davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
COULDN'T CORNER tn QuAck
Very Evident Ne Was Used 70 Getting
Into and squirmino Out Of *
ceedin0ly Tight Places.

A correspondent Of the Lancet tells
Of a man who, when he went to a
"quack" and complained Of . sharp
pain in the loins aftereitting on damp
grass for some hours. during which
he frequently sucked the point OF the
lead pencil with which he was writ
ing, was told that he was suffering
from '.plumbism," and given some
pills. The next day he returned to
the "Quack" and said:
You told me l had .plumbism,
which is lead poisoning and ! now
find there is no lead in lead pencils.
only graphite Of plumbago."
"Oh," replied the "quack," airily.
did l say plumbism is the cause of
your lumbism? l meant to have said
plumbago is the cause Of your !um-
bago"
'Oh," said the man. but anyhow,
your pills are only bread"
"Of course" replied the "quack."
Don't you know that break is the old
est and finest thing to remove pencil
marks WITH"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Blamed II on Medicine.

Seasickness affects people different
ly. but it is doubtful if many accept it
in the spirit manifested by certain
small sinner who. by reason bf his
poor health. had been subjected to
various kinds Of unpleasant medical
treatment. Fafrchild was taken out
for an ocean sail, with direful, conse-
quences. He kept silence as long as
he could. but at last even his good
nature revolted. Between paroxysms
he angrily addressed his mother.
Il told you never. never again to
give me medicine without telling me
about it. I'd lots rather know when
I'm going to be sick!" T:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

Some OF these associations
look to physical development,
others to mental and moral.
and still others to both. In
a little book prepared by an
association Of the last named
class. the writer recently
found this statement: par
ents are as much responsible
for the selfishness Of their
children as they are for their
existence" This rather en-
phatic statement led to quite
a discussion of the matter
with the mother Of several
children, who told the writer
that she had been engaged
ever since her first born In
combating selfishness and
developing generous impulses
in her children. In relating
her experiences she. told this
little story:
AT this, season of the year
my children got into the habit
of expressing their desires
for particular Christmas gifts.
l did not tell them that il
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20


girls they would receive these gifts rather tried i'm
press upon them the idea that they did ask
more than they should receive, that is selfish.
they might get them. With this admonton coupled
the idea that Santa Claus needed help especially reach
ing the pocr the sick and the unfortunate. told my
children to help Santa Claus all they could and
year they have managed to discover child
some sick unfortunate boy girl for whom they
provided gifts In thus helping Santa Claus they have
found so much pleasure that they have quite forgotten
their own desires beyond the expression of
They have at least curbed their seshness and think
that have led them to be generous to extent"
In this womans experience lies more Of practical
value than be found in all the books that pub
shed by all the associations in christendom She got
the root OF the whole matter and she applied the proper
remedy-a remedy that did directly curb that did
not punish but effected by ndirection the very result
that she wished to bring about How many parents
today treating the seishness their children in the
same way? How many need to treat their children
same way? And how many can easily begin by
encouraging their children to help Santa Claus?
My ideal Christmas: Home the country. snow. holly,
Christmas tree, carols faces and fond hearts
about you.-Mrs Brown-Potter
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
OF and On.

Save when you're young" The
speaker. John D. Rockefeller, Jr., was
addressing Y. NJ. c. A. meeting in
Cleveland
Save when you're young" repeated
Mr.. Rockefeller. with a smile. The
years will pass swiftly. Then, when
you find yourself well on, you'll also
find yourself well of"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
signature essss ss ., lf7zzzzzzx
In Use For Over 80 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
cassandra caddie.

Miss Gladys Ravenscroft, the new
golf champion, was talking in Whining
ton about the royal games difficult
ties.
when l began to play" she said. Il
had crusty old Scot for caddie. After
had worked very hard for some
months asked this crusty old Scot
one day:
We'll, Saunders. how am I getting
on?'
Saunders answered grufly:
Yer no maxim fool O. yersel, but
yell never be a gawfer'"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Missed the Flood Story.

Sir William Treloar recently told a
story of a servant who was once EN-.
ployed at his Cripples' Home at Alton,
says the Taller. One day during lunch
time there was a heavy downfall Of
rain. and Sir William said to the little
maid who was waiting at table, why,
Lizzie, it is almost like the food"
THE flood, Sir William" said the
girl. Yes. the food. Noah. you
know. and Mount Ararat" II never
have no time to look at the papers"
she replied alphabetically.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
You need a new hat. !"

You need a new hat"
\ I'm"
You need . new suit"
I'm"
You need shoes. Man alive. your
feet are ON the ground!"
Quite true" admitted Wombat.
with Z sigh.
:'Then take this weeks salary, and
spruce up"
Cant squander any money on my
SELF. old; man. Ny wife u worse on
than an"
Dear me! How 10 that"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
RISING in His Profession.

Rising in His Profession.
How is your son getting along-1
mean the musical one, who went to
New York city to seek his fortune?"
asked the village parson at Hohokus
Of one OF his parishioners, widowed
mother of a family Of boys.
Fine, sir, thank you." replied the
old dame. Il had a postal card from
him sayin' as how he is conductin'
now.
Indeed, that is excellent news. And
what band is he conducting?"
He didn't say, sir. except that it's
on the Belt line. somewhere around
the river 'front.'
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

sand years ago In fair Bethlehem
For weeks before the festival thou
sands and thousands of trees are
brought by rail and water from the
forests of Thuringia and Mecklen-
burg to the capital where they are
sold by dealers on the public squares
and places. In the last fortnight be-
fore Christmas the trim grass plots
vanish beneath a forest Of Christmas
trees ranged up In endless lines.
each resting on roughly tacked-to-
gether. deal wood stand. And here
from eight In the morning till eight
at night. according to paragraph SO
and SO Of the police regulations. the
millionaire captain Of industry. the
uniformed ohicial, the bespectacled
professor, and the miserably paid.
hungry looking school teacher rub
shoulders. haggling and bargaining
over their Christmas tree. The lat
ter can be had at all prices. from 60
marks for forest king to 60 pfen-
nigs for a stunted dwarf. The one
may be destined to be hung with cor
uscating electric lights and decked
with diamonds for the bankers wife,
the other feebly Illuminated with
farthing dips and miserably tricked
out with a handful of nuts for the
workingman's family. The men on
duty at the electric plant stations on
Christmas eve have their tree. as do
the engine drivers as they sit in their
quarters at the railway yards waiting
for the night shifts.
The soldiers in the barracks, the
sailors at sea, the patients in the
hospitals, the convicts in the prisons.
even the poor. miserable wretches,
the submerged tenth, covering about
the fires in the refugees for the home
less-they all have their Tannen-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Small eoy's Performances.

A pair of engaged lovers had spent
some time on the moonlit veranda
Presently the young lady babe her. WIS.,
itor goodby, and. on her way up to bed.
stepped into the nursery to kiss her
beloved little nephew.
"Auntie," inquired the sleepy but de.
voted urchin, his arms around her,
why don't you make Mr.. Dick smell
like your perfume, stead O. smelling
like his baccy:"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
cettias At the Facts,

GettiM0 at the Faets.
A witness in q particular case had
been examined by the lawyer for the
plaintiff and was turned over to the
lawyer for cr0ss-examination.
Now. then. Mr.. Smith," began the
legal one. what did understand yen
to say that your occupation is?"
am 2 piano fnisher., answered
the witness.
Yes, see. persisted the LAWYER.
but You must be more deiiniAs. Do
you polish them. or do yog noss,
them3.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
R00FlNGS

We believe that we carry the largest
stocks OF roofings in the south. IN painted
and galvanized Steel. rubber and compo-
sition. in all prices. from Soc per square.
complete, and up. Try .'Paroid." the
King Of Rubber Roofing. Ten years with
out brush. Pidgeon-Thomas Iron Com
pany, Iron, Steel. Railway and Mill Sup
plies. Memphis. Tennessee. Adv.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Hi. Sensible Attitude.

rs you comm to pra'r meetin' to-
night, Brud' Dinger?" inquired old
Parson Gagster.
"Well-uh, no, sab! reggin not" was
the reply. ITO tell de troof, pahson.
rs Amin to go to de minstrel show
done got Complementary ticket"
"Brud' Dinger, dar won't be no min
strel shows in heaven"
Den, If OATS de case. sab, I'm sho'
gwine tonight. whilst muh tickets
od!"-Judge
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

FAR BETTER THAN QUININE.
Elixir Babek cures malaria where
quinine fails, and 1t can be taken with
impunity by old and young.
Having suffered from Malarious Fee
yer for several months. getting no re-
lief from quinine and being completely
broken down in health. 'Ellxie Babek'
+. MARI.
Elixir Babek, SO cents. all drugEists. or
kloczewskt 4 Co. Washington. DC. Adv.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Sir Robert RalI.

In the death of Sir Robert Ball ct
the age Of seventy-three science loses
one of those rare interpreters who
bring her wonders within the compre-
hension of the multitude. Like the
late Lord Avebury (Sir John Lub
bock). Sir Robert Ball had faculty
for simple writing which he employ
ed in the production OF such works
as THE Story Of the Heavens Star
land" In Starry Realms and I'm
the High Heavens" These books prob
ably did more than any other OF the
kind to stimulate the study Of astron-
omy and make 1t popular The people
of this generation owe q large debt
to Sir Robert Ball. The debt was
freely acknowledged in his own coun-
try, where he received substantial rec
ognition from the government, from
scientific societies. from schools and
universities. II has been less freely
but still sufficiently acknowledged in
this country. where his books have
sold well, and where he was q most
welcome and appreciated guest on
more than one occasion
EAGLE.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Trainino Down Daddy.

1Tastt1H9 0oWH Od00y.!
Ethel declare, Elsie, how well
your father looks. He belongs to that
downtown business mems gymnasium.
doesn't he?"
Elsie-Not daddy. Dads more up to
date than that. Mother an we girls
talked him into joining Miss Martins
tango class, and the Improvement
has been simply wonderful.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
So Cheerful.

Uncle Josh-Here's q letter from
Nephew Henry, that's gone to Africa
says within 20 rods Of his house
there's family O. laughing hyenas.
His Wife-Well. I'm glad Henry's
got pleasant neighbors, anyway-that's
something!
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20


uees IN the windows Of the gabled houses
some oO years ago. before the German giant had
awakened from the sleep of centuries idea of
peacelu German Christmas But the
ougners Of old Berlin returning making Christ
mas purchases on Christmas transplanted
INTO the roaring hub Of empire which his Haupstadt
the good man would probably expire the spot
FIFTY years ago. when Berlin was a dirty UMPIRE
tentous. provincial town. with illighted illpaved
streets with population renowned those days
LOT s suriy manners and uncouthness and with the
hand OF mfarism unchecked it all, Christmas
FESTIVAL was the tranquil celebration of which
read In the Lustgarten. before the castle Christmas
far was annually established which the king royal
family used to visit to buy jumping jacks and ginger
bread for the palace Christmas like any
man family The Lustgarten fair has passed away the
king Of Prussia has become German emperor
developed into fair and beautiful city, and all that
mains OF the Christmas Of upon spirit
indeed precious inheritance. That still holds
preme sway and rests concealed in the branches
myrads Of Christmas trees which rich and poor alike
up In their homes on the eve of the feast
Otherwise the old German simplicity has vanished.
In the house Of the rich merchant electric lights take
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
I11zz
The
for the Rural
Business Man.

:; =: :: : :;
a.vR ...;.. If you are writing
Lsas Wsssiss your letters and bills
by hand, you are not getting. full
efficiency.
1t doesn't require an expert oper-
ator to run the L. C. Smith 8 Bros.
typewriter. It is simple, compact.
complete, durable.
Send in the attached coupon and
we will give especial attention 10
Jour typewriter needs.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Milk for Gloves.

A simple and effective way to clean
Kid gloves Is to draw them on the
hands and go over them with a clean
cloth dipped In .skim milk. Wear them
until quite dry. Or .naolsten small
sponge or piece Of cloth in skim milk.
ruo It ON . cake Of CASTLE soap and
WIN this sponge the gloves. untf1 they.
are quite clean. Wear until they are
dry.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
BAD for Dent;.%e

"How are those two young men who
went into partnership as dentists get
ting on?"
Rather badly. Somehow they don't
seem to pull together.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
RUB-MY-TlSM

viii cure your 2heumatism and all
kinds OF aches and pains-Neuralgia,
Cramps. Collie, Sprains, Bruises. Cuts.
Old Sores, Burns. etc. Anttseptic
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

nue-or better. on Broadway. between
Twenty-eighth street and Forty-eighth
street, ct p. m. The wearer would
receive Z real ovation.-Ffom The
Ones window" In the New York Mail.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

beginning Of December till the feast they devote con-
siderable portion of their Christmas bazars
where imagines ones self transported to Toyland
There tremendous pieces with electric trans. air
ships and railway trains careerng about amid wonderful
paper mache mountain scenery ravshng Visions Of fair
,Aollwomen and army corps army of the most
gallant tin soldiers that manned fort The air is
with earspltting cacophony of noise emitted by
mechanical and the atmosphere reeks with the smell
shavings and glue that peculiar pungent odor OF the
toy shop which brings back the old fogies the yster
GUS delights Of the birthday table.
On Christmas every German must have his
Christmas When passes through the streets
on wet Christmas evethe sparkling frost and snowy
mantle Of the feuilletonst rarely put in
before Januaryone has the curious feeling being
the midst Of of people all engaged in doing the
thing One can imagine the traveller looking the
thousands Of Mohammedans laboriously threading
across the desert Of Mecca to win the title OF Had
regarding the scene with similar emotions. For when
say every German. it is literally true. The OF
Berlin deserted for the and omnibuses
cabs and occasional policeman and from behind the
blinds Of the windows the candles the Christmas trees
throwing their little beams into the darkness
night did the star to the shepherds nearly thou
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Misunderstood.

Miss Goodrich hear your husband
is great lover Of the esthetic.
Mrs. Nurich-Oh, yes! He takes
one every time he gets his tooth pull
ed.-StanforL Chaparral.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
IS Year. Aoo

Frey's vermifuge was first made
Since then thousands of mothers in
this section have constantly relied on
1t as the most effective worm medi-
cine in the market. 25c. at all deal
ers.-Adv.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

Speaking IN q Business Way.
Don't you think that play Of yours
10 little risque?"
Yes replied the manager. IT
you can get = play that 4 risky
enough, you We got sure thing"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
philanthropy.

+ feel pretty good today said
Jones to his wife. Il saved a man
nom lifelong misery.
How vas that r
NY assistant wants to get married
ana asked for ! raise. But | vouldr' I
give It 20 him.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
A Test.

Hubble, dear, do you love me
still?"
IF you'd only be still. my dear, !
could tell you better"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

The Oh Sfandard
Groves 7a8f0l688
chill Tonic

Is Equally Valuable 6slAd She4blllg Tonic. beus les d 90
Liver; Drives OFT alaa Eaeas3 To Bleed lIl Builds up IL Whale Son
7ou what taking chill Tonic .
the formula printed LABEL allowing that ns the wlnown
tonic properties QuNE and IRON has equal or Mia c and
Fever Weakness General Debility Lo Appetite Gives life and sigr
Nursing Mohs Pale siy Children True and Sure Arpz
For people and children Druggist We meant M
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

They stop the tickle Deans Ncntho.
lated Cough Drops stop coughs by stop.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
HELPING SANTA CLAUS.

Within few years there have organized
associations whose purpose is to assist parents
ally mothers in the proper development Of their children
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
COLDS 4 laGRIPPE

or doses 666 will break any case
Of Chills & Fever, Colds & LaGrippe;
it acts on the liver better than Gallo
mel and does not grippe or sicken.
Price 25c.-Adv.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA. a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

She needs new feather in her
hat. Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

Potatoes in Greenland do not grow
larger than an ordinary marble.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

place OF the Christ candles"
and the motor car or the
steam yacht which he gives
his son as q Christmas pres
ent can find no place under
the Christmas tree, as did the
WOODEN comforter, the hand
full Of gingerbread. or the
new skates In the day of his
father. Caruso or Destinn on
the gramophone take the
place Of the Christmas hymns
which used to be sung as an
act Of pious reverence to the
'Tannenbaum." or perhaps
even, horrible dictu, the tree
will be fastened to q clock
work contrivance which. on
being wound up, revolves to
q tune tangled out by q
musical box. The bullying
one-storied shops with ginger
bread and gilt angels stuck
in their diamond-paned win
dow fronts have vanished.
and their places are taken by
stores built on the same style
or palataial magnificence as
~rrncu Tho flaufir Ernm he
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

HE Anglo-Saxon notion Of the German
Christmas Is drawn from childhood hours
spent over Hans Andersen and Grimm and
the sight Of q Christmas tree brings to
mind the woodcutter tramping home
through the snow-laden forest, trailing be-
hind him the fir tree for his family Christ
mas celebration. while, in the towns. the
black quadrangle of the venerable market
Mace iS nickad olf II, lirhAc hla zinn ar, tho
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20
Accounting To- II.

Accounting See Il
How very sti6 those new Dsoplsl
ara"
Yes; they made their money 81
starch
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1913-12-20

Humorous Department.
''Whatswill Ne do at the-dance IL the
chaperOn won't let us Boston,.
That's easy. Wen just grin and.
bear II. "-Mfnneeota, Minuehxha.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1913-03-14

sest you dress your hair in back with
bouffant effect. | can describe II
better by saying up and out" In
psyche effect. With this style the
hair Is parted In front or directly OH
one side then drawn together SO that
the part Is not noticeable. A new
revival OF the pompadour Is worn IN
a fiat pompadour pushed toward the
face with a comb. The coronet braid
Is worn around the head, resembling
thick cable cord, and IL held In
place with fancy pins.
! forgot to mention that some ultra
smart women powder their hair with
a perfumed rice powder and wear a
patch on the cheek to accentuate the
brilliancy OF the eye. or course this
head dress Is only for evening wear
and Is simply fad.
ping these suggestions will be
O. rrvice 10 YOU when next you At
temQt TO dress your crown OF glory,
am, Yours very truly.
CATHERINE.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1913-03-14
PUPILS TO BE GIVEN
PHYSICAL EXERCISES

The Board OF Education Thursday
night. empowered the superintendent
TO order a three-minute period OF phys
zeal exercise for all school children, in
both morning and afternoon sessions
during which the windows OF the
school rooms are 10 be thrown open.
By the same resolution, the rooms are
to be aired during recess, and for an
hour on Saturday.
The question of books lost from the
night schools. caused considerable
discussion. Inspector Small said that
the night school teachers should pay
for all books which the inventory
showed We're missing Several night
school principals told the board thai
no suitable book cases were provided
and that the teachers could not be
made responsible for the books. The
matter was laid over for two weeks.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1913-03-14
I|l|A|| EI}blR2R||

tresses. The wayy locks are brought
out 10 a line with the eyebrows, while
in front the hair is drawn way down
over the ehcad-sometimes deli
cate fringe. which you might call "A
bang" is worn.
The new styles are re lily COPIED
from the head dresses worn by beau'
ties centuries ago. suggestions are
taken from old pictures by famous ar
lists. One can easily arrange an at
tractive coiffure with ones own sup
ply. II switch Is worn II Is inter
laced in the hair so as not to De
noticeable. Only light weight switches
about 80 inches long are used.
Fortunately for you, your hair mas
natural wave. because large loose
waves with no special depth. but
rather forming a perfect scallop wei
drawn over the face. IL one of the
latest concelts. For evening wear J
have noticed profusion OF little
curlets nesting against the neck.
The close head dress resembles the
Victorian period. The hair fits the
head like cap and always the con
tour of the head is observed. I'd sug-