The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-22

From the Louisville Courier-Jo ournal.
,'ro get even with Mrs. Carroll b.
West for enticing her perfect jewel of a
cook away from her, Mrs. George D..
Poulson, of 121 Broad street, Red Bank,
N. j., had a spite fence 30 feet long and
IA feet high built between her home AMI
the West residence next door last
Wednesday.
Mr.. West promptly swore out war
rant for Mrs. Poullsnns s arrest He SAID
she had threatened 10 horsewhip him
within an inch of his life. Mrs. Poulson
motored down to Justice of the Peace
Edward W. Wise's office yesterday morn
ing and said:
"'Yes, l did tell Mr.. West that I would
horsewhip him. I've been saving horse
whip for him for some time and l told
him last Friday that l was going to use
it on him, too. New York World.
always be, an open market, ruled by
i the law of supply and demand, 3.nd
every laborer is not only worthy of his, or
her. hire, but entitled to profit by the lib
erality of the highest Lidder, Nevertheless
there is an unwrtten law, held In vener-
alton by the housekceper who has Jewel
of a cook-if not always so venerated by
the same houseekepcr when her neigh,
Dor is so situated-proyiding the penalties
of hatred, suspicion, contempt, social ex-
communication and few other forms OF
punishment for the, person who invades
the kitchen, corporeally or by letter or
word of mouth, and hires the cook 1t Is
an absurd law, of course. out OF all rea-
son, and rejecting an absolute lack OF
rudimentary sense Of Justice. If 1t were
applied by men no clerk might hope for
higher wages from another employer, or
from his own employer in response to an
outside offer. But self preservation is
Exhibit One" among the laws of nature,
and self defense Is an admittedly excel
lent excuse for blowing out the brains
of a neighbor who has created situation
that warrants you in defending yourself
by such means as nay seem to you at
the moment adequate. And, of course, a
Jewel of cook is rarer than other kinds
of Jewels. Nobody is mining first rate
cooks upon the scale upon which dia-
monds are mined at Kimberly. Nobody
markets them as diamonds are marketed
in Amsterdam, or London, or New York.
The fawless gem of a cook remains a
chance discovery. There is no rule that
guides the prospector TO pay dirt.
Again, having bought your diamond or
ruby or other bit CT tawdry treasure
that has no actual value higher than that
of a pebble, although It's conventional
value may be a fortune, 1t is yours to
have and to hold. 1t may be devised to
your "heirs and assigns or forked over
to your Soul mate. as your heart may die
tate. But your Jewel of a cook who has
a real value-mercu-isl. uncertain. hard
to please moody, tull of tenses-is esre-
ciaily inclined to drift into the past tense
with regard to bodily presence, and likely
to be in the subjunctive mood with re-
gard to acting upon orders. or diplomat t.
ically couched suggestions. She is hard
enough to keep when there is no inter-
ference.
Heroic diseases, according to practi-
toner's axiom, call for heroic remedies
So 1t is with equally grave difficulties
such as the, standing difficulty of keep
ing the jewel Of a cook when once she
is discovered. corralled. kow-towed tn
invited to make door mat of all prece-
dents under which the establishment has
been operated, and to put the lid upon the
kitchen at pleasure and take such days
on as may contribute to the growth ol
an affection for the job.
] In the circumstances Mrs. Poulson VII,
! ee regarded by householdsrs - having