davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
. By G. J. Hamilton

Connolly, too. I supposeT
She nodded assent Now. II you have nm
shed Will take these things away, please.
No, no. Nxl mustn't Let me help you"
certainly not II you move from this room
you Will break your word of honor officer
and a gentleman Remember that"
Three months after the night when vevasour
was lost on Dunrahen Mountain, Ireland was
In a blaze: the English militia called out.
and the Royal Berkshire with Vevasour as ono
OF the captains. sent to a lonely district
Ing. when Vevasour and his company had como
back from long and unsuccessful hunt after
rebels he found that party had Just returned
from another raid. bringing with Them a tall
young IN tattered green uniform with
bedyaggied feathers side OF his cap. His
head was bound up with blood-stained ban.
dage.
Here's one OF 'emr cried the Colonel in
great excitement: "a leader. they say. can
tain. no less" The fellow hiding in a hay-
rick and they dragged him out Not bad
setup chap. Is he?"
Vevasour looked at him. To his amazemen+
he saw that the before him was no other
than the one he had across on Dunrahen
Mountain drilling his company.
Your Is Connolly. / think 2' he said In
a low voice
Eyes Beauchamp Conolly." was the answer
ITO be shot early tomorrow morning" put
in the Colonel Don't forget that Wen give
serve 1t. eh7
And what you going to do with thu
fellow now. sir?" asked Yevasour.
"oh. chuck him into the cellar and leave
him there He can't get out"
AS Vevasour was In his tent that oveniny n.
was surprised by orderly who said:
beg pardon. sir. but there's a person ont
side who wants to have word with you"
Veyasour sharply
"Its not he sir; it's a .she'-seems Ike
a young lady. told her to go away ana wait
I'LL morning, but can't get MD Of her nohow.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
Colleen S Reward

IN URING the beginning OF March in the re-
IL beilion year OF 'es there were many
sisns In the south and east of Ireland
that crisis in the history OF the country was
approaching with rapid strides.
from Lord 1nnismores house a party went
out on dull March morning to shoot over
Dunrahen Mountain The sport was not good:
snlpe were scarce, and the afternoon drew
on the party separated. and young English
militia officer OF the OF Harvey Vevasour
found. to his intense disgust that he was quite
alone His shouts brought answer His
companions had vanished II by magic
He did not perceive that the ground shelved
suddenly. AS he put ono foot forward. the earth
gave way under him. and down he fell. dis
lance OF about twenty feet
Stunned and shaken. he remained for min
ute half-unconscious. He was reused by seeing
around him a mass of angry faces. A tall
In groen uniform. with a green feather at
the side Of his cap. called out: SILENCE. boys
I'll soon find out what this means"
Then standing Vevasour and shaking
him by the shoulder he cried: Here. you sir
what business have you here7 Are you spy7
II fal shoot you dead. by Heaven.
will! Speak the truth: who you and why
you carrying a gun7"
MY gun isn't loaded" said vevasour. who
felt rather inclined to laugh; IT discharged it
an hour ago. quite peaceable, assure
you. out shooting with a party from
Innismore Castle and I lost my way. That's
ALL"
"Will you swear that it's the truth you're
after telling?'
I'll swear anything you like" said vevasour.
What you going to- do with now7'
asked vevasour. will you show me tho way
back to Innsmore Castle-yes or no?"
You're ten Irish miles away from IT.: you
can't get back tonight Wen give YOU board
and lodging for nothing. Here. Pat Brennan
and Ned Doig tie this gentleman's feet and
hands hard and fast and carry him be-
yond you know whore. and leave him till
called for Well relieve him Of his gun; u La
good one and will be useful to u.s."
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

prisoner Connolly tnat evening the Coroner an
swered:
such peTfnt fellow"
Fevasour did not answer
he found the prisoner lying his earthen
door In state OF utter misery and detection.
something has just occurred to me-" said
Vevasour. If we only carry 1t out"
What? What? Speak low; those guards up
above may be listening.
I'VE both about tho Same HEIGHT ana
buld. You could ovsrpower me- take my uni
form and leave yours. will remain here
TIL morning. Go up above. Put your handker-
or something like that-and ti,-n be off out
OF the country fast you can. and promise
never to take Up arms against King George
again"
In the gray light of early morning when
the guard came down to the cellar they found
man clothed in the tattered green uniform
who when he raised his faoa showed the we'll
known features OF Harvey Vevasour.
THAT rascally rebel got the better Of me
last night--held me to the ground and robbed
mo OF my uniform leaving me his own rags"
Over their substantial breakfast Colonel
Knox Chartered pleasantly with vevasour.
Some evening after Conoly's escape Veva-
sour saw sirliSR figure in a peasants dress
outside his tent. Varying basket OF eggs.
Aaureen! What are you doing here? You
may be discovered. You running both
terrible risk"
oh II It's putting you In danger I'll be on
she whispered.
"And what reward are you going to give mo
"sq wss, r.w,r, ;. 80, .., .s
what reward can give but thisg and
she put her arms round his neck and kissed
him again and again
II shall see you again soon" he said. as he
let her OF the tent
Yes. she answered simply "T know 1pu
Will. Goodby and heavens blessing attend you.
and my prayers shield you from harm"
Not year afterward Harvey veyasous
brought an Irish bride to his Berkshire homo. e
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

So many of them want to take me
up as they would a baby and kiss
me. When I was in Paris sat on my
impresario's knee, and a strange
woman came up and swung me off
his knee and said. you dear little
darling! Blessm's precious little
heart" | had to remember I was
gentleman. not to slap her fool
ish mouth. though she was a
Countess. Why can't they realize
that I'm twenty-eight years old?
One thing / want you to under
stand, you big people are so dull!
That is the difference between a
midget and a dwarf. The midget
is perfectly formed, but is small.
I'm midget. The dwarf has some
thing wrong, generally a hump.
Midgets are clever. Dwarfs are
dull. Midgets are cheerful. Dwarfs
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

giraffe looks TO me. One Of the
clever photographers of this news
paper took the picture through my
eyes. And I'll bet you never could
guess in twenty years how 1t was
done. It Is real photograph all
right
Imagine yourself, medium-sized
person, in a world full Of elephants.
1t is the same way with us midgets.
Our greatest fear is that you ele-
phantine humans will step on us
or crush us to death in a crowd.
Otherwise our general feeling to-
ward you Is pity. Pity because you
all look alike. You are ordinary
everyday individuals. You are
monotonous. We are unusual. You
walk the streets and nobody looks
at you, mob ody notices you. Every
body looks at us. We are distinc-
tive. You are the common nouns
and we the proper nouns of hu-
mainly
To us you look as the elephant
looks to you, coarse and clumsy.
Your ears are enormous. Your eyes
like moons. Your teeth remind ME
Of the tombstones in a graveyard
They are so large. Some OF them
look like neglected tombstones, too.
There Is only one exception TO
what have said of you big ordi-
nary creatures. They are the
women. i like women who are
round and cushiony, and who have
full necks. l admire them, too.
with high color.
The woman who is most like a
tomato is the most beautiful woman
to me. If l ever marry I shall
not wed q midget. A full-sized
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
BY Baron GIUSEPPE PAUCCI

BY Baron GIUSEPPE PAUCCI
T AM the smallest man in the
| world. am % inches high
a and l weigh II pounds. Tom
Thumb wasn't a marker. He was
80 inches high.
One or two inches to you or
binary people who are all built
around tho same size don't make
much difference.
The world was built for your
eyes But to me, who have less
than two feet, it is very different
looking place indeed. How would
an elephant look to you If 1t was
as big as three elephants piled one
on another, or a giraffe as tall as
three CRATES, each standing on
one anothers head? Or, better
still, imagine yourself five-foot
person walking around in a world
in which everybody Is eighteen feet
high.
The fore-shortening OF things Is
extraordinary. This picture you
see OF me standing beside the
giraffe shows exactly how
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

"To midgets you look as ele.
plants look to you, course
and clumsy. Your ears are
enormous. Your eyes are
like moons. Your teeth re-
mind me of tombstones."
marry is that women are SO vain.
Don't see It? They crowd about
me and II I lean toward one and
kiss her cheek and tell her I ad-
mire her she nearly faints With Joy
and pride. She believes me. the
featherhead! generally pick out
the ugly ones. but that makes no
difference. They are quite over
whelmed with Joy and from that
minute think they're the most fas-
cinating women on earth. How
could marry such a woman? Her
head would be turned by the next
artist she met at side show and
If he happened to be Eddie the
Skeleton, or Jim the Giant. or the
Turkish Fakir, who cries "Allah!"
when he eats hot Goals, what could
/ do?
But there's compensation for be-
Ing a midget-lots of it. People
come to see us and pay to see us.
Who shall pay to see you who
read what I've written? No one.
Not a nickel. But they pay so
much to see ME that I receive a
salary of $500 a week, and, lift me
up on your shoulder so that 1 can
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

whisper in your ear, I save most
Of 1t.
I'm a good business man. r
don't spend my money on fash
5ewelry, nor on wine and song and
women. am building with my
savings a castle on Lake Como, In
my native Italy. and there my Lady
OF Lyons will be between book
covers.
A cane' Oh. yes. need 1t to
keep people away when they press
LOO close, especially the women.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
.Up-to-Date Jokes

Teacher-John. can you tell me
what Is meant by steward?
John-A steward Is a man who
doesn't mind his own business.
Teacher-Where did you set thai,
idea?
John-Wen. looked II up In tho
dictionary and IT said, "A man WIN
attends to the affairs OF others"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

are melancholy. People like to
look at midgets. They don't at
dwarfs. That's the reason mid
gets get rich. They're a cheerful
sight.
The world looks all right to me
for big clumsy folk like you, Just
as Texas would be a great State
for elephants. They would have
so much room to turn around in It.
What I would like would be- 70
have an island about as big as
Coney' build q lot OF decent sized
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
The Giraffes That Spindle Up Into Tower the
Astonishing Aspect of Elephants, the Terrifying
Policemen and the Beautiful Tomato Ladies

wife or none! But do not expect
TO marry. am twenty-eight and
nave not careo for marriage.
Bachelor. freedom suffices me.
One reason I resolved never to
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01

houses, gather lady and
gentlemen midgets about
me and be their king, as
Lebaudy wanted to be the
Emperor of Sahara, Great
dream. Isn't it?
Cigarettes 4? Yes, I
smoke 'em, but mostly as
an excuse to not answer
when people ask silly
questions. Don't smile
that superior smile at your
superiors. / dare you to
produce one of your hui
man elephants that's per-
fectly formed. Bring him
on, I'll wager my castle in
Como. that I've got the
money in bank to build,
that his figure hasn't the
symmetry Of mine.
Mind you. a midget new
drunk. Ordinary men do.
1t to you which is the wise
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
BATTLE AXE.

Last Sunday was quarterly meet ing occasion here with the Methodists and the recular monthly appointment for the "Ch~istian" order. Conflict. however, could not be we'll avoided. The presiding elder, Rev. E. K. Sew ell, not findinp it rractical to be here on Rev. F. H. Champion's regular monthly time. it was decided to sub- stitute this for regular June service. So Rev. Champion will visit us no more until July. On this trip he brought Mrs. Champion and the two little Charpions.
 P. B. Gardner. who has just com pleted his second years work at Tu- lane Medical school in New Orleans. came in home Sunday evening to cnend the srmmn~. Will teach the New Home School four miles north.
 One of the Fnplish noets told vo"v beautifully in rhvr'a "How the water comes down at Lodore." As ore reads the trioping lines. he can e.l- most sec the sparkle and hear the unrmuring of the water, glidIng, winding. erraving. twisting, whlrlIng and tunnbline downward in the little mountain stream.
 I It is not so pretty q sight to see the dust go up and around and throug
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
DIAZ.

Misses Willis Guin and Gertrude Allen attended the Teachers Insti- ute in Newport last week
 Austin Monroe spent Saturday at Bradford with friends
 H. B. Bradford, 3rd trick operator, has been relieved by F.. B. Bowen and left Thursday for his home at Buana Vista, Ky.
 Waiter F. Hurley, our popular road overseer, attended the lecture by D Ward King at Newport Saturday
 Mrs. Dora Albright left Saturday for her home at Conway.
 Mr. and Mrs. J. G. Armstrong spent Sunday here, the guests of Mr. and Mrs. J. R. Stanley
 Mrs. A. C. Meeker and sister, Miss Eva Mae Wilks, were shopping in Newport Saturday.
 Mr and Mrs Monroe Witt attended the w. o. W. unveiling at Harper's Sunday.
 While excavating for a big drain- age ditch last week on the Guthrie farm one mile east of here, workmen dug up the remains of man, and the skeleton, which was or had been in a box, was in a perfect state, even the hair remained on the scalp. How the body came there no one can tell, unless it was the remains of sol dier who was buried there during the war. Old settlers say that this field was the scene of bloody, battle be- tween Union soldiers and the Confed crate forces, and perhaps this was one of the many who were slain in this conflict. otherwise it cannot be accounted for.
 Crops are in a healthy state. free from grass but needing rain badly.
 Oscar Roberts and Wm. Chisholm had business in Newport Monday.
 Robbie Sconyers of Batesville is visiting his brother this week.
 Slim Jim, the writer, was down on the Island Monday, but did not see you. Perhaps you were seated in some shady nook on the "crick" feed ing the fishes or fighting mosquitoes. Were you not?
 Murphy Bird5one left Sunday for Fort Smith, where he will accept a position with building contractor,
 Mrs. Boyd of Ripley, Tenn, is wis., it,ng her son. J. P Boyd, this week.
 l.. F. Phant
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
JACkSONPORT.

Misses Grace Richardson and Min nie Lee Verdell are attending the commencement of the Batesville high school.
 Prof Frye is in Pocahontas this week on business.
 Mir. and Mrs. Collier and family spent last Saturday fishing on Horse Shoe Lake.
 Robt. and Chas. Anderson attended the Ben Hur dance in Newport last Thursday night.
 The ice cream social last Thursday night, on the lawn of the parsonage, was we'll attended and the second one will be held at the same place Sat- urday night, June 7th.
 Messrs. Jim Mcdonald, Ernest and Arthur Massey, Stinson Verdell and Frank Anderson spent last week fish ing and hunting on Walls lake.
 Several families from here enjoy ed a fish fry on Bergen lake Wednes- day.
 On account of so much dry weather R. w.. Anderson is selling his pota- to plants at $2.00 per thousand. ~ Joe Cathey of Newport spent Sun day here with his mother.
 We understand R. w. Anderson will retire from business the first of July, renting his store, postofice and drug store, combined. He has been in bus mess here for fifty years and we will sure miss seeing him bright and early every morning at his place of busi- ness. MT. and Mrs. Anderson are having their home refurnished, both inside and out, and will live in their
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06

pretty home alone, as all the children Wlll be away at school next winter.
 The big revival at the Methodist church begins Wednesday night and we expect enormous crowds every night. Rev. MT. Champion will be as sisted by Brother B!evins of Weldon. and Brother Sewell, our beloved pre- sidir- elder.
 Ia= music will be in charge of Rob. Anderson, organist, Miss Ella Ande>son, lyric soprano, Dillon Blounc and Ieorge Freeman and Bennett Nerds,, horns, George Powers, violin.
 Fraak Cathey attended the I. o. o. F. lodge in Newport Tuesday night.
 Mrs. J. s. Anderson entertained a crowd of young people at her home Monday night with a card party.
 Miss Alice Cathey has been on the sick list the past wek.
 Miss Koenig is expected home from Emporia, Kansas, this week, where she finished the normal course in the State University.
 Jasper Cleveland spent last week in Independence county on his farm, a. bove Batesville.
 MeCurdy Hughes left for McGhee Tuesday, where he has accepted a po- sition.
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
AUNERGNF.

We are needing rain again.
 Dr. W. P. Neal left Friday for Cros- sett where he was called to his sis ter's bedside.
 Mrs. c. D. Clements and daughter left for Heber Springs Wednesday.
 Misses Etta Johnston and Florence Johnston attended the institute at Newport last week, and returned to their home Thursday.
 Lyster Beard of Chicago was visit ing his father, G. T. Beard, last week.
 Mrs. w. P. Neal and daughter spent Sunday with her sister, Mrs, Neal F'oushee of Snoffner.
 Dr. C. D. Clements and M. B. Hare went to Augusta Sunday in the Stod- dard-Dayton car.
 Mrs. c. w May and daughter spent Saturday and Sunday at Tupelo wis., iting.
 Mrs. Davidson of Little Rock was here last week visiting Mrs. Handel. Roof Gibson spent from Friday until Sunday at Tupelo with friends and relatives.
 We are going to have Children's Day the third Sunday in June. Every body is invited to come.
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06

run the "spiit log" over every road in this township without getting ten feet from theIr places or business.
 < r. ktrkpatrlcE 0t PocanorCas spent Sunday nere, visiting hls wl1e and son, who is in the sauIrarlum.
 Childreu's Day Services at the Meth odist church Sunday night was a de- cided success. The program as furnished by the publishing house, to- gether with some supplemental selec- rIons and songs, were rendered to a large and appreciative audience.
 Mrs, Mary Armstrong has moved into her new home at the corner of Front and Beech street.
 Contractor A. R. Anderson will, within a few days, complete a nice six-room cottage for Mrs. Emma Fur pin on Dowell avenue, Holt and Dow ell Addition.
 Rev. W. P. Talkington preached a very interesting and entertaining ser mon Sunday at the Methodist church. Sorry that more parents were not present, as he had prepared this dis course especially for them.
 Members of Village Creek Camp, o. w, on Sunday last, unveiled the monument erected at the grave of Harry Ledbetter Ed and Grover Par rott of Newport attended the unveil- ing.
 Our townsmau, Charles Penix, while in Memphis last week, purchased a Tennessee thoroughbred roadster for the sum of $250. Young ladies will please make a note of this, as Charlie has not yet passed into the state of an old bachelor and more, he and younger brother have just purchased one of the best $20,000 farms in Jack sor county. Perhaps I had better not give the name of the younger brother, as I understand some claims already attach to him.
 J. ?. candidates for the primary arc nodestly coming to the front and within the next few days the " will he full of them.
 Pr3f. w. M. Shaver and family, Mrs. Er0la Cook, Misses Nora Yelverton ani Willie Penix will leave Saturday for Jacksonville, Florida. Dr. J. C. Cook will go along to chaperone crowd.
 The city council are having our town laws registered, and are also passing some new ordinances, some of which include the state law, in ref erence to selling or giving away cig arette paper and selling or giving to minors under the age of fifteen years snokinp tobacco in any form, also tho state law against using profane language.
 The contractor will get the roof on the new brick parsonage this week; when completed our town can boast of having the best arranged, most comfortable and neatest parsonage in this part of the state. In fact, I be- lieve it will be the only brick house of the kind in Jackson county. Tucker man is not satisfied in keeping pace with other towns, but is continually forging ahead.
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
IN NEWPORT.
The Evidence Is Supplied By
 Local Testimony.

If the reader wants stronger proof than the following state- ment and exprience of a resi- dent of Newport, what can it be?
 w. I. Hall, farmer, R. F. D. No. 2, Newport, Ark, says: "I have never lost an opportunity during the past six years to praise and recommend Doan's Kidney Pills for what they have done for me, as well as other members of my family. They have made such complete cures of kidney trouble that it has not been necessary for us to take them or any other kind of med icine during the past three years. One member of the family took Doan's Kidney Pills for trouble with the kidney secretions, to- gether with a weak and painful back. They cured her and later I used the mfor similar com plaint. Their action in my case was just as satisfactory and l was quickly cured. Doan's Kid ney Pills were obtained at Walk CTS Pharmacy and have always been so beneficial that I willing ly verify our former endorse ment of them"
 For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co.,, Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States.
 Remember the name-Doan's and take no other. (Adv.)
Newport daily independent., 1913-06-06
SYMPTOM.

MT. McFadden of Memphis, Tenn, formerly of Swifton, was visiting here the first of the week.
 Mrs. Jim Moon is visiting her pa rents in Memphis this week. w. T. Altman has been on the sick list lately. Miss Olgie Roberts of Tuckerman was visiting at Mrs. Lula Harvey's Sunday.
 Miss Josie Hodge of Paris, Ark. was visiting here this week.
 Miss Caroline Strider, who has been connected with the Walnut Ridge school during the term just closed, and her sister, Miss Matte of Cotter,, visited Mir. and Mrs. Wiles Monday and Tuesday. l. MT. Lambert is conducting a week s normal here for the benefit of those expecting to take June examination, or for anyone else desiring to take F advantage of it.
 Quite a nice little rain in this sec- tion Monday, but much more is need ed. ' .-
 Shelby Taylor of Imboden was wis., iting at Will Harvey's this week.
 MT. Tonney is having the founda- tion of his new residence put in this week.
 T. M. Beard and w. H. Harbison lost good mule each, last Saturday.
 Children's Day will be observed at the Methodist church the 3rd Sunday in June.
 Mir. Wiles' mother and brother, FL more, of Ward, and his brother Lu- ther of Cotter, are visiting him this week.
 As result of the Civil Service ex- animation for rural carrier at this point, Taylor Keaton and John Shafer stand at the head of the eligibles, one of which is liable to receive the ap- pointment soon.
 Miss Beulah Shaver left Monday morning for Cabot
 Prof. Shaver spent Tuesday here.
 Quite a number of our townsmen are camping on Cache river this week.