davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
COULDN'T BE TOO CAREFUL
Modern Method by Which Prudent
Father Guards His Daughters
Future Happiness.
Your habits are good?"

Your habits are good?" .
The prominent millionaire looked
keenly at the young nan who had APP
piled for the hand of his daughter.
YES, sir" came the firm reply. Il
rarely play bridge after midnight,
never gamble in Wall street, and make
a point of staying home at least n
night a week"
Have you a good disposition"
Fine. | can live with my sister for
hours at a time"
You are in good health?"
Excellent"
You love my daughter"
"Passionately."
What are your assets?"
The young man handed him a pa
per on which appeared a list of his
properties. The prominent millionaire
looked 1t over carefully.
You are prepared to c%orroborate
this?"
Certainly, sir"
The prominent millionaire reached
forward and shook hands cordially.
My dear boy" he said, Il am per
fectly satisfied and only hope you will
pardon me for being so particular. But
you see, l want to be quite sure that
when you have married my little girl
after her divorce, you will be able to
support her in the same style in which
she is now living with her present hus.
band."-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Last Civil War Veterans.

was informed by the United States
pension office that the last soldier of
the Civil war will die in 1855. That is
the estimate made by those who
make a study of vital statistics. If
the last veteran survives until that
date he will have lived 80 years after
the surrender of Lee.
Kronk, who died a couple of years
ago in New York state. was the last
soldier of the War of 1872, and he
lived considerably more than 80 years
after peace had been signed. Bake
man, the last soldier Of the Revolu-
ton, lived for Sc years after the peace
of 1888.
Here is hoping that some mar who
wore the blue or gray may fool the
pension Office and round out a full
century after Appomattox!-Philadel
phia Ledger.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

and necessary travelling expenses in
the county. OF this amount the coun-
ty must raise ha%lf-$3,000. These fig
ures express the least amount to be
considered, and many counties are
planning to pay more. 1t is a wise
provision.
CO In addition to the $4,000 for
the three years, the county must also
furnish the adviser with office and
equipment, such as desk, stationery,
telephone and necessary stenographic
help. The farm adviser is required
to attend a school of instruction at
Columbia, Mo-, held especially for
his benefit. This school will con-
tinue from one to three weeks each
year. The county is expected to pay
the advisers expenses while on this
trip. Any working funds for such
items as advertising, contests, dis
plays in the office, ETC., must be fur
nished by the county. In short, the
county should allow at least $500 a
year to cover all i~ncidentals.
(8) To assist in raising and adj
ministering the incidental fund and
to be of general help to the farm
adviser there should be formed in
every county a county farm bureau.
It is this organization that is the
actual head of the farm adviser pro-
ject in the county. 1t is the members
of this bureau that the adviser works
with and through, and from this group
of men comes the spirit for better
agriculture that ultimately makes the
success of the movement.
1t should be emphasized in all cases
that under no circumstances will a
membership to the bureau a dona-
ton or a subscription in any form,
give any individual a special claim
to the services Of the farm adviser.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
T"ENDERFEET WIN
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
HILL AND soRs, THE DAT CHAM.
PioNs, ARE cocKNEYs BORN
AND BRED.

City-bred in the worlds greatest
metropolis and unframed as to things
agricultural, were ]. G. Hill and his
three boys when they settled on home
steads at Lloydminster, in the Prov.
ince of Saskatchewan western Can
ada), eight years ago. Today they
are the recognized champion oat grow
ers of the North American continent,
having won twice in succession the
silver challenge cup, valued at 81, 500.
at the Fifth National Corn exposition
Columbia, s. C. The Plate, officially
known, as the Colorado Dat trophy, is
emblematic of the grand champion
ship prize for the best bushel of oats
exhibited by individual farmers or ex-
pertinent farms at these expositions.
The Hill entry won this year in the
face of the keenest competition, hun
dreds of exhibits being sent by expe-
rienced farmers from all parts of the
United States and Canada. The oats
were grown on land which was wild
prairie less than four years ago.
When Mr.. Hill and his three sons.
who probably never saw a wider acre
age than the hills of Hampstead
Heath, or the parks of London, came
to Saskatchewan eight years ago, they
had little more capital than was re-
quired for homestead entry fees. They
filed on four homesteads, In the Lloyd
minister district, which %straddIes the
boundary of Alberta and Saskatche-
wan. They went to work with a will,
ripping the rich brown sod with break
ing plows and put In a crop, which
yielded fair returns.
They labored early and late and de-
MED themselves paltry pleasures, glad
to stand the gaff for a while in rising
to their possibilities. They talked with
successful farmers and studied crops
and conditions and profited by both.
The new life on the farm was strange
but they never lost heart, handicapped
as they were by lack of experience
and capital.
The farm house, modern in every
respect, compares favorably with any
residence in the city. The Hills have
substantial bank accounts and their
credit is gilt-edge from Edmonton to
Winnipeg and beyond.
There is nothing secret about our
methods nor is our plan copyrighted
We first made a thorough study of
climatic conditions, soil and seed"
said Mr.. Hill. eve tended our crops
carefully and gradually added live
stock, realizing from the beginning
that mixed farming would pay larger
and more certain returns than straight
grain growing. We have demonstrated
that fact to our satisfaction and the
result is that many of the farmers in
the district are following our exam
pie"
The land that the Hills work is o.
the same class as may be found any
where in Manitoba, Saskatchewan OF
Observation-Disclosures.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
No Room for Speeding.

Mr.. Atkins was driving over his
property with his daughter and 3
young man whom he was beginning
to look upon as a possible and very
desirable son-in-law.
The chauffeur, not unnatural1y, was
inclined to show off the motor car
but Mr.. Atkins himself had higher
thoughts. AS John, the chauffeur
quickened his speed, he leaned ovel
near him, and said, in a whisper:
Not so fast, John, not so fast
You make my estate look too small.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Adopting Farm Advisers
a New Plan for Agricultural Improvement in
Missouri-$25,0O 0 Is Appropriated by the State
BY D II Dan State Leader and Professor of Farm Management in the u % NJ

Less than a year ago the first coun-
ty farm adviser was appointed by the
College of Agriculture and the United
States Department of Agriculture.
Today eight counties have farm ad-
yisers and are working in co-opera-
ton with the college and government
through their state leader. They are,
IN the order of their appointments:
c. M. McWiniams, Cape Girardeau
county.
s. M. Jordan, Pettis county.
E. ". Rusk, Audrain county.
H. H. Laude, Marion county.
F. W. Faurot, Buchanan county.
G. M. Long, Johnson county.
E. j. Rodekohr, Dade county.
E. A. Ikenberry, Jackson county.
That the movement is on a perma-
nent basis ear hardly be doubted.
The state legislature at it's last ses-
sion appropriated $4,000 for the
states part of the support.
For many years the Missouri Col
lege of Agriculture has been inves-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

tigating and working out the special
farm problems of Missouri. During
this same period of time the United
States Department of Agriculture has
been solving similar problems for the
United States as a whole. A vast
amount of valuable information has
in this way been secured. And this
information has been supplanted by
careful studies of the methods used
by successful farmers and the rea-
sons for their success To carry this
information to the farmers of Mis-
souri, and to help to put it into actual
practice on their farms, is the spe-
cial function of the farm adviser.
The first step in this plan was the
appointment of a man to take gen.
eral charge of the work, and be
equally responsible to the College of
Agriculture and the U. S. Department
of Agriculture. This man is called
the state leader. His headquarters
are at the College of Agriculture, Co
lumbia, Mo. Counties considering the
employment of a farm adviser should
first communicate with the state
leader. He can be of much assistance
to new counties in helping them to
avoid mistakes.
The following are a number of reg
ulations under which the farm ad-
wiser works:
"a No work is started in any
county for a term of less than three
years.
(2) The government will pay me
fourth and the college will pay one-
fourth of the total salary of the ad-
wiser employed in cooperation with
them, leaving one-half to be paid by
the county.
(3) There is a state law which
makes it possible for the county
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
lack Hammer for SURGEONS.

Scientific hammering Of the spinal
column, technically known as spondy-
%lotherapy, is one of the latest treat
ments to be adopted by members OF
the Philadelphia medical profession.
1t consists of tapping certain por.
tions of the spine for patients suffer
ing with heart, lung, stomach, and
liver trouble.
The "tack-hammer treatment" was
discovered by DR.. Albert Abrams, A
nerve specialist of San Francisco
Philadelphia Dispatch to the New
York American.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

court of any county to furnish the
county's part of this fund.
() Those counties where the
county court assumes the county's
obligations will find preference with
the college and government because:
(a) 1t is desired that every farmer in
the county be represented in the coun-
tvs part of the financial support of
the adviser, which is done best
through the county court; OBJ it is
desired that the work be on a per-
manent basis. This cannot be done
by yearly private subscriptions. 1t
can be done through the county court.
81 The farm adviser is appointed
and in general directed by the col.
lege and government through their
state leader, but appointment and di-
rection is in each cas- only upon the
advice and approval of the local
county represented.
co. A minimum consideration for
the three years is $4,000. This amount
is paid the farm adviser as salary
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Mr.. Wrinkles Houe to Go.

Two buildings in Birmingham asso-
ciated with Dickens have been de-
molished, and a third, Mr.. Wrinkles
house, is being pulled down.
When Mr.. Pickwick asked the wait
er It the Old Royal where Mr.. Wrinkle
lived he replied: Close by, sir; not
above 500 yards, sir. Mr.. Wrinkle is a
wharfinger, sir, at the canal, sir" And
Mr.. Pickwick found in "a quiet, sub
stantial looking street stood an old
red brick house with three steps be-
fore it, bearing, in fat Roman capitals.
the words, Mr.. Wrinkle Pail NAL
Gazette.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
no transfer Records to CAPITAL.

Jefferson City.-Assistant State
Highway Commissioner Wyatt S.
Hawkins left here for Columbia to
transfer the records of the state high
way engineer from that city to the
capital. The office of state highway
engineer was abolished by the crea-
ton of the bureau to be headed by
State Highway Commissioner Frank
w. Buffum.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Wives Like Unto IohI

At a dinner party in New York not
long ago the talk turned - the virtue
of patience as PERSONNEL in the
patience of Job.
At this a French woman at the Ia
Bile exclaimed with comic pathos:
Talk about the patience of the
late Monsieur Job! Any woman is
entitled to a like Immortal reputation
who has ever had a husband at home
with a cold in his head"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
RAILROAD SURGEON DISCOV.
ERS WONDERFUL REMEDY
For Man and Beast, the Old Reliable
Dr.. Porter's Antiseptie Healing Oil
Relieves Pain, Stops the Bleeding(
and Heals al the same time.

Thousands of Farmers and. Stockfnen
know it already, and a trial will convince
you that DR.. PORTER'S ANTISEPTIC
HEALING OIL is the most wonderful
Remedy ever discovered for Wounds,
Burns, OldSores, Carbuncles, GRADUATED
Eyelids, all Skin or Scalp Diseases, and
also for Barbed Wire Cuts, Calls, Sores,
Scratches, Shoe Boils, Warts, Mango on
Dogs, etc Continually people are finding
newusesforthis famous old Remedy. Sold
by nearly all Druggists. If your Druggist
hasn'tit, sendus SOC. in stamps for me-
dunn size, or 81. 90 for large size, and it will
be sent by Parcel Post. Money refunded
II not, satisfactory. We mean it. Paris
Medicine Co. 2622 Pine St., st. Louis, NO.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Room for the Cat.

The doors of a certain new house
had shrunk horribly, as is the way
Of the modern door made of unsea-
soned wood and left to shrink in use.
The builder would not send the joiner
to replace them. So the householder
tried the ironclad method and wrote:
Dear Sir: The mice can run I'M
der most of our doors, but our cat
cannot follow them. VIII you please
send a man at once to make room un-
der the doors for the cat, and much
oblige?"
Next day the joiners came.-Man-
chester Guardian,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Diamonds and Coins Found.

Hannibal.-A small treasure was
discovered in the home of the late j.
w. Thompson in Palmyra when w. H.
Dye found a pocketbook in a closet.
The pocketbook contained six 1-carat
diamonds and several antique coins,
among which was a 1-cent piece bear
ing the date of 1914, a 50-cent piece
made in 1853, a dime coined in 1853
and a dime bearing the date 1843.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
QUIKINE AND IR0N.THE MOST
EFFECTUAL GENERAL TONIC
Groves Tasteless chill Tonic combines both
IN t~asteless form. The Quinine drives out
Malaria and the IRON builds up the Z.
System. For Adults and Children.

You know what You are taking when you
take GROVES TASTELESS chill
TONIC recognized for 80 years as the
standard General Strengthening Tonic.
1t has no equal for Malaria and Fevers,
Weakness, general debility and loss Of
appetite. Removes Biliousness without
purging. Relieves nervous depression and
low spirits. Invigorating to the pale and
sickly. 1t arouses the liver to action and
p~urifes the blood. A true tonic, and sure
appetizer. Guaranteed by your Druggist.
We mean 1t. Soc.
There is Only One "BROMo QUININE"
That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE
Look for signature Of E. W. GROVE on
every box. Cures a Cold in One Day. Csc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
PardonabIe Curiosity.

81 see the cake quite plainly" said
the guest at the restaurant table
d'hote, as the waiter brought him
strawberry shortcake for dessert, but
there's one thing I'd like to know"
Eyes, sir?" replied the waiter in a
tone of respectful inquiry. What is
that?"
Merely this, what does the straw
berry representa-"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

When is 1t a mistake to take what
seems the easiest way of doing a
thing? Do you know of lives that
have been wrecked by a lazy choice
Of the path Of least resistanceT It
would be a good thing to pause long
enough TO ask ourselves most earn
estly II we were making such a mis-
take just now.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Girl, 4, Saves own Life.

st. Joseph.-Although only 4 years
old, Mary Written, daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. Charles Written of St. Jo-
seph, saved herself from death by
lying fat on the railroad ties when
she saw a freight train approaching
SO rapidly she was unable to jump
from the track. The engine and IL
cars passed owe her, but he escaped
with only a slight scalp wound.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
What She Wanted.

Matrimonial Agent-What kind Of a
husband do you want?
Girl-One who doesn't smoke, drink
or swear, who brings me chocolates
and takes me to theaters and restau-
rants every day.
Matrimonial Agent-You don't want
a husband. What you want is a beau.
Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Doctor uraes Publicity.

Springfeld.-Publicity as an anti
dote for quackery was urged before
the Missouri Electic Medical associ-
alton, in annual convention at Spring
field, by President T. A. Son. He d..
clared for the enactment Of a state
law requiring physicians to file with
the clerk of their county reports OF
every case treated.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

How do you suppose Eteggins ever
came to write me such an deliberately
sarcastic letter about SO slight a mat
ter?' Very possibly replied Miss
Cayenne, he has Just employed o
new stenographer and Is trying to
show Off" a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
FROM ALL OVER THE STATE
Hail Large as Goose Eggs.

Springfeld.-The window panes In
practically every house in the vicinity
Of Republic, IL miles southwest OF
Springfield, we're shattered, small
fowls and animals were killed in large
numbers and several persons we're
injured slightly. in a hailstorm which
struck this section. Damage to the
extent of thousands of dollars was
done TO the houses and to the fruit
crop. Strawberries and cherries suf-
fered much damage. Many of the
hail stones were as large as goose
eggs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Horse praos Boy to Death.

Butler.-The s~-year-old o of W. l..
White, a farmer, residing near this
city, was dragged to death. He was
carrying water to men working in a
field and the water spashing out of
the bucket frightened the horse and
caused it to run. In falling from the
horse the boys foot caught in the
harness and he was dragged to death.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
State University Gets s12, 1906.

Kansas. City.-The University of
Missouri will receive $12,106 collateral
inheritance tax from the estate of Col.
D. B. Dyer. John A. Sea, appraiser,
filed his report in the probate court.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
cobblers, Wax.

Shoemakers' and cobblers' wax is
made by melting together the best
Swedish pitch and tallow in a vessel
over the fire. The quantity of tallow
must be determined by experiment..
Roll into balls. The right kind Of
pitch is OF a brown color when broken.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Pastor so Years. Dies at "a.

Montgomery.-Rev.W. L. Carr, presi-
dent of the Old Mems Association of
Northeast Missouri, a minister in the
Christian Church for fifty years, died
at his home here, aged "a. He was
a veteran of the Mexican and Civil
wars. ~
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
lIncbaroed Assessment Asked.

Jefferson City,-The state board OF
equalization heard representatives OF
three big railway systems Of the state,
the Wabash, Burlington and the Mis-
souri, Pacifc-Iron Mountain. All plead
ed for a l~et-alone policy in the matter
Of assessments.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Would Know Lioht Rates.

Jefferson City.-Commissioner D.
M. Shaw of the utilities board has
been assigned by the commission to
compile information regarding rates
charged for gas, water and electric
lights in the incorporated towns and
cities of Missouri.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Actuarial Bureau Quits.

Kansas City.-Another indication
that some insurance companies do not
intend to resume the writing of e
business in Missouri for a long time
was shown when the Missouri ac-
tuarial bureau packed it effects and
gave up its offices here.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Finds Funds MisappIied.

Jefferson City.-The auditing de-
partment in the state auditors office,
created by the last Legislature, has
just examined the books of the Lin.
coin institute. 1t found that much o:
the appropriation had been misapplied
by the board of regents Of that insti-
tuition.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Such Is Life,

He used to come back two Or three
times for a kiss"
And now in the mornings?"
Never unless he forgets his over
shoes or umbrella."-Kansas City
Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

First Satanic Imp-"Who's the
latest arrival? He's making quite a
hit" Second Satanic Imp-"Travel
Ing salesman, I guess. Old Rabelais
and Munchausen are sore as pups
over something."-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Voters Qualifications.

In parts Of New England during the
seventeenth century voters had TO
reside in a Tstone house OF the dimen-
sions Of 20 feet by Is, with one or
more brick chimney or chimneys.r
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
To Shin 1000 Cars of Berries.

Monett.-Four counties in this To-
cality will ship 1900 carloads of
strawberries within the next three
weeks, the officers of the Ozark Fruit
Growers association and of the South
west Missouri Fruit Growers union.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
His PessImIstIc Views.

WHY don't you try to be more
POPULAR"
Jaw, what does a popular man get
out of life except a bigger crowd at
his funeral?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
NotorIety.

The steer that gets crosswise in the
loading chute may attract the most
attention, but 1t doesn't make any bet
ter beef than the rest Of the herd--
Maryville Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Eqotism.

The Man (sourly)-The home team
always loses when l go to a game.
I'm the hoodoo, all right.
The Woman-How can you be so
conceited, John?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
VIII Improve Frisco Branch.

Jefferson City.-The St. Louis Il
San Francisco railroad will make eX-
tensive improvements of its Clinton
branch, connecting Springfield with
Kansas City. according to w. T. Ty-
Ter, general manager.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

why is it that so few people heed
the warning about kissing being an
unsanitary practice?" ! suppose 1t
is because SO few people do it for
their health.'-Baltimore American.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29
Their Location.

II lave been looking over your
masters wardrobe. Where are his
,pats?"
Mostly with the missus. sir"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

Dropped a little at roulette while |
was abroad" remarked the ice mar
Cant beat that game" said the coal
man. Wasn't trying to. just want
ed to see how it feels to lose money"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

Never put your foot in it when
acknowledging a birthday present
Not even II it is a pair of slip
pers?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1913-05-29

Som. men are insignificant by ma
ture. and some r made so by mar
riage.