davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
GOOD STORIES

the inferior kind is to be offered with
the soup. Do you understand"
James duly mastered this and the
other details of his work, and the
banquet began. Presently the hostess
signed to James and that young man,
seizing the decanter, began to make
his rounds, saying in clear and pene-
trating tones as he approached each
guest:
Inferior sherry. ma'am?" Inferior
sherry. sir?'-Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
Why He Was Peeved.

An angry advertiser rushed into office of paper
recently and shouted See here, ought
Thousands Of patrons wearing of make
The foreman Of the composing looked and weak
Iy said, "Well?'
The advertiser threw down a COPY of paper
containing the ad The composor had made IT 'matrons
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
THIS& THAT
Wan Sometimes a Late ortAe ofAe-
AN ULTIMATUM.

addressed to the man who, whenever we
pullman, has the berth Just above
US and snores contralto
most of the night.)
Yop, sir, asleep IN the upper
kno,o not Uho you ruoy be-
You toho'ue been snoring since supper
Listen to me.
Take from my plight all the tun your.
Grdc+otsSly minded to take;
Then lend an ear to this one YOU'RE
Keeping quake.
This is the toord Of no cut-up,
Nor Is It spoken In nirth:
One of these, sir, must be shut tip
You or the berth.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
BUT NOT BY US. G. P.

From Garrett P. serviss' syndicate stufr)
1 could pay no attention to the wonderful
statistics that were poured into my ears
about the incredible number of THIS, THAT
and THE OTHER thing that could be turned
out in a single minute
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Mr.. McAdoo being unable to get to
New York often, we hasten to advise
him that an ad in his Hudson tunnel
cars is offering Furniture and Beds"
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
Detained.

you ought be ashamed spend of
life in jail" said the kind lady to the prisoner. .
Madam" replied the convict don't blame for It. I
assure that am here against wll."Detrot Free
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Answering one or three queries, refer
ence to this campanile as a trachea was
not intended to convey the impression
that it is a windpipe cinch.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
INTRODUCING THE OWENS OF PINcHEM
(From the Winchester. KY, Sum-
PINCIEM

INTRODUCING THE OWENS OF PINCHEM
CFrom the Winchester. KY, Sum-
PINCHEM
Rev. A. s. Godby filled his regular appoint
ment at Owens Chapel Sunday and Sunday
night.
N. G. Owen and family. of RenIck. visited
his mother, Mrs. SaIlie Owen, Sunday and
attended church at Owens Chapel.
Mrs. W. d. owen and daughters visited
Mrs. Ssllie Owen Sunday.
Messrs. Parker and Henry Owen of Win
chester, visited their mother, Mrs F. n
owen, Sunday and attended church at
Owens Chapel.
Mrs. Sallie Owen and son, Artie, visited
Mr.. and Mrs. J. w Smith from Monday
until Wednesday.
Mr.. S. T. Owen. OF Winchester, visited
his mother, Mrs. Sallie Owen, Sunday and
attended church at Owens Chapel
l. NJ. Todd and family visited Mrs r. n
Owen Sunday and attended church at Owens
Chapel.
s F. King and family. OF winchester,
visited Mrs. Sallie Owen. Sunday.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Copy! Rush this standing head TO
comp room: "Hefiin Raps Sufrragtsts."
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Following the lines of least resist
ance, which are those of previous rea-
soning. the theater usher who tells one
center aisle" when the house has four
aisles is presumably actuated by the
fact that he % O theater usher.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Joe Boehling, Of course, is in no such
ignorance Of Boehling Day as was
johnson regarding the cup plans. Little
pitchers have big ears.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

THINGS WE WANT TO KNOW.
XIII.
Where physicians spend the inter-
walls between meals. And why 1t is
that professional visits HAVE to be
made just as the family is sitting
down to dinner.
Pitches With Injured Ankle. THE
Herald"
Some feet.
Calvo. Cubist fielder.
Spruce up on those wInd-ups of
yours" directs J. z. The concluding
paragraph. If you want to shuttle of
gracefully, should be one OF the highest
type"
Winding up with a paragraph of
the highest type. ]. E, is one of the
easiest things we do.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Reformation and Unity" by ]. Ar
thur Davis. published by the author, 2OO2
Eleventh street northwest, Washington,
d. c.
An open letter to the colored churches
and colored preachers concerning the
amalgamation of beliefs as a means Of
bettering the race. An earnest attempt
Ut the solving of the race problem.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Floss has applied for patents, she
writes, on an arrangement to distin-
quish live mosquitoes on the ceiling
from the corpses of old ones by COM
pelling the former to carry green lights.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

THE FRIENDS OF YOUNG CAP DOYLE
Fron the New York ''Times")
Herzos again appeared on third today. and
Larry Doyle. who in the last visit Of the
Giants here was out of the game. much to
the delight OF his numerous friends. was on
second. =
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
Why Telephone centrals Demand

Why Telephone Centrals Demand
Shorter Hours.
VIII you give me the time. please p
But there MUST be somebody there
They hardly ever go out"
Can you tell me the name of the
street above Anderson? Well
1 thought you might know"
What's the scorer"
But they couldn't be busy all tha,
time. You must be mistaken"
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

We could, IL 1t weren't for a number
Of things. concoct a disjointed witticism
about the fall Of Huerta being due to
the gravity Of the situation. But its
very simplicity restraints us.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
The p Weakly.

G. s. K: Ny idea Of the height of
Observation-Disclosures raised to the nth
power, as 1t were: A film weekly at the
movies showing Mayor This Of Squash
Center unveiling a monument to the
first settler before a large crowd; next,
Governor That addressing the citizens
at the annual parade of volunteer street.
sweepers; then, pageant at vincennes,
Ind, with floats bearing ladies and kids
in cheeseeloth draperies; etc. etc, ad
uninterestem. e. r. w.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28
Here's a Book

"Out Of the Depths" by Robert Ames
Bennett, published by A. c. McClurg and
Company, of Chicago.
A Western romance which deals with
the reclamation of a college youth
whose fathers indulgence and a mis-
directed spirit of adventure and enter
prise had almost ruined.
The rough land in the canyon. the
true people, and the respect Of a fine
girl all help to straighten out the kinks
in his manhood and make him what he
should have been.
Although the remarkable series OF
events which work for the betterment
of the boys character are ostentatious-
ly the made work Of the author, the
development is gradual and consistent
A typical hammock novel, easy to
read, interesting at the time, but quick
to be forgotten. Its great good lies in
the message of hope the author sends
out to the worthless college youth of
good family, whose protracted college
pranks and overgrown attempts at be-
Ing a scapegrace have nearly landed
him in the hands of the State. There
are many such.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Add Waste Energy: Combing three
column Riley Marshall speech for a
thought sufficiently solid to nail a para
graph to.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

THINGS WE WANT TO KNOW.
Kill
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

'After-thester supper; used for the rhym.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

David Craum says he is always VIII
ing to accept favors to encourage gen
erosity in others.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

F. King and family. Of Winchester,
tied Mrs. Sallie Owen. Sunday.
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

Good intentions may be good for the
conscience, but the best thing for the
reputation is to keep your debts paid
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

The only faults that are noticeable
enough to attract attention are some
body else's. A. .HE
The Washington times., 1913-07-28

} The less a man knows the more easil!
he is insulted, says Prof. Pinned.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

age. and actions along that line,
prove that those doing the work
have a very strange idea of fun.
Every village or town where such
actions are the custom should have
enough special policeman on duty
the night Of October 31st to prevent
the destruction of property and ar
rest those who act in a disorderly
manner. The Aberdeen American
has the following in regard to Hal
lowe'en disorders:
Halloween was rather quite
festival in Aberdeen, as with few
exceptions everyone conducted him.
self in becoming manner, and there
were but few reports Of disturbances
throughout the city.
THE city was we'll protected with
an augmented police force. Chief
Jump had a force of ten school-boys
patrolling various beats assigned to
them, and there were also force Of
seven extra plain-clothesmen. Only
two arrests were made. and these
were for drunkenness. 1t seems
that the ancient custom Of destroy
ing property and playing mischievi-
Gus pranks has been largely done
away with. The young people for the
most part prefer to enjoy their
Halloween at a party or social
gathering of some kind, instead OF
parading about the city, creating a
disturbance and getting into mis-
chief"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

so overwhelming that the civil-ser-
wise system is admittedly in great
danger. The following paragraphs
from the Bismarck Tribune, regard
ing the matter, have the right ring:
1.-THE Senate committees, proposed
amendment to the urgent deficiency
bill relating to the appointment Of
deputy collectors Of internal revenue
and deputy marshals. who are sub
ject to bond. is a direct return to
the spoils system Of filling govern
ment offices. departure from the
merit principle, and as such should
be promptly neaatived by the senate
itself. The excuse given that, mas
much as these officials are under
bonds. they should be exempt from
civil-service restrictions. does not
justify the abandonment of the
merit principle in their selection.
It does not follow that man who is
chosen after competitive examina-
ton is less trustworthy than one
who is selected directly by the prin-
cipal official as a matter of personal
choice or at the behest of a power
full political influence. The govern
ment's financial interests are surely
safeguarded by the bonding Of these
officials, and the civil-service tests
through which the selections are
made afford satisfactory guaran-
tees of character.
1.-The civil-service system has been
brought to its present state of pro.
lection against spoils with great
difficulty, and against the persistent
pressure of politicians seeking pa
tronage. 1t requires watchfulness
on the part of its friends to avert
trespass. At every session of con-
gress there is evidenced a disposition
to break down the barriers between
the political place-seekers and the
governments positions in order to
develope partisan machines and to
advance the party fortunes of lead
ers. Whatever may be the motive
in the present instance, the effect of
opening these particular positions to
direct partisan appointment cannot
fail to be harmful to the merit prin-
ciple in general. The friends of the
system in congress
should unite to prevent this invasion
regardless of the claim that subor-
dinate bonded officials should not be
chosen by test of merit. The very
method by which it has sought to
modify the civil-service law is
If this exemption is to
be effected, it should not be under
taken by way of the amendment of
an appropriation bill.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
CHOOSING 4 HOBBY.
Maks II ons That Will Relieve the
Tension Of Business.

Make II ons That Will Rsiisvs the
Tension Of Business.
Writing OH the advantage and enjoy
ment that ii busy man will derive from
4 hobby, Arnold Bennett says In the
Metropolitan: y
''In choosing ilistraction-that II to
say. In choosing a rival to his business
The should select some pursuit whose
nature differs -as much as possible
from the nature Of his business, and
which will bring into activity another
side Of his character. If his business
Is monotonous, demanding care and
solicituds rather than irregular, In
tense efforts Of the brain, then let his
distraction be such as will make a
powerful call upon his brain. But II
on the other hand the course Of his
business runs in crises that string up
the brain to its highest strain, then let
his distraction be foolish and merry
one.
MANY men fall into the error Of MS
Stunning that their hobbies must be as
dignified and serious rs their voca-
tons, though surely the example Of
the greatest philosophers ought to
have taught them better! They seem
to imagine that they should continu-
ally he improving themselves in either
body or mind. II they take up sport,
it Is because the sport may improve
their health. And II the hobby is In
tellectual 1t must needs be employed
to improve their brain.
1.-THE fact IL that their conception Of
self improvement Is too narrow. In
their restricted sense of the phrase
they possibly don't need improving.
they possibly are already improved to
the point Of being nuisance to their
fellow creatures; possibly what they
need Is worsening. In the broad and
full sense of the phrase self improve
ment, a course OF self worsening might
improve them.
| FL have known men-and everybody
has known them-who would approach
nearer to perfection IL they could only
acquire little carelessness, a little
observation-disclosures, n little Illogical
ness, little irrational and infantile
gaIety, little unscrupulousness in the
matter Of the time Of day. These con-
alterations should be weighed before
certain hobbies are dismissed as being
unworthy of plain mans notice"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
Not only for young women. blu

Not only for young women. but
for young men as we'll, there are
many pitfalls for those who 90 from
the country to seek their fortunes
insthe big cities. Wholly unused to
city life, honest themselves and be.
lieving every one else to be 80,
young men from the farms and from
the country towns are exposed to all
sorts of temptations and frequently
are led from the straight path by
their environment. Heretofore, the
energies of the good people of the
cities have been directed to protec-
ton and assistance for young women
strangers, and it is quite edifying to
note that in Minneapolis the Y. M.
c. A. have recognized that young
men workers from rural commune
ties need friends and advice when
they take up their residence in the
cities. We cheerfully give space
to the following paragraph taken
from Minneapolis paper regarding
recent action of the organization
above referred to in its effort to
help young men who are strangers
to city life:
The Y. Nj. C. a. would strongly
discourage young men from gong
to the large city to seek work unless
they are skilled in some lucrative
trade or profession and have some
definite employment arranged for
in advance. In his struggle with
the city the unskilled CIR. inexperi-
enced young man is go handicapped
that advancement is mighty uncer-
tain and many young men find them
selves unable to rise above the mea-
ger position which they first secured
when arriving in the city. But to
all young men who do go to Mime
apolis the Y. M. C. A. of that city
offers hearty welcome and will be
glad to have them come to it's build
ing at "a So. 10th St. Immediately
upon their arrival in the CITY,"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
"STARyING TO DEATH
Was Mrs. Bell, Of Florida, When
She Began Taking Peruna.

Eyes, was starving to DEATH"
sald Mrs. Emma Bell, of Fort Pierce.
Florida, Box 20A, when ! began TO
take Peruna. / could not eat any
thing. II swallowed anything 1t
soured on my stomach. My stomach
was very much swollen. My bowels
acted as II ! had acute dysentery. /
was in great distress and pain. Three
doctors had been employed. but gave
me no relief. was continually
growing worse.
Was In Despair.
TN my despair I caught at every
straw. Picking UP O newspaper saw
some account of Peruna. There was
a testimonial from q woman who had
been troubled much like myself.
concluded to try Peruna.
Wrote to Dr.. Hartman.
"At the same time wrote to DR..
Hartman. He pronounced my case
catarrh Of the stomach and bowels.
I soon began taking Peruna. At
once began to improve. After TAX
Ing half a bottle my stomach was so
improved that I could eat some"
! Began to Recover.
Then this good housewife goes on
to narrnte in detail her rapid i'm
provement and final recovery. She
said. AFTER taking two bottles Of Pc
runa was strong enough to stand up
to wash the dishes" When she be-
gan taking Peruna she weighed 102
pounds. After she had taken five
bottles of Peruna she weighed 122
pounds. She concludes by saying
that she is well.
II Was Twelve Years Ago.
The letter from which the above
quotations were made was received
January 20, 1901. In later letter.
written September II, 1904. she says.
II sing the praises Of Peruna far and
near. It is used q great deal In our
vicinity. This seems to be bad
place for catarrh." We have received
letters from her since. The last time
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

1t took a good many years for the
statesmen of both the leading par
ties to largely overcome the federal
spoil system and establish the civil
service system under which en-
ployes in certain classes held their
position during good behavior.
Grover Cleveland. the only Demo-
cratic president for fifty years, with
the exception Of Wilson, was a
powerful friend of the plan to pre-
vent the loss of position by expert
enced men and women in minor
government positions because of a
change of political administrations.
However, the scramble for federal
Offices since the change Of admins
tration from one party to another is
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
PICTURESQUE HAVANA.
A Foreign City In Every Sense, With
It's Own Odd Charm.

Americans driving to their hotel
through Hayana's narrow, noisy streets
invariably exclaim that 1t seems to
them las II they were abroad" The
question-to borrow a phrase from the
widely Travelled but Unconditional Mr..
Baedeker-''need not detain them long"
They are abroad. Havana is not mere
~ like foreign town." 1t is foreign
town. 1t has It's own odd look, Its spe-
cial picturesqueness, Its own tnmultu-
Gus life. 1t abounds In unknown dishes
and strange fruits, and upon the hot
tropic night 1t pours out half barbaric
music and queer melancholy songs.
The long traditions Of the Spanish
dominion OF the two Americas still
cling about Havana's fortresses and
the palaces, churches and monasteries
of her ancient streets. She was a
proud. rich city, the entrepot of the
west, when our northern mainland was
a wilderness. And now In the Cuban
twentieth century she is "a crowded,
thriving, gay metropolis, with her own
pride, her own tropic airs and graces,
her own wholly un-American individrl-
atty.
She may be crowded in the brief
winter season with American tourists,
may contain (as indeed she always has
containedD considerable American
business colony and may be refuge
for derelicts and vngabonds straight
from the pages Of O. Henry, Richard
Harding Davis and other Kiplings Of
Spanish America. still, she is always
the old Havana, the Cuban capital Of
Cuba. Harrison Rhodes in Metropoli-
tan.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

we heard from her. December 1912.
she was stu q friend Of Peruna.
For other testimonials on catarrh
OF the stomach, see Ellis of Life" sent
free. Address Peruna Co., Columbus,
Ohio.
The stomach and bowels are lined
with q mucous membrane. They are
therefore subject to catarrh. the same
as the nose and throat. Catarrh OF
the stomach and bowels will derange
the functions of these organs. The
stomach can no longer digest food.
The food lying in the stomach, even
for short time, without digestion,
Immediately sours. The souring pro-
duces gas and irritation.
Food Sours In the Stomach
A portion Of the undigested meal Is
absorbed into tho system by the blood
vessels Of the stomach. This poisons
the whole system, producing a coadi-
ton now known as autointoxicatlon
self poisoning. The fermenting, fri
tat!ng mass, as 1t passes down into
the bowels irrltates the bowels, pro-
ducinY sometimes o chronic 'dlarrhea,
sometimes producing the very oppo-
site, constipation.
The average dyspepsia medicine
helps to artificially digest the food.
Even when such medicine does its
work It is only temporary. A perma-
ment relief can only be expected when
the catarrh Is overcome.
Symptoms Of catarrh of the Stomach.
The symptoms Of catarrh Of the
stomach are: First. heartburn. Sec
ond, food rises in throat after meals.
Third, sour stomach. Fourth. heavy
feeling after eating. Fifth. stomach
bloated, belching of gas. Sixth, PAL
pitation of heart. Seventh, poor de
gestion, have dyspepsia. Eighth.
tongue coated light brown. Ninth.
tenderness over pit Of stomach.
Tenth. cannot bear tight c!othen
around waist,
People who object to liquid msdi.
cines can now obtain PerunA Tablets,
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

1t would appear that even the
thick cuticle of Free Silver Billy"
Bryan has been penetrated by the
adverse criticism of people of all
shades of political belief, and that
he has finally made up his mind to
quit his plan of dropping the pusi-
ness at Washington for which the
government pays him and delivering
addresses for hire in various cities
of the country, in one instance, at
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
sir humphry payy.

Sir Humphry Davy married Wild
ow as peculiar as himself. His pet af-
fectation was a lack Of time. He was
always in a hurry. He pretended that
he had no leisure to dress himself, and
when change OF linen became neces-
sary he simply put one shirt over an
other until he was known to have on
five or six shirts at time. OF course
he could not wear this amount Of ap.
parel without appreciably increasing
his size. aud his friends not in the &C.
.cret were sometimes surprised to see
linn fall OF in apparent weight twenty
pounds In day. His wife's great anx-
iety was to keep him .'tit for company"
but as lie did not care q fig for COM
ipany she had no easy task, and domes-
tic discord was a common thing.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06
Tn. LIGHT Ih.t eFailed. J

1t was by an accident that Mr.. Kip.
ling got his famous title, 1.-THE Light
That Failed" He had almost decided
to call the novel ''The Failure" al
though he was dissatisfied with this.
One evening rs he was sitting In his
study reading by lampllght the light
went suddenly downalmest failed, in
fact. In Il second Kipling jumped up,
sxclaiming excitediy, BY love, I've
got itr Pointing to the lamp. he said,
-The Light That Failed
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1913-11-06

There is absolutely no reason why
once every year boys should be al
lowed to act like hoodlums and go
around on the night Of the 31at Of
October destroying property. Prac-
.tically everywhere in the older
states this idea Of raising ned" on
Halloween has passed to limbo of
things that we're. Tumbling over
onthouses, with the consequent dam