davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

"but-er-please don't come out until afternoon You
see / want to get everything quite ready and there
are some finishing touches / want TO make on it."
Mrs Billings choked as she drank her coffee, but
regaiuiug her composure she assured him she would
come out whenever he said.
The next morning bright and early Billings started
for his lot 10 make the new bungalow moved
Before he left, Mrs Billings detained him moment.
"The-er-roof won't fan off again, viii it dearT"
she inquired, sweetly.
"Now. Grace don't be so hard on me; Of course I
made a few little errors"
And you win have door between the dining room
and Kitchen won't your You know you boarded it
last week."
See here, Mrs. Billings, why get so sarcas-"
And you've enlarged the bedrooms really
get a bed in them and the windows viii open and
shut now, and the furniture won't collapse, and the
mantelpcce won't fall ont the window, and the -"
oh know all those trining little things happened;
but, you see Pm amateur Yet you told me
couldn't build a bungalow, and this afternoon I'm
going TO gloat over you-GLOAT in capital letters
when you # you will feel sorry you made
much fun and got sarcastic and mean about it,
Remember now, about l o'clock this afternoon have
Jackson bring you over in the car"
And Billings FASTENED away. His runabout had
than around the before Jackson their
chauffeur slid another with the car. and Mrs
Billings jumped in. Her coat and bonnet in
the car.
Billings went first to tine office Of the contractor
TO make ne would hurry out. He had his men
and apparatus all ready and just starting out
with the motor truck. Billings followed along.
1t was slow riding, but they finally got there and
the jackcd the bungalow up. put wheels
under It and the motor truck started across the field
to deposit it on the site of the freak bungalow Billings
had tried TO build While this was going on, Billings
the roof, painting it green.
The roof Of this bungalow he had bought was red.
Otherwise it looked exactly like the one he had
built Billings chuclled as he painted telling him
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
NIirandy Expresses Herself Upon Romantic Feelings

isis Hannah Jane" spoons l. dat advice Of yourn
sounds good but l done took notice dat de better
dat advice sounds, de wus hit wuks out done heah
dem things dat yOu'se been spressifyin once befo'
an done act on, an hit might nigh Ian me an Ike
in de divorsh cot No, Sis Hannah Jane | goes
on, "ole folks lake an Ike amt got no business
mixin' up wild dis heah romantical truck
But sholy Sis Mirandy. you thinks dat husbands
an wives should keep up DER romanticaI feelin's
towards each other?" axes Sis Hannah Jane.
Love talk is all very well to tole a man into de
holy bonds Of matrimony," spoons l. but when you
gifts him dere de way to keep him from Jumpin' over
de bars is to fill MIN up wild good food, an let MIN
read his paper in peace
"Nawm. / don't hor none wild married women en-
cougagn romanticaI notions in DER husbands for hit
fills DER haids up wild de notion dat deys still fasci-
majors wild de women, an is got gift for Iovemakn'
dat hits pity TO waste on DER wives De wise wife
de whut prones hit into her husband dat she's
de only in de world dat has got sense enough
an taste enough to know whut a wonder he is
OATS de talk dat keeps him nailed to his own hearth
stone.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
LAUGHS
A Question of Taste.

Mrs. Brown, from Boston, has
colored cook-from Georgia. The
other day Mrs. Brown went into the
kitchen and Liza put in "a request:
mis- Brown" she said, won't You
please. mann. git me CALENDAR"
"Why. Liza. there's a calendar
hanging by the door. You don't want
another calendar"
"Yas'm, / does But I mean
calendar what you presses things
through Oats de kind Oh calendar
/ wants.
Mrs. Brown had a glimmer.
"Oh, Lizar you mean colander :"
She exclaimed
Wei. it's de same thing" said
Liza, patiently. You uses de broad
"a" but l doesn't l just says plain
calendar"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
She got both.

stomach, dat his heart is hupgerin' an thirstq
tor token OF affection froL, you an dat loves
young dream is still hourishin' in yo' bosom dest
de same as hit was when he led you a blushn bride
to de altar"
isis Hannah Jane" / spoons, when man is got
wife dat gifts up in de mawnin an cooks his break
fast an washes his clothes, an patches his brtches,
an takes in little washin' on de side to help pay
rent he amt got no need Of tokens Of sentiment
from her He's got certificate Of love from her
OATS strong enough 10 draw money on at de bank"
Il amt 'sputin yo' representation. Sis Airaudy"
spoons Sis Hannah Jane but dat amt de wherefore
ness OF whut is promugatin; which is dat dest de
same as we laks mernsue on de pie or icin' on
de cake so we aks a little poetry an romance to be
spread over the wu an de worry Of married lile an
maybe ef we fed our husbands on mo sugar piums
at home dey wouldn't go rangin' rouu' de confec.
tionery shops dat is kept by odder ladies'
Now" continues Sis Hannah Jane, "whut we
wives want TO do is to remember dat when a man
marries US he don't lose his sweet TOOTH an dat ne
laks sentiment an romance dest we'll as he used
to, an for US TO act accordin'
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

ject Of heart throbs an hits becaze meets EN-
when dey comes home Of an eyenn' wild de odor OF
fried ham an eggs round us instd Of smelIin' OF
violets: an becaze cuts out de poetry an de
hfalutin sentiments an sticks to de high cost Of
Twin an de cook stove, dat husbands cases
sleeps eyes at gals dat amt mo dan half as ole as
we is an dat weighs lfty pounds less.
Il tell you, Sis Mrandy we wives is got to be mo
romanucal"
We'll, Sis Hannah Jane" spoons a lady OF my
hgger amt built poetic lines an eff Ike is pnin'
an honin any for romance. all got to say is dat
hit amt affected his appetite none"
Oats all dat you sees" says Sis Hannah Jane in
ptyin' tone Of voice, but it maybe while Bro Ike
Is putin away corned beef an cabbage in his
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
WIN lie Wonldn Z Saw r..

The president of a small college,
was visiting the little town that had
been his former home and had been
asked to address an audience Of his
former neighbors. In order to-assura
them that his career had not caused
him to put on airs, he began thus:
My dear friends-I won't call yo4
ladies and gentlemen-I know you
too we'll for that"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
An Ultimatu1n,

Irate There's no use sAzTS.
ing, young man; my daughter can
never be yours.
Young Man-Of course, she can't
DE my daughter: but she's going 10
he my wife, just the same, and the
sooner You get the idea out Of your
head that she isn't, the sooner you'll
have room under your lid for some
other idea. Now, then, sparkle up!
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Cluck! Cluckl

Johnny Cad, but you chickens
wear your gowns low
Chorine-Yes. I almost caught cold
In the wings last night.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Save Trouble.

There was not even standing room
in the crowded electric car. but one
more passenger a young woman.
ea5-ed her way along Just inside the
doorway. Zach time the car took a
sudden lurrh forward she fell help
I7ssiv back. and three times she land
cd IL Tie arms Of large, eontoEtahls
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
By
LEWIS ALLEN

How"
ooh, Mrs. smithers told her husband had sold
his bungalow to you when met her yesterday after
She also said your bungalow had collapsed,
$50 came out early and rode over in this"
do you think. Grace" said Billings, very red.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
It Sure Does

He-Do You think kissing is rs
dangerous as the doctors saw
She-Well, it has certainly put an
end % a good many confirmed bacu-
eLors. at any rate.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
By DOROTHY DIX.
Published by Permission of GOOD HOUSE
KEEPING MAGAZINE.

Cnrany Britain Rrht Hessy.a
l1OIs MIRANDY," says Sis Hannah Jane TO me
y the other day. Use afeard dat you is one or
dem women whut amt feedin' dc fires Of
romance. an de flame OF love on de hearthstone an
tell you, Sis Mirandy dat dem Of us wives which
wise virgins, de Scriptchers says ought TO be
up an dom, an to be continually pourin' kerosene
de fire of our husbands love eff we don't want 10
see de flames flicker out
oh Sis Mirandy." she goes on, hits becaze we
wives talks to husbands all de time bout de price
OF pok chops instid OF conversn' wild EN- on de sub.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

confessed, but, you
know, you cant afford
to have your wife
laughing at you all the
time and getting sar-
castle and rubbing it in.
She'll never know the
difference and she'll
feel pretty cheap when
she sees how she
wronged me-"
The men understood
and agreed silence.
By noon. when the
men got ready for din
ner, their work was all
done, and away went
the motor truck. Bill
ings carefully raked
over all traces Of the
heavy truck. even GO
ing up the road witt
his rake quite a way TO
cover the tracks.
Then he unlocked the
door and went inside to
straighten it out for his
wife's arrival.
That is, he started to
go inside. but upon
opening the door he
saw something that
made him stagger back
on the porch.
II was Mrs. Billings!
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

She seated in big morris chair IN the living
room, reading magazine-or making believe to read
it. as the shutters we're closed and it bit too
dark for reading.
q apologize, Horace" she said. Then she had
~ OF laughter.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Further Adventures of Harold HANGOVER

60 thou and take walk beneath the stars
That twinkle in the spaoeless armament
Note thou the vastness Of the universe,
And when thou reaIizest that this world
Is as a grain of sand is to the ocean,
Thou wilt not hold myself in high esteem;
Nay, even If thou'rt greater than myself!
do not hold myself in high esteem
! know the Vastness Of the universe"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

self that his wife would know the difference
when he had finished making the roof green.
Not a word Of this to anyone" Billings warned
the mover and his men. and he explained that he
wanted to fool his wife.
q did make a fzze of the one tried to build" he
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
What Can a
Poor Cop Do?

POOF Top 10!
Copyright. 1918. by tina srar Company.
Great Britain Rights Reserved
TPittsburgh's superintendent Of
police has ruled that real loVers
man hug and spoon and EGss all
then ,1i8k IN the parks, but the po-
lice must jGiI oil Washers and pro-
tect gisls ,oho object to betRs
kissed.-NetOs Iteni.I
~ITY the lot OF a PittsbursB
i z, COP ?. . ,.,. >, VOC.
Genuine spooners need never stop,
But Washers all must go
Says the law: 1T is proper
enough to be kissed,
Providing tits kissing you like.
But if you object, why the cop must
insist
That the guy with the kiss do a /.
hike"
Now, every one knows that a girl
will say NO."
When really she means to say
YES" ,
And what is a poor PARK policeman !
to do
To settle this delicate messH
The law says true lovers may
ouddle and coo,
And hug and hold hands and all
that;
But how will the cop know the
love that is true
Saw. how will he know where
he's att
On the bench, in the park, q pair
hand In hand
Are startled to hear a cop say:
This here's got to be the real
love, understand?
Or else l will send him awayI"
And so, I repeat. it is tough on q
cop
When the girls boiler Quit
it," and "O-oo!"
For really they always say:
Don't" and please STOP"
When they honestly mean, "ohs
please do"
Pity the life Of a Pittsburgh cop.
Who guards the nuts that wooi
The girls are all ibbing whene'er
they cry Stop.
Oh, what is a poor cop to DOT
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
while going Billings the roof painting green"

that you prefer a brooch or a necklace"
For necklace Horace, I'd never remember what
has happened to-day, and-and for BOTH I'd go so
far as to tell everyone that you BUILT our bunga-
low"
She got both.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

Smith hdgeted unea~iy "a he verdict
- il is good i said. finally
1T very heavy rhymes Why You
izeSt| Iealizest sounds kind bush % me"
81 do like lines"
dignity very pereere
world sings praises Well
kindly. go
get good nights
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

nearly the game between
the Crackers and Gus Mobile
able
their credit Until this time Harold
but his ball he pitcher
a well. psychological had
walked
while the galore
begged him % get EN-
The athlete Baby Don Jacobsen
geuialy q
he i
at memorable game
gently, ordinary
bail Jacobsen scarcely
swapping c-ing
about grotesQuely. then o
actions Tango" quite remember
Turkey Tro
The win of master. the hail. sphere
lHn acting Weaving
weiy 90 The swapping of iiarods fingers he mighty
who had been really startled before o.
large schooner
Nearer and z-g-ad but IFS terribly
ua formidable lauu. who had suddenly
Nadieued last 10y che sphere De
n- w trg fest Then perfect
toward rho pitcher. ~uu-u- ~ $50 wildly.
~.-.,e rarae.- shouted umpire
TERROR Ia..l-aa threw AWAY Hf. r.- -a
o..~0.. aa...s toward tHy clubhouse
--..4 This ail be s-naayl
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15
Billings Builds Bungalow (Almost

Copyright the Star
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-15

chs will be eontn uss next s-naay.l
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
PASSED THE PLATE.


1t was street car conductors duties
In the church of which he was a men,
ber to take up the collections one
day; and. as 1t happened. his first ex-
perience of such duties. He was a
little nervous as he started down the
center aisle. but that soon wore of,
and he began to feel almost at home.
There were sevral children in the
first pew. Each put in a penny. The
people in the next pew also contrib
uted something each.
A big. glum fellow sat alone in the
third pew. The new collector passed
him the plate. but the man shook his
head and stuck his hands deep into
his pockets.
Thereupon our friend the conductor
stopped. put up his hand as II to jerk
the bell cord, and said:
We'll. you'll have to get off."-Na-
uonal Monthly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
PerpIexIno prescrIptIon,

Mrs. McGuire-Is you ould man any
better since he wint to tn doctors,
Mrs. Finnegan?
Mrs Ffnnegan-Not wan bit, Mrs.
Mcclure. Sure. it's worse tn poor
man Is wild his head whirlin' aroun'
tryin' to discover how to follow tn
doctors directions.
Mrs. McGuire-An' what are tn d.
rections, Mrs. F1nnegan?
Mrs. Ffnnegan-Sure, they do be to
take wan powder six tonnes day.
Mrs. MCGUIRE.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Any Old Grounds. Nowadav.

If you can show sufficient cause,
madam, am sure you will be able to
obtain the divorce you seek. Upon
what grounds will you sue?" asked the
lawyer.
"Incompatability."
"Ah. very good. What appears to-
be the trouble?"
mo matter what do or say, my
husband never fails to reproach me
with tut, tut"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Not Like His erandfathsr,

Doctor. I'm getting tired of this
everlasting dunning. You ought to
have more respect for me than that.
My grandfather was one of the ear
liest settlers"
well. wish you had inherited that
quality. and would settle early"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
His Fortune.

Il should think it was a pity NOAH
and his sons didn't know anythYxy
about poker. 1t would have been
such diversion in the ark"
They couldn't have played 1T with
any success. because they Heber had
more than two Of kind"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
In Public Eye.

Somehow" said the genial station
official as he seated himself beside the
traveller. there are some things which
lead people to appreciate our wonder,
full improvements for their conveLS
ience and comfort"
oh. don't worry" laughed the jolly
traveller. There are some things
about your line that are always in the
public eye."
I'm glad to hear that, sir. And
would you mind naming them?"
"Cinders. sir-cinders!"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
A Lost Heirloom.

There is no gout in Sir Percy's fam
lily. is there?"
Not now; there was formerly. 1t
was introduced into the family by Sir
Roland Highliver. but they have been
30 miserably poor for the last 200
years that they couldn't keep it up
Puck
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19

one corner of the room to the other;
and as he did not cry out and did not
resist, it seemed at times that it was
not live man, but soft doll with
bones and without blood
Z. And suddenly all became ST.
lent
What is this? Why are they 81
lent? Have they guessed suddenly ?"
In an instant Judas head was filled
with the roar and shout of thousands
of infuriated thoughts. Have they
guessed? Do they understand now
that he is the very best OF men? 1t
is SO simple. SO clear. What are they
doing there now? They kneel before
him and weep softly. kissing his feet.
Now he will come out here. and they
will follow him meekly. crawling after
him, hereto Judas-he will come out
victorious, Man, Master OF Truth, a
God. :.
who is deceiving Judas? Who il
right?"
But no. The noise and the shouting
were resumed. They were beating him
again. They did not guess, they did
not understand, and they beat him
more harshly. more painfully. And the
bonfires were burning to the end, COW
cred with ashes, and the smoke was
just as transparently blue as the air,
and the sky just as bright as the moon.
Day was setting in.
What is day?" asked Judas.
Now everything became bright. be-
gan to flash, grow young and the
smoke was no longer blue but pink.
The sun was rising
What is the sum-" asked Judas.
-. When the hammer was rails
ed to nail the left hand OF Jesus to the
wood. Judas closed his eyes-he did
not breathe, he did not see anything,
he did not live-he only listened. Then
the iron struck the iron with a thud,
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
No Control.

Baseball Pitcher (walking the floor
with his youngesD-If the manager
could see me now. bet I'd get soaked
with a fine.
Wife-Why so, dear7
Pitcher-I don't seem to have any
control of the bawl at all.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Too ostentatious.

The Tall Blonde-Absence makes
the heart grow fonder.
The Short Brunette-But the Lima,
Ohio, man who shot off fireworks
when his wife went away on a vaca-
tion made a vulgar display of his af-
fection.-Judge.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
statesman,s TrIaIa.

you must remember not to forget
the folks back home." advised the vet
eran statesman.
There is small chance of my hav-
ing chance to forget them SO long
as there are jobs to fill." replied the
new representative.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19

The Critic-Sorry missed seeing
that mob scene in your last produc-
tion.
The Actor-To which mob scene do
you allude? The one in the play. the
one In the audience. or the one on sal
Rry day?
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Uuanswerable.

MY father kin lick your father"
said little Tommy Snagg to little Bob
by Buster.
"Mebby he kim" said little Bobby
Bluster, "but he amt a-goin' to do it,
cause my father is your father's
boss"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
His Renroof

Mrs. voteleigh Coming home at
1D--Are the dear children all right?
l haven't set eyes on them since morn
ing.
Her Husband-Huh. You go about
airing your views; better you'd stay
at home and view your heirs.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
ElImInatIve Processes.

III you'll notice this year you win
see that there doesn't seem to be as
many canoe-drowning jokes as there
were last season and the season be-.
fore. How do you account for it?"
Il dunno; maybe once In awhile a
humorist tips over and isn't heard
from any more. same as anybody's
else"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
On Lean Year.

Weary William wouldn't have
many national holidays If l had my
way-only S65. that's ALL
Prayed Philip-So yer'd make us
pore fellers work one day every four
years. would yer. yer slave driver!
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Had a Poor lime,

She-I suppose you are familiar With
Longfellow's poem; TO Stay at Home
Is Best"
He-Yes, and think he mus have
written it just after returniss .
summer outing.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Where He Obtained Knowledge.

''"I don't see any sense In referring
to the wisdom of Solomon" said the
man smartly. 'He had a thousand
wives
Yes" answered the woman tartly,
'he learned his wisdom from them"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Technical Enouoh.

Benign Old Conformation little
chap Where did that cruel boy hit
you?
TOMMY -Boo-oo-ool We we're 'avin
a naval battle. an e torpedoed me in
the engineroom!-Tit
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
A House That sulta

Has your wife found houses that
suits herr"
We'll, yes, it suits her. All but ths
kitchen range, the closets, the cellar,
the front parlor, the vestibule, the
lighting arrangements and the dining
room wall paper"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
The Hobo as a Teacher.

The Lady-Look here. you said Il at
II I'd give you your dinner you'd NOV
the lawn for me.
The Hobo-Pd like to. ma'am, but !
gotter teach you lesson. Never trust
tn word of total strangerrn
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
DOMESTIC ECONOMY.

The doctor says quit smoking One
lung is nearly gone"
"Oh, dear, John. Can't you hold out until we
get enough coupons for that dining-room rug?"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
Puffed Proverb.

Though thereunto by gentle suasion sped
He may the reservoir approximate,
You cannot force the equine quadruped
The aqua pura to ingurgitate.
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
PRUDENT ENJOYMENT.

Have you had any trouble with your auto
mobile rides, Mrs. Jones7"
No. indeed; make 1t a point to keen al
ways near enough to trolley line to get home. :"
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19

Peter-I say. Jimmy, what do they
mean by "fearsome' in this here game
Of golff
Jimmy Don't know. Peter. un-
less it's the way some folks play
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19

tOr say unto you tudt tuib lhht 10 WHY
ten must yet be accomplished In me.
And he was reckoned among the trans
gressors."
The disciples were surprised and look
cd at one another in confusion. Peter
replies:
Lord, we have two swords here"
He looked searchingly into their kind
faces. lowered his head. and said softly:
1T is enough
The steps OF the disciples resounded
loudly In the narrow streets, and the
disciples were frightened by the sounds
of their own footsteps on the white wall,
illumined by the moon. their black
shadows appeared-and they were fright
ened by their own shadows. Thus they
passed in silence through Jerusalem.
which was absorbed in sleep. and now
they came out of the gates of the city.
and in the valley. full of fantastic. mo-
tionless shadows. the stream of Kedron
appeared before them Now they were
frightened by everything. From time to
time they looked back at Jerusalem, all
white in the moonlight, and they spoke
to one another about the fear that had
passed; and those who walked in the
rear heard, in fragments, the soft words
of Jesus. He spoke about their forsak-
The Elbert County tribune., 1913-12-19
1HE Cl1UCIfKlQN: heStory of@kary

HE moon hs : rissn already
when Jesus preps red to go
to the Mount of Olives,
where he had spent all his
last rights. But he tarried.
for some pexplicable rea-
son, and the disciples.
ready 10 start, we're hurry
ing him then he said sud
denly:
He that hath a purse.
let him take it. and like
wise his script; and he that
hath no sword. let him sell
hfo oarxnant and buv ouo