Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1913-04-15
A TRUE NATURE FAKE.
How Roosevelt Received Fund Of In.
formation Regarding Ferrets.


formation Regarding Ferrets.
The fact that a man Of the name oi
Johnson has been employed to rid Har.
ward college Of rats recalls story con.
cerning Theodore Roosevelt. The magic
words bringing up the memory are, OF
course, johnson" (not Hiram) and
rats" This is the story:
In the days Of the first consecutive
cup Of coffee-that Is. about 1s02-an
Arizona newspaper man out OF a job
turned up in Washington. A local
morning paper gave him tentative en-
ployment, and as his first assignment
sent him to interview the official White
House ratcatcher, dilapidated man
constantly equipped with ferrets, terri.
ers and other vermin destroyers. and
ask him how he did It. The ratcatch-
er was soon found and with difficulty
gave up his Information. 1t appeared
that something was lacking. After the
Arizona newspaper man had supplied
that lack the mellow ratcatcher invited
him to disguise himself as his (the rat
catcher's assistant) and come up to the
executive mansion. This looked like a
better STORY" than bare interview,
and the reporter embraced the oppor-
tunity.
The cellar Of the White House is a
wonderful place, and from this basis the
ratcatcher started his operations. Ac-
cording to the story. the Roosevelt chill
dren soon got wind of the fun and de-
scended to the depths to join in the
sport. Presently, and at moment
when the ratcatcher and the children
were scampering down some ancient
alleyway to the assistant ratcatcher,
alias the Arizona newspaper man, there
descended the president himself. The
man Of the pencil nearly fed, for he
feared lest his false pretense be discov-
cred. But Roosevelt was too eager,
having espied a ferret in the pretenders
hand.
Immediately the naturalist was up
permost and the executive was sub
merged. He wanted to know what kind
of an animal that was. "A ferret, sir"
was the reply. Indeed, ferret was a
new, beast In the Rooseveltian cata-
logue. What might be its habits? How
was 1t bred? What could It be taught?
And so on. At first the newspaper man
hesitated; he knew nothing Of ferrets;
had never seen one before. But again
came the impetuous questions. Either
he must confess or make good. Fear
ing confession, he proceeded to make
good.
The Arizona newspaper man there
upon described the natural history or
the ferret. He went into the ancestry
of the ferret, tracing it from protopi-
asm to finished beast. He told Of Its
family traits, its instincts. Its charac-
teristics, acquired and inherited. He
created for the ferret a career which
would have excited the envy OF other
animals in whose biographies the liter
ary Imagination has not been exercis-
ed. While Mr.. Roosevelt drank In this
#brand-new information the reporter di-
lated more and more, and, going back
to the days when 1t had paid him good
money to write wild nature fakes under
an Arizona date line, he dilated some
more still, all the while keeping a
weather eye out for the return to that
part of the cellar Of the real ratcatcher.
Fortunately the president had had
enough before the proper owner Of the
ferrets returned; otherwise there might
have been one Arizona newspaper man
less in Washington. At the conclusion
of the EARNING Roosevelt stumped
thoughtfully back upstairs. no doubt
Illuminating book on the ferret which
would put the encyclopedia to blush.
There is no moral to this tale. 1t is
true, and glance at the writings of
Mr.. Roosevelt under the head Ferret"
might or might not be Illuminating
Boston Transcript.