davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08

&egen bon 9lep Yorf nod Der 9lr-
Oesbonptituot qefiibrt bate. DC
nerol~ Soncs itrablte BON Stol5 ulO
6renoe. Sic trlg einen aroBcn
StrauB ugImerican @coutp" 9toien,
Oeren pradtpolleSgiot lid lcbboit Don
Dem onnflen Braun i6res Eilgerges
man0es ob6ob.
Mos Die Yoraoc ais iolhe anbe.
ldugt 10 bate Die beiiereS ShidioI
uer0icnt. Mit groBem 6leiB mlsge-
arbeitet. nit @cidid i%ui5enicrt, mar
lie pom ortiitiiheu ioipobl als pom
hiitoriihen Stauopunft aus ooIlfom.
linen, mo miir0e Den 3iiiAulcrn. bit
ten tie iidl nnr pie 5ipiliiierte Wien-
ldleu benonrmelI, eiu lhones, iarben.
|rcidcs Shaulpiel geboten baben.
Sn Mnbetra6t oerllnGulanG.
|lidfcit Der Acknowledgements 3lru
Shuse Der 5uiiragettcu-&oro bat
Der Senat folgenOc Geiolutiol erlai
len:
o9ei6loiicn, OaB ole aommiiicr
Oes 9iltrifts Columbia n1O Ncr 80
li5ei Superilten0ent oes 0iitrifi:
Columbia iolcll bierbei a~iiacnieiei
tperOcn ilno limo bierbei angemieien
Den Seuat ST %iniornIieren. marul
Die 0ireftioneu Ger @cuaeinihoitlid
ell CHARACTERIZATION 164, onB Der $50
li5ei Superintenoeut oes Giitrift4
Columbia irgenO mclder St0runl
Scr Suffrnacttenporo0c an 3. MGr.
1913 D%orbcngcn iole, uidt bcfolg
poroen iino.~
Auberoem bat Ser Sennt Elm lin
tcriuhullgafomitc eingcieBt, uiO il
0aiielbe Ole Sendtoren SSoucs. Gil
linghnm mo Yomercnc ernannt
Gem &ernebmen nadl mill Hepr1icn
tatipe @o6ion I'M 0ons nah oem&ie
Oer5ulammentretcn o%ciiclbeu d6nlid)
MaBregelu bcontraaen.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
sesbunOOampfsr gsiaciisri.

81. Sobns, q. g., 6. @Gr5. =
0as critic llngliid in gcrbinOuno
nit Ocm Scehunoioug oieier Soiion
mluOe scitern bierber bcridltct: Ger
0ompier u9a6raoor@. Gin SccbmO-
iobrer, lit geidcitert ilno beiinOei
lid IN iiufenoem 3uitonoe. Ser aus
t40 9erionen 6~ciiebenoen Momt.
ihaft 0esieI6en lit Is jcooh geliin,
gen, mobI6ebalten 81 IonOen. Ger
Gnmpier miro mabridcinIid pol.
itdnOig perloren icin.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08

@ai6ington, 2. 6, 6. Mdr3.
HrdIioent @iliou CAB Gsite 5fuci q.
nntoren cine praftiide 3emonltra.
ton ser AnuenOung ieiner neurn
Yotsrmaac : Hcgel. gie Senatoren
9rDan uuo 6ast6er pom 6lorina
ipraden I'M 8eiBeu Salis Dor, I'M
Die Grnenmitlg cines 9iitriftrihters
unO zines 9rn0esamualts I'M TRo.
Iifen 9iItritt pon 6loriod SIT beipre.
dlen. Ger Br1ii0cnt empfing lie
5tpnr b0Flidl criiidJtc tic aber, mit
benz @cneroIanpolt be8iiglid oicier
G%rnennungen 5u ipre6en.
Pin ieinem 5lpeiten Eoge e%rlpartetc
ben g~rGlioenten cine lange Site boa
engagements. Inter Sen Griteu Die
empfongeH lDuroen bcionO iid ga.
ron Gl5inoa Der iopaniide 8otfhuf.
ter, mclfer Sic @liiApiinide oes ia.
paafiden RoiIerS itberbrndte. Autb
Auglltus 16onaS ltn0 8reoerif s.
9eniielo, guetdlc poransiidtlid) 8ot-
Idafterpoiten an cltrop1iihen 00fe1
erhaiten pucr0eu, spitrDen i'm 9aule
Des EaaeS enlpianaeu.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
snffraastten : &draOe.


annm acringer ais Die Menldeit-
menge, Die an Snaugnrationstnge
Die Eenniplpania Npenue aniiiatc.
maren oie MaIicn, Ole an Gage nor=
Der oieielbe s(Denue binauf- uno bin-
a%bpoatcn. IS lit iammerIha0e, Dob
ste Tnraoe infolge Ger 3ugelloiig-
felt 0icfer Maiien EN- 10 rltbmloies
gnoc ncbmen, in Gin Nidts berpuf-
fen miBtc. Wfan mag iiber Die 6rait-
cnbemegltug 0enfen uie man mill,
mas bier norfam, gerei6t unierer
Staot mo ibrcr YoIi5ci fiber nidt
gum Rubme. Shreiber oieies lit
9etDiB nidlt Elm 8efiirtporter 0es
r@ptes for women". @r glaltbt, OaB
Wutter Natur IN neiier 8oriiht ies
Dem @clhledte feline Spb1re an-
mics, oab ole Jrait aaeS oas ourd
iold Elm @erportreten perliert, mas
lie liebenswert mo perebrungsmert
maht. DAB lie piel BON ibrer Meib-
lihfeit, Oielem ibren b0diten Hei5,
cinbiiBt. Gr gInnbt, OaB mir ra III
en- brnldeu, imo nidt Wdnncr in
@oden. 9lber ons bat nihts gu Tim
nit ben @orfdIlen am lebtenM ontag.
Medt muB Hedt bleiben. NodOem
Die Suffragetten Oie @rlallbnis err
balten batten, bic Iaraoc ab8lIbnl=
ten, nodoem linen Boli8eiidub 5ll-
gclaqt mar, muBte ibnen Oieicr ShiIB
aud 5ltteif meroen noa mo gallas
9[ber sic 5000 TraileiI. welhe m Der
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08

Mfltd1eu KllIlttl uh9 FFttlHiVpuuNtd
miro silm 9sadfolger 8urleion's ais
Gmicus 8criiter eetud9lt weroen.
3mpi meme 9auOels sc.
fret1re.
audl 5pei Nitelieoer 0er3wiiden.
Eoatliten @ouoeIs. Gimmiifion mur-
ben u~orgeitern ernonnt, Cigar +.
Glort pom Sorpo Rn0 Sobn $.
Marble BON California. Sdon Bra.
Iioent Gaft bate l6errn Glart tpie.
bcreruonnt, bod Der o~emotrotiide
5enot butte NIT Der 8eit1tigia1g ae.
sOgert.
Mar6lc miro DER RodfdIser BON
Nranflin &. Rnne. Cane lit gum
Sefret6r oes Snucrn erboben nor.
ben. MARBLE lit nit ben gefuenii.
len zines Gommiiidrs uoaouf per-
iraut, GA CT felt Sabren nIs Setre-
tar Der Gomuifiion iumgirt bat.
@rfI1rt ipur0e geitern oaB Nra.
iiOent @iion Die ernennung OeS
goitOuer AmfuaIts 20uis Q. BranO-
els oIs elmer Der sIbidydtungs o.
perten Der 8tpfihenihnntIiden son.
Oels @ommiiiion benbiidtiot.
Die Grnennung @Iarf's wiir0e -.
lcrt Dom Setlat beit1tiat Die 0es
@crrn MorbIe siis an Ons auitdn.
oige gomite.
Sn's EriuotIeben.
Bof9ington .. g.. 6. Mar3.
Die @eumteu Der Enit a0mini.
i!rnticiL meIdc benz neiien grdIiOen.
len @ition ibre @eIignatiOn eiuge.
ian0t Inben, babeu oiif ibren Eul,
len ~tabllla rnia" gemnHt, inn lid1
ms RripatIeben 5uriid3u5ieen. DE-
neral (. 9oitmeiiter Sitdrud geOenft.
iid iehs Nonnte 9lltbe su s0nnen
mo cine Reiie nadl Canon ia ma.
dsen; General Anpnlt @iaeribam
MIRO cine @eiie un Die BeIt outrp.
ten; Sdobamt Comptroller 2. Z.
Srocepea febrt nod SnOinna Sn.
rid; Sefretdr 0iiber nnh Chicago;
5taats Sefret1r Seuor bat oos ibn
ton Gait n~ngebotene Mint ais Com.
miildr in 6uog abaelabnt; SiIis.
itaotsiefretdr $. @i4ion plant cine
Geiie ms AiisInno; Gormi Tbomps
Jon, bisDer 8unoes Sdnbmeiiter.
geoenft nod) 0bio 5lsriid5nfabren;
Die Stills Sdotomtsiefretdre n. 6.
9ailep uno Atlen boben geIhdftIife
SteIlunscn onaenommen; 0hESR-
tretdr Curtis seoenft iid in 9oitcn
Der &edJtsproris 5u piomen.
ri paOmntenma9I
Na1Gfngton 3. g., 6. Mars.
Rr1iiocnt @tllon so6 geItern he.
tanut, er babe @iaiam 3. SIC.
Combs, Dem @~orlisenOpu oeS Demo.
tratllheu RntionoI Counties, elmer
8otidafterpoiteh a~naeboteu, neil
6ieier cine misunderstanding abas
ld]lngen ba6c ltto er fir Die ullsaudr.
tiaen SteIitngen M1nner piinfde,
meLfe 10 befdbigt ieien, mie eS ein
aobinettSmiteIieO iein miiIie. ge.
tannt lit, Dab es lid nm oen BOT.
ifafterpoiten in @oris bon0eIt 1ino
Die Greunoe 0es 0errn Rcgombs
glaubeu, oaB er Oos Amt annamen
miro, in aueld1em Sale er Dos oes
goriibenoen oes NotionaI . Counties
nieoerIegen miiBtp.
Tim 6iegroe.
8ai9ington, Z. g., 6. M6rs.
George V. @ideri6om, gr4@enernl.
AnaUaIt, begdb iih gcitern nod Weu
yorf. non mo airs CT it'd nod Sdn
5ronclSco 6egeben miro. Bon BORT
oiiS miro cr am 10. Mar5 init ieincr
Coffin cine @eiie nm Die GrOe on.
treten.
AnS Sn0inner91n6en
5 befreit.
: Caracas, g~eneSuelu, s. Mdr;.
! Die 6eiOen bel Tctroleum . Mitbatlt.
acn N Der 9tdte oes @arocoibO.
Sees Don Mctilones SnOioneru
aehalioeren omerifaniiden Wainen.
: S%necnienre @uu q. 9iorae unO 8il.
liam SesIic EoUIor ans EuIut6
= Wfftn inn f,..k =. r
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
@Nbimctt tUirb
%beIt6ti0t.
TerbanOImnssH int Genai iibsr
GrnsnnumseH.

erpau's rdtbieI6nitc Grfldrung.
Stern oils 6iibrcr auserieben. =
gicEe SanoeIStmmer.G s mnii
fare. GroOus non 9eamten.
9otiduiter iiir EariS. slmeri.
foner befreit.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08

OaS neue cabinet, oas
Hr1iioent @ilion erndmt bat, lebt
lid aus folgenoen Serren Snlammen:
@. S. 8rpnuy StootSminiitcrinm;
@m.@ @cslOoO, Sinau5miniltcrium;
SinoIeD A. @arriion. ariesSmiuiit.
Somes s. McNepnoIos, Snir3min.
s. Daniels, Morinemiuiiterinm;
hilbert 3. 8nrlelon EoItminiiterium
@m. s. &eofielO, SnnOeIsminiit.
Srouflin 81. Zane. Miniitcrium ocS
Snlern;
0opiO e. @ouiton, IcferbnuminiIt.
@m. 9. @ilion. IrbeitSminiIterium.
8oi6ins ct N, g. s., s. I1rS.
Ter Bunoesienot beitGtigte geitern
III faiim finn @inllten ole i0mmtli,
den NlitgIieoer OpS RnbiuettS, Oercn
9tnmcn 8raiiOent gsiIion einIdidtc.
Gle Sefret1rc Ser perldieocnen Der.
roltnnes5peige legten sleid) Oarairi
Ioet 9lntseio ob. gin1ia gegen Die
Grnenmtng Oes @nnoels Sefretars
|NeOfielO muroe gimDanO trbobrn,
|unD 5ruar bon Scuntcr @alinger.
9eBtcfer team q linn nidlt perleIhen.
Dab q ihiI bei Ser fiir3liaen TIMER.
mdung OeS gisnoes @erIderiugS.
gommiiidrS ngriff. Gs lit oieier
gommilidr Elm Sdnpiegel obA Sol
fingers.
Stoatsiefretlr @iaiom Scnninss
SrDan wor Der Grite. Der ieiH BIZ
reau anfnldte. Sefret1r 3nor EN-.
ping i'm perionlidl mo lteIIte ION
ole G9eiS Der ueridieoencu lIntera6'
tbeilungen Dor.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
0art OrI
Der Mrbcit.
gSiliru ali icinsm ?. Amtstasc.
ieBr beidafiigt.

6remoc @lad1te ii6crniitteIn ibrc
GiiidwiiniNe Oil Oen neucn
9rGliOcliien. @ilion's Ga
Sinctt bait iciue Grille SiBunJ
ab. Wrileral @ooo miro Sor.
crit oui ieinem |oiten bleibcn.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
& NJ / mn /:

rE 81
Ddeid nnm sem 6rii6itiid benad.
ridtiqte @rdlioent @illpn sic 0iit,
gIieoet oeS G%ubiucs iidJ mn II llbr
air eriten fornellen Sisnna ini @ei.
Zen Sous ein5lifin0en. Ger 8rdii.,
Dent miro porauSiidtlih mS6reno
Ser n6dJiten 5pei @odeu nicr gu
binet 5isnngen au56entlih ob6af.
ten. @enerolnmpalt Dfc&c9nolo,
GtuBamts Spfretar Mcg(0co una
9anoels 5efret1r &eofielo legten
6elrte ben SmtseiO ab. Sci Der Ga-
binetSiitung auirOe iiber sic Crnen-
nurg bon einigen 6ilfsiefretdrrn &C.
Iproden.
Gtoatg Sefretdr 8rpdn suurSe
nneeuieien, oie bon ben frcaiocn
Eerrihern eingeImnenen 8liif-
purih E~elegranme 81 bea ttuor.
ten. Gailer MSipselnl uilo sa6nig
@eorg BON GngloipS muren mtcr
Oen GrIten, meldc Dem neuen tBrd.
lioenten ibrc @liidipiinibe oli teIe.
grapbildem @cge iibermitteltc i.
@eneral @op0 bIeibt.
@ic I'M 8ricgSs 1epartement BETTE
ongefiGnOigt mllroe, miro @eneral-
Maior @eonaro $1,000 elmer @erfii-
glillg bon 4rdliOent ggilion eutipre-
hcne porerit scr @eneralItsbshci
Der Armec blciben. 4rd1ioent gaft
crnonnic ibn fir oicr Sabre mo Bic
Ter 9crmin Iauft IN einem Sasr uuO
fiinf Monntcn nb. 8ieIe glni6elL
DAB CT ieinn Scrmin auSaieuca
Tam.
@ic0er IN Mmt.
Sic lebtc 6nlrolung NON Sya1nes
@ilIOn ais 2lderbnn : Sefretdr mar.
6. 8. elliott apieOer dig Snnpt-5n-
geniehr fir Drainage lnterinfuts.
gen i'm Mferbau , 9epartement eil.
8uieken Serr elliott aDnr bon 90.
fretdr Mjlion tuegen ieines @erbal-
tens in @ersiwOuug nit Der 8Iorisa.
gperglnocs : llnteriuhung abgeiebt
iporOer. Cine bonn gongreB einge-
Ieitetc llnterlufuns reftfertigte gl-
Iiott.
~0ipIomotifher Eog per.
legt.
Sod benz bisberigcn @ebraitb
bdtte Sfnotsiefretdr grDan beute
OnS oipIomatiihe Corps empfnngen
io[em Gicle Gmpfdnse baben Oeil
3ipef, sen ilelien Stnotsiefretdr nit
ben Yertretern Der FremOeu Mdhtp,
NIT 6enen er 81 tbln 6nt, bcfnnnt 5u
mafelt. Ter @mpfnng Miro in bic.
fem Sabre ODER mnbriheinIih crit
am nddlten 9onuerItag itattfinoen
Aue gotidufter. @eianOteu unO Sc.
Idaftstr1ger IN @aIbington aDerOen.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
8rpon's %aniprnde.

gemerfcnSqpertb mar ole 4nipre
1e, Ole 9err @rDan al ieinc Inter.
6eamten bieIt. Gr crfI1rtc, oaB 81
ridt in Der Gage lei, ibnen 81 eroii.
nen, mic Iange lie ailf i1rsn Yoiteu
5leiben wiiroen, unO legte nnbe, OaB
CT pic1cidJt ielbit nidt icbr large i'm
Alnte bleiben mcr0c.
9tut Der Setrct1r hes 5lotten.1e.
partements. ioluie Der @eneral-An.
malt McSieDnolOS beauben lib sIeitl
nod locr 9~lblcguns oes smtseios in
ihrc @ureaur, 2ebterer meiB I'M Sii.
iti5 GepartenIent uolaEi @eIteio,
ga er al Deridieaenpn Yro3eiien &c.
gen Den Inbaf ! Eruit intereiiirt &C.
peien lit.
SIN Ader6ou- 9epartement mllBte
Sefrrtdr @oiiIton Die Grfabrung ma
den, ooB iein Gorgdnger @ilion, Der
ununter6rofeu 16 So6re I'M gmte
gcueien lit, iein Eltreou nod nidjt
mrsecr1unt batte. Chen ole LANCE
Nmts5eit bat on5u gefii6rt, Dab Gr.
SefretGr @ilion ne5r Dofumente 81
orOnen bot, ais irgeno elmer Ser Sol.
legen.
9hn leihteiten 9aben cs Sic aa5i.
nettsmitglieoer gnrleiou, IanielS.
Game uno NeofieIo, iid in i6rem O.
portcmentS ein5uridten, GA lie idyor.
ieit 9ongem in @olbiugtou onidiiia
limo uri0 MIR aus einem Bureau in
Dos onOere iiber5uiieoeln brauden..
aern III Senut 8iibrcr.
AIs Jiibrer Der 9cmofrotcn i'm
gunbesienat wivroe seitcrn Sdbn ",
Stern ans Suoiano geiu1blt. IS
wuroe ibm oieie @bre i'm Caucus pel
Aeclomotion 81 05eiI. Son scr
neuen oemofratiid)cn Senototcr
fehIte MIR elmer. Soc 7. Ho6inior
ccn Nrfouios.
Aid) Die Gemofrnten l0es l0auicS
GieIten ibren Caucus al. Ger aui
riti por non Dem GonsreB N6ge
croneten Siirleion aus 9eros, Sci
5um General . @oitmciiter cruanni
worOen III. einbernien aporoeu. \
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08

92itdea galmcr aus @enniulDania
miro sum 9~lodfotger gurleion's ols
@mlcils 8criiter getudblt weroen.
3Bpei meme 8auOeIs &C..
f~ret1re.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
anS SnoinnerbdnSen
befreit.

u = Z IFV Ut
befreit.
Caracas, geneSueG0, 6. Mdr;.
Tic 6eiOen bel Eetroleum . Mrtbatrp
gen N Der 9tdee oes @arocoibO.
Sees Don @Otilones SnoionerH
aepanoeien omerifoniiden Vlinen.
S%necnienre Sup y. 9iorae unO 8iI.
liam Seslie EoUIor ans EilIut6,
D'inn, iinO laast in Caracas einac.
ganaener omtIi6en @eIOuna, beireit.
yeioe limo Der MeI0una sufoIae
muBlbebaIten.
Washington Journal., 1913-03-08
I'm Die 9 roe {.

8ai9tngton, .. g., 6. Me6rs.
George U. @ideribom, grs@enernI.
AnlUoIt, begdb iid gcitern nod Nelu
yorf. non 100 ans er i'd nod Gdn
6ranciSco 6egeben miro. Son BORT
oiiS miro cr ann 10. @ar5 init leincr
@nttin cine 3eiie nm 6ie GrOe an.
treten.
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20
Jollies by Nay irwin
Sample Laugh Producers
From Her Farce, "WidoW
+ BY Proxy" Which Be-
gins Columbia The
ater Engagement
Tomorrow

Miss Irwin and the young man who
attaches himself to her are at tea
She asks
DO you take sugar? How many
lumps?"
How many do you take? I'll have
the same as you have"
1 suppose if put nitroglycerin in
mine, you'd say. Pass the matches "
Miss Grey. what do you say to dis
carding your tea gown for trousers?
They're the latest cry from Paris"
What do say about it? Why, I'm
perfectly willing if other people are. .
You know you don't have to wear
stockings with them. Instead you
wear your monogram on each Leg
How lovely Then I won't have
to wear a card easel And why not
have your telephone number Just be-
low the monogram"
bill"
~Oh. was she? What did she say p"
She said you shouldn't buy clothes
If YOU can't pay for them"
Well. this is no Eden. II it was.
I'd be the happiest one in the
orchard"
I have beautiful Paquia gown
shot with gold, that I'd like you to
look at"
oh, I'd love that-rd love anything
shot with gold at the present mo-
ment"
Come on Dolores. Wen go back
TO New York where nobody loves any
body"
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20

before. What are you laughing
ate''
Are you sure you have been
beneath the water?"
Haven't II"
None of your business"
Here called the Dayton
Flood. this way to the Disaster
Department-if you are so inter-
ested In Submarines, give me
little of your attention"
And whom may you be?"
Me? I'm the Dayton Flood.
and I came pretty near being
Submarine above water - which
particular fact also interested the
Patent ONCE"
lust what do you propose to
show?"
IT propose to show the main
street in Dayton from the day
before the great disaster. for the
three days and three nights dur
ing 1t, the day after and the Res
toration."
You are going to be rather a
pleasant little playmate" I sug-
gested.
IT am not supposed to be Co
median," answered the Dayton
Flood, but I am going to put
before the Public an exact Re-
production Of a disaster that shook
this entire country. You needn't
wink continued the Flood. catch
ing Murphy at it red handed, "and
I'll repeat for your benefit that
am going to reproduce the Day
ton Flood"
Moving Pictures?" I ventured.
Pictures nothing-stationary or
moving REPRODUCTION. Look
1t up when you go home. What
/ have in my theater will have
nothing to do with Moving Pic
tures'
But you can't have a flood
without water"
TERRORS OF THE
TORTURING TIDE
And don't intend to try.
While the audience is seated
looking at the stage they will see
the Main street in Dayton just as
1t was before the catastrophe.
They will hear the alarm bells
and the whistles of a thousand
factories notifying the people of
the overflow of the River. They
will witness an actual flood, with
real wet water, rise to eleven feet
in height. submerge the street
they are looking at. and they will
witness all the Terrors of that
Torturing Tide"
Fine" applauded, Go ahead"
After the Flood we will show
you the awful days and nights
that followed-the burning of
two city blocks-and we will in
troduce to you for the first time
In any of the Worlds Reproduc-
tions an actual Cloud Burst. The
rain will turn to snow, and as the
water gradually recedes you will
behold sight that has no paral-
lei in the Worlds History"
Let me understand this mat
ter" interjected, this Is all to
be done by mechanical effects,
Is it?'
1t is. consider myself Me-
chanical Masterpiece"
THE audience actually sees all
these things. do they? The on
rush OF the waters, the downpour
of the torrents, the burning of the
City and the distress of the peo-
ple?'
They do, and from a comfort
able seat. You will be so bewil-
dered by the fascination of the
spectacle that you won't have
time to consider how 1t is done
until you get outside
"And then?"
you will have to pay us an
other visit. for every time you
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20

The Family club. as is well
known, has for it's sacred symbol
the Stork, and the handsome en-
try into the club building is dec
GRATED with an art glass portrait
of the noble bird which is sponsor
for large families.
That is by way of introduc-
tion.
One afternoon Mr.. Ward was
seated by an open window. medi-
tating on the wisdom of the race
and other things, when he noticed
two women climbing the hill in
Powell street
One was showing the other, evil
IDENTIFY stranger. the sights of
San Francisco, and scraps of her
information came up casually to~
Ward by the open window
There is the ST. Francis hotel,
we Just passed it. and there is
Union square, where Admiral
Dewey stood when he accepted the
task of capturing Manila bay"
came up to the architect as he sat
by the window.
Then the two women stopped
and examined the entry to the
Family club house.
And this" said the San Fran
ciscienne, rs the maternity hos
pital-see the sign Of the Stork."
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20
FRED w. SWANTQ

gallons of II. You enter the Con-
ming Tower of the Submarine.
which will be duly and thor
oughly officered and manned, take
your seat opposite a Port Hole.
and when the Boat is filled, you
will descend beneath the water"
How many people will it take
to fill a Boat?"
Forty six"
And how long viii it take to
make the trip?"
Between twelve and fifteen
minutes. depending, of course,
upon the condition of the weather
After you arrive at the bottom of
the Lake, you are taken from
Zone to Zone and back again
passing through all manner and
kinds of tropical and marine
growths, and being assaulted upon
all sides by the animals of the
mighty deep"
Real animal life?"
Well, / should say so-from a
soft she'll crab to an octopus,
there will be nothing missing
You will feel the boat scrape on
Coral Reefs. You will pass
will both hear and see the Sub
marine Band play under water
which is what they are doing,
and not the name OF a piece"
''Bht Just how do you manage
all this?'
'Tf you knew that" retorted
the Submarine, you would own
the Concession. Nothing doing
49, 49,
private lives"
Please continue" I urged. II
feel as though 1 was all wet any
how. What else?"
II want you to understand that
the Boat you are In Is real steel
Submarine Boat, designed by
Lieutenant James B. Howell, who
was only prevented from going to
China by the Under Tow Route
for lack of a Pass Port"
Considering what you are
going to take people through, I
am delighted 10 learn that you
are not going to build these crafts
out of Dry Goods Boxes-Then
where do you go?"
"A cold blast announces the
frigid Zone. You see and pass
through Ice Bergs, are dazzled
by the Aurora Borealis-you en-
ter the blue Grotto of Italy-pass
through the Sargossa Sea-see ma
tive Pearl Divers assaulting Per-
fectly Peaceful Pearls--ride by an
old Spanish wreck-witnes bat
tie between Diver and a Shark
and then, just before you come
up. we show you the cross that
marks the spot where Cook and
Peary stopped, looked and list
ened"
''All in twelve minutes? ?"
"All in welve minutes"
And under water?"
And under water"
Say" called Murphy, address,
ing the Submarines, -for heaven
sake give the Engineer the Up
Signal, my ears are ringing.
There, that's better; now where
are we?"
TAKE THE CHANCES
WITH THE BUBBLES
I'VE are now in the Promenade
Joke Garden, and it might be well
to use a little care in just what
you do and where you STEP"
This is a physical wit village,
is it?' queried Murphy
1T is.''
Lets go down again." he chal-
lenged. when it comes to two
stepping on Surreptitious Springs,
I'll take my chances with the bub-
bles."
by the way" I said, who was
the elderly old party I saw just as
we came up?"
do you mean the old man who
was surrounded by Nymphs and
Sirens?"
"The same"
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20
Bright Cohan Lines
, Wit From the Play "The Man
Who Owned Broadway" to
Be Given at the AIcazar
Next Week
Tom-Well it's all over.
Lyons-What's all over?

Tom-Well it's all over.
Lyons-What's all over?
TOm-Everything
Lyons-Wel you're not going to
play the broken hearted hero. are YOU
Itll turn out ell right 1t always
does in plays. Remember. my boy,
We're only in the second act I'll bet
you anything this play ends happily.
Toni hope so.
Lyons-If it doesn't, the authors
crazy.
Tom-what will all those people
think2 (pointing to crowd gathering
on the stage).
Lyons-You mean the chorus?
Tom-Wiu you ever act seriously?
Lyons-No, I'll leave that to Dave
Warheld. I'll, stick to musical COM
edy as long as George Cohan. will
write them for me.
Reporter represent the Provi-
dence News.
Lyons-A monthly, isn't it? The
last time I played. In Providence a
little boy In the gallery cried all
through the play.
Reporter-Why?
LyOns-He was afraid to sit up
there alone.
Ethel-How do you do, Mr.. Lyons? !?
Lyons-How do you do, Miss
Eunter?
Ethel correcting him)-Miss VIII
son.
Lyoas-Oh, my mistake-thats all.
BridweIl-Tve never seen you on
the stage.
Lyons-Lots of people can't see me
on the stage.
Bridewell Il know my daughter
thinks a whole lot of you. 1 think the
world of my daughter, but I wouldn't
want her to marry an actor
Lyons-I haven't asked for your
daughters hand.
Bridewell-I know, but you might
Lyons-Why do you object to act
ors?
BrideweIl-I don't like them as a
class.
Lyons-Why?
Bridewell-Well. 7 don't know.
Lyons Laughing quietly)=Yes, act
ors are a pretty bad lot Just a lot
Of clowns who have no calling except
TO amuse, make you forget ring hap
piness out into the world promote
charities, and swallow the insults of
the very people for whom they make
life worth living. Yes (sadly) actors
are a pretty bad lot.
Bridewell--I didn't
Lyons - No of couse not I only
wanted to let you know that I'm a
human being, that's all.
sylvia don't know what to say.
Lyons-Good speech makers are sell
dom sincere.
The San Francisco call and post., 1913-12-20
William ]. Hogg aloft.

hundred miles of people for the
two hundred and eighty eight
days"
And they will all make tho
same trip we did?'
Yes-why?"
Nothing-except that I think
you are making the North Pole
just little bit common"
.Admitted--but don't you really
feel that you know more about
Submarines than you did,"
II certainly do have never
been beneath the water so long