into his new home, or per-
haps, thought, he has not paid his last
months bill. But I called for informa-
tion, and asked her If Mr.. Underwood had
telephone. She said that he did. Give
me the number, said l. Not much,"
says she, "Mr. Underwood has a private
phone, and under no circumstances are
We to divuge the number"
Young lady, l says, assuming as much
dignity as possible over telephone, you
are now talking to one of Mr. Under
woods closest friends and confidential ad-
visers; demand that telephone number"
Observation-Disclosures she says.
Thatswhattheyallsay. 1 did SO. There
is no use trying to argue with a peevish
young woman, who is a total stranger.
and who has her mouth full of chewing
gum and harsh language, over tele-
lady when I can look her in the eye and
queli her with my personal magnetism.
but | am not fluent enough in my native
tongue to hold my own with the average
recognize my inefficiency along this line
and cheerfully admit it.
Besides that, l live at 1923 G street my
self. That is one reason Mr. Underwood
bought the house at 1000 G. Just as soon
as he heard that lived at 1923. Mr.. I'm
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
BUTTERFLIES

BY Harlowe Randall Hoyt.
Butterflies, golden, and red, and brown,
Dancing delirious to and fro,
Light as the ghost of a thistle down,
Where do you come from? Where do.
you go?
Fitting your fairy minuette,
Silent as sunbeams you seem to be,
Catching their gossamere CLEANS; and
yet
You are the spirit of melody.
Back through the dark of the ages fed,
When the world was young in IL
coat of green,
Bearded Pan raised his shaggy head
BY the reedy marshes of Thrasymene:
And he seized his pipes, for his heart
was rife
With the thrill that pulsed through
each leaf and tree,
And he piped of Spring and the joy Of
Till the forest echoed his melody.
And the Quiet people flocked forth tos
hear:
Dryad and nymph. from wood and
stream;
Satyr, and faun, and the timid deer,
Harking with velvet eyes agleam
As If 'twere the ghost of the tune, in
deed,
Each liquid note, as 1t raised on high
Sprang from the end of the brown,
dead. reed,
Into a fluttering butterfly.
No more they listen to shaggy Pan,
Piping his Tilt by the water there;
Ages ago they fled the van
OF mortals, heightened with woe and ;
Care.
But still from the reeds OF the riverside.
When the winds are whispering faus
cies free
Butterflies. fiuttering far and wide.
Spring from the magic melody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
HIS rEMPERANcE SERMON
en- the Chicago Inter-Ocean.

Frcm the Chicago Inter Ocean
The temperance reformer was justly
proud of having converted the biggest
drunkard in a little Scotch town, and
induced him-he was the local grave
digger--to get on the platform and
spout his experiences
MY friends" he said, " never, never
thocht to stand upon this platform
with the provost on one side of me
and the toon clerk on the ither side
of me- | never thocht to tell We that
for whole month, l haven't touched
a drap of anything. I've saved enough
to buy me Draw oak coffin wi brass
handles and brass nails-and If I'm a
teetotaler for anither month shall be
wantin' it!''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
JErFERsoNIAN SIMPLICITY

From the New YORK sun.
Some of our democratic friends are
talking about Jeffersonian simplicity;
some democratic statesmen are trying or
are expected to practice It,
The only genuine Jeffersonian simplicity
Is the belief, if anybody really cherishes
1t. that such a thing ever existed out
side of the fairy tales of politics.
Thomas jefferson was one of the most
accomplished men of his age, an athlete,
horseman, shot, a dilettante, violin
ist, interested in a hundred arts ana
sciences and elegancies, from dancing and
dining to agriculture, architecture and
landscape gardening and forestry. He
capered in nimbly with the girls In the
governors palace" at Williamsburg. Aft
erN ard he became familiar with the most
polished society of Europe. In this age
she would be regarded as plutocrat, an
aristocrat, dude and he probably
couldn't be elected constable.
Mr. Jenerson's great stroke in life, that
fine art In which he was SO successful,
was his loving where there was property
He married a rich widow, without en-
cumbrances; in less than year her
father oblgingly went off the scene, leav
ing some 1900 acres of land and lot of
slaves.
The horseback inauguration legend has
been exposed as many times as the
green goods game. Let us be content to
say that throughout such parts of these
United States as were settled in 1901 JEFF
fersons accession was celebrated by more
bands and marchings and celebrations
and salvos and triumphal arches and
general gilt, fuss and absurd parading
legs-in proportion to population-than
any other event before the visit of La
fayette in 1924. There was no Jefferson
ian simplicity among the Jeffersonians.
1t may be added for the reproof and ad-
monition of Jeffersonian statesmen that
no people in the world is less fond of
Jeffersonian simplicity than this nation of
all races, no other people visible to the
eye of heaven so dotes' on brilliant togs
and frogs and titles, is so pleased with
a button, tickled with plume
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
Dividing Honors ON parcel Post

II read in the newspapers of gratu-
lations and congratulations anent the
Inauguration of the parcel post, and
they are all very well, but 1 myself
wish to say word in praise of p. ".
De Graw, Fourth Assistant Postmaster"
said Percy Clark.
In 1885, when 1 went to Washing
to as a correspondent p. W. as he was
known on the Rotten Row of news
paper life in Washington, was the head
of the United Press, rival news SER
vice of the Associated Press. He was
one of the very best of fellows, and
gentleman every inch of him. Perry
Heath, prominent in politics and New
York banking circles, was one of the
U. p reporters. Well. We used to dis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
MONTAIGNE ON KISSING

From the London Chronicle.
The kissing habits of his time did
not please Montaigne: ut is the dear
price makes viands SAVIOR the better"
he wrote. See how the form of salu-I
tation doth by its facility bastardize the
grace of kisses. 1t Is an unpleasant and
injurious custom unto ladies that they
must afford their lips to any man that
hath but three lackies following him,
however loathsome he be. Nor do we
ourselves gain much by 1t, for as the
world is divided into four parts, so for
four fair ones We may kiss so foul;
and to nice and delicate stomach one
i'll kiss doth surplus one good"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
You Shall mark
Oil Profits Last Year

The Sd companies into which the oil
trust was divided made in 1912 from
90 to 100 per cent more than the old
trust ever did in a single year. All
have their Offices at 26 Broadway and
they are just as closely tied together
as they were before dissolution took
place by order of the supreme court.
Holders of the old stock and of the
pro rata of subsidiaries received in
1912 dividends equivalent to $6O.49 a
share, as against $40 share before
the trust had been dissolved. The big
gest dividend paid by any Standard
Oil subsidiary in the year was that of
the Continental Oil company, which
was equivalent to 70 per cent. In adj
dition to these distributions, however,
big "melons" were cut, the Standard
Oil Company of Indiana paying one
dividend of 1000 per cent in the shape
of stock.
Oil and gasoline and all other prod
ucts of the wells have been advanced
in pricesA and the entire collection of
companies are in booming condition.
Once subsidiary they are now theo-
retically independent, but they all pull
and work together, and their earnings
are greater than ever before in the
history of the industry. Every share in
the 81 companies is soaring and it is
difficult to purchase any shares at
any time
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

FROM the New YORK PresS.
Lovers quarrels lead to the altar
married folks to the divorce court
After bathing beach days the very
thin girl has her chance In the fur
season.
No matter how sorry woman eau
be for herself about her husband, she
can be sorrier for her friends about
|theirs.
sThere can never be race suicide 50
long as there are few millionaires 20
stimulate the growth of population
|among poor relatives.
When man is going to marry
girl at 20 that weighs 1f5 pounds, sne
'ought not to let him see what that
docks like in her mother at 40-odu'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

'srhe wren's Nest" the Atlanta home
of Joel Chandler Harris. is now paid
for, and the title vested In the Uncle
Rcmus association" II will long remain
a memorial to the genial author whose
books have become as popular in one Sec
tion of the country as another.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Colonel Roosevelt and Mr.. Taft sat
within so feet of each other at the funeral
of Whitelaw Reid, but they did not speak
to each other. They have not met since
October Is, 1911, and Mr.. Taft's recent as
seult on the progressive party will not
hasten another meeting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

The death of Mrs Goelet in Paris rem
ders her only son. Robert w. Goelet,
the wealthiest society bachelor in Amer
lea. He is worth $6o,0o0,000. The prop
erty chiefly consists of realty holdings In
New York to which unearned increment
is added yearly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
.olorado's new woman senator is known

as Mrs. Senator Robinson. She was
CALAMITY given the choice of seat, and
she removed her hat as a preliminary to
business. She will take a prominent part
in the senate proceedings. In the house is
MIS-. Agnes L. Riddle, representative.
She, too, will be heard from before the
session is ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
The New ore Company

Il was glad to read in The Age-Herald
that the owners of the large tract of
red ore land In Shades valley below OK
moor had organized a company-The
Self-Fluxing Ore & Iron company--with
ample capital and would proceed at once
to sink slope shaft for the purpose
of mining merchant ore" said MEM
Der of the Chamber of Commerce.
ut often happens that those who buy
valuable mineral property do SO for the
purpose of selling to one of the going
corporations; but in the case referred
to the owners found no difficulty In get
ting together large local capital for de-
veopment.
I understand there is always. a de-
mand for ore of good quality and the
new company will have the good wishes
of the Birmingham public
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

London is pretty sure to have at least
two kings and a half She has her own
George and Portuguese Manuel all the
time, and HaaRon of Norway and Alphon-
SO OF Spain now. and then.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Senator r. NJ. Johnston Of Houston
is not only an editor. but he is Geor-
gian by birth. and he was a soldier of the
Confederacy. He must therefore be about
70 years old, but he is still good for
two months service in Washington.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Henry F. Holds. a democrat expects to
become an United States senator for New
Hampshire by means of the joint votes
of progressives and democrats. He is a
radical democrat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

DIR. Max Nordau, leader of the Zionist
movement, is urging the securing of fav-
orable terms from the Turks for Jewish
colonizing in Palestine. The Jews are
There are 10000 Jews in Palestine now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

DIR. Frank Mallory, associate professor
of pathology atrHarvard, has cornered the
elusive whooping cough germ. He calls it
the bacillus pertussis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Hong Kong is awaiting the opening Of
Its department store. The manager of 1t
is to be Chinaman from Australia. 1t
viii occupy eight four story buildings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

The rich celebrate their nuptials while
the plain people simply get married.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Bishop Doane of Albany criticises the
suffragists' hike to Albany as an adver-
tising dodge. Well, bishop, it pays to
advertise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

cuss government ownership OF the
telegraph in connection with the post
office department / always insisted
that along with 1t should go the parcel
post business. but that was considered
a far-off- dream as to prospects, De
cause of the railroad and express fn-
fieuences in the halls of Congress. No'
so as to the telegraph company ior
even so able and far-sighted a pupiie
man as Senator Morgan in discussihs
the matter with. me stated 1t as MS
opinion that the Western Union hau
watered its stock enormously In an
ticipation of turning the business over
to the government.
But to the parcel post and DE
oraw: When | took up the open adVo-
cacy of the parcel post come In touch
with my erstwhile friend, who was
especially in charge of all information
on that subject. 1 feel sure ne is en-
titled to much credit in popularizing
the subject, and 1t certainly needeo
friends, for It's opponents were weii
organized and had all the sinews OF
war Yea more, they some times shot
poisoned arrows from ambush IN cir
cular FORM I was made to feel these,
when in a candidacy of protest more
than the hope of winning, l went over
into my old district, the Fourth, ana
made personal canvass against VIII
liam b. Craig. l was the first man IN
Alabama who, upon the stump and IN
public print, dared to boldly demand
the parcel post this after warning
from friends that 1 would be seriously
Handicapped It was then that the Re-
tail Grocers' association issued a cir
cular attacking me in my congressional
race and painting ruin to the business
interests. l rejoice and am exceed-
ingly glad, now we have 1t. L think
Postmaster General Hitchcock has won
fame everlasting; I believe John War
namaker deserves large share OF
praise; 1 know p. w., my friend of
other days, is entitled to part of the
credit
Next, I hope to see the government
own a telegraph system in connection
with the postoffice service-why not?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

John d. did not have to save pennies.
He saved dividend checks by the hatfull.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
Feast of the Epiphany

In the liturgical churches today is
known as the feast of the Epiphany. Ii
commentaries the manifestation of the
Infant Jesus to the Magi. As the feast
comes 12 days after Christmas IL ii
known as Twelfth Day.
In some of the Latin countries Eplp-
hany is celebrated with as much joy
and gladness and is as generally OBJ
served as. Christmas day. 1t ds called
the gentle Christmas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

The parcel post has already cut the
one half.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
THE TRUTH ABOUT TOBACCO

Three hundred thousand people go daily
to picture shows in New York city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

The oldest newsboy is dead at the age
of los. He sold papers in the streets OF
Joliet, Ill.,, up to a few days ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

This month a President of the United
States will be elected. The betting still
runs in favor of Woodrow Wilson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06
Assistant secretary of Agriculture

ASs1StuuN SecFctufy Oh
IT am glad to see that a southern man
is to be urged for the important position
of assistant secretary of agriculture In
Mr.. Wilson's administration, and that
the gentleman prominently mentioned for
the place is Alexander ID. Hudson of
Newberry. s. c." said man who is In
close touch with the farmers.
MIR. Hudson is a native of Alabama
and has many friends and relatives In
this state. He married South Carolina
lady and moved to that state where he
has been farming in a scientific manner
for many years with good success. He
is student of all branches of agricul-
ture and horticulture His farm in South
Carolina has for several years been TIM
der the supervision of one of the best
government experts and he has kept in
close connection with Clemson college
work
"Mr. Hudson has practlced regu-
lar rotation of crops and has in this
way so improved his lands that he will
soon be able to do without commercial
fertilizer. lie organized the Interstate
Corn exposition and as it's president all
most alone and unaided, has made great
| success of it and thereby has done more
to encourage corn growing in the south
than any one else had ever done. By
a special invitation he visited the Ma
| tional Corn exposition in Iowa and made
such favorable impression there as
to induce the exposition management to
hold the next exhibition in Columbia,
South Carolina.
MIR. lIudsoa's father was Thomas
| Hudson, a weii known politician and
newspaper man Ii Alabama for over 40
years
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

a ball in the rotunda of the capitol amid
those horrors of marble and bronze has
been compared to dancing at a funeral.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

1t is generally agreed that Woodrow
Wilson is long headed man, not merely
level headed one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

1t is said the suffragists who marched
to Albany got nothing but corns in
their stockings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Those who swear off one day should
net swear on the next day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

No communication will be published
without it's authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

z e. Morgan and w. g. Wharton are
the only authorized travelling represent
atives of The Age-Herald In its cirsu-
lation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald Will
not be responsible for money sent
khrough the mails. Address,.
THE AGE ERALD.
Birmingham. Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Entered at. the Birmingham. Ala.
postoffice as second class matter under
act Of Congress March 3. 1879 -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. -. $500
Daily and Sunday, per month";. -7l
Daily and Sunday, three months. zoo
Sunday Age-Herald ............ zoo
Weekly Age-Herald. per annum.. 90
Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-06

TELEPHONES
Bell (private exchange connecting nj
separtmcnts), No. 1900.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1913-03-14
LOCAL AND PERSONAL
Be a live one-advertise!


Pressed timothy hay for sale, 81
per ton--Wilson, the Land Man. 3
Easter Opening at Miss Collins
| millinery store, Saturday March 18th
| Cards and indexes for card indel
systems at the News Budget office.
Alsike and timothy seed, mixed
$500 per bushel-Wilson the Ian,
Man. IT
Arthur Jensen, of Withee, il nov
employed as pharmacist at Dimock'i
drug store.
DR.. L. M. Landmark accompanied
a patient to Marshfield hospita
Saturday night.
Mrs. J. A. Hewitt left last nigh
for Grand Rapids, Mich, to receive
hospital treatment.
Don't fail to see "a Box of Mon
keys" to be presented by local tai
ent at the opera house next Thurs
day and Friday evenings.
The approaching election bids fail
to be a warm" one. Strong candi
dates are IT. the field and some very
close votes can be looked for
Will Pagel, formerly Of this city
is at Chicago at present and war
operated upon the first Of the week
a piece Of bone being removed from
his nose. He was still in bed at last
reports.
Our prices and quality are right
in the Jewelry line. We make nc
charge On a reasonable amount ei
engraving on jewelry purchased here
E. A. Page. Optician. Jeweler and
Engraver. Adv
Mr.. and Mrs. E. M. Squier and
son. Lawrence, We're visitors here
yesterday, stopping off enroute from
Luck, Wis, to their new home al
Sturgeon Bay. They were guests al
the home of Mr.. and Mrs. Mark r.
Bell
Keep your valuable papers safe
from loss by fire. We have few
safe deposits boxes left which we
will rent for the balance of this year
for fifty cents if taken before April
first Regular rate $1.00 per year
Rusk County Bank q
The passenger station will be ready
for use again in about two weeks
1t will look the same as it did be.
fore, barring few earmarks of the
fire it went through. While none toe
large even at present, 1t is never.
the-less one of the finest passenger
stations along the 500 Line, outside
of the largest cities.
Carl Klouda, clerk at the Phillips
Hardware Co.'s store, has rented the
home of Roscoe L. Hunt in the First
ward and expects to have his house.
hold goods brought here from Lady
smith the last of this week. Mrs
Klouda spent Saturday and Sunday
here.--Phillips Bee We also note
from the Bee that Carl is already
playing in the city basketball team
there.
The citizens Of this vicinity can
consult at Hotel Gerard, on Mar. 90,
an eye and nerve specialist that has
had over thirty years actual exper-
fence as a physician and specialist.
The doctor will refer you to citizens
right here as to his reliability. Bet.
ter call and see him for all eye or
nerve troubles. Tell your friends to
call. DR.. Clough will be glad to see
you Saturday, Mar. %, at Hotel Ger
ard, even if you do not wish work
done.
Money to loan, lowest rates. T. NJ
Thomas, Attorney, office In TkomGs
alsek, Laaysmith WIZ.