The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1913-05-29
Cats and Coons
BY M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

| $500 "
| the sot kind If | said anything, no
matter if | knowed was wrong, I'd
stick 10 1t to the last Sich Il critter
comes mighty nigh bein' a plumb fue,
but no one could have made me believ q
it years ago.
"One Sunday, years ago, the cid wo-
man wanted me to go to the preachin'
with her. 1t was a nice fall day, and
| wanted to loaf around and see il the
coons was comm down from the noun
tings.
"She was huffy when she got back.
and not word was said at the supper
table. AFTER she'd cleared things away
she got down the Bible and said:
"'Zeb White. the preacher. was
preachin' to us today about Dan'l in
the lions den, and l want to Ak YOU
some questions
LAX away said.
"'Was them regular lions, with teeth
and clawsT
"'Can't say
"'Do YOU know why the lions didn't
eat Dan1%
"'Nope
land you don't keer. do your
"'Not Il whop'
"'Wall, you keep right on bein' mean
and see how you'll come out. A man
may be sot agin his wife and not suf
fer too much, but when he's sot ag'ip
the Bible that's a different thing
wish you'd find the place about joiner
and the whale and read it to me-
" 4 hain't pinin' to read this evenin'.'
says |.
but you believe that the whale
swallered him. don't you?
Il hain't sayin' as | do or don't
What I'm thinkin' CT is whether them
coons will come down in my co'nfieId
tonight
And a Sunday night, toor she
gasps 'Zeb, thar's suahly a rod of
punishment laid up for you. You was
sot ag'in Dan'l, and now you are set
ag'in joiner, and don't you be thinkin
you'll see the end of it without trou-
BILE. VIII you read me about the chill
dren who was devoured by the bars?
Not jest now. I'm waitin' to hear
the old dawg bark to show that the
coons have arrove'
But how many children do you
think thar WASP
81 hain't countin'.'
WAL, how many bars?
"'Can't say. Might not have been
single child or bar
"Then yo're ag1n them too II
wouldn't be in your shoes fur this
yere hull Cumberland mountains. II
don't reckon you believe about the
children of Israel passin across the
Red sea dry shod!
i hain't saying as do
= "Jest then my old dawg begun to
bark and rush around, and | took
down my gun and went out. heard
great rustlin' and spittin and scat
term. and l reckoned that mo- than
hundred coons was movin' down on
the con.
Il called to the dawg to sick 'em,
but he drapped his tail and sneaked |
into the house. Feared like q funny
thing for him to do, but went down
among the con without him. | had
skassly got thar when | heard sun,
thin movin' about and fired ut it.
THAT was one of the blunders of |
my life. The powder smoke was still
hangin' in the air when half a dozen |
wildcats began to climb all over me.
THE only thing | could do was to |
start for the house, and as / stag. |
gered along l kept up a.yellin'.
Il was clawed and bit and scratched |
from head to heel and | hadn't 'nuff
clothes on me to cover silver dollar
/ was jest that scared and done up
that l tainted away and fell in heap.
and when | cum to | was on the bed |
and the old woman was dressin' my
hurts
'She had to begin mt my scalp and
work down to my heels, and it took her
all the rest of the night felt bad |
huff, | kin tell you, but she made me
feel heap wuss. She didn't say
single word to me fur hours. but when
she had about finished me up she
started off with:
"Zeb, do you reckon them was reg
lar lions in the cage with Dan1?'
with all my heart, do l says.
"'And them children of Israel and
the Red Sea?'
"I believe every last word of 1t.
Linda
And is the dawg to be whopped for
not maxim as big II Iuie Of himself as
you did,
mot whop. reckoned on whop-
pin him for not mixin' In. but III let
It go this time. Anything MOP
Nuthin' mo-, Zeb,' she says as she
Gums over and kisses me, ''cept that
you hadn't better git too frisky agin
an think you are bigger man than
:" Linda says l, 4 suah thought them
was coons.'
" OF co'se you did-of co'se.'
land reckoned on gettin' Eve or
six prime pelts.'
YES, you did
DO you think Providence kin turn |
coons into wildcats at mini'ts no.
ticeT
"'Of co'se he kin. Whenever AFTER |
this you git to thinkin' he can't you |
start for town and git gallon Of sweet |
lie fur the bites and scratches suab to |
cum. Cuddle down now and 10 to |
sleep"