Bridgeton pioneer., 1913-12-25

ears displayed liberal records of old
dog bites. There was a film over one
eye, and his chin was thrust out as II
he were calling some one a liar. He
had once had a tail to wave on the
glorious Fourth, but some cannon fire.
cracker thrown by boy had battered
and abridged it.
"Well. isn't he a Iulu?" asked Mr.
Bowser after long minute.
'He would be-for dime museum!'
replied Mrs. Bowser.
"You don't fancy him?"
Hes homelier than the hog, Mr..
Bowser. If you had hunted the whole
of North America"-
Mrs. 5.'s Innate Meanness.
That's you-that's your wayw he
interrupted as he danced around. 81
go and rent a goat to make things
cheerful and homelike and to prolong
my life, and you lie awake all night to
think of something mean to say.
G'way from here!'
"But can't give you my opinion Of
a goat?' she protested.
mo. ma'am. Keep away from this
pen. Don't come within ten rods of it!
You abused that hog in the most
shameful manner, and that's why he
acted in the way he did, but I'll pro-
tect this goat from your malignancy"
Mrs. Bowser entered the house, and
Mr.. Bowser leaned lovingly over the
pen and gazed down at his new ac
quaintance. The goat squinted mp at
him with his one good eye and seemed
to feel at home. By and by, as he
laid down with a grunt and sigh,
Mr.. Bowser tiptoed softly away and
whispered:
"a goat can read the human heart
and this one knows that l am his
best friendr'
He had just reached the house to
tell Mrs. Bowser that all Prince Albert
goats were thorough gentlemen and
ladies, when he heard a stifled shrek
at the pen, and ran back to find the
goat lying ON his back with his four
legs paving the air.
"What's the matter-what's wrong?"
called Mrs. BOWSer.
'The blamed critter seems to have a
fit!"
His Goatship's Feelings.
Mrs. Bowser came ont and looked his
goatship over and said: Perhaps you
made some observation that hurt his
gentle feelings"
Perhaps l didn't, but l will. though.
If he tries to play any of his tricks on
me! See-he's getting over it. Maybe
he thought l was going to leave him
alone"
shouldn't wonder. | have heard that
Prince Albert goats love human So
ciety."
She motioned for him to step back
with her. and they We're not ten feet
away when the P A. uttered "bahv'
and a "woofr' and came near leaping
out of the pen.
"Durn his eyes. he must stop that"
exclaimed Mr.. Bowser as he rushed
forward.
'Its just as 1 told you. That goat
wants human society. and you'll have
to hang around the pen for two or
three days and nights
'T'll see him in Halifax first, The
doesn't stop it I'll brain him with the
axw
They backed off again, and again the
goat made tremendous effort to get
out. Mrs. Bowser ran for the house
and Mr.. Bowser looked around for
club. His back was turned toward
the pen, and then the conclusion took
place. He was lifted and precipitated
eleven feet four inches. and Mrs. Bow
ser turned just in time to see the goat
walk around ON the PROSTATE body and
then take leap over the alley fence
She went down to Mr.. Bowser. and as
soon as he had regained consciousness
she said:
"What you ought to have done was
to hire some one at S3 per day to give
that goat his society"
"Has he gomez" was family asked.
"Where the woodbine twineth."
All Mrs. BIS Fault.
"And it's all your fault. and I'll nev,
er forgive you"
"Why, what did I do"
made faces at him or something"
"But he didn't love you or he
wouldn't have butted you"
"Woman. don't you think to deceive
me" shouted Mr.. Bowser as he sat up.
Unto the house with you and commu-
nicate with your lawyerv'
81 will in minute Did you see the
man you rented the goat from looking
over the alley fence?
"No. didn'tp'
Didn't hear him chuckling?"
mo, sirr'
when you rented that goat. Mr.
Bowser, didn't it occur to you that
there were two kinds of goat-a billy
and nanny"
Mr.. Bowser turned pale.
''This was billyv'
Mr.. Bowser groaned.
"And the milk to cure your tubercu.
losis"-