davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

tagonizes the policy that has hitherto
found expression in the regulation of
railways. That policy has been ami
mated mainly by the demand for the re-
duction of rates, as though there could
be no shortage of supply of railway ac-
eommodations. But the provision of ae-
commodations really is the larger prob
lem and the more important. The differ
ence between the existing rate and any
other rate, reasonably higher or lower,
is not enough to make any important
difference to any substantial enterprise,
or any ultimate consumer, and is negli-
gible by nearly all. But the check to
such as preceded the panic of 1907 is a
CAPE BY heroic efforts the railways
broke that blockade and so expanded
their facilities that no similar volume of
traffic can congest them now. But the
countrys business will never again
shrink to that volume which could not be
carried in 1906 Already there is need
for enlargement, as Mr. Elliott so well
indicates in his remarks upon the un-
finished condition of our railway system.
And railway construction is at its lowest
ebb for a dozen years.
This is the result of excessive atten-
ton TO reduction of rates as the supreme
object of regulation. The policy of reg
ulation is to reduce rates to the lowest
level which the law will allow this side
OF coniiscation. The policy Is to allow
only such rates as shall pay for the serv-
Ice, without allowance for the betterment
of facilities. For additions there must be
fresh capital. And fresh capital cannot
be got If the railways are starved down
TO the legal limit. The country must pay
or go without. The railways will not be
the chief sufferers by the policy of star
vation
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
Colonel Forsyth Here

Lieut. Col. William W. Forsyth, First
cavalry, U. S. A., whose post is at Yose-
mite, Cal, is the guest of his brother
A. r. Forsyth. He Is meeting many Bir-
mingham citizens and is being cordially
greeted by them.
There are 17S lieutenant colonies in
the United States army, including line
and staff, and Colonel Forsyth is neal
the bottom; but he is still youngish
man, and the retirements of the Off
GERS higher up occur rapidly. Colonel
Forsyth stands a good chance of being
full colonel within the next few years
and once a colonel he is almost sure to
become a brigadier general, and final
ly major general.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

beneficial to all the people he knew no
section. He sympathized thoroughly
with the southern farmers attempts
to increase the yield of his acres, and
gave every assistance in his power.
We are now in position to see the
great good which has been accom-
plished. The county fairs afford op-
portunity to view actual results.
There the farmer who has not pro-
gressed is enabled to learn how his
neighbor has profited by instruction.
The products of Alabama's soil are
such as would be the cause of pride to
any people. They are on exhibition at
the county fairs, and, of course, at the
big State Fair in Birmingham
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
How easy for Il weak man to break a
promise.
One way to make il SURF thing doubtful
is to bet on it.
The best cantaloupe is as hard to select
as the best automobile.
On windy day a modest woman never
has much business "a the streets.
Don't YOU feel sorry far people who are
so perverse as not to like YOU?
Occa sionally a commercial drummer
prevents his modesty from crswding to
the front.
A man has trouble and goes to n woman
for sympathy he is lucky If he doesn't ac-
quire more.
A few feminine tears or a shower of
rain doesn't amount to much, but how a
man does hate Hood!
Perhaps he is just that, Alonzo, but we
wouldn't advise you to call the manager
of a swimming school dive keeper.
We are not surprised that n man gets
nervous at his own wedding. Il is prob
ably the first time he ever saw all the
brides kin lined UP.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
UNDERwOOD's RECORD

From the Washington Post
If Oscar w. Underwood is now, or has
ever been. the tool of Wall street, he has
managed to conceal the fact so success
fully that neither his friends. his asso-
ciates in Congress, the President of the
United States, nor Wall street itself has
ever suspected the fact
Out of the haze of the battle on the
floor of the House, launched apparently
for no other purpose than to make politi-
cal capital against Mr.. Underwood in the
Alabama senatorial fight, one question
stands forth boldly. What is "a tool of
Wall street,? Is a tool of Wall street
one who writes a tariff bill that cuts to
the heart the duty on steel, which is sup
posed to be Wall streets pet investment :?
Is it one who helps to push through a
currency bill that arouses the ire OF the
Wall street bankers? Is it one who keeps
intact democratic majority which has
been cracking Wall street on the head for
the past two or three years?
With all the tools that Wall street is
supposed to have, little headway is made
in Washington. To have one of its tools
in complete command of the majority of
the House ought to put Wall street in
high good humor, but instead we find it
in the doldrums. Stocks have been sag
ging and investments have been tagging.
If Mr.. Underwood is the tool Of Wall
street, he is all edge and no handle.
There is entirely too much buncombe
in this attack on Mr.. Underwood. The
democratic party. almost from top to bot
tom, knows what it owes to his remarif-
able leadership. There is scarcely a man
in the House, either on the democratic or
the republican side who will not say that
his record is without a single blot so far
as honesty of purpose and moral integrity
are concerned.
Has it become virtue to throw legiti-
mate campaign contributions into the
teeth of the contributor? Mr.. Underwood
is his own man, as the members of Con-
gress and the people of the country can
well judge from his long record in the
open lie has conducted himself with
dignity under this unjust attack, and the
best answer to it is the ovation given him
at the close of his spirited and compre-
hensive reply He has served his state
and his country ably in the House, and
there is even wider field of usefulness
for him in the Senate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
The Lyceum Course

The Birmingham Lyceum lecture
course for thes season of 1884 be-
gins in the High School auditorium
Friday night, November 7, with
United States Senator Robert M. La
Toilette as the attraction. There will
be in all 10 lectures, the last being on
April 25.
The lyceum entertainments have
been educational and as rule delight
full. The course was started eight
years ago and it is safe to say that
no one who ever bought a season
ticket felt other than well repaid. The
price of a ticket is only So. 1t is un-
derstood that only few tickets for
1884 remain unsold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquire.
Mighty few people in the world live up
to, their press notices.
The Woman's World says: "A perfectly
stockinged leg has a hardness that does
not please the eye." In behalf of the
men folks we want to state right here
that some jealous female with pipe stem
props wrote that knock.
The greatest catastrophe since the ia
nous flood is about to overwhelm Johns
town. Billy Sunday is to spend week
in that town.
Lots of men who talk basso profundo
in a saloon are tenors when they are at
home.
A woman in a union suit can look as
handsome as the cuts in the ADVERTISE
ments. But man can't.
Cheer up. You may think you are get
ting the worst of it. but it might be
worse. A hairless dog is an ugly looking
brute. but he hasn't any fieas.
Consider the gas meter. 1t tolls not,
but gee how it can spin!
Any healthy boy can wear out six pairs
of shoes while he Is using one box of
shoe polish.
Some husbands want their wives to tell
them all they know. And some of them
are lucky that they don't know all that
their wives know
There is no chance for two takers to
be good friends. That is why most
women hate other womens
There Is an age limit for everything
else But man can always make a fool
of himself.
Every dog used to have his day. but
the liquor laws have barred the growler
on Sunday.
Men get big salaries for knowing some
things But it takes woman to tell
an artificial blonde from real one
Before marriage she will wash out tive
postage stamp handkerchiefs and iron
them bv pasting them on the mirror, and
she feels so overworked that mother has
To bring her supper to her bedside. After
ma friage she can do "a days washing
and ironing, get supper, clean up the
house. darn stockings and feel glad that
she isn't worked to death like some
women who have twice as many children
as she has.
a woman who can pretend she is sound
asleep when her husband wobbles home
at a. m. never has any trouble getting
q new set of furs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
THE BROoksIDE
BY Richard Monckton Mines.
I wandered by the brookSidc.

BY Richard Monckton Mines.
/ wandered by the brookside,
| wandered by the mill;
| could not hear the brook flow,
The noisy wheel was still;
There was no burr of grasshopper,
No chirp of any bird,
But the beating Of my own heart
Was all the sound | heard.
/ sat beneath the elm tree;
| watched the long, long shade.
And as it grew still longer
/ did not feel afraid;
For | listened for "a football,
/ listened for a word,
But the breathing of my own heart
Was all the sound | heard.
He came not-no, he came not
The night came on alone,
The little stars sat one by one,
Each on his golden throne:
The evening wind passed Ny my cheek
The leaves above wee stirred.
But the beating of my own heart
Was all the sound l heard.
Fast silent tears were flowing,
When something stood behind;
A hand was on my Shoulder,
knew it's touch was kind;
1t drew me nearer-nearer
We did not speak one word.
But the beating of our own hearts
Was all the sound we heard. :
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
.J.sner,s New Hotel

"Jasper's new hotel-The Crawford
is modern in every respect said Rob
ert ID. Curry of Birmingham.
"Few of the large cities of the south
have a hotel equal to the Crawford.
In cities of 5000 or under the traveller
should be satisfied with a plain hotel
that is kept clean, but Jasper has real
ly an elegant hostelry. The sanitary
arrangements are perfect. The hotel
is scrupuously clean and the table fare
would do credit to the best hotel in any
great city"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
Looking for the Banshee

A. Barton Hepburn of the Chase
National bank of New York was chair
man of the bankers committee which
reported resolutions declaring that the
President and Congress of the United
States comprise pack of socialists.
At a meeting of the national confer
ence on currency reform in New York
Tuesday, Mr.. Hepburn spoke of the
Glass-Owen bill as ."born in a caucus
and Graded in politics since its ineep-
ton"
Further along in his speech, Mr..
Hepburn said he was not especially
fearful of political control of the coun-
tlv's banking as a result of the pas
sage of the currency bill in its present
form, nor was he especially fearful Of
incompetent control. "But," he de-
clared, ''business men, bankers and
the public may be pardoned for hav-
ing some misgivings whether politics
may not have some part in its man
agement."
They will be pardoned, all right, but
the people would be glad to be in
formed by Mr.. Hepburn as to the rea-
sons for those misgivings. He HIM
self says they do not rise from fears
of political or incompetent control OF
the country's banking. Where is the
frightful boogerbear that keeps Mr..
Hepburn awake o nights?
The business men of the country,
about whom Mr.. Hepburn is so solicl-
tous, do not seem to participate in his
apprehensions. The following is an
Associated Press dispatch:
Detroit, Mich. October 1.-THE con-
stituent membership of the Chamber OF
Commerce of the United States OF
America, including local chambers OF
commerce, boards of trade. commercial
clubs and national trade organizations
in all parts of the country, has APP
proved by referendum vote the report
tee on the pending Owen-Glass cur
rency bill.
The board of directors of the cham
her, in session here, completed the can
yass of the ballots today and found the
sentiment of the business mems organ
ization strongly in favor of the report
of the committee, the vote being 30S
for and II against.
The report of the committee, which
was made the basis of the referendum,
stated.
ut regards the measure as piece of
constructive legislation and believes
that it embodies in a large degree, ele-
Sments necessary to provide the nation
with a safe currency and banking sys-
tenn
Seven recommendations for improve
ment of the measure were submitted
for separate vote. All were approved
by large majorities.
The recent meeting of bankers from
all over the United States which was
held in Boston dealt with the currency
question openly and candidly. The
delegates declared above board that
they did not believe the government
should have any hand in currency mat
ters, but that they should be left
solely with the bankers. 1t is prob
able that this is really the view of
Mr.. Hepburn, although he did not go
SO far as to say SO in his New York
address.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
uNDERwooD,s WELCOME
ON the Troy Messenger.

From the Troy messenger.
Mr.. Underwood is assured of 70, al
welcome when he seturnn to his nome
city of Birmingham. Il is but t:lst. Ee
has done hard servics, and Is one of
Americas most prominent citizens and
hard working Solons today. He has hon
cred Birmingham in his great wori. re-
Gently. Birmingham cannot extend to
kim greater honors than are due
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
FANCY.

A poet sang of lovely scenes
mat please dreamers eye:
of rural landscapes free from smoke
a blue AMI cloudless sky;
The brook that purled DER messy atones,
The murmnr of the trees
And many a nodding flower cup
Swayed by the passing breeze.
He roamed the meadows daisy-starred
And heard the feathered throng
That, light of heart, in woodland glades
Did warble all day long.
by Natures beauty stood enthraled
And breathed her sweet perfume.
All this he did, as poets may,
Shut in a hall bedroom.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

In Suffers case the expected has hap
pened. The evidence against the governor
OF New York was too strong to be offset
BY legal teehnicalities. Just before the
Impeachment proceedings were started the
New York World advised Governor Sui
ger to resign. It pointed out that by re-
signing he would prevent great scandal
on the state of New York: that in private
life he might live down the graft charges
against him. but that If he allowed him
self to be deposed he never could regain
his former standing. Suffers friends
doubtless wish now that the governor
had taken The Worlds advice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

A New York woman wants divorce
from her husband because he is not gay
enough Probably hasn't, seen him in
action" when she isn't along.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

'Facilis decensus,' says Il book re.
viewer in discussing the latest novel hv
the author of fo, ,aicr hest seller, =
which means that he has hit the tobog-
gan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
CORRECT

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
wallace expresses his confidence in thu
intelligence of the people of Alabama,
says a headline in the Birmingham Age
Herald. The Inference is that Wallace
aspires to elective Office.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Turkey seems to have grievance
against the Standard Oil company. I'VE
suegeat a card index sys .enl for keeping
tab on her troubles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

The fact that Woodrow Wilson has been
made honorary member of an antiquarian
society doesn't indicate that he is no;
right up to the minute
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Ex-senator Aldrich says the pending
currency, measure is ''unsound socialistic
and revolutionary Let it be hoped that
there is nothing else the matter with IT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

The wireless op orator of the vol5arno
having had his picture published in a
majority of the newspapers, the tragedy
iray now pe looked upon as concluded
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Why should the justices of the Mexican
they will have nothing TO do as long as
Huerta continues bis dictatorship, but it
seems unusual for man to separate him
self from his salary source merely be-
cause he doesn't think lie is earning the
money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
THE .sPINEYs,

Yesterday colonial outcasts. friends
"disowned' by their brethren, land pi-
rates, Hessans. Tory refugees, jewellers
from Joseph Bonapartes court at Bor-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Tee-legged, Tie-legged, Bow-legged
Georgeanna.
K Mss CASEY, aged Z, halted her
M mincing steps and turned to face
W her giggling tormentors.
Gee, youse kids is common she
said She slowly adjusted the stringy
white feather boa about her neck, looked
with hauteur upon her followers. and
added witheringly:
''Canalsi"
She raised her pink parasol with ex-
aggerated elegance and resumed her
walk. Not a word came from the per-
picked young women behind her
"I guess that'll hold them wimmmen
for while" she said to herself.
The marquise looked with scorn upon
the taunting mob of sans culottes.
..Canaille! l fear yet not said she.
Georgeanna crossed Sixth avenue at
Carmine street, and stroled toward
Washington square. She seated herself
stiffly upon a bench near the arch, and
lowered her parasol.
Every morning the lovely young mar
qulSe sat iof an iioui ~ nv 5Di'Ns SA
the Luxembourg.
How beautiful this morning are the
fragrant gardens," murmured Miss Casey.
addressing the arch. She looked carefully
to right and to left, thrust her hand
quickly into her right stocking just above
the shoelace that served as sarter, and
drew forth a knotted handkerchief.
.Five 10 30 g2 cents,n she counted.
II will hail a faker''
The fat policeman In the middle of the
street grinned at the funny little girl who
stood on the curb. and With mock gal
lantry bowed and offered his arm.
Permit me, madam said he, Ito guide
you through this maze of traffic,'
Georgeanna gravely laid finger tips on
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Yes you'll just nave to go to the State
Fair today. The children must be taken
by somebody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

To be coal miner in Wales seems 10
times more hazardous than heing a bird
man anywhere else.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Making red pepper out of sawdust
and red ink is going just 4 trihe too far
By the way, how is tabasco sauce made?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

a Cleveland man gave an exhibition of
the tango before a judge. His honor
thought it a pretty fair show.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Sambo needs no assistance from either
the government or Wall street in moving
the chicken crop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Mrs. Pankhurst? Sure. Walk right in
This country isn't afraid of anything that
ever Wore petticoats,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
HIRED FOR THE OCCASION.

Business seems lively at this booth.
What's the attraction
Milk is being served by a musical
comedy dairymaid"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

All of Mr.. Hobsons mud seems to have
back-fired.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

State Fair weather continued for while
longer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
ADR1FT WITH THE TINES

a FREQUENT ERROR.
Broke again."
Yes
Il thought you were on the road to
riches"
4 was, but tried to take short cut"
THE SAME THING.
Did you say Miss Flimmers was a
hirt?"
We'll. not in so many words. l said
Miss Flimmers was pretty and decidedly
girl
NATURAL INFERENCE.
Johnny, did the whale swallow Jonah?'
''Yes, ma am"
What makes you think so. Johnny?"
That's the only way the whale could
have carried him, ma'am."
JUST sPECULATING.
"This dancer says she believes in art
for arts sake
"She does, eh? l wonder how long
she would retain her enthusiasm If her
salary of $1,000 a week were cut in half"
TAKING NO CHANCES.
"Blobbs is a mean man.
"A mean man, you say?'
Eyes. Before handing the morning
paper to his wife he always tears out the.
page advertisement of Skinnim & Slash.'
REALISM.
TITS shocking the way the members OF
the chorus are hugging and kissing each
other Willie the principals are trying to
carry out the plot of the piece"
Tut tut. man. The scenes of this
operetta are laid in Paris. What you see
is merely local color .
PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
GEORGEANNA is SHOCKED

From Charles Truitts story in Every
body's Magazine, "Georgeanna Banana"
Georgeanna banana, to the lama go
fanna;
Tee-legged Tie-legged, Bow-legged
Georgeanna.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
TELEPHONE
BELL (priyate exchange connecting a'i
dcpartments), Main 1900

A d.grer of the mind; IA false creation,
Proceeding from The hent-oppresseu
brain. -hacpet"'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
A BITTER EXPERIENCE

a Bill lEh EAGERIENCl.
DO you believe in te1epathy, Mr.. Plum
ly?"
No, Miss Gadders. l have discovered
that no matter how many thought waves
q fellow sends young woman, unless
he happens to own an automobile they are
shattered on the cold shoulder of indif-
ference"
THEY QUOTE HIM so MUCH.
.'It was Mark Twain who Suggested a
monument to Adam"
''Yes"
ut seems to me that the newspaper
humorists ought to do something for the
Man from Mars
Up ALL NIGHT.
A wayWard youth is Abner Green,
Who burns up lots of gasoline
And never seems to strike his gait
Until the hours very late.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17
THE SAME THING.

Z was but tried to take short cut
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

K Mss CASEY, aged y, halted her
MI mincing steps and turned to face
her gigglng tormentors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

We'll, not in so many words. said
girl"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Entered at the Birmingham Aia,
postoffice as second class matter uhoei
~ ~ congress March }, 1879
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Did you say Miss Fiimmers was
firt?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

A. NATURAL INFERENCE.
Johnny, did the whale swallow Jonah?'
Yes, ma am
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

A FREQUENT ERROR.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

What makes you think so. johnny"
That's the only way the whale could
have carried him, ma'am.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-17

Il thought you were on the road to
riches"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1913-08-14
Toward the Pole.

Ice eight feet thick Oh the ocean and
snow falling even in summer-such is
the weather experienced in the polar
regions. When the air is dry and still
it is remarkable how low tempera-
lure can be borne with ease. One ex-
plorer tells us that with the thermome-
ter at 8 degrees it was too warm for
skating. The summer weather in this
region is. moreover. in some respects
pleasant and healthful. Within the
arctic zone there are wonderfully col
orded sunrises and sunsets to be seen.
They are both brilliant and impressive
But the nights-the nights are monot-
onous and repelling. A rigid world
buried in everlasting snow. silent save
for the cracking of the ice or the vail
of the wind. Travellers in these re.
gions experience many discomforts.
The keen air causes their skin to burn
and blister. while their lips swell and
crack. Thirst. again. has been much
complained Of. arising from the action
Of the low temperature on the warm
body.