New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-02
AS | WAS SAYING

1t all depends II you have morbid. gloomy. pes
simstic temperament it grieves YOU to the Lady
of the Period slaughtering her feminine ideals one
after another with such ferocity that in Few years
more of this there will not he feminine ideal eft
alive But if there is sunshine i'm your soul you are
profoundly tickled. Consider the dazzling oppor-
tunity that grows bigger and brighter every time
feminine ideal goes pop. Want 10 get rich? Flnd
the substitute for woman.
Everybody Is prssing Jacques. seligman's good
nature in paving So iOo for a Louis XIV chair. but
the moral subimity Of The transaction Is far too
generally overlooked Mong doc, what faith
Inch 10y inch the Irish Festival approaches
Patience brethren The preparations are an affair
Of extreme delicacy Surely YOU have not forgotten
the enugent Irish Festival al West Shillaleh y d.
where Mr. Terence O'Suyan MacIntyre honored
his tribe by singing.
The Murphys the Csseys. the O'shaughnesseys. the
Rileys and ivry Mcguire
Bow down low. marchin We go; tbs the
ngant bold MacIutyre'
But among those present on that brilliant occa-
sion were Messrs Murphy. casey, O'Shauehnessey,
Riley and Mcguire. and their behavior was beyond
praise Moral II is cheaper in the end to order
direct from the kilns.
We applaud this nation wide campaign FOR better
babies but defy them to improve ours
Now that the hunger strike is taking root among
American institutions. thanks TO the lady who mas
starved herself free al York should think
up a remedy. Strike breakers might do. Seeing her
caramels devoured 10y others in her very presence.
with many "Mmnms"' and a rapturous licking or
chops. would bother a lady. But We must not FOR
get that dealing with stern stern sex.
some would stick it even then. SO We prescribe
cure suggested by the ancient limerick about the
dainty albeit pantophagous young creature who
Never was able
TO at the table
But In the back pantry-oh Iawd"
The very thing by lingo on Monday morning,
according to our plan. the warden walks in on Mrs.
81 400 and SAYS. Here's your weeks board. lie
deposits several armfuls Of beatihc bags and boxes
and departs After that nobody goes Mrs. 81
1863 for an entire week. TO all intents her cell be-
comes q regular back pantry. 1t is a cruel method;
granted by Monday night the whole supply is con
sumed and yet should steel ourselves against
the maudln sentiment that makes prison life at
tractiye.
Speaking of the Chicago city Councils new ord-
nance Kidding the shop windows of pictures that
portray the undraped figure a great deal is to be
said on both sides all Of which Will be found else
where
Literary note. Mr.. r. *. Wangford Snitch the
distne ushed novelist is motoring in the Tyrol with
his first wife.
Since Golfers" dropped to a nickel have been
simply overrun with investors who cannot decide
what 10 do with their money. Our advice Is: Be-
ware of stocks bonds mortgages life insurance etc.
These devices Increase your money AS the value OF
money is swiftly diminishing. the more you get the
more YOU will lose. Better invest in some form Of
property that will he worth more ten years hence
than it Is now. Buy eggs
cares that the publishers reject his best pictures.
II Is only too true. For publishers have a curious
ambition TO sell what they buy The more Of it
they sell the jollier they And when one sells
pictures to a vast and wildly appausive public one
must not aim too high In matters of taste. pre-
cselv as in matters of mice that spin the rule is.
THE higher the fewer" Even Jokes feel the press
ure Saws John Travena Make neat epgram,
and two people in a hundred laugh. Clap false
nose on your face and bray like an ass and ninety
eight split their sides" This explains why had
never heard Of j. r. before.
Again they are telling that the unfailing
remedy for nerves is "A garden. The weeds. the
stones the bugs the blight. the sunburn. the back
ache the perspiraton and the fertilizer will kill
even the most obstinate nerve; or, II not. YOU may
as we'll have il out. X. l.. II.