New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-13
AS | WAS SAYING

There arc 1sl74G9 Holsters in New York, but IT Is
impossible TO enjoy them. You will see people pre-
tending TO. You will hear laughter and gay talk
Nevertheless. every heart aches.
For the nobler of the word. the lobster Is
not eaten lie is merely puttered with-gone at tim
idly. hypocrtcally. and all too sothfplly. The best
of him escapes With the world looking on, even
heroes shrink from closing In the lobster with the
fine passionate ooth-and-nan. barbarIc fanaticsm
the prophecies demand Though the spirit Is VIKING
The flesh is weak.
All but wait Wait TIL they open the magnificent
new lobster palace that is now near completion
Choice 81 aliases entering. For each guest, n tan
screen entirely surrounding him. Full orchestra 10
dcaden tho sound. Bath. laundry and repair shop
with every table High-minded management. so
that no one need fear blackmail.
Now YOU Just take tho Postonice." said the So
cialist lecturer last evening. and I'm fash we sa"
the turtle that viii socialism. Present that
paragon Of applied socialism to the Guggenheims.
who was II We had in mind when clipped these
sentences from Ambassador Pages farewell ad-
dress? THE magazine have edited viii not STAND
for the present administration Its function has not
been TO stand for any administration or any amoas-
sador | leave it free to deal with me in my new
capacity as it sees nt." Why. sure enough. we re-
mcmber-Mr. Bryan. 'Commoner Please copy
Seated beside beautiful brook in "Harper's
Weekly" the small boy says Fishing? Nope
Drowning a worm" Heartless. Cruel! When sim
Harry occupied teaching our worm to swim
Every man over forty liz a scoundrel" said Shaw
and even President Lowell IL inclined to agree with
him little. Send man to college at forty and he
will 20 to the dogs" Time rummaged in the
waste basket for that too hastily discarded aphorism
of ours, The young die good
In vaudeville said Bn to stiff: What must a
man be 10 he dvorcedT
said stiff to Bin: Give It up"
Said BIZ to stiff: "He must be married"
And stu the very same Episcopal clergymen who
frown upon divorce enerGetically are banding
themselves together to stir up more and more mar
riages However we side with the clergy. Prices
are rising and marriage brings economy within the
reach Of all You save money by doubling expenses
Iunched at the McAlpin with our largest playing
card man and swore eternal friendship. Mm-m IN!
And TO think that only few years ago we avoided
him to protect our interests! This teaches that
the game OF bridge is great. great blessing. In
the old days the same packs OF cards would do for
marty after party. Business dull. But now that
fresh packs are served sealed each time the playing
acauaintances. Refreshing. very-almost as re-
freshing is the spectacle OF sealed packs.
Whew, Here is Professor william Howard TAFT
acting as advisory counsel for the Cincinnati South
ern. Corporation lawyer!
100000 Californians. and only 1000 Japanese
all told. That explains.
There is nothing bellicose as Peace. Pulls noses
DR. Abbotts one day, the German eagles the next
We guess we know who can protect the Doctor
against Peace but II looks dark, indeed, for that
moor old fowl The minute spend century not
fighting England we have to help her fight Ger
many Must be So for the Germans say it, and they
are great logicans
Mr.. Glover has apologized, and Congressman Sims
Is avenged but.it remains for Congressman Thomas
IN eat his verbiage. Sims" said he "is blessed
with an abnormal abdominal protuberance." As II
that were not In itself a temptation? Never trust
an abnormal abdominal prouberance to shield
vou We once saw a batsman thus blessed, and We
saw him hit precisely there, I'm cold blood and with
malice aforethought by pitched ball. After the
game he made representations to the pitcher. No
pol Perfectly fair ball. old man. Right over the
Mate" Which was alike interesting and true.
r. l. II.