davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
The Knocker

After God had finished the rat tlesnake, the toad and the yam pire, he had some awful substance left with which he made knocker. A knocker is two legged animal with a corkscrew soul, a water sogged brain and a combination backbone made of jelly and glue. Where other people have their hearts he carries tumor of rotten principles. When the knocker comes down the street, honest men turn their backs, the angels in heaven take refuge behind their harps and the devi! barlocks the gates of hell. Missouri Bruns- wicker.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Staked Out
waiter.

To make sure the youngster was not disobeying the bass fishing law, the game warden took his string of fish out of the water and found only catfish, perch, and suck CTS on the line. A few feet further down the stream he found a large black bass wiggling on a string weighed down with a stone and asked the boy what he was doing with the fish.
 Well, you see," answered the boy, he's been taking my bait all morning and so 1 just tied him there until l got through hshing.'
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Railroad Eating House Lingo

Eating house vernacular is al- ways amusing, but especially so is 1t along railroad system where the trainmen, yardmen and other employees bring in new expressions and instead of being mystified by the transformed order as it goes to the kitchen, put one over on the waiter in singing the English.
 A timid looking little man took a seat at the counter of railroad eating house and ordered ham and eggs. He looked bewildered, says the Railroad Mans Magazine, when the waiter turned his face toward the kitchen and yelled voc- iferously:
 A mogul with two headlights!"
 A second later the little man said:
 Beg pardon, sir, but I'd like to have those eggs turned over.'
 Blanket the headlights!" yelled the waiter.
 An engineer next took his seat at the counter.
 Wheat cakes and coffee for mine,' he said.
 Running orders!" yelled the waiter briskly, and turned to con front the next one.
 "A beefsteak, well done," said the last arrival
 "A hot-box, and have it smok- ing!" was the information given to the cook.
 Some scrambled eggs, please" piped an old lady with trapidation.
 The waiter turned around and yelled.
 Wreck 'em on the main line."
 A boomer brakeman noisily set down his lamp and mounted one of the stools.
 Let's see yer switch list, he commanded.
 Gimme couple of battleships
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26

The Los Angeles Times Mid winter Edition-out January Ist, IoI4--will furnish an exhaustive authoritative and comprehensive History of the Great Southwest.
 The resources of this section agriculture, fruit raising, mining, manufacturing. and it's preeminent adaptability for desirable homes all presented in a concise, lumi- nous and intelligent manner, by writers and statisticians who are experts on the various subjects handled.
 The completion of the Panama Canal, and how it will bring the
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
 THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY
he Land of Aomes Its Resources and Possibilities Graphically De pcted in the Midwnter Edition of the Los Angeles Times

worlds commerce to our doors; the Los Angeles Harbor and its future great possibilities; the Owens River Aqueduct--furnish- ing water sufficient for a city of Four Millions of people.
 The Panama Pacific Exposition at San Francisco and the Panama California Exposition at San Diego to be held in IoI5-in fact com plete History of California of to- day and tomorrow.
 Midwiater Edition of the Los Angeles Times mailed to any ad- dress on receipt of IS cents. Ad- dress The Times, Los Angeles, California. Adv.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26

and a pan of Murphys on the main line and string of flats on the siding" he ordered.
 It was the walters turn to look mystihed.
 f Cut the cowcar off the lava train," continued the boomer, and switch me a couple of life preservers tor a consolidation, and as it's long drag to the next feed tank, you better fill the auxiliary to its full capacity"
 "Say," interrupted the biscuit shooter, "I've only been here a week; you left me behind at the first stop"
 Excuse me-" apologized the boomer. "I thought you were an old head. Gimme a couple of pork chops and some fried pota- toes and side order of wheat cakes. Then, for the second course, you can bring me a cup of black coffee and some doughnuts. Fill up the lunch bucket, too, be- cause it's long drag to the next hash factory. Put the coffee in the bottom and fill the upper deck with sandwiches and pie"
 I got you, Steve, replied the waiter.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Guarding Against Group

The best safeguard against croup is bottle of Foley's Honey and Tar Compound in the house. P. H. Giun, Middleton, Ga, writes: My children are very susceptible to croup, easily catch cold. l give them Foley's Honey aud Tar Compound and in every in- stance they get prompt relief and are soon cured. We keep it at home and prevent croup." Will Marian Phar- macy. Advertisement.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
The Bird and the Hyphen

A teacher in lower grade was instructing her pupils in the use of a hyphen. Among the ex- amples given by the children was bird cage".
 That's right" encouragingly remarked the teacher. Now, Paul, tell me why we put hyphen in a bird cage?"
 Its for the bird to sit on," was the startling rejoinder-Exchange.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Too Much

Two copy boys on the New York Evening World were having an acrimonious discussion one afternoon as they sat on their bench next to the city editor S desk.
 1 guess they never named any towns for you," said one.
 Maybe not" said the other; but there's a town up wonder in New England named for you all right"
 What town is that?" asked the first boy, falling into the trap.
 Marblehead", said the other.
 At this point the first blow was struck. Saturday Evening Post.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Not Tapping Winnepeg Society

The gentleman at the house said further that MT. Galbraith was a quiet and strictly sober young man, and for this reason he had become acquainted with but few people in Winnipeg Winnipeg Free Press.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
And Gosh How They Dread Il

Tuesday Frank Tisdell connec- ted up his bathroom in the barber shop, as the season is now ap- preaching for the taking of baths -Farum (Neb.) Echo.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Siamese Twins

On coming out of Dr. McNally's S office on Saturday last Bert Jones slipped and sat down on the same spot where l.. Henhing sat down a few days before. '-Bellwood (Neb.) Gazette.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
TRANSACTIONS AT THE
 COUNTY RECORDERS OFFICE

Location notice, Snowflake No. 4, Durham mining district, E. R. Neeper ct al. Lease, Irene Smith to Laura R. Anaya. Chattel mortgage, o. F. Beutke ct al to the Arizona Central Bank. Warranty deed, D. D. Smith ct ux to Harry Miner. Warranty deed, Albert M. Rousseau to Mary L. Rousseau. Bill of sale, Sam Thimis to Tim Thimis. Notice of water location, Ander- son Point Lake, o. L. Hart.
 Notice of water location, Ante lope Tank o. l.. Hart.
 Notice ofwater location, Third Tank, o. l.. Hart. Notice ot water location, Wal lace's Lake, o. L. Hart.
 Notice of water location, Ander- son Point Tank, o. l.. Hart.
 Mortgage with power of sale, C. H. Corey ct ux to Citizens Bank.
 Affidavit of labor, Gladys L., unnamed mining district T. F. Mahoney.
 AAidavit.of labor, Battery, un- named mining district, T. F. Mahoney.
 Order of adoption, in the matter of the adoption of Frank Mover, a minor.
 Bill of sale, T. F. Dunnuck to Lulu F. Dunnuck.
 Release of chattel mortgage, T. F. Dunnuck to R. P. Fenner.
 Water location notice, Upper Turkey Tank, Clark & Campbell.
 Water location notice, Lower Turkey Tank, Clark & Campbell.
 Water location notice, Corral Tank, Clark & Campbell. 
 Water location notice, Cosnino Tank, Clark & Campbell.
 Water location notice, Wildcat Tank, Clark & Campbell.
 Water location notice, Rice Tank, Clark & Campbell.
 Water location notice, Big Fill, George F. Campbell.
 Water location notice, N. Ea of Sec. 2S, T. 2IN, R. BE-, E. M. Clark.
 Notice of water appropriation, Indian Tank, Tom l.. Rees.
 Notice of water appropriation, Woodbridge or East Tank, Tom l.. Rees.
 Notice of water appropriation, Chances Tank, Tom L. Rees.
 Notice of water appropriation, Rees Tank, Tom l.. Rees.
 Notice of water appropriation, Patrick Spring, Tom L. Rees.
 Notice of water appropriation, Deadman's Tank, Tom L. Rees.
 Realty mortgage, Thomas J. Davis to Wm. D. Roden.
 Release of chattel mortgage, Fred Hensing to ]. D. Williams.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Quelque Cou

Mrs. Walter E. Gillett, Knapp Street, narrowly escaped serious injury when buggy in which she was riding passed directly over her neck. Grand Rapids News.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26


 Frank Golsary ct al.
 Bill of sale, Pedro Arrese tc Frank Golsarry ct al.
 Realty and chattel mortgage Frank Golsarry ct al to Pedro Arrese.
 Chattel mortgage, Manuel Sor rano to Fred Hensing.
 Lease, John w. Weatherford tc Costigan & Smith.
 Trustee deed, K. J. Kidd Trus' tee to Jose P. Trujillo.
 Warranty deed, w. C. Bayless ct ux to James l.. Daugherty.
 Location notice, Maston No. I Durham mining district, J. A. Maston ct al.
 Location notice, Maston No. g Durham mini ing district, ], A, Maston ct al.
 Location notice, Maston No. 5, Durham mining district, J. A. Maston ct al.
 Location notice, Maston No. 4, Durham mining district, J. A. Maston ct al.
 Location notice, Beaumont No. I, Durham mining district, D. E. Hemenway ct al.
 Location notice, Beaumont, No. ?, Durham mining district, D. E.. Hemenway ct al.
 Location notice, Beaumont No. 3, Durham mining district, D. E. Hemenway ct al.
 Location notice, Beaumont Mo-. 4, Durham mining district, D. E. Hemenway ct al.
 Location notice, Colorado No. I, Durham mining district, D. F. Law ct al.
 Location notice, Colorado No. ?, Durham mining district, D. F. Law ct al,
 Location notice, Colorado No. 5, Durham mining district, D. F. Law ct al.
 Location notice, Colorodo No. 4, Durham mining district, D. F. Law ct al.
 Location notice, Arizona No. I, Durham mining district, J, G. Johnson ct al.
 Location notice, Arizona No. 2, Durham mining district, J. G. Johnson ct al.
 Location notice, Arizona No. 5, Durham mining district, J. G. JOnnSOn tt al.
 Location notice, Arizona No. 4, Durham mining district, J G. Johnson ct al,
 Location notice, Hub No, I, Durham mining district, D. J.. Finkles tein ct al.
 Location notice, Hub No. 2, Durham mining district, D. l.. Finklestein ct al.
 Location notice, Hub No. B, Durham mining district, D. J.. Finklestein ct al.
 Location notice, Hub No. A., Durham mining district, D. J.. Finklesteln ct al.
 Location notice, Snowflake No. I, Durham mining district, E.. K. Keeper ct al.
 Location notice, Snowflake No. 2, Durham mining district, E, R. Keeper ct al.
 Location notice, Snowflake No. 3, Durham mining district, E. R. Keeper ct al.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
It is to Laugh
 Little Sunlets from Here and There
We'll, Suppose he Did?

o. L. Smiley came home on Tuesday from a couple of days visit with Mrs. Howellin harness Peoria Star.
The Coconino sun., 1913-12-26
Speed

The Clam steamer Clam Sim clair left here today before yester- day evening. Statesman.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19
SAYS GOVERNMENT SHOULD
DEVELOP ALASKA TERRITORY

Washington, Dec. 19.-Spirited de-
bate in the house marked the begin
ming of consideration of the bill for
a government owned railawy in Alas
ka. Advocates of the measure de-
scribed at length the project to build
733 miles of railroad from the south
ern coast of Alaska to the rich coal
fields in the interior, while it's oppon-
ents argued that the cost would be
much greater than the territories
committee had estimated and that the
"game was not worth the candle"
The debate is to be resumed next
Wednesday, unless congress has ad-
journed for the Christmas holidays in
the meantime, and the Democrats in
charge Of the bill expect vote with
out delay.
Representative Houston of Tennes-
see, chairman of the territories COM
mittee, and Representative Lenroot of
Wisconsin led the fight for the meas
ure. Houston said a bond issue Of
$35,000,000 would meet the cost of
the undertaking. Representative Len
root declared Alaska's present rail-
roads were dominated by the socalled
Guggenheim interests.
Representative Madden of Illinois
declared that the committee had un-
derestimated the cost of constructing
a road and inquired if the bill did
not permit the government to buy the
Guggenheim-Morgan railway. Hous-
ton replied that the president would
be empowered to buy the road if he
found it advisable.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19

to such an extent that the reclamation
services at Yuma considers it neglig.
able quantity.
Mr.. De Rackin intimates that the
irrigation district, the people of the
valley, should acquire the present sys-
tenn. Everyone seems pretty well
agreed on that, but it is only step to
an ultimate All American Aqueduct
Consulting engineers, reclamation SER
vice officials, and others in a position
to know the situation, are all agreed
that if the silt be removed from the
Imperial canal and sluiced back into
the Colorado river, that the flood wat
ers will carry off this silt to the gulf
even if the ordinary waters of the
Colorado river are insufficient. The
Imperial Enterprise disagrees with
this point, and suggests that the silt
would create dam in the Colorado
river, and divert it across the govern
ment levees on the Arizona side.
There is no argument as far as
power is concerned, whether or not we
want the power which we are entitled
to in connection with our water sup
ply, nor it there anything in the re-
vised irrigation district act which
would prevent our developing all avail
able.
Anyone who looks into the past rec
ord of the Colorado river can decide
for himself without any difficulty
whether or not there is enough water
for the 100000 acres of East Mesa
land or not. Certainly there is. Is
there enough water for the Imperial
valley? Certainly there is, but there
seems to be great difficulty in getting
it on the land, especially the west side
lands.
Furthermore the amount of water
to enter the Colorado river by per-
collation. between Laguna and Hanlon's
would not supply much of a shortage
in Imperial valley because of the
small acreage involved.
The All American Aqueduct certain
ly is "just the thing" and although
the people of Imperial valley do not
know enough Of the water situation to
vote intelligently on the project at
present, the time will come when the
All American Aqueduct will be the So
luton of our water situation.
(Signed) A. A. ANDERSON.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19
Figures on Parcel
Post Economies
(By United Press Associations


| Washington, Dec. 19.-Real cash,
the hard earned sort, will get Mr..
Common People, his wife and their
children this year through the opera
tions of one of Uncle Sans depart
ments. A brief comparison of what
it cost to send gift packages by ex-
press or mail last year with the rates
possible under the parcel post system
this year shows how the government
can aid when it is permitted to. In
no instance are the express rates re-
duced less than one-half and in many
the amount of reduction is far more
And the money which last year went
to the express companies this year
goes to the people themselves. Say,
for instance, that you live in Balti-
more and want to send four pounds
Of candy to some one in New York
as Christmas remembrance. Last
year it would have cost you, mailed, 1
cent an ounce. It would have cost
you GA cents to send four pounds by
mail. By express it would have cost
you for the same distance 40 cents
the expressage from Baltimore to
New York for anything weighing less
than five pounds. By expressing it,
then, you would have saved "a cents
last year. You want to send SIM
liar gift this year. The express rate
is the same as before-4O cents for
packages weighing up to five pounds.
You turn to the parcel post rates.
You find difference in rate, and it is
this difference that is going to save
you and every one else a lot of money
this Christmas, for you don't have to
pay Accent rate, as you did when
you expressed it last year. You pay
just 8 cents, just one-eighth of what
it cost you before to send the four
pounds, cents for the first pound
and cent pound for every addition
tal pound. What, is more, this year
you can send five pounds or fifty
pounds, whereas last year you couldn't
persuade any postmaster in the coun-
try to send package if it weighed
a fraction over four pounds.
To express four-pound box of
candy from st. Paul to New York
would cost rs cents more than to have
mailed it last year. Now. by mailing
the package, you save yourself just
38 cents, little more than half of
the express rate. Next year, thanks
to the sweeping reductions in parcel
post rates, the same package will cost
only 33 cents, saving of AZ cents
over the express rate. The new par
eel post rates will become effective
New Years day.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19
Meat % Years Old

Seattle, Dec. ia warrant was is
sued on complaint sworn to by the
county prosecutors office, for the ar
rest of Roy H. Cordray, local manager
and R. Friede, a salesman of the
Sulzberger & Sons company of Amer
lea, who are charged with selling
"filthy, decomposed and putrid animal
substances unfit for human food"
The defendants are alleged to have
sold a quantity of decayed. meat to a
market man last January. The labels
on certain lunch tongue seized indi-
Gated that it was at least % years
old, according to State Food Inspector
w. H. Adams.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19

only 21A per cent interest. The bank
in turn loans the money at interest
rates of from to 8 per cent. Banks
pay and per cent interest on saw
ings deposits, and could we'll afford
to pay 3 per cent on deposits as per-
manent as those of the postofffce.
The department is considering raising
the rate to be paid by banks to 3
per cent. By removing the limit of
deposits double quantity of deposits
can be handled by the present post
office force without increased office
expense. By these methods, therefore,
it is hoped to make the bank return
profit.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19
San Diego Hall Burned

San Diego, Dec. 19-The Salvation
Army hall and hotel on Third street
was destroyed by fire. Twenty-eight
men sleeping in the place escaped.
Commissioner Thomas Estill of the
army's building department at Chi
cago, who has been in Los Angeles
several days, arrived in San Diego
today to look over the wrecked struc-
ture. 1t was announced a week ago
that the national officers of the Sal
walton Army had practically decided to
erect new buildings on the site.
The fire is believed to have been of
incendiary origin.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19
WOMAN'S COLUMN

for the lover to offer his adored one
at the merrie Yuletide were flowers,
fruits, or bonbons, with perhaps a
book, lace mouchoir or box of
gloves if his ardor were intense. Now
he is expected to come through with
either cigarette case, a walking
stick or monocle. How times and
women have changed, indeed.
1t is safe to hazard, however, that
more of the tango slipper sets will
be presented this Christmas than any
other gift and the Christmas count
ers are ashine with them, ranging in
designs and materials from rhine
stones set in silveroid at SIS a set
to silver and gold and platinum
mountings incrusted with semipre-
cious or precious stones costing up
through two into three figures.
The strings of Chinese beads and
new jeweled hair combs and hairpins,
wrist watches and tiny enameled
boxes for the ubiquitous beauty patch
are among the new fashions in Christ
mas gifts, while for the mere male
marvellous walking stick which car
ries in it's slender insides the where
withal to turn itself into a three-leg-
ged picnic seat, quaint old monks
teapot and a monks hooded lamp of
dull metal that conceal bottles, flat
hexagon shaped and thin as
waters, are among the many novel
ties.
If you are clever with your fingers,
out of brocaded moire, dull galloon
and tube of library paste you can
fashion the most exquisite gifts with
bristol board or cardboard founda-
tions, such as desk blotters and book
racks, calendars and dainty books to
hang on the telephone and record Oft
needed telephone numbers, jewel and
sewing boxes, wastepaper baskets and
With touch of gold lace
and few of the dainty French flow
ers Of silk and ribbosine you will have
creditable rivals of the imported
French gold lace and brocade art work
that is as costly as it is beautiful.
For the kiddies there are new fash
ioned trains of steel cars that run by
electricity, wonderful miniature
yachts, and automobiles run by the
same power. There are also elegantly
outfitted Partisan dollikins that talk,
walk and sing, musical chairs that
trill you lay while you sit them
and, oh, everything that child hearts
could wish for, inventors and artists
devise and dad pay for-and lots that
he can't.
Imperial Valley press., 1913-12-19

New York, Dec. 19.-Speaking of
Christmas stockings, the showing for
the holidays is enough to turn head
masculine as well as feminine-and
often one good turn deserves another.
There seems to be regular under
standing that hosiery must live up to
the diaphanus texture of the rest Of
the toilette and this is certainly 60
ing some. Yea, verify, our Puritan
forefathers, could they but see the
gauzy, gaudy and gorgeous covering
on 1918 models, would dub them aptly
limbs of Satan. Such riots of en-
broidery and color, such ornate insets
of lace, were never seen before.
AS always the thin plain black
stocking is ever and everywhere in
the best Of taste, only nowadays its
thinness has positively reached the
last stages of emaciation. If you are
wearing the new cloth topped boots
your hosiery must carry out or rather
up the color theme of the cloth top,
be it taupe, tan, gray, or the more
distinctive shades that match up your
entire street costume. Of course, your
hosiery and slippers must match your
evening gown and the more elaborate
ly embroidered and the more brightly
dyed they are the more chic you are.
Only with smart gowns of black vel
vet or silk are black stockings and
slippers used for evening wear, and
even then the hosiery is richly inset
with medallions or strips Of fine lace.
There has been mighty effort on
foot to revive the plaid stocking Of
yesteryear, but in spite of the craze
for plaid touches in her frocks fair
woman has frowned on the Hoot Mon
hosiery as well as upon the freaky
laced stockings which, have met the
contempt they deserve.
The tango as we'll as the slit skirts
demand that much more care and at
tention as well as expense must be
expended upon the pedal extremities
today and tonight than ever before,
and apropos of the tango the laced
tango slipper or cothurn, which is the
last step in chic evening footgear, has
created new Christmas gift to tax
poor Percy's purse. For rhinestone
cothurn slides and buckles are among
the newest and most attractive holi-
day gifts for the swain to lay at his
lady's feet.
Time was when the correct gifts