East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1913-02-12
Blondes Make Good Hubbies and
Iceman Says An Expert on Hair

New York-And now cometh a
woman, DR.. Katherine NJ. H. Black
for by name, a dealer in phials and
in potions, that she doth declare have
curing qualities, and she doth say that
by the color of our hair shall we be
known.
Very well, medicine woman, let us
have the worst so the suspense be
ended. Does our blondness consign
us to life behind the counter, or
are we to be forever in the foreground
of affairs by reason of our brunette
ness?
This DR.. Blackford, who decides
whether Wen do or not by sizing up
our hirsute color scheme, has had
much experience in selection, and she
has had very little reason to doubt
the success of her method As en-
ployment secretary Of a harvesting
machinery company in Indiana, it has
been her duty to weed out the con-
stant stream of men knocking at the
doors of the factory for work. on
one side she ranges the blondes, ball
lanced on the other side by the bru-
nettes. In the middle are the assort
ed varieties, specially selected for
special duty, as the color expert may
decree. Very simple and systematic
arrangement, if you don't happen to
be color blind.
Says DR.. Katherine Blackford:
BLONDES and brunettes do not
work in the same way. Generally
speaking. blondes are speculative and
optimistic, usually mild and good nat
ured, often inventive and like to con-
ceive the idea or scheme for some-
one else to work out. They naturally
incline to aggressive work, such as
salesmanship, advertising and promo
tion.
"Brunettes are inclined to conser-
vatism rather than speculation, often
are serious minded, sometimes inclin-
ed to gloominess and they like to work
out and perfect the scheme which
some other mind has conceived.
I'VE determine the difference be-
tween an orange and a shotgun
through comparison of size, color,
form, proportion. texture, consistency
and structure. 1t is law of nature
that these things indicate its func-
tions and use"
When the HoosIer expert on the
relative value of colorings exploded
her bomb in the midst of a meeting
OF the Efficiency society the buzz in
the audience sounded like a migration
of bees in swarming time. Every
body was busy trying to qualify under
the head most propitious to the real
ization of their ambitions. The non
descripts looked nervous and worried,
as if they expected to be out of a job
most any time.
The speaker he'd her ground like
q woman and soldier. She insisted
the whole situation is summed up in
the foliage that perambulates over
the outside Of your Uranium.
For the sake of illustration, let US
assume that you have a lot of money
kicking around loose and you want
to put it some place where it will
earn a neat sum and be safe at the
same time. Don't place your money
and your trust with a blond, because
blonds are speculative and stock mar
kets are uncertain. Place it instead
with a brunette gentleman, for he is
a member of the clan of conservatives
and he never plays bridge for more
than an eighth of a cent a point.
In choosing a husband, see to it
that his hair is sunny as his smile, for
blond boys run to mildness and good
nature, two qualities earnestly to be
desired in the head of the house. Of
course, he is inventive, which is some
what against him in the final balance,
enabling him to slide gibly over ex-
cuses for remaining downtown even
ings and reasos why he draped his
shoes over the gas jet early on the
morning after. Nevertheless, mild
ness and good nature are not to be
scorned. You simply can't expect a
paragon, and stretching credulence a
point every now and then is part of
the wifely duty.
If is a fact that most blond men
are natural advisers They are al
ways holding their feet on the loud
pedal. Sometimes it is an idea, again
it is an article or a number Of ar
ticles, and often-very often, in fact
it is themselves. A very careful study
of history will prove that the major
ity of the worlds great publicity men