The Ekalaka eagle. [volume] (Ekalaka, Mont.) 1909-1920, 1913-08-08

and raises whiskers. Yes: laziness and
whiskers was what done the trick.
They travel together. You ever hear
of a man with long whiskers and hair
striking a bonanza?
"Now, this Alice didn't never marry,
I'll bet a boss. If Reiruth had mar
ried somebody else she might have
done so too. But he never turns up"
Next in order came the passenger
who was nobody in particular.
But him YOU shall see. if the fire.
light be not too dim. a. he responds to
the judges call.
a lean form, in rusty brown cloth
ing, sitting like a frog. his arms wrap
ped about his legs. his chin resting
upon his knees; smooth. oakum color
ed hair; long nose; mouth like a sa-
tyr's. with upturned, tobacco stained
corners; an eye like a tish's: a red
necktie. with a horseshoe pin. He
began with Il rasping chuckle.
"Everybody wrong So far. What-a
romance without any orange blossoms!
Ho, no. My money on the lad with
the butterfly tie and the certified
checks in his trouserin-S.
Take 'em as they parted at the
gate? All right. You never loved
me- says Redruth wildly. or you
wouldn't speak to a man who can buy
you the ice cream 4 hate him. says
she. 4 loathe his side bar buggy; l de-
spise the elegant cream bonbons he
sends me in gilt boxes covered with
real lace: l feel that l could stab him
to the heart when he presents me with
a solid medallion locket with tur-
quoises and pearls running in a vine
around the border. Away with him!
'Tis only you l love Back to the
cozy corner" says Redruth. Was I
bound and lettered in East Aurora?
Get platonic, if you please. No jack
pots for mine. Go and hate your
friend some more. For me the Nick
erson girl on Avenue B. and gum, and
a trolley ride
Around that night comes John w.
Croesus. What. Tears says he. ar
ranging his pearl pin. You have driv-
en- my lover away says little Alice
sobbing. I hate the sight of YOU
Marry me them says John W., light
ing a perfecto. What she cries
Indignantly. Marry you. Never she
says, until this blows over and l can
do some shopping and you see about
the license. There's a telephone next
door If you want to call up the county
clerk
Did they marry"' he continued.
Did the duck swallow the June bug:
And then l take up the case of Old
Boy Redruth. There's where you are
all wrong again. according to my the
DRY. What turned him into a hermit:
One says %laziness; one says remorse;
How old is the old man now:' asked
the speaker, turning to Bildad Rose.
Il should say about siXty-fve."
"All right. He conducted his hermit
shop here for twenty years. Say he
was twenty-five when he took off his
hat at the gate. That leaves twenty
years for him to account for or else be
locked. Where did he spend that ten
and two fives? III give you my idea
up for bigamy. Say there was the fat
blond in Saint 10 and the panatella
brunette at Skillet Ridge and the gold
tooth down in the Kaw valley. Red
ruth gets his cases mixed. and they
send him up the road. He gets out aft
er they are through with him and v
Any line for me except the crinoline.
The hermit trade is not overdone, and
the stenographers eve apply to 'em
for work. The jolly hermit's life for
me. No more long hairs in the comb
or dill pickles lying around in the cigar
tray You tell me they pinched old
Redruth for the noodle villa just be-
cause he said he was King Solomon.
Figs. He was Solomon. That's all of
mine. l guess it don't call for any APP
pies. 1nclosed find stamps. 1t don't
sound much like a prize winner"
Respecting the structure laid by
Judge Menefee against comments upon
the stories, all We're silent when the
passenger who was nobody in partic-
ular had concluded. And then the in
genious originator of the contest clear
ed his throat to begin the ultimate en-
try for the prize,
"Gentlemen of the-er-I should say,
nv friends-the case Of Redruth YER
sus love and affection has been called.
Yet who is on trial: Not Redruth, for
he has been punished. Not, those i'm
mortal passions that clothe Il lives
with the JOY Of the angels. Then who?
Each man of us here tonight stands at
| the bar to answer if chivalry or dark
| ness inhabits his bosom. To Judge us
sits womankind in the form Of one Of