Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-06-19
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN
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Whatsoever man reaps some other
fellow probably planted.
Baseball is good game, provided
your team wins occasionally.
You can't judge the quality of the
dinner by the tone of the bell.
June seems to be furnishing all kinds
of days, from the rare to the we'll done.
While swatting the fly tbs we'll to
remember to cover the sugar and but
ter bowls.
This town has several men who are
too light for heavy work and too heavy
for light work.
When man admits that he is OF a
FOOLS errand you need not hesitate to
take his word for it.
The woman who persists in wearing
a slashed skirt should at least see that
there are no holes in her stockings
The man who tries to hide behind a
woman's skirts in this year of grace
must be thinner than his own yellow
streak.
If man wore a green hat, a red coat
a purple shirt and white shoes, he'd he
arrested. But girl can do it and look
pretty.
Preachers are always praised in pub
lie, whether they deserve it or not.
But they get the hide taken off them in
private.
A local bridegroom should under
stand that a wife never comes with
directions how to take her. You must
experiment for yourself.
When liquid patent medicine is to
be taken in large doses at frequent in
tervals one can easily guess what name
its principal ingredient goes under.
A woman gets mad if she sees another
woman wearing a hat like hers. A
man won't wear a hat unless it is Just
like the ones other men are wearing.
|. That South Dakota new law that re
quires saloons to be pfacarded seems to
go on the theory that parched people
up there have a hard time to find
thirst quenchery.
When you see that certain boy wear
ing out his clothes with whisk broom
and blushing when you catch him at it,
he is no longer a boy. for some girl
imagines he is man.
Last night man on the corner was
heard to remark that Paying alimony
and old boose bills are about the same
thing. All you get for your receipts is
the memory of headache.
The capitol employee who literally
kicked an 'insidious lobbyist" out of
the Office got more results in five
minutes than the senate investigating
committee has achieved in weeks.
A local minister asked boy on
Broadway the other day if he knew
where little boys go to when they
smoker The boy replied Yes. up the
alley" The boy was not questioned
any farther. -
Another much needed invention is a
golf ball that will whistle whenever it
is lost Ask r. J. Loveland, he might
be interested in such an invention and
Frank Adams wouldn't mind having
some of the finished product.
The more autos in Iowa, the better.
After she gets few hundred thousand
machines, there will be no more horse
play with road plans and road legisla-
ton, but the state will proceed to build
real roads, and the auto owners will
pay for them.
A pickpocket selected 20 well dressed
girls at Harlan last week and stole the
contents of their silver mesh bags
When he got into an alley and counted
up he had 10 boxes rouge, 20 banker
chiefs, go pieces of chewing gum, 20
dirty chamos powder rags and ~
cents.
A fellow down on Lower Broadway
took time to count the automobiles in
the Atlantic Sociability Run Tuesday
and informed John Martinsen that the