davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
4 NEW BACONIAN THEORY

From the Popular Magazine.
Two farmers down in Georgia were
sitting on rail fence discussing the
greatness of United States Senator A.
O. Bacon of that state. They were in
entire accord on the physical, mental and
oratorical supremacy of Bacon over any
other man that ever lived. In the midst
of their talk a stranger drove up.
.'You seem to regard Senator Bacon as
a very great man." he remarked.
Hes the greatest man in the history
of the world" the Georgians declared in
chorus.
.You don't think he's greater than any
of the ~ apostles, do you?" asked the
traveller.
'WelI, maybe not" replied one of
them, but you see, Bacon is young yet"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

which was the forerunner of the pianola-
player piano in its perfected form of to-
day. The orignators and inventors of
this remarkable instrument have. by their
popularity. forced almost every manu-
facturer to enter the field in some form
or other. Now, every piano manufae-
turer of good reputation, is using every
effort in his power to develop the player
end of the business. With the Aeolian
company, it might be said. we have passed
the experimental age; the pianola-player-
piano 1 believe is practically perfect.
feel justified in saying this because of
the fact that we have gained recognition
for our instruments by the master of
music minds of the musical world of to-
day. The great artists use and indorse
them. Please pardon me for speaking SO
enthusiastically about these wonderful in
struments. but just let me say that the
pianola-player-p pianos are doing more to
develop music today than any other one
factor"
Mr.. Vossler called attention to-an article
by W. j. Henderson, the musical critic of
the New York Sun, in which he spoke in
highest terms of the pianola-player-p
from musical point of view-the piano.
player with soul and why it is so en-
Enthusiastically applauded in the Hoch-
schule in Berlin, and the Moscow con-
servatory; why has been installed in the
music departments of Harvard, Columbia,
Vassar and other leading American uni
versities.
We'll, when get to talking shop there
is so much good to say that never know
when to stop. 1 am delighted with the
representation Clark & Jones are giving
our instruments here in Birmingham
am especially pleased at their inaugura-
ton OF weekly panola- player recitals
given every Thursday afternoon at which
thoroughly artistic interpretations of the
best musical compositions can be heard
and the giving of perfect demonstra-
tion of the instrument which is not only
artistic but perfectly human in its possi-
bilities for expression
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
A SMALL FABLE

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
man was cast ashore on an unknown
island and found high state of civiliza-
ton. Artists painted beautiful pictures
and singers sang marvellous songs. To
them he paid tribute. But there was a lit
tie wthered man to whom poets, painters.
everybody bowed down
What has this man done?" asked the
traveller
"He has accumulated 100000 cocoanut
shellsS' they told him in awed whispers,
AT hrst the traveller was inclined to
laugh; but then ne thought of conditions
in his own country and became thought
full
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
THE FAITH THAT WAS IN HIM
From Harper's Weekly.


Mr.. Morgan's will disposed of great pos
sessions and of works of art of import
ance and immense money value. in the
disposition of which all the world was in
terested. 1t was a very long will Inc
newspapers printed it all; but the para
graph which they found most interesting
and emphasized in headlines, and put at
the top of the column. was this with
which the will began:
II commit my soul into the hands of
my Saviour, in full confidence that, hav-
ing redeemed 1t and washed it in His most
precious blood, He will present it fault
less before the throne of mi Heavenly
Father; and / entreat my children to
maintain and defend, at all hazard and
at any cost of personal sacrifice the
blessed doctrine of the complete atone
ment for sin through the blood of Jesus
Christ, once offered, and through that
alone"
The papers were entirely right in their
estimate. That was the most interesting
clause in Mr.. Morgan's will, and, more
than that, it was the most valuable legacy
he bequeathed to the generation of men
that is to follow him. 1t contains the pith
of the Christian faith. What it says can
be expressed no doubt in other words
that would carry the same significance
But these words are comprehensive and
exact. They declare the basis of the
testator's whole = character-the basis,
moreover, of all the best and noblest
and most useful characters that have de-
veloped in this world in the last 1000
years.
To have a man of Mr.. Morgan's kind
and size and prestige declare humbly and
in such convincing words his profound
confidence In the faith in which he had
lived, was a crowning service of inesti-
mable value to mankind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
THE "FAKE, SINGING TEACHER

Pierre v r. Key, in Harper's Weekly.
II was only for half minute that Pro-
fessor Soacum went through his flip
plano act, but he omitted nothing. He
sent his two hands walking with each
other up and down the keyboard, put
them through various chassez steps
started them on even terms at the middle
of the keys to be waltzed to remote ends
of the instrument, and finally commenced
game of dgital chase-one. In course
OF his exhibition he probably played 266
wrong notes out of 400 actually touched.
which gave him a low batting average
The professor left his seat at the piano,
stepped close to the Investigator, and
spoke in the confidential manner. he was
getting in his Adeadly work and it took
minute or two. After a while the cur
tain went up on act two.
Grip the breath here" said Soacum.
placing one hand in the small of the
prospective pupils back, "and also here, y
polSing Mr.. Curious somewhat forcibly in
the solar plexus. Now sing another
SCALE"
This one was delivered slightly better
than the frstt.
See? You already show improvement
under my teaching. 1t is the breath; you
must sing on it,"
"Sit on it?"
mo, no; sing on it. Let me tell you.'
Soacum tried to IN his glbest speech; but
he wound up in a muddle, though he
didn't know that his acquaintance knew,
The baritone sang another scale and gave
to the upper note slight kick, so to
speak. Soacum Strengthened up, sur
prised, but not aware that Mr.. Curious
was playing with him.
La Ia you have a voice. l knew ii
when / heard you speak. ] knew | could
bring it out in one lesson-this lesson. In
a month | can put you in a church choir.
You have a future. oh, yes, | strongly
advise you to study. Just come over here
while we arrange for your lessons. | shall
make you reduction to 81 for each one
and you can get on spendidly with one
every day. Later we will reduce the
number"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
A MYTHICAL PLACE.

In Laughterland the days are golden,
The nights are filled with bhssful
dreams,
And all around are blossoms blowing,
The songs of birds, the Tilt of streams.
NO sorrows there, no trick of frown-
ing,
No heartache and no vain regret;
No clouds obscure the dome of heaven
No phantom forms are ever met.
Always the sun is brightly beaming,
Save when the skies are gemmed with
stars;
No echo from 1ife's bitter struggle
Is heard, nor din of earthly wars.
But all is peace and all is pleasure
And every scene is wondrous fair:
Did such a realm exist, I'm thinking
To Laughterland I'd gladly fare.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

The English suffragette has been a
terror to London for some time past. and
she does not seem to be daunted by the
defeat of the equal suffrage bill in the
house of commons. She proposes to go on
terrorizing, but there is a limit to all
this, and even London. where people are
allowed the greatest freedom, will be apt
ta call halt very soon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Miss Elanore Stager of Cincinnati is
80 years of age and says she has never
been kissed by a man or woman. She
declared that osculation was an unclean n
habit and one which she despised. No.
Hortepse, ignorance is not bliss in a case
of this kind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

their future home inquire first about
the public school system. Other ques-
tions are considered by homeseekers,
but the school comes first in the minds
of intelligent, desirable wage-earners
who have children to be educated.
Birmingham surely cannot afford
to have inadequate school accommoda
tiong
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
SIGN OF PROGRESS

Ffom the New YORK Telegram
Postoffice inspectors report that much
exploited lucky stones, instead of being
the mysterious talisman, In the search for
which 10000 persons die annually on the
Island of Ceylon from the deadly bite
OF the cobra SNAKE are made in Com
necticut. Well something had to take the
place Of the wooden nutmeg industry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

The fact that fat women were barred
from the suffragette parade in New York
seems to indicate that there are some
leyel-headed women in charge of the
movement in this country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Gentry, Mo-, kitten is credited with
being a music lover. 1t is said that the
cat will listen with much attention while
the piano is being played, and it has been
known to scamper up and down the ke1.s
when no one was in sight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
SIMPLER.

cunist camera has been invented
put you can get much the same results
with an ordinary camera by having some
one jostie you while in the act of taxi
i"e an exposure. PAUL COOK,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

1t is proposed that President Wilson
appoint Governor Johnson of California
to be governor general of the Philippines.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
oDIOus COMPARISON.

Bella and Grace are no longer
friends"
How did they happen to fall out?'
''They didn't fall out. They fell in,
and when each saw what the water had
done to the others complexion and
imagined how her own complexion must
look, they both got very mad and
haven't spoken since"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
WE FEAR THE WORST

The announcement from Paris tha+
womens hats are to be decorated with
real flowers is apt to put new life ),
the caulifower joke. which only a sbort
time ago was morbund
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

Il cannot ascribe it to amy other ths>
those delightful ladies'" The good man
should not be censured for being iust a
trife sarcastic.
HIS MAINSTAY.
The bassois voice
Like thunder swells.
As he sings about
The harbor bells.
No basso could
'Oblige" say we,
Were there no songs
About the sea-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Boxing bouts are greatly desired in
Illinois, where there Is a movement un-
der way to have them made legal. More
red corpuscles at work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

The suffragette who got King George
over. the telephone is trying in vain to
learn his new number. 1t is not to be
found in the telephone book
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

King Nicholas may rule over side
show kingdom. but he is every inch
man and he has won the respect of the
world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
The Democratic Administration

Il have never voted the democratic
ticket but I cannot help feeling proud
as an American citizen of the business
like way in which ue Wilson admin
istration is being conducted" said Will
liam W. Paynter of st. Louis.
Il have been republican ever since
was old enough to vote in the early
SOS, but the last republican administra-
tion was a little too much for me, and
L did not vote at ALL 1 was thinking
of voting for Woodrow Wilson and had
L known that he would have made such
a strong President l would certainly
have done so. l had an idea that a pro-
fessional educator, no matter how able or
useful in his sphere, would not be prac-
teal enough for the highest executive
office in the world, but I was mistaken.
/ think Mr.. Wilson will turn out to be
one of the greatest Presidents we have
ever had"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Lunacy in art seems to be waning We
find it extremely hard to feel depressed.
Back to the bughouse with the cubists,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
ENOUGH.

Just to be happy, just to be gav
Just to know trouble Is driven away
Just to be dreaming sweet dreams In tbs
Just TO sing songs when the morning ,s
bright,
Just to be toiling for love of the task
Surely is all that a mortal could ask
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
CAUSE AND EFFECT.

What makes your face so long, Dad
bing?"
I'm short this morning."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Maybe after the suffragettes get theirs
the boy scouts will come back into the
limelight again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

According to late advices, Theodore
Roosevelt is slated to become president
of a mothers CLUB
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
Music and Its Charms

Here is something | wish to say
for print" said a representative. trav-
cling man who calls on the Birming-
ham trade once a year. II am some
times inclined to think that | should
be placed in the chronic grumbler list
rather than be tickled under the chin.
like Birmingham more than l can
say and If I showed you my order book
you would say that Birmingham is good
to me. On each successive visit
notice your giant strides and improve
ments. | also notice your room for i'm :
provement-your, shortcomings. be-
lieVe Birmingham wants to see itself
os other see 1t, hence a grumble.
Il wish particularly to call attention
to the fact that you have not enough
Places of amusement. You need moro
theatres, more picture shows, more good
music. The great strides made in inl-
rrovements in talking machines-and |
do not sell talking machines-place
the highest class of music within the
reach of all and make it possible for
travelling man-the man without a
home-to enjoy such entertainments.
AT one of the progressive cities in
the east l spent an evening of rare
pleasure that still fingers in my mind,
Just listening to one of these new i'm
proved instruments in q public cafe,
crowded with ladies and gentlemen who
were as enthusiastic as was myself.
Not only We're the popular songs and
music of the day heard, but the voices
CT such celebrated artists as Calve
Steak, Nordica. Sembrich, Caruso.
Nelson, Melba, Campsnari, Destinn,
Eames, Zinatello Mary Garden George
Cohan-these and many others famed
in song and opera were reproduced by
this remarkable machine, as natural as
If they themselves were on the plat
form You could almost see Sousa and
FRY ors bands marching down tn,
street and see the action of Kubeli<,
Ssaye and Paderewski so realistic was
the rendition
Your summer months are coming on.
so get busy and give us moderate
priced cafe with light lunches, such
music and a cold stein"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

Northern paragraphers still consider
the take 'em off, allusion as timely.
We've had 'em off for some time down
here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

AT st. Louis man who killed his wife
at dinner party was very inconsiderate
of the other guests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08

The corn club boys of Alabama will be
in the new high record class this sum-
mer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
ANAToLE FRANCE TO POETS

The man who is doing we'll with hi.
garden asks no odds of anybody.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
EXcusABLE.

When asked the cause of a fire which
recently destroyed his church, under cir
cumstances which seemed to implicate
the suffragettes, an English vicar said
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
TWAS FATAL.

His form Is still, his eyes are dim
He's past reproving
A motor car bore down on him,
He postponed moving.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
ALWAYS PREPARED.

''Rickets is man of remarkable fore
sight"
Yes, indeed He is never without a
corkscrew."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
EASY SUICIDE.

I'm tired of life"
That being the case, go out to Cali
fornia and shout 'Banzain"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-08
THEY WANT ONE

The "green-eyed monster" roams about
In quest of victims near and far,
And puts some people down and out
Each time they see a motor car,
The Washington herald., 1913-03-02

windows 50 that they can be let down
from the top, thus protecting the body
from wind while giving the lungs air.
Where artificial heat Is employed, the
conditions are different, as a little re-
Election will show the reader.
Places of assembly are notoriously dam
gerous disseminators Of infection:
churches are especially guilty in this re-
spect. for most Of them were built to
accord with medieval architectural Gus
toms Expired air remains in the build
ing from week to week: II becomes chill
ed; and its solid matter Is deposited on
walls and floors alopg with the moisture
it contains. To prevent this. several large
windows. high up in the wall, should be
opened during and after the service.
When the air is thoroughly renewed, the
windows may be closed until the time
for the next service, during which period
artificial heat may warm the walls and
air
Theaters are much better adapted to
ventilation: but too rarely are the win
dows opened at the conclusion of the per-
formance, and the theater is left all night
to be saturated by humaI emanations.
The consequence is an unpleasant odor
and a stuffy feel of the air. The highest
windows should be freely opened for at
least half an hour after each perform
ance, and then closed to retain the
warmth of the furnaces. II necessary,
they may be opened during or at the
end OF the first act. The opening of the
door or lower windows is Of very little
use. and creates most uncomfortable
draught in the orchestra seats.
Large ONCE and factory buildings with
mechanical systems Of ventilation have
The Washington herald., 1913-03-02

cream until the "half-moon' is clearly
defined Cut away the superfuous edges
OF skin.
Next. with a bit of sandboard shape
the nails into pretty ovals. not too exas-
gerated. and. mind you. they are short.
Long nails are neither refined nor sani-
tary. Use the orange wood stick to clean
and polish them by giving them a brisk
rubbing with the palm Of the opposite
hand.
1t will help inestimably. not only in
keeping the cuticle properly away from
the nails. but in tapering the fingers. II
in drying the hands after each washing
cars is taken to wipe the fingers sepa-
rately. pressing the cuticle back in each
instance with the towel. Needless to say.
the movement should not be too harsh.
II tiny ridges appear on the nails. they
are a sure signal that a change OF diet
is needed.
All the cleansing lotions are more OF
less astringent. and too free q use, of
The Washington herald., 1913-03-02

tcntnDltcl by the Medical Society Of
Of CoiImtia)
No one educated in hygiene could toler-
te the inherently faulty construction of
ihe American railroad carriage Were the
rentilators in the top of the car always
open, the atmosphere would be at least
ttolerable; but the regulation of this mat
I ter is in the hands of conductors who are
of necessity ill-educated men along these
Hpes, and, therefore, cannot be expected
TO understand the laws of ventilation
without special training. This is not
given by the company. In addition, the
more frequently the ventilators are OPEN
ed, the greater Is the amount of cleaning
TO be done to the car; as their position on
the roof OF the carriage is such as to
facilitate the entrance of smut from the
engine. The lower windows open from
below upward; so that to obtain air for
ones lungs it is necessary to subject
oneself to the danger of a rapid and
concentrated gale of wind blowing over
the lower part of the body. The warmer
the temperature the more important Is It
to prevent abdominal chill, a fact well
known TO residents in tropical climates
who frequently wear cholera belts for
this purpose.
Ones choice, therefore, lies between the
devil of abdominal chill and the deep sea.
of suffocaton. The former can be OBJ
waited by an extra wrap around the mid
die of the body: the latter can be avoided
only by opening the window on the wind
ward side Of the train and sitting nearly
doubled up, SO as to have ones face be-
low the upper level of the entering breeze.
OF course the remedy is to compel the
railroad companies to construct their
The Washington herald., 1913-03-02
SALT AIR AND SUNSHINE,

The significance Of climate and factor
in the treatment Of disease is generally
conceded. Altitude, sunshine. salt air.
ocean breezes. and forest hills arc express
sions with which the practitioner now
and then attempts to couture his jaded
patients. Not infrequently the spell Is
effective, bringing with 1t a renewal of
vigor and restoration Of health. Can OBJ
jective causes for climatic influences be
discoverede What are the reasons for
the frequently observed beneficial effects
of an ocean voyage or q stay at the sea-
side? Profs. Zuntz, Of Berlin. and Du-
rig. Of Vienna, both well-known Euro
pean experts in physiology, who have de-
voted much energy to the study Of the
effects Of high attitudes on man, have
given some consideration to these Ques-
tions. In the course Of an ocean voyage
from Germany to the Canary Islands and
return they made careful observations on
the pulse rate. body temperature, &C.
Despite the invigorating nature Of the
trip. these fundamental bodily features
were not found altered in any detectable
uniform degree. This corresponds with
what has been observed In investiEa-
tons at seaside resorts. where the travel
factor il excluded. but the atmosphere
conditions are similar In many ways,
cal Association. Neither such conditions,
nor the tropics. nor yet polar climates
effect any marked alteration in these
physiologfc functions In any event, It
has been impossible to demonstrate
changes that might be considered indica-
tive Of a stimulating effect Of ocean cli-
mates. A similar outcome has attended
the careful experimental Investigation of
the effect OF sunlight An abundance
OF direct sunlight. especially in some
Of the widely visited health resorts. has
always claimed due share Of the credit
ascribed to the invigorating climate. We
read Of the days OF balmy sunshine
Careful scieNtific observations have not
disclosed any bodily changes due to this
cause. Notwithstanding all OF these mega
tive findings however, no one can deny
the usefulness Of a change Of climate.
despite the obscurty surrounding the
secret OF its influence on the individual.
The Washington herald., 1913-03-02
Conservation Of Child-life.

From the Portland or-sonian.
There are two kinds Of race suicide.
One is the kind against which Col.
Roosevelt inveighs. The other is tho
kind which allows babies to be brought
into the world only to die. War is
being made against this latter kind in
New York City by means Of pure milk
stations with attendant physicians and
nurses. Its good results are seen
in the annual report of the board Of
health, which shows that last year the
death rate for babies decreased per
cent, while for the entire population
the decrease was only I per cent.
That this decrease is due to the agen-
cies mentioned may safely be inferred
from the fact that most of II was in
Manhattan. where preventive measures
are most thorough. while in Brooklyn.
where the work was extended beyond
its original limits only last summer.
there was only a slight decrease, and
in the Bronx, which had only three
milk stations. there was none.
The inference is plain that the high
death rate among infants is prevent
able waste. To the community each
child that is born is an Investment, for
II is a prospective useful. producing
citizen, and each death of a child is an
economic loss 1t is useless to check
the one kind of race suicide by increas-
ing the birth rate unless we at the
same time check the other kind by
decreasing the death rate. In fact. 1t
would be better TO bring into the world
a smaller number Of children and by
giving them better care bring them
all to maturity than to give birth to
large number, half of whom would
die in infancy.
Proper care of children. which car
ries with II care of mothers. is our first
duty in conservation of human re-
sources. without which conservation of
other resources is vain.