The Washington herald., 1913-11-02
lCopynEht, lsl3l

M BOru Blaney leaned s5 from 1,Il Pull
ed himself to the somber orbs OF light
becomingly set IN the features OF the
very new Mrs. Blaney, that lady being
comfortably cushioned in Pullman seat
q.
"Sugar-boy-dear!" responded the pre-
viousIy matter-of-fact Betsy. Then, with
q momentary lapse into sanity, she
whispered: Brian, the whole cars look
ing at us!''
Responsive to the warning, Brian
made a sudden movement, and several
handfuIs of rice clattered to the floor
from various parts Of his clothing.
Darn that god-speed stuff!" he
grumbIed THE more I see Of rice the
the worse 1 hate Japs.''
He removed his hat and shook there
from a miniature hailstorm- The entire
car tittered-there was an excursion of
rather young Boston schoolma' ANS re-
turning from San Bruno. Brian blushed
10 the roots Of his auburn hair, then his
cheeks wrinkled to a broad grin. His
was one of those natures to whom pub
licity lin any form can never be quite
distasteful.
Enjoy yourselves, girls!' he smiled
bowling to his appreeiative audience. On
the lapel of his coat hung a bright blue
button nearly as large as a saucer and
labeled: BOOST FOR SAN BRUNO"
This token, as we'll as an enormous
harp-shaped floral emblem which re-
posed between their chairs, bearing the
word BOOST in white carnations, was
the gift of the San Bruno Boosters
Club which organization has accom-
panied them to the station with enthu-
siasm, a brass band, and the city's sur
plus oi overshoes.
Brian's salute TO the assembled
schoolma' ans was well received by all
save Betsy, who sat for several min
utes with her eyes averted toward the
whirling landscape.
Sugar" she said at last. II wish
you'd take that thing pointing to the
Booster Button-"and put it in your
pocket. And l wish you'd give that
indicating the floral emblem-''to the
porter. It reminds me of an Elks' fu-
neral
Now, Candy-bag!" protested Brian, in
a hurt tone, I'VE amt ashamed of the
home town, are we?" 4-
You bet we aren't! agreed Betsy
warmly. And that's why L think it's
up to us not TO make the home town
-idiculous''
Porter" said Brian, with one hand
beckoning the menial and the other
pointing out the floral emblem. Bear
away the tribute"'
He slipped the booster button quietly
into his pocket.
You old dandy thing Thus she re-
warded him. He sat awhile in unnat-
ural silence.
Funny" he said, at last. Those are
the very words Obrey O'Mslley said to
me this morning"
What words?'
Don't make the home town ridicu-
lous.' Y know, when the Boosters took
US to the train, c. W. ketchum puIlin'
my arm loose at the socket while kit
tenish Sid EidlitZ poured eighteen cents
worth O rice down my collar? Well,
old Obrey O'Malley led me aside for
minute. Uncle Obe's got more sense
in his upper right-hand eye-Iash than
Ketchum can hire in his whole Office
force. Brian says Obrey, you're going
a great-big town full o. things a young
man can slip up on and fall over. 1
hope you won't think me impertinent,
but 1 want to give you a word OF ad
vice-don't be a hick.'"
What's a hick? asked Betsy.
"a hicks a dressed-up Rube out hunt
ing for a shell game" he defined it.
:. I've lived in ~ York for forty years
o'MaIIey went on, and 1 know it from
Wall Street TO Waldorf. Take it from
me it's up to the stranger coming fresh
from the clover to sing low, because
every inhabitant OF Manhattan Island
has got the art of financial transgres-
sions down TO a poisoned pellet. The
graft industry is overcrowded there, and
N York would naturally starve If it
wasn't for the man from home who
comes piIxing down Broadway with his
check-book In his hand and spriS OF
timothy over his ear. Lifelong prac-
tice at the art of bunk has made the
NJ Yorkers so darned canny, they can
steal your clothes, ship you home in a
borrowed nightie, and make you think
you've had a good time So take an
old mans tip. When you come in sight
OF the Statue Of Liberty. step light, sing
low, and, for Gawsh sake, don't let 'em
know you're a hick?"
Maybe we'd better go to Niagara
Falls, after allT' Betsy faltered-
'T says to O'Malley," Brian went on,
" Uncle ODE, what can 1 do to conceal
my hickory origin?
"Tu give you a few Don'ts for
Hicks says o'MaIley. Don't smoke a
cigar with a band on it. Don't get up
In street cars and offer a lady your
seat. Don't let the barber shave the
hack of your neck Don't talk politics
with strangers. Don't wear tan shoes
wifi, buttons on EN-" Furtively
Retsy noted that her husbands shoes
we're of the kind described) Don't
drink Manhattan cocktails. Don't be
q ashamed to walk over peoples knees in
the tbeater. Don't stand on windy cor
ners to watch the chori go by. And
don't offend the head waiter by trying
to tip him in public. Those are few
rough rules which may keep you a
while out of the Order of Straw along
the Great White Graft, says Uncle
Obe.'"
THAT was thoughtful of him." Betsy
iutimated.
"Y-yes," agreed Brian grudgingly.
But It makes me kind o. sore. What
brand O. Holsters do those NJ York
dudes eat that makes 'em so all-hred
brighter n the rest o the country?
Can't an Indian from another reserva-
don blow in with his war-paint and
not"