The San Francisco call., 1913-09-03
The Temper
Curse
BY DOROTHY DIX

the big problems, nor are Its
= tragedies the great sorrows OF
existence. The conundrums thai
nobody can answer are offered by just
little everyday complications, and tins
things that break our hearts, and
wreck homes. are not great sins, or
Affections. but small, miserable. sor-
did worries and aggrayations that
blet out the sunshine and take all the
Joy out Of life for US.
As an example OF this submit the
case OF one OF my correspondents
She Is q good. conscientious woman,
married to good man. and they have
had happy home, Recently. how
ever, the woman's mother has died
and she had to offer the shelter Of
her home to young sister. beauti-
full and talented girl OF 20, who has
the temper Of virage.
The girl has nowhere else to so.
for although she is amply fitted by
her abilities to support herself. she
~eAt4 RA1R tt1 EAhNAtAoI pSNaASI ~ AANA
uncontrolled temper and tongue. To
have to support her Is burden on
her sister. but the worst feature OF
1t Is that the girl has made q peace
ful and happy home such storm
center that 1t is wreching it, and the
woman's husband Is very naturally
threatening to send the sister away,
FEARS THE WORST
The poor wife and sister is between
two fires. She fears the worst for
her sister If the girl. young and
beautiful and headstrpng. is deprived
Of all guardianship and restraint, and
even of shelter. and at the same time
she feels the injustice of saerificing
her husband and her home to the
she had best do under the circum-
stances.
side with the husband l think
that there is nothing else In the
world in which the most of us show
ourselves so oowardly as In the
craven, meachin' way In which we
give into people with tempers and let
them ride roughshod over us. Before
a redheaded temper and a venomous
tongue we are ali arrant towards. and
that Is why the possessers of tempers
don't try to control them.
Among my acauaintanoes there is a
certain child who holds the world s
championship for crying She shrieks
and shrieks until she maddens every
body about her. Not long ago, catch
ing her for once in a smiling mood,
I said. Mabel. why do you cry SO
much? ?' She looked at me In round
eyed anazement and calmly replied:
why. il / didn't cry how would /
get anything I want?"
That is the philosophy of the indi-
viduals with high tempers. They
know that the balance of US are so
terrified at the thought OF their
raging that we will give into them
without an argument; that we will
walk on eggs to try to keep from
ruffling their sensibilities. and that
we will put up with any injustice or
imposition rather than go through a
scene with them.
so THEY RAGE
Therefore they rage. It's the easi-
est way TO get what tucy Wdlt, lol
the person without q temper is no
more fitted to cope with the individual
with a temper than an infant In
arms is to engage in a prize fight
with Jack Johnson.
SO far as I know, no psychologist
has ever attempted to explain the
fear we have of the tempers of those
with whom we must live. Perhaps
tho struggle for exfstence takes SO
much out of US that we have no
strength left with which to wage q
perpetual battle at home. Perhaps we
have a sense of deoency that the high
tempered lack that which keeps us
from retaliating In kind. Perhaps no
real lady or gentleman is fitted to
deal with the woman or man who
has not the finer instincts that con-
sideration for other people and self
mastery gives.
At any rate, the fact remains that
we all do stand In such shaking.
quivering fear of the high tempered
that we encourage them In giving
full reign to their evil dispositions.
This makes us to q degree accessory
before the crime. We need more grit
and backbone In dealing with them,
and it's dollars TO doughnuts that II
the evil tempered knew that they
would be chucked out Of house and
home unless they controlled them
selves they would curb their pas
sions.
Temper should be made the first
cause for divorce.