davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

than to interrupt me IN the midst OF q
hammock talk?'
"Oh. that's all right" wheezed the
trainer. GAS long as you didn't spill
her out, she'll be back"
well, what Is it?''
Il had a stomach-laugh slipped to
me just now" He began to shake.
$50 you broke up my tete-a-tete to
tell me funny story?"
Listen here. These cowboys have
got you touted for foot-runner." This
time Glass laughed aloud, hoarsely.
They have framed race with .
ginny down the block"
"All right, I'll run"
Mr.. Glass's face abruptly fell into
solemn lines. "Quit your kiddin',
Wally; you couldn't run a hundred
yards in twenty minutes. These guys
are on the level. They've sent Gen.
eral Garcia over to cook it."
Eyes. The race comes off in ten
days"
Glass allowed his mouth to drop
open and his little eyes to peer forth
in startled amazement
Then it's true? guess this climate
.s too much for you." he said. when
did you feel this comm on?"
Speed laughed. Il know what T'fn
doing"
With an effort at restraint the
trainer inquired:
whats the idea?"
It'll tell you how 1t came up, Larry.
lin very fond Of Miss Blake. That's
why l broke the record getting out
here as soon az 1 was invited. Well.
she believes. from something said
one of those odd moments, you know
that I'm a great athlete, and she
told those cowboys that I'd gladly put
on my spiked shoes and carry their
colors to victory. You've heard about
the monograph"
Glass smiled YEARLY Il can't hear
nothing else. The gang is daffy on
grand opera"
When l was accused of being an
athlete l couldn't deny it, could II"
II see. You was stringin' the gal.
and she called you. eh?"
Il wouldn't express it in quite those
terms. I may have exaggerated my
abilities slightly" Glass laughed. she
Is such a great admirer Of athletics, 1t
was quite natural. Any man would
have done the same She got me COM
mitted in front of the cowboys, and I
had to accept--or be a gutter"
Glass nodded appreciatively. "All
the same" said he, you've got more
nerve than burglar. How you goin'
to side-step?"
81 made the match for an 'un-
known" Speed winked "Covington
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

will be here in day or two. I'll wire
him to hurry up. Fortunately l
brought lot Of athletic clothes with
me. so I'll so into training under your
direction. When Covington gets here
I'll let him run"
The fat man sighed with relief.
NOW I'm hep. / was afraid you'd try
to go through with it. You had me
wtngin for while, but l plugged your
game with the cowboys. Pawnee Bill
and his Congress of Rough Riders
think you're a cyclone
"It's the first chance l ever had to
wear that silk running-suit. Who
knows, maybe l can rum"
mix. now Don't kid yourself too
far. This thing is funny enough as it
stands
ooh, l dare say 1t looks like a joke
to you. but it doesn't to me, Larry. If
l don't marry that girl, I'll go off
my balance, that's all, and I'm not 60
ing to overlook any advantage what
ever. Fresno sings love songs, and
he's got mint of money. Well, I'm
going to work this athletic pose to
death. I'm going into training, I'm go
ing to talk, eat sleep. live athletics
for a week, and when I'm unexpected
ly crippled on the eve Of the race, 1t
is going to break my heart. Under.
stand! I am going to be so desperate
ly disappointed that I'll have to choose
between suicide and marriage. The
way feel now, think I'll choose mar
riage. But you must help"
Leave it to me, Boz"
From inside the house came the
strains OF Dearie. sung in a sympa'
thetic tenor, and upon the conclusion
Berkeley Fresno's voice inquiring:
Miss Blake, did | ever tell you
about the time l sang Dearie to the
mayors daughter in Walla Walla?"
Miss Blake appeared on the gallery
with her musical admirer at her ell
| bow.
yes" said she, sweetly. you told
me all about the mayors daughter a
week ago." Then spying Speed and his
companion. she exclaimed: "Mr. Fres-
no has a fine voice. hasn't he? He
sings with the Standard Glee Club"
Indeed"
"Sure!" The Native Son of the
Golden West shook I'D a hammock
cushion for the girl. "Tenor!" said he
sententiously.
CTo BE CONTINUED
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

Ahead" Queried the scholarly little
man. At msntion of his beloved clas-
sic. Carara, the Mexican, murmured,
softly:
All The Baggage Car-Te'adora
Mora, God bless 'er!"
j must confess I've never had the
pleasure said Speed whereupon the
speake" regarded him pityingly. and
Slower. jealous that SO much Of the
conversation had escaped him, in
CURED:
Can Il be that you never heard that
monologue, Silas on Fifth Avenoo?"
Again Speed shook his head.
AS If the very memory were hilari-
ous'y funny. Still Bills shoulders
heaSad. and stified laughter caused
bis Adams apple to race up and down
his leathern throat. Swallowing his
xnerriment at length. he recited. in q
choking voice, as follows: "Silas goes
GID Fifth Avenoo and climbs into a
bus. There is girl settin' opposite
He says, The girl opened her valise,
took oct her purse. closed her valise
opened her purse. took out dime
closed her purse. opened her valise
mt I'm her purse, closed her valise
Asnded the dime to the conductor. got
a nickle in change. opened her valise
took out her purse, closed her valise
coszed her purse -
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

They were engaged. Perhaps he re-
pented; perhaps he did it only for fun.
Said he:
My darling Ethel, what would you
say if I were to tell you that l cannot
marry your"
Il would say. my dearest love, that
| have big brother, who would make
it warm for you, and that l have some
of the sweetheart little billets-doux
that would make it expensive for you
George, dear"
"But, you know, haven't said 1t.
81 know you haven't, my pet"
$50 we'd better get married. hadn't
we?"
Il think so. my precious"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
MRS. NEWL YMADE AT MARKET
Starts Right Off to Show Grocer She
Knows What's What--And
the Result.

"Hints on Going to Market" muir
INJURED Mrs. Newlymade to herself,
running a practiced finger down the
index in the back Of the Young
Housekeeper's Friend and Guide.
Here it is, on page Chin, yes.
Green peas" she read, "'when fresh
and young, have bright green pods
Never buy those that have become
yellow; they have passed their
prime"
With a confident step Mrs. Newly
made entered the corner grocery and
walked up to the vegetable counter
She settled her glasses firmly upon her
nose. and scanned with a critical eye
the stock that was displayed. She
frowned a little when she say that
there were no peas with fresh-looking
pods.
q wanted to get some green peas"
replied Mrs. Newlymade, but | don't
want these; they're not fit to eat when
they're as yellow as that. That's
sure sign they're old. These are SO old
they're almost pure white. | shouldn't
think you'd ever get anybody to buy
such poor-looking things"
Mrs. Newlymade looked very severe
ly at the grocer, who grew very red,
turned away and coughed with en-
b2rrasment.
should think he would be
ashamed, thought Mrs Newlymade,
but he needn't think ! don't know
what's what. He might just as well
understand be can't work off any old
stale stock on me, if / am new at
housekeeping!
The grocer walked down to the end
of the counter and laid his hand on
basket. Here's some green peas over
here, ma'am," he said, huskily, wiping
his eyes after his coughing spell.
Then things you're lookin' at there
are wax beans!"-Youth' Companion
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

we'll and hearty and weigh about
200 pounds. l feel very grateful that
I found Dodds Kidney Pills and you
may publish this letter If you wish.
am serving my third term as Probate
Judge Of Gray Co. Yours truly,
PHILIP MILLER, Cimarron, Kan.
Correspond with Judge Miller about
this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills, SOC. per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co.
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
cipes for dainty dishes. All sent free
Adv
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
CHAPTER IV.-Contlnued.

Speed beheld an understood man OF
fndeterminate age, hollow-chested,
thtn-faced, gravely benignant. 1t was
not alone his glasses that lent him a
scholarly appearance; he had the
stopped shoulders, the thoughtful in
tensity of gaze, the gentle, hesitating
backwardness Of a book-raised man.
Speed acknowledged the introduction
pleasantly, while the benevolent little
man blinked back of his lenses.
Slower addressed himself to Miss
Blake.
Il told the boys what you said,
miss and we four has come as dele
cation to find out II II goes"
mir. Speed and l were just talking
about 1t when you came" said Helen.
I'm sure he will consent If you add
your entreaties to mine"
''Tt would sure be a favor" said the
cow-man, at which the others drew
nearer. as if hanging on Speeds an
swer. Even Cloudy turnen his black
eyes upon the young man.
The object of their cooperate gaze
shifted his feet uncomfortably and felt
minded to flee, but the situation would
not permit of 1t. Besides, the affair
interested him. His mind was work
fng rapidly, albeit his words were
hesitating.
'But I'm not in condition" objected
the youth.
Mr.. Glass said you was never bet
ter than you are right now Anyhow
you don't have to bust no records tC
beat this cook. He amt so fast"
'It would sure be kind-heartei act
If you'd do 1t for U.S." said the little
man in his high, boyish voice. 1t was
q shock tc discover that he spoke In q
dialect "There's heap OF sentiment
connected With this affair You see
outside of being a prize that we won
at considerable risk, there goes with
this photograph a set of records
among which We all have our special
savorites. Have you ever heard
Madam-o-sella Melby sing The Holy
City?"
Il didn't know she sang It," said
Speed.
Take it from me, she did. and
you've missed a heap"
You bet" Slower agreed, In q
hushed. awed tone.
We'll, you must have heard Missus
Heleney Moray in The Baggage Coach
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

Sure I would" declared the JAM,
tor. why not? What would l want
more than common sense and aver
age honesty. Suppose amt had no
experience! Who has, that's wanted?
Amt there such things as secreta-
ries?
Bluff, I take it as compliment.
got called wouldn't be in no worse
shape than some Of them that's held
down the job before me. Look around
you, Nels, my friend. Look around
you and read the papers and then tell
me if the buffers amt on top of the
heap. Look at the blufing blow
lards that's presiding over the courts
and the brass-bound bluffs that's away
UP in the army and the boodling bluffs
that's running some of our city gov
ernments Once in a while one Of
'em finds out that all the clock needs
is winding, and winds it, and then
men Of high attainments at a low sal
they name cigars after him and fol-
low him around with bands of music;
but the most of 'em hires modest
men of high attainments at low sal
airy and takes the responsibility and
the money that there is in it and any
credit that their friends give 'em and
puts their thumbs in the armholes of
their vests. And why not? Why am
I asserting here on the stairs at my
ease and why are you bearing down
on the shammy with the sweat run
ming down your nose and listening re-
specially to my remarks? Becauae
you're a modest man and I'm not.
That's all for the present, Nels,"
concluded the janitor, getting up snd
pushing his subordinate gently from
the door. Me and this four bits have
got an appointment with Deveney at
his place Of business and it may keep
me for the rest of the morning. Think
over what I've said while Tn. gone
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
The Basement
Philosopher
BY KENNETH HARRIS
Copyright. 1913. by w. G. chapman)

NSoP3iikn1 4T4o' W W. Ne $h@RHlaA<
AS the janitor descended the stairs
from the corner apartment on the sec
ond floor, he found his Scandinavian
assistant busily polishing the handle
of the vestibule door. The assistant
looked UP with his usual amiable grin
and the janitor seated himself on the
lowest stair and cleared his throat
with his usual preliminary cough.
"Nels, my friend" said the janitor.
"just to show you that I'm a good fell
low and amt thinking of my own
selfish interests all the time, I'll tell
you fiddle somdings. Speaking as
friend and good fellow, it's my
duty to tell you that you are one
large-sized mutt. Why? Because
when lady asks you if you can fix
her forty dollar clock for her you
shake your silly head and tell her
that you can't. Consequently you
lose her respect and you miss your
chance of her slipping you any little
sign and token of it-like this.
The janitor opened his hand and
displayed a half-dollar nesting coyly
in the palm; then he stretched his
leg and put the coin into his trousers
pocket.
How did you know that you
couldn't fix it till you tried, you
chump?" he inquired. You amt no
clockmaker? It's pipe you amt, buc
she amt supposed to know it, is she?
What did / do? I looked as if / was
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
SYNOPSIS.

Cowboys OF the Flying Heart ranch are
heartbroken over the loss of their much
priced photograph by the defeat of their
champion in a foot-race with the COOK OF
on at the Flying Heart. J. Wallingford
Speed, cheer leader at Yale, and Culver
Covfngton, intercollegiate champion run
ner, are expected. Helen Blake, Speed
sweetheart, becomes interested in the loss
Of the photograph. She suggests to Jean
Chaplin, sister Of the owner of the ranch,
win back the photograph. Helen declares
that II Covington won't run, Speed will.
The cowboys are hilarious over the pros
pect Speed and his valet, Larry Glass.
trainer at Yale. arrive. Helen Blake asks
Speed who has posed to her as an ath-
iete. to race against the Centipede man.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

the guy that invented clocks, to be-
gin with. Then / says, Might trou-
BILE you for a newspaper, ma'am"
says, and small screwdriver and a
pair OF fine tweezers, If it amt too
much trouble Then when she'd gone
out of the room, wound Mister clock
up. She comes back in q minute or
two and I lifted the clock down onto
the paper and took the back off and
made careful jab or two inside and
showed the regulator over to fast a
notch or two and jiggled the pendu-
lum. Then I screwed the back on,
put her back on the mantel and
started her up. You won't have no
more trouble with it if you wind it
regular, ma'am, I says. Thank you,
ma'am,' says I, All there was, the
blame thing had run down.
What would l have done If it had
been wound up? Well, might have
thing. If that didn't work I'd have
told her that the eccentric pinion had
iammed on the balance cam and
thrown the secondary governor out
of gear and that it would take a spe-
cial tool which / hadn't got to put it
right Then I'd have recommended q
friend of mine that was in the bust
ness, and got my tip just the same,
and maybe a little rake-off on the
side and the lady would have had a
high opinion of my intelligence.
you take it from me, Nels, there's
no need of going around telling what
you don't know and can't do. Try it
whirl, anyway, first. Ny old man
used to tell me that a modest dog
missed much meat and as far as
the principle of the thing goes, he
was right Where the saying falls
down is that there amt no modest
dogs. A dogs got too darn much
sense to hang back when there's a
meaty bone in sight--unless there's
a bigger Dog has grabbed it off, and
I wouldn't call that 'modesty.' Most
generally this here modesty means a
lack Of sand. The modest guy IS the
one that's afraid the job is toe big
for him to tackle and he won't try.
He hates to take a chance. Some
body might give him the ha-ha, and
he's too modest to stand for that.
"The trouble with you is that you
amt naturalized yet. If l was run
ming things in the immigration de-
partment I'd let in few epileptics
and anarchists and turn back all them
that was afflicted with modesty. IL
sin't American. The American idea
is to tackle any old thing and do your
level best to make good. Talking Of
departments, along last February,
John Deyeney comes to me and says
he. The doctors having trouble find
ing competent and willing Democrats
to fill his cabinet, I'm informed. Now,
Mike, would you take the interior or
the agriculture or something, if it was
offered? I'm sounding you first be-
cause the doctor would not like to run
The risk and humiliation OF public
refusal
Would / take it, / says. Lead
ne tc it. ANY one of 'em or all Of
emf
"You big blufE!' says he, I hoh-
s;iy believe you would
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
Case of Mrs. TulIy.

Chicago, I'LL take pleasure in
writing to thank you for what Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
done for me. / suffered with such aw-
full periodic pains, and had a displace-
ment, and received no benefit from the
doctors. | was advised to take Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
am now as well as ever. Mrs. Will
LIAM FULLY, 2052 Ogden Avenue,
Chicago, III.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia f. Pi~kham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound will help you, write
to Lydia T.. northumberland Co.
(cOnfidential) Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by n woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

your mindf" Inquired Speed.
I'D like to see you" Glass, clad IN
his sportiest garments, seemed utter
ly lacking In the proper appreciation
of Wallets position. He treated his
employer with a tolerant good-Rature.
Miss Blake excused herself and
went into the house. whereupon her
companion showed his irritation. See
here. Larry, don't you know better
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

and if an automobile stalls by the
door and they ask you If you can fix
it, don't be modest. Unscrew every
thing that you feel equal to screwing
up again and when you've done that,
pour a gallon of gasoline in the tank
and pocket the fve-spot they give
you. So long,"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

my breath was
short and I had
chills and back
ache. | took the
pills about a year
ago and have had
no return of the
palpitations. Am
now 63 years old,
able to do lots OF
manual labor, am
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
All to the Good.

Over cigarette and an iced drink
at the Knickerbock club in New
York a certain clubman said to
friend the other day:
We'll, where did you spend the
summer"
bad Nauheim," was the reply.
And you?"
Naughty Newport he answered.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

ana L got noInlnS
that helped me I'M
til l began taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's
V e G e t a bic Com
pound. l was irreg-
ular and had cramps
so bad that | had to
go to bed. Now l
have better health
than | have had for
years and l cannot
speak too highly of
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
a Guess.

What is that mans profession"
Lobbying"
How do you knOw?"
Its apparently the only profession
a man can carry on successfully while
he stands around doing nothing"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
Would Never Do.

Lets go west and kill Indians"
whats the matter with You, kid.
Some OF our best baseball talent Is
being picked up among tie redskins
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
JUDGE CURED. HEART TROUBLE.

/ took about boxes of Dodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which I had suffered for years. |
had dizzy spells, my eyes pulled,
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
CHAPTER v,

AIRY GLASS discovered his
protege on the rear porch
engrossed with Miss Blake,
and signaled him from
affair; but the young man ig-
nored the signal. and the
trainer strolled up to the
steps.
Hello. Larry. What's on
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10
WOMAN 4
GREAT Sufferer
Tells How She Was Restored
To Health by Lydia E.
Pinkhal1's Vegeta"
bic Compound.

GRANVILLE, Ill.-"I was a great suf-
ferer of female complaints for a year
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-10

your medicine. Mrs. JESSIE SCaAAR,
alb Main St., GRANVILLE, III.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-02-02
MOVE TO Cancel
| bAILEY'S SPEECH
AT LINCOLN fETE
Association to Be Asked to W thdraw
the Invitation AMI Procure
New Speaker.
TWO MORE JOIN THE REVOLT
,2reas. ati..s Dgan sal cags::r
~
OIL Ss.ator.
OIL Sa.ator.

Springfield, H., Feb. l.--At le@st
lght members OF the General As
amhly will not attend the Lincoln
anquet here on February II be
..se Joseph w. Ba ley, form er
nted States Senator from Texas.
as been asked to be the principal
peaker.
Two Progressive members OF the
over house--Joseph Carter and
illiam H. Dunn-today notified
he Lincoln centennial committee
lat .ney Will not take part in ang
uncfion at which Bl ley might be
present.
Abraham Lincoln will turn il
ais grave when Bailey arises in his
Standard OIL might to eulogizc him.
commented Dunn. II refuse TO ha
present at any gathering to which
Bailey might be inFited The people
n ny district do not want any
rore Lorimerlsm or Bailyism, and /
borough Y agree with them.
There Is no difference besveeTI
GALLEY and Lee OMEN Browne"
Attacked Browne in Speech.
Dunn comes from Essex and has
very pronounced views on the LORI
Ger tage ana Baileys connection
With the STANDARD Oil Company, as
shown in the Archbold correspond
ance. Early in the week he made
] speech on the floor OF the House
denouncing Lee 0 Nell Browne.
Joseph Carter, who also refuses / III
sit at the same table with Bailey.
scmes from Champaign and was the
Progrossives' candidate FOR Speaker
He was member OF the House at
The former session and attended the
lineoln banquet two Years ago when
resident TAFT wase tho principal
speaker
II viii not attend the banquet.
aid Carter. II feel it is my duty
% refuse to be present at any fune-
tion at which Joseph Bailey. now 40
thoroughly discredlted and 50 closely
onnetted with the Standard OH
9ompany and Lorimer, is in attend
anee.
Il think the committee who had
barge OF this affair made q serious
mistake in inviting a man like Bailey
10 be the principal speaker"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-02-02
LEAVES FORTUNE
TO ART MUSEUM
Typewriter Inventor Rejects Rela-
tsves for Their Unkind Treat
ment Six Years Ago.

New York, Feb. flames Bart
lett Hammond, the typewriter in
yentor who died last week, be.
aueathed his fortune of $4,000, 600
to the Museum Of Art in this city,
according to copy of his will made
public tonight The estate includes
stock in the company Of which Ham,
mond was president.
Six years ago, two brothers and
two sister applied to the supreme
court TO have Hammond, 4 widower.
adiudged incompetent. Such q
declaration was made by the court
but later Hammond was admdeed
competent again.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-02-02
Beginning Afresl,.

Each morning is a fresh beginning.
We are, as II We're, just beginning life.
In a sense there is no past no future
Wise is he who takes today and lives
It. and tomorrow when it comes but
not before it comes. The past is Of
value only by way Of the lessons it
has brought us There should be no
regrets or crippled energies that re.
suit from such We have stumbled
all have stumbled. Ralph Waldo
Urine In Harper's Bazaar.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1913-02-02
Not q Mans werld.

This is not rightly a mans world.
Great men are but dreams of women
become militant. Women ere the real
inspirers Of men; they ignite his ev-
ezy conception. Never yet has man
sung painted prophesied nor in any
ay woven tighter the spirit of his
time, but that his mother was first
great enough to attract the gift: and
more often than not, upon his ma
turity, the potential gift was startled
into its supreme expression by an
other mothers daugbter-Wnl Lev
ington Comfort.