New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-19
AS | WAS SAYING

\ Jolly good essay this of "Tay Pays faNors
cultivation of the memory, and all that kind OF tun'
Indeed we were on the very point Of rushing out 10
cultivate orr memory when there came letter from
Mr.. Clarence Il. Portmanteau. which reminded us
that there are emergencies when memory Is sifnp'
nowhere and discretion the whole thing
Three cheers for my glorious Uncle Bill writes
Mr.. Portmanteau. Long may ne wave. res"
lar. roaring roickng rpsnorter that Hah-san''
for another quart any time. and SO dignlhed' L"St
night for instance-or il this morning! Tan
inst say though / distinctly recall the conductors
humping him on the shoulder, somewhere out
among the Oranges and bawlng in his ear 'Whal
street. mister
at this my excellent relative opened one eye me-
coughed discreetly pulled himself together ana saa
in his most stately and distant manner what
streets have your
. toxic NAV find her who a sermon fees Listen,
dear Lady Of the Period once upon time the
Salvatonsts decided Ia send missionaries 10 Japan
So they looked in the picture books and sa" tho
pretty clothes the japanese wear and dressed up
their missionaries that way and started them on
Great success No had the newcomers
sepped ashore in the Mikado's country than al the
people danced and clapped their hands and rent the
ai, with the Right Rev hanzais Welcome to our
cties,' they dib with ragtime expression of piety'
For Hon HelleIujah Lass are rugged like cessna
thank you,
Moral. The Lady Of the Period is terror on Fifth
avenue. but wait tin she takes them to Paris
Never overpay genius. Never pay it half enough
Otherwise It will shut up. like Mr. DooIey or run
around the corner and buy "HarpeTs Weekly IKE
Mr. Norman Iapgood. Scrimp genius. StarVe IT,
sweat II Then it viii stick 10 you like creditor
and chant your praises. and skin YOU only IN su'n
ways as YOU find out and save nice pace lot
YOU in its autobiography
Thanks 10 "blatherskte politicians. labor aE'ators
cars and martnets" IL is clear That the future VI
our great Industries lies beyond the seas 80 glad'
At last some abatement Of that horrid nasty smoke
ANY advertiser will tell YOU that position is half
the hattie: place your appeal where the right people
will see IT, Sound doctrine, Guess where We FOUND
the following
"Gentlemen's Clothing Bought Highest Prices
cash FOR Gentlemen Cast-on Clothing
"Gentlemen's Cast-on Garments Bought. "ood
Prices Cash
where they belonged naturally Under the
glaring fancy -lettered headline: Spec'a'''es 'o'
Women"
And stilI the reformers wonder why married lie
&, America is no longer zone grand. sweet song.
How vo should enjoy meeting the fine fellow who
told the court he could not remember Mr.. Anhut
name" though he had met him on hity occasions
md "d,ned him at his house! Must be an swfu'ly
good proyder'
Foo had that our vast and terrible military cohorts
ara. NOT perrnitted 10 march about the sight Oh one
another might encourage them in these nervous
Zines However. we suppose it is best TO DO ar Tue
President SAYS and not frghten Japan
"Original ideation" is now within the reach OF "''
Won get il by correspondence. Neverthe'ess' we pre-
for Mr. Howells's advice: Keep noteoooN '''
down all the clever things YOU hear Later on ""e"
-, como IN ,ise them YOU will md them amazingly
,r,onaI" Just So Besides. there Is herloru III
mortal epigram: "If It's good II NINE idNe' 'C
,s,ance that little masterpiece Of II. h. Hermann
=, ..rbe Woman's Home Companion: i dare do all
A., ,a,. become a man. Who dares do more j.
.o,,i,o over the telephone" The longer We ailo"
our mind to dwell on this the more c'e"rN We
that we wrote it ourself 80 "