davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
A Luxury.
Up-to-Date Jokes

II was an arduous task for the
teacher TO drum into her youthful
pupils the principles of arithmetic.
Now, listen" she said. In order
to subtract, things have to be in the
same denominations This IS what !
mean Now yay couldn't take three
apples from Your peaches, nor eight
marbles from twelve buttons II
must be three apples from four sp-
pies, and SO on, Do YOU understand?
one Nouugster IN the class raised
a ttmid hand.
Please, teacher" he inquired.
couldn't you take three quarts OF
milk from two cows?'
The young couple on the settee had
been engaged only a week. He had
kissed her fully forty times that eve
ming, When he stopped she looked at
him reproachfully, and the tears came
into her eyes as she said
Dearest YOU have ceased 10 love
me"
NO, ! haven't" he replied, but l
must breathe"
Papa" said Willie why did YOU
buy golf coat"
TO play golf in. my son"
Did YOU need ito
"Df course I Gio,"
Then | want a top coat TO play
tops iu I've seen 'em advertised"
A horse owner was trying 20 sell
a wind broken horse. and vas tro %
ting him around for inspection. TIE
owner stroked the horses bacl, and
remarked 20 The prospective buyer.
Hasn't he a lovely coat"
But the other noticed that thu horse
was painting, and answered.
"Ah, / like his coat an right. but !
don't like his pants
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

''He pretended TO take an interest in
me, and tried TO lead me to talk about
YOU"
THE devil he did
"Oh, I know their ways They can't
do anything to me as long as I show
up regularly and keep clean slate
But what about me-"
q said you had been a good friend
there was no use denying that l was
here pretty often-and that We both
thought of emigrating"
Good. We will"
Not me, have score to set
tie"
Patience, my worthy friend, Your
score shall be settled in full. l can
not prevent it, even II would. DO you
think / have been idle, or that l spend
Lsngdon's money on a wild goose chase
Not me- Langdon has taken my ad-
vice at last He has met his charmer
with whom lie IS so infatuated She al
most recognized him, but he pretended
such complete ignorance OF her. ard
even Of London, that her suspicious
were quoted
What good is that to u.s."
Little, hut It gave him the oppor-
tunity TO try and ingratiate himself.
He failed most completely and why"
How do l know? He is an ass,
anyway"
Exactly. More than that. the young
lady is in love with Philip Arson.
I'm not"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

constructed in such a form as TO
rise and slide over the surface Of
the water when driven al nigh speed,
ne has attained a speed of about
fifty miles per hour Other expert
mentors have succeeded almost as
we'll as the Count de Lambert. aud
several forms of gliding boats, driven
by aerial propellers, now exist II is
to be expected that before long this
method Will be used In driving YES
sells OF considerable size. capable Of
carrying many passengers and no
small amount Of freight In shallow
waters, where ordinary vessels can
not float these gliding boats MIDST
possess the utmost utility Whether
1t Will ever be possible 70 drive q
Transatlantic vessel by aerial screws
is a question for the future.
fact which may appear very sur
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

ps':si=g to the uninitiated4is this: An
aerial propeller Is nearly twice az
efficient in driving power as water
propeller. This resUlta from the far
greater elasticity OF the air as com
pared with water. If two currents
one of water and the other of air
moving with the same velocity
strike a plane which is immersed in
one case in the water and in the
other case in the air. the lmpulsion
produced by the air viii be double
that produced by the water.
The gliding boat is based on the
principle Of EMERSON" a term that
IS applied to describe the tendency
OF the hulls of all vessels to rise out
OF the water as they are driven
ahead. The true gliding boat has
fat, shallow hull divided length
wise by vertical ridges which might
he likened to the runners Of sled
When driven at q speed of 40 or 90
miles an hour 1t rises so high that
only its runners" touch the water
and thus It slides on the surface llks
a sled on smooth ice
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
Really Wanted Him.

An American merchant discovered
that a man had been falsely repro
senting himself as collector for tn,
firm, and taking more money thar
any two of the firms agents.
And So" said the merchant 20 the
police, Il want him colared as quickly
as poss bic"
All right III have him in jail IL
less than a week. replied the dete,
tive.
"Great Scot man, ! don't wan, him
put in Jail: | want TO engage him,
said the merchant.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
Copyright, 1904. by Edward ]. cIod.)
TO-DAY's INSTALLMENT.

Arson was the bane OF his life. His
stepCather was Anson's uncle, and the
old idiot recently found out certain
facts concerning the life led by his step
son that caused family rupture. His
mother endeavored to patch up maJters
with Ill success, and the baronet was
intent on finding his sisters son and
atoninE to him for years of neglect by
making him his heir.
Lady Louisa concealed nothing OF this
from her scapegrace son. She hoped
to brighten him by the threatened loss
Of supplies But neither fright nor ha-
tired could bring him to leave London
and settle down to a quiet life in Dew
onshire. when, perhaps. the elderly nat
uralist's fit OF Indignation might grad
ually wear itself out
At this crisis came mis- discovery Of
Evelyn Atherley and a mad desire 10
win her affections. He even dreamed Of
persuading her to marry him, and by
this means succeed in rehabiltating
himself with Sir Philip Morland.
The girl was well born. Mrs. Ather-
ley was Lord Vanstones half-sister,
and, although his lordship had ruined
himself and his relations by his ex-
travagance, the match was in every
other respect suitable.
He was not content with the slow
formula of seeking an acquaintance in
the ordinary way. Accustomed to speed
Ter conquests. he confided his wishes to
Grenier, and resented the lsrter's con-
domination OF his suggestion of mock
accident, in which Langdon should fig
ure as the gentlemanly rescuer. as a
ready means of winning the girls CRATE
ful regard.
The result was worse than failure.
He was wild with himself, wild with
Grenier, and reached a higher pitch OF
fury when Mason surliIy refused to say
what grievance he harbored against An
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
A Middle.

"a nice muddle I've made of every
Thing" cried the disappointed youth,
and a precious lot of friends I've dis
covered | tell you everything, place
myself unreservedly in your power, and
you not only let me drift into stupid
blunder, but decline to share your con-
fidence with me"
He arose to go. but Grenier firmly
pushed him back into a chair
Don't be bigger fool than you are,
jimmie, and leave those who win help
you l told you the cab adventure was
a mistake. II might go wrong in TWEEN
~ ways and right only in one. And
Won mus admit that ! never heard of
Arson from YOU until tonight"
Il may be to blame" was the sulky
admission, but who is your friend
Hunter, and why does he not be as out
spoken as -"
There are reasons Hunter was
cleaned out in Africa Oh account of An
SONS rnanipulation of diamond mine.
| He wants to get even with him. That
should be enough for YOU"
Mason smiled sourly at his leader &
ready exclamation. and I.angdon saw
only the venom in the mans face.
"He ought to have said so" he NUT
| tered. II am in no mood to be denied
the confidence of those who act with me
in the matter. In any case what can
we do?"
Grenier procured a decanter of brandy
and passed his cigarette case.
| I'VE can accomplish nothing without
money"
| Money! What avail is money against
| millionaire"
None. directly You would be
swamped instantly. But we must know
more about Arson. He has servants.
They can be made to talk. He has sus-
ceptible cooks and housemaids in Lane
| Park, and whatever place he owns in
the country. l am great with cooks
and housemaids. There is a mystery, an
unfathomable mystery, about hfs supply
, of diamonds. 1t must be proned--"
"No mystery at all" snarled JoclSy
! Mason He found meteor in slum
called Johnson's News 1t was cram fun
| " ,,',,. ,,,a,,,','
! - -, -, .,.,,,.u
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
Tabloid F ables
rHY. Mother Dear. aid that un-

w THY, Mother Dear, did that un-
M happily married woman sud
denly put such light trip IN
bier walk ana such a smile OF JOY on
She caught sight, Little One, Of the
critical gaze of the Woman Who
Didn't Get Him.
Why does the girl come rushing
home from her visits out or town.
she used to stay much longer
That was before she had lover,
Inquisitive one, Now that she is en-
gagged she rushes home to keep an
eye on her property
Why do they say Crumbs OF com
fort" Mother Dear?
Because comfort comes that way,
MY Child. When 1t is trouble, u
comes in loaves.
Why, Mother Mine, do you look 80
obviously al the hem
When the hen, My Child, wakes up
on a cold winter night she doesn
have to get up TO see II her little Off
spring have kicked the covers off
them. A mother does
What, pray tell me, Mother Des",
is the deepest thing I'm the world'
Alas. Child there Is nothing quite
SO deep as the silence of an unsym-
pathetic listener
Why are Mr. links women folks
SO dissatisfied with him, Mother II,
seems nice sort of "a man,
They went to great trouble, my
dear. making a den for him out a
ali the old furniture In the house and
ne refuses TO stay Ia u when he
growis
FRANCIS l.. GAPSTDE.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
A Web

II think J had better 20. he said
suddenly Your brandy is too strong
for my head. Grenier. can and see me
in the morning"
The astute rogue whom he addressed
raised no objection to his departure
He instantly embraced LSngdons atti.
tude in his wider horizon.
Yes" he agreed let us sleep on IL
We Will all be better able 10 discuss
matters more clearly tomorrow.
Theuceforth the flat in SALISBURY
avenue became a spiders web into which
the flies that buzzed around Philips
life were drawn one by one, squeezed
dry of their store OF information, snc
east forth again unconscious OF the
plot being woven against their master
Within a month. Grenier knew An
sons habits. his comings and goings
his bankers. his brokers, many OF his
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

TOR the past six months Daysey
II Mayme Appleton has packed her
brow with ice every afternoon
and retired to her study. alias bed
room. and there directed the strength
OF her massive brain TO the develop
ment OF a moving picture play.
1T Is no longer fashionable" she
explained. ITO write books Were 1t
the style I would write a novel that
would move the world, but it IS the
latest craze 70 write plots for NOV
ing pictures, and feel that I. too,
must yield to this desire to get IN
touch with the masses"
II took four months to develop the
plot, a brief period considering the
kind OF hero to which her brain gave
birth.
BY name Claude, tail. manly, golden
hair that tossed back from his fore
head like that on the forehead of a
god, piercing blue eyes. a nose tina.
told OF generations far back thaa had
been born to command. a strong. but
tender mouth, good white teeth and
n chin that denoted firmneSs and even
limited at cruelty
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
FIFTY MILES AN HOUR.

The experiments OF. the count d,
Lambert are especially Instructive
and promising. Applying an aerial
propeller, similar In form to tina,
used with an aeroplane 10 a gliding
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

AOHs u miles from the spot WNere IL
was on the preceding New Years Day.
MANS MIND.
In the human system the advancing
sun, whose forward motion prevents
the ceaseless Greetings from settling
down in a fat ring, is represented
by the aspiring mind OF man, which
renders him forever discomfort with
his past and his present achieve
ments and always striving to bring
his revolving moods, at each turn. to
a higher level
l have been led to this semi-phtl-
Osophical meditation by considering a
very interesting series of facts that
has been called to my attention con-
corning the recent application OF
aerial prapellers to the driving OF
boats. This Us clearly a return to
the ancient principle OF sails, only
now the sail takes a new form. and,
instead of being an inert surface re-
ceiVing the force OF the wind and
transmitting IL TO the hull OF the
boat, It becomes an active machine
which creates. 80 to speak, a wind
for itself and pushing against the
air with its rapidly revolving blades,
drives the boat forward. Here, then.
is an instance of the most interest
ang kind. in which the spirit of prog
ress has brought man around to a
new phase of an old mechanical
principle. He has come back to the
cir as a source OF motive power in
navigation, but he has reached 1t at
an advanced point which affords him
a vast advantage in the application
Of the principle
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
ON A scoW.
MANS MIND.

ions OF miles from the spot where II
was on the preceding New Years Day
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

To Be Continued Tomorrow,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04
hy0Is I,ssItatIons-rake Mo Subsfitr..e

More healthful than tea or coffee.
Agrees with the weakest digestion.
Keep It on your sdeboard at home.
A quick lunch prepared in a minute.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-11-04

n1ppIIy HIdITIVU WUIIINII SUI
denly put such a light trip IN
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03
DIR. Wallace.

DR.. D. D. Wallace, Professor of His
tory and Economies of Wofford col
lege, will deliver the annual CON-
mencement address before the gradu-
ates of the Clinton public schools on
Tuesday morning, Srd, at 10 o'clock,
"much to the delight of superinten-
dent Hail." says the Clinton Gazette,
which paper adds: "This being his first
visit here, it is hoped that DR. Wallace
will be greeted with a large audience.
The Herald and News reporter con-
fesses to weakness for wanting to
grasp anything good he sees regarding
young DR.. Wallace, aS the latter was q
little office boy in a print shop once
when this reporter was connected with
the paper in said ONCE. The audience
at Clinton will hear something fine
and the people will be bound to have
the speaker with them again after
once having heard him. DR.. Wallace
is the coming man in South Carolina.
His great modesty is holding him back.
He is known at his true worth By his
more intimate friends, but he hasn't
shown himself to the outside world
yet. The Wofford boys under him
adore him and the writer has heard
some of them in their enthusiasm de-
clare him to be ~the smartest man in
South Carolina.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03
HEARS JOINT DEBATE.
Interesting Contest is Held Between
WaTerly and Athenean Societies
of High School

The joint debate Of the Waverly and
Athenean societies of the high school
took place in the beautiful auditorium
Thursday night in the presence Of an
audience that filed every seat. The
question was "votes for women" The
debaters were Misses Mary Jones and
Margaret Renwick of the Waverly So
ciety, for the Affirmative, and Abra
ham Vigodsky and Robert Pool of the
Athenean, for the negative. The de-
bate was very good indeed and the
audience INDUCED in frequent ap-
plause as one side or the other made
particularly good point. The ex-
tempore "rebuttal" that followed the
set debate was bright and sparkling.
The judges, three men and two wo-
men, rendered their decision in favor
of the affirmative.
But the debate was not all. There
was excellent music and capital es-
says by few members of the socie-
ties. The choruses by the Waverly
Smiling Morn Awakes," and Spring
song," were beautifully rendered, as
i were the following selections: "To a
Water Lily" and ITO a Water Fowl"
by Miss Margaret Davis; Love
Dreams" by Miss Marion Earhardt;
I"Shoogy-Shoo,' duet by Misses Sara
Fant and Sara Williamson; piano
and violin, valse, by Misses Mary
fKibler and Margaret Davis. Miss Ruth
Digby recited effectively, Taking an
Elevator" and Henry Rikard declaim-
ed with animation Trick versus
Trick" Essays. were read as follows:
Does the High School Meet the Needs
of the Community by Miss Faye
Rikard; "Old Times and New" by Miss
Teresa Maybin; Things Heard in
the High School," by Miss Maude Ept-
ing.
Miss Amy Werts presided over the
exercises of the evening.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03

Letter to Wateree Messenger: On
last Wednesday rather unusual dis
coyery was made in our home. MY
wife went out to look after turkey
nest where a turkey was sitting in a
pen. She noticed two very large snakes
lying near the turkey, and one partly
under her. She called someone to
kill them, when one of the hands on
the place responded. When ne struck
the snakes he found they were both
dead. Judging from the swollen head
of the turkey she must have been
badly bitten, and her bloody beak in
dicated a fight. The reptiles were
rattle snake pilots and measured three
feet respectively. Their deaths remain
mystery, while the turkey still lives.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03
Approved:
General Assistant.

the end of the contest.
Besides the prizes and trophies Of
fered by accessory concerns, the fol-
lowing prizes were given by the speed
way management to the winners
which with their times, follow in or
der.
Peugeot, driven by Goux: time
IB:31:33.45; prize, $4,000.
Mercer, driven by Wishart: time
6:45:. .O6; prize $4,000.
Stutz, driven by Merz: time
F6:5O:35.75; prize $4,000.
Sunbeam, driven by Guyot: time
7:O5:OS:1O; prize $1,000.
Mercedes-Knight, driven by Pilette;
time, 7:O9:25:55: prize $4,000.
Gray Fox, driven by Wilcox: time
7:23:3S;9O; prize, $4,000.
Mercedes, driven by milford: time
7:27:17S5; prize s1,8OO.
Case, driven by Disbrow; time
7:3O:5O:95; prize, $1,000.
Tulsa, driven by Clark; time
7:49:21; prize, $1,000.
Mason, driven by Haupt; time
1882; prize, $1,4OO.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03
'Tis So Everywhere.
0oo Advocate Rennettsyille.

Pee Dee Advocate, Bennettsville.
The town authorities have given in
structions to the police force to en-
force the automobile laws in the
city, and Chief of Police Kelley says
he is going to arrest those who vio-
late the ordinance.
There are now so many automo-
biles on the streets that it has be-
eeme more dangerous than ever for
them to run fast in town. Several
serious accidents have been narrow
" averted recently.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03
s CENTS AND YINDICATION.
Editor Retracts Charge That ROOse.
Yelt Got Drunk.-0Wner of 'IrOn
Ore" Ends $4,000 Suit.

Marquette, Mich, May 31.-Col. The
odore Roosevelt today won his libel
I suit against George A. Newett, who
charged the Colonel with drunkenness,
and having waived damages after the
defendant had uttered retraction, the
Jury awarded the nominal damages of
! 6 cents, provided in such cases by the
laws of Michigan. Each party to the
suit will have to pay his own expenses.
Judge Flanagan instructed the jury
to bring in a verdict for the plaintiff,
which they did without leaving their
seats. The colonel left for Chicago
and the East at $50 o'clock this even
ing, less than two hours after the con-
clusior of the case.
When the afternoon session began
the air was electrical with expectancy.
Rumors were flying that the suit
would be terminated.
Newett Takes Stand.
''The plaintiff rests" remarked the
attorney, James H. Pound, in a. mat
ter of fact manner. William P. Bel
den, of Ishpeming, who, with Horace
Andrews, of Cleveland, was Mr..
Newett's attorney, said said:
"The defence will call Mr.. Newett,"
A ruddy checked nina, whosec olor did
not disguise the fact that he is suffer-
ing from a serious illness, took the
chair. When the defendant began
reading Col. Roosevelt moved to the
edge of his chair, and betrayed an ex-
citement which his rigid jaws could
not hide. Mr.. Newett was well along
in his reading before the colonel,
whose position seemed like that of
man about to leap forward, lost the
tense look On his face.
The Plaintiff Smiles.
'Tt is fair to the plaintiff to state
that l have been unable to find in any
section of the country any individual
witness who is willing to state that ne
{has personally seen Mr.. Roosevelt
drink to excess
At this the plaintiff smiled, and re-
laxed. The colonel broke into a grin
again when Mr.. Newett said, with ref
erence to the mass of testimony ad-
duced by the plaintiff, 81 am forced to
the conclusion that I was mistaken"
Leaving the stand, Mr.. Newett look
ed in the direction of Col. Roosevelt,
but the latter was whispering to his
counsel. Attorney Pound then said:
with the courts permission the plain
tiff would like to make a brief an
nouncement.
J The Colonel Speaks.
The Judge nodded and Mr.. Roose-
yelt arose. oBwing to the court the
colonel said he would waive the mat
ter of damages save from the nomi-
nal amount provided by law. Speak
lig of his purpose of instituting suit
he said:
'I wished once for all during my
Lifetime to deal with those slanders
SO that never again will it be possible
for any man in good faith to repeat
them"
Here recess was taken. Judge Flan-
nigan read his charge to the jury I'M
mediately after recess. Speaking OF
Col. Roosevelt as the plaintiff, Judge
Flannigan said: Certainly ne has
convinced the court, not only that ne
never was drunk but that he is now
and always has been temperate and
abstemious man."
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1913-06-03

more partisanship There are still
those who will not believe the state
ment even now; but as to that we
have no concern. Here is the truth
and with its publication our response
bility ceases"