The Bourbon news., 1913-09-12
PARIS NOT FOREIGN
Visitor From U. S. Sought in
Vain for French Quarter.
Shops, Subways, Music, Drinks and
Even the Prize Fighter Were
American Made - Nothing
Novel was to Be Seen.

Novel was to Be Seen.
Paris.-"Say, where's the French
quarter of this town, anyway" asked
a visitor from the west of clerk in
one of the tourist agencies Of Paris
recently.
You mean"
Exactly what 1 say" said the
stranger. 81 came all the way to
Paris to find something new, a change.
novelty, and all I've found is-say,
at breakfast yesterday morning /
read an American paper, though it's
published here in Paris. l found
that the jockeys who won races here
the day before are named MCGEE,
O'Connor, O'Neill. Sounds like a list
of Broadway traffic squad cops Can
you beat it?
''The first thing / saw when
went out on the boulevards was the
sign American shoes Next door
was windowful of gaudy green and
yellow neckties and celluloid collars
ties no hayseed would wear and
celluloid collars like our motormen
discarded years ago, but all labeled
American Then a Camelot showed
a handbill at me. 1t had facsimile
of the stars and stripes and an 'ad
for an American dentist
Il dropped into store and asked
for gloves. Sure said the clerk.
we have re gloves American 1t
was a hot day, and he added: And
zees ez Americaine wezer. aussi.
n'est-ce-pas?
when 1 went back to the hotel
for lunch a maid brought in my laun-
dry. 'Ah, re glacage Americana, she
said, lingering the collars, which had
been given shiny gloss. l didn't
wait to tell her no self-respecting
American laundry man would put on
such a finish l saw mine if l had.
Us there manicure in this neigh
borhood? 1 asked the clerk.
'Mais, oui,' he answered. Just
around the corner is an American
/ Il was riding in the subway that
| afternoon when some guy sized me
| up and volunteered: You Americans
| helped to build this line Finally
reached one of the residence sec
tions and thought l had found France
at last. Just then a hand organ
started to grind out "Hiawatha,
which was made in Kansas City,
think.
"a French friend Of mine took me
driving in his motor car. by th'
way he said, this machine is Amer
lean made We nearly ran into /;
trolley car and on it's side l saw tn,
name Of an American engineerin:
firm.
81 went to one of the summer gar
dens that advertises tango matinees
The orchestra played one piece O
tango music then struck up 'AleXar
der's Ragtime Band I beat it t
the accompaniment of Row, Row
Row.
'By that time l thought l ha
earned a drink. Yes, l saw tha
American soda water sign but
lodged into a cafe across the stree
When was seated a garcon came u
and asked: 'Grog American, Mseu
! II stopped in a florists shop to bu
some flowers for my wife. 1 aske
for La France roses. Nothing d.
ing. They gave me American Beal
ties. / happened to think just the
that that was mail day and l had t
, send a business letter, so l hurrie
back to the hotel and looked up th
stenographer This is an America
typewriter, she said, caressing th
machine.
while l was at dinner 1 tried I
} figure out why Christopher Columbu
I went to all the trouble of crossin
} the ocean to discover America whe
1t would have been so easy just
run up to Paris. But I was despe
ate and l resolved they wouldn't fo
me any more.
THAT night / went to a music hal
one that they said was tres Parisia
Out came a spieler to announce tn;
( man who could face a fighter for te
rounds in a combat de boxe The
the fighter appeared. He was"
George Carpenter asked Il
clerk
Not on your life! Jack johnson
That was the finishing touch. 1t w,
me to the hotel then in a hurry.
my room l tried to figure out VIII
that one day in this great foreig
city had cost me-"
And you found?"