New-York tribune., 1913-07-24
AS | WAS SAYING


Drawer" and out pops the prehistoric Indian who
saw bcyclist somewhere back in the Plelsto-
Gene and whoops, as OF yore. Heap lazy white
man-sits down when he walks!
Oh creepy Tell II not 10 the Society Tor fsg-
chIcal Research. or shall be rung up at all
witching hours OF the night TO take In spirit mes
sages from the Neolithic Chinaman who described
tobogganng as "Whsht! Walkee back two mile
and the fossil Jap whose explanation Of billiards
was Three balls two sticks two men. one says
Damn? The other says. Hard lines" and the
antediluvian Esquimau who listened to the explorers
graphophone and grunted, Ugh! Canned white
man."
Not that we are afraid OF ghosts When it comes
10 forttude we trot with the intrepid soul who
shouted courageously from the mantelpece,
Don't think II is fear
That brings up here;
II is merely a kind Of a dread
And there are times when even the dread becomes
pleasant When we opened "The Editors Drawer"
and that prehistoric Indian popped out with his
bicycle joke, delighted. He represents n
class and the class has a mission. We hold that
humanity should be grateful for the few hard-wrung
enoyments II gets from sports, and wouldn't they be
an aching, moping sorrow except for the jokes?
Besides we often feel that ndlscriminate charity
to chestnuts is the very queen OF Christian graces
In a Wife for instance. Advice TO young man:
Choose a girl with a short memory. Then she Will
forget your Jokes and you can tell them over again
Down comes the curtain. It Is the end OF Act l.
And now, as Mr.. stephen Leacock remarks In THE
American Magazine" those OF the people who have
seen the play before very kindly explain how It ends
so as 20 help the enjoy IT, But the more serious
minded OF the men have risen very gently. and are
sneaking up the asles Their expression is stamped
with deep thought II pondering over the play.
But their step s that Of leopards on the march,
and one is deceived as to their purpose"
Pure genius, this; for the real humorist after all.
IS Truth. Don't be fooled by her solemn air once
you look the old girl in the eye. she goes off In a
gale OF giggles Yet is the hero who has faith
enough in American jocularity to raise n laugh by
stating things just they Keep It up, Brother
Leacock! The things that are so are whole lot
funnier than the things that aren't.
why do the heather rage, and the people imagine
vain thing? All! beloved. it is because they have
seen those stunning portraits Of Miss Jessie Wilson
and-from motives social well esthetic-crave
her phanthropic mnistrations.
They are our most triumphant climbers these
heather. II you want to know people Of distinction
and Importance and charm and real worth, be
heathen.- You won't have TO court them They will
court you.
(.
ington preparing to tickle the plain man by taxing
art and literature, and the plain man overrunning
twenty Chautauquas In such multitudes that they
become happy hunting ground for our Dollar Di-
pomatist on his rambles.
Well, well! Looks II, in matters cultural, the
plain hardly knew where he was at. Kites for
the nearest Chautauqua TO read pamphlet and
take degree yet "furriners" and their books
and their art Calls them rot for hghbrows."
Thank heaven he "ain't got that low yet"
So there you are And in the privacy OF this col
umn, we may say don't blame him. The ideas
Of culture he reshes but not for the lingo and 1t
IS lingo that makes highbrow-"furrin" lingo,
y for pictures bad French; for music German and
Italian for literature and science pdgin- and
hog-G Hang IT, hghbrow can never sling
culture in straight Ango-Saxon.
This is where the sport of being a highbrow comes
in. He picks out n stretch OF easy going strews II
With jawbreakers, tongue twisters brain -fuddlers
and mystic factconcealers, and promote an obstacle
race
See his medals! They are for calling common no.
tions by scarce names
Rather too much love-making takes place among
loud complaints from the alienists, who find that
frequently the sentimentalsts who meet under these
romantic circumstances are close akn-mentally as
we'll otherwise-to the lunatics
Were we In satlrical mood we might urge that
a lunatc asylum was just the place for love-making
but, feeling quite mushy at present we content our
self with recalling tender passage from NJ de
Varignys account OF the dragoon and the nursemaid
at the zoo. Their idyl begins in front of the
monkeys cage, and reaches its climax not inappro-
priately, beside the bear pit"
Speaking OF perfect Jobs" the other day. and
praising up paragraphng. we left out the main
point. What other job enables a man to leap for
Joy, when the dread minute arrives, and shout
"Hooroarl Blessed be run I'm fired" r. l.. II.