Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-03-21

about this here hallseat. My wife thinks
| its a fake What is its history. and
what sort of guaranty can YOU
| A fake l cried in dismay. My dear
Mr.. Rocksworth. that is the very hall
| seat that Pontius PLATE sat in when
| waiting for an audience with the first of
the great Teutonic barons. The treaty
| between the Romans and the Teutons
| was signed on that table over there-the
one you have SO 'judiciously selected, 1
| perceive. OF course, you know that this
| was the Saxon seat OF government.
| Charlemagne lived here with all his
| court
They tried not TO look impressed; but
| rather overdid il.
That's the sort of story YOU fellows
always put on. you skinfints from Bos-
ton said Rocksworth. shrewdly.
/ Riley erkheimer walked past me to
| take a closer look at the seat, almost
| treading on my toes rather than give
| an inch to me. How. can you prove
that it's the genuine article?" he de-
manded, CURLY.
You have my word for it. SIR
| said
.'Pish tush.' said he
Rocksworth turned in the direction of
the banquet hall Carrie" he shouted.
Come here a minute. Will your
| A minute later three females appeared
| on the scene, all of them busting their
hands and curling their noses in disgust
" / never saw such dirty place. said
| the foremost. large lady. 1t S filthy
| What do YOU want?'
! I've bought this thing here for sew
enty-ffve dollars. You SAID l couldn't get
it for nickel under thousand. And. say.
| this man tells me the hallseat here be-
longed to Pontius Plate in
Pardon me-. / interrupted, Il merely
said that he sat in it. l an, not trying
| to deceive you, sir
And the treaty. was signed on this
| table, said Riley-W erlzheimer. lie adj
dressed himself to plump yong lady
with a twenty -two-inch vast. "Maude,
what do you know about the Roman
| Teutonic treaty? Wen catch YOU now,
| my friend" he went on. turning to me.
My daughter is up in ancient history.
She's an authority
Miss Maude appeared 10 be rac,ling her
brain. | undertook to assist her.
| Il mean the second treaty. after the
fall of Nuremberg" l explained.
oh. she said instantly relieved. 'Was
it really signed here, right here in this
hall? Oh. father, we must have that ia
ble.'
Buy it. Orson," said his wife, with
authority We'll take a chance on it. If
it isn't the right thing can sell it to
the secondhand dealers What's the
price,
A thousand dollars to you. madam"
They We're at once suspicious. AS they
were busily engaged in looking the seat
over as the porters shifted it about at
all angles / stepped over and ordered my
Workmen to resume their operations.
/ was beginning to be sour and angry
again. having missed my coffee. From
| the culinary regions there assembled
horrific odor of fried onions. If there is
one thing l really resent 1t is a fried
| onion.
| / do not know why l should have felt
the way l did about it on this occasion,
but l am mean enough now to confess
that l hailed the triumphal entry OF
that. pernicious odor with meannsss Of
spirit that leaves nothing to be explain
ed.
Good gracious.' gasped the aristocrat-
ic Ms Riley Werkheimer, holding her
nose do YOU smell that?
Onions, Ny Gawd.' shifted Maude.
| How | hate emf
Rocksworth forgot his dignity. Hate
'em?" ne cried. his eyes rolling. Il just
love 'em.''
"Orson. said his wife, glaring at him,
what will people think of you?'
Il like 'em, too" admitted Riley-Werk-
! heimer, perceiving at once who she
meant by people
At that instant the carpenters, plumb
ers and stonemasoas resumed their in
fernal racket. while scrubwomen, polish
err. and Painters began to move intimate
ly among US.
"Here." roared Rocksworth. stop this
bsastly noise. What the deuce do you
mean, sir, permitting these scoundrels to
raise the dead like this? ConfOund EN-!
l stopped them once. Here, ct up on
| that. will your
I moved forward apologetically. Il am
afraid it is not onions you smell, ladies
and gentlemen" I had taken my cue
with surprising quickness. They are
raising the dead. The place is fairly
alive with dead rats and
Good Lord" gasped Riley-Werkheim-
en- Well get the bubon:c plague here
"Oh. 1 know onions said Rochsworth
calmly. Cant fool me on onions. They
are onions. aren't they, Carrier
They are! said she. What a pity to
have this wonderful old castle actually de-
| at NV on n
| crime, ! should think the owner would
turn over in his grave
| "Unhappily l am the owner. madame, :
said l. slyly working my foot back into
an elusive slipper.
You ought to be ashamed of YOURSELF:
she said, eying me ccldly.
Il am" said l. You quite took be my
surprise. | should have made myself
more presentable if / had known"
We'll, let's move on upstairs. said
Rocksworth. Addressing the porters. he
said: You fellows get this lot of stuff
together and I'll take an option on it.
I'll be over tomorrow to close the deal.
MIMI. Now where is the old Flor
entine mirror the count was telling us
| about?''
The COUNT, said 1, 1frowning;. ;.
Yes. the real owner. You can't stuff
me with your talk about being the pro-
prietor here. my friend. You see, we
| happen to know the count
They all condescended to laugh al me. I
done if at that moment there had not ap-
peared in the lower hail lanky youth
Of eighteen. He was a loUd-voiced, i'm
perious soft of chap, with at least three
rolls to his trousers, and a plum-colored
cap.
Say, these clubs are the real stuff, all
right, all right. They're as brittle as
glass. See what / did to EN-. We can
have 'en spliced and rewound and III
hang en- on my wall. All l want is the
heads, anyhow
He held up to view headless midiron
and brassy, and triumphantly waved a
splendid cleek Ny favorite clubs.
The situation was no longer humorous.
/ could put up with anything but the
misha milling of my devoted golf clubs.
Striding up to him, I snatched the rem
nants from his hands.
You Internal cub / roared. Haven t
you any more sense than to smash a
golf club like that? For two cents I'd
break this putter over your head.
Father" he yelled Indignantly, who
is this mucker?''
Rocksw orth bounced toward me, his
cane raised
l whirled upon him.
How dare your he shouted.
The ladies squealed.
nightly mistaken. My blood was up.
1 advanced.
Paste him, dad! roared Harold.
But Rocssworth suddenly altered his
course and put the historic treaty table