davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Norwich bulletin., 1913-02-07
Surely Settles
 Upset StOmaChs.
~FAPEfS DsAPEPSiN~ ENDS iND1- GEST40N, GAS, S0URNESS IN
 FIVE MINUTES.

Really does put bad stomachs in eyaeS-@rea2iy does" overcome indi- EssszoHs dyspepsia gas, heartburn and sozszsaess ia five minutes-thaEjust tiaat-zzaakes Pape's Diapepsin the largest selling stomach regulator in the world. If what you eat ferments into stubborn Jumps, you helch gas and ersletsIe soalf, Und7gested food and acid; head is dizzy an daches; breath foul: lounge coated; your insides fili- ed with bile and indigestibie waste, re- member the moment DiapepsiR comes in contact with the stomach al lsuch distress vaHishes, It's truly astoaish- -alFHosf marvellous and the joy is it's haFInIessRess.
 A large fifty-cent case of Pape,s Di- aPepsiH will give you 8 hundred doI- lars werth Of satisfaetion CT yeug druggist hands ye4 your money back. If's worth it's weight iR gold to men and women was, eaFt get their stoaaae1s fegelatea. II belongs in year At,tsae-sAssas4 at~ayS be kept sIemaeh aYEins tfla day or ai nlsht It's Gas usiseksgt ,surest aud most harnaiess stoInaeh aoctor in the world
Norwich bulletin., 1913-02-07

1 knew Tor a i.om the shots were meant. l did not csc my presence of mind, but heW on. When the guns in the forts
 fired shrapnel at me and when the apparatus had been struck several times by fragments of projcctiies the situation became critical. Fortunately, only the wings were hit and not the motor and so l could keep on and in twenty minutes I was once more ill the flying field of Mustapha Pasha. The apparatus Was repaired and used again
Norwich bulletin., 1913-02-07
everyone was eomfortable.

everyone was comfortable.
 Suddenly a hush fell upon the shock ed amPhitheatre.
 The men in charge of the experiment could be seen running to and fro about the car, trying to look in at the win dows, talking excidely, gestieulating wildly.
 The faces in the royal box turned pale with apprehension.
 What had gone wrong?
 The man with the megaphone stepped forward and said
 Ladies and gentlemen, the experi- ment cannot be finished. The fare register has burst.-Newark News.
Norwich bulletin., 1913-02-07

Only about one girl in a hundred can hit what she aims at when she throws herself at a mans head.
Norwich bulletin., 1913-02-07

xl5 s B EaEeEfISIag EaIs 5 Hse.H# e .454s. F
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

n ETROIT, MICH.-Everybod knows
~ what to expect when the ground
hog comes out of his hole on Feb. 2
and sees his shadow, but what does it
mean when a red alligator somes out
of drain pipe In October, and growls
at you?
That is what Nick Dippong. labor
er. is anxious to find out
At least part of that experience hap
pened to Nick the other day, but he
lie the only one who will vouch for the
growl.
Nick was employed on an excava-
ton Job at 80 Monroe avenue He un-
covered a small tile and broke 1t
open with his pick.
Look out" he yelled. Its coming
out of the sewer"
Nick didn't stop to explain what
it, was, but just breezed out Of that
basement and didn't draw full
breath until he was aboard dump
wagon outside.
Other workmen decided Nicks ac-
tons deserved an explanation, and
they sought it In the basement. There
was no mystery about 1t, however, for
there near the tile lay the cutest lit
tie red alligator they had ever seen
not that they had ever seen one be-
fore, for they are all sober. industrious
men.
The diminutive saurian blinked one
eye and smiled at them. 1t Is rather
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

into room every one in that apart
ment has to quit or be suffocated.
"Clear out of this. boys!" shouted
my friend.
Bursting open the door he rushed
out and plunged into the river. We
were not long In following suit. One
of our visitors made slash at me
with sword as | passed him. but
lodged. We scrambled up the bank
and ran for our lives. They sent a
few shots after US, but made no at
tempt at pursuit. ] guess they were
not particularly anxious to kin us.
1T was bitterly cold and we had
nothing on but our pajamas. so you
may imagine how glad we were when
after stumbling along the bank for
four or five miles we saw the lights OF
the guard boat. That Chink officer
was trump. He looked at US and
laughed, shook his finger at us and
made a speech, but finding we did not
understand him he stopped talking,
took us down into his cabin and gave
US a supper of pork dumplings and
hot tea.
All Kun Disappeared
"At daylight he sent cut party to
look for our boat. The thieves had
carried away everything portable. But
they had not molested the crew, SO
we got back to Canton without any
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

the country. with the Burtons," added
Mr. Lisle
1T is bes::. lear papa" spoke Beu-
lah. soothingly. My income as gov.
erness makes me independent. 1t re-
lieves you of great care until"
Until Lisie & Co. have made sue
cess, supplemented David. 1T shall
be. Miss Lisle." and the young man
felt the surging tide of a new ambi-
ton inspire his hopeful soul.
Beulah could not remain with them,
as the Burtons were already packing
for the removal. There was a fearful
good-by between father and daughter.
David trod on air as the former sug-
gested that he see Beulah home.
All that blissful mile he sought to
cheer her up, to paint her fathers
future In glowing colors When they
parted she asked timid favor.
Il shall be obliged &c leave a pet
kitten behind" she said Il spoke to
father about it. He fancied little
SNOWFALL would be comfort to him.
Could you burden yourself with the
charge, Mr.. Porter"
And SNOWFALL became thus a fixture
at the Lisle place. When David re-
turned home that day, Rolfe Vance.
arrayed gorgeously, was disappointed
ly leaving 1T. He had found a new and
a paying situation, knew that Beulah
was expected on a visit and had ap-
peared to show himself.
All through the long winter eve
nings after that the old man and Da-
vid worked and planned to get enough
ahead to have Beulah come home.
Trade was getting better. but the de-
velopment was slow. One day Rolfe
Vance drifted into the old Office Pros
perity showed in his every word and
action. He had with him fifty dollar
bulldog and wore a diamond pin. He
Wanted grandly of his good luck and
asked about Beulah.
Look Quit" suddenly shouted Mr..
Lisle.
He WAS too late with his warning
The dog had discovered Snowfall
The kitten made spring and sailed
to lofty flight. landing on top of the
file case, joggled the old vase and
there was a topple and crash.
Vance discreetly withdrew. Mr.
Lisle groaned at the wreck and ruin
on the floor. David gathered up the
fragments. Then he uttered a cry OF
amaZement
For among them were folded bank
notes. The secret hoard of old Will
lam Lisle was disclosed-flve one
thousand dollar billsi
Beulah was sent for. New capital
brought new business One day Mr.
Lisle entered the parlor to see daugh-
ter and partner hand in hand. smiling
happily.
'Hoity- he stared What's
this?''
With proud. quiet smile David
Porter took from his pocket a deed of
partnership. He indicated one line
in the same:
ITO have and to hold"
Copyright. 1918, by w. G. Chapmaa)
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

difficulty. We felt pretty mean land
Ing in dirty pajamas.
There is no doubt that the whole
affair was put. up job of All Kum's.
for he disappeared along with the
pirates. He never even turned up 10
ask for his wages. and when a CHINA
man does that there's something IN
his conduct he wishes to conceal.
NO. the river pirates are not blood
thirsty as a rule. A Chink is too prac-
teal for that If he can get what he
wants without killing you he won't
take your life. But, IL necessary. he
VIII murder a hundred babies to get
80 cents. It's all a question of ex-
pedioncy.
Nov, in the taking of the native boat
Kun Shan. which happened about
year after l left the country. there
was considerable bloodshed That
was because the officers and passen-
gers showed fight. when they ought
to have had sense enough to see that
they had no chance.
About fifty pirates got themselves
up as harmless coolies, and paid their
passage to Hongkop They DIS
persed themselves among the other
deck passengers and conversed affably
about the weather and the state of the
crops.
Forty miles down the river, lust
where the stream begins to widen, a
junk lying close In shore fired a gun.
This was the signal for each peaceful
looking coolie to produce short
sword from under his blouse One
party Owed into the engine room. An
other lot rushed up to the upper deck.
Those in the engine room made quick
work of the first and second engineers.
Did the Chinese passengers make
any resistance? Not such fools. They
were not armed. and If they had been
there was no one to lead them
so you see, piracy isn't quite a
dead trade yet. II you doubt my word,
just go over t. China and take a trip
ur the river In company with a bag of
dollars. Give out that you have money
on board. and anchor at night in un-
frequented spots It won't be long be-
fore you get chance of proving that
am telling the truth"
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

FAIR BEULAH Isle
BY GEORGE ELMER COBB.

Il don't think l care to accept the
proposition. Mr.. Lisle'
Rolfe Vance said this with glance
about the dusty. poor looking office
and shrug of the shoulders.
I'll stick" announced David Por-
ter, simply and clearly.
AS he spoke, the earnest faced,
manly appearing young man fixed his
eyes on framed portrait above the
desk Of his employer-the picture of
his daughter, fair. loyal Beulah Lisle.
They were both young men. and
both for over a year had been en-
ployes of John Lisle, who was old.
serious and, just at present, more
than that-worried and Respondent.
In his dainty, foppish way, Vance
picked his steps past the greasy ma
chimes lying around, nodded brusque-
ly and was gone. Perhaps he, too,
thought of the beautiful Beulah. I'm
der existing circumstances, however,
he realized that 1t would be a tedious
road to the winning of that coveted
prize. He was naturally indolent, self
sacrifice was painful to his refined
nature, and, to express his secret
phrasing, he threw up the sponge"
Its a hard outlook, I'll admit,
spoke old Lisle, when he and David
found themselves alone. THAT bank
ruptcy of Merritt & Co. has about
swept our Golfers clean. The worst
of 1t is that it Will take us fully
year to get new standing with our
modern process outfit
But when you do, It's clear sail
ing, isn't it?" submitted David in his
CHEEKY. optimistic way.
Il hope so" and MIR. Lisle went
over to his desk. He was busy for
some time writing rapidly. Finally
he arose. proffering David a written
sheet.
Sign that" he directed
Why, what is this?"
"A deed of copartnership. You've
shown yourself true man in agree
ing to see out a forlorn situation.
We're partners from this on, friend
David" and the brawny hand of the
old workman rested TREMENDOUSLY, al
most lovingly. on the broad shoulder
of his loyal assistant. To have and
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Lacerta Carnegiensis in Water Pipe Two Years

disconcerting to have an alligator
smile at you, particularly red one
and for a moment panic threatened.
About this time Nick returned with
the boss" William J. Keegan. the
contractor who had the excayating IN
charge. Keegan has spent some time
in Florida and knows all about al
ligators. Hence he was quite inter
ested in a red one that growled.
One of the workmen with more
temerity than the others thrust
pencil at their strange find and
promptly conceived deep admiration
for the animals dentistry. for the pen
Gil was bitten squarely in two.
What have you got here, boys!
asked Keegan
"A-a-er a-darn it-a red alliga-
tor" answered he of the broken pen
Gil.
"A what? Well, look at that
Wouldn't that give T. r. a fit ?"
Keegan began humming softly and
stretched out his hand The alligator
closed his eyes. Keegan picked him
up gently and laid him In the palm of
his hand, the while stroking his head
and back.
You poor little cuss," he said.
What you doing way up here?"
Carnegie" as he was named that
on the spot, opened one eye and
showed his teeth In slow grin.
1t has been recalled that a guest at
a hotel about two years ago had two
young alligators and that one escaped.
1t is believed that "Carnegie's" pres
ence in the drain pipe can be account
ed for In this way
His unique color-a dull. brick red
is explained by his two years resi-,
dence in the tile.
Carnegie" is about ten inches long,
and is thought to be four or five years
old.
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Spoke German at the Rate Of 81 Miles an Hou

U ANSAS CITY. MO.-Over at the
N City Center bank they plume
themselves upon the ease with which
they speak German. Indeed, there Is
a sign upon the window. announcing
to all and sundry that 'Deutsch" is
"gesprochen" here.
The real German sharks are the
president and a young woman book
keeper The jocund cashier also
speaks little German sometimes-he
can order beer in German with ease.
but when it comes to more complex
matters he proceeds somewhat slowly
In the cultural tongue.
The other. day the president and
the demonstrating bookkeeper were
both out at: luncheon and the J. c.
was In charge. To the teller's window
caipe Altman who began to rattle off
.thS kaiser's language at the rate of
ninetyfWo miles sp hour. The jocund
cashier raised one hand
Ct a Is cent, schnelEStnot SO fasD."
derine from aht. - :
your hair IA .asa customer slowed
ng-that tRhas bee.as an hour. The
- af.sS treatmenl sefesences
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
CAPTURED WITH FLY PAPER
Clever Idea That Enabled Indian Off,
GER to Subdue Four Man.
Eating Lions.

You know what a feroeious, power
full beast the lion is. And yet can
imagine what strong chains it would
take to hold him fast So, can you
even imagine lion captured with fly
paper? Well. not so very long ago
four huge man-eating lions were ia
ken In that manner at the village of
Gwalior. in India.
1t happened that the head man OF
the village was able to shut the four
lions up in hut into which they had
ventured In search of prey He kept
them thus barricaded for nearly two
weeks. no one being willing to at
tempt to capture them. Finally he
thought of scheme that proved as
successful as it was original.
He had thousands of sheets of fly
paper spread on the ground before the
entrance to the hut. Then, suddenly
the barbados were lifted and the
four lions came bounding out-into
the fly paper. OF course it stuck to
their paws. and, of course, when they
tried to lick it off it became stuck fast
to their faces and heads. The lions
promptly forgot all about b, be-
ings and, In their wild en.r. ia
get rid of the fly paper. ng on
and over on the ground, r9 muf.
fighting for breath. aought
Then the head man and 9TH a sa
ers rushed forward with los In. an
lassoeed the plunging lions and,- wi
them up-fy paper and all! CT
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
A Column for the
Arkansas Farmer
------------------- -------------------------
"
Conducted for This Paper
By JOHN II. PAGE
Commissioner of Agriculture
HORSE BREEDING

The farmer has more drudgery,
more hard work, more real mental
labor to perform, than any other men,
Der of society. 1t may not seem 50.
for a good many of them avoid some
OF it, and consequently are not 50
successful as those who meet it face
to face and perform it with a will.
BY reason of this great amount of
hard work on the farm and the limita-
tions within which they labor, the
farmers do not get as much time for
reading, research, thought and inves-
tiSaton as some other people, and
consequently are not always in po-
sition to be as far-seeing into the 'fu
ture, even in matters that concern the
life and work of the farmer, as others
are, or as they would like to be.
For instance, the scarcity of cattle
and hogs and the consequent high
price of cattle and hogs, was not fore
seen by the farmers until many OF
them had sold off a goodly portion of
their breeding stock.
Now comes another condition that
is soon to stare us in the face if we
do not take time by the forelock. There
is getting to be a scarcity of brood
mares in this country, and as usual it
is going to affect the farmers first.
For several years there have been
reigning high prices in all the mule
markets. Mules have been going higher
and higher. The price has constantly
advanced. The mules have been bring
ing more money than the horses What
is the result? Why, the people have
been breeding their mares to jacks
and raising mules for the market
1t seems nobody looked at the dis
aster that is bound to follow. for If
the country should continue this prac-
tiee and it were to become universal, in
the course of time there would be no
more mares to breed to jacks, and
thus the very foundation for the stock
of horses and mules, would be gone.
The effect is already beginning to be
noticeable. So much SO in fact that
the price of brood mares has already
advanced within less than year past
If you do not believe it, just go to one
of the markets and try to buy car
load of brood mares
Now is the time for the farmers OF
this country to turn their attention to
the breeding of horses, in order to
increase the number of mares for
breeding purposes in the future. In
five years from now everybody will be
talking about the scarcity of horse
flesh, and especially brood mares. The
! thrifty and business-like farmers
should profit by the opportunity while
it is ripe, and so to breeding horses
now. There is good stock of stall
lions in the country now, and others
can be had for the money, so take adj
vantage of the situation without delay.
Do not act unwisely and raise mules.
You might get more for your mules
for year or two. but when the stock
of brood mares runs out what will you
do, and how will you raise either
mules or horses?
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
John ". White for Sheriff.

Mr.. John W. White announces as a
candidate for Sheriff of Drew County.
Mr.. White is one of our most promi-
hent citizens and is well and favorably
known to the people. He is staunch
business man, and one who has been
successful in life. He has never held
once, but is we'll qualified for the po-
si1ioh to which he aspires. Mr.. White
Is a solid Democrat, and asks his Demo
cratic friends for their support and in
nuence. Give Mr.. Whites claims
just consideration.
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

man spoken here" and he gathered
that the customer wanted to know
why 1t wasn't being spoken.
So he explained, with some delibera-
ton, and feeling for the right German
words. that Herr Long was out at
luncheon, and so was Fraulein So-and-
So; that he himself spoke only little
German but he'd do his best.
The customer showed his hat back
on his head.
We'll, I'll be derned," he remarked
with an unmistekable brogue. Il see
the sign on yer windy, and in | comes
to be getting a bit practice in German,
and find ye don't speak it at all. at
all"
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23

OF TINS number one'haN6f *
perhaps. have quietly folded up
their tents, like unto the the
Arabs of old, and Silently stole
away" They have either gone
back to their old homes or drift
ed away iii some other direction.
hunting the land of milk and
honey
Now, in our opinion, there are
several reasons why these peo-
pie become dissatisfied, sacrifice
their property and move away.
In the first place, some of them
are merely shiftless class of ad.
yenturers, looking for a fortune
to be handed them on silver
platter and no effort made by
them to earn it. These, of
course, are doomed to disap.
pointment, and would be any.
where on the face of the earth:
and as to them. it is good
rlddance of bad rubbish" when
they hike out for pastures new
Another, and more desirable
class are those who have been
deceived into coming here by ex-
aggerated coloring of the great
opportunities of getting rich
quick, by buying and selling
land. These people come here |
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Short Stories

Briggs see that Hilpin took
course In short story writing and b
been quite successful at it
Griggs-Wbat do you mean? | Id
pen to know that he hasn't been al
to write successful stort story,
My dear boy. that's nothingg ri
gone into business for himself al
teacher in short story writing II
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Success In IocaIizina cron.

The little seedless grapes which
furnish the so-called dried "currants"
exported from Greece in large guam
titles and produced nowhere else in
the world are a remarkable instance
of localizing of an important crop in
a small district. The annual yield of
these "currants" is over 100000. 900
pounds of fresh fruit, or about 160.-
900 tons when dried
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Record Court Trial.
We pa,
no-~-~

"a hjrty seconds was the time occu-
!. ed by the Birmingham. England.
magistrates in hearing case. A man
was charged with being drunk. but 1t
was explained that he had taken his
passage to Canada, and had only ten
minutes In which to catch his train
for Liverpool. In shade less than
half minute the prisoner had been
fined, had paid the money. and had
left the court room at run.
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Long Lost Auks DISCOVERIES

A species of bird hitherto bell
to be extinct, the rhinocerous an
to be found by thousands on Fu
Island, Alaska. according to al
nouncement made by Prof. n
Heath iof the zoology departing
Stanford university. The auf
said, Is a nocturnal bird abou4
size of a large pigeon. 1t BURR :
much as Is feet In the ground u
it makes It's home.
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
IS \ D

hanged, but on the other hand | might
have made a fortune; and that's
thing beyond the reach of any cap
tain of trading schooner in this year
of our Lord 1913"
But If you think piracy has been
swept off the face of the waters en-
tirely, you're nightly mistaken The
Canton river swarms with that kind OF
thief. and the last time l was In
China l had run In with some of
them.
That was FIVE years ago. l was
second mate on the Orion, trading
between Frisco and Hongkong On
the first trip out | found that we
would have to wait couple of weeks
before we could get our return cargo
On board. / had friend in Canton,
a tea merchant. and the captain al
lowed me to run up and pay him a
visit
He. was glad to see me. and to
pass the time proposed trip further
up the river in a houseboat to a place
where there was good snipe shooting
don't believe could hit an ostrich
flying, much less a snipe. but |
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
WILLING to Take q Chance.

A Scotch elder of the kirk, who was
visiting London for the first time, was
conducted into Leicester Square after
DARK 49, Shown the brilliant exterior
Of the two grand paiaSS .AheH ham.
bra and the Empire. Point RI to the
allurements of the latter, friend
said: Wouldn't you like go in.
slider? Sandy pulled himss Aogether
and in q furtive whispe, INQUIRED
"Dae re think onybody " bee usf"
The Monticellonian., 1913-10-23
Only Prnner Methnd-

1t was not without just cause I
Mr.. Gladstene's name was given
the handy Gladstone bag" j
grand old maj was master of
detail of the art of packinA
country house they were dig
at breakfast the right way tox
sponge bag when the sponge n
used and was consequseI d
logged Mr.. Gladstone.
ly had been wholly absf
mornings correspondence
closed the discussion by ind
party that they were all w9 b
only proper method" said b
wrap it in your bath towelN B.
upon it. Then put it in yo4E
bag You will find it perfetk |