davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
Railroad Travel safe.

Interesting illustrations of the great
degree Of safety attending travel on
American railways are given by a prom
fnent newspaper in an article based on
Interstate Commerce Commission figures
which show that during the six years
period, IsO5-l1, only one passenger out Of
every 74,TS6 received injury Of any kind,
and only one out OF every 2275,l3 was
killed Commenting upon these figures
this paper says:
"A typical Journey for all roads in the
country is now thirty-four miles, and
there are taken on the average 2275. .l2s
such journeys in safety to each journey
which results fatally. IL a man were
10 ride out these 2,275,123 safe journeys
at two per day for each business day In
the year, IL would take him 3,Is2 years.
To have begun in time to meet his death
In 1914, he would have had to start In
the year LIS B. c., As years before
Moses led the children Of Israel through
the Red Sea. BY $50 B. C., when ROM
uius was regulating Remus by modern
methods, the commuter would have rid
den y, 600 900 miles, and have had $500, N
vet to go. When Phidias, in 80 B. C.,
was carving the Olympian Zeus, our
wayfarer would have been but one-third
of the way toward his death; and even
in the year so A. D.. when Alfred the
Great was letting the griddle cakes burn,
this traveller would have spent the equiv
alent of 2g7 years on the trains rum
nIug at thirty miles an hour, and would
have had eighty-seven years more OF
actual travel to spend before meeting
his fatal accident"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
RetractiOn.

The policy of The Kicker since the first
issue has been to state things fairly and
truthfully. and whenever We have dis
covered later that a published item has
done any one injustice We have not been
slow to follow il with an explanation
perfectly satisfactory to the party ag-
grieved. Last week We had a local item
to the effect that some miserable wretch
had robbed Maj. Smiths clothesline OF
four shirts, and We indulged in the hope
that he would speedily be caught and
given a dance on the head of barrel.
II seems that We were mistaken. and
the major feels that he has been placed
in a false position 10 the public. The
fact is, as he wishes US to state, he docs
not own four shirts, but only two, and
neither of these is a white one. They
were old blue flannel shirts. much the
worse for wear. What was really stolen
was a Navajo blanket, and We are glad
to make this retraction and set the
major right before this community.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
llliteraey and immigration.

The dispute as to the desirabiIity of
immigrants from Southeastern Europe
Is likely to be taken up by Congress
again in the near future. The advisa-
bility of barring illiterate foreigners
has been questioned. In the Senate
last year the opinion seemed to prevail
that illiteracy, if required at the expense
Of morality or industry, was to be re-
jected in favor of ignorance. The in
flow of humanity through Ellis Island
makes this pertinent question.
Mr.. c. L. Sultzberger, OF New York,
in his report to the National Confer
ence of Charities and Correction at
Cleveland, offered some figures in de-
fense of the unwelcome Southeastern
European. Aside from the charge of
illiteracy, the balance is in favor of
these so-called "undesirables." The
records, according to Mr.. Sultzberger,,
show that persons from Northern and
Western Europe lead the list in alco-
holism. But comparatively commend
able showing is made by the Southeast
ern European. Says Mr.. Sultzberger:
The lack of cash they (the South
eastern Europeans) remedy themselves,
and the lack of literacy in their chill
dren. The children of foreign-born
parents (white) are in every section
of the country illiterate in less degree
than the children of native-born white
parents. The average illiteracy of ma
tive whites of native parents through
out the country is 81 per cent, and of
native whites of foreign-born parents
the country is but 10 per
cent
1t would seem that there are many
.hings to be said in defense of these
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
HAS 5000 UNIFORMS.
From London Ta.BitA

From London Tft-BitS
The Germah Emperor has more uni
forms than any other sovereign, so great
are the number of military, naval, and
other titles he owns in his own and
other countries. His uniforms. which have
been computed at nearly 5000 in all, are
In charge of his head valet, who has
twelve other Wallets working under him.
The valet requires to be an expert on
military uniform. for u Is no light task
to remember the accessories In the way
Of swords. epaulets, helmets. &C., to go
with nearly 1900 uniforms, for each de-
tall must be exact, and mistake in re-
gard to this would cost him his place.
1t is perhaps on the occasion of his
royal masters visits TO foreign countries
that the resources Of the head valet are
taxed to their utmost The Kaiser in
sists on always dressing the part COR
rectly. On his visits to this country
much astonishment has been expressed
at his skill as qnick-change artist.
On one occasion when his yacht. the
Hohenzollern. was OF the British coast
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

the officials stationed at Port Victoria
to receive him sighted him through
marine glasses standing on the bridge
In the uniform Of a German general
Great was their astonishment when ON
landing, barely ten minutes later, he
greeted them dressed as an English ad-
m.ral He was escorted to the special
train. wherein he disappeared for a few
moments, walking into the saloon in the
uniform Of the First Royal Dragoons.
Finally, upon arriving in London. he
stepped ON the train IN the conventional
frock coat and top hat OF an English
gentleman. =
The keeping of such an extensive ward
robe Is somewhat Of a task. II Is said
that for the four palaces in and around
Berlin eighty boxes OF naphthaline moth
balls and thirty Of camphor and cedar
snaYings are required TO resist the dep
relation Of the moth. When it Is re-
membered that the Kaiser has nearly
hfty other palaces besides in various parts
of his Kingdom. In all OF which fuli SETS
Of uniforms are kept IL can be Imagined
that the money spent on moth destroyers
must run into tidy little sum every
year.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
ReformInE a Road Agent.

In returning from Red Valley the otheI
afternoon We were stopped at Buckshot
Creek by an ugly-faced critter. who com
manded us to shell out. As he had the
drop on US, We handed over our personal
effects with promptness and dispatch.
He was about to ride away when We
proposed a game OF poker. and the idea
struck him favorably. The. two OF us
sat down on the grass and started in,
and 1T the end of forty minutes We had
won back our valuables and had him
dead broke. On the last hand out we
held only a pair of kings, and We knew
from the run OF the cards that he had a
full house with ace high, and yet We
bluffed him out Of his horse and guns
He was a pean-Iooking euss, and he had
no scruples about robbing US, but he was
man of his word. He made no kick
about being cleaned out, and there was
something like a tear in his eyes as he
asked US II We knew where he could
strike job at 81 day. We don't see
how he can get another start in the
highway robbery business this fall. and
We have considerable hopes that being
cleaned out will lead to his reformation
and salvation
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
Monroe Doctrine Not Dead.

To the Editor: When Diaz and Taft
embraced on the banks OF the Rio
Grande, II was a saying: After Diaz,
the deluge." Ev IIs have shown the
truth of the saying.
1t Is now asked: after Huerta. what?"
The answer is simple. 1t Is: He'll II
exists now in Mexico, and Will exist any,
where wherever clericalism usurps polit-
icalism, and intrigues for sway. And it
will continue in that unhappy land unless
unless what? The United States throws
down its bars and gives commercial free
dom in arms and munitions OF war to
all Mexico; alike to every faction-Cler-
icals, Constitutionalists, Cientihees, and
Caleristas, in survival of the fittest.
Brutal? Well, war is helP'-always was
and always IL be. And while 1t goes
OF in Mexico, the rest of the world must
keep hands of and only in the event OF
any nation, other than American, mixing
in. shall the United States step In, and
say: Stop; the Monroe doctrine is not
dead: no, not even consigned to the
dark closet of things no longer useful
Henry Watterson TO the contrary, not
withstanding. ..
And This thought: The Monroe doctrine
Is alive today and of political necessity
as necessary az when promulgated, and
never in the history Of the nation has a
navy-a great navy-been needed as now.
and craftsmanship to see 1t and states
men to supply It
ANDREW JORDAN GREEN.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

master. but as q private citizen. As
editor and proprietor Of newspaper, We
are expected to take a drink with the
boys and sit down to a game of poker
now and then, but as Mayor and post
master we are obliged to assume and
preserve a certain dignity. This the
boys perfectly understand, and take in a
good-natured way. Those who saw US
at the dog fight understood that we had
left our dignity of position behind us for
an hour and had come to see the fracas
the same as any other individual in the
audience.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

in vacant chair next the one in which ]
was seated.
He threw or his cloak, but did not
remove the clumsy overshoes which he
wore. Little streams OF melted .snon,
trickled from them along the lobby pave.
ment
After a moment or two the Senator
took from his pocket a little paper-bound
volume and began to read 1t. He turned
the pages rapidly and perceived that
he had the gift OF quickly absorbing a
page at a single glance I was curious
10 learn what book II was with which
he was thus employed. and later 1 had
a chance to read the title on the cover.
1t was one of the paper-covered novels,
harmlessly sensational and stupidity fun
ny, which were in great vogue at that
time.
1 was amazed that this Senator, who
ranked with the intellectual giants of
the Senate, should be willing to spend
even few moments upon a trashy novel
AT last his friend came and TrumbulI
put his book in his pocket, gathered up
ms cloak, and went away with him.
Twelve years later 1t was my good
fortune to spend a day upon the cars
viii, Judge David Davis, who, two days
earlier. had finished his term as Senator
from Illinois and was going to North
Carolina.
told Judge Davis of my experience
with Senator TrumbuIl. for 1 knew that
he and Lyman Trumbun were friends of
many years standing.
"oh, that was nothing" said judge
Davis. rrumbull used to read trashy
novels simply for mental recreation. With
him a funny story serves as good a pur-
pose for mental rest as a nap does for
some men or a fishing excursion does for
others. But you would never know that
he ever read novel from anything that
he says"
! asked Judge Davis for his estimate
OF Senator Trumbulrs intellectual ability
In intellect TrumbuIl was surpassed
by only one man in Illinois. Lincoln WITH
greater Intellectually, and Trumbuil knew
1t and acknowledged IT." Judge Davis
replied.
tCopgrisht. lslJ)
Tomorrow The Herald will tell of
An Old Surveyors Panama Canal Pro-
diction.'O
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

o clock. Mr.. Wise hadn't allowed for any
change in Giveadem GuIch in the last
1ve years. He figured that things were
just as they used to be, when a lone
duner could ride into town with a hoot
shoot right and left with a yell, and in
the course of five minutes have the
streets to himself and something to
brag about for the rest Of his life. We
were ready, in company with the city
marshal, at 5;55. At exactly O'Clock
William Wise came down the river road
like cyclone, hair flying, a gun in
either hand and a warwhoop on the end
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A TUNEFuL 1INkLE.

g TuNEfUL 1INkLE.
The latest thing for ladies is semi
swallowtail-Fashion Item.
Now that does sound like real biz,
For that We win go bail.
The latest thing for ladies Is
A semi-swaIlowtaiL
When Gladys starts a shopping tour
Or Mabel has some kale,
Shell go and spend her money for
A semi-swaIlowtail.
!. has a tuneful sound. Gee whiz!
II tinkles like a scale.
The latest thing for ladies Is
A semi-swailowtail
Sure Thiag.
81 sec the English suffragettes have
blocked another horse race"
wonder If they'll ever try those tao
tics In this country"
Hope not. They'll get in bad IL they
interfere with baseball"
There You Are.
ITS hard to hire help in my business.
I manufacture dynamite and we need
cautious men,"
"well. why don't you look for cautious
men?'
"a really cautious man won't take such
a job"
Literature I'm the Country.
Extract from the Plunkville Palladium:
I'VE have to thank Miss Lucille won-
bat for an Ode to Apollo and a pumpkin
pie"
New York Drama.
Those shows along the great white way
/ never could abide.
do not care to see a play
That needs formaldehyde.
Danger Not Imminent.
Better go home, Jimmy. Your mother
d looking for you"
Has she got the hair brush with her?"
mo"
Then I guess I'll play awhile longer"
A Mean Trick.
what are you punching your brother
,or?"
He went and used the clean place / |
had picked out on the roller towel 1t |
was the only one left, too"
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

There came into the lobby of the hotel
man upon whom my attention was
Immediately fixed. He was tall. slender,
of somewhat ungainly ngure, and he
walked with a sort of shufiIng gait,
although that may have been due to the
accumulation OF slush which was upon
the oId-fashioned arctics with which he
protected his feet. over his shoulders
was a queer garment. 1t seemed to be
half shawl, half cloak, but 1t must have
been very comfortable and abundantly
protected the wearer from the weather.
This mans face was study. He had
small mouth, thin lips. rather large
nose, and high cheek bones, and from
his eyes down suggested the true ascetic.
But I observed that through his spec
tacles he flashed glances from very
bright and highly intelligent eyes and
that his forehead was broad and his head
nobly proportioned above his eyes. Any
one not knowing him would have said
that he was all intellect and that he
had no passions, good or bad, excepting
the one which was created by intellectual
power-passion for knowledge and for the
authority which knowledge gives.
! knew the man and / recognized i'm
mediately his facial and personal resem-
blance TO a distinguished family of Revo-
lutionary days, whose name he bore and
with whom he was of kin. i had seen
old portraits of members OF this family,
three OF whom had been governors OF
Connecticut, father, son, and grandson,
and one a distinguished portrait painter
of Revolutionary times.
He was Lyman Trumbull, United States
Senator from Illinois, the very man to
whom Abraham Lincoln yielded the SEN
In the memorable struggle in
Illinois in the mid-fifties. He was of the
Trumbull family OF Connecticut. and his
native town, Colchester, adjoined the
town which was the home of Jonathan
Trumbull. colonial Governor Of Connec-
ticut, whom Washington called Brother
Jonathan"
Senator Trumbuh stood in the middle
Of the lobby for u moment or two. hesi-
tating. peering about as though he were
looking for some one. Not finding the
person for whom he looked. and appaf-
entity having decided to wait until that
person should come, Senator Trumbull
looked around for seat, and took one
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
Entering Wedge?

President Wilson's assurance tha
though civil service protection is re,
moved by the urgent deficiency bill
which he signed yesterday, from dep
uty collectors of internal revenue and
from deputy marshals, the spoils
principle will not creep in with my
approval or connivance," will cheer
many thousands OF government en-
ployes not only throughout the coun-
try, but in the District. That it will
give them 4 feeling of complete Sc
curly is hardly possible, but it will be
4 solace.
Most of the government employees
directly affected by this clause in the
urgent deficiency bill, which provides
that deputy collectors and deputy mar
sials may be removed from Office with
out regard to The civil service rule,
are outside the District. But with the
government employees of Washington,
forming considerable proportion of
the Districts population, not yet re-
covered from the unrest and fear
which a change of political admins
tration occasioned despite the civil
service protectorate, the provision ap-
pended to the urgent deficiency bill in
evitably alarms.
That the higher officers of the gov
srnment should leave the service of
che government last March 4 was taken
lor granted. But after the first food
Of designations and transfers and shifts
and denotions the general public for
got the anxiety of what might be
sailed the rank and file of government
workers here. Now and again one or
two or half dozen men and women
are separated from the Federal serv-
ice, and the public doesn't notice it.
Perhaps even the persons so separated
from government work desire it. But
the Solicitude which followed the first
panic that resulted from the Demo
cratic victory OF last November has
never been asSuaged in the hearts of
government clerks. 1t is no exaggera-
ton to say that every change in per-
sonnel in the government service,
however minor" has bred fresh fright. |
1t is but natural then that while they
suffer such grave inquietude, even the |
appearance of an assault upon civil !
service rules under which thousands |
of government employees here endeavor
10 follow the even tenor of their way
should renew their alarms. President
Wilson's words are none too strong to
restore their equanimity; but with his
record for merit-appointment to cor
roborate his words, government work
RS here should take comfort.
The President takes the position
hat the offices of deputy collector of
internal revenue never were intended
o be included under the ordinary pro-
visions of the civil service law.
With President Wilson's success in
having his own right way so far held
IN remembrance, there seems every
reason for the actual civil service
workers in the District to work on in
1eace
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
THE OPEN FORUM
Our Export Parcel Post.

To the Editor: Postmaster Genera
Burleson taxes our export postal parcels
IL cents a pound. eleven pounds, to Great
Britain, and the rest of the world sI.s2
The British Postmaster General, Hon.
Herbert Samuel, taxes the export busi-
ness OF his subjects less than cents a
pound, eleven pounds, to the United
States, - cents.
Mr.. Samuel was here on a visit to Mr.
Burleson the other day. We hope this
meeting was used to so modify our par.
eel post convention with Great Britain as
to place the parcel post exchanges of the
two countries on a common low rate
basis.
Mr. Hitchcock's old excuse that the
poverty-stricken condition of our rev.
enues would not allow him TO reduce his
export taxation OF our people will not
hold good now when We have q large
postal surplus.
Mr.. Burieson is today practically die
tator of both our foreign and our do
mestic parcel post services. He may
abolish the murderous discrimination OF
our domestic zone parcel post against
the business OF our coast districts with
customers a few hundred miles away,
and he may also, at his will, SO reduce
his enormous taxation OF our exports as
to greatly increase our business with the
outside world. Existing conditions make
it almost imperative for manufacturers
on our Atlantic seaboard, whose goods
are distributed in small parcels. to move
their plants to Europe, because from
Europe their goods can be posted at once
to the outside world and to the majority
of their old home customers at lower
rates than from their present locations. |
We respectfully pray for relief from
both of these evils.
JAMES L. COwLES,
For the Postal Progress League.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
Thc 1yorld... TuranoI.e.
um the Indianapolis Ners.

From the Indianapohs News
tsinety-nine per cent OF the worlds
turquoise comes from the mines of Nisha-
pur, in Khorassan. the Persian city, by
the way, in which Omar Khayyam was
born and is buried.
The mines are situated In a range of
hills consisting entirely of porphyries,
greensboro, limestone, and sandstone
The turquoise Is found in veins in the
rocks. This ridge OF hills runs to
height Of s,e55 feet; the highest point at
which turquoise has been found is $500
feet above sea level; the lowest point.
4,s0o feet.
One mine is entered through a natural
cave running out on to the side OF the
mountain. and is worked by means of
rough shafts and levels.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
A weighty Reason.
ON the New York Globe.

From the New York Globe.
There never WAS such a baby; there
never was, never had been, and never
could be under any conceivable circum-
stances on earth.
y molly. my love-" cried daddy, bounc-
ing In upon his seven-year-old, 'Uncle
George has just arrived. and he's en-
raptured. He said: There never was
such baby and he offered to buy her
for sovereign an ounce"
You're not going to sell her, are
your asked Molly. with wide-open eyes.
''No, my precious" cried the delighted
father, embracing her affectionately over
this show Of proper sentiment
Because" resumed Molly. She'll be
heavier when she's older, andn fetch
morer
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
ARIZONA KICKLETS.
Giyedem Gulch Is Holding It's Own.
As Private Citizen.
BY N. QUAD,

Our esteemed con-
temporary has a
column article this
week pitching into
us because We at
( e n d e d the dog
fight at the rink
last Saturday even
ing. Yes, We were
there, and We are
happy to say that
We had so on the
winning dog. We
did not attend the
soiree as the editor
of the Kicker. as
Mayor, or as post
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

people who are SO unwelcome in this
country. AS was pointed. out in the
debates on the Literary test" in the
Senate, it must not be forgotten that
many native-born Americans today who
are perhaps objecting to the new ar
rivals are themselves the children of
immigrants, some of whom came to
this country poor and ignorant.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

of his tongue. At sos his cayuse was
dead in the road and William was in the
town lookup and wondering where he
was at Next morning he was fined SIS
and his guns were confiscated, and when
he walked OF he kept looking behind
him and trying to make out how things
had happened that way. Any other duff
fer who feels like capturing the town is
invited to communicate with Us by mail
or personal interview.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23
Making n Hit.

The manager Of a theatrical company
In Chicago. who had evidently heard of
this town and read of the adventures of
various combinations visiting US, writes
to inquire just what sort Of play will
take best with our people. We take
pleasure in answering him that he will
be sure to make a hit and a barrel Of
money with THE Merchant of Venice" I"
1t must not be put on as in the East.
however. Venice and the merchant will
be all o. K. for about ten minutes. Then
there should be fve-minute clog dancing
and singing. After that. more Venice:
then fight with Indians or the rescue of
a beautiful maiden from a bloody
pirate. Don't stick too close to Venice.
Our people want mixture. There will
be no objection to ringing in a scene
from ''Uncle Toms Cabin in one OF the
acts, nor the grave-digging scene in
Hamlet" in another, but there must be
a dance or an abduction between them.
Such managers as have taken our father
ly advice regarding this matter have
pleased our people and gone away with
A hat full Of money, while thoEe who
have been stiff-necked have left town on
foot or died of starvation in the woods.
The Washington herald., 1913-10-23

The Department of Agriculture's state
ment that the crow is the farmers friend
is not calculated to make the farmers
have any increased respect for the ex-
perts in that department.