The Washington herald., 1913-06-06
By FRANCES SKATER.

Awhile ago some one-he gave the sig
nature, "Old Fashioned Husband was
minded to send a protest to news
paper.
And one wonders IL there are few
others who echo his grievance.
It was all about the social custom in
stituted as a practical courtesy to a
bride-to-be-the shower" And he did
not like it so very well, because, you see.
he looked upon it as savoring more OF
gentle graft than of courtesy.
He said it was natural enough for mu-
tual friends to plan little shower-fest,
with an eat-fest thrown in, for the pleas
ant sake of seeing a stream of linen,
Hood of silk stockings, or an avalanche
of other of life's small luxuries drop In
the home of the coming bride. For that.
he argued, was all by way OF wishing
her well, and, incidentally, of giving
the new matrimonial ship friendly lit
tie start.
But he drew the line when the invi-
tations spread out 10 include folk who
had the barest nodding acquaintance with
the young woman "showered. and who
met her only in the most casual way. For
back of the summons he read polite
command to be on hand with credentials
And even though the thread of friend
ship was slender, he said, there were not
many who had the temerity to refuse
to respond suitably and as well as their
purses would possibly permit. Men might
be brave enough. but women never.
Rank Imposition.
And this "Old Fashioned Husband de-
clared that quite likely in families where
plenty reigned, these invitations were
Just a small part of the social game
and made only a pleasant diversion; but
he seemed to know what he was talking
about when he said there were others
k1.~ 80 E~aR ion
If il CHANGED to be a silk stocking
shower, ones offering must be able to
hold its own with the rest, and the pur-
chase pulled hard on the family purse,
which had TO supply few other needs
but the silk must not be of inferior
quality. no matter what small pruning
was involved. And so far he could
make out. the showers generally fell up
on those who had aplenty. while the poor
folk to whom they would prove verl-
table blessing were seldom enough favor
ed for their part was to help insure a
beautiful downpour.
He referred to the custom OF giving
engagement presents and denounced the
whole thing as "a rank imposition" And,
believe me, in closing, he slipped in few
pretty emphatic and somewhat inelegant
words.
One rather hesitates to endorse his
views. because-well, because.
But the fact is, II is hard TO look with
very tolerant eyes upon any social Gus
tom which tacitly bears the tag, "a
present. if you please"
Plainly, it becomes burdensome sooner
or later; and when gift making assumes
that aspect, it is high time TO set 1t
aside. Spontaneity is all that gives II
grace. and when that is gone, nothing is
left but a cold social obligation.
Engagement presents, wedding gifts,
intervening showers, and later anniver-
saries When one has thought upon
them for a while one must stretch her
imagination a bit to view them in
sentimental light, because, except among
folk who do not need to count their PEN
mics or their dollars, the practical pushes
so hard that sentiment sometimes is
overwhelmed in the tax.
For there are more than a few odd
fashioned husbands and others who
have not a great deal of leeway for
showers and the like
Custom should Be Broken.
And one often wonders that wealthy
folk, when they marry and when they
celebrate their anniversaries, do not
quietly make IL known that they consider
il the part of good taste to break up the
old custom of bearing gifts 1t origi-
mated, so We are told, in the desire to
set up for housekeeping young folk
who had not the wherewithal to make
q start. And it has been carried along,
with numerous outgrowths here and
there. until il has assumed unbeautiful
and oftimes burdensome proportions.
1t may be said that that throws a very
sordid shadow over pretty custom,
long in the growing. Possibly; but the
''asides" one hears, the protests and the
signs of dismay lead to the conclusion
that it is not the critics who are at fault,
but the custom itself.
When the first. the tenth. or the fftieth
wedding anniversary rolls around, ii is
mighty pretty, if all's well, to extend
hospitality to friends and to celebrate in
festive way the beginning of life to
gether.
But in spite of the custom that war