davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-04-17
Card Of Thanks.

We desire to thank all kind neigh
bors and friends, and the Epworth
League, for so kindly assisting us dur
ing the sickness and death Of our
mother, Mrs. Conant, Your sympathy
was needed and appreciated. A F.
Drake and wife.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-04-17
Ross Evangelical Church.

Sunday school next Sunday at 200 p.
M. and preaching at 800 p. M, also
preaching in the evening ut 1880 p. m.
A cordial welcome to ell. a
D. Mehnert, Pastor.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Master of Ant Eloquence.

The address of President Wilson al
Gettysburg sustains the reputation,
which by this time he has fairly won,
for being eloquent and master OF
phrase. Still no matter how appealing
the form of his speech, it should not
make the readers forget the felicity
and moving quality of its substance
Mr.. Wilson showed great tact in
avoiding any comparison with the
words of the great Lincoln. Also he
steered clear of discoursing specific is
sues of the politics of the moment. His
words show that he felt deeply and his
judgment was sound when he tried to
bring out a summons to high patriotic
endeavor which the memories of the
occasion were so very fit to inspire.
In short, it was not the devices of
the sl,illfulsorator, but the sincere pur-
pose of the first servant of the nation
that found utterance on the hallowed
field of Gettysburg, and this is the true
reason for the praise which Mr.. Will
sons address is receiving everywhere,
now that all have had ample time to
study and to digest the speech.
1t was delicate ordeal which he
had to face on the spot where Ameri-
cans paid so dearly for their section
alism, but he did not shrink from it.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

the hundreds Of thousands Of undesir-
ables that are such q fertile field for
the Ettors. the Giovanottis. and other
such irresponsible agitators to work
upon.
The answer is sometimes urged that
this is the haven Of all oppressed and
the poor peoples of every land. But 1t
10 not and never has been. 1t was the
select few that came as colonists and
settlers. and from the very FIRST of CO.
lonlal days they excluded and rejected
those they did not think were har-
monious spirits. Later the African slave
trade was prohibited after the fashion
somewhat of locking an empty barn. We
have absolutely shut out the Chinese
and supposedly the japanese.
Then, too, that those now coming con-
slider this merely q field for exploitation
Is shown by the large number Of them
that go back each year-from 10000 to
100000. That they do not return here
again is shown by the fact that less
than 10 Der cent coming any year have
ever been here before. During the last
four years over 100000 aliens have en-
tered. and yet only 10000 aliens during
those four years have been naturalized.
Out of over l,oOa,oo0 last year only 1000
were farmers" while We lost. more
than 1880 good American farmers to
Canada alone. We need good restrictive
laws such as Canada, Australia, Cape
Colony, and other new countries have
J. d. MASON
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
The Same Old johannesburg.

johannesburg always has been a
storm center. As late as the year 1886
before the discovery that the quartz
underlying its site, was rich with gold,
the place was a hamlet practically un-
named. Within a year of the discov.
cry of the precious metal by Johannes
Rissik, surveyor general of the Trans
wal, after whom the mining camp of
some 5000 pioneers with pick and
shovel was named, the place began to
grow so rapidly and the output, owing
to machinery and capitalistic organize
ton, increased so enormously that
soon one-half of the normal gold
production of the Rand" Gas the
Beers call their country was mined
within the city limits of johannesburg,
which today contains a population of
100000, half of whom are Europeans
or Afrikanders (persons born in Africa
of European parentage). About 10000
are Zulu Kafirs and Hottentots, who
help to work the mines.
The ways of johannesburg never
have been those of peace. War, riot,
and conflict with the British government
over the admission of the Hindoos
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
GETTING THE NEWS
By FRED c. KELLY

On the day after Hastings MacAdam Ar
rived in Washington. some years ago. to
be representative of the st. Louis Repub-
lie. he received 4 telegram from his Of
nee asking him to get certain informa-
ton from the British Ambassador.
Now. IL MacAdam had been less new
to the ways of oficiai Washington. he
would have been more exercised over the
telegram than he was For seeing the
British Ambassador in those days was a
difficult job. One had to call at the EN-
bassy, sit around and await the pleas
ure of some assistant secretary, through
him make an appointment with the Am
bassador, and-if the Ambassador had
nothing else to do-finaily one got to the
Ambassador. This process might occupy
q week.
But MacAdam wist not of such dim
culties. The most logical way be knew
to talk to an ambassador was the same
way he would talk to his green grocer
simply call him up by telephone and en-
gage him in conversation. Nothins
could be easier.
He picked up the telephone book.
looked through the BIS until he came to
British Embassy. and called EN- up.
want to speak to the Ambassador"
he said. jauntily.
And who Is this?" he was asked.
Mr.. MacAdam, of the St. Louis Re-
public"
Now that word Republic" seemed TO
act like a verbal can opener. The man
on the phone at once assumed a tone OF
almost -obsequious poliveness and In a
couple of seconds a person with a deep
voice that could belong only to an Am
bassador was saying:
Yes, this is Sir Mortimer Durand.
What is II, john
I'm not John" said MacAdam, some
what nettled, for no one likes to be
called by another name. I'm Mr.. Mac
Adam of the ST. Louis Republic
well. what do you want. john" roared
the Ambassador, who seemed to be hard
Of hearing.
VERY WELL" thought MacAdam, '-if
you're determined to call me John. you
Just perfectly can. and see II care"
He went aheard to PROFOUND his ques-
ton.
II should like to know" said he, IF
the British government intends to try
to stop the mimic Boer war being ex-
hibited at the 81. Louis Exposition"
mo, 1t has been decided to say nothing
about it" replied the Ambassador. But
why do you ask. john
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
NEW NEW YORK HORROR.
II the Water Tu1pel Bursts j.
Would Flood the subway,

would Flood the subway.
From the Cincinnati Ti1nes-stn,
Probably the story is based merely
upon the hysterical imagination Of one
OF these chaps who Is always discoverins
some new terror in metropolitan life, but
IL Is now told US that the most dreadful
accident ever known will be a possibility
as soon as the water has been turned into
the new tunnel which will carry the
city's supply from the Catskill Noun
tains. The water tunnel, which runs I'M
der New York. ranks next To the Panama
Canal among the tremendous engineering
projects Of the world.
At a depth-of from 30 to 100 feet, II
carries. river equal in size to the Lick
ing at its ordinary stage, confined under
very considerable pressure. At several
points the water tunnel approaches close
ly to the subway. The theory Of the new
alarmist Is that an explosion. a slight
earthquake shock, or some other unfor-
seen cause impossible to guard against,
might shatter the dividing wall between
the submerged river and the subway, In
which event crowded subway trains would
be submerged before the Passengers
would have the slightest chance to es-
cape. I don't think this report will les
sen travel on the subway. It's pretty
hand to scare New York Some years ago
most Of the newspapers shrieked for
week that the Brooklyn Bridge was
about to fall down, and travel over II was
not diminished in the least, except for
three hours at the beginning Of the scare,
during which the police fought back
thousands of persons woh were trying
to cross. However, a noted engineer to
whom the theory Of the possibility Of .
subway flood from the water tunnel was
submitted. would say only: such
thing is highly improbable. It il not at
all impossible"
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
FALL RIVER, MASS.
ny GEORGE FITCH,
Author Of CAT Good Ola siwash.s

vians. Bulgarians, and Greeks to start a
Balkan war on every street corner on
Saturday night. It also has a number of
fne old Yankees in q good state of
preservation. The river divides the city
into two equal parts and the city hall
is built over the river in the interest
of peace and harmony
Fall River Is prouder Of its cotton mills
than are some Massachusetts, cities, and
boasts Of the fact that II has 10000 corpo-
ration stockholders. The one room tene-
ment doesn't flourish in Fail River 1t Ia
being eradicated along with the ny and
other germ-breeds, and II il q Fail River
ambition to have every. citizen own q
house and be able to recite the Declara-
ton Of Independence in English. Fall
River had its big strike in 1906 and learned
its lesson early.
FAN River Ii one Of the few cities which
has annexed part Of a State in order to
increase its size. Originally the city
spread over into Rhode Island. but In the
eos slice Of that State was annexed to
Massachusetts, for the sake of swelling
Fall Rivers census returns. II Kansas
City knew how this trick was done she
would now have $4,000 inhabitants. while
Kansas City, Kans., would have saloons.
Fall River has produced few great men.
but 10 turning out ordinary citizens with
great industry. Its birth rate Is the high
est in the country, and its naturalization
courts work nights before elections.
Copyright. rl,. b. Georse Mathew AdanAl
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

which had been imported As cheap IA
Dor. "White" miners succeeded in ex-
pelling Chinese coolies. but they had to
put up with the natives, who are kept
closely guarded in compounds"
With such 4 racial mixture it Is evil
dent that the least friction between
capital and labor-not the least OF
which the question of the @open" shops,
and the unions-generated riots. So
Johannesburg had few days of Its
own reign Of terror; fighting in. its
streets and smashing of the houses Of
the well-to-do, simply because they
were well-to-do. But when the rioting
miners threatened to unlock the COM
pounds, the military took hand, but
gained the upper hand only after
strenuous fighting and bloodshed. As
it was, the South African metropolis"
may consider itself lucky that some
$4,000 British regulars" were on hand
to back the oonstabulay. Only very
recently the English war Office de-
clined to withdraw the imperial troops
from South Africa and to turn their
duties over to citizen army" despite
the urgent demand of the colonial au-
thorities.
The johannesburg riots easily may
be given a political effect. The liberal
coalition which now holds the reins of
the British government is rather defer
entail to labor tits normal majority in
the Commons is 100 votes, forty of
which is from Laborites). The gov
ernor general, Viscount Gladstone, is
popular neither at home nor in South
Africa. He has acted fully in the in
terest of peace and order, but his coun-
cilors, for the most part, are Afrikan-
ders, who regard him as the representa-
tive of the conquerors.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Indeed. sir, I have been trying to tsii
you that I'm not JOHN said MacAdam,
assuming a more conciliatory tone, now
mat he had the answer to his question.
Still the ambassador could not under
stand and thought he was John somebody.
80 MacAdam gave II up, and the con-
versation ended.
There. had been a lot of rumors in
81 Iouis about possible international
computations over the mimic Boer war.
ana MacAdam's story-which proved TO
De e1ciusive-setting forth that the Brit
ish ambassador In q personal statement
mad denied his intention of interfering
occupied a prominent position on the
nrst page Of MacAdanfs paper the next
morning. MacAdam's boss knew then
than ne had made no mistake in his
selectiop OF a man for the important
post OF correspondent at the national
capital 1t wasn't everybody, he felt
sure. who could win an ambassador's
confidence and gain an exclusive state
ment from him like that within q day
after striking town.
Also. the correspondents for the other
ST. Louis papers hunted MacAdam up
to offer congratulations. He supposed
they were making sport of him. Ger
anything brilliant he had done in get
ting the story.
How did you manage to get the AM
bassador to see your" asked ono Of the
opposition correspondents.
why. simply called him on the
phone" replied MacAdam.
'On the phone"' echoed the whole
bunch.
Sure" said MacAdam, Il didn't know
where the bloomin' embassy ofices were.
and besides. I was busy. and that's what
phones are for, as I look at II. so
just called the man up"
But he never talked to q newspaper
man on the phone before in his life.
Didn't YOU have some pull with him?"
IF you mean do We belong to the
same lodge or something like that, no."
replied MacAdam.
He didn't even get my name right
kept calling me John"
Then he told the circumstances in full.
IT have IT," said one correspondent.
when the fellow told him II was some
body representing the Republic. the old
man thought IL was the State Depart
ment-the republic. that is. the United
States. you know. Do you know who
he thought you were? why he thought
you were John Hay"
And II was even 20.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

The name of David Lamar has been
in the newspapers before the present
investigation, and there is nothing in
his disclosures that surprises. But Ed
ward Lauterbach has been prominent
in law and politics for years in New
York and must be judged by higher
standards than those applied to La
mar. When he admits that my state
pent was falsehood and an exaggera-
tion," when he says that sit all runs
back to Lamar" the great man" of
the interests is making a pitiable ex-
hibition of himself
After his exposure the public will
be satisfied that the late ]. Pierpont
Morgan had abundant reason for drop
ping Lauterbach from his business
transactions. In fact, Lauterbach's &C
knowledged former friendship with La
mar in itself would have been sufficient
for dropping him not only profession
ally, but socially as well.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Sound Currency Bill Advice.

We fully agree with the opinion Of
the New York Sun that, to be eftec'
tive, criticism of the administration
- currency bill must take the form OF
constructive suggestion. The Sur
agrees as follows:
Until inordinate political contro
amounting to management OF the
banking system was injected into the
measure it promised improved imam
cial machinery well adapted to the
volume and diversity of American
} trade and industrial interests. Re
garded as a working basis for confer
ence and discussion leading to wise
amendment, it is encouraging in spite
of some present Objectionable aspects.
The Sun points out the defects OF
the bill There is not one that can
not be remedied easily. The impor-
tant thing is that those who discuss
this problem should keep their minds
open and show, as far as possible, a
reasonable spirit
The Sun is right in saying of the bill
that, regarded as working basis for
conference and discussion, it is en-
couraging in spite OF some objection
able aspects" We have something
definite to discuss. Ever the differ
ences of opinion as to Federal control
of the banks, serious though they are,
might conceivably be reoonciled. 1t is
possible, for instance, to have control
and regulation without management.
1t may be found advisable to increase
the size of the Federal Reserve Board
and to permit the additional members
to be chosen by the banks. Perhaps
the functions and powers of the board
could be somewhat curtailed so as to
meet to some extent the objection that
grows out of the fear of political
banking.
1t is not proposed to jam the bill
through in its present form. The
whole subject is to be considered by
committees of both Houses, and then
BY the Houses themselves No man in
the country is more interested in get
ting through the right sort of bill than
the President, for the responsibility
for failure, as we'll as the credit for
success, will be his very largely.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
HOW TO BE HAPPY.
From the Detroit News.

From the Detroit News
Under the caption. Notice TO Mil
lionaires." an earnest Englishman ha,
been advertising extensively in the
British press for a wealthy man who
will give him 5000. 900 for two years
with a view to establishing the truth
or falsity Of the burden of wealth"
idea which has been carefully cult
waited in the popular mind at all times,
whether under the Roman oligarchy
or the modern oligrachies Of Europe.
The advertisement. which is not I'M
like George Bernard Shaw in point of
originality. read in part:
ITO millionaries only: 1t has con-
stantly been stated In the press that
many multimillionaires have expressed
views to the effect that their great
wealth il a burden to them; that
wealth does not bring happiness, and
that, in short, they would rather be
without it. The advertiser, q gentle
man whose occupation has precluded
him from making money, but who
would know how to use 1t sensibly
and unostentatiously in a manner be-
hitting the responsibilities Of wealth.
invites some dissatisfied multimillion-
aire to present him with 100000 in
order to prove the fallacy Of the bur-
den Of wealth. r...
THE advertiser undertakes to keep
a daily record Of his life as a multi
and to submit the record
at the end Of two years to q commit
tee Of business men for their opinion
as to the success of the venture"
The advertiser announces that SO
far no wealthy man has come for
ward. But he ought to be well enough
with the result, inasmuch as
he could not well have stronger proof
that "the burden of wealth" 30 far from
driving its possessors to suicide. has
not precipitated them upon his breast
In fearful solicitation. The whole mat
ter il precisely a. ridiculous AZ 10 the
notion that the very wealthy are un-
hapuY. 80
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Would Increase DOG Tax.

To the Editor: In your editorial Tues.
day morning urging the enforcement OF
muzzling dogs voice many when say
we ape glad one paper has started a cru
sade against such a danger. and hope
you will add more good by agitating the
question OF increasing the dog tax. i,
has always puzzled me why the District
Will license. person only s. to keer
such a nuisance. I certainly think the
tax should be nothing less than S.
trust you will, through your valuable
paper. do something to eliminate this
dangerous animal. SUBSCRIBER.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

shouted

Drive like the dickens" shouted
Smith, springing into a taxi.
With a lurch the car went forward
and away they went like lightning
through the gathering fog.
People shouted. constables impotently
held up their hands as the taxi dashed
up one street and down another, taking
corners on two wheels and threatening
destruction on every hand.
At last. after half an hours furious
racing. they slowed up and Smith poked
his head out Of the car.
Are We nearly there" he asked,
breathlessly.
The chauffeur turned in his seat and
shouted:
Where do you want to 60 sir? You
have not told me yet"
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Investigators have found that a great
many New York children play by Just
standing around" That is the way many
men work.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

1t is a good idea to take a vacation
every now and then-if for no other rea-
son than to convince yourself that things
run along just about as well without
you as they do with you.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

The chaplain on Gov. Blease's military
staff is the hardest worked minister in
this country if he does his duty.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Col. MulhalI moved quietly for a long
time, but he is having a hurrah finish,
all right.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

The Blue and Gray veterans at Gettys-
burg took Mason and Dixon's line and
cut it up into little bits, ana carried them
on as souvenirs.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

The Chicago professor who predicted
that Mr. Rockefeller will turn Socialist
IL he lives long enough probably had
nothing else to do.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Now that We have had a Fourth of
July without fireworks, let's have a
Christmas without expensive presents.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Some people seem to think that a lob
for the crowd that has the fewest votes.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Cincinnati needs law to prevent en-
ployes of ice factories from going on a
strike in the summer.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Here in the District Of Columbia we
come pretty close to having a referendum
Of Presidential appointments
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

And there was a time-not so very long
ago, either-when people thought Chair
man Underwood and his committee were
q set of radicals.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Opportunity knocks once at every mans
door. we are told. but more often it is
a book agent or a bill collector.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

The concert of the powers is not a:
harmonious as it might be.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

An Idaho man is boasting OF a. hen that
laid ninety-nine eggs in 100 days II that
hen had belonged to q Vermont man he
would have docked her for lost day.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

While they are about it, they might
try to find out who tobbed this new. ex-
else law through Congress.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Senator Works? We are bound to ad-
NIT that he does, although We do not al
ways sympathize with his activities.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Really. it begins to look as IL Congress
Is afraid Of itself.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

A boy who collects cigarette coupons
may amount to something in after life.
but the chances are against him
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Is Mr.. McNab to be the CLAWS Of this
administration?
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Many letters might have been de-
stroyed long ago If they had not been
marked confidential"
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Overheard at the Party.

From Judge.
red-why do you think Miss cutlowe
IL clear gold?
Ned-By the way she withstands the
acid test. when some Of the other women
look 1t her.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Happens Freqac.tIy.

! We don't know who puts the pune In
punctuation. but We do know whole lot
Of punctuation 10 put into punk
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

rom Sud9es
Many q good fellow would be batting
400 in the game Of life II there was any
way to cash Kelley Pool enthusiasm.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10

Isn't it about time to have a receiver
appointed for the Balkan allies?
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
Obvious.


Frum JudgA
Madee-You Girls didn't try to play
baseball IN your hobbies. did you?
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. no! They'd have
got onto our curves.
The Washington herald., 1913-07-10
ADfHerent Ending.

do not know that shall 60.
| But it is fun to plan.
A~Dfner-nt E.dins.
Had quite an adventure lately. Gave
an old gentleman my seat in a street car
and he insisted on taking my card"
! And now he wants to give you 81, 900
eh?"
NO; now he wants to sell me an en-.
cyclopaedis on dollar payments"
Modern Life.
John. you'll kill yourself smoking
Never mind. my dear. For 1000 cou-
pons the tobacco company will provide
you with a new husband"
A Souvenir.
What is this check you have framed
Is it a check for your first earnings?"
"A check for my first rebate" answered
the millionaire with a smile.
A Jilt.
Jack taught a girl to swim,
Then raised an awful row
Because the girl told Jim
She wished that she knew how.
Some Exercise.
Duke" said the medical man, you
motor, ride horseback, and biplane. You
never walk. Your legs become atrophied
from lack of exercise
MY legs get some exercise. doctor.
kick the servants quite frequently"
Home of Literature.
Il thought Boston was such a literary
town"
Have trouble while you were there?'
Had hard work finding book store,
and when I found ont they didn't have a
bartender's guide"
That's What It's For.
man with a fine graphophone may be
excused for putting on airs.