davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
POTENTATES AMUSE LONDON

When a foreign potentate or royalty of minor
rank visits London for the first time, clerk from
the foreign office is usually detailed by the gov
eminent to "show him round or, in official Ian
guage, to act the potentates visiting attache'
/ have acted on several occasions officially
guide counselor, and friend to a number of minor
foreign royal personages, and when doing so have
had some rather amusing experiences
acted as attache to Prince Lidj Eyassau, Of
the Abyssinian royal family, when he came 10
London some years ago He rather awk-
ward sort of person to have to take charge Of,
He had habit when he went into shop Of pick
ing up things to look at and if they did not take
his fancy, of dropping them to the ground in
the most lordly and disdainful manner.
On one occasion went into dealers shop
in Bond street, where he took up old Dresden
vase and after looking at it critically for a few
minutes threw it to the ground. l made frantic
but unavailing effort to catch it. The prince had
subsequently to pay $500 to the dealer for the
vase.
Another gentleman had the honor Of escorting
about London for couple of weeks was the Sui
tan OF Oran. went with him to a dinner party
night given at of the embassies All
went well until the end of the dinner when, the
ambassador and his wife rose from the table.
The chief guest then suddenly hit the table a
resoundng blow with his fist and shouted out
something in his native tongue while his eyes ap-
peared to blaze with anger he glared first at
his host and hostess and then at their guests.
No one seemedto know quite what to do.
Then, in low undertone the sultan explained
to me in French he endeavoring to thank his
host for his hospitality and the incident ended
happily.
Occasionally minor foreign potentates who come
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Constant Menace to Public Health.

The National Association for the
Study and Prevention of tuberculosis
estimates that there are over million
consumptives in the United States, Of
whom probably at least one-third are
unable to provide for themselves the
necessary treatment at home. Most
of these cases are a menace to the
health of their families and associates,
and should be in special hospitals. At
the present time, however, even if
every case we're known, it would not
be possible to provide accommodations
for more than one in eight Or ten. The
removal of these foci of infection de-
mands more and better hospital and
sanatorium provision.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

here neglect to make proper arrangements about
having money advised to them from their native
country to London, and, a result, find them
selves In considerable financial embarrassment
when they get here.
Some years ago a prince of the reigning family
of a minor European state arrived In, London for
a short visit without penny.
The attache, however who commissioned
10 look after him, brought pawnbroker to the
hotel where the prince staying who advanced
$1,000 on the princes jewels which lasted the
prince until he obtained money from his own
country, fortunately only few days later.
One of the most amusing incidents l remember
IN connection with my experiences visiting
attache was when l took the then crown prince
of Siam to great society bazaar. The prince
evidently did not understand. though I tried to
explain to him. that the ladies selling at the ba-
zaar were persons of high rank.
few minutes after he entered the bazaar sew
eral great ladies approached him, asking him to
buy some Of their One of these was a
duchess Tell these women to kneel when they
address me, he said to me in broken French The
ladies, who understood him, promptly did So and
succeeded in taking about C 50 off the prince be-
fore they rose. Nothing earth could, how
ever. convince the crown prince of the high rank
of the saleswomen.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
ECZEMA SPREAD OVER BODY

Roxbury, Ohio.-"When my little boy
was two weeks old he began breaking
out on his cheeks. The eczema began
just with pimples and they seemed to
itch so badly he would scratch his
face and cause a matter to run.
Wherever that matter would touch it
would cause another pimple until it
spread all over his body. 1t caused
Disagreement while it lasted He had
fifteen places on one arm and his
head had several. The deepest places
on his cheeks were as large as a sill
yer dollar on each side. He was SO
restless at night we had to put nit
tens on him to keep him from scratch
ing them with his finger nails. If he
got a little too warm at night it
seemed TO hurt badly.
We tried a treatment and he didn't
get any better. He had the eczema
about three weeks when we began
using Cuticura Soap and Ointment
bathed him at night with the Cuticura
Soap and spread the Cuticura Oint-
ment on and the eczema left"
tSigned) Mrs. John White, Mar. 10,
1913.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
tree, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card ''Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Fiohtino Pneumatic plaque

Every precaution is being taken TO
wipe out the pnemonic plague which
is reported to have found its way into
Loimme, southern Shan States, from
China. Unfortunately Loimme hap
pens to be the headquarters Of over
FIVE hundred officers and men Of the
military police, but precautions are be-
ing taken and it seems as if the dis
ease has been wiped out-for the time
being, at any rate. The Shan States,
with the opening of the railway, will
probably become very much more i'm
portant from a commercial point of
view than they are now, and, as they
contain at least one desirable health
resort, it would be a pity If plague
were to obtain foothold there now.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
AN OLD NURSE
Persuaded Doctor to Drink Postum

An old faithful nurse and an exper-
fenced doctor, are pretty strong COM
bination in favor of Postum, instead
of tea and coffee.
The doctor said:
i began 10 drink Postum five years
$50 on the advice of an old nurse.
During an unusually busy winter,
between coffee, tea and overwork, l
became a victim of insomnia. In a
month after beginning Postum, in
place of tea and coffee, l could eat
anything and sleep as soundly as a
baby.
In three months had gained TWEEN
y pounds in weight. l now use Pos
tum altogether instead of tea and cof-
fee; even at bedtime with a soda
cracker or some other tasty biscuit.
Having a little tendency to Diabe-
les, used a small quantity of sacchar-
inc instead of sugar, to sweeten with
! may add that today tea or coffee are
never present in our house and very
many patients, on my advice, have
adopted Postum as their regular bev-
erage.
In conclusion can assure anyone
that, as refreshing, nourishing and
nerve-strengthening beverage, there is
nothing equal to Postum"
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Greek. Mich. Write for booklet, The
Road TO Wellville."
Postum comes in two forms.
Regular tmust be boiled).
Instant Postum doesn't require boil
ing but is prepared instantly by stir
ring level teaspoonfuI in an ordinary
cup of hot water. which makes it right
for most persons.
A big cup requires more and some
people who like strong things put in q
heaping spoonful and temper it with a
large supply of cream
Experiment until you know the
amount that pleases your palate and
have it served that way in the future
There's a Reason" for Postum.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
SqueIchino an Upstart.

Lincoln always took part in politi-
cal campaigns in Illinois. and, being
very popular. was often the target at
whirs. the opposition fired their shots
In one campaign he was frequently an
noyed by a young man who thought he
was some orator" At Springfield the
young man became so offensive that
Lincoln stopped in his speech and turn
ed on his tornentor:
Il don't object" said he, Ito being
interrupted by sensible questions, but
my noisy friend does not always ask
that kind He reminds me of a seam
boat that used to run on the Illinois
river It's boiler was just big enough
to push the boat along, but it had
an enormous whistle attached and
every time the whistle blew the boat
stopped"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

sidered the dynamite in the days
task and proceeded to swallow and
prepare the stick for future cud chew
ing. The Mortified workmen arrived
on the scene just as ten of the sticks
had disappeared. They grabbed the
remaining two and fed. The cows
were watched by thes angry and appre-
hensive owner for quite a time, but
nothing exploded.
The hen swallowed something that
made it cape and open and shut its
eyes a dozen times a second She was
a fine breed of hen and the owner
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
What hey Had.

Some of the boys in camp back OF
Alexandria. Va, went TO town. i'm
bibed too freely. kicked up a row and
landed in the provost's clutches. That
functionary asked one what he had at
the saloon
-Four glasses of beer" was the re,
ply.
Next
Two glasses Of whisky"
Next ?"
One glass OF brandy"
Next ."
II fight"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

so numerous that We became, in a
certain sad sense, hardened to them
not really hardened, but SO 1t seemed.
Our mood seemed almost like the
Chinaman's.
"A Chinaman, you know, was en-
pioyed as a cook in Los Angeles at the
time when the Yellow river food cgz-
rIed of its thousands. The mans
master hurried to tell him OF the ca
lamity, thinking it would oYerwhelm
him; but the cooks only comment WIS.,
the calm and practical one:
Plentee Cinnamon left
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

ages range from eleven to seventeen
years, and a Tibetan army officer and
his wife. The travellers are attired in
their native costumes, but have adopt
ed the English shoes. finding them
more comfortable for travel than those
of Tibet.
The boys will attend school at Alder
shot, England. None of the party ever
travelled before. They always have
lived in an altitude OF 10000 feet. 1t
has taken them month to travel 800
miles across the mountains of Tibet
They saw a railway train for the first
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Helping the Enemy.

Gen. Edward S. Bragg, the noted
veteran of the Civil war, who died re-
Gently, used TO relate this anecdote:
General Prices army was about
worn out at Pea Ridge. His soldiers
struggled all over The field Price
rode up in the midst Of all the disor-
der and shouted:
Close up, boys. East you, close
up, II the Yankees were to fire on
you when you're struggling along that
way they couldn't hit one Of you
Close up"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
UNFRAMED BY STRANGE FOOD
Cows Gave Demonstration of Fact
That Animal Stomach is Fear
full ana Wonderful Thing.

Four cows of Waterfowl, n. Y,
and one hen u Eayonne. y. J.. re-
vealed themselves as possessed of
most remarkable interiors recently
The COWS strolling through a meadow
came TO a fence near which some
workmen had temporarily haid a doz-
- dynamite. The COWS con
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
TIBET6NS TO SEE THE WORLD
For First Time in History, Natives of
That Country Plan Protracted
Dwelling Abroad.

The people of Tibet are the least
travelled people in the world. For the
first time in history. party of Tibet
ans has left the native country for
visit in England.
The visit received the sanction of
the dalai lama. The party consists OF
six persons-four Tibetan boys, whose
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Plea for Kitchen.

The kitchen should be the refinery.
the laboratory, the factory of the
home, and the pivotal point about
which the activities of the home re.
volve. Costa should be considered
thoughtfully: no scrap of food should
be used again in various ways. By
buying staple food supplies in large
quantities from IS to 30 per cent.
can be saved. Any one wishing to
do so may economic in this way
Housewives must not look upon their
art as mere drudgery; they must
bring education. intelligence, and con-
centration into practice. They should
learn, as manufacturers have, that
the best results are TO be obtained in
a workshop that is we'll lighted prop
erly ventilated, and comfortably
large, suitably furnished, and SAM
tary in all its equipments.-Lesl
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
SYSTEM DOWN TO A SCIENCE
Compelled to Unwind Lot Of
His Own Red Tape.

John Purrog Mitchell, the new Gus
toms collector for New York, praised
system at dinner.
There's nothing like system" he
said. System will accomplish the i'm
possible.
THE director of recent art show
was fine chap for system. One day
he arrived at the show without his
pass and the gateman, stranger, hello
him up.
81 have no pass nor ticket, sale
the system exponent, but am the
director of the show
You'll have to produce your ticket,
sir
But ] tell you I'm the director
high muckymuck-boss.
I can't help it, sir; I'm forbidden
to let
Eyes, know" said the director i'm
patiently, but, my good fellow, as the
director, give you permission to lei
me pass
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

time when arriving at DarieeIing. AT
Marseihes they saw an aeroplane and
had their pictures taken.
They have taken with them to Eng
land a small, square. red box which
contains portable shrine, images and
cloth blessed by the dalai lama.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
In the Natural History Class.

Now" asked the teacher, who can
tell me what an oyster is?"
Silence for a moment, while small
brows were knit in strained effort at
remembrance. Then little Tommy's
facial muscles relaxed and eagerly he
raised his hand.
Il knowi" he triumphantly an
nounced AN oyster is fish built
like a nut Every body's Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

was q veterinarian. He slit open her
crop, took therefrom small roll of
emery paper, sewed up the crop again
with silk thread and looked to see a
very sick hen stagger off to lie down
and very likely die. Instead she went
to her nest box and promptly Matched
out ten chickens.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
He Wasn't Such a Bad Old codoer.

he Wasn't Such Bad Old Codger.
In response to an inquiry as to the
whereabouts of the old-fashioned man
who called a kid an urchin, &c. F. D.
writes: We hope he is still here.
Late may he return to heaven For
he was q gentleman and a scholar
and Judge Of good English. But if
he is gone we would like to get him
back and would gladly give in ex-
change for him the sIipshod old goat
who yulgarly. thought naturally
enough, calls his offspring a kid =
Kansas City Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

DO YOU KNOW A SNAP WHEN YOU SEE
Ire TWO SECTIONS for EIGHTEEN dol
lars per acre THREE sections for FIFTEEN
dollars per acre. FOUR sections for TWELVE
dollars per in SOUTH ESTERE
NORTH DAKOTA. 0NE-E0URTH CASH,
BALANCE TO SUIT at SIX per cent II one
fourth of this land is cultivated WILL PAY
FOR ITSELF in a few years NEW SAEEM
INVESTMENT CO., NEW SALEM N DAB.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Good, Wishes from Home

When Mr.. Brown was away from
home on an extended business trip,
he got a long letter from his wife. 1t
ended thus:
Baby Is well and lots brighter than
she used to be. Hoping you are the
same, | remain,
Your loving wife"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
GETTING ORDERS.

Business Manager-Well, how many orders did
you get yesterday?
New Salesman got two orders in one place
Business Manager-That's the stuff! What
were they?
New Salesman-One was to get out and the
other to stay out.-Cornen Widow
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
The Tender Skin of Children

is very sensitive to heat. Use Tyree's
Antiseptic Powder for all summer skin
affections. 1t quickly affords the little
sufferer relief 25c at druggists or
sample sent free by ]. S. Tyree,
Chemist, Washington, D. C.-Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Curses on Him.

That fellow is bitterly hated by the
suffragists.''
What has he done?"
He invented the acid proof envel-
one"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Queer StrudQle.

There is one extremely odd thing
which happens often in summer"
What is it,"
That there should be such hot
line over the price of ice"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Old Man Gienn's Religion

Mr. Lincoln once remarked to q
friend that his religion was like that
Of an old man. named Glenn, in In.
diana, whom he heard speak at q
church meeting, and who said: When
I do good, feel good; when I do bad,
I feel bad; and that's my religion"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
EXnIanafion-

How was it that Jonesby could af-
ford to buy a yacht?"
Maybe his wife got it in one OF
these bargain sails"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Seeking sidht.

Ikey-Fader, vat Is dis Socialism?
Fader-It's robbery, dot vot it is
robbery,
Ikey-Is it we're mans creditors
wants him to divide NIT dem Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
A PhiIosophic Chinese.

Recalling the horrors of the Civil
war, General Sickles once said in a
Memorial day address:
Those horrors were so grisly and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
The Kind You Have ALWAYS Bought.


H.
black When
limitations younger
families medicines
to be regretted that there who engaged the
nefarious selling substitutes
should medicinal
adults chidns medicines
closely child Adults
that themselves, the child has o IF
the mothers wachfulness ~ UfN.-N
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Not PROMISING.

Well. after long looking for one,
found an opening yesterday"
You did,"
Yes: fell into a street trench
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Same Thing.

Yeast-They say a fish never does
stop growing.
Crimsonbeak-Well it hasn't any,
thing on a fish story, at that."-Y oDk-
ers Gazette.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

Id Joaquin Murrieta's buried gold is
growing restless in its hiding place.
One Of the herGars Of FL TETON
rancho came in pale and frightened
the other night. He had seen ball
Of light Pickering and dancing along
the plateau of the Banderillos. He
said it foated along the road il front
OF him for a long time as though to
lead him somewhere. Finally, il
stopped By the SIDE Of the road: he
hurried past and went home as fast
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Potent Attractions.

Tom-Women don't love men for
what they really are, but for what
they have done!
Kitty-And men love women for
what their fathers have done.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Only WAY to Ely.

q thought you said you were going
in for aviating?"
No, I'm going up for it"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Adaqe Revised.

Children should be seen and not
heard
Especially when consuming soup"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
niFfers With Him

What do you think about that
mans claim that he has invented day
light
Il think it's moonshine"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21
Exception.

Nothing ever comes of pipe
Dreams
oh, yes. there does. if one strikes
oil
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
ion,allays pan,cures wind colo, 25c bOttle.IeV
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

Some talking machines are made,
but the majority are born.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

Many fellow who is thrown on his
own resources falls back on those of
his friends
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-08-21

Never cali any man a liar TO MS
teeth unless they are false.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-12-19
GEORGE INQUIRE TO TESTIFY,

ALBANY. Dec. i9.--George II. Nc.
0uire. Syracuse contractor and brother
Of ex Mayor Mcclure. Is expected 10
testify before Commissioner James W.
Osborne IN the Carlisle asphalt hearing
tomorrow.
Arthur T. Warner. assistant to Os.
borne. said to-day that Mcclure Was
reported to be in Atlantic city" Nc.
Guire, as an agent for the Barber As.
phalt Company. II said to have COZ,
spired with Carlisle against the use ui
warner-yuinlnn asphalt.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-12-19
LAWYER PATRICK'S WIFE
DEAD IN OKLAHOMA
She Spent $4,000 to Free Him of
Murder Ciarge-Married Him
in Prison.
fs,cci,, 10 The Evening World J

TULSA. OKLA, Dec. is.--Mrs. Al
bert II. Patrick. whose husband served
twelve years in Sing sing Prison as
the alleged murderer Of william Marsh
Rice. died here to-day. Patrick and
their children were at the bedside.
Mrs. Patrick as Mrs. Addle VI. Fran
cie was married to Patrick soon afte,
MS conviction for the murder OF Rice
For the ensuing twelve years she de
voted her entire time and cSpende
$4,000 In efforts to prove Patrick's limo
cence and gain a pardon for him.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-12-19
We Shopped Early in the
Diamond Market

Not cutter in Europe put in hour of over
time waiting for Lambcrts order. We put IN
good big one before the duty on Diamonds went
up. As usual. we picked out fine diamonds, paid
spot cash for them. imported them direct and
mounted them in solid likarat, lS-karat Gold or
Platinum. Consequently. rs usual, We offer
Diamond values which would he away beyond US
if we had to pay middlcmcn and to carry the
burden of u swell store in "a Questionable"
ncighborhood.
Fruits Of our economy Diamond Engagement
Rings between $1,000 and sl5OO.OO every one
larger return for the money than you could find
in any store not conducted on the Lambert plan.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-12-19
At Lamberts Christmas Buyers Find
the Very Jewelry Gifts They Wani

only one profit and that not large one, because the
extent Of our business is such that can afford low
prices even for masterpieces in Solid Gold, Plati
mum and Diamonds.
Don't hesitate to ask about the most splendid
piece Of Jcwery that attracts your eye. Prices
always less than you wouid suppose AMI are
always marked in plain figures.