Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-02-04
At the End Of the Rainbow.
ON PRACTICAL JOKES.
BY Walt Mason.
BY Walt Mason.

tom Averages head was punched
again this morning. announced the horse
doctor. He played little joke on
Spiker. the blacksmith. and Spiker didn't
seem to appreciate it. He smote Tom
with great potency and made his nose
look like a pincushiOn.
1T served him right said the village
patriarch. That young man will wake
up in a hospital with most of his limbs
dislocated some fine morning If he doesn't
soon realize that his variety of humor
is entirely de trop. There's no man more
exasperating than the practical joker. and
he should be suppressed by law. When
he becomes confirmed in the habit he is
an Ishmael. with every mans hand
against him. and still he pursues his
idiotic course until death gives him a
merciful relief. And death usually comes
soon. The man who plays fool jokes on
his fellow-citizens can't expect to reach
a green old, age for somebody is pretty
sure to hammer him into the ground with
a club before he reaches the sere and
yellow leaf.
Practical joking is the primitive form
of humor. 1 have no doubt that the
cave man scattered tacks SO they would
puncture the tires Of passing automobiles,
and urged his bosom friend to blow into
the U1uZZIe Oh dill uillOducu SIotSuIi
, am quite satisfied in my own mind that
rocking the boat was favorite outdoor
sport prior to the stone age. The in
stinct for practical joking is in all of us.
and it crops out in children all over the
world, but as human beings emerge from
childhood they are supposed to forsake
childish diversions and find satisfaction
in a more subtle form of humor.
when 1. was a small boy the instinct
was very strong in me- 1 devoted much
In, inn when / should have hQQn
wrestling with the multiplication table,
studying up jokes which would bring dis
comfiture to somebody. MY father had
a staid, respectable old horse. as steady
as an eight-day clock. and he used to
ride that horse to town every now and
then One day he saddled old Dobbin
and then went into the house Tor some
thing, and l took advantage or the OPP
the saddle. My father, who was a grave
and reverend man, came from the house
and then vaulted into the saddle. mo-
ment later he was soaring around among
the treetops, and when he finally landed
he seemed greatly distressed. Old Dob
bin was bucking and kicking all over the
ward and when he cooled down father
went to him and investigated. and 1t took
him less than minute to discover what
had caused the cataclysm.
Father didn't say much, but he led
me into the barn and selected a good
heavy strap from among the work har-
ness and then he adjusted me on his
knee and gave me whaling that made
a record in that community. When /
was SO far recovered that l could move
without grooming. A week or SO later. I
had lost all desire for practical jokes
and have never experienced a longing in
that direction since.
IF parents would always do their duty.
as my father did. practical joking would
soon die out. Tom Average would be
fine young man, generally respected and
admired had his parents worn out a
sufficient quantity OF old harness on him.
But they thought his tricks were anus
ing and encouraged him instead Of rebuk-
ing him with such weapons as were at
hand.
II remember how Tom nearly proved
the ruin of old Clinkerbeard when Tom
was a boy. Clinkerbeard had a favor
ite seat under the wooden awning of
the corner grocery. He had a big rustic
chair there and he'd tilt it back and doze
by the hour Young Tom got big can
non firecracker somewhere and put it
under the old mans chair and lit it. The
explosion Jared the whole town. Gin
kerbeard went up in the air so far that
his head punched hole through the roof
OF the awning. He's never been the same
man since. 1t got on his nerves. Every