Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-12-18
The Daily Story
SELECTING A WIFE-BY +. a. NITCHEL.
Copyrighted. 1913. Associated Literary Bureau.

to PROFOUND these dozen questions
but, being a modest chap. he shrlnk
from announcing to them that he would
marry the girl whose average replies
We're the most satisfactory TO him
Then it occurred TO him TO put il that
he would propose TO the winner. That
didn't sound so bad.
1t took him week 70 get up his
courage 10 send out his examination
papers. The first surprise he received
after doing SO was an enormous mum
her of letters from young ladies To-
whom he hadn't sent the questions
asking for them. This convinced him
that he had not made guy OF him
self. However. he sent out no more
papers. combining himself 70 those girls
he knew personally.
He concluded not to open any OF ths
replies until they were all in. To his
surprise. he received answers to every
examination paper sent out. When he
counted dozen misSives he locked
himself in his room and opened them
At the first he turned pale. One "
the questions. No @. concerning anna
bility, was answered. IF you came
upon me while making pies. even with
n smile on your face. I would bring
the rolling pin down on your head"
The second letter was more quicscert
The writer evidently took the suhmiS-
sion of an examination paper in good
part. She gave her ideas OF the duties
of wife. gave something humorous
copied from Mark Twain and failed
completely on the educational QucS-
items. The others she answered meek
". Five examination papers were sent
back with None of your business
written in the space for reply TO No.
g. What IS your aCeT' One girl re
piled to No. 10. Are you 4 suffragette?"
Yes. and I have no use for a husband
either; Mt any rate. not for you"
One question was answered by ev-
cry girl who was not too hot to give
Il courteous reply and at length. 1t
was No. II, DO you approve of the
present fashion IN dress for women :"
Seven young ladies wrote replies 70
this ranging from ten to twenty four
pages.
Billy was very much cut up at the
replies to question No. ,. Are you
new woman or an old one:" noticing
for the first time that he had not been
careful in his phraseology. Some OF
the replies were: What impudence."
old or young, you're not n suitable
age for me-" I'm of the new woman
kind, but am still young enough to
hope for husband without submitting
to a competitive examination"
Finally Billy struck reply that came
upon him as refreshingly as n cool
breeze after ninety nine in the shade
II
filled out every question. as follows:
First.-The first duty of a wife is TO
be loved devotedly by her husband.
Second. - can't write anything
funny.
Third.-Tm a new woman, but l
won't be after my next birthday.
FOuTth.-NO mOther-in- on my
side. How about yours?
Fifth.-Concerning my age, see No. 3.
Sixth.-It would depend on whether
I was tired and cross myself how l
would treat a tired husband.
Seventh.-Never happened 10 see
COPY OF the constitution. There's no
use knowing the correct use OF 'shall'
and will" because no one else does.
Can master who" or whom" but
ant give the rule. America rightfully
belongs TO the Indian and wrongfully
70 the white man, possession being
nine points of the law. There are H.
100 square feet in n room l. by -.
Eighth.-With a drunken cook and no
Inner my dear husband would ur-
dine and wine me at a first
lass restaurant
Ninth.-An instance Of amiablllty in
woman is my own sweet self in re-
,lying 10 these questions. Rolling pins
re for pies, stickpins for woman's de-
enSe.
Tenth-Not interested in the suffra-
,ette movement.
Eleventh. should dress to please
hubby.
Twelfth.-Don't object to the word
obey" in the marriage service in the
lightest or any other promise.
by Jove," exclaimed Billy; that's
he girl for mel Now, | come TO think
( it, I've been more than half sweet
n her for some time"
After mature deiberatlon he con
luded that n proper course for him
goulG be to give all Of the twelve girls
N opportunity 70 refuse him. He felt
afe I'm being refused by all except
Jessie Trask, OF whom he was uncer-
ain. But he was thrown on his beam
nds by being accepted by every gir
xcept Bess provided he would make
suitable apology for sending her the
papers. Rcss declined him
nconditiOnally.
But Billy. who was not so great
Dol as he may be taken for. made no
DolOgy for sending the examination
1pcrs and began a matrimonial pur-
nit Of Miss Trask. Bess joked him.
Ut wouldn't marry him. At last be
lreatened to send out another set OF
IA animation papers.
Don't. Billy" she pleaded. III
dn't love you l would be willing 20
ave you make all the women in the
orld hate you. AS 1t is, | give in"