The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-06-21
GRACE AND HENRY
The Whole Village Knew They
Were In Love When They
Married.


Married.
BY MAupE J. PERKINS.
That Henry Walters and Grace
Brown were in love with each other
when they married there could be no
sort of doubt. The whole village of
would have sworn to it.
why. I saw 'em hold hands over
an hour, and they did not let go once
to scratch their noses. though know
they itched," said little Mrs. Watkins.
"And right with me looking on"
added Mrs. Flint, "he told her that il
she caught the humps and died he'd
commit suicidei"
No, there could be no question Of
their loving, and it seemed q safe
thing to predict happy future for
them. Henry was carpenter. earn
Ing good wages, and though Grace
knew little about housework. she was
Ambitious to learn.
What brought the clouds after few
few months? Isn't it odd that lovers
have no philosophy about them?
They do not look for any change as
time passes. There will be no cross
words or falling of in demonstrations
Of affection. Behold them! Henry
smashes his thumb with the hammer
one day, and he goes home thinking
what a fool he was to hit his thumb
instead Of the nail. He found his wife
in bed with a headache. She was
vexed about It. Why hadn't the all
ment come to some one else! Why
wasn't Henry at home to put a wet
cloth on her forehead and utter words
of sympathy?
you are an awfully careless man."
she said as he entered the house hold
Ing his bruised and bleeding thumb.
IT you hadn't got your feet wet or
something you wouldn't have head
ache" was the reply.
These were the first cross words
and queerly enough each one was rath-
er glad OF 1t. It was q change from
the honeysuckle program. Grace had
never thought that Henry could strike
his thumb with a hammer, and If any
one had told Henry that Grace would
ever have headache, he would have
opened his eyes very wide. There was
a whole month in which he could do
no work. The wife whined over tho
loss of income just as she wanted it
for summer clothes, and even limited
that her husband was content to loaf.
There had been nothing, however,
that few kisses and kind words
could not have dispelled had the out
siders kept outside, but they didn't
Their gossip and criticisms and ad-
vice kept the pot boiling until each
Of the principals got the idea that he
was a martyr and the other was Who'll
ly to blame.
Grace told the whole village that
Henry boxed her ears.
Henry told the whole village that
her cooking made him Ill, and that
her temper had become so Satanic
that he was really afraid to sleep In
the house.
Grace warned the neighbors that If
she was found chopped up with the
AZ some morning to see that Henry
was promptly and properly hung as
high as Mr.. Haman or Captain Kidd.
It was more exciting than dog
fight for time, and there was talk
that boom in real estate would fol-
low. Then the affair began to weary
folks, and there was talk that the law
ought to be invoked. Such a dog-and-
cat couple ought to be made to get a
divorce. Such 4 pickering must lead
to murder after awhile. It was Dea-
con Frazer who suggested a remedy.
He was a good man, though the rem
edy he brought forward was rather
heroic for churchman. An anony-
nous letter was received by the quar-
reling couple. It was to the effect
that If they did not at cease cease
their pickering or<apply for divorce,
something very unpleasant would hap.
pen to them.
"You can see what you have done!"
said the husband after reading his
letter.
And you can see what you have
done," was retorted.
Nothing can happen to me. Every
body knows where the blame rests"
Surely they do. and you can't find
a person who does not pity me. tell
you. Henry Walters, you have reached
the limit. and that letter means tar
and feathers for you!"
1T means ducking in the river
for you, and don't you forget it,"
There was less quarreling for a
week. and then it broke out again.
Then came . second anonymous let.
ter.
THE committee Of good order. will
soon wait on you," was the threat.
"This is the second and last warning.
1t will come prepared to deal with
your conduct - It deserves!"
Tar and feathers for you,,' whis-
pered the wife.
"A ducking for you," whispered the
husband.