davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
DRAGGED INTO IT.


We'll" he said, considering it high time
that one of them broke the silence whicb<
was becoming dangerous, "this is the
year 19l3.'
Yes" she replied with a plaintive lit.
tie sigh.
Are you sorry?'
'.why should be sorry?"
There will not be another leap year
until 1885,
II hadn't thought of that.
"Of course l didn't mean to insinuats
that there was any reason why you should
care"
THANK you"
ITO a pretty. attractive girl leap year
naturally means nothing
''Why should you say that to me?''
''Your mirror ought to tell you
"Do you really think sop
'I wouldn't say so If I didn't think sou
But you don't suppose l would a,a all
myself of the privilege leap year is sup
posed to give 4 girl, even If I were un-
attractive, do you?"
mo, of course not
Il can't understand why you should
have brought up the subject"
'.It just happened to pop into my mind.
THAT word pop always amuses me-.
docs it? Then I'll repeat it as often
as you like"
"Oh, thank you. Do you know. some-s
thing told me when you came in that you
were going to bring up the popping ques-
ton this evening? g?''-Chicago Record Her.
aid.
SHOULD KNOW BETTER.
'T don't know what should be done with
Jobbles."
Whats wrong with Jobbles?" q
''He still says Parcels post " z
PATTI, COOK y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
MIGHT CAUSE TALK.

We enjoyed reading the two follow up
verses added TO our little Easy Street
jingle by P. Gray Meek, of the Belle
fonte. Pa, Democrat Watchman and
forwarded to us by M. H. James of the
Johnstown Democrat, but we operate our
column strictly for the family circle and
we fear that if we reproduced Brother
Meeks light and aify stanzas anent the
location of corns when one resides on
Easy street, we might offend some of the
dear old ladies who occasionally read our
stuff
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Just 40 years after writing these verses
it was the happy privilege of the author
of Darius to behold, soaring aloft in
the sky above lin the very flying ma
chine which, in cruder form, his own
Darius" had so long before sought to
launch. This was at the Boston aviation
meet September, 1910. on which notable
occasion was taken the picture in which
lie is shown clasping hands with the fa
nous 'bird-man." Claude Graham White.
The poet was not averse to accepting lie
aviator's invitation to soar aloft but some
friends dissenting. he concluded TO delay
his fight until the flying machine has ac-
CURED more of absolute stability. Mr..
Trowbridge IS years young. and finding
as always he has, the world fun of zest
and beauty, is now sojourning in sourh-
ern Europe. where for some years he has
been spending his winters. Though he
still employs the olo-rashioned ocean
steamship means of transportation, who
shall say that he may not yet be prisi-
eged to make the overseas journey in an
aerial craft of which the prototype was
the flying machine designed by Darius
Greeu'S
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
A LITTLE ACT OF KINDNESS

From the New York Tribune.
George Ade was talking about his last
visit to London.
II like TO knock about London alone,'
he said studying the places of historical
interest: and remember with particular
pleasure a good deed that performed at
one of Iondon's historic landmarks for a
Chicago woman.
ut was a rainy fall day. and I sat over
a beefsteak pudding and a mug of bitter
at the Cheshire Cheese in Fleet street
1.-THE Chicago woman entered. Bos-
wells johnson In her hand. The Che
shire cheese was, you know, Johnson s
favorite tavern. and the woman had been
told that the great mans autograph could
still be seen penciled on one of the walls.
..The walters told her they knew of no
suclf autograph; but the woman. with
dauntless Chicago spirit. began a long.
long search, upstairs and down.
while she was upstairs a warm glow
of benevoence suddenly rose up in my
breast, and. tAling a pencil from iny
pocket / wrote with quaint eighteenth
century fiourishss on the wall behind me:
Sam Johnson
"The woman on her return from up
stairs spied the autograph and was over
joyed Is it not amazing how much hap
riness we can give to others by these lit
tie act sof kndness?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
A FEAT Of MEMORY

From the Chicago Tribune.
From Boswells Life of Johnson"
Johnson has said he could repeat a com
plete chapter of "The Natural History Of
Iceland" from the Danish of Horrebow,
the whole of which was exactly thus
@There are no snakes to be met with
throughout the whole island"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
The city ne.utifu,

That was good suggestion which
someone made recently in the Hotel
Lobby column about the city beauti-
full movement said club man.
There was very active city beauti-
full movement in Birmingham a few
years ago and that movement should
be revived. 1t is wonderful how much
can be accomplished by women when
they organize in the interest of civic
Improvement and women are naturally
fitted for promoting every cause relat-
ing to the true, the beautiful and the
good.
If we could get everybody, not sim
ply many people, but every householder
to keep clean back yard as we'll as
presentable front yard much would
be gained. Next to the clean yard
question is that of paint. l wish there
was law that would require every
owner of wooden house to have it
painted at least every two years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Friend of w. j. d.

From the Fort Payne Journal.
II. spite of all the filings and attacks on
Mr.. Bryan, he still retains the respect
and confidence of a majority of demo-
Gratis of the country, and it has been
fully demonstrated in the last campaign
that a candidate cannot get the demo-
cratic nomination for the presidency
without Mr. Bryan's help. He is still the
foremost democrat in the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
STATE PRESS
Strange Coincidence

From the Troy Messenger.
The steamer James Staples blew up
near Mobile Thursday, killing Is men.
Strange to say, the accident occurred
neal the grave of the former owner OF
the boat, Norman Staples, who committed
suicide recently. Boat and master had
been long associated. Was 1t pact be-
tween them?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Trusts and Benefnc,Ion,

A new feature of the World Almanac
which appears in the 1918 issue is a list
OF the great trusts in the United tSates."
observed member of the Chamber of
Commerce. In a foot note the editor of
the almanac says that trust as princi-
pally understood means a consolidation
combine, pool or agreement of two or
more naturally competing cocnerns which
establishes limited monopoly
-Four pages are devoted to the 'princi-
pal trusts Many are good trusts no
doubt, but some are bad. 1t is gratifying
to know that along with the increase of
trusts is an enormous increase in bene-
factions. A year go the World Almanac
devoted four pages to benefactions totall-
ing sl50,000,O00. Gifts OF. donors under slO.-
COO were not included. The benefactions
for 1912. not including those under $40 eco.
totalled over $500, 100000. and six page
were required to set forth the facts.
Andrew Carnegie was the leader in
1911 and he was the leader again in 1912.
In the new list j. Pierpont Morgan comes
next to Carnegie. John d. Rockefeller
ranks third. Morgans gift of art treas
ures to the Metropolitan museum is val
ued at s50oOo,oOo, but their esthetic value
cannot be estimated in money. These
treasures are simply of priceless value.
Among Morgan's other gifts were $4,000
toward the building of a hotel for sailor
men, $4,000 TO the Seamen's church IN
stitute of New York; an altar to the Epis-
copal cathedral of st. John the Divine, in
New YORK.; 5000 TO the Men and Religion
Forward Movement $4,000 to the London
Young Mems Christian association, and
$500 to the tuberculosis preventorium.
Thomas F. Ryan made many large
gifts, including 100000 for the building
of the Catholic church of st. jean the
Baptiste. New York: 100000 for convent
at Suffern. New York; 100000 to the con
vent of Perpetual Alteration; sas,oee for
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
SEVERE TEST.

PA, what is an optimistic
''An optimist, my son, is twelve-dollar-
a-week clerk who can remain cheerful
after reading in the newspapers that
Frank Chance is to receive forty thousand
dollars a year for managing the New
York Americans"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
INVERSE ENGLISH.

During the recent cold snap the business
of a downtown barber shop fell off con-
siderably. The proprietor was Dutch
man. whose English was not of the best.
He walked up and down his little shop.
in which not a single customer had been
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Observe sss e
He holds Il public
Office now
And voters say,
''Oh, tell us, please,
When will you keep
Your promises?"
Their taunts, forsooth,
He'd fain ignore,
As many men
Have done before,
But strange to say,
His conscience keeps
Him all upset,
He seldom sleeps
And gazes with
Distracted eye
Upon the world
Of pasSers-by,
So much involved
He never could
Begin to make
His pledges good.
A man who won't
Resort to tricks,
Is out of place
In politics,
And truly ought
To hesitate,
Ere he becomes
A candidate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Thomas Dolan pays taxes on personal
property in Philadelphia valued at &c.
10000. while Mrs Penfield, whose father
kept a big drug shop, pays taxes ON S.
092,750. She leads the women as Dolan
does the men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Fearing the Worst

From the Greensboro Watchman.
Inasmuch as Rockefeller put up the
money that is being used in the effort to
eradicate the hook worm, some folks are
expecting him to issue orders that kero-
sene and other coal oil products be pre-
scribed exclusively as a remedy for the
disease.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Soldier Reneges

Grom the Montgomery News.
A soldier. who deserted two months ago
to be married has surrendered and asked
to be returned to his post. Evidently he
prefers the chance of facing powder in
the field to the certainty of facing it in
the boudoir.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The Keokuk dam will become opera
tive June l, and st. Louis hopes the day
of the small manufacturer in that city
is at hand. 1t dreams of the young chap
with ambition and vision. The Keokuk
dam is his opportunity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Foxy GRANDp

Grandpa said, "Oh, you chicken!"
But then, it did not matter.
The kind of fowl he had In mind
Was steaming on platter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Roberts for Messenger

Frcm the Clio Free Press.
The electoral college meets in Mont
gomery next week to cast its vote for
Woodrow Wilson. G. Ernest Jones of
Clio represents this district in the col
lege, while it is probable that Hugh Rob-
erts, sporting editor of the Birmingham
Age-Herald and son of Barbour countys
tax collector, Bob Roberts, will be chosen
messenger.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
LINES TO A CHARMER.

There's something in her manner
We say it with regret
That makes us want to spend on her
Most all the coin we get.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The politically wise are now busy con-
structing Wilson cabinets, and Mr.. VIII
son is kept busy denying that these anna
teur cabinet makers will have any hand
in the business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Mr. Chances three-year contract Will
put s10,o0o in his pocket, and that
amount would be satisfactory to any one
outside of 26 Broadway.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Anna Gould is coming TO her sisters
wedding This is her first visit to this
country since she became the Princess
Helle de Sagan. The young Duke de Sa-
gan. born in 1909, will accompany the
prince and princess and will act as
page at the wedding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Mr.. Munsey's holding company will not
hold Colonel Roosevelt. for he says it
will not under any circumstances, and
it may as we'll be dissolved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
BUSY.

When Greedicus was at his meals
He scarcely found the time to mutter,
Say, garcon. waiter, sugar heels,
Step lively now and bring some butter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Good News

From the Pell City Progress.
Jefferson county will shortly put its
convicts TO work ON public roads and
that is the best news we have heard in
many a day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
The Country Prosperou,

During the holiday season we hardly
look for much activity in business, but
in many lines trade has veen very salts
factory within the past 10 days" said
William \. Sadler of Chicago.
Il meet some business men who think
that tariff revision will have a retard-
ing effect on industrial business, but my
idea is that If there is any halting it
will be almost negligible.
Business conditions, generally speak
ing, are absolutely sound, and [ am
expecting high degree of prosperity
during the spring and summer. If crop
reports indicate great harvests this year
we will have boom from one end of
the country to the other with new high
records In the iron and steel trade
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
APPRECIATIvE.

THAT comedian got a big laugh just
now when he called his tall lady partner
long drink of water -
mo wonder. This town is full of pro-
hibitionists.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The woman suffrage parade in Wash
ington March Is either threat or a
promise, and the politicians are puzzled
in their attempts to place 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

1t is generally agreed that playing
baseball at $4,000 year is an excellent
and refreshing sport.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

No ambitious young man should be dis
couraged because Mr.. Morgan says it is
impossible to control the money in the
world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The tallest woman in the world is dead
at Quincy, Ill. She was eight feet four
inches high. She owned a magnificent
country home with all the furniture built
in proportion to her size.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Adrianople is living on cheese. 1t has
a big supply, and it proposes to hold out
Until the last cheese is cut.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Editor Munseys progressveism is to be
subjected to the acid test. Some think
il will not stand it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Sounds Reasonable

From the Selma Journal.
a man in Montgomery was arrested for
stabding on high tower to preach. He
was just trying to get those dear people
to come up on higher plan, maybe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
Conner and the Politicians

From the Greenville Living Truth.
Iix-Governor Conner seems to delight in
puzzling the politicians. Many of them
would know how to lay their lines *
they only knew what Conner intends to
do But he keeps them guessing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Yesterday was election day in this
country. The electors met and presum-
ably elected a president and vice presi-
dent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

In its article on Birmingham's Stag pile
the Mobile Register says: when the
Stag pile was deposited there, it was a
sign of progress and now the taking
away of the Stag pile will be further
sign of progress. Truly, Birmingham is
growing, even il it is yet in backward
state in some respects-the continuing ex-
istence of its deadly grade crossings,
serving as the example"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

There is sorrow in the Bowery, for
Bowery's car, Big Tim Sullivan, is
suffering from softening of the brain.
He rose from the bottom and at one &he
he controlled thirty-two theatres. He is
no longer competent to sit in Congress or
to manage his own affairs. His mind is
gone and the East side mourns the loss
of good friend. -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Fairbanks, Alaska, wants the wireless.
Nothing less, it thinks, can overcome
its snow blockade.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The Los Angeles climate is neither con-
tinuous nor angelic. 1t has its ups and
downs like all other climates.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Japan has agreed not to increase either
her army or her navy, and Captain.
Hobson should lie down for long nap.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
PAssE

"old man Scosgins' oldest girl sayi
she's going on the stage"
What put that notion in her head?"
: Somebody told her sne could WELD
feather duster with airy grace" '
That girl is making a mistake. Tho
soubrette and her feather duster have
been eliminated from the modern DRAMA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Mr.. Munsey writes checks better than
he does political amalgamation schemes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
A JURY OF HIS PEERS

Armageddon itself would repel with in
indignation a holding company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
HARD TO RATTLE

"Pilkins is always calm and self-cor.
tained"
so he is. I wonder what Pilkins would
and yell .Fire.' in his ear?'
He would pi piobably turn round with
unruffled demeanor and say, I trust our
efficient fire department will be able to
extinguish the blaze.'''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
WITH THE TIMES

that morning. and the more he walkeS
the more respondent he got. There were
half dozen barber chairs vacant, with
half dozen BARRIERS idle behind them
Finally the "Dutchman' stopped and ad.
dressing himself 10 the BARRIERS said. Di
wedder is something awful. If bissness
is as goot last week as it is dis, 1 hopt
notl"-C. H. Mandy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

|pearance of a very bowlegged chap
one of those arch-looking chaps you
know
Though total stranger to him. the
fat man slapped the bowlegged chap on
the back and said:
"'By lingo, brother, you look as IL
you'd. been ridin' a barrel
THE bowlegged man smiled and
poked his forefnger deep into the fat
mans soft, loose stomach
And you look as If you'd been swal-
lowin' one, he said"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

The official report of the Panama canal
commission issued on January l, shows
that seven -eighths of the work is COM
pleted. 1t is believed the digging Will
be finished in July, although the Culebra
cut is slipping down and one million ex-
ira cubic yards may be deposited.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
PROPHECY CAME TRUE

Nixon Waterman in National Magazine.
He argued further: "Ner l can't see
What's tn use o wings to humble -bce
Fer to git livin' with more'n to me;
Amt my business
Important's 5 his'n is?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
An Oversight

From the Walker County News.
A college president has located all the
people in this country who descended
from Kings and Queens but he failed to
state how many of them were out of
jail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14
A LINE WITH A "PUNCH'
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
xLr wo lines stick out above all
the others have spoken on
the stage in a rather exten-
sive career-if you want to call 1t that,
Mr.. Ross says and you wonder how ex-
tensive, seeing Mr.. Ross looks to be about
we'll, about 80.
Mr.. Ross chuckles.
"Oh, I'm an old timer, Why l played
with the Kemper Stock company in Kan
sas City when the Coates. Opera house
was the big theater. Played in Uncle
Toms Cabin, too. Kansas City girl in
the same cast-Miss Marie Doro. Say
I'll bet she hasn't told recently that she
was Little Eva in that production, And
James X. Hatchett-he played the auc-
tioneer, and played him as a Jew. L?
Oh. 1 played the Yankee.
But about those lines. One of them
is in this play / have now 1 think it's
the greatest line ever given me to speak.
You know in the first act Tom Brain
ara makes a very rotten start in life;
rich mans only son; too much money;
nothing to do but spend it--loolks like a
pretty bad sort at first. Well, his mother
gets into trouble. Tom hasn't been a
particularly devoted son; Toms sister is
a heartless, ambitious society girl, and
Toms father is cold, grim man of
business affairs. The daughter reproaches
her mother bitterly for the faux pas that
probably will damage her own standing
in society; the father savagely casts off
his wife; tells her she must leave his
house.
well, little old Only Son-the SCALA
vag-hears it ALL Says nothing while his
sister and father are heaping it on his
mother. Waits until they leave the room.
Their he walks over to stand beside his
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS.
A woman In the Senate
May some day make a speech,
And all the men will listen,
Provided she's a peach
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

heart broken mother, sobbing the
divan. And he says
'Wherell we go?
Gould you beat it? It's that boys
whole future and his mother s-com-
pressed and prophesed in three words.
It spells his reformation and her saliva ]
ton. Talk about your psychological mo-
ments-I don't believe any playwright
ever made a line with a greater punch
than that.
Then there's another line in Check
ers.' It's been quoted lot. You re-
member how Checkers picks up Arthur
Kendall and puts him on his feet and
goes home with him and is given a job
in the store and falls in love with Pert
Arthurs girl-and gets fired, and turned
out of the store; and how he sees Ar
thur go across the street and into the
house where Pert lives? And then there's
the cheerful tinkle of mandolin and
Checkers, an outcast, sits down on al
soapbox in the darkening street and
looks up at the lighted windows across
the way and says:
"'Gee, but it's hell to be poorr
And the reason that line carries the
punch is because SO persons in every 100
who heard it have been in some place
or places-where they felt the same way
about it, realized that it was hell to be
poor reckon I'll make 1t an even hum
dred, at that. 1 guess we all have been
there.
But about this laugh business-it isn't
SO much. It's a pleasant thing to be
able to amuse people. But l want to get
deeper than that. Ask any man of 60
to tell you the best laugh he ever had, 7
He can't do it. But ask him what wa1
the darkest day of his life. He knows
that without thinking. The big moments
Of a life are not laughing moments
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald wall
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-H ERAID.
Birmingha Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-14

z L. Morgan and w. G. Wharton are
the only authorized travelling represent
atives of The Age-Herald In its ciriu-
lation department
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1913-09-16
FATHER COMES
FROM THE EAST
TO help son

Determined to stand by his son who
shot and fatally wounded Charles r.
Guertler in hula resort at Kapio-
lani Park some weeks ago, E. H. Mar
shall, father r-of J. w. Marshall, who
is now detained at Oahu prison await
ing trial, arrived in Honolulu on the
Manchuria this morning. having ira
veled the distance from Pennsylvania
to Hawaii that he might come to his
sons defense.
Shortly after his arrival here, Mr..
Marshall visited the Oahu prison in
company with the headworker of the
Palama Settlement, who is said to be
a close friend of the young man. Mr..
Marshall was allowed to see his SON
and spent more than an hour in the
cell, The meeting between father
and son was touching. All efforts to
locate the father this morning were
futile, but it was stated by friends
that he will remain in Honolulu until
after the trial when, If his son is ac-
quilted, he will try and induce him
to return to the family home in Penn
sylyania