The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-06-27
ABatch Of Smiles

A little town in south Texas does it's
lazy best to support three hotels. Each
sends a Negro porter to meet the
diurnal train, where they vie with one
another, as only darkies can, in their
attempts to get the few travelling men
who stop.
At the present time n Of the big.
good natured Negroes, who seems to
know human nature. is calling out:
Right dis way TO- de statehouse. de
bes' secon' class hotel in town." Then,
with a broad grin. he adds: "Dey
amt no fust class."-Judge.
Mrs. Brown from Boston, has a
colored cook-from Georgia. The
other day Mrs. Brown went into the
kitchen, and Liza put in a request:
Mis- Brown she said. won't you
please. ma'am git me a CALENDAR"
Why. Liza. there's a calendar
hanging by the door. You don't want
another calendar?"
"Yas'm. 1 does. But 1 mean q cal
endar what o presses things
through. OATS de kind OBJ calendar I
wants"
Mrs. Brown had a glimmer.
"Oh, Liza, you mean a colander!"
she exclaimed.
well. it's de same thing" said
Liza, patiently. You uses de broad
a. but doesn't. I just says. plain
calendar"
The late Judge Silas Bryan, the IA
ther Of William j. Bryan, once had
several hams stolen from his smoke
said nothing about 1t to any one. A
few days later a neighbor came to
him.
Say, judge" he said, II heard yew
had some hams stolen t'other night"
Yes" replied the Judge. very con-
fidentially, but don't tell any one.
You and 1 are the only ones who
know it."-National Food Magazine.
A gentleman who "a buying a
turkey from old Uncle Ephraim asked
him, in making the purchase. If it was
a tame turkey.
"oh, yais. sir; it's a tame turkey all
right"
Now, Ephraim. are you sure it's a
tame turkey?"
"oh. yais. sir: dere's no soft O.
doubt bout dat. It's a tame turkey
all right"
He consequently bought the turkey,
and a day or two later. when eating
IL, CdIlc dCTOSS SeNcidi S1lCl. %dteT Oh,
when he met old Ephraim on the
street. he said: We'll. Ephraim. you
told me that was a tame turkey, but
I found some shot in 1t when I was
eating It,"
"Oh, dat war a tame turkey all
right" vas Uncle Ephraim's reiterat-
ed rejoinder. but de fac is. boss, rs
gwine to tell yer in confidence dat
dem ere shot was intended for me"
Youths Companion.
Two London cabbies were glazing at
each other.
'AW, wot's the matter with you?"
demanded one.
Nothing the matter with me. o
You gave me a narsty look" per-
sisted the first.
Me? Why. you certainly ave a
narsty look. hut I didn't give 1t to you.
80 'elp me-"
In the late campaign the following
incident took place, as related by a
man who was in the audience.
Il am willing" said the candidate,
after he had hit the table a terrible.
blow with his fist. to trust the people,"
Great Scott" yelled a little man
in the audience.
i wish you'd open a grocer's shop"
The young a and the girl were
standing outside the front door, hav-
ing q final chat after his evening call.
He was leaning against tho door post,
talking in low tones. Presently the
young lady looked round to discover
her father in the doorway. clad In a
dressing gown.
why. father, what in the world is
the NATTER" she inquired.
john said the father. addressing
himself to the young man, you know
staying late. and I am not going to
complain Of that now but for good
ness sake stop leaning against the
bellpush. and let the rest of the fam
fly get some Sleep"