davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the chicago News1

GFTom the Chicago News.1
Blessings come disguised, but SO does
ptomaine poisoning.
Only another fool ever answers a fool
according to his folly.
yard of rope is worth half a mile of
sympathy to a drowning man.
Honesty, the excuse a lazy man has
for being poor. is worn threadbare by
now
A woman's bravery crops out when she
has a mouse trapped and at other times.
the man with a presidential bee gen
orally gets stung, but there are easier
methods.
He is a foolish married man who fails
to remember that his burden brings COM
pensationS.
If a wise man really wants to convince a
woman, he uses flattery instead of ra-
uonal argument.
Even if girl is color blind she can al
most invariably see an ice cream sign
clear around the corner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
FROM OTHER PENS
FRIED CHICKEN.

Members of congress must be uneasy
and truculent souls, trouble-lovin;s
and contentious. In the intervals of
wrestling with the ever-blooming tariff,
the currency reform and the dog-day
heat the representatives of the sover-
eign people have involved themselves
in a discussion of fried chicken la
South Carolina. a la Missouri, and par
ticularly a la Washington, D. G. Sena-
tor Tillman pitchforked all the trouble
on superheated Washington by de-
nouncing the frying chickens" sold
there as the 'stringy skeletons OF
ancient fowls" The feud between the
houses of Capulet and Montague was
dull and listless episode compared
with that now raging between tine
senator and the embattled boarding.
house keepers of Washington. Enter
Missouri into the controversy in The
person of Congressman Rubey, who eX-
plains that the cooks of Washington
should take leaf from the cookbocks
of Missouri housewives and all would
be well. Let the cooks of Washington
do their duty. carving the meat into
small pieces, browning these perfectly
and serving with gravy. and the situa-
ton may be saved, according to the
MissOurian. AS an alternative, n COM
mission might be appointed to visit
Missouri and secure such data as will
prevent the art of frying chicken from
becoming entirely lost in that part OF
the country lying east of the Blue
Ridge.-St. Louis Republic.
PARCEL POST AND PROVERBS.
Parcel post opponents forgot he
eastern proverb that when the car,el
gets its head under the tent the hump
follows; also the parable of the bottled
up genie that fearfully expanded on re-
lease. The parcel post service was be
gun with a silly special stamp, high
charges, a complicated zone system. n
low-weight maximum and other handi-
caps The special stamp obstacle did
not last six months; soon 1t will be seen
only in collectors albums. On July L
the excessive insurance fee was reduc-
ed and arrangements were made for
mailing c. o. d. packages. Now, in less
than seven months. Postmaster Gener-
al Burleson orders for Aug. Is Il SEN
sible rearrangement of the first zonc to
mean local delivery, reduced rates for
first and second zones and a limit of
twenty pounds instead of eleven. Use
full. sagacious beast of burden, the
camel is ripping up the tent that
sheltered Privilege. Some day we shall
have a parcel-post system like the best
in Europe. Once begun, this great pub
lie convenience grows inevitably.-New
York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
GRANDPARENTS SWORD.

1nactive-Sombre-now upon the wall
It hangs, the sword an unsung hero bore.
Perhap, to 1T, more silent footsteps fall
Than yours and mine upon the cottage
floor.
Time and again, towards its resting place
We look with glance too commonplace,
to see
The soldiers uniform and soldiers face
That went with this same sword in '63.
Blank to our eyes the dark and curious
STAIN
Shut to our ears the secrets of its blade.
But the old sword must surely dream
again
OF bugle call thru battlefield and glade,
Secure it hangs there, and a sense OF
trust
Seems like blessing to abide in me,
Since Time has hung with spiderweb and
dust
The weapon of the war of '63.
June Bellman Henthorne, in the Howard
Courant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Many an old saw has particularly
sharp teeth.
T. - =
The severer the critic. the less he
likes to be criticized.
d d. j.
Nearly every successful man has II
few failures on his record.
j. = =
A gossipy man is really worse than
any of the famales of that species.
+ = =
AS a matter of fact. it's the people
in glass houses who throw most of the
stones.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
A tooth that aches generally feels as
big as an acre.
The nearest approach to perpetual mo-
ton is bit of juicy scandal
Hoax'Is Scribbler's new romance his
toricaI?" Joax-'sNo, hystericaL"
The henpecked man doesn't feel like a
BIRD when his wife makes Inn quail
Distance may lend enchantment at some
times but not right after vacation time.
There's nothing in the world quite so
obscure" says the Chronic Bachelor, as
the husband of a successful woman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
Rag Carpets for White House.

''It is announced that two old ladies
in North Carolina are weaving by hand
rag carpets, druggets, and portieres
which are to be used by Mrs. Wilson,
wife of the president, in her own
apartments at the White House." re-
marked George H. Bradish of Batavia,
N Y, at the Shoreham. This recalls
a somewhat similar incident during
the early days of Mrs Cleveland's
regime as first lady of the land. Short
ly after President Cleveland had pur-
chased the property commonly desig-
mated as Red Top out on the Ten
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
ON fEE SPUR
or TIE MOMENT
An Old Fashioned Lady.
BY ROY X. MOULTON.

She never threw a high-power bomb,
She never tossed a brick or rock
She never made a corner speech
But she knew how to darn a sock
she never went upon a hike
N government did she defy:
she never Joined a hunger strike
But she knew how to make a pie.
She never stormed about the polls,
Nor Joined in suffrage doings wild;
Sc never smashed a plate glass 'front.'
But she knew how to rear child
Her kingdom was her little home
A queen she was, by our consent;
She re1gned supreme nor cared to roam
Old-fashioned. maybe, but content
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
HOME NEW WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rae
of ten cents a week or thirty Genus
n month (by mail only. Address
changed as often as desired. Wh1ie
out of town the State Journa! VIII oe
TO you like a daily letter from nome.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

LORD. ENLIGHTEN PEORIA.

LORD, ENLIGHTEN PEORIA.
A landlord in Peoria, Illinois, held q
baby for a board bill of its parents
last week. Peoria, you know, is the.city
that makes more whiskey and beer
than any city in the world. II has
formed a habit of mortgaging the lives
of babies, through its distilleries and
brewerfes until, as shown in the case
Just mentioned, the habit has spread
to the chattel state Of mortgage When
you beat Peoria for human mortgages
of soul and body you will have to get
up early In the morning. The wealth
OF the light and airy uphill residence
section and of the old established river
business ward is laid upon the founda-
ton OF f1rewater and debauchery.
From the time the first stills along
the Illinois river turned out poison for
the Kickapoos, until the FURNISHED
liveries of plutocrats wlisk in and ont
of the carriages and cars of the
wealthy criminals. the story OF Peoria
has been written in red ink. So there
is little wonder at the announcement
that a Peoria landlord held a baby for
a board bill. Peoria is the hardest
crusted city in the Central states. It
can hold baby for ransom in one
hand and lead the choir with the other.
1t maintains Molrs military band to
play the national airs while IL Is COM
uniting civic and social crimes against
the nation too numerous to be enum-
Grated in a volume the size of the
Kansas statutes. Don't wonder at any
thing that happens in Peoria. Bob
Burdette who made Peoria his home in
the early days of his life once told
the writer of this that all the humor
that ever occurred to him. occurred If
ter he left Peoria Abraham Lincoln
who once drove his old horse along the
circuit in Central Illinois before Peoria
attained any prominence as a boat
landing. would shun the vicinity were
he to traverse the old trail from De-
the iron grasp and the steel heart. and
if the item referred to above should
have read as If the city itself had nsld
the infant for a bill, The Herald for
one would not have been surprised
Ottawa Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
This, That and the Other

We are not betting on the ponies this
year. We bet on one last year about this
got around the track yet If you are
bound to bet though, follow these instruc-
tons and you will not be disappointed:
Take S. bill that you don't care any
ticular use foT-and then pick out a nice
looking horse, one with pretty face. Bet
the five on the horse at the prevailing
odds and then hasten from the. arena,
catch the first car for town before the
race and don't go back. Instead go and
bat a large hornets nest with club ana
will cause you to forget the races en-
tirely
There was some class to the ancients
even if the scientists are trying to crab
teeth; George Washington had red hair;
Char1emagne was fond of pigs liver;
l. enry VII used to wear a corset; Barbara
Freitcnie wore false banks, and William
the Conqueror attended cock fights, but
not one of these ever went far to
smoke a cigaret in telephone booth.
should be taken to keep the corn out of
the hair and ears, particularly If you ara
dining out in company. OF course, If you
are eating alone in a restaurant you may
go as far as you like. In other words, you
may chew to the line and let the corn
fall where it will The main object should
be to get at least SIS per cent of the corn
per cent of It on the tablecloth and the
floor. The whole ear of corn should not
be buttered at one time. for this is a
or more elusive than piece of butter
which has been placed on an ear of hot
corn. person is apt to miss it suddenly
and find it a few minutes afterwards in
his vest pocket or on the inside of his
shoe. 1t is better to butter about one
mouthful of corn at one time and then
dexterity swatting the lily and is much
more exciting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Proposals that the government let's
down the bars and permits both sides
to the Mexican fracas to obtain arms
and ammunition from this country
seem to point to a practical plan for
the eventual establishment of peace in
Mexico. 1t is probable that if the
Mexicans had this privilege, the war
like ones among them would soon ex-
terminate each other.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Several foreigners were wounded
during a recent revolutionary riot in
Shanghai. According to the sauce
that European powers would dish up
to Uncle Sam, it is surely incumbent
on them to intervene with arms in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

after the persistent efforts of Wat
terson, he held Betty's hand in his
and swayed rhythmically to the music
of the great orchestra with her, he
could hardly believe it was she. 1t
took her actual Yes to his proposal,
a month later, to convince him that
she loved him and not his friend
atterson.-(Copyrigh 1913, by the
Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Senator Works sounds no more
than a reasonable warning when he
insists that the absolute domination
of a president over the activities of
congress is fraught with much danger
to the institutions of this republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

some financial experts say that
$500, 0O0, 900 in American money has gone
into Canada within a year. That much
Yankee capital would have been taken
out of Mexico in the same time # it
had been possible to get it over tie
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

President Huerta now knows he will
never be officially recognized under
any circumstances. Many another
murderer would be glad of that
knowledge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
THE VENUES.

Under the above caption, the Kan
sas City Star discusses editorially the
latest development in the natural gas
situation, as follows:
what rights have the people of
Kansas and Missouri as against the
bondhoIders of Pennsylvania? A court
out in Utah would like to know
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
SOME GOOD ADVICE.

If you have a good home and are
out of debt, don't fret and worry your
self and your wife into the grave for
the sake of making money. You have
but one life to live and it is brief
at best. Take a little pleasure and
comfort as you go, day by day. and
try to do a little more to others. A
morbid, insatiate desire to possess the
earth, to grab everything in sight, is
a foundation of more misery than
any one thing. Wealth alone will
never keep your memory green after
you are gone. A good life and kind
actions will.-Altoona Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26


1t is taking Col Mulhal1 a long
time to tell what he knows, but, take
| it from Col Mulhall, he knows lot.
Ringling's circus has always been a
welcome visitor in Topeka In the
past, it has brought a number of
much needed rains. and this time
everyone was glad 10 forego the adj
Vantages of rain for the privilege Of
seeing what Ringling's really had to
show.
There seems to be some question
as to whether or not a woman should
wear stockings while bathing. In our
opinion, she should if her legs look
half as bad as a mans.
Buff. Bills show is on a peg in
Denver as the result of a Autograph
DILL 1t seems that he had kept rea-
sonably square with the other larg-
est creditor, the powder factory.
Hondo Murphy is in the hands of a
specialist, and expects to be strong
enough to stand a vacation by Sep
tenn Der l.
Wearing a diaphanous skirt on a
cloudy day is an awful waste.
Friend Pip Daniels is home on a
vacation, and for the first time in
months can write just what he wants
to and get it printed. Pip holds a
job on more-or-less city sheet now,
and we have been informed. conf
dentially, by at least a hundred cub
reporters, that the city paper copy
readers are SO DANCED Jealous they
won't let Good Writer get by with
any of his individuality.
But this is no joke: the low
| proved copy reader who would prune
the productions of Pip, should be
kicked in the Stats and have his smok-
ing TOBACCO taken away from him.
| 1t has been observed by. those who
make observing their business, that
the Noble Red Man no longer emits
MS war whoop on the wild plains of
the Pot Reservation, and keeps said
Whoop to be released in the bull pen
at the city Jail. The answer is OBJ
V1ous; experience teaches the Indian
to refrain from exhibiting his war
whoop until he is in a safe place
where some white man cannot take it
away from him.
1t Might Be Worse!
| SPARROWS ARE BAD But RF,
GLAD PARROTS ARE NOT AS
PLENTIFUL!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

If Dave Lamar is found guilty on
the indictment that has been returned
against him, the prison stripes will
change his semblance from that of a
wolf to that of a hyena. And the
latter classification will fit him even
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Surely 1t will not escape the notice
of those interested in Mexico that
recognition by the United States does
not save the Chinese republic from
reNnlntinns
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

me state Journal is a member Of the
TsJagranh reDort of thar great news ST-
ranization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The state Jo1e-
nal building over wires for this sole puf"
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

If senatorial dignity forbids Jim
Ham Lewis to divest himself of his
waistcoat, it doesn't prevent him from
dispatching his spatS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Those four Denver editors who
were arrested for printing "Septem-
Der Morn are lucky that it wasn't
the Venus of Medici.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

But what if affairs of state should
require a cabinet conference without
taking the chautauqua audiences into
full confidence?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Really scientific handling of the
Mexican crisis would appear to require
that it be promptly isolated for OBJ
Sor,,atinr
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

GOOD ROADS-GOOD SCHOOLS.
In a pamphlet issued recently by the
National Highways association some
telling facts and arguments are pre-
scented on the relation between roads
and schools. 1t is forcefully set forth
that good roads have a moral, civic,
and educational value which cannot
be measured in dollars. And that
good schools cannot be reached except
we have good roads.
Massachusetts,, Rhode Island, Con-
necticut, Ohio and Indiana have an
average improved road mileage of al
most So per cent, and more than IT
per cent of the children attend school.
In Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas.
South Dakota, and Georgia, the figures
are is per cent and less than 60 per
cent respectively.
In Massachusetts, Connecticut, New
Jersey and Rhode Island the popula-
ton exceeds 100000, and there are
less than 10000 (0.34 per cent? il
literate native-born whites, and more
than so per cent improved mileage.
In Arkansas, Missouri, Mississippi and
North Carolina the figures are almost
100000 population, $4,000 (4.75
per cent? illiterate native-born whites,
and is per cent improved highways.
The children of today are the cleo
tors, the representatives, the senators,
the judges, one of them the president,
of tomorrow. The population is in
creasing by leaps and bounds. If edu-
cation means liberty, and if poor
roads mean illiteracy or worse, have
we not a right to build good roads,
even if they would not pay for them
selves well within the generation
which builds them? Not only has this
generation such a right, but it has
solemn duty to act in these premises.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

And the man who married in Sc
cret for fear his son wouldn't let him
must have great faith in the efficacy
of early training.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

1t is paruonable to suspect that the
home office would be more than
pleased if Mrs. Pankhurst had made
her escape permanent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

In giving Dumfermline $10,0OO,o0O
more, Mr.. Carnegie evidently desires
to make his birthplace flush as well
as famous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Secretary Daniels mistake was evil
IDENTIFY in supposing that Seattle would
recognize illusions to any but local
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Still, establishing a protectorate
over Nicaragua will seem to some a
queer way to bring order out OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

White suits may serve to distinguish
senators from lobbyists, but what is
there to distinguish them from bar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

For it's dearly bought few months
respite from the Turks, Adrianople
must find it hard to be duly thankful
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

Seattle can no longer be denied the
right to refer to herself as the rat
erson of the Pacific slope.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
According to Uncle Abner.

BY the time Hank Tumms and his wife
finally decide where to go on their vaca-
ton it is time to begin buyin' coal again
and they postpone their trip uptil the next
year.
A Teller will haggle for an hour in a
grocery store over the price of a pound OF
cheese, but will go to a garage and pay
three prices for gasoline without a muir
muir and be glad to get it.
1t takes a funeral or a fire to set all the
tongues Vaughn in a small town.
When the average minister gifts through
settlin' the differences in his church choir
he hasn't much strength left to spread the
truth among the members of his congre-
cation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

trusts. And the Democrats are surely
in need of one. Before they obtain I'd
control of the government they in
sisted that the tentacles of the trust
could be easily clipped if they were
denied tariff favors. Their plans.
however, for free raw sugar, which
will be greatly to the advantage of
the sugar trust, and free cattle and
meat which will be of like advantage
to the beef trust, indicate that they
have laid the theory of busting the
trusts through the tariff to one side.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26
by THE WAY
az HARVEY PARsoNs

Do you like today's string of cube
cartoons? Neither do we, neither do
we. 1t is worse than nude descend
ing staircase" The offense will not
be repeated
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

President Wilson is reported to have
worked out a new plan to curb the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

1t is taking Col. Mulhal1 a long
time to tell what he knows, but, take
1t from Col. Mulhall, he knows a lot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

1t Might Be Worse.
SPARROWS ARE BAD. But RF,
GLAD PARROTS ARE NOT AS
PLENTIFUL!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-26

There seems to be some question
as TO whether or not a woman should
wear stockings while bathing. In ou1
opinion, she should if her legs look
half as bad as a mans.