The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1913-08-21
A DEACON'S
WIFE
BY Nj. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

eight years old when be lost his vile
They were a peaceful, good tempered
twain and had never had a quarrel
There were no children, and sister
came to keep house for the deacon.
Hell marry again within year or
two. Of COURSE" was the general opin-
ion Of the villagers.
The deacon didn't remarry, and after
eight years had passed away he was
given credit for being one of the few
exceptions lie had just passed bis
fifty sixth birthday when he drove
over to Grafton one day with horse
and buggy to transact some businGSs
1t was a splendid June day, and II
anybody had told the deacon that he
was going TO run int a cyclone within
an hour he would have laughed at the
prediction He was yet four miles
from Grafton and tOiling mp long
hill when the cyclone appeared.
1t had been sitting down on a stone
TO rest, 1t was IA woman with Dnlg-
ing Satchei. She was about forty -fiye
years old and had q pleasant face
She was asked if she didn't want a
lift on her way and was invited to
take seat IN the buggy. She didn't
look at all to the deacon like a cyclone
on wheels-nOt then. Both were nat
urally talkativp. aud inside of ten min
uteS they were talking away like Old
acQuaintances. The cyclone was a
widow named Pardon. She had been
sewing at the house OF a farmer. She
had a married sister living in Grafton.
She had been a widow for five years,
and. while life was going very well
with her. it was a bit lonesome.
Deacon Goodman confessed that 1t
was also bit lonely for him.
Widow Pardon had never considered
second marriage, but if she should
happen to lind the right sort of man
it might set her 10 thinking.
Il understand" replied the deacon as
he nodded his head.
II make my own dresses. and !
should be saving And | can cook a
boiled dinner fit for a king"
Il guess III stop and see your sister
about il. | don't see no sorter use in
waitin Hammer was complainin' this
very mornin about the hardness OF the
housewOrk"
Put it of for a week. and think it
over. / also want to think"
The widow was left at a house in
the village. the deacon's business trans
acted. and be returned home to say to
his sister:
Hammer. you can have your liberty
purity SOON"
What dye mean by that. John"
Pm goin' to get married"
Deacon Goodman was known among
men as a reasonable man." He could
be argued with. and he had often
changed his mind. but in this matter
he was as obstinate as a mule The
minister and others talked TO him, but
without avail. He was on hand on the
day named The sister had nothing to
say for or against. and it was decided
that the marriage should take place In
two weeks. Ii came Off according to
schedule. and the deacon took his bride
home and was happy man-for three
or four days. Then one morning he
suggested that he liked his coffee lit
tie stronger than the wife was making
it, and she whirled on him. threw the
utensil at his head and opened such a
tornado OF abuse that be sat with his
mouth open and stared at her In dumb
surprise.
The good man was still wondering
what had broken loose when the wife
slapped his face and pulled his hair
and ran for the river vowing that she
would drown herself. He sprang up
and followed her. of course, and caught
her just as she was going to take the
plunge.
Ten days later there was a second
outbreak. The deacon got abuse, pro-
family and more vigorous slaps, and
again he caught his wife on the bank
Of the river
In one year there were ten or twelve
outbreaks. and, of course. the matter
became town talk. The good deacon
finally went to his minister about II,
and the latter said:
81 have been waiting for three
months, Brother Goodman"
And you can tell me what should
do?"
''In a very few words. brother"
Separator"
"No."
Get divorceT
"No."
But it's got to end. parson. can't
stand it any longer"
II think | have a plan to end It.
When do you look for the next out
break"
1T may come any day now"
The minister whispered In the dea-
cons ear for the next ten minutes, and
the plan was laid Three days later
there was dispute over a roller towel,
and the outbreak came. At the prop
er moment the wife ran for the river
and was pursued. She was not over
taken, however. She was not seized
and implored She was under such i'm
petus that she went into the river with
a great splash. There was a man with
a boat there. but he let her imbibe
several gallons Of water and sink twice
before he rescued her. She was In bed
for week. and when she crawled out
she WAS an altpred Iyomop Che mn.