The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-02-01
On the Spur of the
Moment
BY Roy X. Moulton
Canrht On the Fly.

The Secretary of Agriculture has
! 60 600 GOO seeds to distribute. But there
/ there are 30 600 600 of us.
Turkey has the uncomfortable habit
of keeping right on hghting long aitef
REPORTS Saw the stock market is
holding up well Yes, and holding up
4 New York theatrical man is ad-
vertising for the most beautlful wo-
man in the world. whihe. by the way,
is one of the easiest ways TO get into
Champ Ciark's well known sense of
humor absolutely refuses 20 work when
any one mentions Mr.. Bryan
La Toilette says the country neeus
surgical statesman. Yes, indeed,
one who can cut out lot OF things.
living when the mail-carrying aero
planes begin dropping those heavy
mail-orders house catalogues on US.
less WARRINGTON. but the genius il
yet to arrive who will invent one with
" a revolution has Just been started
in Ecuador. from which fact II may
be considered that conditions there
have returned TO normal.
A man tired Of paying ahmOhy
lcaped into the Hudson River which
was the most important plunge he had
had taken since he plunged into the sea
of matrImOny.
New Zealand is rapidly acquiring
civilization. Parliament adjourned the
other day 70 see 4 baseball game.
While they are trying 10 decide
to say that Woodrow was. ,,.
A man with wooden log Is walk
ing around the world lie VIII prop
ably make H. il he keeps pegging away.
Prom the HickeyyilIe Clarion.
The proprietor Of our ice cream Sody
cones one day last week and substituted
a lot of left over red and blue Christmas
tree cornucopias. Several I'm our MOS
which ate the cornucoplas without
knowing the difference said they was
good cones. but Elmer Jones at" nine
Of en- hand running and is now havlns
an attack OF indyspepsia A leilei
kin get too much Of good thlne.
Rev. tiudnutt Is putting ndlr res orer
On the church carpet and expects All
The bald spots will be covered by spring.
The seven Sutherland Sisters ain tRot
nothing on Miss Amy StuODs IN regard
TO hair When Miss Stubs unlOoscns
her hair ii falls 20 he floor
There was AN ad lnfthe CLARION iast
week which said that the Teller when
stole the um breller at the meetih
house the previous sunday had better
or be prosecuted Next morning thrie
was hfteen cords OF um brelias IN the
editors backyard IL pays 10 advertise.
There vas quite Il sensational game
of funk III The baC krOOm OF IN" drug
store one night this week. nree
grindst ones. one corn -husker. TWO spring
tooth drdgS. one Churn and seven Wheei-
barrOwH changed hands.
have heared of fellerS Wiling ihelr
bodies to medical ObservatOrics bui
Deacon Pringle. Of this town. has
broke the record lie likes music 50
well he mas willed his diaphragm to the
Silver Comet Band for snare drum
head
About the most aggravdtin 1hlng
that can happen 10 woman J. 30 fall
and cut her cheek and then nave the
doctor sew her mouth up by MISTAKE
Amariah Tison. the humorist downtoths
barber shop. says the last time he "ar
down to tn.. CIV he had a chance 20 90
to "a funeral and took j. in. Spleudio
time being had. Nm says he didn Z
learn the name of the deceased. as 49,
only went for the ride HOO Peters
sent to Z, furniture factory for Ice
box 10 keep the ice ia. but ne got foOled.
He saws he ice don keep in the box
AT all RE put a chunk IN last Tuesday
and Wednesday morning II was all
melted Elmer Jones has got the hives.
and now Miss Amy Stubbs. our miiliner,
calls him nor honey boy