Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1913-12-12
CLIENTS
CrankS With Whom Lawyers
| Sometimes Have to Deal.
QUEER CASES OUT OF COURT.

Ancestor" Clients Are Quite Common,
and Their Claims Are Just About as
Visionary as Those of Numerous
Patent Seekers Are Freakieh.
what is the most peculiar case that |
has ever been brought to you by a
prospective client?' was the question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the ablest lawyers in New York.
The lawyer said that probably the
oldest client who had ever visited him
was woman about forty years old.
who wanted to bring suit against one
of the Sunday newspapers for not hav-
ing printed an account of her latest
social function" on its society page,
rs she had particularly requested over
the telephone.
AS the second oldest client. he cited
the case of another woman who had
come to him in tears and sought to en-
list his legal aid in making her hus-
band stop flirting. THE woman as
sured me that she loved her husband
and that she knew her husband loved
her, but that he had a habit Of wink
ing at every good looking woman he
saw" said the lawyer. when / told
her there was no legal redress for her,
inasmuch as she said l was fool If
even thought she or her husband want
ed divorce, she exclaimed that l was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
of and left my office in rage"
The same question was put to sever
al other lawyers and an unbelievably
peculiar assortment of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case of
Il man who asked him to represent him
for two months at the patent Office in
Washington. Il want you to go there,
stay there and represent me-" he said.
But" interposed the attorney, what
in the world do you want me to do
while 1 am there?'
The man drew his chair close to the
lawyers and in low tones told the at
torney that he had invented an "aero-
plane clock" as he called it, and that
he wanted him to go to the patent Of
| flee and prevent any other inventor
from sneaking in a similar invention
while the authorities are in a careless
mood"
The man seemed to be in his normal
senses despite the fact that his highly
priced invention was absolutely moth
ing more than q small watch fastened
in leather case, the sort that may be
seen in stores anywhere. When he
had impaired this information the law
yer pointed out that there was moth
ing patentable about his Invention"
"There isn't, eh?" shouted the man.
Indeed there is, Who has ever
thought before this of putting a clock
in an airship?"
The attorney sought to humor him
and said, Wouldn't a watch in the
aviator's pocket do as well?"
The man jumped up. That's just
the point" he cried. 1T would not do
as well, because it might fall out"
Against such logic the attorney said
he found himself helpless. and he told
the man he feared the case was too
difficult for him to handle.
Another strange client who visited a
patent lawyer wanted to secure pat
ent on n flower clothespin." The lat
ter was an ordinary wooden clothespin
with Il little wire point on top. On the
latter fresh flowers might be stuck,
thereby, according 10 the inventor,
"giving the cotheslines the appearance
of flower gadens." He saw fortune
from the sale OF his pins in cities.
When the lawyer assured him that
besides the fact that there was more
sentimentality than practicability tC
his invention, pin stuck in the enc
of the wood would serve just as effec
lively as the invented" piece of wire
the client threatened to bring suit
against him for violation of conf
dence."
Another patent lawyer said that the
oldest client who had ever come tt
him was young woman who wanted
his help in getting a patent. literally
on an idea"
"What is your idea?" asked the law
} yer curiously.
The young woman refused to tel
him, saying that she hesitated to di
, vulge the nature of her idea until |
/ had been secured by patent. 81 won
, trust anybody with it, not even you,
she told the lawyer.
, Like the famous Anneke Jams heirs
; there are numerous strange cases o
so called ancestor clients to be hat
: from the lawyers.
One of the oldest of these is cite,
: by New York lawyer of wide prac
, tice. "Not long ago" he says. "ther
.. came to my office n woman who insist
ed that she owned the lower part o
the Hudson river. having inherited
from Henry Hudson, her ancestor. b.
!, right of discovery
"If this seems an exaggerated cas-
] shall cite n second one that is strar
ger still. Last winter man. who sal
| h, hn1 InI tn