davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
SAYS UNCLE CAV

It's mighty mean nuisance of
man that something good can't be said
for and here's a kind word for the ir-
repreSsible amateur cornet player and
a ripsaw falsetto that makes the neigh
bors wonder who let the mule loose.
These hopeless essays at harmony may
keep the old crouch next door awake
and brighten a few babies into spasms,
but for all that one should have pa
tierce- with the. authors of the out
RACES. In the long run their efforts
at music add to the sum of human
happiness and are therefore blessed.
They may be pests, but by the same
token they are radiators of good cheer
and not proper subjects for complaints
to the police or of physical reproof.
The world might be better off for moro
such noises, experts in diseases OF the
nerves to the contrary notwithstand-
ing.
For the man who lifts up his soul in
something that even family approx
mates song is the salt of the earth. In
the first place. he is of a healthy,
cheerful disposition. He may at times
be nuisance, but he isn't the kind of
nuisance that is having nervous fits
over unusual noises. His heart is more
or less in tune with the world, and 1t
isn't his fault IL he can't produce a
vocal reflection of that condition. His
smiling face ordinarily makes up for
what his voice lacks, and that four
fold.
The source of about one-third of the
grouches in the universe is in ehe
unused top of the lungs, and the rip
saw songster-and the criminal cor
netist. too. for that matter-in the
very process of annoying the neighbor-
hood pumps the oxygen in and the de-
natured embryonic grouches out. II
mere of us understood the physiologi-
cal uses of song. and their casual re-
lationship to good cheer, we'd be will
ing to take a grip on our nerves and
try It ourselves.
The man who makes cheerful
noise has no intention of being a pest.
He is obevi-lg one of the first laws of
nature which is to give vent to ones
surplus energy in some comparatively
harmless manner. Most of us have
been civilized out of that habit but it
would do us good il we'd get natural
lied" into it again. It's safety valve
force, draws us back from the danger
point of latent madness and puts us
into more perfect harmony with things
about us. 1t is at once recreation and
relaxation. And it's better to obey the
impulses of nature. though the neigh
bors call the police. than it is to quar-
rel with those neighbors, abuse ones
wife or ssaltreat the children. There
are some things worse than ambitious
but erratic vocal chords or a convuI-
siye cornet technique.-(Copyri
1913, by the Mcclure Newspaper sym
dicate.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
DAFEYDELS
BY u. NoALL.

Isn't it possible that a hen is with
out a tooth because she hobnoos with
a pullet?
(Stand back. Angelina. It's all
right for you to pet a dog. But the
lips that touch a puppy's shall never
touch mine.)
Are an elephant and a wheelbarrow
similar because neither can climb a
tree?
(CaH in the alienists. This boob is
crazy.)
Why can't a human disjoint him.
self if a .aanikin?
Worse and worse. Let's ring down
the curtain.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
AYHAWKER JOTS

II there is anything in name Miss
Bertha Lovin of Sylvan Grove must
nave multiplicity of suitors.
A story is being passed around of a
western Kansas editor, who refused to
publish the ten commandments for fear
his advertisers would take it as per-
sonal and discontinue their ads,
Some political analysis by the Clay
Center Republican,: The purpose of
the progressives is not to bring about
political millennium as much as 1T
is to keep the country in hubbub for
political purposes.
Appropriate fuel for many pipes, that
IS handed ut gratis by Miss Anna
Carlson of the Lindsborg News: Attri-
butlng mean motives to other peoples
acts is only another way of showing
tn world what kind of a peck meas
ure you use yourself.
Some observations by Uncle 81, of the
Ottawa Republic: Women who marry
Tor title probably do it for TIN name
OF 1T. A fellow naturally falls in
love when Cupid trips him up
Funny why they put buttons on fur
lined coats. They're always left open.
Having decided to move, I will on
March offer for sale at the front door
of the White House, Washington, D.
C. the following described property:
One set of golf links we'll worm one
extra IdrSe elephant Dadly used up IN
very bad company, one bull moose born
in June, extra large for his age and
in good condition; two large motor
guns that can sling mud thousand
miles a day; three socialist planks in
fine condition, a lot of broken pledges
and other articles too numerous to
mention. Ali sums of 80 cents and I'M
der cash in hand on date of sale; all
sums over 80 cents credit of four years
will be given at 40 per cent per annum.
Owners, w. H. Taft, Teddy Roosevelt.
William J. Bryan, auctioneer Wood
row Wilson, clerk."-Western Kansas
World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

II is also a noticeable fact that the
grounding has attained such a proml-
hence that the newspapers are now
printing excellent halftone likenesses
of him. And he holds the distinc-
ton of having reached his fame un-
sought. It is also safe to assume chat
the grounding doesn't care a rap
about having his pictures in the news
papers or concerning what the news
papers say about him. And in these
respects many humans would do we'll
to emulate him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
JOURNAL ENTRIES

After all the biggest asset that any
one can have is good health.
+ + j
AS rule the man who doesn't ask
favorS seldom has any thrust upon
him.
j = r
Attempting the impossible is some
times fruitful in the accomplishment
of something.
+ + +
A mans idea of real worry is to
rear that he has sent an important
letter to the wrong address.
T. 4 II
whenever a woman cannot account
for her husbands having a cold and
sore throat in any other way she al
ways says he has been smoking too
much.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
A FORTUNE FOR TIPS.

Every time the subject of tipping
comes up-and the extortion of it
forces it into view very frequently
the average American takes a firm
stand against it. Then he willis. The
next time he has a friend to dinner at
the grill room or even hands his hat
to the white-aproned girl in the cloak
room. he parts with his coin with an
air of bravado that fools everybody
but himself. And he takes consola-
ton from the fact that it is only a
trifle.
But is it? In the individual contri-
button, yes, but the sum total would
amaze him if he were methodical
enough to keep an account of such
forced contributions.
G. A. Lorenzen, a cigar salesman
kept such a statement of the tips he
gave to all the Brotherhood of the
Open Hand and the Charter Members
of the Itching Palm. He kept it for
twenty years, methodically, and it
took just fifty small note books to
carry tn erecord. He stopped trav-
cling the other day and when he put
down the last tip he added it to those
that had gone before in the score of
years of dispensing gratuities. 1t
mounted up to the small fortune of
SIS, 200 and while he was no piker in
his tips he had not been a grandstand
player, either. He gave the custom
airy amounts
Much of this went to servants at
hotels and on the railways.
IF you don't give tips said Mr..
Lorenzen, ''you are blacklisted and
find that your troubles are increased
to such an extent that you cannot
make train connections or get service
at hotels
There is much truth in what he
says and much lack of backbone as
we'll Everyone admits the extortion
of the system, everyone protests
against it, but no one has a rigid
enough spinal column to take the step
of cutting out tips alone. If he could
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

If the Greeks were as clever at SOL
diering as they are in getting-rich-
quick via the shoe-shining route, only
a handful of them would be needed
to give all the Turks in the world a
good thrashing. Two of them landed
in Hutchinson penniless only few
years ago. They got busy shining
shoes and have kept at it ever since.
The other day they paid $17.50O in
cash for building, and a little while
ago sent a draft to Greece for 81, 500
as their contribution to its war fund.
1t would seem that if the college and
high school authorities are as wise as
they should be, they will substitute
for the Greek texts now in use some
teachers and professors of real Greek
extraction who shall have charge of
the domestic economy and science
courses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
SONNET.

My little songs, If I should let you go,
In one close covey you would fly to her,
And, never doubling in your flight,
would show
That she of all the world to me is dear.
she made you, songs, and I would fain
return
Dered melodies
But still imprisoned your hearts must
burn
And fear the Turing sun. the tempting
breeze;
Q songs of ninel No word could hold
you here
Or make you turn your constant flight
aside.
Yea, I with you, also would draw
So near,
And live beside her, ever glorified,
But since no living man must ever know
My love for her, dare not let you go.
Richard Buxton, in the Academy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. !


Money talks-and It also stops talk.
Some people are too high toned to have
common sense.
The love letters of wise man and a
fool Sound much alike.
It's difficult to rattle bore; in fact you
can seldom shake him.
A bigamist, Cordelia is a man who has
more wives than judgment.
Many a gi-l who loves a man for his
money is too modest to mention it
The woman who looks before shea leans
may want to see If her hat is on straight
And many a woman is so chaneeabie
that she never wears the same complexion
twice.
If a man has any sense at all it show VS.
up before he gets engaged or after he is
married.
The world is usually willing to let man
have his own way-if he is willing to pay
literally for it,
Every time her husband consults rail-
way time table suspicious wife won
ders if there Is another woman in the
case.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

Although Mrs. Eugenia st. John is
an ordained minister, an evangelist
and a leader in the work of the Ma
tional Anti-white Slavery association,
she was practically unknown to the
general public until she saw fit to
open her mouth recently at Denver
and declare that so per cent of the
school children in the larger cities of
the United States are immoral But
the only way some people can attract
passing notice these days is to make
some such outlandish and ridiculous
statement
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
GOOD SCHOOLS COST MONEY.
ADVICE FOR FARMERS.

The question of having farm adj
wiser for every county will be neces-
sarily a divided question. Many will
oppose it and many will be for it.
However, here is one thing that en-
tiers into the question that is worthy
of consideration. 1t is probable that
if all the farmers in the county were
to attend regularly the meetings of
the farmers institutes and follow the
bulletins issued by the state agricul-
tUral college, it'would be a great help
toward having the advice without hir-
ing an adviser. The experiments made
by the state are very valuable to the
farmers and the farmers should help
themselves to it, and thereby help the
state.-Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

A former Mexican ambassador to
the United States admits that he lied
to the American government for ten
months about the situation in his ma
tive land. He says he painted rosy
pictures of the conditions, when as a
matter of fact, they were and are most
desperate. And what a successful
diplomat he would have made in the
times when the biggest and suavest
liar was considered the best one. Even
today he might have fitted in admir-
ably in certain of the diplomatic cir
cles in Europe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal fs a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
9anization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news Is received In The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole puT-
pose. t+ts..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

This much is certain. The Bull
Moose party in Brooklyn evidently
needs looking after. One of it's mem
beers has been expelled for calling an
other a liar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

Wall streets three unusually lean
wears are probably due to the increas-
ing wisdom of the general public. But
It took the outsiders a long time to
discover that gambling in stocks is
profitable only to the proprietors of
bucket shops and the Wall street
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

News from the seat of war seems
to indicate that the Balkan allies are
making the necessary arrangements
for the most elaborate and preo1pltous
Turkey trot that has ever been staged.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

For some reason or other the Tam
many tiger seems to be stunning the
Princeton tiger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

Whatever may be the effect of the
high cost of living in this country,
Colonel Goetha1s certainly is going to
make both ends meet in Panama.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

A New York woman says the best
men are not in public life. But no
man would have the temerity to say
that much about the women.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

st. Louis brags about having a man
with a wooden arm who plays base
ball. Still, there are other league
clubs that have them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

Some people will probably wonder
why it will take President-elect Will
son two weeks to write his inaugural
address if he intends to make 1t an
exceedingly brief one. But that's the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

Even if the Rockefeller foundation
of $1oO,0Oo,oO0 is never accepted, it
isn't at all likely that the money will
be spent for diamonds and steam
Yachts
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

A Canadian farmer fought off Chi
cago detectives who tried to take him
away from a gang of confidence men.
Evidently he had heard of the Chi
ca go nolica-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
FROM OTHER PENS
RAILROADS NOT FAIRGROUNDS

Casualties in local railroad wards
nave had few children as victims, but
there have been a few youngsters
MANNED while hopping cars In other
states the vital statistics report some
alarming figures in this connection.
and railroad officials have inaugurated
movement to protect the Juveniles
who have been trespassers.
The ST. Louis & San Francisco sys-
tenn has addressed to school principals
in every important town in its terri
tory a statement showing that in the
years 1901 to 1910, inclusive, los, 452 tres
passerS were killed or injured on the
railways of the United States, of which
$4,000 were under the age of IA and
10000 were between the ages of "A and
81
The principals are requested, in the
interest OF the physical welfare of their
pupils and for their educationa -alue
to read these statistics to the children.
with such comments as the principals
may see fit to make, and if possible
to post these figures in conspicuous
places.
1t is further suggested, in order to
impress upon the. children the injury
done to the communities as well as the
individual victims and their families
and the Importance and value of the
exercise of care, that the children be
requested to write essays upon Safety
First and particularly upon the dan
gers of trespassing upon railroad
property. either by walking on the
track, playing in the yards. or riding
moving trains.-Oklahoma City Okla
homan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
KANSAS cOl4AENT
WOMEN AND Jury DUTY.

Inc men who are trying to secure
law exempting women from jury
DUTY IN Kansas, have an ak of their
own TO grind. The movement is not
10 protect women from an unpleasant
outy. There are many cases in which
women are eminently better fitted to
serve as jurors than men, and it is
tne prospect Of what might happen in
lneSe very cases, should women be in
the 1ury-box, that is filling the minds
OF the promoters of the measure with
apprehension. Many times women and
cnliuren are on trial. on whose cases
a woman jury, and a woman jury only,
should be allowed to pass. And in
other instances. a mixed jury would be
more effective than one composed en-
tlrely of either men or women. Men
and women are associated in every
other relation of life, and there is no
reason why both sexes should not serve
on jury at the same time. This talk
OF protecting the women from jury
duty is foolish. and should not receive
consideration from any fair-minded OBJ
server Women are not clamoring for
jury duty. On the other hand, most
of them would prefer not to be called
to serve in this capacity. But If
woman considers it her duty to serve
on the jury, if the interests of a case
seem to require her presence, she will
be there, and she will not try to es-
cape it by flimsy excuses. Jury duty
under the system in vogue in Kansas.
is not compulsory-the writer hereof
has known men to evade it on the most
trivial excuses. And if woman
doesn't want to serve, she should have
the same privilege of finding an ex-
cuse for refusing. But to exempt her
from jury Guty-why not exempt her
from taxation ?-Emporia Gazette.
GOOD SCHOOLS COST MONEY.
Some papers com plain that it is use
less to try to satisfy the demands of
our state educational institutions. Give
them increased appropriations, they
say, and they will come back the next
year asking for twice as much. 1t is
only fair, however, to take a glance at
the astonishing increase in attendance
at these state schools from year to
year, and to notice how our best men
are being picked off by offers of bet
ter salaries elsewhere. Possibly some
money has been wasted, but let's
have a care that we do not swing to
the other extreme. Tt takes a lot of
money to maintain first class schools. |
Jewell County Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

One million dollars in gold weighs
1855 pounds. But who cares?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

s'Don't you think we have laws enough
already, SENATOR" "Oh, yes; but IL I
don't let 'em know what I'm here for I'll
never get here again. Atlanta Constitu-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

A Dilemma-Pa-So you want to MARI,
nv daughter. Are you in a position I,
support a family? Suitor-Er-how man,
of YOU are there?-London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07
GETTYSBURG.

OF course, Confederate veterans who
participate in celebrating the semi
centennial of Gettysburg will wear
their gray uniforms. Otherwise it
would be better for them to stay at
home and let the celebration resolve
itself into a campfire of the Grand
Army of the Republic. The battlefield
is a great historical document, and
there should never have been any OBJ
lection to the erection of Confederate
monuments. That objection was over
come, and so is the objection to the
appearance of gray clothes but it
never should have been made. The
celebration would lose nearly all its
significance if the ghost of sectional
ism were permitted to haunt it.-Phil-
adelDhia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-07

$50 the engineer was killed in thai
wreck eh?'' az hadn't heard that Aren't
YOU mistaken II guess not / see thai
he has been blamed for the wreck
Houston Post
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1913-08-29
Published May 10. 1919

No. 1855 A. Published May 10. 1913
CHAPTER 1877, LAWS OF 1919
AN ACT, To detach certain territory from the town
Of Lincoln in Bayfield, county. and to create the
town of Kelly.
The people of the State Of Wisconsin, represented in
Senate and Assembly. do enact as follows:
Section l. All that territory in the town OF lin
coin In the county Of Bayfield, and state of Wisconsin
described follows. to- wit: Township forty six
north range five west, Is hereby detached from the
said town Of Lincoln and is constituted and created
separate scwn to be known and designated as the
town of Kelly
section . The qualified electors Of the town Of
Kelly shall meet at the Maple Ridge schoolhouse in
section twenty said township forty-six north
range five west on the second Tuesday in May 1918:
and the qualified electors of the town of Lincoln
shall meet ut the usual polling place in said town
Of Lincoln, on the second Tuesday in May 1913 and
at each OF such meetings in each of their respective
towns IN the manner provided by law. shall elect
town officers for each of their respective towns and
the qualified electors Of each OF said towns shall have
the to do any and all things that the qualified
electors Of any duly organized town have the power
to do Notice OF such first town meeting shall be
given by the clerk Of the town of Lincoln BY posting
notice thereof In at least three public places In each
of said towns
as herein provided and the town officers required by
law elected and duly qualified. the said town Of
Kelly shall be deemed to be duly organized and shall
possess all the rights. powers and liabilities of other
towns In this state.
Section A. On the last Tuesday Of May, 1913, at
ten O'Clock a. M the town boards Of the towa Of
Lincoln and the town Of Kelly shall meet at the
office OF the town clerk Of the town Of Lincoln and
apportion the credits indebtedness and Ha>
Utilities between the towns and divide the same ae
coring to the provisions OF section 672 Of the stat
utes and the town board of the town found to b.
indebted the other shall have power to levy tan
on the town found to be indebted to pay such In
debtedness copy of such appoftionment shall he
fled with the clerks Of the OF Lincoln and the
town of Kelly -
Section 5. This act shall take eject and be IN
force from and after its passage and publication
Approved May g. 1913