The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-14
JUST STORIES.
They Have to Do With WASH
ington People.
Uncle Joe Comes to Town With
His Carpet Sack.

Uncle Joe Cannon blew into Wash
breezy fashion. He put up at the
new Willard hotel. Surrendering his
carpet bag to a bellboy, he beat it for
the cafe, announcing en- route that
he sure did detest train victuals''
and he had saved up a farm hands
appetite against arrival.
Hello, Uncle Joe," cried q lusty
voice. 'Tis Ollie James, senator from
Kentucky, Democrat and partisan, but
very fond of Mr.. Cannon He drew
up a chair and Joined the circle of
newspaper men who had gathered
around Uncle Joe.
'Lemme see," continued your I'M
Gle. returning to the menu. here are
sweetbreads. braise. jambon de-de
take this French bill of fare away
and bring me some spring lamb and
a baked potato and some corn
plenty of corn"
"Howdy. Uncle Joe," and in comes
big Tim Hef1in Of Alabama, another
Democrat. who. seeing Ollie James
and Uncle Joe and the boys to-
gether. foresees good company and
''sits in
You know, I was always fond of
corn,'' continued Uncle Joe, land
once, when was putting up at the
old Willard here, a constituent took
dinner with me. Corn on the cob
had just come in and I'll admit that,
as I was powerful fond of corn, may
have eaten right smart.
Anyhow, my constituent friend re-
marked: Seems to me, Joe. that you'd
save money if you'd put up at livery
stable. instead Of a hotel"
Although Representative William
Kent of California owns a 10000
acre farm in North Carolina, whal-
enough sheep ranches and such to
make him one of the biggest wool
growers in the country, at the same
time he's always broke. The answer
is, so the story runs, that Kent en-
ploys a manager who's mean to him.
The managers office is out in Chi
cago, and when Kent wires him for
money, the manager, feeling safe with
1900 miles between them, gets sassy
by return mail. The only thing Kent
could do with the manager would be
to can him, but then he'd have to
find another manager. And the other
manager would most likely be just as
mean. Anyway, this manager is a
pretty good fellow. after all.
One day Kent went into the Office
Of his sparring partner, Representa-
tive Ed. Townsend of New Jersey
the "Chimmie Fadden'' man-with a
wide smile and a cheerful, not to say
clipper, demeanor.
ED said Mr.. Kent, tonight I'm
going to give the biggest dinner for
Its size that was ever given in Wash
ington. You and me, and Johnny
Fitzgerald and Gillette and Tredwell,
and few more, maybe. Only little
party of congressman, you know; but
it'll be the event that puts the Sixty
second Congress In the school histor-
les. Do you get me?"
II do" replied Townsend, 'sbut what
I want to know is, where did you get
the money!"
Kent stepped closer and lowered his
voice.
This is between us, Ed" he whis-
pered. hoarsely. but some poor goat
here instead of to that internal mana
ger of mine. I'm going to spend this
money and have the laugh on that
manager, for once!"
When in Washington recently for
mer Senator John c. Spooner, for
many years known as one Of the legal
giants of the senate, told this story
On former President Theodore Roose-
welt:
One day the senator was called to
the White House.
Senator, 1 want your advice on the
question of formulating a bill to regu-
late railroad rates." said Mr.. Roose-
welt.
''well, Mr.. President" replied the
senator quickly, II don't think know
very much about the subject Why
don't you seek the advice of two MEM
bers of your cabinet-Knox and
Root? They are considered two of
the greatest constitutional lawyers in
the country"
But" interrupted the president.
''they don't agree with mel"
Representative Pepper of Iowa once
told a good story on himself about the
reason he did not vote in q certain
Democratic election and how 1t came
near being source Of trouble.
1t seems that when Pepper was run
ming for congress several friends visit
ed him in his office to discuss po-
litical matters. Peppers principles
were pretty thoroughly gone over for
| the benefit Of a hardheaded man
present. This stranger evidently had
a card up his sleeve and was waiting
| to play it at an opportune moment.
The more Peppers friends argued
as to the great work their candidate
would accomplish in congress, the
more the obstinate stranger objected.
| At last he blurted out his reason=it
was that Pepper had not voted at the
| last election. The future members
friends looked aghast at this assertion.
''Is it true, Pepper" they gasped.
| Yes, gentlemen" replied Pepper
in sad voice, II am sorry to say it II
| the fact'