New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-01
The Woman
About Town

THE INFANT RHAPSODY young
| bachelor recently sought our advice on
how to act toward the new baby which
his boss had invited him to see. After
| advising that he read Jerome X Jerome's
IDLE thoughts on the subject. we told him
TO gaze upon the baby rapturously. speak
! in superlatives and lie like woman. IL
few wisps Of hair were visible. 10 vow
that never before had such tresses been
seen upon one so young. If II was as bald
as doorknob. to declare that luxurious
locks would soon appear; that II looked
like dad but had it's mothers disposition.
and that one day they'd be mighty proud
OF IL. He came through with such flying
coiors that tho mother urged him 10
come soon again" and his boss boosted
his salary.
LIKE FATHER LIKE SON.-The chill
dren in the IA class had been playing
with blocks. when they were instructed 10
put them in position so the box could slip
over them. Sone Of the boys couldn't get
their block. correctly placed. so The
teacher told several OF the brighter lads
! TO help The woman's attention was
drawn to an urchin with a comicsl Irish
face. Try as he would. ne couldn't get
the blocks right When help came you'd
naturally think he'd be glad TO be shown
how But no. He skipped right over to
another boy and said cant ye do it,
I'll show We how Doesn't that remind
you of many grown-ups. who don't know
the first thing about managing their own
affairs but who are constantly telling US
how TO run ours?
DID HE?-As We We're trying 10 enter
store on 3ith street the other afternoon
we were annoyed To lind the entrance
blocked by young couple who were eN-
changing greetings that might better have
been reserved for a more private place.
when in the young mans hand we spied
ring case Then we chuckled and went
10 the other door But We wonder II he
actually popped the question" in that
doorway.
PITY THE FATHERS,-A woman was
invited 10 dine at the + ONE Of the Newly
WEEDS Mr. " was minding the three
months old baby when Mrs. y. said,
10 the dinner" 4 few moments later an
awful thud was heard. Daddy made one
dive Horrors Baby had tumbled 10 the
/ floor, Just a. daddy had picked II mp ~
rushed the mother, IN one hand "a tower
and in the other "A long fork with half
broiled chop upon II. Al once grasplng
the situation, she sent the towel fork ana
chop flying and traglcally exclaimed,
Give him 10 me-" The nice dinner was
scarcely touched, and later daddy was
discovered waving "A red pillo" IN front OF
precious 81 just want TO see II ne IL no,
tee this, for. oh. I'm afraid the ian
blinded HIM,
CREDIT FOR GENEROSITY. - II
| vou'ye ever seen wealthy people protest
that they couldn't afford 10 subscribe
toward a charity fund and then, upon De
ing told that the names OF contributor
would be published. noticed how quckil
they bearned and handed over "A big check
YOU would have been reminded OF them
upon seeing Mistah Johnsing and his laay
friend strolling along l29th street Ns
thsv passed crippled beggar Mistan
Johnsing stopped. held up his head. pufi"d
out his chest and with a great hours"
dropped a coin In the cripples nat ne
lady friend beamed, while Mistah Jonn-
sings head went still higher ana h.s
chest followed on. II was done SO ar
tisticallv We wanted 10 ask him 10 40 IL
all over eSain