The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-12-16
Laugh With Us

"Iou wanta da hair cut?' asked the
barber in the rush shop. Den I Gala
my brother Petro."
us Petro better, at hair cutting
than you?" asked the new patron.
"Petro mucha better. He tella da
wonderful story an maka da hair
rise. an he no losa da time holdin'
s7.35-that they have come
At the close of the service a certain
minister in New York city said:
Brethren, have been earnestly try
ing to reach the poor of New York
and have been urgently. inviting them
to come to church. I infer from the
a1nonnt Of the collection just taken
$f.35-that they havet come"
Two colored men bought a piece of
pork, and Sam, having no place to
Keeping. They met the next night and
Henry said: "a mos strange thing
done happen at NAH house las night,
Sam: All myst'ry to me-" :.
What dat:"
Well. SAM" explained Henry. SOL
EMMY; dis mawnin' go down in de
cellar for to git a, piece of hawg To-
breakfast, AMI put, MY. han down Iii
de brine an feels 'roun'. but dey amt
no polk dar-all gone: SO l tu'n up
de har'l. ar, Sam, sho' as preachin'.
de rats had done ct a hole c'lar froo
de bottom Of dat bari an dragged Gle
meat all outs"
Sam was petrified with astonish-
ment for a moment and then said:
why did mt dc brine run out outen
de hole:"
Well. 20 see. SAM replied Henry,
".dat's de myst'ry."
The preacher was a young man and
nervous but interesting. He was MAX
ing an eloquent plea for the home
life, and was dcscanting e%loquently on
the evils of the club. telling his con-
creation that married men in par
ticular should spend their evenings at
home with their wives and children.
Think. my hearers" said he, "of a
poor. neglected wife, all alone in the
great dreary house, rocking the cradle
of her sleeping babe with one foot
and wiping away the tears with the
other::"
First Negro-say. what mean dis
heah word ''nucleus?'
Second Negro-Snmpin' what odder
things gather bout.
First Negro-Uh-huh! Den / was
~ s"o WYNN "hE j uVSDN "A ConlVe
in de dahk.
Here. SIR said the antique dealer.
displaying a huge sword TO a clerical
looking collector. ever see anything
more interesting than that: That's
Ealaam's sword"
. But. my good man, that cannot
be- said the dominic. Balkan new
err had a sword. He only wished for
one"
Quite right, sir said the dealer.
An old colored man, charged with
stealing chickens, was arraigned in
court and was discriminating himself
when the judge said: You ought to
have a lawyer. Where's your lawyer?"
"Ah amt got no lawyer, jedge,"
said the old man.
Very well, them said his honor.
I'll assign a lawyer to defend YOU"
oh. no, sub; no., sub! Please don't
do dat!' the darby begged.
why not?" asked the Judge. ut
won't cost you anything. Why don't
You want a lawyer"
Well. jedge, Anil tell YOU. subj"
said the old a waving his tattered
old hat con7dentially. Hits Jest dis
wa%-Ah wsn't tub enjoy dem chick
mahse'f::"
Uncle Joe Cannon, i'm a recent DO.
littcal argument. said:
That excuse is not good enough. It
reminds me Of a Danville bartender,
He came to work in q. Danville bar
and as soon as he arrived the re.
ceipts besan to diminish. The boss aA
the end OF the week said to the new
comer
Look here. do you take money
out of the till?"
"'oh. no, sir said the bartender.
No. indeed, SIR
"'Now,' said the man, you must be
taking money. I know it,
Q course" said the man, II take
my ear fare every night"
con, o do. eh:' said the boss.
And where do 0 live? In. San
Fra nnicc.o 81,