davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1913-01-04
New York's Marines
Smile at This Junior

~APT. W. r. d. IRVINE. r. N. r..
commander Of the Laconia, ID
renowned for his mild manner.
There 10 ono Junior officer In the Cunard
service. however. who once believed
Capt Irvine to b the meanest COM
mander on the seas. This Junior officer.
had Joined the Pannonla. which was
then commanded by Capt. Irvine. II
was the Juniors frst voyage In steam"
Tho Pannonia was passing through the
Straits Of Messina. Capt. Irvine was
on the bridge. The JUNIOR had been
pacing the deck below the bridge In an
excited manner for several minutes.
Finally. he hailed tho captain on the
bridge. Astonished. the captain looked
down at the junior.
II think we're too close In shore, SIR"
said tho junior,
'Oh, do your How interesting" re-
piled Capt Irvine, and resumed his 1ae-
Ing OF the bridge.
This junior was later telling MS
troubles 10 sam Mcneil. now Captain
Of the Ausonia. Mcneil had asked him
how he liked hts captain. The junior
had replied that the old man" was toe
sarcastic 10 suit him and related the
Strait. OF Messina experience. Mcneil
was petrlned for a full minute. When
he recovered he informed the youngster
a lot regarding the relations Of q junior
officer to his captain.
That this little yarn may be appre-
a
ing OF captain on the bridge by q
junior officer Is considered lese majestic
The idea OF a junior Offering advice 1,
an objectionable ofYense. Juniors have
lost out IN the service for bidding good
morning to their captains without first
having been spoken TO,
The evening world., 1913-01-04

a prise az o6o.oo M 0oll. and she.u bc
pIcked ont Of the srand march nv the
competent 1udres. who will he entire
stra Myers and therefore not influenced.
Tho prettiest Girl 10 going 10 get tn.
arst prise. Her complexion expression
and general facial characteri,t,c. viii
decide this award.
Thu 1iftass< eyhsahs. vii, ret ,be an y.
ond prise Of aas.oo 4, oolA. Nv ",1iftv-
Va mean what thu Frsncb neonIs call
"chic." which means "cuts." dainty"
"fetchinr"-vou knov on. n, ,h,..
kids that WIN "a, . 0..h ~ ana ,,,n
.be'. rons And vou .n.nd ,hs ,.., y,
IN. ~,.sk vond.r,n. wh,,,, ~,.y Oh.
The evening world., 1913-01-04

-REDERIcK MOORE. associated
II Press Correspondent at Pekin.
who has just arrived II New York
from n,tantinople. where he "eov-
sred' the Bulgarian war. told a good
story on Gov sulEer at the I,otos Club,
where he Is staying for a few days until
ne starts for CHINA.
Back IN Sulzer's early Congresi on al
days Moore was a Washington cores
pondent and was waiting for an inter
lew one day when no saw Sulzsr come
,tfom the Representatives chamber and
greet two New York constituents.
.Howdy boys" sa'd Congressman Bill
Tho boyS were pleased.
bill" said one. there don't seem 10
b. anything doing and We gottsr get
away. when're yuh goin' TO spsakf'
Bill allowed there was a rather dull
session.
That's tough luck" said tho second
constituent. 1--WE just wanted TO hear
YOU make a speech.'
Sulzer pulled his forelock. until a
Thought came. 1Ie produced tickets for
the special gallery
You 60 up there" said Bill, and
m make a speech"
The Speaker was informing consular
,ppropriat lions. which we're passed with
'Al"ns' o., a.,
Tho customary appropriation Tor mo
consul In the Transvaal MAS read ah
aoout 10 be passed. when sulzer strobe
do ~ che assas In wsrllks stutuds' he
The evening world., 1913-01-04

from civilizations centre. went to
bed.
"Tired nature soon yielded to the en-
brace OF the downy couch. I slept. or
thought did. Above my head fantastic
shapes were woven out Of the air. The
figure OF . beautiful woman noatsd
above me. Her face was near to mine.
II was q beautiful face. No. II was
not that Of my wife. confess was
startled. closed my eyes. then opened
them. The woman and the beautiful
face were stu there. st Up and the
face disappeared. I lay back on my
pillow and It came again to me. I
looked about. I saw . white figure
waving In the rays Of the electric light.
I wondered II I were seeing things.
II recalled that I had been told tina,
tho gentleman who had occupied my
suite before me had been addicted 10
the use Of morphine. But no. There
was a tug at my wrist. Involuntary
sat bolt upright In bed. The beautiful
face faded away. I said aloud that
had never believed IN splritualism and
then asked II anybody was there. No
answer came and I got up. The figure
IN white was stfil waving toward me,
and then saw again the outlines OF
the other. followed tho vapor-liko
form and It led me to the candle. The
wick was still burning and the smoke
from II had formed the spiritual form
had seen floating above my bed. The
figure In white was my shirt. A strange
The evening world., 1913-01-04

experience for my nrst night In ta-.he
club, wasn't III"
EUGENE johnson. whom the members
Of the club call Warden for q Josh. In
always on hand. He. too. makes his
homo In the club. He says that the
members rarely 10 out for weeks and
months a. Q time. Mr.. Roberts has de-
ciarsd that he will not leave the hos
pita6ie quarters for six months. BY
thAk time he will have saved $780,
That means twenty.six weeks Of ALL
meny at ~ . week. which he will not
have 70 pay. When he leaves he takes
. withdrawal card from the Ailmony
Club. Il will BE- his goodnight to ALL
mony.
II expect to DO good deal OF writing
during my stay here said the actor.
IT have a play AL framed out. and In
six months I can finish It In fine shape.
I will have my library brough. down
early next week. or that part OF Il I
may need. will have a good rest and
will be free from all trouble. look
forward to the next six months with
unqualified pleasure. The members OF
the club have found interesting
Every one Of them has a story to tell
and each wants mo TO write II up.
viii have no dearth Of material and I
am sure the surroundings will be very
congenial."
I'VE treat our pris-our members
fine," said Julius Hamburger. the Sheriff.
"Once q month they have high links
\
The evening world., 1913-01-04
When James r. Keene
Bet on His Favorite,

A THROUGH James r. Keene. the
~ dead hnancier and turfman, was
4 4 known a. the nerviest of Wall
street operators. he was anything but
q betting man on the race tracks. He
dearly loved to win valuable stakes,
and he won nearly everything In this
line except the classic English Derby.
His horses rarely carried anything but
an inhnitesimal wager. Big wagers
were. few and tar between with him.
One day when his Ben Brush colt
Bosom was making his racing debut at
Sheepshead, Mr.. Keene visited the mad.
dock In company .. with his trainer.
Jimmy Rowe, and inspected the colt
miuutely. Keens was vary fond NJ,
The evening world., 1913-01-04

. ticket upon her. She no sooner
gianccd at II with = practical eye than
she raised tho objection:
This seat 10 too far back"
Believe me. madame" the persuasive
treasurer assured her. "if you at am
closer to the stage Il would hurt your
ears"
ia IKE two OF your best seats"
came from the next face that appeared
at the window. Five dollars accom-.
panied the cheerful appirition. Tas
tickets. with no change. were promptly
handed out.
why do you charge me two-and-a-
half apiece for these" demanded the
Indignant purchaser.
you asked for the best seats" sx-
planned tho rising young treasurer. and
gave you the best hsd-two In a
box"
We'll. III be-
Pleased. ! hope" put In the smiling
genius OF the box ONCE.
And that's the way II went until the
ail-round actor tore himself away from
the ticket rack and dashed on 10 his
dressing room. Here I asked him how
no caught his catchwords.
Usually l do It by getting q line on
The evening world., 1913-01-04

INV I'LL you step into the bar
w room? The privileges of tho
Alimony Club are yours
II was Theodore Roberts. the well
known actor. talking. lie had taken
up apartments In the Allmony club IN
the Hamburger Building In Ludlow
street the day before Sometimes they
undtsnify the hospitable lodging house
OF ghern Harburger by the name Of
the Ludlow Street Jail. There Is no
accounting for tastes.
The barroom was a room with per-
pendicular bars. These were just as
good ~ any to man who had made
New Years resolutions. Mr.. Roberts
had made the resolutions. For six
months he IL on the water wagon. lie
10 taking the Hamburger cure.
Il would take you up TO my rooms"
Mr.. Roberts continued. but my man is
out this afternoon making necessary
10 hardly presentable."
Mr.. Robertss application for member
ship to the exclusive Ludlow street ALI
mony Club was signed by his wife.
one has to be vouched for TO get into
the club. It's like going into the Eagle
or belonging to Tammsny-something
like IT, Mrs. Roberts has been very kind
to her actor and playwright husband.
she took care Of all his money. and
now when he hasn't any more money
she has provided q home for him at
Afhs A1Amony Club.
'"Its very pleasant here" said the
new member OF the club. THE mem
here Of the club are . delightful lot OF
fellowA and they gave mo royal well
come last niGht. We had music and
singing. played cards. chess and check
era 0sns johnson. the warden-er. I
should ~ the manager Of the Clubs
extremely hospitabls. He sings well.
too. n Q man wanted to leave here.
Gene wouldn't hear Of It. lie simply
wouidn't lot him 90. had TO complain
this morning Of my bath. like a hot
bath n the morning and the tempera-
lure Of the water was . little low. He
assured jamsst my man. that there
would ~ ~ complaint In the future.
N y sg>esms,y quiet here. - you
mus hsvs noticed. 1t never gets noisy,
have ossn assured. like quiet.
love tAe twiiiSht and like TO write by
the tuA< of . tallow candle at times.
InstsaA u the asctric light last might
had Q Skndls. A strange thing hap.
pensd. don't believe IN ghosts. have
little faith in dreams. and I have never
been strong on spiritualism. But leave
Il to you 20 make what you can out
Of this occurrence.
II had been reading IN my easy chair
by the soft candle light I read until
| felt drowsy. then blew out the light
You can't imagine the sensation OF
blowing out the light Of candle. II
hroueht memories of camping out. OF
a crude but delightful hotel In a pretty
mountain fastness. OF q night on board
my yacht stood In my bare feet on
the soft Persian rug looking out through
an aosrture through which streamed the
rays Of an electric lamp on the street.
But for the electric light could have
imagined myself q thousand miles away
The evening world., 1913-01-04

1T into the appropriation hammer and
tongs. demanding that the English
Government pay for the consul. a. he
was OF more service TO England than
the United States The subject Of Eng
hand and the Transvaal led to the Boer
war Now waving his arms and shout
ing and now with . hushed and break
ing voice that seemed to mourn tho
graves of heroes dead. Sulzer spoke for
half an hour and retired In . blaze OF
glory. After which the House promptly
voted against him.
Outside tho New York constituents
met him.
well. how was IT," asked sulzsr.
"Greatv' exclaimed the constituents.
80 long" said sulzer. shaking hands;
drop in when you're down this way
again
The evening world., 1913-01-04

hired an attorney named Col, Kowalsky
The Colonel was great character
In San Francisco. He had "a line ~
talk that ran as smoothly as light
running sewing machine. And he loved
10 talk, They used to say that he
talked himself to sleep, But that wasn't
so. The Colonel had the sleeping sick
ness Why. I've been talking To him
myself when he'd fall fast asleep.
We'll. Kowalsky did lot OF taking
In tho newspapers about wyatt carp,
Other people we're talking about the ref
The evening world., 1913-01-04
Sam Bernard Believes New York Likes
A Catch Word on the Tip of Its Tongue
Don't Look for One in the
Dictionary, but the Mo-
ment II Comes From,
Under Cover Grab It
IT'S Formidable!
BY CHARLES DARNTON.

A Nd now It comes out-per.
IN m, i. .:Ss L., :, ... ,...
{nard % the last word in the English
Language that 10 knows 20 we'll and
Buses so little. Like his new motto.
$"Dont leave It undone. but keep It
unknown" It 10 the latest thing out.
$"Permissible" 10 to "All the Ladies'"
$what "shush" was to "Thc Rich MIR.
Hoggenheimer," what "suhiciency"
twas to THE Girl From Kay's." and
twhat "Is 1t possible!" was to THE
$Rollicking Girl"
"A good catch-word 10 as good a.
or thirty pages Of dialogue"
declared the verbal delicateasen dealer.
$speakins from experience But IL has
Ito be In the right place. A word IL q
Dummy thing. only TO make Il funny you
2must give It every advantage. And Us
2hard to dnd. There's no use looking for
81 In the dictionary. You must wait
$untii II shows itself outside and then
$grab Il. All the words In the dictionary
$ars 40 serious a. shakesperian actors.
$but once they come from under cover
$their whole nature 10 apt to change.
$Keep your ear open and YOU may catch
"a word that 10 good for . laugh at both
Safternoon and evening performances. I
Railways write my own word--sometlmss
2more more than one. I'm co-author Of
4weii. several pieces. Don't hurt my
$fserinss BY mentioning the one In which
Il Was nearly . hero. but I do not
$biush 70 say that ! am one Of our
$buMest little so-authors. Now you know
STR
3 Do yoa happen 70 know that sam Bsr.
$nard Is also our busiest box.office actorf
$is first evening performance at the
4Lyric Theatre begins At 7.I and ends
$at sos. when he PUSHES OF to his Dress
$ing room to make up" for his second
$performance. It delights his practical
$souI TO sell tickets. He brings to this
voluntary part OF his work wonderful
$enthusiasm and . true feeling for the
$two-dollar bill. Lurins one from Q very
xpart!culAr woman last night no crowded
The evening world., 1913-01-04

little bar In q back room. with q re
lunch 20 encourage trade. Hut business
was pretty bad. To make II seem worse
Pete planned . little surprise one Night.
lie brought around threc or four friends
and made us promise that We would eas
everything In sight and not buy drina.
IT anything could give . man . thirst
Il was that iunch--rys bread. potchssss.
sailed radishes-oo! But we ate every
bit Of II while Pete told funny stories.
Everybody but schults laughed. The
only time he frightened up was when
one of the party offered to buy cigars.
This was Dailey's cue to say. Never
mind. rye got enouxh cigarettes for oil
OF u.s.
schultz looked at him with murder In
his eye. but nothing happened until After
IL o'clock when. some one knocked on
the door. which had been locked. Don't
let him In. advised DALEY. It would be
against the law But Bchults's blood
was up. Grabbing q msiist. no jumped
hearty greeting. You come chust at
the right time! commence somsthias"
Daley leaped to the rescue. took the
STRANGER IN. and then bought everything
In the place. Good old Pete! Even
schults. who hated the world. loved
him.
without knowing It. Schults. whose
dialect was worth going miles 10 hear.
gave mo Q lot Of funny stun that I
have used. picked up many . word
at his place. But you never know what
. uord mr. m nhrnsa Il ~nrth s,r,til VAN
The evening world., 1913-01-04

phere. kowslsky had one OF his at.
tacks' carp looked at him with eyes
aud mouth Wide open. lie looked at
his gun and bent over the lawyer to
make sure the evidence Of his ears and
eyes Yes, he was asleep all right carp
slowly put the gun hack into his pocket.
lie reverently removed his sombrcro and
tptoed out Of the room, closing the door
after him without the slightest noise.
Thea he ran all the way homs ana told
his Nlie that he had iIst met the
brsvest man he had ever seen In his
lifA"
The evening world., 1913-01-04

up the broad stairs to the first floor.
carp took a drink and then walked up,
kunnel, said the gunman IN his
soft. purring voice. You have been do.
Ing coHsIderab talking about ne and
some one has got to die because my
reputation 10 at stake. And. Kunnel,
I've decided that Il might as wei he
you
And the gunmsn numbered forty.
Ave ana covered the attorney. kovslsky
never said word. When wyatt stopped
speaking there was 4 death-liHe silence,
then a. awful snors sinots the atmos-
The evening world., 1913-01-04

eree's action too, The talk was just
buzzlns about his head Ike on army OF
hornets. Ana the Altoona gIn-hghter
thought 1t was up To him to take a
hand In the controversy
Some ones got IN get killed vas
the way he thought II out SOW, ~no
draws The price
He concluded that the most undo
s.rable OF his verbal assailants vas col.
howalsky Tile tO'onel's doom was
sealed. kowslssy used 20 have a suite
Of rooms IN the old BALDWIN Hotel on
the nyst noor. Il was . short spr.nt
The evening world., 1913-01-04

and every Sunday they have . concert.
Gene johnson used to be . bandmastsr.
lie plays the trombone. cornst and the
violin. I. don't mean all at once. lie
plays At sight and he can read notes
lie can read them At thirty. sixty and
ninety days. Every Sunday ne has .
band at tho club and the members have
the time Of their lives It's . great
place. I invite you to spend . month
with us; make Il three months. No!
Well. goodnight"
And as the door OF the club Changed
after The Evening World man the
strains OF songs were waited out on the
air. The members OF the Alimony Club
were singing the chorus Of II Wonder
who's Kissing Her Now7"
The evening world., 1913-01-04

ling and the feathers polished 30 bright
you car see your face IN them.
We have received over twelva hun
dred letters from chickens in and
around New YORK asking particulars
about this ball, These letters come
from North. East. South and West. and
therefore we are sure of having all
localities represented. So great has
been the interest manifested that we
have determined to award prizes In the
most unique contest ever held in this
big village.
PRIZES FOR CHICKENS.
The Yrettisst Chicken is going to get
The evening world., 1913-01-04
New York's "Chickens" Had Their Dance
And Here's the "Cluck! Clucll' They Answered

VERY regular fellow will be at
r. this monster celebration because
- he will want TO see the la, 1t
style In chickens. and believe us. they'll
all will be there, with the bells tink- |
The evening world., 1913-01-04

r OF WEBER and Lew Fields we're
riding uptown in u taxIcab a few
- afternoons ago 10 attend a we'd
ding. The chauffeur was a large, mil
tant M!lesian with a square face.
Joe and Lew, not familiar with the
aspect ot New York In the daytime,
were interested In the buildings along
Central Park West, and asked the HI
bernlsn chauffeur many question
Finally the chauffeur remarked
DO yez think this 10 wan OF thin
rubberneck wagons? How do yez think
III be answer!n' your fool questions
and kape from runnin into a throlley
cA-As or eomsthin'r'
The evening world., 1913-01-04
H-HIs Luther Mccarty must be |
some fighter" said Tom
Sharkey.

II wonder II Tom ever recalls his fight
In san Francisco with Bob Fitzsim-
mons" said an old-time sporting man
as the door OF Sharkey's alcoholic palace
closed upon him and his friend. You
know Tom was awarded the nght on a
foul and there was considerable scan
Dial over the decision The referee was
Wyatt carp, the Arizona Eun-nghter.
II was said OF him that he had two
Ssts On when he refereed the aShI
The evening world., 1913-01-04
"NeV Y0rk's Most EXCLUSIVE Club? Why, You Need
Adavits to Join the .AAn1ony' Theodore Roberts

INV I'LL YOU step into the bar
w room? The privileges Of the
w Alimonx l'luh Arc yniIrs
The Grangeville globe. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho) 1907-1922, 1913-08-14
U. 8. SURVEYORS GET BUSY

Albert Smith, Jr., at the head OF
q u. S. survey party came into Nc
Cali the last of the week, bringing
their outfit prepared for survey OF
the Thunder Mountain and Florence
sections of the public domain. Lacey
r. Whitten of Boise is Mr.. Smiths
assistant. The members of the party
are Roy d. Armstrong transitman
Louie Jessop assistant to Mr.. Arm
strong. Geo. Finley, chef-and by the
way, Mr.. Finley Is one of the "old
time" contractors-F1oyd Newland
Jas. Hawley. Jr., Don Eagleson. How
ard Rankin, Frank King, Wilbur
Brunes, with L. C. (Tude) stonebrak
er as "packadero" and master Of
transportation.
They 60 to township IS, N. r. w
for d. A. Utter and Frank Spoeford
and expect to put in about one month
there and from there they go to TIP
"a, N. r. Tw. and to "a R. 3.
They made quite show with thedi
splendid mules, horses and complete
outfit and equipped as they are, back
ed by splendid physical strength and
"grey matter" the government may
look for first class work.-Payette
Lake Progress.
The Grangeville globe. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho) 1907-1922, 1913-08-14
A MOVEMENT IN SCALPS.
Ono of Them, Though, For Good Rea-
son, Was Firmly Fixed.

Ono of Them, Though, For Good Rea-
son, Was Firmly Fixed.
One day when Professor Powell was
hearing the class Gin anatomy he was
describing the manner in which the
various muscles of the scalp perform
their several functions. says ex-Goyer-
nor Theodore T. Geer, reminiscent of
his schooldays in Fifty Years In Ore
gon." To make the subject clearer the
professor told the members of the class
to move their scalps by aid of the. mus
Giles without moving the head and pro-
ceeded to lead the way by giving per-
sonal demonstration.
He had shaggy head of hair and
could turn his scalp almost halfway
round his head. The success that at
tended his maiden effert was so aston
ishingly complete that 1t brought forth
roar, of laughter. in which the pro-
fessor heartily Joined, although his
mouth was where his right eye usually
was and his ears were under his chin.
When order was finally restored each
member of the. class tried 1t, with vary
ing degress of success But Tom NIX
Inns effort was n hopeless failure, al.
though his superhuman attempts tc
move his scalp were as laughable az
Professor Powell's grotesque success
had been Finally, after the poor fel
low had made all the oblique grimaces
the class could endure, the professor
said:
Thomas, what is the matter with
your head?"
II doa't know. SIR" replied Bem. 'un
less l am the only one In the room
whose head is so full OF brains thai
they crowd his scalp"
The Grangeville globe. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho) 1907-1922, 1913-08-14
LABOR DAY PROCLAMATION

In accordance with established Gus
tom, have the honor to invite pub
lie attention to the fact that under
the laws of our state the first Mon
day in September has been designat-
ed and set apart as a public holiday
to be known as labor day.
This is a day in whose fitting OBJ
servance and celebration all our citi-
gems, without regard to class or walk
In life, should heartily join. All our
progress and prosperity, all our
growth and development depend pri-
marily upon labor, and 1t is a duty.
as 1t should be a pleasure. for us all
to pay tribute to the dignity of hon
est toll. 1t is, therefore, my earnest
request that on Monday, the first day
of September, 1918. all work and bust
ness shall, SO far as possible, be laid
aside and the day be given unreserv'
edly to the purpose for which 1t has
been set apart by law.
In testimony whereof, l have here
unto set my hand and caused the
great seal of the state to be affixed
hereto. Done at the capitol in Boise
Idaho, this sixth day of August, A
d. 1918.
JOHN M. HAINES,
Governor
BY the Governor-Attest:
WILFRED L. CLIFFORD,
Secretary of State.