davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

OF MANNERS OF BEGGING

From the New York Sun.
It is good to know that the stern and
unbending Puritans of English, the guard
ians and janitors of its grammar, the
sticklers for the exactest mint and cum
min of it's syntax and style, that these
orthodox defenders are still at their task.
Here is one whom we welcome as an old
friend:
ITO the Editor of The Sun-Slr: In
your expressions of pleasure over the lit
tie letters of praise received by You now
and then you ought to be little more
OF a model in grammar: and you should
never allow the spirit of complaisance to
lead you into the use of bad grammar
merely because your correspondents are
guilty of it. In your editorial entitled,
Our Letter WRITER'S Mr.. Remick says:
I beg to offer a fervent Amen and you
follow it with, we beg to salute and
thank. Should not you and he have said,
respectively, We beg leave to salute and
to thank and I beg leave to offer fer
vent Amen? What you ayymay be COM
merciap English, but it surely is not good
English. JAMES v. f.. HART.
New York, December 2S.'
We respect a man who insists upon the
rigor of the game, but can nothing be I'M
pied and understood" can no phrase
or sentence appear in undress uniform,
musf each march in full regimentals? The
international Dictionary is more lepient
thar. our critic:
"'I beg to- is an elliptical expression
for 4 beg leave to- as 4 beg to inform
YOU
Bur we waive this protection. We beg
leave to salute and thank Mr. Hart. Ii
we prefer English with robes loosely
flowing. hair as free" is a certain "sweet
neglect more taketh'' us than "al the
aGulteries of art all the correction and
formality, we don't quarrel with those
who love a severer, more mathematical
maid, stiff in stay and bodice, voluminous
OF furbelows. Everybody to his taste: yet
everybody of taste must praise, even if he
doesn't share, that of Mr.. Hart. English
needs all its defenders; and 1t may well
be that ease often degenerates into sloven-
|liness
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
THE HUMoRIsT AFIELD

Charles Johnston, in Harper's Weekly.
1 love to linger over these small begin
nings of mighty things. 1t is as though
we surveyed the sources of the Mississippi
and then travelled down to New Orleans.
Which reminds me that / have a little
story of that fair city which will come in
most suitably here;
A ship says the Recorder, was recently
lying in the harbor of New>Orleans when.
an Irish emigrant came aboard and thus
addressed the cook, whose nationality the
recorder conscientiously explains. The
present teller of the tale Is not so candid,
but will leave the secret to be OWNED.
Said the emigrant: Are yez the mate?'
MOP responded he who was addressed.
"oi'm the man as cooks the mater
Which brings me inevitably to another
steamboat story. Not long since-the 2ar-
rator is speaking of 60 years ago-a stes an
boat called the Old Kentuck blew up, near
Trinity, at the mouth of the Ohio, by
which accident lady rejoicing in the
name of Jones lost her husband and her
trunk, for both of which an action was
brought There was, strange to say, great
difficulty in proving that the late Jones
nau peen on the DOat at the time or the
explosion, that worthy having been noto-
riously drunk on the wharfboat just as
the steamer left Trinity.
i Many witnesses were examined to prove
the fact, until finally Mr.. Deitzmar, a
German, was placed upon the stand Our
friend, James Smart, was attorney for the
boat, and elieited this testimony from Mr..
Deitzmar:
Mr. Deitzmer did you know the Old
Kentuck?'
Yah. was blown up nit her!"
Were you on board when she collapsed
her fiue?''
Ven she busted de biler? Yah, I vas
dare
did you know Mr.. Jones?'
ITO be sure. l took passage togedder
NIT him."
You did? When did you last see him
on board the boat?''
well, I didn't see Mr. Jones on. board
de boat last time,'
Mr.. Smart certain that he had won his
case, with triumphant glance at the
jury asked:
you did not? Well, Mr.. Deitzmer, when
last did you see Mr.. Jones?'
well, when de schmoke pipe and ma
vas goin' up, We met Mr.. Jones comm
down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
Another stnnnton Man

Few people who read Saturdays edi-
torial headed 'Staunton's Distinguished
Sons know that Birmingham can boast
of another in the person of Frank s.
Foster, product of Staunton and now
assistant cashier of the First National
bank" said a prominent citizen in public
life Woodrow Wilson, Charles Catlett
and John Jermain Porter may approach
closer to the hall of fame but not one
of them can excel him in certain traits
that the philosophers and religions of
all ages-Christian and pagan-have set
up as prerequisites to real greatness
'Sincerity, love of truth, integrity that
is infiexible, devotion to any trust, strong
and gentle dignity of demeanor, uncom-
planning patience under adversities, at
.tractive mooesty, self effacement toward
colleagues who push on ahead are all
his in a marked degree.
And all these coupled with strong in
tellect and nimble wit make him loved
by all within the small circle that he
never seeks to enlarge. No person ever
heard Frank Foster utter an unkind re-
mark or insinuation in regard to another
No person ever heard another make un-
generous mention Of Frank Foster. Tc
those who reach the hall Of fame can
finer things be said?
Good again for old Virginia!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Mr.. Tafts new home in New Haven
is hne' three-story brick mansion
built about 20 years ago by the then
president of the trolley company
Should he decide to buy 1t the price
will be $4,000. The house is in the
heart of the college community and al
the other end of the block north from
the Parmelee home is that of Timothy
Dwight, ex-president of Yale. Close by
are the homes of Walter Camp, the Yale
athletic leader; Prof. Henry W. Far
nam, the Yale economist; Prof. Edward
S. Dana, the eminent scientist, and only
a block east is President hadleys home
and that of Prof. William Lyon Phelps
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
A Striking Omission

II was looking at the editorial ar
ticles in The Age Herald this morning,
as / always do, and the one headed
Death Roll of the Old Year attracted
my attention." said a suburbaIkte yes
terday.
which included kings emperors, diplo-
mats, artists and authors, but by some
mischance or because the editorial
writer was inclined to be merciful and
did not want to bring unpleasant
things to mind the late republican party
was completely ignored. I think that
it should head the list of notable dead
in every instance"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
Democratic Simplicity and Humor

DemOcratlc simplicity anu uuihor
A sense of humor is a fine asset
for any man and the President elect
has it.
As an author Woodrow Wilson's
style is marked by clearness and well
rounded periods. He is luminous
writer. His "History of the Ameri-
can People" in five volumes is notably
brilliant and his earlier publications
--"Congressional Government, a Study
in American Politics." and "The
State"-instead of being dry, after
the manner of some of the older his
torians, are replete with literary
charm.
But it is only since Mr.. Wilson en-
tered the political arena that his sly
humor has cropped out. He began to
reveal waggish tendency when he
became governor of New Jersey and
as President he has shown him.
self to be humorist of the highest
order. A joker he often is but
the best of his humor is subtle rather
than broad. 1t is refined humor;
humor by suggestion rather than in
the form of the joke direct. Thus ii
is that his wit relative to the in
auguration produces a gentle smile
rather than loud laughter.
The President-elect is naturally
tickled over the Inauguration ques-
ton. The very act of taking the oath
of office-the greatest public office
in this worlds in itself sobering
The responsibility laid upon the
shoulders of the President-elect when
he repeats the prescribed form is far
greater than that assumed by any
king in coronation ceremony. And
Mr.. Wilson will be duly solemn when
he is inducted into office-"inaugu-
rated" as we call it.
In the meantime, however, Mr.. Will
son is jocose when the question OF
inauguration ceremonies is brought
up. One of his earliest pleasantries
after election was the intimation that
he might dispense with the presi
dental doorkeeper and let everybody
ln without introduction or formality
He next expressed himself in favor
Of paradeless inauguration-pro
vided it would be agreeable to tht
people and especially to the hote
keepers, meA lants and other inhabi
tants of the nations capital. Hi!
latest hint in relation to the in
auguration is that he would like t.
walk from his hotel to the capitol K
take the oath; intimating that h'
might do SO if it were not for thu
slow progress that he would make il
pushing through the crowds on Penn
sylvania avenue. Well, it would b.
funny to see President-elect walk
ing to the capitol on his Inauguration
day. Rather than do that it would b.
better to ride in a street car But Mr
Wilson will ride in state attended b.
Z splendid military escort just as hi
predecessors have done and as all hi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

tian Sabbath all right minded persons,
l am inclined to think, agree that we
need one day of rest in seven. and that
this rest day should be dedicated chiefly
to religious and social service. / never
ride on a street car nor on train on
Sunday but I think 1t is all right for peo-
pie who live too far from church to walk
or who need recreation to use the street
car, just as | think it is all right Tor
persons of musical taste to go to sun
day afternoon concert. l myself am de-
flcient in musical appreciation, but it is
a. noteworthy fact that all my relatives
in New England descended from May
flower stock, are no longer orthodox, but
Unitarian freethinkers. All of them are
disciples of Emerson rather than Christ
aud the apostles. The reaction against
the Puritan blue laws has resulted in this
so-called rationalsm-a freethinking re-
ligion; and yet 1 myself cling to orthodoxy
AMI many Puritan customs.
MY observation is, however, that
among those who attend Sunday concerts
and who ride on the street cars are found
men and women just as religious, just as
eager to help in the uplifting of humanity,
as those who still cling, theoretically at
least to the Puritan Sabbath. In the
modern encyclopedias the authors of Sab
bath articles lean to the rational idea of
Sunday observance just as did Luther,
Zwingli, Calvin, Cramer and Knox-'all
upholders of the more lax observance
which has widely obtained in the face of
positive laws But in the latter part of
the sixteenth century Puritan views be-
came established in England and from
Old England they came to New Eng
land.
"The late DR.. Funk, a scholarly divine
of the publishing firm of Funk & Wag-
nails, edited the Standard Encyclopedia,
which is the last encyclopedia issued, and
the Sabbath article in that authoritative
wcrk concludes thus: The last two gen.
erations have witnessed great change
10th of opinion and practice. There are
now in America and Britain Sunday
trains, trolleys and other conveyances; and
Sunday concerts, the opening of public
galleries and museums, and cycling, ETC.,
have become common. This movement to-
ward a more rational Sunday is spread
in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
A Plea for n Rest


THE public, the public en- passant,
particularly need to be protected from
the persistent and insistent passers of
the aims hat, figuratively speaking
said a citizen.
For weeks before the holidays the
collectors for charities, almost without
number. rang the bells. passed the tin
cup or the tambourine, solicited this
or that contribution or purchase for
sweet charity's sake, and most every
body gave something. Now, what l do
protest against is the bold and i'm
polite intrusion at the present time
christmas is over--of the collectors
for missions, charities, or charity
masle ed under street vending, 'butting
in where men are engaged in CONVEX
sation often of very important char
acter. A few days ago | stood upon a
prominent street corner talking with a
man whom I had been seeking and
who missed one car to discuss very
important deal with me, and no less
than two aims soliciting women and
three pedlers interrupted our conver-
sation inside of 10 minutes.
"And another thing / protest against
is women going into barrooms solicit
ing contributions and often parleying
with men who are not always mindful
of the proprieties Why don't they get
the suffrag gettes to dig down in their
pockets sometimes, anyway, and help
the cause? They are clamoring for a
mans part in affairs political and So
cial; they Will no doubt cheerfully
chip in when the hat is passed. At
least that is one of the privileges they
can share with those of us who are
pursued in hotel corridors, upon the
streets. in the cafes and in the saloons
by the everlasting street charity seek
ars
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES

A WISH.
Thrice Happy Heart,
I fain would go
Along with you,
Away from woe,
Ger hills and Wales
OF deathless song,
Where sweetest joys
Forever throng
And where the hues
OF morning stream
With all the splendor
OF a dream,
l fain would walk
Those shining ways,
Where Fancy in
Her freedom strays
And where no blossom
Ever dies,
Nor trammeled soul
In sorrow liesi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
REFLECTIONS or nACuELop

From the New York Press
Slip the first of the year, slide all the
rest.
girl is never conscious she is flirting
unless it's bore to her.
What makes gossip look like the truth
is for it to be impossible to be.
a woman keeps house expense ac-
count SO as never to be able to tell what
the money went for.
II a man could do anything outside OF
his regular work the way q woman can
make dress outside of hers, he'd ex-
pect to be elected President.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
Mr.. Rockefeller Accepts Service

Two great powers have come to
terms. An oil prince has accepted the
service of a subpoena, and the United
States stands pat if not content. The
dignity of the government is to some
extent at least preserved. The oil
prince declines to say where he is
at," or to say how much testifying he
will do before the Pujo committee.
The government begins to see it is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE JEFFERSON
COUNTY COURTHOUSE AND OTHER r1ATTERS

| improve conditions which were made for
the Birmingham of 20 years ago.
= y y
Senator Bankhead says that Birming-
ham should have postoffice occupying
an entire block and retain the present
government building for federal court
purposes and for the administration of
the office of the collector of internal
revenue and other governmental af-
fairs.
Senator Bankhead is correct. Birming-
ham is no longer small city. The ad-
ministration of its affairs requires ade-
auate space and cleanliness and santa
ton.
We all know that the United States
government will eventually do the correct
thing. Whatever 1t does will be well
done. The county government should act
eNt II hiiuaJ nave tie bupPOIA
of the people-and give us a courthouse
which will be adequate for the needs CT
this county.
Let the new board of revenue give this
matter thorough consideration, and, with
the members of the Bar association, de-
wise means and plans for doing the cor
rect thing. happen to know that with
out exception there is not judge on
the bench nor a practitioner at the bar
who does not endorse the idea of bet
ter accommodations and better build
ing facilities for the proper administra-
ton of justice.
All the financial reviews which have
been sent out by the banking houses
and business concerns centered in Wall
street during the past week are buoyant
and predict a remarkable year Of busi-
ness activity There seems to be no
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
view. Relating to sunday

az come from New Engla.d Puritan
stock, was brought up in Puritan at
moaphere and count myself something of
a Puritan today, but cannot help think
ing that some of my Christian friends
who take a broad view of life, and es-
pecially of the Sabbath question, are more
logical than we old time Puritans.' said
a pioneer citizen.
II was a Sunday school scholar nearly
50 years ago. My father was a man of
genuine piety, and his ideals were strong
ly Puritan. l was taught that it was
sinful to ride in stage coach, a street
Ger or on railway train on Sunday.
Reading Shakespeare. Scott or Dickens on
Sunday was strictly forbidden in our
household; likewise the reading of a
Sunday newspaper was forbidden. We
took a Sunday paper, but it was never
orened until Monday. The Sunday con-
cert had not been established in the city
where lived, but. of course. my parents
would not have attended nor allowed their
children to attend. firmly believed that
the only thing lawfully permitted to be
done on Sunday was to attend Sunday
school and church and read scripture and
Sunday school books. Well. I have no
criticism to make of strait laced folks
lust SO their lives be consistent. but what
wearies me and wearies most people is
cant and Hypocrisy JUNCTION with
out Christian charity and reasonable con-
sistency.
LAS to the various views of the Chris
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
ELATED.
WHY HE AwoKE.

The man awoke suddenly.
He heard a shower of iron spikes rat
ting down a tin roof.
Then fleet of screaming tugboats
steamed up the roaring river.
moment later trip hammer beat
a wild tattoo on boiler plate.
This was followed by the hoarse
snorting of hundred charging rhinos
BY this time the man was fully
awake.
He continued to listen.
Then he knew what had disturbed
him.
1t was a passing motor cycle.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Ciprlano Castro is a prisoner on Ellis
island, very much as Napoleon was at
and soon developed rare appetite. He
is in good health. thanks to the Ger
man surgeons who saved his life
through a difficult operation
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Eight thousand taxieabs are tied up
in London on account of a strike on
the part of the drivers, as they are called
in Lyndon. The drivers allege they
are unable to make living under an
agreement that they furnish their own
pertol.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

MATTER Of the utmost Importance
"A to the citizens of Birmingham and
"A JEFFERSON county is the renovation
or the rebuilding of its courthouse and
Jail.
and other reports show, that the Jefferson
county jail is a disgrace to its people. II
is too SMALL 1t is insanitary and is 20
years out of date.
The courthouse is even more nasty
Few people investigate a jail but every
citizen of importance must appear IN ms
county courthouse occasionally on one
business or another.
10 so into this courthouse one feels that
he is subjecting himself to the plague OF
some sort of an epidemic. Even the judges
themselves who sit on the various benches
TO QlSpeHsS JuStlSc helfS ~
comfort or convenience and nothing whlcn
could be characterized as sanitary. Ii
woman must appear as a witness in case
she must stand in the corridors along
with the dirtiest of witnesses in criminal
suits. There are not even decent rooms
or chambers in which attorneys can con-
suit with their clients. Consultations
must be held in the public corridors which
are usually packed with mass OF all
classes of humanity
Even the man or woman who goes to
nav his or her taxes must come IN con-
tact with everything that is unpleasant.
am not suggesting the method or the
amount to be put into new courthouse,
or the location of the same, but do know
as a citizen that everyone interested In
Birmingham and Jefferson county should
Immediately get behind the movement to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

apprehension whatever about tariff re- /
vision. Everyone seems to have conf
dence in the ability of Alabama's con-
gressman. Oscar w. Underwood. to han
die this question to the satisfaction and
best interest of the country at large.
This is indeed a compliment to Birn,ng-
hams representative in Congress.
full in the men who will dominate in the
solution of other problems his admins
tration will be a splendid success.
The newspapers of the country OF all
political faith are speculating on whether
or not Wilson can successfully walk the
tight rope extended between Bryan as
one post and Underwood as the other.
The New York Sun has very clever
cartoon setting forth this idea Other
newspapers are expressing fear that
Bryan will want to insist upon his poll
cies or disruption. The best opinion,
however, is that Wilson is firm enough
and diplomatic enough to either handle
Bryan or to oust him.
y y. y
regret that it now seems a certainty
that Underwood will not accept a cabi-
net position.
There is much talk about Congressman
Henry d. Clayton of Alabama for attor-
ney-general. 1t is understood, however.
that Mr.. Clayton prefers to remain as
chairman of tho judiciary committee OF
the House. Yet Mr.. Wilson needs able
men Of long legislative experience in his
cabinet and were he to hunt the world
over he could not get better or a
stronger man for this position than
Henry Clayton.
Ro.2o
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
STRICTLY INFORMAL

The social at Mr.. and Mrs. Stearn's
Wednesday night was not success on
account of the weather. Ye scribe and
Ed Mcclellan were the only men pres
ent, except Mr.. Stearns. With our boots
off in the old fashioned way. we sat
before the stove and talked about old
times as far back as the pole raising
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

The proposed penny subscription to
pay the fines imposed on three news
paper men in Idaho by a truculent and
tyrarnical court promises to become a
fifty thousand subscribers are needed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
MAKING A DISTINCTION

According to announcement, Scrib-
ber's latest book Is enjoying an i'm
mense sale"
Tut, tut The book, being an imam
innate object, could not enjoy anything,
although it is quite likely that Scrib-
Der and his publishers are enjoying
the sale, regardless of the suffering in
fiicted on a novel-reading public"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Live animals are barred in. the par
eel post. but the postma ster at Yon-
kers took as his first parcel a brindle
bulldog in a box. 1t is the only canine
that ever travelled by post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
CRUEL.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
Jane (jubilant over her first pie)--
Your mother never made your father
a pie like that. did she, John?
John (dubiously)-No. dear. Father
is still alive and hale and hearty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
HIGH .JINKS.

There were some lively doings in
Chicago on New Years eve, but the
young woman who hung by her feet
from the straps in an crowded trolley
car unquestionably stands-or rather
han gs---in a class by herself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

The January thaw is not an insti-
tuition in Alabama, especially in But
Ter county, where the farmers are
plowing and getting ready to put in
new crops. -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
AIR PURIFIED

From the New York Times.
The air of cellar of any dark store
room can be kept sweet by hanging
lamps of charcoal in net bags. Every
few weeks the charcoal should be
taken out.smade very hot and returned
to the bags
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

The world has no frisxier septua-
genarians than Morgan, Carnegie, Hill
and Rockefeller. They are full of
money and advice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

The suffragists went homo happy
from Albany on Hudson river express
train. The assurances of Governor
Sulzer cheered their horneward trip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05
LITERAL LOTTIE.

sIt is to laugh Iottie GOGGLES just
now said to another chorus girl, in a
dressing room, Spare my blushes!
sfou don't understand. The other girl
had been using Lottie's rouge pot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Montgomery will keep its baseball
franchise to the great joy and relief
of the remainder of the league. No
trips to Arkansas will be made this
year
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

The steam locomtives are beginning
to find their way to the junk pile.
The storage battery is doing better
work daily
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-05

Jim Hill is endeavoring to put st.
Paul ahead of Minneapolis in the bank
ing line even if he has to rob New
York and Chicago.