New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-07
AS | WAS SAYING

Seventeen consecutive mothers-in-law IN seven
teen consecutive Jokes in seventeen consecutive
minutes, Great Caesar. IT is enough to chill one q
passion for newspapers. as they are sad sad Jokes
all seventeen Of them. mother-in-iaw is not
funny afterward she is only funny beforehand
In France where they do so many things heauF'
this is understood Listen,
Young Raoul had gone down on his knees TO
Madame the Widow Lemoine and begged leave 10
marry himself with her daughter.
But no. said the widow, firmly. 1T is too
strong"
Desolated Rsoul burst into tears.
Don't take il so hard. gosse" said She
The petite Yvonne is exquisite. she is rsvishins'
yet there are many others in the France. little
OF patience"
But Madame, my dear Madame" ho"led Raou.
cit is YOU that | regret"
II says in big letters that Americas Mail order
Wizard will teach you to make money quickly
legitrnatey. cleanly honestly" one Of which adj
verbs is downright attractive
Empty is the pulpit mp at our church, SO We are
ENJOYING candidates. and nave already struck out
nine or should we say struck OUT The latest
victim declares he reminds himself Of the African
dodger Hit the Niger in the head once get Il
good cigar hit him in the head twice, get TWO
cigars: hit him in the head three times, get hair
q dollar" Great sport and yet aside from ad-
vancing humility among clergymen We cannot see
that this boosts the progress OF true piety one
single blessed millmeter.
Here's to Miss Inez Milhoand. Nice girl Good
to look at. But why frequent?
Sorry the Harvard Phi Beta Kappa beat the edi-
tors Of the Harvard Lampoon' at baseball since
fun is superior to scholarship. Fun presupposes
whole man. sane in mind and body. When the
house takes fire and the bank goes up. and the
dog runs away. and that tired feeling steals over
YOU your scholarship is severe as ever. but we
defy YOU 10 see a Joke. This. however must not
be interpreted as final and fatal slap at the Phi
Reta Kappa Dear. dear. no,
when youth Is gone and moneys spent,
Then learning Is most excellent"
Besides. by that time man has heard all tho
Jokes. This is why old age Ia commonly so dismal
II appears that the Chevalier Andre de Fouquieres
was faithful in his attendance at the trotteries'
where he saw "austere magistrates and ustrious
professors from the universities melt into reckless
ness under the influence OF that wonderful dance
Which Is one on the Chevslier Andre de Fouquieres!
Wish we could say the same of his discovery that
all our novels written for the young GIRL but IL
&c TOO obviously and too shockingly the other way
about.
"Punch'.' Balkan expert is quite right. Every
ching seems TO point To the outbreak OF sangui-
nary peace
Think Of President discussing "woodnotes Wild
sunp unpremeditatedy and out OF the heart
Happv White House, to shelter so polished, SO
graceful 50 engaging man Of letters! And praise
from us is praise indeed for this concerning wood
notes occurs in Mere Literature where the Presi-
dent is telling what II is that gives the literary
oualtv to a piece Of writing, and we know heaps
and heaps about that having received instruction
from no less a genius than the renowned Commo-
dore Rockingchar. He 1t was who introduced HIM
coli o.. we sat on the banks OF the ONO, waiting
Tor IN. boat TO come Literature" quoth he. rs
when the thoughts and the words runs along
parallel"
with a humble and contrite heart we have read
,hose two alarming ESSAYS In the Atlantic on
how tn he happy though speaking English, whch
= ,mnossible Fault az the language! Incorrect
.or are q barbarian correct you are donkey
pxauple: "Ain't u" as over against Am not /!
wanted: A bright. competent. sober vocable to do
Tho work Of "Amnt" Address r. L. II.