The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-08-12

! lt t'''il idotluiS Id just oScIl
returned. and the usual struggle to
identify their respective belongings
was on. That's my shirt" insisted
the elder brother, who worked in a
printing adjustment. Il can tell
by that ink spot"
"Pshaw'' exclaimed the younger
brother, who worked in a lumber
yard, Il suppose, in order to be mine.
il would have to have slivers in it,
Judge.
The most amazing railway incl
dent ! ever witnessed happened when
/ was on a limited express in Penn
S~HiVanla,' relates n globe trotter.
"A new fiagman, whose hours OF
duty were supposed to terminate at Z
o'clock. had been stationed at a cross
ing which the limited was timed to
pass at Sos.
on this particular night the train
was late. At about twelve minutes
past he hour the gateman heard it
IN the distance. and planted himself.
red lantern in hand, in the middle of
the track of the limited.
The driver was trying to make up
lost time. and the train was speeding,
hut he brought it to a standstill at
the first wave of the red light. He
jumped off his engine and ran ahead
WV i''' ''h ~ nv "a SUBSTANTIAL,
"'What made YOU signal?' he de-
manded angrily, seeing no evidence of
danger.
What kept ye:' was the angry
retort."
Mother (to Willie, entering the
house weeping)-"What's the matter,
Willie?"
The hoy across the way hit me-"
he replied.
oh. we'll, l wouldn't cry for that"
h returned. Show that YOU can he
a little man."
Il amt CRYING for that" he retort-
ed.
Then what are you crying for"
He ran into the house before 7
could get at him"
Sir. could You give me a little as
~sistance?" said the weary w%ayfarer.
II don't know where my next meal is
coming from"
Neither do l." replied the prosper.
~ looking individual. MY cook ie.t
this morning, too"
\ man complained to his doctor re-
Gently that every time he bent for
ward slightly and held out his arms
horizontally. waving them around in
a small circle. he felt a sharp pain in
his left shoulder blade.
WELL snorted the doctor. "whv
the dickens do you want to do such q
contortion act?"
Glow else is a man to put his over
coat on, doctor ?"-Harper's Weekly.
Elihu Root tells a story about him.
self and his efforts to correct the
manners of his office hoy. One morn
ing the Young autocrat came into the
office and. tossing his car at a hook.
exclaimed:
Say. Mr.. Root. there's a hall game
down at the park today and I want
to go down"
Now. the great lawyer was willing
that the boy should go, but thought
he would teach him a little lesson IN
good manners.
James" he said. that isn't the
way to ask a favor. Now. you sit
down in my chair and I'll show YOU
how to do it PROPERLY"
The boy took the office chair ana
his employer picked up his cap ana
stepped outside. He then opened the
door softly and. holding the cap in his
hand. said quietly to the small boy
in the big chair:
please, sir, there is a hall game at
the park today; if YOU can spare me
J "'u!a IKE 10 sel away lOr the AFTER
noon"
In a fash the boy responded:
why. certainly, Jimmie: and here
is 30 cent to buy your way in."-The
Ladies' Home Journal.
Young man." said the fond IA
Their. in giving you M daughter
have intrusted You with the dearest
treasure Of my life"
Tho 1-niInr =, n ~ NO J,t. :~------,
Then. during the few moments of i'm
pressive silence that followed, he
heard the patter of rain against the
window pane.
Gracious me-" he exclaimed. cts
raining and I haven't my umbrella.
May ! borrow yours to get to the sta
tom"
Young man" aid the fond parent,
II wouldn't trust anybody on eartn
With my umbrella"
Ihere are endless numbers of cor-
respondents who would like to make
the excuse given by A youth who was
passing his first year at boarding
school.
The first letter was anxiously await
) ed by his loving parents. When il
came, ON time after his arrival. II
read thus:
Dear parents, I hardly think I will
be able to send you many letters
while here. You see. when things are
happening I haven't time. and when
they aren't happening I haven't any.
thing to write. You'll understand how
it is, won you father? And, mother
you just ask father to explain to yor
! how it is. So now I'll say good-by
with lots Of love. In haste, Raw.
mond."-Everybody's Magazine.