davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
- The -
Scrap Book
tn. Impression II. Gave.

The learned English jurist, Judge
Willis. was very democratic and gen
ial sort of man. On one occasion go
ing home in an omnibus which landed
him ut an inn known as the Green
Man, he as usual passed the time In
friendly discourse with the passengers.
To one housewife who had been mar
keting he delivered well meant lee
ture on the purchasing power of money.
the tariff, free trade and domestic and
political economy. To other passengers
he talked freely and dispensed counsel
and advice indiscriminately. Arrived
at his destination, he intimated to the
conductor. Il want to get out Mt the
Green Man" Accordingly the omnibus
slowed down, but as he was leaving his
seat lady touched him ON the sleeve
and earnestly inquired, MY good man,
don't you think you've had enough?
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Just Hustle.

It may be that worm may think,
AS also may mole.
II so, 1t is small use to them;
They're always in a hole.
IT'S said that every fish that swims
Has something of brain.
But under water all their lives
The fishes must remain.
We cannot blame worms, mole or fish.
For they are built that way.
They must exist just as they are
Where nature bids them stay.
There are some men on this good earth
Most everywhere they're found
Who whine because they say they're KEPT
With noses to the ground.
But there is no excuse for them
No, not little bit
II in a hole tits hustle that
Will get them out of it.
New York Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Dire Threat.

Mrs Wodgabum was pretty angry.
She wasn't Il Jealous person, but there
were limits to her endurance.
The other morning she delivered her.
self as follows to Mr.. Wodgabum:
'This is the fourth time I've caught
you in the kitchen talking to the cook.
The next time
"Well. what will you do the next
time?'
"I'll fire the cook and do the cooking
myselfv'
This, it is said. entirely cured Mr..
Wodgabum of his fussy habits. and
they lived happily ever after.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
What Wa, Wrona.

A sentimental young lady from
town was on the steamship quay.
where she saw young girl sitting on
a trunk in an attitude of utter dejec-
tion and despair.
Poor thing!' thought the romantic
young lady. "She is probably alone
and stranger. Her pale cheeks and
great, sad eyes tell Of broken heart
and yearning sympathy"
She went over to the traveller to win
her confidence.
Crossed in love?" she asked sym
pathetically.
No" replied the girl. with a sigh;
"crossed III the Frolic and an awfully
rough passage too" - Weekly Tele-
graph.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Old Fashioned.

ObQ 600OJ0UOOs
When my paw married NAV. he say8
To him 1t never once occurred
That he would coon get tired OF her
An want q second or a third.
He never had no notion that
He'd ever live to see the day
Some sweeter. finer girl than maw
Would come a-dancin' cross his way.
An when the parson made 'en one
An gave nav 10 him as ills wife
He says the joyous thought he had
Was that the knot was tied for life.
My paw says he an nav have lived
Together now for twenty years.
An in that time they've shared lot
O. sunny smiles an scaldin' tears.
But never once has 1t occurred
T. him that they should separate
An bust up home that way that folks
So easy do at this late date.
He's never thought o. gittin' tired
Or lawin' for quick divorce.
He says they've jes' KEEP lovin' on.
But they're old fashioned folks. Of
course.
Detroit Free Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Reeves and TooIs.

Sims Reeves told this story in his
Reimbursement" @
~ was playing the part Of Tom Tug
in company with my excellent friend
]. L. Toole. who was also member
Of the cast. In The Waterman word
or two Of gag is held to be permissible.
and. partly to amuse the audience,
partly to astonish my excellent fellow
actor, said to him in certain scene
in reply to his question:
What's the meaning Of al thisf
"'The meaning Of 1t is that you've
been made tool Of. and I'm happy
fellow. ra. s,+ a....
.Johnnie looked very much surprised.
and. as popular comedian does not II
he can help It allow himself to be SCOT
ed OF. after moments reflection, dur
ing which he must have suffered the
keenest agony, replied:
so It Sims !"
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
How's Business?

Business is poor. said the beggar.
Said the undertaken Its dead"
"Falling off," said the riding school teach
er:
The druggist. oh. Wall" he said.
"It's all write with me-" said the author:
"Picking up.". said the man on the dump.
my business is sound" quoth the bands
man.
Said the athlete. "Im kept on the jump"
The bother declard. "It is corking:"
The parson. Its good" answered he.
II make both ends meat" said the BUTCH
er.
The tailor replied. 1T suits me-"
<g- Pittsburgh Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Better OF.

One day during rehearsal at His
Majestys theater in London. Sir Her
bert Tree told rather incompetent
young actor to step back little. The
actor did so. and the rehearsal proceed
ed. After a few seconds Sir Herbert
repeated his request. "A little farther
back. please"
The actor stepped back again. Sir
Herbert surveyed him critically for a
moment and continued the rehearsal.
Then for third time Sir Herbert ask
ed him to stand back a little.
But" protested the actor. IF stand
farther back shall be off the stage al
together"
YES" agreed Sir Herbert. that will
be much better"
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
A Turkish Joke.

A certain sultan of Turkey was very
fond Of gossip and sent for the banker
Abraham Beg to learn the small talk
of Pera and Stamboul. AS Abraham
was being conducted to the sultan's
residence by the master of the horse
that functionary begged him should
the sultan question him on the subject
to say that the funds were ut 80. his
majesty having been SO informed by
his ministers.
Poor Abraham consented.
He had not been long with Abdul
Azix when he was questioned as to the
funds and replied as he had promised.
To the horror Of the banker. the sui
ton expressed himself delighted and
handed Abraham large bundle of
bonds to sell for him.
Abraham sold at, 12 and paid Abdul
Aziz 80. The sultan had originated
that little Joke"
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Tho Humble Hero.

He was not Of the royal blood.
He did not seem to know his worth.
But In our common brotherhood
He was a hero of the earth.
God gave him grace to work and wait
And strength and patience to endure
And faith and hope which. soon or late.
A crown OF triumph would insure.
He looked not to the heights for fame
Nor walked where wild ambition leads.
Content on earth to wreathe his name
With kind and helpful little deeds.
The world seemed brighter for his smile.
And hearts were glad to have him near
Broadening life's nobler scope the while
He moved within his humble sphere.
Joseph W. Humphries
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
The ---
Scrap S. :|!' Book
Old eagle Eyes" Mean Trick.


Jake Beckley was one of the few
players who ever made me look like q
monkey" said old Honus Wagner Of
the Pirates the other day. "It happen
ed in Louisville years ago, and Tim
Hurst was umpiring. was on first
base and saw Jake hide the ball under
his arm. told him several times was
wise to. such bush league stun. but
Jake pretended he did not hear. Final
", when Hurst was not looking, i
grabbed the ball from under Jake's arm
and threw 1t into right field. Then
started for second base, only to have
the pitcher throw another ball to the
second baseman. and was run down
between the bases. ! felt so cheap I
could have dropped clean through to
China. Beckley had been holding
dummy ball. New York Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
can,t eeat the old Z Man.

Father ruefully gazed on his last
quarter.
"Money has wings. and house rents
make it fly," he said.
t"Yes." said his f1fteen-year-old scout
son. land some houses have wings, for
I've seen many house 6y."
you're smarter than your old dad,
maybe. my son, but I always thought
no part Of house except the chimney
aue."-Chicago Record Herald.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Lend a Hand Anywhere.

I0U0 y 0an0 .AOywu0F0s
II you cannot on the ocean
Sail among the swiftest fleet,
Rocking on the highest billow,
Laughing at the storms you meet,
You. can stand among the sailors
Anchored yet within the bay.
You can lend hand to help them
As they launch their boats away.
II you cannot in the harvest
Garner up the richest shcaves
Many a grain both ripe and golden
May the careless reapers leave.
Go and CLEAN among the briers
Growing rank against the wall.
For 1t may be that their shadow
Hides the heaviest wheat Of all.
Do not. then. stand idly waiting h
For some greater work to do.
Fortune Is tickle goddess.
She will never come to you.
Go and toll in any vineyard.
Do not fear to do and dare.
II you want field of labor
You can find 1t anywhere.
Margaret E. Sangster.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Smart Boy.

''You are an honest boy" said the
lady as she opened the roll of Eve one
dollar bills. .but the money lost was
a ave dollar bill. Didn't you see that
In the advertisement?
"Yessim," replied the boy. 1T was
q Eve dollar bill that found. hut had
It changed so that you could pay me q
reward."-Cincinunti Enquirer.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

'What is young man to do when
his attention has been arrested by a
pretty girl?"
why. carry his case to court, Of
c0urse."-Red Hen.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
He Can't Kick.

Mother wears a hobble skirt:
Daughter wears tube:
Father wears last years suit
And looks quite like . rube.
Mothers hats from Panama:
Daughters from Paree;
Father wears q wornout lid
He's worn for seasons three.
Mothers purse is golden meshed;
Face dope sisters fills: 81.
Father needs no purse at all.
For father foots the bills.
Milwaukee Free Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

"Jim certainly acted in a contrary
way when he found out that Clarissa's
beauty he was so proud Of was half
paint and powder
what did he do?"
"Why. declared he was put out when
he found he had been taken in."-Bal-
timore American.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

'.That young fellow seems to have
made hit at your home.''
"Yes: 1 Judge he has. Mas investi-
eating his family tree and pas looking
up his commercial standing. Wash.
fngton Herald sl',i \. e. s a'5
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

First Beggar-what are you doing
here, Pete? l thought your stand was
on the bridge.
Second Beggar-Oh, l gave that to
my son as wedding present.-Meg-
gendorfer Blatter.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

The weather prophet is a man
Like other mortals. oft perplexed:
He has to do the best he can
And wait and see what happens next.
Washington Star.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Hatpinss.

There was q man in our town.
And he was wondrous wise.
And he got caught in u bargain rush Z
And scratched out bnth his eyes.
And when he found his eyes were out
With all his might and main
He Jumped into q motor bus
fss And scrats he'd them In again.
s d, Chicago Daily News.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Barber-Try a bottle Of this prepara-
ton, sir; splendid thing for badness.
Customer-Perhapsi it is. but I've got
all the badness want, thank you
New York Journal.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

IT'S the early bird that catches the worm
No doubt you've often heard,
But don't forget it's the early worm
That's caught by the early bird.
& New York Telegram.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

One Lawyer to Another You are the
biggest fool l ever saw!
Judge-Order. order: You forget that
I'm in the room!-Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Johnny, go and shut the shutter"
Johnny heard his mother utter.
Shutters shut!" did Johnny mutter.
II can't shut 'er any shutter!"
Pittsburgh Press.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

They thought their troth eternal,
But time plays sorry tricks.
She turned from home, and husband
To take up politics.
While he who swore to love her
Till all the seas were dry
Upon q chorus beauty
Now turns a longing eye.
.-Btrmingham Age-Herald.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

ITO the girl who sat on my coat.l
I loved you for your bushes ripe
And tempting lips-ahem!-
Until you flounced upon my pipe
And crushed the amber stem.
st. Louis Republic.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

The very folks who like to show
For royalty they aren't
Like most, when they to concerts go
The "piece'' with air apparent.
New York Sun.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Among themselves the birds converse.
And though their secrets well they keep
We know that some are not 20 worse
But sparrows' talk Y always cheep.
kansas City Star.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

doctor, my wife has lost her voice.
What can I do about it?" 'Try get
ting home late some night. Boston
Transcript.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Oft to his home he walked afar
When courting did the brother.
But not once misses now hiS car
- Stopping to kisa his mother.
ssfTss'' Z 5tppincott'S o.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

!. ..Jack9 why. he NJ one of ths best
boys under the ssnn 81
.Yes. sbut you ought to see him when
the stars are out. = Smart Set.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

De Friend-What is that picture in.
tended to represent?
De Artist-Board and lodging for six
weeks.-Milwaukee Wisconsin.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

oh. science makes great strides these
days,
And we are thrilled .
BY many fine newfangled ways
OF being killed!
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
prince Danilo's. Story.

ilE t4t
The patriarchal manners Of the little
court. of Montenegro are well known.
King Nicholas lives the simple life Of u
shepherd king. and his wife has brought
.np her family herself. Every evening
:she used 70 bring the children round ld
lei, flA,se daughters Y whom King Mich
olas is once said to have mentioned In
reply to the accusation that his country
had no exports. and the son. Prince
Danilo. Z
Every night she told them one of the
legends Of the Black mountains from
which their country takes its name,
and every night the little children had
In turn to tell her y story. the most sue.
cessful being rewarded with a sweet
meat. fs 4
One evening little Danilo was very
thoughtful and refused to tell his story.
saying he was, really too sad. d.
Come. come, Danilo; must insist, |"
said his mother. y i
A very short one. then"
as.All right, "a very short one. =
'.'Ahd you will kiss me after have
told It ~ ~ g
TITS PROMISE
"Well, then. once upon time there
was sevres vase. and ! have just bro
ken II. al ssssssss %
The Sevres vase was 9 present from
the French republic, but Danilo'sS moth
er had to keep her word and kiss the
Gaulprit. New York Sun. {. j.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

.Hard workin' wife you've got, Bill"
"Yes; / wish I'd a couple more like
her Sydney Bulletin.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

He sang to her under the window.
He told Of the peaceful night:
He sang. .'5ow serenely quiet
Is all meath the stars 10 brtght!"
But Just as he reached the stanxa
That ended with ''silver moon"
Her father appeared at the window.
And ne instantly changed his tune.
81 5 '4sf to -Lippincott's Magazine
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

The small boys growing rather slum.
He's anxious as ne waits. ,,a.
It seems the time will never come
For him to put on skates.
Fun Magazine.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Pouting Wife-You used to call me
the light Ut your life.
Hub SO did. but I had no idea the
meter was going to register such a cost.
Boston Transcript.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
Clear Case Of Madness.

John Blank Of Ohio is Il politician OF
considerable influence in his state. One
evening wien lie was in Washington
he was invited ~ dine at the home Ot
John r. Mclean. who dabbles III d.,
politics and costly tapestries.
Every time Mr.. Mclean hears Of
tapestry sale in Europe lie pcels OF
section Of mis- bank roll, hands it to an
agent and tells him to blow 1t In on
the hangings.
Blanks appetite was very poor that
night Apparently he WAS in great
physical pain or felt the gnawing clutch
of u secret sorrow. When he got back
to Ohio he made this mou;nful an
nouncement:
1--WE always heard that John r. Nc
Lean was Il wise old guy. It's mis-
take. That old fellow is as crazy as Il
loon. He took me in to dinner In II
room where there was absolutely moth
ing on the floor and all the carpets
were hanging OH the wall."-Popular
Magazine.
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31

Hi-That's a bad cough.
Sill know. but it's the best I've got
Tiger. .4s5f
The Washburn leader., 1913-01-31
WalI Confirmed.

The Rev. Joshua Kimber, in his
"reminiscences in the Living Church.
tells the following anecdote Of the
late Bishop Horatio Porter: "He had
been journeying up the east bank Of
the Hudson river, stopping for con-
firmation each day at adjoining par
ishes. When he reached Poughkeepsfe
he saw woman at the rail waiting for
confirmation whose face he was sure
he recognized and was somewhat Ia
miliar with. He was also certain that
she had been confirmed within the
week at another place. The bishop
whispered to her to remain after serv-
ice and said: MY dear madam, what
do you mean by coming for confirma-
ton? am sure confirmed you Mon
day at such a place. Did l not? She
said: You certainly did. have been
following you up the river and have
been confirmed every day this week
He. astonished. said. Why did you do
thaty Whereupon she replied. Be
cause heard 1t was good for rheuma-
tism.'" @%
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-04-10

If you have something of value that you desire
Absolutely Protected from loss then you require the
best protection available
At large expense his bank has installed the most
Modern Burglar Proof, Fire p oof Deposit Vault
that can be found in this section of the County.
Always guarded by inside night watchman Pri-
vate booths to examine your securities.
The incidental expense is small we ask your
Inspection
Wills kept without charge.
We offer what we'll be termed Absolute Security.
Three per cent interest paid in savings Depart
ment and on Certificates from day received 10 day
of withdrawal.
Accounts solicited
Capital and Surplus $2ooooo
Assets over S 100000
Lambertville National Bank
CALVIN SOlIDAY, President
FRANK A. PHILLIPS, Vice President and Cashier
W s. HULSHlZER, Asst. Cashier.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-09-12
NOT ATLANTIC NO. 2.
Steamer in Auburn Storehouse Must
Be One Sent to HalIowel.

About two weeks ago tie journal
Iprlnted Il brief article relating to the
steam fire engine Atlantic Ne. ,. which
! Wis built in Augusta, and WIS for a
| time included in the fire apparatus of
| the city. but was later sold to the
town of Livermore Falls.
The publication of the article was
due TO the receipt of a letter by Chief
Engineer Buckley of the fire depart
ment. from the Androscoggin Foundry
Co, Of Auburn, stating that they had
"a steamer in their storehouse which
had been built by Hill * Moorlen of
Augusta. and asking for information
concerning the machine. At the time
of the receipt of the letter by Chief
Buckley it was thought that the en-
CINE referred to must he the Atlantic
No. > but since the article came out
it has been learned that the steamer
now in the possession of the Auburn
concern is not the one mentioned
above but different machine.
The knowledge of this fact came
about through the visit, last week. of
j. Howard Chandler and A. Il. Ward.
10 Livermore Falls, where. during their
stay in that town, they had the pleas
ure of looking over the old steamer
Atlantic No. ,. They also learned that
she had been there ever since pur-
chased of the city of Augusta, in the
hate sos. The steamer has not been
used for fighting fire for n year or
more. because of the fact that the
town has an excellent system of water
works, but she is still in good condi-
ton, and could he counted ON to de
her part in case her help was needed
MI Chandler. who WAS engineer of
the Atlantic No ,, when she was own
ed by the city, has always retained a
deep interest in the machine, and likes
To talk about her at any time. In
speaking Thursday, about her, he re-
called the incident of the taking of the
steamer to her new home at Liver
more Falls. and of the reception that
WIS accorded her. The people of that
town, he said, made the arrival of the
steamer the occasion for a regular
Fourth of July celebration. and the
whole town turned out to see the fun
\ steam fire engine was something
rev to Livermore Falls in those days.
and Of course, after looking the new
machine over. everybody wanted to see
her squirt" She was first tried with
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-09-12

Iene line of hose, and then with two,
and it is said that she threw water
TO beat the band Then. as a final
test, they got out all the fire hose they
had in the Nillage--a bout 1870 icet and
coupled it on. The line of hose was
laid up Il hill to where there were two
churches, ana u stream of water was
sent over the reofs. and Mr. chandler
states that if they had had. one more
.jcint If hose, So as to have got nearer
.thc buildings, they could have sent
streaa over the steeples.
Some Years ago, perhaps dozen. the
old steamer came very near going out
df commission. Mr. Chambers brother
George Was' the engineer at the time.
and during the progress of "A hie fire
" hich they We're fighting, the blaze
got 50 near Ia the steamer tHat they
had t. lave her. and the wheels and
ether woodwork about her were de-
stroyed She Was rebuilt however
and continued on the job until the
coming Of the waterwerks lesseaed
hor duties, but she is still ready if
needed.
REGARDING the steamer which is now
in Auburn, Chief Buckley thinks thai
tvitb,uf doubt ii must be The mate to
the Atlantic No. 2-the one which WAS
taken Ia Hallowell, for there We're but
two STEAMERS built by Hill 4 Maarien.
and the Whereabouts of the Atlantic
no IS no longer q mystery.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-09-12
Times are busy on Rines hill jus

Tir,es are busy on Rines hill just
at present. and the lIassam eos.
crew is making good Roadway. The
space between the rails of the street
railway has been filled with crushed
rock. preparatory to putting an the
coating of pavement which the com
pany uses, and work was in progress,
picking up the old tar mac
adam pavement with which the road
way ON the hill has heretofore been
covered. this work beine carried ort
a. far as the north end of the bridge.
or the west side Of the hill tue con-
crete curbing for the sidewalk is be-
ing put in, and is we'll underway. The
removal of the form for some dis
lance up the hill shows the curblng
to he very neat in appearances. and it
is expected to he very durable. The
sidewalk will be SIS feet in width from
the clrbing and will he laid in con-
crete. as a granolithie sidewalk on the
hill. II Is claimed, would be TOO
smooth
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-09-12
OPERA HOUSE.
New Picture Program Today.

The regular week END change in the
Opera hohse program takes place to-
day and It offers a rare selection of the
choicest photo PLAYS ohtainable. Lead
ing the list is a great two reel Bio
graph drama entitled The Reformers.
or the Lost Art of Winding Ones own
Business" Other subjects worthy of
mention are THE Alibi' strong Ka-
lem drama. Their Promise an Es-
ganay Western comedy, The Stolen
Moccasins." Selig Western drama and
Two Nitigraph comedies The Ruhe
and the Boob and The Scheme Of
Shlftless Sam Smith. ADV.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-09-12

The annual reunion of the 11th
Maine Regiment opened in Bangor, on
"Wednesday, in City hall with II sur
Sivors present The election of offs
GERS resulted as follows: DR.. Joseph
Knox of orono, president; William
II. Garry of Corinth and l.. S. Kelley
of Lubec. vice presidents; Thomas T..
Tabor of Bangor, secretary treasurer;
DIR. George b. Noyes of StoniEgton.
chaplain. Since the last reunion II
members have died. At campfire,
Wednesday night, it was voted t,olhold
the next reunion at Bangor,