The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-09-05
The Elimination Of
Arizona Joe
b. SWIFT

was then called the far ~west-there Il
no far west now-which half a century
ago was a "low down" settlement For
q time there was gun law only; then
Judge Lynch stepped in and improved
things somewhat. Shooting was re.
duced to a few. These few killed one
another or were killed by some one
else, except Arizona joe. who came
from the worst territory on the cont.
nent Of America. Joe was left like a
noxious weed in a garden and had be.
come altogether undesirable.
Perhaps a deep rooted stump In a
clearing would be a better smile, for q
weed is easily dug up. while a stump
clings tightly to the soil At any rate,
to get rid Of Joe, though necessary ia
the further development Of Arlington,
was a hard proposition. Indeed. it was
the consensus of opinion that he might
be allowed to remain since all Of bis
kind except himself having been killed
there would be no further food for his
powder. But Joe took 1t upon himself
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and this was not only immoral. but In.
terfered with the mercantile prosperity
Of its citizens.
Prominent men Of the town held .
meeting and agreed each 10 pull q mum.
Der from a hat-one. two. three. etc.
be drawing one to try to kill Joe and.
II he failed. to be followed By the rest
in order Of number till q dozen had
been killed or Joe got I'D Of But
their wives objected and convenedsfor
the purpose Of taking the matter into
their own hands. Mira Dowly arose
aud said:
Ladies. you all know that there's
only one way for a woman to get the
bulge on a man-thats to marry him.
Ill engage to hire q woman who will
tame Arizona Joe. She came to these
parts ten years ago-from jail, I reck.
on-and has had seven husbands In
the meantime. The 6rst got drowned
while they was crossin' q bridge to-
gether disputin' over a counterfeit bill.
When she got tired Of the second she
set a vigilance committee on him, and
he dangled at the limb Of a tree. The
third she shot in the back while he
was wtndin' the clock. The fourth
Never mind any more Of these In.
t~eresting fac's," interrupted one Of the
ladies. How much money would be
r%equired7"
II reckon 500 would be ample com.
pensation. Mrs. vendig-that's her
last name-could be got for that, and I
propose to work It by maxim a match
between her and Joe II we can do It
we'll have no more trouble with him.
I assure you"
what makes you think he'll marry
herr"
Because she's good ,lookin' and has
a w1nnin' way with her. You know
how 1t is yourself. A woman can soft
solder a man mighty One till. she's
married to him and give him the lash
after the ceremony has been per
formed"
The money was raised and Mrs. Ven.
digs services engaged. She came to
town, met Joe on the street. smiled at
him D%elilah-like. and he fell into the
trap. The secret was known to every.
body In town except the victim. Three
days after the meeting Mrs. vendig
became Mrs. Joe-no other name was
required by the simple marriage cere-
mony used. which was a Scotch mu.
tual pledge without wi~tnesses-and the
set up housekeeping In the cabin
Joe had previously occupied alone.
During the evening of the nuptials
sounds were heard to emanate from
their cabin denoting a family jar. The
nelghbors came to their door. or put
their heads out Of the windows to
watch for what might happen. The
sounds grew louder and 6ercef and
deeper and shriller, and presently the
door vas opened. a body was thrown
out and the door slammed to and bolt
ed. Mrs.. Joe had been elected.
She had been a tribe stunned By her
fall. but got up and. going to the door.
began to hammer on It, scoldlng. yell.
ing. shrieking.. Joe was obliged to tis-
ten to epithet after epithet spoken in q
tone that would make the blood Of the
stoutest man curdle and accompanied
BY vigorous kicks on the door. The
peace Of the town was disturbed, but
the citizens didn't mind It q bit % long
the object was accomplished.
Midnight came and there raj no