The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-25
"ORNERY" BRUTES
By PICK SMITH.

One Christmas eve years and years
ago, the families of Willard N. Hail.
William and Edward Henderson and
some others had a neighborhool tree,
and met and distributed presents
among themselves therefrom. Once
when Santa" called Willard N. HALF
that gentleman received neatly
wrapped package, addressed in Ned"
Henderson's fist with a merry
Christmas greeting, and a sprig Of
holly attached. Mr.. Hall reseated
himself alongside his wife, remarking
in an undertone to her, Darn it ALL
L intended as much as could be to get
some little remembrance for Ned, but
I've been so laundering busy that L
clean forgot it! But Ned, bless his
dear old heart! didn't forget me. L
feel mighty small, L do!" When he
opened the package he found it con-
tanned one of his own books that he
had loaned Ned several weeks before.
He then understood why so many
gathered about him while he was -
moving the wrapper, and also the
meaning of the horse-laugh that ex-
ploded near at hand. Later in the
evening he said to Edward, I'll get
you for that, old boy!'
About a year later, when the Ell1s
were getting up their annual benefit
show, the Hall Lithographing COM
pany printed the souvenir programs,
several thousand of them, and Ned
Henderson, who was running a fine
book and art store, had an ad in It.
He was a very artistic and particular
person, was Mr.. Henderson, of rare
good taste, and he wanted everything
just so; nothing else would do. I don't
he had a line in it that would tend to
cause any LAZY in the city to save up
her money and invest it in books and
things at his store.
After the agreed number of pro-
grams had been gotten out, Mr.. Hall
had six additional copies issued, iden-
tically the same as the rest excepting
wording of the above-referredt
talk to the ladies, appeared the
words. ANY Frowzy Old Woman
During those days hosts of the Elks
took lunch at the club every noon, SO
Hall brought three of the fixed" pro-
grams over just before noon, told sew
eral of US about it. laid one on the ia
BILE for Ned to pick UP when he came
in, and when we saw him coming Hail
adjourned to an adjoining room and,
like Brer Rabbit, "he lay low"
A couple of us sat looking over the
n.
and, noticing the third one innocently
lying on the table between us, pick ID
it up, saying as he did so, Hello.
Here's the program. But, say! isn't it
beauty?' He soon found his ad and,
whewi He turned three different col
ors in a second. That program was a
book of about forty leaves of good
strong paper, but with a few fervid
words he tore it into shreds. threw
them on the table, turned on his heel
and started for the business house of
Hall & Co.
The man in charge there was "on"
as to the bum programs, and was rathr
er expecting Mr.. Henderson, so met
him near the door when he came
frothing in and asked, Where is Mr.
Hal1?"
(which Mr.. HalI?"
Mr.. Willard Hail." with much ac-
cent on his given name
"Over at the Elks' for lunch"
Just came from there; didn't see
him. Who's in charge here, them"
Il am. What's the matter, Mr.
Henderson," seemingly surprised.
Matter enoughi'' roared Edward
"Get one of those Internal programs
and I'll show your
The foreman got a program and
handed it to Edward He turned with
trem bling fingers to his ad, started to
speak, stopped, looked dazed. turned
l.
be- closed his jaws with a snap,
rushed out the door. headed for the
EIks' club, changed his mind and
started up town, then thought better
of it. and with laugh returned to
the E1ks, and, like Davy Crockett's
coon, "came down.
That afternoon he said to me, YES
darn you, and you were reading one
Of them when I came in here and made
a fool of myself, I'll get you for it
one of these days."
= A couple of days later, when the
Efks' show came off, Ed Smith, one
of our finest singers, was on the pro-
gram for a solo, and as an encore he
sang a pleasing little number entitled
Docs Little Willie Want It?" with
chorus accompaniment of
Does little Willie want it?
If Willie always had his way
It really wouldn't do
Did little Willie get it?
NO. Willie didn't get it
For WilHe's mamma knew thing or
two"
Ed Smith had a magnificent voice,
and pleased the crowd immensely, and
when they insisted on more he sang
an additional verse, built by Mr.. Ed
ward Henderson, intending to get
knew Hall was about to get him and
didn't snitch. The verse was slam at
my reputation as the greatest fisher
man in this neck O. woods. and ran
as follows, showing that Ned Hender-