davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Two Kinds Of panner.

Familiarity with danger sometimes
breeds contempt for II. II is y curl
Gus fact that employees who are en-
gagged in work that involves peril OF
fire or explosion have TO be restrained
by strict regulations for their own
good. But fire and explosion are not
the only hazard Some OF the insti.
tutions that seem farthest removed
from danger are really places of con
siderable hazard A small private bank
IN the village OF Charleston looked
about the hast place in the world
where an inmate might consider him.
self in danger, but danger was there.
Tie temptation 60 enjoy smoke at
the risk OF lives and property and the
loss of employment to 100 fellow-crea-
lures differs only in form from the
temptation to grow rapidly rich by un-
lawful use Of money deposited by
trusting fellow-citizens for safe keep.
ing, a small rate of interest and the
promotion of the business welfare Of
tbH community.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Edwin Love. son Of Edwin Lowe g,
Mcdaniel. Talbot county, Nd, exhi5-
tied recently q young chicken hawk
that he and his father had captured
after it had been trapped by com
mon land terTaPin.
MIR Lowe and his son we're walking
in the road near Mcdaniel Tuesday
morning when they saw the hawk hop
ping along in the road with something
hanging TO it.
Thinking the bird had been wound
ed. they approached ii with a view
OF putting it out OF misery, when they
saw what was hampering its move
ments.
The hawk had evidently tried TO
capture the terTapin, but was cap
tured itself. for one toe of the bird
was held tightly.iR the terrapin's shell
Both hawk and terrapin were picked
up and taken 20 Mr.. loves home, and
it WAS several hours before the terra
pin released its grip.-New York Sun.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

If hundred people be asked why
the horse chestnut Is 80 called, 30 may
say they do not know, and nine may
tell you that it is because, at the JUNG
ton of the leaves with the stem
there is little mark somewhat rcsen.
bling a horseshoe. But It happens
that this Is merely a chance occur
renee; the real reason is less farfetch.
ed. The horse chestnut tree. which is
purely ornamental. is largely used in
parks because OF its great beauty. al
though as timber il is OF little value.
The fruit is used in this country sole
~ for boys pIaythings. In Turkey.in-
Asia. however, where the tree is ma
tive, the fruit is ground and mixed
with the fodder Of the horses, and it
is from the fact that It is the horse 3
chestnut. as opposed 20 the chestnut
enjoyed by man, that this fine addi-
ton 10 our countryside takes its home
" Philadelphia Inquirer
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
GROWING STRONGER
Apparently, with Advancing Age.

AT the age OF 30 years ] collapsed
from excessive coffee drinking, writes
a man In Mo. For four years / sham
bied about with the aid of crutches or
cane. most Of the time unable 10
dress myself without help.
My feet we're greatly swollen. my
right arm WAS shrunken and twisted
inward. the fingers OF my right hand
were clenched and could not he ex-
tended except with great effort and
pain. Nothing seemed 20 give me more
than temporary relief
Now, during all this time and for
about 30 years previously. I drank
daily an average of 6 cups of strong
cOffee--rarely missing q meal
M wife at last took my case into
her own hands and bought some
Postum She made IL according 10 d.
rections and / liked :: fully as well
as the best high-grade conce
Improvement set in AT once In
about months | began u, work II
tie, and in less than year ! was very
BIr"h better Improving rapidly from
day 10 day. ! am now in far better
health than most men Of my years
and apparently growing stronger with
advancing age.
4 am busy every day at some kind
Of work and am able to keep ny with
the procession without "a cane. The
arm and hand that were once almost
useless. now keep far ahead in rapidity
OF movement and beauty Of penman-
ship"
Name given by Postum Co. Battle
Creek. Mich. Write for copy Of the lit
tie hook. The Road 10 Wellyiiie 20
Postum CRIMES In two forms.
rcsuisr Postum must be we'll boiled.
Instant Postum is a soluble powder.
a teaspoonfui dissolves quickly in :
cup Of hot water and, with the add
ton of cream and sugar. makes a de-
Iicious beverage Instantly.
There's q reason" for Postum.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
A LOOROAD

ample time during THIS long vigil 10
observe the smaller creatures OF the
Jungle ut close quarters il one lay
sull enough. Perhaps q little brown
marten would steal across an open
patch. or m1nal pheasant. calling
shrilly. would strut past in AL its
glory. One day n musk deer came
and grazed within thiity yards; these
pretty little animals are not allowed
to be shot in Chamba. The handsome
gray langora ape was a frequent Wis.
itor, and the brown monkeys were a
positive nuisance; they sat in the
trees close over ones head and kept
covetous eye on the lunch and cam
era.
Meanwhile. Lieutenant Edwards
had an exciting time With red bear.
While returning homewards after a
blank day. he spied two red bears on
hill above him. His shikari tried 10
dissuade him from going IN after
them, as it was nearly dark: but he
was much too keen TO accept counsel
and commenced climbing the hill.
They were soon at the spot where the
bears had been feeding. but found
that the latter had disappeared. evil
IDENTIFY into a large forest of deodars,
Taking his sos from the shirkari, Ed
wards walked slowly into this jungle,
the shikari following him with a u
bore loaded with BAH. They had pro
ceeded thus about twenty yards when,
! from behind a fallen tree within three
PAGES of them. huge brown head APP
peared and then vanished. Seeing the
bear numbering uphill. he shot and
stopped IT, With a snaTl it faced
about and charged straight down on
the hunter; instinctively he jumped
TO one side, firing another shot at
close range as the beast crashed past,
| without aiming OF even raising his
rife. The bullet missed its billet,
but the shot at such close range had
the effect of frightening the bear
which continued its rush downhill
| As he was raising his rife for third
shot, Alum touched his arm; he
looked around and saw the other bear
peer over the log for an instant and
| then disappear behind IL. A second s
| hesitation and he had fired at the
wounded beast, knocking ii head over
heels down the slope. Swinging
| round. he watched the log, but the
second bear had Disappeared II
would have been useless 10 attempt
| TO fellow it In such large jungle.
] even had the light been better As ~
was. they had only just time TO re
| gain the nuliah bed before dark.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
REALLY WASN'T A SINGER
Prospective Stage Hand Simply Did
His Best at the Command Of the
Manager in Charge.

Mrs D'oyIy Carte, who died recent
iy. used to tell this story OF the old
days at the Savoy. when her husband
was staging the famous Gilbert and
Sullivan operas,
A seedylooking individual applied
to Mrs. DOyIy Carte so persistently
for work that at last she referred him
10 her husband. At the moment the
latter was busy trying come candi.
dates for the chorus, but this did not
prevent the applicant from interrupt
Ing TO ask him for work. Mr.. DOyly
carte waved him on impatientiy, but,
after the applicant had repeated the
request once or twice, be gave In
and handed him the words OF a song.
Sing that" he said and he mo
toned TO the pianist to play the &C
compartment. Go on"
After some hesitation the stranger
lifted w his voice and sang. and the
result was so awful that the MANAGER
interrupted hurriediy
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
isarninn cnn

A young woman entered : sporting
goods store one morning. and The
polite clerk went forward to meet
her
Il wan" she said. 70 see some
golf clubs"
Certainly replied the clerk.
About how many DO you want?"
We'll, really she responded.
slowly. = scarcely know You sec,
am Just learning 70 play golf. and l
do net know much about il as yet.
Why. don't even know which end
OF the caddie TO use. ''-Lippincoft's
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

! see, senator" said the beautiful
young thing, that you intend TO en-
gage In a whirlwind campaign for re-
election"
Yes. There's nothing like a whirl
wind to fll peoples eyes with dust
where there is any dust to be--that IS
TO say. | intend TO sweep my enemies
like chaff from the scene"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
What,a the Answer Z

What gives us our sense OF ioath.
ing for the garden toad. demurely
useful little neighbor that he has
proved himself, while his second cous-
in. the frog. who seems to do nothing
but play the dandy and the braggart,
is uniformly treated as good fellow:
II the toad gulped and croafed all
night long. and made bis home in
slimy pools instead OF IN the melon
patch. would they reverse their ptes-
eut order In our esteem Atlantic.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

My husband is one of the most
stubborn men IN the world.
He cant he any more stubborn
than mine"
20. yes, I'm sure he must be. Yes.
terday ! had an engagement to nicer
him at three O'Clock"
"Yes?'
We'll. il was nearly +:50 when
got there. and he won't admit yet
that the rest he got while he was
waiting did him any good.--chicago
Record-Herald.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
The Usual WAY.

Il would never do for the farmers
TO got into the financial business of
the nation"
why not?"
From force OF habit they would
always be wanting TO water their
stock
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

stop. stop" he shouted. what
do yon mean by this tonfooiery3
You have the confounded impudeace
TO ask me for job7"
The stranger looked hurt We'll,
] didn't want to sing" he said. with
an injured air 7 Amt no singer.
I'm q stage carpenter, an only sang
to pelsse you. eos you asked me 10!
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Draftino the ExperTs.

What's become Of that bunch that
was always coming to town TO take 10
the sights?"
"What2 Haven't you heard? Whore
do you suppose we draft our material
20 formulate the VIE committees?'
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Made Him Short tempered.

'Bothering me again about that bill.
say, didn't ! tell you three weeks ago
that was short?'
Yes. but YOU are short too con
founded long Boston Evening Tran
script
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Physicians Recommend Castoria

ASTORIA has met with pronounced favor the part physicians pa
- ceutca societies and medical authorities. used by physicians with
results most gratifying The extended Of Casa unquesoaby the
result of three facts: FasThe nduabe evidence it harmless;
STh not only anays stomach pains and qu nerves. asm
es the food: ThT is agreeable and perfect substitute for Castor Oil
absolutely s does not contain any Opium Morphine other narcotic
does spey unlike Soothing Syup Drops Godeys
Cordial This good deal for Medical Journal say Our duty
expose danger and record the advancing The day
for poisoning innocent children through greed ignorance ought To
knowledge CaOa remedy which produces oompOse and health by
regulating the RystemnOt by SIMPLIFYING tand readers entitled
the information
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
&c ONLY opnortunitY.

Docs your wife talk in her sleep,
MAJOR
No, J talk IN her sleep ITS the
only chance get"--London Life
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Rut a Fiction

That Styx ferry business vas fine
said one manager.
How so?" asked another.
Its ferryman bad a way Of making
all the deadheads pay their WAY
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
The Main Thinq

Mother Katherine. what are the
intentions Of that young man you are
permitting 10 call on you So often?
Daughter Never mind that. moth.
or. I know what my intentions are.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

THAT beautiful Miss Slaughter R
we'll named
why so?"
Because she has such killing
ways
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
For sunburn. insect Bites.

Ivy Poison or any other skin iniiam
nation us Fyree's Antiseptlc Powder
and get quick relief. Csc. at druF
gists Sample sent free by ]. S. Tyree
Washington. ID. C.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Rogers is a bit of a sportsman,
isn't her IF going OF on wild goose
chases makes a fellow one, he is
BOSTON Transcript
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Look at this piece Of goods now
the coIors ran
Well. told .'ou they we're fast
coiors
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
sxmpathstIe Addiction

That impecunious noblemans rich
wife and his creditors are now sympa-
thizing with zach other"
ON what grounds"
lie beat both Of them"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

"Blobbs is self-made man,
hear"
you cant help but hear il II you
spend two minutes in his vicinity"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

We don't know what 20 DO with
that fellow. lie is an inveteratc
kicker
why not put him on your football
team?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Its CIaaa.

My incubator has been stolen
Then you have suffered fowl
wrong"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Mrs, winaiow's Soothing syrup for Chiioren
teething, softens the gums. reduces intiaDfnir
tioB, aiiays pain cures wind colo 25c bottle a.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Mrs. Comeup is getting along so
cially by leaps and bounds.
Yes; you see. she gives so manJ
hops
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
An Exesntlon.

Does like always produce like"
OF course"
Then why is poor health produced
by rich food?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

lie CATER siIence) The moons
FULL
She (contemptuously) What an
empty remark,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Song ufsfhe Husbands club: What
Arc TIE Wild Wives SAYING"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

No man is so selfish as 10 keep all
his popularity TO himself
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

You can get insured against any
accident except marriage.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

The spiritual treasures Of many fam
lilies are IN the Wife's name.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Getting a husband is an ART keep.
Inc him is a domestic problem
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
The Rearon.

He looked daggers at me.
No wonder you feel so cut.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

East Orange, X. j., has celebrates
it's semi-centennial
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

None are 80 bind as those who
don't believe anything they cant see.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24
Foley Kidney pills Succeed

because they are a good honestTad-
icine that cannot help but heai kid
neyand Observation-Disclosures
irregularities, if they are once taken
into the system. Try them now
for positive and permanent help.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

Might Have Leen Working
a dentist friend tells me he ha9
been down in the mouth lately"
Whose, | wonder
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1913-09-24

A narrow-gauge man never gets
very far on broad-gauge track
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
BATTLES SKILL OF DOCTORS
sis Bids Fair to Continue Its Ravaees for Some Time.

Five years ago a mysterious dis ease of northern Europe broke away from its old bounds and started on a unique and as yet unexplained mi grafton that has brought it to the United States and Canada. Polio myelitis, or infantile paralysis, which is an acute inflammation of the spi- nal cord, has aroused terror on ac- count of its power to produce defor- mites. Though this disease has been considered infectious, it was not proved to be so until 1909, when 1t was transmitted to monkeys by injec- tions of matter from the spinal cord of fatal human case. 1t now seems to belong to the class of about eighteen known diseases-including yellow fever, rabies and vaccinia- that have so-called filterable viruses, being caused by the plant or animal parasites that pass through fine DOT celain, and are too small to be shown by the highest power of the micro scope. The poliomyelitis virus may enter the brain through the nose and olfactory nerves. Even healthy per sons may be carriers, but there is no certain evidence that the disease is conveyed by bedbugs or other in sects or by domestic animals. The effective drug or serum remedy is still being sought, with uncertain prospects.
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
SEEMS LIKE LAW OF NATURE
That Physical AbnormaIity Means Short Life Is Fact Handed
 Down Through History.

The tallest woman in the world died recently. She was eight feet three inches in height, but she lived only thirty-eight years.
 This calls attention to one of na- ture's curious contradictions. Giants are notably short lived. Not long since boy nearly eight feet tall died soon after his eighteenth birthday ; and instances where men much above even feet in height have reached the age of fifty years are almost un- known.
 Length of days does not go with excessive length of limb. But tall ness which stops short of giantism usually is sign of vitality. Tall re- rruits in continental armies-provid- ed they are of proper weight-give least trouble from sickness and gain most from physical training. It must be remembered in this connec- ton that "tallness' is not the same everywhere. Men accounted tall in southern Italy would be rather short in western Scotland or among the native stock of America.
 It is as if nature had fixed a standard height for each race and punished by some physical shortcom- ing those who varied much from that standard in either direction.
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
Njaoara Falls Stories.

James Russell Lowell's remark that Niagara Falls had nothing else to do may remind us of the delightful Irish man who, called upon to be impressed by his first view of "all that water coming down such height" replied. Why wouldn't it?" But the best of recent Niagara stories is told in the last Argonaut. It is of the housewife who saw the falls for the first time. "Oh!" she cried, that reminds mel left the kitchen tap running"
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
NAUGHTY.

''She is willing to make up, but he isn't"
 'Why, last week he was willing to make up. but she wasn't"
 q know, but he's got an auto since then"
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
SHADY.

Mabs-Does she ever speak of her family tree?
 Tom-No; 1 think it was one of the shady sort of trees.
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
GROUND FOR BELIEF.

Kid-Say, dad, l think that man lost a dollar.
 Dad-How do you know? Kid-Cause I found it.
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07
HE EMEM BERED.

She-Iou brute! When I con- sented to marry you l can't think where my head was.
 He-On my shoulder, dear!
The Prescott daily news., 1913-03-07

Batesville, Ark.-A. J. Bailey writes: II suffered severely with kidney and .bladder trouble and was unable to work. 1 tried different remedies but received no benefit until 1 tried Foley's Kidney Pills, which entirely re lieved me of my trouble" Fer sale by Hesterly Drug Store.
The Springfield herald., 1913-04-04
FLOWERS IN THE HOUSEHOLD
Snapshot Of Quiet Domestic Scene
When Rivals Fought for the
Control Of Mexico.

To make flowers last week or
more. four things are necessary. First.
do not try to arrange them the mo-
ment you get them. but put them in
pail of water for few hours, SO that
every stem. will be under water up to
the flower. Second, cleanse the vase
thoroughly before putting in the flow
ers and change the water every day.
Third, the cooler you keep the flowers
the longer they will last. II you are
too busy in the morning to enjoy them
or have to go out for the afternoon. do
not leave them In the living room. for
they are not used to such a tempera-
ture. Every night put the vase In a
cool place, or better still, plunge the
stems up to the flowers in pail of
water. Fourth, cut about a quarter of
an inch of each stem in the morning.
1t is more trouble to do this under
water, bit it pays. II you cut the
stems in the ordinary way air bubbles
get into the stems and impede the TAX
ing in of water.-Delineator.
The Springfield herald., 1913-04-04

''I think suffered every pain wo-
man could before I began taking Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and
I think It saved this bsby's life, a I
lost my first one.
"My health has been very good ever
since, and praise your medicine to all
my friends" "-Mrs. VERNA WILKES,
R. F. D. No. !, Plattsburg, Miss.
The darkest days Of husband and wife
are when they come to look forward to
. childless and lonely old age.
Many . wife has found herself inca
pable Of motherhood owing to some
arrangement Of the feminine system,
often curable by tho proper remedies.
In many homes once childless there
are now children because Of the fact
that Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound makes women normal
II you want special advice write to
Lydia g. Plnkham Medicine Co. (eon1l.
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by .
woman and held in strict confidence.
The Springfield herald., 1913-04-04
DEMANDS ALIMoNY OR A FIGHT
Or. sedlaek's Wife overruIes Courts
Decision and Asks SIS a Week
Under Penalty Of Whipping.

Chicago.-If DR.. Charles A. Setback,
1912 South Ashland avenue, does not
pay his wife, Mrs. Rose Sedlack. SIS
week she will chastise him. That
was her ultimatum In the court of do.
mestic relations, despite the decision
of Judge Gemmill that her husband
need not pay her cent.
The judge gave that decision after
Mrs. Sedlack confessed she had al.
ready beaten her husband. That was
when DR.. Sedlack in relating his do
mestic woes told Of an attack made
on him by his wife's brother.
"Hah!" said Mrs. Sedlack. ut wasn't
my brother that beat him. did It
myself, and l can do it again."
When she heard the judges odict
that no money would be paid to her
she turned to her husband. and, shak.
ing finger at him, warned:
I'll get you; depend on that. I'll
get you"
Before she could say more she was
escorted to the door by an oficer.
The Springfield herald., 1913-04-04
Queer Ironlno.

A writer in the Wide World maya
zine says that the most curious sight
he saw at Cairo was men ifoning
clothes with their feet! The men
were employed in the native tailoring
establishments
Except for the long handle. the
irons were shaped like the ordinary
fiat-iron, only larger. A solid block
Of wood rested on the top of the iron,
and on this the men placed one foot,
guiding the iron in the desired direc-
ton by means of the handle. For the
sake of convenience. ironing boards
were raised only few inches from
the ground. and. however strange the
method may seem to US, the work
was done very well and very expedi-
tiously.