Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-07-13

two months. an without goin' into
other "details they are prepared TO say
that II has showed no signs " alcohol
II so. Hinnissy. I'm goin' out ~ polly
ticks an into dentisthry.
But what ! can't understand Hin
missy. Is why IL this here shellac that
beams down on us firm TIL shelves 10
so bad to take. tn govermint shud go
into partnership with thin that sells
It. Here's me frind Dock Wilson an
me frind willum McAdoo an me frind
wilium Jennings Bryan settin' together
discussin' tn report iv tn Sicrety ~
tn Threasury. Mack, says tn Prisi-
dint. I hope ye don't drink L sim
cerely hope SO. too says tn Sicrety Nv
State. drink very little says tn
Sicrety ~ tn Threasury Don't do II
at ALL says tn Prisidint It's Q tur-
rbie habit Drink is tn curse Nv
modhren civilyxation. 1t fills our citi-
zens an IL flls our Jails an our pini-
tinchries. our insane asylums an our
wurruk houses with our citizens. Stop
1t now. Ye say ye had only wan glass
iv claret at dinner? II is wan too
below. We will now take up tn nnan-
cyal report he says. Well says tn
Sicrety Nv tn Threasury. to begin with
I'm glad to tell We that tn intarnal
rivnoo receipts fr tn oomin year will
be about millyun dollars more thin
they were last year. base these fg-
ures on tn increasin' thirst iv our PEG.
pie.' How splindid.' says tn Prisidins.
I name how tur-rble. How tur-rbly
splindid. It names much to tn admin. .
isthration.' he says. This is good news
indeed says wilium Jennings Bryan
An there ye ARE. ! can't make Il
out, but there's lots Nv things In tn
WuTIuiu tndt CdH 7 Hdho Out
suppose tn govermint is like mesilf.
No wan is more iv a timp-rance ad-
vycate thin i am. fr I've had ex-
peeryance. II 70 think tits a pleasure
fr me to stand here ladlin' out this
household ammonya an listenin' to tn
harsh sounds II causes We to mistake
81 conya - ton We don't kpor M TO
had me way an didn't love tn beauti-
full sthream on whose banks I've lived
these nanny years I'd take all tn stun
in thin bottles an poor thin into tn
Chicago river. I wud so. I don't UNI
dherstand how amy wan pays me fP
it. 1t wud be just as reasonable fr
We to say, Here, take two dollars an
hit me over tn head with tn bung
starter It wud be more SO. fr in that
case ye wudden't come back fr more.
But what am / to do? I spose tn gov
ermint an mesilf ARE in tn same
boat We both have to be supported.
an this is tn on'y way we know. An
it's q pretty good sign that tn people
ar-re slowin' down on tn stun whin
our statesmin ar-re askin' all tn
wurruld to step up an have a smell.
FIR statesman. Hinnissy. is a fellow
that finds out which way tn pro-
cissyon is goin' an thin runs out an
grabs tn stick away firm tn dhrum
major"
'Ye don't think T. r. liver dhrank too
much. do YEP asked Mr.. Hennessy.
I've been q student az well as an In
sthructor Nv tn drink habit fr NANNY
years." said Mr.. Dooley. AN I'll tell
you this: l know firm observation that
no ardent COLLECTOR Nv specimens Nv rum
can keep on goin' fast. He can go fast
sometimes, but he can't go far an go
fast At best he's a quarther horse,
an Outlines whin he thinks he's gone
mile he's ra-aly been left at tn post"
Copyright. 1918. by Finley Peter Dunns.)