New Ulm review., 1913-10-01
Z cheerful prevaricators.

Of cheerful prevaricators.
Then comes Colorado Springs and
Manitou. / wonder how on earth
the citizens Of these two places
would manage to exist if it were not
for the tourist, The arid plains and
hills Of Colorado certainly need the
verdant tourist to make the country
habitable. It would be . dreary
desert, indeed, without the golden
shskels Of those who have gathered
wealth from the fertile fields Of
Minnesota and other states and then
race Of from the most beautiful
scenery in the United States to lis
ten-after paying roundly for the
privilege Ito the deadly monotone Of
. paid guide who repeats = stereo-
typed story Of the wonderful gran
deur and majesty" Of what to me
looks like nothing on earth so much
as tho the Lord got awful mad at
the Devil-or somebody and just
smashed up the kitchen furniture to
show how mad he was. And for my
part-a house that's been turned
topsy-turvey by some one in a fury
is far from being as attractive as
are the entrancingly beautiful for
ests of northern Minnesota with the
myraids of crystal clear lakes and
waterfalls. The famed lakes of COL
orado are just puddles compared with
the vast expanses of water in our
wonderful north land. The pines here
are ugly, mishapen and dwarfed too,
lost in comparison with the giants
of our woodlands which rear their
great plumy tops 20 to 100 feet above
the hills of glorious red jasper upon
which they stand. Hills, yes, they
have hills here-and if one likes to
see dirt and rocks piled up in utter
then come to Colorado.
But for wealth of coloring and diver
sity Of view just buy a ticket to Du-
luth, Tower and International Falls,
Each of them has attractions enuf
to more than equal all I've seen in
Colorado, and they can be looked at
free while in Colorado it costs every
time you turn around for a different
view. To me it seems that big
majority of the people of these three
cities are little better than profess
sional beggars as they follow the
tourists and importune him to take
this trip or that and every building
is plastered with signs which scream
at the visitor that he must 20 here
or there or the other place and bear
the legend "Only $780," The $500
for any one trip wouldn't be so bad
if any of them by any stretch of the
imagination could equal the pictures
drawn by advertisements and drivers.
But they don't. Colors are dull, not
a single snow bank on the whole of
Pixies Peak did l see to-day. The
100000 square miles of land was
promised a sight of from the summit
could not be seen at all except thru
thick veil of soft coal smoke from the
engine that took US up. Post cards
such as we get at home for 10 cents
dozen cost us 9 cents apiece. Sup
pose it cost cent a mile to get
them up there as the distance is
something over miles. If only the
trip varied greatly it would be some
consolation-but it's the same story
repeated ad ininitum with new and
alluring names tackled on.
Not any more trips for mine. If
ever get back to beautiful, fertile,
useful, sweet, gentle Minnesota, land
Of peaceful valleys and plains, lofty
pines, red jasper and emerald green
hills, with real rivers flowing between
and lakes that are like mirrors in
heir purity gemmed with wooded
Islands and trimmed with maple and
'ak, aspen and birch, we'll, I'll just
never come back to this god-forsaken
and of sage brush flats and shame
essly bald, bare rocks unless l come
IN nightmare.
H. PAYNE