South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1913-07-08
STATESMEN REAL
AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLEY.

BY FRED c. KELLEY.
CNote-This is the first Of little
series of articles by Fred c. Kelley
dealing with experiences of prom
inent newspaper men,
WASHINGTON, JULY S.-A news
paper man never knows when or
how or where he is going to stumble
into a news story that will interest,
if not astound, vast multitudes OF
readers.
That is what this present story is
about. a rat-or rats-and few other
things.
A rat ran across the floor in the
little office occupied by Elmer Paine.
Elmer is now one of the important
spokes in the Washington bureau Of
the Associated Press, but al that time
he was Washington correspondent for
an Ohio paper. Anyway, as we were
saying, a rat ran across the office
floor, and disappeared behind the
book case. Elmer Paine was an
noyed. 1t was an exceptionally large
rat, and he felt that his Office was
not the logical place for such things.
He cared little or nothing about rats
10 start with. The more he thought
about il, the more Grass il seemed to
him to be sharing quarters with a
rat For all he knew there more of
them Maybe some morning they
would be in complete control and he
would have TO move his desk out into
the hall. He was in a vicious humor
when he started down the stairway
that noon, and he intended TO say
something rather harsh TO the agent
of the building. So long as he was
paying a good rental for that room
the rats would simply have to make
other arrangements.
When he got down to the street
level. he noted that the office of one
Of the telegraph companies was di-
rectly under his He went in 10 see
if the rats had been there, hoping
to get the manager of the telegraph
company on his side. BY combining
their forces, they might be able to
combat the rats more formidably, and
also talk with greater buster TO the
building agent.
Sure enough, the manager of the
telegraph company was well aware
of the rats having headquarters in
the building.
Yes, indeed" he said; they got so
bad that they began to gnaw up some
Of our telegraph files We couldn't
take a chance on that, and had to
build brick vault. They're still bad.
I've often wondered if they ever get
across the streets into the Treasury
Building yonder."
Elmer went his way. but his inter
est in the rat business had suddenly
grown. The telegraph manager had
unthinkingly dropped a good tap. If.
perchance. the rats should be work
ing in the Treasury Building, it
might be worth looking into.
AS soon as he had finished his
frugal lunch. Elmer sauntered over
into the Treasury Department and en-
gagged one of the assistant secretaries
in conversation.
do you know" remarked Elmer,
wondered If there isn't danger of
rats getting down into the Treasury
vaults?"
Danger" repeated. the man.
SHOULD say there was danger Fact
is, the rats have been a serious prob
lem down there for while. We had
TO build some extra vaults. and the
rats even gnawed through the brick.
The steel in the vaults was all that
kept them out. I guess the watch
men have their troubles there even
yet"
The story was getting better every
minute. Think OF a flock Of rates de-
liberately preparing TO eat up ma
tons money and the public not
knowing anytnlnK ABOUT IL.
Elmer FASTENED down to interview
the chief nightwatchman. But he
didn't let the nightwatchman know
he came for any particular purpose.
He simply dropped in at the mans
office, and gradually steered the con-
versation around 10 rats.
I'VE have a good many of EN-
here" remarked the nightwatchman,
talking freely, inasmuch as he didn't
know he was speaking for publication.
The vaults keep the blamed things
out Of the paper money all right. but
they got so thick there for a while
they were. So we bought a lot or
cats. Had TO get 'em kind OF quietly
too, because the men upstairs thought
IL would make needless amount Of
talk IL people knew all Of the
trouble we were having"
Il suppose the cats made short
work of the rats?" suggested Elmer.
We'll, they chased away most OF
'em. / guess; but the Internal cats
sort OF got wild down there in that
dark basement I'd rather have a
rat around any day than a crazy.
fool cat. with its eyes shining in the
darkness. Makes me shiver now
when 1 think OF them. You may
think / am foolish. but you ought TO
We seen 'em. I'd be walking along,
and whisk, out would dart a cat
with long claws and big green eyes.
and it would hiss at me. Ugh"