The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-20
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Laugh With Us [
Little Stories That Have Z
Made Many Smiles.

The Rev. DR.. John Wesley Hill Of
New York told the following story
the other night in illustration Of a
point he wished to make:
Il am reminded" he said. of the
1rishman whose alarm clock stopped
running. He shook it. but it would
not run. He waited. but it did not
improve. and then, one day. he took
the back out of it. looked in. and saw
a dead cock-roach. 'Shure enough
said he. I've diskivered the dihiculty.
The engineer id dead.'"
A teacher in a tenement district
hurried from the school to find the
mother of a pupil who had been TAX
en- i'll.
Can YOU show me where Mrs, An
cello Scandale lives::" she inquired Of
a cherub transplanted from the sum
ny south to a dark, sunless alley.
Yes. teach. I show you,' and a
willing, sticky hand dragged her on
with such speed as to make her STUN
bic over an Italian dame seated on
the threshold.
After the teachers breathless fight
toward the clouds the little hano
stopped Juggling.
There where Mees Scandale live
indicated the horizontal arm and fin
ger, but she downstair sitting on the
STEP finished the smiling lips.
Old Lady Ito motorman on her first
drive on an electric tram)-Would II
be dangerous. conductor, IL 1 was to
put my foot on the rail?
Motorman ian Edison manoue)-
No, mum, not unless YOU was to put
tne other one on the overhead wire.
The unconscious humor Of country
Journalism. says William Allen White.
is often more amusing than the best
EFFORT of the alleged funny man,"
According to Mr.. White. there once
appeared IN a kansas paper the fol-
Our prominent towneman. Theo.
dore Monkton, Is seriously i'll. He il
being attended twice a day by DR..
smith. In consultation with DR.. Nor
gan. His recovery, therefore. n in
great doubt"
Mandy is but a little girl-a little
colored girl, trying hard to learn how
to be a good housemaid. The other
day she came to her employer and
handed her a calling card.
DE lady what glib me dis ia in de
parlor.' she explained. "Dey's an
oder lady on de steps"
Goodness. Mandy" exclaimed the
lady, shocked and troubled. why
didn't you ask them both in J"
"kase. Miss Murphy" grinned
Mandy. de M on de do'step done
She walked in and banged a hunk
Of yellow substance on the counter.
This" she announced rcastically,
lis the soap that does the washin' it.
self. It's the soa that makes wash
ing a pleasure: it's the soap that"
That amt soap. ma'am," inter-
rupted the grocer, as he took the sub
stance in hand and examined It.
Your little girl was here yesterday.
for half a pound Of cheese and half
a pound Of soap. That's the cheese"
The cheese" exclaimed the wo-
other thing"
What other thing?"
Why. lay awake the whole night
wondering what made the Welsh rab-
bit we had taste so queer"
The Sunday morning service had
been arranged to the satisfaction of
the pastor. but. the clerk telephoned
up that n or two Of the hymns
would have to he changed.
I'll never have the courage to
chalk those numbers down on the
bulletin board in the order Of selec-
ton" he said.
why not?" the pa stor asked.
Why. just look at the numbers"
a the clerk. "4-11-44. The con-
creation would have a ft."
The choir began the hymn. When
they came to the line. Neither are
they afraid" the composer Of the
music had SO written It that it had
to be repeated first by the soprano,
then by the alto and finally by the
bass. The soprano seemed to be of
conservative taste and sang the line,
Neither are they afraid" Apparent
ly h alto had departed from the us
age of her f%ortfathers. for when she
brought out the words they became,
"Nither are they afraid" and It be-
came a serious question which side
the bass would take. The bsss wal
an Irishran. GU rolled his rich
voice, ."Nay-ther are they afraid"
And the question remained unset
tied. -,