The Washington herald., 1913-12-31
Statesmen, Real and Near.
By FRED c. KELLY.

\ - "aAA SC NcCAucuS W lnOSc VINO rGCdll
such things, that Senator Bacon, Of
Georgia. issued q statement to some Of
the newspapers little while ago to the
general effect that there is no proper war
rant for the prevailing practice Of giving
Cabinet officers social precedence over
Senator'S.
| He made the point that membership in
the House or Senate is a constitutional
ONCE, whereas the Cabinet IL a creation
! or Congress. and that a creature can
| never be greater than It's creator. There
! fore, believes Bacon, a Senator. or even
Representative. should march out to
the dintng-room little in advance Of
Cabinet officer.
All right Maybe that Is all true, just
like the Senator said. But the first in
quiry casual by stander thinks to make
Is:
WELL what OF it?'
II you were sitting in the smoking COM
partment discussing baseball, let US say,
and right in the midst Of the argument
somebody cut in with a long statement
to show that prunes are not a beneficial
hair, 1t is almost certain that somebody
else would hasten to ask:
Who said they were?"
And so a great many persons won
dered what Bacon was getting at.
Individually his views met with perfect
accord in the Senate, especially among
the older heads The next day Senator
Gallinger though of opposite political
faith, got up and moved to have Ba-
cons statement printed in the Congress
sional Record, indicating that the same
dog was biting Gallinger.
Still there was no light on the proxi- |
mate cause OF the remarks. One theory |
was that some of the Senators were
peevish because only the Senate leaders |
were invited to the White House we'd |
ding. though invitations were sent to |
the entire Cabinet But that probably |
was not the reason, for Senator Gal |
linger, who backed up Bacon, was one |
Of the Senators invited
Not long before he issued his state
ment showing the Cabinet to the rear
Senator Bacon was invited to a little
dinner at which the guests included Lind
ley NJ. Garrison. Secretary OF War.
When all had gathered about the table !
II was found that Garrison was on
the right side OF the hostess, and Bacon
on the left side, which gave Garrison
just that much the best OF the situation.
The story Is that Bacon was vexed.
Not that he had anything against Garri-
even dispieased in the slightest degree
with the hostess. II he was irritated
1t was at the custom itself, and not with
regard to any individual.
This may or may not be the proper ex-
PLANTATION of Bacon's trying to lead his
team through the Cabinets center for a
i've or ten yard gain. The point Is that
the incident serves to remind US that the
whole social precedence business is taken
el1r 70
Looking at it in a big, broad way, it
does seem as IL the wiser course, instead
Of digging up constitutional law on the
subject to befuddle hostesses, would be
simply to take the thing good-naturedly
and laugh it OF.
II a Senator or Cabinet member is 60
ing to let the mere question of his seat
At a dinner table spoil the enjoyment OF
his meal. and possibly interfere with the
proper digestion Of his food, he is making
\ great mistake.
II some other guest is fortunate enough
10 draw preferred space at the table why
should one glare across at that guest and
run the risk Of placing a damper on the
whole party? All, how much better II
would be to crack jokes about it, poking
Iuiet fun at the more honored guest, or
he hostess. until the entire table Is tit
proposition. clever way TO pass IL on |
Z one were placed at the left instead of
he right OF the hostess, would be simply
% say that the left side is better, any
way. inasmuch as II Is customary to deal | I
o the left. This never fails to provoke
! great deal OF quiet laughter at the ex-
'ense of the person TO the right.
Another excellent scheme is to remark I
n a goOd-humored but dry way: I
1T doesn't matter TO me where I sit, | 1
70 long as am reasonably close to the
ood supply" Or /
Il am too hungry to care about such [
etails as where 1 sit I
Little veiled references like these to the /,
ood itself are certain TO please the Z
ostess, as il shows expectation on the !,
art OF the guest TO enjoy himself and n
elish the dainty edibles she has prepared. q
II the man at the left seems to be get n
ing the best of the repartee. the guest
pposite can come back with some al :
Ision TO the Biblical phrase about the =
heep and the goats. This one has been =
sed again and again by amateur dinner
able comedians and nearly always gets
laugh.
In cases where the hostess Is young and Il
eautiful, or even il she isn't it is fine n
lea for the man at her left to make N
1me quiet remark about the left side \
cling closer to the heart. Z,
Oh, there are dozens of amusing lit ci
q aphorisms one can work in IL one is N
all clever, and any of these is better HI
ian to sit glumly fretting over the for e,
lalities OF the occasion not being in n
ne's favor. A little practice and OBJ h
srvation will soon enable one to know
lst what stun will 30 best. .
,opyTisht. 1914. By Fred c. Kelly, all rights 70
reseTTedl