The mirror., 1913-07-10

Hc MIIIOTs tudI any DeWSDaD0
published in the united Kingdom
Solomon islands or Mukilteo. wish.
ing to quadruple its circulation
may do SO by getting on the x.
change list of The Mirror and print.
ing any Of O'C's, Paddy's, II. A. E's
or Sherlox jokes, found therein, as
we have no copy-Right for, 2, or on
them, but we may have copy left
or 2 of back numbers of the b. p.
o. E. (best paper ON EARTH to
wlt:-TLe Mirror,
Fly time is here. Fielders
are catching fys. Time flize, if you
don't believe us ask any fellow in
shop No. p, leaving sune', that
thinks gold is drug on the money
markets of the World, has our Roy
al consent to go into any bank ask
ing for the loan of million or 2,
X dollar gold pieces, provided he
sends the answer he gets from the
cashier to The Mirror. Money fiyz.
Dan Patch" fiiis betwixt o. P.
and N. p.
+. S. B. s. does not mean Oxo-
line as some suppose, ask any Rose
O'Kiilarney and she will say:
away with your Blarney Stone
chatter;" no matter what others may
think we know all. That is Good
and Some that's True. Jokes that's
Old and few that's NJ may be
found in The Mirror, the paper
everyone LIX.
-. The Famine
OF finance is now beginning to
pinch. U. S. Gold is becoming
scarcer every month, even golden
oranges are higher because Martin
sed Luther Burbank was scamp for
grating the orange too the tall
RedWoods of Cal. Receivers were
recently appointed for large r. r.
corporation owing to inability too
meet payments on a few million
dollars worth of bonds which had
another eastern road did
not declare the usual quarterly div
idend at it's last meeting and the
same was done by large industrial
corporation. These are merely
straws showing which way the wind
is blowing. Within a year, neither
K. r. or industrial corporations will
be able to pay dividends on their
stock because London, Paris and
Berlin are still selling Am. securi-
ties.
Stocks listed on the N. Y. stock
xchange have declined several bill
lion dollars in value since last fall
and they haven't reached the bottom
yet. Verify | say unto thee. the
Panic of 1914 will be one never to
be forgotten, for the time of trouble
or tribulation as the bible has it, the
like of which was never seen since
the world began nor ever will be
seen again, has already begun. And
this is merely the prelude to the
Prologue of the Funniest Farce ever
written, namely: End o. The
In it will be found
Whittier witticisms than any ever
propounded by Solomon or any of
he Wise men of the East, West,
North or South, for the author was
Pegasus Prize Pupil.
END O. The World"
In XIV Acts.-1915 Scenes and
Prologue.
But before beginning this tire
tale, mot of a kangaroo
out of the most Titanic Tragedy
ever staged, before or since the
Morning Stars first sang in har-
nony at the Dawn of Creation, we
will state few facts:
We are now nearing the 'kloz
as the Lady G. said near the end |
If her famous ride in Coventry of
he sorrows mentioned in a prev
Gus contribution to The Mirror.
The Famine" (of financej spok-
IN of by Daniel, is now overspread-
ng the world. All commercial ma
ions have the yellow Fever" that
s, they are crying for Gold the
way kids cry for Mrs. What's her
lames's" 'soodin' Syrup.
Argentina, Brazil and Chile in
South America, want to borrow
to develop their resoul ces.
China has been trying for over a
rear to borrow 125 million dollars
rom the Powers" The U. S. was