davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
The way to Do Il.


According to an authority on the
subject this is the proper way to treat
Him"
When you marry him, love him.
After you marry him, study him.
If he is honest, honor him.
If he is generous, appreciate him.
When he is sad, cheer him.
When he is cross, amuse him.
When he is laxative, listen to him.
When he is Quarrelsome. ignore
him.
If he is slothful, spur him.
II he is noble, praise him.
If he is confidential, encourage him
II he is secretive, trust him.
If he is jealous, cure him.
II he cares naught for pleasure
coax him.
If he favors society, accompany him
II he does you favor, thank him
When he deserves 1t, kiss him.
Let him think how we'll you under.
stand him.. but never let him know
that you manage" him.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Power to Be peveIoped.

The wise and wholesome restraints
of parental love. of family ties, of a
good government, of public opinion,
and even of social observances, are
the best possible preparations for that
selfrestraint which is the rock on
which all true liberty is built.
No slavery is so abtect and humiliat-
ing as that which chains us in servile
obedience to our own appetites and
passions. and no power on earth can
free us from such bonds except the
power OF self-restraint. This power,
like all others, is developed by con-
tinual exercise, and he who resists or
condemns all external restraints shuts
himself out from this development.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
NOT A TASK TO BE ENVlED
Serving on English Juries Some Cen
turtles Ago Had Many and
Varied Disadvantages.

Not always enviable was the lot Of
the old time juryman. For there was
always the prospect of trouble if the
verdict did not crafty the higher pow
ers. Thus the failure of jury to con-
vict Sir Nicholas Throckmorton made
Queen Mary Ill for three days." and
she came out of her sick chamber to
fine the disobliging jury meanwhile
confined in PRISON. the sum of $4,000
a head. Elizabeth followed the same
plan, and the practice of filming Eng
fish juries did not cease until 1870,
when fine inflicted by the notorious
Jeffreys was rescinded on appeal
In some old time courts of quarter
sessions" the injunction to lay their
heads together had to be carried out
by jurymen in literal fashion When
they began to consider the verdict
they were supposed to dive beneath
the level of the jury box and remain
in that cramped position until deci-
sion was reached.
Meanwhile, the court usher stood
near the box armed with long wand
of willow. II any juryman ventured to
emerge above the surface before the
twelve minds were agreed, down came
the wand on the head of the offender.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
HELPED OUT FROM THE BENCH
Young Lawyer at Least Had the En-
enlargement Ct the Judge Up
to a Certain Point.

young lawyer is the hero Of this
story. At least, he was young when
the incident occurred. Now his name
is SO prominent in legal circles that
it would be unkind to reveal it.
He was defending a criminal and, in
doing SO. was making his first appear
ance in court.
The unfortunate client for whom 1t
is my privilege to appear he said,
his tongue and lips dry and thick;
the unfortunate client; your honor,
whom | am defending ahem!
Il will repeat, your honor, the un-
fortunate man whom | here represent
i might say, this most miserable
and unfortunate man"
Just then the judge leaned forward
and said, in soft, encouraging man.
ner:
You may proceed. sir So far the
court is with you."-Popular Maya
zine.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
NEW YORK ASSEMBLY VOTES TO
TRY CHIEF EXECUTIVE OF
THE STATE.
HELD STORMY NIGHT SESSION
Charges Are Specializing With Cam.
pagn Funds and High Crimes and
Observation-Disclosures on
Stock Market and Urged
Legislation Against It
At Same Time.

Albany, N. Y. Aug. 12-The report OF
the Frawley legislative committee
charging Governor Sulzer with having
diverted campaign funds to his own
private use was adopted by the leg
isiature today and a resolution to i'm
peach him for "willful and corrupt con-
duct in office and for high crime and
misdemeanors," was offered in the as
sembly by Majority Leader Levey.
The conclusions of the Frawley COM
mittee, embodied in its report to the
legislature. are that Governor Sulzer
falsified under oath on his campaign
contribution account, diverted some of
thees contributions to the purchase of
stock, speculated in stock at the time
that, as governor. he was earnestly
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15

pressing legislation against the New
York Stock exchange, punished legis-
lators who opposed him by vetoing
their bills, traded executive approval
of bills for support of his direct pri-
mary measure, and did everything in
his power to conceal proof and OBJ
struct the Frawley committees efforts
to bring it to light.
I'VE submit to the senate and as
sembly," the report recites. chat the
facts stated are sufficiently serious In
character and are so violatiye of the
laws of the state and the rules of fit
ness for and conduct in high office
that the public interests demand some
action thereto, whether through the
exercise of powers of the legislature,
or by referring facts and evidence to
other duly constituted officers charged
with duties in respect thereof"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Selfish Fishermen.

In Weldon Grossmith's reminis-
cences From Studio to Stage" he de-
votes a whole chapter to fishing sto-
ries, and tells of his friend, Heather
eiff, who annoyed him frequently by
asking him for a match while angling
during intensely cold weather To
supply the request meant pulling in
his line, christening mis- macintosh,
then the overcoat and finally the un-
dercoat. But then who can grudge
so small thing as match? Gros-
smith writes: THE second day we
fished it was positively colder. Heath
er Biff's pipe had gone out as usual.
Weldon, got a match?' 1t suddenly
occurred to me he must have brought
matches with him or how did he light
his pipe-so l answered, Not
What nuisance!' he replied, and
drew in his line, undid his mackin-
tosh, then the overcoat and undercoat,
and, at last, took out box of matches.
Why said. you've got your matches
with you Yes he replied. But
didn't want to catch cold getting
them
anglers not only become liars, but
they become utterly selfish, but never
fools, as DR.. Johnson dubs them.
have come across anglers who are
cads. snobs, liars. knaves. and even
. thieves. but never fools!"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
ITCHING TERRIBLE ON LIMB

r. F. D. No. 3, Clarkfield, MIMI.
my trouble was of long standing. 1t
started with some small red and yell
low spots about the size of pin head
on my leg and every morning there
was a dry scale on top covering the
affected part and when those scales
were falling off the itching was more
than could stand at times. The first
year did not mind 1t so much as 1t
was only itching very badly at times,
but the second year 1t advanced all
around my leg and the itching was
terrible. had to be very careful to
have my clothing around the affected
part very loose. At night time often
happened to scratch the sore in my
sleep Then had to stand up, get out
of bed and walk the floor till the spell
was over.
II bought lots of salves and tried
many different kinds of medicine but
without any success. got cake Of
Cuticura Soap and a fifty-cent box Of
Cuticura Ointment and when l had
used them was nearly over the Itch
ing. But kept on with the Cuticura
Soap for six weeks and the cure was
complete" (Signed) s. o. Gordon.
Nov. 20, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. l., Boston. ADV.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
SHERIFF. SELLS A COLLEGE.
Oklahoma Baptist Institution at Black.
well Bought by Mortaagor.


Blackwell, Okla, Aug. 12-The Ok
lahoma State Baptist college was sold
Monday by the sheriff to satisfy a
mortgage held by the State Life In.
surance company of St. Louis, Mo. The
claim amounted to $4,000 which
amount was bid successfully by the
company's attorney. There we're no
other bids. The property involved con-
sists of the main college building and
fifteen acres of ground, valued at $780,.
900. The citizens of Blackwell have
from time to time donated more than
$4,000 to the institution.
The lack of support by the Baptist
people of the state Is given as the dk
rect cause of the loss of the college.
The people of Blackwell think they
have done their part to support the
school. There are over eighty thou
sand Baptists in the state.
The Masonic Grand Lodge of the
state has had a committee looking
over the property and it is the general
belief that when the Masonic home is
relocated 1t will be upon the college
site. The loss of number Of buildings
at the Masonic home at Darlington has
resulted in decision of the board OF
control OF the grand lodge to select a
new location. This matter will be de-
termined in the near future.
The Blackwell Commercial club and
city council are offering low rates on
water and electricity to the committee
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Fish Not Wanted.

'T hear you're going to marry
Archie Blueblood, Diana. Is 1t true?"
asked one young society woman of
another.
Marry him! l should think not!
What on earth could l do with the
man? He can't ride, he can't play ten
mis-, golf, nor, for that matter, can
he even drive a motorcar!"
"Oh," said the friend, but he can
swim beautifully, you know"
Swim, indeed! Now, / ask you,
would you like a husband you had to
keep in an aquarium"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Rioht and Left

Pat, who was left-handed, was being
sworn in as a witness in the west
side court of Denver, Colo.
Hold up your right hand" said the
judge.
Up went Pats left hand.
Hold up your right hand" COM
manded the judge. sternly.
Sure. and l am, yer honor" de-
clared Pat. me right hands on me
left-hand side" Woman Home Com.
panion.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
CLEVER POSTCARD CIPHER
Simple In Construction, but VIII Foil
All Efforts Of Unlnitlated to
Read the Message.

Postal cards would undoubtedly be
in much greater demand than they
are for purposes of correspondence
but for the fact that the messages
they convey are open to all through
whose hands they may pass. Yet this
objection is easily overcome. There
ere some beautifully simple ciphers
that are almost impossible for anyone
not in the secret to read. Only by
luck, for instance, can even the ex-
pert find the key to a short message
written in the "trellis" or grill CT
pher. 1t is extremely simple and
thousands of people use it to battle
folks who take an interest in the con-
tents of postcards. To use it, all you
have to do is to cut a few oblong
holes in a blank postcard, place 1t
over the postcard you mean to write
on, and write your message in the
holes. Then take the upper card off
and write some natural reading SEN
fences round the cipher words Any
inquisitive person reading the card
when 1t reaches your correspondents
house will find message of no inter
est whatever. Only your correspond
ent himself, or herself, can read the
cal message, and that by placing on
the card a blank card cut out ex-
actly the same way as your own.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Misconstrued.

An American motoring through a
small Scotch town was pulled up for
excessive speed.
Didn't you see that notice Dead
Slow" inquired the policeman.
Course | did," returned the Yam
kee, but thought 1t referred to your
burned little town!"-London Eve.
ming Standard.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
FITTING RECOGNITION.

In view of the fact that the mining
industry has contributed more than
$4,000 100000 to the wealth of the
United States during the last quarter
of century, it is not surprising that
1t is planned to make an impressive
display of this industry at the Pana-
maPacific International exposition, to
be held at San Francisco in 1915.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
New Industry.

Now that so many automobiles are
passing your house" said the visitor,
81 should think you would keep your
chickens shut up"
What" said the farmer; land cut
off my greatest income?"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Did He Get Her?

Her Father (sternly) Young man.
can you support my daughter in the
style she's been accustomed to?-
Lover-I can. but I'd be ashamed
to-Life
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
No Rest ThIa SIC the Grave.

Ascum-Do you remember the night
had to take you home from the club
In cab and
Nagget-Yes. indeed.
Ascum-I. don't suppose you have
heard the last of 1t yet?
Nagget-No. my wife's still living,
STRAY Stories.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
socIabIe Shave.

Hubbubs-Don't you miss a barber
out in the country?
Subbubs-Oh, no; talk to myself
all the time am shaving.-Philadel-
phia Record.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Boston Joke.

Wife with newspaper) What
next! Here's a woman mate Of ship
Fancy a woman sailor!
Hub-That's nothing new. Wasn't
Lots wife a female salt?
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
spItefuI Elaboration.

Tom-Will tells me that Miss Sipps
has a complexion of peaches and
cream.
Nell-So she has-yellow peaches
and sour cream.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Its Orinin.

81 believe the slit skirt was original
ly intended for the London arson.
ettess''
why for them?"
ITO make quick cutaway in"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
shorteomInq.

There is one Inconsistency about
the unwPitten law"
What is that7"
1T is not practiced by payless law
yers."-Baltimore American.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15

That girl who admitted she was
twenty-five in 1900 must be nearly
thirty by this time.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15

An egotist is a man who thinks he
is better than you are.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15

Before burning your bridges behint
you be sure they are fully insured.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15

Men, like watches. are valued by
their works.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Imnortant 70 Mothars

Examine carefully every bottle ci
CASTORIk, safe and sure remedy fol
infants and children, and see that II
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
Her Weapon Of offense.

$50 Miss, Jones cut you yesterday"
Eyes, She did It with her Ratchet
face"
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
such inaratrtuSsi

Briggs-So Nudge Is getting bet
ter?
Braggs-Yes, he will soon be all
right now. But, talking about sells,
you know we had nearly $10e raised
to put up nice monument for him,
as no one thought he could recover.
And now he comes round and wants
to borrow it to help pay his doctors
bill. What do you think of tnat?-
Stray Stories.
The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924, 1913-08-15
TRAIT Of the Town.

Queer case, this. Man is sane in
Virginia; insane in New York. Odd,
eh?"
"Oh, don't know. I'm always a
little bit dippy when I'm in New
York"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-23

would be the height Of i-manners for me to
rush out In the face of any one coming in?
An officer opened the door, and when we
saw who stood there / sure that the re-
porter as well myself, grateful that
we listened to the dictates of politeness. 1t
was young Mr.. Van Burnam-Franklin; mean
the older apd more respectable OF the two sons.
He was flushed and agitated, and looked as
If he would like to annihilate the crowd push
ing him about on his own stoop He gave an
angry glance backward as he stepped in, and
then | saw that a carriage covered with bag
gage stood the other side of the street,
fathers house alone.
What has happened? What does all this
mean?' were the words he hurled at lis as the
door closed behind him and he found himself
face TO face with half dozen strangers, among
whom the reporter and myself stood con-
spicuous.
Mr.. Gryce coming suddenly from somewhere
the one to answer him
"A painful occurrence sir. A young girl
has been found here, dead, crushed under
of your parlor cabinets"
"A young grill" he repeated. tOh how glad
I was that / had been brought up never to
In this shutup house? What young girl? You
mean old woman, do you not? The house
cleaner some one"-
mo, Mr.. Van Burnam, we mean what we
say. though possibly should call her a young
lady. She IS dressed quite fashionaby"
THE Really l cannot repeat In this
public manner the word which Mr. Van Bur
nam used. l excused him at the time but I
will no. perpetuate his forgetfuness IN these
pages.
she is stir lying as we found her." Mr..
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-23

Gryce now proceeded in his quiet, almost
fatherly way. viii you not take look at
her? Perhaps you can tell us who she is?"
"I?" Mr. Van Burnam seemed quite shocked
How should l know her? Some thief prob
ably, killed while meddlIng with other peoples
property"
Perhaps" quoth Mr.. Gryce, laoonically; at
which felt 80 angry, as tending to mislead
my handsome young neighbor, that irresist
bly, did what had fully made up my mind not
to do-that is. stepped into view and took
part IN this conversation.
How you say that" cried, when her
admittance here was due to young man who
let her in at midnight with key and then
left her to eat out her heart in this great house
all alone"
/ have made sensations In my life, but never
quite so marked a one as this. In an instant
every eye was on me, with the exception of
the detectives. His was on the figure crown
ing the newelpost and bitterly severe his
gaze was, too, though it Immediately grew
wary as.the young man started toward me and
impetuously demanded:
"Who talks like that? Why, it's Miss Butter
worth. Madam | fear l did not fully under
stand what you said"
Whereupon l repeated my words, this time
very quietly but clearly, while Mr.. Gryce con.
tinued to frown at the bronze figure he had
taken into his confidence. When ! had fin
ished. Mr.. Van Burnam's countenance had
changed, so had his manner. He held himself
erect as before. but not with as much bravo
do He showed haste and Impotence also,
but not the same kind OF haste and not quite
the same kind Of Impotence. The corners OF
Mr.. Gryce's mouth betrayed that he noted this
change, but he did not turn away from the
newel-post.
This is a remarkable circumstance which
you have Just told me-" observed Mr. Van Bur.
nam, with the first bow | had ever received
from him. Il don't know what to think Of 1t.
But stu hold that its some t4iss Killed
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-23

Il certainly am willing to tell you what
have told every one else" ! interposed, con-
sidering 1t better not to make an enemy of so
tudicious young man; and seeing him
brighten up at this I thereupon related all |
considered desirable for the general public to
know
l was about passing on, when, rejecting that
good turn deserves another, I paused and
asked him II he thought they would leave the
dead girl in that house all night
He answered that he did not think they
would That a telegram had been sent some
time before to young Mr.. Van Burnam, and
that they we're only awaiting his arrival to
remove her.
DO you mean Howard?" asked
rs he the elder one?"
No"
1T is the elder one they have summoned.
the one who has been staying at Long Branch
How they expect him then SO soon?"
Because he is In the city. 1t seems the old
gentleman is going to return on the New York,
and she Is due here to-day Franklin Van
Burnam has come to New York to meet him"
"Humph!" thought l. lively times are in
prospect" and for the first time remembered
given about some curtains which were to have
been hung that day, and all the other reasons
had for being at home
] must have shown my feelings. much as
pride myself upon my impassibility upon all
occasions, for he Immediately held out his arm
with an offer to pilot me through the crowd TO
my own house and l was about to accept 1t
when the door-bell rang so sharply that we
involuntarily stopped
"A fresh witness or telegram for the Coro-
ner," whispered the reporter in my ear.
II tried to look indifferent and doubtless
made out pretty we'll. for he added, after a sly
look In my face:
You do not care 70 stay any longer7"
made no reply. but think he was impressed
by my dignity. Could ne Sot see that il
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-23

Gid you sayt Really dead7 Well. ia have
given FIVE hundred dollars not to have had 1t
happen in this house"
He had been moving toward the parlor door
and he now entered it Instantly Mr.. Gryce
was by his side.
Are they going to close the door," whis
pered to the reporter who was taking this all
In equally with myself.
I'm afraid So" he muttered.
And they did. Mr.. Gryce had evidently had
enough of my Interference, and was resolved
to shut me out, but heard one word and
caught one glimpse Of Mr.. Van Burnam's face
before the heavy door fell to. The word was:
"Oh, SO bad as that How can any one rec
ognize her And the glimpse-well, the
glimpse proved to ms that he was much more
profoundly agitated than he wished to appear
and any extraordinary agitation on his part
was certainly in direct contradiction to the
very sentence he was at that moment uttering.
CHAPTER ~.
SiIos Van Burnops
HUOWEvER much may be needed at home,
IL I cannot reconcile It with my sense OF
duty to leave just yet" I confded to the re-
porter, with what meant to be proper show
Of reason and self-restraint: "Mr. Van Burnam
may wish to ask me some questions"
"Of course, of course" acquiesced the other
you ar, very right; always are very right I
should Judge"
AS [ not know what he meant by this l
frowned, always a wise thing to do In an I'M
certainty; that is-if one wishes to maintain an
air of Independence and aversion to dattery.