New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-06
AS | WAS SAYING

Jolly time they had Of IT, vivsecting good Brother
Lamar! do YOU mind telling your race"' i am an
American" Are you a Jew No, sir, ! am a
Methodist" Are you Hebrew? NO. sir: am a
Methodist" Are YOU Israeite| NO. SIR
am a Methodist"
Sticks right TO II, honest fellow that he is and
there will be chuckes among the Methodists-out we
let that pass What startled at the time and
strangely interests still is his downright fatfoot-
edness about not being Jew. Why shades OF Ao-
raham and OF Isaac! how does he know?
Considering the way folks have moved around
within the last few hundred centuries and the way
they have misaid their marriages. addresses ances-
tors religions and SUCH should not be surprised
If things had got pretty amazingly mixed up. and
rather guess they have. So comical Ant-Semites
should be careful how they go brds-nesting among
the top branches of their family trees. Cohens roost
where least expected.
Mr.. Julian Hawthorne would persuade Us that the
sincerest of our saints have gone Jail Something
in this. We once visited jail, and went from cell
to CELL pumping. Would you believe it?-every man
in that jail vas a saint but looked just like the
Teller that done the deed" We away rejoicing.
and have been an enthusiastic believer in jails ever
since
For when sanctty has attained the dizzier alt-
tudes il becomes insufferable, here below. and we
sympathize with Zolas outburst Of moral indigna-
i Il
doubtless are-but society must protect itself.
81 and others like me-" said the Colonel in his
Clambake Address, and guess there must be some.
For ii was q tanned and chastened Colonel who baked
clans by the side Of the sad, sad seaside. Things
have happened to the Colonel
Indeed so very many things. and awfully in
lunches that we have been asking what ever started
them happening Lions and tigers, we imagine.
Staying too long in Africa will spoil any Colonel as
lions and tigers cannot talk back.
Nov my dear lions and tigers" says your Colonel
81 favor the initiative and referendum, the recall OF
judges votes for petticoats, third mug Of coffee
and the Old Harry alone knows how many other
funny things What say?'
As the lions and tigers say nothing your Colonel
believes he has carried the entire jungle and sticks
his notions stewing in his own juice till he be-
comes a regular quintessence of Colonel and goes
roaring home with an ingrowing soul that shocks a
terrified nation into the everlasting gollywobbes
All this. though cumbersome, is perfectly natural
and human-even bit lovable. We like the Colonel
for IT, But rejoice to that prolonged course
OF backtak and dingbats is having its effect. When
a Colonel say Il and others like me" he has
journeyed many parasang toward convalescence
So Mr.. Wilson and Mr.. Marshall and their merry
men all slipped away over the Day Of Days, and left
Mr. BRYAN TO go It alone. But he was fully unpre-
pared as he had figured the whole thing out in ad-
1t is years, now, since he said by the mouth
of his servant Hashmura, Hon. Presidency only
blum"
The game is Already fair eugenist has
muffed sutton and little Ellen sits alone mop
ing over his parting dig: IF that's all you for
me. go hang" Too bad he was a Jolly good
sutton and rightly resented the insult!
1t is nice OF Bishop Greer TO open club for lonely
actresses and nit it up prettily. and trust the
haying will be conducted energecally while the sun
shines For our part. however, shall not sub
scribe TO any such ephemeral charity. Give us
an institution with future-some hostel or convent,
let us say, for orphan films
T.