The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1913-03-05


telling any such story as that looks
like boys play. Don't you Talt some
bread and butter with suS.r on it:
You never 90 down cellar that you
don't leave a blaze of light behind you.
That's where the gas has gone. You
are the most careless man in the
world around the house. Let me hear
no more about Amanda's extravaganza.
Now. about this repainting:"
The house is to have two coats. and
l am going to do the work myself.
calculate it Will take me two weeks"
"Well, don't calculate it will take
you two minutes. The house doesn't
need it. and 20 painting will be done.
If you were to daub around here for
two weeks your own wife and half Of
the neighbors would commit suicide"
What. l can't paint my own house
if want to- he shouted as he got up
and began to prance around.
His Mother-in-Iaw Scores.
"My language was plain. sir! Sit
down before you get crick in the
back. There will not only be no paint
ing done. but if you want to raise sun
flowers and hollyhocks. 90 and hire a
piece of vacant ground. I do not ad-
mire them. and as I may be here all
summer l object to having them
around
"She may be here all summer" he
groaned to himself.
"Having disposed Of the hollyhocks
and the sunfowers. We will take up
housecleaning." I continued.
Amanda will see to that and take
about three days. and while she is
doing it you can either eat off the
kitchen table and sleep on the floor
and behave yourself or 90 to some
hotel"
by thunder. woman, ~
THAT will do. Mr.. Bowser! Don't
swear at me and don't call me WON
am, You are red in the face. and
your ears are twitching. but it will do
no good to get mad. am the mother
u-tdW. l dm IL!
"Woman, this is too much. too much
I'd like to know
"You will know all as We go along.
Mr.. Bowser. If you are not very care
full Of your emotions you will tumble
down with apoplexy some day. And
now about the dresSmaker. l shall
go after ber the first thing In the
morning. Her prices are velJ reason
able, and if they weren't it Is not up
to you to kick If you want a seven
dollar box of cigars. you order them
without a qualm. It will be 81 per
day for about two weeks, and she
won't need your assistance with the
darning needle!
He Is Quieted.
Il am told that you have borrowed q
gun and are going to the country to
shoot snipe at night. In the first place
you couldn't hit barn at ten rods; in
the next, snipe don't fly at night; in the
| third. that gun will be trotted home in
the morning. If there is any running
| around nights you can run to the thea
ter with Mrs. Bowser. What were you
going to sayT
II was going to say, woman" be
thickly replied as he failed his arms
| about was going to say that my
name is Bowser."
Yes"
And this is my house"
"Yes."
"And 1 run things to suit myself
What right have you to come down
here and-and"-
"The right OF the mother-in-law, sir
and that's the best right in the world
One more thing this evening. You were
saying you'd drop over to the What Is
1t club for a couple Of hours. Well
you won't drop. They will miss you
and they'll be inquiring why is it. But
let 'em inquire. Your place Is right
here, and here you will stay.
II am going up to join Amanda DOW
who is a bit nervous, and If you 80 to
banging doors, rafting the furnace OF
stamping up and down you'il hear from
me. You may think it good time to
mend the water pipes, fix a door, ex'
pertinent on the gas meter or drive
nails, but let me assure you to the COD
trary. These few words this e--entne
are only a sort Of prologue. Tomor'
row we will get down to real business
I and have thorough understanding"
I vanished upstairs. and Mr.. BowseI
shook his fist after me and tramped
around for the next ten minutes like an
angry hon. He didn't know whether te
burst out a window or break three OF
| four chairs, but at last he flung himself
down on the lounge to think 1t all over
| An hour later his wife and l came
creeping softly upstairs. We found
! him asleep and a tear on his cheek
| while the eat occupied a nearby chair
and regarded him with looks Of sorrow
| RampageouS BowSer had been quieted.
(. |! ! 7
+ A Sign. !