davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
WRITER'S EXPLORE CHICAGO
Joy-Makers, Enroute to C0nven-
ton, Note Peculialities.
Big town; pig town;
Fine town; swine town;
Peace town; grease town;
Real town; squeal town;

Chicago Thus did Dixon Merritt,
of the Nashville Banner, delegate to
the American press humorists' conven-
ton, epitomize Chicago. Mr.. Merritt,
with humorous writer's of other news
papers, is en- route to Peoria, where
the convention will be held in the
home town of George Fitch, Of "Si-
wash" and "Vest Pocket Essay"
fame.
The humorists, an appelation they
themselves admitted, were given an
automobile ride around the boulevard
system and afterward luncheon.
Edgar A. Guest, who works dill
gently on the ninth floor Of the De-
troit Free Press building welding hui
NOR into column called Breakfast
Chat" for that newspaper, declined to
write anything for fear of his con-
tract, but he consented to be quoted.
Chicago" said Mr.. Guest, "is q
big, bursting and beautiful city in
spots, but can't help thinking how it
must wreck $500 income.
Which was admitted to be some
comment by other delegates who had
once lived, or rather, resided, in Mr..
Guests city, known locally as 1.-THE
town across from Windsor"
CIV Warman's comment was more OF
a sigh. He made it after witnessing
Chicago women detrain at various
busy crossings.
ssChicago, Mr.. Warman solilo-
ouized, ssis the only city in the world
where women get off the cars back
ward and get away with it."
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
Dress Issue in CONGRESS.

49,, ".'Snlngton, D. breathing accu-
a., LUIS against the diaphanous gown
Renr r.s companion, the slashed skirt,
the an.; Helm, the Adonis Of
ut4;.al.Suffrage adherents, turned his
in no.. on 10 dress reforms. He said
Their f't = instead of the scriptural by
vonld aults We shall know Them it
dress say by their dress or lack Of
genns we snail know them The evil
modest VI lustful fashion through i'm
the Vs.. uress is playing havoc with
these i ;nS OF this country who follow
public lucent fashions and make our
bywora n,,ouse-ways a scandal and a
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
LIND LEAVES MEXICO CRY
mission Of American Represents
tive Believed Failure

vera Cruz, Mex. ATTENDED by "a
5ecret service men, Mr.. Lind, Presi-
eent wilson's envoy, arrived here
rom the Mexican capital at 1880
9 clock Tuesday evening. He was &C.
Sompanied by Mrs. Lind. It is be-
neveo mere that Mr.. Lind's mission is
ended and that General Trevino's sud-
uen call 20 Mexico City means that he
VIII soon assume the presidency, Cen
erai Huerta taking command in the
held against the rebels. -
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
Corruption.

Men are not corrupted by the exer-
else Of power or debased by the habit
of obedience; but by the exercise of q
power which they believe to be illegit-
innate and by obedience to rule which
they consider to be usurped and OPP
pressive.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
Only Perfect Baby.

The idea Of picking out the perfect
baby by means Of a tape measure Is
all tommyrot. Might as well try to
locate virtue by using q divining rod.
Every baby is perfect. It's mother
will tell you o.-Philadelphia Inquir-
er.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
Kansas Mercury Climbs.

eaced petsaa.-Kansas Thursday expert
and tba ne return of the heat wave,
marks H., mercury moved to higher
Week s ,nan 1t had reached in the last
Ing temnn ne places in the state report
lain was eratures as nigh as Ill. No
tan was ~ theported anywhere. Manhat-
With III 'ne hottest town in the state,
Weather o. IN Topeka the government
Of lOs Juice recorded a maximum
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
Limit Of PessImisr,,.

Clergyman Indignantly You say
you haven't anything to be thankful
for? Why, look at your neighbor
Hayes; he has just lost his wife BY IN
f1uenza." Burke But that don't do
me any good; amt Hayes.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
They Should Worry.

Mrs. Gramercy Whatever will you
do If business ceases to be profitable
in a year or So" "Gramercy Don't
be alarmed, my dear. BY that time
we'll have sold all the stock III the
company to the public. Puck.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05

The silk industry in Italy employs
100000 operators and $4,000 looms.
The value of the altar of roses in
dustry of Turkey is estimated at ST.
100000 annually.
The French people are great chicken
raisers. A return gives the income de-
rived by them from this industry as
$685., 100000.
An expert from the United States
has been engaged by the Brazilian
Government to conduct experiments
by which that country hopes to in
crease it's cotton crop.
Twenty-Five years ago Argentine
had to import it's flour. Today it sells
wheat to the world, the annual harvest
value amounting to more than $780,
100000.
Spring -tongs, terminating in pointed
blades, have been patented by a. Con-
necticut inventor for removing weeds,
roots and all, from the ground.
An apparatus for pumping an ,anes-
thetic into persons lungs and insur-
ing the administration of definite
dose has been invented by Paris doc
tor
A complete steam fire-engine,
mounted on two wheels and light
enough to be handled by two men,
has been invented in England for sub
urban and private use.
A new type Of combined impulse and
reaction turbine is said to give q
steam economy of from 20 to 80 per
cent. greater than the best Of existing
standards.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1913-09-05
NEW GRAINS OF HARDY MERIT

Speltz and emmer are really two
distinct grains, and differ practically
as much as the pear differs from the
apple Emmer is a German name,
and we have no English equivalent.
Speltz is "a plant of similar appear
ance, but quite different. Both emmer
and speltz are grown in Russia, and
it is from Russia that the emmer has
been introduced into the great plains
region, stretching from the Canada
line to the Gulf of Mexico west of the
98th meridian, where the annual rain
fall is only from Is to 20 inches.
Emmer is really species of wheat,
with heads almost always bearded,
very compact, and much flattened on
the two-ridged sides. 1t is a hardy
plant, resists drouth and rust, and is
recommended by Prof. Carleton in
Farm and Home as a valuable grain
in the section above mentioned. 1t
is in fact a grain for the semi-arid
regions, but often compares well with
other crops in the more humid Sec
lions because it stands up well, is
comparatively rust, smut and fungus
proof, and drouth resistant.
1t is probably the least exacting OF
all the grains so far as cultivation is
concerned. 1t should always be
drilled, at about the same rate per
acre as oats and as early as possible,
as it will stand good degree of spring
frost.
The yield is usually from 20 to 40
bushels per acre, although as high as
SO have been obtained. It's average
yield probably does not differ much
from that of oats, and it is preferable
where oats are liable to rust or lodge.
It's feeding value is probably less than
that of either oats or barley.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
BY ADELlNE CARRIcK WELLS

Copyright Newark Publishing Company
ID Norah after Dorothy
, Is S%:
seS s vss ss as 'S% the
D n; s re: ss % t. S" R s 9
them to- Generally they poked their heads in the door made
mo s Moran indeed n %nn9s n aSn @ s%s
head %af ag ugns and She placed them
B s4 sass FL ssss Moran B. s
% sa f sSsx hs Ts
DID y sos ss p ss fa y 4s es sas 1 p s
%ns s Is. % Ss work. sSs s e
5 aS aH.1
BsIsg rs % ss @ in the as T sy paed and pulled A.
T6 s h s5 e as shs e he
Dorothy again
% Ds sa sp as T a
a % nd now put mG nga on @
smear seared
thy m @ as han and Saseh. sGs sa he's f @ f s
and Nellie s come na 3 vt mini ss ss s
.s no sss eye he su M f q hand M attempted dig
mind & want Your n'S G9 u6 out she let %e rub
@ sss Th na @ @ me- a
@ Saints deysr u.s. Mhd sight Dav was
ing now with another bit
a s lip w es a: an s@s 9% SS'f
Dorothy Dav VIZ shattered ss up Sp
s ons minute sG @ What son
y s .R T Ss but frfa DON'T 'g @ n% We" think
ing s ri %ss3 ssss st sa4
"fD a Ikea s S sps make svn my qS
the an q nS ae e ed op Sa h an then st %
the head and very beautiful f lady indeed
n sf pdroh pa and hq p ns R s
h Platter even 9 seen Coming
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

whats a good cure for insomonia,
Hank?" inquired Myrtle, the tele-
phone girl.
You mean insomnia, which is slang
for being snoozeless," corrected Hank,
the hotel clerk. THE best an most
complete cure is-don't worry"
Huh, that's easy enough to say"
said Myrtle with sniff and shrug.
I'm giving you the advic eright
from headquarters" retorted Hank,
the hotel clerk. "Only the other day
a big railroad company sent bulletin
out to it's employees, telling them II
they wanted to get enough sleep they
must cultivate cheerfulness and not
to worry. Now isn't that the all
wool, 18-karat, solid-bone advice to
come from a railroad corporation
Every one of the railways 10000 will
ing workers got one of those health
bulletins, telling them to buckle on q
sunny disposition, in order to snore
soundly and thus be more efficient
when they got on the job.
I'D Just like to hear what the gang
at the roundhouse said when they
read that how-to-sleep advice. Betcha
that when the rip-roar OF their re-
marks died down everything was
going round in circles, even the
roundhouse.
Think of railroad corporation
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

ton. 1t is not difficult TO imagine In
what a helpless position this young
woman would find herself II she
should marry a poor man, or one who
should be unfortunate in his business.
Never having learned the value OF
money what sort of a piece of work
would she make Of stretching
small income over the needs OF
large family?
There are many fathers, however,
who are not foolishly indulgent and
who appreciate the importance or
training their children in money mat
tiers. / recall one father in easy cir
cumstances whose son wanted % learn
the art of printing. The father con-
scented on condition that he should
continue to live at home and pay his
board weekly out of his very small
earnings. The youth thought this
very harsh, for it left him hardly
any money for himself. However.
when he was of age and master OF
his trade, his father said TO him:
Here, my boy, is the money you
paid US for board during your ap-
premiership. I never intended to keeT
| it, but only to save 1t for your use
and l will give you with il as much
more as will enable you to go into
business Tor yourself. his IdlneT
| wisdom was then apparent to tbs
grateful young man, for, while hi:
| COMPANIONS had contracted bac
| habits in spending their wages, ant
were many OF them in poverty, h'
was able to commence his business
| and in a few years he became on
| of the most prosperous publishers Il
| this country.
! Cornelius Vanderbilt said to Chaun
| cey Depew, when he was a young
| man starting in life: ANY fool car
make money. but 1t takes a yer,
/ wise man to keep t."
! The saving of money usually means
! the saving of a man. II means cut
/ ting off indulgences or avoiding
vicious habits. 1t often means healti
| in the place of dissipation. 1t means
a clear instead of cloudy an'
| muddy brain.
| The moment a young man begin
| to save Systematically and appre
ciates the true value of money he be
| comes a larger man. He takes broade
views of life. He begins to have
| better opinion of himself. Trust take
! the place of doubt. His savings ar
the actual demonstration that hi
has not only the ability to earn, bu
also to keep his money. and as has
been said before, il takes greater
wisdom to hold on TO money than Il
J make it.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
The stars incline. but do not compel.
HOROSCOPE.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4. 1913.
Well IN this day begun
with kindly aid from the SUM-
HOROSCOPE.

The sun rules this day with power
and shines favorably on mortals, as
+rologers declare For men who are
in high place fair fortune is decreed
and especially lucky are the subjects
of Leo. who are governed by the great
luminary
Women are under an i'll omen, since
Venus is in place held to be un1or-
tunate, not only for maid and wives,
but threatening for all men who nave
dealings with persons of the opposite
sex.
The time is particularly promising
for men who have large ambitions.
There is "a sign boding success 10 po-
litical aspirants of Independent per
sonality. The seers declare that VIC
tory will come to those who are SUI
iects of Mercury, while defeat aWaieS
those who are under Neptunes gulo-
ance. This means fair luck for can
didates born between August "a and
September b.
1t is foretold that before the new
year there will be an unprecedented
proceeding in administrative clrcies
at Washington, where pubic ON
cial will be severely reDukeo. Tresl
dent Wilson will take radical aclloh,
his stars auguring severe anxieties
through mistaken policies of persons
q. positions of great responsibility.
A foreign astrologer prophesles a
disaster for the city of New York,
more terrible than any experienced
in Chicago, Galveston or San Fran
cisco. This prediction, which is sub
stantially the same as warnings ut
tered by other seers. places the date
some time before 1919.
The unfriendly aspect of Venus is
read as indicating cause for alarm
over extravaganza. 1t Is foretold that
a woman of exalted station in life
will start a movement for practical
economy. This will attract aid from
many reformers and make fame for
the leader of the crusade against lux
vi
q who seek employment or
pro n win find today lucky 1t
is a DC to make the most of busi-
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
HANK. THE HOTEL CLERK
BY GENE MORGAN

telling it's faithful workers not to
worry, when all they've got to worry
about is rent, taxes, mortgages, low
wages and the new pair of stills the
Cost of Living is wearing! The weary
track laborer should not worry be-
cause he has to shovel cinders all day
and then return to his humble shack,
where his wife is nursing SICK bapy,
and his other kids are in need OF
proper nourishment.
mix, He should return home
whistling a light opera and balancing
his shovel on his nose!
IF ever he feels inclined to worry,
he should correct the evil habit at
once. To be sure, hisspay is meagre
and his work too hard, but he can
comfort himself with the fact that he
never has been struck by comet.
Also that he never contracts yellow
fever while clearing away snow
drifts"
"All railroad men don't worry their
lives away, Mistah Man" protested
Myrtle, who knows a few nice boys
in the profession herself.
Small town. station agents never
get time to worry" said Hank, the
hotel clerk. They only have to work
eighteen hours a day, selling tickets,
checking baggage, sorting packages
and informing nervous passengers
that the II 80 train will not arrive
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
On the Spur Of
the Moment
sIGNs or LIE 1.IefEs
BY ROY MoULToN.
Written Exclusively for pvsains seaA

SIGNS or THE TIMES
When a woman can't find any other
place for any little old ornament she
picks up around the house, she puts
it on her hat.
What has become Of the old-fash-
Toned feller who used 70 wear q
horsehair wateh-charm and 60 around
with his mustache dyed and lard in
his hair?
It used to be that woman could
wear almost anything, but now she
can wear almost nothing
When a woman can forgive her
husband for coming home hilarious at
. o'clock in the morning, love j.
more of a habit than an emotion.
So long as Uncle Sam allows auto
mobiles sent into Mexico the destrue-
ton will go on, firearms or no fire.
arms.
Judging by the exhibits at the style
shows. the height of fashion Is q lit
tie low in the neck.
John D. has not taken vacation
this year A man with his income
doesn't need to.
Two million farmers have tele-
phones. So It is a pretty hard life
after all
| Chief Hiawatha has died. but his
/ flnecut goes on forever.
| ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABEEH
! Harry Shattuck was the victim OF q
strange freak of lightning the other
/ morning about Z o'clock. He was
asleep in an iron bed and the light
ming entered window and after
/ looking around q while made for the
bed and began TO circle around
through its framework at a speed
which Mr.. Shattuek estimates at
about ninety miles an hour. Mr.
Shattuck was, of course, thoroughly
| awake at that time. The bed was
red-hot all over. When the lightning
finally departed Mr.. Shattuck got UP
| and found that 1896 which he had
in his trousers pocket had been melt
/ ed into an unrecogniZable mass The
| trousers had hung on one of the bed
posts. Mrs. Shattuck states that she
would like to engage that bolt Of
lightning by the season, as It is the
only thing that ever got her husband
out of bed so early in the morning.
The neighbors look upon the occur
renee as an act of providence.
Uncle Ezra Harkins says his corn
is CROWN so fast he don't know what
to do with 1t. Somebody has stole
his razor.
A scientist says the two-passenger
hammick is dangerous. Yes, indeed,
II Teller rides in one very often he
is liable to git married.
What has become of all the curly
haired men we used TO see chasin'
around our streets.
When a Teller buys a secondhand
! automobile he never gets more than a
quarter of a mile ahead of old Grim
Despair.
J Unearned increment is what a.
Teller acquires when his father sends
; him through college.
: They are looking for a stable gov
. eminent in Mexico. What they have
now is evidently a garage govern
ment, Judging by the noise.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
From Johnny, the Office Boy

cupp of nj he sed
| through
what you see
that's the wayfe along in life
Won want TO crate alons
without seeing nuthing, the
goty you, pa,
lis pa
about fol- a
there little party Ia. Aehus a' 'n0
ssettng in Up,
should noss things ana not go
out seeing
what have nolssed IKE a soou
on the top she o
bookt Of her
buro drawer except nobody ookn
lppnp
the
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04
EVENING STAR ASTROLOGER
Copyrighted. 1913.

ness openings and opportunity. for,
while the sun governs prosperity is
promised.
There is a favorable sign for fish
ing. Sportsmen are assured of sue
cess.
Persons whose birthdate it is have
a fortunate augury for the year. Elk
cessive indulgence in pleasures Will
bring trouble to women. Both mel
and women who are employed should
prosper
Children born on this day will have
an audacity, which often commands
success. Boys are likely to have many
love affairs and to spend money reck-
lessly, while girls may be inclined
toward coquetry With Venus as
ruling planet they should be endowed
with a taste for the arts. Many OF
these subjects of Libra develop into
diplomats.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

until half-past II. When they do
sleep they have to button one ear
over the telegraph key.
"Baggage-smashers don't worry
either. They never have anything on
their minds heavier than a steamer
trunk But wonder what will hap
pen the next time a brakeman finds
Weariest Willie asleep in the draw
ing-room of a cattle car. VIII the
hobo yelp that he is taking the rail-
road company's advice about not wor-
rying?"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

A illionaire, who is self
made man, tells me that not five men
out of a hundred who have made
money manage TO hold on to it. They
lose most or all of it sooner or later.
The failure army today is full of
people who are there because they
never learned the value of money, or
how to handle it.
knew of a splendid family in New
England the mother of which very
nearly ruined her husband and the
home by her extravaganza, due largely
to the fact that she was reared in lux
ury and had never learned how to earn
money or how to spend it. Her hus-
band left ell of the household mat
ters to her, and she ran up enormous
bills. Although he only received a
moderate salary, she bought all sorts
of luxuries for the table and the
home; they lived in the most extrava-
giant manner, until suddenly the hus-
band lost his position. Soon after the
wife was taken i'll and died, and 1t
was found that she had accounts at
the garage, the florists and many of
the large business establishments.
The result was that it took practi-
cally every penny the husband had
to square up accounts and TO redeem
1eWelry, ana even articles VI Clolli-
ing, which the wife had pawned in
order to get money so as not to worry
her husband about money matters.
This woman was absolutely hon
est but her utter ignorance of money
and what it means brought the FAM
! lily 10 the very verge of dire poverty
! because after the husband lost his
| position he was considered too old to
| fill another, and he had the hardest
| sort of work to support his children
and clear up his Indebtedness.
/ Every child should have an allow
ance of some kind, If it is not more
! than FIVE cents a week, so that he
] will early know what money means.
Instead of buying things for your
! children. let them, whenever possible,
make their own purchases out Of their
allowance and under your direction.
Let them feel the sacrifice they must
make in parting with their money;
! that they cannot spend 1t and have
! it too. This should be especially
emphasized in the purchases OF
candy. ice cream or when money is
spent in other ways for their own
pleasure 1t is a great thing for
young people to feel the value OF
money.
1 know of a girl in college who
says she has no idea of the value of
money. When she wants anything
she writes to Papa" for check
and he pays her bills without aues-
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

Representative Wagner was CON-
demning a foreign count whose en-
gagement to a Western heiress had
Just been announced.
This heiress." he said, sis forty
seven years of age. The count is only
twenty-four Do you know how he
refers to herr
mo. how?" a lady asked.
He calls her." said Mr.. Wagner.
scornfully, his finance. Exchange.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

1t happened that I was detained for
an awfternoon in a small American
village, which had little of interest
to recommend it. don't you know.
walked along a street and bethought
TO awsk native chap if this was the
towns leading thoroughfare. He
sWelled proudly and replied:
Yep, stranger, this here is the main
stem. This is the big drag. where
commerce buzzes and nickel movie
blisters the night airi Some day this
here pike is going to make Broadway
look like the alley behind the poor
house. take it from me. All the buzz
barges in America will be rolling past
here in a few years, while the ginks
will be floating to their high Offices
in gas birds, and on the sidewalks
the Paris modistes will be Snapshot
ing the classy toys of the local
squaws.'
MY world
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-04

UPLIFT TALKS
THE MONEY SENSE
Copyright, 1913.
BY ORISON SWEET MARDEN.
Author of Pushing to the Front, Etc.

will
in ones training thrift matters
thorough train
in In % dSN isa Of nnn