New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-17
AS | WAS SAYING

We refuse to STAY snubbed. In all this discussion
of armored PulImans immigrant cars as OUTFITS anu
other bewtching devices for preventing hassa'ie
after its occurrence wisdom fthoush inc oeet !"
the house, by jingoD has not been uhcorAeu' nut
are crushed?
On ,ho contrary we are exceedingly playful and
"snreadinp oursef like a green bay horse. For
eventually they will come around to our idea
Which is?
A lookout man for every locomotive. the same as
on ships
The only solution, brethren. Engineers are pes
tered with their engineering. hremen WIFI ueir
firing And they feel secure. They nave niue ouii-
osity concerning what's ahead Al pihch tneS 'ai
jump dodge behind the boiler or select in'e sun
hiding place among the coal.
Wanted: A third man, whose sole. exclusive pas
sion is to watch out for Hail Columbia large guam
titles Of which are always at hand.
Superhcial thinkers will doubtless ask, How are
YOU going TO make your lookout man look OUT?
This is where profundty comes In. we tIrhish
our man an intense curiosity by placing nm III
glass case Just above the cowcacher and chainihs
him to his post.
As FOR the objections We hear-that II VIII DC
difficult to find a daredevil plucky enough TOT ''e
job and that, shared. he VIII demand pro-
hibitive salary-these, believe US, are mere academic
nothing We obtain him from Sing Sing
Hearing that Professor Munstcrberg would not
mipce words" we flung ourself upon his article last
Sunday with a noble zest and found II as aoNer-
tised" Glorious though the best has come since.
on reflection we have glimpsed the road to sud
den wealth but not piggish. step up seh'Ie-
men Get in on the ground floor. Our concern VIII
astonish the market with novel conmodity-
minced words.
consumers will simply tear them from us." as
the French say. and careful survey OF the field re
yeals an inspiring absence Of competition. We shall
be trust from the very kickoff
And speaking OF kick-ons. We reminded OF
that peppery appreciation OF Mr. James J. Corbett in
'Pearson's" and more particularly Of his estimate
Of football conhded to us in an enchanting inter
view
He compafed IT with pugsm Imagine prize
fight with eleven bruisers slice and conducted IN
heaps Imagine przehght where kicking. buttins'
kneeng biting and punching below the belt have
every chance to go Undecided. That Is football
thinks Gentleman Jim. They keep asking me TO
play but | haven't the courage
AT was in his dressing room that Brother Jim
emitted these condolences and At the moment he was
. magnificent nude. Look me over he said.
Notice any scars"
We noticed characterization. Apart from this he
was as beautiful as paragraph, and we thought he
turned the argument fairly neatly when he said:
Ever see a football man with skin like mine?
Well, then"
The Sweet Young Thing is off for boarding school
and we understand from her mother that the in
stituon Is one OF those sanctihed temples or learn
ing founded to train up wives for missionaries
il Is vet day For we have watched a boarding
school Of that type and know its history-oh so
at the start, yet, Lordy Lordy! what
changes have ensued!
At present, whenever Dorothy or Gladys becomes
obstreperous and ungovernable, there arrives
maiden aunt who says TO the little terrors mothers
Just the remedy, my dear. Send her 20 that lovely
school at --. The spiritual atmosphere the lofty
Ideals the santliness. you know. In my day prac-
tically all the girls married missionaries
Thus it comes to pass that the sanctified temple
" learning at IL attended almost exclusively
by ncorrigibles Beware, Time works its foxy
miracles even in boarding schools. and we should
not exempt them from the criticism implied in the
star boarder's address 10 the spring chicken:
The spring is all sprung out OF you,
So listen when / say
1T is not what have been. but
It's what we to-day"