The Washington herald., 1913-09-26
FEW HAVE GRACE
TO BEAR CRITICISM
Wounded Pride Comes First and Last
With Forgefulness of Need
of Healing.
By FRANCES sHAFFER.

Yes, it hurts nightly to be told of
Jones worst weaknesses; of course. II
hurts. for that is the way OF the knife
that heals. But there are things that
hurt rather more, when one learns them.
And perhaps this is one of them:
The talk had turned upon a woman
who bristles all over with disagreeable
little tricks and with the glaring faults
that simply will not down. And because
she is not half bad. down at the heart
of her where the real self is found. some
one asked IL there was no one who
would undertake the delicate problem Of
telling her, mildly, kindly as might be,
just where her troubles abide. Because
she wants friends without number and
cannot quite understand why they run
away.
And what do you suppose was the an
swer?
Simply this: That no one cares enough
for her to assume the perhaps thankless
task of attempting to do what should
have been done away back in the easier
days of childhood. She has no home
folk to be outspokenly kind. no close
friends who are willing to pay the price
of frankness-and generally there is a
price. For there are not very many who
have the grace to accept a well-meant
criticism in the same kindly spirit in
which it is offered. Wounded pride comes
first, last, and all the time, with forget
fulness of the need for healing: and II
qells for strength of purpose TO make
one willing to do the probing.
No One To Save Her.
And so when this young woman un-
thinkingly says and does the things that
are certain to jar upon others. there is
| no one at hand with a background of in
terest to save her from herself and she
goes on her disagreeable. laundering way.
never guessing what It is that is robblng
her OF friends.
Just once, in a spirit of half-pity, a
semi-friend ventured a suggestion or
two: but my! the foodgates of attack
were opened and she hurriedly Withdrew:
for she was one of the many who did
not care very much. Real love and
friendship are rather long-sufrering, but
with only half-heaTted interest, nobody Is
going to burden herself with the odium
OF being too officious," and possibly
with a charge that is worse. For it is
far more comfortable to step aside and
let the faults do their worst.
But the young woman loses rather
much when she permits resentfulness.
vanity, self-love, or what-not TO stand
between her and the gracious self she
would like to be. And so do all of US
when we get il into our foolish heads
that we are above the need of friendly
Iadmonitions. Believe il or not as We
may. it is a mighty lack in the life of
any one who misses the Outspoken truths
uttered in the privacy of home, for II is
there that frankness oftenest is found.
II is not over-pleasant even there to
have a mirror held up to our astonished
selves. rejecting horrid little imperfec-
tions never dreamed OF before, and IL is a
bit hard TO smother the hurt and refuse
to vince under the pruning-knife. But
what great matter whether II is pleasant
and easy or not, II the knife helps the
blemishes to go the way that all bad
ness and ugliness should go?
Criticism Is Healing.
For protest il we will. resent 1t II We
must, there is healing in needful criti-
cism blunt or delicate, according to the
temper of the critic. At the time. we
may not think so. may feel just little
like striking back. for We are mighty
sensitive, we foolish humans; but when
common sense shocks us awake We know
very well that the bitter dose was
needed.
And IL is rather subduing TO remem-
ber that except in the rare cases where a
bit of spitefulness or other unworthy
motive creeps in, il is those who care
the most that will take upon themselves
the disagreeable mission. Rather humil
iatinE, too, to know that the casual
friend or acquaintance. those who do not
care enough to bother. see the weak
nesses just the same, but they smile and
pass on with a comment that would
make us squirm indeed If we guessed it
Just in passing. we womenfolk quietly
noting the strange, strange spectacles
that some Of our public men are max
ing of themselves throughout the length
and breadth OF the land, are wondering
If in their family circles and among their
professedlv faithful friends there is not
one brave enough and kind enough to
tell them whittier they are drifting.
Or perhaps-have they been warned by
the faithful few or the many, and have
they vaingloriously turned away? Verify
il looks that way.