davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
rHE Frat

Il has taken q n%auseating scandal
in high life to open the eyes OF Kan
cas- City people to some Of the evils
which may flow from the high school
frat nuisance. Superintendent Thorn
burg Of Des Moines Is quoted as saying
that the Kansas City affair will ma
rerially strengthen public sentiment
against the f~raternities.
It is not at all complimentary to
public intelligence that it Is only after
an explosion like that at Kansas City
has occurred that it can get awakened
a realization of its own duty.
The great Indictment against the
high school frat is that it Is unneces'
sary and that it is a distraction de.
moralizing to the thoughtful and con.
scientious work which ought to mari
the high school period.
Why are frats allowed to exist?
Teachers are opposed to them. School
boards are opposed to them. Many
parents are also opposed. II we have
reached that lawless age in which the
child is absolute master Of the situa'
ton then humble confession of the fact
ought to be made. If a measure OF
authority is still lodged with parents,
teachers and school officers then a
showing is long past due.
One of the brightest days IN a well
known Iowa college was when it fired
a large number Of pupils just before
graduation day for a wanton violation
of one Of the rules Of the institution.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
Sidewalk Sketches
Ny Howard L. Ram
MATCHES.

The match is q small, o%ne-legged
explosive which can be carried In the
vest pocket for years without igniting
the wearer Of the vest, but which in
the hands of a small boy with a corn
silk cigarette becomes as dangerous
as y bonfire in a dynamite factory. 1t
is a very insignificant looking object,
but Is really of more value to the
human race than the electric egg
beaten or the reversible pancake
skillet.
Matches are made Of allow grade Of
sulphur and a high grade Of hope, and
can usually be lighted easily after the
fourth attempt. They are so construct
ed that when they are struck on any
thing but the seat of a pair of blue
serge trousers they will leave a long,
ragged footprint, which cause every
several hair in the head Of a neat
housewife to stand erect. II you enter
a house in which none Of these foot
prints is discernible, you can tell at
once who wears the pants In that
home. Many a man has started out in
married life by striking matches on
the sideboard and q white enameled
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

prohibition. Laws X IL an OF
Tense to drink spurious liquors any,
where in the country are contemplated
and there Is a reasonable chance that
they will be adopted.
Prime Minister Staaff, in a recent
address before a congress Of tetotallers
in Stockhilm, declared that prohibition
was the only effective means Of pre-
venting drunkenness. All other at.
tempted methods Of reform, he said,
had proved ineffective and insufn.
cient to stop the evil.
The prime minister's speech is con
sidered an indication Of the govern
policy, and Is believed to fore
shadow the Introduction into parlia-
ment Of a bill for the prohibition Of all
spurious drinks In Sweden. Such q
law would command the support Of the
royal family. The king is a strong
temperance advocate, and the crown
Is a total abstainer.
A prohibitory law would be likely to
meet with opposition from France.
Sweden has a big trade in wines and
spirits with France, and she depends
upon the French money market to
finance many Swedish enterprises.
There are fears that the exclusion of
French wines would encounter retalia-
ton from the Paris bourse. A proposal
to increase the duty on wines In 1904
had to be dropped because the French
government protested, and threatened
to bar Swedish consols from the Paris
stock exchange.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
BATTING.

No one familiar with the facts Will
deny that batting public utility cor
porations is q common practice among
q certain class Of politicians seeking
or holding office. But why do the cor
porations continue to act as the FISH
and swallow the bait? The utility con
Germs have it in their power success
fully to resist these subtleties. That
10 the power of publicity established
through a candid, open relationship
with the people whom they serve. It
is always at their disposal. Why do
they not avail. themselves Of it and put
an end to the pernicious batting bust
ness?
Until they do, the corporations can.
not entirely absolve themselves OF
blame and responsibility for existing
evils. Happily the day has daWned
when many fa%r-sighted corporation
managers are embracing this better
a conscious, from actual demon
~stratton, that it is the only method that
will pay in the end. Had it beer en-
ployed consistently from the first,
would there ever have been n con-
siderable demand for public owner
shin OF these utilities ?-Omaha Bee.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

plate rail, only to be tanned by a proud
spirited wife until he couldn't light
his pipe without getting out Of his
chair and hitching one leg toward
the ceiling.
The safety match is q recent in
vention which is designed to protect
the American home and the over
hanging mustache. It comes in q
box which is always up side down
when you are in a hurry, and is ig-
nited by being struck in the face by
the box. The life Of the average
safety match Is onesixteenth. part
Of a second. and If a man is agile
it won't take over twelve OF them
to light a cigar. These matches are
furnished free by the sleeping car
companies, so that patrons will not
scratch their initials on the rose
wood surroundings.
Matches are borrowed more often
than anything else except trouble.
The only time a man Is out Of
matches Is when he is on q fishing
or hunting trip, when he Is obliged
to light one cigar from the other
until all he can see Is a giddy pro-
cession Of shooting stars. .
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

e. w. Vance Of Oklahoma 10 Visiting
the Bert Rounds home this week.
Father Walsh. who has been quite Ill
with typhoid fever the past week IL
improving.
The Misses Bessie, Mae and blanche
Burdano are visiting near Selection.
W. J. Berry Of Frederick is BUSH
ness caller here.
Otto stout left for wyoming. He will
go by way Of Bethany. Nc. III
Mary Fox of Hynes IL q business
caller in the city.
Mrs. John Alsup Of Lovtlia who.has
been visiting her daughter Mrs. Ray
Robinson, returned home.
Maud Jones has returned to her
duties az stenographer at the StrasS-
burger store after q very
camping trip. !,
with typhoid fever.
Edythe Henderson Of Lovilia IL
business caller in this city.
Edna Tucker loft for the west whers
she will spend her vacation.
Mrs. John Carr Of Lovilia - visiting
relatives here.
Jennie Nederman OF Lovilia Is q
business caller here.
MI. and Mrs. Neal Miller Of Foster
are visiting friends here.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

shippers all around. Manufacturing
Will now have as good q chance at
Keokuk az It does at Quincy, Hannibal
OF st. Louis. Rates will NO longer be
for the benefit OF the big cities and
at the expense Of the country. 1t
means a growth and development Of
Iowa that would otherwise have failed.
Sioux City Journal: A notable gain
for woman suffrage was made In st.
Joseph the other day when q petition
to prohibit smoking on the street cars
was referred by the company to the
local federation OF women's clubs. The
club women made q hit by agreeing
with virtual unanimity that there Was
no good reason for depriving the men
of the privilege OF smoking on the
rear platforms. The moral Is that
women who are smart enough to meet
an emergency like that are smart
enough to vote side by side with the
men on all questions.
Grundy Democrat: The threatened
raise Of taxes on Iowa real estate has
come. It came as q result OF the agita-
ton Of Governor Clarke and the state
executive council at Des Moines. The
raise was uncalled for, 1t is unjust and
1t is unnecessary. There was no de-
mand from any section Of Iowa for the
raise. The job was framed up at Des
Moines. The people who pay the taxes
were not consulted. II Governor Clarke
had made the raising OF taxes an issue
in the campaign last fall he would
have been showed under SO deep that
none of his friend would have known
he was in the race.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

No banking or currency bill can be
80 framed that 1t will overcome condi-
tions created by destructive tariff
legislation. Men do not a to put
money into a business that has been
rendered Improbable by reaso OF
sales conditions-low interest rates to
a firm will do no good II goods cannot
be sold.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
the MULHALL CHARGES.

When the law of evidence as inter
preted by the courts is applied to the
testimony given by Martin NJ. Mulhall
before the senate lobby committee,
and would call for no answer in an
ordinary trial. A party to a law suit
cannot manufacture his W evidence.
He cannot prove his case by his own
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

must be thinking or"
Very we'll; we won't discuss Tia
matter further"
Il should hope not"
II was a pretty cold parting when
certain happenings both would have
later. The husband had seen a brace.
let that he wanted to buy for tho
wife, and to get the price he had
made a bet on the races. II was Z
sure thing. but he lost by yards.
Then some one called his attention to
the fact that he was getting bald
headed and he was 90 mad about l:
that he gritted his teeth. Again the
nickel that he depended on to get him
home IN the street car turned out to
be a base and low-down coin, and he
was not only Inundated before men
but had to walk a mile and a half.
Meanwhile the young wife was hav.
ing he rtroubles. The telephone went
dead; the grocer's boy had a fight and
was delayed an hour getting patches
and plaster; she burned her hand,
and the pet hen she had raised from
a chick started out to beat . neigh.
boris rooster at growing and fell over
as dead as q door nail. The old chap
with the cloven hoofs had the way
all paved and sprinkled for the hne
evening.
The wife had half admitted to her.
self during the day that she had made
q mistake in the country, but when
the husband sat down to his dinner
vryN&A r = uvrn0Nn ~ A~NH ..-~AA>-AAw 49,
half pity she could not resist saying:
well, do you know any more about
tea and coffee growing than you did
this morning?"
1T wasn't necessary for me to
learn any more" was his reply.
II didn't know that / was marry.
ing such a wise man."
II have known for q long time that
bananas were not dug out OF the
ground"
Then it's Just as father warned
me-"
And as mother warned me"
Hugh, ! have always said ! would
live with a stubborn mule Of .
husband a week after finding him :
out"
Make a change Of sex and its tho
SOly tuAu6 ! Vo SAUL .s
"Then-then-"
AS you will"
1t wasn't fair to put the burden on
she had departed from his house and
doors and went to his mothers.
No talk about divorce. No agres
ment OF separate. One fall day. three
raN~Hhc !. 1nkor va x1SkhN,Nk H.,~haA nnA
wife having met meanwhile, Hugh
nee in which he was employed and
to the sidewalk and trample ome
waiting an instant. Hugh dashed for4
ward and flung people out Of the
path, and. az the frenzied horse
its bride. There was Q shout a.
eyes he was lying on Z cot IN the shos-.
him. She had . patch OF plaster over
a cut on her forehead. but was tSEnti.
ing bravely. \
whats happenedr he asked.
we made ounces Of ourselves dis-
RUJI06 0UVuk tO0 OAN SOAOO' va Eyts&sSSe
Eyes, we did" fAs
"And like two kids we went home
to pa and ma"
"Just like kids" ra
"And was on the street whenSa
runaway horse took to the sidewalk
~ remember" I s
"And I was one Of the half.doxeu
m you threw ver the curbstone
to save them"
"And you got a CUT" s,
"1t's nothing. You were knocked
down and have q broken arm" ~
Eyes, It begins to hurt. And now"
"Say, dear; wantsto tell you that.
/ don't care a snap whether ten and
coffee grow on q stump or q big oak
tree"
Nor !, either" ~ t1Es
Lets 90 home and be sensible and,
loving and happy"
Amen! Call carriage and look
out a little for that arm when you
hug mel" .s 81
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Pupils in a German school were
recently tested al to their reading Of
newspapers. In the highest elemen-
tary class of forty-four. twenty-five
read a newspaper every day; Is at
least once a week: and 4 less fire.
Quently.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Attorney General Cosson Is trying
to show the court that a lien OF your
property that will cause 1t to be sold
unless the said lien ia paid before a
specified date, is not a debt. Never
theless it will take money to pay the
far gos
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Kindergartens in Worcester, Mass,
cost on an average $31.56 per pupil for
the year; elementary grades, cost
$34.O1; high school, $66.50.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

New Nursery Rhyme.
Pease porridge very damp,
Pease porridge cold.
That's the kind you get in camp,
So we're told.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

New York and New Jersey are 30
busy fighting the mosquitoes that they
haven't time to think about the Mex
lean war.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

The Webb (footed) Kenyon law can
now swim. 1t has been swimming In
Ottumwa all the time.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
Busy Lawmaker.

Where are you going, senator? You
seem busy"
ri am busy. Got to take this pack
age Of soil v to the agricultural de-
partment to be assayed, than I must
send some seeds to n Of my con-
%stituents. and find some summer
boarders for q man who says he voted
for me last fall."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

cry it is 10 per cent. and on wagons
20 per cent. Higher payments on
wagons and machinery are required
because Of depreciation In their value.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

There is a prospect that Sweden
O may be placed under national
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
IncontrovertIble Proof.

Ia-I. -
The reading class was In session and
the word "furlough" occurred. Miss
Thatcher, the teacher, asked II any lit
tie boy or girl knew the meaning Of
the word.
One small hand was raised and
shaken vigorously. .#..s
"Furlough means a mule" said the
child.
ooh, no, II doesn't" said the teacher.
"Yes, ma'am," insisted the little
girl; Il have the book at home that
says So"
Miss Thatcher told the child to bring
the book to school. The next morn
ing the child came armed with a book
and triumphantly showed a picture of
an American soldier, riding a mule,
under which was printed:
Going home on his furlough."-New
York Post.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
10 . quarter. That ought to buy ive
or ok papers Of pins"
Rural journalism.

mural JoOVUavtoVUs ".
THE editor Of the Plunkville Pal
ladium seems to be popular In the
community"
Yes; he'll omit an advertisement
any time to print local poetry"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
WorkIno At His Job.

.1.G H# "oVNsUU ~ VVU SoSs
Governor william C. Mcdonald Of
New Mexico remarked at q recent
banquet that no matter how serious
the predicament he may be In the
average American rarely ever forgets
his sense of humor.
Some time ago, the governor said.
a burglar was caught in the act OF
adding to his riches in one Of the
big cities and arrested. On the fol-
lowing morning he wa hailed before
q magistrate.
$50 your name Is JONES'" said the
magistrate, asking the usual ques-
ton. "Have you any occupation?
"Yes sir" was the unruffled re.
Spouse Of the burglar. II am a lock.
smith by trade, yer honor"
"A locksmith, chi" repeated the
magistrate. What were you DOING
when the police entered the house,"
Working at my trade, yer honor.
promptly answered the burglar. Il
was making q bolt for the door,"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
pleasuroe 81 The Rich.

Pteasurss 81 the Rich.
MRS. Van Million 10 back from
Europe
And what ID she pulled up about?''
Seems she smuggled In two pack
ages Of foreign cigarets."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Interested Parties.
Anybody object to the pardon OF
this murderer inquired the COVER
nor.
Nobody but the florists" answered
his secretary.
II see; they have sold a lot OF flow
ers for him. But I cant let them hold
up the pardon. There'n be other mur
derers along"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Perfectly Natural.
There's q fellow who is hoping for
a crop failure"
That seems unusual. What has he
sown?"
wild Oats"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Weird Work.
What's this; volcano In action?"
mo"
Town on fire?'
mo, no; still life. Piece OF buckle.
berry pie, painted by . cubist."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
A Few Laughs.

Two Paintings.
I sadly think of Bosco Beach
Where things were fine.
there l parted from a peach
Named Emmaline.
The saddest portion must be told
In doleful tones.
there | parted from q cold
Two hundred bones.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
Comlna Alonn.

Coming Along.
promised you some early vege-
tables in May, didn't II"
"You did,
well, be patient. My tomatoes
will soon be ripe"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Those Wabbly Canoes.
What made the canoe tip over?"
"Cholly carelessly placed his pipe In
one side Of his mouth"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14
The stay-at-H Homes.

The Stay.at-Homes.
The mountain peak at twelve a week
Is worth the price.
The ocean spray at two per day
Is very nice.
The forest pool is deep and cool.
The beach is fine.
All mankind loves the shady groves
OF fir and pine.
But beds are good and so If food
At home, we find.
lack some things that travel
brings,
But we don't mind.
Safest Way.
There's q man went around the
world without tipping"
That's the only way to work it
comfortably. You don't have to come
back over the same route"
Business Blocked.
Thought you were going away to-
day"
Nonsense. The ticket Office is new.
er closed"
mo; but there was a girl at the
window ahead Of me-"
A Liberal Man.
It was the brides first request for
money.
Il must have some pin money
said she.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Cedar Rapids Republican: With
women wearing less and less why does
not the cost Of high living come down
more rapidly? Will women have TO
omit all clothes in order to really re-
duce the cost of living?
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Kansas City Journal: Governor
Hodges regrets to report that no re.
duction can be made in the Kansas
tax rate this year. 1t may comfort
the governor to know that his report
is not at all Disappointing Nobody
expects tax reduction under q demo-
cratic administration in Kansas or
else.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-08-14

Washington Press: What are the
serious disturbances which these rate
cases will cause? In the first place
they will take off several million dol
lars per year OF railroad revenue. In
the next place they give the shipper Of
Iowa almost an equal chance with the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-14

almost fearful and husky as he asked, "Say Didn't
you find no package in the peter with my it,?
The former police official leaned back and much
appreciated the joke that his "litte round belly wab
bled like jelly" he roared out his mirth. He
banged the open desk with his fat hand and threatened
to run cadenza of examinations.
"But, say he said, when he Skaggs grow white
and lean weakly back against the imitation mahogany
partition, "you amt in earnest, are you Bill?"
The burglar nodded weakly.
"Naw the want nothin' here for you! Of course
not you big crook" the exoficer snarled, with
plete and belligerent change of attitude. "You
around here and try to start somehn, and III have
you framed and sent over"
Skaggs suddenly let out loud "Ha! Hal Got you
that time, Capt. and in his turn seemed convused with
laughter over his own joke
Meggs swore it was a good one, and that the drinks
were him; but Skaggs hand trembled he gulped
a full glass of liquor the BAR and then slid
quietly into the night. He far too wise to
plain have trouble with the police He had trouble
enough, anyway.
RLINK, he said looking up at the stars he sat de-
jectedly a bench in Union Square, Blink old
boy don't think I'm layn it up you. You wouldn't
double me! 1t the bulls that done it. They
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-14

from their posts, holding up autocratic hands,
ing them to speed the stream along He fatered
in his progress oitered until far up the residence
section where dwet the ordly plutocrats of the city
Here the houses isolated, though dsdain
ing to be osed by their neighbors, and stood per-
peually struggling their shoulders at being compelled
to associate with such. Gardens thanked them, where
delicate slmbered in winter overcoats and beds
of precious plants sheltered by roofs. Yet he
thought not of that, knowing that root in the
ground could be sold for something envied by
one, while human things like and women and
little children not objects of barter, envy
No one earth would have given a dollar for Skaggs,
had he been displayed bargain counter and marked,
@Sx feet high. Exceptionally strong frame and splen-
didly muscled Never betrayed friend, and will prove
faithful if given chance
Now he began to peer about him and to look for the
CLINT of light stray brass button. His step
became slower and unconscously his 1.-THE muscles lent
themselves to stealthy gait. He crossed the street
and srank into gateway to stare at of the mina
ture palaces across the street
"That's it, he said to himself. "That's the place
got into by clainin to be the plumber. Parlors and
DRAWN rooms and dinn rooms downstairs. Sleepn'
rooms and ries and such second floor. Nusser-
les and hunks the third and hired folks top
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-12-14

were actually worth just three dollars and ninety-nine
cents; but he turned himself loose telling what
Santa Claus might bring this fifth fight up There
would be wonderful toys-thngs that run when you
wound 'em up; things that would fly round the room
like Glenn Curtss in his machine; things that would
crawl like snake, but were harmless dolls that could
talk and sing, and play tunes in their little insdes.
And so, fancy free, the burglar made himself charm
ing because a chubby hand in his, and because he
felt sorry for anyone in strait jacket made of steel
ATE that night he sailed forth from his As
- he hurried through the shopping crowds he wished
that he dip for the time being there being many
plethoric pockets abroad in the of enptying
themselves. Straight away to the west he bore,
devating hawk in pursuit of prey; but keeping
cynical wary eye to right and left from habit although
feeling comparatively free from danger because as he
bravey asserted to himself, "The bulls really have
nothin' right now,' although they might watch
any man who had been "mugged' Skaggs intent
doing unusual thing. He was going to draw
money and go shopping, just like other folks and
filled with glorious, Intoxicating, Christmas spirit.
At intervals for years, he had intrusted his savings
blackly gained, with former celnate who had re-
formed, and now, having dropped somewhat from
grace, threatened to become Alderman. Snugly re-