The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1913-03-14


hankerin' ayfter 90 flesh-pots OF Egypt
done fotch some po' sinnahs t de al
tar | amt complainin' of de carnil
an carniferous food she done give US,
brt of de spitichul nu'ishment. | new
did see mo'ner rollin' on dis flo'
whist Sist Humphreys ben yere. We
all ben thirstin' an famishin' TO a
good ol-time revival. But We enjured
Ontwel one day de glory come on
Br'er Pope, an he hollered-tryin to
If us all up-'Amen! Amen! Let
de sinner quit ,sinnin' an he shall be
saved!' An dat ar woman she call
out: Yes; let i'm quit sinnin'! Let
i'm quit sellin of aigs to de sto' wen
he don't be keepin' only one hen!' Dat
ar remark Moderated false an wick
ed notions bout Unc' Alick Pope, who
lives nigh de cunnel's chicken-yard."
"a solitary giggle from the school
mistress.) She done faly r'ar an
charge bout chicken-stealin'. Dat
amt promote edderfication nor good
feelin'." (Groans of assent from a
deeply interested audience) But mex
Sabbath come wuss. She done an
nounce she ben 'lowin' to preach us a
serious discourse on de Ten Command
minis. Well, VEAL done look dem
commandments up an study on dem a
heap. We felt tolable secure on de
Fust an Second, she lumpin' dem to-
gedder TO- one out at preachin'; an
we sat back easy, hopin' TO grace an
true religion; but she jes slued roun'
on to conjure-cha ms an such, invagin'
agin' dem twell We got all de devo-
tional feelin' plumb squoze outen Us.
Third Commandment we natchelly
didn't eXpec' no harm of; but ayfter
de fust godly words bout profane
swarm, eff she didn't git on to false
warm bsfo' the gram jury, bout
crap-shootin', en- git us al; terrible on
comfortable. Mex command she
didn't ben sound on, sayin' heap
bout washin' up IN tubs Satiddy
nights, an tew little bout de spitichul
observation of the holy day. an come
down hard on respected brother who
sayd once. L isn't to wash in winter;
an sayd bad wuds bout sisters dat
went visitin' Sattidy evenin's, stidder
washin' Up ready TO- de holy day;
sayd some sisters ne did wash de po'
little tricks shirts, jes' taken new
fiour-sacK an cut loles in it. She
talked like dat ontwel it ben right
| ondecent and onchristian; an one sis
ter OATS subjec' to fits providerchelly
done t'rowed on an bruk up de meet
in But VEAL sorter done spunk up
on de Fiji Commandment; looked lax
hit ben sho' HARMLESS; an we done
fotch de chillen to learn DER july
to DER PAL ants Well, dey sho' got it!
But den she done scorched de par
ents nightly bout de 'zample dey
ben 'bleeged to set de chillen. Dat
ar ben Il fearful, sufferin' hour, an |
new did see dis yere congregation so
dry an havin' to git out de pump so
often. Dey went by whole families
an befo' she ben frow mighty nigh
| ever las chill ben taken outside. We
didn't dast let 'em see frow it,
| tGroans all over the house, She
mandmint wild outrageous rema'ks on
razors. An next Sunday comes de
Seventh Commandment, an we amt
nowise willin' to enjure her handlin'
of dat, nohow." deep groans of as
sent from brothers and sisters alike.)
Nor de Eight neider" (No, no."
from the seat of Uncle Alexander
Pope.) "Wust is, de ongodly outside,
de Methodists an de cullud folks from
de Ridge, is fixin' to come over an
See we-all ripped up. De church house
ben plumb full over Sabbath, an we
all don dast stay way, not KNOWN
what scandillous stories will be circu-
lated" ("Dat's SOL" "Holp, Lord!"
from earnest souls in the audience.)
AN de chu'ch is losin' OF members
Bruddah Dan Williams done moved
away" Ono. sab, no, he amt; he
ben sent to de pen'D 81 didn't say
how come he moved, Brudder Car
roll; he are gone. Unc' Jim Hollis
done 'bandon his crop. Aunt Gale
donia Ray lef' las week count of in
| jur'us reflections bout mince pie
| she done mix up by mistake wild de
weeks wash she taken FUN de big
house. We done pied Wild Sist' Hum
piireys to quit; but she won't quit.
Now de question am: How shill we git
saved fiom Sist' Humphreys an git
a preacher will preach religion-an'
muffin else?"
Amid Il deep hum of applause Broth.
er Morrow Sat down. Half a dozen
voices begged for attention; but the
chair recognized Sister Susannah Belle
Coffin. Sister Susannah was of ex
ceeding comeliness and hght-brown
complexion. II report spake truly
there was no one in Zion who had
more reason to dread a fearless and
minute exposition of the demands OF
the Seventh commandment She had
started her career as a destroyer OF
domestic peace with capital of good
looks, gift for cookery, a voice OF
silver. and two small unprecedented
children. "A single pusson like me
wild no chillen." would be her plain
;tive excuse for demanding the goot
Offices of the brothers in cutting WOOD
or palm in her gyardin;" and to<
often, under the spell of Susannah'i
eyes and Susannah's voice and Su
sannah's cooking, the end of an limo
cent neighborly kindness was jeal
gus wife and parting" Sometime
Susannab welded the departing hus
| band sometimes she flOuted him. bu
steadily, single or welded, Susannah'
little garden-plot grew more beauti
full, Susannah's kitchen range accu