Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-05-20
,how. they conld make, heas,s of them.

was depicted a typical Western pic
tune playiet with cowboys fighting all
over it like brother in-law or a society
drama of the effete East so deity
worked OUT that nobody could tell
what it was about
There are pictures showing the va
rious stages in the manufacture of
useful articles so artfully produced
that many a child has learned to pre-
fer watching to Supplying his or her, as
the case may be. botany or physiology
which he or she viii never have any
USE for in the Twin world, Is minutes
after quitting school. And | once knew
red-nosed old bachelor who would
sit by the hour and watch pictures of
interesting events in the lives of
French ladies and gentlemen and wish
to gosh he could afford To so over TO
Paris for n spell.
The honest working men are more
and more deseiting the saloon which.
as everybody knows. is the poor man $
club. taking their whole families with
them and the crippled Kid from next
door ana Jamming right into the NOV
ing picture shows to watch with
smokers of hellish aice the films de-
picting mothersin law chasing their
daughters husbands through glass
topped hotbnds and young demons in
human form pouring paint into the
plug hats ef the delegates to n min
isterial conference, and thus without
tile slightest conjunction taking the
bread right out of the mouths of the
saloon keepers and brewers, and in
HllfnprDIIS OH inc Tn
lists and opticians At this very mo-
ment many an eye doctor is riding in
naughty state in a gorgeous touring
car. put there as you might say, by
the pickering films. while the poor So
loon keepers, to whom that car right
fully belongs, and his hapless family
and starving hartenders and their
wretched affinities are walking with
bowed heads and sad hearts behind In
the dust and gasoline smell and know
ing no more than rabbits where their
next diamond is coming from. Many
a doting mother is singing Where Is
My Wandering Boy To- Night when,
if she only knew it !. he is at the nickel
show, gosh darn him, looking at the
pictures of Sarah Bernhardt and John
Bunny doing Romeo and Juliet and
dazedlv wondering which is Bernhardt
and which is Bunny.
Il am aware that hypercritical per-
sons may say that the sort of people
who can be driven TO the dogs by NOV
ing pictures really yearn so keenly for
canine society that they would insist
on fcregathering in kennels even il
moving pictures had never been in
vented.
so | am in favor of censoring NOV
ing pictures good and plenty, but be-
fore doing so | would censure and ex-
trude and compel to stay extruded.
and forever prohibit from putting
themselves on public exhibition, cer-
tain pestilential parties that need it
fully as much as the moving pictures
do; among them being the noxious
nuisance who puts his arm around our
shoulders on the public street, the
pere nnial pest who is forever intro
dueing other pests to us, the confiden-
tial cuss who speils the pleasure of
our railway Journeys by telling us the
story of his life, and the billed
lady who is organizing a society for
the reformation of white rabbits
Woulu eNpunSe tne c0iIePe gfeS-
ident who, because he needs the ad-
vertising, is perpetually pouring forth
nonsensieal napdeodle in as solemn
tones as If it was a pronunciamento
from ON high. and | would cancel the
sensational evangelist who regards
himself as the only respectable man in
the community. | would extripate the
braying donkey who goes about
MISUNDERSTANDING haw, haw.-sun-
shine. the village business minder
with the weight OF the whole world on
his or her, as the case may he. Shout
ders. the gibbering cook who is con-
tinually begging and whimpering for
contributions IL something not worth
preserving. and the dyspeptic who joys
in regaling everybody with his con-
founded symptoms.
Il would give both barrels in a vital
spot to the rickety old wreck who in
sists on proving that a man is just as
Young as he-ee-hee. hee hee,--feels, the
juvenile orator, the pestiferous pup
who knew Il great man when he was
no higher than that. all people Will,
petitions. and the pale, copious-haired
person who goes into a high fever of
ecstatic admiration whenever Vogner
or Baytcvcn is mentioned.
Il would blot out the average viii
lage Big Man who takes himself 50
seriously that he faneies when he steps
on one end of the town the other end
Hips up like II sun-warped board:
would efface him for the continual I'M
suit in the kindly condeseension with
which he reaches down from his supc-
rior height to us paltry little people
If the common herd On my list TO be
erased would likewise be the unenjey-
able person who comes of fine old
Southern family and never gets over
it, the wearisome wight who holds that
nothing worth reading has been writ.
ten since Shakespeare time. and the
bore of all bores who insists upor
stating his views when I want to state
mine.
After that, if felt like it. would
so around and slap the moving pic
lures on the wrist. Seriously. though
my notion is that of the countless
thousands that are being undone by
the moving pictures the great MAORI
ty amt. and that the few who possess
SO little serse that they would go out
on a fiat rock at high noon and undo
themselves if they didn't have the
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