Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-11-09

ways thought you knew all the law there
is"
II do" replied Worthington. 'but l
wanted to get out a little and teach 1t to
some of those judges over there"
Then he looked up and to his aston
ishment beheld a judge of the Supreme
Court of the District of Columbia
II thought I'd get a hot one back, ="
said the judge.
The town seems to be troubled by a
visitation of pests worse than the seven
wear locust | refer to the band of ear
nest auctioneers who have encamped
along the main streets. Their chief am
hition seems TO be to sell four-hundred-
dollar watch for $50, or vice versa. and
Judging from the complaints made by
the regular jewellers, the auctioneers must
nave apout trainload of stuff.
There's something very fascinating
about auctioneer- ] suppose that
why they get to be so important-being
fascinating. l. one of these auctioneers
were Just plain. square-cut granite kind
# human lie would be selling cemetery
lots or adding up some other person $
ic;ur6s i'll a bookkeeping department. but
est imaesne an auctioneer being anything
ut al auctioneer. Try to picture him as
i car conductor:
Fourth street-ith street-4th street
an,' one want 4th street? Asphalt and
rick cutters. row of fine apartments on
fhe east side and an milne house on the
corner Nh, gentleman down in front
wants ith street. He is a sport. There
is Il citizen am proud to see here today.
ny one else? Does any one else want
tth street? What? Lady with the small
child wants 4ia Four-and-a- half-four-
and-a-half- four and half? Wake up!
Here's four and a-haIf-four-and-a- half
four-and-a-half, Four and-a-half! Once!
Four-and "a half. Twice! Four-and-a-half!
Three times. Gone, All aboard.
Ding, Ding
No. II would not do.
| have been walking by the doorways
Of these auctioneers lately and have ac-
cumulated some of their wisdom and have
learned some of their tricks. One of the
auctioneers | have observed has a select
trio of takers. who stand there when
business is dull. initiating crowd. They
have listened to the everlasting. never
ending clatter of that mill-wheel tongue
rntii even their drab-colored backs seemed
bored and uninterested. They stand with
their faces to the counter with all the
animation of a wax figure pressing a wax
nose against the side of a packing box.
Al day long they must stand and listen
10 the droning song of the auctloneer.
Behind the counter. on a chair. stands
that glorious talker- with his soulfui, all
compelling voice. He pleads and begs.
and scars TO heights OF description in
talking about a three-dollar watch or a
forty-cent nut cracker that would soften
the heart of a stone image. / have stood
in the doorway listening to him tell his
fake audience that a great manufactur-
ing concern has especially commissioned
him to get rid of those priceless wares at
figures amounting to hundredth part of
the real value. He has spoken with a
feeling akin to that of Ingersoll at the
tomb of Napoleon all aimed at getting
me to come inside and bid quarter or
so upon that pinchbeck gewgaw in his
hands.
Sometimes have had ~ turn away
with a sob-he is too realistic and I al
ways was tender hearted fellow l hate
TO see such ruthless destruction of values.
Yet that auctioneer has spent enough
of his art on me 10 make the sphinx
crawl up and lick his hand. / think he
knows me and filings cheap gibes
at me.
once while he was recting an epic on