South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1913-09-30

ATdDelld Will not appear IN the tx
position parade. She is ashamed of
her old bonnet.
Ed. Pfeiffer. the bugaboo of the
Eagle lake bluegill, is on the grand
jury.
Will Mack removed the radiator
from his automobile for repairs He
admits. however. he doesn't have
much success trying to drive the car
without it.
Howard Pruyne, when asked to tell
about the biggest fish he caught last
summer, advises us he didn't catch it.
Hiram Kreighbaum is an applicant
for membership in the Commercial
Athletic club, one of the Oldest and
most prominent of the city's social
organizations.
William Mes, republican candidate
for city clerk, snatched a half holi-
day Saturday afternoon and motored
up to Diamond lake. then turned
around and came right back again.
Boston Ampolopsis is reported in
our midst. Lock your doors.
Noel Dunbar confesses that abso-
lutely nothing exciting has happened
to him lately. When last seen he was
proceeding east on Washington av.,
advancing one foot after the other in
the customary manner.
Gene Warner smokes a handbook
ing pipe with high voltage and a
wide operating radius.
Charles Frazier and party drove to
Hudson lake TO pepper cOOts last
week. In point of nourishm>St we
understand the North American coot
is about on a par with a hot water
bottle.
Joe Williams and the Missus spent
the weekend at Diamond lake Joe
says he would rather fish than eat.
and adds that he is powerful attach
ed to his meals"
Ike Hutchins has finally produced
a Casaba melon. 1t is a discouraged
looking critter with its pale green.
puckered-up hide and although we'll
developed does not at all conform to-
native born Hoosier's idea of what
an orthodox melon should be. How
ever, ii does not ripen until some
months after ii has been plucked and
Ike assures US that il will be as sweet
as a nut. So, one cannot always tell
from where he sits just what's be-
hind the skin.
Shady Campbell is seriously con-
templating the purchase Of set Of
automobile Jacks The consideration
is said to be $3.50.
Drs. Baker and Shanklin at this
very minute are in the old country
presumably Misunderstanding how TO
operate on backward clients for large
fostering masses of greenbaclls so po
litely that the patient will not even
complain of slight tickling seItation.
Joe Bray. Of the Grayce ScoS play
ers, keeps his mind on the race and
attends performances at other the
aters whenever he has an opportUn-
ity. Observed from across the foot
lights, Joe seems TO take great pleas
ure III his work.
Emmett Woolverton has been dem
onstrating just how far one can go
with an automobile without getting
busted UP. In turning around in a
west end street near a cellar excaVa-
ton recently the steering gear Jambed
and the car shot over into the pit.
Fortunately the rear wheels of the
machine hooked over an exposed gas
main on the way down and left the
machine suspended in mid-air. MIR.
WoOlvertOn escaped without so much
as having his hair mussed. and there
fore thinks very kindly OF that gas
main. Had il not been for that gas
main. more likely than not Mr.. Wool
verton would have had a Very good
impression Of a very bad car stamped
all over his south elevation.
VIII Lamport. the energetic adver-
Using man OF the Ellsworth store,
shattered precedent last Thursday by
arising at $50 and Skinned out TO
Hudson lake 10 fish for perch or any
thing else that would consent 70 be
hooked. He returned in due time with
string of eight fishes. every one OF
which was considerably larger than a
firSt-class nickel cigar.
A Capt. VI. A. Shuey. said 10 be the
South Bend representative for a De-
troit motor car company. is alleged TO
have sold an automobile 10 a Mr..
Remly. reported to be the postmaster
Of Granger. Mich.
Daniel Gise. formerly OF this city. |
is operating a concession at successive
county fairs in this vicinity.