davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-10-17

grand laxative tonic is that 1t Is suited
to the needs of every member Of the
family 1t is pleasant-tasting, mild and
non-griping. Unlike harsh physics, II
works gradually and in very brief
time the stomach and bowel muscles
are trained to do their work naturally
again, when all medicines can be dis
rensed with.
You can obtain a bottle at any drug
store for 50 cents or 81. The latter size
is usually bought by families who al
ready know its value. Results are al
ways guaranteed or money Will be re-
funded.
Families wishing to try n free sample
bottle can obtain il POSTPAID by ad
dressing DR.. w. E. Caldwell, 4i9 Wash
irgton St, Monticello. III. 4 postal
card with your name and address on II
will 90.
The Washington times., 1913-10-17
MRS. MARY L. NEWMAN.

Funeral services for Mrs. Mary L.
Newman. wife of DR.. s. NJ. Newman.
president of Howard University. who
died at O'Clock yesterday afternoon at
the executive residence of the univer-
sity. will be held in the chapel there
at o'clock tomorrow afternoon. The
Rev. Lewis E. Purdulf. assistant pas
tor of the First Congregational Church.
The Washington times., 1913-10-17
Best of All Linens Made

II MORAVAN LINENS hold the first rank in the world of linen
We have splendid stock the highest grades in Tabcots and
fancy pieces You should these goods The prices right
surprise you by their moderation. In regular lines of House Liner
Il the foloWing
The Washington times., 1913-10-17

will offciate. Burial will be in Rock
Creek Cemetery.
Mrs. Newman had been Ill for year.
and death was due to heart trouble.
She was a native of Brunswick. Me-,
and left one daughter She also left
a son by a former marriage. George
r. McManus, a lawyer of Wisconsin.
The Washington times., 1913-10-17
Van Aliens Daughter
In Customs Snar|

BOSTON. Oct. 17.-Mrs. Griswold
Thompson. formerly Miss May Van
Allen, daughter of James J. Van Allen.
Of New York and Newport, furnished
a problem of nationality to the Gus
toms officials upon her arrival from
Liverpool.
On the ground that her husband
lives in New York, the officers dis
puted Mrs, Thompson's contention
The Washington times., 1913-10-17

Fine Plain Damask Satin Border Dim
ner Napkins; extra value. At, ca S0
dozen. .44.oU
Fine Scotch Bleached Plain DamaSk
Satin Border Tablecloths.
2x2 yds. $500
2x2H yds. $50
200 Fine Irish Bleached Pattern
Cloths; heavy quality and good line of
patterns; way below the regular price.
2x2 yds. $500
2x2H yds. ESQ
2x3 yds. ...:........... 800
Napkins to match.
90 pairs Fine Bleached Linen Pillow
Cases; extra good value. At' 50 15
so Fine Hand-drawn and Hemstitched
Teacloths; 45x54 inches q *
square. At, each. h.............. pl.IC
The Washington times., 1913-10-17
Drunk on Grape Juice.

CHICAGO. Oct. Il. - What would
Bryan say" exclaimed Judge Scully
when John Nicholson testified he got
drunk drinking too much grape juice.
The Washington times., 1913-10-17
HENRY c. FISH.

Henry c. Fish, a former resident Of
Washington, who died in Philadelphia
several days ago, will be buried there
The Washington times., 1913-10-17

on Sunday. He leaves a wife. Sara
E. Fish.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-12

wanted to see just how far he was
from regular form. Just a week is
the answer. 1t is probable that Eds
next time out will be against the
Yankee next Saturday, Chance Day,
when there win be enough unusual
stuff pulled off on the South Side to
stock three-ring circus.
Jacques Fourier has played first
base in three games. In those COM
bats he has slapped a triple and dou-
BILE, each driving in a pair of runs.
They were his only hits, but came
at opportune times. Like all bali
players, the FTenchnan is better
batter when played regularly. He has
little chance to supplant Borton,
however, when Babe nurses his bum
finger back to health Borton is I'M
deniably slow, lamentably slow, both
on the bases and in the field, but he
is hitting well. Fourier is not clever
enough to get the job on fielding. He
does not think fast enough.
Ever notice the similaritysb between
SchaIler and Ted Easterly at bat?
If they dressed like twins you
couldn't tell which one was facing
the pitcher. Fortunately, the left
fielder wears dark undergarments,
which protrude below his uniform
shirt That is his mark of identifica-
ton. Both players swing from the
left side of the plate, and each stings
the ball in the same way. Nearly all
their drives are line swats that travel
over the infielders' heads at top
speed. The difference shows when
they get on base? SohalIer is a
faster man than Ted, and acquires
more steals. This is one instance
where you can't tell the players
without a score card"
We didn't have any Underground
information from Manager EFers of
the Cubs when we said he ought to
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-12

in one run and scored the other HIM
self. Schultz is only batting PAT, but
that was not the reason. for the shift.
It was simply, because man was
needed who could lay down sacri-
fee if necessary.
It might be a good thing to keep
Heinie Tim an the bench day or
two, even should he decide he has
had a long enough vacation, and re-
port to Evers for duty. AS far as can
be learned, there was no excuse fCr
Tim absenting himself and sending in
the information that he was sick. On
one of the days he was supposed to
be In hospital he was at the game
in New York while his pals wrestled
with Brooklyn. Zim met Evers in
Gotham Saturday afternoon, and re-
ceiVed a hot calling. During the pow
WOW he intimatedL he had become
peeved at some remarks made by
President Murphy. Murph was re-
ported to have said that Tim would
be back when his head was reduced
so he could get his lid on without a
shoe horn. This ruffled Zim's- deli
cate temperament
If the Cubs can keep in the hunt
on this Eastern trip they have a fine
chance of being in the running all
year. Because Evers' men are not
playing championship ball at present.
They show the need of morning prac-
tice, something they can't get until
they return to the home lot. : They
need batting lessons, and clouting
was thought to be their long suit.
In nearly every game Evers has to
switch his outfeld to get more often
sive strength. That is bad, for the
players. It is self-evident that,a man
has more confidence if he is played
regularly, and does not feel he will
be lifted if certain pitcher is against
him. But Fyers can't do otherwise
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
COULDN'T CORNER THE QUACK
Very Evident He Yves Used 70 Getting
into and Squirting Out of EE-
ceedingly Tight Places.

A corresnuud.ut of the Lancet tells
of a man who. when he went 10
"ouack" and complained of q sharp
pain in the lOins after sitting on damp
grass for some hours. during which
he frequently sucked the point Of the
lead pencil with which he was writ
ing. Was told that he was suffering
from "plumbism." and given some
pills. The next day he returned 10
the "quaeA" and said
"Ycu told me I had 'plumbi-m,
which is lead poisoning, and l now
find there is no lead in lead pencils,
only graphite of plumbago.'
"Oh." replied the "quack," airily,
did I say plumbism is the cause OF
your lumbism? l meant TO have said
plumbago is the cause OF your lum-
bago."
oh" said the man, but anyhow,
your pills are only bread
"Of course" replied the "quack-'
Don't YOU know that bread is the old
est and finest thing to remove pencil
marks With"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
BAD letter ON HANDS

R. F. D. No. l, Critz, Val had
letter on my hands so badly that /
could hardly do anything. 1t would
begin to come in clear white blisters,
then they would burst and peel off all
over and crack and bleed. My hands
were so sore and itched SO badly l
could not rest day or night. l could
not put them in water nor do my reg
ular work.
Il tried medicine and several differ
ent kinds of cream on them but they
got worse instead of better. Nothing
did me any good until tried Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. And now my
hands are perfectly we'll and all right"
(Signed) Miss Ellen Tudor, Nov. 10,
1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

Fred Poor Of the supply department
Of the postofice has been committing
this winter between here and a town
just north Of Lawrence. One day.
Wearied from a late business engage
meut the night before, h fell asleep
i'm the seat and was in sound slumber
when the train passed the bridge in
sight of the falls at Lawrence. An ep-
thusjastic fellov-pa going over
the road for the first time, was so in
terestcd at the sight of the splashins
water that he thought it a pity the
young man should be deprived Of the
opportunity to witness the scene. And
SO he awakened Poor ont of sound
sleep that he might behold it. Consid-
eriug that he had seen the falls twice
daily for months, it required a rare
summOning of amiability to loOk
pleased But he did so.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Blamed IL on Medicine.

Seasickness affects people different
ly, but it is doubtful If many accept it
in the spirit manifested by a certain
small sinner who, by reason of his
poor health, had been subjected to
various kinds of unpleasant medical
treatment. Fairchild was taken out
for an ocean sail, with direful conse-
quences. He kept silence as long as
he could. but at last even his good
nature revolted Between paroxysms
he angrily addressed his mother.
81 told you never, never again to
give me medicine without telling me
about it. I'd lots rather know when
I'm going to be sick"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Missed the Flood Story.

Sir William Treloar recently told
story of a servant who was once en-
ployed at his Cripples' Home at Alton,
says the Taller. One day during lunch
time there was a heavy downfall of
rain, and Sir William said to the little
maid who was waiting at table, why.
Lizzie, it is almost like the Flood"
The Flood, Sir William" said the
girl. Yes, the Flood. Noah, you
know and Mount Ararat." 81 never
have no time to look at the papers, y
she replied apologetically.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Loo Iona to Wait.

At the American Electric Railway
associations convention in Atlantic
City, John Morse Rogers, the Omaha
statistician, said:
1T is too early yet for the three
cent fare. The trolley roads stand to-
ward the three-cent fare as old Gobsa
Golde stood toward the beautiful type
writer girl.
1T wasn't Gobsa Codes age that
lost him the beautiful girls hand.
Gobsa swore he would love and cher
ish her till death, but she shook her
head. She didn't tell him he was too
old, though. No, indeed. She told him
he was too young!"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
New Certain Liver Remedy that
Puts CaIomeI Out CT Business

They are so good for all Liver Stomach
and Bowel ailments that famous physi-
clans in Hot Springs, Ark. prescribe them
because they know of nothing better.
They are grand tonic They build you
up; make you eat, sleep and work better.
They drive sallowness, pimples and
blotehes from the skin and are splendid
for headache, dizziness and nervousness.
All real drug stores carry II o T
SPRINGS LIVER BUTTONS-25 cts.
Your money back if they are not just
grand
Free sample and 100 of our 1000 testi-
monials from Hot Springs Chemical Co..
Hot Springs, Ark.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Had One HOPE.

A little English lad much impressed
by his nature reading, built an anna
teur nest in a tall tree and confided
to an adult friend his hopes of finding
eggs in it
But birds build their own nests,
DEAR" it was gently suggested They
won't lay eggs in nests they haven't
built. I'm afraid you'll be disap.
pointed"
Perhaps not; how about cuckoos?''
cried the triumphant child.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Cassandra Caddie.

Miss Gladys Ravenscroft, the new
golf champion, was talking in Will
mington about the royal games diff
culties.
when l began to play" she said, Il
had a crusty old Scot for caddie. At
ter l had worked very hard for some
months | asked this crusty old Scot
one day:
We'll Saunders, how am l getting
on?'
Saunders answered gruffly:
Yer no maxim fool O. yersel, but
yell never be a gowfer.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
His Sensible Attitude.

Us yo' comm to pra'r meetin' to-
night. Brud' Dinger?" inquired old
Parson Gagster.
''Well-uh, no, sab; reggin not" was
the reply. ITO tell de troof, pahson,
rs amin to go to de minstrel show
done got a Complementary ticket"
"Brud' Dinger, dar won't be no min
strel shows in heaven"
Den, if OATS de case, sab, I'm sho'
gwine tonight, whilst muh tickets
good,"-Judge.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
In,nnrtanf 70 Mofhara
Training Down Daddy.

Ethel declare, Elsie, how we'll
your father looks. He belongs to that
downtown business mems gymnasium,
dopsu't he?
Elsie-Not daddy. Dads more up-to-
7o - mat Mother and we girls
talked him into joining Miss Martins
anso classes, and the improvement
has been simply wonderful.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Milk for Gloves,

A simple and effective way to clean
kid gloves is TO draw them on the
hands and go over them with a clean
cloth dipped in skim milk. Wear them
until quite dry. Or moisten small
sponge or piece of cloth in skim milk.
rub it on a CAKE of CASTLE soap and
with this sponge the gloves until they
are quite clean. Wear until they are
dry.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

girls they would receive gifts rather tried to i'm
upon them the idea that if they did not ask tor
than they should receive that is. not selfish,
they might get them With this admonition | coupled
the idea that Claus needed help especially in reach
ing the poor the sick and the unfortunate told my
children help Santa Claus all they could and every
year they have managed discover child or
sick unfortunate boy girl for whom they have
provided gifts In thus helping Santa Claus they have
pleasure that they have quite forgotten
their desires beyond the expression of them
They have least curbed their seshness, and think
that have led them to be generous to some extent
In this woman's experience lies more of practical
value than be found in all the books that be pub
lished all the associations christendom She
the whole matter and she applied the proper
remedy-a remedy that did not directly curb that did
punish, but effected by indirection the result
that she wished to bring about How many parents
today treating the selfshness their children
way? How many need treat their children in the
same way? And how many easily begin now by
encouraging their children to help Santa Claus?
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Reform Costume for Women.

A conservative correspondent OF the
Sun suggests this costume as proper
one for women who wish to signify
their disapproval of the extravagant
and immoral modes of the day: Plain
drab costume Disgusting the figure:
black, sober hat with white spots; no
jewelry: pair of spectacles, a Mother
Camp umbrella. warm wooden stock
ings, thick shoes with very low heels.
1t would certainly be well worth
while to watch the effect of the APP
psarance of this costume on Fifth ave-
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

sand years ago in fair bethlehem.
For weeks before the festival thou
sands and thousands OF trees are
brought by rail and water from the
forests Of ThurInEia and Me,hen-
burg TO the capital where they are
sold by dealers on the public squares
and places In the last fortnight be
fore Christmas the trim grass plots
vanish beneath a forest Of Christmas
trees ranged up in endless lines,
each resting on a roughly tackled TO
gether, deal wood stand. And here
from eight in the morning till eight
at night. according 10 paragraph so
and 50 of the police regulations, the
millionaire captain Of industry. the
uniformed official. the bespectacied
professor, and the miserably paid
hungry looking school teacher rub
shoulders. hdggling and bargaining
over their Christmas tree. The lat
ter can be had at all prices, from 90
marks for a forest king to 90 pfen-
nigs for a stuuttl dwarf The one
NAV be destined 10 be hung with cor
uscating electric lights and decked
with diamonds fQRrJha bankers VIE.
the other fe Nv Illuminated with
farthing dips and miserably tricAed
out with a handful OF nuts for the
work.uguan's family. The men on
dut, at the electric plant stations on
Christmas eve have their tree. as do
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

Some Of these associations
look to physical development,
others to mental and moral.
and still others 70 both. In
a little book prepared by an
association of the last named
class. the writer recently
found this statement: Par
ents are as much responsible
for the selfishness of heir
children as they are tor their
existence" This rather EN-
phatic statement LED TO quite
a discussion of the matter
with the mother of several
children. who told the writer
that she had been engaged
ever since her first born IN
combating selfishness and
developing generous impulses
in her children. In relating
her experiences she told this
little story:
AT this season of the year
my children got into the habit
of expressing their desires
for particular Christmas gifts
I did not tell them that il
thnv would he good hnYS and
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

You need a new hat"
I'm"
You need a new suit"
I'm"
You need shoes. Man alive. your
feet are on the groundi"
Quite true" admitted Wombat
with a sigh.
Then take this weeks salary and
spruce up"
Cant squander any money on my
self, old man. My wife is worse of
than | am"
Dear me, How is that"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
From Hot SPRINGS. Ark. where the
Best Medic a Brains in America are
Located-No More Con stipation.

To relieve constipation with violent
remedies that simply force their way
through the bowels is easy-but how about
the after effect of such strenuous treat
ment?
The people of America are now offered
a Liver Stomach and Bowel remedy by
name HOT SPRINGS LIVER BUTTONS,
that is a certain cure for constipation.
They are gentle in their action and give
speedy and blissful relief.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

this Of the year IN the Vel man
colonies under tropical where the cactus must
rrrorca rcrce the native fir Christmas celebrations are
held and the same songs sung at home i'm sben Naer
land
Naturally when all Germanys children are celebrat-
ing her model family leads the way At the imperial
court Christmas celebrated in exactly the same way
as in every other household throughout the empire TWO
especially fine specimens Of FIR are selected by the royal
foresters for the emperor and empress and ojheT trees
in diminishing sizs the numerous other members q
the emperors immediate family that is his six sons and
one daughter the his three married sons and his
two grandsons the latter being favored with proportion
ally ny trees The whole number set up in the smell
hall of the palace at Potsdam where the kaiser al
ways spends Christmas and the various gifts, ABOUT
which the secrecy is observed as in the families OF
the bourgeois disposed the foot of each separate
tree But before imperial family celebrates the feast
the emperor and empress attend the "Bescherung or
presentation of gifts the members of the imperial
household chambre personal attendants. lack
eys, and footmen.
On the afternoon of Christmas eve the emperor &C
by adjutant whose pockets stuffed with
newly ve three and two mark pieces takes the
traditional walk through the park of the palace and
money the beggars who rally in great force
He has word a cordial greeting for them all, nor
does forget the guard at the gates OF the palace
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
GETTING at the Facts

A witness in a particular case had
been examined by the lawyer for the
plaintiff and was turned over to the
lawyer for cross-examination.
Now. then, Mr.. Smith, began the
legal one, what did understand you
TO say that your occupation is?'
Il am a piano finisher." answered
the witness.
Yes, | see." persisted the lawyer,
but you must be more definite Do
you polish them, or do you nov
them2"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Philanthropy.

II feel pretty good today" said
Jones to his wife IL saved a man
from lifelong misery"
How was that?"
My assistant wants to ge, married
and asked for raise, But / wouldn't
give it to him."
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

beginning of December till the they devote con-
siderable portion of their to Christmas oazars'
where one imagnes self transported 10 Toyand
pieces with electric trans air
ships railway trains careerng about amid wonderful
paper mache mountain scenery ravshng Visions OF far
doll-women and army corps corps OF the most
gallant tin soldiers that manned fort The air Is
earsplting cacophony of noise emitted by
and the atmosphere reeks with the smell
of shavngs and glue that peculiar pungent odor OF the
which brings back to the old fogies the myster
Gus delights of the birthday table.
On Christmas every German must have his
Christmas tree. When passes through the streets
on wet Christmas eve-the sparkling frost and snowy
mantle Of feuiletonst rarely put in appearance
before January-one has the curious feeling of being in
midst 600O0000 of people all engaged in doing the
same thing imagine the traveller looking on the
Mohammedans laboriousy threading their
way across of Mecca to win the title of Had
regarding with similar emotions. For when
say every German, it is literally true. The streets OF
Berlin deserted for the and omnibuses and
cabs occasional policeman and from behind the
the windows the candles the Christmas trees
throwing little beams into the darkness of the
night did the star the shepherds nearly two thou
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Off and On,

Save when you're young" The
speaker, John d. Rockefeller, Jr., was
addressing Y. NJ. c. A. meeting in
Cleveland.
Save when you're young" repeated
Mr.. Rockefeller, with a smile The
years will pass swiftly. Then, when
you find yourself well on, you'll also
find yourself well Off"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
COULDN'T STAND THE OUTLAY
Wombat's Personal Appearance Did
Not Count Under the Existing
Circumstances.

Excuse me. Wombat," said the
well-dressed one. but personal friend
ship prompts me to speak"
What Is II. old chap"
II fear that. unless you improve
your personal appearance. you may
lose your job
II hope not"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Causes Further Talk.

Because so many people are telling their
experience with Hunts Lightning Oil for
Headaches, Rheumatism. Neuralgia, etc,
others are led to give it a trial, and are
convinced Immediately of its merit as a
pain killer. Are you yet to be convinced
Ask the druggist Adv
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
misunderstood.

Miss Goodrich hear your husband
is a great lover of the esthetic.
Mrs. Nurich-Oh, yes! He takes
one every time he gets his tooth pull
ed.-Stanford Chaparral.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20

nue-or better. on Broadway. between
| Twenty-eighth street and Forty eighth
street, at p. N. The wearer would
receive a real ovation.-From The
| Office Window" in the New York Mail.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1913-12-20
Bad for Dentists.

"How are those two young men who
went into partnership as dentists get
ting on?"
Rather badly. Somehow they don't
seem to pull together"