davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21

features of the New York cotton ex-
change 1t will make IL possible for the
spinner or exporter to make a contract
for cotton that he really wants. 1t will
mako some gamblers more cautious about
selling something they haven't and un-
Ger present system don't worrg aeodt
getting. But it will not stop the little
and big gambler. who Is draining the
ssuth Ct its surplus.
Chicago Futures Market
The argument was feebly advanced
that Chicago gambled in the staffs OF
life-wheat and corn. Yes. they DO,
but there is a marked difference In
the Chicago market and the bearings.
If a man buys wheat or corn on the
Chicago board he buys certain kind,
Mo- l. or NO. .. and so on. Ee can
have his corn or wheat and will it OF
sell it. Oats and lard and "ciear ribs
are sold on the future board and the
great buying and speculative world
goes there TO anticipate its future
wants. knowing that when the day
comes for fulfilment of the contract
they can demand and receive products
of n standard grade or class, ready for
mill or for market all over this land or
anywhere else in the world.
1t may be that the influences at
season; that the regulations proposed
by the Smith amendment to tic tariff
bill will check, to a degree. ihe reck-
less market makers for the south's S
staple. If 1t dies not, lust as sure as
the ldes of December. 1916. come. thcre
will be a tax put upon the reckless
cotton brokers that will put them out
of business.
!. 1t is argued that the cotton future
Business will be driven to Liverpool
by the proposed tax. That Is the cry
of the wolf. Liverpool and the other
cotton markets of the world take two
thirds of the American crop in ad-
dition to the Indian and Egyptian
crops. The cotton spinners want u
steady, honest market. not q feverish
manipulated one. varying with every
wind. and cloud sign, as exploited by
the press bureaus of the cotton gamb-
lers of New York. 1t is true that Liv-
erpool follows New York" as Is often
stated in the market reports. Sne can
better do So when every transaction
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21

Stocks the like of which have I
variety of models and materials that
both suits and overcoats; all the new
and fancy colorings; also the plain
in the height of style and always
in demand. ..................
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21
Theory and Fact

FROM the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
What subject have you taken for your
address at the Civic club?''
''Woman's moral obligations as citi-
zen."
What lovely subject! And what are
you going to wear?"
That new gown brought home with
me from Paris. And, just think, had It
so cleverly packed in with my other
elothas !; that the : 4. cuat0n: houss ipspsct9r
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21
Cured of Alcoholism

Three years ago f~left your institu-
tion, cured of the whiskey habit, have
never taken drop since, nor had any
craving for it. Ysu can use my letter
ms a testimonial if you wish. The remedy
for alcoholism is all right il a man really
wants to be cured, apd will use little
self will. May your business be all AMI
more than you expect.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21
JAMES SANATORIUM
692 ALABAMA AVE.
4 Private sanntorium for the Treat
ment of Drug AddIctions, Alco-
hoiisn,, Nervous Disenscs, To-
bacco and Cigarettes

When at Raleigh Springs we thought
there was no place equal to Raleigh, but
since moving to COZ Alabama avenue we,
as well as our patients, realize the ad-
yantages of sanatorium located in the
suburbs OF a large city like Memphis. Our
patients seem better contented, and when
patient Is in earnest we can accomplish
as good results right here as elsewhere.
To reach the sanatorium take Poplar
avenue cars to corner Poplar and Ala
bama avenue or Main street cars from
union station, and transfer to Poplar
Patients Testimonials
Having received their freedom from
Morphine. Whiskey and Tobacco, they are
loud in their praise Of the James treat
ment. Read their testimonials:
Cured of Drug Habit
have pleasure to report condition OF
patient had admitted to James Sana-
torium as follows:
Male, white. aged AZ, height feet 9
inches. weight, 129 pounds, pale. anaemic,
appetite poor. neurasthenic tprofoundD,
Insomnia of distressing character, consti-
patton as in every case. of morphine and
cocaine habit, more or less kidney in
volyement as result of chronic alcoholism,
covering a period of 10 years. Patient
was taking % grains morphine suphate,
plus five grains cocainemuriate by hypo-
dcrmic-also an excessive cigarette smok-
er ! can say no ordinary constitution
or nervous system could Withstand the
combined effects of the above trio for 6
years without the establishment of COM
plete mental. physical and moral wreck.
Having remained with patient first 10
days of treatment as administered at in
stitute of narcotic and alcoholic patientsJ
was favorably impressed, leaving with
belief that my patient was in good hands.
observed that system of hygiene hydro
and electro-therapy as administered, could
not fail to be of highest natural thera-
peutic value.
Now am prepared to state, after hav-
ing patient under observation for two
years without relapse, that your treat
ment has undoubtedly proven successful.
and ! would have no hesitancy in send
ing this class of patients to you.
w. A. KELLOGG, M. D.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21

has the stamp of a legitimate trade
in real cotton as contemplated by the
tariff bill, either as now formulated or
with the Smith amendment in oper-
alton No legitimate business ever suf-
fers in the long run by pursuing meth
DDS OF good faith and fair dealing. Only
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21

Only short time before Mayor Cay
nor left on his fatal voyage on the
Baltic there was cast In bronze a por-
trait bust Of him, made by Mr.. Eloy
Palacios, the famous Venezuelan sculp-
tor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-21
Cured of Tobacco Habit

Two years ago ! applied for cure for
tobacco habit, at which time I was suf-
fering with Indigestion, insomnia and
vertigo Often when I would look up
black specks seemed to float before my
eyes and would have tendency to
topple over. My sleep was unrefreshlng,
would get up in the morning feeling as
tired as when | went to bed Felt as
If was full of malaria, had no energy,
appetite was poor, and had chills, which
/ could not get rid of. Since Mking
your tobacco treatment have not lad a
chill, and in addition to relieving ma
hria, it proved a perfect cure for the
tobacco habit have not touched nor had
any desire for tobacco. sleep we'll, appe-
tite is good. no longer suffer with ver-
tieo. Indigestion or torpid liver. and now
really enjoy life. J. 8. WELLS.
81 Z. Euphon avenue, Memphis, Tenn.
James Home Remedies
Furnished at the following prices:
Whiskey, wine or beer $25.0O
Tobacco. Cigarette or Snuff .. 1000
Nervousness and insomnia ...... 500
For further information and booklet
containing testimonials. address Charles
p james Ssnator.nrn. 692 Alabama Ave.
4~.kxx.--
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
FORGOT DESIRE TO QUESTION
chairman's Reception of WouId-Be lnterTogator Somehow Discovered
 the Rest Of Them.

At a political meeting in a certain New South Wales gold-mining dis trict the chair was taken by an ath- letic miner. The candidate during his speech was much interrupted by hootings and rough chaff, and his chairman was soon in a state of boil ing indignation. Smothering his wrath. however, he pacified the boys" by assuring them that at the end of the candidates speech they should be at liberty to put any cues ton they chose Accordingly, at the end of the harangue he arose and in- quired in stentorian tones and in a rich Irish brogue: His 'inny gintle- man questhion to airsk? ?' A stout little Welsh miner, who had been a conspicuous disNrber of the peace of the evening, shuffied slowly up the steps of the platform. But at the top he was met by the chairman, who without the slightest warning, delivered terrific left-and-righter, and sent the Welshman sprawling on his back. Now roared the chair man, "has inny other gintleman a questhion to airsk ?'-and there Was no response.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
SAW OPPORTUNITY FOR JOKE
President Taft's Reply to Request Had Secretary of War on the
 Anxious Seat.

William H. Taft, when he was president, never overlooked an oppor- tunity for joke. In the closing months of his administration Henry l.. Stimson, then secretary of war, wrote MT. Taft a very urgent request xfhat he give a friend of Simson a Icertain federal position. Mr. Taft wrote to Stimson as fol lows:
 My Dear Stimson: am very sorry cannot do anything for your friend in response to your letter ot today l would like to accommodate Sou, but it is impossible. Sincerely yours,
 WILLIAM H. TAFT"
 Under that he wrote:
 Turn over" Then MT. Stimson read on the oth- CT side of the paper:
 T couldn't do it today because I gave the fellow the loh yesterday. - Popular Magazine.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
BAD CASE OF DANDRUFF

Bissell, Ala.-"I had very bad case of dandruff on my head. was tor mented by itching and my hair began to come out by the combfuls. l al most became frantic, fearful that T would lose all of my hair which was my pride There were some pimple on my scalp and scratched them upN til they made sores. My hair was dr and lifeless.
 T saw the advertisement of Cuticura Soap and Ointment and sent to myl druggist for three cakes of Cuticurd Soap and box of Cuticura Ointments washed my scalp with warm wateH strong with the Cuticura Soap and dried, afterwards applying the Cuti- cura Ointment, working it in the scalp slowly with my fingers, After using them for several days my hair began to stop coming out. The dandruff all disappeared and in less than four weeks cure was accomplished per manently." (Signed) Miss Lacy May.
 Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold throughout the world. Sample of each free, with 32-p. Skin Book Address post card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. Adv.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

clothes. Oae day my husband got the neighbors in to see what the matter was but they could not help me. My first thought was for Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and sent my hus- band out for it and took ituntil was en- firely cured. am woman of perfect health and my health and happiness came from Lydia E. Pinkham's medi- cine. You may rest assured that l do Ill can to recommend your wonderful medicine to my friends. "-- MRS. FRED STONE, Route No. 3, Malone, N. Y.
 The success of Lydia ID. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, is unparalleled. It may be used with perfect confidence by women who suffer from displacements, infism- nation, n,ulceration, ,tlmors, irregularities. periodic pains, backache, bearing g-down feeling, fiatulency, indigestion, dizziness, or nervous prostrasion. Lydia E. Pink hams Vegetable Compound isthe stan- siard .remedy for 6smalesills.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
HISTORIC OLD TOWN
Alkmaar, Holland, Has Many h.
 terestinJ Features.
Quaint Dutch City of 10000 Is Typical of the Courtry-Scene of Resist ance to Spanish Siege
 of 1873.

Alkmaar, Holland-The town itself is one that must abide in the memory Of everyone who sees it for the first time. Its most important church is the Groote Kerk of / St. Lawrence, which contains among other things the ancient tomb of F1oris V, Count of Hollaad, who died in 1296 The tow CT of the Stadhuis dates from 1907. It contains a library and a municipal able pictures. But the old Weigh house, after all, remains to us the most interesting of the buildings in the town. Not least Of it's charms is the prospect from the top. From it our artist was able to secure very striking picture of the view. as seen from that eminent position. There could not be anything more typical of Holland First of all there :. is the canal, the national waterway, winding sluggishly through the1t town and divid- ing it i'll two. There are the canal boats, the wagons of this aqueous highway, placidly pursuing their jour- ney or waiting by the wharves to be laden or unladen Most of all there are the Dutch houses, or rather the characteristic roofs of them-the view that they would present to the stars. The town is just of the right size to be brought within thls focus. It num- bers about 10000 inhabitants, the ma jority of whom are connected directly
 
 or indirectly with agriculture. But the place has it's historical records also. It appeals to the historian as the scene of splendid resistance to the Spanish siege in '1573-the period of the Dutch struggle for independence. The buildings, to which we have al ready made aliusion. carry us back to that sixteenth century, which was ia nous there as in England for the artistic beauty and sense of propor- tion brought to bear upon the work of building. Houses of this period are fine all the world over, and not least in Holland
 The Dutch cheese trade is ap old in. dust1y in one way, but it's great de velopment is modern in character. Till only a comparatively recent period the dairy herds in this country were neg lected. The only requirement. ap- piled to the COW was that she should give very large quantity of milk. It was of such inferior character as to become almost a proverbial expres- sion for thinness But recent minis. ters of agriculture have changed all that. They have brought science to bear on the industry with everincreas-
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
TOOK ON DIFFERENT ASPECT
Somehow Antics of Playful Pups on Second Morning Did Not Appeal
 to Mir. Knox.

The morning was young and beau- tiful and MT. Knox stood at the side window and looked over into the next yard interestedly. He chuckled for sheer delight as he watched the antics of two little pups his neighbor had bought a few days before.
 "Oh, Amy, come here and see these pups, over in PorteT's yard, he called to Mrs. Knox, who was busily ar ranging the breakfast table. Aren't they just having a circus? Bless 'em! he went on, with all the effnsiveness of genuine dog lover. Oh, look, Amy, they have taken the morning pa per off the porch and each one has an end of it in his mouth, tussling with it. Is there anything in the world more cunning than little pup?" His enthusiasm was running away with him. tI think, dearie, we will have to get dog one of these days"
 The next morning Mir Knox arose, dressed and went down to bring in the morning paper, as was his habit He was just in time to see the cunning little pups next door playfully tearing his paper into shreds and each vanish ing around the house with a portion of it. He came back to the kitchen sullenly
 Those blankety blank dogs next door have torn up-the paper he said, with no trace of his earlier enthusi- aSm
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
What Made Him Sick.

Certainly public employees who have to submit daily to q rapid fire of we'll meant but needless questions may be excused if they occasionally turn upon their prosecutors. An elevator boy, in the New York Tribune, was one of the victims.
 Don't you ever feel sick going up and down in this elevator all day." a fussy lady asked him.
 "Yes, ma'am," cOurteously replied the elevator boy.
 "Is it the motion going down?" pur- sued the lady.
 "No ma am"
 "The going up?"
 No ma am."
 @Is it the stopping that does il? ?''
 No ma am."
 Then what is it?"
 Answering questions, ma'am."
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Original Sort of Ham.

A lady gave luncheon recently and by the recipe used by Thomas Jeffer- son, which had been handed down in her family for years.
 This recipe required that the ham be cooked for about two hours by simmering, but, under no condition must it be allowed to boil
 A ham was on the stove, it's des- tinies presided over by a young col ored woman from up in the mountains.
 Jane" called the mistress Of the house "don't let that ham boil
 'No'um!' replied Jane, T aint CT gwine to boil no ham. Its on the stove now just a simpering!"
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
IN BIG POWDER MILL TO DIE
Oisconeoiate Husband Prays for Ex. plosion, but Is Very Sorry When
 It Comes.

Pateraon, NJ y.--In a suit for di- vorce on the ground of desertion, Pc ter K.. Hicks has gone on record in ehancerF. here is. a most doleful hus- Dand fie testified that the alleged de- sertion of his wife made him so dis coasolate that he got job in pow der factory. in the hope that the plant would blow up. His prayer was almost
 answered Q few months later, when he was sent to the hospital with five others injured in an explosion. By the time he recovered he ceased to grieve over his domestic troubles, and decid-
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
lIeoaI uuinIon.


 "a eat sits on my back fence every might, and he yowis and yowls and yowls. Now, I don't want to have any trouble with Neighbor Jones, but tfis thing has gone faT enough, and want you to tell me what to do"
 The young lawyer hooked as solemn as an old, sick owl, and said not a word.
 T have 8 night ito shoot the cat, haven't f9' -
 I would hardly say that" replied young Coke Blackstone. The cat does not belong to you, as I under stand it.
 ANo, burt the fence does"
 Then concluded the light ;of law, "I think it safe to say you have a perfect right to tear down the fence
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Wiilino to Oblicc.

overheard the following: A young eu- gagged couple were sitting by tilem- selves when friend came along and said, :,
 Nou two seem very happy over here away from the restof the ,crowd?"
 We are" repkad the girl. "won't you join us?''
 Sorry I can't said the friend, "I'm wi.5h. '--4E,xchange
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
sxact Copy of Wrappen
II szsIa s
Oyerdid 1t.

Whats the matter?" asked the law yeiss friend. Been in Q railroad ac7 cident?@
 No I had q jury case the other day, and argued so elaborately for the purpose of making it appear that my client was q fool instead of q knaye that got him acquitted on that plea
 What has that to do with your ap- pearance?"
 He met me outside, after court had adjourned Judge.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
StunC-

q want my money back for these here socks" said the man as he hand ed the clerk a package. The sign you had up said the socks was guaranteed fer three months"
 Well, what's the matter with the socks?" asked the clerk.
 T only wore them three weeks, and had to take them off and buy another pair because this pair had holes in the toes," replied the man.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

Idiiiiy QOiie ule d iOI of good. I first heard of it when I was 8 girl andI always said that if I ever had fe- male trouble 1 would take it.
 .'I suffered from organic infamma- ton and would have spells when I would be in such pain that I would tear my
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Dull Boy.

Thomas, you have disobeyed your grandmother"
 No, I didn't. mother
 Yes. you did. Have you not been in swimming?''
 Yes, mother"
 Didn't I hear her say to you not to go i'll swimming?"
 "Oh, she didn't tell me that. She only came out and said: Boys, wouldn't go in swimming and shouldn't think she would. an old rheumatic woman like her; but she didn't say anything about our going in swimming"
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Interesting Beginning.

A fair graduate was conversing with a young gentleman who had been presented to her after the commence ment exercises.
 Well" she sighed happily, 'I am an A. B. now. Of course you have a degree?"
 "Yes,2 he replied, but I am only a B."
 The fair grad pondered. The de gree was puZzling.
 "Why, what is that?" she asked.
 Bachelor" he said.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Gone Forever.

Mother (to little Ethel sobbing as if her heart was broken) Well, well, what is the matter, dear9
 Ethel-Tabby got losted.
 Mother-Never mind, darling we'll advertise in the papers for tabby.
 Ethel (still sobbing) )-She'll never. newer come home cause she can't read.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
For achino. perspirjnc Feet

use Tyree's Antiseptic Powder either sprinkled into the shoes or used in solution Never fails to relieve. 25c
 at all druggists or sample sent free by ]. s. Tyree. Washington, D. C.-Adv.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
RUB-MY-TlSM

Will cure your Rheumatism and all kinds of aches ard pains-Neuralgia, Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises. Cuts. Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antiseptic Anodyne. Price 25e-Adv.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Sure.

Gabe-Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
 Steye-Yes, of your creditors.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

Mrs.1Einsow's Soothing Syrup for Children teetbing, softens the gums reduces infamma- tion, pai wi n oolic ,25c bottle As
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Wild Beastie.

Fave you ever owend a horse?"
 Not for long. l had a nightmare enee.7-Boston Evening Transcript
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

The mere fact that man doesn't laugh at his own jokes is no indicar' tion that he doesn't think them funny
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Some Girls Do.

T wonder why all the grlsl in our set litter whenever they see me
 T think your Sancee passes your love letters around. my boy.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

ing force. Milk iB officially analysed ill quantities which show a most inn portant increase between nOw and the year 1903. More than that, the breed of cattle has been most astonishingly improved, So that instead of being neg lected by the rest of Europe it has now become desirable.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
 Which Is Different.

He says he is always outspoken in his Wife's presence"
 He means outalked"
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Misplaced.

First Cinder-Why so angry?
 Second Cinder-I've been wasting time in q glass eye.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Easiest May.

Where did you get all that hard cash?"
 From a soft thing"
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Can Get Drunk at Home.

Dallas. Text is unlawful to get drunk at any place except yonr OWE home, according to law passed by the Texas legislature at 2 recent SC e5s;ss..i.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

Liquid blue Is a weak solution. Avoid it.. Buy Red Cross Ball Blue, the blue that's all blue. Ask your grocer. Adv
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
THE BEST HOT WEATHER TONIC,
 GROVES TASTELESS ChiI TONIC The Old Standard General Tonic Drives out Malaria. Erriclles the Blood and Builds up the Whole System.
FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

It combination of QUNINE and IRON strengthens and GROVES TASTELESS chill Ch debility and Mothers and Pale Sck Children Bioun Relieves depression
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

The woman of fashion considers 1t a great feat to be able to wear small shoes.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

Many a man has been sold who didn't get his price.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

The Old Standard general strengthening tonic, fGROV E'S TAsFELBSS chilrTONIC, drives out Ma lara. enriches the blood and builds up the
 A Asare Appetizer, @o1 adults; and children. b0scsa
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23

When put to the test, some virtues are found to be thinly veneered.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
Wasn't overIookinq .Anythinc.

"That Lawyer of minethas a nerve.' Why so?"
 Listen to this item in his bill: Tor waking up in the night and thinking over your case, So. "4Pathfinder.
Judsonia weekly advance., 1913-07-23
IN SUCH PAIN
 WOMAN TORE
 HER CLOTHES
Testifies She Was Restored to Health by Lydia E. Pinkharn's Vegetable
 Compound.

Malone, N. Y, -" Lydia E. Pink hams Vegetable Compound has cer-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1913-05-01
Retaliation.

A "Weary Willie" of the genus hobo
lay down to enjoy a MONDAY siesta un-
der an apple tree beside the road. The
season was midsummer, the sun was
piping hot. and the hobo's nap dispos-
ed him to good humor with all the
world. So it was that on opening his
eyes he lay for some time observing
the flies and the mosquitoes swarming
on his greasy clothes until up buzzed
a busy mosquito, lit on Mr.. Tramp's
breast and stung him.
Aroused to action by this imperti-
nence. the tramp Indignantly brushed
off the insects. eXclaiming:
"Just for that. now. every one of you
get right off"-EverybOdy's