davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
Sulius Nielisn.

Oct fom ioa pliioieIiat og ooer-
raifenoe oa hi pao Sienreiien ira
aorsmeoet bIeo ipnrgt. oSar on
bert, at SnIius 9fielien ira 4otter,
9ebr., oe0e pao Sintionen / 9ia.
cine?"
Oct bar piit inoe paa Sfolen i
9ocine unoer glarsmeoet. at ieg ian
Sulius Rielien isrite Sang Der /
9anoet. Sea par life ois pan, at
ieg fenote BAN. men oa ben al.
@tanO paa en- @ang toni til at itan
lige for mig, iagoe je8 til bom:
g0aon ieg gGtte, boem ben Qiono
or. Sa, oct maaite ies oa gerne,
% sptteoe itrafs rigtia. Sulins
9lieIien % ieg bar bleben fenot
aennem @repnefsIiug. Mine mar.
p~aarerenoe / Ganmorf bapoe onbe.
falet mig bam iom en-, man fumoe
betro iie Ill Der / oet irenfmeoe
2ono. altio bar bans 9rene iuIo
Of yaano o. 2io," al ben Zone:
oSsger fsrit @uos Hige oa bons
Retiproiebeo, fan ifnl ale De on.
ore Ting tiIIGeees eoer." Ger bar
uopet unoerIigt Ieitenoe. p%elgsren.
De og frieerenoe | bans grepe, iaa
man flnoe fomme til at isle iig
sanife fGar og frieiort oeo at IGie
Dem. gIanot andre Ting, iom gu.
Iius ~fortolte mig og andre | ga.
cine, bar ogiaa bette, al ban bar
blenen poft peo Bait. Sobanues
GlouIen, Den Sang / StenmneIe.
SuIius RieIien blen ienere boini /
alllbp mar gresIeb. Ger bar ban
itpipIionit mangen Sang beiegt
2resIep og SoIbiera airfer, bnor
Bat. 81. Beef par VrPit. Om ieg
ioritoo BAN rel, hnnoe ban ogiaa en-
Sang ngret 9eoer al en iterre Sefl.
oagsifoIe. On Sang bopoe ban
bet llbeIo at ion fniiit en- 3 ener
A 5ingre | en- Saffeliesmaifine.
Gan loo oa en- 900 Ben, en- al De
beaige fsre ior iis til 9oftoren for
at faa fine 6inere amputeret. Oa
iao mart iom 8oftoren bite fig
fProig BERTH, off SuIiiis ben ! en-
aroa al gpreIiet oa faIot pao
anp oe BAD Serren ON at itprfe
fig og intte iia oerpaa ben poo
Stolen % loo 9oftoren itare Sim.
creme al uoen at bIipe bersoet.
Sans S~ustoloning oerbiemme
oiloe life boIancere. boorior ban
bIep neot til at iGIee no oe ino
reiie Der til 2anbet. Son tom Der.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
timber Sniet @lpfsbOre.
fS63-f913.

Spreote 1rGf af 9ioens Siitorie
peo Gorl 6. Simonien. Meo Oil.
Ieoer 90 SfiIorineer Of 3priter os
fremrogenoe RRno ira ariitian
TX, Gitrup oe Berg Iige neo til
9onnorfs nupGrenoe aonge oe
RanO iom 3abIe, gerntIen 90 ).
6. Gbriitenien.
On ~interesiont og nDttig BOG
for enbber uooonoret onnit Mano
o. apinoe, Tom gerne bill feIge meo
llobiflingen | 5poreIanoet.
9oeen err pna 1876 itore Sioer 90
ioos / imnft pulotrDft Sbirtines.
bino for $3.50 po,tofrit.
DAN. LUTH. PUBL. HOUSE,
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09

% ben iioite Gel al 9incoIns IoIe:
u9bao bar De 80 Var norettet ?
Ge bar foitilaaet 5reo % gnoree.
tigbeo; ell itor 9tations Qtooenbeo
% 2eoeopgtigbeo er beniit / oette
5iosrum. 6reoen bar iorionet %
tiliert o5 Stgrfe til fpaes 9ano-
ling! ri bar iiuoet binanoen igen
iom 9reore % aammeraier miOer
8oaben, meo 5ortioen lanat borte.
meo al aio % Strio forl0ngit
CLIENT; flm ifol ri life glemme
Den man0ige 8ooo. iom e0eoes Der
al 9fpno. iom too fnIfet moo bin.
anoen - 0tpno, Tom M trpfter
6peranores 0aano meo ct SmiI.
ltnionen er bleoet Ell SirfeIigbeo.
% Stat eiter Stat er bIeDet mo.
i Dor itore 6amilie al frie
MnnO. 81 itaar / @9lo til 0isie
30 9ar; be bar giuet os Ell itor
Arn. iom pi ifDloer at p9rne ON.
aMen er 81 iproige ber2 elsie
graabaareoe NGno, iom bar Jet
6Ueranore paa Den nannfimoige
5la9morf. bar aipet os ct lpienoe
etsempel paa 9~li9tfeIelie % SeIo.
opofrelie. Dc par pillise til al
laoe 9ipet. Tor At Rationen tunOe
leoe. Men oeres Bart er enot. 60.
len iunfer Jig oper Oeres 9ips Ger
ming. Ie ueuter al os. at ui ital
fortiatte. bpor ee flap, iortiatte
2lr6eioet - life paa iamme Mtao.
De. men / iamme aano. Gilt ligger
I'll 8ette % oenter poa o..
Stan 81 gre 0pbrilo ira 9eiren
t Tag % ta9e alt meO magelig
9o2 er Ri tilireos meo lloirfiom.
6eo % 9oile2 arigen gap os Strait
til 9onoling, og SanoIineens Sio
or aItio inoe.
Scr er Ell Ration. iom @iio
bar bDgset op REQ uore Spnoer.
5uao ifaI Di gre meo benz Soem
itaar reoe til at gribe fat paanp
og aItio / Den iamme aano - Gen.
iorcningens, 9nabcts % 6GOre.
Observation-Disclosures 3rRf life llni'
formen al. @i bar @runo til at lag.
ae os / SeIen oe life ioigte De npe
arao. life uHooraee os Gneens gur-
Der. gnonu er Der grobringer at
acre paa 9inets itore Sfueplaos;
Den 6reo oe 9pffe. iom oil bringe
ale ariae og ale Renneifets Sell.
trim / @Iemiel, oinfer % nenter
paa os. CAB os nrre SoIoater og
ammeroter fremoeles for at tie
ne Dor Rpite / fre0elig 8aao."
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09

DIN be enseIlfe Stemmeretsfoin.
bers uoifeielier ifriner Heoafteren
Of Tie gongregationaliit: nDe
bar reiit SpsrgsmaaIet, ON bet
jfaI tillaoes poIitiife asitatorer OF
baone % angribe andre Menne.
fer, uofrtte oeres 2iu for Sure
oe soelasee offentlise os pripat
Gienoom, gsre Sn6grib | Wenne.
iferS offentlige og priDote 8ettig.
be0er, og meoens be fororer lam.
me Met iom NGr6ene neo BoIguo-
terne, bar be fsgt at bRffe offent.
Zig Spmpati, for fis iOm aDinoer,
itoor De arreitereoes for oeres Gor.
trpoelier. De bar argiimenteret,
at 6eriom bet tiIIo6es benz at item.
mi, piIoe oeres Comb fnd be6re 9obe
o. bIiue reoeret beorc, me6enS be
iro65er Qoben o. s0elngger bet,
lcm & bet fundamentals ! al Re
oerina dotcIie for 2ou. orGom-
5toIene, for Megeringsperioner og
for onore Menneifers Rettigbecer.
Gtbbert 6orisg paa ! bette 2Ooe
aorbun6reoe at benptte 2oDlps-
BED Tom N2i0oeI for poIitiffe %
6Eonomiffe MefoEuner bbr frdftisi
fofbbuuse0. Der oibee an6re oa
bebre MILLER III a opuoa NetfGr.
bisbeb.s aAM.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09

ct goot Orb al Dor giceprGii
bent, RaribolI. $50 Glore ieg BIZ.
Der. oes mere operbeoiit bliner ieg
OH 5eius al 0a5aretbs @uooom og
@ibelens euooommelige Oprinoelie.
Gen Mano, iom life latter ariiten'
oommens Itore @rumoprincipper,
Der efter nit Sfsn life opnaaet
2lpets fuIoe Serligbeo, og en- Zig.
renoe apinoe bar life fattet apinoe.
Iigteoens fuloe Serligbeo". = Dis
ie Oro loo @iceprpieoenten faloe
| en- Gale, ban forleoen bolot l en-
Senoagsifole / Baibington.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
0nsoag oen 8. Suli 1913.

) bette Drummer er 5%ort9aingen
.7et flammenoe 9ogitaO" iluttet,
og en- ny, IRE Menneifebern", al
4anp. er 6eggnot. vi tyr trpgt
anbeiale bore 9eiere oenne npe
Sortqaing iom en- agte 600 Scr
telling. DER pil fange babe Dngre
og Glore 9aieres Snteresie. 90 5
nc eerne, 9enner, anbeiaIe Ra-
beer at begunoe announcement poa
9laoet meo bette Drummer, iaa DC
fan foa oenne uomprfeOe 6ortGI.
ling fra 9egDnoelien al.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09

10 Cts. % par iaa enoOa beore.
%iunoere, emo blues 5raaoieri / Ser
liabeo % @leoe. gerira 1iorerte
ior gnrigt bans SernbelbreO.
Gmiioer osoe ban. Sioen bar
bans enfe gipet MilIionerne @in-
ger.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
nofait Of Siuets 3egnebog.
(af X.)

9lanot troen6e @ibeliortoltere
finoes Der Dem. Tom er tilbsisllae
til Of meme. at Slaneen, Der
friiteoe rore fsrite 5orGlore i @nes
Sobe. life fremitiIIeoe fig / arp.
benoe StiIIina. men oeri1oo CO.
reift.
Soao Wenneifet life fan iaa at
oioe, er oct melt ipriet eiter Of
ianee Cps os aIarbeO ouer. S0or.
ban og buao for en- Sldnge oct
BAR, Der tnles ON. bnor oiot Den
pirteIis gift opreiit, maaife bouoe
nogen menneifelig 2igbeo oeo 81
oen at 5oIens @one, oerom ian
oi pei ineen OpIpsning / iurbaau.
oennurenoe 5iosoIo. Rot er Oct,
at life blot troenoe 99roe. men o..
iaa aunItnere bar bRloet til zen
onisrte anifueIie. Der er i~naleees
ct Woleri al Ban Der @oes / Sol
muiqet I Bien, foreitiIlenoe S1n.
oelaloet, boorpaa Slongen err At.
biIoet meo arme og Ben nGiten
Zig Tuoiens. San bar WfeuHeifebo'
peo og itonr opreiit oeo ben enc
Sibe al oct ifRbneiDangre Sr9.
aroppen minoer ON 5irbenet, Gg.
len. 5nlen er inf og itump og bar
lieeiom ct Spnoboneo Doerit. Get
er ct pfelt Spn. Maen oeiaa tore
fsrite 5orplores SfiffeIier er | bsi
@rao uifenne pna bette aiinitnGrf
Mon bar ment, at oct ligger /
Serrens 5orbanbelie ODER Slangen
efter SDnoefaIoet Il Waoi. 3,
f4), at ben inbtiI ben Stuno life
freb pon gugen - LEGION 10 ben
tunge SorbonoeIie ODER apinoen.
at bum ifuIbe fsoe me6 Smerte,
fsrit galoer efter at 5aloet bar
fuIobrogt.
Mprfp9roiet er oe bliper UNDER
allie Smit9noigbe6er ct Jaftrm,
iom maaife life ret mango at bette
gloos 2piere fan antogeS at bope
bert pm for. glonot Slongeorterne
er Der en- 5omiIie GIpiii09), fom
Spor of Softer 90
9 q q (retoins peitises Of pei
big nno bino Iimbs), bpiIfe iioitt
ifpoer frem nn6er Sf0llene fom
fmaa fIoIienenoe Sporer paa beg
ge Si5er of 9ueen. On benz flyer
oa Bioenifoben, at be engang mao
babe p9ret noget reeIt, p0ret
Bring. Men fon itemmer 10 gibel oq
gibenifob operens oeri.
qoef T{nnpr | nj mpnnefppr9 00.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
Qpuferinsu.
Sap n misfionen.


5er tUtteret ie abl. Gr. 81 =. :. .."..".,... .$222f5
aeeer Sarf, Canada, Wars. 8. 6. SoIano >. -. LOO
s~eeitbroof, 9Re, Gen / b. eu..Iutb. Menigbeo .......... 3745
Coulter, Sa, apf. -. :. :. .........".... 5000
3iIiammen. 1898 10
Jxbianermisfismen
5er fphteret ie al. Ar. 81 :. -. =. ........$f37 05
@eItbroof, Me, Zen T. b. ep.Iuib. g~ieniabeo 49,. 1872
Iortbiielo, 1inn, Ct 9eters Daobs ling. .......... 300
Holfe, ga, 8. Solngren :. - :. :. ............. $50
n~bremisfisne
Ser tohteret, ie abI. Nr. 26 =. :. :. ............ $685. 80
Rorma, 81. Gaf, 8ions gQsb. :. :. =. .......... 735
ailonnen. .$543 25
Wormsumisftsne
Ger fDnteret, fe abl. Nr. 81 :. =. =. :. 80. S530O
@eitbroof, We, Den fsie |. eo.Iutb. @eb. 49,. 1872
ailamnen. s7i72
efsIefastea
Scr fpiHeret, ie al. NL. 81 ;. :. :. ........... .$f23b0
Gor6opa, Nebr, 3beooor Neterfm, z. 6. 4 eterfcn, Sens
9. NieIjem, 3. %. Senien, NeIs Sbrgenien, Sngpert g.
&naien, u. Gbrifionen, Dolter Sobnien ID. 81; 6.
Senien So; Sobn Sobnfen, Granf Sobnfen bp. So; Wil
Granoe, s. O.. Ssenien, Miea Ssreenien, WoIter
SEMEN, Snius Stranger, Nfsfn Semien 3D. 6t -. 1900
aaIanumea $i41bO
Blair, Netr, ben 1. Sui, 1918.
Ctts 9amiaM,
Ros I ben FORE |. @Iu4. atrte In.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
Oct bar grqiioent abrabom Gin

AeI DQr YrRllOeIu ~ih'
coins iioen iaa beremte -
Tale peo oenne 2eiligbeo, og. life
Ianot, bet er life uoen 8runo, ben
er bIepen beremt. Zen taller til
9ntionen, ben rsber en- oDb 5or'
~Itaoelie Of oeres Gaab, iom itreo
og ofreoe oeres oip paa Slagmar.
fen, oe ct Hart gIif for OpgaOer.
ne, Der ligger for 0ationen.
geo ben nplig afboIote 80 aars
5eIt / gettysburg bol0t gr9iioent
8iIfon, iom oct iig buroe, en-
Gale til 8eteranerne. Den Hog
life an Tom 2inpoIns 9ole. 8eret-
ningerne berfra Iso paa, Of ben
bIep mootaget meo auloe, nagtet
ben bar affattet | lRroe Orb og
oratoriife 8enoineer. Wen, men
- bet por nii ogiaa ct republi.
tanif 9lao, Der inoebolot oenne
WeooefeIIe. Selp ON prRiioent Bil.
ions Gale life par I Stano til Of
qribe Betermerne, iom 2incolns
EaIe greb arigerne, bet bepiier
life, at ben bar ooarlig. OmItpnoig-
beoerne on og nu bar meget for.
ffeIIiee. gIene ben Omit9noigbeo,
of 2incoln tolte blot til Voro'
Staternes arigere os GoIf, Bilion
til be operIebenoe geteraner fra
boooe ben ieirenbe og ben operpumo.
ne Scr gioroe en- pploig 5orifel.
Get bar en- iaare nonifelig Opgope,
Der por itiIlet Br9i. Bilion, lite
minoIt foroi ban CT Gemofra, alt.
Ian nGrmeit ipoitatsuenlig, og ban
toIte paa en- GIogmarf, bpor Woro'
Ttaterne ieirebe. Og belt umiligt
bar bet 10 for BAN at pege filboge
paa be we6rifter, Soften minoebe
ON, poa en- inobom Naa6e, at bet
rietie fimbe appeIIere til getero'
nernes GbleIier. Def, Der fifnoe
bobe beeeiftret be ~wlda", bible
10 bdbe tbbt be ~0roaS. 81 timber
fSTeenbe Oh At Rrnfbenten me
get basleMbe ioe &xIebntneen. Der
& r. 0tlla eamdans meIIm BEN
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1913-07-09
gincOIns 6ettpsbnrg= Gale.
0olot Deo Sno0ielien al @rnOplao.
len peb @ettgsbnra.

fSor inn o. firiinostnoe aar Il.
Den frembraate pore 5Gore pna
bette Sentiment en- M gation, Der
nar unofanget / 5riheo % oiet
Den Sgtning. at ale Menneifer
er fsot Ii9e.
Nu er ri iteote / en- tor Berger.
frig. Der ifaI piie. ON Oenne go.
ton, eler en- hoiIfen Tom BELT
Ration, Der or iaaleoes u%nofangett
oa inOoiet. fan beitna ret lPnge
8i er iamIeoe paa cen al 0enne
arigs itore SIngmarter. gi er tom.
men her Tor at inopie en- Gel al
oenne Worf til ct iioite 9niIeIteo
for oisie, iom Der ofreoe oeres Gin
for at oenne Ration mnntte lepe.
Get er fuIot no pasienoe og fiber
ligt at pi gsr bette.
Ren / bsiere 5oritano fnn ni
life in6pie = oi fan life foniefre.
re - Ri fon life belliee oenne
8rrno. 9e gppe M9nh, leuenoe
eaer oeoe. Tom itreo Der, bar fon'
iefreret Steoet langt no oner, bnoo
nt er / Stono til. 8i fan hnerfen
lpaae til eaer toge ira. geroen oil
lioet l9gge Mprfe til ener lpnge
minoes, bnoo bi her flyer, men
ben fan alorig glemme, bnao De
eioroe Der. Oct gGIoer for os, De
Iepenoe, mere ON at bli1e in6Oieoe
Der til at fulofere bet 8qrf, iom
De, Der Itreo Der. ioa nobelt bar
fremmet iao langt. 3et e9loer Tor
os ON of blipe inooiet til bet itore
ufulofsrte 99rf, Der ligger ioran
os = OF ri ira oisie Greoe oeoe
latter sget 9ensioenbeo for Den
Sag, for bpilfen De gap oct itoIte
lube Maol al Sengiuenbeo - Of
oi Der bprt beilutter, at bisie fare
life IfoI bore osoe' forg9pes - al
oenne 0otion, unoer Cubs 2eoel'
Re, ifoI faa en- np Sribeos. Ssoiel-
oe at Reeerine Of Solicit, BED Sol
fet og for Solicit life ifnl iorioinoe
ira Soroen.
abrabam 2incoln.
10. Wop., 1868.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05

a Prince of Good Fellows puts
in twelve hours day trying to
stab himself to death with
Bronx cocktails, and the other
twelve hours are devoted to
screaming for help and ice-wa-
ter.
Mind you, Pm not Knocking
Hep.
Far be it from me to aim the
Hammer.
When it comes to falling off
the street sprinkler l can do an
annettekellermann that gets
loud applause from all the men,
bers of the High Tide Associa-
tion-so tuttley-tut on the
knock!
His father cut out the breath
ing business about four years
ago and left Hep with 100000
and a long dry spell on the in
side.
Hep has been in the surf ever
since.
His only recreation between
bars is golf. He invented the
C. A. r. score in that game
out in '61, back in '65.
I explained my sad plight to
Hep over the phone, and, later
on, with Peaches all dolled UP
like a Corot landscape, we met
Hep by appointment in front of
Bustalddlestrings Cabaret.
Hep in his man-about-town
scenery was sartorial dream
in black and white. He had ev-
erything on, including half a
bun.
''Wel, if it isn't John Hen
ry!" he hagueandhagued.
"Touch thumbs with your old
pail" Then in side speech he
wanted to know what musical
show had loaned me it's prize
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05

used two glasses and both
hands. After a time, however,
he feathered both oars and
drifted aimlessly with the tide.
Pardon me-" said Peaches to
Max, in an effort to pass out a
bit of Society Salve, ''but do you
find it interesting-this glimpse
of Bohemia %
Bohemian nothingw bubbled
Max. "This joint is Cosmopoli-
tan-sure thing! The chef is q
Frenchman; the pastry cook is a
Greek; the head waiter is a Ger
man; they got Hungarian vio-
linist and the proprietor has a
wife and two kids in Jersey
City, but he don't 60 there
much. Bohemia, not on your
powder puff"
Peaches took the count, then
she leaned over and whispered
to me, What is he pa paint
er?"
ooh! he's a painter all right" +"
[ squeaked; when some one
leads him up to tub"
"Water colors or oil?" she
asked.
COLL" I said; "fusel OIL"
"Has he ever done any good
thing?" she queried.
eyes," l said; "Hep Hardy"
ooh! Pm enjoying this so
much," she coo-cooed, giving
Max and his past performances
the sudden pass-by. "Who is
that man at that table with the
fawn-like eyes and the long
hair?"
He was the night-watchman
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05

he takes off his hat and walks
on his toes.
[ spoke his name rapidly
when | introduced Max to
Peaches, but as she was busy
trying to lead a swift life by Or
dering a seltzer lemonade it
didn't make much difference
what I called him.
Hep must have been sitting
over trapdoor, because sudden
ly wine-coolers began to festoon
themselves around about him.
Blue wine-coolers appeared at
his right, magenta wine-coolers
at his left, and ice, drift ice as
far North as the eye could see.
Presently platoon of walters
began to annoy the corks and
then followed a correct imita-
ton of the second day at Get
tysburg.
One cork went over quickly
to another table and struck a
fat moneyed person from Pitts
burg between the second and
third floor of his accordion chin.
He thought it was one o'clock,
so he rose hurriedly and left the
room.
For months he'll be telling the
home folks how he beat the po-
lice to it at closing time.
Meanwhile Max was over
board with a splash. For the
first ten minutes he had three
walters on the verge of nervous
prostration trying to supply the
suds fast enough. But Max
didn't play Rugby rules-he
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05
chicken.

chicken.
| introduced him to my wife
and he tried to square himsef
by explaining that now that his
right eye was properly focused
she didn't look at all like a
chicken-she was more of the
squad type.
Then with a merry burst of
vermouth-laden laughter he led
the way into the Cabaret.
The head waiter met us at
the edge Of the reservation.
Hep slipped him something
that made noise like five dol
lars and the Fl. w. bowed. Hep
slipped him again and he bowed
lower. Hep slipped him anoth-
er little map of the mint and
the H. WIS forehead scraped
the floor. Hep ceased slipping
and the H. w. came up on the
other side and led us to a table.
The room was a-dazzle with
Gaudy Lights. Rag-time music
hurried away from preoccu-
pied orchestra, hit the ceiling,
bounced off and scampered
round the tables. Laughter,
both refined and careless, tried
to drown the clatter of dishes
and won out. Cigarette smoke
and Mary Garden perfume
clinched in a death struggle all
over the place and Mary put the
boots to Murad every time.
$50 this is Bohemia!" sighed
Peaches as the head waiter
pulled out a chair and dared her
to sit down. John, dear, do
point out the celebrities to me,
won't your"
"They haven't come in yet" :"
I gurgled, and Hep let loose a
laugh so nearly like that of a
nervous coyote that four wait
ers rushed up, prepared to take
any kind of tip.
Just as we were sinking
gracefully into our plush chairs,
and the Sicilian brigand was
about to take our order, who
should float into the dry-dock
but Max Mincenstein, one of
Hep's friends-after 2 A. M.
/ don't know how Max ever
pressed close enough to get on
Hep's staff.
Max has money. He'll al
ways have 1.-THE same money.
Max is a lazy losenger.
When the waiter returns with
the check Max is the busiest
talker in the bunch.
Max loves money. Money
loves Max. They are insepara-
BILE.
Whenever Max passes a bank
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05

Of an apartment house uptown,
but / gave her an easy speech to
the effect that he was Bill Men
delssohn, a grandson of old man
Mendelssohn, who once wrote
wedding march so carelessly
that it is now used as a coon
song.
She gasped and gurgled with
delight-in Bohemia and having
the time of her young life, so |
let her dream.
In the meantime Hep, with a
bucket of wine, was busy trying
to put out the fire in the we'll
Max used as a neck.
Every time waiter looked at
our table Helps roll would blaze
up.
Peaches presently concluded
she'd broaden out a bit on Art
and the Old Masters, so she
asked Max if he liked Rem
brandt.
Max looked at her out of the
corner of his eye and murmured,
"Much 'bliged, but I'm up to
here now!"
Then he pointed at his Ad-
ANS Apple and fell asleep.
Hep was beginning to see
double. Every once in a while
he'd stop humming "Here
Comes My Daddy Now-Papa
Papa, Papa, Papa!" then he'c
close one eye and with the other
| look over at Peaches and hand
her a sad, sweet smile.
! It's a gay life, boysl
When our expensive food fin
ally arrived Hep was gazing at
his fingers and wondering how
they got on his hands, while
Max, the genial pest, with his
chin driven through his shirt.
front, was over on Dream Ave.
nue., about to hitch up his ia.
vorite nightmare and take g
spin through Bugland.
Peaches was toying with q
spoonful Of consomme Julienne
and l was parleying shoestring
potatoes back on my fork, wher
suddenly there came a great
changing of bells, doors ratified
and banged, women screamed
and the orchestra fell out of &
back window-all except the
bass fiddle. He fell in a bowl of
soup left for him by an obliging
but hurrying waiter.
Max woke up suddenly, looked
about wild-eyed and slid grace
fully under the table.
Hep, with a roll of bills in
each hand, tried to stand up and
defy the universe, but he top
pied over among the wine-cool-
ers and passed peacefully away
again in cold storage.
A fat man with a beard and a
dialect ran around in circles eX-
claiming that he was the pro-
prietor, but nobody pinned a
medal on him, and he burst into
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-10-05
John Henry ON Cabarets.

~ AY! Did you ever burst
- right into Bohemia ane
with the aid of of com
planning pocketbook try to He'll
yourself to a Hilarious even
ing?
Tag me-I'm 1t.
Of course, | don't mean Bo-
hemia in the highbrow sense
nix. Not one of those quaint
retreats with the lemon-colored
atmosphere where sad-eyed Ar
tistic Temperaments foregather
to chop spaghetti with a fork
and bark handmade repartee
at each other over a beaker of
absinthe-nix.
1 mean the Bohemia so
called by the Buyer from Max
Plahn's Universal Emporium,
Waukesha, Wis, who hits New
York along in August and
leaves the imprint of his san
dals all over Longacre Square
and adjacent by-ways.
The Bohemia, so called, which
is composed of incandescent
lights disguised as rosebuds;
Bulgarian walters disguised as
second-story workers, and a
menu card which, without any
disguise, leads the unwary di-
rectly to Petition in Bank
ruptcy.
The Bohemia, so called, where
the wise virgin trims her lamps
about nine o'clock of an evening
and when said lamps get to
flashing over the Martini and
other happy waters, believe me,
the suckers rise to the surface
SO fast that the walters have to
hand out eye-shades.
P. S.-Foolish virgins with
untrimmable lamps are not to be
found in this Bohemia, so called.
Ever since we've been back in
New York, Peaches has been
Handing out Hints that she'd
like to have me take her over
the hurdles into that Fair Land
where rag-time and Dreaded
pork chops do a sister act-to
one Of those real devilish New
York Cabarets.
Rub his ankles, Doctor; the
blood has rushed to his Bean!
| tried to explain to friend
wife that the Cabaret is an in
stitution invented solely for the
purpose of giving hiccups to
Gold-plated Strangers, but
Peaches was strong for a Peek
at the Night-Life of New York
and it was up to me to furnish
the opera glasses.
She wanted to know if |
thought she could toy with a
tenderloin steak in some Musi-
cal Soup-House without having
policeman call her by her first
name.
told her | was away on sick
leave the morning Cabaret
Etiquette had been passed
around, but I'd ask my friend
Hep Hardy about it.
Hep is what they call in the
laurajeans a Prince of Good
Fellows.
AS near as l can size him up