The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-05-24
Saturday Nighters Make TrOu-
BILE for Their Guests.
Political and Private Goats Are
Battered and Sold.
MARTIN COULDN'T STAND GAFF
Brown, Dawson and TrOutman
More Fortunate.
Hodges New Reform Victim of
Joke Makers.

For four hours Friday night the
Democratic state administration, the
men behind the Republican harmony
movement, heads of state departments,
state officers and political leaders of
all parties and factions were roasted
and toasted on the gridiron at the
thirtieth annual banquet of the sat
urday Night club at the Elks club hall.
Every important move and act of the
men prominent in the affairs OF the
state and nation, so far as Kansas Is
concerned, were the victims OF the
jokesmithS who moulded the run TOT
the largest crowd the Saturday Night
banoueters have ever entertained.
From 1880 in the evening until
nearly midnight, the special press
dispatches told in startling language
of the doings of the Democratic gov
ernor, of United States Senator
Thompson, of Henderson Martin, OF
"Ironjaw'' Brown. the chiropractors'
the harmony leaders and of the Reg
ular ard Progressive leaders 1nd1Vld-
ually and collectively. Under the
glare of a powerful searchlght, the
speakers tried to speak, they tought
against interruptions and some OF
them made successful efforts to keep
. I'm their end of the running cross fire
of questions from club members.
Henderson s. Martin, chairman OF the
utilities commission, surrendered ana
retired without completing his speech.
Chief of Police Hughes feared - the
worst and did not attend the dinner.
The other speakers on the program
came under the wire more or less torn
and battered as the result of their eX-
periences.
Startling Press Dispatches.
Early in the evening the press dis
patches" began to give a line on po-
1itical weather dope. A dispatch from
Emporia stated that Theodore Roose-
Welt had wired William Allen Whlte;
Don't let the Republicans harmonic
unless they harmonic on me-" A lit
tie later the press board declared that
Dave Mulvane had just received tel
egram from Bill Barnes of Albany.
ITO hell with harmony" Barnes was
quoted as wiring.
The crowd went wild when g. bull
1etin from Lansing was posted declar-
ing that Jerry Botkin, the new peni-
Tertiary warden, had announced as a
new policy that he would give spoon
full of Peruna to every convict with a
clean record. Then Albert t. Reid, IN
charge of the press reports, posted a
statement that the Kansas chiroprac-
tors in convention in Wichita, had sent
n delegation to Topeka to examine Gov
ernor Hodges backbone Still anoth
er telegram stated that Senator
Thompson had shown his biographical
sketch to President Wilson and in his
delight, the president had agreed to
tia. A late report from Emporia gave
the news that fire of incendiary origin
had been discovered in the whiskers
of Harrison Parkman, state fire mar
shall.
Martin Was Bumped.
Then the room was suddenly darken-
ed. President Charles Sessions pounded
with his big gavel. The grill for the
speakers was under way. For ten min
utes Sessions distributed fun at the ex-
I,~A e,11
the tension a bit and the guests on the
speaking program felt better. They
knew they were not alone. Harry j.
Bone added to the situation by clever
chronological discussion of the bumps
on the heads of the members.
Introduction of Henderson Martin was
started-never finished. long dis
lance call from Washington with Sena-
tor Thompson on the other end of the
wire was supposed to be telling Charles
Sessions to advise Martin that Hodges
would be brought into the Kansas fight
If Martin did not stay out of the pat
ronage fight. A bit groggy, Martin start
ed to speak. Then a delegation of
postoffice candidates from the rural
routes rushed into the room and over
whelmed the former Democratic state
chairman. The ruralists advised Mar
tin that Thompson had given them the
double cross and asked his support for
local postof1ces. He promised everyone.
But Martins speech was gone. A few
minutes later he retired.
Jarrelrs Clever Show.
1t was Frank farrell, though, who
made one of the big hits of the even
ing in his burlesque of the 1913 legisla-
tive session. With rag dolls sitting on
the chair, FARRELL opened the session of
the house, made the motions, moved
the rag dolls to fit the situation and
called out noisy applause as he repre-
sented Speaker Brown in calling the
speaker pro tenn to the chair that the
speaker might make a motion, then re-
calling Miles Mulroy as the speaker re-
turned to the chair to sustain his own
point of order.
James a. Troutman told of "Har-
mony." For five minutes tire club mem
bers tried to interrupt the harmony
leader, but Troutman never stopped.
At the end of is minutes he concluded
a clever speech with the assertion that
the Kansas movement could and would
bring together the warning factions of
the Republican party. AS Troutman
was talking, telephone call from
Washington announced that Senator
Bristow wanted It understood that he
was for the harmony program, but
didn't want it printed. The one condi-
ton surrounding Bristow'S feaItv to
the cause was his own denomination
Speaker w. L ("Iron Jaw Brown
told the Saturday Nighters about the
1918 legislature. Brown is
a member of the penal board and re-
Gently bought some goats for the prison
farm. A half dozen disappointed farm
err Democrats entered the banquet hall
to remind Brown that they had at their
DISPOSAL the goats that the state most
needed. A a nominal price, Brown who
aspires for the United States senate,
was offered the goats of every possible
Notwithstanding Orr, Waggener
Martin, Farrelly, and even Hodges But
Brown never f1inched. He bought goats
right and left Then he made his
speech. in which he admitted the last