The Washington herald., 1913-08-23
.CRANKS Often
VISIT CAPITAL
Washington a Clearing House
for Unfortunates from All
Over the Country.
MANY WEIRD TALES
Seat of Government a Mecca for
Those Who Have Ideas to
Impart to officials.
MANY WEIRD TALES

house for cranks and insane persons.
This statement is not designed to bur-
lesque Congress or other high govern
ment officials who come to Washington
inNspite of an increasing tendency amons
some of the people to regard public SER
wants in that class. But that Washing
ton Asylum Hospital is truly the head
quarters for lunatics.
Come to National Capital.
Crazy people are very often AFFLICTED
In such a manner that they become OBJ
sessed with the idea that some high mis-
sion calls them, and they desire to go
to the seat of government to render aid
or TO give warning or counsel to the
President or TO Congress. The guard at
the White House, the doorkeepers of the
Senate and House, private secretaries to
members Of Congress and Cabinet men,
bers. other watchdogs standing between
public officials and the public and the
officials and attendants of the Washing
ton Asylum for the Insane have a budget
of stories concerning these unfortunate
creatures, who. in some way or another,
managed to make their way to the Ma
tional Capital with astonishing fire.
iquency.
A man from North Carolina, who re-
lCSHlly at lne "nlIe House, pre-
sents an interesting and ludicrous case
Going to the White House, he announced
that he had come to Washington in re-
sponse to a wireless message in short
hand from President Wilson.
This was an extremely remarkable
statement to begin with, inasmuch as
1t would be totally impossible to send
wireless messages in shorthand, so the
White House guards Immediately knew
they had a crank TO deal with.
Interested, they drew the caller on
! to tell more about himself. He did so
with gusto. He declared that he had
been at his home, a small town in
North Carolina, when he received his
message. In some inexplicabIe manner,
the man declared, his fellow-towns-
people got wind of his affair, and, be-
coming jealous of his intimacy with
the President Of the United States, at
tempted to prevent his keeping the en-
gagement which the President had
made with him by wireless in short
hand.
He asserted that he had great diff
Guilty in getting out OF the town, as
the people fred 500 shots at him and
three stones and brickbats. He was
sure about the number-exactly 500.
The railroad people were against him,
too. he said, and he was compelled to
ride on the trucks underneath a car
until the train reached a lonely
stretch, when he climbed into a Pull
man and choked the conductor and
took from the train newsboy. Then he
took his ease in the stateroom, from
which he evicted a bride and BRIDE
groom. But, according to his story, he
did not reach Washington directly. So
strong was the jealousy OF the people
that he was forced to work his way
to Washington from North Carolina
around by Alabama.
Prayed in Hotel Lobby.
Before he came to Washington he had
been in Philadelphia so that city must
have been included in his circuitous
route. Dispatches from the Quaker
City declared at the time that the man
entered the lobby OF fashionable hotel
there, and, stepping up to a clerk asked.
courteousIy, il he might use the hotel
lobby for a moment. The clerk assented
and the stranger kneIt down in the
very center Of the huge room, and. as
Stunning an attitude as II at prayer.
silently moved his lips for several min
utes. Then, cheerfully returning to the
desk, he told the clerk he had been
communicating with President Wilson, |
and that the President would be there |
shortly to dine with him. He said they |
would dine at the hotel and that the !
mouse would De amply repaid IN the ad- |
vertisement it would receive for the use |
or lis LOBBY. Needless to say that when |
the man reached washington he told his |
story and was promptly garnered by
the Washington Asylum for the insane |
During President Taft's latter days in
the White House a large man pre-
sented himself, and saying he was THE
Bull Moose" declared he had come TO
throw the Chief Executive out of the
Executive Mansion.
Not long ago one came to the Capital
and demanded of the police, with whom
ne early entered upon negotiations, 10
see Uncle Sam in person, so that he
might recIIe TO tnat benevolent genIIe-
man MS wrongs. he saw the director
Of the Government Hospital for the In
sane.
Letters to Secret Service.
Chief wilkie OF the Secret Service, re-
ceives come fascinating bits of litera-
ture in the form of applications for en-
ployment under the head OF government
sleuth. One man wrote that he had
carried q gun from cnIIonood, was ma
:uraIly so conspicuous that any one could
zee him in a crowd and be unable to
mistake his calling, and that as he
lad done some counterfeiting himself he
would especially be efficient in appre-
bending others engaged in that trade.
Letters and visitors of all descriptions
ONE to the Secretary OF the Treasury.
there is a man named Kelley who every
ew months will write sin to the Secre-
ary saying he will call on such and
UGH a date for the $1,000 900 the gov
rnment owes him. The first time he
allied the private secretary to the then |
Of the Treasury stumbled upon
plan that always works. He told him
would take some time to wrap up
o much money and asked the crazy
nan to call in an hour. The private {
ecretary expected in the meantime to {
make arrangements to have him taken ,