Mexico weekly ledger., 1913-03-06
UNPUBLISHED LETTER FROM

TWAIN FOUND IN LEDGER.
A letter from Mark Twain. Mis-
souri's great humorist, on Woman
Suffrage, vas recently found in
copy of the Mexico Missouri Ledger
of April s, 1867. by the Hon. George
Robertson, when he was securing
data for his history on Audrain coun-
ty. He wrote Harper Bros. who pub
lished MIR, Clemens works, and they
reply that the letter has never been
incorporated in any Of his books. The
letter follows, with editorial note, jus
as 1t appeared in the Ledger:
Weekly Missouri Ledger, April s.
1867.
FEMALE SUFFRAGE-Mark Twain
is out against allowing the woman TO
vote. He says that IL the elective
franchise be conferred upon the fem
mime gender in the commonwealth,
they would let go everything and run
a State millinery, and instead OF vot.
ing each others political antecedents
as men do. they viii go straight af-
ter each others private moral char
acter.
Il know them-they are all like
my wife) Before the canvass was
three days old. It would be an estab-
hshed proposition that every oma
in the State was mo better than she
ought to be" Only think how It
would lacerate me 10 have an oppo-
sltion candidate say that about my
wife. That Is the idea, you know -
having other people say these hard
things. Now. I know that my wife
isn't any better than she ought to
be. poor devil, in fact, in matters
Of orthodox doctrine, she is particu-
larry shaky-but still / wouldn't Ike
these things aired in a political con
test don't really suppose that won
an will stand any more show hereaf-
ter than-however, she may improve
she may even become a beacon light
o the saving of others-but IL she
does. she will burn rather dim, and
she viii flicker a great deal too. But
as vas saying, a female political
canvass would be an outrageous
thing.
Think of the torchlight professions
that would distress our eyes. Think
Of the curious legends on the trans
parencies:
Robbins forever. Vote for saIlie
Robbins, the only virtuous candidate
in the field"
And this:
Chastity. modesty, patriotism. Let
the great people stand by Maria saun
ders. the champion OF morality and
progress. and the only candidate with
a stainless reputation"
And this:
Vote for Judy McGinnis. the in
oorruptible. Nine children-one at
the breast"
In that day a man shall say to his
servant: What is the matter with
the baby?" And the servant shall
reply; 1T has been sick for hours"
And where is its mother?" "she Is
out eleetioneering for saIlie Rob.
bins And such conversations as
these shall ~transpire between ladies'
and servants applying for situa-
ton: Can you cook?" yes"
WASH" Yes" Do general
houseworkT' Yes" "AlI right:
who is your choice for State . MilIin.
ner?' Judy McGinnis." "well. YOU
can tramp" And women shall talk
politics instead Of discussing fash.
Ions; and they shall neglect the du-
ties Of the household to go out and
drink with candidates; and men
small nurse the baby while their
wives travel TO the polls to vote.
But also in that day the man who
hath beautiful whiskers shall heat
the homely man of wisdom for Gov.
ernor, and the youth who waltzes
with exquisite grace shall be Chief
Of Police, in preference to the man
energy.
Every man. I take It, has a self
ish end in view when he pours out
eloquence In behalf Of the public
good in the newspapers. and such is
the case with me. I do not want the
privileges Of women extended. be-
cause my wife already holds office
In nineteen different female associa.
tons, and I have to do her cIerking.
II o give the women full sweep
with the men in political affairs, she
VIII proceed to run for every CON
rounded office under the new dis
~pensation. That will finish me. 1t
is bound to finish me. She would
not have to do anything at all then,
and the one solitary thing have
shirked up to the present time would
Tall on me and my family would go
10 destruction; for / am NOT quail
fled for a wet nurse.