The Washington herald., 1913-02-21
sTATEMEH-REAL AND NEAR
By FRED G. KELLY,

Dick Hobson told a new one the other
day about the late Bob Evans s Shortly
before the Spanish-American war broke
out. the Spanish warship viscaya visited
New York Harbor. and the captain boast
ed. half Jokingiy. at dinner that II could
sink any ship in the United States Navy.
Bob Evans was present, and was pointed
out to the visiting Spaniard as captain
Of boat that really was a boat-the
Iowa.
In case Of war" said the spaniard.
TN see to 1t personally that the viscaya
sinks the Iowa"
Well. the war came. and at Santiago
the yiscaya was riddled to pieces and
sunk with a big gurgle. The captain was
wounded. and. as chance would have 1t,
ne was brought on board the Iowa to be
cared for. Evans was extremely courtly
IN MS manner, and told the wounded war
rior that he should have the best cabin
and the best surgical attention the ship
anorded- He also handed him some
cigars. at the same time apologizing for
their quality.
We've been unable to get any rood
said
Havanas!" murmured the wounded
spanish captain. with deep emotion. as
ne sazed across the waters toward where
MS ship had Just gone down. "Ah-h, we
mad 1000 Havanas aboard the yiscaya,"
Ten thousand Havanas." repeated Bob
Evans We'll. why in thunder, didn't you
tell US that little sooner"
Along about the 5th or 9Th Of March
or thereabouts, residents OF the Twenty
frst Ward, out in Chicago, are destined
to look out OF the window and wonder II
IT'S merely March day or II It's mov-
ing day in May. When the present ad-
ministration goes out 1t is going to do
more for the population OF the Twenty
nrst ward, Chicago. than for any other
one ward in the whole United States.
Franklin MacVeagh. Secretary OF tn.
Treasury; his private secretary, Francis
Taylor, and Walter Fisher, Secretary OF
the interior, all come from the Twenty
first Ward And there are a lot more.
including Representative Evans, who now
retires; Benjamin S. Cable, Assistant
secretary OF Commerce and Labor and
samuel Adams, Assistant Secretary of
the Interior They were all good friends
UP until short time ago. Now they are
racked by petty tealousies over who will
nave first use of the moving vans when
they get back to the old Twenty-first
Ward.
Representative-elect Emmett wilson,
the Florida applicant for the youngest
Congressman awards. was prosecuting a
moonshine whisky case in his capacity
as United States District Attorney. The
prisoner was defended by a brother of
young Wilson. who is also q lawyer.
And how did you happen to make the
stun, the moonshiner was asked
The doctor told me to make little
bit for my wife when she was sick" he
replied.
II came out that the doctor he referred
TO was brother of the two lawyer VIII
sons
So the judge raped with impatience
This things getting to be too much of
a family affair" he said. "One brother
tells him to make the stuff. another pros
ecutes him for doing so. and still an
other one comes to the rescue and de-
fends him. That's OVERRIDING co-opera-
ton"
And here's a coincidence: The only
young Wilson of Florida and DR.. Frank
f. Wilson OF Brooklyn. The Florida
mans father is a doctor. and his name
is Frank Z. Wilson.
Senator Myers of Montana thinks
the ideal life should be that Of a Sem
ator from a Southern State. You see. a
Southern Senator has no pension or
public land matters to bother with.
And Myers figures that II a Senator
were relieved of those two items his
work would be comparatively bed Of
dahlias.
"A man could just devote himself"
says Myers. ito having a nice time"
Senator Bacon is one OF the leading
apostles of Senatorial dignity. Mingled
with this is a disposition to be kindly
toward his fellow man.
One afternoon the secretary of an
other Senator asked Bacon. out IN the
lobby. II his man were in the chamber
Walk right back and see II you can
find him." suggested Bacon You have
the privilege Of the floor, you know"
Then he noticed that the secretary
had a hat and cane in his hand.
II guess you'd better not go in after
ALL" he said: with a hat and cane in
your hand it might look undignined to
somebody in the galleries"
Copyright, 1913. by Frcd G. Kelly An rshts ~