The Sentinel=record., 1913-12-14
IN WHICH THEY BURlESQUE THE UNITED STATES GOVERN
 MENT AS MEXlCANlZED
CUT BRYAN'S VOCAL CHORDS
Best Manner of Grabbing the Presi- dency and Disposing of Undesirable Statesmen Is Emphasized in a Hu- morous Vein By Scribes.

Washington Dec. 13.-Glow the United Sta.es would be governed un- der a Mexicanized administration how appettes of hungry office seek CTS should be appeased, and the best way to dispose of undesirable states men, were questions he Gridiron Club undertook to answer in humor- ous vein before distinguished guests tonight at its annual December din her.
 President Wilson, Vice President Marshall, Secretary Bryan and Sen ate and House leaders came in for a share on he Gridiron.
 American government as conducted on the Mexican plan was disclosed in the opening skit. An extra edition of a newspaper announced: Grave crisis in American affairs. United States Mexicanized. whereupon ap- peared an army headed by "Bryanna Bryana," followed by "Tumulto."
 Bryanna Bryana According to approved Mexican standards, l have grabbed he presidency"
 Voice from rear: That's the only way you could get it."
 The dictator appropriated all the money in the treasury and ordered the execution of a few congressman,
 Vice President Marshallera appear ed and said he had heard .here was a vacancy at the white house. He was promptly elected
 After increasing his own salary, Bryanna Bryanna made all his army generals; told them he could not pay and sent them to kill Champero Clarkista. Tha. leader won over the army with a promise of pay, marched into the hall overthrow Bryanna and ordered his execution, which sentence he made worse by adding "Cut his vocal chords"
 The new dictator assumed office and killed Senators O'Gormano, Reed | avera and Hitchkoko. The army re- turned headed by another pretender, | "Wm Alsorandolph Hersta" who de- manded the presidency He ordered | the army to kill Clarkista who re- piled "Too late That's what your support did to me at Baltimore"
 Moose Bulera" appeared for The | fourth time but scuttled away when Hersta threatened 10 print full re- ports of his speeches.
 The army was taken by Battle | Bob LaFolletto" claiming to be the only honest man in public life" He ! ghrust out Dictator Hers.a with q | originated universal peace. Bryanna stole that. l am the original trust buster Everybody's busting them now-and they stole my stuff wanted the progressive nomination. The Bull Moose stole that
 Marshallera again bobbed up but retired upon being presented wi.h an enormous turnip.
 Further disorder was created by | the appearance of Mrs. Pankhurst, | whose shrieks of votes for women" were subdued by the presidents offer of hospitality when he was warned That women now vote in ten states.
 The club openly initiated five new members. They were F. A. Fowler of the New York Sun, Arthur B. Krock of the Louisville Courier Journal, John P. Ryan of the San Francisco Post, Fred Essary of the Baltimore Sun and Thomas w. Brahany of the White House offices.
 The initiation was to have been conducted by the federal reserve board composed of Harry Thaw," David Lamar" Col Mulhall," Jack Johnson" Wm Sulzer" and Charles r, Murphy" headed by General Coxey." but they quarrelled when they attempted to hold a meeting.
 President Kaufman of he club or dered admission of the candidates up- on payment of dues.
 The strains of La Grande Duchesse were rendered by the music commit tee. Set to the old score was d stir ring -ale, "The AK of Adlai." A win some lass was introduced as Miss Democracy. She thought "the white house would afford me shelter; but weddings turn the place helter skel- | ter"
 Asked what knitting employed her skill. Miss Democracy replied:
 'I have just crocheted a lovely tar |