The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1913-02-27
HOWSAMPRQPOSED
Ended In Force Of Arms. Compul-
sion, eytortion, All That,
and Then Some.
BY JOHN PHILIP ORTIZ.

BY JOHN PHILIP ORTIZ.
Same Andrews was a bachelor OF
40. one OF the three carpenters In
the village OF Dover. Being bach.
elor II was perfectly logical that he
should keep bachelors hall. He had
made his own bed and cooked his own
meals for ten years when things hap
pened.
In preparing his own dinner one
day the bachelor burned the meat, for.
got to put the coffee In the pot with
the water, and fried the potatoes un.
I'll the odor could be scented across
the street. Then he broke a platter.
kicked the cat and went out on the
back steps and said to himself:
Dog gore IT. but Pm a fool"
Mrs. Brown, wife OF his nearest
neighbor. was on her back steps and
saw and heard him and answered:
OF course you are!
Il ought to have a wife"
Everybody knows that"
Il won't stand 1t another MONTH"
DON'T"
But where In Jericho am | going to
get one?"
That's it-where?"
She passed into her house and was
gone ten minutes, while the bachelor
sat and stared at the beet.tops in his
garden and wondered how a Teller
managed to kick himself when he
felt he needed kicking Then she re-
appeared to say:
oh. Sam, come to the fence"
A breast-high fence divided the
lots. and the two were soon leaning
over 1t.
"Well?" Queried the carpenter In q
sulky voice.
You are a single man"
Don't l know that?"
You want a wife"
Il do. I'm gosh.hanged tired Of this
housework."
Say. Sam, can get you q wife in
day"
IL don't believe 1t. Who Is she!"
The widow Martin"
"Why-why." stammered the bache-
wouldn't have the likes OF me"
You can't tell that till you ask her
! happen to think shed Jump at the
chance. We were talking the other
day, and she said-said-!"
Said what?"
I'm not going to do your counting
for YOU" laughed the woman as she
turned away from the fence III |
were q man named Sam Andrews |
know where Id be about s o'clock
this evening"
oh Lord, where?''
Right over at the widows house.
asking her to set the wedding day.
That would be me, but of course you
haven't got much grit. Light your
pipe and think II over"
The carpenter didn't 60 back to his
saw and hammer that afternoon. He
sat for hours with his feet cooked up
and pipe in mouth and went over the
case. He had known the widow Mar
tin for years, and had a good opinion
OF her. He wasn't In love. but he bad
read and heard that that sentiment
would come along a few days after
marriage Should there be calls and
a courtship, or should he transact
business on the plan Of matrimonial
answers given while you waltz" At
shutdown he had decided on the latter
course. II was to be or not to be.
There we're three interested parties
here.
Mrs. Martin. the widow, party Of
the first part
Mrs Brown. party Of the second
part
Sam Andrews. party Of the third
part.
II might seem more than neighbor-
ly for the party OF the second part to
offer her assistance in the emergency
r. corded. The widow was harmless
sort Of fiirt. az all widows have a
right to be. Mrs. Brown was a mar
ried woman. but she liked to fiirt a
little Notwithstanding. But for her
husbands jealous disposition she
might have had more opportunities
10 be restrained while the other was
free CALLED and ranked She had
hoped for years that the widow would
get married and to a mighty jealous
man at that. and thus leave her a
clear field. but no such event had hap
pened. There were nineteen chances
out of twenty that the party OF the
third part would get turned down
with a prompt mo. sir" but the fir
tatious woman wasn't missing any.
thing that came her way. Under 9th,
er conditions she would have told
Sam Andrews that he was bow,back
ed and bow-legged and to go and hire
out to q side show.
AT 8 o'clock that evening the wild.
ow Martin was considerably surprised
to open the door in response to a
knock and find the old bachelor on
the steps. He was dressed In his Sun.
day suit His hair was oiled and his
boots creased. He looked pale. and
4, a., ~