davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

fish. the more uncertain and capricious
they are. Yearlings, like chaildren.
have to eat every day, and if they
can't get one thing will take another,
flies, reaches and sometimes worms.
East Lake has many game fisA in it
and none others except that fish-h
the carp. Several of these have been
taken with dough bait weighing from
10 to 24 pounds. The sun Dream are
plentiful and they strike reaches and
sometimes are caught with dough on a
small hook. l have seen some nice
trout taken there with the yellow fly
and the troll and on some days with live
minnows.
Inc changeable weather has had u
very decided effect on still waters and
also In streams. Some days we get EN-
and then some we DON'T
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
sYGoPHANTs.

When days were fair friends gathered
round
And said how much they thought Of
him;
By ties of true affection bound,
Their eyes With tears must soon grow
dim
If any care should vex his heart.
Or any sorrow lay him low.
And so they stroye with specious art
The outward forms of 'ove to show.
But fell misfortunes followed fast
His wealth took wings and sped away;
He saw himself east down at last
Where grief held undisputed sway.
And those who h.ti protested much
Ne'er thought to seek his humble door;
They had no further use for such
A wretch as he so mean and poor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
Federal Offices

Looking back nearly 10 years | am
struck with the general favor with which
the civil service laws have been accepted
by politicians as well as the public said
ali old democrat.
In MIR. Cleveland first administration
thousands of republicans were turned out
OF office to make room for democrats.
Cleveland was a civil service reformer,
but he believed in extending the rules
gradually. In his second administration
there We're no so many republicans re-
moved as there We're eight years before.
Now, believe that 80 per cent OF the
offices are protected by civil service There
was some grumbling among the army OF
officeseekers during the first three weeks
of Mr.. Wilson's administration, and there
may be some grumbing yet, but poiiti-
clans have accepted the situation. we
are living in a new age"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
THE SCIENCE OF DETECTION
From the July Woman's Home Com.
panion.

From the July Woman's Home Com
panion.
There had been a bold, brazen rob-
berry in the jam closet. Evidence of
haste was plain, splotches of jam being
everywhere. When the owner of the
jam made the discovery that she had
been robbed, she spent no time or eff
fort in futile speculation. She took
prompt and practical steps. She
searched in the spilled jam for finger
prints, and found them.
"Hah." she chuckled in the best
Sherlock Holmes manner, II shall have
the thief in five minutes" She went
to her bedroom and took from a bureau
drawer four squares of paper. They
were labeled respectively: Wilie's
thumbprint; Helen's thumbprint Tom
my's thumbprint; and fourth--a very
little one-Baby's thumbprint. Quietly
she took them to the jam closet and
made comparisons.
1T is as I suspected" she said as
she got down; 'it was Tommy"
That night Tommy got his
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
CLERICAL WITS

from the London Globe
habeais was monk long before he
wrote his droleries, but that he was a
| nuinorist first is evidenced by the many
practical jokes which brought down upon
, MN the punishment of his spiritual su-
periors. In his case the priestly profession
| became too confined for his talents and he
| made a better doctor of the body than he
had been of the soul, but it was his ca
reer as wit that brings him fame into
our day. His Gargantuan stories stand as
his record, and their grim brave humor
reflect the man; that they read coarse to
US is merely the accident of their age.
| Rabelais hit hard, but he was returning
blow for blow and fierce irony was a
necessary weapon of the time.
| Dean Swifts biting satire needs mem
ton only, he possessed the wit that was
| of the F'renchman.
| The pulpit is not immune from wit in
our own day, but seldom takes the per-
sonal form of u certain divine who
preaching a university sermon at Oxford,
ended abruptly by remarking that he
saw it was time to shuttle hys boolse
because the doctors men had now come
wiping their boards, from the alehouse.'
referring thus to the custom of the mace
bearers. who were wont to repair to a
lneighboring public house during the
preaching and returning only when they
| thought it was nearly over
| A reference of slightly varying charac-
| ter was that of an old I.anarkshire min
ister who read out for his text the verse
| in the Psalms, II said i'll my haste, all
men are liars and then proceeded to
| give his sermon in the form of an apos-
trophe, thus "Ay, David, ye said it in
your haste did ye? If ye had lived i'll
this parish, ye might have said it at your
| leisure!'
| Laughter savors life and wit will en-
dure long after many of the old priestly
| functions have fallen into desuetude;
manners and ideas alter, but the basis of
humor remains the same. Today Rabelais
conceivably could have written the SIN
goldsby Legends" and in the fifteenth
century Barham might have been the au-
thor of "The 1nestiriable Life of the
Great Gargantua" Today young cleric,
preaching his first sermon, has the native
wit to take for his text, What hath this
| babbler to Say?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
A VALUABLE MANUSCRIPT

from 1lL-BllS.
There is more value in the actual
written MS. than the young author who
carefully sends his typewriter efforts
to the editor ever dreams. OF course
you must allow something for fashion
even in MS. For instance, the original
manuscript of Besants Herr Paulus''
only realized f2. Gissing's Ewes RAN
som" Ell, whilst Edna Lyall's "Dono-
van" was judged worth $50. These are
but small figures compared with the EAT
paid for a single leaf of one of Cap
tain Cooks log books. Even this paled
before the immense sensation afforded
by the bidding for another leaf-this
time from the lost journal of Captain
Cooks first voyage in 1770 Collectors
of Australiana were specially keen, as
it contained the earliest reference to
Botany bay, and ultimately this parti-
cular leaf was secured for f451
Anything by Stevenson is of great
interest to collectors and it is not sur
prising that for one page containing
the autograph list of title and thirteen
chapter headings for a projected novel,
The Adventures of Henry Shovel" with
scribbled memo of some medicines
the novelist wanted an enthusiast
should have given ESP.
Robert Burns, Scotlands national
poet, wrote three and half pages of
verses to friend, requesting a ia
vor Manuscript hunters thought moth
ing of paying f135 for it.
When George Meredith bequeathed
- 1t.
certainly gave her a handsome present
They realized prices as follows: Diana
of the Crossways," FIGS; "Tale of
Chloe" f171; Tragic Comedians" 1920;
"one of Our Conquerors." 1890.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
FAvORITE FICTION

From the Chicago Tribune.
Z Your Last Chance to Buy Lot in This,
Subdivision.
When ! Am on the Roof OF a Sky
scraper ! Always Feel an Irresistible In
clination to Throw Myself Down"
Certainly, Mr.. Jones; It VIII Afford Me
Great Pleasure t. Contribute Sometime;
to That Fund
Il Know Your Name as Well as My
own but 1t Escapes Me for the Mo-
ment' N
Myrtle Have You Been Away only a
Month? Why, 1t Seems to Me More Than
a Year"
TN Not Anxious TO Sell the House,
But My Wife Wants TO Move out to One
of the Suburbs Where Her. Relations
Live"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
THE DREAMERs

Theodosla Garrison, in Harpers Maga-
zine.
The glpsies passed her little gate
She stopt her wheel to see
A brown faced pair who walked the road.
Free as the wind is free;
And suddenly her tidy room
A prison seemed to be.
Her shining plates against the walls,
Her sunlit,j sanded floor,
The brass bound wedding chest that held
Her linens snowy store, u
The very wheel whose huiJiining died.
Seemed only chains she bore
She watched the foot frfe gipsies pass;
She never knew or sues4ed
The wistful dream that 1rcw them close-v
The longing in each breest
To some day know a hkme like hers.
Whereinwherein their 4earts might rest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Music In Gndsden

"Gadsden will have decidedly credit
aple music festival this week. said a
member of the musical set who visits
Gadsden frequently.
Ihere will be chorus of about 2oO in
the FESTIVAL and this chorus has been ad-
mlrably trained. There will be two night
performances and matinee, and the
principal works rendered will be under the
baton of Mr.. Philip Memoli. Mr.. Memoirs
orchestral band will furnish the instru-
mental music"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
Pleasant Summers

Birmingham is blessed in its eli
mate. The winters here are usually
mild and. there is less excessive heat
in summer than in many cities of the
north.
After week of remarkably cool
nights the temperature has become
normal again. This is just the weather
to make cotton and>corn grow. Crops
need warm nights as well as hot DAYS
and those persons who have the habit
of complaining should not "fuss'
about the heat, for, after all, it is
seldom that nights in this valley are
unsleepable.
Faultfinders would enjoy life more
if they cultivated the spirit of op.
timism, especially about the weather
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

chances are it will be very popular
popular enough to keep the demo-
cratic party in power for some time.
At any rate, business is not going
to smash. With bumper crops assured
this summer will be one of genuine
prosperity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
Uncertain snort Fishing

''The fishing season has been rather
peculiar said devote OF the sport.
And it has caused some surprises and
many disappointments.
Some days there have been killings
made with the fly. at other times there
has been nothing doing in the same
waters, perhaps the very next day. Ihe
live bait proposition has not brought
the best results. Trout of some size
do not feed every day. The larger the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
GIVING PA AWAY.

''Mr. Goodly,' said the little boy to the
minister who was visiting his home. I'm
bet you don't know where papa is"
ooh, he's III town." answered the
preacher. Don't you remember your
mother told me that when came imp
in out in the back yard. When he saw
you at the gate he said, Here's where
beat itn"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
INEXPREssIBLY SAD.

Mrs. Pankhurst is said to be really quite
domestic in her tastes and makes the best
jam in England Think of it! A woman
with a gift like that impairs her health
by hunger strikes and probably shortens
a life that might be fraught with good
works. 1t is to weep, PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The fact that Imperator is larger than
the Titanic is not going to make her
builders have any fool notions as to her
indestructibfity. The fate of the Titanic
has taught them lesson
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

A southern colonel may or may not have
earned his title, out you can always tell
whether or not he is the genuine article
by the revereatial manner in which he
compounds a mint iulep.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The assertion of a successful novelist
that most novices are o-biosraphical
Will be received without question. Talk
ing about themselves seems to be fixed
habit with most literary persons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
Interesting Data ON Gettysburg


'I was very much interested in the
special illustrated article in the sec
ond days battle at Gettysburg said
a son of Confederate veterans, its
pen picture of carnage, heroism, and
pathetic incidents.
"I have been a close student of the
official reports of the Gettysburg cam
paign-both sides--as printed in the
Rebellion Records, and I cannot find
.Hampton's battery mentioned. I do
note that the Hampton Virginia bat
terry, Capt. w. II. Caskie, of Maj. James
bearings battalion, Pickett's division,
Longstreet's corps, participated in the
artillery duel preceding the memorable
charge on entreched Federals on Gem
etery Hill. The battalion had arrived
the evening before from Chambersburs.
1t occupied a position ON the crest of
a hill directly in front of the enemys
stronghold. On it's right was the Wash
ington artillery battery, with Colonel
Cabelrs battalion on It's left. Although
short of ammunition, it had few
rounds for rifled guns which were used
to enfilade a column of infantry which
had advanced on General Pickett's right
flank.
Gen. Wade Hampton commanded a
cavalry brigade of Gen. Jeb stuart
division. On July 2 the brigade engaged
the enemy between Hunterstown--
some five miles from Gettysburg-and
that town. In gallant charge, the
Federals were routed General Hamp-
ton says: I had no artillery at TINS
time, but two pieces were sent me and
they did good service
I'm desperate cavalry charge on
July and a and-to-hand fight in a.,
effort to extricate the First North
Carolina, Johnson's division, and the
Jeff Davis Legion of Hampton's COM
mand. General Hampton was severely
wounded. Gen. Fitzhugh Lees brigade
of cavalry occupied position on Hamp-
tons left
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
LITTLE ECONOMIES
From the Philadelphia Ledger.


A postage stamp will purchase you the
use of a dollar for 122 days. Three
stamps equal the interest on dollar for
one whole year. Little economies rarely
enter into the calculations of the average
man or woman--those who earn from $500
to $4,000 year.
Men who smoke cigars easily consume
three a day. costing not under 80 cents
enough to pay for the use of $lS25 for that
day! If that sls25 were put to work in an
intelligent way it might help win bread
for the rest of the family. 49,
A look at the baseball game from the
grand stand yesterday afternoon cost you
just as much as the use of $4560 would
have done for the entire day.
Big business never smokes nor does it go
to baseball games. Resources in large es-
Establishments are not spent that way
Those who operate big business may now
and then hire private car or sail y
yacht, but the business itself economics
down to the last rubber band. 1t couldn't
thrive otherwise. Mr.. Common Man
might take lesson from big business in
trivial economies. AS Franklin quoted:
"A penny saved is twopence clear;
A pin days a sroat a-year."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
AT THE "ARTo EXHIBIT.

what ON earth is the matter with that
man over there WHO is twisting his head
in every conceivable way?"
Nothing is wrong with him. He is SIM
ply trying to adjust his vision to the va
garies of Cubist picture"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

When sensational magazine publishes
an article about Oscar Underwood his
friends in this part of the country have
to read it twice 10 find out who is being
Ia liked about
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
LINCOLN ON WOMAN SUFFRAGE

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
A correspondent writes in to ask If ABB
raham Lincoln ever expressed. a direct
opinion for or against woman suffrage.
To which we gladly anwsei-, yes.
In letter which was perhaps the ear
liest formal statement of his political opin-
ions, Mr.. Lincoln said:
81 go for all sharing the privileges Of
the government who assist in bearing it's
burdens. Consequently, l go for admit
ting all whites to the right of suffrage
who pay taxes or bear arms. by no means
excluding females"
AS for the qualifying term ''all whites"
it is proper to note that the letter quoted
was written In 1896.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
WHAT IT WAS

From Everybody's.
The small boy was the first to answer
the Telephone. The person on the other
end Of the wire was friend of his moth
or. and the following conversation en-
sred: rs this Mrs. Blanks residence?"
mo, ma am; it's Mrs. Blanks little boy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
FAR REMOVED NOW.

"Dubbs comes from fine family
rs that so? Wei, he's evidently been
ON the way long time
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
MARY,s PET. Z

Mary had lit-,e dog
That followed her around,
But when she left its wee tag off
II got into the pound
Then all the neighoors chuckled, though
A heartless thing, no doubt,
And hoped she would not have the price
To get her doggie out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The head Of the Berlin police has Off
cially banned all freak dances. Berlin is
trying to acquire the reputation of being
q gay city. but the police are helping il
to be moral by preventing such suggestive
dances as the turkey trot," the bunny
hug the puppy snuggle,'' etc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

We are tired of reading fulsome praises
of the old fashioned clam bake 1t sure
ly can't be any greater tax on the diges-
tive organs than an old fashioned Dixie
barbecue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
GRASS IGNORANCE.

Il presume you are familiar with Bos
wells Johnson?'
Nope. | dont even know Boswell"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Anent Mr.. Roosevelts contemplated
trip to South America, some one has re-
marked that he seems determined to spend
that 6 cents, regardless.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Madame Bernhardt says she found some
people over here who spoke French very
well indeed. Probably late arrivals from
La Belle, France.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
LUCKY

know a certain pretty maid
Who has sucn winning ways,
At bridge I mean, her debts are paid
Most every time she plays.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The Frisco pullman porters are probu-
financial affairs Of the Frisco railroad. A
general shake Up and reduction of SAL
aries won't affect their tips.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
EXPLAINED.

THE maid sad you were out, yet saw
you at an upstairs window"
"She meant l vas out of sorts"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The so-called "see-niore" skirt, now SO
much affected, iuakes the peek boo
shirtwaist of ycsteryear seem modest ia
comparison
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

1t is almost a tragedy when a damsel
with a stunning figure lacks the means
to spend a week or two at the seashore
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Lobby hunts seems to be almost as fac-
cical as snipe hunting by the light of the
moon, the unsaspecting stranger being
left to hold the bag until morning.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The man who hopefully started a little
garden in the spring may not have much
to show for it now, but he probably feels
better in the vicinity of his liver.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
Orthodoxy and HetcrOdoxy

"Moncure D. Conway In his inter-
esting autobiography in two volumes'
gives charming glimpses of many ra-
nous men of Great Britain, said a
layman, but his comments on certain
we'll known characters must have pro-
voked no little dissent.
Conway was a free thinker and his
intimate associates were agnostics-
John Stuart Mill, Herbert Spencer, Hulk
ley, Carlyle and SO on. Conway was
not an admirer of Gladstone. In writ
ing about him he said: Gladstone
was the most famous orator of England
to the outside world, but his reputa-
ton was largely due to his limitations.
He uttered innumerable commonplaces
with an air of profhndity; and he
pleased the great mass by speeches that
were In large part preaching OF all
the great, says Conway, Gladstone was
the only one left at the time he was
writing, who seriously defended the
orthodox dogmas.
81 was surprised when I read man
of Conway's wide information and
knowledge of men making such state
ment as that. There are scores of dis
tinguished men in England today who
are known to be staunch believers in
orthodox religion. Lord Kelvin, one of
the greatest scientists the world has
ever produced-the greatest electrician
of the world, perhaps-was, like many
other highly educated Britishers, we'll
read in theology. He died recently and
throughout his long life he was one
of the staunchest defenders of the
Trinitarian dogma. He was an elder in
the Presbyterian church and made many
religious addresses which were felici-
tous and full of abiding faith in what
he professed.
among the great laymen of today
who are strong in their religious faith
are Arthur Balfour and Lord Halifax
of the Church of England, and the Duke
of Norfolk, who is not only Cath
Ollie but who takes an active public
part in Catholic matters. An address
of his, which he delivered at the
Eucharistic congress in London, was up
to a very high standard Of intellectual
achievement. 1t was distinctly scholar
w."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

The fond vacation plans of father are al
ways subject to revision by mother and
the girls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Universal peace may be a step nearer
than it was so years ago, but the assassin
plies his trade as indefatigably as of
yore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
JUST BEFORE THE CLOSE.

There was a certain minister
Whose sermons were so long,
70 wake his consr egation up
He had to use a. gong.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
ADRIFT WITH THE TINES
DISCOURAGED.

This life is no bed of roses,
Certainly not. Tor me it isn't even a
bed of turnips." @t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
TAKEN ON TRuSr

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
Are these good cantalopes?'
'Yes'm.
Are you sure?'
Reas 1nably 50, mum. OF course, ths,
amt guaranteed by no trust company"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

A move to smash the kodak trust look s
like direct slarn at the great American
outing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
A STRIKING EXAMPLE.

"Pa, what is an altruist?"
An altruist, my son, IS a man who has.
to walk, yet bears no i'll Will toward peo-
pie who ride in automobiles"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
YRANNY.
STRANGE.

I've never known a sailor bold
Who didn't seem to be
So fresh you'd think he'd never sailed
Upon the salty sea.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17
INVITING FRIENDSHIP.

INVITING FRIENDSHIP.
tContributed)
Would you earn my appreciation?
Do exactly as / say. "a
Let my wants rule your endeavors.
Worship, initiate, OBEY!
BE careful not To hurt my feelings;
Praise my evsry utter'd thought!
If you do but this, why really
You are doing what you ought
Furthermore. if it should happen
That / want to make u touch,''
Quickly open up your check-bool,
Meekly asking he How much?'
However, | must warn you
Not to show an utter lack
vi courtesy by eudely asking:
FRIEND, when do | set it back?'
Lei me set your every fashion.
How to dress and what to drink:
What to cat aud where to gambol
How toSwalk and sleep and Think
Bless your soul, il you will only
Be my faithful, willing slave.
Some day ! may really, truly
Drop tear upon your gravel
ID. L. Lundstrom.
1fANNN.
"Well, sir, explain where you< have
been.'
MY dear, wait until morning. I'll ex-
plain them
NO sir! 1t would be much easier for
|you to explain in the morning. | wans
an explanation now."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.
postoffice as second class matter under
act OF Congress March ), 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Daily ana sunday Age Herald. =. $500
Daily and Sunday. per month";. 40
Daily and Sunday. three months. 2.OO
Weekly ge-Herald. per annum.. .oO
sunday Age-Herald. 200
Subscriptions payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
Ing.
European bureau. Henrietta street.
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms As TO
SO, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business office
Tribune building, Chicago. The y. q.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for'
eign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

w. II. Overbey and *. j. Eaton, 5r,
are the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
eulation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-06-17

No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose
Remittances can be made at current
ra te of exchange. The Age-Herald Wall
not be responsible fer money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala