davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

thin to vote but how ar-re ye goin' to stop thin
I don't know. Nobody knows. FIR thousands iv
years TIL greatest n1arrid minds In TIL wurruld
has been puzzled to decide what to do with lady
whin she stops bein' a lady an acts like gintle-
man at quarther to twelve o'clock on Saturdah
night. In her own proper sphere she's as ginte
as lily an often too tired to debate her rights
But whin she steps out v tn rehnin' infoonce "
tn kitchen an begins hurin things it is best f'r
thoughtful man to seek til seeclusion iv his
libry at tn iv tn sthreet an wait till she
sees hersilf in TIL loolein glass.
eye were all right as long as tn ladies come
to ye an pleaded f'r vote an begged it as
favor firm ye. Ye winked ye'er eye at yeer fel-
low man an chuckled to yeersilf an thin ye
turned to tn low spoken pettyshuner with tn
white curs an tn little lace cap an ye said :
We wud be glad to considher ye'er prayer, but
we have too much respict f'r ye to grant it. Th'
rough hurly -bury iv ponytcks is not sootable f'r
such dainty flowers as ye Go home an cook tn
supper
An they wint. But someway or another they
heerd iv gr-reat truth iv pollyickal progress
that men has kept secret f'r years, which is
that nanny fearless statesman wud rather lend
an ear to tn cry iv tn oppressed thin TO lump
iv coal an tn like iv that Th' rule iv polyticks
is, DO that fr me I'll do this to ye, an tn
prayer is not complete without both sections bein'
in it. To be SUCCESSFUL reforner yeve got first
to be a nuisance. There amt NANNY principles
that statesman wud go to tn stake an be burned
f'r, but there amt e'er wan that he wuddent
give up rather thin be pestered II ye threaten
to shoot man onless he gives ye something he
may take chance on ye'er ben bad shot But
if we tell him yell put cinder in his eye an keep
it there till he grants what ye want we've got him.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

but Oracle she says. Thin whin he presooms to
seize her coat sleeve with tn thumb an foretlnger
she sI1reks Brute ? an falls to tn pavemlnt IN
a faint Th' polsrnan, lost to all snse Nv pity
puts smelln salts to her nose an brutally ruoS
her forehead an wrists with cologne She doesn't
regain consciousness ontil she is lifted on tn
shoulders iv til officer an his comrades, whin IT
all comes back to her at wanst. Experienced
polismen, Hnnissy, tell me it's almost impossible
to get an onasy gintlenan to go along with ye
if he doesn't want to onless ye first take tn pre-
caution iv dhroppin' piece iv timber on his head
lust back Nv TIL ear. Thin think what it must be
f'r modest constables to convey frettul lady
through tn busy sthreets iv large city.
"Whin they hn'y get her to tn polls eoort an
tn Judge asks her is she guilty or not guilty she
pegs TIL ink stand at him. He slips undher tn
desk while pronouncin' sintence on her an on'y
comes out whin male sympathizer Is brought In.
Thin he has chanst to relieve his feelin's IN
safety. Whin tn lady is carrid away to jail an
her brutal captors has gone to tn hospital to have
their wounds dhressed she refuses TO ate amy
thing. This is conduct so unheerd iv in England
that tn goverrnint don't know how to dale with
it. They stock tn cell with sponge cake, picked
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

No man wants to be CONTINUOUS martyr on
small scale all his life An statesmen arre always
more sinstive to pain thin ordhinry people.
That's what makes thin statesmen.
amt sayin', mind ye, that this is tn right
theery, but it's tn wan tn ladies iv England has
got into their feeble but tcnacyous intellecks.
An will say this. they're well equipped be ma
ture f'r their task With thin its no longer,
Won't ye listen to Our prayer, 0 stately lords?
but Give us tn vote or we'll make life burden
to ye.' Ivry mornin' some Of consarvitive MINI
Der iv parlymint who thinks that woman has
reached TIL highest pint in her mintal deviopmint
whin she has larned tn herrn bone stitch, wakes
up just In time to put out fire in his clothes
closet that's been set be tn wife iv his bosom.
He goes down TO breakfast to find an imitation
dinnynite bomb cheerfully cracelin' undher tn
table. He quenches it firm tn taypot, an afther
dustin tn imitation prussic acid off tn eggs ates
his breakfast with as much relish as he can con-
sidhrin' that his toast has been wrapped up be tn
hired girl in pamphlet calm on him to reninl-
Der Mrs. Pankhurst an that his II year old
daughter is hrin' crokay balls at him through tn
window But it Is not till he goes out on tn goluf
coorse to prepare hmsilf fr his jooty iv governln
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

XII SEE" said Mr.. Dooley, " that lady
down in New York says that if we don't
u give thin tn vote be tn year nineteen
fifteen they'll do in this counthry what they're
doin' in England"
I'D like to be chief iv polls f'r about five
ninyits if they thry it," said Mr.. Hennessy.
"What wud ye do. ye big, sthrong man, to tn
little pets7' Mr. Dooley asked "Th' last time
see ye in debate with tn family circle it was
not an argynint but foot race that ye won"
"Td-Pd-I don't know what I'd do, but I'd
do something" said Mr.. Hennessy.
Spoken like prime ministher," said Mr..
Dooley II must say that We take broad. states
manly view iv yeer jooty as man, an wan that
has nanny prcidints in histhry. Firm tn Tins
iv Solomon, an befure, whiniver marrid man
or other PROFESSIONAL diplomat has found himself
in wrangle with tn fair they'se been ony wan
thing he cud do, an that was to wish she was
gintleman f'r few rinyits so he cud take kick
at her. But this transformation bein' impossible
in nature, dye mind tn prudent statesman will
grab his hat while there is yet time an take tn
steps to TIL sthreet at wan jump, showin' tn
superiority iv his sex be bangin tn dure afther
him II possible
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17
stuffed figures

lines, currant jelly, ice crane, briled lobster, an
other dainties supposed to tempt tn female palate
but she won't touch thin. IF twas a man that
scorned tn rude but wholesome Jail fare tn jailer
wud say. Thank ye, number nine hundherd an
fifty an carry it home 10 his family. An tn
mex day tn ndon1itle spirit wud be willin' to ate
his boots. But tn lady spurns it ontil tn prime
ministher says angrily; Very well, if ye won't
ate yell have to get out or tn cook will Ye've
hurt his feens tur-rbly be refusin' his dishes
An he sets her free an she goes out an attinds
bankts in her honor ontil tn doctor tells her it's
time to go dtr again, an she returns to Jail
This here application iv tn feminine argy-
mint of tantrum to pollyticks is roonin' tn dis
position v English statesmen. Wan iv thin can't
go TO parlynnt fr little rest without some lady
throws something at him She breaks into his
home she turns up at church an INTERRUPTS his
prayers, an she aven goes so far in sacrilege as
TO climb out on tn race thrack and spile tn
chances iv a 3 year old that he's backed down
firm twinty to wan to avens. It's tur-rble
How's it goin to end Faith, | don't know,
but it's knockin all the pothry out v our relations
with tn fair sex. There's our frind Hogan
He's been expen pothry about tn ladies f'r so
nanny years that / have it be heart. They're
this an they're that They're etarnal Joy an
everlastin' love Angels don't look like thin, but
on'y pretindto. They're perfection nobly planned,
says he But whin wan iv thin wonderful
crathers comes up an thries to cash in his adiec-
tives f'r vote he wants to lock her up It's hard
t'r lady to think he's on tn square with her
whln ne tells her men wud be br,ltes without her
afther he's ordhered polisnlan to chase her away
firm tn polls
An be tn same token it's not gon 10 be aisy
fr pote to write pothry about sinsitive plant
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

| know iv no battle in tn wurruld that's so
onakel as wan between rae lady an perfck
sintien1an If We win We lose an if We lose ye
lose 1t is shameful to tn prime ninisther iv
England 10 be slapped be Mrs Pankhurst, but it
is akelly shameful f'r him to slap her, It's hard
to say whether It's more dsgraceful to bate wan
" these gifts iv Hiven as to be baten be her Th'
modlrcn lady is far firm ben tn soft thing that
she was in tn days whn primitive man coaxed
her TO do his biddin' with tn shin bone iv an lily
plant Like as not tn poor weak thing has just
come home fr m afthernoon at tn gymnasium
an ii amt amy twinty to wan tn crool tyrant
Wuddcn't get licked On tn other hand. If he
happened to put his right acrost first, no natther
il he done it to save his life, half tn neghborhood
wud turn out to lynch him May Hiven sind that
ii I am liver called on to choose between victhry
an defeat at tn hands iv wan v these ginte
priestesses iv 1h' hresde me nimbe feet will save
me honor F'r shud I win ivry chivarous soul
will want me hanged an il lose I'll be t1' vic
tim fr TIL rest iv ME life iv all who love an aisy
mark, an that's tn entire fghtin' wurruld
Yes, sir; ye gallant marrid fellows ARE up
against it. It's all right fr us bachelors. This
is none iv our battle If tn ladies iv America
takes il into their dear little heads f'r to adopt
tn tactics v their sisters in England III offer
sarvices to thin as Instructor. I'll organize
compny iv sharpshooters an have thin ont in me
back yard practicn peggin' bricks at stuffed fig
ures iv tn cabinet An I'll be out arly dhressed
in me best on iliction mornin', an twill be: Good
mornin' fellow citizen. How well yere lookn
this blessed day. That's very becomin' bonnet
ye have on top iv ye'er goolden hair an matches
tn blue iv ye'er eyes well anything cud
excipt Hiven's own bright sky. Give ye vote,
ME dear? With ali tn pleasure in tn wurruld
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17
in
dfeuresi iv

tn Umpire an finds that his maiden aunt has
burned Votes for women with acid on tn put
tin green that he tears off fr tn house iv COM
mons an puts on his hat an gets up an demands
to know what tn deluded govermnt is goin' to do
to PROTECT tn most sacred institutions iv Britain.
9TH prime ministher afther castin bold an
defiant glance at tn gal1'ry to see that no ladies
ar-re prisint announces in an angry whisper that
tn govermnt is preparin to discuss tn advisable
ity " considhrin' putin down these outrages
with an ir'n hand In TIL future ofhnders will be
threated Just as if they were men, on'y tn coun-
thry must reminder that this is impossible He
wud say that TIL prsint intintion is to keep thin
in Jail as long as they came to stay an thin to
turn thin out without mercy. 1t is not thrue
that Mrs. Pankhurst has been denied tn use iv
curlin' r'ns while in prison She has not ony
used thin on her own head but on tn head iv tn
chief warden, tn physician, an sivral iv TIL Jail
ers He regretted to report that siv'ral vally-
able oficyals has suffered tn loss v their thumbs
in feedn TIL orisners forcibly, an he is seeryous-
ly consdhrin takin' tn Victorya Cross away firm
tn military an givin' it to tn posmen detailed
to pinch tn suffraget leaders
That afthernoon as tn prime ministher starts
fr home undher sthrong guard iv polls a tall.
blonde lady, iv ladylike appearance, takes brick
firm her reticue an pitches it into his stovepipe
hat. A polisman is sint to arrest her. He goes
up to her politely an gettin quite red in the face
says: 'Vilet. will ye give me tn pleasure iv
waltz as far as tn callybooseP will not. says
she, hittin' him over tn head with her satchel
Croo monsther,' says she hurlin' No. 5
double A into his midst. Down with tn tyr
amy v man. says she, stabbin' him with hatpin
An besides she says, me name Is not Viet
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

who's sthrugglin' fr vote with l..
eyes. He'd find 1t hard wurnI as' a
Lines to Della Poorin' Molas,..N ,sN u .
Box or On Seein' Pansy SCI y ino
Thrack.' Dye suppose Askitb o. sle . 4
house an seein' lady hitched 10 'a h;n oa
dog chain wud speak iv her as 80 ,sNse
little thorns an sweet as English ,tssa !.
her 4e can bet he wudden't No 49, 9
think iv a polisman on his bach ~ : 'u9's y
with a suffrage leader dancn, ~ :. - =.
firm that pote Hogan knows: 'H.,. Y !
lady! 0, SO light iv foot Or ,u.s ~ sa' g
copper was sint to lade tn boochou, 'iu H.. I
hurst off to tn rest cure, wud h. -. M
out an accident policys 4a
Except I be by SYLVIA in ~ -.
There is no music in TIL nigAssss,sI ss
What he wud say wud be, .cr..
SYLVIA in tn night I wudden't p.ss /,
night stick 1t wudden't stack !,
pothry, but 'twud be betther st,t.,s.'s,
It's very hard to know what n 4 3
who refuses to be cooed to, an h ,oo.. \
though tn language " anty-nuutvaJ ~
goin' into tn discard f'r awhile. lfHos.
give these gintle things vote he'll h,,. Z
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-08-17

his adjectives. An aven II they DO gSH
ticks it's goin' to be difficult Fl p0h p
praises iv a lady that's got tn Job " onY
that he craved f'r hirnsilf. An VIII
firmly as 7 believe in TIL akequaiy w
dhraw til line at putin thin on III p'u'
"They haven't done thatT' Mf' =
asked in frightened whisper
"They have" said Mr., Dooley. -"
black an white: Ten women appps
polls foorce.' That ought to about enc :
tn troobadoor. | do not hesitate
nawthin' cud injooce me to twans n' H
undher tn windows iv tn Deer1ng 'uA.
Much as am tn slave iv tn sex an g'
admire an love thin all, twuo S''u'a -.
lalitv to be asked to set IN IN "''0
narl with me arm around pol'naA
iver so much a lady. An yet WIN ~
officer in tn circumstances VINO WV q
90 along with lady that had s'uD
an a revolver in her pocket In 0a'
wud save him wud be she m'snu ~, ID,
find her pocket But think " :. !. A u
impeeryal man iv bein' dhrasseD u,e,p l. 4
wan iv these harmless vestalS' a, -, ida
| wud think nawthin again ye ~ ,r, \
Muldoon took We ir1-that IS y! r.. n
spictable fight But to hea' @ nr,aw
Jagged be Officer Lucy Larkspa' s,ra
heart. I'd niver want to see ye ,,.,,,s
"Now. look here" said M. W.. rIs ID
want to know right now whens ~
things or not Where dye ''anv. :, ..3
"Well," said Mr. Do0ley' .,,Ivtj.ss
with Hogan whin he SAD l,,din' p sts
rough f'r women. But ai'ns' = ,' ,iiy, tha
done in England I'm afraid to to i''t e. psl
because they may be too 'sr rous p.p ps
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04

Adopting the recommendations OF
his Sectratry of State, William j.
Bryan, President Wilson issued state
ment reversing the Chinese policy of
the Taft administration. Under Pres
ident Taft, the United States had been
linked with Great Britain, France,
Germany, Russia and japan, in dis
tributing the proposed debt Of the Re-
public of China, known as the six
Power loan" amounting to Sl25, 900, :
900, among the dominant banking
houses of those countries. The Amer
ioan banking houses to share in the
handling of this loan, to the extent OF
$2f, 100000. we're j. Pierpont Morgan
81 &C.. Kuhn, Loeb & Co.. the Nation
al City Bank of New York and the
First National Bank of New York, all
of them members Of the Morgan group.
1t has heen the back wardness Of the
Republic of China in agreeing to the
onerous conditions imposed by the
banking interests through their re-
spective governments that has so long
prevented the recognition of that Re,
public as a nation. The international
policy of which it is paIt, and which
has come to be known as dollar di-
plomaoy." ia now repudiated by the
United States.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04

William J. BIyan's compliment to
the British government when in his
st. Patrick's day speech at Chicago be
referred to the coming of home rule in
Ireland and the Disappearance of
Lords'rule throughout tho British En-
pire, was Of kind TO irritate tho Tory
newspapers of Great Britain. Not
from anything offensive in Mr. B'y,
nn's language or spirit. There was
nothing of that, observes an exchange.
But from the fact itself, which Brit
ssh tories deplore and over which
British democrats rejoice. Because
our Secretary of State offended few
Tory newspapers ACROSS the water u 'y
no means follows thnt DO offended tue
British people or tho British govern
ment, What could be more agree
able to those people and that govern
meut, than this extra, official assur-
race Of the sympathy OF our people
nd our government with democratic
progress 10 Great britainS
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
rurk;sh' ARTILLERY.

Authorities tell us that the Turks owe
their reverses In recent years to their
weakness 10 artillery. In 1853 it was by
virtue of their artillery that they cap
tured Constantinople. In 1852 Hun
garian named Orban came to Constan-
tinople and offered his services to the
Greek emperor as the "ablest founder
In history" Constantine offered him
unsatisfactory conditions and he es-
capped to Mohammed H., who com
manded him to cast gigantic cannon
as proof of his talent 0rban took three
months over the task, and the cannon
was called probably as an omen Ba.
silican The sultan issued warning
proclamation concerning the day on
which II wcu!d lie tested In Adrianople,
with good reason. for the explosion was
heard for thirteen miles around. The
size of the cannon was heroic. Fifty
yoke of oxen were necessary to move
1t, 200 men marched at the side to sup
port 1t, 200 engineers went in front to
level the road and fifty carpenters to
make bridges. Westminster Gazette
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
smoking IN Winter,

A physician writing to the Family
Doctor Q4ondon) says that smoking has
a worse effect on most people In win
ter than in summer, and he advises all
smokers who find their health and
mental faculties impaired In winter for
no apparent reason to accept tobacco
as the explanation and to cut down
their smoking during the colder
months. Tobacco, he says, Is a pow
erful drug and cannot be consumed In
large quantities without producing a
certain effect on the heart. 1t must be
remembered that during the winter the
heart has a great deal more work to
do than In summer, for the cold causes
the blood vessels to become small and
pinched. 1t Is thus less able to bear
the extra strain put upon 1t by smok-
ing.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04

After dark, the street is no place for
children. 1t is a we'll known fact
that in towns where cnIfew regula-
tions prevail, there is less tendency
TO rowdyism among the youngsters
than ia towns where there are no cur
few restrictions Athena has cur
few ordinance. II Is not enforced.
Wbyg As result OF its nou enforce
ment boys ranging IN age from TO
IA years cougregate on the streets
when thev should be in the house.
After nightfall is when boyish depte-
Sations mature. Il is then that youth
ful rowdyism tlouIishes. maoh TO the
detrimsnt OF the community, socially
With ourfaw neutrality-suspicious.
in which parents should ssaist-p'op'
erly enforced. a recent hnmilisting
incident Of boyish rowdyism would
not have occurred. for the boys would
have been in their homes, the proper
Mace for them atthat time Of night.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE.

In the County Court for Umatilla
County, State of Oregon.
In the Matter of the Estate of
John Fl. Hiteman, Deceased.
Notice is hereby given that the
County Court OF Umatilla county.
Oregon, has appointed Henry Dell,
of Athena, Oregon, administrator Of
the state of John H. Hiteman. de.
ceased, and all persons having claims
against said estate are hereby notified
to present the same duly verified and
with proper vouchers to the said ad.
ministrator, at the office of Homer |.
Watts, attorney. at his office, Athena,
Oregon, within six months from the
first publication of this notice.
Date of first publication April A.,
1918. Henry Dell,
Administrator.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
The Kickoff.

With bated breath the mother rush.
ed across the football field to the emer
gency hospital
"What tidlngs," she faltered. "of my
sonW
They looked upon her with compass
sion.
well, you Sec" explained the cap
tain of the team, "he lost his head
when we tried the flying wedge"
ShrIeking wildly, she sank to the
floor
"They told me 1t was only broken
arm, ,"-I,ondon Saturday Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
SUMMONS.
In the Circuit Court of the State Of
Oregon for Umatilla County.
Alma Bowen, Plaintiff,

In the Circuit Court of the State Of
Oregon for Umatilla County.
Alma Bowen, Plaintiff,
vs..
James Bowen, Defendant.
To James Bowen, the above-named
defendant:
In he name of the State of Oregon,
you are hereby required to appear and
answer the complaint filed against you
in the above entitled suit on or before
six weeks from the date of the first
publication of this SUMMONS; and you
will take notice, that il You fail to
appear and answer or plead within
said time. the aboye-named plaintiff
will apply to the above entitled Court
for the relief prayed for in her COM
plant fled herein, to-wit: For de-
cree of divorce forever dissolving the
bonds of matrimony heretofore and
now existing between the plaintiff
and defendant. and for the restoration
to plaintiff her maiden name, Alma
FoTtier. and for such other and fur
ther relief as to the court may seem
equitable and meet in the premises.
This summons is put lished by order
Of the Honorable Gilbert W. Phelps.
Judge Of the above entitled Court,
duly aud regularly made and entered
OIL the gath day of March. 1918. the
date of the first publication being on
the 28th day of March, 1918.
S. A. Newberry,
Attorney for Plaintiff.
8 "A M ~ e n 8 Al " z
tE1 "a n,aSf hnaiines satva in fha Morlds
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04
ATHENA. ORE. APRIL A.. -. 1918

Here's our hand to Mr.. Johnson
Clark Woods successor in control oi
the Weston Leader. 1t is extended Il
him in the true good will of one ed
itor for another--craft courtesy, cou
pied with the wish that he may ever
keep the Leader in the front rank OF
county journalism the same channel
in which Wood has always hoated her.
With Woods going there is a deep
hole left in Umatilla county journalism
that will long be Ia evidence, and felt
by the Press man perhaps more than
by any other. We we're cubs together
in the county newspaper field and for
30 years have toted the yoke of friend
ship down to the parting of the trail.
Each has contributed his share OF
work for all he thought lest for his
town, county and state. Both have
contributed not llttl6 TO tne amube-
ment Of their readers in long drawn-
out turlesque newspaper war. which
furnished the basis for humorous
sketches of the NJ. Quad and Bill Nye
order; Sd betches that should have been
preserved for our scrap book, but I'M
fortunately have not been. With the
passing of the Colonel to desk on the
Oregon Daily Journal, ends the Flood
ourdling conHiot(?) between the Press
and the Leader. Johnson may he
0. X. and we hope be is; but i'll many
ways he will never be what Wood was
tn ua
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-04

We regret to say that the Press will
not be in position this spring to pro-
vide its subscribers with little pack
age Of garden seeds. These seeds cost
the government the modest little sum
of $263, 900 and congress sat down on
the money sack and would not let the
seed houses get the money. Too bad,
but you will have to get along some
how without the accustomed five cent
package OF government seed that was
guaranteed to grow, sometimes.