davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
WHAT WALTERS REALLY DO

From the Popular Magazine.
Stuart C. Leake, the railroad man,
dropped into a cafe in Philadelphia one
day for lunch, and signified by voice and
gestures that he was in a terrific hurry
to be served. A waiter named Reno,
W hom Leake knew, paid absolutely no at
tention to the guest, but consumed at
least five minutes dancing in a demented
manner around stock ticker in the COR
ner.
"Why on earth didn't you come here to
this table when 1 called your" asked
Leake
II was detained by little private busi-
ness said the waiter mysteriously.
But 1 insist on knowing" Leake came
back at him. II don't see how waiter
can hold his job and behave the way you
do If you don't step sharp now, you'll
get no tip"
This semed to bring the waiter to his
Fsenses.
"Well. Mr.. Leake," he said, with great
humility. 'I was celebrating a little. l
just saw by the stock ticker that 1 had
made $1,000 on the short side of the mar
llet. What'll you have, sir?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
AE FOND KISS

BY Robert Burns.
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;
Ae farewell, alas! forever.
Deep in heart wSung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warning sighs and groans I'll wage thee.
Who shall say that fortune grieves him.
While the star Of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae Cheerful twinkle lights me;
Dark despair around benights me.
I'll ne'er blame my partial fancy,
Naething could resist my Nancy;
But to see her was to love her; Il.
Love but her, and love forever,
Had we never loved sac kindly,
Had we never loved sac bindly,
Never meteor never parted,
We had ne'er been broken hearted.
Fare the weel, thou first and fairestl
Fare the weel, thou best and dearest!
Thine be lika joy and treasure,
Peace, enjoyment, love and pleasure!
Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;
Ae farewell, alas! forever
Deep in heart wrung tears II pledge. thes,
Warrthg sighs and groans IN wagi theel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
Street Paving

There has been a great deal of
complaint about the broken up streets
ana most of us have lost our patience
during the past few weeks, but now
mat a good deal of paving in the bust
ness district is nearing completion we
can see how beautiful our streets will
be, said a merchant
have Travelled considerably and
nave seen no finer streets anywhere
than First avenue. The creosoted
wooden blocks make an ideal road-bed
ana In time Birmingham will be known
Tor its splendid streets in the business
centre.
one serious trouble here now is the
automobile congestion or rather the
parking of automobiles. No one should
De allowed to keep an automobile
standing two or three hours in front of
a business house. Just what the solu-
tion is | am not prepared to say bur
something should be done to relieve the
situation
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

wv ASHINGTON. March 3O.-
NJ fspecial-Frank ]. Gould is
w angry with us. Frank says
that he is going over to Paris and make
a noise like a Frenchman. What peeved
Frank is the way the United States
government interferes with business.
It's plumb disgusting to Frank and he
has decided to expatriate himself and
leave it with us.
Frank has been feeling a little un-
kindly toward the United States ever
since Judge Hough fined him 1000 iron
men, on an indictment under the Sher-
man antitrust act. back in 1911. Now
the whole matter has eliminated by
Franks Indignantly kicking Uncle Sam
in the pants and renouncing him as his
parent.
Frank likes our brand of dollars and
gold bonds, but the customs and man
ners of the country make him seasick.
So he and his wife, formerly Edith
Kelly, show girl, and his three sis
ters, Misses Hetty, Mabel and Mathilde
Gould, have departed from our midst,
and threaten to remain so permanently.
This is indeed a sad blow. 1t pains
us to convey this intelligence to the
public, but 1t must be done. The coun-
try is beginning to taste the results
of democratic administration first
we lost Huntington. and now here goes
Frank. Thus do we see, one by one,
drifting away from us forever some of
our most prominent citizens, all because
the government has developed a preju-
dice against the refined and cultured
way in which they relieve the people
of any worry whatsoever about money
matters by taking what they have from
them, and because some of us have not
learned to hold our fork properly when
eating pie. Another thing that dis
gusts Mr.. Gould is, he can't stand to
listen to the average American eat his
soup. He insists that there is lot of
discord and lack of harmony
We are bound to admit that Frank
has a grievance We must remember
that Frank was born with a solid gold
souvenir spoon in his mouth, and a
pair of coupon shears in each hand. He
has breathed a different atmosphere
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

From the New York World.
More important than Oscar Hammer
STEMS plan to give opera In English
at the ne wopera house he is to build in
Lexington avenue is his manifest inten-
ton to provide opera for ''the plain peo-
ple," as indicated by the scale of prices
ranging from % cents to 50.
Considering the crowded attendance at
popular price symphony concerts, opera
of any kind at moderate rates, such as
these, ought to pack the house. and
whether in English, German or Italian
is immaterial The music is the thing,
and that the artistic merit of the perform
snces will be of high order requires no
more than any other TO elevate operate
standards in New Yorw.
NBut will opera not under society aus
pices pay? Mr.. Hammersten has seen it
fail twice, in London as well as in Thirty
fourth street. That, however, is no
augury of continued failure New Yorl's
operate constituency is now large enough
to support two opera houses. 1t Is intel
ligent enough to discriminate in its pa
tronage and contains enough people who
love opera for operas sake, and not mere
ly for its golden horseshoe accessories,
10 fill the Lexington avenue house.
Given his talent for discovering and ex-
plotting new tenors and eoloratura So
pranos, his devotion 10 artistic ideals and
his indomitable persistence, Mr. Ham,
merstein may reasonably be expected to
make u success of his third atetmpt, as
suming that no legal obstacles prevent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
Touring with an Orchestra

ohe Oh the most entertaining articles in
the last Harper's Weekly is entitled.
Touring W ith an Orchestra-the Humors
and Tribulations Incident to Taking
symphony Orchestra on the Road by
w. %. Walter" said an old music over.
Mr.. Walter recalls the early days when
Theodore Thomas and his symphonic band
used to travel over the country in the
10s and early SOS. and when the Boston
symphony orchestra began to make its
trips through the middle west about 25
years ago
This country has made a wonderful
advance in the realm 5f art, and especially
in music. All the cities of 100000 to 5OO.-
wv ana upward have first class SYM
phony orchestras-endowed or guaranteed
and a few of the lesser cities have con-
cert orchestraS that do creditable work.
But many of us can remember when even
IN the metropolitan cities only compare
lively few people could appreciate a SYM
phony programme realize the difference
between negro minstrel orchestra and
a symphony orchestra. Mr.. Walter tells
this anecdote of the late Fred Gomez
for years assistant manager of the Boston
symphony: In thriving city of central
New York the orchestra was greeted upon
its arrival by the local theatre manager
with the calm indifference assumed when
the house is rented and the money is as
sured, whether or not any tickets are
sold The advance sale was discouraging
and Gomez turned to the manager of the
theatre for comfort and suggestions
= when do you parade?" asked the
local man.
Parade queried Gomez in a puzzle
Sure. Don't yolr troupe always pa
rade before the show? You won't do no
business without it, And the impresario
was right.
Although the local theatre managers
do not regard an orchestra as black
face minstrel troupe, their attitude toward
it is still fun of suspicion, tinged with
contempt
And here is another story which Mr.
Walter raltes: The darkness of the mus
ical middle ages of America has not yet
entirely disappeared Within the last few
years New England city not more than
125 miles from Boston made application
for the services of the Boston Symphony
orchestra to give concert to be followed
by ball, the local committee hoping that
the leader had a good collection of
dance music. Yet the manager of SYM
phony orchestra who arranges tour of
cities and towns that nave no orchestras
of their own, on the presumption that
these communities are still in the depths
of musical ignorance, is certain to get into
difficulties.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
THE LATEST FIRE ENGINE

From the New York Times.
An interesting new type of automobile
cided upon by the municipal council. The
machine will be of specially light con-
struction, and will carry four men only,
but will be fitted with large tank con-
tanning 400 litres of water. Thus, as the
engine arrives on the scene of a fire it can
begin pumping water while the flremen
are making the necessary connection at
the nearest main with a minimum waste
of time. The new patterns is vast inn
provement on the cumbersome automo-
bile fire engines which the Paris brigade
possesses at present and which in the fu-
ture will be used only as auxiliaries in
exceptionally large fires.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
BURNErrs STRIKING APPEARANCE

From the Popular Magazine.
Representative John l.. Burnett of Ala
bama is the midget of the House of Rep
resentatves While he is large of girth
and has absolutely no neck at all, he is
surprisingly short of stature
When he first opened his law office in
his home town, he was employed to de-
fend a mountaineer charged with a petty
offense. When the case was called in
court, the judge asked the defendant IL
he had a lawyer to represent him.
''Yes. your honor. I had one. but | don t
see him here this morning. explained the
mountaineer
What was his nance" asked the Judge.
Il don't remember his name"
We'll, what did he look like?"
,IIc looked like the jack of spades
MIR. Sheriff., promptly ordered the
judge, call John Burnett
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Mrs. Jane Trinkle died in Bristol, Tenn
aged 102 years. Not long ago she gave
her rules for attaining long life. ITO live
long and enjoy life as l have" she said,
people must come back to the simpler
forms and be content with less speed
Nature is the best nurse, and natures
laws must be obeyed | have lived long
because of simple methods and because
didn't hurry with every task In life More
tomorrows are assured to those who go
about life calmly and are content to
leave off the strain. My life tenure has
been heightened because | never nursed
Worries; because / loved the fields and
brooks and found time to drink in the sun
shine and the open air. Frequent visits
TO the brook with hook and line, and obed-
fence to my parents, and my reverence for
Cody things are among the things that
have made my life long and pleasant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
ACTIVE BOSTON CENTENARIA,

IIIt DUStOH IkeCUTU.
months, Ralph Butler of Columbia road,
Dorchester, walked to city hall yesterday,
paid his water taxes, walked around the
city for few minutes and returned home,
not at all tired. He says he didn't see
why any one should wonder at that, as
he feels "as young as he ever did" Mr.
Butler is broad shou4dered and stands
straight as a young man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
SMOKE ALL YOU PLEASE

the smoke would get in their eyes and
give them lot of trouble. 1t might
not drown them, because fish live in
water instead of air-although | prob
ably do not need to tell you this. The
chances are, however, that the smoke
would irritate their eyes to such an ex-
tent that they would probably die be-
fore their time.
1 find that most persons are averse
to using their common sense in such
matters. There really ought to be no
question as to whether smoking is or
is not injurious; for everyone should
remember that hams are made palat-
able by hanging them in smoke. What
would happen to these hams il they
were not smoked? They would spoil.
and would have to be thrown away.
But the smoke preserves them. What
further argument is needed Smoke
your head Off, and stay healthy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
COUNTRY TOWN SAYINGS

T.. W. Howe in the American Magazine.
What people say behind your Back is
you live.
TT always makes furniture man :
rious for loafers to occupy chairs in front
of his store.
The man whose pants legs are much
too short, always wears his coat sleeves
much too long.
when we look at some men who say
they were sent to save the world, we
can't help laughing.
"The feeling of sleepines when ys.u are
not in bed and can't get there is the
me anest feeling in the world
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
CALLED FOR BLOOD

From the Chicago Tribune.
SANDY looks as IL he had been fight
ing"
He has been fighting; fellow said
something in his presence about 'musi-
clans and bagpipes,' and Sandy sailed
into him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
sIMPLIFrED SPELLING
M the Roston Globe.

rTOI lHe bostoH Gioue.
If we were forst to rite these para
grafs in the nu spelling it would be
serius bio. Thal would look very cd to
our trends, no dout--not to say ridicu-
lus--and we ourselvs should ru the da,
and we mite even nash our teeth. For-
up to date, the hauty bos/noly
givs&ru Carnegie the laf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Barent Wonters lends donkeys
. on hire like his father, kills pigs,
smokes hams and occupies him
self with all kinds of swinish de-
tail work; also shaves and cuts
hair, except on Sundays.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Frederick l.. Hoffman, statistician of
the Prudential Insurance company, de-
clared at Newark that cancer claims 5000
victims yearly in the United States and
100000 in the civilized world. A nation
wide campaign for education in the in
malignant tumors, would aid materially,
Mr.. Hoffman said, in the efforts to reduce
the mortality from this preventable dis
ease. Such educational efforts have been
successful in Germany and other Euro
pean countries, he asserted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
SURE TO BE CENsURED

From the Houston Post.
That Alabama sensation has reached the
stage where it is now certain that nobody
can hope to steal million dollars Of pub
lie money in that state without arousing
more OF less Indignation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
rHE GOOD OLD DAYS
ba calveston News.

From the Galveston News.
Moreover. the cost of living was a
good deal lower when a woman felt all
right to go on visit to the neighbors
with a shawl on her head and her bare
hands wrapped in her apron.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
sALUTARY LESSON

From the Houston Post
Two white men were legally hanged in
Birmingham for numbering a negro A
remarkable occurrence that but 1t is
rude shock to people who think anybody
has the right to kill negro.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Senator HolSe Smith of Georgia said be-
fore leaving Atlanta that at the extra
session, beginning April 7, Congress would
pass the tariff revision BILL including a
free sugar bill; that it would enact an in
come tax bill, and that tentative meas
nres. looking to reform of the country's s
banking and currency system would be in
troduced. OF particular interest to the
farmers of Georgia and the south was the
statement of Senator Smith that he had
no doubt the taxes would be taken off
agricultural implements, ties, bagging and
wire fencing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
increase In Population

about this time three years ago Uncle
Sam was ready to take the census of
the United States" observed local sta
tistician The work OF enumeration be-
gan in April, 1910. and when the returns
were in and the compilation made Bir-
mingham was credited with population
of 1s2,6s5.
According to last years school census
we hard grown in two years time at the
rate of 10000 a year. l believe the next
school census. which will be in 1914. will
Indicate snuch higher rate of growth. l
believe birmingham has increased in pop
ulation fully 10000 since the federal census
was taken. There are many evidences OF
our rapid growth. among them being the
increasing number of boarding houses.
And every boarding house that is opened
seems to be filled up Immediately"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
ECONOMY, FRUGALITY, INDUSTRY

f0PufdT
The original tightwad lives in Missouri.
According to those vino know him, he is
so tight that he saves the tips of his shoe
laces and sells them for old iron, and in
the last % years he has realized II cents
from their sale.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
About Persons

Fayette r. Plumb of Philadelphia, a
prominent manufacturer of tools, is the
guest of w. A. Chenoweth.
W. II. Hassinger, who has been in
the east for week or more, is ex-
pected to return Wednesday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
A VERSATILE BARBER

From the London Evening Standard
On a sign over a BARRIERS shop at
Stierum, Holland:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Theodore b. Dale, the importer and
ladies' tailor who committed suicide at his
home % West One Hundred and Twenty
rather than face trial on charge made
against him by young man, left for
tune of more than $1,000, 900 according to
an estimate which was made last night
by Attorney William w. La Point, in
whose offices at the Long Acre building
entire estate was left to his uncle, Maurice
Brodzki of London, with the exception
of bequest of $4,000 to Mount Sinai hos
pital
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Any trunk more than 45 inches long
must pay excess baggage rates. This is
the edict of the interstate commerce COM
mission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The appendix is placed in the human an
atomy to serve a definite purpose. Ask
the doctors. They know, but may not be
willing to tell.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The Illinois deadlock was broken by
Governor Dunno. In the language OF the
street. Governor Dunno dun done it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Because she had no home after she was
rescued from the flood district on the
west side of Dennison, Miss Florence p.
Shaner welded William G.. Wahenmaier
The couple had intended being married in
maier. Her mother was drowned and
their home swept away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

No member of the Wilson administration
Give it credit for that at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The cubsts have been requested to draw
Huerta in the act of establishing a gov
ernment by butchery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The men in London who are wearing
aigrettes in their hats should wear point
lace or duchesse collars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The question for today is, in which cor
ner of cellar should one stand when a
cyclone is coming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Senator Sutherland OF Utah, chairman of
the Senate committee on public buildings
and grounds in the last Congress. is net
disturbed over question raised by Con-
.gressman Mann of IIlinoi3concerning the
validity of the public buildings bill passed
In the last Congress, carrying nearly $40, :
ooo.oqo. Congressman Mann points out
that the Congressional Record shows that
when the conference report was finally
agreed to only four items were read in a
formal way and agreed to, and that as to
the rest of the conference report, or what
became of 1t, the Congressional Record is
silent Senator Sutherland believes the
Congressional Record is not conclusive as
TO what vas done. ut is only evidence
of what was done in conference" said the
senator.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Missouri is proud of her lead mines, but
she is still prouder of her hens which
are a gold mine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Both Huntington Wilson and Professor
Moore succeeded in making their resig-
nations stick.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

That great forecaster, Col George Har-
vey, should apply at once for Willis
Moores place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
wall street Point of View

Henry Clcws In his Saturday review
says in part;
"Ihe home outlook aside from the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The most of the place hunters have not
yet reached the pie counter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
j. X. Suffer has the garbage con-
tract in Omaha,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The lists of reformed spelling are
cubist pictures Of the English language.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

Easter finery will keep but the mil
linery bills will not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

The frogs will soon begin to do their
spring harbingering.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
THE PoT HUNTER

Austria refuses to nit country of her
own size.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
OPERA WITHOUT ysocIErY,

"Thls space for sale.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31

WI AsHINGToN. March 30
NJ fSpecial)-Franl J. Gould is
w angry with us. Frank says
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-11
WILL EXTEND SCOPE
OF CONSERVATION
DR.. James E. Talmage Is Notified
of Nationwide Extent Of
Movement.

DR.. James E. Talmage yesterday re-
ceived dispatch from Washington, D..
c., concerning the National Conserva-
ton congress, in which is stated the
purpose to establish an organization in
every state for the first time in the
history of the conservation movement.
The dispatch says that these state
organizations are to be under the di.
rection of the congress and are being
formed under a policy that will give
powerful impetus to the work of the
national body. Plans have been made
for nationwide activity prior to the
fifth session of the congress, which is
called to meet in Washington Novem-
Der 1S, 10 and 20.
Each state organization will consist
primarily of a state vice president and
a state secretary. DR.. Talmage is
named as state vice president for Utah,
but he has not accepted the place. O.
]. Salisbury is selected for state sec
retary.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-11
VICTIMS OF BURIED
TREASURE SWINDLE

LOS ANGELES, Cal, Oct. l0.-Ten
young men from as many states, who
have vainly waited since October for
"Capt. Cliff Sands'' to keep tryst with
them at a secluded spot on Catalina
island, disclosed today what the au-
thorities believe to be buried treas
ure swindle.
According to the victims story, each
subscribed $35 to a proposed treasure
hunting expedition in the South seas,
which lfCapt. Cliff Sands" as adven-
turer and mariner, promised to con-
duct. Magazine advertisements Of
Sands, they said, evolved visions Of
fabulous fortunes. The would-be treas
ure hunters said they sent their money
to Sands at Seattle and were instruct
ed to meet him here.
Six of the young men gave their
names and addresses as follows:
Walter Blosy, Milwaukee; Ben Dish
ing, Ohio; J. E. Robbins, Dayton, O.;
Fl. B. Barnam, Boston; J. A. Alsdorf,
St. Paul. and o. w. Davenport. Port
land. The others declined to disclose
their identity.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-11
MATINEE DANCE OF
SENIOR GIRLS is OFF

The matinee dance which the girls of
the senior class of the high school had
scheduled for next Friday afternoon was
called off by order of Principal George
A Eaton. The girls had purposed to
raise money for the senior class by giv-
Ing dance, but Mr.. Eaton told them
they must not raise class money in this
manner.
Nothing daunted. the girls are plan
ming TO raise money for their class in
other ways, The sale OF pennants and
candy at the Salt Lake. Ogden football
game Is being considered by the girls as
one way Of increasing funds In the class
treasury
An executive committee. composed Of
Chester Snow, Harriet Moyle, Theron
Par1nalee, Lockwood Ferris and Vera
Duvall, was announced by the seniors
Yesterday