davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

Tip" he growled in reply. The won
der is that I am not in my gravel
why, what on earth's the matter?
have you got one Of your old-fashioned
headaches?'
"Old- fashioned. bosh! suppose hash
is ready, but don't want any. You can
go along and eat by yourself"'
"Shan't-shan't I send for the doctor?'
she stammered.
Send for nothing or nobody" he
shouted, as he passed on to the sitting
room and sat down on the lounge with
jar which shook the house.
Mrs. Bowser knew that IL was useless
TO persist, and she went to her dinner
alone When she had finished and re-
turned Mr. Bowser was standing before
the fireplace, with his arm on the man.
tel. He looked at her for thirty seconds
as the lion looks at his prey before kill
ing. and then said:
Woman, things have got to go differ
ent around this house or I leave lt"'
why, what's the matter now?' she
asked.
Ten thousand things are the matterI
Who took a sledge hammer and broke
that rane of glass in the front Window"
THAT pane of grass? Why, you
cracked 1t the day you were hanging
a picture and fell OF the stepladder.
Don't you remember
Never! Never hung a picture or fell
of the stepladder in my life. In order
to spite me some one has deliberately
destroyed a pane of glass that cost s2s!
Who has been tearing our fence down
since I left the house this morning.
Tearing the fence DOWN.
'I said tearing the fence down, Mrs.
Bowser. You probably spent half the
day pulling at 1t and encouraging a
mob of boys to create a hundred dol
lars damages".
How foolish Of you, Mr.. Bowser! II
you are i'll let me make you some toast
and tea or send for the doctor"
Here is the gas bill" he said, as he
toolx n from the uanteI and waved Il
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

1t was midwinter.
The snow lay nine feet deep on the
ground.
The wind was from the direction of
DR.. Cooks north pole.
The Beef Trust had raised prices an
other notch.
Gasoline had gone up again.
Early tomatoes from Cuba were SELL
ing a dime apiece.
The Shindy in Mexico was still going
on.
The Frawley committee had unearthed
another check.
There was an old woman who lived IN
the midst of a vast forest. She was
wretchedly poor. She hadn't dollar
shirt to her back, and her only skirt
was all split and no skirt at all She
had been frozen and thawed until she
had lost all sense of feeling except in
one little toe. She had hungered until
the idea of a fill-up at the Waldorf
seemed heavenly to her.
We find this poor old woman crouched
over a dying fire and listening to the
means of the winter gale and saying to
herself:
May heaven help me this day.
She waited awhile to see if some angel
would come down with a dish Of break
fast food, but finding them all busy else
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

| leastwise TIL they git purity old. What's
the pint, Abe?'
Same as befo'-Iabor savin'. Invent
sunthin' to save time and thar's money
in it-heaps O. money. Yes, Kurnel. a
darkey is a natural whistler. Begins
when he is five or six years old, keeps II
up till he Is fifty. Whistles right along,
except when he sleeps, and thar's nuth-
/ in feeble about 1t. White man hardly
ever whistles except when he wants his
dawg, and then he has to throw away a
quid O. tobacco to git up a decent whis-
| tie"
But the pint, Abe?" persisted the
| Colonel
Save up all the darky whistles. Kur-
nel--store 'em up somehow fur the use
of the white man. I'll hev it all thought
out in a week or so. Thar ar no less
than 7,S5o,214 dawgs to be whistled fur
| south of the Ohio River. Every white
man throws away fifty plugs OF tobacco
var in whistlin' fur his dawg. That's
s. apiece, or about $4,000 a var, sayin'
| nuthin' about the trouble of puckerin'
and swearin' If the pesky dawg don't
| show up. What dye think of II, Kur-
nel?'
ABE" replied the Colonel. after clos
ing one eye and squirting across the
street, shake hands with me-"
''I'll do it, Kurnel."
"Yo' ar on top. Yo'n have a clean
hundred thousand dollars out O. this
thing within a var. If you had 'em
ready to-day I'd buy 200 niger whistles
of yo' at 10 cents apiece!"
Dye mean II, Kurnel?"
Fur shore. Don't wait a day to git a
patent on that thing"
81 won't wait an hour! Oh! by the way.
KurneL"
What is is, Abe?''
That's Joe Taylor's saloon right across
the road, and bein' yo' was kind nun to
invite me to ticker, l don't mind IL do
take a leetle con juice-Just a leetle to
keep the skin on my ears from peelin' on,
J 20 know!"
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

I blast all one night"
Never! Never.''
Then a burglar got in Imping be-
! fore the man.
More likely you were primping be-
fore the glass and forgot to turn the
burners Off"
That's nonsense. You sat up one
night to finish a pirate story"
Mrs. Bowser, II is absolutely criminal
to bring such a charge against a man
who tolls from daylight to darkness to
make a living for his family"
What's the matter with the carpet? I
see you looking at 1t.
Moths, Mrs. Bowser!" he whispered
with tragic gesture. Large, fat, juicy
moths which you have deliberately lugged
in here to eat up my household stun.
They have grown fat and lazy feeding
on my carpets. See that hole-and that
and that?'
There isn't a moth in this house, and
defy you to find one!' she spiritedly re-
piled. This carpet is beginning to wear,
but I've no money to buy a new one"
Don't talk back to me. Mrs. Bowser!
When 1 say a thing is so, that ends It
Every night for a month past I have
been bitten and clawed and wounded In
my bed. BY what? Who went out and
borrowed them, and put them in my bed
to harrass and annoy and spite me? And
on top OF that you ask me II I'm Ill!
Great Scots. but such cheekF
Mrs. Bowser walked over and sat down
by a back window and picked up a news
paper. Something had gone wrong with
Mr.. Bowser at the office, or his stomach
or liver had become upset. and he must
have a victim. That's the way with the
average husband. When things go wrong
he must take it out Of somebody. and II
he can't find anybody else his wife VIII
do. She realized that he had one OF his
spells" on. and that anything she could
say would be useless.
And look at this mirror" he went on
as he wheeled around and drummed on II
with his knuckles. Here's a glass that
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

Mrs. Bowser was hooking out the win
dow the other evening, as Mr.. Bowser
dropped of the car which had brought
him home, and the instant his feet struck
the ground she knew she was in for an
evening of trouble. There was a certain
hitch to his legs and certain hump to
his shoulders which meant mischief As
he reached the gate he kicked 1t open
and then kicked It shut, and there was
stony glare in his eyes as he unlocked
the front door and dropped his hat on
the floor.
Are you Ill, dear?" queried Mrs. Bow
ser, as she came forward.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

around his head. "a gas bill for s. for
the last MONTH"
Yes, 1t came today" she replied.
TT came today, did Il? Came today!
Three dollars for last month! Mrs.
Bowser. you couldn't think Of any other
way to yank the last dollar had on
earth out Of my wallet, and SO you de-
liberately turn on the gas every day for
a week or two and let II go to waste!
Is it any wonder that I'm ready to lie
down and dep
I'm sorry the bill Is SO high" she
quietly replied. But ! couldn't help t.
II is a dollar lower than 1t was last
month";
You left two burners going at full
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

and didn't poster fur news. Last I hearC
Of him was in April"
Didn't you hear he was convicted in
May?'
mo sab, So they convicted him, eh?'
They did! Yes, they convicted hin
and sentenced him to be hung last month
70 weeks ago"
"shoo! Nobody, told me that. How
did he take it?''
wall, sorter so so. Yes, he was sen
fenced to be hung
But he got away?'
mo, ma'am- No, he was right yers
in Jail when the day arrove"
But they didn't hang him." she per
sisted.
But they did. ma'am. Yes. he va.
dooIy hung accordin' to law"
''Shoo! Jest hung him, eh?'
Yes, just hung him."
"And he's bin dead fo' weeks"
Bout TO weeks. ma'am. It's singu-
lar that you didn't hear about it"
Il was too powerful busy, Shoe! So they
hung him.
'YeSm."
Fur killin' a mani"
Fur KILN a man. ma'am. Yes, he
was hung and buried fo' weeks ago, and
you kin take my word fur it. Won't
you go around to the house for a bite
to eat befo' you go?"
mo, thankee. So they hung Bill 70
weeks ago! Hung him fur killin' q man.
Jest hung him till he was dead! Shoe.
Shoe.
And knocking the ashes from her pipe.
she led the mule up to the block, jumped
into the saddle and rode away without
another word or a backward look.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
LOOKING FOR WILLIAM wHAR-
TON.

was sitting with the sheriff on the
front steps OF the county jail wien i
woman rode up on 4 raw-bnnsd mC'e.
1t was evident thar she was from the
foothills of the Snowshce Mount G1s, ard
had made long ride She gave Us n
"Howdy" as she dismounted AMI hitched
her animal to a handy post, and then
after filling her pipe and taking three or
four vigorous whiffs, she said to the
sheriff:
MY names Wharton"
''Yes'm."
'T dom reckon yo' got my ole man In
this jai?'
Yes, Bill Wharton"
"KilIed a man over at Park HillE'
That's II. Yes, he killed a man. Il
he takin' things purity easy?'
Very easy, ma'am."
Ever say anything about me-his wife
NancyE
II never heard him mention your name.
How long since you had news Of him.
''wall, I was powerful busy at home
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

up stage on the opposition line he was
riddled with buckshot and buried along
side the road.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

"I broke the eye out of darning needle
this afternoon! am as sorry as can
be, and stand ready to"
But she was alone!
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
= ABE JEDFOT =
He Has More Schemes to Enrich the Country

fur bizness instead of sport. In other
words, make use of the power exercised.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
oBLIGING THE SCHOOL MA,AM.

A school ma'am had arrived at the
frontier town to begin her studies, and
the dozen men who saw her get out OF
the stage and enter the hotel agreed
that she was young and good looking.
Also, that she was probably nervous, and
that the boys hadn't ought to do any
shootin' on that first night and keep her
awake. The girl was at supper when
Bill Green entered the room, cap in
hand, and introduced himself and added:
''Thar's a criter in town named Joe
Goss, and I've said I'd shoot him on
sight. Bein' as 1t might disturb We, how
ever, I'll put the shootin' OF fur day
or two"
The school ma'am thanked him with
all her heart, and he withdrew, but she
had only retired in the sitting room
when Bill reappeared to say:
''Thars a duffer in town who says he
kin make me eat dirt. Hev ye any OBJ
jectshuns to my standin' up to him?"
Would there be a quarrel?" she asked.
'Sartinly, ma'am."
And shooting?'
''Of course"
Then I wish you wouldn't"
"AII right. ma'am-an right. Fur
your sake I'll let him blum me tonight,
and pop him tomorrer"'
She expressed her deep sense OF obli-
gatlOn ana ne TeIlFeu, DuI Ten minutes
later he re-entered to say:
"a galoot named Jim Wheelan has
sent me word that he kin break me in
two, and will be along purity soon to do
it. Would ye mind il lit on himT'
Would il be a fight?'
"Yes: a powerful fight"
Then / hope you won't"
"AIl right. ma ANAL right I've allus
bin a gentleman and allus hope to be-"
She thought she had seen the last of
Bill for that night, but she hadn't. She
was being shown to her room when he
met her in the hall, and anxiously said:
"Thar's a wall-eyed heathen out yere,
who needs shootin', but l won't do It to-
night on account of you. I'd Ike to AK
ye, however. II might take three drinks
at the bar?'
But you might get drunk
"Oh, nc. I'll take three drinks and
then fling my hat down and jump on It"
But no quarreling?"
mo, ma'am. I'll jump on my hat and
hoot, and some cuss will tackle me, and
III chew his ears OF and gouge his eye
out, and you won't hear sound or lose
wink of sleepi All right ma'am; all
right. I'm a gentleman and ye ar a lady,
and things shall &C on as slick as grease,
or I'll kill five or six men and know the
reason whyl"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22

this. both men felt that they were gaz-
They pushed rapidly down the "a :
ron aud came 70 another arch. more
symmetrical and u1eFe beautiful than
the first. With 3 iIghtness and gTssce ard
charm Of coloring that made il 4 Sulen
did work OF nature Long named this
the Augusta after his wIfs and man
aged to get q fair photograph The
arch was 80 nigh that the trees OF Cal
ifornia would seem dwarfed seside II
and tie men took what measurements
they could b. ciIaaDiug aud eslRging u
the canyons sides
They foEnd the Edwin. or Little
bridge. several miles down the canyon.
the arch In reality OF immense cjmen-
sIons. but small In comparison with
those that they had measured All
around these bridges are crugs and
strange formations. cave dwellings.
springs and other objects Of interest,
but the center OF attraction Is and will
always be these three towering arches
which span the White canyon.
Undoubtedly these bridges are OF
great scientific interest not alone he
cause they are so far a. known the
largest natural bridges 10 the world
but because they are extraordinary eS-
ampIes Of stream erosion. An ancient
river probably carved these great
arches. which may have been known ta
prehistoric dwellers of The desert west
New YORK Sun.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
First Of French Monarcha.

History comedies that Clovis 1. was
the real founder Of the French mon
archy. although his father. Childeric,
held some sort Of tribal rule over
part Of the country which was des-
tined TO become France. Clovis was
a progressive king and vastly extend
ed his domains during the period OF
his rule. from z81 to Sill He made
endless war on surrounding tribes
and took territory right and left By
conquest. In 1873 Clovis took Paris
by storm and thereupon that city be-
came the permanent seat OF the
French government
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
Hopeless Case.

de trouble wid rae and muh wife"
admitted old Brother Campers, am
dat, whilst We gree most O de tine,
We don't gree at &c same time. kin
gree bout anything. AID sbe kin gree
bout anything, but we KANT gree wild
each udder bout IT, When In willin'
to gree wild her she wont gree wild
ne. aud when Sc IS ready 70 gree wild
ne I've changed mua mind and KANT
gree Vid Ter. We Kin bote gree sep
arate, but We KANT gree together On
de same thing at de same time. and o.
NO ne tries de wuss We gits.''
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22

There is not much TO be said for
hawk music, yet the voice Of the for
est would lose the tcnarm of lis Wild
est note were this great bird extinct,
and It is because It is wild ard diff
ferent from sounds Of every day that
we love II. Then, as a picture seen
from afar. the forest would never be
complete without these birds Of tire
less wing hanging over il, and reign
ing upoD their thrones Of air.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
Home Of the Lima Bean.

About half the lima bean crop IN
the world IS produced by a coastwise
strip Of California, including Santa
Barbara, Ventura, Los Angeles, or
ange and san Diego counties. Pecu-
liar climatic conditions are required.
and the only other section where the
bean has been grown successfully IS
the island of Madagascar. OF the east
coast Of Africa. England takes the
entire island output
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
The Crowded Way.

THE late General Booth" said Sal
walton ARMY captain Of Philadelphia.
used to admit freely that the bad man
bad more fun-at least while carrying
On his badness-than the good man.
.Strokiug his white beard. be put the
matter IN neat epigram one night In
New YORK
They say the way Of the trans
gressor Is hard be said. AT any rate
Ii certainly isn't lonely"
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
Rabat Ruas and carpets.

The best carpets are made at Rabat
and have some similarity IN appear
ance 70 Smyrna rugs but II the for
mer the woof and warp are OF a
much looser composition and OF a
somewhat lighter body The FREEDOM
mating color Of Rabat rugs Is red
and the patterns are sometimes IN
geniously geometrcaf. but the col
ors. although frequentlF exhibiting
beautiful blends are often Of more
hectic cast Than Is pleasing % the
most exaetirg Eeror4au taste.
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
coavenlent Shoe Horns

4 problem which has agttated the
feminine mind for some time has been
successfully solved a. last. a way in
which women may reach their feet IN
aided, even though CoTsetsd, comes to
relieve those who are oYerburdened
with obesity How IS this feat accom-
plished2 It's simple if one possesses
one Of tie new shoe horns which have
2 three-foot wooden handle attached
70 the horn. This novelty is imported.
and though the price may seem high,
the relief purchased with one of these
toilet accessories Is certainly worth
the price
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
Drowned In sutternllk.

Thomas Her milkman. was
drowned in 1000 gallons Of butter
milk when his wagon dropped iaro a
depression in the road and vas over
turned The tank burst and the de-
preston filed to the brink and Mr..
Her, who was caught beneath the
wreckags, was covered entirely with
the buttermilk
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
NATURAL BRIDGES.
The Biggest In the World Are In
the Utah Desert.
WONDERS or WHITE CANYON.

Three Massive Towering Arches. Ma
jsstse In Their Rugged Grandeur.
Span the Lonely, Picturesque Gorge,
Far From the Beaten Paths Of MAJ
Among the wonders of the west
which the government has taken IN
der its care are the remarkable natural
bridges Of Utah. which are. 30 far as
Ii known. without a peer. In 1905
these three bridges. the Caroline. Al
gusfa and Edwin. were set aside as ma
fi0nai monuments. and later certain
caves aud springs near By were added
10 the reserved area
IL II difficult to give an adequate
idea Of these stupendons arches. and
90 far they have been seen By few
persons. for II u a trip Of days across
the desert 70 reach them. but accurate
measurements have been taken and
convey some notion of their size and
shape The popular way Of reaching
these curiosities Is from Bluff. Utah.
where one can obtain guide and out
1t Thence you proceed through dry
washes. old stream beds and sage GOV
cred mesas TO the great bridges. hicb
loom up In White canyon far from the
beaten path Of man
The White canyon itself Is many
miles long. and the bridges spring
from its steep. light bun walls. the
three being within distance of five
miles They seem carved By Titanic
forces. for the largest is 222 feet high
and - feet thick at the top Of the
arch. The arch il - feet wide. The
span Is 2sl feet. and the height OF the
Span il 157 feet.
! he Natural bridge of Virginia Is Il
baby 10 comparison With any Of the
three Utah formations 1t II to be re-
GREETED that these wonderful bridges
are not easier Of access. Figures give
little idea Of their immenslty. and
words but suggest their beauty
The first account Of them given TO
the world WAS that Of Horace j. Long.
who visited tie bridges IN 1893. Long
was al engineer aud prospecting in
Utah. One day lie fell ia with a cattle
man named SsoFup. who was familiar
with Utah and - pa .tieuiar with the
region lying around tie SIN Juan river
Seorup. after some preliminary con
vefsatIDa. said hat be had seen some
remarkable bridges % immsnse anC
wonderful that he disbked 10 talk about
them for fear ne would be accused 81
manufacturing The story tie added
that shou2h - bard seen them IN 1877
be bad always desired to 20 back ans
IT Long would accompany him aud tax
phoiegfapi4s Sc would guarantee 4
guide the engineer 10 the place
Accordingly the tvo men set out wiz
pack horses and provisions. and afte
a lonely trip through deserts an
canyons and wide stretches where p
animal WAS 80 be seen thes descende
into the gorge 0f the White canyon. "a
sides " which are led with deserte
eil1 dwellings Two days later the
came 20 tue wonderful bridges, the iirs
81 WATCH. ~ pink sandstone. scoFu
called Caroline IN honor Of his mothe
Long was fairly dazed at the beaut
and size o. this natural wonder III
pink walls were streaked with delica
cosored iiehens aud stood out Ia 10
relief against q sax 81 blue. More thu
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
CONDITION
Of CANAL
DEPLORABLE
BOATS ARE UNABLE TO USE
THE Unfinished WATERWAY
SHIPPING is DAMAGED AND PEo-
PIE ARE DEMANDING SOME &C
TON BE TAKEN BY STATE Or
FIcIALS.

Complaints have been made TO the
governor and many others both in
and out OF the service OF the state
about the condition OF the Florida
East Coast canal ever since the com
pany owning the same was paid for
the work which was never completed
Transportation people have entered
numerous complaints, but up 10 date
the conditions in the canal have Ell
Their remained unchanged or have be-
come worse.
The following IS quoted from
Palm Beach paper:
That the unfinished canal Is driv-
ing people from this community has
been readily shown the past week.
Sunday the Dixie left the dock
bound for Jupiter = some going for
pleasure and few for business. All
went well until a couple OF miles up
the canal-and there was found the
magnificent houseboat. the largest
ever endeaVoring to enter Lake
Worth, firmly imbedded in the mud.
Captains Merchant and Rowley
were there as they had been for two
or three days-working steadily to
/ try and move the boat but record
Of 20 feet in one day seems TO be
{ the best made. The boat is the Sol
urian'-the richest and most perfect
ocean going houseboat ever seen
here. 1t belongs to W. C. Weather
/ by. senior member OF the Weather
FISHERMAN iron foundry, at Port
Henry, New York.
The owner understood that the ca
pacity OF the canal vas completed &C
cording TO Specifications, six feet deep
and 50 feet wide; and as his
boat draws but four feet four he
had no fear. But when he found less
than four feet Of water and less than
30 foot width he was greatly disap-
pointed.
THE Dixie was forced to return
pay back the passage money-and
have spoiled trip. Not only that.
but some fine boats were following
the Silurian, intending TO stop here
several weeks; but when the owners
saw conditions they backed up the
canal, turned about, and went the
outside route TO Miami The big boat
has about a mile and half Of mud
to pull through before it can find foul
L1IE
er is not only paying his crew Of 3
score of men but a lot Of extra men
as well.
Citizens Of West Palm Beach have
a strong cry coming coming Just
". 1t is to be hoped Mr.. Weatherby
will commence a damage suit agains
the state, or the responsible party
He certainly has good grounds foI
complaint and the people of palm
! Beach county would esteem It IA
vor Il ne would do it,
The condition Of the canal is mos
deplorable- and the fact that the ere
ating company has been paid an enc
nous sum By the state for an undu
) ished piece Of work reflects d sorr
; condition upon Florida. No effort
5eina made to protect the waterWa.
nor is precautionary advice give
those whose boats draw a foot o
} more Of water.
Much talk has been created ore
, fraudulent land companies-but frau
ulent water companies now have th
blue ribbon and the penochIe pre-. 20
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22

FOR SALE r. One Columbia. two
speed coas. Ter brake Bicycle, aIth spring
forks and cushion frame. speedometer
Pearson 8 large saddle and electric head
iieht Only rode 500 miles cost Sly 100.
~1lt sell tor s4S cash. Ia first class
order great bargain; reasons Tor selling.
DO not ~ish 70 take north. Address
I. y. Harmon, Hotel Clarendon. it's
The Daytona daily news. [volume] (Daytona, Fla.) 1903-1926, 1913-02-22
Mixed.

The Caller (who has been looking
over her hostess pooks}-Do you en-
joy Marcus Aurehus? The Hostess
DELAYED by her toilet and little
fiustrated) oh, yes. where is lie nov?
The last time | saw him he was in
The Sign Of the Cross Such q man
~ figure, wasn't he?-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer