davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
MIR. Wilson and the Inaugural Ball.

If the government of the United
States should not be interested in the
well-being and success of the Capital of
this nation. who should be? If Mrs.
Woodrow Wilson's principle of demo-
cratic simplicity is so pronounced that
she objects to the inaugural ball. and
her husband seconds such protest on
the ground of an unnecessary cost to
the government, the President-elect
should take the sentiment of Washing
tonians, who are primarily interested
IN the success of the ball, into due con-
sideration.
While Mr.. Wilson is TO be honored
for his desire to once more institute in
this republic that Jeffersonian simplicity
of which so much has been said and
written, which is absolutely not &C
cording to facts, and of which New
York's new Governor is also so pro-
nounced votary, yet there seems to
Be no reason to begin with it at the
wrong end First Of all the cost to the
government in furnishing the Pension
Office for the ball and "disarranging'
the routine of that bureau, is rather a
small factor, and its material results
would not affect the yearly balance
sheet of its efficiency or expenses. And
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

Benjamin Franklin was an ordinary
man with an extraordinary supply. OF
common sense, who fiourished In the
eighteenth century and Is still regarded
as one OF the finest of American prod
ucts
Franklin was born in Boston, but was
one OF the Jew Boston wise men to sue
ceed in getting away from that city.
His family was not distinguished, and
when he left Boston. after having run
newspaper with more brilliance tnan
success, no committee of city officials
appeared to bid him goodbye
Franklin arrived In Philadelphia with
enough money left to buy two rolls of
bread, and paraded the town wearing
one loaf under his arm and eating the
other. This successfully quarantined
him from Philadelphia society, and he
was enabled to put all his time into the
printing business with such success that
he was sent to London in l24s by the
Governor to get a printing outfit He
worked for eighteen months In a London
printing house and was probably the
most eminent employs that London
journalism ever had. though England
has not yet walked up to this fact
Franklin then returned TO Philadelphia
and purchased the Gazette, which he
began to edit with such success that he
frequently had to spend all day making
change for eager subscribers II might
be well TO mention here that at this
time he was only twenty-three years old.
having been born January II. 17os and
having been a fuil-hedged editor at the
age OF fifteen. Genius often consists In
getting an early start and keeping
started.
At the age of twenty-six Franklin's S
Poor Richards Almanac the sayings
Of wise old man, had the largest cir
culation OF anything printed In the Colo
nies, and people sought his advice on
everything from love to chicken raising.
At the age of thirty-one he was a mem
Der OF the Pennsylvania assembly. At
forty he had diagnosed lightning and had
exhibited the first electricity ever in cap
tivfty In a bottle. having caught 1t with
a kite string and key. He had also
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Extra! Extra! Extra |!

Among the many attractions to
b. offered at the Capital Club to-
night will he the world renowned
Henry NJ. Camp, the "Sweet Singer
of the Ozark Mountains and Silver
tongued Orator Of the Prulctsriat, q"
who will deliver his famous travel
oeIe (hand tooled and bound in
limp leather. entitled He Seen
His Duty and He Doue It" Other
sArs TO twinkle will include Con-
Eressman Sissnn. Arthur Pierce.
Max StAmm. Slim kellsm. A. L.
Dennisnn. and NJ. GoetZingrr. and
a chorus Of 100 beautiful broadway
blonds. Prod. Ruckert will be in
charge Of the sway. rhythm. temper
sment, mood. and presentation Of
the harmonies and melodies Raines
sandwiches will be served between
the acts and Fairbanks cocktails
THOMAS GRANT.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Panama Canal Act Debatable.

Nowhere has the Panama Canal act
exempting American coastwise shipping
from Panama tolls, been more stridently
criticised than in Canada Our neighbor.
to the north are rather given to see
ing negroes in our woodpile. Various
of their jingo newspapers Wed with
the Tory journals of London in criti-
cism of what they chose to term a
breach OF national honor.
1t is, therefore, agreeable to find ema-
mating from the Dominion a calm dis
cussion of the controversy Mr.. Wal
lace Nesbitt. K. c., one of the foremost
members of the Canadian bar. in an
address before the Canadian Club OF
Hamilton, Ontario, on December 6
said:
I dcprecate the attitude taken by SC
many publicists and journalists that the
present position of the United States
is absolutely unwarranted, and, in fact
sordidly dishonest. No one can read
with care the debate in the Senate upon
the Panama Canal bill or the message oi
President Taft recommending the bill
without realizing that if the treaty and
the bill are considered alone and apart
from their previous history and the
surrounding circumstances the question
is debatable.
This kind OF spirit will settle the
problem. Space forbids a review OF
Mr.. Nesbitt's treatment OF the subject
further than TO say that he advocates
arbitration. and agrees with Senator
Root that the Hay Pauncefote treaty
forbids the discrimination in favor OF
American shipping provided by the
canal act. The strength of Mr.. Nes-
bits argument for the British conten-
ton is by no means weakened by his
Acknowledgements of the good faith of
the United States government.
From the past relations of Canada
and the United States. Mr.. Nesbitt
draws one comparison. He said:
When the Welland Canal was built
by Canada, Great Britain promised that
she would use her efforts to secure
that canal open to American as well as
to Canadian commerce on terms OF
equality The Canadian government
passed an act providing for a rebate
to Canadian vessels of part of the
tolls paid by them for the use of the
canal. but President Cleveland object
ed SO strongly to this, asa violation of
the promise of equality, that the act
was withdrawn by order in council.
And that contention of the United
States was put forward in respect of
a mere promise by England to use her
best efforts to secure certain terms,
whereas We are here dealing with the
definite words of a binding treaty.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
True Causes of Unftness.

Much of the underlying inefficiency
of society is the result of physical
causes. The hookworm is not mere
figure of speech in the South. In the
North are kindred diseases which re-
duce the energy OF the nation, and
which science is seeking to analyze in
order TO devise effective means for
their prevention.
The prediction of Harvard's learned
ex-president. Dr. Charles w. Eliot, that
the time will come when preventive
medicine will do away with poverty
and misery, remedy industrial dis
putes. and contribute TO the cause OF
international peace, is only para
phrase of the old maxim, "a sound
mind is a sound body" Without sound
minds the solution of pressing prob
lens presented by growing populations
and by the increasing perplexities OF
civilization is impossible. And the
most effective way to promote healthy
minds is by the creation of conditions
of life which shall work for the con-
servation of the most precious asset
of the human race-its bodily sound
ness.
When the causes of misery and TN
fitness have been determined and iso-
lated, a long stride will have been
taken in the direction along which
civilization, despite many failures, is
marching steadily
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

then, Mr.. and Mrs. Wilson seem to
have overlooked one very important
fact.
1t is not the nation, not the admin
istration, not the departmental machine,
which honors the incoming Chief Ex-
ccutive and his wife by showing them
this attention. but the citizens of Wash
ington. The Presidential pair are the
guests of this city, the citizens are the
hosts, who have literally subscribed to
a large guarantee fund in order to
make the occasion a festive one, a sue
cessful one, and one to be talked of and
remembered as an historical event Of
magnitude throughout the country.
1t is all very we'll for Mr.. Wilson to
wish to go down to history as the man
who inaugurated a renewal of Jeffer-
sonian simplicity "a much-sbused ex-
pression); but the citizens of Wash
ington have a right to be offended at
Mr.. Wilson's disregard of their inten-
tions when desiring to act as his hosts
in manner which in their estimation
behts the occasion.
Distinguished as the incoming Presi-
dent is, and sincerely desirous, as he
may be, for a return of pure demo-
cratic government, is it fitting that he
demand a ruthless abolishment of that
which has been so CRATE
fully received by a long line of illus
trious Presidents, including Democrats,
whose championship of 'Jefersonian
no man dare question?
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

Sticks
effort standard Of the
take notice That Big
thrilling sketch
Chief of the Editorial Division Of the Chamber Of Commerce
Of America the act Of vhsckng
Of Nations Business the oa Of the Chamber Of
&r
at
the fellow. But Grove
make his the
course. wiracking the Nations Business
like Grove Dave in his
he talks nations business the @ A. and other saou places
has Big Sickian
for everybody the world and himself with whom he keeps
out interview the Nations
given him locking
said that what with getting the
Il and getting r the delegates he hadn't time.
what delcgatesi' asked the Big Stick
Delegates o the convention Of the"
We've to Send that by mail" The
ma
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto. Ifyou see it in The Big
Stick. IL ISM necessarily SO.
Declaration of
Independence

Ever since Pres.-ei't Wilson
threat'd trusts & other ''ll-gOtten
wealth enterprises with 4 Whip
in his Chicago speech, the m grs. ot
The Big Stick have been flooded
with requests. especially by its Jsf-
fersouisn. Jacksonian. BIyanite tnOt
to mention Champ Clarkian) read
ers, to change its title TO that a
The Whip" J. +. McTigh and
NJ. c. Daily. Of Pittsburg. Pa. tad
mirers Of The Big Stick, and. sub
scriptiOn paid up) have even threat'd
us with a comptition sheet, to be
called The Whip" II We do not
prUve ourselves amenAble 10 their
opportunities. Period. Paragraph.
We have pondered over the matter
and decided to remain obdurate.
Period. All the crowned heads Of
Europe and this country are sub
scribers to The Big Stick. and Ee
have testimonials Of its efficacy frum
those worthies mentioned in who's
Who," Burke's PeeTake. Almanac
de Gotha, the Blue Book, Brad
streets, Dun's. Mrs. Rorer's Cook
Book, and other social agencies. We
make bold to assert that 1t will be
The Big Stick" in the future as il
has been in the past and will con-
tirue to gently but firmly deal out
q hit for every head" Thanking
you for your kind attention. we re-
main, Yours as Ever,
T. r. MOOSEyEBT.
Contributing Editor.
JAMES B. GREEN,
Associate Editor.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Quotes History.

Those sufrzgettes who wish 10
rule mankind and all the rest Of
creation, should bear in mind that
they are nothing hut side issues.
any way.
1t is reported that a surgeon has
recently made a Jaw bone" from 4
NIB. but the same operation was
very successfully performed sererai
thousand years ago, at a small place
called Eden.
What the poor men need most
now is ''jaw-back bone"
ADMIRAL wHACkER.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
PERTINENT AND IMPERTINENT.

From the Seattle Post Intellisencer.
1t is small things that count. The
cost Of the postal department next year
is estimated at SIS, ooo. 900. and the greater
part OF the sum will be raised by the
sales OF 1-cent and 2-cent stamps.
Prom the New Yuk Telegram.
Senator Baileys final effort strength
ems the belief that swans do not sing.
Prom the Philadelphia Record
The Fargo Express is planning
a general competition with the parcel
post. That Is what the parcel post was
established for.
Frum the Troy Standard.
Will Gov. Sulzer be a Hughes or a
Dix ?-Ctica Herald-Dispatch. Neither.
kind sirs. He will be SuIzer, archie
type. prototype. protoplast. William
Sulzer Is no reprint or second edition.
Prom the st. Louis Poss -DisTatch.
II you should discover a happy medium
between Col. Roosevelt and Senator
Bailey that's the place TO put the inItia-
tive and referendum.
Prom the Richmond Times Dispatch.
II has taken all the years since John
Wanamaker proposed the parcel post
system for an irresistible public pressure
TO make an opening.
From the New York World.
New Yorks age is not known precisely.
Too bad the date of the check with
which the Dutchman paid the Indian s24
for the site 10 lost.
From the Hartford Courant.
Whatever one may think of Joseph
Weldon Bailey personally. or OF his rec
ord as a public man. it's past dispute
that he's learned in the law and ma ster
Of debate. He also Is dead right about
this amazing latter-day folly that would
do away with the safeguards OF the Con-
stitution and bring in pure democracy"
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

enforcing its will of the moment imme-
diately and imperiously-one of the Oldest
and most hopeless experiments Of mis-
government known to the history of
mankind.
Fr-m the Boston Herald.
That United States judge in New York
who, wesrying OF imposing fines on ship
pers and receivers OF bad meat gave sew
eral OF the offenders Jail sentences, is the
most effective lecturer in the pure food
movement.
From the Toledo Blade.
Washington wants TO put 10000 worth
OF Democratic simplicity on display dur
ing Mr.. Wilson'S inauguration.
From the Atlanta Journal.
The Progressive party is now engaged
in editorial work.
Frrn the New Ic-k Tribune.
Mr.. William Rockefeller is suspected
OF having been trying to disprove the
eternal verify Of Sir Boyle Roche's most
famous apophthegm: a man can't be
in two places at the same time. unless
he is a bird"
FIRM the Tupcka CAPITAL.
This. at least. may be said for John
n. Rockefeller. His son is a perfect
lady.
Frusn the Chicagr Examiner.
1t may be true, as DR. Mary Walker
SAYS. that onions will kill smallpox, but
how are We going TO kill the onions?
From the Kansas City Times
The right pronunciation is franchise"
with holes in II.
From IN. Philadelphia Rsord.
Coroners have got It now. and the cold
storage men may get 1t next.
Frum the Indianapolis News.
1t is evident that the Washington hotels
intend 10 violate no precedent during the
inauguration season. They will take all
your money as heretofore.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Conceited Paris.

The Partisan arbiters Of fashion
who threaten US with two-color hats
for men need not think that they
arr original. Dockstader, Primrose,
and other minstrel paradese beat
them to 1t years ago. But why be %
ultra, when a red carnation bouton-
niere will set of your manly beauty
30 conrincinElyi say ''why
sdvisedly. and would like to see this
stirring question argued TO q conclu-
sion in true hippodromatic fashion.
IRA ]. LA M01TE.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
"Unkindest Cut of ALL"

Says the jealous Cleveland Lead
er: "It Is evident that the Wash
ington hotelkeepcrs do not intend
to violate any Of their traditions
during Inauguration week. They
will leave each guest enough TO get
home with, providing he has it
well hidden" Cleveland never had
a decent hotel until recently-and.
any way, oh. what's the use!
GUS BUCHHOLTZ.
The Occidental.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Home Rule at Last!

Mr.. Asquith's bill, which passed tn,
British House of Commons THURSDAY
by a majority of no votes, is quite 4;
different proposition from the on,
forced twenty years ago by Mr.. Glad
stone upon the Liberal party, and for
which, the records show, he could OBJ
tain only a majority of 81 on its fna
passage.
Premier Asquith, in applying tn,
Federal system in the present measure
grants Ireland a national status, bu
not that of a sovereign, an independent
state. 1t is similar to the legal su,
pervision exercised by Congress ovei
our own territories. That is to say, tht
British Imperial Parliament, in which
ireland will continue to be represented
by delegates, has the right to reject
any law passed by the new Irish Diet
at Dublin, whose prerogatives are tc
embrace solely Irish local affairs. A
novelty in British lawgiving is that the
Irish upper house it to be known as
the Senate. Perhaps this federative
idea was copied from the system in
vogue in this country.
But just consider the change that has
conc over Great Britain in the last
twenty years. and which Is reflected Sc
prominently in the home rule situation
In 1898 the bill. week after its pass
age by the Commons, was rejected per
emptorily by the Lords by vote of 4Ic
to Al. That was the end of it, and
poor old Erin was condemned to con-
tinue the long struggle for the right OF
self-govcrnment, so persistently denied
her; for the House of Lords had the
power and exercised it to the full, to
keep the home rule propaganda on the
list of rejected proposals
To-day all this is changed. For the
parliamentary veto act OF a year ago
has taken from the Lords all active leg
islative power. They may, three times
during two years, decline to pass any
measure adopted and sent up by the
Commons, still that bill ultimately be-
comes a law. Hence this time Ire
land has her home rule guaranteed.
The Lords may delay the legalization
and effectiveness of the new act for the
period specified in the parliamentary
veto act, but home rule must become
effective by IQG5-provided the Liberal
administration in Great Britain remains
in power.
But isn't England confronted by a
peculiar constitutional prcdicament? 1t
has two legislative chambers; the up
per one a continuation of the heredi-
tary principle. but without the least leg
islativc power. This is an anomaly,
which cannot survive in a country as
democratic in its administrative insti-
tutions as the England OF to-day
Sooner or later there must be created
a check upon the actions of the Com
mons, and when it arrives, it will be
in the form of Senate" though just
now we have no fault to find with the
present system, as it has helped Ire
land TO reach its long-coveted goal.
So home rule it will be. A large
part of the people of England have
become convinced that the grant to
Ireland of the right of self-rule is not
only a matter of justice, but of ex-
pediency as well, as it will remove a
permanent cause for discomfort. 1t will
also strengthen the British Empire
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Public Appeal.

Every one respects Col. Goethals.
but he might become still more
popular II he would deign TO issue
q bulletin giving the correct Official
pronunciation Of his name. We have
inquiries from J. Ed, Grillo, Fred.
J. Haskin, Theodore II. TiIler. and
other equally renowned lexicograph-
ers. but we could not help them
ont Of the dilemma. as 1t were. Not
even Manrice Spliin could. and
that's going some.
JOHN T. sUTER.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

write the Constitution of the United
States. He also devised the American
postal system. He died at the age of
eighty-four, and Philadelphia Is prouder
Of his tombstone than she is Of the
Liberty Bell.
Through all his long and busy life
Franklin never had time to dress up
and adopt the social usages OF his day.
But this did not prevent him from daz-
cling the exquisite court of France at
at its most brilliant and useful period.
He was one of the few men who gave
to the earth more wisdom than he ab-
sorbed from 1t. but he never was a
bonanza for the tailors Had he spent
his youth keeping four tailors and three
haberdashers in affiuence, Franklin relics
probably would not command the high
price which they now do.
Copyright. 1918. b. Georg- Mathew Adams)
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Never Too Late!

Imitation Is indeed the snccrest
form OF fattery. And now comes
my dear friend Marie Denizard. u
Paris. and announces herself as a
candidate for President Of France,
Just TO make q test case" / won
der II dear Marie has forgotten that
I threw my hat in the ring thirty
years ago
BELyA A. LOCKWOOD.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

Paul Robarts, the irrepresible
Beau Brummel Of newspaper row.
said the other night with his Kelly
hat tipped rakishly on the northeast
side Of his shapely head that the
only thing he doesn't like about
grand opera. except the price, Is
that when the prima donna throws
her arms In tho air and opens her
lungs he is afraid her safety pins
went hold. Paul this by the wsyl
and Bright Eyes" Mattingiy visited
Alexandria the other day, and on
their return they were 50 permeated
with the historic and other atmos-
phere Of that dear old burg that
they decided to have their photos
taken. Anybody here seen Humph :
RALPH A. GRAVES.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
ONE CENT.
Take Your Pick

Gee whiZ. Gosh. Rv Heck. GclIy.
Pifie. TNISh. Pish. Great Scott. My
Gracious. Ny Land. Godfrry's Cor
dial. Sam Hill. I Swan. ! YUM. Ill
Re JigEered. Ill BE HUnswosEied.
Blast II. Goldsrn II. These are
only few suggestions for relief. and
never take anything stronger than
ginger POP. MID II. Z KIFF.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
b GEORGE FITCH.
Author Of "At Good ola siwash."

charted the course of North American
storms. and explained the Gulf stream.
Franklin helped the Colonies to declare
their independence and secured the
treaty Of alliance with France. At
seventy-nine he was elected Governor OF
Pennsylvania At eighty-two he helped
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

In Colorado a boy Of fifteen was killed
by a deputy sheriff while assisting his
father to hold up" and rob merchant.
In Boston a boy of seventeen killed HIM
self because Of his losses in stock specu-
lation, and IN the suburbs of the Hub a
lad OF fifteen killed his sweetheart for
accepting too many kisses under the
mistletoe. The rising generation is CIV
ing account of itself
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Discovered.

What about her husband who disap-
peared! 1t was rumored he had left
her."
"All a mistake. You know their party
had table New Years Eve"
Yes"
We'll, last night they had the same
table again. and there was her husband
still reposing under the table
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

From the Philadelphia Press
The majesty of the subpoena has again
been vindicated.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

Mr.. Loeb will resign as Collector OF
the Port Of New York. but the Sunday
school for travellers with undeveloped
consciences which he established viii
continue to do Its missionary work.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
4 Stage Stunt.

He is a prominent baseball player and
he Is in vaudeville.
He can't sing: he can't dance.
He merely tells his audiences in every
town that they are bound TO cop the pen
nant next season.
OF course. he Is making good.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18

II won't do to be polite all the
time. A woman drew a dog biscuit
at a bridge party. and rather than
offend her hostess, she ate the cake
and broke two Of her teeth. She Is
now sling for broken teeth and
lacerated feelings. OF course Il Was
q sad day for her.
DIR. Glaser.
The Washington herald., 1913-01-18
Warning.

Some kncck-kneed. sluiut-eyed In
dividual took advantage Of the alb
sence Of our beloved Big Stick edi-
tor-in-chief last Saturday and in a
perdfiageous and subterfugeous man
ner connected his name with such
unworthy appellatious as ''growl-
ers." "grouches. and so forth.
We cay ''ie on thee. base traducer
know henceforth that we lore our
oiitorin-chief. TED HARRIS.