davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Tennessee Aln't.

A man who comes from tennessee
takes great pride in having sat silent
at dinner the other day while a New
Yorker, who has never been south OF
Philadelphia, told, amid applause, this
story-and planted it in a Tennessee
town:
Small Girl Ito grocer)-Ain't yer
got no onions?
Grocer amt said l amt.
Small Girl amt asst yer amt yer
amt. l asst yer is yer amt Now, is
yer or amt yer?
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13

See Darlington for good sand
a mile south of town. tt.
Fresh Strawberries every Wednes-
day and Saturday. Metropolitan
Cash Store.
Do
YOU wear made to order clothes
| can add to your saving; IT you
don't, I can add to your self salts
satisfaction. See me at Donahue;
Barber Shop, on Friday and Satur-
day. Seth Clarkson.
Second hand bicycle for sale. In
quire at this Office.
For Sale--Six head oxen, d years
old, sound and broke for all kinds
of work. f.. Dolquist, IA miles n.
+. of Cut Bank, (3t)
For Sale cheap for CASH new
wagons complete, for $4,000 each.
Call at Metropolitan Cash Store.
Lost-One black mare branded
u on on right shoulder Ln on
left thigh, four years old; one BLACK
mare three years old, branded 10
on right shoulder. $1,000 for ip-
formation or S25.00 for return pi
each. JOHN MALONE. Waller. !.
FOR SALE-Fine seed
oats. Kept in water-tight
building all winter and is
perfectly dry. Also some
excellent brewers !. barley,
two row. VIII e t St,o n e
r. -:if4,t;f { ~
OIdLiSS' Gry taStN '.ta ti.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Speeding Him.

Mr.. Weerius was making a call.
:" never take any chances with
holdup men," he remarked, looking at
his watch to fill up a pause in the
conversation. when l am likely to
be out late at night l always carry
my dollar watch"
why, there's nj danger this time,
is there?" smiled his hostess. ITS
only nine o'clock, and it certainly
won't take you more than half an
hour to get home"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
SeIF.PreseryStion,

Mrs. Hicks was telling some woman
about the burglar in her house
the night before.
YES" she said, 81 heard a noise
and got up, and there from under the
bed l saw a mans leg sticking out
Mercy" exclaimed a woman, "the
burglars legs?"
NO, my dear! My husbands legs.
He had heard the noise, too."-La-
dies Home Journal.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Occasional Visitors.

A notable housekeeper of the last
generation. before the days of screens,
had just announced that she never
had any flies.
But, Aunt Augusta" faltered the
timid visitor, ut seems to me that I
saw a few in the din~ing-room."
"Oh, those" replied her aunt, with
a majestic wave of the hand, "were
the neighbors' flies. They come in
occasionally. But, as l was saying,
we never have any of Jul own
Youths Companion.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
EXPLANATION Demanded.

Have you heard about poor young
Hicks trouble with his wife?"
mo. I've been out of town for the
last month. What is it,"
He sent his office boy up to the
house for his raincoat one day last
week and she found a memorandum
In the pocket reading Ribbon for
typewriter and Hicks is having 3
devil of a time trying to explain
Lippincott's.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Pat and the Clock.

One of the inmates of a New York
insane asylum, an Irishman, was sent
to an adjoining ward to find out the
correct time. He returned in a mo-
ment and announced:
"Twinty minutes t twilve."
pat, are you sur that clock Is
right" he was asked.
Right, is it," he replied. Dye
think it wud be in this place if it wuz
roight ?"-Judge.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Doinq Good.

hrs. Flitterby-So you Ire on the
visiting committee of your social
workers society. I should think you'd
End il dreadfully' irksome, making all
Esosa SUM calls.
Ms. Eunter-Fadde-I'm willing to
make the sacrifice for a good cause.
Ever visiting day I send my maid
around with my cards.-Judge.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Recent Horror.

The Doctor-The janitor Of the
building where I live says his father
and grandfather made their living by
working at similar jobs in the old
country.
The Professor (slightly irritated)-
Well, what do you want me to say?
That he follows in the footsteps OF
his projanitors?
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
No Wonder.

my wife doesn't like him."
"And yet he's a very likable fel.
low"
Eyes, but he came to our house to
dinner one day, and when my wife
told him to make himself right at
home he took off his coat and collar
and lighted his pipe"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
More Important.

mo woman knows how to drive a
nail"
And what of that? Every woman
knows how to drive a man any way
she wants him to 60"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Riuht AWAY.

Orator-Now, then, is there anybody
in the audience who would like to ask
a question?
Voice-Yes, sir; how soon is the
band going to play?
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Confused Ideas,

Pop, you know what's an ambu.
lance chaser?"
Yes, my SON"
We'll, amt he the same thing as a
settlement worker?"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Its Reconstruction.

"The military airship will shatteI
another cherished army tradition"
What is that?"
with al aerial corps, 1t will no
longer be a disgrace for a soldier ia
fly in battle"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13

Mr.. Hixon ION the way home from
church)-You had a most intent and
interested look in your expression dur.
ing the services. Did the sermon i'm.
press you?
Mrs. Hixon-No, l guess l was trying
to figure out how Mrs. Muchgold had
her hat trimmed.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Between Girls.

Maud-Why, the creature even hint
ed that I am indebted to the druggist
for my complexion.
Ethel-The idea! l know positive
ly, dear, that you always pay cash."
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13

Mr.. Converse-My uncle Is a vege.
tartan, so, of course, he is opposed to
eating eggs.
Miss Wabble-And so his little chill.
dren can't have any?
He has tried to compromise by of.
fering them hand painted elephants.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Double Paw.

Tim-Did YOU get anything for your
vote.
Bill-A s~uffragette gimme a kiss,
and me wife see her do 1t and gimme
q black eye.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Good WAY,

I'VE settle disputes fer office In
Plunkville without no trouble"
"As to how?"
n Enter all the candidates in q
checker tournament"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Why Not Drop2

Aviator Ito young assistant, who
has begun to be frightened)-Well
what do you want now?
Assistant (whimpering)-I want the
carbohydrates Magazine.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
No Comparison.

"That woman over there wholtaiks
so much. thinks she is a perfect we'll
of wisdom"
Not much. Wells do dry up some
times"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
His Fear.

Russian cars do not seem to care
much about going to Finland"
Naturally. There is always a pros.
pect that if they go there they will
see their Finnish"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Wire, Pleased!

The loosened clothespin wabbled-
Twas only made of pine
And the rude winds said, you wooden
head!
HI there! Get off the line!''
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Clever DAUGHTER.

Mamma, don't you think Schiller
quite out of date?"
Il certainly do
I'm so glad. ] just smashed his
%statuette in the drawing room.''
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Obtuse.

"Tm afraid poor Twobbersly has no
sense of humor."
I'm afraid So, too. Twobbersly
could attend a meeting Of a vice com
mission and never crack a SMILE"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Credits and Debts,

Some boys are credits to their dads
We favor such as these.
But then we know that other lads
Are liabilities,
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Just So,

Pedestrians should know their rights
That is my view.
Just Zeal in mind that they will find
They have a few.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13

First Burglar-Does Snatchem, the
pickpocket, make much money?
Second Burglar-No. He works al
most entirely among women shoppers.
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Automobile Tousie.

"She's a clever girl, all right"
"How so?"
"She a comb her hair TO look as II
she never rode in anything slower
than a 60-horsepower car"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
The Resemblance.

Il always feel that a lawyer is a
catlike creature"
What makes you believe that?"
Because he belongs to the fee-line
species"
Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1913-06-13
Quite the Contrary.

He spends his cash like water,
Does that young Doctor Swell,
And yet, it's plain, he doesn't
Procure 1t from the well.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30
MRS. JERMSTAD PASSES AWAY

Mrs. o. o. Jermstad passed away at
the family home in north Brookings
last Friday evening at 9:45. She had
been in poor health for the past five
years, although her condition was not
regarded as serious until the past few
months.
The funeral was held from the Luth-
eran church on Sunday afternoon, and
Rev. Fosness, who conducted the ser.
vice, preached a very comforting SER
mon. The service was largely attend
ed and loving friends brought many
floral tributes. Interment was made in
the Lutheran cemetery.
Mrs. Jermstad's maiden name was
Clara Johnson and she was the daugh-
ter of Mr.. and Mrs. Thos. N. Johnson,
well known residents of Sterling town.
ship. She was born in Vernon county,
Wisconsin, September IA, 1879, and
came to B~rookings county with her
parents when a small child. She was
married to o. o. Jermstad June 80,
1903, and had since made her home In
~Brookings. She is survived by the sor-
rowing husband and a little daughter,
five years old. She is also survived
by her parents and two brothers and
four sisters.
Mrs. Jermstad was a devoted wife
and mother and a good friend and
n~eighbor, and her death will be deeply
felt in the home, the church and the
community. The Register unites with
the friends and neighbors in extend
ing sincere sympathy to the bereaved
ones.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

of the company sacrificed individuality
to balance the whole, which Is In IT.
self sufficient to distinguish the true
artist.
The quartette opened the program
with an arousing Waltz Song from
Writings "Floriana" which vas suffic-
lent to insure an evening Of enjoyment.
AS an encore they sang a pretty Hay
DIN like selection which was equally
pleasing. Their work in the intricate
number from the "Stabat Mater was
sauItless and they sang a selection by
Lohr in response to the expressed APP
probation OF their audience. The final
number of the quartette consisted OF
three selections from a cycle by Will
son. Gentle Dawn coming between
the two brighter numbers was render
ed especially exactive and in the I'M
accompanied portions was given ex-
quisite expression. The other two
numbers were typical of the r~ollicking
merryGnakers at a rustic dance.
Miss Kimball in the Spring Song"
from Herbert's "Natoma" was extreme
ly pleasing in the coloratura passages
and found opportunity in the ensemble
numbers to show the beautiful Lyric
qualities of her voice.
Mice DaEar INNS 20, ttnnta In thn ar-
rangement of her numbers to secure
proper contrast and was no less skill
full in her performance. Her lower
register Is Of a very rich quality which
was we'll brought out in the attractive
Lullaby by Kate Vannah. She ap-
peared to equal advantage in the
bright Serenade which she sang as her
encore.
Mr.. Reed Miller fulfilled all our ex-
pectations. His pipes O'Gordon's
Men" by Hammond was intensely
dramatic and all were held by his
personality and their thorough
In his encore, a pretty
Scotch Ballade, his mezzo-voice powers
were effectively displayed. Mr.. Wheel
er. while too often sacrificing enuncia-
ton to power OF tone, gave an other
wise correct and pleasing rendition Of
The Trumpeter" and Lohr's Doctor
Some of the best work Of the even.
Ing which We can no mole than men,
lion were the two duets and the Faust
Trio, all Of which showed the singers
1t their best and received hearty COM.
BY no means the least artistic OF the
company Is Mr.. Lewis, the skillful &C
1t is seldom that one may
hear accomplishments so artistically
given. Always in closest touch with
he singer. always supporting, never
'ver-shadowing or presumptuous, his
work deserves especial recognition.
piano solos gave further evidence
II his command OF the instrument and
nusicianship.
Announcement was made that the
lecture by Senator Kenyon
would be somewhat delayed and that
The McPhales would give our next
some time in November.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30
MRS. DIES

Mrs. John Bogenrief, whose maiden
name was Frances Barbara Noll, was
born at Upton, Iowa, Oct. IA, 1887,
and passed away at the family resi-
dence, five miles northwest of town
October oath, being at the time of
her death 46 years and ten days Of age.
At the g Of twelve years she re-
moved with her parents to Sac county,
Iowa, two years later moving again to
Ida county, where she remained until
coming to Brookings county, s. D., in
the spring of 1910.
On the 9Th March, 1892 she was
united in marriage to John Bogenrief
and to this union was born one son.
Mrs. Bogenrief has been a sufferer
from cancer for a long time but with
great fortitude she bore up until the
end came and she slipped away home
out Of the hopelessness OF disease to
the Hope beyond.
She leaves to mourn her loss an
aged father, a husband and son, two
brothers in Iowa and one sister Of
Parker, 8. d., besides a large circle Of
friends.
Funeral services were held on Sun
day afternoon from the M. E. church,
conducted by the pastor, Rev. Bruce.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

wall Of the bank office, near the front
door.
A representative Of the Register
called at the banking Office and was
told that the clock would measure
about nine feet in length, and the
dials would be about thirty inches in
diameter.
Not only Is the mechanism to be a
first class clock, but there Is connect
ed with it a set of powerful chimes,
which will ring four bells at the quar-
ter hour, eight bells at the half hour,
twelve bells at the th~ree-quarter hour,
and the full sixteen bells at the full
hour, followed by striking Of the hour.
1t is t. be expected that the clock
will be fully installed and in running
order within the next few days, al.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

The Bank Of Brookings has been an
unusually busy place during the past
week. Workmen have been preparing
to install a large chimeclock to be
fastened to the outside Of the building,
extending out about five feet from the
building owe the entrance to the bank
ing room.
The clock will have two faces so
that people going either north or south
on the street can tell the time, either
day or night, as the clock will be bril-
liantly Illuminated in the evening. 1t
will also be closely enclosed in a
metal frame, with glass fronts over
the dials, SO that no weather will in
terfere with the usefulness of the
clock, as it will be controlled by a
large master clock located OF the south
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

Next week q special Agricultural
train. under the auspices OF the State
College and the State Dairymen's AS
ISOLATION. will carry the gospel OF bet
ter farming to = large section Of the
state. The train win leave Brookings
Monday morning and go over the
NORTH Western line to the Halls and
then back to Pierre and over the north
branch to this city again. the trip con-
Stunning the entire week. The special
agricultural train idea has been tried
with good succsss in other northwest
ern states and there ID every reason
to believe that the State College train
Win aocompiish ~ thar ito sponsers
anttcipaxs.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

Those papers that were bewailing
the ingratitude Of the state in allowing
General Beadle to go to the Soldiers
Home seem to have shed their salty
tears before they ascertained the
facts. The general 10 not going to the
home because he has to, as he has
sufficient money to are for himself
but will spend some time there taking
medical treatment.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

though just when the chimes will first
he heard is a matter of some uncer-
tainty for the reason that the fasten-
ing of the brackets holding the clock
70 the front OF the building is attend
ed with great difficulty on account Of
the extreme hardness of the stone
which composes the front of the bank
building. Drills, chisels, etc, have
been quickly dulled when turned on
this rock under pressure, and it has
been necessary to send out of town
for tools particularly adapted to rock
of this unusual hardness.
The bank has placed in its window
a large placard showing the words
Familiarity associated with the full
Westminster chime, which rings at
the full hour:
Lord, through this hour
Be thou our guide,
So, by thy power
No foot shall slide"
When completed this chime clock
will make one Of the interesting points
Of our city, as a good chime attracts
attention wherever located, and the
bank is to be commended for its act
in combining their advertisement
which will appear above the dials Of
the clock with such a useful and pleas
ure-giving improvement as the chime
clock will be to this community.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30
PRODUCE CO. FOR HRooKINos

The Brookings Produce Company
was organized here this week, the in
c~orporators being +. M. Ellis, Philo
Hall and Charles E. Hall. The stock of
the company has been taken by quite
a large number Of Brookings citizens.
The company will build ut n
starting work just as soon as the
weather moderates. A one-story build
ing. 50x30, with full concrete basement,
Of tile faced with brick will be erected
this fall. It will be located on the
railroad r~ight-of-way east OF the Farm.
ers elevator and at the foot Of Fifth
avenue. It will have facilities for
loading two cars on track on one side
and taking care OF two teams at the
other side at the same time. 1t will be
equipped with q dark room and outfit
for the handling and Gambling Of eggs.
The eggs when they come in will be
sorted and graded by this method. The
company will ship its poultry dressed
and to that end will install the most
modern dressing and packing plant
that IL 20 be had. This building is OK.
pected to take care OF the business
this winter. but the coming year will
likely see another substantial building
erected
The company win handle all kinds
Of farm produce. including butter.
eggs. poultry Of all kinds. potatoes and
other vegetables. hides. wool. etc.
They win establish . cash market, pay.
Ing the highest market price at all
times. They win also ship In fruits
by the car and Job them In smaller
lots to the surrounding towns.
The company viii. we bslive. nh q
long felt want ~ Brookinss has needed
u concern Of this kind for years. II
will be . good thing for the city. a. 1t
win draw made here from quite q die
lance. and II should be . fine thing for
the farmer. a. 4 win take ali Of his
produce and pay him the highest cash
price for II. A year ago the farmers
surrounding Brookings lost thousands
|oe dollars because there was no one
to handle their potatoes on account Of
tie low market but with = produce
|company hers this VIII not happen in
- future. TAe company Il not organ
|inea ~ = moneySnahing concern but
~ ocmelhinG that y : bsnenE 70 the
|tomnenltys - ~ stockhoadsrs wsH
- 1neiuosa = itspays ct ~ soms.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

The surgeon general OF the army
says that the slit skirt and xray gown
r not the menace TO health in cold
weather that more eubstantial gar.
ments are. However, the surgeon gen.
eral 10 a 'fittle late. as we understand
that the above mentioned garments
are going out Of style and the fact
that they are healthful win weigh but
little II they are not stylish.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30
CARD OF THANKS

We wish to extend our heartfelt
to the kind friends and neigh
bors for their sympathy and assist
ance during the illness and at the
OF the death OF our wife and
mother. Also We wish to thank the
friends for the many beautiful flowers.
o. o. Jermstad and daughter.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

The Register has another explana-
ton OF the primary law this week,
this time by the author himself. who
should and probably does know more
about the than any other man.
We print this as a matter of informa.
ton for our readers and we trust that
they will become fairly well ~acquaint.
ed with the law from this explanation
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

Secretary Bryan does not seem to be
able to remain silent for any length
of time. Now that the chautauqua
season is over he is out stumping for
his party.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

II reports are true. the state univer-
sity at vermilion needs q head and
the head needs a big club with nerve
enough { use 1t. Governing an insti-
tuition Of this character by a board Of
control that does not control is q fat
failure.-Iroquois Chief.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

Sioux Falls is going to have q fair
next year, the Tri-state Fair and Race
ing Association having been organized
there the past week. The capital
stock is $4,000, and with this amount
Of money and the Characteristic Sioux
Falls push the Queen City should have
quite a fair.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

The settlers in the Grand river
country on the boundary between this
state and North Dakota have organic
ed a company to finance an irrigation
project that will irrigate 5000 acres
Of land.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

Emmeline Parkhurse is abroad In
the land, but doesn't give any indica-
ton of starting suffragette riot. She
probably knows that the starvation
gag wouldn't work in this country.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

The rebels at Vermillion seem to
have been routed and South Dakotans
can now devote their attention TO the
Mexican situation or the coming poll
teal campaign.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30
CARD OF THANKS

We wish to extend our thanks to
the neighbors and friends for their
kind assistance during the long i'll.
ness and death Of our dear wife and
mother and for the beautiful floral
offerings.
John Bogenrief and Son.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1913-10-30

thing we believe the city mar and the
farmer can boost for with profit to
themselves.