The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-23
Fighting With Steel Gaffs
Some Yarns of the Courthouse Gang

over there is just pizen against each other
If Lineville man was leading in prayer
at prayer meeting he'd quit the job
and adjourn the proceedings any time to
go out and scrap with one of them Ash
land citizens. Both towns are full of real
cultivated people, each roofing for his
own home and hating the other town.
"A drummer couldn't sell an Ashland
merchant gold dolRrs at 30 cents each if
he knew the coin came from Lineville.
And, gents, it is shure a gladdening Wis
ion to see the CORY festivities when the
rival baseball teams of these contending
towns hitch in match game. Everything
fights from the nursing infants up to
the oldest inhabitant, and the man who
hasn't an ear chawed off or a broken
nose the next day is looked upon as a
traitor to his town.
tWhen the census man begun to get
busy there was some sputterng around
among the leading citizens of these rival
burgs, as the Inhabitants of both towns
was ready to bet as high as c1ts back
that his hamlet had the most people by
a large majority. Every hillbilly of these
beligerent localities buckled on his guns
and herded up the population of adjoining
coyes, hollows and caves. Lineville
claimed that when the census enumera-
tor came around and struck long
straight street of that town of Ashland,
with sixteen houses in the row. that the
Ashlanders worked in woman with trip
lets to be counted in the first house, and
while the census man was taking drink
with her husband, that she slipped out
the back way with the triplets and got
counted again in house No. 2, and so OH
down the line until the missus and her
tiiplets was multiplied into 4S Inhabitants
male and female. Ashland maintained
that Lineville had moved out her cor
porate line until 73 of the residents of
Chulafinne, Cleburne county, was includ-
ed in the city boundaries of that ,bigoted
LineviIe mudhole, and that the census
enumerator was drunk and saw double
during his entire stay there.
THE contest went on, each day the cit
izens of both towns getting as bitter as
dogwood berries over the question of pop
ulation, and some of the main leaders il;
both towns impairing their values as So
cial factors with too much liquor. When
the returns came in, as footed up by
Uncle Sans enumerators, it was given
out cold and prompt that the hustling lit
tie city of Ashland possessed within her
corporate limits nine more population,
male and female, real. personal and mixed
size, shape. character and description,
than had the classic incorporation of Line
vile.
"Of course Ashland had torchight
procession, all-day barbecue, CREASED pig
exercises and speaking on the grounds.
in celebration thereof, and Linevile, after
consulting lawyers about contesting the
returns, settled down to the conclusion
that 1t was no use, but after passing an
ordinance eXemptng from taxes and add
ing bonus of $40 to every married couple
with a pair of twins for the next five
years, gave out statement that --sh-
land had secretly sent a wagon over to
Talladega and had borrowed 10 children
from the orphans home just a week be-
fore the census enumerator hit Ashland;
and that the incorporation of Lineville
scorned and deprecated such duplicity
and padding of the census on the pnrt
of a one-horse town with such a un-
certain wobbling and transitory popula-
ton.
They are good people. all right. over
there, if they do scrap among them
selves, and they have the best schools,
more minerals and the best water Of any
county in the state-and after awhile they
will get TO using the water.