The Washington herald., 1913-05-09
NHERENT!LA LACK OF
MANNERS WILL OUT
Etiquette Books Fail to Prompt the
Gracious Things to Say
and Do.
by FRANCES sHAFFER

Shahce serves many a pretty trick upon
men aid women, and when it happened
no' SO long ago that happy turn OF
iortune placed a quite ordinary family
upon nrm financial footing they began
10 cast about for an easy ladder by
society.
And the first thing they thought about
was al book on etiquette! Because II
never would do IA betray the sorry truth
+ mat they really did not know the proper
things to do and the graceful things to
say 80 they bought a book, and then
they bought another and another; and
they pondeyed them faithfully and well,
!, so Wen that in due course of time they
\ had learEied their lessons to the last ex-
/ plicit letter.
4 They understood the etiquette on call
ing, just how many cards to leave how
long to- stay. how gracefully to retire,
how to entertain their guests and what
TO DO when hidden to stately dinner
or less formal function. They pains
!, takingfy studied the difficult art Of dress.
because, you know, appropriate attire on
every occasion tells so eloquent a story.
They figure out a lot of things they
never lad dreamed of before and did a
lot OF things that up to then had never
entered tseir heads to do.
But one thing they quite forgot.
Lost TrSrk of Important Thing.
They completely lost track of the i'm
portant fad that not even the proudest
king and qteen of social usage, nor IA
miiiarity with whole big library of eti-
lack of mantiers.
Because there are times in these turbu-
lent, changing lives of ours when nothing
but the promptings of the heart can de-
eide the gracious things to say and to do.
And manners, the kind that make of men
and women real kings and queens-is it
not the heart that decides what they
shall be?
Etiquette must be learned, line upon
line and precept upon precept; manners
somehow just grow, when the heart is
right, and Indicate, the quality of nature
down below the surface.
=. The heart cannot whisper to an ur-
trained man how to conduct himself az
cording to social usage; that must be
learned in books or by way Of example.
But the heart can whisper to the I'M
trained man how to conduct hiLself in
such way that his judges will know that
manners ;Eere almost born with him-that
is, unless something is wrong with his
Becaute the etiquette of yesterday may
be guide uncouth today; and the Ell
quette Of tomorrow may be unlike any
think that has gone before. For rules
of etiqhette change with the times, and
prescribed by a set of social some
bodies. ( But good manners. as somebody
puts it may be developed in the des-
ert for use I'm the world and they re-
main good manners for all time.
Would Think Them Gid Fashioned.
If 1t could happen that some OF the
COURT" folk who lived and were radiant
in the world many generations ago could
step in our midst with the strange Gus
te-IA and etiquette that prevailed in
those bygone days, we probably would
smile quite bit and we might declare
that they had very ''old-fashoned man.
ners."
But when We had caught our second
breath and when we had listened and
watched for awhile. We would know very
well that, while arbitrary rulings had
completely changed, there were all the
familiar marks of good breeding, and
that their courtly manners were courtly |
still. For whatever the time, wherever
the place, courtly manners and real po- |
likeness are always and everywhere the
same. Our social machinery brings about
many strange changes but 1t never can
strike at the real heart of royal man.
ners, for they need not wait for IRON |
clad rules.
Long familiarity with the rulings of
etiquette may trim off some of the ugly |
corners OF a genuine boor, but nothing
can change his british heart.
And, yoI know, if we were wise enough |
TO see il, no lack OF training in the |
school of etiquette and no lack Of tutor
ing in the superficial niceties of life can |
possibly destroy the proud fact that
some of The humblest men and women |
today, diggers among men and toilers
among women, have simple, natural /