davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
The Sword in the Army

Reports have it that the United
States war department is about to dc
away with the use of the sword in the
army. The proposition has been
mooted several times in the past but
opinion as to the expediency Of the
move has never been sufficiently es-
tablished to put it into effect.
1t is questionable whether the aboli
tion of this side-arm will rebound t.
the benefit of the service, for while
it's uselessness is admitted there is an
atmosphere of chivalry and an asso
citation of glory attached to the weap
on that induces many young men to
enter West Point or to aspire to
shoulder straps.
There is significant history be-
longing to the sword that surrounds
with halo in the eyes of a soldier. 1t
is the only primitive war accoutremeni
that has not made way for somethin. !.
better. The battle AK, halberd, cross
bow, spear, pike and even the lance
have all gone their way and been SUI
perseded by improved firearms while
the sword remains practically as il
was thousands of years agone. This
can only mean that the sword repre-
sents an idea; it is more of a symbo!
than an implement of use.
The arms born by the warriors OF
old which have been retired to max,
way for improved devices we're the ac-
coutrements of warfare born by tn,
rank and file, the fighting men, the
men behind the guns as it were, and
the men upon whom the outcome of
the battle in great measure depend
ed. The sword typifies command, ii
eignalizes authority and hence it's en-
ehantment; aye, it's sacredness. 1t is
to the army what the mace is to a
legislative body, the bishops ring to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
Colonel Dunose's Governor serle.

col. John w. DuBose's very inter-
| esting articles on the governors of
Alabama, with much of history in them,
appearing in The Age-Herald, is to be
| the basis of much needed history of
the state covering a momentous time in
her affairs" said Percy Clark.
I'm the story of the convention which
nominated Col Thomas G. Jones for
governor, there is an omission of a
fact of common knowledge at the time
| in connection with the coup d'etat
which eliminated Johnston, Crook and
Richardson, and which caused Kolbism
to blaze up into a semi-revolution in
the state, which 1 will supply.
I'm the conference of the three rep
resentatives of the four candidates hav-
ing for its purpose the defeat of Kolb,
it was finally shown that each of the
other candidates, Johnston, Crook and
Richardson, could deliver their votes in
the convention to any candidate that
might be agreed upon; that Colonel
Jones, with only his home county,
Montgomery, could not deliver the vote,
but that his retirement meant this vote
would go to Kolb.
Il recall the splendid spirit and droll
humor of Colonel benson, the presiding
officer 1t was during this convention.
when the long, tall, bewhiskered chair
man of the Cof-f-e-e Gas pronounced by
the elerk) delegation, after much effort,
secured the attention of President Den
son. When recognized by the presiding
officer on "a parliamentary inquiry he
| inquired:
"'Mr. Chairman, by what rule of par
| liamentary law did you decide that
question? With loud bang of the mall
let used as a gavel. Colonel benson said,
| in deep voice, BY main strength and
awkwardnessn and the whole convention
burst into an uproar of protests and
| laughter"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
A MAN called at one of the ex-
~ changes for womens work in
= this city and asked to have
some mustache trainers made. The SUI
perintendent had never before heard
of a mustache trainer, but the ex-
change boasts that it fills all orders
and she decided that she would have
to make good the boast.
what are mustache trainers?' she
asked
From his waistcoat pocket the man
produced a contrivance, of German
manufacture. guaranteed to give an
upward twirl to the most stubborn
mustache. He had secured it, he said.
from an officer of Emperor William s
regiment of guards, and he wanted the
exchange to make him six copies. The
superintendent promised to fill his or
der and he went away content.
One of the ladies of the exchange un~
dertool< to make the articles, with
some misgivings, as she later con-
fessed. The trainers We're a success
however, and the man was so pleased
that he recommended them to all of
his friends who desired to possess a
Kaiser wilhelm mustache. The lady
now adds materially to her income by
the manufacture of these articles.
A young woman of this city makes
a living solely by dusting bric- -brao
and ornaments. Maids, she explains are
apt 20 be careless with the dusting. es-
pecially of those small articles that re-
quire extra care and attention. There
fore she decided to specialize in this
branch of housework.
The work Is lucrative, as many WON
en- who are proud of their collections
of bric-a -brac and china prefer to en-
sage the services of specialist rath-
er than to trust their treasures to the
mercies of the ordinary servant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
COAT SMOKES CIGAR

From the New York Times.
Bob Hurton. assistant keeper of the
zoo in Central park. was entering the
lion house the other afternoon when a
ycung man staggered across the walk
ane leaned against him tor support
whats the trouble?" Hurton asked.
Il think 1 have seen something. l
should have a DOCTOR the agitated vis-
itor said.
The young man explained then that, un-
less he had been the victim of an Illusion
Hurton was needed behind the animal
house.
Have the elephants broken loose?'
Eurton asked.
mo" the visitor said, But l think
saw a goat smoking a cigar
On the way to the lot back of the
elephant house Hurton met Bill Snyder,
the head keeper.
Whats this [ hear about smoking
goat?" Hurton asked mis- chief.
Snyder was perplexed by the question.
but, with Hurton, he followed the visitor
who had discovered the geological phe-
nomenon.
In the lot was Perfecto, a large ram,
presented to the menageries several days
ago by the manager of a circus. Perfecto
was standing in the center of the in
closure. There was far away look upon
his face and he was holding in his
mouth half of a cigar. In telling the
story later, Snyder said that the cigar
was burning and that ioerfecto was puff
ing away on it, in evident enjoyment
Snyder took one look al the goat and
ther he felt in the pocket of his vest
where he usually carries his cigars. The
pocket was empty.
you thief!'' he cried, shaking a fist
at the goat.
He remembered pettins Perfecto just
few minutes before, and he was of the
opinion that the goat had stolen his cigar
The animal, he explained, had been
named Perfecto because of his fondness
for tobacco. He had been taught to
smoke by the employees of the circus
But, Bill, how did he get a light?"
Hurton asked.
That's nothing said Snyder "You
remember in 1910 the case of the weep
ing grampus-"
But Bob had fed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
Wilson's Policy Concerning Mexico

During the holidays the revolution
in Mexico has undergone something of
a quietus. This may be the forerunner
of final pacification or it may be the
calm before storm. But no matter
what the present political status of
that distracted republic may presage
every day serves to attest the wisdom,
judgment and diplomacy adopted by
President Wilson in his handling of
this sensitive situation.
The laissez-faire policy may not per
Sc be the most commendable, but there
are phases of national conditions when
its application seems to be the most
expedient, and the present Mexican
muddle is one of them.
irresponsible, brutal and despicable
as the Huerta regime may be, there
is no assurance of betterment should
Carranza or Villa obtain the ascend
ency. The ability of the former scarce
| ly rises above the mediocre, and Villa
can neither read nor write. With such
creatures as these at the head of the
government no stable status of civic
affairs could be expected. Nor does
there seem to be any political Moses
| coming forward to lead the constitu-
tionalists in their hard-set pilgrimage.
With such conditions obtaining
President Wilson would after the elm
ination of Huerta probably be in as
great dilemma for the effecting of
pacification as that in which he is a.
present involved. This is the great
danger that accompanies an interfer-
ence upon the part of the United
| States or that of any other power,
With no native material available for
the proper discharge of executive
| functions, interference would in its
last analysis resolve itself into a pro
tectorate or absolute suzerainty and
nothing would be more repugnant to
the United States than such situa-
ton; in fact it would be untenable and
intolerable.
This is the pitfall that the President
is endeavoring to evade and this is
why he has so framed a policy which
to the unthinking may appear as hesi
tant and dilatory, yet which in truth
is the only course left open to one
who would avoid involving himself and
his administration in predicament
that would be fraught with impoto-' y
and subjected to ridicule.
Just so long as American interests
are not jeopardized, just so long as
American rights are respected, just SO
long as American residents are as
sured protection of life, limb and
property, and just so long as human
ity is not outraged, just so long must
we await with patience, combined
with close surveillance, the trend of
events in Mexican affairs. This is
what the wise, the just, the conserva-
tive and the patriotic would do and
this is just what President Wilson is
doing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Back From Ne. orleans

Il am just back from New Orleans
said L. P. Hill yesterday. II find that
city as delightful as of old. 1 have a
brother living near New Orleans, and
I have spent every Christmas with him
for many years past.
'Homeseekers with money TO buy
farms are arriving in Louisiana in
great droves, so to speak. That state
is well adapted to truck farming, and
many of the sugar planters will find
great profit turning their attention to
raising early vegetables Louisiana is
sure to become a great trucking state
II find that northern homeseekers are
settling near Mobile. There is great en-
thusiasm just now about the Satsuma
orange. Large orange groves are Sbe-
Ing planted in both Louisiana and in
the southern part OF Alabama The gulf
climate is said to be especially we'll
adapted to this orange 1t is a most
delicious fruit. and will always be in
brisk demand"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30

the clergy, the gonfalon to the tribes
men, the cross to the Christian.
Then again unless we except those
Viking heroes of a semi-mythologica
age, the sword was exclusively the
weapon and companion of the knight,
the leader, the nobleman, the king, and
to it became attached all the honor,
the gallantry, the majesty, even the
divinity that companions royalty AMI
attends the hero. 1t is sacred not for
itself but for that which it represent;
and symbolizes. To abolish the sword
would be to deprive military service
of much of its glamour and glory and
to that extent rob the army of it's
nerve, its enthusiasm and its eff
cheney.
This may all be pure romance, bur
romance constitutes nine-tenths of life
and under the influence of its senti
ment some of the most daring deeds
of prowess have been executed. In
spiration drawn from mental visions
of Arthur, Roland, the Cid and Charlie
magne are not to be deprecated and
the sword is as potent and defy in de
picting such visions upon the mind of
man as the brush is facile in fashion
ing them upon canvas. Let the sword
remain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting All
aepartments), Main 1900.
Things In motion sooner catch the eye
Than what not stirs.
-TroIlus and Cressida.
Interpreting Immigration Laws

Interpreting immigration Laws
The immigration laws of the United
States as interpreted by the board OF
inquiry at Ellis Island, like the China
man in the ancient catch, "are some
what peculiar" The latest ruling to
attract more than passing notice is
that fighting a duel makes citizen
of foreign country ineligible for ad-
mission to the United States. While
this may be good law on the surface
it very much resembles discrimina-
ton.
In the case in question, Emil Ter
kowitz, a banker of Budapest, Hun
gary, and one julius Birnitzer, follow
ing a quarrel by mail, engaged in a
duel at Budapest. They fired one shot
at each other, neither being struck
Now the board holds that as dueling
is felony in Hungary, Zerkowitz can
not enter the United States. His de-
portation was ordered but he appealed
to the immigration officials in Wash
ington.
There is hardly doubt but that his
appeal will be acted upon favorably
if there is no other reason than the
one stated for denying him admission.
With the recent admission of Cipriano ,
Castro, Jose Zelaya, and Emmaline
Pankhurst into the United States
= Washington can scarcely do anything
else.
Mrs. Pankhurst was admittedly
guilty of melting to riot and arson
and had served or partly served sew
eral terms in English jails; Zelaya,
one of the worst types of Latin-Amer-
lean despots, with his hands dyed moi
only with the blood of his fellow
countrymen but stained by the death
of two American citizens and fugi
tive from his native land, was ad-
mitted; Castro, the ex-Venezuelan die
tator, also guilty of the slaughter OF
men and also fugitive from his coun.
try, was admitted. Zerkowitz is
guilty of nothing resembling this. Hi;
only offense is the firing of shot al
man who had insulted him, repre-
hensible it is true, but not to such ar
extent.
If such things are possible unde,
the immigration laws, and it seems
they are, the immigration laws should
be changed in order that we may D
consistent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
CARNEGIE LIKES PANCAKES

From the Washington Herald.
Andrew Carnegie leaving the institution
on the Avenue of the Presidents thai
bears his name, strolled down the broad
avenue yesterday afternoon and vi
vaciously discussed the beauties of Wash
irgton, the value of her real estate-wish-
irg that he had money to buy some'.-
the award of the Nobel prize to Elihu
Root. the tariff, the American people and
the men and things in general.
He made frequent street corner stops
to admire a new building or the way the
setting sun touched the edge of cloud
He spoke of the financial outlook and
mentioned a possible money stringency
but was sure the hardy qualities of the
Americans would bridge any difficulty
He learned for the first time of the
existence of Childs restaurant. and ne
stopped to watch the artist in white flop
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
VIII BE "a Great Year

we have had many good years in
this district" said a successful busi-
ness man, and the year just. closing
was one of them. but 1 believe that
1914 win be a record breaker in pros
perity.
"rhe whole country viii witness gem
uine prosperity, and the Birmingham
district will make notable advances In
the industrial field. The great wire mill
at Fairfield, just completed at a cost of
several million dollars, will begin OPP
erations in January. 1t Will be an
immense factor In the industrial ac-
tivitIes of the district and will be but
one of many finished steel product
plants coming a little later on. Yes
according to all indications the year
1914 will be the best in Birmingham $
history"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30

20 as to indicate accurately how thoy
are pl onounced. Besides, there are hun
dreds of ways of pronouncing each
character, there are hundreds of
spoken dialects in China, although tho
book language is the same throughout
the country. How is it possible 70 send
a telegram In such a country Ind such
language? The difficulties have been
overcome, and 1t is really less trouble
and less expensive to send a message
In Chinese than IN English
The telegram published herewith Will
There is in every Chinese telegram
office special dictionary. or catslor
or code book. whatever you choose Ia
call It in which the characters ara num-
bered from one one up. A total num-
Der of 1899 may be catalogued uodar
the present system. A certain number
or blank spaces have been reserved to
add special characters from time to
time The sender Of the telegram simp-
iy writes hts message in the usual
way. The operator will probably know
the numbers of most of the charac
ters. II not he can readily find them
in the catalog. For each character he
sends five Morse signals. e. e., 5e13.
0Ol5. GALA. which represents the char
acters Yuan Shi Kai," the name Of
his eXcellency, the President of China.
1t VIII at once appear that only 10 diff
ferent characters are needed for tel
egraphing 1900 different characters In
Chinese. BY splitting up an unusual
character into its common parts 1t may
be easily sent. Private codes are read
lily prepared with this system. Already
the chief cities of the country. and
many small places, have telegraph or
fices. 1t is hoped that under tho re-
publican form of government the whole
service will be extended. improved and
made less expensive.
In addition to the ordinary wiro
service, China now has several power
full wireless stations. and arrangements
are being made to cN4er tie Country
with them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
Alabama's Great Cotton Crop

Alabama's cotton crop turned out
to be much larger than the most glow
ing estimates of unbiased statisticians
made it appear month or two ago.
In the late summer when cotton was
lmaturing an estimate of 1,350,000
was considered liberal; but now comes
the census bureau which shows that
this state has already ginned 1,444, ,297
bales, which is IA per cent more than
the crop of 1912, and the high price
which the farmers have received
brings many more millions of dollars
into the state than the highest record
crop, that of 1911, brought. The Ala
bama crop will probably reach
100000 bales.
In the normal planting time the
excessive rains made planting very
late; but Providence was kind, and
favorable weather throughout the
summer made it easy for the growing
crop to catch up.
But it was almost laughable to hear
some of the farmers who had planted
large areas croak and say they would
have practically no cotton. The coun-
ty most persistent in its undertaking
reports, perhaps, was Geneva. The
August estimate from that county was
stated at 1900 bales. The highest
estimate that anyone made of the
Geneva crop was about 10000 bales.
The government finds that Geneva has
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
A COMMON AILMENT.

From the Wall Street Journal.
A story now going the rounds In
Wall street is considered apropos by
certain brokers. 1t is told in this
way:
A man wen; to we'll known stom-
ach specialist in New York and conf
planned of mysterious pains in his
stomach. The doctor looked him over,
and finally gave him three small tab
let's, one of which he was to take each
night for three nights, and then he
was to report to his advisor
When the time limit expired the pa
tient appeared.
Doctor he said II am no bettec
In fact, l might say l am worse"
WELL" replied the physician. 81
must investigate this case thoroughly.
What is your age?"
Forty five"
What is your business?"
'I am a stock broker"
A light broke over the doctors face.
We'll" he cried, now I know what
is the matter with you. You need a
square meal. Here, take this dollar and
get a good filling in"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30

ginned 33,609 bales, and this large
volume of cotton places it third in the
list of the cotton producing counties
of the state. 1t may be that the
Geneva farmers purposely talked
blue Maybe they are merely over
cautious lest they should overestimate;
maybe they practice the system of
undertaking SO as to be on the safe side
and perchance give themselves agree
able surprises; or is it that the
Genevans have the old idea that poor
crop talk bulls the market? which
means better prices for the farmers.
But IN this progressive age when
scientific statisticians and alert crop
agents represent the United States
government it is hard to keep real
conditions from the public.
But everybody in this state will
feel like congratulating Geneva on its
big cotton crop in year that for a
time promised very short yield of
cotton. Let's all take off our hats
to Geneva, and hurrah, too, for the
cotton farmers of the state at largel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
Musical Att,actions

Our firm had the option or Pad
erewslSi and on the Flonzally quartet
but we have turned these great attrac-
tions over to the Music Study club" said
j. e. Shelby, president of the Cable
Shelby Burton Piano Co.
The Music Study ladies make a sue
cess nowadays Of everything they un-
dertake and they should be exceptional
ly successful with the two attractions
named. Paderewski comes in February
and the Flonzallys in March-Monday
March Q"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
HICKORY SWITCH
FROM the Milwaukee Wisconsin.

FROM the milwaukee wisconsin.
Vice President Marshall, at discussion
in Washington on corporal punishment
world to early spankngs.
II cannot recall" he said, "any specific
case just now, but I got in round numbers
about 500 lickings / never got spanked
in the graded school, though. Mine were
all of the home talent variety, person
ally conducted by my mother, a good old
fashioned Presbyterian, who believed In a
liberal use of the rod.
II recall that when I went to school |
tried to avoid punishment, for if l got
whipped there l was sure to get another
at home. My philosophy was not so much
to avoid doing wrong as to avoid the Sec
ond whipping"
Secretary Daniels got his worst lick
ing, for celebrating too highly the birth
of his country. Back in 1876. on the
Fourth OF July, he was assigned to hoe
in the garden of the old homestead down
In North Carolina. That was too much
for his patriotic spirit, and he rugged up
his cannon, with which he intended 10
BlOr11y tne Gay, ana SliOL the SdIueH INTO
fragments.
while mother said she admired tie
fine American spirit of the affair." the
Secretary said, there were certain other
PHASES. and I got mine."
Dr. Wil'iam M. Davidson. superintend-
:. ashington public schools, says
- pgs came with such rapidly
into bac
'h5T remember either the first or the last.
'If there is any good in me lay it first
to baptism, and second to the strap" the
Right Rev. w. T. Russell sale. II don t
care to make confession to the public,
but l was virtually hammered into shape
Secretary Morrison of the Federation of
Labor, got his strappings as a boy, and
he says that If he had it to do over again
he would prefer them to the mental
kumiliations inflicted upon the children of
today.
Admiral George Dewey declares he was
never licked by the enemy at home or
abroad. II have been mildly chastised.
like all other boys" the admiral said,
''but l cannot recall any specific time that
1 was spanked"
He attributes his escape to the fact that
he was brought up in Vermont. where
children aren't whipped as much as in
other localities.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
a PRESENTIMENT

Last night | dreamed I played at chess
AS much to my surprise
A bishop black swept down NV nose.
a knight forked both my eyes.
Two rocks upon my forehead sat;
A queen perched on my chin,
And when I oped my mouth to yawn
The pawns all tumbled in.
L gave my opponent a CHECK"
My dream was then arrested
And in the morning mail I read
Your check has been protested"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-30
THE STORY TELLER OF CATANIA

From the Wide World Magazine.
Catania is noted for its professional
story tellers, one of whom came across
surrounded by a crowd of men, who
appeared to be completely absorbed In
the story of the moment. AS passersby
are at liberty to plant themselves in
the chairs provided by the story teller
and need not pay anything unless they
feel inclined, this business would seem
to be rather precarious one.
1t was at Catania that l observed two
men solemnly engaged in the unique oc-
cupation of washing hay-why, / can
not say Driving their carts into an arm
of the sea, they gravely took off their
trousers, and then, throwing the hay
into the water, jumped in and washed
it. This done. they reloaded the hay
on to the carts, and departed for an
Other consignment. Three times did /
see them perform this novel task