The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-10-15

~ w DiSohISu Il NOuNR,
recently married couple who have
beer having the usual half pathetic
and wholly amusing experiences Incl
dent to somewhat limited means and
total lneXperience. Last Saturday there
was a hitch in the delivery of the
marketing. and Sunday found them
with n practically empty larder. When
Inner time came the young wife burst
into ears.
oh. this is HORRIBLE she wept.
Not a thing in the house lit for a
dog to eat. | am going home to
mammal"
IL YOU don't mind. dear" the hus.
band exclaimed, as he visibly bright
ened and reached for his hat, iii go
with you!'
Bessie was sitting on the hotel We.
randa n afternoon. when another
child, gaudily dressed. began to pa
rade up and down before her. flirting
her fan and swishing her skirts airily,
Bessie stood it as long as she could,
but finally burst out:
Dresses an fans does not make
ladies'"
But they helps" the other flung
back over her shoulder as she saun-
tered blythe D%elineator.
A western physician has two chill.
dren Ernest and Alice. aged 9 and
~, respectively. Recently the doctor
and his wife made a Weekend trip
to the country. leaving the children
at home with the servants. They
were to return Monday night on a
train due at 10 O'Clock. The children
wanted TO meet them at the depot.
and OF course received definite in
structions not to do so.
When the parents arrived, at 1880,
their train being an hour and a half
late they We're surprised t. find Err
nest u Alice waiting for them, and
all alone. The mother rushed forward
10 expostnlate. but was cut off by the
shrin Voice of Alice crying: Hurry
UP, mother. Don't stop to talk. The
taxi's up to $3.50 already"
Are you still taking a cold. plunge
every morning."
No, quit. doing that to save
time"
Why. a cold plunge doesn't take
more than n minute or two"
Il know. but I used to spend three.
quarters of an our curled up in bed
h%esitating."
a shamhling old colored man wen,
down the street leading a big dog
WIN a ioI tSd1t Sign OIL lCS COildT
A little girl spied the dog and want.
ed it. She tessed 80 hard that he,
mother finally asked its price.
Two dollahs" said the negro, ar
expectant grin dividing his features
TWO dollars" exclaimed the lady
Why, h dog isn't worth that much
I'll give you so cents.
The negro drew himself up indiz
nantly. Lady" he said. "Ah couldn'
think Of it. Why. de fellow All got Ill.
dog from gave me a dollah to get rio
Of him!"-Everybody's Magazine.
Mother--What are you doing. Har
ry?
Hsrry--rm countin.' You told M
when got mad to a hundred
Mother-Yes, SO l did.
Harry--We]l, I've counted two hun
dred and thirty-seven. and I'm mad
der'n when 1 started.
a little southern girl was sent to
boarding school in New York. Whel
taken. for a walk she seemed to b,
much interested in watching the au
tomobiles.- After. a while she pointed
chimes and timidly inquired: "Wh,
do they carry life preservers:"
At a Highland gathering one Don
aid MacLean had entered for a mum
Der Of events. The first of thes'
was Il. nnarter mile. Donald certainl,
didn't distinguish himself in the quar-
ter mile. OF eight runners he va
last.
Donald. Donald" cried a partisan
why did We no run faster"
Run f~aster?" he said contemptu
ously. And me rescrvin' myself TO
the bagpipe competition:"