The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1913-08-16

summer not AT all,
Yet 20 this fact we're all awake
One apple made a fall
Cincinnati Enquirer.
AppIeton-Your friend Stagely, the
actor, is making an ass Of himself
these days.
Holden-HOw so?
AppletOn-He Is playing Nick Bottom
in the midsummer Nights Dream
Harvard LampOOn.
There was a man In our town.
And he was wondrous wise.
He laid in quite a stock OF goods,
Which he did advertise,
And when he found his goods all sold
With all his might and main
He got another stock OF goods
And did the trick again
-Yonkers Statesman.
Stella-Could you make a martyr Of
yourself by stopping q race horse!
BeIla-NO, but l might walk across
a field with cows at the other end Of
it-New York Sun.
Bend over a little cradle
And the dust OF the day VIII fly;
The grind and burden and battle
Like a hOrrid vision will die.
And there you will find the sunshine.
And there as you bend above
You will learn what II IL 70 halloW
All life with a lasting love.
Baltimore Sun
CO-ed-Oh. Mr.. SpOoper. you have no
idea how much 1t meant to me when
you kissed me hast night
Mr.. SpOOner-Reailyy I won IS on II
myself.-New Orleans Tines-DemO-
crat.
When we have made our way among the
throng
We know that 1t was due unto our
pluck
But when the other fellow gets along
We're just as sure II only was his luck
-LIpplncOtt'E
Eyes, sir. I have Just graduated
from Halevard"
'T can OIer you eight plunks per
week"
"And 1 was valedictOrian Of my
class"
an that case PH make it nine."-
Kansas City Journal.
I'd like to be a rich man
And with The rich men ride,
A long white road before me,
A chauffeur by my side
But when the road Is broken
And brakes refuse to work.
I'd rather be a poor man I
And work here like Turk.
Denver Republican !
The fair stenographer wore a slashed
skirt.
They spoke Of her as a visible type
writer.-Newark News. 1
Don't talk to me OF chickens
That strut along the street;
] know a kind that's better far,
More tempting and more sweet
A chicken that can win and hold
The love OF any man
The kind that makes that sizzling sound
When frying In the pan. I
Louisville Post.
Teacher-what is the derivation Of
the word lunatic?
Pupn-Luna, the moon, and-er-er-.
attic, the upper stOry.-Town Topics.
Little tender squeezes.
Now and then a kiss.
Fin q summer evening
Brmming fun Of bliss
Liza-when yer gOin' ter git married,
Polly, my dear?
POlly-NeYer.
LiZa-Why?
PoIly-weIl, yer see, I won't marry
Bill wen e amt sober, and e wOn't
marry me wen e is.-LondOn Taller.
Corns DO not seem 70 worry msa
When they have other ms.
For they do lots Of kicking when
They have TO fo0t the bills.
Cincinnati Enquiries.
Amateur Camerist-Here's q photo
graph took Of myself. What do you
think Of It?
Miss Bright examining it)-The ex-
preston Is very glum. You shouldn't
take yourself 30 seriOusly.-BOstOn
Transcript.
This 4 the weather when the ice cream
brick
Appeals to Mauds and Nay and sads
and Sal
Whoss escorts learn that the arithmetio
Was right IN saying. -Four quarts to
one gal"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Who e that man who Il gesticulat-
ing 50 frantieaIly 70 be recognized BY
the chairman
Il don't know bis name, but be y q
carpet manufactures"
Then BY al means let him have the
door. s-Baldmore American
M perverss hen q hard 20 beaE
Consarn her pesky Wayi
She always ambles home % eat
'AnE goes NEXT door 10 lay.
Kansas CITY Journal
washington threw q dollar ac1Oss
the Potomac"