The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-18

49,
YOUR UNCLE RASTUS
sOmtimes Gets On Mighty Good
Thing.
Ebery man wants to go fishin' now
and den, but 1 nebber yet found one
who was willin' to see his hens take
vacashun.
marriage am lottery, an it am mostly
men who try DER best to make it 80.
When yo' have diskibered a man
who let's de world slide an nebber
worries about anything. yo' have
into yo'r debt an stay dar. It's de
honest men who do most of de wor-
ryin'.
When my naybur's pianer kept me
awake, I wanted to go to law about it,
but when de barkin' of my dawg kept
him from slumber and he raised row
about it put him down as bad man.
When a man has got all ready to so
down to de tax office an swear off his
personal taxes, muffin puts him out so
much as to have de newspapers come
out an speak of him as an honest man.
When a man finds himself de owner
of vicious mewl, he at once reflects
but when he diskibers de same traits
about his Teller man he wants him
punished at once. bekase he isn't like
hi self.
I don't want my Teller man to de-
pend too much upon my integrity It's
mighty pleasin' to be told yo' am an
honest, conscientious man, but it am
also mighty provokin' to run across
a melon patch de next day and have to
hang on to yo'self wild boat hands an
miss a good thing.
find dat most men have a certain
respect for truth. honesty an indus
try, but at de same time dey am rather
particular to inquire which ticket yo'
vote an how much pew rent yO' pay.
don't know what de philosophers
call true happiness, but when I git sot
down befo' a hickory fab, wild a pan
of popco'n at my left hand and pan
of apples at my right de ole woman
cat purrin on my lap, it do seem as if
I was gittin' along mighty well fur one
of de people of airth.
amt calm a man a liar an
wantin' to hit him on de jaw bekase
he don't vote de same political ticket
1 do. Ize simply goin' about wild a
serene an superior smile on my face
an wonderin' how dat pore idiot has
managed to dodge de trolley kyars all
desc vars past.
When de world calls a man a good
Teller 1t means a pusson who am will
in to lend money widout interest or
security.
once knowed a man so wise dat
he predicted de downfall oh an en-
pire, and yet dat same man stole
chickens and left de feathers flynn
round fur de police to folIer up.
ia glib a heap to know what am be-
yand dis life, but at de same time !
recognize de fact dat if I don't hustle
round dere will be no bacon fur
breakfas.
Ebery man should firmly believe dat
de good will be rewarded. but no man
should be fool huff to believe dat in
tegrity will rake in a poker pot Ggi'n
three kings,
De world am either cold, cruel and
deceitful or 1t am full OBJ truth and
sunshine and good people. 1t all de-
Ponds on de state OBJ yo'r stomach an6
pocketbook.
It's human natur' to deceive oneself
1'ze got to be nigh on to sebenty vars
old, and yit when 1 started in to chase a
hog out Of de garden de odder day and
fell on my nose laid IL all to de fact dat
my old woman was t-yin' to boss de Job
used to think de world was all wronz
ana dat was misused man but of late
vars wheneher I am kicked by a cow
feel mighty thankful dat she didn't he1
shoes on her feet. It's purity hard luck t.
hev yo'r later crop killed off hy d.
It might hev bin washed away by floot
to feel dat ye' amt so badly off arter all
hev lied an bin called a liar, an I he,
told de truth an bin called a liar. an
. reckon I was jest as mad about il when
lied as when told de truth.
Oars a few men I want to shake hand.
wild before my time comes to go, an one
Der of congress fur II vars an IN has ne iG5e
got de tdeah de airth was hangin to hi
Oar am times when yo kin quote Scrip
tur' to yo'r wife an silence her, but dal
am other occashuns when a wise husband
VIII sNep OUT 10 reed de haWgS an give
her an hour or SO by herself to git ober 1t
Fse not sayin' a word ag'in de alder
man or my ward, who made s, 900 in on,
var on salary of $50 but 7 sometime
wake up in de night wild a temptasnun t,
steal cord of wood an a dozen chickens
to even up things.
If human natur' could be satisfied wild ,
good thing, we'd all be better Off On
0ey last summer de people of my ehurcl
4