The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1913-08-23
"Cnclc Josh Haysccd."


smiled at the thought that he would
recognize him should chance ever
throw them together? But such is
not always the case, as more than one
h+yseeds and hayseeds, but most of
them are no more akin to "Uncle
Josh than to Adam himself Many
think him very seedly, ludicrous, the
putt OF every crowd, appareled, like
"Old Crimes" in a long gray coat all
buttOned down before. When that
was the style he may have gone that
way. The very thought of assOciat-
! ing style with Uncle Josh makes my
reader laugh, but it need not, for
while that old gent is unusually alb
sorbed in other matters of greater
moment, yet his apparel is by no
means out of date
l hear a number challenge that
statement and / understand WHY they
are so sincere. Uncle Josh is no or
dinary man more than once marshal
ing and leading to victory great
armies, more than once in great
crisis placed at the helm of affairs of
government SO what should nearly
every hayseed in the country do but
name son after him, hoping the
child might live to emulate the ex.
ample of that great man. You need
not stare, Uncle Josh IS a great man
and many people know it, More than
that the country would nave gone to
the bad had it not been for Uncle
Josh. Where do l get my infOrma-
tion?" From history Brother read
and see.
l saw a negro named Abraham
Lincoln, but he no more rescmbled
that great man than chalk does
cheese. If you have seen some cadav
erous fellow whose clothes not Of the
best just hung on him, full Of ma
laria and hoOkworms, with no sug-
gestiOn Of energy, bodily or mentally.
and they called him JOSH" hardly
Uncle Josh for lack of respect, Hay
seed, don't conclude it was that
clever gentleman, no, no. If you
have met some fellow, fairly fair.
who knew nothing Of the destruction
Of the Maine, the Boxer uprising. the
war in the Near East, etc. and they
told you it was Mr.. Josh Hayseed,
don't associate him with Uncle Josh.
Disabuse your mind right now of the
notion that the subject OF this sketch
is anything Of an ignoramus, even
when the matter in hand does not
seem to touch his business, for he is
not. Let me relate an incident that
took place before the War Between
the States. A fearful epidemic Of
yellow fever broke out in Brazil and
Your Uncle Josh happened to he in
came in. Know that when your
Uncle Josh has not got the cash he
has the credit. He got the money
and bought that whole cargo of coffee
reselling at a profit of twenty thous-
and on the transaction.
The average man would only have
chuckled over the fact that the con-
tagion was not at his door. One
might multiply incidents like the
above, but one more will suffice.
When occasion seemed to warrant he
became a cotton buyer, when cotton
was in and around ten cents, holding
his cotton. After a time it began.
when he had quite lot on hand and
all his available cash was gone, to
fall. He held on, borrowing every
cent he could and bought cotton. The
price dropped to six cents, then began
to climb until it went to elevenlwhen
he turned all loose. What are the
facts in the case? All the year he
had watched the crop reports and
judged, quite correctly too, that
small crop had been made. Anybody
with thimble full of brains can sec
the final conclusion. Uncle Josh is
good subject to write on, but | must
close bad as l hate to do So
One final word, gentle reader, if
ever you see hayseed, secdy or
stupid, rest assured it is not your
Uncle Josh.
In my next | shall tell you about
tom Jones'" fine fellow in many
respects but
"HagOOd."
Rembcrt, S. c., Aug. Is, 1913.