El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-09-04
Little BObbie and His Pa
The Family Has Company, Some Of
Mas Friends, and Pa Tries
to Entertain Them.
By William r. hirk-


TTHARE was an awful funny cup
pei cain to visit pa & ma last
mite. Thare naim was mister
& NIssus Blume. I think thare naim
shud have been gloom Thay was
both of them as sad ds if the wurld
was cumming to a end
1 knew that pa dident like them,
oeekaus ne IS awful Jolly moast OF
the time, but ma sed that they was
old trends of the family so thay wud
have to be entertained.
L wud be glad to entertain them,
pa sed to ma out in the kitchen, but
thay look so sad that 1 dOant know
what 90 do for their plesur, unless L
spank littel BObbie q maik him cry.
1 have newer did that yet. sed pa,
and 1 hate 10 start in now
Oh, I guess thay amt as bad as all
that. ma sed. JAst 90 out now & en-
terrain them till I cum
So pa & me went out into the living
room vile ma was Citing sum late
supper for the cumpany.
Well, sed pa to Mister BlUme, see
that Matty won another gain yester-
day. He is doing pritty well for a
poor old cripple that is all in. isent he2
sed pa
I do not pay much attention to the
petty triumfs Of baseball player.
sed Mister Blume. He may be a idol
among the unthinking. but was Cae-
sar baseball player No He was
a crate general
about generals. Well, sir. I think
that NapOlyun was about the niftiest
general that ever told his men to go
& git drilled by bullets He was a
far sited man. sed pa Wen his starv-
ing, frozen Grand Armee was blunder-
ing back from Moscow he cud look
far enuff ahed to git out of II hisself,
SO he took six of the best horses &
for Paris, leeving his poor sOljers to
sit hOam the best way thay cud.
on, yes, ne was a inhuman man,
sed Mister Blume- He Waded to his
triumfs thru a sea of blood, of blood,
blood blood. Then Mister & Missus
Blume looked awful blue & sad
General Thomas was crate gen
eraI, too. sed pa They called him
the Rock OF ChickymauSa- If it had
not been for him the army of the
Potomac Wud never have got to the
sea with Sherman, Sed pa I ought
TO know, pa sed- I was one of the
first OSifers to reach the sea L got
there ahead Of Sherman, pa sed.
was out taking a swim in the surf wen
he got thare-
Mister Blume looked at pa kind of
hard for minnit, but pa dident turn
red 1 turned kind of red for him,
but Mister Blume Wasent looking at
me, so he dident know that pa was
lying.
Wen. sed Mister BIume. you may
have been in that awful war, but
WeJher you were no not, thare were
RELY CRATE men in those days & the
peepul RELY loved them. Now we
have no RELY crate men, Jest wen
we begin to think one of them is
crate, up Gums a inquiry & somebody
produces a lot of Cancelled checks. &
the crate mans naim is mud The
crate men are all mOldering in thare
graves, sed Mister Blume.
& the crate winner, too, Sed Mis-
sus Blume- Oh, dear me, what is this
Wurld cumming too.
ca, I think YOU must be a crate W.
man. I toad Missus Blume. Then she
RELY smiled & called me a deer Iittel
man 1t made me think of a lttel
verse herd on the stage:
The wise man is wise in his wis
DOM
The fool thinks he's wise in his
folly;
But the high & the low. warever
you go
Are all easy marks for a jolly.