El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-04-23

Here's what a California preacher
thinks is necessary:
The ideal woman for wife" he
says, should have the voice of Melba;
the talent of Paderewski; the figure
of Venus. the grace OF sylph; lnS
vivacity Of a cOryphee- eyes ike the
soft glow Of a mOOnHt eve. an ala
basteT complexion; the virtues of
nun. the charm OF Cleopatra; the
meekness of Moses; the patience OF
JoD; the IorPeaIslLlc5 o. I1,t -, " ~, ~
zeal of a Trojan the eonslancy OF
Caesars wife. the capabilities or
charwOman; the purse of Hetty Green
That's some order for wife, isn't
I il, and If men waited to find such a
paragon before committing matrlmOnE
/ the old bach crop would be a record
| OF course. as Mrs. Harris would say.
! there amt no SIGH person, but II
Z there were no man IN the world would
want her As it is, there is no other
/ earthly afflicCOn worse than having
! TO live with even superior woman,
| ferings would be OF poor man tied
/ TO wife who was nothing but
/ bunch OF PROJECTIONS
Continuous Performances Barred.
] It's all very well and highly enjoy
/ able to go to the opera and hear Melba
| MARBLE occasionally, or to listen 10
| Paderewski perform every two OF three
/ years, or 10 muse upon the tasclna-
| lions of Cleopatra or to rubber at
| some peach with an alabaster com
] pleXiOu as she passes you on the street
/ Likewise there are times when every
! man could wish on to his wife the
1 meekness Of Noses and the patience OF
| Job, and the silence OF the tomb, but
| no man wants a continuous perIor-
! nance Of any Of these prize charms
/ and virtues.
I There must be times when Mr.. Melba
/ feels that If Mrs. Melba utters another
I squawk he Will choke her, and when
! Mrs PadereWski has to sit on her
I hands TO keep from Selling an axe ana
I splitting the piano into kindling wood,
/ and it's a matter of history that Cleo
4 patra's various husbands were 1aSci-
/ mated TO death. Also there are times
/ and seasons when a man wants his
( wife TO answer him back, and not sit
/ up with that patient, sanctified, Tor
} giving air that makes him want 10
, throw something in her direction.
No. The one best bet is that II this
! preachers ideal could be lncarnated
! she would be an old maid NO man,
| i'm the first place would have the cour-
J age to ask such a wonder creature to
{ marry him. Nor would he want to He
! would know that he would look like the
/ great original human shrimp and PIN
/ head by the side Of such queen, and
! il would be far from him to institute
/ such a comparison
! miratiOn that he would always have 10
/ be in appeal to him. There are rev
! things that set on a man nerves
! quicker. than to have to keep up a
| continuous performance OF giving the
J glad hand to a woman, especially one
/ who is a mere wife. On the contrary,
/ the thing that makes a real hit with
I the masculine persuasion IS Tor the
! process to be reversed, and for women
/ to lead the applause that celebrates
/ their achievements.
J Hubby has a well developed, affinity
/ for the spotlight himself. and WHEY
J gets into it at her peril The best
1 loved wives are not those who occupy
/ the pedestal in their own homes. but
I those who are discreet enough TO ele-
/ vate husband to the throne, and who
[ industriOusly employ themselves by
: burning incense before him.
| And that's perfectly natural and hu-
! man. 1t is so much more soothing and
! agreeable to be admired than IL is 70
/ be called on to admire that the attitude