The San Francisco call., 1913-09-11
Mothers, Study Your
Children'S Faults
BY DOROTHY DIX

MS possessions, listing, apprais-
ing. classifying, advancing and depre-
ciating their worth and valuing them
by the market standards of the day.
He calls this taking stock. When he
is through and has balanced his ledg-
ers he knows precisely where he
5tands-what he has to hope and
what to fear, where he may fight and
whore he must hedge.
I have often thought that there
would be less failure In the world
and fewer of US would come to spirit
uaI Bankruptcy If we would follow
the same plan and occasionally sTt
down and take stock of ourselves
mentally. morally and physically. II
Is human and comfortable to think
we possess all graces and virtues and
charms. but 1t isn't true any more
than it would be for the crossroads
country store merchant to imagine
himself a Wanamaker.
Why shouldn't an ugly woman, for
instance, face the music and calmly
take an inventory of the beauty that
she lacks?
wOMAN's MAGIC VEIL.
Nobody will deny that the woman
who is born beautiful draws the prize
package in the lottery of life, but she
doesn't get everything. There is tact
and charm of manner and grace, and
the worna n v-fa bos 49,. 49,
veil that hides a homely face and
makes 1t seem beautiful to those who
come in contact with her. More
over. while beauty must come by ma
ture, these qualities may be culti-
waited.
1t seems a pity, too, doesn't ii.
tnat people don't oftener take stock
OF their children and see just what
they are and what might be made out
of them?
DON'T LIST CHILDREN WRONG
We should think a merchant crazy
il he had a store full Of calico and
homespun. and pots. and kettles, and
pans, and in taking. stock he listed
them as point lace and diamonds and
pictures. Yet that is exactly what we
are doing with our children. We are
calling commonplace and ordihary
qualities by fine names. we won't
see them as they are and make the
best of them on that basis. We ARE so
determined on raising up geniuses. in
stead OF good business men and citf-
zens, that now and then we. convert
them into hoodlums and idiots.
Why shouldn't mother look her
own children over Just as she does
her neighbors' and size UP their
strength and weakness? She should
at least then be able to work out the
problem of raising them with some
sort of knowledge as a foundation and
guide, instead of going at it purely as
guesswork. She won't do it, however.
1t takes courage to look things in
the face that she does not possess
She won't admit that this child is
feeble minded or that one is dull. and
so she deprives them OF the marvellous
help that modern education can give
along these lines.
SHE SHUTS HER EYES
She shuts her eyes to the fact that
Johnnie is bowlegged and Tommy is
knockkneed, and she dooms them to
go through life a butt for the ridicule
of their acquaintance, when the de-
feet could be easily remedied while
they are children. She takes no pains
to help the ugly girl correct her awk-
wardness and learn the things that
would make up for her lack of beauty.
Even her efforts to help her children
are half the time atrocsous mistakes.
because she has never taken stock
and doesn't know what she has on
hand to work with.
Perhaps life hasn't given her all she
wanted. Most Of the rest of us are in
the same fix. Very likely she hasn't
got all the happiness she expected out
of her marriage. Not many dreams
come true. What she needs TO do is
to count up the things she has got
and see how she can do better busi-
ness and get more happiness and good
out of the things she has.
NOT A BANKRUPT
She has a good home, plenty to eat
and wear. respectable position in So
ciety, perhaps little children, certain
" liberty to enjoy herself in many
ways and a settled freedom from the
cares and anxieties that beset many
that many goods on her shelves has
any right to declare herself a bank
rupt in happiness.
If we took stock of ourselves oftener
wouldn't we blame ourselves more for
many OF the failures of life, and other
people less? Our husbands no longer
show US the attentions that they did
when they were our sweethearts, and
we cry out that marriage is a failure
Do we take as much pains to please.
the husband as we did the lover?
Our children are rude and Ill man
nered, and when they grow up they
turn out badly. Whose fault but the
mothers who raised them? We have
no friends. Do we ever go out of
our way to make friends or to show
love and Kindness to any human
being? We who are working women
complain we are i'll paid. Are we
doing good work that Is worth good
money? Let's take stock of what we
are giving others before we condemn
them too severely.