The herald., 1913-01-16

| COulu 10 uONH 10 NdSHNllIe!
They purtended to give in at that
but what did the critters do but put
me up to be voted fer when the time
cum, and the fust thing | knOwed
was lected by 400 majority. When
heard the news told it to the old wO-
man and said:
WAL, what am gwine to do about
1t? I've either got to hunt fer a cave
and hole myself up or go to Nashville
lyon go TO Nashville she says.
"'And what1l yo' do?
"T'n go with yo'"
"Waal. we started off one day and
got aboard of the railroad kyars.
was a little narvOus, and the old wO-
man braced her feet and hung on with
her hands, but we got along without
any calamity. In about an hour, when
she dared to open her eyes and draw
her breath, she says to me:
"'Zeb, how many houses have yo'
seen since we left homer
"'More'n a hundred says l.
And how many people?
"'MOre'n a thousand
"'Shoo! Then we must hev got clear
around the world and back home
ag'inr
when we got down to Nashville
thar was so many people and so many
houses and such a movin' around that
l got the old woman behind me and
prepared to fight to the death, but not
a critter laid hands on US. Some of
'em laughed at my cowhide boots, and
some Of 'em grinned at the old wo
mans poke bonnet, but everything was
good natured. We went to a tavern to
git board. and when the old woman
sees the carpets on the floors, the stuff
cheers standin' around and the lookin'
glasses as big as a tablecloth she turns
pale and puts her arms around me and
says:
"Zeb, kin see now why thar ar
so many sinners in this world If u
critter kin hev all these things, he
don't keer a pesky drat about gwine
to heaven. I'm afeared We'll be bad
huff to steal hawgs in a week
AT the end Of three days the legis-
lachur opened. and l had to go up to
the statehouse. Lordy. stranger, but
I'd rather tackled three old bars at
once. | had goose flesh as | struck
that crowd. and the old woman wasn't
around to Encourage me. / went into
the statehouse with the crowd, and
I'd jist found q seat when a feller
comes around and says:
Excuse me, but amt that a rife
yo've got tharT
"'She be- says I. It's a rife which
has killed mo- bars and wildcats than
yo' could count in an hour, and she's
still ready fer the next varmint.'
But 20 can't bring no deadly weep
in yere.' he goes on. This amt no
jumpin' match nor boss race, but the
legislachur Of Tennessee
Il told him I knowed whar l was.
but that | should keep tight holt Of
that rife till l knowed was out of
the woods. and he goes away growlin'
to hisself. Mebbe 1t was half an hour
after that when a Teller stands up on
a platform and looks at me and says:
docs the honorable member from
Beaver Cove expect to find any bars
on the flooh of this houseT
~ amt sayin' as | do I answers.
but II thar is a riot over moonshine
whisky | might want sunthin' better
than a clubr
"Bimeby that same Teller stood up
agin and says, as slick as yo' please:
'Mebbe the honorable member from
Beaver Cove would like to be excused
for half an hour while he takes his
gun home
"'Do any critter yere want to pick
fuss with Zeb Whittier says | as I
stands up.
Everybody laughs and claps his |
hands. but no one comes nigh me. and
puts on my cap, shoulders my rifle
and says as | walks out:
Its an emery crowd. and thar amt
man among 20 who kin pull a rab-
bit out Of boiler logr
81 went straight to the tavern, and |
thar | found the old woman shiverin |
and shakin' fur her life.
whats the matterT says |.
They've put piller cases trimmed |
with lace on our bed says she. and |
the gorgeousness of it will bring on
heart disease. Zeb. fur the Lawd's |
sake, let's go back homer
but I'm here to watch moonshine.
says l..
Never mind moonshine nur nothin
else on the face Of this airth, but let's
be a-gittin'. This world amt fur US.
Zeb. We is like two lost children wan
derin' through the woods and expectin
to be eat up any mint. and I'm so
skeart and illustrated that | shan't live
two days longer! Zeb, If yo' love me.
come homer
"1'll do it. says I. And she got on
her poke, packed our carpetbag, and
we was out of the town &c Nashville
befo' shutdown. never to go back"
The Final Test,
You are the first girl I have ever
really loved" be declared.
She looked doubtfully at him for a
moment and then asked:
Have you ever been seasick?'
YES" he replied. but why do you
aok ~