Ellsworth American., 1913-10-08
A DEPUTY
SHERIFF
D. NJ QuAp
Copyright, fsi1 by Associated Lit
erary Press

\
The Widow Henderson was exactly
six feet four inches in height and
weighed zoo pounds. Whether IL was
six feet four In her stockings OF with
her shoes on Is none OF the readers
business She was houely as q bur.
| dock and as rugged as an oak. She
had a voice like bass drum and the
| strength OF an OK.
You may have noticed that big men
| always marry little women. and vice
versa Her deceased husband was
only five feet tall and his weight was
Just an even hundred. When she
moved to Grand Ledge from distant
town she soon ran across Peter Hipps
and marked him down for husband No
2. Peter was five feet tall and weigh
ed ninety eight pounds. His face was
smooth. ard his voice was giriish.
The young man was by no means
dull witted. but he was made the vic
tim Of much chatting and joking The
climax came when the sheriff OF the
county appointed him deputy. Grand
Ledge was a pretty hard town, and
there were score OF farmers around
who came in at least once week and
made il worse. Peter Hipps was a
cipher TO them. Whenever he tried 10
exert his authority he was carried out
and dumped into n mudhole or drop
ped of the bridge over the creek.
Sometimes he was chased out OF town
aud didn't dare return for two or three
days
The Widow Henderson heard and
saw and knew. and one day when she
met the lightweight deputy ON the
street she said:
Baby. you sure need protector.
Shall we get uIarriedf"
"You bet"
And married they were next day. and
on the next the bride walked seven
miles TO the county seat town and into
the sberios office 10 say to that official;
Il want TO be deputy sheriff at
Grand Ledge"
I'm looking for some one"
We'll, you needn't hook any further.
II can't straighten thea kinks out
within month III resign"
'.Mebbe You know / appointed Pete
Hipps as joker qaersed the officer.
Yes. / dc. and you can appInt me
the same way II you want TO. but
there went be much joking after ! get
started I'll make it very solemn
business for most OF EN-"
We'll, expect there'll be lots Of
talk about It. but you shall be a dep
uty."
The town considered that marriage
as the greatest joke for twenty years.
Every time It was mentioned dozen
men hooted and took another drink.
They paraded In front of the brides
house and sang and swore and cat
called and scared poor Peter until he
crept under the bed aud walled:
Il thought you was going 10 do
something
mo hurry. baby" was the reply.
I'm giving the calf all the rope IL
wants. 1t amt agin the law to boot
around when couple gets married"
Next forenoon half a dozen horny
handed sons Of t0Il came in to self their
butter and eggs and have some fun.
The fun was TO consist of taking three
or four drinks apiece and then chuck
ing the newlyweds of the bridge TO
gether. Word was sent them that II
they did not appear voluntarily the
mob would pay the house a visit.
well. s.aby, the time has GOMEZ"
| grimly announced the bride TO the
groom.
Lord, but I'm scarf TO death.' re
piled Peter as his teeth began to
| chatter.
Baby. lemme tell you something
| There's going to be O row. and we
shall both be in ii. You pin on your
badge. get your handouts and club,
and we are going out TO crack heads
| IL you don't fight like man nine feet
high I'll take you over my knee and
| spank you before the whole town.
| Come on now
Pete was all a-shiver, but he obeyed
her There were fifty men waiting In
| front Of the postofiice. and Of the num-
ber at least twenty were hilarious and
| ripe for mischief.
ITO the creek. To the creekr' was
| shouted as the bride and groom halted
| and faced them.
Now. baby said the wife in quiet
voice. ''the fun is due TO begin. Pick
/ out the hard cases and strike ike the
kick Of a mule. It's public spanking
| IL yon show the white feather
With a couple Of warwhoops that
| would have done credit TO Comanche
chiefs. bride and groom sailed in. The
toughs We're taken unprepared. The
| clubs were welded without mercy. and
the rabble broke and fed with hardly
defense. They were followed and
/ given more club. and then To the num-
Der Of twelve were arrested. locked up
| for couple OF hours, and then taken
before the justice of the peace and
fined 81 each. The next day six men
who couldn't see the point were haul