davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Governor Joseph NJ Brown is TAX
ing life easy in Marietta nowadays
discussing politics not at all, and ap-
parently not worried over the sit
uation."
The former Governors friends
throughout the State constantly are
specializing upon and wondering
what he will do" now that he is no
longer Governor. For a time there
was much talk going the rounds to
the effect that Little Joe" might
have a try for the United States Sen
ate next year. but so far he has in
timated to nobody just what his in
tentions are with respect to that.
1t is a known fact, nevertheless.
that the Ex-Governor has received
hundreds of letters within the last
two months, urging him to announce
for the Senate.
Governor Brown always has been
man inclined to keep his own coun-
sel-he never says wh4 he intends
doing until he fully has made up his
mind.
II he intends running for the Sen
ate he viii likely make that inter
esting fact known in due season
say, along about January l. or a lit
tie later.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Former President of the State Sen
ate w. S. West, of Valdosta. always
welcome visitor in any city's midst,
is in Atlanta to-day.
Colonel West has been spoken of
time and again as a South Georgia
candidate for the GovernOrship, but
if he has any idea Of running he will
not express it to newspaper folks. no
matter how guileless in appearance
they may be.
Mr.. West is a great friend and ad
mirer of the present Governor, and
paid that gentleman a lengthy visi.
to-day. which-so he, West. says
was purely social and devoid utterly
of politics"
The only thing l told the Gov
| ernor." said Mr.. West, at all worth
| repeating was about a fishing expe-
| rience l had recently on my place
near Valdosta.
Il have a pond there of something
like 100 acres that literally swarms
with fine trout. Frequently | catch
them there as long as-well, never
mind that! What | was going to tell
about was that / caught two at once
| the other day Yes, sir, when | pulled
in a 2-pouuder, | found that A.
FOUNDER had swallowed the .
Founders tail, and about hair of his
body besides, after such a fashion
that he could not get away. and so
l landed them BOTH wiggling and
Topping amazingly
"They weighed together a trihe-
| a mere tribe, however-over six
pounds"
Hum" said Secretary Jesse Perry
did the Governor swallow that
story"
We'll. it's a perfectly true story,
whether he swallowed it or not" said
Mr.. West, and, anyway, he swal-
lowed as much of ii as the big trout
swallowed of the little fellow!
Besides. that isn't the biggest fish
story | know" began the Lowndes
County statesman, all over again.
"Once upon a time"
But Perry had tainted dead away.
and the newspaper men had fled from
there.
Captain b. F. Johnson, of Secre-
tary Phil Cooks office in the capitol
veteran Of efficient service in the
department, boasts of being the
worlds slowest typewriter.
He uses one finger of one hand
| only, and although he has practiced
on that old machine for years, he
never has permitted himself to ac-
quire a speed of over four words per
| minute, unless now and then he has
| an indefinite article to repeat sew
| eral times in the same line. where
! upon ne has been known 10 crowd
! his speed up to six words per minute,
| Captain Johnson never hurries,
never worries, and never takes any
| thing too seriously. Wherefore. he
| is the very youngest old man under
| the big dome and is getting younger
all the while.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Says Black Attacked Him.

We went to the Exchange Hotel.
where he became angry at me. and in
his excitement struck me several
times. Others who We're in the room
came to my aid and rather bruised up
Mr.. Black before the police came. We
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
4 Novel Short Story Complete

money with me-" His purse was
heavy with gold coins
How much is that?" he asked,
pointing to a small dried fish
A nickel" the man replied.
That is cheap enough" the rich
man thought.
And that" he asked pointing to
a delicious pie.
"A nickel" the man replied with a
smile, evidently amused to see the
rich mans establishment.
when things are that cheap" said
the rich man, condescendingly you
might give me two portions Of fish
and two Of those pies"
The man did not move
You must pay in advance" he said.
Certainly" said the rich man, and
handed him a twenty-dollar piece.
That is no nickel" said the man.
sternly. And, calling two walters,
added: Throw that man out"
The rich man was furious when he
found himself outside.
What a foolish arrangement" he
muttered. They accept only nickeIs
here. | must get some change"
He hurried back to earth and re-
vealed himself to his children In a
dream
Take back your gold" he said.
Il can not use ii here Give me a big
bag Of nickeIs or I shall starve to
death"
The Mortified children took the gold
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
. . The Manicure LADY o q
By WILLIAM F. KIRK.

GGTHAD a scrap with the white serv-
ant girl this morning" said the
Manicure Lady 1T try to be nice
and calm, usually. George, but that new
servant Of mine has sure got my goat
1 can't see why mother keeps her. but
mother is getting along in years and I
hate to do anything to cross her"
What's the matter with the serv-
anti" asked the Head Barber.
"Oh, she thinks she is intellectual"
said the Manicure Lady Imagine It.
George; intelligent servant, when
she don't know how to fry eggs with
out burning them. Anybody that can't
cook wet thing like a egg without
burning 1t amt got no intellect. and
that's all there is to that argument
THE other day she had the mendacity
TO correct me on my English. was
telling mother that I had took a car
ride the other night, and the servant
up and says, You mustn't say you have
took a car ride, you should say YOU have
taken car ride I tried to tell the
poor simp that 7 had took the ride,
and that there was no taken about il,
but she got thick and said something
about my early education. and I fxeS
her then with one OF my regal stares
of naughty disdainment. and intimates
kind of strong that I might hop my demi
tasse off her intellectual forehead, after
which she sort of draws in her horns. 1
don't claim that l know the whole die
tlonary, George, but if 7 do say 1t N.Y.
self, l have strung more words together,
and does 1t more graceful. than she ever
done it, and even if she could talk as
good as l can, she ought TO take our
relative stations in life into considera-
ton, don't you think?
THE trouble with white servants now
adays. George, is that they read too
many Of Mister Chambers novels and
study the cook book too little girl
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

and filed the coffin with nickels.
Il have change now" cried the rich
man, as he rushed up to the counter.
Give me something to eat quickly,
I am starving"
Money in advance" said the man
dryly.
The rich man threw a handful Of
nickels on the counter.
The man behind the counter smiled
and said:
You have not earned much while
you We're living on the earth. Up
here we do not accept the money you
own, but only what you have given
away Search your memory. Per
haps you have sometime given some
thing to a poor man. Every nickel
you have given away is good for a
thousand nickels here"
The rich man thought But he had
never in his life helped anybody. and
50 he found himself an outcast spirit
loaded with useless gold.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Items of Interest

The most fatal explosion ever
known was at Gravelines in 1854.
Three thousand persons were killed
Capital punishment was abolished
in Italy in 1875. Since then murders
have increased AZ per cent.
The biggest apple orchard in the
world has $4,000 trees. 1t belongs to
Governor Morrill,, of Kansas.
SCotland's population Is 15411
greater than that of Ireland. She Is
also nearly twice as rich.
French people eat on an average
105 eggs a year apiece, English s. and
Italians only As.
Only 70 per cent Of those con-
demned to death in France are event
ually executed.
The proper distance between the
eyes is the width of one eye
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

the bunny hug and all the other dances
which insult those for whom shey are
named
The girls he dances with are nana.
respectable girls. and they are her
friends.
He says by his actions, II may, end
your friends may, but you must not
No wonder she rebels! Il she were
as graceful on the floor az q boy with
two wooden legs she would insist after
that declaration on getting up and trot-
ting and hugging with The worst Of
them. No American woman win gtand
for what he expects her to accept. He
might find somewhere in the world q
little suppressed creature who has been
brought up to believe that any ons IN
trousers is a lord and master. but he
won't find such . creature m this oo1n-
try.
He is right in his contention that thssa
dances are vulgar. but wrong IN his ef-
fort to influence his sweetheart against
them.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

/ that is all the time reading abou+ PhvI-
lis reclining idly on a divan and renIv-
ing archly to Lord Thickblock. can't be
expected to set the table proper or pre-
pare spuds in the manner in which they
should be prepared in"
My wife does our Homework and
she has got all the servants in cres-
ton beaten a block" said the Head
Barber.
on must be happy man, George"
declared the Manicure Lady. Every
thing you get 10 eat tastes better thar
way and You don't have to listen to the
silly tax Of no mental. This girl 1 was
Just telling You about had the nerve
the other day to tell me that her soul
rose superior to the sor6i6 drudeerv
she done, and reached out when she
was dreaming alone. reached out for the
unretainable. or whatever she called IL
l told her if she done more reaching ON
Tor The broom and less reaching out for
the unretainable, we would have a
cleaner living room. but she has took a
violent diversion to me, and I s1Innose
we will quarrel until mother sees thu
folly OF keeping her and gets real serv-
ant
"Wilfred tried to stick up for the girl
when he heard her saying that she loved
poetry, but when he showed her one
OF his sad pieces and she laughed so
hard at it. thinking he meant it for a
comic he froze up like a pond IN New
England, and has came over TO nv way
Of looking at things. He saws that she
has the mind Of hind, whatever that
means and between he and me I guess
we VIII manage to get rid Of her"
Are YOU going to do your own work
when you get married." asked the Head
Barber
Not me-" said the Manicure LADY
but / amt going to have no intellec-
tual servant, either
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
A Legend
A RICH man was lying on his
~ deathbed. All his life he had

A RICH man was lying on his
~ deathbed. All his life he had
been an avaricious miser and
had gathered enormous riches.
Money is the only thing that is
worth anything" he always said when
people reproached him, and now, as
death was approaching, he thought:
of course, it is just the same in
Heaven. Money is everything there.
too. I must take my money with
me"
He called his children together and
said: MY last wish is that-that you
will fill my coffin with gold. Put in
all 1t will hold"
That night he died, and his children
did as he had asked them 70.
The dead man entered the mex.
world, where he had to go through
the usual formaHties. He had to
answer many questions and his name
was entered in many big books. The
day was nearly over when they fin
ished and he felt dreadfully hungry
This will never do" he said to
himself, Il must get something to
eat"
And he discovered counter fun Of
many kinds Of delicious food.
I can get a good meal here" he
thought. How fortunate I brought
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
In the Barber sChair

mo sooner was / seated in the
chair" began Jones, than the barber
commented on the weather, and d.
rected a current OF discourse into my
ears.
'Je ne comprend pas said 1 with
an inward Chuckle, thinking his
volubility would be checked
In very good French ne started in
afresh. l looked at him as if be
wildered and then interrupted him
by asking:
WAS Sagen Sie?'
He began to repeat in German all
that he had been saying when ! shut
him off with:
"Oh. talk to me with your fingers,
I'm deaf and dumb"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Up-to-Date Jokes

Il was In school In Glamorg@n that
one of the boys would persd1t In say
ing and writing, Il have wrote"
To cure him Of this he was set the
task OF writing one hundred times the
words, Il have written" after school
hours
Tho teacher went home and forgot
the boy for a time On hurryinw back
she found he had left this note On her
desk:
Dear Teacher-I have wrote I hs~e
written a hundred times, and I have
went home"
Sunday School Teacher-what do We
mean by the quick and the head7
Small Boy-Them as gets out of the
way Of motor cars Is quick. and than
as don't is dead.
And what did you most szAyy m
France. Mrs. Newrich7 80
We'll. I think II was tho French
pheasant7 singing the 'Mayonnaisa'
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Reform Yourself First
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

a YOUNG Man writes: 7 am in
| ~ love with a Young girl. and have
requested her not TO dance the
| turkey trot. bunny hug or niggers out
side Of her home, as my contention is
| that they are not fit dances for a young
girl to participate in. dance them
| myself. together with similar numbers
! My friend says she sees no harm in
the dances I have named when you
know with whom you are dancing. Ny
opinion is TO the contrary. want her
20 be more dignihed."
There is an old story that man once
suggested TO his wife that each write a
list Of the others faults. to be opened
and read at the end OF the week She
| agreed.
When the end Of the week came, he
handed her a bulky envelope, She
opened It, and II contained a long list
Of all her sins and shortcomings. from
her choice Of reading to the manner in
which she hung out the dishcloth. and
Of which his mother had never approved
She looked a little hurt as she read.
but made no comment.
Then he opened the envelope she had
handed him.
You may have faults he read, ''"but
II you have. l don't see them. l love
you just as you are"
The story is characteristic Of the man.
ner in which men and women love
She accepts him with his faults, and
says nothing He would like TO make
her over. and they are never married
50 long that he doesn't wish she were
a little more sedate. or taller. or thin
ner, or more entertaining. or better
looking, or something else. making her
over in his mental vision after every
new feminine pattern that attracts him
This young man loves the girl. Butt
He would like her better n he could
make her over. And, manlike, he goes
ct II the wrong way.
II can he says, and you can't
I do. but you must not do. dance
these dances. but you must not dance
them"
And she sits in her corner and sees
him seek partners for the turkey trot.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Advice to the Lovelorn
ASK HER.
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

ASK HER.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
I am q and have known a
girl of II for the past two years.
In the last six weeks ! have
learned to love her dearly. While
speaking she always tells me that
she wants to marry an actor, but
shows by her actions that she
cares for me.
How can I find out whether she
really loves me or bring her TO
understand the true feeling that
have for her? A. w.
I am quite sure she holds tina
phantom actor before you to tormen'
you and that she really cares fol
you. Don't let it worry you. If she
is a sensible girl she will soon out,
grow such foolish notions.
Tell her you love her Don't ex.
pect such an avowal from her unit
you have made it fret.
THAT DEPENDS ON HIS AGE.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
L K. says when A young man
asks a young lady to go out the
proper way is to ask the mother
first If he may take the daughter,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

pumps maybe covered
the velvet between pair
entail mules" with pink little
here The lazy
just akethe busy pink white
the others
The white letter and
splendid plenty
just the plain business girl you
The letter make
who finds life thing rosy
she had-A JOB! There a lot of you
Here they Both together, NELL BRINKLEY
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

felt blue and discouraged.
Il began taking Lydia 3. Pinkahm's
Vegetable Compound and am now In
bod health. If 1t had not been for
that medicine, would have been in
my grave a long time ago."-NIrs
ARTIE E. HAMILTON, r. r. D. No.
6, Warren, Ind.
Another Case.
Esmond, R. IT write to tell you
how much good your medicine has
done me and TO let other women
know that there is help for them.
suffered with bearing down pains,
headache, was irregular and felt blue
and depressed all the time. I took
Lydia E, Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and commenced to gain in a
short time. and l am a well woman
to- day. I am on my feet from early
morning until late at night running n
boarding house and do all my own
work. I hope that many suffering
women will try your medicine. 1t
makes happier wives and mothers"-
Mrs. ANNA HANSEN, Esmond,
Rhode Island.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

7 ERE my severe hsnelke paper
from Of the valiant girls
town shoulder to shoulder with
from the hold I'm the
lined with delicate tissue thin
The typed smelling
just the
and clearly bainy
family
the easefu lacy charming girl
probably the typewriter
silken
finished beside mile
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

while L. S. says IT is just as prop
er TO ask the young lady and let
her ask the mother. L. s
It was an old-fashioned custom.
unfortunately passing into disuse, 10
ask the mothers consent first. no
matter what the girls age.
1t is still the correct thing to ask
her consent if the girl is young. It
Is most unfortunate that this COURTS
~ due the mother and which safe
guards the girl is not always OBJ
served.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Strange.

Hotel Manager-Did YOU give the
gentleman in room 19 his bill?"
Waiter-Yes, sir.
Hotel Manager didn't forget to
charge for anything, did t.
Waiter Not that I know OF. sir.
Hotel Manager very
strange. I can still hear him whis-
Ting!
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

{ ptbLAIb uAru Wbe IlOt
regular, my head
ached al the time,
I had bearing
down pains and
my back hurt me
the biggest part
Of the time. I was
dizzy and had
weak feelings
when I would
stoop over, 1t hurt
me to walk any
distance and !
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Within the Law.

Jimson-W Where are you going?
Billson- Only off for a days shooting.
Jimson-Great snakes, With that car
load Of freight?
Billson-Those boxes contain books,
the latest and most complete compen-
diums Of the game laws Of the State 7
don't want to shoot anything out Of sea
son.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
BLUE And
DISCOURAGED
Mrs. Hamilton Tells How
She Finally Found Health
in Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.

Warren, Inds-"T was bothered ter
ribly with female weakness, had
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Who is The Man so Meek and Good
and Well Behaved? Is he always so7
No, my Child; He was Caught at 1t
yesterday,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Why does the Hard Working Mr..
links do just as his wife Requests.
never grumbling that he hasn't time?
Because, my Child, she has Tact, and
never asks him To do anything with
out failing to Add that she knows he
has Too Much to do already.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Who is that Very Proper Person
whom all seem to hate, and Why do
they hate him? He is the man, my
enid. who listens eagerly to the
Scandal, and then SAYS piousIv when
his Curiosity has been Appeased that
it is very, Very wrong to gossip.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18

Who is the man who walks So
slowly to and from the cemetery every
day? Has he left his heart out there?
No, my Child: he has lost No one. He
is certain woman's Second husband,
and walks to the Cemetery that he
may Give the headstone over the
grave OF her First husband a Svmpa.
thetiC pat or Two.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-18
Tabloid Fables

NTHY does the Man who was
w Walking so Slowly about his
Work Hurry all of a Sud
Den? Did he Just Remember that he
Had a train to catch, or did a Bee
sting him? Neither. my Child. He
happened to Look up and see that His
Boss was Watching Him.
The Washington times., 1913-08-07
Mrs. Daniels Entertains At Luncheon .
For Party of Relatives From South
Austro-Hungarian Ambassador
and Nine. Dumba Guests of
Hammonds At Gloucester.

The Austro-H Hungarian Ambassador
and Nine. Dumba are the guests OF
Mt. and Mrs. John Hays Hammond q,
their summer place. Lookout Hill, al
Gloucester, Mass.
Countess Gizycka, of Chicago and
Washington. has been the guest for the
last few days of Mrs. Thomas p.
Laughlin, at her summer place at Prides
Crossing. Mass.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clarke waggaman are
spending few days In New York en-
route to Long Island. where they will
make series of visits.
49, -s
Former Senator Culiom has gone to
Atlantic City for a visit.
Mr.. and M5soF. worden Graham have
gone to Fort Screven, Georgia, to visit
their son-in$iaw and daughter, Lieut..
and Mrs. RIG. Payne.
%" q
Judge and Mrs. Arthur NJ. Thompson
are spending the month at Monmouth.
N. ]. -s-.r-- go
The Washington times., 1913-08-07
Iepo5piS Plgyed By bioself

ran to the kitchen, where his mother
was preparing supper.
II know what It is he hasn't got that
I have" he. cried, cllnging to his
mothers skirt; Freddie hasn't any
mother: his mother is dead"
Tommie.s sobs came fast and loud,
but his mother took him on her lap and
soon quieted him.
Mother knew her boy would not
want to change places with poor little
Freddie when he knew there was no
mother there" she said. you see. II
was wrong to want anything Freddie
has. because he hasn't any mother and
his father buys him all the things that
money can get for him, so he will not
be unhappy.
! But he'd rather have his mother than
anything else in the whole world" said
Tommie. looking up at his mother
through her tears; che told me so and
he cries every night when he goes to
bed, and no one tells him a story or
tucks him in his bed same as you do
me-" "a
Poor little Freddie. We must be very
kind to him and do all we can to make
him happy" said Tommie's mother,
land you will never again want any
thing Freddie has. will you, or be un-
happy because you cannot have as
much as he has?''
mo, mother. 1 won't" replied Tom
mie, hugging her tight: 81 rather be
your little boy and 1--we here with you
and father than have all the toys In
the world, or watch or a music box.
or anything