The Topeka state journal., 1913-08-16

The funny men OF cartoon ana para
graph fame love TO tell and depict
tales of defenseless land lubbers lean
ing far out over the railing of sea-
going steamer feeding the fish and
fooIing the scornful gulls. Sea sick
ness is one of the foremost jokes of
the English language-in fact per-
factIv respectable physicians nave
been quoted to the effect that gooo
slaro-bang case of sea sickness Is
tonic. Far be it from anyone to m
rerfere with the fun producers IN the
newspaper columns-or deny the
theories of publicity doctors but one
erIaring fact remains-sea sickness -
not funny. it is not a tonic II u ho1
a temporary affliction TO De lauslieu
at bv persons who never nave CeeH
IN anvthfne but a railroad bridge
NJ sir. sea sickness is not funny
= ;S one of the most serious calarnl-
ties of the modern age-as long as II
lasts -. xr,,, 70
cent sxperience-eXperi OF such
current value that a bouncing street
car causes him to creep down the
aisle slip out on the back platform
and prepare to perform lf'peAe
stunt over the rear Vestibule
He furthermore substantiates his
claims on the right to write on TINS
subject by the fact that ne became
sea sick on a steamer traversing the
great lakes and not pIoughlng
through the mountain waves OF the
Atlantic or Pacific. Not once did
whale spout his park-fountain stream
in the vicinity of the writer's event
full trip through Lake Michigan, Su-
perior. Huron and Georgian ~
nor did the writer's suit case bear
witness to transatlantic tours to for
eizn hotels and reSorts-but he was
sea sick just the same-and the cola
sprays that sprinkled his head as 1t
hung out of the stateroom window
might just as we'll have been from
the big pond" as far as the accom-
panying feeling is concerned
1t all happened-not occurred
but happened" the steamer
North American" out of Chicago on
a weeks cruise to points on three OF
the great lakes and Georgian bay
Now this trip is advertised as a
quiet restful. enjoyable. and scenic
7-day sail in cool climate and on
the water. The trip is quiet, 10 be
sure-uO street car gOngS, elevated
roars. rattIing pavements or whistling
cops. But there are other things to
be considered in this zone of quiet
ness and rest Take the stomach, for
And then there is plenty of seem
ery-by the way. have you ever
gazed into the azure blue and alter
nate green of Lake Superior or Michi-
gan and wondered at the depths, at
the mysterious confines at the rest
less home of the white caps-and
then feel the boat sink from under
YOU. take a long heaving signing
lurch against your belt. and then,
en-then-THEN-o well. what's
the use of explaining all the details
of scenery, anyway
But honestly, We land lubbers who
sometimes take a motor boat ride in
Garfield park it doesn't pay to in
clude in life's itinerary that comic
ridden experience of sea sickness
You will live just as long-maybe
longer-and you will be able to en-
tertain yoGr grandchildren just as eN-
citediy without digging into your
memory shelves and dragging out a
story about seasickness. a little old
tale about being kicked in the head
by a mule will serve just as we'll
and a mule never was known to kick
as hard as a boat rocks when a per-
son is hanging on the rail.
The queereSt-not funnieSt-thing
about s 5. Gin marine terms S. s.
means steam ship. but steam ship and
sea sickness are synonymous. so We'll
do little abbreviating) is that the
victim always hlames the food that is
served on the boat.
When the writer was slowly feeling
his way about the steamer after his
major attack he overheard two young
1@dies who were reclining under
aheckered rugs. Here is what they
ERid
"You know there is something the
matter with the food-honestIy. l be-
Heve there is ptomaine poison in what
was served US"
Then came the answer:
7 believe it IS that horrid green
cheese-ugh. Did you taste it? III
never touch cheese again.
This conversation sounds innocent
enough. doesn't il
But in every case of sea sickness