The Washington herald., 1913-08-20
-
|SNEEzING Time
STARTS TODAY
Justnow WENT, The Herald's
Detective, Makes a
Discovery.
HAY FEVER SEASON ON
SIeuth Looks In Card Index and Finds
Annual Story for Use On
August 20.
HAY FEVER SEASON on

Weather men notably are conserva-
tive. They are more sensitive to critf-
cism even than great baseball players.
So, when the weather report last night
mentioned light variable winds and
the probably" was absent, IL was de-
cided that there must be something IN
the wi-let us say. something wrong.
The Herald's exclusive private de-
tective, Mr. Justnow Wentt was told
to follow the trail to its deadly lair.
please overlook the shredded meta
phor,) Disguised in a pair or white
half hose, which he knew would de-
tract all attention from his fame. Ar.
WENT went.
The first step was to see whether
the word probably" Inadvertently had
been left out in the printing. the
next was to look at the stenographic
notes of the report. Apparently there
was no trail to follow. At one minute
past midnight he reached the weather
Bureau. determined to solve the mys-
terry at any cost.
Mr.. WENT approached silently until he
was within arms length Of the weathee
fcrecas.er. Then he made known his
pre.ence. and told what he wanted.
.'Why don't you know?'' said the fore
caster. To-day is-Achoo!"
Gets at Heart of Mystery.
With the swift intuition that had made
him a great detective, Mr.. Wentt went IN
the heart of the mystery.
"Achoo: wind" he reasoned. Then: 1t
is the Goth OF August" His voice ex-
pressed the wondering exaltation OF one
who has made great discovery SO
great was his excitement that he forgot
to pull the lohe OF his left ear. Thereby
he shattered rule No. l6 Of the Guide to
Detectivity.
The presses were waiting. Half faint
ing. he rushed into the office OF The
Herald.
This is the beginning of the hay fever
season." he gasped, just before he fell
10 the floor. too weak even to grab the
great editors last cigarette.
The tension eased. There was nothing
to do but to find in a card index the an
nual hay fever story. Here II Is:
To-day Is the first day of the hay
fever season. Achoo! Achoo! Achoo.
Hats are flying through the air and
men and women are rushing around with
red-rimmed, weeping eyes and crimson
noses The yearly exodus to the noun
tain tops. where the air Is too thin for
full-grown sneeze. has begun.
Snee.c Replace. "BeIlo."
THE sneeze had replaced hello as a
greeting. Boreas there's an old favoriteI
is happy, for the breezes are blowing in
every direction. Each feverite or fever
ette is the center OF a tempest
Reserves have been rushed to Union
Station TO relieve the pressure Of the
thousands struggling to reach trains so
that they may benefit by . change OF
climate AS many thousands are trying
to disembark from incoming trains, hop
ing to find Washington a enee1eless city.
I'VE would write more, but we must
Achoo, Achoo! Ach--"
This, constant reader, Is the end OF the
story. From the far distant past has
come a tradition that the writer of the
first hay fever story had a chair bent
over his head while he was uttering that
final - hoo" We can say only that the
reason for the sudden ending is shroud-
ed in mystery: but We can offer up a
prayer of thanks that the hay fever story
was not lost to posterity.