davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
AYHAWKER JOTS

Mr. IRE of Dust Corner, Cove coun-
ty. also is a strong competitor in the
Kansas short name contest.
And the conservative Blue Rapids
Times reports: While cnopplng Woou
last Thursday, Willie Metz had a mar
row escape from a serious accident.
When the axe hit the chunk It re-
bounded and turned over. me plade
struck Willie in the forehead, cutuns
a cash which required sewing to-
gether.
This is the time of year, remarks
the Lebanon Times, when the 1901
killer is shopping around looking TOT
the fellow who uses an overdose OF
started on cold mornings, and 1T must
keep him pretty busy, because throw
ing kerosene on the smoulder1ng en-
bers of last nights fire is quite gen
eral and is a pretty sure way to start
something.
There is a good deal of lying about
the parcel post, thinks Editor Brady
of the Lawrence Journal-World and
he elucidates: From Cottonwooa
Falls comes a story that a bale of
alfalfa came by parcel post. This OF
course is a coarse, foolish lie. The
parcel post will only carry up to IL
another story that a steel culvert came
by parcel post. This is another fool
ish lie. No culvert on earth could
weigh as little as II pounds The
parcel post is the greatest ll1IIlS VI Tic
age and this lying about it will not
interfere with its popularity.
The other night we were at the
depot waiting for the train, writes
Editor McElhinney in his Cove Coun-
ty Advocate. The train was about a
half hour late and there were at least
a dozen ladies in the waiting room
whe ma rough haired individual who
had evidently been raised in a furni-
eating plant dragged an old clay pipe
out of his clothes and proceeded to
fill it up with what was supposed to
be tobacco, but which had an odor
more like compost heap. After he
had used a match and turned on the
draft, it was evident that the waiting
room was not a health resort for mi
crobes or ladies either. Although the
hints were plentiful that the ladies
did not consider the fumigating pro-
cess absolutely essential, the animal,
who should have had a row of bristles
down his back to make the play good,
smoked on entirely oblivious to the
torture he was handing out to re-
spectacle people. It is such conduct
as this that make reformers get up
and howl and tear their garments.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

my old friend, Phoebe Bliss, the one 1
told you about the other night. / war
You two to be friends
But there was no friendliness in the eyes
of the other girl. She knew she had lost
the richest, most eligible man of the sea-
son.
Later Howard Graves told Phoebe all
about it. at intended to hunt You up to-
morrow. I have put 1t OF, because was
afraid you might be dead or married.
Phoebe"
Just Think Phoebe told Mrs. Rogers.
later, III he had come that day when my
hair was twisted in a tight knot and L
had on mothers plaid shawl-wasnt II
lovely he saw me again for the first time
when 1 was pretty?'
And now you're going to marry him:
asked nlrs. Rogers.
Yes, and after that love will be my
open window. from which shall look out
at life.'-1Copyright 1913 by the McClu-e
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
EVENING Chat
BIT RUTH CAMERON.

The other day 1 overheard a girl at a
counter next to me making her onoice De,
expensive piece of good lace.
She finally chose the piece of real lace
can5 possDy aGra sne and
guess it'll come out all right 1 simply
can't bear things unless they are NICE
girl. You do have such good taste
Whereat the first girl smiled a smile OF
evident self-approval. and tucked the
afford into her muff with an air of com
plete satisfaction
She evidently felt great pride in thai
taste of hers which wouldn't let her be
content with things that were within her
income.
And in that feeling she was typical Of
large class OF people.
1 know a woman who all her life has
kept her husband in debt because sne
wouldn't have anything cheap In he
his income was decidedly plated, her
floors must be hardwood when she should
have been content to have them painted painted,
must be all wool and a yard wide, al :
though her husbands salary was mostly
cotton and much nearer eighteen inches
She felt that she would degrade herself
by admitting anything cheap into her
home.
In reality, she would have raised her
self, since she would have been doing
what every just and square man or wom-
form to her income, no matter how bauiy
it hurt
!. I don't deny that to have good taste Is
a reason for pride. 1t is good to appre-
ciate the beautiful and the real, and to
dislike the cheap and shoddy; and 1t is
good to be ave to crafty these tastes.
But it is not good to place these tastes
and their qualification above our sense of
justice and above our duty to our feilow-
men. And that is what any man or
woman is doing who lives beyond his
means
After all, when you come to think Of 1t,
if all that we believe is true, these ms
terial things that sell our lives TOT
are nothing but chaf which the Wild
oriveth away. Did you ever look around
your living room and see all those things
that you've worked so hard to own ard
collected So painstakingly. and suddenly
realize how very little they meant? In
themselves they are valueless. 1t is only
because we have agreed together to cali
them valuable, that they are So What
are they to be compared with honor and
justice. and other absolute and eterna'
things? "
Of course it's only once in a while that
a corner of the veil lifts like that but
even that brief, occasional vision ougct
to keep us from completely losing tpe
right sense of values.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

summer drinks and ices at cost-aH in
a wholesome, uplifting. strengthening
atmosphere.
This is not what people call unset
fish altruism. ALI these betterments
are provided because it is good bust
ness to provide them. With wholesome
food, pure air, plenty of sunlight, op-
portunities for clean recreation, falr
wages, friendly treatment and otner
good things of this kind, the workers
cannot fail to be contented, to Iino
pleasure in their work and to 40 every
thing in their power to prevent the loss
of their jobs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the chicago News.1

IFrom the Chicago News.1
He's a good man who sleeps all the
time
The best cure for kleptomania may be
an est cure.
Art may be long, but it's different with
most artists.
The love of money is the easiest of all
roots to cultivate
AS a sticker a porous plaster hasn't
anything on bad habit
When you have a lawsuit to lose you
can afford to hire cheap lawyer
Platonic love is a good deal like gun
that you didn't know was loaded.
1t is far better to make your mark in
the world than 1t is to be an easy one.
An old bachelor gets a bad case Of stage
fright every time he thinks of marriage.
Every man lives to congratulate himself
that he didn't marry the first woman he
thought he was in love with.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
HUAOR or THE Dry

The Cost.-'Why don't you marry Eva
lyn? Don't you think you could s,,nncr,
herF support heri Why co,,ido.s
even pay for her complexion. .NSs a..
The Nobel Prize---The StocJboiy,, TIA
mnsen announces that the Nobel rri1.
Tor literature viii probably be awardeS
to M. Anatole, France.-Sunday Chronicic
Also ran-Mr- Jack London.-Punch.
Yes, Yes.-"Privates in the army aat
more than the officers as that ri1rt O..
es anere are more of them.'-The
When on Ohio judge heard that a far
mer Wire had been hitched to a nlovv
ne very properly released her from the
matrimonial yoke.-Chicago Record-Har
aid. ner-
JaheZExcuse me, madam: might L bor-
row Nletzsche from the library? Her
Mlstress-Oh. certainly, Jane and brintr
me down The Lady With the Purpls
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Few men are wise enough to go II
alone.
= j. j
A mans troubles are seldom inoie
numerous than he makes them.
T. - j.
More people would be gamblers II
there was less chance of losing
Z. j i
There is usually a wide gulf between
a mans salary and what ne tnlnhs l.
should be.
Many folk have what might well De
called imaginative ears. They near So
many things that are never said.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

an estate of $5,oOO,00o is left to mis-
sionary societies for the express pur-
pose of giving to every tribe of man
kind that has them not, and which
speaks a language distinct from all
others, accurate copies of at least the
gospels of st. John and st. Luke to-
getller with the books of the Acts of
the Apostles printed in the language
of that tribe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
DAFFYDHS

If man is before a court on
charge of stealing bedclotheS would
you call it a pillowcase!
CAS- Oat Abar says: You can't keep
a squirrel on the ground-)
Is an honest policeman like pic
ture taken by photographer because
he is a foe to graft?
Gle down Fido, You're all wet)
Is there any relief for a window
pane?
CYou may drive a horse to a soda
fountain but pencil must be led. Ha.
ha!D
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

IF'rom the New York Press
Ignorance puts up the hottest argument.
Girls don't need much of any teaching to
get a thorough education in men,
History is willing to be generous to a
dead man because it won't do him any
good.
A man can get very big opinion of him :
self thinking what he's going to do Il
he ever gets started.
Whenever there's going to be car i
party for charity the devil feels his work
is going to be so much better done by
the gossips getting together than he
could do 1t that he takes a day on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Presumably the hoboes who attend
ed the annual convention of their
clan at New Orleans are of the theo-
retical variety. They passed resolu-
tions urging the government to bring
the Panama canal machinery to this
country and use it in the reclamation
of lands. They argued that this would
provide employment for 10000 ho-
boes. But the real hobo hates work
as much as he does soap. And, as a
matter of fact, when a knight of the
road goes to work he ceases to be a
hobo.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
THE Art OF DINING.

Now when you dine with Mrs B.,
Or when she asks you there to tea,
AItnough your CONVERSATIONS bright
Remember, you're a satellite.
And though you're full of quips and fun,
GU must not overcloud the sun.
For he who let's his hostess shine
Is asked another day to dine
London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

One of the professors at the state
agricultural college has evolved the
brilliant idea that the farmer should
play ball in order to eliminate the
siowness in his gait But even with
out baseball training the farmer is at
least pretty speedy in making home
runs when the dinner signal sounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

New York society women are TAX
ing pledges never again to wear the
much priced plumage of either the
bird of paradise or the aigrette. This
ought to give these birds about all
the protection they need. Not so many
other women have bank rolls of suf-
ficient proportions to buy the real
real thing in these lines
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

At any rate, Clip Castro is enjoying
an experience that comes to few per-
sons. He is a man without a coun-
try. However, it is not likely that
much satisfaction can come to a man
in such a situation, even if it is dis
tinctive and unusual.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
ON TEE SPUR
or ThE hOMEN1
By ROY X. MoULTON.

Grand Opry.
Grand Opry as a form of entertain
ment can't be beat.
love to cough up ten good bones
and buy myself a seat.
To hear some bowling tenor from
some low-browed foreign land
Come forth and yell a lot of stuff
that 1 can't understand.
1 simply dote on istenin' for several
mortal hours,
While them high-priced sopranners
exercise their vocal powers.
think 1 get my moneys worth, OH
yes, of course, I do:
And I am always sorry when the
jamboree is through.
There's nothing 1 like half so well and
for a chance to go, 70
I'd walk five miles in my bare feet
right through the ice and snow.
L know what you are thinking. I've
got your thought wave quite,
You're thinking I'm a liar and 1 guess
you're thinking right.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
Notwithgtanding the merits of til.

Notwithstanding the merits of the
case, the mere fact that the Kansas
senate saw fit to unseat a Socialist.
who had been given a certificate Of
election to that body. will provide
rich material for additional raging on
the part of the Socialists of Kansas
and the nation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Nor is it likely that West Pointers
would learn much to their advantage
by a years experience in the military
schools and army of Germany. 1t
was German military expert who
trained the Turkish army that has
made such a poor showing against
the Balkan allies
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

And the professional weather men
seem to be getting wiser as they grow
older. Their current predictions that
Kansas is to experience some winter
weather are no more than reasonable.
This is the winter season.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

AS far as the people of the United
States generally are concerned few of
them knew that Bishop Carpenter,
one of the prominent churchmen of
England, was visiting in this country
until he saw fit to pass out an inter-
view to a Boston newspaper man to
the effect that it is perfectly proper
for women to smoke if they can get
any pleasure out of it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
FULL LEASED WERE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state Journal Il a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganfzAtion for the exclusive after1oo1
publication In Topeka
The news Is received I'm The state Jour"
nal building over wires cor this sole pux.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Speaker Browns bill to recall
the judiciary from politics assuredly
is in line with the right idea. One of
the original mistakes in this country
was to mix the judiciary with politics.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

It would be just like Washington
to demand a census during inaugura-
ton week.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

January weather records were
again broken in Kansas during the
month just passed. But they were of
the heat variety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

A gold mine is a desirable possess
sion, to be sure. But healthy oil
well undoubtedly has it outclassed
these days as a profit producer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
STICKING TO THE G O.

Inc press dispatches from all over
the country during the past two weeks
contain information which will be of
little comfort to the Bull Moosers.
From nearly every state have come
pronounced statements from leading
progressives who declare in emphatic
terms that they do not propose under
any circumstances to leave the Repub-
hcan party, and from other states come
reports that the efforts of these con-
tent1ous frreconcilabies have not avail
ed TO prevent Republicans organizing
and electing United States senators. In
Maine, the Republicans have wrested a
senator from the Democrats, in Massa-
chusetts the Bull Moosers failed in
their efforts to defeat Senator Weeks
and like fate seems to await them
IN wyoming, Rhode Island and New
Hampshire.-Clay Center Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
KANSAS COMMENT
JUsTIFIABLE L1FE-TAKING.


A young man was being slowly roast
ed to death in the ruins of a building
in Texas town the other day and he
begged that somebody would shoot him
and put him out of his agony. Pres
emily a doctor stepped up. Kill mel"
cried the tortured young man. Il can't
do that, you know, said the doctor,
and was going to explain about the
ethics of his profession, and read few
pamphlets on the subject, when the
sufferer uttered such frenzied scream
OF anguish that the doctors profess
slonallsm fell off like a garment, and
he became a human being. Taking his
hypodermic needle he administered
some dope to the sufferer, and the lat
ter fell back dead. Probably the doc
tor VIII be investigated or reprimanded
or deprived of his diploma or some
thing. but he should be given gold
medal. All doctors should be author
lzed to end the lives of people who are
suHering unbearable tortures, and who
ask for death.-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

There will be a few "Rah. Rah,
Rahsi" at the Wilson inauguration
even if there isn't going to be a ball.
Twenty-six carloads of Princeton stu
dents have planned to participate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Maybe all Europe is so intensely in
terested in the Balkan situation be-
cause each of its component parts
wants piece of the Turkish pie that
is certain to be sliced sooner or later.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Classical educations are beginning
to be put to some practical use. A
number of Princeton students have
emulated the Greeks by opening
Shoe-shining parlor
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

In spite of multitude of entreat-
les, President-elect Wilson still re-
fuses to "play ball"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

Colonel Munsey, apparently, is not
among the peacemakers that are
blessed,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03

ally come into their own. Under the
viii of an Englishman, just deceased.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
4 ROM OTHER EENS
WHEN KINGS WE'RE MADE


They were strange days. as we read of
them now. A new volume from the press
OF t'unk & Wagnalls company, New York,
throws on them new CLEANS OF revelation,
as from a Twentieth Century searchlight.
1t is new translation and condensation
or GuizotS History of France, and many
chapters of it read like a romance What
a singular admixture of pride and piety
OF wisdom and wickednesS, can be seen
in those men and women who sat upon
thrones and knelt before themi Louis
xiv, for instance, was himself a whole
panorama-as one realizes who visits,
Mazarin, who had seen his birth, and
who knew him to the core, said of him:
He has in him the making of four kings
and one honest man. Fouquet, who feted
him magnificently at Vaux, was early
in disgrace, and when sent to prison for
life Bouquets pious mother could say of
her son, about whose soul she had been
supremacy anxious when the king honored
hint thank thee, o God; have always
prayed for his salvation, and here is the
way to it," What a 1usty old fighter
Louis XIV came to be! ST loved war too
MUCH was his pathetic confession on
his death-bed. But he made a gallant
figure, even late. in his long life, one
of the illustrations in this plethoric vol
ume is proof. And he is but of the
many personages1 described and pictured
in these more than 600 pages, admirably
translated by Gustaye Mason. The en-
tire history is panoramic.-Waco Times
Herald.
o.
MISDIRECTED ECONOMY.
To save money in the wrong place is
not new practice in congress, and it is
no ia surprise that the house followed
it's committee on Indian affairs in refusing
the request of the secretary of the in
terror regarding the appropriation for
hospital, sanitation, and medical work
among the red men. The appropriation
has been 100000, but investigation has re-
vealed a much worse set of conditions
among the Indians than in the country as
a whole While the percentage of deaths
due to pulmonary tuberculosis in the regis
tration area of the United States, which
includes twenty-one states, is IL, among
the Indians it is 90. The death rate from
all causes among these peoples is over
80 or more than double that in the area
noted These facts led Secretary Fisher
to recommend in his annual report that
the appropriation for hospital and rela ted
S4O5. OOO These figures, however, frighten-
ed the thrifty members of the house cnm-
mfttee on Indian affairs, and they declined
to add a single cent to the amount at
present allowed. The house, which voted
millions for additional pensions, baked
at three hundred thousand dollars for SUI
fering humanity. 1t is possible for the
senate to correct this error by amending
the indian appropriation bill when it
comes up for consideration, and conse-
oTently those interested in such action
should let their senators know what they
think about the Importance of its being
taken-New York Evening Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
From the HickeyviIle Clarion.

Mr.. and Mrs. LATE Tibbitts are
keepin' house now, but they don't
know how long they are goin' to be
able to keep it, as they got it on the
installment plan.
The Clarion hasn't been able to
scoop the SEWN circle on an item of
news in nine years and the editor is
gettin' well nigh discouraged.
Hank Tumms once held a horse for
woodrow Wilson's uncle and Hank
hopes to land a good job with the
new administration IL he kin conceal
the fact that he-yoted fer Roosevelt.
No matter what kind of a heating
system. Teller puts in his house he
Will wish he had put in some other
kind if he listens to the neighbors.
Hank Purdy is some disappointed
in his family. Three of his sons are
in Jail and the other four are in poll
tics.
When the man goes down the the
alter aisles first they are not married.
but when the woman goes down thu
aisle first they are.
Jed Frink, our blacksmith brought
home a cake of sleeping car soan
with him and he expects to n,t a
handle on 1t and use it for a hammer.
1t doesn't seem as though those
Montenegro soldiers with the short
skirts could do much fghtin' in the
winter. '"e
Amos Butts, our gentlemanIv a,,z
general undertaken. also livery and feed
ana sales stables, is thinking some or
0uttns IN an oatmobile hearse htIt
what the use? 1t would seem as
-houBn tnat Is one time when a feliar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-02-03
Heard in the Fifth Grade.

A semaphore Is a young man who fe A.,
ms second year in college,
A parallel Is two lines that can rava-
meet unless they are bent
A skelington is framework ~ booe.
without anybody on it.
Inere are FOG bones I'm the human body
unless man Is bonehead ana tHe1
there are 2O7. ~ iNH
An autocrat is a man who knoura bov,
to repair automobiles O"
diplomacy Is the art of saying some
who doesn't believe it.