Evening star., 1913-03-01
At the End Of the Rainbow.
SCIENTIFIC ESSNORk.
BY Walt Mason.
BY Walt Mason.

II should think you'd get tired read
ing these topheavy books volunteered
the low-browed man. Why don't YOU
get a good detective story and get some
enjoyment out of your reading?"
Life is too short to waste the golden
moments reading trash,'' replied the pro-
fessor. 1T would have been an excellent
thing for YOU had YOU been trained to
appreciate good books You have some
faint glimmerings of intelligence. and
had they been properly cultivated You
might now be a reasonably interesting
man. Here is wonderful work on as
tronomy. I'll lend it to you if you'll
promise to read it, hoping that it may
lift your thoughts from the plane of
crime and pugilism.'
Il don't want your old sky directory,
professor and I'm not as ignorant as
you think Every once In a while my
Aunt Julia has "a spasm and decides that
we must have instructive literature In
the house Then she borrowS dreary Ola
books at the public library and reads
them aloud to me night after night. when
am suffering to be down at the drug
store playing checkers. Only a little
while ago. after attending a meeting OF
her culture club. she went dlppy on
the subject of astronomy and got lot
OF BOOKS ana READ tne1i u ire plitiI
thought seriously of suicide. You can
say what YOU please. but those astrono-
mers don't know as much about the stars
as / do They are worse than a gang
of alienists in a murder trial. They can t
agree about anything. and | don't see
how any man can read their dope for
months together without becoming looi-
ish.
"In one of the books my aunt read 1t
was pointed out conclusively that the
h4
up there know more in a minute than we
do in a hundred years. Our biggest IN
ventions would raise a horse laugh on
Mars The faker who wrote the book
talked exactly as though he had spent
summer on that planet interviewing
leading citizens and stopping at the best
hotels. He described everything as
though he had made notes on the spot.
like the reporter of the Weekly baZoo'
and l confess that his story was interest
ing. He told about a lot OF canals up
there, just as though he had sailed on
them in a canal boat. or whacked the
mules along the towpath. Aunt Julia
read that book one night until her voice
caved in and we both thought there
was nothing in the same class with as
tronomy. | swore off on nickel novels
right there, and made up my mind TO
read up on the stars until knew the
family history of every one.
"All the next day | was thinking about
Mars and wondering If 1t would ever
be possible to go up there and ride on
the merry-go-r rounds, and l could hardly
wait until night came. l was so eager 10
hear some more OF the yarn. Or course,
supposed it was all true. That was
what made 1t so interesting. Had
supposed for a moment that it was just
plain summer fiction it wouldn't nave
held me at all. for when L read hction
1 want a detective in it.
We'll. the librarian had some special
use for that book and sent for it. so aft
er supper Aunt Julia picked UP another
book on astronomy and began reading
another story about Mars. And lH be
hanged If this story didn't contradict
the, other one up and down and cross
wise. Tho gold brick scientist VINO wrote
it said that nothing could be more alb
surd than the theory that Mars Is In
habited. The atmosphere up there Is so
thin that man would have to be all
lungs to be able to breathe. The canal
story was a mere pipe dream and the
whole planet was a total loss without
a living creature on it. l lost interest in
the whole business then and there, and
told my aunt that IL she read any more
such flapdoodle to me she would nave TO
get somebody else to milk the cows Tor
I'd resign my PORTFOLIO
Yet they call that sort OF thing
science, and a man is supposed to be i'm
proving his mind when he reads it. l
never did have any respect Tor science.
There's that new veterinarian. DOC
Dingle He's a graduate of two or three
colleges and he can't physic sick COW
without quoting the Latin poets and
showing off all his knowledge. but old
Doolittle knows more about doping
horses and cattle than Dingle ever heard
II don't like to hear man mixing
up cows and planets in this reckless
way" sighed the professor. 1t strains
my intellect to follow YOU"