davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

On the latest and greatest steam
ship just launched there are lifeboats
for $3.50 persons. Still, the proper
thing for ship to do with lifeboats
il. not to need them
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The new British ambassador Is re-
ported to be baseball fan, which may
prove even more influential than prof.
cheney on the tennis court or the golf
ing green.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

A Kansas medical scientist is GO
ing to try two-year, cold-storage eggs
on a squad Of men. They are luckier
than most Of US, who have to take the
older brands
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

A southern young man drove two
miles alone before he discovered his
sweetheart had fallen out Of the buggy
And then they rave about southern
chivalry.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09
Worked Both Ways,

1.-TWO mighty sad looking women. i
Aren't they?"
Il wonder what their trouble is pa
"One of them was Tilted by the man
she was in love with"
And the other"
ooh, the man she was in love with
married her"
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09
Her Injunction,

when you kissed your Weeping
mother goodbye, and went out into
the world to make your fortune, | pre-,
sumo her last fearful injunction was
For you to be gOod?"
mo make good"
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Now that soda water season has
opened, 1t Is we'll to remember that
although all drinks are charged, you
will have to pay for them just the
same.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The statement made that a woman
saw soul passing from a dying rela-
tive's lips is received by scientists
with skepticism. Even were such
d thing allowed to be possible there
are so many souls so small as to
be invisible under any circum-
stances
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The strength with which man
Yields a piece of bamboo depends up
on whether said bamboo is a cOmpo-
nent part of a carpet beaten or fish
ing rod.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The scheme of an organization or
women to dress husbands on total
expenditure of fifty dollars a year
looks like a conspiracy with the wives
t. be the chief beneficiaries.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

One sporting writer says that it is
now anybody's pennant. But from the
claims put forward by the various
baseball managers we are led to be-
lieve that it is everybody's pennant.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

That all potato cars must be heated
in winter is the mandate of the inter
state commerce commission. There
must be a society for the prevention of
cruelty to the potato.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Women who constantly wear vetls
suffer in time from deterioration of
features, says London physician AZ
ter that stage has been reached the
wearing Of wells should be made OBJ
ligatory by law.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The blasting at Panama is killing
the sea serpent. This will not do. At
least one of the sacred traditions of
ages must be preserved from the com
mercial iconOclasts of the age
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Then there is that morbid form CT
self-conceit that leads a man to CON
slider himself a hoodoo because the
home team always loses when he at
tends a ball game
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Every time it rains in the city hun
dreds of dollars worth of benefit
comes to the back yard gardens and
damage to the extent of thousands of
dresses
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Nobody ever receives a Carnegie he
TO medal for wearing the first straw
hat OF the season Mr.. Carnegie is
too narrow in his views.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

An alleged bigamist is said to have
married under the names of Beer"
Dear" Near and Fear" which
goes to show that 1t takes almost no
immigration to induce some women to
wed.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

A Chicago woman says corsets are
the mainstay Of character and a cor
setless woman just cannot be good.
Maybe that's what's the matter with
Laen.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The public health bureau says that
fear Of the germs they may contain
need deter no one from amassing
greenbacks as swiftly as possible
since the ink kills the germs Was
anyone ever discovered who allowed
such fear to keep him poor, and
II such craven-spirited soul exists,
Is it worth while to reassure him?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Now comes an expert and declares
that much riding in automobiles is the
cause Of fiat feet. But, in the opinion
of most automobilists, that isn't as
bad as fiat tires
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

While four French aeronauts were
sailing over the Sahara desert in aero
planes five others were killed in bal
looms collapse in France. 1t is get
ting so that danger cannot be graded
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

This country has imported 5000
900 worth of gems since the first of
the present year. Somebody must be
trying to square himself with his wife.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The New York girl who spent seven
years looking for real man" may
have heard OF Napoleon's confession
of unfaith: Good Lord! how rare
men are"
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09
Claiming the Credit.

His wife has made fool of him"
"He doesn't know it."
How do you know he dOesn't?"
"He says he is a self-made man."
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The real triumph of the cubist-fu-
turist artists will not come until one
of them draws a picture of himself in
despair over a bow-legged model
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

II that proposal to require the dat
ing of eggs is carried out it may be-
come necessary to teach the hens to
read and write and to provide each
with fountain pen.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

An inveterate gambler was SEN
fenced by a judge to gamble with no
one but his wife Nice way of keep
ing the money In the family.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Did you ever notice how difficult it
is for a woman to be very friendly
with any other woman her husband
ever was engaged to?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

No woman, 1t has been ascertained,
can live on less than So a week, but
mans minimum stands unexplained
and uninvestigated
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

New York has only $4,000 inhabi-
tants, owing to the freakishness Of
law Which bids 1t to annex Connec-
ticut and New Jersey
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Another thing you must have no.
ticed is that when you hasten to stock
your refrigerator with 100 pounds Of
ice the weather suddenly turns cooler
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Straphanger is a noun that has long
been heard. Invent your own term for
those who have to hang on to the
seat back handle
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

An advance of IS a foot is an
nounced in the price of show snakes.
But an advance in the price of the
bar room kind would be better.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Eastern divine alleges women are
not progressing morally as rapidly as
men. How can they when one con-
siders hobble skirts?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

They say that the taste for Manila
cigars can be cultivated. Anybody
who likes artichokes ought to be-
deve it.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

That youth who married girl to
keep his father from marrying her
certainly set an example of self-sacri
fee seldom seen these days.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Pickpockets may conclude to plead
shat in this day of empty purses and
dollar watches they earn what they
get
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

What has become of the man who
used to eat strawberry shortcake all
the time and then wonder what allied
his system?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Irrespective of currency reform,
there should be dough for everybody
soon. The winter wheat crop has the
best of prospects.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

How long since you have seen a
woman darning a pair of socks?" asks
the Cincinnati Enquirer thus Offering
an admirable topic for the historical
societies.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

When unnecessary noise is abol-
ished the picture of messenger boy
looking at an automobile horn will be
pathetic
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Los Angeles has two lady 'coppers"
and 1t is said to be quite a sensation
to be pinched by one of them.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09
,a|lc%

Wifey-I do really need a new bon
net.
Hubby-How much?
Wifey--Well, | could get one fo1
from $40 up.
Hubby-rd rather know from how
much down"
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Entered AS secOnd-class matter Ma
%, 1910, at the pOstOfftce at Parker,
Arizona under the Act of March 3,
1879.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

When the Balkan states feel like
borrowing $1,00O,000,00O, what does
Turkey feel like?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

It is our notion. however, that the
world needs simplitied talking more
than simplified spelling.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

II all jokes were judged by points, a
big bunch of them would score minus
zero
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The silk hat has survived a century.
But the green one-a few months
should suffice
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

The dollars are flowing in for tur-
tie serum but where are the absolute
proofs of worth?
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Another much needed invention is
golf ball that will whistle whenever
1t Is lost
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

What a comfort it would be if mos
Guftoes were as fastidious as are rain
bow trout in the matter of biting.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Twas a mean man who insinuated
that at suffragette meeting he not
only heard plain things but saw EN-.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Baseball is a good game, provided
your team wins occasionally
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

In the BARRIERS strike riots in New
York revolvers were employed. Next!
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

After all, why correct the proof
even if the compositor does set it up
vulgar instead of Bulgar styles.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Also our notion of a useless occu
patton Is that Of raising artichokes.
The Parker post. (Parker, Ariz.) 1910-1918, 1913-08-09

Just what does the slash" skirt
prove?
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Mr.. Castner Promoted

Norvai Castncr who has been
the Manager for the Mt. States
Tel. and Tel. G.. has been promot-
ed to Il more lucrative position as
manager of the Exchange at Fort
Morgan. We certainly congrau-
late Mr.. Casrner in his promotion
for the Telephone CO... only make
these promotions to those deserN
ing them but Just the same it is
not going to seem just right not
to see his smiling face in Jules
burg. Mr.. Castner left Tuesday
afternoon to take up his new du-
ties which will be somewhat diff
crcnt than those here as he will
have men to do repair and line
work. his family will follow him
shortly. While all of his many
friends wish for him all kinds of
success they regret exceedingly he
and his estimable family leaving
fJulcsburg.
As an incident that may well be
noted by young men just starting
out in life we give just'a little of
Mr. Cashiers history. A very
few wears ago Mr.. Castner took
the position of janitcr of the ex-
change to which he is now being
returned as manager.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Training Presidents

Considering the unique training
which Woodrow Wilson has had
for the Presidency would it not be
wise to establish government
scholarships for the training of
publicists. We believe the idea
to be an excellent one as young
men could be trained for public
service Just as they are now train
ed for the army and navy. They
would be experts in government.
prepared to shape public opinion
in harmony with the best ideals
througout the country.
But there is this difficulty. that
no certain career would await Il
publicist in this country. A pub
licist who could not carry his own
town or even his own ward and
many we know do not and we be-
Iievc this training would hardly
fit him to do so. He would have
IA hard row to hoe and tie
would find it still harder to fill a
position in the higher branches of
public service which are appoint
tive unless he had a pulp. 1t
seems almost certain that a dubious
future awaits those who follow the
uncertain profession Of public
list.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
tell lie for one box of cigars; shall
make some improvement before | 60

tell lie for one box of cigars; shall
make some improvement before l 60
back.
The treatment was fine on the ship;
each had his or her place at the table,
my number was l02. and each had their
number all the way through. Oa the
9th they celebrated the Emperors
birthday. They had bust of the EN-
peror surrounded with German flags
and flowers; and on the table they had
fIages of al nations. In front of my
plate they had the American flag; and
on each cake they had the German and
American flags, side by side. l have
the two flags that were in the cake at
my table. Every night we had concert
by the band.
Ihave now been in Hamburg twelve
days have not seenmuch of the city, but
must say l was greatly surprised,
Hamburg has population of about
One Million; is beautiful City full of
Rivers and Canals; the two principle
rivers being the Elbe and the Alster.
with many beautiful little steamers
carrying passengers to and fro, on the
river there are many miles of it in the
CITY limits. The canals often take the
place of streets, and the crossings are
bridged over. The boats carry, coal.
goods and produce of all kinds. The
houses are built up from the water and
the boats can unloud coal into the
cellars and goods into ware houses.
There is very rich lady who lives
in the City who made the City
present of 5000 swans, and
which have been placed in the
Alster. She has them fed every even-
ing at her own expense. The houses
are all nicely built and very artistic,
no two are alike in color, even if they
are alike in build, but mostly have
quite different appearance. The
fsercets ere very clean; no one is ailow,
ed to throw any garbage in the back
yard, nor any where else. The store
windows are wonder for beauty, and
food and milk must all be pure.
If this escapes the waste basket,
| may give you more anon.
Very respectfully yours.
| John T. Adams
l43 Ritter Street
Hamburg Germany
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
New Farmers Arriving

Geo: Beamblossom of Gibbon
n ebraska arrived in Julesburs
Tuesday and unloaded his car of
Immigrant goods and proceeded
to his new home on the Marshall
George farm E miles North west
of town. Mr.. BeanbIossom's
family have arrived and they will
proceed Immediately to get busy
with their farming interests which
we understand will be on an ex-
tcnsivc scale.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Panama p Pacific international
Exposition !.

Director of Concessions Farnk Burt,
announces that the Committee on Con-
cessions and Admissions has just grant
ed the right of Jacob Gunzendorfer,
Adolph Gunzendorfer and Mervyn Gun
Zendorfer to produce their original and
remarkable concession "The Submar-
inc" at the coming 1915 Worlds Fair.
twill cost $3.50, 900. and bids fair to
interest thousands of visitors. 1t will
be an amusement riding device that
will afford the public an original and
sensational experience and also demon
strate the utilization of the submarine
for observation and other purposes
Steel submarine boats will drive into
great lake in which will be assembl-
ed startling and unique forms of vege-
table and animal life brought from the
submarine continents of the world.
The passengers will be comfortably
seated and provided with individual
portfolios through which they may be
hold forests of coral and pearl beds,
sponge gardens, seaweeds, specimens
of unique fish and an almost endless
variety of marine creatures in their
native environment.
The concession will be contracted
into lake occupying an oblong site
200 800 feet in area and twelve feet
atits greatest depth. The lake will
be lined with concrete; the top of the
retaining wall being level with an en-
circling promenade.
Though the lake will actually be only
ten feet in depth. yet by the mani
pulation of registering dials which re
cord ten feet for every one foot OF
actual submersion and by the use o
mechanical screens which are cause'
to move upward as the boat is geinf
down, the passenger will actually fee
that he is diving some three hundre
feet.
Up to date sites have bee
dedicated by the following Stat
es; New York, Pennsylvania, Ne
braska, Arizona, Utah, Washington
Oregon, New Jersey, Colorado, South
Dakota, Nevada, Missouri, Idaho, Ken
lucky, Montana, Philippine Islands
Hawaii, Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Wes
Virginia, Massachusetts, Minnesota. 5
Up to date the following Foreigl
Countries have accepted the Nation
invitation to participate in the Exposi
ton; France, Japan, Guatemala. Boliv
ia, Hayti, Mexico, Honduras, Saliva
dor, Costa Rica, Panama, Peru, De
minican Republic, Canada, Ecuador
Uruguay, China, Cuba, Liberia, Mic
aragua, Portugal, the Netherlands
Denmark, Sweden Spain, AgentiGe.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Supper and Bazaar.

The Second Division of the Lad
les Aid Society will give supper
at the Methodist Church Friday.
March 14th, beginning to serve
about $50 Price % cents.
MENU
Veal loaf
Baked beans
Brown bread
Potato salid
Pickles.
Cake and Coffee
Mrs. NJ. L. Babcock' Glass will
hold Bazaar at same time and
place. The public are most cor
daily invited.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Congregational Church Notes

In response to special request
by II number interested in the Sun
day Morning "Childrens Church"
the pastor promises to give his
address to the children immedia-
tely following the first hymn
allowing the children to retire be-
fore Scripture readings. The good
number at last Sunday mornings
service should be doubled.
The Ladies Aid and Missionary
society is meeting this Thursday
afternoon at the residence of Miss
Alice Parker. The program CEN
ters around David Livingstone.
Still another new class for our
growing Sunday School. Mr..
Parkers class has been divided, the
girls not yet in the High School
forming a splendid class with Mrs.
G. w. White as teacher.
A Cradle Roll penny dropped
into the Birthday box last Sunday
Travelled ten miles from little Max
inc Pierce of the South Table.
Some pennies that don't travel
near so far get lost on the way.
Cottage Prayer Meeting this
week was held at the residence of
Mrs. W. II. Pound. The meeting
eext Wednesday evening will be
held with Mr.. and Mrs. b. D..
Parker DR., Every one is cordial.
! ly invited to these informal pray.
err and praise services.
It's no in titles nor in rank
It s no III wealth fike Lo,hhs hsf On Banl
To purchase peace and rest.
It's no in maxim muckle, mair:
It's noin books. it's no in lea,
To make us truly blest:
If happiness hae not her seat
An better in the breast.
We may be wise, or rich. OF
great.
But never can be blest.
Mac treasurs nor pleasures
Gould make us happy long:
The heart ay's the part.ay
That make us right or wrong"
Burns.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Advertised List

Mail remaining uncalled for at the
.Julesburg Post Office for the month
ending March 9Th 1913.
Frank Banick
U. 5. Bethers
Will Fleming ~
Alettc Foster
Jose Hermosillo ~
Frank Jones ,-
In calling for these letters please
saw advertised
After 80 days these letters Will fe sen'
to the dead letter office.
c. W. White
P. NJ.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06

Twelve hundred tickets were sold for
ben HUI" last night and the Victoia
Theatre overflowed long before eight
O'Clock. The chariot race was mar
velously rendered with the aid of
large number of great pictures that
have no duplicates in America.
Lafayette, Ind.
At The Julesburg Opera House Satur-
day night March 9Th.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Watch Repairing

If your watch is out of repair. bring
it to US. Wen right it. About once
a year the proposition of cleaning and
oilng your watch comes up. It's then
you want to think of me.
FRED WEISS THE JEWELER.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
lteDs for the Week Among
Julesburg's F uture Business
Men and Women

y Men and Women
Lena Lamb visited school Fri
day.
Report cards for the month of
February were given out Tues
day.
Bessie Cannady returned to
school Monday after d weeks
absence.
Mrs. Reed gave IL lecture on
Domestic Science before the
school Tuesday.
Martha Lundell, Edna Kingston
and Herbert Poole were amoung
the sick the fore part of the
week.
Miss Eismann favored the
school last Thursday morning by
singing three German songs,
which were we'll rendered.
The Sterling girls were enter
tanned at Il dance at the Opera
House following the game.
The following pupils received
five E's for the month of Fcbru-
ally: LauraTabaree. Dorothy Nc
New and Martha Lundell.
Miss Cleveland, the Physical
Director for Women, of the In
dustriaI Art High School, accom-
panied the Sterling girls here
Saturday.
TIE Literary Society will give
its tasszpsegam March 9th. The
debatMs of special interest---------
Resolved that American ships en-.
gagged in Coast WISE traffic should
be exempted from toll at the Pan.
ANA Canal.
On Tuesday Old Glory was seer
to float over the High School and
unfold her stars and stripes to the
breeze in honor of Inauguration
| Day. This Inauguration is of spec
ial interest to the schools as it is
! the first time that Il college presi
dent has been elected to the high
est office in the land.
s. G. ii. S. Girls Win Over
Sterling Score "A to 10
saturday night the Sterling girls
made their initial appearance ii
JuIcsburg. The local girls had
no trouble in defeating them as the
game was slow and devoid of any
i special features, it being played
under girls rules.
The Sterling girls proved to be
much better losers than the boys
that hailed from that town as the
Sterling captain remarked that
they would rather lose to Jules
burg than any other town because
Of the hospitality that was extend
them while here.
A double header basket ball
game is staged for Saturday night
The girls from the kimbali Coun-
ty High School will be here in full
force to contest for honors with
the local girls. We do not know
the strength of cur western niegh-
bors but as theE play Chappell on
Friday night we believe that the
locals should easily defeat them.
A boys game is also staged in con-
nection with the above. This
means two good games for one ad-
mission.
Tuesday the Senior class held Il
meeting in, the office to decide
upon the plays to be given by the
Senior class.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Millinery Opening

Ladies', l will have on display Saturday
March 18th, complete and up-to-date
hats for Easter.
Mar. GLIB. Mrs. H. A. Conover.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
Young Folks Enjoy Party

a number of young people had
a very pleasant surprise on Fred
Volts last Sunday evening.
Every one had very enjoyable
time. The evening was spent in
playing cards and other prarty
games.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06

Put up good fence and let the hogs
and other animals go after the waste
places, pick up the lost grain, eat and
grow fat on that which otherwise
would never bring a penny. The best
and only fence sold by the Ovid Lum.
ber Co.
The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1913-03-06
For Sale

Studebaker Twenty FLANDERS Auto
mlble. Practically good as new. Can
give good terms. Inquire at First
Natl. Bank, Julesburg, Colo.
T. o. o,