Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1913-03-03
THERE'SlFUN IN FRUIT.
o. II. BaTnhill DiscOurses Upon the
Humorous Side of the Apple
Industry.

A thoughtful man can get ideas |
anywhere from a humorous
lecture. The editor of the Record |
went away from the Strickland Gilli- |
land entertainment inspired with the
idea of starting 4 fun factory, the
purpose being to gain subscribers
and thus aument the flow OF scads to
We editors pocket.
The writer of these luminous lines
was struck with a similar idea. but
one having a much broader applica-
ton. Instead of confining the pro-
duction of humor to the newspaper
busineas, why not use the merry
| laugh to lubricate the wheels of
every industry? Journalism is not
the only occupation that can be inn
nroYed by the gentle giggle and the
happy ha! hSl There Is not single
line of human enteayor which does
not have its funny side, ahd every
vein of humor is we'll worth develop
ing.
Fruit growing, for example, is es-
pecially humorous. Every operation,
from pruning the prunes to gather
ing in the shekels for the finished
! product is excrrciatingly funny.
This is especially true of the market
ing end of the business. AS a prac
tical joke, few things can compare
with selling apples. The transaction
is fraught with great possibilities,
both for the joker and the jokee.
The seller finds much amusement
in spending the money and the buy
er gets his in consuming the fruit.
The first little joke of this kind
was pulled off in the Garden of
Tden, which archaeologists have re-
Gently located in the Klamath Falls
country. The gentlemen who have
been delving in the prehistoric lore
have undoubtedly made slight cler-
ical error. Their deductions are ap-
proximately correct, and it is truly
remarkable, when you come to think
of it, how they were able to come
so near the exact location, consider
ing the immense extent of the earth's S
surface 1t is practically certain,
however, that when these anthropo-
logical eXperts-Or whatever they
call themselves-go over their data
again they will discover the small
mistake in their first hasty calcula-
tions and locate the aforesaid gar
den where every resident of Jackson
county has known all along that ii
belonged-in the Rogue river valley.
No one who is acquainted with the
two localities above named could for
moment believe that the Supreme
Being would have chosen the frosty
plains and alkali flats of the Klam-
ath country in preference to this de.
lectable valley, where the pine tree
meets the palm, land flowing with
milk and soda water, where every
rancher can sit under his own vine
, and plum tree and listen to the melo
dious Wolf Howls that emanate from
the Record office. No; omniscienc'
would never have mare such a mis-
take as that-it is sacrilege to sug
gest it.
If any additional proof be needed
to clinch the claim of this localit!
that here may be found the origina
homestead entry OF Mr. Adam, it il
found in the fact that the finest ap
pie in all the world-acco"ding tC
the highest authorities-the Spitzen
burg, reaches greater perfection here
than anywhere else. The judges Of
the National Apple Show held a
: Spokane in 1909 were of the same
opinion, awarding the grand sweep
stakes prize Of 1000 to a carload OF
Rogue river Spitzehburgs
Can there be any further doubt
regarding the identity of the apple
= which tempted Eve The "apples oi
gold in pictures of silver" men
toned in holy writ and the golden
aprle of Hesperides" were und0rbt,
ely the Yellow Newtown Pippin
which also grows here to perfection
However, nothing but big( red ap-
pie like the Royal Esopsus Spitzen-
burg could have tempted the first
} lady of the land. 1t is no eXtrava-
giant claim to assert that the Spitz-
} enburg trees in the writer's orchard
are the direct lineal descendants OF
that first Edenic tree, propagated by
long line of nurserymen, who have
, ever been the greatest of grafters.
} The eating of that first apple re
suited in stimulating all lines of in
dustry, the clothing trade being the
first one affected The moral is
plain: eat apples and business will
BOOM If the fruit happens to bt
green the doctors and druggists vii
be kept busy. Should the purchase
hail from the pie belt he will fine
M ME finn har auuaI IN anDlpS FlOu