The San Francisco call., 1913-07-28
Sc c. DANIELS
TELLS APT YARNS
IN BREEZY WAY
His Cryptic Sentence, "The
Atlantic Fleet Is Coming
Home to Stay" Will
Long Be Remembered

Two things stand out most clearly
In the minds of San Franciscans who
rame in contact with Secretary OF the
Navy Josephus Daniels. gifted press
agent and mana ging editor of the
United States navy who left the bay
region Saturday night after a busy
round Of inspection OF water stretches
md menu cards.
One memorable feature is his cryp
tic sentence. The Atlantic fleet is
coming home to stay" The other is
his apt yarns which were the "hors
soeuvres" OF banquets and lunch
cons in San Francisco and Oakland.
The secretary is a southerner of
Raleigh. n. c.. but not you all. and
Il reckon and q right smart piece OF
work" kind OF a southerner. He is
as polished as the Kentucky colonel.
His "r's' are all soft and melodious.
There is never a saw edge in anything
he says.
The illustration he uses to drive
home his argument for large navy
Is homely one.
II you are walking down the street
with lady and ruffian comes along
and insults you, you want strong
right arm to knock him down. don't
you?"
Most everywhere the secretary goes
the band plays Dixie" Apropos of
the compliment at the outset of the
St Francis banquet, Daniels told one
on an old confederate veteran who,
after the close OF the war. went away
up in the backwoods OF Tennessee to
live He didn't hear a band for 10
years. Eventually. he got back TO
Civilizations town supporting an
evening band concert. The old Johnny
Reb" heard Dixie" for the first time
since Lee offered Grant his sword.
After the piece the veteran walked up
to the stand and said TO the band
master:
.Mistah. won't you please play that
are piece once MOI"
Certainly: pleased to-" the band
master replied, and the band hit it up
again.
For a second time, and third and
fourth and fifth Johnny Reb repeated
his request and the band acquiesced.
The sixth time was too much for the
bandmaster.
say. old boy" he demonstrated "lf
YOU was 10 go to heaven 1 suppose
YOU would stop a the gate and ask
st. Peter to play Dixie for you. would
You?"
You bet I would" the old fellow
replied. AN if he didn't play 1t. blame
me if Z rise"
x
Having been lifted out OF the edi-
torial sanctum to the cabinet Daniels
naturally calls himself managing ed
itor' OF the navy.
When he pulled that al the Fair
mont Friday. a man acquainted with
copy desk and edition head lines
leaned over and said.
Let's hope that as mana ging editor
Of the navy you don't ever have to
that the ships have gone down, like
the forms do"
To which Daniels quick mind
handed back
Wen never have our stereotyping
room in Davy Jones locker"
On board the Hull, booming along
toward Mare island he told one about
2 southern colonel who was having an
argument with an old negro servant
VINO had been with the family for two
generations.
See here Jed" the planter said. IF
YOU can't tend to business, and we
can't get along d little better than
this. we'll have to part company"
Where's you gwine go. Marse
John?" was the old negro's rejoinder.
Telling a man who was in the party
that toured the exposition site with
him his experience Judging things by
their first appearance, Secretary Dan
4els related the case of a man who
got on a streetcar IN Louisville with
a cigar in his mouth and sat down in
the inclosed section of the car
Here, mister" the conductor said,
touching the man on the shoulder,
you can't smoke in here
TN not smoking" retorted the pas
senger.
But you've got a cigar in your
mouth" insisted the official OF the
railway cOD1DapV
Yes and I've got my shoes on, too,
but I'm not walking
Secretary Daniels takes issue with
the people of the north and west who
do not know the new south. He said
AT every reception he is sure to meet
several people who tell him they
time" way Of doing things. He says
the day Of the old south Is past, and
the new life is as progressive and
bustllng as any other section. He told
this story. said to be typical OF the old
order:
A travelling man in a small city in
Georgia noticed that the elite of the
town always patronized a hotel that
was in every way inferior to the place
at which he was stopping.
It il had not been for the transients
the owner of the first class hotel could
not have made a living.
The travelling man asked a native
why II was the citizens Of X
wouldn't patronize the Palace and pre-
ferred the Planters.
Wall, you see, it's this way was
the answer he received Colonel
Clsgett, who runs the Planters was
BON an raised in these parts. an this
othah fellah, we don't know nothin
bout him
The hotel man they didn't know
anything about had only been a resi-
dent of X Is years.
& SAN ANSEI MO PAII WAY