New-York tribune., 1913-07-23
AS | WAS SAYING

Polished gentleman that he is, your Uncle oanuc'
feels iolv uneasy about the Huertas TO call OF hoI
to call? II is touchy situation. Despite ther
Iii origin tho Hucrta family are received
other ncichbors up and down the street UP the"
hats and even drop in for chat and smoke on
the Huerta piazza. They keep nudglng your O"C'e
samuel They can't why a swell OF ms eStsp-
Ishcd social position should be so scary about meet
ing the newcomers. ...
Bothersome this. Snobbishness implies insecurity
and bad breeding yet how is your Uncle to retu'e
the charge without tramping some pretty dlstn-
guished toes? II comes hard for polished sentle
man TO say right out that he is constrained oE
motives Of dolicacy and thinks the ,Huertas adher
cnts have been lot too pushing
That's his point, though. lie realizes the oad form
Of rushing in and recognizing the Huerta govern
ment before Mexico does.
.IU bet some Sufragette did that" cried the tour
ist as the leaning tower of Pisa came in Ne"' ana
the symptoms tend more and more 10 indorse MS
exclamation Tipping, tipping-yet the authorities
say energetic steps arc being taken TO torcs'dl
crash Gracious Energetic steps! Tread lightly
II ever an emergency called for pussy-footed coy
ness this is it,
Her name is America and his initials arc l. ."
SO we think it a suitable Union, and trust that many
others will now be secretly married with the usual
rcsounding publicity.
The orgy Of undressing has seriously unnerved
the philosophers. and several have been hftng up
their voices in The London Times" Onc-the sport
lest We think-attrbutcs the rebellion against Dry
goods 10 the demise Of chvalry. Shouldcred out OF
his Job, smoked out OF his home. burnt out OF MS
church. and in danger of being showed under at the
polls Mere Engllshman sits among the emoers OF
his boathouse and curses womanknd. So what do
the ladies do? Appeal 10 his better nature .!
orgying around in slit gauze.
1t is an old game -Phrynes.-but We do not DIS
cover that it gets much grip on our better nature
Times have changed, perhaps, or maybe We aren't
up to IT,
Here We tread dangerous ground, riskng taunts
Of Puritanism on the one hand and OF unappfecia-
tlvcncss on the other. Let be frank then We
speak as an old habitue Of the Latin Quarter aehers
when We say TO the orgyette:
Madam. you doubtless lovely. and quite
wasted i'm clothes. When We set up studio We
shall value your services When you prance the
stage in Bacchic cakewalks and half ounce Of
drapcry We shall be thcre-scated in H. II is true
though with a clear conscience But when YOU trot
the streets IN this rig have the honor 10 report
that We hnd YOU a blamed disgusting nuisance and
not unto cdihcation."
They tell us that Priyy Councillor Diels has come
out pretty sayagely against freak dissertations
American style" Holding forth az Hamburgs new
university the other morning. he ridiculed the Amer
lean university where received the doctors
degree in exchange for a thesis on How to Cook a
Becfstcak"
Steady. Herr Diels' Considering the modern hus-
band and his outlook why withhold the safeguards
Of vocational training?
Portraiture. COWS tails, pipe orsans-rather
mixed grill yet observe how they all lead up to the
same cnnoblng theme-namey, dogs
Here in The Ladies' Home Journal comes Mrs
wilkins Freeman calling Sargents portrait of Vert
hcimcr her favorite picture. Dreadful bresk-at
least at first glance Sargent loathed Wertheimer
and skinned his very soul In that portrait, and just
FOR the joke Of 1t, ideazed his dog. This gives the
sly humorist her chance THAT contrast Of ntelli-
gences,' she cries, that progress"-"thout saying
which way
And now arrives the story that a cattle company
out West wants 81 200 damages for the loss Of
cows tail and if YOU possess that rarest Of gifts,
well balanced mind YOU are already quoting the
German beggar in the poem who might have sold
his and enjoyed several square meals, but set
ncacuable value upon the animal not because of
his beauty, because Of his sound judgment or
of his high moral perfection. These, though
priceless cheap compared 10:
DE vag Of dot leedle tog's dali"
Finally the pipe organ. There, in a newspaper
photograph. sits the organst. playing srandly while
beside him stands Bruce his faithful collie. Not
howl from Bruce, not zip. not a wall. Wonderful
Under like circumstances dog would split
the zenith with his lamentations, though meanwhile
wagginG his tail. This has often puzzled us, We
cannot decide which end Of our dog TO believe.
In 5000 years a noted savant assures us. all
mankind will be bald But we that many have
determined not TO wait II appears, however. that
these hasty souls have already begun repent as
their outshines their jubIlant expecta-
tions and you viii and then meet the possessor
of perfectly radiant bald head who is debating
whether TO seed it anew sod it
Sometimes seeding works like charm. You run
10 the doctor, show him the place, let him have his
way, and presto, up comes tender. downy crop
which. If carefully defended against sparrows, soon
gets TO he indistinguishable from the rest of the
lawn.
But in most instances soddng will yield more tri-
umphant results. Great things accomplished by
the Paris treatment which puts on the sod
spear at time Try it, though not tin winter. In
summer the process will he found less comfortable