Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-06-26
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

A silent husband sets the wife think
ing.
A drug store blush never made man
imagine girl was modest.
In the struggle for existance why do
people forget the Golden-Rule.
You can sit down and dream millions,
but it takes sweat to get dollars
A woman is really brave when she is
trying to make some man better
Why can people be sick all day, but
will not send for the doctor until mid
night.
There would be fewer failures
could baseball enthusiasm be carried
into business.
Joy.riding is one of the things that
ought to be done soberly-which man
ifestly, is impossible
This good republican corn weather
is another astonishing incident in a
democratic administration
If any more immoral Carnival Com
panies are to exhibit in Audubon they
will have to get in before July LIST.
1t is always interesting at this time
of the year to find out in how many
new places the old garden hose leaks |
The fact that they have no money in |
the bank doesn't prevent some men
from getting overheated during dis |
cussion of currency reform
They tell us the Extra boys love to
take chance. You can get rid of a |
second hand coffin there if you have
sense enough to rattle it off.
After a man has been married about |
ten years he isn't half as much worried |
about his socks wrinkling up at the |
ankles as he is about the holes in the |
toes.
All huuuuOu uldu WIN WAS dtWdyH /
Dragging about his Blue Blood got a |
rap on the nose and his handkerchief |
got just as red as that of any other
mutt.
A girl always tells the shoe clerk |
that she wears number threes, but her |
feet are swollen. And the clerk gets
down pair of wide skies and keeps
his face closed.
An Audubon man blushed from his
chin to the top of his head when the
vaudeville stars cracked the chestnut
last week that table legs were bare.
By jove weren't they rude.
There's bunch Of fellows in every
town who can : stand it to labor irr the
heat, who find cold unbearable but
whose appetites never fail Why not
do something for and to these unfortu-
nates2
To be a real life booster means to be
a booster without any provisos. If the
other fellow gets little business you
used to get don't kick and get grouchy
but hustle around and find new worlds
to conquer.
With all the talk about preventing
marriage between unfit persons not
much has come of it. The hardest
thing is the world is TO convince the
other persons that we ought to pick
wives or husbands for them.
Good clothes are tonic A. F. Buth-
veg says. Ever notice how fellow in
suit holds his head up and squares his
shoulders2 And ever notice how the
fellow with the shiny elbows and the
faded pants slouches along?
Audubon is on the map to stay All
she has to do now is to replace old sour
grapes with fresher and broader individ-
duals. Some people have been mean
enough to intimate that the beginning
of new era is to dawn on or about
July 1st
A minister in one of our local churches
asked the Sunday school last Sunday,
what the difference was between a pub
lie school and Sunday school A
bright little mind replied In the pub
lie school, yon have to work, and in
Sunday school You don't.
A girl spent couple of weeks wages
on having dress made to fit her. AZ
ter couple of "tryons" she arrived at
the conclusion that the new garment
would startle her friends when they
sawit. Imagine her surprise Sunday
morning when she came to don her
new wearing apparel to find that the
garment was at least two sizes too small
Fortunately for the dressmaker that
she did not hear the reading of her
pedigree before peace apd quiet reigned
in the part of town that the young
lady calls home.
A jew purchased horse and sent
his SON to livery stable to find ont
how much it would cost to board it.
Johnny came back and said the price
was $25 month. ''Go hack and Jew
him down, said the Jew to his son.
When his son returned the second time
he said the liveryman had cut the price
to $50. The jew promptly sent him
back again and when he returned he
that he had Jewed the
liveryman down to $15. The Jew then
sent him back still another time and
when he came back he told his father
that it was no use. He won't take
no less than SIS a MONTH" he said.
Well" said the father. go back and
ind out how much he'll give us for the
lorse's manure. When the boy re-
urned he looked detected. What did
10 say2" asked the father. ''No use, /" =
eplied the boy. He told me there