davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
DROWNING HIM OUT.

"Confound it." said an irate patron to
the head waiter, there's an old chap sit
ting at the table next to mine who irri-
tates me by his noisy way of eating
soup!"
I'm very sorry, sir" answered the head
waiter apologetically, "but he is i'm
mensely rich and a regular patron, so |
can't afford to offend him. I'll speak to
the orchestra leader and ask him to have
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
A SAD BLOW.

"Botsworth is keenly disappointed in
his son."
HAS the boy gone wrong?"
"Oh, no. You see, Botsworth has been
a rabid baseball fan all his life and his
boy instead of developing into a crack
pitcher, shows unmistakable talent as an
artist
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

he drew two lines down the stout man
coat, leaving space between them.
Now" he remarked, turning to the
other man. fire away, ye spalpeen, and
remember that any hits outside that chalk
doHit count!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
TIE SECRET OF BADNESS

DR.. Woods Hutchinson in Common Dis
eases.
The actual condition of the scalp and OF
the hair has very much less to do With the
health of the latter than is popularity sup
posed. The bulks of the roots of the hair
go down completely through the skin and
into the fatty layer which lies between 1t
and the skull. and the thing that to the
expert eye is really significant of the
prospect as to progress or cure in a par
ticular case of badness is not the condi-
ton, or color, or cleanliness of the scalp,
but the thickness or thinness Of this fatty
layer which underlies it.
So long as this is present and the scalp
is freely movable over the skull, there is
hope of restoring a reasonable growth OF
hair; but when this fat has been ap-
sorbed and the shiny scalp sticks IS
closely to the skull as the cover on a base
ball, the outlook is practically hopeless.
This, of course. shows at once the futility
of most of the local applications to and
manipulations of the scalp, from which
it suffers untold torments in those who
are or imagine themselves to be becoming
bald
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
CAN'T KEEP UP,

Mrs. Flimmer is an esthetic person
She delves deep into literature and art
Does Mr.. Flimmer follow her?"
HE tries to. but falls SO far behind he
can't even get within speaking distance. "
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Some critics say that the Frenehman
who tweaked the Mad Mullah's nose was
a mere novice at courting trouble COM
pared with our ]. Thomas Hehin when he
lets go at the cause"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Mr.. Phya Prabha Karavongse comes to
us as minister from Siam. In behalf of
the proofreader it is 10 be hoped his min
isterial duties will keep him far removed
from the lime glow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

contemporary speaks of United States
soldiers who have been marking time"
along the Mexican border. Had an idea
that most of them were taking in the
races at Juarez.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
A SIGN oF THE TINES.

What has become of Dabson, the pho
tographer who used to make specially
of taking lifelike pictures of babies?"
Hes specializing in poodles now and
1 understand he gets some splendid re-
suits"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

OVERLOOKED.
A restless man was EzraSpiigginss,
Who often dreamed of far-off diggings,
Where men were golden nuggets finding
Whose yellow CLEAN was almost binding.
Some years elapsed, poor Ezra using,
Faith, none too well. He kept on nusir.s
And still saw. shining goals before him
Until the .elods were rafting DER him.
Which proves that while ones castle
building
And all his future prospects gliding.
Dame Fortune, though she may descry
him, TL3
VIII think he sleeps and pass right by
MIN. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Judge not harshly of the Mexican.
gentle reader. If your system was as
full of pulk and hot peppers as his, your
views of peace would doubtless suffer a
radical change.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

San Francisco has won it's long fight
The crystal waters of the beautiful Hetch
Hetehy valley are to be piped into that
city-the object of which, however, is not
stated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
A STIFF PRICE. TOO
CERTAINLY NOT.

Il see where a man wants divorce
from his wife because she spanked him.
"umph! A man who isn't prepared to
take little punishment has no business
getting married" "e
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

That Hetch Hetchy matter Is settled
now and newspaper men won't have to
bother any more about whether or not
the name should be hyphenated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

New Jersey boasts of a mule that can
climb a tree. Still, it's hard to see how
an accomplishment of that sort makes a
mule more useful to community
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

A New York man went into court and
asked that he be allowed to increase
his wife's alimony. The most remarkable
example of the Christmas spirit on
record
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

If Senior Lopez of Utah has made his
getaway he is probably the best fumi-
gated citizen of the Desert State.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Steel passenger coaches are saving so
many lives nowadays that the time will
come when no trunk line can afford to
do without them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

What with an off season for poets and
the sport writer's standing off and on,
the good Kings English is slowly re-
cuperating.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Fairfield, adjoining Birming ham,
will witness the new wire plant in op-
GRAFTON early in January, and it is the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Probably no physician has ever engaged
in the undertaking business as side line.
Yet the ice man has no qualms in selling
coal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
MARKED SIMILARITY.

MAIthED- oIMIIlAHIl T.
"Well, 1 guess it will soon be time 70
haul out the old water wagon, give it a
fresh coat of paint and start it down the
line heavily loaded" >.
"Yes. The old water wagon reminds me
of suburban trolley car, outward bound
at p. M"
And how is that?p
THE farther it goes, the lighter it gets"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Victory perches on the banners of the
army nearest the telegraph station down
Mexico way
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

The modern cold storage plant is
enough to take the cackle out of any
self-respecting hen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

'Zim" drew a picture of a cat for the
Christmas number of Judge that would
make a horse laugh.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

The more advertising poetry we read the
more firmly we are convinced that busi-
ness men ought to stick to plain prose
with a punch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

fake news as the worst of the European
papers.
AS matter of fact the criticisms you
hear about the American press are
founded on a dislike for our headlines aod
for the prominence we give to crime. to
corruption in office and to sensational
topics generally. The charge of inaccu-
racy is just thrown in to make 1t lool,
worse l do not believe that one person
in thousand who attacks the American
press for being inaccurate has ever taken
the trouble to investigate the facts.
Now, about this matter of sensational
ism; a newspaper should be scruplously
accurate; it should be clean: it should
avoid everything salacious or suggestive
everything that could offend good taste
or lower the moral tone of its readers; bot
within these limits 1t is the duty of a
newspaper to print the news. When /.
speak of good taste and of good moral
tone do not mean the kind of good taste
which is offended by every reference to
the unpleasant things of life; | do not
mean the kind of morality which refuses
to recognize the existence of immortality
that type of moral hypocrite has done
more to check the moral progress OF
humanity than all the immoral people put
together. What l mean Is the kind of
GOOD taste which demands that frankness
should be linked with decency; the kind
laxed when 1t is brought face to face
''Some people try and make you believe
that a newspaper should not devote Its
space to long and dramatic accounts Of
murders, railroad wrecks, fires. lynchings,
political corruption, embezzlements.
frauds, graft, divorces. what you will, I
tell you they are wrong, and I believe that
If they thought the thing out they would
see that they are wrong.
1--WE are a democracy, and there is only
one way to get democracy on its feet in
the matter of its individual. its social, its
municipal, it's state, it's national conduct.
and that is by keeping the public informed
about what is going on. There is not
crime, there is not dodge, there is not
a trick. there is not swindle. there is
not vice which does not live by secrecy.
Get these things out in the open, describe
them attack them, ridicule them in the
press and sooner or later public opinion
will sweep them away"
the request of the second woman, he be-
gan to raise the window. Then, at fu-
rious glance from the lorgnette, he de-
sisted. Clearly, he was in predicameat.
What, sir asked he of the man
what would you say as 'ow ! should do.
sir?' #4f
Its quite simple said the man. as ne
rose to leave the train. Leave the WIN
dow as it is until one lady is frozen TO
death; then close Ii and suffocate the
nther | am getting off here"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Ella Wheeler Wilcox says a man should
talk with his wife every day. Some of
them don't get chance as often as every
day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

The Sayres had a rough voyage across
the Atlantic, but even seasickness can't
spoil a 'sure enough honeymoon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

It's a cineh that something's been wrong
with Teddy's wireless apparatus.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Rich "Spugs" can solve the Christmas
present problem quite easily by sending
gifts of strictly fresh eggs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
SMOKING AS A CAUSE OF FIRE

The Medicine Hat weather man is get
ting back on the job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES

one of his musicians play trombone
solo,
a STIFF PRICE, TOO.
The litigant
Is forced to pay
For what men call
THE laws delay
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

A. ]. Eaton, Jr.. and o. e. Young are
the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09
OVERLOOKED,

"The farther it goes, The lighter it geta.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-09

Entered al the Birmingham, Ala,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress Marcn 8. 1879.
Omaha daily bee., 1913-12-14

THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE or
the CHILDREN'S ENCYCLOPEDIA
is the most wonderful set OF books
of this generation.
PRESIDENT JOHN II. FINLEY, Of
the College OF the City of New York,
In his Introduction says: Suppose a
boy of ten were to spend fifteen
minutes a day in reading these pages.
-he would at thirteen know more
about the earth and the life on II
than the wisest men knew a gener-
alton ago"
Place THE BOOK OF KNowL-
EDGE" in the hands OF your children
and you will give them a long start
in the race for knowledge.
This is the only work which has
discovered how TO make learning fas-
cinating to growing minds. The first
set bought by the Omaha Y. NJ. G.
A., was literally worn out by the
constant use OF them by the several
hundred boys in that department. A
second set Is now In use.
Order the beautiful 72-page free
booklet. Phone D. S2T. or call at
1914 st. Mary's Ave. THE Sterling"
w. A. Hixenbaugh q Co.
Chas. A. Goss, Atty, says: II
purchased the Book OF knowledge
for my daughter. age ten. and / find
she Is greatly interested in Il and
voluntarily reads II more than any
thing in our home library. II 10 cer-
Omaha daily bee., 1913-12-14

tainly a very desirable set for chill
terested In IT,"
]. c. Root, Sovereign Commander.
w. o. W., says: II regard the Book
OF knowledge" as the most compre-
hensive. instructive and amusing book
for children ever published. My
grandchildren find IL a well-spring OF
entertainment and information. II IL
a complete library in itself for our
young people"
j. W. Lampman, Pres. Mosher-Lamp-
man Bus. Col, says: 1--WE are de-
lighted with the books and would not
sell them for many times their cost.
The universe Is not too large nor
the atom too small for these books
to explain with all the wisdom OF
modern science. The story OF the
Earth, the 'Child's Book OF Wonder.
and many other single features are
worth more than the cost Of the en-
entire set"
NJ. T. Barlow. Pres. u. S. Natl
Bank, Omaha, says; II. have recently
purchased the Book OF knowledge
which j regard as the most complete,
instructive and useful publication for
children that has come to my notice.
II Is certainly very complete and de-
sirable and l am very much pleased
with the work.
Ira. w. Porter, NJ. D., Med. Dept.
w. o. W., says: II purchased the
Book OF knowledge for my daughter,
age IL, and l find that she has been
able 10 get more out OF her school
studies by using IL in conjunction
with her school books than she has
from any other book of reference
within her reach"
Fredrtck Lake, NJ. d., says, "I am
glad to express my extreme satisfac-
ton with the work"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
SELECT CULLINGs
Oil For BattIeships.

The last American battleship that
will burn coal has been built. The big
ones now building have no coal bunk
ers and no arrangement for burning
coal. They are oil. burners.
what is the advantageT' ! asked a
United States naval officer
There are many advantages in oil"
he replied. First we can steam farther
with given number of tons Of oil than
with the same number Of tons Of coal
We can also store the oil more advan-
tageously, for 1t will fill corners in a
ship where coal could not be placed.
"a very big advantage, however, is in
the reduced number of men required to
handle the boilers. One man with oil
can take the place of four men shovel
ing coal. Usually the oil is sprayed
into the furnace, but there are several
methods Of applying the oil"
This officer said that the United
States will have some very valuable
oiling stations in Alaska. Arrange
mehts are already making to establish
oiling stations In place of coaling sta
lions in various other parts Of the
world. Philadelphia Ledger.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
Seward County
S. 5. Convention

The Twenty-sixth Annual Conven-
ton OF the Seward County Sunday
school Association will be held in the
Presbyterian Church at Liberal, May
~. 18,19iS. The first session VIII
convene afternoon of the 18th at
200 D. m. There will also be a SEES
sion at night and three sessions the
following day. We are expecting
General Sec'y. Engle and, Miss Maud
Price. state workers, with us
throughout the entire convention.
The musical features of the con-
yention. under the leadership of j. N.
Evans. the parade on Sunday morn
ing, the competition for the county
banner, and the strong addresses
throughout the convention will make
1t we'll worth the time spent In at
tending.
During the past five years each
succeeding annual convention has
been better than the preceding one
and appeal to all interested In the
Sunday school work of the county to
help make this the best convention
yet held
Bring your Sunday School prob
lens TO the convention and we Will
help you solve them.
RALPH NJ. HEATH,
Pres. Co. s. ). Assn
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
Rassa n tha nav,a Work.

To the attention of those persons who
believe they have done all they should
do when they have worked the speci-
fed number of hours and performed
the duties specified in their bonds the
example of w. II. Bancroft, vice presi-
dent of the Salt Lake road, Is respect
fully referred.
When Mr.. Bancroft was a younger
man he acted as agent at a way station
In deserted part Of the west. One
day the president of the road happened
to stop and noticed, to his surprise. that
instead of the usual bare surroundings
the small shack was literally set in a
bower of roses. He went inside, took a
look at Bancroft, got his name and put
him down for promotion.
"A man who will take such care of
company property would be a good
man in higher place" he said as the
train pulled out. And Mr., Bancroft
has been going higher ever since.
There are good many ways of plant
ing roses about our everyday work.
Anyway. it's an experiment worth the
trying.-New York American.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
sIETHoDIsTs GIVE RECEPTION

The Methodist church of this city
has received over II members in the
last year. To give these and the
older members of the church an OPP
portunity to become better aequalnt-
ed with each other, reception was
extended to the new members last
Wednesday evening, May Z. The first
hour OF this delightful evening was
the l.. U. B. A. hour, that is, the
Let-Us Be Acquainted hour. AS the
new members arrived. they were pro-
vided with badges which read, New
Member, May 7, 1913" Everybody
wore slip OF paper with his own
name upon 1t. Upon pieces OF card
board old members made lists of the
new and the new made lists of the
old. Following this informal hour,
the program was rendered.
After music by the orchestra and
singing by the congregation the pas
tor led In prayer. The address OF
welcome was made by j. R. Bolin. In
it he welcomed the new members into
the service and opportunities OF the
CuuICu y lcllOWBnlp' VIII ~ hOHOau
responded for the new members with
appreciation of the occasion and the
reason why they were new members
and with words as to what they, with
others, hoped to do. Mrs. Earl
Cooper gave reading to the delight
of all.
Light refreshments were served in
the new Sunday school room. 1t was
the first time the new room had been
used, for such an occasion and this
congregation which has needed such
room for its social needs for so
long, was highly pleased in that it
met Its needs so nicely.
A delightful evening was the pro
nounCement OF all as each went
home carrying with him wealth OF
larger acquaintance and richer
sense of brotherhood.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
New Zealand Exposition.

Auckland is making vigorous prepa.
ration for an industrial, agricultural
and mining exposition, to be opened on
Dec. next. Since the last exhibition
was held, in 1890, the population Of
Auckland has doubled, aud the city Is
today the metropolis of New Zealand
and one Of the most important ports in
Australasia. Although the coming ex,
position is not advertised as 'interna,
tiOnal," every attention will be given
to exhibits coming from abroad The
United States has total annual trade
with New Zealand of about $40, T50.0 900,
The value of its exports to this cOun-
try for 1911 was $s,2OO,O29. which
amount will be exceeded by the value
Of the exports for 1912.-Consular and
Trade Reports
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
TRAINING A MODERN
DEMOSTHENES.
A Statssman's Early Schooling
In the Art Of OratOry.

There is an almost unknown circum-
stance in the life history of Speaker
Champ Clark that deserves to rank
with the ever green story of Demos
themes, who cultivated clear speech
with a mOuthful Of pebbles. Speaker
Clark bears the reputation of having
the cleaFest enunciatiOn in the house
OF representatives and of being the
most easily understood speaker In that
body.
when was boy in Kentucky"
said the speaker In explanation of his
clear dietiOn, "my father determined
to train me to talk without mounting
or mumbIlng my words, SO he cut a
little piece Of wood, just long enough
to stand endwise between my teeth
when my jaws were well opened
Then, with that impeachment to the
movement of myNlips, was required
to practice articulation. The treat
msnt was heroic. but 1t taught me
plain speaking Washington Star
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
Not Ensuoh eoatsklns.

The present. demand for goat kid
skins exceeds anything Of the kind be.
fore known, and the remotest places
in India, South America and Europe
and everywhere else goats are kept are
now visited by collectors to obtain
them. This demand arises from the
recent discovery of new methods OF
treating the skins, which not only
make them substitute for calf kid
as shoe. leather, but also render them
suitable for US in dress trimming.
When specially dyed and finished they
find great favor with dressmakers and
are used for vests, strappings. pipings,
blouses and even for underskiFts for
country wear They also play a part
in recent mlllinery.-New YORK Trib-
upe.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
Family Baseball.

Charley Smith, father of Ben Smith,
partner of Hugh Jennings on the vaujle-
Vile stage, practically introduced semi
professional baseball into Newark, N. I,
Charley Smith caught for a'semipro-
fessional team, while Ben played right
field. This is one of the few cases
where a father and son played on the
same outfit There are only two other
instances we can recall. One is when
Jim O'Rourke, the old Giant. played
with his son on the Bridgeport team in
the Connecticut league. The other Is
when the father of Kid Carsey, the old
Philadelphia and st. Louis pitcher,
taught the kid to pitch when he was a
yOungster pitching for semipro teams
around New York and vicinity. Carsey
senior was the Kids catcher.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
THE WILD ANIMAL MAN

Carl Hagenbeck, who died o few
days ago, may not figure much, IL at
all, in the encyclopedias of ten years
hence. but for all that, great many
children and grown-ups will always
think of him as the king Of all wild
life, and the master of the mystery
and ferocity OF the jungle.
The first day that the child at
tends the wild animal show Is an
epoch OF a life time His usually
dreamless slumber is fitful the night
before, under the strain of anticipa-
ton. He rises few times to see II
the clouded heavens presage enough
of storm to give mother an excuse
for not taking him.
Arrived at the show, even the most
confined little ring seems vast
arena of barbaric monstroslties. The
simple tricks of way-worn and shah
by bears or panthers suggest to him
all the destinations of the unknown
tropics.
Interest in wild animals is by no
means confined to the youngsters,
and it was on a perception of this in
stinct that Hagenbeck built great
business His results as a trainer
may be attributed partly to his feel
ing that one must be kind even to
the cruel savage of the forests. The
ordinary elephant seems like a pa
thetic, dlsinherited prince, amid the
buffetings of the ordinary side show.
but great trainers have always known
that wild animals had a dignity OF
their own which appreciated friend
Illness.
When you think that Hagenbeck
In one recent year shipped 234 speci-
mems of lions, tigers, panthers, bears,
elephants, and camels alone, not to
speak of great numbers Of other
specimens, one sees the size of the
opportunity that he grasped. As
an everyday lion Is worth $1,000,
and hippopotamus $4,000, 1t is a
var ETY. of stock raising calling for
capital and courage,
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-05-16
ALMA

Everything is looking fine, due To
the recent rains.
Ethel Burrows and Anna Dettmer
spent Saturday night with Anna
Brier
Mr. Pennington and family visited
with Sam Dodd and family Sunday,
Blanche Swan is assisting Mrs. Err
wine with her house work this week.
Chas ills has been very busy haul
ing on his wheat the past week.
Ralph Erlewlne spent Monday ev-
ening with the Brier brothers.
Aliee Taylor visited with Leato
White Sunday,
Lorena and Sarah Snow have been
delivering toilet articles through this
vicinity this week.
Mr.. Dettmer sold his broom corn
this week TO Patton of Liberal.