The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-12-16
PUBLIC MEN ON
GRILL BY The
GR|DIRON CLUB
PRESS REPRESENTATIVES, AT
NATIONAL CAPITAL GATHER AT
ANNUAL DINNER AND MAKE
MERRY WITT. LEADING MEN AS
TARGETS FOR FUN.
BY ASSOCIATED PRESS

BY ASSOC1AIEb
Washington, Dec. 15.-How the
United states would be governed un'
der Mexicanized administration; how
the appetites of the hungry of1ce'
seeker should be appeased; the secre
of the perennial domination of Tam
many. and the best way to dispose o.
undesirable statesmen--were some O
the questions which the Gridiron ciuf
undertook to answer in humorous vein
before a goodIy company Of distin-
guished guests Saturday at its annual
December dinner.
Few of the company escaped the
shafts of wit. Vice President Marshall
Secretary Bryan and leaders in senate
and house came in for a share on the
gridiron but it was evident that nc
one enjoyed the grilling more than the
victims themselves.
Prospective candidates for presiden-
tiaI nomination surely must have beer
discouraged at the troubles and uncer-
families ahead of them. when the
American government is conducted or
opening slxit An extra edition of an
evening newspaper announced: Grave
Crisis in American Affairs. u. s.
Mexicanized. Old Order Superseded
Dictator Takes Reins of Government "
Whereupon appeared in the dining hall
an army clad in ragged but gaudy
uniforms, headed by Bryanna, Bry-
anna, followed closely by one Tu-
multo, with the announced purpose-of
giving an exemplification of Mexican
methods as applied to American af-
fairs.
Bryanna Bryanna-''viva Mexico"
Tumulto-''What's the Irish of It?
I can't talk Spanish"
B. B.-tWel you and your chief have
been walking Spanish for some time.
dards / have grabbed the presidency"
Voice from Rear-That's the only
way you could get it."
The dictator then appropriated all
dered the execution of a few congress-
men. When urged to save q few for
the next holiday he replied: I'VE can
begin on the supreme court tomor-
row"
Vice President Marshallera appeared
and explaining that he had heard there
was vacancy at the White House
claimed his rights. He was, however
promptly elected by the dictator with
the reark: Rights! Why the only
the presidents state of health, and L
we'll"
After increasing his own salary,
Bryanna Bryana made all his army
generals; told them he could not pay
and sent them out to kill Champero
Clarkiste. But that astute leader won
over the army with promise of pay
and marching into the hall, overthrow
Bryana and ordered his execution;
which sentence, however, he was i'm
PEELED to make worse by adding, "cut
his vocal cords
Hardly had the new dictator as
sumed Office and killed Senators O'Gor-
mano. Reedavera and Hitchkoko, be-
Tore the army which has bee Doutside
Reducing Senior Bryana's income at
Its source" returned headed by an
other pretenderzthis time william
Alsorandolph Hersta' who dema nJied
the presidency on the ground of "the
million acres own in Mexico, that
want this country to protect" He
ordered the army to kill Clarkista. who
replied: TOO late. That's
what your support did to me at Bal
timore''
Hersta seizing the reins of power
announced that he wanted to inter-
said: ''Thre's no war at present" re-
piled: start one then and saw I did
It. Then stop 1t and say stopped II.
Moosebullera appeared for the fourth
TIME to demand his rights" but scut-
tied away when Hersta threatened TO
print full reports of his speeches.
BY that time the tickle minded arnoO
nad been taken by Battle Bob Ia
toilette, who assumed command on
me claim that He is the only honest
Dictator Hersta with the declaration:
i originated universal peace. Rrvana
stole that from me. am the orig-
NAL trust buster Everybodvss busf-
ing them now-and they stole nv
stuff. | wanted the progressive nom.
nation for president The Bull Moose
stole that from me" MUSE
MarsnaueTa again bobbed IN shout
lHs' me constitution saws,
Wnen ne was cut short by LaFollette
Win MY dear sir; you are hewii-
uered. The constitution hasn't snoIxan
ABOVE whisper for several wears -
Marsnallera retired finally mon he
nip. oi iiiouS tur-
Scarcely had the company recovarea
rom such a fearful dream of Mext-
canlzation when further disorder we 9
created by the sudden appearance IF
MIS-. Pankhurst, whose shrialxc ~
votes Tor Women" and demand fo, .
seat or honor were finally s11hdI,ed b.1
me suave presidents offer of hosni
Ially, when he was warned that wo-
men now vote in ten states.
aklng the public into its cons
aence the Gridiron club openIv in
.eIatso nVe new members into mem
oersnlp-1 They were e. A. Fowler Of
ne new York Sun; Arthur b Kroctr
oi the Louisville Courier Torr.aI.
Jonn z. Ryan of the San Francjsco
Post; Fred Essary of the RaI+in,ore
sun and Thomas w Rrahanv ~ ~
White House offices
The initiation was to have been con-
Quoted by the Federal Reserve Eosrd
composed of Harry Thaw, David La