davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
ii Years Ago day
From The Herald This Date 1880.

A boy has been born to Mr.. and Mrs.
+. c. Faddis.
DR.. S. s. Spicer is visiting his sister.
Mrs. S. O. Lesser.
Dr.. / F. Bush left this morning for
Dayton, Ohio, with a patient
Britton Davis is having his former
residence on Magoffin taken down.
Professor E. o. Wooten. of the Agri-
cultural college at Mesilla, is a visitor
III the city.
r. Y. Anderson, manager of the Tor
pedO and other mines, came down from
Las Cruces today
The Progress club is fitting up rooms
in the Center block for occupancy about
the first of this year.
H r Bennett, leader of the Man
dOlin club at the Agricultural college,
is spending the day in the city.
The local Bell telephone company has
found it necessary to put in two addi-
tiOnal cables owing to an increase OF
business. James Alberts is here from
San Antonio experimenting the work.
The two new cables are on Oregon and
San Antonio streets.
The local branch of the W. c. T. U,
lately organized, is growing rapidly
and now has about 80 active members
The officers Include Mrs Merrllls as
president; Mrs. Stevenson, secretary;
Mrs. AthertOn, recording secretary; and
Mrs. Brack, treasurer.
FL Paso will probably witness
basketball game on December p, be-
tween the local girls team and one
from Albuquerque. The home team,
which is composed of Misses Mundy.
Catlan. Kneeland, Lindauer, and the
two Misses Wilcox. made trip to Al
buquerque, two weeks ago
Objections have been written to DR..
Horsley by residents of the immediate
ReighbOrhood in which he intends to
erect a sanitarium. The people who
object are: Judge Wilcox, Leigh Clark,
DR.. Wilkinson, Mr.. Edwards, conductor
Russell and Richard Caples.
Mrs. George L. Pickett whose late
husband, Gen. Gettysburg Pickett
was one of the most magnificent fig
ures of the civil war, is in FL Paso
with her son. Major George Pickett,
Z S A They are guests of Mr.. and
Mrs. H. D. Slater at the residence Of
Dr. Brown on MagOffin avenue.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17

6CVT on SEE. it's this way" ex-
planned the tail woman who
had rung Mrs. Pegasus
Snimpfs doorbeu- IF every woman in
the city signs this pledge declaring
that she wants to vote
But" interrupted Mrs. Snimpf, I've
got a vote"
What exclaimed the tail woman
You don't mean to say you dlsgu13e
yourself as a man on election day.
Not at all" assured Mrs Sn1mpt-
Then would you mind signing this
paper. I promise you that II you sign
this paper you'll have vote within a,
But" persisted Mrs. snimpf. @rvel
Il don't understand" said the jail
woman cOldly.
well, wait here for a few minutes
and you'll understand. Here he is
now"
Mr. Pegasus Snimpf, measuring five
feet two inches in both stocking feet
was ascending the front steps.
sFPeggie" said his wife steruly.
You're two minutes latet Go in and
help cook with the supper.
"Yes'm." said Pegasus Snimpf meek
" and disappeared in the house
you see, I've got a vote, said Mrs.
Snimpf.
woman admiringly. 'Well, III try next
door"
uIar features of The Fl PasO Herald.)
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
COURT DISMISSES SUIT
BROUGHT BY TELEPHONE co

Denver, Colo, Dec. 1.-THE United
States district court has dismissed for
lack of jurisdiction the suit brought by
the Mountain States Telephone and Tele-
graph company to prevent the enforce
ment of the sOcalled Brown ordinance,
reducing telephone rates in Denver.
The action was taken on motion of the
city. The corporation had sought an IN
junction, in the meantime retaining its
old rates.
courts, looking to the enforcement of the
ordinance, and it is expected that one or
all of these now will be brought to trial.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
(Chicago NeWs.)
E= Lone

(ChicagO NeWs.)
It takes hardships long time 10
sail out of sight.
When wise man cOnverses he says
as little as possible
IT'S easier for a man to deceive him
self than it is to fool his nelghbors-
One way to demonstrate the unceI
4siD4v Of q sure thing is TO bet on it.
And sometimes the wife Of self
made man wishes he had used better
raw material
It's surprising how well the aver
slider how worthless he is.
A man seldom has any money be
fore he gets married he spends It;
after marriage his wife spends it.
Perhaps it is his sense OF nulnor
that prevents many {. man from taking
himself as seriously as he wants other
people to.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17

or hat 1t gives a bad impression to
strangers coming into our city. We
have become rather calloused to it from
acquaintance with the ubiquitous Jua-
rez beggar."
X
Il quite agree with the article in The
Herald the other day about the dam
age done by the blasting on Mount
Franklin" said Ben Cowan. up in the
Golden Hill district almost every house
has cracked walls from the vibrations
of the blasts. These cracks are not
only in the plaster of the rooms, but
actually in the walls of the houses and
can be seen plainly from the outside.
The blasts are really a public nuisance
and should be done away with"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17

q SLOT machine is an automatic
~ clerk, who works for nothing a
= week and twice union hours at
that.
The slot machine can be taught a great
many interesting tricks, such as telling
the weight of g total stranger and de-
tecting a counterfeit dime without biting
it. But it is not very intelligent. This
is whv the slot machine Is so popular
1t cannot tell the customer that Tuttl
Fruit chewing gum has gone out alto
gether and that all the people who are
at all fashionable are buying the new
Wiggleiaw brand. The slot machine IS
so stupid that it has to sell its customer
exactly what he wants. In consequence
it is greatly beloved and Is multiplying
with astonishing rapiditY.
The slot machine Is now found wher-
ever civilization is rampant, and 1t leads
a bus and useful life selling gum, pea
nuts, candy, ham sandwiches, popular
airs, drinking cups, gas, matches, sOUye-
mir cards and telephone calls. 1t also
takes photographs, tells fortunes and
enables the CAV and YenturesOme young
gambler to spend happy evenings feed
ing hard-earned quarters into a small
slit IN the face of an innocent looking
and close mOuthed machine.
The slot machine Is a valuable inven-
ton, but like nearly everything else it
ought to be regulated If the slot ma
chimes were taken out of the cigar stores
and put in the postoffices where the
American people wait each year millions
of hours while tired clerks sell postage
stamps as if they were rare paintings,
much good would be done. If the gas
machine were to be perfected so that it
would accept a dollar and make change
instead of compelling the householder
to search frantically through the neigh
borhood for quarter when the light goes
out, the national output of profanity
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17

ing the deposit of a dime before the
wearer begins to talk. 1t would be in
spring to watch an idle friend sitting
dumb in the office of busy man while
waiting for the latter to deposit a dime.
Still one would tire of this sight after
a month or two and 90 away before the
dime was Observation-Disclosures by
George Matthew Adams.
(ArticIes by this noted writer are reg
uIar features of The Ell PasO HeFaId.)
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
One-Sentence Philosophy
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

NCnlcagO News
A poor man makes a good philan-
thrOpist-in his mind.
Occasionally a man is so lucky that
he gets just what he wants without
even wanting ii.
once in a great while you meet a
woman who thinks her husband really
appreciates her
Some married men would be only
too glad to settle down if their wives
would quit stirring them up.
If a man is in love with a woman
she can make him believe black is
white-until he discovers that she is
in love with him.
The packers shouldn't be discour-
aged even if one cant make a silk purse
of a sow's ear. They may eventually
be used for hat trimming.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
JAPAN LAUNCHES NEW
AND POWERFUL BATTLESHIP

Kobe, Japan, Dec. 1.-THE battle
cruiser Haruna, a sister ship of the
KOngO. which was built II England Tor
the japanese navy, was launched here
Sunday Japan viii build three super
dreadnaughts in 1914 in home doekyards,
The Haruna will be also equal to the
United States battleship Texas The
armament of the Haruna viii consist Of
eight II inch guns mounted IN four
barbettas. On the upper level deck on
both sides are mounted batteries of SIX
inch guns
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
PARCELs POsT WoRKERs

PARCELS POST WORKERS
GET BADLY ESTUCK UF'7
The clerks in the mailing division OF
the postoffice were terribly stuck up
Tuesday evening Somebody sent can
of maple syrup by parcels post and il
came open, splitting the syrup all over
everything.
one kneIt in the middle Of the floor
over a pail containing a mass of Sec
ond class mailing matter, completely
swamped in syrup, while he dug out
each package separately and carefully
figured out the address from the
sticky mess. Everybody seemed good
natured over it, however, though
rushed with the heavy holiday mails.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
SECOND CALI. ISSUED
For PENSION WAR; ANTS

Austin, Tex, Dec. 16.-The second
call for pension warrants was issued
today by state treasurer Edwards, en-
bracing all pension warrants issued
for the quarter ending Nov. 80 up to
No. 1900 This means that all Confed-
crate pensioners viii now be paid up
to that number. This leaves about 50Od
more to be paid, for which there are
not at present sufficient funds.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
Stranger Than Fiction


VIXEN and microbes I'LL the air The
eternity No wonder mortal squis;
full of
upon things which strive to make
Dlav our Ger things cannot
flocks
our hands useits die The
bulldog
ev
than all the and
fright of anything that's out
Copyright by Adans) WALL O'A0U1"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
Slot Machines
BY GEORGE FITCH.
Author of "At Good Old SIVvash."

would be decreased several percent. A
lot of telephone slot machines are de-
manding dimes, whereas they would
grow fat and prosperous on niekels. On
the other hand. automatic pianos should
have slots which would accept nothing
less than dollars.
In the course of time, science may
perfect a method of providing chronic
cOnversationalists with slots necessitat-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
QUAKER MEDITATIoNs.
philadelphia RecOrd)
hare IA cf-a hald head.

4 Dare IaCL-d DdIu Utau-
The bitterest words are those of his
own that a man is forced to eat.
The only kind of spilled milk worth
crying over is the milk of human
kindness.
Misery loves company; but a girl
isn't necessarily miserable just because
she does.
The man who takes things for
granted should see that he takes only
what belongs to him.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
JOURNAL ENTRIES.

ILOpehd JUL UaI-J
Reform, like charity. should begin
at home
All varieties Of live Holsters are
more ar less green
A hotel IS seldom any better or
worse than its guests pay for
Most Of the "best sellers" of a dozen
years ago have long since been for
gotten.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17
Mrs. SninspPs Vote
The Daily Novelette,.

'fOh, darling, you're my baby
He sang it with all his might
She said, Dear, here comes Papa,7
He quickly said, "GOOd Nightg
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-17

Missouri Yesterday does not differ So very greatly
town. houses belonging to different members OF the
sTith
The family to leave town
nd naturally nobody punished for the little expedition
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
HERE AT HOME.
LambertviIIe Citizens Gladly Testify and
onfldently Recommend Doan's
Kidney Pills.

1t is testimony like the following that
has passed Doan's Kidney Pills so far
above competitors. When people
right here at home raise their voice in
praise there is no room to doubt.
Read the public statement OF Lam
bertville citizen:
Mrs Eugene Kearns, of 46 Ferry St., Lam
bertyille. N. J says: MY kid ey trouble had
been of long standing and / have suffered
intensely from lame back and pain through
my loins and sides. l became so bad that in
the morning, heat was the only thing that
relieved me so that l could straighten OF all
the remedies tried ,Doans Kidney Pills alone
gave me relief and l endorse them as the
best preparation to use in cases OF my kind
This remedy acted on my system at once, re-
heying the pain and regulating the kidneys.
so that | could get my rest at night. My ex-
perience with kidney medicines has been
quite an extensive one and am in position
to say that Doan's Kidney Pills are the best,
For sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster -Milburn Co, Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

bit deep into the tree. A brisk north
west wind was blowing, and Abigail
had barely reached the heart of the
tree when hard gust came. There
was a splitting, cracking sound, and
she had scarcely reached place OF
safety before the mulberry tree crash.
ed down, breaking the fence In its fall.
As If suddenly impressed by the grav-
ity of the deed she had committed. abb
gail Hodson stood for several moments
as IL stunned. Then with frightened
glance around her she picked up her
skirts and scudded home again. No
guilty murderer could have cleaned the
telltale instrument more carefully than
did Abigail her Ratchet after the fall
of the tree.
Then she hastily changed her dress.
locked her house and ran down Green
lane. Five minutes afterward she en-
tered the circus tent. Yes. for the first
time in her life Abigail Hodson went
to a circus.
Hannah Payne saw her and nearly
tumbled off her narrow seat. She
crushed the bag of peanuts she had
been consuming into her pocket and
craned her neck to see where her erst-
while friend would sit. Abigail took a
seat directly opposite Hannah Payne.
All the people stared very hard when
Abigail came into the tent. because
they knew that her father and her
grandfather had disapproyed of cir
cuses, and when the Hodsons disap'
proved of anything their stubbornness
was quite as remarkable as that of the
Paynes.
Abigail Hodson broke all presidents
by entering the tent, and there was lit
tie doubt that her fellow church men,
bers would require an explanation. In
the meantime she must enjoy 1t II she
could, for never again would she have
the Inspiration, provocation. despera-
tion--call 1t what you will-sutficient to
sustain her during such a trying ordeal.
Such was her excitement concerning
the mulberry tree that she did not en-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

10y the circus at ALL Tne clowns APP
peared silly, the horses old and decrepit
compared to the graceful animals de-
plcted on the billboards; the lonely ele-
phant looked muddy and ancient be-
You'd all belief; the performing dogs
were foolishly self conceited. This was
Abigail's estimate OF her first circus.
When 1t was over she crowded for
ward to make her escape from friends
and acquaintances who might have
seen her there and asked embarrassing
questions. She was almost the first
one to leave the tent, and she sped
away down the street with feet that
barely touched the ground. She made
up her mind that Hannah would guess
who had committed the deed, and she.
Abigail, would not deny It She would
stoutly maintain that the tree was a
nuisance-a public nuisance-and IL
Hannah Payne wanted to begin suit
against her she could have the papers
served at any instant
BY this time Abigail had reached
Green lane and was toiling up Its
steep lucilut.~ Aueuu Vi htk III tAic
darkness she could see the darker bulk
of the fallen tree, and as she reached II
she hesitated. Behind her there came
hurried footsteps-those Of Hannah
but Abigail was rooted to the spot She
could not move an inch, no matter what
happened.
Hannah Payne's voice came in ad-
vance of her spare figure THAT you.
Abigail HodsonY' she queried sharply.
YES" she said DULY.
whats the matter? know some
thing awful has happened: II there
hadn't you wouldn't have been at the
cireusl What's the matterT painted
Hannah, approaching.
"You can get the sheriffw moaned
Abigail.
whats the matter? What's that?"
almost screamed Hannah Payne. point
ing TO the fallen tree.
Il cut down your mulberry tree You
better 80 get the sheriff." persisted
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

Drink is the cuf>t ot chile. "For
some time after our arrival" writes
Mrs. Hugh Fraser in Further Reminis.
cences," Hugh and | used to be puz.
zled at the prevalence of toothache il
the town (Santiagol Every day one
would see men in the streets. frock
coated and tophatted. their faces al
most hidden by handkerchief TIED
around their jaws-not one or two OF
occasionally. but half dozen at time
and on every day of the week, Later
we found out that 1t was a signal and
meant: 4 was drinking last night. Dc
not speak to me-"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
One Thousand Dollars Reward.

will pay One thousand Dollars
reward, cash, for the detection and
conviction of any person or persons
implicated in the burning of my home,
situated at Whitehouse Station, N. j.,
about P. M. on the fourteenth day of
November past. The Rev. H. l..
Jones, pastor of the Dutch Reformed
Church OF Whitehouse Station, who
was one of the first to enter said house,
advises me that he is positive same
was fired by use of naptha or some
other infammable material All others
who endeavoredlto save my home ad-
wise me practica ly the same.
JAMES N. PIDCOCK,
Pennington, N. ].
2-26|I2.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
Abigail family.

Abigail family.
Good Lord, Abby. l never was so
thankful for anything in all my born
daysl" calculated Hannah Payne. II
would have done 1t myself only the
Payne streak In me wouldn't give inl
Good radiance, say, even If the fence
is broke | was thinking I'd take II
Down, anyway, and the one between
our houses. It would make one nice
big yard and seem more friendly F"
Hannah was talking fast to hide her
embarrassment and delight.
II shall like that" half sobbed Abb
gail, and then she gently tainted away
ON Hannah Payne's strong shoulder
As Hannah Payne half led. half car.
ried the unconscious form of her friend
into the house she felt a return of the
old masterful feeling that had mark.
ed all their association In the past. Il
don't know what would become OF
you, Abigail Hodson, If / wasn't here
to look out for you.' she muttered
happily, and then her lips brushed the
cheek OF her restored friend.
Bringing Up a Dog.
A writer in Country Life In America
gives some advice on the bringing up
of dog. AS he tells it, the process
looks easy enough. The first and most
important lesson for pup to learn is
to stop anything he may be doing when
you say stop" and to continue when
you say "All right" II we'll learned
this will explain to him all future COM
mands. After this comes the lesson to
lie down when you command Down"
and to stay down while you leave him
For this latter it is best to tie him to
something and then II he does not drop
when you call Down" from a distance
return quickly and. scolding, push him
down forcibly. A caress and taste Of
food should be his reward II he does
right
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
SECURITY

If you have something of value that you desire
Absolutely Protected from loss then you require the
best protection available.
At large expense this bank has installed the most
Modern Burglar-Proof Fire-Pioof Deposit Vault
that can be found in this section of the County.
Always guarded by inside night Waterman. Pri-
vate booths to examine your securities.
The incidental expense is small, ask your
inspection.
Wills kept without charge.
We offer what we'll be termed Absolute Security
Three per cent. interest paid in savings Depart
ment and on Certificates from day received TO day
of withdrawal
Accounts solicited.
Surplus 100000
Lambertville National Bank
CALVIN SOLIDAY, President.
FRANK A. PHILLIPS, Vice President and Cashier.
W S. HULSHIZER, Asst. Cashier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
MAKING Room For All.

An Irish conductor on the Payne
avenue line was trying to make room
for more passengers in his car during
.he rush hour the other night As re-
ported by more or less truthful wit
ness, this Is what he said:
will thin In front place move up so
that thin behind en- take tn places ov
thin In front an lave room f'r thin
that's neither In front nor behind ?'-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
A Long Pedigree.

Sir william Lever. the we'll known
soap manufacturer. once remarked that
when he got his baronetcy. the college
of heralds had no difficulty about his
pedigree.
"All they had to do" he said. ''was
to take away the II In front OF my
name and the r. at the end. and there
1t wasl EveP-London Answers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
A Cure.

"Do you believe appendicitis can be
cured without an operatioaP'
My case was"
How'd you do itT"
"A friend who had suffered told me
what his operation cost him, and as
soon as he had finished all my symp-
toms had departed. Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
PLEASING Epiuram.

"Great talents are of no use with
out little sunshine of the mind
thus wrote Lady Shelley of her friend
Lord Brougham, who suffered from
chronic disgust of life-London
Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
Your Opportunity and Ours.

Ours is the only magazine covering exclu-
higher class narratives of adventure. travel
and achievement in the open: also hunting,
fishing and all sports. 1t Is superbly printed
and illustrated, We require the services of
QUE man in each county to handle subscrip-
ton agents. Generous Inducements to work
ers Write us NOW for sample copy and full
details Address OUTDOOR WOKLD PUB
LISHING CO., Box 1872. New York City.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
Shn1e Infn Ynnr Shnea

Aliens Foot-Ease the antseptic powder Ii
relieves tired, aching, swollen, sweating fee
and makes walking easy Takes the sting out
of eorns and bunions. Over 10000 testimon-
ials. Sold Everywhere, 25c. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample FREE. Add ess
Allen . Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
Very Appreciative.

East End Clergy man anxious to In
terest lady in the poor of his parish
after visit to tenementI-W Well. what
do you think of the life these poor peo-
pie leadf Awful. isn't it? Society
Lady (who thinks everything craze)--
Dreadful. I'd no idea But Isn't II
rather overdone ?-London Punch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

Ask for and insist on having Lam
bertville Puffs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

The best way to get better Job is
to do better at the job you have
Youths Companion
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

Dispatch is the soul of business and
nothing contributes more to dispatch
than method.-Lord Chesterfield.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24
So Say We All.

So Say We All.
What kind of music suits your
taste2"
well. I'm not particular. I like it
either rare or well done."-Lippincott'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

Rarbarism.
Willie-Pa. what are the cruelties of
barbarism? Pa-Having the barber
cut you and then charge you dime for
sticking plaster Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-01-24

Idleness is the refuge of weak minds
aud the holiday of fools.-Chesterfel