New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-10-05
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Alcohol crime disease. degeneration ms Is
the headline OF invitation recently issued III
Vienna for a meeting ~ which IT was proposeu W
form societies in all parts OF the empire Tor 'he
education OF the people as TO the moral ana physl
cal havoc caused by the use OF alcohohc drink
one OF the results of the meeting is an alcohol edu-
cational exhibition" The statistical charts which
show the connection OF crime and disease with aco
hol will be placed In schools. factories railway STA
tons publc buildings and churches. The move
ment is certainly a good one" says a Berlin letter
and the most remarkable thing about IT Is that II
should originate in the gay kaserstadt' where
similar step few years ago would have been ridi-
culed OF existence"
Does the count intend to contest his wife's suit
for divorce" .
NO but his creditors do."-Judge.
Failure to comprehend the psychology OF the
souvenir hunter" has resulted dsastrously for the
proprietor Of a local Turkish bath He became tired
of the ravages made among his towels by collectors
and hit upon scheme which he thought would put
a stop to the practice Upon all the movable ar
tcles in the establishment he marked This Is stolen
from Blanks Baths" He had calculated that the
certain proof OF their shame would deter the col
ecors but to his establishment the thieVery IN his
place did not cease, but increased rapidly Fresh
men in all the colleges for miles around made Pill
grmages to New York to take towels from Blanks
Blanks Baths not badge of shame but on
the contrary a means of proving to their admirers
the authenticity of their capture.
First Auto Saesman-Why don't you speak to
Dobson-he bought car OF you, did he not?
Second Auto Salesman-Yes a 5000 one. You
don't suppose I'll speak to chap that drives S6oo
car do you?-Chicago News.
Giuseppe Campanari, BARITONE of the Metropolitan
Opera Company in Grau and Conried days, now
spends his summers at Siasconset. having been in
weighed there by his friend former Police Magistrate
FIammer OF all the barytones parts his favorite is
that Of Escamillo, the toreador in Carmen" Judge
Flammer who is an enthusiastic golfer. persuaded
Sgnor Campanari to undertake to learn the game on
the Sasconset links. The barytone drove OH. his
ball executed a parabolic left hand curve and landed
gracefully between two cows grazing on the out
skirts of the links. The barytone gazed wistfuy at
the ball. but did not move. Your ball." said the
former MAGISTRATE There II is between those two
COWS. Go and get it." signor Campanari took few
steps forward and then a step back. "They look
dangerous" he said. doubtfully Mr.. Flammer
looked at him for moment in panied silence
"Campanari." he said at length. excuse me, but
you're a h of a toreador!"
wipwae-After all experience is the best teacher
Henpeckke-Te that to the man who commits
Observation-Disclosures Record
In The American Hebrew" J. Fuchs gives this
picture OF the Yiddish newspaper published
In New York: ION East Broadway the morning ex-
changes are rapidly skinned and scissored by about
twoscore Of quick-witted people. young or youngsh
men for the most part, endowed with some fraction
OF an education no end Of noble sef-confdence and
Just enough English to get at the meaning Of their
harvest Of clippings The daily result OF their abors
generally speaking. is Yiddish mistranslation Of
Park Row misrendering the past days happenings.
accompanied by few self gathered local items Of
the Jewish quarter and the usual special features
OF evening paper the hour for going to press be-
ing 1 o'clock in the afternoon The news service OF
these Jargonc press products in point OF verisim-
tude may best be likened to the efforts Of smart
but rather shaky handed boy Of ten trying to draw
from memory portrait Of his aunt"
Old Lady Ito beggar at door)-Whats this soiled
paper? You'll have to tell me what II says for
haven't my glasses.
Beggar-Pease mum. it says am deaf and dumb
and can YOU spare me few cents.-Boston Tran
script.