davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

On a rainy Sunday morning
the country pastor on his way to
church, thinking to protect his
trousers from the wet, had turn
ed them up at the bottom. Upon
reaching the church he forgot all
about his trousers. His good
wife, from her pew, discovered
his oversight, and when the plate
was passed she dropped a note
to the pastor. Thinking the note
was a church notice of some kind,
he placed it with the restImagine
the CONSERVATION of MS wife and
the congregation when the pas
tor read; Henry, turn down
your pants!'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Chloride of Sodium.

In connection with the name salt a
curious fact Is to be noted Salt was
formerly regarded as compound re-
sulting from the union OF hydrochlOric
Tor, as 1t used to he called. muriatic
acid and soda, and hence the generic
term of salt WAS applied to all sub
stances produced, by the combination
of base with an acid Sir Humphr!
Davy. however. showed that during
their action on each other both the
acid and the alkali underwent decom
position and that. while water Is form
ed by the union Of the oxygen of the
alkali and the hydrogen Of the acid
the sodium OF the former combines
with the chlorine Of the latter to form
chloride of sodium. and this term l.
the scientific designation OF salt. which
paradoxicai as II may seem. IL not
salt. At one time nearly the whole OF
the salt used ns food and for industrial.
purposes was obtained from the sea
and in many countries where the ell
mate Ia dry and warm and which have
convenient Spahoard great quantity
of salt Is still obtained
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Couldn't Call IL Stealing.

Whether you believe or don't be-
lieve in thu tariff. you II admit that we
have fewer multimillionaires n we'd
never had high protection"
The speaker. Representative Aber.
srombie. lighted cigar and resumed:
This sort Of thing reminds me. just
q little bit. OF Old Calhoun Clay.
Is this your first theft. Calr the
old mans mistress asked. after she
had caught him walking OF with a
bottle Of beer.
"'Yas'm.' Cal replied. 'yas'm. !
reckon dish-yere's NAH fust theft,
num-
Nov, Cal. be careful said the
mistress, smiling. for she liked the old
man well. Didn't you sometimes use
to take chicken from the "ole massa"
when yoa were young fellow down
south?'
why, yas'm, mebbe / did take jes'
one chicken Cal agreed. But dat
want no stealth, mum. Dat wux jes'
prop'ty takin' prop'ty to suppo't prop.
.y.'"-Washington Star.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
FACT STRANGER THAN FICTION
After This, NoveIists Need Not Be
Accused Of Unduly Stretching
Their Imagination.

Novelists accused of overwroking
the long arm Of coincidence might
keep for reference the following
strange piece Of fact. The bark Nomia
was posted as missing on December
II last She sailed from Newcastle
with a cargo Of coal for Chile on July
10. and sank in midocean when six
days out. At least. SO it appears from
the only scrap of evidence available
small, ragged bit of paper torn from
German log book, on which was
written, Monday, 16, 7, 1912-Nomia
is sinking fast by hurricane in AZ s.
$50 E. Colt save us all and every
body" This message, inclosed in &
bottle, was picked up recently on the
beach between Mangonul Bluff ana
SCOTS Point, New Zealand. But was
the manuscript genuine? Here the ex-
tensive limb above mentioned got il.
Its good work The message was given
to German Consul Carl Seegner of
Auckland, who had known a Captain
MINNIE, formerly of tha lark Germa-
mia. The Nomia's skipper was also
named MINNIE. Searching among his
papers, Consul Seegner unearthed a
letter written by the Germania's
MINNIE, and on comparing the letter
with the message from the sea he
found the writings identical. Here was
evidence enough that the Germania's
MINNIE was also the Nomia's MINNIE,
and that the message wasn't a fake.
Seeing that Consul Seegner was the
only man in New Zealand-perhaps in
MISUNDERSTANDING to be able to settle
the question, the arm which piloted
that wandering bottle right to his door
had, as before mentioned, useful
hand at the end of 1t.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
HURRIED AWAY BEFORE THAW
Traveller Left While the Conversation.
al Nuisance Was $50 Cold He
Could Hardly Talk.

in a country town in the English
Midlands there is a man who is so
noted for his conversational abilities
that his acquaintance avoid giving
him unnecessary opportunities to talk.
One cold morning this man rode up
to hotel in the neighborhod just as
the guests were finishing breakfast.
He dismounted, walked in, saluted the
landlord in his usual loud tones, and
declared that he was so cold that he
could hardly talk
Just then a nervous traveller, who
was present, stepped up to tie land
lord and, taking him by the coat.
said:
'Mr. l., have my bill brought az
soon as possible"
What is the matter. my dear sir?'
inquired the anxious landlord. Has
anything happened?"
Nothing, nothing. Only want to
get away from here before that man
thaws,"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
The Political Cabinet.

George L. Is said to have been re
spOnsible for the word cabinet" as IL
has long applied to politics III til,
United States When he was King NJ
could not take part IN the delibera
lions of hts own privy council because
he knew no English british states
men did not speak German so the
ministers who served this first of
the Uanoverian sovereignS of Great
Britain used to meet in the kings
private room or cabinet derived frun,
the French rahine or little room
while be WAS absent Afterward they
informed MIN OF the result OF their dis
cussions. II followed naturally that
the part OF the privy council which
was supposed to he In particular favor
with the king and especially close to
him came to be spoken of as his cabi
net council
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
GIVE UP WORK GRADUALLY
Man Accustomed to Regular Duties
Makes Mistake When He Sud-
denly Ceases All Labor.

Many business men at the age of
fifty or fifty-five work eight hours a
day and enjoy it. They will tell you
they feel as young as they did ten
years before.
Then some Of them conclude they
have enough of this worlds goods and
retire.
1t Is a well-known fact that brain
or muscle work forms in the system
poison, and If we keep ON working
condition which doctors call auto
intoxication is produced. Which
produced in our bodies has not been
enough to Offset the poison of our
burned up energy.
Rest and deep sleep are supposed
to clear the body of all poisons and
waste. But 1t has been proved il
the cases Of persons who use drugs
that after they have taken into theii
system a certain drug in increaset
amounts for some months they cal
stand an amount which would kill
dozen persons not accustomed to tho
drug.
From the minute the drug was il
their system nature started to WORT
to produce in that body an antitoxiT
to fight the poison they were taking
Nature gets many habits of her own
and she gets into the habit of expect
ing to form an antitoxin to battle
with that poison or drug which that
body has been taking daily, and she
produces 1t daily.
Now suddenly let that same bod,
stop taking into 1t the drug it was
used to; nature does not stop form
fng the antitoxin. No indeed; she goes
right on for weeks and months foam
ing the antitoxin she has been accus
toned to form, and the little fighting
army to fight and being of poison
Gus nature themselves, turn from lit
tie workers. when they have thei
own work to do, to bad workers, with
no work, land start fighting the gooC
cells Of the body, producing a self
poisoning which Is likely to cause
death.
If a man has been working daily
for years and the energy used up by
work has produced sort of poison,
Gus waste, enough to cause auto in
toxicating if not cleared out by rest
and sleep, would it not seem reason
able that nature had daily in that
mans system been forming an anti
toxin to Offset the poisonous waste
and that when he suddenly stops
work the same condition takes place
as with a person who takes poison?
The antitoxin cells, finding no poison
Gus waste to work on, turn and work
on the good cells of the body, causing
auto intoxication and sickness and
many times death.
1t would seem that a man giving
up work should do so gradually.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Writers of Historic SONGS.

Most of the songs that have made
history were written by men who had
no other claim to Immortality. The
"Marseiliaise" is the only production
of Rouget de Isle which has sur.
viyed, and "The Wearing of the
Green" was the work of an anonymous
purveyor of ballads for the street
hawkers of Dublin. Max Schnecken-
burger, an obscure Swabian merchant,
who never published anything else.
composed in 1910 some verses of
which the burden was thus translated:
Dear Fatherfand no danger thine,
Firm stand thy sons 70 watch the Rhine"
Little was heard Of these until 80
years later, when the Franco-German
ar gave them an enormous vogue
they were then adopted as the nation
al anthem Of United Germany, and q
yearly pension Of 5000 marks was con-
ierred on the composer of the tune to
which they were set.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Our Mark.

I'VE cannos fail to make our mark in
passing this lifetime;
No man who ever lived has failed to
leave some mark behind;
1t may be he has shown his strength
when history marked strife-time,
1t may be he has been a man to little
children kind.
HE never scores cipher in this life
time he is living;
However good or bad he be, he's sure
to leave q II ace;
He follows out his chosen path, per-
haps hard-unforgiving;
Perhaps he leaves worthy mark that
time cannot erase.
His little deeds of good or bad be
sure some day will face him;
He's making now a record that the
future years will show
A record that may honor him, or one
that may disgrace him
Not only in Gods Promised Land,
but on this earth below"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Handmade Raotime,

"Of course" said the salesman. ANY
thing handmade is sure to be superior
to what Is made BY machinery"
"Not always" answered the musica.
person If you start up music box
It generally plays something In the
way of a standard composition But
when anybody sits down at the plan,
and turns out something By hand th,
chances are that 1t will be ragtlme."-
Washington Star.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
THE NEW GENERATION.

constitutional history of our
country we call the revolutionary
fathers. - They were at that
time not fathers at all but
they were young sages who plan
ned the revolution and beardlesS
colonies who won it. They pro
jected themselves two decades
into the 10Th century. The
SECOND was the Compromise gen.
GRAFTON where we find the giant
figures of Benton, Clay, Webster,
and Calhoun. Then followed
the War generation and "The
New generation is the Sons
OF veterans. The Young men
who crowd into the Congress,
who fill the professional chairs
at the great universities, WHO
rival the old practitioners at the
clinic and the bar, and the young
men who lead the Philippines all
suggest that THE older order
changeth- yielding place to new.
Mt. Everest is the highest
mountain in the world because of
the long lift of land from the
Indian ocean littoral to the CEN
ter of the continent. So this
new generation is the mightiest
because Of the long steps of pro-
gress by which we have climbed
to the SUBMITS where we dwell.
We stand upon the shoulders of
a mighty past: every past gen.
Grafton has forged some new
weapon or gathered some new
force for our use. The steam
eugine, the electric spark, the
publicity which comes through
the press, the opening up of ia
pan, the colonization of Africa,
all events happening within the
memory of men still living, meas
ure the initiative, the energy,
and the elevation of the present
day.
Just so surely as the block
letters which they put before the
deaf, blind and dumb Laura
Bridgman spelled out her name,
so these great events spell OPP
portunity and gauge our respo.-
sibility. The Democracies of the
all patterned after our
own, must be taught to secure
economic independence, our army
and navy must be put at the ser
vice of high ideals, and America
become big brother to the re-
publics of the world. Nations,
like individuals, seem at times
to grow stale, and lose initiative.
Imagine Italy refusing Tunis
offered by Bismark and then
twenty years later taking Tri-
poll. First, then, we must aid
the nation to keep a certain
glowing ardcr of spirit, rich
essence of hope and enthusiasm,
and supplement those qualities
by directness of aim and a So
berness of mood that will pre-
serve the purpose when expert.
cnce contradicts hope and things
turn out differently from what
we had intended. Having put
our national pillow into furrow
of policy or duty we must per-
suade the nation not to look
back. France has planned and
partially built two inter-ocean
canals; neither of them is in her
control now. To follow wise
policies with magnimity, patien.e
aud constancy will ultimately
win for the generation the en-
comium of bringing things to
pass.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

Put your savings in the Savings
Department of the Shenandoah Val
ley Loan and Trust Co., Woodstock,
Va. at 3 per cent compound interest.
Amounts Of s1.00 and upwards re-
ceivea. The only savings institu-
ton in the county for the acccmuls-
ton Of the small savings of laboring
men, women, and children.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
State of Ohio, city OF Toledo, ! 9
LUCAS County, -


Lucas County,
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that
he is senior partner OF the firm OF F.
j. Cheney s. Co., doing business in
City of Toledo, County and State
aforesaid, and that said firm will pay
the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS for each and every case OF
Catarrh that cannot be cured by the
use of HALLS CATARR CURE.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed
In my presence, this 9th day OF De-
cember, A. D. 1886.
(Seal) A. w. GLEASON,
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally and acts directly upon the
hood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. Send for testimonials, free.
Address F. ]. CHENEY B CO,
Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for con-
stipation. adv
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Cured of LIVER Complaint.

81 was suffering with liver COM
plant" says Iva Smith of Point
Blank, Texas, land decided to try a
25c box of Chamberlaiu's Tablets,
and am happy to say that am com
pletely cured and can recommend
them to every one." For sale by All
D ,alcrs. adv.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

els there really any art in convers
ingY
"Of course: always say small things
In big way and big things In small
way."-Minneapolis Journal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

o. L. Shettz & Co., having bought
out the livery business OF Frank Rush
and stocked up with good horses and
up to date rigs, are prepared to give
good service and prompt attention to
all calls. They solicit your patron
age. Come to see them on court day,
and be convinced that your horse will
be we'll cared for. o. L. Sheetz &
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

A man was being shown over
a trout farm.
All" he said, thoughtfully.
Providence knew what it was
doing when it made fishes voice
less"
How do you mean?' he was
asked.
Well, understand that fishes
lay millions of eggs EVERY year.
What if they cackled like hens
over every egg they laid?"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Closed Door.

Hans Won Buelow. the pianist. at one
time posted on his door q notice that
was quite in the London vein: Before
Noon. Not Receiving: Afternoon. Out
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
nature Faker.

"How's this?" demanded the judge.
"You have your husband arrested for
assault, and yet you refuse to testify
against him."
well, your honor" replied Mrs. Nc
Carly. whose heart had softened, Il
amt sure twas him done it"
But you stated positively he
punched you in the eye."
"Thrue for yc. Some one did punch
NE in TIL oiye, but amt sure who,
ur mo hook was turned at the tonne"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
SLIGHT Omission.

n thought you said be was q mar
Of meansY'
"Excuse me- / left OF the adjec
tive"
"What adject1veT
"'Limited Birmingham Age Her
aid.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

Johnnie rushed into the dining
room, his Voice lifted to a long
quavering wall. He was giving
a star exhibition of the art OF
separating himself from tears
and thrills.
What's the matter?" asked
mother.
Johnnie removed both fists
from his eyes and explained
mournfully;
Papa was out on the back
porch mailing down a plank and
he had big hammer, an awful
big hammer. Then he missed
the nail and hit his thumb"
Then what are you crying
about?' asked mother. why
didn't you laugh?'
Then Johnnie told the whole
story thus:
IT did"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

Invest you money IN the 4 per cent
Certificates of the Shen. Valley Loan
s. Trust Co., Woodstock, Va. Sc
curity unquestioned. Interest pay
able semi annually, and Certificates
redeemable any time after six months
70 short notice.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
p,.n+v A. Roon, A the ron.

Knicker-There's plenty Of r0om al
the top. Rocker-Yes. but your wife
let's you have only the bottom bureau
drawer-New York Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
To Persons Who Wish to Drive

Having enlarged my Livery by add
ing a number of riding and driving
rubber tire buggies, we are in posi-
ton to put out teams to order having
81 vehicles in all making q complete
livery equipment We know we can
please you.
nov-6-tf J. e. BEMIS, Propr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

WESTBOUND-from Woodstock.
No. I73-Mixed-Except Sunday
7:01 M. Local for Harrisonburg.
Arrive Harrisonburg 1915. Q. m.
No. 49-Dai'y-l:l0 p. m. Local
for Harrisonburg. Arrive Harrison
burg 2:55 p. m. Buffet Parlor Car.
No. 13-Except Sunday-7:29 p. m.
Limited for Harrisopburg, stopping
at Edinburg, Mt. Jackson, New Mar
ket and Broadway. Arrive Harrison
burg 900 p. m. Buffet Parlor Car.
No. III = Daily = 8:55 p. m.
Local for Harrisonburg. Arrive
Hsrrisonburg 1925 p. m.
EASTBOUND-from Woodstock.
No. 4 Except Sunday 800 4. m.
Limited for Alex andria and Washing
ton. Arrive Washington 1855 q. m.
Buffet Pa' Tor Car.
No. % -Dailv-4:26 p N. Local
for Aiexandria and v sshington
Arrive Washington 9:l5 y. m. Buffet
Farlor Car.
No 2l6 - Daily sos o. m.
l4oesi fr..m 2 rri~nnhurg to Stras-
.pr Al We I hn, s:45 H.
Ms. - nd IA c M.ns,-
sa tn N ~ and FIR m
Warrenton.
No IA connects al Manassas With
Main Linz. Fast Nail Frain No IL for
prlD cipal point South
Trains PIT and l3 in connection with
Main Line Train No 10 between
o. a Z. and Manassas affords good
service f., IN Richmond wa - & o.
Railwa, and Gurdonsville
E Fl CoAPMAN, Vice-Pre>ideut and
Gene, Il Manager.
5 H. HARDWICK. Passenger Traffic
Manager.
Il. F. CARY, General Passenger Agt.
l. S BROWN, General Agent. WASH
lngton, ID =.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

Mr.. Snibbles got out of bed
and slipped on his shoes.
This must STOP" he muttered
irritably to his wife. 'I'm GO
ing downstairs and teach that
young man to keep away from
my house in the future. -
'John!" cried his wife, Stop!
Don't 60"
But before she could say more
he had slipped out the door. She
heard him steal downstairs to
the drawing room; she heard
sounds Of struggle and of the
breaking of glass; she heard him
drag his adv rsary to the hall
aud kick him down the front
steps. Then when he returned
she flung herself upon him and
chung to him admiringly.
What's the matter?" he de-
manded.
Don't you know % she an
swered. That was a burglar!"
Great Scott!" he gasped, turn.
ing pale. why didn't you tell
me that before? l thought it was
Ethel sweetheart"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

A youngster had been to the
theater and on his return his
uncle asked him how he liked the
play.
Oh he replied, ''the play
was all right, but / didn't Sc
nearly all of it."
why, how did hat happen?
asked his uucle.
Because answered the
youugster, the roller must have
been broken for the window
blind fell down two or three
times
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
BUSINESS CARDS.

nR. W. E. SHAVER,
u GRADUATE OF VETERINARY
MAURERTOWN, VA.
Calls answered promptly. Phon
or write.
Jan. 27-6mo. pd.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Wedding Stationary.

High class wedding Invitations and
announcements. also engraved visit
ing cards made by the we'll known en-
gravers Harcourt and Compsny OF
louisville. Ky. Orders taken at the
taken ut the Herald Office.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

A little In ones own pocket b better
than much in another mans purse
Cervantes
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

Men are so unreasonable
How now
MY husband always expects
to know where he left his old
pipe. Do / eyer ask him where
! put my powder puff"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
SHENANDOAH nEeelD

ADVERTISING RATE
Advertisements will be inEsrFs
at One Dollar per square OF bn
ines or less, for the frat insernon
;and e0.centstor each suhseque'
insertion.
SQuarterly or yearly adve''
tisements by contract.
~Unless the number OF inser
tons il marked upon the MANI
script, advertisements WILDE pub
lished until forbidden and charged
accordingly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Fish That Climb up Ocean Trees

A remarkably interesting spe-
cies of the fish family that can
climb up a tree, and which is
known as the climbing perch,
has been brought t ON India and
placed on exhibition in the
American Museum of Natural
History, The fish is able to
climb water grasses and trees
under water by means Of its tail,
upon which it stands erect and
grasps the tree branches with
the strong fins on it's stomach.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
kerCheval's History of the
Valley.

A few copies of Kercheval's History
of the Valley for sale ct the HERALD
Office. Price $500.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12

For the first time in my life /
really enjoyed speech on the
tariff
How was that?
Maybe it was because itcame
after the yodlers. 49,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
SOUTHERN RAILWAY.

Premier Carrier Of the South.
Schedule between Washington, Alex
andria, Woodstock and Harrisonburg.
In Effect May %. 1918.
N B.-Following schedule figures
published only as Information and
are not guaranteed.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1913-12-12
Woodstock
Marble Works

WOODSTOCK, VA.
Monuments, Tombs and all kinds
q Cemetery Work.
Lowest prices In the Valley. Give
~ : mi. 4. q. SNYDER