Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-11-27

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..o y AZ ess. n q. !, y. sister sass hin . shssi 81 an
!. ], The y worst ss., ss:.s S 4 Is ssx Riss. ss,:,I primary ~ y M
And y came te pass that some mems regulations we're only
worth fSs ducats while other mems good names we're worth
It's i foolish man what sits down ter count His troubles.
haze dat only gives 'en another chance tr swat hims-Atanta
The Cherry Sisters might venture q another tour Y 7 ts
HOPELESS.
Your honor began the lawyer, 1.-THE defendant il about
to throw himself on the mercy q the court B,
held for attempted suicide. y,
LADIES ON JURIEs.
Judge J, said the forswoman Of the jury of ladies' ssws
want e speak e t. You about that sealed verdict " Just rendered. &
acan we unseal y and add ! postscript
HE HAD sYhPATHY FOR THE UNDER DOG.
Citizen: sI presume you have 9 lot Of sympathy for the under
Watertown Editor: Yes, especially II happen to be the under
dog
Sam p. Sheldon and the pastor, Of the sssharps and Flats 4
vinI gaGe II af, srhae,'l es,s q n fsney e esas yoa sEa ,;sHst e. . The n sns roller roller
the rush. See small bills. The pastor will do the sstango-roll
while Sam will conRne his exhibition to ublebackhand-spike
somersaults.
BY the way what has become of the old fashioned gent
DOZEN, ~ inquiries Luke McLuke.
oh, he's sitting around IN the grocery store relating his yarns
about the time people used to buy a whole pound Of bacon ~
once, and the days that you didn't have TO be q millionaire "a get
mouthful OF real beefsteak.
LONG DROUTH.
#@ The tourist was looking over western Kansas. MEASUREMENTS
II looks pretty dry down here !. said he, ssHow long has
well sir replied the farmer, s.youll have to ask some
one else, You see I've only lived here five years
NOT UNLIKELY.
We'll, my boy said the visitor to Bobby, 81 suppose some
day you expect to step into your fathers shoes.
"oh,I suppose 50, I, said Bobby, gloomily 81 been wearin'
out everything else he wears since mother learned how 70 cut EN-
"A manin Boone, Iowa, was arrested for carrying a bottle Of
beer in his pistol pocket. The prisoner pleaded guilty 70 the
charge, but insisted thai. he had not violated any law Of the state
and assessed a fine of five dollars and costs, for the reason that
no man has 9 right to appear in q public place with schitz IN his
A gentleman; a man that clean inside and out, who neither
looks up to the rich nor down on the poor, who can lose without
squealing and who can win without Dragging; who is ~considerate
: ND@snt T. se ehsas and an who Sd ta Rsspl hs M snare Y & e sbe sr world e ana "a l tas
other people have thers-New York Sun.
HIS WAY OUT.
lawyer once asked 9 man who had at various times sat On
several juries: Who influenced you most, the lawyers, the wit
nesses or the judgeY''
He expected to get some useful and interesting information
from so experienced q juryman. This was the mans reply:
III tell yer, sir, ,ow ! makes up my mind Ima plain man
and 9 reasonin' man, and I ain y influenced BY anything the law-
yers say, nor by what the witnesses say; no, nor by what the Judge
says. ! Just looks at the man in the dock and | says: SIC he aint
done nothing, why's he theref' and / brings 'em all in guilty,
til better to have the reputation of paying your honest debts
than for being 9 leader in society. All the glory of social Ifs
cannot compensate the ignominy of getting through on false pre-
lenses. The Indebtedness Of a man or woman who, for the sake
of display, is hunted day and night by creditors, who almost fear
to walk the streets is pitiable. There must be an end to him and q
bitter one. Character is worth more than clothes and indepen-
denCe more than social swim III nav not cut n great n wpn 80
attract as much attention but it will last longer and bring them
much reward in the end.
IN THE sCHoOLRooM.
A school teacher in one of the country schools was reading
sentences to her class, letting the children supply the last word.
THE sphinx she said, has eyes but it cannot -''
"Seei' replied the children.
HAS ears, but it cannot -,
Hear they responded.
Has a mouth, but it cannot -"