davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Knew All His Value.

A farmer in great need Of extra
hands at haying time finally asked 81
Warren, who was accounted the town
fool, if he could help him out.
"WhatIl We pay?" asked ST.
I'm pay what you're worth" an
swered the farmer.
81 scratched his head minute,
then announced decisively:
"Ill be darned if I'll work for that|
-Everybody's Magazine.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Hard Sauce.

A good hard sauce for any pudding
is made with half a cupful of butter.
beaten to a cream and thickened with
a cupfui of powdered sugar. Whip
an egg white, light and stiff, season
1t with a grain or two of salt, and
good deal of nutmeg and fold 1t light
Iy into the butter and sugar.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Simple Enough.

Blexton Sake entered the room and
critically examined his surroundings.
Then suddenly his eye lighted on the
clew for which he sought.
Aha" he exclaimed. ut was from
q hole somewhere in this room that
che mouse emerged"
His companion opened his eyes
wide in wonderment; then
Your power of scent" he remark
ed, rs positively marvellous, Blex-
tom"
Power of scent be bothered" re-
piled the great detective. Cant you
see the heelmarks of a womans shoe
on this chair-eh?"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Remedy for Lumpx salt.

There is nothing better than rice
for keeping salt from packing in the
shakers and refusing to come out. Heat
a teaspoonful of the rice and put it
into the shaker 1t will absorb the
moisture, and the salt will come out
dry as the sands of the desert, and the
rice will keep it moving when shaken
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Perfect Defense.

The defendant. who was held on
the charge of keeping dog without
license, repeatedly tried to inter
rupt the evidence, but was hushed
each time by the court. Finally the
clerk turned to him:
do you wish the court to under
stand that you refuse to renew your
dog license?"
Eyes, but"
1--WE want no butts. You must re-
new your license or be fined You
know it expired on January L.
Yes, but so did the dog. -Harpers
Weekly.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
His Comment.

"They say that women keep the
wheels of commerce going
Maybe so. Here's womans pro-
gramme when she buys anything;
She opens a handbag, takes out a
purse and takes out coin, shuts the
purse and opens the handbag, shuts
the handbag and adjusts her veil.
think business would slump IL man
had to do all that every time he made
a scent purchase.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
To whi+en Clothes.

White clothes that have become yei-
low may be whitened in the following
simple manner: After washing them
In the usual way, lay them to soak
over night In clear water into which
a teaspoonful of cream of tartar to
quart of water has been put. When
ironed they are as white as snow.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
His LoaIe.

mo, sir" the little man with the
slightly foreign accent was saying,
we don't get no s'loons in our town.
like We ought to hat We got to ship
If in. Don't make no difference to me.
gets all wishes, anyway"
'Well," asked the other man, II
you get all you want. my friend. what
are you kicking about?'
s'Vell-er-ven l gets all | wants
YOU know, I wants some more'
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Hiohlv Adaptable.

Teacher-A pronoun, you Know Is
a word that stands for a noun; or II
may stand for any number OF nouns
Can you think of one?
Little Chauncey (son of the village
CONGRATULATIONS stands for more
things than any one word ! know OF
ma am.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Potato Scum.

Heat one pint or more Of milk. Put
through vegetable squeezer any pota-
to left from dinner. Stir into milk
until of proper thickness. Bring to
a boil and season with pepper. salt
and onion juice. Nice for supper OF
a cool evening.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
49, Musle at MeaItImes?

Last year I see the churches OF
ch~,stendom contributed more tnah
s9o 200 900 to missionary work.
"Great Scott! What on eartn are
49, feeding the heather now-caR
III dnck and terrapin stew?
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
In Doubt.

Then you have explained to your
dance that you will bring no doWry?'
Certainly"
What did he say to that?"
He swore that it was matter OF
Indifference to him"
And how has he conducted himself
since them"
i don't know. He has never come
back. -Fliegende Batter (Munich)-
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
FIimsv Evidence.

She-But how do you know you
love me?
He-Why. 1 can't sleep at nights
thinking of you.
She-That proves nothing. Pa cant
sleep at nights thinking OF you. but
hardly think 1t Is love.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
a painful Truth.

do your American indians sun
no,nt their faces?" inquired the for
81 don't think it is altogether the
Indians that keep the drug stores go
ing" responded the native reiucean'
1v
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Has a Good cIew.

Guttersnipe 90, please-wlll yer
run in-the bloke-wot pinched my
cap?
Policeman-Who is he?
Guttersnipe-O dunno--but you
can ave young Bill ere as a clew.
The bIoke left is finger prints on the
tjd,s ficei-London Punch.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
nreaslnn for Cold slaM.

Two tablespoons whipped cream.
two tablespoons vinegar and one
tablespoon of sugar. Delicious on let
tucs as well as cold slav.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Scranton Refuses offer.

Manager Bill Clymer OF Buffalo
made an offer Of 81 900 to Owner Cole
man of Scranton. for the immediate
delivery of Outfielder Quinlaa. The
offer was promptly refused.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03
Literal.

DO / take this train to 3oseon. :.
mo. all you have to do Is to get IN :.
THE engineer wiz attend &c taxing !"
there"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-09-03

Emerson E. Bsans-I marvel at the
lack of perspicuity on Aunt Matilda
part in presenting me with this crude
imitation of the ''Ursus Major"
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

TA7 lTfT but three more days to go,
SH| and with the bill proving
wv moro popular with each per
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

Continued on Following Pager.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

<<"XCUSE Me- will be al the
~ Salt Lake theater the first
half of next week, opening
tomorrow night Excuse
Me- is farce chock full OF laughter
and merry entertainment, 1t has
placed its author, Rupert Hughes, at
the head of the list Of American dra-
matists who set genuine native humor
on the stage. lncessant laughter is the
sum of this farce, 1t aims only to make
people laugh Its purpose IS to amuse,
and it does this without stint. 1t is a
merry farce entertainment throughout,
and sane at that, for while 1t Is farce
it is not horseplay or slapstick clown
ing. 1t is a play, genuine play with
episodes that might actually happen,
persons whose counterparts really ex-
1st, and with crisp, brisk, snappy action
and wit and comedy all the time. - Elk.
euse Me is ingenious, therefore, out OF
the ordinary. 1t represents railway
Journey from Chicago to Reno and the
stage settings are a Pullman sleeper
and club car on an Overland Limited
express train
Ing luca VI a PjdS ou HOFlIS
train is unusual and novel. The pas
sengers are women and men of the kind
who, thrown together on trip like
this, would be sure to create comic hap.
penings. There arc clippers and fond
couple who fancy temporarily that
they had better separate and a woman
hater who is converted to matrimony
by woman missionary, and country
minister and his wife who try not to
get found out, and ar English tourist
who cau't engineer sleeping berth
and insists on his hath, and the most
amusing conductor who ever ran
train. and Pullman porter who is n
whole entertainment In himself. and q
dog and a typical news butcher and
all the amusing persons and funny cpl
sodcs that ever made n railway trip
memorable and interesting,
Each couple has it's own story OF ro-
nance and adventures TO lend zest TO
unexpected meetings and unforeseen Sc
quelS and j: all works into delicious
comedy as lively and brisk and anus
ing as can be imagined. The vide di-
versity of types in 80 Excuse Me- give
opportunity for excellent comedy act
ing and the COMPANY is ideal 1t is n
Henry w. Savage offering, and every
thing that has Mr. Savage s name is
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

Buntcr has accustomed him TO during
| their married life. The sketch is said
70 sparkle With brilliant lines and Mrs.
LauStry holds the attention of the au-
dlencc throughout.
Joy for old and young alike is prom.
ised when the curtain goes M on Will
son 5 comedy circus in which Nh Will
son has trained several ponies and n
stubborn mule TO do MANY picturesque.
difficult and c0micai tricks, The III
scream is provided by The attempts cf
many amateur cqucstriaus 20 maintain
seat on the back of Obey. sag mule,
who Is unridable.
The Chadwick erio is another act re-
sponslblc for much hilarity, Tnev call
their offering "For Sale, Wirrin 3
Farm. Ida May Chadwick in her
character of The He-Haw Girl. is a
scream from start to finish Miss Chad
WICK carries . medal awarded her as
the best dancer Of America. and after
she cuts few capCrs the audience in
Varlably concludes shc IS entitled to II
Bronson and Baldwin are pair who
sing and dance along lines that invar-
lably receive warm welcome in vaudc-
vale Their act is said TO he one th:,s
VIII score heavily with Salt Lake m
irons of tie twc-a-Gay.
n positive little Iausica! genius -
pTomlseG IN petite and pretty Ethel
May Barker, youthfu! violin.ste
known as The .juvcUile yiYfuoso. For
vaudeville she is csinr = wIdc range OF
selections ard Tor cacis number lis an
appropriate costume. Sic has a Iarnr
repertoire and in addition IN her rcon.
lar programme is aiwavs willing TO re.
spond TO nry requests for musical Sc.
lectioMs.
Spanish dancer with flrtter of
scarlet announces the appearance OF
Clara Balierini upor the stare AID her
disappearance IS quickly followed hy
IL re'cntrancc IN the becoming costume
OF Young Spanish inatador Her worl;
on the trapcZe. swinging 20 and fro rs
she SINGS and accompanies herself on
the banje, IS pleasing feature Of he-
act.
The Nehelle Fonda troupe OF airls
and bows amid nifty stage settings are
a nimble aggregation, Their specially
IS juggling and the fashion in ybinh
they exchange clubs and tennis racket:
is distinctly classy.
The Gaumout Weekly promises .
line of timely motion pictures devoted
to current news events in Europe. Asia
and America. while the orchestra. too
is well in line with some good selec.
tions.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

brief American tour in vaudeville the
news was heralded as an event For
her Salt Lake engagement Mrs. Lang.
try will present a fantasy entitled
'' Mrs. Justice Drake n humorous in.
cident of the divorce court in 1920 In
the title role 1.-THE Jersey Lily an.
pears as the Judge who has made up
her mind beforehand on a decision in
yolving the divorce of certain Mrs.
Bunter. The man, however, proves TO
be such an arch latterer and altogether
pleasing fellow. as far as the fair Judge
is concerned, that she eventually re.
verses her decision by accepting him,
giving him Il divorce and awarding
damages and alimony so that he can
continue his expensive habits. that Mrs.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

win play 1t at one time, and the situa-
tions are so original and the dialogue
so fast and snappy that the threeact
comedy is Just one long laugh from the
first to the final CURTAIN
Both Mr.; Kelly and Miss Lyle have
plays the part Of Ralph kirtlev, o
young congressman who is working
night and day to get congress to pass
an anti-divorce bill that is very
stringent in its provisions forbidding
divorces and divorced persons 20 re.
marry. Young Kirtley's attitude on
the divorce question has been brought
about by his handsome and venerable
father, who, dashing Kentucky colonel
that he is, has for several years made
it practice to propose to and marry
every pretty woman he meets, divoTcing
them as rapidly as possible afterward.
Kirtley. lr, meets at the Hotel Bun.
combe in the south the pretty and
fascinating Miss Gwendolyn Winston,
and promptly falls III love with her.
When he gets fairly in, head over heels,
with no chance OF escape, the audience
learns that Miss Winston is in reality
q three-times divorced woman, and
that she is even now waiting to get
her fourth divorce The pretty girl
has been unfortunate each time, finding
after the ceremony that she sbouldn It
have married the man at all, and forth
with proceeded to get divorce All
unwise to the havoc he IS creating,
young Kirtley never fails to express to
Gwendolyn his opinion of divorced
women, and he works the harder to get
his bill passed. Then to complete mat
ters Gwendolyn S four husbands turn
up at the hotel very unexpectedly.
1t all makes splendid comedy, and
Mr.. Kelly has staged it ella borately
Opening tonight, it runs through the
week at the Colonial with matinces on
Thursday and Saturday and the regu~
lar mems matinee on Monday night,
when prices are 90 and % cents.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

~ COMMENCING this afternoon the
4 Orpheum goes back 10 the old
Y popular scale of prices and at
the same time offers supreme
national favorite both theatrically and
socially by way Of the headliner.
The fact that Mrs. LangJvy (Lady de
Bathe) is topping the 0rpheum bill IS
making the blase ones sit up and take
notice. AS is generally known, Mrs
Langtry for years has been one OF Eng
land IS reigning beauties and no big pub.
lie function at which royalty was pres
ent was complete without her radiant
smile and stunning gown. When it was
first announced that Mrs. Langtry had
been secured by Martin Beck for a
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

" kept between book cover
~ Hauptmanu is known Al
Americans only for his faucih
and symbolic poems of aT.
Sunken Bell and "Hannelep|
produced by Mr., Sothern and Nh
Flske, respectlyeiy. .'Gabns
Schilling s Flight is written /,
wholly different mood. NJ
spirit Of Ibsen permeates II al
the method OF the master puids
its course. This is not sr5
school to Hauptmann; but OF a
several adventures in it, orIr
Lonely Lives has reached an
stage, and that under semi. .amatsz,
conditions, The triangular Ia
of 'sGabriel Schilling's Flight6 \
not dissimilar 10 that of f?LonsI,
Lives, y" though the pathologic
details are more insistently bon,
down upon. Gabriel Schillinr i,
Berlin painter who showed grs,.
promise, but has become a wrsf
through the devouring love OF ,w
women. His uncongenial wife M
fairly driven him from home II
her petty mind and hothersoH,
affection, But his first flipie|
took him from the frying~pan inis
the fire, il | may use such hons
~ phrase in connection with a
exotic ''soul tragedy In shoa,
Gabriel flew into the arms Of
vampire lady from Russia-
Continued on Following Pags).
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02
SHEDS GL00l
"GabrieZ Sckilling's Flight Produced
GOTHAM LIKES SENSATION
"The Master Mind Exalts CRIMINAL Will
sThe Bridal Path" Mixes Philosophy
Lubrcity and Nonsense.
By Vanderheyden Fyles

New York. Feb. 20. 1913
GABRIEL SCHILLINC'S FLIGTiT'-A drama IN
five acts. by Corbart Nauptmnn. urvln5 raj
acc
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

TRoM the royal palace of Graus-
III tarls, with pretty girl trying
her level best to marry the man
she loves. to the lawn and
yeranda of fashionable hotel in
Florida or a chilly evening in spring,
with pretty girl trying her best to get
divorce from her fourth husband,
might easily be considered far cry.
Behind the scenes, however, it is a
matter Of four or five hours work in
unpacking new costumes and mal1eups,
catching up on the lines of new part
one has worked On for week and
swinging the big scenic settings up into
the loft of the stage ready for the
opening performance.
In any event, that is exactly the
transition William J. Kelly and his
company intend TO accomplish tonight
tlon given here in years of Edwin Mil
ton Royle s successful farce comedy,
Ny. Wife's Husbands, ut the Co
lonial. "Beverly of Graustark'' closed
Saturday night after 4 very splendid
week s patronage. and the romantic
drama scored the biggest sort of a hit.
Now we II laugh for a week, - is
the way Mr.. Kelly characterlzes the
change in bill to the Royle hit, and ii
as successfully al the Colonial as 1t did
with Nat Goodwin and Mr., Royle him
self, the stock stars promises for
week of merriment at the popular house
will be more than made good.
Edwin Milton Royle scarcely needs
an Introduction to Salt Lakers. His
Squawman and other successes are
too recent and numerous Tor playgoers
not TO know that the famous author
was born and raised in Salt Lake and
that it was here he passed the days of
his boyhood and youth, and that in
Utah he numbers his personal friends
by the thousands. 1t was here he
gathered much of the material he sub
scquentlY used in some of his best hits
on Broadway. and already Manager
ketcham reports a very heavy seat
reservation from the playwright s
friends for this weeks production. 1t
has been some time since Salt Lakers
have had an opportunity of seeing any
OF Mr., Royle S works. and 'My Wife s
Husbands has not been given locally
in several years
81 have selected it for the ensuing
week because to me it is one of The
funniest PLAYS I have ever SEEM dc.
clares Mr.. Kelly. 81 saw Nat Good.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

the very best. Nine months III New
| York, six months in Chicago, four
months in Boston and record runs IN
other cities arc convincing proofs tnat
excuse Me- is the best farce ever
seen,
He is fat and smiling and carries un-
| M stakably the effects of parting hOspi-
tality shown by convivial friends, yet
20 all who can be induced To listen he
proclaims himself a broken hearted
man. He is bound for Reno and di-
vorce, wherefore his avowal OF unhap-
piness. He enters the Pullman sleeper
ut the station in Chicago, reaches his
section with some difficulty and sur
veys his berth with misgivings.
"Hayen I you a man S size berthY' -
he demands of the porter.
Swell, sir, - replies that functionary,
grinning, '' | might make more room by
opening both the windows
In due time the fat person, who is
Mr.. James Wellington, known to his in
Inmates as 'Little Jimmy decides to
go 10 bed.
80 'Scuse me, sah,' asks the porter,
''would you like to go to sleep hend
first or feet first9'
"Tf it s all the same to you, - retorts
Jimmy. 'I II 60 to sleep all over at the
same time
Then he concludes TO remain up to
see the rice Hop over the bridal couple
for whom the opposite section has been
decorated by friends.
Meantime other passengers have en-
tered the Pullman. among them Wei
hngton s wife, who. like himself, but
unknown 10 him, il starting for Reno
and for divorce. Each newcomer de-
velops some fresh adventure and so
the farce "Excuse Me- gets under
way on the trip across the continent
that is journey of ceaseless merri-
ment for four days and two thousand
miles. Fun enough. it will be agreed,
when squeezed into the two hours and
three-auarters of the play to please
even the most greedy seeker for laugh"
ter, Two thousand miles and four days
Of laughter at one performance come
pretty close TO exceeding the limit, yet
it is provided in fBxcuse Me- And
as laughter is not q matter of gcograph-
ical boundaries, 1t is probable that this
city will keenly enjoy il.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

TN addition TO two new na,;,.
Il entertainments, the weak h.,
brought us novelties from Geru.,-
and ireland. y few months a.!
shortly after the Nobel prizs &
literature had been awarded u y
Gcrhart Hauptmanu. he brousss
out e" Gabriel Schilling's FjiaS}s
in Berlin It made great ri.
on account of It's ethical. as NJ, ,
as its literary qualities. scs.
people even went so far as 70 l,5s,
il Exhibit 4 in their plea 70, !,
German censor Evidently tbs IS
thor had foreseen this antapor;s-
for he had kept the drama ~,
the general public seven yess
after lis completion, though 49, ~
or two private performances S,i Ia
been given. Last summer tina ms,'
ager Of The Irving Place tbs.ts
consulted Hauptmann on every 4.
tail of the production in Ssy
York, and engaged Rudold Cbrs
tians and Mathilda Brandt a.;
nent stars OF the Berlin stage r.
the roles of Gabriel Schillipo ,si ~
the vampire he runs away iro,.
so, all in all, the production n,
the chief event Of the Gerp,'
season IN this city.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

THE MASTER MlND"-A play in four acts. h5
Daniel d. Carter, (Har-ls theatcr.)
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

THE COUNTESS CATHLEEN"-A play In five
scenes by William Duuor Yeats. CWallack's
thcatcr)
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

FAMILY FhILING'-A comedy In tbreo acts. by
william Boyle. twalIack's thcstcr.)
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-02

THE BRIDAL PATH'-A comedy 10 three acts.
by Thompson Buchanan. (ThITty-nlnth Street
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1913-11-14
the ultimate outcome which would be

the ultimate outcome which would be
astonishing were it not easily explain
ed by the fact of the nations supreme
faith in the ability, wisdom and pa.
triotism of President Wilson to cope
with the situation. Nor is this faith
confined to the boundaries of our own
country. Apparently it has spread
across the seas, and the powers of
Europe have manifested their ac-
quiescence in the proposition that
the problem is for the United States
government to solve without their in
reference.
The Mexican situation at the pres
ent writing resembles in many points
the conditions which obtained in
Cuba preceding our Intervention. But
there will be no invasion in Mexico
by armed forces of the United States
except as a last resort. On the other
hand, there will be no backdown from
the position maintained by President
Wilson that constitutional govern
ment must be re-established and the
reign of tyrannical usurpation ended.
Our president has made it clear to the
world in his recent utterances that
law and order must be restored in
Mexico and that, whatever duty con.
fronts us in bringing it about, 1.-The
United States will never again seek
one additional foot of territory by
conquest"
With high ideals and unselfish pur.
pose, this government will face its
duty, wherever it may lead, with ev.
cry American citizen worthy of the
name upholding the sincere and cour.
ageous executive who so clearly un-
derstands and SO eloquently voices
our national conscience.