The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-04-05
ABatch ofSmile.

AL Il dAtb lOu6C "bIO4O kAIo 6lOIh
recently visited there is a s~ix-year.old
son Of an inquiriug mind. When he
was first taken In to see the new ar.
rival he exclaimed:
oh. mamma. it hasn't any teeth!
And no haif!!" Then clasping his
hands in despair. he cried: Somebody
has done u.s. It's al old haby.'-The
Ladies' Home Journal.
The defendant. who was held on the
charge of keeping a dog without a
the evidence, but was hushed each
time by the court. Finally the clerk
turned to him: ~
do you wish the court to UNDER
stand that you refuse to renew your
dog license?"
"Yes, but"
I'VE want no 'buts.' You must re.
new your license or be fined. You
know it expired on January l."
"Yes, but SO did the dog."-Harper's
Weekly.
AS an express train was going
through a station M of the passen.
gers leaned too far out Of the window,
overbalanced and fell out. He fortu.
nately landed on a sand heap, so that
he did himself no great injury. but.
witt. torn clothes and not a few bruises
said.to a porter who was standing by:
What shall I doc"
You're all right. mister" said the
porter. "Your ticket allows you to
stop Off"
a prominent railroad man hurried
down the lobby of a Birmingham hotel
and up to the desk. He had lust ten
minutes in which to pay his bill and
reach the station. Suddenly it occur.
red to him that he had forgotten some
thing. -
Here. boy" he called to'a negro
bellboy. "run up to 50 and see if I left
Il box on the bureau. And be quick
about it. will you?"
The boy rushed up the stairs. The
ten minutes dwindlcd to seven and the
railroad mar paced the office. At
length the boy appeared.
"Yas. suh." he painted. br%eathlessly.
"yas. sub; yo' left 1t, suh."-What to
Eat.
After waiting the usual five or ten
minutes the new arrival was served
with the first dinner course of soup.
Hesitattng a moment as he glanced at
his plate. the guest said to the waiter:
II can't a this soup
I'll bring o another kind, SIR
said the waiter. as he took 1t away.
Neither can I eat this soup,' said
the guest, a trihe more emphatically,
when the second plate was served.
The waiter, angrily but silently. for
the third time brought a plate of soup.
Il simply can't eat this SOUP" once
more said the guest. in a low. en-
lphatic tone.
BY this time the waiter was furious
and called the hotel proprietor. while
the guests at the nearby tables look
ed over that way with curious glances
Really, sir. this Is unusual. May
ask why you can't eat any Of our
soups ?" demanded the proprietor.
Because I have no spoon" replied
the guest. quietly.
Two 1rishmen visited a well.known
perambulating menagerie. After com.
came to a slit in the canvas with q
bill printed above it in large letters
containing the lengend Exit" =
"Begorra, Pat!" said one Of them
heres a place we mustn't miss.
wonder what sort of haste Exit is?'
They followed the index finger on
the bill and. to their wonder and az.
constituent, next moment found them.
selves among the crowd outside.
OSbD oSuoAS 0dIu &lbSRs III NIUE
his fist at the man who barred his re.
entrance. "ye're IN aud swindler, We
are. Bad luck to o n your auld
show"
A temperance lecturer was cnthus.
%iastically denouncing the use Of all
intoxicants.
II. wish all the beer. all the wine, ali
the whiskey in the world was at the
h0ttn1n n ftha 0coanr he said
Hastily Pat arose to his feet.
"Sure, and 30 do I, sor." he shouted
IT wish every bit Of 1t was at the bot.
tom of the sea" .
As they we're leaving the hall the
lecturer. encountered Fat.
*."I certainly am proud Of you" hi
said. at was q brave thing for you
to rise and say what you did. Are
you a ~teetotaler?"
"I'm a diver"