The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-01-29
MEREDITH NICHOLSON
Copyright, 1910, by Meredith Nicholson

you tell me what you mean by running through this house in this fashion Stand up and give an account of your self''
 helped him to his feet and bent |, oyer the stair rail leading down to the third floor. Evidently our strange transactions beneath and above had not disturbed the assembled suitors and their hostess, but in common de- cency Lord Arrowood must be dis posed of promptly. There was no doubt about that.
 'I was an ass to try it,'' muttered his lordship, pulling his tie into shape. "And now want to get out. I want to go away from here.''
 : He was tugging at the belt of his Norfolk coat, and something between it and his waistcoat evidently gave him concern. Our conversation was carried on in half whispers. He was SO crest fallen that if 1t hadn't been for the necessity of maintaining silence should have laughed outright.
 "Out with it, my lord. What have you stuck in your coat?"
 "They're bounders, all the rest of 'em," he asserted dogged1y, 'sbut be heve you to be a gentleman
 '1 thank you, Lord Arrowood, for this mark of confidence. Open your coati I declare that even if you have lifted a bit of the Hollister plate will let,you go.'
 Reluctantly, shamefacedly and stin breathing hard from his late exertions, Lord Arrowood of Arrowood, Hants, England, obeyed me. There were five buttons to the close fitting jacket, and the 1oosening of every succeeding one seemed to give him pain. Then, with his head slightly lifted as though in disdain of me, he held out for my ob- servadon a pie, in the pan in which it had been baked. The top crust was Drowned to a nicety. Its edges were erimped neatly, and, in spite of the fact Chat I had so lately dined sumptuousIy at Miss Hollister's hospitable board, at sight of this alluring pastry I expert enced the sharp twinges of aroused ap- petite.
 Nov you have it, and hope you are satisfied" said Lord ArrowoOd. ''Kind1y allow me to retire by the way I came.'' L
 First I replied, sobered by the gravity of his manner, 'it would inter est me as a student of character to know just what species of pie lured yOu CO LA1S OOCOs
 CT have reason to think" he answer ed, with tears in his eyes, -'that it is a gooseberry. I was hungry, if you must know the truth, and, having sampled the old lady's pies this morning, with nothing to eat since, I saw the coal hole open and ladder beneath, and the rest of it was easy. If you and the other chap hadn't chased me all over the estate I'd been off with my pie and and no harm done. The old 1ady's insane, you know, and has no manner of use for pies. The house is haunted in the bargain. When you had about winded me down in the eel lar and cut me off from the ladder and chased me up here the ghost took a hand, and if you hadn't tripped me and sat on me the spirits would certainly have nailed me. O Lord, what a night!'
 "You are sure you speak the truth when you say that the coal hole was open and that you found the ladder there when you came?''
 t'No manner of doubt of 1t. As have already said, believe you to be gentleman, and between gentlemen certain condolences may pass that wouldn't be possible between gentle man and those cattle down there.''
 4AC JOLAOO HIS ASd0 SCOI01011y IO dicate the suitors below.
 I bowed with such dignity as is pos sible when addressing a nobleman whom you have Just caught in the act of lifting gooseberry pie from Iady's pantry-a pie which you hold perforce in your hands.
 ''The fact is that I was without the price of food, and, to repeat, was beastly hungry"
 Poverty and hunger, my lord, are pardonable sins, but gooseberry pas tries are sacred to Hezekiah. My inn pressions of Hezekiah are the pleas antest, and I cannot allow you to in- tervene between her and the pie hold in my hands. If you will accompany me below I will undertake to gain ac- cess to the pie vault, return this pie to its proper place and hand you at the foot of the ladder an apple pie in place of it. I dare say it never will be missed, but from what I know of Hezekiah any tri1ing with her appe- lite would be a crime indictabIe at common law''
 His lordship seemed treasured, and we were about to descend by the con cealed stair when he arrested me.
 'Mr. Ames, you are a gentleman and possess a generous heart. We under stand each other perfectly, and as I have every reason to believe that my suit is hopeless I ask the loan of $5 until I can confer with my friend, the British consul at New York. shall sail at once for England.''
 He stepped down before me into the dark stairway, and I closed the door after me and followed him. I found my way to the pie pantry without diff fculty, returned the gooseberry pie to its proper shelf, chose an apple pie and gave it, with a five dollar note, to Lord Arrowood.