New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-22
AS ] WAS SAYING

ing higher ever higher, it is in our eye ana the
reason is-MeXico.
We feel that America is being humbugged Chok-
ing the Senate with hand the reporters WIN ne
other President Wilson talks hope while Uncle hon
Lind wires gayly gentlemen. all is yust yolly,' and
Dr. John Bassett Moore issues his cunning niue
optimistic bulletins Diplomacy very sick woman
and must see her pastor, but guess she VIII pun
through" and Kiplng joins in, as usual
THE Peerless Leader sits an smiles
So bloomin' calm. so far from blue.
There amt a wave for miles an mes
Exccp' the jiggle from the screw
Loose"
Thus tbcv crv. peace, Peace" and Mexico helps
them-dumps an utimatum on our doorstep one
day carts it home the next. 1t is perfect SIZZLING
e,. f eoft words and gentle looks. But they can
no, impose on Yours Truthfuly. Brethren the war
broke ont at twenty minutes past last MONDAY
morning. and neither country has been allowed TO
know it.
Just as we predicted the capture has occurred
but it is not the original Thaw. Think moment
and YOU will see how hshy the reports from Canada
were False on the face OF them! Recall CANADA
attitude toward reciprocity Then ask yourself how
Harry could bc recognized among the Canadians
And if il seems incredible that anybody should
pass himself off for Harry, pause once more ana
consider What a fortune, What fame what
wife.
Marine intelligence is at last exhausted. After
naming the Imperator. the Megantic, the Kaiser
Wilhelm der Grossest and the President TAFT the
sbipbuilders confess themselves unable 20 find
name sufficiently illustrious and gigantic Tor the
next new Levathan So this is where we come IN.
We have the perfect the matchless name-a name
suggesting vast size unlimited power, an excellent
cuisine and. owing TO its forecast OF solution Tor
the transoceanic problem, promise Of freedom
from scasckness. incidentally. II Is name that IS
becoming rarer every day.
Oh happy ship We christen thee Bridget
AT the height Of her fame" says THE Mel
bourne" Theresa achieved perhaps more than any
music hall singer has even in these days OF te
htiumrp IN IN NM"
Bully for Theresa, Very trying are these days
Of te htiumrp m m mm-not only TO the singer,
but to the audience 'Tc htiumrp m m m nm in
flames our curiosity and we burn for knowledge.
Oh. risky, Better etc huunrp IN III IN m NM than
the crisp. clcan-cut cnuncaton one sometimes en-
counters in music halls.
What said Brother Flag? ut is dangerous to
want things" We wanted to know what tie htiumrp
IN m m m NM meant. and along came Nesta Vic
toria.
Investigations have yielded truly narrowing returns
and multitudes are seeking the cause. We have not
been Idle ourself Buttonholing the nearest bach
elor we obtained this significant reply:
Hang it. The girls / would have couldn't get
and the girls / could get the Devil wouldn't have"
When that fiery Virginia rector said things about
dude church." and burned up not only his vest
ments but the Book of Common Prayer, we trembled
i'm our every limb After that, where should we OBJ
tain our prayers? But here comes Life ana on
Page 303 we read:
whatever Gods There BE: Endow me, frat Of
all with those qualities OF mind and heart which
will enable me to take the great, glorious out-of-
doors under my patronage and get away with II.
THAT done suffer me to take myself so much too
seriously to found League Of Boy Something or
Others. and conduct department for these In "A
number Of periodicals.
1T being understood of course, that do not wish
the world cured. in my time of It's readiness to fall
for pose and pfle Amen
oh, land of Goshen! gospel lights and privileges!
If we could guess who is being pointed out to the
congregation. might have something to say about
Brother Hyphen Thompson. In default. COM
ment u.s. Wow.
Between her first aid ministrations to American
millionaires, who insist riding under French rail-
instead or INSIDE, lovely lllllan NuSSeli
has found time to critcise the Parsiennes for their
taste in paint.
While hating to seem unapprecative Of those
gaudy lips and CHASTITY checks. guess Lillian has
spoken the truth only too gently. 1t is "A mistake to
suppose that all the tuberculous paint in Paris has
been consumed by the Post-Impresslonists.
We do not gobbe these interviews with Shaw.
We Fetcherze. Hence the hardness Of our comp-
ments to the recent outbreak II found" says Shaw,
that had only to say with perfect simplicity what
] seriously meant, just as 1t struck me, to make
everybody laugh. THE real joke Is that l in
earnest"
Sound reporting doubtless. the ntervewers
part. Shaw will be tckled. But why has the daring
Journalist referred Bernards "streaky whiskers"r
They the sorrow of his life Once "A blazing red
they faded before color photography could immor-
talize their splendor. r. L. III.
PITY THE POOR DOGS!