New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-01
AS I WAS SAYING

Look children. Thee sun is shining, and thee
MERCURY has only got down to four hundred ana
six in thee shade and there amt no shade and old
General Hugh Nudity is watering thee stocks
and a Dit e-ous hot, swearing. sizzling man Is OUT
in 1t.
See thee man. His coat is made for winter ana
he has borrowed his trousers from Lincoln Stcl-
ans-son thee sha-mer Of thee tow-head-ed Es-N-
mos, and thee COLLAR under when he Is so "o' -
a deu-ced mean joke on thee man.
Listen dear chil-dren This Silly, friv-o-lous'
vain IRA ton al crea ture believes ne Is ht-ted
for thee ballot If he does not de-sst We snail teel
II our mora duty expose him in par-a-graPh'
Personally. we don't If they advance the
price of qunine to the shocking figure foreshadowed
in the papers but how heart bleeds for those
Florida health resorts.
Guess where we find the picture of "a happy out
look on Life? Not in The outlook" though that
ostimabe journal might we'll be proud of ii, as the
cover Of The outlook" in the picture bears the
merry announcements: 'Hurrah Murray! by
Theodore Roosevelt and 'Ha. Ha! Ha' by Lyman
Abbott"
We welcome this hilarious new policy on Ihe
Outooks" part. 1t is high time the saints got gay
with the sinners. who have laughed at sancuty iar
TOO long we think and are whole lot funnier than
the saints.
Bold Sheffield Ingalls,. Of Kansas, is certainly some
pious Fneas Moved by flial devotion, ne seeks 10
rescue his fathers efiiGy from Statuary HAN mat
chamber Of horrors in the nations Capitol Bravo
Shelf. We applaud this zeal and are for rescuing
the other dummies also. Pantaloons and the Prince
Isaac a sad detriment to art
In this matter we bow TO the Parlsisns. who get
around the tailoring problem by Erecting simple
bust about which they assemble congress OF lovely
bronze marble ladies, IMPLYING Truth justice
Peace Wisdom, Patriotism etc.
Does It seem to YOU that these adoring attendants
Introduce new perpleXites as 10 drapery' Then, by
blue. it IS proof that you passed them with face
averted. Not that we blame you. II was the best
way and a token OF delicate consideration FOR the
gentleman whose monument they infest
our compliments 10 that darling Of fortune, Mr.
ElIery Sedgwick, who is again seated In huge luck
lust when his Atlantic Monthly was about TO pub
llsh n plea for a commission on railway accidents
came the glorious smash at Stamford. and now that
M. brings out Mr.. Fielding Hairs treatise on The
Causation Of Crime" behold how its path has been
srewn with roses by those dear. obliging souls at
Sing Sing
Oh jolly. In our judgment their floral amenities
were misapplIcd FOR fine. festive treatise 1t IT,
See how Brother Hyphen raises hob with heredty
enihc' nonsense is talked and written as on this Of
heredity. Not very much is known Of 1t as regards
plants less OF animals and almost nothing as re-
CARDS humanity. TO read books on heredity is, espe-
cally those Of the Eugene Society. to read a mass
Of suppositons and hazardous inductons, where
most Of the facts are negative ana only the eAcep-
tons positive
We thought much, but what 4 comfort to have
n full bloodcd Atlantic" philosopher break his leash
and 20 barking after herediy at the top OF his lungs
and how it will steady the swivel minded young
budding who sang in the play:
Mother was a Quaker Father rip
Brace up. child! You be whatever YOU like
ANYTHING from a darned stupid Stand Patteress 10
a Cow Moose
Many cheerful noises have followed the marrying
Of fair Inez Milholand. and quite properly, but We
grieve little when hopes are 50 openly expressed
concerning the likelihood that she will calm
down as the prediction must be bitter hardship 10
Mayor GaYnor. Didn't he say marriage would
squech Sufragist? Nervous days he is in for,
waiting TO see how Mrs Inez turns out
Besides consider the shock to Mr. Inez. Dreadful,
the sense OF responsibility, with a nation looking
particularly the bride is warned In advance!
Success in these tender affairs requires more than
forttude, more than diplomacy. more than fnesse.
even 1t requires secrecy. And secrecy takes half
the sting out of izzle Not because think the
cases similar but Just to show that history is
our side with a vengeance we cite the dying words
Of Socrates: When man has failed in mighty
effort. IT is a whacking consolation to remember
that he didn't tell his wife he was going to try"
Personally. imagined Mrs. Inez was the
prancing steam roller the funny chaps said. yet
legends have a powerful influence on husbands. and
possibly II is lucky hers comes from Holland. We
wish him well and trust that he has his share OF
the courage without which genteman's cellar is
complete. H. j.. h