Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-01-05


foundation for the cocktail ~
has enjoyed for more than two SHS3a
thousand years the reputation
of history's greatest diner-out
and banqueteer. But the capt.
tai of this productive country has in its midst every
winter ocks of dnersout who make the feats and feas
of Lucuus look like the Indifferent peckngs of weak
and delicate canary bird. Roughly speaking there
two classes of men in Washington, those who rally
round the grooming board every night and those who
groan home because they have not the price of suit
of evening clothes. The giving OF dinners IN cities like
New York, Chicago, and San Francisco is diversion:
In the national capital it is an industry, ornamented
ALWAYS bv orchestras Senators, and Representatives.
with the President as the chief decoration. Many OF
these banquets beauted further by the presence
of those who want political faors done tor them ana
the wan smiles of those who do the favors if they will
The of these sunptuous upholstered and cere-
entertainments out to the newspapers
consisting of dozen kinds of food and seven kinds
of and drinks but in reality they can be reduced
to this formula: hot food-hot a1r-cold food-hot
air-hot food-hot air-hotter air. Washington can
produce an inestmabe number of reasons for giving
banquets. The hunger or thirst of band Of men is
the real In the first place has been cal
cuated that there held in this lovely city more
than three hundred and sixtyve conventions year,
and ANYBODY with the least measure of commonsense
knows how absurdly impossible it is to with
out dining. There political gatherings, meetings of
State and national committees conferences of political
leaders from various States, andoh we gods! most
plentiful of all-the banquets of State clubs, whose
members, with fork in hand and thoughts of home in
mind tell between mouthfulS what tragedy it is to
have to live in Washington and bite off chunk of the
government payroll every month instead of being back
in the woods in the dear old place where everybody
born and nobody remained except those who had to.
p IGHT at the beginning it should be pointed out
~ that many of the men who attend these benches
and bumpers of refreshmen dragooned into it. For
instance Joseph G. Cannon, formerly Speaker of the
House. is helpless in the matter If there night
when he refuses invitation the members of the
mittee on invitations bearing long and trusty shutter
on their shoulders call at his house and kdnap him.
The result is that he jumps from board to board like
angora goat. But that he is crafty for he always
eats dinner at home before leaping into his evening
clothes for the encounter with the food done up brio
a-brac by an imported chef. The trouble with Uncle
Toe is that he an excellent speaker and
that all the banqueteers having eaten themselves into
a state that would lead you to believe they had fed
exclusively morphine and chlorotorm, like to be
walked up by his wit just before they go home
The Hon. Nicholas Longworth is another victim.
Whenever he is at dinner where the orchestra includes
piano, admiring friend rises solernny, occasion
ally soggy his feet about eleven o'clock and cries
OUT
"Nick play us that little thing you played last Tues
day night at that other dinner'
And, if there is piano. obligng individual
forces violin under his chin and makes him perform
that.
Senator Burton of Ohio is another statesman who
o'clock punching the studs into stlff-bOsomed shirt
preparatory to wandering out into the wilderness OF
banquets that await him. He however, has double
duty to perform; for he is bachelor, quiet, soft
spoken, and full of money and he invited to all the
places where are included in the gatherings.
President Taft has travelled all this country
several times and he struck town without being
hurled into automobile and guided by proud COM
mttee to the head of table ornamented by the dish
for which that particular town is famous He has
been forced to eat the Opossum of Georgia. the fish of
San Francisco the ham of Virginia, and all the other
special edbles OF the various sections of the United