Imperial Valley press., 1913-07-24
BY Blazing Hearth.
BY Walt Mason.


Il hate to remind you of the matter,
colonel" said the grocer, but Ill
have to ask you to pay that old bill of
yours. I'm putting a new furnace IN
my house and need every cent that's
due me-"
81 have told you repeatedly that I'll
pay my bill when | get good and
ready" replied the colonel, with dig
nifty. 81 am putting a sheet iron heat
ing stove in my sitting room and have
no money to waste on old accounts or
other extravagances. You keep harp
ing away Oh that old bill like a dog
6one parrot asking for crackers, and
I'm sick Of it. If you offered a senSi-
bic excuse once in a while it would
be different. II you had to have a
leg amputated I'd raise tile money for
you. But no! You want to bask in
oriental luxury Like some old fat pasha,
ond you expect your customers 10 put
Up The money. Sir, ! admire your
nerve.
"A man who puts furnace in his
house, j. q lunatic to begin with and
his friends viii not encourage him
by paying up their Old accounts. a
\ furnace is another of your modern
denominations which make liGa an ev-
pensive luxury l admit thai it is a
4 convenience in some ways, but we
shouldn't sacrifice everything for The
sake Of convenience. A furnace is all
right in an Office building OF store or
schooroom. but it should have ro
place i'll a home The homelike al
mosphcre departs as soon as you get
one
''If man would enjoy a fire and
get the good Of it he must see it.
lie must see the flames chasing them
selves up the chimney and the sparks
cleaning like jewels, and he must read
his fortunes in the glowing Goals. That
was what he used to do when | was
young" .
you are getting alfred eloquent
over it" remarked the grocer. Il new
er saw such an old fossil as you.
Every modern convenience makes you
sore. know as much about fire.
places as you do, and I'll admit that
they look nice, If you keep a fire going
purely for the sake q ornament But
don't know Of Anything more exas-
perating than a fireplace IN cold
night. We used to have one in our
house when ! was a hoy and it nearly
broke our hearts On a cold winter
night we'd sit huddled in front Of it,
and every now and then a big drift
Of smoke would come back to US and
nearly strangle us.
''We'd be half baked in front. and
half frozen behind, for a fireplace
doesn't throw heat more than two or
three feet. And every now and then
the sparks would fly out and set fire
10 our clothes, and father had an aw-
ful time extinguishing con1agrations
III his whiskers. | can remember when
we had our first heating stove, and il
seemed a wellspring OF pleasure after
that laundering old fireplace. But all
this has nothing TO do with your bill
You have been threatening to make
payment for a year now and have Of
fered nothing but language"
~ wouldn't have your intellect for
millions Of dollars. sir" snorted the
colonel. You cant keep it busy with
some sane subject for more than two
minutes. 1t has 20 get right back to
the disgusting matter Of bills and &C
counts. There is nothing more demor-
alizing to mans finer nature than
this eternal palaver concerning bills
The worlds great men seldom paid
their bills, because they considered
such things beneath their intellectual
dignity. Lord Byron, vino won an i'm
perishable fame"-
II don't care three whoops about
Lord Byron or any other Jim crow
poet" interrupted the grocer. Byron
never traded at this store. If you sim
ply won't pay me any money now tina.
/ need it so much. you might at least
quit swiping those seedless raisins."