davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
Dinner Stories

Noodles Is the LATEST man. I know
he has an invention fixed SO that by
merely pulling a. wire in bed he can
light the fire. But that don't seem
TO Improve matters any,"
Why not?"
Hes too lazy to pull the wire"
A Philadelphia business man tells
this story on himself:
You know in this city there are
two telephone companies and in nv
office 1 have a telephone of each com.
pany. Last week ] hired a new office
boy n n of his duties was to
answer the telephone. The other day
when one Of the bells rang he an
swered the call and then came III and
told me | was wanted on the phone
by my wife. -
Which one?" 1 inquired quickly.
thinking of the two telephones, Of
course.
PLEASE. sir stammered the boy.
I don't know how many you have"
En- route for Egypt, F. Doubleday
Page. the publisher. described on the
Adiriatic the doubtful pleasures Of
camel riding.
You know the game of cup and
hall?" he, said. you have a ball
and a cup n YOU toss the ball in
the air and try to catch 1t in the cup.
then toss and try to catch II again
and SO on. Well when o ride a
camel the beast plays cup and ball
with You, missing o nearly every
time"
f. Dana Durand.. director Of the
census. was discussing his unusually
complete reports. which show, among
other interesting things that 341.277
divorced Americans have not remar.
ried.
divorce is prevalent among u.s.
he said. because we arc prone to re.
gard marriage selfshly. There is ar
anecdote which eliminates our sci.
fishness in the marital relation.
VIVA is the difference between q
white lie n Il black lie?' a philoso.
phcr one was asked.
ga white lic.' the philosopher an,
swered, is the kind Of lie we think
We tell u wives. and a black lie Il
the kind WI think our wives tell u.s.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
. . . . . . . . . .
THE NEED OF MEAT. .

Ever since the human diet has been
studied in a scientific manner the
principle has become established that
the average human being requires for
his daily consumption four ounces of
protein matter. a y a prominent ply
sician. This protein matter. as it is
called, il the chief nutritive principle
OF all foods derived from animal
sources. Thus, for instance. the meats
of the different animals supply pro-
tein material. Fish. eggs. cheese and
milk rank among the most important
sources of this nutritivc principle so
essential to the maintenance of a
sound physical constitution.
The vegetables. as a rule. have very
little protein. But there are ON ex-
ceptions. The dried bean. for exam-
pie. contains as much protein material
as some of the meats. The cereals are
very rich in this foodstuff. oatmeal
having as much as is per e Bread
and nuts are also among the foods
we'll supplied with protein matter. 1t
is for this reason that the cereals and
the legumes. such as peas and beans.
are Of great value as side dishes to
meat. They supply part Of the pro.
tein in the form of vegetable instead
of animal meat at a much lower cost.
Not only do these vegetables serve as
good substitutes for part OF the meat,
but by virtue of the starches contain
ed in them they also serve to give a
Wholesome mixed diet.
Meat of the average quality contains
about 20 per cent Of proteins and 10
cent. Of fat. The rest is water and
other materials. Meat. therefore. is a
highly concentrated food. There is a
great deal of nutritive material in
small bulk. To supply the same guam.
tity through vegetables. the bulk OF
the food would become SO large and
the i%ndiges:ible vegetable fibre so cx-
cessive as to embarrass the powers OF
digestion.
Meat, then. is a real need in the or
binary mans diet. Onc-half pound
Of meat daily will supply about two
ounces of protein matter, or about
one-half of the daily requirement.
The other half should be supplied
through the Use Of bread. cereals. and
vegetables. Through such moderate
use Of meat his wholesome and high
ly nutritious foodstuff could be had
at comparatively little cost.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

is no general desire for the submits
sion of that question, and if there is
no general desire. the question ought
not to be submitted.
On the matter OF constitutional
amendments. it is better to go not
quite far enough than to go too far.
The amendment which is to be voted
on leaves unchanged the present
method Of amending the constitution.
Nothing is taken away. and nothing
is made more difficult than it is now.
II will still be possible. IL the amend
ment is adopted, to amend the con-
stitution in the same manne that it is
amended now. And. under the present
method. we arc amending the consti.
tuition every year. We amended it last
year. n at the election before that.
and We will vote next fall on several
other amendments. and if the people
want them they will get them. Amend
ment under the present system, then,
is far from impossible.
The new bill adds to the present
method another of which complaint
is made because IT is not quick and
easy enough. We reply that a con-
stitution ought not to be easily amend
cd. If il is made as easy to amend
tho constitution as to amend the stat
utcs. why have a constitution at allc
Why not treat all laws alike. and
amend al We please? Eut if there is
any value in a constitution it ought to
be a thing of more permanence than
the laws that are passed from year to
year under its authority. If the pro-
posed amendment is adopted it will!
possible for the people to pass any
amendment of e Importance for
which there is a general demand
the state. and to do so re-
gardless Of the attitude OF the legis.
The thing cannot he started
by one man. or a mere handful OF
men. but it can be started IL there is
a general demand for it. and while
the proposed amendment may not go
quite far enough, i, is better than il 1t
too far.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
TUESDAY. MARCH II. 1918.
NO SIGNIFICANCE.

One of the speakers at the indisna-
ton meeting in Washington on Sunday
in denouncing the action of the moi
that broke up the suffrage parade got
things somewhat mixed. He said that
the movement had passed through the
stages of ridicule and argument. and
now had reached the point where its
opponents resort to physical oppose
don. 1t would be as unfair to con
meet the disorder in Washington a
week ago with opposition to woman
suffrage as it would be to load the NO.
man suffrage movement in America
with the odium of the crazy antics of
q lot Of unbalanced women in London.
There are many hundreds Of thou
sands Of very reputable people. men
and women. in this country who do not
believe that woman suffrage would be
They concede the perfect right Of 9TH
er persons to entertain and express
other views. Many of them have rid
1culcd ON OF the things done in this
country in the name Of woman suf-
frage. notably the "hikes' across coun-
try which have been taken. and they
had a perfect right to ridicule these
things, because they were ridiculous.
They may have questioned the wisdom
of the Washington parade. But they
denounce as heartily as do the VIC
Tins themselves all interference with
Il. And the disorder in connection
With that parade cannot properly be
interpreted as having any significance
whatever. The city was crowded with
several hundred thousand curiosity
seekers from all parts of the country.
The parade was a spectacle which
they went to witness as they would
have gone to Sec any other show.
They crowded the streets as people
will on any similar occasion, and the
authorities had most d%cplorably failed
to supply a sufficient force to control
the crowd. That was the whole trou-
BILE. And in any uncontrolled crowd
the hoodlum element comes to the
front. as it did there. The incident
was a deplorahle one. but it has no
more bearing on the question Of wo-
man suffrage, or on The popular atti-
tude on that subject. than has the
fluctuation of the tides.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
A BATCH OF SMILES

Mrs. Ives was only a bride, still she
had clearly formed ideas on industrial
questions. One morning, when a
species of human being known as
tramp" called at the door and asked
for something to eat, she looked to-
ward the woodpile in the back yard.
Well" she told him, II will give
YOU something to eat II You will ge.
AXE"
"oh, I shan't need that" the tramp
interrupted in a reassuring tone. MY
teeth are all right"
Three little girls each had received
q silver spoon as a Christmas Gift.
Mine has From your papa on the
HANDLE" said Georgia.
Mine has To my loving daughter
chime in Margaret.
And mine,' said Mabel, proudly,
says Hotel Auditorium"
Howard Chandler Christy was Civ
ing a dinner one evening in honor of
q number of famous artists. Frivolity
prevailed and Dol the conversation
turned to art.
Said one of them: THE other day
l painted a little deal board in imita-
ton of marble with such accuracy
that on being thrown into the water
it Immediately sank to the bottom"
"Faugh!" said another. "Yestor-
day / hung my thermometer on tho
easel supporting my view Of the polar
regions. 1t fell ut once twenty de-
grees below freezing point
"All that is nothing" remarked the
third artist in conclusion. "My por-
trait of 4 prominent New York mil
lionaire was so lifelike that dt had to
be shaved twice a week"
Will West. chief comedian in sup
port of Donald Brian in THE Siren,''
although thought by everybody an
American. is really a native Of Lon
don. Each summer Mr.. West goes
home. visiting in London his aged
father. During Will Vests last visit
to England new elections were on and
the budget was up for general discus
sion over the country. Eager to hear
some of the English statesmen on the
stump. Mr.. West attended a crowded
meeting at Manchester where Mr.. As
'quith was to speak. The hall was
packed to suffocation; but the speak
er was prompt and got to the business
Of England's financial difficulties
quickly. Lucidly. pungently and earn
estly. after his usual manner, Mr.. As
qutth was IN the midst OF q closely
knit statement Of England and her
fiscal ailment when one Of the several
hundred crowded in the middle of tho
hall shouted out:
Yves. Mr.. Asquith, but what did
Gladstone do in 1902" At once there
an uproar and general shouts of
Throw him. OUT" and then quiet was
restored. The speaker resumed. But
NJ sooner had Mr.. Asquith again
struck his gait than the stentorian cry
Of What did Gladstone do in 1902"
filled the hall once more. This was
too much for tho rest Of tho gather
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

Perhaps he need never know. And
eve while her nervous lips framed u
poilte sentence anent tho weather her
anEntshed ewes saw that Herbert hal
cheekily donned one OF the ties.>
II Mr.. Henderson recognized it!
Presently he looked at it e~nviously.
Herbert caught the glance and precn-
ed himself.
Some tie, Ell. You can bet no
woman picked that out. I'll tell you
now l happened to come by it,"
HERBERT" Kissed Elizabeth. II
think Fanny IL calling you. Maybe
mother needs you"
II didn't hear anyone" Herbert re.
pied. calmly. when E%lizabcth was
coming home tonight she got caught
SO did l." said MIR. Henderson, in
depressed annoyance. And a most i'll.
nred girl-net to call her by a strong.
er word-did me out Of Il package Of
eravats One" gloonily. 'was of that
same pattern: the las, the salesman
had. intended them for a Christmas
present for you, and was carrying
them out because YOU can't hank on
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
HOGS HOO TODAY
BY John ". carey.)

Who smashes not the window
glass IL stubborn mankind baik at
ballots for the women. folk, but
goes and takes a walk? Who
fares not forth in search Of gore
with hatpin or with pike, but
calls her sisters roundabout and
takes 'em on a hike? Who'd
have it plainly understood that
Gen'l Coxey, sir. and Edward
Payson Weston haven't got a
thing on her? Whose jaunt from
York to Washington will take it,
place, we wis. with Sherman's
well-known seward march-and
Cy's anabasis? Who says she'll
walk and walk and walk, in spite
Of aching bones. until she strikes
n voting booth? Why, Gen'l
Rosie Jones.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
# YOU. Have GREY HAIR
YOUR ABILITY IS DOUBTED


10 ats natural color Immediately.
Don't waste time with substitutes.
.neleS only one. Hays Hair Health,
aesa oy thousands with absolute salts.
taouon ior twenty years. Druggists
oeV sol Hays Hair Health 10 lone to
% many satisfied people everywhere
VINO come back again for It and won't
w.. any other. that they are perfectly
wn.lne 20 guarantee 1t and give your
money back II it's not satisfactory
Alter . fair trial.
free: Sign this adv. and take It to tho
1I'oWine druggists and get q SOC. bot
t!e OF Hay's' Hair Health ana = Csc.
I'VE OF Harina Soap. for 60c.; or 500
0ott'e OF Hays Hair Health and two
|0c' CAKES OF Harana Soap Free, for 81
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
BETTER TO GO SLOWLY.

Some Of the direct legislation en-.
thusiasts complain Of the action Of
the legislature because Of the submis-
sion to the people at the ext election
Of initiative and referendum PROPOSE
tons which. they fear. will be inoper-
attve because Of the high percentage
OF the number of voters required to
Sign petitions. We do not believe the
criticism to be we'll founded, under
the circumstances.
The bill for the initiation and ref.
erence Of statutory legislation pro-
vides that when a proposed law is in
atisted by petition it shall be signed
by not less than ten per cent of the
voters. and when a measure passed by
the legislature Is referred to the peo-
pie for action the petition shall be
signed by ten Per cent of the voters
The Ployhar-Blakemore bill fixes these
percentages at not more than eight
per cent in fhe case. and not more
than fre per cent in the other. On
the whole the higher percentage ap-
pears to be the wiser. especially az we
must realize that notwithstanding the
brief experience of a few states such
as Oregon. legislation of this kind f.,
America is still largely experimental.
Our government is in its theory a
representative government, and there
is every reason to believe that it will
remain always representative in prac.
t!ce. Whatever provisions we may
adopt to give the voters direct access
to matters Of legislation. and oppor-
tunity to act directly when they de-
sire, with a very few exceptions our
laws will continue to be made by men
elected by h people for the pur-
pose. and not by the people them.
selves. 1t il not necessary, nor is it
desirable that all the proposed la I'VE.
or many of them. shall he submitted
to the people for their decision. It is
desirable that the people shall have
opportunity to vote directly on such
laws as they consider 10 be in need OF
their direct action, but these laws arc
very few.
The value Of the initiative and ref
0tSu0o1u do dppIleu W tHe statutes lies
in the fact that it will act as a re.
straint on the legislature against the
passage Of bad laws: az a stimulus to
the passage of good laws: and as a
means Of securing M expression OF
the will OF the state In cases where
the legislature is in doubt and unable
to decide. 1t is not to be desired tina,
ut each election the people shall be
called on to vote on a flood of bills
about which they have not had oppor
tunity to become Well informed, and
in which they are not particularly in.
terested. And 1t is not unreasonabl.
to require that before a bill, whether
proposed directly or passed by the leg
islature. shall be submitted ia popula,
vote. ten per cent of the voters shall
have signifed a desire that this shall
he done. II ten per cent of the voter
will not sign Il petition asking tina
"A proposition he submitted. that fac
will be fairly clear evidence that ther,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

inE: so without further rejoinders the
owner of the interrupting voice was
elected from the hall. With one grand
rush he was hurled into the street as
1t he were a sack Of meal. Then Curl
osity took hold of a Scotchman who
had helped kick the intruder out
curiosity so unconquerable that the
Scotchnan walked over to the elected
citizen of Manchester. and narrowly
watching him pick himself up and
brush his clothes, sarcastically inquir-
cd: Weel. now that it's all y what
did Gladstone do in 1892" ''E3lamed
If KNOW" answered the bedraggled
and excited fnterrupter, 'but I've got
to catch a train and that's the only
way I could get out of that hail."
Graham Il. Nichol, who, being tho
best poker player in the national cap
ital. plays with some OF Washington's
biggest and richest men. was being
told one morning of a game the even
inE before. when a stranger had lost
an immense sum of money.
That's always my luck!" lamented
Nichol. whenever there's a lot of
soup around I'm about twelve blocks
away with Il fork in. my hand"
The Rev. Dr. Macdonald from
Toronto, in looking over his hotel bill
and seeing the extra charges the other
day, said 1t reminded him Of an incl
dent which happened in Edinburgh.
One wet Sunday morning." he
said. II hired a cab to 20 to nv
church. On reaching my destination
rendered the cabby the legal fare. a
shilling. and was surprised to hear the
cabby say, Two shillin,' SIR
~ looked at the extortioner and
asked why he charged two shillings,
to which he dryly answered: We wish
to discourage travelling on the Sab
bath as much as possible, SIR"
While a Young American was on a
trip abroad he visited the unit
home of a friend, and among the 9TH
er guests was a prominent English
man.
During their visit he and the Eng
hsnman had became good friends.
One day the Americans curiosity
was aroused Is he heard his friend
refer to an umbrella repeatedly as a
Gag" :"
piled:
WHY. that is an American word: I
picked 1t up when J. was in New York
last winter. / am positive that I have
the correct meaning of the word be-
u II boys often remarked when
tneN Raw ann coming down thu,
street when it was raining hard:
!aerc ne comes carrying a large lag"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

A crowd Of people throngcd one Of
the Washington churches on Sunday
for the purpose OF seeing the presi-
dent. They missed the president. and
got nothing out of the visit but an op.
%portunity to worship. The president
saw the crowd first. and went and
worshipped somewhere else.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

JONES'" New York Tribune. This quo.
tation explains how naturally Mr..
Conan has drawn the characters in
his new play. There Is a genuineness
about this piece Of stage writing that
stamps 1t with sure success from the
moment the curtain rises on the irst
act. and the fact that the progress Of
the play Is accompanied by a moral
lesson that is conveyed in an atmos-
phere of. almost constant laughter
furnishes an appeal that ia irresisti.
BILE n altogether satisfyinE.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11
ADJUSTMENTS
Ths Balkan Priucess.

e(S
Coming to the Metropolitan tonight
the attraction will be the tuneful Eng
lish musical comedy. THE Balkan
Princess" under the management Of
Samuel f. Rork. who has given us
many musical treats in the past. The
supporting company includes Julia
clifford. n. f. Dano. Eulalic Young,
Wallace Berry. Mae Harrington, Vera
Rossmore. William Meyer, George
Poultney. Jos. y. Standish and Tom
Van. There are twenty musical num-
bers. with a variety of song hits and
others of greater musical worth.
Broadway Jones.
the Metropolitan on Monday. March
~. comes with q stamp OF success on
It, having been endorsed by every
paper In New York as the greatest
play that has been produced on
Broadway in years.
Some people can live on Broadway
all their lives. and never know what
the place really is until they go and
see. Mr.. Cohan's play Broadway
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-11

Don't worry about what the other.
FELLOW Is going to do. Let your suner.
Tor activities worry him.
b man who tells the truth. the
wnole truth. and nothing but the truth
~ az times can never hope 10 be
popular in human society.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-10-01

Before tae decisive battle at Ishtib
en-. Ingenious method OF signaling on
tie part Of the eaegay was discovered
by the Sery-fans. a Cowherd WAS tax
Ing Eve cows out 70 PASTURE on 4 bin
halfway between tbe tr0 camps lie
drove theGa about. sometimes two to-
geJner. then one n time, then three.
thus c0uTeSiHg information - gbe Bal
cariars rs T. the positioa ard strength
OF tie ServIan battalioas-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-10-01

TIE New Girdie and Sash RIB
bon, all desirable eolors in wide
Ribbon. Satin, moira and faille at
SOC and s1.oo a yard.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-10-01
What q FURRY,
Autumn is Here

Furs have to be order
ed out OF storage,
Dinner frocks plan
ned for the Event OF the
Season - Fate some
times depends on a
Frock.
Shoes and gloves have
to be restocked. All the
handkerclliefs that have
waved themselves away
during the Summer
must be replaced.
Street Frocks and
Hats must be looked up.
Oh dear. And the
teas and invitations are
coming thick and fast!
There isn't time to
think.
What's the easiest
way And the quickest
Way And the surest
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-10-01

Heavy Fan overoosa s45oBoys clouds store second ZOO
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-10-01

5 55-. .-.@. ...5 a7 -..... e
El Nuevo mexicano., 1913-01-11

I'm resfriado penoso. con ronquers
Y corta respiration es Ia clase que
desarrolIa en- bronquitis 8 pulmonia
No dejen pasar tan serias condolences
pero tomen IL Compota de Mel y All
quitran de Foley prontamente. Result
tados prontos y benefciosos son exac'
tamente los que listed puede esperar
de esta medicine. Suaviz a y cura
los pasajes de aire inflamados.
Para la molesta tos ronca. De venta
en- todas las boticas.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1913-01-11
Los cARTERos voLARAN.

tNHE+NW4 800 HMNMt
Esta es una edad de grandes descu.
brimientos. FL progreso Gamma On 81
aire. Pronto yeremos a los carteros
del Ito Samuel volando EN- todas di-
recciones. lleyando correo. Ia gente
toma in interes maravilloso en- un
descubrimiento que IL do beneficio
Por ESQ es que Ell Nuevo Descubri-
miento del Dr. King para Toses. Res
friados y otras Intermediates de Ia
garganta y pulmones es la rhedicina
mas popular en- America. Me euro
de una tos desastrosa, escribe Ia sra.
y F. Davis. Stickney Corner. Me,
"despues que 81 tratamiento del Dir.
y todos los otros remedies habian fall
tado.' Para toses, resfriados 8 cuels
quier affection bronQuial es sin igual
Precio Scots y s1.00. Botella de prue-
|ba gratis. pc yenta On todas las boz
ticas.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1913-01-11
Aviso.
AVIsQ.
Departamento del ~.Ingeniero deEstado
Numero de Aplicacion 694.

4 4nErtoao
Departments get -inkenIe1o u0-s N
Numero de Aplicaclon oSa.
Santa Re, y ~. nc ~ go
Por esta se az ayiso Que 81 w
de Diciembre, 1872, en- conIolnlieau
con Ia Seccion ~, Ley &c rrieao
de 1907, s. X, Norment, de oansn ro'
condado de Santa ~ Estaao x 1sae
vo Mexico, hizo ~apiicacion " inssnie
ro del Estado de Nuevo MeAAco Y.
I'm permiso para apropiar ne ~ ~,
rrientes de aqua del Estaao ~ ASueso
Mexico.
Tai appropriation va q scr 2 uei
El Nuevo mexicano., 1913-01-11
|PIQuETE De uN INsEcTo cosTo
UNA PtERNA.

I'm homre de Boston perdi6 su pier
ma del piquete de un insecto dos amos
pasados. Para evitar tales calamida
des de mordidas y piquetes de insec
tos usen la Saliva Amica de Buck
len prontamente para matar el vene
no y eyitar inflammation, hinchazon )
dolor. Cura quemaduras, ~diayiesos, III
ceras, almorranas, eczema, cortadu
ras, Iastimaduras. Solamente rs cts
en- todas las boticas.
El Nuevo mexicano., 1913-01-11

Cuatrocientas millas recorrieron a
pie seis s~ufraguistas desde Edimbur-
60 d Londres para pedir al ministro
Asauith el derecho de vote para las
mujeres.