New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-25
AS | WAS SAYING

Alas poor Italy. S2O000,ooO for military opera
tons in TripoI-the very sum paid Spain for
second hand war in the Philippines, and look at
them now Americans hiding in volcano bishop
going Storage and little Aguinaldo. jr occurring III
Japan on How Father Swan the Lngo]mgo VIII"
General Funston in His Teeth
Considering the season. shall not deal 100
severely with Lady Constance for her attack Oh
clothes but we are much distressed Some com
fort. though. with admirable prudence she SUN
clings to mosquito netting.
That genial humorist Mr.. c. n. Stone has been IN
to tell on Policeman 1861. An accident In the
street we gather; crowds assembling; '4p0ol ais
playing his rare understanding of human nature 10y
roaring: Get out o. here! Beat it, or you'll see Il
thing you don't want to see! BY CORY you Won
forget it long as you live"
All well we conclude 1861 is too young to re-
call those glorious Bowery fake shows-"Paris by
Gasslite." MYSTERIES Of Pursan Coarts ReVeeled'
and all that They have vanished long since. but
dear to memory is the proprietors monologue:
Now. gepmen de exhibition in de rear room is de
real ting an you goes in at yer own risk, see! we
warn youse No oidies an no boys under sixteen
allowed. I'is way gepmen, ten cents one dihe' nc
tenth part Of "A dollar"
VIII 746931 believe it-there was simply no holding
that crowd. In they rushed headlong. TO be horri-
fed by six Indian relics and a stuffed owl
In few days more the Poet and Philosopher will
he out with it's awful article. Docs the Bible GIVE
Woman a Place in Heaven" Guess hardly For
we have searched the Scriptures from our youth up
and it appears that precautions have been taken IN
safeguard the Rider on the White Horse against
tumbles.
Tough luck ladies. yet it has its cheerful side
When poor Tom wilkins lay a-dy!ng Deacon Smally
dropped in to chirk him up. You've been bad
man. Tom. You can't go to heaven That's So
said Tom well" said his consider. you'd batter
be thankful there's a place you can co.
After reading Dr. williams on "The Insane at
Play" and thinking the matter over we find that
we begin to understand poker
America has grown less chcsty-or so our tailor
declares. and who should know II not he? Until re-
Gently customers inflated their lungs, threw back
their shoulders and posed for jackets three inches
too big around. This has ceased.
Politics. no doubt. We predicted some such con-
sequence during the late delightful campaign.
"A woman of thirty, always going upstairs as
people are coming down. has had enough
or H. Not a SnOD, nut only cares lor boHeIhdnS
when respectable and of good birth. Intensely in
terested in literature and Journalism. Replies con-
sidered confidential 80 The Avenue, Kew Gardens
s. w. * 12D"
II you have read the above advertisement with
sufficient care you will why experience no
pangs Of conscience in commencing It to the Bo-
hemans Of New York.
We add our lisp to this noble hubbub the
Henry Ward Beecher Centenary by reviying pre-
cept that should allay anxiety in ten thousand gar
dens where the blazing question is. How to get rid
Of pusey? Said Beecher: Find something 1t is
good for, and then the Lord will prepare bug to
Kill IT,"
THE Ladies' Home Journal" tells how Mr.. Rookie
teller hit little darby boy in the head with a golf
ball. and thought he had slain him outright. But
no. Up hoped the pickannny, reioiced by the five
dollars he received by way of reparaton and chuck
ling: "Golly, Marse John! When is you gwine play
again"
Strange how things like this keep happening.
Several years ago King Leopolds Careless chauffeur
knocked corner off a peasants cottage. and his
majesty Immediately took out his checkbook and
is well known; have you forgotten that when
Leopold next ventured out the roads thronged
with peasants bringing their cottages in their hands
Painless Dentistry at Last"-as If, forsooth it
were something new! Time out of mind 1t has been
practised (you must have noticed the advertise
ments), and learn unimpeachable authority
that 1t never hurt the dentist a bit r. l.. II.