El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-09-27

dmDlLlOu, ana my own was 10 WIN
IL some distinction which should
make my fellows envious of my
proweSs.
Life saving at fires was my first idea.
I practced running up and down lad
ders, while 1 positively made my par
entS miserable by the ruthless way in
which manipulated the garden hose
And it was only after I had carefully
hit the postman full in the face with
stream of water as he came up the
front path that 1 was made to desist,
my father Indignantly remarking that
he could not afford to pay a sovereign
compensation every day, even to please
me. However, by this period had be-
come pretty well proficient, and merely
bided my time for putting my skill into
practice.
Opportunity came quickly in the
shape of a fire at a dwelling house in
the neighbOrhood, and I rushed to the
scene of action, eager to distinguish
myself The local brigade had not ar
rived, but some people passing had
raised a ladder against the second
floor window. Pushing them aside l
rapidly assembled half way, and then
well, then it began to feel so hot that
1 thought I'd better come down again
This 1 proceeded to do amid the jeers
of the fast gathering multitude.
thought, perhaps, my talent lay more
in the way of playing on the fire with
the hose than in saving life, which
seemed such very hot work. But l
~ my feet touched the ground, L
snatched the hose from a fireman
who had just arrived, swung IL round,
quite Internationally deluging the
crowd as I did so, and played ii on to
a dog kennel from which the smoke
was issuing. Then the fireman. sup
pose annoyed at my prompt voluntary
sSistance-Suatched the hose from me,
played the gushing water right in my
face, and then again poured the
stream on to the burning house. The
crowd rOared with delight, and 1
walked home with a vague impression
that 1 had rendered myself unpopular.
When the Boer war broke out, my
father, who never approved of my
medal hunting tendencies, grimly OBJ
served that here was the chance OF my
life if 1 really thirsted for glory. Be
ing a volunteer I wished to go out with
my companions in arms, but un-
fortunately I had quite lot of social
engagements just then, so 1 denied my
self the pleasure of fighting my coun-
try's battles. But 1 went to see the
OthersOf f at Southampton, and was
with them in spirit all through the war:
And such lot of fellows volunteered
that 1 think it was really more dis
tngTished to single myself out from
the crowd and remain at home
After finding that fire and war both
failed to provide me with the oppor-
tunities 1 thirsted for, l turned my at
tentiOn TO the watery element, and
practiced swimming under the tuition
tory art 1 became an expert swimmer,
and thencefOrth was always on the look
out for chances to perform deeds OF
"derring do in sea or river Beyond
falling out of a boat on the Thames,
however. nothing of note happened for
a long time. Unfortunately, authorities
do not award medals nor even prizes to
the man who merely saves himself
Last summer l regularly haunted
the shore at Shrimpton-super-Ma Mare,
where 1 went for my annual fortnights
holiday. on the look out for drowning
people to rescue, but there were none
But, as we know, all things come to
the man who waits" and one morn
ing my chance seemed to have arrived
The sea was a trifle rough; but, IN
spite of this, there were number OF
bathers disporting themselves in the
pillows at about u noon, when 1 took
my usual walH along the parade sud
denly I saw d bather some distance 10
the left of the rest throw up his hands
and sink.
With me to think is to act In a
flash l had cast off my coat, kicked
my shoes away, and plunged into the
sea. With rapid, powerful strokes L
ploWed my way out to where the un-
fortunate bather had disappeared I'M
mediately I reached the place L pre-
pared to dive; just at that. moment
however, the man rose almost beneath
me. Remembering how dangerous 1t is
to let drowning men grasp their WouId
be rescuers, I seized him by the PACK
of the neck and began pushing MIN
vigorously towards the shore. Just as
I had fOreseen. he straightway com
menced the struggle 1 kept hrm
hold. and exhorting him to fear noth-
ing but trust to me, 1 continued push
ing him along through the water;
'Le'me gO-leme go! We snail
both drown if you
Keep quiet" I exclaimed, admins
tering a good shake to the scruff OF mis-
neck Keep quiet, you fool; anotner
half dozen strokes and we are safe
At that moment my foot touched the
beach. and 1 continued; "Ah, mere we
are on shore at last-saVCd.
The ingratitudc of that man snail
never forget; instead of thanking me
for preserving his life at the lmml-
nent-well more or less imminent
IRISH of my own, he sputtered out
about a quart of sea water ana yelIed;
"Dolti ASS Idiot How dare you
lay violent hands on me Ike this!
Thought I was drowning! Drowning
be dashed Showing me through the
water as nearly as possible did drown
me. Can't a man dive and amuse hlm-
self without some officious idiot like
you to show off and earn little
cheap story2 Go to the devil, sir!
IA POOTTTTT.A PARTY