davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting Az
dcpartmentsl, Main 1900.
But we will draw the curtain, ant
show you the picture.
Twelfth Night
The New Haven Wreck

Another score and more have been
added to the death toll of the New
Haven. Tuesdays disaster inaugur-
ated the administration of Howard
Elliott, who succeeds Charles S. Mel
len, forced from the presidency of the
road by public opinion.
AS was to be expected, this last
wreck has renewed agitation OF laws
to compel the railroads of the coun-
try to equip all trains with automatic
stops. Representative Levy of New
York has introduced bill in the
House to this effect. Representative
Britten of Illinois is the author OF a
resolution setting forth the fact that
a total of 469 persons have been killed
or injured on the New York, New
Haven and Hartford within the past
two years, and instructing the inter-
state commerce commission to make
an immediate inquiry into the cause OF
the latest disaster and recommend
remedial legislation. The commission
has already begun its probe.
1t cannot be denied that Americas
railroad casualties are abnormal.
Something or somebody is to blame.
The installation of automatic stops
would go far to put an end to wrecks.
But it would cost a tremendous sum
of money, and where is that money to
come from?
Already the railroads are complain
ing that their profits are entirely too
small for the amount of money in
vested. They contend that freight
rates have been cut to such an extent
that railroad stocks and bonds are no
longer attractive to the man who has
capital to invest. Should they be re-
quired to make this additional outlay
the result might prove disastrous.
The only solution of the difficulty
seems authorization to increase the
charges for transportation. Confisca-
ton of the carriers should be approved
by none.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enonirer

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
Every time the devil has an off day
he starts reform movement and creates
a new flock of hypocritss.
You can get used to anything. The
longer you are married the less it worries
you.
A debtor and creditor never figure in
terest the same way.
The high cost of living is often caused
by the cost OF high living.
A man always likes to add few years
to his age so he can Erag about how old
he is. But 1t is different with woman.
A married woman is filled with synlpa-
thy for some other woman's husband VINO
has to lead a dogs life. But that's just
what the other woman is thinking about
the first woman's husband.
A man always knows where he got his
headache. but a woman doesn't
Every now and then you see woman
who makes you grin when you remember
that she belongs to the weaker SEX.
A woman will rave over a green baby
that looks like a red monkey but a man
will grin foolishly and admit that it
has fine head.
Every man knows that there amt no
Santa Claus. But you can always sch
him mining stock.
When a girl with a rosebud mouth has
been eating onions you forget all about
the roses.
Labor Day is usually one of the best
alcohol.lays on the list.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
The Rising Markets

In one month the condition of the
cotton crop fell flo la per cent, and
August 25 was only 68.2 per cent Of
normal. A yield of not more than 49,
100000 bales is now indicated. This
has resulted in sharp rise in the
price of the staple.
Weather conditions are responsible
for the the deterioration of the cotton
crop. The prolonged drouth has had
its effect, and prospects for heavy
yield are not near so roseate as they
were a month ago. Alabama is faring
a little better than the average, the
condition for this state being placed
at 72, while Texas has suffered most,
the condition there being estimated at
only 90.
The markets for corn and wheat are
also showing activity with a rising
tendency largely in evidence. The dry
weather has had its effect upon these
crops. One factor that has caused the
price of wheat to advance is the out
look for poor yields in Europe. France
for the third year in succession will
show disappointing harvest. Europe
will be compelled to call upon Ameri-
ca for bread, and this will bring about
high prices.
Despite the prolonged spell of dry
weather, however, the crops of the
country as a whole are far from dis
couraging. The financial condition of
the farmers this fall and winter
should be better than it has been in
many years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

gress. At the forthcoming meeting a
number of men of national reputa-
ton will discuss various phases Of
Alabama's resources.
Most of the southern states are rich
by nature but it is safe to assert that
Alabama leads. Not only is cotton
great money crop in this state but
corn and alfalfa and the trucking
crops can be made equally profitable.
Many movements have been started to
uplift the farmer but the Alabama
Land congress is arousing more in
terest than any similar organization
attempted in former years. This con-
gress will be largely attended and
while it is primarily in the interest of
agriculture, values of all sorts will
be promoted by it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Bris,s Fall Ba.iness

Fall trade Is starting off we'll and
business in all directions seems to be in
good condition. said f. T. Eldridge OF
Rochester, ". Y.
A few months ago there was a feel
ing of depression in financial circles but
that has passed away. The outlook for
the next few months is exceptionally
bright.
Il voted the democratic ticket last No
Fember and am more than pleased with
Pre- sident Wilson's administration. The
republicans predicted that business would
be ruined if the democrats had the ex-
ecutive office and 54oth houses of Con-
gress, but everything is turning out all
right. ! believe the revised tariff will
prove to be extremely popular with the
people of this country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
DON'T WORRY
rom the Kansas city star.

From the Kansas City Star
Don't worry was the recipe for long
life recently given by an aged physician
who had preserved his youth.
Good advice, but impractical" you say.
But did you ever give it a real trial?
A person can't stop worrying merely by
saying, go to. now / am not going to
worry any more The more he thinks
about stopping the more impossible it is
to stop.
There is a way, though Don't con-
sciousy try to stop worrying, but get in
terested in something else.
If you have something to worry about
and give yourself the opportunity, you
will do a lot of worrying. But if you Keep
busy you won't give worry a chance.
When a great sorrow comes a person
MAY simply abandon himself to it by let
ting his other interests lag. But by look
ing about for something to absorb his
attention he can put himself in whole-
some frame of mind
Worry can be fought the same way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
coNvICTs GUARD THEMSELVES

From the Wide World Magazine.
Three years ago the authorities of the
province of Ontaria cautiously commenced
to reverse system that had been in OPP
GRAFTON wit hlittle variation for about 20
centuries. They took 400 men from be-
hind the high walls and steel bars of
the Central prison, Toronto, and placed
them on a farm, where their words of
honor were the only bastions and a
common sense notion of ''co-operation"
their only lock and key. The authorities
moved with care they did not choose
desperate criminals for such unparalleled
leniency or dynamitards. Many of them,
however are practiced burglars, forgers.
pickpockets, and the like, and about 80
per cent of them are the products of
drink.
This experiment has been successful al
most beyond belief. -Four hundred con-
victed men, mostly young live the year
round 1900 acres of farm land, with
no more repression or surveillance than
Canadian prairie DO they escape? Four
in three years. out of transient popula-
ton of perhaps 1900 But does not the
system make prison life so attractive as
to place a premium on crime?" asks the
sceptic. So far Is this from being the
frepeaters come back for further sem
tences to the prison farm. as is the case
with the old fashioned jails.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
yiscount HaIdanc

'Niscount Haldane, who was the guest
Of the American Bar association at it's
annual meeting in Montreal this week,
is not only regarded as an able lawyer,
but he is one of the most accomplished
scholars in Great Britain said man
who takes an interest in public men and
affairs.
He was Secretary of War for several
years and was created a peer only two
years ago. He recently succeeded Earl
Loreburn as lord high chancellor. While
a member of the House of Commons Hal
dane was looked upon as frst-class
authority on parliamentary law. He also
displayed great executive ability at the
head of the war office, and outside of
politics he has long shone as man of
letters
Lord Haldane was educated at Edin-
burg and Gottingen universities. He won
first class honors in philosophy at Edin-
burg and has honorary degrees from
nearly all the universities in Great Britain,
He was Clifford lecturer at st. Andrews
University in 1924. Among his degrees
is that of doctor of canon law, Oxford.
His publications include, Essays and
Philosophical Criticisms; Life of Adam
Smith, Education and Empire, and
translation with Mr.. Kemp of Schopen-
!auers World as VIII and Idea, three
volumes.
'The British lord chancellor presides
over the House of Lords He starts as
commoner and is selected by the party
in power for his parliamentary skill and
attachments in law. AS lord chancellor,
Lord IIal1ane is the representative of
the liberal government in the House of
LORDS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
EASTERN SHEPHERDS
rom the Wide World Magazine


The shepherds of the east-those to be
found in such countries as Palestine
Arabia and Persia-differ entirely from
their brethren of the west. They are a
class apart; even their dress is unlike that
of the peasants of the land in which they
live. Their shoes are of the toughest de-
scription, almost circular in appearance
They wear an outer garment of bright
colors, woven from camel's hair and with
out seams Being square and sleeveless,
this garment fits any size of man, hang
ing in picturesque folds from the shoul-
ders. A kerchief for the head, tied in
two black rings of rope and wool, COM
pletes the outfit. In the winter, however,
the eastern shepherd takes an undressed
fleece. which he girds about his loins, when
he appears more than ever like men,
Der Of his own flock. Unlike the shep-
herds of the west, these men lead their
fiocks this custom having arisen through
the absence Of roads and sheep dogs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
Indicates Population

The business done ON Morris avenue,
a part of the wholesale center of Bir-
mngham, is very reliable barometer as
to the population Of the city said busi-
ness man yesterday. TRADE this sum-
mer has increased about 40 per cent, ac-
coroing to reliable figures, and this in
dicates that there has been correspond
ing increase in the population of the city.
Some OF the merchants reported In
creases of 60 per cent, but the average
will be about 40 per cent. Now it Is plain
that the people in Birmingham did not
cat more this summer than they did last,
therefore 1t follows that there must have
been more people here to eat it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
Checking of Speed Maniacs

However much we may desire to CO.
operate with the officers in the checking
of the 'speedomaniacs, it is utterly i'm
possible to do so In most cases." said
a public spirited citizen
"a few nights ago / walked up Twen-
tieth street hill, and a motorcycle passed
me, going 80 miles an hour, wide open
and popping like a cavalry charge with
carbines; in fact it reminded me very
mich of the only one I ever heard dur
ing the last days of the war. | could
get no sight of the license number, but
watched the speeder, until lost to view,
far down the street.
Later | returned by the same route
speed of at least 40 miles an hour. The
car was changed in its course about two
feet, and it swung wide, so great was its
sreed. The driver made this change, bare
Is missing negro woman who was cross
lug the street at Avenue G. I tried to get
the number. but there was just a flash
and whirr, and the speedomaniac kept
his pace as far as | could see, towards
the railroad crossings.
Here is a suggestion for checking these
automobile and motorcycle devils: Have
cross drains, say inches across the top,
cut at each street crossing in the sur
face of the roadway, and at two points on
the grade of Twentieth street. These
will force the reckless drivers to check
up, so that their numbers may be taken.
AT least, twill put punctuation in the
rrchecled fast driving as now all too COM
mon. and 1t may cause punctures of tires;
then, too, It may cause punctures of the
craniums of those who disregard these
checks in me roadway"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

q Perhaps former President Mellen of the
New York, New Haven and Hartford
railroad is comforted by the reflection
that the blame for the latest wreck hor-
ror on that ill-starred road cannot be laid
at his door.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

If it is really true that King Alfonso
fled from England to avoid kissing his
mother-in-law, it must be equally true
that the bravest of the brave have their
moments of cowardice
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Representative Levy of New York saws
the prosecution of the Steel trust is cost
ing the government $40 a minute and
urges that the suit be dismissed. The
Steel trust in Birmingham has never ds.
veloped grasping tendencies and the Bir-
mingham public believes it to be good
trust"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Sometimes we wish that Paul Chebeas
had not created September Morn, espe-
oially after every alleged humorist in the
country has had his fling at it. But
when we observe the masterpiece, View
ing With Alarm" becomes a lost art.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
.GooDNfGHT AND GooD-pY,
Frank L. Stanton, in the Atlanta Coz
stftution.

StuutlcH.
l.
Sweetheart. the sunlight fades fast from
the sky:
Goodnight and good-by!
Memory is left in Life's shadows to sigh:
Goodnight and good-hyi
Sorrow is now the one
Voice in the Night iN.
Over the wild dreams that whispered
Delight"
But sweet is Loves face, dear, though
tears dim the sight:
Goodnight and good-by,
sfl 1r H..
Sweetheart cross unto all lives Is
given:
Goodnight and goodSby!
But tears from Loves eyes ar, as holy
as heaven:
Goodnight and good-by!
Joy has been with us. and still tbs light
streams
From a Star all ENTHUSIASTICALLY beau
tiful btams;
love you forever-f Kiss you in Irean,s;
Goodnight and good-by!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
MouE ABOUT THAT TRAIN

George Fitch. the Illinois funny man,
is writing a series Of Homeburg sketches
for the American Magazine. In the Sep
of the All train in Homeburg. The fol-
lowing is an extract:
"It's the town pastime. we all do it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Philadelphia is to choose nine munich
dates in the field. A police court judge
ship is almost as much sought after as
a postmastership.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

The mayor of ST. Joseph. NO., has won
recall. But what's the use of the people
having a political playthng unless they
play with il occasionally?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
A sUBTERFUGE.

One time there was a druggist who
Did not sell soda water
He very rarely had a call
From anybody's daughter.
Maids bought their paint and powder, too,
From rivals down the street;
The fount, You see, was their excuse
Whene'er they chanced to meet
Young men to whom they did not wish .
Their secrets to be known,
Particularly that the bloom
They wore was not their own.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Governor Colquitt of Texas says his
friends spent $4,000 and he spent $1,000 10
elect him. But that's no reason why he
should want to whip Mexico.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
pROpLEM ron yARpEMAN

From the Louisville Courier Journal
Jack Johnson, who is sojourning in Lon-
don, is quoted as saying that he has many
American friends, but hopes to meet them
in heaven. Mr.. yardaman of Mississippi
will now tliinlt twice before saying his
prayers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

A vaudeville performer denies that a
ragtime tune was played at his wedding.
He can still further discount that story
by staying married.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
o'ERcoME.

"0h, yes, can drink or let 1t alone"
Was Tupper's remark.
That night in his face cops lantern
shone--
He woke in the park.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
4 SMALL BOYS PLIGHT.

The call to school makes Willie sad,
lie thinks about the fun he's had
Those leafy eoverts cool and dim,
The stream in which he used to swim.
The country lanes that lured his feet
When idle days made life so sweet.
And then a shadow glooms his face.
No more he'll leap and run and race
As free as any bird of air,
His heart a stranger to all care
Now readin writin'. rithmetic
Must be his lot, his teachers quick
And rowing eye his nemesis
Could any fate be worse than this?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

one cf the wreck victims on the New
York, New Haven and Hartford railroad
a union suit, which, to say the least, is
not at all specific.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

If Mr.. Lind's travels are continued II
should not be long before he knows every
way station between Vera Cruz and Mex-
leo City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Five hundred men are to be added to
the police force in New York. But this
does not mean that the graft in future
will be subjected to longer division.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
A Pertinent Comparison

The Wall Street Journal in brief
edit orial under the caption "A Pertinent
Comparison shows that the cotton re-
ceipts of Memphis from September ], 1872
to August %, 1913, were S20.214 bales and
that the Nashville receipts for the same
period were 1858 bales said a member of
the Chamber OF Commerce. 1T stresses
the fact that the reported allotment by
the United States treasury of 100000 to
Memphis for moving the crop will av-
era ge about IS cents bale while the
same amount to Nashville will be $50.
Secretary McAdoo has commended him
self strongly to the public. He is recog-
niezd as a great Secretary of the Treas
ury. Most people regardless of party
are disposed to indorse whatever he does
in his official capacity, but there was
some little comment on his generous treat
ment Of Tennessee banks, out of proper
ton to the crop moving requirements"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

III Mr.. Carnegie is SO rampant for peace
why doesn't he offer to pension Huerta ?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Uncle Joe will will run for k,ono,a-s
again. The old guard dies, but never sur
renders
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Queen Wihelmina gave Andrew Car
negie medal and the glad hand. Who
could ask for more?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

The Tammany tiger will not lose
enough fur in the present disturbance to
feel the cold blast next winter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
A LOW MUTTERING.

Father has retired to his den. That's
the only place in the house where he can
do any talking
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

6 Just why Harry Thaw prefers the
sherbrooke Jail to Matteawan is hard TO
understand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Human beings are bought and sold in
the Philippines. Horrible, isn't it? Base
ball players are bought and sold in this
country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

so far Colonel Mulhall has, not been Of
fered chautauqua contract.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

All, cheer up, boysi Thanksgiving
comes soon after school opens. Think
of the accompanying turkey and cram
berres
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

1t appears that the Canadian brand of
justice is not SO clear and lucid al many
people have heretofore supposed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

John Armstrong Chaloner of Virginia
condoles with Harry Thaw. His most
famous remark Is, who's loony now?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
DEFINED.

PA, what is a misogynst?"
"a mlsogynist son, is a man who would
rather stay out in the rain than seek
shelter where there is a woman"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
HOW BASEBALL DRAWS

Mr.. Hearst is the man who put The
con to fusion in New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
Ambassador walter H. page

"The London Times and other London
rapers give Walter Hines Page, the Uni
ted States ambassador the title of Doctor
but think the scribes have got him mixed
with Thomas Nelson Page" said a man
who has a personal acquaintance with
both ambassadors.
''Thomas Nelson Page was recently ap-
pointed ambassador TO the King of Italy.
1 was living in Virginia when he was
made Lift. d, or doctor of letters, at
Washington and Lee. 1t was in the year
1874. The degree was little known at that
time. In the same year it was conferred
on the Rev DR.. Lafferty, prominent
Methodist minister and editor. and on
W atson James, a well known and brilliant
newspaper man of Richmond: Yale con-
ferred LID. on Tom Page in 1901.
.1f Walter Hines Page, who is a man
of letters as we'll as Thomas Nelson
Page. is embellished with doctorate /
have never heard of it. He Is a man of
very marked ability and seems to be maxi
ing good as ambassador, but his title in
London should be simply Mr.. Page
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
A PERMANENT SITUATION.


DO you remember that profligate young
Tewlssley who used to live here?"
'Oh, yes. He used 10 say he wouldn't
go to work until he found his life work"
'Well he's found it."
Whats he doing now?"
Hes working in the shoe factory Of
the state penitentiary under a life sem
tence."
NOTHING SMALL ABOUT HIM.
"A good fellow. eh?"
you bet he is! Why. he'll buy seven
loafers a round of drinks any day, no
matter how badly his children need
Shoes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
ITO whom does he talk %
WHY. he talks to himself.
FATHER.

The time has come for father dear
To hand out stacks of shelels
That sister Ann may scorch her ear
And deck her nose with freclSles.
youngstown Telegram.
me time has come for father dear
10 be real good and kind.
While wife dear vacationates
He has to stay behind.
Grand Rapids Press.
The time has come Tor father dear
To move the world to pity;
Just as his ante's drawing near
He has to feed the kitty
Houston Post.
The time has come for father dear
To feel great perturbation;
Mas coming back. the house torn up
VIII need an explanation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Thaw seems to have no Kick ON the
laws delay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
NARROW.

you don't live within your income"
Good heavens, II l lived within my in
come I couldn't breathe"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04
EASY EXIT.

Fathers in the library. Speak TO him
there, Arthur" =
I'm glad he's in the library, darling"
why so?'
''The windows are wide and close to the
ground"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-04

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.
postoffiee as second class matter undor
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-05-29
Lesson of Floods.

With becoming awe at what seems
to have been unpreventable, It ia
sadly appropriate to inquire what
might have been done in past years
to lessen the recurrent tragedy of the
western flood. To be sure, one can.
not by a gesture bid the tempest
stand. but nothing is more demon
strable than that the greed and neg
lect of man have greatly contributed
to the destructiveness of floods. The
devastation of the ak leads direct to
the devastation of the waters. The
excessive decreasing of Ohio and In
diana for a hundred years is no ilIu,
sorry or negligible factor In the crisis
Of death and desolation that has fall.
en- upon those states. After
we have reckoned up the cost OF the
recent floods In lives and money,
shall we lie down again to pleasant
dreams. oblivious OF the fact that 70
SOW neglect is to reap calamity ED
itorial in Century.