davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

money went a whole lot further in
the old days than It does now" said
the old fOgy.
That's because it didn't 90 so fast
explained the wise guy.-CinciDnati
Enquirer.
Mrs. Titewad - I'm going to have
some clans. some turtle soup, a salad.
some quail on toast, an order Of that
6llet Of beef with mushrooms, a small
order Of boiled ham and greens and.
oh. well, all the vegetables What are
you going to have?
Mr. Tltewad-Watch me closely, and
you'll see me have a fit.-Springield
Union.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28
An Economist.

NOW look here, my man." said the
philanthrOpist to the tramp; ''there Is
no use of an abebodied fellow like
you passing his days IN idleness.
Come to my office and I'll give you
work"
THANK you. sir" said Weary. But
I'm afraid can't come. I'm tryin' to
keep my income down under $1,000
SOS as l can save the income tax
Judge
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Miss Carter had not been successful
In bringing young Dodge TO her feet
and in consequence felt a little spite
ful toward him. One evening they
were having quite a serious talk In the
library.
do you think" asked the young
man. chat men progress after deathT'
'Wel," responded the girl, III they
don't It would almost seem useless for
some Of them to die"
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

81 sliniin says his wife may be

81 slmlln says his wife may be
A little bit inclined
To throw the dishes round too free
When speakin' Of her mind.
But 81 won't let her manner quaint
Cause him to pine or fret.
He simply says he's glad she amt
A London suffragette
When 81 his we'll cooked dinner carves.
Although her smiles are few.
He's glad she's not the kind that starvei
Herself and men folks too.
And when she let's a skillet fly
More forceful than polite.
''Three cheers for Marthy Janer say
ST.
"she don't use dynamitel"
-Mashlngton Star.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28


A letter in the London Spectator
dated May. I'LL. gives a most interest
ing description Of an academy where
ladies' could be drilled I'm the proper
use of their fans and initiated into the
mysteries OF 1.-THE angry hutter, the
modest hutter. the timorous futter, the
confused lutter, the merry flutter and
the amorous futter" In the eighteenth
century at dancing assemblies in Lon
don, Bsth and other places Of fashion
able resort gentlemen chose their part
ners by lottery of the fan" The fans
Of all the ladies present were placed In
a hat, whence each gentleman had the
privilege Of selecting one, the lady to
whom It belonged becoming his allotted
partner for the evening OF course
such a custom entailed a great study
of fans on the part Of the gentlemen.
Boswell, Steele and Pope found some
thing to say about the fan, and Guy,
enlarging upon the efforts Of his prede-
cessors, wrote a long poem I'm praise OF
the fan. attributing its invention to
Venus.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

She knows a silly smatter Of a lot OF pet
ty things.
She twitters OF the poets. and she really
thinks she sings
She always calls 1t Paree when she chops
a kite French.
She owns a bleary poodle, who wins rib
bons on the bench.
She's just a funny ruhles and nobody
thinks she's bright
But watch her dance the tango. for she
always gets 1t right.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Everything that is lovely reminds
me OF you" he fervently declared.
sit Is nice of you to say that" she
replied ID hope you see a great many
lovely things"
81 wish did. but this is such a
dreary. dismal place. don't you know"
Chicago Record Herald
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Secretary "A subscriber writes to
ask US the best way to prevent the
annoying attentions Of strange men
who follow her.
Correspondence Editor-Tell her TO
turn and ask the man for a donation
for the militant suffragettes.-Judge.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Louis-Bertie is the meanest man on
earth bet him a new hat one day
last week. lost the bet and today re
ceived a bin for n sum big enough to
buy five Of the best silk hats In town.
Charles Great Scott. How's that7
Louis-He let his wife select one for
herself"-London Telegraph
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Il understand they were married in
haste"
eyes, they told the minister to hur-
~ because there was only a little gas
oline left In their automobile. and they
were twenty miles from home."-Ex-
change.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

They hold each others hand. and then
they kiss
CCaresses hot as warm winds from the
SOUTH
A. they repeat It Ger and Ger there's
bliss
It seems. IN living thus from hand to
mouth.
Spokane Spokesman Review.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Doctor how can ] prevent my nus
band from talking in his sleepy
"Well. You might try giving him a
few opportunities IN the daytime
Pittsburgh Post
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

Mere man Is a contrary Jack.
And this Is just one stunt;
He always puts things on his back
So he can have a front
Cincinnati Enquirer,
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

"An olntments are soothing, aren't
theyT'
Not all. Disapp-ointments AREN'T
Boston Transcript.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

They sat upon the window sill.
We heard a sudden shout
For he and she. twas plain TO see,
Had had a falling out
Spokane Spokesman Review.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

A Oerman aYiarOr repvlts tnul az
ran his machine into shower OF
rneteors. There are rocky roads. even
In the sky lanes.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

"Well. Heury." said the fair maid.
did pepper ask you If you could sup
port me In the style to which ] am ac-
customedG"
'No dear" said Henry. He merely
Informed me that he couldn't and gave
me his blessing. Judge.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

No circumstances can permanently
imprison determined will
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1913-11-28

He chooseth best who chooseth labC
instead Of rest.-Old Saying.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
AT LEAST GOT RID or IT
Defendant Had Not Strictly obeyed
Courts Order, but Neither Was
He In Contempt.

Murray L. Pennell, a defendant in
the Indianapolis dynamiting case,
caused a little diversion in court pro-
ceedings while under cross-examina-
ton. Pennell had been vigorously
chewing gum while on the stand.
If you'll take your gum out of your
mouth we'll get along faster-we
wouldn't be wasting so much time"
said United States Attorney Miller.
Yes. take your chewing gum out of
your mouth" commanded Judge An.
derson.
Pennell sat in the witness chair APP
parently not making any effort to obey
the order Of the court.
What, don't you hear the order?"
asked Miller, after there had been ST.
lence In the courtroom for fully a min,
ute and Pennell had made no visible
movement.
Il swallowed it." mumbled Pennell.
Court proceedings were suspended,
while Judge Anderson spun around
twice in his swivel chair and hemmed
vigorously.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
HANDS BURNING, ITCHING

905 Lowell Place, Chicago, ILL.,
The trouble began by my hands burn
Ing and itching and / rubbed and
scratched them till one day I saw lit
tie red sores coming out. My hands
we're disflgured and swollen, and trou-
bled me so that I could not sleep.
They were cracked and when the
small sores broke a white matter
would come out. l could not do any
hard work; If I did the sores would
come out worse. For two years no.
body could cure my eczema, until one
day I thought I would try the Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. I used warm wa
ter with the Cuticura Soap and after
that I put the Cuticura Ointment on
my hands twice a day for about FIVE
or six months when I was cured"
(Signed) Sam Marcus, Nov. 80, 1911.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with SIP. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept. L. Boston"
Adv.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

began taking Lydia K. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and now / am strong
and healthy. Mrs. ALICE DARLING,
RID. No. 2, Box "a, Pentwater, Mich.
Read WhatAnotherwOm says:
Peoria, Ill. had such backaches
that ! could hardly stand on my feet. I
would feel like crying out lots Of times,
and had such q heavy feeling in my right
side. ! had such terrible dull headaches
every day and they would make me feel
10 drowsy and sleepy all the time, yet I
could not sleep at night.
after had taken Lydia z. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound o week / began to
improve. My backache was less and
that heavy feeling in my side went
away. / continued to take the Com
pound and am cured.
"You may publish this If you wish. -
Miss CLARA L. GAuwTTz, R.R. Nc. 4,
Box 62, Peoria, I'll.
Such letters prove the value Of Lydia
Il. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for
wOman's ills. Why don't you try it?
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
WASN'T GOING INTO DETAILS
Four-Year-old Had His Own Idea of
ProPriety Of Not Airing Strictly
Personal Affairs.

One little f~our-yearold boy who
doesn't live far from Central Park
west, New York, has as his particular
playmate a little girl of about the
same age. The children frequently
spend their evenings together, and the
other morning the girl came to the
fence and called him.
Alton" she cried, come out and
play"
Atoms mother heard the call and
said to him:
Tell her you can't come over just
now because you have to take a
bath"
So Alton went to the front window,
Elizabeth" he called, Il can't come
ove now"
Then he turned back to his mother
and added:
Il don't fink the rest Of it need be
saided."
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Reason to Be Afraid.

IT am afraid Of falling in love"
why are you afraid, does she take
domestic science?"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
City Grass Is Different.

A remarkably interesting fact was
brought to light by Lord Redesdale be.
for the advisory committee of tho
King Edward memorial fund for Lon
don, which was discussing the laying
out Of Shadwell market site as Il
pleasure garden. 1t was curious, he
said, that grass brought from tho
country withered away In London, on
the other hand, grass from London
grown seeds. fiourished. That is a
striking example of what scientists
call adaptation to environment.-LoD'
don Globe.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Continued next weekly
y 6ABY'S INDIGESTION. y

Mariana Wheeler, former superin-
tendent of the New York Babies hos
pital, writes on indigestion in Bottle
Fec Infants" in Harper's Bazaar. Among
other things h says:
During the last 20 years we have
made enormous strides in our knowl-
edge OF feeding infants. Now. even
with babies who have never had the i'm
mense benefit Of a natural milk supply,
we are much more successful than we
used to be when one food after another
was tried, in the often vain hope Of
finding One that might agree with the
child.
IF a baby cannot have its, mothers
milk, then the next best thing is cows
milk correctly modified to suit the in
dividual infant. The milk supply it
self must be pure. II we expect to OBJ
tain good results in artif1cially feeding
babies. SO much has been done by med
ical societies and health departments in
different cities that the standard Of
milk sold is now a great deal better
h 1t once was. Loose milk deliV-
cred in cans Is very seldom found now
adays, milk sold in glass bottles may
be bought in most of the cities and
towns, and in many places the so-calIed
certified milk which is the best Of all
in feeding infants, may be obtained.
This certified milk is regularly ex-
amined by medical experts and must
have the bacterial count below a GER
tain number in order to be classed as
certified Then, there Is the ~pasteurized
milk, which Is milk heated to a certain
degree before II is delivered in order to
kill the most harmful germs. Some
advocate this milk az being the safest
to use, but personally l do not consider
1t so. In my mind 1t has too many
disadvantages to make its merits worth
while. II Is often very co%nstipating to
the baby and may even cause the dis
ease known as 'scurvy' If continued for
too long a time.
However, II 1t Is not possible to OBJ
tain any other pure milk excepting this
pasteuriZed kind, then it is better to use
this than to depend on a baby food
All specialists In feeding infants agree
that modified milk should be tried first
OF all, when a baby must be fed from
the bottle" .~ .-..
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
CONTINUED from last wlok.)

Plac1de auBheu. MaudIIle III SSIS
that l am an Ole Partisan servant. l
was In the service Of Madame de Stem
lis a month; in the service OF Madame
d'Harlancourt for a week; with Ma
dame de Greux till l left her to better
my morals; with Madame de GerValS
Till I had no morals left. Here i found
the handkerchief of Monsieur de Sar-
tines under a chair, here under a Dol
Hter."
do you dare to say"
"Oh, madame, ! say nothing against
YOUR honor. Monster de Sartlnes IS
compounded of a minister Of police and
a man of gallantry. 1t was not the man
of g~allantry who left this handkerchief
lying by your bureau.
But the minister of pohce?"
IT fear so, madame"
.@Who came In my absence to spy
upon me?"
II fear so, madame" y.
why should 1 fear the minister OF
police?" L.
madame?"
Perhaps madame has frlenos' l
sneak only for madame's safety. but in
these times ones friends are some
times ones greatest enemies. .
Madame Linden paused for a moment
in thought, then she broke out.
TT cannot be. He Is a gentleman a
noble. He-to come here as a common
spy Impossible! Impossible! To me,
Accredited 10 the court Of France
70 me- impossible! Impossible! He
must have called. Magot u have ad-
mitted him: she Is stupid. and perhaps
showed him up here. Go down and
ask her. Quickly"
Placlde left the room n madame
placing the handkerchief on the table
turned to the bureau and opened the
top drawer. 1. ~ order limos
mo, everything ls In oroeF' AhpoS-
sible! Impossible!"
Almost Immediately h TAKEN
the top letter from among the papers
in the drawers, opened 1t and glanced
at the writing. 1t was from a WORK
ing dressmaker, to whom she a IN
trusted the alteration of a gown IN
closing a pattern OF the lining Aol N"
DANES approval.
MA foi" said she, IT had forgotten
this. I should have written to a tina
the color was correct, and now, with
ont doubt. the dress will not be I'M
shed in time before l leave Paris. But
where Is the pattern Of the lining
The letter was just a square piece or
naner folded after the fashion OF the
Time II had been fastened by a wafer.
she distinctly remembered replacing
the tiny pattern in the folded paper;
what. then, had become of it? 1t was
no longer In the letter.
She cast her eyes about, and there,
on the floor. lay the discriminating pat
tern.
She stopped, picked it up and at that
moment Placide entered the room.
Madame" said Placide, "Margot
knows nothing of the matter" He
ceased and stood staring at his mis-
tress. 1t seemed to him that she had
changed. become another woman; an
elder sister Of herself. He glanced at
the open bureau drawer.
Madame has been robbed?"
Robbed! / nave been outraged. My
papers nave been tempered with. my
letters opened. Oh, mon diu! That
perfumed policeman; that spy In the
coat of a minister; picklock, thief.
Wait! Oh, wait Inc we shall see! l
will go to the king. I will apply to
the dauphiness." She flung herself on
the fauteuil and sat, leaning sidewise,
beating the floor with her foot, pale
10 the lips, just as II nger had picked
her up, flung her there and stunned
her.
she. who had always been accus.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

Wigg-Oh. I'm tired of life. Have
you a pistol you can lend me?
Wagg-No, but l can let you have a
chatting dish.-Philadelphia Record.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
Cynicism.

Say, ma, what is a cynic?"
"A cynic, my son, is a man who
doesn't believe that. singers always
have colds"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29

Again the unloaded pistol, which,
W the irony of fate, never misses it's
lin!
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1913-05-29
WOMAN COULD
Not WALK
she Was So ML--Restored 10
Health by Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound.
Pentwater, Mich. IA year ago I was
very weak and the doctor said / had a

s0rlOuB WSpiace-
rnent / had back
ache aud bearing
down pains 90 bad
ths.t I could not sit
In q chair or walk
across the floor and
] was in severe pain
all the time. / felt
discouraged as / had
taken everything /
could think of and
was no better. I
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14
WHY DO WOMEN DISLIKE HOUSE
 WORK

"lt Is not the rey0lugon which destroys machinery, Lut the iric- ton" 1T I could get every woman who is mistress of a home. Co hft up her head. straighten her shoulders and say. T am the head Of the iars- est departmental business ip ghe world: l must know how fhe work la every department Is done, so. even though l do not have Co do it can always direct t intelligently, and know whether it is done rigat or wrong. and govern my criticisms or praise accordingly. J should know what constitutes g days work ani the length Of time required for doing 1t well, such as washing, ironing. sweeping, dusting. cooking or sewing. and a thorough inventory of my household goods and personal cloth jag should he taken at least once "a year" then should know there was not a housekeeper in the5 land wh0 -dislked housework ln nay first experiences giving cooking and
 housekeeping lectures was eop- stantly greeted with such as these: T hate housework T can't bear to wash dishes" "BousewoFk is SO monotonous.r etc. efc.
 There Is only one an, ger to this
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14

Arizona legislators vii sec many men in Phoenix next month who win tell them of the benefits the state viii
 derive from spending several hun dred thousand dollars in erecting buildings and making displays at the San Diego and san Francisco expo sition. The lobbyists will be there be- cause il will be money in their poek- cts 10 set an appropriation from Ari. zoua for the purpose of erecting the building. The lobbyists will have but
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14

the neighborhood While searching for fun and amusement under the cleo
 ric lights, the m'nister says, the Ioys are exposed to all sorts of de- tasing influences, says the Chicago Tribune
 Fun is becoming a grim business in tine large cities. The street is no longer safe for a child The street corner is unsafe for the young man. The dance hall and moving picture show are not without lures and snares for the girl. It Is an old subject. this protection Of the child and youth who are out searching for fuA and amuse ment, but it can never be over-em phasized.
 Having described the "wickedest corner" the Chicago minister told his that the safety of the boys and girls must not be left to the law. but that the churches must take a hand. the churches and the commit nity. The minister could give no bet ter advice. Juvenile courts and all that goes with such institutions are punitive and corrective agencies. They step in after a victim has been made. The thing needed is proven ton.
 Boys and girls in large cities should be provided with more places. public in the winter. public play. grounds and parks in the summer. frhere they can take their fun with out running the risk of having their lives or morals endangered.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14
Ms sA1ice GaChou N7x

dislike for housework and that is pia n, unyarnisbed ignorance of the IIoiession they are engaged in. Ihis has been proven hundreds Of umes since. when the very women Who said the above, later have studied housekeeping and cooking and now frankly come and tell me they like it Evaryone may not love it' but it can surely help make work pleasauteT and easier By kno~ing how Co keep the wheels Of the machinery running smoothly.
 am not very enthusiastic abou. New Years resolutions. tut lt is A good plan Co take a look through he house after the holidays and see if you have been SO expert as a house keeping manager that at the begin ning of the new year. every deDar.- ment in the home Is in -spick- span order and you know just where Co find everything and know just what new house furnishings are necessary.
 This is the season for special sales on all white goods and if an ta- ventory is taken at the beginning og the year of towels napkins. linen. kitchen utensils, underwear and in fact everything in the home and the clothing for the amily, and thia when done written on cards and filed as your card index cooking recipes are in a box, or drawer. many gray hars and WFi1kles yogld bes ssva,l the head Of the home, and less dime and energy both for yourself and 
 N this system could be used in the home during the entire year. ws would not De forced 10 give mp what little peace on earth there Is left for Christmas with the silly semi mentality we hear about saving th5 clerks at the holiday shopping time.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14
( . ( [ z < . c $ . . q Q 6 ( . Editorial Comment
2 3 2 2 z q . z . q . . e . . THOSE KILLED BY RAILROADS
tRecord.IIerald)

'HfahFN't st Agt fA4hl
 According to the recently issued re- port of the interstate commerce com. mission, leIS5 persons were killed by the operation Of trains on steau, railroads within the year ended June "u. 1912. Of this number SIS. or 3.I Der cent were passengers: 2.82G. or zA-b per cent, were employees un du- ty; @l3, or 51 per cent were cm- pioyes Hot on duty; l198. or II.g per cent, were others not trespassing. % and 5,45i or 53.5 per cent were tres. IasscFs.
 More than half those killed there fore, Tcrs trespassers. This aIassjH cation includes all killed on railroad tracks who had no good excuse for being there. such as tramps. pedes- trians. boys at play and the gatherers .ot, coal. who are in frequent evidence wherever there is q track.
 it is right to insist that the rail. roads shall care for the lives of their passengers and employees by every means possible. but the record of the total number killed can be most eff. iectiFely reduced by legislation keen ins the public of the tracks. The record cf li.9 per cent of others not Ire spassing" points also Co the need Of abolishing grade crossings as fast as possible. Safety first" should mean safety for the public that cross es tracks as we'll as for passengers and trainmen.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14

Judging from the reports coming from Mexico one might reach con clusion that President Madero has eiven mp all idea of offering further resistance to the rebels in that coun- try. The latest report was d fight
 within twenty-five miles of the na- tional capital in which the federaIs were routed after losing 136 killed. All confidence in the ability of Ma. dero to establish an effective govern ment in Mexico seems to be gone. Returning warm weather and grow ing grass will no doubt see rebel bands as plentiful as they were last year, The golden opportunity for sup pressing the present revolt win end with the cold weather and Madero and his army remain idle.
Bisbee daily review., 1913-01-14

They are human all the year round and would appreciate systematic what-you-wan buying eleven months in the year. then there is method and system when the holiday season comes.
 Talk about a saleswoman in a store being worn out. IL does not compare with the wife or mother without system, who runs her house pn the lhaphazard, ga gas-youtplease, hBd-itif-you-can, and catch-up-in-the- next-world fashion. She is the one