Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1913-09-25
The Home Circle
Thoughts from the Editorial Pen
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Matilda Simpkins is fat. She is
not plump, or stoutly built. She is
not one of those that the fashion
magazines, after devoting pages and
pages to fortunate slim ones, finally
placate by one little page of styles
for Stout Figures"
Matilda does not deceive herself,
nor does she encourage her friends
to deceive her in regard to what is
called, in polite circles, embonpoint,
but which, by way of greater conven-
fence and fluency of speech, is more
often designated as just plain FAT.
Nor is Matilda one of those wom-
en- who can honestly tell you, look
ing you in the eye the while, that
when she was married she weighed
under 100 pounds, and that her waist
could be spanned by two hands
providing they were sizable hands. of
course.
Matilda has no such beautiful,
slender, sylph-like past with which
to regale herself, on days that hel
fat seems to be particularly trying
and unbecoming and obvious and in
trusive. AS child Matilda was fat,
as young girl she was fatter, and
as a woman who no longer arises
with the lark to rejoice over the
birth of new day, Matilda is super
latively fattest.
Now there are people in the world
who regard a fat person much as
they would regard an elephant or
rhinocerous or hippopotamus or
any other thick-skinned animal.
They lay to themselves the flatter-
ing JUNCTION that the slim woman has
a corner on temperament, and high
strung emotion and sensitiveness, and
fine sensibilities, and rare, exquisite
sentiment.
They think that they have these
feelings copyrighted, and they would
laugh at the idea that the Matildas
of the world were as fine-grained
and delicate in soul as they.
There are days when Matilda keen
ly suffers because she is fat. There
is not day, in fact, that she enjoys
the sensation. When she passes
along the street, she often hears peo-
pie snicker. Such remarks as How
would you like to be as fat as that
woman?" are of frequent occurrence,
and the people who make them seem
to go on the theory that fat people
are also deaf, or that, even IL they
are not. they are used to it, and do
not mind.
Could you ever get used to any
physical popularity that causes Ill
bred people to turn and stare after
You, and openly comment upon it?
Matilda is not used to her fat, as
long as it has possessed her, and she
never will be used to it. But be-
cause it is expected of her, she smiles
and appears pleased when tactless
persons exclaim, You're getting fat
ter all the time, Matilda. You ought
to Diet
There are two reasons why Matilda
cannot point to her slenderness at
the time of her marriage, as many fat
women do. One is, that she never
was slender, and the other is that
she never was married.
She could have married-once. He
was poor little white rabbit of a
man, scared to death most of the
time. He didn't know what he was
afraid of. Rather, he didn't know
what he was not afraid of. He was
afraid of a draught, and was addict
ed to galoshes and red flannel; he
was afraid of germs, and wore a
charm-or maybe 1t was a disinfect-
anton a string around his neck;
he was afraid of his boss, and afraid
that he would lose his job; he was
afraid of burglars, though he never
had anything burglable, and slept
with all his windows tightly closed
and bolted; he was afraid of his
stomach, and of what it might do to
him if it got good and mad, so he
fed it on bran and beef extract.
Finally, he was afraid to be alone.
Perhaps he had read protection in
Matilda's amplitude. However that
was, he summoned the courage to
propose to her.
Matilda was touched. She was
flattered, as is every woman when
man cares enough to offer to link
his life with her, regardless of the
quality of the man. But Matilda was
above all else, honest, as honest as
she was fat. More than that no one
could ask.
She knew, did Matilda, that she
was not cut out for Clinging Vine,
yet that fact did not alter her long
ing for the role. She had her
dreams, had Matilda, as we'll as any
@ Low Naas1 Il