The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1913-03-14
ALOPHORNED
COW
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.
By M. QUAD


tell you that lop horned cow is trou-
BILE maker. When she has bobbed
tail to boot then you look out. You
couldn't give her away to any one
knowing cow character. She will jump
any fence to eat her fill Of corn and
then seek to destroy what she can't
eat.
There had been peace in Woods coun-
ty for a dozen years when a rumpus
suddenly fell upon the land and
changed the course Of at least two
lives and gave hundred others some
thing besides crops to talk about.
Farmer Jepson. widower. lived four
miles from Ackron on the county line
road, and Jane Schonf1eld, widow and
farmer, lived three miles west Of him
on the Red Bridge road They had
lived thus for five years and only knew
each other by name. The FIVE years
might have become twenty had not an
old lop horned cow stepped in to give
the parties an introduction.
The cow was owned by the widow.
Besides being lop horned she was bob
tailed, wild eyed and had various bad
habits, one of which was jumping six
rail fences and wandering about nights.
These promenades sometimes led her
The first time Farmer Jepson saw her
she was in the midst Of his cornfield
and had cleared about half an acre of
the juicy stalks. He was good man.
but he swOre at her and called her
names. He also tried his best to kill
COW called again to see how the corn
was coming on, and after half killing
her the farmer sent word that IF that
old critter Of cow steps hoof on my
land again there'll be lawsuit to make
things rumble!'
She waited until Mr.. Jepson had trans
planted his cabbage plants and they
had got fairly growing, and then she
called one night and helped herself to
25O of them. The first the widow knew
Of the midnight raid was when she re-
ceived a summons from justice of
the peace. Suit had been commenced
by Farmer Jepson to recover $3.50 dam
ages.
$50 he's sued me, has hep observed
the widow as she doubled up her fists
and fire came to her eyes. "Well.
we'll see who comes out ahead"
After two or three adjournments the
III In tho
courtroom that plaintiff and defendant
first saw each other. Both were sur
prised, and both said something to
themselves. What the farmer said
was:
"Well, by thunder! l expected to see
a fat and homely old two listed wilder.
and find her a good lookin' little bit
of female who ought to be sittin' on
q husbands knee. Wish I'd seen her
before I begun this suit. The blame
old COW damaged me, but hain't goin
to swear very hard agin no woman
like that"
LANDS O. massy, but he hain't no
mean man, exclaimed the widow aft
er a look at the farmer. why, they
said he was a big boss and buffer and
wanted to bulldoze me cause I'm all
alone in the world. Say, now. but
they are all wrong. He hain't the kind
to bluff and pitch in. Wish he had
come to see me about the old COW. Ii
he had I'd have chained her up. Won
der how hard he'll swear agin me-?
She was soon to know. The plain
tiff's lawyer in opening the case said
it was an aggravated case of trespass
and damage and that the $3.50 men,
toned wasn't really half what they
should have sued for. Then he went
on to tell of what defiant woman
the defendant was and wound up by
stating his hopes that the jury would
render a verdict without leaving the
box. Then the plaintiff was called to
the witness chair, and, to the surprise
of the widow and the disgust Of his
lawyer, he said he had forgotten the
message the woman returned to him.
He followed that up by declaring that
his feelings had simply been shocked
and that be had-fully recovered from