The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-23

hire 1t dOne.'
well. l didn't stop you. did II" was
the reply.
II shan't do it again this winter"
"GCiug to fly over it CT tunnel under
ity'
Pm going to get the police after
you. If they won't bring you to time
then I will"
Don't threaten me. you old crank!'
"What. What! Say. you get out
there and begin to toss snow! If your
walk isn't cleared off when l come
along in the morning I'll punch your
selfish old head!'
The next man was Stevens. Mr..
Bowser got him and said:
what about the snow on your
walk?'
"And what about yours:"
Il want you to understand that there
is an ordinance about snow and that
you have got to heed it,"
"Oh, l have! And how about you?'
my walk is always clean. but you
pay no attention to yours. You have
got to do it after this, however"
"Been made car of this country, eh?"
He Has Trouble.
"Never mind the car business.
There's a new deal on this winter"
Then you go to blazes! I'll clean
my walk when l get good and ready"
The next was a Mr.. Darcy. He had
a squeaky voice and used the
telephone. His wife answered the call
and heard the words:
"A nice sort of a man you are! Why
in thunder aren't you out cleaning off
the eve feet Of snow ON your side
| walk?"
"Who dares call me a man and swear
at me?" demanded a voice.
II do-Bowser."
Il might have known it was you.
What do you want?'
Il want you to clean your walk of
snOw and don't be a week about it,
either"
"How dare You talk to me like that?"
"Say, Darcy, don't 90 to giving me
any bluffs. You are the meanest man
on the block about snow"
"You are ~ liar, sir"
"What-what's that? You say that
again and I'll come over and break you
in two"
you are not talking to Darcy, but
to his wife. However, If you think
you can break me in two, come along
and try It! What are you grouching
about, anyhow"
"YOu haven't cleaned off the snow
yet"
"NOr you. either. It's none Of your
business about our sidewalk anyhow"
''Then I'll make it my business!'
"You come Ginning around here and
I'll hit you a clip v e your bald pate"
"WOman, r.
"Save that for Mrs. Bowser"
He Threatens.
The mex man ON the list was Mr..
Shard. He was playing cards with his
wife and had just ordered up a hand
when his telephone rang and a voice
wanted to know:
Say. Shard, what kind of a man are
your"
"Who is that"'
"Bowser. | want to know why you
are toasting your lazy shanks at the
fire instead Of being out cleaning your
walk"
Don't you talk that way to me.
When came home past your house
the snow was up to my chin. Get out
and do some shoveling Yourself"
Are you going to clean your walk 2"
was demanded.
"None of your business! I don't pro
pose to be dictated to by no old horse
fly like you are!"
"Horsefly. am l? Horsef1y because
I'm going to make you obey the snow
ordinance, the same as l have to? Say
Shard, you be Mt your gate Mt s O'Clock
in the morning and I'll make you Ell,
every n of snow on your walk"
Then the Widow White was called
up. She had just tripped owe the ca,
and fallen downstairs and was yer.
nervous as Mr.. Bowser said to her:
Mrs. White, have you got anybod!
cleaning your walkT
"Mercy! No."
"Why not?"
Il have just fallen downstairs"
"That's nothing to do with the snow.
Hasn't it? Dear, dear me-"
Il want to know when the walk l:
to be cleaned"
"Dear MI again! You say your name
is Bowser"
"Yes."
ut isn't Towser nor Howser?"
"NO, 1t isn't. What about tina
walk?
"Dear, dear me! So nervous,' 70,
know. Tell the cat-l mean tell tn,
stairs-I mean tell Jowser to tell Bow
ser I'll have it all cleaned off by g
Fourth Of July"
And Mr.. Bowser hung up the receiv
er and turned to Mrs. Rowser with ;
triumphant smile to say:
There! They know that Rowser Il
on the job, and I'll bet that some o
them will shovel snow all night"