The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-22
DINNER STORIES.

Business was the beginning and end
of his life. He'd got married, but it
was spare moment between organ
1zing a great bargain sale" and dis
| missing the errand boy.
isn't it lovely, DEAR" she gurgled
rather has sent us five pounds for
| our new baby"
He never looked up from the ac-
counts he was making up.
! "Right-ho!" he murmured abstract
| edly. You wrap him up, and post the
| for the money"
| The wealthy old lady was very i'll
and sent for her lawyer to make her
VIII; i wish to explain to you" she
said weakly, about disposing of my
| property" The lawyer was sympa-
| thetic. There, there. don't worry
about about it," he said soothingly; Just
old lady resigned1y, 81 suppose / might
| as well. You'll get it anyway"
Here is an excerpt from Paul Vests
Just Boy" letters Gust published by
the George H. Doran company which
| reads like clipping from the Little
Johnny" papers by Ambrose Bierce in
the early volumes Of the Arronaut:
L asst my father why ministers move
so mulch and he said he guessed they
was forced to on account of thare
sons 1 wisht my father was a min
MISTER"
Counsel for the defendant in a
criminal case had made an eIoouent
speech. bringing tears to the eyes of
many present in court; but the iurv
composed or hardheaded old country
men on whose ears oratory and senfi-
ment fell like snowflakes on a warm
CHIMNEY, were unmOved. Counsel for
the prosecution, rising to reply, took
their measure at glance "GentIe-
men,, he said, "let it be understood 10
pegln with that L am not boring for
wateri" ~
They We're experts in many things,
out chiefly in the art of Dragging
ana at the moment they were dis
cussing their own wonderful feats as
Vocalsts. a.
Why" said the American bIo,,,i.
rings of smoke from his cigar chs
Ilrst time l sang in public the an
ulence SIMPLY showered me with bou-
az 9uets: Bless you, there were enough
10 start a flower-shop."
Faith, an 7 can beat voutv cried
the freshman. The first tonne sang
was at an opcn-air concert, ana. he
CORA, the audience were that de-
house, they did,
"A house, You must be off Your
head: interrupted the American
Not at ALL" answered Pat. II tell
We that they gave me a house-but II
was a brick at toime;''
1t was early in the history Of the
new household. What have we cot
for breakfast. dear7" asked Mr.. lust
married. His wife looked at him with
troubled eyes. 1T was to have been
bacon" she said. "but poor cooL's
burnt it. Poor cook / should think
so. indeed" exclaimed Mr. lust
married. "Confound herr Have %-o,,
given her notice 2" ''Oh. no; we noi1stS
mt be too cross with her. darling said
his wife. shes so young and inex-
perienced. Won't you be satisfied with
a kiss for breakfast - she coaxed arch
~ All right, dear" replied Mr..
Justmarried. suddenly pacified. Cali
her inI''
At an advertising mans banquet in
Denver, DIR. III. Wood Avery. tbs
author of many advertising mono
graphs, ended an address with tbi.
story. The power of the adj" he
said rs truly miraculous / know n
young actress who mislaid a strine oe
pearls. She inserted a Lost 80
found advertisement and the next dar,
asked her: Well. did YOU get 49,,
pearls back? Yes she answered
and isn't advertising WONDERFUL Tba
string | lost were only scientific b,,t
nose that have been returned To -
are the real thing"