davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.I

ltrom the chicago News
Never hit a man when he's got you
down.
Revenge generally seeks refuge in {.
small head.
Millinery also shows which way the
wind blows.
Somehow the majority of our good deeds
never get found out
To require a reputation for stinginess a
man pays high price.
Justice is what every man wants, pro-
vided he may define it himself.
You must sprint if you would catch good
luck outfoot the other kind
OF course there is risk in marriage, but
every normal man is fond of adventure.
Before making up your mind be sure
that You have the right kind of material
in stock
After he has failed to make good a
weakling spends all the rest of his time
explaining that he didn't get a square
deal.
The cynical world would be far more
likely to sit up and take notice if more of
the reformers would begin on themselves.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
WOMAN SUFFRAGE IN ALASKA

The only territorial legislature in
the United States (continentaD has
granted full suffrage to women.
Why Alaska has enfranchised the
women is a question easy to answer.
1t wants more of them. and it wants
them on any terms. If suffrage will
make Alaska more attractive to wom-
en-, they can have it. Jury service is
a burden as well as a privilege, and
Alaska exempts women from such
service. But if they shall ask for jury
service, they will get it without a dis
senting vote.
In fact. they will get anything if
they will only come and marry the
miners, fishermen, prospectors and
others who are unanimously opposed
to single blessedness.
Alaska suggests a new way of get
ting suffrage-a better way than vio-
lence, says the Chicago Record Herald.
Let the women threaten to emigrate
from the states that deny them the
vote to states or territories that grant
it. In this way they will get votes
going and coming, as it were.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
EVENING CHAT
The Low Cost of Service.
BIZ RUTH CAMERON.

| The Low Cost OF service.
| The other night we referred a diff
ference about the spelling of a certain
word to the dictionary. Although the
| decree of the dictionary did not suit
the majority, it was of course accept
ed without question. And as we laid
| the book and the subject aside, there
came to me realization of all that
unquestioning acceptance meant. The
| reason that we accepted that verdict
with such absolute faith was that we
| knew that our question had been an
swered by committee of learned men
who had. devoted years of labor to
| studying that and similar problems for
| us. We knew that we had in them a
| corps of faithful and intelligent ser
wants and so we gave the matter into
their hands with perfect faith that it
| would be properly attended to.
Do you remember in your First
Reader the story of the boy whose
| uncle promised him that he would
serve him a pudding which a thou
sand people had helped to make?
When it came time for dessert, some
very simple pudding was brought on
and the little boy thought he had been
deceived; but before his uncle had fin
ished telling him of the men and wo-
men who had helped to cultivate and
transport the rice and spice and sugar,
ETC., that went into the pudding, he
was convinced that he was really eat
ing what a thousand people had help
ed make for him, and was as aston
ished and impressed as his uncle could
wish.
AS 1 laid aside the dictionary, after
availing myself of the efficient service
Of those learned and studious men,
that First Reader story came back to
me and 1, too, was suddenly impressed
by a realization of the innumerable
servants who wait on the humblest of
US.
They say the cost of service is high
today. In some ways it was never
lower.
My dictionary is a small one. cost
ing about So. 1t will last me 'at least
ten or fifteen years and 1 shall surely
use it hundreds of times in that per-
iod. Does not that make the cost of
service pretty low?
A man in Boston writes a letter to
a friend in San Francisco; he buys a
stamp and posts it. With the pur-
chase of that two-cent stamp he buys
the services, not only of all the men
who actually handle that letter and
the bag that contains it, but also of all
the firemen and engineers, the brake
men, the mail cart drivers, ETC., who
will help to bring it to its destination.
Think of the number of servants
represented by a public library full of
books. For the writing and correct
ing and printing of each one of these
little volumes there was required the
work of innumerable men, both brain |
wise and hand-wise. And all of these
are your servants.
Think of the number of men and
women who become your servants
when you pay five cents for tele-
phone call.
: These are few of our servants, but |
only few. You can think of plenty |
more for yourself After all it's quite /
a wonderful world we are living in, in |
this twentieth century, isn't it?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHISON GLOBE.

Jude Johnson found Doc Hyde not guilty
again today.
horse is an intelligent animal, and
can swear by laying back its ears.
A man is apt to regard anything as leg1ti-
mate business if he isn't arrested for 1t.
they find money, they can find the own
er, all right.
An Atchison man is So anxious to be
aristocratic that he refers to his bunions
as the govt.
Farmers so anxious to get up early
that there will always be good market
for lanterns.
Neither can you estimate girls educa-
ton by the number of college remnants
bedecking her boulder.
Some men play poker, while others sat
isfy their gambling instinct by buying
second hand machinery.
A man can thread needle all right.
If he feels the sewing has to be DONE and
there is no woman around.
A woman may demonstrate her economy
by painting the furniture, but that ism t
the reason she paints her face.
Going down there is one way of earn
ing that the Sunny South isn't as chival-
rous and hospitable as advertised.
The Wise Guy who remarked that hon
esty is the best policy, didn't say it was
have.
While circuses come nearer to their ad-
vance notices than formerly, they haven't
reached that point where their posters
are photographs.
There are no available statistics, but
it is improbable that any woman ever
fell in love with a man while the man
was wearing hunting coat.
Alb. Adkins has a hard time supporting
one family, and is modest man, and so
homely it hurts. Still, it is hard for him
to get home late at night without being
accused of leading a Double Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
by THE WAY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

Friend Eel Hopkins says he is GO
ing to put the lid on the fake employ
ment bureaus. If he can put crimr
In the zap who makes a living by
dollar for fake position, he will have
mitlgated, to certain extent, the
odium of Newspaper man" which
now hangs over him.
Ike Gilberg has returned from his
journey into the realms of politics So
far as results are concerned, Ike's re-
turn trip was not long one. Ike was
an idealist, and he can make trousers
and vests faster and more lasting than
ion of good will, universal kindness
and equality. Ike is hereby commits
stoned the architect and contractor for
our next new suit-which will be con-
structed, probably, some time after
the opening of the Panama canal.
As to the most promising candi-
dates, that is hard to decide on the
spur of the moment. They are all
promising whole lot.
Reporters handled the case of the
kansas City man who shot himself in
the head over an infatuation, with
rare circumspection. Not one laid
himself liable to criticism by stating
that the man "blew out his brains.''
State Senator Price of Greenwood
has opened another bank, but there
seems to be no takers for the bet that
he didn't do it on his legislative per
diem.
The new liquor shipment laws will
work a great hardship on Topeka
bootleggers. Now they will have to
make all their booze, instead of just
part of it.
Which will be some hardship on
our Topeka bootleggerS. Our police
department and our sheriff, who are
common end, keep the boot1eggers so
busy doing the marathon that they
have scant time for laboratory work.
Forty three years ago, the peach
trees were in bloom. That fact is
duly recorded, but whether or not a
full peach crop resulted is lost to his
tory. The difference between a start
and finish, (moraD, is several sticks
Experience is the best teacher, all
right, but her tuition fees are even
higher than those of the socially
prominent music teacher.
The Fly has not arrived, but it is
reported that he has bought his tick
ct and berth reservation for the trip.
The condition of Mexico is remind
full of the colored gent, denizen of the
bottoms" who called on a druggist
and observed that he was suffering
with a MISERY" He was given both
ends of a Seidlitz-separately and a
large drink of water for a chaser.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
THE CRUsoING OF sP1FK1Ns.

THE CRUSOING OF SPIFKINS.
Young Spifkfns had a fortune that had
come down from his dad
He had lived his life in luxury and style;
The best the market offered was the thing
young Spifkins had
existence was matter Of his pile
But Spifkins had shipwreck on a far-off
Southern shore, u
And all his wood and grub he had to
haul;
He'd thought he couldn't live without the
comforts from his store,
But soon he had forgot about 'em all.
He found he could be happy in his tattred
pantaloonS-
He never missed his collar and his tie;
And restaurants and taxis he forgot, ere
many moons
And. forgetting such, he didn't want to
die.
And so, when some one landed on the isle
where Spifkins dwelt,
He chased the rash intruders from his
tent; "a
"Fn not go back" cried Spifkins, as he
whaled them with his belt
ST never knew before what living
meant"
Arthur Chapman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
HUNOR or THE DAY

81 want some concomitants with my
oyst ers.'' "Just out of 'en, sir, but I'll
bring you some crackers and pickles IN
stead."-Baltimore American.
81 understand your wife is financially
interested in your business" Yes" "A
silent partner, 1 suppose?" weller
that's what she calls REHABILITATION
Transcript.
Fair Worshiper-''What is that sad
sad air you're playing, Professor The
rofessor-''Dat ISIS Beethovens Farewell
to the Piano I see dose instalment peo-
pie coming NIT der van."-Puck.
Mother-"Tommy, If you're pretending
to be an automobile, L wish you'd run
over to the store and get me some but
ter Tommy-'Im awful sorry, Mother.
but I'm all out of gasoline. "-Judge.
..That" said Mr.. Dustin stax, lis
magnificent art treasurer" How do you
know? By the painters signature2" NO.
By my own signature on the check L gave
the dealer ashington Star.
why did the elopement fall through?
I'VE had a signal arranged She told me
to come to her window and make noise
Ike robin 1 did So ''Yes?" Then
ner father popped out an made a noise
like a shotgun. WASH Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
SAYS UNCLE CAV

| Some newspaper flake artist pro-
duced a tale the other day that was
as false as it was quaint, and which
had, for all that, more than a modi-
/ cum of truth in it, It was all about a
Kansas farmers prize milk COW that
| lost an eye and her pride at the same
| time. Whereupon, says the tale, the
| bovine began to worry and her milk
| failed. A veterinary surgeon restored
the cows pride by supplying glass
| eye, and her milk producing powers
returned.
There are a heap of folks on earth
who are just like that imaginary COW.
| The rule doesn't always hold good,
| but if you could induce most failures
| to improve their personal appearance,
you'd presently find that instead of de-
pleting their bank accounts you had
Increased them. The man who gets
down at the heel gets discouraged at
the same time. He begins by recog-
nizing the fact that lack of cleanliness
and good clothes made disagreeable
first Impressions that are difficult to
eradicate. Unless he be an unusually
strong character, he ends by accept
ing the common, first sight verdict and
admits himself beaten. Then he stops
producing. When he reaches that
state, he needs a new glass eye.
There's eminently respectable,
bewhiskeerd old fable that made a
little point and just stopped short Of
old farmer who upon going to the city
was induced to buy plug hat.
1t then occurred to him that his
coat and shoes were not in keeping
with his new headgear and that the
attention of a barber was needed to
make the picture just what it should
be. Next it seemed a shame that
one so gaudily clad should ride home
in an old farm wagon. He bought a
carriage. His tumbled down house
was not in keeping with the carriage,
so he built a new one. All of which
teaches that most men have a sense
of consistency. The story should have
gone farther, for it is a moral GER
tainty that after that new house was
built and the cottage organ installed
in the parlor, the old man had a new
pride in himself which gave him the
necessary incentive to get into touch
with the agricultural college to find
out how to make two bushels of corn
grow on land that had produced only
one bushel before.
Now and then there is a man who can
wear shabby clothes and retain
enough self confidence to obtain a
hearing in the councils of the great,
but these men are as scarce as white
blackbirds.
To be successful most of us must
look successful We need the I'M
questioning handclasp, the ready
smile, the exaggerated estimate of
appearance These things form a
considerable part of the capital of
success. A lot of us are in the con-
dition of the imaginary cow-we need
new glass eyes.-(Copyright 1913, by
the Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

gan to SOB. heavy. dry. heart-break-
ing sobs.
Dear. don't. why. Violet. can't lie,
you"
"Oh, let me alone" said the girl. 81
want to tell you before they come back
Those rings and the other things-l
took them out of the case on your
dressing table, and locked it again
while you were downstairs. Rodenson
was in the other room, and she did not
open the case again.
But why" began Mrs. COPYRIGHT
staring at the delicate, impassioned
race of the girl before her, violet, how
could your
"Oh, how could / 90 Violet said mis-
erably. Il don't know. 1 felt all at
once the injustice of life, how you had
everything that had been my fathers,
how he had never seemed to care for
me much after he met you. And some
how those jewels always typified it all
to me. hated to see them on you"
I'm very, very sorry"
Are your Violet smiled up at her.
Il haven't told you all. 1 was i'll that
day, and I think irresponsible. took
the jewels, all of them, into my room.
There was fire in there, an open one,
and 1 laid them one by one on the
burning logs. They were taken cut with
the ashes afterward. Is 1t too late? I
have heard diamonds will not burn
She was sobbing between the words.
AS Kate and Jessop came back to-
gether, they stopped at the picture the
two made. 1t was the first time Walt
remembered having seen his sister take
Violet in her arms. She was soothing
her, stroking the soft, fair hair tender
ly, sympathetically.
Walt DEAR" Mrs. COPYRIGHT re-
marked, you may tell Mr.. Clarity a
mistake has been made. The Jewels
are quite safe. I never wear them
anyway except on very special occa-
sions. They are always kept in the
safety vault in town, and are there
now"
Violet gave a quick smothered ex-
clamation, but the cool hand on her
head never stopped its caressing.
And the ones that are gone are
paste?" asked Walt. by Jove, I'm
awfully glad for you
''It will be q shock to the thieves,
laughed Kate.
Violet raised her tear-stained face.
Perhaps a blessed one" she said.
Mrs. COPYRIGHT smiled.
81 shall divide the real ones with
Violet now The responsibility is too
great for one to carry."-(Copyright,
1918, by the Mcclure Newspaper Syn
dicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
The PIumber,s Revenpe.

Springburn woman, who is not
noted for her liberality, haG a some
what unpleasant experience the other
day. A corporation workman had
arrived at her house to fix up a 'tfree"
gas cooker, and the housewife thought
to profit by the occasion by having
her parlor chandelier hung. The man
was agreeable and the task occupied
the greater part of his meal hour. His
labor was rewarded with-a plate of
soup, which he refused.
The workman, however, was pos
sessed of the stuff of which diplomats
are made He said nothing, but before
leaving requested a further loan of the
steps, remarking, THAT chandelier
escape" When the woman entered
the room some time afterwards to see
what Improvement had been effected,
she discovered the chandelier. lying
under the table. And she is now await
ing the bill from one of the local
plumbers.-Glasgow News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

Two hundred and seventy-seven sam
pies of butter packed for the navy last
spring and summer were recently OPP
ened and examined by experts at the
department of agriculture after having
been kept in cold storage for from
seven to ten months, and were found
to be of fine quality, being graded as
extras" the highest market grade.
The excellent keeping quality of this
butter is attributed to the fact that
it was made from pasteurized sweet
cream.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
KANSAS COQHHENT
THE CASE OF THE GROW.

THE CASE OF THE CROW.
The bird editor of this newspaper
! learns that the government is issuing
a new bird book in which the value
OF spectre birds commonly deemed
harmful is discussed at great length.
The bird editor feels particularly
interested to see what Uncle Sam
VIII say about the crow, a species of
i of state legislatures, and has generally
been considered fair game for the
farmers boy.
Bird experts say that the crow,
! life, has grown to acquire a most ex-
ceptlonal sagacity. He lives under
constant apprehension, consciousness
OF danger, and has acquired an alert
seI-reIance that makes him an inter-
esting figure.
A farmers boy once told the writer
about his dealings with Mr.. Grow.
when the boy took a gun, the black
pirates wheeled in wide circles far
over his head. When he went out
with stick they loafed in near by
trees and jawed jeeringly.
One day he started out with the
| drill in school, but the crows paid no
attention whatever. Their hunted
life has made them as elusive as a city
street Arab
that the crow pulls fresh corn and de-
stroys birds, say his diet of mice,
snakes and beetles gives him a credit
to the good.
corn is softened and cooked, the starch
partly turned to sugar. He regards 1t
as a kind of entree prepared for his
benefit You can't make the farmer
believe he is friend. One agricultur-
list who placed large quantity of
fish offal on his land as fertilizer said
that the crows dug it all up and ate
the seed. He could smell their breath
all summer as they flew honking over
his depleted fields. Still you can tar
corn seed. If Mr.. Crow gets ahead
of the farmer he has the better brain.
winfield Courier.
TOM KELLY WANTS HIS MONEY
"A peculiar situation is developing
up in Miami county. A few years ago
when T. T. Kelly was making his sec
ond race for state treasurer he was
charged with having defrauded Miami
county out of S1,324.99. After the
campaign had passed and the men in
volved had cooled off the matter was
heard upon its merits in court and
the court said he had not taken a cent
that belonged to the county. But
while it was hottest Kelly had de-
posted the amount claimed with the
county treasurer to make good the
debt in case the court should decide
that he did owe the county. Before
the case was finally concluded the
statute of limitations made it legally
possible for the county board to hold
Kelly's money and they did hold it.
When he filed a claim asking his
money back he was confronted with
this defense of time limit, although
the court had declared him entitled
to the money because it said he did
not owe the county anything when he
paid the money in. Mr.. Kelly is now
having petitions circulated all over
Miami county asking the hoard IN
allow his claim and pay back his
money. over 1000 persons have al
ready signed the petition.-Sedan
Times-Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

The navy department has directed
the converting of boards Of officers on
Monday, July II, 1913, for the pur-
pose of holding competitive examina-
tions of young men between the ages
of 81 and 81 years. for the purpose
of filling the vacancies in the grade
of second lieutenant, United States
marine corps. These examinations
will be held in Washington, d. c., San
Francisco, Cal, and in other cities if
the number of applicants will justify
the expense involved. The pay of a
second lieutenant is S1,700 per annum,
with 10 per cent additional for each
five years service. In addition there
are certain allowances in the way OF
quarters, heat and light, or commuta-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

In announcing a pension system for
its employees the American Telephone
and Telegraph company says in its
annual report: Nearly 100000 men and
women who are now giving their best
years to the telephone and telegraph
service of the country, will henceforth
be assured of assistance in the ext
sencies of life, for which not all are
able to provide, and will also be assur-
ed of a provision for their declining
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

ton thereof. The position, if secured,
is for life, or good behavior, and Of
ficers commissioned as second heuten-
ants are in line for promotion to the
higher grades as vacancies occur. Of
ficers of the marine corps are required
to serve at sea on vessels of the navy,
and on shore at naval stations in the
United States or in it's foreign posses
SiOns
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

Tt is fortunate that kline Elliott
does not use the same church every
time she marries. If she did the aisle
carpet would soon wear out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

1t is doubtful, however, that Presl-
dent Wilson will be able to induce the
Democrats to adopt the water wagon
as their party emblem.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

The fly is now in the same fix as
Cipriano Castro. An international
swatting campaign has been started
against him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESe

The State Journal is member OF the
Associated Press and receives the IulI u nr
telegraph report of that great news Ut
ganization for the exclusive AFTERNOON
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The state Jou.
nal brildin- over wires for this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

King Alfonso is going to do Paris
berlin and London, but apparently he
isn't interested in Havana or Nash
inptOn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

Illinois. ranks third in population il
the United States but in the matte
of U. S. senators it is at the very tai
of the procession.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

1t will be noted that'the Mexican ed1-
tor waited until he was we'll out Oh
Mexico before telling the public how
Madero met his death.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

AS though John Bull did not al
ready have worries enough with Ger
man airships and suffragettes, Secre-
tarv BRYAN has added his quota.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

A Chicago University professor proves
that the mother-in-law joke is 9'ooV
years old. But as a joke the Chicago
University professor can't claim any
such distinction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-24

The annual egg rolling will take place
in washington next Monday. The log
rolling will begin about two weeks