davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
PITY the Blond.

While love may be the greatest
thing in the world-and it is so pro-
claimed in song, story, and the casual
'jollies" of moonlight nights-it is
just as we'll that in hot weather love
should give way to one of the less
intense psychic activities-sympathy
This thought makes particular appeal
TO the reader of the latest official hot
weather hints, those of DR.. w. c.
Rucker, OF the Public Health and Ma
rine Hospital Service.
'Blonds are more susceptible of
heat than brunettes," DR.. Rucker as
serts. Let none of us be led away
into the realms of speculation by the
doctors explanation that blends are
rich in chemical ether waves" Let
us rather keep to the main fact that
they are more susceptible of heat. If
We must put to them chemical blends
If we may so designate-as to the
less sensitive brunettes the cruel ques-
ton, rs it hot enough for you?" at
least let US voice our inquiry as gently
as possible. Might we not subtly
paraphrase, is your wealth of chem
ical ether waves sufficiently oppres-
sive today" This would be we'll.
This would. be a good start toward a
general sympathy with our fellow suf-
ferers. This would be a first step
toward a realization that every COM
plant of our own about the heat,
whether addressed to blond or bru-
nette, has but the one effect-to in
crease the discomfort and distress of
the auditor.
OF course, all the best authorities
on small talk concur in the theory
that the weather is the safest" topic
of conversation. Even the modern
weather bureau has not so definitely
fixed the responsibility for the weather
as to render any of its assailants
liable to rebuke But however safe"
as topic the weather is, it is dis
tinctly unhealthful. Let us, when we
would speak of the heat, pause long
enough to ascertain whether our con-
versational victim is a blond.
Having paused so long, let US pause
longer and either hold our peace or
say something else than is it hot
enough for you?" As an inquiry for
fact that interrogatory calls for evi
dence that is irrelevant, incompetent,
and immaterial. As a salutation it is
challenge to contentiousness. As a
remark it is inane, and bespeaks an
idle, motionless mind. Pity the blond
with his richness of chemical ether
waves and keep your heat to your
self. Likewise extend your compass
sion to the brunette.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

eyes shining in the darkness. Makes
me SILVER now when / think of them.
You may think I'm foolish. but you
ought to we seen EN-. ia be walking
along. and whisk! out would dart a
cat with long claws and big green
eyes. and 1t would hiss at me. Ugh!"
What did you ever do about them?"
pursued Elmer Paine. casually.
''Oh, they got 70 wild we couldn't do
a thing with them and We had to set a
lot of steel traps and catch them the
same as you would wolves"
Elmer's story was still growing.
And then what do you suppose hap
pened?" went on the nightwatchman
Give 1t up" said Elmer.
'.why, the s. P. c. A. Society got
wind of it somehow-never was able to
find out how-and they raised the very
old Ned about US using steel traps on
those cats Said it was cruelty to amir
mails, you understand, and I guess they
were about to have Secretary Carlisle
arrested. He had busy time of It
keeping the thing out of the papers
can tell you"
BY that time Elmer had a sure-enough
yarn. And not a word of 1t had ever
been made public. He lost no time get
ting to his Office and putting the story
Sunday page and he not only sent 1t
to the Ohio paper he represented, but
syndicated II to papers in nearly all the
big cities throughout the country. All
were glad to pay real money for it From
the big city papers II was copied and re-
copied until II had been printed in prac-
tically every newspaper in the United
States and many papers abroad. More
over. when the checks began to arrive,
Elmer Paine found that he had cleaned
VI several hundred dollars.
Just about the time he was wondering
what to do with the little nest egg he
had picked up. he CHANGED to be talking
to John Sherman, who mentioned the
great chance for a small investor in
certain piece Of unimproved Washing
ton real estate. Elmer put all the money
from his rat. cat, trap tale in real estate
and at the end of a year found himself
with real stake-enough to buy himself
nice home, a horse and buggy and
things. That rat that went scampering
across his ONCE floor one forenoon, re-
ceiving from him sullen greetings, had
turned the trick for him.
So you see there is merry little moral
to this present tale. The moral is that
we should be kind to all dumb creatures,
not even excepting rats. No one knows
the day or the hour when the most hum
BILE rat may come as a harbinger of coed
fortune.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
Court Gossip of Interesting
Epents on Two Continents

I 1sn and retired twenty years later -
brigade surgeon.
The hrst baronet was ruined in the
6outh 9ea bubble ana sofa the TsrnaIv
estate In Aberdeenshire The second bar.
onet emigrated to North America. vber.
he was elected chief OF the Chsrokee
Indians. 1t was his absence from Eng.
land which led to the supposition that
the baronetcy was extinct. But. In ISL.
It was assumed by Sir Kenneth Cum
mings.
The house which now IL represented
| by the Marquis Of Lansdowne ana Lord
Fitxmaurice had its origin In William
Petty. son Of Hampshire eiothier. The
first Lord Eidon was the son Of New.
castle coal dealer, who commenced life
" clipping with the daughter Of New.
castle banker. Later he was called to
the British bar. and his brilliant work
rapidly gained for him the seat on the
woolsack.
It Is the fashion in certain circles to
twit Lord Darlington, one Of the prime
movers in the Small Holdings movement.
with his sympathies for the working
man. The scoffers rarely get the best
Of the encounter. however. for the Rad
ical earl. to a good humcr that Is sell
dom ruined, adds a ready wit that II sell
dom at fault.
II was one myself two or three genera
tons ago." is his reply. Which In quite
| true. for the founder of his family was
John Smith, q respectable dry goods
merchant of Nottingham.
To these examples of peers who in
days long by-gone have sprung from the
people can be added quite number OF
men who during recent years have won
peerages by reason of their great bust
ness capabilities.
Lord Davenport, for instance, started
/ life as the son Of an Uxbridge car
| penter, with very little money. At the
| age of twenty-one he went into business
| on his own account. Resolute and de-
voted to work. ne forged ahead until.
| as Mr.. Hudson Kearley, he became the
partner in a great tea importing hrm.
| being made baronet in 1903 and a peer
| two years later.
Mention might be made Of the fact
| that Lord Brsssey's father was the son
of Cheshire yeoman. who first achieved
| wealth and fame by successfully ex-
| plotting 'navvies.'' or navigators, as they
were termed, in the construction Of rail-
| way tracks. Engineers in Europe and
America sought his services, and so
| many were his undertaking that he
came to have an army Of 1900 in his
employ.
Neither must one forget that amazing
trio of captains of industry, Lords
Mountstephen. Strathcona, and Pirrie.
men who. starting on the lowest rung
| of the ladder, have astounded the world
with their wonderful capabilities. Lord
Mountstephen's father was q carpenter
in the little Banffshire town Of Duff
town. Lord Strathcona's father was a
struggling tradesman in a small way
as a saddler. while Lord Pirrie's father
died when he was quite young. and his
mother mortgaged her small savings to
educate him. These men triumphed over
all difficulties. and today figure among
the greatest in the land
FLANEUR.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
"Them SOx.o

From the Lexington, Mo. News one
learns that Uncle Sammy Williams. the
verbose paragrapher on the esteemed
Daily Advertiser. has been speaking his
mind lately about the particular pattern
of 'sox' worn by the mild-mannered edl-
tor OF the News. OF course. to an editor
who has never worn socks, hosiery of
any sort is an abomination-an expensive
luxury. But We contend that the fact
that We wear modestly striped hose Is
no more a subject for newspaper COM
ment than the fact that Editor Williams
wears no socks at ALL"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

From the indianapolis News.
The medical oficer of health for Man.
chester, England, presents evidence to
show that the working life of the people
of that city Is shortened 10 years by the
acids in smoke and the carbon particles
which invade the lungs. Surgeon ]. w
Stoner. Of the United States Public
Health Service. traces connection be-
tween smoky atmosphere and the
drinking habits Of the people. Women
living In sunless. gloomy homes attired
in somber clothes, breathing q smoke
filled atmosphere are prone to be irrita-
BILE, to scold and whip their children and
to nag their husbands. who fee to the
saloon for solace and relief. Surgeon
Stoner Is also Of the opinion that chill
dren reared In a depressing atmosphere
are dull, apathetic and even criminally
inclined. The smoke problem ID still
importag
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
WITH THE MOVIES,

WITH THE MOVIES.
A soldier Of the legion lay pierced by
foeman's steel.
As things befell.
The lad got we'll
1t made a lovely reel
Maud Muller in the meadow lot was
busy raking hay.
Young people 90
To such a show.
Such nearly always pay.
The boy stood on the burning deck; de.
fed a hostile realm.
He knew his trade
And really made
A most exciting film.
The village blacksmith piled his sledge;
q scene OF peaceful bliss
And now and then
The worst of men
Like pictures such as this.
The Amateur Gardeners.
you seem to display more respect for
Wombat than you had"
Yes; I used to think he was a bone
than mine"
His Revenge.
Then you won't marry mer'
mo: but I'll be a sister to you"
Il can suggest a better scheme than
that Let me call you mother"
Then he made a quick getaway.
Way Ii Goes.
81 give you ten days extra" said the
Judge, ''for telling me lies"
Il didn't suppose you minded a few
lies. yer honor" responded the tramp.
They went all right from them felIers
that wanted to dodge gittin' on a jury"
A Pampered Pet.
Dame Fortune on her smiled
Throughout a lengthy life.
She was an only child;
Also an only wife.
The Summer Boarder,
Beautiful view from here. don't you
Think said the farmer
Might be-" growled the srouchv
boarder. 'ff those windows were
scrubbed"
A Particular Customer.
You are very young to be registered
Pharmacist" said the lady with the mas
sive jaw. II wish the proprietor to wait
on me and not any young clerk"
Where is your prescription" inquired
the proprietor. coming forward.
Il have no prescription. What 1 want
Is hve 2-cent postage stamps"
A Swift Pnce.
The afternoon papers come out before
reakfast in New York.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

front porch until bed time, smoking a
pipe. The Thermometer may stand at
100 but he Is so much cooler than he was
during the day that life Is pleasant to
him and he Is perfectly satisfied with
the administration.
The first method Of keeping cool costs
about 1000 IL economy is used. The sec
ond can be done for half the amount. Tho
third doesn't cost anything and usually
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
C0EWAY's BIG ONION,

South Carolina Truck Grower Raise.
One IS Inches in Circum ference.
Conway Is. CO. Dispatch to Charleston New, and
Observer.
Harrison johnson. a truck farmer. who
lives near here. has brought to town pos
sibly the largest onion that has ever
been grown in the county. The root OF
the plant measured eighteen inches in
circumference and weighed twenty-four
ounces. 1t was on exhibition at one of
the mercantile stores of the town during
the day. and attracted the attention of
many townspeople, who expressed them
selves as to Its being the largest they
had ever seen. This particular plant was
taken from q bushel which johnson
brought to market. all of which aver
aged more than a pound each.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

And now We suppose the property own
ers around Gettysburg will begin filing
their claims against the government.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

We are inclined to agree with those
who believe that Mr.. Edison never would
have invented the photograph IL he
hadn't been deaf.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

The new excise law does not affect
the grape-juice parlors. A number of
them are open all night long. and on
Sundays. too.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

You may say what you please. but II
was real mean in President Wilson and
his Cabinet to go of and leave Congress
with the bag to hold. 0
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

need next winter? The gold miners in
South Africa are on a strike.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

The Methodist church at Pwllheli
Wales. was burned Thursday. No: We
don't know how to pronounce Pwllheh.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

There is a Michigan newspaper that is
see its makeup.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
Whatever They Say.

komain ROLAND.
And music, whatever people say. il not
. universal language; the bow OF words|
il necessary to send the arrow Of sound
into the hearts OF men.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

npe.
brings in about e day. This 10 Why the
descendants Of the people who are keep
ing cool by the frst two methods will
some day adopt the third method: while
the descendants Of the calm man. who
decorates the porch in his shirt sleeves,
viii toll manfully all day to keep cool
by the FIRST two methods and will give
it up as bad lob at night and soak
their pillows with high priced perspirs-
ton.
Counsht M. b. csuys MsxAw AAan,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

That fellow Lamar-f that is his name
seems to have been a very truthful liar.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07
A Particular Customer.

The afternoon papers come out Def
breakfast in New York.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

(Note-rhis 10 the first Of 4 little series Of article
by Fred C. Kelly dealing with experiences Of yruui
nent newspaper men,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-07

His Revenge.
Then you won't marry mer
NO: but I'll be a sister to you"
Il can suggest a better scheme than
that Let me call you mother"
Then he made a quick getaway.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10
Missouri Man Saw
Thomas Jefferson

An interesting Thomas Jefferson
story comes from Missouri. Judge
Thomas ]. c. Fagg. former member OF
the Missouri supreme court. saw JEFF
ferson. can remember him. and Judge
Fagg is still living.
Judge Fagg was born on a farm that
adjoined Jefferson's famous Monticello
and he tells the story OF a visit made
by the author OF the Declaration OF
independence to his fathers home:
.One day Mr.. Jefferson came to our
home in a big French landau with his
nephew. Thomas Jefferson Randolph,
and said to my father, I've been look
ing over to your place through my
spyglass, as do every day to see what
you were going to have for dinner.
When / saw 1t was to be hog jow1 and
turnip green's I told jeff. my nephew
here, to have the rig hitched up He
added that he was in favor of having
turnip greens made legal tender"
The most interesting feature Of the
incident is that the last man who saw
Jefferson living, has lived long enough
to see Jeffersonian democracy take on
a new lease of life.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10
VOx POPULI.
ANDREWS SAYS PROPOSED
STATE is UNCONSTiTUTIONA

Tallahassee, F'la-s May z, 1913.
Editor Pensacola. Journal.
There has been a great deal Of COM
ment of late in reference to dividing
the state and creatingt the state of
West Florida. 1t appears from the
newspape rs that some think that all
this legislature would have to do is
to pass the measure and the state
will be divided, and others say that.
in addition to this, congress will have
to consent and the new state will be
created upon it's adoption of the con-
stitution.
The writer has looked for some one
to raise the other side of the question
as to its legality and had not taken
the matter seriously until recently
when it seems that many of our legis-
lators are saying that such thing
could be done. No doubt it has been
rather unique method of advertis-
ing West Florida and the idea is a
good one for that purpose. The writer
believes that any lawyer of fair ability
will agree that the second clause of
Section of Article w of the consti-
tuition of the United States directly
prohibits the creation of state with
in the jurisdiction of another state.
Section of Article w of the Con-
stitution reads as follows:
New States may be admitted by
the Congress into this union; but no
new states shall be formed or erected
within the jurisdiction of any other
state; nor any state be formed by the
junction of two or more states or parts
of states, without the consent of the
legislatures of the states concerned as
well as of the Congress"
1t will be seen that the second clause
(underlined) of the above section is
separate and distinct from the clause
proceeding it or the one after it. 1t
will also be remembered that West
Virginia is the only exception in our
history in that 1t was created within
the original state of Virginia, but it is
matter of history that this was
purely a war measure. Woodrow Will
son in his History of the American
People" says that it was admitted and
created without regard to the consti-
tuition. North and South Dakota were
created from the territory of Dakota
and not from the state of Dakota
These are mentioned for the reason
that they have been suggested as the
instances where states have been
created within other states. 1t is be-
lieved that the Madison papers win
show that one of the chief objections
raised by. the smaller colonies to COM
ing into the union when the constitu-
ton was being formed was that n big
state like Pennsylvania or New York
might divide up into several states
and in a measure control the United
States senate. The southern states
might divide UP into several petty
states and control congress upon ques-
tons of tariff and slavery
If West Florida is ever to be created.
IL viii have to be by the junction OF
another state or part OF another state.
c. o. ANDREWS.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10


said she wouldn't marry a man with
out e title. SO he went and got one.
He now has the title H. D.-meaning
boss doctor.
/ see that a specialist out in Kan
sas City says that men with blue
eyes make the most unreliable hus-
bands. but I have seen a good many
reliable husbands with eyes that were
black and blue.
A Teller who INDUCES in the insid-
ious habit of playin' a slide trombone
can't be too careful Mr.. Anry Hicks,
of our village, who plays the sliphorn
with the Silver Cornet band, was
bangin away on 1.-THE Stars and
Stripes Forever" the other evening
during a concert and when he reach
ed for a low note and shot his arm
out like Luther McCarty jabbin' at
AL Palzer's jaw, the end of the slide
caught on a $40 bunnit on the head of
Mrs. Lemuel Higgins, who was sitting
in the first row and yanked 1t from
her head, also about a half bushe1 of
store hair. When Lem got through
with Amry ninteen folding chairs were
laid up for repairs and the artistic at
mosphere of the concert was entirely
broken up.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10

feel better than l have for years. ]
recommend Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound to all who suffer as l
did. - Mrs. M. ZEUNER, 1045 New Jer-
sey Street, Lawrence, Kansas.
Montana WOman's Case.
Burns, Mont. Lydia E. Pinkham 8
Vegetable Compound cured me of awful
backache which | had suffered with for
months. was so weak could hardly do
my work and my head and eyes ached al
the time. Your Compound helped me
in many ways and is great strength
ener. / always recommend it to my
friends and tell them what grand med
icine it is for women. You may use my
name for the good of others. Mrs.
JOHN FRANCIS, Burns, Montana.
The makers of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound have thousands of
such letters as those above-they tell
the truth, else they could not have been
obtained for love or money. This med
icine is no stranger - it has stood the
test for years.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10
SATURDAY. MAY 10. 1913.
To Control
Flood Waters.

The last disastrous break in the
levees on the lower Mississippi river
only serves to accentuate the grave
importance OF the problem OF controil-
ing the flood waters in the great GEN.
trail valleys of the country. The best
engineering talent In the country should
be put to work on this problem and
never quit until 1t is solved. The loss
OF life and propertysis too great and
too appalling for the government to
sit supinely by and see a recurrence
OF these disasters year after year.
government that can conquer the
miasmatfc influence of the tropics and
successfully dig the Panama canal,
can doubtless devise some means to
keep the flood waters of the great
rivers within reasonable control
Under present conditions, the loss
of life and the destruction of property
is a serious drain on the resources of
the country.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10

Russia's course in advising Monte
negro to abandon Seutari and sub
nit to the demands of the powers has
lessened the likelihood of a European
war. Montenegro's defiance of Aus
tria came from the belief that in case
of trouble with her big neighbor on
the north she would have the aid of
Russia. Now that there is no longer
any hope of getting help from this
quarter, 1t is believed that Montene-
gro will submit to the demands of
the powers.
Observers of the situation are agreed
that Russia's present attitude means
the Slav has abandoned his attempt
to hold a port on the Adriatic.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1913-05-10

The shop girl stepped from the side
door of the great department store and
was surrounded by a group of highly
educated investigators armed with
notebooks. She was not surprised.
They seemed to be there always, says
the Cleveland Plain Dealer
Have you" began the first inquisi-
tor.
What salary" interrupted the sec
ond.
Can you live honestly" demanded
the third.
Your home life"
Your dull drudgery-"
your problem Of living"
The shop girl rudely crowded them
aside.
Jaw. move on" she sarcastically
suggested. You make me tired"