The Washington herald., 1913-01-05
,oopyrish. by the Boos..M.rin COMPANY,

,toopyrisht By the Bobhs Merrill Company
II IT hadn't ralned at Waterloo Ma
poleon might not have sunk to the
obscure fame OF cigar label; IL Lots
wife Cwhose name. at this particular mo
ment, fail to recoIleco hadn't looked
around, many's the rumorist who would
be shy sundry half dollars; IL Ulysses
hadn't met Calypso. Penelope's knitting
would have been accomplished in a rea-
sonabIy small compass Of time, thus, IT,
on the morning OF March tenth, bliz-
zard hadn't romped IN from the Atlantic.
there wouldn't have been any wrong coat.
The day before had been treacherously
warm and springiike. and I had gone
about my affairs without any coat. It is
always the seemingly infinitesimal things
that count heaviest in the final reckon
ing
I hadn't gone two blocks from Mou-
gums that night. when I noted the fact
that I was wearing a coat that did not
belong to me. With growI I turned
around and went back. simply wasted
my time; my coat was nowhere to be
found. I stormed about. sending the
walters jumping all over the restaurant.
hut to no avail. Finally I claimed down
and admitted that it was all my own
fault / should have examined the coat
when shouldered into 1t. So I left word
at the cashiers desk and sought the
street again.
Doubtless you have lost a coat or hat
in your time, If you who read happen
10 be a man. 1t is curious, but, no
matter how much you are bettered in the
exchange, you raise a howl-you make
the echoes ache with your lamentations
There is nothing on earth you want
save your own coat and hat To be
sure, II. in the pockets OF the wrong
coat. there happen to be several thou
sand dollars. your howl is modified and
innocuous. and you go at once 10 look
for the other fellow-perhaps. But. as
in this instance there were only thirty
five cents. a Cancelled railroad ticket.
and a scattering of cloves and tabloids
for the breath. my cries were heard afar.
Hang all absent-minded buffers, myself
included. whose wits go wool-gathering
at bad times, The coat was Just like
mine, a light gray winter paddock lined
with heavy satin. The only difference
lay in the sleeves: these had small
change pockets, whereas mine had none.
" was even exchange and no robbery.
but l was none the less angry The
truth is. it was just after the first of
the month and there were four or five
unpaid bills in the inside pocket OF my
coat zone was the bill for the coatD
So I climbed the stairs to the elevated
station in no amiable frame of mind. !
Well, well: il really did not matter IL |
the gentleman who had appropriated
my coat learned that I owed my tailor. |
To owe ones tailor as long as the law
permits is quite customary-not only Gus |
tOmary. but also proper and commend |
able. The other bills were for cigars. |
gloves and hats; that is to say. OF no
great Importance.
I pumped into a vacant scat and glow |
cred at the street below. 1t had stopped |
showing and the wind had gone down. |
For once in my life 7 took no interest |
in the advertising signs wanted my |
coat. and for all | knew the man who |
had il might stumble under an automo- |
bile and ruin the garment: and. even |
If he didn't ruin it. il would smell toler- !
ably strong of gasoline. l Conjured up |
all manner OF catastrophes regarding the |
ultimate end Of my coat. The other fell |
low might he burned up in il: he might |
fall down a greasy elevator shaft in it, |
he might even he lugsed to Jail in it. |
which was not at all unlikely, the cloves
and tablods speaking not very well for
his habits. Was there ever such luck?
Having no newspaper with which TO
pass away the time, | fell once more to |
rUmma cling the wrong coat. AS l search 1
I'd the pockets my sense OF guilt was in
nowise agitated Doubtless the owner
was at that moment going through the