davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Willie Golfers Jest.

1t is beginning to look as though the
funniest lines in the theater are saved
out of the plays and used between the
acts. A few nights ago De Wolf Hop
per got his best laugh by a remark
made during an entire 'acte speech
And last night this growing fashion
was again illustrated at the Criterion
when William Collier. thanking the
audience, said:
George Cohan is out of danger"
The audience applauded vigorously
whereupon Mr.. Collier added:
And has been for a week"
Then the audience laughed.-New
York Times.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
''CASCARETS' FOR
LIVER; BOWELS
No sick headache, biIiousness,
bad taste or constipation
by morning.
Get a 1O-cent box.

Are you keeping your bowels, liver,
and stomach clean, pure and fresh
with Cascarets, or merely forcing a
oassageway every few days with
salts. Cathartic Pills, Castor Oil OF
Purgative Waters?
Stop having a bowel wash-day. Let
cascarets thoroughly cleanse and reg
Mate the stomach, remove the sour
and fermenting food and foul gases,
take the excess bile from the liver
and carry out of the system all the
constipated waste matter and poisons
in the bowels.
A Cascaret tonight will make you
feel great by morning. They work
while you sleep-never grippe, sicken
mr. cause any inconvenience, and cost
only 10 cents box from your store.
Millions Of men and women take a
Cascaret now and then and never
have Headache, Biliousness, Coated
Tongue, Indigestion, Sour Stomach or
Constipation. Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
ua.s.s for nsen PIowlna.

Deep blowing is essential to good
farming to increase fertility and mois-
ture for better crops. Heavy draft
horses are the first essential for deep
blowing and big loads. Deep and
shallow blowing have had a long con.
troyersy and the deep blowing has won
the victory for better farming. Farm
ers who have good draft horse teams
pillow too deep. and the farmers with
light scrub teams must skim along
and put up with light crops until they
can get the heavy draft teams that
can pull a big pillow down to the beam
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Case of Mrs. Tully.

Chicago, Ill.-"I take pleasure in
writing to thank you for what Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
done for me. l suffered with such aw-
full periodic pains, and had a displace-
ment, and received no benefit from the
doctors. / was advised to take Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
am now as well as ever. Mrs. VIII
LIAM FULLY, 2O52 Ogden Avenue,
Chicago, Ill.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE COmpoundwill help yOu,write
to Lydia e. PinkhamM Medicine Co.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for ad-
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
WHY She Wore Glasses.

Mistress-Why, Bridget, are your
eyes weak? l notice that you wear
colored glasses every time you &c
out of the house.
Bridget-It's not me eyes. mum
But whin the sun shines loike II
does outdoor today, I'd tan as black
as a naygur av didn't moderate the
loight little by wearin' thin colored
spectacles.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
This Reats WInsted. Conn.

Some Danyille fishermen captured
this week on a trot line a large cat
fish that was wearing a pair OF
glasses. Upon investigation it was
found that the spectacles we're those
recently lost by Mr.. Edward McCon-
nell when he was thrown into the
water by a boat capsizing. The
glasses were turned over to Mr.. Nc
Connell.-Danville Advocate.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Pruning RIlahted Trees.

Blight is very common this year In
the apple orchards. The tips Of the
twigs appear to be burned and dry
I'D. These twigs should be cut on six
to ten inches below the diseased part
at once, writes lie Roy Cady, horticul-
turist Minneapolis university farm.
Dip the pruning tools in corrosive sub
Innate, one part to one thousand of
water, after each twig is cut. or wipe
the tool with cloth wet with the
solution
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Fiohtinc Stock Lice.

When treating cattle or other domes-
tic animals for lice, bear in mind that
1t is just as necessary to clean up and
disinfect the stables as to treat the
affected animals. For lice on cattle.
dust insect powder over the backs
and rumps; or brush the necks and
backs daily, using little kerosene on
a stiff brush-not enough kerosene to
wet the hair OF injure the skin.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Arnumsnt. for EARLY Flowing.

II there is no ether reason for
early fall blowing than that Of getting
1t out of the way so that other farm
work can be attended to, would be
SUFFICIENT to justify it. Added to this
is the further fact that when the soil
is turned over early all kinds Of weeds
are disposed of and kept from matur-
ing seed
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
SaIt for Cows.

When cows are sailed only once
week, they eat too much at time and
Il causes looseness Of the bowels.
They will eat little salt nearly every
day il 1t is kept where they can get at
it, especially when the grass is fresh
and abundant
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Dane. q. Hntel Burns

Nero's fiddling while Rome burned
has a modern parallel in the action of
a crowd that kept "turkey-trotting
and "tangoing" by the light Of a
burning hotel at Horseshoe Lake, Ill,
until the dancing pavilion also
caught fire, relates the st. Louis Re
public.
Not until the heat and smoke be
came uncomfortable did the strains OF
the "trot" and the tango" cease.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Not FIT For Ladies

Public sentiment should be against it,
and we believe it is; there can be no rea-
son why ladies' should have to suffer with
headaches and neuralgia, especially when
Hunts Lightning Oil gives such prompt
relief. II is simply question of getting
Hunts Lightning Oil in 25c and SOC bot
tles.-Ady.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
For Colds and Laorippe

take DIR. R. A. ARMISTEAD'S AGUE
TONIC freely in large doses and you
can break the worst cold imaginable.
Splendid for children as it is harmless
and results are astonishing. A dose
every two hours during the day and a
double dose before retiring at night
SOC and 81 90 bottles.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
DANGEROUS.

What is the charger" asked the
judge, as the venerable person with
the side whiskers was brought for
ward.
Insanity, your honor. We found
him on the Rialto singing I want to
be an angel"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
overfeedlna on AppIes.

Don't overdo the job Of feeding Gull
or drop apples to the hogs by making
them a regular or entire ration, al
such fruit will put an edge" on theiI
teeth. making their mouths so sore
that they will refuse to eat corn.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Severe Rheumatism

Grove Hill. Ala: Hunts Lightning
Oil cured my wife of a severe case Of
Rheumatism and my friend of tooth
ache. / surely believe it is good for
all you claim for it.-A. R. Stringer.
rs and SOC bottles. All dealers.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

ana i got notnlng
that helped me un-
til / began taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's
eye ia bic Com
pound / was irreg-
ular and had cramps
so bad that ! had to
go to bed. Now l
have better health
than / have had for
years and ! cannot
speak too highly of
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
THINK OF THE MILLIONS

that have been relieved in the past Is
years by Wright's Indian Vegetable
Pills and decide whether they are not
worth a trial. They regulate the
bowels. stimulate the liver and purify
the blood. Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Cheer Up About II.

"Yes, I'm married. / married per-
feet geniusl"
ooh, well, l wouldn't feel badly about
It; l suppose some one has to marry
them"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Remove Old Canes.

Blackberries and raspberries pro
duce their fruit on canes which grew
the year before. AS soon as the fruit
has been harvested, remove the old
canes and leave about six new canes
In each hill.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Whenever YOU NEED
A GENERAL TONIC TAKE GROVES
The Old Standard Groves Taseess chill Tonic is Equally
Valuable as General Tonic because Acts the Liver,
Drives Out Malaria, Enriches the Blood and Builds up
the Whole System For Grown People and Children.

chill
printed showing
and Tatee Form has equal for Malaria chs and Fever
debility of appetite Gives life and Nursing
Mothers and Pale scy Children Removes Biousnes without purn
liver and
Strengthened
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
snrinklina the Garden.

"And the one with the light hair and
pink frock, who is she?"
"Oh, that is Daisy; she's the flower
of our family garden"
And do you ever turn the hose on
herr"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
One They Overlook.

She despises liar"
But she loves her husband"
Il know it, but what's that"
Il have heard him tell her she was
beautiful"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
chiIIs and Malaria,

no matter of how long standing. will
yield quickly to DR.. R. A. ARMS
TEADS FAMOUS AGUE TONIC. In
sfst upon this remedy as results are
marvellous. SOC and $1.00 bottles.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Water for Hogs.

The hog suffers tremendously from
heat and IL he is not provided with
plenty of clean water will quickly run
down in condition.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
No. SIX-SIXTY-SlX

This is a prescription prepared es-
pecially for Malaria or chills and
Fever. Five or six doses will break
any case, and IL taken then as a tonic
the fever will not return. 25c.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Ia Suited Her

First English Militant-Do you be
iieve in rocking the cradle?
Second English Militant = Sure;
where are the rocks?-Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
The Object.

They say Mrs. links husband fol
lows her about like a dog"
Yes; to growl at her."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Red Cross Ball Blue gives double value
for your money, goes twice as far az any
other. Ask your grocer. Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
tion, alays pain cures wind collie sc bottle-E
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
"JUST AS GOOD AS
BONDS PILLS"

Don't you believe it! No such a Liver
remedy is made. But do not abuse the
dealer who tells you so! He does not
intend to injure you or us; he only
likes to make a larger profit than
Bonds Pills afford him.
Just laugh at him and insist on
BONDS LIVER PILLS, the gentle,
safe and effective liver stimulant, that
are honestly made from the best
known ingredients and without regard
to cost or trouble.
They are expressly intended to cure
Biliousness, Headaches, Constipation,
Indigestion, Malaria and all the all
ments due to an inactive liver or bow
els.
ASK YOUR NEIGHBOR!
Take Just one pill at bedtime and
wake up well, without any unpleasant
feeling. They are guaranteed to give
satisfaction.
Sold by leading druggists. Csc. Send
to us for free sample.
BONDS PHARMACY CO., LITTLE
ROCK, ARK.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

For the treatment of colds, sore throat,
etc. Deans Mentholated Cough Drops give
sure relief-5c at all good Druggists.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
infallIbIe Recipe.

What to do to obtain white hands:
Nothing.-Woman's Home Compan
ion.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Not NsarWIt.

What % you think Of that joke
about the sad Of the worldr
cit IL too far-fetched."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
WOMAN A
GREAT SUFFERER
Tells How She Was Restored
To Health by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetap
bic Compound.

GRANVILLE, IlL-"I was a great suf-
ferer of female complaints for a year
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Alas, that the flower of the family
may 20 to seed!
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

When a conceited youth gets mar
ried he feels sorry for a lot Of other
girls.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Fools and children tell the truth at
the wrong time.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

your medicine. Mrs. JESSIE SCHAAR.
Alb Main St, GRANVILLE, Ill.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

expert do they become that when they
finish their sentences they are almost
invariably booked for some good-p paying
job, even before they emerge from the
prison gates.
But while everything is new and mod
ern in the Philippines. in Korea. which is
the other island to which Mr.. Holmes
will turn his attention this season, Is
slumberinG. In that country, the in
habitants of which are still dreaming of
the past. they are yet to emerge from
the age of pixies. helmets. ard arnor.
and they revel in the legends Of the
Fast.
From one Of Mr.. Holmes experiences
while in Korea, the armor of Korean
gentleman of the sixteenth century must
indeed have been wonderful. He was a
guest at the home OF a prominent Of
fetal at Seoul.
After dinner my host led the way to
a large room. which was quite filled
with ancient armor of Korea and
China" he said. Pixies, swords, and
cutlasses of every description were
there, many pieces OF which were CEN
turies old. Picking up one extremely
odd sword. the handle of which was
quite long enough for one to grasp with
both fands, he explained that It was
the weapon of a Korean gentleman of
the sixteenth century.
1T was, indeed. a truly wonderful
sword. for. as my host went on to ex-
plain. the gentlemen Of this period were
extremely proud of their swords, and
their ability to WELD them. Why said
my host. almost any Korean can tell
you the legend OF the two gentlemen
who. while walking, were discussing the
merits of their swords, when one Of
them. who had become quite heated
during the conversation. raised his
sword high above his head. and swung
it with such rapidity. accuracy and
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Personal Mention.

Mrs. II. NJ Brightwell announces the
marriage of her daughter, Miss Mary
Thomas, to John {. Copeland, Of Kan
sas City, on Wednesday, November II.
Mr.. and Mrs. Copeland will reside in
Kansas City.
-
The marriag" of Miss pcrsis Louise
Cove. daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Charles
II. Cove, to Martin William McBuSh
will take place this evening at the home
of the brides parents, at 1861 Newton
street, Brookltnd, Il. e. y reception
from until 10 o'clock will follow.
The Rev. Dr. Leucht and Miss IL.
Leucht. of Newark. n. j.. are the
guests of Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Franc.
Of Calvert street. They were among
the Out-of-tOwn guests who attended
the Kaufman Stern wedding yesterday.
+
Miss Ncttic Mannheim, who was the
guest of Mrs. ID. II. Sanger. left yes
t"rday for her home in Cincinnati.
Mrs. A. NJ. Bacr. of the Netherlands,
entertained at a luncheon, followed by
a bridge and tea, at tn" Washington
Suburban Club, in honor of her daugh-
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

ter, Mrs. Heury Strauss, of Richmond.
Among the guests were Mrs. Morris
Wolf, of Tampa, Fla: Mrs. Richard
Bondwitt, of Paris: Mrs. r. Behrend,
Mrs. E. Mayer, Mrs. A. Mayer, Mrs l.
w. Nordlinger, Mrs |. Behrend. Miss
Gladys Mayer, Miss Hortense Brylaw-
ski, Miss Edna Dreyfuss Miss Alma
Bacr and Miss Bella Schiffman
=
Mrs. Joel Hillman and daughter. Miss
Emily Hillman. are spending several
days in Richmond. the guests of friends
=
Mrs. A. NJ. Baer, of the Netherlands,
has as her guest her daughter, Mrs
Henry Strauss, of Richmond, Va.
=
Miss F'reda Well who has been spend
ing the last six weeks as the guest of
her sister, Mrs. Nathan Sondheimer, of
Twelfth street, is spending several
weeks in Baltimore. Philadelphia. and
New York before returning to her home
in Jacksonville, Fla.
Mr.. and Mrs. ID. J. Kaufman, of Rhode
Island avenue, are spending several
days in Boston, and attended the we'd
ding of their nephew, Irving Spear, Of
Baltimore, and Miss Eveline Hynemark,
which took place Wednesday.
r
Miss Elise Castle. who has been i'll at
her home for the last two weeks with
typhoid fever, has been removed to the
Garfield Hospital
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Julia Murdock Says Burton Holmes
Considers Philippines Wonderful
Travel Lecturer Relates Story
of Sharp Sword in the Her.
nit Kingdom.

force that he cut completely in two n
eooife who happened tc be passing
That he proved his skill, and the
temper Of his steel, will be seen. for.
as the story has IT, the blow was so
dexterously struck. and the sword 80
keen that the coolie, entirely unaware
Of what had happened. continued his
walk down the street. and II was not
until he attempted to turn a corner
that he discovered he was cut, for. In
turning the corner. he fell apart
One Would Believe
Sword Capable.
Mr.. Holmes says, from appearances,
one would almost believe the sword ca
pable Of performing this feat.
Korea Is land filled to overfiowing
with quaint legends Of this sort" he
says. and there are many customs
handed down from father to son far
countless generations, which are fully
as quaint For instance, the very
clothes that they wear are the results
OF traditions. and the hats ON their
heads are the lineal descendants Of the
Simon-pure pot hat.
In the days when Korea WAS a
fighting nation. the gentlemen of the
upper classes were perpetually duelins,
and this was carried on to such a fatal
extent that the male population became
decidedly diminished in number. An this
threatened danger 70 the state. In case
OF an attack from without, the Emperor
issued q decree that the mobiles must
wear hats made Of porcelain, and made
1t An offense against the state IL any
gentleman should be seen without a
nat, on the assumption that no gentle
man could carry on a successful duel
without getting his hat broken, and 30.
by inference. it would be taken for
granted that he had been fighting, II
his hat was not in evidence The pres
ent light hat worn by Korean gentle
men still retains the shape Of its great
great-srandfather. the porcelain hat.
Another peculiarly OF dress IS that
there is mans overcoat belonging to
every gentleman but this coat Is never
worn by the man, but always by the
wife. who wears it. not as a man would
wear II. but with the collar on top
Of her head and the sleeves tied around
her neck This originated from the
peculiar custom that obtained in the
old days, when all dutiful wives fol-
lowed their husbands closely. so that
in case of sudden outbreak or call to
man the city walls, the Korean gentle
man might always have his coat ready
at hand.
Mr.. Holmes is about to open
his regular lecture season In Washing
ton. He has arranged his hours 50
that school teachers and those en-
pioyed in the Government departments
may take advantage OF the travelosues
that are to be given on Sunday nights
and Monday afternoons, commencing
next Sunday JULIA MURDOCH
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

tivcs and friends of the bride and
bridegroom Miss Catherine Cowsill
and Otto Herman attended the couple.
The wedding was followed by large
reception, after which the couple left
for an extended Northern trip.
Mr.. and Mrs. Whitlow will be at home
to their friends after December 10, at
ELL Eighteenth street.
The Viscount of SaiiGnaC tenllon, OF
Paris. is at the New Willard.
=
Commander II. A. Wiley, L. =. n,
and Mrs Wiley will entertain at a
dance at the Playhouse on December q.
=
Mr. and Mrs w. ). Hit entertained
AT a dance Saturday evening at their
country place al Middleburg, Va. when
large number of the guests were
from Washington.
Mrs William Haywood will entertain
at a dance at her residence in l street
on December %.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
For The Times Children
Just Before It's Bedtime
WHY THE MOON GROWS DARK.

n n ANY. oh, ever so many years
M ago. before there was any
VI thing grown-up; when all the
horses were colts and all the
| dogs puppies, and all the cats little kit
tens, the stars were made and painted
all bright and shiny with light. just as
You see them now on a clear night.
They Were all very large, however,
and so, in order not to crowd one an
other, they said:
Let us all get off a long, long dis
| tance into the sky, where we will have
plenty of room, each one for himself.
apd not be Jostling one another or
fussing and moving against each other
to make room like children in a trun-
die bed" So they all moved out and
out and out, farther and farther into
the sky, until they looked no bigger
than candles, just as you see them to-
day. And there they had plenty of room
to move about in without any one of
them jostling his neighbor. but still
they were close enough to talk to each
| ether. Talk? Certainly stars can talk;
but they don't talk with mouth; they
do it with twinkles and winks. and any
night you may see them gossiping away
to each other up there about where the
| comets are, and what's going on along
the Milky Way, which Is the main
street of the sky.
Now. among the stars there was one
| called the Moon. She was not a very
big star at all: indeed, she was one Of
the very smallest But, like all very
small things, she was very vain and con-
! her new coat of bright and shining
light, and, when she found that, IL she
moved off far into the sky, she would
appear very small to the people on the
earth, she said to herself:
Il am so very beautiful that il
would be a shame to move so far away
that / would appear like a little candle
in the sky. / am going to stay down
close to the earth, where people can
admire me every single night and con-
slider ME the most beautiful of all stars
What is the sense of my having all this
shining light If not to have people ad-
mire me. Move way out yonder? In
deed, I'll not"
And with that, she went whirling
about in the sky. turning round and
round like vain girl. so that people
could see and admire her every night of
the world.
When the other stars saw what the
Moon was doing they We're very much
disgusted with her.
That vain little piece" they twinkled
one to another She ought to have the
conceit taken out of her!''
Then Arcturus. a smart old star, got
behind a cloud. where he wouldn't be
disturbed, and thought a long time-for
il was a rainy spell and he could stay