davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
Too Many Funerals,
Not Weddings Enough

HACKETTSTOWN. y. j.. May 22.-An
abundance of funerals, but q scarcity
of weddings. is worrying the Rev. DIR. s.
Travens Jackson. pastor of Trinity NJ.
E, Church. He blames the girls OF the
town for the situation.
II am kept fairly busy burying per-
sons" said the clergyman. but I still
have plenty of time which / would
gladly devote to marrying people Bu,
the young people don't come before me
for that purpose fast enough to suit,
Plenty Of persons are dying. but marry.
ing seems to be going out Of fashion. II
isn't a good sign at all. It's because the
girls expect too much nowadays"
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
COMPANY F WINS
MARYLAND SHOOT
HyattsviIIe Guard Organization
Victorious in Contest Held
At Annapolis Recently.

HYATTSVILLE, May 22-Official
records of the target practice Of the
First Battalion, First Infantry, Mary
land National Guard. held last week
at Saunders range. near Annapolis
show that Company F. the local COM
pany. scored the high average OF s9.A
per cent. leading all four companies.
Company A. under command Of Capt
D. John Markey, high company in the
State last year. was close second.
with S7.3 per cent. The highest mark
made in the State brigade last year was
made by Company A. Of the First
Regiment, and was 7s52. The other
companies in the First Battalion are
NJ. Of Annapolis. and L. Of Laurel.
Company A is from Frederick.
The next meeting Of the Civic I'm
provement Association Of Mt. Rainier
will be held in Tovey's Hall on June S.
The Hyattsville fire department will
hold a lawn party on June 2.
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
TURTLE GERMS FAIL
TO AID LOCAL FOLK
Friedmann's Washington Pa
tients Show No Improve
ment-Breaks Word.

friedman tuberculosis patients in
Washington have shown practically no
Improvement or decline since being in
oculated with the turtle serum" treat
ment. This was the message today from
the George Washington Hospital, where
DR.. Friedman gave his Washington
demonstration, and where since then at
intervals the patients have been under
observation.
DR.. Friedman declared before leav-
ing Washington that he would return in
six weeks to observe his patients the
second time.
He has not returned.
Nor has he written.
Hospital officials expected that he
would be back about two weeks ago,
at the end of the six weeks, but 1t was
stated positively today that no word
had come from him as to further treat
ment or observation.
Some patients have reported slight
changes in condition. but taking the en-
tire group, the hospital asserts that
there is practically no change either for
the better or the worse.
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
Protests Using Boat
As Target for Navy

That the battleship Oregon should be
given an honored old age. rather than
be pounded to pieces as a naval practice
target, is the substance of a strongly
worded letter sent to the Navy Depart
nent today by Congressman Sinnott of
Oregon.
He recalls the services of the famous
ship, and points out the place which has
been given Old Ironsides as a relic Of
American naval history. He suggests
that II a practical use must be found
for her. the Oregon be turned over TO
the State whose name she bears. for
employment as a training ship for the
naval militia.
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
Aunt Jemima's Self-Rising Buckwheat Ec
Special Price, per pkg. ~
Shoe Polish
BUY THESE SUPERIOR
MIXED TEAS

Guaranteed to please you.
Satisfy yourself that you get
just as good tea at our prices
as you are now getting else
where at much higher prices.
One package will convince
YOU.
Mosque Brand Mixed Tea,
q lb. .1Oc
Mosque Brand Mixed Tea,
u lb. .18c
Afternoon Brand, 4 lb. .13c
Afternoon Brand, 4 lb. .23c
Boned Chicken, enough for
big dish of chicken salad.
Per can .33c
LiDby's Potted Ham, for
sandwiches .14c
Libby's Potted Chicken, for
sandwiches .14e
NanSen Sardines .........1Oc
Marie Elizabeth Sardines. .12c
Sanitary Extra Quality Do
mestic Sardines, , for. =. &c
Olives SC and zoe
Spanish Red Pep
pers. .1Oc and 1sc
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
Southern Relief
Home Open May "a

The new home Of the Southern Relief
Association will be opened Saturday. at
1878 Thirty-first street northwest. Wis.,
itors will be admitted from u to Z
o'clock.
are expected to be in the receiving line
with Miss Mamie Randolph Heth. presi-
dent Of the Southern Relief Association.
The Washington times., 1913-05-22

Pet Milk, large, 3 for. Csc
Pet Milk, small can. 80. .4Hac
Peerless Milk, large can... Sc
Challenge Milk ..........1Oc
EARLE Milk .14c
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
124c & 15c
Draperies
63C

Consisting Of
yard-wide Silko-
lines, NJ q d r a 8,
S c r m. Swiss.
Burlap. and Imi-
tation Linen, in
light and dark
colorings.
The Washington times., 1913-05-22
Bryan Caught in Rain
And Is Soaked to Skin

Secretary of State Bryan was caught
In the rain while horseback riding last
night and was drenched to the skin. but
did not seem TO mind the experience.
He says rain has no terrors for him
and he will not permit 1t to interfere
with his daily ride.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Mr.. Merchant Do You
Advertise?

G. w. Post, the million are breakfast food manu-
facturer, at dinner gwen to his employees some
time ago. in response to toast to the success of his
foods, said: Gentlemen appreciate the delight
full compliment paid to our breakfast food, which,
of course merits your favor and the applause of the
world, but would not have you forget that the sue
of this venture is also keen compliment to the
science of advertising"
That's true, it proves what advertising will do. If
you will find some use for common white sand, and
advertise it extensively ond judciously, it will be as
a gold mine.
Why it is that merchants are afraid to venture out
in this line is hari to understand. Every business
man knows it pays to advertise. Every business
man knows millions have been made with some COM
mon article, not always necessity, but adver
tise- properly. Every business man knows that the
mos prosperous merchants the heaviest adverti-
serS; yet the average man does not seem to grasp
necessity.
You will be old and infrm, before trade will in
crease without the use of printers ink in some form
The personal testimonials of your few customes will
be long time reaching around the community.
Advertise, and get your personal workers band
enlarged and instead of half dozen or so families,
get dozens and treat them so well that they are
compelled to talk about your merchandise.
See here, Mr.: Merchant, to sum up you must
make your advertising an intelligent campaign,
planning with the same thought used in the selec-
ton of the merchandise
Advertise your goods and you will sell them as
sure two and two make four.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Real Cause Of Badness.

Coming in from East Liberty or
. train were two men who appar-
emily were old acquaintance and
who met in a jovial mood. Both
men were quite gray, but each had
luxuriant head of hair. Near
then sat stout party withs shin
ing dome that was almost destitute
of hirsute covering.
The two friends exchanged face
tious remarks about silvered locks,
then INDUCED in some pleasantries
about the thinning of the thatch,"
with casual references to doorknobs
and billiard balls, much TO the
amusement of the passengers, but
to the evident discontinue of the
baldheaded man.
The talk finally developed into an
argument on the cause of badness,
and after considerable jocularity
the par turned to the pearly pated
stranger, and one said:
"My friend and / have been dis
cussing the cause of badness, but
we can't seem to agree. Would you
mind telling US what you regard as
the real cause of baldness" !"
The stranger wheeled about, eyed
his questloners fercely and snorted:
Brains p-Pittsburg Gazette.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Chinese Worship Of Ancestors.

The - spiritual force that DOM
mates NFy class of society in Chi
ma is ancestor worship. In the Chi
nese religion there is no other that
can take its place for moment. A
man may or may not worship idols.
He may express his utter skeptic-
ism about them or profess belief in
them. No one cares what he
thinks. Let him, however, neglect
the worship of the dead and he is
looked upon and pointed to with
the bitterest scorn both by his own
relations and by his neighbors. The
worst taunt that the heathen can
hurl against the Christian, and the
one that stings him most, is the
sneering statement that he has no
ancestors.-New York Tribune.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
ALFALFA PROVERBS
BY Charles M. Carroll.


Alfalfa enriches the ground.
Alfalfa Is a drought resister.
Alfalfa is the best soil doctor.
Alfalfa adds humus TO the soil.
Alfalfa increases the milk flow.
Alfalfa is high in feeding value.
Alfalfa balances the corn ration.
Grow your protein-don't buy it.
Alfalfa sod grows larger corn crops
Alfalfa is the greatest of all subsoil
ers.
Alfalfa has no equal as a hog pas.
ture.
Alfalfa keeps stock In good condi.
ton.
Alfalfa should be grown on every
farm
An alfalfa field is a hogs idea of
heaven.
Fox tail is The greatest enemy of
alfalfa.
Growing alfalfa is good business
farming.
Alfalfa means more money and bet
ter homes.
Raise what you feed and feed what
you raise.
Alfalfa does things and never loafs
on the job.
Alfalfa with a fair chance always
makes good.
Alfalfa fills the hay NOW and pays
for the privilege.
Alfalfa is the cheapest snd best
Ted fQr. beet. cattle.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Too Great a Loss.

Whoever knows anything about
the small boy and his pride in his
first pair Of trousers viii recognize
the truth of a story the Philadel.
phia Ledger prints.
Tommy was at Sunday school in
his first real" clothes. a picture
of lot OF little angels was before
the class, and the teacher asked
Tommy if he would not ike to be
one.
"No, ma'am," replied Tommy
after Inspecting the picture.
''Not want to be an s1Fsl, Tom
N.Y. reproached sAe s.sdkr. fWhy
not ?"
"'Cause I'd have TO give up my
Hsx pant4" said Tommx saeaG. !.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
A STUDENT JOKE.
Conspiracy of Silence That Put the
Professor I'm a Panic.

Professor Elias LOOMS fer many
years occupied the chair OF astrono
my at Yale and was the author oi
the well known series of mathemat.
ical text books.
Professor Loomis repeated each
year to the junior class a course OF
lectures on physics. The lectures
were illustrated by experiments,
and in one on compressed air he
explained the principle of the7well
known air gun.
The students of each succeeding
class as they entered the room for
this particular lecture found on the
side of the room remote from the
platform a small target. , After ex-
planning the operation of the gun
Professor LOOMS was in the habit
of landing three of its projectiles
with mathematical accuracy in the
center of the bullseye.
The professor was always ap-
plauded for this feat, but his grim
face, covered by tightly drawn
skin of parchment hue, never show
ed the slightest sign of qualification
or recognition Of any kind. To him
it was apparently, only scientific
experiment to be exactly demon
strated.
One class of juniors, however,
who had learned of the immemorial
incident from the then seniors, at
tempted a little experiment Of
their own, the subject being mathe-
matical and scientific human ma
ture.
Three puffs from the air gun, and.
although the students saw that the
bullseye was perforated as usual.
there was not sound Of applause.
Professor Loonnis looked a moment
at the class in a startled way, then
at the target, and then, with a de-
gree of emotion he had never be-
fore shown, exclaimed:
"Didn't it hit? Didn't it hit?
Didn't it hit ?"
A roar of laughter, followed by
even more than the usual applause,
showed the professor that he had
not lost his mathematical accuracy.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

Even the Disnified English Butler css
Go Astray at Times

A little story which has just
found its way across the Atlantic
from an English country house tells
OF the recent sip made by new
and nervous butler in serving his
master, duke, at the luncheon ta-
bic. Quiet, respectful and assidu-
Gus, he profered dish with the in
sinuating query:
"Cold grace, your grouse?'
The slip is so obviously a nat
ural one that doubtless the tale is
true. Thus far it is also unchal-
lenged as new, although probably
by the time it has made the full
round of the press somebody Will
discover that in its original form
1t was an Athenian chestnut" in
the days of Socrates.
An anecdote which at least be-
longs to the same family used to be
laughed over in early Victorian
drawing rooms.
Among the royalties, great and
little, who came to London for the
young queens coronation there
was a certain small, dried up, gray
haired, bright eyed, brisk little old
reigning prince of tiny principali-
ty. He was faraway cousin to an
Irish duke, whose estates in Ire
land he visited before returning.
For his entertainment 4 village cell
ebration was arranged. with games
and dances. and especially Irish jigs
and clog dances.
The gay old prince was delight
ed He came himself of a race ia
nous for its dancing. He still pos
sessed a good eye, quick ear and
a light foot. That same evening in
the great hall of the castle, to the
whistling of his hosts son, he en-
de 'vored to emulate some of the
feats he had seen.
The dukes solemn English but
ler was present, and his horror at
such unroyal antics was reflected in
his eyes. The prince perceived it
and, shooting a sudden forefnger
at him, demanded imperiously:
'tEh! Tell me, then, what you
think of my dancingp
Discreet and dignifed, but fur
ried inwardly, the buffers manner
was perfect, but his tongue betray-
ed him. He answered:
"Your royal spryness is certain
ly Ugh"
There was a shout of laughter,
and, the duke, with assumed anger,
cried sternly: "Whatl Do you dare
to insinuate that the prince is ele-
his vivacity is due to
any other good spirits than his
own?"
Before such an accusation the
poor buffers last remnant of COM
posure vanished, and, turning Wild
Iy, with clasped hands, from his
highness to his grace, be protested
"No, never, sir, your royal gray
ness; no, l never, sir, your icep-
Youths Companion.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

Campaign
tie
assisted obtaining alfalfa
alfalfa articles
matrx pages to Alfalfa editions
shed
in
their conditions agcuural willing their
and n enth campaign
work to be started Immediately the Corn
the East Thirty
depending local conditions
the behind the him
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
Causes of War.

The horrors of the Indian mutt.
ny will still be remembered, AMI
the cause which led to it is q mat
ter of history. Cartridges greasel
with cows fat were served out to
the sepoys, who refused to uss
them on the ground that the cow
was a sacred animal. Almost with
out any warning the terrible massa-
cres followed, which were only
avenged at an enormous ,expendi-
ture OF lives and money.
The war which deluged ,Ahstria
and Prussia with blood in 1866 en-
anated in the former failing to an
swer question asked by the latter.
In the spring OF that year the Aus
TRANS began to arm very speedily
and powerfully, and the Prussians
wanted to know the reason. To
this they would give no reply, and
Prussia, thinking it was an un-
friendly and menacing action,
brought about the CORY campaign
London Ht-Bits.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

The figures OF the last census, when
compared with those of the previous
census reports back in 1850, indicate
that the movement Of the production
of grain under natural conditions has
reached its western limit. Since 1850
the "median point" (center) of pro-
duction OF the six great crops-corn.
wheat, oats. barley, rye, and buck
wheat-was about 20 miles west
southwest OF Burlington, Iowa; but its
western movement In the last ten
years was comparatively very small.
1t remains TO be seen what effect the
great irrigation work now planned by
the government will have upon the
location OF the great grain fields OF
the country.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

AI1a-'1 s--fes larger yields from
the crops that follow.
Alfalfa contains more protein per
ton than clover or corn.
Alfalfa is the agricultural wonder
of the twentieth century.
Alfalfa yields from two to three
times as much as clover or timothy,
and is more valuable hay.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

Alfalfa is being successfully grown
in every agricultural county in New
York. and on at least one farm in
nearly every township. 1t is possible
to grow it on some part of practically
every farm In the state.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

fa Automobile Trains
Arranged Meetings
to Accompany Each Alfalfa TranAfaIa
Each Community Work-FieId
Alfalfa Growing VIII Follow Up Preliminary
Give Aid Getting StartProsor
Department, International
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25

principles OF agriculture simple practical hngswhch
and experiment stations
Professor Holden
er1ve
acknowledging
o be held
institutions the individual merchant corporation
This plan for increasing the yields
of all nrodc
a CROP
Campaigns being
other localities and invites
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
How He Won fier.

"The man ! marry" sad the giri
% the parlor scene, "must be but q
little lower tls7 angel"
"Well, Wiz the matter with
mep queried he tclng man as he
dropped on J. k:lce; at her feet.
SYou see, Pm a Lite lower thRn
one Of them lou ton Post.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1913-04-25
HOLDEN PLANS TO PUT
ALFALFA ON every FARM
P!an to Unite Al! Interests in Nationwide CAMPAIGN
for the General Growing of Alfalfa.

Extension Department to Aid Any Community Interested in Con-
Quoting Campaign to Encourage the Growing of Alfalfa
No More Difficult to Grow Than Clover and
Gives Double the Yield
Evening star., 1913-11-27
Senator Kern's Statement.

Senator John W. Kern OF Indiana, DEM
ocrstic leader of the Senate. said:
Senators who. without vacations, have
remained In Washington throughout the
heated term should be thankful that
they still live move and have their be-
ps.
democrats generally should be thank
81 for the triumph OF Jeffersonian prin-
o,ple-. the victories won by their party
IN various parts of the country, and the
splendid leadership of Woodrow Wilson.
which il followed. will gladden. their
hearts with many more victories in years
To CONF.
"Sone democrats, who have received
presidential appointments. should have
: special Thanksgiving service.
'.Other democrats. who are seeking ap-
poin tn.nts. should be thankful that they
are not without hope.
But those whose prayers OF thanks
giving should be more earnest and en-
thus .astic than all others are those Pc
eNliarIy fortunate democrats who want
no oificr and know nothing of the trials
md tribulations of officeseekers and Of
scehoiders. Verify, they have their re-
ard
Evening star., 1913-11-27
E. P. Grosvenor Resigns.

In order TO enter private practice az q
partner Of former Attorney General
wickersham and Henry w. Taft. brother
of the former President. Edwin p. Gros-
venor has rendered his resignation as
special assistant to the Attorney General.
1t Is to become effective January 1. Mr..
Grosvenor has charge of the prosecution
of the bathtub. harvester, moving pic
ture and other so-called trusts. However,
Evening star., 1913-11-27
NAY BE COMPROMISED.
Reported Offer to Settle So-Called
Moving Picture Trust Case.

An offer Of compromise, it is under
stood. was made yesterday in the social
ed moving picture trust case by Henry A.
Wise. counsel for the General Film Com
pany. at his conference with W. C. Todd.
assistant attorney general, In charge OF
trust proceedings and E. P. Grosvenor.
the assistant in this case.
A bill has been filed against the film
company and much testimony has been
taken. According to the government, the
General Film Company has practically a
monopoly In its field.
Evening star., 1913-11-27
Confirmation Of Pinkham Dalked.

Lack OF a quorum in the Senate pre-
vented confirm0 on yesterday after
noon OF the appointment OF l. E
Pinkham as governor OF the territory
of Hawaii. Al the end OF spirited
fight against Pinkham. LED by senator
williams of Mississippi a vote re-
suited in his favor. % to Il. This WEE
not a quorum OF the Senate. however.
and the appointment went over Tor
action later. Many democrats voted
against continuation. while the ma
tority of the republicans voted for X.
Evening star., 1913-11-27
To Commend the Michigan.

Capt. Albert p. Niblack. on duty al
the Naval War College. Newport. has
been ordered to assume command OF
the battleship Michigan, now on patrol
duty on the east coast of Mexico. He
will relieve Capt. Edward f. Cape
hart. who has been ordered home
Evening star., 1913-11-27
year and giving us such an optimistic
view Of the citys future greatness"
Maj. Sylvester's Reasons.

Maj. Richard Sylvester. superintendent
Of the metropolitan police department:
THE people of Washington have much
to be thankful for. as viewed from a
police standpoint-a small annual GRIM
inal calendar. a high-grade moral stand
Ing and a police force that is cookbook
ing. energetic and intelligent, although
inadequate numerically.
Frank ]. Wagner. chief OF the District
Of Columbia fire department.:
With the fire department business IS
good when there are no hres TO atteno
to, and am most sincerely thankfui tnat
Washington has been so free from as
astrous fires such as have been inflicted
upon our more unfortunate brethren OF
other municipalities.
DR.. William c. Woodward. health Off
Ger Of the District:
I'VE should all rejoice that Washington
has not been afflicted with any epidemics
OF disease during the past year and thank
God that He has spared us slcknesses
and catastrophes with which other large
municipalities have been visited.
Charity Cooperation.
Walter s. Ufford, general secretary of
the Associated Charities:
Washington has reason to be thankful
for the fine spirit Of cooperation shown
during the past year between the differ
ent philanthropies of the District. This
CO operation has found expression in
splendid team work looking to the ulti-
mate abolition of Washington's alleys as
places of human habitation and united ef-
fort In behalf of a better equipped chill
drens court, the opening of schoolhouses
as social centers, provision for school
nurses. more visitors for the board of
children'S guardians and many other
movements making for the conservation
OF childhood in the District of Columbia. :
Rev. DR.. Charles Wood, pastor of the
Church Of the Covenant:
I'VE should be thankful for peace and
for plenty: for homes and heath; for
friends and for work; for united land
for a heart that is ready to share its
blessings with those who have less
Evening star., 1913-11-27

Mills, u. s. A: Rev. Or. L. G. b. Pierce.
Mrs. Wallace Radcliffe. Miss Janet Rich
ards, Mrs. Charles w. Richardson. Mgr.
Russell. Rev DR.. Abram simon. Miss
Aline Solomons, Mrs. Walter g. Ufford.
Dr. William A. warfield. Rev. DR.. w. r.
wedderspoon and Charles D. Westcott
Evening star., 1913-11-27
New JeWelry.
First Floor.

ON. for Solid Gold Neck Chains.
O1S Hearts. Crosses. Friend
ship Circles and Scarfpins. All
standard at $1.0O.
CD O3 for Partisan Jewelry.
~6o/O among which are $500
value lavalliers. set with La
Tosea pearls and semi precious
stones.
Evening star., 1913-11-27

this official proposes TO continue his gov
ernment connection until the conapieuon
OF the harvester and moving picture
trust cases.