davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
4Ths wit.iest sIsn : gver Knew

The American Magazine has been
offering prizes for the best letters
written on the subject THE Wittiest
Man | Ever Knew" Following is one
of several prize winning letters pub
lished in the May number:
The wittiest man I ever knew, and
have known many. was not a Yam
kee, nor a Dutchman. neither was he
an freshman, but genuine, thor
oughbred Welshman. who lived and
died among the mountains OF Wales.
ut Is an acknowledged fact that the
greatest living statesman Is a little
Welshman, none other than the Hon
orable David Lloyd-0eorge. and the
wlttiest man | ever knew was one OF
the same nationality, named Jones.
Although never in this great coun-
try of ours himself. yet his sayings
are repeated from the Atlantic TO the
Pacific coast.
Preaching, shop-keeping. law and
medicine were all Voeations of this
man Jones. He combined wit with
addressing his parIshIoners. serving
his customers, advising his clients,
and administering to the physical
ailments OF his patients.
HE was large, tall, lanky man,
dignified and patriarehal In appear
ance, and could and would crack a
Joke without even a smile on his coun-
tenance.
Once, while having his shoes shined
the bootblack remarked that he never
saw a shoe of ouch immense size,
when Jones quickly replied 1 have,
the shoe on the other foot
- 49, IA
and asked for yard Of bacon. Jones
Immediately wrapped IN paper three
pigs feet What Il this you are CIV
Ing me-? asked the man. Did you
not ask for one yard Of baeon?' asked
Jones. Yes replied the man. Well
three feet make one yard quickly re-
piled the merchant.
Jones had a habit Of smoking oe.
casionally. A brother minister re
buked him, remarklng that tobacco
was no good
Z" Then we will burn 1t up. SAID
Jones.
One time Jones complained Of
rheumatism In one Of his knees. His
guest remarked 1t waa sign OF OLE
age Well, answered Jones. the
other knee is as old. but has not tbs
rheumatism
While on the street one day, two
men met Jones. and wanting some fur
aeeosted him with. .Ionea. have yo,
heard the newsg
! No, said Jones Whit Ii it?' Thel
answered sadly, The devil IL dead.
! Quickly taking two pence from hi
pocket. Jones gave one 10 each man
saying as he did 50. I always rcmem
, Der the orphans
In one of sermons Jones com
pared a miser to n nIg. saying that M
good can come from either while the,
are living.
In his last Illness. Jones still re
tanned his wit The lawyer who wal
. sent for 10 make hIH will. and hi
physician each atood On either aid
Of his bed when Jones calmly re
3 marked. To-day. | IN Ike my Saw
iour, dying between Two thieves.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
Horses Doing Hard Work Should sol
Run on Pasture.

For animals that must do hard
work, or are worked regularly. It Is
not economical nor beneficial to give
them any appreeiable amount OF green
feed. For such animals and driving
horses, nothing but dry feed should
be used. It Is probably more eeono-
mical, when their efficiency and free
dom from sickness are considered. 10
buy dry feed for such animals rather
than allow them to Craze or get green
feed in any way. There is no more
frequent cause of securing, cole.
founder and other disturbances Of TINT
sort than green feed for hard-woTk=
ing or driving animals The animal
that Is in pasture at nights and On
Sunday, or other idle days. Is almost
certain to suffer from too great loose
ness of the bowels the next day. Il
given fast or hard work.
The most economical plan Is TO KEEP
the horses and mules working every
day, Just as nearly as II is possible &c
do so, and grow on the farm, or puf-
chase. If the feed is not grown. aufil-
cient dry feed to supply the entire
needs of this work-stock.
We know the animals like the green
feed, and that IL is their natural
feed, but We are not keeping then
under their natural" conditions when
we work them hard or drive them fast
and consequently what Is theif
natural feed under natural con
ditiong ceases To be their natural
feed when the conditions are IN.
natural or those of the hard-worked
horse or mule either on the farm oi
elsewhere. For idle animals, or foi
those doing light work, the cheapest
source Of feed Is good pasture. bui
for an animal doing regular. hard
work, or hard or fast work Irregular
ly, a pasture Is not only not eeono'
mical, but Is common cause Of sick
ness and reduced efficiency
The man who works his horses and
mules hard AZ regularly and con.
stantly n possible and produces of
the farm sufficient dry feed 10 supply
their entire needs the year round i
keeping his work-stock the mos
economically. when freedom from dIH
ease and efficiency are considered
TAFT Butler. IN The Progressive Farm
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
See the
Famous "Sfyleplus guar
anfeed Suits At SIT,

Can not be matched elsewhere
for so.
\ Handsome line Of Boy s
Norfolk Suits at about Il less
than you can get them else
where.
Remember we are positively
headquarters f. T the best work
ING pants and shirts.
4 good time to place your
order for a suit made-to-meas-
IRE.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
Announcement

Tho undersigned. John W. Myers.
of New Windsor District. respectfully
announces himself ~ n candidate for
County Commissioner for Carroll
county In The Democratic Primaries
II be- held IN IHa Yaar 1919 | make
this announcement IT the request 81
a number Of friends and Democratic
voters OF GarHaII county, In accept
Ing the appointment ~ County Com
missioner for n nnezpirnd term Of
Sir. J. s. EInE. M deceased. Il Va
offered M without solicitation on M
part and I hope Ihat have met the
conditions required Of me aa MT.
Fink'A successor.
Having served The people Of thu
county as Commissioner 10 the beaL
OF my ability. J respectfully ask and
request their support and endorse
ment ms n candidate for County Com
missioner for Carroll County In the
Democratic Primaries 10 be held TIL
year 10 succeed myself
Respectfully.
JOHN w. MYERS
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
A Boy Who Made Money on His faea-
tIon.

The W0mana Home Companion haa
been Offering prizes for letters de
scriptIye of delightful vacations at 1T
tie cost Following is a part Of the
letter that Won first prize:
This Is how | had vacation At :
cost of sI.a5. earned SIS, and gained
ten pounds IN weight and got strong
in a few weeks.
Il am a boy fourteen years old and
have TO earn my own living came
from Germany TO Minneapolis with q
relative three years ago, and went 10
school ana know English pretty we'll
now. I did odd Jobs Saturdays and
before and after school. And vacations
l was delivery boy for a dye-houEe.
Minneapolis Is big. but New York.
where | stayed a month, could eat Il
in one bite. worked from eight 10 six
for four dollars a week. II was TOO
small to I've well on. II was very hot
last summer, and | was thin and had
some throat trouble.
In July q lady at the Boys Club
where | visited asked me If | would
like to take 4 vacation. She said |
could pick berries by lake. earn
some money. and get strong In the
country.
July 18th went out to farm
with four other boys The farm pee.
pie gave u a big supper and an old
blanket. and We slept in the fresh hay
in the barn.
I'VE began picking red raspbefries
at seven IN the morning at two cents
a box, with an hour Off at noon. We
quit at five. The sun was hot and
was stiff for few days from STOPPING,
but soon I felt all right. learned 10
work fast and made about a dollar a
day.
This sounds like work, but began
to feel fine. I went to bed at dark and
got up at six. After work we would
swim or fish or play ball. The folks
cooked our fish and our food and We
ate under : big tree; every meal wa
a picnic. We bought our own bread
and some bacon and eggs. but they
gave US all the milk we could drink
and fresh vegetables and gravy. and
all the berries we would pick for our
selves.
when the berries we're done they
hired me for five dollars a month
room and board and some extra
clothes. I have learned to milk and
drive the horses and help on the farm
and I am going to have a farm Of ny
own as soon as can earn one.
II can make something of myself
instead Of cumming about the streets
and smoking and going to moving pic.
ture shows I didn't know there we're
SO many birds anywhere. am Ike 3
brother With the boys out here"
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
ro The Democrat. Of Carroll County.

TO Inc HfHaITHI= d iHFoII NuHHII.
Being = candidate for the House 81
Delegates On In Democratic Ticket.
| respectfully a. the support OF all
Democrats :. - coming primary
election.
IVAN L. SAVERS.
Woolery's District
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
Nickel.

A nickel Of 4 new design
Is issued by the Mint;
1t bears a buffalo, and scorns
OF trust in God" to hint.
The moralIst is fain to ask,
Is five cents SO much cash
We do not need Most High support.
And 50 are getting brash?
Or Is five cents SO small sum
It bears no taint abhorred,
And cannot stain our precious souls
And makes us need the Lord?
The golden calf dispensed with Hin
In ages long ago;
Will any better luck befall
The nickel buffalo?
Munsey's Magazine.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
Danger IN Delay.
Kidney Diseases IRE Too Dangerous
For Westminster People 20
Neglect

The great danger Of kidney troubles
Is that they so often eel Arm hold
before the sufferer recognizes them.
Health will be gradually undermined.
Baekache. headache. nervousness.
lameness, soreness. lumbago. urinary
troubles, dropsy. gravel and Bright's
disease often follow IN merciless sue
eession. Don't neglect your kidneys.
Help the kidneys With Doan's Kidney
pills, which are 80 strongly recon-
mended right here IN this locality.
Mrs. Charles Hartdagen. Emmits-
burg, Md. says: I think Doan's
Kidney pills are fine and | gladly
confirm the endorsement | gave them
some years ago. I was troubled by
rheumatic twingez and had severe
pains In my back. Ny eyes were
weak. ! was unable 10 get relief un=
til | used Doan's Kidney pills Another
Of my family also used Doan's Kidney
pills and WAS permanently cured OF
kidney trouble and rheumatism"
For sale by all dealers. Price 30
cents. Foster-MIihnrn Co, Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Unit
ed States.
Remember the name--Doan's--
take no other.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13

Judge NJ. v PIneEnsy at recent
banquet recalled n Incident TO show
that there Is come humor associated
With such a serious thing as the law.
In Dawson City = eolored man. Sam
Jones by name. Waa Oh trial for fell
ony. The judge asked him II he de-
sired the appointment Of lawyer to
defend him. No. Eah.a said Sam.
rs gwine TO throw myself on the ig-
norance of the cote
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13

Every time my neighbor ID seen FIX
Ing ID something about his premises,
my We uses 1t as an opportunity to
call ny attention to some Of M short
eomIngH.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
The Commonwealth
Male Quartet
II THE 1918 cHAUTAuouA.

Thee big town entertainers are
known n ; dozen States. Niagara falls.
Milwaukee. Galveston, Richmond. 10.
chester. Harrisburg have all heard them
In he lzsl season, and the enthusiastic
comment Of committees and preaz all
down the line has been " the mszI versa
tile troupe In Lyeeum work Every
one ! master Of makeup. md min
iery. zolo and chorus work. Besides. the
frat tenof plays the piano and the bari
tone gives readings Chautauaua has
secured them 10 give the assembly this
summer Two hours packed full q every
thing delightful from n Southern melody
With banjo accompaniment to tie lmper.
souatIoa Of Uncle Billy in : humorou.
recitation.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
The MadernZIIalpln.

Backward, turn backward. oh. hat
pin so long
Make me but safe from thy sharp.
cruel prong
Make me less fearful thu ! may be
stabbed
Less apprehenElye thai ono eyell be
jnbbcd
Once was | prodded full deep In my
chin.
Since which I'm After thee. cruel hat
min
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
CANDIDATES. CARD.

To the Democrats 81 Carroll COUNTY.
As candidate On the Democratic
Ticket for County Treasurer ! AZ
the support Of IL Democrats at the
coming primary election.
q. EDWARD DoDREn.
nnIonfoHn District
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13

To the Democrats d Carroll County
! hereby announce ny candidacy for
Sheriff of Carroll County on the Demo.
cratic ticket. subject to the primaries.
ALBERT L. DAVIS.
MoOlery's District.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13

To The Democrats Of Carroll County.
! hereby announce my candidacy
for County Commissioner Of
Carroll county On the Democratic
ticket. and aHE The support OF M
friends IT The coming primaries.
JOSEPH d. WIMFnT.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13

Remember the name--Doan's--and
take no other.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1913-06-13
THE WISE men

VIII not buy their Suits this
Spring until they visit Carroll
County's big and only exclu-
siye CLOTHING STORE, be-
cause we do not sell the ordi-
nary kind of Clothing. Our
Suits are made By the high
grade manufacturers. We show
by far the largest assortment
Of the very latest and most
popular styles and give you the
greatest value for the price.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07
Be Particular About Your
Thoughts ---- Never Mind Your
Clothes, Collars, Cravats or Socks.

you need worry about in regard to the
outside Of yourself.
But concentrate your attention
upon being DIFFERENT, AND
PARTICULAR inside of your brain,
where the REAL YOU lives, and where
your real life goes on.
One different THOUGHT is worth
a million different pairs of socks, or
collars, or any other kind of outside
wear.
You don't want to pass over this
earth like a silly monkey and then be
forgotten.
You want to add something to what
men have done here and take your
place as real human being, not as a
tailor's dummy.
The real men and women have
been those who have given to the world
new and DIFFERENT THOUGHTS.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

IllenQ EQlSOn. When he was cheap
little operator, tapping away at wire,
the other operators, who probably had
their minds on different socks and
different neckties, thought that only
one message could go over a wire at the
same time. But Edison mad a
DIFFERENT thought. He sent several
messages over the same wire, and
he did other things to prove the
Importance Of thinking differently.
The stepmother of Abraham Lincoln
was very far behind the times in
dress. She never wore a tight corset.
Probably never wore any. She would
not have known what to do with a
high-heel slipper. But she knew what
to do with Abraham Lincoln. His
mother had made him big, powerful
boy, and his stepmother made him a
thoughtful, good boy.
She taught him, helped him with his
books and encouraged his ambition.
In her THINKING as stepmother
she was different What she did for
him gave Lincoln 70 the world uis
own mother made his bra;n and bic h;a
powerful bo,, p,4 +l.4 I'LL.
body, without the slight education and
the mental direction that he owed
to his stepmother, MIGHT bavo LODI
nowhere.
In evorv+h;nn = !; =, ,.n
thou~,,4 49,
Young men and vo,,no won ,, ,,.,
work for living look At tboso o1o4
you You will find that those who r,,+
the most attention on The d;Gara,,t
neckties, or the different dress ara
those that n,,t fla H..
The DIFFERENT WAYS OF GET
TING AHEAD IN THE WORLD.
You will find a Young idiot MIX
different shaped collar each week,
always doing his work IN THE SAME
DOLL Way
You will learn that he thinks =
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

Is q
There in Galileo's head was brain
that could THINK DIFFERENTLY
The moment he heard that maker of
lenses in Holland had invented a glass
which brought distant objects near,
Calico, without even seeing the new
invention, MADE THE FIRST TELE.
SCOPE, and was able to show to those
very religious men who had made him
deny the truth on his knees that the
Whirling planets in the distance had
rings and moons accompanying them
on their journeys.
The difference between Calico and
the ordinary man who amounts to
nothing, kind friends, was not differ
ence in neckties or socks, but differ.
ence INSIDE OF THE HEAD.
And so it was with our American
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

Before Columbus came they used
to go to India in roundabout wav.
Columbus had DIFFERENT thought.
He thought that he could get to India
by sailing out across the ocean to the
West. He didn't pay any attention to
the silly people who told him that at q
certain point the ocean ended, and that
he would drop over the edge into eternal
nothlngness. He believed and knew
that he could go on sailing, and he went.
He bumped into this continent, Of
which he never dreamed And because
Columbus THOUGHT in different
way America was discovered
Before the days of Calico people
believed and religion taught that the
earth was flat, and that it had four
corners. Some of the old Greeks knew
better, but they didn't circulate
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

''' particular" We are told
that such and such
breakfast food should be
eaten by the particular man.
Forty-seven hundred different kinds
of collars, with points up or down, or
with no points at all, are recommended
as being DIFFERENT.
Tailors and manufacturers of shirts,
shoes, neckties, socks, and even belts,
urge the young men Of the day to be
DIFFERENT and to get without fail
the shirt, belt, trousers, socks that are
different from others Of the same kind.
The results of this appeal to mems
difference and to particular men" are
seen in many directions.
You see one different goose, with
green hat and little bow in the back
of it.
You see another particular" silly
person, rejoicing in the fact that the
pockets on his coat slant up and down
at an angle Of forty-five degrees
instead of being straight, or very
happy indeed because his necktie, shirt
and socks are of the same color.
One man, proud of himself, will
order a wild duck in a restaurant, and
insist upon having a lime instead of
lemon to squeeze over it. He wants
you to know that HE is different, AND
particular.
AS for the poor women Of this
world, Heaven only knows what THEY
won't do, to be different.
They wifi wear dresses as big as
balloons oneminute.
The next minute they will wear
dress so tight that they must slit it up
the side in order to walk.
They will wear hats as wide as
cart wheel, and then "toque" smaller
than the top of the head.
They are willing to squeeze their
waists or have no waists at all they will
fasten in their hips with bands of iron
and rubber although the hip is the
most important and valuable thing
about a woman except the brain; they
will puff out those same hips ludicrously
with what they call paniers, or baskets.
Anything on earth they will do, or
wear, or suffer.
Now, young and old men, and old
and young women, please note that
there is only one kind of difference in
the world that counts
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

siI:ss sE!sIiSsssfs5EEG
their k II o w | e d 6 e
very widely.
Calico, as he looked
at this earth and the
outside universe
thought differently
from o t h ers. He
taught men some
thing about the shape
ana character OF This
moving planet upon
which tn oy lived.
His DIFFERENT
thought c h a n G G d
and improved the
thoughts Of all men.
And he was very
wise.
When the religious
power told him that
ne must get on his
knees and deny that
t h e e arth w e n t
around the sun he
thought differently
from some others who
had been martyrs un-
n e c e S arily. He
thought, ct doesn't
make much difference
what h e Sc poor,
ignorant, religious
men believe, or what
they make me say.
But it would make a
good deal Of differ
ence if l permitted
them to burn Calico
alive for telling the
truth" So he did get
on his knees and
solemnly said that the
earth did not 60
around the sun, at the
same time repeating
under his breath,
"Still she moves"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

Copyright. 1913. by the Star Company Great
Britain Rights Reserved)
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-09-07

\ this age the intelligent
advertiser appeals to the
man who considers himself
different" OF who is fond
of declaring that he is
particular" We are told
that such and such a
hleaLfaSt food should ha
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-26

You Don't Have to Know Amy Book Titles,
The Catalogue Contains Them All.

eookov Contest
VIM linn rev days list Of 5000 titles carefully arranged in
from this list of titles the II titles which will
TITLES WHICH THE Il REPRESENT
TANNED IN THE =
@ is how VII solve picture by nsng the Suppose
represents battlefield which
routing out an Gany @ that
viii be able find the correct title without that
What SORT Of book titles that picture MUST have been
by the Cavalry The Rout of the Infantry Put Flight
such title is listed
%
such title BY the Cavalry You turn to the book titles be-
the nfantry The You turn % the titles with the Letter
the letter fC and look for"AND FINDth title Con
by the Cavalry.
FOUND CORRECT PICTURE DRAWN
REPRESENT with all pictures
of books
represented in that
is being will sale
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-03-26
70 RESTORE SUMP
FOR MORE WATER
City Commission Appropriates
Five Thousand Dollars for
Preliminary Work.

To defray the expense OF preliminary
work on the rehabilitation Of the old
sump in Enigra ton canyon as part OF
a project worked out by the water de-
partment officials, who believe at least
100000 gallons daily flow can be added
TO the water supply thereby. the city
commission yesterday appropriated 10000.
1t Is proposed to drain the old sump,
clean il and repair II and to install q
permanent plant for pumping the water
from the underground sources that feed
the stump Into the citys supply system.
From Investigations made recently, C.
b. Barrett. superintendent of watcrWorks,
is convinced that for a comparatively
small outlay a big addition to the city g
water supply can be obtained. He places
the amount of water available at 3. 900, 900
gallons daily flow, though he believes II
possible that 5000. 900 gallons might be
obtained II the operations are carried out
on q maximum scale. The total cost Oh
the undertaking may vary between S2o. :
900 and 900
The money appropriated yesterday. Is
for preliminary work only. Whether
money will be provided TO carry out the
und ertasing will depend on the results
obtained with the first $4,000
The sump was abandoned years ego
and has now filled up In the form OF a
small lake where the water stagnates:
By cleaning It and driving n series OF
wells 10 tap the underground flow that
supplies the sump. Superintendent Bar
relt believes a steady flow can be struck
which would prove invaluable during
emergency periods, Had such a sup
ply been available during the cold snap
lagl January there would have been no
water famine, he declares,