davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
UNDERSTOOD ART or DINING
Gourmet Paid for His Elaborate Din.
ner, Though at That Time He
Didn't Know It.

That skill in the art of choosing
a dinner can stand one in good stead
was experienced the other day by a
gentleman in Liverpool, Eng. 1t
appears that a millionaire from the
United States walked into one of the
leading hotels in the city and said
to the manager: Tomorrow ! want
the best dinner that your establish
ment can produce. | want to show
to some friends what England can
do in the way of a dinner"
The manager was at a loss to know
what to do, but remembering the
man who made the art of dining a
hobby, he sought him out and said,
"Our company will esteem it an
honor and a pleasure if you will dine
tomorrow at their expense. You will
select your own dinner, and all they
ask Of you is that you will choose
the best menu that your experience
dictates, regardless of expense"
The gentleman in question accept
ed the invitation, and next day gave
his order for the dinner. 1t was
served to him in the dining-room,
and the same dinner was served in
the private room to the millionaire
and his friends. The latter unani-
mously confessed that they never
had realized to what a pitch of per-
lection the art Of dining could be
brought in any English hotel.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
HERS WAS THE RULING SPIRIT
Jim 5aggs Had the Physical Strength,
but Little Woman the Domi.
mating Brain.

He gave palpable evidence of
weighing at least 24O, and he tow
cred six feet four inches into the air.
He looked as if the champion heavy
weight Of the prize ring might go
down before him like a reed before
the wind. BY his side stood a little
woman of five feet ten and possible
ninety pounds in weight. She had
the meek look of a woman who had
borne much. While they waited for
their car on a corner a passerby
heard the giant say:
"Can't you let me have a quarter,
Jennie? ?"
Jennie's voice cut the air like a
blade as she said:
"Now, see here, Jim Baggs, didn't
| tell you before we left home that
ten cents was all l intended you
should have to spend? l sure did,
an | should think you had been mar
ried 10 me long enough to know that
when l say a thing l mean i'll 1
think | see you havin' a whole quar-
ter to fool away on seegars an such
stuff! Now you make any more fuss
and you'll stay at home the next time
| come to town ~-Judge.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
Ice Cream and Ices.

Delivered to any part of the
town. Vanilla cream $1.00 a
gallon, Chocolate cream $1.20 a
gallon, Fruit cream $l.30 a gal
lon, Brick cream so cents a
brick. Five gallons or more
less money per gallon. Watch
for the wagon and listen for
the bell, will sell in town nearly
every day. Try my cream once,
if not good tell ne. l want
your trade, and / will treat you
right. Phone your wants to 694.
Also good pasture for stock.
Phone your wants to 694.
G. H. NEER
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
If Hairs Your Pride, Use Her.
picide.

A feeling Of uncertainty, a
dread of possible disappointment
always goes with an "off brand
hair preparation. That is part
Of the purchase, just as much so
as the label on the bottle.
You don't get this with a bot
tie Of Newbro's Herpicide. It
is not an experiment. You num-
Der among your acquaintance
and friends hundreds who have
used Herpicide with satisfaction,
and you know that you can do
the same. The results are
always positive.
For the removal of dandruff
and to check falling hair New
bros Herpicide is reliable and
o1ten producing results that are
little short of marvellous.
Newbro's Herpicide in so cent
and $1.0O sizes is sold by all
dealers who guarantee it to do
all that is claimed. If you are
not satisfied your money will be
rounded. Crenshaw & Young,
Special Agents.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
MAKING A RAISE.

"Doctor, l want to become so I
can raise a great weight. Can you
get me that way?"
"Gues8 so; but your physique is
rather slight at present"
81 know it is. l thought maybe I
could raise a little at first, and work
up"
eyes; We'll have to go at it gradu-
ally; take a long course Of treat
nent."
"All right, doctor. What shall l
raise to start with ?"
Better raise 5000, l guess"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
A5sENT-MINDED.

Following a meeting Of a woman's
club recently, several young North
side matrons were discussing their
husbands.
"Jack is 70 absent-minded," said
one, chat l frequently have to find
his hat for him"
That's nothing" said another,
"the other day l noticed Harry look
ing through the city directory for
the definition of a word."-Youngs-
town Telegram.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
NO MORE LOSSES.

slows your chicken farm?'
"Say, Pm glad you asked me. You
know, l told you it was mostly outgo,
with mighty little coming in? Well,
I haven't lost a dollar on the outfit
for q month or more"
"Fine. How does it happen?'
"SOme thoughtful c~oopbreaker
stole all the chickens" cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
roo EASILY

"You want your name changed, do
YOU? What is your objection to
Blackwell Arnold Moore'?"
"Your honor, about half the let
tiers | get come addressed to Black
amore-and Pm as white a man as
your honor isl"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
SURE SIGN.

One day a teacher was having a
first grade class in physiology. She
asked them if they know that there
was a burning fire in the body all
The time. One little girl spoke up
and said:
"Yes'em, when it is a cold day l
can see the smoke. National
Monthly.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
VARIETY.

"What a relief it is to get into the
country"
EYES," replied Farmer Corntossel,
"Folks is allus wantin' a change. l
feel like gettin' to town sometimes
an bein' chased by an automobile
instid Of a bull"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11

Mr.. and Mrs. c. Z. Yingling
went to Kansas City Friday
morning for a visit. TO-
Misses Anna Mars and Marie
Bishop went to Kansas City Fri
day morning for a visit.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
HAD ONE.

81 should think you would get you
a nice runabout ?"
give got one. She's in this store
selecting a hat right now"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
Ag2EsH WATER
BUCOANEEP
Nusr7l'onge, Natural Enemy
OF All Fishes, Is Mighty Game
md Loves Deep Lakes
or Swift Running
Streams.

Streams.
The muskallonge has been call
ed the bu.caneer of the fresh.
'gttf. He loves deep. cool
iak.s or swift, clear running
1a-ss He IS built for swifness
I'd offensive warfare. He is
The natural enemy Of all fishes,
fierce and dauntless marauder.
lie feeds on his own kind as
.s5dily as ON any other species.
Just why the muskallonge
should strike at the nondescript
t cIl of the fisherman no man
aows, any more than he knows
by the trout or salmon rises to
Nv that looks not at all like a
fly 1t has been argued by
1uskaIlonge wise persons that he
ttackS it in a fit Of anger, a
spell Of uncomfortable temper
aroused by the intrusion Of the
,2ieet upon his sight while he
is lying in wait for prey to come
that way.
According to this belief the
auskailonge, thus intent, is at
tlacted by the shadow of the
fisherman's boat as it steals
along on the surface over his
l2rking place, and he cooks his
eye up at it disapproyingly. Soon
the glitter of the spoon on the
,heiman's line comes along.
That is too much. 1t is like
the waving of a red flag at a
bull. Instantly he rushes up
d strikes it. Whatever may
prompt this dash of the muskal-
longe on the fisherman's troll,
when he strikes it and turns to
cash back to his lair with the big
books in his jaw it is as with the
temper Of Satan, and the result
L'g grapple with him by the fish
elman is something to write epics
about.
The Great Lakes are the nat
ural home of this mighty game
fish, and there are traditions Of
muskallonge weighing 100 pounds
having been taken from those
waters. The greatest range of
angling muskallonge waters is in
the States Of Minnesota and Wis
ctnsin, and the wonderful chain
OF lakes upward through Canada.
1t is a singular fact that there
are no muskallonge in the Adj
ndack waters. There are
muskallonge haunts, however,
V thin easy reach of the Eastern
Observation-Disclosures Lake, from
which the pioneer muskaIlOnge of
the Mississippi basin emigrated
by way of Conewango Creek and
aud the Allegheny River; Niagara
River, than which there is no bet
ter muskallonge water anywhere
and the st. Lawrence River.
Along toward the middle Of
July a curious thing happens to
muskallonge. His teeth fall out.
A sort OF plscatorlal Riggs dis
ease seems to attack him. Nat
urally he loses flesh in the tooth
less season. and his inability to
enjoy any Of the good things that
swim about him increases the
savagery of his temper.
With the coming of September
he has cut an entire new set of
teeth, and they are like knife
blades set up on edge in his
jaws. Then he takes on new
vigor, righteousness and aggress-
iyeness, with the memory of
weeks of pent up fury and unap-
pcased appetite to avenge. And
then comes the anglers best OPP
pcrtunity with him.-New York
Gtrp
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
c

"Does Mrs. Plimber shine in 30
cietyP"
"She does when she forgets to pow
der her nose"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
BETTER FOR THEM.

"Some of these convicts, Mr.. War
den, have a very smooth manner"
"That's all the better for them, for
if they're not smooth, we iron them"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
VAGUE.

"Is it true that birds of a feather
always flock together"
"Well, that may be a matter Of a
pinion."
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
Irs srArua.

whats become of the AnaniAs
club2"
"Its lying low"
"But still lyingr"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
PARADOX.

"I'd like to give you some beauty
wrinkles"
81 didn't know there were such
things"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
PROVIDING.

He-Don't you think the plain
truth in a photograph is bestP
She-Not if the truth is too plain.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11
For Rent.

After June LIST the Stramcke
resi- lence IN E. Main. Call Ed
Aull.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1913-07-11

Outskirts-You should live out in
my neighborhood the breeze is fine,
and
Knowton-The mud is deep.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
Members Parish Democratic Execu-
tive Committee.

Members Parish Democratic Execu-
tive Committee.
First Ward-R. W. Newell. Newell
ton: F. L. Guthrie. Nctnac P. o.
Second Ward-Louis Buckner, New
elton: r. Y. Newell. Newellton.
Third Ward-A. f. Green. st. Jo-
seph: Louis Buckner Jr., St. Joseph.
Fourth Ward-R. B. Lynch, New
Light: P. c. Smith. Delta Bridge.
Fifth Ward-D. H. O'Kelley, Ash
wood: B. F. McVay. Ashwood.
Sixth Ward-G. c. Goldman, Gold
man P. o.; Allan Shelton, Waterproof.
Seventh ward-D. F. Miller. Cold
man: f. D. Coleman, Highland.
At Large-Joseph Curry, st. Jo-
seph: w. NJ. Davidson, st. Joseph;
John Hughes. st. Joseph; DR.. X. B.
Mcmillan, Point Pleasant; John Muir
doch, Newellton.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

, from him, you have another seem
coming. I'm strictly In favor Of pro-
viding for a rainy day, auntie, but I
think If one has an umbrella and rain
coat and rubbers in the hall closet,
one may feel reasonably assured. l
don't believe IN going around In q
scanty bathing suit all the time In an.
ticipation of a flood. I'm told that
Mr.. Stintwell tries to get a cash dis
count when he buys a postage stamp.
but that may be exaggerated. He
might try to get a little concession II
he bought five dollars worth in q
lump, however"
do you really think that he is at
tracted by your money, Melissa?"
asked Aunt Jane.
He isn't repelled," Mrs. Merriwid
answered. Il think he imagines my
bonds might be a bond of sympathy
between US, but he intends to be fair.
His idea is a partnership. He'd be
Willing to take me In on the ground
floor, as 1t were, and when we drew
up our chairs to go over our accounts
In the evening, he wouldn't charge me
up with anything that wasn't right. II
he ate a light breakfast, he'd prob
ably expect a rebate, and he'd want
me to debit myself with the sugar /
used for making fudge, which wouldn't
be more than just; but he'd be
willing to bear proper proportion Of
the household expenses, IL you left 1t
to him what a proper proportion was.
Well, that isn't what want, exactly,
dearie. want to feel at liberty to
sign up with the agent of a patent
washing machine, II need one, with
out having to dispose of my electric
brougham to meet the installments.
There's current impression that Mr.
Stintwell has feathered his nest, but /
don't take any stock in that He'd
take his feathers to the nearest pillow
factory and get the highest market
price for them every time, dearie. But
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

to. What would it profit me to marry
a case Of chronic grip like that, sweet
heart? If he is worth million, which
! don't doubt In the least, you can rest
assured that he'll never be rated at
nine hundred and ninety-nine thous-
and, nine hundred and ninety-nine on
account of his wife's extravaganza.
When he repeats that little clause in
the marriage service about endowing
the blushing bride with all his world
ly goods, he'll have his fingers cross
ed. No, beloved, If l were to marry
for mercenary considerations, I'd pick
a horny-headed structural iron work
er, with a good-sized life and accident
policy, who'd turn over his weekly
pay check to me every Saturday night,
and leave the question of beer money
to my sense of justice. Mr.. Stintwell
has been looking out for the main
chance so long and hard that he's suf-
fering severely from eye strain. Did
you know he had invited me to go
with him to see the sub-treasury?
Il should think that would be very
interesting" said Aunt Jane.
Extremely So" agreed Mrs. Merri-
wild, sarcastically. II suppose they let
you feast your delighted eyes ON bars
OF gold bullion and let you hold mil
non-dollar bill in each hand. That
would be almost as satisfactory as
gloating over your husbands rating in
Bradstreet just after he's emitted a
stentorian roar because somebody has
left the light switched on in the bath
room. But he means kindly, and
think he intends to pay my carfare
both ways. Only I'm not going"
you will have your own way of
course. my DEAR" said Aunt Jane, "but
it seems to me that II a gentleman
pays a lady marked attention with
the obvious design of matrimony, and
is so wealthy as to be above suspicion
of any nlercenary motive, the object
of bis admiration might be reasonably
assured of liberal treatment"
1T depends on the gentleman who is
paying the marked attention, dearie."
replied Mrs. Merriwid. "If the gentle
man is not a liberal gentleman and
the lady has to employ q pneumatic
drill and a stick of dynamite to jar a
niOkie loose enough to wrench away
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
=. & A. M.

Masonic lodge meets at Newellton
first Wednesday.
Masonic lodge meets at st. Joseph
on second Tuesday.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
MELISSA WOULD NOT TOLERATE
A TIGHTWAD.

Mrs. Merriwid picked her pearl ear
studs from her dressing table and con-
templated them thoughtfully as they
lay in her rosy palm. Il wonder II
they would really dissolve in vinegar" !"
she murmured, and what effect
they would have on a persons tummy
in that form. I've a great mind to
try it."
Her maternal maiden aunt Jane,
who was buttoning her down the back,
asked her what in the land she was
talking about. you are getting real
fieshy, Melissa" she added, as she
hooked the girdle with some slight diff
1culty. do you know it?"
NO, dearie," replied Mrs. Merriwid,
~and / don't want to know IT, II you
don't mind. They say vinegar emaci-
ates one," she continued refectively,
but wasn't thinking of that. l was
wondering II Mr.. Stintwell wouldn't
fall dead II took that sort Of a
Cleopatra cocktail in his presence. II
he knew they were worth two hun
dred and fifty dollars, I'm pretty GER
tain he would. But then, I'd have to
bother with the coroner and haven't
got decent picture of myself that I
could give the newspaper reporters, so
I'll compromise by telling him that
he's wasting his breath. He doesn't
like to waste anything, so that ought
to stop him"
Aunt Jane made a clucking sound
indicative of impatience. 'Tf you re-
fuse Mr.. Stintwell, you're a very fool
ish woman. That's all I've got to
say" she remarked. HE must be
worth over a million dollars"
Have you ever noticed how short
he keeps his finger nails, auntie?"
Mrs. Merriwid asked, That's to pre-
vent them running into the palms OF
his hands. He's so close listed he has
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
On the Value Of Rare Old Coins.


around practically every battered
old coin treasured in the pocket of a
baggy pair of pants" philosophically
remarked the Erratic Thinker, there
hangs a hallucinatory halo in the
form of a tradition that there is a
large premium on it and that 1t will
fetch a considerable sum over and
above its face value. Nobody knows
the size of the premium, who makes
the offer or how it is to be collected,
but the faith, as answering as the
justly celebrated laws of the late
Medes and Persians and as beautiful
as it is pathetic, exists, that somehow,
somewhere, some sweet when, that
faithful old coil will bring its owner
a considerable fortune. This markedly
resembles the faith of the average old
fashioned party man that at some
time his favorite congressman, for
whom he has rooted and voted and
rent his raiment. will do something for
him.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
synopsis Of Game Laws-op.n Sea-

Synopsis of Game Laws-open Sea-
son.
/. Doves-From September 1 to
March I.
2. Wood or Summer Ducks-Sep-
tember l to March 1.
3. Teal Ducks-September IL to
April /.
4. River Ducks-October to
March 10.
5. Coots or Poule D'eau-October
l to March Is.
6. Geese or Brant-october 1 TO
March 15.
z. Snipe-September IS to April 1.
8. Turkey cocks only)-Novsm-
ber to April Is.
9. Quail--November Is to March
Is.
10. Robins-November Is to March
Is.
II. Deer Ducks only)-october I
to January 1.
Limit of Bags IN a Day:
25 ducks.
Is of all other game birds.
2 bucks, and not more than five IN
a season.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

| know there's much in me personally
that he admires."
What, for instance?" inquired Aunt
Jane.
Mrs. Merriwid thought for a mo-
ment. well, there's my golden hair" !"
she replied, "and my silvery laughter
and my sterling sense, not to speak
Of my pearly teeth and ruby lips. My
voice has rich tones, you know, and
have a large fund of humor and cap
ital spirits, and you were just saying
that had an affluent figure"
You're quite treasure" said Aunt
Jane.
"All of that" replied her niece, Sc
renely. But can tell you I'm not go
ing to be buried by a man who is
congenitally unable to dig up
Copyright. 1913. by w. G. Chapman.)
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

Sixth Ward-Magistrate J. H. Sea-
man, Waterproof: constable, John d.
Shelton, Waterproof.
Seventh Ward--Magistrate, r. d.
Coleman; constable, -.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
School Board.

SchooI Board.
First Ward-M. w. Bland, Point
Pleasant.
Second Ward-Robert Y. Newell,
Newellton.
Third ward--w. ]. steen, St Jo-
seph.
Fourth Ward-P. C. Smith. Delta
Bridge.
Fifth ward-J. c. Ellis.
Sixth Ward-W. d. A. Gorton, Wa
terproof.
Seventh Ward-D. F. Miller, Gold
man p. o.
Secretary School Board and Super
intendent Education = Thomas M.
Wade, Nevellton.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
Notable Exception.

"Ah! my friend" said the man who
was fond of moralizing, 'it is true that
we can really accomplish nothing until
the crooked has been made straight
-
"Of course" interrupted the man In
the loud clothes, you except cork
screwsf"-Catholic Standard Time&
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
District Court.

District Judge-John Dale, Vidalia.
District Attorney-Abner e. Green,
ST. Joseph.
Terms of Court-The terms Of the
District Court in the parish OF Tensas
are hereby fixed as follows, to-wit:
Jury Terms-Third Mondays in
April and October.
Civil Terms-Third Mondays In
January, February, March, May, June,
July, November and December.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
NUMBER 10
Religious Notices.

Rev. P. H. Fontalne. pastor n. n
church. holds services at Wesley
chapel on morning and afternoon Of
first Sunday, and at the Union
church. st. Joseph, on the night q
the first Sunday and morning and
night OF the third Sunday.
Rev. Father Degnan Of vidalia says
mass at the Catholic chapel. St Jo-
seph, once a month. following an
nouncement.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

Fifth Ward-Magistrate d. H.
o'Kelley, Ashwood; constable.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07

Magistrates and constabIes.
First Ward - Magistrate, M. W.
Bland, Point Pleasant; constable,
Second Ward-Magistrate. Louis
Ruekner. Newellton; constable, L. X.
Fu1tz, Nswellton.
Third Ward = Magistrate. f. F..
Newell. st. Joseph; constable, John
r. Smitha, ST. Joseph.
Fourth sWard-Magistrate. B. Y.
Berry, Delta Bridge; constable,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
Town Of St. Joseph.

Mayor-W. NJ. Davidson.
Clerk-Abner e. Green.
Town Treasurer-R. Fl. Whitney.
Aldermen = Joseph Curry. B. F.
Young, Louis Buckner Jr., Oscar
Levy, e. J. Walton.
Board meets first Tuesday in each
month at office Of the mayor.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
Members Police Iun!

mempSTS FollCe jury.
First Ward-F. L. Guthrie, Notnac
p. o.
Second Ward-John D. Fultz, New
elton.
Third ward-F. H. Curry. St Jo-
seph.
Fourth Ward-Robert B. Lynch.
New Light.
Fifth Ward-B F. McVay, Ashwood.
Sixth Ward-Louis T. Hunter, Wa
terproof
Seventh Ward-Wm. A. Register,
Clayton p o.
Clerk-R. H. Whitney. st. Joseph.
The Police Jury for Tensas parish
meets first Monday in March, June,
July, October and December, at st,
Joseph, at ~ o'clock m.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-03-07
rsNsAs PARIS. DIRECTORY.

Sheriff-John Hughes.
Clerk Of Court-Joseph' Curry.
Assessor-A. Bondurant.
Treasurer-W. NJ. Davidson.
Parish Surveyor-John Johnson.
Game Warden-Charles Johnston.
Coroner-Dr, ]. G. Lilly.
Health Officer-Dr. L. A. Murdock
Members House Representatives
John Murdoch and S. w. Martien.