New-York tribune., 1913-06-22
AS | WAS SAYING

r,,et bocause Baron Canaille called the Duchesse de
Fermetonbec a toad" viper" and shiny she
devil" something in the line Of polite murder ""'
thought harmonious and the sticker arose "h"'
weapons?
"Ayoc pistols or avec ctters?" growled Baron
CauaHc.
Name Of name" screamed the Due de FER
metonbec "Aycc pistols, by blue! Letters are 80
dangerous" ..
well so they are. though regular safety devices
beside paragraphs Yesterday we hoped ballet
,bows would cnt fos the Extreme Orient and stay
there world without end, amen, as we had an eye
for beauty" Result Chorus Of jeers charging us
with undue susceptibility. Additional chorus Saying
we have no head for figures.
on. come now! Survey that awful travesty-high
heels. pinched waists. wrecked proportions spo"eu
Iines-and tell US what on earth ballet sho" mas 10
do with susceptibility or with figures.
,toro trouble, Letters pour in appsudng our AT
tack on The Atlantic Monthly" Whew' May our
tyueWriter ceave To the roof Of our mouth peio'e
ever We offer violence to that sacred screamer' We
intended a tribute. For we hold that as humorous
perodicaI The Atlantic runs with the front OF '''e
pack Its Jokes take rcdoubled spIehuor ~
reason Of the joker's solcmnty and cultured sapI-
ence.
To illustrate. We once saw a clown tagging after
an clepbant Nice clown very. Glued his ear to
tEe tin Of the elephants tail. shouted "Hel'o'
Hello, That YOU Clarence" Which was OF course
witty hut we think the circus let slip peculiarly
golden opportunity. Instead Of employing clown
for this scene It should have made tactfu overtur"9
a bishop.
Five captains aboard the Imperator. Hence those
cighty-three llfebodts.
.rDoor Sowing Circle" writes good lady in The
10, m Post Il was not surprised 10 read the letter
from q woman who violences TO assert her au-
thoritv over her husband. There are women VINO
arc greater .yrants than the most brutal men. /
know i woman who makes her husband take on MS
shoes In the corridor know another woman "ao
ACCOMPANIES her husband TO his place Of work am
rr,bs his pay envelope out Of his hand. know
another case where a man corrected statement hi'
wife had made in the presence OF company and shc
Jumped up, ran across the roofh' anu SIaPPeN "''"
violently across the mouth"
AZ we read the above thrillors il struck US IN
flash what ails those Boston husbands. They are
unhappily married.
Tempered with mercy. the Income Tax will take
pity on wrotchcd struggling Pater Familias ana
,opsdor his income reduced By $500 for each child
Great plan, Legally then. the father Of six is worth
nothing. lie is bankrupt. lie seek refuge under
become Of that proud, proud father DR.. Felix j.
Eabbitts? Surrounded by twelve weeping dauSh-
ters he faces truly terrible situation earning moth
inc and losing 5000 per annum. Alas. his Is as
grievous a plight as the Sultan OF Sulus when that
potentate divorced eight wives simultaneously and
discovered that each Of them required quarter Of
his income alimony,
our heart blccds for Dr. Rabbits, and we hope the
New Freedom will fly to his relief on wings of low
inr kindness. This can be easily arranged by IN
creasng the levy bachelors, so as TO reimburse
DR.. Rabbits
4 Voice: "Monstrousi Revolutionary. never
heard Of such injustice"
Didn't you. though? Thousands have been scream
ing for a Single Tax, and this would be IT, More
over, so would they.
Nine perfectly good pulpts are standing vacant IN
this city and they tell us it is because word has
gone out that New York is the graveyard of minis
tcrial regulations" Nonsense! We know the clergy
better than that. Rare, indeed is the preacher who
takes thought for his ministerial reputation
For our part suspect that what makes preach
ers shy away from New York is a certain mysterious
Coldness shown to newcomers by local clergy.
We feel It ourself. Here we have been-months now
-spoutng sweetness and light morning after morn
,..1