New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-08
AS | WAS SAYING

Not a ray Of hope that Governor Sulzer VIII run
for Mayor! What with old friends turning up oiu
times repeating themselves at the top OF ther iuss'
and old flames suing him for his fatal beauty lie
is having too much fun where he is.
Since the camels set up their claim to American
descent there has been JOY and great thanktuiiesa
among the Japs. Aryans? Why. they are not oh''
Aryans but Americans, transpanted to ASIA by
way of the Aleutian Isthmus since ruptured li'eS
were the first Yankees. and left because Things hau
taken a turn for the worse in the Garden of Eden
now Reno.
In the days Of Dom Pedro the Good, the Brazilian
negroes were being emancipated few al tllne'
and the freedmen were allowed to wear SHOES Na'-
urally the shoes hurt, so they would take "'eln
off and carry them in their hands But never would
YOU see an ex-slave at large without those symoos
of the New Freedom.
This was thirty-odd years ago. yet oehold VIVA
happens I'm New York in the days Of Woodrow the
WISE White men take off their coats to escape
torment and show their independence, ana carry
them as a symbol of bondage.
Domestic service is under the control OF women
says Mr. e. 5. Martin in his astonishing new pooK anu
many a housewife has become indignant, imagining
her kind were being pointed out to the congregation
and under false and undeserved charge at that
No such thing! Mr. Martin is merely painting US a
truthful and instructive picture Of high life belo"
stairs.
II was no gentleman who said, mo gentleman
will write epigrams," for this would Involve an
unpardonable side-slap at the gifted lady in LIP
pincott's"-by name Mnna Thomas Antrim-whose
epigrams we hugely relish For instance the Ioi-
inwIng 'Pessimisms':
"Democracy-The theory that two thieves VIII
steal less than one"
.Polygamy-The risks OF matrimony multiplied
by X"
"suclde-A belated acquiescence in the opinions
of ones wife's relatives"
Excellent. these! A sermon In every ine-especlaiy
the last, Mutitudes would be restrained from
suicide II they stopped TO consider how 1t would
tickle their wives relatives.
We learn that Mr.. Arthur Maltby the tailor and
novelist, received MS first encouragement In the
form of a pat on the head from Robert Browning
This doubtless is what explains his habit Of writing
in the dark.
Our friends the fly fanciers will relish the pretty
story we steal from never mind where. II concerns
the preacher who said: Yes. beloved, unless ye
repent We shall surely perishas surely, beloved as
i'll Kill this blue fy."
oh. wicked. wicked fly Next moment the preacher
was admitting sorrowfully, Beloved. there's "A
chance for you yet"
Mosquitoes even. are less treacherous than flies
Picture college professor presiding at chapel exer
oises and reading a passage where the Scripture
saith He that liveth TO the flesh" and pausing to
STAY a mosquito and continuing with Internationally
dramatic effect, rs dead while he liveth!'
Miss Agnes Repplier has been observing that in
these days mo one gets beyond middle age or the
prime of life" whereas only generation ago
it was thought witty TO put on the old duffer at
twenty-five. open the Glass Album for rs and sec
how true this is. Great Methuseah, what ven
cradle frock coats, what solemn string ties, what
torrential whskers! Then survey the Oldest living
graduate skipping across the links in particolored
rompers firing out three caddies hour. and COM
ing home so frsky and hirtatous that the liveliest
Of fair heart breakers can barely keep up with him.
Younger and younger we grow, and as our favorte
author (ahemD has so ably remarked IF this con-
tinues we shall soon be teething another's
watch chains"
The Post -Impressonist Peril has swept by and We
doubt If many will again attempt to see nature
through the eyes of a four-and a-half-ye old
urchir" This is, Of course, encouraging, but you
will find that achieve a great gain without
some incidental loss, and are opposed to those
who would forever scorn the four and half year
olds, since-as Mr. Paxton Bennett, the well known
painter and naturalist, informs us-youngsters "are
sometimes exceedingly hot Wies at seeing nature"
We take exception to Mr.. Benefits shocking verbi-
age but applaud his principles. Yesterday we
asked our small friend. Imogen Elizabeth, If she
favored asparagus. Some" she said. Il like the
crocheted part''
1t has puzzled to know how write jokes in
hot weather-that is, till see the poor darlings
in the paper next morning. and then all is only
foo cIaari r l., H