The Washington times., 1913-09-03
DOMESTIC
DIALOGUE

Time: 7:a0 a. m.
Place: Bed room OF Green's fat.
NK RS. O. tsoothingiy)-You ought
1" to get up. Ferdinand.
Mr.. G. with much irrita-
tion)-why do you always say
YOU ought to get up?" Why is II
than on yours? 1t makes me mad.
know l gotta get up some time. You
| needn't remind me of II.
Mrs. G. Igently)-But some one has to
remind you. Ferdinand. You got that
alarm watch and said you were going
to hang 1t way down at the bottom of
the bed. And now you've practiced
until you can turn I. of with your foot.
perfectly well. l don't see what good
| that does.
Mr.. G. (grouchily)-Np. There's lots
of things you don't see. I'll bet you
there wouldn't be so many divorces II
| wives weren't always bounding their
husbands about getting up early. And
then YOU stay in bed!
Mrs. G. (tremulously)-Becau I've
had miserable night. l just tossed
and tossed all night long
Mr.. G. (sourly)-Yeh. that's what you
L
been asleep myself? I'll bet you sleep
fine.
Mrs. q. (aghastl-Oh. Ferdinand, I do
not! And. anyway, all this time we're
talking it's getting later and later,
Mr. G. with bitter sarcasm)-No?
Well, tell Della to start the coffee and
bacon, and maybe. II they smell good
enough. it'll be an inspiration for me
to arise.
(Mrs. Green howls to Della to put the
aforesaid articles on the fire. Mr.. Green
gets up, with elaborate languidness)
Mr. G. Isuddenly)-say. that laundry
doesn't send back my shirts at all. Just
the other day l bought six new ones
and / had lot of old ones and now
there aye only two in the drawer.
Mrs. @. comfortably. from the bed)-
That laundry is very satisfactory, Fer
dinand I've been having your things
done there for three years-and | al
ways keep a list
Mr.. G.-Well. where's that gray shirt
then? The ones with purple stripes,
haven't had IL on my bacF for two
weeks, so 1t ought to be in the drawer
but II amt.
Mrs. G. (sweetly)-1t may be some
where else.
Mr.. G. (explosively)-weII. where?
What do you keep me standing I'm my
bare feet for? Why don't you tell me
where II is? I'm not a mind reader. Do
you want me to get pneumonia?
Mrs. G.-I don't see why You can't
I put on your socks and shoes before
your shirt. I never knew you dressed
that way. In despair). l suppose IN
have to get up and get II myself
Mr.. G. Gnspired)-All right I'll 20
back to red until you find it. Prepares
TO retire AGAIN..
Mrs. G. (cheerily)-Here 1t Is!
Mr.. G. dn utter disgusO-Aw. What
did you find II so fast for? Gee! I
think you just set out to see how rniser-
able you can make me in the mo. ming.
Mrs. G. (gaily, in her endeavur to
cheer him)-Don't you smell tre bacon.
Ferdipand?
Mr. C. (drably)-I 90 not! 1 smell
cabbage.
Mrs. G.-Cabbage. Who'd be cooking
cabbage at this hour in the morning?
Mr.. G. (vociferously)-Yeh! Who'd be
| cooking ANYTHING at this hour of the
morning except a slave driver getting
his slaves off to work.
Mrs. G. (uncasily)-Oh. no. Ferdinand.
| lissen: Lissen to me: You mustn't have
a chill. Wait. IN tuck you IN ali snug
| and bring you a piping hot IittIe break
! fast-something that'n tempt you.
! THEN you won't have a ,'hin. FerGi.
nand Just to please me, You Won't.
| will you, Ferdinand? ..
Mr.. G. (making a GREAT sacrifice)-
I'll Try nat TO, dear. -