davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

ing about her )--And here's Whefe he
: ltves-Triy : dsfddy-Oh- love this
. room. i do love it,. Enters Sumner;
he stops AT table staring at Cynthia
. She TOO, stands stock still, gazing at
him: After..a pause. Betsy. steps. for
ward cerenoniousl7.l
~: Betsyt-.4Afiss@ Sumner. allow me the
/: honor. o t. presenting your father. Mr.
Sum nfer.-s.: Father and daughter ap
proacll: each other, slowly, smiling.
but each a triffe shy. She gives him
Z er hand. - He takes ii IN. both Of
his. Fl She smiles up ait him a: moment.
and then slips gently into his arms,
: :rflliF FIli4lriflg> slow " {.
&. daddy daddy!t .1Betsy looks
,::at.t hem. .a aornent, and then. goes out
..of.s e.Io ON: ...t.
-. sSlrnna r & as. Cynthia raises her head
from his breast, still holding both her
:; Hands MY little Cynthia. Is this
+. really4p possible Z.
:-. s.. Cynthia 1shyly1 y1------I-I've grown
haven't ! ??
:. si1nne ner4-Srown? Why-I-shouldns
have known you. think of that.
might have: passed you on the street
and i shouldn't have known you
Cynthta-Ah-but I'd have known
you
you2 You were hardly more than a
baby w.hen-when you
.cynthia-=-Yless, but mother has pic
stslre Of you.
Sunrrlier--Oh. has she2
-:Gynthia--Oh, yes.
:: :,sssi1nner-Ah. a very old one, 1t
must be-.
:. cynthia-But it looks like you.
:. daddy; you haven't changed SO
;Eanchf, ss.:.
=. .sumner-fIaven't I? Now have
Thought had
.:.5,Tntflia-oh. no. You look a lot
like the picture. ! should have known
.you anywhere Only-only, / didn't
know. you were so handsome.
- Sumner Dangling il off. but clearly
deii gfted) How now. see here you
mustn't talk like, that,
c'ynthia-0h. but l. didn't Nobody
ever told me.
'Sunfn er-ReaIfxs If you go on this
way you'll, turn my head, you know.
I'm mot used to IL.
= cyAtfia5r.Qh.. please turn around,
sumner :etarning aroundl--Turn
aroupd?
Cynthis-Yess fwant to see your
back
9 2Gooa.Lord.
g Cynthia-aOh, what dear back
& just the kind of a back l wanted my
why. you absurd little
angel.
(catches her in his sarmse
Sc. Cynthias-Oh, it's just too splendid,
. It can't be true. He holds her
hand as she lea5s back, forming a
pretty picture) Oh. daddy dear II
you're only shalf as nice as you look
Sumner-Aif, Fm afraid I'm not.
g (Sees 4bat this sounds conceited and
@laughs.) Oh, L don't mean that. "a
pause.) 80
cynthia-Ha. ha, ha. That did
sound funny. didn't It?
What / meant was that T.
well--Fm not much used to being a
father and-well, you must give me
time. But I'm going to do the best |
can. the very best can. II
Cynthia fstepping back)-Oh, l do
love you when you smile.
Sumner--DO your
cynthia-You've got the sweetest
smile.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
YOU HAVE TO
BE ASSASSINsATED

First you have to- be assassi-
mated. There are no live patriots
there. The minute a man does
anything in Mexico for the good
OF his country. at leasts one half
OF the population figure that If
he lives long enough to get hold
of a pen, he'll put the entire
country in his wife's name"
What about the other half?'
gwen, the other Tfalf are usu-
ally relatives on his wifes side.
SO between the two halves, our
Hero either gets loaded with lead,
or all marked up with writing
fluid. In the old days, when they
used to write with a quill. the
country would enjoy a little peace
and quiet, but during the last few
years they appear to have been
importing Fountain Pens and ex-
porting Blotters. All of which
has increased the Death Rate in a
much greater proportion than it
has the Bank Clearances.
TITS all well enough to take
some foreman off cocoanut
plantation, dress him up in uni
form, slip him d sword and con-
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

the tree .
This recent trouble has lasted
a good deal longer than most of
them. hasn't it2"
yes. this has been quite
Revolution. As soon as Presi4
dent Diaz got Off the Reserva-
tion great many people in diff
ferent parts of Mexico took 1t
into their heads to do a lot of Re-
claiming. Some endeavored to
reclaim Land, others to reclaim
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

Eddie. my dear. what are you cry
ing for?" said a lady to her little boy,
who had just returned from church.
Because the clergyman says that
we must all be born again, and am
afraid I shall be born a girl next
time"
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
Mike Didn't Care
eECENTLY

p a p e r S
told of the
visit of a
class sof stu
dents in soci-
ology FIR o m
the sta tie uni
versity to the
city pri j S o n.
The reporter
didn't tell all.
In the party
was a pre- tty
coed. and all
those sights
a b o u I the
prison which
are old to the
policeman and
the blase re-
y o r { e r i'm
pressed her as
startling. In
N q p fra x-a1c
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

Forth he went to all the toy shops;
Oh, the money he would pay
For such trifles e'er Thanksgiving:
Quite the highest cost of living
Came just then to Simon Shay.
ALI his friends would laugh and snicke
Poor old Simon would they fay,
AS he bore an awkward bundle,
Or a dolls peram' would trundle,
Just a month fore Christmas day. ;.
Christmas came in dark December:
Then the friends of Simon Shay,.
Who had done no shopping early;
Moped around distrait and surly,
Making up for their delay.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
Bg6@@gnMhBQ@9 the 1ra55e (1p

been. Soldier all his lifes and he
was. pretty: well aware of the fact
:. that "a Muzzle- Loaded. Protest was
all tight in a: Pa,rlor;. but that ii
couldn't do business TO any great
/: advantage against d Breech. Load
ed. .Biillet. After he was elected
). President he notifed the Foreign
Powers what an awful'Hit he was
With the People. and Immediately
proceeded to reduce the high cost
of living in some eircles bye send
ing a few. of the opposition where
!: their Family swoufd know just
where to find them on Decoration
/. Day.
."What action dds the Foreign
Powers take?" .
They haven't. taken sanysaction,
and it looks to me as if they were
waiting for sus to run out of Am
bassadors. You see. the Monroe
Doctrine makes it 40 little hard
for the Powers to take any de-
cided action until our Government
has quit drawing cards and actu-
oily made bet.''
There's another thing I've never
understood..just what is the Mon
Doctrine?' -
Its an Imaginary Line drawn
by this Government to protect the
South American Governments
from European interference"
'.Wel. all l can say is that if
this line is as imaginary as some
of the South American govern-
ments themselves, it will never
do to hang clothes on
II think they made mistake
myself Now, If we only had
some Doctrine which would COM
pei us to step in every time one
of our neighbors got interfering
with themselves, we wouldn't
have to be sending our Army off
for Maneuvers eveEy Summer, and
there'd be a good deal less talk
among our Officers about the
Slowness of Promotions. Person
ally. / have no objections to
Sham Battles, but why get our
own Country all mussed up?'
THE MAJORITY
or MUsKETS
sI guess this Government must
have given General Huerta a
pretty stiff talk, for, according to
reports, he has just held an Elec-
ton
He did that-and he didn't
even put 1T down long enough for
any one to vote against him. The
Army voted for him to a man. He
was elected by the most splendid
Majority Of Muskets in Mexican
History"
What do you think this Gov
ernment will do now?"
L understand they are going
to protest the election"
'Protest--to whom
.tWhy, to General Huerta.'
II thought you told me they
hadn't recognized General Huerta.'
They haven't"
We'll, how the thunder can
they protest to a man they have
not recognized ?"
That's easy"
1How?"
: 'Send another Ambassador
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

in one place. And If 1T wasn't in
Zone q of our Parcel Post, the
cost of kilograms would make :
dead issue of the muchly dis
cussed Currency BILL"
fact that Mexico was in Zone
Of our Parcel Post, the cost of
kilograms would make a dead is
sue OF the muchIy discussed Cur
rency BILL"
WHY NOT DO WITH
ONE AMBASSADORS
What's the idea of sending
down so many ambassadors? Why
doesn't this government recognize
the President of Mexico and let
the Ambassador on the job pitch
the game out?''
That isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's one thing to recognize Pres
ident who has been elected by
Popular Vote, but it's quite an
other to bow to one who had him
self elected by what is known in
Parliamentary Parlance as the
Bayonet Ballot. There are a lot
of people in Mexico who want to
vote. but who haven't been able to
because they can't shoot
Who is the President of Mex
leo now?"
General Huerta-''
"IIow did he get in p
''As nearly as I can get at it,
he was the head OF the Army. One
day he asked the soldiers IL they
thought he would make pretty
fair President. and without wait
ing for the returns from some of
the outlying precincts. he thanked
them for their loyalty. had his
measure taken for q throne. ap-
pointed Cabinet, made a lot of
arrests and had the Secretary read
the Minutes"
did any of the people pro-
test?'
FIND THEM ON
DECORATION DAY
~ es, in fact whole districts did.
and as fast as they Protested they
were Prescribed. Tho General had
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

ture on Bayonet. Practice. IF you
keep quiet and try TO. mind. your
own business, you're a couspira
tor. and If you talk out loud. you :
are a traitor"
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

-
be- I didn't pay much at
tention to it at first, so I'm just
little out of touch with the con-
ditions When did this Mexican
trouble start2"
= don't know when it started"
replied the Traffic Cop. but I do
know that ever since they have
been able to print histories,
things in Mexico have been aln-
settled And. strange as it may
seem to you. Corporal. the unset
tied conditions have always been
in the most thickly settled part
of the country
That's what they call Para
dox. isn't it2''
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

Cynthia 6look-- { I (.
.abo.Ii;t. with disap,-..
pointment Oh.
s-untie, isn't. he at.
home ?? j.
.eR eft sy % (:
course ! he .isssIiells
be herein mo.
n1.en.t.
Cynthia. = Have
-ha We you told
h!im.22. =:
Betsy h YES.
I've told. him
Cynthia Does
.he-dioes. he. want
meg oh auntiels.
which Is his
room2
b is y::s{point-
ing 1T here -
Cynthia. Gin rap
'ture oh,
b ct sy Yes
S sthe. sacred
j.. +.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

Sumner-Reallyi
=; Cynthia-Didn't anybody ever tell
you?
:. Sumner don't think its been
called to my attention-at any rate,
not recently
hia:--oh. please smile all the
time when I'm with you, daddy deart
. Sumner-Tm afraid ii would grow
monotonous. Besides, I have a splen-
did frown.
s. Cynthia-Oht (Dubious.)
Sumner-Oh. yes; you. should see
ME when J. frown.: It's very awe, in
spring.
;Gynthia--I'm sure would be ter.
-rfbly frightened. Please don't ever
ffowr at me-.
Sumner---Afl II right, I.won't, if you
promise never TO leave me.
e,ynthia-And.-ard you're sure you
want me?
Want you.
+ cyn1hia on are sure i won't be
in the way2
Suauer NV. dear, I've always
wanted alwags--but not SO
much as now.
Cvnthia-oh. daday. daddy fshe
turns. IN his arms and bnries her-faee
On his breast.l
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
The Muse of the
Hlamd!lh01di1ng Age
By. Lee w. Nelson
That. Awful Moment!

Have you. ever, friend, 'courted lasse,
One Of the best in. the world, -
The Kind with the dimple and ways that simple
And hair that is wavy and curleds
Did you ever, friend, call her your sweetest
- When lights lowered, you two sat alone.
Did you heave few sighs and gaze into her eyes?
Did you say she yours and your own,
:. Did. you ever, friend, sit. if the parlor
With her to yotir side closely pressed?
With her head your shoulder, and you growing boder
Was it then that. your love you confessed?
Did you ask: her friend, if she would we'd you
When your battle Of love you had waged?
In manner surprised which you hadn't surmised,
Did she tell you that she was engaged
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

vince him he is. the Peoples
Choice. but when IT comes to Let:
ting him write home about tt
that's what makes Revolutions.
Its a strange thing. Corporal. but
: the people at home never seem to
feel that their. Favorite Son. is ::
getting his full cut up. at the
Capitol
There is. Revolutions in Mex
:. leo now. isn't there?f'
What day is it?''
"Saturday;''
ALLOWING for slight differ
ence in time. 4 should say the
Grand March of the Regular
Weekly Revolution was.just about.
turning into the Main Aisle
Why do they. have so. many
Revolutions 2"
For the same reason that
Southern California has oranges
and the San Joaquin Valley has
bar1ey-it's their best crop and"
:. Yields more to- fhe acre than any.
thing else they can raise
Mexico lis a fairly rich Nation,
isn't ito ] read great deal about
their enormous plantations and
;. the wealth of their mines. +
should think they would spend
more time developing their .coun-
tti
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

What is an. entomelogist. Mother
Dear9
An entomoboligst is a woman who
periodically appears in her back yard
carrying the. bed Stats and pours boil
ing water over them.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
NO BULLET-PROOF :
DEVELOPER

.'ff ever they invent a Bullet
Proof Developer. Mexico will be-
lending us money. without inter-
est. just to get rid of it. But it's
pretty hard to worlc mine satis-
. factorily If the superintendent in
charge of the Dynamite is an In
: surgent, and the man running the
Hosting Engine lis in sympathy
with the Government, particularly
If they both insist in continuing
their Political Q.uarrels on your
tipe.
Il. dont know much about rails
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

~ NOTICE" said the Cor
ss poral. taking a paper from
4 his hip pocket that the
Mexican situation isn't
quite as clear as it might
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01
FIND THEM ON
DECORATION DAY

''Ye es, in fact whole districts did.
and as fast as they Protested they
were Prescribed. The General had
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-01

And their wages for December
Melted rapidly away
As they bought what they found neares
Oh, it always is the dearest
On the eve of Christmas day. ):
With his home stocked up with present
Fer November sped away,
Si has now no cause for spending 81:
"Guess I'll do little lending"
Si declared fore Christmas day.
Oh. the jibing friends came meekly
To the house of Simon Shay.
oh, the money they must borrow, -.
Paying interest, to their sorrow, ::
Ten per cent till New Years day: "
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
Seven IN the Bible.

The number seven plays a prominent
part IN events IN the Bible. The crea-
ton took six days. and on the seventh
there was rest. On the seventh day Of
the seventh month j holy observance
was ordained. and the Israelites feast
ed seven days and rested seven days.
Noah had seven days warning Of the
food. and the seven years Of plenty
were foretoid in Pharaoh's dream By
seven fat beasts, as were the seven lean
years by seven lean beasts We speak
Of the seven heavens. and the seventh
son was supposed TO be endowed with
pre-eminent wisdom. In short, there IS
no other number which enters into the
Bible SO often as seven. No doubt the
wide popularity of the number and the
superstitions which are connected with
1t came from its wide use in the Bible
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27

At the tine wisen Louis Napoleon VS.
president ~ the FsretNn rea,mEasls siss'
CON ma neer IT Lyons was ssenaraas "a
se.saGe. al 51d sals.is-r whose sierra rstis.
kspG q chez : fise rissssus sgssTlES af 1Aas
disorClerly cifv. one III the most s'srls
ferrous of the laifer WIS a tsarsses- = p.
openly soaStesl THAT NJ onfx waited ftsf
tie ounartlnIry az ridasiz- tie sssy ~
lis stern commander TIE genera.
heard CT the threat and asse aF7eFsafssssl
ordered his coachrnan TO drive q tae
BARRIERS shop. Leaving his csirE9siE;f.
the general entered the shop uuafTeE7d
"a. took a seat in Il vacant chair aisa
desired the barber 70 shave MIN ] ait
asrouished braggart performed TIE os'
Grafton as well as his nervousness
would permit When ne bad finished
the general. while paying him. quietly
said:
Monsieur. since you have not awaited
yourself Of the opportunity 10 cut ms
throat which / have given ron. would i
not be wise for you 10 refrain from Ut
tering threats that you have not tns
courage 70 carry out!"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
GENIUS AID VANITY.
schorenFszuer Mas Net 1T Afraid 70
Praise Himself 0as Loud.

Sclae rse L. .er. tie E-egs German phi
IFssor ~. ssz 81 ole II me nsost re-
marble exs -zs.ss-S Of SCI eomulaeency
that has ever been knoxa- HIS naive
euiogisns on hts owl predictions are
almost beyond belief II writing rs.
his publishers ef his work he says.
Its worth and Importance are 80
great that % not venture 70 express
IL even toward ron because y0u could
not believe me- and he proceeds n
quote a review which speaks OF ne
with the highest praise as the greatest
philosopher OF the age. which Is really
saying much less than the good man
thinks
Sir he said 70 an unofendin-
stranger who watched him across
table dhote where he acted the part OF
the local s.lion~ habituailT--sir. you
are evidently astonished at my appe-
ttte. True, eat three times as much
az ron, but then i have three times as
much mind
Auerbach. the German novelist also
had q great appreciation OF his own
powers and work. and many stories
are told Of the obtrusive way In which
he displayed his vanity 4 German
writer says OF him: Every year Auer-
bach visits three or four fashionable
watering places. at each OF which the
following episode occurs at least thirty
times The novelist INDUCES In small
talk with the little children Of the ma
.tives and invariably ends the CONVEX
sation thus. 'Knowest thou who has
been talking with thee7 Behold Auer-
bach. Tell that at homer"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
lacking EXPLAINED.

What do people mean when they
talk about tacking?" asked Bobby, who
had listened to a detailed account Of
his sisters first experience in a sail
boat, but in considerable confusion Of
mind.
"Oh, you'll know when you're a little
bit older" said his sister. but the small
round face wore an expression Of in
jury, and she had TO explain further
Why, its just turning halfway
round" she said. with slight hesitation.
"and then-and then you sail on the
bias
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
Lar,h,s stamina

If you must stammer ny to stammer
TO yourself When you have tut-tutted
and gur-gurred sufficiently to your
self you viii be ready with the word
II is quite astonishing how soon the
inaudible stammer becomes unneces-
sary and the word is whipped out
But there are some men who hdg a
tammer-stammerin always in the
right p.ace-lifung curiosity to tiptoe
in the listener Charles Lamb STAN
mered. but always in the right place.
as when be went to buy cheese sthe
story may be quite untruei The shop
man offered to send it home Lamb
Inspected it Then be asked for a
bit of string. Il think he said. I
could I-I-I-l-ead Il home = London
Spectator.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
The Harvest.

Where the river winds through grassy
meadows as sure as the south wind
brings the rain. sounding his note in
the reedy alders. the starting comes
back to his nest again. Are these not
miracles? Promptly you answer.
Merely the prose of natural fact:
nothing but instinct plain and patent.
born in the creatures, that bids them
act" Well. | have an instinct as fine
and valid. surely. as that of the beasts
and birds, concerning death and the
life Immortal too deep for logic. too
vague for words No trace Of beauty
can pass or perish. but other beauty is
somewhere born; no seed OF truth or
good be planted. but the yield must
grow as the growing corn.-Bliss Car.
man.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
Won a Grim Smile.

A certain European regiment sta
toned In northern India has a colonel
who has only once been seen 10 laugh
a private Of this corps. while
prisoner in the guard room for mill
tary offense. bet the sergeant Of the
guard ) rupees that he would make
the commanding officer laugh when he
was taken before him.
In due course. after reading the
charge. the colonel asked the prisoner:
Have you anything TO says"
II won't say anything more about it
sir. If you won't, was the unexpected
reply.
The grim face relaxed. but the stern
decision came all the same:
Fourteen days confined 10 bar
racks. "-London Answers.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27

Mrs Brown-Jones (which isn't her
name ar all. nor nothing ike 10 has
new parEor maid Last Thursday Was
Mrs. BIS day at home Six callers
we're at the door. and each pronsred
her card
Hilda looked the cards over care
fully one by one
.sYouse ladies ISIS all wronk" she de-
cided finally. -'One OF your tickets ISIS
fer Mrs. Choseph Thompson. one iss
fer Mrs Miller. one ISIS fer Miss Chenks
and Miss Mabel Chenks-and den
dere's tree odders. all wrnnk names.
ret Try next door. Goodby.~
Then she went back TO her mistress.
None OF EN- wanted 10 see YOU she
beamed .'Deir tickets vas fer odder
houses. l guess maybe dey amt lifted
here Iongr'-CieveIand Plain Dealer
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
GRIT or A SHARPSH00TER.
Sergeant t4aIIiweIPs Feat at the siegs
of Lucknow.

Sergeant HaIliweli's Feat al the Siege
of Lucknow
During the siege or Lucknow in the
Indian mutzny there was afforded what
was probably the most notable instance
Of the record N war OF crack shot
The rebels were endeavoring TO
mount two contemporaries. which
they had hauled up TO the fat roof Of
one OF the palaces surrounding the res
idency. and it was necessary 10 pre-
vent this being done, or they would
have been able 10 pour down a heavy
fire on the defenders. Sergeant HalIi-
well was chosen for this duty. He was
q crack shot OF the Thirty foot
Being given the best rife that could
be found. his orders were to prevent
the guns being mounted. He took up
his position behind some battered down
masonry where there was only cover
for him 10 lie at full length. He re-
manned in that position. 1t Is said. for
several days. not being able TO stand,
inasmuch as that would have resulted
in instant death. His only change was
TO roll over from his back 70 his stom-
ach. His eyes were ever kept on the
dismounted guns. and whenever the
Sep0ys attempted 70 mount them his
unerring rife played havoc among
them and prevented their object being
accomplished. Food was brought b
him at night by men who crawied -
his position.
After some time a sortie was made.
and the Sepoys were defeated. For
this brave work Sergeant Halliweii re-
ceived the Victoria cross. = Harper 5
Weekly.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
The Tact Market.

Chancellor James r. Day was once
advising a young undergraduate OF
Syracuse university TO cultivate tact
But, alas, he said. Il fear that advice
on such a subject must always be
wasted On. tact the last word was
spoken BY Barley d'Aureville when he
said:
If tact could be bought only those
already possessed OF it would want to
buy it,"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27

" re e s ter,
Mass, January q.
Pastor Russell
had crowds 10
hear him today
We report his dis
course from the
The shall
90 away into ever
lasting pu Is a :
N e mt: but the
righteous into life
eternal. - Mat
thew 25:46.
The speaker de
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
The CLEANING

What's the cleaning. Uncle VIII
liamT'
Well. before a man is married it is
the time to take a walk with the girl
he loves, but after he is married it is
the time he falls over rocking horses
and building blocks on the parlor
floor. London Telegraph.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-01-27
The euraIs in the Bottle

Why does water gurgle when poured
from bottle? As water pours cut air
attempts to pour in. Occasionally the
hand holding the bottle may move and
give the air the opportunity The quick
rush Of the water to iii the hole made
BY the air causes the gurgling sound