New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-14
AS / WAS SAYING

Toast for breakfast: Success to crime" But we
shall sin in good company and the provocation Is
great.
Writing "as a British merchant, SIT Thomas
Linton Tells us he intends To exhbiT al pan
Francisco. no maTTer what The ATTITUDE OF The
British governmentT, and adds ThaI' pul ing
aside The international questions involved, IT Is
absolutely essential for Strictly business purposes
that Great Britain be adequately represented
But no! our heart fails just as we are aooul
To utter a beautiful Thought or TWO on Inc
Thrilling sport Of yachting.
Happy, happy happy Mr.. L. c. Dillman who Is
rich and Seattle man, and associate OF MT D. D.
Hill and quite peaceably Of Mrs l.. c.. Is seated IN
huge luck Verify his cup sloppeth over ana some
say as much of L. c., for he has come out win no
fower than fourteen theories account for his mari
tai bliss
But personally, we like L. c. We admire his
pluck and, mostly his principles. We object now
ever, when he bids have no dogs or pets OF any
kind" oh, heresy!
Did we not endure an involuntary transarshaft
intimacy with the Squabbleton Bckerfords-'wars
and tumors Of wars"-and observe what prevented
a divorce? Twas Fido. They were only heid TO-
gether by the dog. Whenever they discussed Keno
the battling the heartbreakng. the peace-at-any-
price question stared them In the face. Then which
Of US would have the custody Of F1doY'
Moreover, oppose l.. C.s precept, DlVioe 'he
That way ruin lies. Naturally, you
take the first half Mrs. You the rest But right in
the middle OF a harllfting yarn, you come to those
terrible words. Continued page 5I6, column ~
And plague take il! she has that very page and Is
deep in the advertisement OF spider-web stockings
marked down TO 81 a pair.
Nevertheless we think l.. c. is headed for the
right idea. which is: Two newspapers
Further TO explain why our Wild and terrible medi-
cal students become such exemplary physicians. J.
u. w. writes Isn't this partly due to the softennS
influences OF the profession? For instance viVSec-
ton"
Unquestionably. what more humanizng. really.
than vlvlsection? Many time We have seen II
viviseconist rise at O'Clock In the morning TO turn
the monkeys over in their little white beds.
The Hon. John Worth Kern. OF Indiana. has been
denouncing our "perfumed naval officers" and none
too suddenly. In time Of war they lend aid and
comfort to the enemy by simplifying the search
problem. In time OF peace their indulgence stains
the fingers.
Besides, 1t is awful the way one perfume leads to
another Surely. you have not forgotten what hap
pened to that voluptuously perfumed Russian, Adj
mirable Rumjinwhiskey.
We hate to take issue with polished Partisan like
that his sighting comments on prison life hardly
did him Justice. True, there is something bit
drab about prison. at the time, yet how jubant the
existence OF an ex-convicti
Though reluctant to awaken the cravings Of envy
in readers who never did any harm. We snip from
a Maine newspaper the following kodak OF ex-con-
Wet felicity:
"a letter from Samuel ID. Haynes indicates that
ne is absorbing plenty OF sunshine and enjoying HIM
self generally He recently had the pleasure OF
meeting ex-Warden Wggin and hopes to avail him
self OF the opportunity Of being the latters guest at
Saco for week or So Everywhere he the
glad hand is extended to him. Boston Sunday
paper undertook to series Of articles from
him, but at present Mr. Haynes is refNaining from
rushing into print"
That settles it. We shall not resist arrest.
For one so young-it had fftieth birthday last
week-the Credit Lyonnas has learned a heap about
banking. We know. 1t is our bank. and we daunt-
essy advise all travellers In France to espouse It,
So businesske! So direct! So Enthusiastically
French!
To obtain a check book sign In but two places.
To cash check. indorse with your name, your adj
dress and the date. Then aflx two stamps and
write your name Paris" and the date across each
stamp. Receive pink slip. Wait in line TIL an
official in a cage bawls a parody on your name.
To deposit check. indorse with your name your
address and the date Wait while the teller fills
out a stub and coupon. Sign the coupon Wait
while he fills out receipt. runs to the books hunts
you up in folio writes the amount (oten correctly,
trots a far end OF the establishment to get the
receipt countersgned and returns smiling: "Bien,
r. onsieur! Viola raffaire!
To obtain a letter OF credit, wait three days.
To draw money a letter OF credit. walk upstairs,
cross n magnificent salon, enter Office state your
case receive ticket for your letter OF credit return
10 ntu-
ire" Punch" "Fliegende Bitter" "Asno." Eel
Snorto" THE Oily Mile" and The Tribune, and pass
"A pleasant hour conversng with foreigners At last
comes a waiter with tray. and the tray your
letter OF credit and your money. Tip the waiter
and depart in peace.
Yes brethren, dauntlessly recommend the
French bank-and a basket luncheon. r. L. H.
NEW YORK FROM THE SUBURBS.