davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
HOPES UNDERWOOD WON'T RUN

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Il sincerely hope the unwise insistence
of his friends will not cause Mr.. Under
wood to decide to quit his present place
and run for the Senate" said Judge N. g..
Feagin of Birmingham at the Exchange
Saturday night.
AS chairman Of the ways and means
committee IF the House Mr.. Underwood
occupies the most conspicuous political
position in the United States, next to the
presidency. 1t is the most important,
next to the presidency, for the reason
that it has to do with the government
financial measures, and the action of that
committee affects every individual in the
country. He occupies a place of greater
eminence than he could hope to occupy
In the Senate.
Again. If NJ. Wilson continues to show
the qualities of wise craftsmanship and
leapership which he has shown to date,
he is going to be reelected President,
without doubt. Underwood in the
House would OF course remain chairman
of ways and means committee. Then
after Wilson's second term. the democ-
TucN DdNlIlS BTpWn III lnt eStteI1i
of the country. nothing save death could
keep Underwood from the presidency.
But If ne goes to the Senate he will
never be President. No senator has ever
yet been elected President-a peculiar fact
of history.
Besides, there is the bare possibility
Of defeat, If he should announce for the
Senate. Just suppose that he would then
be done for lie would be a statesman
without job, and the country would he
without his great services.
.As a friend and admirer of Mr.. I'm
der wood, / hope he will not be led into tue
folly of sacrificing his present position of
pre-emnence tor course of whose vicis-
studes he is not sure. believe he would
make the greatest mistake of his life if
he should do it. ] believe his friends are
doing him wrong in urging him to run
for the Scnate-it is a greater sacrifice
than he should make"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Unrest in Japan

A portion of the Toxic populace is
bowling for the dispatch of Japanese
troops to China, but the real root of
the trouble is dissatisfaction with the
empires foreign policy as whole and
especially with reference to its hand
ling of the California land disputes.
The present ministry is accused Of
weakness in its diplomacy. Such
charges are easily made, and in every
country there is sufficient of the spirit
of the jingo to make them appear
popular. So far as Tokio's negotiations
with Washington are concerned, Japan
laid down the dictum that no right
guaranteed to its subjects BY treaty
should be affected by California; s
proposed anti-alien land legislation
This certainly was as far as Japan
could go. 1t succeeded in carrying it's
point A different set of ministers
could have done no better and might
have done whole lot worse.
Japan is not showing great pros
perity. A large class of the unemployed
exists, and such persons are ever
ready to foment dissatisfaction. The
Nanking incident is merely pretext.
The real trouble lies in the country s
condition of perturbation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.

From the Chicago News
A fool and his money are soon spotted
A soft answer never turns away book
agent
And many a man who tries to live right
gets left.
Theory Is all right in it's way, but 1t
won't wash dishes.
A little learning is almost as dangerous
as a little widow.
Blessed is the woman who can get along
on fshort allowance.
Anyway, married man doesn't have to
worry; me knows the worst.
Many a woman has been abe to reform
a man by keeping him guessing.
When she expresses wish her husband
usually has to pay the freight
One enemy will give a man more free
advertising than a dozen friends.
The kicker is bad enough, but he has
several advantages ever the man who
whines.
Consider the innocent babe in its crib
it tolls not. neither does it spin, yet IL
groweth like the interest on a promis-
sorry note.
The third wife of shoemaker in Kan
sas who has been divorced twice, has just
Inherited $4,000. He will now be good and
stick to his last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
he complainant against Mr.. carey.

the complainant against Mr.. Carey.
lie said Mr.. Carey had four acetylene
automobile lamps OF 5000 candle power.
each installed near the pavement in front
Of his place. and that tney illuminated
and rendered almost transparent the
gowns of passing women. The policeman
said the innovation attracted throngs of
men ard boys and that he had difficulty
in keeping the sidewalk and street free
for passage.
Does this powerful light penetrate and
X-ray skirts to marked degree?" Police
man Guldner was asked.
ITO a marked degreeln returned the po-
liceman. You never saw anything like
it. One young woman passed through
this light that never fails the other night,
thing on the young woman. That's the
naked truth
| IT would like to have the case con-
tinued until the last of August said Nh
Carey
About September Morn eh?" he was
asked.
That brought the proceedings around to
a good humored stage. Even the court at
tendant struck up little tune, softly
humming Let a Little Sunshine m Mr..
Carey said he had the automobile lamps
for sale, and was merely displaying mis-
wares the same as any other merchant.
You are displaying more wares than
your own,' charged the policeman.
Il do not believe | have any jurisdic-
ton in this matter" said Magistrate
Breen. II would advise you. Mr.. Guild
ner. to take this case to the board of
health.' /,
"Or the committee on light and santa
tion," whispered the whistling court at
teDdant.
Mr.. Carey leaned forward and asked
the court attendant If the case had been
dismissed
Yes; we have a heavy docket today
and little room for light cases, said the
court attendant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Mr.. Redd Retnrns

William p. Redd sales manager of the
Grasseli company, returned yesterday
from two weeks vacation spent at High
land Lake Club. n. c.
MY family spent the summer at High
land Lake and l left them there said
MI Redd. 1.-The club is made up chiefly
OF representative people from Alabama,
Georgia and South Carolina. The club
mouse has modern accommodations for
zU people. All the rooms are occupied
and many cottages are also filled. The
golf links are very fine and l never en-
JoYed golf playing more than I did at
Highland Lake club W
The club is surrounded by beautiful
scenery. 1t is only a few miles from
Hendersonvile and less than 40 miles from
Asheville. North Carolina has splendid
roads and I enjoyed automobiling long
distances with my family
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
AT coATIcooK.

Jerome's arrest for that Justly famous
little game of draw" in Canada and his
subsequent appearance in court, charged
with gambling. provides a comic interlude.
The fabbergasted justice apologizing to
the keen city lawyer. the whitc-haired
witness who appeared against him.
either righteously indignant or else slyly
vindictive, their quaint testimony and pro-
vincial airs must have made a scene that
was rich in comedy. Six>months ago lit
tie did those worthy burgers dream that
they would ever stand in the spotlight Of
international publicity.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Cherokee crcps Poor

We are having poor crops in Cherokee
county, said Dr. b. G. Sharp of Forney
a well known and popular physician and
FARMER, who is spending day or two In
Birmingham I'VE have had a distress
il ely dry summer in my part of the
state. Not only is the cotton crop short
but the other crops have been hurt by
the drought.
am now just from Greensboro where
took my son to enter him at the South
ern university, and l found that the cot
ton crop was very much injured by the
drought In Hale county"
Dr. Sharp cultivates 1900 acres in Chero-
kee and talks interestingly of farming
He is successful practitioner of med
icne and is known also as a good dea
of a politician.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
wEBsTER's THANksGIvING

From Daniel Wehster's Notebook.
For all the happiness of life. which
has been so far exceedingly happy l de-
sire to render the most devout thanks to
Almighty God, | thank him for exist
ence; for the pleasure and glory of ra-
ticnal being; for an immortal nature, and
for all the qualifications. the joys and
the country In which ! have iiveds and
for those objects of love and afDeoticn
whose being has been entwined with my
own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
SAYING OF FAMOUS MEN

From the Chicago Tribune.
Henry Clay-Going to be a mud singing
campaign, is it? Well | ought to be able
to do my share of that
Horace Greeley-Turn 1t the other side
up, and you'll see it's Bleeding Kansas
as plain as copperplate.
Brigham Young-Solomon may heat me
a few on wives, but IN going to build a
temple thatll make his look sick.
Commodore Vanderbilt didn't make
1t by getting seeHet rebates, anyway.
GordiusI guess that will hold you for
a while.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
EAR LESS COMFORTING.

Does your family make fuss over
you?" asked Pilkins.
Well" answered Poddersly II think
il would be more In accordance with the
facts in the case to say that my family
makes a fuss at me-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMEs
HARD LINES.

He dreamed of great prosperity
And millions lightly spent,
Then woke to wonder how on earth
He'd ever raise the rent.
He rode out in his motor car
Upon a well-oiled track
Just then one struck him in the rear
And nearly broke his back.
Alas, alack" he loudly cried,
This life is filled with rue;
Full many a happy dream I've had
That never yet came true"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
THE OLD SONGS.

THE OLD SONGS.
I'm fond of annie Laurie"
To hear 1t is boon.
Nobody In that song declares
That he's a Zulu coon.
l still like "Oh, Susannah."
In fact, l always did,
Nobody in that song asserts
That she's a goo-goo kid.
like the old-time ditties
And miss them with pang.
While maybe slow, I liked, you know,
Their lack OF gutter slang.
viii s. Adkins
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Jerome was acquitted of the charge of
gambling on the property of the Grand
Trunk railway at CoaticooS, and in dis
charging him the court apologized for
the humiliation to which he had been
subjected. The whole matter was Pick
wickian.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
THEY WENT TO woMBATs

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
Il want to get a postage stamp" said
the girl.
We'll" said the other girl, "lat Us go
into this drug STORE
Wombat's."
What difference does It make Whore
you buy a stamp
'.The clerk at Wombats will lick EN-
for you." replied the girI with an air of
fnality which cut Of any further argu-
ment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
NEW LIGHTING SCHEME
rrom the New York Herald.

From the NeW NUrk HeraIu
just what the board of health can dc
to halt the artificial illumination of dia-
phanous skirts is q matter of conjecture,
hut Magistrate l,rcen, sitting In the York
Vile court, referred such a case to that
board yesterday when John Carey, who
has store at 10. 1883 Broadway, wa
brought before him. charged with main
tanning a nuisance. Policeman Guldner
of the West Thirticth street station, was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
THE COMMUTER BREAKFAST

There is no telling how much money
the PENNSYLVANIA railway may make by
providing the commuter with breakfast
and the solution of his life problem.
Surely ii will be measured by the bushel.
or by the cartload. The money will be
made not by purveying food. but by CIV
ing to the commuter zone an elasticit3'
hitherto undreamed of even by real estate
apepts
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

But for Underwoods masterful leader
ship the tariff bill would not have had
plain sailing in the House and but for
President Wilson's leadership 1t might
honor to these two great statesmen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
MHY I,C,S CHEAp

From the Memphis Commercial-Appea
Guess Birmingham isn't eating any sau-
sage these days; the dog catcher killed
$500 dogs last month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Looks as il England is trying to give
us Mrs. Pankhurst In place of Thaw,
1t strikes us that Thaw is far prefera-
BILE: he doesn't smash windows and silk
hats, at any rate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

In the Third district of Maine the re-
publicans elected their candidate for Con-
gress by decisive plurality. The G. O.
p was said to have died last November
but Il comes to life in spots
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

1t is rumored that Pullman porters
are going to organize union. They
already present solid front to the
travelling public.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
LACK OF FACuIrIEs.

"Oh, dear, lovers in the old days had
trying times,' sighed Mrs Fibber. who
had just finished reading romance OF
the middle ages.
II shouldn't wonder" said Mr.. Fibber
from behind his evening paper. There
was no satisfactory equivalent for Rene
In those days"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
A STRONG INDUcEMENT.

I'VE used to be neghbors, but he left
very suddenly one morning and it was
20 years before / saw him again.
What induced him to move away?"
"A cyclone came along and | guess he
just had to co.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
EXPLAINED.

Don't you think Blabworth has un-
usual strength of Character"
mo. He left the ball game this after
noon with the score tied IN the last half
of the ninth inning because his boss sent
a messenger boy after him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

The fact that Alabama farmers have
cut alfalfa three times this summer is
conclusive evidence that they are de-
voting some attention to crops other
than cotton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Emanuers bride is said to be COM
paratiyely poor That being the case. a
great many people are disposed to ask
why he ever married her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Band Concerts Missed

MANY people are missing the band
concerts in Capitol park, the last OF
which was given August 29 said u
member Of the can't-get-away club
"Memoli and his band gave unbounded
delight.
Il hope the money for next years
concerts will be raised early enough
to begin the season in June and extend
it into September.
Il would like to see the auditorium
built in the center of Capitol park. The
summer concerts could be given there
with open air effect because there
would be a great many windows in the
building and, as 1t would be of vast
size and would be supplied with cleo
trio fans, there could be no discom
fort Should the auditorium BE built
somewhere else there should be a mu :
sic pavilion erected in the park so that
in case of rainy weather the concerts
would not have to be abandoned"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
THE NIGHT WIND

BY Eugene Field.
Did you eyer hear the wind 80
"Yooooo?'
'ris pitifu sound to hear
1t seems to thrill you through and
through
With strange and speechless fear.
ris the voice of the night that broods
outside
When folk should be asleep.
And many and nnanys the time I've cried
To the darkness brooding far and wide
over the land and the deep;
Whom do you want, o lonely night
That you wall the long hours through?''
And the night would say in its shostly
way:
''Yoooooo
Yooooool
Yuooooo!'
MY mother told ne long ago (When vas
a little ladl
That whsn the night went wailing 30,
Somebody had been bad
And then, when l was snug in bed.
WHITTIER / had been sent,
With the blankets pulled up round my
I'd think OF what my motherd said
And wonder what boy she meant!
And who's osen bad today?" I'd ask
OF the wind that hoarsely blew.
And the voice would say It in meaningfw
way:
"Y6oocoo!
100000.
Yoooooo!"
That this was true ! must allow,
You'll not believe IT, thought.
Yes. though I'm quite a model nov.
| was not always so,
And II you doubt what things l say,
Suppose you make the test;
suppose, when you've been bad some day
And up to bed are sent away from
mother AM the rest 1tlt4
Suppose you ask WHO has been bad?
And then you'll hear what's true:
For the wind viii moan In its ruefullcst
tone:
"YooOooo.
a. Yooouoo!
Yooooools
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

The auditorium matter viii be dis
posed of in satisfactory manner next
Monday and there should be no delay
about breaking ground for the edi-
fee
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
A SIMPLE MATTER.

Now, moving day never distresses Bill
Pace,
A fact that is easy to prove;
He Grams all he has in a battered suit
case
And then he is ready to move.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

The Underwood bill just passed will
bring down the cost of living and will
prove popular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

With Oscar Underwood. In the sena-
torial race, other candidates might as
well pull down" and save campaign
expenses
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
STILL CHEEKY.

.pobbs is hopelessly Incompetent
You are mistaken He's incompet,,
but not hopeless"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Falls openings will soon be in our midst
and then the shopping trade will be in
full swing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

The New York man who committed
suicide because there are too many
laws was entirely too hasty in his con-
clusions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Among the small boys other trou-
bles he will soon have to begin ralSing
leaves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Captain Hobson may be a brilliant ora
tor but lie is no match for Governor
o'Neai when it comes to a personal dis
cussion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
FEARS THE woRsA

III on the water wagon now"
said Boggs," but do not scoffA
see rut In the road ahead
ihat's apt to jolt me off,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Mrs. Pankhurst, while in this coun-
try, will be expected to confine her
bombs to the oratorica1 sort
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

While President Wilson'S diplomacy
may not suit the European powers, it
is meeting with decided favor here at
home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Favorable signs Of Prosperity

1.-The signs across the hotel register all
point to most excellent season and pros
pority," said r. b. Burk, head clerk Of
the Metropolitan hotel.
1.-The commercial men are coming stead
lily now, and the indications are that
business with them Is unusually good. A
man in my position gets pretty fair idea
of the business barometer, because the
travelling men usually give out the glad
news of good business after days work
upon getting in, after a trip to nearby
points
There has been steady Improvement
in the class of men out selling goods, or
huIting business. In the past few years.
The cheap, vulgar-mouthed> light-brained
se-called travelling man; has been crowded
out by the trained commercial salesman.
These last are better paid. l can note
this, from the allowance made them for
expense account. A good salaried man
has liberal expense account allowance.
..The demands fer first-class aecommo-
dltons are steadily growing Hotels. to
hold the most desirable trade. have to
keep we'll UP with modern equipment and
first-class conditions. Rooms with bath,
from $3.50 to $3.50 per day, are always in
demand. and we are continually making
provisions for this by additions.
.'Yes. sir, optimism 10 In the eye and
the talk of all the travelling men just now,
and believe we shall see an unprecedent-
ed season of prosperity in the SOUTH.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

The year 1913 will be remembered in
this neck of the woods as a political
year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Business In October

September is usually quiet month
In the business world and we are hav
Ing no exception to the rule now said
Thomas w, Daniels of Chicago. "Busi-
ness conditions have been sound all the
summer and prosperity has been in
evidence.
II predict great activity in the
months of October and November.
voted the democratic ticket and / be-
lieye the revised tariff will give gen.
eral satisfaction. 1t certainly will not
hurt business in the main. l find many
of my republican friends are now recon-
ciled to the Underwood tariff. Just as
soon as the thrift bill becomes law
manufacturers VIII feel a sense of re-
lief l hope the currency reform bill
will pass and with these two democratic
measures in operation we should have
a period of prolonged prosperity
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
Az a Convention city

Birmingham is exceptionally popu-
lar now as a meeting place for small
bodies, and when we get the big audi
torium it will be the leading conven-
tion city in the south,'' said n business
man. The voters of Birmingham VIII
certainly give a decisive majority fol
the auditorium next Monday and the
projected building should be erected
and ready for use by next May.
Among the large and particularly
desirable conventions that can be
brought here within the next two OF
three years are those of the Locomo-
tive Engineers. the American Bank
association, the American Bar associa-
tion and the Knights of Columbus"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
MODEST MARY.

Mary had little skirt,
Twas slit to make two halves.
She didn't wear the skirt to fiirt.
But just to air her calves.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Mary had a little skirt.
An "x-ray.' and she knew il.
Nor seemed to care enough to hurt
How many men saw through it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
The auditorium Proposition Popular

I IF the vote on the auditorium bond
issue proposition had taken place two
or three weeks ago the majority might
have been in the negative said tax
payer. Interest had not been aroused
and the proposition might have gone
by default. zsft
1T is very different today. There
Will be a decisive majority in favor of
the auditorium. Chairman Shook and
hundreds of other active members OF
the Chamber of Commerce have been
doing splendid work within the past
few days. The auditorium is greatly
needed, as everyone should know, and
all public spirited citizens will feel it
incumbent upon themselves to work for
big vote. l think the majority cast
for the auditorium Monday will be lit
tie short of unanimous"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10
oBIL1QrE MORALITY.

To tell lie
One never ought;
One reason why.
You may get caught.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

I'll set thee in a shower OF goid, and
hail
Rich pearls upon thee.
Antony and Cleopatra.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

A ]. Eaton. Jr and o. E. Young are
the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives OF The ge-Herald in Its
circulation department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-10

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-08-10

once. On the third dag they charged
aud took the stone wall.
From the captains account they did
II all each day. All tic accounts have
ever seen put :hc troops other than
Ricketts, at $4,000 men. Pcttigrcw. four
hrisadcs 5000. bat they passed us a,
Hanover Junction with regiments from
Zoo to loo strong. Killed and
Wounded in three days. his figures
2.3l1; one day. TO. Pickett. 5000 men
killed and wounded Ia two hours at the
outside 1896 Mettss figures. Even adj
hitting ali he says about Pickett am
willing to submit IL To the real soldiers
Of his own command If he is not a
gentleman. a scholar and n soldier com
Jared 10 the man who nifty years after
the event in controversy would hash
up such story to mortify a living
widow and helpless grandchildren.
u. b EASLEY
Scottsburg. Va. July / 4, 1918.
List or killed OF Fourteenth Virginia
at Gettysburg from memory:
Company H--Brooks, Covington.
Farmer, Garrett. Ives. Irby. CAPITA n
Logan. Saunders Light. ousley. Smart,
Womack. Richard Light. Robert per-
kins.
Colonel Hodges. Major Poor. Adju-
tant Jenkins, Captain Cogbni First
Lieutenant Taylor. First Lieutenant
Yancey Company T.; First Lieutenant
lanccy, Company G.; FRS; Scrgean,
iancey. Company z Lieutenant Per