davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
DINNER GUESTS GO HUNGRY
Aged Royal Host Slept and Etiquette
Would Not Permit That He
Should Be Awakened.

Prince Leopold, the recently de-
ceased regent of Bavaria, some weeks
before his fatal Illness, fell asleep at
dinner party Immediately after the
first course. His guests were re
strained by etiquette from waking
him. but continued their conversation
in low tone. The servants did not
dare to continue serving the dinner
The prince soon commenced to
snore. and slept on for two hours, dur
Ing which time no one allowed himself
to leave his place. The guests sat
famished in the same room with a
marvelously appointed dinner Finally
Prince Leopold awoke. He took hur-
rfed glance round the table and saw
only q number of perfectly correct
faces successfully pretending to have
noticed nothing. Persuaded that his
slight lapse had passed completely I'M
remarked, he said quietly, Now let us
go and take coffee" The guests rose
accordingly and proceeded to the
drawing room. They we're served with
coffee, liqueurs. cigars The prince.
thoroughly refreshed by his sleep. in
dulged In a great deal of excellent
conversation. which lasted till mid
night. The party then broke up, and
the guests departed. fanished with
hunger.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Keeper of Secrets of Kings.

Lord Knollys, who is retiring, after
having been private secretary to King
George and the late King Edward.
has received many tempting offers to
write his autobiography. but. needless
to say has steadfastly resisted them
all. An enterprising publisher, from
the United States once ran him down
during his vacation, and placed a
blank check before him, inviting him
to fill it in for any sum he liked to
name in return for book of no fewer
than $4,000 words.
My terms would be five million dol
lars" Lord Knollys remarked, quietly.
The publisher gasped. Good gra-
cious, sir, are you serious?" he asked.
quite" Lord Knollys rejoined, and
then. with one of his merry wrinkles
of his eyes, he said:
Would it not be worth good deal
more to you il had to say frankly
all know?"
The publisher realized the force of
the argument, and was bound to ad-
init that it would be hopeless task
to induce an indiscretion on the part
of the veteran courtier.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
HANDS ITcHED AND BURNED

Abbotsford, Wis.-"My son had &C.
zema on his hands for about one year.
The eczema started with rash. His
hands were sore SO he could not close
them, and when he wet his hands they
hurt him so he could hardly wash. His
hands itched and burned just terrible
and If he would scratch them, they
would break out into sores. He could
not get any rest or sleep, and his
hands looked quite bad.
I'VE had medicine and salve and It
kept getting worse all the time. got
some Cuticura Soap and Ointment.
and after washing his hands with the
Cuticura Soap and putting some Of the
Cutlcura Ointment on two times a day
and tying cloths on them for about six
months they got we'll and have not
broken out since. Cuticura Soap and
Ointment cured him entirely" (sign-
ed) Mrs. Lawrence Kiehl, Feb. IS.
1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample Of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura. Dept L, Boston"
Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Lessons in Housekeeping,

A young girl of fourteen whom
know plans and cooks the dinner at
home one evening of each week, and
her mother stays away from the kitch.
en- entirely on this afternoon. The
girls father gives her small amount
OF money in the morning before he
leaves home, and she does the market
ing with this sum. The event Is an
ticipated with great pleasure by all
the members Of the family as we'll as
by the little cook. and the nourishing
and appetizing dinner she serves 10
certainly surprisingly good.
Home Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Almost the Speed Limit.


NO man is a coward to himself"
said the Civil war veteran, oracularly.
AT Chattanooga one of the men in
my company left early in the action.
and no one saw him till after the bat
tie when he appeared in camp I'M
wounded and unabashed. Some of the
boys accused him of running away,
but he wouldn't admit it.
: 4 only retreated in good order he
declared.
II heard of the matter. and few
days later asked him il he had any
idea how fast he had retreated.
Well, III tell you. cap'n.' he said.
If Id been at home, and going after
the doctor. folks that see me passin'
would have thought my wife was right
sick =" Youths Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
"THE CLIMATE OF
WESTERN CANADA"
AN IMPORTANT FACTOR IN CAN.
ApA'S IMMIGRATION.

A letter dated February 2. 1913, pub.
lished in Peoples Voice" column In
Swedish paper. while dealing with
other conditions in Canada, such as
grain yield, social conditions, ETC.,
says: I'VE have had fine weather un-
til New Years. when some SNOW fell
and it was cold for few days, but
during the past few days we have
lovely weather again." The writer,
who lives near Davidson, Sask., says
they got from 80 to 80 bushels OF wheat
per acre. 60 bushels Of oats and about
20 bushels of fax. All homesteads are
taken in the vicinity, but wild land
can be bought at reasonable figures.
Word from Alberta gives the infor-
nation that up to the 22nd OF February
there were eighty-four and a quarter
hours Of bright sunshine, but that did
not come up to the corresponding
month of 1912, when the meteorolog-
zeal department registered 120 hours
for the 20 days.
February was exceptionally fine all
through, but 1912 went one better, and
was a glorious month However, TAX
ing the weather generally throughout
the northern hemisphere, February has
been marked by serious and severe
disturbances resulting in heavy storms,
bad weather and low temperatures in
many other parts.
The coolest temperature this week
occurred on Tuesday morning. when
the thermometer registered 23.5 below,
and the coolest Wednesday was IL be-
low. During the last fortnight of
February and 81 hours of bright sum
shine spread it's glorious rays over
Edmonton, and this out Of possible
total of about ten hours Is something
to talk about.-Advertisem
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Street Ethics in Chicago.

A law has been enacted in Prussia
which makes 1t a prison offense for
any one to fail to answer a cry for
help or to go to the rescue of per-
son in danger when it lis possible to
do SO without endangering ones own
life Such law would not be amiss
in Chicago. Not only ethics, but or
binary decency and manliness are too
frequently forgotten here. Let thug
assault person in the street and the
majority of men who happen along.
the person assaulted, will scurry away
SO as not to be dragged into the affair.
Let person be injured by street
car half the people who witnessed the
accident will refuse to give their
names to be called upon as witnesses
by the victim
Whether all the ethics of citizenship
can be enforced effectively through
laws and ordinances may be doubted,
yet the legal declaration of some pri-
mary duties would help to develop a
conscience In such matters now appar-
emily sadly lacking Chicago Tribune
How Long Will the Women Stand EN-?
Il am a mean man" confessed the
Erratic Thinker. My father bore the
same unenviable reputation, and had
an uncle who served term in the pen
itentiary and was twice mentioned for
the legislature. So no one need be sur
prised when | remark that perusal of
the dry goods advertisements causes
me to wonder how soon corsets will
become so long that their wearers will
be obliged to roll them up around
the ankles to keep from treading on
them? "-Kansas City Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
How Long Will the Women Stand EN-
Goinu Too Far.

Mrs. Gallup is an estimable lady
whose hobby is house decoration. One
day last spring Mrs. Gallup was care.
less enough to drink glass of red ink,
believing it to be claret She was
naturally alarmed when she discov-
cred her mistake, but no harm came
to her. The doctor who was summoned,
upon hearing what had happened. dry
ly remarked to her:
Mrs. Gallup there is such thing,
you know, as pushing this rage for
decorated interiors too far"
No day is long enough to waste any
of it nursing a crouch.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
A Negative Merit.

She-Have you any Strawberries?
Dealer-Yes'm. Here they are. q
quarter a box.
She-Goodness! They're miserable
looking, and SO green.
Dealer-I know, mum, but there
amt enough in box to do you any
harm.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Tn. Cause

George is raising mutton-chop
whiskers.
That accounts for his sheepish ex-
preston"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

And some men talk to themselves
because they like an appreciative au-
dience.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
His Business.

There is one man who can he safe
always in taking his customers at
their face value"
Who might he be?"
"The beauty doctor"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Her Weapon Gone.

Hewitt hear that you wife has
lost her voice.
Jewett-Yes; she is non-combat-
ant now.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

The only people who have no re-
aret for anything they ever said are
those who have never said anything of
Importance
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Who's Doing the raikino7

"A business man should never take
his stenographer out to lunch
Why not9"
oh, it causes talk"
"Of course it causes talk, but II
the business man will abstain from
cocktails. he won't talk to her half as
much as he might"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets first put up
~ years ago. They regulate and invigur.te
stomach, liver and bowels sugsr-coated
tiny gnnules. Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

Mrs. Windows Soothing syrup FOR Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces innamma
ton allays pain cures wind collie, sc bottle. ~
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
USE ALIENS roor-rasr

the Antiseptc powder to be shaken into the
shoes for tired aching feet. 1t takes the sting
out of corns and bunions and makes walking
a delight. Sold everywhere. 26c Refuse sub
stitutes. For FREE trial package. address A.
s. GNmsted, La Roy, N. Y Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

Politics is good game. but a
mighty poor business.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

sEEDs-Alfalfas 6; timothy, blue grass 4
cane e; sweet cl0ver49. Farms for sale s. rent
on crop paym'ts. j. Mulhall, 500 City, la.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24


my breath was
short and l had
chills and back
ache. / took the
pills about a year
ago and have had
no return of the
palpitations. Am
now 63 years old.
able to do lots Of
manual labor. am
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Cook and the Cuckoo.

Mistress Bridget. what ails the
cuckoo clock? l haven't heard it to-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

The two most important needs In .
woman's life seems to be love aud
money.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

Women who spend most of their
time trying to improve their COM
plexions never think of the old fash
toned method Of stsaming It over .
washtub.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

JUu6o MI1101. manual IaUOT, AN
we'll and hearty and weigh about
200 pounds. feel very grateful that
found podds Kidney Pills and you
may publish this letter If you wish. l
am serving my third term as Probate
Judge Of Gray Co. Yours truly,
PHILIP MILLER. Cimarron, Kan.
Correspond with Judge Miller about
this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills. SOC. per box at
your dealer OF Dodds Medicine Co..
Buffalo. N. Y. Write for Household
Hints. also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
cipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent free.
Adv
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

Many a successful man makes a
noise like big wind.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24

Bridget Well. mum, there do be a
strange cat around the kitchen an
likely the poor bur-rd's afeared to
come out.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
Both True.

81 heard quite paradoxical remark
the other day"
What was it?"
"rhat though there is no excuse
for crime. there is generally war
rant for it,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
JUDGE CURED, HEART TROUBLE.

1 took about 6 boxes of Dodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which had suffered for 5 years. I
had dizzy spells. my eyes pulled,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-04-24
FITTING Fate.

Fitting Fate.
"They are going to muzzle the pro-
truding hatpin now"
I'm glad it's stuck
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03

NEW YORK.-A new woman mer-
~ chant has just moved from down
town into the theatrical district of
West Forty-second street She Is
Mary ]. McShane. who lived next door
to Paddy" DIVERS where. at No. S
Madison street, she did a thriving
business for thirty-seven years, bought
the land occupied by her store and
reared family of ten children.
I'm tell you how did it all, she
said the other day. 81 was child in
Cork, Ireland, when my father was
buying gold lace and the discarded
trappings Of the English officers who
were suddenly ordered to India and
other parts of the empire. He was
such fine. square man that he had
friends everywhere. AS the officers
changed their barracks. my father not
only bought all the regimentals and
supplies. but got the gowns and dra-
peries OF the ladies', SO that | instinct
lively absorbed & knowledge OF values.
When / came to New York in 1872
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
SOME HINTS ON CHINCH BUG
Experience Of Illinois Agricultural Ex.
pertinent Station May Be of In
terest to Farmers.

The experience of the Illinois az
ricultural experiment station with
chinch bugs discovered in the spring
of 1912, may prove Of great value to
farmers who may be troubled by the
pest this year. Last spring the Illi-
nois station found that the chinch bugs
survived the winter in excellent con-
dition and on April 25 were scattering
on the wing to lay their eggs. The
escape OF the bugs on foot, out of fields
OF small grain at harvest time, is
thought to be best prevented by sur
rounding each field with a line Of
thick, viscid, road oil, with post holes
beside it some SO feet apart. Such q
line can be mada and kept effective
long enough to catch virtually all the
bugs in field at a minimum expense
Of IS cents mile per day. Coal tar
may be used for the purpose where
road oil can be obtained, but it must
be much more frequently renewed to
keep it effective. A well-made dusty
furrow, with post holes in the bottom.
may serve a temporary purpose in
very dry weather, but Is made useless
by rain Chinch bugs may be killed
or corn, without injury to the plant, by
4 tobacco preparation (black-leaf ~
greatly diluted with weak soapsuds.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
Ever Hear Of Fish Scales on an Alto Horn7

d ITTSBURGH, PA.-Who put the
/ Bismarck herring in Harry Bak-
er's hornf City Hall threatens to be
rocked by the controversy that has
arisen over this simple and almost
personal question. At least that's
what the gossipers say. To tell the
truth Harry refuses to be interviewed
when the reporters attempt to get him
to tell the details.
Now Mr.. Baker may be the innocent
victim of irresponsible and unrelent-
ing scandal mongers And again MI.
Baker may have incriminated himself
by simply refusing to be interviewed
on the subject. At any rate the tale
remains undenied. and In that event
1T is too good to let slip by without
making some mention Of it
Harry Baker is one Of the crew that
guides the destinies of the mayors
office. In this capacity ID Ia one OF
Harry's provinces to see that the gang
that congregates about that sanctum
every afternoon behaves itself with
proper decorum while waiting for the
summons to enter the holy Of holes
where the mayor sits with his feet on
the mahogany desk.
AS a further detail OF this tale, Har-
~ is credited with being an artist on
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
Police "ReuuIars' Mourn Their Vanished Whiskers

of Central police station:
Stay sober or lose your bush"
In spite of the appalling tendency OF
she times, the unfortunate has been
found who finds a crumb of comfort
in the change. Jacob Bush, who lost
his two weeks ago as the result OF a
too hasty expenditure of a lavish
gratuity and the consequent night in
a cell, declares that business has i'm.
proved wonderfully since he was de-
proved Of his whiskers.
IVY, can go right over the same
beats they chased me off of last
month";" he boasts, "and they never
know me. That's what Mr.. Potts
funny stuff did for me. can make a
touch right now off of men who run
me away month ago This smooth.
face work amt so bad, after ALL
"All 1t takes is little sense. Next
month I'm going to tell 'em I'm vic.
tim of a wreck. These cuts on my
face look good enough for that"
But Jacob Bush, known as the in.
durable optimist Of the Eagle lodg-
ing house, is alone in his Joy. Those
who are not so resourceful as he still
mourn their vanished whiskers
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
SHADES FOR ELECTRIC LIGHT
Pretty Paper Affairs Can Easily Be
Made-Flower Patterns Much
in Favor.

Green cartilage paper should be cut
into circular shape with small cir
Gle cut from the center and section
cut from the side, so that when the
ends are joined it will make the shade
conicalshaped. Next before joining
the pieces. draw pattern upon the
edge. cutting it out with sharp knife,
practically making stencil pattern
This is venetian paper work. and II
one is provided with very sharp
knife, manicure scissors and a small
stiletto the work can be quickly done.
The idea is to have the design per
fectly smooth. Back this with me-
dunn thin red paper, using thin
paste to Join them together. Photo
graph paste is excellent for this pur'
pose, and a roller is helpful In smooth.
ing the papers.
Do not bend the paper to form the
cube shape until the paste is dry. Roll
1t gently to prevent 1t from breaking.
Join the edges and trim the lower ana
upper edge. II there is no brass globe
support upon the electric light bulb II
will be necessary to make wire tri-
angle across the top of the shade. Re
move the bulb, place the shade over It.
replace the bulb in the socket and the
shade is secure. For patterns there
are flower patterns and the conveD
tional stencils.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
New Yorks Second Hand Queen Moves Up Town

as a girl, / was ready to buy any
thing, knowing well that could sell
at good profit First | bought little
job lots of ornaments; then household
goods, until | took the contents or
entire tenement houses.
Presently / had the monopoly or
the best yearly hotel sales of the city
and was making money rapidly when
/ expanded into a still higher branch
of the business. The hotel men intro
duced me to representatives Of rich
New York families until began to
have the patronage Of the four hun
dred.'
1T may surprise lots of people to
know that thousands OF beautiful gar
ments are sold every year in New
York because families go into mourn.
ing or suddenly go to Europe. Mourn
ing means selling their colored
clothing. In Europe they want the
Paris styles, and so sell most OF their
wardrobes before leaving here. Then
thousands of families take apartments
and give up housekeeping in their
homes. / buy everything they have to
sell, from silks and satins to diamonds
and jewelry that no longer meet their
taste Others sell because they want
money. Few know how many people
meet with reverses in the course OF a
year Every day am receiving notes
to call at fine mansions to look over
the wardrobes and set a price"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
"The Lawn In Landscape Art"

II the landscape gardener had but
one feature to work with, he would
most certainly choose the lawn. 1t
constitutes the solid foundation upon
which the ornaments of the superstruc-
tHre are imposed. Unobstructive in
itself, 1t is taken for granted by the
man in the street. and its importance,
aye, its very presence, is overlooked.
The usefulness of greensward in
making nature more beautiful and
restful is particularly impressed upon
the soiourner in hot or dry climates.
Take most OF our own southern states
for instance, and In most localities it
is practically impossible to grow good
lawns. The long, hot dry summers
and the impoverished soils discourage
the grass and the possessor of fine
lawn is the proudest person on the
street Every weed is carefully re-
moved, the grass is kept short and is
rolled and watered with patience and
regularity.
Even then they cannot be sure Of a
lawn, and this is one of the main rea-
sons for the high board fences of Dixie
Land. Most every yard has its pro-
tecting fence, as much to hide the
nakedness of the soil as to keep out
trespassers. 1t takes fair shoulders
to wear low cut gowns and fences
prosper most where lawns are poor.
A yard without a lawn to finish It
of is as barren of beauty as q parlor
wiSout rug or carpet Other fea-
lures strike the vision more promi-
nently and really impress the observ-
er as being the chief beauty of the
scene, but take away the surround
ing lawn and the artistic effect will
be lowered much more than 1t would
be by the loss Of any other single
factor.
ANY comparatively homogeneous
green turf will have the same effect,
and Of course the smaller the scale Of
The lot, the finer and more carefully
finished the turf must be.
How is your lawn prospecting this
year? We trust that you did not for
get to spray the dandelions with sui
phate Of iron before they went to
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-07-03
Plan for a 1NEar Tester.

x shows one of the loose cross-sec
tons which are also of galvanized
iron. Y is the cup used in the tray.
Any timer can make the tray COM
plete for about 81. The tray can DO
used to good advantage in an incuba-
tor and its size and that of the rack
will depend upon the size Of the incu-
bator. After placing the kernels from
an ear into a cup, put the ear in the
corresponding square in the rack.
When through, fill the tray about half
full Of lukewarIn water and place it
in the incubator. Use very little heat
for the first "a hours, then draw OF
the water and set the regulator to
keep the heat at about 10 degrees
apply moisture al needed. In about
three days you will know which ears
will grow. There is no theory about
the use of a corn tester like this ]
have found it very practical and use
full.