The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-03
PARADISE FLATS.
The Janitor Has More Gossip for the
Grocer.

"Vhell, Mister Jan1tOr, L nope you
vhas better said the German grocer
as the janitor of Paradise flats came
sauntering il the other evening to
take a seat on a sugar barrel near the
stove.
$50 you heard about my fainting
spell the other day, did your"
TT was very dramatic, MI. Hammer
dinger After breakfast 1 had got seat
ed in my arm chair, a cigar in my
mouth and the morning paper in my
hand when I was waited on by COM
mittee of ladies'"
From der Salvation Aramy?"
"Oh, no. They represented the ten
ants in the house. Mrs Duggan had
been stirring the families up to kick
for the last month, and the kick was
due. They came down to bulldoze me
about the washing Of the windows. In
orr flats the janitor is expected to do
the work, but I had let the tenants
take it out in expecting. Where is the
dignity of a janitor who washes WIN
dows?"
HE wipes all der dignity off NIT
rag" replied the grocer.
: s"rrue for you. Well, the committee
came down and opened on me. They
were going to the landlord; they were
going to move; they were going to sue
for damages, and all that. Ihey We're
all talking at once and 1 saw that
something must be done. I simply
tainted away and was carried to my
bed"
by go1ly!''
.They were ready to chew me up
minute before I tainted, but a min
ute after they were blaming them
selves for having been the cause of
nv death. The way they wept was
very affecting. When 1 came to they
said If would try and live on they
would wash their own windows as long
as they remained in the flats. How
is that for high, Mr.. Hammerdinger? %
"By gol1y, but you vhas a great man
"a great mani I don't believe Shen-
eral Grant could faint AWAY like dot.
So you don't wash some windows?
How about garbage?"
"Oh, 1 have a lame back, you know.
The tenants will carry out their own
garbage and ashes.''
''Und don't you fix some clothes
lines on der roof"
Gracious, no! I am a janitor who
gets dizzy even going up stairs, and
they all know it. Yes. 1 am dizzy
janitor. and I have to be very care
full"
.sUnd SO you don't do nuttings?"
well, I'm around, you know, in
case anyone asks for advice. I can
always be found in my armchair. Mr..
you have got to have
dignity here in your grocery, haven't
you? You have got to have dignity
to make your clerk respect you?"
dot vhas so.'
"And to make customers believe
that green watermelons are ripe?'
yes"
wei, Janitor has got to have dig
nifty or his tenants will run right over
him. He must hold them at arms
length. He must let them understand |
that it is a great privilege to address |
him in any language. Do you think |
there's one of my tenants dares to
u, n fall hot -
glass has been broken and glazier
is wanted at once? No, siri They let |
three or four days go by, and then I /
let three or four days go by. The
lanitor who hustles is lost"
''Vhas dere some doings in der flats, /
IN ?'' asked the grocer, after selling a /
pint of kerosene to an old woman.
yes, something doing. 1 rented /
looms on the third floor to a bridal /
couple last month. They were joyous
Ind loving. Went cooling around like
-wo doves. Couldn't stir foot with
)ut each other.
Not any to speak of. The husband
,ame home from work four evenings
lgo and found his dovey flirting
With a red-headed man across the
treet. and he BACKED her eyes, broke
Up the furniture and beat it She's
here amidst the remains waiting for
lin, but don't think he will ever
;ome back"
by golly. but if my wife winks at
ome red-headed man she vhas dead
n two minutes."
"And last week." continued the jani-
or, "I rented rooms to an old man
md his daughter. He shed tears when
lie told me that his wife was dead. /
almost took a dollar a month off the
ent on account of his tears. They
,ot in new furniture, and got settled,
nd then something happened"
did a big gas bill shump in on
emp
Something worse than that. The
iris real father jumped in on 'em,
by one of her big broth