davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
PLOW DEVISED BY ABRAHAM
University of Pennsylvania Has Pic.
ture of Probably First Ma
chine of Its Kind.

The University of Pennsylvania
has just discovered that 1t owns what
Is believed to be the first picture OF
the pillow invented by Abraham cen.
turtles ago, According to the Egyp
tologists at the museum, their trans
lations of the hieroglyphics show
that Abraham was the progenitor OF
the harvester trust.
While plows undoubtedly were used
before the time Of this invention, the
Abraham pillow Is combination seed
er and planter, and, according to the
inscription on the picture, three men
were necessary to operate 1t.
The picture was made upon Baby
lonian brick, which was the custom In
those days The apparatus had a
tube-like attachment, into which the
seeds were poured. A vessel above
the ground facing the frame of the
pillow was used as receptacle for the
seed, and then the harrow was at
tached to the back of the plow.
The Babylonians sowed and titled
according to Abraham's commands.
and with his invention they feared
neither the ravens nor any other
birds that devoured their grain.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
COCA COLA HABIT, A GHOST.

We have all heard of ghosts, but none
or US have ever seen one. It's the same
way with coca cola ~fiends;" you can
hear about them but you might search
for them until doom's day and you
would never find one. Physicians who
have treated hundreds of thousands of
drug-habit cases, including opium, NOR
phine, cocaine, alcohol etc, say that
they have never seen a case where the
use Of Coca-Cola has so fastened itself
upon the individual as to constitute a
habit in the true sense OF the word. AL.
though millions Of glasses of Coca Cola
are drunk every year, no Coca Cola
fiends have ever made themselves Wis.
ible at the doors of the sanitariums for
the treatment OF drug habits.
The Coca-Cola habit is analogous to
the beefsteak habit and to the straw
berry habit and the ice cream habit.
People drink Coca-Cola first because
they see 1t advertised and thereafter
because 1t tastes good and refreshes
their minds and bodies. They drink 1t
when they can get 1t and contentedly
do without 1t when they can't get it.
II you had ever witnessed the rawlings
of real drug fiend when deprived of
his drug, If you had ever observed the
agony he suffers. you would never
again be so unfair as to mention Coca.
Cola In the same breath with the
"habit.forming" drugs.-Adv,
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
GRAY HAIR, GOODBYE!
Q-BAN HAIR COLOR RESTORER
Bottled at tho on ntain ofPer-
patual Youth" and Friend of
All Those who Value Their
Personal Appearance.

Drop the numerous hair dyes--they can
only cause you disappointment Q-Ban
Hair Color Restorer acts directly on the
color pigments in the tiny vessels that
make up the pith of the hair. Q-Ban in
this way. brings to the hair surface the
natural youthful color Of the hair BY
this treatment the hair is made healthy
and vigorous and the gray part disap-
pears The scalp IL at the same time
made clear and free from dandruft.
No use of thin. crispy hair, faded or
streaked with gray In either man or wo-
man, when by applying Q-Ban Hair Color
Restorer you may have a fine head of
fluffy, natural colored hair by applying
O. Ban Hair Color Restorer age Is no
more barrier TO social or business sue
cess People with gray hair are at a
great disadvantage. But try only one
bottle of Q-Ban Hair Color Restorer and
note the difference in your hair, in your
mental attitude and In the way the world
gTeets you. All that Is necessary is the
occasional application 70 the hair and hair
roots of Q-Ban Hair Color Restorer. II is
safe and pleasant to use and we guar
antee satisfaction. Q-Ban Hair Color Re
storer contains no dye or poisonous lead,
II makes the hair soft and luxuriant.
It gives life and beauty to the hair.
At good druggists, 5oe bottle. II yours
does not keep 1t send us his name and Soc
In stamps or silver and bottle will be
cent you promptly. Hessig- Ellis Drug Co.
Memphis Tenn.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
COULD POINT TO ONE VIRTUE
Husbands Comparison of Wife's ciga-
rette With Himself Gave Her
Opportunity for "Shot."

President A. Lawrence Lowell OF
Harvard said at dinner In his honor
In Chicago:
Early marriages are the best. 1t
is neither good for the man nor for
the community that he should wait
until he Is twenty-eight years old be
fore marrying"
President Lowell paused a moment
and then. smiling. he continued:
Another trouble about late mar
riages Is that the mans babits-his
bad habits-are formed, and it's hard
to break him OF them. You know,
perhaps, the story of the cigarette?
"A man of the old.fashioned manly
man type--the soft, full-stomached
type that drinks too much, belongs
to too many lodges, and mast be su.
perior to woman In everything-this
man took umbrage over his wifes
cigarette, the one modest cigarette
that she took after dinner, though he
of course, smoked like chimney all
day long. And 30 he said one eve
ming:
II believe you think more of that
nasty, poisonous cigarette than you dc
of me, your husband
"'Well, dear his wife replied, smil
Ing and blowing cloud. 1 can keel
my cigarette. you know. from goinl
out"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
SltuhtIy AduIterated,

Mandre de Fouquieres, the celebrat
ed Partisan cotillon leader, talked te
group of reporters, before his de
parture for France, about the Ameri
can woman.
1T is a mistake to suppose that
the question of money plays an i'm
portant part in American marriages,
said M. de Fouquieres. The love
match Is not rare. Indeed, 1t is much
more common here tLan with us.
Smiling, the Frenchman added:
Il believe there are few American
girls who would answer as the candid
New York debutante did when asked
If she was marrying for pure love.
Pure Love-? said the debutante
with roquish smile. Well, not alto
gether. Pure love, adulterated with
a little money!"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Made Daddy GASP,

A certain small Chicago laddie is
quick-witted as initiative, and so given
to considering himself as quite an
adult In comparison with his baby
brother, that he now and then talks
and acts in a manner that might by
the uncomprehending be judged Inn
pertinent. Not long since at the fam
lily table the boy attempted to relate
q recent experience. His father. who
was talking, paid no attention, and
the child's anger got the better of
his politeness. Raising his voice
shrilly and speaking with an absurdly
unconscious resemblance to his fa-
theirs tone and manner under similar
circumstances, he demanded
Papa, will you kindly close your
little trap for Just one moment while
! get In world"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Special Hospitals Needed.

The National Association for the
Study and Prevention of tuberculosis
estimates that there are over mil
lion consumptives in the United
State, of whom probably at least one
third are unable to provide for them
selves the necessary treatment at
home. Most of these cases are a men
ace to the health of their families and
associates, and should be In special
hospitals. At the present time, how.
ever. even If every case were known,
1t would not be possible to provide ac'
commodations for more than one in
eight or ten. The removal of these
foci of infection demands more and
better hospital and sanatorium pro.
cision.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Alas, That Poor Eco.

Waiter" From the table by the
window the voice of an elderly gentle
man rose In accents wrathful Wait.
er!"
Eyes, SIR" replied the much ha'
raised one. Fastening forward.
The elder gentleman, overcome by
his emotions, made several vain eff
forts at articulate utterances. Then:
Take this egg away" he roared
Take II away
Yes, sir" said the waiter obliging
ly, as he glanced wistfully at the Of
Tending article. "And-~and what shall
do with It, sir?" +..
DO with it," The outraged Gus
toner rose menacingly from his chair
do with it?" he beloved fiercely
why, wiring its neck"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
BG2S2ia23siasssasasasg@a3s,
They WANTEDADOG
But Gos a Baby Which Beats
the Best Canine
Living.
By c, 3. CRAWFORD.

They were a lonely old couple.
Seth Earl was sixty and his wife,
Ada. fifty-five. II they had had chill
dren living they could have faced the
future more hopefully. But the lone
Illness that had always encompassed
them since their only boy, Arthur,
had died in babyhood, seemed to be
closing In around them more tightly
from day to day. like tangible thing.
They owned their house In the vii.
lage and Earl's pension from the cor
poration that had employed him for
30 years, small though it was, pro.
vided them with the necessities OF
life. Since Earl had retired he had
mooned aimlessly about the garden
plot. He had always looked forward
to his long holiday, to a life of leis-
ured ease, and now life seemed to
offer nothing.
Once, five years before, they had
discussed adopting a child But Seth
had never returned to the subject.
The look upon his wife's face har-
rowed him. and he knew that no
child could ever take the place OF
their little boy whose photograph was
the only picture In the neat little par.
lor. ......
Il guess I'm too old to start caring
for child now, Seth" said his wife.
Besides, we'd be in our graves, as
like as not, before 1t was grown old
enough to shift for itself"
Both OF them had always been
somewhat afraid of life, and both
shrank from new enterprises. The
narrow round of their days had be-
come q rut along which they travelled
aimlessly
IF only had something. II only a
dog" he said to himself. THAT would
be company. He'd come to wake me
mornings. barking and wagging his
tail, and then what walks we'd have
together. Well, why not? Why
shouldn't have dog? Other men
have one"
AS he expected. Ada offered strong
opposition to the suggestion. But
Seth was insistent over his tremen'
dous plan, and gradually his enthusi-
asm won his wife over.
He'd muss up the house and
scratch things" she protested. "But
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28

Mandy's Gentle Little Hint.

Mandy" said her mistress, that
beau of yours shouldn't wear white
clothes. He is so black 1t makes him
appear all the blacker. Why don't
you give him a hint?''
Lord, Miss Sally, you know some
thin'!," said Mandy. with animation.
Il don't give him er hint, but he jes
natterly amt got sense ernuff ter take
It."
Perhaps you didn't make 1t strong
enough"
Nom, thet's right, maybe | didn't
jes looks at him right hard. an |
says: Niger, you sho do look like
black snake crawlin' out o. cream,
you do!'-thet's 'whut | says ter him.
Miss Sally"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
ROYAL Widows Woes.

Poor old Francis Joseph emperor
of Austria. is again called upon to
use his kindly Offices by another dis,
tressed lady who desires the approval
of the pope to the divorce recently
granted to her by the civil courts.
The lady is the Archduchess Isabella,
who married Prince George of Ba-
varia, union that was but for a day.
Plus X has ratified the legal decis.
ions. but has ordered as pennance
for the lady that for six months she
shall remain retired In the Red Cross
convent and minister to the sick.
The archduchess finds this prescrip.
ton of the pope altogether too Sc
we're, as she desires to attend the
wedding of her cousin, the prince OF
Croy, with Miss Nancy Leischman.
daughter of the United States minis.
ter to Berlin. In the meantime Fran.
els Joseph will do what he can to re-
lieve the lady Of the discipline infict.
ed by the church.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28

IL you've set your heart on dog |
suppose you must have one. But
where'd you get dog, Seth? A good
dog would cost $40 and we haven't
dollar to spare. Nobody we know
has dogs to give away-leastways,
not good dogs"
20, yes, we can get a dog" an
swered Seth promptly. "The Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to Ami
mails has dogs to give away. I was
reading something about 1t in the
paper yesterday. 1t says they pick
up stray dogs that nobody wants, and
lost dogs that no one claims, or that
have got turned adrift, and give them
away to anybody that will guarantee
them a good home. Ada" he contin-
ued firmly, I'm going into town to-
morrow to see that society, and I'm
coming home with a dog"
We'll, | suppose he can eat the
SCRAPS" said his wife grudgingly. The
imminence of the event startled-al-
most terrified--her, hut her husbands
eagerness quenched all further objec-
tons on her part. She even began
to picture their neat little home with
its new occupant
II hote he won't be a noisy, ill-tem-
pered dog, Seth,' she said And
don't you get one that's going to
bark all night, unless there's burglars
round. And mind he isn't a biting
dog" .-.
They discussed all manner Of dogs
that night and finally settled upon a
fox terrier as likely to give the most
satisfaction. When Seth had depart
ed next morning Ada found, to her
establishment, that she had become
almost as eager~as her husband. She
paced the floor nervously In the inter-
walls between her duties, and once she
caught herself in the act of polishing
the chairs. as though some human
visitor were expected. Il wonder
what sort of dog Seth will bring back
with him." she ihused.
And when at length Seth stood at
the door, detected and dogless, great
discomfort settled upon her.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Square Meal,

Jones, who Is somewhat OF a phi
lanthropist. went to his favorite res
taurant at noon for lunch,
Say" he began. addressing the
manager, "a poor fellow came to me
this morning asking for food. as he
said he was starving. gave him
my card and sent him to your res
taurant and told him to get good
square meal and would pay for It
How much is the bill?"
"Fifty.five cents. sir"
What did the poor man have?"
Nine beers and a cigar"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Obiialng Her.

The sweet young thing was. being
shown through the Baldwin locomo
tive works.
What is that thing?" she asked
pointing with her dainty parasol
That" said the guide. is an en-
CINE boiler"
She was an up-todate young lady
and at once became interested. And
why do they boil engines?" she in
qure dagain.
ITO make the engine tender" po
litely replied the resourceful guide. -
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
PANTRY CLEANED
A Way Some People Have.
A doctor said:

A DOCTOR Sdiu'
Before marriage my wife observed
In summer and country homes. coming
In touch with families of varied means,
culture. tastes and discriminating ten
denotes, that the families using Pos
tum seemed to average better than
those using coffee.
when we were married two years
ago. Postum was among our first oroef
of groceries. We also put in some tea
and coffee for guests. but after both
had stood around the pantry about a
year untouched, they were thrown
away, and Postum used only.
'Up to the age of % had been &C
customed to drink coffee as routine
habit and suffered constantly from In
digestion and all its relative disorders.
Since using Postum all the old com
plants have completely left me and
sometimes wonder If ! ever had them.
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek Mich. Write for booklet, The
Road to Wellville."
Postum comes in two forms.
Regular Unjust be boiled
Instant Postum doesn't require boil
ing but Is prepared instantly by stir
ring a level teaspoonful In an ordinary
cup of hot water, which makes 1t right
for most persons.
A big cup requires more and some
people who like strong things put IN a
heaping spoonful and temper 1t with a
large supply of cream ~
Experiment until you know the
amount that pleases your palate ana
have it served that way in the future
"There's n Reason" for Postum.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Couldn't you find a single dog .aa,

NouiuH you lnO single uOS max
would suit, seth?" she snapped out.
Couldn't get near EN-" her hus'
band answered alphabetically, II
found the society all right, but the
woman secretary wouldn't let me in.
No, nor even finish what had begun
to say, hadn't got the word adopt
out of my mouth before she asked me
If were married. Married 80 years.
| answered, 80 years, ma'am, and to
the best woman Then bring your
wife along, she said We don't have
dealings with men,"
you mean to say they take all that
trouble about a dog?' inquired his
wife. You'd think it might be babies
they were giving away instead of
dogs. reckon" she added thought
fully, "she must be one of those sui.
fragettes."
Well, | suppose we'll just have to
give up thinking about a dog" an
swered her husband gloomily.
Now, isn't that just like you.
Seth" replied his wife. THE mo-
ment trife happens to upset your
plans you want to give up. You
promised me dog and dog I'm go
ing to have
Seth looked at his variable wife In
amazement. "But / thought you
iidn't like the idea of getting a dog,
Ada" he said.
Il did and didn't. When you first
spoke about getting dog naturally
| was scared a little. But I've been
thinking It over since and--O, Seth,
| want dog as much as you and
more" she sobbed.
Her husband drew her to him ten.
derby. Her old gray head rested upon
his shoulder. He knew 1t was the
instinct of motherhood within her that
had provoked her grief. At last she
dabbed her handkerchief to her eyes
and smiled at him.
Ada, my dear, you're going to have
your dog, and tba finest In the land,
he said, "even II 1t takes the last pen.
NY OF our savings"
But it's not going to cost penny.
Seth" she answered. Because I'm
going into town tomorrow and-and--
I'm going to bring back our dog
Seth Earl put his wife aboard the
train next morning. He was to do
the -housework that day, while she
was gone upon their errand And as
the hours rolled by he. too. was over
taken by the same impotence that
had overcome his wife on the preced
ing day, and he, too, found himself
busting the furniture and straighten'
ing the chairs as though a human oc'
cupant were expected. And when al
last he heard tinkle at the bell he
could hardly open the door, he felt &C
shaken.
Ada stood at the door, q basket In
her arms, and her eyes were bright
with happiness, and the look on hei
face was almost like that she hat
worn on their wedding day. She en-
tered and set the basket down.
LET me see him." cried Seth, al
she began to unfasten the blanket
that covered 1t. els 1t a fox-terrier
Ada? It must be puppy"
He jumped as a child's feeble wal
came to his ears and looked at his
wife in terror as, with motherly fin
gers. she pinned back the coverings
disclosing fine baby boy.
"You goose" said Ada softly. THAT
was the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children you sent me to-
And when saw the babies lying in
their little cots all In row wanted
to take them all and-and-"
II wish you had, dear" answered
her husband ecstatically. "This beats
the best dog living"
Copyright, 1918 by w. G. Chapman)
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Quite SuperfIuous.

Mrs. Ellsworth had new coiored
maid. One morning, as the maid came
down stairs. the mistress said:
Emma. did you knock at Miss
Flora's door when | sent you up with
her breakfast?''
mo, ma'am," replied the maid, with
preternatural gravity What was de
use OBJ a'knockin' at her do when |
knowed 70 sure she was in dar -
New York Evening Post.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
REAL MERIT HAS MADE
BONDS LIVER PILLS

q household word through the South.
We have spared neither time nor
money In perfecting BONDS PILLS
for the cure OF Headaches, Bilious
ness. Constipation, Malaria, and sim
liar Ills. MERIT was our chief object.
Not how cheap" but how good We
could make them.
The extraordinary success of
BONDS PILLS is due solely to their
MERIT, not to loud and misleading
claims of CURING EVERYTHING
Adv
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
What They Told Her.

A group of old ladies was talking
and knitting, Each one was telling
how much or how little she weighed
at birth.
One said: Well, | weighed just
three and a half pounds"
The others gasped and one Of them
asked: And did you live?"
She answered. They say did and
done we'll"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
WIRE FENCING

Roth welded and wrapped for stock.
pigs, poultry, garden and lawn, all sizes
per rod Send trial order ROOFING OF
all kinds, galvanized and painted steel
rubber and gravel coated. We have a
good rubber roofing for SIC square all
complete. Send trial order Mention this
paper. Pidgeon- Thomas Iron Co.. s%-%
N ID St. Memphis. Tenn. Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
No. SIX-SIXTY-SlX

This Is a prescription prepared es.
pecially for Malaria or chiils and
Fever. Five or six doses will break
any case. and If taken then as tonic
the fever will not return. 25c.-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Fluuratively Speaking.

Father" said little Herbert. why
doesn't mother travel with the cir
cus?"
What could she do in circus7"
She might be the strong woman, |
heard her tellin' grandma this morn
ing that she would wind you around
her little finger.'-Judge.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
More Latitude.

Say. Pete, why don't you leave
your church and join mine?'
What would be the advantage In
that?"
~ can swear all durn please, and
you can't"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28

She Had Such Dreadful Accident,
An Emporia girl met a friend the
other day and said. why weren't
you at the party last night?" The
friend replied, "Oh, had dreadfuM
accident. sat on the lawn and .,
mosquito bit me. and could not get
my new skirt on over the bite. "
Kansas City Star.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Paw Roll wit.

Small Boy tcrouched up over big
book -Mother. what are the wages
Of SIM"
Suffragist Mother--Anything under
IS a week, my son.--Life.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Out Of Place.

The Last Arrival-Oi thought this
was to be a progressive party. Ma
loney?
Card Party Host-So ut Is, Moike.
The Last Arrival twitheringlyj---
Thin phwat's that black Republicans
av u Casey doing her?-puck
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
canarIes Warn of Dancer.

Canary birds are now part of the
equipment Of very well regulated
mines II the atmosphere is ques-
tionable the birds are carried into it
and they show signs of its effect az
once.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Irritating Skin Troubles,

so prevalent in summer, such as
hives. poison oak, chatting, sunburn,
eczema, etc, are quickly relieved when
Tyree's Antiseptic Powder is used.
Csc. at druggists or sample sent free
by ]. S. Tyree, Washington, d. C.-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
common svmn,oms In cblldr.,

Common Symptoms In Children
are headache, high temperature, foul
breath picking at nose, and grinding
OF teeth, sure indications of worms
Give the child Frey's Vermifuge &C.
cording to directions and watch re-
suits. At all dealers 25c--Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
THE BEST hot WEATHER TONIC,
GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
The Old Standard General Tonic. Drives out Malaria
Enriches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System
FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

wonderfully
dforthes
Chi
of
sandP Relieves
purhe the blood
Guaranteed Druggist We
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
RUB-MY-TISM

VIII cure your rheumatism and all
kinds OF aches and pains--Neuralgia,
Cramps. Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antlseptc
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
That Soft Answer,

oh" she said, your conduct is
enough to make an angel weep"
II don't see you shedding any
tears" he retorted, and his tact saved
the day.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
Small Instrument.

II understand Dobble is musician.
Eyes, in small way"
How is that?"
"He plays the piccolo"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-08-28
No Compliment.

She-Did she know you?
He-No; she said she couldn't re.
member my face.
Some people are lucky!"