The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-23

all. He was onery cuss with a wife
about twice as big as he was, and she
was some voylent as TO temper. When
she turned that disposition Of hers loose
the children got under the bed and the
game all left the woods. The most prom
in his dread Of anything like work lie
SAID II was bad luck to labor on Friday
and any other day of the week was too
close 10 Friday for mucuar activity
1T was reported TO the boys that Wat
had been beating up his wife with long
handled shovel. Investigation showed
that the evidence was slightly agin Wat
and consequently the boys notified him
that as soon as the rush of planting corn
was over, and they had time, they would
hang him. At that particular time we
wasn't well acquainted with Misses Peter
sons inammatory outbreaks-all we
took notice of was the long handled shoV-
el and the smell of arnca When we
got Wat under tree with a convenient
limb and the rope around his neck he
loosened the rope with one hand and
Holding his pantaloons with the other. he
said: Gents, l amt used to public
spealSin, but you are about to make "A
serious break. A month ago, when | told
that Misses Peterson to go and grease
the wagon, She told me to grease it my
self. When She went up the hollow after
lightwood knots 1t was my coat that
shielded her While | sat In the lonely
cabin through the long hours | let her
have the fun Of currying the mule and
planting the garden, while ! watched the
Sky to warn her in case of sudden
snowstorln.
4 could mention many instances Of
my unselhshness, such as when she uses
my smoking tobacco, and kicks my back
bone into my hat, when | haven't done
nothing TO her, and | don't dast apbraid
her. Death is a going to be a sweet relief.
and I am here to thank YOU fellows for
your kindness. ! go. but leave in your
midst a skittish and able bodied widow
that will make you fellows wish you had
never been born bequeath her to this
community, and those of you who lost
your all during the last cyclone and had
mumps. yellow fever, the itch. and the
tax collector with you at the same time
win find that you were enjoying a glori-
Gus aleujah as compared to the calami-
ty | am saving off on you in the person
of Widow Peterson
"The day will come when you will look
back upon this awful occasion and wish
that / was alive again; but it will lie
everlastingly too late Widow Peter
son will be giving aurora borealis exhibi-
tions of female temper the like OF
which has never been seen since the
downfall of the Roman empire. and a
NHDlt ipA VI NOd lfiIoNs. Wltiln SOUnU
Of her bazod, will wish you was I'm hell.
pumping thunder at cents per clap. But
il will be too late. | will be far away.
My soul will be in the land where
domestic voylence and cold feet can
never enter. Bury me at the foot of
Bald mountain. where the festive skunk
and the striped Lizard can gambol DER
my owly grave.
When Wat had finished hurried e.-
ference was held among the neck = ~ 4
mittee. and it was hastily dA that
they had been little previous Ni rush
ing into the hallowed presence Of homr
life. and assuming to subvert household
discipline. and so they made up q little
purse TO buy another long handled shovel
for Watkins Peterson and sent him again
to the bosom Of his family"