davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

Prof RObt. Michael Of Provence
who was in the city Thursday states
that the failure of the fruit crop viii
result in the planting of a much larg-
er melon crop this year. Several farm
ers in his community are doubling
their watermelon crop over last year.
He says also the report that there
would be a market provided for po.a-
toes has resulted in a greater acre
age of both Irish and sweet potatoes
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
Beautiful Amateur Work.

Stephen Noiand Of the Dorrsh jew .
elry company had downtown with him
beautiful water co!or painting ex-
ecuted by his ffteen-year old daugh-
ter, Miss Ford Barry. The painting
is reproduction of the famous study.
"Pharaoh's Horses and reflects great
credit on the skill and talent of the
young lady who executed It.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
COM MITTEE.
Woodmen Circle.

The Woodmen Circle will meet in
regular session in X. of p Hall to-
night at s o'clock. Refreshments will
be served. All members, especially
the members of the degree team, ur--
ed to be present; visitors welcome.
SARAH NJ. HOLLAND,
GuardiaH.
BIRD SANDLIN, Clerk.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

The two new Ford cars to be given
away June by The Ardmoreite are
here, candidates. See them; next get
busy and win them. II
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

For rheumatism you will find no.
thing better than Chamberlain's Lin
iment. Try it and see how quickly
it gives relief. For sale by all deal
ers.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

County Clerk b. w. Duke was TAX o.
en- i'll while at his office in thu cour-
ty court house this morning.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

Chief Of Police d. Z. Booker is
suffering with a slight indispositicn.
although able to attend to the dis
charge of the duties of his off.ce.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
Broadway Methodist.

Sunday School 9:45. Junior League
3 p. m.
Senior League Z p. m.
Public worship IL a. m. and
j. m with sermons by the pastor.
Come worship with us.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
East Presbyterian Church.

East Presbyterian Church.
Sunday School at 9:45. II. T. Hunt,
superintendent.
Preaching IL a. m, "Keynotes TO
Old and New Testaments."
Preaching s p. NJ, ''How May
Know ] am a Christian"
S. A. MCPHERSON, Pastor.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
Among the Sick.

Mrs. Gene Cook is reported quite
sick at her residence on Second ave
nue., northwest.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

G. r. West is reported i'll at his
home on West Main. street.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
u Il II Il u u Il Il = :: ~ - ~ -

4 :. u = 4 = u q :. =: u :. II {.
The district court being up with
the docket of cases set for trial re-
cessed at nine O'Clock this morrSng
until nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
In the district court yesterday after
noon in the matter OF Carter county
VS.. |. r. Mason. a jury returned 4
verdict for the plaintiff in the sum
of $6S6.O5.
District Agricultural Agent Graham
left this morning on a trip through
Carter county in the interest of his
department. Mr.. Graham will visit
Berwyn, Springer, Glenn, Woodford
and other towns in the county on
this trip.
Tired out with warning the motor
cyclists about speeding, Chief Of Po-
lice Booker and his men came down
on the bunch last night like the wolf
on the fold Several of the boys were
fined five dollars this morning and
made to promise never again.
John II. Snyder, who has been IN
Fort Worth a number of days on
baseball business returned to Ard
more yesterday afternoon. He says
the Sunday school population of the
Texas city is increasing rapidly.
y. c. Dings, in company with some
oil men left here today for a visit to
the oil fields, Interest in this indus
try is growing and many oil people
are here each day
DR.. J. II. Hargrave has purchased
from Mrs. Martin, who resides in Ok
lahoma City, home located at the
corner of b and Sixth northwest, nCw
occupied by Mr.. and Mrs. II. J. Sny-
der. DIR. Hargrave purchased the
property for a home.
The commercial club held a meet
ing last night. 1t was the regular
monthly meeting night, but owing to
the absence of both the president
and vice president of the club all bus
mess matters were discussed informal.
ly and laid over until Monday night
of next week, at which time they viii
be taken up at an adjourned meet
ing.
i. c. Hall of Westforl, Vt, who
has been on a trip to the Pacific
coast, has spent several days here
the guest of his old New Eng!ari
friend, DR.. G.. f.. Goodwin. Mr. Hall
spent the winter on the coast and is
en- route to his home. He is in Fort
Worth today but will return here
and visit the Carter county oil fields
before returning home,
A number of farm wagons were
here yesterday and were loaded with
lumber to be hauled to WIoodford.
The lumber came from the Hudson
Houston Lumber company's yards and
Twill be used in building derricks
for the ne oil machinery that will
sink test wells on the former Joe Will
liford property, which now be'ongs to
the Mid Continent Mineral corpora
tion.
A citizen of Oklahoma City in talk
ing over long distance with an Ard
more man said TODAY that Oklahoma
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

A citizen of Oklahoma City in talk
ing over long distance with an Ard
more man said today that Oklahoma
City was watching the progress of
oil development here and if the ex-
citement grew much stronger that he
thought the stores would be closed
and the business men would take a
day OFF to see the gushers west Of
Ardmore.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
Catholic Church.

Holy mass will be read at tea
o'clock Sunday morning, followed by
Sunday School. Sermon during mass
Everybody welcome.
Fr. JAMES ]. WALLRAPP.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
SLEEP BROKE Chill
Inc NeNEckS BEFORE SHOOT
rIERSELF.

Elgn, ILL.,, April 19.-NIrs Maud
Sleep, wife of farmer broke the
neoks of her two babies, lowered
their bodies and herself into a dry.
cistern and then shot herself TO
death They had been missing for
four days when found The woman's
mind was affected
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
Church of Christ.

Church of Christ.
r. H. Howard, an evangelist Of
Huckaby, Texas, will fill the pulpit
at the Church of Christ Sunday morn
ing and night.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18
,etter.

u II Il .ma am.r that m DHg' he lTnchsG Tn1 sd
and brother
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

= = = q u q u u :: :; {; = :, :,
: STORIES OF THE STREET. y
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

New Orleans, La, April is. :: -
The weather forecast for 'e
Oklahoma for tonight and Sdn SUI
urday is fair.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

Dr. J. II. Hargrave has purchased
from Mrs. Martin, who resides in Ok
lahoma City, a home located at the
corner of and Sixth northwest, ncw
occupied by Mr. and Mrs. H. J. Sny-
der. DR. Hargrave purchased the
property for a home.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

u :; :: q q 3; 3: :. 3: :; :: 3; . 8: q :,
{: WITH THE CHURCHES. {:
{; - q q q q g q Z: . q q u (;
Catholic Church,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

The district court being up with
the docket of cases set for trial re-
cessed at nine o'clock this morrSng
until nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

District Agricultural Agent Graham
left this morning on a trip through
Carter county in the interest of his
department. Mr.. Graham will visit
Berwyn, Springer, Glenn, Woodford
and other towns in the county on
this trip.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

In the district court yesterday after.
noon in the matter Of Carter county
VS.. |. r. Mason a jury returned 4
verdict for the plaintiff in the sum
of $6S6O5.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

Tired out with warning the motor
cyclists about speeding, Chief Of Po-
lice Booker and his men came down
on the bunch last night like the wolf
on the fold. Several of the boys were
fined five dollars this morning and
made to promise never again.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-18

p. c. Dings, in company with some
oil men left here today for visit to
the oil fields. Interest in this indus
try is growing and many oil people
are here each day.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

by ostrich feathers bit off the tops of
at least fifteen hats that were from time
thrust in my face by that writing
mass of feminine loneliness. How
many aigrettes l inhaled, and the num-
Der of artificial roses swallowed, in
my efforts to breathe and bite my way
to freedom l shall never know, but /
can tell you right now, / never want
to eat another aigrette so long as l
shall live, and wouldn't swallow one
more canvas-backed tea-rose if / was
starving. At one time ! counted eight
ladies standing on my feet instead of
on their own; and while l lost all
eight buttons off my vest, and six from
various parts of my coat, when l got
home last night l found enough gilt
buttons, crocheted buttons, bone but
tons, filagree buttons, and other assert
ed feminine buttons inside my pockets
to fill an innovation trunk. And talk
about messages! / was rubbed this
way, and secured that way, and jack
planed the other way, until / began to
fear / was about to be erased alto
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

the enemy, but she fairly bristles as
well with unsupported weapons of Of
tense against which anything short OF
herd of elephants on stampede would
be powerless. Your modern Amazon
is an absolutely irrefragible, irresisti-
bic creature, and it makes me shudder
to think of what is going to happen
when this war of the sexes, now in its
infancy. really gets going, and we de-
fenseless men have nothing but few
regiments of artillery, and a division
or two of infantry and cavalary, stand
ing between US and an advancing col
umn of super-insulated shoppers, using
their handbags as clubs, their hatpins
glistening wickedly in the morning
light, as they tango onward to the
fray. When that day comes, frankly,
/ shall turn and run. l had my fore
taste of that coming warfare in my
pursuit of Christmas gifts yesterday
afternoon, and my motto henceforth
and forever is Never Againi'
Then / suppose we need none of Us
expect to be remembered by you this
Christmas" said the Doctor, "Alas, and
alasl l shall miss the generous bounty
which lead you last year to present
me with a cold waffle on Christmas
morn" +
"On the contrary, Doctor" said the
idiot. 'Profting from my experience of
yesterday l am going to start in on an
entirely new system of Christmas Civ
ing No more boughten articles for
me-my presents will be fashioned by
loving hands without thought of dross.
You and all the rest of my friends at
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

in his right mind who, with no CON-
pelling reasons save generosity to stir
him to do so, plunged into a maelstrom
of that Sc. 1t would be clear case
of either attempted suicide or mental
alteration. Of course, if / had been
dressed for it in suit of armor, and
had been armed with battle Ak, or a
long. sharp-pointed spear, it might
have looked like a case of highway
robbery; but no male human being in
his right mind is going to subject him.
self to the hazards to life, limb, eye,
ear, and happiness, that l risked when
I entered that crowd for the sole pur-
pose of getting away unobserved with a
package of nickel-plated hair pins,
worth four cents and selling at seven,
and couple of hand-painted hy-swat-
tiers worth ten cents q gross"
The Landlady laughed a long, loud,
silvery laugh, with just little touch
of derision in it.
20 you men, you menu she ejacu-
lated. you call yourselves the stronger
sex, and plume yourselves on your su-
perior physical endurance, and yet
when It comes to a test where are
your"
Under the table, Madame, under the
table," sighed the Idiot Il for one
frankly admit the soft impeachment
Eyes," said the Landlady, 'but I'll
warrant you never found a woman I'M
der the table. We women, weak and
defenseless though we be, go through
that sort of thing day after day from
youth to age, and we never even think
of complaining, much less giving up the
fight the way you did. Once a woman
gets her eye on bargain, my dear Mr..
Idiot, and really wants it, it would take
hundred and fifty maelstroms such
as you have described to keep her from
getting it"
81 don't doubt it." SAID the Idiot,
but you see, my dear Mrs. Pedagog,"
he added, you women are brought up
to that sort of thing. You are trained
from infancy to tackle just such prob
lens while we poor men have no such
advantages. The only practice in do
mestic rough-housing that we men ever
get in Our youth is possibly a season on
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

gether. The back-breadth of my over
coat was worn completely through, and
the tails of my cutaway thereupon COM
ing to the surface were transformed
into a flowing fringe that made me
look like the walking advertisement OF
a tassell factory. My watchchain
caught upon the belt buckle of an
Amazon in front of me, and the last
l saw of it was trailing along behind
her over on the other side of that
whirling mass far beyond my reach.
My strength was oozing, and my breath
was coming in pants short enough to
be worn by bow-legged four-year-old
pickaninny, when, making a last final
herculean effort TO get myself out of
that surging eruption, l was suddenly
elected from it, like Jonah from the
jaws of the whale, but alas, Under the
Bargain Table Itself, instead of on the
outside, toward which l had fondly
hoped / was moving"
Great HeavensT said the Poet.
What an experience. And you had to
go through it all over again to escape
fnally?"
Not on your life" said the Idiot
I'D had enough. 1 just folded my
shredded overcoat up into a pillow, and
lay down and went to sleep there until
the time came to close the shop for the
night, when sneaked out, filled my
pockets full of soap, clothes pins, and
other nick-nacks, and left a dollar bill
on the floor to pay for them. They
didn't deserve the dollar, considering
the damage ! had sustained, but for the
sake of my poor but honest parents
felt that l ought to leave something in
the way of ready money behind me to
pay for the loot"
Its wonder you weren't arrested
for shop-lifting," said Mr.. Brief.
They couldn't have proved anything
on me-" said the Idiot, even if they
had thought of it / had perfectly
good defense, anyhow"
What was that" asked the Lawyer.
Temporary Insanity said the Idiot.
AFTER my experience yesterday after
noon am convinced that no jury in
the world would hold that a man was
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

grizzly bear and come out absolutely
undented. As l pass along the high
ways these days, and glance into the
shop windows, mine eyes are constant
ly confronted by all sorts of feminine
undertake., which in the days of our
grandmothers were regarded as strictly
confidential. 1 see steel-riveted con-
traptions, marked down from a dollar
ffty-seven to ninety-eight cents, which
have all the 1.-THE, lissom, grace of a
Helen of Troy, the which I am led
to infer the women of today purchase
and insert themselves into, gaining
thereby not only marvellous SYM
metry of figure hitherto unknown to
them, but that same security against
the buffetings of a rude outside world
as well, which a gilt-edged bond must
feel when it finds itself locked up be-
hind the armor-plated walls of a Safe
Deposit Company. Except that these
armorial under-garments are decorated
with baby-blue ribbons, and sporadic,
not to say spasmodic, doodads in flmy
laces and chiffon, they differ in no re-
spect from thos wonderful combina-
tons of stats, chest-protectors, and
liver pads, which our most accom-
plished football players wear at the
emergent moments of their intellectual
development at college. In point of
fact, without really knowing anything
about it venture the assertion that the
woman of today wearing this steel
lined chiffon figure, and armed with
seventy or eighty different kinds of
pins from plain hat to safety, which
protrude from various unexpected parts
of her anatomy at the psychological
moment, plus the devastating supply of
buttons always available for moments
of aggressive action, is the most pow
erfully and efficiently developed engine
of war the world has yet produced.
She is not only protected by her un-
yielding figure from the onslaughts Of
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

movements right and left, and diagon-
ally athwart every available inch OF
superficial area elsewhere, aided and
abetted by silver and steel-beaded hand
bags and feather-weight umbrellas for
purposes of assault. l tell you every
blessed damozel Of the lot was a walk
ing arsenal of destruction. All one OF
those women had to do was to whizz
around three times like dervish, poke
her head either to the right or to the
left and gain three yards, while ]
might twist around like a pinwheel, or
an electric fan, and get nothing for my
pains save skewered nose, or a poke
in the back that suggested the pres
ence of member of the Black Hand
Society. In addition to all this l fear
l have sustained internal injuries OF
serious import. My teeth are intact.
save for two feathers that are so deep
ly imbedded at the back of my wisdom
tSSii tiidt L lCdi Sndl nave 10 HAVE
them pulled, but every time / breathe
one of my ribs behaves as if in some
way it had got itself tangled up with
my left shoulder blade. Why, the
pressure upon me at one time was so
great that began to feel like rose
bud placed inside the family Bible by
an old maid whose lover was evapo-
rated, to be pressed and preserved
there until his return. This little pan
cake that is about to fulfill its destiny
as messenger from cold and heartIess
outside world to my inner-man, is a
rotund, bulgent, balloon-shaped bit of
puffed-up convex protuberance Z COM
pared to the way I felt after that whirl
of femininity had put me through the
clothes wringer. l was as fiat as a
joke of Caesars after its four thou
sandth semi-annual appearance in Lon
don Punch, and in respect to thickness
I was pressed so thin that you could
have rolled me around your umbrella,
and still been able to get the cover on"
you never were very deep. you
know suggested the Bibliomaniac.
whence the wonder of it grows"
said the Idiot. Normally l am fathom-
less compared to the thin, wafer-like
quality of my importantly as l flick
cred to the floor after that dreadful
pressure was removed"
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14

failed to notice the maelstrom of hui
rcanity that was whirling about it-or
perhaps l would better say the fe-
naelstrom of humanity that was eddy
ing about its boundaries, for it was
made up wholly of women, as 1 dis
covered to my sorrow a moment later
when, caught in the swirl, was tossed
TO and fro, whirled, pirouetted, re-
voIved, twisted, turned, and generally
whizzed about, like a cork on the Sur-
face of the Niagara whirlpool What
with the women trying to get to the
table, and the women trying to get
away from the table, and the women
trying to get around the table, haven't
seen anything to beat it since the day
/ started to take stroll one afternoon
out in Kansas, and was picked up by a
cyclone and landed down by the Alamo
in San Antonio ten minutes later
you ought 20 have known better
than to try to get through such a crowd
as that these days." said the Doctor.
"How are your ribs"
Know better?" retorted the Idiot.
How was l to know any better?
There the thing was ready to do bust
ness, and nothing but lot of tired
looking women about it. 1t looked easy
enough, but after 1 had managed to
get in as far as .he second layer from
the outside l discovered that it wasn't;
and then / struggled to get out, but
you might as well struggle to get away
from the tentacles of an octopus as to
try to get out of place like that with
out knowing how. l was caught just
as surely as a fox with his foot in
trap, and the harder struggled to get
out the nearer / was carried in toward
the table itself 1t required all my
strategy to navigate my face away from
the multitude of hatpins that surged
about me on all sides. Twice / thought
my nose was going to be served en-
brochette. Thrice did the penetrating
points of those deadly pins pierce my
coat and puncture the face of my
watch. Three cigars / carried in my
vest pocket were shredded into pipe
tobacco, and l give You my word that
to keep from being smothered to death
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14
tCoyrigdt. :9I5.l

the football team, or in those pleasing
little games of childhood like snap
the-whip, and mumbledypeg where we
have to dig pegs out of the ground
with our noses. Later in life, perhaps
there will come a war TO teach US how
to assault an entrenched enemy, and
occasionally perhaps around election
time, we may find ourselves mixed up
in some kind of a free fight on the
streets, but all of these things are as
child's play compared to an assault upon
bargain table by one who has never
practiced the necessary maneuvers. To
begin with we are absolutely IN
armed"
"Unarmed?" echoed the Landlady
What would you carry, gatling
gum"
"Well, l never thought of that said
the Idiot, but if I ever tackle the
proposition again, which, believe me, is
very doubtful, I'll bear the suggestion
in mind. 1t sounds good. If I'd had
an old-fashioned mitrailleuse along with
me yesterday afternoon / might have
stood a better chance"
20 you know perfectly well what /
mean" said Mrs. Pedagog. ~You i'm
piled that women are armed when they
go shopping, while men are not"
well, aren't they?' asked the Idiot
Every blessed daughter of Eve in that
melee yesterday was armed, one might
almost say, to the teeth. There wasn't
one in the whole ninety-seven thousand
of them that didn't have at least two
hat pins thrust through the middle of
her head with their sharp-pointed ends
sticking out an inch and half beyond
her dear little ears; and every time a
head was turned in any direction blood
was shed automatically. All l had was
the stiff rim of my derby hat, and even
that fell off inside of three minutes,
and haven't seen hide nor hair of It
since. Then what the hat pins failed
to move out of their path other pins
variously and strategically placed would
tackle; and as for auxiliary weapons,
what with sharp-edged jet and metal
buttons sprouting from one end of the
feminine form to the other, up the
front, down the back, across the Shout
ders, along the hips, executing flank
The Washington herald., 1913-12-14
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
IS ALMOST FATAL

How about women getting crushed p
demanded the Landlady, defantly. IF
poor miserable little wisp of a woman
can go through that sort of thing !
don't see why a big, brawny man like
you can't
Because, as l have already said
said the Idiot, 81 wasn't dressed for it
My clothes aren't divided up into air
tight compartments, rendering, me prac-
tically unsuitable within, nor have !
any steel-constructed garments cover
ing my manly form to resist the pres
sure"
"And have women" asked Mrs. Ped
agog.
The Idiot blushed.
How should know, my dear Mrs.
Pedagogy replied the Idiot. I'm no
authority on the subtle mysteries of
feminine raiment, but from what
see in the shop windows. and in the
advertising pages of the magazines, 1
should say that the modern woman
could go through a courtship with a