davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Scarce as Hens Teeth.

Mr.. Crimsonbeak-That bachelor
friend of mine is looking for a partner
for his joys and sorrows.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Weu, it seems
to me he's a long time about it.
Yes; you see, he's looking for a
siIent partner"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Made a Complete Job.

Mrs. Dungleford, has your husband
been cured of his cacoathes scriben-
di YETI"
II think SO; the surgeons took
that out when they removed his vermi-
form appendix
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Sufficient Evidence.

Sambo-Whar you get dat chicken?
Mark Anthony-Nebber you mind
bout dat chicken. faint yours.
How you know 'tain't?'
Cause [ found hit in youah coop"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
To Study sesuscitation Effects.

The American Medical association.
IS to make a study of methods of re
suscitation from electric shocks Many
emmett physicians and electrical en-
gineers are to cooperate in the inves-
ttgation, which it is hoped will have
important practical results.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
PASSING 1t On,

: THE widow is tardy.''
But, you know, it runs in the fam
lily"
IN the family?"
Yes; you forget aer late husband"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Black Record.

There goes a man of dark deeds"
BLESS u.s. What does he do?"
Puts in coal"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Musical Conductor

4 want to make complaint of one of
your conductors said the fussy
patron Of car line; "he is always
whistling or singing while on duty"
Well, l can't see that there is any
harm in that replied the superintcnd-
emit
Perhaps not. But [ didn't know
you employed him as musical con-
ductor''
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Would Never M

An actor, being unable to find work
on the stage and needing his meals,
finally obtained the promise of a con-
ductors job on the street car lines.
When do l report?'
''At a. m. sharp" said the man
ager.
Shades of BOOTH" exclaimed the
Thespian q couldn't stand such
hours. The fines would offset the sal
airy. Why, I'd be late for rehearsal
every day"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
William Jackson hear you en-
gagged a deaf and dumb man yester-
day.
Proprietor of Quick Lunch Room
Yes.
Going to make a waiter of him ?"
mo; he's going to make signs"
Eariy Correction.

Many men who've won high honor
Feel disposed the fates to thank
That the hand that rocked the cradle
Was the hand that used to spank
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Demonstration.

Now, Mr. Fresche," said the profes-
sor, can you demonstrate that X
equals o."
Sure" said Mr.. F'resche. "I write
home asking the governor for an X
and get nething-Q. E. D."
Excellent" returned the professor
"I'll give you the same for your mark. y
-Harper's Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

shot by HE, giving me barely time to
that fleeting glimpse l recognized
them both.
I, was Louise with Hugh Crandan.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Afraid of DraHohts.

Did you ever see any one so afraid
OF draughts as Aunt Martha9"
'rNo; she'd put wrap on if she
came into the room and found bu-
reau drawer open."-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Kindred Oil,

What are you going to use for mo-
tive power in your dirigible?"
Gasoline and kindred OIL
Gee, my wife has some kindred I'd
like to turn over to you for you to
make oil Of
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
EIatterY.

A very smooth photographer,
Who does a lot of biz,
Makes nearly every girl he "takes"
More lovely than she is.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
A Flicker Star.

She sent this news from old Broadway,
I'm starring in a brand-new play"
But when her parents loked for her
They found her where the movies" were
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Live Each D9v

Foresight is very wise, but for sor-
row. is very foolish; and castles are,
at any rate, better than dungeons in
the air.-Sir John Lubbock
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Doubtful Kindness.

Doris-Well, Dicky, have you done
your kind action today?
Dicky Ca jealous boy scout)-Rath-
err | gave my white mice to the cat
Sketch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

Advice is like a bitter pill-easy to
give but uneasy to take
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

1t takes all the fun out of doing a
thing if you get paid for doing it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
keepinQ Her Word

Josephine-Do you know to whom
Stella is engaged?
Margaret-Yes, but l promised /
would not tell However, don't
thing there'l be any harm in my writ
ing his name on a piece of paper for
you.-Satire.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Unusual,

"a candlemaker combines ex.
tremes.'
How sou
His business is both cereous and
light
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

Don't become so busy giving advice
that YOU have no time to mind your
own business.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
To Her Incredible, Otherwise.

He-My brother is making more
money than he can spend.
She Goodness! Where's he work
ing, in the mint?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
Out of Siuht.

Redd-I don't think there is any
thing pretty about that submarine
hDat
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

1t is easier for love to find the way
than it is to pay the way.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

When a woman gets fat it doesn't
broaden her mind.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

We'll, fer instance-take you an
me. Ye're trespassin'; ye're ketchin'
traout aout o season, an I'm con-
stable O. this hyer taownship. -
Scribner's Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
The Perverse Sex.

81 thought you had such good
maid coming?"
Il did But when she called up on
the phone my husband answered her"
"Weu?"
'FWeH, he was so much charmed by
her voice that l didn't engage her"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09
E5SV,

IF I were dealing with those Eng
fish suffragettes who go on hunger
strikes I'd soon break up the scheme
How would you do it?"
whenever they started anything Of
that kind I'd slip a plate Of pickles in
.I,o oNIl
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

BOAT
Greene-No, And yet at times it
appears to be ''out of sight
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-09

ES7 TRADE nARh
VS. stirred BLOOD

flow of perfect blood through them?
Unimpaired arteries, Perfect Diges-
ton, and constant sure elimination
of waste products, are the best guar
antee of healthful and peaceful old
age. Tonitives are offered as an aid
in securing these fundamental condi-
tons. 75c. per box Of dealers or by
mail. The Tonitives Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

Copy for regular advertissg1ents onse bs in hv 70 o'clock on the dsy o4 publlea&lea.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

Registered mall will close at 4:so ana the ordinary mali win close at ?. n. on Monday.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

t.s S%
 ou. ps.ng cs.,sa fazces,oaas essad ths.r swsstnearss and their witss l.. going 70 br,gnten things up iramessuraD'y. |. is just the thing needed to keep any of use from going to ssed this winter ana 1t win make many an evening pass with sparkle and rattle and ginger which otherwise might be spent in being sorry for ourselves or trying to dIg up one more thing in the universe to kick about.
 Everybody ought to get the baseball habit It's great habit once you get thoroughly into it and before long the most important evening" in the week will be those on which the big league teams strive one with the other for the mastery of the diamond.
 It will not be long until the weekly averages and standing of the teams will be of more importance than the date of the arrival of the next mail and-we were going to say something Q bout a few quiet little wagers on the outcome of the series but we are not sure as to the law in regard to such things. Anyway the starting of the league games on Friday night with T big double header will be ono of the crowning features of the winter life in Nome and we expetc to see every saat. box and bleacher taken.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
NOTICE TO rHs svsllc

After being washed out by thA- aacr,~ the Nome Tailoring Co. is rssnodslsa and open for business. cleaning psva.. ing and repairing. Suits made to eeee.
 All kinds of fur work done. Wa.;xi be pleased to meet our old fEasndA saA ratrons at the old stand bstWeen. =. nrstrcm and FIagen's and zehnsr =. eiery stores. aAv
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

Subscribe for Nome Daily Nusss.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

One billion one hundred and eight million dollars. That is & whole lot of money and yet 1t is the amount which has been estimated as required to run this country of ours for the next fiscal year.
 Most of this tremendous amount will be used In paying salaries to various and sundry government ofIlciala. \ good many of them necessary and competent government oficials and a good many of them absolutely un- necessary and incompetent govern ment ofYicials.
 It would be e remarkable thing md a ludicrous thins. if 1t were not % pitiful. the amount of money that is wasted by the government in paying salaries to men who are not needed at all In the government service or who arc incompetent to flll the posi- tons they hold or who are kept in once, often In oflices made for thoan. merely in order that someone may pay a political debt.
 This does not apply to all govern- ment ofiiciais or even to a majority of them. but to far too great minority of the servants of the people arc ho,d- ing down positions for which there is absolutely no need and arc getting a good deal more for their work than it is worth.
 There seems to be a remarkable blight hanging over all government off,ces especially In Washington which makes 1t necessary to employ about twice the necessary force at considsr- ably more salary than the actual work of the oflice demands.
 No manufacturing plant or business concern could live a yaer if 1t was as wastefui in regard to the employment of labor. and by labor we are speaking of all government positions from the highest to the lowest, as is the gov ernment of the United States.
 It seems almost an inverible custom in the government service to employ two men to do one mans work. That is. the work that one man would do if he were working for himself or for private corporation.
 From the capital of the nation down. with, of course. some notable excepQ- tions. the average government em- pioyc takes life pretty easy. He drifts into his oftice between nine and ten and he spends a contented day amb- ling about the place or doing half of . real days work and promptly at four he's "off to the races"
 The worst of 1t is that this gets to be habit and after while the man who is holding down the job begins to think that hc really il doing some work and then when tho wheel turns aud he has to get out and earn a kVluH 1H Ak81u " O1SAsO &VWs4 sS sssS actual produce or starve' life of tho plain citizen whose livelihood depends upon his own efforts.
 All of this works two hardships. It is hardship on the man who has to really go to work after setting out of the habit and 1t is hardship on the people who are paying too much in order that there may be two men in tho government employ where one would suflice.
 Anyway we look at 1t government is a mighty expensive necessity but it Is a necessity and we could not get on without it. This country could be run. however. and run just as well es it is at present with about one-third less onlciais. But in that ease how
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

unteeod e second caasv matter. Fob e. 1oe7. at tho Posto1os st Nome. Alaska, under the Act cf Consrss ef leAxuA .. 1S1a.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

There is going to be a whole lot 0e good accomplished by the do:a,s in the athletic world this winter. The Nome baseball league is already we'll under way and from the disp'a. os enthusiasm among the manage's ani :.ayers there will be no letup from now until the pennant is won.
 The board of directors of the league in whose hands rest the assignment Of players to the several teams has given a great deal of care to the matter of getting things evened up so that all the teams win be evenly matched an'l the gamrx interesting. The captains are keeping their men hard at 1t and when tie season opens next Friday :.ight it will be the beginning of a long series of events which will add a good deal to the enjoyment of the winter.
 Already society Is discussing the novel idea of giving box parties at the 8aE0<S " 0o AouVWCu oy 6 hsssS c~p per either at one of the cafes or at home. This seems to be good idea and shows the interest that is being taken in the games by members of the fair sex as well as by their more strs6uous brothers.
 Outside of the incalculable good which will be derived by tho players from the exercise of the game and the enjoyment which the spectators will lind in watching the diamond antics of the ball tossefs this making the evenings on which ball games are played . sort of social gathering with box parties and the like will do much to enltven the wlntcr with pleasant little social gatherings which are al. ways more delightful when there is an object for the getting together.
 There wiiI be plenty of banners made with the coiors of the rival teams in combination and every girl root6r in Nome is expected to show her loyalty to ono of tho big leagus ciubs by having ono of these flags to wave whenever her hero. or one of her heros, lines out home run or makes . particularly clever stop.
 With tho way things arc going now it would not be surprising to hear the air et the bell srcunds split with the dijllncttvs chserp of the rival teams aA1 certain t is that Nome win look lllss the scsns of . worlds series game. on Just . smaller scale. on the nights that tho diamond stars perform.
 An of this activity h the way ofl s6j4L cIsan. healthy sport for the msn en1s TT tntsrsst taken in t by thsir - - and thsir cousins and their s ss sssts fEen IT. ocnias IT. SSssA RinaSorA and misht with-
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
Official Paper

NOME, ALAskA, DEC. 2. 1918.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
 Resle taiIy fluspet Fublishsa aasly sxcspt Sunday by AM iMcspEMpGMr MGwssAsEN NOME PUBLISHING co. B. C. DIVINE 06O. 5. MAYNARD Sole Owners and Publishers RICHARD RATION, gdltsr.
 

RICHARD LAYTON. gdlssr.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
'' 4 'ANpsssoM q wsckMAN

Have taken ever ths blaming aill heestesers operated by ]. 4. Parry, and are prsparsd to give all orders prompt and sl<iliful attsntien. Hard. weed and sleigh lumber, all kinds es machined lumber.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

would the poor politicians pay their debts? Perhaps it is just as well after all to soak the common people" for
 one billion one hundred and eight
 millions.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

Do you read the Daily Nugget and keep abreast of the doinss of the out side ~orld7 Subscribe now, $200 per month delivered every night before 3 o'clock.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02

Home made MarshamslIow, Hara Candy and Fancy Chocolates, Ice Cream and sodas. Always fresh at the Ross Candy Store.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
READY FOR MAILING

The Magazine of the Nugget is now ready for mailing. Any. one desiring 10 have them already wrapped can get them at the Nugget office with stamps attached for 56c.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
uMexEELLgD NgWs sGRvicG

Of the Nome Daily Nugget Ss.oo pss month delivered to your homes every night before . o'clock.
The Nome daily nugget., 1913-12-02
suDscRlPTioss BATES.

euDecRlpTioRs BATES.
 On eAvanea) 1eeme Dailv Nsegs4 I meath ....sAAe tgems Daily NueesG . menths .eIeyee lseme Daily lgussse. l year ..s1aee oee0e WsaAay leuggee. 1 month ..eea Sesane Wesh1y lsu9gse. ysas ..eAes NUGGET AelNleeo AND 0R900lse
 MAoAx1ee4
 Qauusd Annually in octobse.) essee Dee copy.... ................se Ps1ee pse copy malls6 .............Ss 1laAes for aAvsetistng space in any e tho above publications win bsmas ss knevn on application.
 PHOlSD MAIN NO. e
The daily Alaskan., 1913-10-08
CARPET-BAGGERs APPOINTED
 TO FILL ALASKAN OFFICES

Washington, Oct. S-The mem- bers of the Safety Sea" commis- sion have been appointed by the President as follows: Representa- tive J. w. Alexander, of Missouri; Senator Duncan U. Fletcher, of Flor ida; Senator Theodore k. Burton, of Ohio; Commissioner of Navigation E T. Chamberlain, of New York; Com mandant Ellsworth P. Berttholf, United States revenue cutter ser vice; Rear Admiral Washington L. Capps, United States Navy; Capt
The daily Alaskan., 1913-10-08
CONGRESSMAN JOHNSON
 TALKS ABOUT ALASKA

Washington, D. c. Sept. SO-Al- bert Johnson, congressman from the State of Washington, in addressing the house on Alaska last week said:
 Three great world movements are making headway, all tending to great change on the Pacific and to new order of things beyond the ocean. These great moyemnets are; 1) The opening of the Panama canal.
 C2) The awakening of Asia.
 CS) The building of railroads in Alaska and the peopling of that great territory.
 These great forward movements make it certain that the world must change it's point of view. What has been the back door becomes the front door. Who will have control? Who will keep the peace on that great ocean whose very name is a synonym for peace? What nation will have commercial supremacy? o which side of the broad waters will be the New York of the Pacific? Which one of dozen ambitious cities will become another Liverpool What will be the medium of eN- change? Will it be the pound ster- ling or the Japanese yen, or the Ger man mark, or the dollar of Uncle sam?
 These great world movements will make a new Pacific. Not one of these movements can happen again There are no more hemispheres to bisect, there are no more world majorities to awaken. There are no more great domains on this con- tinent to populate and develop.
 For the purposes of this discus sion the peopling of Alaska may wei be considered in connection with the peopling of western Canada. It will be well for the United states in it's development of Alaska to walk hand in hand with the government of the Dominion of Canada. Particularly can we benefit by the example of British Columbia. We should study the laws by which that great region is being prepared for full share of the prosperity that must come to the North Pacific under the conditions which are now making.
 50 far as human wisdom can forecast the future the events of the next decade will be decisive; the conditions which they create will be Simply because our planet is just so large and not larger. If we desire that these conditions should be in accord with our wishes, we must make up our minds now.
 Thus my remarks in defense of. the House joint resolution 121 will relate to two problems:
The daily Alaskan., 1913-10-08

"(D The development and de fense of Alaska.
 "C2) The permanent control of our own destiny.
 "The first of these two problems is of immediate urgency; the sec ond somewhat more remote, though of supreme importance. Happily, in solving the first we shall also take an important step toward the solu- ton of the second.
 The United States has made the new Pacific possible by cutting tn canal at Panama. The next step is the development and protection Alaska. With the tariff bill enact ed and a currency bill scheduled for early action, we should, in my opinion, allow no problem to take precedence over the question of rail ways in Alaska. Until the commit tee on territories makes it's report it would be premature to say wheth CT these railways should be built by the government or by private capit- al, but no one can have moments hesitation in saying that they should with the conviction, l feel compelled with the conviction, I feel compelled to say word now, in advance of the regular discussion. I wish to point out the need of these railways from a new point of view, and thus to do what in me lies to secure for the subject the earliest possible consideration.
 "The new point of view concerns the importance of these railways for the defense of Alaska and of cur entire Pacific coast. Everyone re- members what an essantial part the Trans-Siberian railway played in the Russo-Japanese war. Had that line not been in eXitence RussiaI would have lost not only ManchuriaI but Eastern Siberia. Had the lineI been double tracked there would have been no war. Russia's position would have been too strong to be, assailed with any chance of sue cess. You see, a railway may be- come q very effective guaranty of, peace.
 "We have no railways from the United states to Alaska, either double tracked or single-tracked In case of war Alaska would bel lost within a week unless wei held the naval supremacy in the Pacific. Now, I do not for a mom- ent suppose that our navy would not make a better showing than the Russian navy did. If we could keep all our warships together, no Japan csc fleet at present could face them. But could we keep them together?I We have 5000 miles of seaboard to protect. We could hardly leaveI our entire Atlantic and Gulf coasts without naval defense in order to place our nited navy in the Pacific. The Japanese navy, on the contrary, might be free to act as a unit any where, without having to detach al