The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-08-06
4 X f y = i + + E + + 4
Pride Cost
Him His Life
Z Edison Overdid the Matter OF
< Furnishing the Circus
!: With Freaks.
Chicago News)

Chicago News)
II always regarded it as queer
said the man. how foolish, if not Gus
sed, your wife's relatives always are.
Tha only thing that approaches EN-
for general alI-round never doing the
RICH. thing at the right time is the
family of a party's son-in-law, the lat
ter furnishing the star example.
Your Wife's brother never knows
nothing, mellow, and the worst OF 1t Is
re is convinced that o don't know
ANYTHING yourself. He knows you lick
the children TOO much or else not
enough. and that you have managed
FOUR affairs so badly that YOU are not
buying your wife so many and such
good dresses as she was used to when
her dad was furnishing EN-. and it's
a shame TO see her losing her looks
shaving for you and those children
that take after you If they're bad,
though they are dear little things,
just like their mother, if they're good.
Edison G. Sonderby was Of Did CO.
ionial stock. but he first got his name
in the paper when he married my sis
ter EN-. He said he saw that many
emf Of endeavor were closed
through the trusts n the politicians
SO he figured it out that in making a
living it would be we'll to try some
thing that was not yet monopolized.
Now. It seems to me that acquir-
ing a competence through eating
would be a pleasant and original way
Of doing it, and I'm going to try it,
said Edison. You're not squeezing
competitors and driving them out Of
business that way. l can't think Of a
more generous method Of winning a
livelihood and I'll be stimulating trade
too. I've got seventeen agricultural
bulletins on feeding for fat and lean,
and I'm going to build myself up ana
erect myself into the best circus fat
man in the land. I'm 6 feet 3, and
when I'm through I'll be an imposing
spectacle
$50 he ct and stuffed himself and
kept very quiet and avoided worry
, and disturbing thoughts, which keep
down flesh. He confined his thoughts
to few and pleasant subjects-the
things he vas going to eat.
HE ct unanimously and systemat-
ically. Fat pork. johnnycake. olive
oil. shorts. middlings, c%otton-seed meal
and mixed feed. beef. veal, green
goose. mackerel. channel cat and hall
but, with now and then some oyster
shell, sharp grit, lobster salad and
bran mash with ashes, following VI
rious diet lists he had made UP from
the agricultural bulletins and cook
books. Well, sir, he got to be the
biggest man on either side OF the AL
leghenies and got a job with u best
circus at a big salary.
He took it sorter hard that oul
family wasn't exactly proud Of him
lever brought his name casually into
the conversation the way we would II
he had been mayor Of Peoria or lieu.
t-a@ ~ 0k1oh4vAo He
said he was doing for EN- as she had
never been done before.
"'None Of her folks ever had the
advantages Of travel says he She's
visited every part Of the United States
with me, and I'll give her the Euro
pean tour yet, for our show goes
there once in a while. And to Can
ada. too
Uncle Lafe said that none Of oul
family had eve earned their money
that way and it seemed. about the
same as begging. sitting there getting
money for letting people loo at you
well, the years run along and Ed
son saved his none and he had done
well and we were getting reconciled
to the marriage when telegram came
from EN-. She said:
"'Pa, Edison has begun to ossify
Some. Quite a lot
Il reckon she put in those las
four words to make up the ten she
was allowed. Inc 30 get her money!
worth. 1t was a act that Edison had
started ossifying at his feet and hi
legs were solid bone and 1t was work
ing up. He was cheerful over It, and
what did he do but start one of thu
biggest novelties v e heard Of. Hi
arms were working all right and HI
quit the circus and got some tools
and what did he do but sit on q bus!
street corner making collar buttons
out Of himself! Business! Money
Why, 1t was the all-firetdest none!
maker that ever happened,
"He said he knew what the mattel
was. He had been eating too; much
lime-making foods and he was tired O
being a fat man. So. after he had GU
down his weight to the desired figur.
a making collar buttons of himself
he would begin drinking distilled wa
ter and chemicals that remove lime.
Sure enough. he did-tust remov'
ed ali that bony matter; for he wa
a diet expert, you ses.. Soon he wa
the same %. svsr, except the ssurplul
fiesh he had worked up In trade Will,
1t was bone was gone and he was I
@ -.