davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
COULDN'T SEE THE HUMOR
EngIishwoman Nobly Upheld Tnadl-
tions of Her Race When a Witty
Remark Was Made.

There were three Americans in the
party, four Scotchwomen, and one
who was English, and they were hav-
ing tea one rainy afternoon in Edin-
burgh. One of the Americans had
changed the subject of conversation
from humor to golf. She had gracious
ly agreed with the Englishwoman that
it was quite too absurd to say that
English people were slow to see a
joke. She had even, with no effect Of
perjuring herself admitted that the
English mind accepted light and friv"
olous remarks in a thoroughly light
and frivolous spirit. She had been
most agreeable, and then she began
to talk, as every American who goes
to Scotland must sooner or later be-
gin to talk, on the avidity with which
the Scotch played golf in the rain.
II have been in Edinburgh she
said, 'for two weeks. 1t has rained
every day for 10 days. The Brunts.
field links look like a lake. And yet
there are people playing golf there;
there have been people playing golf
III IIO dlu SFtIy udy L We u66u uSIS-"
quite as many as on the one day when
the sun shone for As minutes! And
all the time I've been in Scotland
every one of the % days-I have seen
men and women and children driving
balls over puddles. Does it make it
better sport? Or do they love it so
that they can't miss day. even when
it's pouring? Or is it that it always
rains?"
The Scotchwomen smiled, but no
one had an answer ready. And one of
the other Americans permitted herself
"a light remark.
Il have splendid idea," she said.
ITS an invention. I'm going to make
a fortune. I'm going to invent a golf
stick that has an umbrella on the 9TH
er end. You can hold one end over
yourself and hit with the other Isn't
it great?"
The Scotchwomen laughed. The
other Americans laughed. The Eng
lishwoman looked puzzled for a mo-
ment, laid down her toasted scone, and
spoke earnestly.
"Oh, but really" she said, wouldn't
that quite spoil the stroke?"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Ma tional Life ms. Co. Meeting
Over 100000 Paid During Year to Policy
hOiaerS-0ffiCers Elected

The National Life Insurance Company
Office in Montpeiel Tuesday, OF last week
and listened to a statl IA, IT of conditions
for the past year. ". W. Stickney OF
Ludlow, Charles p. Smith of Burlington
and Osman D. Clark were elected direct
Ors for four years, to succeed Intensely eS.
Later the directors met and elected the
following otficers:-
Joseph A. DeBoer, president; Fred A,
Rowland, vce-president ana counsel;
Harry NJ. Cutler, I'd vice-presldent and
treasurer; Osman D. Clark, secretary;
Arthur b. Bisbee, NJ. D., medical drec-
tor; Clarence E. Moulton, actuarY; Ed
ward d. Field, superintendent of agencies;
E. A. Cotton, NJ. D., assistant medical di-
rector; George Briggs, inspector of mort
gage loans; Frank A. .Dwlnell, inspector
of mortgage loans; Frank K. Goss, in,
spector of mortgage loans.
The report showed payments to policy
holders on account of death in the amount
of $l,S9S, $3.50, distributed through 43
states, apart from foreign countries to
which members of the company have
moved. The total sum, while large, was
exceeded through Investment earnings by
1858, 773 80. The causes of deaths, 60l in
all, included 151 from general diseases,
SO from diseases of the nervous system,
l3l of the ci1culatory system, A of the
digestive system, 70 of the genito-urinary
system, 81 from violent causes and five
unclassfied.
The leading causes of death were tuber.
culosis, cancer, apoplexy, heart disease,
pneumonia. Bright's disease, accident
and suicide.
The cOmpany's issue of new insurance,
amounting to $40, 1856 03l67, Was ulstrb-
uted through 81 states. Amung the lead
ing occupations there was reported ,26j
farmers, l., l29 accountants, stenographers
and clerks, 964 merchants, 900 profession
al men and women, 45l teachers and stu
dents, 29l capitalists and bankers, 147
editors and publishers, 220 state and gov
eminent officials, etc. in all 562.
The company's insurance, which now
equals $40, AGA, 607.54. is distributed
through At states. In Vermont the il
surance amounts to IS, l53, $50 20, repre-
sented by 6, 173 policies. The company's
investments in this state equal $l,2O4,-
1923 "a.
The reports also indicated a gross in
come of S9,431 .S41.55. Total payments to
policy holders amounted to $5,395, 1877 S. |
Assets have now reached the gross sum
of $50 OBS, S67S1. The company has set
aside for payment in 1918 policy holders
dividends of 81 ,Ol0 SO So, while the total |
surplus of the company is Sc, 1856 $40.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Revising the Other Fellow

Before election the shouts OF Democrats
orators in denouncing the iniquit Gus and
robber tariff were heard to high heaven.
The Democratic spellbinders fairly trothed
at the mouth in their arraignment OF the
customs tax as the root of all evil, as the
cause of the high cost of living, as the
mother of trusts, and so on. Since cleo
ton, hearings have been heard daily be-
fore the Committee of Ways and Means
on the tariff, and platoons of manufac-
turers and business men have lodged Their
protests against a down revision OF GER
tain schedules.
Among the protestants-are Democrats
who worked and spoke for the ticket last
all. They are enthusiastic for a down
ward revision on certain commodities,
but when the Ways and Means Com
mittee puts a heavy hand on items in
which they are interested or on goods
manufactured i'll their home communities
these same tariff reformers entreat the
Committee to spare the folk back home
this mortal injury. Free trade is lovely
in theory when applied to the other fell
low, but when it hits home, the burden of
the tariff reform song drops to pretty
small peep
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
A Little OverdOne

The Londonderry Sitter, through its
acting editor, says that the present gen
eral assembly is 1.-THE most disgracefuI
legislature ever convened in Vermont, or
anywhere else" Which doesn't leave
much more to be said. The Sitter also
wants TO know hit wouldn't "bring tears
from a wooden Indian" referring to
something the legislature has done. The
answer of course issrthat. it wauldsbring
wooden tears from a blockhead. The
present legislature has made mistakes,
has done things which ought not be ap-
proved OF, but there is nothing to be
gained by shooting sweeping statements,
like those of The Sitter, up in the air and
letting them light where they please.
1t will be time enough to size up this
present legislature. as a whole, after it
has adjourned. Perhaps The Sitter man
may be alive then, and, if he is. he NAV
want to revise his present remarks.-St.
Adams Messenger.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
CraftSbury

y
The donation at Collinsville was sue
cess. Proceeds were S55.
The Somerville lumber company has
sold the Shannon farm to Bay Simpson
of this village.
Frank Gains and Ethel Ainsworth left
Wednesday for Hardwick, where they
!, s,aa .a,,,. u d, roSide St6N'~oEf Es1y
Mrs. Manville Grant, who was confined
to the bed by illness the first of this
week, is improving. 39f
Mrs. Soule of Iowa arrived in town last
week to spend the winter with her sister
in-law, Matte Soule.
Mrs. Francis Stratton has gone to VOL
colt to spend some weeks with her daugh-
ter, Mrs. james Withers. D
Mrs. Nellie Uric. accompanied by her
daughter, Blanche, came from the Mary
Fletcher Hospital Thursday much i'm
proved.
A banquet will be served in the new
club rooms in the Keir Block to all the
young men in town Saturday evening.
The dedication of the rooms will also
take place.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
North HYDE Park

II. w. Croker was in Morri sville las
Saturday.
Miss Josie Mudgett is reported to bt
improving.
Nathan Jones is slowing improving af-
ter his serious illness.
Several from this place attended the
dance at Eden last Friday night.
Haven Ballard went to Burlington last
Saturday night for short visit.
The many friends of Leon Bailey are
glad to see him in his store again after
illness.
There will be dance at Valley Hall,
Friday evening, February 7. Also the
annual Washington Birthday ball, Feb
ruary 2lst. See particulars Later.
The entertainment given by the julius
Caesar Nayphe last Monday evening was
we'll attended. Mr.. Maybe i, very in
teresting and instructive speaker. The
speaker appeared in oriental costume.
The senior class of the L. G. A. will
give their popular play "Just for Fun"
at this place on Friday evening next.
The play is a good one and is well ren
dered and an evening of fun is assured.
Give them full house.
The st. Johnsbury District meeting of
the International Advent Christian Con-
ference will Cd. W be held with the A.
c, Church at North Hyde Park, begin
ming Thursday, January 80. 1870 p. M,
holding over Sunday, February 2. A
cordial invitation is extended to all.
Everybody come. Seats free.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Room at the Top

Adelbert r. Whaley, manager OF the
Grand Central Terminal aud general
superintendent of the electric division oil
the New York Central and Hudson River
Railroad, was elected yesterday operat
ing Vice-Presdent of the New York, New
Haven & Hartford Railroad.
Thirty-four years ago Mr., Whaley was
freight brakeman drawing $1,62 day
from the old Providence and Worcester
Railroad. He was sixteen years old then
He was good brakeman at 81 62, and
he was as dilligent and efficient in the
more responsible positions which he
gained by sheer force of merit There is
still room at the top for a $1.62 a day
man who is bigger than his job.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Cady's Falls

| Jay Sherwood recently took trip to
| Northtield.
There will be dance at the hall next
Frid ~ night.
Mis- Alice Amsden was recent visit
! or al Oscar Sherwin's.
Henry Terrill has bought the James
Jewett farm in Hyde Park.
Miss Elsie Stearns of Johnson was a
guest at w. S. New combs over Sunday.
@ Miss Vivian Douglass from Stowe Wis
tied friends in this place the past week.
A. H. Calkins and wife and Frank
Calkins visited at j. j. Gilmore's last
Sunday.
Mrs. Geo. Rublee and daughter of
Hardwick visited at Oscar Sherwin's the
last of the week.
Mrs. E. M. Davis and Mrs. j. H. Clark
from Hardwick visited their mother, Mrs.
Emily Town, the past week.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Mark Twain in satiricaI IIumor

Even the cleverest and most per.
feet circumstantial evidence is likely
to be at fault. after all, and therefore
ought to be received with great eau.
ton" said the late Mark Twain.
Take the case of any pencil sharp
ened by any woman. If you have wit.
nesses, you will find she did it with
a knife; but if you simply take the
aspect of the pencil, you will say she
did it with her teeth"
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Garfield

Fred jack on has finished work for
Harry Bailey.
D. H. Bedell was business visitor in
this place Friday. ....-...-
Harry Bailey and wife visited friends
in Morrisville Saturday.
Miss Alice Holbrook of Centerville was
a guest of Mrs. G. Nj. Davis over Sunday.
Clarence Clapper sawed forty cords of
four feet wood in this neighborhood in
five hours last week.
Mrs. C. NJ. Davis and son Charles at
tended the lecture at the town hall in
Morrisvile last Sunday.
John Leclair and wife, of Morrisville,
were guests at the home of Lewis Leclair
and family the first of the week.
Don't forget that there will be religious
services at the Garfield schoOlhouse on
Sunday next, February 2nd, at 1890 am.
There will be dance at Cady's Falls,
Friday evening, January 81. Everybody
invited. Good Accommodations for the
teams.
Some of the farmers are putting up
their ice for next summers use. They
are getting it at b. J. Taylor's pond-it
is some seventeen inches thick and OF
fine quality.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
CARROLL S. PAGE President II NJ. MCFARLAND Vice-Pres.
SETH A. FIFE, ARBA A. PIKE, r. w. HULBURD,
Russell s. PAGE, d. FL. SCRIBNER
WOLCOTT

Frank Benson is ill from the measles
Mrs. Alger is working for Mrs. NJ. j.
| Leach.
Miss Lula Bragg is working for Mrs. Fl
L. Randall.
G. b. Groves of Hardwick was in town
Wednesday. ........
VIM. Burns spent Sunday at his home
in Middletury.
Mrs. John Freeman is convalescng fro m
her recent illness.
Mrs. Ed. Towne of Hard wick called On
friends here Saturday.
Mrs. G. L. Freeman and Don Goodwin
were in Hardwick Monday.
o. o. Hubbard and j. E. Wheeler, Jr.,
were in Morrisville Friday.
VIM Fifield has moved his family from
the Fife tenement to Cabot.
Allie Miller of Hardwick was visitor
at c. L. Browns Saturday.
Albert Goodrich and wife of Hardwick
spent Sunday at H. A. Parker's.
Mrs. W. Humphrey of Burke is expect
ed to join her husband here this week.
The attendance at the NJ. E. Sunday
School Jan. 26 was SO. collection $1.06
Melvin Richal dson and family visited
friends in Albany the last of the week.
j. D. Martin and wife of Hardwck
were visitors at r. NJ. Hubbelrs Sunday.
E. A. Hastings of the north part of the
town transacted business here Tuesday.
The town auditors have posted the
notices of their meeting to be held Feb. 1.
Leona Perkins concludes her engage
ment at Cogswell's and Mudgett's this
week.
p. S. Scribner and wife, now of Under
hill, but formerly of this town. are the
guests OF friends here.
Mrs. A, V. Cooper and children of Bur-
lington are expected to join Mr.. Cooper
here the last of the week.
George Baker has moved his family
from the Cogswell- Mudgett tenement to
Moses Besau's on Town hill.
o. o. Hubbard who has been employed
at Pinehurst. S. c., for several weeks, re-
turned home last Thursday.
Several from here attended the install
lation of the officers of the NJ. W. A.
Camp of Hardwick Tuesday evening.
Earl Whittemore of Cady's Falls was a
caller at the home of his father, S. C.
Whttermore, the last of the week.
Fred Arndt and wife, recent guests at
S. c. Whittemore's, are passing the week
at Earl Whittemore's at Cady's Falls.
Dan Houghton and family of Wood
bury are stopping at J. N. Colgrove's
during the latter's absence in Burlington.
J. n Colgrove and wife went Monday
to Burlington, where Mrs. Colgrove will
enter the Mary Fletcher Hospital for an
operation for appendicitis.
Charles Mahan of Sunapee, N. H., was
arrested last Wednesday evening by Sher
iff w. w. Spalding and taken to Hyde
Park. He was brought back for hearing
Friday morning, States Attorney Maurice
of Morrisville prosecuting, and pleaded
guilty to the first offence of intoxication
and was fined So and costs. Funds not
being available he was committed to Jail
for 20 days.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
ElnnOre

Henry Kaiser is i'll from the grip.
Evelyn Camp is Ill from tonsilitis.
Wallace Kidder underwent an opera
ton on his throat last Thursday.
Mrs. Bert May has been caring for her
sister, Mrs. F. A. Robinson, the pas
week.
Don't forget the whist party at the
town hall Thursday evening. Everybody
invited. Prizes given. Admission 10cents.
The schoolchildren enjoyed very
pleasant social Friday evening at the
schoolhouse, given by their teacher, Miss
Eta Smith.
The village school closed Friday. The
pupils having no absent marks were Vera
and Irma Hull, Bernice Bailey, Kenneth
aud Orlo Kaiser. Wayne and Wendell
Spaulding, Basil Woolcutt, Leon Wilt
shire and Glenn Hall. Charlotte Camd
was absent one half day.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

VERMONT GIVES UP HANGING. -Crinii-
nails sentenced to death in the state of Yer
mont will be executed hereafter by cleo
tricity instead of hanging. The change
was made on the favorable vote of both
branches of the Legislature and the bill
has now been signed by Gov. Fletcher.
Arthur Bosworth, convicted for the
murder of Mabel Labelle, will be the last
man to drop through the trap. He was
to be hanged today but the Governor re-
prived him until January 2, 1914.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Vermont Bankers Meeting

The annual meeting of the Vernon
State Bankers Association will be held
at Rutland, Feb. 81, 1913.
Further notice will be given as soon as
speakers are obtained and other arrange
ments completed.
The date however should be kept in
mind and every bank be as well repre-
scented as possible at this important
meeting.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
HYDE Park Center

! Mr.. K. c. Clapper is visiting relatives
in Highgate.
Miss Lizzie Foye is visiting relatives
in Hardw wick.
Clyde Jewett, who has been quite ill
for the last few days, is little better.
Miss Grace Heath of North Hyde Pa k
is spending few days with her aunt, G..
V. Jewett.
Albert, youngest son of Mr.. and Mrs.
A. M. Whitcomb, is suffering from Sc
we're fall on the stone steps.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Eden Mills

File skating on the Lake.
Town politics are beginning to sizzle.
Representative Brown is making good
at Montpelier.
Misses Majorie and Mildred Bundy re-
turned from Johnson Saturday.
That Dorcas dinner drew a big crowd
at the Mills. Thirty-tive partood of the
fine spread prepared by the ladies.
Burton Wescom. aged 7 yrs, and W al
lace Hayford, aged 6, attended school 2S
weeks without mark. Where can this
be equalled ?
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

No inaugural ball, no inaugural recep-
ton, no parade of the suffragists under
the command of General Rosalie Jones at
the Inauguration of Woodrow Wilson.
The ceremonies on March will be tame
and spirtless enough. but SO far as can
be learned, no one objects to the exhibit
ton of Democratic simplicity but Wash
ington, which profits by an elaborate
display when President isnducted into
office
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Never Too Far.

We need not be afraid that we shall
go too far in the walk of active love.
is no Danger that any of us will ever
go OTTO far in the walk of active love.
There is no likelihood that any of US
will become too bountiful too kind,
TOO helpful to his neighbour. c..
Hare,
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

The Moiles auction last Saturday was
well attended. The farm was not Sold
but the personal property sold we'll.
O. N. Campbell was in Hardwick last
Thursday to see his brother Evere tt, " no
is laid up with result of severe fall.
He is getting better.
Next Sunday afternoon Rev. R. H.
Trill will preach in the school house at
three O'Clock. Prof. Crosby will also be
present and conduct the music. All are
invited to attend this service.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
L9)n0ILLE COUNTY SgYIyGS Bank
AND TRUST COMPANY
HYDE PARK, VERMONT
FINANCIAL STATEMENT JANUARY |, 1918
ASSETS
LIABILITIES
$2,515,91O.9S
$2,515,91O.99

Note that the Surplus and Undivided Profits are S9734235
This taken in connection with the padp capital O0OOO
and the stockholders liability of$5OO00 guarantee
of S197 342 80 for the protection of depostors
before the dpositor could lose dollar the bank would have
make losses aggregatng $197 34235. The mpossbv
least the great mprobab of any such loss by
fact that the years of the banks
lost dollar by poor and far possible
human judgment determine the bank does
note stock, poor bond poor
and the policy of the bank
day Absolute safety rather than the higher that
could obtain by taking risks the unvayng this bank
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

Gov. Foss of Massachusetts knows all
about the good qualities and fitness Of
that Vermont Democrat, Col. Scott, who
now holds the position of superintendent
of prisons in New York, and is trying to
get him to take similar job in Massa-
chusetts AS the colonel doesn't want
bosses to interfere with his duties we
would not be surprised if he accepted.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

S. HOLSTER Jackson has resigned from
the public service commission. He says
the resignation is in order that he might
give more attention to his private bust
ness and also "a dissatisfaction with the
lack of accomplishment of some things
essential to the public good" Mr. Jack
son has been on the board for several
years and was valuable member thereof
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

An alien who applied for naturalization
papers, when questioned as to his knowl-
edge of American history, declared that
he had never heard of Theodore Roose-
welt. Though he did not become clti
zen, niche in the hall of fame is reserved
for this candidate who knows not one OF
Americas most famous institutions.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

IfGov. Fletcher is looking about for a
good Democrat to put on the Public Ser
vice Commission. and we think it ought
to be a nou-partisan board, he can hnd
no man better qualified, or stocked with
good horse sense, in that party, than
Harvey w. Varnum of Jacksonville.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

Brer Whitehill of the Waterbury Rec
ord, in spite OF the compliments heape d
upon him by the state press, pleads mot
guilty" to the statement that he has
been elected treasurer of the Waterbury
savings bank. So long as that excellent
official, W. B. Clark, can be retained as
treasurer of that institution Whitehill is
content with the treasurershIp OF the
Vermont Press Association.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Brush Hill

Mary Stebbins closed her school in
Brownsville Friday.
/ Geo. Brush and wife were callers at
Scion Hayford's Friday.
Misses Mary Stebbins and Hattie Brown
called on Mrs. S. j. Hayford Friday night.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29

The salary OF William IL. Taft, as Kent
professor of law at Yale University, will
be So, 900 year. This is somewhat less
than his present pay, but freedom from
the turmoil of politics and from criticism,
and congenial employment in an atmos-
phere suited to his tastes and tempera-
ment, will be some compensation.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Sexual Difference

A woman is afraid she'll eet
snance to be tempted, and a man that
ne won't.-New York Press.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
GETTING There.

The fellow who gets there doesn't
depend so much on inspiration as on
perspiraton.-Phila Record.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1913-01-29
Words of a True Patriot.

Fifty me not. l am happier than
Iou;, for ! am fighting to be FREE
Francis Marion.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1913-06-27
FRANK TRIAL SET
FOR NEXT MONDAY

Atlanta Factory Superintendent t to
Face Court on Charge of Murder
of Employe.
Atlanta, June 24.-The trial of
Leo M. Frank on charge of mur-
dering Mary Phagan, the 14-year-old
pencil factory employe is scheduled
to begin Monday, July %. This
date was formally fixed this after
noon by Superior Court Judge l.. S.
Roam, after conference with Solic-
itor General Hugh M. Dorsey and the
attorneys for the defense.
Attorneys for Frank today obtain
ed subpoenas duces tecum to be serv-
ed upon officials of the police and de-
tective departments, the solicitor
general and private detective agen-
cies, ordering them to produce in
court June 80 or any other day that
the Frank case might be on trial, all
affidavits or statements obtained
from James Conley, the negro sweep
er at the factory; Monten Slower,
Grace Hix, w. M. Mathews and Newt
Lee, the negro watchman, who are
expected to be witnesses in the trial.