davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-06-24
PARTISAN SAGE

If your hair is too dry brittle
-colorless-thi stringy or
falling out-use Partisan Sage
now-at once.
1t stops itching scalp, cleanses
the hair of dust and excessive oils,
removes dandruff with one appli-
cation, and makes the hair dou-
bly, beautiful soft - fluffy -
abundant. Try a SOC bottle to-
day.
1t will not only save your hair
and make it grow, but give It
the beauty you desire.
VlBGEs DRUG 90.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-04-11


manure on the chiefs hand, and
knew he was lost
''Pll file charges agin you," said
the chief, and walked away.
The chief did file charges, and yes
terday he presented the extraordin-
airy spectacle of chief of police ap-
pearing to present charges against a
$62 month hostler
The horses were filthy" said the
chief to the civil service commission.
1.-THE barn is filthy" said Harmon.
They had three days sweat on
them" said the chief.
Possibly the chief meant this as a
subtle joke. Anyone who ever saw
mounted cops horse-or mounted
cop-sweat will kindly raise his right
hand. No one? Thank you.
There was" said the chief, lin a
hushed, awed tone, manure on them
horses"
;, The civil service commission gasp
ed Then it fired Harmon, on
charges of neglect of duty and-this
also was the chiefs work-intoxica-
ton.
Harmon really ought to think him
self lucky. He can now 60 out and
get job under some one who won't
tear off 20 per cent of his wages
every month. .
But as to Chief McWeeny, after
his strenuous accomplishment, he
left the city for an indefinite period
Some say he has gone away to get
married; some say he's just resting
up. .,-.
$780,
EVERYBODY! HERE'S A TIP HOW
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-04-11

teacher. She was awakened by bur-
glar in her room. Was she scared?
She was not!
She got rid of the burglar, and here
are her rules, guaranteed to work:
Tell him he should be ashamed of
himself.
Laugh when he tells you not to
scream.
Suggest that he ought to be work.
ing.
Lead him to the door and let him
60. n
, And perhaps he'll give you back
your money and jewelry.
These rules worked all right, but
Miss Van Wert's burglar was GER
tainly an amateur. He threatened her
life with steel jimmy, and when she
told him to behave, began to cry.
He pulled the usual stall about going
west to be honest and Miss Van Vert
let him keep S13: The rest of the
money and her jewelry, which he had
put in his pockets, was returned.
J Try it yourself some night.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-04-11

TO GUST A BURGLAR
New York, April 11.-f a young
woman is suddenly confronted by a
burglar in her room, should she dive
under the covers and keep perfectly
quiet, or reach under her pillow for
a perfectly useless revolver, or should
She Just sit up in bed and scream for
help?
She shouldn't do any of these
things, take it from Miss Susan Vert
who knows what she Is talking about.
Miss Van Vert is normal school
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-04-11

Pat-Av coorse, drivin' joltin' old
cart do not be as luxurious-like as
ridin' in a autymobile, but for safety
give nae tn cart livery time. You
know what We kin expect av cart if
a wheel comes Off"
Al thought you were a vegetar-
ian and now see you eating mutton!
B-Well, l am only an indirect vege-
tartan; / eat the meat of such animals
only as live on vegetable food.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
. .
LIVED THE LONGEST :
FOR \ FAT PERSON

est. Loui. Post.p Dispatch. 4,

est. Louis POST ispatch.)
Ella Ewing. whose death at the age
OF 80 has been announced. lived long
er than most persons Of abnormal
size. though Patrick cotter. Irish
giant. who used to light his pipe at
the street lights in England. was IS
when he died.
The true giant class has included
many hundreds OF men. but few wom-
en-. Data as to any woman who ex-
ceeded Miss. Ewing's height. about %
inches. are as reliable as those on
which NJ. Henrion pretended to figure
that Eve must have been 11s feet 8
inches tall. Anna Swan. who went
through the Barnum Museum fire in
New York: in 1864: Elizabeth Stock. Of
South Carolina: Elizabeth Fairman Of
Kent. England; Anna Hardy Of Lin
colnshire: Angelina Melius. "Ameri-
can giantess." who appeared in Lon
don in 1924. accompanied by a Manila
dwarf: Miss Cooke. English woman,
and Miss West, ''of North America"
were none OF them more than Sc inch
es:
Charles .Byrne. whose Skeleton is
museum. was 100 inches tall: Nc.
C;rath. orphan giant" brought up by
Bishop Berkeley. was %: Josef Wink
elmster. Austrian. about whom. much
was beard IS wears ago. md Cotter.
were 1913. and Chang. Chinese giant.
yes o.. King OF, .Noachian giant.
was SO tail he Is said to have escaped
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
THE IMMIGRATION Bid BEFORE
.. TAFT.

Chicago Record-FIerald: At last the
much-amended immigration bill has
reached the president. Tho bizarre
provisions which the conference com.
mittee inserted into II have been elm.
mated. and in it's present form tho bill.
is admitted and in It's present form
the bill is admitted to have consider.
able merit, in so far as It strengthens
the features Of u immigration laws
that are designed to keep out unde.
sirables. The apple Of discord, how.
ever. remains. The literacy test has
been retained, and This test is likely
to cause the killing Of the whole
measure by an executive veto.
There is much opposition through.
out the country to the literacy test.
and the opposition Is not confined to
employers Of labor who need muscle
and endurance. Social workers, i'm.
migrant protective leagues, educators
and moralists. deep students Of the
economic effects Of immigration, are
among the opponents of the test. II
would not debar blackmailers. forgers
and other crooks. while 1t would Ger.
tainly exclude thousands Of honest, in.
dustrious. thrifty men and women
who were unfortunate enough to he
born and raised in communities that
fail to provide even elementary edu.
cationsl facilities:
Secretary Nasel publicly criticised
the test = few. days ago. He though,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

the Hood by wadins along in the wake
OF the Ark. No adaptation Of nature
to environment. however. accounts for
the tallest Missourian that ever lived.
Her part Of the state was remote from
the districts affected by river hoods.
Many Of those In the shortlived giant
class continue to grow. as Miss Ewing
ts said to have done, until the day Of
their death.
Giants have their Plutarchs. but the
fascinating giant biographical data de-
scribe no personality more worthy aud
Interesting than Mtss EwinS's with a
mans bulk as Lamb wrote in his
charming sketch Of Widow .Blacket.
an Oxford g~iantess two feet shorter
than Miss Ewing. with whom he spent
many an agreeable holiday" 'her
humors and occupations we're emin-
emily feminine" She realized early
that romance was not likely to n
into the life Of a Girl who requised 80
YARDS OF cloth to make her a ,hobble
skirt: and she was resigned. Her
standards and ideals were those of
the we'll brought up American country
girl. She vac deeply religious. Her
character was one Of simplicity, con-
~sistency-even sweetness. IL she did
wear q No. 20 shoe.
At an early age she would become.a
Mississippi Valley myth. and images
Of her would be preserved In Missouri
civic centers like the huge images
kept at the London Guild hail. at
Antwerp. Lille and other places.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
NEW PARTIES.

Our state law is not definite on the
subject Of the organization of new po-
lttical parties. No especial provision
is made for them. At almost q
election the secretary Of state or the
attorney general or some o6fcial must
decide whether or not some political
party can be given a place anywhere
on the ballot. and II SO in what man.
ner. One official helds one way. and
another has a different view. In one
way or other we worry along, but there
is a state Of uncertainty all the time.
and people ~ kept guessing as TO
what their political rights actually
are.
1t is the right Of any citizen. not
merely to belong to whichever Of the
existing parties he plcases. IL to join
with other citizens in the organization
Of an entirely new party IL he and they
desire to do so. II does not matter
whether the policies advocated by the
party organizers are by the majority
considered wise or not. II a reason
able number of people want to organ
Le a party or their own they have
the moral right, and they should have
the unquestioned legal right to do so.
and the method to be pursued should
be as plainly and specifically stated
as is the method for the z anizaticn
of business corporations.
Failure to observe this rule leads
to many complications. In Illinois, for
instance. while the progressive party
Ia recognized as a legal party. few
81 its members can participate in its
primary election because the Law pro-
hibits participation in the primary
election of one party.if the voter has
within two years participated in the
primary Of any. other party. As most
OF the men who are now members
Of the progressive party in Illinois
have participated in either republican
or democratic primaries within two
years they are detarred. This situa.
ton is due to the fact that the organ
fzation Of new political parties was
not contemplated when the election
law OF that state was adopted, hence
no provision was made for it. Our
own Law should be amended 50 that
proper provision would be made for
new parties, and that the plain man
might know just what he could and |
could not do.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

> SAFETY RAZORS IN SURGERY. :.
. . = .
(New York Evening Post. ,

(New York Evening Post.>f
Here is an interesting piece Of in
formation for the safety.razor max.
ers. The surgeons fat least one Of
them) are throwing away scalpels and
using safety razor blades: in their
stead. In the Journal Of the American
Medical association, Dr.. John B.. Muir.
phy-who Is. ny the way, the Or.
Murphy Of the BUTTON" and MS
|eellaneous surgical fame-describes
several handles by means Of which the
various types Of razor blade may BE-
safely. and conveniently. ana ~instantly,
Transformed into useful. sursicai tools.
Every surgeon, saw Or. Murphy, has
been annoyed by dull scalnels.. Safefy
razor blades. after their career as
hair removars IL finished, make ex.
cellent scalpeis." In cheap and -ead-
lily o~btafnahle. The doctor has for
some time used them I'm an hts work
and found them in every. way satisfac-
tory. 80
This information is. OF practical in
tereet chiefly to surgeons ana instrn-
ment makers. As q new. uttliza tion {
q. waste product. however. and a,
.ticularly odd ont. it. seeras worthy the
attention OF It's prospective victims as
we'll. 80
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
Pointed Paragraphs
lNex York Press


It's the interior of a mans head
that counts.
Second thoughts may be hest-ii
they arrive in time.
Few Of US are perfectly happy; and
few Of US deserve to be.
You won't be forced to eat your
words il YOU pay compliments.
Too often the charity that begins
at home isn't worthy Of mention.
There are lots OF people in the swim
who cannot boast Of clean records.
A woman seldom finds any good
in her husband by the detective
method.
a good way to respect people is no.
to be intimately acquainted with them.
4 woman doesn't believe everything
a man tells her-uuless he is a for.
teller.
One Of the things that fail to come
to him who waits is the money loaned
to his friends.
Some men are born great, some
achieve greatness. and some manage
to put up a successful bluff.
No. Cordelia. the possession Of a
phonograph will probably not make
your life n grand sweet song.
But when a man is sick a $50 gold
piece may buy him a lot more than
twenty friends will give him.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

It is to be hoped that whatever else
the legislators do on the subject Of
direct legislation. they will not require
the people to vote at the same time
on two proposition which are conflict
ing in hat many approve Of one and
do not approve Of the other. The very
essence If direct legislation ie that
the people shall be permitted to vote
effectively on any proposition on
which q considerable number wish
submitted. 1t is contrary to the spirit
OF that reform to require q voter to
vote for something that he does not
want in order to get what he does
want. or to vote against what he wants
in order TO defeat that to which he
is opposed.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

the Clergyman. But why have an
unnecessary scandal in the show"
"scandal?" gasped the producer.
Why, "A Modern Eve Is the sweet.
est, cleanest, daintiest musical COM
edy in the world. Mothers bring their
daughters. husbands their wives and
young men their sweethearts to see it
because Of its pure atmosphere. Where
do you see a scandal"
WE'LL" smiled the observant clergy
man, While o have a marriage GER
emory at the end Of the first scene,
your minister and the bridal couple
never complete the wedding cere-
monv. and vet they are living happily
together in the second act"
Whey. they even receive the we'd
ding ring" demonstrated Mr.. Singer.
But the minister never pronounces
them man and wife. in place Of which
the bridegroom breaks into ecstatic
song" asserted the critic.
All Of which was true. Upon look
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

write it and telegraph It in Q few min.
vtes on Monday night 1t will be very
huertedly done. and I fear that 1t will
give q wrong impression OF your
comedy IA Paris the next day" Have
no an:tety on that. score" Mr.. Shaw
replied. My comedies are not writ
ten tor the neat day" $3.50.
II 70 the fashion in England . al.
tach to house. names that in many in.
"Applecot." where the only trees are
hre: but fitness and humor sometimes
govern the choice. A retired indian
civil servant. on HE return to Eng
n Welded to hts wife's importuni.
ties. and said that she might have q
new house. But mind" he empha-
sized, 1t must not cost above three
Thousand pounds" 1t cost double that
amount. as houses have q way OF do.
Ing. and when 1t came time to name
the place tn. owner had considerable
hne masculine feeling to put into It;
SO: not wholly In memory Of India. no
called 1t "Mysofe Place."
Judge William H. Moore. at a sup.
per In Gotham, discussed. hotel prices.
They arc worse at Monte Carlo. per.
haps." he said. than anywhere else
In the world. ] know a man who took
q suite Ct . Monte Carlo hotel without
asking the price Of anything-and in
the restaurants Of such hotels its .
common thing to find no prices even
on the menus. Well. when this man
came to pay his bill. It WAS enormous.
But he psid It. Then he said: Have
Yes. monsieur said the clerk. How
many do you wish?' My friend smiled
bt1ndly. Tell me first. please. hs
said. what you charge Tor them
aere:: -.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
I arbitrary. dinacuIt To enforca and

1t arbitrary. dincult- to enforce and
unsatisfactory in every way.
The president has promised to give
a hearing to the ottectors and to con-
slider the literaer test very carefully.
Probability points to a deserved veto.
Let US have the strictest literacy test
for applicants for naturalization. but
admission to work and American on.
pcrtunity should not he denied to hon
est and a~hle-bodied men and women
from countries whose governments are
too backward or too poor to maintain
public schools.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

~S@
.. ~.....c g.

In the smoking car the conversation
turned to the merits aud dement's Of
various ways Of preserving health.
One stout. horid man held forth with
great eioquance on the subject. Look
at me- he said. Never q days sick.
food! why. gentlemen" he continu.
ed. from the age Of twenty to that o.
forty ] lived an absolutely simple. res.
ular lfe-no effeminate d%elicacies. no
late hours. no extravagances. Every
day. in fast. summer and winter. I was
IN bed regularly at . o'clock and up
again at 5 in the morning. worked
from 8 to I. then had dinner plsin
Ssnner' mark my verbs: AFTER that an
me. SIR" interrupted tho fscetious
stranser In the corner. but what were
A little boy was advised BY his ia
ther to use illustrations in his con-
v~ersation whenever they should occur
to him.
For" continued the parent there
Is no more forcible way Of conveying
Shortly after. the boy ives being
lcctured on generosity.
Johnny-far better"
illustrate 1t. papa. I think I shall
understand II better"
A prominent French critic. the story
runs. once said to George Bernard
Shaw: You are putting on a new
comedy Monday night. Let mo attenl
one Of The dress r~ehearsals. WON'T
you?" Impossible" said MIR. Shaw.
My dress rehearsals are always pri-
vate. ] have "a. refuse v e the most
But" said the other. ~ went "a
write = careful criticism. + ! hays Il
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
Reflections of Bachelor
(ch,earo News,

(Chicago Eews.l
Good judsment Is what you had in
mind. but didn't do.
a girl is awfully sly to chase after
a man by keeping running ahead OF
him.
When a woman is afraid of getting
tat h can pretend it's Of consump.
ton.
ANYHOW women would not 70 into
politics just to spend their money on
a lot Of sponges.
The reason a man can't help loving
2 girl like q lunatic is she could help
him not to. only that's the way she
him to do il.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

ing over the manuscript, it was found
that the wedding scene was complete,
even as the critical minister desired,
but tho stage manager, when question
cd. admitted that he had cut out the
final words Of the wedding ceremony
In order to put in four more bars OF
the lively song. so that the scene
would not drag.
"a Modern Eve will he see at the
Metropolitan tomorrow evening.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

The president should veto the i'm.
migration bill, and h congress should
pass another providing for the admis-
sion Of any person to this country IL
he 10 honest. industrious and decent.
II he cannot read perhaps he will
learn. and II he does not his children
day are the children Of illiterate i'm.
migrants.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
ADJUSTMENTS
A.Modern Eve.

a Modern y
Sometimes a stage manager, in his
ardent endeavor t give the public ac-
ton instead Of mere words. over
reaches himself, and leaves a wide.
open opportunity for the critical OBJ
server. Recently. in Chicago. a we'll
known minister Of the gospel, who
had been witnessing a performance Of
Modern Eve" approached Mort H.
Singer. the producer whom he knows
very we'll. -.
Il hope YOU are enjoying the per-
formance." said Mr.. Singer.
Very much indeed" complinented
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

The Bismarck Tribune had a good
cartoon the other day. There was
presented the picture Of a mar seated
in an arm chair. and labeled North
Dakota legislature The inscription
reads. That is a very important bill.
I think it ought to be killed"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
AUTHOR BREAKs a LEo..

santa Barbara. Cal, Feb. 6.-Stew-
Edward White. the author ana ex-
nlorer. broke q! leg while slidine from
the homo plato ina ball game here
yesterday. Among tho players In the
Same was Winston Churchill, recently
candidate: for. eoysrnor. Of
New Hampshire.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
(Chicago News.)

The man who is busy never ->ss
He's a poor physician who doesn't
treat his wife well.
Don't expect your shin to como in
when the tide is out.
Sooner or later a crook is apt to
md himself in straits.
A gossip is never a welcome visitor
after telling all she knows.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

Critics Of the Lincoln memorial who
claim that 1t Is too conventional are
entirely mistaken. as the artists, with
marvellous originality. haven't includ-
ed any lions in the decorative scheme.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
WHAT THEY SAY
Hate to Waste Him on Washington.

Hate to Waste Him on Washington.
(Chicaso Record Herald.)
Calling attention to the fact that J.
Hamilton Lewis Is not yet IN the sem
ate. the Sun inquiries: Why Is ILL.,
nois untrue to her chief natural beau
ty?" She Is not. and she proves 1t
by being very lcath to lose him.
One Way to Insure II.
(Houstcn Post.)
If Wilson selects a tam-up -ncd
|cshinet. we can attribute It to no other
|~eireurnstance than his disregard OF 90
per cent Of the advice he received.
Anybody Know Who Oahese Mere.
est. Louis Republic.b
Chase Osborn. former governor Of
Michigan. appears in the current news
as Charles e. s. Osborn." and yet
he was & Of the famoIs seven.
So Common They're Not valuable
milwaukee Newa)
There can't be many autos among
bers Of the legislature killed a bill
masking it a crime to steal an auto. Y
Overlooking a Bet.
Baltimore SUM-
DR.. Ana Shaw would rather vote
IMAM Oe Married. w 1nf0n S uSl1l I'M.
rracticahleness. IT she were married
she could control two votes.
Finest Gentlemen He Ever 1Ict.
(kansas City Journal.D
Cipriano Castro is much pleased to
find that Hon. Habeas Corpus is a
bigger mar in this country than Hon.
Secretary Eagel.
The Real Hard Luck Man.
:tpetroit Free Prese.)
Still, you've nothing go much to feel
blue about. How would you like to
be the owner Of a plate glass window
America Feat Him to 1t.
washington Post.D
Clip Castro has doubtless concluded
that there must be a good deal Of
fake about this see-America. first
It's the One Thst Counts.
(Birmineham Age-Herald.>
Or: Wiley Is not In tho improvised
cabinet lists, but he may be the n
will be announced March !.
But 'Taint Long. Either.
(Omaha Bee.l
MIR. Bryan only SAYS faint omcial."
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

It's the One Thst Counts.
(Birmineham !Age-Herald.,
DR.: Wiley is not In tho improvised
lists, hut he may be the one
will be announced March :.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
One Way to Insure II

One Way to Insure Il.
(Houstcn Post.)
If Wilson selects u tam-up -ocd
cahinet. we al attribute It to no other
Circumstance than his disregard OF 90
per cent Of the advice he received.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

Anybody Know Who Ohes~ Mere:
est. Louis Republic.>
Chase Osborn. former governor Of
Michigan, appears in the current new
Charles e. 5. Osborn" and vet
he was oIe Of the farno0e seven.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

So Common They're Not valuahle
(MilWaukee News.)
There can't be many autos among
the Ohio farmers. The country mem.
bers Of the legislature killed a bill
making it a crime to steal an auto. \
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

America Beat Him to 1t.
washington Fost.)
Clip Castro has doubtless concluded
that there must be a good deal Of
fake about this see-America.irs
movement.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
But 'Taint Long. E1ther

(Omaha Bee.0
Mr.. BRYAN only SAYS faint oficial.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

The Real Hard Luck Man.
:tpetroit Free Prese.1
Still, you've nothing go much to feel
blue about. How would you like to
be the owner Of a plate glass window
Lcndona
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07
Overlcokins a Bet,

OveTIGoEnG q Bet. -
baltimore SUM
DR.. Ana Shaw would rather vote
than he married. W,man's usual inn
rraciicableness. IT she were married
she could control two votes.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-07

Finest Gentlemen He Ever Afct.
(Kansas City Journal.D
Cipriano Castro: is much pleased to
find that Hon. Habeas Corpus is a
bigger man in this country than Hon.
Secretary Eagel.