davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
CUTTING DOWN THE FLESH
Heroic Struggles Of Fat Man Who
Thought the Scales Were
DeceIvlng Him.

have about come to the conclusion
that the good Lord intended some Of
his creatures to be fat and some thin,
regardless OF medicines and so-called
infallible cures, writes a western
man. For q long while tried all the
alleged obesity cures and none OF
them did me any good. Then deter
mined to starve myself and take lots
of exercise.
All my life / had been lover Of
good eating, and counted that day
lost on which ! did not consume for
my dinner the better part of sirloin
steak as thick as darky's foot, with
Ill the trimmings. For breakfast /
usually destroyed platter Of cakes,
three eggs and no end of thin-sliced
bacon, besides fruits and two cups Of
coffee.
This lifelong system I abandoned
for an entire month, cutting out all
the meat and about all the vegetables,
a piece Of toast and glass Of milk TAX
ing the place of my morning meals
and little rice being the chief item
on the meager dinner bill of fare.
Lunch / omitted wholly. In addition
walked at least six miles every day
and did all sorts Of stunts In my room
with a gymnasium outfit. Prior to
going to bed perpetrated all sorts
of muscular contortions and rolled
on the floor till my body was bruised.
At the end Of thirty days felt fit
to run g. three-mile foot-race or go In
the ring with the champion. About
this time 1t occurred to me that !
ought to get weighed and made q
bee line for the scales. My grocer as
sured me that they were correct to
an ounce, but they showed I had
gained IA pounds in the period OF my
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
HauIlno Manure.

The fall is a good time to top dress
the land. Well rotted manure can be
spread on at the rate Of eight or ten
tons per acre. 1t should be thorough
ly intermixed with the soil so as to
insure quick decay. The organic
matter aids in improving the physical
condition of the soil and at the same
time adds valuable plant food Ma
nure also helps the light and sandy
soils. A top dressing will prevent the
soil from blowing in the spring. 1t
will Increase the moisture-holding
power and will materially assist In
increasing the producing power.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
PURE FOOD LAW NOT MoDERx
Centuries Ago Tradesmen Who Adut
terated Goods Were Most Severe
ly Punished.

Pure food laws are not quite so
modern an invention as we may be.
lieve. DR.. Reisner has made dlscov.
cries In Palestine that seem to In
dicate some sort of supervision of the
food supplies delivered to the palace
nearly 5000 years ago. Labels have
been found that were once affixed to
"a Jar of pure olive OIL" We may
wonder what tests were employed and
what would happen to the man whose
oil was found to be not pure. Prob
ably something unpleasant, for there
was no Supreme court In those days.
We know what happened IN the mid
die ages to the enterprising tradesman
who adulterated his goods. In 1444
a Nuremberg merchant was burned
alive for mating foreign material with
his saffron and the saffron itself was
used for fuel. Probably that artistic
touch impressed the matter upon his
memory.
Some Augsburg bakers who used
false weights and bad flour were
ducked in muddy pool. and through
faulty knowledge Of the human re-
spiratory system, or sheer careless
ness, they came to the surface dead.
In 1882 wine merchant was or
dered to drink six quarts Of his OWE
adulterated wine, and as he died soon
after 1t is evident that the adultera-
ton must have been serious. It is
true that he had to finish the draft in
given number of minutes, and
small number at that, but in those
days they had pleasant way of
weighing the scales and loading the
dice upon the side Of Justice.
Civilization has changed all that.
Nowadays we shiver with apprehen-
sion lest, rogue shall be punished
San Francisco Argonaut.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
l23lilIq 3HsGEl 9o'sE 9sosE fE7I5s E7Es
More Caution Needed.

An exchange tells the story of lit
tie boy whose mother decided that he
was old enough to do without her
sitting by him when he was put to
bed until he fell asleep. So when one
night she kissed the five-year-old and
told him he was big boy and brave
enough to go to sleep without his
mamma and in the dark, too. he pom
dered the situation moment and then
said: "Well, wait minute. I've got
to say my prayers again carefuller."-
Suburban Life.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
stexenaon,a Criticism.

Robert Louis Stevenson once went
to hear Charles Halle play the piano
at the Queens hall. After the per
formance Stevenson, In his black
shirt, walked In silence out Regent
street to Oxford circus. He stopped
at Oxford circus and, in a slow
meditative voice, pronounced this
excellent criticism on the English
musician he had heard: "The man.
ner Of the elderly statesman at the
piano was somewhat austere and
chilling"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
BuzzIna Sounds Made by Insects.

The different humming or buzzing
sound In insects is caused by the VI
bration of the wings, and the more
rapid the vibrations the sharper the
sound. Scientists have estimated that
the common house fly vibrates Its
wings about 1856 times second and
The honeybee 400 times, though q
tired bee moves its wings more slow
ly and makes different sound from
fresh one. The butterfly is content
to move more slowly and makes no
noise.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Took Mother Literally.

Marian pointed to the glass or
cup when she wished a drink, utter
ing inarticulate sounds intended to
convey her desire. She was old
enough to, talk some, but she had
never been taught to ask for drink.
Mother said to her: "When you want
a drink, Marian, you say, Mamma, or
papa, or Hazel, or Mildred, drink"
The next time Marian wished q drink
she pointed to the cup and said:
Mamma, papa, Hazel. Mildred. dink-
dink-inky-ink-ink!"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Homemade Corn Shelter.

spikes driven in so that their heads
protrude about one-half inch.
The ear of the corn is placed in the
notched part and the lever pressed
down. Two or three strokes of the
lever will remove all the kernels
from the cob, A box is provided and
conveniently located on one leg to
catch the shelled corn.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
HOW. TO MAKE CORN SHELLER
Few Scraps Of Old Lumber, Usually
Found on Any Farm, Can Be Made
of Good Service.

Where there is but a small quantity
of corn to be shelled shelter can be
made of few scraps of wood usually
found on farm. A block of wood
having a sloping notch cut from one
end is mounted on three legs as
shown in the illustration from Popu.
lar Mechanics. The notched part as
we'll as the lever is thickly filled with
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
About Umbrellas.

Myeglass wearers have long since
complained that people are careless
with umbrellas. Many pairs Of glasses
have been knocked off and broken by
persons who selishly refuse to move
an umbrella so as to allow other peo.
pie to easily pass. A few even per
sist in dangerously spinning an um-
brella along crowded street, endan-
gering the glasses and sometimes eyes
Of passing walkers.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

II wish you would shout at me. just
the same as you shout at the animals
you are going to kill" said Judge
Moss. at the Carnarvon (Wales)
county court, to butcher who was
giving evidence in quiet tones. IF
you were going to kill an obstreper-
Gus bull you would not whisper like
this" added his honor
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Swat Indirect.

Mandy-What fob yo ben goin' to
de postofice SO reg'lar? Are yo' cor.
respondin' wifi some other female?"
Rastus-"Nope; but since ah been a.
readin' in de papers bout desc con,
science funds ah kind Of thought ah
might possibly git lettah from dat
ministah what married us."-Life.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

Mr.. Staveley Hill, M. P, was at
Bushbury paid peppercorn as rent.
The berry was placed in an envelope
aAd handed to Mr.. Staveley Hill dur
ing visit he paid to the old village
school. In handing over the receipt,
he remarked that he was probably
the only man in England who received
such a payment In kind.-London Tel.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Push Cart Fortune.

The proprietor of the finest cafe In
Los Angeles formerly sold "hot ta-
males" from a push cart, and al
though he is now wealthy. he still
preserves this old vehicle. In erect
ing a business block to house his mod
ern restaurant he built cupola just
large enough to contain the old tamale
cart, and 1t may be plainly seen from
the street
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
bachelors Savage Comment.

BNSIICfVt 0WvNSS OV'fItssS0s"
"A wealthy gentleman, who owns
country seat, on one occasion nearly
lost his mother-in-law, who fell into Q
river which flows through his estate.
He announced the narrow escape to
his friends, expecting their congratu-
lations. One of them-an old bachelor
wrote as follows: II always told
you that river was too shallow
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
4Thou Madest Me For rhvself.n .

o thou God omnipotent, who SO
oarest for every one of us, as II thou
oaredst for him alone; and 80 for all,
az II all were but one! To thee will
] intrust whatsoever I have received
from thee. So shall | lose nothing.
Thou madest me for thyself and my
heart is restless until 1t repose in
thee. Amen.-St. Augustine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
"house Sistera.w

The House-Sisters Association Of
Berlin was established not long ago
% ennoble domestic service and to
establish better relations between the
employers and the employed. The as
ISOLATION has Mother House" near
he city, where girls are trained for
services, situations being found for
hem when competent. Those in
charge Of the home keep in touch
with the girls after they have gone
out into the world to. make their own
way.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

First N. D. (from bedside Of wealthy
hachelor)-He is sleeping naturally
he win recover. Second NJ. Dyes.
the worst Is over. First N. D-No.
the worst Is yet to come. Second NJ
D-How is that? First II. Dive
have yet to break the news to his
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
MAKE COASTER FOR WINTER
Boy Who Is Handy With Tools May
Derive Much Pleasure In Build
Ing Himself "SklpIack."

The boy who is handy with tools
and fond Of possessing an article OF
amusement quite out of the ordinary,
will enjoy making "skipjack." The
skipjack is very easily made and 1t
furnishes no end of fun to those who
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

Through the ordinary course %
mortal failure and misfortune. in thu
career of nations no less than of men
the error of their intellect and the
hardening of their hearts may be &C
curately measured by their denial Of
spiritual power.-Ruskin.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

fore Itook your med
icine I could not
bear the weight of
my clothes and was
bloated very badly.
Idoctored with three
doctors but they did
me no good. They
said nature must
have its way. My
sister advised me to
take Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable g
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

well, James Henry Williams, did
you enjoy yourself at the seaside"
Yes, teacher, very much. liked the
sea, but / couldn't find the inthemis." :"
THE what, James Henry William2"
THE inthemis, teacher: where it says
in the Bible. The sea and all that in
fhann isi ="
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
aMsthnd In Maan.sa )

why do you always insist on talk,
ing about the weather to your bar
berg" "You wouldn't have me talk
about anything so exciting as poll
tics to man who is handling a razor,
would you?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Some Good MAY BE Done.

I told something to a friend once
and he replied, Gee do you want q
fellow to be perfect?" / said, "Yes,
but I never expect to see one, but
there's lots of rottenness which can
be cut out Of the efforts Of all Of us." !"
Exchange.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Use for Cracker Cartons.

The pasteboard boxes that crackers
come in are fine to keep doughnuts
or cookies in, as they will not dry up
also use them to bake fruit cake in,
as the oiled paper and stiff outside
keep the cake from burning, which
fruit cake is very apt to do.-Ex
ohanQa
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
To Clean a Gas Ranua.

The loose parts Of gas range fre
quently become so greasy and dirty
that they can scarcely be cleaned
Place these parts on the Goals In the
furnace when the fire is low and II
will quickly burn them quite clean
without injury.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Rax aIn prlce for watee.

Water In sold by the ton at Per.
nambuco. Brazil. 1t In piped from
springs eight miles out from the city.
and IL furnished to ships at eighty-one
cents . ton within the harbor.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Uo,,eue aecrer

Bacon-What did your boy learn at
coilegef Egbert-Says he can't tell
me. Bacon-Why not? Egbert--
Says It's secret Bacon Nonsense! |!
Egbert-No. You know. he learned
the football signals.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Hair.

A French scientist makes the an.
nouncement that badness Ia a sign OF
intellectual greatness. Let us not be
hasty In accepting his theory. He may
have a grudge against some fiddler.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
when : pubIIe ottIolaI Goes wronu

WHOH FuUTV OIIIVIaI NocS WFuNu
When public servant gets caught
doing something he ought not to, he
always seems to derive lot of sat
isfaction from pretending that his
motives are misunderstood" says an
Ohio paper, That isn't what he says
He says; Il have no desire to try my
case In the newspapers"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
No Hurry for That vshlole

A short-sighted old lady In a hurry
to mount 9 tram car held up her UNI
hrella and shouted to the driver OF a
passing vehicle, Stop! Stopl" to
which the driver replied, Don't be In
. hurry, mum; 1t ain't your turn yet"
m was q hearse.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
MrItlnn PAD

A compact travelling case is book
shaped writing pad. which folds over
fatty, and when open reveals compart
ments for all the correspondence nee
essities, as well as a calendar and mar
row slides holding memorandum slips
One of these fits nicely into q hand
hoo
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Economy Due to Science.

When sugar was made from beets
1t took about twenty tons of beets
to produce one ton Of sugar; now 1t
requires but six tons, due to scientific
breeding of the beets.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
Optical illusion,

back. as Is indicated. with a small
fastener. on which It can be turned
When nearly upright its edges look
parallel. but as it drops lower and
lower the Illusion that this Is not 80
increases.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
asn HoIds Worlds Record.

A Barred Plymouth Rock hen at the
Kansaa station holds the first place
An the worlds records in egg produo-
sson. with SIS eggs to her credit.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
OPTICAL ILLUSION is NOVEL
Arrangement OF Pieces of Cardboard
Furnishes Entertainment by
Showing Errors of Eye.

Cut out such bars as these In a
piece OF stout cardboard and fix mar
SOW strip of the same material at the
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
wRAISES the DOUGH
Domestic Economist.

UUFHS5IIC ECUTUIIII0ts
An excellent Manchester lady fire.
quently invites her friends to tea. but
she does not furnish her table lavish
ly. When her guests have eaten all
the bread and butter and cookies. and
realize that the meal is over, she looks
brightly at the empty dishes. "Well,
now" she says, in triumphant tones,
haven't I judged your appetites ex-
actly ?"-Mancheste Guardian.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
PILES CURED IN 8 TO Il DAYS
trouble for the Future.

Your druggist viii refund money II PAZ0 ONT
MENT fails 10 cure any case of Itching. Blind.
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in to Ii days. Soc.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

Cross-Patch got up one day.
Wouldn't smile, wouldn't play;
Snatched his toys from baby brother,
Smacked the cat and grieved his mother,
All because-or so it's said
He got the wrong way out Of bed.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup tt o best remedy to use for their children
'uring S1e teething period.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11

Red Cross Ball Blue win wash double as many
clothes any other blue. Don't put your money
into any other.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
His unavaiIina Search.

Red Cross Ball Blue, all blue, best bluing value
in the whole world. makes the laundress smile.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
ONLY ONE -BRoMo oUINTNE'
Peppercorn Rent.

hat Is LAXATIVE BRoMO QUININE. Look
n the signature of E. w. GROVE. Cures Cold
One Day, Cures Grip In Two Days. 25c.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1913-04-11
HOW mrs. BROWN
SUFFERED
During Change of Life-How
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound Made
Her a Well Woman.

lola, Kansas. -" During the Change
of Life was sick for two years. Be-
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-08-07

Dick. d ar;
You are rather an angel 10 be so
patient and keep on writing. even
when hav" sent nothing but "hasty
scrawl and three picture postals," /
thought there Were four postals. but
no doubt you arc right. and ! appre-
"'aie your waiting so long before
erupting
My summer has given me certain
insight into another life. | can keep
house and appreciate the work ser
wants have 20 10. Ny expo rience at
Rutherford's gave me n GLIMPSE or
another mode q life. very quiet gen
tie life. school eaching didn't appeal
20 mo. u isn't that ! underrate the
teacher. ! fully believe that real
teacher does more than her share OF
helping the world along buf ! think
its almost n crime 10 20 into school
teaching. becausn is nice. genteel
work for girls Nho have 10 earn th,ir
living and aren't competent enough
20 10 anything else
Therefore I Ravc M school teach.
inE and cam" % Phiia ielpnia 10 find
ont what ] could Go couldn't be- q
stenogra pher or private secretary. az
new SNAPPER woman. or advertising
AK ~. ] read want ads until ] Wa.
dizzy ! didn't want 20 10 into q fac
tory. OF out a. service" so finally
IN desperation a. had boasted that
] could earn my own living and not
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-08-07

need our large income. ] applied for
job in a department store Ny
stylish hgUre" earned me a place in
III" millinery department al eight per,
] proved to be fair saleswoman-
evidently ! have found my vocation
and in less than two weeks | was
advanced 10 twelve and put in the
EXCLUSIVE Model" section Last week
the spring rush for exclusive models
having somtwnat abatCd. the discov-
cry that my French was fluent LED
20 my being placed in charge Of a
litl" French bonbon shop in a cor
ncr Of the main floor
The honbCn shops very amusing.
less exclusive than the millinery. the
customers are more numerous, mora
REGULAR and more chatty. Some OF
NE men are rather annoying. nv
Iri"nd who took me 10 the ball gets
FURIOUS over some OF them. but ! can
usually handle them There n one
COLLEGE youth who squanders untold
wealth on bonbons. and has Invited
mo 20 take In the musical shows.-
gracious. Dicky. you're probably an
indlfnant as Narjory and Andrew.
and Mr.. Adams the foorwaIker. 40
] u saw no NOR. just goodbye
From your sincere friend.
ALICIA.
Noe This is letter Number eight
81 series Of ten letters. l. tier
Numbor nine viii be published sat
uruay.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-08-07

Miss Virginia Huseman was pleas.
antly surprised at tho home OF her
grandfather. John Bayha, Of Glen
wood, the occasion being her tenth
birthday. The lawn was prettily dec
GRATED and the guests spent "A pleasant
afternoon. They included Fred Scha.
Ter. Morgan McClain. Harold Hamm.
Leroy Hamm, Harry Reuhl. Roland
Ebhert. Henry Soldier. William Null.
Henry Null. Alfred Guyer. Jack Win.
chel. Albert Hanke. Walter Leach.
Misses Grace Hall. Isabelle Turtle
Margaret Mechanism. Marcella Sci
tert. Lillian WurtZbacker. Leah Wurtz.
hacher. Adelaide Cunningham. AureIla
FINK. Margaret Gehringer Katherine
Gehringer. Alma VESSEL. Lyzetta
Schoepner. Marie Null. Edna Seidler.
Nellie Yoke. Jane McClain Fila I'm.
vail. Irene Leach. Anna Leach. Hell.
ena Baker. Virginia Huseman
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1913-08-07
Enjoyable Picnic.

The home OF Mrs. Charles Okle. OF
Leatherwood. was the scene of an en-
Joyable event Wednesday afternoon
when picnic was given for the
Misses Marie and Augusta Tice of
Cincinnati. Ohio. who are guests in
this part of the country. The affair
was held on the lawn and refresh
ments were served during the day
Guests Include d members OF the Lacy
Maccabees OF Bridgeport Various out
door sports were enjoyed and the
following were among those pr, sent:
Misses Augusta Tice. Cincinnati.
Julia ObeTdick. Ida Lyle. Irene Smith.
Elizabeth keglrr. Gertrude Kegler
Margaret Shram. Gertrude Cook. Viz
ginia Giffin. Elsie Halter. Marie Tice.
Of Cincinnati. Ida Bloom. Miss Lisby.
Mesdames Frank Pool. Myrtle Ma
scr. Isaac Fowler. Mrs. Carraway. VII
liam Stewart. Mrs Tarbet. Fred Neln-
niger. Walter Sax. George Schram.
Rudolph Shafer. John Shafer. Mrs.