Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-02-07

n Miss PrIngle wen to the pustof-
flee and asked the postmaster to let
Pringle avs h %pustoficc amt no
place for a gol dunn crouch and she
ought to have something to say about
II, as she buys more pustage stamps
than anybody in our village. since h
has been sendin' her pome to- the mag
azines.
Anne Hilliker aid every Teller that
hung around his store this winter had
to bring IA stick OF wood every day to
help out with the fuel. The fust day
under the new ruling every Teller
brought a stick of wood. pickin' it out
down town.
Ben Rinks claims he would have
won the chicken pickin' contest over
at West H%ickeyvillc last week. hut
he lost on a fowl.
Train on u railrnds hesitate mt
this village only on Mondays. Wednes-
days and Fridays. t h mail being
throwcd OFF promiScuous. Sometimes
the mail bag hits our town and
times ii lands seven miles out I'm the
country. all depending on the speed of
the train. Our station agent. who was
other night picked up q %Purdyville
mail bag which had rolled clear down
from that town i'm the wake of a train
a week or so before and hadn't been
missed.
There was quite a contiagration in
the Hard Shell meetin' house last
sunday. Uncle Ezra Harkins eaned
up agin the stove and went tn sleep.
He was wearin his cclluloir collar at
the time. ii bein' Sunday, and Wide
Awake Hose company had considerable
difficulty in extinguishing the angry
element. Several stained glass memo
rial windows was smashed by people
tumpin' through them and during the
excitement some party or parties an
swerlng the general description of Hold
Peters. got away with the collection
plate. Uncle Ezra says he is sorry
he disturbed the meetin'. but he is
glad his hair was singed off. as it will
save him the price of a haircut.
1t is gettin purity hard to get some
thing for nothing and about the only
thing YOU kin get that way is the
| measles.
In sympathy with the advance of
pork, pig iron has gone up several
some people can't understand why
they don't get any mail" said Will
lam Tibbitts. the gentlemanly and
courteous postmaster at H~ickeyville,
VINO has been agile enough to change
his politics always at the %psycholog-
ical moment and to keep the Office from
HAYES down to the present time. II
nave had to stand here ana argue for
half an hour to convince a man that
! haven't got a thing for him. Then
ne X it out on me and after he
gets through GUESSING. he hands it to
the administration.
Then the same man will come in
and get four or five running letters
and hand 1T to me and the admins
tration again.
I'm addition to the chronic kicker.
we have the sweet YOUNG thing who
sSAkE lis fnE la Nyanhnr D-un,.A 1 -,~
instead OF red Ones. claiming that
the red ones don't match her station
AIRY. When we convince her that
we are all out of lavender stamps.
she X a red one and then kicks
because the stickum isn't Favored
with vanilla instead OF crushed rasn-
berry.
TIE CRITIC.
MY father says the paper somehow
amt got up just right.
he finds a lot Of fault with it when
ne reads it at night.
he says there amt q COL dunn thing
In it worth while to read,
Ana that 1t doesn't print the kind of
stun the people need.
he tosseS 1t aside and says it's strictly !
ION the bum
But you ought t. hear him holler !
when the paper doesn't come.
He reads about the weddin's and he |
snOrts like all git out.
Fe reads n social dOin's with a most |
deriseive shout.
He = they make the papers for
the wimmen folks alone.
He'll read about the parties and he'll
fume and fret and groan
He says of information it does NOT
contain a crumb.
But You ought to hear him holler
when the paper doesn't come.
He's always first to grab it and he
reads 1t plumb clear through.
He doesn't miss an item or a want ad
that is true.
He says: '"They don't know what we
want, them durn newspaper guys:
: ~ CONS 20 take q day some time |
go and put en- wise.
1t sometimes seems as though they
must De deaf ana blind and dumb.
But you ought to hear him hOller
lei the paper doesn't cosne
ACCORDING TO UNCLH ABNER.
II Is safer to initiate the birds by
singtn' than by flyin'.
II all the troubles a fel,er expects
should actually happen q him he
wouldn't last NORMA day and q half.
There Is always one safe bet. the
pustmaster will W be agins the ad-
ministratiOn.
The difference between houae
and a cold house Is generally just the
amount OF coal . are wilHn. to burn.
Teller get along if ne happens to be
90ins In the right dtrecti0n-dOwn hill.
1e u wasn't FOR the crooks and shy-
stOrs and scohdalmOngers this earth
would be alMost = good enough
heaven for anybody.
whaN ms hncnSe. a. 80