davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Touch Luck.

Two hard citizens were standing in
secluded spot taking confidentially
One OF them suddenly sneaked away
while the other stood on guard. Soon
the first one was seen to emerge from
window and join his pal.
did youse git anything" whispered
the one in waiting.
Nav, de guy what lives in dere is a
lawyer growled the other.
Oats hard luck" said his pal
did youse lose anything"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

Uncle Sam closed the fiscal year
1918 with a surplus OF $40, 0S3. 229. rep
:. resenting the ex-
Uncle SANS cess of receipts
SurDIlIS Gains. over expenditures,
exclusive OF Pana-
ma canal and public debt transactions.
This exceeds last years surplus by
$3.750.000. Panama canal expenditures
Of $41.741, 900 and public debt transac-
tions, however. wiped out this surplus
and created a deficit for the year of
$2,149. 900.
Total receipts for the fiscal year
amounted to s723,7s2.9 21. while the or
binary disbursements were s6s3.699.-
e92.
The record drinking and smoking OF
the American people during the last
~ months brought the government
5000 AIS, 900 In interest revenue re-
ceipts, which was s16.600.000 greater
than In 1912 and one of the highest
amounts on record. The Peoria dis
trict alone collected $S4, 000,s94, a gain
OF $4.1S2.665.
Corporation taxes yielded the gov
ernment $34. 94s. $50. or $b.S66,766 more
than during the fiscal year 1919.
While custom receipts for the last
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Virtues Reward.

Her Doting Pal thought you'd be
more pleased with your commence
ment gown, when it cost so much
money. Marjorie?
Marjorie-"Why, papa, won't get
half as much attention as the girl
who made her own dress at a cost o.
$2.50.-Puck.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Disguised.

Did you dance any at the party,
Manner"
mo, but had such a compliment
from one of the gentlemen. He told
somebody made such a nice mural
decoration"
And you never knew he was call
ing you wallffowerr"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

The Clergyman had no idea pro
family was SO prevalent till l began TO
drive a car.
His Wife-Do you hear much Of
1t on the road?
The Clergyman-Why, nearly every
one l bump into swears frightfullyl
Puck.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Disqualified.

Mrs. McCarty-An' phwat does your
son Teddy be doin' now. Mrs. Flynn
Mrs. Flynn-He's dom tonne, Mrs.
McCarty; but It's not his fault that
he's a pickDocket poor bye! They
won't let him on tn perleece foorce
on account Of his lungs.-Paek.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Queer Terms.

There is one funny thing about a
successful play"
What is that?"
when II is a walkover they call
II a run"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
PestIferous Creatures.

II presume you would call sitting
on the lawn and picking violets a
peetical attitudeG"
yes but little red ants are apt q
spell the att. uGs."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
Reaplte From RantIme.

so the parade was a success1"
Eyes. II was a remarkable pa
rade."
IN what particular"
The band played tunes that were
appropriate to the occasion"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19
LARGE Order,

He weighs three hundred pounds,
Or more, and yet.
His little wife, with cooling sounds,
Calls him her pet"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

Miss Caustique-Strange that you
don't get married.
Miss Antique-Statistics show that
there are not enough men to go
around and I'm still very young yet.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

Uncle Sam has made up his mind
to steer his people by dangerous
pitfalls If they
Warns Against listen to him.
Pitfalls. Inc O'n p,.' uas
assistant TO DR.. Rupert Blue OF the
United States health service, issued
statement telling everybody how TO
keep cool and well in hot weather.
Following this warning Secretary d.
F. Houston Of the department OF agri-
culture gave out some useful hints
about summer food and drinks.
Boiled down, the advice Of Mr..
Houstin is:
The nose and eyes are the house
wives best detectives Of bad food.
Smell, observe and taste everything
offered as food In the summer time,
The ptomaine, a deadly poison bacil-
II. thrives nightly In this weather.
Mothers should examine and taste
all food for infants, to detect faint
Pasteurize all milk. II is the most
dangerous food. when not absolutely
clean, pure and fresh.
Clean your ice box and do moi
handle food more than necessary.
Avoid all uncooked foods.
Be careful OF doubtful restaurants,
particularly so OF high seasoned meats
and fish.
Insist on boiled water at summer re-
sorts. Do not be misled by the guar
anteed under the pure food and drugs
act label.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

hoN NhN oPAIG ubbu ny Aub UOHAdA
service in federal buildings has a rent
al value aggregat-
RENTAL value ing more than five
ASCertained. and half million
dollars annually
is shown by statistics gathered by
Jonathan Bourne, Jr., chairman Of the
joint committee on railway mail pay
and second-class postage. This rental
value has never before been ascer-
tanned, and has never been considered
in computing the cost of the postal
service. In making the figures pub
lie, Mr. Bourne said:
Under present methods of post Of
fee bookkeeping, If the government is
paying $4,000 a year for rent of quar-
tiers for a post office, that expenditure
is charged as an expense of the serv-
ice. But if the government expends
100000 for a public building and To-
Gates the post Office therein, the rental
charge ceases, showing, according to
the books, a decrease of $4,000 in ex-
penses, whereas, in fact, a charge Of
three per cent. interest on the invest
ment would equal the former rent. No
account has been kept of the rental
value of public buildings.
Believing that definite information
should be available upon this subject, l
asked custodians of all federal build
ings to submit estimates of the rental
value of buildings under their jurisdic-
ton. From information thus secured,
and with a statement of the PROPOSE
ton of space used by the postal serv-
ice, 1t was ascertained that the rental
properly chargeable to the postal serv-
ice is $5,514,797 in the 719 buildings
concerning which reports were re-
ceived. l submit that intelligent bust
ness methods should require that this
amount be debited against the postal
service in addition to the S4,2S0,0O0
now debited for rental of buildings not
owned by the government"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

ernoon. 1t attract
ed dozens of tourists, who flocked into
the galleries and applauded the pro-
ceedings.
Joseph O'Toole, a messenger in
charge of the pages, occupied Vice
President Marshalls chair. The others,
in shirt waists and Knockers, ranged
themselves along in the front seats,
usually occupied by dignified states
men.
A resolution was proposed increas-
ing the salaries of all pages from SIS
to 5000 month. Then a nimble page
hoped to his feet and offered substi-
tute fixing the compensation at $4,000
month. This was adopted with
huzzah that ratified the fresco work.
A bill was offered for the relief OF
bull pups, with the request that 1t be
referred to the committee on dog fight
ing.
A yongster named Mccoy was In
clined to be noisy, and the gavel pound
ing Of O'Toole did not suppress him.
When a mock senator moved that the
sergeant-at-arms be instructed to ap-
rsy a Maxim muffler to Mccoy, Colonel
Higgins came strolling In through
rear door. He laughed and joined the
audience.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

That the space used by the postal
service in federal buildings has a rent
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

Uncle Sam closed the fiscal yea
1918 with a surplus OF SAC, .229. rel
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-08-19

The pages of the senate, all young
sters of twelve and thirteen. held 6
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
POLl'S NEW
 PLAYHOUSE BUILT
 BY BRIDGEPORTER
One of Handsomest and Most Commodious Theatres
 In the Country
People of Springfield Flock By Thousands to Inspect
 It-Has Immense Seating Capacity on Lower Floor
 and Has But One Balcony
CSpeciaI to The Farrner.1

Springfield, Dec. 27-The handsome new PoH theatre, called Poli's Palace, which was thrown open to the amuse- rient loving public this week continues 10 be the principal topic of discussion in this city. The new institution is a fine and welcome addition to the mag nificent group of new buildings which have been erected in this city with recent years Next to the mammoth Municipal Auditorium building the new PoH playhouse is the most com modious enclosure in the city and it win be many weeks before the people
 Of Springfield and vicinity cease to ex- press their admiration of the genius of MT. PoH and his indefatigabIe corps of skilled assistants who CO., operate with him in his enterprises
 While it is not the intention of the writer to go into detail in describing the latest of the Po1i theatres, this story would be incomplete without af- fording the reader a sort of glimpse of what the new playhouse looks like.
 Passing through the dazzlingIy- lighted lobby, the spectators finds himself at the back of a vast expanse of seats. so great in depth and width that only the auditorium of the rnuni- cipa1 group can be suggested for com parison-
 The front of the house is, of course the place where ornamentation is looked for, and what was to be seen here was admired by all. On each side of the proscenium arch are eight boxes. -nal1 in size, and of hand some foreign design, four being on a level with the orchestra floor and four directly above them, ranged from the base of the balcony toward the stage Each pair of boxes is sepa- rated by fluted pilasters, in white and gold. which are surmounted by ornate golden capitals The entire front of the house, including the great sound ing board, is in white and gold and even without the electric illumination makes a brilliant appearance. The decorations are marked by fine and solid taSte-unusual in a theatre de- voted to vaudeville, or, indeed in any theatre There is no figure painting anywhere. The hangings of the boxes are of a rich red, the one color to har- mOnize perfectly with the white and gold
 And not only is the eye pleased. but 1 the spectators comfort is considered | as well Not only are the seats ex- 1 seilsntly upholstered. but they are |
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
NORTH CHURCH.

Christmas Cantata, Sunday afternoon,
 '"The Shepherds Vision
 Tomorrow afternoon Horatio Park er's Cantata, ''The Shepherdis s Vision,' '' is to be sung at the First Congrega- tional church. Director Oviatt has ar ranged a pleasing program of organ selections. The program of the Can tata. commencing at twenty minutes after o'clock is as follows:
 Quartette-''In a Far-off Eastern Country
 Tenor So1o-eFear Ye Not"
 Soprano Solo-'fRise and Swift with Welcome Hasten
 Quartet-"Then Came the Pious Shepherds
 Address by the pastor. Rev. H. D. CaIlaudet.
 Bass soIo-"O Then my Soul
 Quartet-"Sing Halelujah to God the Lord"
 The choir will be composed of Mrs. Mary Sherwood, Mrs. Susan Hawley Davis, MT. Alexander Howell, Mir Robert Clarke. MT. Lorenzo OViatt, or ganist and director.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
EVOLUTION.

This doctrine will be discussed at the Vesper Institute of the South Church Sunday afternoon at o'clock under the following questions: How did God make the world? Is the doc Urine of evolution a help or hindrance to religious faith? Did man ascend from the animal? What do Christian scholars generally believe about it This is a vital theme. Every one should strive for an intelligent grasp of the wider view of the universe and a grander conception of God. The child of God should seek through eV- cry means to know his Father better that he may cooperate with Him in His great purpose. Organ recital be- ginning at 4:5o. The church quar- tette will render a fine program of Christmas music. All interested are cordially invited to attend this ser vice.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

roomy and ample space is allowed be- tween the rows. The theatre is we'll provided with smoking and retiring rooms, and everywhere the appoint ments are of a substantial order. The house has but one balcony, every sec tion of which commands a perfect view of the stage. The balcony en- trance begins with a, stairway leading from the lobby, and balcony patrons do not pass inside the auditorium ArchitectuEa11y the house is a fine achievement.
 erection of the spacious structure to the T. J. Pardy Construction Co., of Bridgeport, and the enterprisfng Bridgeport firm completed the con tract inside of the time agreed de spite the fact that an important part of the work was held up for several weeks owing to the inability of the steel makers to get the shipment of steel to the scene of operation within the time specified.
 MT. Pardy placed Henry F. Greene of this city in charge of the work and Supt. Greene labored early and late to get the theater ready for the date MT. Poli desired to have for opening night.
 MT. Poli expressed his pleasure at the fine showing made by the contrac- tors and at the dinner which he gave at the HOlel worthy IollOWIng the 1n1- tia1 performance in the new house MT Pardy and wife, MT. Greene and wife and the resident manager of the Poli theater ats Bridgeport, MT. Saunders, were the Bridgeporters who were Mr. Polls guests.
 MT. Gordon Fighter, one of the best known theatrical managers in the east is manager of the new playhouse and to say that he is as tickled over it as a child with his Xmas toys would be but putting it mildly. Mir Fighter considers it the finest and tastiest playhouse he has ever seen and is sure that the theater goers of Springfield and vicinity will man 1fest their approval of MT Polls en- terprise in the most substantial way.
 All of MT. Poli's interesting family and notable guests from other cities were present at the initial perform ance.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
FARMERS LONDON WRITER
 TELLS OF FAULTS IN ENGLISH
Oxford Organization Finds Fault With Manner Of Speech Used By British Themselves==Tenpe Work
 CTS To Storm Parliament Next

London, Dec. 27-An organization which promises to shake London compIacency as the fountain head or English as it should be spoken, mas taken form at Oxford under the dlrec- ton of the Poet Laureate RoDerI Bridges, aided by such masters or Eng fish as Thomas Hardy, Dr. Henry Bradley, Sir walter Raleigh and Fro lessor John W. MackaiL
 While the objects of the associa ton have not yet been fully defined, they probably will include the publication of literature, the delivery of lectures attempts ultimately to influence tAe teachers over the whole country lo aid in the restoration of the purity or the language, both written and spoken and to resist the unnecessary 1ncor- poration of foreign words, and to en- courage the adoption in polite speech of crisp, terse, vigorous words rom the dialects.
 rather than the English that Johnson wrote is the object aimed at by the association Johnson would have said rot but he would have written '-putrefy.''
 In tract prepared for the English Association Dr. Bridges declares that we say "neycher'' for nature and that tune is well on it's way to become --chiune-'' A professor of English has been heard to say "audjins,'' for au-
 
 '-sweshyun'' for question, and is sadly addicted to the word. The younger generation say paving for pouring. Fortunately the educated south is learning that there is an 'fh'in wheel and when. Ireland and Scotland nev- CT forget it.
 Dr. Bridges concludes his tract as follows: "A Londoner will say that a Scotchman talks strangely and i'll; the truth is that he himself is in the typical attitude of vulgar ignorance in these matters. He is disposed to look down upon all that he is un- accustomed to and not knowing the true distinctions, he esteems his own degraded custom as correct
 A temperance campaign as exciting as that which accompanied the intro duction of the licensing measure un- der the Lloyd George budget is prom ised for the coming session of Parlia- ment- A demand for a licensing re- form bill has been issued behalf of the United Kingdom Alliance by it's president, Jeff Jones, MP.
 The manifesto declares that 'tl1e in troduction next year of a comprehen- sive temperance measure into the House of Commons would elicit such widespread response and Backing from the most various and unaccustomed quarters as would astoIish all who have not followed closely the solidify- ing of opinion on the subject during recent years'' The Alliance points out further that MT. Lloyd George has said that n0 reform, political or so-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
NEW HAVEN STOCK RISES THREE POINTS
 IN HEAVY MARKET

New York, Dec. 27-Opening-Exce for a drop of 3-4 in Canadian Pa cific there were no important move ments in stocks at today's opening. Resumption of trading in London af- ter the holiday had little effect on quotations abroad of American stocks showing changes of consequence Traders here took less interest in the market than at any time since the advance began and the volume of bus mess was small. Canadian Pacific. sold at POS 1-4 the years low record and a loss of nearly so points from the high figure of 1913. The leading shares in most cases opened a shade under yesterdays close. Some of the less active stocks developed strength Missouri Pacific and Utah Copper rose nearly a point.
 C1ose-+The market closed heavy. The advance in stocks was checked today. Absence of the vigorous de mand of the last few days was felt in all quarters and although some is
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
I1- -CoUcHS oFFlCE lNDtCaTED BYARRow. 2-c1ELNIA F2.CouCH g. r1RS .CURLETTE gs1 easesss ET -JAt1ES C&tRLETTE Glgx
EI IE SEX s< E. S,s:s sessst sse7ssSsttaro4& ,o.a

Monticello, Dec. 27.-swamped with letters and telegrams from charitable institutions, well meaning individuals and from. cranks- .Aderaide M Branch, the woman in the case" in Melvin H. Couchis double lire, is passing the holiday season in jail reading the communications and making plans for the future. Dr. ana Mrs. James F. Curlette are at present central figures in the scandal revealed at the law yer's sudden death. Dr. CurIette it was who made public the story that Lawyer Couch had made a woman his slave for seven years in a room adjoining his office. Mrs.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

Curlette is sister Of the dead man
 She and her husband are endeavor- ing to locate a win believed to have been made by Couch Word has been received from Miss Branch's brother, H. O. Branch of Hartwick, who said he would arrive here to take care of his sister. When II was suggested that he would ask her to go home with him Miss Branch asserted that she was determined not to return to her native town, but plans to go west as soon as she is .4o1e to realize on two mortgages which she possesses and which are mentioned in a will signed by the woman and found by Mrs. Couch and her daughter, Louise.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

sues showed inadequate streng tn, their rise failed to exert sustained in- 0uence elsewhere.
 Bear -speculat tors were active and it was evident that driving in Of the shorts recently had weakened the technical position of the market New Haven was exceptionally strong ris- ing 8 points. The advance was due to circumst tantia1 reports that the company was nearing an agreeme ent with the attorney general. 5 Losses of the prominent stocks did not exceed moderate fractions except
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
Syrians Surprised
 By French Aviator

Beirut, Dec. 27.-JuIes Vedrines, the French aviator now on a1 air trip from Paris to Cairo, caused a sensa- ton here today when he made the first aeroplane flight ever carried out over this city.
 The patriarch presented the aviator with a bouquet prior TO his departure for Cairo.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
New Haven Directors Receive Reports On
 Segregating Lines

New York. Dec. 27.-The directors Of the New York, New Haven & Hart ford Railroad met nere today to re- ceive the reports of b-committees appointed last October to consider the advisa bility of segregating the various subsidiaries of the road including steamship companies and trolley II, es. It was expected that the meeting would be protracted until late in the afternoon
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
@ ALE We have purchased manufacturers stock of BED SPREADS

These chased seconds being slightly imperfect but does not interfere with the wearing qualities
 Marseilles and Satin Demy Spreads at $139 s15O S2OO $225 $25O $275 These prices will very the price.
 Fringed Spreads, $225, $2.5O $2.75.
 ScalIoped Edge, $25O, .$2.75
 On sale Friday. SPECIAL CLOSING OUT PRICES ON LEFTOVER HOLIDAY
 GOODS AT THE JEWELRY DEPARTMENT per Rhinestone trimmed Combs, Side Combs and Barrettes.
 per discount Jewel Boxes and fancy ornaments for the dressing table. AT THE ART DEPARTMENT
 Fancy Pin Cushions closing at half price. Also a of novelties the Pin Cushion line at half price. BOOK DEPARTMENT
 All 25c Books going at 19c a copy. NOTION DEPARTMENT
 WorlB closing out at half price.
 Special Toilet Gases, Shaving Mugs, Man Sets Etc. NOAHs ARK
 All Holiday the basement Toys, Games, Pic tures Horses Seds Dos Books be closed Bargain Prices
 THE SMITH-MURRAY C
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
oLIvET -CoNGREGATIONAL

Rev. George O. TambIyn, pastor Morning service, 1O:30, sermon What Shall We Do with the Old Year z? Vesper service, 5 to D. m., subject '"The Commendation of Jesus" Spe- cial music will be provided. Sunday school at noon. Christian Endeavor at
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27
Compensation Law Is
 Accepted By Church

Meriden Dec 27.-Compensation in- surance will be taken Ou1 covering the pastor, sexton, organist and quar- tet of the Center Congreg gationaI church by the society The risks cost S11 per annum.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

in a. few cases. Reading lost 1, Le- high Valley and Canadian Pacific 8 5-S.
 Bonds were irregular.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

New Orleans-T. Walter Danziger Iiquidator of a bank and construction company, bonded for $125,0OO is missing; killed, says wife.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

6: 30 D. m. Mirweek meeting, Wednes- day g. p. nn.. watch night service will be conducted.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

Byram, N, J.-F,rank1in G. Colby has presented a claim of $5O1 to town committee for forty-threee of his sheep killed by dogs.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-27

In spite of the lack of interest in the Duke of Westminster's Olympic games fund, the HVeliest interest is being shown here in the International Congress, which will be held in Paris next June to promulgate a code Of uniform regulations for the games.
 It is understood that the English delegation will make several important proposals to the congress, among the most radical being a suggestion that women be included among the conpe- titors. Other matters to be brought before the congress will be the ques- ton of the restriction of entries; a minimum age for competitors, and whether a distinction should be made between sports, indispensable for the Olympiad and those which, though not indispensable can be admitted.
 It is believed that the delegates will be a unit in demanding that the na- tion where the games are being held shall not be given an unfair advantage by giving undue prominence to the games in which that country excels. The technical regulations and the du- ties Of the jury in the games will be defined by the congress with more rig idity than under the present rules