New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-11-05
THE TALK OF THE DAY.
Hail 10 the chief!

ON the campaign Of 1896" said Congressman
from the West "a horse thief in wyoming was SEN
fenced to be hanged. a large crowd had assemp'u
10 take in the event After adjusting the moose ue
Sheriff said: Now Bob. II there's anything you
want TO say the custom is TO allow you ten minutes
70 get IT off, The prisoner shook his head. ! don't
want 70 saw nothing he answered Get along with
the hangn'.' Before the Sheriff could proceed WIN
the business Of the day a young man in the crowd
ohio was running for the state Legislature jumped
Nd Hold on he shouted, so long as the prisoner
6ort want 10 talk I'd like take that ten minutes
TO tell the crowd why this country needs free Sill
YER"
"Departrnent stores can sell anything Tho gov
eminent was going to scrap lot Of old cavalry
sabres at two cents pound as JUNK.
"Wel?" =.
"a department store took the lot and ran 'em of
at So apiece decorations for dens' -flttspurBh
Post.
The broherliness Of Ossning's seven druggists was
revealed TO New Yorker sojournng there last sun
day When he got " Sunday noon he felt that
glass of bromo-seltzer was the thing needed to put
the world right, and set out TO find drug store
The first one he came to bore the sign the door:
No - street IL the drug store open to-day"
Not getting the idea, he passed on, found another
shop and discovered the same sign on its door AS
surfing himself he was seeing double he asked to
be directed TO the open store. There ne got the
needed potion and the explanation together we
have a club" said the druggist, Ito which all seven
druggists in town belong We agreed to take turns
keeping open on Sunday. This gives six OF US
day off, and each has to work only every seventh
Sunday. The plan applies to holidays"
nature"
I'm not surprised at that Nature will let you do
all the talking, and that makes an awful hit with
her."-Washngton Herald.
nervous matron upbraidng her negro maid
end the servant remained silent. This exasperated
the mistress, who shouted.
MANDY, why don't you say something? Why do
you keep quet?"
"'Cause missy" replied Mandy. meekly, ut takes
two to make fight an 1t amt propah fob ladies to
fight"
Mr.. Pester-Ah, well truth is stranger than fiction.
Mrs Pester-very much stranger l seldom II ever
encounter 1t in my home.-Chicago News.
young man who had come to this country from
German manufacturing town TO close business
transaction and whose mission was accomplished so
quickly that he sailed for Hamburg In less than a
week after his arrival in New York, was asked at
one Of the German clubs what had impressed him
most In New York. The great traffic In two direc-
TONS he said, 1.-THE high buildings, we'll dressed
men and women and the easy way in which people
spend money. l had chance to the sights Of
which l had heard before l sailed for America"
After q moments hesitation he continued Il must
not forget your cocktail and the crowds which saw
In the streets where baseball published
They were both wonderful"
II can't understand" his wife complained. why
you should wish to run for Congress. You haven't
any special qualifications for that of life and
think of the worry IL will bring The newspapers
will crcise you and you will always have to be ex
planning why you voted for this or didn't vote for
that, and you will never dare again to say your soul
is your own"
81 know my dear, but think of the income I will
get by lecturng If succeed in getting into office and
become mixed up in bribery or a lobbying scan
daL"-Chicago Record Herald