The Mena weekly star., 1913-04-17
WILSON CR|LLFDAT
 CR|D|RON DINNER
president and Members of Cabinet Guests of Famous Washington Club-MelOdram Is Fea-
 ture of Meeting.

Wilson and his cabinet took their first lesson in statecraft from the Gridiron Club last night at it's an- nual spring dinner. In the presence of members of Congress and many distinguished figures in public life they took good-natured grilling which was a hearty welcome, after all The correspondents, in song and jest, drew back the curtain to disclose the pitfalls that beset any administration and show the foi- hles. the weaknesses and the vir- tues of statesmen.
 scene from genuine melodrama, "The Democratic Lighthouse" con- yeyed in thrilling fashion the warn ing to the tariff makers of the dan gers that lie in their path. In the lighthouse upon the rock was fought the battle between the prin- ciples of pure Democracy and ene- mics in and out of the party.
 "'Tis a bitter night" declared Hoke Smith, a fisherman, amid a shower of stage snow. For f6 wears Democrat Light has been dark. but now old Bill Bryan's com ing back to be keeper of the light. Champ Clark, another fisherman, learned that without enthusiasm, and declared he never liked that fellow. Said he: q tried to ride a trick mule in Baltimore, and was just about to win the prize when old Bill Bryan slipped a burr under the saddle" There had been wrecks off the black coast while the light was out, said Champ; the G. o. P. liner Taft is but hulk on Protec- ton Rock. The mizzentop is the brig Progressive scarce shows above Bull Moose Shoal, and the swift clipper, Uncle Joe, lies whit ening on the strand, all lost for lack of light-no, cash. Now, however, the wreckers have been driven off the coast guard, headed by Oscar Underwood and McAdoo, though the formers protection is merely incidental
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 Keeper Bryan arrives, with his daughter Tariff, and receives a telegram. The message, from Woodrow Wilson, owner of the sail ing brig "T. Jefferson Platform, out of Baltimore, with cargo of Demo- cratic measures, informed the keep nf Revenue that night, and begged that the light be kept burning to bring her safely in, as the country de- manded her freight. Gloomy were the prognostications of the coast guard and keeper and fishermen. McAdoo remarked, Every four years she departs on new cruise, loaded to the guards, but she never brings all her cargo to port
 Bryan: Aye, there's always a story of storms at sea, and they throw the cargo overheard to save the crew. Once she was taken from me, who had command ed her three times, by an Oyster Bay pirate. He filled her with false hopes, put Bill Taft in command and then souttled her"
 During the temporary absence of the other men the william enters in the person of penrose Shoot, who seeks to elope with Miss Tariff, but is slugged and driven off by Coast Guard Oscar Underwood. He re- turns, however, to put out the light and wreck the incoming ship, over comes Keeper Bryan in terrific struggle, but is slain in duel by Underwood. The safe arrival of the Platform" is announced. but alas, on board was none of the Demo- cratic cargo, nor '"Tariff Revision nor Currency Reform" nor the Seven Sisters nor philippine ln- dependence" nor Revised sherman Law" nor Free Canal Tolls" nor Civil Service Reform" but only i5,000 of1iceseekers.
 Keeper Bryan: "Mr. President, what shall we do?"
 Scuitle the Ship.
 President Kaufman tafter whis- pering with President Wilson, President Wilson says take the ship to sea again and seuttle her.
 Bryan: God pity the poor or flceseekers on a night like this
 Scarcely had the guests settled back to dinner before disorder arose through the imperative demands fof admission into the hall and into membership into the Gridiron Cluf of two reporters-Robert Il. Patch in of the New York Herald anC Thomas F. Logan of the Philadel' phia Inquirer. Tn accordance wltl the custom they were initiated Il the presence of the company, th' ceremony taking the form Of practical examination of the candl dates in reportorial work.
 Testing his general information one was asked where the Demo cratic party is mentioned in scrip ture, to which he replied Tn tn Book of Psalms. The wild asse did stand in high places; the snuffed up the wind ike dragons their eyes did fall, because theT
 was no grass
 Noiables at Dinner.
 Among the guests in attendance
 the Gridiron dinner, in addition
 President Wilson and the membe
 of his cabinet, were the Brazilii
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