The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-09-13
Lessons in Unnatural History

TINE PEACH is a cross between
the apple that Eve ate and an
- American Beauty rose. II is
composed of equal parts of sugar and
ginger. and possesses a flavor OF
which men never tire. from the cradle
to the grave Indeed, il is the favorite
fruit of men. who spend so much mo-
ney upon Peaches that they frequently
have nothing left with which to buy
meat and potatoes for family use. For
Peaches are expensive Very, and do
much to account for the high cost of
living.
The Peach is at its best when it is
about eighteen years old, and served
up with a garnish of French millinery.
although some people with simple
tastes, prefer their Peaches au naturel.
Where the finest Peaches are raised
is a matter of grave dispute among
the best horticulturists. Some con-
tend that none have the same sweet
ness as the common. or garden. va
riety that are grown in the country.
Other connoisseurs aver that the hot
house ones, raised under glass. have
a certain piQuancy that the provincial
ones lack. While still others are strong
for the theory that to produce per
feet Peach you must transplant the
rural species to the city while il is
still slip. and that by doing this you
get the sweetness of the country and
the grace of the town combined.
1T is FREAkY.
A strange popularity of this delecta-
BILE fruit, however, is that il cannot be
grown to order. and that il is freaky
in choosing it's habitat. For instance,
many Peach springs from a dingy
and frOwsy tenement, while million
aires spend hundreds of thousands of
dollars in cultivating a Seeding that
turns out to be nothing but a little.
hard, knotty. green fruit that they
have to hire some mortgaged foreign
aristocrat to take off of their hands.
In this connection two other pecu-
| liarities of this interesting fruit are to
| be noted One is that the most attrac-
tive Peach always hangs highest on
/ the tree, just beyond a mans reach.
| The other is that, for some unknown
| reason scientists have never been
! able to explain, no man ever wants the
over-ripe Peach that is ready to drop
! into his mouth This is why so many
nearPeaches are left hanging on the
parent bough.
In selecting Peaches two things are
: to be borne in mind. The first is al
/ ways to pick out a Peach while il lie
still wet with the dew of early morn
ing, as il is sweeter and fresher then
than at any other time. The second
is to get your Peach before the down
and the bushes on its cheeks have
been rubbed by much handling.
Sometimes a Peach isn't as luscious
as il looks. but owes its attractiveness
to the pink mosquito netting with
which il is covered, and when a man
gets il home he finds that instead oil
being sweet and tender il is sour and
hard; for, alas. many a peacherino oil
courtship turns into the lemon of mat
rimony. There are microbes, how
ever, in every situation in life. and a
man has to be sport enough to back
his judgment in Peaches.
A STRANGE FACT.
Strangely enough, women do not
seem to care for Peaches unless they
happen to be IT themselves. Other
wise they are very scornful OF any
particular Peach that their husbands
or any other man. admire, and point
out its defects. Huh, they cry
cant you see that Peach is artificial
and that that blush is painted on its
cheeks? I'd never be taken in BY
THAT" This explains why Peaches
are seldom found at the family table
Although, as has been said, Peaches
are the favorite masculine fruit they