The Washington herald., 1913-02-28
STATES1GEN-REAL AND NEAR
~ FIRED G. KELLY.

Martin LlttIeton, the New York 1aWyon
and Oyster Bay Congressman until March
4. has a good little parlor trick that he
can resort to when everybody has tired
Of charades. jackstraws and other diver.
sions. Littleton can initiate the hand
writing Of great men. While he doesn't
30 about touting himself as q Jim, the
Penman. he can dash OF an imitation
signature of almost any famous person
you might mention, and II you hadn's
seen Martin do 1t with your own eyeo
you would swear that 1t was the famous
mans own handwriting. II matters not
whether you ask for @. Washington. 7.
Roosevelt or N. Bonaparte chirography.
Martin LittIeton car do It while YOU
wait-and with the ease Of an old FASH
ioned writing teacher making q birds
nest on the blackboard
II a light is to be seen after 10 D. m,
IN q certain room Of a family hotel here
where Senator Johnston Of Alabama
dweils. one may know that tho Senator
is In foursome Of bridge and has been
losing. Senator Johnston Is, by instinct,
an early retirer and aims to be under
the covers by 10 o'clock. But II he gets
into a game Of bridge and the other side
makes the most points there is no such
thing as quitting til the Senator has won,
IL It takes all night. II he lost, he
wouldn't sleep. anyhow. so what sense
would there be in his going to bed. Yet,
he doesn't play for money; it's Just tho
principle of the thing.
We'll, It's growing late" one Of the
others remarks with a yawn; guess We
better call the thing OF til tomorrow
night"
'Oh, no, let's play another one," John.
| ston will reply; sit isn't midnight yet.
You wouldn't want TO go to bed SO soon,
would your
But IL good fortune has smiled on HIN
and he has drawn the right cards al
evening. he will say along about a quar-.
ter Of ten:
You folks will have to excuse me nova
IT'S away past my bedtime"
Representative William Schley Howard
of Georgia IL a good. quiet campaigner.
He can drive up TO a farmhouse and
shake hands SO warmly and wish everyA
body such a large bundle Of good lucA
that all feel as II the least they can do -
turn out and vote for him
The first time Howard ran for ONCE
was back in 80 when he was seeking to
| chisel his way into the State Legislature.
He was "a years old. but looked much
younger. and his opponents tried to work
up a sentiment against having little boys
| make the laws
Howard bought himself q little elacA
pony and began to ride about and beam
| into the faces of the voters. The first
man he approached interrupted him be-
fore he had time to tell his name.
Cant vote for you." said the man.
I'm going to vote for this fellow How-
ard Never saw him. but I'm going to
vote for hirl-that Is, II the Lord spares
me-"
On election day Howard happened to
be at the polls when the man came out
of the booth.
Did you vote for Howard?" asked
Howard.
Il sho' did" replied the voter, "and It
| was the first time IN my life ever
voted for a man 1 never saw
Il am Howard remarked Howard,
modestly. II am the man you voted
for
The old man adjusted his glasses.
, stared at Howard's youthful features a
| moment. and exclaimed: Heavens, il
this what I've voted for! I waited til
was ss years OF age to make a blamed
| fool of myself
Ono still hears a story now and then
about T. Roosevelt's stay in London on
his way home from that hunting jams
| Of his. IL was about the time some may
recall. of the fistic difficulty between q
Mr.. Jack johnson and Mr.. James J. JET.
fries. At a dinner given by the London
editors. T endeavored to have small talk
for everybody. When he was introduced
to the editor of the Times. he had run
out of everything slse, and 50 he asked
him casually what he thought of the
Jeffries-Johnson controversy. The editol
| was stunned. He couldn't make any re-
ply. T. passed on
A little later the Times editor wrote
to friend Of T. in regard TO the din-
ner.
There was one little episode" hs
wrote. that I can't understand. HA
asked me what I thought of the cons
! troversy between Jeffries and johnson.
did not know whether he meant the
Jeffries of the Quarterly Review, or the
one of Shakespeare's time. But. you
| know, neither one was a contemporary
of DR. Johnson. And wasn't It a queer
coincidence that at about that time there
white man called Jeffries and-a negro
called Johnson"
| T R. got considerably peeved during
his stay in London over the silly, inane
things attributed 10 him IN the newspa-
per reports.
On one occasion a paper had 1t that
while standing in front Of famous pic
| ture IN a London gallery, the colonel ex-
claimed: "Tempora mutantur." All the
| editors poked much fun at T. over tho
| remark. Punch had a whole poem about
| IL. Then one editor to make sure wired
him and asked If he had really said it.
| T. telegraphed him as follows:
| mo, II is not true. When standing in
| front of that picture I would not use 50
| modern d language at Latin. The Lam
guage I used was Sanscr!t and the words
We're: Hully Chez"
| Copyright, 1913. by Fred C. Kelly. All rtEhn re.