davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
The NewspaperJo Job,

Many people believe that a newspaper falls together without work or concerted action or plan. The Rev. Mcleod, a Presbyterian minister at Pasadena, was of this opinion, and asked to be allowed to edit one edition of the Pasadena Star. The editor gladly accepted the oppor. tunity to go fishing, and the minister took up his duties in the newspaper office.
 This is how he felt when he found him. self at the end of his task, which it must be said had been done quite creditably :
 My time is almost up as 1 pen this last line ; my hand is almost paralyzed ; my brain befuddled and 1 am free to confess that I am right glad to vacate the holy spot. Such rush and riot and disarray. Such tumble of potpourri ; it strikes me as the effort to bring order out of chaos, and to do 1t Tightening quick.
 Il am reminded of the memorable words The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit moved upon the face of the waters? Never shall I criticise newspaper men more. I shall pray for them. They will have my hearts forbearance henceforth and for ever. They are the hardest worked, shortest lived, poorest paid brain work CTS on this weary old world of ours. ''- New Smyrna Breeze.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
MIXING THE CANAANS.

The New Canaan News is to be com mended for it's words condemning the drunken chauffeur. The steering wheel of an automobile is no place for drunk en man. The place demands quick thought and action, which is impossible with man whose brain is befuddled by liquor. The menace of the drunken chauffeur was brought home to New Ca- naan people, recently, when girl was crippled for life, a horse badly mangled, and property damage done and again when a chauffeur under the inhueuce of liquor cork sore wed his machine through the streets, endangering the lives of a number of people. Automobile owners and drivers, for their own protection, should see that the tangle-h headed driver is banished. d.-Rockville Journal.
 A commendable comment but we must protest against the esteemed Jour- nal mans confoundlng of the Canaans, and would respectfully and in all kind ness, recommend careful reference to the geography of Connecticut. The most cursory perusal of the map will dis close that Canaan is the metropolis of Litchfeld county, while New Canaan is nice little place somewhere down in Fairfield county, which used to pride it. self upon being "next door to heaven, '' though as matter of fact it's nearest neighbor of any consequence is Stamford, which doesn't pretend to be anything like heaven,
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
Where the Laugh Comes In
To maiden who walked in the sun Said man who meant nothing but fun
 "I am much in your debt
 For neat silhouette,

For a neat S1lnOuet6e, But fear they will snap if you run" r -sssss12l@.'-'--New York Press.
 "'Chapleigh appears to be such a con- tented body"
 "Yes; but in so many instances ignor- ance is bliss, you know" w."-Buffalo Ex- press.
 "Why does Binks oppose universal penny postage?''
 He realizes that his creditors can send duns twice as often without mourning additional expense. ."-Buffalo Express.
 "This," said the man of the house, as he mournfully surveyed three carpets and ten rugs hanging on the clothes line, 'this is a combination hard to beat. "- Princeton Tiger.
 "Why is horse that can't hold it's head up like next Wednesday?"
 Don't know" "Why, because it's neck's weak"
 "Oh, heard that joke about a week back."-Sacred Heart Review.
 '14-"How did you get your stolen watch back so quickly?" 'l3-"The poor idot of thief took it to a pawnshop. where they at once recognized it as mine. .''-Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Speaking of those campaign funds -''
 "Let us not do so" replied the man who had subscribed. There is no use of looking last years band wagon in the taximeter. Washington Evening Star.
 The Jood bride dadces dowd the aisle
 With chilblades od her toes;
 She tries to wear suddy sbile,
 But she is dard dear froze
 "The men at our church certainly con- tribute cheerfully for one cause"
 What is that ?'
 "To send the minister away."- Ex- change.
 Parke--"Do you leave your serva nts in charge of your house during the sum- mer?"
 Lane-"Not any more so than the rest of the year. Life.
 Nell-"She's woman of liberal views, isn't she?"
 Belle-"Well, Inotice she s always giv- ing others piece of her m1nd. ."-Phil- adelphia Record.
 "The elements can be made to serve a useful purpose" remarked the philoso- pher.
 Yes; if one casts bread upon the wa ter and throws care to the winds. Bal timore Express.
 "This article says oleomargarine is made of beef fat"
 Yes, and the person who eats lots of it will be fat
 "Well. if beef fat makes person be fat that is nothing to beef at. ."-Houston Post
 That" said the futurlst. pointing proudly to the canvas which he had just finished, "is my attempt to interpret the infnite.''
 What did the infinite ever do to your" asked the innocent bystander.- Chicago Record Herald.
 You ought to be ashamed to spend the best part of your life in jaIl," said the kind old lady to the prisoner.
 Madam" replied the convict, don't blame me for it. I assure you that I am here against my will. ."-Detroit Free Press.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
Soul Saving at a Profit.

Billy Sunday has just received $10, ,000 for saving souls at South Bend, Ind. This same amount of money put where it ought to be put-into the churches of South Bend-would have accomplished far more good, thinks the Independence Reporter. Bnt people who scream with horror when asked to give dollar to the local minister-the man who faithfully baptizes the babies, marries the sons and daughters and buries the beloved dead will become so enamored of Billy Sum- days abuse that they will gladly part with their last cent to fill his already stuffed purse. This is a funny old world and among Its other anomalies is the travelling evangelist who gets the coin.- Kansas City Journal.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
What the Other Fellows Say

The use of city motor vehicles tor private purposes gets severe jolt in the recent Waterbury accident whereby a policeman, driving city car, was killed. Investigation shows that the use of city cars in that place for private purposes is common. It will doubtless be less so hereafter, not only in Waterbury but lsewhere.-Bridgepo Standard.
 A convicted Utica joy rider who took out a car without permission and killed a man stands in peril of getting a I5-year sentence. Both motorists and pedestri- ans will agree he deserves it-on one count or the other.-New Haven Union.
 There is an old saying that the man who never takes vacation takes one all the time.-Meriden Journal.
 Just as the price of ice goes up, the temperature begins to go down. No one would be sorry if the ice man found his daily trade fall off fifty per cent. as a re- sult But will the ultimate consumer be clever enough to cut hIs demand fifty per cent. to meet the advance? He ought to know that it is by doing things that way that the retailer and the whole saler save themselves from advancing rates when they are not certain they can collect the advance from the public with out a struggle.-Waterbury Republican.
 All the summer hotels advertise that people sleep under blankets at their re- sorts, but sometimes this may be because the chambermaid couldn't find any sheet Hartford Post.
 A correspondent writes that in small villages like New York, Albany and Bos- ton, clerks are given half holiday the year around except in the Christmas shopping season, and belives that clerks in a large city like Pittsfeld ought to be granted similar privilege.-Pittsield Eagle.
 Three were drowned in this state yes- terday and eight more just over the line in New York state. And not all the deaths were those of young people who couldn't swim. In several instances the victims took long chances and lost, and some of them were quite as foolhardy as the numbskull who rocks a boat Ansonia Sentinel.
 Ohio liquor dealers have officially in augurated campaign to prevent women from drinking in public places. They declare that the practice, if allowed to develop at its present rate of progress will presently result in making Ohio as dry as a desert.-Waterbury American.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
THURSDAY. AUGUST IA. 1918
The most important thing in the world The ability to earn living. -Elbert Hubbard.
WHY IS A LAW2

Whats the use of the new vehicle lighting law if it isn't generally observed or enforced? Many vehicle owners think it. bit of legislative nonsense anyway. and unless it is impartially en- forced it is bound to become a dead letter. Since the new law went into effect, August 1, 8 number of horse drawn vehicles whereabouts have been equipped with lanterns, but many wagon owners have thus far ignored the pro- visions of the law, and drive about after dark, with no lights displayed. The mtimation has been made that viola tors of the lighting law would be ar- rested and fined, as provided in the statute but the delinquent wagon drivers evidently reason that if the majesty of the law does not concern itself any more about the wagons than 1t does about the enforcement of the laws supposed to govern the operation of automobiles, they have no occasion to worry. There are automobile owners in Canaan who have regard for the law, but there are others who are evidently as ignorant of It's provisions as the authorities themselves, who, to judge from their masterly inactivity, are not aware that there is single automobile Raw on the books. Tourists especially, who scoot through Canaan, appear to have learned that so far as Canaan is concerned, it is perfectly safe to ap- pxoach corner in the center of the will Iage without footing horn, and to go around the corners and through the main streets at 30 or 40 miles an hour shat they don have to illuminate, front or rear, if they don't want to, nor turn out ha1r's breadth for passing teams. But it may not always be thus. Some day the authorities may wake up to the fact that there is law in the land, and teach the defiant breaking drivers that there is God Tn Israel.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
A Fatal Answar.

A representative in Congress tells of an experience, when, as an attorney for the defendant, he was examining the complainant in a certain case.
 His client, one Wheelocl. had got into a quarrel with certain McDonald dur ing their negotiations for the trade of horses. The quarrel had gone SO far that Mcdonald had made application to magistrate to have Wheelook bound over to keep the peace, alleging that he had threatened to do him, (MoDonald), bod fly injury.
 When the case was called Mcdonald testified to the circumstances under winch Wheelock had threatened him. The cross.examination began. Now, MT. MoDonald," the lawyer said. "you declare that you are under the fear of bodily harm2"
 "l am, sir"
 "You are even afraid for your life ?"
 "I am, sir"
 "Then you freely admit that Wheelock can whip you, Pat McDonaldP"
 The question aroused MoDonald's "Irish" instantly.
 "Bill Wheelock whip me? Never " he shouted. "I can whip him ard any half dozen like him."
 That will do. MT. McDonald." said the attorney. The court was already ip roar, and the lawyer rested the case without further testimony or argument. The case was dismissed, for it was evil dent that Mcdonald could not be under serious bodily fear of a man whom, in his own opinion, he had only to use one- seventh of his strength to whip.-Green Bag.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Several scores of complaints have come to this office, (where speciality is made of remedying public grievances and averaging personal grudges,) concerning the nuisance of the water pumping station, in vibrating the service pipes with constant and distracting rumble and roar. that threatens to throw the sensitive housewives into fits, and drive the husbandmen to drink. Engineer Burghardt's explanation of the cause, in an article in another column, and his plan for abating the nuisance, should in- spire the aggrieyed to possess their souls in patience yet little while. Further more his enlightening statistics regard ng the waste of water, may move them to greater economy in the use of it.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
NORTH CANAAN HAS

A population of 2,171, (census of 1910.) Two railroatls.
 National and Savings Banks. Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfield and beyond. Up-to-date High School and first-class school system.
 Five churches.
 Ffrst-class hotel.
 Fire department including chemical en- zine.
 Ten miles of State Roads. Electric light and power plant, Complete Sewer System. Never-failing water supply and the best water In the state.
 Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime and iron industries. Fraternal and benefit societies. Brass band.
 Up-to-date department stores. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Jack Johnson, the expatriated pugilist, is having his bumps in Europe, where the respectable hotels have barred him out. He says he will never return to America to face a second trial for viola tion of the White Slave Law, and de- clares that he did not get justice here. He certainly did not. If he had there wouldn't be any Jack Johnson now.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
Indaad YAsl

While Joseph w. Bailey was United States Senator from Texas he used to go down there once in while to explain to the people the things he was accomplish ing in Congress. It was whispered that he thought quite we'll of himself and wasn't averse to saying so.
 James B. Aswell, the new representa- tive from the ninth Louisiana district tells the following story of speech de- livered by Mir. Bailey from the steps of & public building in little Texas town:
 The speech had just come to an end. The senator had gone into the building when a man arrived at the outskirts of the crowd and asked an old negro who the speaker was.
 "'Deed An doan know, replied the darky, but dat genman sho' was highly recommendin' hisself Washington Star.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

"How did you enJoy your sojourn in England ?''
 II certainly missed baseball
 'Then they have no substitute for the sport?"
 "None that suited me. A friendly chap did offer to take me fox-hunting. J Exchange.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
Letters From the People
Make 1t a Holiday.

To the Editor of The News:
 Would it not be fitting expression of respect for the surviving heroes of the regiment, to have a general holiday, with the stores closed at least part of the day, when the reunion is held here Sept. II? Citizen.
 Canaan, Aug. 12.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Nationalities represented in the birth
 list in Waterbury, for the month. as printed in the Republican, were Amerl' can. Scotch, Irish. English, German, Jewish. Russian, Polish, Italian, Lithu- anian, etc. Looks like the Brass City $ slogan would stand Every nation has got something on Waterbury
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
LIFE'S BELLOWS.
BY EMMA RoDEMEYER WATT

If life's bark were always sailing
 On calm, unruffled sea, We would miss the wondrous beauty
 Of the pillows high and free, As they roll and toss and tumble,
 Bounding upward to the sky, Till they seem like snow capped mountains In majestic grandeur high. So amid life's fiercest conflicts,
 If we cast our eyes above We behold celestial brightness
 Shedding peace and hope and love.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Get Together. Pull Together. It's the policy that makes for progress, and it's the only policy that will make for progress.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

"I never saw girl that could hit any thing she threw at"
 "Well, you never saw my girl throw a hint. ."-Indianapolis Star.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Gibbs-"I often wonder who those feI- lows are that loaf around watching a new building going up."
 Dibbs- Easy They are men who start ont Tn the morning to look for work and compromise by looking at it. "-Bos- ton Transcript.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
THE NEWS, AGENTS

Extra copies of The News are on sale at the edaceof publication and st Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Post Office, East Canaan.
 D. H. Oakes Store. Lakeville, Post Of1ce, Falls Village,
 George T. Johnsons Store, Norfolk, Scutt 6 Rood. Ashley Falls. A. L. Dickinson Salisbury.
 J. W. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14

Subscribers are requested to notify the pub sher promptly of aay failure to receive papers regularly, changes of residence etc.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
WRITE A LETTER ABOUT

Communications on subjects of general inter est to The News readers are invited, but nc attention will be paid to anonymous letters.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
MISCELLANEOUS

AR. EATEN, optlclal forrington, 3onn. will be ut The canhold" hotel the brst Mon day and Tuesday afternoons of each month If unable to call send postal Consultation free s. R. STARK, Nurse, Canaan Telephone Ib2 SURVEYoR-Farms surveyed, titles searched and abstracts made. Engineering of all kinds. w. B. Hubbard. West Cornwall, Couu. MAIL your Parcel Post packages in Clasp En- veopes. No strings to tie or cords to break. We have the correct sizes. The Canaan Printing Co.
 NoTICE-we need S1.0O0 the 18th of August. If you know any way to help us get it please help us out, We have S5000 worth of goods waiting for you to buy. NJ. C. Dean & Sons. We must have the Si,000
 FREE RENT Independent living Lady tin- valid) would like small family or woman to occupy independent part Of house consisting five rooms. conveniences and provide table board for four adults and one child. Or settled woman to do work and manage home for inc valid. Independence, good home for propar party. Warmer F, Q. Box 3s, Laaeville, Conn.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

NS NEN - 9he News should appeal with special force to the sa4scous business maa.
 K has an extensive circulation in Western 0naneceicut, and especially throughout Litch- Aold County and Southern Berkshire.
 It has a oonpeteat staff of wide-awake cor ssapordents in the various towns to report the local doings each week. and goes into the homes and is perused by the entire families of the thKakty, intelligent, reading class of people whom NAe long headed advertiser most desires to reach.
Connecticut western news., 1913-08-14
WANTED

900 cords of lime kiln wood
 Address, Box 202, East Canaan, Conn.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-10-17
Huguley to Play
In Tech Battle;
Is 0. K. in Studies

MACON, GA. Oct 1.-THE announce
ment this afternoon that Huguley, the
star back of the Mercer football squad,
will be allowed TO play in the game
Saturday against Tech. bolstered the
hopes of the Mercer students. It was
expected that Huguley would be barred
by the faculty, the charge being made
that he is not up to the standard in his
studies. Professor Sellers, president Of
Mercer, stated to-day that Huguleys
marks were as high as any other player
on the squad.
Westmoreland, another star who was
injured in the Auburn game, will not
play, not having recovered from his
injuries. However, Coach Lewie Hard
age, who is receiving his first expe-
Renee with the Mercer squad, states he
has a half dozen good reserves, any one
of whom can fill WestmOreland's place
with satisfaction.
The varsity squad went into their
scrmmage with the scrubs yesterday
with more ginger than has been mani
tested this eason, and II the playing
is continued through Saturday the or.
ange and Black may be expected TO
put up a good fight against Tech
Even money on the campus is being
offered that Tech will not score more
than four touchdowns on Mercer.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-10-17
Many Injured, So
Alabama Cuts Out
Scrimmage Work

TUSCALOOSA, ALA, Got 16-On
account OF injuries OF g more or less
serious nature received by his varsity
men recently. Coach Graves has cut out
all scrimmage work for the remainder
OF tho week. This decision was reached
before practice yesterday, following .
conference OF the head coach with his
assistants Alabama wants to be able to
present her best lineup against Geor-
gia Saturday
Among those suffering at present from
bruises and strains ara Captain Wander
gran. halfback; Jones, halfback; Harsh,
halfeack; stiokney, fullback; BurkA
tackle, and Riddle, center
Vandergraff has a bad shoulder. Jones
dislocated shoulder. Harsh q game
leg Stickney a bad arm, Burks q
strained leg muscle, Riddle strained
shoulder.
However, all these men, with the ex-
against the Red and Black Saturday.
The other men, Bates, Long and Love,
who have been slightly disabled, have
fully recovered. and will be In first
class shape for the contest.
remembering past seasons, few. here
are bold enough to prophecy q victory
next Saturday. Georgia has defeated
Alabama for the past three years, and
the team this year is known TO be pow
erful. However, tho Alabama team 10
determined to give her old adversary q
desperate fight before yielding the
game
The players are going to have the full
support OF the student body. A special
train has been chartered TO take the
rooters to Birmingham, and Il is prob
Crimson and White will make the trip
to cheer the team
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-10-17
STEWARTMA|DEN
GETS SECOND IN
BIC GOLF EVENT
Atlanta Professional, With His
Partner, Turns in l72 for
"Best-baII" Score,

M TMPHIS, TENN, Oct 1s.-
V Stewart Maiden, Atlanta pro-
fessional, teamed with Fred
Mcleod. OF Chevy Chase, finished
second yesterday in the best-ball
roursome prelude to the open cham
pionship golf tournament Of the
western Golf Association. The win
ners of the preliminary event were
Tom MCNAMARA and NJ J. Brady Of
Boston. who negotiated the SO holes
in 141 strokes.
Maiden and his partner PLAYED with
Wonoerful consistency, making both
rounds In II strokes. while the win
ners played rather poor golf In the
morning round, taking 70, but max
ing up the lost ground in the after
noon with a remarkable ss. for a
total OF l41, a single stroke better
than the Atlanta Athletic Club pro-
fessional and his partner.
II. y. ana j. s. Simpson tied with
Maiden and Mcleod for second hon
ors. while two teams, Dave Patrick
and George Blngley OF Memphis and
Herbert Strong (Long Island) and
Mcdonald Smith New Rochelle)
were tied for third place with l49.
Play in the 72-hole champlonship
match began at o'clock this morn
ing. and will be played to-day and
Tomorrow, S5 holes each day. or
the 60 entrants fifteen are amateurs.
Mcdonald Smith. present champion.
was paired with NJ. ]. Brady. of Bos-
ton
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-10-17
Vandergraaf Against McWhorter
set
Feature Alabama-Georgia Game

n THENs, GA, oct. 18.-After a
n council Of war held in the
gymnasium yesterday after
noon. Coach Cunningham put the
Red and Black eleven through
tough scrimmage. preceded by
a long signal practice. The in
juries Of last weeks game and the
apparent strength Of Alabama have
put the Athenians in the last ditch
and they are going to be called upon
to give an account Of themselves
against one OF the strongest oppo-
nents on the schedule.
After the near drubbing that the
Tuscaloosans gave Georgia in Column
have become more revered in the To-
cal camp and the proves Of the Van
dergraaf family fully recognized.
Georgia belives that II she can stop
Vandergraaf Saturday that her Of
Tense will be strengthened enough to
shove over the winning touchdown.
Anyway, It will be a battle royal with
.ba ,owars,,r ATcvborter IN ona sido
'"o
ana the elusive FahoergrdaL on the
other.
A SLIGHT change has bAen tried our
"A &. ~ ~. - 90 !. -.
III '"s -ii'e anu IL II p'o'eS "
good worhing combination IN the
practice to-day it will be the coachs
-,
'ohKilh ana smith are drawing the
wing offerings. while change or two