davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
THE MODERN BRITISH NOVEL

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
one of the new worms of British fiction
there are a half dozen or more examples
on the market-concerns the statesman
who is nnhappily married, the unhappi-
ness depending upon the wifes inability
TO aid and understand him. Then, OF
course, there's the other woman.
It's all very simple.
The rising husband reads the speech
which is to thrill the nation, TO his Hun?
wife. She's a frivolous thing who goes
to card clubs and parties, with the brain
of a field mouse. When he finishes the
speech she says: "Oh, Albert did you see
Anatasia's new toqde?'
Then the rising politician goes to the
other woman. She understands him. Yes,
indeed. That's why she's in the book
He reads the same old speech. She eats
it up.
"Ah," he says, II need a catch phrase
something that everybodyswill remem-
ber and respect
The other woman thinks it over She
man of this political climber.
"Why not conclude with this she saws
in her cool, even tones. Every English
mans home is his castle, but castles are
not always honest"
The next morning England rang with
the fiery phrase.
The same afternoon message comes to
him:
your wife has eoped with Fitz Man-
rice Fitz Foozle."
The statesman-now sure of seat in
the cabinet-writes pleasant. letter Of
CONGRATULATIONS to Fitz Foozle and then
goes to the other woman.
When I'm legally free" he says In his
usual deep, rich tones, I'm coming to
awsk you to be me wife"
Does he Gomez.
DarHans .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
Profit-Sharing Plans

Charles w. Eliot, president emeritus
of Harvard, hardly could be classed
as a radical. His life has been spent
at the head of a university regarded
as the most conservative in America.
He is a student and thinker, and while
always holding positive views upon
questions before the American people,
he has never set his sails to catch the
popular breeze. These facts make of
especial interest some of the ideas
advanced by DR.. Eliot in public adj
dress in Boston few nights ago.
Z In DR.. Eliot's opinion, profit-shar-
ing seems the only way out of IAN
intolerable condition OF industrial
strife" Democracy, plus the wage
system" he says, "has produced a
state of affairs in this country which
cannot be maintained. The two great
forces of capital and labor are or
ganized into hostile camps, both
grown strong. Something fundamental
in its nature must be done to relieve
the situation. The only way to bring
efficiency is to give the same motives
to both capital and labor. Profit
sharing will make every man take an
interest in his work."
Like many other earnest thinkers,
who have most of their lives behind
them, Dir. Eliot's face is still looking
toward the rising sun. Could he bet
ter life's conditions, he would do so
through motives of love for his fell
low man. The system he suggests
would indeed be fundamental. 1t is to
be feared that generations will have
come and gone. before it is given a
trial.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.

FROM the chicago NtWS
A hot temper requires cool treatment.
The village gossip never has time to
take a vacation.
Most men would be only too glad to be
considered land poor.
Be busy bee. It's always better to
string than to get stung.
There are but two kinds of men, one
talks while the other acts.
We wouldn't mind being awkward
enough to fall into a good thing.
Men who never have occasion to buy
an umbrella are pretty good hustlers.
A lazy man does less harm than the ac-
tive man who stirs up unnecessary trou-
BILE
One can usually tell by mans whistle
whether things are coming his way or not.
Look for sweet faced girl in calico
gown if you want to see real angel in
disguise.
If husbands and wives were absolutely
frank with each other, how long would
they live together?
4 woman is always saying that she
hasn't anything to wear, yet every closet
in the house contains some of her clothes
Most of the trouble in this world is due
to the fact that about one-half the people
IN it are men and the other half women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
WHAT RULERS SMOKE

From the London Standard.
Some amusing details of the particular
smoking tastes of popular Frenchmen and
European sovereigns have been gathered
NJ. BRAND smokes nothing but cigar
cites, of all Sorts M. Pelletan halfpenny
cigars, and M. Lepine, ex-prefect of po-
lice and now deputy for Montbrisson clay
pipes, which he breaks as soon as he has
finished using once.
The late King Edward smoked the
longest and thickest cigars ever known
they being exactly S1A inches long and 2ls
inches in diameter. These were made ex-
pressly for his majesty in Havana and
cost five shillings each, while the work.
man received 10 pence a cigar for the
making. The Kaiser patronizes the same
manufacturer but his cigars are of
smaller caliber and more modest in price,
being only 61s inches long and costing &c
a hundred.
The Emperor Francis Joseph has never
smoked but one sort of cigar, which is a
favorite with the working classes in AUS
black article. tapering at both ends, thin
lback article, tapering at both ends, and
traversed by a straw. His majesty can
get through more of these than most men
and it must be distinctly educated taste
to enjoy these "puros," which burn the
tongue like coal.
The Czar has a special cigarette made
for him of choice Turkish tobacco, grown
and selected exclusively for his own con-
sumption. King Alfonso scarcely smokes
anything but cigarettes, but is such a
slave to the habit that he is miserable
when court etiquette prevents him for
mere than an hour from indulging.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
Large and MetrOpoIitan-IiIx

i was in birmingham for the first time
In 1902 and business here seemed to he
booming then, but L had no idea that
would find such handsome and metro
politan-lile city as Is in evidence todav..''
said A r. Laughton of Chicago.
When I read the last census report of
Birmingham popula ton, I was not sur
prised that the figures Were something
like $4,000, but there have been such vast
improvements in the business district, to
say nothing of the splendid expansion Of
residential sections. that l marvel at the
progress made and the general appearance
or stability. am told that Birmingham
has population now of close on to 200, 600.
There are young men living here at the
present time who will live to see Birmin,.-
ham with population of between 75O, ,OOC
and 100000. Birmingham and its environt
VIII probably be in the million population
class within the next 80 or 40 years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
AbOlishing Slavery

A bill prohibiting slavery in the
Philippines has been passed by the
national assembly. The debate was
heated, but when the measure was
put upon its final pass ge, few dared
cast their votes against it. The new
act reaffirms the Spanish statutes
against slavery and Incorporates the
laws existing in the United States.
Philippine slavery had become a
scandal which reflected upon the
United States. Recent Investigations
have disclosed conditions that few out
side the archipelago suspected. Not
only are humans held in involuntary
servitude in the islands, but hundreds
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

tremendous population that seems to grow
with each generation.
"Faurot, a handsome, soft spoken man,
is the American Bertillon. lie has taught
New York's 700 and more detectives how
to pick a face out OF the crowd by mod
ern, scientific methods The bull as the
New York detective is known to the
crooks, does not depend upon a photo
graph. II the crook he Is after has ever
been in the hands of Faurots headquar-
ters men his Bertillon record will show
that he has one of three kinds of human
nose, 'vexe, rect or cave as Bertillon
classified them. If he has a concave nose,
say, then his search is confined to faces
showing that particular form of feature.
All the others are eliminated. Then there
are only four kinds of human ears, the
triangular, oval. square and round Say
his crook has an oval ear. This elimi-
mates all those who have ears of the
other sort and brings his field down to
those who have concave noses and oval
ears BY this wedding out process the
Bertillon detective has put aside the thou
sands who have any of the combinations
of ear and nose that might be made with
these seven types of features save tne
one combination of concaVe nose ana oval
ear. If one of Faurot's scientifically
taught men lands a suspect he can ehecK
up on him surely. The human race Is
divided into q sections and in each sec
ton the Bertillon chart will show It's Pc
cularities. The process of elimination VIII
gradually exclude every human being but
this one man, using the calculus OF prop
abilities. Finally nature herself comes u
the aid of the detective with the nnger
prints, for she. has given to each oil US
one certain individual stamp that never
'changes and that cannot be changeo-.he
rings. islands whorls and parabolae 10
he found on the inner cuticle of the dighs.
"chatting with him one day in the
Identification bureau, the writer, VINO mas
had years of experience as a criifliilai
reporter, found that Faurot had taken
his finger prints surreptitiously. Inc III
terviewer had placed his hand on a blank
sheet of white paper on the detectiVe
cantains desk. Faurot sprinkled the
white sheet with charcoal dust and theh
by shifting the charcoal dust careiuiS
from side to side brought out the flnger
prints made>by the moist cuticle.
"Silverware, glassware, safe tumoiers'
furniture and all minerals and metais
which to the eve of the average man bear
no trace of the message sometimes noiu
for weeks the record of the hand that iast
touched them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
Tuscaloosa Proyress,nu

The Rev. Marvin R. Hehin, pastor OF
the First Methodist church of Tuscaloosa,
was in Birmingham yesterday.
Tuscaloosa is prospering greatly" said
Mr.. Hefiin 1T has been growing steadily
and it's business interests are on most
substantial basis The barge line connect
ing Tuscaloosa with the gulf is a great
thlng' OF course, for Tuscaloosa and all
this part of the country. As everyone
knows, Tuscaloosa is a great educational
center, and altogether the city is most de.
lightful from social point of view
Il feel pleased to think that the bishop
has reappointed me to the First church
of Tuscaloosa 1t is one of the best
charges in the North Alabama conference,
and, Of course, like the work there very
much"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
.A.rrER THE coon.
rom the National Monthly.

From the National Monthly.
A Presbyterian minister Of the name
of Hayes was once travelling through
the wilds of West Virginia. One Sun
day evening late he called halt at a
log cabin BY the road and gave a halloo'
when a woman came to the door.
Hayes said: where is your hus-
band2"
"He went coon hunting. He killed
two whoppin' big coons last Sunday"
doesn't your husband fear the
Lord?"
..Oh, yes; he always takes his gun
with him.
'Are there any Presbyterians in this
country?"
IT don't know whether he has killed
any Presbyterians or not. You can go
out to the shed and look at the hides
and see.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
HUMAN BORES

In the November Woman's Home Com
panion appears an article entitled, Little
Courtesies of Social Life in the course
of which the author mentions, as follows,
a few people who make nuisances of
themselves:
'Other discourtesies you meet in private
as well as in public. Do we not all know
the man or woman who takes up book
or paper and reads while Others in the
circle are talking? Do we not meet every
day the persons who discuss together
people and places and things they know
and we don't? Does any one of us escape
the trial of the interrupter who breaks
in upon our best story with an irrelevant
remark, or who snaps our most telling
argument in two to interject some COM
ment, humorous otherwise? Or OF the
chronic storyteller who can hardly wait
cause of his eagerness to cap 1t with one
he believes better? We have all met just
such people who have done these very
things, thoughtessly, no doubt. but not
the less unpleasant for that reason.
"These and many others are always
with us, and all are guilty of discour-
tesy and genuine bad breeding. The only
way to eliminate them and their breaches
of manners is by individual, effort with
our families, our friends-and ourselves"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
First Visit This Far south

Until l came on this trip l had never
been farther south than South Caro-
lima" said T. w. Rockwell of Albany,
N. Y, vice president and' general man
ager of the United Hotels company,
lessees of the Hotel Tutwiler, who with
a party accompanying him. is registered
at the Hillman.
II stopped over Sunday in Atlanta and
found that city prosperous looking, and I
find Birmingham fully up to my expec-
tations. This is a great city, indeed,
and it's prophets do not seem to have
overshot the mark"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
No War with Mexico

President Wilson's policy in dealing
with the difficult Mexican situation and
in averting war is generally commended
throughout the couptry. 1 believe-it is,
l know, in the national capital among
the great majority of people," said L. C.
Rathburn of Washington, d. C.
''In large country like this there will
always be some people who would like to
see a scrap between this and some other
nation as long as the United States would
certainly come ON victorious: but the
longer we live the more we should love
peace and resort to war only as a last
extremity in defense of national honor.
At one time it looked as if the United
States would invade Mexico with its
army, but 1 believe now that we will
keep out of war;"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
An Amusing Clock

THAT old clock there always amuses
me-" said Street Commissioner Frank
Gafford yesterday afternoon while stand
ing in the city hall lobby. 1.-The old city
hall clock has been there for years. and
it runs on an average of just about every
other week.
when it does run it's never on time.
1 always look at it to see what time it
is, and then pull out my watch TO see
how far wrong the clock is. 1 heard a
fellow say today that the next time he
came in here and saw the old clock TAX
ing another holiday that he was going
to throw a brick through her face, but
that's foolishness. If the clock were to
start running and keep running and run
right, I'd feel that there was something
missing about the city hall. l could not
help but worry"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

In the exhibition of the Association OF
York last week We're five pictures painted
by Mrs. Woodrow Wilson. wife of the
President of the United States. One of
her paintings was sold to Alexander H
ETudnut of New York The price was not
made public. but it was believed to be
comparatively large. OF Mrs. Wilson'S 5
five pictures ON exhibition only three were
for sale, and the other two will find pur-
chasers. All five of the paintings were
executed at the Presidents summer home
in Cornish. y. H., long famous for its art
list colony 1t was for the art atmos-
phere and the art associations, it is said.
that President Wilson chose the old Win
ston Churchill house for his summer res
idence. The New York Sun, in telling of
the pictures, says that two of the five
were too intimately connected with the
Wilson home life the artist-wife of the
President felt, to be sold. The five
paintings were entitled. "Ascutney,"
Light and Shade" Autumn Fields
(Which is the one which Mr.. Hudnut
purchased), Cornish" and THE Ter
race The last two were simply loaned
to the exhibition Mr.. Hudnut cannot be
accused of having made the purchase Tor
patriotic reasons. says the Sun. He is a
well known connoisseur of art. He owns
many examples of the work of the inn
pressionist, Frieseke, and many Wyants.
He purchased the other day the bronze
Fish GIRL by Janet scudder, on exhibit
ton now at Theodore b. Starr's and his
collection of blue china is one of the most
notable anywhere.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
TAKEN ON RAINY DAYS.

TAKEN On RAINY DAYS.
so you admire philanthropists. eh?e
Yes, I do"
And what, pray, have you ever con-
tributed to your fellow MANI"
NO less than 36 umbrellas"
A LARGE INCOME.
IT'S a case of Christmas giftv all the
year around with old Mr. Grabson.o
How is that?"
Every thirty days he participates in
some kind of dividend"
AN UNKIND REMARK.
PA, what does it mean when one
woman looks daggers at another woman?"
ut probably means. my son. that the
woman looked at has just said that the
regalia of the other woman reminded her
of an oriental bazar!'
THEY HESITATE.
The times have changed in Mexico,
That land of fair romance,
For thither tourists used to go
Who now won't take the chance.
HIS TRADE OR PROFESSION.
You say this man is a ready speaker
on his feet?'
you misunderstood me. I said he was
ready speaker on other peoples feet
"What?"
Being an expert chiropodist"
A HABIT.
The price of Turk
Ish cigarettes
Fills Floss McGuirk
With keen regrets.
1t lately has
Gone up, you know,
And Floss alas,
Blue wreaths must blow.
THE WINNER
80 Miss Biffers is married at last?"
yes"
And who is the happy man?'
Her dear old dad"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
GAINING GROUND

From the LineviIIe Headlight.
Underwood is gaining ground every day
in this section of the state. The plain
people appreciate what he has done for
them as majority leader in the House of
Representatives and they will show their
appreciation by vote of confidence that
will cause the Hobsonites to open their
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

It is reported that the mental state of
Porter Charlton may be questioned. He
has had plenty of leisure since his ar
rest to study a few of the salient char
acteristcs of insanity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Aeroplanes are now being built which
will carry a dozen passengers. The an
cient and honorable guild of undertakers
is preparing to recruit its ranks in an
tcpation of a rush of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
SUBDUED.

sUBDUED.
a married man
Is William Bones.
Who always speaks
In gentle tones.
Though time was when
His ways were brisk,
He hates these days
To take the risk
EVEN SEEMS SMALL TO Us.
A college student was robbed in Man
haitian Kansas. and the newspapers of
that town referred to the rs cents taken !.
from him as booty
We wonder what sum the editors of
those papers would consider Important
money"
GOOD NIGHT TO HIM.
A prince of ginks,
Soon may he fall,
The chump who thinks
He knows 1t all.
EFFECT IT HAD
"A minstrel show was given ELIMINATES
of reformatory the other day."
''Yes?"
And after the show was over a large
part of the audience. thought it knew why
some of the performers happened to be
inmates"
- =
.DENATIIREI1 DID n1.,A NrIusx.
Old Mr.. Byrd Hf#zefs
is always hot;
His favorite word
.rs Is ''Tomniyrotnt zN ~.
-Brmingham Age-Herald.
When Mr.. Stout
Can't find his books
He sputtered out
loud "Gadzookst'
Youngstown Telegram.
IMPORTANT MEN.
'Mr. Bumpus says he sympathizes with
President Wilson in the mighty problems
he has to settle"
us Mr.. Bumpus also man of affairs?"
81 should say so! He's chairman of half
dozen local committees for the uplift
of humanity PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

The governor of Delaware defends the
whipping post and is firmly of the opin-
ion that if the people of Delaware want
to maintain the whipping post it is no.
body else's business He may be right.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

DIR. J. Leon Williams says he is pre-
globe half a million years ago. But what
has all that got to do with the high cost
of living?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Mayor-Elect Mitchell says he may ap-
He seems the kind of man. says cynic.
that doesn't care how much trouble he
starts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Miss Rheta Childe Dorr, editor of the
Suffragist, said recently that women of
today are in a worse condition than the
negroes before the emancipation. There
perspective.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

When John Lind leaves Mexico, that
portion of the railroad between Vera
Cruz and the capital is expected to show
a heavy falling off in passenger traffic
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Mexicans call President Wilson Pump
kin Head" We may have to teach those
greasers some manners after all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Venustiano Carranza wants it distinctly
understood that he will never be salts
fed with life until Huerta is eliminated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

An ambitious actor is going about the
dramatsts of equal fame that few people
ever heard about. A fine brand of cour-
agel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

A princess who was once referred to as
'Her Royal Shyness," smokes cigarettes
now and dances the tango. She's coming
on
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Tammany is said to have decided to
reform itself from the inside. There is
so little left of 1t the job shouldn't be
such a hard one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

An overworked ambulance corps views
with satisfaction the approaching end of
the football season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

The people of New York city concern
themselves with politics, business
conditions, uplift and ball games, but the
most absorbing topic now is the price of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
THEN EVEN AS NOW

BY Washington Irving.
We are all old fashion'd fellows, our
nieces will say;
Old fashioned. indeed, coz-and swear it
they may
For freely confess that it yields me no
pride
To see them all blaze what their mothers
would hide; s.s sss.
To see them, all shivering, some cold VIM
ter's day,
So lavish their beauties and graces dis
play,
And give to each fopling that offers his
fr hand, @.
Like Moses from Pisgah-a peep at the
land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
ELEPHANT WORTH WHILE

From the Lineville Headlight.
Birmingham now has a real black
elephant in her zoo. That city has for
many years been possessed of any number
Of white elephants
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
THAI,S HER NAME

The Birmingham children have an ele-
phant on their hands. Just Fancy!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

General Huerta seems to belong to that
class of birds who can sing, but won't
sing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18
Ex-President Taft was in Washing,

Ex-President Taft was in Washington a
few days ago to lecture before the Ma
tional Geographic society, and while
there called on President Wilson. The ex-
President is so pounds lighter than ne used
appearance was due to careful diet and
unlimited exercise. Mr.. Tafts admission
to the executive presence was obtained
only after he had run gauntlet of hand
shaking and congratulations on his splen-
cid appearance from officials high and
low and the newspaper men who linger
about the portals of the executive offices.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Another great victory for wireless
when a ship was summoned 1S1 miles to
the rescue of another vessel that was
burning. The ship itself. Spanish
freighter, and every soul on board were
saved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-11-18

Entered at the Birmingham, Aia.'
postoffice as second class matter unuer
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1913-01-09
The ChurCheS.
GERMAN LUTH. lions CHURCH.
VIM. Rramscher, Pastor

Services at Warren at the Lutheran
Synod church Sunday, Jan. II at 1870
p. m. All are cordially invited to at
tend. 2n.