davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
AYHAWKE.R JOTS

Some gossip is too good to be true,
thinks the Fort Scott Republican.
Yes, girls, says the Atchison Cham
pion, paint covers up your freckles
and sal1ow cheeks but it also uncovers
whole gobs of silly vanity.
Mack Gretchen of the sedgwic;k5
Paragraph observes that the world
lifts its hat to the people who do
things, not to the people who are go
ing to do something.
An Edmond man kicked at his mule,
reports the Norton Telegram. The
mule returned the compliment and it
took eight stitches to make the mans
head hold the added knowledge.
Seth Yenawime tells the Manhattan
Mercury of a time in the dim and dis
tant past when he hauled a load of
corn to town and couldn't trade it for
two tickets to the county fair at SO
cents per.
THAT man." said an Ottawan re-
Gently within the hearing of the OF
tawa Herald, lis always bringing up
dead skeletons and reopening old
wounds with his conversation. He has
such a habit of rubbing things in that
it is just like an electric fan in a hot
wind
According to the Atchison Globe, an
Atchison man recently heard these
jokes at a New York theater: Do you
know the difference between a He
brew and a banana? You can skin a
banana. Do you know how to make
ice water without ice? Peel an onion
and that will make your eyes water.
A farmer from South Haven, who
shipped a car of hogs on the Santa Fe
yesterday, is a genius. Also, he is a
good business man, and a humane
citizen. He put a bed of sand on the
floor of the car, then hung lot OF
gunny sacks from the ceiling, and fill
ed the sacks with cracked ice. The
motion of the car caused a cool show
er to descend on the hogs, and the
sand bed helped to keep down the
temperature. The animals arrived at
their destination in splendid order,
notwithstanding the hot day.-Cha-
mute Tribune.
A woman once went to a priest and
confessed that she had in gossip
spoken unkind words of a neighbor,
relates the Horton Headlight. What
shall my penance be?'' she asked.
Take a bag of feathers said the
priest, land scatter them freely upon
the wind, then come back to me for
marve1led but obeyed. When she re-
turned the priest said: go now and
gather up all these feathers and re-
turn them to the sack" 81 cannot do
this" the woman pleaded in dismay
they are gone and I could not, by
Neither can your idle words, your
cruel gossip. be recalled" said the
priest. Though heaven may forgive
you the injury you have done your
neighbor cannot be cancelled. Your
words, like the feathers, cannot be
continued, that you will very careful
1y guard your words in the future,
knowing that when once spoken they
are forever beyond your control
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
THE RENTED FARM.

Today I wandered DER the farm
Near which my early lot was cast,
And viewed the changes with alarm,
Changes that made the happy past
Seem far remote and fading fast.
The fields, where record wheat once grew.
Are foul with briars and gordenrod,
Sumac, and ivy. There a few
Lean cattle bite the scanty sod
Where corn once ripened. thistles nod.
Fences are falling, and the sad
Old barn which once was filled with
sheaveS.
Where I have played, little lad.
Sncws sagging roof with moss-grown
caves
Its driveway choked with weeds and
leaves.
The boys have grown, and left the place;
The father sleeps, now on the hill;
And not one dear, familiar face
OF all / knew is left there STILL.
A tenant robs the soil at will
The simple quiet country life
Our fathers loved no longer seems
With thoughts of vast commercial
schemes,
Where sudden wealth absorbs their
dreams.
Thus do they leave the land to be
Half-tilled by those whose only care
Is present gain-resigned to see
Their bfrthright useless, brown ana
bare.
Results confront us everywhere.
Better to base ones hopes upon
The sure foundation of the soil,
Content to hold, when youth is gone,
An humble recompenSe for toll,
Than scheme, and fret for power and
spoil.
John E. Dolson, in New York Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
RY THE WAY
BIZ HARVEY PARSONS.

The janitor of the Minnesota state
mousse rides to work in his own auto.
The fact that he owns an auto is not
remarkable. but the fact that an ap-
pointive Janitor has any desire for
speed is remarkable.
When. a railroad invites people to
keep their dad-blamed kids off the
tracks, they are accused of trying to
restrict the liberty of the dear little
tots, and then, when some LOGON olive
negIects to go out in the brush and
make detour around some child, the
railroad, and not the parent, is
blamed.
The missis says she wouldn't have
dachshund around in fly time, as
dog of ordinary length takes time
to let in a lot of flies.
But, although it takes a dachshund
quite while to pass given point,
he has nothing on the average cat as
fly-time pest. A cat stops while
half way in and lets you hold the
screen while he tries to make up his
mind whether he wants in or not.
There is some argument about how
to pronounce "calliope." The office
boy pronouncesz the one in Rlngling's
parade fairly good, thank you, fairly
good: He meant, of course. the callio-
term chicken"
Filling Fuller, who didn't have tho
price and couldn't eadge a newspaper
comp, made the sour-grapish remark
that a circus was no attraction, any
way, except to small children and In
dams.
That bomb" sent by parcel post
to Andy Carnegie, was loaded with
ancient cheese. Some one evidently
thought Andy was interested in an
tiques-a favorite fad with some mil
lionaires.
Somehow, when we see bulgarian
atrocities in a headline, we always
think of those blouses
An Illinois girl who weighs 327
pounds has been carelessly mislaid by
her parents. Any one who observes
please notify the authorities.
There's no use trying to move away
from the pests. In the short grass
it's chfnch bugs and hoppers, in the
south, boil weeviis. in Texas it's ticks
boobs.
| In the famous New Jersey egg case,
which has been in the courts for
three years, there is still no decision.
Meanwhile the eggs are growing old
er. IF, as the egg owners assert,
frozen eggs improve with age, that
watch should make rare omelets
| when they are released and put on
! the market.
In glancing over the schedule of
fines, one might gather that the po-
| lice court is not observing bargain
week to any alarming extent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
TAX DOpGING.
FROM OTHER PENS
THE AssOCIATED PREss

1t is perhaps to be hoped that the
manager of the Cincinnati American
VIII bring suit against the Associated
Press on the ground that it contra
VeneS the Sherman Antitrust law
He thinks that this is the most dan
gerous and far-reaching monopoly in
existence"-all because be has not
been admitted to membeszship; If he
ion of it would undergo a sea-change.
1t is an unfounded charge which he
makes. 1t has repeatedly been shown
that the Associated Press is aNco-
operative association of more than
500 members, who supply each other
with news. They make no money out
OF it, and pay no dividends, nor can
they should it become as rich as
Croesus. New members are con-
stantly being added and the service
extended. There are several other
news-g gathering agencies in the field,
notably the United Press and the
I3aftan News Service, which would be
the last to admit that the Associated
Press has monopoly of the news.
But the old ISLANDERS about the Asso-
c1ated Press will apparently go on
until the matter is at last authori-
tatively settled. Last winter a crack
brain congressman emitted them in a
desire for popularity; tomorrow it
may be some one else. Every dis
gruntled politician who thinks he is
not getting the newspaper notoriety
wanton charge that the Associated
Press is controlled by the Interests"
1t is so easy to say and-for a poll
tician-so easy to avoid having to
prove it.-New York Evening Press,
MRS. MADERo's STORY.
MRS. Madero was well advised when she
her version of the assassination of her
husband, the late president of Mexico.
frankly she is determined to do what she
can to prevent recognition of the govern
puts it tersely: Who accepts Huerta
accepts his acts" The details of the
WIDOWS story add nothing to the enormity
of the crime. Nor are they likely to con-
vince any one who is inclined to let by
cones be bygones that in this case the
just course is the wise course. But the
information she supplies, whether ac-
curate or not in all particulars cannot
fail at least to remind Americans of the
origin of the present regime in Mexico
and enable them to weigh fntelligentIy
the dispatches telling of the intrigues by
which Huerta hopes to secure the sup
port of this country. To extend the hand
of fellowship to the murderous crew who
slew Madero in cold blood, except for the
graVest reasons of state, would be to con-
done the atroc1ous act and approve tho
overriding of democratic principles. This,
it is fair to assume, President Wilson has
no intention of doing. He has not shown
the slightest disposition in that direction.
But 1t is clear that large financial inter
ests are trying to make Huerta acceptable
in his eyes, and it is only fair and in
ever way desirable that while they
dealing with the purely sordid side of the
case some of the actual facts of tho
tragedy should be recalled to the public
mind. The American people Will not take
kindly to the idea of helping to put Mexico
in the hands of such a man as Mrs
Madero describes.-New York Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
HUNOR or THE D<Y

Family Cherub-"Miss Kitty, won't you
sound your head for me?' Young Lady
Visitor-"Sound my head! What do you
mean dearie?" Family Cherub-"Cant
you do it? Why, mamma told papa you
were rattle-brained. '-Baltimore Amer1-
can.
Grand Vizier-"Your Majesty, the cream
of our army has been whipped, and is now
Sultan-"Add a few cherries and serve
Puck.
Has old Billyuns much of a family7"
'Numerous-but not much Life.
Paragrapher-'"The sporting editor stole
my paste pot and scissors" City Editor
TN speak to him. This plagiarizing must
stop-"-Judge.
"A new broom sweeps clean" quoted
the optimist But often. becomes soiled
surprisingly soon" replied the pessimist.
Buffalo Express.
Mrs. Yeast-'I see it is said that
throughout her wedding day the Korean
bride is bound to remain mute" Mr.
Yeast-"No wonder the Korean bride
groom looks upon his wedding day as one
of the happiest in his Hfe."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Quite cyclone you had down your
dingeri Say. that wind blew biscuit my
wife made right through brick wall"
I'm not surprised Not SURPRISED? Then
you have experienced that kind of a
wind mo, but I have sampled your
wlfe's Observation-Disclosures Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
Cask Trapped Mad Dog.

A water-logged little rain barrel.
manipulated by John McMenamin. a
policeman. swallowed up a mad dog
and saved a crowd of school children
from harm.
Hundreds of children were playing
in Florida avenue, when the dog,
frothing at the mouth, rushed INTO
the thoro0ghfare. After the dog came
McMenamin. The policeman had his
revolver out, but he was afraid to fire
because of the children.
ThruSting the weapon back into his
pocket, McMenamin grabbed up the
rain barrel. He managed to attract
the attention of the dog to himself,
and the animal came rushing toward
him. The policeman stood on guard
with the barrel before him. He par
ried several attacks, and then. as the
dog leaped for his throat, the police
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
EVENING CHAT
Which Was Right?
HI RUTA CAMERON

Some weeks ago I published letter
from one of my reader friends in which
She asked my opinion of two families.
In one family, that of Mr.. and Mrs. A,
there are seven ill-bred children; the moth
er IS worn out with child bearing and
child raising; the father escapes from this
unattractive, home by spending his even
In the other family. that of Mr.. and
Mrs. B. the number Of children has been
bred and manly; Mr.. and Mrs B. are de-
voted to each other, enjoy life and do
much good outside the home.
Which, my friend asked, is the better
way?
Not being able to solve this question 1
passed 1T on to my readers.
Below are some of their opinions:
,,t Win you let n, me make a Z, suggestion
man. 1T appears to me that your friend
answers her own question when she says
! that Mr. AS aim seems to be to get away
from his wife and children as much as
possible in order to pass away the time in
a saloon or hotel bar-room. and that Mrs
| "A. has no charms for him.
"A man with a good wife and seven
| children, who prefers a saloon to his home
| is lacking in manhood, and problem that
| includes such a man and the family faith
cred by such man, and makes com
| family is no problem. We all know men
who are failures. some with families 9TH
ers without. We all know families where
there are large number of children who
are all manly little fellows and we also
he an incorrigibie. If Mr. A. can be cured
of the saloon habit and taught that true
pleasure is to be found in the company OF
| his family, 1 think your problem will be
solved"
| That is good letter, but it seems to me
he rather side-steps the real issue. This
lady is more straightforward:
My answer to your question:" she
/ writes, would be just one little sentence
| in favor of the poor drudge: She did the
| will of her Father. and what does it profit
a man to gain the whole world and lose
| his immortal SOUL?
| The first woman no doubt, was not
| looking for her reward in this world
| Quite as firm in the opposite opinion is
| this correspondent:
In line with your article in this morn
| ing's paper, permit me to suggest that
Mrs b. who brought one lone child into
the world and who after fifteen years of
married life, still held her husbands love.
| is the woman worthy or respect. Give me
the woman every time who refuses to per-
nit marriage to make a drudge of her"
| AS usual, there were so many excellent
| contributions to the symposium that L
| could not condense them into one days
| space. Please let me use tomorrow's.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

like YOU. you know, awfully well. but
marriage is more than that-love and
faith, and so many things to face the
long pilgrimage together with. Let
me think over it until morning"
Mrs. Eric glanced. at the two Curl
together. A maid handed Winona q
telegram, and her face turned white
as she read it. The rest were laugh
ing over their tea She crossed to
where Dora stood with Tebbs.
Il am leaving tonight. Dora, on
cisively. Charlie has been badly
hurt in an accident, and-and I must
go to him."
How absurd. Mona" began her
siste:. You can't go alone"
II am going tonight repeated
look in her eyes which man she
loved. MIR. Tebbs,' she turned and
gave him her hand, I'm so sorry,
but Charlie is only a boy and he
needs me, and we will be married at
once. I didn't know, 1 wasn't sure,
you see, until this came. But when
there's danger, one knows, ah, one
knows too well. Goodbye"
Poor foolish little goose,' Dora
said under her breath, looking after
her.
She is wiser than all of us, Mrs.
smuggling his shoulders. "She has
chosen what moEey cannot buy, and
the only thing that makes life worth
the struggle. A pluclSy little girl,
a lucky lad waiting. 1 say"
He stopped and picked up a few
loose pink rose petals that lay on the
polished floor at his feet from Wi
nona's last bouquet from him.
Copyright, 1913, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
DANCING AWAY TAXES.

Attention is called by The Survey to
new plan to support the park system
of Cleveland by dance hall tickets in
stead of taxes that has been preached
by the city park department. a. ].
Sindelar, secretary of the department,
has just completed a study of NUM-
cipal dance halls. In his report he es-
Inmates that one large dance pavilion,
operating in each of the five principal
city parks at three cents a dance.
would yield the city a clear net earn
ing of 100000 a year.
This would mean that the 5000, 900 re-
quired to operate the entire park de-
partment would all be danced into the
tills on three-cent tickets. doing away
with the necessity for drawing on tax
alton, and surplus of 100000 year
would be left to take care of improve
ments now covered by bond issues.
Cleveland's extensive system of parks
would be made self supporting. Mr..
Sindelar's estimate is based on the
operation of dance halls all year round
and on floors measuring at least 100 by
125 feet.
And if Cleveland can support its park
system in this fashion there is no par
ticular reason why other cities could
not do likewise, on proportionate scales.
Perhaps the younger and older folk in
other towns are not such dancing en-
thusiasts as are the people of Cleve-
land. There is little doubt, however,
but public dance halls in the parks
would be popular with many in every
city, and sufficiently SO that a revenue
oIf Txrhi
would help materially to support the
park systems.
There is also much to commend tie
plan outside of the valuable financial
considerations involved. Young people
are almost certain to dance. And much
of the objection that is raised to dane
ing is due to the environment that
surrounds it in most cities. There is
little or nothing of restraint in the
dance halls that are patronized by the
bulk of the young folk who are not
financially able to satisfy their desire
for dancing through the medium of
private parties. Conditions of this sort
are worse in the large cities than they
are in the smaller ones.
In dance halls. operated by a city
and in the public parks. the best pos
sib1e environment md reasonable res
traint would be provided. 1t would be
of the automatic variety, almost. No
dancer would be likely to indulge in
any sort of rowdyism or do anything
else that might be objectionable on the
dance floor with the public looking on.
Then, too, there could be no more de-
1ightful places for dances on summer
evenings than the parks.
Viewed from any angle, city con-
Quoted dance halls in the parks. APP
pear to be most desirable public IN
situations.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.1

lfTOm the chicago NeWS-1
Money merely talks. Whisky makes
man sing.
Immortality awaits the genius who in
vents wireless politics.
Even an empty head may contain lot
of useless information.
Borrowers are scarce when you have
nothing but trouble to lend
On the other hand, the rolling mill gath
ers moss in quantities.
Women who would rather be envied
than pitied show good judgment
The terms of woman's will are usually
less binding than those of her won't
Many a man gets ahead by inducing
other men to put their shoulders to his
wheel.
Somehow a woman's voice is always the
sweetest to a man she loves and to an
other woman whom she hates
We feel sorry for the mere man whose
suffragette wife refuses to take him TO
see baseball game once in awhile.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.
IRON the Philadelphia Record.l

PfiiIautIPii1d
Flattery seldom falls flat
Mans aim should be amfable.
A drum is never a delusion, although
it may be a snare.
It's generally the people who know the
least that tell the most.
A gold brick would scarcely be referred
to as gilt-edged investment.
The politician is never lacking in pluck
where the plum tree is concerned.
A poor excuse is better than none; but
the same rule doesn't apply to relatives
Some people never put off until tomor-
row the unpleasant things they can say
today
Wigwag-'FYour wife is thing of
beauty, old man. Henpeckke-"Yes. and
a jaw forever
It's a shortsighted policy to take care OF
your pennies and let your dollars take
care of somebody else
The Chorus Girl-..Do you get your sal
airy regularity The Ballet Dancer
wen. generally have to kick before 1
get it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Some people are adopts only at
causing trouble.
+ = =
What has become of the old fash
toned man who used to swear a great
deal?
= d
From the yarns they tell, many per-
sons have evidently developed the
ability to dream out loud.
4 j. j
AS to who was the more nervous
during their wedding ceremony is a
point that is never satisfactorily set
tied by a husband and wife.
d q d
Many of the men who point with
pride to the fact that they neither
smoke nor drink are likely to have
other vices that they can hide from
public view.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

man sidestepped and the dog dropped
into the barrel like a basketball.
McMenamin turned the barrel over,
with the dog underneath, and sat
on it.
At his leisure McMenamin knocked
in the head of the barrel and shot the
dog. The owner of the rain barrel,
coming into the street to protest
against such misuse of his property,
Menamin and the barrel had saved
Atlantic City On. J.) Dispatch to New
York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
HOME News WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate
of ten cents q week or thirty cents
a month (by mail only. ADDRESS
changed as often as desired. WINE
out of town the State journal Will De
TO you like a daily letter from nome.
ADVANCE paynent is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25
ON TEE SPUR
OF THE MOMENT
That Vacation.
By ROY K MOULTON.

That Vacation.
The folders that the mail has brought,
We've studied with a keen delight;
We've sat about the parlor lamp
And taken long trips every night.
We've travelled DER the summer sea
And on the road to anthracite.
We have Iolled round in deep content
Upon Atlantic City's sand.
We've journeyed with the idle rich
To the resorts in Switzerland.
By gentle breeZelets on the coast
Of Puget Sound we have been
famed.
Imaginary trips are great,
For there is not cent to pay;
And when it comes to travelling,
That seems to be our only way.
When our vacation really comes
Well just go fishing for day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

The Making of a Man" is the sub
1ect of one of the addresses that
Colonel Bryan is now delivering at
chautauquas. But 1t isn't likely that
during it's course he argues that an
income of more than $4,000 a year
is necessary to produce a real one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

Mississippi has Joined the get-rich-
quick crowd. It is seeking to obtain
the modest sum of $50, 900 from
the Illinois Central and the Yazoo
and Mississippi Valley railways for a
violation of its law forbidding the
consolidation of parallel and compel
ing lines
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

At least the American tennis stars
have proved that they can beat all of
John Bulls colonial children, and they
have high hopes of netting the old man
himself
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

Evidently the lobby investigation is
TO be a perpetual affair. A report
has 1t that the Manufacturers' asso-
citation is patiently waiting with no
less than 100000 letters to present
in its defense against the accusations
of MulhaIl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

And the arrival from the Antipodes
of that redoubtable dusky gladiator,
Sam Langford. was Immediately fol-
lowed by more drawing the color
line" by white pugilists. This is a
coincidence which confirms a common
belief that in such cases the color line
is not black but yellow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

Militancy may have cost English
women the vote but it has given a
few of them an incalculable amount of
free advertising.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-07-25

If you don't want to listen to a long
vacation tale before you have had an
opportunity to take yours, avoid the
man with a coat of tan.