The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1913-06-27
THE BEAR
THAT JOKED
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

'Twixt the one and tother I'm driv-
en- to eat coon and possum meat most
of the time. Dawg-gone bars and
dawg-gone darkest
The Arkansas squatter, having deliv-
cred himself Of the above, filled his
corncob anew, drew several long puffs
and continued:
Everybody knows what taste the
darky has fur bacon, but you will meet
up with mighty few people who know
that bar will face most any odds to
git hold of fresh pork.
aside from the pork question, the
bar is also smart in hevin' a sense of
humor. | never heard one go haw,
haw, haw, but I've seen 'em wearin' a
grin and feelin' tickled.
ut was one night about five years
ago that a bar come along at night
and took my pig out of the pen. I was
lyin sick at the time and couldn't git
out to shoot him, but reckoned he'd
hang around till got show to git
even.
at was a month befo' l was out,
and then spring had come, and far
was no good. All l could do was to
play a joke on that varmint and make
him feel bad. got some barbed wire
and strung it across the pen, and when
all was ready killed woodchuck
and dragged him around the pen and
throwed his carcass in. The old wo-
man seen what was goin' on and said:
"Jim, are yo' gwine to tangle that
bar up in that barbed wire?
"That's what it's fur said I.
"'What yo' got ag'in himT
ale carried off our hawg.'
"That was bekase yo' was too lazy
to roof the pen in. I wouldn't do. any
foolin' with that bar He cum loafin'
round we're the other day when yo'
was away, and he looked mighty Sc
rious and solemn. He amt no critter
to joke with
"'But he'll hev to stand it jest the
same If he gifts among them wires
he'll feel tickled to DEATH
"'Waal,' said she, 'yo' 60 ahead, but
I'm tellin' yo' that If yo' joke with that
bar he'll cum out ahead. Thar's bars
and bars. Some goes in fur fun, and
some don't
"That night about leven o'clock that
bar cum spookin' round. l was awake
and heard him sniffin', but kept quiet
till he climbed up the logs Of the pen
and dropped down inside. He knowed
woodchuck from hawg, Of co'se, but
woodchuck was good huff for him jest
then. If he saw them barbed wires he
took 'em fur strings. Leastwise he
leaped right down, and next mint he
was maxim fuss huff fur three dog
fights. They heard him howlin' way
over to Jim Tanners place. Lawd,
sab, but it made my ha'r stand up to
hear him take on! But got on my
clothes and went out to rub it into him
a little. Lookin' down into the pen,
called him hawg thief and lots of
other names, and every time he roared
l laughed in his face. jest pOked fun
at that critter till I was tired. How
the varmint got free and got out of
the pen l dunno, but he was gone in
the mawnin'. Thar was blood and fur
all over the pen, and thar was fur scat
tered all round the yard, and reck.
on he'd had bad time Of it. That was
the last l seen of that bar fur long
time-in fact, so many weeks had gone
by Id clean forgotten him when l cum
home on day and the old woman said
to me:
"'Jim, camp meetin' begins tomorrer
at Coon Creek, and We'll tote ourselves
over thar
"'Too much shoutin',' said l.
"'Yo' never mind the shoutin', but
git ready
II didn't keer to go, but l didn't
want to fuss, and so the next mawnin'
we toted along. We reckoned to stay
TO- days, but on the second day the old
woman said to me:
"'Jim, yo' member that bar yo'
joked with?
AZ reckon
"'Ever seen him senceT
"'Noap.'
"'Waal, I've had vision. l was
putin the beans over to cook while
listened to the preachin' when that
bar seemed to rise right up befo' me
and he was GRIMM
"'What about?
"T couldn't say, but he was feelin
powerful good natured over sunthin'
Don't yo' reckon we'd better go home?
"'What furT
"To see II that varmint hain't bin
up to sunthin'. He may hev got the
cabin doah OPEN
II laughed at her fur a SPELL but
she got so anxious that we finally sol
out fur home. We was still half 9
mile away when a cloud of feathers
came fyin' through the air, and we
both groaned. When we got a little
nearer we saw the front door open
and later on we looked in upon SIGH 6
scene as no cyclone ever left behind
That blamed bar had bin in the cabir
fur day or two, and he had jist claw
ed and scratched and bit and destroy
ed till the fireplace was about the
. only thing left. We stood thar full
Ill I.~SA ~ IL.