davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Too Ostentatious,

The Tall Blonde-Absence makes
the heart grow fonder.
The Short Brunette-But the Lima,
Ohio. man who shot off fireworks
when his wife went away on a vaca-
ton made a vulgar display of his af
fection-Judge
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Not Like His Grandfather.

Doctor. I'm getting tired Of this
everlasting dunning. You ought to
have more respect for me than that.
liest settlers"
well, / wish you had inherited that
quality, and would settle early"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Ejiminative Processes.

III you'll notice this year you will
see that there doesn't seem to be as
many canoe-drowning jokes as there
fore. How do you account for it,"
Il dunno; maybe once in awhile
humorist tips over and isn't heard
from any more. same as anybodys
else"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Unanswerable.

my father kin lick your father"
said little Tommy Snagg to little Bob
by Buster
"Mebby he kin" said little Bobby
Buster, but he amt agoin' to do It,
cause my father is your fathers
boss"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
A Lost Heirloom,

There is no gout in Sir Percys fam
lily, is there?"
Not now; there was formerly. 1t
was introduced into the family by Sir
Roland Highliver, but they have been
SO miserably poor for the last 200
years that they couldn't keep it up
Puck
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20

The Critic-Sorry l missed seeing
that mob scene in your last produc-
tion.
The Actor-To which mob scene do
you allude? The one in the play, the
one In the audience, or the one on sal
ary dar?
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Had a Poor Time.

She-I suppose you are familiar With
Longfellow's poem: TO STAY at Home
10 Best"
He-Yes. and think he must have
written 1t Just after returning rom .
summer outing.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
kia Fortune.

Il should think it was a pity Noah
and his sons didn't know anything
about poker. 1t would have been
such diversion in the ark"
They couldn't have played 1t with
any success, because they never had
more than two of a kind
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
TO INDUCE PROPER sLUMBER
Careful Preparation for Repose, and
Quiet Mind, Are the Main
QuaJifica atoms.

A man should make his toilet as
carefully for going to bed as for the
business of the day.
Certain physical things are con-
ducive to sleep, such as plenty OF
sect, outdoor air, the absence Of
noises. OF lights and Of bad odors.
and above all feeling Of tiredness.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Statesman's Trials.

you must remember not to forget
the folks back home" advised the vet
eran statesman.
There is small chance of my hav-
ing a chance to forget them so long
as there are Jobs to FILL" replied the
new representative.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
His Reproof.

Mrs. Voteleigh Coming home at
1D--Are the dear children all right?
ing.
Her Husband-Huh. You go about
airing your views; better you'd stay
at home and view your heirs.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Where He Obtained Knowledge.

II don't see any sense in referring
to the wisdom Of Solomon" said the
man smartly. He had a thousand
wives"
Yes" answered the woman tartly,
The learned his wisdom from them"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
On Lean Year,

Weary William wouldn't have
many national holidays If l had my
way-only 1865. that's all.
Frayed Philip-So yer'd make us
pore fellers work one day every four
years. would yer, yer slave driver!
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
No Control.

Baseball Pitcher twalking the floor
with his younges)-If the manager
could see me now, l bet I'd get soaked
with a fine
Wife-Why SO. DEAR
Pitcher don't seem to have any
control of the bawl at all.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
The Hobo az a Teacher.

The Lady-Look here, you said II at
II Id give you your dinner you'd NOV
the lawn for me.
The Hobo-I'd like to. ma am. but I
gotter tea ch you a lesson. Never trust
tn word Of a total stranger.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Puffed Proverb.

Though thereunto by gentle suasion sped
He may the reservoir approximate.
You cannot force the equine quadruped
The aqua pura to ingurgitate.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20
Appropriate Plan.

"Id like to join an economical all
mony club
For what purpose?
"TG husband my means.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20

Peter-I say, Jimmy. what do they
mean by "fearsome" in this here game
of golf?
Jimmy Don't know. Peter. un-
less it's the way some folks play.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20

Crisp Remarks From the Bench.
The law says a man can assign his
business to his wife and live in idle
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1913-12-20

Mrs. Goodhart-Couldn't find work.
Perhaps you didn't look we'll
Dusty Rhodes-No, mum. l didn't
look well-because | was i'll.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
The WEATHER
CONDITIONS

Yesterdays low pressure area IN
creased in intensity. backing the rain
area into ul- section this morning.
Fair weather prevails. however. west
OF the Ohio valley Rain. however.
continues in sections OF Texas aud
e. lower Mississippi valley
The central West is covered by a
hich pressure and fair and cool
weather area. those conditions cN-
tending westward 10 the Pacific and
eastward 20 the Ohio valley.
\ low pressure. warm weather
area IS spreading southwark into the
Northwest
Fair weather. with moderate ten
peraturc. IS expected in this vicinity
tonight and Friday.
Local data Highest temperature
yesterday. - degrees: lowest last
might. 80 degrees. no rainfall.
Rivers
The Ohio Will change but slightly
IN the district for the next 30 hours
II. Q. Howe.
Section Director.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
STOCKS CREPT UPWARD SLOWLY ON
THE NEW YORK MARKET YESTERDAY

NEW YORK. oct. Stocks crept
upward slowly today There was no
urgent bidding. and speculation was
quiet. with long periods of stacna-
ton. But the undertone was hrm.
and offerings were small The mar
ket grew stronger a. the day advanc-
ed Canadian Pacific was marked
up 3D. AWalraWa;ed. the leader n
yesterday market. rose two points
steel Reading. Union Pacific ana
various other prominent shar.s were
raised "a point or more
Influences which have been brought
10 bear in the market recently seem
ed 20 have worked tLemselves out.
and traders marked time pending de-
Yclopments 20 give fresh impetus TO
speculation. Advance In the Bank cr
EuSland'S discount rate from a. 20
3 percent was followed bv a slight
hardoulug In money rates here and a
sharp rise In eNchane IN London
virtually no influence was cxerted on
speculative sentiment The weekly
report ~ tho bank showed "a los oil
over sl5."Vo.ouo sold on the week
which was almost Unprecedented
and reserves showed a falling Of Of
over s-v.09u.0oU Total sales 276.sUO
shares
The bond market was steady
southern Pacific collateral as roee
two points Total sales. par value
sl.2s5.oo0. Z. S As registered sold
az ,lO'. unchanged on call but a
decline OF one-half from the lasf
actual sale. ard a new low record
ne 3 registered. declined one-hals
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
BENWOOD
large Crowd Attends Dance.

Despite the fact that the weather
was very disagreeable last evening.
one OF the largest crowds that ever
attended dance in this town was
present at the hop" given by the
White Lily Social club. uniform ranks.
knights of Pythias. at the Armory
hall in Main street. Two well known
orchestras furnished continuous mu-
sic throughout the evening and many
couples continued a marathon dance
Tor over an hour. Refreshments
were served during the evening and
dancing was continued until a late
hour. Many out OF town persons
were present during the evening and
all had an enjoyable time.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
New case Of nInhthnria

A case OF diphtheria has developed
at the home OF MIR. and Mrs William
Thompson on Water street. Follow.
ing the discovery the health authori.
Ties put "a strict quarantine on the
home and ordered Mr. Thompson 10
close his motion picture house on
Main street a home where the dis.
ease had been for the past few weeks
was discharged yesterday morning
and the house fumigated There are
but two cases known over the entire
town AZ the present time.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
To Attend Davis MEETING.

Many local Democrats have made
arrancements To attend the Davis
meeting TO be held at the Columbia
club at Wheeling this evening. The
local delegation will probably attend
in body. going on the street cars
As yet no speakers of the Democratic
party have been scheduled 10 speak
IN this town during the next ten days
but II Is probable that the committee
VIII give at least one evening to this
town and speaker Of national fame
will probably be present
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03

The local First VI. r sunday school
viii hold special meeting OF the Of
Lerrs and teachers next sunday fol-
lowing th' regular SERVES. 20 name
'".o-a'"s 20 lhe Marshall county as
soc.aIOn convention. to Doe held NJ
Cameron 300 DO" near future The
Women , Home Missionary society
VIII also meet next sunday 90 select
delegates to ilc state convention 90
p. held az N0gnt-vi'lc next TUESDAY
several .aic"at4s from This church
NiI d'terI both meetings ana take
prominent part iu the program.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
WE OFFER

WE OFFER
so Mutual Lumber co.
10 German Fire Insurance.
.- uiEtI-Atits Glass.
% Imperial Glass.
Too ItB.Ilt Common.
-. rHIttf.c Preferred.
aH Market Auditorium.
go >t.ralLg line.
r. Whitaker GIsssucr Preferred.
e. Wheeling steel a. Iron.
5000 N.te'.UE Traction Sc.
1000 W.e,Iug Mold n Foundry e..
. 1900 wheeling Can Sc.
. uHU Whitaker Gls--uer as.
r ...n Portsmouth steel 60.
$4,000 I.tffslIr fs.
1U..U Itr.s GLASS Company Ga.
q. 1000 Imperial Glass 60. Notes g's
$1,000 Wheeling Traction Certitcatcs S..
WILL PURCHASE
90 S. h,sl.ue Mold a. Foundry.
fH Iir.t.sr.-' f'tukiug & Trust c.
.I Rational Bank OF West Virginia.
tH Conservative Life.
IN IYI'H. savings q Trust co.
600 Wheeling q Elm Grove 5's
FIDELITY.
INVESTMENT ASSOCIATION
Clpits1 paid in 500. ooo.cO
stocks. Bonds. Real Estate. Insurance.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
Streets In BAD Condition

The streets OF the town are again
in bad condition as a result Of H.
recent hard rains Marshall street
especially along Harmony Hin and
IN" subway are covered with "a heavy
coat Of mud .lt Is probable that the
street commissioner will have a force
OF men out az work to-day cleaning
th" streets and getting them in first
class con Iition
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03

tll Books closed sept goth for ?
ier cent cash dividend PAYABLE oct lat
t-)-Hooks close GOT. 2Oth for u ~
pri cent cash dividend payable oct
CD TrarFc@- book. close or, er
Lor yer cent cash dividend payable
tfl Fra1sfe- books closed sept o0tb
oct IFt ''N''''T
% .. Transfer books closed Sept PARA
j'I pr cent cash dividend PAYABLE
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
Pittsburgh Stocks.

WHEELING. rs. Va. oct .. "a
. = -CtiN- I'ttt-H..g-H atuC.-. curr..tse
aal y oy A t.. Naat~u & Co.. barksrs
Lhd nroAer.- National Exchange BanE
building
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
UNION s-oCx YA1Ds

Thin and heavy calves ... G OO4 . 90
Fresh COWS, extra. per head 80 90 h 50 O0
do common to fair ..... 20 90 Il 40 0ll
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03
Fidelity Local Stocks.

Correct daily ilr PIN. INTEL .,r. .r
~ he FIDELITY lr.saf..,.- assoc. f..1. B
Stocks. Par Hc Ask o.. 81
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-10-03

" IT IT. u ~ " va. oct ?. y.
lATrLE-
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03

ris home Tuesday. Bill is looking fine
and is making good j nhis new loca
ton,
The McComb children, who have
had the measles, are convalcscing
nicely.
A baby girl was born to MI. and
Mrs. $. =. LOesch one day last week.
Mable Ferris attended the teachers
meeting in Watcrtown Saturday
Albert McComb and daughter, Der
tina, called at John Lrberl's Saturday.
Wall Mclaughlin, James Ferris, f.
Benthin and Arnold llallauer, who
have been in WatcrtOwn on jury duty,
for the past two weeks, have return
ed to their respective homes.
A number of young folks surprised
Paul Schcrer last Friday night, it be
ing his fifteenth birthday. The even
ing was spent in games and music
and all enjoyed themselves to the ut
most.
Libbie Patrick of Hazel, is working
for Mrs. ZamoW.
WatertoWn shoppers Saturday were
Nj. and Mrs Schuelke and daughter,
A.. T. KIatt, Mr. and Mrs. Walt Nc
Laughlin, Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Born
and Chris Lebcrt
Mrs. Fritz Elfring is still very sick.
Mr.. and Mrs. Albert McComb were
in Watertown Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Thiede called on Mr..
and Mrs Reed Thursday evening.
John Evenson was host to the "B.
II. b." club one night last week.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03
NOTICE OF

Notice is hereby given that the an
nual election Of the City of Water.
town and of the Independent School
District of said city will be held on
the third Tuesday of April, A. D. 1913,
being the 18th day Of April, A. D. 1913,
and that the following places in each
ward have been designated as the
place in each of said wards where the
polls will be open from 500 O'Clock
in the forenoon until 500 o'clock in
the afternoon of said day; namely:
First Ward Wilson's Garage, for.
merly Waterworks Office.
Second Ward, Lee Bros. Warehouse.
} Third Ward, Firemen's Room, City
Hall.
Fourth Ward, knights of Columbus
Hall.
And Notice is hereby given that at
such election a successor to the Com.
missioner whose term of Office expires
will be elected; that also at said cleo
ton there will be elected a successor
to two Directors of the Board of Ed.
cation of the Independent School Dis
trict whose term of Office expires. That
at such election the question will also
be submitted as follows: "Shall In.
toxicating Liquors be Sold at Retail?'
and any voter in favor of the sale OF
intoxicating liquors at retail within
the said City of WATERFOWL during
the year commencing July /, 1913
shall mark the word "Yes'1Tith
cross fEX) or place a cross in the cir
Gle or square at the left Of the Word
yes, and any voter opposed to the
sale Of intoxicating liquors at retail
during said year shall mark the word
mo" with a cross (X) or shall mark
a cross in the circle or square at the
left of the word NO.
This notice is given by order Of and
with the authority of the Board Of
Commissioners of the City of Water
town.
Dated this End day of April A. .
1913.
o. NJ. Lane,
City Auditor
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03
RESOLUTION NO. x3e.
introduced by G. K. Snyder)

introduced by G. K. Snyder)
Be 1t Resolved by the Board Of Com
missioners of the City Of Water
town, South Dakota:
Whereas, the annual election for
electing a commissioner and two dir
ectors of the Board of Education of the
Independent School District of said
City is to be held according to w
on the third Tuesday of April, being
the 18th day of April, A. D. 1913;
The Board of Commissioners do
hereby designate the following places
as the polling places for such cleo
ton:
First Ward, Wilson's Garage, for
merly Waterworks office.
Second Ward, Lee Bros. Warehouse
Third Ward Firemen's Room, City
Hall.
Fourth Ward. nights of Columbus
Hall.
And the following persons are here
by appointed judges of election for
the following wards:
First Ward, w. d. Burcalow, Fl. A.
Hanten and Chas. Pardau
Second Ward, j. w. Baldwin, Rich
ard Schulz and Clarence Schulze.
Third Ward, Ghas. Kranz, G. J.. Ian.
don and Chas. Barrette.
Fourth Ward, G. r. Goss, N. ].
Steichen and a. p. Foley
And, whereas, a petition has been
filed according to law requesting that
the question, "Shall Intoxicating Hi.
quors be Sold at Retail?" be submitted
to the voters Of the city Of Watertown
to determine the question of whether
or not Intoxicating liquors shall be
sold at retail in said City during the
year commencing July i, 1913; and,
whereas the said petition has been
examined and the same is herewith
determined to conform TO the require
ments Of the law and to be a sufficient
petition for the submission of said
question;
The said question, aShall Intoxicat-
ing Liquors be Sold at Retail?' shall
and will be submitted at said annual
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03

n IN RY

A large crowd attended the home
talent" play in the hall Saturday
night.
Christ Nangles returned home from
Wisconsin Saturday night.
Quite a crowd attended the dance
at the George Swisher home Friday
night. All report a fine time.
Harry Hubbard and family moved
on their farm Thursday and Friday
of last week.
Evelyn Christopherson returned
home from Watertown Saturday,
Mrs. Jake Daily is still quite sick.
A trained nurse from Aberdeen is
caring for her.
Mrs, James Ralph and little son
went to Kampeska Wednesday to Wis
It at the Henry Falvey home.
Henry Hansen and Oxel Walsten
were among the passengers to Water
town Wednesday.
Miss Anna Hansen spent her Easter
vacation with her parents in Henry.
She returned to Madison Saturday.
The Ladies' Aid met with Mrs. e.
+. Norris Friday.
Mrs. F. G. Sullivan returned home
from Minnesota Wednesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. Glidden of Elrod,
visited over Sunday at the Charles
Glidden home.
Mrs. Law returned home from N.
D., and is visiting at the A. C. John
ston home.
Mrs. Lewis Larson spent a few days
at the A. c. Johnston home the past
week.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03
HIGHLAND
his back

Emil Molln and sisters, Cecil Ost-
rander, Claude Rowley and the Dobbs
boys spent an evening at the home o.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bert Wishard.
Mrs. John Molln, daughter Almetta,
Herman Frantz and mother, We're
callers at the home OF Mr.. and Mrs.
VIM. Ellis Tuesday.
Quite a number from this Commun-
ity attended the funeral Of Mrs. Pu'-
cell at the live city Monday.
Mrs. Ed Selects returned home
Saturday from the sanitarium, where
she has been in the care of DR.. Bart
ron, and is much improved in health.
Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Edison went to
the city Saturday.
Mrs. Molln called at the homes Of
A. d. Ostrander and B. G. Lewis Sat
urday
a. D. Ostrander is unloading his cor
at Elrod and intends to bring his big
plow engine home soon
John Monn and Bert Wishard are
among the first ones to begin drilling
wheat.
The writer joins with the commur-
ity in extending sympathy to the he
reayed one in the loss Of Mrs. Pur-
cell, who died at the home Of her
daughter in Watertown Sunday after
noon. The funeral was held at the
residence of Mrs. McFerran in Wa
iertoWn, and the remains were ship
ped to Canada, to be buried beside
her husband.
A. d. Ostrander, B. G. Lewis, Hal
Lemon and Ed Selects were among
the live city shoppers.
Charles Wellington and son, Roy,
were in the live city. They brought
home a new drill.
Well, the courts are ended and the
men of this neighborhood are done
counting, so the wives are all wearing
smiling faces once more.
Mrs. Aim. Croft spent Monday
night at the home of her friend, Mrs
Tom Croft in the city, returning tt
her home Tuesday.
Herman Frantz returned Monday
evening from Iowa, where he wen
with Mr.. Schultz a few weeks ago
He reports being in the storm whici
struck Iowa on Easter Sunday. He
SAYS it blew down large barns ant
buildings and numerous other thing:
in its path.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03

lr. Miles L.ssaslse ablets are bess
for children.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03
APPLEBY

Miss Susie Michaels was married tc
Harry Hanten Monday. A dance was
given for their friends in the evening
and a very enjoyable time was re
ported by all.
Albert Scharn is very sick at this
writing.
John Gronewold is attending the
| Watertown Business College. He viii
drive back and forth.
Albert braves and his two daugh'
tiers, Mamie and Florence, visited al
Davis this week.
Bert braves attended q dance al
| Will Hackers in Rauville Friday
night. .,,a
Paul Scharn was called home on &C
count of the sickness of his father.
There was a dance at Newingham's
Friday night.
Mrs. E. G. braves has gone to visit
her relatives in Rauville and German
town this week.
The Conner family are all over with
their siege of the measles.
Raleigh Conner spent Sunday even.
ing at Braves.
Mr.. and Mrs. REYNOLDS were in town
Saturday and took their daughter oui
home with them.
Emil Scharn had to ride to town
for the doctor Sunday az Mr.. scharr
was very low. He couldn't get the
doctor by telephone as the line was
out Of order.
Geo. Dixon, secretary of the State
Grange. is at Volga this week attend
ing to some lodge matters.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-03

Sunday gave us a regular Old time
dust storm, SO much so that the ser
vice planned for Kampeska was given
up. Rev. Young of the Evangelical
church of Watertown was to have
preached here. He will occupy the
pulpit here next Sabbath--the weather
being favorable thereunto.
The shows and box supper that the
Grange has been planning for We're
interfered with and later postponed
because OF the grave illness and later
the death of Mrs. Jane Purcell, o.
Watertown, mother of the worthy
master of the Grange, J. J.. Purcell
1t is thought that 1t will be possible
to give the entertainment after the
seeding time is over
Mrs. Purcell departed this life Sun
] day afternoon at about four O'Clock
at the home of her daughter, Mrs
i Thomas McFerran, in the city. Nc
doubt an account of this splendid
woman's life will be given elsewhere
in this paper, but we wish to state
we had the pleasure of her acquaint
ance and truly 1t was a real pleasure
to know her and as ever to meet her
A woman of the finest integrity, and
spelndjd courage, conscientiously q
Christian, frugal and industrious, a
trusty friend, "A women of sturdy
Irish stock of the best type, q mother
and a grandmother OF whom one
could be proud and could well love
and reverence.
"A funeral service was held at the
home of Mrs. McFerran Monday aft
ternoon at three o'clock, attended By
a large company Of relatives and OLD