davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
The RuIinu Passion.

Host (proudly)-And this is a mas
terpiece of Rembrandt!
Visitor-Great Scott, man! What
is that unsightly hole in the corner ?
1t spoils the whole picture.
Host-Well, you see, my wife is an
autograph collector, and she wouldn't
rest until she cut the signature cut
and pasted it in her album.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Hot ARP

The Lung-Tester Man-Nine hun
dred and seventy-two, That beats
the record, sir!
The Gentleman From Kansas
(proudly)-I jest wish we had one of
them machines to hum! I'll bet a
big apple I'd get the next nomination
for congress from our district!-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
FaVorite Fiction.

TITS So Good to Get Back to Work
Again"
Yes, Indeed; the Rougher the Lake
Is, the Better l Like IT.
1t Thundered and Lightened Inces-
sanity, but I'm Not Afraid of Light
ming"
I Dropped Business Entirely; Didn't
Do a Thing While l Was Away but
Just Rest"
Did I Catch Any Fish? Only
Few-PeThaps a Dozen or Two Black
Bass
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
USafuI

THAT idea of rubbing two pieces Of
wood together must be very useful
when you are camping"
1T isl replied the guide. I've
known it to provide occupation by the
hour for a man who otherwise would
have been all over the place making a
nuisance of himself"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
NOISY FISH DISTURB REST
Lively Suckers in Smith Meadow
Brook, Monticello, N. Y, Keep
Families Awake.

The suckers in Smith meadow
brook, near here. have begun to set
noisy again, and as a result families
living near who are nervous can't
sleep nights.
Early this spring Dewitt Olmstead
discovered the origin of mysterious
'-thum3ing" from the stream. He hid
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Hard to Locate.

81 don't think Mrs. Nuritch will find
accommodations where she wants to
go for the summer"
why not?"
"She says she longs to sojourn on
the banks of the gulf stream, Of which
she has heard SO much"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

This design shows a very smart aft
ernoon dress One of the prettiest
features is the cleverly draped sash
which encirles the waist and is knot
ted low in the back. The two tucks
in front catch the skirt up slightly,
giving just hint of drapery A tuck
er of net fills in the front of the blouse
effectively. The sleeve and body of
the blouse are cut in one. Printed
silk or crepon would be especially
pretty with this design.
The misses and small women's dress
pattern (6334) is cut in sizes IA, 16
and Is years. Medium size requires
AZ yards of A inch material
70 procure this pattern send 10 cents
to Pattern Department. OF this paper.
Write name and address plainly, and be
sure to give 'i1~ and number Of pattern
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Body and sleeves are in one in
this little frock and it may be slipped
on over the head or have a seam down
the back, as preferred The belt makes
a division at the waist line, and small
revers trim the opening of the neck.
There is a chemisette for those who
desire it. Sleeves may be full length
or shorter, and are finished with
band or an ornamental cuff
The dress pattern (6370) is cut in
sizes 2, 4, and years Medium
size requires 21a yards of Sc inch ma
terial.
To procure this pattern send 10 cents
to Pattern Department" of this paper
Write name and address plainly, and be
sure to give size and number of pattern.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
SYNOPSIS.

Gloria Kerr, a rnotheriess girl. who has
Ipent most Of her life in school, arrives
at her fathers home in Belmont. David
and is anxious to prevent his daughter
learning Of his real character Kendall.
representing the Chicago packers. is ne
g0tiating with Judge Gilbert Kerr's chief
adviser for valuable franchise. They
fear the opposition Of Joe Wright. editor
Of the reform paper. Kerr asks the as
sistance of Judge Gilbert in introducing
Gloria to Belmont society, and promises
to help him put through the packers
franchise and let him have all the graft.
Gloria meets Joe Wright at the Gilberts.
having met previously in q touring party
in Europe Gloria twits Wright on his
failure TO keep an engagement to meet
OF his mother prevented his going 10
pqris
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Tragedies Told in Headlines

The Automobile Was a Borrowed
One"
Party at Other End of Wire Was
the Mother Instead of the Daughter"
He Didn't Mind Losing the Bor-
roWed Rod-but the Fish Got Away"
"Shykes Pays His Dental Bill and
Postpones His Vacation"
"lncautious Doctor Tells Rich Pa
tient Her symptoms Are Those of
Housemaid's Knee"
He Wrote 1t Raised to the nth
Power 1t Was Printed Raised to the
Fifth Power"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
loo Prrcious

Did you punish our son for throw
ing a lump of coal at Willie Smiggs -
asked the mother.
st did" replied the busy father 81
don't care so much for the Smiggs boy,
but I can't have anybody in this family
throwing coal around like that
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Out Of Her Element.

"a classic dancer was much embar-
rassed last night"
'Impossible."
It's a fact. A pedant asked her il
she had ever read Plato"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Still Hone,

Mrs. McGinty had waited long and
patiently for her husband to come
home on Saturday night with his
weeks pay Finally she decided to
take the matter in her own hands, and
she sailed forth to the police station
to inquire if he was there.
Us my Tim here?" she asked.
NO" replied the lieutenant; but
sit down; we're expecting him every
minute "-Lippincotts.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Advance Without an Equal

It is 234 years since La Sale built
and launched the historic Griffin on
the banks of the Niagara. This little
cockIesheIl was the first boat to be
constructed on the Great Lakes by
white men, and the first to navigate
the inland seas, on it's voyage through
river and over lake. Today fully
one-third of the total tonnage of
North America is contained in the
vessels that ply among the lake ports.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

troduced in California by the cooiie
ranch hands" The 'rookeries" to
be found on every large ranch contain
simple kitchen apparatus, even where
stoves are installed. For the most
part the native kettle is the favorite
utensil.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Heard on the Wharf.

so you're going over on the steam
err Aren't you afraid you'll be sea
sick?"
Not a bit! You see I've swung
around on the straps of crowded troll
ley cars every day for years, so Pw
used to a rough voyage"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
No Foolishness About Him

WAS your husband badly ratified
when he proposed to you?"
Il tried to imagine that he was rat
tied, but something in his manner Of
proposing made me think otherwise
He simply grabbed my hand and said:
Well, old girl, is it to be Yes" or
"No."?'"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
A Circumlocuticn.

Judge-The prisoner says he assault
ed you because you called him "a nut. I"
Complainant uttered no such
word, your honor. I merely warned
him against going into the park where
the squirrels are
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Hard to Choose

''The jury has been out long time"
Yes; and ! doubt their ever reach
ing verdict. You see, the case is
one in which life insurance solicitor
is suing book agent, and 1 fancy the
jurymen are trying to figure out some
scheme for sticking them both
Judge
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
No Use,

Mrs. Exe-"If l had a husband who
drank as hard as yours I'd make him
buy plaster and stick it over his
mouth" Mrs Wye-"That wouIdn' t
do any good; he'd buy a porous plas-
ter."-Boston Evening Transcript.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
BECOMING Injured,

$50 you want to go into public life?''
asked Senator Sorghum.
Yes" replied the young man.
you must remember that you will
be criticised and ridiculed even by
your friends. Can you accustom your
self to that?"
Yes; I'm practicing now. I wear
one of those plaid coats with belt
in the back"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
His Business.

They say that surgeon is very
| rude sort Of man"
He il. I know for fact that he
would cut up the best paying patient
| he has"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Carefully Explained.

You advertise no mosquitoes,
said the summer boarder as he slapped
his cheek.
Yes" replied Farmer CorntOssel;
Eve put that in the same as some ho-
tells say no dogs meaning that they
will not be wanted"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
A PhiIanthropist

What do you ever do for your fell
low man."
Huh! There's hardly a day that
passes that l don't tell somebody or
other where a street number Is
found"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Case of Mrs. TuiIy.

Chicago, nl.-"I take pleasure in
writing to thank you for what Lydia z.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
done for me. / suffered with such aw-
full periodic pains, and had displace-
ment, and received no benefit from the
doctors. / was advised to take Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
am now as well as ever. Mrs. VIII
LIAM FULLY, 2052 Ogden Avenue,
Chicago, III.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compoundwill help you, write
to Lydia E.PinkhamMedi Co.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by woman.
and held in strict confidence.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Wisn Youth

q have a temperament" simpered
the girl. Then you are not destined
for man who is earning % plunks
week responded the young man,
reaching for his hat-Louisville Cour
Ier-Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Z -
my breath was
short and l had
chills and back
ache. l took the
pills about a year
ago and have had
no return Of the
palpitations. Am
now So years old,
able to do lots of
manual labor, am
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Missed 2 Chance

Yes sighed the pretty girl, poor
little Fido's dead, and that's why I'm
sad, you see"
But did the stupid youth make the
obvious, proper, and time honored re-
spouse, 80, NO; you're very fair,
see?"
He did not. All he said was this:
'Sadducee? Then you don't believe
in poor little Fido's resurrection"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
His Status.

"The man standing over there Is
one of the leading lights Of this pro-
duction."
is he the starr"
mo; the stage electrician"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Hubby ton shiDboard) -Great Scott!
Helen, here is c. Q. D. message ad-
dressed to US.
Wife-Distress message, addressed
to US? Who's in distress, George?
Hubby-The cat. We forgot and left
her locked up in the house when we
started on this trip.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Liquid Wit.

1 like the seltzer-bottle fun
You see upon the stage,
There's nothing quite so funny, son,
As squirted persilflage
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
The TrnIhIe

what was the trouble with the
poor woman"
I'VE thought she was in a catamose
condition, but the doctor said she was
under the influence Of aniline"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
EqQed Off,

And how did she look as SaIome7"
We'll, the audience wasn't with
her. After the first dance she looked
like a Salomelet."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

For the treatment of colds, sore throat,
etc, Deans Mentholated Cough Drops give
sure relief-5c at all good Druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
nenrees of Ambition.

Some want to lead IN time Of need
And some prefer to follow.
Some want to climb and be sublime
And SOME prrsr to wailow.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

The time you can depend upon
woman is when you are sick or In
trouble.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
important to Mothers
Net Gain.

Did your son take anything at col
lege this year?"
He did-the mumps"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

and L got nothing
that helped me IN
til l began taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's
V e g e t a bic Com
pound. / was irreg-
ular and had cramps
so bad that l had to
90 to bed. Now l
have better health
than l have had for
years and ] cannot
too highly of
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Rich Country Drifting Backwsrd

clogged the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
On. W Dispatch to New York Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
Unlike a Buuuy.

No hugging in a motor cart
The wheel is prone to yeer.
The riders always get a jar
When Cupid tries to steer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
JUDGE CURED. HEART TROUBLE

took about 6 boxes of Dodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which l had suffered for 5 years.
had dizzy spells, my ewes puffed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Our castles in the air generally in
clude an heiress.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Genius is really only eccentric
when it pays It's bills
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
WOMAN 4
GREAT SUFFERER
Tells How She Was Restored
To Health by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetao
bic Compound.

GRANVILLE, Ill-"I was a great suf-
farer of female complaints for a year
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09

Bill-'Bout ready fer tn deer sea-
son to begin, Pete?
Pete-Waal, l should say so. l got
five bucks hung up in the woods now
and party of ten city sports corning
day after tomorrow.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-10-09
10 you remember

On Tie Slde OF q neadOWeU SIOpe5
And love in our hearts, Beloved,
Love and Spring and Hope"
81 remember. We were going out
there again, but you never came back;
and so l went alone"
q wish you had taken our book" he
said. He always referred to the book
of verses as being their joint property
ssIt would have told you what 1 was not
there to say"
Gloria smiled. Never a word had
been said, but each understood
CTO BE CONTINUED
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-13
Hudson Ballot=boxes Under
Guard; May Probe Further

JEPSEY CITY Oct. 1s.-The siS
Democratic primary ballot boxes used
in this county September % have been
impounded by Prosecutor r. S. Hud-
speth for use as evidence in proceed
ing against those election boards al
legged to have violated the election
laws. either. by padding the returns or
by failing to return in the boxes the
unused ballots or the stubs of the
used ballots that the law says should
be there.
Ali of the ballot-boxes will re-
main in a room on the top floor of
the County Court House, where they
were placed last Monday and will be
placed in a steel vault in the build
ing as soon as ii can be prepared for
their reception
When the grand jury meets tomor-
row afternoon Assistant Prosecutor
James W. Mccarthy and Clerk Charles
f. Stoebing, of the County Board OF
Elections, will bring before It evidence
tending to show that fraud was per-
petrated in two other Hoboken dis
tricts limitations that there was
crooked work in a Bayonne district
may also cause the grand jury to
open the ballot-box of the district.
which was not opened during the re-
count.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-13
Fielder Says He Has No
Fear for Election Results

TRENTON, Oct. 13.-Following his
Mercer County tour. on which he was
accompanied by Frank S. Katzen-
bach, jr., Acting Governor Fielder ex-
pressed himself as well satisfied with
the outlook for his success In the
November election.
Taking uP the Hudson County
situation. Mr.. Fielder declared that
the recent bitter quarrels in Jersey
City between the two elements or
the party there are entirely local and
will not figure in any way in the
State contest.
so far as I am concerned. there
are no factions in the party in Hud-
son County, he added. The party
there is for me as a unit. The vote
at the primaries clearly demonstrated
this. and the balloting on election day
will prove it again. Former Mayor
III. Otto Wittpenn, who stepped aside
in my favor in the primary campaign
for the nomination for Governor. and
all the influence that he commands
In the party is entirely with me, and
can see nothing ahead in my own
county but rousing Democratic ma
iority for the whole ticket no matter
what the Republicans or ProgressiVes
may do there"
Going into the general situation in
State politics, Mr.. Fielder declared 1t
to be his UNQUALIFIED belief that the
battle for Governor this year is really
more in the nature of a final test
between the progressive and reaction
ary forces in New Jersey. without
strict consideration of old party lines.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-13
Herman Church Celebrates
Fifty-third Anniversary

The fifty-third anniversary of the
Second Presbyterian Church. at 1B4-
1l2 Sussex avenue, was celebrated
by members of the congregation yes
terday at special services. Rev. Fred
erick W. Hook, pastor of the church,
was in charge of the celebration.
His sermon at the morning service
was entitled. Our Anniversary.
During the services a special must
cal program was rendered under the
direction Of w. I Eichhorn, organist
and choirmaster. J. Feuerherm, who
was recently elected elder OF the
church. was installed into Office by
Pastor Hook.
An elaborate service was held in
the church in the evening. members
of the Second, Third and Forest Hill
Presbyterian Churches joining the
German congregation in the ceiebra-
ton Rev. D. ]. Wolff pastor Of
the Third German Presbyterian
Church. presided. Pastor Hook was
assisted by Rev. H. Hoots, pastor of
the Forest Hill Church.
The anniversary celebration viii be
brought to a close on Wednesday
night, when there will be a rally OF
the various societies connected with
the church. An entertainment viii
be held on that night and a recep-
ton viii follow. The meeting of the
Mems Club of the church, which was
scheduled for tonight. has been post
poned for one week
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-10-13
Many Newark Delegates at
Convention of Patent and
Enameled Leather Makers

Representatives of all the patent
and enameled FEATHER manufacturing
firms in this city are attending a
convention of the National Associa-
ton of Carriage Builders. in st.
Louis, this week.
In the party are B. w. Stratus and
Lewis Straus, of M. Straus & Sons;
James Smith, Sd. of ]. H. Halsey &
Smith, Ltd: James T. Smith, of Hugh
Smith, Inc; C. e. Henry Stengel, of
Stengel e Rothschild; william STEM
gel and Harry Stengel, of George
Stengel, Inc; Theodore E. Beck and
Herbert S. Gay, of Blanchard Bros.
& Lane; Howard Ring, of E. S. Ward
& Co., and Theodore Miller. of the
John Reilly Company.
Il. P. Howell &c Co., L. M. Smith
e. Sons, Charles Smyth Company, p.
REILLY & Son, Eclipse Tanning Com
pany, Hudson Leather Company,
Henry Lang Company, Terwiiliger
Stone Leather Company, Atlantic
Leather Company, III. +. Sommer &
Co., American Leather Manufacture
ing Company. Riordan Leather Com
pany, Bernstein Brothers, Kaafher RI
e. Co, Kelly, ~ Mclaughlin, L. Fl.
Mccormick & Sons, Inc, Nicholas
Preston, Preston Leather Company,
Pearce Brothers Leather Company,
Radel Leather Manufacturing Com
pany and Seton Leather Company
will also be represented.
The Patent and Enameled Leather
Manufacturers Association will mold
a meeting in the Board of Trade
rooms on October %.