davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

ously free the mind is, how unbound IT
is by those elements that fetter the
physical man. Yet all that is needed
to send It sweeping through the years
behind us is a stimulus or suggestion,
often of the slightest.
When Major Pendennis in his old age
passed door after door in London that
no longer opened TO him he remembered
the people who used to live in the houses
in every one of which he was a welcom-
ing visitor. And when he SAW his
nephew. standing by certain pillar in
the old schoolroom of the Charterhouse
receiving a tremendous rebuke from the
doctor. he recalled how he himself once
stood there as a boy and received sim
liar rebuke from another doctor.
Il is so in real life. Il am a part of
all that | have met''--the words are put
into the mouth of Ulysses by Tennyson.
The converse, of course, is true-namely,
that all that we have met is a part OF
us Carlyle suggests that the idea of
the magic carpet that transported it's
owner instantly to any spot on the
earth's surface might be applied to time
as we'll as to space, and that we might
be carried at once back to the very gates
of Eden.
Happy is the man who has an Eden
in his ewn youth that he can OCCASION
ally visit. And there is perhaps no more
satisfactory vehicle in which to make
the journey than the old book which
one studied at school. There is never
any difficulty about the return trip. All
we need to do Is to lay down the old
rbook and pick up a best seller, and the
thing is accomplished.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
Monument to Major screws

The suggestion made by Charles W.
Hare, editor of the Tuskesee News, that
a monument be erected in Montgomery
In memory of Major w w. Screws, VINO
for nearly 80 years was editor OF the
Montgomery Advertiser meets with near
ty Endorsement throughout the state,
said friend of the late distinguished
Journalist.
The Advertiser says that committee
of the friends of Major Screws VIII De
called TO meet in Montgomery IN the near
future. A majority of the committee VIII
be Alabama editors, but several Conieder-
ate veterans will be incuded-aged com
fades who We're with Major Screws on
the battlefield. The Advertiser says that
already a number of voluntary contfi-
buttons have been sent in at the mere
suggestion of the monument
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
Takes Defeat to Heart

The defeat of Vardon and Ray,
esteemed Englands premier golfers,
by a 20-year-old American amateur
in the national open championship
tournament at Brookline was sore
blow to English pride. The American
championship has heretofore been
looked upon by English cracks as a
thing to be had for the asking. 1t
will not be so in the future.
The British public takes the defeat
q good deal to heart. In the light OF
other recent losses sustained by Eng
lish athletes in various sports 1t is
hardly to be wondered that the loss
is deeply felt.
"Are British athletes becoming de-
cadent ?" asks a London daily IN
commenting on Quimet's victory 1t
would seem that they are. Not so very
many, years ago England was SUI
preme in the world of sport. No one
dared to dispute her sovereignty. But
there has arisen in the United States
generation which has put their op-
ponents to flight. Not only has the
United States developed athletes SUI
perior to those of Great Britain but
Germany and France has done so as
we'll
This was the most calling feature
to Englishmen of the last Olympiad.
In no international sport has Eng
land shone of late years. The yatch-
: ing trophy, the tennis title, the polo
cup-all are in the United States.
France and Germany have wrested
additional laurels and nothing is left
the British sporting world but the
memories of glory departed.
In the light of these facts the an
nouncement that sportsmen of the
United Kingdom are urging Great
Britain to withdraw from the Olym-
pic games after 1916 is of peculiar
Significance. Can it be that Britons
fear to face men from other coun-
tries? That is not the explanation as
signed for the contemplated action,
but it is the most obvious one and the
one which will be most generally ac-
cepted. 1t would seem that fearing
further and more ignominious defeat
England would sulk for a space.
1t is to be feared that not only are
British athletes becoming decadent,
but British sportsmen as well, which
will be profoundly regretted by all
admirers. of the sturdy John Bull of
old-never more dangerous than when
fighting against seemingly over
whelming odds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
HERES RICHNESS
From the Boston rranscrint.

From the Boston Transcript.
We have been amused for quite while
by schoolboy "howlers;" now let us look
at few prospective teacher 'hoVlers'
perpetrated during recent examination
in Los Angeles.
Indigenops-That blue state of mind.
MISUNDERSTANDING to architecture
Bellies Lettres-Iove letters Of young
lady.
Notwithstanding to certain kinds
OF asplialtum
ton or movement.
Redoent- Lazy, sorry. indolens, turning
TO usefulness.
Archaic Pertaining to conditions in the
region Of the archipelago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
WHY HAVE A CoLDf

From the New York Telegram.
Every one knows how to poke a fire,
edit a newspaper, write drama, COM
pose an opera. paint a picture or cure
cold. Tell a friend you have a cold ana
he is sure to give you a remedy.
A writer in the Family Doctor states
that the following We're in the course of
six days recommended to friend:
A porous plaster, flannel over chest,
whisky and soda, laudanum, treacle pos
set, vinegar and bran, saffron. sweet nj
tire, electricity, old fashioned molasses
candy, suicide, imported beer, onion
broth, oatmeal ana several patent pana-
ceas.
He was advsedsto get drunk. get On
the water wagon, to eat plenty, ostarve
himself, to keep quiet, to move around
briskly, to lie in bed, to sit up.
And when last heard of he was still liv-
ing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
THE SENATE.

From the Evansville Courier.
The House of Lords of the British Par
lament has become such an obstacle TO
good government that it is seriously pro-
posed to abolish it.
The Senate of the United States, by
its endless debates and delays, has so
outraged the patience of the public that
a constitutional amendment has been
adopted, requiring the election of sena-
tors by the popular ballot.
And yet, despite this strong current OF
affairs, the Senate has been pondering
(and .'pondering' is a good word in this
connection for more than four months
about the tariff bill. which the House,
with it's much larger membership, dis
posed of in half that time. Nor is the
s.perfdy and dishonor" which disgraced
the last democratic tariff bill in the
United States Senate, to be forgotten.
Hence the selection of senator IN
anv state is a matter of national I'M
portance.
Alabama is about to nominate sena-
tor by primary election to succeed the
late Senator Johnston. In Alabama re-
s;des a statesman who has so distln-
euished himself that all over the country
during the last national canvass there
were thoughtful men who believed he
was qualified to hold the highest office
in the nation. And it will not be for
gotten that at Baltimore he refused to
do anything TO prevent democracys final
and perfect choice from receiving the
nomination.
Our readers anticipate, OF course, that
we are thinking of the Hon. Oscar W.
Underwood, the leader Of the House, the
author of the pending tariff bill.
1t is conceded that it is largely due
to Mr.. Underwood's ability, fairness, en-
ergy and firmness that the bill passed
the House in reasonable time. In this.
as in other conspicuous legislative acts,
he has surely exhibited the rare quail
ties of craftsmanship, which have al
WAYS elevated him in fact and in public
repute to the high rank of the few and
great leaders OF the past and present
AS democrats to democrats, as coun-
trymen toscountrymen, may we not sug-
gcst to Alabama to put Underwood in
the Senate? There must be cloture in
the Senate. Indeed it seems to be in need
OF rules. when. according to the vice
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Iron Market Advancing

The price Of Birmingham pig iron Is
now firm at sl15o on a No. basis said
a furnace company official. THE ten
deney is upward and the price will prob
ably reach Sl2 within the next week or
two.
The market is active and large ton
mage will be contracted for between now
and the holidays. | would not be sur
prised TO see the price slS before Christ
mas"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
EX-PRISONERS WRATHY

If the south can obliterate from mind the
hold that we can afford to forget any
wrongs we may have suffered
"At Gettysburg all this was talked
over. The men from the south taught Us
of the north how to be courteous and po-
lite and considerate. Lessons We're.
learned there from the proud southern
gentlemen that should, have prevented
the affront offered to the veterans
Wednesday. They are sensitive even rs
they are proud, but they are a great race
of people. | and my comrades are ready
to take their hands in token of forgetful-
ness so that the last days of the veterans
of both sides may yet see the entire Oh
iteration of Mason and Dixon's line
The following expression was adopted
by the ex-prisoners and after its adoa-
ton there was a rush of men eager q
sign it as individuals. Mr.. Todd said a
thousand names could have been secured
in a few minutes, but that was not The
design OF the action:
1--WE deeply deplore the action en- an
order that had no signature that ex-
parade further. sEad such order borne
an official signature we would have as
readily condemned IT. we also condemn
the exclusion of the ladies' drill corps
from the north. We would have consid-
cred it compliment to have the ladies
parade with as
Another who voiced strong coiidemna-
ton of the so-called order was Capt. John
r. Writ, past commodore of the Naval
Veterans association. Captain, Writ
styles himself an 'old pirate and Is in
deed picturesque character. He wears
his hair long to his shoulders and is cer-
tainly able by his language to prove his
claim to being an ''old salt. . He was
wrathy over the exclusion of Forrest
camp and also for denial of recognition
to the naval survivors of the war. He
said he was SO blanked mad that the
pavement in the street looked crooked
and not to be defeated in having the
naval forces represented in line. he took
his place in the rear of the Indiana dele
cation and walked alone covered with
badges of his organization and insignia
of his rank therein. He is 81 years. Of
age and cam tell any person a whole lot
about the naval history of the United
States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
EDEN or oNE,s YOUTH.

From the indianapolis News.
oN1en do not need to be old in order to
live somewhat in the past. Young men
to take a simple illustration-enjo their
college reunions as much as do the old
men, though possibly in a somewhat
different way. In both cases there is
The effort to recreate the old life and
to make vivid again the days that are
sonea The old home. when it has been
abandoned, continues to draw young and
old alike.
1t is precisely with the old school
and the old books. We are SO hemmed
in by space and cramped by time that
We do not always realize how marvel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

president, it has no rule even to prevent
disorder in its galleries.
Now, who, with his experience, his
sound judgment his popularity and
standing. could better propose or more
certainly pass sound. correct. business.
common sense, cloture rule, than Oscar
Underwood And all the common peo-
pie and so-called classes. except those
who for selfish, predatory interests OPP
pose real effective government. could
sustain and approve; and another one OF
the greatest reforms of the great re-
forming Wilson administration would be
accomplished. Indeed we urge the peo-
pie of Alabama to make Oscar Under-
wood senator of the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
CATCHING THE EYE OF THE CzAR

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An esteemed eastern weekly has printed
an open letter to the czar, which may in
terfere largely with its wide circulation
in Finland, the Caucasus and Russia
proper.
and. is especially intended for everybody
except the man who is supposed to in
cite It,
On the other hand, an effective form Of
address-as effective as any-is TO add be-
low the Cars titles Personal, private
and confidential, st. Petersburg postmas-
ter please forward
And even then after all these precau-
tons are taken, it's a peck of roubles 10
a pinch of snuff that the imperial little
father Will never see the stuff.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

vision of the tariff and reform of the
currency laws.
These two things were demanded
by the country, and the public mind
was pretty well made up as to just
how 1t wanted them accomplished.
1t is different with trust regula-
ton. Almost as many solutions will
be offered as there are persons in
terested, and the perfection of Just
and adequate bill will require the
highest qualities Of craftsmanship.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
Ynnn~ nn.mct,a VICTOR,

Francis Ouimet is another young man
to awake one morn and find himself tam-
ous.'' said a lover of sports. And the
Brookline youngster is deserving well of
his country He has added to it's pres
tige and this is an accomplishment of
true patriotism.
1T seemed that the golf honors of the
year were destined to be a Briton's. Near
ly every American who did not permit
his Yankeedoodlcism to weigh down his
Judgment believed that we had no match
for Vardon and Ray on tho links.
1T was very much to be regretted, of
course, but we could afford to be mag
unanimous. Already during the year the
Meadow Brook polo team had downed
the best cracks Albion could produce,
and Maurice Mclaughlin had borne the
Davis tennis trophy from Wimbledon
to his California home. The golf cham
highly gratifying--but as we didn't have
anybodX to win it, why, then. er-two
out of three championships in one year
do very We'll, especially when England's $
prowess in all lines of sport is taken into
consideration.
But the 2O-year-old Brookline boy had
other IDEAS Just as we'll make 1t a
clean sweep,'\he reasoned. And he did,
defeating Englands veteran golfers with
n steady, smooth, nervy game that was
the wonder of all heholders The United
States must be we'll pleased with the
young MIR. Ouimet,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
A HAsrY TEMPER.

An Illinois woman had her husband ar
rested because he threw one of her bis
cults on the floor. That unhappy individ-
ual-of course we mean her husband
made the mistake of letting his temper
get the better of him at a time when ne
should have curbed it at all costs. What
ever the justification he may have had,
to throw a biscuit on the floor is un-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
1T WAS THERE, THOUGH.
From the New York Globe.

IF yer don't tell me where yer father
keeps his money" growled the tramp,
who had got in from the street, "Fll
knock yer 'ead off yer shoulders and
arfter that I'll eat yer''
"Oh. please don't do that, sir" whim-
pered Georgie. you'll find all the money
We've got in an old vest in the kitchen"
Two minutes later a bruised and bat
tered wreck was heaved through the back
door of little Georges dwelling place and
sat for a while in the gutter and blinked.
George had neglected to say that his
father was wearing that old vest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
Cold Winter Predicted

THE long, hot summer will be fol-
lowed by very cold winter said an
old weather prophet I'm this part of
the country we seldom have severe
winter weather but l think we will
have great deal OF hard freezing in
January and February, and 1 believe,
too, that the winter will start earlier
than usual.
"a cold winter is healthier than an
open winter OF course. very poor peo-
pie suffer but on the whole freezing
temperature is good for us. Coal mer-
chants always complain of dun busi-
ness when we have warm winter.
They win find business brisk enough
during the next few months
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
HE THAI KEEPS HIS LAWN WELL

Eugene Wood IN E.verybody's Magazine.
Show me the man whose lawn is in
good condition year by year and will
show you one whose wife did Wen to get
him.
For let me tell you, friends and fellow
travellers to the tomb, there are more
sticks and bones, clothespins and crooked
wires upon lawn, Horatio, than are
dreamed of in our philosophy. And he
that cheerfully endures the slams upon
the bread basket that the lawn mower
hands him when it's cutters clog. pos
scsses more than Christian fortitude-it
mounts up to fiftytude.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
APOLOGIES UNDERSTOOD.

AfOl4OGl1S UNDERSTOOD.
Mother. may l go out to hy?'
Yes, my daughter, fair
But be sure to stay upon the ground
And don't go near the air. s
New York World
Mother, may l go out to eat?'' s
Yes, if you'll be good.
Order the bill of fare complete,
But don't you touch the feod,'
Chicago Tribune.
Mother, may ] go out to flirt?'
yes, my darling Jen:s
Stay out till enidnight il you like,
But don't gosnear the men,"
-Somervlle Journal.
Mother, may Joe give me a kiss
If he his moustache clips?,
Eyes, my dearest daughter, Bess,
But don't you touch his lips"
-Yonlzers Statesman.
Mother. may / go out to skate
Down at the skating rink?'
"Yes, my dear but don't wear skates
And don't you take a drink"
Houston Post.
Mother, may 7 go out to diner"
Yes, my darling daughter
But don't get gay on sparkling wine
Take tea, or milk or watef."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

seemly. Besides, certain kinds Of floors
hardwood floors. for instance. are expen-
sive and a dint made in them is almost
irreparable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
The state Fair

Everything Will be in readiness for
opening the State Fair on Thursday,
October g. said President e. b. Burton.
I'VE are going to have splendid fair.
There will be many new features and
exhibits in the several departments will
be on much larger scale than ever
before.
Birmingham will be crowded with
visitors and all We need to make the
fair grand financial success is good
weather I am not enough of a prophet
to say just how the weather will be
but am praying that it will be dry
and warm"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
The Auditorium Assured

"The city commission will lose nc
time in ordering the auditorium bond
election said member of the Cham
Der of Commerce. "The overwhelming
majority which the auditorium propor
sition received in the city election on
September 5 will. feel sure, be rati-
fled by good majority. The election
will take place early in November.
after a site has been decided upon
ground should be broken with as lit
tie delay as possible. Every effort
should be made TO have the auditorium
ready for occupancy by next May. IT
may take longer to put on the finish
ing touches but a large convention or
music festival might be held in the
auditorium. though only the roof is
on and the floors laid. We could make
out with temporary seats. But it may
be that the building will be finished
and FURNISHED before next summer"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
FAITH.
BY Robert Browning.

:
It's wiser being good than bad.
It's safer being meek than fierce;
It's filter being sane than mad.
My own hope Is a sun will pierce
The thickest. cloud earth eyer stretched;
That, after Last, returns the First,
Though awide compass round be fetched;
That what began best, can't end worst.
Nor what God blessed once, prove acr
curst.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

So far a plea for change of venue
has not been invoked by the counsel for
Governor Sulzer. et
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

Two islands in the Pacific have disap-
peared as the result of an earthquake
shock, but the chances are that they will
bob up again someWhere.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

According TO astronomers the Big Dip
per Will disappear in 100000 years This
may or may not be in the nature of a
warning to prohihtionists.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

election" Some might consider Huerta s
boost a knock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
A SAD REELECTION.

These frosty morns they put new life
In those of US who're failing,
But when we think of fuel bills,
Our cheer is unayaiing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

A movement to ''clean up" burlesque
shows has been started in Chicago Some
of the chorus girls must have been wear
ing street costumes on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
Every Candidate Must state platform

tSNcfy
Il do not think my candidate for the
Legislature viii be permitted TO go to
that body on any doubtful platform,
whether it he prohibition or woman's
suffrage said man familiar with the
political game.
'Oh, yes, ! know that when the bug
bites the young STRIPPING of the law, and
the time serving political hack, they be-
gin to trim their sails to get there, but
not this go round The people are very
much concerned about the next legisla-
ture; very much more so than who is to
be governor. 1t has become very sore
spot that so many rising young COW law
yers go to the legislature, turn out all
sorts of fool legislation, much of which
is Unconstitutional. or otherwise. / favor
turning matters about. If seven able law
yers. sitting on the supreme court bench.
can alone determine what is constitu-
tional in the Legislative enaotments, could
not an equal number, sitting~as legisla-
tive council, pass upon such matters, saw
ing much veNation and great expense?
There is need of reform along these
lines, particularly here in Alabama I
daresay this state is the sufferer from
more joker legislation than any other in
the United States.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

The Versailles undertakers are watch
ing Aviator Pegoud with professional in
terest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

London's Threatened strike of bus men
will cause no alarm Men know what
will happen to them if they cut up like
militant suffragettes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

Russell sage's esttAe, it now develops.
was worth only something over s64ooo,ooo
Yet he had the reputation of being rich
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

The Albanians are getting ready to swat
the Servians. They will have the best
wishes of Ferdinand of Bulgaria.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

If the United States warships fail TO
leave Mexican waters when the time is
up, what will General Huerta do about it =?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
HIS PHOTOGRAPH.

You say this fellow draws funny pic
tures?e
Z Yes. and occasionally he sits for one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

Five homieides and one arrest. The
negro who cut his wife to death and then
surrendered to the police had more con
sideration than the other slayers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

"coin' Harvey has announced himself
as candidate for Congress from his
Arkansas district. Mr.. Bryan says the
money question was settled at the elec-
tion in 1896
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
5 DIsREGARDED.

esiAN oNN"Sioiioiiy iic sits loi Ollt.
NOTES DISREGARDED.
Don't you think Miss Yowler's voice
has remarkable ranger"
Il do indeed. 1t simply romps all over
that song she is trying to sing"
s COLD WEATHER THOUGHT.
. A man may have
Great depth of soul
And still dislike
To bring in coal.
EVIDENT.
There sits girl with money in her
own right
How do you know?"
II saw it. She has nickel in her right
hand to pay car fare
POPULAR. TOO.
A pleasant man
Was Dan McBee,
Who often said,
Have one on me-"
A SAD REFLECTION.
These frosty morns they put new life
In those of US who're failing,
But when we think of fuel bills,
hr.A II -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

During the last three months 100000
pounds of meat have come into the United
States from Argentina and Australia, bat
it has not had the effect of reducing the
price of beefsteak
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23

Mary Garden refused to sing in Paris
and her substitute made tremendous
hit Mary's mood the next morning eur
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-09-23
ALCOHOLIC FICTION

That's a corxing good story seribhle IS
contributing to Flimmer's magazine
81 should say it's an un-corking good
story. The leading character is dipso"
maniac