The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-01-16
On the Spur of the
Moment.
By Roy K. Moulton.
From the HickeyviIIe Clarion.


The bartender at the Golden Mug
get hit Hold Peters with a cake OF ice.
and Hold is goin' 20 have him arrested
for carrying CONCEALED weapons;
Amos Butts. our gentlemanly and
general undertaken, also hvery ana
feed and sales stables. is thinking some
of putting in an oatm ,,S nearsee, Dge
that is one time when feiief Wouldn
be in any hurry.
Old man Haskins IS one OF the pest
prophets i'm Hickeyville and environs.
He predicted the long hard winter
the time the pieplant foe, and he
predicted il almost as soon as IL hap
pened. He has seen Deacon Stubbs'
COW rubin up agin the east side of
the corn crib, and he says this is sure
sign that we are either going 10 nave a
hne mild, Open-fa faced winter or a nght
one. He will be able to tell exactly
which about the rust of April or maybe
some time in March. Mr.. Hasklns pre-
dicted the San Francisco earthquake
only twenty-four hours after il hap
pened
Uncle Ezra Iarkins sets pile of
store by his false teeth. which he sent
TO Chicago fer. and in order to make
them last long as possible and not wear
EN- out at meal times he puts EN- IN his
pockt, putin en- IN ms face agl mas as
Ezra got his teeth from mail order
house, and he had to bite on piece OF
putty and send the impression OF the
interior OF his face to the mail order
house by express and the teeth got here
the next day They fitted him purity
good excepting that he can't git his
mouth shut. and there is a gap about a
quarter of an inch. He Is some afraid
that he will let cold wind into his face
during the. severe weather this winter
and give him the innuenzy or the pew
monia. but he has decided to run the
risk and be stylish if it kills him.
WHISPERS.
New York Scientist gives statistics
to prove that long flowing. whiskers
have almost passed out of existence
I am the flowing whisker that decorates
They say that am passe. They tell
me ] m all in.
They say my days are numbered, that
| am of no use
Except to harbor microbes and some
tobacco Juice.
They say l am a relic of ancient by
That I've become an eye-sore, for sure.
in various ways
But l recall the era when l was quite
And every fellow wore me. regardless
of his age
Then l was omnipresent. I dangied in
trailed through restaurant butter and
no one cared whoop.
You were quite sure 70 see me. no
matter where you went.
And you would find me hanging on
every president.
Remem Der Roscoe COnkllngr He was a
friend of mine.
And Grant and Hayes and Garfield?
On them l sure looked fine
And old Count Leo Tolstoy and Uncle
Peter. too.
Were certainly some famous for whisk-
ers that they grew
Upon the classic profile of old Jay
Gould hung.
| also decorated the face of Brigham
Young.
To William Cullen Bryant l chung with
might and main,
You also will remember me hanging on
Jim Blaine.
Longfellow cultivated my friendship
many years.
Walt Whitman. he chung to me through
out this vale of tears.
And Old Joaquin Miller braved biz
yards of the west
With me and never suffered d cold in
throst or chest.
I've made the czar of Russia look some
what like u man
Old Leopold of Belgium, he was one of
my clan
Although these days I'm greeted with
most sarcastic grins,
I've shielded lots of statesmen who
hadn't any chlns-
They say I'm in the garbage; they say
/ am passe
That | have served my purpose and /
have seen my day.
But still. in spite of warnings, II 5
indent pretty safe to bet.
When Gabriel blows his trumpet, Ill
be on some men yet.