The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-04-14
PURCHASING A PIANO
BY JENNIE coNNERY.

piano." said the man In the smoking
car. If you never went shopping for
a piano you'd better get me to tell
you how 1t is done. anyway. you
can't keep me from telling you.
First, you decide that you might
Just as well quit hoping ever to have
enough money to buy piano. and
then you take the bull by the horns
and say: oh. we'll. we'll go In debt
for It That's the only way some
folks will ever have anything, and we
happen to be that kind of folks. So
here goes. We're sure always to be
In debt anyway. and one might ~
well be hanged for sheep az . lamb
Then you ask q number OF must
clans what kind OF piano Is best. II
you asked only one that would be al
right But you ask several of them,
and that way lies madness. Each
tells you OF one piano that Is right.
No other one Is. Especially the one
recommended by the musician you
asked yesterday-that Que is the last
word In superlative worthlessness.
80 after you have asked all the
musicians you know you are where
you began. plus slight buzzing be-
meath the hatband.
Then you decide that you'd better
pick out dealer so you ttart on the
you are received with open arms
at each place and each dealer shows
you what is without doubt the best
piano made. You believe it yourself,
when he says it that way. Besides,
he shows You an inferior piano that
Is just as good as tho better one. Get
that. carefully. The inferior one ia
just as good az the other, every bit
made by the same people.
But you'd be foolish to buy one Of
the cheaper ones. 1t is decidedly in.
ferior, though 1t has the same work.
manship and material and guaranty
as the other. Don't waste your time
trying to understand how this can be-.
but 1t must be. They all tell you that.
No piano shop is complete without
some good pianos and some other
poorer ones that are equal to the best,
only they are not.
You tell one dealer that you want q
player piano. He gets out a selection
the The Gander's Retreat From the
Barnyard.' or Moonlight on the Pump
or descriptive piece called Cats ON
the Back Fence Just some little thing
like that. 1t Is in box, and when 1t
Is unrolled you see something that
looks like piece Of wrapping paper
that had been shot at with a muzzle-
loading army musket used for Dusk.
shot. Yes, and every shot had struck.
THE salesman places this embroid.
cry pattern in the jigger in front.
where the .cuckoo doors open, and
proceeds to wiggle his feet while he
manipulates some per
|ectly simple levers under his hand.
Then. with writings Of agony. as II his
whole soul were going into his job.
le works the thing through. You are
thrilled and you firmly believe that 10
he best piano made.
THE next day. or the same day II
1ou stand the strain, you 60 to an.
'ther dealer and he does the same
hing. They all tell you the price 10
line hundred and fifty dollars. But
'ou are fortified with stories Of how
smith got two hundred dollars OF
rom the list price on his piano and |
Zones had one practically given to !
lin to keep the other dealers from 9
Yelling him one. In fact. II one be.
ieved all that ones friends have said :
me would be led to think that piano
'osts 90 little to make that It 10
cheaper to hire some one to haul them
way and burn them than to pay taxes
n them In the storeroom.
One thing you will learn In each
|lace 10 that the best musician In the
. different person. BY the
vay-has just bought Q piano Of that I
|asticular make and recommends Il
lighly To everybody. =
r must not neglect to tell you that :
- salesman finds. Just % you are 9
tasting 70 leave. o plano he had for. :
ptten. Just before he rings the BEN 3
. send for the elevator that they uso &
. haul passenger ON he thinks q
nth clap Of his hand to bic fore. y
ead-of . piano that has Just come q