The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-06-29
TAX ASSESSOR
WHO DOES NOT
KNOW MELONS
SANTA ROSA OFFICIAL RAISES
CITRONS UNDER THE BELIEF
TINT HE HAD A FINE PATCH OF
WATERMELONs
SPECIAL TO THE JOURNAL

SPECIAL TO THE JOURNAL.
| Mulat, June 28.-Pat Robinson j
the tax assessor of Santa Rosa county
He lives on his farm about tire
miles from Mulat. He used to Iiv
mere, where he was foreman of tn
Otis sawmill for many years. Every
| body at Mulat likes Pat, and indeet
. lie IS very popular all over the county
Pat enjoys hugely, any joke or laugh
able story on his friends that he hears
and he never fails to guy them whe1
ne meets them about the affair, al
ways adding some funny feature t.
| the story
About two months ago at Otis:
store in Mulat, while Pat was hers
on his rounds, he was Boosting o.
what fine crops he was going to raise
on his farm this season. He Dragged
especially. about his coming melon
| crop.
| Boys said Pat, I'm raising the
finest crop of melons you ever saw
l have an acre in watermelons and I'll
have melons to throw at the birds:
They'll be ripe about the middle of
June and when any of you fellows
want any watermelons, come out to
your Uncle Pats and fill up your
buggy. I'm just raising them for my
friends and they shall not pay me a
cent for them
Accordingly last Sunday two Mulat
citizens drove out to Pats farm, to
get a load of melons. In due time
they arrived at their destination and
found Pat sitting on his front gal
lery.
Get down boys and hitch. TIL have
your horse taken out and fed" said
Robinson.
NO" said Mr.. Lewis, I'VE have
come out, Pat, just to get few mel
ons and are going right back"
Well" said Pat, bring along your
sacks to put them in, and we'll 30
to the patch"
+ In walking to the field Pat said:
See here fellows. these melons thump
ripe, but to tell you the truth, they
don't taste ripe. I cut one a few days
ago and blamed II I didn't throw the
whole shooting match up. 1t made me
SO sick. Maybe I got hold of a bad
one"
When they got to the field, Pat
pulled a large melon and cutting it
in half handed one piece to Lewis and
the other to Howell saying: Wade
in boys" When the boys" had each
they spit out the pulp in disgust.
Great Scott!" said John Howell
these are NOT watermelons, Pat; they
are nothing but citrons, or what we
call pie melons"
The dickens they are" said Pat:
well I'll pull up the who'-. business
there's a whole acre Of the blamed
things
r.au;soar-nuse citrons or pie melons.
g lit for nothing but to cook up to |
1ut in pastries and desserts
Well, I'll be John Drowned" said |
Pat, 'if that don't beat me. Bill Boni- |
ay give me them seed, said he got |
hem in South Florida, and that the
Melons were the finest on earth; and
hat fn est would EfTrnIv
fellows hair curl"
Eyes, I wouldn't be surprised IF II
made his hair all fall out sid Lewis.
Well come on John, let's get back
rom Otis.
80, no. said Pat. you must stay to
inner; I'm going to have chicken,
reen corn, and squashes." II
We are afraid to risk 1t Pat said | |
lowell; FOR your squashes Nigh turn |
ut to be gourds. Come to Mulat, Pat
nd get some sure enough W.ter-
lelons." II
The two left, much chagrtned at II
leir drive for nothing. Late TuesayU
II. Robinson came to Mulat and 1T II
,e store the boys. guyed Pat unmerc- II
lily about his melon crop. III
Now, Pat" said Sim Otis, I'm sor-l
: you don't know real watermelon. |
ere are genuine watermelons lying |
ere Take this 35 cent one and sit |
ght here on this box and fill up. It II
lall cost you nothing" II
ct don't feel like eating this fine
elon and none of your fellows take
n.y." said Pat. II
That's all right Pat" said Sim;
he boys have been eating melons for
70 weeks and they don't want any
DIV. They have been eating genuine
atermelons, Pat; not citrons or
ourds like you raise"
After Pat had eaten the melon and
sclared 1t fine, Sim said to him:
Here Pat, take this big melon and
AIRY 1t home to your wife and chill
rem and let them find out the differ
lelon- Pat you are a fine tax assessor
nd an an-around good fellow, but
ou don't know any more about rails
g melons than a rabbit
I certainly am much obliged to
ou for these melons, Sim, but blame
i'll Bombay for my trouble-telIing
e the seed was from the peninsula
Id would produce the finest melons
earth. Well. I'll get even with Bill
onifay for this joke, if it takes me q
ear. I'll lay awake Of nights think I
6 up some prank to put the kibosh J
| Bill for his trick. And another
ing is. I'm going to fill up my buggy
it'll rocks and in going around the
unity assessing, every fellow will get Fl
rock. that yells out, asking me about !,
y melon crop" said Pat. tn
NO, that won't do Pat" said Sin, TO
It me advise YOU In going over tht
'unty assessing. tell this joke IN
urseR and make it tough You WI he
us kill the effects Of 1t; but II VI w
lit until next election. and the 81
VS. over the county, hear about it, m
en- they will guy you SO about the to
m, that you will have to qui. the
nvass."
Il reckon you are right sa1 Pat
wing off; but if you fellows will
up on me about the matter,
omise to come over here on the 4th 10
d treat everybody-thst is all but
II Bombay" =
II Pat should come TO Pensacola,
ease say nothing to him about
termelons.
Children that are affected by worms