The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-11
No Births in Our Midst !
Why Is This Thus?

once more we are ashamed to say
that we go to press without being able
to chronickle emmy births in our midst.
Of course a calf was horned to a
COW belonging to John Hemingway
at the lower end of Bingville. but how
much does a calf increase the human
populashion of Bingville, we ask None
at all, we answer.
If we don't look out here in Bing-
vile Hardscrabble will soon have more
populashion than we have! Only last
wk the Hardscrabble Banner chronic
kled three berths in that town and
crowed a good cal over it too and
pointed the finger of skorn at Bing-
vile becuz there amt been berth in
our midst for nearly a month.
The worst of it is this charge is
true Have we as enterprising citti-
zens of Bingville lost all pride in our
town? Do we want to wake up some
morning and find that the pusilanimous
town of Hardscrabble has more inhabi-
tants than we have? This is not a
condishion but theory which con-
fronts us and we ort to do somethink
about it.
We can remember few yrs ago
that the Buggle never went to press
without reporting at least one birth
and sometimes twins or triplets. In
them days Bingville's populashion
crowd by leaps and bounds, but for the
past VI the mortality rate has exseeded
the birth rate. Shame on you not to
take emmy more interest in your home
town than that Why if this race sui
eide keeps tip at the present rate there
wont be nobuddy in Bingville a tall.
Bingville will deteroriate into obnox-
shious oblivion wherever that is and
become no more forever.
LATER-Last night about l a. m.
this morning, Alb Gookins woked up
Doc Livermore, our horse veterinary &
human speshialist, and told Doc that
he would like him to hurry over to his
house without delay, being as his wife
was under the weather. Then Alb hur-
ried home
Doc wasseht much surprised, being
as he had been expecting a call from
this quarter for wk or two. Doc was
turrible sleepy and thort he would take
he got up, and as a result Alb come
back two hours later and summond
Doc again, who responded very prompt
this time.
Along lords daylight Doc called
down from the head of the stairs and
says: Come up here a minnit, Abb"
Alb he went UP, and when he stepped
into the room and seen two babies
layin on the bed he says "Ding-bust
these specks, ennyhow-I pear to see
bubble through emf
mo you don't" says Doc, "becuz
they is two of 'em." Two babies '
gasps Alb, in conservatism. Yes"
says Doc; two girls. Alb, and I CON
gratchulate you," says Doc, holdin out
his hand to Alb.
mo, sir says Alb, purity short and
Il won't take no congratchula- |
shions on that. You kin sympythise |
with me eff you desire, but don't con-
graduate me unless you desire to git |
Kicked down the stairs and outen the |
housed Wot in Sam Hill do 1 want |
IF two at time, espeshially girls. My |
'akes, why I've got six girls now. If |
hey was boys l could make farm hands |
outen 'en; cuss SIGH luck, ennyhow ("
Then Alb dumped down the stairs |
mad as wet hen. Doc says he'll haft |
o charge Alb bubble fee for his per-
'eshional services, but Alb says all he'll |
,ay for is one, and Doc can either take |
hat or let it alone
Unless you want to have Whence did |
o your person, don't congratulate
Alb next time you meet him on the
street