davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14

TT is not generally known that Mil
ton. the author Of Paradise Lost"
one of the most stately and ma
jestic poems in the English language.
once wrote a punning epitaph on the
carrier VINO Piled between Cambridge
and London and who sickened in the
time of his vacancy being forbid 10 go
to London by reason of the plague" 10
quote the poets own words The car
rier was none other than that HobsoA,
whose choice" has become so famous.
It appears that he used to let out his
horses on hire. but, no matter how
pressing the need, the traveller had 10
take the horses Hobson offered or none.
SO that today the phrase "Hobson's
choice" is used to signify no choice 1T
ALL
Miiton'S poem written on the death
Of this carrier is too long to quote n
fun but one or two passages viii suf-
flee to show with what skill he played
with words;
Rest, that gives all men life, gave him
his death,
And too much breathing pat him out Of
breath:
Nor were it contradiction to affirm
Too long vacation FASTENED on mis-
term
And again he says, referring to Hob
sons prosperity:
yet Cstrange to think his vain was
his Increase"
Inveterate Punsters.
Nor is Milton the only poet whose
works have become immortal who
stopped to pun. Shakespeare. as Is
well known was an lnveterate punsteT,
and DR. Johnson in his preface to N
edition of the poets works, severely
censures him for playing with words on
| serious occasions. For example, in an
swer to King Richards question:
What comfort, man? How ist with
ancient Gaunt?" the playwright puts
! into the mouth of Gaunt the words;
! 80 how that name befits my compost
! tom Old Gaunt. indeed. and gaunt in
| being old Within me grief has kept
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Puns Perpetrated by Serious
Minded Poets

la tedious fast; and who abstains from
meat that is not gaunt?'
Hamlet is made to pun, too. When
the clown, digging graves in the church
yard. in answer to the question. Whose
graves this" says, Mine, sir" Ham
let replies:
i think it be thine, indeed; for thou
Hest int" And later adds:
Thou dost lie int, to be int and say
it is thine it's for the dead, not for
the quick. therefore thou lest"
The puns of Tom Hood are well
known In Faithless saHie Brown.
"Faithless Nellie Cray and The Duel.
10 mention but few almost every
line contains pun What could be
wittier than the concluding verse of
"FaithIess Sallle Brown"
His death, which happened in his
| berth
| Al forty-odd befeu,
They went and told the sexton, and
The sexton tolled the bell
A Famous Answer.
! Perhaps one Of the best known puns
is that put into the mouth OF John
| Gilun by Cowper 1t viii be remem-
bered that, according to the poem, John
/ Gilpin borrowed horse from mia
! friend to ride to Edmonton to celebrate
his wedding day, but the horse had
other plans and took the iovial Gilpm
to the house Of his friend. who, on see
ing his ruffled condition. asked him
why he had come Gilpln replied:
q came because your horse would
come:
And if ! well forbode
| My hat and wig will soon he here
They are upon the road
The poet Wither once lamented the
decline of his family in the words.
The very name of Wither shows de-
cay" and although the following verse
| penned by Lord Lyttleton to Lady
! Browne, is not the work of a poet SO
| called it is well worth quoting:
| when / was young and debonair
! The brownies nYmph to me was fair:
! But now I'm old and wiser grown,
| The fairest nymph to me is Browne"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14

|HAT love often makes a fool OF
the cleverest men in history fur
nishes abundant proofs, ever since
Jana long before) Mark Anthony fell I'M
der the spell of CIeopatra's dark eyes
ami crowded a career of folly with sui
eide.
sheridan reveiled in the role of hack
ray-coachman for the pleasure of driv-
ing his adored Nightingale of Bath"
IN her home night after night and ex-
hanging love glances with her under
the eyes of her unsuspecting father:
and Canning put on groom's livery and
did stable work in exchange for the de
rtght of escorting, a. groom in attend
arae. his masters daughter in her daily
rides.
William Pitt, most unsentimental of
men as ne considered himself, was so
intoxicated by the charms of a pretty
maid Of Devon that he drank her health
out Of one of her dainty shoes and Mr..
SelIwood, a notable man of the day,
actually served as footman in the house
If the lady he loved for 20 long years,
until her husbands death set her free
To accompany him to the altar.
And so it has always been-from
tine German baron who had his right
hand cut off because it had accidentally
struck the cheek of the woman whose
little finger was more to him than his
whole body, to the gilded young French
uobleman who served years of appren-
uceship to the law and won fame as
or advocate to prove to his lady love
that he was not the butterfly of pleas
ure she 'fancied.
Peasant Girl and Count.
There is no year that does not yield
its crop Of similar stories of men who
nave proved that no sacrifice is too
great to win a lady's favor When the
youthful Count Francis Erbach sue
cumbed at sight Of a peasant girl whom
he met one day when riding in the for
est at Erbach, he determined that she
and no other should be his wife. cost
what it might. That Anna Schultz
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Right the First Time.

Baker, was out in Blakeley's mo-
tor last week He has everything in
it, even a pedometer
Barker-You mean speedometer. old
man. A pedometer is an instrument for
measuring how far you walk.
Baker-Au right; I'll stick to pc
domatpr
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Do You Know
That

Some remarkable statements about
the effect of music on the growth Of
hair are made by Mr. Henri DeParvillc.
Musicians it appears, are bald in he
proportion of eleven per cent. but
amongst Observation-Disclosures the influence
of musical vibrations makes itself fat
in two opposite directions, according TO
the class of instrument. Thus, while
string instruments prevent and arrest
the falling off of the hair the brass in
struments exercise the most deadly in
huence upon the scalp. The piano and
the violin especially the former, have
an undeniable preservative effect. The
violoncello, the harp and the double
bass all partake Of the beneficial eff
fects of the piano. on the other hand
the effect of the brass is deplorablc
The trombone is the most deleterious
of all, for in five or six years the play
er has lost at least 60 percent Of his
hair,
BiIlibid prison. al Manila, was the
scene recently of the production of a
play, written, staged and acted by pris-
oners, in theater specially built by
prisoners and before an audience COM
posed of prisoners
"A peculiar fact about the banana is
that no insect will attack it, and an
other is that it is immune from the
diseases that fruits are subject to.
According to the latest golf statistics,
American golfers buy 100000 golf
balls year.
The worlds record for pole jumping
is 10 feet ! inch.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Why Should She?

Come now, Hemina,' said the
Whitechapel bridegroom, you're GO
in to s'y obey when you comes to
ii in the service. amt you2'
"Wot me-" cried the bride Me s'y
obey TO YOU? Why, blow me, En-
merry, you amt art me size"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
High Enough.

"Oh. Jack. I must have new dress
for MuriePs party!"
Dress, dress-nothing but dress,
Haven't you a mind for anything high
er than dress"
Higher Yes l need a new hat"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
No Use for Him.

1--WE got you down for a couple of
tickets We're getting up a rattle for
a poor man of our neigh"
None for me, thank you. I wouldn't
know what to do with a poor man if /
won him"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
New Evidence.

why do YOU want new trial?"
"On the grounds of newly discovered
evidence, your honor"
Whats the nature of it?"
My client dug up $500 that l didn't
know he had
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Got Nothing on Auntie.

Tommy don't think auntie Will
stay: she didn't bring any luggage.
Johnny-Hush. Look how long the
baby has stayed and he didn't bring
ANYTHING
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14
Ought to Get It.

"On what ground do you seek di-
vorce, MADAME"
'Incompatibility. l want a divorce
and my husband doesn't"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14

TABITS. which encrust us like bar
II nacles before we are aware OF
their existence, begin when we
are too young to know what the word
means. 1--WE are all creatures of habit"
we say as we grow older, and expect
that admission to serve as an excuse,
which is only another bad habit 1 hope
my girls will never acquire.
There are so many million things to
which a girl may grow deaf, dumb,
blind and paralytic, all from habit. She
grows deaf to the tone of authority in
her mothers voice: dumb, when giving
hpr confidence to her mother would be
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-03-14

Habit is all l shall have to re-
port when | am called upon to plead
10 my conscience. on my death bed.
Habit, says I; I was deaf, dumb,
blind and paralytic to a million
things from habit
-DOMBEY & SON.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
Oahu Railway Time Table
OUTWARD.

OUTWARD.
For Waianae, Waialua, Kahuku and
Way stations-se: a. m, 1920 p. m.
For Pearl City, EVA Mill and Way
Stations-t7:30 a. M, '9:15 q M,
s11:30 a. m, '2:15 p. m, 1920 p. m,
1918 p. m. 1890 p. m, f11:15 p. m.
For Wahiawa and Leilehua-s10:2O
q. m, t2:40 p. m, $500 p, m. s11:O0
p. %.
INWARD.
Arrive Honolulu from Kahnku, Wal
alua aid Waianae-'S:36 q M, s5:3l
p. N.
Arrive Honolulu from Eva MIN and
Pearl City-t7:45 a. m, 1886 q. m,
'11:02 a. m, u: 80 p. m, s4:26 p. N.
s5:32 p. M. 1870 p. m.
Arrive Honolulu from Wahiawa
and Leilehua-'9:15 q. m, f1:55 p. M,
1901 p. M, '7:10 p. m.
The Haleiwa Limited, q two hour
train (only first-class tickets honored)
leaves Honolulu every Sunday at 1886
.. m, for Haleiwa Hotel; returning ar
rives in Honolulu at 1910 p. N. The
Limited stops only at Pearl City and
Waianae.
.DaiIy Except Sunday tSunday only
G. p. DENlSoN, 2. c. SMITH,
Superintendent G. P. A.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
TRANSPORT SERVICE

Logan, from Manila for. Honolulu and
San Francisco, May Is.
Sherman, from Honolulu for Guam and
Manila, May i.
Warren, stationed at the Philippines.
Thomas, arrived at San Francisco
May 16.
Dix, at Seattle.
Sheridan. sailed from Honolulu for
San Francisco, arrived Jan. p.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
NAILS

Mails are due from the following
points as follows:
San Francisco-Sierra, May 26.
observation-disclosures, June IS.
Colonies-Ventura, June 13.
Yokohama Siberia, May 81.
Mails will depart for the following
points as follows:
Vsncouver-Marama. June IL.
Colonies Sonoma, June 9.
Yokohama-Persia, May 80.
San Francisco-Honolul May q.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
PASSENGERS no lRRIEE

Per NJ. n. 8. s. Lurline from San
Francisco, June 3.-Master Stanley
and Redders Waldron. J. B. Gibson,
Miss Loretta Blatt, Mrs. T. Mohrig,
Mrs. r. c. Anthony and infant. Mr..
and Mrs. ]. c. Bridwell. Mrs. Grace
l.. Young. f. Magoon. ]. Baldwin. R..
Bridges. Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. R. Rider.
Dickson Hitchcock, Harvey Hitch
cock
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
MOVEMENTS OF
MAIL STEAMERS
VESSELS no ARRIVE

Sunday, May IS.
Maui. Molokai and Lanai ports
Mikahala. str.
Maui PoTts-Clahdine str.
Kauai poTts-Kinau, str.
Monday, May %
San Francisco-Sierra, o. 8. 3.
Tuesday, May 81
Hongkong via Japan ports Siberia.
p NJ. s. s.
Hilo via way ports-Mauna Kea.
str
Kona and Kau ports-Kilauea, str.
Wednesday, May q.
Kauai ports W. G. Hall, str.
Thursday, May %.
Maui ports-Claudine, str.
Friday, May 80
San Francisco-Persia. p. M. s. 8.
Saturday, May 81.
Hilo ria way ports Mauna Kea, str.
Sunday, June I.
Maui, Molokai and Lanai ports
MikahaIa, str.
Maui ports-Claudine, str.
& Kauai ports-Kinau, str.
Tuesday, June 3.
Hongkong via Japan ports China,
p NJ. S. S.
San Francisco-Lurline, NJ. n. S. 5.
Hilo via way ports-Mauna Kea, str.
Wednesday, June 4.
Manila via Nagasaki Logan, U. 5.
A. T.
Kauai ports-W. G. Hall, str.
Thursday, June 5.
Maui ports-Claudine, str.
Friday, June s.
San Franeisco-Korea, p. NJ. S. s.
Monday, June 9.
San Francisco-Sonoma, o. S. S.
Tuesday, June 10.
Hongkong via Japan ports-Man-
churia, p M. s. s.
San Francisco = Wilhelmina, NJ. n.
S. s.
Wednesday, June II.
Central and South American ports
Kiyo Maru, Japanese stmr.
Thursday, June II.
San Francisco-Thomas, U. s. A. I.
Friday, June 13.
San Francisco - Shinyo Maru, Jap
anese stmr.
Sydney via Page Pago-ventura, o.
S. S.
Tuesday, June II.
Hongkong via Japan ports = Chiyo
Maru, japanese stmr.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-05-24
VESSELS TO DEPART

Monday, May &c.
Maui ports-Claudine, str, p. m.
Kauai Noeau, str, 5 p m.
Tuesday, May n
San Francisco-Honolulan, n. N.
S. S., 6 p. m.
Maui, Molokai and Lanai ports
Mikahala, str, p. m.
San Francisco Siberia, P. M. s. 8.
Kauai ports-Kinau, str, p. m.
Wednesday, May %.
Hilo via way ports-Mauna kea, str,
Thursday, May 20.
Kauai ports-W. G. Hall, str.
Friday, May 80
Hongkong via Japan ports-Persia,
P. NJ. s. s.
Maui ports Iaudine, str, p. m.
Saturday, May 81
San Francisco-Sierra, o. 8. g.,
noon.
Hilo via way ports-Mauna Kea, str.
p. m.
Monday, June 2.
Maui ports-Claudine, str, p. m.
Kauai ports-Noeau, str, 5 p. m.
OCS0ayy SdHS -.
Maui, Molokai and Lanai ports
Mikahala, str, p. m.
Kauai ports-Kinau, str, p. m.
San Francisco-China, p M. s. s.
"Wednesday, June q.
San Franeisco-Logan, U. s. A. 7.
Friday, June 6.
Hongkong via Japan ports-korea,
p. NJ. S. s.
Monday, June 9.
Sydney via Page Page - Sonoma,
o. S. S.
Tuesday, June 10.
San Francisco-Lurline, NJ. y. S. S.,
6 p. m.
San Francisco Manchuria, P. M.
S. S.
Friday, June 10.
Manila via Guam Thomas, U. s.
A. T.
Hongkong via Japan ports-Shinyo
9iaru, Japanese stmr
San Francisco-Ventura 0. S. S.
Saturday, June ID.
Hongkong via Japan ports = Kiyo
Maru, Japanese stmr
Tuesday, June II.
San Francisco-Chiyo Maru. Japan
csc stmr.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1913-03-07
AGArHERrpAN SOCIETY

The Agatheridan Society held it's
regular meeting this afternoon. After
the minutes of the preceding meeting
had been read and approved the fol-
lowing program was rendered:
Subject, Longfellow and Whittier.
Song. by school
Cheer for old Amherst
Grafton, LongfeIow's influence on
American Literature-Alfred Green.
Essay, Life of Longfellow-Homer
Small.
Recitation, Longfellow's Psalm of
Life-Annie Pope Eagleton.
Story of Evangeline-George Davis.
hesitation, The Day is Done-Susie
Erwin.
Piano solo-Marie Burnett.
Story, Life of Whittier-Olivia Tof-
faletti.
Recitation, The Barefoot Boy
Martha Kate Rentz.
Piano solo-Claudia OneaL
Recitation, Autumn Thoughts-Lois
Dame.
Paper-Robert Common.
After the reports of the critics there
being no further business to come be-
fore the house, the society adjourned
TO meet again March IA, 1913.
The vice president. Mr.. John Bats
was in the chair in place of the pres
ident Mr.. Carlton Irvine, who was abb
sent
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1913-03-07
A QUEEN of THE KEYBOARD

Miss Margaret B. owen, the worlds
champion amateur typewriter, is a
guest of the Harrington:
Miss owen is the amateur champion
of the world, and won her record at
the last years business show, where
she wrote for one full hour at the rate
of one hundred and fourteen net words
minute, and wrote for the first half
of the hour at the rate of one hundred
and sixteen net words a minute, which
Is only one word less a minute than
Miss Florence E. Wilson, professional
champion of the world.
The feature of Miss Owens work
and the reason she is given the title
of the lone thousand dollar an hour
typist" is due to her winning on the
Underwood machine a thousand dollar
cash prize from the Annual Business
Show Company, which offered the
money to any operator who would ex-
coed the worlds record of one hundred
and twelve net words a minute estab-
lished vast year.
Miss Owen has been a typist since
1909. In the fall of 1910 she won the
Worlds School Championship at the
net rate of eighty-five words a min
ute. In the contest of the following
year she was close second in the am
ateur section.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1913-03-07
COUNCIL SEEMS
INCLINED TO COMPROMISE

The meeting OF the city council last
night was attended by Aldermen
weathers. Helyenston, Taylor, Weihe.
Livingston and Hood. Present were
Messrs. Meffert. MacKay. Chambliss,
Moorhead, Martin, Thomas, Jewett,
Ditto, Harris, Thomas and dozen
more other citizens. besides Mr.. r. a.
Burford. division counsel of the At
Iantic Coast Line, and superintendent
Riddle and Assistant Superintendent
Mccarthy OF the Atlantic Coast Line
Mr.. Burford opened the ball by read
ing the editorial in yesterdays Star,
relating TO the city and the Coast Line
Mr. Burford repealed, so he said, the
insinuations against himself and the
councilmen as well as the attacks on
the railroad AS the Star didn't make
any insinuations against either Mr.
Burford or the councilmen, and has no
apologies to make for what it said
about the railroad we will make no
comment except to thank Mr.. Burford
for showing so very plainly that the
broadside hit the mark.
Mr.. Riddle made a brief talk, telling
what his company wished to do. As
aforesaid, it wants to close South
Sixth and Seventh streets, and if al
lowed TO do so will build a commo-
dious brick depot. He did not offer to
pay the city for the streets.
Remarks were made by Messrs. Mef-
fert, MacKay, Ditto, Harris and
others. all of whom seemed TO think it
would be better to allow the streets
closed than TO allow the present state
| of affairs to continue.
The members of the council seemed
inclined to favor the following plan.
To allow the railroad to close South
Sixth and Seventh streets, provided 1T
will change it's tracks SO as to clear
Main street entirely and Osceola ave-
| nue. south of South Third. The rail-
road to put up its new freight depot
| on Main street, Immediately south of
South Fifth street The railroad wants
| to put up the building between South
Sixth and Seventh, but the council
wants it a block nearer this way.
Messrs. Riddle and Mccarthy took
the new plans and promised to report
on them as soon as they could be sub
mitted to the higher officials Of the
road
The Star thinks that while this
compromise will be an improvement
on the present order of things, the
council is making a mistake in not in
sisting on better terms. The railroad
is not threatening, as it once did, tc
starve Ocala into subm' ssion. 1t car
do much better by the city, and it viii
do so if the council is firm in it's de-
mands.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1913-03-07
HRSI-RAIE HONE FAIR
Excellent Exhibits Ia the ArmOry
Causing Unanimous Interest
and Approval

The demonstration fair given BY the
Woman's Club in the armory is one Of
the happIest hits that has been made
in Ocala in many days.
The armory was thronged all day
yesterday, until late IN the evening.
and again today by pleased and inter
ested spectators.
The visitors this morning were held
up at the door by Miss Annie Atkin-
son, who required them TO register
After complying with this charming
young lady's request. all We're free TO
view the animated scene.
Probably the most representative
booth for the county was that to the
east of the entrance. the agricultural
exhibit of the Woman's Club. presided
over by Mrs j. r. Moorhead. and fill
ed with samples of the products of the
territory around Ocala. IT was a most
comprehensive tho compact exhibit,
one that could not have been made
score of years ago, and one that it
would pay the county to reproduce in
some of the congested agricultural
centers of the north.
| Mrs. c. r. Sapp, who was presiding
over Hayes & Guynn's handsome booth
this morning. was giving away tickets
for the drawing between 4 and 3 this
afternoon, when the holders of the
lucky tickets will receive pretty prizes
Mrs. Sapp also looked after Franks
tasteful exhibit on the stage.
! Mrs Ed Carmichael presided over
the well arranged exhibit of the OcaIa
4 Plumbing and Electric Company, and
Mrs. G. T. Maughs was looking after
the appetizing groceries put in by the
earn Thomas Co. Mrs. F. G. B. Weihe
was explaining the virtues OF the o.
K. Grocerys attractive and substan-
/ tial exhibit. Mrs Tucker most ap-
propriately as well as efficiently pre-
sided over the excellent electrical ex-
hibit of H. w. Tucker and Miss Annie
Davis was capabIy lookingly after the
Marion Hardware Company's excellent
booth. There was crowd of interest
corner, paying close attention to the
ris of the Woman's College of ITALIA
hassee. Her lecture was most tempt
ingly backed up by dainty samples OF
cooking, which Manager Hunter and
several members of the Woman's Club
distributed to the guests.
The three large stalls on the stage
oCGuplSu rum IiSHl u Ielt ny FRANK
store and Haycraft & DeCamp, Hell
venston & Pasteur and Miss Mary At
fleck, Rheinauer & Co. and Mrs Bos-
tick, are most deliberately and taste
fully arranged Some of the city's
most charming matrons and prettiest
girls are acting as models to display
the goods of these excellent firms. The
models for Rheinauer & Co. and Mrs
Bostick this evening are Mrs. r. S
Hall, Mrs. William Hooker, Mrs Jack
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1913-03-07
JESSE WANTS THE JOB

Mr.. J. L Billingsley. city attorney
of Miami. wants to be United States
district attorney for the southern
district of Florida Three other Flor
ida lawyers also want the job, but
friends of Mr.. BillingsIey believe he
stands a good show of landing the
plum. by reason of his large acquaint-
ance throughout the state. not only
among members of the bar but with
Legislators and politicians. He also
knows number of officials in Wash
ington who are supposed TO be close
to President Wilson, Mr.. Billingsley
having lived in the capital city for a
time.-Miami Metropolis