davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
Mr.. Underwood's Tour

Oscar w. Underwood's journeyings
over the state of Alabama are some
what in the nature of a triumphal
tour. The people everywhere are glad
to see him, and they make the fact
known in a manner that is unmistaka-
BILE. They haven't seen much of him in
the past, although they have heard a
great deal of him. This is because Mr..
Underwood has been in Washington
attending to the business he was
chosen to perform.
First came the splendid reception
to Mr.. Underwood in his home city OF
Birmingham. AT Mobile he was ac-
corded ovation after ovation. Admission
made him thrice welcome with encore.
Friday he was in Talladega and won
new friends. Monday night he will be
given magnificent reception in
Montgomery. Tuesday night Selma
will extend itself to do him honor.
And the best part of it all is that
there is nothing of the returning con-
oueror kind in Oscar Underwood. To-
day he is the same man personally he
was when he was first sent to Con-
gress 20 years ago. He strives con-
stantly to live up to his conscience. In
that lies the whole story of his sue
oacc
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Father gets up earlier in the morning
after election day so he can get the
paper and get excited over the results.
But mother can't see anything in the
paper to get excited over except the fact
that the Black and White store advertises
Canton flannel at AZ cents yard, marked
down from cents.
Nobody exer expects to see a hippo
potamus walk a wire. But did you ever
see a fat woman trying to tip toe across
a floor?
Mooching matches has become one of
our greatest outdoor sports.
Commencement day in the school of ex-
perience never comes until the undertaken
hangs a wreath on the door of the grad
uate.
The biggest fool mistake a couple can
make is to imagine they have to quit
their love making just because they are
man and wife.
Another great mystery to every man is
why a boy is in such big hurry to
grow UP.
A man doesn't care what his wife thinks
of him when he refuses her money. But
he will hand strange waiter a dollar
tip rather than have the strange waiter
think he is cheap.
Now that we have the initiative and
referendum as a part of our state gov
ernment, it is about time a woman's in
dignating committee got together and
forced through a law compelling wild
over to buy his first wife tombstone
before he could get married again.
A kiss is a simple little, thing and yet
1t is priceless. You may have noticed
that the man who never forgets to kiss
his wife before he leaves the house doesn't
purchase many automobiles for divorce
lawyers. You may not notice it, but the
day you begin to forget to kiss your
wife marks the beginning of a gradual
drifting apart. Kiss her and pat her on
the back once in while. She'll like you
for it, and it will be big thing in your
favor if she never has cause to doubt
you
An engaged girls idea of doing some-
thing devilish is to eat raw onion.
outside of a good nights sleep man
hasn't much use for things that are good
for him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
General Esteem for Underwood

One does not have to be much of a
traveller to know that Oscar w. Under
wood is great national hero" said
Philip G. Saunders of Maryland.
Il visit Washington frequently. and I
am in Philadelphia and New York from
time TO time. Since Mr.. Underwood got
a little respite from Congress and came
home, the eyes of the whole country seem
to be upon this great southern states
man.
I'm Washington a few days ago I was
talking to a man from Seattle. and he
told me that Underwood was regarded
as one of the most popular democrats
that had ever lived This gentleman said
that the Alabamian was esteemed through
out the west, and that people in that part
of the country took it for granted that he
would have a landslide vote for the Sem
ate. I don't see why Hobson don't with
draw from the race"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
PAY and Shiyer

Patrons of Chicago's elevated roads
will continue to sit-or stand-and
sbiver this winter as usual. They have
appealed to the courts to compel the
operating company to heat the cars,
but the judges have held that there
is no remedy in the law. The law
compels the companies operating sur
face lines to heat then. cars in cold
weather, but some technical defect in
the ordinance attempting to provide
like comfort to users of the elevated
roads has been discovered to make it
impotent.
1t is strange that any such legal
controversy could ever have occurred.
Wisdom, it would seem, would have
counseled the elevated companies not
to stir up the animosity of the public.
The heating of cars costs money, of
course, but in the long run it will not
cost as much as public hostility. The
usual service corporation in this day
makes every effort to win the friend
ship of it's patrons. A valuable lesson
was learned when the utility COM
panies found that good will has the
worth of money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
Need of Law Reform

Governor O'Neal delivered before
the Alabama Land congress in Bir-
mingham this week vigorous speech
in which he dweh upon the necessity
for the reform of the states illogical
and inconsistent system of judicial
procedure. As if to drive home the
arguments of the chief executive,
these incidents occur Immediately in
the courts of the state:
At Montgomery, man was ar
raigned upon an embezzlement charge.
His counsel moved that the indict-
ment upon whicn the state sought to
try him be quashed for the reason
that it failed to charge that the de-
fendant received the sum mentioned
in the true bill sin his official capaci-
ty." 1t was further argued that the
true bill was defective in that it al
legged that the defendant embezzled
a check and did not mention money.
fhe court held with the defense, and
the case with those Of eight other men
was postponed.
At Huntsville, the cases against
two city officials and former mayor
indicted by the last grand jury on
charges of failing 70 preserve the bal
lot boxes used in the city election
were thrown out of court. The solicitor
agreed with the attorney for the de-
tense that there is no law to support
the charges, and said he had so in
kormed the grand jury, but that body
isted upon returning true bills not
standing.
is another part of the Hunts
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
The egotist thinks he has good 81.
Few men care to say what they think
about women.
Great opportunities seldom employ an
advance agent.
An unmarried man never realizes how
many faults he has.
A little push will generally last longer
than political pull.
Our idea of queer woman is one who
prefers comfort to style.
Look out for paint'-before falling in
love with beautiful complexion.
A girl thinks her first beau has forgot
ten more than her father ever knew
A man never knows what he can do
until he tries-then he may be sorry he
found out
When a woman runs across the street
to a neighbor's house for just a minute
she stays an hour.
Some men are proud of the fact that
they have insomnia because they imagine
" indicates excessive brain work.
After woman has been trotting in
double harness for a few years it makes
her fretful every time she sees a newly
married couple making love.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
HoBsoN SHOULD WITHDRAW

From the Pell City Progress
Mr.. Underwood's candidacy should NOT
be confused with the liquor question. IL
means much more than that Mr.. I'm
derwood is Alabamas foremost citizen.
the south's greatest statesman, the DEM
ocratic leader and one of the nations big
gest men. His record since March is the
| record of his party, the record of the adj
ministration. There is no escape from the
conclusion that the defeat of Mr.. Under
wood in his home state would be the
greatest calamity that could befalI tho
President and the democratic party 1t
would place weapon in the hands of the
opposition that would bring about Mr..
Wilson's defeat for reelection. Consid-
erations such as these must outweigh the
desires and ambitions of any single man.
Personally we would have liked to see
Mr.. Hobson in the Senate, We think he
would have adorned the place But dis
appointments and delays must come to us
all. Mr.. Hobson is young man both in
years and legislation experience. His
character and political achievements are
not in any wide sense associated with
that record which is to spell success orr
power This is a responsibility that be-
longs peculiarly to Mr.. Underwood. Con-
ditions have changed since Mr.. Hobson
first announced for the Senate. To keep
in the race will deeply embarrass his
friends and supporters. Mr.. Hobson
should recognize these changed conditions
He should retire from the present cam
paign and announce for reelection from
his district as Mr.. Clayton did. There is
another senatorial opportunity not far dis
tant. Others will follow that In the
natural course of events Mr.. Hobson will
be living and still better prepared 10
grasp that opportunity. BY retiring and
leaving the field to Mr.. Underwood there
Is no power that could prevent Mr. Hob
son ultimately, and in the fullness of his
own physical and mental vigor, from
wearing with credit to himself and to the
people of his state one of Alabamas SEN
atorial togas. Nothing tllat Hobson could
do In the Senate could compensate for the
losses attaching to Underwood's defeat
So even In success Hobson would drink
the cup of party disaster. No democrat
In America can step to national influence
over the political corpse of Oscar Under
wood, and Alabama is not yet quite ready
to play pallbearer at the funeral.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
vile dispatch which will prove of
great interest:

BItdO Interest.
The fact that several members Of the
last grand jury were excused during
the sitting of that body and that other
men were put on in their places had
brought into question the validity of
the true bills returned by the grand
jury which made a very sensational
report last Thursday. recommending the
impeachment of eight county officials.
Leading attorneys of this city claim
that the true bills are invalid because
during the term of the grand jury
five of the original IS men were eX-
cused. Their Interpretation of the law
is to the effect that the original is
grand jurors must not be allowed to
fall below 15 in number. The question
Will be brought up in the form of a
demurrer when the first case growing
out of the action of the grand jury is
brought up on the docket of the law
and equity court. On the other hand,
several lawyers here claim that the
grand jury, although not competent to
recommend impeachment proceedings.
Court officials are "up in the air. ap-
parently. Ninety y-eight true bills were
returned by the last grand jury
With such incidents of almost daily
occurrence, is there any wonder that
the law has fallen into disregard?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
ELECTION FOR UNDERWOOD

rom lHt hODlle ltelf.
When it was given out in Birmingham
on Tuesday that Governor O'Neal would
make another appointment to the United
States Senate to fill the vacancy created
by the death of Senator Johnston, and
would let the Senate pass on the validity
of the appointment in order to settle the
question of how the vacancy should be
filled, The Item wired Representative I'm
derwood this question:
'If appointed by Governor O'Neal to the
United States Senate, will you accept the
appointment
Mr.. Underwood has replied:
''Unless the democracy of Alabama ser
lects me as their candidate for senator
will not accept an appointment to the
Senate"
The reply is what might have been ex-
pected from a man of the caliber of Os-
car Underwood He wants the people of
Alabama to pass on his qualifications.
There is hardly a doubt that If the gov
ernor had the power to appoint senator
and consulted the wishes of the people as
expressed through their representa- tives.
Mr.. Underwood would receive the appoint-
ment and the great majority of the
people of Alabama would be satisfied.
But Mr.. Underwood wants no action on
his behalf which might SAVIOR of politics.
AS in all his public service he is open
and above board in his candidacy for the
Senate.
How different Mr.. Underwood's atti-
tude from that of his political opponent
who jumped a train at Washington i'm
mediately after the death of Senator
Johnston, and hurried to Alabama to tell
Governor O'Neal that he had the power
to appoint senator.
The more the people of Alabama know
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
A DISAPPEARING TYPE

not necessarily imply that a rich young
man must necessarily be a great fool.
There can be as much real joy of life
and much more lasting-i ntne long and
interested pursuit OF some object worthy
of human intelligence, as in devotion to
things that perish with the using. And
the world is happily awalSing to the need.
In the face of all the discomfort and po-
lftical peril which the sight of misem-
ployed wealth provokes, >of insisting that
ric1lesse,- too oblige.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
BLIND "HELLO" GIRLS

From Leslie S.
The Maryland School for the Blind has
found new field of work for-blind girls.
1t has just graduated six well-trained tel
ephone operators who are able to render
first-class service with the regulation
switchboard. Hearing and touch supple
ment the loss of sight, but efforts are be-
ing made to devise a new kind of board
which will simplify the work and make
for greater efficiency. Two blind girls are
now running the board at the central
Young Mems Christian association in Bal
timore with entire satisfaction to the
service. Girls who enjoy the possession
of all their faculties should mako room
switchboard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES
MERRY NIAIDENs.


A maiden at Rawlins, Wyoming,
By the window her hair she stood comb
ing.
Said a man in the street.
.Golly, Mike, amt she sweet?"
And she was, standing there In the gloam-
ing.
Dix Merritt, in Nashville Banner.
maiden in Springfield. Missouri,
Was asked could she serve on q jury,
And be just to each side,
Bobbed her head and replied:
II could ladle out justice like fury"
Judd Lewis, in Houston Post.
A maiden who lives in Shenango,
Thought she'd take wee fling at the
tango;
When she flew in the air
And lost all her back hair,
She said, Goodness, where did my bang
go?'
Charles A. Leedy. in the Youngstown
Telegram.
A maiden who lives in East Totten,
Her name, confess. is forgotten,
Read Shakespeare one day,
In a casual way,
And said, Holy smokel This stuff's rot
ten"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
UNDERWOOD STRONG IN DALLAS
rrom the Montgomery Advertiser.

From the Montgomery Advertiser
r. e. l.. Neil, editor of the Selma
Times, declares that in Dallas county.
oscar Underwood is running far ahead OF
CAPTAIN Hobson, his competitor. He says
the victory of Underwood in Dallas will
be overwhelming.
Captain Hobson is going to get some
votes in Dallas" said Mr.. Nell. ANY man
who gets UP in Dallas and says that pro-
hibiton is an issue and that he is the
prohibition candidate, will get some votes
on that statement. But there is no possi-
BILE chance for Captain .Hobson to run
anything like even with. Underwood. I'd
say that Underwood will get at least two
to one over Hobson in Dallas"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
ON THE BoULEvARDs

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The latest Partisan slang is Thanks for
the lobster Nobody in Paris seems to
understand its meaning, but all the gay
Parisians use 1t. That's the fault with
the slang on the Seine You can't an
alyze IT. 1t doesn't bear inspection. Nor
dissection.
Looked at from an analytical standpoint
the Acknowledgement of the la New
burg material is meaningless.
But just for a moment imagine mon
sieur, the presidente of the republique,
gravely remarking to monsieur the minis
ter of the marine: "Merci pour la lob.
staire.''
Or something like it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
HoBsON DOOMED

From the Huntsville Democrat.
From present appearances Captain Hob
son is doomed to disappointment as re-
CARDS the race for United States senator.
What will be coming to him, will have to
be the preverbial Hobson's choice, and
not one he would prefer. Underwood will
win this race, we believe, without q
shadow of a doubt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
THE WERp BILL

From the Admission Star and Hot Blast.
When Mr.. Underwood stated that he fav-
ored the Webb bill when he could have
killed it, he probably told the truth-a
fact which will justify prohibitionists in
lending him their support, for no meas
ure ever enacted has been of such value
TO their cause,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
Killed Five-Prong Deer

Col. w. B. Leedy has returned from
a successful hunting trip. Accompanied
by his friend. A. L. Rison, the we'll
known banker of Huntsville, he was a
guest of the Greenwood Hunting club
of Mobile.
THE hunt lasted four days, and in that
time we killed and brought into camr
eight deer" said Colonel Leedy Tive
more were killed, but they sank in the
river and we did not get them. 1 was
one of the lucky hunters and killed 8
| five-prong buck, whose head, horns ano
hide / have shipped to Boston taxi
dermist. Our party had two houseboats
three gasoline launches, u guns and /,
dogs, and the hunting was good
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
Money Pouring Into the south

Il doubt if there was ever a year when
the south as a whole was getting such
fine prices for it's principal crops,'' said
John " Ransom of New York.
81 have been two weeks south of the
Potomac, and in that time have visited
several states. 1t had been five years
since my last visit south, and L have
been amazed at the wonderful strides
that have been made recently.
I'm Virginia splendid tobacco crops
have been made, and the prices are high.
In the cotton states, while the staple
crop is not as large this year as in 1911
when the high record was made, 1t is
very large and on account of the high
price 1t will bring more money than any
cotton crop ever produced. Money Is
pouring into the south for its crops, and
prosperity will certainly reign In this
section throughout the winter"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
Talks About Party Chances

Unless the national progressive party
can rally and present strong front in
1916 the democrats will have an easy VIC
tory" said e. G. Lawton of Chicago.
1T looks now as if the old republican
party would never be able to recover from
its crushing defeat of 1912 I have been
voter since 1896, and had always voted
the republican ticket until last year when
shall.
The progressive party organized by
partisans of Colonel Roosevelt may cut a
figure again in the next presidential cleo
ton: probably will, but 1 think it a safe
guess the democrats will continue in
power until 1920. if not longer. The re-
publican party had had its own way too
long and had outhved it's usefulness
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Hiram johnson, governor of California,
was given spread in Chicago the other
day Time was when Hiram figured every
day in big type but it is hard for any
one person TO hold the spotlight long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
RATHER UNUSUAL.

A Missouri preacher who disappeared
left a note saying, "I DON'T know where
I'm going, but I'm on my way" We have
always thought that preachers had a well
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Those pert paragraphers who couldn't
remember the name of the democratic
candidate for governor of Massachusetts
have had their memories refreshed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Harry Kemp has roasted England and
Kipling in a poem, because he was put
in Jail by English authorities Such con-
duct is un-Christian. Poets should learn
to forgive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Just as soon as Colonel Roosevelt's $ an
alysis of the recent election returns comes
from the wilds of South America this
country can again turn it's mind to
thoughts of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Daniel OReilly, lawyer and former con-
vict, died, his friends assert, directly as
the result of his Imprisonment The moral
is that nobody should be sent to jail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Whether a hard winter is predicted or
not is immaterial to the man with coat
of fur on his tongue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

indianapolis has a street car strike that
compares favorably in it's warlike aspects
with the situation in Mexico
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

George B. Ward, president of the city
commission, is not indulging in pyroteeh-
MICS. Being sane and level headed is the
secret of George B. Wards success.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

The wedding of William f. McCombs
and Miss Dorothy Williams is announced
in London. No wonder Mr.. McCombs
didn't have time to fool with any ambas-
sadorship.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Harpers Weekly says Hero HobsoI
poses overmuch Well, he's got to do
something, hasn't he?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Coroner Spain says Jefferson county 8
murder record for November is one a
day. With all its past practice, Jefferson
will do better than that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

The prices charged-and paid-for Bir-
mingham real estate make a patriotic cit
izen proud even of the Birmingham dirt
that settles on his neck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

In some business sections pessmists
may be trying TO assert themselves, but
the big grain crops in the west and the
big cotton crops in the south make for
prosperity with a big "P."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
A suRMIsE.

'Dobbs is a mild-mannered man.
so, or married."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

A long string of bank failures in India
is enoegh, to make the people of that
country return to their primitive practice
of burying their gold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

of Oscar Underwood the bigger will be
their estimate of the representative who
is already big in national affairs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
FoRLoRN OBJECTS.

There is something pathetic about a
deserted house that has fallen into ruins. -
Yes, indeed. And sometimes pair Of
discarded suspenders will move a senti-
mental person to tears
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
HIS FAcETIoIra WAY.

HIS -F'ACETIOUD WAY.
Pa, what is a near-humorist?"
"A near-humorist. son, Is a person who
says When he finds an oyster in a stew.
Well, well, little stranger. what are You
doing hereg''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
HAPPY DAYS ron REFUGEES

The first aid corps are all reported
ready for today's football battles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

A famous beauty went through an ac-
cident and came. out of it with an added
dimple. Speaking of luck, how's this?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Messrs. Castro, Abdul Hamid, Pofirio
loud 'Ha-Ha' for Huerta's benefit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

Felix Diaz fed from Mexico to escape
trouble but found 1t in Havana.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

An Ohio town killed more than 10000
rats in six weeks. Rat swatting is far
more exciting sport than fly swatting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08

"Stock ownership in regional banks to be
given to people," Given did you say?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
PLAIN WORDS.

Don't you think Twobble has lofty
soul?'
mo. think he has a ten-cent soil
elevated on the stills of his own conceit.'.
PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
ALMOST THE RIGHT WORD.

Il see where a western city plans to
have a reservoir that will furnish an un-
limited water supply" remarked Mr..
Judkin.
'oh-ah-really?" yawned Miss Cad
ders. Eve been told that irritation in
the west has worked wonders
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
PROBABLY NOT.

''Scribble says he writes all his love
sonnets to imag ginary women"
"And 1 don't suppose there would be
any objections offered if he mailed all his
love sonnets to imaginary editors''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-08
NOT WORTH IT.

PA, what is meant by the banquet
board?''
1.-The banquet bored, son, are people who
sic for the privilege of eating s1.1o worth
of food