The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-12-24

und twelt cement patches, und l gil
you 80 cents. | like dot shoe by I
o'clock. so | Il see my sister mar
RED"
"But don't you understands" l says.
"Of course | do. You like to get in
, ten barrels of shoe pegs. und so you
cut der price of cement patches in two
! to make room. it vhns ash plain as
; der legs on Il horse. Seven o'clock. re-
member"
Old Prtce Still Stands.
But cclnrnt patches >i'a> seefteen
cents
Not SO. Font YOU pellet | can read?
1t vhas half price. der same as II coon
skin mutT."
Don't you read of some tremendous
bargains in der papers!" | says.
"Of course | do. ! vhas always on
der lookout for bargains"
"Cnd when you got py dot store do
! you find dose bargains? OF course not.
It vhas a draw. All der bargains vhas
| shust sold oudt. und you buy some cor
| sets ut s."
4NOl d III VI ~ DUG says 0Su Su0
makes her arms 60 around. when l
go for bargains l get 'em or somepody
don't hat no hair left! l like to see
myself pay 81 for a corset when dey
vhas cut down to 63 cents to make
room for mating und oilcloth. Will
you put on does patches or shall l
break down dot stovepipe und make
you tired?"
She vhas some dangerous womans.
und If she makes a row I vhas arrest
ed. must put on dose patches or she
Will make troubles. und l work hard
all day to get dot shoe ready. 1t vhas
all cement patches, und l pellet l lose
half a dollar py It. shall take dot
sign down early in der morning, but
pefore | hat my breakfast SOMEBODY
thumps on der door. und when it vhas
open more ash ten men WALKS in. und
each one says:
"Cobbler. you may put a half price
patch on dis shoe"
But it vhas no half price," I says.
Warned Against Tricks.
Don't talk to us. Half price vhas
seven und a half cents. We vhas come
in before 1t vhas too late, und don't
you try some tricks on us!"
"Shentlemen, listen to me-" l says.
while my wife weeps und der baby
squalls. If somepody likes to make
room for tinware, do you get a necktie
for 10 cents? OF course not. When you
go down to buy You ind der ten cent
ties all gone, but some fine ones left
at seventy-f1fe. 1t vhas shust like dot
NIT cement patches. like to make
room for shoe pegs, but der seven und
a half patches vhas all gone"
"You vhas was some swindlers"
"You vhas some liars!"
you vhas some cheats!"
Dose men call me more ash one hoon-
cred names, und dey shump around till
I don't pellet l vhas alive two minutes
more. l try to explain how she vhas,
und vhas talking AWAY when dot fat
policeman come In und calls oudt:
"Now. py Jupiter, but What vhas all
dis row about?"
Sign Was Still Up.
Look at dot sign!" says a man.
"Yes. l see dot sign. 1t vhas bar
gains und spring booms und prices cut
in two. Come in pefore she vhas too
late"
"But she vhas too late already" l
says.
"Oh. she vhas? Maybe you vhas mis-
took. She may be too late for me to
come in for patches. but she Wasn't
too late for you to come out und let
me play NIT you! Cobbler, come
FORTH"
IBIS vhas my busy day"
But be took me py der neck und
WALKS m out, und he bangs me up by
der wall ten times und leafs me like q
dead man. When l can crawl in I lock
der door und takes dot sign down und
goes to bed. und when dot little tailor
m und knocks on der door und
likes to know II l can lend him two
hoonered dollars profit | groan and
weep und tell him to raus NIT him.