davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
Finely Sarcastic.

Some time ago a lady went into
the library of her home, where a
servant girl was busting an orna-
mental bookcase. For awhile she
watched the maid and then crossed
the room to examine the work.
81 want to tell you, jane" said
the mistress, "that we are going to
have company. Mr.. and Mrs. Smith
are going to call and stay for din
ner."
eyes, ma'am,'' quietly responded
the servant girl, continuing her
work.
"And since Mr.. Smith is a trifle
over six feet tall, Jane" resumed
the mistress, 81 think you had bet
ter dust the ornaments on the top
shell" -Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
His Cast Off Suit.

A bachelor who lives in a hotel
decided to clean out his wardrobe
the result being that the maid on
the floor got among other things q
suit of clothes which, she was sure
her brother would be glad to wear
A week later the bachelor asked the
maid if her brother could wear the
suit.
ooh, was just going to speak to
you about that" said the maid. at
had to be fixed over, and it cost me
$3.50, which think you should pay
me-"
"No," said the bachelor in telling
the hotel manager, 81 did not give
her the $3.50, and hereafter | shall
sell my discarded clothes to the ole
clo' man."-New York Sun.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
Replied to the Thunder In Kind.

A jolly group of travelling men
had just got comfortably seated in
the hotel lobby when another knight
Of the grip arrived.
"Mighty glad to see you fellows, "
he exclaimed enthusiastically, shak-
ing hands all around.
"Sorry we can't say as much for
you," was handed him by one Of
she group.
ooh, you could, all right, il you'd
lie as do" replied the newcomer,
Kansas City Times. (.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
A Welcome Addition.

The Youth-Sir, i came to ask
your consent to my marriage with
your daughter.
The Old Man-Is your income
sufficient to support a wife?
The Youth-It is. And in ad-
dition to that, it is sufficient to en-
able me to stand an occasional
touch from my wife's father.
The Old Man-Say no more,
young man. She's yours. Bless you,
my son.-Kansas City Times.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
A Iaotful Answer.

Like to join us in game Of
bridge3' asked the polite gentle
man in the Pullman to the gentle
man across the aisle.
mo, thank you," replied the 9TH
sr. "lt's very good of you to ask
ne, but ! never play with strangers.
You know you never can tell wheth-
n a chaps bunco steerer or not"
-llarper's Weekly.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
Roofing for Sale.

See Henry Judy, who will save
you money on all kinds of metal
roofing and give you the very best
material. 42-tf
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

Frazer q Perry are making a
specially of Tornado and Hail In
surance-See them for, Insurance
of all kinds. Alt
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

Only as you love do you truly
live and no man ever vet kept
good health and a hateful spirit
very long together.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

ooe of the men yelled, Uncle
| Bill"
The old mans face wrinkled in.
to smile as he held up his hand
and said, "hold on, hold on,
know what You want to ask. You
see this letter. It's got Just the
answers you want, I'll bet bat. y
He, pulled the letter from its
envelope. adjusting his silver
trimmed specialized and continued.
You recollect that about a week
or ten days ago all of us here at
the store was talking about State
Aid for road building. Some of
you fellows asked a whole lot of
questions. One of them was,
what some of the roads in this
State cost the government"
Have you got the figuresl"
Yep, l just went home and
worte up to Frankfort and got 'em
straight. Say, there're more Of
'em and they're bigger than /
thought they was. Pm goin'to
read 'em out if you want 'em9"
Sure we dO"-and the group
drew closer about Uncle Bill as he
seated himself cautiously on nail
keg.
well find that way back in
1921 Kentucky gave 81 900 to i'm
prove the grade over Muldrow's
Hill. That was part of the Lex
ington to Nashville road. u But
later when the people began to
build sure enough good macadam
roads, the State put the money up
in big chunks. When they built
the road from Lexington to Frank
fort, she gave $78,122. That was
81 miles of road. Then there are
the other roads,
Frankfort to Louisville, 5 %
miles, $50, 900.
Covington to Lexington, 8 5
miles, 5000, 900.
Louisville, Frankfort to Crab
Orchard 1913 miles $3.50, 900.
Louisville, Bardstown to Ten
nessee line 144 miles, 100000.
Louisville, Bowling Green to
Tennessee line 1544 mi. SAP, 900.
How much was that all to-
gether, Uncle Bill9"
wait, ! just got this letter and
Ill have to do some fgurin'," and
he got stub of lead pencil from
mis- vest pocket. After quite a.
time he announced with pride and
satisfaction, IF you add in the
1913, 200 for the Maysville road,
that makes $1,758.322 that was
given in State Aid way back
Wonder before land was worth
much and before there was any
factories or big business to tax"
why do you reckon they done
1t, uncle Bill"
Because they had more every
day common horse sense than we
got, l reckon. They were sharp
enough to see that it wasn't any
tax, but an investment to boost
the price of their land"
Il reckon that's so, Uncle Bill"
Sure, it's so. The poorer
your land the more you need a
road to make it sell. If it's first
class land andioff the road, you're
up against it. Most of our land
we'll it's poor enough to need a
road to make it sell for a good
stiff price,"
"Of course, everybody knows
that good roads are needed and
needed bad"
well then, if all of US know
we ought to have good roads, and
we know they'd improve the price
of land, all we got to do is to find
out the cheapest way, amt it9"
Yep"
"Well then, if anybody's got
better and easier way than State
Aid, just trot it out and Pm for it
all right"
Roofing for Sale.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

Trouble has many DISCUSSES. but
we never fail to recognize the
genuine article.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

1t must be nice to be prominent
enough to loaf in bank.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06

Buy your paris green from the
Variety Store.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
Better Than Spanking.

Spanking will not sure children of wet
ting the bed, because it is not habit but
a dangerous disease. The {. H. Rowan
Drug Co., Dept. 2449 Chicago, Ill, have
discovered strictly harmless remedy
for this distressing disease and to make
known its merits they will send soc
package securely wrapped and prepaid
Absolutely Free to any reader of The
Mt. Sterling Advocate. This remedy
also cures frequent desire to urinate and
inability to control urine during the
night or day in old or young.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1913-08-06
The C. II. Rowan Drug Co.

is an Old Reliable House. Write to them
today for the free medicine. Cure the
afflicted members of your family, then
tell your neighbors and friends about
this remedy. 3I-Iyr
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
DAVIS FOR DISTRICT ATTORNEY

The Commercial desires to add its
endorsement to the candidacy of f:
". Davis of Ocala for United States
district attorney for the southern dis
trict Of Florida.
He has been state attorney for this,
the fifth, judicial circuit for a number
of years. and has been considered one
of the best in the state Not only at
home but throughout the state, he is
very highly thought of by the bar. He
is able. fearless and conscientious in
the discharge of every duty Besides
his duties as states attorney, he has
a large civil practice, which is con
Quoted by him and his partner at
OCala.
Mr.. Davis is qualified in all respects
to hold the position of United States
district attorney, and the people in
the central part of the state, and all
who know him, are confident that if
he is appointed he will make an envi-
able recOrd.-Leesburg Commercial
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
cHGLLS AND FEVER CONVENTION
AT ST. LOUIS

The first "chills and fever" congress
ever held has been in session at St.
Louis for several days.
This malaria" convention is des-
tined to prepare plans to give the
deata Low to the mosquito.
Dr. y. c. r.tans, recently health
commissioner OF Chicago, suggested
this congress, and Immediately there
appeared legion Of those who think
that if there are to be tuberculosis
congresses and such the scourge of
whole regions from pioneer days
ought to get its infamy into the spot
ligat once at least.
The proposition of draining the
swamp and overlooked lands of the
country, as the democrats. republi
cans and progressives in their plat
forms declared should be done, arous-
ed Dr. Evans, who cherished from
boyhood experiences a grudge against
"chills and afeyer"
In discussing it with Edmund r.
Perkins, chairman of the executive
committee Of the national drainage
congress, he said no drainage CON
gress would be complete that did not
Systematically and effectually hold up
10 public scorn the malaria of the I'M
drained districts, and the malarias
first assistant, the mosquito
As a result, the mosquito is there
and will have to meet face to face its
arch-enemy, Dr. l.. o. Howard, chief
of the bureau of entomology of the
United States department Of agricul-
ture. 1t was Dr. Howard who studied
the mosquito and its ways as the pest
never was studied before.
In the famous bulletin 443, Rem
edies and Preyentives Against Mos
quitoes" issued two years ago, DR..
Howard and his assistants were cred
tied with giving the mosquito knock
out blow 1t was in that bulletin that
drainage was given the Importance
as health measure that it already
had attained as a means to increase
the countrys soil wealth by a fabu-
lOuS sum-
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
JOB PRINTING

Nearly all the newspapers in Flor
ida and in distant states that have
spoken at all. speak in the most fiat
tering terms of Governor TrammelTs
message. 1t is an admirable state
document. and it has put politicians
TO thinking that when Governor Tram
nell leaves the executive office his po-
litical ambition may not be entirely
satisfied
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Good roads increase land values and
bad roads hold land values down
Muddy roads repel home-seekers and
investors and obstruct progress In az.
cry way Kentucky has large areas
OF good farming land that will never
De worth much to the owners until the
incubus of bad roads is removed.
Farms that are isolated for several
months in the year by bad highways
can have but little value in the eyes
OF the really progressive farmer
Courier-Journal.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Although women no longer keep
silence in the churches" the path of
the woman preacher is not yet like
downy feathers. DR.. Frank Crane
says that many churches still refuse
to receive her. but each year opens
new pulpits to her services. There
are at least fifty schools and colleges
in the United States from which wo-
men are able to secure theological de-
grees. Last year 457 women were en-
gagged in theological studies. and fifty
one received degrees for the compile
ton of their courses.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
PAY OF COUNTY COMMISSIONERS

bill will be introduced in the
senate by Mr. L'Engle and in the
house by Mr.. Tomlin, relating to the
compensation of county commission
ers, providing that county commits
sioners shall be paid S. a day for each
days service, and 10 cents a mile for
each mile actually travelled in going
to and from the court house, prOvid-
ed that the per diem shall not exceed
$500 in counties of $4,000 population
or over, or $1,000 in counties of 10000
or over, and less than $4,000 popula-
ton, or $500 in counties of 10000 pop
ulatiOn or over and less than 10000,
or 800 in counties of 10000 popula-
ton or over and less than 10000, or
5000 in counties of less than 10000
population; provided further that
the per diem herein provided shall APP
ply to services rendered for inspection
of public roads or bridges, or any 9th
or services authorized or approved by
the board Of commissioners. The last
census governing the provisions OF
the act.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

The Tallahassee correspondent OF
the Jacksonville Metropolis says that
Herbert J. Drane has seen service in
both houses during the past eight
sessions. and Senator Davis, in nomi-
mating him in the caucus, referred to
the record of the senator from Lake
land, and stated that it had always
been one OF his highest ambitions
during that time to be president OF
the upper branch of the state legis-
lature.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

When the court house is completed.
Bushnell will present splendid an.
pearance looking down East Broad
street from the railroad At one end
of the street the magnificent cour,
mousse and at the other end Hotel Al
siana' Beville brick block on the
right and. we think. in the near IN.
ture another blick block on that
street Now, let's grade that street.
ana have sidewalks suitable TO the do.
mands OF the times.s-B Bushnell
Times.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
PROB BtTlON ~ THE LEGlsLA
TURE

Opponents az statewide prohibition
test assured according to gen
port aat the prohibitionists
nat nm4urate another fight at
. present legislative session. ru-
mor rs .ls contrary notwithstanding.
btiou leaders say they will
center th,r work entirely upon the
hIH. vetoed hy Governor Gilchrist at
roc la-t session including the cele-
DRAFTED Sloan screen bnl The meas
ue w.u bring on lively tilt and it is
tut IL AN probably that Governor
Trmmsu NIll veto it or any other
legislation 81 like character that may
be enacted Frank t. Huffaker
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
CONVICTED UNDER THE WHITE
SLAVE ACT

Waiter Pounds and Clarence
Rhodes 1850 wen known and prosper
81. farmers OF Burke county Ga.
aa4e been found guilty of violating
A. Federal white slave act by jury
Isl ne United states court. Pounds
aa- sentenced by Judge Emory
-p.er 10 serve tWo years in the fed
rral prison in Atlanta and pay a fine
~ ono dollar Rhodes was sentenced
ID serve three months in hte Richmond
county jain at Augusta and pay fine
ot $500.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
DEATH AT THE HOSPITAL

4 gentleman by the name of Scar
borough died a the hospital Sunday
after short illness He was living
Al burbank and was moved TO Ocala
a few days before his death. The
bodv of the deceased was prepared
for burial by Messrs. McIver & Mac
Kay. and shipped to his former home
in 81 Louis for burial. He had nc
relatives here.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
voGT AGAIN IN TROUBLE

Bond in the sum of $500 was filed
Saturday with Z S, Commissioner II.
L. Crane by Albertus Vogt, the well
known phosphate operator and land
owner Of Lakeland who was indicted
by the grand jury at the term Of I. s.
court here last February on charge
OF having impersonated an agent of
the L. S. land office.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Boys who are members of the boys
corn clubs will be permitted to join
the boys golden corn club" if they
shall have gathered one hundred bush
els and upwards off single acre. We
fear the boys golden corn club" will
not have a very large Florida mem
bership unless our Florida boys get
to doing about"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18
HELP WANTED

3 x
+ The New Grocery wants the
e names of 500 people who are will
ing to work, such as cooks, laun-
dry women, mattresses. chamber
+ maids. nurses. farm and public
work hands Also wants names of
500 people or firms who furnish
employment or want help. All APP
ply at "a West Broadway.
j. A. CHANDLER, Prop.
=
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Representative Light has introduc-
ed a resolution that the visiting com
mittees be appointed for the next thir
ty days. An amendment to make it
fifteen days was adopted, but when
the action REQUIRED on the previous
question the resolution was lost.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

airs and wlfh the world Will grad
t make - morp generous with al
si'eriai'Y uith che lord family, O.
~1ieh cur text refers
ahn Church ~ This Gospel Age Is ir
- sfhool ~ Christ o. o. prepared for
.'stine service in association with IN,
.isemer in ilf Messlanic Reign
- iessuns in this school are the
49, ~ the spirit To whatever ex
- Re attain these graces. 60 that ex
-. -. ~e shall be prepared for q place
= Ne klagdom.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

The editor of this paper has been
appointed delegate from the state of
Florida to the National Good Roads
Federation, which meets in Birming-
ham, Ala, April 24-25.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Two servants houses were burned
in Dunnellon early Friday morning,
which came near causing a serious
confiagration, and only the prompt ac-
ton of the fire department prevented
III
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

The local bar of Tampa gave a ban
quet to Judge Call When Judge Call
visits Ocala We know that he will be
similarly or in some other way highly
honored. 1t is the first time in the
history of the state that Florida has
had a native federal Judge.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

The condition OF the pope has again
become extremely grave, and the ut
most fears are entertained at the vat
lean as to his recovery.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

There is flood of bills in congress
on the reform of the currency. Some
new measures will be adopted.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1913-04-18

Mr. Walter Ray represented Mar
tel in Ocala Friday.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-05-14
North Atlantic Ice.

Had the steamer which grazed an ice
berg on her way to Montreal observed
the warnings issued by the photographic
Office and followed the route laid down
for steamers at this time of year when
the north Atlantic is infested with bergs
drifting southwark, she would have been
i'll no trouble whatever. Ever since the
Titanic disaster-in fact. long before that
catastrophe-the commanders of ships
plying between Europe and America have
been given the fullest possible information
lelative to the presence of ice and guided
Ia the safest courses. The commander of
this vessel. however. chose to take a
Caance in order to save a few hours-and
vas within close range of destruction.
collision with one of the hergs by which
he was for a time surrounded no one
could possibly have been blamed save
himself IL is important for the world TO
understand that the photographic office
in this country at least has been watch
ing the ice movement diligently and seek
compel ship captains to follow the recon-
mended routes. but vessel owners at least
can take warning from this case and eff
fectively discipline those who risk their
ships by disregarding the officially pre-
scribed steamer lanes.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-05-14
Humoring Grandma.

Be kind to dear Grandma and don't let
her know
How manners have changed since the
long, long ago.
Just let her imagine she's frivoling some
With a peppermint drop or a package of
gum
Let her blush as she may when she
strives to conceal
The fact that she once saw play called
Camille"
And be filled with dismay should she
chance to disclose,
AS she steps to her carriage, flashing
Of hose
Oh, shut off the ragtime when she comes
along
And tells you that "Shoo-f1y'' is such a
rude song.
Don't tango or trot when she pauses to
ny,
"Rouno dances are nice, but they're rath-
er too gay
When she talks about ''Ouida" quite I'M
der her breath,
Don't spring best seller and scare her
to death.
When she whispers of folly in days that
are gone.
Be kind to dear Grandma and let her
dream on.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-05-14
Mr.. Bryan at Harrisburg.

MIR Bryan was in his old form at Har-
risburG yesterday. The orator for the
occasion suppIanted the diplomat He
talked politics. and with the emphasis
and some of the extravaganza, of po-
litical leader. The fighting man. so long
and so much admired. was again in evil
dcncc.
Take this: ~ man who violates a
party platform is a criminal worse than
the man who embezzlcs money. And Yet
there are democrats. high in office. who
Violated both the letter and the spirit of
the Denver platform in tests that fol-
lowed less than year after its adoption.
Their constituents did not hold them
recreant but have since indorsed them.
And these men now approaching a
test on the Baltimore platform
Take this: THE day of the boss is
gone The people Will write their own
platforms hereafter" But the very plat
forms which Mr.. Bryan holds now were
sacred were not written by the people.
Three OF them were dictated by himself
that adopted at Kansas City in 1900, that
at Denver in I.EiS. and that at Baltimore
last year. He was completely master
of the situation at Kansas City and at
Denver that ne remained at home and
worked his viii by long distance tele-
phone. Last year he appeared in person
at Baltimore. and was the ruling spirit in
the platform committee.
Take this: II venture to say that We
have seen the last of the great national
conventions. That is merely a predic-
ton. Mr.. Bryan has not always shown
the gift of prophecy. He may miss this
time. Strange that he should be set now
against an agency to which he owes so
much. Three national conventions have
been dominated by him, and from the
first of them he sprang into his fame and
power. He should feel tenderly toward
the bridge that carried him over
Still, Mr.. Bryan is now recognized as
definitely committed to full primary pro-
nouncements- Gov Suzer is working for
the abolition of state conventions in New
York, and has invited Mr.. Bryan to visit
the state and speak for the movement
IL state conventions are abolished ma
tional conventions may follow into limbo.
And note the change in Mr.. Bryan $
status in the Empire state. For years
he was poison in democratic circles there
in campaigns. He was not only not in
vited into the state, but notice of his in
tention to make a visit was deplored If
the local democratic leaders could have
kept him out they would have gladly
done so.
Now the governor presents his compli-
ments and requests the aid of Mr.. Bryan
in a movement bearing the democratic
label. New York wants to hear the man
she once dreaded and. presumably. Mr..
Bryan will join Gov. Sulzer, and Mr..
Roosevelt. and Mr. Hearst in the drive
against the machines of both parties.
Was ii the Hindoos or the Hoodoos who
said that politics makes strange bed
fellows?