The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1913-07-31
Heroic
reatrnent
By F. TOWNSEND SMITH

My friend Rogers was forty Yeas
old and a bachelor He had no taste
for society, and his life was solitary in
the extreme.
l had been to his room occasionally,
and his landlady knew my name. One
day Rogers had worked himself up to
such condition that she feared he
was going to commit suicide They
hunted my name in the telephone reg
lister and called me up to say that
she wished | would come round and
take charge of him. went to his
room and found him walking the floor
with desperate look in his eye. l
took him out with me for dinner. after
which we went to the theater, and he
spent the night in my rooms. Before
going to bed / said to him:
Rogers, the thing for you to do is to
get married.
"Who would marry me-"
81 know several young women who
would be glad to get you. I'll intro
duce you to the one that think would
be the most likely to suit you if you
like"
Anything to relieve me of myself"
The young person to whom | intro
duced Rogers was twenty years
old. Not having thus far fulfilled the
condition for which she was made a
wife and mother-she was beginning to
get dissatisfied with herself and those
about her. | told her of Rogers case.
and she confessed that it was much
like her own. She, too, said "any-
thing but the life of an old maid" 1t
was understood when | brought them
together that it was for the purpose of
matrimony, and they didn't pretend to
what they did not feel-that they were
in that delilium commonly called love.
They made short work of the prelimi-
naries and, being very much pleased
with each other, became engaged and
were married.
| think their honeymoon was as hap
by as it is with married couples usu-
ally. Both seemed to have taken
laughing gas. There was no attention
too great or too trivial for Rogers to
pay his wife, and she seemed disposed
to suffer any Inconvenience rather than
put him to the slightest discomfort.
| called on them soon after their
Then l did not see them
again for six months. met Rogers
and, grasping him by the hand. said.
How are you, old man? How goes
married life?"
"Oh, married life is well enough,
suppose~
well enough? Why, l thought at
first you considered it delightful"
THAT was in the beginning, when
we hadn't really settled down to the
business Of married life. | find double
harness pretty hard to work in some
times"
Have any con pany?"
"All we want"
"Well I'm CON ing round to see you
pretty soon"
When | called 'aogers had been de-
tanned at business, and | was enter
tanned by his wife. Being an old
friend of mine, | did not hesitate to
ask her how married life suited her.
"Oh, don't suppose" she said, that
Ed is any harder to live with than
most men,
HE isn't somber, is he?"
"Oh, no; he is cheerful enough, but
surprise him every now and then by
not being what he has always sup
posed a woman to be, and If all men
are what he is sometimes they must
be-
While we were talking in came Ed.
He saw by his wife's expression that
she had been pouring her troubles into
my ear, and he didn't like it. He sat
down with very ugly look on his
face.
We'll" he said to me, Il suppose
she's been making me out a pretty
hard nut"
See here" | said ilaring up, 81 did
the best could for you two in bring
ing you together. If you want to quar-
rel | would prefer that you leave me
out"
"Who's drawing you in?" asked the
with a snarl.
Hes drawn himself in" snapped
the wife. He tried to pump you
when he met you the other day, then
came around here to pump me-"
pump you! What interest have |
in whether you get on or don't get on
together? bid you both good even
ing"
| seized my hat and got out of the
house as quickly as | could, followed
by more caustic remarks from both
Of them and making to myself more
remarks still.
"What a fool | was to try to do any
thing with a bachelor and an incipient
old maid! One might as well try to
make crooked tree grow straight.
Catch me trying to help any one that
way again"
When we do n kindness we don't
know whether It, will turn out such or
an injury. | thought ! knew that in
this case had done the latter But
was mistaken. The two needed heroic
measures to bring them together and
heroic measures to get them fused.
After the heyday of wedlock had pass
ed they needed n blowpipe ! was that