Norwich bulletin., 1913-05-20
NORWICH DOCTORS ANNUAL MEETING
Medical Association Elects Dr. Herbert H. Howe For President For Next Year-Paper by Dr. James N. West of New York-R C. Plaut Makes Hit With Humorous Speech at Banquet.

i 1 towards the simple life and the home 1 iy and healthy pleasures our fathers l enjoyed. More is demanded of profes- 1 sional men now than ever before. The l standards are higher. More prepara- l ton and study is required each year. More Instruction in Sanitation. l The children should be taught more 1 of sanitation2than they are in our public 1 schools, and this course should be compulsory in both our public schools and colleges If we can bring the children up to an appreciation of 1 some of the things to avoid and to do
 great strides will be made in decreas- 1 ing the death rate and in removing 1 the criticism Dr. OsIer recently made 1 as to the sanitary conditions in rural 1 Connecticut. Dr. Oslers indictment is not based upon a very careful exam ination and may be classed with some of his other utterances which he has now, I believe retracted. an din his own person is giving the lie to every day. I have seen some newspaper discussion recently of the bill pend l ing at Hartford with reference to the pollution of our streams particularly through sewage disposal. We may postpone action on such a measure, but the time is not far distant when it will have to come. Commercial considerations will have to give way eventually and up to date methods in NOAeQ TOT the oASpoSIdI oA O SlIS offal
 Two Menaces to Health
 We have lived through the filling in of COmStock's pond, and still survive Hollyhocl Island, but both violate all sanitary laws and were or are a con stant menace to the health of our peo- pie A bigger. buster, better Norwich would abolish the one and prevent the repetition of the other
 It is to the credit ,t your profes- sion that you have been able to out grow the dissensions which once so ! widely separated the different schools of medicine After all, the real suffer- CT from a continuance of such petty squabbles is the public. and as one of them I have no sympathy or toIer- ance for any one disposed to continue the foolish strife that has marked some periods of your profession. 1 congratulate this city on the high character and professional attain ments of it's medical men. and 1 thank you for the opportunity of saying this and of enjoying the hospitality you have so generously bestowed. II any ill effects follow this occasion 1 shall follow the course indicated by a friend of mine who had received a bill from his doctor, and said: Well, doctor, 1 have no objection to paYing you for the medicine, but I will return the visits"
 Postmaster Tingley remarked that the speak aker's words seemed to qualify him for membership in the medical as- sociation, and he then introduced R. C- Plaut whose topic on the menu cards
 was given as Music Enhances the Growth of Hair" and his name was indicated as R ED c. Plaut.
 R. c. Plaut's Witty Response.
 Mr. Plaut's topic was treated in his charaCteristically humorous manner,
 keeping the doctors in roars of laugh ter as he spoke as follows:
 Gentlemen: l wish to thank you for inviting me to your banquet tonight, and l wish to thank you for giving me an opportunity to realize one of the great ambitious of my life to make speech. To stand up before an audi ence made up of people who know nothing about the subject upon which one is going to discourse seems to me would be a comparatively easy matter, but to face an aggregation such as the present .company-every one of whom probably (notice I say proba- bly) knows more about the subject than l do, is, l assure you, a nerve r3cking experience; and if 1 only dared to presume 1 would think that when pr. Walker asked me if I would speak at this time. I instantly thought that business in the medical profession was quiet, and they were looking for a case. Pardon me if I use a Latin ex- pression, "Bigus Headus," but to show you that I escaped from one of the diseases commonly called "Coluds Feetus," I am here, ana assure you ali l am in my element.
 Music and Hair.
 The subject was left entirely to me, : in fact Dr. Walker said take a week and think it over. Well. I began to think, and finally decided there were two topics in your profession that I was in my mind, qualified to talk up- on. person learns best from actual experience, and when a little expense is attached to it, he learns so that he doesn't forget il; so l hesitated be- tween Obesity, and How to Avoid It. or Hair, and How to Preserve It. The former l found out can be accom- plished in satisfactory manner by stop ping the habit of eating; this I tried, but finally gave up. But the subject Hair, that's where 1 shine, and linking my destiny with my business, I decid- ed on a subject, Music a Patent Hair Restorer."
 Now the authorities where I base my information will be found in the med teal library of the Preston City con scrEatory. My authority says 'thAt if you take up the tortures of the plano fiddle, harp and certain other instruments, 1t will convert hairless heads with frequent applications into luXuriant hair gardens which would make the seven Sutherland sisters need your immediate attention
 In support of my discovery, l offer the names of Farrell Eldred, Pader- ewski, de Pachman, Ysaye and other noted musicians who are as famous for their hirshute achievements as for their musical ability It is intimated that famous musicians have been aware of the beneficial effects of music upon the hair for centuries. and have jealously withheld the secret from the general public for fear of inn pairing their hall mark. Some go as far as to accuse the original old music masters of taking up their musical vo- cation for the sole purpose of keeping out of the hard boiled egg class.
 Piano of First Importance.
 In crediting the various instruments for the part they have played in ac- celerating human hair, the piano comes under the wire first, without a strug- gle. That champion piano players nave more haid than they can manage Will be conceded without further argu- ment 1t is impossible to mention any or the famous players of ivory tick lers without conjuring up pictures of hanging gardens, hay mows, and la dies muffS But the piano'S claim to distinction as a hair reStOrer does not rest entirely on the heads of the fam ons artists. The most obscure piano thumpers are invariably well supplied with hair c don't play a note). on second thought 1 cannot recall an in- stance of ever seeing bald headed plaHo player, piano tuner, or plano