The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-12-02
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NOTICE: When the Office cub wants
to write for this colyum. he should
NOT litter up the desk with forbidden
topics. He should write something
anent the gentle spring. and run a
gamblers chance Of saying later: II
wrote that paragraf."
Out in Laws Awnga1ees. an orchestra
leader Jumped his job in violent French
because they put on movies" during
the fntermission.. He may be out OF q
VIII run across a sufficient number OF
antt-movie fans to buy his drinks.
OF cawse there Is no connection-none
whatevah,-BUT when one reads the
Hearst papers (words or pictures). one
GATHERS the impression that: the
girl who goes in for professional swim
ming, usually has a tolerably fair pair
of them.
To convey a deadly insult, some use
an axe and others use a smile. The
smilers cheat the defendant in the en-
suing murder trial.
Everybody roasts the scandal-starter.
The scandal-starter would not be So
cial menace unless he had an able Sec
ond to his motion. A mad dog wouldn't
be much of a public pest If he were
shorn Of the power to transmit his
virus. The show would be over as soon
as he San into the first shotgun. Scan
dal has wrecked nations-not because
the scandal-pedd1er started it, but he
cause gang of simps kept it in cir
culation.
Mr.. Wilson read the message himself.
He could have hired Dwight Harris to
read 1T for -, and saved all that ia
tigue. Which goes to show that Mr..
Wilson is one of those cash conserva-
tfonists who would slip the hired man
two bits and tell him to run over to
the corner store and get SIX good
cigars.
HERE'S TO THE MEMORY OF MIR.
CRUMMER: Gentleman and fdealist.
One time he bet that he could make
a Grimes Golden out of q ounce, and
lost the bet. 1t made him none the less
a lovable gentleman, and he died an
idealist-still believing In the human
race.
Bilious Allius White has issued an
other statement. He says that, to a
more or less considerable extent. party
lines are reforming. That, coming
from Hon. Bilious Allius, is, to a mora
or less considerable extent. a more OF
less considerable statement.
And, although he no longer writes
rhymeful headlines for Bilious Ailius
at ten beans per week, the reference to
Bilious Allius reminds us of Hon.
Walt Mason. Hon. Walt cuts loose in
reference to the seller of food stuffs.
He writes feelingly anent the grocer
and certain alleged mouldy figs. OF
course. writing a poem each day, he
runs out Of original stun and has to
fall back upon classics. HOWEVER:
We feel that, in his f1gful. prunefu1
poem of recent date, he overstepped
poetic license by frisking the volumes
OF the late Mr.. Chaucer, who observed:
"Our grocer Jake solde us a steake,-
= Ye sayme was on We frytze:
Twas over-ripe, and toughe as trype
But coste us seven byttes."
Eft cetera.
The ancient poets had the same trou-
BILE with them. You can't write a roast
on the dispenser Of eats without COM
uniting plagiarism. 1t is suspected thet
Chaucer. got his bunch from some OF
the obsolete paragraphs Homer wrote
for the Athenfan Tombstone. the lead
ing daily Of his period. Abraham
knocked on the groceries. There is nc
record extant, but it is q safe bet Adam
was not fully satisfied with the grade
of sausage and bottled olives that came
to his table. Even the idea Of knock
ing the grocer is plagiarism.