New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Old lady looking contentedly out of window in
railroad train. Interest OF passengers excited by
ringing Of what sounds like an electric bell Qua
lady calmly opens up grip and shuts OFF an alarm
clock which had begun to ring. Takes bottle OF
medicine from pocket and drinks spoonful. Read
juss clock closes grip and again looks out Of win
dow remarking casually TO her neighbor: Best
little reminder that l know Of have to take my
medicine every two hours. SO l carry that alarm
clock with me, the alarm set so that II VIII ring
when medicine time comes around"
"Ah" sighed the boarder who was given TO rhap
sodies as they sat down To the Christmas dinner,
III We could only have one Of those turkeys that we
used to raise on the farm when was boy! on,
ven" said the possimistic boarder perhaps II is
one You never can tell'-Ladies Home Journal
AMBITION.
It is said that in life the most exquisite rapture
Lies not in succeeding but striving TO capture;
No doubt this is true but though 1t seem strange
I'd like to try getting there just for a change
W. b. \.
THEY ,cll me that 1t is Imagination that keeps the
doctors busy" said The patient
4 guess that's right replied the physician m
kept pretty busy making out bills which ioolshN
imagine are going to be paid some uas' i'""'''
Statesman.
There is clergyman uptown. noted for his in
tercst in civic aTairs pulpit manner is rather
Young mother took her small son. aged four. for
his first participation IN public worship. He was
quiet and Interested through the singing, prayers
and responses but with the hrst words OF the ser
mon began 10 show symptoms Of uneasiness. AS the
preacher passed from arraignment TO denunciation
the child glanced at his mother to see how all this
was affecting her. and finally, as the climax seemed
to be approaching, De pated her hand cncouragingy
and said Never mind. mother. We can 90 home II
he gets too fresh"
Il have noticed that old bachelors are generally
egotistical ! wonder why ii is''
The Reason is that when man geis married ne
can generally be sure OF having somebody around
who IS willing to tell him the truth about himself
Chicago Recofd-iicIa!d
In a barber shop recently, Leach Cross. the boxer
was accosted by a man who offered for sale a hand
some. diamond ring. Cross agreed 10 buy IT, but
told the man he then out Of cash and said he'd
be in the barber shop the next day with the money
cross didn't show up for three days having for
gotten the arrangement When he did appear he
found the man waiting. The latter's face burned
with indignation and he jumped up angrily telling
Cross he mad lost three prospective purchasers wait
ing for Leach to come around. Cross apoogized but
the man. his anger increasing, refused to listen TO
him and sprang at Leach with several vicious
lunges. Cross stood it long as he thought neces-
sary and then permitted his right hand to wander
over 10 the other person : Jaw. Ddihh'Ss 'hSueu
when the mans interest in mundane affairs re-
turned the barber exclaimed
"Doncha know who dat was? Doncha know dat
was Leach Cross. der lace puncher?'
oil" cried the victim trying to slip his jaw back
"Now its fine time to tell me that"
The Brahma: Say, amt YOU OVERRIDING this bust
ness a little? Here you keep right on laying a. If
your life depended Ola it. can't YOU take rest?
The Plymouth Rock cOquetushly: l guess YOU
never had a man smile you the way my boss