davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
When Irylno First Met Bernhardt.

It is related by an American man
who was Sarah Bernhardt's escort to-
the London Lyceum theater the first
time the Frenchwoman saw Irving,
that the English actor sent an invi-
tation to the actress begging her to
take supper with him after the per-
formance in the famous Beefsteak
rooms of the Lyceum. 1t was the nrst
meeting of the two great payers
Sarah spoke no English, Irving no
French. Nevertheless they discussed
art and showered each other with com
pliments until nearly four o'clock IN
the morning, Sarah's American es-
cort, a ready linguist, acting as inter
prefer. This is fair example OF how
Irving spent his nights-and ne palo
the price. --
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Writing Pad.

A compact travelling case is book.
shaped writing pad, which folds over
fatty, and when open reveals compart
ments for all the correspondence nee
essities, as we'll as a calendar and mar.
row slides holding memorandum slips
One Of these fits nicely into hand
bag.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
HThnu Madest Me for ThYself.W

TOU "dUSot HV EOf ny WITT
o thou God Omnipotent, who so
carest for every one of US, as If thou
caredst for him alone; and SO fer all.
as If all were but one! To thee will
I intrust whatsoever l have received
from thee. So shall I lose nothing.
Thou madest me for thyself, and my
heart Is restless until 1t repose In
thee. Amen.-St. Augustine.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Honey Fudge.

Boil together cupful each Of sugar
and milk until it forms soft ball II
tested in cold water; add cupful OF
honey and boil until the mixture can
be tested as before; then add nut
of butter and tablespoonful OF vine
gar; mix all together and pour into
shallow tins to cool.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Honey Mousse.

Beat separately the yolks OF two
eggs. and mix with a cupful of honey.
Heat gently over gas until the mix
ture is thick-do not boil. Let 1t
cool, then stir in the whipped whites
of two eggs. Add half pint OF whip
ned cream, and mix carefully. Put into
q mold and set on ice to freeze.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Evening Things Up.

takes US some time to train a
girl" remarked the head Of the large
department store. "And then you lose
q lot of girls through marriage" "Yes;
but things even up. A lot of girls get
tired of their husbands and come back
to u.s."
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Eavorite Bermudian Dessert.

Fresh cocoanut. peeled and grated
With a coarse CRATER Moisten with
the milk" of the cocoanut. Place In
individual glas dishes and put on each
generous portions of guava jelly. With
this may be served plain sponge cake
or az unsweetened biscuit
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
WhItelaw Reid to Newspaper Men.

WhItelaw Reid to Newspaper Men.
Whitelaw Reid, in speech some
years ago at literary dinner. deliV-
cred himself of a maxim which he
suggested should be hung up in every
newspaper Office In the world. It
was: Fewer words, shorter stories,
better told" And all the newspaper
men present raised a cheer.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
GaIsworthy kphorIsme.

Nothing that's true is cynical, and
nothing that Is cynical Is true.
The word smart" is the guardian
angel Of all fashions, and fashions are
the guardian angels Of vulgarity.-
For Love of Beasts" by John Gals.
orthy.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Girl BURGLARS Foot BETRAYED Her.

A young girl burglar who robbed a
Paris tobacco shop was escaping by
the roof when she put her foot
through the kitchen skylight.' The
cook saw her foot appear through
the glass and sent for the police, who
reached the girl by means of ladder
and took her to the police station
London Mail.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04

When a Public Official Goes Wrong.
when public servant gets caught
doing something he ought not to, he
always seems to derive lot of sat.
isfaction from pretending that his
motives are misunderstood" says an
Ohio paper. That isn't what he says
He says: 81 have no desire to try my
case In the newspapers"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Under Baby's Plate,

Babies are babies and cannot help
spilling things at the table. Place
large sheets of waved or oiled paper
under the baby's plate. beneath the
tablecloth. This prevents wetting the
tsble mat and saves much labor.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Heaviest Tax.

Idleness and pride tax with a heaV.
Ter hand than kings and parliaments.
II we can get rid Of the former we
may easily bear the latter-Benjamin
Franklin, Letter on the Stamp Act,
1855.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Sauce.

One teacup of milk, one tablespoon
of butter and one Of cornstarch. Boil
until thick. Beat one raw egg and
heat in slowly, adding liquor Of sal
mon. one teaspoon at time; one tea
spoonful of good tomato catsuD. This
Is a delicious dish and will always
f3nd favor with the men of the family
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Social livinQ.

Union, organization, complex inter,
service are the essential processes of
a growing society; in them, the ever
increasing discharge Of power along
widening lines Of action is the JOY
and health of social life.-Gilman.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Paw Bio Price for Water,

Water is sold by the ton at Per-
nambuco, Brazil. 1t is piped from
springs eight miles out from the city,
and is furnished to ships at eighty-one
cents a ton within the harbor
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Our Trouble.

DR.. Orison SWEET Marden, discussing
success in New York, said: Economy
is the road to financial success-and
most people in this impatient age try
to do the trip in costly, high-speed
autos"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
WIfe's Ashes as an Ornament

Wife's Ashes as an Ornament.
An ingenious method Of disposing OF
the ashes of a cremated body has to
be recorded. After woman had been
cremated the husband took the ashes
to a chemist for the purpose Of ex-
tracing the iron, which he is now
wearing set in his ring, as one would
wear a diamond.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
CoIiede Secret.

Bacon-What did your boy learn at
college? Egbert-Says he can't tell
me. Bacon-Why not? Egbert-
Says it's a secret. acknowledgements!
Egbert-No. You know, he learned
the football signals.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
To Clean a Gas Rance,

The loose parts of gas range fre'
quently become so greasy and dirty
that they can scarcely be cleaned
Place these parts on the Goals in the
furnace when the fire is low and II
will quickly burn them quite clean
without injury.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Beauty.

Beauty is as summer fruits, which
are easier to corrupt and cannot last;
And, for the most part, 1t makes a dis
solute youth and an age a little out
of countenance. But yet certainly
again, if it light well, 1t maketh YER
tues shine and vices blush.-Bacon.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
HMethod In Madness, I"

"Why do you always insist on talk.
Ing about the weather to your bar.
ber?" "You wouldn't have me talk
about anything so exciting as poll.
tics to man who is handling a razor,
would you?"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
calron oaf.

Four eggs beaten separately, three
tablespoons melted butter, half teacup
bread crumbs, dash of f.red pepper, one
can salmon without the liquor, little
chopped parsley. pinch Of mace. Mix
all well together and bake one hour.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Mo Hurry for That Vehicle.

A short-sighted old lady in hurry
to mount tram car held up her um-
brella and shouted to the driver Of a
passing vehicle, stop! Stop!" to
which the driver replied, Don't be in
a hurry, mum; it amt your turn yet"
It was a hearse.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Ham Toast,

Mix with one tablespoonful of finely
chopped ham the beaten yolk Of an
egg and a little milk. Heat over the
fire without boiling and spread over
thin buttered toast. Sprinkle with
minced celery II desired. tz
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Celery Salad Sandwiches

Chop four hard-cooked eggs fine.
Take white portion Of one head cell
cry, chop fine and mix with egg.
Season with salt and pepper and
spread on thin slices of bread, cover.
ing with a layer of mayonnaise.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Sliqht Mistake.

IT understand you went over to
Crimson Gulch and lynched the wrong
man." NO." replied Three-Finger
Sam. you can't lynch the wrong man
in Crimson Gulch. We jest got Piute
Pete little bit ahead of his turn"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Cold Salmon With Tartar

Cold Salmon With Tartar Sauce.
Lay slice Of salmon one inch thick
in slightly salted water. Dry. dredge
with -four, brush with egg. Fry brown,
allowing eight minutes to each side.
Serve cold with tartar sauce.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Mirad.

"And how Is Rogers getting on? He
always declared that he would leave
footprints in the sands of time.'" !"
Yes, but unfortunatel, he got stuck
in the mud"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
The Bov and the Man,

The boy who solves his problem by
getting some one else to give him
the answer Is likely when he grows
up to feel sure that he could win great
success IL he only had some other
mans chance.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Not Like the National Game.

Geraldine-"Did you ever play kiss
ing games?" Gerald-"Yes, and l re-
member them as games that didn't
have to be called on account of dark
ness"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Bad Both WAYS.

Knicker-"It is terrible the way
parents make their babies work at
night" Youngpop--"And it is ter
rible the way babies make their par
ents work at night" New York Sun.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Economy Due to Science.

ECONOMY DUG % ooIeHce.
When sugar was made from beets
it took about twenty tons Of beets
to produce one ton Of sugar; now it
requires but six tons, due to scientific
breeding of the beets.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Church Note,

1t Is not distance from church that
makes 1t hard to go. The furthest
members are apt to be the promptest.
Washington Democrat.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Facing It.

Come on, Mamie. There's no use
arguin' with her. She kin make
twice as bad faces as you kin. Life.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Diplomatic.

Mrs. Benham-"Did you discharge
the cook?" Benham-"No; I request
ID her resignation
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Adam Complained.

"They handed me the meal check
face down SO I couldn't tell what 1t
cost" he cried.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04

LOST-A black and white spot
ted hound. $500 reward if re-
turned. V. B. Stuart,
st Headwaters, Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
nood Tfnoe Ear Awav.

Nearly everybody will be sensible
when common sense becomes COM
mon.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04
Daily Thought.

Discomfort is want of self-reliance;
It is infrmity of Wtil.-Emerson.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04

Get your stationary print
ed at Recorder office. All
Wordneatly done.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-04-04

Advertising is the thing
to help your business. Wide
awake men have made a
success by following it up.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
GREATLY Desired Lady.

1t would appear from bits of the So
cial gossip OF her day that Miss Bur
dett-Coutts' nearest approach to an
occupation was refusing offers Of
marriage. 1t is stated that the name
of the prince of Adventures" was
connected with hers; that she re-
fused the duke of Wellington and a
score of lesser gentlemen.
For years the great heiress was the
most glittering matrimonial prize in
England, and when at last she con-
scented to change her condition by
marrying an American, London club
wit struck a responsive chord by OBJ
serving, u don't blame Ashmead Bart
lett for proposing to the baroness.
I've done it myself. / regard it as a
duty every Englishman owes to his
amily."-"Intimate Memoirs of Napo-
lean Ill"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
CREDIT GIVEN TO THE WIFE
Good and Sufficient Reasons Why Mar
rled Man Lives Longer Than
the Bachelor.

1t is good thing for man to have
a wife to look after his ingoings and
outcomings-to enforce regularity in
his mode of living-to see that he Is
clothed according to the requirements
of the temperature, and takes his UNI
brella when there is likelihood of
showers, and gets good meals at stated
hours.
Jacques Bertillon, the French expert
On occupational mortality, has found
that low death rates occur particularly
In occupations in which the workman
Is under more or less supervision as
regards not only health but also habits
Of life, and in which he is surrounded
by influences tending to prevent dis
sipation, and conducive to regular
hours and regular habits. Bank clerks
and flduciary employees who feel their
responsibilities are types Of this. Ber-
tillon attributes much the same infiu'
ence to marriage and family life. The
married man is supervised for his own
good, and, having added incentives to
seif-restraint and to the care of his
health, he has a lower mortality than
the bachelor.-Journal of the Ameri
can Medical Association.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

avoided, for at best their effect lie only
for that day, while a genuine remedy
like Syrup Pepsin acts mildly but per
manently.
1t can be conveniently obtained al
any drug store at fifty cents or one
dollar a bottle. Results are always
guaranteed or money will be refunded.
You will find It gentle In action, pleas
ant in taste, and free from gripping.
and its tonic properties have a distinct
value to women. 1t is the most widely
used laxative-tonic in America today
and thousands of families are now new
er without It,
Families wishing to try free sam
pie bottle can obtain 1t postpaid by
addressing DR.. w. b. Caldwell, 203
Washington st., Monticello. Ill. A
postal card with your name and adj
dress on II will do
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Then He Escaped.

IT'S curious" said Brown. how
coming events cast their shadows be-
fore them. Ill wager a flyer none
of you gentlemen can guess what was
the last thing played on the organ at
the time of the fire."
1.-The Lost Chord" suggested
Smith.
Brown shook his head.
"'Dies Irae,'" said the classical
gentleman.
Brown shook his head again.
What was 1t, them" asked the
practical member.
Brown got up. reached for his hat,
and went to the door. Then he re-
piled:
The hosei"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
ERUPTION SPREAD ON FACE

$40 East Elm ST., Streator, ll.-"A
running sore broke out above my
right eye, which spread over my en-
tire face. 1t started as a small PIN
pie. I scratched it open and the con-
tents OF this small pimple ran down
my face. Wherever this ran a new
sore appeared. They itched and
burned terribly; / couldn't touch my
face 1t burned so. It disfgured my
face terribly and / couldn't be seen
for everyone was afraid Of 1t. 1t
looked like a disease Of some kind; 1t
was all red and a heavy white crust
on 1t. Everybody kept out of my way
afraid 1t would spread. ] Lost rest at
night and I couldn't bear to have any
thing touch my face, not even the pill
low. I had to lie on the back of the
head. was always glad when morn
ing came so I could get up. 1t was
extremely painful.
AT last thought of Cuticura Soar
and Ointment and I commenced using
them. II took three weeks to com
plete the cure" (Signed) Miss Caro-
line Miller, Apr. 80. 1918.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment solo
throughout the world. Sample Of escf
free with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston."-Ady
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
What is TVOnldnS
Beauty but Health?
And fhe Basis OF Her Health and
Yigor Lies In fte Careful Reg
uLofion of fiie BofceLs.

II womans beauty depended upon
cosmetics, every woman would be a
picture of loveliness. But beauty lies
deeper than that. II lies In health. In
the majority Of cases the basis OF
health, and the cause of sickness, can
be traced to the action of the bowels.
The headaches, the lassitude, the
sallow skin and the lusterless eyes are
usually due to constipation. SO many
things that women do habitually con-
duce to this trouble. They do not eat
carefully, they eat indigestible foods
because the foods are served daintily
and they do not exercise enough. But
whatever the particular cause may be
Il is important that the condition
should be corrected.
An ideal remedy for women, and one
especially suited to their delicate re-
quirements, Ia DR.. Caldwell's Syrup
Pepsin, which thousands of women en-
dorse highly. among them Mrs. G. s.
Vance, of oil S. Ray St., New Castle,
Pa. At times she had spells OF indi'
gestion 80 severe that she thought she
would die. Syrup Pepsin regulated her
stomach and bowels, and she attrib-
utes her excellent health today to this
remedy.
All the family can use DR.. Caldwell's
Syrup Pepsin, for thousands Of moth
ers give it to babies and children. II
is also admirably suited to the require
ments of elderly people, In fact to al
who by reason OF age or infirmity can
not stand harsh salts, cathartics. pills
or purgatives. These should always be
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
SATISFIED WITH HIS BARGAIN
Dramatic Press Agent Had Confidence
In Barber for Somewhat
Peculiar Reason.

Frank p. Morse, dramatic press
agent, met Ralph A. Graves, the dra-
matte critic, in New York one morn
ing. They went down to a barber
shop.
Graves heard Morse talking to the
barber, whose voice indicated that he
was at least eight feet tall and in the
best Of health.
"Now," said the barber, your hairs
falling out. What you want to do is to
have it shingled and singed and then
treated with crude oil, ending up with
an electric massage and few other
iolts."
Morse, who has a suit of hair like a
cluster of copper wire, inquired as to
the cost.
zone dollar and ninety cents" re
piled the barber.
Proceed" said Morse, settling
back.
When Graves got out of the chat
and took a look at Morse's barber h
rushed over to the victims chair.
why, Frank" he expostulated
that man who's treating your hair IL
as bald as an egg and you're throwing
away dollar and ninety cents"
as he bald" asked Morse dreamily
Not a hair on his head" replied
Graves.
WELL" explained the victim, gently
that's why he knows how not to make
my hair fall out."-Popular Magazine
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

Second St., w. s., Streator, Illinois.
Philadelphia, Pa. "It was at the
'Change Of Life that I turned to Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
using it as tonic TO build up my sys-
TEN, with beneficial results. Mrs.
SARA HAYWARD, 1926 w. Venango St,
(Tiogs) Phila., Pa.
San Francisco, Cal.-"I have taken
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound for many years whenever I
would feel bad. I have gone through
the Change of Life without any troubles
and thank the Compound for It Tree
ommend it to young girls and to women
of all ages."-Mrs. C. BARRIE, 3052
18th St., San Francisco, Cal.
The success Of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, is unparalleled.
II you want special advice write to
Lydia Z. Pinkham Medicine Co. conf.
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by .
woman and held in strict confidence.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

An old man who had led sinful life
was dying, and his wife sent for a
nearby preacher to pray with him.
The preacher spent some time pray
ing and talking, and finally the old
man said: What do you want me to
do. parson?"
"Renounce the devil! Renounce the
DEVIL" replied the preacher.
We'll, but, parson," protested the
dying man, 81 amt in position to make
any enemies"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Too Successful.

Quizzer-What's the matter, old
man? You look worried.
Sizzer-I have cause to. hired a
man to trace my pedigree.
Quizzer-Well, what's the trouble?
Hasn't he been successful?
Sizzer-Successful! / should say
he hasl I'm paying him hush money!
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Didn't Impress Farmer.

An alteration arose between a
farmer and a so-called expert in agri-
culture.
Sir" said the expert, do you real
ize that l have been at two univer-
stiles, one in this country and one in
Germany"
What OF that?" demanded the
farmer, with faint smile. 81 had a
calf nursed by two cows, and the
more he was nursed the greater calf
he grew"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Cautious Porter,

so you gave up your job at the
depot?"
Eyes, sub. l ain liftin' no mo- suit
cases. When dem militant suffra-
gettes is so busy dar ain no tellin'
which of 'em Is kerryin' wardrobe an
which is kerryin' dynamite"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
His SpeciaItv.

What does your member Of con.
gress think of these questions?"
He don't pay no 'tention to Ques.
tions," replied Farmer Corntossel
Hes the man that knows what all the
answers are. without botherin' bout
the questions"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
THREE WOMEN
TESTIFY
To the Merit of Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Com
pound during Change
of Life.
Streator, Ill.-"I shall always praise
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com

pound wherever i
go. 1t has done me
80 much good at
Change Of Life, and
it has alsohelpedmy
daughter. 1t is one
Of the grandest
medicines for wo-
men that can b o
bought. / shall try
to induce others to
try it. Mrs. J. H.
CAMPBELL, 206 N.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
The Execution,

you don't believe in hot air prom.
ises, do your"
mot unless they are the landlords
about the furnace"
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Cheek.

Your salary isn't enough to sup
port my daughter"
I'm glad you've come to that con-
clusion so early, sir."-Boston Tran
script.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Cruel Fate.

Visitor to Jail-And how did you
get here?
Confidence Man-They gave me five
years just for attending to my bust
ness.-Puck.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Seer

He stopped before a blind peddler
and bought a pencil, putting FIVE
pennies into the mans hand.
How do you know these are cents
I've given your" asked the purchaser.
We'll, sir, l can distinguish the
touch OF cents by my sense of touch, "
was the blind mans prompt reply.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Have to Make More Waits.

Il see by the papers," said Perkins,
that fellow swan to Boston in eight
hours"
AHA" said Gherkins, II wonder how
long it would take him to swim there
loaded!
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27
Quite Easy,

1T must be hard to be poor" OBJ
served the millionaire.
"On the contrary, 1t is the easiest
thing in the world" replied the
pauper.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

Great opportunities seldom employ
an advance agent.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

Girls should remember that the abil-
ity to toast marshmallows does not
make q good cook of any one.
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

The man who marries for money
often awakens to find that he is not
boss of the domestic domain
Mexico Missouri message., 1913-11-27

Even with abundance of free raw
material some men are unable t.
make good.