davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
AN OLD NURSE
Persuaded Doctor to Drink Postum.

An old faithful nurse and an exper-
fenced doctor, are pretty strong COM
bination in favor of Postum, instead
Of tea and coffee.
The doctor said:
81 began to drink Postum five years
ago on the advice of an old nurse.
During an unusually busy winter,
between coffee, tea and overwork, l
became a victim of insomnia. In
month after beginning Postum, in
place of tea and coffee, / could eat
ANYTHING and sleep as soundly as a
baby.
I'm three months l had gained twen-
ty pounds in weight. I now use Pos
tum altogether instead of tea and COT
fee; even at bedtime with soda
cracker or some other tasty biscuit.
Having a little tendency to Diabe-
ties, used a small quantity of sacchar-
inc instead of sugar, to sweeten with.
I may add that today tea or coffee are
never present in our house and very
many patients. on my advice, have
adopted Postum as their regular beV-
erage.
I'm conclusion 1 can assure anyone
that, as refreshing, nourishing and
nerve STRENGTHENING beverage, there is
nothing equal to Postum"
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Creek, Mich Write for booklet, The
Road to Wellville."
Postum comes in two forms.
Regular Unjust be boiled).
Instant Postum doesn't require boil
ing but is prepared instantly by STIR
ring a level teaspoonful in an ordinary
cup of hot water, which makes it right
for most persons.
A big cup requires more and some
people who like strong things put in
heaping spoonful and temper it with
large supply Of cream
Experiment until you know the
amount that pleases your palate ana
have 1t served that way in the future.
There's a Reason" for Postum.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
CRUST COVERED BOYS HEAD

Bolton, Ga-"My little boys head
was covered with hard thick crust
which cracked with the least pressure
causing a discharge Of bloody corrup-
ton which was SO offensive that
could hardly hold him. He was very
cross Some called it milk crust,
another running letter and another &C.
Zema.
After trying several patent medi-
cines l decided to try Cuticura Soap
and Ointment. After using the sample
1 purchased some Cuticura Soap and a
box of Cuticura Ointment. After u.s.
ing Cuticura Soap and Ointment three
days I was able to remove all the
crust and in one week he was entirely
cured. Cuticura Soap and Ointment
also cured my baby Of an liberated
sore behind her ear and now we think
we cannot keep house without them"
(Signed) Mrs. Charles Poss, Nov. s..
1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world Sample Of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston" ADV.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
He Meant Leonard.

Leonard W. Smith, plumbers sup.
ply dealer in Passaic, left home
Thursday evening, telling his wife hs
would be delayed returning. About
one o'clock yesterday morning man
entered the house. Mrs. Smith
thought it was her husband, but
when she got no answer to her call
she left her bed to investigate.
What are you doing here?" she
demanded.
ooh, go to sleep-rm Charley" was
the answer.
And then Charley" fed with SO
worth of silverware-New York
American.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Honor Man Struck by LIGHTNING.


To be struck by lightning is still a
most lucky thing for the Greek peas
ant-if he is not killed. Such a man,
says J. C. Lawson, may indulge a
taste for idleness for the rest of his
life-his neighbors will support him
and enjoy at the same time the rep
utation of being something more than
human" This is an Inheritance from
ancient days. Artemidorus, an au-
thority on occult matters who flourish
ed in the time of Marcus Aurelius.
commented on the fact that while a
place was struck by lightning had an
altar erected upon it, and was thence
forth both honored and avoided, mo
one who has been struck by light
ming is excluded from citizenship; in
deed, such a one is honored even as
a god" The election of Quintus Ju-
Illus Eburnus to the consulship in 116
B. C. is attributed to his having been
favored thus by the gods.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Misunderstood.

She was a plump widow, with two
charming daughters. She had been
q relic" just year, and was be-
ginning to wear her weeds" lightly.
All the same, when the new curate
called upon her she sighed:
"Ah! I feel the loss of my poor,
dear husband very much. I never
have any appetite for anything now"
The curate was all sympathy and,
in the endeavor to cheer her by point
ing out what a comfort to her her
daughter must be, replied:
Il can quite understand that, but
you are solaced in"
"S-i-r-r!" interrupted the indignant
lady. "Allow me to inform you that
l am not laced in at all"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Rural for Sure.

A party of Nashville motorists
turned q sharp curve in the Cumber-
land mountains and paused for look
at the scenery. Just below them, on a
jutting rock, a mountain boy of about
nineteen was looking dejectedly up
and down the road, evidently in search
of something. Say, lady," he asked
one of the party as the car started. els
you seen anything of COW down the
road named Crump?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
She Was Founded.

Violet Jennie was little girl who
originated in founding asylum.
A visitor who had a habit of visit
ing took a great fancy to V. j. This
visitor had a girl of her own whose
name was Frances, and permission
was asked for v. ]. to take tea with
Frances.
Frances was having birthday
that day. So Violet (for short) want
ed to be very nice, but she felt that
she had an advantage over Frances,
since not every girl can be an inmate
Of a founding hospital. Violet Jen-
nit tried not to patronize Frances,
but she could hardly help it.
"This is your birthday, isn't it?"
she said sweetly. 80 you were
born?"
"Why, of course. Everybody is
born"
I'm your set, L suppose. That's what
makes it SO common to be born.
wasn't, you know was founded!"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Constant Menace to Public Health.


The National Association for the
Study and Prevention of tuberculosis
estimates that there are over million
consumptives in the United States, of
whom probably at least one-third are
unable to provide for themselves the
necessary treatment at home. Most
of these cases are menace to the
health of their families and associates,
and should be in special hospitals. At
the present time, however, even If
every case were known, it would not
be possible to provide accommodations
for more than one in eight or ten. The
removal of these foci of infection de-
mands more and better hospital and
sanatorium provision.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
mHis Goose Is Cooked"

The expression, Ibis goose is cook
3D." appears in various forms, and
means that his cause is ruined. 1t
has some reference to the common
but erroneous opinion that goose is
synonymous with fool" The idea
has crept into more than one language
and will not down." 1t is generally
understood that cooking his goose" is
a phrase which originated when the
king of Sweden, on approaching hos
tile town, excited the contempt Of the
inhabitants by the smallness of his
army To express this they hung out
a goose for him to shoot at. whereup-
on the king set fire to the town to
cook their goose"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Fiohtina Pneumonia Plague.

Every precaution is being taken TO
wipe out the pnemonic plague which
is reported to have found its way into
Loimme, southern Shan States from
China. Unfortunately Loimme hap
mems to be the headquarters of over
five hundred officers and men of the
military police, but precautions are be-
ing taken and it seems as if the dis
ease has been wiped out-for the time
being, at any rate. The Shan States,
with the opening of the railway, will
probably become very much more i'm
portant from a commercial point of
view than they are now, and, as they
contain at least one desirable health
resort, it would be pity if plague
were to obtain a foothold there now
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Evidently Ready for Him.

A gentleman who had been in town
only three days, but who had been
paying attention to prominent belle.
wanted to propose, but was afraid he
would be thought too hasty. He deli
cately preached the subject as fol-
lows:
'If we're to speak to you of mar
rage, after having only made your
acquaintance three days ago. what
would you say to it,"
We'll, / should say never put on
till tomorrow that which you should
have done the day before yesterday"
Life.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Just Her Husband.

A woman mounted the step of car,
carrying an umbrella like a reversed
saber.
The conductor touched her lightly,
saying: Excuse me, madam, but you
are likely to put out the eye OF the
man behind you"
Hes my husband" she snapped.
with the tone of full Droprietorship.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Epiqrams on Youth.

Lillian Russell in toast on Youth
at luncheon in Pittsburgh scattered
epigrams like pearls.
"In the end" she said, Gin oul
struggle to keep young, we are all
alas! defeated. The scene of our de
feat is marked with white stone.
I'VE fight against time, but time
fights twenty-four hours a day.
More people fail in the attempt to
become centenarians than in any 9th
er business"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
AWeary.

"Sue," observed the old man, Il
trust you will ere long be able to
choose a life partner from among the
numerous young men who call upon
YOU"
why, papa" exclaimed Sue, whats
your hurry?"
Simply this-Im tired of keeping
my heavy shoes on till midnight"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
In the Natural History Glass

tn tne NATURAL FIIse0Ty VfdsS'
Now" asked the teacher, who can
tell me what an oyster is?"
Silence for a. moment, while small
brows were knit in strained effort at
remembrance. Then little Tommy's
facial muscles relaxed and eagerly he
raised his hand.
II know!" he triumphantly an
nounced. "An oyster is fish built
like a ut."-Everybody's Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Good Wishes From Home.

When Mr.. Brown was away from
home on an extended business trip,
he got long letter from his wife. 1t
ended thus:
Baby is we'll and lots brighter than
she used to be- Hoping you are the
same, I remain,
your loving wife.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Regular Attendant.

"Is your father regular attendant
at church,"
Eyes, he goes once year, whether
he thinks he needs it or not"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Such a Foolish Question.

my wife lost her purse with SIS in
it today" said sad-looking man.
while going to town or coming
homer" inquired a sympathizer.
Didn't say it had some money in
it," answered the sad-looking man,
and every one knew when she lost it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Willie-Paw, what is secret?
Paw-Anything two women do not
know, my son.-Cincinnati Enquirer
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Queer StruooIe.

There is one extremely odd thing
which happens often in summer"
What is it"
THAT there should be such hot
time over the price Of Ice"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
The Circle.

why do you play SO much bridget"
Because it's great training for the
mind"
What does it train the mind to do?"
ITO play more bridge."-New York
Press.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
nors yoIrR HrAn ACHE

Try Hicks CAPUDINE. It's 1iquid-pteae
ant to take-effects immediate-goodt TO prevens
Sick Headaches and Nervous Headaches also.
Your money back IL not satisfied. 10c., 10. -
Soc, at medicine stores. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Tiqht Fit

Look" twittered the new man,
isn't this just a lovely waistcoat?
l made it myself out Of one of her
old hobble skirts. Amt I saving?"
And the other new man gazed at the
garment in voluble admiration.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Exception.
"Nothinp ever

Nothing ever comes Of pipe
dreams"
ooh, yes, there does, If one strikes
oil"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Piscatorial Genius.

According to Click Foeckele, LIE
Roy man is trying to find some way
to cross the mosquito and the channel
catfish. He figures it will make the
fish a free biter.-Kansas City Jour
nal
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
The Tender Skin Of Children

The Tender Skin Of Children
is very sensitive to heat. Use Tyree's
Antiseptic Powder for all summer skin
affections. 1t quickly affords the little
sufferer relief 25c. at druggists or
sample sent free by ]. S. Tyree,
Chemist, Washington, D. C.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
AIoof for the Nonce.

Prue-And when Percy proposed
he was quite beside himself, I'll
wager.
Phyllis-I don't remember, but if
he was it was the first time during
the courtship.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Lives of great men oft remind us
that the book agent is abroad in the
land.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Quite Close.
EIIxIR RAnEK A GOOD TONIC

And Drives Malaria out of the System.
Your sBabek' acts like magic; l have
given it to numerous people in my par
ish who were suffering with chills. ma
laria and fever. / recommend 1t to those
who are sufferers and in need Of good
tonic"-Rev. s. Szymanowski. St.
Stephens Church, Perth Amboy, N. ].
Elixir Babek so cents, all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from Kloczew-
ski & Co.. Washington, D. G.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Good Evidence.

Are the Jorkins in good odor in 90
ciety?"
about as good as most Of those
gasoline spenders."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Way Of II.

Our landlady's menu SO often
snubs u.s."
What do you mean by that?"
1T is continually giving us the cold
r."-Baltimor American.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Not PROMISING.

well, after long looking for one,
found an opening yesterday"
"You did,"
eyes; fell into street trench"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Exclamation.

How was it that Jonesby could at
ford to buy yacht?"
Maybe his wife got 1t in one of
these bargain sails"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Natural Instinct,

Poor Billy has bad case of puppy
love-
Evidently that accounts for his fol
lowing his inamorata around like a
dog"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
To Re Exnected.

How that receiver of stolen goods
was scored in COURT"
well, oughtn't fence to put up
with railings?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
The size OF a coin depends OF
whether it is coming or going.
Paw Knows Everything.

Mrs winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma
ton allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc bottleAN
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Differs With Him.

What do you think about that
mans claim that he has invented day
nght?'
81 think it's moonshine."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Adaoe Revised.

children should be seen and not
heard"
Especially when consuming soup"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
ONLY Way to Fly.

SCI thought you said you were going
In for aviating?"
mo. I'm going up for it."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
For SIMMER HEADACHES

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy
no matter what causes then-whether
from the heat, sitting in draughts, fever
ish condition. etc. 10c., Csc and 50c per
bottle at medicine stores. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

No, Alonzo, barnacle isn't tramp
who sleeps in barn.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

You'll never have good neighbors
unless you are one.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Hope is an excellent tonic, but it
makes a poor diet.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Curses on Him.
That fellow is bitterly hated by the
suffragists."
What has he done?"
HE invented the acid proof enve-
ope."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

1t costs the average man lot to be
popular.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
So Like the Summer Girl.

What kind of an engagement ring
would you prefer, darling?"
"Well, they generally give mel
mean-oh, am SO confused-yours is
such perfect taste, Harry, that leave
it all to YOU"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

And Marriage BattleshIp.
Jack-Speaking of ships, what kind
of ship is courtship?
Tom-A transport, my boy.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Never cali any man q liar to his
teeth unless they are false.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

A baby that isn't boss around the
house doesn't amount to much.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

The man who is sorry he didn't do it
yesterday Is the same fellow who Is
always going to do it tomorrow.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Same Thino,

Yeast-They say a fish never does
stop growing.
Crimsonbeak-Well, it hasn't any
thing on a fish story, at that. "-Yonk-
ers Gazette.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
TicklIsh Question.

l}CkISH &QCoIioT1s
rs your wife truthful when 1t
comes to telling her age?"
Yes. But try asking her once how
much she weighs"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
MISSING.

Calls himself an old sea dog, eh?"
Eyes, but nobody has ever been able
to locate his bark"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Some talking machines are made,
but the majority are born.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
ApproprIate Hospitality.

appropriate TIUsPItdITty'
What would you give an old sea
dog to drink"
"T think l would offer him his choice
of port"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Many a fellow who is thrown on his
own resources falls back on those of
his friends.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Post
TOaStieS

Are mighty handy have in the house E===MIH~M w
well mighty good direct Y&yIg1 VIZ AAAy ~
from the package with cream EEsz@7kkaV ZN@1 IN
Besides being the delicious 49, 49, - +"
ready cooked cereal food made Of
crisp nk flakes many another useful home
cooking.
sandu an outer for Dreaded
veal lamb chicken pork o ham, they a to the try that
makes homefdk ask for
with milk and used with usual and fixing
inside dressing for hof fowl a delicate favor
the remndfu of the chestnut filings that
the days Of odLdme cooking
Toases sold by Grocen everywhere and everywhere
folks who relish good things eat appreciate the delicate Indian Com
flavor that makes
"The Memory Linger"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
Why, Certainly.

Miss Founders affects ragtime."
Good heavens, Jimson! People DOM
affect ragtime. That's disease"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29

Some men are so small that two
for five cigar is too big for them.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-29
SYSTEM DOWN TO A SCIENCE
Absent-Mlnded Art Show Director
Compelled to Unwind Lot of
His Own Red Tape.

John Purroy Mitchell. the new Gus
toms collector for New York, praised
system at a dinner.
There's nothing like system" he
said. System will accomplish the i'm
possible.
1.-The director of recent art show
was q fine chap for system. One day
he arrived at the show without his
pass and the gateman, stranger, held
him up.
ct have no pass nor ticket said
the system exponent, but l am the
director of the show
You'll have to produce your ticket,
SIR
"sBut I tell you I'm the director
high mucky-muck-boss.'
"T can't help it, sir: I'm forbidden
to let
eyes, know" said the director i'm
patiently, but, my good fellow, as the
director, give you permission to let
me pass"