davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
LAUGH WAS ON ENGllSHMAN
Sailor Thought 20. n. Ten" las Hs
Took ~ Was Queer Name For
United States War Vessel

When members OF the crews o.
warships OF different governments
meet while on liberty leave at porl
there usually follow badinage ant
banter that would make good read
ing" said a former bluejacket OF Tn
Gle Sans navy a few days ago. "Ths
funniest thing | have heard was wher
| was at Hongkong with a liberty
party from the Wisconsin, and we mel
a similar squad from the English man
of-war Goliath.
"As usual, we started In to Kid
them about having odd names for theil
boats.
Our scrappers may ave hode
names to you Yankees spoke up the
boatswain of the squad, a burly cock
ney, but we 'aven't such bally names
as o. H. Ten
This brought laugh from King
Edwards men, but we could not see
the joke.
o. II. Ten?' questioned one OF ouI
men. Why, we haven't such a name
as that on any Of our boats.
'Cawnt 'elp it, camo back from the
cockney. I saw 1t wit my own heyes
only lawst night as the boat cleared
port. She had it on her stern. o. II
Ten
Then there came a laugh from my
party that could almost be heard to
the state their ship was named for
The battleship that had cleared Hong
kong the night before had on her stern
In brass letters two feet high, OHIO
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
THE YOUNG Man CO. EVEN.
And There Is One Woman Who VIII
Always Hate Him.

The subway car lurched The
young man who was standing hang
Ing to a strap lost his hold. you
contemplate pup" she began, her
shrill voice making itself heard
throughout the car. Il wish you to
understand that l am not lamp.
post or a piece Of furniture to be
chung to for support! You have no
right to crowd in and tear other peo-
pie to pieces with your big, clumsy
hands. You unmannerly pumpkin,
you deserve to be-"
Excuse me, madam" broke in the
young man, you have made mis-.
take"
"A mistaken" demanded the lady,
her eyes flashi-s with anger What
do you mean?"
This, madam" replied the young
man. Il am not your husband"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

we'll and hearty and weigh about
200 pounds. l feel very grateful that
found Dodds Kidney Pills and you
may publish this letter If you wish.
am serving my third term as Probate
Judge Of Gray Co. Yours truly.
PHILIP MILLER, Cimarron, Kan.
Correspond with Judge Miller about
this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills, Soc per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co..
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and 70
cipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent free.
Adv
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Equalizinq Thinus.

Two lrishmen arranged to fight a
iuel with pistols. One of them was
distinctively stout and when he saw
his lean adversary facing him he
raised an objection.
"Bedad." he said, I'm twice as big
target as he is, so | ought to stand
twice as far away from him as he is
from me-"
BE aisy now" replied his second.
I'll soon put that right"
Taking piece of chalk from his
pocket he drew two lines down the
stout mans coat, leaving a space be-
tween.
Now" he said, turning to the 9TH
sr man. fire away. ye spalpeen, and
'emember that any hits outside that
'halk line don't count"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Shop Talk.

A young woman of Baltimore was
asked by friend as to the likeable
ness Of young chap who for some
time had been paying devoted atten
ton to the young woman in question
oh" replied the fair one, careless.
ly. William is nice fellow, but
he talks shop too much"
"How's that?" was the next cues.
tion. Il thought he was a street car
conductor"
so he Is" returned the other,
and he's continually saying, sit up
closer!'"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Breaking the News,

An elderly laborer was in i'll health
and despite his wife's cautionings
persisted in going daily to his work.
One day his foreman, who prided him.
self on being man of charming tact,
dropped in to see the good wife.
Mrs. JONES'" he said after pass
Ing the time Of day, Pm afraid your
husband isn't going to live very much
longer"
man in alarm, what makes you think
thatr'
We'll, ma'am, you see," the fore
man replied thoughtfully, about an
hour ago he dropped dead"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Airy Discourse.

This man has made a speech con.
tradicting what he said some time
ago." said the paste and scissors edi-
kor.
"Ail right" said the headline artist
Wen print it under the captain. At
mospheric Change"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

How did you catch that dreadful
cold?" asked the tall, pale chorus
man. Did you go out without your
gloves on?"
NO" reptile the hand ONE pink
'un, Il was calling on Reggie and his
confounded dog kept wagging his tail
and creating a daught!"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

Benevolent Old Lady Ito little boy
In streeD.-Why. little boy, how did
you ever get such black eye?
Small Boy.-Me and Sammy Jones
was fightin' for an apple in school an
he smashed me.
Benevolent Old Lady.-Dear, deari
And which glutton got the apple?
Small Boy.-Teacher, ma-am.-Har.
per's Weekly.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Full of Historic Interest

Papa. wake up!" exclaimed the
lovely girl in the front seat of the
automobile. Were going through
some wonderfully interesting coun.
try"
What's interesting about it?"
sleepily growled the father of the fam.
lily.
The chauffeur says we are coming
to the meadow where Maud Muller
raked the hay!"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Creature of Habit.

II see you have disposed of that
fine horse you bought from the city"
Yes" replied the regretful milk
man; "he hurt my business. He had
been used for pulling a sprinkling cart
and stopped at every lydrant."-
Judge
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Unfair ADVANTAGE.

Cleverton-l expect to have IN
awful scene with Galloway over that
political squabble we've got into. I'm
going to have it out with him tomor-
row
Dashaway-Where are you going to
meet him? At the club?
Heavens, no! The clubs no place
for quarrel. I'm going to have him
ut my home. Life.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Not Ahead of Him.

Little boy-Say, Jimmy, we are
going to have a steam guage in our
house.
Jimmy-Pshaw that's nothing.
Heard my pop say we are going to
have a mortgage on ours-Mack's Ma
tional Monthly.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Sc elmo Double

Police Magistrate-Hovn't OF seen
yez here twicet befure?
Prisoner-Only onct. yer ahner, an
that was last Patrick's day.
Police Magistrate-St. Patrick's day.
was ut? Wull. thot Explains ut. OF must
ave seen two of yez.-Puck.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Ihere Are Ofhers

Let me write the songs of a ma
ton" said the ready made philoso-
pher, and | care not who makes the
laws"
Il won't go quite so far as that"
replied Senator Sorghum; but let me
write the amendments and | care not
who draws up the bills"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Funny. Isn'f LIZ

The Comedians a fanny thing.
The Soubrette-What is?
The Comedian-A boy is christened
with water and afterward takes to
booze, while a boat is chistened with
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Packing Room Comedy

George-Rudolf, go downstairs and
get me some excelsior.
Rudolf-Excelsior! What's that?
George-You know, that stun that
looks like hay
Rudolph-Oh. that long sawdust!-
Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Against a Stone Wall.

My poor man, you are the picture
If detection" sympathetically declared
The prison visitor.
And a framed picture, at that"
tdded the convict.-Buffalo Express.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Literally So.

Mother - Well, your fance has
sailed. 1t hurts one to have to part
As you did last evening, doesn't it.
dearie?
Engaged Daughter-Yes, mother,
ache Ia every rib todayl
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Easily Seen

have the Jinxes a family skele-
TONI"
Yes, and she's wearing one of these
'lihouette gowns, too. "-Liverpool
Mercury.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

Schuyler-What constitutes the
three RS" in the education of a de-
butante?
Van Puyster-Well, | should say
raiment, ragtime and repartee.-Life.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
A CAPITALIST.

That man is one of our leading
capitalists" said Miss Cayenne.
Didn't know he was in that line
at all. What is his speciality"
THE capitalization of the letter
T."-W ashington Star.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Pruu ence.

links appears to be putting aside
something each month for a rainy
day"
His failure to return umbrellas
made me suspect ~ much"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

my breath was
short and l had
chills and back
ache. l took the
pills about a year
ago and have had
no return of the
palpitations. Am
now SO years old.
able to do lots Of
manual labor. am
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
A Full Course.

Does your son intend to take
fun course in college?"
1t looks that way. His liquor bill
for the first month was over thirty
dollars "-Iudge
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
No Mechanical Influence

Was it a case of love at first
sight?"
Il would hardly call 1t that He did
not get his auto until a month after
they met."-Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Proof Of IL

That pretty little singer has kill
Ing ways"
Yes, / know; she murdered nv
song"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

Her Father (sternly-Young man,
can you support my daughter in the
style she's been accustomed to?
Lover (briskly)-1 can. but I'd be
NdhAmed to.-x4fA
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
its WAY,

l hear there is a new comet com
ing"
Yes, and on a special train"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Made Him Short Temnered

"Bothering me again about that bill
say didn't tell you three weeks ago
that was short?"
Yes. but you are short too con-
tounded long"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
JUDGE CURED. HEART TROUBLE

took about boxes of Dodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which l had suffered for 5 years. I
had dizzy spells. my eyes pulled.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

Love Is apt to blockade the side
walk; this makes the world go round.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07

His Ma-Why. Willie, how clean
your hands are!
Willie-Aren't they? But you ought
to have seen EN- before / helped
Mary make the bread
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1913-11-07
Foley Kidney Pills Relieve

promptly the suffering due to weak, in
active kidneys and painful bladder action
ihey otter powerful help to nature
In building up the true excreting kid
ney tissue. IN restoring normal action
and In regulating bladder irregularities
Try them.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
SUNSHINE TO STAY
FOR ANOTHER DAY,
WEATHER FOLK SAY

The unreasonable altogether quite
welcome spell of sunshine and warmth
that is being visited on Atlanta shows
no immediate signs of preparation Tor
departure. Not only will it stay another
day, at least, but it will grow more and
more balmy. boosting the mercury in
the thermometers to a station Of
warmth tomorrow that will be surpris-
ing. So the weather man reads from
his maps.
Nowhere in the United States, ac-
cording to the maps, exists cold or dis
agreeable weather. Upon the western
Canada border where the natives would
grumble at anything above zero, the
thermometer is relatively low. But
elsewhere in the United States a gen.
eral spell Of exotic weather prevails,
and it will be some time, according to
the indications, before a disturbance
will blow toward Atlanta to spoil the
very glorious condition of things
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
HOPE OF ADDITION TO
LOCAL POSTOFFICE is.
SEEN IN HOUSE BILL

Prospect OF the addition Of a much
needed several thousand feet of floor
space to the present available office
room in the Atlanta postoffice is held
out in the bill for the appropriation Of
sos. 600 for the postofice needs, intro
duced in congress by Representative
Howard.
similar bill. for smaller amount,
was defeated last year The postoffice
officials, however, think that the pres
ent bill will pass because of the urgent
necessity for enlarged accommodations
and because of a recent appeal which
went to the treasury department. Any
how, Assistant Custodian Seals hopes
it will pass, saying That it. is needed
badly.
OF the amount asked, $4,000 viii be
devoted to finishing the NTH floor of
the Federal building. which now is un-
completed, and providing a room for
civil service eXaminati ton purposes and
quarters for the railway mail service
printing department. as well as for Of
fees of other departments which are
cramped at present
The remainder OF the appropriation,
$4,000 will be devoted to the work of
interior decoration and finishing.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
GAMBLER is NAMED TO
REPRESENT STATE IN
RY. TAX ARBITRATION

Comptroller General Wright has APP
pointed Railroad Commissioner Gambler
to represent the state in a forthcoming
arbitration Of the tax returns Of GER
tain roads included in the Central sys-
tenn
The disputed returns are those Of the
Augusta and Savannah and the South
western parts of the Central system.
The roads returned their property at
$2,091 1873, and the comptroller raised
them to $5,354,310 The roads will be
represented in the arbitration by Alex
ander w. Smith.
The Central is contending the right
of the state to tax these roads. under
a charter granted them before they
were absorbed by the Central, and that
contention is now pending in the United
States courts. The state can not go
back more than seven years, however.
in the matter of back taxation. and it
Is to protect the state, in the event it
wins its suit in the Federal courts, that
the present arbitration is sought
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
SOCIETY MATRON'S
TESTIMONY LANDS
NEGRO THIEF IN JAIL

Mrs. Thomas H. Latham. a young So
ciety matron. 80 Ponce DeLeon ave
nue., thinks the purse snatchers and
pilferers of Atlanta have elected her as
their principal victim.
A month ago Mrs. Latham pursued
negro purse snatcher through the
streets, at first on foot and then in an
automobile, to recover a SO mesh bag
containing $40 in cash.
Today Mrs. Latham appeared in city
criminal court to prosecute Frank
jackson, g negro, who disappeared with
50 she had given him to mail Christ
mas cards. Judge Calhoun fined Jack.
son $50 and the negro chose the alter
native of six months in jail.
Jackson had been called TO the La
than residence as q messenger. He
was given 200 Christmas cards to mail
50 with which to buy stamps and d
small amount for his trouble The ne.
gro got out of sight, ditched the cards
and pocketed the money.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
LIBRARIES WON'T GET
CARNEGIE TO HEAVEN,
SAYS EVANGELIST ORR

Andrew Carnegie is an unbeliever.
The man Who dies an unbeliever is
damned. Despite his lavish gifts OF
millions, Carnegie has never done one
thing to please God
DR. w. w. Orr. the evangelist now
at the North Avenue Presbyterian
church. in q stirring sermon before a
large congregation last night, thus di-
agnosed the spiritual condition of the
celebrated multi-nlillionlirc.
ANDREW Carnegie viii fad that he
can not buy his way into heaven de
clared the minister.
Carnegie has done a lot of good in
building Libraries and in other like
ways, but all this counts for naught.
Carnegie can not conceal the fact thas
he is an unbeliever-and he knows the
penalty of unbelief The word of GOD
is plain-salvattou comes TO the be-
lever. damnation is in store for the
unbelicVeT"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
Geo. N. Reynolds. Member Of
Monopoly, Says Concentra-
ton Has Gone Too Far.
ASKS NEW LAWS AND
CURRENCY EXTENSION
No Body of Men Should Be
Permitted to Kill Competi-
ton, He Says.

WASHINGTON. Jan. 16.-George NJ
Reynolds president of the Continental
and Commercial National bank of Chi
cago, Who declared in a speech in 1911
thar the money power of the country
was in the hands of a dozen men, OF
whom he was one declared before the
money trust investigation committee of
congress today that the concentration
Of the money power Of the country at
the present time is a menace. He said
new laws of control were needed. and
that be wa willing to take his chances
for success on u competitive basis I'M
der regulation by law,
Reynolds asserted as his belief that
lhere is concentration of money pow
er in New York and other cities that in
q general way represents menace tc
\.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
EDUCATOR OF ROME,
MISSING FOR MONTH,
FOUND DEAD IN RIVER

ROME, GA, Jan. 10 Missing since
shortly before Christmas. Professor
Hugh Ray NoIen former principal of
the Margie school here, has been found
dead in the Cumberland river, Tennes-
see, The theory is that he committed
suicide.
When Nolen left here he told County
Superintendent John g. King that he
was going TO Cuba, and i'll doing so
hoped to pay some obligations that had
heaped on him He acted queerly, the
superintendent says.
Nolen's friends heard nothing from
him until news from the young mans
home st Gainesville, Tenn, bore the
announcement OF his untimely death. 1t
is not known whether he was murdered
or committed suicide. His friends are
inclined to give more credence to the
latter theory.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
Excess of Concentrated
Power a Menace.

The excess of power OF any kind in
the hands OF few men," he said lis a
monaco A distribution Of power would
be better for the masses. In my opin-
ion, concentration of credit and wealth
already has gone SO far as to consti-
tute menace. l do not mean to say by
this that the people now in control
have used their power unfairly"
The theory Of voting trusts in the
hands OF three men, which prevails at
the Guaranty Trust Company and the
Bankers Trust Company in New York,
was declared by Reynolds to be unwise.
y speech which Reynolds delivered
in 1911 was read TO the witness by
Untermyer, Among the statements
therein was one that the money trust
was in the hands of a dozen men. of
whom he (Reynolds) was one.
Reynolds explained that he was re-
ferring in this speech to the national
power to issue credit which was con-
centrated in a few of the national re-
serve cities. This explanation was Of
fered also in connection with the ex-
tract from his speech asserting that
two or three men in New York and two
or three men in Chicago and two or
three men in st. Louis cotld control
the credit in country banks.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
Captain Clayton Says Huge
Sum Is Needed to Meet De-
mandS of People.
COUNCIL WILL PASS
ON HIS.APPOINTMENTS
Construction Head Urges Res
toration of Abolished Jobs
and Higher Salaries.

Chief of Construction Clayton today
asked the council finance committee
for an increase of about $500, 900 in the
budget of his department The items
include approximately $4,000 for new
officials and increases in salaries
Members Of the committee and sew
eral councilmen who contemplate a fur
Their reorganization of the department.
in ar effort to make ii more business
like frankly admitted that they were
bewildered by the report.
The tone of Captain Claytons talk
to the committee was that the cause
for the conditions Of streets and sew
ers which have brought down so much
criticism on his department was a lacI,
of funds
Il haven't added UP the total" said
Captain Clayton but this is not all
we need. To make the department what
the people want it to be would take the
whole city income and more"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
Now England Bobs Up
With a Perfect Girl
Rival Of Venus de Milo
Artist Finds Practical Duplicate
OF Greek Goddess; Smaller
Than Elsie Schell.

LONDON, Jan. 16.-England scored
again today in the competition between
the United States and Great Britain
over the question of which has the most
perfect woman. Mrs Porter Bailey.
an artist, has produced new mod -
ern Venus in the person of Miss \,
whose identity is a secret
According to Mrs. Bailey, Miss \,
who is too modest to allow her name to
become known is almost u perfect du-
plicate of the Venus OF Milo Here are
her measurements:
Height, feet inches, head, 213
inches; neck 12.5 inches; chest. 33
inches; bust, 81 inches; waist, 26
inches; hips, 80 inches; thigh, 20
inches; calf, 1871 inches: ankle.
inches; knee. 10 inches; upper arm, IFS
inches; forearm, go inches; wrist, SO
inches.
Miss X is u years of age and is a
favorite In society Her measurements
are from one to three inches less than
those of Miss Elsie SchelI, of Cornell
university, the latest American Venus
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
BAN ON TURKEY TROT
BY ROME DANCE CLUB
STIRS SOCIETY FOLK

ROME, GA, Jan 1G-Such little
steps as the turkey trot. the Boston dip,
the grizzly bear, and SO on, have been
placed under the ban by the Nine
O'Clock German club, ana several Rome
society girls are protesting.
Those who are back Of the movement
to abolish the latest ways of dancing
say that the modern whirl is 100 far
away from the stately minuet of long
ago, and they fear for the future of
the dancing art if a halt is not called
On the other hand there are the trot
ters, who say that Rome dancers have
never trotted the trot as it was intend
ed to be trotted by those who intro
duced it, The Rome trot, they say. lis
a modest modification of the original
its grace and eliminating its
undesirable features.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
Eager to See
Present Laws Changed.

Il am urging currency extension, >
said Reynolds, ito end existing evils.
would like to see the laws changed and
l will take my chances of success I'm
der them under the law of competition.
I do not believe the law of competition
is dead, and l don't think that any body
of men should be permitted to kill It,"
Public hearings in the money trust
investigation will be concluded on Fri
day of next week. Then. Chairman Pujo
and Counsel Samuei Untermyer will
visit William Rockefeller at a place to
be designated later and take his depo-
sitioH
Chairman Pujo announced the plans
today, and added that the committee ii
the conclusion Of today's session will
take a recess until next Wednesday
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-01-17
BRIDE FRUSTRATED
AS HUSBAND IS HELD
ON BIGAMY CHARGE

MIS-. p. M. Mearse, of u Central
place, a bride of but one month, today
is suffering with nervous prostration
following tae arrest of her husband on
suspicion Of be1$s u bigamist.
Mearse is a railway mail clerk and
runs between Atlanta and Birmingham
He is accused Of having another wife
living near Birmingham. When seen in
the police station today he declined TO
make any statement.
The bride, who is at the home of her
sister Mrs. o, C. Coleman, was so i'll
she could not be seen.
Mrs MeaIse formerly was Miss EIiz-
abeth Loving, Of Commerce, Ga. AS
the marriage took place in Commerce.
Me&rsc win be taken to Clarke county
for trial.