El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-12-13
BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER.


ance, "is crowdin' the race 20 the WALL
That SOP said Uncle Ashdod care
Iessly. We'll, as I was a-goin' to say
this here Cap'n Orlando Virgins
| wasn't no idjit The only trouble with
| him was that he wasn't content. So he
! looked at this island L was teAln you
! about"
| you never said a word about an
| island" said Sim Perkins angrlIy.
You never said word about no Cap n
| Orlando Virgins You Just start our
and yank yarn in by the seat OF the
| brooches, and
| See here!' said Uncle Ashdod. 'In
| the first place yarn don't have no
! breeches, and in the second place L
/ SAYS to Cap'n Orlando, L says, Cap n,
/ this here island amt big enough.
| Big enough for What? asked sim
| Perkins, in spite of himself.
big enough for livery STABLE, SAID
Uncle AshdOd. And it wasn't. And
I told him So But he went right
ahead and built it And 1 must say IT
was a mighty up to date and complete
| livery stable. 1t had everything into
it a livery stable ought to have except
bosses and rigs, so says, orlando L
SAYS, what's the use of havin' a livery
rigs TO deliver out to folks that wants
to hire them% So he hltched up his
pants on one side, and cooked up his
eye, and spit into the OCEAN
Sim Perkins, in vexed tone. Was you
on the seashOre, or was you on ship,
or where was your
I'VE was in Cap'n Orlando Virgins
livery stable, of course" said Uncle
Ashdod. I'VE was sittin' in the door
way watchin' the waves slap up against
the door sill"
You was, hey? What was II,
floOd?' asked Sim Perkins.
Flood, nOthin" said Uncle Ashdod.
at was the Ocean-the Atlantic ocean.
That was where Cap'n Orlando built
his livery stable, out on this island in
the Atlantic Ocean, 2 miles from no
where, as you might say Virgins
Island, it was called, and it belonged
to Cap'n Orlando, and it had belonged
to his pa, and TO his grandpaP, and to
his greatgrandpap, and to
''An the way back to Adam" said
Sim Perkins restlessly.
Purity Nigh" said Uncle Ashdod.
"And 'tWasn't much of an island no
how Twas bout as big as a livery
stable, sol when Cap'n Orland got the
livery stable built on il there wasn't
no room for nothing else The livery
stable plumb covered the WhUll island.
So
why did tn crazy idjit build a liv-
cry stable on an island like that?'
asked Sim Perkins with evaporation.
''Seventy-tWO miles from land and no
room for nOthin' on the island but the
stable? I can't see"
Because that was the only island
he had" said Uncle AshdOd.
why didn't he build it on some 9TH
er land" asked Sim Perkins.
Because that island was the only
land he had" said Uncle AshdOd. Il
spoke to Cap'n Orlando about that my
self. because II seemed sort of Mummy
to me. Why in tarnation did you come
way out here to this island to build a
livery stable, Orlando% says Well
says he, I always reckoned that when
7 rnN oil ezaTN = rTTrT q
livery stable, and when I got old and
was ready to build I didn't have but
enough money to build the stable, and
none to buy ground to put il on, but
I owned this island Ny pa had owned
it and"
And so on back to Adam, If not
further" said Sim Perkins
''Yupi Or words to that effect" said
Uncle Ashdod- tAnd he says, so
what's the use wantin' what you can't
have The way to be happy is to be
contented with what you got he says,
so l come out here and built me
And no hossesi And no rigsi And
no" began Sim Perkins.
so I told him." said Uncle Ashdod.
Il says that very thing in them same
words, or others equally good. You
'tarnal old idjitP I says you amt got
enough sense to chew hayI I says.
You amt got no bosses and you amt
got no rigs, and If you did have no
to hire rig from you There amt no
reason for me to worry whether they
would come Y mixes from shore he
says, because there amt nobody lives
on that shore anyway. I amt goin'
to worry about folks comm from
where there amt no folks I seen there
was good enough sense in that And
furthermore he says, 7 amt goin' to
worry about folks comm or not, be-
cause l amt got no bosses or rigs TO
let out to EN- If they did come. And
l amt goin' to worry about havin' no
bosses and rigs, because there amt
EN- And I amt goin' to worry nohow,
because If there was folks, and they
came, and did have bosses and rigs
to let out to 'em, there amt nowhere
for folks to drive HOSES and rigs.
There amt no use wOrryin' for what
you hain't got and can't have he
says"
IF I was goin' to run a livery sta
BILE" said Sim Perkins, I'D want
70 u'd want it to be a garage" said
Uncle AShdOd- And when you had a
garage you'd want a couple of fleets
OF ocean liners, Just like other folks
want. And you'd want a phonygraft
and foot power piano and a steam
yacht and limousine and palace and
Il servants, and then you'd kick about
the high cost of Twin. You wouldn't be
contented with a NICE cosy, little Iiv-
cry stable that was able to run itself
like Cap'n Orlando's, would your
Y eS 1 would" said Sim Perkins. IF
had a livery stable I'd be better off
than am. All I got is 40 or so Gus
toners that buy clans off of me, but
man with a livery stable"
"A man with a livery stable that /
don't fetch in money has got to spend
money to keep it up" said Uncle Ash
ood. "A livery stable like that one
Cap'n Orlando had amt nothin' but
luxury. The only reason he wanted |
a livery stable was because other folks |
had livery stables No man is goin' to /
think up out Of his own head, startin' !
livery stable on twO-by-fOur desert /
island unless he's took notice of livery /
stables other folks have. And got to /
covetin' 'em. High cost of Twin kickin' !
comes mostly from twO-by-fOur desert |
Island income folks that want to be 1
decked out in livery stable Injuries I ]
reckon. Livery stable What a Teller 1
ought to have on q twO-by-four island !
wasn't livery stable but a shanty |
and told Cap'n Orlando so. I says, Or
lando, you amt no init. but you're one !
of these here fellers that can't be con-
tented unless he's got a lot of fixins
ne amt got no real use for
Thought you said he was so full Of /
contentment it run out Of his ears" \
said Sim Perkins, scornfuIly
so I did. So he was" said Uncle |
Ashdod- But that was the day he |
got his livery stable completed Bout
a month later he got a bad attack OF !
this here what vOu might call CraoF I