davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12
RaIaam's Ass.

Once upon a time correspondent wrote to the editor of religious pa
 per asking whether he believed that Balaam's ass really spoke. The editor replied: '"The Bible says so, and therefore we believe it, and We would dertakes to throw discredit on the Bi
 ble story would, whenever he opened his mouth. speak only half as wisely or half as well as the ass did, we should not have so much nonsense
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12

Mr. Glenfaddle started out about two weeks before Christmas to solve the servant problem.
 'The trouble with women," he said to his wife, Ifs that they don't go at tho thing right This trouble will never be settled until it is settled by diplomacy. and diplomacy is a thing that, am sorry to say, doesn't come natural to women. Servant girls are only human-that's a thing which is too often forgotten. Treat your girls kindly and they will stand by you. That's the rule go by in my busi- ness affairs. What kind of time do you suppose I would have with the men in my office if I tried to manage them as . woman manages the help in her Kitchen? Why, I'd always have o keep breaking in new people.
 Nov let me give you few point ers. Get something nice for the girl on Christnhs-something that you would be glad to have yourself. Most women give their servants few cheap trinkets that serve no other purpose than to show the girls that they are put away down in the social ecale.
 'sInstead of getting her ten-cent comb or a new contrivance to scrape the crumbs of the dining-room table, bay her a nice present this year. Give her something she will be proud to show to her friends. Then, you see, they will get to envying her and com paring their own cheap presents with what she got from us, and whatll be
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12
On the Riuht Road.

If you are looking for that which is best in the men and women with whom you come in contact; if you are seeking also to give them that which Is best in yourself; if you are looking for friendship which shall help you to know yourself as you are and to fulfil yourself as you ought to be; If you are looking for a love which shall not be a fiattering dream and a madness of desire, but true com radeship and mutual inspiration to all nobility of living you are surely on the ascending path.-Henry van Dyke.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12
Neatly Put.

pr. Johnson was once in the com pany of man who affected to main tain Dean Berkley's strange position, that nothing exists but as perceived by some kind" When the gentleman was going away Dr. Johnson said to him. Pray. sir, don't leave us. for we, may perhaps forget to think of md then you will cease to es'
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12
He Thounht Quickly.

ehe (coldly) you've been say ing to people that I am fond of my own yoicew He- Er well, you have yourself admitted that you like iu- sic."
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12

MisappIied Force.
 The force expended by dissatisfied persons on efforts to escape their sur roundings would often pluck the string out of the incongruities of their situ- ation, and track them to whole hives If honey Samuel Johnson
The Brinkley argus., 1913-12-12
Administrators Sale

UCI HULL, lO1O SCA s0t PuOAAS auction to the highest and best bidder the following described personal property to-wit:: 40 bales bagging (cotton) Is bundles cotton ties g horse collars l 6 pair traces | 10 breast chains 1 pair scales cash register 1 mower | 2 corn tedders l 1 seed sower 9 turning blows 26 harrow stocks and planters 1 telephone l2 chairs 2 barrels lamp black 75 blow points 50 pieces repairs 10 neck yokes 10 single.trees ? saw carriers 1 2 pairs harness 2 lamps l 1 pitchfork OUTSIDE OF TOOL HOUSE 1 disc harrow 1 hay rake 1 moving machine 1s12 inch turning blow 1 road grader
 SHOP 1 mower | 1 stove machine gasoline engine 1 corn crusher 1 feed cutter corn stalk cutter | 2 listers 4 blows 1 pair log hunks 3 cases empty bottles corn cutter and binder 1 hay baler
 sToCKADE l dresser 2 beds 1 rocker | 2 chairs 1 2 pairs springs mattress 25 blow points pump, pitcher and valve 1 lot junk l riding turning plowGn barn at Saulsburg 1 lot of goats between 50 head 1 part of gasoline engiI Cotton Plant and in 2 mules being worked |.
 Smith Gown farm) ? horses being worked by eixaiy (town farm) 2 mule colts in charge of Carter pasture ? horse colts in charge of I Garter pasture 1 one horse wagon Gin Hu" shed) l corn binder l hay rake, in lower fiel Said sale will be made credit of three months. purchaser will be requi ecute a note with security. and a lien tained on the prope said note is paid.
 Given under my har ministrator of the es  c. Lynch, deceased 18th. day of Novemb
 Sale to be at Lyncl at Lynchville, Arl hours of 9:3O A. M.
 J.S. V
 Ad
 Estate o
 Or Chang
 ''Maud's husband isI't it?" "yes,i 'areak him
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
New Turkish Cabinet.

Constantlnople.-Tne new Turkish
cabinet is constituted as follows:
Grand vizier and minister of war, Nah
moud Shefket Pasha; president of
council of state, Said Hahn; interior,
Hadji Adj; foreign affairs (tempo-
rary), Mukhetar Bey; marine, Tschur-
uksula Mahmud; justice, Ibrahm Pa
sha; finance, Rifdat Bey; public
works; Batzaria Effendi; pious foun.
dations, Hairi Pasha; agriculture
Djelal Effendi; posts, Oskian Bel
public instruction, Shukri Pasha.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
RHEUMATIC ADVICE
Prominent Doctor's Best Pfescrlp-
tIon Easily Mixed at Home.

From your druggist get one ounce
Of Toris compound lin, original sealed
q Tafs ssruP aess 81
two ingredients home and put them
into a half pint of good whiskey.
spoonful before each meal and at bed
time" This is said to be the quickest
and best remedy known to the medical
ache. Good results come after the first
dose. If your druggist does not have
Torfs compound in stock he will get
1t for you in few hours from his
wholesale house. Don't be Influenced
to take a patent medicine instead of
this. Insist on having the genuine Toris
compound in the original one-ounce, seal
ed. yellow package. Hundreds Of the
worst cases were cured here by this pre-
scription last winter. Published by the
Globe Pharmaceutical laboratories Of
Chicago.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
WHITE PIMPLEs ON HEAD

Ransom, Ill.-"The trouble started
on our baby when he was only about
two weeks old. Started like little
white pimples, looked like an old scab
Of blood and matter. His whole head
was covered for few months. then it
went to his ear, shoulders. and his
whole body. 1t seemed to come out
thick and sticky on his head, while
on the other parts Of his body 1t was
more like water coming out of the
skin. He would scratch until the .erup.
ton would be all covered with blood
and gradually spread. The least little
stir or rub would cause the sores to
bleed, spread and itch. Never had q
full nights sleep, restless all night.
"The sores were horrid to look at.
It lasted until he was about two and a
half years old. Then we saw an &C.
zema advertisement in the paper to
use -, but 1t did no good. Then
we used Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment. We put the Cuticura Oint-
ment on thick at bed time and put
tight hood on so he could not scratch
the sores. Then we washed 1t clean
with Cuticura Soap and warm water
twice day. and he was completely
cured" (Signed) Mrs. E. F. Sulzber.
ger, Dec. 30. 1911.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample OF each
free. with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston"
Adv.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
The Smile.

The girl who smiles too much makes
as great a mistake as she who smiles
too little, for though she may be only
actuated by an honest desire to
please, she lays herself open to the
charge Of insincerity. A emile can
transform a plain face into loyeliness,
but 1t only does this when it is the
outcome of some special emotion. and
not a mere aimless parting of. the lips.
Smiling to ORDER" or on any and
every occasion, is fatal to charm, and
should be carefully avoided.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Gives birth to Five Sons in Day.

Gives birth to Five Sons In Day.
Abbeville, La.-Five male children.
all perfectly formed, were born to Mrs.
Audrey Lassen, wife Of carpenter.
Two of the children were dead at birth,
but the others lived. The babies were
born. at intervals of from five minutes
to more than an hour. The smallest
of the children weighed twenty-five
ounces and the largest tipped the
scales at Slightly over five pounds.
Mrs. Lasscn has three other children,
two of them twins, and born two years
ago. All three of these are boys. She
is twenty-eight years old, and her hus-
band is, about four years her senior.
Mrs. Lassen weighs nearly 200 pounds
while her husband weighs 140.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
TITANIC WIDOWS ASK DAMAGES.
Value Of Husbands Range from $1,000
Up to $2,0oO,o 900 In Suits Filed.

vaIue OF Huspanos mango from $E'VoO
Up to 100000 in Suits Filed.
New York.-Analysis of the numer-
Gus suits which widows have brought
for damages because of the loss OF
their husbands in the Titanic disaster
brought to light the striking differ
ences in the monetary values that
women placed on their husbands. The
suits ranged from $4,000 to $2,000.000.
the record high figure being that sued
for by Mrs. Henry B. Harris, widow
Of the theatrical manager. The ad.
miralty lawyer declares that the diff
ferences in damages sought were due
chiefly-to various earning capacities Of
the husbands, taking into considers
ton also the age. The style in which
the wife had been accustomed to live
vas also q consideration.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
GOOD ROADS PLANS
CONVENTION RESOLVES STATE
FUNDS NEEDED FOR HIGH
WAYS.
Meeting Endorses All Phases of Cam.
paign and Elects officers for
EnsuinQ Year.

Western Newspaper Union News Service.
Denyer-With resolutions which ad-
yocate sweeping reforms in legislation
for the benefit Of the state highways
and the election of officers to serve
during the ensuing year. the Colorado
Good Roads Association closed its an.
nual meeting.
The resolutions adopted embrace
nine principal recommendations tor
road betterment.
A state bureau for the registration Of
motor cars is urged for the conve-
nience of visiting motorists.
The resolutions also urged the state
Legislature to submit to the voters OF
the state an amendment to the consti-
ton fixing an annual levy of not to
exceed one mill upon the assessed
value of all property in the state to
form state roads fund anG to be used
specifically for highway purposes.
The Legislature is also asked to pass
the two bills pending, transferring the
100000 in the internal Improvement
fund and the additional 100000 which
will accrue during the next biennial
period to the state highways commits.
sion for use under itS directions.
Leonard e. Curtis of Colorado
Springs was elected president, J. w.
Dean Of Aspen, w. P. Harlow of Boul-
der, w. j. Anderson of Pueblo, w. F.
Whinnery of Lake City. and Curtis, as
president, compose the new executive
committee. Vice presidents from ev-
cry county in the state, who will serve
as a board of directors, were also
chosen. w. H. Emmons was re-elect-
ed secretary and treasurer.
Colorado Springs will be the next
meeting place.
Following is list Of the vice presi-
dents selected: Adams county, r. G,
Webster; Arapahoe. G. F. Higgins;
Archuleta, Fred Catchpoie; Bent, Fred
Kreybill; Boulder. w. P. Harlow;
Chaffee, V. c. Davenport; Cheyenne,
James jenkins; Clear Creek, w. l..
Shaffer; Conejos. r. NJ. Haney; Crow.
ley, j. H. Cowden; Custer, William
Kettle; Delta, George Stephens; Den
yer, e. E. Sommers; Dolores, c. w.
Roden; Douglas. Z. Fl. Pond; Elbert,
Garfield, Edward McClurg; Gilpin, G
e. Fritz; Grand, F. C. Jones; Gunni
son, w. A. Gillaspey: Hinsdale, w. $.
Whinnery; Jackson. X. ]. McCallom;
Jefferson, X. l.. Downs; kiowa, N. c.
Critics; Kit Carson, J. X. Rouse; Lake,
A. G. Schmidt; La Plata, George c. Lo-
gan; Logan, w. l.. thurman; Moffat, p
w. Finley; Montezuma, P. V. Gates:
Mont:ose, Tony Mcneil; Morgan, Alex.
McSweeney; Otero, w. T. Bernard;
Oupray. E. e. Wheeler; Park, c. P.
Link; Phillips. c. E. Johnson; Pitkin,
J. w. Deane; Prowers, S. G. Porter;
Pueblo, w. J. Anderson; Rio Blanco,
w. S. Montgomery: Routt, ]. E. Mil
ner; Saguache, T.. NJ. Davidson; San
Juan, Louis Wyman; Sedgwick, Finley
Dye; Summit, Chris Kiser; Teller, w.
l.. Turner; Weld, G. A. Hodgson; Yu-
ma, H. C. Hogue.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Katy May Extend Line into Colorado

Holly.-The Missouri, Kansas L
Texas railroad has its eye on this sec
ton of the country for north and
south road from Denver, connecting
with the Moffat road and running
down to Fort Worth and Galveston,
where it already has a terminal, to be
in readiness for the heavy traffic in.
cident to the opening of the Panama
canal.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Citizens Want Books Examined.

Georgetown.-Many citizens believe
that the public examiner should be
called upon to straighten out the
books of the officials of Clear Creek
county in order that the new admins
tration may succeed in keeping within
lawful boundaries.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
STERILIZATION Is Urged.

Salem.-The twenty-seventh Oregon
Legislature convened and organized
with Dan ]. Malarkey, joint member
from ,Clackamas, Columbia and Multi
nomah counties, as president Of the
Senate, and with G. N. Macarthur Of
Multnomah speaker of the House. Both
men are Republicans. In his message
to the Legislature, Governor West
urged the passage of legislation for
the sterilization OF the criminally in.
sane, the imbecilic and degenerates. +,
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
EIks Feed on Haystacks.

Meeker.-Ranchers throughout the
county are beginning to complain of the
onslaughts being made by hungry elk
and deer upon their haystacks. The
farmers are at a loss what to do, as
there is fine of 800 for killing an
elk. An appeal to the state game de-
partment will be made.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Last Pioneer Log House Burned.

Windsor-Fire destroyed the last OF
the pioneer log houses in this vicinity
when the home of Isaac Hines, on the
farm of H. G.. Markham, was burned.
A defective chimney was the cause.
The house was landmark in the
early days.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31

Warm Weather Hatches Mosquitoes.
New Brunswick, N. J.-Female mos
cuitoes. more militant than London
suffragettes, have been brought to life
and activity by the midwinter warm
weather.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Indian CHIEF. 116, pIes.

Superior, wis. - Chief Pussafiss,
claimed to have been 115 years
Chippewa Indian, who has been dhe OF
the interesting characters of Scion
Springs for many years, died at his
home there.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Observes Burns Birth Anniversary.

Trinidad-Masonic lodges of Trini'
dad celebrated the one hundred and
fif.y-fourth anniversary of the birth OF
Robert Burns. Addresses were deliv.
cred by Grand Master G. H. Simonton
and Grant Secretary Charles II. ia
cobson of Denver and Judge A. w. Nc
Hendrie of this city.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Mine Inspector curley Critically III

Leadville. = State Mine Inspector
John R. Curley is lying at the Sisters
hospital here critically i'll from pto-
maine poisoning, followed by an at.
tack of pneumonia. He is nearly seven.
ty years old, and his recovery is doubt.
full. ,s
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Almost Thrown Away.

"The fish l had from yesterday
wasn't fit to eat. I was obliged to
give it to my rvants."-London
Opinion.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Just Because.

"Why was the beauty doctor SO an
cry with Anna?"
Because she told him she was COM
ing to him to get few wrinkles"
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31

She is a smart girl who can trans
form a yawn into smile.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
Mother Of Twsnty.seven at s5.

Cleveland, Ohio. - At thirty-five
years of age Mrs. William G. Clark OF
Cleveland is the proud mother of twen-
ty-seven children. With two sets of
quadrup1ets, three sets Of triplets and
five sets of twins, she probably has
been treated more generously by the
stork than any other woman in the
United states. Her mother had twenty
eight children, all Of whom lived. Her
grandmother had twenty-nine children.
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
GAIN IN MINERAL OUTPUT.
Geological Survey Gives Figures on
1911 and 1912 Production.

Washington.-The United States
Geological Survey gives the following
Eastern Colorado times., 1913-01-31
DENVER & RIO GRANDE-WEsTER
PACIFIC

TING Royal COfgg-Fe8tnef Rfvef
Canon Route"
Taken together form the most beauti-
ful line Of continuous travel Denver
Salt Lake, City. San Francisco.
&. The marvellous scenic attractions Of
the Rockies, the Great Salt Beds of
Utah and the wonders of the Sierras
can be seen from the car windows,
without extra expense for side trips.
SUPERB DINING CAR SERVICE.
For illustrated descriptive matter,
write Frank A. Wadleigh. General
Passenger Agent. Denver & Rio Grande
Railroad. Denver. Colo.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26

It was my pleasure to attend
 a meeting of the Allendale s. l.
 A. on the evening of September
 18th. By the way, this is the only s. I. A. in the rural schools of this county.
 was delightfully."- surprised at the interest manifested by the people of this community in the building up of better school and in their efforts to make the school the social center of the community life.
 On arriving, I found the house crowded. It seemed that every member of the community was present. As l entered the build ing my attention was attracted at once to some most exceller : maps the work of the pupils of that school, ''I want you to ex- hibit those maps at the County Fair" said I, speaking to the teachers. We have some oth- CTS far better than those you see here for that purpose, replied the teachers.
 About this time Mr. Ben AL len. president of the s. l. A., rapped for order and the session of the evening began. There was a song rendered by the school children. It deserves special mention for the excellent manner in which it was ren- dered. Several enthusiastic com- mittee reports were read in re- gard to work that had already been done. Some work was planned for the ensuing week, after which the County Superin-
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26
0n,trntt61rnl Gnlstt1ttt 9apStsSs Sssig Rssss" gss
MONROE COUNTY SCHOOL FAIR

tendent was called upon to intro duce the speaker of the evening. MT. Leo M. Favrot, Assistant Supervisor of Rural Schools. His address was excellent and it was well received.
 Mrs. Throckmorton and Mir. Spear deserve great deal of credit for the splendid school taught during the summer and above all for the active interest they are taking in the affairs of the community. During this term the rank of the school has jumped from 43 points to 86 points. If contemplated inn provements are made, when the winter term opens, Allendale school will be in Class A. No rural in this county has reached Glass A. Zent is the closest competitor of Allendale for the honor of being the first A l rural school in the county.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26

Rice is not as good as it was last year. It was mostly sown early and had matured when the rains came last week so they were detriment rather than advantage in that the harvest will be set back some. Several rice grow CTS had trouble with pumps this season and did not get water enough to make good rice. Quite a number started cutting last week, and within a few days the harvest will be in full blast.
 The dry weather through July and August cut the corn crop short.
 Quite a lot of stock peas were raised by our farmers this sum- mer.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26
Wheatley Items:

A. Boysen is suffering from a severe attack of blood poisoning in one of his hands. He is at- tended by Dr. Bogart of this place.
 J. H. Folkerts has sold his rice crop to Lark Coffey and liar old Best, and we understand he ex- poets to devote his time to selling the Creeping Grip Tractor.
 Oswald Hemme has purchased a new piano.
 Several of the farmers in this vicinity are cutting their rice.
 School commenced Sept 8th, with a good attendance Mir. and Mrs. Fall have been with us for several years. and take much interest not only in our school but in our town generally. We hope that all the parents will CO., operate with them, and that we will have the most interesting term of school ever taught in Wheatley.
 R. Hopkins has purchased a new rice threshing outfit.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26
Hunter News

w. P. Harris is building a barn this week.
 E. Atwood as returned from a several weeks stay in Heber Springs.
 Al Penrose has moved to Heber having bought property there.
 Mrs. Porter, who has been very i'll for some time, is able to be up again,
 The bank opened last week with H. o. Henrose, president; Chas. R. Brinneman, vice-pres; w. A. Farrin, Sec. Tres. and cashier. Hunter has been with out bank for more than two years and has been badly in need of one.
 Preparations are being made to build a new structure in which the new bank will be housed. The old wooden structure will be moved back and the new build- ing erected on its present site.
 The little baby of Charley Baker which was just about 3 months old died Saturday and was buried Sunday. Mrs. Carl V. Caple has re- turned from a visit with rela- tives in Kentucky. Mart Mushrush, our new saw mill man, has just completed his new house and moved into it one day last week.
 The Cotton Belt is putting in a switch to Mart Mushbrush's mill this week.
 J. |. Ashby is moving his house | in the southwestern part of town back near his property in the eartern part of town. The M. E. church has services only twice a month now. and during the other two Sundays has services at the Prairie View school house.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26
ACT QUICKLY
Delay Has Been Danger
 ous in Brinkley

Do the right thing at the right time.
 Act quickly in time of danger.
 In time of kidney danger Doan's Kidney Pills are most ef- fective.
 Plenty of evidence Sof their worth.
 N. H. Walker l66 & Granh Ayes, Stuttgart lf#k., says: T think more hRy If Doan's Kid ney Pills than bf Thy other rem edy ever uB8knd I am very glad that Yu| EdIthem when l did. I had a poF distressing kidney we3knd aAd could get nothing B &leve me until l used Doan's yidtey Pills. They caused the strouble to leave quickly and toned up my entire system. I now feel twenty years younger. I willingly confirm my former endorsement of Doan's Kidney Pills, for the benefit they bought me has been permanent. For some years l have had no need of a kidney medicine. For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co Buffalo, New York, sole agent for the United States.
 Remember the name-Doan s and take no other.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26
DIET AND HEALTH HINTS By DR. T. ]. ALLEN Food Specialist
DIET FOR BAD COMPLEXION.

A reader asks for diet suit- ed to one whose face ls cover ed with blotches, and Whose complexion generally is bad. The diet should be one easily digest ed, requiring as little work as
 possible for the liver and ston,- ach consistent with proper nus triton. All heavy fcoGs, meats, fresh white bread, cake, pastry potatoes, puddings and Fats, should be eliminated. At ieast one meal day, preferably thc morning meal, should be of acid fruits-apples, dried peach es, Washington prunes or grapes. An exclusive grape dies Concord Is best) could be taken with advantage for from ten to thirty days. 1t Is impor- tant to see that the eliminating organs are active. constspa- ton is direct cause of blotches 5 and bad complexion. The okln should ts kept active, ana sys- tematic exercise should be taken, SC as to maintain v'n- orous circulation. Vapor baths may be beneficial. # the read CT will send her sa1ress, some suggestions will be given as to the pccu!iarities of her case.
The Brinkley argus., 1913-09-26

Ornaments last longer than ecys thing else that man makes. There are brooches and necklaces in museuma more than 40 centuries old. Monur ments, perhaps, stand second, sod houses third. The life of furniture h shorter still. There Is very little fur, niture in England which dates bs. yond the year 1500. Pictures last loax CT than furniture, and there are pa;at, ings still in fair condition which have weathered six centuries of life