The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1913-10-24
THE BEAR
THAT JOKED
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

my smokin' house but fur the darkies.
'Twixt the one and t'other I'm driy,
en- to eat coon and possum meat most
Of the time Dawg-gone bars and
dawg-gone darkies"
The Arkansas squatter, having deliv-
cred himself of the above. filed his
corncob anew, drew several long puffs
and continued:
Everybody knows what taste the
darby has fur bucon, but you will meet
up with mighty few people who know
that bar will face most any odds to
git hold Of fresh pork.
aside from the pork question. the
bar is also smart in hevin' sense Of
humor. I never heard one go haw,
haw, haw. but I've seen 'em wearin' .
grin and feelin' tickled. ~. =
'It was one night about FIVE years
ago that bar come along" at night
and took my pig out Of the pen. I was
lynn sick at the time and couldn't git
out to shoot him, but reckoned he'd
hang around till got a show to git
even.
ut was a month befo' I was out,
and then spring had come, and fur
was no good. All l could do was to
play joke ON that varmint and make
him feel bad. I got some barbed wire
and strung 1t across the pen; and when
all was ready I killed woodchuck
and dragged him around the pen and
throwed his carcass in The old wO
man seen what was goin' on and said:
":Jim, are yo' gwine to tangle that
bar up In that barbed wire?'
""rhat's what it's fur said l.
"'What 20 got ag'in him?'
"'He carried off our hawg.'
"sThat was bekase yo' was too lazy
to roof the pen in wouldn't do any
foo1in' with that bar. He cum loafin'
round yere the other day when yo'
was away. and he looked mighty Sc
rious and solemn. He amt no critter
to joke with
"'But he'll hev to stand it jest the
same. II he gifts among them wires
he'll feel ticixIed to death
"'Waal,' said she. 'yo' 60 ahead, but
I'm tellin' yo' that If yo' joke with that
bar he'll cum out ahead. Thar's bars
and bars. Some goes. in fur fun, and
some don't ~ ~
'That night about 'leven o'clock that
bar cum spooi1in' round was awake
and heard him snifin'. but kept quiet
till he climbed up the logs Of the pen
and dropped down inside. He knowed
woodchuck from hawg, Of co'se, but
woodchuck was good 'nuff for him jest
then. II he saw them barbed wires he
took EN- fur strings. Leastwise he
ieaped right down. and next mint he
was maxim fuss 'nuff fur three dog
fights. They heard him howlin' way
over to Jim Tanners place. Lawd.
sab, but 1t made my HAIR stand up to
hear him take on! But got on my
clothes and went out to rub it into him
a little. LOokin' down into the pen,
called him a Aawg thief and lots of
other names. and every time he roared
laughed in his face. jest poked fun
at that critter till was tired. How
the varmint got Tree and got out of
the pen dunno. but he was gone in
the mawnin'. Thar was blood and fur
all over the pen. and thar was fur scat
tered all round the yard. and reck-
on he'd had bad time of it, That was
the last seen of that bar fur long
time-in fact. so many weeks had gone
by I'd clean forgotten him when cum
home on day and the old woman said
to me:
"'Jim, camp meetin' begins tomorrer
at Coon Greek. and We'll tote ourselves
over thar
"Too much shoutin',' said L.
"'Yo' never mind the sLoutin', but
git ready
81 didn't keer to go, but l didn't
want to fuss. and so the next mawnin'
we toted along. We reckoned to stay
TO- days, but OH the second day the old
woman said to me:
'"Jim, yo' member that bar go
joked with?'
reckon
"'Ever seen him sencep
"'Noap.'
"'Waal. I've had a vision. I was
putin the beans over to cook while
listened to the preachin' when that
bar seemed to rise right up befo' me-
and he was GRIMM
"'What abOutG
"T couldn't say. but he was feelir
powerful good natured over sunthin'
Don't yo' reckon we'd better 60 home1
"'What fur?
""To see IL that varmint hain't bin
up to sunthin'. He may hev got the
cabin doah open.
II laughed at her fur spell, but
she got so anxious that we finally sot
out fur home. We was still half
mile away when cloud of featbsrs
came flynn through the air, and we
both groaned. When we got little
nearer we saw the front door open
and later on we looked in upon SIGH a
scene as no cyclone ever left behind
That blamed bar had bin in the cabin
fur day or two and he had jist claw
ed and scratched and bit and destroy
ed till the fireplace was about the
only thing left. We stood thar fur