davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
How Do You Lauoh7

It Il. well known and easily demon
strated scientific fact that different
people sound different yowels when
laughing. from which fact a close OBJ
server has drawn the following con-
clusions: People who laugh in A (pro-
nounced as abr are frank. honest and
fond OF noise and excitement, though
they are often Of a versatile and tickle
disposition. Laughter in E. tpronounc-
ed as ayD is peculiar to phlegmadcc
and melancholy persons. Those who.
laugh mI-(pronounced as eel are chill
dren or simple minded. obligfng. anec-,
tionate. timid and undecided people.
To laugh In o indicates generosity and
daring Avoid re possible those who
laugh IN q. as they are wholly devoid
Of principle.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Good Chance.

A yeomanry squad was drilling. and.
being out Of practice, most Of them
were suffering from bruises caused by
the unsteadiness Of one another's move
ments.
6" believe you have cut my head
open," shouted a recruit to a nervous
comrade, who had given him a serious
knock.
"Well." said the distracted sergeant
in charge. "now is n good time to put
something in it."-Exchange.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Worried.

Two or three urchins were running
down a long and steep flight Of steps
when the foremost stumbled and fell
headlong twenty to thirty feet and was
only stopped near the bottom by
doubling backward around the newell
post. 1t looked as though his back
were broken and that he was a dead
small boy. but he gathered himself up.
thrust his hands a~nxiously in his trou-
sers pockets and calculated:
"B'gosh, l b'Teve / lost q cent
Ladies' Home Journal.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Hurt No Living Thing.

-Zgg. -
Our food and garments are largely
secured ut the cost of great cruelty to
beautiful and harmless animals and
birds. But even II they are not beautf-
full o r not harmless we should not
cause unnecessary suffering to any liv-
ing thing. Those creatures which
must be destroyed should be killed
quickly and with MS little pain. or fright
as possible-not only for their W
sakes, but that we ourselves may grow
into the goodness and greatness which
feel for. everything that lives.
In different parts Of the world are
many people who have found that they
can be warmly and handsomely clothed
without wearing the fur Of animals;
that there are plenty Of ornaments 20
that no birds or any part of them need
be worn-neither feathers. wings nor
plumes.-Onr Dumb Animals.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
HUMOROUS QUlPS.
The Office Boy Resigns.

-sra.E'p mr.L -TA-~H EfL-
30. it's like dis wit me:
I'm trough Wit bein' q slave.
I'm done wit woikin' hard, o /.
An starvin' mesele ter save. i
I gets up late dis mornin'.
Do boss was feelin' sore.
He fires me. Can y'u beat It!
wy, I've been late before!
I asks him fer me check
"Nix ON dat" says he.
you're all drawed U a week ahead
/ guess he's right. but. gee!
He hain't>sot no gratitude.
That guys a regular crook.
A woikin' a has got no chanst-
He proves 1t by his book.
Just watch him go to smash
Wit'out me in his biz.
I've run that Office like twas mine
Instead OF bein' his.
It's like dis wit me. bo:
No gink can fire me.
80 I resigns me position
An beats him to It. See?
@ judge.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Poor Support.

Kin Hubbard, the Indiana humorist
-one Of them, that is to say-once wal
assigned to- cover a performance Of
.Uncle Toms Cabin" Hubbard had
his brain child. old ABE Martin" 10
port the play. This was the cntque:
"sUncle Toms Cabin played down {
Melodeon hall las night. Th' dogs
was good. but they had poor support"
-Everybody's Magazine.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Weather sians.

Weather Signs.
There are q great many signs which
are we'll known to the so called
weather prophets. and IL you live in
the country you may amuse yourself
by verifying some Of them. Here are
a few OF the old reliables for signs Of
rain:
Ants become very lively and seem
to be in a hurry about something.
BOOSTERS are always Tapping their
wings and hens seem restless.
Dogs. and cats do not look as lively
as. usual and prefer to lie around the
house, keeping lea the fire.
Flies come indoors and seem to be
sticky and troublesome:
The cattle like to get into corners
and usually stand with their tails to-
ward the wind. M
The nantes on the gas jets are not
Ms bright as usual. ,
Swallows and other birds that feed
on the wing fly very low.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
FOR IHEzCAILDREN
The Council Fire.

SfrE2MS&af-a . Er&e go
Make az many paper slips as there
Will be boys playing the game. Letter
one slip the Fire Maker. and all the
rest either Good Wood Orr Pine Knots.
but there should be three times as
many Good Wood slips us there are
Pine Knots.
The papers are all put In q hat, and
each boy chooses one and then takes
his seat on the edge Of the room-all
except the boy who has drawn the Fire
Makers slip. he stands In the center
Of the room ready to build his fires.
He. calls the boys to him. three or four
at % time, and places them in groups
that represent bundles Of wood. Then
he begins to bind his bundles of wood
and the fun commences.
The Fire Maker walks slowly around
the first group Of boys, making motions
with his hands as il he were binding
!fagots. AS loon as his arms drop.
though. the boys in this group take to
their heels. those who drew Good
Wood slips going to their seats, and
those who drew Pine Knot slips chas-
ing the Fire Maker. Tie Pine Knot
boys try to touch the Fire Maker AMI
tag him before he reaches his next
bundle Of wood. II he gets to this Sec
ond group of boys and begins going
again through the motions Of fagot ty-
ing he is safe. but IL before reaching
them he Is tagged the Pine Knot who
tagged him takes bis place and plays
Fire Maker. while the former Fire
Maker must sit down with the Good
Wood boys. The game ends when all
the bundles Of wood have been used
up. when the slips may be put back
Into the cap.Smixed up and drawn over
Standardization.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
Conventional.

'How is the new telephone operator
getting on?"
"Oh. she left as soon as I explained
the work to her"
Refused to stay. eh?'
Eyes"
''What swas the troubIe?"
''She says she couldn't think Of call
ing people up and talking to them with
out a formal introduction "-Younes-
town Telegraph.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
No Kick Coming.

Jones answered an advertisement
and sent u dollar for four pairs OF
socks. Jones looked them owe and
then wrote the advertiser:
s'Socks received. The patterns arc
vile. 1 wouldn't be seer on the street
with them on"
Back came the answer:
"What are you kicking about7
Didn't we guarantee that you would
not wear them out?" Magazine OF
Fun.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09

Bobby Wallace. the veteran shortstop
OF the ST. Louis Americans, Is assured
of q job with the Browns as long as he
wishes to remain in baseball. So says
President Hedges Of the club. Wal
lace has bees one Of the most loyal
workers ON the team and incidentally
one Of the grandest men that ever ham
died a baseball" said Hedges. "He
can be a regular member Of the team
as long4as he can play ball good enough
for the American league. After that
he can become a scout or at in as a
coach. He will be ON the st. Louis
payroll as long as he Wishes" adds
the. Browns president.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
4 doubtful Program.

.sOf course the Office ought to seek
the man."
II don't know about that" replied
Senator Sorghum. "Asman who stands
around waiting for an Office to seek him
probably wouldn't have energy enough
to do anything with 1t II It came his
way.'-Washingt0n Star.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
&c oirIe 81 Rainy D.ys.

&-lEGr GaAE-IE.g
10 make your rainy day bright do
the following:
Gather all your paper dolls together!
Bring out your fairy tale book y
choose your faTorite story.
After this has been done write q
short playson TINT story andshave your
dolls as the characters.
It Isl iotssof fun to draw their cos
.tuumletsssand rehearse the paper dolls for.
the play I.
In -making the costumes You q col
or them lprrrettilg With your colors; or
Il you prefer you may coloredI'
writing paper: which VIII answer nice.
~ for the purpose
Try this some rainy afternoon and
see Il yosl don't like II. S
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
~ ~. oukp.

-. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. .T@sETE l6.E%ETas-As - AN.,
II MRS. BoRsss AADN'T3WALkED OFF,
have been nc change now but forssick,
ness. Annie viii. probably be back in
4 day or two: MEANWHILE lean dosthe
cooking. -. 8
meanwhile i have rot to live 5on
cr1,sts and homes n feel that things
are Upside down. he growled. IF
there's 4 worse run house: in America;
ia like to- know where It's located.
TIE cook has no sick sister. She sim
NV made that.an excuse ia ret away
from here. All, your cooks do that
when they can't stand i avs.
what ID wrong With nv Nh.
&. Nj. d. Kicks.
n. ss sry,3'n Won srind el ser to@s ~. min
%. ~ 5000 n,t,, r.s,s -. .,n,,sd
q 49, $500 thst ~ ds,wn ~
her Inees = uon5l have: sIr,ays nst,ed
49,. eson, 10 hotton, q M haarf.
a ..,s1' 4h,ns., w 4. $500
.srsa4s. oh.h, .hs;a,.o wh. 4vo
t.as t.ss -. 49, 5000 go
$3.50 = az ) - athsss oss,sss
..as ~ 49, IA hsn ana w.,,ianst ssiavssvsnl
49, ~ $3.50 ~ = arc.sssss ths,r
Mssa.r 49,
Ws .ss, i, r,,u ~. %, .ra
!. =. - -
a ~ 4, ~ ~,
IN, ~ -. :. ! harn .roonz ~,
s4 len. ~ =. 49,
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
America Is Aid Germany.

Profting by the great showing Of
Sweden In the Olympic games. held.
last year III Stockholm. Germany is
going in for the am sort Of thing in
preparation for the next Olympics,
which are to be held in Berlin in 1916.
In this they Wili1be helped materially
by Professor William NJ. Sloane Of
Princeton, N. 81. Who'll now in Berlin
as the exchange professor with the
University Of Berlin. appointed by CO.
lumbia. who was a member Of the
American committee on the games last
year. At a recent luncheon in Berlin
given by Professor Sloane to. Carl
Diem. president OF the German ANA
teur. Athletic union and the secretdry
OF the 1916 games. Professor Sloane
told the Germans that they might rely
upon assistance from America in or
gambling for victory three years hence.
as this country was disposed to help
Germany, as It had Sweden last SUM
mer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09

WINCH ne kicked tue NlctlOuHTy ~dcFOSs
the iioor and banged a chair. about. and.
then heresmmed.
Mrs. B0wser has got her trunk pack
ed and will want to go tn-the morning.
and i don't know what in thunder I'm
going to do. can't get a ~housekeeper3
in here, aud I'll be, hanged Il go to
a hotel or btarding house. What did!
she want to fire mp the way she did.
for: She knows my little ways and
HAS niways put upSwith them till this
time. but the minute ! began to talk
she said she'd been packing her trunk
to go home. Never was 20 ast0nished
In my life, but. Of course,sI had to tell,
her to trOt alOng. By gum. by gum!" q
heard him approaching the door.
and i got back into the sitting room
He am In. after 4 moment. trying.
hard to look. careless. and after pacing
up aud down he took n chair and re-
markedsthnt tswas showing outdoors.
I replied that 1t was plnssills.,
He said that we'd Ind very little
snow thus far this winter;
replied that u mdn't Jeen inter-
ested. zs
He then took the cat on his lap aA,a
asked II Thought her ieyesight was
failing.
Helhen skipped from cntsto mother
in5laws and hoped sheswa well.
She II Meil THANK you. &
- He Givss IN at Last.
Then Mr.. BoWseT- begun; to shuttle
and1widdle again. aud in another min
ute he rose Ip and returned to the IL
brury: I took UP my former position
just In. fine to hear him say:
s..,Tshe old girls got her back up for
fair this time. She ought to e that
i.fm doing ,ysbeststo make upawith;
her. but she won't have 1t. Wonder
ifr sle expects me TO get down on my
knees to her. I won't do itsifI die for
Il. but It putsssme 10 a hole just the
sane. What In the old Harry Is going.
To- become OF me Il she goes?"
Then he got mad and kickedsthat:
poor dictionary back again and hack.
and forth the other way, and II was
two minutes before he went on:
Bower. you are mn old crank: Durn
your cats. but why do you Jump on.
anybody with both feet the way you
do? Yous come home and find that the
cook has been called away by sick-s
ness-legitimata s~ickness-and you I'M
mediately. begin to blow and bluster
and walk around on Mrs. Bowser.@Yes.
you are an old crank. and you've got
yourself into a nice fx at last. What
you want to do Is to go right down.
there ana chuck that woman under the
chin and beg cher pardon and No.
y0n can't do TINT. sYoM want to put on
yourshat aud oyescoat and 30 ont and
siamSthesdoo behind you. shelisprob.
ably get scared and come down OF .her.
high horse andscaitsyou hack. and then
. a make 1p without loss OF dig
mtg
GOT ont Of the way. and Nj. Bow
ser put his plan IN operation: II didn't.
work. He stood onsthe steps for i've
minutes, waiting . q call.sapd when
none 81 me he resenteseed the house, t.s
swithsacFastfaIlen demeanor. Hanging
mn his hat on the hall tree. he came
hack into thessitting ootn and stood
ana lonkedza re me .
tret,Iirnsed hissgaxes s
.s.s yWhiIe I'm:a I'D
b yons ARE that ,aind want e,
20 dos I,m not soiinRs home q \:
mother the morning
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
All He Knew.

An eastern college nee conferred
degree upon the late DR.. Robert Coll
yer. The text Of the manuscript was
written entirely In Latin. Turning 10
a friend who stood beside him, the Old
clergyman said. ut must be all right,
but all the Latin I know 10 ct cetefa.~
Judge.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
'B0WSER IS !. coon. !
l Phenomena Explained BY Ills.
Worthy Spouse.
THE EVENING BEGINS SADLY.

Z but Afeef Ravin0 o Quits Awhile he
capitulatss andsMrs. 3. Does Not
sRsturn 90 Mothsr1-Ths waiting.
Game Wins Out.
81 N. ouAD.
Copyright. 1913. BY Associated Literary
sas @ Press
KNEW TINT Twas In for II.
IL Mr.. Bowser came home feel
ing good niatured there might Be
only a. few .'humphs" OF disgust
but II things at the Office had gone
wrong then he would break loose!
I had three hours ID which to make
up my mind. and when he arrived I:
had decided what to do.
You. see,the other afternoon a mes
senger boy brought our cook q tele-
gram to the effect that her sister, ten
miles away. was very Ill and wanted.
to see her at once. She was ready to
leave IN half an hour. and I took hold
Of the work and had a good dinner
awaiting Mr.. Bowser when he reached
home. He entered the house in a pleas
ant mood, but no sooner hadsl broken;
the news to him about the cook than
he said:
II thought It was about time for m.
other kickup: By John. but can't you
keepa girl for. 6fteen-minutes without
Z row.
s.We haven..tchanged girls in i've
months" 1 replied, ..and there would
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-05-09
amithsonl Reinatated.

smithson 10 Rsinstatsd.
Debarred from the Stockholm Oiym-
pic games and kept out OF amateur
athletics for more than n year. Forrest
Smithson, holderaof the worlds record
for. the sixty yard and seventy-dye
yard low hurdles. Is now competing
again:
Smithson was debarred from anna
teur competitions after entering at the
Pacific coast Olympic tryouts as an.
unattached athlete, although the Los
Angeles Athletic club had advanced
his entrancefee and part Of hiseex-
penses. These advances have been re-
paid. and It was agreed that ssmithsonf
had been sufficiently punished.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-10
Members of Board Make Investi
gation-Bon Air Wants
1t Moved.

In their investigation yesterday Of
conditions obtaining at the Virginia
Home and Industrial School for Girls.
IN Chesterfield County. Robert Lecky.
Jr.. and tn. Rev. George w Mcdaniel
-. ID. members OF the executive COM
mittee. appointed to conduct AN inquiry
found that quiet was reigning again
OF AFFAIRS prevailed once again
Mr. Lccky stated last night that
there seemed to he no further indca-
TONS OF nutiny among the girls, and
that they appeared To be under COM
plctc control OF Mrs NJ NJ. Light. the
matron. However. the outbreaks which
nave occurred have always come un-
hcraldcd. and the investigators are de-
tcrmincd that there shall be no further
trouble II they can by amy possible
means avert IL. 1t is rather difficult
for the members of the executive board
to determine, II is said. exactly what
causes the outbreaks and the tenn
porary loss Of control by the matron.
That she does occasionally lose her
remarkable control over them Is adj
mittcd.
But the board is determined that that
control must he absolute and that some
new method OF governing the girls. and
Furnishing them II necessary. must be
adopted. FOR. as much as they are inter
these unfortunates, the members of the
board arc becoming rather tired Of the
frequency with which the outbreaks
have recently occurred 1t Is probable.
Mr.. Lecky said. that there will be some
changes. and the committee will prob
ably make report some time to-day
Of the result Of its Investigations.
II has been stated by the official man
ayers of the home several times that
they are laboring under heavy difficult
ties. They feel that they have not
been dealt fairly with by the StTte
Board of Charities and Corrections.
which. in its report to the Governor.
was inclined severely TO criticize the
management of the home. AS n result
of this report. Henry NJ Baskervill re-
signed as treasurer OF the institution.
Since the State investigation there have
been two outbreaks. one directed
against Probation officer Wheaton,,
who was driven from the home with
n shotgun when he was returning with
Marie McNcmar. runaway girl. and
the other against William II. Turpin,
the ovorsecr appointed in place of the
negro. Beverley Banks who was left
IN the middle of the road in heavy
rainstorm by party of the inmates.
In the meeting of the citizens Of Bon
Air Monday night in the home Of Polk
Miller. as printed in The Times Dis
patch yesterday. committee was APP
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-10
COMES BACK ONLY
TO Be ARRESTED
Harry Northington Is Charged
With Implication in Rob
berry of T. F. Jones.

Harry Northington. who is said to
have just arrived in town, was arrested
yesterday by Detectives Smith and
Bryant on warrant charging him
with being one Of the two men who
on the night Of July held up and
robbed Il. T.. Jones, of Ola East Leigh
Street, of $40 in currency and a watch
valued at S25.
Jones and his brother were near the
corner Of Seventeenth and Washington
Streets. according to their story, when
two men appi cached them and de-
manded their money. One OF the high
waymen was armed with n revolver
with which he felled r. T.. Jones, stun
ming him. and then went through his
pockets. The brother said he was too
overcome with surprise to offer any
resistance.
Chester Beckner. aliaa Tennessee
Kid" was arrested on the day follow
ing the robbery, and was sent on to
the grand jury by Justice Crutchneld
Mt the preliminary hearing. Ills wife,
carrying n baby in her arms. made
dramatic witness in his behalf, and nt-
tempted to prove an alibi for her hus-
band.
1t is said by the police that Northing-
ton left the city shortly after the rob-
berry. The two detectives learned yes
tcrday that he had come back. and met
him on Third Street. He Is twenty
four years old.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-10
Aldermen Concur in New Meas
ure to Prevent Guess Weights
in Future.

citizens who noursh Il lingering
suspicion that the iceman short
changes them during the summer-,ime
lush' nave now a remedy at hand in
we ordinance passed last night by
the Board OF Aldermen, making II nm
lawful for any ice dealer 10 ch,r,.o
ior more Ice than he delivers. com
pchihG him TO weigh each chunk be-
ioFc delivery. and to charge on the
OASIS OF actual weight only.
inc ordnance has already received
'he unanimous approval OF the Com
mon council. and needs only the sigma
lure OF the Mayor 10 become law. i,
Is Il new one In the City Code. and IL
aimed at an abuse which was admitted
Wy several members of the upper
branch last night to be more common
than it ought TO be The ordinance
was introduced by Councilman Lums-
den. and was drawn by the CITY At
torney.
sometimes Pays for Holes.
Alderman Powers. although In favor
oi me raw on general principles, feared
That the compulsory Weighing OF every
chunk OF ice might cause discomfort
ana delay during tho summer rush
ana mad his doubts about the useful
ness OF the measure. Alderman Mel
ton rcasSured him on this point with
the statement that the Ordinance. Com
mittce had examined into the ordinance
from all angles and recommended It's
passage.
Il want TO call the attention Of the
board to the fact that under the pres
emf system OF selling ice BY the block.
the customer pays for the hole In the
centre said Alderman Paul Some
times there are holes at both ends
II the blocks are weighed there will
be no more paying for mir holes"
Alderman Puller thought the new
Law would cause n saving OF thousands
OF pounds OF ice 10 consumers in the
Increased carefulncss with which Ice
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-10
STREET SWEEPERS
TO FIGHT WEEDS
Board Directs Force to Rid
Alleys and Streets of
Rank Growths.

Beginning this morning, the Street
Cleaning Department Will for period
OF five days suspend the sweeping OF
streets all over the city, and will en-
ploy the force devoted TO this activity
In cutting down the weeds and rank
Srowths that have sprung uD along the
alleys and sidewalks OF many streets
The action follows an order entered
yesterday by the Administrative BOARD
directing the shifting Of the street
sweeping force TO the wccd-war for
period lasting until next Monday.
The work OF collecting garbage viii
not be intcrfered with. since only the
force employed in sweeping the streets
VIII be engaged In the new work
The board yesterday recommended to
the Council the passage Of the ord!-
nance increasing the salary of the sec
ond assistant superintendent OF the
Water Works, amending it. however.
TO provide for an increase to $500
instead of sl,s0o a year. The Office
now pays $3.50. and Is held by Charles
Burkert
y communication from the Mayor 10
the board nclosed warrants OF au-
thorty comforting police powers upon
the watchmen of the Free Bridge and
the new Mayo Bridge The watchmcn
have hitherto been without such au-
thority
The board approved the ordinance
authorizing the City Attorney TO en-
ploy an assistant clerk and stcnogra-
phcr at salary Of S75 n month