New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-09-13
AS | WAS SAYING


ve ouoted In our last always remember to inclose
the humor It really doesn't make the letter any
heavier"
oh, doesn't it. though? Perhaps not to the post
man vet more than likely to the editor-and, darn
il, 10 the reader. For what Is one mans humor Is
another mans hearbreak. Take, for instance TINS
joke from Punch"
Looking into statoners window In Great New
mort street one evening last week, Mr. Andrew Pat
erson a visitor from Montreal, was hurled through
the window bv a motor which had mounted the
pavement It IS not known what Mr.. Paterson had
done to annoy the car"
What saw brethren? Funny? If yes. call a taxi
and make the rounds with that joke, trying IL on
the populace. Nine chances In eight you VIII ne
received like me frind, Gneral Miles, whn he
dhropped in on Tiddy Rosenfeldt an whit out IN
transom pursooed be tn chandelier.
Whereas personally we consider "Punchs' JOKE
great delicacy How creamy the flavor! no"
smooth. Besides II involves Canadian Ihat' III
itself is enough When the POSTMASTER pronounce'
those awful words OF his, and you arise TO sparkle
do not preface your wtticisms with the usual AS
Mark Twain said" Make sure thing OF II! set
the boys In a roar by beginning with There was
once Canadian.
And il "Punch's' waggery needs further vndca-
tion hermit us TO point out the glory Mr.. Patersons
fate reflects upon automobiles. Aren't they gaining
In intelligence?
Flushed with success. Mr.. Jerome has become a
dangerous man. and quite appreciate MT Bryan
uneasiness For these are times for Secretary
Of State 10 take risks. and that telegram 10 Inc
Paris Excelsior" was desperate business.
Not that we mind Mr. Bryans calling II nice ana
proper for statesman to go htng about the coun-
try with clowns and clog dancers Maybe II is har-
monious after ALL just he insists. And not that
we object his saying his tour is mot Tor iucra-
tive end" We had feared IL was. and thought we
had his word for IT. Such relief to find ourseit
mistaken, But when he tells Excelsior his iect-
ures are educational" trust tina, Mr. Jerome viii
avenge the nation.
Brethren, this is actionable
So they are pruning" the wicked plays. AwfulIy
nice Of course but is II business? We recall now
they pruned THE Turtle when IT tired of Broadway
and started on travels. Somewhere In our archives
we could fish you up heart throb by the prince
Of paragraphers-to wit: Last night our city was
treated to Mock Turtle" oh, bitter
The returns from Maine become only the more ter
rifying the longer we consider them. jolly run In
the open was enjoyed by the Tafticides. the Teddy
olators and the other Progressves. and we cannot
understand why the elephant is rumpeting so
hilarously over his triumph in recapuring them In
more sense than one. he has got 'em again
Good Sir Oliver Lodge has presented his arguments
for the immortality Of the soul but we believe IN IT,
nevertheless.
There is a new use for feet. BY placing them in |
3, pair Of boats Cycs dear printer we mean boats.
not "bootso you can have more Pun than sno"shoe-
ing or skiing Mr. J. A. Truesdale of Lynn Mass
who invented boats for feet has been trying them
on the Charles River, and finds the walking excel
lent We trust beloved competitors VIII go In
for the new sport which. so Mr.. Truesdae assures
us beats all the others lit has the added fascina-
uon Of being considerably more hazardous to tho
beginner"
Re cautions brethren! Remember Longshoreman
Rnrs advice to Webfoot joe skipper Of the Jumping
Jimminy:
Alloy, Webfoot!"
AYE. aye, Bill"
Come ashore in the dory.
AYE, aye"
An bring the dory with you!
The odorless onion achieved by ohio expert
menter may be a dear good onion and "a triumph OF
horticultural hybridizing" but what blow to that
grand old patriotic epigram. THE onion forever"
Seeing an ancient Joke revived, we are reminded
that we have been far too reluctant to finger the
chestnuts Growing holder, though. To prove II, We
divuge a Harry incident that has hitherto remained
unwritten
on his expulsion from Canada, Harry found him !
self without money. But he is clever always, and
bethought himself OF his former occupation. De-
manding writing materials, he quickly obtained the
necessary funds by naming sleeping cars.
1t is lucrative profession; but. personally. We are
much too good at It. At the very outset We used
ND the only name that suits. and christened our
sleeping car the "--!!!!' r. L. H.