davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03
Women Who Get Dizzy

Every woman who is troubled with
fainting and dizzy spells, backache,
hetI,ache. weakness, debility, constlpa-
tioH or kidney troubles shonld use Elect
ric, Bitters. They give relief when
nothing else will, improve the health,
adding strength and vigor from the first
dose. Mrs. Laura Gaines. of Avoca, La,
says: "Four doctors had given me up
and my children and all my friends were
looking for me to die. when my son in
sisted that I use Electric Bitters. 1
did so, and they have done me world
of good" just try them. SOC. and 81
at all druggists or by mail. H. E. Buck
len " Co., Philadelphia or st. Louis.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03
A FARMERS CIVIL
SERVICE EXAMINATION.

When old Farmer Tapht died, two
SONS took charge of the farm.
For some reasons they decided that
some changes should be made in the
working force on the place. Knowing
that arbitrary action would cause com.
ment, and as they were willing to appear
to give the old employees an opportunity
to prove their competency they decided
on having written examination. So
calling old John who was one of the
best men on the farm, but who had
some ideas of his own that did not al.
together coincide with those Of the sons,
they called him in and placing pen and
paper before him, told him that if he
wanted to keep his position it would be
necessary for him to answer certain
questions about farm work. Now old
John, was not very familiar with
any pen work except with that connect.
ed with the hog pens, where be excelled
as raiser of fine pork.
Some of the questions we're like the
following
l. What is the chemical composition
of the steel in common plowshare?
2. What is the botanical cognomen
of common Fife wheat?
3. II one man can plow five acres in q
day of ten hours with five horses, how
many acres can he plow in day OF
twenty-four hours with team of fifty
horses?
4. 1fa horse three years old eats
twenty pounds Of hay in one day, how
many pounds Of hay will q horse siy
years old eat?
B. Ifa man and team can harrow
twenty acres in one day with hundred
tooth harrow, how many acres day can
the same man and team get over with a
harrow containing 200 teethY
&. Would "cow.wheel'' placed on a
binder be equally efficient as the present
'bull-wheel?" mo connection with the
woman suffrage question.)
=. How long should barn be to con.
tain double row of stalls each 6 feet
81 inches in the clear, allowing five and
three quarter inches for the thickness
of each partition?
8. Name the present President of the
United States and the Postmaster Gen.
eral.
Now old John could plow and sow and
reap and NOV and feed the pigs and
milk the cows, but he could scarcely
answer a single one Of these simple farm
questions. and the sons let him 20 and
hired university graduate about twenty
years old. But while the new man could
handle pen botter than old John, the
pigs squealed in their pens for want Of
food, and the output of butter from the
farm suddenly lessened in amount.
But the sons smiled to see how easily
they had gotten rid Of old John, never
realizing that all the neighbors we're al.
SO smiling. A man cannot hide himself
by just putting his head in a
barrel. It only makes him look funny.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03
INCONSISTENCY.

Fargo, N. D., Sept. 25th.-''The 1. w.
W's. will be back in North Dakota next
spring and summer several thousand
strong and we will make things hot for
the farmers Of this state" was the state
ment made here by William Day, one of
the agitators of the organization.
Day is Virginian and q man of good
education. Having travelled over a
greater part Of the United States in the
last score of years he has q wide range
of information.
II have seen the southern convict
camps and am familiar, said Day, with
the way the negro violators are handled
down south, but that has nothing on the
methods used by North Dakota law en-
forcers. Up here in this agricultural
country I find the farmers dominate
everything. They elect the law officers
and have them under their thumb.
They dictate the policy of the news
papers and the views of the business
men.
II made mistake Of being caught
with revolver at Casselton. They sent
me up for thirty days on the concealed
weapon charge, but ] was tried and
prosecuted because was an I. w. w.
and refused to work for 92,25 day, al.
though sentenced for the other offense.
"This country handles things in raw
manner. but there is way to get even
and when We line up here next year the
farmers will have to pay living wages or
leave their fields unworked, their grain
unharvested and unthreshed. We will
organize every township in the state"
Day was especially angry ut the prison
doctor. He was i'll during his incarcera.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03
Official Directory

Official Directory
! U s Senators 4 ScGnnber Seenna
; U ls,a. Ks,se.esen- i + HsiTssoa HsSs%Se'
: Secretary of State-Thomas Hall
state Treasurer-Gunder Olson
State Auditor-C. o Jorgenson
Attorney GeneralIAndrew Miller
Railroad Com APM a. = Mana anderson
missioners VII Stntsman
supt of Pub Inst-E ] Taylor
Com Com e a.l 1nsufsqss-W e a%oz-W TsX,o1 ;ihes..,
Judge. sss:, 8; Supreme s + $$;:: z|$$ $5$;!s'n-
} court E E ) ) eoss ea5se
Judge 7th yud: Dist.Wy J Kneeshaw
LIST Dist-Christ Ganssle. St Thomas
REPRESENTATIVES /
LIST District w n Husband Hensel
H Geiger Hamilton
COUNTY OFFICIALS
States Attorney-Wm McMurchie
Clerk of Court ID Winlaw
Sheriff. Foster
Auditorium. W. Fetson
Treasurer n Gibson
Register of Deeds--Geo Roadhouse
County Judge-H G Wick
Surveyor-Herman Campbell
( Supt of Schools-Charlotte Jones
Coroner-Frank w. Deason
Public Admin'r-Elis Thorwaldson
lst--A B Purdy. Toilette
Corr+v 2nd-y X Olafson, Gardar
Cou,'rs CC'y srd-N Matheson, Crystal !
Sonu 10 4th-W Watts Leroy
l5th-Jos Morrison Drayton J
CUSTOMS OFFICIALS
Judson LaMoure Jr Collector
Robert Morrison Special Deputy J
j Mcconmachie Deputies I
p Thue Immigration Inspector
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03

Auto experts say to crank your auto
with the left hand as the position as.
sumed makes back kicks much less
dangerous. Some. autos are almost as
human as mule-about kicking-and
there are some mule drivers that need
kicking.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03

Ambitious mothers who skimp and
save money to make musical experts of
unmuscal girls ought to read the ad-
vertsements of the mechanical piano
players and buy one. 1t would pe
cheaper and save the poor kid many
weeks and months of martyrdom, with
practically the same result.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03

The newspapers all agree that the
passage of the new tariff bill is person.
al triumph for President Wilson. That
is undoubtedly true, but it also carries
with it the personal responsibility-if
not satisfactory.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03

!:evolyers have done far more harm
than they ever did good. The average
mai is safer without such a weapon
than with ono.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03

Matches are the oheapest and at the
Same time the most expensive articles
that We know q. Z they 'oost moro
they wouldn't bs thrown around %
carslessly q lsst whsre the mice could
got at thsm. ..,s 3. ss:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1913-10-03
A Gentle and Effective Laxative

USuC1e 0n0 Effect1Ve L0X0t1Vc
A mild, gentle and effective laxative
is what people demand when suffering
from constipation. Thousands swear by
DR.. Kings New Life Pills. Hugh Tall
man. of San Antonio, Texas, writes:
"They are, beyond question, the best
pills my wife and I have ever taken"
They never cause pain. Price 25c. at
druggists, or by mail. n. E. Bucklen &
Co., Philadelphia or st. LOUIS.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
CHARGES THAT sTARTLE THE COUNTRY,

AN AMAZING story of lobby organization and corruption
spread country in the published statement of
the general field lobbyist of the Manu-
National Association 1t dwar interest the Judge
charges attempted lobby bacma of Union Pacific
congressman of whom Gardner
Fowler representatives from New Jersey
cepbe lobby influences and explains the mystery of Gard
1910 with details that of than
passing interest State politics The of prominent Repub
reputation freely used and Taft not
spared Colonel Muha tells of the systematic
waged against organized labor of the debauhey of labor
unsuccessful attempts entrap Samuel Gompers
There credbty in this part of the story but what Colonel
members Congress and of national
reputation belief Colonel Muha he has the
produce evidence that he has emzed account all
expenditures and has of correspondence and he makes
the truth of what he charges Subpoenaed to
Washington Muhal will focus the national interest
if he shall oneaf of his charges he will
wide swath in personal regulations and deal deathbow
to the lobby.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
FAIR PLAY FOR OYSTERS

Oystersl Lovers of oysters as a
succulent, delicious food should feel
treasured. Sensational papers have
done their best to ruin the appetite
for the delicious bivalve. 1t is re-
freshing to find DR.. Wiley's success
sor at Washington, DR.. Alsberg,
sounding an encouraging note. He
told the oyster growers association
recently that the department of ag-
riculture, under Secretary Houston,
would begin a systematic, sanitary
study of the entire question of oys-
ter production, and thus restore pub
lie confidence in an article of food
that is cheap, healthful and abund-
ant DR.. Alsberg said there was more
danger of typhoid fever from impure
milk and water than from oysters.
1t is certainly refreshing to find the
department of agriculture under the
new administration engaged in the
work of restoring confidence In our
food supplies instead of following the
bad example of Or. Wiley in too
many instances. DIR. Alsberg, Wiley's
successor. seems to have the right
idea of the sphere of usefulness of
his bureau.--From Leslie's.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30

there achieved considerable success.
Mark Twain was one of his assoc
ciates in his lecturing days.
In the quality of their humor, Mark
Twain in his earlier writings and
Josh Billings had much in common.
Extravaganza of statement and radi-
cal absurdity of ideas were the chief
constituents of their output. II am
too old and too respectable to be
phool Anymore" said Josh. And
the American public of his day placed
confidence in his consistent extrava-
gance of assertion and gladly refused
to believe him!
Many of the humorists of the war
time period resorted to the trick of
queer spelling; as we translate their
writings into ordinary speech today
we are likely to find little left that
amuses us. But Josh Billings can
stand translation. His epigrams are
always good, and there is vein OF
philosophy underlying his humor that
is true to any age. In this he often
reminds us of that first American
humorist, Benjamin Franklin, and,
like Franklin, Billings created an
almanac that ran for several years
and was crowded with fun and phil
osophy SO thoroughly mixed that the
reader could not tell where one left
off and the other began. Listen to
his description Of laughter: "Anato-
mikally konsidered laffing liz the SEN
sa ton ov pheeling good all over, and
showing it principally in one spot.
Morally konsidered 1t IL the next
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
MAKERS OF AMERICAN HUMOR
NO. Josh BILLINGS
Henry Wheeler Shawl
Learn Thing Every Day"
Copyright 1913 by The Associated Newspaper School, Inc

TT is said of Josh Billings that his
/ first writings did not win wide
attention, but that after he
changed his spelling the American
public began to take notice." and
soon his popularity as a humorlst
was great. When he was writing
regularly for the Century Magazine
under the title "Uncle Esei1's Wis
DOM" DR.. ]. G. Holland, then editor,
insisted upon printing his epigrams
in correct fashion. Mr.. Shaw accept
ed the mandate, but continued TO
compose his contributions in his own
peculiar misspelled way.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
AGUINALDo PROSPEROUS

1 found Emilio Aguinaldo, unques-
tionably the greatest figure in recent
Philippine history, living contented
and happy as prosperous planter
in the loving companionship of an
affectionate family and surrounded
by loyal kinsmen and friends. The
conduct of this man in the face of
defeat cannot but hold that which
is most dear to him. the love and af-
lection of his compatriots, and will no
doubt gain him in the end the respect
and admiration of America and the
world
1t is fitting that he should have our
respect and confidence, for there is
probably no Filipino who may be
called upon to play a more important
role in the future of his country than
this man. For should the new admin
istration in Washington really carry
out the traditional policy of the Dem
ocratic party and withdraw from the
Philippines, Aguinaldo the country
gentleman, might find himself again
in the limelight, either for better or
for worse:-"Emilio Aguinaldo," John
Gibson Babcock in National Maya
zine for June.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
NO REINDEER

1.-THE English language is as subtle
as a woman" affirms the beautiful
Pauline Frederick, who is scoring a
great triumph in Joseph and His
Brethren" at often says one thing
and means another. For instance:
"a young Canadian went to London
last winter and was making call
upon a very pretty young woman
whom he had met there for the first
time.
"'Do you have reindeer In Canada?'
asked the young lady.
emo, darling he answered AT
this season it always SHOWS July
Young's Magazine.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
Catholic Priest, American Mayor

In the Interesting People" depart
ment of the July American Magazine
appears an article about Father Pat
rick r. DUNCAN, a greatly loved
Catholic priest who was elected
mayor of Lapeer, Mich, by an over
whelmingly Protestant vote. He did
not want to be mayor, but he just
could not help it. Following is an
extract from the articles:
Father Patrick r. DUNCAN is the
only Catholic priest mayor in Amer
lea, perhaps in the world. He is the
executive of a city that is over
whelmingly Protestant, whose Catho-
lie population is but per cent. of the
towns 1000 inhabitants. He was
elected over the most efficient official
the city had ever had in it's history.
OF the 721 votes cast at the election,
only thirty-one were Catholic. His
election was due solely to the person
atty and character of the man; to
his labors as a citizen for the COM
mon good of the community.
His people have given him the
title Believer in Men, and it is an
apt one. He is often heard to say:
Treat the other fellow as if he had
a soul; he has, you know He is as
often seen in a quiet business suit
as in a Roman collar.
The collar sometimes scares EN-
off he explains. You are as apt to
see him in a foundry as in his home;
in the railroad yards as on the street;
in the factories or on the country
roads as in his church; meeting men
talking to them and understanding
them; encouraging, advising and help
ing them in their ambitions OF
troubles. The winter last year was
a severe one in his locality. Yet
Father DUNCAN was on the lonely
frozen roads, visiting the sick, as
sisting the needy, for twenty-six OF
the thirty-one long nights during the
month of January. He takes nc
thought of his own personal comfort;
his concern is only for his people, and
every soul that resides within ths
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
DOG DIDN'T oETlT

Rose Stahl, the star in maggie
Pepper" gives an inimitable Scotch
story. Here it is:
''The McTavish family was dining,
and each member eagerly watched
Mr.. McTavish carving the fowl, none
so eagerly, however, as the dog, for
that intelligent animal never took
his eyes off the luscious bird. Sud-
denly the knife slipped and sent a
fragment of poultry rolling on the
floor.
MIGHTY me, cried McTavish, the
leg, my own favorite bit. The dog'll
get it,
No, 1t won't, father said the
youngest McTavish. He'll no get it.
I've got my foot on it July
Young's Magazine.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
MONDAY EVENING JUNE 3d. 1913.
THE BLUE AND GRAY AT GETTYSBURG.

GETTYSBURG, fifty years after the great battle that was
the turning point promises witness event
historically great in the celebration of that battle
may pages history in vain to find parallel
celebration is absolutely unique The battle covered
period days three days of the week "
veterans coming from North and South and East
representing both of the armies that engaged IN
death grapple half century will fraternze under
flag with sentiment of patriotism Time
has melIowed the healed its
passions of fradal stied and sectional
disappeared the who fought the both
burden of four agca who
are now together clasp testify their patriotic
country great reunion of the Blue and
Gray. There never be another.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
THE RED BUTTON

resolution against the forces of dark
ness and to gather what consolation
he may from the visits of his Lady of
Sorrows and of her little golden girl
comrade.
The next day an aviator accom-
plished something new in the adver-
Using annals of the air. He eloped by
aeroplane. 1t is true that he had no
need of clipping, the family-in-law be-
ing as willing as his actress bride.
The young couple merely chose that
method as a way of starting pros
perously on the road of life. But the
newspapers, in view of this dazzling
picture-story, inquired not too closely
regarding motives And scarcely had
news of this event given way to i'm.
pressions of special writer's, when a
train went over trestle in Connec-
ticut BY the time the papers had
finished with this, the Hanska case
had dwindled to two-inch items, single
head The district attorney delayed,
the grand jury delayed, the police de-
layed, while the forces of Martin Nc
Gee combed New York and New Eng
land for evidence bearing upon the
life and career of Lawrence Wade.
But one more glimpse of Lawrence
before we leave him; and here let
me quote Inspector MCGEE. Entering
his private office in state of sup
pressed irritation bordering on fury
the inspector met his doorman. Long
contact had given this inferior the
privilege of familiarity with the truly
great.
How are your third degree proceed
ings getting on chief?' he asked
Damn him. cried Martin Nc
Gee heartily; damn him! What are
you going to do with man when
he laughs at you?"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30

boundaries of his parish is one of
his people. Protestant or Catholic,
Christian or atheist, all are human,
and this man loves humanity in the
true sense of the word.
Father DUNCAN is the founder of
the present Commercial Club of the
city; is chairman of its executive
committee, and perhaps its most ac-
tive worker. No man in the history
of Lapeer has been more interested
in its advancement, commercially, So
cially and religiously, or has expend-
ed more time, labor. energy and
money to accomplish this endeavor
than he. His unflagging interest in
his town and his people has endeared
him to all. He is the first citizen OF
his CITY,"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
AMERICANS LEAD IN ROAD BUILDING.

oE THE UNITED STATES is spending money IN
roads any nation, and needs such
England have several centuries the start
u.s. has 10000 miles of modern roadway
world total of 100000, and is adding 10000 miles
with road building budget of $77 10000 600
leads world expenditure The International Roads Con
gress just London than 5000 delegates
mainly technical experts from thrynne nations and it
the progressive roadbuildng people
promising delegates that the meeting
two years will be held in New York
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
A CHECK TO sWINDLING MEASURES.

THE PEACH basket made by the hundreds of thousands
Ohio holds seveneghths of bushe cheating the
The law of that State requires the
peaches by weight but the Ohio have found
their dishonest trade in other States Dealers in
conference with seaers of weights and
word Ohio that the short basket will longer be
accepted Uniform legislation in all the States for truthful
weights will the cheats of business AS it
rob the in the home market they
can 10 their plunderng the State line.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
REFORM IN STATE BUDGET MAKING

THE MAKING of State budget for the New Jersey Hegis
Iature is given Joint houses and
the committee adopts submitted to the
Legislature until The law provides
the estimates by the department heads and State boards
comptroller early the session and
here why the appropriation bills should not be
up given the Legislature in the middle of the
they be studied and debated The public too
like know the purposes and amounts of the budget
More passed and the legislative committee affords
poruny public criticism Millions annually voted in
is ofhand way Illinois law which Governor Dunno has
signed for State commission prepare budget
at the beginning of each session. business
arrangement may be commended to the lawmakers
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-06-30
C. O. D. PARCEL POST TOMORROW.

JULY will bring another parcel post feature and of
public This the delivery parcels
o. D." Any amount up to 500 may be collected and the
in parcel post stamps
will add to the labors of the carriers and
duties that belong express drivers
Probably additional carriers will have to be provided by the
the general mail service is not to suffer but the
should easily provide the extra for enlarged
improvement ought add immensely the popu-
parcel post make another heavy into the
business of the express companies.