The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1913-10-30
His First Lesson In
Medical Practice
By THOMAS r DEAN

Tfsdale was as sensitive as bird. All
she knew about physicians was when
one Of them came to the house. felt
some ones pulse, asked about sundry
symptoms and. taking out square bit
Of paper, wrote certain hieroglyphics
On II that an apothecary understood.
What Bertie. as she called him. was
soing through to acquire medical ed
ucation she had no idea. That he ate
peanuts OF the breast Of a cadaver he
was at work on In the dissecting room.
that he used the top Of skull, invert-
ed. for tobacco box: that be frequent
" took a hand. a foot or some other
member Of the human body to bis room
to cut to pieces. she had not even
suspicion. She supposed that a med
ical school was like other schools
books, books. nothing but books. and
nice. clean books at that-while gen.
teel professors lectured on how to cure
q stomach ache and when to give the
baby parsgoric.
Bert, aware of her innocence. was
ysry careful not to disturb her nOtioBs
OF the medical profession by enishtsn'
ing her. By an unfortunate contrs-
temps he suddenly burst upon her IN
Ms true trightfulness. She had been
vtsstins 'ffisnd n nefshborins city
and was returning by rail. She had
been IN the ear bot q fsw minutes
whensshs sew ths bsek ofa bead 'thft
looked fanifiar. II was turned sside
toward q man who sat beside its OWL
sr and displayed tie profile os Mr. Bert
Sawyer. Facing the two sat 6sure
done up IN q big shawl.
Horrible to relate. the face OF the
figure was that OF skull.
Mr.. Sawyer and his friend Billy Pc
terson had learned where the skeleton
Of a human being could be bought
cheap. They had gone for it purchased
It and were taking 1t home. There were
but few persons In the car, and the
conductor had good naturedly permit
ted them to seat 1t opposite them
selves.
Just as Miss Tisdale got into the
car, recognized her lover and caught
sight Of the grinning face with'no nose
and empty eye sockets the conductor
came through the train and. passing
the two medicos. punched their tickets.
"Fare, governor" said Mr.. Sawyer,
addressing the skeleton. Produce your
ticket or you'll be put off,"
The skeleton continued to- grin. the
conductor smiled, and the men In the
car seemed to think it all very funny.
There were two women besides Elsie.
one sitting in the next seat and one
farther forward. Neither Of them
seemed to consider Mr.. Sawyer's action
a bit funny. As for Elsie, she was
paralyzed with horror.
"Oh, he's all right" said the other
medico. Hes no deadhead," and, slip
ping his own ticket in the band Of his
hat. he put the hat on the skeletons
head.
This caused burst of laughter from
the men in the car and asscowl from
the women.
Smoke, governorT said Bert, thrust
ing a cigar between the skeletons
toothless and gumless jawbones.
Another laugh from the men and
murmur Of indignation from the wom-
en-. The train rounding a curve, the
skeleton lost its balance and fell
against the arm Of the seat.
"Sit up, governor" said Bert. Don't
be rolling around that way. The pas
sengers will think you've been drink
ing"
81 smell bis breath" said Billy-"gin
and lemon peel"
The conductor was sitting at the end
Of the car, and one Of the women
called to him and told him that If he
didn't stop that indecent behavior on
the part Of those young men she
would report him for negligence OF
duty. At this the conductor went to
the two medics and told them they
had better roll their bony companion
In his shawl and stop the fun. To this
they acceded, and that ended the per-
formance. Soon after the train rolled
into the station the medics and the
governor" went out through the front
end Of the car. while Elsie left 1t at
the rear. She held her handkerchief
to her eyes to conceal her tears and to
avoid being recognized by Bert. whom
she intended never to meet again as
her fance.
The next mornings mail brought
him a note from her containing the
few words:
"Our engagement is broken"
Sawyer looked at it sidewise and
endwise, then shook it as If 1t were q
toy puzzle He could not understand
it. Anyway something was wrong,
and he went right over to the house to
find out about 1t. Mrs. Tisdale came
down with a suppressed smile and told
him the cause Of the break. Elsie had
come home the day before heartbro-
Ken. She had supposed she was going