The Washington herald., 1913-11-23

I the street"
l ventured several financial opinion!
that were apparently well received.
/ 1t took a long time to thaw those
brokers out and get their confidence, bu
| 1 persisted, and at length the day came
was taking Mr.. Skinem up alone.
suppose 1 looked at him as appealing as
a calf for its milk, for after a moments
thought he put his mouth down to my
ear and whispered:
Buy Rock Island, my son.
| That was enough. / borrowed all the
cash I could from the other boys. sold
my revolver, skates and bike-hao
mother draw her savings and bought
| Rock Island on a margin. felt So
exultant that instead of licking a tele.
graph boy who made up faces at me
gave him a dime to go to the movies
f, with.
In four days I was wiped out.
So was mother.
So were the boys.
1t was a week later before 1 met Mr.
| Skinem again. He poked me in the ribs
winked at me and asked:
rs that gigantic mortgage lifted,
Sammis?'
It's spiked down anew, SIR" I repIied.
why, how's that?"
Il followed your advice and bought
Rock Island"
Rock Island! Why, you young idiot,
I told you to buy Rock Salt! It has
gone up cents a bag, and you ought
to be a thousand dollars to the good"'
I have never trusted a broker since.
If feel like taking a gamble 1 20 down
to Coney Island and try to throw the
ring over the head of a cane.
Another of the mistakes I made was a
misunderstanding OF the rules of eti-
Quette. ! thought IL was required of me
to call on every tenant and welcome
him and make him feel at home. A few
seemed to appreciate my motive and
asked II my mother did washing at
home, but the great majority replied that
it was their busy day and held the door
open while edged out
There is no etiquette around a sky
scraper.
The nearest approach to It is a demand
that when an elevator boy busts his way
into a room on the fifth floor to tell the
occupant that there is a small fire in the
basement. and finds fve men playing
poker, he shall Immediately withdraw
with the remark:
please excuse me. did not know
that you were writing your last wills
and testaments,'
The elevator boy who should go around
the building telling about that poker
game, and that one Of the hands he
caught sight ot was a straight flush,
would lose his job that very night. The
agent of the building would send for
him and say:
so you found a poker game going on.
did your"
Yes, sir
cards in their hands:"
They had"
Chips on the table?'
"Yes. SIR
Hear anything said?"
''Yes, sir / heard the returned mis-
sionary from the South Sea Islands say
he raised the temperance lecturer S."
UNI UNI Willie, I guess We will have
to let you 60"
But why am I fired, sir?"
For being near-sighted. It's a great
misfortune, and feel sorry for you, but
it's rather dangerous to have you around.
You must remember that the name Of
this building is the Holy Pilgrim. and If
it got out that unholy poker was being
played in the Holy Pilgrim there would
be a rush OF tenants to get out. You
may 60 to the cashier for your envelope.
Every elevator boy is sooner or later
bound to get at least one bright idea
Beware of them. got one after 1 had
served about six months. 1t was to fence
on a half OF each elevator and rent the
spaces TO umbrella members and shoe
string men Thus they would always be
at hand when wanted. and the rentals of
the building be largely increased. The
agent listened to my plan and then LED
me to the door by the ear and said:
Co Go down to Wall Street! You
belong among the financIers.''
And one thing more. Never, under any
If a woman comes to
your cage and wants to know II Smith, |
Jones or Brown has an otiice there, do |
you answer yes. Your answer must be:
Il will see, madam-I will see."
And then you must slip up and notify |
The party that he is being asked for by a |
and describe her and leave 1t |
10 him whether to make a sneak or not |
I lost a luxurious job by letting a |
woman ascend to an ONCE unannounced, |
and her husband lost most of his hair |
and whiskers at the same time
SAMMIS,
The Elevator Boy. /