Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-17
Tells His Friend HennesSy That
the CampaignerS Are Going
at 1t the Wrong Way

dl III llie wrong way
"oi see be tn papers. said Mr..
Dooley 10 Mr.. Hennessy, that there
do be turriblc foight over IN bill
boards. Say, IIinncssy. phwat do you
think ay this campaign Of me noos-
PAPER fr.rind tn Advertiser and thol
Kill All Honnrr'? DO We behave they
will free this one-toine beyutiful city
rom tie bowling calamity thOt they
GO be sayin' viii oyertake it?"
We'll, Dooley, | Ginnaw. | ueed TO
think IN me own mind that III bill
Lizards were nicissary part az our
highly-Civiloized lCife and a great
hip 10! III man thot didn't have toime
10 sturdy out or read tn daily papers
and learn phwat was the hist goods TO
buy or sthroes To trade wild. Our old
irind, Walter e. luck. wild him, used
TO say thot they were the poor mans
ART gallery and also helped to hoidc
the dirthy yards thot were litthered
wid tin cans and the loike, and SO
were great hip to amy city"
All, yis, Oh know, but Hinnissy,
You must be ashlape and not yit wax
ened up to tn fact thot this age is
outgrowing its mataryialsm and is
now gettin' to tn artisthie age and
eVerythin' must c1nfor-rm to thot.
Th' loidies thos move in tn
shmart sit are gettin toired av these
bridge clubs and pink tags and violer
rayciptions and how awakened to tn
TACT thot they how grand new mis-
shun in loife. An. We shud notice.
Hinissy, tn Adver-rtiser.r at tn same
tonne wakened TO tn fact thot it's in
come was gitin' shmaller and if il
was goin' TO thry and kape up wild tn
procession IL must git some few NV
tn shekels thot me other frind, Char
lie Frazier, was scoopin' continuous
into his pockits. So me poiper frind
Jlnes bonds wild the loidics and said
Here's where OF make a tin-sthrike.
Cfll show tn leidies Dim filled wild
gran public spirit and take off me
coat and wark shoulder to shoulder
wild thin. kape their courage up,
boost thin along, and whin we how
cleared tn town av these turrible
monsthrosities. why, Oil git me
share and little more of tn credit
an thin all tn loidies will make their
husban's advertise in tn 'Tiser an
thin all Oh how to do will be to sit
back and laugh and gr-row fat IT'S
foine prospecth' Oh, Oh don't say
thot was tn only motive back of tn
Advertiser, for We all know that Lor-
rim Andrews is foine, public-spirited
mon,, an Oh wish we had more loike
i'm, bue he is safely too busy gittin'
tn Hilo railroad and Olaa sugar COON
pany out ay hole to give tn tonne
10 tn poiper thot it nades. Robbie
Matheson means well, Oh ralely think.
H1npissy, but sittin' cooped up in his
offs iviry noight till the wee shma
hours and the last carr OF do be
thinkin' oRobbie's liver gifts torpid
iviry vance in awhoile, the same ac-
countin' for his fool breaks iviry so
ahften an his giniral disinclination
10 knock instid av boost things in
this town. So hatchery, Hinnissy.
whin he sees somethin' thot he can't
git away from, phwy he isn't in his
llimint an can't hip knockin'. IT'S
az clear as tn nose on me face. So
you'll notice, Hinnissy, thot iviry
tonne he gifts bilyus attakt il there's
nothin' ilse in sight me Robbie frind
sails into tn auld billboar-rds agin.
But. Hinnissy. since tn ladies
want TO do somethin foine for This
town, and set us all good example.
why don't they shtart right and play
tn game so we can all play with
them? Oi wouldn't want a billboard
oppisite me own house, Oil admit.
but faith, IIinnissy, If OF cant fight
shquare wild me neighbor il he don't
treat me right, Oh would rather not
fight than how to shneak up behind
his back or hit him below the biIt
line. An you know thot it what
shtrikes me all these ladies be doin'?
Boycotting the feliies phwat .adyer-
Use on tn billboards, using coercion.
they call it, WHEREVER they can sure.
Hinnissy, Oi thought those unfair
games nad hecn ruled out of daycent