Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1913-05-20

Because obediently he tried
To babble In a pleasant way
Concerning graces others had
And triumphs that had made him glad
Chicago Record-Herald-
II understand that Smith is going to
sue Jones for assaultng him."
Yes; Smith received serious dam
ages in person and feelings"
"Then what is he trying to get more
for?"-Baltimore American.
How shall we shun the microbe
That assails US at each breath2
Ii he can't kill US otherwise
He'll Brighten US to death.
st Louis Globe-Democrat
Reform should be conducted In a
scientific way" said the economist.
"Quite true" replied Professor High
brow. THE only trouble with scien-
tific reform Is that by the time you get
through with a diagnosis it's liable to
be too late for a remedy."-Washing-
ton Star.
X,
With love for the game immense
That good old fashioned knothole
That grows In the baseball fence.
Judge
First Lieutenant-As we were going
over the river on the plank bridge 1t
gave way, and the men fell in.
Second Lieutenant-Whatd did you do?
First Lieutenant-I ordered them to
fall out, Of course.-St Paul Pioneer
Press.
He roamed half round the world OF woe
Where toll and labor never cease,
Then dropped one little span below
In search Of peace.
And now to him mild beams and show
All that he needs to grace his tomb.
From loneliest regions at all hours.
Unsought for. come.
New York Mail
81 had q tough time delivering the
mail yesterday" declared the postman
How was that2'
Had a bulldog and a chunk Of liver
in the same deliyery."-LouisvilIe Cou.
rier-Journal
It's easy enough to look pleasant
When everything runs along fine,
But the fellow worth while
Is the one who can smile
When some idiot steps on his shine.
Washington Star
Cholly Callow-They say, you know,
that music makes the hair grow.
Miss Jolleigh-If you think it will
help your mustache I'll play something
for you.-Boston Transcript
IT hold no brief for any trust"
The lawyer said.
mo magazine with lot OF dust
Supplies my bread.
Two often gnawed a moIdy crust
Or chewed quid.
I hold no brief for any trust
I wish didl"
Pittsburgh Post
Emily tat prom)-I wonder If Phil
expects me to dance the turkey trot
with hlm2
Dorritt-I don't see why. / heard
him call you a bear a minute ago.
Wisconsin Sphinx.
There was once a happy old Ute
Who dwelt at the top of butte.
All day long he would toot
On a crazy old flute.
oh, he was beaut of a UteI
Springfield Union.
Jim-why aren't you at work today3
Out on striker
Tom-Yes. I struck the boss for q
raise, and he fred me.-Boston Globe.
Don't argue, son. It's better far
To try to keep away from It
Bear this in mind, unless you are
lawyer and get pay for II.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
ibid the doctor diagnose your caser'
EYES,"
"How long did 1t takeP'
"Not long. wore my shabbiest
suit. "-Birmingham Age-Herald.
I'VE look before and after
And pine for what IN not"
The cards we throw away one hand
Would help the next lot
Judge.
"Howf does Mary look in her new
Balkan suit7 asked Marionne.
"If she only had a beard she'd be
the perfect image Of the magazine pic
lures Of 'Tolstoi in peasant garb,'" an
swered Myldredde. Milwaukee seph-
mel.
A oaunibal king thought his Mrs.
Too fond of a guard named Ulrs
SO that horrid old king
%. Fricasseed the poor thing.
And Ulrs mrs hor KRIS.
Life.
Grlggs--My wife feels sure that boy
of ours will be president some day.
Briggs Well, he may go to Mexico
or South America, you know.--Boston