The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1913-07-12
.SOLONS To MEET
In Ball GAME
Contest for Benefit Of the City
Fairgrounds to Be Staged
Today.
"VIC" MURDOCH, UMPIRE
Republicans and Democrats viii
"Cross Bats" at National
Park 1t I P. N.

members OF hte HOUSE OF Representa-
tives will stage. at I o'clock this after.
noon. at American League Baseball Park
a comic tragedy entitled Baseball"
The presentation, which is for the ben.
eft Of children's Fairgrounds in this
city, will, II is said. be sad when viewed
from the eyes of baseball experts.
The claim is made that while Base
balr'-this is the title role, and will De
played by a sort of joint committee OF
eighteen statesmen-will be murdered
during the play, the manner OF her death
will be funny, very funny. Also. 1t will
take nine acts-or as many Of them as
the Representatives can stand wtnou'
having their personal constitutions
amended-to cause her to gasp. draw In
a shaking breath, convulsively drop 70
her deathbed, and. while thousands
many thousands. hope the piaygronnas
officials. for the money is sorely needed
look SADLY at her earthly remains. yell
to Father Charon that there Is cash
customer waiting to be ferried across the
Styx.
The action Of the play Will De ap-
proximately as follows:
Concert by the Marine Band before,
during, and after each act.
The announcer will claim that the po-
sitions of catcher and pitcher will be
filled-"flled," he will say-by those Sc
lected to perform.
Seek Larger Uniforms.
Enter eighteen statesmen clad as base
ball players, with bats. waterboys, and
gloves. Manas, Reilly of Connecticut.
Of the Democrat by the way. the affair
will be conducted by, rather than be-
tween. Democrats and Rpublicans OF the
House Of ACKNOWLEDGEMENT last night
in an exclusive interview with The Her
AIDS baseball expert that his team would
get to the park early. and therefore
would wear the larger Of the sets Of
uniforms Of the Board of Trade and
Chamber Of Commerce. kindly loaned for
the occasion.
Prologue-The statesmen will enter onto
the stage. trying to look as though they
believe their uniforms were not made for
larger or smaller men, as the case may
be. Business OF throwing the baseball
at each other. with poor success.
Act Representative Victor Murdoch.
selected as umpire because he is Bull
Mooser. will assume the attitude made
famous by the once eagle-eyed SILK
O'Loughlin. after brushing OF the home
plate with a whisk broom, furnished be-
cause a well-known Republican. prom
ised in its stead. will fail to show up.
Time will be called. The pitcher for
the side in the field will throw four
balls. The lead-off man for the side at
bat will break into a trot and a heavy
as he makes for first base
The next man will knock a home run.
on which he will make two bases. Sew
eral runs will be scored.
Act Ditto. with variations. Several
runs will be scored.
Act Sin most respects like act . Sew
eral runs will be scored.
VIII Phone "Correction.,
Acts 4. 5. and 6-Probably will he SIM
liar to acts /, 2. and ). (About this time
several reporters will leave hurriedIy to
telephone their Offices that the popular
impression was erroneous, that Repre-
sentative Murdoch. when carried from
the field on a stretcher, was dead)
Acts T. S, and 9-The only departure
from the business of other acts will be
that several statesmen, complaining of
pains in their arms. legs. and Hobbies.
will ask for chairs. Their requests will
not be granted If managers follow out
the system given by Manager Reilly,
who. in his previously mentioned ex-
elusive interview with The Herald's
baseball expert. said also that inside
IA seball would be INDUCED in. CThe play
ers will see the point of this exquisite
bit of humor when they see Mr. Reilly
himself as he sits on the play
ers' bench. in the shade of the grand
stand. and sips from foaming beakers of
ginger pop)
Epilogue-The statesmen will limp from
he field. their right pedal extremities,
which will not be so stiff as the left,
keeping time to the tune OF It's All in
he Name Of Charity. Sweet Charity"
Eighteen Washington doctors will rub
heir hands together and say, "Oh, not
more than two weeks"
UNITED States horns. oboes and xylo-
'hones used exclusively.-Advt)
Manager Patton. of Pennsylvania, of the
Republicans. refused last night in an ex-
'lusive interview with The Heralds base
'all expert to divulge his lineup. saying
hat 1t was against the policy Of Man
lger McGraw. Of the New York Giants
lfter whom he would model his plan of
Iction. to announce such things in ad-
'ance
Manager Reilly. of the Democrats in
his exclusive interview with The Her
lids baseball expert, said that unless
lie changed his mind the following self
admitted defenders of the peoples inter-
,sts would be on hand: Oldfield and
Rouse, catchers; Webb, pitcher; Elder
Ind Murray, shortstops: Rauch and Nc
oermott. first basemen; Kinkead and
Garrett. second baseman: Harrison. third
oaseman; Dolittle and Reed, left fielders:
Seyburn and some one whose name we
nislaid. center fielders, and Scully and
right fielders.