Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-03-06
At the End Of the Rainbow.
SWITCHING AROUND.
BY Walt Mason.
BY walt Mason,

TT seems strange that old Clmken-
beard is up against 1t financially In ms
advanced age observed the retired
merchant eve known him many years.
and there isn't a more industrious man
In town, yet things don't seem to pros
per with him.
Its because he never sticks to one
thing, doggone him. said the hotel
keeper. When I first knew him ne
was running a blacksmith shop. he
was the worst blacksmith in the United
States. but people put up with him ano
refrained from shooting him because ne
obviously was doing his best. He tink-
cred along for a year or two, running
the hoofs of most Of the horses and
mules in town, and then he finally did
learn to be fairly good workman, and
Just when public confidence In him was
restored he traded his blacksmith shop
for restaurant.
at would be impossible to know less
about the restaurant business than
Ciinkenbeard knew, but his complaint is
a common one. When a man has failed
at everything else he either opens
restaurant or becomes an insurance
agent. Every farmer in this state has
dreams of moving to town some day
and feeding the multitude at an enor-
nous profit. Ciinkenbeard didn't know
a porterhouse steak from German
pancake. He couldn't tell mince pie
from a smoked ham. And yet he went
into the restaurant business.
He had seven or eight nieces ana ne
drafted them in as mattresses, and they
broke all the dishes. His wife Wen,
into the kitchen as cook, and the Old
ruined good victuals. Shed take q nice
sirloin steak. good enough Tor min.
lister plenipotentiary, and when she had
fried ii for half an hour it looked and
tasted like the sole OF an old overShoe
In about a month Clinkenbeard hadn'
any customers, and had to close up his
joint.
Hes a good carpenter. There ISM
a better one anywhere. but he works al
that trade only when he's broke and has
to carpentering for awhile until he had
some money saved up. and then bought
an interest in feed store. He didn't
know any more about the feed business
than he knew about catering to the
epicures of the town and was always
ordered bran, and mistaking wheat straw
for alfalfa, and customers called at the
store every fifteen minutes and held ar
Indignation meeting: Then one day biz
all the money belonging to the firm. and
Clinkenbeard had to dig up his saw and
plane and go to carpentering again.
when he had. another bundle saved
up he actually came In here and wanted
to buy an interest in this hotel. I tool
him into the basement and talked witt
him half a day trying to convince him
that no hotel could survive his presence
for two weeks. I tried to explain t6
him that successful hotelkeepers arr
born, not made, but 1t was all a waste
of words. He had made up his mind
that he was especially created to be an
urbane and genial landlord, SO he went
over and bought an interest in the Hig-
gins House. which was t0ttering on the
edge of bankruptcy.
Before he had been there three days
all the help went on strike. He wanted
to show the chambermaids how to
make beds, and he lectured the wait
resses on their duties, and fooled around
the cook until she damned him over the
head with a skillet. and he sassed the
porter until that exasperated hirelins
knocked him over with a baggage truck
Then the hotel went broke. and the old
He ran a grocery store for a while and
managed to lose all his customers in q
fortnight. Patrons used to complain
that he used the same measures for
coal oil and molasses and everything he
sold tasted of something else. The cod
fish tasted of onions and onions Of cod.
fish. You can't make him believe that
a man needs special training for any
thing.
lust now he's doing carpenterine
work again. but he was In here this
morning saying he was thinking Of buy
ing millinery store. II you glance
back over his record you'll cease to
wonder that he's up against 1t in his
old age"