El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-10-22
Which Should Love Most?
In Many Homes Affection Is Wasted
by Loving Wife or Husband
on Indifferent Mates.
by Dorothy Dix

VI THICH should love most-the
w husband or the wife,
OF course, the real answer
to this question is, neither. Both hus-
band and wife should bring TO the
holy estate every bit of devotion of
which they are capable. The ideal
marriage is one in which man and
woman alike love, and are loved, 70
the very measure of their desire; IN
which they give with lavishness that
knows no stint and receive with gen
erosity that has no bounds.
Unfortunately, however, this dream
of perfect mutual love rarely material
ICES in actual life, and it is only too
true that with the great majority OF
married couples the loving is pretty
One-sided affair.
In one family we see wife break
ing the alabaster casket of her love
and burning the incense OF her deYO-
Indifferent that he scarcely troubles
to throw a kind glance in her direc-
ton. as one might toss bone 10 a
hungry dog.
man Iavishing a splendid devotion on
a heartless and selfish woman. We
see him tOiling like a slave TO deck
her in fine clothes and make life soft
and EASY for her. we see him guard
ing her with his life, enveloping her
with a divine tenderness, always
standing between her and the hard
ships of life-and she takes all OF
this wonderful love as no more than
her due, with never a word OF thanks
or a sign of appreciation
Since this is the case, and few mar
ried couples are equally fond, which Is
better, for the man to love the most
or the woman? I think that if there
must be any difference in affection
ties in a marriage, it is better for all
concerned for the woman to love the
most.
Compared to the mad Joy OF loving.
being loved is a poor, weak emotion
Nevertheless, If a man has to decide
between the woman he loves and the
woman who loves him, he is wise If he
takes the latter.
mans love-at least, his romantic love
is a. flame that soon burns itself out.
while a WOmanS love IS a slow ana
steady fire that lasts as long as life
does a mans love, no matter how
ardent and passionate in the wooinS
days, soon settles down into a good,
useful friendship and partnership sort
of a feeling toward his wife, so that
six months after marriage it's all one
to him whether he married the Juliet
of the balcony or Mary Jane of the
He's got other things than senti-
ment to engage his attention The
real vital things Of life to him are his
ana SeLlluS on III the WOE4Q
and not the state of his affections.
Moreover, men do not probe into their
emotions. nor dwell on them, and so,
if a mans wife is agreeable and pleas
ant and makes him a good home, he's
Just as fond of her and as happy with
her as if she had been the original
maiden of his dreams. Generally, he's
a good deal happier than he would be
if he were married to a woman who
kept him always on the anxious seat
trying to please her.
Inasmuch as practically every wOm-
an spends her life seeking love it is
In giving love than in receiving it.
But such is the case. 1t is a mis-
fortune for woman never to have
been loved, but it is a tragedy to her
never to love.
The great argument in favor Of Civ
ing women the right to select their
marries the man she wants is always
satisfied and cOntented, whereas the
woman who is forced to take the man
she can get rather than the one she
less, no matter what a paragon he
nay be.
The woman who loves is invariably
l good wife, because she not only finds
her greatest pleasure in ministering
to her husband, but she is always
breaking her neck trying to please
him She is forever on her good be-
lavior because she is forever wooing
No other wife on earth is such
husband spOiler as the woman who
Knows that she loves her husband bet
ter than he does her. Any man who de-
sires a cinch in matrimOny does well
70 accompany to the altar the girl who
las hunted him down rather than the
)ne he has pursued and captured him !
self.
If either the husband or the wife
shall love the better, it is for the good
IF the family that il shall be the
wife No man can make a happy and
comfortable home. That rests with the
woman. If woman does not love
Ter husband she makes a home that is
full of quarrels and spats, of COM !
and repining. of reslessness /
md dissatisfaction. UnconsciOusly she :
caches her children disrespect for
heir father and lack of affection for [
him. on the other hand, the woman !
Who is passionately devoted to her 4
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