New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-04-14
AS | WAS SAYING

Read here the tale OF the Adelphomachous PUSSY
cat. \ certain rich man had four sons ana haue
them equal heirs TO his mansion, including the cat
Now when the old man died the brethren owned
the cat Jointly each holding quarter OF her IN lee
simple: and it came to pass that one day the pa"
connected with Williams quarter was sorey steppeu
on He being man Of compassion. swadded that
paw in a creased cloth whereupon the cat repaired
to the open CRATE and the creased cloth burst into
flames Then did the cat run through all the house
which was soon set fire and destroy ed utterly.
For which the other brethren brought SUIT against
William. holding him guilty Of the ruin wrought oy
his quarter OF the cat. and meanwhile William SUED
his brethren alleging that If their quarters mad he'd
still the cat would have died on the hearth ana the
house escaped destruction. All four brethren were
gathered TO their father before the courts could OBJ
tain verdict.
Moral: Rather than wade in swamps for cat tales
subscribe to the Green Bag.
\ pastoral people like the Bostonians are not
Inundated by the recent wolf hunt through their
streets but hanged il they going to tolerate the
new book wild Flowers Of New York. This is
actonabe,
Beautiful uproar since We innocently declared
Every woman is an Irshman." and threatened to
prove IT, Among others. here is a letter from Mt
Alfred Moves: You will find. my dear sir that you
have bitten Of a white elephant Listen then
What constitutes Irshman;
Il, \ mental agility that dehes the speed limit
This not want Of logic. makes bulls This not IN
comparable ire. makes Irish temper. rms not I'M
raraleled fortitude makes Irish heroism. The bull
the half-brck and the response To CAL Tor Nouh-
toers are out before the Ishman has taken time to
reflect 90 \ readiness to set affection above pflh-
ciple: what is the Constitution between friends :
q, An imprisoned devotion TO honor, as he sees H.
IN An inclination TO interpret everything per-
sonally. In misfortune. he Is oppressed. ana
therefore "agin the government 90 vast
spirituality He is spiritual in athletics as IN re-
ligion II IL not Irish muscle that wins; II is me
flaming Irish soul.
So there ye sr-r-re. Every woman Is an "lSh-
man.
II is Of course true that professional criminals are
now signing their jobs Votes for Women but We
despise Punch FOR telling.
Ghost story: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has just seen
the possibility Of tunnel under the Engllsh Chah-
mel whereas the possibility of a tunnel under the
English Channel is known TO have died violent
death murdered in it's bed years .a9o ny BRUSH
moralists The military objection was not what
killed IT, NO brethren. ii was Albons terror lest
her Youngsters might avail themselves of the short
cut TO Paris Honest ii was; and the Parisans
having seen London. are not through laughing yet
All messeurs how IT il droll'
speaking of the Titanic. it contains six pages of
our copy Awfully proud! We are probably the only
writer to dash off a mere trivial newspaper article
and get it into the Atlantic.
Mr. Clifton Johnson who edited the Artemus re-
ferred 10 in our last Is very remarkable man
While browsing in Northampton book shop one
morning he saw a delightful old lady examining
volume he had not only written but illustrated ana
bor annr.ciaton WAS so transparent that he yielded
Tn a human enough impulse and remarked Inc
pictures are natural aren't they"
yes wonderfully natural" said she, and II Is
most astonishing The Mr.. Johnson VINO MADE them
is totally blind
But madam Johnson protested nlIdN' no"
could he make the pictures if he was blind?
Quite unperturbed the old lady answered; lie Is
very remarkable man. H. H. IL