The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-08-06
And They Buried Him in a
Blanket in a Field.
HE MADE The ROUNDS
Did the Late Lamented Today
and Bored All He Met.
And His Fate Found Him in
the Sunshine.

story is the perpetual summer bore,
the benighted dub who agitates his
sweaty friends with the sickly inquiry,
Say! Is this hot enough for you?"
He has been sung in verse and song
and story; his requiem should have
been chanted long ago: but he still
exists. He sailed forth the other morn
ing through the streets of Topeka. He
visited state house, city hall, and court
room. He made his moan and mopped
his brow and was received in the fol-
lowing manner.
He dropped from his car at Eighth
and Kansas avenue and limped up to
a newspaper office. where he sought
sympathy.
''Sa-ay,'' he drawled to the narrowed
reporters in the local room, lis this
hot enough for you?"
Get out said the editor. GROSSLY.
I'VE have soul above weather, What's
the matter with you?"
Hot" echoed one of the force who
had a less elevated soul. Yes, it's
hot You can't keep cool. Went to
sleep last night under an electric fan.
All it did was kick up d mess of hot
air. The sleeping porch was like
telephone booth-vapor bath and all
that sort of thing / went down on
the grass and let the bugs crawl over
me. Dog chased a cat across me. Ohs
it's a sweet life. Why the deuce does
anyone live in Kansas
The bore hooked his arm in that of
the limp reporter and marched him ap-
provingly down the hall. It's too hot
to work. he confided, guess I'll drop
down the street and see how they're
standing the sun at the city building.
The bore found the commission in the
council room discussing tax levies and
sanitary collection of garbage. Say"
he began, lis this -''
Yes responded one of the commits
sioners, .'it is. That's all there is to
it. I've got a camp and a red car,
but I can't forget the thermometer
Sure it's hot"
The mayor, who was waving a big
fan, gazed at the bore without under
standing. The commission refused to
say anything more about the weather,
and the bore. who wouldn't talk or
anything else, struggled downstairs.
He hugged the shady side of the
street and dropped in at a drug store
for a drink which made him so i'll he
was obliged to sink down in front of
the Cremerie and recuperate. He tried
to plan how he could get along with
less clothes than he was wearing. The
more he thought of his clothes, the
warmer he grew. He wished he had
lived in the Garden of Eden and dress
of the tropics, and swore they weren't
any hotter than Kansas avenue on the
morning of Wednesday, August 6. He
worked himself into & perfect agony
of sympathy He thought he would
drop in on Mr.. Frosty Flora" but
hadn't the moral strength to hear the
crisp. NO hope in sight" and kept
on in the direction of the court house.
.-Well,'' he mumbled to everyone he
met, lis this hot enough for you?''
Yep" said the county clerk. its
too hot to live and it's too hot to
die
What" mumbIed the bore. lis the
use of working?''
Got to- said the county clerk. and
the bore went on He took the eleva-
tor to the second floor and wandered
into the office of a district judge, who
didn't look glad to see him
Hear you're going to Colorado to
get COOL" he began, enviously.
NO, sir" corrected the judge. I'm
going out to see my boys. What's the
use of worrying about the weather?
I've been pitching hay in the sun
shine. Kansas beats Colorado any
day"
The bore couldn't stand this phil
osophy. and left He strolled into the
city court Hot. isn't II" he
are you fellows working in August?"
''Murderers and perjurers and dis
turbers of the peace are SO inconsid-
crate murmured the judge, who was
writing busiIy, they will operate in
the good old summer time
That's so,'' said the bore, mourn |
fully.
He decided to seek a cool room on
the shady side of the state house. He
wished he would meet a friend who |
would give him a lift in a machine. |
But his friends chugged past him. He
decided to take car. Only four
blocks to the state house. Neverthe-
Sixth street. No car in sight. He
had to wait in the sum- He cursed |
the street car service and the pitiless
heavens. He grew hotter every min |
ute. He had to wade through the dust |
TO board the car, and had to take 4 /
seat on the sunny side
Awful hot, isn't it?" he gasped to I
a. small girl WHO occupied a few
inches in the sunniest portion of his |
seat
The small girl crossed her white |
pumps and folded her hands She !
cooked her curls, decorated with a |
Helen pink bow. on one side, and re- |
garded her travelling companion with |
apparent disfavor.
Mother" she said. won't let US |
talk about the weather She says it's !
a very stupid thing to do"
The bore almost snorted in indigna-
ton. He reasoned that the younger
was quite as pert as the |
magazines reported it to be. He de-
Jackson. glared at the Sweltering |
stretch between him and his destnia- |
ton. and debated the feasibility of go
ing home for his um brella before at |
tempting it. He almost prayed that |
a cloud would drift over the sun for |