The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-09-18

I-)<O
Twas Casey. ye know. wint into
business, an he bought a livery stha-
BILE an had a painter make a sign fr
tn front. showing him gallant astride
q mule Twill advertise said Casey.
Along came F%innegan.
"''Tis a foine picture?' asked Ca
sey.
Sure said F%innegan: its a loik-
ness. But who tn divvle is tn man
on yer back?'"
No amount Of persuasion or pun
running away. The excitement Of be-
ing pursued and of being brought
back to a fearful family appealed to
his sense of the dramatic and offset
h slight discomfort that sometimes
followed.
Finally his mother determined up
on a new method. She decided. after
many misgivinEs. that the next time
johnnie ran away no notice Whatever
should be taken of it. He should stay
away as long as he pleased and re-
turn when he saw At.
In a few days the youngster asain
disappeared. His mother was firm in
her resolve and no search was made.
Great was poor Johnnie's disappoint-
ment. He managed t stay all day,
but when it began to grow dark his
courage failed and he started for
home. He sneaked ignominiously into
the kitchen. Nobody spoke to him.
Apparently his absence had not been
noticed. This was too much. AS soon
as opportunity offered he remarked
casually: We'll. I see you've got the
same old cat"
"Hoot. mon," said Christie Melon
aid, the charming spring maid, we've
got Ave echoes in Scotland, but they
Gamma beat your American liars. An
American and a Highlander were
walking one day on the top Of one Of
the Scotch mountains. The Scotch
man. wishing to impress the visitor,
produced A famous echo to be heard
in this place. When the echo return
ed clearly after nearly four minutes
the proud Scotchman, turning to the
Yankee, exclaimed:
There. mon. ye Gamma show any
thing like that in your country
T which the other replied: I
guess we can better that. Why. in
my camp in the Rockies when go
to bed I Just lean out Of the window
and call out: Time { get up; wake
up" and eight hours afterward the
echo m back and wakes me-"
Yes" said the retired insurance
agent, 81 once got a man to take out
q $4,000 life policy only the day be-
fore he was killed. and it took a lot Of
coaxing to do it,"
"Gosh!~that was rough on the com.
pany. / expect YOU wished your per-
suasive powers had not beer 30 sue
cessful!!"
Well. hardly. You see. 1 married
the widow"
How was your speech received at
the club?" asked one Of Chuniey's
friends.
why. they congratulated me very
heartily. In fact one Of the members
came to me and told me that when I
sat down he had said to himself II
was the best thing I had ever done"
A medical student asked a famous
surgeon: What did you operate IN
that man for?"
surgeon. '"e
Yes, I know that" said the stu
dent. II mean what did the man
have?" "'
Two hundred dollars" replied the
surgeon. Wv
governor William G. Mcdonald OF
New Mexico remarked at q recent
that no matter now serious
the p~redfcament he may be in. the
average American rarely ever forrets
his sense of humor.
some m ago., the governor said,
q burglar was caught in the act Of
sao1ng TO his riches in one Of the big
cues ana arrested. On the following
morning he Wal hailed before q ma1.
istrate. mag
80 your name is Jones'" said the
MAGISTRATE, asking the usual uues-
ton: Have you any occupetion?"
Yes, sir was the unruff]ed re-
sponse Of the burglar. II am a iocE:
smith by trade. Yer honor"
"A locksmith. eh?" repeated IN.
mss i What were you doing
"nen the police entered the h~ouse?"
promptly answered the burglar. .y
was making a bolt for the door"
When 2 conceited youth gets mar.
ried he feels sorry for a lot Of other
girls. ''"eF
ne is a poor salesman who cOuldn't
sell ice cream soda in a female sem.
mary town.
It's easier to follow the crowd than
II Is to get well up in front and help
raise the dust.
A Brooklyn woman has been al
lowed 81 a week alimony. All she
required, of course, was the means
to support herself in the manner to
which she had become accustomed.
If Mother is. a great church worker.
It's q sign Father doesn't. do much ia
that line. The children need some at