davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
NORTH WALDEN

Rev. A. N. Woodruff of Barre Wis
tied his daughter, Mrs. e. w Or
ton the past ten days. Last Sunday
morning he occupied the Baptist
pulpit at East Hardwick. He was
pastor of the Baptist church many
years ago.
Mrs. Wells of Cabot is a guest at
The Belfry.
School opens April %. Miss Els
worth is to teach another term
The sugar makers report a fair
year. Buckets are now being gath
cred.
Ora Stevens is to work for K. w.
Orion this year.
Mrs. Abbie Nicholson is visiting
friends at Hardwick Center.
J. N. Nicholson has completed
his work at The Belfry sugar house.
Henry Haselton is in poor health.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
WHEELOCK

The United Workers of the Bap-
fist society will hold a social at
Mechanics Hall Friday afternoon,
April 25. Supper will be served at
the usual hour.
Miss Thelma Mathewson who is
attending school at Lyndonville Wis
sited her uncle and aunt, Mr.. and
Mrs. H. ]. Mathewson last Saturday.
Henry Hoffman remains about
the same, does not sit up any. Mrs.
Ellen Lafoe is helping care for him.
Riverside Grange will meet at
Mechanics Hall next Saturday eve
ming.
Arthur Butterfield visited his
aunt, Miss Emma Butterfield at the
Caledonia Springs house.
The village school began last
Monday with a gentleman teacher,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

Heed the Cough that Hangs On
The seeds of consumption may be
in Turk, and a cough that hangs on
weakens your system, and lowers
your vital resistance to disease.
Take Foley's Honey and Tar Com
pound. 1t stops the cough, heals
the inflamed membranes, and
strengthens the lungs. Z. d. Roun-
tree, Stillmore, Ca, says LA
Grippe left me with a deep seated
hacking and painful cough from
which I could get no relief until
took Foley's Honey and Tar Com
pound. 1t completely cured me-"
Refuse substitutes. G.. G. Bingham.
Adv.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
EAST HARDWICK

Miss Mae Wilson has been Wis
iting at George Wilson'S
Mrs. Clinton Stevens has return
ed from Barre.
Mrs. Abbie Weeks and son, Hub
bard spent Friday in st. Johnsbury.
Mrs. Charles Slapp has returned
to her home in Hardwick.
Lawrence and Lewis Shattuck
spent Saturday and Sunday at
George Lawrence's.
1t is expected that the village
school will commence next Monday.
Mrs. B. c. Jennings was in st.
Johnsbury Friday.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

Rheumatism as a result of kidney
trouble, stiff and aching joints,
backache, lumbago and sore kid
neys, all yield quickly to the healing
and curative qualities of Foley Kid
ney Pills. They regulate urinary ir-
Irregularities, and restore normal ac-
tion. John Velbert, Foster, Calf.
says: II suffered many years with
kidney trouble and could never get
relief until 1 tried Foley Kidney
Pills which effected complete
cure" Contain no habit forming
drugs. G. G. Bingham. Adv.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
SOUTH WHEELOCK

Fred Blake was in Orleans last
week.
Mrs. Birch who has been caring
for Mrs. w. w. Bean has returned
to her home in st. Johnsbury.
Mrs. A. E. Weed and son, George,
spent Sunday with her brother, B.
L. Gerry, of Lyndonville.
Miss Pearl Wilmot of Lyndon
vile spent Saturday and Sunday with
Miss Marion Mooney.
Mrs. May Mooney began her
school in the ChandIerville district
Monday.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
KIRBY

A. H. Barnett who has been Sc
riously i'll for the last week is gain
ing slowly.
Donald Blaisdell and Robert Nick
erson are on the sick list.
Schools in town began Monday
morning with the following teach
ers: Mrs. Lois Moulton at the
North school; Miss Marshall at
Brookside; Miss Trefren at Sugar
Hill; Miss Ranney at the South
school and Miss Lunnie on the
Mountain.
Mrs. Frank Leach's parents, Mr..
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

and Mrs. Bennett from Sutton spent
Sunday with them.
Mrs. Flora Baird is working for
Mrs. Frank Leach.
Mrs. Drew who is i'll at the home
of her daughter, Mrs. John Lang,
has not been as well the past week.
Mrs. G.. S. Williams froTa st.
Johnsbury is visiting her daughter,
Mrs. w. p. Russell.
Mr.. and Mrs. Burt Dugar from
St. Johnsbury spent Sunday at w. p.
Russell's.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
Carl Batchelder of Middlesex.

Older residents will remember
Roswell L. Cofran, formerly of this
town but now of Topeka, Kansas.
He has had a political career which
is interesting to his old friends here
and in other Vermont towns. In
1885 he was elected mayor of To-
peka, again in 1891 and again in
1899. He has repeatedly been asked
to be candidate since then but not
until this spring would be consent
Once more he was a winner and in
accepting the Office he says The
wants to do one more good job for
Topeka
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

Time, l hour, 3 . minutes. Om-
pire, Pape.
Saturday the base ball team goes
to Barton where they play Barton
Academy.
Sunday evening there was an
Academy service at the Methodist
church. An excellent sermon was
given by the Rev. Peter Black, and
the combined glee clubs furnished
the music. The church was we'll fill
ed, the students occupying the first
few rows of seats. Mr.. Black i'm
pressed upon the students the great
need of an education and he also
spoke of the use of an education
to one in after life.
Dr. Benedict announced Monday
morning that beginning on that
evening the study hours would
commence at 100 instead of seven.
The third annual outdoor inter
class meet will be held on the Fair
grounds Saturday afternoon. The
points obtained in this meet added
to those won in the indoor meet will
determine the holder of the cup
for the following year.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
ACADEMY NOTES
An Easy Base Ball Victory Over
Montpelier Seminary


Montpelier Seminary
In a decidedly one-sided five in
ming game the base ball team de-
feated the Montpelier Seminary
team by the score of 1872. Our
boys seemed to find Greenwood in
the first inning and they kept track
OF him for the rest of the game.
In the first half of the sixth inning,
Hill. the first man at bat hit out
a home run, Gilfillan knocked out
a three base hit and Gray drove
him in with a single. During the
game, besides Hills home runs Gil
fillan got two three baggers ana II
r. Fisk got one; Conner ana Gray
both had two-base nuts 70 theh
credit. In five innings roman
struck out seven men and only al
lowed three hits.
The summary.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

This is to certify that all drug
gists are authorized to refund your
money if Foley's Honey and Tar
Compound fails to cure your cough
or cold. John Bernet, Tell, Wis,
states: 81 have used Foley's Honey
and Tar Compound as a family med
icine for five years and it has always
given the best of satisfaction and
produced good results. 1t Will al
ways cure a cough or cold. For
children it is indispensable on
account Of it's pleasant taste and it's
freedom from opiates." Refuse sub
stitutes. G. G. Bingham. Adv.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

w. e. Smith was confined to the
house last week by tonsilitis.
Miss Helene Hack of Brandon
was a visitor at r. III. Vance's over
Sunday.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
Maine Central
Railroad.

Through the White Mountains
To Lancaster, Colebrook, North Con
way, Boston, Portland, Lewiston, Ban
gor, Bar Harbor and st. John.
LEAVING ST. JOHNsBURY.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23

of Kyron Morrill, the past week.
Mrs. Frank Fisher, Mrs. H. A.
Smith and D. M. Smith were recent
visitors in st. Johnsbury.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1913-04-23
LEAVING LANCASTER

Train arrives at ST. Johnsbury from Boa
ton, Portland, Lewiston, Augusta, North
Conway and White Mountain resorts 2.15
p. m,
Stops on signal or on notice to Conduc
tor.
H. %. WALDRON
General Passenger Agent.
NORRIS MCDONALD.
Vice President O. General Manages
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1913-05-23

Last Friday night the school at Eu-
ropa closed BY giving series OF exer-
cises consisting Of recitations and dia-
logues. All who attended say Il was
a splendid success in every way. There
was large crowd and it was impossible
to seat everybody and many went away
unable 10 get in the house.
This school has made great progress
in the last two years under the manage.
ment OF Miss Bertha Barnes. She has
had ten years Of experience in teaching
and much credit is due her for the way
she has handled our school; and too
much cannot be said in honor OF Mise
Cassie Rice, Of Senath, assistant teacher.
for the way she has handled the smaller
pupils. Miss Rice is q teacher with
much patience and endurance. The
two teachers are credit and honor to
any school, and the board Of directors
are proud to announce that they have
their services for the next
school. -DunkIin (Mo.) Democrat.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1913-05-23
FUTURE OF UNION CITY.

We are justly proud OF our city. q
think that its present prosperity shal
cease, and its past history be forgottel
sends a shudder over our hearts. Blu
we hope greater prosperity awaits heI
in the future, and that the luster OF hel
glory will grow with the years. This
hope finds its ground in our past his
tory.
"A little more than half century
has past since first her streets we're laic
out Our city is but young, but great
has been her advance. We have now
5000 people. Our merchants are pros
porous and enterprising. Our window
displays are beautiful. Our merchants
are high toned and honorable. There
is spirit OF enterprise which augers
only good for the future. We can
measure our tomorrow only by the adj
vance Of our yesterdays. We can judge
our future by our resources. We are in
the midst Of garden. Our climate
and soil are among the best in the Mis-
sissippi Valley. In ten years farm
values have nearly doubled. While this
farm land continues productive Union
City will grow. /"
Rev. Stuart continued with perora-
ton Of possibilities beautiful indeed, and,
as orator Of the occasion, it is to be re-
gretted that hisyoice could not be heard
through all that vast throng. He con-
cluded with some things that would help
us towards our ideals, viz: That We
pull Tor Union City against the world;
that we are optimistic Of the future;
that each citizen be an apostle Of prog
ress
At the conclusion Of the address Mr..
Dahnke, OF the Business Mems Club,
presented the Mayor in behalf Of the
city the new White Way in an interest
ing resume Of the york Of the Business
Mems Club, calling attention to the fact
that Union City is enjoying many
other advantages as we'll as the White
Way as resulto the work 81 the club,
and that with the cooperation o. the
citizens this club could be tenfold more
useful in promoting our various public
interests.
Mayor Coble responded in a similar
manner, complimentary the cIub aud
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1913-05-23
What Beautiful EIairI

How often do we hear that excIama-
ton about certain woman's or mans
hair.
A prominent scientist and hair spe-
ciaIist emphaticaIly states, and has
proven, that any man or woman can
have Iuxoriant lustrous hair, by using
a famous prescription called PARIS
IAN Sage.
PARIslAN Sage i now made snd
sold in America. n. M. Oliver, ot the
Red Cross Drug Store, is the agent in
Union City and the readers Of The
Commercial can buy from him for only
SO cents a large bottle.
Mr.. Oliver knows that PARISIAN
Sage win beautify the hair, cure dand-
ruff and stop falling hair. and for that
reason he sells it under guarantees 10
cure or money back. Price 80 cents.
Giroux Mfg CO., Buffalo, n. ", Amer
ican Makers. aIVt
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1913-05-23

the work it had done and congratulate
ing our citizens upon the favorable aus
pices OF the occasion.
II was glorious evening in the midst
Of the throng Of happy visitors, beauti-
ful women. inspiring music OF the fine
concert band, fireworks display and
good humor everywhere. It was indeed
a notable occasion, truly celebration,
Of one Of the greatest events in Union
City, the Inauguration Of the Great
White Way.
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1913-05-23

some lives to lead us along the Great
White Way.
God save the queenl"
Then Chief Turner introduced Rev.
StuAt, who opened with the following
address.
The Washington herald., 1913-11-09
Copyright, 191s.)

walking trip through Newark, N. J.
Weren't they in the drawer
= 81 haven't been rummaging through
your jewel case, sirp retorted the
Lawyer, hotly.
"Oh, well, don't get mad about IT. >
said the Idiot. IF you want to rum
mage there go ahead and rummage. |
haven't anything to conceal and If it's
going to make you unhappy to be de-
MED the freedom of my bureau, l give
you my permission now to ransack
every drawer in my room- But to
come back to the Sheriff. want TO
take him with me to the next assembly
ball to show him how utterly without
foundation are the criticisms of che
prudes in respect to modern dancing. /
must admit that a week ago / was
rather inclined to agree with the
prudes, because I'd got my notions of
how the modern dance was danced
from a study of the terpsichorean art
on the roof gardens and at the cabaret
shows, but now-now that ! have seen
the real thing my motto has become :
1t for me and me for itP"
'I am not at all surprised" said the
Bibliomaniac. 'Idiocy after all in its
last expression is not so much of a
tangle as a tango of the intellect, and !
have thought for many years that the
essential peculiarities of your mind
were due not so much to an absence
of gray matter as to general disloca-
ton of the cells of thought
Il guess that's it'd have had to
pay the doctor $I7 for an opinion of
that sort, and l am very much obliged
to you for the tribute it involves to my
cerebellian habits My mind, instead
of pirouetting around .eternally on one
small spot about as big as a Io-cent
piece, has tangoed along just little in
advance of the procession, exercising
itself so violently at times that its loco
motion has doubtless seemed to TN
The Washington herald., 1913-11-09

any or all circumstances, and / want
that definitely understood right here
and now. An occasional Dick Turpin
of the drawingroom may turn up at
some smart function, but you can make
up your mind that in lninety-nine cases
out of hundred he's an exotic who
doesn't really belong, and while his
face may be a conspicuous adornment
of the Rogues' gallery of twenty
cities, his real name has never been
allowed to tricitle through the filter of
exclusiveness that makes the social
register a scroll of honor
"Oh, / only asked the question be-
cause I wondered why you wanted the
Sheriff." said Mr.. Brief, somewhat
abashed. Il know well enough that
your oyster-shell studs are safe at the
assembly ball and that even your
safety razor would rest undisturbed in
your pocket at dinner to Jack John
son, and 1 guess on general principles
that if your watch ever disappeared it
would not be because some one of your
Smart friends was envious of all the
jeweled .splendor you could sport for
a dollar, but because it ran so fast you
couldn't keep up with it"
For these kind words much
thanks" said the idiot Il was not
aware of how completely you had
made an inventory OF my poor personal
possessions, sir, and regret that in
running through the contents of my
bureau drawer, as you seem to have
done at some time unknown to me,
you appear to have overlooked my
zs-cent turquoise collar button, my alii-
gator tooth cuff buttons, and the i'm
ported Russian enamel watch fob
which l brought home with me some
years ago as souvenir of delightful
The Washington herald., 1913-11-09
Ole GENIAL, IDIOT e JOIN n45EiaHA


bored to death, for about an hour,
and then the small orchestra struck
up a rag, and the young began to
tango.
The effect upon papa was electri-
cal His aching patent feathers began
to tap the floor, keeping time with the
music, and his eye took on twinkle
that his suffering family hadn't seen
in it for fifteen listless years. A half
hour later. when the turkey trot be-
gan, he was taking nervous little
slides up and down the floor all by
his lonesome, and grinring like a
chessy cat as he clicked his heels to-
gether after the fashion of German
brigadier general saluting the kaiser,
and l give you my word that before
breakfast was ready that puddy old BIT
of ossihed humanity was loping around
the ballroom, pushing his partner
backward over the slippery floor as
actively as small boy on roller skates
on an inclined plane.
"If he'd had his way the party
would have continued until supper was
served three nights later, but his wife
had briige party on for eleven the
next morning, so they had to stop be-
fore ten. Wei. the following after
noon he bought a.taiking machine and
fitted it up with every ragtine record
he could find in town. The morris
chair was sent to the attic and the
parlor rugs rolled up and showed into
corner so that he and his family
could have their after-dinner tango in
place of their former modest deni-
tasse. More than that he left busi-
ness early every afternoon and took
lessons from a dancing master in a
nearby skating rink, a nice, gentle
manly retired pugilist who was making
$40 an hour teaching the new steps
and whose motto was Never Let Your
Right Foot Know What Your Left Foot
Is Doing He learned the hook foot,
the hesitation, katchuka,,. the jig-saw
hop around, the kneecap Irritation
glide, the human dog trot, the Chinese
fppcty-hop, and all the rest of them,
and these he practised nightly with his
wife and daughters on his parlor floor,
and when he had worn them to a
frazzle he'd seize a big plush arm
chair on rollers and push that around
the room in a perfect frenzy of gothic
pirouetting-and what was the re-
suit"
Heart failure!' guessed the Biblio-
maniac.
"Matteawanr' said Mr.. Brief.
Not on your associated neckties I"
said the Idiot. "The result was that
his wife was kept working overtime
taking in the surplus back breadths of
his vests and other sartorial posses
sions, and one morning while he was
taking his bath they heard a tremen-
dous racket in the bathroom. It
sounded like a good hand-to-hand
scrap between a football cheer and a
paean of joy, mixed with the gurgle
of water.
Eurekap he cried.
"'What is the matter, James? Are
you having a ftS quavered his wife,
tapping nervously on the bathroom
door.
"1've found it again, I've found it
The Washington herald., 1913-11-09

kIVkTHOS the Sheriff of this
" county, anyhow" asked
the Idiot, pausing long
enough in the act of making triple
decker maple-sugar sandwich of his
buckwheat cakes and addressing MIR.
Brief. I'D like to take him with me
to the next assembly ball"
Whats the matter; somebody pick
your pocket at the last one?' asked
the Lawyer.
That is a gratuitous fling, sir, which
l resent with all the ardor OF a pas
sionate young debutant," said the idiot.
Whatever else you may find in high
society, my dear sir, there are never
any pickpockets hanging around at
their functions. OF course you will
say that the reason for this is that
there isn't any spare room in the
gowns of the ladies to be picked, and
that all the valuables the men have
along with them are screwed in their
shirt fronts, except their watches,
which they now wear strapped to their
wrists, but that sort of criticism of the
smart set is nothing but the cheap
claptrap of the demagogic agitator. In
spite of all these stories We have had
of late years about gentlemen burglars
and Chesterfeldian sneak thieves and
larcenous week-enders who support
themselves in affiuence between Sum
days on the loot they carry away in
their suitcases Mondays, the standards
of honor among the truly refined is
high. l don't know of a single social
light in this town that l wouldn't trust
with my pocketbook, my shirt studs or
my silver-backed safety razor under
The Washington herald., 1913-11-09

again, ImogeneP he shouted joyously.
Found whatY asked the lady.
"'My Waist line,' he sried-and 10, it
was so. After many long, weary years
Of sequestration under rolls Of fat
it had returned unto him. His figure.
as well as his youth, came back. His
impending srterio-sclerosis was trans
formed in the twinkiing of an eye to
a redundancy of elasticity that sent
him bounding on his way like a rub
Der ball suffering from an acute at
tack of St. Vitus and seven insurance
companies that had refused to take
any risk whatsoever on his life began
sending him calendars every Christ
mas and stationing agents all along his :
line of march to pester him with spe-
cial propositions based upon hun
dred-to-one chance of his living to be
a hundred and seven in the shade.
tell you, gentlemen, for people who
can't dance these new steps are a
veritable boon, and as for the
ladies"
"Ah, now you are coming to it."
said the Bibliomaniac. "You think it
is an edifying spectacle to see a
woman being showed backward over
a ballroom aeor by a big, fat"
Il sure do" calculated the Idiot.
"if only for the educational value of
it ALL Perhaps it isn't as polite as
the old way of back-stepping yourself,
but / assure you, Mr.. Bib, that any
thing that teaches a woman to follow
her natural inclination to back up
scientifically should be welcomed with
ali the fervor with which we greet
some new educational scheme for the
betterment of our children. Ninety per
cent of the accidents to women on our
trolley cars today are due to the fact
that they viii get off the cars back
ward. Its part of their nature to
do it, and there's no power on earth
can stop 'em. Therefore, the next
best thing is to teach them how to re-
treat with due regard to safety. This
the tango and the hesitation backstep,
in which she learns how to glide back
ward at a speed limit of ten miles an
hour without hitting the wall, are
doing. A woman who can travel back
ward for thirty miles in single even
ing without colliding with anything
can be trusted to walk sideways or
backward anywhere without fear of
the consequences After = winters
practice in the rearward push there's
no earthly reason why she shouldn't
cross crowded highway backward if
she wants to without any assistance
from a traffic policeman or danger to
passing automobiles; and when 1t
comes to shopping-well, instead of
the dangerous frontal attack on the
crowd, involving the use of finger
nails and hatpins, the backward shove
so essential to successful dancing and
modern football viii work wonders
for her in getting her to the bargain
counter
"Oh, well,' said the Bibliomaniac,
wearily, Il hope you'll find the sheriff,
and take him to your dance. The
chances are he'll pull it"
Maybe" said the Idiot, "but Pm
not sure, Mr.. Bib. I've known sew
eraI sheriffs that had pretty clean
minds, old man.