davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1913-09-12

John d. Howard who is exploring
lands in 93-9 with a diamond drill
is meeting with satisfactory results.
VIM. Mccarthy is doing the drill
ing.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

just been saying that we need an aristocracy. No.
body who knows DR.. Gunsaulus imagines for mo-
ent that he wants an arstocracy of privilege. Blu:
he SEES as all true Democrats do that democracy
that is to endure does not mean incompetence and
the rule thereof, mere proper distribution of the
loaves and the fishes of industry mere freedom
to share in the induIgences of the moment. A
democracy without superior class, fostering culture
and knowledge; seeing the value of birth and breed
ing when these are associated with serviceabe and
helpful living, conserving great traditions and not
only proving all things, but also holding fast what is
good, is worthless procession of temporalities and
fads
There will be an aristocracy in the newest de-
mocracy. But it will be of character, culture,
and service. Nor can we get it too soon.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
Q d]@7gggg1 @7gg1io50v

at the grocer's and the butchers that
no servant girl would stay with them.
Mrs. Jarr would say no more as to
Mr.. Jarr's present relations with his
firm.
Mrs. Rangie even told all about the
operation her well-to-do cousin, a
bakers wife. contemplated.
You know, Mrs. Jarr," she added,
my cousins husband has lots of
money. and he denies my cousin moth
ing. So he said to her. What will It be.
Sis? Che aiwsy calls her Sis) a trip
to Europe or an opetation?' OF course
continued the visitor, my cousins hus-
band can afford his wife every luxury
her heart desires. SO she Is going to
have a very dangerous operation by one
OF the highest priced and most fashion
able surgeons. 1t will cost thousands
and thousands. She's the lucky thing.
my >cousini But. then. her husband has
his own business. He isn't depending
on a small salary like my husband and
yours,"
This last remark was the verbal cork
screw and conversational can opener.
Mrs. Jarr smiled In a superior manner
again and said:
why, my husbands salary-but
theret How stupid Of me! I promised
not to say a word"
Mrs. Rangle ran right into old Mrs.
Dusenberry as she was entering her
fiat. i've just come from the Jarrs."
said Mrs. Rangle. 'Mr. Jarr has had
his salary doubled-but / promised not
to tellr'
Mrs. Dusenberry, who had no caste
prejudices, met Gus wife in the butcher
shop a few minutes later and remarked
how rejoiced she was that Mr.. Jarr was
getting such big money where he work
ed.
Gus wife spoke Of IL to Mrs. Schmidt.
wife of the delicatessen dealer. who told
Mrs. Slavinsky. and Mr.. Slavinsky told
Mrs. Stryver's cook while putting glass
in the basement window and when Mrs.
Stryver learned of II from her maid she
told her husband that Mr.. Jarr had
bought out his boss business.
by Jove, Is that so?' cried Mr..
Stryver. I'VE must give them a dinner!
They are charming people! l wcnder
where he got the money? After we
give the dinner. or before II, talk lot
about the diamonds / got YOU when l
made that money in oil stocks. I don't
think he'd fall for mining stock. do
you?
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

respite 1 found my friend behind the
desk He was clerking at the hotel
Looking for you all evening he
began, cheerily. This Is my night on
and I couldn't hunt you up. Just my
lick i have been watching that regis
Ter for two years for some one from
Dallas to talk to-
What brings you up this way- I
asked.
Debt. deviltry and desire to trayek
II wanted to see the North. The North
s. funny place. Every one wants to
know what you can do when you go
boxing for job. Down South they
hire you as man. Up here they en-
p;oy you as machine. They want
only experienced help How's a man
% get any experience II they won't hire
your
Just then one of my customers came
IN for cigar and the clerk had TO In
t-oduce me to the man as a friend from
his home town. The customer looked
me over rather doubtfully for a minute
kept a straight face and got away
With It, but II was some task The next
morning l had to lie some more. l
rally worked harder In that town to
get away with my Texan nativity than
did to sell my goods. Never WIN lie
again for dollar and a half It's too
snail a sum-.
Go on, I've seen you do 1t lots of
tines to save a quarter excess baggage
charge" said the lining man.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
VALE, M'CABE!

The Honorable George P McCabe too long
altogether Iong-soiicitor of the Department Of
Agriculture, has resigned to take effect March 4
In view of very excellent reasons for belief that the
copper toe the Wilson right boot placed there
with special reference to detailed plans for sepa.
rating the Honorable McCabe from his solictorsnip
we can but regard his resignation as a formality.
Ii is good to know that Mr.. McCabe is going II
will be the most notable act of public service he has
rendered since he became ornament to the salary
list and obstacle to enforcement of the pure food
laws.
Further, if is pleasing to know that ne will live
hereafter in Portland Ore That is about as far away
frop Washington as he could get
Il With caEnger in Seattle and McCabe in Port
land, the division of honors between the two great
rival cities of the Pacific northwest will continue bai-
anced to a nicely. ...
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
What's on the Program, in
Washington Today

Meeting of Canton Washington, No
IL. o. o. F.. monthly cantonment, to-
night.
Meeting of the Federation of Citizens
Associations. Chamber of Commerce
rooms, Twelfth and F streets north.
west, 7:3O p. m.
Annual dinner of the North Carolina
Society. the Raleigh, 7:30 D. m.
Annual dinner OF the Washington Col
lege Of Law, Rauscher's, tonight.
Amusements.
National-"The Quaker Girl" e:l5 and
peiasco-"Zaza," and p. m.
Columbia-"The Sunshine Girl" 2:15 and
cSases-Polite vaudeville. 2:I5 and Sis
paI,EVaudeviIIe. afternoon and evening
Academy-"Sis Hopkins" 2:15 and Sis
p. m.
Cosmos-Vaudeville.
Casino-Vaudeville.
Lyceum-"B Burlesquers," els
Gsyety""college Girl Burlesquers." s:ls
and s:16 .. m.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
CORPORATION COUNSEL THOMAS.

Chairman Johnson of the House District Com
mittee, as an incident to running amuck with the
District appropriation bill, delivered himself of
bitter attack E. H. Thomas, Corporation Counsel
for many years. Mr.. Johnson found excuse for his
speech in the provision for raising Mr.. Thomas sal
/ ary from S4,5OO to $1,000 year, which he forced
out on point of order.
l. In Mr.. Thomas behalf, though he needs no de-
Tense against Johnsonian assaults it may be said
that he is easily the poorest paid general counsel of
any large interest in Washington No other business
enterprise gets good law service for as low a
price as the District pays MIR. Thomas ~
We do not know the reason for tine Johnson crouch
against Mr. Thomas, unless it be that Mr.. Thomas
is particularly capable, honest and devoted to the
public interest.
i We do know, however, that from the day when
Mr.. Thomas filed bill in equity to restrain the mef-
ger and imitation of the franchised corporations of this
town We have anticipated attacks on MIN and vicious
efforts to break down his hold the public conf
dence Fr-r
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

<rY SAW MIR. Jarr rushing Tor the
car this morning" said Mrs.
Rangle, who had dropped in to
find out the name of the en-
| brocation that had done the Jarr chill
dren so much good when they had
whooping cough
Yes, there Is an important meeting
Of the board Of directors today" said
Mrs. Jarr with an important mysterious
air. You know how II is with Mr..
Jarr. They simply can't do anything
without him down at his office!"
We'll, he looked to me like a man
rushing as hard as he could to avoid
being late because he was afraid his
firm COULD do without him." retorted
Mrs. Rangle.
Mrs. RangIe thought it about time,
anyway, to give Mrs. Jarr a little dig.
Because. after all. the Jarrs We're no
better than the Rangers. and II Mrs.
Jarr thought they were any better
simply because such Goldfish aristocracy
and get-rich-quick society toadies as
Mrs Stryver and Clara Mudridge-Smfth
called for her in their automobiles once
in a while. Mrs. Jarr was very much
mistaken! Very much mistaken indeed, |,
Mrs. Jarr affected not to see the
gauntlet that had been thrown down
Really. as she afterward said. the only
way to keep the well meaning but en-
vious middle-class people In their places
is TO ignore their innuendoes.
Mrs Jarr could tell you that a calm
air. a superior smile battles that sort Of
people.
toA at har
theirs back all the higher. But raise an
eyebrow and they are bewildered.
Yes. as Mrs. Jarr would tell you, the
Rangles were worthy people-oh, very
worthy people, and, really. for their sta
ton in life, quite intelligent-not refined,
Won know, Of course, but good. whole
some people, lacking in tact and having
no noise. but sturdy and all that sort Of
thing. But then-oh. Well, my dear.
YOU know.
So Mrs, Jarr smiled her sweetest and
laughed meaning laugh, and re-
marked:
Mr.. Jarr will stay with his firm OF
course. He couldn't Very well refuse
after-but what am l SAYING!
And although Mrs. Rangle. now in a
thoroughly awed attitude OF mind.
STAYED on and hinted. and laid traps,
she could not CLEAN n word further from
Mrs. Jarr as to why Mr.. Jarr had
rushed downtown to the special meeting
of the Board of Directors Of his firm
unles II was he was angry at them
ana was going to discharge them.
in vain Mrs Rangle unpacked all her
budget OF local information about the
people who had been put out OF the fiat
above them for nonpayment OF rent:
and Of the people across the way who
dressed so we'll but who spent so little
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

NE rainy afternoon i gos
into Alton. H.. said the pa
" lama salesman, 'and as
climbed into the hotel bus
the colored driver gave me some sensi-
BILE advice.
I see by your luggage that You are
from New York Mister, let me tell you
all something: II you-all registers from
New York they charge you s. day
What do they charge otherwiser
asked him.
"A dollar and half-and most of
them that ! tells tips me- replied the
colored man. / handed him a quarter
and we drove to the hotel. i registered
my name and write Dallas, Tex after
II. turned and saw a large shefty, man
standing. with a broad grin, over me.
Give me youi hand. partner he said
You're the first man I have seen from
my home town of Dallas In two years.
Now. 1t happened that I had never
been in Dallas. and I had registered
from there because 1 thought 1t was
sufficient distance from New York to
get any cheap rate that was going.
"As soon as possible sneaked away
and went to a show. When I returned
to the hotel after couple hours OF
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
PRUNING THE DISTRICT APPROPRIA-
TIONS.

I; Thoroughly to understand the legislative situa.
zion of the District appropriation bill IN the House
i; is necessary TO bear in mind tnat while the
ittee District Of Columbia handles general leg
sation for the District the Appropriations Committee
makes up the District budget of appropriations
The District Committee having been practically
on strike for long time past abdicating its powers
and negectng its duties the Appropriations Commit
tee attempted to do for the District few of the
things, through the mediumshp of the supply hiIi,
which the District Committee mas negecred Techni-
caIly the appropriation bill may under the rules ory
provide money TO run the District administration; it
cannot, if single member makes poirt of oc!e:
write new legislation into the statutes for the Dis
'trict.
Chairman johnson, being determined that just
as little possible of worthwhile legislation for the
District shall get past his committee, has made it
part of his policy to stand, knife in hand, over the
appropriation measure, and stab every effort through
that bill, to accomplish things tnat the :orcrunity
needs done, but that his own committee has failed
to do. He will neither do these things himself nor
allow the Appropriations Committee to do them Yes
terday he was rather more savage than usual as he
barked and bit at one provision after anotle. from
the security of his point-of-order manger.
Such spectacle as has been afforded by the ap-
preparation BILL efforts to this gantet ought to
be watched and understood thoroughly by the people
Sof Washington, and by every friend the Capital has
in Congress. Without reference to their general
views about the present form of government For The
District, surely intelligent serious-nnded public men
must recognize that it is travesy legislation and
an outrage against community to permit such con-
ditions these to dominate the great business of
5legslating for the National Capital
II is true that the Senate very commonly comes
to the rescue, with its sane recognition of Inc fact
that Washington has rights; but the House sit
iuation is fast becoming uncomfortable. 1t is impos-
tsble for the Senate alone to undo all the wrongs
which imposed by reason of this hostile attitude
Of Chairman Johnson.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

Another thing about the laundries:
We're only too glad to have them sew
buttons IN our shirts, when Necessary.
but we'd appreciate 1t more IL thev.d
put the new buttons within. say, half
an inch OF the place where the old onrs
were. Our laundry has a neat little
habit of sowing a button on the frs,
place that comes handy. the resultant
undulating effect. when the shirt Is
donned, being, as in the advice to Laer-
tes, "neat, nut mnsc'ily
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
SOLVING POVERTY'S PROBLEMS.

We can all agree with some of the things said by
the lady who, speaking before a Club for Political
Study on The Solution of Povertys Problems" ex-
planned how some of her sex were suffering from the
cost of foolishness rather nan living cost But she
has not found the solution of the problem for the
poor, who are the severest sufferers from the high
cost of living.
1t is true enough that many women and men,
when they have the money to waste, do waste some
of it. But how much money does woman in a
sweatshop from ten to fourteen hours day for S6
week, waste on anything? And, her long hours of
labor for her small wage and her few hours of aten-
ton to her children taken out of her day. now much
time has she TO waste her Sc week in window
shopping or wandering through the stores?"
Nobody seeks to defend throwing away dollars
or pennies. But the cost of living problem is Shrek
ing for solution in behalf of hundreds of thousands
who work all their days. with all the power that is in
them and rarely find penny to waste on anything.
If lecturers could convince their hearers of the
folly Of w.ste and induce them devote il to others
who nave no money to waste that would be work
worthy of high commentator. But for anybody to
offer suspension of "gadding as the Solution of
Povertys Problems" is painful farce.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
Up to Secretary.

n n RS. ESTHER PRoUTY. Of
M Fort Wayne, is the inven-
lvl tor of baby silencer-an
ingenious contrivance. which
without discomfort to the baby, stills
its raucous cries
1t seems almost impious," said Mrs.
Prouty. as she demonstrated her inven-
ton, to try. to silence a baby II
seems like interfering with Providence.
When l first came out with my sill
grant
Are you friendly disposed toward
American institutionsT this immigrant
was asked. when he went to take out
his naturalization papers.
81 signor, said the Italian.
Does the present Government suit
your
81 signor; all right: but 1 would
like to see less snow.'"-Pittsburgh
Dispatch.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
GOOD STORIES

In the winter wien they might bask
here in white linen under the palms?
The Riviera reminds me Of the man
who opened boarding house at Sara
nae Lake and advertised 1t as a winter
resort
"A guest went up there, and. after a
brief soJourn, packed up, paid his bill,
and said:
How can you have the nerve to
advertise this place as a winter resort
when the thermometer for the past
week has registered s below,'
The landlord looked aerieyed-
Well, that's winter. amt it?. he ex-
claimed II . below amt winter, I'D
like to know what isr "-Washington
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
The HeckIer.

imp speaking is the hard
c. est work in the world, "
se:d Senator Beveridge. 1T
3 a-pecially hard he con-
DDS ..:..i,;ns. when there are heck
l-rs ia tts s-dieace.
~ r-f.., II mine the other day was
kett.rg cE famously in a stump speech.
Gentlemen" he shouted, a man is
known by his words.
And he paused impressively. But q
heckler took advantage OF the pause to
yell:
Then yours must be gas works. !"
MINNEAPOLIS Journal.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

We are the last to ridicule progres.
siveness, particularly when applied to
craftsmanship; but the thing can be
taken too far. A haberdashers clerk,
to whom we applied for common
every day comb, tried to sell US an elab-
crate travelling set in a leather case
his point being that It contained a
comb. Which nobody can deny.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
THIS& THAT
Wnh Sometimes a ZHtIe ofthe okAe-
Plots of the Motion Pictures

=
THE MooNsHINER's DAUGHTER.
You take a sturdy mountaineer;
A daughter, brave and plucky;
A secret service volunteer
And put 'em in Kentucky.
The girl prefers the honest way;
She knows the thing is risky
(Referring, we forgot to say,
To fabricating whisky.
The governmenter, ev'ry inch,
Is some intrepid fella;
He volunteers to make the pinch
And runs across Luella.
They'll murder you'll" she cries. "Turn
back!"
He answers, 1t should fret him.
He pushes onward, toward the shack,
And dad and comp'ny get him.
They drag him to the cave at night,
Amid the gin and brandy,
And tie him to some dynamite
That happens to be handy.
They cuff and otherwise abuse
The poor defenseless hero;
But after they have lit the fuse,
Their business there is zero.
But who's the fearless little maid
Who lamped the whole proceedins7
And who viii come to Harold's aid?
Give up? Then keep on reading.
Luella is the fair-queen-
We knew you couldn't guess her
And now, the thrilling rescue scene
(Some shaky stuff, professor).
Distress, emotion, agony,
Excitement, agitation!
But finally she gets him free;
And then-the detonation!
But what is that1 Aha! Some one
Is on the ledge, above 'em.
The girl good luck, has brought q gun;
They kill couple of 'em.
A fight; he slays the final knave,
And just the fathers living.
Sometimes he says that he'll behave;
Sometimes he dies, forgivng.
And now there's nothing in their way; |
Their happiness is certain.
So, too, there's nothing more to say:
He kisses her, and |
(Curtain).
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
RE-ENTER THE LAUNpRIEs

RE-ENTER THE LAUNDRIES.
G. S. X: If you're not too busy run
ming the inaugural proceedings. would
you mind getting after the laundry that
starches the collar-button-hole at the
back of my shirts to such good effect
that can never find it? I always for
get and put on Ihe shirt before piercing
the hole. and then waste fifteen min
utes feeling for the darned thing before
deciding to take off the shirt and get Mt
IL IN earnest d. ]. b.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
PHOTOGRAPHIC BROMIDIOMs

1T didn't hurt Bit
I'm afraid I'll break the camera"
"I don't know why It is, but 1 never
take a good picture"
Il haven't had a picture taken since
was six years old. l don't believe in
it"
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
A Real Winter Resort.

y UTHER BURBANK, the plant
wizard. said, as he gathered a
bouquet of violets In Santa Rosa
on brilliant December morning:
"Why do so many of our misguided
people shiver and cough on the Riviera
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
BIames Back leus.

Pantomome manager Come along with
that elephant, What's keeping It?
Stage Hand-It's the back legs. cir.
He's found out that the front legs get
thruppence night more than e does.
He refuses to go on unless e gets the
same.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

Gentlemen:
I'VE inclose corrected invoice for your
recent order, and call attention to the
change in price from 40c to 45c per
gr. We trust you will pardon the mis-
take in the first invoice, as this was a
typical error on the part OF our stenoR
rapher."
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

What, do you think. would be an apt
characterization of an annoying sales
lady, who harrows one into a condition
of vexatious perturbation. or words to
that effect?
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

Singular. Here it's less than a month
to MIR. Wilson's Inauguration and no
one has raised the question of what to
do with him as an ex-President.
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
THE NEWEST DEMOCRACY.

Somebody had to say it finally, and it was merely
question as to who would do it. DR.. F. w. Gun
saulus. head Of the Armour Institute in Chicago has
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

AT 1851 wisconsin avenue. we are in
formed, is Mr.. +. A. Kerr. who, being
In the plumbing business. we trust isn't
one
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
Practice Makes Perfect.

"B 7: I; IL !: ;;:: 4:
the office of a prominent
Arkansas attorney, 'and I wants to git
a divo'ce FUN muh wife on de grounds
dat she has done been throwing things
at me for de last several yeahs.
"Ah. And nave any of the missiles
seriously injured you?"
"Sah? No. sab, She din't th'ow none
o. dem saft-uh ar-tickles at me; she
dess flung dishes and stove han'les, and
skillets, and a 'casional cat or dog. or
or suppin' datuhway. And dey didn't
none OF 'em hit me that Is, twill yit.
But wild all dis yuh practizin' some o
desc days she gwine to git TO be what
dey call a expert, and bust muh head :"
Woman Home Companion
The Washington times., 1913-02-01

A counter-irritant!
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
AND CONTENTS NOTED &"
Gentlemen:

being part OF letter received by a
local firm.D
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
The Man on the Road
One Lie-Then Others.
By H. T. Battin.

~ NE rainy afternoon 1 got
into Alton. H.. said the pa
. Jana salesman, "and as I
The Washington times., 1913-02-01
MR.. JARR IN RIGHT
AT LAST-(POSSIBLY

IT SAW Mr.. Jarr rushing for the
car this morning" said Mrs.
Rangle, who had dropped in to
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-11-21
INCREASED VALUE OF CANDY
Gain Of 65 Per Cent. In United States
During Period Population In
creased Per Cent.

In five years, according to the cen
sus of 1910, there was an increase of
SAT, 100000 in the value of the candy
produced In the United States. This
was gain of 55 per cent during a
period in which the population of this
country had grown probably not more
than 8 per cent.
These figures show the enormous
increase In the consumption OF candy
by Americans Children viii be
pleased to learn that eminent med
ical authorities are now satisfied that
pure candles are not injurious to the
health II eaten In moderation, II APP
pears that the drawback in permitting
the child to eat unlimited candy lies
in the absence of fat. "If," says
Prof Robert Hutchinson. "the parent
is warned to introduce sufficient
quantities OF the carbohydrates by
insisting upon the use of butter and
oils in the diet, the child may gener'
ally eat pure candy without detriment
and even with distinct advantage
This is useful information, but par
ents should still beware of the cheap,
adulterated article.