davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Eliminating Mr.. and Mr..

A correspondent OF the London
Daily Citizen suggests that the IN.
necessary and ~unpleasing prefix "Mr,"
should be eliminated from the super
scription OF letters. The deprivation
Of this prefix was one Of the penalties
enforced In our American colonies
during the seventeenth century. The
records OF Massachusetts show that
In 1880 Josias Plaistowe was con-
demned "for stealing four baskets OF
corn from the Indians. to return them
eight baskets again, to be fined G5,
and hereafter to be called Josias, not
Mr., as he used to be-" The Massa-
chusetts penal code also provided for
docking women Of the prefix OF Mrs
but there~is 10 record Of this clause
having been enforced,
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Nest on a sheep's Back.

An extraordinary story Of a star
ling's nest on a Sleeps back comes
from Bideford, England, and Is told
by the Pail Mall Gazette. During
sheep shearing operations on Gourn-
wood farm one of the shearers cut into
a fieshy substance, aud examination
showed that he had cut in half a young
Startling. which was in a nest that had
been built in the sleeps wool, and
which contained two other f1edgllngs
still alive. The nest was composed of
moss and twigs. For some weeks
previous to the shearing the sheep,
with the others, had the run of three
fields near the farm.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
"A Man. My SON."

The fellow who acquires the phys.
ical strength to handle a big pillow and
to manage a mule; who learns to love
an honest furrow; who gets the mora
courage to kill grass, In spite of the
shade trees that invite him, and who
can be patient. realizing that lie Is be.
coming, day by day, a real man, has q
thousand things more to thank God
for than the fellow who hasn't the
physical strength to carry a walking
cane unless one end of 1t ic in his
mouth; who hasn't learned to draw a
line without a straight edge to go by;
who hasn't Y moral courage to get
out Of bed b,fore 10 a. m, and who Is
impatient because he thinks the gov
ernor" Is too hard on him.-Atlanta
Constitution.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Good Loqlc.

Little Gertrude. of five summers.
had been living with her grandparents
for some time. One morning she
asked permission to 90 and spend the
day at the home Of a friend, when
grandma refused to let her go that
day, consoling her by saying that she
could go tomorrow. The next morn
ing found Gertrude up bright and early
happy in the expectation OF the prom
Used visit. Shortly after breakfast
she reminded grandma Of her prom
ise,, when sc was again told that she
would be obliged to postpone her visit
until tomorrow. Looking up quickly
her black eyes flashing with disap-
pointment, she said:
well, grandma, | thought today
a tomorrow; you said it was yes
terday."-Mack's National Monthly.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

"By two o'clock his smile had faded
and his eyes were CLASSY. He dragged
his feet and sighed at intervals. He
said that was because he had two ribs
broken and asked IL I was about
through.
"'Pretty nearly I said. All I've got
to get now is some cream bunting and
paper doilies and ribbons and hatpini
and sewing silk and o new street hat
and some ruching for Aunt Jane and
a pair of gloves and handkerchiefs
and-wait till I see what's on the
other lists-or do your ribs need at.
~tention?'
"T really feel that they need atten.
tion,' said Mr.. Burr. II they don't I
do. But I wouldn't leave for the uni
verse. Please don't send me away
".All right. them said I. Let's 60
after the bunting
I'VE went through a crowd to get
there" said Mrs. Merriwid, land some.
how the poor fellow got lost. I won.
der IL I'll ever find him again"
Copyright, 1918. by W. q. Chapman.)
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
ACCOUNTING FOR ~HOT AIR.
Statesmen on Eleetlonesrins Tour
Each Thought He Had q Good
Joke on His Opponent.

You can't always tell who's It.
unused Representative Taggart Of Kan
sas City. Kan. when | was election
eering out in the prairie section of my
district during the campaign last fall
l CHANGED to see, as l entered a rail-
way a n day, my opponent sitting
with a vacant seat beside him,
We had never met, but | recognized
him at once from photographs. Ac'
cordingly, taking my seat beside him,
and not disclosing my identity.
launched forth in ex~travagant praise
of him. To this he strongly demurred
ard forthwith poured forth a flood OF
compliments to my humble self that
made me tingle with pleasure all the
way down my spinal column.
After two hours of mutual fiattery,
We reached our destination, and, as
we parted on the platform, l thought
1t q good joke to tell him that | had
known his identity all the time.
so, still keeping my W identity In
the dark. l said to him:
"'Mr. -. l knew who you were AZ
soon al l sat down by you!'
"'And L. said Mr.. -, withou,
turning q hair, knew you were Tag
CART the moment you came in the
door,"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

wouldn't have missed It for worldA
Where do we go next?'
Third foor.' l replied. I'll 9
what they've got up there. Hurry!
There's an elevator going up now
II scooted to It and he followed just
in time to squeeze In. OF course he
was the only man creature and he
looked as IL he felt 1t deeply. but his
smile was radiant. It didn't take me
long to finish with the voiles. and !
started for those lingerie waists.
What? Oh, there were some bargains,
Of course, but nothing In my size.
worse luck! and NO small sizes at all.
or I'd have taken . chance on M for
you. It was fascinating, looking at
them. though. I must have spent near
" an hour there. and I nearly missed
getting any choice of the belts. Mr.
Burr was still serene. but he began to
do some Of his following with his eyes
while he anchored himself on a stool.
Well. dearie, / took him to ruchings, l
took him to veilings. I went up to
house furnishings and down to curtain
scrim. marshaled him along corrl.
doris, I wound him around counters, !
jammed him in elevators and drew
him into surging mobs Of wild-eyed
remnant fends. BY noon his collar
vas wilted and deep lines showed
around his mouth. He asked me then
IL It wasn't about time to go some
where and get lunch.
"'Good gracious!' I said, I haven't
time for lunch. Here, we'll go up into
the grocery department and get a few
samples. They're demonstrating
new kind Of bouillon.'
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
GRAY OR FADED
HAIR ESTOREDT t
NATURAL COLOR
Your Druggist VIII Return
Your Money if Q-Ban Hair
Color Restorer Fails.

= Q-Ban hair color restorer applied to the
hair and scalp stimulates and brings to
each gray hair surface the natural. youth
ful coloring matter which is always car
ried In the tiny vessels in the pith Of
each hair. No matter nov gray you hair
IL this natural coloring matter Is always
present and the application 10 the gray
hair Of Q-Ban hair color restorer brings
the natural coloring matter to the sur
face, II your hair Is wispy. streaked with
gray, faded, dry or l~ifeless. then apply
lions with each bottle and the hair will
be restored to its original, natural color,
making the hair glossy FUZZY. soft and
luxuriant. 50 cents a bottle al drug stores.
Use three bottles as directed and II bene-
hclal results are not obtained your $50
will be returned to you, because II be-
longs to o u II your druggist does not
keep o-Ban send US his name and 5oc in
stamps or silver and a bottle will be sent
you promptly. Hessig-Ellis Drug Co.
Memphis. Tenn.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

hams Vegetable Compound I improved
rapidly and today am a well woman. I
cannot tell you how happy ! feel and I
cannot say too much for your Compound.
Would not be without It In the house II
II cost three times the amount Mrs.
CHAs. CHAPMAN, R. F. D. No I, Belle
vue, Ohio.
Because your case Il . difficult one,'
doctors having done you no good, do NOT
continue to suffer without giving Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Q
trial. 1t surely has remedied many
cases Of female Ills, such as inflamma-
tion, liberation, displacements, tumors,
Irregularities, periodic pains, backachs.
and It may be exactly what you need.
The Pinkham record Is q proud and
peerless one. 1t Is a record of constans
victory over the obstinate Ills Of woman
ills that deal out despair. 1t is an es-
tablished fact that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has restored
health to thousands Of such suffering
women. Why don't you try 1t II you
need such o medicine3
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Wise Senator.

The senator, who was opposed to
votes for women, found himself cor
nered by an ardent s~uffragette. His
gallantry would not permit of a brus-
que retreat. He listened attentively
while she enumerated her reasons
why suffragism should be granted
her sex.
Madame" he began when an op-
portunity to speak was at last &C.
corded him. II am going to let you
into q great secret"
He looked carefully about him I'D
noted that they were alone.
What is 1t, senator?" she inquired
eagerly.
"Your wish will soon be granted.
We are going to make e law compel
ling the women to vote!".
He quivered with intensity al he i,n-
parted the secret. A cold, ominous
light sprang into her eyes.
"Oh, you are, are your" she fumed.
well, wen see. From this day !
shall use every influence against sui.
ragism. Compel US! Why. the ideal"
Whereat she walked angrily away.
leaving the senator to his own pleas
ant redections.-Puck.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

necessary for me to talk, I might not
then be thinking of him.
at assure you that l am not, a good
deal of the time,' I told him.
"'Cruel!' says he. That, however,
tends to dispose of the thought wave
theory. It must be a sort Of subtle
soul emanation.' He looked at me
wistfully, wonderingly, as he advanced
that idea.
"T suppose I can't help emanating.
but l can call in the police I an
swered. It's nearly eleven now.
"'One day with you,' he breathed
ardently. One full, complete day with
you'll
"That was where I warned him.
You'd be sorry II I took you up on
that. Mr.. Burr 1 said.
"Try me- he replied, with a slow.
saccharine smile.
".Suppose we say tomorrow, them
says /.
"Auntie, dear. If you had seen the
look-of rapture that ilfumined his
hitherto p~ensive countenance, you
would have been touched, and yet
there was a shade Of i~ncredulity in 1t.
He seemed to suspect a joker.
at mean it, I assured him. If you
want to tag along with me from early
morn until dewy eve tomorrow, you're
on
"We1l go into the country he
cried joyfully. Well take the train to
a quaint little village that I've often
wanted to show you and we'll lunch
at a bizarre little old-world tavern and
"Nay,' I interrupted, not with my
consent, aid, encouragement or CO
operation we won't, II you'll overlook
my s~tammering grammaring. I begin
to see now what you want. It's a pic
mic with me as q mere adjunct to the
scenery. No, dear friend. said you
might come along with me, not that
would accompany you
".All I ask is to be allowed to be
neal YOU he protested.
"'Then eight o'clock sharp tomor'
row morning at the corner Of State
and Madison says !.
I'VE met. The irst thing that had
:son my list wal cotton voiles. There
mas q basement sale on that and ]
Is the first one at the counter. ]
I ofge reason to believe that MI. Burr
d Is second, but I couldn't swear to
1T. It didn't take me more than thirty
minutes to go through the entire
stock and decide that there wasn't q
piece In 1t that I'd be caught dead In
but It took me all Of that, because the
prices certainly were attractive and
there was quite, q mob. When ]
worked my way out Mr.. Burr was on
the outskirts. beaming happily.
"'This is great!' he chuckied- 7
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
MELISSA LEADS Mr.. BURR A MER.
RY BARGAIN CHASE.

HE brought it on himself" declared
Mrs. Merriwid. Nobody can say that
l didn't warn him, either; and now see
what's become Of him."
What has become Of himf" Mrs.
Merriwid's maternal maiden Aunt
Jane asked the question.
Il was thinking of calling up the
hospitals to find out, dearie." replied
her niece. "The great thing il that he
isn't here, and I gave him 3 most cor
dial invitation. too. I rather infer
that Mr.. Burr will be able to exist
without the sweet solace Of my pres
snce for quite a few days. You know
he had his doubts about IT,"
II didn't know" said Aunt Jane.
Dear me, yes! OF curse there
were a few stunts incidental to the
bread-winning performance that made
claims upon his time, but he took no
real interest in them. He only lived.
as you might say-1ived'-in the sun
shine Of my smile. OF course. II
didn't feel like smiling. that was all
right, too. The point was that he had
to be neal meat my feet, or therea-
bouts. He said he didn't pretend to &C
count for 1t scientifically. 1t might be
vibration-thought waves acting upon
a highly sensitized soul retina tuned
to the proper pitch! 1t might be psy'
chic or it might not, but anyway. my
neutrality-suspicious., as it were
filed his being with an ineffable hap
piness, a supreme content, a sense OF
completeness-just like that. 1t wasn't
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Also Had Time to Think.

why Is it that you have never
married."
when | was a boy my father and
others who possessed the benefit OF
experience, advised me not to marry
until / had saved up at least $lO.
O00."
Haven't you ever been able 70 save
that much"
yes: but a fellow learns such a lot
while he Is saving 100000"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
WOMAN IN
TERRIBLE STATE
Finds Help in Lydia E. Pink.
hams Vegetable
Compound.
Bellevue, Ohio. az was in a terrible
state before / took Lydia E. Pinkham's

Vegetable Com
pound Ny back
acheduntil ~lthought
1t would break, | had
pains all over me,
nervous feelings and
periodic troubles. I
was very weak and
run down and was
losing hope of ever
being we'll and
strong. After taxi
ing Lydia E. Pink
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

such as prickly heat, ivy poisoning,
insect bites and offensive perspiration
are quickly relieved by applying
Tyree's Antiseptic Powder. Csc. at
druggists or write ]. S, Tyree, Wash.
ington, D. c.. for free sample.-Adv.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
RuR.MY-IlSM

Will cure your rheumatism and all
kinds Of aches and pains-Neuralgia.
Cramps. Collie. Sprains. Bruises. Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns. etc. Antlseptle
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The best way to kill bedbugs Is to
fill their mouths with snuf and let
them sneeze themselves to death.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The wise man follows the lines Of
least resistance by telling all women
how well they look and all mothers
their babies are beautiful.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Odd Position.

"Why does a chauffeur get under an
automobile"
ITO overlook 1t, OF course"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The Portland cement output in this
country between 1870 and 1880 was
only $4,000 barrels. In 1912 the out
put was 10000. 900, 900 barrels.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Isn't it queer how many of your
friends are broke when you want to
borrow q few dollars?
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The largest proportion OF suicides
in European countries is to be found
in Germany.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Nea. " everybody in a small town
pretends to despise an amateur show
yet nearly everybody goes.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
WHENEVER YOU NEED
A GENERAL TONIC TAKE GROVES
The Old Standard Groves Tasteless chill Tonic is Equally
Valuable as a General Tonic because it Acts on the Liver
and Drives OFT Malaria. Err ches the Blood and Builds
upthe Whole System. For Grown People & Children.

You know what yu are taking VIII n you take Groves TaAeess chill Tonic
as the formula is printed on every label slowing tat it contains the well known
tonic properties of QUNINE and IRON. 1t is as strong as tn strongest bitter
tonic and is in Ta less Form 1t has no equal for Malaria. Chihs and Fever
Wekn S. general debility and loss Of appetite Civ life and Vi or to Nursing
Moters and Pale Scky Children K moves Biiousness without purging
Relieves nervous depression and low spirits Arouses the liver to aei n and
punhes the blood. A True Tonic and sure app tier A Complete Strengthened
No lamly should be without it. Guarantee by your Druggist We no IN it soc.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
No Wonder.

my business is always humming.'
What Is it,"
II keep bees"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
What It Costs.

"Politeness costs nothing"
Nothing, Ell? G. SITS me my seat
twice a day." declared the tired strap
hanger.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Proper Dignity.

rs your cook easy to get OIL WITH
"Oh, yes, indeed. She Is most kind
and c~onsiderate, but she makes us
know our place"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The level-headed man is not apt to
be a rounder.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Danger.
Don't lay the scene Of your play In
Alaska?"
why mott"
Because It's bound to be q frost"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Fussing with the neighbors will not
right your wrongs.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
the Hospital.

This man has water on the BRAIN"
Naturally; he's a stock promoter"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Lots of girls have a fine time rum
ming a powder race with a marsh
mallow.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Nothing pays a bigger dividend on
a small investment than politeness.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
offers No Resistance Now.

"COrkins Is a booze lighter, isn't
he"
mot now; he surrendered long
ago."
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

The love of money proves that the
world is full Of rooters.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

A bachelor guesses that most Of the
women haters are married men.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

1t is no compliment when a woman
says, "Oh, all men are alike!"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

Every time a woman takes the con-
ceit out of a man she adds to her own.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12
Hia Reasona Tharefor

oHo nSAoVte sUOtesVSv
what makes that rich man 20 stuck
on himself
Il suppose It il because he mads
such q fortune in RinA"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

LAX-ANA,' sure Chill Killer" KM-LAx. b~esttonie
known for liver and headaches-without calomel.
DE-. Dsuglas Wise fssls ssr wsaea-fresh and strong. Sold
By all druggists. fd-fs.s Dvug m. Go. nhs ns.pklA. fsss.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1913-09-12

ago."
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-25
WIFE USES Z
Csacxed f..nar1 III Had ED 1Ae1
He'd Hin I.,I Hue;aknsd Cksse

lev 2ax y. ~ yea ss-Is
~ c.z.ksc y. -as .sSc xS1 Z re
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pA-fl IT. 2o.csaS .G.--lsS % *
z13.asee. sacr1e. e-9o.1.y ~.-lS 20
IL .le kas =. -t.sz,-.s.. znys. IL,
ros1c Tx Epssfs.. zig Il zyse.
VIZ. e.rc :. 1T Te.bs.- s.S
IL =zY E%sl1 2A tzcA9 san III. =.
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Elsas Tx ap4nz y Ia G1s- 70
los sGS Ls~ Ts>as. E"ss lEs -s
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e1:lvaL NE j1.as Esai *, Cos
Asvse sss ksx@ as As-- "eo&@s
.sso LIZ Esw xa& E2sS . rosE
Has e1eA .s.cS e ~
mszAiax ,hs scl. 80 ssras- aze
IL ,ssK.k k4 Asc f.ses t.a> lg4se
thzz h3s o.zk.-.oz VIZ rsasas<Y &.-E
ny ( as4sY sspr ::.a 4 ..s .. .2s
AxAEs n ne zc3 -. rs ..@,s ~
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.z.t e1ss ~ a2s Ae-S@s -1s- z.s
IL. or zEs52 Sslass T. szAcs.y lrsl-
:ls.- see.es s1s.ag ~ .s.s- 4. Z
szse S3sza>e .c-. 2-s y<e.x. VIZ
k4E zig c,re.s1 WIZ .as o..ks.
weAyg.-
sosae mfn1.es z,@ &. E1ezs .s-
.ssysS aore I'd lrs~sa XIX ~ ~
hsyzy szstet -. III .s ny
yS:a. T. rsr.zt. Bzs sTo:z g-- ~.
WsSSe!F. ayr=ss. TIT ~ n az VIZ
nzn kzs IN. .@ea 1>sas~ "sc.s. azx
beea writing III Il la-.a T. ssT 3-ss
Sou.a y. TIT E<..r zsr.a.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-25
FARMERS STUDYING
iaS'Iu",e StSsa for I~n.trussfnx Them
In Rising CAule.

INrraose, X l.. YAb. z5-about
10y 'afme1r. a! y. .aoaa .nnnn y
sazsss "a ne ra!ssng ~ GARY carl.
~ "hr aass sisezo? msG. arrange
!n+n% ~. tn> pv.chsse .. ca,,le. ar.
hsrk@2zfinx IN 4 kchsoa u sns.r-c.
~ ~nlch GDened ae.e toSsY. sno
raea VIII continue Til F,idzy ersa-
.aS me prfprse y. The >choo. 10 :,
.hsf'e~t ms farmer, 81 carnz Tor II.
szje q I: In being cohdve.sd me,
W c!rsr,pa II she Lertnaore Com-
me'e.@i r!1o. assAied ny y. u. Center,
's'ec'r, ,rr cram Forkx c,1n.y al
n. Eet,er Farming szsoclst.oa.
~ acc.ttnn " thing Up a stud,
~ ne Hz!fS pronIeu the farmers siE.
WIZ Sifs >n1s a%tten,:on ~ n,heY farm
cDssnrn,. sLcn an tae raivinx n.
arssrr. saesD. Nozs. err.
Ia.H morniaS the wo.l opened with
= t!scnszi1n NJ ca1!hz tos hnrse,. anI
this si'H'.oon the lper.ioa q: nnx,
ano q raiz.az III pnta,oes wss xi:sn
attention. ~
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-25
TAKE interest
n FARM WORK
se~ev Coop~ Sr Boys
TAKE Eza5 . Assoas-
>.s A--TzA

~ F.r -i. ri.1
. ~
r4rss = "a %<
--4 ess...y, w T-c
-r-.s -,e.,... ss-...- :. =. s-.-.
W. {
-.--.c
't~ ,,-.,,
- -. $500
- 'e. -..o -,s "
-. -.
- - 80. r.r.ts.
-. ..ge -.
. 80. x.-r..-
-. ~ 80.
90,
-. f.-r .-c
-.
- s~s@
- - ~
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..---
-.-s.
-. - s-~.- -.
-. -
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-. . ~
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-02-25
HIGHWAY
BENG PLANNED
NznSz1 Commercial Cub
Makiag Preparations TO
Cary o. Work

Lza>z@ u. L. Eso- ss---o-8s
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