davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

John Kendriclx Bangs in Lippincott' S
Magazine
The waves were tapping idly upon the
heated sands of Beachmere- by-th the-Sea.
their rhythmic motion giving certain
Mulligatawney lying at her feet, build
ing little edfices in the white sand, chilled
as she spoke.
Il do not see how you could even have
thought of such thing she said, gaz-
ing codly out upon the sea. II have
tried to be nice to you. and l think |
have succeeded
There can be no doubt of that he
interjected hastily "You have been very
nice to me from the moment we first
met No one could have been nicer
But because I walk with you, and ac-
cept roses and boxes of candy from you,
and dance with you, and with my
mother take an occasional ride over the
country with you in your motor" she
went on witheringly, lis no reason fol-
your supposing that I am in love with
you, unless you are one of those mer
who think they are irresistible, and thai
no woman can look at them without al
once losing her heart
| Il assure you" Mulligatawney put In
shifting his position easily, that 1 am
not in the least that sort. OF course !
| know that | am attractive
"conceit," shifted the girl contemptu-
ously
Not at ALL" said Mulllgatawney. with
smile. 1T would be false modesty for
me to deny it-but | have never posed as
or pretended to be lady killer
And yet" she retorted 'presuming
upon our very slight acquaintance of
10 days, you have had the temerity to
pl oppose to me. Did you think for a
moment that | would accept you?"
Mulligatawney laughed at the ques-
tion.
ITO tell you the truth. no., he re-
piled. 1T never entered my mind that
! you would, and in entire respect to
! you. Miss Slithers, permit me to say
that if l had thought you would accept
me. should never have proposed"
The girl started at these strange
words, and for the first time began to
! feel a real interest in the man before
| her.
you mean to tell me, then" she de-
manded, that you put the most sared
question a man can ask a woman just
to crafty an idle wlim, frivolously and
with no seriousness of purpose?"
Not at all, my dear Miss Sitners, -
said Muligatawney. ut was neither an
! idle whim nor frivoity that led to the
question l did it simply because il
was such a terribly hot day. Are you
aware that the thermometer registers 9S
in the shade?'
Surely | am" she replied. But what
has that got to do with your asking
me to harry your
II knew of no other way to bring on
a frost" said Mulligatawney, politely.
| The girl sprang to her feet.
"Ah,'' she said icily, that is it, ell
Well, let me tell you, Henry Mulliga-
tawney, that you have done more than
that, for my answers is snow.''
| And she left him SO coldly that, de-
| spite the awful temperature, he shiv-
cred out on the sandy reaches of those
| sun baked sands
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
POINTED pARAGRApHs

From the Chicago News.
Money makes the man who makes the
money
The man ON crutches has lame excuse
for begging.
The street paved with good intentions
is too slippery.
a willowy maid is Il skinny girl with an
obese bank account
What does the spinster do for somebody y
to button her mp the back?
Every man wants to climb twice as high
as he can ever hope to get
The gay deceiver never deceives any one
SO much as he does himself.
Getting engaged costs more than getting
disensaged, but it is more fun.
Experience isn't much of teacher wher
it comes TO investing in gold bricks.
The chap who insists on getting what is
coming to him never stops at that
How many men do YOU know who lei
their religion interfere with their busi-
ness?
Spea aking of vanity, there is nothing N
earth that can get so completely stuck or
tlsef as sheet of postage stamps.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
urups IN SAFETY FROM AIRsHIp

Airmefp are beginning TO pay more
attention to safety devices than was
the case in the early history of avia-
ton and new devices for insuring the
stability of aeroplanes. for protecting
the airmen against injury in case Of
accident, and for descending in safety
from a crippled or unmanageable ma
chine are being developed throughout
the world.
\ spectacular test of one of the new
safety devices was made in California
on June 20, and is described in the Au-
gust Popular Mechanics Magazine. A
young woman jumped from an aero
plane at a height of more than 1000
feet and landed safely on earth with
out the slightest injury. The apparatus
she used is known as safety pack
1t is parachute of very thin but
strong silk fastened to mesh made
of Italian hemp and so folded into
canvas case that 1t opens at the slight
est pull. The entire pack weights but
IL pounds and is designed to be at
tached to the shoulders of the airman
or his passenger. ready for instant use
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
SOME ENGLISH

From the Popular Magazine.
A man, who was indisputably farm
er, a farmer far out in the country,
took his wife to Chicago for visit.
Now" said the farmer to his wife,
the first morning after they had ar
rived, lit makes big impression on
these hotel people if you telephone
down to the head waiter what you want
for breakfast, and tell him to have IT
prepared and on the table for you by
the time you get down."
He did the telephoning, but the wife
broke up the whole show in the dim
ing room because he had ordered some
thing which she did not like. Drawing
herself up very erect, she exclaimed In
a shrill, angry voice:
Are these our breakfast?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
RniI.xax Mill SERVING

| Said a local traffic officer THE rail-
roads maintain that at present they are
underpaid by at least $15,000,G0O per year.
Their complaint is not against the stan
dard of measuring such mail service as
| is paid for, but that a very large amount
of servie is demanded for which the ma
ton makes no payment whatever
Such is the purport of statement
made recently by the railway mail pay
committee of the 264 principal American
railroads with over 21s,O00 miles of line.
| This committee was appointed by the
railways to present their plea for in
| creased compensation to the congress
sional committee of inquiry of which
| former Senator Jonathan r. Bourne of
Oregon is chairman
Several hearings have been held by
the committee. The postoffice depart
ment was represented by Second Assis-
tant Postmaster General Stewart and the
| interstate commerce commission by Prof.
Max o. Lorenz. associate statistician.
The railroads have now planned to place
their case before the public and 1t is in
accordance with that plan that the state
ment is issued by their committee. The
statement follows:
| Ito carry the peoples mail quickly
safely and frequently is a social obli-
cation which the railroads freely con-
cede 1t is a service voluntarily per-
| formed, for no law compels railroad
company to carry mails unless 1t con-
tracts TO do so. The courts hold, how
ever, that if the railroads so contract,
they must do SO on terms named by the
government.
Though surrounded by these anoma-
lous conditions, the railroads have with
out stint placed their resources at the
disposal of the nation to develop the
Transportation of mails to the highest
possible state of efficiency. This SER
vice has been paid for at price fixed
by the government, a price ffom which
the carriers have had no appeal.
The United States government in
1872 paid the railways $51 .69I.3i i.49 fol
carrying mail This was about 2o.95 PEI
cent of all postal revenues. In 1901 ths
railways had received "a per cent of thu
/ postal revenues. In the same year, 1901
the Joint committee to investigate the
postal service" of which Senator Wolcot
was chairman, reported to Congress IL,
opinion that "the prices now paid to thu
ralroads for the transportation of ths
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
NO "CHARITY HORsE-

Lewis Edwin Thesis in Leslie's weekly.
In looking over the list of injuries one
is sturck by the absence among so many
baseball men, of any cases of charley
horse" The bonester' was asked about
this.
'Oh," said he. charley horse is
newspaper word Every time a ball player
gets lame the sporting editors say he
has the charley horse Now, " been
treating baseball players for eighteen
years, and in all that time have seen only
two cases of charley horse. The first
case was brought in here II years ago by
Jimmy McAleer-now of the Boston Red
Sox-and he had it bad. I've seen only
one case since. Charley horse was so
named because the horses that pulled the
korse cars used to get lame on the cob
hles, and couldn't use one foot, which
simply dragged after them. That was the
way Jimmy MoAleer came in here, drag
ging one foot
what about the pitchers?" the bone
setter was asked.
'Wen." he explained. "ss you may
imagine. the pitchers come in her with
bum arms. The straight ball pitchers
throw their arms out and strain the ten
dons in the shoulder. The curve ball
pitcher catches it In the elbow. The mus
cles with which he curves his ball, by
twisting the hand and the wrist. are
based at the elbow and get misplaced.
I've got them spotted. Send me pitcher
| never saw and by feeling Of his arm
and shoulder l can tell you the kind
of ball he specializes in, whether it is
straight curved, or what not. The Held
ers catch it in the knee caps
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

other nations of CentEal America
looking to conventions similar to that
with Nicaragua. This country is will
ing to help the little republics out of
their difficulties, but it will do SO only
upon request Nicaragua felt the need
of strong hand to guide its wavering
course, and made an. appeal to the
United States. This appeal was re-
eieved in the spirit in which it was
made, and -protectorate will be
established.
The treaty with Nicaragua as form
ulated by Mr.. Bryan contained the
general terms of the Platt amendment
to the measure assuming the guard
ianship of Cuba. The Nicaraguan COM
pact, as it stands at present, stipu-
lates that the government of Mica
ragua consents that the United States
may exercise the right to intervene to
protect the independence Of Mica
ragua
While entirely suitable to the pres
ent situation, fear is felt that these
conditions might become embarrass-
ing in the future, and for this reason
they will be slightly modified. Mica
raguas application to the Washing
ton government is gratifying. 1t goes
far to refute the oft-repeated state
ment that the United States is hated
by all Latin American countries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

mails are not excessive Yet in 1901 the
Postms ster General. by administrative
order, reduced railway mail pay by near
" $1,000. .OO0-about 10 per eent-and Con-
gress cut off about per cent more by
reductions in rates of pay for carrying
the mails and for the use of postal cars
The railroads maintain that at pres
ent they are underpaid by at least sle,-
0o0,oo0 per year II is their belief taat
fair adjustment would require that the
government should pay the railroads ior
all services which they render
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Rrsiness Flnnrishinr

Business in Birmingham is in -four
ishing condition. said d. NJ. Drennen Of
the Drennen company. as he stood in front
Of his place of business. at the corner OF
Second avenue and Twentieth street, yes
terday.
''our business has been particularly
large this summer. and as far as / can
learn the Birmingham merchants gener-
ally are doing exceptionally weH. Just
look at these crowded streets. Birming-
ham had the appearance of being a pros
porous city five years ago. but it is grow
ing very fast and everything today sug-
gests the full fedged metropolis"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
EARLY Fall Trade

I'm spite of the talk few months ago
of tight money this has been a summer
of considerable business activity said
l.. T. Truesdale of Chicago.
July has been a brisk month in busi-
ness and August viii be even a better
month. Great crops are assured and with
the crops as a basis nothing can stop the
wheels of progress. We will have an early
fall trade and there will be something like
an old time solid boom.
IF there were eroakers in this country
a few months ago-men croaling about
tariff revision and democratic dominance
in Washington-they have now disap-
peared. Prosperity talk is about all one
will hear in the coming MONTHS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

From the Chicago Tribune.
''Hewligus, I'd ask you to go out and
lunch with me, but you always make
too much noise when you eat.
I'm lending you this money, Squal-
lop, because | can afford to lose 1t II
you ever pay me-"
..Yer husban' is nice lookin man,
Miz I.arril<ins, but he must have picekd
you up when 1t was dark
you wouldn't be a badssort of fellow,
Smykns If you could break yourself of
the habit of buzzing a man when he
wants to work.
Il think ! must have met you some-
where; your face is familiar In fact
it's too blamed familiar"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
SOCIAL DISTINCTION

From an EXCHANGE.
A Washington clubman was ciceron-
ing a friend from the west through the
social whirl of the national capital
"Who," asked the westerner, indicat-
ing a big, good looking fellow at one
of the clubs, lis that distinguished
person.
That" replied the Washingtonian in
the gayest of tones. lis Louis the
Fourteenth"
Don't be absurde exclaimed the
friend What do you mean?"
"Well his name is Louis, and he Is
always invited when, without him, there
would be 13 at the table,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
EASILY EXPLAINED.

isaoii<I t-NflAlNED.
The old gentleman has reached the aze
of 80 years.
Observe that he is hale and hearty
Does the old gentleman smoke?
Yes.
Does the old gentleman drink whisky?
Yes.
lie has been careful about his food, of
course?
No, he has always eaten anything lie
wanted particularly pie.
But he must have taken regular exer-
else and paid some attention to hygiene?
No more than the average person does.
Then how in the dickens did he man.
age to live so long?
BY sheer good look, the way most peo-
pie manage to do 1t who live a long
time.
WHICH is TRULY SCIENTIFIC.
'T thought you said Tompkins was an
omniverous readerR'
so I did,
"Pshaw. why, he hasn't even read
| David Copperfield.' +"
Il forgot to tell you that he confines
his reading to a single subject"
Some branch of science?"
"Yes, baseball"
THE ONLY WAY TO FLY.
Il thought you said you were going in
| tor aviating?
mo, I'm going up for it,
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
August Wenther

I'VE have had a very hot summer IN
Jones' valley, but August will be pleas
ant" said a goosebone prohphet. we
will have warm, dry days and cool
nights My prediction is that very few
August days will be uncomfortable on
account of humidity.
This month of July will be recalled
as a record breaker in heat. 1t has
been just the thing for the crops. Ala
bana will have great crops this year
beIieev it will make a new high rec
ord In corn production and cotton will
go ahead of last years big crop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
AMERICANS LOVE POWER

From The First Voyage Over by The
odore Dresser, in the August Century.
The American the average American,
am sure, loves power, the ability to dc
something, far more earnestly than he
loves mere living. He wants to be an Of
fcer or director of something, a poet
anything you please for the sake OF being
it, not for the sake Of living.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
Irrigation Necessnrx

'The most important question of all in
truck gardening is irrigation and this ap-
plies right here in Jefferson county, too.
said E. p Allan, who has had much ex-
perienee not only here, but in Texas.
"The soil here is peculiar one. 1t
gets thirsty very quickly. Now, truck
growing for profit, is too big a PROPOSE
tion to take the gamble of one success
in FIVE years season, showers and all
things else being favorable The only
way to be absolutely sure that your labor
and investment gets good return is by
irrigation. True, this involves a rather
| heavy first expense but II properly
done, it will last for years, and will
prove very profitable, and no other plan
will
"The very best way is to prepare the
ground Is with underground tile piping,
perforated connected up, but with cut
offs at convenient points. Water may
be secured by drilling from 100 to 300
feet. A gasoline engine and a windmill
attached to a pump will lift the water
to a 10000 gallon tank. When the mill
doesn't do the pumping, the gasoline
engine will lift 5000 gallons of water
for 10 cents worth of gasoline. l am
using such a plant now for other pur-
poses; so | know.
The vegetables that would prove most
profitable are early radishes, cucumbers,
tomatoes, cabbage, beans and onions.
Celery can be grown here as fine as the
very best, and the prices that could be
obtained would make the cultivation very
profitable. Irish potatoes do not do so
well as other crops. and yet in trucking
one would plant a general all-round
crop. Yes, sir, irrigation is the key to
profitable trucking, and by and by you'll
see it in general use all over this fer
tile valley"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
CANADIANS AS HOME BUILDERS

From III Canada Were To Annex the
United States, by James Davenport
Whelpley. in the August Century.
There are in Canada today about 1,500,-
900 families, and only about 1900 of these
are without a dwelling to themselves
great record of a home building nation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
a coNrINrous LOOK.

Il saw Miss Plumper on the beach yes
terday in a decidedly abbreviated bathing
suit, but ] only looked at her once"
Il understand You didn't take your
eyes off until she disappeared for the
dav.n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
FASTEST SWIMMING STROKE

l.. De b. Handley in the Metropolitan
Magazine.
1t is Just decade since the first de-
scription of the crawl since the first
description of the crawl swimming
stroke came to us from Australia and
caused our racing men to take up It's
study, but the 10 short years have COM
pletely revolutionized the art of ma
tation in this country. A striking Illus
tration of what the crawl has done for
us may be found in the comparasion
of our national records, as they were
before it's advent. and as they now
stand.
1t may be added. too, that we have
only begun to appreciate the full possi-
bilftes of the new stroke. The attitude
of many experts toward it, who main
tained in the past and still maintain,
that it is too punishing on the muscu-
lar system to be used over long courses,
has deferred a number of the leading
distance swimmers from adopting it,
But of late a few bold spirits have
tackled tests of endurance with 1t. and
done so well that it seems only ques-
tion of time before 1t finds universal
favor for all around work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
A MISTAKE.

"Dilks says he likes to be taken at his
face value.'
THAT being the case, he ought not to
look like 80 cents"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Mr.. Bryan says he doesn't want Mrs.
Bryan to act as bartender and serve
drinks in their home Talk like that al
ways makes great hit on the chautau-
qua circuit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
PROOF OF IT.

DO you think the classics help us?
Eyes, indeed threw a volume of
Ciceros orations at cat once and got
good nights 8 rest"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29


SWATi
Alternating currant pie;
First currant. then fly
Swatl-Chicago Tribune.
Ely in mothers butter DISH
Wait minutel Make wish
Swat.-Bufalo News.
Fly upon the soup dish rim;
He will soon be jim the swim
Swatl-Scranton Tribune-Repubiican.
Fly upon your slice of bread
If he wipes his feet you're dead
Swat,-Houston Post.
Fly upon the baby's nosei
Land on him before he goes
Swatl-Orange Leader.
Fly upon your dish of fruit;
Hit him quick or he will scoot-
Swat,-Kansas City Star.
Fly once led me quite a chase,
Broke two mirrors and vase
Swat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Alabama crops are in fine condition.
There will be a great cotton crop and also
large corn crop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Evidence accumulates that Senator
Falls demand for Intervention in Mexico
is not entirely disinterested.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

At last accounts the Vanderbilt board
was still holding fast to that Carnegie
donation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Chief Kohler lost out in cleveland. and
his golden rule method of treating
prisoners has been succeeded by the or
dinarY copper plan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Congressman are getting used to the
heat of Washington and some of them go
so far as to say that the days as well as
the nights are pleasant in the nations
ca Difal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Talk about paternalism! In Germany
longer than six minutes and no long dis
tanee conversation longer than nine min
nj as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES

GETTING CLOSE TO NATURE
This is an interesting moving picture
of frog culture"
Yes and if it were talking moving
picture, we might even hear the frogs
eroak"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

The tango garter is being displayed
in window of a Birmingham depart
ment store. 'Tis we'll worth a look
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

L is quite likely that the pestiferous
Japs are being credited with more To-
menting than they are actually capable
of in Mexico.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
"NEvER GIVE ALL TcE HEART"

BY William Butler Yeats
Never give all the heart. for love
VIII hardly seem worth thinking OF
To passionate women, IL it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss
For everything that's lovely Is
But everything that's lovely is
But a brief dreamy, kind delight.
o. never give the heart outright
For they for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their heart up to the play,
And who can play il we'll enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with lovo?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For lie gave all his heart and lost ~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

The price of gasoline in Texas has
been advanced 2 cents a gallon. Standard
Oil is wasting no time in getting back
its s50o,OOO
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Governor Slizer says C. T. Murphy is
responsible for the Binghamton fire AN
other case of giving a dog a bad name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

Mulhall says he wouldn't get in touch
with Murphy Murphy was probably too
busy in the touch line for himself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
IN ACCORD.

DO Bilks and his wife agres9
"on one subject"
And what is that?''
"The fact that they never should have
married.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
AT ANY BEACH

One way to keep cool in hot weather is
to read Ibsen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29
washington bureau. ~ HibOs build

Washln gton buTeaul 20 1llDDS DUlI'-
sng.
European bureau, Henrietta street
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms AZ te
30, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business ofIice'
Tribune building, Chicago. The j. G.
Beckwith Special Agency. agents roT.
eign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-29

The Wilson's are naturally much in the
spotlight these days-President Wilson
and Ambassador Wilson. But Secretary
of Labor Wilson is occupying back
seat for the time being in order that the
others may have the right of way on
the Mexican question.