davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
PROPOSED Temple OF ALIkONY
TO MEET NEEDS OF THE DIVORCED

colony, with delightful hotels, bridge.
drives, boating, bathing and fishing.
Here life moves to music while one
waits for the papers. The social life
is charming. Jones sojourning while
he sheds Mrs. Whom he married
through misunderstanding
Mrs. Smith, who is severing her home
ties. Both expect to be bored to ex-
tinction. They meet and find that life
has only just begun for them. They
go back east, married.
A genius for statistics has figured
out the amount of money that changes
hands in this way and suggests the
establishment Of an alimony bank.
Here the tremendous divorce plant
could be centralized. The payments
and disbursements of moneys could be
transacted. The scheme stretches out
in endless vistas.
Divorced persons are often singu,
larly sensitive about their troubles
They need careful handling. The ali,
mony bank could make sympathy and
delicacy the rule with its clients. EN-
ployes might be chosen who had them,
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

tentacles ending in sharp claws. And
It will have an inscrutable Mona Lisa
smile, predicts Kate Masterson in the
New York Sunday World.
Beside 1t the octopus will appear as
harmless as a household pet and as
innocent as a primer illustration. 1t
will be part ichthysaurus with just a
strain of ornithionites giganteus. And
its real kennel name will be nine-syl-
tabled. ending with sneeze.
Like the inscrutable smile, translat-
ed, it will mean: Am | so terrible
after all? Isn't there q big interro-
CATION point in the minds of all think
ing persons as to whether l don't fill
my place in the big scheme?"
OF course there are always the com
mandments to confront US when We
feel progressive and brOad-minded
But these are the days of eugenics and
homemade marriage services and no
mostly bungalows.
One hesitates to think what things
might be if, for instance, there were
no divorce. 1t used to be disgrace
In the old times-fbut many things
were disgraceful in the old days-suf
frage, for instance Suffragists and
Divorces are found in the best fami
lies nowadays.
There is a certain chic about it for
a woman. 1t is almost as good as
being a real widow.
Besides that you will note, like neu
rasthenia and paranoia, common per
sons never have it. They can't afford
it. 1t doesn't thrive in the tenement
districts But when you get to the
elevator apartments where there are
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
SCALP TROUBLE FOR YEARS

26S Harrison St., Elyria, Ohio.-"My
case was a scalp trouble. l first no
ticed small punches on my scalp which
commenced to itch and woulc
scratch them and in time they got
larger, FORMING scale or scab with
little pus, and chunks Of hair would
come out when / would scratch them
of. It caused me to lose most of my
hair. It became thin and dry and life
less. was troubled for over ten
years with it until 1t got SO bad was
ashamed to go to barber to get my
hair cut.
Il tried everything / could get hold
of, - and -, but received no
cure until I commenced using Cuticu-
ia Soap and Ointment when the scale
commenced to disappear. The way l
used the Cuticura Soap and Ointment
was to wash my scalp twice a day
with warm water and Cuticura Soap
and rub on the Cuticura Ointment. l
received benefit in couple Of weeks
and was cured in two months"
(Signed) F. J. Busher, Jan. %, 1913.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Observation-Disclosures
FORGOT DESIRE TO QUESTION
Chalrman's Reception of WouId-6e
Interrosator Somehow Discovered
the Rest of Them.

At a political meeting in a certain
New South Wales gold-mining dis
trict the chair was taken by an ath-
letic miner. The candidate during
his speech was much interrupted by
hootings and rough chan. and his
chairman was soon in a state of boil
ing indignation. Smothering his
wrath, however, he pacitied the
boys" by assuring them that at the
end of the candidates speech they
should be at liberty to put any ques-
ton they chose. Accordingly, at the
end of the harangue he arose and in
auired In stentorian tones and In a
rich Irish brogue: His inny gintle-
man a question to airsk?" A stout
little Welsh miner, who had been a
conspicuous disturber Of the peace
of the evening. shuffied slowly up the
steps of the platform. But at the
top he was met by the chairman,
who. without the slightest warning,
delivered a terrific left-and-righter,
and sent the Welshman sprawling on
his back. Now" roared the chair
man has inny other gintleman a
question to airsk?''-and there was
no response.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
SAW OPPORTUNITY FOR JOKE
Had Secretary of War on the
Anxious Seat.

. William H. Taft, when he WAS
president, never overlooked an cppor-
tunity for a joke. In the closing
months of his administration Henry
L. Stimson, then secretary of war,
wrote Mr.. Taft very urgent request
that he give friend of Stimson a
certain federal position.
Mr.. Taft wrote to Stimson as fol-
lows:
MY Dear Stimson: I am very
sorry I cannot do anything for your
friend in response to your letter OF
today. I would like to accommodate
you, but it is impossible. Sincerely
yours,
civilian H. TAFT"
Under that he wrote:
Turn over"
Then Mr.. Stimson read on the 9th
er side of the paper:
II couldn't do it today because /
gave the fellow the job yesterday
Popular Magazine.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

selves been through the process and
would know, therefore, all the little
points of Importance.
Reads Like Ideal Plan.
There would be no miXupS. Allmony
getters and alimony payers would
have different departments and en-
frances. cheerful atmosphere would
be cultivated. There would be no
hard feelings or criticisms or gossip.
There might be afternoon tea.
And as in SO many cases the dl-
vorced make up their differences and
marry again there could be a regular
chaplain who would retie the knot
quietly, cut the service and omit all
unnecessary swank and show.
The timid ex-wife going to draw her
first payment would be met at the
entrance doorway by IAN usher in
smart uniform who would take her W
in plush-lined elevator to the proper
office and window. If she didn't like
checks she could get antiseptically
sprayed and germless money.
Naturally embarrassed and con
fused. she would be offered tea and
cakes and then politely shown out OF
secret door opening on another
street. For, as some one once said
it is nothing to be seen going any
place, it is to be seen coming out
that counts.
For, of course, divorce is not yet
quite respectable That is one OF the
charming things about it. That is
what made Reno such a pleasant place
to stop-far pleasanter, for instance
than Chautauqua or the East Aurora
farm. Culture isn't everything.
Many Possibilities in Idea.
The concentration and localization
of divorce in this Temple Of Alimony
would rob it of many of its terrors
1t would give it a cachet. Rem9mber
what a dreadful sort of trade pawn
broking used to be- And now look
at it as it is carried on in little white
marble buildings resembling Carnegie
libraries or Turkish baths, with rows
of motors at the door.
The idea teens with possibilities
and there isn't the shadow of doubt
that what to the thoughtless reader
may seem a jest will be one of the
realities of the future For there is no
stamping it out. Divorce is growing
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
SHOW PICTURE OF THE DEAD
Tombstones in New England Gene
terry Are Furnished With Some
what Unique Decoration.

Many means have been used for
marking the resting place of the dead,
or in ornamentation of their graves,
from the ornate tombs of marble and
granite to the grotesQue totem poles
of the American Indians. The French,
who are noted for their fine taste in
decoration and their discrimination in
art matters, disfgure their marble
tombs with hideous wreaths of Jet or
purple glass beads. But 1t has re-
NAMED for a little cemetery in New
England to set new fashion in a
means of commemorative the dead.
A hole is chiseled into the slab or
monument and into this is fitted pic
ture OF the one whose grave is be-
meath. The portrait is generally a
photograph or tintype. A cover which
can easily be lifted up is then placed
over the opening Anyone passing
through the cemetery and wishing to
know how the person before whose
tombstone he has halted appeared in
life has only to raise the little cover
over the picture 10 satisfy his curl
osity
This is by no means a new custom
in this town. 1t began many years
ago. On one of the monuments is a
photograph placed there in 1866, which
is as clean as though it had been put
there a year ago.
Though this custom of having tomb
stones made to hold portraits origi-
mated in this particular place. 1t is
now being adopted in neighbortag
towns.-Harper's Weekly.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Divorce Doesn't Thrive in the Tene.
ment District.

and, while laws may be made which
will restrict it and make it more diff
cult, men and women will wrench the
bonds asunder when they find them
troublesome.
As it stands at present it must al
ways be a wrench and wrangle. Law
yers control it now and make it as
elaborate as possible. The more fuss
there is about litigation the higher
the price.
The Temple of Alimony would have
TO secure a high priest-one OF those
terribly bald men with eyeglasses
whose name has never been touched
by the breath of scandal This is al
ways a wise move when running any
thing at which the finger of scorn is
likely TO point
The Amalagamated Alimony Amelio-
rative association would have TO have
one OF these Who's Who's. And to
stun reporters, Investigators or muck
rakers there should be a chaste wait
ing room with plush rugs for the
weary feet of the alimonyettes to
tread upon.
Literature of Right Order.
Also a heavy, oblong. important
looking table with impressive legs.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
LEGAL Opinion,

"a cat sits on my back fence every
night. and he yowls and yowls aud
yowls. Now, I don't want to have
any trouble with Neighbor Jones. but
this thing has gone far enough, and
l want you to tell me what to dor"
The young lawyer looked as solemn
as an old, sick owl, and said not a
word.
II have a right to shoot the cat
haven't II"
II would hardly say that" replied
young Coke Blackstone. The cat
does not belong to you, as under
stand it."
mo, but the fence does"
Then" concluded the light Of law,
Il think it safe to say you have n
perfect right to tear down the fence"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Not Always So Common.


Our great-grandmothers and fathers
did without it to a great extent and
went on cheerfully throwing the china
at each other till death did them part,
Sex questions were ignored. Now
they teach the answers in the schools.
There are no more of the scorching
love affairs or the blistering letters
except in the police news.
1t is woman that has changed, Of
course. Sir Galahad is not much
heard of at the~ladies' clubs. He be-
longed to a time when they used to
have stereopticon views and cham
Der of horrors called a Family Album
on the handicapped parlor table.
These made up the Joy of life.
Men and women respected each
other and there was less comradeship
between them in marriage and out Of
it than now. And divorce was not
considered at all nice.
Show girls didn't run off with col
lege boys and enter into the holy
bonds on a dare, for it wasn't so easy
to escape and win on the almony ques-
ton when the honeymoon was over.
This was back in the eighteen-ffties.
But with the early sixties divorce
began to boom. They started to keep
track of them. There were about ten
thousand a year. Now there are ninety
thousand
1t is one of the giant commercial
growths of the age. 1t wraps up mil
lions of dollars in its claws. 1t gives
clerks, typists, all busy in the big mill.
1t occupies blocks OF Office buildings.
1t uses tons of stamps, stationery
pens, ink, copying machines. 1t con
sumes fortunes in telegraph and tele-
phone tolls.
It keeps gangs of hard-working pri-
vate detectives busy day and night
getting blue prints to back up their
statements. II rides in taxicabs and
stops at hotels invariably named after
the saints. Divorce evidence obtained
under an eagles wing seems to carry
weight with jury.
Has Tried Many Residences.
Divorce fitted about for while
| looking for a suitable residence. II
tried Rhode Island-it planted itself
! on the rock where the Pilgrim Fathers
| discovered the first clambake-then
| swished of to Dakota. Ii even visited
| blue biddied Philadelphia.
Then it planted itself in the health
| ful climate OF Reno, where it he's built
NJ a fourishing, fashionable cottage
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

And on this in neat rows some OF the
more serious magazines. The litera-
ture of the temple of alimony would'
be one of the most important items.
1t should by all means include a
Book of Divorce Etiquette. Francis
Crowninshield could get one up splen-
didly. He did that Rules for Dinner
Conversational book that no one who
pretends to be anyone can afford to be
without.
You may recall the beginning page.
To start conversation gracefully with
dinner neighbor who may be un-
known to you, take up your roll and
ask smilingly: Is this my bread or
yours?"
If ever a manual of this sort was
needed badly it is in this matter of
divorce.
Because everything is at present so
crudely ordered in regard to the mat
ter no one knows what to do. II two
divorced people were to meet and
shake hands in friendly fashion, or
even appear decently civil to each 9TH
er, they would be talked about.
AS a general thing they are SO happy
over the separation that they have
only the most grateful feelings for
each other The one matter that seems
to create dissension-and this also
should be arranged by some decisive,
Just set of rules-is the division of the
worldly goods-the wedding presents,
the plate.
Proper Division a Requisite.
Who gets the canary? Which is to
have faithful Fido? 1t is all right for
Annabel 10 take the pearls that Alfred
has given her-the toilet ivory-but it
would seem as though she might leave
him the silver cigarette box which his
best man gave him.
II half the Annabels and the Alfreds
could be separated on probation, as
some of the judiciaries are now doing,
they would make up their rows. Any
number of couples would fall on each
others necks and go out Of the court
room weeping tears of JOY.
Nerve tagged, tired men who feel
that their wives dislike them; neu-
rotic, novel-fed women who think he
doesn't love them any more, rush into
divorce without in the least meaning
to do so.
The Temple of Alimony might help
every indignant wife is as sure Of her
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Our Grandparents Were Content With
Throwing Round the Family China.

exact requirements as the colored lady
who appeared in a southern court to
complain that her husband was unduly
attentive to other ladies of his &C
quaintance.
She recounted some of his offenses.
81 see," said the Judge sympatheticai-
ly; Il suppose, then, madam, that you
wish to obtain a divorce?"
e''-protested the lady.
Judge. do yuh think l want to oil.
vawse the handsomest niggah in Caro-
lima and let him marry one of them
coons? Oh, no, judge, what | want
Is an Injunction"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

clothes. One day my husband got the
neighbors in to see what the matter was
but they could not help me. My first
thought was for Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound and / sent my hus-
band out for 1t and took it until was en-
tirely cured. am a woman of perfect
health and my health and happiness
came from Lydia E. Pinkham's medi-
cine. You may rest assured that do
all / can to recommend your wonderful
medicine to my friends. - MRS. FRED
STONE, Route No. 8, Malone, N. Y.
The success of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled. It may be
used with perfect confidence by women
who suffer from displacements, infiam-
nation, liberation, tumors, irregularities.
periodic pains, backache, bearing down
feeling, fiatulency, indigestion, dizziness,
or nervous prostration. Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound is the STAN
dard remedy for female ills.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
One CT these days some American
futurist will put In black and white

conception OF Lnat
great American in
dustry, divorce.
1t will be a fear
full thing-a rep
lillian mammoth,
hydra-headed, of
course, with pink
eyes; h o r n e d ,
fanged, bat-eared,
whiskered, ser
pent-tongued, with
dozens of Snaky
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
For Aching, Perspirins Feet

use Tyrees Antiseptic Powder either
sprinkled into the shoes or used in
solution. Never fails to relieve. ESQ.
at all druggists or sample sent free by
J. S. Tyree. Washington, d. C.-Adv.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Stunq.

Il want my money back for these
here socks" said the man as he hand
ed the clerk a package. The sign
you had up said the socks was.
guaranteed for three months
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
BraziI,s Black Diamonds.

Black Diamonds come from the prov
ince of Bahia, Brazil. Twenty thou
sand dollars was paid for the fines
specimen known.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Worlds Saddest Sloht.

The saddest sight in all the world is
not a grave of the dead, grievous as
that might be, but is a grave of the liv-
ing-humanity sepulchred while yet
alive-Frances e. Willard.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Easiest Way.

Where did you get all that hard
cash?"
From a soft thing"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
IN SUCH PAIN
WOMAN Tore
her CLOTHES
Testifies She Was Restored
to Health by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
Malone, N. Y, =" Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound has GER

talnly done me q lot
Of good. first heard
Of it when I was q
girl andI always said
that if I ever had fe-
male trouble / would
take il.
Z" / suffered from
organic inaamma-
ton and would have
spells when l would
be in such pain that
III would tear nv
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
STATISTICS or DIVORCE

In 1857 there was an average
of 27 divorces in every 100000
of population.
In 1907 the divorces numbered
72,o62, the estimated increases
in five years periods being 80
per cent.
New York furnishes only 20
divorce to every 100000 of pop
uIation.
About 5000 men in New York
are paying alirnony.
Figuring S35 month as fair
average, the total alimony pay
ments year in New York reach
$3.50, COO.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

The mere fact that a man doesn't
laugh at his own jokes is no indica-
ton that he doesn't think them funny.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Youna America GettIna Wise.

"Procrastination is the thief OF
time"
rs he the fellow, pa, who takes
away the years from a woman's age?7
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

Anyway, it doesn't take nine tailors
to make a self-made man.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

Silence has this advantage over
speech. that you never have to take 1t
back
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

two or three baths to a fiat and maids
leashed to dogs, there it fiourishes like
a bay tree
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25
Which Is Different.

"He says he is always outspoken in
his wife's presence"
He means outalked."
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

Sir GaIahad Is Unknown at the Ladies
Clubs Today.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

Also q heavy, oblong. important
| locking table with impressive legs.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-07-25

selves been through the process and
would know, therefore, all the little
nOints of inheritance
The chronicle=news., 1913-10-22
WANTED 10 MAKE SURE

Tho colorcd ianitor OF the flat next
door approached the grocer and hand
cd him paper containing some
white powder.
Say. hc~n.'' - 1ksSd. what you
tink hAs ~ yes to0oo 9 - ~ me
yo' opiaion.
The grocer sm ,iied II. then touched
II TO his tongue.
Well. Jake. ! should say that was
soda
bats jcAt what I say. replied the
janitor. triumphantly. II say dnt's
soda. but my oil woman. she low i,'s
! iat-pixcn she says she knows tie.
Jes' taste II again. hoss TO to mel;
sure"
The chronicle=news., 1913-10-22
DAH BALL
Al tho Crystal today.
GREEKS 10 HAVE HEARING

Charged with a statutory crime
Mike Puntis and Steve Popas. Greeks.
will he given a hearing before jug
;,cc Of tho Peace Stone this after
noon. The complaining witnesses
arc Mary Trujiiio. II. ami Carmel
TrujIiio. 1:. who came from Dawson.
y. NJ. with Pun;is on Sunday and
who were arrested with the two men
at a local roon,ing house early yes
tcrday morning. Puntis may be In
dictcd on a federal charge for viola
tion Of the Mann white slave act.
The chronicle=news., 1913-10-22
ocfoDEl NUl0K1 OF
c. OF G. BULLETIN OUT

Tho October numbcr Of tho Chaa-
her Of Commcrce Balictia Il Oft the
Chronicic-Ncws pres, today. This II
one Of the very best Issues asd the
book Ia fiiled from cover 20 cover
with live booster reading matter rel.
ativc to Trinidad aad Las Animss
county. The issuc starts out with
a. article Of Trinidad. The month's
issue contains much valuable infor-
nation relative to the cost Of paving
Trinidsd's streets and covers about
every field OF Industrial activity.
The chronicle=news., 1913-10-22
STOMACH T1oUDIE AND C0NsTl.
PATTON CURED

was sick for three years with
stomach trouble and constipation.
doctorcd continually with different
physicians. with only temporary re-
lief" saws Mrs. Hester Waite. OF Ant
wcrp. Ohio. a friend advised me to
try Chamheriain's Tablets. which l
did. and continued 10 use them for
ono year. and they completely cured
me-. not only Of tho stomach trouble
hut also Of the coustipaiion." ror
satc hy all dealers.