The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-03-20
On the Spur Of the
Moment
From the IiickeyvIIIc ,ClarIon.
By Roy K. Moulton

i. EGnert Peavey is what might be
caiieo u cosmopolitan. His shirt has
got an initial letter ''H' on the sleeve
MS underclothcs is marked ID L. W."
ana the Initials cut In the inside band
OF his hat Is go. *" IIo has evident
~ travelled around some. The new.
trimmer says all blends Is not so bad
as painted. and. by gravy, We don't
see now they could be.
Rev. Hanks. of the Hard Shell
meetin' house. has got the greatest
collection of counterfeit money in this
country, and he il afraid to go tray
elm for fear he will be arrested for
shoVcling the queer" He can't tell
bad money from good, but evidently
most of his congregation can. Hi
liusSins reports good froggin' down
lsquazy Creek way Hank Tumms ate
fourteen dozen legs at one sitting this
week and several fellcrs Is getting
square meal for the first time since
rabbit season last fall Hi has got Il
new and swift way to catch frogs He
tickles tho frog under the left foreleE
with straw and the frog laughs and
opens his mouth and then Hi takes
an automizer and squlrts the frogs
mouth full of snuT and the frog
sneezes himself to death This is more
humane than hitting same with club
or .spearinS same with an old rusty
table fork fastened to a fshpole. as
parts.
Mr., and Mrs. Arson Frisby, the
leaders OF the smart set of polite So
ciety. have got new iron dog i'm
their front yard which is so true to
life that Dog Catcher Hiram Sphinx
tried to arrest 1T the other day for
not having a license tag. but couldn't
lift 1t Into his wagon.
Business Is SO dull and folks around
here have got so gol durn mulch lon
Eevity that Undertaken Amos Butts
is dickering with onr Of our parcel
post delivery fellcrs and may sell him
the ncarse to use for a delivery wagon.
William Tibbitts said hearse would
be quite appropriate for some of our
rural delivery fellers. because thcy
neVer get dead and can't take much
pleasure In readin' them Old Man.
Hicks lost his wooden leg in the good
roads south OF town Yesterday and is
trying to get somebody TO dive for it.
Hicks Is using a scythe smath now
for his off leg, but don't like II rs if
makes him walk crooked and folks
Is apt to get false Impression Hicks
never takes drink unless he Is alone
or with somebody
Renfrew Binks. our station agent
had his nose broke by mail sack
winch was throwed out of the 5:1T
last Thursday night, and n mail sacl,
from the 7:47 Knocked the chimney
OFT the railroad depot the same night.
The draft In the station stove and
Renfrew's nose amt been good since.
Jed Frick. our popular and congeniai
blacksmith, also frog spears made witt,
neatness and dispatch, sat down uncX
pected on red-hot horseshoe We'd
nesday last. Good luck Jed. ANA
riah Tilson. our tonsor!ai artist. has
got new mcssagin machine that
runs by electricity for rnassagin'
faces. etc Miss Maize Jinkey dropped
her rat in the coffee pot last SATURDAY
morning and she will not have to color
her hair darker so it will match tho
rat.
Grandma Bihbins, who has boen tn
very feeble health for the last nine
years has got Il job pumping the organ
at the u Il. meeiin' house. She spent
last week patchin' up the holes In the
organ bellows wish mustard plasters.