The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-10-06
n ~
J Laugh With Us I
Little Stories That Have 4
Made Many Smilea.
>~l
perverse :

Quite recently an old friend of the
Browns went to see them at their
new country home. AS he approached
the house a large dog ran out to the
gate and began barking at him
through the fence.
gate. Browns wife came to the door
and exclaimed: How do YOU do!
Come right in. Don't mind the dog"
But won't he bite:" exclaimed the
friend. not anxious to meet the ca
nine without some assurance Of his
personal safety.
That's just what l want to find
out" exclaimed Mrs. Brown. II just
bought him this morning"
This happened in Scotland: The
last edition of the newspapers had
been sold out and the newsboys were
calculating their takings. HALO"
said Jimmy in alarm. I'm a 'a'penny
short" We'll. watts the use Of 'arpin
on it?" growlei Dick. as he calmly
cracked A nut; you don't think I took
it. do you?"
Il don't say you ave. But there it
is. I'm 'a'penny short and you're
a foreigner, meeting an American
friend, said to him. How are yeu:"
The latter replied. 'Out of sight,
The man considered. this very c,er-
err. and decided to use the expression
on the next occasion. Shortly after
he was met by a friend, who asked.
How are you?" With visible pride
he answered. You don't see me-"
I'm a terror. 1 be-" announced the
new arrival in Frozen Dog to one of
the men behind the bar.
BE ye?"
Take three men to handle me once
/ get started" he went on
painfully and busted off his clothes.
"of course, if we're short-handed I
suppose two kin do it on a PINCH" -
In the vicinity of Germantown
there lived a worthy old lady and her
son John. who were once called upon
to entertain a number of ladies at dim
ner during quarterly meeting. AS
John began to carve the broiled chick
ems he entered upon a f1owery speech
Of welcome. but in the midst Of his
1attering utterances his mother, who
was somewhat deaf. .piped up from
the other end of the table: You
needn't be praisin' Of 'em up. John.
I'm afraid they're a lot Of tough old
hens, every one Of EN-"
Now. Bobby instructed the fond
maternal parent of the prodigy in vel
veteens. hound for a children's party,
t h weather looks rather threaten
ing. Here is half a dollar for you. and
If it rains come back by cab"
Two hours later it came down cats
and dogs. and Z. m. p. Cond mater
nal raranfl rofnrnaG AA1-Drt fha~Le
for her f~orethought.
But when little Bobby velveteens
returned he was wet to the skin.
Why. Bobby" cried the f. m. O.,
didn't you come back by cab. as 1
told you:"
"oh. yes. ma" answered Bobby.
"And it was simply splendid! I rode
on the box beside the driver"
A Negro had made several inefrec-
tual efforts to propose to the object
sion his courage failed him at the last
moment. After thinking the matter
over he finally decided to telephone,
which he did.
rs hat you Samantha % he inouir-
ed upon being given the proper num-
Der.
yes. it's me-" returned the lady.
viii you marry me. Samantha, ana
marry me. quick?"
Yes. I WILL" was the reply; who's
%speaking?"
A very old Irishman one day as
tonished a friend by announcing that
he was about to get married.
Married." exclaimed his friend.
IAN old man like YOU"
We'll. ye see.'' the old man explain.
ed. Its just because I'm gettin' an
ould bhoy now. IT'S a foine thing,
at. Ia have a wife nea We to close
the Eyes Of We whin ye come to the
end"
"Arrah, now. ye ould fule." ex-
claimed at. don't be SO foolish. What
do ye know about 1t: Close yer eyes,
indade. I've had a couple O. thin. an
faith. they both Of them opened
NINE"