The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-07-07
ABatch ofSmiles

For goodness sake. John, how long
did you boil those eggs"
Just as long as you told me to. NV
dear"
bricks"
Il boiled them Just twelve min
utes."
Twelve? Why, I told you that
three minutes was long enough for an
Yes, dear-but I boiled four of
them
The ladies were discussing a we'd
ding which took place in their church
the previous evening.
And do you know" continued the
first and best informed lady Of the
party, Just as Frank and the widow
started up the aisle to the altar every
light in the church went out?"
This startling bit of information
was greeted by a number of "Ohs!"
What did the couple do then? 2"
finally inquired one who beat the
others out in regaining her breath.
Kept on going. The widow knew
her way"
II don't think your father feels very
kindly towards me- said Mr.. Stay
You misjudge MIN. The morning
after you called on me he seemed uiqte
worried for fear I had not treated you
with proper courtesy"
Indeed! What did he .ay?"
He asked me how I could be SO
rude as to let you go away without
your breakfast"
A mar who suffered badly went to
a specialist and after ten difficult
lessons learned to say quite distinct
ly: Peter Piper picked a peck Of
picked peppers" His friends con-
graduated him upon this splendid
achievement.
Yes" said the man. doubtfully.
but it's s-s-such a d-d-decudedly d.
d-dlHicult rem-mark to W-w-work into
an ordin-n-nary accommodation, v
know"
When Frank Stocton started out
with his Rudder Grange experiences
he undertook to keep chickens. One
old motherly Plymouth Rock brought
out a brood late in the fall and Stock
ton gave her a good deal Of attention.
some literary friend, among the rest
Mary Mapes Dodge. Mrs. Dodge was
visiting the farm some time later, and.
happening to think Of her namesake,
she said: by the way, Frank, how
does little Mary Mapes Dodge get
along?"
The funny thing about little Mary
Mapes Dodge" said he, 'is she turns
out to be Thomas Bailey Aldrich."-
Everybody's Magazine.
A teacher in a big elementary school
had given lessons to an infants class
on the Ten Commandments. In order
to test their memories she asked:
Can any little child give me a COM
mandment with only four words in
it?"
A hand was raised Immediately.
Well" said the teacher.
Keep off the grass was the reply.
Outside 1t vas showing hard and
the teacher considered 1t her duty to
warn her charges.
Boys and girls should be very
careful to avoid colds at his time"
she said solemnly. II had a darling
little brother, only I years old. One
new sled and caught cold. Pneu-
monia set in and In three days he
was dead"
A hush fell upon the school room;
then a youngster in the back row
stood UP and asked:
where's his sled"
A we'll known German, who +. some
thing of a wag. walked into one Of
the public Offices in Cincinnati the
other day. and from the noise it was
plain that he was wearing a pair OF
new shoes. or n es that had recently
been repaired.
One Of the clerks remarked about
the shoes. and the German said:
II m pretty near selling desc
shoes the other day."
How was that?" asked the clerk.
IT had 'em half soled.' said the
German rs he walked out OF the ONCE.
A deep groan a heard as he
slipped through the door.