davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
ONLY A PANDORA GIRL
FROM the washington Post.

From the washington Post.
TN 1.-THE Mind the Paint Girl" the
comedy in which Miss Billie Burke is
starring, Jinero has given his heroine
a long speech--extraordinaril long as
stage speeches go, in which she tells the
young ''sprig of the nobility" who has
just asked her to marry him, all about
her origin and upbringing, and how she
las attained success. 1t is an interesting
speech, because it is the story of many
a woman who has risen to a high place
on the stage in America, as well as in
England. The speech referred to follows:
Lily-what do you say to a tiny provi-
sion shop in Remington over the water?
That was my start IN the world. Father
kept a small shop in Kennington-Gladwi
street, near the oval. He sold groceries
and butter and eggs and cheese and pick
led pork and paraffin l was born there
on the second floor And in Gladwin
street I lived till was a. Then father
smashed, through the stores cutting into
our little trade. Well, hardly smashed.
That's too imposing. The business just
faded, and one morning we didn't bother
to take down the shutters.
Then, after a while, father got starva-
ton berth--1S shillings a wcekl-at a
wholesale bacon warehouse-Price &
Moseley's-still over the water. and 1
earned an extra five at a place in the
Westminster Bridge road pasting the gilt
edges onto passe-partout from a. m.
till o'clock in the evening. Not syl-
liable against the passe-partoutsl They
were the making of me.
1t was the passe-partouts that brought
me and Tedder together. In the house
where L worked, man of the name of
Tedder-Ambrose Tedder-taught dancing
stage dancing. "Tedders Academy of
Saltatory Art" And every time passed
Tedders door and heard his violin or pi-
ano and the sound of the pupils feet,
T.! oh, lor, IL once T.! Well, ulti-
mately Tedder took me and trained me
did it for nix-for what he hoped to
get out of me in the future. All, and he
hasn't lost over me-poor old Ambrose.
He collared third of my salary for ever
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
cELLuLoID AND SAFETY

From the Pharmaceutical Era.
Someone has said that when Hyatt
invented celluloid, he gave the world
the material for a new art, and even
for fine art. Examples of this fine
galleries, but every druggist in the
land carries in stock some articles
made from this valuable plastic and
similar materials. While certain facts
regarding pyroxylin compounds are
widely known, much that is of general
interest is not readily accessible to
everyone; and the Pharmaceutical Era
brings out some of this information,
Cleaned from a number of authorita-
have been granted for making pyroxy-
lin p1astics, the principles of the sue
Icessfu1 manufacturers are, broadly
speaking, identical. Again, the choice
of ingredients is extremely limited The
processes employed are often very COM
|plicated. requiring machinery of special
design, and above all demanding the
|attention to details. The result OF the
modern painstaking methods is a sub
|stance which is nearly as stable as
stone. capable of taking any form,
color, grain, or texture as strong as
wood, and-what is not usually cred
|ited-as safe as wood.
With the exception of glass, and pos
|sibly of rubber, more articles in the
lines of druggists sundries are made
from celluloid than from any other ma
Iteria1 Manicure SETS powder boxes,
mirrors, brushes and combs, toot-
brushes. syringes. soap boxes, lables,
ornamental articles, and novelties-the
Hist might go on Indefinitely. And the
druggists sales might grow percept-
Ibly il the idea were not only too widely
prevalent that these pyroxylin products
Iare explosive and dangerous. 1t Is easy
to see how this idea has arisen from
confusing explosibility with infiama-
lbility, which is quite another question
In spite of many fantastic statements
/ to the contrary, celluloid does not ex-
lp1ode Prof. Henry Morton of the
lStevents institute, is authority for the
statement that a block of one of these
materials to which a high-power de-
tonoting fuse had been attached. was
split OPEN but did not explode. Drug
| gists can emphatically assure their GUS
toners that celluloid is as safe ma
terial to have about the house as most
kinds of dress goods.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
Rural Postmasters in a Merit Test

Rural Postmasters in a Merit Test
The extra session is to be convened
April 7, and Postmaster General
Burleson proposes to have his plan
for dealing with the fourth class post
masters ready at that time. He will
not ask, it is reported, the President
to revoke Mr.. Taft's order placing the
southern fourth class postmasters on
the classified list, but he will ask that
all such postmasters who were placed
on the civil service list without exam
ination be required to meet the merit
test.
This would no doubt prove to be
satisfactory settlement of difflcule
problem. No one will be barred out
because of politics, and the best man
will win a given office if the present
incumbent is not able to hold it.
:. The Burleson plan does not call for
legislation. The President is free to
act in this matter, and any plan that
promises to improve the service will
be pretty sure to secure his approval.
The fourth class postmasters should
therefore begin to cram for the merit
case, which is plainly a-coming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Dr. David s. McCann of Pittsburg, who
was the first American to be treated for
tuberculosis by DIR. Friedman, says his
complete cure is about to be announced
from Berlin. Quoting DR.. C. L. Schleich,
who has charge of Friedmanns patients,
McCann says: There's practically no
tuberculosis in you now. You are almost
entirely cured, and 1 will pronounce you
wholly cured soon. say this on my scien-
tific honor and as if | stood under oath
in court of justice" Following this as
surance, DIR. Mccain says he went to DR..
J A. Ruben of Pittsburg, who is at the
Anglo American Medical society headauar-
ters in Berlin. He asked for a severe
physical examination. McCann says the
verdict Ruben gave him was this:
have gone over every organ carefully and
find you sound, strong and vigorous" Il
have come to feel so full of life and to
find such interest in the ordinary pleas
ures of life,'' cabled DR.. Mccain, that
l cannot but believe that I am sound and
healthy again"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
TWO OF THEM

From London Tit-Bits.
This story was told recently at one OF
the service clubs. One or two young SUI
balterns were dining together at a res
taurant one night, and the conversation
became a discussion on lies and lying
generally, and finally there was a warm
debate as to- who was the biggest liar
known to them. An old gentleman sitting
at a table near was unable to avoid over
hearing the discussion, and after few
minutes he arose and came. over to their
table.
II have Just heard you decide, gentle
men," he said gravely, that Lieut.. Ar
thur Blank is the biggest liar you have
ever met. I am his father
After a few seconds embarrassed ST.
lence, one of the young officers began to
stammer apologies, but the old gentle
man waved them aside.
mo, no." he said, don't apologize. It's
quite unnecessary. was only going to
say that If you regard my son Arthur rs
the biggest liar you have met, you cannot
possibly have met my other son, Rich
ard
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
Theodore Lacy's Remarkable Flight

The disappearance of Theodore
Lacy, defaulter, from Montgomery
last Wednesday continues to be the
subject of comment and speculation.
He took from one bank rs pounds in
money, and this was only about one
half of what he had on hand prepara-
tory to flight. 1t is incredible that he
carried in one suit case all this money.
In fact the sum could not have been
squeezed into suit case, because of
the large number of small bills that
ne is known to have received. How
oze fled loaded down with money is a
problem no one seems able to solve.
In Montgomery the belief prevails
that he left large part of the money
secreted in that city, and that the sum
he carried away consisted of bank
notes Of the larger sizes.
1t is claimed that the fleeing chief
clerk was seen in Marietta, Ca, on
Saturday afternoon, and that he went
to Chattanooga via Rome. If the in
formation from Maietta be trust
worthy, the direction of the fugitive's
flight is pretty well determined, al
though he may quickly have changed
his course, loaded up as he is with
the states money.
The capture of Lacy is, however, OF
less Importance to the people Of the
state than is the placing of the re-
sponsibility WHICH led up to the big
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
St. Patriclx,s Day

Owing to the fact that st. Patrick S
day came this year in holy week, the
was of an unusually quiet
character throughout the country. The
majority of men regardless of nationality
or creed wore the green, and in Birming-
ham the Ancient Order of Hibernians
held an entertainment consisting of music
and addresses, but there was no dancing,
as is customary on the feast of Ireland S
great apostle.
II recall the nth of March in 1856. which
as on this year, fell onsMonday Of holy
week. said an old Hibernian. 81 was
living in a northern city and the Irlsl
vocieties transferred the celebration ol
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Chicago has hastily adopted the style in
coiffures named for President Wilson's
daughters. Hair dressers are showing the
Jessie swirl the Margaret fillet" and
women are tired of carrying huge bum
dies of artificial hair on their heads The
simple styles of the Wilson girls lend
to say the styles will sweep the coun-
try"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
MARRY, FORsOO1H!

From Judge.
The following is ascribed to Senator
Sorghum:
Down in my state there Is quite a
character. who is known far and wide as
a woman hater. One day some of the men
in the office thought they would have
some fun with the old man, and conse-
quently they asked him why he had
never married.
Marry! the ga fellow said. Bah.
All these women talk about nowadays is
either bridge or Bridget"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

st. Patrick's day to April 8. Boys born
in an Irish household on that day were
ehristened Patrick. I have kinsman
named Patrick who was born on the 30
of April, 1856, in the town to which re-
fer, and we have many jokes ABOUT his
birthday because he did not come into the
world on March II. but was nevertheless
born on ST Patrick's day."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

President Wilson has asked Maj. l..
Rhodes, medical corps, U. S. A., to .re-
main at the White House as military aide
to the President. Major Rhodes, who is
a Pennsylvanian, is a surgeon, attached to
the White House as the official physician
during the Taft administration. After
the death of Maj. Archibald W. Butt, who
went down with the Titanic in April, 1912,
Major Rhodes combined the duties of mil
itary aide and physician in attendance.
In addition to his duties at the White
House, Major Rhodes is the surgeon in
charge of the Walter Reed General Army
hospital in Washington. He was sta
toned at Manila when Mr.. Taft was gov
ernor general of the Philippines. and per-
formed an operation on Mr.. Taft, which,
according to what was said afterwart,
had saved the latter's life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

A bill has been introduced In the Penn
sylvania legislature prohibiting any re--
son allowing any horse. mule or OK to
of the first and second classes. Fine and
Imprisonment are provided as penalties
for violation of the act.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

The United States navy has just pur-
chased 100000 pounds of sugar at Az cents
pound. A New York city grocery firm
secured the contract.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
NATURE.

Who walks the highways of the world.
Through crowded cities roaming,
VIII never see the flowers furled,
The fireflies in the cleaning;
VIII never know the twilight peace
That rests on dale and hill,
When sounds of wood and meadow eease
And all the winds are still.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

The census reports 125,OO0 idiots in this
country This is believed to be the min
imum number for the foolkiller has long
been overworked. The Baconian squad
were all counted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

LITTER DAYS.
How dear to my heart is the old-fashioned
breakfast
used to devour when I was a boy;
| rose from my bed then as fresh as q
daisy
And fell on my food with a chuckle of
joy.
But now when get up and go to tie
city
There's nothing on earth that I'm want
ing to eat
So I toy for little with grapefruit and
coffee
And scowl at the friends that hap
pen to meet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Gen. Rosalie Jones' army refuses to dis
band until some one is punished for let
ting the hoodlums interfere with that
procession.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

President Gomez of Cuba vetoed the am
nesty bill after having once signed it,.
Secretary Bryan wears a broad smile
when he thinks how he brought the veto
out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Six aspirants for seats in st. Louis
board of freeholders have been ruled out
of the running because they own no st.
Louis soil
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Girls in Senator divers mills in Pitts
burg average $3.50 a week, and yet the
Senator gets the full benefit of a high
protective tariff. He refuses to divide his
tariff plunder with the girls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

If the canal zone is a portion of the
United States, Porto Rico and all the rest
of the provinces must begin to feel like
states.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Senator Hollis of New Hampshire has to
go back go years to find the record of
another democratic senator.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Better farming and purer food take the
place of Tama Jim Wilson's politics and
Remsen board.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

The purser of an ocean liner who mas
feels unsafe when he comes ashore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18


Beginning the first of next year, May or
Lewis L. Shank of Indianapolis will do
his potato selling" and "mayoring" from
vaudeville stage. The mayor has signed
a contract with large vaudeville circuit
to do a monolog at $500 a week. The
mayor. who won fame through his efforts
to reduce the high cost of living by buying
carloads of potatoes and other produce
and selling them on the city market him
self at cost price. win complete his four
year term on January 1 next He was
a candidate for the nomination for gev-
ernor before the republican state convel-
ton, but was defeated. Since couldn't t
get to be governor" said Mayor Shank.
II guess going on the stage is the next
best thing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

The daughters of the President are to
learn how to steer motor car while
father is kept busy steering the ship of
state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

James Hamilton Lewis is a polite man
and he is politely waiting for his toga.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Mona of Avon, the new White House
COW, is fully installed and happy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

The suffragists scored failure on
March as a parade, but they Won a
whole lot OF propagandist material
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
NOT ENTIRELY COMMITTED.

NOT ENTIRELY COMMlIlED.
.Did she say she would be yours for
ever and day."
mo 1 think she reserved that one ex-
ira day for BRIDGE
HE TOOK SOMETHING STRONG.
.Who is that yelling down the road?"
"Thats old man Toggs, breaking up a
cold"
II didn't suppose breaking up cold was
such a noisy operation"
.trhat depends altogether on what a
person takes for it."
oBTusE.
I'm afraid poor Twobbersly has no
sense of humor.''
I'm afraid so, too. Twobbers1y could
attend a meeting of vice commission
and never crack smile"
PARTING FROM JUNGLE JOE"
Wclit BOod-DsCt uOC
Take keer o. yerself;
I wouldn't mind So
You've plenty of pelf'
WHO'S DOING THE TALKING?
= IA business man should never take his
stenographer out to lunch."f
"why not?"
"Oh, it causes talk"
"Of course 1t causes talk. but IL the
business man will abstain from cocktails,
he won't talk to her half as much as he
might"
COMPARISON BEING oDIoUs.
"a camel with load can travel 25 miles
per day." says the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The camel is a superior beast Sometimes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
CAUSE AND EFFECT.

'Mr. snoops is a rather insignificant
looking man."
well, if you had been withered by
wifely eye as much as Mr. snoops mas
you'd look insignificant, too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

NO DOUBT MEANS WE'LL.
The Independent, Kans, Star says: ed
Debruler, Doctor Birds right hand MAJ.
was busy this morning scraping E. Clate
Fair, prescriptionist, from the window it
so long adorned" That little word ST
explains everything.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
TIME TO TREMBLE.

Are there any degrees of love-
|, "oh. yes. Loves third degree Is an
irate wife on the stairs with broom in
her hand. just waiting"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

PAINTERS,
There was a post-impressonist
Who daubed until he tainted.
And no one in the whole wide world
Could tell what twas he painted.
Birmingham -Age-Herald
We watched a cubist painter cube;
Permit us the expressionD
He scratched the canvas with a table
And made quite an impressions.
Youngstown Telegram
A certain damsel daubed her cheeks,
As II it were her duty.
And to a host of picked geeks
She seemed a perfect beauty.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

Hollow Horn Bear is dead of pneu-
monia at the age of g. He was the big
chief of the Sioux Indians. ON the Rose
bud. S. D.. reservation. He came to at
tend President Wilson's Inauguration. and
the weather was too much for the old
warrior. When he was stricken last
Wednesday the young chiefs of his party
consented to take him to the paleface
medicine men at hospital, where it was
seen there was no hope Hollow Horn
fingered in a semi-conscious condition un-
til Saturday, when just about the time the
breakfast smoke was curling through the
tops of his peoples tepees on the Dakota
reservation. the Great Spirit called him to
the happy hunting grounds. Born a
pagan. Hollow Horn died devout Chris
tian. The Rev. William II. Ketchum, di-
rector of the bureau Of Catholic missions,
gave him the last rites.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
LATTER DAYS.

a man with a load can't travel 9 feet per
day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

All progressives look alike to the Wilson
administration.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

will speak daggers to her but use
none. -Hamiet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-18

PARTING FROM JUNGLE JOE"
Well, goodbye, Joe,
Take keer o. yerself;
I wouldn't mind So
You've plenty of pelf'
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1913-08-01
Not More, But Better Railroads

A natural consequence of the present
strlngency in the money market, which
makes it difficult for the railroad COM
panies to place new issues of stock or
bonds at satisfactory rates, it is expected
to be marked reduction in the amount
Of railroad building for the next year or
two Curiously enough, it is reported
that Wall street, which is popularity sup
posed to fatten off of the construction
and the financing of new lines views
the PROJECT with composure, and is said
to believe that a cessation in this form of
activity for time will be good thing
for the country.
The fact is, as glance at the map
will show. we already have enough rail-
roads for the present needs of nearly
every section OF the United States.
What we want is better railroads. not
more of them. Instead of building more
single track lines, the protltableness of
which will be matter of doubt, the real
requirements of the country are that
many existing singe.traCk roads shall be
double tracked and that double track
railroads carving a heavy traffic shall
have a third or fourth track added.
For such improvements, the abolition OF
grade crossings. the enlargement of
freight terminals, the introduction of
safety signals and appliances etc, there
is need of vast sums of money, and it is
much better that the cash of investors
should go into such work than into the
increase of lines.-Philadelp Record.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1913-08-01
Steam Locomotion Doomed.

The pioneers IN the substitution OF cleo
trio motive power for steam upon the
railroads merely hoped that the costs of
operation would be smaller than they
were under the old system. They had
no experience 10 draw upon. They were
compelled by the circumstances to make
the venture. 1t is only within recent
months that they could say that the VEN
ture had paid.
Now. under tests of varied character. il
has been demonstrated that the cost of
electric operation is practically about
fve-eights that of doing the same work
with steam loCOmotion. The electric To-
comotion has proved to have decided adj
vantages in being able to use its entire
weight for traCtive effort, in making a
greater mileage per year than the steam
locomotive and in needing fewer repairs.
The saving is sufficient to warrant
every railroad in the country undertaking
the labor OF elcCtrihCaton. 1t is sufficient
to warrant the public looking forward to
day very near at hand when the smoke
and grime-making locomotives will be a
part OF the past.-Toledo Blade
Entrapped in his fathers barn, which
was mass Of flames the three-year Did
son of Albert Roberts, living about two
miles aud half from Mt. Airy, was
burned to death Saturday evening, when
fire destroyed tine barn and contents. In
Guided in the loss were one mare, two
colts, 500 bushels OF wheat, 40 barrels OF
corn, 40 tons of hay, and large quantity
of harness and farming machinery. The
total financial loss was placed at 81, 600
partly covered by insurance.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1913-08-01
Liberty Items.


Nn9 l:tu' o4iipPl~s'3A ntS ie,l'4e-
roI' : Nl''' 70 nt'.',n3'e' " 'sa.1S'9a.
d"I "1o'' .'1"9' N"I''l.a'
Misses Charlotte and Nellie Sh.p.y. 81
ia Is e,I.j "et5 .n- guests oi Mss 6@a-
'@'i ." 19'''e' ''l7 i'a9I week.
Mr.. hom1' b. MAYNARD was gu-st
u o., M H. Dts'. LISA j. d, l-.hStaoFe iof Inc
"a. 49,
Mr. and Mrs. ". R. Stuart. Of Bru1s-
WICK visited d.. and Mr. T. A Simp-
son part OF last and THIS week
Mrs. lanes 5 ,pDiny.o1 Of { ni~-ly
entertained at tea on sunday, Mr. and
Mrs. w K. Stuart Of Brunswick. and
MIS- Jason Arnold and Mss Edith
Yakey. o, Loyettsvile. Virginia.
Miss Helen Sapping'Jn, Of Newport
News. Virginia. IS spending several
weeks a. her home east ot town.
Mr.. I. Frank Mccall and sister, Miss
Maggie Meicali-, % N-TtrS, New Ter
sey, came on IhursdaF Of last week 10
spend part Of the summer .a the formers
hne country hom-. near iDRl, which he
mas 'a'e'y fenoasied.
Services were held n : =. m. on Sun
Gay, IVY Z. z ,n' 10 PAM 1el@r Roman
S In t- ~. Gnu u l9..1Is4 n me alter
F9fber Csvan,,,s ct+i..,,5 '''- IN ~ "a,
services - az '''' ~ vac
The N r.s,;,..1 ,,..- ..-.. -.,.
ross fna,cis,,, ,nd o.s..-.,.;a r., 'ut
,fendanr,. u.as -. 49,. "' a.
ne committee having IN charge the
gteat Liberty picnic ana tournament