New-York tribune., 1913-11-01
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An EngIishman, just from London sat in a
Fifth avenue club discussing various topics with
an American friend whose guest he was. The con-
versation finally drifted around to the relative
merits Of the New York copper" and his brother
bobby" in London. Where can you see finer
body of men than represented by that giant
officer standing there in the centre of the street
helping the lame and the aged across?" asked the
American pointing out OF the window to a traffic
patrolman IAN very we'll" replied the English
man, but really my dear fellow, don't you think
YOUR Yankee hobbies go bit beyond themselves
at times? Only this morning | saw a crowd
stopped and asked boy what the thing was all
about He lust grnned and said oh. de copper
inst pinched a lady our English hobbies don't
take such liberties, upon my word
Somebody has utilized the waste power generated
bv a rocking chair spring motor Is wound up py
rachel mechanism as the rocker rocks ana tle Pomcr
Thus saved can be utilized in grinding conee peahB
eggs making ice cream and shaking the Iurnace
r. found necessary 1t will spank the younger chill
dren operate a shampoo brush and run the SEWING
machine.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
"Ratber Difficult" is the headline over an inter-
view with Professor Ellie Metschnkoff In a Paris
paper "If you would avoid Illness he said' live
as have lived for fifteen years See these pahahas
he added holding up two ripe specimens
am taking them home to eat. Most people think
that the thick rnd makes this fruit mt to ear raw"
Far from It, | steep them III DoihhB water aiVr
the rind has been removed to destroy the disease
germs and never use knife, fork or spoon that
hoe not first been subjected to microbe destroying
fame All my food must be cooked or baked. My
salads are all scalded and drinking water uttered
and boiIed Raw fruit and vegetables have no place
at anv table, even berries subjected to boiling
water bath before they are served
Englishman Ito PaD-say Pat, have you any cure
for corns?
Pat-I might; but where are they?
Englishman-On the soes OF my feet
Pat-Thats one consolation anyway
Englishman (surprised)-Why? ,
Pot with a twinkle in his eye)-Because nobody
can stand on them but yourself.-Tit-Bits.
"A young Methodist preacher" said one OF the
delegates to the Episcopal Genera. Convention
called upon an old trustee OF his church to talk
with him concerning his first sermon i nave pre-
nared sermon against card playing said the
preacher but the old man shook his head I'D be
a little careful at first he advised. You know you
don't want to offend anybody I have another
against drinking suggested the young man. but
again the other dissented How about talk
against dancing? but there veto
Well what shall preach against? asked the min
iser In despair Preach against the Philistines
Give em the devil; they haven't got friend in
town."
The steward, showing the American father
in-law his son-in-law's ancestral halls "Th
west wing is 'aunted sir Tn ghost OF his udshp's
sainted te-grandmother walks tn alls every
night Nobody hever thinks Of goin there awfter
dark sir"
The American father LAW, rubbing his hands,
Fine. The very place for quiet game Of draw
when tn boys come over!-Cleveland Plain Dealer