davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
All NJ Sea.

my friends" fervently exclaimed
one Of the temperance spellbinders In
the recent campaign for local option
in an upstate county. III all the q,
looms were at the bottom Of the sea,
what would be the inevitable result p
And from the rear came the an,
swer: Lots Of people would get
drowned" Gargoyle.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Seeking knowledge,

The Professor-A species of white
ants, called termite. Is noted for ita
high hills or dwellings. II the houses
of men were proportionately high. size
for size. the humblest cottage would
be a mile in height.
The Student-N0w, professor, will
you please figure 1t out and tell us
proportionately just where the root
of the modern skyscraper would be?
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11

For a. great
many years l
have been gath
ering statistics
as to the effects
Of Peruna when
taken for Ca
tarr b al de-
rangements. !
have on hand
thousands of
unsolicited tes-
timonials from
people In all
stations of life,
who claim that
a I t err m a n y
years futile at,
tempts to rid
themselves OF
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
The Wretch.

Il am afraid my husband n LEND
ing q double lffe."
"Heavens! What has aroused you,
suspicions?"
HE sneaked ffty cents out Of hia
pay envelope last week. and triea
when I found It out. to make ma
think he had done It BY mistake.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
|F POULTRY
WXV<l|
TURKEYS READY FOR MARKET
There Never Has Been More Active
Demand for Good Birds Than
at Present-Ways Of killing.
By T. F. M'GREw.)

By T. F. M'GREW.)
After turkeys are grown and ready
for market, quite as much care and
attention should be given to the kill
ing and shipping as to the proper
growing. When these tnings can not
be done to good advantage, it is bet
ter to sell them alive. Buyers who
are prepared to kill. dress. pack and
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Their Cinch.

"Guns have an easy job, haven't
they?"
How do you mean"
They're employed only to be
fred"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Evolution 81 the Mortaaae.

Farming methods have changed.
haven't theyr"
Yep" replied Farmer Corntossel.
Now q man thinks he's unlucky II he
has to borrow money on his place.
He used to think be was lucky II he
was able to-"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11

The mills of the gods are never shut
down on account of strike.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Shoppers cramp.

Simeon Ford, at dinner of hotel
men in New York, discussed a new
disease.
There's a new disease called shop
per's cramp," he said. 1T appears
early in December, becomes violent
ly epidemic about the middle of the
month and ends suddenly on the eve
ming of the Gath.
Women feel shoppers cramp in
the arms, the limbs, everywhere; but
it attacks the husband only In one
place-the pocket"
In the Night Editors Room.
Here's a long story about that
storm on the lake the other day. Want
it cut DOWN."
Does it begin, The storm beggars
description?
"Yes."
"Well, run that. and cut out the de-
scription."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11

Playwright think / saw you 60
Ing in to see the opening perform
ancee Of my play last night, didn't L?
The Critic-Yes. and 1t was late
when l got out.
Playwright-What? Why. the final
curtain fell at 1851 exactly.
The Critic--I know, but l oversight
myself.
Perfectly Plain.
Il wonder" said the youthful stu
dent. how the prodigal son came to
20 broker"
Il suspect" replied Farmer Corn
tossel, 1T was because he spent his
time in town hangin' around talkin'
about how to uplift the farmer"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
The Condition.

"Can your wife keep secret?"
Certainly. If there II nobody around
for her to tell k 10"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11

Keep Out the Frost.
There should never b frost n ths
ban house.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Let's Have It.

Let's Have It.
This high cost Of living II seri-
Gus question" bawled the campaign
orator. IT'S great question. > very
serious question. indeed"
We know it's question: yelled
. coarse man in the audience. ~WAat's
the answer"-TopekaC Capital.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11
Undesirable olfts.

Bikon-Well. l suppose both youB
sweethearts gave You something Ton
Christmas? What was It?
Tilton (sourly) -Mittens.- judge.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1913-01-11

Yes. / really must go tomorrow"
You can just as we'll stay till Mon
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
FRAGILlTY OUT OF FASHION
Girls Of Today Seek Health and Take
the Right Way to Secure
the Blessing.

II is no longer fashionable with the
fair sex to feign delicacy, nor are the
girls of the coming generation actual
ed by all insane desire to appear fra
gile and genteel at the expense of
health. The scores of buxom, bright
eyed young ladies one will meet in
any Of our public thoroughfares any
afternoon is ample evidence of the
truth of the assertion, says Woman
Life. No longer do the fair ones seem
wan and pale to look upon, nor is their
style of locomotion suggestive of eff
fort; but, on the contrary, nearly all
seem strong and 1.-the of limb, and
with cheeks suffused with the ruddy
glow of health. Doctors generally
agree that there is far less sickness
among the sex than had formerly been
the case, and this could be attributed
solely to the glorious practice young
ladies have of late acquired of testing
their capabilities as pedestrians, and
In engaging in other forms of light
physical exercise. 1t is to be hoped
that the good work will go on.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
UMBRELLA CASE OF VALUE
Idea Is to Match the Costume, and
the Vogue Is Rapidly Becoming
Fashionable.

Because of the tremendous vogue
of velvets and the number of cos
tunes in that material that are being
made up, the velvet-encased umbrella
has come into being. Made on q
slender but substantial frame, which
folds closely, and covered with silk
taffeta spread, the umbrella when
closed and encased appears like a
walking stick OF velvet from fer5ule
to top. A solid silver monogram
plate caps tn. handle, WHICH, ten
inches down It's length. is orDa nented
with double ring of silve:
Decided colors are now the smart
thing in silk umbrellas. All the fash.
ionable shades of purple, blue, mauve
and the new reds are in demand for
spreads, which are mounted upon
frames that press tightly about a
slender stick and give the convenience
the appearance of silken cane This
fashionable fad is to procure unique
handle for the umbrella that is car.
rled with the tailored walking suit,
and while some of the effects are ar.
tlstlc, others are actually bizarre
Among the latter are the cat, parrot
and monkey heads in natural colors
with jewels for eyes. In the former
class are all manner of beautifully
carved handles Of rare woods and
ivory, and when money is not All OBJ
Ject, Of jade, amber, rock crystal OF
solid silver and gold
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

life tn1ls for is diplomacy, and d.
plomacy with it's coat on at that.
When man gets to speaking his
mind to his wife, he generally winds
up by believing it, and then there's
all kinds of trouble. Poor dear Henry
Merriwid got to be- perfectly sincere
with me at one period of our happy
life together. l remember one time
1 asked him what he thought of new
dress l had just put on.
"'My dear, said poor Henry, 4
won't attempt to deceive you. l think
it's the sloppiest looking thing, the
most unbecoming. botchy, skew-geed
waste of material I ever saw in my
life. The color makes me sick, and
the trimming gives me a pain in the
back of the neck. 1t looks as if it
had been designed by a cross-eyed
house painter, suffering from delirium
tremens, and put together by a sail
makers apprentice with sore thumb.
What is ia masquerade costume?'"
What did you say" inquired Aunt
Jane.
1 /
seem to like it because it was going
to lower his bank account seventy-five
dollars replied Mrs. Merriwid. 1T
was the most devilishly cruel thing l
could think of at the moment. But
cured poor Henry of plain speaking
habit with him.
NO." Mrs. Merriwid resumed, Il
think most of your fine, rugged, bluff,
straightforward men. with no shilly-
shallying nonsense about them, need
plain, hearty, straightforward kick
ing. The trouble with them generally
is that they're too big. 1t takes big
man to tell people the unvarnished,
unsweetened truth about themselves,
and get away with it. A fine, full
bodied man like Mr. Pikestaf, for ex-
ample. with collection of good. hon.
est Anglo-Saxon language.
Il suppose there are moments in
every married woman's life when she
realizes that her husbands behavior
is foolish" Mrs. Merriwid went OF
He may, on some occasions, act like
hog or cur, but believe me, auntie
it doesn't do any good to tell him so
You'll get better results by letting
him suppose that in your estimation
he's about the wisest, most generous
and noble specimen of humanity that
ever happened, because, as a general
thing, his vanity will make him try
to sustain your delusion-and that lit
tie old rule goes double every time
You see, dearie, man may act like
a hog and not be a hog, and a woman
may act like fool and yet have CON
siderable sense tucked away under
her puffs. Anglo-Saxon is all right
when it isn't Billingsgate, but some
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

roses and leaves, from Catherine, and
a pretty collar OF lace footing from
Mary. My dearly beloved gave NE a
ruby ring the emblem Of eternal fidel-
ity and love" The dearly beloved"
later.
"Christmas Day was indeed a joyful
one; after we had seen all our gifts
all the young people went to the hill
back Of the house and coasted for Two
hours on the hard crust Of ice and
snow the distance from the top of the
hill to the gulf ravine was nearly a
,.i!e''
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
MELISSA WOULD LIKE TO Bl
CANDID HERSELF.

you seem thoughtful this evening,
Melissa" remarked Mrs. Merriwid's
maternal maiden aunt Jane, looking
at her niece over the rims of the
spectacles that she wore in the priv
acy of family life. I
Mrs. Merriwid stopped frowning at
far corner of the room and laughed.
Il get that way about every so often,
dearie," she replied. sometimes,
oftener still. Just now l was thinking
of Mr. Pikestaff He's been making
his intentions quito plain and I was
trying to frame up a few well-chosen
words for use when needed"
ITO what effect?" inquired Aunt
Jane, with interest.
Il really can't say what the effect
will be-" said Mrs. Merriwid Il hope
it won't shatter the windows, but Mr..
Pikestaff has theory that language
was given us to express our feelings,
candid opinions are calculated to pre-
cipitate heavy rainfall. He's man
of decided views.
HE impresses me as being very
genuine" Aunt Jane observed.
LAS genuine as mud pie,' agreed
Mrs. MerriWid "A downright, out
spoken, homespun, frank rhinestone
in the rough. There are no frills about
Mr.. Pikestaff. Nothing namby-pamby
or wishywashy. He believes in giving
things their DrOner names-With q
few qualifying adjectives thrown in
If he doesn't agree with you, he'll
take the liberty of telling you so, and
if you don't like it, you can do the
other thing
Il can't help thinking that sincerity
is an admirable quality" Aunt Jane
remarked.
mot in a husband at least. dearie,
said Mrs. MerriWid. What married
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

bull-necked, big-mouthed gentlemen
never seem to get wise to the distinc
ton. If pay twenty-five dollars for
hat, l don't want the partner of my
joys and sorrows to tell me that it's
a piece of silly, wanton extravaganza
and that I'm not fit to be trusted With
money any more than rabbit. If he
lets out a long, low whistle, that's
about as far as he has any right to
co."
II agree with you there" said Aunt
Jane; but. surely Mr.: Pikestaff has
not presumed to use any language OF
that nature to you
mot directly" replied Mrs. Merri-
wild II imagine he means to be com
plimentary to me- I'm a plain man,
Mrs. Merriwid,' he told me, and you
mustn't expect any soft soap and but
ter from me- I say what mean and
mean what 1 say, and don't believe In
splitting hairs; and l tell you right
out and to your face that you're a
COMPOUNDED smart woman, and con-
founded good looking woman, by
George! You know what's what and
who's who, and I don't make any
bones of saying so. There amt any
two ways about it. You're smart and
you're good looking, and if any man
tells me any different, I'll tell him
that he's a liar. 1 don't smooth il
over. I'm not mealy mouthed like
some folks. I mean that he's a lial
and I say that he's liar, and that's
all there is about it.
THAT does seem complimentary
said Aunt Jane. But what do yor
think you'll say to him when he actu
ally proposes?"
II was considering that when 20,
! Gisregarded the signals and collidet
with my train of thought" Mrs. Merri
wild answered. II shall say, Mr. Pike
staff, I'm a plain, blunt woman ane
I'm not going to be mealy mouthed O.
fnicking with you. l think tina
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

you're big, whopper-jawer, pig-head-
ed, sty-bred aggregation of noisy bluff
and bunk, and I wouldn't marry you
if you were eighteen-carat gold plated
and the last chance l had on EARTH"
"Oh, you wouldn't say that, my
dear" demonstrated Aunt Jane.
Mrs. Merriwid sighed. No. she
admitted, Il don't suppose l would.
expect l shall tell him that l deeply
appreciate the high honor that he has
paid me, but feel that am unworthy
of 1t and cannot consent to the sac
rifice that know he would be making
if he married me, and trusting to re-
tain his friendship and esteem, l re-
mainland it won't be necessary for
him to remain.
But the other is what I'd love to
say" added Mrs. Merriwid viciously
Copyright 1912. by W. G. Chapman)
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

The neckruff of ostrich is an as
sured favorite for the fall and winter
season. 1t is worn to best advantage
when the hat is trimmed to match.
With world of ostrich fancy feath-
ers, plumes and bands of all descrip-
tons, it is not difficult to select a
trimming suited to almost any kind of
hat.
These ostrich neckruffs are made
Of long-fibred stock, generally, and set
close up about the neck A hat to
match, with dropping brim, or a
shape which sets down on the head,
merges at some points into the ruff
and it is this that makes the effect
so good when the hat trimming is like
the ruff
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Creme Paner Gifts.

For those who cannot afford to ex-
pend very much money on materials,
there is nothing more satisfactory
for fancy work than the making of
objects of braided creps paper. This
material costs but few cents, unless
ribbons and silk or satin are used In
combination with the paper. The
work is of the utmost simplicity, H.
though the finished product appears
to be an imposing piece of work. One
does not realize just how easy it is
to fashion these crepe paper things
until one has started out to do the
work, and has the materials in the
hands-Harper's Razar.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
WHEN THE YULE LOG BURNED
Pretty Customs Of Former Times
That Surrounded That Necessary
Feature Of Christmas.

The Yule log on the fireplace reared,
The whole hall was aglow,
The great hounds lay before the blaze,
Dreaming of stag and boar.
One Of the prettiest sights of the
Cld-time Christmas must have been
that CT the Yule log being drawn
homeWard, surrounded with joyous
laughing children, shouting merry
greeting to each wayfarer as he
dotted his hat in reverence to the log
so full Of good promises whose flames
had the power to burn out old wrongs
and heartburnings On the arrival Of
the log at the "baronial hall" it was
customary for each member of the
family to greet it in fitting manner
either in verse or song.
In some parts of France there was
also the custom Of the Christmas log,
although there has been a different
significance. There the log had sus.
pended from each end the toys, cakes
and fruits for the children OF the
house These were the gifts Petit
Maulet or Christmas child was said
to have brought
In the mountain districts of Ger
many the Christmas log was supposed
to have the power Of warding off dan
gers from lightning and was kept be-
meath the bed of the master of the
house from one Christmas till the
next. when 1t was used to light the
new log. On Christmas eve all lights
and fires were eXtinguished in the
house and piece of the last years
wood was taken to the neighborine
church, where it was lighted at the
flames Of the sanctuary light. signify
ing the new light that had come into
the world on this night
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Psychology and Clothes.

] have little friend who disliked
to wash dishes; so for her birthday
made her two aprons from two yards
of pink Bingham. l cut them in one
piece, with straps which cross in the
back and button in the shoulders. The
edges are trimmed with pink flashed
braid. l made a pocket in each
apron, with her initial embroidered
in white. She was SO pleased chat her
mother has no trouble getting her to
help with the dishes and Gustiug.-
Woman's Home Companion.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Fur for EYerytlliud.

Fur goes everywhere. It trims the
chiffon evening frock and appears suit
ably enough on the tailo; made, while
it is also in evidence ia connection
with silks and soft satias. Skunk is
the fur which is just now lifted to the
highest pinnacle Of favor, and one
sees it en- all sides. With the fash
ionable mole gray sui. it could hardly
be excelled, it's deep, dark brown tint
having an admirable effect against
the gray
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
New DinHcr Gowns,

Soft damask sat1ns, chosen in very
dainty and delicate colors, will be
used for some OF the loveliest of the
new dinner gowns, quite simply drap-
ed, and arranged with long, flowing
trains bordered around the hem with
dark fur. In the case OF. the draped
bodices which are to be worn with
these skirts touches Of fur are intro
duced to outline the sleeves.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Beaulieu on National Debts

NJ. Beaulieu declares that the world
at the present time is badly governed;
that it is in the hands of incura BILE
prodigals and improvident experi-
menters. AS proof of this position he
points to the public debts of all coun-
tries. which show a decided tendency
to multiply. not by reason of stress
of eXtraol binary circumstances, such
as war or national disaster. but be-
cause the credit OF nations is extend
ell to enterprises which should remain
within the field Of private endeavor
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Saved the Money.

"But. my dear" said the young hus-
band, as he inspected the gorgeous
smoking Jacket his Wife had given him
for Christmas. II am afraid YOU spent
too much money on this Something
cheaper would have done just as
WE'LL"
Now" She routed, there you Co.
grumbling over my gift, as usual. Blu,
this time YOU are in the wrong. 7
didn't spend any money on it,"
You didn't? Then how on earth
did you get it?"
II had 1t put down to your ac
count"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Roman Heating System.

Like many other Roman houses that
have been unearthed in England, one
recently brought to light was heated
by system called "hypocaust." The
entire basement was one big furnace,
from which flues assembled, built into
the walls. A wood fire was kept in
the basement, the fuel being fed in
from an outside annex, through an
arch in the wall. The house recently
dug out is in a state of excellent
preservation.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Smart Gown,

Original and smart is gown with
a little orange-scarle: clo,h coat, the
cloth left with cut edges, and the sole
relief being handsome black and
silver embroidery on tie outstanding
collar, worn with a black satin stock.
The skirt is of clever'y draped supple
black silk of the fai'je order It is
finished with group, set in triangle
to hold in place one portion Of the
drapery, of fiat black and Silver inter
plated braid buttons.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Muffs Are Larger.

The muffs are larger than ever,
says Harper's Bazaar. Quite soft and
rather fiat. Some have the paws
and tails as trimming, as they had
last year, while quite as many have
no hanging trimmings. Most OF the
fur collars are worn with one end
thrown over the left shoulder For
those who can wear that style there
are standing neck bands of fur with
ruches Of tulle above and below, the
whole fastening at the left side with
& big satin ribbon bow.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
For the Invalid,

A sizeable shoe bag with several
pockets is just the thing for the sick
room, but not in it's original capacity.
Pin it firmly to the side of the bed,
within roach; then it is convenient
for the invalid to slip into it's various
pockets books, papers, handker.
chiefs, or any of the other things
which she uses, and which are not
only apt to get lost on the bed, but
when on the bed give an appearance
of disorder.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

Some very handsome hats a,s
trimmed with long boas of ostrich.
One end falls from the hat at the lef!
back and is thrown around the neck.
tiny bow, or a little nose-gay OF
jeweled pin fastens the end to the
shoulder.
Nearly all ruffs are fastened with
loops and ends of velvet ribbon. Some.
times these are long and heavy but
this is not usual. Short smart bows
are just as good. Narrow velvet rib
bons in rosettes and many falling
ends. or narrow satin ribbon of good
quality make equally effective finish.
ings, all depending on the taste Of the
wearer
JULIA BOTTOMLEY.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Explanation Of Dreams.

DR.. Freud says that every dream
can be taken to pieces for investiga-
ton. The dream is not really contin-
uous. It consists of series of groups
centering about what he terms
knots" and by Investigating the as
ISOLATION of these dream-knots with
ones normal life he will learn that
the dream was based on a wish or on
wishes, some of which may be so
vague that he was hardly aware of
them
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17

This dainty waist is of chiffon or
mousseline de sole. The upp~r part
of the waist and the yoke are tucked
and finished with little shirre3 head
ings.
The lowe. part is plain aud finished
with a black 7elvet girtlle into which
sleeves are tucked and fnished With
double frills of the matcrial
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1913-01-17
Blame Placed on Others.

why do YOU still keep up that alb.
surd Santa Claus myth" asked the
cynic. Il should have thought YOU
would have laughed at it,
"Because," answered the man with
a large family, 1T is convenient to
have someone to blame for presents
that fail to please"