El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-08-30

VI E had dined with the Berkeley
wv Smiths and I could see at a
glance as we went home that
something had gone wrong
Yet so far as the eye of
man could judge my wife was bet
! ter dressed and better looking than
Mrs Berkley-Smith. The dinner had
been nothing out of the way, their sill
yer was but ordinary. they only had
three servants eve beat them by
scullery maid). and our front garden
/ was at least two strides longer. I ad-
init that Mrs. Berkley-Smith's complex
/ ion was a much more expensive one to
| keep up than ny wifes So to CHECK
any Unnecessary and expensive resort
! to beauty doctors. I diplomaticaIly re-
marked "AwfulIy made up. wasn't
she?''
oh, it was painful" said my wife
did not like the sigh. I knew
there was something coming.
Did you see those old family por-
traits OF admiral Berkeley and his wffe?'
Spoit the dining ROOM" I replied
promptly.
7 do wish we had some ancestral
portraits" said my wife sadly.
I'm sorry my ancestors were so
there's photograph of a great aunt
OF mine IN crinOline which would
look supurb if enlarged"
she rubbed that admiral into me till
1 could have boxed her ears" contin-
ued my wife, ignoring my suggestion,
and they are coming to dinner with
US in a fortnight"
My dear" I said, u can't call back
my ancestors from another. and q
hope) a better world to have them
painted for the humiliation of Mrs.
Berkley-Smith.
But we could buy some portraits,
surely. Who would know"
L put the matter aside but for some
days my wife walked the house with a
our pictures and sigh, and I knew that
sooner or later ancestral portraits
would have to come.
One day it commenced to rain heav-
lily Just as / was outside an antique
shop. l diVed in, intending to use the
shop as an umbrella.
hat can I hat the pleazure of
showing your said an elderly man
with a fine Teutonic accent.
I remembered at once. Got any old /
pOrtraits?" I asked
This way, sir, If you will hat the ]
showed me a score of portraits. I
Something cheap said sternly.
'There-the cheapest line hat" said 3
the dealer.
=
ia Reynolds-the frames alone worth /
the money.
L looked at the pictures approvingly
one was a plump bishop with a huge {
wig on his head and a volume of ser
mons under his arm. In the distance
figure which represented either inf
deity or delirium tremens was shrink
ing away-ObviOusly from the sermons.
The other was a plump woman Of fe- !
rocious aspect. I thought that the
bishop would suit my wife, who is d (
great church worker.
Give you S150."I said half jokingly.
Done, said the dealer, with won
derful alacrity.
He took my check without demur
Evidently ne thought that a man fool
enough to buy the portraits could not
be rogue enough to work off a bogus
check on him. I took the pictures home
in taxi, and said to my wife. ALLOW
me to introduce you to your great
grandfather and great grandmother. |
They are yours mind, not mine. TN
repudiate them as my ancestors"
The melancholy passed away. In an !
Incredibly short time my wife would Z
relate anecdotes about her great grand
father.
And then the Berkley-smiths came
10 dinner.
Mrs. BerkIey-Smith admired the pic I
lures at once and said she would have 1
known them anywhere as my wife's re
atiOns There was a something about I
he bishops nose. This was little |
,ruel, as the Episcopal nose being red !
and a trifle Dubious was not the bish- :
Ups strong point. Still, my wife
eemed satisfied, and explained that fl
he poor bishop had lived little longer I
lie would certainly have been an arch
bishop.
However. Berkeley Smiths seemed to
he in highly jovial spirits all through 7
Inner We were scarcely alone TO 7
mOke when he turned to the bishop 7
md said. "OId man, what did that ras- +
al Myers charge you for him?' i
MY dear fellow" protested those :
portraits have been in my wifes family
so years" ?
opposite that old cock at dinner till !
-ot sick Of the sight of him and banged !
n orange at him. You can see the 3
ent it made just below his sermons.
low. as a pal. what did Myers charge
GU for the pair? ,
aTbe old thief-he charged me $500 p
nd only allowed me $50 when I u
wapped them for the admiral and his C
life I couldn't stick the bishop in our r
ouse anv longer So when we moved Q
D CrisklewOOd we made fresh start 7
18th the navy Z.
'sTiT your wife taIk?" I said in a
sTaik-Tm a sport. I'll tell her you b
now about the admiral-that will stop
er tongue. Fl
So the bishop still looks benevoIently Il
own on me when 1 dine But I do I =
ism that when 1 want to go gOlfing | =
b Sunday my wife would not look sor !.
lwfully up at the bishop and shake | y
ar head. As free American l can n
ot allow my wife's great grandfather =
y adoption to interfere with my o.
Ibits. ------.----~- e