New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-11-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Socialist speaker was holding forth at the
Franklin statue in front Of The Tribune.
whats going on there" asked elderly man
of a busy newsboy.
"Takin' up a collection for Murphy" the
ready
First Old Feuow-HulIo old chap, how are you?
Second O. First class; how are you?
F. o. aforementioned Lampoon
Who's New York's leading humorist?" asked one
OF a group of men "sardined" the platform of an
overloaded subway
oh I don't know" friend replied "There's'-
IT'S nobody you have in mind" broke in the first
man. ITS the general manager Of this road. Frank
Hedey. Just look there"-ponting to the sign on
the front door Of the car:
Passengers Are Forbidden to Ride on Platform.
I'm afraid my eyes are going back on me- SAID
the egotst. .,
have an inexhaustibe supply"-Chicago Record
Herald
William II. Wadhams. iudge-clect Of tho Court Of
General Sessions. is particularly fond OF the number
seven He believes there is luck in it, He was born
on the seventh day of the seventh month OF the
year. has seven letters in his name and was in
dorsed by seven parties. with many sevens he
said he couldn't lose. And he didn't.
She-How can he ever hope TO win a woman's love
he such whiSkerS!
Hc-He raised them az a forlorn nope, after seeing
the way she fondled her skye terrter-Lfe
A GOURMETs REGRET
81 wish" the turkey gobbler sighed
THAT I were somewhat thinner;
I've grown so fat fear I'll not
Enjoy Thanksgiving dinner"
"Is your boy Josh studying hard7"
Yes" replied Farmer Corntossel ne dn at toi.u
of hts books that I'm afraid when II comes TO foot
hall or the gee club he's goin TO be disgrace to the
family Washington star.
The recent celebration Of the centenary OF the birth
If Henry Ward Beecher served TO recall to man
whose memory goes back to the Fremont campaign
q story which Beecher told in Connecticut when
stunning for the first candidate of the Republican
rarity.
"Beecher on this occasion" said he asserted that
YOU could always depend upon the Democrats going
in one direction They remind me-, he sald' OF Il
ram Of which once heard. This ram would charge
at anything with remarkable persistence Its owner
desired TO teach the ram lesson one evening he
suspended heavy beetle, such then used for
splitting logs, from a tree in the lot in which The
ram was pastured and braced it TO withstand any
shock to which 1t might be subjected As he ex-
pected the ram went for It. The next morning when
he visited the orchard he found that the beast had
butted II so often that there nothing left of the
ram but It's tail, and that was still butting.
Hostess Ito young guest-You won't have another
piece Of pie, Bobbe; why, you must be suffering
from loss Of appetite.
Bobbie-NOm I'm suffering from promise 10 my
mother-Boston Transcript.
LEASING once said that If Raphael had been born
without arms he would nevertheless have been a
great painter and reminded Of the queer
phrase by the appearance the stage Of Berlin
theatre of an armless artist. He challenges our
wonder and admiration" writes who saw
him. land his performance is great lesson to those
who hesitate In the face Of ordinary obstacles. The
pictures which this genius produces are made with
pencil brush held by the teeth and guided by the
heads motions. Landscapes, portraits and still life
pictures are made in this way, and while they may
not be in the Academy class they are more wonder
full than many works which aspire to that distlnc-
ton"
Just one kiss" murmured the bookkeeper.
The pretty stenographer pointed to a pacard
mo Goods at Retail II stated
So he took a job lot.-Washington Herald.
Some men take particular pride in their swearing
ability" said Representative Swager Shirley. We
had a fellow out in Louisville and, oh my! how he
could cuss One day his pastor overheard him giving
vent to his feelings.
my good man. where in the world did you learn
that anguage?' exclaimed the preacher
Say. parson. you can't learn it, he replied with
it's gift. "
I'm the old days doctors used to bleed patients for
most of the diseases" .
They still do. my boy; they still DO -Deuot
Free Press.
THE LAWS DELAYS.
Tba