Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-08-07
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

Has it ever occurred to you that
birds come from eggs, not birdseed.
Ride hobby if so inclined, but don't
play horse with your friends,
If neighbors had their way there
would be more divorces than there are
No young man ever climbed the ladder
of success with bottle of whiskey in
his pocket.
Another reason for the high cost of
living is that a man who can't tell
wool from cotton will bet you he can
!. tell rye from bourbon.
That 80 cents reported in the county
fund couple of weeks ago is still on
hand and the chances are that the
amount will not be lowered.
the old fashioned man who used to
go to bed with the chickens on the
farm. now has son who stays up all
night chasing them in the city.
When the girl you took for better or
worse tries to please you with a new
dish which turns out scorched or burnt,
don't knock" Simply say to her:
well done"
You don't have to go on an ocean
voyage to get seasick. just stick
around and listen to the sixteen-year.
old Audubon girls talking to their fel.
lows over the telephone.
Nevertheless the farm owner who
''hollers" over the actual value of his
acreage as set by the executive council
can test the matter by offering it for
sale at the assessment figures.
Sore throat, ehH Get your wife to
give you one of her old stockings to
wrap around your neck" Tried that
and it did me no good. She had moth
ing but these new tangled openworks. "
Old-fashioned boys and girls used to
court around for six months before
they dared hold hands Nowadays
they start in hugging the first time they
meet and this was demonstrated in
the city park only last week
While some people are so anxious to
investigate the affairs of the county
why wouldn't it be good idea to ex-
tend the investigation 10 include the
affairs of the town the past seven years
and see where some of the towns money
has gone?
The latest mention of a democratic
candidate for senator includes one Mr..
Murphy who ran against Haugen and
kicked on the umpire's decision. The
Teutonic Pepper had best watch out
for the Hiberian from the Fourth. Be
it known that ''the Irish can take care
of themselves"
Its just as we'll that there are no
plush. family albums these
days. If there were, the picture of
mother sitting in chair with father
standing beside her would be replaced
by post card showing mother sitting
on fathers lap in a studio automobile
and big sign: ''Oh, You Kid" in
the background.
Two young ladies who have been at.
tending strictly to their duties for sever
al years past are soon to take vaca-
ton and will spend several months in
the south and west. They are too busy
at home to give their gentlemen friends
much time and consideration but hope
to find a little spare time to devote to
sociability while taking their vacation.
A popular young lady of this town,
who has been the recipient of many
favors from gentleman friend who
does not live in Audubon, is the object
of little gossip just at present. A
very close and intimate friend of hers
was told that it was reported she was
soon to be married but she refused to
believe it for no ring has been in evil
dence, although other jewelry has been
sent to her from time to time.
A young Audubon husband reached
home Tuesday morning. and found his
young wife in tears. She had learned
that her husband was fond of cake
''Oh, Dearie," she sobbed on his
shoulder. II had baked lovely cake
and put it out on the porch for the
frosting to dry and the dog ate it.
We'll, don't cry aboutit, sweetheart,
he cOnsoled, patting the pretty flushed
cheek. II know man who will give
us another dog"
A little amber fluid party near
school house the other evening caused
the wife and mother to offer stern
protest. But the boys had been work
ing hard all day and when by mere
chance keg of the thirst quencher
was discovered it was more than the
ordinary fellow could stand. 1t is not
generally known where the key came
from but several are familiar with
what became of its contents. But I'M
derstand US, the women did not par
ticipate in the distribution.
Two women engaged in little fistic
encounter recently. Late in the even
ing the sheriff and his deputy were