davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Moste iyou see it in The Big
Stick. it ism I necessarily 50.
A Prismatic Retrospect.

1t cannot be successfully denied,
that. between the temperance of
the Cal-Jap troupe, the Mex hodge
podge, the Turk-Balk moss, the Pan
Can-Toll puzzle, the Suh and Anti
Sisters, the Lady Hikers, the Tariff
Mystery, the Non-vinous Dipl. Din
ners, the Ominous Oyster Bay Sill
ence, the High Cost Of Living. the
Modern Dress Evil, the Cubist
Blocks & Squares, the Jolly Ofhs
Seekers. the DARters, Nov. Election
& Aftermath, the Change in the
Weather and Bureau, the Fall Of
Scutari, the Germo- Anglo Franco
Russo Italo-Austro- Entente-AGance,
T. r., the Shad- Bake, Ice-Cream-
Soda, Mint Julep, and other stir
ring features too numerous to eluci-
date, the fecundity and capacity Of
our editofial-staf-brain has not been
taxed beyond human belief. We
must cry halt; once, twice and
thrice. We're going too fast. We
must sand our tracks or else we'll
slip. LIES not to be jammed into
one day. The baseball season Is star
ing us in the face, the swimming
hole is reckoning. Decoration Day is
near by and 50 is a Safe and Sane
Fourth. Our individual and re-
spective families must 60 to the
mountains during the heated spell,
or to the seashore or to the coun-
try and we must figure how that
can be done with shoes s. pair
and no tariff on hides, and the cost
Of high living defying all threats
Of extirpation. Yet we toll on and
complain not, for patience is virtue
and we have duty to perform. We
fear to tell you what would be the
calamitous result IL our galaxy OF
brilliant Big Stick editors and con-
tributors would put down their pens
and cease to furnish the world (oh,
horrors) with that advice it 30 badly
needs every Sat. a. m, and which
no one else seems to be as well
qualified to dispense so lavishly.
disinteTestedly and entertainingly -
THE BIG STICK.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
RIGHT TO SEEK OFFICES.
Voters Entitled to Ask Candidates
for Places They Want.

From the New YORK American.
The surge of the officeseeker against
the new national administration is
neither unusual nor alarming.
1t is no worse, even If 1t is not better,
than il has been when the government
changed hands in other Presidential
years.
Aspiration is the natural impulse of
every wholesome mind. And when to as
piration Is added the consciousness OF
party service, even If founded upon a mis-
conception of public fitness. there is no
cause for impotence nor condemnation
toward the pretender to public state. The
offceseeker has his place-even II he does
not always know Ii.
President Wilson has Jared easily by
comparison. Grover Cleveland had to
flee the capital and seek the duck stands
of the Virginia seacoast to escape the
swarm.
But it is good. healthy political Ameri-
canism behind the application of these
crowding Democrats. They have nothing
TO be ashamed of. 1t is asking no more
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
The Drama.

Shakespere wrote Macbeth"
when he was bloodthirsty. When
he took = more cheerful view OF
life he wrote Hamlet" He also
wrote Much to do for Nothing"
A chorus girl got $m damases
beAuse the manager discharged her
on the ground that she could not
dance or sing. Never knew dancing
and singing Constituted good
form" In the chorus.
STODDARD TAYLOR.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
ALPS Well.

Hereafter, to be real salty. you
mustn't talk Of the starboad OF port
OF a ship. nor even larbosrd. The
admirals decided that they are OBJ
solete terms. Right" and left Is
proper. BY and by our ships will
have a cellar. a roof. and attic. q
chimney and a front yard with a
gate. Won't that be nice?
Commodore Harrington Barker.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
College News.

In view uf the Astounding good
nature, the Yale boys will yet per-
snade Prof. Taft to Join their tug
of-war team.
GARDNER F. WILLIAMS.
1t is stated that Princeton stu
dents are to be fed next year on
food like mother used to make. "
But there were mothers and moth
ers, and there were also fathers who
were not good providers. 1t looks
like q doubtful experiment.
w. d. MCLEAN.
DR.. Eliot says he is fully per-
suaded we have just begun to de-
velop the right kind Of education.
This almost seems pity, too-tst
rs the doctor has quit teaching.
BEEKMAN WINTHROP.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
The Kelly Hat.

One of the blessings Of our Con-
stitution Is that 1t does not require
a man to wear a green hat with a
bow on the rear facade. Anyway.
who dares to stand forth and pro-
claim to me that green hats are
de rigeurl This idea Of aping the
styles Of others is all tommyrot.
GALLAGHER CALv0.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
ALWAYS SOMETHING.

Sometimes we think we're going blind.
Great outcry make.
But In day or two we find
It's a mistake.
Again we think we're getting deaf
And NOPE along
Until week brings US relief
And proves US wrong.
Through endless perils a man fares
While he's alive.
But what lot of awful scares
We do survive.
you can't expect to land an ONCE
simply because you were neutral during
the last campaign.
A Bid for Burglars.
why are all the burglars heading for
! New York;"
Reform wave going on Pickings will
be easy while the police are making
cafes close early and seeing that nobody
places bets on the tenpin games"
why Not.
"The point seems to be to get the hats
as hideous as possible"
WELL said the woman coldly, what
is 1t you want to say?
why don't you put bats on 'em in
stead Of birds?"
Just So.
Pedestrians should know their rights;
That Is my view.
Just bear in mind that. they will find
They have few.
When Women Rule.
Even in abiding to the race they call
IT humanity
"Wen?"
"It shall be huwomanity in few
years"
A Pretty Pass.
mo passes accepted on this railroad
whats the matter with you, young
man? My father left me that pass and
| he inherited IL from his father. Three
generations have travelled on that pass
Real Humiliation.
TT must be rough to lose the roof over
your head"
"Yes: but think of having the mort
gage foreclosed on your automobile"
Optimism In It's Last Stage.
| From Judge.
Sitting in silence. meditating over the
things she must not say to hurt her
lneighbors' feelings.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
The New Art.

There was . post-impressionist
who daubed until he tainted, and
no ono in the whole wide world
could tell what twas he painted.
BE called il Nude Descending
Stain," this piece Of art exotic.
but to Comstock It gave no shock.
the thing WAS 10 chaotic
JAMES HBEBY N08n
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
JAMES BUCHANAN
By GEORGE FITCH,
Author of CAT Coed Old Siwash."

announced that any effort to save the
Union would override the Constitution
and possibly hurt his feelings. He there
fore clasped the precious document TO
his bosom and retired to a safe corner
of the White House, while the South
armed itself with Federal guns and ships
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Basehalls.

Girls may not be much good at
playing baseball, but they are the
candy kids all night at playing the
players. And yet again some women
wear watches On their ankles; some
wear china heels on their shoes,
while others don't have to resort to
these little fads. BILL PEET.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
BeIxium Gives In.

Like the lady in the poem, the Bel
gian prime minister, after declaring
that he never would consent" has con-
sented. 1t was only last week that M.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

On July 1, 1914. aigrettes are to be
barred from Pennsylvania. 1t is now up
to the women of Washington to bar them
without the enactment of any Law.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

He loved the Constitution.
and forts and seeded in a leisurely and
effective manner.
When Buchanan retired he left the
Constitution perfectly intact. but left a
country split so badly that 1t took
million lives to repair it. He died in
1868, amid great respect and general
resignation.
(Copyright, 1913 By George Mathew Adams.)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Gentle Woman.

The invasion Of mans sphere
goes right on. The women Of st.
Louis have adopted boxing - .
DOC rrNDALL.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

Still, If Cobb gets his $4,000 a season,
1t is the patrons of the game who viii
have to pay 1t.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

A real Bryan journey from coast to
coast ought to produce at least 100
speeches.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

1t remained for brand-new Senator
to discover an elevator nonconductor.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Human After All.

Get out the fishing tackle: Sunday
fishing may Be wrong; but in the
creek I saw fab ct least eight
inches long. MILTON ALLIES. !.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Problem.

Say" said the keeper Of the ZOO.
Il wish some Of you chumps would
tell me what q man can do for
monkeys win the mumps?"
ED. SCHMID, alias The Bird
Such Is Reputation.
Columbus. De Soto and Cabot
Gained fame through discovery habit ;
But they lacked the acclaim
tOh, amt 1t = shameD
OF the guy who discovered Welsh
Rabbit.
EDWIN !. sHoPE
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Some Do.

you can't expect to land an ONCE
simply because you were neutral during
the last campaign.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

Optimism I'm It's Last stage.
From Judge.
Sitting in silence, meditating over the
things she must not say to hurt her
neighbors' feelings.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
A Bid for Burglars.

why are all the burglars heading for
New York;"
Reform wave going on. Pickings will
be easy while the police are making
cafes close early and seeing that nobody
places bets on the tenpin games"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Such IA Reuutation.

EDWIN ]. sHoPE
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26

TT must be rough to lose the roof over
your head
Yes: but think of having the mort
gage foreclosed on your automobile"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
Why Nots

Even in abiding to the race they call
IT humanity
''Well?"
years.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-04-26
A Pretty Pass.

mo passes accepted on this railroad -
whats the matter with you, young
man? My father left me that pass and
he inherited 1t from his father. Three
generations have Travelled on that pass
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
ATLANTIC FLEET
IN ANNUAL DRILLS
Mannuvres Witnessed by Secre-
tary Daniels and Distin-
guished Party.

Norfolk. Va, October 1S.-The first
division of the Atlantic fleet. consist
ing of the Dreadnaughts Arkansas,
Delaware. Utah and Wyoming, to-day
participated in the opening battle prac-
tice of the annual drills off the Vir-
sinia capes. The manoeuvres were
witnessed by distinguished party.
headed by Secretary of the Navy
Josephus Daniels.
Early to-day the four battleships,
accompanied by tho Rhode Island, left
hampton Roads for the drill grounds.
me entire day was spent in deep sea
prac'ice' az guns of the Arkansas
Delaware, Utah and Wyoming being
brought into play. Torpedo practices
WAS also INDUCED in by the Wyoming
this afternoon.
ttary Of the Navy Daniels, Secretary f Of
m NEAR G RrGtio1, ana Secretary of Conn
ried a party of Washington Women,
among whom were the wives of several
Cabinet members.
members of the Washington party ex-
peG.ed TO leave for Washington late
aHoMep aboard oar w ths PrssSens yacht
Hampton Roads last night.
The weather, to-day was not alto
being cloudy and hazy ut sea. and tar
gets were difficult to distinguish at
IonE range.
But American gunncrs can overcome
little thing like cloudy weather. and
were able TO see the target sufficiently
TO smash several of them to kindling
wood. The Washington party witnessed
the practice from the deck of the bat
ucshtp Rhode Island. which was not
one of the firing ships On board the
Wyoming and Arkansas were num-
Der OF newspaper correspondents and
photographers.
;, While the Wyoming was lying in
Hampton Roads n few days ago tho
sailors brought on board cat for a
mascot This particular cat had never
been on warShip while big guns We're
IN action, and when the Wyoming bat
terry opened fire on targets to-day, it
actually committed suicide by leaping
into the sea. The cat ran up and down
the deck of the ship trying to seek
some place of safety. Guns were in
action at both ends of the vessel and
hnaily. when il could endure the noise
no longer. the eat leaped into the sea.
Tonight there was torpedo practice
~ several ships. and the searchiight
DISPLAY was both inspiring and won
aerful Secretary Daniels expressed
himself rs being greatly pleased with
NE showing mad0 by the gunners on
the ships of the first division. He said
the shooting was simply wonderful.
The Utah Wyoming, Delaware Ar
kansas, Nebraska and Kansas returned
TO hampton Roads tonight having
concluded target practice
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
Tnmmnny's Reply.

Especial to The Times Dispatch.l
New York. October 1S.-"William
Suffers statement that he turned over
! to agents of Charles f. Murphy or to
tho State Committee all or part of the
money collected for campaign expenses
and originally deposited in his personal
bank account is so absurd that 1t is
laughablc.
IF Sulzer persists In these attacks
and makes himself obnoxious in the
municipal campaign 1T would not be
surprising If the perjury charge estab-
lished at the impeachment trial is
pressed for action in the criminal
courts"
This is Tammanys reply made to-
day by Senator James J. Frawley to
Suffers charge that all money col
lected and not accounted for in his
! sworn list. of contributions was turned
over to Murphy and his lieutenants.
FusiOnists Would Welcome Aid.
Suffers aid in the municipal cam
paign would be gladly accepted by tho
Fusionists, 1t is said. In the Sixth DIS
trict his nomination is being widely
! discussed for the Assembly on the Pro-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
MURPHY liz shndoMcd.

Especial to The Times Dispatch.
:. New York. October Is,nnCharles
Hall is being shadowed by detectives
and every brave in the wigwam" cx-
ccpting the chief is very much excited
because some mysterious person has
put detectives on the boss trail"
Murphy did a little detective work
what he 'dctected."
The chief" discovered that for the
past week he has been followed from
Ing until he returned at night When
tcctives rode in an automobile: when
Murphy entered n bank. the detectives
entered bank: but they did not draw
any money. When Murphy lunched nj
Delmonico's. But the worst offense, in
the eyes of Tammany, is that the de-
tcctives made so bold as to enter the
sacred precincts of Tammany Hall ard
spy upon all who entered the chief
tain's very private tepee.
1t Makes Him Tired.
Il don't care who follows me-" said
Murphy, except it makes me tired
1T is annoying to feel pair of eyes
always glued to the back of my head
tives really wants to know what I do
! Will furnish him Il daily schedule, il
he VIII tell me who he is
Murphy to-day sent a letter to Dis
investigate. the charges made by, John
nurroy Mitchell, Fusion candidate for
Mayor, to the effect that Murphy was
planning TO. import several thousand
repeaters for the coming elections
This is the first time that the Tam
political charge made against him OF
his organization.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
EMPRESS SYMPATHY.
London Papers Admire Courage OF Ger.
many I'm Aerial Efforts.

London. October 1S.--The explosion
OF the great Zeppelin airship near Ber-
I'M has called forth from practically
al the London newspapers sympat hetlc
comment. together with the prediction
mat the disaster may terminate aero
static experiments with craft of this
type.
The Times pays tribute to the
Germans by saying:
Nothing reveals moro admirably tho
s,ufr or which the Germans are made
man the manner in which they have
borne the long series OF accidents
Which have attended their efforts to
conquer the air"
me Daily Chronicle says that evil
oGh'iy the future belongs to the aero
plane. not 10 tho airship, and tho
standard makes similar observation.
me Daily Telegraph thinks. how
''Vcr. that the evolution OF the perfect
nrship may still be pursued not only
~. Germany, but in England also.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
TO BE CORRECT. WEAR
NEW TURKISH VEIL


Especial Cable to The Times Dispatch.l
Paris October H-The kaIeidoscopic
wildcring. The Turkish veil. some time
known az the "yashmak," IL to bc the chic
thing I'm Paris during this fall and Paris
beauties will hide half their pretty
faces behind #.
The new wells are not confined TO the face
IL should he understood. AT Longchnmps
many of the fair attendants looked for all
the world like overgrown lanmpshades cos
tuned in floating drapcries from the waist
while others reseurnbled spiral staircases
rolled round and round I'm dresses expanded
at the hips and falling off like a corkscrcw
at the feet.
Some women attired In a sort OF
revived hobble skirt. others looked as though
their clothes had been pinned them in
the dark. while the chiffon SERIES seemed
10 belong TO no particular system II an
autumn belle desires to be thoroughly in
the mode she should look as much like a
package as possible.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
KING GEORGES ENERGY
ANNOYS HIS GUESTS

Especial Gable to The Times Dispatchl
London, October ls-Even those who are
never likely to stand before Kings" In any
intimate sense are Interested I'm the ruinor
which Just now Is heard from court because
OF the physical energy of His Majesty.
The King delights 10 talk TO each OF his
guests after dinner and az while he il
standing none can sit. and he loves to stand
rs he talks. every man in the company must
remain his feet.
KING Edward had no such love for stand =
Ing. TO the great comfort OF his guests: but
theFe was one occasion when these had to
oe on their feet for AN unconscionabe period
~ was when the German Emperor visit ed
London in 1907. The loading statesmen we're
hidden by King Edward TO meet his inn
peral nephew at dinner. After the function
the Emperor engaged himself in talking to
statesman after statesman keeping stand
lnH the whole time to his own delight but
TO the intense discontinue OF some OF the
elder among the others. Sir Henry Camp
bell Zimmerman. who was then Prime Min
lister. and rapidly approaching his fatal
Illness almost tainted from exhaustion
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
HIGH DECORATION FOR
QUEEN OF ROUMANIt

Vienna. October 1s.--Ksiscr Franz Jose.
mas presented the Great Gross OF the Eliaa-
DeNl order TO the Crown Princess Marie Of
foumania. wife of Ferdinand, for her sacrin-
ella! services In the hospitals during tho re-
turn OF tho armies from the Balkan conflict
Sho IL said TO have gone Into the cholera
"hrds served as n regular nurse and shown
such devotion and Intelligent cooperation
that tho OLD Kaiser was moved to tho spon-
taneous act. and her decoration at nj, hand
has aroused tho entire RoumRnian nation
to an enthusiasm for Austria never felt be
fore.
The Elizabeth Order Is considered tn,
highest recognition that be given for
humanitarian and sacrifcial work in ths
outliving OF the Golden Rule" II ie sell
dom given and only on the highest merit
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
YOUNG BRAVE STARTS OUT
Thirtccn-Icnr-Ol Indian Wants TO
See White Mans World.

See White Mans World.
Washington, October 1S--Just as
thousands of adventurous white youths
have run away from home to fight
Indians" so did Stancel Jumper, full
blooded member OF the Qualla Indian
tribe in North Carolina, run away from
tho reservation TO see the wonders Of
the white mans world He will be
shipped back to his reservation in
charge of an Indian office custodian
Having attained the ripe age of 10
years. the young brave. together with
another lad of the same ripe years,
crept from the ancestral tepee and
started north. In Baltimore they he
came separated and Jumper decided
to come TO Washington to view the
wiSwaIn of the Great White Father
his native sagacity apparently failed
him. for he was viewing the exterior
Of the Police Court when Deputy Mar
shall Reade came down the steps.
Ugh" said the copper colored youth
warrior admiringly.
Heap big Chicf!'
The official promptly rounded up the
young Aborigine who WAS almost fam
ished. Back to the reservation he
goes at the white mans expense.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
MRS. McCoR MICK is
INTERESTED IN FLIGHT

Especial Cable to The Times Dispatch. ]
Como. October lS.-Thc lake season
closed last sunday with aviation week.
All the best known French and Ital-
ian aviators participated in the events.
Garros once more broke tho height
record. Among those witnessing the
flights was Mrs Harold f. Mccormick,
who was Miss Edith Rockefeller. After
spending ten days in Parma, where she
received the freedom of the city in rec
IGNITION of a gift of $4,000 francs to-
ward the erection of Il monument to
Verdi. Mrs. Mccormick took an auto
mobile trip through the lake district
IN company of her young daughter
other Americans present at the avi-
alton meet were Mr.. and Mrs. Grlffiths
and Mrs. Ira Nelson Morris, who has
left Villa Scotia for Paris.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
DISCARDER SUITOR
HAS UNIQUE REVENGE

Especial Cable to The Times Dispatch
Geneva. October H-Mlle. X little knew
when she Tilted NJ. Musy week before their
wedding what storm she raising
around her pretty head. When the news
came TO him that he was thrown an
original Idea occurred to Musy
lie decided to paste the walls OF his
faithlcss tnamori;a all tho love letters she
had written to him. He called In IL few
friends and they selected tho warinest let
tcrs. Armed with pastepot and brush, the
young men sailed forth under the shadow
of night. Soon the walls pasted from
roof to floor with the love cooings of the
maiden.
crowd collected round the maIsonette
and loud was the laughter and hugs the
jokes-not always very delicate. Tho police
had to be Summoned 10 keep tho crowd In
order. Aimee was bathcd in tears inside.
aud the big brother" armed with whip
started round town in search of the humor-
Gus Musy.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-10-19
BRITISH ARTIST WILL
DO EXPOSITION WORK


Especial Cable to The Times Dispatch.1
LONDON October lS-AlthouEh Great
Britain Will have 10 official representation
at Panama Pacific exhibition in 1915 She viii
he brought into unofficial prominence by
the decorative work OF the famous English
artist. Frank BrnnEwyn, who has been
commissioned To execute tho mural decora-
lions Tor several courts in the proposed nne
arts section.
Englishmcn are much delighted at the
prospect OF having ono of their countrymeu
thus brought into prominence through this
signal tribute To his ability. So far Mr.
BranGwyu il the only European TO he re-
tanned for tho carrying ont Of any important
Work for san Francisco fair. /; being the
desire Of the executive. committee to employ
american TALENT a. .faE. as rNsshle.