davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
The Rinkses Can't Kick,

The teacher is endeavoring to ex-
plain to her class of youngsters some
of the so-called laws governing supply
and demand.
And. now, Johnnie Binks, will IL
lustrate. Often, no doubt, you have
heard your father complain of the
high cost of living, haven't you?'
NO, ma'am, l haven't. Pa dassent.
Pas a middleman and says if our fam
lily knows what's good We'll keep our
mouths shut
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Must BE Reckless.

Women like a brave man." re-
marked the first chappie.
That's right" assented the other
chappie. "a fellers got to be reckless
where women are concerned. If a girl
offers you kiss, wade right in. Don't
stop to ascertain If her lips have been
steriliZed."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Salesmanship.

I'm afraid these shoes will not be
big enough for me- said the lady
customer, after she had with much
difficulty and considerable help sue
ceeded in getting sne of them on.
But see how nicely they show off
your beautiful arched instep." said
the clerk
'Ah. 1t feels perfectly comfortable
now. You may send them out,
please"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
SOLON AVOIDS LONG SESSION
Representative Henry Desiring to End
Meeting Tells Story That Stops
Mans Long Speech.

wan Long SPSCCH.
Representative Henry, at political
meeting in Waco, desiring to draw
rather protracted session to a close.
when a man rose and said pompous-
ly:
II wish to offer a few remarks,
and these 1 will subdivide into IL
heads"
But here Mr. Henry, his eyes twink
ling, interrupted.
Gentlemen" he said, "let me tell
you a story. A man was lurching
home very late the other evening,
much the worse for a bachelors sup
per or something Of that sort He
came to a clock tower, and paused and
looked up at the Illuminated dial to
see the time. AS he did SO, the clock
began to strike One-two-three-
four-the inebriate listened, counting
the strokes carefully, and when, at
last, II sounded, he said, as he pre-
pared to stagger on again:
"'Durn you-hic-why couldn't you
have said that all at once?'"
Amid loud laughter Mr.. Henry sat
down, and the pompous man made
much shorter speech than he had in
tended.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Rara Avis.

"a likeable fellow, Wigley. Every
body seems to have a good word for
him. What do you suppose is the Sc
cret charm about him that attracts
sou
"Oh, dunno. Maybe it's because
he's one of the common people and
is always 80 modest about it,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
EIIx1R RARnK A GOOD TONIC


And Drives Malaria out of the System.
Your 'Babek' acts like magic; have
given it to numerous people in my par
ish who were suffering with chills. ma
laria and fever I recommend 1t to those
who are sufferers and in need of good
tonic"-Rev S. Szymanowski. ST.
Stephens Church. Perth Amboy N. ].
Elixir Babek SO cents. all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from kloczew-
ski & Co. Washington. D. c.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
A Vanished Shrine,

What of your trip abroad?"
MY wife was deeply disappointed
in one thing. She visited Shake
speare's home all right"
"Well?"
But she also wanted to pay visit
to the tub of Diogenes."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
a Rush Day-

Had a terrible rush day at the Of
fee" said the man who is always
overworked.
What was the natter"
"Oh, all sorts of things. Four book
agents, two or three friends from out
of town, two men to fix the electric
wiring, two more to hang awnings, and
any number of other details. l had
hard work to get away in time to see
the ball game"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
He Settled.

Really" said Charley Cashgo to
his tailor, Il feel that l owe you"
You do" interrupted the tailor.
"An apology for having kept you
waiting for your money SO long. So
thought l would drop around and pay
you
Thanks"
and pay you the apology. Good
day"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
HIDDEN.

she has a beautiful complexion
hasn't she?"
81 don't know; I have never seen
her without her makeup"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Eats EN- Alive.

81 understand it takes four years of
education to prepare lion for circus
life," said the visitor to the trainer
standing beside the lions cage.
Yes, that is true" replied the
trainer.
You must get very tired after four
years."
ooh, 1 haven't been training this
one four years. 1 am the eight hun
dred and forty-second trainer they've
tried ON this one. I've only been here
two hours,"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Turn About,

"Mr. Wombat." said the boss, you
have been getting off to go to the
baseball good deal lately
Il know it, sir"
Then would you mind working at
the office for a few extra innings to-
night?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Good Fellow.

Father Visiting at college)-"My
son, these are better cigars than l can
afford" Son-"Thats all right, IA
Their; take all you want; this is on
me."-Yale Record.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
1t Seldom happens.

1t doesn't often happen that = wom-
an can increase her husbands esteem
or retain his love by reminding him
daily Of sacrifices she made to be-
come his wife.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Ii Needs REVISING,

Nothing is much more aggravating
than a rhubarb pie. If it can be
handled comfortably it isn't good, and
II it is fit to eat 1t Is sloppy
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Enund the Point.

A teacher told one of her boys that
the next time he wrote composition
there must be some point to it. The
subject of his next disQuisition was
Needles"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
For SIMMER HEADACHES

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy
no matter what causes them-whether
from the heat. sitting in draushts. fever
fish condition, etc. 10c., Csc and SOC per
bottle at medicine stores. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
The Sprinu DELUXE,

why do you avoid your friends Of
late, old man? Anything gone wrong?"
mo; but about this time of year
everybody you know wants to sell
you a ticket for something or other"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Middle AGE Mortality.

Insurance men are noting an In
creasing middle-age mortality. In
this country it has increased 20 per
cent in thirty years. In England it
has been very much less.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Middle Ace Mortality.

Insurance men are noting an in
creasing middle-age mortality. In
this country it has increased 20 pei
cent in thirty years. In England 1t
has been very much less.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Increasjnn fhA TroubIe-

Patience-I had an awful dream
about that tantalizing little boy next
door
Patrice-What was 1t?
Patience-I dreamed he was twins.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
pors yoyrR HEAD ACHEY

Try Hicks CAPUDINE. It's liquid-pIeas
ant to take-enects acknowledgement to preve MT
| Sick Headaches and Nervous Headaches also.
| Your money back If not satisfied. 10c., 25c. and
| SOC. at medicine storeE- Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
He Knew What He Meant,

We were visiting a cousin whose
small boy was very fond of the des-
serts served. After finishing his din
ner he waited for time and then
said: Mamma, is there any last
thing?"-Chicago Tribune.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

The United States has 1853 glass fac
tories and the value Of the product is
SIS, $4,000.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Doubt.

Barker-"Congratulate me, old man!
My best girl has just accepted ME
over the telephone!" Candidus-"Are
you sure she understood what you
were saying?"-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Mako thu Milk Juo Sweet.

To sweeten milk jug, scald it with
boiling water, then fill with cold water
and add a teaspoonful Of salt and
leave it for five minutes before empty.
ing 1t.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Close Acquaintance.

Aren't you interested in aviation?"
More interested than ever. I have
studied and experimental till know
so much about it that l don't feel JUS
titled in taking any more chances as
a birdman."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

When girls are not busy picking hus-
bands they are busy picking quarrels
with those who are.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

The mint is limited in its material
for making money, but a trust can
make money out Of any old thing.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

In fine health now. If ever have those
troubles again will take Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. - Mrs.
ED. FERRoN, BIG High St., Chippewa
Falls, Wisconsin.
Providence, r. I.-"I cannot speak
too highly of Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound as it has done won
ders for me and I would not be without
it. I had organic displacement and
bearing down pains and backache and
was thoroughly run down when I took
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. It helped me and am in the
best Of health at present. Iwork in
factory all day long besides doing my
homework SO you can see what it has
done for me. I give you permission to
publish my name and speak of your
Vegetable Compound to many of my
friends. Mrs. ABRIL LAWSON, 128.
Lippitt St., Providence. R. l.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

aKIHg TTITIgS dS ITTeJ OUTTEe'
The man who is satisfied to take
things as they come is not likely to
be kept very busy taking them.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
ALMOST LOST.

I'm afraid"
said the publish
er, your novel
won't have much
of a sale"
81 can't see why
it shouldn't" re-
piled the author.
well, if you in
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Cut Down,

Husbands that pitcher really cut
glass?
Wife-Well, 1 got it at a bargain
sale.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Centuries a G o
Job asked the
question, How
can a man be just
with God?" In all
ages the moral
sense of mankind
has been raising
the same ques-
ton. Many an
swers have been
given:
1. The heather
answered it In
this way: Make
an offering to the
gods sufficient to
compenSate f o r
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Seventy per cent. of the gold in
civilized mans possession is in the
form of coin.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Their StvIe

1.-THE gems of literature are in this
library"
"I see most of them are uncut
gems"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Didn't Touch Her.

II understand young Dobble asked
for the hand of Munibags' daughter"
ANY results?"
None, so far as Miss Munibags is
concerned"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Difficult Part.

Getting into debt is a good deal like
falling into well. The principal diff.
Guilty is encountered in getting out
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

The greatest drawback to the pur
suit of wealth is that wealth always
seems to get it's second wind.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

An international corporation, capt.
talized at s1OO,0O0,OOO, is forming in
London to exploit Brazil's coal de-
posits.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

David Worthlew, age ninety, of Sun
bury, Pa, is being sued for desertion
by his wife, aged eighty.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Whats the matter, Miss Dallins-
TOM" asked the village wag. You
never laugh at any of my jokes"
Il have been taught never to laugh
at the old and deorepit."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Appropriate Loss.

THE farmer who came in with me
this morning lost all his money on a
shell game"
did he?"
Eyes, and it was his wife's egg
money, too"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Most Appropriate,

What color is best for an aviation
gown"
'Skyblue, of course"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Provided,

DO you believe children ought to
be handled with gloves?"
Yes, if they're kid gloves"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

A wise man has his hand on the
door knob when opportunity knocks.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Faith.

BY our own faith we can only move
mountains, by the faith that others put
in us, we may move the world.-Sarah
Grand.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Mrs.. winslow-a Soothing Syrup for Children
testhing, sofsens the gums, reduces inf1amma-
don allAys pain cures wind collie, Csc bottle.As
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Every dog may have his day, but he
is a wise canine who knows when.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
The Location.

How that house Of Plungers
stands out"
Yes; you see, he built 1t on a
bluff
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Sometimes a man is so shiftless
that he isn't even a successful liar.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

If you take your boy to see the pro-
cession don't blame him for wanting
to &C to the circus.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

There are 100000 teachers in Ger
many, only $4,000 being women. The
salaries are from $500 to $3.50 year.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Some men manage to leap into fame
by being always on the jump.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

Most of the entries in the human
race are also-rans.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

The man who doesn't get all that's
coming to him is generally lucky.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
THE cocA-coLA COMPANY, ATLANTA, GA.

The honesty of one man is often
good policy-for others.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

There is nothing like faith in God
for changing a dark prospect into
bright one.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
THIS WOMAN
HAD MUCH PAIN
when STANDING
Tells How Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound made
Her a Well Woman.
Chippewa Falls, Visit have ale
ways had great confidence in Lydia E.

Z LQhudIIl 3 VeSea-
BILE Compound as I
found it very good
for organic troubles
a nd recommend it
highly. I had dis
placement, ba ok
q c e and pains
when standing on
my feet for any
length of time, when
I began to take the
medicine, but ] am
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

The under dog wants sympathy
what he wants is assistance.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

EAp GAZE Near Chicago farm: 400 acres rich
sVH 0r1E black soil; new buildings: fenced;
$50 per Cory Farms Co., - 8 La Sale Chicago
IhRIEC learn secret of womanly beauty and
LADILO charm. Write today for secret. Send no
money. Henry Schlater, Philipsburg, Penn
DEBTS COLLECTED EVFRYWHERE-No
Charge unless successful Est, 10 years incorpora-
ted 1893 JOHN w0LFRUH, Mgr 8l1 Barrier Bidg 1oletW
bsERuE! Oils The Red White and Blue Wheel heel
WFsu hkSVS National Lucky PALM vial
Free descriptive booklet II. Z. Wheeler, Barton,Ft
AHrETS German Silver key checks. name and
AuEli . address Csc. Sample with your name
and address postpaid l5c W. p Dobson Caremore Okla
ECEMTG New patents specially. Every house
AUAi< = must have; Soc for samples with
innuiry No humbug Loenner Co, "a DOan ECieVeando
BLEACH YOUR SKIN Amon ana g ets Sso eEea
PAUI-ETTE Co, 1870 n St. Butte q, Washington no
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
Save the Babies.

MORTALITY ghfu We hardly realize that
of all the children born civilized per cen
than onstd before they are i've and oefofe
they are fifteen :. c...-:. u..u,a ,.u.
nfane deaths ocoaone the use OF
less morphine They in considerable sead
sickness death Casora operates exactly the reverse n9s
OF Chas H. CaH
causes 20 circulate properly, opens the IF
of the skin and alays fever. 4" N(N4-N
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

His Satanic majesty offers women
diamond tiaras instead of halos.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
How Shall a Sinner
Get Right With
Godo
By REV. HOWARD w. POPE
Superintendent Of Men
Moody Bible Institute Chicago

TEXT-"How can man be just with
God?" Job 81
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
CoMEroCALIFORNIA

and LIVE where life is worth living. Sunshine and
flowers all the year round; cyclones mild winter
rains. A complete irrigation system assures bumper
crops. Cut crops of hay yearly and cure 1t in bright
$500 per This land has better soil for rrga
ton than adjoining districts and sells for So to
e225 per acre Write and let me know your wants. /
am here to serve you. ANDREW KERN, EsCALOn, CALF.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

AGENTS. live proposition for a hive man
or woman. Cooperating with us will net you
Zig income. Only one agent in each COM
munity. Write quick or you may lose your
chance. Costs nothing to get particulars.
Address THE SOULATONE COMPANY. 2629
East Allegheny Ave, Philadelphia. Pa.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES

@ 0ae a~ e ssh and hn
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-06-27

gems. "
The Coconino sun., 1913-10-03
Kansas City Market Letter
(By J. A. Rickart, Correspondent)

(By J. A. Rickart, Correspondent)
 Kansas City Stock Yards, Sept. 2o, 1913. Killers filled larger or ders for cattle last week, and the buying for the country was on a bigger scale than ever, buyers from Iowa, Illinois and other heavy buying States being aug mented by Kansas and Missouri men, who bought stock cattle for wheat grazing, and other rough ness that has become available since the rains. Prices closed the week as high as any time this summer or fall on practically all kinds of cattle. The supply to- day is 2Sooo head, and aside from some weakness on corn fed steers everything is selling steady, stock cattle and feeders stronger. Ninety percent of the cattle are steers, divided between the corn teds, a very large percentage of pam handles and more Colorados than any previous day this season. Prime steers might reach So. 25. though the tops to-day stopped around So.oo, heifers at the same figure. Kansas pasture cattle sold at the highest prices of the season last week, and sales to-day are close to steady, at $6.6o to S8.5o. Extreme scarcity of the stuff here caused decline on that kind at Chicago last week, to be disregarded today, canners selling up to s4.5o, and heavy COWS at S7. Horned Colorados sold at S7.oo to $7. 50, odd COWS S5.25 to $500, calves S7.oo to SIo.oo.
 Stock steers range from $. 50 to S7.5 and toppy feeders brought S7.6o today, fieshy feeders, S8.25. Seventy cars quarantines came in today, the steers included being common grassers of light weights, which sell at $5.75 to S6.5o, and mixed punches. Hogs are selling much better since the middle of last week, account of increased in- terest on the part of packers ;. Outside order buyers continue ag- gresSive, taking 24 per cent of the total hog supply last week, which is very strong feature here. Re- ceipts today, 8ooo, market 5 high CT, top S8.65, bulk $S.25 to S8.6o. Sheep and lambs are 10 higher to- day, following strong markets all last week, receipts 1900 head.
 Utah lambs sold largely at S7. .oo to Sz.25, natives at $6. 50 to s7.25. Account of short supplies of range lambs last week natives advanced sharply. Feeding lambs sell read lily at s6,25 to $6.5o, the supply inadquate, fat ewes $3. 50 to S4 .6o, including light weights, yearlings S5.oo to S5.75.
The Coconino sun., 1913-10-03
ADVENTIST CHURCH

Sabbath School Service at 2p. m. Preach ing at 3 p. m. Prayer meeting Wednesday evenings at 30. Preaching service every Sun day evening at 730.. Everybody welcome.