The Emmett index., 1913-01-09
uANrs THE PoToFFICE.

Old Bill Misgiyens is cand!dat
for postmaster and has made ap
lication in a letter to Woodrow Wi
son. Here is his letter:
Dear Governor: hereby max
application for the Emmett post
office ard will ask you to give i
your k,ndest consideration. From
that can Learn there Will be {
whole sS arm of Emmettites want
ing you to- appoint them to thai
Office, tut pay no attention to
their apple ation, for I'm the very
man you want.
Now, governor, you are going to
hear lot of blamed lies from some
of my enemies. They will move
heaven and earth to keep me from
being their postmaster and will not
sop at anything to carry their
point. They are almost sure to
write you that / play poker, get
drunk, fight my wi and am the
6gest liar In the state, all of
witch / shall ask you to spurn,
or at least spurn the bigger pa of
fl.
or course, l dent claim that 1
Eaye never been drunk, but it
has been a long time since l engag-
ed in any of these pastimes.
haven't been drunk since the fall Of
1892 and ! got in that position
then by celebrating Cleveland's cleo
tion, and It has been more than two
years since | fought my wife. I'm
what you could call reformed d ma
and | want you TO bear it in mind,
governor, when you get ready to
consider my application.
Now, as 10 my Democracy, my
bitterest enemy will not assail my
record. They dare not. have
fought the Republicans teeth and
toe nails ever since l quit wearing
dresses and when but a mere child |
would throw dead cats in their |
wells, plug their watermelons, tie
cans to their dogs tails and bear
false witness against their Off
spring in the school room, and a
long time before whisker bump
upon my bold and deter
mined chin, | was ever ready to
cast ballot against them. throw
rocks at EN- from dark alleys or
stuff a ballot box.
Governor, there is no telling how
many fist fights | have had in de-
tense OF our party. I've actually
fought Republicans who weighed at
east one hundred pounds more tha
did and who could stand flat
'ooted and lick salt Of the top
n my head The hardest fight
,ver had was late one night while
standing around bulletin board
hat was being smeared all over
With Republican landslide from
cape Cod to the Southpole.
The Republican in question was
IN ill-bred cuss who poeeeded to
ell at the top of his voice every
ime his party scored victory.
TODD his yells until Pennsylvania
anne in with 100000 Republican,
majority and he opened his mouth
nd yelled "GIurrah for Penn
ut he got no further. When we
yere separated the fellow had
roken nose and all the fat chew
d off his ears and ] lost two
ood jaw teeth and pants leg.
Governor, / merely mention the
bove incident to show you what a
val Democrat i am and how
ave struggled and fought for the
arty in its darkest hour OF de- [
sat I'm not like those Demo- 2
rats who are ready to quit Z
ie party when its platform does a
OF suit them. yer care durn
hat its platforms ale. | am a
first, last and all the
me and have no apologies to Of II
n for 1t q
III from any cause you could not
We me the Emmett postoffice l g
ould accept any other office in II
Ie state. The reason want the y
posto flee is that / was II
jared there and / want to make h
,me true dream of my early
,uth when 1t was my ambition to
scome Emmett ofliceholder. h
Hoping you may see your WY tc II
give me the Emmett postoffice. o
Id if not that some other post u
flee, IN yours for postof ice. m
WILLIAM MISGIVENS. W
See our elod crusher and mulcher :.