davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

A bunch of University students
wrote Bert Lesion Taylor's colyum in
we fail to pipe the improvement. How
ever, the students involved in that
joke-fest, probably consider it the
best on record.
We are in receipt of Col. Coburn 5
Eighteenth Biennial Report. 1t is a
lovely volume, well written and well
bound. Our criticism is that the front
1spiece is picture of mess of sheep.
Sheep reminds us of rabbit, and rab-
bit reminds us of Kansas legislature.
But the book is beautifully illus
trated-beyond the sheepish fronts
piece. All the branches of the har-
vester trust tree are represented in
the display of farming implements.
Furthermore, the helpful hen and her
socially prominent sister, who runs
more to eyebrows and feathers than
to eggs, are given several pages and
half-toneS- Taken as a whole, it is
charming book; the plot beats any
thing in the Saturday Afternoon Pest;
the love interest is carried through
the whole story, beginning with a pic
ture of sheep and ending with this
stirring passage:
"Wool-growing and marketing
(six illustrations.) 439-453.'
Attorney General Jawn Dawson re-
ports that the Leavenworth jointists
did not contribute to the Democratic
campaign fund. Thus the swattency
of campaign lies progresses progress
sively.
But it would take an army of inves-
tigators, armed with automatic swat
tiers, to swat all of them. The idea of
the campaign liar is similar to the
idea of the scientist referred to by
Dean Swift; to make two grow where
one grew before.
Advice to those who seek Hon Jules
Billiards. angora: it is not susceptible
to gas; you must meet it in a dark
place, while his Honor is homeward
bound after long hours at the mayors
office, and tap it gently, but firmly on
the coco with an axe.
Boston old maid has the right idea.
She says that unmarried women
should be taxed. That they are to
blame for their single condition is I'M
conference.-the. Any woman, II she
sets her mind on the job, can chase
some he-thing into a corner and hog
tie him.
Jack Supp wants to know when a
girl should quit having legs and be-
gin wearing limbs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
Egotism is always willing to work over
time.
Revenge is sweet-unless we have to eat
our own words
Many a man measures his Importance
oy his chest expansion.
All the yeast in the world wouldn' t
cause some men to rise to the occasion.
The man who doesn't believe in luck IS
generally the one who has had it all his
life.
The fellow who always has his hand out
seldom knows enough to grasp an oppor
tunity.
There isn't a whole lot of difference be-
tween being down and out and being used
UP and all in.
The trouble with the still, small voice
of conscience is that it seems to get stiller
and smaller.
Paradoxfcal as it may seem, the aver
age man will stand up for himself even
when he has to lie to do it.
Sillicus-'+M Mighty few of us get what we
want Cynicus-"No, but most of Us
get what we deserve
Rlobbs-"The trouble with Bighedde is
that he is stuck on an insurmountable OBJ
stacle' Slobbs-'Wha is it2 Blobbs-
Himself"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

was lost in the noise of the crowd, but
it satisfied Compton.
After blissful moment Elsie felt
that explanations were due. and told
the story of Uncle Jarvis's will.
WE'LL remarked the innocent Comp
ton, IF you had to satisfy a sporty
uncle it was lucky you happened on
balloon ascension that 1 was supposed
to write up
Happened" she cried. Happened.
Why do you suppose 1 ever dared to
think of such thing as a balloon as
eension? 1t was because I read in the
paper that you were to be therei'-
Copyright. 1913. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.1

IE-om the Chicago News.
Few men are better than they seem
to be.
Wise men caress women; fols try to
coerce them.
A rich and crusty spinster is pie for the
fortune hunter.
fussy man reminds us of a camel
always going around with his back up.
The sigh of a pretty widow is far more
effective than the smile of a maid.
Anyway, the rising generation usually
manages to get UP in time for reakfast-
After a young man falls in love he may
not take a tumble to himself until too
late.
1t may be we'll to remember that the
perils of getting rich quick are just as
great as ever.
Men who judge others by thNir own
standard often measures less than thirty
inches to the yard
When a woman can't find any excuse
for keeping her husband waiting she gets
ready ahead of time so she can sit around
and urge him to hurry UP
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
A VAIL FROM WALL STREET.

Wall street appears to be in a bad
way and as the financiers regard it as
the pulse of the business world there
is a considerable feeling of gloom in
that vicinity.
on the exchange are selling for less
than half what they once were.
Even Henry Clews, generally opti-
mistic, is much less SO now. In the
latest issue of his Peview he says:
General trade is still active as a
result of back orders, but there is a
marked hesitation in many lines of
business in the placing of new orders.
For this the tariff is partly RESPONSE
BILE. because no distributor or manu-
facturer is likely to stock up with mer-
chandise at present prices, if the lat
ter are to be lowered by tariff reduc-
lions. This it should be remem bered
means merely postponement of bust
ness, and not any actual curtailment
in the long run. for consumption is
going on meanwhile, and the gap
created by hesitancy must inevitably
be filled up later on. Insofar, however,
as reduction of the tariff may tend
to lessen profits, this is a disturbance
of real consequence.
Further on he voices a slight feeling
OF distrlst differing somewhat from
the sentiments expressed at the begin
ming of the present administration, and
says:
Business leaders are keeping a close
eye upon Washington to ascertain
how far our political leaders will go
in the direction of fomenting distrust.
1t is high time that our law makers
should come back to reason. The coun-
try has had altogether too much politi-
cal hysteria; too much persecution of
big business; too much law making;
too much government interference in
industrial problems that would better
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
FROM OTHER PENS
CANT AFFORD IT."


The wife of the vice president will
not keep a social secretary and she
doesn't hesitate to tell the awful truth
about the reason. 1t isn't that she
hasn't need of one. 1t isn't that she
doesn't want one. 1t is because she
cannot afford one"
That is a declaration CT independ-
enCe that ought to thrill millions OF
slaves to the task of keeping up ap-
pearances." The Marshall family also
sets a desirable example of domestic
harmony on this subject over which
many homes split The vice president
himself a few days ago remarked:
I'm going to keep what 1 have and
live within my income here. / can do
it, 1 think, with economy. 1 think
little economy won't hurt the Ameri-
can people-including me-"
This is true philosophy. There are
many preachers of economy, but most
of them preach it for the other fellow.
They bewail the cost of living and
dream of the simple life, but they are
more afarid of being thought poor
than of actually being So So they
struggle on under the load of automo-
biles and yield to the lure of the in
stallment shop, and, if they cannot put
UP any better bluff of prosperity, buy,
to use Mr.. Marshalrs happy phrase.
Christmas jewelry that turns green at
Easter"
To world obsessed by the trades
mans temptation: You must look
prosperous if you want to be respect
ed the -TarSfalls' blunt cant afford
it, comes as breath of fresh air.
How much more everybody could af-
ford that is worth while if he had
the nerve to defy the taboo on the
phraSel The vice president was COM
forting himself the other day with the
reflection that people wouldn't think
the worse of him because he was old
fashioned. Bless him, no. If they have
and sense they'll make his oId-fashion
new fashion.-New York Tribune.
TAXING UNMARRIED WOMEN.
A Boston woman, Mrs. Frank w
Page, who calls herself IAN old school
marm.'' has given novelty to the pro-
position to tax bachelors by advocat-
taxing of unmarried women as well as
unmarried men. 1t is worth IS a year,
she says, to some women to continue
teaching school or working in the
stores. And her proposition is accom-
panied by her assertion that 62 per cent
of the men in Massachusetts that can
afford marriage do not marry, most
of them deliberately.
Almost alwayc in discussion of the
bachelor tax it is presumed that single
men beyond a certain age should be taxed
because they escape marital burdens as
well as blessings The favorite argu-
ment is that women would marry If
? sked Mrs. Page asserts that they re-
fuse to marry when asked. Perhaps
the Massachusetts, lawmakers will ac-
cept her view and attempt an peri
ment that will be of profound interest
wherever the relations of men and
women to each other and to the state
are under discussion, which means
pretty nearly everywhere.-Chicago
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
HUNOR OF THE DAY

$50 your marriage has been unhappy.
Three years ago you appeared crazy to
marry" IT was, but 1 didn't know it,
Buffalo Express.
Ardent Suitor-"I lay my fortune at
YOUR feet" Fair Lady-"Your fortunei
didn't know you had one" Ardent Suitor
-"WeI ii isn't much of a fortune, but
IL will look large beside those tiny feet
Boston Transcript.
This dog of mine IS some dog, let me
tell YOU He has a wonderful pedigree -
II suppose you trace him away back TO
the dog Noah took into the ark Say,
this dogs ancestor didn't go into the ark;
script
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

II the Ohio Legislature passes the law
against wearing peek-a-boo waists and
transparent hosiery. there is likely to
be a great rush for the job of state
inspector.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

The Leavenworth Times says: Our
guess is that Secretary Bryan's sever
est test as a diplomatist will come
with his work for the 1916 nomination
and at the same time keeping Presi-
dent Wilson believing him loyal to the
administration" Evidently the Times
forgets the stunt Mr.. Bryan pulled off
at Baltimore.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

1t might be all right to appoint an
Indian as Indian commissioner, but
then some one would want a postmas-
ter named postmaster general.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Pat Cudahy says the time will come
when a man can sink his teeth in
porterhouse steak without mortgaging
his home. Being a beef baron. proba-
bly, he intends that brick for the
dentist
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Il sho' would lax ter git de job er
butler in dat White House. said
Brother Williams, "ef fer nuthfn' else
than ter feed my hungry dlmmycrat
white friends who been so long away
FUN de veal dey'Il smack dey mouths
so loud it'll be lax hallaluia an hap
by lam ter hear 'em."-Atlanta Con-
StitutiOn.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

King George has revived an old GUS
tom by opening parliament with the
crown upon his head. 1t may be he
merely desired to show that he hadn't
been using it to drive tacks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
FTUJ rEASE-O wTPr pEpORT
OF THF Associated PRFS'

The state Tourua1 Ga rrArnhe- ~ ~
A~-ocfated Press ar1 recetvea the f'ti "a"
felecranh ve1ort ~ that great news or
earIzstion for fine exclusive afternoon
rr-htI~o-Fou IN Tnnet-a
The news IS received IN The state Jou-
ral h,-iIdirS- over wires for this sole pur-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

The last surviving founder of the Re-
publican party has just Joined the last
Revolutionary soldier and the Oldest
Odd Fellow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

A New York loan shark has been
fined $3.50 for exacting $11 interest on
a loan of $40. Wall street can't stand
for such coarse work as that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Policemen may know little about the
painters art, but some of them are
familiar with branches of the actors.
For instance walking.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

A Chicago woman says corsets are
the mainstay of character and a cor
setless woman just cannot be good.
Maybe that's what's the matter with
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Pauline. the White House COW, has
gone from Washington. Probably she
heard that Mr.. Bryan demands a
pitcher of milk every evening as a
nightcap.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

General Castro is said to be plot
ting a revolution in Honduras. He
seems to be looking for a job that
won't require much effort.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

With two editors in the cabinet there
is some hope that the Congressional
Record will brighten up. at least to
the extent of printing scores of the
games
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

A deceased gentleman's housekeeper
has inherited most of his estate be-
cause she was kind housekeeper. This
is one of those facts that can't be given
too wide publicity
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

The Wilson policy toward our
southern neighbors is hands off, but
the use of the foot is not barred.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Porfirio Diaz says he will return to
Mexico If his country needs him. But
if his family needs him, he probably
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Vermont has abandoned ITS Septem
Der elections. What will the country
do now for a political barometer?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Perhaps the activities of the arson
trust have had something to do with
the high price of gasoline.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

According to a Chicago professor.
clothes are worn primarily for orna-
ment Then how does he account for
the derby hat?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Don't be too sure the Mexican crisis
is ended. A revolution proceeds in a
circle which has neither beginning nor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

There is a law in Utah pensionine
widows. The death of a Mormon elder
must make a heavy draft OF, the fund
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

PITY the moor hank clerks. There
are no HOLIDAYS in March-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

1t looks as though service as Unite
States ambassador at foreign capital
must be made compulsory.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

As soon as all women wear fender
on their hatpins the men can qui
carrying MINERS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Now is the time for all good hens
To come to the helm Of their country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26

Some newspapers call Bryan a War
wick and some Brutus. But at any
rate he is still very much on the map.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
KANSAS co4AENT
NEED OF TT

NEED OF 1T.
Word comes from Topeka that a little
pand of patriots up there has organized
Tor the purpose of studying needed re
| which will be the foundation of bills to be
introduced at the next session of the leg
fsIature. Attorney General Dawson is one
OF the men interested in the organization.
ms is a worthy purpose which the gen
telmen propose to devote their time. Laws
nowadays must be made to fit a rather
complex state of society and in framing
them not only good sense but a wide
range OF accurate information is needed
IN making them SO that they will serve
the purpose intended.
one OF the most noticeable facts abou.
the legislature just closed was the half
baked character of the greater number of
the DIS introduced. Dozens of them that
had more than a grain of worth we9s
Killed because in discussing them il was
round that they couldn't work out as they
Killed the minimum hour law for women
was not so much the opposition of capital
now they would work out. This was the
case or the most of the bills which were
designed to affect deeply the economic
conditions prevailing. The legislators real
lzed that in passing these measures they
would be enacting a lot of guess work
into law, and rather than knowingly run
the rlsk OF making bad laws they maze
none on some subjects where the rigSt
sort OF legislation would probably be q
good thing. Yet conditions will not be
improved when the legislature meets
again two years from now unless some
body is at work in the meantime gather
ing data on which sound conclusions can
be formed. Judge Prices suggestion that
the 'enate create commission to study
the women's wage question and be pre-
pared to deal sensibly with 1t at the next
session was howled down by the en-
thusiasts, yet the Judge was on the right
track and was pointing the only way III
which laws that will stick can be made
affecting complex economic conditions.
More real study between sessions and
less grandstanding in the legislative halls
would be a real help to the laws of Kan
SaS.-Lawrence Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
A CRYING NEED.

Another veteran killed on the Pike He
fell against a street car was hurled to
the ground and when found he was dead
But II was not the street car that killed
George Hutchinson. 1t was whisky. Had
he been sober he would no have staggered
he been sober he would not have staggered
furnished him with the whisky is re-
sponsible for his death.
Every day veterans are seen staggering
along the Pike in an intoxicated condition,
unable to properly care for themselves
and the only wonder is that more of them
are not run down and killed. They afc
just as apt to stagger in front of an auto
mobile as to stagger away from it.
These veterans are getting old and
feeble, one or two drinks of the vile stun
sold on the Pike is enough to intoxicate
them and extreme care should be taken of
them. The Home authorities ought to
watch them with greater care and the
county authorities. who have jurisdiction
over the places where intoxicants are
sold ought to clean them out II is eX-
tremely disgraceful that these killings go
on year after year without diminution.
Clean up the Pipe.-Leavenworth Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-26
BY TIE WY
By HARVEY PARSONS

A bunch of University students
wrote Bert Lesion Taylor's colyum in
the Chicago Trib. for Monday, but
we fail to pipe the improvement. How
ever, the students involved in that
Joke-fest, probably consider it the
best on record
The evening world., 1913-06-14

wanted to borrow money from me
wanted me to drink-wanted me to stay
out late and have good time with
him. And when wouldn't he snatched
my other suit Of clothes In the package
and ram"
We'll. then. 1t 10 . good thing you had
your new suit on and not In tho pack.
age. But what have told you about
that man Jarr? How often have ] adj
vised you? How often have ! said to
you
And then, seeing Mr.. Rangle was fast
asleep. she ceased her plants and. go
Ing to the telephone. called up Mrs.
Jarr.
"Ok. yes. very we'll. thank YOU" she
replied in tones Of icy sweetness to
Mrs. Jarr's inquiries.
"Yes, the children are we'll. MT.
Rangle? oh. he's very we'll. too. Yes
he's fatigned and Is lying down. Is Mr..
Jarr homs?'
Mrs. Jarr replied over the wire that
Mr.. Jarr wasn't home as yet. Delayed
at the ONCE. she believed. by q meeting
Of the Board Of Directors. Mrs Jari
said this In q manner that implied Mr.
Jarr was q member Of the board.
well. will you have your little Willie
The evening world., 1913-06-14
FLAG DAY.

pssssnt ng dals from Juse a. t777 wh he cosnsntal Con-
os pa resolution ~ha the flag Of the Thirteen United States be
A srpea md whe, hat tAe Union thirteen stars
fdd representing constellation" This the first
efleA Designation a nsloaA su6aam.
Ahough NE origin a the design has been maer Of much
tiy discussion easiest 70 believe th from The
famny a 0sosg Washington Already Jan. i76 Csm
bAs Mss Washington Md Displayed flag designed BY Prank
III lya and Harrison consisting a thirteen stripes Of red and white
w ~ Union Jack In place Of the stripes beng blsic Of The
unioa Of the Thirteen Colonies an British oppression What
han that the designers SHOULD wish 10 honor he General
bsng bis nniy In s dssina whs natural thai h2
Coaerss shoxA pspstusss boeh design and complimA
ne village church BrgoA England Ne tos Of the great
and gestnes q George Washington Both stones bear
H. Warrington simple she crossed by tres horizontal stripes
abo which three vepontsd stars In British hrdy the stripes
q he Washington recorded atsrnae gues e and waite
@ 10Th the Washington and tie linked Ste ihg che
polnled though the elk pointed Probability
hsAy Be stronger Few would sssk Tor ~ Neg bs1 origin
The evening world., 1913-06-14
Copyright. 1918. BY Ths p
U.-MlIinerv.
TODAY millinery forms a Va

TRIVIAL millinery forms q very I'm.
portant branch Of business; AZ.
fording employment to many wo-
men. In millinery, even more than In
dressmaking. there are certain inherent
qualities that a person must possess In
order to win success. While miilinsrs. II
10 true. can be trained. an Unborn liking
for making and trimmtog hats u . very
valuable asset.
Good TASTE" as well a. "knack." 10 Of
paramount importance in this work. The
ability to give certain twists to . hat
that at once changes II from the COM
monplace TO something beautiful and
worth while 10 q Gift that should b.
cultivated and encouraged. A sense Of
what Is becoming 10 OF great value. -
II general artistic sense. Also. tact In
handling all sorts Of people II essential
for the successful millinery worker. Any
young woman who possesses all these
qualities would do we'll to take up mil.
hnery as her profession. for she would
be fairly sure OF success.
Millinery can be learned at home. But
this method 10 not advisable. The best
and surest way to master the achieve
The evening world., 1913-06-14
How to Choose Your Occupation
The Duties Chances and Salaries Various Lines of Work
=By Cells K. Husik-

y ~ V"e NeN iork Evening Wofid).
ment Is to apprentice ones self 20 Suc-
cessful milliner. In this way an the
details and methods Of making ana
trimming hats are learned. Many nj.
liners pay small weekly asm 70 VASlr
apprentices. The girl with sxcspt1oaai
ability win be able to 70 ahead 70 -.
or and better positions after Q ynfs
practical experience with Q nslI1inaa
AiAiners earn from no Per week -
The hioh class artistic miiinses = NV
York earn a. high ~ si0o pr voek -
even moro But II must b rsmsmbwol
that the h gh paying positions ~ so0p
paratively few and the workiil9 oeoeon
% short. Twice each year, dusisg Oe
winter and summer. even the budnt
nllliners have their slack perioAa A
trained mhliner with good business -
ity may develop . trade Of her IN.
which after while may become {
profitable. wal paying bustnssA
II you desire success In millinery. d
sure before you 70 into Il that you -.
sess the proper qualifications Tor nc
eess-namely. good taste. artistic sense,
. knaok In handling materials ana ~
m dealing with people. With thee you
are certain TO succeed.