The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1913-12-16

COIfIC OF ~ SOdA
by another Pretender-this time
civilian ~Alsorandolph Hersta" who
demanded the presidency on the
ground Of the million acres l own
In Mexico, hat I want this country
to protect" He ordered the army
to kiln Clarkista, who bitterly replied:
TOO late. That's h your support
did to me at Baltimore"
Hersta Selling the reins OF power
announced hat he wanted to inter-
vene somewhere, and when Tumulto
said: There's no war at present re-
piled: start one then and say I did
it. Then stop 1t and say l stopped it.
M~oosebullera appeared for the
fourth time to demand his rights
but scuttled away when Hersta threat
ened to print full reports OF his
speeches.
BY that time the tickle minded had
been taken by Battle Bob LaFol-
lettO," who assumed command on the
claim that The is the only honest man
in public life" He thrust out Dicta-
tor Hersta with the declaration. Il
originated universal peace. Bryana
stole that from me. / am the original
trust buster. Everybody's busting
them now-and they stole my stuff.
| wanted the Progressive nomination
| for president. The Bull Moose stole
from me-"
Marshallera Again.
Marshallera again bobbed up shout
| ing: 1.-The constitution says when
he was cut short by LaFolletto with
my dear sir; you are beWildered.
The constitution hasn't spoken above a
whisper for several years." MARSHALL
era retired finally upon being pre-
scented with an enormous turnip.
Scarcely had the company recov-
cred from such a fearful dream Of
REORGANIZATION when further disor-
der was created by the sudden ap-
p~earance Of Mrs. Pankhurst whose
shrieks Of Votes for Women" and
demand for a seat Of honor were fl
nally suDdued by the suave presi-
dents offer Of hospitality, when he
was warned that ONE now vote in
ten States.
Taking the public into it's conf
dence, the Gridiron Club initiated five
new members into membership. They
were F.. A. Fowler, OF the New York
Sun; Arthur B. Krock, of the Louis
Vile CONFECTIONERY; John P. Ryan,
of the a Francisco Post; Fred Els
sary. Of the Baltimore Sun. and
Thomas w. Brahany, of the White
House Offices.
The initiation was to have beer
iCOAAOuClCA Ny AAS cOCId1 I1cSCIVS
Board. composed Of Harry Thaw
David Lamar, Col. Mulhall, Jack
johnson, William Sulzer and Charles
F. Murphy, headed by General Coxe3
but those gentlemen fell into a gen
eral quarrel when they attempted te
J hold a meeting.
President Kaufman, of the club, or.
dered the admission of the candidate.
to membership upon payment of thei,
nc RrNf - $1,000
) able to meet that condition.
Said Candidate Fowler: "The ad.
m1~n1stration's policy of .pitiless pub.
licity' has been SO secretive that ",
cant get news, n we've lost oul
JOBS. Asked why then they had be
!, come candidates he added: 1--WE .e.
lied on President Wilson. Listen t,
what he wrote in THE New Free
dom" (Reads) Let there be light
IT is necessary to open all the pro
cesses Of politics. They have been to,
/: secret; too complexities; too roun,
!. about; they " consisted too mucl
: of private conferences and secret un
~derstandings."
a Chairman: Surely you got plent;
Of news after that
krock: mot much. Listen to tn
y order issued by Secretary Daniels
(Reads) The Secretary Of the Nav
n NIo oA al lAOlC0 d11u lIA1Ox lIld
q ton for the press be submitted to hir
before being given out"
Sweet to the ears Of the hungry of
nee. ecker were the strains of 81
? Grande Duchesse' as rendered by tn
numerous music committee Of tn
= Gridiron Club. Set to the old scor,
was the stirring tale entitled 1.-The A
: of Adlai." The skit opened with tn
entrance Of a winsome lass. She wa
introduced as Miss Democracy" /
search of a quiet place to tend to he
y Knitting" She thought the Whit
House would afford me shelter; b,
weddings turned the place heller ske.
: ter" Attended by a chorus Of OF
friends n Door relations, she sing:
n "Once 1 was quiet and subdued,
r Not in the best society.
With great respect / now am We've
p A model OF propriety."
he Asked what knitting employed h,
lie skill, Miss Democracy replied: