davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
THOUGHT IT WAS IMITATION
Barney Weller Was Fond OF Jokes,
But Rocsser Under Ills Bed
Was Too Much.

Barney Weller was about the fun
nfsst fellow you ever saw. He was
always making people laugh by play.
Ing jokes ON somebody, and he put up
q game on victim every day In the
week. He was In Chicago at 8 big
hotel on one occasion when the butt
OF one OF his jokes sought revenge
BY securing live rooster and tying
IL under Barnay's bed at night.
AT three o'clock In the morning the
rooster turned up for his first vocal
selection and let out a long, shrill
crow. The second performance Of
shia kind was too much for the humor-
sst He dressed himself hastily and
rushed down to the night clerk.
4Givs me my bill!" he said fierce
". @I'm going TO get out OF this
placei''
i +But please tell me what the
trouble is," suggested the night
CLERK.
.tThas don't matter" said Weller
angrily. s'I'm going to get cut OF
here and get out uuick!s
At least" begged the clerk, s9ee
~ know what is the matter with the
hotel before you CO.
Well exploded Weller. there's
crazy fool next door to me who thinks
this place 10 q henhouse. He's spent
Ehe last two hours trying to initiate .
Eocgtsgg. Popular Magaslne,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Great Artist Poorly pas,s

The report from New York of the
sale Of the two famous portraits by
Velasquez, the one OF Philip w. and
the other of his minister, the Grand
Duke Oliyarez, brings to light the in
teresting fact that he received ION ac-
count" the sum OF eight hundred reals
{ 98) for these and one OF Senior
Garciperes. At very much the same
time Van Dyck, despite highly sue
.eessfui time in northern Italy. was
finding to his cost that Antwerp, his
birthplace, had little liking for his
genius In fact. we find him stating
that at one time he had a certain
fas brewer as his only patron And
even that patron failed him, because
when It came to matter OF remuner-
alton the brewers greed sfrank from
an axIortionate payment OF two PTS
toles for the painting OF one portrait.
sg. P.'g Weekly.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Didn't Get the Presenf.

When g three-year-old girl who
lives In Twenty-fourth street was adj
vised by her mother that the next day
was the day to go to Sunday school.
she opened her large, blue eyes wide
and rather forlornly remarked, every
Sunday when they call my name / say
Present but they haven't given 1t to
me yet"
In the same Sunday school, not long
ago, Mrs. Thomas R. Marshall was
teaching the Sunbeam class a lesson
on King David. and, endeavoring to
see how much of her instruction OF
the previous Sunday had not been lost.
asked: who was our lesson about
last Sunday" No answer. Don't
you remember the handsome young
man we talked about?" After a few
moments one little hand went up.
Well, Mary?" asked Mrs. Marshall.
I don't remember his name" said
Mary, but he was the boy that killed
the janitor. indianapolis News.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
BUNNY BEAT THE MOTOR CAR
Rabbit Ran So Fast the Chauffeur
Had 90 Speed TO Keep Him
In Sight.

The scene was on the road to Point
Place. Illuminations were furnished
by the moon and stars Besides the
rabbit and the auto there were one
man and two girls, also a chauffeur.
The big automobile was speeding
along the highway, sending its white
light ahead, when suddenly right
across the path Of the rays from the
head lamps shot q young rabbit. The
chauffeur slackened speed, hating to
hurt the little creature, and then the
rabbit hoped back into the center of
the road again, gave one look into the
binding glare d the lamps and start
ed the race.
Straight down the center OF the
smooth, white highway he shot on
ahead OF the car, and the chauffeur
speeded up q bit just to see how fast
the race was going to be, but he could
not catch tbs rabbit not BY ten feet.
That little crlIteFs feet went so fast
there did not seem to be any there,
and just speek where the long ears
bobbed with the motion OF his little
body and brown blur of hair.
And still he ran. On and on. keeping
his distance ahead OF the big machine
as II the light had hypnotized him and
he could not step. while behind In the
car big. lazy piarsuers laughed and
watched and begged the chauffeur not
TO run him down There was no such
chance.
The rabbit was too quick. When he
was tired OF the sport he hoped to
one side OF the road as the car went
by, tipped up his tiny head and
winked cut OF one pink eye as he
looked at the speeder and its occu-
pants with quizzical curve Of his lit
tie mouth Toledo Blade.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
FASTING WINE FOR LIVING
Strange Calling Followed by Women
Born With Delicate Palates Is
Very Lucrative.

| OF the list of strange callings fol-
| lowed by women that Of wine tasting
is one Of the most curious and lucra-
tive. AS a matter of fact. Mile. Col
| Iinere, whose services are In great de-
mand In France, Germany and Italy
as a wine faster, is said to make an
income of about $4,000 year, many
firms employing her for regular work
and frequently for special duty.
Only half dozen wine tasters have
been known to history, the most re-
nowned of these being the wife or a
famous London wine merchant. Nine.
Pommery, who died in Paris twelve
years ago, and Signora Sousa. who has
s great reputation In Spain on ac-
count Of her Judgment and knowledge
Of wine.
Wine tasters, 1t appears, are born,
not made, and must poss. So the gift
of rare and delicate palate. 10
this, of course, must be added a knoWi-
edge of wines. Mile. Collinere's taste
is so fine and her knowledge OF wines
such that she can discern from the
first taste OF wine just where the
grapes grew from which 1t was made.
whether they were raised In Califor-
MIA or In the vineyards Of France, Ger
many, or elsewhere. She can easily
detect adulteration Of any sort. or II
there Is a blend and OF which wines.
and can tell the age Of wine almost
to a day AS matter OF fact. there
are no secrets that a bottle OF wine
can withhold from this remarkable
Frenchwoman once she has had 8
spoonful of it In her mouth.
She does not swallow the wine. In
fact, she is a teetotaller, and II she
were to drink wine would lose her sub
tie magic of taste. Furthermore, she
Is obliged to take the greatest care
OF her health. She must be well In
order to do her work, for her sense
loses Its cunning when she gets out
of health.-Tit-Bits.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Power Of Vegetable Growth.

A tar macadam pavement stretch
Ing from the school OF gunnery at
shoeburyness (Eng.) to the sea is at
present in state OF violent il silent
eruption. About q fortnight ago the
surface became covered with what
may be called 4blisters," raised lit
Tie above the common level, which
attracted much wondering attention.
From each of these, in few days,
q series Of cracks appeared. extend
ing themselves In rays from center.
FINALLY came up a broad, soft shoot,
looking extremely well pleased with
itself and Its work, which proved TO
De 50 old and well known friend as
the thistle. AT this moment there are
hundreds OF those bold intruders show
ing defiantly through the pavement.
sHorolng most interesting iIiustra-
sion OF the power of vegetable growth.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Had 70 Rename F,ia wis.

The residents of certain suburb
OF Chicago were for time governed
by passion for giving sweet, poetical
names to their estates" There was
one such man who built handsome
villa. calling It ''The Nutshell" Thus
was the home introduced to his
friends. and 1t became widely known.
To the surprise OF all, therefore, the
name was one day suddenly changed
TO Sylvan Nook and q food of In.
auiries soon began to pour In.
Why have you given your home.
new name?" a friend asked. what
was the matter with The Nutshell?' 's
sIckened of being joshed about
IL" said the owner. with a sigh.
There isn't boy within two miles
nereabouts who hasn't stopped and
rung the doorbeH to ask IL the colo
mel was in.a-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
CIVIL SERVICE EXAMINATIONS.
Opportunities for Obtaining Employ
.nnent Under the Federal Gov
eminent.

| The United States Civil Service
Commission announces the following
examinations to be held on the dates
given below, and circulars containing
further information relative thereto
may be seen at the office of this
paper:
Oct. 22-Junior physicist {male),
Bureau of Mines. Pittsburg, Pa,
5000 to $1,000 a year. Age limit. I'M
der 40 years. The duties of this
position will consist in assisting in
physical investigations.
Ship craftsman (ma1e), Navy De-
partment, 1928 to s5.s8 per diem, with
possible promotion to $40 per diem.
Age limit 10 years or over. As insult
ficient eligibles were secured from the
examination held in June for this
position, qualified persons are urged
to enter.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
ACTS on The LIVER.
Dodson's Liver Tone Iivena Or ne
Liyer-Is More Than Mere
Laxative. 81

Ca1omeI was for years the oialy
known medicine that would stiTnulass
the liver But calomel Is often ian
gerous, and people are not 70 pas
blamed for being afraid OF 1t
Within the last few years man
medicines have been put out to ~
used instead of ealomel. but their ss'
feet is on the bowels not on the "
er. The X-Ray Pharmacy says w.
only real liver medicine to acfual.ys
take the place of calomel is Dodsoh s.
Liver Tono, a mild, harmless, Tegsp
Die liquid that the x-Ray Pharsnas'
recommends to take the place of e.
omel and which gives prompt rells..
in cases of constipation, biliousAsas
and sluggish liver.
So confident is the X-Ray PnaE1las.
that it gives Its personal guaran.ss
with every 50-cent bottle OF Dodsen s
Liver Tone You can be sure yoa ~ e.
getting Dodson's by asking g L. 81
store If it lis giving you the meaIsaass
1t personally guarantees TO Isas4-
money on If unsatisfactory
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
No Lady Killer.

M. Durand de Belleford de Gournay,
who few months ago startled the
simple folk Of Coutances by appearing
In brilliant uniform covered with
decorations and managed to swindle
the local trades-people OF hundreds Of
pounds, cut 9 sorry figure when he ap-
peared for trial at the assize court
today.
His only defence is that he SWIM
died because he wished to create an
impression on q woman with whom he
was In love. The Judge replied:
Don't talk to me OF making an Ina
preston on the fair sex. You are far
to ugly" and then sentenced him to
six years imprisonmens-Paris cor
respondenee London Daily Mail.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Stops Pain, Heals Wounds.

Royaline Oil Is STRONGER THAN
OTHER ANTIsEpTICs. That gives
it GREATER POWER TO EASE
PAIN, inside or outside, man or
beast. Also makes it go further and
give LARGER VALUE FOR THE
MONEY. That's why 1t wins every
where. over everything, when peo-
pie try it. Il Is praised Ioudest by
those who have used it longest. It's
different. You'll like 1t better. Try
1t now. 1oc., 25c-, Soc. Money back
plan,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27

Train No. ] connects at Belle Helene
Junction with Yazoo and Mississippi
Valley passenger train No. 80, going
south. Train No. 80 connects with
Yazoo and Mississippi Valley passenger
train No. 81, going north.
Special Sunday excursion trip. leaving
ST. elmo 8 a. m, and returning leaving
New River at 10 a. m. Connects with
Yazoo and Mississippi Valley regular
Sunday excursion from New Orleans to
Baton Rouge.
For further information address.
GEORGE W. REESE, Pres,
Audubon Bldg, New Orleans.
]. ROBERT BEAUVAIS. Supt.,
st. Elmo, via Darrow. La.
Telephone 311-4.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Save Half Your Money.

By using ORC for chills and fever,
bilious fever, malaria, colds and
grippe. A Csc. bottle contains exact
ly as many doses as the usual soc.
bottle, which is twice as large. Does
quicker and better work. 1t acts on
liver and bowels, cleans out the sys-
tenn, stops chills and fever, builds up
strength. No pills or calomel need
ed with it, Contains no poisons.
Is cents. Money back plan.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
This win IA.

callahan-W want to cit a book
to put the photographs av all me rela.
aves in. OF think this wan will do.
shopmail-But that isn't a family
aloum, sir: that's a scraphook.
CallahanOh. that's all right
Fonng man; all az me relatives we're
5crappars,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
Found HE plaes.

Two New England men Wefe w
Ing over the days Of their ooysssss
when one referred to an old scag "a.
mate who had most anforsuna 1s w
position.
II often wonder what became s
Dick. said his friend. nc alaa.sI
seemed TO me that It wouldns 90 l, S..
sible for him to get any enjoyInea ~ 81
Of life or to and any sort Of vork tas'
suited him. y i.
aoh. he's fixed all right, EGG ~
other man. 4 saw Inn h chIeses
last year, where he has 9 .op ~. go
suits him perfectly. He q station ar ~
ter in Q place where there aTy al ss
trains q day coming and goang. ri sf
Dick sees somebody miss svsf - IS
them.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
The Unsouaf1t THOUGHT.

the thoughts that como often I'M
sought. and. as 1t were, drop into the
mind. are commonly the most valuable
OF amp We have, and therefore should
DO secured, because they seldom re.
gsirn agal2r-Loeks.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
NOTICE.

! will pay reward OF SIS for the
arrest. or for any information lead
ing thereto, OF the person who at
tempted to set fire to building on
my premises the morning OF Tuesday,
Sept. 2 For the conviction OF the
guilty party reward of $50 win be
paid. G. WINTER.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27

The buy at home argument ap
plies to all branches of industry in
community without exception. Give
us chance to figure on your print
ing before sending away for ii.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27

Our printing has pleased
II will please yoi,.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1913-09-27
he DOnaIdsOllille cliet
Mississippi Valley Route
Steamer Virgie
J. C, DAVIDSON, j. j. HlCksoH,
Captain. S'S' ~
This swift and Elegant Boat Makes
FOUR TRIPS DAILY

befween Donaldsonville and Burnside, connect
ing with passenger trains as foiio"s'
Passengers going north take boat at O'CLOCK
a. M, and o'clock p. n .,.,.a,.
Passengers going south take boat At o;So o ciocA
g. M and 2:1G p. m.
Passengers taking $50 boat arrive at we" w
leans at $40 a, m. -. N.Y., Nv
Passengers taking 2:lo boat arrive a1 Ne" Ut
leans at $50 p. M.
A horse-car OF Burnside will convey passengers
to and from the boat free OF charge.
Through tickets to all points sold on the poat'
TRUNKS and BAGGAGE HANDLED
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
Dr.. parkhurst Tells
Secret of Happiness
BY DR.. c. H. PARKHURsT

A MAN generally manages
"A to be pretty comfortable
= with what he has, pro-
vidcd he knows of nothing more,
and is not thrown in with those
who are more literally fixed.
So far as we learn, our ances-
tors, while still living in the
woods, with no suspicion OF
modern conveniences and lux
uries, had very good time of
it. lived as long as they could
and passed on as regretfully as
we into the celestial fields.
A magazine writer has lately
been trying to prove to those
among us who are less comfort
ably situated that they ought to
be satisfied with their lot, and
that because the amount now on
deposit in the savings banks of
the country is $500, 200, 900. as
against $5oo,ooo,o0o in 1870.
there ought to be no complaint
on account Of hard conditions.
Such conclusion proceeds from
failure to appreciate one i'm
portant ingredient OF human
eontentedness.
Some people have the grace
to be satisfied with what they
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10

have, be it more or less than
what others have; but the atti-
tude Of mind OF the big majority
is this:
I am as good as ANYBODY
else, therefore deserve to have
as much as anybody, and be-
cause have less the public
treats me unjustly."
There is no doubt that there IS
great deal of unfairness in the
world. A great many have more
than they ought to have and a
great many more have less. and
this will never be pleasant and
harmonious world until there is
better adjustment than exists
at present between the conflict
ing claims of the different cle-
ments of society.
At the same time, whatever re-
adjustments may ultimately be
made, it will always be the case
IN this world, and probably in
the next. that our satisfaction
and contentedness will depend
not upon looking too much upon
the things of others, but upon
extracting all the juice that is
contained in the blessings that
are ogT own.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
Microbes Are Scouts
That Rout and Disor-
ganize the Enemy

And all this may be done
without harm to the tissues or
the functions of the body.
Such beneicent microbes are
like scouts and guerrillas, and
where they have skirmished the
enemy is found to be so disor-
ganized and broken up that it
can be swept out of existence.
A dramatic example of the
way in which the discovery was
made that microbes can, as Pro-
fessor Ramsay says, be "har-
messed" for useful work, is af-
forded by Pasteur's experience
with chicken cholera" He had
been inoculating healthy chick
ems with microbes taken from
fowls infected with the disease,
IN order TO study IFS method of
development The vacation pc
riod came along, and Pasteur
went away, leaving some of the
cultures of microbes in his lab
oratory When he returned he re-
sumed his experiments with the
microbes that had been left over,
and which seemed, as far as ap-
pearances went, to be as viru-
lent as ever.
But, to his astonishment,
when he inoculated them into
healthy chickens, the latter
went about their gallinaceous
(heniike) affairs with their usual
zest and good appetite, and did
not develop disease of any kind.
Here was an opportunity for
genius, and Pasteur was a ge-
MUS. Instantly he set to work
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
WE, MUST SEND THEM OUT TO PLAY


The ancient sin of the nations car ever eface
We the grow give souls
their
But listen my brothers lstenvhen child cries n pain
We must from the banquet
We must and find the Eeod of
Nor back the banquet until
he strong Justice lifted andey
AS sturdy will
But listen my brothers, listen the child
II mercess foot treads
We robbng the when rescue the
children NOW;
We must the little slaves Of Greed play
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
BY. GARRETT p. SERVISS

He name "microbe" is one
that generally inspires ter
ror because of all the won
derful discoveries that have
been made concerning the fear
full death dealing. powers that
many microbes possess.
But, in a most interesting ar
ticlc in Hearst's Magazine for
July, Sir William Ramsay
has just pointed out how mi
crobes may be, and are, engaged
as allies of man, either by
changing their malignant nature
or by setting them to war upon
other minute foes with which
we can not ourselves directly
fight.
In some cases the services
which microbes are able to rem
der in the battle against disease
might be compared to that of
fleets of small armed boats sent
out from squadron of battle
ships to enter the shallow and
hidden creeks and coves on an
enemy's coast, and attack the
foe in positions unapproachable
to the heavy vessels.
Our trained microbc allies
may race through our blood,
and penetrate the most secret
regions of our bodies, either de-
stroying the enemies already
lurking there, or laying waste
the territory against thir ad-
vance by depriving it of the
means of subsistence upon
which the invaders must depend.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
Pasteur's Discovery of
the Microbes Useful
ness an Accident

Thus Pasteur, led by happy
accident, had learned how to
harness" the microbes OF
chicken cholera and make them
work for health and life instead
OF for disease and death. They
became his guerriilas, with
which he waged successful war
upon an enemy of the domestic
fowl that had hitherto dehed at
tack.
After that it was found that
many other microbes, some of
them deadly enemies to human
life, like the terrible germ of
spinal meningitis, could be sub
dued and trained in a similar
way, and thus the great science
of incubation against disease
had its birth.
Professor Ramsay shows that
microbes can be employed not
only in combating disease, but
in aiding man in a hundred
other ways. For instance, the
preparation of tea, the curing of
tobacco and the manufacture of
butter and cheese are all pro-
cesscs conducted through the
intervention of our microbe
friends, which are falling more
and more under our control and
guidance. Science is teaching
them new duties.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
Public Should Approve
All Experiments With
Bacteria

New bacteria says Professor
Ramsay (bacteria are microbes)
ARE being discovered, or old
bacteria are being given unac-
customed food, from which they
evolve useful products. The
conversion of starch, a cheap
commodity in the form of maize
or potatoes, into two chemical
substances, named acetone and
butyi alcohol, is likely to have
far reaching results, for the lat
ter can easily be transformed
into india rubber, and the for
mer IS largely used in the manu-
facture Of certain kinds of high
explosives"
Mistaken people who would
interfere with such work on
purely sentimental grounds are
capable of doing much harm TO
the best interests of humanity.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10

to find out the reason for the
immunity of the chickens from
so deadly an enemy First he
inoculated them over again with
microbes taken fresh from fowls
that had the cholera. But the
chickens remained as lively and
healthy as ever. Then he found
out that if the microbes were
exposed for a long time to the
air, at a certain temperature,
they lost their virulence, they
could no longer communicate
disease, but they could, like scav-
engers, remove from the blood
of the chickens into which they
were introduced the elements
upon which the disease breeding
microbes subsisted.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10

The Of Monte Carlo hunting Wyoming
looking for the national of his princp he'd
further than Broadway
Evelyn Nesbit afraid of Harry Thaw requires
day persuade her Montreal while
The human soul has described
cake But hope Of them will angel cakes
Emperor William acting umpire game in
Germany But it's cnc the don't throw
and cushions at him.
SenatosPenoe that the United ready
Speaking politically the has had his share OF
Argentina is shipping beef to New York will
for it is shipping Roosevelt Argentina.
The who hit Billy Patterson away
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10

OW much there need of doing
IN But slowly and with patience jungle changed
But listen my brothers. listen; it is always
When murderer hand is lifted kill there
And the way change his purpose first
you give him the blow
The will
And the thornless be bred year
But listen, brothers listen it is not the way.
For the roots of the poison plant
If would better your soil
Hurry and dig the evil things and today
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-10
e g g Euening Calls g g g

primary election determines who knows the cs Of politics
India players we'll leagues Why they
have chance here? Ish might sign up Ishi
who planning the future 10 lot with thick
0 alfalfa
young choked death by his collar. But
collars from the laundry frayed anything
brave murder
Under the health regulations milk can't be the
cani $ canned
only obeyed
a few binge
earnings Funny
there's election pending to explain swollen