davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11
The Diary of a Bonehead.

1T is SO cool down at my cottage at
the resort that I have to sleep under
three blankets every night and we new
err keep ice at all. We just set the
milk and the beer out on the back
porch and it keeps perfect cold. In
fact the beer gets too cold. 1t freezes
1t was an ancient gag that Jones
sprung on me yesterday and had
fallen for it before, so hard that any
body but a chump would have known
better than to try it again. However,
accepted Jones invitation. 1t was
bIistering hot in town and even if
Jones were only 10 per cent truthful,
his place had town skinned long
statute mile.
We arrived at the resort at o'clock
in the afternoon when the rocking
chair dowagers had been driven to the
Easements of their houses for a breath
of air. 1t was SO cool at the resort
that the children were frying eggs on
the cement sidewalks just as a pas
time.
1t was so cool that a cigarette Jones
held in his mouth while he fumbled
around for the key to his cottage
lighted itself.
1t was so cool at that resort that a
box of safety matches from Sweden
caught fire in the pocket OF my outing
flannel coat and I had to go and jump
in the lake to extinguish the flames.
I shall never forget that night. I
never saw the three blankets that
y
don't believe there were ever three
blankets in the whole resort.
Jones gave me a room up under the
roof which had caught the full glare
of the sun all day.
1T is a little warm up here to-
night" he apologized. 81 can't under
stand it. 1t never happened before
$50 far as l am concerned" 1 re-
piled with a feeble effort at repartee,
sit will never happen again"
The longer I stayed in that bedroom
the hotter it got. 1t was just as COM
Portable as the interior of gas oven
when the hired girl is doing her week
ly baking.
: After spending one hour in that
room. the future punishment had no
terrors for me.
At l o'clock in the morning, clad in
a pair of blue silk pajamas and for
lorn but hopeful smile, 1 ran and
jumped into the lake. There 1 found
Jones, sitting in the water, up to his
neck and smoking his pipe.
Conversation from then on until
daylight was SO difficult that 1t finally
died out entirely and at O'Clock
went and caught the milk train for
the hot, stuffy city, which seemed ike
the refrigerating plant of brewery
after I reached it from Jones pet re-
sort.
All through that horrible. breath
less. seorching night at this "beautlfui
cool resort, swept by constant lake
breezes," 1 had been thinking of my
own comfortable out of door sleeping
porch in town and the numerous de-
vices I had in the way of electric fans,
etc, which were used for the purpose
of keeping cool.
in town was to purchase three blan-
kets and send them to Jones. AS a
liar Jones should be 100 per cent eff
cient, if / could make him %
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11
BY THE WY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

The wonder is not that Thaw was
detained in New Hampshire, put that
he got that far. AS we remember 1t,
the Vermont lawyers have not had
whack at his roll as yet.
/ 1t is asserted that fish cannot live
in the so-called ponds at the state
fishery; why not put them in the 1901
houses until it rains? We are In,
formed that each puddle is equipped
with an individual tool house, pre-
sumably to keep the caretaker's shovel
and overalls in. but room might be
found for few minnows
The peace officer. armed with a star
and club, is always expecting serious
trouble to break out right in front OF
the grandstand while the races are
going on.
When a lawyer gets in bad, he is
charged with a string of things that
sound more like malignant diseases
than crimes.
Before the Bull Moose party spends
any perfectly good coin on national
campaign. it might be well for SAID
party to Remember the Maine cleo
ton.
Nix, Horace. we are not yet favored
with the excuses for the small vote
polled by the Bulls in Maine. Elk
cuses usually come by mail.
Atchison is in the throes Chat may
not be the right word but the pro-
nunciation is correct, as they are
throwing things at each other) OF
change of city government. The town
seems to be divided into two factions
those who favor the commission
form now, and those who prefer 1t
later-when it will not interfere with
the incumbents Guess which side the
incumbents are on.
Hutchinson may be curious to know
WHY the T peka fair is not a greater
exhibit than it is; the answer is easy.
Had there been any more exhibits, II
would have been necessary to move
the residence district back to make
room, and lot of hard-hearted prop
erty holders objected TO moving their
houses for the week therefore,,
comma, the management found II
necessary to refuse admittance to a
number of would-be exhibitors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Trying ones luck is usually a test
of ones judgment.
j j. j
Most of the things that should be
left unsaid are not.
+ j. +
Everybody's past life has an undesir-
able chapter or two.
+ r +
Nearly every excuse is nothing more
than an unsatisfactory explanation.
J j. +
What has become of the old-fash-
Toned woman whose most priceless
possession was a rubber plant?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

That arrest of a Chicago white
woman on a charge of numbering her
Chinese husband is probably no more
than a mere formal proceeding Her
release will be certain when the case
is given to a jury, if not sooner Sure
ly there is no good reason why a white
woman who murders a Chinese hus-
band should be dealt with any more
harshiy than white woman who
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news ~
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication IN Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

And the nations that are not rush
ing ahead and establishing fleets of
war aircraft appear to be wise. One
of Kaiser Wilhelm's famous vessels
of this type dropped 1900 feet into
the ocean other other day, the sixteen
men making up its crew lost their
lives
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Senator Ashurst of Arizona COM
plains that the Republican minority
has filled the circumnambient atmos-
phere with lugubrious jeremiads."
Which is some atmosphere filler itself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Presumably the craze for playing
bagpipes that is working overtime
lust now in England will not drift to
this country. There is no Prince of
Wales here to set the fashions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Now that eleven European nations
have protested against our proposed
tariff law there seems no reason why
congress should hesitate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Four thousand deaths are caused
every year in Mexico by scorpions
Then what does it want with all those
revolutions?t
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

murders a white husband. And the
most effective unwritten law in the
land frees all viricides.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

OF course it is nobody's business,
but it does seem a trifle incongruous
for such a sturdy old sea dog as Rear
Admiral Osterhaus to devote his days
of retirement to the raising of canary
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

1t occurs to the New York World
that after his experience with the
militants, John Bull will probably
welcome war with the Mad Mullah as
an agreeable change
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Another tradition has been shatter-
ed Some b1oodhounds in Minnesota
actually succeeded in locating child
that had been lost in the woods for
four DAYS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Now that the worlds peace palace
at The Hague has been completed, Mr.
Carnegie should come across with his
worlds peace.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

And the attention of hunger strik-
ers is invited to the fact that. at the
age of ninety-five, it took a Pennsyl-
vanian fifty-six days to starve himself
"a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

They're building a fence and vehicle
lock at Matteawan so that milk
wagons may pass in without interior
ence by foot traffic in the opposite
direction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

The presence of two burglars in a
Chicago home was betrayed by their
coughing. The stock yards odor is of
some use after all.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

A census of millionaires is being
taken in Chicago. If Pittsburg tried
it the enumerators would have to go
to Broadway, in New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

More evidence that a name is with
out Significance. There is nothing
particularly fragile about the Glass
currency bill.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

A Chicago professor says he ha:
never kissed a girl. But as he is {
Chicago professor, the reason ISM
far to seek.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

This is also the season of the year
for bear stories from the football
camps. The prospects of all the teams
that will likely finish the season with
good records are "-otten.''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Conditions in Cuba appear to be
normal again. They are reported to
be chaotic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

At least there is some comfort t
be got out of the Thaw case. The
people who are cheering him are no
Americans.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

More than 100000 acres are de-
voted to the cultivation of peanuts in
Oklahoma. This probably accounts
for Oklahoma's brand of politics.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

One thing which is not causinl
widespread worry is the proposed in
crease of taxation on incomes owe
100000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

Russia is going to try sport as a
cure for revolution" Great scheme.
The Reds can take it out on the UNI
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11
KANSAS COlHMENT
PRoTEcrING THE FARMER.

PROTECTING THE FARMER
Considerable criticism has been
launched against the Underwood tar
lift because of the length of the free
list on farm products. To the Kan
sas farmer it has seemed rather all
inclusive on the products of the soil,
but such view has been gained with
out study of the entire measure.
Some agricultural items are we'll TAX
en- care of and it will please the hard
working agriculturist to know that
his interests have not been entirely
forgotten by the party in power.
Only last week when Senator Ken
yon of Iowa offered an amendment
removing the duty on trust made or
trust controlled goods, the threatened
danger to tobacco, that well known
Kansas farm staple, Immediately
brought the farmers champions to
their feet ready to fight an amend
ment that struck at the heart of ag-
riculture. Last year all told 154
acres of Kansas soil were devoted to
this crop and its selling value of that
crop was estimated at S13,740. Under
the beneficent tariff that provides a
protection for this staple, is it too
much to expect that another year
will find the acreage in this state in
creased to an entire quarter section?
With fair crops and fair prices the
yield might even bring as high, as
SIS, O00.-Salina Journal
THE SUNDAY DINNER q
A professor of the Kansas Agricul-
tural college proposes, in the inter-
est of mother to instruct all the girls
to do away with the Sunday dinner.
1t won't work. In the first place,
mother doesn't want to do away with
the Sunday dinner. She enjoys it
more than anybody. She likes good
things to eat-as we'll as the rest of
the family. she enjoys providing for
n mi 81 A-r~ IN
getting up something extra for Sun
day. It's part of her religion. The
Aggie professor will be doing a much
better job for mother If he will
teach the girls to sail in and help her
to get up the Sunday dinner, and
then after dinner, send her to take
nap while they wash up the dishes.
l-Leavenworth Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-11

The wonder is not that Thaw was
detained in New Hampshire, but that
he got that far. AS we remember it,
the Vermont lawyers have not had
whack at his roll as yet.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30
Servfng Table

Fumed Oak, 38x20 inches,
with 2 drawers and shelf;
regular price SIS; January
Sale Price SLIPS
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30
YIN. A. Notes


Final arrangements have been com
pleted to make the reception on New
J ears Day one of the largest and best
ever conducted by the local association.
At 10 q. m. there will be a reception
rendered to the Sunday school boys in
the boys department, to be followed by
an entertainment in Wallace Hall in
which magic and motion pictures will
be the features.
Billiard matches will be run or in the
mems department in the afternoon, and
beginning at 2:15 o'clock grand car
nival WIN be conducted in the gym
nasium. with varied program, includ-
ing potato and sack races, exhibitions
on the parallel and horizontal bars,
closing with rousing game of basket
ball between the Yale and Michigan
league teams The public will be ad-
mitted free of charge to this entertain
ment. In the evening a popular enter
tainment will be given in Wallace Hall,
with the Palmer Musical Trio, Richard
THOMAS, comedian and entertainer, and
John Morris, the well-known magician.
Motion pictures will also be shown.
The members of the Young Women's
Christian Association, of Newark and
Jersey City will be the guests Of the
local Y, M G. A. committee Of the
women's Auxiliary to ethe Y NJ. C, A.
will assist III receiving the guests.
BY vote of the audience 1t was de-
cfded that hereafter the popular enter
tainments on Saturday evenings be de-
voted to first class photo plays with
music. FOLLOWING out tnt new program,
seven reels will be shown next Satur-
day afternoon and evening, the special
feature being the reel In two parts
known as wild Beasts at Large, or
sSEhen the Menagerie Broke Loose"
Rtlt the mems meeting next Sunday af-
I Don, AS O'clock Arthur j. Smith,
'intendent of the Evangelistic Com
Of New York city, will give his
- Opening a New Account"
yIo by Earle's Orchestra at $3.50 p.
owship lunch at 80 p. m. All
ed
of boys took a trip to Staten
42X0S y, visiting Sailors Snug Har-
X~.ao; t Wadsworth. At 7:30 to-
III NJ Will be taken to weber's
,ECakiIn ny
y AT o.. ( tomorrow morning a
!, group Of boys will lenve the building
for the Museum of Natural History
Central Park, and the West Side Y. M.
&C. A., New York.
At 8 O'Clock tomorrow night joint
New Years meeting of the Y. s. B. c..
and Thursday Clubs win be held, fol-
lowed by supper. At p. M, DR.. C..
II. Church win give the second of a
Arjes of talks.
NJ New Years morning at 10 o'clock,
for Sunday school boys. Rooms
NIL day for reception Of members
sTeir friends.
uis9riday morning. 0 o'clock, a
-Your City trip will be taken.
x1zzzses. CLOCK, great New Years meet
Order Of the Triangle.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30
Office Chairs and Desks Reduced

Same as illustration; suitable for
house or Office; sanitary leg construc-
ton; made of nicely selected oak and
the top or writing bed is of 5-pW
built-up quartered oak. Drawers are
hardwood and fitted with movable
partitions. Right-hand pedestal has
double drawer suitable for books.
Centre drawer in the knee space. 1t
is 80 inches deep, regulation height;
made in. three different lengths. No
desk can be built better.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30
RS
ss5lESSION
r.
Association Meets at City
Here-Urge Several
Changes.

y L. Barck, jr., of Hoboken.
t,s-elected president at the an
s convention of Overseers of the
rom all parts of the State at
fifty Hall yesterday afternoon.
: nnrAin.. nH I,n Linz nrnr,linn tinr,c
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30

Regular price of 42nch $1875; January Sale Price $1675
Regular price of 50nct $225O; January Sale Price $1,000
Regular price of 55nch $25OO January Sale Price $225O
Regular price of 6Onch s27OO; January Price $24OO
SITS Chair for accompanying nicely
eced oak solid saddle shape polished 1t eyoves
be adjusted height and renes position regular price,
SITS; January Sale Price S675
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-12-30
5000

Fumed Oak, As inches wide,
65 inches high, with 4 shelves
and wood back; regular price
$500; January Sale Price, .S21
The evening world., 1913-04-24
BUILT HIS DEFENSE
)1OD|vORCE ACTION BY
/ MOVING HIS FAMILY
But Reynolds Forgot to Vote
. IN Connecticut and Has to
Pay Big Alimony.

John Jay Reynolds's plan 10 baik the
0evorcc action Of his wife. Mary A.,
wa0 upset to-day when Justice PAGE,
- . sharp decision. directed Reynolds
- pay his wife $50 a month anmony
saa counsel fee Of $50. Mr.. Reynolds
70 The wealthy head Of Reynolds
Brothers, cheese importers. at No. Is
Hartson street
Attorney Robert x. Prentice told the
Opuft that a. far back as Roe Reynolds
~ about building a defense to any
divorce action. About this time Mrs
Reynolds heard her husband found
Undue attractions outside his home, his
wife and his three children. He con-
suited a lawyer and. Mr.. Prentice said.
moved his family to Connecticut.
'Reynolds knew his wife could not
press a divorce action In this State II
he established her In Connecticut" said
the lawyer. lie left his family IN
Greenwich and came back to live at No.
- West Twelfth street. Then he IN
duced Mrs. Reynolds to bring a friendly
suit In Connecticut. insisting that both
certify their residence as Greenwich"
Reynolds then sold two parcels OF real
estate In this State. and when his wife
waived hcA dover rights he agreed to
pey her S151 a month and provide for
her In his will. Next Reynolds incor-
porated his cheese company for 5000. 900
and also Incorporated a real estate com
s1AaV
The evening world., 1913-04-24
ACTRESSSAYSDoCToR,
TRAPPED BY DETECTIVE,
STOLE HER EARRINGS
DR.. Hoffman Fails to Give
81, 900 Bail and Is Jailed
on Girls Charge.

DIR. Rudolph NJ Hoffma Of No. 1870
Arch street. Philadelphia. was a very
nervous and detected looking prisoner
In West side Court to-day. He was
confronted by Frace Ainsworth, an
actress Of No. 33s West Ninety.f,fth
NTH street, who said he had taken her
diamond earrings and refused to re-
turn them.
At the physicians request Magistrate
Freschi put the case over until Tuesday.
DR.. Holman could not furnish 1000 bali
and was locked up.
DR.. Hoffman went to Riverside Drive
and Ninety-nfth street last evening be.
cause he had received q decoy letter
from Niles AanSworth, written at the
suggestion Of Detective-IAeutena nt
Byrnes Of the West One Hundredth
street station. making an appointment
to see him. Miss Ainsworth kept the
appointment. but at a distance. Lieut..
Byrnes was at the corner and arrested
DR.. Hoffman. According to the com.
plant filed by Miss Ainsworth. the
physician took the earrings while he
was calling at her home, where she
lives with her parents. March % last.
Assistant District-Attorney Boetxei In
fTmfd Magistrate F'rcschi that De.
tective Csputo OF Queens was in court
waiting for chance to arrest DR.. HofY-
man on complaint changing the ioc-
tor with having taken MIS- Ainsworth
TO a sanitarium at Corona. knocking
her down and twisting two diamond
vings from her fingers.
The evening world., 1913-04-24
JAIL FOR RICH MANS SON
Tc ESCAPE $500 VERDICT.

SOUTH NORwALK, Conn. April a.
Joseph Zimmerman jr.. son Of the
President Of the Adams Express Com
pAny, has taken the legal steps to 60
- jail and thereby escape payment Of .
S1oo verdict obtained against hiri BY
Harry Phnlipson. . local trolley con.
ducter, He purposes to tale the poor
debtors oath and regain his freedom.
With Charles Forhman. . fellow stu
d1at at Yale. Zimmerman came 70 town
one night last November. He SAID ne
would show his friend some life"
They cleaned out trolley car. beating
the conductor and motorman.
The youths were fined In local court
and sued. and Zimmerman was expelled
from Yale. The 500 judgment was given
In the first OF six actions against Zim-
norman.
The evening world., 1913-04-24
HAPPY, LAUGHING
CHILD SHORTLY.
If Cross, Feverish, Bilious
and Sick, Let Syrup Of
Figs" Clean Its Little
Waste logged Bowels.

No matter what ais your child, gen.
lie, thorough laxative physic should a.
ways be the first treatment given.
II your child isn't feeling we'll. resting
nicely. eating regularly asd acting nat
urally Il 10 . sure sign that It's little
stomach, liver and 50 feet Of bowels are
filled with foul. constipsted waste mat
ter and need . geatls. thorough cleansing
ct once.
when cross. irritable. fevssish. stom-
sch sour, breath bad or your little one
has stomach ache. diarrhoea, sore throat.
full Of cold. tongue coated. give . tea
spoonful Of Syrup q FisA and In few
hours all the clogscd up waste. undi-
eested food and sour bile will gently
move on and out Of its little bowels with.
You will surely have a we'll. happy asd
smiling child again shortly.
With Syrup Of Figs you ere not drug
ging your children; being composed en-
tireIy Of luscious fiss, SIENNA AID afo-
MATES, IL cannot be hsrmful-besides,
they dearly love its delicious Zig taste.
Mothers should always keep Syrup o.
Figs handy. II d the only stomach,
liver and bowel cleanser and regulator
needed little given to-day will ave
sick child tomorrow.
Full directions for children Of all sees
and for srown-ups plainly printed on the
package.
Ask your druggist for the full name,
Syrup Of Figs and Elixir Of SIENNA,
prepared by the California Fig Syrup
Co. This Is the delicious tasting. senu.
inc old reliable. Refuse anything else
offered.
The evening world., 1913-04-24
PUBLIC LEDGER, 2 CENTS.

PHILADELPHIA, April A-Ths pub.
fishers Of the Public Ledge have deter
mined to increase its Price TO two cents
copy. beginning May I. according to
an announcement which appeared in
to-day's Issue.
II became Q ons-cent paper In 1901. AZ
ter being sold for . generation ~ two
cents. The property recently passed
into the hands Of Q new company. head
ed by Cyrus II. X. Curtis. and It 10
announced that an incrsass In the sIss
Of the paper makes the return TO the
former price necessary.
The evening world., 1913-04-24
WILSON AVOIDS PATERSON.

TRENTON. N. j.. April A.-President
Wilson will not make speech for Jury
reform in Paterson on May I. a. he had
intended. Instead he will speak In the
new auditorium at Newark. The Presi-
dent wired his decision to Gov. Fielder
to-day after the Governor had suggested
that other counties than Passaic could
be invaded by the President with better
advantage.
There was a report here to the eifec,
that friends Of the President had ad.
Nsed him not to 20 to Paterson be.
cause OF the labor troubles there.
The evening world., 1913-04-24
DOG Rescues Boy From River.

RUTLAND. VT. April "A st. Ber-
nard dog saved Daniel Costello. eleven.
OF Poultney. from drowning In the
Poultney River yesterday. The boy had
gone down twice when the animal
plunged into the stream and brought
him ashore. Some time ago the dog
rescued from the same stream the small
daughter OF his owner. w. ]. Ellis.
The evening world., 1913-04-24

n you prefer making your own
fine linen Towsling. In a variety Of
neat damask 0r plain designs, ranging
from IS In. to q inches IN width. All
at "L0west-in-the.City" prices.
second Y1ess. 860h a.. BSaR.