davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
"Bunkoed Again

My opinion OF the entire bribery
story is that Thaw has been bunkoed
again hy somcbody,' is what Col
Scott, superintendent OF New York
State prisons. had to say in respect to
the story that $4,000 had been put up
for Harry Thaw to try to buy his way
out OF Matteawan Asylum.
1t began to look as il this also un-
der the gui>c OF being Investigated"
would be permitted to drag itself ont
to a finish OF nothingnesS, but the
statement made by the colonel-a very
important hint-affords a lead that
should be followed. "Bunkocd again by
somebody" How often, then, has Thaw
been hunkocd before. and II so by
whom? And thcu, how could any ono
get into Mateawau Asylum 10 'bunko"
Thaw. and wlro did it, ii any one did:
II Col. Scott would but become Il
trifc more lucid and answer these
simple questions after throwing out
his hint, the investigation might have
good results
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
WORD CHANGES.
Numerous Instances Unfamiliar ta
Most Folks,

Frr1n u'e Indianapolis Sevs
In tho ''R"mance Of Words" a recent
publication by an English author, much
spac" Is devoted TO "aphesis." which
means gradual or uHIutentiOnal Joss Of
mn WnncCcuted vowel at th. bcRiuuing Of
3 word. This kind Uf word shrinkagc is
NOR" common than one might suppose.
S"IHct'rH"E the middle syllable Of n word
Will b" slurrcd to tho point Of .xtinc-
iion. From Mary MaEdalcn. fearful and
ponit"nt. comes the word maudlin. now
generally used to designate tho lRrhry-
InOsc stage 81 drunkenness. Sa"riEtan is
contracted into EcNtln: the Old French
word paravsic becomes palsy: hydro
risi" becomes drOpsy. and the word pro-
curator becomes prOt"r In English Beth
l"hcIu Hospital for Lunatics. establish j
IN London. came to be tclo< COp"d into
hcdlam. rTu"h as ChOlmondrI"y came to
hc ChumIcy. and Maiorihanks. Marsh
banks. Peel is for appeal. mend for
amend. lore for alone. fender, whether
before fireplace or outside ship, is
for defender. fence for defence. tAint for
attaint Tho word peach. commonly re-
garded as English thief slang. goes back
70 the time OF Shakespeare. and is 70
lated to irnp"ach. though used to lndi-
ratc informing AGAINST AN aCCompiiCc- sir
.Iohu FalstaT. In act two. scene two.
In the first part Of Henry w. SAYS:
II hc ta'cn. I'll peach for this" The
word car is for Scotch caddie. once an
,rrand boy, now familiar in connection
with golf Caddic is from tho French
word cadet. meaning n Junior or Young
4, h-OThC-
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
SIBERIA IS NOT DESERT WASTE.
| Impressions Conveyed by school
Hooks Far from Facts.
National Geyrardsc MssaLln".

From tie National GeSraTatc Magazine.
The early impressions of Siberia.
formed from the very limited informa-
ton contained In school books of not
very long ago, I'm which iuckless in
ha bitants of this country were pictured
riding in peculiar-shaped sleds, drawn
by horses running at the top of their
speed. and just about to be dcvoured
by n great pack of hungry wolves. while
those not fleeing from this awful fate
were either condemned to hopeless servi-
tude In the mines or cXilcd, eking out
Il bare existence I'm this land OF per-
petual winter and limltiIcss forests. have
not been entirely eliminated from the
minds bf many. Whatever conditions
may he IN fnanr other parts bs this
great empire, the boGhtry through which
the railway passes as well as the hp-
pearaue- of the people gathered al the
stations. would entirely dIspcl such ideas.
Great steppes, winding rivers. stretches
Of wood and undulattng meadows arc
the characteristics of the country as
seen on both sides of the track The
s"ll Is very fertile; Wild flowers are
NJ enormous growth, and although the
a.asnn is short, the appearance Of
VcGrta,lon Gen"rnIiy Indicates a rapid
growth and early maturity: or cuuTs",
llke other new countries. s,unc unfavo--
Phln conditions exist. which will require
time and experien'" Ia overcome. In
the distribution Of forests and rivers
large tracts were left devoid II either
and IN districts ON Siberian stcppnS
arteslau wells often bring mp only salt
or litter water. and wells furnishing
sweet water sometimes suddenly change
tn salt ahd become useless
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09

peace and harmony in the House These
are the rud lie and practical things which
will disturb his dreams Of Ideal at
.ainment: They should hot be, of
course: The country; which appreciates
the high standard which has been set
and which wants TO see great moral
and social, as well as material, advance
ment in President Wilson's admins
tration, does not want them to be The
people. as whole desire better things
1t will be remarkable, however; If
President Wilson does not experience
something of shock when, in the
course of events. he attempts to play
the part of an idealist in the political
drama IN which he Is new assigned
leading part:
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
"Whnt Good Is Life Mt SIXTY"
fraa Harp-rs WcckI-.

frzl HarTrrs Wcckl-.
So much depends on tho point Of view.
For example, il is proposed to give
pensions to the postmcn. and the terms
on which the pensions shall he paid ar"
under discussion We read in the Time !
that the younger clerks favor having
them payable On demand after thirty
years service, irrespective Of age or
Capabilities. Older men say that woulI
result in pensioninE of some men while
still! In their forties. and suggest sixty AZ
a proper age FOR retirement. To that
with fine sCorn, retOrts Charles Gardner
a Madison Square letter carrier:
What good is n mans life TO him
self when he's sixty years old and
have life enough in us to spend a wear
od two in peace. Work us til we're
over sixty and you work us into tho
shadow Of the grave. In a few cases
and actually into III" grave In all tho
other cases. Ia like to get my ease IN
my old age 4 little earlier II I'm TO have
"A chance at II at all
Undoubtedly at sixty VIC are IN tho
shadow Of the grave. hut so we are n,
fifty. at forty, at fifteen. Mt six, AMI
at one. All life goes on in that shadow.
lt may 60 on at sixty mighty well and
vastly to the satisfaction OF the sub
ject. Charles should not be discour-
aged. II he lives wisely. drinks light,
keeps his health. and manages 10 So
crete little sense. he may find III.
more profitable at sixty than hc has
ever found il Yet. and that. whether ~
gets II pension or not. II he will read
Cicero on Old Age he, will get some
good points. though sixty is by no
means old age.
Eut. gracious, how folks ar" reaching
out for PENSIONS
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Value of y Laugh.
rom tho 50. Lgui, RrIruhIi'

rom u" -. Louis hHIEIhN0
The value OF a good uatured laugh
may he rated low by some people. bat
many writer's hav" att"stcd its worth
:p no measured terms
u * not surprising that Charles Lamb
should have said. IA laugh is worth a
hundred groana in anv market" but
from the lips OF the sornbre Carlyle on"
* scarcely prepared to hear. NO man
" no has once heartily and wholly laugh
.-d can b. altogether or irrcClairla bly,
tad.
II was Douglas Jcrr"lL VIII" boldly
stated that what was talked "f AZ the
golden ,nain Of Juve was nothing NOR"
'lau i sr..rrssl"u or laughs. chrumatic
srulc @: Iu"r-.ucut reaching from earth
tu olympus.
4 AN persuaded" wrote I.aur"nC"
Sl"rrIv. that EVERY TIM q uran smiles
hut much mor" 50 When he laughs
t adds something t. Ills fragment Of
lit"
Last Of all may Il" cited IN" v"rdi't
ur Ouyrr Wendell Holmes. given with
his own inlmItaIslc lumur. The riot"uS
tu,uuit of {. laugh. l tax" it. is tn" mob
Law Of IT,. features, and pr"prictv the
magistrate who reads tn" riot act
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09

funny part Of it-nOne OF the directors
had the r,motest idea which was right.
They called In n local hiEhhrow. whn
decided in favor Of young Sterling. And
then the directors fired the teacher. They
said he was hcinously ignorant
James Francis Eurkc. tho PittsburC
Congressman, whose winning smile and
faultless. though highly ornate. ueCktirs
make him a marked man. called cab
in New York tn" other day 10 ride a
short block and half. because it was
raining The man charged him half a
dollar. BurAe thought that was too
much.
I'm pay you," said the Congressman.
handing him a coin, but l think you re
an Internal pirate. You ought to hc in
jail"
The caUman looked at the coin and
laughed.
You're all right nc exclaimed. with
more rordiality than Burke thought the
occasion warranted.
1t was an hour later before Burke dis
covered hv had handed the man $40
gold piece instead Of half dollar.
When Burke told tn" pathetic tale in
Washington it reminded IhiIandcr g.
Knox nr the time a friend Of his rode
in cab in London. When h" got TO
his destination the man fUnhled in his
pockets Il get the money for the driver
and then asked him for a match. While
the cahhy was feeling 10 see II he had
i match. the man explained:
Il dropped a sovereign on the nOor OF
your cab and
Before he could finish the sentence. the
cabby slashrd his horse and was gone.
DIR. Harvey ". Wiley. who runs a pure
food department i'll L magazine, writes all
his stuff on trains. Instead of sitting up
in the smoker with the drummers hearing
EN- tell how they always sleep under
blankets" no matter what part OF the
country they come from. the doctor takes
a little pad in his lap and spills words all
over it's virgin pages from his fountain
pen.
While Jim Mann. the minority leader.
was talking away on one of the closing
days Of the recent session of Congress.
one might have noticed young Mr.. \. W.
Lafrerty. of Oregon. seated at his desk
all intent ,n bunch Of figures he WAS
putting on paper.
Trying to figure out what your income
tax will be-" inquired Billy Kent. whose
seat adjoined l.affertv's.
No" replied L.afTrTty. rive been work
ing here for an hour trying To determine
what would happen II every memb- r
talked as much Jim Mann does. As
rear ~ | can tell-anl "" just gone
over all my figures carcfully-if every body
"IuIalcd his talking record the Congress
Siunfl Rec Td. for nm average session of
congress. instead "f filling merely from
ten to fifteen volumes. would amount To-
CT volumes and ~ half.
lCers right, 1918. T.. FTrI u, krliy, All rights re-
ssTycd.l
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Palaces of Thcbcs.

From the New York American.
The palaces Of old Thcbcs, in Egypt.
were probably the largest and most Won
dcrful ever erected by the hand of
man. One of them was the container
of a central hall ~ feet i'm height, 325
feet In length. and l19 feet in breadth.
the roof OF which was supported by 13i
columns II feet in diameter and 76 feet
in height. III" COrnireS We're of the
finest Marble inlaii with ivory work
and sheathed with beaten gold From
the point Of view Of artistic beauty,
the Parthenon. of course, still holds the
palm and is likely always to hold 1t.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
The Famous Bagdad Railway.

t'Torn the Ar-sri~an Review oF Rsrcvs
1urhc! biggest and most important
railway project IS the line which. start
ing from konia- the terminus OF tho
Auatoiian Railway from Starnboul. is be
.ng carried lGN miles in 4 so-thea stc-Iv
direction l" Eussorah. at the head Of the
Persian Guf. touching on the way
AlcPpo. the metropolis OF Sy-ia, Mos.l.
EaElad. II" one-unc capital Of the
catiphs. The concession for building
The =" mills from kOnIa to EaEdad is IN
the Lands Of German company. th,.
general manager "f which. MeIssnc-
Iasfa has an enviahle record OF twcnty-
':Eht years in railway construction 1T
TWrk.v. Tho 81 miles from Ragdad t.
EuSSOrah. aS 4 consequence Of political
Jsalols!"s. will probably be PARTICIPATED
in equally by Germany. Russia. Franc
and Great iiritain. The Germans hayc d.
very liberal kilornetraCe Cuarautsc for
th"!r part Of tho line. which is being put
through at d standard gauge of the most
substantial description. There are no
great engineering problems to Ee solved
AT any point, but the expense Of trans
porting building materials and the All
SCucc Of stone baIIastiug rock in all ~
lower Mesopotamia is going to make
construction very expensive.
Tho writer recently traverSsd r.ar.v
II" entire route Of the BaCdad RAILWAY.
by caravan, finding either active CON
struCti"n or tho final surveys in progress
at AL points. Unless the Balkan war
may encourage Arab uprisings through
draining this part Of the country CF
troops. II IS very likely that the RoS-
rh0ruS and the Persian Gulf will he in
touch by rail by the beginning OF laI-.
at which time the COmpItriOn Or ryo CS
the great Mcsopotamian irrigation pro
jects will further open the way for this
ancient cradle OF civilization TO come
again TO its own
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
The "Toothachc" signal in Chile.

Drink is the curse Of Chile For
some tim" after our arrival" writes
Mrs. Hugh Fraser In Further Rcminis
rrnccs." Hugh and used I" lie prz-
zled at the prevalence Of tnothache in
the town (SantiaSol. Every day one
would sec mon in the streets. froch
coated and tophattcd, their faces almost
hidden by handkerchief tied around
their jaws-uot ono or two or occasional
". hut half n dozen at u time. and on
every day Of the week. Later "" found
nut that It was a signal and meant: Il
was drinking last night. DO not speak
to me
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
STA SMEN-REAL AND NE A
BY FRED c. KELLY

For years the St"rliuS brothers had
a great schcm. afoOt. They were go
ing to hay, themselves represented IN
both branches Of Congrcss-J"hn IN
tn, House and Thomas in the Senate.
J,br got into the House from Hi
uois. ard has been here ten years. Ana
now Thomas will II" senator from
south Dakota Eut John completely
.,,,rrmcd llr the arrangements by fail
ing TO get hims,f reelected last fall.
Tn" brothers failed to,synchr"nlZe 'heir
cIc,tiuhs-if one may Us" word en-
.ir.l.: out "f keeping with the present
riovrn.,nr tor simplicIty-and the one
...ruc in lust in time to look through
the glass in tn" revolving door and
-" the 'thcr passing out.
Tho rcw Senator Thomas y. StCrl-
ing is Just six years older than the eN-
Representative. and they have gone
through life doing almost the same
Es-siX years apart.
II Thomas taught school, studied
law. or entered politics, John was rca-
snnabIy certain to do the same thing
as soon AS he had reached the same
acC. In the matter Of reaching Con-
Crcss. however. john WAS the more
prcrC Cinus Of the two. When he en-
tered the House ten years ago. he
wir,.. his brother to get INTO the Sen
ate. Thomas had just bCCOm" dean of
the law school at III" South Dakota
State University. and did not wish to
enter the Senate just then. He sent
word to John to stick around here a
Will. and he would he along Il little
later. So John waited. He stayed on
TO-. ter years. and finally. becoming
&C mpletely eXasperated with his
brother for delaying 50 long, he made
him agree to resign his place at the
law school and make the campaign for
Senator.
The latter carried out his part of
thu exercises. but John drove into a
bunker ard lost out. lie will now
husy himself trying to get back two
wears hence to serve a term with his
brother.
Senator Sterlings first bid for fame
was when he wa" a younEster about
twelve years oil. attending country
school out in Illinois. He and the
teacher disagreed over question Of
GRAMMAR The teacher rcprimanded
him sharply. and remarked that It was
pretty fresh, not to say tmpudent. for
a mere hoy to So. himself up as know
ing ~ mach as the teacher. Young
Sterling admitted that It was II little
rular, hut justified himself on tn,
ground that his view Of the question
Of grammar corrcsponded with th"
rules laid down by .hc man who wrote
tn" book.
Tn" teacher In great wrath called !,
meeting Of tn" s"h"uI directors. They
held a session lasting far into the night
and tried to determine whether Sterling
or the teacher was right about that point
Of grammar. But-and here was the
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Cholera and Tobacco.

From HarT-rs W,.as.
For "A long TIN" II has been noted that
smokers arr relatively immune t" Ger
tain "pidrm.c sicknssscs. especially
cholera. Dr W"u"k. professor OF thr
Impcrial Institute OF Ii"rlir. has found
that by manipulating cigars I'm water
containing l.5tc,cyO cholera hacIlli per
cubic "entim"t"r tho microbes were d.
stroycd in the course Of tw"ntv-f"ur
hours. The sam" doctor has proved that
tobacco" Snl,'." rapidly kills the cholera
germ. I'm ii tobacco factory in Hamburg
not Il singh case of cholera was found
among the workers during the last great
epidemic, tho :Ch they lived in districts
most affected by the plague.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
FISHED WITH ELECTRICITY.
But stopped the Prnctic when
Warden Game Along.

tTFnl i-4ff'Tltlt'.
The fish and gam" ward,u ~ Tir ," .II."c
COUNTY. Ind. Was much cE"rclo ID during
tho lat fishing season over the iarS"
quantities ~ fsh offered by n" dealers
If Lafayette" Scin"S and nets, he felt
quite ,ur". woro not in use in his terri
torr.
S,"kins for a trrlc IN vain. hr~sudd"uIy
came on" dar ,.rou a zone fisherman s"at-
ID at tn" md Uf an !mt,rrIrhau railway
briGE". and h"s!dr III. auEl"r lay a huge
pile OF nsh From time to tim. II" fisher
man iudGIE,d In the queer proceeding Of
striking his hs..inS pole against the trol-
lcl wir-. Load tpsn cane to the surface
follow IA this artlon.
I,ycsjigaiiuu showed that an Insulated
wirc ran d"wH the nshGolc AID dIpp"!
int" tn" water under tn bridge. IT," JJy-
Nuit contact Win tie tro.l'v s'rE,d to
,l,.rtro,Ity all t.-h near IL" wire.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
THE suFFRAGErrE METHOD

IF, you would redress wrong;
10 i hike:
With your comrades plod along
Down the pike:
Also make. your pace as strong
As "ou like.
If yon'i give the foe Jar,
Do 4 hike.
Do not use Il motor chr
Or a bike.
Just perambulate afar
Down the pike.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Ningarn Falls Stories.

From tho london Chronicle
James Russell Lowclrs remark that
Niagara Falls had nothing else to do may
remind us Of the delightful Irishman,
who, called upon to he impressed by his
first view Of "alI that water coming
down such height" replied. "Why
wouldn't it," But the best of recent
Niagara stories is told III the last Arco-
naut, 1t is of the housewife who saw
the falls for the first time. ''ohT' she
cried. thai reminds mel left the kitch-
Ell tap running"
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Making Room for All.

From the Cleveland l'lau Dealer.
An Irish conductor uu the Payne Ave-
nue. line. WAS trying To make room for
more passengers In his ear during tho
rush hour th" other night. As reported
by a more or less truthful witness. this
is hat h.' said:
"NiiI thin in front pazr move I'M -
that thin behind cn take tn places uv
Thin i'll front an lave room fP thin
that's neither i'll front nor hehIuAr'
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
4 >afcf, Razor Joke.

F-ra the W,str.l.-,i.r 'aD';c
IN" lat" August" Van IH"n" had =
ukIur fer IrIrtI"tl jokes. aud II was
perhaps ",il, I'"'.'lr iust!"" that he came
mt" t'.y crhit Of t.At prince OF practical
,"h'rs. J l.. T""I, In" actor Lad np-
r,,rrutlv concIy,d an extraordinary Graz.
crr distributing safety razur~ broadcast
amuus his friends and, meeting the
c,Il-i. promptly hrEE"d his ncccptauc,
Il one. Nan ld'II.' II knowledGcd th'
gIrt With thHuks. hut when he next u,'r
Tuolr tn" Il""rtt"d condition uf his chin
Mas poor testimony to the 'sdtCty'' al
liz razor. T"".c Eravcly asked to see
Tn" r.IZ"r. Dear me lie then said
And yuu actually trl.d t. shave your
>,If with that, Why. forgot t" scud
NuI the h'id,s.''
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Wight Find Some.

Tn. cc.-t ~ tn" i;rcslt aux nr" worth
u fh"uslud dollars each. The bird is
"xtirct, iut Its cggB tot W "cCnsion-
all"
''Im. think I'll i've nv cold atoragc
plant . thorough "v'rhIUl.rg"
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
March y In History.

March .. 1gn-Wiliarn Ehakespcaro
buys u s"cOnd hand typewriter and
learns to write with on" finger.
March 9. I5-G-Olivrr Goldsmith gets n
checs, sandwich hy parrcl post. i
c.ru. ia handy. too.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
4. Gentleman Farmer.

81 hoar wornbat is gentleman
farmer now."
Right ~ ia the notch. too. Puts
evening drcs, on all his hearecruws
every dny rt dusk
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
All n 4 R.t:unts To.

'1f you don't do your work better"
said the ieds Of the house. II shali dis-
charge rou Immediately"
II wouldn't dare say that Ia my
cook" remarked q visitor:
well. dare sar II 10 min. and
frequently. toe. sIIcss I've said that
every day for n year
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Not n Battle.

"a little m"rr E-apc.' "rGercd tho
general
Sorry. GcucrHl." responded the order
~. but tn, wine is ull gone
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
The fnrrins Fever.

feel ike Iunkin9 garden now
IN clear away the trnsh
Prepare tho toil with hoe ana plpw
And BOW como suCcUtlsh.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09

And yet the President must he aware
that it also is essential to keep his po-
litcal organization together. He has
already discovered that men who be
lieved themselves deserving of high rec
ognition are diseruntled because they
have been ignored, lie has already
been told that it will take an infinite
amount Of tact ia hold together the
narrow majority in the Senate, and he
will eventually learn that all is not
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
Al she Had.

'CglIl you give the inquired thu,
pour woman. "a easton dress Of r"ur
little Girls for my little slri. or pair
Of your little h",'s Shoes f.r my little
borr''
rich woman. "u"r any little boy. but
I can give you one If my little dog s
cnstoT collars for your little dog"
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
In the Spring.

You may talk about your best sellers;
but there Is ne reading matter so fas-
einatins as thl,keit literature.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-09

\ weeks incumbcn,y ii the rrcsi-
DENTAL office las rot solved the Vii
eoni4n enigma.
The inaugural address &C; tho poll
ticians guessing. They have not yet
recovered They do not know whether
t3cv have to deal with i thcori,t and a
dreamer or whether behind the idyllic
phrases there is 4 determination to
actually bring about a new order OF
things. They arc wondering ii the
President is going to get down TO earth
and be practical or whether he i, go
ing to walk with his head among the
clouds. They arc simply awaiting dc
vclopmcnts. NJ thc present time not
ono Of them knows exactly what will
happen. They hope. il the truth bc
known. that President Wil,on will
prove himself to be L unique individual
who can hold aloft the torch OF reform
i'll one hand and with the other extend
hearty welcome to the man who
views every phase Of the political stu
alton with partisan eyes. If he can do
this successfully he will. in their opin-
ion, become the eighth wonder Of the
world
There is a suspicion in some minds
tb,t President Wilson rco,rIs ,I,c
average politician rs a creature who has
uutlivcd his usefulness. There is A
belief that he thinks there is more to
be gained by playing polite, upon 4
larger scalc-by appealing. in fact to
the whole people irrespective OF their
party affiliations. There has been suci,
change in the times that this point
of view. if it be entertained by him,
may be correct Our government has
always been, however. a government bv
parties. and the men who have regarded
themselves as greater than their party
have come TO grief. History docs not,
OF course, always repeat itself, and it
may be that Mr.. Wilson, who docs not
seem to have much regard for prccc-
dent. may be able to successfully shat
ter all tradition. The experiment will,
at least. be an interesting one. and Ger
tainly there never was a time so ia
vorable for its undertaking.