The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-08-07

WIN pelhs a vagrant; that is, with
having no visible means Of
oambo--"No visible means of sup
poht, 70 honah? What yo' mean
ny VISIBLE means of suppoht?"
Visible means something
Sambo-"Dat so? Why. 1awdv
judge! Yo' jest send for nah wife,
an make her leave de washin' and
come hyah. Visible? Huh! h
weighs 300 pounds. I guess shes
visible all right.
Tommy, having disposed of three
helplngs of sausage and doughnuts.
sat mournfully regarding his empty
plate.
Observing his penslve expression.
Aunt Sarah kindly asked: Tommy.
won't you have some more dough-
nuts?"
"No'm!" the poor lad replied, with
feeling emphasis, II don't want them
| got now!'--Harper's Magazine.
Pastor Ryder was a very prosy
speaker, and one Sunday morning
when the services were over and he
congregation was dispensing Deacon
hesWorth who was a great admirer
of the pastor met a friend at the
door and said:
"A n sermon this morning. So
we'll timed too"
YES. replied the other man, 81.
was certainly we'll timed. Nearly half
the congregation had their watches
out. '--1ippincott's.
While a building was in process of
construction two of the tilers became
engaged in a violent quarrel. So
Elolent was it that the police were
called in and the offenders taken be-
fore a magistrate. Both of the men
were sober and Industrious and good
Workmen; this. according to the tes-
tlmony of the foreman in charge OF
their work, who had followed in
hopes OF being able to intercede for
thine.
h magistrate asked, in astonish-
ment, the cause of the quarrel. 1t
seems that nne man had accused the
other of stealing his coat.
And ] can prove it, too added the
man.
Howe asked the magistrate.
Il always keep my card in the
pocket said the man.
The policemen were directed to
search the garment. But they found
absolutely nothing.
Gimme my coat" said the work
man. 1t was handed to him. He took
two dried peas out OF the pockets and
neld them up triumphantly. "P. p.
Peter Powell. That's me name.
Them's me card
He got his coat.
a western politician running for
office was very much incensed at Ger
tain remarks which had been made
about him by the leading pa per of
the town. He burst into the editorial
DON like a dynamite bomb AND ex-
claimed You are telling lies about
me in your paper. and you know it,
You have no u for complaint
said the editor cody. What in the
truth about you?"
The Doctor-M-s. Brown has sent
for me to go and see her boy, and
must &c at once.
His Wife-What is the matter with
the hoy?
The Doctor-1 don't know. but Mrs.
Before the Doctor Comes and
must hurry up before she does it,"
The admiration entertainment hy.
a Trenton boy for his uncle includes
all the latter's attributes and even
possessions which the uncle himself
is not wont TO deem undesirable.
Uncle" said the lad one day after
he had been studying his uncle in
laughing conversation with his ia
ther, II don't care much for plain
teeth like mine. I wish I had some
copper-toed ones like yours"
Henry was very proud Of the new
kittens and went for them to show,
them to visitors. His mother heard
them coming along the hall, and.
alarmed at the noise of the process
sion. called out: Don't hurt he
kittens. Henry"
NO. mother" came the reassuring
answer. I'm carrying them very care
fully by the stems"