The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1913-07-19

the umbrella that caught me."-Yon
kers Statesman.
II money could talk you would hear IN
world holler
The tales coin could ten Womb u.ak,
most OF Us glum.
And we'd stop to think whers We Epaui
every dollar,
II saves lots Of trouble to have moaay
dumb.
Cincinnati Enquirsr.
How did he raise the windF"
well, he had a fine air to start with,
% he Just clustered bit and blew
about his prospects."-Judge.
Out Of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
thank whatever gods there be
At least did well at the fourteenth hole.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Il don't know what Il IS" Eushed the
animal lover, but there Is something
about cats that sort Of takes hold OF
me-"
"oh." said his matter OF fact friend,
I'm bet it's heaS"-Fun.
Il used to make q man enthuse
II he could keep the babe IN shoes,
But modern mankind but asplras
To keep a motorcar in tires-
Louisville Courier-JouTnal
Enthusiast-Oh. don't you love a good
playl
Modern Girl-Yes. indeed. It adds
50 much to the scenic effect and COS
tumes.-Life.
The old basket picnic
Is with US again.
The day II Il planned for
hope II win rain
Detroit Free Press.
Dearest, / told your father I meant
to prove my love for you not by words,
but by deeds"
What did he say. GeorgeY'
HE asked me II they were title
deeds Baltimore American
The newest freak OF fashion,
The latest fad In dress,
May rouse some angry passion
Or cause mere man distress;
II may arouse his laughter
1 Or move his tongue to scorn.
But women follow after
The fad-and It Is worn
Cincinnati Post
Mrs. Angus-She has a terrible time
faining Henry in the polite language
kf our set
Mrs. Datus-Yes; she was a year get
ting him TO say "haberdasher' instead
Of gents furnisher." - New York
Globe.
The iceman grins a fiendIsh smile
As warm days grow stin hotter.
And still the busy Ice cream man
Don't cool Us like he "oughter"
Spokane Spokesman-RsVieW
81 am going to make that boy stop
whistlingr' said the nervous man
Don't II you knew the words Of
that song you'd be thankful to let him
whistle it instead Of singing IT,
Washington Star.
A hen after laying viii yaInly
Stand and cackle absurdly. insanely.
Though you wonder. no doubt.
What she's talking about.
Shes eggtng you on very plainly.
Los Angeles ExpreA
II saw a cubist painting OF man O
horseback yesterday"
How did you know It was a man On
horseback
why, anybody could see that"
Then 1t was not a cubist painting"
Houston Post
Adam had an easy time
Back IN the garden there.
When he was late In getting In
There was no chance for him 20 SKIN
His shin against q chair.
-Chicago Record-Hsrah.
Proprietor - What would you sug-
'est as a sign for a first class second
and shop1
sign Painter How would up %
)ate Antiques" dol-Exchange.
Thtnkin' on the Life way
You're stin the upper crust:
But. though you bear your daily Lad
Or race IKE lightning on the road.
You don't raise an the dust
Atlanta Constitution
$50 Miss Brown Is married Wen,
IN not surprised She always despis-
q her own name for its commOnness
nd declared she would change II at
be frst opportunity. By the way,
7hom did she marryT
"a Mr.. Smith. "-Boston Transcript
70 doubt the coming income tax
VIII rake the green stun down In gtacEA
.hen let 'em tax for further greens
The folks who live beyond their means
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
1T Il only a question Of time when
be sufragists will sweep the country"
Nonsense. Not half Of them know
ow TO handle q broom"-TOWn Top.
Our legislators with N.
Were proud Of him. By flnlDl