davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
His Obituary.


Sam Polk was editor Of the Polk
town Clarion. Horatius F. johnson, q
befitted his name, was running for
public Office. Sam said some things
about Horatius in his paper and Hora.
thus announced in the court house
square that he intended to go down
to the Clarion Office and end the earth;
ly existence of the mud splutter COW.
ard who wrote it. These things were
reported to Sam. He went dowa
to the office to compose fitting ~
pay. "
"That scoundrel and mIscreant
Horatius F. Johnson" he wrote, an
nounces that he will cease the bust
necs Of degrading public office BY put
ting himself up as candidate ons
enough to come down to the CLARION
office and ram this sheet down oui
threats. He will also leave a wife ane
four children."-New York Evening
Post.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
.,oks on Comptroller.

When Herman A. Metz was co a,..
troller Of New York he opened D =.
for ten year assessment bonds y, = ,,
found one offer OF 1865 for $So'ov ~, !"
the bonds. AS this figure was wl.nn -.
one OF the highest received MI. ri y;
was not unnaturally elated . snu !,
once wrote to the bidder, Dol.s .
Foultz of Washington. D. g. 49, ~.
one had entered this bid IN inc n ~,
Of a character who for eleven ~, !,
has been a byword for the Joker '',. y
the national capital. Dorsey fou ~,
a negro desperate, murdere ~ sA Sh.,.
freeman, and in August 1870, ,a.red
pursued by the police, dlsappo hasp
IN a sewer and has not since NM 's7
seen, .4s 8e5F4s
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

various bureaus, divisions and offices,
but 1t may be extended to include the
scientific research work of the state
agricultural experiment stations, in
which event two editors representing
these stations will be added to the
editorial committee. Extensive scien-
tific articles, embodying complete re-
port of research Investigations, will
be considered as monographs, and-may
be published as supplements to the
Journal.
Permission will be given to special
lists to publish technical reports or
even monographs in journals of scien-
tinc societies or technical magazines
specializing in highly restricted field
Of scientific endeavor.
The Journal will be distributed free
to agricultural colleges, technical
schools, experiment stations, libraries
of large universities, and certain gov
eminent repositories and institutions
making suitable exchanges; also to a
restricted list of scientists. Copies of
the Journal will be sold to miscella-
neous applicants by the superintend-
emit Of documents, government printing
office, and possibly an annual subscrip-
ton price will be affixed, as is done
with the Experiment Station Record.
The Monthly Crop Reporter will no
longer be published. The crop Stats
tics will be collected as heretofore.
and Geographic and news summaries
Of these statistics will continue to be
issued to the press. The printed Crop
Reporter was discontinued because it
did not bring the information into the
hands of the recipients until from 10
to II days after the really important
news had been circulated by tele-
graph and printed in the daily press
throughout the United States and ,Eu-
rope, the statistical information, there.
fore, reaching the actual crop CORE.
spondent and through him the local
producer too late to be of practical
service. II
As a partial substitute for the print
ed Crop Reporter, Weekly News Let
ter to crop correspondents will be is.
sued in typewriter or other form.
This can be prepared and put into the
mails sooner than was possible with
the Reporter.
The Experiment Station Record. the
Weather Review and North American
Fauna will continue to be issued with
certain notifications. \ u,
The Yearbook will be restricted to
articles Of the magazine type, which
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Not Liable.

Senior Travieso Jr. of Porto Rico
was visiting few days ago In the
sdice Of his friend, Senior Rivera. who
represents that island in congress.
Travieso is q young lawyer and tells
Q story of a client in San Juan who
was thrown out Of the window Of a
tramcar during an accident and SO
badly smashed UP generally that he
looked as II he had been to an Irish
wake. ~ III -. ....
Travieso sued the company for dam.
ages. Imagine his surprise when the
verdict was rendered that no damages
could be awarded. on the grounds
that "the law allowed competition for
hurts received by being thrown OF the
platform, but did not mention any
thing about damages when a passen.
ger was projected through window"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Party Of Campers Enloved !.
tics Of Tipsy Youngsters
Prompt Punishment Melted On, Z,
Mother Bear Ended s,.,,,. -" y
Which Must Have Been w..
" Amusing to onIook..,

An old she bear with he, .u,.
month-old cubs had snooped s,. .oal'
the camp OF a party of anglers IN ~
wayback trout region OF pike co,,. .e
pennsylvania. until the camne,s
gan to think they would have n ny.
out and let the bear family mova y
a. the law protected the bears a,s,.a.
gun or trap. 'ln's
One evening the cubs came -.
ding along on the edge Of the cs,..
alone, having evaded the watcbiplns..
OF their mother. The camp suido \.
heved he knew enough about hes, =
ture to get some fun out of tho c, =
There was New England rum a. van
az other snake bite antidotes IN 4.
camp commissary. The guide m,,..
q quart Of rum with a sufar,...
amount Of molasses to make the cav.
bination effective. put the mixtu,. !.
big tin basin. and placed II on 4.
ground near where the two little h...s
were inspecting the possibilities ;,
the camp.
The cubs shifted around a vhu.
and then with some caution samnl.S
the rum and molasses. The samnl.
suited them so we'll that they instant
~ got busy sopping It up out Of n.
basin by the pawful. 10
BY and by one Of the cubs, evident,
feeling the moving influence Of the !.
sinuating stuff. hauled of and svatt,l
his mate across the face. That rou,.d
the temper Of the smitten cub, and \.
rose on his launches with an anr-
growl and fire in his eye, and 1 Do.
termination to pitch into his compan.
ion. But the rum and molasses had
gone to his head, and over he went On
the ground. all in a heap.
Then the cub that had started III.
fuss made dab at the one on the
ground and fell on top of him. Then
the fun was on. The two tipsy cub
bit and scratched and paved and
clawed and tumbled around, snappIn,
and snarling in mixed ale party way
The fun was paying the campers back
for all the annoyance the bear family
had given them, when suddenly tho
old she bear appeared on the scene. 4
For a few seconds she stared at the
fighting cubs and then seemed to com,
to an understanding of the situation,
for she dashed forward, grabbed the
cubs each by the scuff of the neck, and
shook them until their teeth all but
ratified. Then she cutfed their ears
soundly. while they whined and wrig.
gled under the chastisement, and, Civ.
ing an ugly growl at the campers, who
were doubled up with hilarity over the
situation, she marched her inebriated
offspring away from there on the dou..
BILE quick. "
The camping party remained thers
week after that, but that bear fam
lily did not come near the camp again.
again.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
c.reIess Oversight

"And how does this mouse .snt
Won 9 ," anxiously inquired the |. as e.
after he had done showing II
prospective tenant. :, =. Gentle
1T would be all right tne ~ IN
- an answered, al 1t had only ~
rooms instead OF six" - , :, ,,.,ru,red
(. "Why, what do you mean -. ~ y 40
tha nuyzled agent. "This cottage soo =
mt five rooms-parlor, dining -
kitchen and two bedrooms! r.pIisl,
II know" the gentleman !. =, n.r roos
..h,t vou have overlooked the Ols mo !,
for improvements sSs3s
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

B. Cluett, which left the old gashouse
pier in Boston amid the cheers and
shouted good wishes OF many Boston
society folk. ... -.srl' -.
With Miss Armour as fellow
teacher is Miss Carolyn Woolley, a
Hartford Comm society girl and q
classmate at Smith college.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

is Of it, is sadly
out of joint. He
may live in a n.y.
gienic kennel and
frequent en- c b
shows, where he
wins-or doesn't
b | ne rosettes
for his mistress;
but he no longer
peers from under
meath her arm or
sits beside her in
the limousine, for
he has been sup
planted by anoth-
er.
Imagine his feel
ings, II you can.
upon learning that
his rival In his
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Needed Rest.

Harry Maynard used to be mem.
her of the house Of representatives
until political misfortune overlook
him. The last time he was in the ma
tional capital he was explaining in
. 1ocular manner, that an extra SEES
sion OF congress would be necessary.
Congress reminded him. he said, Of
Z pianola Of which he had heard. A
man was preparing to 60 on his vaca-
ton and was unfolding his plans to
his neighbor in the next apartment.
I'VE will be gone long time" he
said, "and we are thinking about TAX
ing our pianola with US"
II would" replied the neighbor.
Tho Lord knows 1t needs vacation
Popular Magazine.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
SoekdoIooer.

A sockdologer" is slang word. at
one time often used for knock-down
blow. a settler or coup-de-grace, or
generally that which does the bust
ness effectually and once for all, Ac-
cording to Mr.. Lowell, the United
States people among whom 1t original
ed. have always taken It to be a con-
scious perversion of "doxologer,"
standing for doxology. the finale OF a
Psalm. and SO 4 triumphant close or
ascription of praise. The connection
10 not easily traced, but 1t Is doubtless
the sense OF flnality about the doxo-
loRy. which led to this rather irrever-
ent origin of the term.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Rebuke.

=. E%.e Rebuke.
$50 DR.. Founder OBLIGATED In the
pulpit this morning." ': =.
< Eyes" 4. .sgs 4 81. b
"And what was the theme Of his
dissertation" 4 @S; AZ;
Il would rather tell you the text OF
his sermon"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Many old-Aee Pensioners.

" |:II WaHy VVU-NVo TeHStVHeTU'
It has recently been stated officially
in parliament that at the end Of
March, 1918, there we're 907,s21 old
age pensioners in the United King.
dom. for whom there is q provision in
this years estimate Of 361.016,200. In
England and Wales, since 1906. the
number OF out-of-doors paupers ove-
seventy has declined "a per cent: in
Scotland. since 1909, the decrease has
been SO per cent.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Meal Nearly Ready.

Two girls were taking q walk on
the country road and after having
walked long distance they began to
ieel the effects Of the long way and
the hot sun, when one OF the girls
said, Heavens! l am almost starved"
Never mind said the other, Il am
nearly baked"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29


nue.. Evanston.
ILL.,. who made
her debut In So
ciety only two
years ago, has
forsaken social
joys to teach .
kin q e CARTE n
classes In Or.
Wilfred Grenfel's
mission at Battle
Harbor. Labra-
dor. "a.
Miss Armour,
who was q Smith
college student,
sailed q few days
ago on the "a
m Gus mission
schooner, George
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

as they should be
our diplomatic
service had better
be abolished"
said Judge James
w. Gerard. re-
Gently appointed
American ambas-
sador to Germany
in Berlin the 9th
er day. adding:
Under existing
conditions, and
until our people
see the necessity
of properly pro-
viding diplomatic
living salaries
and e m b a s 8 y
buildings it Is abb
surd to talk about
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

the women sur
frage advocates
taken to Wash
ington by the
demonstration .
few days ago. D..
When the flood
of petitions urg.
ing the passage
of a constitu-
tional amendment
poured In upon
the senate Col
onel Lewis quick
1y ... capitulated.
But his surren.
der. which was
abject. did not
take him beyond
the battle lines.
and he has had
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

several extremely interesting expert
ences with suffrage leaders.
At hotel near the capitol, where
he had gone for hurried meal, Sen
ator Lewis paid the waiter and called
for his hat and cane. There being
some delay, he walked to the dining
room doorway, and had taken the
post usually occupied by head wait
er when a suffrage advocate from
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Spoiled Her Trlp,

Then your wife didn't enjoy her
trip 10 Niagara"
Nc; the minute she saw that rush
ing water she began to wonder II she
hadn't come away from home and left
the bathtub faucet running" h
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
literally.

my young friend who went west
paid some harmless attentions to q
girl out there, and was Immediately
roped into matrimony." .rz -a y
"How was it managed?" 49, @.,, =
II believe in the usual western
ytyle-With a lariat." b. T. H., Fl. ,.s,. .,.xg-
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
The Girls View.

He and she arrived in the fifth in
ming.
He Ito a FAM What's the score?
Fan-Nothing to nothing. @
She-Goody! We haven't missed a
thing! Illinois, Siren. f
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Not that Rich.

"How rich is he?" 's
Il don't know. But he's rich enough
to worry about the income tax"
4, THAT may be, but ia he rich enough
10 have to 10 about itls 3
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Hence the DELAY.

why doesn't she sue for divorce II
her husband is as bad as all that"
sShe's going to-. But he has Just
.bonght . 1918 model car and she wants
- rot some use out Of that drst is
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

poor man taking the post of ambas-
sador.
Il am beginning to doubt" he con-
tinued, whether this Enthusiastically
business pays"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Wav Of II,

Way Of II. g.....
1T Is corporations nowadays, not
poets, who write words that burn"
How do you mean?" .-~ -
when their books are wanted IN
an investigation Of their methods"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

Loss, ".
A man will fret more over SO cents
that he accidentally drops into
sewer than he does over S. which he
loses because the player who "calls"
him has aces full. 81 'n
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

They Mean Nothing to Him..
One good thing about man is that
he never judges woman by the price
of the curtain she has at the windows.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
avFCrltIcjsin,,n,.

|, Don't you think Miss Screecher
sings with Z great deal Of express
sion 7" Az
II certainly do. ] don't think ever
nav another human being make such
faces @ she makes when she sings"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
courtIno DAYS.

'Wou!d you mind resting your head
\ o. my left shoulder. dearest Z? 4.
\ 5s5 ITO be nearer your heart?' muir.
mured the beautiful girl.
~ ss; and to be farther away from
4 ne cigars have III my right pocket
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
More SoiaciuQ.

Woman Tin cigar store)--1 wish to
yet box OF cigars for my husband.
Clerk Here's q new brand ! think
would suit him-"The Suffrafette."
Woman-Oh, dear. no! He rrsfers
4 mild domestic! Judge. II
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
hIs status.

my. partner Is a very paradoxical
man" "a ,s, IA
what IL the matter with him? I"
"He says he 10 going to take = stand
against the running sxpenssA.s
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Moe ExpensIve Than Throne.

More ExpehsIVe nan q HroHe' y
Mabel see that the czar Of Russia
has q throne that IL worth 100000.
iAdelaide Pooh! What Of that? II
cost pa great deal more than that
lar his aaat In ths senate. II Puck.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

glorying "in garments Of a texture so
fine as to have earned the poetic de-
scription of woven wind" saH
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

Miss Mildred Armour. daughter Of
Mr.. and Mrs. M. Cochrane Armour Of
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

IF the United States can't main
tain embassies and legations abroad
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Why, Of Course.

asl ~ r. Why, Of Course. .....
~ know why some trees are ever.
green" ~ 49,
"Why are they?" ~ s-., w."
Because Nature wants to look
spruce In her new frs" .....
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

Senator Lewis of Illinois has been
having some novel encounters with
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
Wrong Way.

Doctor-I sent that patient OF mine
to your place to cure him of consump-
ton. ~, "a.
Farmer-Then you sent him to the
wrong place. doctor, to Judge by the
way our victuals are going.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
lta Use.

Il wish ! had q lot Of that call
money" "a 8.5 a
"WhGt fort" i3iS n II
ITO pay my telephone bills with.
stupid"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
lady's affections

lady's affections is a common wild
animal.
Titled English women have recently
taken to adopting as pets baby beasts
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29
prints Full EdItions.

i3 aHas Jack ever kissed your"
"Never once" tsg IN s. l4.s n
II know that. Jack isn't given to
taking single kisses"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

The pampered lapdog has had his
day. His aristocratic nose, what there
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1913-08-29

It is beleved. will add greatly to this
popularity and value Of the volume. OF
which 100000 copies are printed and
distributed annually.
The series Of farmers bulletins will
be continued. The object OF these bull
letins 10 to tell the people how to do
important things. The bulletins will
contain practical. concise and specific
and constructional statements with re-
gard to matters relating to farming.
stock raising, fruit growing: etc. I'm
der the new plan the bulletins win be
reduced in size to from Is to 20 pages,
and will deal particularly with condi-
tons in restricted sections, rather
than attempt, a. heretofore, to cover
the entire country. ~
Much OF the informatios SaiIsng for
immediate circulation will be Issued
hereafter In the form Of statements to
the press instead OF being held back
as heretofore for weeks until bulle-
tin could be printed and issued. e
The publication of bulletins dealing
with foreign crop statistics will be dis
continued. Material of this character
when deemed important will be fur
nished to the press for the information
of the public. Gfs'- 4
Consideration is being given to the
discontinuance Of certain annual re-
ports Of bureaus now required by law
to be printed. with the belief that
much of the matter therein contained
is unnecessary. while certain portions
could be more advantageously and
more promptly printed as bulletins OF
the department. All executive reports
OF chiefs are to be reduced with the OBJ
ject OF confning them to business re-
ports strictly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-05-27
DR.. Friedmann's
Patients Worse.

New York, =. Y, May 26.-Ninety
per cent of tac tuberculosis patients
in New Yoei hospitals who have
submitted 10 Or. Friedrich Fried
mann's turtle germ cure during the
last three months are worse, and IN
only one case is there any such i'm
proyement as would support the Ger
man specialists claims, according TO
physicians who have been watching
the tests.
These results are not the offhand
opinions of casual observers. 1t was
stated. but are borne out by the ofn-
cial records showing the results OF
clinical examinations by numerous eS-s
perts In tuberculosis.
In Bellevue hospital, out Of 80 pa
tients treated at various times, only
three are said to have shown outward
signs of Improvement together with
clinical signs of betterment such as to
indicate an arresting Of the disease.
The other 80 cases all show, whatever
outward signs of Improvement may
appear that there has been a steady
advance in the disease.
| number of the cases are in BAD
condition, so much so that some OF the
Bellevue physicians go SO far as 10
say that the turtle vaccine has been
handicap. They point to the fact
some of the patients among the more
favorable ones, have not been In SO
good a condition since receiving
fresh supply of DR.. Friedmanns living
germ, at the second injection.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1913-05-27
Entries Announced for The
/. BoWdoin InteTsChO|astic
Track Meet. Cony Has Men En-
tered Hebron the FavoTite.
The Bates Baseball Team Has Four
Game to Play, This Week.

Brunswick, Me-, May 26.=fSpeciaD
Much interest is being shown among
The students in the 18th Annual Bow
ioin Interseholastic Track Meet, which
will be held, Saturday, on the Whit
Ter Athletic field. The Hebron team,
which easily won the meet at Orono,
Saturday, is the big favorite. although
it is expected that this meet will be
closely contested. The preparatory
school teams will probably arrive in
Brunswick. on Friday afternoon, in or
Ter to start things going on time, Sat
irday forenoon. The following entries
or the meet have been announced:
220-yard dash-Maine Central Insti-
ute, Bangor, Donald, Friend, Howes;
Iebron, Mathews, James, Small Dom
)gan: Westbrook Sem, Eshil, Clark
Portland High, Patterson, Libby. Nor
on, Barton; CobuTn, Ashley, Libbey
3elger, Tarbex; Kent's Hill, Jones
Norton, Dow. Foster; Buekfeld, Dunn
gogg; Cony High. Moore. Turner
Dexter High, Crosby, Goliath, Hatch
Deering High, Allen, Waldron, Goot'
broth, Wallace; Camden High, Dodge
120-yard hurdles-Maine Central In
stitute, Phillips; Hebron. James, Sal
.ey, Donogan; Westbrook Sem, Ca
hill: Foxcroft Academy, Hutchinson
Portland High, Mcdonnell, Owen
-oburn, Young, A. Libbey; Kent's Hill
Norton, Knapp. Dexter High, Cot
CONTINUED On Page Four)