davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
a Cure

do you believe appendicitis can be
cured without an operation?"
MY case was"
How'd you do it?"
"A friend who had suffered told me
what his operation cost him, and as
soon as he had finished all my symp-
toms had departed
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
PROMISING.

"BIiggins was always talking about
what he would do if he were in a po-
sition of governmental authority"
Well, he has a position now"
Yes, and he is already busy as ever
talking about what he will do If he
can get reelected"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
4 Dividend

That promoter did the liberal
thing, l must say"
What did he do?"
Instead of skipping out with the
coin. he failed for ten cents on the
dollar. First time l ever got any
money back.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Clever Jack,

Madge-What, You've made up
with Jack? Why. thought you de-
manded that everything you'd given
each other must be returned?
Ethel-Well, so I did; but he insist
ed that we begin with the kisses. and
then. of course, the Jig was up.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
q Wise Plan.

The French have the right idea.
They protect the woman.
How
Draw up a marriage contract.
I see. Fix the alimony while the
groom is still in love-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Keeping Before the Public

Il suppose it keeps you very busy
supervising the work of your publica-
ton and composing its leading arti-
cles?"
u don't have time for anything
like that" answered the statesman
who had founded a magazine. I'm
helping the advertising department,
and it takes all my time delivering
lectures and running for Office
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
CONS TiPATE0N

munyon 5 Paw-Psw
Pills are unlike all 9th
er laXstives or cathar-
tics. They coax the
liver into activity by
gentle methods, thew
do not scour: they do
not grippe; they do not
weaken; but they dc
start all the secretions
of the liver and stom-
ach in a way that soon
puts these organs IN a
healthy condition and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Up and Down,

That would be great at home when
the baby is peevish,' remarked Mr.
Younghusband, as he watched the
ships heaving deck.
What's that?''
That deck; regular seif-walking
ioor.''
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

ccrreCts constipation. Munyon taw-Paw
Pills are tonic to the stomach. liver and
nerves. They invigorate instead of weaken:
they enrich the blood instead of impover-
ishing il; they enable the stomach to get all
the nourishment from food that is put into
it. Price IS cents All Druggists.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Never Her

Why did you ask her age?'
Because I wanted to know how old
she is"
Then ask her husband"
She has none"
Then ask her little brother"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
In the Court.

This woman they have just ar
raigned has very poor and pirched
appearance"
of course, she's got a pinched az
pearance The COP Zinched her
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Can Be Added To.

Now, have you given me all the
facts exactly as they occurred?"
"Oi have, sorr, the plain truth, an
ye' will be able to put in all the rest
yerself. London latter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
An JncornaTax Scheme

a moderately wealthy man of New
ark bows TO the income tax as grace
fully as possible under the circum-
stances. He says: 7 believe in an
income tax as the fairest and best
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
His Guess,

Say, Bill, wot's pedigree?"
Same as hydrophoby. l guess
"Hydrophoby, nothin'. You're way
off"
We'll, it's somein dogs have, any
way"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Money Savino Secret.

We'll, after a lot of experience in
specializing l have at last learned how
to keep on the right side of the stock
market"
Would you mind posting me, old
chap"
Not at all. The right side of the
stock market, my dear fellow, is the
outside"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
No Need to Think.

What are you thinking about dar-
ling?"
Nothing"
so was I. It's wonderful the sym
pathy between two loving hearts
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
MiSunde rStoOG,

Mamma, I thought the elephant
liked buns?"
so he does, dear"
"He turned up his nose at this one
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Better Job.

Poet-My fancy paints my dear
loves face TO me.
Friend-Tn bet your fancy isn't
half as good on the job fas your dear
loves maid
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
SOAKING the Vanquished.

What's the Greek bootblack rails
ing such a fuss about?'
He claims that the Turk who runs
the fruit stand should give him a
dozen bananas and sack of peanuts
as a war indemnity"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Pnnr ioh

The Candidate (passionately)-
From the day l was twelve I earned
my own living! I owe no man a penny.
Gentlemen! Imade myself
The Voice-WeIl, you made a mis-
take.-P. l. P.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

Eggs are getting so expensive that
fried eggs will be used next for trim
ming women's hats"
why not? / should think the effect
would be chic. Washington Herald.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Acquitted.

Waiter-Have you tried our turtle
soup, sir?
Diner-Yes, I have tried it, and my
decision is that the turtle proved an
alibi
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

WHEN RUBBERS BECOME NECESSARY
And your shoes pinch, Aliens Foot-Ease, the
Autisepuc powder 10 be shaken into tho
shoes, is Just the thing to use. Try ii for
Breaking in New Shoes. Sold Everywhere
sc. sample FPEE. Address, \. s. Olmsted,
.LeI<oy, Ny. Don't accept any substitute. Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

DO you like my execution on the
piano." Il must say l would have
to describe it as an execution for kill
ing time"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Expert.

gowns"
How is that?"
You see, my husband belongs to
the fire department"
"Well?"
And he can hook me up in As sec
onds Louisville Courier-Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

Or. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure ,oonsti-
patton. Constipation is the cause of many
diseases Cure the cause and you cure the
disease. Easy to take. Adv
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Stock Themes

We talk of heat in summer gay,
In winter talk OF cold;
And thus one-haIf that people say
Is very briefly told
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

Usual Accompaniment.
This fresh air movement is merely
tentative Well, of course. tents
will have TO 60 with il"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

Truth may be stranger than fle-
ton, but the latter commands a high
er price in the magazine field.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
The AItruist.

Let others keep on tapping tills,
He doth not care to
Alleviate the host of ills
That flesh is heir to.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
OBLIGATION Both WaYs

Some of those pictures are genuine
old masters said MIR. Cumrox.
'Of course, you are very proud to
have them
Yes, and I have no doubt the old
masters would have considerable re-
spect for me if they knew what l paid
for them
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

1t makes a man feel good when he
5 pretty certain he is going to miss a
train and doesn't.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Only one "BRoMo QrrNrNES

That is LAXATIVE BROM0 QUININE.- Look
for The signature Of r. W. GROVE Cures q Cold
IN One Day, Ga=es Grip in Two bays. sc.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
a Gourmet.

I'm afraid Dubkins lacks the true
aesthetic temperament.
why SOP"
The only conception he has of an
Italian garden is a place where people
eat spaghetti and drink Chianti."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
Sounding New Members.

members Oh II6 new lower mousse
| of congress are coming into Wash
ington in numbers day by day.
The Democratic and Republican lead
ers are sounding out the senti-
ments of the incoming members OF
their parties, primarily in most del
icate way, to find out definitely just
what their ''factional affiliations" are.
The Democratic leaders want to know
whether the incomers are extremely
conservative, just plain conservative,
| progressive, or radically progressive,
and the Republican leaders are trying
to find out just about the same things.
The leaders of the house Democ-
racy is a man of marked conservative
| tendencies. He says so and his acts
/ prove him so. It must not be under
| stood. however, that he is not progress
| siYely inclined along lines which he
! considers safely progressive. His OPP
/ ponents in his own party say that he
/ considers few things safely progress
! sive and that therefore he is definitely
! conservative. The great majority of
| the Democrats in the next house viii
| be men who call themselves progress
sives and who are known at home Is
such. This majority will have g
| marked influence on legislation and or
the upholding Of President Wilson's
| policies, which everybody here be-
lieves will be advanced. It is not
| thought in Washington that even the:
conservative leaders of Democracy in
2 ha will ut +O
i passage of legislation that Mr. Wilson
may recommend, even if it appears te
them to be. over radical"
Aside from the tariff, which wiz
take up a large part of the time o.
the extra session, and aside also from
currency legislation, which may or
may not be given consideration, there
will be thousands of bills dropped into
the hopper" of house and senate be-
fore ten days of the extra session
have gone by. These bills will make
provision for a multitude of things
which attempts have been made to
provide for before, but which have
failed for one reason or another
Few new members of congress reach
the capital without full belief in their
| breasts that they are ordained to be
the makers of legislation which the
statesmen call constructive" About
one member in a thousand perhaps
leaves a lasting name in legislation,
and so it will be seen readily enough
how many Of the newcomers will be
disillusioned, and doomed to know
their disappointment before many
weeks of the new session have
passed. Bill preparing is a regular
industry among congressman. The
measures are drawn. put into the
house basket, read by titles, printed
and referred to committees, but the
overwhelming majority of them never
comes out of the committee room With
any kind of report.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

No man is s. dishonest but what
he considers his hsXt door neighbor
more so.-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13
New Grand Central Terminal
A wonderful city, within a city, built for the
comfort and convenience of the travelling public.

The main Grand Central Ter
minal Building in New York is
now open to the public. This
vast improvement is more than
great railway Terminate is a
Terminal City, complete in itself,
providing every detail essential
to comfort and convenience.
1t will embrace convention,
amusement and exhibition halls,
hotels, clubs and restaurants; post
Office, express Offices, modern
apartment and office buildings,
and numerous stores and spe-
cialty shops.
Grand Central 7 criminal is the
Heart of New York. At Forty
second St. and Park Ave. { Fourth
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

why does a woman always add
postscript to a letter."
Because she likes to have the last
word"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-03-13

will be listened to and monetary legis-
regular session, which begins the first
Monday in next December. There are
reasons for the desire Of a good many
Of the Democrats TO do nothing with
the currency until six or eight months
additional time has been given the
financial experts to study plan which
they think will meet with the approval
Of the county.
AS for the tariff. the Democratic
majority says that it is not going to
tinker with it, for the term implies
simply patching and repatching. The
Democrats apparently think that they
have already outlined tariff program
which viii prove to be constructive
and which viii stand the test Of time
and business. What the dominant
party fears more than anything else,
and its members are free to say so
privately. that some Of the provisions
Of the new tariff law, when they go
into effect. materially will hurt labor.
A good many OF the Democrats do not
express the fear in just this way.
Some of them actually believe that if
the excuse of an experimental low
duty is offered that some great con
Germs may discharge parts Of their
working forces, lay it to the tariff, and
trust to the discomfort which is
aroused to reopen the whole tariff agi-
tation and possibly to bring back high
tariff conditions once more.
House Majority for Reductions.
The Democratic house leaders in
the congress just ended and who I'M
questionably will be the leaders in
the next house do not seem to be in
IN least disturbed about the ability
of the. Democratic party to put
through the lower chamber quickly
and in order" just such tariff meas
ures as the ways and means commit
tee shall outline.
Take the house all in all and a
vast majority of it's members as the
body is at present constituted is in
favor of tariff reductions. There are
among the representatives, as among
the senators, some Democrats Of high
tariff tendencies, but the majority OF
the members of that party in both
houses, and great majority in the
lower house, are in favor of reduc.
tions, and with them stand Republic
ans of the house and senate of the
Cummins and LaFollette school, and
also the members of the Progressive
party, Of whom in the new house there
are 10 and in the senate three or four.
It can be seen from this that the
house will have little difficulty in put
ting through such tariff measures as
the Democratic ways and means com
mittee shall prepare, and it is believ-
ed that the measures will call for
radical reductions in some cases and
have what may be called conservative
Iy radical reductions in other cases.
The senate, however, as it will be con
stituted, will not stand for the deep
cuts which the house intends to make,
and so the chances are there will be
a COMPROMISE
The Washington times., 1913-10-26

ture of the present kann store, at
tencesEight and Market place. is not
discussed by the management. In the
event of the Government clearing prop
erty on the south side of Pennsylvania
avenue. il is said the firm would find
its present location unsuitable on the
borderland of property unoccupied by
private owners.
Speculation as to the ownership of the
F street property began when a we'll
known local real estate firm began to
buy in property adjoining lots in Thir-
teenth and F streets, which were re-
corded as being owned by a corpora
ton knows as the Washington New
Theater Company. All permits and
deeds to the corporation were made out
in this name. and led to an assumption
that the property was to be occupied by
a theater. Polls, Chase's. and other
theaters had. in the imaginations of
many. already been built on the site.
Appleton P. Clark. jr., architect of
this city, has charge of plans for the
structure, and these are in course of
preparation now.
1t is believed that a Baltimore con-
Germ is connected with the ownership
of the property. The publication which
announced Kann as Co-owner of the
property a week ago, included the name
of Strauss Brothers, of Baltimore. Will
lis & Willis. Baltimore attorneys, are
interested in the negotiations on the
property, but will give out nothing.
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
KANNS INTERESTED
IN MYSTERY CORNER
Big Department Store Firm to
Have Share in Great F
;. Street Building.

S Kann. Sons & Co. are connected
with the ownership of the mysterious
operations which have been in contem-
olation and progress for the last two
years or more on the corner of Thir-
teenth and F streets northwest. where a
ffteen-foot excavation in the ground is
now the only evidence of one of the
biggest and most mysterious building
schemes which has been under way in
the District
1t is said that the property will cover
frontage of ninety-seven feet on F
street and 200 feet on Thirteenth street.
The building will possibly be eleven
stories in height, TO meet the height
limit on F street in that vicinity.
Thirteen small stores will. it is re-
ported, occupy the ground floor of the
structure. These will be leased to mer-
chants or tradesmen until further plans
for a change in the Kann establishment
might make it necessary for the firm
to vacate its present quarters. The fu-
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
Cut Prices on
Cigars and Tobacco
imported Cigars

Romeo and Juliet (perfecto),
1Sc. Box of 25, $3.50.
Manuel Garcie (perfecto). 1Sc.
Fox Of %. :i.39.
La Carolina tperfecto>, 1sc. Box
of o.. si.39. - .---.
>. co.9ss e e (perfeet01' lse- Box of
Henry Clay oDerfectol, 1sc. Box
of 25. $3.50
Book .(perfecto). 1sc Box of IS.
S4.39.
Romeo and Juliet (puritanc), lie.
Box of so, SIS so.
Beck (puritano). lie. Box of
so. $3.50.
Corona (puritano), lie. Box of
so. $3.50.
Manuel Garcia (puritano). lie.
La Carolina (puritano), lie.
Box of So s5.5a.
Henry Clay (puritano), lie. Box
of 80. $3.50.
La Candillo.. &c. Box of so. s2.50.
La Flor Manuel. in two shapes,
&c; fer CSC. Box of 80, $500.
La Garcita tperfectoJ, &C. Box
OF 25. S1.3s. Box of so. s2.75-
Totem. &C. Box of so, $500.
Pippin. Sc. Box of so. $500
Rossini, a dandy 10c cigar cut to
&c: for CSC. Fox OF so, $500.
Norman Martinez fresh sup
ply-5c. Box of 50. S2.25.
Blackstone Juniors. SC cigar. Our
price. for Ice Box of 100. $3.50.
Lovera ia Rosa perfecto). Box
of 25. So 90.
Lovera Limperiales>. for s5c.
Pox OF 100 $50.
Lovera (diplomatico), 10c. Box
of SO. $3.50.
Lovera Uondres), &c. Box of 100.
$500.
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
Form National University Club.

Students and graduates of the Ma
tional University of Law held a mass
meeting in the main hall of the uni
versity last night to form a society
known as the National University Club,
to be composed of students and grad
yates of the National University of
Law Temporary officers to form an
organization committee were chosen as
follows: Charles r. Burgess, president;
T. A. Underwood, vice president; E.
w. Pierce. secretary; E. S. Brashears.
treasurer.
The Washington times., 1913-10-26

Shinbone Patches Spine.

NEW HAVEN. Conn. Oct. 26.-Ralph
NJ. Armstrong, a prominent clubman.
is recovering at a local hospital from
an unusual operation. that of grating
a piece of his shnbone into his spine.
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
Cigars Specials

Wizard. A fine SC cigar; fresh
and moist; 3 for 10c. Box of 25
for T5c-
Rob Roy. A new one. Il in q
tin box Special price, 35c.
University Club. Sure to please.
While they last, 3 for 10c; s for
CSC. Box of 50. $3.50
Factory Smokers. A fresh sup
Fly: for SC. Box of 50. 800.
Queen of Hearts. Another dandy.
&c smoke o. ) for 10c; s for CSC.
Box of 50. sl.5O.
Big Six StoSie. ; for Sc; 9 for
13c: so for $500.
Pipe Cleaners. packages for SC.
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
High Grade Drugs Reduced

Grain Alcohol plat ..............-ioc
Spirits Turpentine, pint..--......loc
Parowax. refined paraffin. lb.- &c
Squibb's Carbolic Acid. in lib.
bottles -...-.-.-----.---.--.-
Ess. Pepsin, 4-oZ. bottle........-l -lsc
Liquid Soda Mint, pint bettie.-15c
Dobclrs solution, pint bottle...l3c
Pure Glycerine, lb................25c
Compound Iicorice Powder. lb..29c
Pure Castor Oil. 4-oz. bottle &c
Double Distilled Extract Witch
Hazel, full pint bottle...-....1
Powdered Rorax, lb............... &c
Powdered Boracic Acid. 10. box. 20c
Sugar Milk, the best, ID. boN...21c
Phosphate Soda, the best, Id.
can --.----...-....... ..--'... ioS
Chalk and Orris Dentifrice,
oZs. -..-..-.....::'.--- sc
Pure Petroleum Jelly. lib. can. l5c
Prepared Chalk. ID. boN.......... DC
ErsCm Salts, ID. bON.............. &c
Powdered Alum, ID ..............10c
Bicarbonate Soda. lb............. SC
sal Ammoniac. lb.................lOc
Cocoa Butter. best quality. half
The Washington times., 1913-10-26
Tobacco Specials

Velvet. in glass, one pound, 75c.
Velvet, in tins, one pound, 69c.
Velvet. in tins. half pound. 35c.
Palmer's Luxury, one-pound can,
Sl.l9: worth 81. Half pound, soc.
Surburg's High-grade Smoke, one
pound. soc
Prince Albert one pound, in
glass. T5c.
Prince Albert. one pound. in tin,
sc.
Twin Oaks: regular price. 81. Our
price. Use pound.
stag smoking Tobacco. ! boxes
for 25C.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-07-19
SAILOR 'SDAMAGE
TO SOCIALIST
PROPERTY $1,000.
sLUEJAcKETs FROM CRUISER
FLEET AND clviLiANs. PLAY
HAVOC ON PACIFIC
COAST. y3.s
/ ". W. SUFFER HEAVY loss
POLICEMAN SMILED AT WRECK.
AGE AND WAS KNOCKED
DOWN BY !. W. w.
MEMBER. n.
(BY ASSOCIATED PRESS,


SEATTLE. Wash. July ls.-Lezd-
ers OF the Industrlalg Workers OF the
World and OF the Socialist party cast
up to-day the damage done last night
when sailors from the Pacific Reserve
fleet and civilians wrecked offices
and meeting places OF the Industrial
Workers Of the World and the Social.
ist party. ~
Socialist leaders estimated that
they suffered $500 loss In books and
furniture. Industrial wrkers estimat-
ed their loss at $1,000. The damage
to the Peniel Mission broken into by
mistake was not rated. The sailors
were in very ugly mood and although
several men were slightly hurt In this
fight only one man required hospital
treatment. The only man arrested
was Walter Thurben. an Industrial
Worker who knocked down fire de-
partment captain when the latter dis.
played amusement while viewing the
wreckage in front OF the Socialist hall.
None OF the sailors was molested by
the police but the provost guard went
ashore from the West Virginia round
ed up all the men after several hours
Confined on Page nightI