davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

why, that's the hat I'm wearing
the one I'll wear off the steamer" :"
tempestuously.
See here. can't you read?" turning
over the blue blank and striking
angrily on the paragraph which
stated that every article bought
abroad must be declared, even though
it had been worn, that an allowance
would be made for the condition.
HELEN BREAKS DOWN
When they came to the lingerie
Helen was almost hysterical.
Why, lots of those things have
been LAUNDERED. You're perfectly
unreasonable You're just Quixotic
about this whole thing! NO ONE
declares underwear that's been laun-
dered, The customs officers don't ex-
pect it. Why, it's--it's UNHEARD
Of" and Helen threw herself on her
berth, smothering her sobs in the
pillow
Calmly ignoring this outbreak,
Warren went grimly on, putting down
on the declaration every item he
found on the bills.
| When at length he summed up the
amount, he announced frigidly, $348.
And l know you bought stuff that
there's no bills for here. I'll just keep
this declaration, as he slipped the
| ~, h; -, -
put you above tinkering with it even
now
Pushing back her disheveled hair.
Helen sat up suddenly with REDEEMED
tear stained face
You're just trying to hurt me-
sobbingly. You know I'm just as
scrupulously honest as you are about
everything except this old customs
law. And | don't BELIEVE in it.
Ill evade it-and get out of it any
way | CAM with passionate defiance
l"Tll tell the customs officers so, too!
! If / was bringing in anything to sell
that's different. But Just the few
things / bring for myself and for
presents Id smuggle in every one OF
them If I could! And you might as
well know it,
Helen. quivering with defiance. was
growing more and more excited, and
now she rushed on with sort OF
desperation
And since you're Quixotic--here' S
something else you can add to your
declaration" feverishly rummaging
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

women out of a hundred who bring
this same desire.
However honest or generous q
woman may be in every other way,
she has the deep rooted feminine
aversion to paying duty. She firmly
believes as long as she does not bring
in anything to sell she should not
have to pay on her own wearing ap-
parel. or on few presents for
friends.
SO Helen felt that she was being
most honest when she added up her
list and found she had declared $126
worth. That would mean that she
woul have to pay on SIS, and even
that she considered an imposition.
The first bugle had blown for
luncheon as she was adding up the
list, and now Warren entered with a
brisk How are you making out?
Ready to go to iunch?"
THE DECLARATION
-Yes, dear. I'm just through, .
hastily putting in her trunk the blue
official sheet.
Lets see,' holding out his hand
for the paper.
Hadn't we better wait until after
luncheong' anxiousIy.
sTn take look at it now. How
....,.l s;a - old ,,p9r
Warren frowned down the list
which Helen reluctantly gave him
Then, with noncommittal grunt, he
rapidly added up the items.
"only s12s? How's that2 Yor
spent almost $500 and you've declared
only s126. why, you haven't got hall
the stuff down.
But ! didn't spend $500 on pur-
chases," excitedly. Think Of all
spent on cabs, buses, luncheons and
things like that"
"Humph. you spent mighty blamed
little on cabs. Outside of what you
bought I'll wager you didn't spend
$50 all the time we were there
You've got over s4oO worth of stuff
ali right Now get out your bills
I'll go over EN-"
But, dear. I've worn most of the
things. Why, some of the underwear
has even been LAUNDERED" (aImosl
in tears). Surely you're not goins
to make me declare"-
Where are those wo gowns from
the Bon Marche?' he was still crawl
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

<<xvo. no; you don't hold your
Iy stick right" instructed War
ren, impatiently. Here; catch
hold further up. Now stand more to
the side. That's better. Now. don't
strike-shove.g
Helen showed the disk with all her
strength. but it reached only the
10" square on the chalked deck.
Minus 1Or disappointedly. Il only
had 27-that leaves me only II. And
you'll go out this time"
Well, you'll never learn to play
shuffleboard till you hold your stick
right. Now, watch" and with an
easy grace Warren sent a disk spin
ming up the deck to the ".s" square.
That puts me out" as he threw down
his stick Hello. There's sail off
there frowning over the sunlit sea
to a faint speck on the horizon.
Let's play just one more game" ;"
pleaded Helen.
''No, I've had enough" with a yawn.
You can't play Switchboard, anyway.
Now, see here, you'd better go down
and make out your declaration. It's
not II yet; you can finish by lunch"
Helen looked out over the clear
blue shimmering sea and longed to
stay on deck. 1t seemed a real hard
ship to have to spend this glorious
morning down in her stateroom max
ing out a list for the customs.
Dear hate to go down now-Pve
got all day tomorrow"
Now. don't put everything off till
the last minute Do it now and get
it off your mind You've got all your
/ bills-well, make up your list from
them. That's the best way
With a feeling of rebellion against
the whole institution of customs,
Helen went down to her stateroom
and got out the official blue blank
that the purser had sent each passen-
ger that morning.
Warren had insisted on her saving
the bills of everything she had
bought, but she sl5aA no ansantion OF
making her sdexsatiohs sffem them
Instead. she went over fise goods in
her trunk and hand baggage and put
down onIgstlie articles that were sob-
viousiy new and unused.
To keep her declaration as near as
possible within the 800 free limit
was Helen's intention. Ninety nine
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
Jokes


:, She was a splendid servant. but she
didn't know anything about gas to
eo6k with: So that she could see how
the gas stove was operated he lit each
Of the many burners.
While still explaining, a message
called him from the kitchen and he
left her, saying: Il guess you will
find that it will work all right now.
Martha"
He didn't see the cook again for
-four or I'VE days. then upon entering
the kitchen he said:
We'll, Martha. how's hat range
doing?"
To his utter CONSERVATION she re-
piled:
Deed. sir, that's the best stove 1
ever did see. The FIRE what you kin
. died for me four days ago is still
A-burning, and it amt even lowered
once
Brown and slimson. travelling sales
men. met on the train.
81 have just come from Birming-
ham, where l did a tremendous busi-
ness" said Slimson. How much do
you think l sold?
How should l know replied
Brown
~of course, you don't know. but
what do you guess2'
"Oh. about half
"IIalf Of what2'
why, half of what you say
Seth Woodbury. was tight listed,
hard hearted old farmer. His brother
William dying, Seth drove into town
TO have a notice about his death in
serted in the weekly newspaper.
There amt no charges. be there?"
he asked. anxiously.
''oh. yes, indeed" answered the edi-
tor Our price is ten shillings an
inch"
~crikey." muttered the old man
.'aR Bill six feet two.'
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
: Little =
Bobbie' S
: P :
Ii7IfS M M M ~ M M NO
By WILLIAM F. KIRK

C KOoL has begun aggenn & l have
a new. teecher. Her naim is Miss
McCabe & she is awful pritty.
Last yeer my teecher was big &
hoamly & 1 dident like her beekaus
she hit me with ruler beekaus 1
dident know what was the capital of
Rhode Hand I toald Ma & Pa all
about my new teecher & sed was
going. to.lilye- her vary much.
That. is nice. Bobbie, sed Pa. was
always lucky wen was a yung boy.
All of ms. teechers was pritty, too. ]
always 1fked. them & they liked me
b.eelaus I.:was brite & newer gaiv
thena any .trubbeI
- Iissen to. him, Robbie. sed Ma. His
mother toald: me onst that yure father
was: the tusfest boy in his skool &
that wen he got his report card he
was always. good in everything excep
department, that was usually about 90.
We'll. sed Pa. so in department isent
so vary had: If everybody in this
wurld- was 50 per cent good there
zvud.. be. a lot of long. hard winters
for the. preachers. We wuddent need
the churches much then.
.You always have sum excuse &
wfggel out, doant you. sed Ma. Well
as. long as you are good husband I
doant care wether you were a good
boy then or not. What are your
Studies going TO be this yeer, Bob
.6ie2
toald Ma I was going to study
history for the first time
That is a grand study. history. sed
Pa. : was always crate in history.
Il is awful fascinating. Pa sed. to
turn back oaver. the dusty pages of
history & read about all them old
leaguers~ Wait till you get to study
fng;alf about them old Greeks. Bobbie,
.sed. Pa: & how thay fought for thare
freedufn: with. the English & the
d4aqiix..
The Greeks newer fought with the
.Gaais & English. sed Ma The Ro-
mans fought with the Gauls. * I be-
1eeve the Yankees fought littel with
the. English. You are Citing awful
raisty- on eyure- history. Ma sed.
:: wish you wuddent try to eorreck
me on my history, sed Pa. In the
history book that I studded the
Greeks fought the English & thay
fought the Gauls in the Wars OF. the
Roses. It was. the best history book
that mummy cud by. too. sed Pa. Why,
sad Pa, doant you reemember how
that old Greek general naimed Ulysses
sed to. the Gaul general naimed Bob
Lee. The old Guard dies but never
snrrenders.
That was a French general sed that,
one of >Napolyun's soljers. sed Ma
i. viii ask Miss McCabe tomorrow.
j toaTd Pa & Ma. I dident want to see
them having. an argument beekaus
they had. one argument at the break
fast. label & one argument day is
enuf for any married peepul.
5. All. rite. Bobbie. sed Pa. we viii
leeve it to yure pritty teecher. Maybe
I better go along too. sed Pa
Maybe.I will attend the con-ferens
also; sed Ma But I know beefoar we
go that. you are all mixed up. You
needent: fill Boobies he'd with any
gnoar of that nonsense. You doant
seeveh remember anything about
Dewey's battel, Ma sed. Why. try to
Remember as far back as the Greeks?
:. .Dexey's battel? sed Pa. OF course
!. I remember it, Him & Teddy Ruse-
Welt whipped the spanyards. Mister
Rusevelt: toald it hisself.
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
<<r S the baron imp
The old butler shrugged his

The old butler shrugged his
shoulders and replied:
Il am afraid the baron will not see
anybody tonight, but 1 will try. Your
name, please
"Just tell him it is an old COM
rade."
The butler left shaking his head,
but returned a moment later.
1.-THE baron asks you to come in,
sir"
With a smile the visitor entered.
How are you, Brenkendorf? he
cried to the baron and held out both
hands
why, dear old Salten. as sure as l
am living. This is indeed a surprise.
How are you. old boy? But l need not
ask: you are looking fine"
II am glad can return the compli-
ment But you are all dressed up,
see. / am afraid l am disturbing
you
Not at all. old friend. / always
dress in good time, and l can easily
give you a full half hour. He or
dered the butler to bring a bottle OF
his Oldest hook. And now let us sit
down in front of the fire and you
must tell how the world has used you
during these last five years. | am
sure YOU have something interesting
to tell"
with a slight touch of sadness: Alas,
when a man gets TO our age he does
not meet with any interesting expert
ences any more
ooh. don't know" replied Bren-
kendorff. Il at least must be an ex-
ception.
Then / suppose that you tell your
story first | feel that | am growing
old and thought you were, too. and
really we can not complain, having
had our fling while we were young.
STILL YOUNG
But my youth is not over yet; do
not feel bit old. And didn't you just
say that / was looking fine?'
Indeed / did and 1t is true. You
don't look bit older than you are,
and younger than most men at our
age
We'll. man is no older than he
feels. and / feel that | am still too
young to be done with the pleasures
of life intend to marry again.
Impossible
mot at all. am speaking in
earnest
And who is to be the bride?''
..Fraulein Jutta Won Werdenfels.
The daughter of the general?"
Yes"
s.But she is not more than 10 or 20"
THAT is right. She is just 20.''
'And you Will be so next month
..You are not very tactful, Karl
Il don't pretend TO be, but / mean
well. In ten years you will be an old
man. while your wife will be in her
prime. Have you thought of that?"
Brenkendorff was about to give an
angry answer, but he controlled him
self He did not want to spoil his own
good humor on the very evening when
he intended to propose and simply
said:
1T is of no use to talk to me about
it. | am too used to doing as I please
to change now even if there may be
something in what you say"
Salten shrugged his shoulders.
Il can't compel you to listen, and
as you say you are determined I only
want to congratulate you with all my
heart
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
y + Shows Fm AeSonh hPyngt
My Her Ph
By MABEL HERBERT URNER

BY MABEL 1EKBEKI UKNER
ing down her list. Don't see them
here"
No. because I've worn them-and
they show it. l almost ruined that
white one at the dance last night.
You don't expect me to declare thatf
Warren, nobody declares everything
they've worm
Give me the ink there. and get me
your bills-every one of Them" he
demanded grimly.
"Oh. dear, do let's go to luncheon
first. Wen feel so much more in the
mood for this afterward."
Il feel in the mood for it right now.
Where are those bills?"
There's the second bugle now.
Won't we be late for lunch?"
Lunch or no lounch, we're going to
get this thing straight before we
leave it. Get me those bills, / tell
you.
Almost in tears. Helen opened her
trunk and took out large envelope
OF bills. and Warren began jotting
down the amount of each
What's this? Six poudre rosee and
fir. 5o-15 francs Got that on your
listg'
FACE POWDER
NO, that's face powder, and I've
used almost box. Don't you see
agitatedly, "a lot of those toilet things
I've USED UPr'
"Ail right, you used ONE box. How
about the other five?'
Helen flushed, and, with his mouth
set grimly, Warren wrote down, IS
boxes face powder. a fr-50-s2 50
"'9 p. gants'-those all the gloves
you boughtf"
That's all from the Bon Marche
but there may be few more pairs
Should say there were. as Warren
looked over the bills and found all
Together over two dozen pairs OF
gloves, which amounted to s1s And
Helen had declared. Gloves, s5.e
But. Warren. ! tell you I've almost
WORN OUT some of those glovesi''
Let me see all the gloves you've
GOT
Rebelliously Helen took them out
and Warren found that only four
pairs had been worn. His face grew
more grim as he changed the IS to SIS
and wrote -four pairs worn.
Where's this hat for I25 francs
Haven't even declared that?"
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

A man was fixing his motor car
''Troubles' asked a bystander
yes" was the laconic answer
What power car is it?'
Forty horse came the answer.
What seems to be the matter with
it?"
We'll. from the way she. acts L
should say that SO of the horses were
dead
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

Hickory Wood, the pantomime
writer, used to tell an amusing story
of theatrical manager who once
shared his box at provincial panto-
mime. When the principal comedian
entered and did his best, the mana
ger. with scowl on his brow, leaned
over to Mr. Wood, and remarked. Il
want to engage that man for next
Christmas in my production
DO you think he is funny2" Mr..
Wood asked.
"screamingly funny" returned the
manager.
"Then why don't you laugh?" asked
Mr. Wood.
Laugh. when he's got his eyes on
me?' replied the manager And
every smile means that hell ask an
other five week"
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
1fxL A Charming Short Story,
0/uHujALILEF Complete.

Il thank you. old boy. You can't
imagine how madly I love her"
But tell me one thing-does she
return your love?"
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03

through her trunk until she found
three silk sachet bags.
You see these?' shaking them at
him. while I was in Paris / emp
tied out the old sachet and bought
four bottles of make which cost
only francs an ounce there and SO
an ounce at home. And / deliberately
emptied 1t out of the original bottles
to keep from paying duty, l sup
pose you think that's dishonest-well
don'tv passionateIy. I'D do it
again! | haven't any respect for that
customs law-and I'll break in when
ever 1 can.'
HELEN DEFIANT
And, throwing herself back on the
berth, she sobbed defiantly
Her only thought when she had
emptied the bottles had been that
they would take up too much room
in her trunk. 1t was not until War
rem had goaded her into the perverse
desire to show her reckless defiance
of the law that she had thought of
the duty. And now as she lay there
convulsed with sobs she was trying
to think Of something more reckless
that she could say or do, in defiance
of paying duty.
| For a moment Warren had been too
staggered by this hysterical out
burst to think of an adequate reply.
'But now he jammed his steamer cap
on his head with sneering:
| You can thank your stars you're
woman. If you were man with
those fine ideas. you'd have landed in
Sing Sing before now
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
THE REAL SITUATION

1t took him very long to reconcile
himself to his fate But the day came
when he discovered how wise had
been his old friends warning. He
discovered that Jutta Won Werdenfels
had never thought of loving him, but
was in love with his nephew, dash
ing young officer, whose guardian he
was. She had merely tried to win his
good grace to make him give his con-
sent to their engagement. while he,
like an old fool, had taken her atten-
tions for a sign of love
He was annoyed that he had be-
trayed his feelings to his. old friend,
but at last his good humor conquered
and now he laughed heartily at his
own foolishness. From. that day he
never tried to appear younger than
he was, but even began to fiirt with
his new dignity as grandfather.
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
81 81 81 z. 80. 81 81 .1Ls 50. 81. 5s
3 y $ s 2 s. Y s. 2 = = s. 2 Ss 2 =

THESE PICTURES ARE or
MISS EDNA CARR, a PRETTY
AMERICAN GIRL. WHO SOME
MONTHS AGO DECIDED TO
ENTER a CONVENT.
AT THAT TINE SHE WAS
VISITING FRIENDS IN ENG
LAND, AND WAS so CHARMED
WITH THE COUNTRYSIDE AD-
JOINING THE THAMES THAT
SHE CHANGED HER PLANS
AND RESOLVED TO BE
HERMIT.
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
HIS son

why. certainly. Jutta is so sweet
and kind to me that I must have had
heart of stone not to fall in love
with her. She positively spoils me
with her attentions.
Salten shook his head. %
And what does your son, Egon, say
to this?''
He will have to reconcile himself
to his fate"
HE gets a mother who is younger
than himself"
but, surely, I am independent of
my SOM"
Then can only repeat my con-
gratulations
II thank you heartily"
At this moment the butler entered
with a telegram.
Brenkendorff looked annoyed. He
tore the envelope open and ran his
eyes over the paper. Then his hands
dropped, he bit his teeth together and
stared into the air. One blow had
destroyed his happiness. He threw
lne Telegram INTO the waste paper
basket and walked nervously UP and
down the floor Then he threw him
self into chair and buried his face
in his hands.
Salten picked up the telegram and
read:
Triumph, grandfather. The heir
has come. A splendid boy. Every
thing is we'll ECON"
Salten stood silent for a moment.
Then he laid his hand on his old
friends shoulder.
Believe me, Heinrich. il is better
So This telegram came just in time.
1t will save you and others from many
bitter disappointments,'
Brenkendorff was silent. He felt
his old friend was right. The tele-
gram had awakened him from a
dream. He realized suddenly that he
was an old man and his castles in the
air collapsed in a moment. His
courage was gone nov. A girl of 20
and grandfather, The future looked
The San Francisco call., 1913-10-03
s, 8, s.

THE TOP PICTURE on THE
LEFT SHOWS THE BARN-LIKE
STRUCTURE THAT SHE HAS
CHOSEN FOR HER HOME.
THE TOP PICTURE on THE
RIGHT SHOWS HER PAINT
ING, WHICH is ONE OF HER
MANY ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
MISS CARR DOES ALL OF
HER OWN WORK. THERE IS
NO HUMAN HABITATION
WITHIN A MILE OF HER
"HOME,- AS EACH SIDE OF
THE GROUNDS ON WHICH
THE HUT IS SITUATED BE-
LONGS TO BIG ESTATES.
MISS CARR IS ONE OF THE
SIGHTS OF HENLEY on
THAMES. AND EVERY sun
DAY SHE IS FORCED TO
GREET A HOST OF VISITORS.
The Springdale news., 1913-04-25
HIGHLAND VIEW.

Corn planting is the order Of the day.
 Mrs. 4. ! Smith is visiting at Habberton.
 Mir. and Mrs. ee Clark were Sun day visitors at their son Silas' near Langley.
 Central Day, at Habberton seems to have gotten confused with a sing ing convention We are sorry if 1t was through any blunder of ours.
 Apple trees are in full bloom, that is. some of them There will be no Ben Davis in this part worth mentioning There is d good pros peet of q fair crop of Wine Sap, Black TWig. and Jonathan.
 While coming home Sunday after noon from Herbert MeMin's, where they had been spending the day, the buggy broke down with Mrs and Mrs Clements and they had ito leave it on the road Accidents will happen
 Mir. and Mrs Dalton Dutton and Mr. and Mrs Jesse Nell We're YtsI- tors at our singing Sunday after noon Dalton and Mrs. Nell help ed us in our singing and their help was greatly appreciated Ed Nous ar of Wesley was a welcome visl- tor also Come again. We are al ways glad to welcome singers. also those that like to hear singing
 Evelyn
The Springdale news., 1913-04-25
FRIENDS AGAIN
". J. Bryan and Champ Clark Set
 tie Their Differen

Washington. April 1s. Speaker Champ Clark and : cfetary William Jennings Bryan met al a rriya lun- Cheon here today, shook hands and issued public statements. declaring they had buried the hatchet and put the personalities of the Baltimore convention vi | T bygones
 Intense interst was aroused in po- l#tieal circles oyer the reconciliation Of the two antagonists whose differ enees became acute as q result Of events al the Baltimore convention.
 Statement by Bryan
 Secretary Bryan's prepared state ment, issued tonight, is as follows:
 My meeting with Mir. Clark has served to clear up misunderstand- ing as to my exact position at the Baltimore convention. ] have tried 10 make it clear to Mr. Clark that I have always regarded and do now regard him as q good. clean. Pro- gresslye Democrat. Ii my language at Baltimore created any impression that was charging Mir. Clark with being in sympathy with any of the reactionary forces, l an glad of the opportunity te correct any such mis- construction Of my words or acts for I did not intend to reflect upon either the personal or political integ- rity of the speaker IL is my earn est=Wish that there may be ordial co operation between the State Depart nm and the sRs aker in carrying out the policies of the administratio
 Statement bt Clark
 II -re s Speak ( a15ss aJf ment:
 ''It is beyond the power of Col. Bryan or any oue else=fo= correct the injustice that was done to me at Baltimore The loss of the presi- dential nomination was small thing as compared to the injury done to my reputation =in the eyes Of the world
 But now that Col Bryan in his public statement has done what he can to remove the injurious impress sions that were created by his Bal timore speeches, l feel that We can all better cooperate for the good of the administration I can only repeat what I have publicly declared time and time again that all personal and selfish concerns must gI way to the duty that all Democrats owe to our party and to oue co ntry.
 The reconciliation Is looked upon in political circles as the most signi- fieant political development of the administration
The Springdale news., 1913-04-25
BEST

Everybody is fixing to plant corn in this part
 Hickory Grove Sunday school is progressing nicely
 Tell Bogart and family will leave for Carlton, kans., the latter Iart of this week
 Mrs. Lula Bogart and three lit- tie children are visiting with father and mother, Mir. and Mrs. Wisdom
 A large crowd attended the sing ing at Dock Wisdom's Saturday night and all report nice quiet time
 Saturday night and Sunday is the regular monthly meeting at Gott- age Hill Rev. Joe Roberts is the pastor.
 Fishing time has come and We would like for some one 10 make a collection and order Will Ham mons a hammock so he weuldn { get so tired sitting on the bank of the river He could put the ham mock close to the water in a shade and fish and not get so tired.
 tT Don't Know