The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-23

jim was a e porter in the hotel,
n he was putting in his first night
at his new and responsible position.
1t was five in the morning, and so
far Jim had done all he was told, and
was getting on splendidly.
Call IL and A." commanded the
night clerk as he looked over his call
sheet. Jim obeyed. After he had
been gone for a considerable time the
clerk went up to see if he had called
the rooms designated.
Well" sighed the new porter,
whom he found oil the third floor,
i've got seventeen of 'em up, but l
haven't started on the other four yet"
National Food Magazine.
Senator Tillman once piloted a plain
farmer constituent around the Capitol
for a while. n then. having some
work to do on the floor. conducted
him to the senate gallery.
After an hour or so the visitor ap-
preached a gallery doorkeeper and
friend Of senator Tillman. He
brought me here n l a to go out
and look around a bit. I thought I
would tell you so I can get back in"
That's all right" sal the door
keeper. but I may not he here when
you return. In order to prevent any
mistake will give o the password
SO you can get your seat again"
Swate's eye rather popped out at
"Idiosyncrasy."
What"
II guess Til stay tn" said swate.
In the early days Of Arizona an
elderly and pompous chief Justice was
presiding at the trial of a celebrated
murder case. An aged Negro had
been ruthlessly killed. and the only
eyewitness to the murder was a very
small Negro hoy. When he was called
to give his testimony the lawyer for
the defense objected on the ground
that he was too young to know the
nature Of an oath, and in examining
What would happen to you If you
told a lie?"
DE dehbil I'D git me-" the boy re-
piled. Yes n I'd get you." sternly
said the justice.
Oats JUS what II said!" answered
the boy.-National Monthly.
John was going to bed one night.
and having no light was cropping his
way tthe he'd being one Of the old
fashioned kind. with high bedposts).
John. in feeling for the bedpoet, miss
ed 1t with his hand and struck it with
his nose
"Ach!" he yelled. That is the first
time I knew my nose was longer than
my arrn."-National Monthly.
Mark Twain, about the time that he
was working hard upon one Of the
earlier books that brought him fame,
sailed for a tour of Europe with his
family.
He kept up his writing on shipboard
and only left it at intervals for brief
recreation.
One day an approaching storm
drove him inside the cabin and he
went back to work. leaving word with
his daughter. then a very little girl,
to explain his absence.
IF they ask for me-" he said to
her. SAY that I won't be long-I am
only going to write an %anecdote."
A little later the child was accosted
by q passenger.
Where has your father gomez" was
the inquiry.
"He won't be long" lisped the child.
said he it'll only going to ride a
II always did dislike men who have
no ear for music" said one girl, "and
now I dislike them more than ever.
Charley Nevergo called to see me yes
terday evening. At IL o'clock I went
to the piano."
And played Home, Sweet Home'?"
said the other girl.
Yes. First I played 1t a q ballad.
He didn't move. Then I played it as
q waltz. a polka and then a ragtime."
And what did he dog"
HI said, Gracious. Miss Jones,
what . jolly lot Of tunes you know!
And all 90 different"