The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-10-10
A Professional
Episode
By DONALD cHAMBERLlN

While the Spanish-American war
was being fought a very pretty girl
came into my consulting room-1 am
an oculist-with a very sud face and
surprised me by asking me to take
out one of her eyes. My first suppose
ton was that it had been injured and
she dreaded that it would affect the
sight Of the other one. but upon study
ing her face for a time l saw indica-
lions of an unbalanced mind. So
simply asked her for her reasons.
II am engaged to a soldier boy now
in Cuba" she said. land he has writ
ten me that a Spanish bullet o out
one Of his eyes. He says that he will
never permit me to sacrifice myself
for him. If have the same disag-
urement he can't talk So"
It seemed likely that the girl had
brooded over her lovers misfortune
and the danger of losing him till her
mind had become affected. But l did
not believe that her trouble was per-
manent. tried to persuade her to do
something to divert her mind from her
trouble, but finally. realizing the fudl-
ity Of reasoning with one suffering
from mental depression and fearing
that she might do herself bodily In
jury, l said to her:
"very well. If by this day week
you still feel as you do come here at
8 o'clock in the afternoon and l will
perform the operation"
I was SO busy during the next week
that never. once thought Of the girl
till on the afternoon l had appointed
she came in promptly at the hour
named. 1t seemed to me that the
shortest. the easiest and the safest
way to get rid Of her would be to pre-
tend to do what she asked. So l told
her that If / took out her eye she
would have to wear a bandage over 1t
till the wound healed, otherwise she
would lose the sight of her other eye
and become totally blind. I would not
operate without her promise not to re-
move the bandage herself or permit
n one else except me to do so. She
gave the required promise.
I made the same preparations as IT
I were about to perform a real opera
ton, putting on my rubber apron
making myself hook like a butcher
| then called in an assistant, to whom ]
had explained what l proposed to do,
and, placing the girl in an operating
chair, directed my assistant to apply
an anaesthetic. As soon as the pa
tient had lost consciousness l placed a
pad owe the eye in question and held
it in position by means Of bandages.
To complete the deception l showed
her an eye In spirits. She wished to
pay me for the operation. but I told
her, that being unprofessional, I would
not take pay. Moreover. l warned her
to tell no one what I had done. for If
she did I would probably be eliminat-
ed from my profession. She promised
to confide only in me and went away.
The girl was to ONE to e me at
my request once a week since I wish
ed to keep track of her and. II she
recovered her mental balance. confess
! to her that I had not taken out her
eye. She came once, and I saw that
her condition was very much i'm
proved. Then for three weeks / saw
nothing Of her; One morning a young
man with a green patch over n eye
came into my Office. and l saw by his
lowering brow that he had come to
give me a piece Of his mind, II nothing
more.
What did you mean," he roared,
''by taking q good eye out of q wo-
mans head?"
1 suspected. Of course. that he was
the returned soldier boy lover Of the
girl I had pretended to operate on, but
contented myself for the present by
asking him what he meant. whereupon
he told me that, having returned from
the war In Cuba. his betrothed had
told him that she had persuaded me
to make things equal between them
by having one eye removed. ''And
now" he said. 1--WE come home with
out losing my. eye after ali, though It
will never be az good as the other one.
The doctors told me they would have
to take It out to save the other one.
but they didn't; they saved t. I'm
going to begin suit against yoa for
malpractice at once"
What did the surgeons tell you they
would have to take out your eye for
when they didn't do II. that you might
not be. disappointed? How do you
know but that the girl who loves you
has come ont better than she ex-
pected?"
.sWhat do you mean?"
.Is her mind affected?' I asked.
Certainly not"
was pleased, to hear this and
straightway told the young man that
her mind had. been affected and that I
had possibly saved her from running
her eye by pretending to take It ont.
He seized my hand joyfully and. not
contented with this. threw both bis
arms about my neck.
where Is my patient?" I asked.
I'm the anteroom.r
Bring her in here. and I will give
her a surprise. Don't disabuse her.
leave It to me"