Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-10-08

thal, the LADY viii fetch me a Toe par
Well, orders one. and oy the Iady's
face / see done wrong. even before
she complains TO the manager. I'm
surely miserable TO think I've insulted
lady.
The managers suspicious Of me. but
Bull talks French so rapid that even
froggy can't keep up, although be
smiles and shrugs. and gives US sang
fraws to drink.
This sort of cocktail / had. was the
first liquor I'd tasted. It's powerful
as harbor tug, dropping me cut OF
the conversation, while the restaurant
turns slowly round with list TO star
the front window full of decorated
eggs. Says they're vintage eggs, all
verasantique and bookay. For years
the Inillionaires of Invicta has shrunk
from the expense. My job when we
leaves is to carry the basket, cause
Bulls toting q second-handed SADDLE.
/ dunno why Bull has to introduce
me to the gentleman who Keeps the
peanut store down street-seeing I'd
dealt there before. Anyway, I'm intro
duced to Affable Jones. and I'm the
Marks of Worms-the same being
nom de plume. We proceeds to the
opery-house. climbs in through little
hind window, and finds a dressing
room. Affable Jones dresses up as
monk. Bull Durham claims he's rugged
out already as a yice-bishop. and I'm
to be chicken. cause I'm dealing
vintage eggs in the cotillon. All the
same, I'm left there alone for hours,
and It's only when they comes back
with a cocktail that I'll consent to
dressing up as chicken--whic in
passing out through that ill window is
some crowded. We proceeds up street.
me toting eggs, and practlcing chicken
talk, and it seems the general public
is surprised.
So we comes to the Masonic Hail.
which is all lights, and band. and fash
ionable persons rugged out in fancy
dress, dancing the horse doover. I
got the name from Bull, who says that
the next turn is my day boo IN the
omlet cotillion. Seems it's all ar
ranged, too Affable Jones lines up
the ladies' on the left, the dudes on
the right. all the length of the hall.
Bull marches up the middle. spurs
trailin' behind him, and there's me
dressed as a chicken. with basket
of eggs, wondering whether this here
cowboy is two persons see, or only
the one | can hear. Bands playing
soft, Affable serves on. tin spoons to
the dudes, and deals each a deco
rated egg. laying it careful in the bowl
OF the spoon. till there's only a few
left over. and I'm safe aloOg with Bull
So far everybody SOILS pleased.
Bull whispers in my eAY, make for
the back door, you son OF & sea cook. !"
which offends me. being srle; waves
an egg at the band for silence, and
calls out, Ladies and gents" From
the back door l seen how all the dudes
has to stand dead still for fear of
dropping: an egg.
Ladies'" says Bull, has my of
you seen a live mouse? On the way
up among you, seems I've dropped my
mouse, and it's climbing skirts for
solitude"
Then there's shrieks. screams. la
dies throwing themselves into the
arms of them dudes. eggs dropping
squash, eggs going bang. Bull throw
ing eggs at every man not otherwise
engaged. and such stink thai all the
lights goes osft. I'm grabbed by the
scruff of the chicken. run out through
the back door, and slung on the back
of horse. Bulls yelling "Ridei Ride!
Git a move on" He's flogging the
horse with his quirt, he's yelling at
me- ride. or we'll be lynched!"
| My mouths fail of feathers, chick
ems coming all TO pieces-can't ride
| daresn't fall Off So on the whole
dug the chickens spurs into MIR.
Horse, and rode like a hurricane in q
panic. All of which reminds me that
the hinder parts of an imitation bird
is comforting whar she bumps. Still
draw them stars across.
1 I'm feeling better with twenty miles
| between me and Ingieta City. The
sun transpires over the eastern sky
line, the horses is taking roll. In
seated on the remnants of the chicken
and Bun Durham says I'm his adopt
ed orphan.
Looking back 1t seems to me that
the first nights proceedings was calm
Thar was the fat German fire brigade
pursuing an annual banquet across
lots by moonlight, all on our way
north, too, till the wagon capsized il
a river.
Thar was the funeral obsequies of a
| pig, late deceased, with municipal
honors, until we got found Out.
Then we was an apparition of al
gels at a revival camp, only Bulls
wings caught fire. and spoiled the
| whole allusion.
(To BE CoNTINUED)