New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-01
AS ! WAS SAYING

WHY do tame folks wish to he Wild" cries the
ineligible Aryan in Good housekeeping and we
need hardly sketch the circumstances. Hon. Picnic,
thank YOU. Tame folks wishing to he Wild even
when they getting along in nice condition with
ont any Nature around
II is indeed terrifying question this of HASN'T
muras But do VIC quail? We do not. Armed with
the Tenth Theory. a match for all corners
All. those happy student days AT Iiinterschlag'
where Or. Grosskopf- KcinUassor our hOnored pro-
fessor Of Allesgewlssen instructed lis in the Tenth
Theory Nothing like Il! How shrewdly the old
Herr Doktor would peer at through his ancient
spcctaces after propoundng nine theories to explain
why Germans sleep under the bed: And how his
gray eyes would twinkle he announced. tri-
umphantly Young gentlemen, Nc now come 10 the
Tenth Theory. which Is. that We-ach. Himinel.-
don't know"
So glad that the waters in the Senate CATS have
been forbidden to accept tips. This viii b. relief
to the tourists. Al last. perfectly reliable mean
o.: telling the walters from the Senators.
A0cctionate MIR Nat Goodwin has selected nth,
and there s rejoicing the editors Of that ias-
ciuating little comic biennial. Who's Who. as they
look to the players FOR their joiest hits. and quite
properly. Read. for instance, the gay paragraph
contributed ny Miss Diamond Bzzdale. Hilarious
enumeration Of husbands. past and present skip
ping only the thirteenth.
From tho depths Of grateful heart, we applaud
this campaign for a quietor Chicago. and burn to-
assist It, As a first long step in that direction. We
suggest quietcr Chicosoans
As II the dome OF the Capitol not sufficient
there f. talk Of cnbelishng Washington with n
statue Of queen Vic. Careful. The effect viii be
very confusing
And ueedlcssly So By all accounts, this lady was
of moderate size. certainly not bigger than the
Library Of Columbia University. Yet Art knows
better. We have what Liverpool and London
ave done 10 that 'eplcss dime. We shudder We
sauiru. And there are moments whom u surprises
~ little hear the English keep on insisting that
"exaggeraton is not humor.'
WHY 40 much pulling Of hair and noses. and occa-
sIonalIy legs. over Peace? The problem IS IN real
ity quite simple, involving only tho discontnuancs
Of nations.
81 do not remember 70 have said" etc, writes
Father McNabb. adding: IL did use those words.
they are to be interpreted by my inward and III
expressed meaning"
Whew, This will come upon the interviewer as
an awful and crushing blow. Where is the r". ID
for accuracy when the interviewed behave Ike gen
tlemen? Takes out all the sport Spells That en-
nobling scene. the morning after. when ones nero
declares, '1f I've said anything I'm glad or III
sorry for IT," and dashes downtown to STAY the re-
porter
Picture in Punch" Pushcart bookstan. Amazing
bargains. Clerical worthy renardng: These me
old theological works don't appear TO be a very
salablc commodity with YOU. my man Pushcarter'
ansvcring: We'll sir the Wy e.. We buys the
books in lots an We as TO uke the bad with the
good"
lesson brethren. This years theological works
six dollars the volume. Earlier yntagcs, ten cents
one dime ne tenth part of dollar Moral: Hola
back h,s salary and he will not joggle your ortho
doxy
II Is sweet TO know that family Of Ave can live
comfortably here in town Sl.jOO year. but also
puzzIing How they practise that true econ
omy which as all our advisers assure u.s. consists
in exhibiting the maddest extravaganza?
Something really remarkable is going in Life"
where YOU will see a Christian Scientist seated on
q redhot stove. Happy too though inquisitive;
wonders what is burning
II is a calm. peaceful scene very soothing TO look
upon vet we fear Life" claims rather too much
for Christian Science and will deceive the young
Little children do not try tat least not in Amer
lea In Europe, where the faith is new and lusty
and accomplishes great things. this might do IL
,vas there that we met recently converted enthusi-
asst who such was his zeal, fastened to the dentist
and had all the beautiful filings taken out of his
teeth.
This reused in a sense OF tumutuous admira
ton. but we nevertheless advised him TO avoid
America We did not think his earnestness would
be appreciated by Christian Scientists over here.
Gentle so as to avoid giving offence, we prophesed
dngbats. H. H. H.