davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29
ABatch ofSmiles

There are people. even Americans"
says Woodrow Wilson in The. New
Freedom" "who ~ move them
selves or know that anything else Is
moving" and he uses this illustration:
"A friend Of mine who had heard OF
the Florida Cracker as they call a
certain ne'er-do-well portion of the
population down there, when passing
through the state in n train. asked
some one to point out a. cracker to
, him. The man asked replied, Well.
If you see something off In the woods
that looks brown, like a stump, You
will know 1t is either a stump or a
| cracker; If it moves it is a stump"
Excuse me, madam, would you
mind walking the other way and not
passing the horse?" said an English
cabman. with exaggerated ~politeness
to the fat woman who had just paid
a minimum fare. with no fee.
Why" she inquired.
Because If e sees wot 'e's been
CARRYING for 80 little money ell ave
a fit was the freezing answer.
The house committee of a New York
club recently received this unique
complaint:
II have the honor to inform you
that / lunched at the club this after
noon and had as my. guests three gen.
tlemen, all well-known gourmets.
Among other things an omelet was
served. 1t contained only three flies.
AS an old member of the club. Jealous
of its reputation, I naturally found
this very embarrassing. as, in order to
make an equitable division of the ON
elet, 1t was necessary to either to dt-
vide a floy-a nice bit Of carving, as
you must concede-or forego Z fly
myself. / beg to suggest that In the
future, when an omelet is served for
four persons, It should either be with
(a) four flies. or (b) no fies at all"
At a dinner not long ago Thomas
w. Lawson was talking on the sub
ject Of success.
Success in finance" said Mr.. Law
son, 'is due in a great to
prompt action. The doubling. .hesitat-
ing, Hamlet type of man had best
keep out OF finance. He is quite sure
to be swamped. The street hasn't
much use for him. l had a boyhood
friend of this type. named Grimes. He
vas a falterer, a doubter, a Hamlet
Of the most exaggerated type.
"One evening I stopped to call on
him and found him In q deep study
bent over a white waistcoat lying or
q table.
".Hello. Grimes I said. What's the
trouble?'
This waistcoat,' he replied. hold.
ing the garment up to my view. TT,
too dirty to wear and not dirty enough
to send to the laundry. I don't know
what to do about it,"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

In S~tanford's den there is a picture
of a thin. simple faced fellow. Will,
straw colored hair and eyes. that must
have been a real baby blue. One
night, while we We're %lounging there,
Stanford was asked ii the portrait
had represented Il man who had re-
ally existed.
Sure thing" Stanford replied,
turning in his easy chair and watch.
ing the picture with more than friend
~ eyes. That represents a man who
was a butt but"
Pray. what is a butt but?" he was
asked.
If you wish to learn, hear ye."
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29
SATURDAY, MARCH -. 1913.
MOTOR VEHICLE REGULATION.

Motor vehicles of all kinds, by rca-
son of their use in general throughout
the country, regardless OF state lines
or locality or ownership, arc in Il sense
articles belonging to interstate com-
merce. and their regulation by the va
rious states presents some features OF
interesting complexion. Some of these
are pointed out by an eastern writer
as follows:
New Jerseys commissioner of motor
vehicles proposes a new method OF
dealing with automobiles in states
other than the one where the owners
reside and arc liccnSed-a method that
has something of ingenuity, and even
something Of plausibility as promising
to solve an admittedly rather difficult
problem. MIR. Lippencott's suggestion
is, that, besides getting a license for
his own state, the automobile owner
take out an additional license for n
other state or states he intends to Wis
it. the fee for which shall go ultimate
~ to the other state or states.
Underlying and explaining the
plan, however, is the commissioners
well-known hostility to plain recoEni-
ton by the several states of n an.
others licenses. That has been re-
Rarded as simplest and best almost
everywhere except in New Jersey,
where in official circles there persists
an obstinate belief that every foreign
.i.a,N1 10 r,o1- ,~ rcr-
tribute directly toward the maintc-
nance of the roads.
"In defense of its dislike for the free
and courteous reciprocity in the rec
ognition of licenses that prevails else
where all through this part of the
country, New Jersey presents the ex-
cuse that, while few Of its own auto
mobilists wander afar. great numbers
come from across her borders and in
fict heavy wear on the excellent roads
that attract them. This argument,
though specious, ignores the fact that
the motorists are a folk who spend
money freely for everything excep,
licenses, and that their visits are there
fore largely profitable wherever they
go to many kinds of purveyors and
tradesmen and artisans.
This phase Of the subject has never
received the attention it deserves in
New Jersey, and Commissioner Lip
pencott has apparently given it
any at all. No doubt the foreign
cars do inflict some expense on his
state for road repairs, but doubtless
too, this is much more than made up
by the money taken in by the keepers
Of inns and garages, to mention only
two classes Who exact tribute from
every motor party. The extra fee plan
would certainly and very considerably
decrease Interstate travel, and the re-
sultinx loss would fall heavily upor
New Jersey. Her roads would be spar.
ed a lot of ear but all her places
Of public entertainment would suffer
and o a few of them would have tc
close their doors for lack Of patron.
age.
"U%nalloyed reciprocity, though no
in all respects perfect. especially a!
to Identification and control. is adj
mirably simple and its workings have
been found On the whole satisfactory
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

Who dug a pair Of tunnels un.
derneath ye Hudson stream. the
while the anvil chorus knocked
"this latest crazy scheme?" Who
shoots the ginks from Jerseyland
TO Gotham in his tubes and puts
the ferry captains in q section
with the rubes? (If Hendrix Hud.
son could return and view his
namesake creek. he'd sure be sure
his thinking tank had. sprung IN
awful leak.) Who helped to bore
q tunnel underneath the q. o. r.,
that raj from the same Jersey
land to Washington, ID. c.? Who
sits In Wilson's cabinet-a threc-
star A1-hoo-the keeper Of the
nations coin? Why, William Nc.
AdoO. >.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29
What They Say
Shows His Good Sense.
Lphiladelphia Press.1

Shows His Good Sense.
philadelphia Press.1
When the president accepts a base
ball pass and refuses one to the the
alter he makes Just the kind Of selec.
ton that a healthy fan would be ex-
pected to.
Green.Eyed Monster:
(St. Louis Republic.]
Senator Burton's fond devotion to
the Ohio river fades into Indifference
compared with the Payne-Aldrich tar
if laws infatuation' for the Ohio
sheep.
Oh, Squash!
baltimore SUM-
Bump! went the Assistant Secretary
of state.
Ought to Hold Him q Year.
New York Telegram
President Wilson says he will attend
no public meeting for a year except
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

Mr.. Smith is a respectable gentle
a who. though he has been mar.
ried several Years, has not yet lost
his admiration for a pretty girl. Hav.
ing occasion to remove from his pres.
ent abode he was recently looking TO,
a suitable house and discovered ONT
to let in a quiet street. Upon ringing
the bell a piquant and lovely Irish cir,
came to the door. looking charming ii
her black dress and mob cap.
is this house TO let?' asked Mr.
Smith.
Yes"
Are you to he let with it?" he said
with a bland smile.
NO; SIR" answered the maid. de.
mureN, II am to be let-alone:"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

An unusual incident in connection
with the ecen storm disasters was
the exchange of kilograms of SYM
pathy by the mayors Of Dayton and
Omaha. The Omaha tornado was on
Sunday evening. and as soon as the
news was spread abroad the mayor of
Dayton wired an expression Of his
sympathy. Then followed the Dayton
flood. and Mayor Dahlman promptly
wired back a similar expression.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

This waistcoat,' he replied. hold
ing the garment up to my view. It's
too dirty to wear and not dirty enough
to send to the laundry. l don't know
what to do about it,"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29
the session Of the Gridiron club.
That'l probably last for another year.

He's Our Idea of the Infnitesinal.
memphis Commercial-Appeal.]
Mr.. Pankhurst Is an example of the
totalest eclipse on record. You can't
see even the rim Of his hat behind Ma
and Sylvia.
Calculated to Make r. r. Throw . Fit.
Washington Post.1
White House Regulation No. 20:
Routine official correspondence will be
calm, courteous and conclusive."
Part Of the Office Routine.
One Of the first duties of a new
president is to offer the English am
bassadorship to former President
Eliot.
We Are From Missouri.
DIR. Friedman should not decline
to show his goods. That was the fatal
mistake made by DR.. Cook.
No Wonder He Can't Find One.
President Wilson still looks to New
England for an ambassador to old
England.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

Even an apple finds it difficult to
conceal that it has been in cold stor-
age all winter, although it does bet
ter in that respect than the anti
quated egg.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-29

The Wise Guy who remarked that
honesty Is the best policy. didn't say
1t was the best paying policy. although
he might have.
The Detroit times., 1913-10-11
From Another Point of Vie.u

Schafer dispose his
worlds
The Detroit times., 1913-10-11
THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD EYES
AND GOOD TEETH TO EDUCATION

askm other and fathers
Do you know that your children good eyesight'
Do You they long sighted" "nearEghted
color hEudf
no they complain being having headache when
thy home from schools
n they disike schooi
~ sAsy sleepy trying their home aks'
Il keep up with their classs
So Ars they inclined to "plsy hookeyi"
punish od them, until hr't find out there
: Ut some physical later
Al yourself neglect injustice Of your
he latest bulletin Of the the
noted viont who boy punished frequently for fail
Sls g st hs lessons in music
rlaiahlient brought n results.
n found that the parents Of the boy should have been
4 puniAsa:
Hs school decided investigate had the the boy
/ tsstsa found that they weak
provided with and immediately improvement took
II wasnt long before getting mark Of perfect
little had such poor eyeght that he could not read letter.
ss eha inches than nix feet from him. and
VI - d been repeatedly punished BY his violin teacher for making mis-
4 tahss while taking his lessons.
yue think Of it, punished for making
n s.ls he mad. WERE THOUGHT Of course. to be from car.
tnnen and inattnton
- thousand. just such boys girl.
pls past stumbling along hating
seelded punished their teachers and paren
~ hd defect Of vision which they and their and teacher
wRs ionassnt
ens Of the law excuse to the hwreaker in court
!. lgnsranes il for neglect Of your children
my Of the blindness caused BY separation the retna
(s seeding membrane within the people who
Eaoatoa
Nazy Il children and
e1d the Of the delicate muscles the defect
ovsrtGng muscles
together headache
~ not neglect your childrens eyes!
10 not asslect your chidrens teeth
IAz employers Of labor today dentist hand in their fac
TIE treatment Of the teeth Of their employees, free
We Hsd further proof that there economic value GOOD
teoh economic loss in BAD teeth
he with teeth will produce for his employer than
tAe man with bad teeth
H WIN keep better health and the fact adds the efficiency the
b11nea organization.
IL with good teeth win produce for himself BY keeping
= 49, sTlzih and better health.
and good teeth society dependent upon
bou society always depend from the
Tt importance Of good teeth has be recognized
III part Of our school system.
1s importance Of looking after the coming citizens be
recognized long and opticians will be provided for cooperative work
- oducaton
Meantime the parents when the child
" ascertain il the trouble 9 not with his eyes,
The Detroit times., 1913-10-11

Independent
M atu interpret
0en@"
the producer O!
the oreddto'nn'no masses
hioAet aspiration Is TO deserve ana secS
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The high school boys met on
Tuesday evening last and organ.
lied q base ball and track team.
Charles O'Niell was elected gen.
eral manager, Marsh Frere cap
tain of the base ball team and
Foster Frere captain of the track
team. Practice will start i'm me-
diately, and the boys intend to
turn out two of the best teams in
this section of the State.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
Fiscal Agency Bid,

Notice is hereby given that
sealed bids will be received by tho
Board of School Directors ofthe Par.
ish of St. Mary from the banks of the
parish to act as Fsscal'Agent and De-
pository of the School funds for The
term of two We, rs. Sad bids Wilt be
opened at special meeting to bscaiA-
ed for said purpose on the 5tl daya6f
Feb. 1913, al 1870 o'clock .. MS Tho
successful bidder:to Immediately hive
a bond according to law based on ehe
average balances of the pasS ySsk3or
SIG, 10000. Address bid to. Wilson
McKerall, ST., President, Sph6ol
Board, Franklin, La. ..s~-ss
D. N. FOsTER,1,,
Secretary Of scaool Bostas,
40, NOTICE. 81. s.
I~ill apply for a pardon.
ALEX LYONS. !,
Franklin. La. Jan. 7. 1918.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The st. Mary Bank & Trust Co..
elected the folio wing stock h olders
on last Tuesday to serve for the
ensuing year: John Eisele. John
D. Bell, D. Gallery, Jr., John: M.
Gallery, J. w. Foster, William c.:
Frere, Murphy J. Foster, j. F.
Kramer, Wilson I: Peterman,
Wilson McKeralI, Louis Levy and
Wilson McKerali,'Jr.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

A Mardi Gras ball will be given
at the Opera House, and the affair
promises to be a delightful one.
In the evening a children's ball
will be given. The public is in
vited to attend, so get busy and
have your costume ready. The
ball will be given tor a worthy
cause, aud We trust it will be well
patronizad.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The Cemetery Association will
meet at the St. Mary Bank on
Saturday, Jan. 2lst, at 4 o'clock
p. m. The ladies of the town are
especially invited to attend this
meeting, as we'll as all others who
are interested in this laudable
work that is now being carried on
by the Association.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
SeryiraS at the Methodist Church.

y. Sunday School, 8 As \. m.
Morning Service, II q. m.
Epworth League Service, 100
p. NJ.
Evening Service, 1880 p. m.
The fret quarterly conference
for this year will be held Wed.
nesday night, following q sermon
by the. Presiding Elder, Rev. r.
H. Wynn. A cordial Invitation
is extended to the public to at
tend all the services of this
Church.
ETOvD VAr1cuAN Paekor
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

You'll appreciate our prices
more, the more you try to match
them elsewhere. Mcneil s 5 and
10c store.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The Ohio river has teen over
flowing It's banks to such an eX'
tent that three hundred families
were driven from their homes in
a suburban towu OF EvaneYllle,
Indiana. Latest reports are 70
the effect that the river is still
rising.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

With q bull dog under one arm
and q crate of eggs under the
other, the industrious postman is
not required to lift his cap in
saiutation as the fair mistress OF
the house comes to get her morn"
ing letters.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
Buy seed potatoes at O'Niells
and get fresh stock.

The following gentlemen from
the Third Ward are on the petit
jury for the term of court, COM
mencing Monday. Feb. 10Th:
Meesrs. Alphonse Foquier, Oscar
Borel, Charles Battarbee, j. A..
Chauvin, T. j. Foster, Chris
Markerson, Henry Migeot, Leon
ard Robichaux, Charles Frosch.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

fhs Epworth League will give
q Nth class moving picture show
&thA Jewel Theatre on Friday,
IL Mth, In tho afternoon and
u~ Admission: 10 cents fol
aau3te; 8 cents for children.
Delicious candy will be on sale.
1Ae public IL invited to come and
ZIP Z good cause.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

In another column of to.day's
issue will be found the proceedings
Z Of the Town Council and the Fl.
nance Committees report of the
Police Jury.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The Civic League will meet on
Thursday evening, Feb. let, at 3
o'clock In the court house. Those
who have not already become
member Of the League are invit-
I'd to attend this meeting and en-
roll their names.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
|. For blacksmith and wheelwrighi
work 90 to q S. BRENN'S

! Inte!lig III mn If good stand
ing smongst. farmers can acqu'rT
An Ag .cy for q new article of nn-
limited possibilities in the feTlfii~
ger line. Hign >tandard.life timr
propp-i'icu. Write giving referen-
CT - p. 0 Is 1863. Savannah. Ga.
Mr.. C,a,.nce d. Feeny, a young
pentlenan we'll known and re-
spec,a5 n. =. dis 4 in the city OF
nr.v, POI nn Saturday morning
- ~ ~. up TO the time
t =, n"d been for years a
h., ..u,' 1 employee OF the
umn.r u ID Telephone Company
,,d nru ae died he was repre-
..n..ng ms company in an i'm
porsant position in Shreveport
ne was Inan OF excellent quail
i,ies y i m.nd and heart. He was
a true friend, a coDgenial COM
panion, q worthy citizen, faithful
and true to all who trusted him.
Every one who knew Clarence
Feeny, loved ard respected him
His death is regretted and mourn
ed by many friends here. Dur
ing the summer of the year 1911
he married Miss Emma Jones!
daughter Of Capt. and Mrs. w. T.
Jones. of this city, who survives
him. The BANNER truly and sim
cerely sympathizes with his dis
consulate widow in her sorrow
and irreparable loss.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

We wish to thank those of our
Subscribers. who have, responded
terssr statements, but there are
many moro to hear from yet, ard
vt hope by next week all OF 'ur
delinquent subscribers will b.
pald I'M.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

FOUR REELS - Nick Carter
against Zigumar, at the Jewel
Theatre on Monday, Jan. 10Th.
See the great American, detective
battle with the famous crook.
Prices, 5 and 10 cents. First time
here.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

! The Jury Commissioners met
on Tuesday last for the purpose
Of drawing petit Jurors for the
week commencing Monday, Feb.
10th and I eb. nth. The list ap.
ppars In another column of to-
dhtsa isaue..ri
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

New Orleans entertained this
week the Fruit Jobbers Conven-
ton and the Southern Association
of the Associated Press and
Southern Newspaper Publishers
Association.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

We are glad to note that Mrs.
Wilson T. Peterman, who has
been sick at the st. Mary SAM.
tarium, for the past two weeks,
continues to improve.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

I, The Mayor is asking for sealed
bids on laying 1885 feet Of water.
works pipe. Bids will be received
up to 10 O'Clock .. M, Jan. 9th.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
O'Niell has eeed potatoes.

Now ia the time to plant. Get
something in the ground and
watch 1t grow. It is not only
pleasant, but profitable besides
There is nothing like a good gar!
den.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

A regular meeting of Allen
Chapter, Order Eastern Star, will
be held on next Wednesday
night, Jan. "a, at 1880 o'clock.
The members are requested to be
present.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

A good way to put a stop to
.dueIing in France would be- to
compel the combatants to use
lead bullets.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

~ home is complete without
- ,presence of q child. Tnis
Y; esure has just fallen to the lot
and Mrs. D. N. Foster, who
- rejoicing at the arrival OF a
bright baby boy at their home.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
Buggies and Surveys for sale at
IS. BRENN's.

The Parcel Post is now in full
tosce throughout the United
6eates. Any information desired
WI be cheerfully furnished by our
Qstmistress, Miss Mollie Allen.
During the frst seven days after
e Law went into effect, elk mill
uoA packages were handled.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

., To-day at the Jewel Theatre .
two reel Indian story, 1.-THE Red
NAME Heart" Another good
reel will be run. Open at 3 p. m.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
NOTICE.

The lady members of St. Mary's
Episcopal Church are requested
to meet with the Vestry of the
Church Immediately after the
services are concluded on Sunday
morning, Jan. 10, 1918.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

- The District Court, Judge Thos.
III. Milling presiding, has been in
session all the week trying cases.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

=, Unless the Unforeseen happens,
and from ill forecasts made by
parties who know. there will be
bumper crops for the year 1918.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18
Chronic Constipation Cured

give years ago had the worst case
of chronic constipation lever knew OF,
and Chamberlain Tablet cured me;
writes s. F. Fish, Brooklyn, Mich.
For sale by all dealers.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

Alexandra has adopted the
commission form Of government
by a majority of 50 votes.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

Look over our Crockery and
Grauiteware bargains. They con-
Gin values unrlva!ed anywhere
N the trade. NEIL MCNEIL 5 and
lOc store.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

Those New Jersey bandits were
not the first to threaten to "kill
Wilson," The Ball Moosers tried
10 do it their darndest.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

Commencing Tomorrow (4un.
day,) the Frisco Railroad will put
. Into effect q double daily motor
roar service on it's line from Port
Barre to Shadyside.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

The marriage of Miss Gould, OF
the Gould lines, and Mr.. Shep-
ard, Of the Missouri Pacific, is
one railroad merger that the law
can't touch.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-01-18

just received a large shipment
of fine buggies and harness at
G. S. BRENN'S,