davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
Shopping In the Ozark District.

"Ycu keep sportin' goods yur. don't
you?" inquired frazzled looking
citizen from out on Rumpus Ridge. ad
dressing the proprietor Of the hard.
wore store at P0lkvil'a, Ark. Eth
heh, that's what lowed. Well. what
was amin to git was q straight
Jacket for a crazy man."-Kansas City
Star
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
A
Little Nonsense
Now ana 7hlH
Wash Fay.

Wash Fay.
When Eve held forth in Paradise
she found much pleasure in it.
For when she did her Monday wash
1t only took minute.
milwaukee, Sentinel.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07

O OIL kinds come to US. We carr,
complete line Of the newes, te.,,,.
and best values In Jewelry a. AN
prices.
Come In and see our disp,a,
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07

The ST. rc;cr. bu.g Independent
n,arifes;s jua IL 1t al The
rptcness and hip "y WITH Steaks
its charming li;4c home city az
- Peic." NO child shoald be mad
t. suffer from the bad taste of par
'nis in hcstowins an inappropriate, .
name upon it.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07

The Polk county edition OF the
Tampa Tribune. issued last Monday,
was another one Of the notable sue
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
Little Surprises.

Mister. here's then six tons o
coal you ordered this mornin'."
"No, sir; this isn't real. genuine
olive oil: that's why we can't sell 1t
so cheap"
"You don't need to waste any
sympathy on me. old top; I'm salts
fed with my work. my hours. and
my wages"
Gentlemen, the conductor is ask
ing us to move forward in the car.
Core on; there's plenty OF room. :
"'ll right. old scout; you get your
increase in salary The fans all tel
me you're worth It,"
Young man. your RESIGNATION Is
In the waste basket; I may as well
tell Won that we're going to make
you a junior partner"
TRAGEDIES Told in Headlines.
lie BOUGHT the Bonds on the Nd
vice OF a Friend"
Husband Chimes His Mind
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
YOUR TINE

VIII always be right il Won h..
watch OF 10 and let US regnI.,
clean and keep It In repair 10, ~.
yoe w.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
From the same office 10 issuod
rur ,AKEr.ANn NEW0

4 weekly newspaper giving . re-
nlme of local matters. crop condi'
lions, county affairs. etc. Sent anJ'
where for 500 per year.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-03-07
The Evening ,cielrdlll

Published every afternoon fr0IC tae
Kentucky Building. Lakeland. ia
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
TILLMAN and HIS COLLEAGUES
CONTINUED from First Page.)

the rules and precedents, they will be
subjected to very many notifications,
and the party itself will become a
laughing stock.
Th Biblical quotation I used few
days ago will become historical. The
wild asses Of the desert, athirst and
hungry, have broken into the green
corn" That applies all along the line
from the top to the bottom. The SEN
ators themselves are green and the
Democrats of the country have been
"out in the cold" so long and have had
so little hope or opportunity to get pa
tronage or any of the offices that they
are simply wild. President Wilson will,
/ hope and believe, as soon as he be-
comes familiar with the usages and
customs of the other presidents in
dealing with congress, become a good
herdsman. He is going slow, am glad
to say, about making appointments;
has adopted David Crockett's motto:
BE sure you are right and then go
ahead" Indeed, have no reason to
believe otherwise than that the mill
tant Democracy, after its long exile,
will assist and aid the president to
carry out his programme and make
his glorious vision as portrayed in his
inaugural address q reality. q
/ shall, what little time have left
in this world, watch with deep inter-
est and concern his success or failure.
I am sure, If he does fail, 1t will be
due to the congress and not to him. j
appeal to all Democrats to throw aside
selfish ambitions and impulses, and
let us all unite and work for the good
of this great republic. E.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

-Keowee Courier: The announce
ment Of the death Of Rev. R. @. Pear
son, the noted evangelist, which oc-
Cured at his home in the city Of Co
lumbia, this state, will be received by
friends all over the state with deep re-
gret. Rev. Mr.. Pearson was probably
the best known and most universally
loved minister in this section Of the
country, he having preached in nearly
every city, town and hamlet in South
Carolina, North Carolina and Georgia
as an evangelist. He was one of the
strongest ministers Of his day-force-
full, logical liberal. yet withal staunch
and strict Christian both by precept
and example. His death Is a distinct
loss to the church and to the country
BY creed a Presbyterian, the limita-
tions Of the Gospel as preached by him
reached from center to circumference
Of the universe to the very portals of
the kingdom of God. We take from a
dispatch the following facts relative to
this able minister, whose death we.
with thousands of others who knew
him and held him in high esteem.
deeply deplore: Rev. r. g. Pearson.
professor of English Bible and Pastor
al Theology at the Columbia Theologi-
cal Seminary, died here early Satur-
day morning, after an illness of one
month. Heart trouble was the cause
Of the death, and 1t was not altogether
unexpected. DR.. Pearson was one Of
the ablest minds in the south, and he
was we'll known throughout the entire
general assembly. He was born in
Starksville, Miss. He is survived bv
his wife, He left no children. DR..
Pearson was, before coming to the
seminary two years ago, an evange-
list. He taught the largest Sunday
school class in the Presbyterian
church here"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
FOR SALE :

Two nice new cottages on the corner
of East Jefferson and Railroad ave.
Front of Col. ]. W. Johnson's resi-
dence. Price. $2,1O0.00.
IA Acres-Joining ]. G. Kirkpat-
rick and others; miles from Sharon.
Price, $1,900.00. ae19S 10 80 =.
1Oi Acres-Known as the Sherer
place: 7 miles from Sharon. Price,
is Acres-At Sharon. Price. s7O0.
One-Half Acre Lot and Groom res
idence in Sharon; Joining L. II. Good
and w. p. Youngblood.
y. J.. Smith House and Lot-In Clo-
yer. Price, $3,400.00. fe 49, &
56S Acres-Half mile Of Beersheba
church; good school; 4-room house;
good water, plenty OF wood. S1,300.00.
The Jim Bel house for sale, ~, $50.
165 AcreS-Near George r. Wal
lace. Joining Avery and Smith lands,
4 miles from Yorkville; 1 2-story g.
room house; 3-horse farm, open; 76
acres In timber; 8 springs, streams.
Big. new barn; tenant houses; half
mile Of Beth-Shiloh church: 10 acres
q 81 IL Acres-Jo dining r. r. Smith,
Ed Roddey and others; good dwell
ings, 40 acres In cultivation: good out
buildings. Property Of ]. M. Camp
bell. = -
IO1 Acres-Joining Harvey Hamel
land Mr.. Youngblood; good dwelling
land outbuildings: half mile Of good
school Price $500 per acre.
so Acres-40 acres under cultiva-
ton, good barn; miles of Yorkviile.
/ 100 Acres-Joining the Kizers' land.
near Kings Mountain battle ground:
known as the Love Est lands. 5000
Acre for quick sale. Offers wanted
on 1t. t{H.iS SO
The Worthy Farm--At Sharon. con.
sisting Of 81 Acres, nicely located on a
public highway. Ii miles from depot.
Very cheap for quick sale.
j. C.. Will BORN.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
1.-THE ACID TEST"

II you have a piece Of metal sup
posed to be pure gold and about which
you are not sure, just drop 1t into
Nitric acid. II 1t Is gold there will be
no more results than If dropped In
water, but IL brass or mostly brass,
and allowed to remain long enough,
1t will be reduced to liquid. Brass
can't stand the acid test. Ffgurative-
ly speaking, the acid test "can be ap-
piled" to individuals, corporations, or
governments. Comparative few OF
either can stand II successfully. but
some can. In applying the test to Life
Insurance Companies, the company
that passed 1t successfully would be
one that could show that 1t had lived
long enough to establish Its perma-
nency beyond a shadow Of doubt-was
relatively safe as the U. S. govern
ment, that 1t had never issued spec
ulative or deferred dividend policy,
had always given every policy holder
all that was coming to him, whether
he knew his rights or not, and had
carried out its contracts at mini
mum cost. The Mutual Benefit Is one
of the very few-not exceeding three
companies-that can stand this test,
and 1t in many respects, stands at the
head Of the others. Don't you think
you would be better satisfied II insured
In a company that could stand this
test than In one that cannot? I am
sure You would, especially when the
cost will be no more.
SAM NJ. GRIST, Special Agent.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
4aluuruas department.
The Objection of Fritz.-A veteran

The Objection of Fritz.-A veteran
of more than two score years of service
in the wholesale clothing field relates
the following. 1t proves that entertain
ing buyers is by no means a modern
custom, and that entertainment is not
always appreciated by those who receive
1t. The scene is laid in a local mems
wear house some forty years ago. The
chief characters are a salesman and
the buyer, shrewd merchant tailor
named Fritz. Fritz had come down
from his place of business that day,
and In the morning had bought bought
carefully, wisely and well. Apprr La
tive of his good buying, the salesman
took Fritz to a rather elaborate lunch.
Returning to the house, Fritz was
shown a bolt of cloth. He scowled at
and fingered 1t and, finally, bought 1t.
For the next hour Fritz continued to
look at merchandise, his scowl deep
ening all the time. Nothing seemed to
please him. Finally becoming a lit
tie exasperated. the salesman asked.
''Whats the matter, Fritz? Don't you
feel we'll"
"Ach, I'm all right" replied the buy
er, 'but since you made up the price OF
that fine meal on the first piece you
sold me this afternoon, why keep tack
ing it on to every piece you show"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
ANCIENT JAPANESE COFFIN
Made of Stone and Found in a Shrine
15s,4r Near oknshi.

lag4! Near oknshi. III
There is an Inari shrine in the town
of okushi. 'Ibarah Prefecture, in the
compound Of which some building OPP
erations are going on. says Toxic let
ter. The laborers engaged in level
ing the ground were digging the other
day when they unearthed a large stone
coffin.si ~ - 80
The news was Immediately commu-
nicated to the chief priest, who sent
for the head man Of the village. In
his presence the cover Of the stone
coffin was taken off, and inside were
found many gold rings and other
treasures, such as kaudatama, maya
tama and other ancient vessels. Judg-
ing from the construction OF the comm
IL is 1900 years old. News OF the dis.
coyery was forwarded to the local
government office, and an official was
sent to examine the articles found.
The shrine itself Is very ancient
one and in II the Kuraine- -tma-no- mi
koto Is deified It was for while re-
moved from the village by the COM
mand of Mitsukuni Tokugawa, Lord OF
Mito, but In 1902 1t was taken back
to its former site. Some earth was
taken from the compound OF the great
Inarf shrine at Yamashiro, Kyoto, and
placed under the main building or this
shrine with formal ceremony. Since
then It has been customary for the
Daimyo of Mito to bear expense for
repairs to the shrine, and one OF his
retainers was always sent as speciai
messenger at festival times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

"Oh good heavenly Father, 1 know
that I have been a very naughty,
naughty, girl, but oh dear, I am 80
very thirsty, ana mamma, papa and
the baby all want to drink so much.
Do good God, give US water, and /
will never, never be naughty again.
The gaunt, half-starved, desperate
men gathered, around the wagons and
listened to the humble petition. One
voiced the rest and said, May God
grant it," Soon the voice Of the little
child, in cheerful accents sounded
clear in the silent night:
"Oh, mother, mother, get me wa
ter; oh / can hear 1t running; oh, do
get some water for baby and me-"
They thought her delirious from
her sufferings when suddenly babel
of sounds broke forth from the oxen
and mules, all frantic and endeavor-
ing to break loose from the wagon
poles. A rustling noise called their
attention to a slight depression near
the wagons, and on investigating the
cause they found water, clear and
sparkling, gushing up out Of the sand.
This spring continued to flow, run
ming due north for 20 miles, then was
lost in the sand. In places 1t was
two miles wide and from four to twen-
ty feet deep. Along this new river
life arose, and there the desert BIOS
somed like the rose. 1t changed the
desert into: Gods park. Who shall
say 1t was not an answer to the faith
Of child ?-Christian Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

Carrying Out orders.-The mistress
came downstairs and tried the door OF
the sitting room, only to find 1t lock-
ed against her. while the key, which
was usually in the lock, was missing
Bridget, I can't get into the sitting
room," she cried.
"Shure, it's mesself knows that; an
ye won't, fur I hev the kay in me
pocket"
open the door Immediately"
"Will yez go in If I do?"
Certainly / will"
Then yez won't get the kay"
"Open the door say. What do you
mean?"
Sure, it's by your own orders. Just
yesterday we said, Don't let me come
downstairs in the morning an see any
dust on the sitting room furnitur. Sc
/ just puts the kay in me pocket, an
says l, Then she shan't!" !"'-Weekly
Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

A Brilliant Financial coup.-Chair-
man Pujo Of the now famous commit
tee was condemning, at dinner In
washington, certain market-rigging
tactics.
"These tactics" he said, remind me
of Gobsa Golde. Gobsa in his younger
DAYS was a shoe salesman in the west
and once the stage coach he was
travelling in was held up by a band
Of robbers.
"All the passengers, Gobsa included
were made to elevate their hands
above their heads, and then one rob-
ber went through their pockets while
the rest of the band covered them with
revolvers.
when the robber came to Gobsa
Golde, the millionaire-to-be said hur-
riedly:
EXCUSE me-just a minute, Mr.
Road Agent
"And he took out his wallet, drew q
SO bill from 1t, and extending the bill
to the fellow-passenger next after
him in line, he said:
Here's that ten 1 borrowed from
you, yesterday, Smithers.'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

that during her reign nobody should
be put to death; and she has kept her
word. She is the first sovereign that
ever showed this regard to the human
species. Malefactors are now con-
demned to serve in the mines and
other public works; regulation not
less prudent than humane, since 1t
renders their punishment of some ad-
vantage to the state. In other coun-
tries. they only knew how to put a
malefactor to death with the appara-
tus of an executioner! but are not able
to prevent the execution Of crimes.
The terror Of death does not, perhaps,
make such impression on evil doors,
who are generally given to idleness, as
the fear Of chastisement and hard la
Dor, renewed every day." ...
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
a Sentence correet.-Forme:

Getting Sentence correet.-Former
Judge Peter s. Grosscup is response
BILE for this one, related at dinner re-
Gently: u-.
Noah Webster had just completed
his dictionary. After his strenuous
labors he sought relaxation in fir
tation with his wife's housemaid. This
AFFAIR Of the heart was conducted un-
der most trying circumstances to Noah
for Mrs. Webster was constantly
shopping about the house, so 1t was
not to be wondered at that one day
when Noah and the pretty servant
were exchanging kisses, in walked
Mrs. Webster. ... ....
why, Noah, am surprised! she
exclaimed.
"The great photographer was start
led, but his dignity did not desert
him.
Looking at his wife with a frown
OF disapproval, he said:
my dear, you certainly merit a
rebuke. Here you are, the wife OF q
dictionary maker, and yet when you
entered the room just a moment ago
you exclaimed, am surprised. My
dear, i am the one who is surprised
you are astonished.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
Tn. Express and the Parcels Post

no Express aNo tne FdrCois FooS
A case has been reported from Mil
waukee which bears upon the reason
ableness Of express company rates as
compared with the parcel post rates,
and which, if it should become widely
exploited, will have a tendency to In
crease the use of the parcel post and
diminish the patronage OF the express
service. A Detroit man, thinking to
test the relation between the express
and parcel post rates, and also suspi-
cious that the express companies were
using the post, shipped box of cigars
from Detroit to Milwaukee, paying 40
cents express charges. He then went
in person to Milwaukee and found that
the parcel had been delivered by par
eel post bearing % cents worth of
stamps, proving beyond question that
the express company had made IL
cents on the transaction, which cost 1t
% cents. Thus it's profit ran to over
81 per cent on the actual outlay. 1t Is
a question whether the government
can take cogniZance Of this case. OF
course, an express company Is not
necessarily prohibited from using the
parcel post. But the interstate COM
merce commission may take an inter-
est in the matter If it should appear
that this Is not an isolated instance.
but that the express companies are
using the post regularly for small par
cells and charging their regular express
rates. 1t is no particular concern Of
the shipper II he chooses the express
as a medium of transmittal in deliber-
ate preference to the parcel post, but
the commission may find in the charg-
ing of excessive rates, grounds for a
further revision of express company
charges in all cases where the service
for which the charge is made Is actu-
ally rendered ultimately by the gov
ernment. A simple way to get at this
matter would be to double the rate to
be paid by any recognized common
carrier or express company for parcel
post service. 1t is important that the
public should be given the fullest pos
sible benefit of the parcel post facility
and Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

Followed lnstruetions.--'President
Mellen Of the New Haven system al
lows neither wrecks nor investigations
to dampen his humor."
The speaker was a Boston railroad
er. He continued:
81 made a pretty bad mistake las,
week but President Mellen, amid al
his business worries, took my faul,
good naturediy. He just said l re.
minded him of a new brakeman on the
Sunapee line.
"This brakeman, the first day out
had his duties explained by the con-
ductor.
.t'You see,' the conductor said, when
/ call a stations name-Concord, OF
Boston or what not-you must cal
the same at your end. Understand"
Sure said the brakeman. Sure
Mike, understand
80 they started off, and the first
stop was Sunapee.
"sSunapee!' roared the conductor
as the train slowed down.
"An instant later poking his head
in at the rear door OF the car the
brakeman roared:
".Same at this end!'" ..
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

A German Fairy Tale.-As the cob
bier stepped into his shop his scold of
wife started to lecture him unmer-
cifully for coming in late.
BE quiet, Zenobia" said he, affably.
To-day l have had a great stroke of
luck. Coming home / met fairy who
had lost her way. 1 put her on the
right track and out of gratitude she
presented me with this pair of slippers.
Whoever puts on the left one becomes
invisible. Then If you put on the right
one, you reappear. You will see that
this present is very valuable, because
we will be able to make lots of money
with it,"
Zenobia became still, and stood
overcome with curiosity in front Of her
husband.
Come" said he. "let us try it once"
She slipped or the left slipper-and
positively in the same instant vanish
ed away.
1T is really true!" said the cobbler,
astonished. she is gone!"
Then he took she right slipper went
out of the house and threw 1t in the
deepest well.-The F'liegende Blaetter.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
The Spring in the Desert.

In the early fifties party Of emil
grants on their way to the gold fields
Of California struck out on the desert
for the land Of promise. The trail
was we'll defined by abandoned wag-
ons and the bones Of horses, mules
and human beings. Struggling through
the yielding sand, the thermometer at
120 degrees, wheels falling apart,
animals dying from heat and thirst
they on the second night out halted
some ten miles from Cooks Well,
with water in. their kegs exhausted.
Tradition states that'.a a little 10
year -old girl was heard praying in one
Of the, wagons for water. It states
that In her childlike faith she said:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

Sg When the young husband reached
home from the office he found his wife
in tears.
"Oh john" she sobbed on his shoul-
der, II had baked a lovely cake and
put it out on the back porch for the
frosting to dry and-and the dog ate
it,"
We'll, don't cry about it, sweet
heart" ne consoled, patting the pretty
flushed cheek. Il know a man who
will give us another dog.
Record Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

1E Briggs: Here's a fellow who
writes about the acme of selfishness
without having the slightest idea what
II really Is.
Griggs: Well, what Is it?
Briggs: Having your wife a cold-air
fiend, insist upon leaving both win
dows in the room open and then roll
ing herself up in all the bed clothing!
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

The Greater Patriot.-One of the
eloquent Bourke Cockran's best st.
Patrick's Day stories concerns two
Irishmen, Tim and Pat.
Tim and Pat were congratulatmg
themselves upon their nationality.
We'll" said Tim, 'if l wasn't an
Irishman, guess I'd wish to be an
American"
"A good wish, Tim, my boy" said
Pat. But faith, If 1 was not an
Irishman, I'd wish ! was one"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

ia Stubb: What's the trouble, old
chap? You look angry enough to
fight.
Penn: Oh, I'm sizzling. 1t took me
an hour to button up my wife's waist
in the back, and then told her joke
and she laughed so much the buttons
all flew open. What's the use in teil-
ing woman joke. anyway?-Chica-
go Record Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
FOR FINAL DISCHARGE.

NJ OTICE is hereby given that have
IN made Final Settlement with the
Probate Court of York county, as Ex-
ecutor Of the estate of W. M. Faulkner,
deceased, and that on MONDAY,
APRIL IA, 1918, will make applica-
ton to said court for a Final Dis
charge from further liability in con-
nection with said estate.
19f5t w. c. THOMSON, Executor.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25
j FENCE E; Il WIRE

When you are ready to buy the
WIRE for the fence you intend 10
build, come and see US. We have THE
WIRE-As coed as ever was made
and we want to sell 1t. Hence our
prices viii please you. .
WAGONS 80. s q.
Don't buy Wagon until you see the
GREENSBORO. This wagon has been
on the market for years and Is as good
a Farm Wagon as Is built and our
prices and terms will satisfy you.
FARM TOOLS AND SUPPLIES
See us for Plows, Plow Shapes,
Singletrees, Trace Chains. Backbands,
etc., and for Heavy and Fancy Gre
ceries Meats, Lard, Flour, Sugar,
Corn, Oats, Feed Stuffs, Etc
REMEMBER Dunlop's Pat
ent Flour is the Best ever.
Yorkyille Banking & Mer. Go.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-03-25

Faithful to the Custom.-Disgusted
Pater (reading report of his sons poor
standing:) See here! Your standings
are much lower than they were before
Christmasi
Son: Yes, pop; but, you know, ev-
erything Is marked down after the
holidays.-Ex.