davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
Her Speciality.

so you took your wife to the base
ball game?"
YES" replied Mr.. Meekton.
did she enjoy it,"
only part Of 1t. She thought they
wasted great deal of time running
around the lot. but s.e thought the
arguments with the um. DIRE were quite
interesting"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
Mystery.

Bacon-I see Alaska has its first
dining-car made out of an old coach
in the Cordova shops and managed by
q man and his wife.
Egbert-very interesting. But
think it would be more important to
know what some of the dishes served
on the dining-car are made OF.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

About sunset, when / was furnishing
for food and water, came on the
camp of an English hunting party.
and staid with it until we reached
Mombasa-
It's strange story, but 1t Is true.
And II Sophie-that is the sacred mon
keys name now-could only speak.
she would confirm every word of how
/ was made king and then henpecked
on my throne. had royalty thrust
upon me, and one trial was enough.
Never again!
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Surely.
Church-You know. he's an English
man.
Gotham-So believe.
HE told me he had a mortgage on
his place over home of one thousand
pounds"
Pretty heavy to lift, should say"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

What's the matter here?" asked
the customer after apples. There
are no big apples on the top Of this
barrel?"
I'll tell you about that" replied
the dealer; when got the barrel
packed with small apples there wasn't
any room on the top for any big
ones"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

what do you do when it gets too
cold to play golf. Mr. Niblick?"
well. - . rule. I keep hoping for
an early spring or = chance to 60
south for : month or two"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
The Hero and the Valet.

mo man Is hero to his valet."
said the ready-made philosopher.
WELL" replied Senator Sorghum,
with SO many people willing to give
admiring demonstrations without
charge, a man wouldn't feel like pay
ing a valet to applaud"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
Once Enouah.

did you go to the theater while you
were In New YORK;"
only once. After that l hung
around cafes, thinking something ex-
citing might happen"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Progress.
Now, young man." said Willie's IA
Their. Il am going to lay down the law
to you"
"All right. pa. but don't forget that
il don't like It I may get ma to 70
call your decision"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
A pisreslpect.

did you read the novel have just
gotten out?" asked the persistent au-
thor
yes"
what did you think of it,"
ut is one of those terrible prac-
tical jokes that are constantly being
played on the genius that invented
the printing press
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

"Oh, the ease with which some men
can master great dificulties!" sighed
the sweet maid.
"Oh. yes; read novels. too" com
mented the young man.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
Not Enjoyable.

30 you shave yourself?" asked the
victim In the chair.
-sure thing" replied the garrulous
barber.
And do you enjoy it,"
Never: You see. do 1t when I'm
alone, and 20 there's no one for me to
taix to"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Miss Heavyweight-Yes. I'd like to
be a good basketball player. Are
there any books you could recommend
that would help me?
Mr.. Knowing-Well, before taking
It up you might get some points on
First Aid to the Injured"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
Ne<k. N~<s.sA
Al. Latest Atroclty.

The Doctor-That little dog Of
yours, that barks and snarls whenever
come over here, appears to be
quiescent today.
The Professor = Yes - -obsequi-
escent: / buried him yesterday.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Great Joy is written on her face.
A happiness that knows no bounds:
She hopes to trip with gi.ligh grace
Because she's lost elevs1 pounds
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Lovelorn-You wish me to elope
with your daughter! Why, sir?
Harduppe- Becaue, no wedding
bills for me.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11
|UzeKTfGHEN


WOMAN too busy to take
care of her health is like a
mechanic TOO busy to take care of his
tools
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

An Old Annoyance.
The curtain rises. pleased we are
To see the play begin.
But cannot hear the famous star
For people trooping In.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1913-01-11

Cursed be the man. the poorest wretch
In life
The crouching vassal to the tyrant wife,"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
CHEATS THE HANGMAN
COnvice Jumps From Moving Train
and Escapes.

Fort Smith, Ark. Nov. 14.-Arthur
Tillman, Fl years old, under sentence to
hang for the murder Of Miss Amanda
Stephens. leaped from train near
Perry, Ark. while. being taken to the
state prison today and escaped. He was
under sentence to hang March 10 at
Paris. He had an appeal pending be-
fore the supreme court and as the local
county Jail at Paris was deemed in
secure Sheriff A. L. Cook decided to
take him to the prison pending the su-
preme courts decision.
Tillman arose from his seat to get a
drink of water. The water cooler was
only few feet from the sheriff but as
the sheriff turned to look out of the
train window Tfllman rushed through
the car door and leaped from the plat
form. The train was stopped but 40
trace of Tillman was found.
Miss Stephens, who was 10 years old,
was shot to death last March and her
body buried in q well.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
At THE PICTURE HOUSES
Tolstoi Film at Best.

TOlStO1 Finn NJ BEST
Today and tomorrow the Best thea
ter is featuring a motion picture
dramatization Of Count Leo N. Toll
stoYs famous novel, 1.-The Living
Corpse This masterful protest
against certain marriage and divorce
laws is considered the most renowned
effort from the pen Of the great Rus
sian philosopher, and deals with one
of the great problems of the age. The
film at the Best is in four parts, the
staging is excellent, and the cast is a
notable one. Two other reels being
shown make the program at the Best
six reels in length.
Program at the Aurora.
The two-reel feature at the Aurora
theater today and tomorrow is a Vita
graph special offering, Under the
Daisies It is a drama with Leo De-
laney in the lead, supported by the
Vitagraph company. The other num-
bers are "Dodging Matrimony,' a
Pathe comedy, and THE Chieftain's
Sons" q Biograph Western drama
ssNlOths" to Be at Cozy.
What has been described as the most
extraordinary description of woman
ever penned is Moths" which has
been staged before the motion picture
camera and will be presented at the
Cozy next Monday and Tuesday in five
reels Miss Maud Fealy assumes the
lead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
LOCAL MENTION.

Rev. N. r. Troxell, pastor Of the
First Lutheran church, has gone to st.
Joseph, Mo-, to attend a meeting Of the
Lutheran synod of Kansas. VIM. A.
Benson will represent the church as lay
delegate. Mrs. TroxeH and Mrs. J.. 6.
Kerr will attend the Women's Mission
airy society as delegates from Topeka.
". e ysnrey Dentist. 7us Kansas ave.
The sherin's Office today arrested
Vern Butner in Dover, charged with
assault upon Guy Holmes.
The case of the State Savings bank
against ". G. Carpenter. 408 Buchanan
street, was decided this morning by
Judge Robert Carver, who gave the
plaintiff possession and costs.
Beulah Chapter No. "a, o. e. s., will
give reception to Grand Matron Mrs.
Mary A. Harrington in Masonic parlors
Saturday from to s. All o. E. s. menu
bers are invited. Elizabeth Gregory,
w. M: Cora w. WEIGH. Sec'y.-Adv.
II tie Ladies' would try Golden Egg ma
It alwayB.-Adv-
The term of Dr. C. n. Hensley a.
county physician will expire January
begun filing applications with the
county commissioners for the office.
DIR. Hensley will ask for another term.
He has made . good official Claude
B. Lull filed application for the posi-
ton today with q long list Of recon-
mendati0ns. He Il q graduate Of the
Kansas Medical school and has lived
In Kansas all his life.
Glen stevens today was given q
f,rf3 gyv1 ant NJ 34S0 In the dfafrfct court
against the Santa Fe as damages for
personal injurie4 On August 80 he
was unloading . piano at the freight
depot when he suffered . broken leg
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
POLICE were SCARED.
Suspicious Looking Package Is Hur-
ried to the River.

Kansas City, Nov. 1.-THE Kansas
CITY police department experienced q
bomb scare when an unidentified man
laid a metallic tube on the desk OF the
secretary to the chief of detectives.
..Gfve this to Chief of Detective
Ghent,' the visitor said, II found 1t in
an express car Then the man disap-
peared.
A hurried conference of police heads
was called and the tube was carried to
Captain Thomas p. Flahive, In charge
at headquarters.
What is it?'' he demanded.
"Wethink it's a bomb" responded
the officers.
Lookout, don't touch it. It might go
Off,
Take it to the river" Captain Fla
hive shouted, without making a further
examination. John Gresham, a patrol
man, carried out the captains COM
maud.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14

and some hand had plucked from my
garden the best of my squashes, cucuna-
bers, melons and green corn. The tn
truders had left sign pinned to q tree.
It read:
I'VE have filled our dinner pals! Hur-
rah for our party!"
And the very next morning Abraham
Godlove came into the postoffice to ask:
before election you and had quiet
little TALK"
Seems like do" replied.
Il was down on Taft because he hadn't
gone for the coal-barons."
.'Oh. yes
You said that If Wilson was elected
coal dealer in the country Remember"
Il might have said sO.''
But you did say so. Don't try to
squirm and dodge. I wasn't going to
talk thought I'd better"
"Well?'
HAS the president gone for the coal
men?''
"He hasn't But he is going to-
"Oh. he is? And 1 am going for you!
You've got big woodpile at the house.
and I'm going to help myself to what
want until this coal business is straight
ened out. I've got man wheeling
lot of it over now.
But Moses
keep its pledges. You go to raising a
row and I'll head mob to take your noe
out of the pen! -
Moses has taken four dollars worth OF
nv woodpile to date, and 1 have charged
the same to the account of the admins
tration.
Only last night, Mr.. President. Mrs.
Pinkham awOke me to say that some one
was housing around the backyard l got
I'D and raised window and saw man
gathering my shirts or the clothes me-
and yelled at him:
Hey there-what you doing?
"Reaping the benefits" says he.
What do you mean?''
ssVhy before election I heard you say
that II your candidate was elected, ooliar
shirts could be had for the picking. I've
picked four! Good night!
I'm willing to be held responsible Tor
things that happen in this postoffice while
| run 1T, but IL am to be held Responsible
for all the busted party pledges 1 mlgnt
as well take to the woods.
Can't YOU do something, Mr.. President,
! to relieve the strain? l love my country
and / love to hold office but when 1t
comes to parting with my shirts, my
woodpiles, my hens and my garden truck
| to uphold the constitution 1T gives me
webbing of the knees
During the campaign I promised every
/ workingman around here an aeroplane n
! he voted right. I'm expecting score OF
| calls any day, and II can't deliver the
machines ri have to fly instead.
OLD PAP PINKHAM
mighty Anxious Postmaster)
-(Copyright, 1918, by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14

or not. Later in the day Deacon Dry
dock entered my grocery and said:
Pap, some days before election we
had talk about politics.
I'VE did. deacon-we did"
Il told you was rather on the fence
as to candidates"
You di..''
Taft hadn't reduced the cost of living
MOT cent
But you said Wilson surely would, and
that | voted for him when the time
came"
Deacon. you shall have OFFICE said
as patted him on the back.
"Office be burned. Has the cost Of liv-
ing come DOWN."
Not SOS you can notice IT."
But why hasn't it,"
Pap. you lied about it. but the cost Of
living is coming down.! Its going to start
right herer'
II want tea. coffee. sugar and butter:
You'll take 10 per cent OF present prices
or I'll take OF my coat"
Mr.. President. this administration owes
the deacon!s bill. had to lose that mueh
or take licking. want to keep party
Promises. as do we all but VIC don't want
the discount to come out Of our own
Later on, Mrs. James wheatsheaf en-
tered the grocery with stern air and
determined tread and said to me:
Pap. wasn't it in your party platform
that the trusts should be busted?'
ITO be sure, Mrs. Wheatsheaf.' / re-
piled.
ANY of 'em busted yet?''
MOT that I've heard of. You see, the
administration is very busy In other d.
rections."
"Filling offices mostly, 1 take it?'
WELL yes. You know we must have
Office holders or the government couldn't
rum"
'sWhen do you think the president will
begin trust-busting
Probably in a year or So"
II can't wait that long," she says as
she sets her jaw
'.How do you mean?'
in Jericho that sells dill pickles. There
fore, you are trust. Therefore. I am
going to bust you and not wait for the
president to act!"
But, Mrs Wheatsheaf-'-
Never you mind that Pap!
And she stepped over to the crock and
fIshed up Is dill pickles and put them
in her pail and walked of.
The pickles are a cent apiece up here
and the administration therefore owes me
Is cents more.
l have a copy of our platform and Its
pledges to the people. It's no use to pre-
serve them, they are no good after
election. l am under the impression
however, that we promised the working.
man a full dinner pail. It's always in
corporated into all party platforms, and
after election the workingman goes
hungry or fills up on banana skins.
The other morning got up to find
that during the hours of night my hen.
roost had been robbed Of II fat chickens
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
PLAYINe IN Mud
Washburn and Emporia Strug-
gle Under DiAdculties.
Score o to o First Quarter
Blue Make Better Showing.

Emporia. Kan. Nov. 1.-THE Wash
burn-College of Emporia game here this
afternoon Is being played on q Held 80
slippery that it il impossible for either
team to do effective work. No score
was made by either team in the nrst
quarter. although Washburn had the
ball in College of Emporia territory
nearly the entire quarter, once on thefr
ten yard line. Washburn is playing an
open game.
Washburn at Emporia-First half.
to O..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
PRESS At HUTCHINSON
Begin Two Days Session i'm Salt City
100 Attend.

Hutchinson, Nov. IA hundred
newspaper men and printers from
four states are attending the sessions
of the Southwest Printers Cost con-
greas which began q two days session
today.
The meetings are held in the new
Commercial club rooms, just opened
ON the top floor of a new eight story
ONCE building.
A business session this afternoon
win be followed by a smoker and a
theatre party tonight. Tomorrow the
officers will be chosen !, new place
Of meeting selected and the visitors
shown over the city in motor cars
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
OLD PAP PINKHAM.
He Appeals to Have the Strain
Relieved.

My. Dear Mr.. President: am no quit
ter.
am no kicker.
am no situation-dodger.
I never holler for help as long as I
can wiggle.
don't want to bother you with my
troubles, for you have enough Of your
own, but I ask that something be done
to relieve the strain in Jericho. I my
self have relieved half a dozen strains
since you took Office, but I have at
length tackled one that is giving me
the nightmare.
AS you had a majority of seven
votes in Jericho. and as you proclaimed
that you should be a president of the
people. instead of party. both Mrs.
Pinkham and I inferred that in the
distribution Of the offices number Of
plums would come this way.
Wasn't it perfectly natural that after
80 inferring. 1 should give the wink to
certain of our citizens and ask them in
a whisper what Office they would pre-
fer? The whisp. ring and winking has
kept Jericho quiet until a week ago,
and tht n it played out. Not Jeri-
chOan had got so much as a smell Of
federal office. had toodled them
along until their patience was exhaust
ed. 1t was Moses Goodheart who
headed the revolution. He came into
the pOSt0nCe ana stood at the general
delivery window and pounded on the
shelf and exclaimed:
"Old Pap, you are a consumed liar!'
Whats the matter, Moses?' asked.
And your president is a fraud?"
But why?"
Where's the Office 1 was going to
have?'
But. you see. you voted the wrong
ticket?'
But didn't hollcr the minute Will
son was elected?"
Il think you did, but"
And hain't I one Of the people?'
But. you see, the wheelhorses must
be provided for first"
Wheel jackasses!" he shouted, as he
pounded some more. Tell me right
out. you old nar-do I get an Office or
not?,'
I'll struggle with the president"
mo. you won't! I'll do the struggling
myself. Say. Pap, I'll st TT an out
break here that'll leave a trail of blood
across the continent, and some of it
will be your blood!'
He walked out with that, and 1 can't
hear whether he is getting ready to
dynamite the bridge over Goose creek
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
HAYES HOME BURNED.
Flames Gained Great Headway Be
fore F1remen Arrived.

The residence of James Hayes, flor
list, Seventeenth street and Hogeboom
avenue was discovered on fire at 2:15
o'clock this afternoon Before the fire
department could arrive the flames
had gained such Roadway as to be
beyond control of the firemen.
The roof and upper part OF the
upper story were totally destroyed,
and very little of the contents of the
house was saved.
1t is not known how the fire
ofa rfa6
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
BLUNDER OF A JURY.
Saves . Man ON Trial From Punish
mcnt for Manslaughter.

Ridgeway, Pa, Nov. 1.-THE blum
der of the jury in using the word in
voluntary when 1t should have used
voluntary resulted in the freeing of
s. s. Darvagille, a Pennsylvania rail-
way company detective in connection
with the death of Albert e. Andres of
Kane, Pa Judge Hall in his charge
told the jury to return q verdict of
voluntary granddaughter, as he be-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
First Quarter Lawrence Leads.

First Quarter Lawrence Leads.
In the Lawrence-Topeka high
school game on Washburn field this
afternoon Lawrence scored a touch
down in the first quarter.
The field is muddy and large
crowd is sitting in the rain watching
the game
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14

Comrades of Lincoln Post g. A. X.
are requested to meet at Post Hail at
$40 a. m. Saturday, 18th. to attend
the funeral of COmrade u. 3.
GEORGE HANLEY,
Post Commander.
J. M. MILLER,
Adv Adjutant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
Thaw's Claeuneur Surrenices.

New York, Nov. 14.-Thomas Flood.
chauffeur the sixth Of seven men
indicted in this county for conspiracy
in bringing about the escape Of Harry
Thaw from MatfeAWAn asylum sur
rendered today and was held In $1.0o0
bail
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
Haskell-Ottawa Gam

Lawrence, Kan, Nov. 1.-THE Has
kelI Indian-Ottawa University foot
ball game scheduled here this after
noon was called on on account Of
muddy grounds
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
No Score Salina-st. Marys.

st. Marys. Kan, Nov. 1.-THE Sa-
Lind high school football team IL play
ing the st. Marys college second team
here this afternoon on a muddy field.
No score was made by either team In
the first half
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
Regular Items

COfnmeal, fresh, white or yellow,
1U . d. zSC
Pure Pork Sausage. (our own make.
~. A0C
Salt White Fish, lb. ..... -. .71xC
Pop Corn, lb. SC or s lbs. for. csc
Young Mutton shoulder roast, ~ &c
Mutton legs, Id 15c; lofn or rib
chops, lib. 1Sc
Stick Chilli. (Wolffs) h.. .2Oc
Celery, crisp. well bleached, medium
English Walnuts. new. lb. 18c
Sugar Corn. good quality, cans 15c
dozen. ........ 8SC
Buckwheat Flour, new 1b. 49,. Csc
Sugar Corn, White Horse brand
15c quality can Tic; doz. .$1.25
Mince Meat, fancy quality. lib. 1Oc or
lbs. for Csc
Goldfish, homeless, about lb. brick 15c
Tomatoes. good pack, large cans 1Oc
Butterine Armour's Eastlake, our
leader, 2 lb. brick for. .3Sc
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY.

LOsT-& bill between Topeka State bank
and Crosby Bros store a noon hour to-
day. Reward Can phone S6l.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
MAIL ORDERS GIVEN PROMPT
AND CAREFUL ATTENTION

Butterine, best brands. ID
12Hc, 1Sc, 16c, 2Oc, 22c and ESQ
Canned Peas. new pack. 1oc quality.
can &
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14

Il win save you time and money!