Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-03-07
HASTE IS unknown
Forms Of courtship as Practiced
in Old Spain

Not an Uncommon Thing for Man
and Maid to Remain Engaged for !
Ten Ysars-kIsslns Not Per.
mitted Between Them.
Spain might be termed the land OF
elaboration, for ENTHUSIASTICALLY
in the case of courtship' and marriage
lis done in haste. Indeed, In the
country towns of Andalusia, sudden
marriage creates great surprise, tor.
as Spanish writer says, there 10
nothing In which procrastination 10
carried so far In Andalusia al In the
matter Of engagements"
The Andalusian peasant considers
we'll the step he 10 about to take. and
this consideration 10 very pleasant
way Of killing time. and time IL Of but
little, value in the south Of Spain. IL
ia quite a common thing for q man 70,
be engaged ten years. There is also
a monetary consideration to be taken
into account. the marriage fee In Spain
being high one-namely, 81 or So.
Before coming into the house Of his
fiancee a man has to ask permission
of the father to be his daughters
lover. 1.-The gives it, party is given
to celebrate the engagement, at which
they drink aguardiente, etc, and eat
cakes. Girls are never allowed TO
walk out with their lovers. No kiss
ing Is permitted between them. When
a girl is asked why, she says: I'VE do
not belong to our lovers; II we quar-
relied he could not say that my lips
had ever been his"
This comes partly from pride and
partly from wish not to be depreci.
ated in the matrimonial market. as
lovers in Spain often prove tickle. A
girl known to the writer had been en-
gagged five years when her lover Tilted
her. Six months later she became en-
gagged again. You see, she had only
chatted with her former lover. SO her
matrimonial chances we're quite al
good as before she was engaged at ALL,
Courtship is so public in Spain that!
there cannot be any difficulty In get.
ting evidence for breach of promises
A peasant who Is sued for breach OF
promise and who has resided In the
same province as his fiancee has to
pay 80 much for every year that he
has been engaged to her. Nearly all
the peasants are illiterate and have to.
get friends to write their love letters.
for them.
Although they do not kiss each oth-
er, they put KS and o's in their letters,
the latter signifying embraces. When
a girl first writes to her love she only
addresses him as my appreciated
john" she does not think it at all corr
rect to put my dear john" unless
they have been engaged very long,
time. -t'- -tr-'..
In these days engaged couples be-
longing to the upper classes see q
good deal of each other. They meet
at mass in the morning, chat together
during the hour of siesta. see each oth+
er in the afternoon during the prone
made, go to the same party in the eve
ming, and after supper see each other
and chat together at the window, and
there are. nights when they remain
once more chatting together, their
faces pressed to the bars, until the
rosy fingered dawn appears in the
east.
It is related that a lover getting
married after an engagement of eight
years soon afterward fell into low
spirits from not knowing what to do
with his time.
A peasant girls fance always buys
the furniture, but the girls family
often takes care Of it. which is some'
guaranty that the marriage will take
place. The girls often spend moro
than two years making their house.
linen and trousseau.
Spanish men Of the lower class do
not make good husbands; perhaps this
is why girls appear to care more for
| their mothers than their husbands.
The devotion of daughters to their
mothers is very great. Indeed. to be
a Spanish mother is to be much
adored. I know girl who was great
exasperated with her lover because
when he wrote to her he was always
quoting his mother. The girl satiri-
cally said. 1T was always Mi madre1
mi madre!" .' w.. ~, E..
The houses Of the Spanish poor are
nearly always built round large patios
in which there ia q well that has to-
serve for as many as twenty families4
Some of these patios are very please
ant, being decorated with plants and
shaded In summer by large vines. The
houses are very small, consisting Of
one little room and tiny kitchen.
So, as there is not much housework
to be done, nor much housekeeping, IL
is no wonder peasant girls are anxious
to exchange domestic service for mat
rimony, and become rather aggravated
with their lovers elaboration.
II girl is engaged to q man who
emigrates 80 as to make home for
her, before going out to Join him she
is married by proxy. The girls. how
ever, do not like the now very preva-
lent custom of emigrating. for owing
to it they often lose their lovers. The
English proverb that absence makea
the heart grow fonder" does not al
ways prove true as regards the Spar