El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-11-29

biscuits you could Chaw on like they
was rubber. Some of the things she
cooked you could cut, and some you
couldn't cut, and some YOU couldn't
chisel off with a."
Then old greenbacIzs was good
enough for me- said Sim Perkins.
Some you couldn't ehisel off with a
cold chisel,' said Uncle AshdOd, so we
made her secretary Of the TREASURY, and
she done good. When money was
skeerce she used to take a spinklin
can
What for?" asked Sim Perkins.
For to expand the currency" said
Uncle Ashdod. Moneys skeerce.' she'd
say, and she'd take the old tin sprink-
lin can and go out and sprinkle them
dried apples in the treasury, and they'd
swell right up. Dried apples make one
Of the fleX1bileSt currencies there is
There amt nothin' better. You can
make a peck Outen a quart an all YOU
need is sprinklin' can an some wa
ter. So when money got easy again
she'd fetch the treasury reserve in by
the galley stove an shrink it down
again she was some financeer. she
was. KEEP the interest rate right at
s percent all the time. Only trouble
was that the fellers used to loaf around
the treasury and chaw up the currency
between meals. Couldn't blame EN-.
Only thing aboard they could eat So
We hitched the old whale on behind
the Sally Ann
What whaIe?' asked Sim Perkins.
JOnah's," said Uncle AshdOd "The
steersman that voyage was an old Rus
sian by the name of Gobbleacowsky and
he was a Twin image of Jonah and the
whale didn't know but what he was
Jonah First we noticed of that whale
was how it fOllered US. IooIin' up sort
of coaXin' at GobbleakOwsky like it was
sayin' oh, Mr.. Jonah, amt you comm
= r. 90 ", -
the secretary of the treasury's biscuits
at the old whale, but they only dented
It. they didn't drive it away. So when
I noticed the white spot on the side of
the whale 1 got the old telescope and
seen the white spot was a piece of
paper
Bank note. I reckon" said Sim Per-
kins, sarcasticaIly
plain note" said Uncle Ashdod.
plain note, writ in a sort Of anteek
handwritin' and what it said " as Gone
out to lunch. Back in half an hour
Jonah So we knowed it was Jonah's
whale and that IL had been hangin'
round since the time of JerObOam Mum
Der Two, waitin' for Jonah to come
back from lunch. 'Wen,' I says, I
reckon Jonah amt comm back from
lunch, 1 says, and we might as well
take down that sign and put up Apart
ment To Let and get the rent money! /
So Mrs Brady she hired the whale off
" mt ADA 70 Dt lle r lESL NaLlOnaL Bank
OF the South Atlantic Ocean. No sec
rotary of the treasury amt happy with
out she's got a national bank or two
TO put the dried apple reserve in. So
she deposited three hOgsheads of dried
apples in the First National Bank We
had to take the trunk out first
Whales don't have trunks EIe-
plants has en-" said Sim Perkins
1T was Jonahs trunk" said Uncle
Ashdod, and we give the clothes that
was in II to CObbleacOwsky, because I
they fit him and then he looked more |
like jonah than ever. You didn't ever
see a whale weep, did your"
No" said Sim Perkins gruIfly.
mo, sir" said Uncle Ashdod. Be
cause a whale don't weep so YOU can
notice t. A whale always tries to re- |
strain its feelin's an keep folks from
seem its emotions. That's why it weeps !