Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-01-03

fool anybody.
Liver-A food used by the very
rich.
Lizard-One who belongs to the OPP
posite political party.
Lobster-Party who believes it when
the young woman tells him he is the
only man she ever kissed.
LOckjaw-An affection that never
happens to the feminine sex.
Loon-Young gent who writes love
letters.
FROM THE HICKEYVILLE
CLARION.
There is several kinds of molly-cod-
dies, but they all wear passionate socks
smoke cigarets.
If Andrew Carnegie really wants to
die poor, he might try writing for the
magazines.
There amt a campaign orator In the
business who couldn't make more
money selling patent medicine.
The difference between Il statesman
has got the job.
1t rained cats and dogs the other day
and they had veal stew for dinner at
the huttel.
If there is any job more ticklish than
climbin' through Il barb wire fence, it
is that of eXpressin' your honest opin-
ion of your wife's folks.
Ii is getting SO nowadays you can't
tell from Il feller's clothes and hair cut
whether he is Il rube or a genius.
You kin tell i; carpenter by his chips,
and, by gravy, you kin tell a poker
player the same way.
There amt amy style about some fell
lers. .Abner Hanks, of our town. drives
around in his spring wagon until way
late in the fall.
If they ever adopt that elastic cur
rency in this country, l suppose a fell
Ter will have plenty of money to buy
Suspenders.
A one-armed man. selling lead pen
ellis, was in u midst Wednesday
night.
L. E,gbert Peavey has got a new
plug hat which folds up like the bellers
at Jed Frink's blacksmith shop. For
EVERYDAY use he wear it shet. but
opens it up to the last notch like a
cab driver for polite social functions.
He saws 1t Is an Opry hat, but nobody
around here has heard it play a tune
yet. | guess r. Egbert got stung on
the opry part of it.
Old Man Purdy has got a new cork
tip on his wooden leg and is now ono
Of the best pool players in our midst.
William Ttbbitts has got a new cod
fish nut ir front of his grocery store.
Hank Tumm dog stole the last one
and run off with it down the rud
More than half of it was spoiled for
sale before being r%ecaptured.
tSar ferotnano the Crafty.
Sydney Brooks in Harper's Weekly.
For the past Is years Ferdinand has
been the absolute ruler of the state. Al
the III of his accession no one
would have given him six months pur-
chase of his throne. Yet today his
throne is as secure as any in Europe.
10 have secured this is in itself a feat
that cannot be explained away. In the
face of incredible obstacles he has
achieved everything on which his heart
was set. He began as an unrecognized
prince: he is today d full fledged king.
He found a hostile Russia and he has
forced it's appreciation. Yes. say his
detrac,ors. but at what a cost? At the
cost of removing Stambouloff and of
handing over his son Boris. whom he
had solemnly sworn to educate as a
catholic. to the Orthodox church. There
are those who declare that the keynote
of his whole character is an utter lack
of honor and principle: that he belongs
In spirit to the middle ages; that his
political life has been simply a series
of cunning and fortunate 9tratagems;
teMatic corruption and implicit black
matling; n that his selfishness, cold
ness of heart, s~ecretiveness, his dia-
bolicai pleasure in exploiting the worst
parts OF human nature, his bitter,
scoring temper, his distrust of ali
GAsAAp AAO GeAhSy W 10 III
most q form of neurasthenia. and
his outbursts of brutal passion render |
him the most repulsive figure on the
stage of European politics. Yet even
they are forced to admit that there are
other and more pleasing aspects to the
character OF the Bulgarian tsar. He
is endowed with qualities" cOnfesses
one of the cleverest n most persistent
of his a~ssailants. (which, though SUI
perflcfal, are useful and ornamental.
When interest prompts, or the within
takes him. he ear throw aside his
moroseness. talk with vivacity. argue /
with p~lausibility, n delight his hear
ers with lively sallies and poignant
anecdotes. At such times he spirits
are high. his name charming. his
sensibility quick. and his enthusiasm
seemingly spontaneous. Then his con- +
versation sparkles. prettily turned
compliments and beautifully combed
from a horn OF plenty. Hence h very |
different Impressions which Ferdinand
makes pom his hearers according to
h mood in which he chances to be
when they see him."
Pop" Wilson bought a new set of
cu%ltivator teeth three weeks ago last
Wednesday. The Clarion hopes he
set at. the range picnic last August
while trying to get away with a quar-
ter section OF Grandma J0rdan's mince
pie.
There was TO be = magic lantern
show at the 0pry house last night, but
the IAdtees Aid got next and put the
I'D on. There - such q thing as car
ry1ng reform o far. When q thing
like the checker game In the rea of a 4
drug oeote n allowed I o 20 ON without
inter1orence. 1t ooen1D like straining at
q cAme!-and ovvelSowSng Q Hnat to stop |