Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-02-20
At the End Of the Rainbow.
ALWAYS LATE,
n~- WUut N~~--
ALWAYS LATE.
by Walt Mason.

THE government should establish "a
large college said the wild man of the
woods, ''for the education of young men
who contemplate marriage If young
men only knew the true character of
women there would be few weddings ir
this country. and elderly gentlemen would
not consider it necessary to spend theii
declining years in the tall timber. far
from the madding crowds ignoble strife
The average man, if he hopes to male
a success of his career, knows how i'm
portant it is to be on time. If he doesn't
know it. or, having the knowledge, neg
lects to use it. he won't last long. If
he shows up late a few times at the fac
tory or store where he works he is
called into the captains Office and tn,
news is gently broken to him that he il
fired. l venture to say that no man in
these hustling times can hope for much
success II he doesn't value promptness
and punctuality. Consequently. men who
amount &c anything learn the valuable
lesson when young, and when they are
old they don't depart from it.
But you can't impress upon a woman
the necessity of being on time She's jus.
consttutionally unable to realize tba,
twenty minutes after isn't the same
thing as o'clock. My wife was a oueen
among women. the noblest and hest nj
her sex, but she had the universal femi
nine weakness. She couldn't he on tine
to save herself from the measles.
Even on her wedding day she lcomed
UP late The imposing ceremony was
set for high noon in the parlor of he
parents paiat al residence The guest
had assembled. the rarson was there in
his regimentals. and I was mo min
around in the conventional suit of back
sweating ice-cold lemonade and fee ne
like a chimpanzee in a sideshow Every
now and then a female delegate went
upstairs to see what was keeping the
bride. The feast is set. the guests are
met. may'st hear the merry din as the
poet said. The bride would send hacl-
word that she'd be ready in a m'nuta.
She was having trouble with her harness
1t was o'clock before she came down
to the sacrifice and you can imagine how
| felt after two hours of waiting j was
so limp / could scarcely ascend the steps
to the scaffold.
What would society say of a man who
was two hours late on his wedding DAY?
He would be considered a cheap skate
and the bride probably would turn him
down when he did make his appoaranca
and she would be Endorsed by press and
pulpit for doing it. When first married
was poor young man, with my ca
reer to be carved. and my wife was
obliged to do he- own housework. with
out vassals and serfs by her side She
made no kick at that She was willing
and anxious to do every thing possible IN
make cur home a success | had 70 he AZ
work at O'Clock in the morning. $, II
was necessary to have breakfast at 70
and 1t was pathetic the way that ADM;
rable woman tried to keep the schedule
but she couldn't.
ut didn't seem to make anv differ
ence what time she got up i'm the morn
ing. she couldn't get that breakfast he
fore o'clock SO / loomed up late at
the store every morning. and one dav the
proprietor took me dom into the cola r
and explained that he would have to GA Of
me into outer darkness unless 7 REFORM
ed. So after that | got up early and ate
a can of cold beans and went to my work
without regular breakfast and it near
ly broke the poor woman's heart
lone day l told her that on the fol-
lowing Sunday. heath and weather per
buggy and take her for a drive This
is Tuesday, 1 said. so you'll have plenty
of time to get ready. Let everything e.sa
slide and devote ali your time to prena :
ration. I'll be in front of the house with
the steed and chariot promptly at ;.
o'clock. and l don't want to wait a min
ute. as livery rigs come high. Sha
promised she wouldn't keep me waiting
and was overioyed at the thought of
such an excursion.
ION Sunday, at the appointed hour I
was seated in the buggy in front of the
house. At a quarter past = my wife
put her head out of the window and said
she'd he ready in two shakes. / really
don't know how long I sat there. / saw
the leaves on the trees wither and blow
away. l felt my Whiskers growing gray.