The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-19

The conductor sneezed when he ap-
proached her to collect her fare.
Inc young gentleman who was with her
kept his handkerchief perilously near his
nose most Of the time and looked the
other way.
Two other gallant swains who had been
talking to her finally got out their cigars
and hied TO the back platform. where
tte, soon Tit up"
An innocent infant In arms almost had
Mysteries as his mother held him up SO
lie could see the "booful LADY, but pres
emily when the car stopped and every
breath of air wss as still as the night
itself, the beauteous maiden drew forth
her tiny luce 'kercnief and swished il J
across her facs. and the kid" sniffled
like something had hit him straight be-
tween the eyes, and he turned his head
the other way.
The entire population ON the car knew
| that something VAS wrong with the at
mosphers. but they couldn't place It
! somehow.
At each stop OF The car bunehcs of pee
pie got Off
| The 'odor'' stayed with those who were
! left, however
Finally. I heard woman just in front
OF me say:
How in the world does she stand il
| herssIf?"
| yor the truth was simply this:
The oeauteous lady had so mixed ana
1uinpied UP the perfumes she was using
tnat the atmosphere simply reeked with
! the heavy sckening odors, and every
lady on the car was worn out with the
situation that they wanted to .haVe her
put off the car.
| And in the summer time too.
| Think of that
The very sweetness Of it coyed and l
can tell you that the combination of per-
fumes was rather influential.
Looked at from perfectly sane and
| out-of-danger distance. the jingleG odors
might be ta5ulaIed thusly
| Gown--Fairly reeking vith Mary Gar
| den"
Bonnet Heavily scented with heliotrope
| sachet.
Chiffon Scarf-Lined with sandalwood.
| Handkerchief-Scented with La Trefe.
Silken Bag-Perfumed with Vera yio-
| letta.
Combined Effect-Fatal to the nostrlls.
An overwhelming love for perfume is
| a terrible fault
| woman may be dressed in the most
perfect taste-frock hat. gloves. 'ker-
| chief. everything-but why, oh why will
she scent herself up like member of
the Standard Oil company?
| Why?
l once knew a man, even. who was
| guilty of such taste.
| | said to a woman who had known him:
! Have you heard of the misfortune
that had happened TO Mr.. So and So?"
| who is he? / can't remember" she
said.
ooh. yes. you do" l reminded; ''you
met him in Cuba"
"oh, yes she replied: ehe's the man
who always smelt so sweet
Now. like perfumes but one at a time,
| If you please.
A dainty fragrance everybody likes.
| Authors of the BEST Sellers" alwavs
| insist upon their heroines using 'lavender
| scented handkerchief" and they always
| talk about draperies that exhaie faint,
| mysterious sweetness like the fragrance
of white colvers in the early spring"
The hero frequently has been known
to discover the whereabouts Of his Lady
| Love" by finding her handkerchief
scented with violets.
It's perfectly natural for people to like
perfumes-but even the story book hero
ines don't try to use all the ffty-seven
varieties at one and tbs same time.
Oh. no.
| Even the grouehiest sort of person
won't complain. of single, delicate,
| sweet. odor, on my lady's kerchef, but
| when 1t comes to mixing perfumes, like
| you mix drinks. indiscriminately and
| without discretion, we'll
1t seems to me the commissioners or
| the legislatures ought to do somethinS
about 1t.