Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-08-30


or less noted as wits
and humOrists. Per
haps the idea may stimulate some lit
erary hack to make a much more COM
plete compilation of American humOr
and supply a want long felt in these
days, when readers are being Overfed
with the lurid, the morbid and the
tragic. The memory of practically ev-
cry member and ex-member of our
various legislative bodies, federal,
state and municipal, stores up some
samples of original repartee which
doubtless will be lost to posterity I'M
less preserved in printers ink, says
John Elfreth Watkins in the Philadel-
phia Record.
In Washington the man who doubt
less has the greatest fund of stories
of brisk repartee in debate on the
floor of congress is Speaker Champ
Clark. He recalls singing retorts
that have excited not only uproarious
laughter but threats of personal en-
counter.
The retort which he considers as
perhaps the most effective was made
by Senator James Hamilton Lewis
when a member of the house. Lewis
opponent had been the aggressor and
had been doing all of the vicious dig
ging. Lewis, as usual, was all suavity.
The speaker tells the story in this
way:
1T was one of the finest bits of
repartee | ever heard in the house.
Lewis and Lemuel T. Quigg of New
York were having a cut-and-thrust de-
bate on the trusts, Lewis assailing
and Quigg defending.
AT last Quigg made a particularly
vicious lunge at Lewis, to which the
latter, with the grace and politeness
of Lord Chesterfield, replied:
"'Mr. Speaker, do not wonder that
the gentleman from New York de
| tends the trusts, for it Is written in a
very old book that:
1.-THE ass knoweth his owner and
| the OK his masters crib
That ended the debate very sud
denly"
Speaker Clark save me also the fol
| lowing sample of repartee, contributed
not as one of the wittiest retorts he
ever heard, but as that precipitating
about the most ridiculous situation he
ever witnessed in a legislative body
Toward the end of his term as
speaker of the Missouri house of rep
resentatives Judge ]. E. Alexander
now a member of the national house
of representatives, was solicited fol
recognition by a large number of mem
bers standing in the aisle in front o.
the speakers desk. At last the Hon
James T. Moon, very brilliant mem
Der from Laclede county, yelled out:
Mr.. Speaker. l want to know i
you recognize me?'
Speaker Alexander, very grave
and dignified gentleman, responded
at does seem to me that | have
seen that ugly mug somewhere be
FORE"
The immortal wit of the late Sena
tor Jonathan Dolliver is considered
by Senator LaFollette to be produc
1--WE VI luc very UcSl lcpdl Tee uSdl'
on the floor of the senate.
The quickest fash of wit that l re
CALL" said he, came after Senate
Warren of Wyoming had delivered
speech in behalf of protection. Al
members of the senate knew that Sen
ator Warren owned sheep ranches il
his native state and his earnest al
peal had already tickled the fancy O
the listeners.
Senator Dolliver followed him an
had begun a discussion of the tart
changes when Senator Warren, an,
ious to join in the sentiment, re
marked:
"I quite agree with the senator o
that point. Like himself, l am a
agriculturist and
You remarked Dolliver, simply
> are the greatest shepherd since Abrs
ham,
Even senatorial dignity could nc
withstand this"
Representative Fitzgerald of Ne
York, chairman of the appropriation
committee of the house, said that on
! of the most effective shafts of repa
: tee which he ever heard was hurle
some years ago by a southerne
whose name he does not now recall.
"A hot debate was on" said NJ
: Fitzgerald. 'and a member of the f.
publican party began by assailing col
gress generally and Democrats in pa