davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
SAYS UNCLE CIV

| When we get right down to the seri-
| Gus business of keeping our bodies
| holy, We may pay no less attention tic
| morals, but We are certainly going tc
| put a good deal more emphasis upon
the Importance of providing fit dwell
| ing place for such souls as We each OF
US possess. From the beginning OF
| time, we have been SO busy with NOR
| ais that we have forgotten to give our
moral yearnings good ground in which
to thrive.
Nowadays we know that an aching
tooth is no encouragement to good
morals or good manners. The man
with the acknowledgements is more in
clined to inventF pesN seuss words than
to mediate upon his duty to his fell
lows. A few missing good grinders
will put the digestive organs out of
whack and make the devil chuckle
louder and longer than belated re-
turns from a political convention.
Bone pressure upon the brain will
make a saint into a human monster
and do it's fair share toward increas-
ing the batting average of the leader
of Mephistophelean League.
What we are inclined at first glance
to accept as pure, cussedness and the
outcropping of original sin, may be
only overworked nerves or a neglect
ed case of adenoidS.
No man was ever strictly good or a
hero who had a pair of lungs starv-
ing. e.
The man of impoverished blood may
be a saint, but he has not the energy
to make good on the job.
We are accustomed to say many
bitter things about physicians and
surgeons, and to lay great stress upon
the phrase "pra cticing- medicine but
the fact remain that about half of
the race would be a good deal better
off if made over by conscientious
toto
An imperfect physical makeup is
the root of all evil. He that neglects
to take advantage of modern science
to remedy the apparently incense
quential defects of his body is guilty
of suicide and should be buried with
out benefit of clergy.
No man need ruin his career nova
days by laboring along through life
with a set of bad teeth.
Few men are compelled to have bad
lungs, bad livers or bad blood. What
most of US need is to be awakened to
the possibilities of physical regenera-
ton which are within the reach of
80 per cent. of the people of civilized
nations
Most sick men are committing sui
eide.
Hundreds of thousands of parents
who neglect the physical defects of
their children are guilty of murder.
Moreover. sin is more often pre-
coded by pain than it is followed by
suffering. The man with pair of
cross-eyes hasn't as good chance to
be a valuable citizen as the man who
can see straight. The same is true OF
the man with the barrel-stave legs.
Corns and bunions do more damage
to the moral standard of the COM
munity than lewd literature and sug-
gestive plays.
He that mortifies the flesh is pref
ty sure to mortify his morals.-(Copy-
righted. 1913. by w. E, Williams0
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
Discovering America by Motor.

There were three cars, one of them
laden with a camping outfit remaI k
ably ingenious and cOG1piaCe. In the
others were the host, his family, and
several friends. They were people of
wealth, for only such can travel with
a flock of $4,000 cars and three chauf-
feurs and. what was much more in
teresting. they were admirably sensi-
BILE. They We're homeward bound from
a month in the woods and byroads of
Maine away from the beaten routes of
the motoring guide books.
Delighted to tell you all about ii,
affably cried the gentleman in COM
mand. I'VE are never in a hurry.
That is half the charm of it. None of
the miserable scurrying about as if the
devil were at your heels. Fifty miles
a day is our limit. / use the maps of
the geological survey. They make
camping by motor easy and delightful.
Every road, lane, pond. hill, brook and
farm house is indicated. And there is
nothing pleasanter than jogging over
the grass grown dirt roads of the back
country that have not been spoiled by
heavy travel My dear sir. with these
maps one can pass a whole summer in
undiscovered New England regions.
The average motorist is afraid to leave
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
FLOOD PREVENTION.

A writer in the Philadelphia Record
has taken his pencil and settled for
all time the long talked of proposition
to stop floods by arresting and i'm
pounding them at their source. Here
are his figures and conclusions:
1T the present moment a volume of
water is passing Memphis at the rate
of 100000 cubic feet per second; and
this will continue for so days. The
months total will be 1861, 500, 900 900
cubic feet, and to hold only half of
this there would be required 1O7 res
erVolrs, each of an area of 100 square
miles of an average depth of 10 feet.
The Roosevelt dam in Arizona holds
only a fraction of what one of these
reservoirs would hold: and it cost ss,-
OOO,OOO. The cost of such a scheme
would be prohibitive and, moreover,
the rainfall which produces the Mis-
sissippi floods is nearly always below
any possible reservoir site. Where does
anybody propose to locate the catch
basins for the rains that recently fell
in Indiana and Ohio?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.l

All women who pose are not models
Politics is a good game, but a mighty
poor business
Many successful man makes a noise
like big wind.
No day is long enough to waste any of
it nursing a crouch.
Some spinsters are SO tinid that they
would jump at proposal
It's better to deliver the goods than 70
be caught with them you.
A drunken man will tell you everything
he knows-but what's the use?
And some men talk to themselves be-
cause they like an appreciative audience.
In accord with the eternal fitness of
things. a man who stole watch wound
up in Jail
lie world admires any man who at
tends to his own business-no matter how
humble it may be.
The old fashioned mother and her slip
per have qualified many man for the
presidential chair-even if he didn't land
Women who spend most of their time
trying to improve their compilations never
think of the old fashioned method of
steaming it over a washtub.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
HUMOR OF THE DIP

Il had a talk with pessmistic friend
any one so completely soured on the
world. He told me he doubted human
honesty-that he didn't believe in the
faith of man. nor the constancy of wom-
Life to him was all graft and grab
and greed. He was very bitter Your
friend must have had a lot OF hard ex-
periences. How old is hep Nineteen"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-"Grace spends an awful lot of
money" He-"Not a saving grace, then
Boston Transcript.
Did the play have a happy ending2"
Comparatively so. All money was re-
funded after the second act."-Louisville
Courier-JournaI.
The folks hope to make enough out of
the farm this year" says a Georgia
c-.ange, Ito pay the old mans office
seeking hotel expenses in Washington.'-
Atlanta Constitution.
Truth" said the ready made philosO-
pher, lis stranger than fiction" Yes,
replied the man with a bunch of picture
cover magazines, land so much cheaperG'
Washington Star.
Mrs. Housewifey-'I never had a Iaun-
dress who could do up white dresses as
nicely as your wife does" Rastus (grin-
ming admirably-"Ya'as IN. Mandy's 4
right handy 'ooman. She kin do me I'D
ies' as easy as one O. dem air dresses."-
Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
Her Last Chance.

You can't deny it, he said sternly.
Penelope, you've been chewing gum
again.
Desperately, frantically, she sobbed
on his chest.
Firmly lifting her off the chest and
depositing her on the sofa, he dashed
the beads of agony off his brow. They
fell on the hardwood floor with a
metallic clatter.
II warned YOU" he continued, that
1 would break off our engagement II
1 caught you at it again A girl that
chevgs gum is not fit wife for a man.
A girl that chews gum would take in
a matinee with the butcher money.
Penelope, all is over between us"
With a final outburst of desperation
she was on his chest again, pleading,
begging, beseeching for the love OF
Mike.
lone more chance she cried, and
swear another drop of gum shall
never pass these lipsi"
so be it," he replied. "One more
chance
And reaching firmly for his hat he
departed, pausing on the doorstep only
long enough to. bite off fresh chew
of tobacco.-Detroit Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

the main highways. He is as blind as
bat.
81 plan the days journey by means
of the map. If the destination is not
attractive for camping, we can easily
move on few miles. My winter pas
time is devising new wrinkles of camp
equipment to carry in an automobile.
Our tents are pitched by a lake, and
Maine is fairly jeweled with them, or
in a bit of woodland, and we have yet
to find the slightest hardship or dis
comfort. Living expenses are alb
surdly small. The farmers sell US
milk and fresh stuff. We live like
kings. If you want to know the gen
uine JOY of motoring, try it. 1 preach
the gospel of camping by motor at the
top of my voice. The country needs
it. Get friend to join you with his
car next summer. Use one of them to
carry your duff1e. Buy some maps and
take to the woods" D. Paine
in "Scribners.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
IN THE HIGHLANDS.

IN THE HIGHLANDS.
In the highlands, in the country places,
Where the old plain men have rosy faces,
And the young fair maidenS
Quiet eyes;
Where essential silence chills and blesses,
And forever in the hill recesses
Her more lovely music
Broods and dies
Q, to mount again where erst 1 haunted
Where the old red hills are bird enchanted,
And the low green meadows
Bright with sward;
And when even dies. the million-tinted,
And the night has come, and planets
glinted
Lo, the valley hollow
Lamp-b estarr'di
o, to dream, o to awake and wander
There, and with delight to take and rem
der,
Through the trance of silence,
Quiet BREATH
Lo, for there, among the flowers and
grasses,
Only the mightier movement sounds and
passes;
Only winds and rivers,
Life and death.
Robert Louis Stevenson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
AYHAWKER JOTS

Winfield is nothing if not up to
date. A eugenics club has been or
gained in that town.
| Crawford county wants to sell its
| poor farm" The occupants are so
! few that it is cheaper to board them.
man in Clay Center owns six
| cylinder, seven passenger touring car,
and the Dispatch says it puts him in a
| class by himself.
Dora F. Miller of Independence has
| brought suit for a divorce from J. D.
Brown, says the Coffeyville Journal.
that.
Those who thought they had heard
the last of the woman who was for
merly mayor of Hunnewen are mis-
! taken. She is going onto the lecture
platform.
Lawrence business house and the town
is all torn up over the question wheth-
er or not men should take off their
mats when riding in it with ladies.
Lawrence artist, says the Journal
world, has been studying up on flu
tUr1Sts and cubists and has concluded
to paint a picture entitled walking
along on the top rail of a stake and
rider fence
People who have been housed up
more or less all winter are surprised
at the growth of the town in every di-
rection since they last had opportunity
to get out for their Sunday stroIls-
Lawrence Gazette. 1t grows while
they sleep.
Conner Davies is still harping on the
fact that when the doctor prescribed
alcohol for his sick boy, there was no
where in all Kansas that he could,
legally, get it Prohibition like the
rain falls on the just and the unjust
alike. 1t is a penalty the editor of
the Kansan must pay, because Bill
Jones gets drunk and beats his wife.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
According to Uncle Abner.

Our idee of havin' a good time is
to have a boil on the back of our
neck, the sciattick rheumatic and a
note du at the bank. and then be
obliged to set through three-hour
lecture on 1.-THE Philosophy of Hap
piness' by some preacher that has
stung US on a balk' horse a week or
two before.
You can't tell by the looks of a toad
how fur he can jump or an ackter,
either.
Next to a busted pair of suspenders,
fear is the greatest thing in the world
to make a Teller unhappy. Old Man
Hicks set around and expected to
have newmonia for seventy-one years
and then died of old age before hi
got his wish.
| have got more use for Teller that
yields to temptation once in a while
than 1 have for the Teller that oragS
that he never does. and the latter is a
liar.
1t is a long lane that has no auto
mobile garage.
William Tibbitts says he doesn't
believe in being stingy with the VIM
men folks. He gives his wife twenty
five cents every Saturday night TO buy
something extra for the Sunday din
ner-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Down at McComb City. Miss, an
arrangement has been made between
the school authorities and the Illinois
Central railroad, by which the boys of
the high school are allowed to work
every other day in the railroad shops
and attend school on the alternate
days. BY this means it is said that
at the end of the high school course
the boys have been enabled to pay
their expenses and are ready to earn
"A mans salary in case they do not
enter the university.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
FROM OTHER PENS

FASHION HAS A MORAL SIDE.
Mr.. Basil King of Cambridge, Mass,
makes a contribution to the current
discussion of pregailing feminine FASH
ions by remarking that the modes of
the day SAVIOR of the madhouse and
that a woman's clothing must more or
less influence her spiritual nature for
good or for evil accordingly at is APP
senses.
The sanity issue can take care Of
itself. Anyone with even limited pow
ers of observation can form a fairly
correct opinion as to the business or
the unjustnesS of Mr.. Kings censure
of styles on this point. And the OBJ
servation need not be long extended,
nor need many samples of evidence be
examined.
AS to the spiritual influence point
there may well be some careful think
ing. For if styles are to injuriously
affect the natures of budding women
they become matter of racial and NOR
al concern. But it is questionable
whether much thinking and converse
tional denunciation will be effective to
alter the situation. If it is to be al
tered it must be altered by women
themselves. And if they are to com
tinue to be the lure to higher and bet-
ter endeavor on the part of men they
will not be remiss in rectifying the OBJ
legations of fashion-surelly not-De-
troit Free Press.
THRUMS VS.. MONTMARTRE
It is a truism that all idols have
feet of clay. butw hen the discovery
is first made it constitutes a shock
James Mathew Barrie has been greatly
loved and greatly idolized, and mill
lions of readers have believed him to
be a shy and gentle creature of inno-
cence and unsophistication. When he
divorced his wife theworld gasped. but
still believed him the soft. shy, I'M
obstrusive Scotchman who was more
than Scotch.
Now the world is to have the shock
of establishment.
An item has been sent broadcast
over the world announcing that eight
thousand Englishmen spent Easter at
and that one group of
English authors foregathered at the
famous and notorious night restaurant
there which is said to be chiefly re-
sponsible for the fiction that Paris is
immoral. And one of the authors was
u. NJ. Barrie, who had his first ex-
perience in the Montmartre district"
Success as often spoils a man as
makes him, and that the Barrie of
Thrums should become the Barrie of
the Abbaye de Teleme is perhaps no
great surprise. But thousands will
wish that Barrie might have remained
in the popular mind the impish. i'm
plusive, idealistic child, half elf and
half woman. the fit companion of the
wonderful Peter.-St. Paul Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Montenegro somewhat resembles
the cat that nabs the canary and
| crawls under the porch The cat
could be chased from under the porch
by burning down the house, but it
would be of no special benefit to the
canary or the owner of the house.
Although. of course. it might teach
the cat a Lesson.
For, in the bright lexicon of cats or
Montenegro, there is no such word as
quit
Philadelphia has chosen the surest
method of prohibiting prize fights.
caught at it, they are barred from the
sleepy village. In the course of time
that will get all of them.
The school strike in f-f-fitz-burg
is said to be very popular with the
school children. Any school strike
would be popular with the children if
their parents posed as walking dele
gates.
After a hundred years of warfare
against the booze business, a congress-
man has at last hit upon a sure, sim
pie cure-tO stop the manufacture and
sale of the stuff in the whole country.
It's a wonder someone didn't think of
that before.
One might gather that Commission
er Porter, at the urgent invitation of
the taxpayers, has taken a few days
off to think, and has thought of a way
to handle Gene Stotts' job without an
assistant at $500 per. Sometimes a
hint or a mere request can do more
to agitate an officials thinker than
real harsh treatment.
Schedule K is usually cartooned as
a sheep, but it seems to be the goat
of the tariff disturbance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Four New York undermusIin manu-
facturers are to make an interesting
experiment. They are to send 10 of
their working girls to school on alter
nate weeks, the pay of the girls going
on even when they are not at their
work The scheme is announced as
business, not philanthropy. The rea-
soning is that a girl with some educa-
ton will be a more valuable employee,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

If Willis Moore had known in ad-
vance what President Wilson was go
ing to do with him, that Washington
weather on March 4 might have been
n different story.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

The New York dentist who was tied
in his own chair and robbed to the ex-
tent of $4,000 failed to identify the
robbers as former victims
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

The deposed Professor Moore is &C
cused of irregularities in the weather
bureau. When the brand of weather
he has turned out this season is con-
sidered it looks as though the charge
might be we'll founded.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

in dollars and cents, than the one
possessing only the technical know
ledge necessary to run a machine.
This plan may prove more satisfactory,
all around than a minimum wage law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Champ Clark did not make up with
Secretary Bryan until after he had
written the history of the Baltimore
convention into the congressional di-
rectory.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

An animal trainer has died of a
snake bite seven years old. But that
is no reason for postponing the appli-
cation of the antidote in other cases.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

AS far as that is concerned, President
Wilson might be willing to admit that
he was a "high-browed near states
man" in 1910
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

The Chinese have decided that theil
republic is to last at least 10000 years
So what do they care about immedi-
ate recognition?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Almost any mother would gladly lend
her neighbours baby to the domestic
science department for school girls to
practice on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
Full, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state journal is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the 1ull day
Telegraph report of that great news T-
wanizatfon for the exclusive afternoon
publica ton In Topeka
The news is received IN The state jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Carnegie has given another million
TO the Carnegie Technical Institute.
And most of us dislike to give up a
nickel for a score card.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

An Atlantic City woman has applied
for a divorce because her husband in
sists on moving every two weeks. Why
doesn't she pay the rent herself?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Another delicate hint President Will
son gave congress when he read his
message was his failure to ask leave
to extend his remarks" in the Con-
.yreSsional Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

Mayor Gaynor says American news
papers are clean. 1t is evident that
Mayor Gaynor has never tried to cover
a newspaper trick as exchange editor
and wear white shirt at one and the
same time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
by TIE WAY

Anent war with Japan: hath anyone
heard yet from Hobson? T. r. has
taken chips, and Hobson, the Original
tor OF japanese war scares, is still in
the brush
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

An immigrant upon landing in New
York. was found to have $4,000 in his
possession But that was before he
landed in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

a considerable number of men will
soon be engaged in the interesting
task of trying to figure their in
comes down TO S3,999.99.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25
ON TIE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
Dead Willing,
BY ROY K MOULTON.

I surely want my wife to vote;
Oh, yes, indeed 1 do.
Quite long enough I've been the goat
And that is very true.
When issues do not go Alright
She lays the blame on me;
For I'm responsible, yes, quite,
Because l vote, you see,
I'm simply waiting for the day,
Like lots of other men,
To see her first vote go astray
And hear what she'll say then.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

While putting raw stuff on the free
list why doesn't congress include the
vaudeville Jokes?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

DR.. Friedman may have received
some unkind buffets, but at least he
hasn't incurred Commander Peary's
displea sure.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

If anybody wants to make John Bull
real mad all he has to do is to send him
n picture of Mrs. Pankhurst and her
two daughters, posed as the three
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

President Wilson says he will not
attend any public meeting for a year
except the annual session of the Grid
iron club. After the club session he
probab bly, won't want to.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

The Tennessee legislators who ran
away to Kentucky to break the quorum
evidently knew where to run.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

After all, the true harbinger of spring
Is the circus poster.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-04-25

A witness recently called in a coun,
ty booze case has discovered that the
principal difference between beer anC
hop tea is ten days in Jail.