davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
Hard Test,

Fred Poor of the supply department
of the p~ostoffice has been committing
this winter between here and a town
just north Of Lawrence. One day,
wearied from a late business engage
ment the night before, he fell asleep
in the seat and was in sound slumber
when the train passed the bridge in
sight Of the falls at Lawrence. An en-
thusiastic fellow passenger, going over
the road for the first time, was so in
terested at the sight of the splashing
water that he thought it a pity the
young man should be deprived of he
opportunity to witness the scene. And
so he awakened Poor out of sound
sleep that he might behold it. Consid-
ering that he had seen the falls twice
daily for months, 1t required a rare
summoning Of amiability to look
pleased. But he did so.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
COULDN'T CORNER THE QUACK
Very Evident He Was Used to Getting
Into and Squirming Out of Ex-
ceedingIy Tight Places.

A correspondent of the Lancet tells
of a man who, when he went to a
"quack" and complained of a sharp
pain in the loins after sitting on damp
grass for some hours, during which
he frequently sucked the point of the
lead pencil with which he was writ
ing, was told that he was suffering
from "plumbism," and given some
pills. The next day he returned to
the "quack" and said:
"You told me l had 'plumbism,
which is lead poisoning and I now
find there is no lead in lead pencils,
only graphite of plumbago."
"Oh," replied the "quack," airily,
"did I say plumbism is the of
your lumbism? l meant to have said
plumbago is the cause of your lum-
bago."
"Oh," said the man, "but anyhow,
your pills are only bread"
"Of course" replied the "quack.'
Don't You know that break is the old
est and finest thing to remove pencil
marks within"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
SEEMED LIKE A REFLECTION
Under the Circumstances Doctor
Needed Strong Sense Of Humor to
Avert a Brainstorm.

A certain doctor, who is, or his own
frank admission, 'the ugliest man in
four counties" has a keen sense of
humor which enables him to enjoy
many real and unconscious reflections
upon his facial deficiencies.
Once, after he had arrived too late
to succor a poor woman who had been
killed in a factory, the local newspa-
per published an ambiguous account
Of the case, which the doctor, with
grim appreciation, preserved.
Having first described how the WON
an had come by her injuries, the para
graph went on to say:
Strong hopes were entertained of
saving her life until Doctor P ar
rived; but these hopes unfortunately
proved ill-founded, for the moment
the doctor showed his face within the
door the poor woman fell back with a
gasp and expired"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
BRUSSELS VERY GAY.
BeIglum's Capital Is Called the
Little Paris"
Writer Declares Name Is Well De
served, for Like French City, II
10 Very Beautiful and
Full Of Life.

Paris.-They call Brussels the Lit
tie Paris" 1t well deserves its name,
for like Paris it is very beautiful and
very gay. Indeed the people here
never seem to go to bed at all, for at
one and two o'clock in the morning the
streets are still thronged with people.
Men and women were standing on
the curb even at that late hour selling
papers that were covered with num-
bers. They we're crying out their
wares in Flemish and the papers were
going very fast. We found out after
wards that these papers were lottery
tickets and a fine automobile was to
be the prize for the lucky one.
At our hotel the music played all
night long, and we could hear the
shutting of the dancers, the clicking OF
the glasses and the laughter of the
women. When we got up next morn
ing at six o'clock to make a train for
Cologne we found that many of the
guests had not yet left.
The dining room was about half full
of men and women-who looked
we'll, rather tired, but vivacious still
and they we're having just one more
little drink-yes, yes-before they
went home.
Brussels Is divided into two parts
an upper and a lower section. The
latter is the old part of the city and
the commercial center, where are all
the big shops and theaters. In the up
per part is the royal palace, the fine
residences and the government build
ings.
On the hill which divides these two
sections is built the largest building in
Europe, the Palais de Justice. Its pc
sition at the top of a hill only goes te
emphasize its bigness,s but the proper
lions are perfect. 1t reminds n 6
little of the st. Peters at Rome, only
it seems much larger. The inside Ii
Just as colossal as the outside, having
gigantic stairways and great columns
The royal palace is another immense
building, being one Of the finest in Eu
rope. 1t was built by King Leopold
who was a much more popular mon
arch than the present king.
The splendid thoroughfare, Avenue
Louise, is also located in the new par
of the town. 1t is tastefully laid ou
with flower beds and decorated b.
statues of many famous Belgians.
Part way down the hill to the oil
part Of the town stands a wonderful
church, the Cathedral of st. Gudule. l
has two towers in front, like Notr'
Dame in Paris. 1t is an imposing ant
splendid monument of the religious ar
which constituted the glory Of the mic
die ages.
In the old part Of the city is n o
the most famous squares in Europe
Grand Place-on which every hous
and stone has a history of its owr
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
Too Lono to Wait.

At the American Electric Railway
associations convention in Atlantic
City John Morse Rogers, the Omaha
statistician, said:
1T is too early yet for the three.
cent fare. The trolley roads stand to
ward the ~three.cent fare as old Gobsa
Code stood toward the beautiful type
writer girl.
1T wasn't Gobsa Codes age that
lost him the beautiful girls hand
Gobsa swore he would love and cher
ish her till death, but she shook her
head. She didn't tell him he was toe
old, though. No, indeed. She told him
he was too young!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
Rising in His Profession.

How is your son getting along-I
mean the musical one, who went to
New York city to seek his fortune?'
asked the village parson at Hohokus
of one of his parishioners, a widowed
mother of a family Of boys.
Fine, SIP, thank you" replied the
old dame. Il had a postal card from
him sayin' as how he is conductin'
now"
Indeed, that is excellent news. And
what band is he conducting?"
He didn't say, sir, except that it's
on the Belt line, somewhere around
the river front"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
DOG SPENT 10 DAYS IN WELL
CANNES Frantic Yelps Finally Attract.
ed the Attention Of a Kan.
sas Farmer.

Wichita, Kan.-For 10 days and
nights neighbors >of H. D. Wait, a
farmer BAL Towanada, Kan, heard
yelps and barking which some be-
lieved due to prairie wolves or coy
otes, while some ventured that they
came from a second hound of the
B~askervilles. While passing through
an abandoned lot Mr.. Wait located
the sounds at the bottom of a dry
well. His Scotch collie had fallen
into the well 10 days before and was
Just able to make himself heard.
Wait drew him out and is feeding
him back to life, his ribs being the
most prominent part of him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
To Clean 4 sponoe.

For sponges that have become
Shiny it is found by treating them in
the following manner makes them as
good as new: Get a basin, fill it with
boiling water and a little washing
soda, then put the sponge into this
and leave it for several hours. When
this Is finished rinse in plain hot wa
ter, afterward rinsing in cold. Leave
the sponge in the cold water until you
are ready to use 1t again.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
CONSEQUENCES HIT 3 PEOPLE
Treasury at Washington Gets Six Dol
lars and Four Stamps for
Its Odd Fund.

Washington.-In the number Of con
tributors. even II not in the volume
Of additions, to the conscience fund.-
of the government. a field day was re-
Gently had. Three victims of the
"wee sma' voice" sent in their re-
turns to the trade.
From the wealth Of New York
came I'VE dollars and four two-cent
stamps. From Portsmouth, N. H., one
dollar was sent by a person who is
making himself right with the gov
eminent on the installment plan. He
alrendy has made several small con.
tributlons.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

When the horns Of the noon are
clearly discernible by the naked eye
1t means that there is nothing in the
atmosphere to obscure them. An at
mosphere as clear as this generally
indicates that It has been swept by
the winds in the upper ether, aud
these winds will probably reach the
earth before long.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
Small Boys Performance.

A pair of engaged lovers had spent
some time on the moonlit veranda.
Presently the young lady babe her Wis
itor goodby, and, on her way up to bed,
stepped into the nursery to kiss her
beloved little nephew.
|. "Auntie," inquired the sleepy but de-
voted urchin, his arms around her,
why don't you make MI. Dick smell
like your perfume, stead O. smelling
like his baccy?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

A couple of pickpockets had been
following a rich-looking la for some
minutes, when they saw him enter a
lawyers office. What shall we do
now?" asked one. wait for the law
yer, replied the other. Hell have
the swag and the other fellow the
empty pockets
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
What's the Answer2

What gives us u sense Of loathing
for the garden toad, demurely useful
little neighbor that he has proved him.
self, while his second cousin, the frog
who seems to do nothing but play the
dandy and the braggart, is uniformly
treated as a good fellow? If the toad
gulped and croaked all night long, and
made his home in Shiny pools instead
of in the melon patch, would they re
verse their present order in our IS.
teem?-Atlantic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

The Hotel de Vile, which occupies
n side Of the square, is n Of the
most magnificent edifices in the world.
1t is very much ornamented with
statues and pillars. On the top Is a
gigantic "St. Michael overcoming the
Devil" which acts as a weather vane
and seems to soar over the city which
he protects.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

Farmers must cooperate in fight
ing the chinch bug pest. The pest
migrates on wing in the fall and in
the spring, so that farms completely
freed from 1t in the fall will be over
run the following spring. The college
of agriculture of the University Of
Missouri will supply information con-
corning the chinch bug.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

Mrs. Duff Ito new maid)-"But,
Mary, there are only two in the fam
lily, Mr.. Duff and myself. Why have
you set places for three?n The New
Maid-"Sure, ma'am, II was the cook
that told me you had a pianer player
in the house."-Harper's Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
His Sensible Attitude.

us you comm to pra'r meetin' to-
night, Brud' Dinger?" inquired old
Parson Gagster.
"Well-uh. no, sab! I reggin not" was
the reply. ITO tell de troof, pahson,
rs amin to go to de minstrel show
done got a Complementary ticket"
"Brud' Dinger, dar won't be no min
strel shows in heaven"
Den, If dat's de case, sab, I'm sho'
gwine tonight, whilst muh tickets
good!"-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

If farmers will cooperate in fight
ing bugs in summer few will succeed
in reaching corn or other crops.
Where careful summer work is not
done, warns of bugs will collect dur.
ing the fall in meadows and pastures,
in bunch grass and other grasses. All
such harboring places should be
burned over in early winter. The
burning does away with the swarms
which fly to wheat in the spring.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

Al man will let you marry his
daughter when he doesn't know your
middle name. But IL you give his doe
a bone he'll examine It carefully tc
make sure there Is no poison on 1t.
Cincinnati enquirer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
Busy.

Gimme that watch" demanded the
crook.
II would, old fellow" replied the
victim, but really l can't spare the
time"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18
putting Il Clearly.

"Rastus, what's a alibi?" Oats
provin' dat yoh was at a prayer meet
In whar yoh wasn't, in order to SHOW
dat yoh wasn't at de crap game whar
yoh was."-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

hrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces innamma.
ion,allays pain,cures wind collie, Csc a bottleAA
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

Ethel-So Dolly and Jack are in
lover?
Mabel-Yes; two souls without a
single thought.-Chicago News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

They stop the tickle-Dean's Mentho-
lated Cough Drops stop coughs by stop
ping the cause-5c at Drug Stores.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

The horse succumbs to an intensely
cold temperature sooner than any
other animal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

BUY OF GROWER, choice reclaimed, nOn-ir-
rigated 1913 Alfalfa seed $3.50 per bu., sacks
free. Ben Wilson, II. 8, Winfield. Kansas.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-12-18

DO you believe opposites attract?"
well, everybody said | was a love
ly girl and yet l married you"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09
SAD DEATH
LAST NIGHT
SISTER OF FORMER MAYOR DA-
VID II. DAWSON DIED OF CON.
GESTIVE CHILL.

Miss Mary E Dawson, sister Of
former Mayor David H. Dawson, died
ct the home Of her brother in this
city last night at 1925. For three
weeks she lad been a sufferer from
bilious fever and was getting along
nicely and no serious results were ex-
pected when she suffered a congest
i've chill and passed away. She was
making her home with her brother
and was helping him in the rearing
OF his children. following the loss OF
his wife. Three Of the children were
sufferers from bilious fever and the
baby. two yeArs OF age, has been very
i'll OF cholera in.antum combined with
the fever. The children however,
are all much better and Mr.. Dawson
will leave here with the remains OF
his sister. The remains will be taken
to Montgomery county, Maryland
where they will be buried in tie fam
ily cemetery in that state. Services
are TO be held at the home Of Mr.
Dawson this afternoon at four o'clock,
conducted by Rev. Weith OF the Pres
byterian church and Dr.. Gray OF the
Methods, church. Deceased was an
attendant Of the VI. Z. church. Sic
has been living here for the past TWO
) years. the greater portion of the time
with her sister, Mrs. A. ]. Lee. For
the past eight years she has visited
here at intervals and is we'll known
in tits city.
Mr.. Dawson has had very trying
time; since the 2nd of June he has
been confined TO his home nursing the
sick and his children are not well
enough now TO admit OF his going
away With the remains OF his siste-
but there is no other relative here 70
them. Mr.. Lee and his
family are in California and the other
members Of the family live on tn
Atlantic coast.
The remains were prepared for
by c. Boone TaNaferro.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09
HIRING TEACHERS.

Mistakes Z The selection OF teach
e-s and Other professional sc1oo. en-
-Ioyes aye made most frequently be-
cause sc1oc. hoard members forge,
the principles Which are essential and
consider only e1V-5.slly or false
economy jus. AZ the present tine
the letter addressed by State super
.1.e-de-, ?. C. Blair 10 tie school
boards of Illinois. Is suggestive. !;
reads.
Electric Signs may hur- the eyes and
offend the TASTE bur they DO attract
attention and fix the idea During
The next f-v weeks. while boards OF
education are employing teachers for
the coming year. il might be good
thing 70 place before every school
Guiding. and especially before tie
board O.: education rooms, signs flash
.uz forth such sentiments as:
Schools are established for the chill.
dren. no, 70 furnish Jobs for teachers.
Schools are not charitable institu-
,.ons TO provide support for infirm
or needy persons. The rights and
needs ot the children are paramount
TO the needs and right Of any indi-
y.dual You we're elected 10 protect
the rights and interests Of tie chill
dren. a poor teacher is an educa-
tional and financial loss. The en-
ployment Of good teachers is your
best service to the district. Select
every teacher as If she were 10 teach
your children. Expensive school
houses with cheap teachers are hol
low mockeries. Every dollar raised
By taxation should give a dollars
worth Of opportunity to the children.
4 few dollars extra to keep a strong
teacher is wise economy. Politics
mixed with school administration in
jures both
While most boards of education con-
form to the essentials OF these formal
statements, it may be worth while for
every one TO read them.-School
Board Journal.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09
4 NOVEL CELEBRATION.
Main Street 70 be 8 Picnic Ground.
Plans Now Maturing.

The Commercial Club IS planning
to celebrate Ardmore's anniversary
July 2S and % in rather an unusual
way. If the city will grant its per-
mission Main street will be made the
picnic grounds. concessions will be
sold. stands built in the streets, a
company will be engaged. a
big barbecue will be served prob
ably in the Sammons building on
a speakers platform VII
be erected in the heart of the city,
the picture shows will be operated
morning. noon and night. the balloon
ascension will be made on the fed
eral building site and for two days
the city will celebrate as ii never has
before. Merchants will keep barrels
of ice water inNront Of their stores.
buildings will be arranged for rest
rooms for the women and children
and ten thousands people will minglc
o. the streets during the day and
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09
TIE BILL BOARD EVIL.

r. Al ordnance regulating the
billboard evil become effective
II San Francisco yesterday. The
purpose q this law is to limit the
number O. 1ul-boa-ds within tie city
limits. and to ooafLne them TO certain
localities. AL bln-boards in future
canno; exceed ten feet il height
There can never be a beautiful city
anywhere so long as these hideous
signs proclaim q people IN whom the
artistic spin, battles ya-nly with a
liberation Of untidiness.
Throughout the west the most beau
utul scenes are disEgur with signs
advertising every conceivable brand
Of goods. only in Yellowstone ma
tional park has the government pre-
vented the invasion Of the billboard.
The beautiful Rockies about Colo
rado Springs have been grotesquely
pictured with painted signs which
stand out as d plorable blot on the
beauties Of nature.
The billboard evil has been a
source Of municipal annoyance In
Memphis.
Nowhere in the United States can
there be found a more beautiful drive
than the Parkway 1t is the pride OF
Memphis and the delight Of all Yis-
itors. One by one bill-boards lave
been erected along this drive. OF
course they are prohibited on Park
way property, but there is no law
which prohibits the billboard man
from renting space on private prop
city upon which to build his insight
y boards.
From the railroad trains through the
most wonderful scenic sections Of the
United States can be iound these dis
figuring boards Just as the eye be-
comes fascinated with some scenic
enchantment, and the mind drifts
naturally toward poetic thoughts, one
is rudely awakened to the fact that
this is a practical, prosaic, CONNER
cial world after all.
II is a growing industry. this post
ing Of bills, and it is no doubt an
effective method of ADVERTISING but
there should be a limit placed on
the evil somewhere.
No spot is too sacred for the bin
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09
TARIFF LEADERS
IN BOTH PARTIES
CHAIRMAN SIMMONS TURNS
SMOOTH TRICK on SENATOR
SMOOT BY WAITING.

Washington. July t.-Seua-0r Sim
mons. chairman Of the finance com a..
mit,ee. turned a tricz on republican
leaders when be got his hands on
a lengthy analysis O, the democratic
tariff BILL which had been prepared
under direction Of Senator smoot,
pointing on, what the republicans
claim are serious defects in the
measure.
Senator smoot had delayed for a
month the introduction o. the analy-
sis. despite inz.Etelce q Senator Sim
mons that {; be printed On the las
day of the caucus. when the repub-
Icans were assured the democrats
were through with the bill. Senator
Smoot consented 70 send the docu-
ment in for the printer But the
democrats have not yet printed their
bill and have a day OF two 70 make
corrections and laugh al their oppo-
uents. inssmuch as debate viii not
begin until next week
knowing that the republican docu-
meut might contain valuable pointers,
Senator Simmons directed the finance
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09

The protracted meeting, which be-
San last Saturday three weeks. closed
IN the mission hall Sunday night. The
last weeks services held by Brother
Dixon, were very edifying to all The
services will continue in the future.
as before the meeting, viz: Services
every Thursday and Sunday nights.
Sunday school every Sunday afternoon
at o'clock.
We were we'll pleased with full
house of our dear children last Sun
day afternoon and they enjoyed their
nice treat of fruit. furnished by Mr..
Dawson.
Everybody welcome at this mission.
\ CHRISTIAN WORKER.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09

sub to go over their
schedules Tuesday, while he pored
over the Smoot analysis to check up
with the sub committee Wednesday.
Senator Simmons heard some weeks
ago that the republican leaders had
cautioned Senator Smoot TO hold back
the analysis. Don't send it in yet, "
they urged, 1t will give Us away"
Then the finance committee chair
man determined to lay in wait for
the document and Tuesday he pounced
on II before it went TO the printing
Office. He found the result Of SEN
ator Smoo-'s careful labors of d
month. aided by corp Of experts and
assistants. He said some Of the an
alyses point out errors that could
be corrected. but that much Of the
document was found TO be argument.
The b.ll probably will not go 70
the printer until Wednesday night, As
the sub committees still are checking
up for corrections. Meanwhile Sena-
tor Simmort is completing the COM
mittee report on the measure.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09

poster 70 slap with h.s paste and
brush
E.zoric Highways are decorated o.
eac1 s-de with posters.
ne pay for suffering he sigh; O;
uasizhtly Pos,ers Il diminishing
appreciation c: the subtle Sea1,les
20. only il the masterpieces O. paint
ing and sculpture, b-t Il The slo-lt :
o.. -a.--e herself The me-es; dal3
VIII soU1 satisfy the nan who has
learned 20 endure the U-s-Sht-y BILL
board The eye is tie greatest o! orr
gifts and sao1.t bs .ezlocsly guarded.
-Ccn-e-c.sl AqPezL
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-07-09

,Ae New Euzia-de-s hut today the
reo-.e are growing more liberal they
are uo7e friendly 10 an-sements. they
realize cha: recreation -s IS neces
say 70 he2l,h and happiness and 10
success SIS labor 5. The most ear
rest and honest worker Is the man
who gets the most enjoyment from
lis day Of recreation The sabbath
70 as made for man