The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-10
WHEN 1T IS HARD
TO REMAIN QUIET
Misunderstanding and Adverse Crit
cism Are Hard to Bear. -.
BY FRANCES sHAFFER.

Do you know that IT takes person
of wonderfully fine makeup to stand
up under load Of misunderstanding
and adverse criticism, when, perhaps.
the other side of the story. once made
known. would set things Alright? For
lit is no light thing to have that fear
some thing, public opinion, arrayed
against one, when the right is all on
his side. And it does not make much
difference whether his public is great
or small, so long as it is all the public
he has.
But of course the trouble is-everybody
thinks, or persuades himself he thinks.
that there is only one side worthy of note
And the difference is that the man or
woman, with something fine about him
that makes him shrink from talking,
has not a word to say, while the other.
glibly and unshrinkingly, sets forth his
case in any color that he likes.
When friends fall out" there is gen.
orally one who is aggrieved. one who
only thinks he is, one who is right, while
the other is all wrong. And 1t takes
a goodly bit of self-poise-more than
most folk possess-to go on, leaving 1t
to time and IT'D many tricks to reveal
the little secret, who was right and
who was wrong.
Tempting 10 Talk.
For it is very tempting to talk things
over, 10 present the side that looks so
big just and altogether right; and it is
only the few who will hold their peace.
To talk means. mayhap, to win the SYM
pathy and the approval of listeners. while
to leave ii to another to do the ex-
planning may bring condemnation and
touch of scorn. And il does require cour-
age Just to feel that one is right and
let it go at that. II is big. honorable,
and commendable. but, then, ii is not
comfortable at all.
Most Of all. in family troubles. when
it happens that grievances come thick
and fast. IL is hard enough for one II
realize that the differences are being
aired at all, but that is not the worst
of il.
The worst comes with the crushing
knowledge that only one side is pre-
scented. and that while family honor bids
one utter not a word, there, is another
who is not restrained by any impulse
hut the selfish prompting to be friends
know that something is wrong and that
he is the unhappy victim.
We may say il is brave admirable and
very dignified to go right on keeping
ones head well Up in the air, as if moth
ing had happened at all. But don't you
know that one of the hard things that
folk are called upon to do is to bear
burden of injustice. to have part of the
truth revealed, the other part hidden
away from the knowledge of those for
whose verdict they care?
And one supposes that is the secret
OF the wretched revelations and all the
sorry explanations that pass back and
forth when there is real trouble eating
away at the heart of family. Each
wants to prove the other wrong, each
is eager to show that the fault rests
anywhere, everywhere. but on his Shout
ders. And So each fares forth with his
own little story written all over with
self-interests- and its usual bias. And
family pride and family love sink out
of sight, humb1ed and disgraced.
Somebody Is Right.
When things get all in tangle. when
friends are estranged or family ties
broken asunder, it seems to be the
the hardest thing of all to bring to
mind any side other than that con-
cerned with self. Somebody is right,
somebody is wrong, but the mind does
not always want to slip back to the
real cause and the real offender. 1t stops
somewhere at a miserable little happen
ing. and il takes up the cudgel there,
80 h n