The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-21
ON THE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
By ROY X MOULTON.
81 ROY K MOULNON.

va Il 44A $1V1NA4Bx
By ROY K MOULTON.
Chickening.
Breathes there a man with soul SO dead,
" 40 never to himself hath said:
This is my own. my corner lot,
I'm very sure of this one thing,
I've got to raise some chicks this spring
Ind utilize my garden plot"
Breathes there man whose dream came
true,
As he expected it would do?
Did he raise fancy chicks lot?
Did he wax richer in that way?
Can amateurs make chickens pay?
Perhaps they can, but think not.
Signs of the Times.
Luther Burbank has invented a
seedless prune, which will tend to
shorten boarding house meals about
Is minutes.
But one kind of grape juice does
not make hit at the White House.
That kind is champagne.
The knickerbocker craze at Yale viii
not find an exponent in Prof. William
Howard Taft.
After the vice president has dis
cussed every subject from the aurora
borealis to the day of judgment it is
likely that he will subside and enjoy
the solitude of his mighty Office
Eminent scientist says that dande-
put 1t doesn't seem as though he could
De SO very eminent or he wouldn't rec
ommend anything so cheap.
Dr. Wiley says man does not reach
his highest efficiency until he is so
years of age. Let's see. Isn't that
about the doctors age?
Washington's smart set has decid-
ed to snub the Wilson administration
The Wilson administration seems to be
pretty lucky.
Fashion experts predict tighter skirts
Ior women. Then there will certainly
nave to De thinner women, that's all.
An eastern man bequeathed SIS, 900
to his wtfe's next husband. The next
husband will probably not be at ali
backward in coming forward.
Our Liars Department.
When moving day comes around it is
quite customary to load on everything
that is not screwed down or buried Now
man mas solved the problem whereby
even these things may be taken. He
cialns that cfsterns may be moved with
the rest OF the household effects with
perfect ease. Yeast cakes that are DOW
erful enough to raise anything from an
umbrella to one of wife's first biscuits
will be used to accomplish this feat By
digging hole just outside the cement
or brick and having it extended to a
ping in a few of the famous cakes just
await results. When the yeast begins to
exert Its power something has got to
give.
While enjoying her usual afternoon
stroll one day recently one of our aged
grandmas had a thrilling experience with
RATHER. AS she was passing by the
reptile he leaped from his lair and struck
his cruel fangs in her skirt. Her first
impulse was to strike the reptile and
cause him to release his hold on her
garments, but fearing worse conditions
might arise by SO doing she felt that the
last resource was to run to some place
her in
creased with every step. AS she turned
a sharp corner she was going at such
a terrific rate of speed that the head of
the reptile was snapped asunder from it's
body. The snake Is dead and grandma is
alive and we'll and daily relates this
thrilling story to happy group of in
terested grandchildren.
From the Hicl<eyviIle Clarion.
Our old friend Doc SINNERS is suffer
ing much pain these days. He sent to a
mail order house for some false teeth and
they sent him set of woDen's teeth by
mistake, and Dos did not know the diff
mouth, and his jaws commenced to flop !
up and down and they have Topped so |
fast ever since that Doc can't catch a hold |
for
Anse Frisby placed an order for a new
oatmobile down in the city the other day |
will have a splendid finish" Anse said:
I'm glad of it. The last one 1 had, had |
a fierce finish 1t tried to butt a street |
car off the track"
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Frisby are certain
ly getting into the plutocrat class They
had liver for dinner the other day.
Lem Belts is gettin' sort of spleened
agin them mail order houses. He ordered
a dozen strictly fresh eggs. by parcel post
the other day and when they came, one of
EN- had a note written on it in lead pen
ILL the message bein dated April Z. 1911.
Miss Hepsibad futile, our school teacher,
has had several proposals of marriage
since midst nj he
says on account of the modest income al
owed to school teachers nowadays it is
about . AL she can do to support herself,
possession. It is quite curiosity and he
showed it to several in the Golden Mug
set.. Constable Ezra Hand is keepin' an
Eye the feller as he has an fdee there
nay be reward out for him.
Automobile Yarns.
'I have got a great car said the Thin
t never developed the slightest rattle un-
il one day last week finally found
he tool boz and that cau eefTe th loose In
HUH That's nothing said the Fat
Nan. my old car never ratified in it's
ife until one day not long ago. / had !
lever heard a sound out of it. couldn't
wen tell when the engine was running
nd when 1T was not. There were times
When thought of tying a large tin dish
'an behind it to bump the pavement
o that people would know I was coming /
The only rattle I ever noticed came, as I
have said, a few days ago. 1 got out
nd looked all around, but couldn't find !
he rattle. 1 got back in the car and. \
through pure accident, reached into my ,
i've cents in change. 1t was this change
hat had been rafting. 1 took it out !
brew it into the street and went on and /
he rafting stopped"
That's a burned He,'' said the Thin f
fan. =
How SOP asked the Fat man. :
H. III