davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
Uncle Gregory; 81 never drink
coffee; it gives me the hiccups."
After the dinner was over
Behind the
Prison Walls
Continued from Preceding Page.)

ished, and up got the 500 members of
the Gentlemen's s Country club, to live
as best they might through one day
more; coughing, hawking, splitting,
murmuring-b all with sense Of re-
preston in it, the ife-sapping drug of
fear In its origin, but long since be-
come mechanical habit with most of
them. Eight hundred criminals, herded
beneath one roof to be cured Of their
crimes by indifferent or threatening
and hostile task-masters and irresponsi-
BILE discipline mongers, and by associa-
tion with one another regiment of
he'll to extirpate deviltryl The twen-
tieth century solution of the problem
of evil, unaTtered in principle after
thousands of years!
Civilization has progressed wonder,
fully, but always with this death house
on its back. And the death house gets
bigger and more populous every year.
Reformers, exhorters, Christian Endeav-
orers, humanitarians, Salvation Armies,
social reformers, penalogists, scientific
cxperimentalists with surgical appara-
tus, together with parole laws, indeter-
inmate sentences, communications, par
dons, not TO speak of a good warden
here and there and kind guard-all
toiling and tinkering TO make prisons
better, to sweep them, to air them, to
instill religion and education, to sup
ply work and exercise and to pay
criminals gets larger and the accommo-
dations for them less adequate. What
can be the matter9 Are we to end by
discovering that everybody is Grim.
inal, and ripe for jaIlq or shall we be
driven to the realization that the fun
damental idea itself Of Imprisonment
for crime IS itself the most monstrous
of crimes-and try something else7
What else is there TO be tried3 Are
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
Our Final Rites of Initiation.

At the expiration of the half hour we
laid aside our pipes, or our prayer
books, and were ready for the activities
of the day. The others were detailed
to their regular work; but my friend
and ! had our final rites of initiation
still to undergo. A young official,
whose countenance readily if not
habitually assumed sullen and menac
ing expression, beckoned to us with
his club, and we followed him down
stairs to an elevator, in which he
ascended to the upper floor, while we
pursued HIM upward by way of the
staircase. The cap of Mr.. 1vy-such
was his poetic given name-wes worn
on the extreme rear projection of his
head, and he used his club in place Of
speech; not that he actually pummelled
us with it, but by wavings and
pointings he made it indicate his will,
and kept us mindful how easily we
might afford him pretext for putting
it TO more normal use.
Mr.. Ivy conducted us to a bench out
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
The Sauce for Prison Meals.

There viii be time enough to discuss
these riddles. 10 is time now to get in
to your prison suit, with the ''U. $.
Z. on the back of the coat, and your
number it's "U. S. P.'' on the back
of the shirt. with your number, it
"U. s, P.'i on The front of your trous-
er legs. and your number: your can
vas shoes and your visorcd cap. But
beware OF putting on the cap within
prison walls, lest the guard report you
to tho captain, the captain to the dep
uty, the deputy, if necessary, to the
warden, and ye be cast into the inner
darkness. There shall there be thin
slices of bread, and water. and gDasb-
ing Of teeth.
With guard acting rs convict com
peller, we shufaed in continuous line
down the iron stairways and across the
hall into the dining-room, cement
foored, barred window desert sown with
tables in rows. seating eight men each;
guards with clubs standing ut coignes
of vantage or pacing up and down the
the whole room, guard with a loaded
rife, licensed TO shoot down any mis-
behaver. At no time and in no part OF
this model Jail are you out of range of
loaded rifle, in the hands of men
quick and skillful in their use. They
are the sauce for meals and the en-
coura cement to labor.
L will postpone to a future article the
subject Of the dining-room and what is
done there. AS we filed out l noticed
ERRY CHRISTMAS an
"HAPPY NEW YEAR. emblazoned
in green above the door. It was to re-
mind US, perhaps, of what we lost By
being criminals. AS We debouched into
the inner hall, separated from the cor.
ridor leading to the warden g Office, and
to freedom, by steel-barred gate, we
saw guard seated in a chair with a
rifle across his knees, Rats in steel
trap might have mutinied with as much
hope Of success as we at that juncture;
but the convicts must not be allowed
to forget that they are in prison. We
were rounded into our cells and locked
up for half an hour, during which we
might smoke the tobacco supplied to
the prison by contract; or we might
read, or comb our hair, or do cal
isthonics, or invoke the divine blessing
upon the labors Of the coming day. The
interval is really provided as a measure
of security; many of the prisoners do
their work outside the main buildings;
but it is deemed unsafe to unlock the
outer gates while the whole body of
prisoners is on the move.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
The Weight That Breaks.

My friend and |. our ordeal com
pleted, were returned to our cells TO
think IL over. The walls and ceiling OF
the cells are painted light gray color;
IT is against the rules, except by spe-
cial indulgence, TO affix pictures or
other objects TO them. The coddling
of criminals so widely advertised,
does not include permission to give
homellke look to their perennial quar-
ters; it is more conducive to moral re
form that they should contemplate a
painted steel.
There was one camp stool in our
cell; later, cells were supplied with two
wooden chairs, the backs sloping at
such an angle with the backs as render
ing similar contrivances in old English
cathedrals, relics OF a day when monks
had to be kept, .fEom falling asleep
during the religions rites. We might
also sit upon the lower bunk, bent for
ward IN such an attitude as would
avert humping our heads against the
upper one.
Each convict, early in his sojourn,
has a religious interview with the
of the New Tostament-not also of the
Old. One may get other books Of
secular kind from the library, upon
written application; and prisoners of
the first grade may subscribe for news
papers that contain no Objectionable
matter. But only small proportion OF
the inmates is addicted TO reading, and
the opportunities for doing go are lin
tied. And as months and years 20 by,
the desolation and sterility of the place
weigh heavier upon the spirit, the mind
reduces it's radius and grows inert, and
stimuIants stronger than current fic-
tion are needed to rouse it.
Prison, prison, prison; steel walls
and gratings; two predestinate screech-
ings and clangings of whistles and
gongs; the endless filings TO and fro, In
and out; the stealthy insolence OF
guards; or their treacherous good-fsl-
lowship; the abstracted or menacing
gaze of higher officials; the dreariness,
aimlessness, and sometimes the severity
of the daily labor; the sullen threat OF
the loaded rifles; the hollow, echoing
spaces that shut out hope; the thought
of the sitting stencil of the dungeons
beneath the payements, hidden from all
save the victims, whose very existence
is officially denied: the closing OF all
personal communication with the outer
TO the whims of the official censors;
this morgue Of human beings still alive
the impenetrable stupidity and futll-
ity of it all-slowly or not 80 slowly
unbalance the mind and corrupt the
nature.
Copyright, 1913. by the Wheeler Syn
dicate Inc)
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

Gle Peter, anxious to prove the
soups innocence.
"Booyon," corrected Aunt
Martha in a stage whisper to
Uncle Peter.
Here" said the Doctor, ex-
amining his spoonful critically,
"here are traces Of hydrophos-
pilates and about ten per cent
philharmonic acid"
u never eat SOUP" gurgled
Uncle Greg, because it's a
waste of good space"
The Doctor said nothing more,
but quietly surrounded his soup.
When the fish was served the
Doctor danced over his plate
with his fork and said, Hydro
static acid with here and there
symptoms Of manganese germs
and a few sulphide microbes"
Uncle Gregory pushed his
plate back with a sigh that was
pitiful to hear.
Peaches was now so nervous
that her hands were doing a
shaker duet, and there was a
bright pink spot on each cheek.
The others at the table, with
the exception of nervous old
Uncle Gregory, paid not the
slightest attention to Doctor
Busyface.
Even Uncle Peter threw away
his germ fear after the clam cpl
sode, and took a long chance
with everything from soup to
nuts.
Next we had some turkey
with mashed potatoes, green
peas and asparagus tips.
When Uncle Gregory saw all
this his face broke out in a
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

ory were the only ones at the
table who seemed to take the
Doctor seriously.
Uncle Peter listened with
marked attention, while Uncle
Gregory glanced at his clans
and shuddered.
The Doctor ate his uncon-
cernedly-
When the soup came on the
Doc lifted a spoonful thought
fully, then sloshed it slowly
back into his plate, while the
two old Unkies eyed him ner-
vously.
"It's bullyon, whispered I'm
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

party were arriving and the
mad revel was on.
Uncle Peter brought friend
with him-the famous food ex-
pert, Doctor Smotherjoy.
The Doctor is a High Card
with Uncle Peter.
He is one Of those old ginks
with beady eyes and a license
to hunt for germs, and every
thing he eats has first to give
the countersign and then go
through a written examination.
He loves to display his scien-
tific knowledge and put Latin
crimps into low foreheads.
Uncle Peter believes every
word that leaves Doc Smother
joys face, but for my part l
think he's an old Camembert.
At any rate, no sooner were
we seated at the table than Doc
parted his whiskers carefully,
coughed to attract attention,
then picked up a little-neck
clam on the end of his fork and
proceeded to give it the third
degree.
"The adulteration of food
stuffs these days is being car
Tied on to an extent worse than
criminal" the old fluff began
solemnly. "Ah, even here I see
traces of sally-sillic acid with
borax-phosphos-even here on
this clam"
"Put a little tabasco on it and
cut loose" suggested Bud Haw-
ley,
''Have a lemon" said Hep.
Squeeze it over the clans and
make a wish"
Uncle Peter and Uncle Greg
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

smile, and we could see his ap-
petite roll up its sleeves.
"In this" the Doctor began
again, holding up a turkey wing
on his fork, Gin this we have a
cold storage turkey which has
been treated with oxalic acid and
chloride of potassium to keep it
in a shivering state"
Pardon me, Doctor" ex-
claimed Peaches, Indignantly,
''but it isn't a cold storage tur-
key, because it was sent me as a
present by some friends on Long
Island only this morning"
Possibly" went On Caterpil-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

lar Charlie, possibly my hur-
ried diagnosis was at fault, but
we can never be sure about these
things, because here, on the ell
bow of the wing, I find traces of
calisthenic acid over the mem
branes."
mo, thank you," said Uncle
Gregory, 'T never eat turkey; it
gives me the heartburn" And
the poor old guy struck such a
note of hunger that | wanted to
throw that dam doctor out of
the window.
By this time several others at
the table were becoming more
or less impressed, and the din
ner party was beginning to as
sumo the cheerful aspect of a
meeting of martyrs an hour be-
fore the arena opened.
"Please pass me some mashed
potatoes" whispered Uncle
Gregory after the pangs of hun
ger had beaten him to the ropes.
Here we find" croaked the
Doctor, raising a forkful of
mashed potatoes, "here we find
! one Of the most evil effects of
food adulteration. This potato
was grown in the fall of the
year 1889, but it has been
washed in alum water to give it
the appearance Of being modern,
while its eyes have been treated
with belladonna to make them
bright and snappy."
Uncle Gregory groaned pa
thetically, and the rest of us, out
of politeness, tried to look inter-
ested, but only succeeded in
looking seasick.
When the ice cream and cake
were brought on Doctor Smoth-
erjoy drove his spoon down deep
into the chocolate and vanilla
mixed and said, 'Here is a pitt
full illustration of what dishon-
est tradesmen will do for money.
Here we find that some of this
ice cream was pale originally,
but it was treated with aniline
dye to give it this chocolate eff
feet, and then baked in the sun
to deceive the eye. On the 9TH
er hand, we find this vanilla was
originally dark and forbidding,
but it has been treated with per-
oxide of hydrogen to make it
more of a blonde"
pardon me, Doctor" snapped
Peaches, her teeth chattering
with nervousness, "but this ice
cream was made in our own
kitchen by our own cook with
first-class cream, and we never
have any but homemade ice
cream, so therel"
"Ah," said the Doctor, "then
in that case it must be traces of
thanatopsis which | see, and the
evidence is conclusive that a
great deal of artificial frappe
has been used, nevertheless"
"No, thank you," said Uncle
Gregory, 81 never eat ice cream
because it goes to my head and
makes me cold to my friends"
''Take this coffee, for in
stance" chortled the Doctor,
Juggling spoonful with the left
hand and four Jumps of sugar
with the right. Herein you
will find copper salts, iodide of
chicory, a four per cent solution
of gladiolus, together with about
a sixteenth of grain of mocha
to the cupful."
mo, thank you," gasped
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
By Geo. v. Hobart

Uncle Gregory took me outside
and whispered, John, for the
love of blissful Heaven, the
next time you give a dinner
party cut out that bug doctor,
or let me wear ear muffsi'
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21
SEEING LIFE WITH JOHN H[EMRY
Henry's Christmas
Dinner.

u it from me, dodgin1
h. buggies on the boule
IS sleepy work in compari
lend wife concluded it was
4 ia to squeeze a few un.
md aunts into our 4 by 8
g room and throw turkey
4 at them, so ] coaXed my
.us system to behave and
Peaches to cut loose.
1, sat down and invited I'm
psier Grant and Aunt Mar
lJncIe Gregory Smith and
/ Bessie. Then she went in,
mother look at the dining
, and stopped.
invited Bud Hawley, his
Sybil, and Hep Hardy and
med to them that we
aIl have to sit edge-on at
Bile and get our meat cut
a Kitchen so as to avoid
n each other on the funny
and it was so ordered.
B arrived early. He al
/. does. He generally
|es in with the information
Tour pages of tango music
Faiting for him in some
Dalace and he has to hurry
\ but on this occasion he
included to fight to the fin
bile we sat waiting for the
3 ring | had to tell him all
1.-THE rest of the cast. "Un-
er," | explained, fused to
money-coaXer in Wall
in the palmy days before
|atheads turned it into a
at farm. He was one Of
Old ginks with mucilage
|e mitts-you couldn't drag
noney away from him with
airing it. Finally he got so
That he used to trip and
|ver the days winnings
he tried to lock up shop in
|Fening. He then decided
|lld a fort around his rake
b he grabbed his lid, shook
|ay to the Street, and
d for the woods"
PTS have 62 bars rest on
pncle Peter solo," Hep put
realize that he's the man
invented money and then
|pwn hard Oh his invention,
Why tease ourselves by
|llg around the mint when
RfeS are all locked ~
|ep, you give me a pain in
'alst," | got back; "ever
you fell in love with Jessie
you've done nothing but
around and throw the
per at Uncle Peter. The
mat Jessie's Uncle William
and Peter Grand are an
enemies doesn't give you
Qght to jab the harpoon
my favorite uncle. What
|ou trying to do, cook up
q those Kentucky feuds
q make good with Jessie ?"
|R on the feud thing" Hep
|ea uneasily, "but you
Lemember, John, that I'm
nam Gray was the author
Few fancy financial stunts
street before he crawled
INTO the high grass to
PIG Peter Grant wasn't
cuckoo on the curb in
days"
W Uncle Peter put it all
Dil Gray every time they
Invent back. Every
tney clinched Uncle Peter
push Bill Gray under
re and hit him with the
nation. Old Bill Gray is
an imitation financier,
evsr ne lost two dollars
ue the office boy jab the
rmic needle into his
der In order to put
sn enough in his arm tc
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

Peaches hasn't spoken sem
sible word since that bitter
evening.
Can you blame her?
copyright. 1913 BY the Mcclure News
paper SyndicdteD
thii dramatic and stage rights reserved
hy tie author.I
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-21

We to leave criminals TO their liberty
among the community!
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
YOUR FRECKLES
Need Attention in February and
March or Face Nav STAY
Covered.

Now Is the time to take special
car. Of the complexion II you wish 1t
to look well the rest OF the year. Tho
February and March winds hay" a
strong tendency 10 bring out frorhlns
that may stay all Summer unless r.
moved. Now Is the time to use 9th
lEc-doubie strength.
This prescription for tho removal
OF freckles Is the discovery OF an
eminent skin. specialist. and is 80
uniformly successful that IL Is sold
by the iinusman Drug Co. under
guarantee to refund tho money II II
fails. Get an ounce OF othinc-
double strength. and oven few ap-
plIcaiions should show wonderful
improvement some Of the sipl!!sr
freckles even vanishing entirely. '-
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
City League to
Organize Tonight

The Trinidad City league Will bc
organized at n meeting TO br held TO-
night at the Chamber OF Commerce.
Al this mecaing u board OF directors
will he elected and officers and tho
teams that will make up tho league
viii! present applications. A commit
tee will be appointed 10 draft u srhc-
duie for the league season and all
committees appointed ut the meeting
In February will report. So far six
teams have announced their Intention
Of Joining the league. the Red Sox.
Brewers. th. Posioffice. Printers.
Butchers and Robson Wright. II IL
understood that the local electric
company will enter a team and may
he the e. & 8. aggregation will come
in. thus making eight teaUn.
A full attendance Is looked for To-
night MS the various teams are all
anxious to get Into practice and the
adoption Of schedule viii desIg-
nate u definite date for opening the
season. Each team tha; Joins tho lea
que will submit list OF names oi
players. Ths meeting will he called
10 order AT : o'clock.
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
WIFE OF DENVER RABBI
DIES OF INJURIES

Denver. Colo. March 2l.-Mrs.
Elizabeth Arager. G.. widow of Rah-
bi solomon Arager. one" u leader Of
the Jewish faith In the west. dIcd
vest. rday from burns received wh"u
she accidentally overturned lamr
In her apartment. The fire was dis
covered by TWO girls. Annie Iasscrt
and Margaret Hansen. who broke in
to the blazing room and dragged tn"
aged woman out. bu, too late 40 sny"
her life. Mrs. Aragcr had been de-
pendent upon Jewish relief socicti"s
during the last years OF her life.
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
Wan, Weary
ID Wen 0ut
II You Feel Fassed to q Fin.
ish and Utterly Used Up
Here is Quick Relief.
Don't bs Chslnsd 70 ths HitehlaG
Post Of WoaSylaad.

Hail the people you meet complain of
weary inl!Sclts. xtaSnant brain. JanSied
nerves. and = mournful desirs to lay
down Gnd just quit. Aost OF these people
have been using Hssvtnss that srssrnod.
iealiy fare up the nerves only TO die
down again. as die they must. Avoid
nerve stlmuiants. Rear 10 mind that this
worn out feeling is due to poor blood
to bacteria In Tho water you drink; "a
the muitIpIyln. Of destructive germs Ia
the blood faster than they can be ovsf'
come by the white corpuscies: and "a
what I. known as auto.toxssnis. that eoa'
dI,ion whore the vsnous or impure blood
accumuiates faster than u can b re-
placed BY The red srts.Ist blood.
II your feel played out Eo tn sny d-ua
store and ask fus bhtu~ al y. x. s.,
SrIn's Sure Specific. Here IL . remedy
that gets at work In - twinkiInk: II just
naturally rushes right Into your blood,
scaiierr germs right and leff. up ard
down and s.leway..
You feel better a, once. not from Z
s;i,nuiant. not from the action az drugs,
Lut from the rational snsc, Of u natural
medicine Just Il. active and just a. time
ly .s to y man wto has been iost 10 ths
mountains. 4. about starved and coniel
across 4 settler Just cooking . ssvory
meal OF good honest beef. To not mcgee:
to ~, a bottle OF :. s. s. today. II vi"
unks you feel better In just u Few MIN
u,e.. I, ls prepared only In the lan"ra.
tory az The swlf, Specific Co. 1:' swf'
p,sr Atlanta, Ga. Send for their iree
hook t~i,Ir. Of the many strange enha,'
lion. ina, annie, the human Family ny
rra,sa Of impoverished blood
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
SECTION HAND HELD
FOR NOLAN KILLING

The death OF Patrick Nolan. sec
iion foreman OF the Z. a ;. railroad.
at Lynn, who did yesterday at the
hospital. was found to have been
caused by u severe blow on the head. /.
by the coroncr's Jury that pyobcd the
kiiiinEkiliing this afternoon. rhc
verdict found IN. killing 10 have
been fclonious on tn. part or Nlch-
oias I.aras. section hand. who Is In
the county jail. The Assault Wa.
committed near Lynn on February
10.
The assaui; which ended In the
death OF Nolan. was the result OF an
alteration between Nolan and Lara
according to testimony Of witnesses
nj the inquest. William Corbcit. en-
gineer OF &. & s. No. 10. who was
looking out OF the cab window. ties.
titled he saw the gang working near
the traks and saw Nolan stoop down.
The next he saw was Nolan
stretched out. lie took the wounded
man to the section house and then
to his home. He did not see tho
blow delivered.
County Physician Perry Iaffa who
conducted the post mortem eNamin.
alton yesterday. described the nature
and location OF the wounds and stat.
ed that Nolan had died from u hem.
orrhagc resulting from blow.
e. r.. Roper. u brakeman on No.
10. who was an eye witness. was not
present hut his deposition was read
by District Attorney Hendrick. Rop-
or stated that he had seen Nolan and
n member Of the gang talking and
tina, Nolan dropped one mitt.n and
that when he stopped TO pick II M
the man hit him with shovel.
Lara was captured few minutes
after the assault and has been in the
county Jail. \ charge OF murder has
been filed against him.
The German Typographical union
has now $1,000 members. 90 per cent
of all the nrinicrs en- mnloveI
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
A GOOD COUGH MEDI.
CINE FOR CHILDREN

Convincing proor OF the rare cur
ative properties of Chamberlain
Cough Remedy came from Mrs. Mary
.'awcett OF Grinnell. Iowa, who says
"Chamberlain's Cough Remedy help
ed my little boy great deal when
he had whooping cough. 1t Is q good
medicine" For sale by all dealers.
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
HEAVY LOSS OF
i llff AND PROPERTY
lCoutiuusd fron 0sss osoS

Louis. due here al 2:'3 n. IN. was
nearly six hours late. being caught
between Muriresboro and Winsland
In maze OF tangled wires. to cut
which required Two and half hours.
Louisville and Nashville train No
4, from New Orisains was swept by
u fallen tree and eighteen car win
dnws shattered.
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
F1REMEN WEAVE sHAWIS

Members OF the Syracuse fire de.
partment have found n unique way
OF converting leisure time into pro.
fit. They make fine Shetland shawls
weaving them on q large wooden
frame. The first shawl completed was
as soft as silk. and perfectly made.
Three more are now under way. The
idea has. OF course, the APPROVAL Of the
fire-department heads.
The chronicle=news., 1913-03-21
CHRONIC CONSTIPATION CURED

~ had been troubled with chronic
constipation for two years and tried
oil the best physicians IN Bristol.
Tenn. and they could do nothing for
me. Two packages OF Cbamberlain's
Tablets cured me- writes Thoa. f.
Williams. OF Middieboro. Ky. For
sale BY all dealers.