Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1913-03-28
WOES or BRIDE ELECT
BY BENNETT JOHNeON.

I l.
thing SO gorgeous In all my If Your
hat is a dream, and that veil is an
other. You are marvell What for
especially"
The other young woman smiled COM
placently DO strike you that way"
she inquired in gratified tones Then
! must be all right, for that is pre-
cisely the effect | intended to pro
( duce. If it had been a shade less
should have considered my toilet
| failurel ! wanted to make it impos-
sible for any one to think of me as
anything but the most fashionable
thing on EARTH"
Well, you've done it," declared the
girl In the new fall suit Why"
You know, explained the gor-
geously appareled one. that HaTry's
family had never met me before we
were engaged. They lived miles away
across town After we were engaged
Harry said they were all coming to
call on me Naturally T was anxious
to make a good impression"
We'll. that was easy" said her
friend. 1T never is what one would
call hard work to look at you"
Wait" said the fashionable one
in hollow tones. For two weeks
went around from breakfast time till
the lights were out at night, so dressed
up that nobody dreamed of asking me
to dust the living room, as usual, or do
anything but ornament the place.
Then a bushel of tomatoes came the
day mother had to go to luncheon. Go
on ! told her, heroically. ! viii
make the chilli sauce and the catch
upl'
We never leave such things to the
cook In fact, to get rid of the cook
| told her to take the afternoon OF, so
that would have clear field in the
kitchen ! suppose there are won
derful individuals who can work up
bushel Of tomatoes while attired in a
neat blue serge with white collar and
cuffs, like the angelic persons We see
in the pictures. and emerge unrutiled
But when I tackle anything like
tomatoes l get into it up to my elbows
and tomatoes spattered in my hair
and over my face and my apron was
a signt
Everything on the stove started
boiling al once and 7 WAS hot and lus-
trated when the bell rang.
let 1t ring, said I to myself. 1t
rang again. You know there is some
~ oil
about a doorbell that you aren't an
swering. 1t seems so accusing and re-
proachful Just as said for the fourth
time Let it ring | dropped preserv-
ing spoon splash into the catchup and
rushed madly to the door.
'T had remembered that the dress
maker was to send home my dress
that afternoon for the eaBce that
night. wrenched open the front
door to catch the figure descending
the steps.
"Oh. yes, it was Harry's mother,
dear. 1t couldn't have been any one
else on earth, you know. There she
stood gazing at her daughter-in-law-
elect, who resembled at that moment
a cross between an inebriated cook
and a squashed tomato. Harry's moth
er is one of those neat, perfect WON
en-. to whom a hair out OF place is
perfectly unexplainaksf phenomenon.
| know she burst IL tears at her
sons fate the instant she withdrew
from my presence. And the tomato
catchup all burned up while | was sit
ting in the best parlor chair smear
ing II with tomatoes and acting as
though / was quite happy
THE men came to clean out the
furnace the other day, and mother and
took the same time to clean the
storeroom You know what a store
room does to you-it puts cobwebs in
your hair and grimes you with dust,
and you get SCOT on your nose and
wear the gown that is worse than
your worst one. When the bell rang |
this time-it being the maids day out /
mother said. Oh. bother That /
must be Mrs Phipps for the sewing (
society stuff Do run up and hand .
her the bundle left in the front
half
II ran, incidentally tumbling over
the furnace mans litter and putting
my hands into a basket of SCOT and
ashes, which ! busted off on my apron
as I went. Yes, il was Harry's mar
ried sister. who takes two hours every
day to dress and hyphenates her
name
Il will say nothing of the day Harry
introduced me to cousin OF his whom
we met by chance, when It had been
raining and | had no umbrella. You
know what my hair looks like when
it gets damp-ezaetly like straggiy
shoe lsces.
Nor win l mention the time I met
younger sister. II was IN =
beauty parlor. where l hac my hair
pulled back from my countenance and
cold cream all over my face. Are you
able to imagine me smiling in self
way and saying. 80 glad to
meet you. at last"
we'll am now waiting for the
taxi which is to bear me In ali my
present splendor to make round OF
=