The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1913-01-23
Cats and Coons
BY NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press

| III way ludI WAS powerful unpleasant.
Some o us are sOt in our ways and
some O. us haint | used to be one a.
the sot kind. If | said anything, no
matter If | knOwed | was wrong, I'd
stick TO it to the last. Sich a critter
comes mighty nigh bein' plumb fule.
but no one could have made me believe
it years ago.
"One Sunday, years ago, the old wO-
man wanted Inc to so to the preachin'
with her. 1t was nice fall day, and
/ wanted to loaf around and see if the
coOns was comm down from the noun
tingS.
she was huffy when she got back.
and not a word was said at the supper
table. AFTER she'd cleared things away
she got down the Bible and said:
"Zeb White, the preacher. was
preachin' to us today about DanI in
the lions den, and | want to ak YOU
some questions
LAX away said.
"'Was them regular lions, with teeth
and claws?
"'Can't say
do you know why the lions didn't
eat Danl|
Nope.
land you don't keer. do you?
"'NOt a whop.'
Wall, you keep right on bein' mean
and see how you'll come out. A man
may be SOt ag'in his wife and not suf
fer too much, but when he's sot ag'in
the Bible that's a different thing. |
wish you'd find the place about joiner
and the whale and read it to me-
L hain't pinin' to read this evenin'.'
says l.
But you believe that the whale
swallered him. don't you:'
81 hain't sayin' as l do or don't
What I'm thinkin' of is whether them
coons will come down in my co'nfield
tonight
And a Sunday night, too she
gasps. Zeb thar's suahly rod of
punishment laid up for you. You was
sot ag'in Danl, and now you are sot
ag'in joiner. and don't you be thinkin'
you'll see the end Of it without trou-
BILE. VIII you read me about the chill
dren who was devoured by the b'ars?'
Not jest now. I'm waitin' to hear
the old dawg bark to show that the
coOns have arrove.'
But how many children do you
think thar was?'
"T hain't countin'.'
"Waal, how many b'ars?'
"'Can't say. Might not have been
single child or a bar
Then yO're ag'in them too.
wouldn't be in your shoes fur this
we're hull Cumberland mountains.
don't reckon you believe about the
children of Israel passin' across the
Red sea dry shodr
al hain't saying as do
"Jest then my old dawg begun TO
bark and rush around. and l took
down my gun and went out heard
a great ruStlin' and spittin' and scat.
term. and | reckOned that mo- than q
hundred coOns was movin' down on
the con.
II called to the dawg to sick 'em,
but he drapped his tail and sneaked
Into the house. Feared like a funny
thing for him to do. but l went down
among the con without him I had
skassly got thar when | heard sun
thin movin' about and fired at it.
THAT was one of the blunders of
my life. The powder smoke was still
hangin' in the air when half a dozen
wildcats began to climb all over me.
THE only thing l could do was to
start for the house, and as 1 stag
gered along l kept mp yellin'.
Il was clawed and bit and scratched
from head to heel. and l hadn't huff
clothes on me to cover a silver dollar.
1 was jest that scared and done up
that l tainted away and fell in heap,
and when | cum to l was on the bed
and the old woman was dressin' my
hurts.
''She had to begin at my scalp and
work down to my heels, and ii took her
all the rest of the night. l felt bad
huff, l kin tell you, but she made me
feel a heap wuss. She didn't say q
single word to me fur hours, bat when
she had about finished me up she
started off with:
"'Zeb, do you reckon them wes reg
lar lions in the cage with DAMP
with all my heart. do says.
land them children of Israel snG
the Red SeaT
az believe every last word Of it.
Linda
land is the dawg To be whipped for
not maxim as big fu;e of himself as
you did?
mot a whop. reckoned on whop-
pin him for not mixin' in. bur TIL let
1t go this time. Anything mo'y
"'Nuthin' mo-, Zeb,' she says as she
Gums over and kisses me, ''cept that
you hadn't better git too frisky ag'in
an think you are a bigger man than
Providence
LINDA says I. 4 suah thought them
was coons.'
"'Of cose you did-of co'se.'
land l reckoned on gett,n' Eve or
six prime pelts'
"'Yes. you did,
"Do you think Providence kin turn
coons into wildcats at q miDits no
ticeT
"'Of co'se he kin. Whenever arter |