davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01
A LETTER TO CHINA.
To the Republic of China,

To the Republic of China,
Dear Old Fixin:-l hope you
will pardon the liberty | take IN
addressing these few lines to your
honorable muchness. I have had
my thinkeratus playfully ponder
ing over your personal and poll
tical prospects for at least
month, and [ can't sleep good
until I tell you a few things.
Ihave been hearing an awful
loud silence which followed di-
rectly ON the heels of your official
recognition by the Benighted
States of America. It was very
kind of Mr.. Wilson to be the first
one to stand up in meetin' and
announce that he had confidence
in your good intentions. He pro-
badly expected the other national
nabobs to fall over themselves IN
their mad haste to follow his
example. But after waiting a
month or so it begins to look like
the other nations amt as eager to
follow Mr.. Wilson as he thought
they would be. Since the govern
mental teeth at Washington bit
off the last word of that brother
ly boost, I amt heard anything
that sounded like an immitation
of the same.
Now, therefore, in order tc
break the painful silence, and te
set at ease both you and the Be-
nighted States of America, have
finally decided that / might AZ
we'll be the next great power tx
officially recognize your new Re
public. I called an extra session o:
myself and appointed myself as {
committee to find out what ]
thought about it. After long de
liberation the committee ha!
brought in a favorable report
which I herewith transmit to yo,
with my best wishes.
l sincerely hope, my dear Chi
Ma, that you will make a success
in the Republic business, but
would not advise you to plant .
very big crop of Republicans, a.
they are not doing we'll this sea
son. think the stock has abou
run out. The same thing.is true o
the Democrats. If you decide t.
raise any Republicans and Dem
ocrats over there, hope you Cal
get a better variety than we hav,
in America.
I understand that your men ar
beginning to put on breeches, bile,
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01

shirts and stud-hoss collars. | am
listening any day for an epidemic
of American plug hats and jim
swlnger coats to break out in
China, which will gradually open
a new market for our American
Sunday religion and everyday
cuss-words.
Speaking Of religion brings to
mind another thought. | see by
the papers that you have officially
placed an order for a wholesale
job-lot consignment Of American
prayers for the material and
spiritual welfare of your new
Republic. Now, China, that is
ample evidence of your honest de-
sire to be good, and it also proves
that you don't know much about
the general cussedness Of our
people. Calling on us American
hypocrites for prayer is sorter
like sending to hades after a jug
of ice water. Now if you had
called for a political speech or a
blood and thunder novel, a case
of cigarettes or barrel of booze,
an army Of dudes or a carload Of
ragged babies, you would have
had no trouble in getting your
wants supplied. But I'm afraic
you'll have to hold your sack fol-
prayers a good while before yor
get it filled.
Good-day, China-I can't foo
with you any more this time. Be-
sure and don't put your breeche'
on wrong side before, and re
member that the shirt-tail goe'
inside. Save up all the pig-tail
that are sacrificed on the altar O.
progress and send them over here
to make rats and switches for ou
American women. Give my re
CARDS to the president, say you
prayers and keep your nose wiped
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01

A mighty good preacher sort of
a Teller got hold of The Fool-Killer
some time ago and liked it so
we'll that he Topped right down
and writ me a letter enclosing the
kale seed for a years subscrip-
ton, but in his letter he took
occasion to say that I use some
words that he don't like to read.
Then what in the thunder did he
subscribe for? There is no law to
make a man read this paper if he
don't want to.
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01
BLESSED BUTTERMILK.

Some folks love their likker,
And some folks love their wine;
But let me tell you, mister,
It's butter-milk for mine.
Just bring it from the spring house,
And have it good and cold,
And you will be surprised, sir,
To see what I can hold.
In winter give me sweet milk,
And also in the spring;
But when old summer comes along,
Why, butter milk's the thing.
Hurrah for Mr.. Drug Store;
He shore do know his biz;
He's gone to selling but5er-milk
AS we'll as soda-phiz.
So in the country or in town
fare as fine as silk;
Because know just where to go
To get my butter-milk.
J. L. P.
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01
Club Rates!
In Clubs Of Five, l5c a Year.

Of
of a
State the
club-ra Do now.
THE MORAVlAN N. C,
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01
Give Poor Old Dock a Chance.

"Many eminent doctors and health
officers have expressed their opinion
that a cure for tuberculosis would be
found in this generation We hope
DIR. friedman has found it. He has
been working along the right line.
But, in the meantime, it will certainly
be the part of wisdom for the average
citizen to possess himself in patience
until some more authoritative body
than DIR. friedman and his own
medical staff can pass on this mat
ter.o
The above wad of wisdom
taken from the columns of a local
paper reflects the attitude of this
blind old world toward any man
who is really trying to help it
along.
For ages men have been trying
to find a. cure for tuberculosis,
and have mostly failed. Now
comes DR.. Friendmann with a
new discovery that he says will
do the work. But we are told that
we must not believe word of it
until it is vouched for by these
great Authoritative bodies'
who have made such glorious
fizz in trying to discover cure
themselves. They amt got sense
enough to do the thing, but they
are powerful wise when it comes
to passing judgment on the work
of their superiors. Hang take it
all, if the man who makes new
discovery is not an authority
on that subject, I would just like
to know who else would be.
The idea of letting pack OF
prejudiced wooden-heads pass
Judgment on the friedman cure
is like having a blind man treat
YOU for weak eyes, or like hiring
a hare-lipped niger to whistle.
The friedman cure may not
be worth two cents a bushel-]
am not pretending to know
blessed thing about it-but am
in favor of letting friedman
have a fair chance to prove what
he can do. If I had the tuberculal
"bugs" and friedman coulc
knock the stufing out of 'em
wouldn't care a doggon what the
great Authoritative bodies sale
about it.
The fool-killer., 1913-05-01

The average income Of some
men is about 3 A. M.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
AUTHORITY TO CHANGE
NOT WITH COMMITTEE
By-Convention of Republican Ma
tional Body to Pass Upon Basis
of Representation.

After dehberatins all day yesterday. the
law committee of the republican national
committee reached the conclusion that
power to change the basis of representa-
ton in the republican national conven-
tion does not lie with the committee, al
though the committee has power to call
an intermediate convention.
This decision means that some time
next spring a hyconvention of the repub-
lican party viii be called. in some city
yet to be chosen, to pass upon the ques-
tion of changing representation in regular
national conventions.
The law branch decided that If the ma
tional committee should decide to call a
convention the basis of representation i'll
that convention would have to be what il
has been in the past. 1t also was agreed
that the committee has no power to alter
the method of choosing delegates to fu-
ture conventions. and that it would be in
expedient to make any such change eX-
cept in accordance with state Legislative
action.
The lawyers will make d draft of call
for "a convention to be submitted to the
meeting of the committee in this city
December 16 next.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
GROWTH Or THE NATION
AS TOLD BY FIGURES
Statistical Record of Progress of
the Unieed States From
1900 to 1913.

The growth Il the United States from
sWaddlins Clothes ~ staYdN manhoo3 IS
told in a panphiut. Statistical Record
Of the Progress of the United States,
ls.p-1@i3, issued today by the Depart
ment of Commerce. Although the pam
phlet ahounds III dry figures and compli-
Gated tables. nevertheless il is regarded
poetic record of the growth and
achievement of the greatest nation of the
western hemisphere.
The area of the country in 1900 accord
ing to the statiSticianS. was approxi-
mately OJUoo square miles. while today
1t embraces more than 3.0Oo.0p. During
that time the ,.ao4.eD population has
grown TO aitsu.n10. exclusive of the peo-
PIE of the island possessions. In wealth
the proportionate of advance has more
than been maintained while trade with
the world has grown and agriculture
mining and manufacture have kept pace.
In addition to setting forth theadvance-
ment or the United States. the statlsti
clans have treated IN less detailed form
the strides made by the principal nations
with which this country has been i'll con
tact during the li3 years. All Of the in
formation contained in the pamphlet is TO
he embodied in the forthcoming edition
of the statistical Abstract OF the United
States soon to be issued by the depart
ment.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
ALONG THE RIVER FRONT.
Arrivals.

United States Army engineer service
tug Castle. from cruise over the Wash
ington engineering district: schooners
Copia, Halle X. and Winnie Windsor,
oysters in the shell from the Ragged
r,oint and Blackistones Island beds for
the market here: scow Bryant, at nth
street wharf to load oyster shells Tor the
crushing plant at Alexandria. power boat
Daisy, at Alexandria after merchandise
for PiscataWay creek points.
Departures.
Schooner Lima Cobb, light. for Ches-
apeake bay point to load: United States
Army steamer Castle for Trbanna and
Mobjack bay. Va. ar inspection trip;
barge Chaptico. light. from Georgetown
for Naujemoy creek. Va. TO load for
Philadelphia sloop Enola light, for a
down-river point to load back to this
city; schooner Martin Wagner, light, for
Colonial Beach after oysters in the shell
Tor the local market. schooner Halle k.,
light. for Blackistones Island to load
back to this city; schooner Orbit. light,
for Alexandria en- route to Potomac
point to load back TO this port; schooner
John Fisher. light. from Alexandria for
a Maryland landing to load pulp wood
and return
Tugs and Tows.
Tug Captain Toby sailed with light
barge from Georgetown for Nanjsmoy
creek. Md: tug y. NJ. Key sailed with
lighter from 18th street wharf for Alex
audria: tugs Walter i. Meade and Mi
nerva arrived at Georgetown towing three
lighters from down river. tug Louise ar
rived with lighters in tow from District
workhouSe at Occoquan. Va. tug Eu-
genia left Georgetown with lighters for
sand and gravel digging grounds below
Alexandria.
Memoranda
Schooner Earl Biscoe has been shifted
10 the Eastern branch 10 discharge Iun-
ber; schooner Eta is due at this city
with oysters from the Ragged point beds;
schooner Brooklyn is at Baltimore from
Nomini and Ieocomico creeks Va, with
walnut logs. schooner Carrie Reveli is in
Mattawoman creek loading wood for the
local market; schooner Silver Star is due
at this city from Il Potomac point with
lumber or cordwood: schooner Virginia
Dare will return To Virginia point to
load lumber for this city; schooner Will
liam II MaQuire is reported in Nomlni
creek TO load for this port: schooner
Charles l.. Rohde will load lumber at
Norfolk for dealers here: sloop Herman
son has arrived at Cape Charles City
from this port.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
THE EVENING STORY.
Billy Thompson's Choice.
Copyright. 1913. by ". werner.)

Billy Thompson. formerly Will
ana Mf thompson. was looking
gioomlly out of the car window. ap-
parentiy intent on the passing seen
cry. In reality his thoughts were far
away. and they were far from pleas
ant thoughts For Billy was ON his
way TO the penitentiary. That Billy
was not wearing handouts was due
to a point of pride with Sheriff Will
son. in whose custody Billy was.
Any time when Tom Wilson needs
handcuHs to take care of only one
prisoner it will be because he is an
Older and weaker man than he is
these present days the sheriff used
TO lenlarN, little srimly. The boys
knu" that If any OF them try to make
z break when I'm taking them to the
pen il will be a case for th.. coroner
instead of the penitentiary warden"
Sheriff Wilson was not only an mn
usually strong and active man. but a
dead shot and mighty sudden on the
ing constituents
Billy Thompson gloomily as the train
sped on It's way. Il had a good cha nee
of success when ] left school I threw
'hat away. Then. after the first break
came that position on the railroad
Even after that | had plenty of
chances to get on honestly. I threw
them away. too. Every time | had
a choice offered me I chose the wrong
way. And now I'm on my way TO the
pen.
Billy was aroused from his gloomy
reverie by a little gurgling. gasping
noise He turned from the window
ana saw on the seat in front of him
= plump we'll fed. happy baby who
seemed to be on good terms with him
self and the whole world. The baby
was standing on his mothers lap
leaning over her shoulder so as to
race the seat behind. As Billy looked
at it the baby again broke into a
gurgiing laugh and extended it's chub-
by fists in Billys direction. Even a
man on his way to the penitentiary
would have found it hard to resist
such advances. and Billy. despite his
.aul;s, was fond of children. He snap
Evening star., 1913-11-12
CHAFIN DISAPPROVES.
Not in Line With Antl-Saloon
League on Prohibition Amendment.

CHICAGO, November 12.-Eugene W.
Chafin, presidential candidate of the
prohibition party in 1908 and 1912,
criticised the proposed national con-
stitutional prohibition amendment move
ment fostered by the Anti-Saloon
League convention at Columbus. this
week, in an address last night to Cook
county prohibitionists.
THE constitutional amendment would
not be enforced unless we elected every
officer, from President down." he said.
The prohibition party proposes to
elect officials who viii prevent imme-
diately the manufacture of liquor.
am not willing to wait until two thirds
of Congress proposes a constitutional
amendment and then three -fourths of
the states Tatify it,.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
ON INSPECTION TRIP.
immigration Commissioner Going to
Stations on Pacific Coast.

Cvumissiourr General Camuett uf the
tufs.u If immigration left Washington
last might or the tirst extended iuspcc-
ton trip which ne has made since he
Has been ia office Ills present trip will
cover the immigration stations the
northern and southern borders and the
Pacific coast.
The commissioner will make special
study Of the question of the better ad-
lninistration of the exclusion laws. He
will he gone about Il month.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
BACK TO PRISON FOR TERM.
Eskimo Woman Re-Enters Kansa:
Pen. Killed Soldier This Time.

LEAVENWORTH, Kan. November l..
Carrie Fong Sing, an Eskimo woman
nineteen Years old, was received at the
Kansas state penitentiary yesterday to
serve a sentence of six years. imposed by
the United States district court of Alas
ka. She was convicted of manslaughter
at Nome for killing q soldier.
This is her second imprisonment at the
Kansas prison She was released from
the institution April -. 1913. after com
pleting Il sentence of two years for as
sault with intent to kill The victim of
that assault also was &. soldier, stationed
at Nome.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
$1,000 to Servants.

In addition the servants OF Tie Morris
household are given 5000 10 be dis
tributed among them.
Mrs Morris share III the estate IS !"
p.r cent ~ per cent going to the chill
dreu. Ruth Mae Morris. Helen Muriel
Morris and the boys, Nelson and Edward
The trustees will pay Mrs. Morris an
income of 100000 a year and S2.ni Tor
each child until each has reached the
age of seventeen years At thus age
until twenty -oue the children Will be pald
directly 5000 q year At twenty-one
rears they will receive their first shares
of the estate. Other payments Will be
made from time 10 time by the trustees
until at thirty-five years each will have
received his or her full share.
The personal property disposed OF con-
sists principally of majority of the
stock of Morris & Co and heavy hold
ings of bank stock
Evening star., 1913-11-12
Provides Six Trustees.

The remainder of the estate goes TO
Mrs Morris and the four children. 1t Is
left in the hands of six trustees. win
the deciding vote. in case of d tie, to be
cast by the widow who. with her sons
Nelson Swift Morris and Edward Nor
ris, jr. minors constitute three of the
trustees although the two boys cannot
act until they have attained their ma
iority.
The philanthropic gifts. with the eNcep-
ton of y. essD to the Hebrew Orphan Asy-
lra, Cleveland, Ohio. are 10 Chicago IN
S1itutionS
Evening star., 1913-11-12

straightforward a glance. For a moment
he was no longer the convict. but a man
who had made his choice bravely and
well in one of life's great emergencies.
If I've got any influence in Williston
county,. added Sheriff Wilson in en-
phatic tones, and | think l have. 1t
won't he SO very long before pardon
comes to the pen, Billy.
Billy looked at the plump baby and its
mother. She was weeping, but her tears
were not those of grief And Billy did
not regret his lost chance to escape nor
tie choice he had taken. Even without
tn sheriff last words lie felt that 1t
had been good one
(THE END
Evening star., 1913-11-12
SHIPS ICE BOUND. ONE LOST.
William Mogg Brings News Over
land From Arctic Region.

CIRCLE CITY. Alaska. November IL
William Mogg. member of the crew of
the power schooner Polar Bear, which is
wintering in the Arctic, arrived here yes
ttrdav. bringing news of the loss of the
whaling schooner EIvira, and the safety
of tie Polar Bear
Mogg Travelled overland go miles from
Demarcation point, the boundary be-
tween Alaska and the Yukon territory 10
Circle City. iIe had no news OF The
present position OF Nilhialmur Stef-
anSson'~ exploring ship. the karluk
Nogg said six ships are ice bound along
the coast uf Alaska.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
Would Sent Relics to Mount Vernon

All relics. souvenirs, papers and sirlilar
articles descending from George WASH
ington. and now in the custody OF any
government department. would he sens
to Mount Vernon if the resolution intro
duced by Representative Austin OF Ten
nessee Ia passed. The resolution was
referred 10 the House committee on IL
brarN.
Evening star., 1913-11-12

ped his fingers at the baby who
chuckled gleefully at the performance.
The mother looked around with the
proud smile of young mother who
is certain there never was a baby 10
compare with hers. AS Billy, for the
time forgetful of his own troubles.
continued his attempts TO amuse and
interest the child the little one began
to manifest strong desire to come to
Evening star., 1913-11-12

hal rushed 10 help in Il. work of rescue.
Nov ho TUNED 10 Billy.
So while | was on my back YOU were
getting the kid and its mother ont of the
wreck instead of trying to run away.
he observed. in a voice whose gruffness
tried in vain TO conceal its Kindness.
lie glanced sharply at Billy as he spoke.
But i, was not the look Of a sheriff to-
ward his prisoner. but such as one brave
man gives another Billy met Il with as
Evening star., 1913-11-12

who dares TO challenge Foily's ways. ~
human knowledge grows more clear less
laughter IL proNoi<cs. and Wisdom drops
A generous tear for what VIC once called
jokes
Evening star., 1913-11-12
INDIANS CLAIM LAKE FRONT.
Suit Against Chicago for Land
Worth Millions of Dollars.

Ciily AG-. November 12.-Plans for
municipal improvement along the twenty
miles Of lake front here have been ieop.
ald1Zed by suit for injunction filed
against the city and others by represent
atives of the Pokagon band of the Potta-
watomie nation of Indians.
The suit also makes claim 10 a strip
along the lake front from Evanston to
South Chicago valued at many millions
of dollars The Indians based their suit
upon a treaty between the United states
and the united tribes of Ottawas Chip
peWas and Pottawatome Indians made
August :, 1i15. al Greenville, Ohio.
The government surveys. the suit
charges. show that the eastern boundary
of the grant IS 100 feet back from the lake
in order to give the Indians fishing and
camping privileges along the lake shore.
Evening star., 1913-11-12

d. H. Whitmer of Philadelphia is MAX
ing preliminary SURVEYS for the new
two-hundred- fifty million gallon reser-
vor which the Washington County md
Water Company will construct on South
mountain watershed, near Edgemcnt, Md.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
lust HUMAN
1 NATURE
q or pHfIa01fae kahAso3

This sherry has nutty flavor. said
the epicure "Nutty?" repeated the man
with napkin under his chin. Maybe
that's what's the matter with some of
those after-dinner speeches.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
After a
StrenuousDay
Rub the sore. lame muscles with
&;!S7l;:;3!|!1l;;;|S5l'sI|I|9e Is l;; !|!l;; |S5l!'I|I|


You will then avoid the usual
second day stiffness. ABSOR-
BlNE, JR, is healing, cooling,
Strengthening and invigoratine-
puts Vim and energy into lade6
muscles
Takes but few drops 70 do
the work \ mild, herbal lini-
ment that IS safe and pleasant TO
use II has pleasing odor-does
not stain or leave a greasy residue
Get bottle today.
SI.oo 1 oz-So. 90 1907. bottle.
~ druggists or postpaid.
". l.. YOUNG. p. d. F.
80 Temple street. Springfield. Mass.
Evening star., 1913-11-12

Mrs Philip Craig. sr., ninctN-ifve Years :
old. died near Port Deposit. Md. Nonday.
Evening star., 1913-11-12

The Young Women.s Christian Associa-
tion at Randolph Macon Woman's College
Lynchburg, Va, has just subscribed $50
for the support of Miss Mary Lou White
an alumna of that college, as principal
of the Virginia School for Girls in China.
Evening star., 1913-11-12

After an argument as 10 who IS boss
gets finally settled the chances are that
there isn't enough OF the business left
10 need a boss.
Evening star., 1913-11-12
SECRETARY DANIELS
CORRECTS IMPRESSION
Saws He Has Not Backed Down Nor
Compromised in Adapt
ability Policy.

Secretary Daniels desires to nave 1t
known that he has not backed down"
nor compromised in his policy against
the 'adaptability' of candidates for adj
mission to the Navy or the Marine Corps.
"The papers have said, says the Sec
retarv of the Navy. that there had been
a compromise on the second lieutenants
in the Marine Corps. The facts are that
there were sixteen vacancies. sent IN
fourteen names of those who had passed
The best examination eliminating all con-
sideration of the so-called availability or
probable efficiency and sent them IN
SOLELY as they showed that they had
passed the best examination. OF the two
other vacancies l held up one for a
Young man who would not be of age
until November IL and who had passed
high up on the list. Two young men mao
tied for sixteenth place and as there was
only one place left | held them UP.
Filled Additional Vacancies.
Since that time there have becoke
three additional vacancies, and IN hillng
those vacancies / asked the Judge adVo-
cate general to give me the names or the
men who passed the examination and
not to regard the availability mark at
all These appointments were sent III ao-
solutely on the basis of their eXanliha-
tton without consideration of the avail
ability mark and without compromise
IF availability had counted, men VINO
| are now low on the list would have stood
high up in the first lot and vice versa
! For instance, the man who STOOD eishln
! under the marks including availability.
/ stood second when this arbitrary marx
was disregarded- He was an enlisted
man"