The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-05-06
ABatch ofSmiles

An alert little five year old was TAX
ing a walk in a city park with her
mother for the first time, and when
they arrived at the boat landing where
the swan boats We're waiting for pas
sengers little Elsie pulled away and
declared vigorously that she did not
want to go, and as her mother urged
her she broke into tears.
This sudden fear was so unusual
that her mother could not understand
it, until she heard the boatman's call:
Come along, come along-ride
clear around the pond-only 5 cents
for ladies and gents-children thrown
Poor old Pat, while walking down
the street, received a nasty blow on
the head from a brick which happen
ed to fall from a building in course of
construction.
Still, he managed somehow to keep
his wits. and the first thing he did
after he had been taken home and
put to bed was to send for a lawyer,
whom he instructed to take action
against the builders.
Some weeks later. when Pat vas
convalescent. the lawyer called again
and reported hat he had succeeded in
settling the case: then blandly he
handed over a Is note.
How much did you make the man
pay?' asked Pat.
with costs on both Sides" replied
the lawyer, "f200."
Two hundred pounds. and you give
me five. Bejabbers, who got hit by
that brick-you or me?"
ZeuXis, the celebrated artist of an
cient Greece. had painted the cherries
so true to life that. the birds came and
pecked at them.
of course, the rick pork packer who
paid $4,000 for the canvas couldn't
stand for that.
Paint in a scarecrow:" he COM
manded. with an air of one accustom-
ed to meet emergencies.-Puck.
The football match was over. and a
large crowd surrounded the small gate
the only exit. when a small boy was
seen climbing the wall in an endeavor
to get out without being crushed.
When almost at the top a policeman
saw him and shouted out to him: Eth,
lad. come down and go out the same
way that YOU came in"
The reply came back as The lad
dropped ove the other side, Il air
doing that, mister"
The schoolmaster at a certain viii
lage school asked the following ques-
ton:
Suppose in a family there are five
children, and mother has, only four.
potatoes between them. Now she
wants to give every child an equal
share. What is she going to dog"
Silence reigned in the DON Every
body calculated very hard, until a
small boy stood up and gave the fol-
lowing unexpected solution: Mash
the potatoes, sir!"
She had engaged a girl. At the end
Of their first day together the maid
was instructed to mount the steplad-
der and wind h tall fourteen-day
clock. You have to turn the key
fourteen times to wind it clear up"
said the mistress. "Once for each day
key seven times. then stepped down.
why didn't you finish !" her mistress
asked. Because" said the girl, II am
not sure 1 shall be here longer than
one week, and I am not going to do
the next girls work."
~ was very happy" said the on
lessor. when, after years OF wooing,
she finally said Yes"
And why did you break of the en-
gagement 10 soon after?" asked his
friend.
"Man. it was she who dissolved it."
Really" said the friend. How
did. that happen"
1T was due to my accustomed alb
sent mindedness. When a few days
later / called at her home I again
asked her to marry me.'-Youth's
Companion.