New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-26
AS | WAS SAYING

II was quite a shock to Mr. Collier when he opened
his newspaper the other morning and learned that
he was about 10 cross the Atlantic By aeroplane.
The more he thought Of IL the more skeptca he be-
came so he published q denial. though not before
grave mischief had been done.
There was the effect on Mr. Norman Hapgood for
one thing The poor fellow has grown positively
morbid over the pace Mr.. Collier seemed determined
TO set, and will he unable TO take charge Of Har-
per's Weekly" before August
But particularly deplore the influence this
canard has had that roaring daredevil, Dr. Lyman
Abbott He is getting on in years. and was unpre-
pared for the wild exutant glee Of so soon dis
covering a way 10 get even with the Howlands for
deserving TO the Independent"
Ten thousand new Masters of This and Doctors OF
That are still Growing over their commencement de-
grees; whereas stop! lookll listen!!! Right spanR
on the editorial page Of Judge" an entire column
and half about Guess the universities Will feel
pretty cheap, but warn them not toi come
wheeding around their Bonded knees. teasing US
TO accept a whole alphabet, 1t is now too late We
have become snppy
Thanks, Judge" especially for the illustraton--a
stork surmouned by the very spittn image" Of
Infantcus Why, bless you, own kodak never
snapped such a glorious likeness Of that heavenly
little devil.
However 1t appears that Judge" might have put
II thcker-and Will next time. no doubt for OF
late there has been difference between We
poked fun at the bootjack joke (back fence moon
light, cat-you know the scene) and Judge" defends
It, pleading that these ancient symptoms OF humor
are dear TO the nations heart. So they We
crawl, though not before apologzing for the nation
Have you never noticed acrobats gesture-hand
TO his chest then coming out straight palm up? It
is his signal to the audience to applaud. Acrobats
al
the consequence. Oh, stillness And begin to
see that bootacks mothers -inlaw, mules old maids.
onions twins, Jonah and the church sociable oyster
stew serve somewhat the same purpose They are
signals Ancient, familiar and unalterabe, you can
trust them to notify nation when. although
gagged in the solemn and awful act Of reading 1t is
permitted to snort.
We refuse TO believe the publishers announcement
that Mr. Bryan compiled The Worlds Most Famous
orations" Modest soul that he is how could he?
Mr.. Brand whitlock. Mayor of Toledo. Ohio Cpro-
nounced Tledo Ahia), has RETAINED from prosecut-
ing "A September Morning under the Pure Nude
Law and applaud his discretion. We hate to
see September Mornings cad in red satin kimonos
or with green bathing dresses daubed on. These
additions, visible in a hundred shop windows, empha-
size the sinful nude sky the degrading nude hills
and the perfectly internal and outrageous nude lake.
n. Bit was the shamelessness Of the sky the
hills and the lake that started this whole crusade
Any morning, now you may wake up and find
New York red hot sizzling furnace. and how you
will sigh for some occupation that will enable you
to sit absolutely STILL keep your attention off the
heat and not tax your brain in the least! Accord
ingly 1t is with sincere pleasure believe u.s. that We
unfold our suggestion that you try the ingenious
practice Of
Now you've done It! Go sizzle! The great. merci-
full, man-woman and Child saving secret will remain
forever locked within bosom. x. L. II.