The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1913-04-25
IN THE WO0LSACK
How Jones Of Nebraska Wore
Out the Lord Chancellor
of England.
By PERCY KEBLE.


been Lady Elizabeth Blount.
"At this very instant am in con-
Tempt of court he said, and she who
mad been Lady Elizabeth whispered
back:
Wouldn't you like to be in con-
tempt again. Lionel?"
Mr.. Jones duly complied And lest
the susceptibilities be shocked, let It
be said that they, had been married
ten minutes before in the Office Of the
registrar, Strand, London, England.
"Oh, dear!" sighed Mrs. Jones, IF
only Reggie could guess how happy
we are, I'm sure he would relent and
let you marry me-"
but l have married you, darling. :"
said Mr.. Jones'
yes, but Reggie can clap you into
prison for it until I'm twenty-one,ian
that won't be for fully two years. Or
else until the government goes out
of Office. And Reggie says they're
so popular over this new law for the
free feeding of tramps that they're
sure to remain in Office that long"
Reggie" was none other than the
earl Of Masterton. lord chancellor Of
England. Lord Masterton, upon the
w0olsack, In full bottomed wig, pre-
sided over the august debates of the
house Of lords, was a very imposing
parsonage indeed. AS lord chancel-
lor of England, keeper Of the seal and
OF his majesty's conscience, he was
an integral portion of that fine old
institution, the British Constitution.
But Lord Masterton, in private life,
was a stout, jolly old gentleman. with
q renchant for punch. And the Brit
ish Constitution had made him Lady
Elizabeth's guardian.
Because Lady Elizabeth's parents
had both died and the most diligent
search had failed to discover anything
resembling will. Wherefore, her
property, being large, the lord chan
cellor had become her natural guard
ian until she attained her majority. or
q new government brought into Office
q new lord chancellor And it was
quite certain that Lord Masterton
would send to prison any American
salesman of agricultural implements,
haling from Nebraska, and calling
himself Jones, who presumed to marry
his guarded and circumscribed treas
ure, Lady Elizabeth, before she attain
ed her minority.
I'm going straight to the house of
lords and let him." said Mr.. Jones.
No, dearest" pleaded his newly
mado wife. Leave it to me. I'll find
a way. You know Reggie is very
fond Of me. The thing to do is to
break It gently"
But did break my Intentions gem
tly," said Mr.. Jones despondently. Il
stopped his cab and got in aad told
him who was and what wanted.
And he threatened to call police
man"
In fact, Mr.. Jones had not been
very tactful on that occasion. He
had met Lady Elizabeth at fancy
dress ball to which he had somehow
obtained a ticket, had fallen head over
ears in love with her, and met her in
the park next day, proposed on the
third meeting, and was accepted on
the fourth. And then he had tried a
short cut to success. He stopped Lord
Masterton's cab in crowded street,
and the conversation that ensued was
something like this:
The Lord Chancellor (waking out Of
q snooze-"E er-um-as your lordship
was saying with reference to this
measure before this house er-hello!
Why, bless me, who the deuce are
your"
Mr.. Lionel Jones-"Sorry to be SO
unceremonious, lord. My names
Jones of Fairfield. Neb., very good
family, staunch Presbyterians,
don't drink, or chew, smoke In mod
Grafton. love your ward, Lady Eliza
beth. want to marry her."
The Lord Chancellor Help! Help!
There's crazy man in the cab!"
exit Mr.. Jones at a rum
Il know it's hard, dearest sighed
Mrs. Jones. But we've got to part.
There's no help for it. But I'll get
the opportunity within day or two.
and then wen be happy all our lives.''
On the ext morning ne received a
letter from MS bride.
II don't know what tc do. dearest. .
It ran. Il have spoken to Reggie,
and he absolutely decline to let us
get married or to have anything to
do with YOU"
= low and sa. aothing If you see
me-" Mr.. Jones wrots back. "Pm go.
ing to wear him out. haven't sold
agricultural implements 1--WE years for
nothing"
Parliament adjourned the following
week and Lord Masterton went to
Scotland to shoot grouse. If there
was one thing he prided himself upon.
It was his marksmanship. but he was
getting old and lethargic. he sadly
admitted. and he was not so quick as
be once had been. In brief. hav.
Ing ensconced himself behind his butt.
be placed his gum by his side and
settled himself for a snooze.