The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1913-04-25
AN AESTHETIC
WIDOW
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press. a.

pounds. The Widow Longbody had a
female friend over at Clover Hill, who
had become aesthetic She saw beau.
ty In the despised sunnower. She pal
plated when she saw eatnip growing.
She raised her eyes to heaven over
burdocks and pigweeds. At the FIRST
go of the widow laughed about 1t. but
when seriously informed that 1t was
the thing to do she adopted II.
Deacon Tracy, widower, had been
counting the widow and had almost
decided to pop the question. He had
dropped In and was just clearing his
throat to say something that the world
has forever lost when she stopped him
with:
Deacon. you look like fright with
those whiskers. and l hope you will
have them hoed off before you Gull
again.
Hoe off these ere whiskersw he
exclaimed In amazement. by gum,
but do you know what you're talkin'
about!''
Then for mercy's sake get them
dyed! The color CRATES on mer'
I'D like to see myself feedin' dye to
them whiskers! Anything else on your
mind?'
"You drag your legs when you walk
81 do. eh? remind you of an old
knee sprung horse, do I? WAL, l kin
drag them legs right outer your house
and take my whiskers with 'emr'
Mr.. Johnson, who bought butter and
eggs and shipped them away to the
city. had also an eye on the widow
Longbody. She always entertained him
very pleasantly when he called. and he
had begun to feel the rose of love
blooming in his heart. On what proved
to he his last call the widow queried
OF him:
MIR. Johnson. why don't you wear n
wig?"
IA wigT
Yes. wig. You always sit with
your legs poked out like pair of posts
A man with such shanks as yours ought
to hide 'em!'
81 have been insulted. woman. I'll
ledVe your houses.
And have your eyebrows thinned
Quit" was the widows parting shot
In front of the widow Longbody's
home ran stream they were pleased
to call Plug river A bridge across 1t
had long been needed and talked Of
and the county finally voted it s'~+
Every bridge In the country districts
has always been painted red. II painted
at all. 1t was red for this bridge The
widow was away for three days. and
when she returned the bridge was halt
painted.
stop. stop. 1t cannot be. 1t shall
not bel" cried the aesthetic.
whats the kick:" asked the man
who had the work in charge.
1t screams! II bowls. 1t shrieks!
1t murders harmony and kills the land
scape: ] could not live here day with
that red thing staring me in the face.
Ughw
She was told that she would have to
endure it or move Aesthetcism was
all right when applied to sunfowers
and bull thistles. but when 1t came
down to red bridges that was mat.
ter of business.
"Oh. 1t is. eh!" was answered. "Weh,
there's another thing that is a matter
of business"
Along the western side of the town
the widow owned strip Of land which
had hill on ia hill and spring.
With her free consent the water was
piped down from the spring to supply
many families and used to sprinkle the
streets. When they refused to change
the color of the bridge the water re.
fused to flow downhill. The people
howled, but they were helpless. After
q week IL was agreed that the aesthetic
might name the color. She decided on
pearl gray. After third Of the
bridge had been covered she changed
il to vivid green. Then she wanted
white with green trimmings.
mo more fooling.' was the decision
of the taxpayers when they realized
that the widow Longbody might final
ly demand that the bridge be covered
with gold leaf.
Every WE'LL" replied the woman as
she prepared her second surprise
Her husband had opened street for
his own convenience and had never
decided Il to the town. People had
bought sites and erected houses. They
suddenly found themselves fenced in.
When they went to the lawyers the le-
gal talent hunted the matter up and
replied:
IF you touch the fence she can have
you arrested for trespass"
The town hated to be beaten by
woman and was talking about q big
lawsuit when along came a lightning
rod man. He was Jim dandy Of man.
He was wooer from Wooerville. He
talked and he wooed and he won.
In fortnight he had won the widows
heart and hand. When this fact was
rumored the bridge committee called
on her to ask:
'Well. what about the bridgeT
Paint II any old color you want tor
"And that fence across Kirby streetT'
"Tell 'em to tear 1t DOWN.
"And you-you are no longer aes-
theticr
mot by a darned sight Jim and I