The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-31
w. AND L. TRACK
SCHEDULE FOR 1913
is ANNOUNCED

III all inc history OIL bifilihe nam
there was never hotter afternoon
than that of July IS, 1912. 1t was so
hot that the earth steamed. Men, coat
less and collarless. forsooth. sat upon
the bleachers For Birmingham and
Atlanta were at it. tooth and toe nail.
Atlanta seemed TO he getting the bet
Ter of the running, too. And it was
dreadful hot.
Dan Pfenninger was calling them
that hot and sultry afternoon. You
know how Dan calls them. As he sees
them, of course. But 1t is very sell
dom that Dan sees them as they really
are. For that reason he is known as
Honest Dan. g
And the moment came when Dan
pulled bad one. A fat guy whose
pouch was lined with lobster salad and
whose face. as direct consequence.
was larding the earth as alone he sat,
niopped his neck.
"They tell me-" he finally said, that
Dan Pfenninger Is night watchman
during the winter season."
HE is" said the lad. who was retail
ing coca-cola He serves as custodian
for the Judge"
'Humphr retorted the man who
mopped.
And pretty soon Dan pulled another
one. 1t was awful. It smelled to heaven.
The Barons fumed. They ran around
Honest" Dan and jerked him unkindly
in many directions. But Dan had called,
and it remained called
And the man who mopped got busy
SAY, kid,"-he was speaking again
to the dope boy-"didnt you just tell
me that Pfenninger was night watch
man?"
81 certainly did," returned the young
merchant, prising at the same time a
splinter with his bare toe.
WELL" retorted the fat guy. how in
the h can he see them in the
night time when he misses everyone Of
them in the broad daylight2'
The lad. unable to answer, strolled
away-nonchalantly strolled away.
All of which reminds, as would say
that greatest of all the old Romans
Bobo. that we are expected this morn
ing following the urgent requests of
all the readers of The Age-Herald, to
discuss the gentle and altogether in
sidious pastime of rmpiring. In the be-
ginning we would say that umpiring
is necessary, not alone to the game,
but to the pleasure of the fan. What
would a game be without an umpire. 1t
would be as tame as that historic aft
ernoon on which the famous user of
profanity had nothing against which
to hurl his oaths 1t would be about
as pleasant as a Caesarian incision, or
a shave administered on ship deck by
= table porter.
There are various ways in which an
umpire gets away. For all of them,
whether justly or not, get away. You
very seldom hear of an umpire being
done to death, although several, during
the past season were forced to climb
a fence, and others are still hurting
for lost fragments of their ears. But
there are several ways of getting
away. Take Pfenninger. He calls them
as he sees them. He hopes that he
has seen them as they were. If he
hasn't he guesses as accurately as he
possibly can. And, having guessed, he
sits still in the bottom and all the
fumes of the nethermost depths lack
the strength to move him. That is a
good point in Dams favor He does the
best he can, and is proud enough to
believe that from his. point of vantage
he has seen them jus4 as accurately as
the players who sat on the bench, and
come boiling after him. If Dan would
send more men back to the bench with
stiff fines plastered all over them he
would fare better for two reasons. The
first is that the fans would give him
q brighter record. The second is that
the players would let him proceed on
his rocky way, solitary and unmo-
Tested.
There are other methods. Mr. Buxley
once umpired in the Southern league.
He was long and lanky, honest, blind,
headstrong. Indifferent as to his fate.
young, green and otherwise unsophisti-
Gated.
In addition to all these excellent traits
he was very proud of Mr.. Buxley. There
is every reason why man should be
proud of himself. But there is very little
wisdom, according to the prophets, in
a man advertising that questionable trai.
of his character
Mr. Buxley often missed 'em. And
every time he missed 'em, the players
would try him out They met their
match every time. For Buxley was like
the lad with glasses who went to school
and after three days Of practice at the