Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-11-07
Miseellansulls gsading.
LAWsoN's $4,000 BOOK
..Hish Cost of Living" Sent to Con-
sressmen is Finaneier's Latest
Bomb for System.

"Hish Cost of Living" Sent to Con-
sressmen is Finaneier's Latest
| Bomb for System.
The latest bomb from the Boston
camp of Thomas w. lawson is a
Iportly folio encased in red ooze calf
faced with crimson silk, printed on
handmade deckle-edged paper and
with fine colored illustrations of devils
quite the most exquisite setting ever
devised for verbal shrapnel. The
total cost OF the edition was $4,000.
It is full to the brim Of explosives,
contains his latest magazine articles
exposing 1.-The Systems responsible
lity for the advancing charges for
food, housing, raiment and transpor-
tation, besides other arguments prov
ling the relation between Stock Ex-
change quotations and high cost of
living-done in the best Lawsonese
vivid, pyrotechnic, forceful
OF this expensive work, only 1000
volumes were printed and a copy,
suitably inscribed, sent to each MEM
ber of the United States senate and
house Of representatives, and to GER
tain other lawmakers throughout the
country.
Sandwiched among the serious
arguments, printed in red, appear a
series Of parallels and epigrams which
the author calls undertakings, from
which the following are excepted:
"Oh, the Muck that the Muckraker
rakes
Is the Muck that the Muckraker
makes.
And the Muck that the Muckraker
makes
Is the Muck that the Muckraker
rakes." .S
"The Wall street map Of America
is divided into three sections: Wall
street, Suckerville and the territory
embraced by Bloomingdale, Mattewan
and Washington.
"a Zanzibar galley slave, passing
through Homestead in those good old
days before Andy swapped his $780,
900, 900 Of human broilers and heart
and soul friers into $1,500,000,00
license to- tax-the-American people,
was SO terrorized at the sight Of My
Lord of Skibo's subjects. that he faint
ed. Coming to, he begged to be en-
balmed until he could get back to
Gods own country and ways, and It's
said that in far-off Zanzibar the poor
devil even yet Nightmares at the vision
of Americas freedom"
"A son of Erin, loaded to the gun
vale with the ozone and microbic
good things Of Gods free and abund-
antly supplied atmosphere, sitting on
the steamship landing contemplating
the possibilities Of getting lubricant
for his sea-mussed innards, or, as
second choice, a solid meal for the
vacuum created by his contributions
to the fishes on the way over, had his
attention tweaked by the arrival of
the crested broughan of one Of the
kings of New York. AS the beautiful
steeds were being thrown to their
haunches, the bedazzling footman,
hurting through the box and door
space to his me ludship," knocked
the babe from the arms Of ragged
mother, whose palsied outstretched
for heavens -sake-give-me aims hand
was already in through the brough-
ans window. AS to-the- manner
born retainer boot-toed the babe clear
of me ludship's" path with gently
whispered Get to hell out Of here
with your brat" Pat recognized in the
plug-hatted statesman millionaire king
Of the western metropolis, his old
dublin bar-tending crony. AS the
hot, red blood flew to Pats hungry
face, a bystander heard him mutter:
Thank God, Ireland is oppressed!
II I'd come over to the land Of free
dom and equality when Mike did,
probably by this time I'd been royal
ty, tool"
Just then the ships band struck up
the national air, God Save the
Trusts" in honor of the arrival Of the
company's president.
The 27 American Dollar Kings,
those Of a quarter billion apiece, re-
Gently held a meeting and voted to
petition the author Of Burke Peerage
to establish an American branch OF
real royalty. After a few meetings 1t
looked like go. They agreed on the
dollar sign for a crest, the mushroom
for a crown, and that none should
qualify but quarter -billionaires; but
when they heard the Burke taboo on
combination plug hats, sackcoats
and Observation-Disclosures dress shirt
fronts, they refused to merge unless
the English code was revised.
And as the System leered, the Peo-
pie raised their imploring hands and
their clenched fists, and in wild wall
and hoarse howl, which resounded
from ocean to ocean and from the
frozen fields to the torrid gulf, Shrek
ed: 'Justice!' Where is Justice?'"
"And there was incubated from
Liberty and Prosperity a Leering
Thing-the System. And out Of it's
leering came Crime and Misery. And
Virtue cringed and Honor shriveled
and Class-hatred reared its beast form.
And where had been Liberty and
Prosperity there was Desolation and
He'll"
In the rural districts Of the United
States tainted money means one thing
in the financial habitats another, and
in Washington quite another. When
a Wall street man says tainted mon
ey" he means only such money as
he cannot get his claws on. In the
country the ch-harangued-again
tainted coin is that which the rural
tiles banker to get their claws on. In
Washington tainted money Is that
which the country's saviors hope to
get their claws on.
During a former administration a
Russian nobleman, passing through
New York, impressed with our superb