The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1913-11-28
UNCLE JERRY
RETURNS
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

| or Spoonersyille.
Uncle Jerry married placid girl. 1t
was not known that they ever differed
in their opinions.
Just after being married Uncle Jerry
began buying butter and eggs and ship
ping them to the city market. He
made bargain with commission
house that he was to get a certain
price the year round. He therefore
never had to worry about the state of
the market. He shipped just so many
eggs and Just so much butter.
Uncle Jerry was subscriber to and
a reader Of the Christian Brother.
His grandfather had taken 1t, and his
father had taken it, and he did not
want to hurt the feelings Of the editor
by dropping 1t.
The Christian BrothH had no cur.
rent news. 1t seldom Yeferred to the
| doings of bad men. 1t never printed a
line about gold bricks or green goods
or other confidence games. Uncle Jerry
sometimes heard drummers and light
hing rod men talking about such
| things. but he paid little attention.
They said of him the day he was fifty
years old:
"Why. he knows no more Of the
world than a baby! If slick man
| should come along he could beat Uncle
Jerry out Of his shlrtr'
And just the next day the entire vii
Io sptn tota ~
sternation. In the midst of his placid
life and never having jOurneyed above
thirty miles from his front gate the
good man suddenly announced:
Say. now. by gol. If l amt going to
the city,
"Why-why"-
Eyes. sir. am. I'm going up there
to look around and see the sights"
His wife placidly corroborated this
announcement and did not betray any
symptoms of Mysteries. and then a rush
was made for the house Of the min
lister whose church Uncle Jerry at
tended.
"Uncle Jerry is going to the city I'm
less we can stop him" was exclaimed
HE probably has some business
there" replied the good man.
"No. he hasn't. He says he's just 60
ing to see the sights"
"Well?"
bed Of his all and maybe murdered be-
fore he has been there day! Don't
you know how green and innocent he
is? Why. boy five years old could
gum game him!'
The minister had q talk with Uncle
Jerry. but it did not move the inno-
cent When he took the stage to ride
seven miles to the railroad 300 people
assembled to see him Off. and not one
Of them but was anxious and worried.
Nothing happened to Uncle Jerry dur
ing the seven mile ride.
He had reached hotel and eaten
dinner and was standing at the door
looking at the crowds when a pedes-
trian walked up to him with hand out
and exclaimed:
"Why, bless me. IL this amt Uncle
Jerry Spooner!'
"She be. sir. and right from Spoon
ersville today" was the reply as they
shook.
''You remember nee. don't your"
81 do. You are Steve Taylor's broth.
er. our dry goods man."
81 am glad you remember me. have
lost my wallet and want the loan Of
$40. I will let you keep this watch
and chain as security till l see you
again."
That's all right. and here's your ten
You are certainly an honest man."
The fellow went away chuckling.
and another guest Of the hotel who
had been watching things stepped mp
to Uncle Jerry and said:
"Old man. you have been bunkoed!"
81 guess not"
"What did you let him have for that
watch. which isn't worth over $3?"
"Why. let him have a counterfeit
ten dollar bill. Of course! 1t was one I'd
been carrying around for 'leven years"
"Say. you don't need no GUARDIAN
was the comment Of the man as he
fell back.
Two hours later. as Uncle Jerry wan
dered the streets. man damned his
hat down over his ears and eyes and
grabbed his watch. 1t was the three
dollar watch. The victim grabbed for
the thief and tore his neckscarf away
in the vain effort to hold him. When
his hat had been pushed up police
man was at his elbow to ask:
did he touch you for your watch ?"
IF you call 1t touching he certainly
got the watch"
"a hayseed like you ought to hire
some one 10 walk out with you"
"Oh. I'm not complaining any! I got
his necktie. and there seems to be a
diamond in it.'
Seems shouted the officer after
inspecting the pin. why. If 1t isn't
500 diamond then I'm goaty'
"a hundred dollars. eh? Well. that
amt so bad for a three dollar watch"
Uncle Jerry was roped into bucket
shop. but instead Of losing 500 he made
SO
They coaxed him into playing the
races. and he made $40 in betting on
the poorest horse.
Uncle Jerry returned home after
week. to the great relief and enthusi