davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Last Letter Defined 1t.

AyoR LUNN. OF schenectady.
N "A was condemnlnS certain
IVY corrupt lawyer
IT was showing visitor the
.,~bts Of New York one day." he said,
"snd. of course. we took in Mi!lionaires'
ROW we gaped at the Frick house
we nodded with approval In front oi
the Carnegie house. and We Guffawed
before the house OF senator clark.
pillared house of pale stone, and my
friend said:
but surely. he never built place
like that out Of his practice%
NO" said ], not out of his pracuce
out Of his practices. Albany Jour.
nal.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
He Wanted to Know.

n Irishman Just landed got work
n on the New York Central as
~ flagman at Tarrytown. HIS
first day on the job he waved
the red danger signal before the EN-
pire state Express. The brakes screen
ed down, the train stopped and the
crew ran UP.
whats the matter? Why did you
stop this train?' the conductor demand
cd.
''Well-" began the flaSman.
Don't you know It's state prison
offensc tn stop a train without cause?'
the conductor explained. why, were
twenty minutes late now.
That's just it, was the answer
Where have yez been the last twinty
minuteS?' Star.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
What's on tie Program IN
WASHINGTON Today

The following Masonic orE1nizAf1ons
will meet tonight: Lodges - Federal
No. ], e. A.; Acacia. No. Is: TakomA.
No. %. Z. A. Royal Arch Chapters
Mt. Horeb, No. Z, NJ; Potomac. No. &
knights Templar-De Molay Com
mandery, No. 4. Scottish Rtte-Rooert
de Bruce Council. Knights Kadosh.
No. /, twenty-first degree. Eastern
Star Chapters-Electra. No. ,: Bethls-
hem, No. Z.
The following I. o. o. F. organisations
viii meet tonight: Lodges-Washing-
ton No. s; Gorden Rule, No. a. and
Amity. No. q, business. Encampment
Fred D. Stuart. No. 81, business.
meets Z D. m; encampment rally b5
The Following K. of P. LODGES WIZ meet
tonight: Webster. No. 2, rehearsal.
Excelsior, No. IA, Germania, No. 10.
Capital, No. "a: Myrtle, No. ..
The following Red Mems organizauons
will meet tonight: Idaho Tn1e. Nc.
Council, No. g.
First annual concert and dance OF tns
Y. NJ. III. A. in Old Masonic Temple
p. m.
Lecture before Potomac Literary Soci-
ETY. by the Rev. 8. Townsend weaver
Grace NJ. F.. Church. 8 p. m
Address by the Rev 'Eliott Wnlte. rec
tor Of Grace Church, Newark. n. j.,
In Epiphany Church. p. m
Second entertainment for benefit OF the
blind in Home for the Blind.
Monthly meeting of Board of Trads
in the New Willard, 5 p m
Lecture BY Miss Mary Emerson Jack
son in home of Mrs. Margaret f.
Dodge, on Equal Suffrage and the
White Slave Traffic.
comnander-in-chief of the 6. A. r.
Meeting of the Randle Highlands Cit
izens' Association. D. m
Reception to Mrs. Wallace Streator by
United Daughters of the Confederacy.
Confederate Memorial Home.
Fifth annual dinner of WiTe's Bible
Glass, lecture hall of Keller Memorial
Lutheran Church.
Lecture by Frederick Moore before Ma
tional Geographic Society. $50 and Sis
o'clock D. m.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Thrice Told Tales
By Alns WoodUad.
BY VIC

| her over the dumbwaiter now IL this
janitress. And his father spends all his
time hanging around the lunchroom at
the corner picking up the scandal OF
the neighSorhood-
I admire the courage Of our Whife-he
has Spartan courage No. don't inter-
fere. Fred. Let Willie beat him up all
he wants TO. it's really a charity to the
child to let some one whip all the mean
traits of his father and mother out OF
him. I'm sure when he gets older he'll
appreciate what wiIlie's done for him.
Our Willie has such noble. unafraid
soul!
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Proof of His Love.
Chicago Record-Herald tells OF

-HE Chicago Record-Herald tells OF
this conversation:
But" she asked, maven you
ever told any other girl that you
loved herr" 49,, ,
Yes" he replied. Il have to'd a
dozen other girls I loved them.
thought I did. too; but you are the
e..t one I have ever really loved. l
know now that never reaiized before
what real love was. A.. .,,- g.
"How can you be sure tha' this Is
"On each of the other occasions
ms unable to keep from wondering
while I was telling my love how
would be able to support the girl II she
accepted me, but now ! don't care
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

Miss Janet Richards, suff, says that
the antis help the cause, which is
something that we have maintained
from the start. But the SUITS, instead
of lying back and permitting the
work of the antis to win the fight for
them, persist in activities that ad-
vance the cause Of the antis a cor
responding distance. We are OF a
fraction Of a mind to throw over this
suffrage question entirely; It's get
ting too gol-darned complicated.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
THIS THAT
Ninh Sometimes q Lite sfthe Olhe>

To theatrical managers. press agents
or whomever is responsible for it: How
in the name of the sacred eight-sheet
can an attraction be direct from New
York and Chicago?" II it's directly from
New York it isn't from Chicago, and Il
it's direct from Chicago it isn't from
New York. And anyhow, in addition
to and beside which, in the connection
in which you customarily use it, you
ought to say directly"
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

"Everybody's" for March carries a
oalendar Of the month on the cover. with
a lion breaking through the page The
first day shown to be affected by the
leonine advent is March s. The lack
OF realism on the part Of illustrators,
however, has been commented on before
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

The Western Union Telegraph Co..
for one. harbors no delusions as to
what. will happen to inaugvisitors. Rates
for money sent by telegraph. they an
nounce, will be reduced March 1, 1913.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Amusements.

National-John Mason in The Attack
Beiasco-"The Merry Countess" ST.,
p. m.
Colunbia-"Othello." Sis p. m.
Chase's-Polite vaudeville. 2:15 and S:i5
u. m.
Polfs-"The Man of the Hour" Sis
Aca,emy-"The Country Boy" s,l5 and
Sis p m.
COSMOS Vaudeville
casifo-Vaudeville.
I.yceunr-Sam Rice's Show, e:15 and
s:15 y. m.
Gayety-"Mcrry-G o-Rounders,r ::,s and
S.15 p. m
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

PLEASE" begs n. NJ. X, Choke of
some of that inaugural stuff. TIL be
glad when the inauguration's over"
We won't. The plan to postpone insug
day to April or May was a better
scheme than We thought 1t was.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Thanks; We've Another Engazement

Trom the KaIida. o.. 'Record.'')
fine steam table, which enables me to
serve hot, appetiging dishes without any
delay. Come in and let me serve you.
B. NJ. Hight. Kalida.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

In the reorganization of the bridge
workers. to occur in indianapolis. We
suggest the Incorporation OF plans for
chloroforming the man who always
leads away from king.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

Count that day bare beyond a doubt,
When, from some distant section,
There comes no sure-thing dope about
A cabinet selection.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

The details Of the no-high-prices reso-
luton are not very clear to US: but
we're backing the hotelkeepers to a
fare-ye-well
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
THE SCARS.

Clarence Smith
Told His Mother:
= WAS standin' on the steps not doin'
nothin' to nobody, IAN Willie Jones
he comes out NV the house an he
sez: 'Ain't it quiet round here?"
an seq yes" an he sed. ''Gee, gotta
make some excitement an then he
give me a punch an I fell down the
steps. An that's where ! got the cut
, over my eye, ma.
An then I wuzn't yellin' much when
I got up an he sez. Yer a sport.
MGraw. / gotta a nickel an III let
yuh come round the corner with me an
drink the top offn my ice-cream soda =
So went round the corner an when
the man fixed the soda Willie, he
showed II in front NV me an he sez,
Go on. kid, sop up the suds, an
there wuz Strawberries. ma, hoatin' on
| II an went to it. An the bubbles got
gin to choke. an then Willie he yelled,
"Ain't yuh got no manners? An he
fired me off'n the STOOL. an they gotta
a tile floor in the ice cream sloon, ma,
an all the time he. wuz drinkfn' he
KEEP his foot on my neck an said 1
wuz a dyin' gladiator. That's the rea-
son my neck's 50 dusty. ma.
Then, when he finished drinkin' he
fished me up an he put his arm
through mine. JUS like l wuz his cous-
in, an he sez, Now yer initiated into
the s'ciety all 'cept one thing" An l
/ sez, whats the sciety?" An. he SEE.
"Oh. its a secret sciety. You amt
goin' to know nothin' about it. but yer
sez. what one thing?" An. he SEE,
ITO be reel member. yuh gotta be
able to swipe banana frum the
. Dago's stand at the corner an give it
to the president-Fm the president"
An I amt never been a member Nv
nothin, ma, so 7 did II. An the Dago
caught me an tha's how I got the rest
wv the cuts,
Willie Jones
Told His Mother:
III, gee, He's bin squealin'
againl He's a regular Gussie.
~ that kid Is II yuh only run a
/ pin in him he squeaks,
didn't do nothin' to him at ALL Any
how. it's his own fault il he gets hurt.
He's always trailin' on behind.
III tell yuh how 1t wuz. ma come
out NV the house an sees this kid
standin' on the steps takin' up the
, whole place: so / go 10 move him
gentle to one side an what does he do
but tumble He's awful loose on his
feet, ma. / seen him trip over a
! shadow on the street onct.
An then yuh know ! felt sorry in nv
heart to think he wuz hurted through
| me- so | ask him right away to go
! round the corner an help me drink my
| soda. An then what does he do but
/ so In wadir', Why, gee, ma. he's got
! suction pump beat TO a batter!
+; SO I lifted him off'n the soda SOS I
/ could get whack at II myself. an he
goes an does the fall act again. I
| couldn't help IL IL he fell under my
feet. could I. ma? Il gotta put my feet
| SOME place. Then. when We went out
! | felt sorry for the poor boob an I sed
/ I'd elect him a member NV our stunt
| s'ciety. An he sed he didn't do a
! stunt yet but he'd do one theR-an' he
| copped banana frum Louis That's
all ! know bout his bein' chewed up,
Mrs. Jones
Told Mr.. Jones:
= WOULDN'T interfere at all II I
were you, Fred. Tie child's reg
i ular wilmer. an soodnes knows me
! comes Ivy IL honestly. His mothers
| fought with every tenant In this house
and the only person who'll speak to
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

"Prc-Inauguration Weather Is Here. >
Times" headline. Heavings. So it is
And has been 10! these many years.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
The Contract Not Filled.

-~EE here said Tompkins
y" angriIy to the car agent. you
- told me IL after using that
car ten years 7 didn't say II
was the best on tine market you'd give
me another"
SO | did, so | did,, returned the
agent.
well, it's a bunch of junk at the
end of six months" said Tompkins.
land I'd like the other car.
"Ah-but the contract was that You
were to say that after using the old
one ten ten years, sir" said the agent.
You're Just nine years and SIN montls
short of the contract. - harper
Weekly.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
The Unitary Quartet.
(From the "Heraid.")

trrom tne Heroio.D
In addition to the playlet, an elab-
crate musical program was given, in
cluding several solos by the Wood
bridge Male Quartet.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

Polls next week: No matinee Tues
day; special matinee Monday.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

1t is only equitable to add. though,
that on warm days the heat stuff
fairly volleys from the radiators.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
Tribute.

i dream about your stuff at night;
I never can forget it.
1t takes no time at all to write;
But all the day to set II.
CoMPosIToR
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

AS We gambol to the comp room the
atmosphere contiguous to our desk
is all to the captainamundsen. Manip-
ulating a fountain Ben while wearing
gloves. however, has one advantage:
IL keeps the hands clean.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25
How the Times Have Changed!

(From "webster's Imperial Dictionary OF the
English language" published in 1907
The capital letters are ours.)
Rush, V. t.; rushed, pit. pp.; rushing,
ppr. 1. To put forward hastily; to
hurry forward: as, TO RUSH A BILL
THROUGH CONGRESS.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

Speaking, we imagine, OF the talk
ing and the CAB in it
That's about the only way to find a
rhyme for cabinet.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

voTEs-FoR-woMEN ARGUMENTS.
VIII.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

Another good way to waste time is
predicting bad weather for inaugday y
merely because it carried on high yes
terday. Not that we don't agree with
them
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

WHO CAN FERRET THIS OUT?
From the North East Pa. "Sun.D
An assistant clerk WIN lie added to the
postoffce force on March l.. Under the new
civil service rules, clerk is only allowed 10
work eight hours in ten.
No, Vilitia, you couldn't call 'em
minute men Just because they're men,
hers of the sixty-second Congress. You
ought to know better.
Ambrosia, just at present doesn't
sound a bit like a warlike name. But
we'll tell you more about it in a few
weeks.
The official inquiry of Huerta into the
actions of Huerta is expected 10 alb
solve Huerta.
Add Personal Friends Club: Eye
witness; singular coincidence.
Life in Mexico Is just one darned
crisis after another.
Line to keep in type: Mrs. Pankhurst
Arrested.
As to a title for the new Senatorial
leader
You might call him the Kernel.
N-......- .. q. r K.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

You miset call him the Kernel
-....r q. & <.
The Washington times., 1913-02-25

As to title for the new Senatorial
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1913-06-14
Regaios a la
Biblioteca Insular

I'D comisionado de ,Educaci0n senior
BANTER, ha regalado a la Biblioteca In
slllar una 0bra de gran m6rito bibliogra-
fico. Els la primera edici6n del Viaje de
la escuadra espailola a Constantinopla,
en- 1884 edtci0n regia, en- folio, con gran
profusi0n de grabadOs en- acerO, dedi-
cada all primer ministro seilor Conde de
Florida Blanca
Dado el POGO tempo que suelen durar
en- este china los libros, atacados cons
tantemente por la humedad y por la po-
lilla, Sc conserva este bastante bien, a
pesar del deterioro de los amos. Es hoy
una de las curiosidades bibliograficas
de la Biblioteca Insular
Don Jose Umpierre ha regalado a Ia
misma bibliOteca tOdas las obras de
Shakespeare, edici6n inglesa, en- once to-
mos.
Ell doctor Tomas Vazquez regal6 1lti-
mamente la novela titulada "'El Otro ,,
de Eduardo Zamacois.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1913-06-14
NOTAS De CUAYAMA

Hace dos d1as que dieron principle
CON animation eXtraordinaria las fies-
tas que esta ciudad celebra en- honor de
su santo Patron San Antonio de Padua.
Para amenizar los festejos que con este
motive celebra ell Casino Espanol que
dichO sea de paso, son los mas brillantes
que Sc han .anunciado, lleg6 procedente
de Ponce la orquesta "Cocol1a," a la
que Sc lie hizo I'm recibimiento entu-
SHASTA
"A peSar de las fiestas patronales, cele-
bro session aver la Corte de DistritO,
Vi6mdose los iuicios por divorcio, enta-
blados por cllatro matrimonios, que ell
Tribunal declar3 disueltOs. Estos sin
duda, son los que estan mas de fiesta,
por haber logrado sus deseos de romper
los v1nculos que en- cualquier pals son
indisolubles; pero que aqul... Ia
bleau
La Sanidad en- combination con la
Policia, Idemunciaron aver al comercian-
te Manuel Fernandez, NADIA menos que
i213 bollos de pan, por no efar en- bue
mas condolences para ell consume ES
comentada favorabIemente la gesti0n de
aquellos funcionarios que con su acti-
vidad cello, evitan muchas veces que,
a costa de la salud p1blica, llenen sus
cajas con pingjies ganancias, ciertos
desaprensivos industriales.
Ell Corresponsal
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1913-06-14
ART|CULOS De Fk|hl
UNA OF'ICINA BIEN EQUlPADA

mo hace su mejo .esfuerzo por te-
ner su escritorio bien equipado?
Seguramente es Ell pequeno costo de
una verdadera necesidad de toda oici-
ma: la pasta Water-well de pegar, Ia
tinta de sellar Ell 1quido borrador dc
tinta manufacturados por la Carter s
Ink Company no han de ocasionarle
mucho gasto.
Vera las ventajas que ofrecen, son
10 mejor mas ccon6mico
De venta Ell ell BOLETIN MERCAN
TIL
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1913-06-14
INT { RE. ) i i re-:

Si usted quiere vender uzia casa, un
2utonovil, una joya, algo de valor de
arte, ofr$2calos ql1jen pUeda Gom-
pr&rlog.
IL au36a pusGa oo1npGA- sin dlpero?
La gsn1e que 10 Sieno 1ee EL ROr~g-
FIN MEE0A2g TTE&,.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-02-11
A SACRIFICE OF THE BRAVE.

THE LOSS in the Antarctic of Captain Robert Falcon
the British Antarctic expedition and four
his officers comprising the party that made the successful but
fatal dash the Pole filed England with
ing woEd But national pride mingled with
sorrow and all the world share that pride in the manhood
terrible Antarctic soitudes and
having achieved persisted
there the consolation of knowing the fate of these heroes
That melancholy England the
franklin his expedition the Arctic which
May 1S45 with ships and 1874 officers and
returned Fifteen search expeditions afterwards
from England the United States but only traces
the expedition were found including partial record pre-
carn showed that three years after sailing the
that Sir John Franklin had died the
previous and that the party then in dire extremity
afterwards found officer by the
Colonel William H. Glider of this city, and Lieutenant
1879 in their years search King Williams
the Franklin expedition Time has
the memory of that tragedy will that of the de
voted band who dared and died in the Antarctic
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-02-11
NEvADA'S DIVORCE LAW

Immediately after the election in
November it was announced that as
a result of the balloting in Nevada
that state would probably undergo a
legal change rendering it no longer
the mecca of discontinued wives and
husbands seeking short cut to
divorce. says the Washington Star.
Later, however, it was reported that
the forces favoring the continuance
of the short residence and easy
divorce system of the commonwealth
had effected a combination that
would prevent the adoption by a new
legislature of any amendment to the
law. Those who regard Nevada's
chief industry as an undesirable
asset for the State nevertheless per-
sisted. and it now appears that the
public sentiment for amendment
throughout the commonwealth is too
strong to be ignored by the State
legislators. Recently, after a hard
fight, the Assembly by vote of 30
to % passed a bill extending the re-
quired period of residence from six
to twelve months, and now the meas
ure goes to the Senate, where a bitter
fight Is expected. The governor of the
State, however, has himself recon-
mended this legislation, and it is be-
lieved that before the session closes
Nevada will have ordained a change
that will render Reno far less attrac-
tive to the divorce seekers from other
States.
The requirement to remain a year
in Nevada for securing the necessary
residence will doubtless discourage
a great many who would otherwise
make that the haven of their unhap-
piness Still. unless they also change,
Idaho and Texas will continue to Of
fer the advantage of a six-month
residence, with a comparatively easy
range of so-called causes, and it may
be that If the pending Nevada bill
becomes a law the tide will turn to-
ward one of those. South Dakota has
a siX-month law, but this applies only
TO cases in which the causes arise
within the State. For all other cases
one years residence is required. One
year is the rule generally throughout
the United States. Delaware. the Dis
trict of Columbia, Florida, Indiana,
Maryland, New Jersey, Rhode Island
and Tennessee require a residence of
two years, while Alabama, Alaska
and Connecticut require three years
of actual residence and Massachu-
sets from three to five years, accord
ing to the alleged cause for divorce.
Gradually progress is being made to-
ward the uniformity of divorce laws.
but this is a slow process. and mean
while many inconsistencies occur in
the statutes and the result is a ma
tional divorce system without real
definition and dominating principle.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-02-11

By Roy K. Moulton
ACCORDING no UNCLE ABNER.

ACCOHD1NG 10 UNCLE ABNEK.
A lot of fellers who have failed in
everything else think they could run
the village newspaper durn sight
better than the editor does
There are plenty of ways to be on
happy without tryin to settle a
quarrel between a man and wife.
a mail-carrier is a lucky Teller.
When he gets all through with his
days work he don't have nothing to
do until tomorrow
Any Teller who puts up a holler
again the tight skirt is either hypo-
crit or common, ordinary four
flusher. Any Teller who doesn't look
at 'em won't notice nothing objec-
tionable.
One of the best ways to make a hit
with your wife is to write letter to
the newspaper advocating votes for
wimmen.
Hank Tumms fell off'n the top of
the pustoffice and landed on the
cement sidewalk, but escaped unin-
jured, as he didn't strike on a vital
spot. He landed on his head
Elmer Jones is certainly a glutton
for hard luck. Quite recently he took
the canvassing rights fer a patent
corkscrew. After he had paid fer the
rights he found that his territory en-
braced nineteen dry counties.
4 feiler who is easy to get along
with never becomes a great captain
of finance
There are a lot of grocerynen and
butchers who look upon the growing
popularity of the oatmobile with
considerable CONSERVATION
There amt nothing that makes a
Teller feel smaller than to read the
census statistics of the world.
Anse Fr.sbys wife, who has been
down to New York, says while there
she ate some swell Franch dishes,
and Hank Tumm says he would have
to be pretty hungry if he ate a dish,
whether it was a swell French one OF
common chiny one.
About the most inconspicuous kind
of senator to be is an ex-senator
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-02-11
Roller Skating
Leads Many to
Death by Autos
Large Percentage of 1oa Chill
dren Killed in New York City
Slid to Destruction Beneath
Motor Wheels.

The annual report of the National
Highways Protective Society, just
published, shows that 1o3 children
were killed by automobiles last year
in New York city, of whom a large
percentage met their deaths while
roller skatings
The total number of automobile
fatalities for the year was LIT per-
sons, of whom IS were children.
Commenting upon these figures,
Melvin T. Bender chairman of the
legislative committee of the New
York State Automobile Association,
says:
1T will be noted that almost as
many deaths We're caused by horse
This is very remarkable when you
consider the far greater number of
automobiles in the city, especially on
the central thoroughfares and in the
residence districts where children are
at play
Still more remarkable is the stu
alton in view Of the fact that the
horse-driven vehicle IS comparatively
a slow-moving one. Tho automobile,
fast-driven and greater by thousands
in number, is not. according to this
report, markedly more dangerous. If
speed is the great automobile fault,
as some emphat.cally assert, then the
automobile should appear many
times, rather than only IL per cent,
more dangerous
1.-THE fact of the matter is that the
automobile while faster driven is
more carefully driven, moro quickly
comfortable, and is equipped by the
law with a warning signal.
"The drunken or reckless driver of
either vehicle is equally dangerous
and equally a public enemy; but I
think you will find that among motor
lists a far greater proportion than
among horse-drivers have their We
hicles always under good control and
absolutely subordinated to traffic
conditions.
even so, however, the number Of
automobile fatalities is shockingly
great. 1t should and can be reduced.
One way is to secure still more care
full driving through a more rigid ex-
animation for licenses. Equal, If not
greater in Importance, Is the neces-
sity of an adequate warning signal,
one that roller-skating children will
always hear and obey-in time. The
law should compel the proper use of
such a signal"