New-York tribune., 1913-07-15
AS | WAS SAYING

The Oily Femile fair sister to the Oily Mile
is still without relatives over here, and we doubt
if the ordinary American newspaper can ever be 50
metamorphosed as to enthrall the heart of woman
Indeed, our faith in Mr.. Applegates new project
rests upon its downright subversive radicalisin.
seasoned Journalist he aims first at circulation,
so will devote the Charmer's editorial and news col
umns exclusively to glad tdings from the great de-
partment stores To this end he has recruited d
staff Of highly diplomatic seuths and believes that
the facts regarding sales bargains, remnants etc.
etc. will not long be withheld.
Naturally. his main income will be derived from
advertisements owing to the vast circulation, ad-
vertsing space in the Charmer should sell at an
unprecedented price per acre, and the agent mas
notified buds, brides mixers avgirls, Saharet Rose
heiresses and Divorces to early and select
corner lots the front page Balloon ascehsIoh
and dive for life at 215 sharp.
Great scheme! True the dear creatures have thelr
names in the papers every other minute as II is
but never in big enough letters.
We read that Mr. Garrett Hungerford's latest
masterpiece is a group called Hector and Andre"
Mache" So glad! We have long felt that Andrew
deserved notice, as he is capital chap and related
by marriage to that devoted friend of printers Gen
Darmere.
dear lady in the current Atlantic" is criticsins
her friends house Too big! THE crucial question
Is how big a house she humanize? quite
sticker. for a woman! But personally, Oh easy!
Give us a few cigars, dozen pipes to tit on WIN
dowsills (Yhy do they overturn and spll ashes')
three million matches pitch at the fireplace darn
IT, we've missed aganD and box or two OF To-
bacco for sprinkng purposes, and there you are
whole house humanzed inch deep before you can
blink! Never fails. Try it!
Shut your eyes while reading our next We nave
just finished Mr. Merrcks story in 'McClure's' and
must speak of models. For we, too, have dWet III
Trilbyland From the Boulevard Montparnasse 10
The "Boul Mich" and from Colarossis to the BeauN-
Arts. we know our Quarter Latin like book Hun
dreds OF n odes have we drawn. Indeed, we can
sum up the type in one word-not a pretty Woro'
perhaps, yet effective e.. sob!
This nils us with admiration for the heroes OF hc-
tion who fan in love with models. Theirs Is
sublime self-abnegation Imagine a gentleman
Yourself say-worshpping a stupid factory girl
same thing exactly. And 1t strikes that the
writer's who see charm and dash and cleverness in
mon enfant" exhibit creative genius beyond AL
praise.
still there was an exception, on. Fiji, Fin. When
shall we forget your matchess eyes your adoraois.
tp-tilted nose your lips, 80 soft pink and the
magic Of your kiss2 We loved you. And you-yop
know you loved us You were five and half them
Fiji. How old you now?
Wild times they are having in honor Of Borrow
the great George Borrow; that Is, author Of The
Bible In Spain" "I.ayengro" and many another de-
bshtful book But IL seems that his centenary af-
fords small Joy to Fathers O'Flnn and McNulty,
who, with Pat. Mike. Terry and Seumas, have de-
clared q holy war and films the air with half
bricks. So be IL. A fierce anti-CathOllc was Bor-
row Indeed. you might call him the first \. T. A
And yet were It our hght and Catholic, We
think we should reprint TRADES and scatter them
broadcast as tracts. They came awfuly near con-
ycrting us to the ancient faith.
Away with the Puckng Board! We have inside
information from retired admiral who has
plucked naval officers for years, and in burst OF
confidence described the task "thankess' We
had often guessed much!
We rise to object. Why does THE London Times
keep on calling the militants "hystericaf and vic
tins Of paranoa"? Think how this will offend the
excellent Engshmen who though well intentoned
and all that lack the wit to cope with them? Be
sides dear Times" maybe the explanation lies at
quite the opposite extreme For part, fancy
It does. Cold. shrewd. calculating with an eye TO
the past as well to the future-theres your mill
tant And If you still wonder which is "hysteri-
cal" and prey to "paranoia' we can guess but are
ashamed TO. r. l.. ii.