Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1913-12-17
PECULIAR CLIENTS
Cranks With Whom Lawyers
Sometimes Have to Deal.
QUEER CASES OUT OF COURT.

and nelr NlaIHh Arc Suoe rNSSHe 30
Visionary as Those Of Numerous
Patent Seekers Are Freakish.
"What is the most peculiar case that
has ever been brought to you by a
prospective cllentY was the question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the ablest lawyers in New York.
The lawyer said that probably the
oldest client who had ever visited him
was woman about forty years old.
who wanted to bring suit against one
of the Sunday newspapers for not hay
ing printed an account Of her latest
social function on Its society page,
as she had particularly requested over
the telephone.
As the second oldest client, he cited
the case Of another woman who had
come to him In tears and sought to en-
list bis legal aid in making her hus-
band stop flirting. 'The woman as
sured me that she loved her husband
and that she knew her husband loved
her. but that he had a habit Of wink
ing at every good looking woman he
saw said the lawyer. when told
her there was no legal redress for her,
inasmuch as she said was fool II |
even thought she or her husband want
ed divorce, she exclaimed that was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
Of and left my Office In q rage"
The same question was put to sever
al other lawyers and an unbelievably
peculiar assortment Of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case Of
man who asked him to represent him
for two months at the patent office In
Washington. Il want you to go there,
stay there and represent me-" he said
But interposed the attorney, what
in the world do you want me to do
while am there?"
The man drew his chair close to the
lawyers and In low tones told the at
torney that he had invented an aero
plane clock as he called It. and that
he wanted him to go to the patent Of
fice and prevent any other inventor
from sneaking in similar invention
while the authorities are In careless
mood
The man seemed TO be In his normal
senses despite the fact that his highly
priced invention was absolutely moth
ing more than a small watch fastened
in leather case, the sort that may be
seen IN stores anywhere. When he
had impaired this Information the law
yer pointed out that there was moth
Ing patentable about his invention"
"There isn't, eh2" shouted the man.
Indeed there Isl Who has ever
thought before this OF putting a clock
IN an airshlp?
The attorney sought to humor him
and said. Wouldn't watch In the
aviator's pocket do as wellI'
The man jumped up. That's just
the pointl" he cried ut would not do
as well. because II might fall out"
Against such logic the attorney said
he found himself helpless, and he told
the man he feared the case was too
difficult for him to handle
Another strange client who visited a
patent lawyer wanted to secure pat
cnt on flower clothespln." The lat.
ter was an ordinary wooden clothespln
with little wire point on top On the
latter fresh flowers might be stuck,
thereby, according to the inventor,
'givlng tho clotheslInes the appearance
Of flower gardens" He saw fortune
from the sale Of his pins In cities
When the lawyer assured him that
besides the fact that there was more
sentimentality than practlcabllity to
his invention. o pin stuck IN the end
OF the wood would serve Just as effec-
lively as the "lnvented" piece Of wire,
the client threatened to bring suit
against him for violation OF conn.
dence"
Another patent lawyer said that the
oddest client who had ever come to
him was young woman who wanted
his help IN getting patent literally.
ON an idea"
"what Is your idear asked the law
yer curlously.
The young woman refused TO tell
him. saylng that she hesItated TO di.
vulge the nature Of bor idea until Il
hnd been secured BY patent Il won't
trust anybody with Il. not even you"
she told the lawyer
Like the famous Anncke Jams heirs
there nre numerous strange cases Of
40 called ancestor clients" to be had
from the lawyers.
Ono of the oldest OF these n cited
by New York lawyer OF Wide prac
ticc mot long ago" he says "ther,
came to my Office a woman who insist
ed tbn, she owned the lower part Of
the Hudson river. having Inherited Il
from Henry Hudson. her ancestor b,
right Of discovery
III this seems an exaggerated cas-,
shall cite a second one that n stmn
Eer still. Last winter q man. who ualS
be had boen recommended to me by
spirit at a scance he had ATTENDED
several niFhtA previous, wanted me b
prove his title to the land upon whicl
the uuhtronsury building stands, II
told me that II had been given 10 a
ancestor OF hiN by George washlnrto
out Of gratitude for the formers lon
Of coat during ono Of the campaign
Of The Revolutionary war Curlou