The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-31
From the Boston Post.

IOll the ooolon oSi
Everybody knows DIR. Crutch Wood
inson. He is the worlds greatest ex-
ploder of beliefs. and has the enviable
reputation of being able to jump on to
any lecture platform at a moments no.
tice and blow any accepted belief in the
matters of health and hygiene higher
than the Ames building. When he gets
through shattering belief, his shat
tering will have been so thorough that
the pieces will fill 10 baskets. This
paper has been fortunate enough to OBJ
tain Doctor Woodinson's services, and
from time to time he will take falls out
of some of our oldest and best estab-
lished beliefs.
" HERE is general belief that
smoking is injurious. There
i was a time when / thought so
myself; but ever since 1907, when sta
tistics were published showing that
over rs per cent of the male population
of the United States were users of to-
bacce in some form or another, 1 have
held the opinion that smoking was most
beneficial
Contrary to the general belief, smok-
heart, lungs. liver, biceps. eyebrows and
teeth. 1t aids the digestion and puts
a severe orimp in many diseases before
they have chance to show themselves.
On several occasions l have been about
to come down with such serious disaf-
fections as scarletina, mumps, Morton's
Toe, dandruff or pip, when / have be-
come aware that the germs of these
diseases were being combated by the
tobacco smoke in my system Without
the smoke, I would probably have been
dead man long ago. am a confirmed
cigarette smoker, and allow no day to
pass without smoking at least two and
one-half boxes of - cigarettes.
Germs haven't a chance in the world
when they bump up against a cloud Of
tobacco smoke. All germs, moreover
dwell in the mouth. I do not need to
tell you that there are 100000 germs
in the mouth at all times, because the
fact is too well known. Can you imagine
then, the slaughter which takes place
when the smoker takes good drag on
his cigar or cigarette? The interior of
the mouth begins to look like an abat-
toir on busy afternoon, on account of
the large number of germs which at
once kick the bucket. Nonsmokers
have the same number of germs in
their mouths, of course. The reason
dreadful disease is because they are
naturally lucky.
Some people will want to know why
it is that tobacco smoke does not in
jure the human system il it is so in
furious to germs. This makes me
laugh. The people that ask such ques-
tions show plainly that they know
nothing about germs, and probably
never saw one in their lives. / will,
therefore, explain the matter in words
of one syllable. in order that they may
whom don't know nearly as much as
do. Generally speaking, germ has
no eyelids on his eyes. He does not
have them because at the time when
he was created tobacco had not been
discovered. and it was not thought that
he would need any eyelids.
When, therefore, tobacco was discov-
cred and the germs began to run up
against tobacco smoke, their eyes wat
cred terribly. In fact. they watered to
such an extent that every germ which
encountered tobacco smoke drowned in
his own tears This is one of the
strangest facts in the medical profess
sion. Were it not for his lack of eye
lids, the germ would not be bothered by
the tobacco smoke. The eyes are the
only spot which are affected.
Now, as many of you know, practical
ly all human beings have eyelids. When
therefore, a human being encounters a
large amount of tobacco smoke, he
closes his eyelids and the smoke does
not affect his eyes. I have proved to
my own satisfaction that If human
being should have his eyelids propped
apart, and should be placed in her.
metically sealed room which was filled
with tobacco smoke, his eyes would
water to such an extent that he would
soon strangle in his own tears.
There are very few animals which
live to any great age. Most animals,
however, have eyelids; and II they were
taught to smoke, l have no doubt. but
what their lives would be prolonged to
a remarkable degree. Not so with
fishes, however. Fishes do not have
eyelids.
50. II they should take UP smoking.
4 + a