The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-04-10
ABatcho Of Smiles

fellers in New York have the best
memories In the world"
Uncle Ezra-"How do yon make
that out?"
Uncle Eben-"Well, from the way
they hollered at me this last time I
was down there they must have
ped OF 'em a quarter to drive me
from the station back in '79."-Maga.
zine Of Fun. $40
Some boy friends Of Darwin once
plotted q surprise for the great natu-
s E'nsd &C ca p y n = s.tt S;sn!tipssa dsa they hey
wings Of a butterfly and the long legs
of a grasshopper. Then putting the
creature in a box, they took 1t to OAR
win. and asked him what it could be,
explaining that they had caught in the
fields. Darwin looked 1t yer a
fully.
Did it hum when o caught it?"
"Oh. yes, SIR" they answered. nudg-
ing n another, lit hummed like
"Then." said the philosopher. lit is
a humbug." -Harper's Weekly.
They had been married just two
months and they still loved each other
devotedly. He was in the back yard
backing his shoes.
Jack" she called at the top Of her
voice. Jack. come here. quick"
He knew at once that she was in
and rushed up two flights Of stairs to
b~reathlessly and found her looking
out Of the window.
Look" said she. that's the kind
Of bonnet ! want you to get me-
Harper's Magazine.
On most Of the English railways
there are regulations which permit
patrons, on payment Of a stipulated
fare. to take with them certain pet
animals OF birds. A short time ago a
maiden lady, appeared at one of the
whole menagerie. She had a dog. a
cat, a rabbit, a squirrel, a parrot, and
a small turtle. The dog and the par
rot were allowed transportation under
the rules. but. in order that the pas
senger might take all her pets, the
guard proceeded to classify them as
follows:
Cats" said he. lis dogs, rabbits is
dogs, SQUIRRELS in cages is parrots; but
He stopped and scratched his head.
staring at the creature In perplexity.
Finally an idea came TO him. This
ERE tortoise" he resumed, &c is a
hinseck. and hinsecks travel free!'-
Judge.
Willie and his little sister were visit
ing at a mountain resort, whore they
heard a great deal Of talk Of the fine
view. One day the sister fell over the
screaming to his mother:
"Oh. mamma! Come quick! Bessie
has fallen into the view!"-The De-
lineator.
Robert Underwood johnson. the
poet and editor. declared 1T the uni
versity of New York's commencement
that New York as Il literary center
was ridtculous-that nowhere in this
country was poetry more appreciated
than in Boston. and nowhere less
than in New York.
I'm fact" said Mr.. johnson after.
ward. New Works. love Of poetry is
about equal to the Earlham college
boys love Of languages. In my
sophomore year at Earlham this lad
was visited by his mother. Well. my
dear she said to him, what languages
have 9 decided to take up 'Pictish.'
mother. Why rictish?' Only fve
words Of 1t remain said he"
1.-THE reporters life il a happy one.
When he suffers az indignity the cause
Of that indignity Is usually beneath
consideration, or else the Insult is duo
to some Misunderstanding"
The speaker was Albert ]. Bev-
eridge. O n time reporter. He con-
tinued:
~ know a reporter who went to a
house the day after q wedding and
said to the servant who answered his
ring:
"'Can you let me have some de-
tails. please. Of yesterdays ceremony
THE servant frowned.
"'No. ! can't she said. They ate
every crumbs. And I think YOU ought
10 be ashamed. ar able bodied youns
man like you. going around begins
for cold details!'"