The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1913-03-05
MOST COMPETENT CAT
BY ALEX sAYRE.

8TOb0 hHu blTetCucu ltbell III al ~
sultingly careless manner. then gazed
out Of the window, oblivious of
Denkins.
'If 1t is true that care killed a cat"
muttered Denkins, then I say bully
for care!" .. .--I
BY nature Denkins was not at all
blood-thirsty. He loved his fellow
mon and had been known to buy
candy for babies, but he hated that
cat. It was In the flrst place. a tramp
cat. the sort one would be ashamed
to claim as member Of ones family.
No amount of cream and chops ever
could have made 1t look like anything
else than a mongrel. The family had
intimated in every possible way to
the cat that Its presence was undesir-
able, but the animal remained OBJ
livious to all hints. Denkins was ap-
palled to realize the force of its
sheer persistency.
why, II had one-tenth the per
sistency Of that cat" he told callers
one evening. Il should now be push
ing Pisrpont Morgan OF the map or
should be president of the United
States. That cat has simply made
up its mind to camp here and nothing
can prevent It. II we lock It outdoors
It claws open q basement window and
II we lock the basement windows Il
ascends the woodbine trellis and sits
on the bedroom window ledge and
yowls or else raises the screens and
comes in triumphantly. It approves
Of the butcher and grocer with whom
We trade and nothing else matters.
It 10 truly an awful thing to b adopt.
Cd BY . cati" a4t-..a o.. va. -1Al
When the Denkins family decided
TO be away for some weeks. Mrs.
Denkins announced that the cat must
be killed. She said II was not human
to 60 away and leave II to starvs
to death. a. II surely would, II neg
lected.
"Starve!" echoed Denkins. scorn-
fully. why. that cat. dropped on .
desert island composed entirely of
lava rock and coral reefs and dyna-
mite. would root out . living for It.
self"
Il don't care" persisted his wife.
81 wouldn't enjoy a minute OF my
thing back here starving helplessly.
You've got to put 1t out of its misery"
Very WE'LL" agreed Denkins. "And
that'll put me out Of mine. will
chloroform It,"
The next time Denkins had . few
moments to spare he assembled the
wash boiler. . sponge and . bottle of
chloroform and hypocritically called:
Kitty. kitty! Nice kitty!" Then
when the animal was trustingly with
In his grasp he deposited It in the
boiler with the deadly sponge. To his
surprise the cat did not stay there.
but came out a. he withdrew his arm.
He barely caught the escaping ami
nal by the hind paw. It scratched
wildly.
"Here!" said Denkins severely.
You 90 back in there and stayi"
Then Denkins learned something.
The cover to . wash boiler IL an in
lexible object and raising It enough
o get his arm out meant raising all
me side Of It. That afforded room
or six cats to slip out II necessary.
He let his arm hang inside rs he
neditated upon the situation and the
at scuffied about Indignantly. Final
y It planted its claws in Denkins'
,are wrist. Denkins yelled and 5erked
nut his arm. The cat came. too. and
made . gray streak through the At
nosphere.
For two weeks after that Whenever
oenkins appeared the cat at once
rose and with obvious dislike left
he room. Tho speed with which II
eft depended In some degrees upon
he speed with which Denkins pur.
Tusd. Usually the chase ended in the
sat's leaping to the top Of the furnace.
There It was out Of reach. There
t. green eyes shone maliciously a. II
would sit and wave It's tail and taunt
Denkins silently.
He could think Of nothing else e1.
sept killing that cat. 80 when he
walked into the living room and found
The cat curied up in . ball asleep in
the very last chair he gasped with
the suddenness Of the thought that
came to him.
Kitty" no said, 1T strikes me that
you would Just about At into . pail
I'll sss."
Tiptosing to the kitchen. he got Q
pail and the sponge and chloroform
and with the sponge inside the pail
he olapped II down over the cat and