New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-18
AS | WAS SAYING

Arabic" writes American sojourner in Jeru-
salem lis a most attractive language-so dinerent
that one is not confused by anything one knew be-
fore" Something in this Plague take a language
where a medicn is doctor, Photographic pho-
tographer a repetition a rehearsal and shy infant
savage" and a hdgety infant "disspated' and
condemned army horse reformed! We prefer
Arabic. And yet there times when resembances
Of sound are quite magnifcently advantageous
Take Hebrew where the word for blood is dam
and the word for tent is ohel. If you have won
dered why the clergy study Hebrew so diligently
You now know Tent. Another blood book AGENT
And speaking of cergymen, one Of them is pre-
dieting lady Notwithstanding Bess Kate the
Kid Joan H.. etc. etc. Happy thought! owing
to this benign safety valve we shall escape the
Embarrassment as now haflicts country Dose
nyme shall be nymeless
Remains that small item Of unfinished business
10 demonstrate that cat is Atheist. Watch
the Professor, We begin by considering cats in the
light Of dogs
10 our dog We are God. We are the power not
himself making for bones. We are the Absolute
We are Providence We are perfect. When We
lick him it is for his own good. What we say goes
Beyond MS there is no appeal. And the dog loves
u.s. and trusts u.s. and worships This Is one on
the dog. There are several others, we regretfully
admit yet We refuse to digress The point Is, our
dog makes a religion Of us, and viii follow us hfty
miles whenever commanded not 10.
But cats-will our cat follow MS fifty feet? Does
our cat believe in us. or obey US worship us?
Does our cat believe in obey worship anybody
or ANYTHING? No. brethren, That cat has no creed
She has no religion. She has no soul. She Is
downright cynical. unfeeling rampageous Atheist
All such will burn.
DO not chde the German Emperor for supplying
his automobile with an electric sign that shows the
motto "God be with u.s. II Is a commodous
limousine. not one Of those contryances with a
little seat behind
Here we pause to remind California that twisting
the Chrysanthemum' tail is perhaps less prudent
than Of yore. They have signed new Mikado, over
yonder and he appears to have spunk. Indeed
some suspect that he is still unterrifed by Ameri-
can ferocty as displayed in our drastic treatment
Of Mexico Lucky for us that can count on Sec
rotary Bryans steadying tongue,
No offence TO Mr. Charles Ram Kennedy, but our
heart pranced within us when encountered
piece called "No Servant in the House" Speed the
day. Away with those products Of natural selec-
ton the other end to--survival Of the unhttest"
Replace them with the electrical dish -smasher
the recently patented soap-consuming clothes de-
stroyer, the ingenious mechanical coffee -spilling
dumb waitress the automatic cop feeder and
that almost human mechanism the coOkless flavor
extractor, without which gentlemans kitchen
is complete. And if this seems bit rough on
servants pray recall that it merely hastens the
inevitable so keen is the demand for vocasts at
the moving picture shows.
How @e wish We were Mr.. Charles Dana Gibson
Then we could keep right on drawing that slant
eyed sauaw-cheeked skinny -necked, basketball
haired fright and thinking her more artistic than
her exquisite predecessor. H. H. H.