davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHISON GLOBE.

| AS we struggle to press, the rats are
gaining on the cats
| 1t is hard to raise a prize fern and chill
dren on the same premises.
When a man gets sick, he is fairly sure
| to prefer his wife to his affinity.
A plan to make the quarantine regula-
ton extend to the bores, gets our vote.
There good many problems that
| won't be solved by problem plays.
A bum sport is one who believes he al
ways gets the worst of a trade, and says
SO.
A deadbeat puts in much overtime at
lodging, which doesn't pay price and a
half.
Assuming that this is the land of the
| free, Reno probably feels it should be the
capital +.-...-..
Outside of the receiving end, no one can
beat a slot machine except those who
don't play It,.
An automobile is like a woman; when
it is on the main street of the town good
deal it creates talk
People get over grief prostration more
frequently and thoroughly than they re-
cover from heat prostration.
1t is sometimes well to send Daughter
away on a vacation so Mother can get a
little much needed rest.
No young gent in a track suit will ever
win a beauty prive, although he may COM
pete successfully in other events
Kissing the villain in show is applause
of kind, but 1t must be hard for the
heavy actor to learn to enjoy it.
Nearly every woman knows enough
French to pronounce lingerie in the utter
ly outlandiSh and correct manner set
forth in leading lexicons.
Nature, like the other big leaguers,
breaks into the error column occasionally:
The fool who rocks the boat frequently
has sense enough to swim.
Il am always wanting something 1 can't
afford. What, by the way, is it that keeps
you poor, in case you belong to that
ample majority ?'-Rufe Hoskins
today to deny that he had struck his wife
with q hammer. He used an iron poker,
instead. The Globe regrets very much
that it misrepresented Mr.. jerks, and
gladly makes this correction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
QUAKER MEDITATTONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record.l
The trouble with the dead beat Is that
he never says die.
1t isn't always the big man who looks
down on his neighbors.
One thing that isn't to be made light of
is a matchmaking mamma.
You can tell that time is money from
the way people squander it.
Don't try to put up a bluff until you
have thoroughly tested the foundations.
Blobbs-,'A fellow who is getting mar
ried should look ahead" Slobbs-"Yes,
the bride thinks only of the present.
Every grape has a Seed but it is really
the juice that makes a fellow seedy.
You never can tell about some people.
Even a deaf man may have sound judg-
ment.
Some people who think twice before
they speak only succeed in saying some
thing worse.
It's the little things that count, but it
is just well not to let the big things
get away from you.
Ridicule is a keen weapon. You can
hurt most people more by laughing at
them than by shooting at them.
Marriage is a lottery" quoted the Wise
Guy. And some people are never salts
fled until they take four or five chances"
added the Simple Mug.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09

But you thought him wonderful i?
You thought he was handsome?"
For some inexplicable reason her
fingers were tightening on the letter
so that 1T seemed as if she must de-
Stroy it's legibility.
1t came softly, caressingly: Eyes!
I thought he was the best looking man
in the world
AT first-did you think so at
first"
Mrs. Billings hesitated. well,
no." she admitted, mot at first Not
until he told me he loved me; then 1
began to see only his PROJECTIONS, and
to forget that he had what the world
calls defects He had no defects, in
my eyes, after I loved him. And
here" she stopped to smile at Alicia,
plainly pleased by her eager interest,
"here child, is where the pansies come
in; he always called me 'Pansy.' You
see, he thought 1 was making a sacri-
fee in marrying him. He said 1 was
like the pansies, because pansies turn
their faces to the sun and follow it
wherever it goes-as if they realize
that their lives are shorti''
With the final words, she rose to
her feet, dropped the bouquet on her
chair, and started hastily down the
steps. Evidently the recital of the
long pentup memories had been
too much for her fortitude. She
walked swiftly down the path and out
on the road.
Alicia sat on the steps as If in a
trance. Her eyes stared straight in
front of her. Even the rattle of the
mail carriers wagon wheels failed to
rouse her.
But when the man had passed she
came suddenly to herself. She
snatched up the letter, which had
fallen on the step beside her, and
tore it into a thousand pieces. Then
she sprang to her feet and raised her
face to the bright morning SUN
Copyright, 1913, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.I

IF'rom the Chicago News.
Busy hands can find their own mischief
to do.
Most of the entries in the human race
are also-rans.
The honesty of one man is often good
policy-for others.
The under dog wants no sympa thy
what he wants is assistance
Sometimes a man is so shiftless that he
isn't even successful liar.
His Satanic majesty offers women dia-
mond tiaras instead of halos.
The man who doesn't get all that's COM
ing to him IS generally lucky.
And lots of men try to substitute other
things for character in business
You may shut your eyes to your own
faults, but the neighbors refuse to do like
wise
A girl who fishes for compliments never
makes a good catch unless she uses a
landing net.
In accord with the eternal fitness of
things. a man with narrow shoulders
ought to wear a broadcloth coat
We once heard of a man who kept his
mouth shut and lived to regret it-but We
have never been able to secure the PROOF
OF the assertion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
.AYHAWKER JOTS

A Peabody man has received a letter
from the wealthy Russian who Ian
guishes in a spanish prison.
The Atchison Champion warns Shelf
field Ingalls, that a nomination for of
fee will catch him if he doesn't watch
out.
A farmer out in Clay county has
run has automobile $4,000 miles in seven
months and does not do his blowing
with it either
A company has been formed for rails
ing lemons in Pratt county. The in
corporators are Miss Josephine Carver
and Mr.. Jack Lemon.
D. T. Armstrong has retired from the
editorial management of the Anthony
Republican and has been succeeded by
F. c. Mcintyre of Caldwell.
The Holton Recorder proudly an
nounces that it has installed a new
Model standard Linotype and invites
everybody to come and see it.
cousin Rip" says Buck Sawyer, was
about to hire himself out to work in
the hay field. He asked the man how
much he would pay him and the man
replied I'll give you all you're worth.
Cousin Rip scratched his head and
said: III be derned if I'll work for
it."-Blue Mound Sun.
Historical note from the Lawrence
Journal: wild Bill started life IN
Monticello township, Johnson county
He was a quiet man and when after
wards he became famous his johnson
county friends did not believe it until
they sent a man out to Abilene to
identify him. Wild Bill lived on a farm
and showed no signs of caring to be
a great fighter.
Many questions are being asked, i'm
pertinent and immaterial questions. as
to who originally stole the silverware
and things with Kansas City hotel
marks on them that were re-stolen
from a Lawrence frat house. No one
stole them first They got enthused at
a football game held in Kansas City
and left the hotel and followed the
boys up to Observation-Disclosures
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
CROWDED STREET CARS.

The disposition manifested by states
and municipalities to hold corpora
tons responsible for any unsatisfac-
tory condition in the public service
received a just rebuke recently in
Detroit.
The city council passed an ordi-
nance forbidding the overcrowding of
street cars. AS there were no officers
appointed to enforce the ordinance,
the city addressed a letter to the street
railway company, asking it to see that
its conductors saw to it that cars were
not overcrowded. The company re-
sponded with the reply that its en-
ployees. are not policemen and have
no authority to enforce city ordi-
nances. To make it effective the COM
pany suggested to the city that the
ordinance be amended so as to make
it a misdemeanor for a passenger to
board a full car and designating its
conductors as special officers to en-
force the ordinance and arrest the
offending passenger.
This, of course, put on end to the
matter. 1t would require severe
penalty rigidly enforced to prevent a
passenger from boarding a street car,
as long as he is able to obtain a toe
hold, rather than wait for the next
car. He prefers to hop on and after
wards kick about the crowded cond1-
ton which he has helped to create.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
HUAOR or THE DRY

Why Lawyers Go "Dippy. Actual
Question-Can't take her for SANDER
whether she proves what she said L said
she said or not?-Boston Transcript.
Angry Investor-''Well, I've been out and
seen that building-lot I bought of you
Real Estate Manicure just the chap
want to see. What does 1t look Ike?"-
Puck.
Officer examining passports)-"where
are your proofs that she is your wife?''
Henry Peck-"I haven't any; but If you
can prove she's not my wife you're a
made man.'-Iife.
Little Tommy (reading the Bible)-"Pop
what is a hand maiden?" Pop-"A hand
maiden? Great Scott They didn't have
manicure girls in those days, did they?''
Judge.
There's no blind side to a Georgian
mule" says the experienced brother, for
that alert animal has an accurate way of
feeling for you with its heels."-Atlanta
Constitution.
why do you call that cat PIutarch 20
ION account of his numerous lives. -
Louisville Courier-JournaL.
The Governor (sternIy)-"when I was
your age, my boy, was making an hon
est living" The Boy-"And now look at
youi-L1fe-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
Houses Without Nails.

In Alberta, Canada, there is a viii
lage of houses which have been con-
structed without nails. AS matter
of fact, little or no hardware of any
character has entered into their con-
struction.
These houses have been built by
Ruthenian immigrants, and their
architecture is quite novel Their
first attempts at house building are
usually of the kind they had been ac-
customed to over in Europe, and their
buildings are of the typical Ruthenian
style-log, pitch rooted, matched, and
wide in the caves. In many cases
dollars worth of hardware.
Even the door, an affair of slender
twigS woven and laced together,
swings on homemade hinges, and is
latched with a wooden hasp. The
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09

particle of dust, mud, or refuse in the
road over which it passes. The ref
use is automatically deposited in a
covered bin at the back of the car,
and the suction is SO great that mud is
withdrawn from the crevices between
the stone blocks with which some
roads are laid. Some of the muddiest
parts of the city were used for the
purpose of showing the efficiency of
the machine. Paper, tickets and
coins, as well as dirt, were gathered
up by the road cleaner. leaving the
surface of the road absolutely clean
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
EVENING CHAT
Accidents VIII Happen.
EYRpFA CAMERON.

That we should hide our self-con-
| ceit under a covering of modesty has
long been as much an axiom of civili-
cation as that we should hide our
| bodies under a covering of clothes
And yet how often we unconsciously
reveal ourselves in the stark naked
ness of conceit
Il don't think we'd have half the
divorces we do" says my neighbor, IF
Now 1 make it a plan to always look
for the funny side of things and ]
think 1 avert great deal of trouble
that way"
My neighbours philosophy is most
excellent, but wonder if she realizes
what an emphasis she puts on Now
1" Ordinarily she is a very diffident
person rather too much so; she is
always wishing she were as good or
as clever or as pretty as someone
trayed into revealing some of that
normal self-conceit of which believe
every human being has more or less,
no matter how thickly he overlays it
with mock or real humility.
Il don't think Mrs. w. has ANY
right to spend so much money for
clothes" says another neighbor in
speaking of friend who dresses ex-
travagantly. Now, I believe in being
we'll dressed, but I don't put half my
husbands salary on my back and keep
him perpetua1ly in debt" Again, in
speaking of another friend who (ac-
cording to herr is inclined to be care
less about her personal appearance
The idea of her neglecting herself
like that! Some day she'll be sorry.
And 1 know she could dress decently
If she'd only manage a little. Good
ness knows don't have any too much
money to spend on my clothes, but
always make a great effort to look as
we'll as possible
Evidently this woman believes that
she herself is the IDEAL the happy
mean between these two Objectionable
extremes. And yet if you should tax
her with having a high opinion of her
self she would be as astonished as she
was indignant.
We have all laughed at the old say
ing Accidents will happen in the best
regulated of families; they do in
ours" And yet most of us sometimes
betray ourselves as blatantly as its
author.
Now, mind you, am not protesting
against this instructive self-conceit.
On the contrary. as have said before,
I think a certain amount of it is nee
essary to the happiness of the human
race
I'm just laughing with you at the
amusing and ostrich-like way in
which we-you and I and our neigh
bors-by a careless speech or even by
single infection betray that which
we are so anxious to hide.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
SAYS UNCLE CIV

The older you get the more you
understand the value of the friend
who sticks. And if after forty you
| look back upon an otherwise clean
record to find a patch that represents
your own failure to stick when
nights were thick and tracks were
blind" you don't feel half a man.
! In all the material gains that gath
er about far-sighted selfishness there
! is naught that compensates a man for
the lost privilege of saying that his
| friends found him a friend in need.
None is so poor as he that, surround
ed by the Injuries. of life, remem bers
| in his. hours of triumph that some
where along the road a friend stretch
| ed forth a hand for help that he could
| have given, but did not give. This
matter goes to the essence of man
hood, and unless this account be clear
there is little comfort in an otherwise
perfect balance sheet.
He travels the fastest who travels
alone" but there is little joy in the
journeying. The bleak wastes of ut
terly selfish success, the barren 81
lences that might have been resonant
with the kindly voices of those spurn-
ed are Natures supreme revenge
upon him that has presumed to defy
her canonS and become an unsociaI
being. The golden apple that turns
to ashes at the touch is the apple that
no comrade tastes: the prize that
turns out to be but a bauble is the
prize IIdI Inere is no 1r1end to snare.
The other day a sorely tried gov
ernor asked if he would recognize
fractional lines within his party in the
distribution of offices or would make
personal appointments" He made a
reply that won him additional respect
from ally and foe alike.
IF I shall ever die a political
DEATH" said he, 81 know of no better
epitaph than He was true to his
friends"
This man, who has won more than
ordinary success, and whose name
may yet be among those who stand
high in the councils of the nations,
knows the value of the friend who
sticks.
The friend worth having doesn't ask
too many questions. He waits for no
demands. 1t is not necessary to plead
intimacy to invoke his aid. He does
not concern himself with why's and
wherefores. 1t Is enough for him to
know that one whom he has called
friend is in need. And unless you are
prepared to meet your associates upon
this broad ground call no man friend.
Copyright. 1918, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09

Civilized man finds it difficult to make
his way through life without a dozan
pockets; the ordinary walking suit has
fifteen Civilized woman makes her
way through life without pockets, de-
pending on a single bag carried in the
hand. The professional humorists have
never tired of commenting on womans
pocketless condition, but it is really no
laughing matter.
Here is a sex difference which IS
something more than fashion, which
goes to the very heart of the subjec-
ton of woman to man. If We accept
Spencer's definition of the evolutionary
process as consisting in progress from
an indefinite homegeneity to a definite
heterogeneity, the superior position f
man is at once established. His Is di-
versified pockets, each allocated to a
separate use-watch, cigar case, pock-
ct knife purse, newspaper and pack
age of garden seeds-need only to he
contrasted with the single recticule in
which the female of the species stores
away an unco-ordinated mass of hand
kerchiefs. toilet articles. carefare, press
clippings, telephone addresses, dress
samples, confectionery, memorable
and tradesmen's bills that have long
been settled by check. Strong in his
pockets, man walks the earth free in
the play of his upper limbs, whereas
woman sacrifices the use of her right
arm before venturing out in world IF
street cars, motor cars. moving stair
cases, elevators and ticket booths
New York Evening Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
PROTECTION IN A NEW FORM.

| While the Democrat administration
| is busy trying to rid the country of
| one form of protection it is being urged
| to institute another, which could
scarcely prove less Objectionable. The
| independent tobacco companies are
| clamoring for a penalty in the form
| of increased taxes in proportion to
| output on the trust product.
The suggestion that the internal
| revenue tax on tobacco manufactures
| be graduated so that it shall increase
with the output of the factories is
| avowedly for the purpose of hitting
| blow at the large combinations
| which formerly were a part of the To-
| bacco trust and giving a point of ad-
vantage to the lesser Independents.
The plan is urged by the latter on the
plea that although the trust has been
broken up, it's parts are still of suf-
ficient size to control the market and
competition is impossible without fur
Their interference on the part of the
government. Logically the plea leads
to the proposition that the govern
ment must maintain competition and,
if necessary, must subsidize the little
fellow, either directly or indirectly, by
enforcing some handicap on the big
enterprise.
From protection against foreign
competition are we to go to protection
against home competition?
If the policy is applicable to the
manufacture of tobacco. it is appH-
cable to other industry. The mere fact
that there happens to be an internal
revenue tax on tobacco, which offers
a handy method of administering this
discriminating favor of the govern
ment, does not matter. The principle
must apply to all trusts affected indus
tries or commerce, and the government
must find means for working it out.
The strange thing about the situa-
ton is that the attorney general seems
to favor the plan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
FROM OTHER PENS
WHAT OE IT2

WHAT OF 1T?
The Rev. Newell Dwight Hills predicts
that Americans will have no hair in 150
years and that children as well as adults
If DR.. Hills is trying to scare anybody.
by making that statement, he will not sue
coed Men for years have been discover
ing that hair Is not essential for the
adornment or protection of the human
skull. The number of citizens in their
| mustaches or side whiskers is rapidly in
creastng. The long silken whiskers that
suggest too promptly an election bet are
rarely seen nowadays, and then usually
on men who avoid injury to collars in
laundries by substituting boards for COL
lars and dispensing with ties.
Ten years ago dentist of big reputa-
ton asserted with considerable vehemence
that within hundred years the members
Of his profession would have nothing to
do except make and repair artificial
teeth, for humans would have no natural
teeth. Some things might be said affirm
atively as to the advantage of having that
particular prophecy fulfilled.
Predictions of that kind are interesting
but not necessarily important. No more
ton that $50 years from now the crazy
will outnumber the sane and will incar-
cerate the latter in asylums.
Hasn't Dr. Hills set that achievement
too far ahead? Has he given careful
thought to all of the "movements'' now
moving from nowhere along eccentric lines
to nowhere ?-Boston Traveller.
THE CASE OF THE MIDDLEMAN..
Any attempt to place the producer of
farm products in closer touch with the
consumer-the ultimate consumer we are
always talking about-is a recognition OF
the fact that a large part of the present
high cost of living is owing to inter-
mediate profits extracted by distributing
agents. Middlemen these agents are, and
most of them are respectable business
men, but IL they can be dis
pensed with in the interest of economy
they should not expect extended consid-
Grafton
Our present economic system entails
hardships on all sides. The farmer does
not get enough for his produce and the
buyer for the home is obliged to pay more
than he can afford, and all because inter-
vening pockets must be filled. Nobody is
to blame for the present situation because
1t has developed naturally. but that is no
reason for believing that it must endure
forever. Instead it should give way to
any better arrangement which is based on
the greatest good to the greatest number
The middleman should not sulk over his
Ill luck, but should turn his energies into
another direction and become a producer
At present he is only toll station, and
the American people do not like toll sta
tions. and cannot afford to pay their ex-
naturalization Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-06-09
NO CAUSE TO WORRY.

Aviator Fowler. who flew across the
isthmus says he could blow up the
Gatun dam with the utmost ease, and
adds that he would not fear to at
tempt it at any time He AYERS there
is absolutely no protection. and
thinks the government has overlooked
this possibility
At the same time James Arthurs, a
sub-engineer, who recently worked on
the canal. says that the work is in
such condition, and has been for Is
months. that if an emergency should
arise warships could pass through in
"a hours.
The aviator and the sub-engineer.
says the Pittsburg Post, are entitled
to their respective opinions. There are
a good many Americans gifted with
sound horse sense who are not concern
ed with these vaporings. There is one
engineer who knows more about the
canal than any other, and he is not
talking about what can or cannot be
done. When Colonel Goethals reports
that the canal is ready for use the
public will believe him, and they will
give heed when he sounds an alarm
about hostile aviators flying around
with a stick of dynamite concealed I'M
der the seat of the aeroplane. Only
few days ago a skilled birdman was
threatening to blow up Mexican cities
and ships, but as yet the wires have
licked off no startling story.
There is no occasion for haste in
opening the canal before it is ready,
and there is no occasion to fear any
assault upon it by an aviator. While
the gossipers are busy with their pre-
dictions the canal builders are just as
busy doing their legitimate work