davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16

jackson, Miss. August 15.-tSpecial.)
The subject of good roads is one the
citizens of Jackson never tire or dls-
cussing and so far her taxpayers have
not grown tired of paying for them
During the past two or three years
the board of supervisors of this coun-
ty have issued bonds aggregating
$500, 900 for the purpose of construct
ing permanent highways in the hrst
and fifth supervisors districts, so that
only two-ffths of the county are con-
cerned in the burden. However, there
is no complaining on the part OF any
citizen. all of them appreciating the
fact that~the value of suburban and
farm lands has been more than dou-
bled. Three years ago it was next to
impossible for farmer living two or
three miles out of town to get in dur
ing January and February or any 9TH
er wet month. Now they come when
they get ready in auto or buggy and
can haul five times as big load now
as they could then.
These roads have cost about $4,000 per
mile, on an average. They are con-
structed of gravel, sand and clay and
those first constructed have stood the
test of two winters to the entire satis-
faction of all concerned.
A movement is now on foot to build
great north and south state high
way through the state, the idea being
to connect the cities of Memphis and
New Orleans. In order to do that 1t Is
necessary to enlist the aid and the CO.
operation of all towns and counties in
this state through which such road
will pass With that end in view the
jackson Board of Trade has named a
large number of delegates to meeting
to be held at Brookhaven. The purpose
of this convention is to arrange for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16

it. but honest lnjun, Just between you
and me, what is there really funny about
mothers-in-law?
l never saw anybody's mother yet who
was a fit subject for ridicule, did you?
The fact that she's somebody's mother
ought to wrap her foibles and weaknesses
Of she has any in an invisible mantle.
Did you ever go to a show In your life
when the audience wasn't convulsed when
an 'old maid was introduced as the OBJ
jeet for some cheap comedians wit?
And what is there about the average
spnster that is so funny?
Pathetic she is sometimes, with her
lonely little shawl wrapped about her
tired, Worn shoulders. while underneath
1t beats a heart as warm as yours or
mine, and just big and probably much
finer, or she is pretty with the independ-
ence of her life and latch key.
But when you come right down 20
brass tacks,' is there really anything 80
very funny concerning an 'old maid"
and If so, what is it?
A sense of humor is God given, a heaven
sent blessing, yet there are few of us who
cannot readily sympathize with the
crusty old bachelor who declared he hated
and abhorred those facetious people who
are endowed or rather obsessed, with an
idea that they are bright and original.
Il had to sit next to her at table in my
boarding house" the bachelor went ON to
say. ana She thought hlghly or her sense
of humor. She directed it at everything
and everybody. She thought she was very
amusing | found her only noisy ill-bred
and sarcastic. Now, | sit next to a dear,
old, sweet-faced lady, who is deaf. find
her far more entertaining and amusing"
Why doesn't some enrerprising person
start a school that would cover in its
teachings the lack that this story be-
moans-the field of the fun maker?
Why is It to laugh and when? But teach
us first. good school master, how to tell
when anything is funny
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
Eff hit warn't fer sum NV
dere faces, nearly all gals
would be pretty. Yassuml


as to what constitutes joke, being more
vital than a difference in opinions about
religion.
Once man grieved beyond reason for
his wife.
A sharp tongued neighbor explained his
effection for her by saying, "she always
laughed at his little jokes"
This explanation may be truer than she
knew.
1t argues a sympathy broad enough to
have endeared her to him and a strength
deep enough to have held her share OF
the big issues of life that they might have
faced together.
Yearly there are those of us who Won
der over the rights of April Fools day."
day."
The original who first put cotton in
the cakes on that morning ought to have
patented the idea for his descendants.
| They'd be multi-millionaires now with
an income passing the progeny of him
who supplied the needed hook and eye.
How do you know this particular break
fast table joke is funny?
| What part of 1t is funny and what
makes it funny?
There must be something excruclatingly
humorous somewhere, just as there can't
be the least possible doubt that 1t is
funny to see a pedestrian slip ON a ba-
| mana peeling.
The world takes keen delight IN such
an accident.
| The saddest individual alive does not
withhold his smile when the hurried per-
son is interrupted by perfectly good
banana peel--so it must be funny!
| | know man who positively declines to
| go to the very incest sort of house parties
because, says he
"I can't see anything funny in having
salt put between the sheets of my bed
and red pepper put in my shoes, and
cheese placed in the band of my new
panama. 1t may be that m getting old,
and since / fail to see anything funny in
such things, | suppose | am
! A woman of my acquaintance was re-
peating the oft heard expression:
you know, SO and SO isn't very
bright
In connection with an Incident that took
place in a neighboring town which she
was relating:
| "A party was given in my honor and
everybody appeared in all sorts of false
curls and bandeaux in their hair, when
Jane Abercrombie tyou know she ism t
right bright appeared with a bird 5
nest in her hair, and four tiny blue eggs
pasted in it. All of the family thought
1t was terribly funny, when one of the
| small children asked her mother what was
funny about the lady having the bird S
nest pinned in her hair? The mother
tried to explain it, but the child persisted
In saying that she knew she'd have liked
| the lady with the birds nest in her hair
better than'-all the rest for she didn I
sound a bit funny to her."
| OF course the mother-in-law joke must
| be funny, else all the editors in certain
wouldn't give so much time and space to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
80 HOW'DNOU'W WRITE g
M<u LOVE'LEHER ?as@@QsA) @Qs)
NINE. DE sTAEL AND vINcENzo MoNTI

II am more anxious than ever TO Dreak
it off She is the most egotistical the
most exctable, the most ungrateful, the
most vain, and the most vindictive OF
women | must have done with her or
die" He fled to Lausanne to escape nor,
but she followed him and "she threw her
self at my feet; she raised fearful cries
OF pain and desolationi heart of iron
could not have resisted"
But finally Madame de Stael made an
other one of those rapid switches of the
heart, transferring her affections to AL
bert de Rocca, young French officer. A
Spanish woman finding him left for dead
on the battlefield carried him home, say
Ing, 1T is pity that such a beautiful
young man should die" She brought him
back to health. He was only 23 and
Madame de Stael was 45, but they mar
ried although she did not acknowledge
the union until her deathbed. This was
not for long, however, for her health had
already been undermined and at the end
of lingering Illness, while in Paris, she
died in 1917, and upon her tomb is the
inscription:
Here rests one who never rested"
One of her many lovers was Vincenzo
Monti, poet of Ferrara. In one of her
letters she addresses herself to him in
this endearing style:
'I am deply disturbed on account OF
your fever, dear Monti. The ague of that
fever has gone to my heart. How can
bear the days that Will perhaps go by
without letters from you? You employ
the word "duty," which do not like, be-
cause sentiment always seems to me &c
be superior to it. Do you believe you
are without duty toward a person who
loves you more than any one else on earth
loves you?
II firmly believe you are necessary to
no ones happiness as you are to mine,
and that even In the flush of your youth
your presence never gave as much pleas
ure to any one as 1t will give to me at
Coppet. 1t is because I understand YOU
and know your character. your talent
your soul that If you do not wound my
heart 1 shall be attached to you my whole
life long. Dear Monti, press you to my
heart May this pure. tender embrace dc
good to your soul.'
Madame de Stael was really a wonderful
woman. Her life has been narrated In
many thousands of pages in European his
tories. There is hardly a detail of it thai
is not intensely interesting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
TUEsDAY-DOLLY AND THE GREAT LITTLE MADISON
HOLD CONVENTION TO BOOST
GOOD ROADS IN MISSISSIPPI
by f. II. FRANZ

an auto tour from Magnolia to Canton,
stopping at every town to whoop up
the road project
Such a tour will pass through five of the
best counties In the state-Pike. Lincoln,
Copiah, Kinds and Madison. There will
be hundreds of autos in line, all gaily dec
GRATED and carrying prominent business
men from every town along the line.
On the arrival of the tourists at Jack
son they will be met by delegation from
the Board of Trade and entertained in an
informal way.
Jackson has also accepted an invitation
to join Meridian in an effort to secure the
construction of a great east to west high
way between Meridian and Vicksburg,
and this also passes through Jackson. A
strong delegation will be sent to Meridian
in a few days, the board of supervisors
being among the number, and going pre-
pare to tell how Kinds county has built
her good roads extending to every point
of the compass from the Capital City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16

Miss Media Humphreys return to Blr-
mingham this week was an incident of
rare moment in musical circles. Those
who heard her sing Thursday evening at
the home of Mrs. Robert Newman
enjoyed delightful privilege
Miss Humphrey, who is an Alabama
girl is remembered here as the guest on
several occasions of Miss Louise Hum
phrey, her cousin, and of Mrs. Newman
She sang some time ago at a morning
meeting of the Music Study club, where
her work was enthusiastically received.
and also at one of the churches, when her
solo at the morning service caused many
questions among the members of the con-
gregation as to her identity. She is max
ing her home at present in New York city
with Mrs. Miller, a sister of Miss Louise
Humphrey and has been student for
the past II months in the studio of Caru-
son, a celebrated teacher and former Ital-
ian opera star.
Those who heard her sing last summer
In Birmingham, knowing her student
naturally anticipated an Improvement in
her then lovely voice, and were prepared
for the exquisite treat they received
Thursday evening. In Caruson's studio
last autumn Miss Humphreys singing
was all that could be expected of wom-
an of more mature years and greater
trainining; hearing her again during her
visit to this city her advance was consid-
cred nothing short of remarkable. 1t is
no difficult matter to predict brilliant
career for a girl who has so persistently
bar apf
especially one who was endowed in the
beginning with so exceptional a vocal Or
gan. Hers is phenomenal voice, one
with delightful quality and supported oy
an amazing amount of temperament. Her
high tones are unusually musical ana
strong and in one of her more difficult
arias her hearers were most enthusiastic
over what one of her listeners pronounced
the most beautifully poised mezzo voee
tone / have ever heard. Her tones are
all wonderfully clear and clean; her stac-
cato work exquisite No drawing room
musicale in Birmingham has ever been
more enjoyable or more Illuminating than
this one, to which Mr.. and Mrs. Newman
asked lust a few of their friends Mrs.
Newman, who is to assist Miss Humphrey
in a number of concerts this season,
played her accompaniments beautifully,
and her work was especially helpful TO
the younger singer. Among those whom
MIR. and Mrs. Newman invited We're Mr..
and Mrs. Rivers Carter, Judge and Mrs.
Oscar Hundley, Mr.. and Mrs. Richard
Johnston, Miss Myrtle Miles. Mr.. and Mrs.
Paul Mitchell, Mr.. and Mrs. Oliver Chal-
foux and Mr.. White. Mrs. Margaret Pat
ton King, Mrs. Miller and Miss Louise
Humphrey assisted in meeting the guests
Miss Humphrey is personally charming
The depth of her character, her gaiety
and her sympathy are evident in her in
depreciation of her songs. She has a
sweet, expressive face, and her graceful
figure and charming manner add pleas
ing element to the gift with which she
pleases most, her lovely voice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
NOTES

Mr. Paul Waddell and his daughter,
MISS Nemours Waddell will leave this
morning for fortnights trip east. They
will be at the Belmont hotel in New York
for few days and returning Will visit
In washington and Philadelphia.
Miss Winifred Waddell has as her guest
Miss Elizabeth Locl1ett of New Orleans
Mrs. oscar Hundley will leave in a few
days for brief visit to friends in Hunts
Vile.
Mrs. S. G. vann and Miss Harrell left
yesterday afternoon to visit friends IN
Kentucky.
Mrs. Joseph McLester who has been
visiting in the home of Mr.. and Mrs. j. A.
VanIIoose at Bangor, has returned nome.
Mrs. William Moughon and her daugh-
ter, Miss sMallie Moughon, are visiting
Tallapoosa, Ga.
Mrs. James John is spending August at
Mentone. She came to Birmingham for
dav or two this week, but has returned
to ncrth Alabama.
Mrs. J. T. Nixon is the guest of her
daughter. Mrs William Dempsey Partlow,
in Tuscaloosa.
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Larl,ins and little
daughter have returned from Boston.
While away Mrs Larkins was quite Ill,
but is better now.
Mrs. J T. Coulburn, who has been seri-
ously i'll at st. Vincent's, is pronounced
slightly improved Her condition, now
ever, is still regarded as alarming.
Mr. and Mrs. ]. H. McCune, who nave
spent several weeks at Blount Springs,
have returned home
Mrs Frank l.. Estep is expected home
today from Madison, where she spent the
week with Mr.. and Mrs. 7. L. Ashford
at The Plantation"
DIR. Joseph Greene. who has been visit
ing his mother, Mrs. Robert Greene, has
returned to his home in Asheville, n. {.
Miss Jean Burke of Montgomery sailed
yesterday from Savannah for New YORK
to spend a short time before going to
Augusta, Me-, to spend the remainder OF
the summer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
MISS FRANCES MACON AND
MISS MOORE ENTERTAIN

At the home of Miss Frances Macon a
delightful tea was given yesterday after
noon by Miss Macon and Miss Lena
Moore in compliment to the latter's guest,
Miss Willie Jordan of Autaugavlle.
Yellow blossoms were intermingled with
greenery to decorate the rooms in which
the guests assembled to enjoy a pleas
ant hour with the two hostesses and their
honoree. They were assisted in extending
a welcome by Miss Jessie Macon, Miss
Haywood Motion. Miss Blanche Glass,
Miss Gertrude Little, Miss Ruby Moore
and Mrs. Weyland Jones, who stood i'm the
parlor. Mrs. Nell Smith was in the IL
barry to serve punch and from the dining
room a tempting salad and ice course was
dispensed by Mrs. A. d. Smith and Mrs.
Keene.
over hundred members of the younger
set from Birmingham and East Lake were
included in the hospitality
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16

Madame de Stael was one of the most
brilliant women of the French revolution.
She was the daughter of Jacques Necker,
the minister of finance under Louis XVI
of France She was young, handsome and
at the death of her father received a large
fortune.
AS Madame Germane Neeker she had
many sutors, prominent among them be-
ing William Pitt and General Guibert, but
at the age of 20, through the interposi-
ton of Marie Antoinette, a marriage was
brought about between Germane and the
Baron de Stael Holstein, then Swedish
ambassador at the court of France. She
did not love him, although in her novel,
"Delphine," which had a great deal of
herself in it, she declared that a happy
marriage was the dream of her life.
As Madame de Stael she found her hus-
band an intellectual mesalliance. Some
times she lived with him and sometimes
she did not. But they seemed to drift
along together in fashion until his
death During the reign of terror she left
Paris but on the recognition of the
French republic by Sweden the de Staels
returned to Paris. After the Terror she
held a notable salon in Paris. She was
always an antagonist of Napoleon ana
of her the great Corsiean said: Her ar
rows could reach a man If he were seated
on a rainbow"
Finally, Mime. de Stael quarreled with
Napoleon openly and was forbidden to live
within 40 leagues of Paris. She spent the
next 10 years lin exile as she described
it. but it was associated with such great
men as Goethe Schiller Lords Byron,
Lansdowne and Holland, as well as Sam
uel Rogers, and everywhere she was the
lioness of the day.
When Madame de Stael was a girl she
looked upon General Guibert as her beau
ideal. Then came M. de Narbonne. with
whom she fell in love after she was mar
ried. She saved his life once during the
French massacre, hiding him in her house.
Then it was Camille Jordan, who lived
for some time in her house at Saint
Owen. And next came Benjamin Con-
stant, who became known as Constant
the Inconstant'' Their relationship was
melodramatic. He wrote of it himself:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
GIRLS DAY AT
ADVENT SUNDAY SCHOOL

Tomorrow will be girls day" at the
Church of the Advent Sunday school. The
programme has been arranged by the girls
OF the school, and they will have entire
charge of the exercises Visitors are cor
daily invited.
The programme includes:
Song by the school.
Opening exercises.
Song by the school.
Lesson period.
Vocal solo, Miss Daisy Lee Douglass.
arhe Highest Type of GIRL Miss Ed
wilma Wood
Instrumental solo, Miss Ethel Chumley
Talk Miss Minnie Kennedy, secretary
Birmingham Sunday School association.
Open conference.
Closing exercises.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
A True YokefelIow

II should like to have my name placed
upon your list should you have calls Tor
ma gazines, or from shut ms desiring
postals sent them or children wanting
paper dolls cut from magazines. | should
be glad to pay postage where the persons
could not really afford to do it them
selves. | also have some popular music
a year or so old. which l should gladly
give to some one. BESSIE j. /.
An old friend and true yokefellow VINO
enters the Circle with both hands full and
a heart to match. Note the number ana
variety of her offerings and the oreadtn
of liberalty, with which they are ten
dered.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
WOMAN ACCESSORY
TO HUSBANDS MURDER

Geneva, August 16.-(Special.) AFTER
getting in a religious fever the result of
attending holiness meeting, Mrs H.
Ivey, to relieve her conscience, made a
confession that she was accessory to the
murder of her husband 10 years ago and
told where the body was buried.
Mrs. Ivey said that Bill King, friend,
had given her poison with which to kill
her husband but that 1t had failed 20
work. Then King shot and killed Mr..
Ivey Later King shot and killed Tom
Powell and while in Jail at DeFuniak
Springs Fla, died. A search was made
and the skeleton of Ivey was found
The woman was given a preliminary
trial this week and held to the grand
jury without bail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
BIRMINGHAM FIRM
AWARDED CONTRACT

Bay Minette. August 15.-(Special)-The
members of the town council of tins place
have closed a contract with the South
ern Structural Steel company of BIZ
mingham for the erection of a jail for
the towns prisoners The officials state
that the contract calls for the starting
of the Jail at once, and it will not be
long until the ground will be broken on
the lot which has been secured for the
stronghold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
JURY is UNABLE TO
AGREE AT OPELIKA
Mistrial Ordered i'm Trial of Homer
Carmack, Charged With Folkes
Murder

Opelika, August 15.-(Special.) 1.-The taxi
ing of testimony in the trial of Homer
Carmack, charged with the murder of j.
j. Folkes, an old confederate veteran and
merchant of Phenix City, on Sunday, June
%, was concluded late Wednesday after
noon and the case went to the jury.
At 9 o clock yesterday morning the jury
reported to Judge Lum Duke that they
were unable to agree on verdict, and a
mstrial was ordered.
The jury stood enc for acquittal, three
for. murder in first degree and eight for
murder in second degree.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
NEW REALTY co. is
FORMED AT GADSDEN

Gadsden, August -(Special.)-Another
extensive addition to the city of Gadsden
will be made by the Brannon Realty COM
pany, articles of incorporation for which
were filed today. The company has pur-
chased 110 acres Of land and part of the
West Point addition between Forest ave-
nue. and Walnut street, west of the Stand
ard Steel plant, and adjoining the At
talla corporation. 1t will be developed.
and Walnut street will be opened to the
Alfalfa line. The consideration was
Sl65OO
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
ALVIN HOBBS CHOSEN
AT ASHLAND
Succeeds w. c. Horn, Who Has Filled
Office for Several Years-Ihe
Pruett Home Burns

Ashland, August -(Special)-At the
meeting of the council Monday night, Al
vim Hobbs was elected city marshal TO
succeed w. C. Horn, who has been mar
shall for some years.
This morning about s o'clock the home
of Francis Pruet was destroyed by fre IN
spite of the efforts of all parties, and most
of the furniture destroyed. The origin OF
the fire is unknown. The loss is covered
partially by insurance.
The revival closed at the Congressional
church Sunday night after being IN pro-
gress for a week, and the protracted SER
vice began at the Christian church sun
day right with the Rev. White of At
lanta in charge.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
From The Robin in the Snow

Greetings to friends and hearty thanks
to all the good Cornerites who have SO
kindly ministered to my mental and ply
sical comfort during the years when 1 was
excluded from the ranks of the healthy
and happy You good Samaritans nobly
needed the biblical command to Bear ye
one another's burdens. for you fairly
showered gifts upon me; infused patience
and courage into my weary heart; sus-
tsined my faith In humanity; delighted
me with your cordial. humorous letters
and taught me a valuable lesson of un-
selfishness. l owe all of you a debt which
1 can only repay by doing unto others as
you have done unto me. My shut in days
arc ended and only the great outdoors
can contain me now that health and
strength have returned and placed me IN
the ranks of the worlds busy workers.
No more weary months In hospitals for
me; no more dependence upon charity; no
plasters, poultices, pills and petulant
plants; no lying awake nights counting
the number of my various aches and fears,
and no more meals consisting of tea
spoonful of broth and a microscopic
cracker, I feel as if the world were mine
and had a mortgage on the moon!
hope now to become dispenser and never
moresa recipient of the loving charity
which cheers the poor and afflicted along
their weary way May heaven bless you
all is the prayer of tGuy T. %
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
WEEKLY DANCE AT
ASCHENBROEDEL CLUB

The Aschenbroedel club will give its
weekly dance at its hail. 1S091a Fourth ave-
nue. this evening at 9 o'clock. Music
will be furnished by the Musicians local
No. $50 of which the Aschenbroedel club
is a branch organization. These dances
are a weekly affair, and are we'll attend
ed by the musicians their wives and
fliends.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
HOW CAN YOU TELL
WHEN ANYTHING'S FUNNY?
By DOLLY DALRyMpLE

The soemn-faeed little boy who asked
his mother gravely. when everybody else
was screaming over something that he
didn't find in the least amusing:
How do you tell when anything is
funny2p
Has an army of sympathizers.
When is anything funny, and what is
funny. and why?
Some of us get through life laughing
at the convenient time. where the others
shrek because we haven't the moral cour-
age to differ from the opinion of the
crowd
Everybody else laughs at this place, so
we might as well give the line it's laugh.
If we don't laugh now, the actor will keep
on working 1t in until we do laugh; 50
therei
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-16
CONVENT DEDICATED
WITH MANY GUESTS

Despite the fact that lowering clouds
and thunder that threatened storm
throughout the early hours of the after
noon, the Convent of the Blessed Sacra-
ment was opened yesterday and formally