davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1913-06-12
Sense or no Sense.
BY Paddy

Right here let us register a yelp
in favor of woman suffrage. One
of the leaders has just come out with
the howl that a workingman is en-
titled to pie three times day, and
has right to demand it. We say
let them vote so that we may see if
the poor man gets his rights or not.
A gent is suing his wife for di-
vorce on the grounds that she will
not do anything he tells her, and
when pressed by the Judge to state
an instance in which he told his bet
ter half to do something and she re-
fused. he said: Il told her to go
and jump in the lake and when she
got to the bottom to forget to come
up, and she wouldn't"
Some people," said G. p, are
so contrary that if they fell into a
river they would float upstream.
When it comes to the pulling
business, dentist is royal fiush''
high. He can pull your teeth and
leg at the same time and never bat
an eyelash doing it.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1913-06-12

Mex and | are going to sing solo
next holiday, entitled: why is a
wheelbarrow?" or Who wants my
shovel?'
Now said the Judge to the pris-
oner, the case seems to be very
clearly against you and it is the
duty of the court to punish you, so
will give you ten days or ten dol
lars"
Gimme de coin judge" said the
prisoner, Il am short on change"
A gent claims that Fuggy' is the
latest word in slang and that it was
coined only short time ago, and in
Boston at that, and is making quite
hit. We were just wondering if
1t has any relation to the "Fuggy"
mixed drink that you often hear
the rough necks call for in barrel
house, and is made from gasoline,
glycerine and dynamite.
Sam Langford' says he does not
care anything about how the silk
strike in New Jersey comes out just
so that he can get something to
keep that wool crop of his growing
that has taken root under his nose.
Say" said the visitor to the ush-
er as they were making the rounds
of the prison, how do you get all
those men In the dollhouse at night?
| suppose you have to use force and
drive them, don't your Mo- said
the usher. we coax them in with
stick OF candy" Such foolish ques-
tons!
Well, we should worry" A gent
claims that if the tariff reform pass
es congress every working man will
be out of job.
No matter how pretty a girl may
be she can not get away from the
fact that she is dam sci, the same
as her plain featured sister.
A lady that weighed six hundred
and thirteen pounds died from the
effects of an operation to remove a
hundred and fifty pound growth
from her body. Mercy, if they
took one hundred and fifty pounds
from my frame / would weight seven
pounds less than nothing.
A gent by the name of Electric
has just got married. Suppose that
his sons and daughters will be more
or less live wires.
Why is white woman kissing
a cOlored gent on a train as it
speeds along 60 miles per hour like
a hobo riding the rods on the same
RATHER? They are both kissing Gin
ders while the train is in motion.
Shorty, in the dining room, was
handed shock the other day. He
tried to steal the currents out of the
electric clock.
How much do you earn day"
asked the Deputy Warden to one
of the men who Is hired by the con-
tractor here. "Oh, I earn about
two bits" said the gent, but l get
two dollars"
What is "compiadicomptarion?"
That is what Mex" called me
when | asked him how he was
enjoying the holiday. l thought it
might be some new kind of break
fast food.
When 1t comes to the perpetual
smile gent IN shop C is 1T. He
even wears the happy ha-ha sign on
his mug when asleep.
The teacher who had to dismiss
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
CRAWFORD.
: - ~ $1,000 1890 - =
(Chronicle.)

Frank Pace spent day or two at
Delta last week
Nearly every evening we have a
fall of the beautiful and sleighing is
fine.
Ted Taylor and family spent Sun
day at the home of Maholn Collins.
Will Savage has been on the sick
list for several days this week
Ed. Hanson has purchased the hay
on the Woodward ranch and is feed
ing large bunch of cattle there.
Jim McKissen went up on Black
mesa Sunday to spend a week trap
ping.
Miss Eva Salisbury came up from
the canon Sunday for a visit with her
cousin, Mrs. Clark Collins
3 Gus Pace and Alex Hefley captured
a large bob cat at the base of Needle
Rock Saturday
. S. B. Stratton passed through Craw
ford Monday with a nice bunch of cat
tie he brought over to winter.
A fine little girl arrived at the
home of Mr.. and Mrs. Orin ID. Nichol-
son, at Maher, last Saturday.
C. V. Shifts and L. w. Foster made
a trip to the Farmers coal mine at
lPaonia Monday after coal, they haul
ed on sleds
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
Fire at Maher

Last Saturday fire broke out In
the residence of VIM. Foster. in
which was located the Maher post.
office. At the time only Miss Edna
was at home. though her brother was
near by on his way from the Savage
ranch A defective flue is thought to
have been the cause. Mr.. and Mrs.
Foster were in Crawford at the time
The two young peaple succeeded in
removing the mail and a few things
of minor value, but all the postage
stamps. post office supplies and rec.
ords. the household furniture and the
building were burned. The loss will
amount to between $4,000 and 81 900
partially covered by insurance. But
for the fact that everything was GOV.
cred with heavy coat of snow. sew
eral other buildings barns, sheds and
stacks of hay would have been burned
hs the fire fell all over them in pro.
fusion. The loss will be severely felt
by the family. In addition to the
value of the property lost. there we're
quite number of family heirlooms.
whose value cannot be measured in
money, and which of course can never
be replaced.-C Crawford Chronicle.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

V. NJ Gipe has returned from his
Idaho trip.
A son arrived at the home of Mr.
and Mrs Chas. Cook Monday
Miss Mae McReynolds is spending
a part of the week in Delta, visiting
friends.
Forest Ranger Robinson left Mon
day for Collbran to confer with the
supervisor.
Mr. Petit this week moved his
household goods to Delta where he
will reside
Joe Kitch came up from Delta
Tuesday to look after business mat
ters.
H. ]. Baird of Delta was a Cedar
edge visitor Wednesday.
On Tuesday of the last week a
daughter was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
]. B. Hancock
G. T. White, the Delta undertaken.
| was at Cedaredge Wednesday prepar-
ing the remains of John Youngbesg
for burial.
Some excellent ice has been put in
to the ice houses the past week. An
unusually large quantity is being stor-
ed this year.
The Cedaredge Firemen are arrang-
ing to give play in the near future
They will undoubtedly have something
pretty good to offer
Mrs. |. Hunter state president of
the Rebekah assembly. was at Cedar
edge Monday and attended the meet
Ing of the Rebekah lodge that even
ing.
The neat bungalow being erected
by r. p. James for w. C. Overhults
is almost completed and is one of the
finest residences of its kind in town.
The Cedaredge Hardware company is
now installing a hot water heating
plant. Other modern conveniences
will be installed as soon as possible.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
PAoNIA
(The Paonian.)

A L. Goess returned last week from
his eastern trip.
C. o. Johnson returned from a trip
to Denver Sunday.
viii Allen returned Saturday night
from visit in Montrose.
Verne p. Rawalt was a business Wis.
itor in the County seat last Satur-
day
ROLAND Oliver spent Tuesday in
Delta attending to business matters.
Horticultural Inspector L. T. Ernst
visited Payne mesa orchards this
week.
Miss Mary Lawrence and Miss
Friday evening.
Mrs. f. S. Cady went to Delta Sat.
urday for visit with her daughter,
Mrs. John w. Davis.
John Beezeley and G. w. Sweeney
were county seat visitors Tuesday on
irrigation matters.
Fred Foster. the Crawford merchant
was a weekend visitor in the home
of his brother, r. ]. Foster
The home of E. E. Whitney on Bone
mesa was gladdened Sunday by the
advent OF boy of regulation weight.
The annual meeting of the Delta
County Cooperative Telephone Com
pany will be held at Hotchkiss on
THE fourth of February.
Or. w. S. Craig went up to the Mud
dy country the last of the week to
care for some horses belonging to his
father. George Craig and A. c. Bots
ford
Mrs. E. E. Sans and little daugh.
ter returned from a two weeks visit
with relatives at Cedaredge Thursday
night Mr. Sans drove over in his
auto the same day.
II the papers throughout the coun-
try desire to print the truth. they
ought to correct their reports of Pa
onia's temperature on the night of the
9Th of this month to read Is instead
of 3S.
1t is reported that S. x. Redman
has purchased the Boston building on
Grand avenue near the Luce Mercan-
tile store and will remodel II for
combined office and dwelling.
Mrs. 1mogene Woods and two chill
dren left Saturday morning to visit
with relatives in Cedaredge. having
enjoyed visit. with her parents. Mr..
and Mrs. w. T. Bross here. She was
accompanied by her mother and her
brother. Otto Bross.
The McCready brothers have leas-
ed the C. o. Johnson rancn near Co.
burn switch for the coming year and
are taking possession this week
Leonard McCready resigned his posi-.
ton with the C. C. Owen feed store
Tuesday. r. B. Bross has succeeded
him in that place.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
= AUSTIN BRIEFS .
. q q q a q q q q q q q q q
(Austin Journal.)

William Shildt of Cimarron visited
the Linscott family on Tuesday.
]. c. Watts and family and Mrs. w.
T. Watts, were Delta visitors on Tues
day.
Miss Lottie Hunsicker of Delta is
visiting friends in Austin this week.
Will Watts and family returned last
Sunday from Clifton where they had
been visiting.
There was quiet birthday gather
ing on last Sunday in honor of Miss
Esther Claybaugh at her parents home
Mrs. H. H: Lohans returned Sun
day from a two months visit with
friends and relatives in Buffalo, n.
Y.
Mrs. II. X. Prior returned to Den
'ver last Tuesday after spending some
time with her daughter. Mrs. S. l..
Brown
Maude Runnoe was a passenger for
Denver on Tuesdays train. She eN-
poets to take course in music at
the capital city.
A young man by the name Of Wolf
arrived on Friday to gladden. the
home of Mr.. and Mrs. Paul f. Wolfe
We are very glad to hear that our
genial neighbor. c. +. Florer has
again been appointed deputy sheriff.
MAY he live long and prosper
Howard Hanes and Russell Beckett
returned safely to civilization after
much hardship in the canon. Friends
OF the young men were anxious about
them for several days.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
iT'irnes)

ltHfhl
Dennis Taylor returned from Ouray
Monday evening.
John Nowland returned from My
ton. Utah. Sunday evening.
Mr. Bert Lewis OF Arkansas visited
T.. c. Baker of Rogers mesa the first
of the week
John Kerr OF Venango. Illinois was
here this week looking over the coun.
try with Mr.. Mack
J. II. Kellogg. who has been visit.
ing his sons cast of town for few
days. returned to Denver Tuesday
morning.
A. c. Butsford was down from his
COW camp on Muddy the first of the
week and says there is foot of snow
there, the thermometer registered a
below one morning during the recent
cold spell.
We received a letter from Mrs.
Charley Gray in which she tells us
that we are not the only ones that suf
fered from the severe cold spell of
two weeks ago. At Ocean Beach
California. their home. it was the cold.
est ever known.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
Notice Of Annual Meeting

The annual meeting of the Delta
County Business Mems Association
Will be held on Tuesday evening. Jan.
21 at p. m, in the office OF the as.
sociation. Room 7. Postoff.ce building.
Officers win be elected for the en-
suing year and other important bust.
ness will come up for discussion.
Everyone Interested In the develop
ment and growth OF our city and coun.
ty are requested to make II n point
to be present Willis A. Davis. Pres.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

II. f. Roberts was business visitor
lin the county seat Saturday.
John Rowland came in the last OF
the week from trip to Utah
J. II. Kellogg left Tuesday morning
for Denver after a short viist with his
sons at the ranch on Bone mesa
Paul Fleming returned last Thurs
day evening from Iowa. We under
stand that he was married while
hway and that Mrs. Fleming will come
In a short time.
Several of the mighty" hunters of
this vicinity started Tuesday morning
for the hills north OF town to attempt
to get a mountain lion that has been
busy feeding on the pigs belonging to
Pete Slatten.
b. p Smith came up from Delta
evening to attend the meet
ing OF the directors of the First Ma
tional Bank. The meeting was held
at the bank In the evening A change
was made in the directors. Harry G.
Hayward retiring and G. S. Roller be
ing elected. Harry Adams was elect
ed as assistant cashier.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
BUSINESS LOCALS.
% >>>>>>>
~. A. Davis. General Auctioneer.

~. A. Davis. General Auctioneer.
For Trade-An Sx10 camera for n
typewriter. Delta Bakery.
Protect your home against fire by
insuring with Stephan & obert.
Good Denver income and eastern
farmes to exchange for Delta county
land. See Surface Greek Realty Co.
FOR SALE-My house at 1872 Main
street Am going away. VIII sell
cheap II taken at once L. c. KURZ.
WANTED-Ten ton or good Eureka
seed potatoes Inquire at Cooks
Second Hand store.
FOR SALE-Piano. almost new.
price 5000, $50 cash. Terms on bal.
anoe. Also fine music cabinet I. w.
Mccurdy agent. 544 Palmer.
FOR SALE-A ~ acre fruit ranch
on Lower Surface Creek; also a pair
of mules. Inquire OF Miss Pearl Kin
cade. Court House. Delta. Il
Young men and women
to represent an Eastern Wholesale
house. Consideration, S1.5O to st.75 "A
day. Call on or adress. ]. w. Bran
denburg. HiXon Rooming House, Del
Ia. Colorado.
WANTED-To exchange 40 acres of
good Cedaredge orchard land. with
good orchard and No. water right.
for residence property in Delta, or
farm land near Delta.
u. BOLES. Cedaredge.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

A Pueblo minister was asked II
the man who learned to play the cor
net on Sunday would go to heaven.
The good preachers reply was some
what characteristic. Said he: ~ do
not see why he should not. but
after a pause-"I doubt whether the
man next door will
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
For Sale Chean

Three work horses. one 300 pounds,
one 1000 and one 1850. Harness al
80 for sale. Phone Delta 332.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

Two acres adjoining town for sale.
or will trade for city property. Call
Coop. Phone S-F. 81
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
QOOdMI1G
IJONT'S-

Don't carry large sums OF money
around with you. Hold-ups are not
unheard of.
Don't hide money arouna the
house. There are few burglars left.
Don't be extravigant. put your
money In this bank and add all you
can spare to 1T
Don't fail to take this advice and
you will have an easy and happy
old age.
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

What Interested me most in my
travels" said old man Rimrock. was
the mummy of the queen | saw in
Egypt" Wonderful. eh ?" asked his
friend. ITS wonderful how they
could make woman dry up and stay
that way"
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
HoTcHKIss
~>~~%>%>%>s>.

CHotchkiss Herald)
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

TT is so that you used to call regu.
larly on Miss Lickdab?" yes, she
always sang a song to me that low
ed" why didn't you marry herr"
Il found that / could buy the song
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
JOKES (O
. = 80 - >>>> =

If burglar skipped through a base
ment door to steal ham, would the
furnace roar? If he stopped to learn
If the ham was good, would the coal
shoot as quick as the kindling-wood +?
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24

Look here, my lady" exclaimed the
thrifty Delta man to his extravagant
wife. you're carrying too much sail. :"
Why should that worry you" she re-
torted. Because / have to raise the
wind that's why"
The Delta independent., 1913-01-24
CEDAREDGE.

(Champion.l
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

was still for a moment, and then sud
denly he sat erect and, shaking his
fist In the air, exclaimed:
Back. say! Back before 1 fire!'
Let us crawl over the wall around
his heart and look. The room Is filed
with thousand soldiers-more than
that.
There is regiment after regiment
Some are of lead. others of tin, while
those making the assault on the bed
are wooden. From back OF the bureau
comes troop of cavalry. the tin horses
fairly galloping as the captain bran
dishes his sword. From under the
washstand comes a battery of artil-
lery. They are placing their guns. The
little general. painted so gaudily, Is on
the mans shoulder. VIII he capitu-
late? There is quiet among the troops.
The general comes down and consults
for moment with the commander of
the wooden soldiers. The man looks
at them with terror. He has asked
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

Cude OF pale and worn went by those
in the faded alpacas he reached out
and gave them money and said:
This is To buy for the children" :"
while the dealers poured into the
yawning baskets the best on the stalls
1t was morning when he threw him
self i'm bed. tired, but such good
tired. He stretched himself out and
fell asleep. And I'm Sleepland he
looked ont. and there before him. as
far as his eyes could reach were the
soldiers all drawn up for review. The
tiny bands began to play. The officers
marched proudly at the head OF the
column. The parade began to move
up the room. then up to the bed and
across. He arose and saluted. for as
they passed the guns were all at pre-
sent arms, and the colors dipped as
they went before him
The toys were the victors, but they
honored the cOnquered.-N York
Mail
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

room big. selfish man stood and rub
bed his hands and smiled because 1t
was so quiet Once the distant blow
ing of horn was heard. and he stood
on a chair and stuffed bath towel
into ventilator.
Fine. fine"' said he. Those fools.
I'll get some sleep now"
And he undressed and walked about
and smiled. Long ago. when the hair
just above his ears began to show a
little gray, great wall arose i'm his
life and cut off the past-the past when
he was "A boy. And dead vines hung
about this barrier, and it's walls grew
thicker and higher until it forced back
smiles thht came from ChildhoOd'S hap
py memory. ana his heart grew hard
and cold
"ChristmaSr' he Sneered us he reach
ed for the clectri" light. "All over the
country. | suppose, they are deluding
children with the Santa Claus tomfool-
cry"
Then it was darkness. and he tucked
himself deep down under the covers.
great happiness came over him, for
he could not hear Il sound. SO he closed
his eyes and sleep came to him.
Outside the noise grew <aSt and loud
er. 'Only little time Srd the bells
would ring the midnight hour and it
would be Christmas morning. \ mil
lion houSetopS were silent. for beneath
them. in their tiny beds, were the lit
tie cNpectant hearts.
And he in the inside room was snor-
Ing. Suddenly lie threw his arm up
and grabbed the side of the bed. He
tossed his lcG7s wildly about and rocked
lik" Il man i'm great agony. Then he
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

for more time. suddenly the troops
move back again, and around the bed
appear hundreds OF tiny tents The
man h the bed groanS They are 20.
ing 10 Starve him out.
The man sticks his head ont from the
cover for air. His head is hardly out
when it is struck 10y great rubber
ball. and then. like July storm. when
great cloud breaks. there comes from
above dOwupour of rubber balls.
footballs, bascbalIS. iackballS. tennis
balls ana balls of every description.
They beat ON the bed ana pummcI
the man like hail on II bed of roses.
He lies still and grounS. The shower
ceases, ANA then, with the noise of "a
hurricane, there comes rushing through
the air what seems an African ty-
phoon
1T is the hoops. the hoops cry the
wooden soldiers.
And so it is. The air is filled with
every kind Of hoop, ana they roll back
ward and across the bed like storm
lhshed sea. The man screams i'm pain
Some of the hoops have bells on them
and they ring in his ears as the sharp
edges OF the bent hickory cut his face
He is weak and pale. but does not
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19
The New Christmas Carol.

Exchange.
Scrooge is dead--dead as Marlye.
That is the whole nappy story of the
"Christmas Carol" of our day.
The time has not come yet-maybe
never will come. when the kindly
earth shall slumber, lapt in univer-
sal law But the time is past when
Our Christmas candy wed'd divide,
the spirit of self ruled the world by
the force of the law of greed.
Through all the centuries, until the
good new days, man misread the
message of good will toward men"
Good will of man toward his fellow
man alone can bring Gods good Wjnl
to all, is the universal Christmas
creed today.
The old rule of the rich man was
TO feed and clOthe those who could
aid him, because he feared his enc
mics, and TO give to the church when
he died because he was afraid of hell.
This generation has seen the un-
conscious budding of a new spirit
that links unr6Jt with wealth, until
its possesSor aids in the betterment
of his fellow man.
Sects still have their quarrels In
tolerance still exists. But il lessons
every year, and we see what the
world never saw before-priest, rab-
bi, parson and eangelist allied in
every moment for the uplift of the
race; each ardent in his own faith,
but all drawing nearer and nearer
toward full brotherhood with the
men whose forefathers alternated
with their own in prosecutions.
Nor is the new spirit confined to
men OF any border, breed or birth.
Flaws are in the work not yet per-
fect-Cruelties are done that seem
the deeds of devils rather than of
children OF God. But he who looks
largely upon the world sees that the
"one increasing purpose runs" even
stronger.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19
A BIRTHDAY GIFT.

What can ] give Him?
Poor as | am!
II / were a shepherd
would bring a lamb,
If | were a wise man
would do my part
Yet what can l give Him;
Give my heart.
Christina Rosset
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

Do not look upon Christmas as
merely season for swapping gifts.
Let's forget gifts and gift giving.
save sources of JOY to little children
Forget sorrows, inevitable; remem-
ber joys, never-ending. Purge the
heart; let peace and goodwill reign.
Exchange.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19

.IE irritated hotel
guest was fuss
ing and fuming
and quarrel ling
with the clerk be-
cause he could
not : @ ep. 1t
was 10 o'clO TX on
hriStmaS ev".
lnd the thrunyS
Of mcrrymakUrs
on the street
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1913-12-19
THE REVOLT
OF THE TOYS
BY WELLS HAWKS.

HE irritated hotel
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-17
CASINO DIRECTOR SHOT
Panic in San Sebastian Rooms
When Man Is Killed.

san Sebastian, Spain. sept. l6.-M-
Bouelle. director OF San Sebastian Ca
sino. was shot dead last night before
the ewes Of 100 persons gathered
around the gaming tables.
About midnight a man in evening
dress. standing ia the doorYly drew a
revolver and fred OF the ceiling.
panic ensucd and tho crowd STAN
NEEDED. amid the terrified screams Of
the women. Bouelle rushed toward
the man. who waited unit! he was
within q few feet Of him and then
turned the revolver on the director.
firing the remaining five shots.
The assassin stood calmly by as his
victim fell and permitted himself TO be
placed under arrest. He IS believed 20
be a discharged employe, who attired
himself in evening clothes so that ne
might enter the Casino with the guests
unnoticed. to take revenge.