Alamogordo news-advertiser., 1913-05-09
Exhibition Last Sunday Lively
Enough, but Enthusiasm and
Athletics Give Way to Arnica
and Bread -and-MiIk PouItices
FATS WIN BY NARROW
MARGIN OF 20 TO 7
Was Some Baseball, the Heav-
lest Lean" Weighing 200
Pounds and Lightest Fat"
96: Too Sad to be Funny
SOME PATHETIC BALLAD.

(By Scoops Assistant)
THE Fats versus the Leans; or
the Slaughter of the Innocents,"
would have made an excellent title
for the seven-act mellow drama
which was staged at the old base
ball park on Sunday afternoon 4
very large and enthusiastic bunch
of some fifty-odd fans and rooters
was on the job To some of the
spectators the play seemed sort
OF roaring farce comedy, to judge
by their compliments (?) upon the
actor-players; but the Leans" OBJ
jected to the use of this term. As
they limped painfully to and from
the field, or wheezed slowly from
base to base. they bore mute testi-
mony that it was not funny 10 be
caught under that awful weight of
Fats and get mercilessly flattened
out upon a dusty landscape. The
Fats" annexed the fat end of the
box score, as was fitting and proper,
but there was not one of them who
made Ty Cobb look like a loafer
running bases.
lin Hill was the Impresario who
led the ancient and honorable order
OF puffy squads, with Bill Renshaw
IN the role of chief Buccaneer of
the elongated midgets. Impresario
Hill elected to establish general
headquarters at 3rd base. while
Buccaneer Renshaw chose the oppo-
site station, just to prove that he
resembled the Impresario in no way
whatever CThe Buccaneer did not
make this important selection of
his camp until he had carefully
measured the distances and found
that he would be just as close to
home plate and the pitchers box
as lmpresario Hill The Bucca-
Heer at first had a suspicion that
the willy lmpresario was trying to
out-maneuver himD.
Then began the slaughter. with
the Fats" at bat. II was like a
moonlight sonata or symphony, such
as you can hear in the Alamogordo
back-yards when the cats get peey-
/ isl and tretful. II was funny where
Il wasn't sad. The final score was
20 TO :. II will be seen that the
<; me- was very close, the Leans
"a king only 10 runs of tieing the
/ sC ore. Martin Kearney. Frank Cad
III aud Frank Kearney pitched puz-
zlers for the Fats. while Big
Chief Walter Baird did all the re-
cciying. Myron Kellogg. Howard
! B ;echer and Little Bill Johnson al
tsrnated between the Matty and
Killing stunts for the Leans" aid
ed and abetted in the mound work
by Rube Marquard Lockney. Walter
Johnson Patty and the Buccaneer
himself tried TO bean few with
+ Joe Wood smoky slants.
Sharks Walters. late of the Star
fish Giants of La Luz, Jumped" the
! whole game His work as an UNI
pire was 50 satisfactory that he got
To go to The hospital instead of the
mOrgue. II is reported that enough
repairs can be made to his frame
TO enable him TO butt into anoth-
er game In about two years. This
report has not been confirmed hy
the hospital
The heaviest Lean weighed
only goo pounds the lightest Fat
crowded the indicator up TO the
80 mark. There was no record oi
hits. errors and bone-head plays
the paper and pencil supply was moi
heavy enough fof such n strain
The one consolation of the Leans
Is that the Fats" individually ant
collectively. and Notwithstanding
their overwhelming victory. hav,
Just as many aching bones. tiret
muscles and throbbinf nerves.
Out Of the wordy aftermath Of tia
holocaust limps the timid rumo
that the fielding and batting aver
age Of DR.. Guthrie Smlth-"Gloom,
Gus" the gliding. galloping glad
iator; the greedy. graceful. gritty
gagping giant the cleaning gunpow
der gallant was .00O per cent: Il
other words. perfect. The reoor
Ia lost and the understudy Of Tes
reau Is still running bases and can
T not be pursuaded 10 either deny o
confirm the reflection on his hith
erto pastoral pursuits.
+. The lineup cannot be given. q
the city directory has been lost.
-O--=
Mica lfna .trtotn s,ooa. sk..... .