The Washington times., 1913-05-01

see yuh last!''
"Subtle?"
"Yeh. One NV them problem plays
French farce situations-that the critica
| talk about. IL they have just ct steak
| smothered in onions. what didn't agree
with them, when they seen the play.
! We'll. the other day. when I wuz off.
I wuz waitin' fer my sister-in-law.
next to the silver picture frame counter.
in Banks when all Nv a sudden a
dame, all dolled up in one Nv them
draped, slashed, unbuttoned an sub
tracted new style gowns. approaches
like feetsteps on horeback an says
to me:
viii you do me a favor?"
Now. I don't know if she wuz goin'
to spring the old gag bout JUS havin'
lost her purse, ETC., or whether she had
inside information that some Nv her
costume had broke loose from the hitch
in post an she wanted aid. So I says.
wary:
what Is it yuh want me to do,
madam? An she pipes back:
'''Call up a telephone number for me?
'Thon l thought she recognized me
frum this switchboard joint an wuz
tryin' to get fresh. an I wuz JUS goin'
to hand her one hot from the bat when
she apologies:
You see, I want to disguise my
voice with some one very particular.
And it can't do you any harm and it'll
take only a few minutes
We'll, Nv course, yuh know, this here
little Ray Nv Sunshine amt goin' TO
!. let nothin' vital like that slip by, SO
the deal wuz on. The phones at Blank 8
Is in the basement, next to the lawn
mower an garden supply department,
an when we arrived there wuz a bunch
Nv men customers tryin' to shear the
moss off'n the basement floor with these
same machinss-an' they were maxim
some noise. The dame give the girl the
number an then she begin instructin'
me. I wuz to get this guy on the wire
an say: Hello. sweetheart" See? She
wanted to know. first. II ned come
back with a sharp call or fall fer the
mush.
III he DID call, / wuz to hang up:
| but IL he followed my first play. in the
smokey y-ookum patter. I wuz TO lead
him on. She didn't want him to know
/ wuZ calm from public place, Sd
she shut the door wv the booth, cause
there wuz such noise outside. Then !
got him. Well, say, that gink never
even come up to the surface fer air.
| He swallowed the bait an line an all.
| An he had SOME soft vocabulary. kid.
Now. right here's where the subtle par,
comes In.
The weather warmin' up a bit must
"a warped that door an the same stuck.
An as he got more'n more reckless with
his Laura Jean conversation l got in
terested. an my face must "a showed
il. Well, yuh en- see how II wuz Here
wuz the dolled-up dame shut on the
outside NV the booth. tryin' to unwarp
that door: me on the inside with a
dreamy. let-me-die expression on my
map. an the lawn-mower chorus goin'
strong an drownin' every syllable Nv
what I wuz sayin' over the wire But
I should worry my young life away an
stop the sale NV lawn-mowers, Nevah.
We'll. say. when I got out NV there II
wuz FIVE calls An when | seen her
cough up the quarter I thought the
least ] could do would be to soften the
blow. so I says to her:
"'Our voices must sound a whole lot
alike. cause he took me fer yuh
An then 7 beat IL. cause 7 could see
! she wuznt fallin' fer the softened blow
not fer cent.
You were lucky to get by" con.
tributed. ''of course, you haven't heard
anything since?'
She sighed deeply.
well, yuh see I wouldn't q bother