New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-01
AS | WAS SAYING

In betimes to light our little gas range ana COOK
DIR pannikin OF intellectual breakfast 1000 lor INC
family we notice a great stiffness all throueh '"e
house -
No snores from President Wilson's room. he Is
owav az Mexico has promised not to do 1t again
iii rext time And we miss the svery music of
Mr. BRYAN lecturing in his sleep. This was rouno
too arduous ecturing and sleeping at the same tme'
so ne has taken to Chautauqua again. hoping LOT
division of labor.
Meanwhile Mr. Jerome has left us, though we
understand he will soon be back-and Harry too'
For the Canadians are becoming less VlnoictNe
Somehow news has reached them that the ReVolu-
ton and the War Of 1912 are adjourned sine de-
And how still It is outside the house! Even MS
immortal bghness Alexander Mchaovitch seems not
10 be ACCOMPANIED by the usual sounds OF dynamite,
perhaps because he looks awfuy nice CHAP ana
remarkably well preserved for Grand Duke OF
twenty -four.
We have attended the entirely new street parade
OF Dr. George L. walton's entirely new book, calm
Yourself" and greatly enjoyed the open cages:
Cage I-"Good spirits are like lost spectaces-it is
hard TO find them without them.
Cage II--"some people think they are bearing one
anothers burdens when they are only worrying about
them"
Cage Hive all know the expression mad as a
wet hem Suppose you were asked what makes men
mad YOU probably would answer. Why because she
is wet but for the real reason we must go further
back-she is mad because she insists upon being
dry"
oh enticing, Now for the stupendous aggregation
Of monster shows inside the main tent, with the
flags of all nations on top! Never such a grand,
rhilosophic circus, We conclude and are saving up
for IT.
But dear! dear. yonder comes grave Miss Agnes
Repplier in The Atlantic" looking daggers at cir
cuses and bewailing Loss OF Nerve what
with Dr. George pulling one way and Miss Agnes
pulling the other, we feel like human wishbone
For there is "A lot in what Agnes says.
Life Is real life is earnest. by Jimmy! and the
main tent with the flags top is not It's goal Guess
the age is headed for the bowl ows-and pretty
eneminate toy bow-wows at that-when We can't
tolerate education without bagpipe accompaniment
or morals without chewing gum, or science without
peanuts and when the monkeys have got right IN
among best sellers.
That way ruin lies. beloved. Work, duty, con-
science-hurray for those blamed nuisances. You
will hnd as you wade through this vale or tears
that you will want to do ten thousand things you
don't want TO do Better prepare yourselves
SO let us screw up our nerve and trot along with
Agnes-and yet-oh can't you hear tho steam cal
Hope discoursng sweet music outside the main tent7
one thing is clear, though We must be enient
with our little shavers No duties for them. no tasks
no commands no discipline. no denals. We have
seen a great light our sphere is to make the little
shavers happy" What says wizardy Woods Hutch
inson in Good Housekeeping?
obviously. the simplest and most ehectual way
Of making child happy is to let him do as he likes
AS matter OF actual, scientific fact healthy. I'M
spoiled child right in his preferences az to
food meal hours sleep play, clothing soap, truth or
convention honesty the best policy, than his con-
ventonazed parent or guardian"
Bully! We have it tried. Real estate values
dropped 60 per cent in the neighborhood 1t is true,
bu: isn't the child happy? Barring chronic appendi-
ctis, mania OF persecution, handy legs and st.
Vitus's dance, he wallows In unalloyed bliss
So do his proud parents, for he has followed Ste-
venson's maxim, THE proper training OF parents
should be begun early" Instead OF subJecting them
TO slow and painful education the precious infant
knocked them into a state OF highly contemporane-
GUS scientific lmbecy while the dawn of his career
was still rosy.
Eight million Misunderstanding OF ST. And we know
the reason Says one Of them: 81 feel that ought
not to marry till have saved up 100000 Then If
should lose my job, the income at per cent would
be enough to support two.'
sapient this; also courageous But who ever
heard of a bachelors saving 100000?
Hark voice! II was born American; I will
live an American, shall die American"
To which might answer, 'Pshaw, you don't
sayr-except that Daniel Webster Ia enjoying a
quiet little centenary and remember man
ners, shall not poke fun at the above twaddle. On
the 18th Of July 1850, Il brought down the house.
One on the house. doubtless yet A credit to Daniel
1t took oratory to gas like that. So cannot JOIN
with those who call it shameful to dig up the old
gentleman's funny speeches now times have
changed, and print them around for folks to snort
at. No, indeedy! The read the great spell
binders the more realize what magnificent, daz-
cling, stupendous chaps they must have been to "get
away with It," r. L. H.
Ncw vopk cpOM TIE eiIpunac