davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Hits From Sharp Wits.

Nat Goodwin says he IL now welded
to literature. In which case the public
will not object to another divorce.
Topeka State Journal:
A London specialist says frequent hair
cutting causes badness, but it's our
guess Il only makes 1t look Ike II
Miladi says there II one main differ
ence about q mans headache-he can
tell to a certainty where he got IT.
Memphis Commercial Appeal
The way to settle the Mexican trouble
IL to present Huerta with 1s13 nedsl
aeroplane.
Those VIII think that q man cannot
do two things at once ought 10 see
Mr.. Bryan in THE Making Of Q No.
and dollar at the same time.
There are several criminals IN New
York who have never held any political
office whatever.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Miladi says that her private opinion
il that woman was made from mans
bone Of contention.
Ny, how Canada IL going - miss
Thaw She hasn't had 80 much fun and
excitement In years
Our language grows apace. "9ouoed."
with the Jag Significance. Il now In the
dictionary.-Memphis Commercial Ap-
peal.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
TOO BIG A JOB FOR ONE MAN,

Franklin Lane, Secretary of the Interior has bro
i.en down under the stress of overwork and the i'm
perious demands of his position.
His predecessor, Walter L. Fisher, had a narrow
escape from like mishap.
The man who honestly undertakes to safeguard
the public interest throughout the administration of
this immense department is certain to have job too
big for one man.
The Interior Department ought to be reorganzed
There should be a redistribution of functions and
duties among some of the departments of the Gov
crnment. g--.rs "
No good reason demands that paying pensions,
for instance should be Interior function 1t could
ust as reasonably be bureau of the Department of
Commerce .ss-s7lssFEgtr.-
Why should the Patent Office be under the In
terror Department? 1t would be much more appro-
priatey turned over to tine Department of Commerce.
The. Reclamation Service is now at q stage of de-
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
WATCH YOUR POLITICAL BAROMETER

Think back five or six years to the political con-
dtons that existed in the last later period of the
Roosevelt Administration. There was bitter denun.
citation of Aldrichism and Cannonism from many
parts of the country but the veterans of the boss
system retorted that, while the noise sounded like
million frogs, there really we're only few croakers
The proved how sadly erroneous was this dag
noss.
The Democratic leadership might we'll take note
of symptoms of these present times. The parallel is
close enough to be interesting, at least From every
quarter comes protest against the return to caucus
rule and bossism Of a character hardly heretofore
undertaken by the leaders of Republican tory
ism. 1t is not safe to that three frogs
are doing all the croaking; the mistake Of former
assumption to that effect ought to be in mind
This country is not going tamey to submit to an
other subversion of its legislative authority 1t took
political revolution to make so much progress
as had been measured before the Republican party
went out of power. Now the situation has lapsed
back into stage quite as bad as that in the pre-
revolutionary days.
The public understands this kind of thing better
than it used to do; therefore, it will not wait so long
to manifest its dspleasure with reactionary condi-
tons The Democratic Administration must relax the
iron grip of its domination over Congress just as
soon as possible, or it will surely be in trouble
Didn't the lesson of the Maine district the other
DAY mean anything?
Doesn't the Anderson resignation from WAYS and
Means look like a cloud rather larger than mans
hand?
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
THE CHANCE AGAINST TAMMANY.

Mr.. McAneny has declined to 60 on the Gaynor
ticket in New York in the place vacated by the
mayors death, and the impression is that it will be
impossible to draft any figure of such command as
to justify holding the movement together. Therefore
two tickets are left in the field with mayoraty
,didates leading them: one headed by Mccall, Tam
manys avowed representative; the other by Mitchell
In that situation there ought to be doubt as to
the position of friends of decency and good govern
ment They should and doubtless most of them will,
vote for Mitchell He ought to win.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
MR.. UNDERWOOD's DOMINATION.

p. Oscar W. Underwood is clear-headed and hard
f5ted gentleman with distinct penchant for his own
way about things. He wants the new tariff BILL for
instance, to be the Underwood measure, not the
Simmons BILL and in the conference now progressing
he seems thus far to be winning most points.
The Senate bill, on the WHOLE fixed duties dis
tnctiy lower than they were made by the House. To
this Mr.. Underwood interposes an objection based
not any tariff principles, but on the very practical
consideration of revenues He thinks it is dangerous
to take the chance of looping off much income
the custom houses, which must be made up from
measures that have not been tested and gauged as
to producing quality, ard which may prove dsap-
rointing.
se. Mr. La Toilette, the sole Republican who voted
for the Senate measure is member of the confer.
ence on behalf of the upper house; theoretically
representing the Republican party, though r,anfestly
he cannot represent it at all. Probably Mr. La Fol-
7lstte will prove a useful ally of Underwood in the
matter of enforcing moderation. While he voted for
the Senate BILL the Wisconsin mans general attitude
would seem to incline him more toward the House
J, tnan the Senate schedules, as a whole. Therefore
the probability that he will be found willing lis
tener to the arguments of the House leader in favor
OF the rates fixed before the bill got to the Senate
~ The conference thus far has moved rapidly with
its work, and there is apparently why un-
toward delay should rise hereafter. A new tariff law
by October is easily within the present probabilities
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

n fact that women are not as
~ beautiful as they were in olden
times. A London paper COM
ments on this. saying:
"Why is 1t? 1t seems strange that
women destined to be remembered for
their great beauty seldom are seen in
society nowadays. In early and mid
Victorian days many such arose and
made notable marriages. Nowadays We
rarely hear of such beauties. How Is
this to be accounted for?'
All of which is but more wailing as to
those good old days" and the ever
lasting howl that the world is getting
WORSE. Never before have we had so
many beautiful women as exist today
every ywhere-beautiful both in mind and
spirit as we'll as in body.
The world is NOT standing and IS
getting better. Nothing is permanent
but change" Therefore even standards
change, and especially standards of
be.utv relative to women.
No longer are the angelic loveliness
and the baby-doll type of yesterday ac-
corded prominen: places in the judging
of beauty. With the advent Of women
In all the walks of life something more
than mere PHYSICAL. attraction is
necessary in such decisions Beauty OF
mind and spirit is the ESSENTIAL
element.
Where. before. only . few women
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
A TEAR FOR THE CONQUERED.

Pity the sorrows of the Cleveland fans who have
stood around the bulletin boards the last few days
1and seen their beloved gladiators of the diamond
ntake the count at the hands of victorious Washington
s.sTen days ago there were few so hardy to question
r. haf Cleveland would land in second berth. Today,
with broken and dsheartened team marching away
70 encounter the Philadelphia outfit, he must indeed
rbe loyal Clevelander who much hope ahead.
5s Wherefore tear for the conquered. 1t is genu-
Zine pleasure to drop t-when Washington is the con-
-aOuerOr,
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Begging of.

.tf~AN you direct me to the best
hotel in tbs town." asked
the stranger. who. after
sxdly watching the train de-
part, had set his satchel upon the sta
ton platform.
IT can,'' replied the man who was
waiting for train going the other way.
"but hate to do it,
"Why?"
Because you will think after you've
seen 1t that I'm q nar."-Chicago Rec
'ord-Herald
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Here's "a a Book

The Evolution Of Christianity" by ,.
q. Smith. pubiished by the Gospel Tfw-
pet Company. Of Anderson. Ind.
This work In the process Of showing
the origin, nature and development Of
the relision Of the Bible. IN N rsIa-
ton to the mental. moral and rsllUieus
nature Of man. gives scholarly and
intellectual arraignment Of arguments
which woulf tend to convince amy con-
scientious reader with the purpose and
necessity Of Christianity. The natural
constitution Of man himsef. called for
the revelations from God to man. of the
religion Of the Btble. saccordingu - .
prearranged plan. ra ~ snhaiEsse
Many are converted 10 Christianity In
open meetings and through personal ex-
hortation which reaches some 1ndividual
chord Of responsiveness. but there ID q
large majority Of persons to whom the
impassioned general appeal, devoid Of
scientific argument and tho seQuenkial
presentation Of facts does not appeal.
That class win be interested m this
book and In the sincere attempt of the
author to speak Of Christianity. not
creed.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

\ r
M inscuabe
lvl in
But the Ctvlized ID
marria s.t--gg
The takh
his or dfverso
Civilized
q, .ri
soeth of his
1
BEHIND
and obj i'm
the .
continue o
knh
and ..+
savage eeateh and may
.-
Verify. he in order DRINK!
Savag no requireth
pain and !
from andu
and swalowtan
mady In the foolish .
and graceful TURKEYTROT.
MARVELLOUS
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
STARVING THE WORLD TO DEATH.

A speaker before the British Association for the
Advancement of Science declares that the world is
in almost imminent danger of having so many people
that it will be unable to feed them. The crisis he
places not more than century ahead.
That such stuff should get consideration in a sci
enti6c gathering is almost unthinkabe. This par.
ticuar speaker drags out the ancient bogie about the
wheat supply failing to keep up with the demand. The
breakdown is coming first when the product Of wheat
refuses to meet the demand.
If wheat were not at very low price ebb right
now, if the worlds wheat crop this very year were
not record-breaker, that illustration would get far.
ther.
Wheat's yield this year breaks records because
the wheat area, in Canada, Russia, Siberia, is ex-
panding so very fast Truth to TELL there is probably
no great staple that has SO much room to expand its
production as wheat. Africa, Canada, the United
States European Russia Siberia, all are capable sof
making fabulous additions to the worlds yearly crop.
China is about the size of the United States and
contains third of humanity Yet China is not over
crowded; only comparatively small part of it is
congested. India, China, and Western Europe have
most of the worlds people, in an area that is just
ptiful fraction of the habitable land Our British
scientist may be contemplating the crowding Of peo-
pie into the British Ises and imagining the world is
likewise crowded; yet if he would turn his attention
to the land laws and make it possible just for the
agricultural of Britain to be opened to cutva-
ton, instead Of parceled into parks and hunting pre-
serves and grouse moors for the amusement of the
little privileged class, he would discover that even
Britain could well-nigh feed itself.
The same alarmist wonders where we will get
fuel, power heat century hence, when the coal is
all burned up. Bless him, it will not be. In few
years past have actually discovered coal field
in these United States with more available coal in it
than all this continent has mined thus far; and the
new field has not been opened, because there is not
enough demand for coal to make it economically
profitable to dig it in this region.
The next century will see the world harness its
water powers and produce an amount of energy be-
yond present conception far beyond the possibility
of power famine ever being experienced. Prob
ably it will also subdue the tides and set them at
work; very likely the suns rays.
The vastnesses of the tropics are yet to be SUBJ
dued and set producing at a rate which the tenn
perate zones cannot even realize is possible. The
deep sea, always a reliable source of food supplies
will have its mysteries barred, its Businesses pene-
tated and its contribution to human needs multiplied
many fold.
The truth is that this generation faces problem,
not of inadequate worldcapaciy to produce, but of
inefficient systems of distribution. Real economists
know this.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
An Original Sort of Ham.

A lady gave a luncheon recently and crnaine5 IT,
& cooked nam by the recipe used by Thomas Jefferson
This recipe required that the for about
two hours by simmering. but under condition
allowed
A ham the stove destInes presided over by
young coored woman from in the mountains
Jane called the mistress of the house. don't let
ham boil"
No um, replied Jane. Il amt gwine to boil ham
It's on the stove now just smperinGy"
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
What s on tie Program IN
Washington Todz,

Meetings-evening:
National Union Columbia Council.
Pythian Temple; National Guard
Council. National Guard Armory.
Odd Fellows-Social session. Canton
Washington. No. I. Patiarchs NH.
tant.
Meeting Of John C. Daley Council. No.
5. Independent Order Sons OF Jonadah
Temperance Hall. 643 Louisiana ave.
nue. northwest. p. m. :.
Amusement4
Columbia-"A Rolling Stone" BIS and
S:l5 p. m.
Poiis-.Under Southern skiea" 3:1s and
Sis p. m.
Academy-"The Littlest Rebel" s:1s and
S:15 p. m.
Keith's-Vaudeville BIS and Sis .. m.
Naturalization pictures. Sis and SIS
Cosmos
Casino-Vaudevflle.
Gayety-"The Gayety Girls. 3:ls and
Sis D. m.
Chevy Chase Laks-Musie by Marine
49, ssa -s-ta 5 e
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Well, There May Be Some Good In
Them.

Sir: Why intermissions at vaudeville
shows? l can answer you fifty per cent.
The intermission at the afternoon per-
formance is there so that people can go
out and buy the column, out at p. m.
l don't know about the evening.
O. NJ T..
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
THIS THAT

A STANDARD of measurement for
humor is the snappy suggestion of A. r.,
who. roughly speaking, is some suggest
er. Il haven't worked out the details" "
he says. but the humor would be meas
ured in degrees of platitude and prolong-
tude-measurements of quality and age,
espectively-zero, of course. being per-
lection in each"
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Platitude and prolongitude are here
with gratefully accepted as this columns
official humor gauges. Our mechanical
expert is already at work on an instru-
ment designed to register the platitude
and prolongitude of a joke while the
wheeze is being related. DON'T fail to get
one for your office wall.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

The custom is increasing, they tell us,
and there are no good arguments
against it. But no man who wears a
wrist watch need look to us for sym-
pathy If Something Happens.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Recalling that there met yesterday "a
joint session Of both houses of the Chin.
ese parliament" Add p. F.'s.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

The most accurate figures obtainable
have it that when an opposing pitcher
throws to base to catch one of the home
team mapping. 62.51 of the fans crv
Look OUT" in husky undertone.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

AS We dope out the fall styles from
this side of the show windows. they are
named from the hope that the popula-
ton will fall for them. Consent to be
fall guys, SO to speak.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Tractableness and docility are where
we bat $50. but our inclination to pur-
chase a fall lid varies inversely as the
square of the number Of people who
tell US that the straw hat season is over.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Not the Slightest.

G. S. X: Is there any chance to call
the baseball draft sandlottery?
NJ. NJ. NJ.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
Our Southern Correspondence.

Sir: There is no Chinese eating house
here called the Port Arthur Restaurant.
Only city of its kind in the world.
SAM.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Which do you call your column ?
queries o. L. j.: The Doric or CORN
thian?"
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

It certainly will decrease the price
OF living to the people," tarifes sSscrs.
tary Bryan. II they buy more than
they do now. 1t is likely that with
lower prices they will buy more" But
who are to start the endless circle-the
people who are going to buy more or
the men who will reduce the prices?
And II the people buy more. even at
lesser prices, how much less will II cost
them to live?
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Have the Papers Been Notified?
G. S. K: ONE GAME now between
Climbers and Maps. The moving picture
machines are being set up overlooking
Chain Bridge. All is in readiness. +
B. O. and R. A.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
IRRITATIONS.

Among the million things or SC
That n,dketh me to sDear,
I chiefly hate to stub my toe
Against q rocking chair.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Neither one of the two. old top,
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

The A. L. schedule resumes this after
noon, and gosh how we dread it! A
Cleveland defeat and Washington VIC
tory means that the Climbers will pass
the Maps. and we'll pass an uncomfort-
able evening. Reserved seats. for our
Chain Bridgework, II the W. comes 10
the W., can be secured at this 6ffice.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Ours is the lronic.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

you don't need to tell the sun
to shine: you don't have to tell a
canary bird to sing; you don't
need to tell Uncle Joe Cannon
whom to put on q committee
James e. Watson, at the lobby
probe.
Ready? You don't need to tell Thaw
TO go to court; you don't have to tell
Upton to challenge for the cup: you
don't need to tell US that ]. Makover &
Co., are tailors, but a lot Of people DO
And perhaps, Mp. Watson. you don't
need to tell the lobby committee such
triteisms. Though we don't know.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

g. s. K: Faultfinding. deserved and
undeserved, is apparently an essential in
columning. II so. why not give little
time and thought to the newspaper. and
T. r. and at the some time give the
corporations and your $500 friend IN
Congress rest-to say nothing Of the
rest of US? Come on, now, PRINT THIS
IF YOU DARE! )
L. E. n.
Delavan, Wis. Sept. II.
OF course we dare. Taking up one
point at time. we have not mentioned
the Congressional friend for SIX weeks
and shall not again; we never Nshall
agree with the corporations; we have no
fault to find with T. r.; we often have
quarreled with the newspapers. ss :
Our books are always open to sub
scribers. 33is.5J-ssS 3,
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

Vicksburg, Miss. Sept. II.
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

BRITISH writer deplores the
fact that women are not as
beautiful as they were in olden
tirpaS npdon paDer COM
The Washington times., 1913-09-13
News Of the Famous.

(From the Armstrong Co.. Pa. Democrat
and Sentinel.")
John Rockefeller Is in the county fail,
The Washington times., 1913-09-13

G. 8. K.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-01-03

The costliest drunk pulled off in Ma
en- during the holidays was the n in
dulged in by two negroes, George Deu-
pree and Fred Crawford, an out-of-
iowl ne gro, but who has never before
teen up before the local officers. While
on a spree they stole a quart of whiskey
from a negro woman named Belle Wat
son, who reported the culprits TO Mayor
Horton after they refused to reimburse
her for her loss. They were tried IN
Mayors court and fined $40 and cost.
Justice of the Peace Wood Cockrell
swore out affidavit against them and
for the crime against the State, for the
same offense George Deupree was fl red
500 and given so days on the road and
the other negro $50 and 80 days. The
writer he I'd Justice Cockrell express
a regret I'd he County Attorney that
the law did not allow him to double the
sentence. But the sentence George
Deupree received was the limit the law
sets for extreme cases, where the Of
fender is a hardened and habitual Grim
inal. 1t was a severer sentence than
some Of the dynamiters received in the
famous trial recently held in %Indianapo-
lis, where the offense was the blowing
up Of the Tines building in Los Angeles
and dynamite g 100 or more buildings,
bird res. etc.
But Justice Cockrell has never been
known to temper justice with mercy.
The extreme penalty has almost invari-
ably been the rule Instead OF The excep-
tiOn. : ( tl@ # -"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-01-03
TRUSTEES SALE.

state of Mississippi. Noxubee County.
By virtue of the provisions OF a certain
dee2 oftrust executed by Jim and Amanda
wayne, on the 1st day of January. 1912, to
3, v. Yates. As trustee. to secure to George
richardson. a certain Indebtedness therein
mentioned, said trust deed being recorded IN
trust deed Book lO1, page 500. IN the Cham
cery Clerks Office In said county, |. the I'M
dersigned as substituted trustee, VIII on
Monday, the 9Th day Of Janua Mgns ,e II ;b he
civ Of Macon, proceed to sell at auction to
the highest bidder for cash, the following de-
County Of Noxubee, state of Mississippi. to
wit:
Northeast quarter oft Southeast quarter
OF Section IS, Township is. Range 10, and
West half Of the Southeast quarter OF section
1s, Township IS. Range 10. less 3 tracts OF
land In West half of the Southeast quarter
as shown In Book Il. page 442. ofthe Shan-
Gerry Clerks Office OF Noxubee county, MISS.
The property mentioned In said trust deed
to satisfy said indebt, dness and the cost OF
CHAS. RICHARDSON.
Substituted Trustee.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-01-03
TRUSTEES SALE.

The State of M Mississippi, Noxubee County.
BY virtue Of the provisions Of a certain
deed OF trust executed by Raymond Trimbie
and his wife, Mrs. Leila M. Trimble, or the
21st day Of January, 1911, to l. l.. Dordoh.
as trustee. to secnre to James H. Murray, a
certain indebtedness therein mentioned, said
trust deed being recorded In Deed Book No.
%. page 45s, Ia Chancery Clerks Office In
SAID county, I, the un~dersigned as trustee,
will on Monday, the 18th day Of January,
1913, within legal hours, In front Of the door
OF the Court House In the City Of Macon.
Miss, proceed to sell at auction to the high
est bidder for cash the tollo wing described
real estate situated In Noxubee county, state
of Nj issi>sippi to-wit: The EAST half (E La
of the Northeast quarter one 1.f) Section
Eleven N and the Northeast quarter (NB
Ia and the Eas half 3 1-2J of the South
west quarter, Section Twelve (12L all the
above lands being In Township Fourteen
C14). Range Seventeen vi and containing
800 acres. more or less.
The said lands above described will be sod
subject to a trust deed of the Colonial &
United States Mortgage Company for the
sum of $4,000 and interest for one year at
the rate Of 8 per cent per anuum, said trust
deed being ofrecord In Book %, pag <39
and dated January 18th, 1911.
The property mentioned In said trust deed
will be sold to satisfJ said indebtedness and
the cost of this proceeding.
This December 18th, 1912.
I. l.. DORROH. Trustee.