Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1913-08-08
Phone No. 81
DISSERTATION ON CANNES.
Tazcwell DOgs-The Town Sar-
geant, Cur-few Laws-Inter-
esting Historical Data, Etc.

esting Historical Data, Etc.
(By the Editor of the Gossip Depart
ment.
Dogs have been living hard in
this town of late. The street
cars have killed a few, too lazy to
get out of the way: Sergeant
Thompson has been enforcing
the law and several have been
killed and others hauled before
the Mayor and fined the maxi
mum amount. There is fine
of $500 imposed upon every dog
caught on the streets after dark,
and the Sergeant has been en-
forcing this dog law.
Itmay not be generally known
that there is a curfew dog law
on the statute books of this town.
There is, and the fact is here
made public for the benefit of
all law abiding dogs who value
their lives, or have respect for
the law. This law presumes
that all well-meaning dogs should
be at home after certain hours,
and that their presence on the
streets after these prescribed
hours is prima facie evidence Of
evil intent. Hence, the cur few law
is intended to reduce the number
of ours and hence, it is called a
cur-few law. CT is said that the
same law applies to boys in this
and other cities of note.) Hence,
when the Sergeant meets one of
these night-walking CANNES
after the evening shadows have
gathered around the peaceful
homes of the city, he politely in
quires as to his business, occupa-
ton, family connections, etc. j,
and then proceeds as the eX-
igencies of the case seem to
demand. He finds that it is nee
essary to be cautious and to ex-
ercise good judgment, but that
much dog-ged persistence IS
necessary also.
He is firm but lenient, withal.
When he cannot persuade a dog
to go home and behave himself,
he tries to drive him home, US
ing old bottles, pieces of coal,
kindling wood, old boots, rocks,
or just any old thing he can lay
his hands on to pelt the cur and
speed him on his homeward
journey. ono pun on the word
"pelt." y If, however, the canine
refuses still to be persuaded or
coerced, and shows his teeth,
which he sometimes does, then
the dog is gently but positively
held up, tied with a rope, and
anchored to the engine-house,
where bed and board is provided
for the night. (Thc board" is
sometimes used to smack the
dog with.) The owner is prompt
~ notified next day, and asked
to hand over two bones, when,
if said two bones are forth
coming the proper entry is made
on the Court records, and the
culprit parolled in charge of the
owner, who invariably gets mad
and swcars vengeance against
the Sergeant and cusses the
"dog-gond sorry dog" too.
If said two bones are not forth
coming. the culprit is solemnly
sentenced, led forth, and at some
time between the hours Of sun
rise and sunset on the day there
of following the sentence, ex-
ecuted according to the ancient
form, namely, by shooting
through some vital part of the
CANNES anatomy until he is dead,
dead, dead! Two dogs have been
thus transported to the boneyard
recently by the Sergeant, and he
has his eye on others.
Sergeant Thompson finds his
duties along this line increasing
and ought to have an increase of
salary or an Assistant Super
lntendent of the Dog EXtermin-
ating Department, for the in
dustry is just in its infancy.
Dogs and sorry dogs at that
are multiplying at a rate far in
excess of the increase in popula-
ton, and it is necessary to in
crease the number of dog-killers
in the community. Let there be
a bond issue and an electric
chair constructed to facilitate
the work of destruction of the
providers by night and the NUS
ances by day, as it were. At
any rate, the good work must
go on. Let the Sergeant keep
the chambers of his SO full to
the muzzle, and his pockets filled
also, and if necessary, be sup
piled with additional arsenal
in the shape Of a double-barreled
shotgun so that he can "take
nem running as well as settin. Z"