New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-10
AS | WAS SAYING

INTO with M faculty. for detail. Here is Brother
George Fitch for instance writing a whole little
essay on THE Ham Sandwich when he couiu 50
easily have expressed its pr6fane nature ny spenhs
"han" correctly-that is to say with hnai H.
And here is a careless book reviewer bouncing on
eTbe Abvsmal Brute because Brother London
pugilist attends Browning lectures between nights
Whereas this is a thing to encourage. More than
once at a Browning lecture, we have longed tor
the presence Of a pugst. Guess he would see MS
duty in a flash, and make no bones OF doing II.
Moreover there is tho case Of that laundering
story teller who came out, the other day. with the
following:
"Where did you learn FrcnchY' PariSicnh'
asked a New York woman at the RITZ.
prom a native" the proud reply
"Abr" said madame "A native Of WHAT
Oh careless! We know madame a lot better than
that In reality her tribute to the Ne" 1orK
womans French was, Sorry but dohl u'uei-
stand German
But YOU must not conclude that your French is
always n safe means OF conceang your thoughts
when in France Benjamin Franklin tried H. "hHe
dining the lost Dauphn at Voisin's he got I'M
patient with the waiter. To avoid worse trouble TIC
used his college French in apologizng to his guest
PRANK" said he, feeling secure though the
waiter overheard, Il desolated. Receive my
sentiments distangay, and believe that dlu i'o'
know about this garkon stopped
Nong Doc they are clever, those Partisan walt
ers, Selling a carafc. this one roared; "Begorry'
II yez say that again III break yer face. Ana
Bancroft in recording the incident adds leeNhsV'
BENJAMIN got over it, but he never looked the
same"
There is desperate activity among the philoso-
phers as We see by the headline, origin OF chickens
a Matter Of Dispute" though We are not too much
disturbed ours came from esgs. Far more seFl-
GUS we think IS the philosophic question concern
ing the origin Of man. Quiet these weeks u mas
broken loose again in Professor Wrishts new
book.
Great question, As Josiah Flynt used TO observe
Here we are dignined monkeys. and how are we
going 10 square IT with the nebular hypothesis.
4 cheerful philosopher was Josiah. heaps joiner
than the sage who declared Human self-conscious-
ness was the unfortunate accident of evolution
Was. was it? Just listen to Professor Wright;
whether man was d nero scientific sport or was
assisted to his cminence by divine intervention Is
a question for philosophy. That It was by divine
Intervention viii be the NeFuCI Oh HVS' s"''o "'''
candid minds"
Bully for the professor! We do not enjoy con-
siderng ourself an accidental sport unfortunate
or otherwise It recalls what Copernicus said Of
his esteemed, but loathed. competitor: There goes
old man Galileo-exampIe Of Gods carelessness.
,The play that will reform the world the adj
vertsemcnt ram but it looks like vice versa 80
glad. We consider The Lure deviIish per-
Torrance. shameful and without excuse. We have
not it,
Polite and polished Miss Roberts has prepared
yolumnous "Ency clopGdia OF Social Usage AS Is
doubtless wise. We rarely approve OF ucaunS
vast subject too succnctly. Indeed we are fussy
on that point. and have never appauded the lady
who wrote: How to tell gentleman? Easy!
Look at his boots
ON the other hand. We recognize that whole
encyclopedia Of social usage sometimes ne COM
pactcd into a single sentence, thus:
But if he hits you the head,
You may be sure he's not well bred"
How our heart bccds for poor dear Or. HamiI-
ton Rice. 1t is a terrible tale he brings back from
the hcadwaters Of the Amazon. Think OF eating
smoked ape! Pretty uucongenia. We should fancy
and yet, the way things going. who knows how
soon we shall be eating funnicr diet than that?
Prepare for the worst, brethren! They arc re-
ducing the tariff.
Thus far our jewels are SAFE though practically
everybody's have been stolen and it is great
hardship TO the passionate press agent For
merly. he could write up batch of jewel thefts,
leaving blanks for the actresses names, and go
a-Gsbing See him now! All day long he drudges, |
ipyenting new sensations.
But brethren, don't you think he overdoes 1t?
Personally We call IT needless shock when we
read with eyes bulging. "TrXie Tennyson Likes
Handsome Gowns" Diamond Dizzldae Affects !
Broiled Live Lobster and "Emersonetta Flynn Is
Bothered by the Heat"
Another comet-Mctcafs, this time-is headed
straight for us, and if you listen YOU will hear
great silence. 1t proceeds from the astronomers.
They remember Haleys comet and how it cut
up, and are resolved not to put their feet in it too
prophetcaly till they some evidence that
Brother Mctcalf knows how to manage his.
Il. H. H. |