The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-11-02

of j. NJ Barrie, the delightful writings
of Ian MacClaran, the whimsical charac-
ter delineations of ]. J. Bell and the
grand verses Of the immortal Burns have
somewhat familiarized the reading public
with the Scotch dialect "as 1t is written
yet you can take 1T from me it is quite
different proposition to become familiar
with the Scotch dialect "as 1t is spoken
In the Birmingham district there are
many native born Scotchmen and quite
number of those who boast of their
Scotch ancestry.
Among the prominent citizens of Biz
mingham of distinguished Scottish Image
is j. w. MacQueen of the Sloss-Sheffield
Steel and Iron company. His grandfather
was Col. James MacQueen, who emf
grated In 1863 from the Isle of Skye and
settled in North Carolina, where he es-
tablished the town of "Queensdale," and
who was q llneal descendant of Robert
Bruce, King of Scotland, as well anthem
tic records will show.
Mr.. MacQueen is great reader of
Scotch literature, and in his well ap-
pointed library has many works of noted
Scotch authors. He finds much pleasure
in reading the romances and stories of
his native Scotia.
The other day he had just finished read
ing 1.-THE Bonnie Brier Bush and was
fairly permeated with the quaint Scotch
pathos of humor of that most delightful
work.
Just as sometimes q rollicking melody
will ring in our ears for days al time
and we lind ourselves unconscously hum
ming it on all occasions, just SO did MIR.
MaeQueen find himself still lingering in
the land of heather" as he walked to MS
club for lunch. On his way IL occurred
to hm to "try-out' ms knowledge OF
Scotch dialect on the negro waters at the
cub and lncldently have a httie fun at
| tneir expense.
| On his arrival he walked into the dining
| room ana seated himself at his own pai-
| tIcuiar table. In moment the negro VINO
| usually waited on hIm was at hls side.
| He was a large, ebony tinted Ethiopian
| who rejolced IN the appeiation of cato and
| he looked the part. lie was somewhat
! gafralous and in grandiloquent manner
| sad:
"Yassah, Mistah Mac-Queen, how is yo'
| dis Mawnin?"
I'm brawley, muckle obleeged to We
| fer speirin replied Mr.. Mac In his best
"Hle land" accent.
| Cato looked somewhat astonished and
was plainly mystified He was undecided
| whether Mr.. MacQueen was strinslng him
or that his ears had deceived hun, so he
/ tried again.
What you said is 30, sab; what will
yo have fer yo dinnah?"
Pm no feelin' very hungry the moo,
| so I'll tax SOON porritch in a helf mug
wi mielk and suger."
sHt,A1 Ix,a
at Mr.. Mcqueen out of the corner of his
eye and wondered what had happened.
| Still as he had received several libe al
| tips from him he tried again.
"Ah spects we is outen dat-dat-- what
| 20 said yo' wanted; but we has some nice
portah house SIT axis wild stuffed toe-a-toes
an roast veal wild French dressin' an -
"Tae the dell wi your French dressin
an aw that. If Gamma get what l want
I'll gang ava elsewheer."
That settled the nlggers hash. He gave
the grand hailing sign of distress and the
head waiter responded. The head water
saw that something was wrong and. of
COURSE laid the blame on Cato. who re-
tired to the far end of the room thor
oughly crest fallen.
The highland chief had got his goat all
right.
Mistah Johnsing. the head waiter
aforesaid. approached the would be din
err with all the pomp and dignity of his
highly important office, but before me-
could speak Mr.. Nc. muttered some-
thing about the stupidity of walters in
general and Cato in particular. That
gave Johnsing a cue and in his most
conseque ntial manner he said
"yo are right, Mstah MacQuueen,
yo' shore Is. Some niggars," here he
cast most scornful glance at the
abashed Cato. "Some niggers what
mol S fc n. leu
sence dan er-er-wall-eyed alligator.
Nossah.' he fairly snorted in his indig-,
nation, "dey amt waitahs. dey couldn't
wait on street kyar widout gittln'
on the wrong corner. is dar somethin'
special dat 20 would like dis mawnin',
sab? Aim wait on so maself." And
striking an attitude with his head on
one side and his eyes cast up to the
ceiling. he awaited the order.
There's nae doot but what ye'er RIGHT
ABBOTT that nayger Cato. ANYBODY wad
ken he waur a daft looney. I'm no
feelin' brawley the moo. SO I'll haze a
sma' bowl o. kyle an SOON skewere1
dulse and buttered bAnaocks."
The smile on the Xanthic countenance
of Mistah Johnsing changed to one of
anxiety. He was as much surprised
as was Cato. but he came to the scratch
again
I'VE allus likes ter oblige de GEM
men WHEN we KIN. Out an uOeSH rec
mend dem ban--han-nuck 20 see, sab,
we gets our fish on Friday, an"
What the dell are We takkin ABBOTT?
Bannocks Is no flesh, Its bread"
I'm course hit are. Mistah Mac-Queen.
will yo' have em stewed err fried?"
III TAX them plain, We bltherin
dafty. or I'll no talk them at aw"
BY this time the darkey Had lost his
air of confidence and ne was beginning
to feel uncomfortable. He was sweat
ing under the collar. so he took refuge
In silence and awaited further orders.
I'm no over ksywowy particular,
ABBOTT ma veetuals. but want them
cookit just RIGHT. In addiction to my
order I'll talk finnan haddie an Soon
scenes"
"Since Mistah Wallace has been pint
ed we has ter be very pertickler. We
dassent keep game no-how."
who's takkin' ABBOTT game, We yaller
plague. I'm wantn' no game. It's
very eveident tae me that I Gamma get
what want here, SO gang ava Ye'or
wuss than Cato: naither of We hae's
the understoonin' o. caller herrin!
Ye're dour daft whigmigmorum."
With that he left the dining room,
and went upstairs to the buffet, where
he ordered his usual porterhouse and
coffee. The parting shot left the head
waiter speechless for the time being
His pompous manner had given way to
rejected mien. his broad smile to a
look of injured innocence. He felt
Inundated. He who had been "mon-
ark of all he surveyed" so long to ne
called a 'whigmigmorum' and the
worst of 1T was he did not know what
1t meant