Bisbee daily review., 1913-09-28
r < < E * g $ E < E E A BATCH OF SMILES x
k < * * * * < < * * *


 This is told of a PhIladaphian whose mother-in-law was alarmingly ' One night a physician who was attending her shook his head and said mpressyely:
 She has got to go to a hot climate. one" The son-in-,aw disappeared, but soon emerged from the cellar carry ing an axe. Handing it to the doc tor he exclaimed:
 Here Doc, you do it; I can't"
 T had known the old darkey for many years" the Bishop said, but il was the first time I had conducted service Tom could attend He was waiting for me at the yestry door when church was over. Well, Tom, how did you like the service?" l asked.
 "I liked yo' sermon fir rate Tom said, but I want sure bout what you calls dd service. suh- But l tell you. Bishop, I rig and fell with you every time'",
 T. T v
 Ore-Eyed Bill Plaster. long since. passed to his reward, moved suddenly from Texas to Arizona.
 How comes it Bill asked Mare Smith, now senator from Arizona, that you left Texas and came over here?'
 why. said Bill, ''IlI tell you, Marc. Its all on account Of a lawsuit. Every term of court I was pestered with a lawsuit. Always there was that durn lawsuit every blamed term, and just sloped to git rid of it.
 What lawsuit?'
 "Oh. Bill answered. "the same old lawsuit every time, They allus called it The Commonwealth of Texas agin Bill Plaster.
 The young lawyer had opened his office that very day and sat expect ant of clients. 4 step was heard out side. and the next moment man figure was silhOuetted against the eround-glass of the door. Hastily the legal fledgling stepped to his brand new telephone, and. taking down the receiver, gave every appearance or being deep in a busiHss conversation. "Yes NIT. s." he was saying, as the man entered, "I'll attend to that cor. poration matter for you. Mir. J. had me on the phone this morning anu wanted me to settle a damage sut but I mad to put him of, as I'm so busy with cases just nov But I'll trv to sandwich your matter in be- tween my other cases somehow les yes. All right. Goodbye. Hanging UP the receiver, he turned ! to his visitor. having as he thought 1 duly impressed him. Excuse me. sir" the man said, Cct | Tn, from the telephone company. 1 Eve come to connect up your instTu- ment."
 Pat had just finished chopping the sticks for the good lady, and she' benevolent soul, had asked him Whetn- | or he would prefer a cup of tea or a | drop of whisky. Sure I'll be takin a drop of the ,cratur. if ye don't mind said Pat. ! So she brought him a glass of whis- k and water.
 Pat tasted and seemed not very we'll pleased. Beggin' your pardon mum, end which did ye be after putin in the glass first, the whisky of the water? "The whisky first, of course, which ! is proper she replied "Ch. it'll be all right, then. I'll be | coming to the whisky by and by.
 % 2 2
 4 lady residing in Douglas has a l small daughter One morning this ! lady felt rather chilly after taking a | cold bath. and fearing a cold, took 1 q tablespoonful of whisiley. Small l daughter. running in shortly after ] yard asked to have her hair ribbon 1 tied. The lady reached over and tied l the ribbon. Small daughter turned | around sharply and said:- | Why, mother, you've been using | fathers perfume"