davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
FAME AND TRADEMARKS.

Our friends, the Society of Friends, who are
cverybodys friends, continue to express their sor-
row that the word Quaker" should be used as an
advertising device.
They found impossible to get Legislation passed
which will stop the practice. Next, proposition to
resort to satire by printing in one of their papers
fictitious advertisements in which names OF
other denominations would appear was defeated at
the New York yearly meeting Now they are in
search of some other way of protecting themselves
that will not be combatve beyond the tenets of their
faith
The idea that fame is having ones name mis-
spelled in the dispatches is out of date now Having
a breakfast food or a cigar or hair tonic named
for one is the modern way. Neither anybody nor
anything can be sure of escaping this penalty Of
greatness.
Washngtons majestic countenance has decorated,
at one time or another the label of almost every
manufactured article, from health underwear to
safety razors. Lincoln, Henry George and Joe
Cannon have done their parts to promote the to-
bacco trade, and the Bryan brand of grape juice
is as inevitable as the Ham" Lewis whiskers accel
ator
We sympathize with the members of the Society
OF Friends, but fear that they have cut out big
lob for themselves.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
THE TOWNSEND CHARGE.

Senator Townsend charges that while the Senate
committee is looking for lobby, trying TO locate in
terests which are coercing Congress in tariff mat
ters il would be we'll to go TO the White House and
note what use President Wilson is making of his
political authority and patronage power to drive Con-
gress into passing the legislation he wants
That, of course is pretty old story. 1t is as old
as the constitutional arrangement by which the pat
ronage power is placed in the hands of the Presi-
dent Not much political capital is to be made of it
nowadays because the public at large is generally
pleased to see a President such instruments as
he possesses to get of Congress what he wants.
The public has more confidence in its President than
in Congress. 1t used merely to grin gleefully when
Roosevelt was denounced for using the Big Stick
on the legislators Every time a statesman wept over
the menace of dictatorship" Roosevelt laid by a
snug increment of political power and personal pop
ularity.
The people have come TO think that the real use
Of real President is to club Congress into doing
things That was the basis Of Roosevelts strength
with the people; the lack of that capacity the
secret of Tats failure; and the possession of large
zest for the fight is the thing that is making Pres
dent Wilson strong
Senator Townsend may feel grieved that a Pres-
dent should "coerce" Congress; but he didn't always.
In the spring of 1908 the Cannon organization in the
House tried TO emascuate the interstate COM
merce law by refusing appropriation to enforce Sec
ton 20. That section was dear to Roosevelt. He
learned of the plot, and casting about for some re-
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
Last Thing He Did.

THERE had been an explosion in
powder mill. according TO a
story told by Congressman
Rucker of Colorado. and the
proprietor, who was away on a pleasure
trip, hurried home to make an investi-
cation.
How in the world did 1t happenT'
he asked the foreman OF the mill is he
viewed the wreck. Who was to
blame"
Well you see. sir" replied the fore
man, 1t was this way. Bill went into
the mixing-room. probably thinking of
something else, and struck a match in
mistake. He"
Struck a match exclaimed the pro-
prietor in amaZement. Il should have
thought that would be the last thing on
earth he'd do"
1T was. SIR was the calm rejoinder
Of the foreman.-Los Angeles Herald.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
THE PRICE OF COURTESY.

railroad station porter at Pittsburgh was before
the police magistrate for stealing SIS from woman
He admitted it and explained that he had to have
money; no tips had come to him for long time.
Questioned, he told the court that the company
paid him ST month, and he was expected to live on
his tips. An officials called to verify, which he
did.
The Court found the porter guilty, told him to
get into better business and patroled him for year
Forcing large and increasing class of people
hundreds of thousands of then-waiters, porters
hotel attendants, etc. to live off the pubcs gratui-
ties; compelling them 10 cultivate the attitude and
habits of mendicancy; taking away from them the
last shred of opportunity for selfrespect and inde-
pendencethat is of the things that ought TO he
stopped. The institutions that do it are commonly
those best able to pay decent and self-respectng
wages.
Do we really want and like funkeys and hunkey-
ism, We so-called Americans? Does it fatter our
cheap and nasty vanity to pass out tip and feel our
superiority? 1t seems to, and that that just
as much harm is being done above as below the lne
of cleavage between the funkey and the snob.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
Good Stories
Why They're Divorced.

TT was their first day at housekeeping
The pictures were all up and car.
pets were all down.
She knew how to bake biscuits
But that was all, for she had only spent
two years at a cooking school
"Oh, goody." she cried. "Il give
Harold a surprise. Well have biscuit
supper
Harold came home. He kissed her in
the vestibule. the hall. the ante room
and so on out into the dining room.
First course, biscuits" she twittered
as they sat down to dinner.
Harold. devouring her with his eyes,
devoured the biscuits with his teeth and
avidity.
Second course, Biscuits she caroled
How novel;" exclaimed Harold. and
devoured seven more.
The third course was biscuits. and as
for the fourth, biscuits. 1t was a four
course dinner. and Harold did justice
to each course. For dessert there were
biscuits.
Thus is revealed the secret Of at least
one divorce.-Detroit Free Press.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
Weather Prophets 1000 Years Back

I
The drought In David's time was not
predicted. but II was explained as being
because of Saul and his bloody house. y
Yet II occurred just 36 X 10 years after
Pharaoh's drought.
In all probability the astronomers OF
the ancient world were familiar with
the cycles OF drought and famine Jus,
as they We're with the cycles OF
eClipseS 1000 years before our era. So
undoubtedly the Egyptians knew o.
the cycles of the fat and lean years
and the Jews carried that knowledss
with them when they left Egypt.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

Y Daughter beare of the LOVEMOTH which futereh from
lVI damsel to damsel
For the of his harvest and his habitat
the uoont pidzzas
charge thee put thy sentiment cold storage and
thy PANTY in distilled camphor.
For the nay his "gangway which all
turn
Yet the openoth is not but blessing disguise for
an acquaintance with these e1eed college educaton and
his instruction is not to be despised
Behold how graciousy he gipeth dame lessons the
fliraion
Mark cLasp say
things which meaneh ndught.
Lo he aodeth her practice the language the saying
Whn thou dost glance thou raphng but when thou
glancest DOWN thou art Hresistibler
He urgh her puff cigarette and Showeth her the RIGHT
end thereof to be lit, saying:
go to! Be prudish Hketh Good Spo de-
Lghteth in girl who is CHUMMY!
He make ring and feedeth upon cherry
from the gentle cocktail.
He gpeth lessons in palm and inpenteth many
ducet pet names"
He kisseth her-and adpiseth NOT tell mother
He nsructeth her in the white He
YET hath exceeding WISE weayeth of the
"Lo when / MARRY / shall ned simple maiden who
KNOWETH less"
And behold education "fnished flrtation
Alas Daughter School of Love is one and
shall matricuLdte therein.
But enough pretend knoweth
NOTHING.
For where ignorance bliss is folly to APPEAR wise
per she that speudeth her time within the classroom
knowledg but she that spendeth oon
piazza and in star-lh paths shall acquire WISDOM
which of these is to be desired9 Selah!
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
What's on the Program, in
Washington Today

Field meet in which more than 800
school children of Washington viii
participate. at the Horse snow
Grounds. Eighteenth and D streets
northwest. this afternoon.
Annual outing OF the Employing Print
ers and Allied Trades OF Washins-i
ton. at La Plata, Nd.
Membership committee OF the Wash
ington Board OF Trade. "get-togeth-
or" dinner at Great Falls.
Fedora ton OF Citizens Associations II
tSe District will meet in the rooms
of the Chamber of Commerce to-
night. <,,
National Union. will meet at Typo
rrophical Temple tonight.
Monthly meeting of Canton Washing
ton. Patriarchs Militant, tonight
Amusements.
National-Aborn Opera COMPANY in
:The Tales of Hoffman" e:l5 and Sis
Chiumbia-"Lovers' Lane" Ais andt
PoN'sN~'Tne Country Boy 2:15 and Sis
chase'-"The Battle of Gettysburg"
to II p. m.
Glen Echo-An amusements.
Chevy Chase-Concert by section Of Ma
riAe Band and dancing.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
What He Did.

In Little Humorists at School" H. J.
Barker tells a story of a school mis-
tress who asked one OF the little girls
in her class, the daughter of a man
who was not always so sober as he
ought to have been: What is your
father"
please. miss" was the prompt re-
ply. when he's working he's a brick
layer: but when he's out Of work he's
Q teetotalerr'
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

II a certain Congressman can arrange
for a thousand per cent duty on Ger
man humorous weeklies. we'll agree TO
cut that 1863 in half. And be hanged
to the lobby investigators.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
THIS& THAT
WaA SsSsst,mes L.tat srtAs otAe>

TO WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT.
Cwho is at present in washinr,onl
You see again, o quondam boss,
This busy center of the nation,
But shy the former pomp and os-
Tentation.
No more do secret serpice men
Guard zealousy your ep'ry
mOufful;f
Perhaps they will some time
again
It's doubtful.
No more man Of great affairs,
And when ne mention it you
scott us:
You're glad you're free from all
the cares
OF office.
The argument is worthy you;
No common noodle could con.
ceipe it.
But gee! you don't expect US to
Believe it,
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
The Proof.

(tXV1ELL. George" said the
w president OF the company
" to old George. how goes
Fair to m!ddlin'. sir" George an
swered. And he continued to curry
comb a bav horse. Me an this here
hoss," George said. suddenly. has
worked for your firm sixteen years"
We'll. well" said the president.
thinking a little guilt!ly of Georges 81
salary. And l suppose you are both
pretty highly valued. George. Ell?
HIM" said George. the both OF us
was took sick last week. and they got a
doctor for TIE hoss. but they just
docked my pay."-W Woman's Home Com
panion.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

greater than modern man gives
them credit for. He says that they
prophesied because they understood per-
fectIy the laws of nature.
For instance. the weather moves IN
cycles and that was a fact known ages
ago The cycle is nineteen years. En)ah
predicted a drought In the land. AS the
lord God of Israel liveth. there shall
not be dew nor rain these years out ac-
COrLing to my word
The scientists OF those DAYS could
have predicted the drought as well as
Elijah. for II was known at that Time
tina. droughts move in cycles or nine
teen wears, SAYS the Chicago Tribune.
and II was then just 42 10 years after
Pharaoh drought in the days o.
Joseph, and that was X ls years after
the drought in the time OF Isaac. as re-
corded in Genesis XVI
Nineteen years after Elijah called
down the drought and famine on the
land Elisha said For the Lord hath
called for q famine"
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

TRIOLET TO AN ITALIAN
When polishing shoes,
Dab some on the socks:
II matters not rhose,
When polishing shoes
Do just tChGt you choose
With tchHts in the Dor;
When polishing shoes,
Dab some on the socks.
LIMO
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

The latest census shows 3532e7 people
in the District. 314.5s9 Of whom come
down on the Mt. Pleasant line between
s and $40 in the morning.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

THE most honest man." writes ]. w.
G.. lis he who pays full train fare for
his youngster on the latters twelfth
birthday" Aye, or for a year or three
thereafter.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
How About Tables Reserved For
Ladies2"

G. S. K: The splendid restaurant,
known as the -- -, although in a
state of coma and about to be auc-
toned off. still sports the window
legend-"NEvER CLOSED"
r. LINGToN.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

THE chorus" says the Times"
seemed familiar with all Of the neces-
sary stage business required" Mean
ing. perhaps. the requisite stage busi-
ness demanded.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

LONDON theologian has recent
n " claimed for the prophets OF
~ old a knowledge of science far
greater than modern man gives
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

Why psychiatrists grow rich: The
Wood -dyna mite verdict.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07
'It's too hot.

Mr.. Taft luncheons at the White
House today. and we'd pay any price
for a cross-section Of his feelings. One
can imagine him hailing with Joy the
old bent-pronged fork that he used to
hate so, and as for the glass with the
chip out Of it-heigh-ho! but he'll be
happy to see It!
But the world moves. Mr.. Wilson
will experience like sensations when he
lunches with T. r. four years from now
When Byron took his trusty pen
And wrote Of love and kisses,
Who was It stood beside him then?
The ever-faithful Mrs.
This Column.
AS I envisage his career
OF miseries and blisses.
rather think that he was near
The miscellaneous misses.
F. P. A. In the New York Mail"
Oh, we'll. / guess you've got me there
It's possible I've blundered.
In fact. for all know or care,
He could have had a hunderd.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

To say nothing OF: Il have always
had a considerable sympathy for the
sons Of rich men. They are seriously
handicapped in life. John Hays Ham
mond.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

DR.. Heinrich Hammer will conduct
the chorus of 500 on the Fourth ,f
july and it's the simplest kind of
wheezology TO gimlet a gag there
from.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

Just call it the anvil chorus.
-------.- --- G. s. K.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

THE FUTURITY STAKES
c. r. S: The man who is goins
TO save so much week-startins
next week"
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

If Mr.. Burleson really wants to put
the p o. on a self-supporting basis he
should reduce the size of parcel post
stamps. The saving in paper would be
colossal.
The Washington times., 1913-06-07

Matter Johnson Wins Final From
Browns"
"Ainsmith Wins Game With Lusty
Single"
Nationals Behind Walter johnson
Win Final Of Series. All from tn.
Herald"
Anyhow. they won.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01

Iowa.
Will Roberts of near. Millersburf
was here Saturday transacting bust
ness at the bank and visiting will
various friends. @.r w
R. G. Bean of Pilot township, trans
! acted business here Saturday and also
visited at the home of his uncle, w. T
Bean.
Walter Evans, one Of our young
! business men now at Cedar Rapids
was q visitor here last week with his
relatives and friends.
Miss Maria Parry, who has been
away for the past two months visit
! ing with a sister at Kansas City, Is
now at home.
Workmen are now engaged in the
! building of new modern residence In
the east part of town for Peter Han.
son.
Mr.. and Mrs. R. e. Dunlap, who
have been here visiting for several
days at the home of the formers
brother, H. A. Dunlap, have returned
to their home at Rock Springs,
Wyoming.
Mrs. Bert Hakes, who has been Wis
iting with her daughter, Mrs. Roy
Evans, at North English, is now at
home.
Born, Tuesday. January IA. to Mr..
and Mrs. Fred Jones, daughter.
Will Rusbult and his sister, Mrs.
J. A. Daniels, of York township, were
visitors Thursday at the parental Rus
built home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Mat Lee. former resi-
dents here, now of Grinnell, arrived
Saturday for a visit at the home If
their son, Charles.
Mrs. Ed Evans and daughters, Eliza
beth and Katharine, who were visitors
last week at Cedar Rapids, returned
Saturday.
A three days session Of the farmers
institute was held here January 16,
II and 10, and was we'll attended by
the farmers Of this locality, and the
exhibits of farm products were espe-
cially good. Prof w. H. Kennedy Of
Ames, recognized as one of the best
posted men in the United States on
the Judging Of stock and general farm
ing, was present and gave valuable in
formation on the subjects allotted to
him. L. o. Weise, senior student Of
Ames college, was present and gave
valuable information and instruction
In connection with the grain depart
ment and also did the Judging Of the
various exhibits Of corn, etc. Mrs. S.
B. Mccoy of Annes was also present
and gave valuable instruction in the
home economy department. The ses-
sion was pronounced grand success
this year in all respects.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01
SALEM CHAPEL.

Mr.. and Mrs. John Mccoy and chill
dren spent last Sunday at the parental
J. B. MILFORD home near Blakesburg.
Mrs. e. E. Gilyeart and Mrs. F. M.
Norman attended the installation Of Of
ficers and banquet Of r. N. A. in OF
tumwa Tuesday night.
Rev. Whtilock closed the meetings
Thursday evening at the NJ. e. church
on account Of the condition of the
roads.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. w. Norman spent
Thursday at the parental e. e. Gilyeart
home
Mrs. E. E. Gilyeart and daughter
Alta spent Monday with Mrs. Bert
Deselm near Hedrick.
The ladies Of the Willing Workers
and their husbands met with Mr.. and
Mrs. II. N. McElroy Wednesday after
noon.
w. R. C. Hartman sent in his resig-
nation to the school board Wednesday,
severng his connection with the Gen.
ter school, 49,
Arthur McElroy and Frank Mast are
attending court, both being drawn for
jury service. ....
Mrs Daisy Deselm of near Hedrick
was hostess to the following ladies on
Saturday: Mrs. Wallace limbaugh,
Mrs. E. E. Gilyeart, Mrs. F.. w. Nor
man, Misses Lizzie and Alice Doak and
Helen limbaugh. q 8,
F. w. Norman and E. f. Gilyeart at
tended the Frank Emery sale near
Highland Center Saturday.
Dollie Hoagland is visiting at the
Harry Proud home this week.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01
LI1ERTYVILLE.

Mrs. c.. L. McGaw Of Fairfield spent
Sunday with her daughter Mrs. C.
Vaught
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Bradshaw and
children Of Fairfield spent Sunday at
the S. H. Watkins home near Liberty
vile. r
Inez Hoffman Is reported on the sick
list.
Mr.. and Mrs. Glenn Cupp Of Milton
arrived Sunday evening for weeks
visit at the John Coleman home near
Libeltyville.
Mrs. Joe Hoffman and Mrs. Roy
Glotfelty spent Thursday in Batavia
at the Joe Wagner home.
Mr.. and Mrs Carl Riggs and Mrs.
Gilbert Swanson were shopping in
Fairfield Friday.
Mrs. Thornton Fordyce entertained
the sewing club Of line nine Thursday
afternoon at her home west OF town. A
pleasant afternoon was spent and light
refreshments were served.
Mrs. Hess Robertson who has been
seriously Ill with pneumonia Is getting
along nicely.
Mrs. Detnon Tedrow is able to be up
after several weeks Illness.
Roy Glotfelty moved out to his Farm
near Libertyville Friday.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01
RICHLAND D.

Two young men arrived in town on
foot a few days ago and introduced
themselves as Joseph Rausch and
VIM. Berner Of Vienna, Austria, re-
porters of the Vienna Daily: News. AS
was explained in letter Of introduce
ton, they are making a tour OF the
world on foot in given time. II they
make 1t in that time they are to re-
ceive $4,000, one condition being that
they make the entire trip without
funds. They went from here to Kansas
City.
, Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Jones of Oska-
loosa visited relatives near here last
week - e. 4
Miss Gladys Allen of Wayland enter
ed high school here last week. She ex-,
poets to graduate with the class in
May.
D. H. vastine has gone to Abba
where he has accepted position.
Large crowds have attended the
meetings at the Christian church con-
Quoted by Evangelist De Vol Of Mis-
souri,. 49,. 4 - @t
Miss Minnie Hacock and Mrs. oscar
Hobson spent Friday in Ottumwa.
Wade Trigg Of Aberdeen, S. D., came
in last week to spend few weeks
with his parents. <..'
Farnco Bridger who was in the hos
pital at Ottumwa has returned home.
Milo Convey OF Idaho spent last week;
with the George Balderson family. IN,
Mrs. Matte Kelley Of Beardstown,
ILL.,, has returned home after a visit
with Milton Bales and wife.
Messrs. Logue and Myers who visit
ed in Eddyville last week with Rev. II.
G. Koch and family have reurned
home. r...-. ia @
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01

fitting his health. Mr.. Miller has been
suffering for some time with rheuma-
tism.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alb Shanks and daugh-
ter Leola who have been spending the
past two years In Oklahoma and mis-
souri,, will return to Eddyville this
week. They will move to the farm or
Mrs Matilda Richardson west or mere.
Miss Pearl williams left Tuesday
for California where she expects 10
spend the winter. She was accompanied
as far as Ottumwa by her sister Mrs.
Gen. Stephenson.
Mrs. j. r. Roberts spent Tuesday IN
Oskaloosa visiting her daughter Mrs.
Maud Reed.
Mrs Abigail Williams went to AL
bia Tuesday for a short visit with rela-
tives.
Mrs. John Van Reese living south Of
Eddyville is seriously i'll suffering with
pneumonia.
DR.. Knox was a business caller in
Oskaloosa Tuesday.
Ed Knemeyer went to Texas Tues
day on land inspecting trip.
The remains Of John Jordan were
brought from Ottumwa to Eddyville on
Tuesday and inferred in Highland
cemetery.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01
ALBA.

Major H. S. Berry, Ray Tobey, Hor-
ace Barnes and w. E. White went to
Des Moines this morning to hear Sen
ator Beverage speak at the Shriner's
hall and to partake of banquet CIV
en- by the progressive party.
Mrs. Harry Elder who went to FIT.
Morgan the first of the week to visit
her brother Elder Nichol, was taken
seriously i'll on her arrival there with
appendicitis. She returned Immediate
ly and arrived home last evening on
No. 6.
Miss Ethel Downing of Garden City,
Kan, Is visiting friends at Abba and
will teach the Maxon school this win
ter. "
Amos Artz Is at the Cottage hospital
where he will undergo an operation
for appendicitis. go ...<. ...- ~
Mrs Charles Shrouder was an Oska.
loosa visitor yesterday. w..
Mrs. William Flockhart of Ottumwa
is the guest of friends at Abba this
week
Frank Neff from near Foster was
looking after business matters at this
place Friday.
Mr. and Mrs. j. G. Allen of Maxon
were in town yesterday doing some
trading.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-02-01

turned home Saturday.
Floyd Egestone Of Campbell, Mimi,
spent Thursday at the homo OF his
uncle q. L. Eyestone.
Hubert Porter left for Ottumwa last
week to take up work there.
Loren Hayes who has been visiting
with his sister Mrs. Jas. Morgan left
for Crawford, Okla, last Tuesday.
Misses Hattie Holden and Miss
Lora Gregory OF Winfield spent Sunday
at the Chandlee home at this place.
Mrs. Elton Morrow Of Nugent spent
Sunday at the home Of her mother
Mrs. Francis Pollock
Mrs. Florence Taylor returned Sat
urday from Stockport where she has
been visiting her sister Mrs. NJ. c..
Mott.
Robert Miller of New Holland. Ill.,,
Is visiting relatives here this week.
J. O. Spry Of Fairfield spent Thurs
day at the home Of A. NJ. Spry east OF
town. Sc .-.., s 20 -
Miss Edna Graves spent Monday
with friends In Oskaloosa.