New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-08
AS | WAS SAYING

IF an honest man is the noblest work OF God,
quoth Aunt Sabrina what is An honest woman"
His rarest." said Uncle Josh.
But times have changed Fifty thousand employ
crs alleged exist by the alleged reporters alleged
to have interviewed them, allege that woman is
honester than man Indeed, the banks are no"
planning to employ women and keep them in the
usual cages. with their names tackled on-"kt'ie
Nellie" "Jennie'-like the Dog Show
This seems 10 us very sensible In the nature Of
things is unified for a career OF wholesale
robbery whereas man-but let rs put 1t succinctly
Man. Twenty-Five pockets
Woman None.
Deep question this to whether Columbus was
a Jew though it is recorded that the discoverer OF
the world
why do they keep nventing new cures for the
tobacco habit when the really enectual cure is az
old as the spherical balloon? Take to the clouds
and light mp.
The thanks 81 grateful nation to Nj. : f. ellis
for his letter on Mark Twains hoodoo pistol Seems
that after many attempts lose that pistol
bright idea struck Mark, who shipped II 10 an Ola
enemy in Missouri hypocrtically as peace offer
ing In the fulness 81 time back II came, G. %. D.
FL a box containing 100 pounds Of horseshoes This
sheds further glory Simple Septimus' who oois-
ingly permitted himself 10 purchase secondhand
dentists chair and then. seeing no particular use
for IT, shipped the horrible thing 10 fictitious I'D
dress in India
Now that the worlds oldest coed mas celebrated
her eighty second birthday. We may reasonably
hone To- hear from the Youngest college widow
MIR Frederick W schultz thinks our June Bug
poem was "punk." and 50 do but what are two
against So many
We have two counts against Mrs. A J. George
How she raves against the Suffrage paraders for
their sheath gowns their split skirts and their low
necked dresses in the broad light Of day. Yet
III The movement is still new. Watt oh, wait!
And again Oh OH
., We learn that at least four-hfths Of The
paraders were Ants
All here comes dear, good. kind Geneva Lane 10
give MS a Hft by YOUR June Bug lay. am re-
minded Of the June bug that sailed into church on
SUNDAY. and. lighting on the broad white collar OF
small boy folded II wings neatly into the suitcase
ON it's back and began To enjoy the sermon.
THE BOYS mother quietly covered the devout
beetle with her hand and passed 1t on 10 her drows-
ing husband 10 throw out of the window beside him.
He thinking It the usual peppermint lozehee
she always handed him when he dozed of in
church. unsuspecnhSN p"Pptu IL i"'o "'' "''"''''
He said it was the most enectusl eye-opener he
had ever taken
Our Paris correspondent has noticed the butch
cry Of horse" with the gilt horse-head sign. ana II
much worked up about it. Ne wonder the Paris
roor dine SO exclusively hose that they are ali
Juggling carts around the streets.
our heart goes out to the clergyman VINO was
holding forth in a West orange schoo'house sSa"s'
trots tangos bunny hugs etc. whiIe those very
dances were in progress right over his mead But!
Hoe he hoard Of the minister who let a news
raoer have the manuscript Of his sermon on the
wicked wicked theatre, little dreaming that IL
would he published with illustrations? X !" H.
1911. ~ rcAu ALL LON HERNERS.