davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
THOSE ARMY SONGS

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
A servant leaves your house without no.
tice. but you can neither shoot her nor
even imprison her. Let a soldier deeamp
when out on the firing line, and Uncle
sam may or may not execute him as a
deserter, just as the court martial de-
cides.
Some of the Cardiac songs do sound
DIT rough when SUNG in Washington, but
they weren't written in a Walnut street
parlor soldier 10000 miles from home
fighting an ugly war for his country and
against people he hardly understands,
wants strong meat in his music.
Strong medicine is handed out to him
for every infraction. and SO he admins
ters the water cure to treacherous foes
who pretend one minute to be friendly
and the next smite with a bolo
1t may CRATE upon your nerves as you
lounge in leather upholstered chair al
your club to think of our sailors and
soldiers going about "cvilizing the Fill
Pine with krag."
But, bless your soul, didn't your own
great grandfather civilize the Indians
with his fintlock and torch? The state
of Pennsylvania paid many a SIS for one
Indian scalp, when the scalp came from
a warrior, but a smaller amount If 1t had
adorned the head of an Indian woman
or child.
That doesn't seem to lessen your pride
in the Colonial Danes or prevent your
Boosting of your frontier ancestor who
shot an Indian as he would a panther.
For curiosity and comparison l have
read over book Of war songs-civil war
songs. know many men who helped to
sing them in the sixties.
1 cannot recommend all the words of
a good many of them for Sunday school
IMPOSES, but we have General Sherinans
word for it that war is not vesper SER
vice.
Well hang jeff Davis on a sour apple
treev'
Not only was that sung by 100000 SOL
diers, but by 100000 women and children
at home. And | notice that the boys in
gray" who marched with Longstreet and
Stonewall Jackson gave back, in the song
line as good as they received.
But that's war.
| regret to say, moreover, that when
President Wilson was president of Prince
ton, had ne listened sharply he might
have heard some song literature that was
not more classic in its illusions than the
Cara bao songs to which he so strongly OBJ
jects.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
he Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
What has become of the old fashioned
man whose Adams apple looked like a
knot in a rope, and who wore his collar
down over his shoulder blades so you
could see the apple work up and down?
After we get it we find that we don't
want a thing nearly as badly as we
thought we did
If man would work as hard to hold
a job as he does to get it he would soon
be in business for himself.
1t has got so nowadays that a man
doesn't worry about having a good con-
science as long as he has good lawyer
Advice is rich stuff. / takes boozer
to warn you away from. booze and it
takes a man who is all crippled up with
rheumatism
The Uplift is another great stunt. The
Social Center lads meet at a banquet at
SIS per plate and listen to six or eight
speeches and then decide that man
who permits the high cost of living to
get half Nelson on his ten bucks per
week is a fool.
Give woman a good husband, a good
home, an automobile, good cook, a
new set of furs and a pianola, and she
will bawl her eyes out and be very I'M
happy because the rug in the front room
doesn't match the wall paper.
Cheer up. There is always something
to be thankful for. 1t may be frosty
overhead and slushy underfoot, but the
streets are not all cluttereds UP with
burnt sienna elbows and canal boat
white shoes.
The old fashioned man who used to
try to kill the umpire, now has son
who tries to tell the owners how to
run the home team.
Solomon must have been wise man,
What would you do for excuses IL about
ESQ of your 500 wives wanted to know
where you We're last night when you
crawl in about daylight?
Give them credit. fellows. Maybe the
reason why they don't thank us when
we offer them a seat in a street car Is
because they are speechless with as
constituent.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
THE PASSING OF MALARIA.

From the journal of the American
Medical Association.
At a meeting of the Royal Colonial
institute in London, recently, DIR. NAL
colin Watson gave an account of his
work in the prevention of malaria in
the federated Malay states. He showed
that pool-breeding mosquitoes could be
abolished by open drainage. that
stream-b breeders could not be so abolished,
but required drainage, and that coun-
tries with no hil1-stream breeders had
no hill malaria. He described investi-
cations which he had carried out in
other parts of the world where malar-
ious conditions more or less prevailed.
in the Duars at the foot of the Him
alyas, and in the Jevpore hills in Ma
dras; in Sumatra, Panama, British
Guiana and Barbados, and declared
that the new knowledge had given abb
solute control over the malaria of low,
fat land. and high hopes of control
over that in hill land. There was
also every hope of abolishing malaria
from rice fields. He believed that the
prevention of malaria, the Improvement
in health of the agriculturist and the
cultivation of the land We're all init
mately connected and that what helped
the one would improve the other. The
enormous commercial value of the con-
troll or prevention, of malaria in tropical
countries will be appreciated by all fa-
miliar with conditions in these focali-
ties
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
MIR. Weeks Attitude

II will vote for this bill (the cur
sency measure) because it is 70 per
sent good and only 25 per cent bad"
said Mr.. Weeks of Massachusetts, a
republican.
Was such a fact consideration to
Er. Penrose, Mr.. Root, Mr.. Smoot
and nearly all the others of their
party? Not at all. They looked upon
the Owen bill as a child of the dem
ocrats, to be berated, assaulted, kicked
and assaulted, whether it had merit or
lacked it.
Messrs. Crawford and Jones voted
for the bill on final passage. These
two were ardent insurgents in the
days of Taft. Mr.. Norris voted for it.
He is the man who, while member of
the House, introduced the famous
resolution stripping Joe Cannon of his
power.
Mr.. Sterling, like Mr.. Weeks and
Mr.. Norris, are new corners to the
Senate. They have not yet lear..ed
that it is quite the thing to oppose all
legislation, however meritorious,
merely because it is initiated and fur
thered by another party.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
HAD A REASON

From the Philadelphia Telegram.
That you can't lose the waiter party
who slides you your daily hash was dem
onstrated by a story told by Herbert
QUICK, the author, at recent banquet.
Some time ago, so ran the story, an
esteemed citizen who was a regular pat
ron at a metropolitan restaurant, called
the waiter to him at the conclusion of
his lunch
See here Alphonse," said he, instead
of tipping you at every meal l am going
to bunch 1t up and give it to you In a
lump at Christmas What do you think
about it?''
1T would suit me very well, sir" an
swereo Alphonse, just trine doubtfully.
But would you object to paying me a
little in advance sir?"
''1All right" acquiesced the esteemed cit
izen digging into his jeans, here is a
dollar on account. l suppose you need
the coin or else you are afraid that my
memory will fail me-"
ooh, no, sirl' explained the waiter. 1T
isn't that, sir! You see, am leaving here
today, sir"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
ON BEING A POLITICAL SAGE
By BILL. VINES

WIAsHINGToN, December p.
w (Special)-Way back yonder
before we got SO alfred pro-
gressive, according to history, many of
our great men when they got up about
65 or 70 years of age, usually retired
from politics and other activities and
settled down quietly at some country
home and became sages. While we had
rather be drawn and quartwed any time
than have the crime of being a reac-
tionary charged against us, and we are
as vociferous as anybody else in SOL
EMMY affirming that we are progress
sive," we would like to say in passing
that We regard it great pity that the
sage" business seems to have dropped
somewhat in disfavor in these days and
times.
We know several of our great states
men, who are getting along about the
age that our forefathers used to think
proper to retire from the limeight, and
get right down to saying as a steady
occupation who we believe would make
first rate sages, as sages so.
Take Uncle Joe Cannon, for instance;
Uncle Joe, SO far as age is concerned,
ought to have accumulated at least 10
years experience in the sage business by
this time, but instead of that he is run
ming around attending meetings of the
late republican party's national COM
mittee, and emitting loud walls about
the awful plight business is in all over
the country under a democratic admin
istration. Uncle Joe is even thinking
about running for Congress again, and
1t maybe that the old rascal will be
elected. Now If someone could show
Uncle Joe the advantages to be derived
from being sage and a philosopher,
he might repent and not infict himself
upon the country and Congress again,
and think what a sage he would be-
The advantage of being a sage has evil
IDENTIFY been lost sight of. So long as a
statesman stays in active political life
he is bound to have opposition and be
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
Impressed with Building Activity

L have been greatly impressed with
Birminghams building activity in the
matter of large structures in the busi-
ness district" said e. f. Day of St.
Louis.
when l was here about three years
ago I was wondering why there were
no large fireproof modern hotels.
see now that a magnificent 12-story
hotel is being built and that right OPP
posite beautiful eight-story concrete
hotel is nearing completion. 1 predict
that within the next three or four
years one or two more spacious fire
proof hotels will be built
Birmingham has a large number of
handsome office buildings and the
2a-story structure is not only hand
some but model in all its appoint
ments.
Il was first in this city Is years ago.
There was not a single steel frame
building here then. Birmingham has
been phenomenal in its growth and it
will continue to grow at rapid
rate"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22

Berlin Correspondence New York Sun.
Westphalia, in Prussia, is the home of
the sausage. There, it is said. a trader
will name no fewer than 400 different
kinds of sausage. A sausage exhibition
was held recently In Germany, at which
1000 varieties of sausages were shown.
In this connection the story is told of a
young Prussian who though he had re-
eeived an expensive training as chem
ist, shut himself up in his laboratory,
and instead of devising a new dye, safety
match, motor engine, explosive, aero
plane or Photographic lens, took pork,
veal, olives, pepper, fennel old wine,
cheese, apples, cinnamon and herrings'
roe and from them evolved a wonderful
and totally original "wurst," the best of
it's kind. He has amassed considerable
fortune from it's sale.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
The Christmas Seal Sale

The sale of Christmas seals for the
benefit of the anti-tuberculosis work
in jefferson county has been con-
Quoted quietly, but it is understood
the results have been very encour-
aging. The sale will end on Christmas
eve. 1t is hoped that many thousands
of the little tokens will be disposed
of during those three days.
The jefferson county anti-tubercu-
losis association, which has already
accomplished much with its limited
revenue, will be able to do more dur
ing the coming year if the response To
the appeal for funds is anything like
as generous as the officers and direc-
tors of the association have a right to
expect.
Since the association was formed
there has been an earnest educational
campaign, and the people of this COM
munity are beginning to appreciate
the fact that this organized anti
tuberculosis movement is more in the
nature of defense than of charity. But
no matter how the cause may be
viewed-whether as defense or philaa.
thropy-aid should be liberal in this
Christmas-tide.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22

taistas. Then he seizes their property
and tells them to vamoose. The Ter
razas and the Creels were among the
more well-to-do of the families of
Chihuahua. In fact, until few days
ago they were worth millions and mil
lions of dollars. All their properties
have been confiscated by Villa.
As to the Spaniards expelled from
the state by Villa, he declares they
had expressed themselves as favoring
intervention by the United States, and
had otherwise mixed themselves up in
politics in a manner pernicious and
But he does not COM
pletely close the door of hope. All
those who are able to prove that they
have not been unduly active will be
permitted to return and Unidentified
for their losses.
This is most magnanimous of Gen
eral Villa. He takes their property
without hearing, and if they can
prove themselves innocent of some
thing for which they have never been
tried they can have it back.
And the Carranzaistas are known
as the "constitutionalists."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22

The steamship Prinz Joachim, of the
Hamburg american Atlas line, came
into port at New York a few days ago
with its cabins and companionways
gayly decorated with giant croton
plants, some of them eight and ten feet
in height. The brilliant tropical fol-
iage gave the ship a festive appear
ance in keeping with the approaching
holiday season. 1t has long been the
practice of the boats commander, Can
tain Tarnow, to take aboard fresh Gro :
ton plants at Port Limon, Costa RIGA,
where the Prinz Joachim calls once a
month. On arriving in New York, the
plants are sent to botanical gardens
where they are replanted to regain the
bright colors they lost on the trip
Small croton plants are often seen in
florists windows in New York, says
the Journal of Commerce, but none so
tall as those brought here on the Prinz
Joachim. Captain Tarnow obtains his
supply from the private garden of a
priest at Port Limon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
Looking to the New Year

Pessimists are not so numerous in
the business world as was the case a
month or two ago." said William w.
Antrim of Chicago
Most of the alarmists or calamity
howlers have been found in New York.
believe. In Chicago most business
men are optimists even If trade is dull.
was in New York 10 days ago, and
found the feeling better there. Friends
met spoke, as rule, hopefully of
business in 1914. We are now in the
holiday season and of course no one
expects any activity on a large scale
until about the middle of January.
"The governments recent crop esti-
mates We're calculated to make a buoy
ant feeling in trade circles. With such
fine crops as this country has made
and with the high prices which the
farmers have received, it will take lit
tie to start up great era of prosper
ity The final passage of the currency
Dill will help, no doubt; but nothing
Will do as much to bring about re-
vival of activity in almost every
branch of business as favorable action
by the interstate commerce commits
sion on the petition of the eastern
carriers for permission to advance
freight rates per cent"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
MAKING NEW PAYMENTS OUT OF
OLD ONES

Many miles of old granite-paved
streets, worn and furrowed by years of
traffic are being transformed into fine
automobile thoroughfares as smooth as
table tops, by the simple expedient of
fling the interstices with concrete
grouting, and flowing semiliquid cement
over the paving. Instead of the old
method of treating street surfaces with
tar mixture, Cincinnati has rejuyen-
ated old pavements, worn by Is years
heavy travel, until they are in fine con-
dition to withstand heavy traffic for an
indefinite period. The January number
of Popular Mechanics magazine con-
tains description, with illustrations,
of this simple and economical method
of treating worn pavements
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22

subjected to much adverse criticism. But
after he becomes old, and retires on his
reputation he is credited with much wis
dom, and as a sage he enters field
where there is absolutely no competition
II he remains in politics and let's out
job lot of yelps about disastrous lesisla-
ton and "panics" he is set down as a
peevish old fossil; If he retires to his
estate and occasionally gets into the
newspapers with a new lot of epierams.
and long and meaningless spasm about
political economies, of which he knows
nothing, and everybody else less, he soon
establishes a reputation as PHILOSOPHER
and first rate sage.
We know several statesmen now active
in American politics who we would be
glad to vote for to become sages 1t is
a field of endeavor that has too long
been neglected, and we are strong for a
reviewed interest We believe 1t would
be in keeping with our progressive poll
tics to pass "a law that after a man
reached certain geographically If lie is
a politician, that he be forced to retire
and become a sage There is absolutely
no danger Of OVERRIDING the sage bust
ness-at present there is not a single one
at large in the United States. We have
some line timber in the United States
senate for sages, and if such a piece of
legislation could be gotten through a
very fine nuclus for a herd of sages could
be obtained right in the Senate cham
Der.
This is just little idea of our own
which we thought of ourselves and
which we advance with some timidity.
Nevertheless we commend it to the
thoughtful consideration of the people,
and If 1t strikes a popular chord. we
might run for some office using this
idea as a platform
1t is not our purpose to poke fun at
people of advanced age-not at all-on
the contrary we want them put in place
where fun will not be poked at them.
We know of no safer occupation than
being a sage. Then, too. It sounds per-
fectly respectable.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
TELEPLASMA

From the Worcester Telegram.
If you see quantity of teleplasma
you may be pretty sure that it is the
markings of a ghost. 1t Is a new word,
or Whereabouts. DIR. Won Schrenck Not
zing of Berlin, who is rated as an ex
pert in psychical research, has written
a book to prove that ghosts are COM
posed of tangible material. Still the doc
tor does not believe in spooks of the
kind you are thinking about. His are
material ghosts made of material sub
stances, and he calls the compound
teleplasma. You might think 1t was
smoke or cobwebs floating through the
air, but the doctor does not bother
with that kind of materia1ism. He has,
with others, been taking photographs
of a woman medium while she was
demonstrating her calling, and 1t is
claimed that the nine cameras all
showed that substance like smoke or
fine cobwebs formed about the woman
and might be imagined In the forms of
human beings, and that IL what makes
ghosts. That is called spirit matter. and
named teleplasma, which, presumably,
puts it into the telephone class or fam
lily, 1T being of human creation or de-
livery at least. The doctor does not
claim that 1t has any supernatural
origin. He is waiting for more evidence,
and may later find that She has been
fooled by the clever use of chemicals
which in the human body warmth pro-
duce his substance of smoke or cob
webs and makes shapes before the ca
meras, but he can call 1t teleplasma
right along just the same, and others
can call 1t ghost if they prefer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
EARTHQUAKES FORM HOLE IN BOT
TOM OF SEA.

From Popular Mechanics.
A hole nearly a mile deep was formed
in the bottom of the sea off the coast of
Panama by the recent Central Amer
lean earthquakes, according to appar-
emily authentic reports. AS a result of
these earthquakes a submarine cable
was broken, and a cable ship was sent
out to make repairs. The ends of the
cable were found to be buried under
enormous masses of material, and,
where the government charts published
in 1904 showed a depth of 1000 feet,
soundings made from the cable ship
found depth of 5000 feet This re-
markable depression is located off Los
Santos province, about 10 miles from
the mainland, and is about half a mile
wide.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
HOW TO BECOME A WRITER

BY Coningsby Dawson in the New York
7 sun.
CrIck at it; that's the first rule. Stick
at it intelligently; that's the second.
~ Stick at it. believing in your own
worth no matter how other people may
discourage YOU that's the third. And |
might add fourth, don't get hungry for
money; anyone can get money. If the
getting of money is your sole aim youll
get death.
Becoming a writer is like becoming an
architect. lawyer. doctor; like joining
any one of the skilled professions 1t
takes years of work to accomplish pro-
fioiency let alone perfection. You'd think
man fool If, coming straight out of
college and seeing the Metropolitan tower
he said "Ha, I'll be an architect. I'll
build a tower in Chicago exactly like
that" You'd know at once that he
couldn't He'd have to spend IA years in
learning how. Put any young person who
has read Thackeray. possesses an admir-
ing family and has access to paper and
pen, thinks that to be a successful writer
all the equipment necessary is the de-
sire. hdhe no iHistahe ABOUT III, ue-
sire's only the egg from which the bird
may ultimately be Matched.
Mothers have often said to me: II wish
you'd give Jessie little encouragement.
I'm sure she could write. She covers
reams of paper when the moods on her.
Yes and probably she never corrects.
Tell me that she wastes hours in search
ing for one right word and I'll believe
there's hope for her. When Jacob was
dying he prophesied of Reuben. I'm
stable as water thou shalt not excel"
It's the instability of most would
lie writers that bars them from excel
lenoe. At times they have the fatal flu
ency of water and can tear off pages and
RACES of unconsidered words, but they
haven't the divine perseverance to stick
at it till they've clothed their ideas with
their highest possible best
A man can only speak out of his own
experience. / published books, nnumer-
able articles and short stories before L
had the first glimmerings of success. At
20 1 was partly supporting myself by
journalism; my first printed appearance
was at the age of IA. My first volume
was one of poetry, issued by the Mac
milan company. 1 was advised to try a
novel, because my poems were supposed
to have the dramatic quality. When writ
ten it was refused by the publisher who
in England, only to sell something short
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-22
ONLY ONE THING WRONG

From the Baltimore Sun.
Harry Lauder told an amusing story
the other day of two Glasgow women
who met in the street and began to dis
cuss the domestic affairs of a newly mar
ried couple
Aye, Mrs. McTavish,' said one. $50
Jeannie's got mariet."
She has that. Mrs. Alpine, replied
the other.
AN how's she getun on?'. the first
woman wanted to know.
"Oh, no sac bad at a." was the re-
ply. There's only one thing the mat
ter. She thinks she could haze got better