davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Good Stories
Wouldn't Spoil the Fun.

r OUR old Scotchmen, the remnant
II of a club formed some fifty
IL years ago, were seated around
the table in the clubroom. 1t
was a. m. and Deugal looked across
10 Donald and said in a thick. sleepy
voice:
Donald, dye notice what an awful
peculiar expression there is on Jacks
face?''
Aye says Donald. II noticed that:
he's dead. He's been dead these four
hours
What? Dead. Why did ye not tell
me?' =
All, .no-no," said Donald Am no
that kind o. man to disturb a con-
vivial evening. ."-Harper's Magazine
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
PROFIT SHARING AND WAGES,

1t is not likely that Charles w. Eliot, president
emeritus of Harvard, was quoted with exactness in
the news reports when he was made to say that the
wage system has outlived IFS usefulness and that
profit sharing will soon supplant it. Profit sharing
in its naked principles can never be made to take
proper care of labor.
Dr. Eliot is right in assuming that man who
has direct share in business is bound to take
a different point of view about it from man who
is merely employed. Therefore, it is possible to
stimulate the interest of workers in a business by
letting them share profits.
But profit sharing as substitute for wages comes
into collision with the very important fact that there
aren't always any profits to share. Hardly any new
business can make profits for considerable period
Capital has to be sunk month after month, some
times year after year. Meanwhile labor has to be
paid Under such conditions it has to be paid either
in whole in part, out of fresh capital of bor-
rowed money, out of possible profits that might be
going to the owners Of the property.
Then, again, there is never any uniformity of
earnings and profits A company will earn large
profits for year, or several years, and then lose
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
They Were Cheap

a n elderly lady from the country
n one day decided to adopt two
children from the county orphan
asylum. ...
She walked several miles before reach
ing the car line. It was the first time
she had been on a car. She stared
wide-eyed at everything she saw. tnen
her gaze stopped on sign, she read
thus:
THE Ohio Traction Company-Chil-
dren under twelve years OF age 3 cents
or two for cents
Well" she said. that is the best
bargain ever" Calling the conductor,
she said: Young man, I'll take two OF
those children for cents right now, a
boy and girl, please National
Monthly.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
FAMILIAR PHRASES.
\LVII.
TaCit consent.

AND THE PARTY OF THE SECOND
PART?
From the "Star")
This evening Miss CIutilde Mattingly will
be married at St Stephens Episcopal Church
at o'clock. the Rev. DIR. George Fisk
Dudle. Officiating
The brides sister. Miss Katheryne Mat
ungly. will be the maid OF honor. and the
bridemaids are to be Miss Louise Mattingly
and Miss Helen Hardy
Mr. Morton Milford OF Indianapolis. Ind.
VIII act as best man. and Mr.. Greer
Marechal, Of Mobile. Ala; Mr. Frank Ian
der. of Mississippi: Mr. william Clay
Holmes. of Georgia; MIR. Stanley Holland.
Mr.. Archibald Mattingly, and Mr.. John
Mattirgly. of this city. will be the ushers.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

The daughter of New York police
inspector declared 5000 worth of ap-
parel on her return from Europe It's
a fine thing to be the daughter OF Il
New York policeman.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Celenty's Summit.

G. 5. k.: The Height of Speed: Hand
ing a conductor a quarter. and de-
mandine tickets before he pops the
question.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

And, if you insist upon knowing such
things. Mr.. Stork and Mr.. HaIbfnger
are. respectively. dealer in infants
wear and cleaner Of gloves in New
York City
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

The Best Solver of Jigsaw Puzzles
that we Ever Saw had not the Most
Elementary Idea of Strengthening out
the Kinks in his Own Life,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Nhii" the George town Virginia game
means most to football lovers Of this Sec
ton. it is sure to bring out a large crowd
with good weather
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Queen Mary's presence at the Hay
market races may be explained on tine
theory that she was looking for George
-i:pStun Transcript.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
If She Encloses a Photo.

Dear G. S. K: If a young lady ad-
dresses you as Dear" would her con-
tributions have any more chance?
CAROLYN
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Just before mailing this" F. X.
postcards, Il went into a lunch room
and got HOT cup of cocoa" Then
why kick?
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
THIS& THAT
LINES.
7nh Sometimes Little of the otAs,

Lines.
Composed in lower one of Pullman
Sleeper
One would, in pain, penture, scan
The country near and far,
For queerer place for persing than
A Pullman sleeping car.
And yet, I doubt me not, there are
A million places morse;
In fact, l find this sleeping car
A dandy place to perse.
Though a delight to yield to sich
A place, grant / should
Admit another reason, which
/ think is just as good.
A certain charm that reason has
Too good, withal, to keep:
l might as nell write perses as
To try to go to sleep.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Yes.

Sir: When you're preparing your
daily spasm how do you know when
you've typewriter enough to fill a
column? Or do you set your own
type? Or perhaps you give them a
whole bunch and let them pick out q
columnsworth? Or how it is done?
~
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Recently. in Looking upon the Mummy
OF Rameses, we Wondered how Many
Times he had Repined over Split Milk!
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
She's All Right.

Quick, Woman fell in the wellI'
1t won't hurt her; the waters quite
pure.''
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Not Just Yet.

Willie. shut the dOor. You have let
all the flies in
NO. papa; there's one out there yet"
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Remote be it from us, however, to /
crowded out of it entirely.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

hU the women rule" They I:c build
ing street cars 10 accommodate wOm-
ems dresses.-Macon Telegraph.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Yesterday is Hull Down-but the
Stately Ship Tomorrow is Waiting to
be Warped into her Dock,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
What's on the Program IN
! Washington Today

Meetings, evening:
Masonic-Potomac Lodge, No. 5, Benja-
min B. French, No. Is. Anaeostia. No.
q, Pentalpha, No. 3, and Mt Pleas
ant. No. q; Washington Council, No.
l, Royal and Select Masters; Ruth
Chapter, No. 1, Order of the Eastern
star; Orient Commandery, No. ).
Knights Templar
National Union-Potomac Council, Py-
THAN Temple; Central Council. Per-
petual Building Association hall
Odd Fellows-Union Lodge, No. IL;
Covenant. No. Is. and Beacon, No. Is,
. business; Langdan, No. 2S, degree
work; Naomi Rebekah Lodge, No. l,
business; Ruth, No. ,, social session.
Red Men-Osase Tribe. No. 6. Society
Temple, Fifth and G streets north
west.
knights of Pythias-Equal Lodge, No.
II. Amaranth, No. IS, grand vista
ton; Century, No. 30, esquire rank;
Pythian Sisters, monthly meeting
Past Chiefs Association.
Socialist Party-School conference, 81
Z street northwest.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Today's COL, We are not unSratefullS
aware. reads like the roll of the con
tributory legion.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Hits From Sharp Wits.

\ Long Island woman of ninety-two
is suing FOR back alimony. There is a
perennial youth about cash which no
amount of time can age.-Baltimore
American.
The money that used TO go to Fay
of the mortgages on the old homesteads
now goes to the purchase of automo-
bIleS.-Albany Journal
German girls are forming q .ocicty
whose members are pledged 10 marry
huT"ly men Girls who can originate
an idea like that ought to be Well worth
marrying.-Toledo Blade,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Why theatrical managers will never
see heaven: If sold on the sidewalk
this ticket will be refused at the door"
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Advocates of the marry-one' SOP
posite doctrine should know of the
Love-Loveless nuptials. celebrated re-
Gently in F'indley Lake, Pa.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
In Which Mr.. Outcault Gets Into
Trouble.

a New York ''WorId'' advertisernentD
A Brand New Comic Series by r. F.
OutCault. Originator of Buster Brown
and Evelyn Thaw's Life Story.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

The final line is our own.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
AmuSeuorts

National "Ziegfeld Fcllies." SIS
p. m.
Columbia-"Damage Goods" sis
p. m.
Eelasco-"The Blindness of Virtue
$40 p. m.
Academy-"rhe Warming" Sis u I'M.
Arcade Auditorium-Dancing tonight
Poh's-"rhe Right of Way" Sis p. m.
keith's-Vaudeyille, 2:I5 and s15
p. m.
Cosmos-Vaudeville continuous
Casino - Vaudeville. afternoon and
evening
Gayety-BUrlcsTu l. and S:lGpnr.
Arcade Auditorium-Treasury Tango
Party.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
Optim cites
The Sunshine's StlI on the job,
Whatever the Clouds Mdy Soy.
By CLARENCE L. CULLEN.

Copyright by the Press Publishing Co.
"HE Sunshine Special always Runs
on Schedule Time,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Rejoicing in a Rivays Downfall may
be "Human''-but so Is Cannibalism,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
CF'rom the Times :"

DID YoC GO WITH YOUR LITTLE GoOI
WEATHER?
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Self-Control means Serenity-and both
Sit Squarely on the Summit of Life.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

II Is Not so Much what Others Think
of you as What You Think of Yourself.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17
AS TO CLERKS


Him whom your correspondent called
to task the other day
The salesman who is married to the
Anything else?" way
So far as I'm concerned he doesn't
bother me at all:
The feeling that he stlrs in me is little
also small.
1 hardly even mind the Being waited
upon" guy;
l can abide the clerk who's ever
Strengthening his tie:
L like the chap who sticks around the
rear end of the store,
And leaves me standing in the front a
half an hour or more.
At things that bother other guys I
blithely stay serene:
1t is a rare occasion when I beef or
make a scene;
One man there is, however: with whom
/ can pick a row:
The clerk who tells me: 'Everybody's
wearing these just now"
CLIFFORD T. MYNDorT.
There's no telling just what would
have gone here had S. NJ c. not sd-
vised us Mr.. Ryder is the head Of a.
local riding academy and that Julius
Caesar lives on Pennsylvania avenue,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Blinking the Facts never yet Swabbed
the Slate Clean,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

When the They Say-ers" Re-
mark of you that you're the Beneficiary
of More Luck Than Good Manage
ment," you're Arriving.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Oh, Pshaw,, Messy,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

II, as on the Ball Field, All of us
were Charged with Errors for our
Bonehead Plays how Many of us would
be RelcgatCd to the Bushes!
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Aim High-for II you're Going to Miss
it's Better to Shoot over the Top Of
the Target than to Kick up the Dust
in Front OF 1t,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17


."HE Sunshine Special always Runs
on Schedule Time,
When the They Say-ers" Re-
mark of you that you're the Beneficiary
of More Luck Than Good Manage
ment," you're Arriving.
1t is Not so Much what Others Think
of you as What You Think of Yourself.
Blinking the Facts never yet Swabbed
the Slate Clean!
Aim High-for If you're Going to Miss
it's Better to Shoot over the Top Of
the Target than to Kick up the Dust
in Front OF 1t!
Our Idea of the Height of Non-Nutri-
ton is a Homily recited to a Hungry
Mani
The Greatest Long Distance In the
Games Annals was-and IS-named
CHARACTERS.
When you can Discover the Compen-
sation for every disappointment you're
On your Way.
If, as on the Ball Field, All of us
We're Charged with Errors for our
Bonehead Plays how Many of us would
be RELOCATED to the Bushes!
Self Control means Serenity-and both
Sit Squarely on the Summit of Lifei
Rejoicing in a Rivays Downfall may
be "Human"-but so is Cannibalism!
Recently. in Looking upon the Mummy
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

When you can Discover the Compen-
sation for every Disappointment you're
On your Way,
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

L. LINGTON.
The Washington times., 1913-11-17

Our Idea of the Height of Non-Nutri-
ton is Homily recited to a Hungry
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01
STORY OF FAMOUS
CIVIL WAR FIGHT.
Battle Of Gettysburg Which
Brought Credit to Both
Blue and Gray.
'rURNING POINT OF CONFLICT
frotaI Losses on Both Sides In Three
Days Fighting Over $4,000 Sow
eral Generals Killed and
Wounded.
BY EDWARD B. CLARK.

sRW YASHINGTON.--It is posi-
A bic, some people would say
WV probable, that the Battle of
~ Gettysburg changed utterly
the course OF American his
tory. 1t was great fight between
armies of Americans, for probably
fully ninety per cent. Of the men who
fought on the two sides were born
natives to the American soil. The
bravery shown at Gettysburg was of
che order which Americans have
shown on every field and which re-
fleets credit upon the hardy and
heroic ancestry of the men engaged.
no matter from what race they may
have sprung.
AT Gettysburg there was nothing to
choose between the yalor Of the North
and the South. The South lost the
fight, but it lost it honorably and
with the prestige of it's soldiery un-
dimmed. The charges made ON that
field have gone down into history as
assaults made under conditions which
every man felt might mean death at
the end. The defenses made at Gettys-
burg were of the kind which it takes
iron in the blood to make perfect At
Gettysburg Northerners and South
erners replenished their store Of re-
spect for their antagonists. The bat
tie marked the high tide of the war
between the states. After it the
South largely was on the defensive,
but its defense was maintained with
fortitude and in the face of privations
which could not chill the blood of
men fighting for what they thought
was the right.
The Northern armies were persis-
tent in their attacks through the cam
7paigns which after a few months were
sstarted aginst the objective point,
Richmond. Brave men here and brave
men there, and after the end came it
was the qualities which keep com
pany with bravery which made the
soldiers of the North and South so
ready to forget and to forgive and to
work again for the good of a COM
mon country.
The great battle of Charlottesville
was fought not long before the oppos-
Ing Union and Confederate forces met
on the field Of Gettysburg. Chancel-
louisville was a Confederate victory.
The Southern government believed
: that the victory should be followed up
by an invasion of the North for, ac-
cording to its reasoning, if an import
ant engagement could be won upon
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01

=.
land from invasion, a condition which
military men say always adds sub
tie something to the fighting quality
which is IN any man. Some authori-
ties have said that there were IO0,0 900
men In the Confederate forces at Get
tysburg to be confronted by 81, 600
Union troops. Another authority says
that the Confederate force was $4,000
and the Union force 10000 AS it was
the armies were pretty nearly equally
divided in strength.
In June, 1868, General Robert e.
Lee began to move northward. Lee
concentrated his army at Winchester,
Va, and then started for the Potomac
river, which he crossed to reach the
state Of Maryland. He fully expected
to be followed by General Rockers
army and SO General Stuart with a
large force of cavalry was ordered by
Lee to keep in front of Hooker's army
and to check his pursuit of the Con-
federates II it was attempted.
Late in June the Confederate force
reached Hsgerstown, in the state of
Maryland. 1t was General Lees in
tention to strike Harrisburg, Pa,
which was a great railroad center
and city where Union armies were
recruited and from which all kinds of
supplies were sent out to the soldiers
In the field. While the Southern COM
mander was on his way with a large
part Of his force to the Pennsylvania
capital another part of his command
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01
PERRY FLAG FIGHT ON
Battle of lake Erie of 1919 Is
Being Refought.
Director of Toledo Museum Will Not
Give Emblem Into Hands OF
Ensign Lowry.

Toledo, O., June 30.-The battle Of
Lake Erie Of 1913 is practically be-
ing refought as part of the centen-
NAL celebration here, as the result of
the contest for possession of Commo-
dore Perry's Don't give up the ship
battle flag.
Director George Stevens of the To
ledo museum OF art remained stead
fast in his determination not to
relinquish to Ensign George M. Lowry
of the navy the relic which was
loaned as the center of an elaborate
display. Lowry has orders to take
the flag to Erie and place it on Perry S
rebuilt flagship. the Niagara Lowry
refused the emblem, is working with
United States District Attorney U. G.
Denman in an effort to use legal
means to obtain possession.
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01

:
which has gone into history as one
Of the most heroic assaults of all
time. It was forlorn hope but 1t was
grasped and the men of George Ed
ward Pickett, Confederate soldier,
went Loyalty aud with full hearts to
their death across sIhrapnel and rifle
swept field.
When the third days fighting open
ed it began with, an artillery duel,
hundreds of guns belching forth shot
and death from the batteries of both
contending forces. 1t is said that this
was the greatest duel engaged in by
field pieces during the four years of
the war between the states.
The Union guns at one time ceased
firing, and it is said that the southern
commander thought they had been
silenced, and then it was that Long
streets men made an assault and
Pickett's men made their charge. The
former generals objective was Big
Round Top, but his forces were driv-
en- back. Picket formed his division
in brigade columns and they moved
directly across the fields over fiat
ground. They had NO cover and they
had no sooner come into effective
range than they were met by such a
storm of shot as never before swept
over field of battle.
They went on and on, and on clos
ing in their depleted ranks and NOV
ing steadily forward to their death.
Those of Pickett's men who reached
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01
Ok'S U.P.DISSOLUTION
President Approves Plan to Dis
solve Combine.
ca p. Todd of Department of Justice
Goes TO ST. Paul to Give Court
Agreement.

Washington, June 30-A complete
agreement en- the Union Pacific dis
solution plan has been approved by
The president Is said to be in thor
ough harmony with the agreement and
G. P Todd of the department of JUS
tiee has gone to st. Paul, Mimi, to
present the plan to the federal court.
The details of the dissolution or agree
nsent will probably be made public to-
day.
In connection with the filing of the
Union, Pacific agreement with the fed
eral court the department of justice
will ask, the court before handing
down final decree, to grant limited
t5Me In which to file objections to any
of the details that might IN the mean
time arise.
1t is understood that the action Of
the department Of Justice in asking
that the court leave loophole for
the filing of possible objections in the
detail of the Union Pacific plan does
not indicate that such objections ex-
list, but was merely to leave the way
open for the government in the fu-
ture to offer suggestions if occasion
seems to warrant. In other words, it
is decided that there should not be
snap judgment in final enforcement
OF the plan. The Supreme court fire.
quently adds clause to decision al
Lowing parties to suit to bring an
other action If circumstances war
rant
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01
HENRY C. WARD IN RETREAT
MuitimiiIionaire Lumberman Is Sent
to Sanitarium by Wife--in-
sanity Is Charged.

Asheville. N c., June 30.-Henry
Clay Ward, mnltimifIionaire lumber
man of Pontiac, Mich, was arrested
ON an insanity warrant sworn out by
his wife, adjudged insane at hearing
before the clerk of the superior court
and ordered confined in a local pri-
yate sanitarium A J. Trip and Rem
bert Kent, two Pontiac court officers
who have had charge of Mr.. Ward
since his arrival attempted vainly to
intervene. Mr.. Ward, whose fortune
is estimated at $4,0O0,o0O, came to
Asheville about three months ago. the
two Michigan officers accompanying
him Mrs. Ward arrived in Asheville
Thursday and Instituted the proceed
ings.
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1913-07-01

Southern general did not succeed IN
the plan which he had formed to get
by Big Round Top and to attack the
Third Corps from a position of van
tage in the rear. General Sickles de-
Tended Round Top and Longstreet
could not take it.
When one visits the battlefield of
Gettysburg he can trace the course
of battle of the second day where it
ragged at Round Top, Peach Orchard.
Cemetery Hill, Culp's Hill, and what
is known as The DEVILS Den. The
tide of battle ebbed and flowed Lit
tie Round Top was saved from cap
ture by the timely arrival of brigade
commanded by General Weed that
dragged the guns of United States
regular battery up to the summit by
hand.
At the end of the second days fight
1t was found that the Southern army
had failed to break the left flank of
the opposing forces, that it had failed
! to capture Round Top and that the
right flank OF the Northern army. al
though vigorously attacked, had not
been broken There was a tremen-
dous loss of life on both sides, and
while in general the day had gone
favorably to the Mortimer cause Get
tysburg was still a drawn battle.
Charge Of Gen. Pickett.
1t was on July 8, the third and last
day of the great battle Of Gettysburg