Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1913-04-05
DAKOTA. SATURDAY.
AN ESSAY ON CUSTER CITY.


i Sushtof Slty 10 iOCdusOu III tu0 miuuI'
Of the Black Hills and the Black Hill
is in South Dakots and South Dakota il
in the United Shtatss and its the fines
wan of thin all. South Dakota is prin
cipally notorious for her polytics. M,
father, who 10 a Frinchman and bruthei
of Dan Delaney's says that the polytic.
of South Dakotah remind him of the hi
and miss carpets his auld Mither uset
to make in Germany. Whin you thinl
yer goin' to hit you miss, and whin yor
want to miss you hit.
The Black Hills is beautiful thrac,
of land covered with Forest Preserve,
which are infested with Mild rangers
who 60 abroad night and day seeking
whom they may dsvour. Next Shprinp
Cushter City will be the Metropolis Of
the Black Hills and South Dakota, and
of the whole United Shtates.
1t is boundsd on the North by Piety
Hill and the remanes of an auld dump
pile. On the East by the con- ju notion oi
Frinch Crick and Lafflng Wather, and
Calamity Jane. On the South by Dinnis
Carrigan's summer residence and by Pyro.
technic Hill which is used for the purpose
of discharging shticks of dynamite about
three o'clock Fourth of July morning.
1t is bounded on the West by the Town
Pump and the remanes of anither auld
dump pile. The town is laid off in beau.
tiful city shquares bounded by shtreets
and alleys filled with cattle and horses,
and weeds, and tin cans. Wherever
there are not cemint walks, there are
gravel pavsments and livery here, where
there amt anything, there's corduroy
sidewalks. Our cemint walks arc the
hwy of the nations. In the summer
tonne We use thin for fshin' ponds and
in the winther for toboggan shlides. o!
They are shure iligant!
There are great many hotels in the
town famous for being closed up mosht
of tho tonne. And there's three Dry
goods shtores, and whin any wan OF
thin is out of anything the ither two
are notorious for being out of it at the
same tonne. There are also three Groc-
cry shtores in this Metropolis. Two
OF thin are run by Irishmen and the
ither by an Automobile. There's mag
nifcient school building in the town
which is famous all the world over for
its corridors. You niver saw such cor.
ridors in yer life! Whiniver the tachers
are late at school they say its because it
takes thin so lons 10 walk thru the cor
ridors. They are equal to the Cataeombs
of Rome. l name the corridors not the
tachsrs.) There's Catholic church in
the town and two ither churches where
there only ought to be wan. Their re-
ligion's exactly the same but they've cot
their hard earned money in two church
bells and now they've got to use Thin to
get their money back. I've often thot
if they'd only sell wan of those bells to
the Fire Company how much throuble
1t would save. There are a great many
ither valuable institootions in the town
besides the churches. There's a shoe
makers shop aad mate market; and a
court house and novelty shtore; two
Aid Societies and a number of sawmils
few cranks and siveral lawyers; and q
Post Office and Parcel Post for schram-
bling irish eggs; and three Docthors and
q big undertaking establishment.
Cushter City abounds in automobiles
but the climate does not seem to agree
with thin. Harry Ways "Standabout"
forced to take the rest cure large
portion of the year. Tom Garlock .
beautiful "Ford" had severe attack OF
High Centeritis" recently, and was
towed in from the country by Steve
Ainslie and team of horses. 1t recoy-
cred in tonne tho, to be able to haul
Billy Lovett's iligant midland" that
had had a shtroke of paralysis right in
the middle of Main Shtreet, up to the
hospital. Perry Altaffer is the latest
proprietor of an automobile and he's got
wan that's built inst for two. It's to be
hoped that it won't be- afflicted with
heart throuble in this high altitude.
There are many beautiful landmarks
in Cushter, some of thin auld, and some
Of thin new. We preserve the former
and we deserve the latter. On Main
Shtreet is grand mica dump pile which
attracts the attintion of all the tourists
and the indignation of the natives. In
the middle of the town is shquare
owned by W. F. Hanley, an Irishman
on account of his ANCESTRY. On wan cor.
ner of this shquare is a foine auld his.
toric shack. On anither corner is an.
ither foine auld historic shack. On an.
ither corner is three quarthers of anithel
foine auld historic shack. On the ithel
corner there is nothing at all. Phat a
pity the shquare wasn't a thriangle
Then there's the spot where Hod Ross
first discovered gold only we don't know
where the spot is. Then there are Q
great many artistic lumber piles, sivera
sawdust parks, numerous collection o
historic residences owned by landlords
so historic they won't put sidewalks
down in front of thin. Cushtsr City
has foins system of Watherworke, thai
is run partly by tho town pump anG
partly by Ralph McHose. The only
throubls with this Watsrworks system
is that part Of the pump works all o
the tonne; all of the pump works par
Of the tonne; but all of MeHoss works
all of the tonne. The town also, has {
foine Electric Light Plant, and th'