The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-09-16
by THE WAY
BIZ HARVEY PARSONS.

B. L. T., of the Chi. Trib., calls
upon all loyal dance fans for an an
swer to the weighty problem; How
rich would you have to be before pay
ing Ruthie st. Dennis $4,000 to dance
one night?'' We play in brush
league, as compared to real dance
fans, but venture that we would nave
to be mighty-AWFUL rich to pay
Ruthle more than 81 cents, after see
ing Hon. r. earle and Uncle Jawge
Primrose several times on choice Of
flee passes
P. ct S.-We have seen also Hon.
Ruthie. In fact, we have seen ma
jor portion of Hon. Ruthie. con a
pass, as per former paragraph
Art Pelky's Confession clears him
of having slaughtered McCarty with
malice aforethought. No Mcpherson.
Intentionally start anything serious
with another he-person.'
1t has been discovered by Scotland
Yards detectives that 800 Suffs have
pistol range in Lunnon. In the in
terests of 'populationap' economy,
they should insist that the range be
moved into a deep cellar with one
narrow entrance. A closed cellar or
deep cistern with a cement cover
are the only proper places for a
woman with a gun.
A sudden change of weather is a
pest to the man with a long railway
trip ahead of him. Witness the case
of the gentleman who arrived in To-
peka Sunday morning with straw
hat. On twelve-block street car ride
he was the center of attraction for 20
local boobs who wore last year hats
@F 10o1
games for the NooYoik Choinal. Like
Miss May Irwin, whom she resembles
in newspaper halftone, her comedy
falls fiat in print. With a poke bon
net and hoop skirt she could put her
baseball stuff across the incan-
descents. May Irwin couldn't make
20 beans per week if she peddled hers
through an expert stenographer.
Lawrence Journal thinks all news
papers should have convictions As
this department has been primarily
responsible for certain damage suits
of the past, we differ; what a news
paper needs most is plenty of ac-
quittals.
Another mystery has been cleared
by mental process and not by any
article in a scientific magazine. We
had wondered for a full year why
politicians crushed into our crowd
and greeted US as Charley Sessions"
1t is because Dame Nature has so
arranged it that the same 22-calibre
voice seepS out of two different Al
calibre men. (Height only is used in
the comparison following vocal like
ness.) Charles has a distin guished
look that should be remembered by
even a scrub politician.
Yesterdays revelation of a New
York murder mystery should be
enough to warn newspaper writers
a gainst slamming a political party be-
cause it contains crooks. One crook
crept into the Catholic Priesthood
the closest corporation in the world
of close corporations.
ApropoS paragraf some spaces aloft:
The only things a woman can hit
with a pistol are a husband or an
innocent bystander.
Someone has inspected the laws of
North Carolina, and finds that it is
80 days inside,-by state law, to, ION
any public highway, in the hearing of
two or more persons, in a loud and
manner, use profane or in
decent language. But the next section
of the law exempts 81 counties of the
state from the provisions of the act. .
if you think of making an
auto trip through Moth alma, keep
within those 21 counties. You might
blow a tire.