davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
Many good man is married to his
boss
Some women Will believe anything
that Is unbelievable
But the man who sings his own
praise seldom gets curtain call.
Suspicion usually finds what it is
looking for if it looks long enough.
Only fool girl believes that every
unmarried man she meets is looking
for a wife,
Many a mans success is due to his
ability to obtain five by adding two
and two together.
People are always willing to do their
duty-if they are allowed to determine
what their duty is
BY the way, how many men of your
acquaintance let their religion inter-
fefe with their business?
Who will wash dishes in the future
for all the girls who are learning to
play the piano and paint china?
When woman accidentally forecasts
shower an hour in advance she thinks
the government ought to give her job
in the weather bureau.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
HIGHLY EDUCATED.
FINED BOTH THE TWINS

From the New York American.
A wise magistrate in Philadelphia has
fined both of pair of twins-young men
for flirting in Fairmont park, a breathing
place. pair of civic lungs on either side
of the Schuylkill which Philadelphia in
sists shall be healthful in every way.
Complaints came that young man, ac-
curately described, was ogling and smil-
ing at the modest maidens who grace and
adorn the park
A policeman was dispatched to catch the
f1irt. He caught two twins, as much alike
as peas in a pod, as the right and left of
a pair of gloves or the legs of the trous-
ers they wore. The only thing that in
terdistinguished the twins was that one
wore white socks. the other lavender
socks The thoughtless might suppose
that the greater suspicion of being a fiirt
attached to him of the lavender socks.
But the learned judge fined both twins
and made certain that the guilty should
not escape.N Besides, it must have ap-
peared to the upright magistrate that two
born together, with the same face and
figure, must have the same vanity the
same belief in their powers of fascination.
In word, that both were guilty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

vegetables, including asparagus. cooked
fruit, pudding or souffle or sponge cake
with fruit sauce. Bihner water.
to 5 o'clock-Cup of coffee with milk.
Z to o'cloclS-Plaln omdeIte or eggs,
or macaroni, spinach or asparagus. or
stewed lettuce, stewed fruit, bread. but
ter. cream cheese. Biliner water
CigarsOne after each meal.
And the doctor means this. Your choice
of the above, but nothing else.
One old Philadelphia gentleman had at
the bottom of his list, zone cigar a
day" Three days later when his doctor
asked him how he was progressing. Inc
said. Finely. DOCTOR but that ci gan
makes me a little sick
The doctor naturally thought he hhad
been accustomed to a half dozen cigars
a day. Instead he had been a teetotaler.
y y y
Besides ones diet and water there arc
the baths, massage and all sorts or cleo
tric and gymnastic treatment wheice your
exercise is given you on all con eeivable
kinds of apparatus operated by electric
motors. You even ride machine horses
The mud baths are in tubs of hot, black
odorless mud in which you perspire and
swell up for some 20 minutes fter which
you get showered and rubbed and leave
feeling like a large and red boiled sau-
sage.
But of morning! Everyone having re-
tired by 9fo'clock, at a. m. all the world
is astir about the springs in their best
morning costumes and bearing a handled
glass tumbler or cup. They form in line
like at the old postoffice. to march VI
for their water. The spiudel spring /.
hot and squirts up 10 fleet In the all
like fountain. Girls In rubber coats
and bearing a long ban6ooo rod, with e
receptacle on the far end to hold youl
glass. catch the water fca- you as it spray.
downward There are always hundred.
in line and often you are 20 minutes II
getting to the fountain for your turn.
y * y
After drinking you pspair to a bakery
select your brand of, bread. and get 6
couple of thin slices. of Carlsbad ham,
when allowed-all CT which is put in O
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
No Ragtime Players

The music lovers who listen to
Memolis band in Capitol park every
night and on Sundays remark the ex-
cellence of the ensemble" said an old
critic.
Birmingham cannot be too proud of
this band Memoli plays much light and
diverting music but no ragtime.
And why should he not cut out
'rag% A few people call for 1t, but 1t
is safe to assume that SO per cent of
the public who give any attention to
music would protest If the band struck
up a ragtime piece"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
A LITTLE LONGER

BY Adelaide A. Proctor
A little longer yet-a little longer,
Shall violets bloom for thee and sweet
birds sing;
And the lime branches where the winds
are blowing,
Shall murmur the sweet promise of
Spring.
A little longer yet-a little longer,
Thou shall behold the quiet of the morn
While tender grasses and awakening fiow-
Send up a golden mist to greet the dawni
A little longer yet-a little longer,
The tenderness of twilight shall be thine,
The rosy clouds that float DER dying day
light,
Nor fade till trembling stars begin to
shine.
A little longer yet-a little longer
Shall starry night be beautiful for thee;
And the cold moon shall look through the
blue silence,
Flooding her silver path upon the sea.
A little longer yet-a little longer
Life shall be thine; life with its power to
will:
Life with it's strength to bear, to love- to
Bringing its thousand joys thy heart to
fill.
A little longer yet-a little longer,
The voices thou hast loved shall charm
thine ear,
And thy true heart, that now beats quick
to- hear them,
A little longer yet shall hold them dear.
A little longer yet-joy while thou mayest:
Love and rejoice. for time has nausht in
store;
And soon the darkness of the grave shall
bid thee
Love and rejoice and feel and know ro
more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
"rHE HoHENzoLLERN LUcKv
|, London Chronicle.

From the London Chronicle.
Does the Kaiser ascribe any part OF
the prosperity of his reign to the possess
sion of the 'Hohenzollern 1uck?" The
luck,' a plain gold ring with a black
stone, first appears in history when Fred
erick the Great received it from his dying
father with note declaring that SO long
as it remained in the family the race
would prosper. Legend affirms that one
day. centuries before, when Hohenzol-
lern princess was about to be confined, a
large frog hoped on the bed and dropped
the ring from its mouth. The "luck" was
stolen from Frederick William IL by his
mistress, the Countess Lichenau, in 1870;
hence it is said, the Prussian disasters
Of the next few years. 1t was recovered
in 1918, just before the great war of lib
GRAFTON, which re-establshed the fortunes
of the Hohenzollerns.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
The Iron Market

"At last it can be said that the pie
iron market is active and strong once
more said a furnace company Off
cial.
Birmingham iron is in demand and
the market is firm at $11 on a No.
basis.
THE price of Birmingham pig metal
will reach $l2 for No. before Christ
mas, probably before Thanksgiving.
The man who made the remarks quoted
is one of the best known in the Bir-
mirgham district. He is a salesman sec
ond to none and is noted for his prophetic
vision Other men in the furnace bust
ness expect to see $12 iron on a No :
basis by the middle of September.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
" ARLsBAD. AUSTRIA. July.-A
. queer place this Carlsbad.

~ ARLSBAD, AUSTRIA. July.-A
- queer place this Carlsbad.
I have been through five weeks
of the cure. How It's done has been in
teresting to me in its novelty and the
story of the life here may be to Age
Herald readers.
Some two hundred thousand people
come here every summer for "the cure"
They bring their best clothes. and wear
them in the wooded promenades and
shaded streets framed with the daintiest
and most attractive shops on the CONT
nent. Everything pretty. pert and costly
made in Europe and the Orient is on
sale here. and one may feast his eyes
and frappe his pocketbook to his hearts
content
| And. in this connection, a pocketbook
cohapses with more rapidity here than
chunk of Ice under a Selma sun. The
cure season is short and everybody of
Carlsbad wants money quickly and fast.
They are taking it from our own Birming-
ham John Kaul even faster than he made
it when First National bank stock
climbed up SO rapidly.
But while you must pay the fiddler the
music is good and there IS full value of
health and strength coming to you for
every outgoing dollar. I was limping
around like an old cart horse when
left home. and now can jump a ten
rail fence.
y y y
Now. how you do i'll In the first place
you stagger when the hotel clerk tells
you the price Of your. room, and turn
pale when he announces you must take
it for four weeks or not at all.
Then you seek the best doctor. He
thumps you, quizzes you. asks you all
manner of pointed and impertinent aues-
tions and tells you in few weeks he
will send you on your way rejoicing; but,
you must carry out his directions to the
letter or you can't play with him. These
he writes down something like this
7;3O a. m.-Two glasses sprudel water.
, :S0-Breakfast. coffee with milk and
sugar, kralxie bread, butter, honey, two
eggs.
| o'elock-Any kind of well done lean
gravy, or sauce; plenty of cooked green
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
Gen. John w. A. Sanford

Within a week Alabama has
mourned at the biers of five of its
most noble sons. The reaper's harvest
has been bountiful. Joseph F. John
ston, statesman and business man;
William Wallace Screws, editor; Mil
ton Paul LeGrand, banker; John v
Smith, legislator, and John w. A.
Sanford, lawer, comprise the list.
They were of the states bravest and
best. Each can i'll be spared.
General Sanford of Montgomery
was the oldest to answer the final
summons. And "adsum" he pro-
nounced with the gentle courage he
had ever shown throughout his life.
General Sanford hardly was of the
present generation. Many men promi-
nent today in all lines of worthy en-
deavor were yet unborn when Sanford
was battling for the state he loved
in war and in peace. He was a gentle
man of the old school. He saw his
duty and he did it to the best Of his
ability. Polished, courtly, able, up
right, he attracted and retained the
love and respect of all who knew him.
Twice in the long ago he was elected
attorney general, and often was hon
ored by his people by their votes for
other offices.
A long and noble life has been end
ed. But his memory will endure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
A CALL DOWN

From the New York Telegram.
Senator James Ham Lewis says he
has noted that "as very general rule.
the material instinct was stronger in
women than in men," Jimmy, you come
right indoors this minute The ideal
You'll know more about those things
when you're older
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

ton to submit to insults which it
would never brook from its peer.
Those who are so loudly clamoring
for war should pause and consider the
cost. The minority party in Congress
is not acting patriotically in the pres
ent crisis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

RULES OF CONDUCT.
Never speak of homely womans face
as a mug" Merely say it reminds you
of last weeks wash
Always give up your seat to woman
in a trolley car. She may not thank you.
but your conscience will approve of what
you have, done. Try to look unconcerned
In themeanwhile.
II a woman starts to pass around you
to the fright and then changes to the left
stand quite still until she decides which
way she wants to go.
Never let woman see you staring at
her slit skirt That isn't what you will
want to look at, any way.
In lifting your hat to member of the
fair sex 1t is permissible to raise 1t only
a quarter of an inch from your head, if
you have very conspicuous bald spot
HIGHLY EDUCATED.
What has become of the old fashioned
woman who almost tainted at the idea of
drinking a bottle of beer in cafe?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Business Active

In local circles trade may be quiet
but in the country at large wholesale
business is picking up and is becoming
very active" said c. F. Tunstall OF
Philadelphia.
THE fall trade will be unusually
brisk. AT least that is the way it looks
now. Prosperity will be in evidente un-
til Christmas and after. ] believe pros
perity will reach a new high record
within the next IL months"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
EXAGGERATED EGO.

Il dare say, that nearly all men have
at some time in their lives their great
moments"
mo doubt, but am truly sorry for
the men who think they have great mo-
ments, when they are merely obsessed
with an erroneous idea of their own i'm
portance."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
MAYBE IT HURTS HIM.

You haven't any grievance against
Griggs, have your"
"oh, none in particular, except that he
always does me favor with panied
expression"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
nE TWO EvILS

From the Youths Companion.
The little boy in this story from Touche
a Tout was evidently firm believer in the
old adage, ''Of two evils, choose the less. "
Turning corner at full speed he collided
with the minister.
where are you running to. my little
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

King George is reported to be carrying
on mild Irritation of strictly platonic
character with beautiful duchess. We
await developments.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

That offer of Texas democrats to raise
$4,000 for Mr.. Bryan If he would stay off
the lecture platform looks like a solar
plexus blow at the commoner's self-es-
TEEN.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

1t would appear that Charlie Gates is
trying to establish himself as the original
of that "opulent ass that William Dean
Howells tells about.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

large and successful experience in mnnici-
pal government. He was a sane, business
like, fearless mayor for two terms
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

This has been an exceptionally hot sum-
mer, but in this valley one compensation
is there have been few mosquitoes and
few house flies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
ALABAMA PRESS

Greenville Living Truth: Greenville
has no turkey trotters, but a little
later in the season when persimmons
get ripe, look out for the possum lope.
Andalusia Star: A Baltimore rat
captured bird a few days since John
Wallace should make a note of this.
Gadsden Journel: Now If, Cipriano
Castro just lived In Alabama, he would
find politics interesting enough to take
all thoughts of revolution out of his
head
Eufaula Citizen: We hope that the
people of Alabama will be so convinced
of the need of reform in the present
state convict system in the next few
months that the question will go before
the legislature at the 1915 session and
require settlement then--in. the just
way, the humane way. The bill intro
duced by Senator Moulthrop of this
city abolishing the present lease sys-
tenn, passed the senate at the last ses-
sion. but those against whose interests
| it operated succeeded in having 1t held
up until the last minute conference, so
that it never reached the house. Ac-
cording to present indications, senti
ment against the lease system will be
! SO thoroughly crystalized within the
next year that there will be nc dilly-
dallying again when the legislature
meets.
Tuscaloosa News: Anna Held with
her $4,000 pair of stockings still hasn't
anything in the way of attraction on
the dancers of the barefoot school.
| Admission Star and Hot Blast: Boston
laddie who wore green silk socks and
slit trousers got his shins kicked by
| the newsboys. Pity the suffragettes
don't raise up a few newsgirls to raise
| a kick occasionally.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
PARADoxIcAL.

"Gowper says he's tired of the world.o
That's because he's been taking the
rest cure all his life"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Queen Mary doesn't like the divided
skirt. Some people say Queen Mary dis
likes a great many more things than she
likes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

man?" asked the minister. when he had
regained his breath.
Home" painted the boy. Mas going
to spank me-"
"What!' gasped the astonished minis
ter. Are you eager to have your mother
spank you that you run home so fast?'
NO., shouted the boy over his shoulder
as he resumed his homeward flight. but il
l don't get there before pa, he'll do it!''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
l,e)-63oaeo-
s..s....s.......s........s...s

"she knows now that there are more
than hundred different kinds of cock
tails"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Bridges Smith wants to be mayor of Ma.
con again. It's gotten to be habit will
Bridges.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Rockefeller, at 70. proclaims that he is
still boy. But he wouldn't try to prove
it by eating a few dozen green apples
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

People who stand around in hot weather
discussing ontology, theology. and kindred
subjects ought to have the hose turned
on them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
The River Melons Are Here

They are here at lasti Those long,
green, luscious watermelons from the
banks of the Coosa and the fertile bot
toms of the Cahaba," said an enthusi-
astic lover of melons.
II was much interested In watching
three or four well dressed negroes fol-
low the wagon to make purchases Now,
you can buy cheaper melons, but not
such rich. red, ripe, sugary ones as those
very often in the shipped melons The
uniform size of the melons is one of the
characteristics of the river bottom prod
duet; either about two. feet long and
about 1S inches around. or else hattened
at the ends and weighing about 25 to
30 pounds, with very dark green rind
The meat is always red and sometimes
the seed are a pale yellow, but gem
orally are black
Il proved my faith by acts. I found
slices on sale at a fruit sand and I
Immediately proceeded to dig into one.
There is nothing more delicious these
hot summer days. nothing healthier, than
nice cold, ripe watermelon, and in GER
tain ailments they act as mild tonic
stimulant. 1t Is we'll known that water
melon seed makes a tea that will re-
lfeve the agony of certain ailments quick
er than any other one thing. This I
know from experience"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
NO NEED TO WORRY.

Suppose England, Germany and Japan
should refuse to take part in the Panama
exposition?'
"oh. dare say the management seoul
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

WISHING FOR WINTER.
[ can not sing the skies of blue,
The blooms that line sweet country
ways.
And shady trees and cattle, too,
And birds that warble roundelays.
I can not sing the joyous brook,
Whose wat'ry tribes disport in Glee;
I simply can not bear to look =
On scenes that used to gladden. me.
| can not sing the whispering dell
Where l was wont to read and dream.
Where radiant fancies used to dwell
And the world was bathed in a far-off
CLEAN.
I can not sing as once I did,
And maybe this is the reason why;
| long for the time when Love lies hid
From hurtling blast and snow-fecked
sky,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
THE DARK DAYS.

you know the poet says, Into each
life some rain must fall 4"
Il feel that he spoke the truth every
time somebody's young hopeful begins to
recite for my benefit. Little Drops Of
Water
PATTI csooL-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Governor Sulzer wishes now, no doubt,
that he hadn't tried to get rich by the
stock market route
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

The lemon theratens to supplant the
melon as the favorite fruit of the express
companies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

The Portuguese capital is reported quiet
Well. It's a long time between earth
qual1es.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
ABSURD.

'Diggs is very fond of using high
sounding phrases"
Eyes. He speaks of his inability to
raise car fare as a fiscal problem
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

This is still summer, but we will have
cooler days and nights from now on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
THE FIRST suPFRAGETTE

Sen. Castro should have consulted rex
Sen. Bailey before trying to come back.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
AN EVIDENCE OF GENIUS.

AN EVIDENCE OF GENIUS.
"I have here" said the poet, IAN apos-
trophe TO August"
"You have, eh?" queried the editor.
Let me see it. Anybody who can wax
poetic over August must be chock-full of
divine afflatus."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

get plenty of good midway shows with
out their help
NOT P.DOM ENOUGH.
square meal ne'er
Was dislaed up yet
In what Is known
AS a kit6henette.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Interesting Phases of Criminal Trial
The Mary Phagan case in Atlanta, with
Leo Frank the pencil factory superin-
tendent, on trial for murder. has many
very interesting phases" said student
of criminology.
1T seems, beyond the pale of at least
common sense If not modern legal prac-
tice, that the negro Conley, the principal
witness for the prosecution, should have
been put through near 13h hours of gruel-
ling cross examination by the defense with
about two hours occupied by the prosecu-
tion. in all 15h hours Now, l have read
every line of the cross examination and
the trial published; have read everything
obtainable on the celebrated Crippen case
in England, and the evidence in many
murder trials. And then 1 have read
Wellman's Art of Cross Examination,
and now I have come to the conclusion
that there must be some changes in the
latitude allowed lawyers in this country
not alone as to browbeating witnesses. but
the imposition upon the patience of the
Jurors The growth of mob law will be
with the liberty allowed lawyers. Here in
tuiS Sldle We nave Il cause CeleDTe, Wnefe-
in able judges and four juries, have con-
victed a man of murder and the thing is
to be gone all over again. We need to
adopt some such changes as will permit
the Judge to ask witnesses plain, direct
questions as to facts, so as to get them
unmixed. and not disjointed, before the
jury.
81 was interested in the testimony of
DR.. Harris on the matter of the digestion
of cabbage. 1t seems that in the matter
of time, as to just when the little girl
reached the factory and when she was
murdered has gotten down to a question
of minutes, SO that DIR. Harris. after a
practical chemical test and comparative
analysis, arrived at the definite opinion
that she was killed not over As minutes
after eating her midday lunch of cabbage
and biscuit; her mother prepared a SINH
lar dish for DR.. Harris tests.
"It is highly interesting to note some
OF the swift witnesses for the defense
and then to see them tangled in the snares
of the prosecuting attorney. And how
wonderfully accurate some witnesses are
as to the minutes in street car schedules,
and the different phases of the clockl
Indeed. this is a strange world. and in a
criminal trial there are things not
dreamed of in the easy going life of the
law abiding busy citizen"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Andalusia Star: A Baltimore rat
captured bird few days since. John
Wallace should make a note of this
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Greenville Living Truth: Greenville
has no turkey trotters, but a little
later in the season when persimmons
get ripe, look out for the possum lope
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting All
departments), NO. 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

Entered at the birmingham AIa.,
,osfoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-10

PAUL COOK.