Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-12-18
LAWSoN'S $4,000 BOOK.
"High Cost of Living" Sent to Con-
gressmen Is Fnanciers Latest
Bomb for System.

"High Cost of Living" Sent to Con-
eressmen Is Fnancier's Latest
Bomb for System.
The latest bomb from the Boston
camp of Thomas w. Lawson is a port
ly folio encased in red ooze calf, faced
with crimson silk, printed on hand
made deckle-edged paper and with fine
colored illustrations of devis-quite
the most expensive setting ever devised
for verbal shrapnel The total cost of
the edition was $4,000.
It is full to the brim of explosives,
contains mis- latest magazine articles,
exposing The Systems" responsible
ity for the advancing charges for food,
housing, raiment and transportation,
besides other arguments proving the
relation between Stock Exchange quo
tations and high cost living--done in
the best Lawsonese-vivid, pyrotechnic,
foreeful.
OF this expensive work only 1000
volumes were printed and copy, suit
ably inscribed sent to each member
of the United States Senate and House
of Representatives, and to certain 9TH
er law makers throughout the eoun-
try.
Sandwiched among the serious argu-
ments. printed in red, appear a series
of parallels and epigrams which the
author calls undertakings, from which
the following are excepted:
"Oh the Muck that the Muckraker rakes
Is the Muck that the Muckraker makes
And the Muck that the Muckraker makes
Ie-4 10 A1yyat L
The Wall-street map of America
is divided into three sections: Wall
street, Suckerville and the territory
embraced by Bloomingdale, Mattea-
wan and Washington.
"a Zanzibar galley slave, passing
through Homestead in those good old
days before Andy snapped his $780,
600, 900 of human broilers and heart
and-soul friers into a $500. 100000 IL
cense- to- tax the American-people, was
so terrorized at the sight of My Lord
of Skibo's subjects that he tainted.
Coming to, he begged to be efnbalmed
until he could get back to Gods own
country and ways, and tits said that III
far-off Zanzibar the poor devil even
yet nightmares at the vision of Am
eriea's freedom"
"A son of Erin, loaded to the gun
vale with the ozonic and microbic good
things of Gods free and abundantIy
supplied atmosphere, sitting on the
steamship landing contemplating The
possibilities of getting a lubricant for
his sea- unused innards, or, as second
choice, solid meal for the vacuum
created by his contributions 10 the
fishes on the way over, had his atten-
ton tweaked by the arrival of the
crested brougham of one of the kings
of New York. As the beautiful steeds
were being thrown to their launches,
the bedazzling footman, hurting
through the box and door space to his
Me Ludship," knocked the babe from
the arms of a ragged mother, whose
palsied outstretched for heaven s-sake-
give-me aims hand was already in
through the brougham's window. AS
to- the manner born retainer boot-toed
the babe clear of ME Ludship's" path
with a gently whispered Get to hell
cut of here with your brat" Pat rec
ognized N the plug-hatted statesman
millionaire king of the Western me-
tropolis his old Dublin bar-tending
crony. AS the honest red blood flew
to Pats hungry face. bystander
heard him mutter: Thank God. Ire
land is oppressed! If I'd come over to
the land of freedom and equality when
Mike did. probably by this time I'd
oeen royalty, too"
Just then the ships band struck up
the national air. God Save the
Trusts" in honor of the arrival Of the
company's President.
The 81 American Dollar Kings, those
of quarter billion apiece, recently
held a meeting and voted to petition
the author of Burke's Peerage to es-
tablish an American branch of real
royalty. After a few meetings it look
ed like a go. They agreed on the dol
lar sign for crest, the mushroom for
crown, and that none should qualify
but quarter billionaires; but when they
heard the Burke taboo on combination
plug hats, sack coats and ten-carat-
headlight shirt fronts, they
refused to merge unless the English
code was revised.
And as the System leered, the Peo-
pie raised their Imploring Hands and
their Clenched Fists, and in wild wall
and hoarse howl, which resounded
from ocean 20 ocean and from the
frozen fields to the torrid gulf. Shrek
ed: Justice! Where is Justice?'"
And there was incubated from Lib
erty and Prosperity Leering Thing
The System. And out Of its leering