The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-07-27

there amt an hour in tn afthernoon or avenin'
whn ye won't see dozen lively encounters.
Dye see that blonde lady in purple wakin' down
tn porch-th' wan with TIL dmon tiary in her
hat? She's ssuin' def to tn lady in green in
tn front row. | think she loses this round but
she won't be baten in tn end She'll pull some
thing out v tn thrunk this afthernoon thatll get
her til money. It's wonderful sight, but he
says, wisht was to home
Why did ye come here? says T. That's tn
raison, says he, pintin' to lady who had sivral
furlongs " dimons around her neck an wore
besides pink plush dhrcss sashed up tn side an
at laste wan purple stocIin' that cud see An
why does she come hereP says l. Dye suppose
says he, that shed waste thin illuminations on
tn home folk? ? he says. No, sir. She's been
comm .here f'r twinty years, an she's aisy tn
clampeen iv TIL place. / don't like to boast he
says, openn' his aypaclSy coat an thrustin' his
thumbs undher his suspinders but he says,
with his mild blue eyes full iv a sudden fire, I
got five hundherd dollars to bet she's tn best
dhressed female in tn Mississippi valley firm
Duluth to Baton Rouge She's come here with
forty thrunks full iV upholstery an steel safe
crowded with precyous glassware an whn she's
uncovered thin all she'll make tn rest iv thin
women feel that they got their wrappers firm tn
toundlings' home he says. But he says, re-
soomin his plaintiff tone an loolSin wistfully at
his congress CATERS, jus tn same I'd give amy
thing to be back home on me own porch. with me
coat off, watchin' tn merry throng go by An
where do ye live whin ye amt here !? says I. In
Gary, lndyanny,' says he. Well thinks l. Gary
is handsome an. .prosp'rous city an it turned
out more steel rails last year thin ayether Rome
or Venice. But if a man firm Gary pines to 90
home, what's keepn citizen iv tn metropolis
iv tn west here? An I wint into tn hotel tore
me valise firm tn rosn on tn hure, subjected
meslf to search at tn hands iv tn cashier, an
left tn scene iv splindor f'river Arrivin' in our
fair city, found it as gay as usual TIL sthreets
were full iv life an crowded with tn happy peas
anthry; | see man thrown out iv resthrant
beture Id gone block an injine was ius'
turnin' out f'r fire as l passed Whin | got
home switched on tn ilicthrc fan an put some
ice an something to melt it with in pitcher, an
Hogan come in an we played siven up till in the
marnin' when he turned jack an put out tn
lights"
Ye go on" said Mr. Hennessy. 1--WE seen
ye ivry day fr twinty years an ye niver left this
place
II was long time ago." said Mr.. Dooley
hastily. " Besides, don't | r-read tn pa-apers
An, anyhow, what's tn use in havin an imag-
nation if it don't bring ye in anything? Th'
best way to put up with yeer throubles is to think
~ tn throubes iv others. If ye don't know they
have amy, think up some f'r thin. I<cudden't
stand tn heat if had to stand it alone An I'd
be an arnychst if | thought millyonaire got
amy more fun out iv life thin I do. like to
cheer mesilf be thinkn that he spnds his money
in exchangn discomforts that he's used to FIR
thin that he's got to get accustomed to. TIL on'y
diff renee between him an me today is that I'm
hot in Chicago an he's hot in Newport. There's
no place like home f'r discomforts'
Copyright; 1913; BY Finley Peter Dunne)