New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-22
AS | WAS SAYING

CHANGING covlv at the Bucharest Minerva 'our
companion every afternoon at BREAKFAST we ieou
that "AIahmet Kennel Bey, late chief of the genera
staff of the ottoman imperial navy slNee H'9'
lessons at a moderate fee.
Tough luck, Mahmet! Sorry! Ana yet Seoonu
string TO ones bow becomes perfect treasure al
times There is President Huerta, Tor instance
practising on his already, and jolly me suhS II
is too once he his way out OF Mexico awe lie
will make the funniest paragrapher on the ear'h
surface Caustic. though! Note his WHY SLASH
at Mexico and the European powers and our guillole
State Department in his 1ocular plea iol ie'oei'
ton:
'The recognition of this government by that OF
the United States would produce the same good ef-
feet among the Mexoans was produced by the
recognition Of each of the nations friendly to us
Whew! This is setting an awful pace for the pro-
fession.
What did we tell you? Pictorial shockers are rap
idly supplantng muckrake shockers. Attention ar
lists. Examine the illustrations on the very hrst
page of the Ladies Firesde Fudge ana you VIII
see that masterpieces bit too sporty for a oache-
Ior's den" can now be sold as warnings 10
mothers"
Here is richness, Opening bound volume OF
Hashimura We light upon this charming utterance
by William Jenny Bryan: IF elected 10 hoh'
White House I promise to be as useless as possible
thank YOU" This teaches that defeat can never
balk the purposes OF a great soul
Yes. stocks jumped forty points in three minutes
when Wall Street heard that Prince Albert OF
Monaco (and Monte Carlo was coming over On,
shamce, We regard such designs on inexperienced
guiclessncss as peculiarly goshawfui, and IL won
do for the Wall Street brethren to Say they only
intend to recover their own money, either since
who knows II It theirs to start with?
As means Of Frightening the summer resort we
advocate the paper snake-prcferably the -'-ceh'
size. Any dealer In Chinese goods will supply you.
The rest is easy. Simply coil your snake on inc
lawn-ninr yards. say. from the hotel piazza-while
the guests are at dinner and wait developments.
Shrleks bv the fair. Gee, that's some snake. by
the naturalist. Rush for stones. golf sticks and
garden tools by the brave. Cautious approach
cries Of "Oh. don't donG He's going to spring
from the piazza. And then
Well as 1t says in the novels We have survived
or ncomprchcnsible though it must seem to per
sons Of the readers intelligence. this story would
never have been written
Il vas a wonderful symposium. that newspaper
pow-wow about genius and talent. and. though We
poughcd clear through il. wc are not wholly be-
fuddled yet. 4 genius brethren, is chap who
goes through this vale Of tears borrowing nichels
from men Of talent
As there is none I'm the month let us console our
selves by considering the letter Il and it's absence
FOR many a good joke turns that Pronounce the
Rat the critical moment, we mean-and what re-
mains Of the following blithe ticker?
~ very gorgeous bar was opened in the Tivoh
Building and Bohemia went to criucise. Cotsford
Dicks remark. as nc surveyed the polished floor
and inaid walls. WAS: Dear mc!-parquctcric and
marqucterc the father and mother Of the Arts"
or take that pleasing yarn about George Bernard
Shaw. \ new neghbor Mr. MacIntyre wrote to
shaw begging leave TO call Seeing him on the
railway platform next morning. Shaw pointed
finger at his correspondent and said, accusingly
You're MacIntyre" Are you Shaw" said the
other and the author OF those profound farccs re-
Piled that he was absolutely shaw Doubtless
few English lessons from Mahmct Kennel Bey would
make the pun clearer. but where would it be without
the suppression Of an X?
II Is rough on Il, Of course. but happily We know
an asylum for abandoned Rs-a place called New
England where honest albeit needless. work is pro-
yded for them by the big hearted natives, who say:
Il sawr Emmar a-drawrin near"
There was a dreadful blast against this in a news
paper the other day. so We pumped the New Eng
lander. lie by means unprepared. Claimed
New Highlander tackled on an unnecessary be-
cause it sounded better" and quite understand
1t is Ike AIRY and rs matches
And speaking Of g. r. s., We did a few lines
back we hear that his wife has edited The Wis
dom Of Shaw" Bad practice! Let 1t he sque!ched
before II goes inch further. We pay too much
rent already and cannot afford house for every
syllable n man ever wrote or spoke thought
Guess this sad editorial duty should be assumed by
concert of powers-viz.. his wifes relatives.
We add grains OF salt before swallowing. espe-
CHILLY when news OF atrocities from the Bal
kans yet It and then sounds plausible and We
fully credit the report that something lively oc-
CURED Ncvrakop. Poor. poor Nevrakopi Il
knows not the Bulgarian for Cheese it,
II. L. III.