The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Prudence and
Zubed.

BY M. QUAD.

Copyright. 1909. by T. c. McClure.l
Prudence Smith and Zabed Winters
met at spelling school and were i'm
pressed with each other. Zabed would
have married her if the Widow Pen
rose hadn't mixed. in. She wanted the
young man for herself, and in awe
some whispers she impaired the infor-
nation that Prudence Smith was
knockkneed and would ps<eEsbe able
to. stand at a washtub ofefzn up and
down the cellar stairs. The young man
was at once impressed. He ceased 10
spark Prudence on Sunday nights and
assure her that he longed to jump
over precipices for her sake, and Of
our she resented it. She went about
with. her chin in the air and asked for
no explanations. and so relations were
Zabed's mother found out what was
the matter with him and set him
right. The widow had lied. Zabed
made 1t up with the girl. The doves
came back again and turtled, a new
date was set for the marriage, and
Farmer Smith reached out his horny
hand for a shake and said:
"Zabed, gol durn your buttons, you're
gittin' the real thing, and you orter
be the happiest man in Woodchuck
county"
Zabed was for about two weeks.
Then Deacon Gray, who was q widow
er and wanted Prudence for his second
wife, gave up some informations about
Zabed. When he had sworn her to the
most awful secrecy he confessed that
the young man had a live frog in his
stomach and would probably go mad
within two years and cut theathroat Of
his wife If he had one. The frog had
jumped down Zabed's throat one day
when he was drinking from the horse
pond, and, though thousands OF in
ducements had been held out to him,
nothing could prevail upon him to
jump out.
Well, where is the young girl, no
matter how her heart turks with. love.
who is going to marry a young man
with a live and growing frog Ia his
stomach? She can't be found. She
wasn't found In this case. Prudence
Smith cooled off on Zabed Winters,
and he went about with hiss chin in
the air and was too proud to ask for
an explanation. 1t was year before
one came. Then a lightning. rod, man
stayed overnight at Smiths, and after
supper he got to talking ABOUT frogs.
Seeing he was posted on the subjeCt
Prudence made bold to ask him IL he
had ever heard Of a frog taking up In
side quarters, and he answered that
such a thing was absolutely Simpossi-
BILE and beyond belief. Zabed Winters
had probably swallowed d small fEh
and the fish might be growing, but *
left alone he could in timesbe ffshed
for and caught. That settled the frog
question, and Zabed was invited to
come around and make up. he got q
hustle on him, and the turtledcves
sang. soft and low, a new date wastap-
pointed, and Farmer Smith stopped
chopping wood long enough to extend
a hand and say:
"Zabed, you gol burned idiot don't
you know when you've got . good
thing? Don't fool around any more"
Zabed didn't want to, but before It
had been decided which minister
should marry them old Mrs Snyder
struck his trail. She was too old to
marry, but not too dc to utter q warn
ing for the benefit Of a young man
who had put in a day hoeing her gar
den and refused to take pay for 1t.
She told him right straight out that
Prudence Smith snored like a steam
engine, that she had six toes on her
right foot and only four on her left.
that she had had st. Vitus' dance when
a baby and that it was sure teseome
back on her some day 1t mighSHot be
q year after marriage ~that'7Zabed
would come up from the cornfeld
some afternoon and find her dancing
all around the dooryard and kicking as
high as q fence. That settled Zabed-
He wanted Prudence, but he didn't
want a dancing dervish. More cold
ness, more strained relations. 1T was q
full year before old Mrs. Snyder was
proved a liar, and 1t took three mmths
longer to make up and set another
date. Things had run smoothly t
within a fortnight Of the date when a
tin peddler came along and bought a
~sheepskin of Zabed and then told him
that Prudence Smith was deaf In the
right ear, nearsighted in both eyes and
would be tongue tied before she was
two years older. Zabed hadn't noticed
the deafness or blindness, but he be-
lieved in tin peddlers and at once grew
frigid. Result, another year lost.
Fate was still in the game, however
and when everybody, including tht
two principals, had made up theil
: minds that there would be no marriage
she came loafing around to do hel
duty. Farmer Smith and his daughter
were in the village one day buying
calico and brown sugar when Zabec
Winters appeared. He a eggs 90 sci
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