Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-08-10
THE FALSE ALARM

brands. penny a package cheaper, was
the slogan of Sections statesmen. "You get
as profit what we'd otherwise spend IN the
newspapers and magazines
But the methods that made Sexton rich
in the past threatened to pauperize his flu
ture. Advertised brands were eating the
ground from under his feet. The broadside
and countrywide campaigns of rival mills
had bit by bit forced the distributor to ca
pitulate to the demands of the grocer.
Retailers must handle popular merchan-
disc, and Grandfather's Oats, formerly
byword and buyword, were slowly and re-
lentlessly being wiped from the memories of
old buyers, while the new generation knew
only the trademarks of more enterprising
competitors.
"We're thirty per cent behind this year.
growled Sexton to his sales manager.
"What's the matter with you? If we don't
get ahead, you'll lose yours. No business
can stand such a heavy TALBOT. Drive your
men harder, Norcross, make them hustle"
@Nr Sexton" retorted Norcross, "I'm up
against it. l can't fight the field without
advertising. People have forgotten Our
goods, and we do nothing to remind them
that we are still in existence. We spend
enough money in premiums to engage IN
campaign that would restore our lead, and
| tell you again that premiums are out of
date. Putting coupon IN package only
encourages customers to keep on with our
goods; but it doesn't make new customers.
I'm strong for advertising"
Sexton rose and pounded his desk. "Nor
cross, I'm running this business my way. l
made it pay, and by heck! / mean to carry
out my own ideas, if have to 60 back to the
road again! And what's more" He
paused with clenched fists in nndair. 3Say,
who let you in here, and what DO you want"
he snarled.
THERE was no one in the outer office; so
| knocked and came In. Maybe you
didn't hear me. You were pounding on the
table. hear that you are about to make an
advertising appropriation, and"
Sexton turned furiously to Norcross.
@Had it all fixed, didn't you, Mr.. Smart
Aleck?'
Il never saw the man before, replied the
other; "but hear what he has to say, Mr.
Sexton. We can't lose anything but time
by listening, and he may have some original
IDEAS"
aft I'm still judge, that blockhead never
held an idea in its life. But have your way.
Ill give him fifteen minutes Start up-tell
your story
"You don't know anything about your
business" began Harley, unheeding the
apoplectic gasp of his hearer; @that is, from
the public's viewpoint. 1t takes an outsider
to size the consumer, and you
Sexton checked him in the midst of his
solicitation. Il don't want to hear lecture:
talk oats. How can we get the public to buy
more goods?"
"By advertising. l can submit copy and
have plates ready for the newspapers by
June first"
"You ass beloved Sexton, Eve don't
sell oatmeal in SUMMER"
"Why not?"
Because people don't eat it."
"Why don't they?" insisted Harley.
Hanged if know-they simply WON'T"
"But that's what advertising is for,-to
make folks do what they never did before"
"Young man, if you can sell Grandfather's
Oats in June, July, and August, you'll ac-
complish something l never did,"
"Horses eat oats in summer" was the ir-
relevant response.
1And SO do jackasses,-is that how you
know"
Now it CHANGED that Harley, in accord
ance with recent custom, had refrained
from breakfast that day; likewise from din
ner the night before. The most phlegmatic
and even-t tempered of humans is likely to
lose his good nature under such conditions
@Say, you, he fired back, IL didn't come
here to be insulted, and what's more won't