davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHISON GLOBE.

To a baseball fan, the football season
is the dull season.
Only a few church janitors know any
thing about ventilation.
II you feel trouble coming on. get busy
Work is the Great Healer.
The house majority is usually sufficient
to overcome Fathers veto.
And then some people kick up lot OF
dust without getting anywhere.
No one admires the man who has to
turn around and spit twice before he
starts his story.
While the doctor wants you to get well.
q rapid recovery may interfere with his
business more or less.
The melancholy days are come, the sad
dest Of the year, when poets prattle paro-
dies about the brown and sere.
Possibly the brewer feels superior to
the sa1oonkeeper because he makes more
money in that chosen field.
An alarm clock isn't sufficient to get
some men started to work; they need q
fire alarm or some high explosive
Il once knew q reformed hero who adj
mftted he won his medal by being too
scared to run from an impending peril
Rufe Hoskins.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record

from the Philadelphia Record.1
Time Is money and many q man serves
both.
Strange that 1t seems 10 much easier to
find fault than to find praise.
Some people fall in love ut first sight
and others are gifted with second sight
Even the most empty-headed Of US must
realise there IL plenty Of room At the top.
When fellow asks to be presented to 4
girl does 1t mean that he wants to give
himself away?
The heart and the brain don't always
pull together. but II Is better to have .
soft heart than s0ftening OF the brain.
W1gg-'I am always glad when autumn
comes WaGg-''Yes, thought you were
getting over that summer bored look.
Patience II q virtue" quoted the Wise
Guy. Yes, especially in the people We
owe money to-" amended the Simple
Mug.
Hoax-sYoung Gotrox seems to have an
awful dread Of the matchmaking mamma. -
Joax-s'Yes. he has money to burn
Muggins-'.Charity uncovers . multitude
Of sine Buggins-"Apropos Of what?'
Auggins-'sWell, I attended an amateur
performance for charity last evening
Blobbe-"Bjones has failed as both .
book agent and . bill collector" 6lobbs-
II don't zee much hope for him then -
BlobhoEWeu, he might 0t10 get . job ~
baseball umpire"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
[From the Chicago News

FROM the Cn1Ca&o N0WS.J
Few tears are worth their salt.
Women who shine in society seldom
shine In the kitchen.
The average mans ambition Is to do
something he can't.
The beauty doctor demands SPOT cash
for removing freckles.
One good turn may lead US to hope fof
q few more revolutions.
It's surprising how many friends you
have when you don't need them.
We don't blame a hog for being a hog,
but We blame a man for being one.
The woman who Quarrels with her COM
plexion is always ready to make up.
The way of the transgressor may be
hard, and there are other ways that are
not easy.
When you have saved up enough money
to invest in doubtful mining stock-buy an
overcoat.
One of the incest things about vaca-
ton is that you don't have to take 1t I'M
less you want to.
1t is better to be missed after you are
dead than to have your wife throw things
at you while you are alive.
Human hair il said to be worth about
80 q pound. But we imagine it worth
many times that price to the man who Il
trying to keep what little he has.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Disregarding the rules set by the Or
iginators Of slang. We have. for some
time, persisted in using the WORD
boob" as 81 name for anything
youthful. Our favorfte Johnny cat was
the boob katxie.'' because he was
youthful and fmmatutD. "Boob was
the pet name for the family chee-ild
for the same reason, and because it Is
a modern slang diminutive OF "baby.
But q good friend objects. and here
after the word boob" ~ used In this
colyum, win imply . personal beiiek
in the mental deficiency OF the party
under consideration. according to the
rules Of condensed English.
We did not tan for Billy (singie)
Clifford. A number of those who did
have approached US with the observa-
ton that a single b. Clifford was .
plenty.
OF course it doesn't come OF until
tomorrow, and 1t Is advised to leave
until the morrow the evils thereof. but
i we like not. Horatio, the ofen foist-
| ed upon us by the sport writer's who
! write it 1.-The Washburn- x. U. contest. !"
In a backward glance over history
we discover that in contests. the last
shall be first. Pipe ye case OF the
Russo-Japanese war. It was 30 de-
scrtbed in the earliest stages OF the
confiict-before there was any indica-
ton OF the ultimate; take a slant al
the Franco-Prussian disturbance-sc
named before the battle Of Sedan:
| ALSO the Standardization war-sc
termed all over the world before San
Juan Hill. We are not superstitious.
but feel that the sport writer's should
have called 1t the TX. U.-WashbuFn
game"
| The hoo-raw for Roosevelt In Argen-
tine reminds one of the profane per-
son who wastes his vocabulary when he
stubs his toe. When something really
happens. his remarks are rendered flat
and tnsipid by comparison. If the
First Citizen Of the United States
should visit Argentine. it would davolvs
upon the authorities to burn a pub.
lie building and blow up q few war.
ships to show their appreciation
But mayhap the gentlemen Of Ar.
gentina do not take American news.
papers. Perhaps they still think Rocse.
welt Is the First Citizen Of the United
states. and have not heard that hi
resigned last summer.
And the Argentinas are hereby ad.
vised: that In our country. the gen,
VINO steps on his own foot in a Wilt
attempt to grab something that doe.
not belong to him, is not considered thu
First Citizen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
"oUR SUPERVISED MORALS"

Who is to supervise the morals of
a people? asks Louise Collier WILL
cox, in the November number of the
North American Review, and she
continues: The time is past when par
ents supervised the morals of their
children, and the government in a
large and liberal spirit took charge
of such mature persons as INSTRUCTED
the public welfare. With the growth
Of the world and the multiplication of
complexities and the swift spread of
evil communications this matter of
supervising morals has passed into the
control Of censors, librarians. critics
and that huge and alarming levia-
titanic specter, Public Opinion.
Now morals. like any other defined
science. should have a creed and a
body Of doctrine. But where today
should serious students, librarians
who must accept and exclude books
for general circulation. censors who
are to judge the value and virtue of
plays. legislators who must choose
subjects fit for public discussion
where are all these to go to school
and prepare themselves for their
great public function? Where are ouI
schools of morals and ethics to SET
beside our law and divinity schools
and our new schools of Journalism
This. the most serious subject in the
world-how SO to live as to do nc
harm to ourselves or to others-is
left to the mere erratic tendencies OF
private, unaided, and unscho led opin-
ion.
Where are we to turn for the cures
of this disease we call immortality
Where arc we to learn it's cause, it,
cures?
We do not suppress disease by shut
ting our eyes to IL. When it Is nag
rantly present We contrast it at once
with health. We try remedies. we pub.
lish our conclusions. we openly dis.
cuss our efficiency. One lesson In
morality that requires spreading h
that serious ana Intentional publicity
10 necessary and q precAution. wherea,
any easy and jesting acceptance OF
evil is destructive. Another Is thai
serious thinking = not necessarily
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
EVENING CHAT


1t Is often said that one should new
Ter recommend q servant. dressmaker,
or a doctor
1 am inclined to go much beyond
that and say, Never recommend any
thing or anybody"
The passionate desire to blame
someone when anything goes wrong
IL one OF the most universal of human
emotions. We all know the fury that
assails us when we bump our heads,
or Dru1se our shins upon some inani-
object to blame. Who has not some
times childishly retaliated by actually
kicking an offending chair?
And we all know what a temptation
It Is to blame some meek member Of
the family-usually mother-when
family affairs go wrong.
once recommended to close
friend washerwoman who had done
my washing in a first class manner for
reasonable sum. 1 did not, be 1t
understood. force this information
upon my friend. gave it in answer
10 urgent inquiries on her part. Per-
,, haps I did speak very heartily. but
then the woman was, to my way of
thinking. an unusually good washer
woman: and enthusiasm is one of my
weaknesses.
After that unguarded moment I
~se~A
friend, for she always brought me
bad news Of the washerwoman. She
had charged exorbitantly; she had let
the color run in a new shirt waist
she was late with the cl0thes-for
I these and numerous other faults was
| apologizing.
Finally when could stand it no
longer. in a moment of courage, ]
spoke my mind I told my friend that
the washerwoman- was a very good
worker to my way of thinking. and
that II she didn't think SO. I hoped
she would cease to employ her; but
that in any case didn't want to hear
another word about it. Needless tc
say, our friendship suffered somewhat
from this experience.
OF course. this is not by any means
the only time I have ever suffered
In this way. 1t is merely my bitterest
my latest and hope my last expert.
ence, In the folly Of recommending
anything to anybody.
To be sure there is another side t.
this as to everything. 1 suppose &
your friends were pleased with any.
thing you recommended they would
thank you and you ought also to bs
willing to accept blame II you accept
praise. But somehow the praise seem.
to me to be a great deal scarcer thar
the blame. Perhaps my experience i.
unfortunate. and unique. I dom,
know. OF one thing I'm sure. In the
I future when I am asked about plays
doctors. taflors. restaurants. summer
places, etc. etc, shall tell my owr
personal experience with as little en-
thusfasm as possible, and. then add DO
litely but firmly, but remember this i.
only my experience, don't go by m,
recommendation"
That ought to save me from AM
comeback, oughtn't it?
I wonder If it will?
Il N. B.-Not an hour after writins
this caught myself saying, "YoI
! really ought to try the s. Inn,
never was so we'll treated in my life.
Evidently the desire to Recommend
things I have found worth recon-
mending is too strong in me to bs
uprooted at will. I am not sure tina
| / am sorry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
NoRGIYfN0 RAYa.

XO1kH1V1N0 lEAX3s
II pays to be kind ana 1cr4ivine.
~ Hor NE J. = a. z nut: q TIE eest;
To eat It comprises the rest.
And II In tho cracking. you blunder
Your thumbs into other folks way,
Don't blubber and belloW and thunder
Just grin. It's the ploaaantest way.
1t pays to be kind ana forgiving.
II people don't trade At your store,
Perhaps your attractions need sieving:
Hunt reasons, and do not get sore.
For u you pay heed to your lunches.
And do nothing silly nor rash,
Your fAvors will come back In punches;
Your smiles be transmitted to cash.
Mrs =. r. Kelley. in the Toronto Re
publican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

stockholder also often holds the
sack.
Uneasy street Is the place Of abode
Of the people who live beyond their
means. p
An honest determination seldom
results in the attainment OF q high
percentage mark.
= .
Poverty may not be crime but II
criminals.
Most folk are burdened with all
sorts Of thoughts that they are at
loss for words to express.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

morbid or decadent and new ideas.
wherever they arc directed toward the
protection of life and liberty without
infringement upon the rights Of others
are valuable assets and not insults. II
q Joyous acceptance Of life as 1t APP
pears on the surface Is the natural
primitive instinct, thought, discrimin-
alton. judgment. are growth. not de-
cay.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

If a healthy baseball war develops
in this country. all of the other wars
and revolutions the world over will
have to be content with playing sec
ond fiddle when 1t comes to attaining
prominence In the Columns OF the
newspapers in this and Of the free
and baseball-loving people.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Ortie McManigal's release from Jail
is like jump from tire frying pan
into the fire. He'll probably have to
hide out for the rest Of his life to
escape the wrath OF the friends of
those against whom he turned states
evidence
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
His VARYING Title.

An old fellow attached to an Episcopal
church in New England took friend into
his confidence as to the trtvtality Of the
WELL said he. the old church goes
on the same, although it does change tts
used to be the janftor. Then along comes
pareon who calls me the sextant Tho
next minister says am q virgin; and
the sAcrilege. It's all Z matter OF tasto."
-Harper's AaGnx1na
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Governor Foss, the famous political
acrobat Of Massachusetts,, ought to
have a good idea now az to how
strong, or rather how weak he Is with
the people, as far as his individual
ity il concerned. In other words. the
previous political successes Of Mr..
Toss have been due to the labels Of
the vigorous political parties he has
seen at to wear.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Almost every day the treasury de-
partment issues : batch Of supple
mental regulations relative to the col
lection OF the income tax in an effort
to throw some light on the meaning
OF various features of this most Inn
portant statute. This suggests the
1ecsssity Of = school for members Of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Probably the most enthusiastic ad-
mirers Of the Kansas State Teachers
association are the school children
who get couple of days vacation be-
cause of its annual meeting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Tough luck! John Mitchell, New
York's young mayor-elect. is far from
being wealthy. and the newspapers
report that he and his wife will prob
ably have to live within his salary
of $4,000 q year. If Mrs. Mitchell is
strong enough to take in washing.
t,-ey may be able to have meat for the
Sunday dinner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Perhaps the local Mexicans who
stole thirty-three pairs Of pants were
merely preparing to enter vaudeville
and give limitations of dogs and other
animals.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Probably the dramatists depict the
grosser and brutal activities of life
because Of the appeal that these
things have for the people. Any old
kind of a murder trial always fills
the seats in a court room
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State journal II . member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great neWD -.
ganiEation for the exclusive afternoon
Dublication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pux-
p0sA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Possibly one reason Harry Thaw
doesn't want to return to New York
is his fear of running into one of
those 16,000-word hypothetical ques-
tons Of Mr.. Jerome.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Philadelphia's reputation for sleep
mess has been enhanced by the result
of the recent municipal election there.
A real reform movement was nipped
in the bud.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

An American physician has been
taken into custody by the Mexican
federals. Maybe Huerta has q severe
pain that needs expert treatment.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Kansas weather for the past few
days has been most unusual because
it has been about normal for this per-
Tod of the year. Normal weather and
Kansas are pretty much as strangers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Perhaps 1t is just as we'll that no
ultimatum was sent to Huerta. He
probably would have thrown it in the
WaStepaper basket.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

A man went to a judge and asked
whether he could bring suit for SANDER
against man who had called him a
rlinoceros.-
why, certainly said the Judge.
when did he can you that?"
about three years ago.
Three years ago! And you only start
suit todaye'
But, your honor, yesterday I saw q
rhinoceros for the first time."-Berliner
Illustrite Zeitung.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

congress where they can be taught
how to express their ideas In the
framing Of laws in explicit language
that can be readily understood by q
person Of average Intelligence.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

Argentine now has the distinction OF
being Armageddon. For wherever
Colonel Roosevelt hangs his hat there
Armageddon is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

plastered with a $17.40O verdict in a
breach Of promise suit which she
brought Presumably. the wound will
now heal quickly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

With Colonel Roosevelt in Argen-
tine, some first-hand information on
the merits or dement's of the tango
are in order.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

What has become Of the old fash
toned schoolma'am who was a homely
old maid? Certainly they are con-
spicuous for their absence at the
present gathering Of the Kansas school
faocharo
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

England will not interfere with our
Mexican policy. And maybe John
Bull is afraid we would retaliate by
sending Mrs. Pankhurst home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

MAKE THE FARM ATTRACTIVE.
It IL all very well to talk about the,
nobility Of agriculture and the joys OF
farm life, but the thing that drives the
boys and girls away from the farm -
the very lack Of the nobility and OF Joys
ON the part OF the average farmer. No
boy. or girl. either. II going to admit
that farm life II full OF pleasures and
attraction 30 long Al the farm home
Is simply q roof to cover their heads.
1t II too often the case that the entire
family on the farm spend the indoor
portion Of their lives in the Kitchen,
heated only by the cook stove ana
lighted only by ONE small lamp. Too
often there IL little or no reading mat
ter beyond the weekly paper and the
almanac. These things may be excus-
able in case Of young married couple
very start. but any farmer who has
lived to rear family OF children until
they are half grown II Q failure II he
does not provide better home attrac-
tions.-Sharon Springs Western Times.
THE OLD HEN.
/ The old hen still lives! Drouths
cannot dry her up nor floods drown
her. The calamities of others. prove
blessings to her. The farmers pests,
q product that pays his grocery bills.
A product that is the Quintessence OF
delicacies, as well as one OF the main
staples in the sustenance OF man. Sne
is the farmers savings bank. picking
up q lost grain here, and saving q
waste bit there, and while adding con-
tinually to the principal. pays interest
every day in the shape OF q fresh
golden egg. No banquet table is COM
plete without her presence thereon.
while her products disdain not to
adorn the breakfast table of the hum
BILE workingman. She il queen of q
billion dollar industry. and II she in
dulges in the feminine prerogative OF
cackling over her achievement let her
cackle. Her achievement Is worth the
cackle. Singly an egg is q small COM
modify, but collectively richer than
the mines Of Ohpir.
All hail! The hen; The helpful hen:
Both rich and poor. All hail! Amen.
Thomas owen, in Kansas Farmer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07
A Modern Society DRAINS.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
tfA

CA01 Or' Cf1A0ACxE2S
| A wife.
A husband.
| Scene: A drawing room.
Time: q. m
(Enter husband in sock feet. Wife comes
downstairs and meets him.
TIME Wif e. vrSss have you been until this
Husband Changing his shoes on the hat
rack and placing his silk hat in the gold
! Wtfe-No. you have not Don't try to
deceive me-
toring out to the roadhouse with a party
| of strange women.
| Wffe-No you have not. I know better.
Husband-I have spent the night playing
poker with three old college chums-
beieve fh S1 Don avn YoS e1s % 20
make me believe you have not been be
having yourself.
and that's the solemn truth.
Wife-No such good news Tor me -
that. I know what you have been doing:
You have been down at the office pouring
over your ledger all this time. You
needn't try to fool me. know You have
fess. I suppose. I tried to keep the nor
rid truth from you. but It wasn't any use:
I don't suppose you will forgive me and
Wtfe-Oh, heavings! Can It be? We
have lived together all these years and
your time than to work on your books
How do you expect l am ever going to get
| q divorce unless you cut loose and use
! little red paint on this village? Must
HAYES himself all of my days? Before VIC
were married you used to tell me that you
| were the village cutup and that you al
| ways rode home in the patrol wagon. You
day. an inveterate decent man. You de-
ceived me then and you try to deceive me
now. Wretch!
Husband-Give me one more chance
Matilda, and I'll be good, I'll come home
like q boiled owl and I'll bring two chorus
girls with me. I amt done nothing e
you. Give me q chance.
Wtfe-Wel1, one more chance, then. But
I want you to understand that II you don
ginger up and get arrested for speeding OIL
anyhow. How can ever maintain. my
position IN society II I stay married t.
one man all tine time? Nov you. got you1
bunch right on the reel. Good night. and
rsmemnsr the neEt time ,n y1 2" , G0me nom 2.
the head with . baseball bat: You gotts
give me a chancesin this world.
(Curtain-}
| From the Hickeyvile Clarion.
Old Hiram Scroggs Of BurniDs Corner
dropped into town the other day.
summer, hasn't Il, Hiram was asIsl
'-Oh. middlin', middlin'."
.aThe stock suffered . good 1sal. didn''
'some folks ala. Mine didn't"
How was that? The grass was all dr1et
.Oh yes. the grass was An dried mp. but
I L put green goggles ON all my CIV. and
turned 'em out to pasture The An1m1ie1
to sa o saez s q. 81 STUN Goa
They iii are doany q wsh q they svsa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-07

The Young One,

1AhC 1OUu& OUes
He is only a little Teller, 80
There's lot that he doesn't know.
But his laugh 1t il sweet and meller
And his soul is as white as snow.
Tnefe isn't SO much in his noddla
And instinct is all that he's got -.
He Is just beginnin' to toddle -s-.--.s
AND climb up the Old What-not.
He is just beginning to wonder sss
What this world is and why.
He is just beginning to ponder
He Is just beginnfh' to try
40 solve this here thing called existence
To measure the journey ahead.
And wonder how he'll make the distance.
That all of his forebears have tread
His eyes are as clear as the morning,
The sun kissed ephemeral blue:
The tint of the daybreak adoruing
The east In a wonderful hue.
His gaze Is inQuiring, appealing,
There's naught of cOnnivance or guile
There Is heaven itself in his smile.
He doesn't know much. but he's learning
He knows not the right from the wrong
But his wee little brain is a-yearning
To grasp the portent OF life's song.
wish l could keep him q baby,
This atom of humanity,
He doesn't mean much to you. maybe-
But he's world and heaven to me.