New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-27
AS | WAS SAYING

Last night We strocd among the ruins OF Arrna-
reddon Suddenly our guide halted. put finger 10
his lips and said: "S-s-s-sh! Listen
We seated ourself upon a broken plliar. Su"'h"s
cur ears. heard voice soliloquHing: Every uos
has his day. tho nights belong To the cats nope
they like en-. My policies would have made hiram
mere innocuous Vice President but the wicked
thought otherwise.
rho ton NJ tho morning TO that drocst ~ stay /
homo Rritons. Mr. w. l.. George Judging by his
scintillatons In "Everybodys" as to What America
Nust Be Like" no seems almost az well Informed
as the I,ondoner who remarked TO us NOW MY
dear sir hope YOU will not take umbrase al what
am about TO say but consider TO the victors be-
long the spos the very worst article In your CON
sttution.'
True Mr.. Wilson began his visits to the Capitol
with a speech from the throne and returned little
later as a lobbyist. but the willy VIII not dra" IN
fcrcnces.
We had long seen il conng-the ancient sristoc-
racv Of Arizona, tho peerage OF Peoria tho f1rst
Families Of Nevada. When the West jecred our IN
soent gee In recalling that our orofathers traveed
bv the Mavfower and the Half Moon. not TO men
ton the Santa Maria and the Ark We Uttered In our
sleeve whoa We cried. Before YOU know IL
ferociously demanding ancestors OF your own
This Is lust what is happening. Already there are
Wostorners who shout: Hi you! Hold on Till we
tell YOU about our forefahers. Came by the hrst
train other Westerners retort: "Did did they Z
Iyou ours came by the first prairie schooner! sun
others too secure their positions to brag observe
ouiotlv: "As for birth and rank and all mat We
dosniso IT, though the founder Of our iine came ny
tho first pushcart," Which Is funny now. After a
f,, t.oti nd l.
dcrsome
Oro swallow doesn't make drummer. But swa-
lows are Increasing despite Mr.. Bryan and the
" G. T L. and there is guessing where the
nation will wind up. con the road, maybe
Meanwhile swallows becoming curiously
scarce in England. Statistics for the last fifteen
voars show falling drink bill there, as against the
rierp drink bin here. Sorry! For the effects upon
temperament, both sides the sea- "ie u'e' o
couragement to reformers
uif,een wears ago we were a sober people, given
only 70 Imperialism and carnage Look at us now'
Always on the verge Of the Denman Thompsons. we
have become so downright devsh that when Mex
leo opens fire on us fly into a passion immedi-
atclv and say Tut. TUT.
Fifteen wears ago the English were drunken and
delirious often reading "The London Times In
broad daylight under the trees in HYDE farK Ihey
i,d 81 fee-ugh-ful me- My WoIu' h"' o'7'' '' Nv"
eobrie,v has Gained them. The entire populace is
oincbinp Itself to make sure that 1t is still alive
With good reason, too!
There is later news from the genius who supplied
the telephone with a graphophonic attachment. ne
is now experimenting with a trained parrot ne re-
moves the receiver and seats the parrot on the eVe
witch is held down by the birds weight When the
hell rings It frightens the parrot. Away ne lies
This makes the connection. Then the oird RECEIVERS
his composure and says: Back at II O'CLOCK. Back
at If o'cockw-precisely as instructed
We hesitate to pick flaws in such triumph OF IN
eenutv and we hate to deprive parrots OF an honest
livelihood but It has been our observation that
those creatures are singularly absent minded Also
that they never wholly shake off the habits acquired
on shipboard Like not your parrot VIII rorget
all about Back at II o'clock ana can your most
lenient creditor a regular-you know what
r. l.. II.