New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-17
AS ! WAS SAYING

Oh. mad mad world No sooner has Or Hardy
pronounced miliiancy a madness akin 10 the dane
ing mania Of the fourteenth century" Gapsus lngue
for "twcnticth'J than news arrives from the Mad
Mullah Of mad mad. mad somnliland. who has burst
from his cell with hmp Of yell and walioped his
British superiors.
Much against his nclina,ons. doubtless and
tainly against theirs. They hate 70 impeach him.
though realizing that Mrs Lieutenant Mullah will be
an ornament to the newspapers.
So the British are explaining. and the case stands
thus AS the Tommics at Alden have terrible appe-
tites but cannot eat rocks. the British have made
I'D 10 tho farmers on the African side ~ the Red
Sea Induced them 10 feed Alden, and, in return
agreed 10 protect them against gunner from upstate
This is where the Mullah came n-ony too fire.
quently.
Known in tho desert as Lcfte Abdul. he IS a cole
brated gunman md the British have cautioned him
more than once. Last time they all but got him.
and he was reported TO have cashed in his checks
But now 1t appears that Mrs Muah did IL
So there you are. Despite high crimes and msde-
meanors" he holds the fort and who IS governor Il
not Lcftie Abdul?
We fear it will so hard with Lcftie. Our advice .
him is: Move to Albany, il that sounds need
lessy ferocious, to Mexico.
q 1t was a glorious medical camp meeting they mad
In London and We hear that boys showed up
erandly. Especially the Ohio surgeon who took the
camp by storm with his flbuster on shock.
Shock has slain its thousands and tens Of thou
sands but is tanned at last In the operation Of
tunneing alone-not to mention cerebractomy. car
diac electrolysis and dredging has been amazingly
reduced and scientists attribute the triumph to tho
improved surgical explosives
Now II cuts us TO the heart to dampen the ardor
OF science yet we see a rather different explanation
May not our increased resistance to shock be due
to the fashions of 1913?
Many priceless life they have saved yet we do
not love them. Indeed we doubt If they care to be
loved. AS a writer in The Oily Mile" apty OBJ
serves. Fashion, hayward she is. remains
slant to one thng-an ngrained hatred Of popular
ity"
And at present she works us harm. Ask the ocu-
lists Never since the foundation of the world have
they treated 50 many cases of eye strain.
How times have changed We are still pretty
frlsky, yet remember the quaint old days when
comments clothes headed "Of Interest to
Women" Now--but we blush for our debauched
sex and refrain.
Dreadful. \ commercial traveller has gone and
got drunk beef tea. II 1t had been curate or an
infant or a Secretary OF State We could bear up
But travelling HdH-uedT. GEAR! 30 alarming,
For previously pointed out in this column, one
swallow doesn't make a drummer
1t is thoughtful Of the French and the Germans
to draft a treaty governing air traffic but things
were going very well already. Years have passed
since a baoonst came down in a Belgian village
through no fault Of his own got scared when the
burghers caught hold of the guide ropes and in
his excitement pulled the ripping cord Naturally,
out rushed the gas.
This happened outside Mynheer Van Boomers cot
tage and Mynheer in open window, light
ing his pipe Up went cottage. pipe and Mynheer
all In beautiful blaze.
True there was no treaty in those days nor any
legal standards regarding air traffic: vet didn't the
courts manage nobly? With sapience worthy the
Mynheer. II l. "a