davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Leave 1t Off? We're Thinking Of Hav
ing It ENLARGED.

Sir: 1 note that your columnal head
can be moved on occasion, so have a
suggestion to make. Inasmuch as every
body is familiar with the heading by
this time, why not leave it off entirely ?
You could then give US nearly an inch
more column a day. which would be
equivalent to an additional column
about every four weeks. This sugges-
ton is free.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Good Stories
Proper Reputation

n ERs SMITH tto chelnist)--I
M wish to buy . thermometer to
"1 regulate the best of the room.
Chemist-What kind viii
you have. madam?
Mrs Son; it does not matter. SO
you set II at sixty five, as the doct0r
said that would be the proper heat-
National Monthly.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Amusements.

National-"The Ghost Breaker" sis
u. m.
Belssco-Primrose and Dockstsder Min.
strels. Sis D. m
Columbia-.The Master Mind" Sis D. m,
Polis-'The Travelling Salesman" 2:1j
and Sis p. m.
Kelth's-vaudeyiIle s:l0 and 3:15 p. m
Cosmos-vaudeville. contint Gus.
Casino-vaudeville, coneinuoun.
Academy-"Officer eeS" SIS p m
Gaysty-BurlssQue 3:1S and :IS .. Nd
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Old. Frank Morse. If a. thousand
haven't beaten US to IT, won't know
until he reads this paragraph that the
head OF the War Department is Lindley
M. Garrison-not, as he dramaticsects it.
Mr. Burleson. He may not even be
aware that bromide" is the person,
not the phrase. and that author Cobb's
front name isn't irving, but Irwin.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

sTfls co.'s forthcoming table OF Do
nestle Statistics. row in preparation,
will show the number of dining room
to-kitchen electric buzzers in this cour:-
try to be 7,3s4,2s3, ss42 per cent of
which are out Of order An average Of
35l days year.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

After John Barleycorn has Knocked
US Out there's Little Use in Whimpering
that he Had Horseshoe in his Glove!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

"Fingy'' Conners once said to us: "A
Hundred Dollars amt a Hull Lot OF
Money. Is It? But just you Go Try and
Git It!' "
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

In discussion Of the world and
environs' tother evening, , question
arose. what" someone asked, .:is the
longest five minutes you ever have
spent? The lengthiest hour-twtBftb
lived by the designer Of this derelict
dagger was spent in an office where We
held down, In a manner Of speaking, a
ooo' and where. knowing that the news
Of an inexeusable trespassion had lust
been carried to the boss, We. waited for
said boss to come out and fire :, us.
What was the slowest nve minutes of
YOUR life?
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

- There's always Bramble Patch at
the End Of the Line Of Least Resist
ance!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

It's only when we Come to Forty
that we Know how Many Hurdles there
are on the so-termed Path of Dal-
liance!'
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

= Another, Simple Recipe is Eradicatins
the Conditions that we CAN Change and
Accepting those that we CAN'T,
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Perhaps you shave Observed how
Promptly the World Aequiesces with
the Verdict OF the Man Who Pro-
nounces himself Down and Out.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

We caress our Habits as il they were
Kittens-until We Discover that they're
Porcupines!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Tho whats, the Dif?' Individual
never Fails to Find Out!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

We were Told the Other Day that
Thomas A. Edison never used the Word
Perhaps" In his Life and that Prob
ably He Doesn't Know the Meaning
Of il:
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

OUTLYING a Bad Reputation generally
is a Life Job-but so is Living Up to a
Good Onei
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

After you've Espied the Silver Lining
It's Easy to Make Out the Golden Hem
stitch!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Feel ABUSED" If you Must-but Never
Look It! =:
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

When we Discern that we Never wer,
Intended to Lead a Makeshift Life
we've Begun!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Hints From Sharp Wits.

The elimination Of the complimentary
salutation Dear Sir" and the polite
conclusion Yours very truly will not
make much headway in letters written
hv a debtor to a creditor asking for An
extension of time.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
TOiA RARBER

1hou1h your stceetly liquid .oayyH
Drive me out my solid pate,
though your perfume and scisch ho-el
cont help obonst,sote-
FH Try ev'ry brand aud Jrovor
That yo1 hare aroSmd the place,
II yotfH grant one little tauor:
LET ME DRY MY OWN, OWN
FACE.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Even il the hump cut is illegal. there
is consolation in knowing that it can
not be put back.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

The number Of patents applied for
during the late .lamented fiscal year
was S7,9s6. which is inclusive Of the
"a devices for spring faucets annually
submitted by the. Pullman Company.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
FAMILIAR PHRASES.
XXI.
Feathered Dcnizens.

II you chance to care for puzzles
there is the info in the Post that
rain prevented the last game Of the
season in Boston. The next to the
last, We assume, was run off ac-
cording to schedule.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

The voter who is qualified will put OH
,h. finishing touch tomorrow.-Pitts-
burgh Post.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Some Of US Pass and Repass the
Threshold OF Happiness a Thousand
Times without ever Seeing it-and then,
In = Good Hour, We Remove our
Blinkers!
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

"Wizard" Edison got sick because he
took a vacation. No more of 1t for him
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

You read Ban Jofnson's story. %
the series, of course?
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

when / predict a victory for the Pail
a delphia team ! do not do so because
am president Of the American
League ..--...- ..-... p. ...-.. =. So
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

2 T is not the Some Day Man who
Outguesses the Pitcher,
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
BERKSHIRE.

Why. we make query, should we fret
and be worried over a suitable last
paragraph when We can dive into the
paper and get one humorouser than
anything We can write?
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Our Candid Contributors.

G. s. E.: Cliff T. Myndott says some
thing about "inditing" a rhyme. but he
has made mistake. His stuff should
be indicted.
RERKSIIIRE
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

There IL a Wide Chasm between
Goody Goodness and Just Plain Square.
ness.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

We Think Too Much of the Comp
Room.
G"s. n. II you really want to solve
the last paragraph problem why don't
you try printing the column in a circle?
~ -. ANNA NYMoUs.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

Uomen have been seeking 10 have car
- lowered and when the hoop skirts
Come back they'll want wider auto
matic doors.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

In pursuance Of our weIl-known
policy OF supplying our readers with
The news Of the second. We announce
that "all is IN readiness" for "the blue
ribbon event Of baseball and that
the players are on edge" for the
sruehhs competition" Monster
crowds expect to witness the hard
fought" games. whici, viii be. covered
by the papers from every angle" Need
We add that we refer TO 1.-The baseball
classic?''
The Washington times., 1913-10-06

How about giving Huerta ct al. some
.ssss on the New Haven road and ther
-. the ''banjoI' a-thrumPinE. Mi.
VookSo 0Anehsl.
The Washington times., 1913-10-06
Optimettes
Whatever the Clouds Nay Say.
BY CLARENCE L. CULLEN.

TT is not the Some Day Man who
Outguesses the Pitcher.
There il a Wide Chasm between
Goody Goodness and Just Plain Square
ness.
When we Discern that we Never were
Intended to Lead q Makeshift Life,
i we've Begun!
We caress our Habits as il they were
Kittens-until we Discover that they're
Porcupines!
After John Barleycorn has knocked
US Out there's Little Use In whimpering
that he Had q Horseshoe in his Glove!
It's only when we Come to Forty.
that we Know how Many Hurdles there
are on the so-termed Path Of Dali
liance!'
/" There's always Bramble Patch at
the End Of the Line Of Least Resist
ance!
OUTLYING a Bad Reputation generally
Is Life Job-but so is Living Up to a
Good Onei
Perhaps you .have Observed how
Promptly the World Aequiesces with
the Verdict OF the Man Who Pro-
nounces himself Down and Out.
Tho whats, the Diff" Individual
never Fails to Find Out!
= Another, Simple Recipe is Eradicating
the Conditions that we CAN Change and
Accepting those that we CAN'T,
"Fingy" Conners once said to us: "A
Hundred Dollars amt Hull Lot of
Money, is It? But just you Go Try and
Git It!'
Feel Abused if you Must-but Never
Look It! =
After you've Espied the Silver Lining
It's Easy to Make Out the Golden Hem
stitch!
We were Told the Other Day that
Thomas A. Edison never used the Word
perhaps" in his Life and that Prob
ably He Doesn't Know the Meaning
Of Il:
Some of US Pass and Repass the
Threshold OF Happiness a Thousand
Times without ever Seeing it-and then
in q Good Hour. We Remove our
Blinkers!
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-20
Which Is Truly Scientific.

q thought you said Tompkins vas
an orniverous reader?
80 | did
"Pshaw! Why, he hasn't even read
David Copper:eid.
~ foreo to tell "ou that he con-
inee his raadlrg - a single sahiect- y"
"Somc brar.h CT sciences?
"Yes. baseball"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-20

portant the issue
OF our present oc-
cupation, t h ere
are possibilities
which may light
upon US and en-
gross US until they
take wings and fly
away.
Mr.. N. A. FURRY
has never been
still long enough
ioi any posSipilf
oes 10 l.Ea' Oh
III p o''' "
those distrrs 4ing-
90 :
= -
'''''i'. "
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1913-10-20
Inn. FURRY IN A HURRY,
BY EMILY r. SMITH.

In this life there is always some.
thing We have time for. However i'm
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
PASSING YEARS
Bismarck Testimony Remains Un.
shaken,

Bismarck Testimony Remains IN.
shaken.
Time is the best test Of truth.
Here is a Bismarck story that has
stood the test of time. It is a story
with a point which will come straight
home to many Of us.
Mrs. II. Steinmetz, III Second St.,
Bismarck, N. D., says: Three years
ago l had a severe paine in the, small
Of my back and lameness and sore
ness across my kidneys. There was a
tired languid feeling that caused me
annoyance. ] tried everything ! knew
about but did not, get relief until be-
gan taking Doan's Kidney Pills.
They rid me of the trouble and have
since been free from backache. My
kidneys are now normal"
NO TROUBLE SINCE.
When AIRS. Steinmetz was inter-
viewed on February 70, 1915. she
said Il. never had t.dnev trouble
since poan's Kidney Pills cured me 1
few years ago. This remedy helped
MI. III every way"
For sale by All dealers. Price 81
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N
Y, sole agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.-Adv,
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

You Will be mighty glad that you
came here to see this superb suit and overcoat display
by far the most extensive showing and most tempt
inc values shown anywhere.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
PRINCE 1REATID
LINE ANY OTHER
E1UN SCHOLAR

London, Oct. 21-Prince Henry,
King Georges third son, is now a
student at Eton, and it is said that
he will be treated like any other boy,
except for Tagging. Prince Arthur OF
Connaught, it will be remembered,
was flag" to one Of the Astors and
from this it is assumed by some that
Prince Henry will have to adhere to
custom and run messages and do 9th.
er mental tasks for some lucky boy
who has served his term at the same
thing. Elton, OF course, is democratic
and a nickname will certainly be
found for Prince Henry. as there was
for Prince Albert when he entered the
naval academy at Osborne. The lat
ter was known as "the lobster" al.
though not with the same meaning as
that term is used in America.
The style of clothing that Elton de-
mands of her scholars has already
been adopted by the prince. His first
day was occupied in buying his first
silk hat, or topper" as the Etonians
term 1t, and he duly appeared in the
ailless Elton jacket, broad collar ana
trousers turned up at the bottom.
The last button Of his waistcoat was
Of course unbottoned, as no Etonian.
much less a new bov, would dare ap.
pear with the lower button buttoned.
There are many other things be.
SIDES his lessons that Prince Henry
will have to learn before he becomes
an ACCOMPLISHED boy at Eton. On no
account must he. until he has served
his apprenticeship, indulge in the fri.
volitv of a fancy w%aistcoat or rolled
no umbrella, wear brown shoes or
walk-arm-in-aru' with a fellow voya-
ger along the "High."
Almost indefinite are the rules Of
Elton etiquette, where or when a rel.
low NAV smoke Or drink "sWiDes'
(ale), under what circumstances he
NAV call a SPADE an agricultural i'm
plement, on which side of the pave
ment he may walk going to Windsor
ct is always the ripht-hand side).
and the exact SET of his topper" on
holidays and hioh DAYS.
When he is homesi"k he will learn
that there is but u place where tears
NAV be shed. "The Waters Of BABY
lon," and as to slang, he has a die
tionary full of it TO nick ND. Prince
Henry is to he a "drv-boh." that is. he
will play cricket, and MOI be a "wet-
hob" or rover. Generally the rower
is considered to be more Of a
"blOod."
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
ENGLAND OBSERVES TRAFALGAR
nav

London, Oct. 21-The 10Sth ann,
versary Of the battle OF Trafalgar
and the death of Lord Nelson was Oh.
served today on a scale larger and
more impressive than on IN Occa-
c'cn since the Navv League first uD.
dertcok to make the anniversary a
day of special Significance. The Mel
son column in Trafalgar snuare was
covered with floral tributes from. ev.
cry part of tire empire. Wreaths
were also placed on the Nelson monu-
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
par.DlS 10 Mad Race
MontiuueG from Page One.)

reasons given by the girl Tor he'
speedy fiyht from home.
She was taken from the train Mon
day night by Captain Downing at the
request Of the emcdji police. Early
yesterday her father called on the
long distance phone, telling the Biz
marck police that he was leaving Fair
view, Mont, in an automobile for
Glendive where he would get aboard
the first train and for them to hold
the girl until his arrival. Mrs. Smiley.
arrived about midnight on train No. !
and Mr.. Smiley on train No. s. a little
after three o'clock this morning
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
Near DEATH BY
A%sPHYX|A7IOh

Anles, Iowa, oct. Civ. RI. Rosel-
Grams, ditching contractor, anu Daniel
Louden and II. c. Ncible. employees,
were near death by usphyxiation yes
terday afternoon when a ditching machine
broke a gas main. Two of them were un-
! conscious in the trench and a third fell
senseless as II edraggcd the others from
the ditch. Pulmotors were applied and
it is believed all will recover. b
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
PROMINENT MASON
AND EDITOR dead

Pipestone, Mimi, Oct. 20~.-Isaac l..
Hart. VINO has published the Pipestone
County Star tor the past thirty-1lve years
died here today. I'll cwas a past grand
nlgp priest Of the Scottish Rite Masons.
grand lodge OF Minnesota, and had at
tended every meeting Of the lodg for
twentyeIght years. His last illness kept
him from the meeting held in the past
week.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

cattle range to the present great ag-
ricultural country that it is. Both
gentlemen ore of extensive Interests
and have business quite frequently at
the Capital City. They called OH sew
cral state officials at the capitol while
here.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

Neither will see the girl until this
morning as she was taken to Ila
home of Chier Fortune. where she re-
manned over night.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
!: :. :. : :. s: {: :. :. :. :. :. :. !: ::
!: "FAINTiNG BERTHA" TO BE
? RELEASED.

y .#I.. FE.-r.' a#. |.Ns
:: Hastings, Neb., Oct. IT,
:: Painting Bertha" Liebbke, for
:: a number Of years a familiar
:: figure in the criminal records
: of the middle ewst, will be re-
{: leased from the state insane
: asylum, tomorrow, when her
: sentence for robbery will have
:: expired. The woman was con.
: fined for a time in the state
:: p~enitentiary at Lincoln, but
:: she gave the officials there SO
= much trouble that doubts were
:: raised as TO her sanity and
:: she was transferred to the
:: asylum here. Her scbriquet
:: Of "%Fainting Bertha was Civ.
= en- her by the police many
:: years ago because Of her abii-
:: ity to fall into a genuine
= swoon wheneve: she feared ar
:: rest or other trouble. She new
:: declares she has picked her
s: last pocket and sincerely in
:: tends to follow the straight
: and narrow path after her re-
I: lease.
o. q. o. o. o. o o. o. .. .
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
TWO RANCHERS.

Bismarck was visited by two prom
inent ranchmen yesterday. They
were, Chas. Gunkel Of Belfield, and
Schuyler Lebo Of Medora. These two
gentlemen are among the early set
tiers Of western Dakota and have
seen the country develop from the
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

Members of the Northwestern
Cooks association will be able here
after to obtain cooking utensils at
headquarters.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

ment in st. Paul's cathedral. A pup
lie demonstration wa held in Tra1al-
gar square this afternoon and later
the celebration of the day was con.
cluded with a banquet.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22
FRIlkbS,. ACCOMPANY
FISHER ON HIS trip

Sam Gallagher, /. w. Capper, OF
Baldwin and Hal Simmons of Wash
burn will accompany DIR. "A. NJ. Fisher
on his mountain hunting expedition.
The party will leave this morning for
mountains Of Northern Montana, over
the 500 line.
Cabbage for sale. Wits Seed
Store.-(Adv)
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1913-10-22

CARRIER

Washington, Oct. 21.--Reuben j
Gard has been appointed rural car
rier on Route 2, Upham, vice Frank
Pruitt.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-04-14
Life Managers to Organize.

For some time past movement has
beeu on foot among the III" insurance
men Of the state looking TO the organiza =
ion OF an association OF He insurance
oiflcigis the membership TO consist OF
managers. general agents and agency sii-
pervsovs. Tho movement ii Is learned,
has been indorScd by practically every
one of the officials Of lie Insurance COM
psnics operating out Of Salt Lake City.
and The formation of the association Will
be Effected In the very near iuture, The
o5er,s or the association. Is set forth In
a preliminary declaration o! principles
are as follows:
sTo cooperate along broad general
pnes for tho benefit and uplift of our
professlon.
"strivnc 10 eliminate all vicious prac-
Ices through cduCa tion.
"Adiust grievances between agents, as
far as practicable, without disturbing
their harvesting capacity, and without
pgblicity.
TO promote harmony through social
,ntercourse among heads OF various agen-
ccs in the intermoUntain country.
ITO cooperate with all ORGANIZATIONS
Of iiic underwriters aud insurance COM
missoneUs for the elevation of our pro-
lrsSUn.
TO exchange ideas regarding different
methods Of agency uTcaniza ton.
ITO work In harmony with any pub
liz body for the education Of the public
upon the broad principles of life insur-
sncc
As before stated the membership of the
association win be composed Of only cx-
executives OF various life insurance com
panics Speaking Of the plan on Satur-
0ay one OF the promoters said we want
10 make This association a clearing house.
n YOU please, oi all things pertaining TO
opr business as managers. If differences
a6se between competing agents, as they
frenuenlly do why we want To adjust
ihcm as lur as possible by amlcablc means
and thereby relieve some Of the fric-
lion liai has heretofore existed between
managers / believe there Is plenty OF
nom for all OF rs and good work 10
be accomplished br escn, and under q
co-operulive head can get better results
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-04-14
Done REPLIES to Golfers

a recent editorial In Golfers says tha
It's series of articles on "The Business c
Arson" mas so stirred the people of Uta
that thcy have asked for q state fir
marshal Commissioner Done has writ
ten the editor saying;
Ny attention mas just been direct
cd 10 an editorial OF your Issue OF
March 90 with reference 10 your Sc
ries OF articles on Arson" You evil
IDENTIFY attempt TO show a. connection
between this series OF articles and the
attempt recently made to secure the
enactment OF a staE fire marshal law
in Utah. To show that there is no
connection whatever between the two
circumstances. | need only say that
FOR several years the enactment OF
such law has been proposed In this
statc, as shown by public documents
vocatcd In an address delivered In
August, 1912, before the Transmits
sissippi Commercial congress, parts
OF which were reproduced In STINT
lar address delivered al Mnnea polls
on November 20. 1912 (See page 10
inclosed pamphletD
In the second biennial report OF this
department written in December, 1912.
strong recommendation FOR such a
law was made to the governor; as
shown OH page OF this report in
closed herewith 4 bill providlng for
f1Ta marshal department was pro-
posed and introduced in the Utah
legislature. but on account OF Vdri-
nuS circumstances il did not become A
law. ! know that your series Of ar
ment either favorsbly or unlavoC-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-04-14
ASSESSMENT NO. o.

n.o K Silver Mining Milling com
EExs; principal place OF business, Salt
eIsne City. Utah: location Of mines. In
NJ NJ. springs, Tooele county. Utah.
.bS bs9uee s Is hereby given that at a meet
Siv.oo' o' the board of directors OF O. Is.
On Mining & Milling company, held
msns us 1th day Of March. 1913. assess
uhars NO. B OF one-half Cd cent per
81 ts was levied upon tho capital stock
isr me corporation, issued and outstand-
tSss,v payable Immediately to tho secre-
Lk. ~ his office. 1895 Beck street. Salt
ne City, Utah.
ma stock upon which this assessment
y5fR Asema!n unpaid on Tuesday, the
ana uey OF April. 1913. Will be delinquent
rS snS adyertised for sale at public auction,
81 .oiIesa einesa payment 10 made before. Will
Nav 'n 70, on Saturday, tho 10th day oi
eseyss. a9l3s at 10 o'clock a, m, at the
asssssys Office. TO pay tho delinquent
custs smsnt thereon. together with Inc
ssis of Advertising and expense OF
Il. n. HOLT.
Secretary.
s''s publication, March u. isla-