The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1913-03-11
The
Ad. Writer
BY OSCAR cox

, fishers. and asked for the member oil
the firm who attended to the adyertis
Ing.
There isn't any such man." was the
reply. I'VE don't advertise. I'm the
head OF the firm"
caller, with real or felgned astonish'
ment How do you get business
without advertislngT
1--WE use solicitors"
"And find them valuable?"
"Yes. we do-sometimes.
suppose | can prove to you that you
could sell several times as many OF a
certain book by advertising as through
your solicltors?'
"In that case you would make reg
ular customer of us. But I've paid for
too many experiments in advertising
already. don't care TO spend any
thing more in that line"
But suppose the experiment costs
you nothing?"
"You can experiment all you like on
that basis"
very good. What book will you let
me experiment on?"
I'VE have just issued Perkins g.
Young's Handy Cyclopedia. You can
try your experiment on that II you
like"
The young man thanked Mr.. Per.
kins for the order with as much Inn
pressment as IL he were TO be paid
thousand dollars for 1t and withdrew.
One morning week later the pub
Usher on entering his Office noticed
that his mail was unusually large. Be
ginning at the top OF pile foot high,
he took down an envelope. opened II
and drew out a letter to which was
pinned an advertisement cut from
newspaper, He began TO read the let
ter, which was as follows:
/ have read with establishment the In
closed notice of your Handy Cyclopedia.
What must the books be that are adVer'
tised with SO much ignorance?
This is the ad.:
Our Handy Cyclopedia Is now ready. In
Its makeup we have employed writers
with first class regulations In the subjects |
on which they write Admiral Peary |
writes the article on the south pole, BIZ
Ernest Shackieton the one on the north |
pole That the work is up TO date Is EVIL
dent from the fact that the article on
war is by Charles Dickens and that on
the worlds navies by Alfred Tennyson.
The letter continued as follows:
What unblushing impudence in pub
Usher to get out cyclopedia containing
such abomnable blunders Inquiry VIII
teach you that Admiral Peary is fitted to
write about the north instead OF the south
pole and Sir Ernest Shackleton about the
south instead of the north pole. To prove
your work up to date you say that Charles
Dickens wrote the article on war and Al
fred Tennyson that on navies. Almost
any chronological table will inform you
that both these gentlemen died during the
last century. / am curious TO know what
you mean by announcing articles by these
men, who shone In different heid from
that of the army or navy. Please send
me a copy OF the work for inspection. II
there is something wrong with your ad-
yertisement and / find the work satisfac-
tory / will order a set, / being chairman
of the committee on purchasing books for
our university library.
Three-quarters Of the letters consti
tuting the pile before Mr.. Perkins were
from persons calling his attention to
the blunders contained In his adyer'
tisement Some were facetious, some
ironical and some abusive Nearly all
contained an element of curiosity, es-
peciaIly those from persons who took
the ground that there had been some
mistake. In one of the letters the
writer said: Give me the name of that
Ignoramus who wrote the ad. for your
ryclopedia. want him." !
When Mr.. Perkins had gone through
The letters commenting on his ad. he
divided them into piles. the largest
bile being from professors and school
.eachers, the next largest pile from
Librarians, then professional men. with
, very large number scattering. There
we're 162 from persons who either gave
i definite order to send the work or
limited that they would like to see
! cyclopedia with such funny blum
lers" in it. There were twenty-five
riders from persons, conditional on its
,eing a humorous work, and great =.
many suggestions that Ii be given :,
ONE such title as the Amusing Cyclic
'edia. =.
When Mr.. Perkins had turned over .
he orders to the proper person he look :,
d for the card the solicitor had hand
d him, finding 1t in a drawer Of his
esk, There being a telephone mum.
er on the card. he called up the young -,
nan, asked him If IL would be con- -
enient for him TO call. and In ten ..
minutes the advertisement writer was :.
4 his office.
81 suppose said the publisher, :
that you wrote that ad. of our cy-
opedia without looking up any infor-
lation. You certainly couldn't have
-ritten 1t from the work itself It's
pity you hadn't received an educa-
on. You wouldn't have had to blum
err into a good thing. What kind of
q education did you get anyway
"I'm a graduate of Princeton"
1.-THE dickens you say! What's that
d fashioned key you wear on your
atch chaing'
That's the badge OF the Phi Beta
appa. an honorary society composed
the best scholars of each gradual
z class"
"0h. II is. eh7 Wen. you go over
ere and hang up your hat and coat.
uanf rou XVhat.e rorfr nrfca n wear Il