New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-30
AS | WAS SAYING

We have long desired to SANDER some public man.
We are not malicious, but this is the open season
for public men. All their intimstes know il. 80
We have looked about FOR thoroughly desperate
public man to attack and selected Colonel Tacitus
Commoner Makepeace.
Awful things are being whispered about the
colonel In his boyhood he studied oratory with me
River Platte which though thousand miles 'ons'
Is only an inch deep While still young and tender
he crucifed himself on a cross of silver and began
10 see White Houses At present he is launching
imaginary battleships. Very suspicious all TINS
especially as there is nothing but grape Juice l'll
over for company.
II the colonel will kindly meet W. At Marquette
we shall be happy TO talk the matter out We
hope 10 convince him. as we exhausted hy the
above effort that cannot be expected 10 exert
ourself further and believe IT,
diplomacy" so Hashimuras definition explains
are saying the same thing sldevise Example:
Dearly beloved though ii hurts more than II
does YOU we shall be forced consider this An un-
anectionate act" meaning "HooroaT We can
now lam the head onn yous.' That IS why ireland
does not send ambassadors Grishmen are too SIN
ccre even when mad and cannot say the same tnihS
sidewise
Also il is why many diplomats go in FOR those in-
sincere breeches the mere mention OF which SO
teased Ambassador Page. Onentimes the very man
who is unable to say thing sdewise IN long
trousers can say IL sdewise in knickers. For IN
stance. golfrg Roars the golfer.
~ -,." But his understate-
ment Of the case does deceive us. We have been
there.
Alas for the ladies', They too have their worries
about dress When they put on long trousers ana
frock coats and high hats 20 demand their rights il
somehow. got talked around that they had leanings
toward the masculine Now when they demand
their rights in ladyuke habliments they are sns-
pected OF being females. A sex movement-"sh.
They have worse worries than that, though Just
a. thev are discussing the need for militancy over
here I'D hops q nice, kind lady 10 describe mill
tant as a cross child misguided IDIOT lunauc'
criminal and an Indian. Too bad. We are sorry
for that lady When militancy sets in her windows
Will go first.
The japanese are a proud sensitive people ana
have set I'D 10 be coorcd folks All the coIored
races they insist should be treated with the greatest
reverence We trust they are prepared to HFe up 10
This GOSPEL themselves, We have long been aware
Of colored folks in America and wondered where to
send them.
II is getting more ana more bothersome to .ive.
No longer any meek, obedient servants No longer
anv space in which little ones can frisk ABOUT
,n the omen air No longer a household free from
the strain OF deadening responsibilities Worse YET
world is growing lnCredulouS. OHe 'fil'' p''''
ones self off as dsgustingy wealthy without riding
in those dreary automobiles and attending the
dreadful opera and building those hateful villas 1t
is even difficult 20 maintain ancestors. "a their
initial cost is nothing TO the upkeep with all these
genealogical experts coming around after hush-
money.
But listen. Barely six minutes ago we gave d
glance at this great and terrible question and the
answer flashed upon Fools that we are we
bove beeu irving land!
y B-The Beathc sails at 3i5 this afternoon.
While purchasing the little sausages OF "hich We
are So fond we noticed the departure Of Mrs
Peter McCabe and the arrival Of our friends Totty
and ToodIums Said Toodlums. Who's that went
out?'
"Janitor's wife said Totty.
But Toodlums was not satisfied. so asked: What's
Wife2"
Al this Tottv scowlcd az Toodlums and replied IN
the loud tones one commonly employs IN making
English intelgiblc to foreigner: "Toodlums q
,,ifo is a woman that does mans washing and
cooks hi dinner Now, ] want you 10 remember
that for / amt going TO tell you again
X. l.. IL.