The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1913-01-20
A HUSBANDS
TOMBSTONE
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

i,rmed the wife OF Alonzo Smith tina
her husband had been gored to deaf
by bull she tainted away. When III
body was brought home she fainte'
ngnin At the funeral she tainted "
far away that they had TO take he
home.
Had Mrs. Smith dropped the faint
Ing business after three months PEG
pie would have gone on for anothe
three calling her poor thing" Sh'
didn't do IL only In part. As time
went by she could get to that point IL
her story to where the bull tossed
Smith for the second time. and Their
from ten to thirty minutes uncon
seriousness stepped In. 1t was hard on
the neighbors. but heap harder on
her minister.
"Parson. / must get tombstone for
poor Alonzos grave as soon as posi-
ble." she said one day when she
wasn't fainting.
'Of course, sister,
II don't want to accept an obituary
In hurry. want one to do justice
to his character. ! am going to write
one. and l shall ask all my friends to
do the same" :
II will certainly do my full share"
And he did. and so did dozen 9th
ers. In the course of three months
124 specimen obituaries were handed
in. Never in his fifty years of life did
Alonzo Smith receive one-tenth of the
attention he did In the first six months
after his demise The widow read all
the obituaries. but accepted none.
They are all good. but don't think
none of them quite do him justice"
The minister had gone as far as he
dared. as Mr.. Smith was not member
of his church with the wife. and he
had been known to break loose with
the English language on slight provo
cation. He had said that Alonzo had
gone to his rest and what was our
loss was bis gain, and he thought that
doing pretty well by man who wao
hooking harvest game.
Il think it ought to say that he died
from being gored by bull" argued
the widow
II must differ with you there" soft
ly replied the parson.
And it ought to say that he was
tossed three different times"
II can't agree"
And I'm wondering If 1t shouldn't
say how / took the news. You know
how many times tainted away.
don't want the world TO think just
gave yell and was all over It."
OF course the tombstone makers |
were not given the go-by. When the
local supply was exhausted the out
slders were taken in. Marble shops |
from fifty miles around sent on their
agents. Some were very solemn and
serious men. and some were inclined
to frivolity and do business the same
rs If buying or selling pork. but no
specimen OF tombstone that had ever
headed grave was quite good enough
for the late Alonzo. Her first words
to any agent were:
II want tombstone with something
ON top of it."
'Oh, you mean lamb"
NO. | don't Alonzo was no lamb"
"Then an angel?" +,
mo; he was no angel"
"Then what's your idea?"
MY dear husband was killed by a
BULL"
80 you have said"
II have been thinking Of having a
)ull on the stone instead OF lamb or
IN angel but haven't fully made up
nv mind yet I will consult my min
ster and let you know" =
And then she would call on the par
on and put the case to him and break
own and begin to sob as he replied:
II should have a plain tombstone.
ister.'' i
Eyes, guess I WILL"
By the next day she would get the +
1ea of having a weeping woman on l.
he stone. and. putting on her hat In n
urry, she would burst In on the par
on with the news.
But don't see the object" he would
eplyy .
Hadn't l ought to let the world ;,
now that weep" n,
The world will take II for granted"
Two years went by and there was no "
Dmbstone yet-in fact. the obituary 81
as not yet selected. Everybody but Il
10 parson had refused to have any
ling more to do with the case. He
nd to keep 1t in mind because the
idow wouldn't give him time to for Ii
ct. An idea came TO the good man
ne day as he saw Mr. Thornton. the
vner OF the bull. on the street. Mr.. iii
hornton had been n widower for ID
ear He was asked to call at the br
irsonage some day. and when he did o.
, he was told that now was the time -
make reparation. He had never
hid the widow any damages Why OF
IT square things by marrying her? le
oh. no. the parson didn't put IL as TO
min as that. but under his beautiful
nguage about brotherly love his call W
dug out the point and acted on IL.
nd what resulted? Why. the widow M
anted n tombstone to show that,
lille she should always mourn. she
ID married the man that owned the tn
III that gored No. ! 70 death. The 81
'od parson stood it rs long as he W
Md and then asked for n transfer A
And the tombstone? After year OF On
Mr. Thornton bought secondhand a..
o had the obituary chipped OF and -