The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-13

liver deficit alcohol on tn prisdint's brcath3'
Niver, hiven is ME Judge declared tn
witnesses in ringin' tones.
Whin it come tn turn v tn poor idjtor man
ne wasn't able to presint single witness to prove
that llddy was dpsomanyac. No, sir iv all tn
people that were ready to take their oath that
they'd seen our hayro whn he was filter fr an
ambulance thin Office divvle tn wan turned
up at his call TO go on tn stand SO he was
Obliged to do tn manly thing iv rcatiin' docy-
mint conainin' account v his own noble life
with few wurrlids on tn circulation v his excel
lent pa-aper an its value as an advertisin'
IneeJum, an acknowledged that he had tossed off
tn lie undher tn imprisson that it was tn thruth
because it was in tn heat iv I'll, campaign an he
didn't expict to be sued but he was glad he had
been, an there nawthin' f.. hin, to do but
admit that his witnesses had run out on him an
he cuddent prove anything This handsome
apology was accepted tn jury give verdict "
SIX cints damages, tn colonel says, a gloryors
victhry, be George tn dtor STINT over an Dor
rowed tn money firm tn foreman, an tn colonel.
attnded be his calvacadc v breath investigators,
returned home with tn cash junglin' in his pock-
ets-vindcated
wondher what it's comm to- Mex year
expict to see banners in front ~ headquarthcrs
sayin', Vote f'r Higgins His breath is ba'my,'
or Sullivan an sody,' or tn like iv that VIII it
come about that whin an orator gets up to
advocate candydatc he'll be complied to say
whether ne has or has not made personal invis-
tigaton iv tn candidates Civilizations? VIII
comfy be called beure tn convin,ion to report
that they have made scarchin' inquiry into III
oandydate's breath f'r two months an without
SrC)D' 1tC rth lie
that it has showed no signs ~ alcohol If SO,
Hinnssy, I'm goin out " poytcks an into
dcntisthry.
But what can't understand Hinnssy, is
why if this here shellac that beams down on US
firm tn shelves is SO bad to take tn govcrrli1,t
shud go into partnership with thin that ellis IT,
Here's me frind Dock Wilson an me frnd Viii
lum McAdoo an me frind Willum Jennings
Bryan settin' together discussin' tn report IL tn
screty iv tn threasury. Mack says tn prisi-
dint, hope we don't drink sincerely hope
so, too say. tn sicrey ~ state drink very
little says tn sicrcty ~ tn thrcasury Don't do
it at all, says tn prsidint It's tur-rbc habit
Drink is tn curse iv modhren civilization 1t
fills our citizens an fills our jas an our PM
tnchries, insane asylunls an our wurruk
houses with citizens. Stop it now. Ye say
II
too NANNY. Reminder tn rapids ARE
below. We will now take up tn, FINANCIAL re-
poort' he says Well says tn sicrcty iv tn
threasury TO begin with I'm glad to tell We that
tn intarnal rivnoo receipts f'r tn comm year will
be about myon dollars more thin they were
last year l base these figures on tn ncreasin'
thirst v our people How spndd.' says tn
prisidint. I name how tur-rblc. How tur-rbly
he says. This is good news indeed says VIII
um Jennings Bryan.
An there ye ARE l can't make it out, but
there's lots iv things in tn wurruld that can't
make out. I suppose tn govcrInnt is like mesilf
No wan Is more Nv tirnprance advocate thin
am, f'r I've had expeeryance ii We think It's
pleasure fr me to stand here ladln out this
household anmonya an listcnin' to tn harsh
sounds it we to mistake f'r conversation We
don't know me If I had me way an didn't love
tn beautiful sthream whose banks I've lived
these NANNY years I'd take all tn stuff in thin
bottles an poor thin into tn Chicago river.
wud So | don't understand how amy wan paws
me FIR it. 1t wud be just reasonable fr We to
say, Here take two dollars an hit me over tn
head with TIL bung starter 1t wud be more SO,
Fl in that case yc wuddent come back f'r more.
But what am to do! pose tn governnt an
mesilf ARE in TIL same box. We both have to
be supported, an this is tn ony way we know.
An it's pretty good sign that tn people ARE
sowin down on tn stuff whin our statesn,in
ARE askin' all tn wurrud to step up an have
smell FIR statesman, Hinnissy, is fellow that
finds out which way tn procissyon is goin' an
thin runs out an grabs tn stick away firm tn
dhrum najor."
:" Ye don't think T. R. liver dhrank too much.
do We ," asked Mr. Hennessy