Arizona republican., 1913-01-23
Stories You May Not Have Heard
Philadelphia Ledger)


 Nearly everyone been lucky enough to hear Miss Helen Mar tell story from the plat the stage in that nimitabe way of hers, which always brightens and sharpens point. Now we may read in a new volume, May I Tell You a story?' many of Miss Mars favorites
 Here are two clerical which paratively fresh
 to discourse morning upon the vcissitudes Jonah and the whale
 And for three days and three nights he began, Jonah in the He bushed mered, stopped and then started again.
 For three days and three nights Jonah in the Once more he was covered with con- fusion, and more he stopped and mopped his face from which the precipitation was literally pouring, with his handkerchief. Then he gathered his in both hands, and with a mighty effort he finished triumphantly
 " And for three days three nights Jonah in the society of the whale!' :"
 "A sermon was being preached purity of heart, and the words eloquently: Oh Lord give us pure hearts give clean hearts, give sweet hearts, and every in the gregation fervently responded Amen. :"
 This story called forth protest in q letter but it has been laughed at by bishop, so Miss Mar didn't mind the letter Sometimes, she says, a hostess is rather per turbed before the stories have been started for fear that will be about clergymen. and per haps offend any of the cloth" who may be pres ent Now, as matter of fact if were able to choose those whom l am called upon to try to I should always make that cergymen present. They make absolutely the very best audiences could have. road-mnded, thusiastic and with a keen of humor-which indeed the saving grace"
 But. Miss Mar remarks, can't please everybody. She received a heated message the telephone from a who believed this story aimed her:
 After every had made the face they possibly could, gentleman went up to lady and said:
 Madame I think you have won the prize,
 !" Oh she said I wasn't playing
 There many stories in the book about that funny country they tell us you come from" as a woman in the audience of a mothers meeting in the East End expressed it.
 A rich American to London and met Englishman, whO-strangey enough-lked him and asked him his house. The Englishman great collector of antiques. curiosties etc, and showed the American, amongst other things, table and chair. and, pointing to them. said: That table and that chair once belonged to Milton"
 "Realy,' said the American. kneeling down and reverenty kissing both table and chair.
 And continued the Englishman, that table the very which that immortal classic Paradise Lost written
 What Written?" questioned the guest
 Paradise Lost" the reply.
 Who wrote it?" again questioned the Ameri-
 Milton" replied the host
 Who did you say owned that table?'
 "NIilton' answered the host again.
 "Gosh" calculated the rich in a tone of disgust. T thought you said Lipton."
 This will be to many readers
 "A met friend and said. q say. old chap I've got awfulIy good idea, don't you know? I'm going have musical box put up in my bath when I'm having my bath I have bit music. don't you know?'
 His friend didn't seem to think much of the idea. When he met him some time afterward he the bathroom off. Oh. said his friend. tell the truth wasn't of a The plaguey thing would only play God Save the King and I had to stand up all the time "