The Washington times., 1913-10-21
DOMESTIC
DIALOGUE.
THE ART OF PLEASING.
Scene: The Days fiat after dinner.

| M doilieS)-Another matrimonial
| w dream turned into n nightmare.
Got a letter from Edith today
saying she couldn't stand 1t any longer
and that she and Bob had just about
decided to separate.
DR.. u. Clicking his tongue)-Too badI
And she's locker. too.
Mrs. ID. (hastily)-Oh. we'll, as far as
that goes, I've always contended that
in life contract beauty counts for
| nothing. Men always have a fit if
| other men look at their wives, anyn ay
What's the use?
Mr.. d. maintaining his claimj-Well.
Edith's a mighty nice girl. don't
| know what Bob wants or what he
| thinks he can draw in future.
Mrs. D. (clashing aEms)-Bob is a very
decent fellow. He's considerate and
attentive and everything. I'm sure if
half the married women were treated
as Bob treats Edith they'd think they
were in Arcadia!
Mr.. d. (sniffing)-I don't see that therc
are so many rosetteS on Bob.
Mrs. ID. Chaving worked 1t all OUT
I know what's the matter there. They
haven't got a single taste In common.
Everything he's crazy over she detes;s,
and everything she adores he pooh
poohs. l tell you there's no surer way
to wreck any combination. Bob loved
the outdoors and all sports. Edith al
ways got tired and her feetd begin
to hurt. She loved theaters: and what
he thinks about the profession" isn't
fit to print. She'd weep and sigh over
modern fiction and he'd I'll the house
With: How to Plant a Farm" pam
phlets. l could have foretold how
things We're going to bel
Mr.. D. (perking up)-Oh. you could
have?, Well. then. why didn't you step
in and warn her?
s,sSPnf nPs p daks ia ~ II there's xsrsaS aaS
couples you can do It There are pleas
anter ways of being annihilated. There's
nothing In this role of reconciliation
builder. Oh, well. II you're going to
your friends you bid fair to have a
happy time in this world. I'm duty
thankful that we're happy and let 1t
go at that
Mr.. D; (settling into his smoking
Mrs. D. Gmitatlng the babbling
brook)-For instance. just take this
part Of the day. In my estimation this
part of the day is the most trying for
married people. Usually the man folds
himself up in his paper and when he's
needs some air in his lungs-been shut
in all day, etc.-and that he guesses
he'll go out and take a little walk. That
means billiard parlor or saloon. And
then spends the rest of the evening
thinking whom she can call up and
make miserable. Now with us it's diff
ferent. You Ike music, even though
you don't love it the way / do. We |
both can discuss topics of the day. I'm |
Interested in your business affairs and |
you're interested in my clothes. (Sigh- |
ing profoundly. Oh, yes, were very
fortunate.
Mr.. D. n-vitally)-Yeh.
Mrs. d. (pRttlng his bald spot)-Hus-
band and wife should try to be pleasing |
to each other in the little things of life |
be entertaining and everything.
(Pause) Shall play to you n little
while?
Mr.. D. Cirmly)-No. I don't feel like
tonight. Had hurdy-gurdies
outside the place all day. Sick Of 1t,
Mrs. d. mpetuously)-The idea OF
comparing my playing to hurdy-gurd-
les,
Mrs. d. (emphatically)-Wha That
old ladies' game? Thank goodness crib
bage doesn't constitute my idea OF wild
excitement yet | tell you what-Tll
read you the first story in this maga-
zine My. but lis weird,
Mr. D. 0n disgustO-Tm sick Of weird
things and morbid things and problem
things. I want to laugh Let's go to
the movies. around the corner.
Mrs. Doh! the air is vile in there
II isn't healthful. Tell me what hap
pened downtown today
Mr. y. viciOusly)-Forget II! II was
one of those" days and | want to blot
ii.
Mrs. d. (sighing)-WelI.
"a loug. long pauseJ.
Mr.. u. Crising)-Well. guess | need
COME air in my lungs. Been shut in all
lay. Guess I'll 90 out and take a little
walk (He eXits.)
Mrs. y. (after the door was closeCD-I
guess I'll call up Alice Brown. She's
got "A desk phone. so she won't get tired
standing.