Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1913-08-06
HE STRUCK A SNAG
Geological Research and Hard
Cider Produces a Wife for
a Professor.
BY CLARA lNEz DEACON.

Win dD- t-Ee-Iluu0uuoSS anu tHdt AluS
out of tti. OF them will pass his wife
on the street without remarking her
identity There is an idea that, out
side of class hours, they go wandering
over the fields with their hands cross
ed under their coat tails and talking
strange jargon to themselves.
This is all nonsense in the main. A
professor of botany, for instance, may
meet COW while studying plant life
in meadow, and raise his hat to her,
but you can put that down more to In
nate politeness than absent-minded-
ness.
A professor of natural history, hold
ing a chipmunk by the neck while he
studies the construction of its feet,
may be excused If he does not immedl-
ately catch on to the full meaning of
the farmer owner when he yells at
him from a distance of forty rods:
Here, you blamed hoss-thief, you,
what you trompling down a hull acre
OF grass fur! You dig right out or I'll
set the dog on you!"
Professor Bains, the geologist, was
not a bit absent-minded. He was
rather forgetful, but the two are not
synonymous He was fifty years old
when he came to the village of Rocky
Ridge to pass month studying GER
tain signs to signify the age of the
earth If he had been absent-mind-
ed he would have stopped short at
SoII RI IL
stone Hill. That he was forgetful was
proved by his leaving his money on
his dresser at his boarding house in
the college town when he came away.
The professor had never married.
He was suaye and courteous and OF
fine appearance, and he made friends
in Rocky Ridge at once. Most of the
people laughed at the idea of his car
ing whether the earth was ten thou
sand or ten million years old, as the
exact figures would have no effect on
the price of butter, but the laughter
was good-natured AS Deacon Win
field summed it up at the post office:
He looks like q smart Teller, but
if he wants to waste his talents climb
ing around among the rocks instead of
shopping bosses, why, it's his own
business and there's no call for US to
pity him."
The professor found a boarding
place with the widow Glynn, and
thereby brought pique to the hearts Of
four other widows and an old maid,
all OF whom took summer boarders-
when they could get them. No one
had told him of the other widows, or
he might have tried to scatter himself
around among them. In time he met
them all, and while they still held
their piqus, they said he was nice
man
Professor Bains got along in his in
vestigation very well for couple of
weeks and then he struck a snag. He
had about made up his mind that the
age Of the earth was $4,000, 900 and
some odd years, when he came across
= stone that knowledge of geology ap-
praised him must have been formed
at q far later date. This find rather
knocked him out. He was sitting on
big boulder thinking the matter over
when Farmer Stebbins who had met
him in the village, and who lived only
quarter OF q mile distant, came
tramping across the field to say:
well, professor, how goes it,"
I've struck q snag," was the reply.
Howl"
by discovering this stone. It's
millions of years younger than the
others around"
Sort of a kid, Ell? Does it change
your figgers much?"
VERY much indeed. l confess that
L don't know exactly what to do about
It."
Then I'll tell ye The old woman
has got billed dinner all ready to set
on the table. You come to the house
and help us to eat it. I'll bet you
haven't had one in twenty years.
Come and fill up and then Wen have a
talk about this old airth l own $40
acres of her and I'll like to be posted"
1t was a good dinner The professor
filed up. For thirty minutes or more
the hame and potatoes. the cabbage /
and carrots made him utterly forget !
the age of the earth.
Dinner finished at last, the two men
took chairs on the veranda and the |
farmer lighted his pipe, his wife
brought out a jug of cider, and the |
host began:
Flow do you fellers figure that the
airth was made?"
The professor belonged to the school |
that believes this globe was at first |
fragment cast off by some planet, and !
he was going ahead with his explana-
lions when he was stopped with:
Hold your bosses right there. |
Don't the Bible say that God created |
the heavens and earth in six days /
and rested the SEVENTH"
And thereupon began hot discus |
sion that lasted the better part of an
hour and as the two shouted they had |
recoursed to the cider That cider was
hard cider. 1t was oily. It had a