Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-07-31
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

izen who dosn't take much interest in
baseball.
When a woman lays up something |
for rainy day it is usually pair OF
silk hose.
The surest way of enjoying summer
resorts is to stay at home and read
about them.
Some of these invisible hair nets are
so invisible that they look like section
of hammock.
When a girl can make her cheeks
dimple by biting her lips she gets to be
regular cannibal.
Better go slow with your auto speed
ing, friends; the recklessness of one
brings odium on ALL
1t appears that the unmuzzled dog is
about as dangerous as the gun that no
body knows is loaded.
Cupid gets whole lot of credit that
should be given to the old hammock
out on the front porch.
A woman may be foolish in some
ways, but she doesn't buy hair tonic
from bald. headed BARRIERS.
Have you noted the shortage of flies
| u. ~e
quitos2 However, go on swatting.
We don't know much but we have
learned that hot air will heal more
sores than all of the arnica ever made.
The inventor of a. beer bottle cork
left 81, 0O0, 900 to his heirs, but doubt.
less the inventor of the corkscrew left
even more.
Well, that's as good way as any to
clear the way to let good democrat
connect up with the salary of ambassa-
dor to Mexico.
A germ expert says the only safe place
to kiss girl is on the photograph; but
you can't tell where they carry their
photographs these days.
The Chautauqua is fine thing and
the business men of Audubon have en-
ioyed the sessions by closing their
stores almost every afternoon.
A neighboring editor threatens that
if the price of meat continues tosoar he
is going to break into the K. of p. hall
some night and steal the goat
An Audubon lady writes that she
went to Atlantic last Friday between
trains. Its a danerous place to ride
lady, better get inside hereafter.
The woman who is more worried
lover her husbands eats than she is over
womens rights never hands lawyer
much money for securing divorces
Every now and then Good Fellow
wakes up and reforms and gets acquaint-
ed with his wife and children. And
Audubon is no exception you bet.
....
The family row in Democratic circles
is on and disappointment of Spencer as
postmaster at Audubon has not served
to put the foot on the soft, soft peddle.
The agony is all over and the dictator
of Democratic politics in Audubon
county will soon be holding the govern
ment position so eagerly sought by
others.
An Audubon county bachelor at the
age of 80 says he is old enough to get
married and wants wife. Amy of our
Audubon girls want to take this infant
to raise?
A French woman has just paid $500
for pair of stockings. We have in
mind case where pair of 30 cent
stockings cost an Audubon man several
hundred dollars
Harp Wilson will soon be the happiest
man in town He has held his position
several months overtime but has been
anxious to be relieved of arduous duties
at the postoffice.
Far as that is concerned it might be
Just as we'll for the country If the
whole outfit, cabinet, congress and
court would lay off few weeks and
go chautauquaing
Talking about second hand goods.
there lisa woman not over thousand
miles away from here who has divorced
nine husbands and now announces that
she will marry again if she can find the
right man.
About all George Washington had
was smaller farm than Bryan's
Texas ranch but the father of his
country managed to scrape along some
how thru eight years OF presidential
service on his salary
An Audubon woman caugh t her hus-
band at Bagleys corner the other night
sizing mp the girls and he had an aw
full time explaining to her that man
promised to meet him there to pay him
some money he owed him.
Steve Morrissey is good looser, and
it takes more courage and manhood to
be looser than to be victor. Audu-
bon county people have more respect
and regard for the genial Steve" now
than they have ever had before.
If, perchance, copy of this paper
should fall into the hands of any who
are in search of new location-a place
where you can live out your allotted
number of years without the fears of
pestilence or famine, we say, like one
of old, Come thou with us and we
do you good, with emphasis on the
do"
When You go TO a boarding house to
eat you select what you want and
don't kick because man eats every |
thing on the table and pays the same as
you do. Still, you make roar il some
thing in the newspapers doesn't snit
you Don't be philosopher about
| your stomach and q fool about YOUR |