davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
THE CUSTOMS REORGANIZATION.

In the matter of Government retrenchment, it
depends very often on whose OK is gored. Reckless
expenditure Of Government funds looks criminal
when the other fellows henchmen getting the
jobs and the money; but when ones own party
comes into power the thing is much more easily pal
lated
These observations anent the customs reorganiza-
ton that Congress authorized and President Taft
didn't carry into effect The law gave the President
general authority to direct the changes in the service
Ii aimed at doing away with a great number
of soft berts in the customs service collectorships
held by collectors who didn't collect, and for whose
services the Government got no equivalent what
ever. These cases have been enumerated time with
out number in decades past, but without effect on
the method of administration. Decadent ports of
entry where nothing next to nothing is entered
are retained in that status with full corps of we'll
paid employees and the jobs have come to be looked
upon as choice political pckings, the inherent right
of the local politician who can muster the necessary
influence.
The last Congress set about reforming this Ii
proposes to reduce the number of customs districts
from 165 to 49, to abolish great number of COL
ectorships and place the deposed ports in the status
of subsidiaries to really important commercial CEN
tiers, with deputies in charge This would effect a
large saving and better administration.
But after the election last autumn there was less
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
SchooIboy English.

CHOoLBOY English. while not al
ways comprehensive by older
people. Is at least picturesque In
its vagueness. Two youngsters
from a public school were walking
home from their lessons.
Heard about old what's his manner
asked one.
sure" answered the second: "wha,
about him.
..Why, l heard he'd come home from
where-is-it-he's been and moved down
to what-yer-may-call-h place, an
married old what-his-name's daughter
Funny you hadn't heard 1t before"
81 did hear something about IT,
answered the second. but hadn't
heard any Of the details before. ."-Bos.
ton Traveller.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
Dogs Sense of Memory.

An English clergyman owned a dog which
attached to him. When he compelled
for long soourn abroad the clergyman took his
canine companion friend
remained for about Then the
returned and arriving his friends house late
night retired without having the dog called.
Early morning the sleeping awakened by
bursting into his bedroom and leapng him
the widest demonstration of delight.
How earth did he know had arrved?" asked the
clergyman.
oh. sir the valet replied the curious thing
AS cleaning boots the recognized them.
have not been able quiet him till he where
carrying them and rushed along with door,.
Exchauge
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
His Pathetic Tale.

"HE tramp looked shrewdly at
Miss Wary and she returned
his gaze with equal shrewd-
ness. but her expression did
not soften In the least. says Llppin-
colts
You see. it's like this, ma'am. Six
months ago I had a little home of my
own. but I made an unfortunate mar.
riaSe. My :. ifes temper was such that
II kept me in hot water all the time. -
Him" said Miss Wary, dryly. IT'S
a pity there couldn't have beeu 4
little soap with i. Only six months
ago, did you say7''
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

n AYBE about per cent Of all of
NH the folk in the world today
v really have some serious trou-
BILE that causes them to
brood-even though the brooding can do
them no imaginable good and may do
them a good deal of harm.
The s. per cent of US probably haven
any trouble worth mentioning. But
good many OF US in this latter crowd
imagine that We are burdened with
trouble. Hence, almost any man can be
his own trouble-killer.
The trouble with US Is, in all lfkeli-
hood, that We need a little diet or exer-
else or medicine. Biliousness Is not a
serious ailment, medically viewed.
But 1t causes a good deal more than
its share of the mental misery and the
downright houndish meanness in the
world.
The human being who. when genuinely
bilious. can survey himself correctly. In
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
Always a Hoodoo.

RAHAM B. NICHOL, who, be-
ing the best poker player In
the National Capital. plays
with some of Washington $
biggest and richest men. was being ;old
one morning Of a game the evening
before. when stranger had lost an
immense sum of money.
That's always my luck!" lamented
Nichol. whenever there's lot OF
soup around I'm about twelve blocks
away with a fork in my hand."-Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

And talking of sports, there is the
info that this will be about the first
time that these two great twirlers have
hooked up on the same day in the same
game" Which is where the Personal
Friends Club tosses up the spongia
and acknowledges itself beaten
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
The Deuce You Say!
CFrom the Times

IFrOm the TIMES. i
Vean Gregg, the Naplanders' star
southpaw. has pitched eighteen con-
sccutive scoreless innings. and. II he
works today and whitewashes the Griff-
men, he will increase his total
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

You never can judge ia fella
Because he has beautiful teeth;
Full many a dollar umbrella
Is hid by silkenish sheath.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
THIS& THAT
van som,t,mrs a Lnt. ora. ofA,,

ON WEATHER.
When the thermOm shows one.
nought-nought,
And men are roasting nicely
To put it briefly: when it's hot
That pleases me precisely.
And when the merc's so low men
say
They never sap it fall So
In short, when it's an ice-cold
day
| rather like that also.
But if you chance to think that /
Am queeh then pray remember:
/ like the cold stuff in July,
The torrid in December.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
YOU NEVER CAN.

You never can judge of fellow
Because he is dashing and bold;
In mining camps, anything yellow
Is promptly mistaken for gold.
FG Y
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

You may believe 1t or not" said Mr..
Taft to the Yale grads. but I took
pleasure in leaving the White House"
Which do YOU intend to do?
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

The death grapple for last place ar
rives today with the Browns. Stovall's
club is only three and a half games
ahead of the Yanks and clean
sweep of the series would leave the
two clubs neck and neck.-The New
York Mail"
Neck and neck? Or ankle and ankle
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
NJ. NJ. NJ.

Baseball writer's seeking synonyms
for bases" lamp this from the Japan
Times" "Kakeyama started the game
by driving the sphere down into the
left garden for two zabuton." The
same. we learn upon inquiry. being
Kashiwagi for cushions"
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

John A. Dix. erstwhile gov of New
York. may go to the Philippines. (Note
to comp room: Be careful not to print
that "HcarstwhileD
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

II John D. is actually troubled with
insomnia. as the press notices have II,
he should try reading his own speeches.
how he became successful, etc. They
ARE guaranteed.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
The Garrulous Hand.

From the "Times'D
As Birmingham reached out to shake
the Presidents hand. the latter said:
Il am cautious Of the baseball grip,
so you see shake carefully"
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

For the Restaurant Pests Cor is It
Pestaurants0: He who summons the
waiter by tapping on his water-glass
with a knife.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
What's on the Program in
Washington Today

Masonic organizations night: Naval
Lodge, No. 4: Hiram. No. 10: Lafa-
yette, No. 10, and William R. Single
ton, No. 80; Capital Chapter, No. II.
ROYAL Arch; ceremonial session Of
Almas Temple, Mobiles of the Mys-
tic shrine; Esther Chapter. No. 5,
Order Of the Eastern star: Adoniram
Council. No. . Royal and Select Mas
tiers.
Red Men: Logan Tribe. No. s. Wiscon-
sin avenue and N street: Sioux
Tribe. No. IS. X. near Four-and-a-haif
street southwest.
National Union: National Council,
Eagles Hall: Nonpareil Council.
Schmidt's Hall; Mt. Vernon Council.
Eagles Hall.
Odd Fellows: Columbia, No. 10: Excel
sior. No. IL, and Salem, No. %: Mage
menu Encampment. No. 4: Miriam. No.
Kniehts of Pythias: Franklin Lodge.
No. 2: Rathbone Temple. No. s. Py-
openins of the Municipal Bathing
Beach.
Washington Letter Carriers Associa-
tion excursion to Chesapeage Beach.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

YES, IF YOU CONTINUE TO HELP.
If Congressman would pay their debts,
'Twould make you quite power;
You then could pay your baseball bets
But could you write the tower,
NAV
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
He Seen EN- Before.

T a target practice Of a company
n of territorials the captain swag-
~ gered up to the latest recruit
and proceeded to give him some
instructions about his gun. says Pear
sons Weekly.
See here. my man. this thing Is a
rifle Here is the barrel. there's the
stock. You slip the cartridge in here.
Now you put the weapon to your shoul-
der. These little things on the barrel
are the sights. When you have taken
accurate aim, pull this little thing,
which is the trigger. Now. remember
what I have told you. Smarter up and
look like a soldier. By the way. what
is YOUR business? A clerk. 1 suppose"
NO, SIR" was the reply; Il am a
gunsmith."
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

The inquiry is becoming decided!
lobby, eh, what?
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
1t Was Slightly Inconveanieut.

G. S. X: Would you say that the
Climbers failure to hit him at the right
time was an egresgrious blunder?
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

II plans for the pageant are carried
out as contemplated we may have to
rechristen the day:
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

within a few weeks" says DR.. Carl
L. Alsberg. three professors in medical
schools have written to know what we
meant by guaranteeing THIS AND
THAT" There's an error somewhere,
Carl. 1t absolutely isn't guaranteed.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
SI6.4I. Why?

G. S. X: How much does that Con.
gresham owe you now?
SEMINOLE
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
Amusements.

National-"Bohemian Girl" Sis D. m.
Columbia-''The Prince and the Pauper."
2:15 and Sis p. m.
Polis-"The Woman" 2:15 and Sis D. m.
Relasco-Antarct!c Pictures. and S:31
D. m.
Glen Echo-Au amusements.
Chevy Chase Lake-Dancing and con-
cert by Marine Band.
Forty-mile moonlight trip down the Po.
wharf at D. m.
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
And Who Are You? Another of The
Inmates?

G. S. K: Here's a new one: A build
ing inspector was going through an in
sane asylum out West When he finish
ed he said: The building is unsafe;
It Is nothing but a she'll" AHA" re-
marked one Of the inmates, who over
heard him; "a nutshellr'
The Washington times., 1913-06-19

The Borious Fourth!
The Washington times., 1913-06-19
Good Stories
The Military Look.

" 1HEN Sir John French was In
command Of the cavalry at
Wv Canterbury he CHANGED one
day to meet a rather slouch-
ing young recruit.
Tell me. lad" said the new chief of
the general staff. docs this city belong
to you?"
The military fiedgling saluted and
blushinsly replied:
mo. SIR"
Never mind" said French. genially.
''Straighten yourself up. pull yourself
together. and look as though 1t did,
Chicago American.
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
YALE EIGHT IMPROVING
Beginning to Show Signs of
Pace, Says English Coach.

New Haven, May T-The Yale crew
seems 10 be showing signs Of pace.
said A G. Kirby. the former oxford
oarsman. now coaching the eight In
statement here to-day.
lie added that he found crew which
while rowing a stroke unlike his idea
of English style, with the men stin In
their movements and not sufficiently
steady 10 make a smart drive at the be
ginning Of the stroke. was extremely
adaptable" and that the defects are
we'll on the way 10 being remedied
There was shske-up to-day in tbs
eight. when Captain Snowoon was SHIFT
ed from stroke 10 No. . and Crocker'
who has been doing good work at stroke
in the second boat. took his place. The
varsity is now rowing as follows:
Bow. Gore; No ?. snowdon; No. g.
Denegre; No 4. Philbn No. 3, Ienkin-
son: No 6. Denman; No. !. Lippincott'
stroke. Crockcr; coXswin. Barnum.
As result Of the change the crew
moved with greater speed and precision.
The freshman coaches are worried be
cause Sheldon. regarded as one Of the
fixtures In the eight. was taken III TO,
dav with the measles and N Is feared
other members OF the crew may eaten
the disease
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
SIZE UP EACH OTHERS PLAY
Australians and Williams in
Lawn Tennis Practice.

Boston. May 2s.-Csptain s. y. Doust
and Horace Rice, OF the Australian lawn
tennis team. and r. Norris Williams one
Of the American quartet. all aspirants
for the Davis international cup honors
had a chance 10 size up each others play
for the first time at the Longwood Cricket
Club to-day.
Rice defeated Doust in a long and rath-
or slow three-set contest by score Of
IS. 6-S Sc. while the total points were
l31 TO 12O Williams. in a doubles match
with G. P. Gardner. OF Boston, defeated
y W. Niles and F. o. Dabney former
Eastern doubles champions. at 6-2, 6-3.
3-s. S. WHliamss game to-day was
spectacular.
Williams sat on the side lines an in
terested spectator. but refused 10 com
ment on the Australian brand Of lawn
tennis. The young Harvard PLAYER then
iumpcd into his white ducks and showed
the visitors flashes OF the game which
they may expect next week. He VIII
meet tomorrow his teammate, Maurice
Mclaughlin. the national champion
whom he forced into two fiye-set matches
last summer
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
avn Tennis Boxing Il Golf Rowing Polo = Other Sports
RICH PURSE TO RUD0LF0
Wins Kentucky Handicap, with
Ten Point Second.

Louisville. MAY S.- Rudolfo. a four
year-old horse. with LOTUS up. won the
first running OF the Kentucky Handicap
of $500 one OF the richest fixtures OF tho
American turf. AZ Douglass Park this
afternoon. He ran a mile and quarter
in 205 50. a new track record.
4. l.. Astes Ten Point. the Eastern
star, which August Belmont has called a
great horse, was second. and Any Port
third. The race was worth about N2,l5o
to the winner.
Away badly. LOTUS forced the son OF
Sir Hueon or Bats -Watoms into second
place AZ the three-quarters, with Ten
Point leading and Gowell third. This
position was maintained until the stretch.
when the three year-od faltered, and Ru-
dolfo. under a drive. forged TO the front
to win by length.
Foundation. To which Wany Westerners
had pinned their hopes and their money
failed TO show ability commensurate with
his showing as two-year-old. Buck
horn suffered interference at two turns
and finished far In the ruck.
Rudolfo paid about . 10 / I'm the mu-
tuels. He is owned by n. II. Emmons
and carried 1s pounds. Ten Point. under
10 pounds. was the favorite, Al apout Z
TO T. Frogess was among the eleven
starters. but ran unplaced.
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
Beaten by a Put on the Last
Green in First Round.
DOUGLAS ALSO DEFEATED
Schmidt the Only American to
Win Over Classic Links at
Old ST. Andrews.

st. Andrews. Scotland. May 26.-The
first round Of the golf tournament for the
amateur championship Of Great Britain
was played here to-day under clear skies
and other favorable conditions.
John Ball holder Of the title. was beat
en-. as was Fipdlay s Douglas. while the
only American who succeeded in winning
his match was w. Heinrich Schmidt. Of
Worcester, Mass. a student at the Poly
technic Institute He arrived here 10
compete only by taking his final eXamina-
uons month before his classmates
Schmidt defeated d. Stoner Crowther.
strong English player. by four up and
three 10 play. Crowther held him until
the short eighth hole, going out. Schmidt
was bunkered but recovered cleverly
and then ran down a hfteen-foot put 10
win the hole This was the turning point
Of the match.
Schmidt will play Captain Bruno, OF the
North Devon Club, tomorrow. and is ex-
pected TO win
Campbell p. White. Of San Francisco
and Harold Weber. Of Toledo, who drew
hyes in the FIRST round. will meet Car
michael Dickson. OF Moneheth, and Shep-
herd. OF Hemey, both ordinary players.
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
MOTOR BOATS LONG RUN
Yachtsmen Agog Over Phila-
delphia Bermuda Race.

Much interest in yachting circles now
centres around the Philadelphia to- Bcr-
muda motor boat race for the James
Gorden Bennett trophy and 5000 cash
prize. The start will he made on June
being made under the supervision Of the
regatta committee OF the Yachtsmens
Club.
This race promises 10 he the most sue
cessful Of its kind ever held in America.
The entries are numerous, and there is
sure 10 be some close running between
the competitors. Most Of the racers are
now I'm Philadelphia waters Cndoubted-
" they will make the finest lot of ocean
racers that ever left the Delaware capes
for a speed contest al sea.
Those wishing 10 he in az the finish
cannot do better than book passage on
the tWin-screw steamer Bermudian. which
sails from New York on Wednesday. June
l. At II q. m, arriving IN Bermuda on
June s. Not only will passengers he able
10 see the finish Of the race. but they
will he able 10 participate in the many
festivities Of yachting week, which fol-
lows the race, and which is being ar
ranged under the direction Of the Royal
Bermuda Yacht club, which extends a
cordial invitation to all visiting Yachts
men. Those wishing TO book passage on
the Bermudisn can get full information
from A. T.. Outerbridge & Co, No 20
Broadway New York
This race and the accompanying festivi-
ties cannot fail 10 live long In the pleas
ant memories OF yachtsmen and those
interested in yachting.
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
SURPRISES AT bENN|NG
Lieut.. GrebIe. on Prince Henry,
Wins Army Service Test.
COL. ALLEN FINISHES THIRD
Lieut.. Lyman Captures Federal
Handicap Chase at Last
Day of Meet.

Washington. NAV 2S-The annual meet
ing OF the Washington Riding and Hunt
Club AT the BenninG track came to a
close to-day with the announcement Of
the result of the army service test This
contrary to expectations. was CAPTURED
by Lieutenant f. 81. John Greble. OF the
18th Cavalry. on Prince Henry. with a
score OF 200 out Of a possible 200 points.
This is one OF the severest races in
American riding annals. II was over a
seventeen-n1ile 'cross-country course Of
tho most difficult riding to he found in
the vicinity OF Washington II had been
expected that Colonel Henry T. Alien
Of the General Staff. would repeat his
victory Of year ago on Razzle Dazzle.
He came In third this year following
Captain Warren Dean, OF the 18th Cav
airy. on Cosmocrat Colonel Aliens
score was 29s. while Captain Dean re-
ceived 2as points. The prize was a hand
some silver loving cup
With the army service test on the pro-
gramme OF the last day Of the meet the
largest crowd Of the three days turned
out. Miss Eleanor Wilson and a party
were on tho veranda Of the clubhouse. and
near by were theRussian Ambassador and
Nine. Bakhmeten. The grandstand and
paddock were bright with a eayly dressed
throng
Besides the service test there were seven
races on the card. The last the Federal
Handicap Steeplechase. was OF greatest
interest 10 the spectators and the most
closely contested Lieutenant A. X. g.
Lyman, a Hawaiian. on Kinnelon. won by
a head from Leutenar; c. X. Rockwell
on o. X.
The six furlong race was won by Hlma-
tion, one of the consistent winners Of the
meet. with Skibereen second and Hon
donic third Lieutenant Lyman. on Sorry
Lass. captured the Middleburg and Wash
incton subscription consolation, with
Lieutenant Rockwell second on Happy
Uavs
Lady Melba was the winner in the
Mount Washington steepeChase In this
race Two Saints. ridden ny Thomas
Wright had a good chance To win, but
fell at the water Jump Ind finished rider
less Wright. however. won the next
race, tho Arlington, on Absconder. and
also won the Shoreham Hotel cup on
Willing.
New-York tribune., 1913-05-27
SHIPPING NEWS
Port of New York, Monday, May 26,
1918.
ARRIVED

Steamer cape Breton (Br). Cardiff May II. "
Simpson. spence & Young, In ballast Arrived
steamer toronto oBr). HUI MAY and Boston
., 10 ssnderson & Son. with mdse Arrived at
the Bar Al 5 m.
steamer Odland (Nor). vita May ~. 10 the
Munson IS Line. with sugar. Arrived al tho
Bar at 4.SQ m. .
steamer Obidense tNo). Port Antonio May Il.
10 the Cuneo Importing 60. with 30 passengers
and mdse Arrived at the Bar AZ a m.
steamer car RUSS, Libau NAV IS and Hall
fax q. 70 Benham Il Boyesen. with 20 cspln
and Sl4 steersga passengers and mdse. Al
rived ar the Bar al 80 a m
steamer Prinz Sigismund Ger. Port-a1-
Prince May s Petit Goave and Miragoane l0
Jacmel Y. Cartssena H. Savanila Il; kinsston
and Port Morant 20 ana lnaSua y, 10 the
Hamburg American Line. with 30 passengers
malls and mdse. Arrived al the Bar Al i:lb
steamer Uler oNor). Paramaribo May IS and
Trinidad H. 10 the Royal Dutch West india
Mail. with mdss. Arrived at the Bar az : a m
steamer Nigilsncia, Puerto Mexico May ~
Prosreso' Is. Havana 70 and Nassau % 70 the
New York and cuba Mail IS 60. With 100 pas
sengers mails and mdse. Arrived az the Bar
steamer Proteus. New orlesn. May n. 70 the
Southern Pacific CO. with passengers ana
mdse. Passed in Quarantine AZ 5.f3 m.
steamer Fl Mundo. Galveston May p. - IN,
Southern Pacific CO. With mdse Passed In
Quarantine al sos a m.
Steamer Rochambesu Gr) Havrs Nav L. 70
the Compsgnie General rransatlanuqus, with
and mdse Arrived AZ the Bar AZ 40 m.
steamer Minnewasks tBrl. London May H.
10 the Atlantic Transport Line. with lS5 PAS
sengers and mdse. Passed in sandy Hook az
steamer Eddie (Br). Msrsnhan. 20 J Fl Win.
chester & co. in ballast. Passed in sandy
Hook at 40 m.
steamer Orotava (Rr). Bermuda Nav ~ u
sanderson e. son. with i26 passengers malls
and mdse Passed in sandy Hook at m.
steamer Curaca (Br). Pisagua and Iquique
April T. Tocopils 10. Mejillones II. Antofa-
sasta T. Tatal a. Chanaral 10, Cslders ls,
Coouinbo Il. Valparaiso 10. Coronei u and :,
Lucia NAV 10 70 " Grace Co. with
passensers and ndse. Arrived at the Far AZ
r m.
steamed Eddie (Br). Msranhsm MAY and
81 Lucia IL. 20 George Y Hellison, In osllas,.
Arrived At the BAR a., $40 m.
Steamer Huron, Jacksonville May "a ar1
Charleston "a N the clyde IS Co, with pas
.cngers and mdse. Passed in Quarantine At
s..5 n. a.,
steamer Cherokee, Georgetown, MAJ
a and wilmington, c. -. 20 tn. CLYDE -
CO with passengers and mdse. Passes N
Quarantine at s;Sf p m.
SAILED.
Steamers Kansas rBr), Yokohsrs; Antlla
Cuban. Tampico: Commodore Rollins iNS),
Front.ra: Princess Anne, Norfolk ana Nev-
nort News Alliance, Cristobsl: chatham
nors: America ltaD Philadelphia
sand Hook y J, NAV "a. $50 p n.-wind
east light breeze; clear; light sea-