davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Auntle ObIlqed.

Johnnie, the Office boy, is as in
genious in his excuses as he is pro-
life with them. One day he showed
up an hour late for about the sixth
time that month. While being repri-
manded Johnnie exclaimed:
But you will have to excuse me,
Mr.. Thompson, for / had to see my
mother off on the nine o'clock train;
she's gone to New York to visit for
a month"
Two days after Johnnie came in an
hour late again, but anticipated Mr..
Thompson by rushing into the latter s
private office and exclaiming:
90, Mr.. Thompson, the stork left
me baby sister at our home this
morning"
Indeed" sarcastically exclaimed
Mr.. Thompson, land your poor moth
er away down in New York, too!"
20, that's nothing" answered John
ME. my Aunt Sophie was at home
when the stork brought the baby"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
W. N. U., Oklahoma City, No. a2-te1s.
MURPHY HELPED KEEP HOUSE
His Work Not Altogether Perfect, but
Probably on a Par With That
of Most Men.

Murphy's wife was i'll. So Murphy
for he was only newly welded
decided, on completing his days work,
to try to make himself generally use
full in the house.
Accordingly, he bought . pound of
bacon and a pound of soap, and set
about, so he thought, to prepare
savory meal for his ailing wife.
The latter, however, even on her
bed of sickness, detected the ensuing
smell, and shifted at 1t wonderingly.
Then, as the odor grew stronger
and more unpleasant, she hastened to
the kitchen as quickly as she could,
and:
What are you doing, Murphy" she
inquired.
"Cookin' bacon" came the blunt re-
ply.
Bacon, man! Why, that's soap!"
Then, bedad," exclaimed the Irish
man, 'I must have washed me shirt
wild the bacon.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
MUCH WORK YET TO BE DONE
Need Of Provision for Care Of Tuber-
eulosis Patients Pointed Out by
National Association.

Nevada, Utah Wyoming and Missis-
sippi are the only states in the United
States which have made no hospital
or sanatorium provision for consump-
tives, says the National Association
for the Study and Prevention of Tu-
berculosis in a bulletin. At the same
time the association asserts that,
while there are $4,000 beds for tuber-
culosis patients in other states, this
number is very inadequate, hardly
more than one for every eight or ten
needy patients being provided. Some
states have less than 30 beds, and in
not a single one is there a sufficient
number available.
The bulletin points that, although
the death rate from tuberculosis has
declined steadily for the last 25 years,
a marked increase in hospital and
sanatorium beds must be made before
rate of even 4 or deaths per 1000
population can be reached. At the
present time the city death rates in
this country range from 8 or 8
per 1000 living to as high as 35 or 40,
with the average around Is or 16, ac-
cording to the latest reports of the
bureau Of the census.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
IN PAIN WITH HEMoRRHOIDS

Bissell, Ala.-'I was troubled for
several years with protruding hemor-
rhoids. They caused pain of the most
severe kind and some loss Of blood.
They were SO infamed that the touch
Of anything against them was most
intense agony. l got no rest nights
and had to have my legs and feet
propped up in the bed.
Il tried all kinds Of advertised
cures, and 1 was told that an opera
ton was the only relief. l suffered
untold agony. 1 saw the advertise
ment of Cuticura Soap and Ointment
and sent for a sample. l tried 1T and
then procured box Of Cuticura Soap
and Cuticura Ointment. l was cured
sound and we'll in three weeks time.
A cake of Cuticura Soap and two boxes
of Cuticura Ointment accomplished
what all else failed to do" (Signed)
L. r. Cook, Nov. 12, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample OF each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
COCA COLA HABIT, A GHOST.

We have all heard of ghosts, but none
OF us have ever seen one. It's the same
way with coca cola "fiends;" you can
hear about them but you might search
for them until doom's day and you
would never find one. Physicians who
have treated hundreds of thousands Of
drug-habit cases, including opium, NOR
phine, cocaine, alcohol, etc, say that
they have never seen a case where the
use Of Coca-Cola has so fastened itself
upon the individual as to constitute
habit in the true sense Of the word. AL
though millions Of glasses Of Coca-Cola
are drunk every year, no Coca-Cola
fiends have ever made themselves Wis
ible at the doors Of the Ganitariums for
the treatment of drug habits.
The Coca-Cola habit is analogous to
the beefsteak habit and to the straw
berry habit and the ice cream habit.
People drink Coca-Cola first because
they see it advertised and thereafter
because it tastes good and refreshes
their minds and bodies. They drink it
when they can get It and contentedly
do without It when they can't get it..
If you had ever witnessed the rawlings
Of real drug fiend when deprived OF
his drug, If you had ever observed the
agony he suffers, you would never
again be so unfair as to mention Coca
Cola in the same breath with the
''habit-forming" drugs.-Adv.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Like Ruuuins.

Charles w. Morse, at luncheon in
New York, said of a certain complain
ing type of French investor:
Here in New York, just the same
as over there in Paris, you've got to
be content with very low rate Of
interest If you want a perfectly safe
investment.
1T is folly to buy highly specula-
tive stock and then growl because
they oscillate the wrong way.
Such people remind me of Buggins.
Buggins, you know, is always trying
to get something for nothing"
Mr.. Morse paused and a broker
asked:
And how does Buggins make out?''
We'll" said Mr., Morse, "he always
gets nothing for something"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Would DO His Best.

Mike, porter at an eastern hotel, de-
cided one day to get married, and
gave notice that he was going to
leave and live on farm. The house
keeper. an elderly woman, thought she
would give him some good advice.
She said:
Now, Mike, promise me you will
be good to this woman. Don't work
her too hard. Promise me you will be
good to her"
Mike thought a moment, then he
said:
well, I'll try; but she's got a HI
of disposition"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Secure.

1t was the dead of night when all
good people are supposed to be in bed
and asleep
"John," whispered Mrs. Caudle, I'm
sure there's a burglar at the front
door"
That's all right; he can't get in,'
replied John, sleepily. 81 have the
latch key in my own pocket"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Get Into the Land Business.

Work for yourself. Opportunity
right In your community for paying
business. Send soc money order to-
day for my full and complete instruc-
tions and begin at once E. B. Hickam,
Dept. E, Saltwater, Okla-Adv.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Convenient for Deaf Persona.

On the back of each seat of new
London theater there will be coin in
the slot telephones to enable persons
with defective hearing to listen to
what is being said on the stage.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Irritating Skin Troubles,

80 prevalent in summer, such as
hives, poison oak, chahng, sunburn,
eczema, ETC.. are quickly relieved when
Tyree's Antiseptic Powder is used.
25c. at druggists or sample sent free
BY J. S. Tyree, Washington, d. C.-Adv.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Vast African PrlncipalitY.

All the territory of Rhodesia is
governed by the British South African
company. chartered in 1889. It's area
is equal to the areas of Texas, New
York, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Ken
lucky.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Convenient Book Holder.

A book holder that an Ohio Woman
has patented has legs which stand up
on a chair seat and cord to sus-
pend it from the shoulders of its user,
whose hands are left free.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
THE BEST HOT WEATHER tonic,
GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
The Old Standard General Tonic. Drives out Malaria,
Enriches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System.
FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

IN a
GROVES TASTELESS chill TONIC for Malaria Chs
debility life and
Mothers Pale Sk Children Bousnes without Relieves
appetizer Guaranteed
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Must Raise Water Ratea

The st. Louis water system is said
to have netted in eight years a loss
of $1,O22,61S to the taxpayers by rea
son of too low rate for service.
Rates may be raised.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

Always full quality value in LEWIS
Single Binder, That is why the smoker
wants it, Adv,
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

In writing love letters fellow
doesn't have to use a quill pen to
make a goose Of himself.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

The wheel of fortune turns so fast
for some men that it makes the rest
of us dizzy.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Good Supply,

why does it seem so easy to bor-
row trouble?'
81 suppose because 1t is something
everybody has got plenty to lend"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Didn't Affect Him

Horrified Old L2dy-Oh, kind sir,
think of your mother! Think of your
mother!
Burglar (sternly)-No use, lady!
wuz brought up in a incubatOr.-PuCk.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Land Of Careless Attire.

"A writer says Bohemia is a state of
mind"
I've always thought 1t was a state
of deshabille."
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

Willie-Paw, what does auto-intoxi-
cation mean?
Paw-Joy riding, my son.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

Conversation Is a bore when you
have to make 1t.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

You Can Stop n CarbuncIe Boil
After II begins to form, by using DIR. POR-
TER's ANTIsEPTIC HEALING OIL. 25c,
b0c, 800.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

Don't buy water for bluing. Liquid blue is
almost all water. Buy Red Cross Ball Blue,
the blue that's all blue. ADV.
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Relaxed.

The fellow who has spring fever
doesn't feel at all springy."
No; he feels sprung"
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07

Signature Dnstn 90 Of IzHAZIzsx
In Use For over so Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
important to Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
The Oklahoma miner. [volume] (Krebs, Okla.) 1912-192?, 1913-08-07
Her Methods.

Her Methods.
Does your daughter study her
geography with avidity?"
mo; she studies it with maps"
Evening star., 1913-02-21
QUAKERS WED IN GOTHAM
FIRST TIME IN II YEARS
One Woman Appears in Sober Garh
of Sect-Only Orthodox Friends
Church in City.

NEW YORK, February 2l.-F'or the
first time in seventeen years there was a
wedding last night in the little Quaker
meeting house in Gramercy Park. over
which quaint edifce fashionable apart
ment houses now tower. 1t is the home
of the only congregation of Orthodox
Friends in New York. 1t had been so
long since the 800 members of the con-
greeation saw a wedding that practically
all of them came from far and near to
see the marriage of Benjamin Hervey
Doane, d clerk in the appellate division
of the supreme court, and Miss Alice
Howcs Underhill.
With no minister and with no music,
the couple marched up the aisle of the
church and standing before the meeting
they clasped hands and repeated the sim
Pile marriage vows to be loving and duti-
full with Gods aid. They signed a GER
tificate testifying to the fact that they
had laid their intentions of marriage be-
fore two previous meetings of the con-
Srega ton without having heard objec ton
to them.
Fifty years ago, when the little meeting
were usually filled with women in the
Quaker dress. but last night only one
woman appeared in that sober garb.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
LEAPS INTO FROZEN RIVER
AS TRAIN BUSHES ON HIM
Life of Connecticut Man Is Saved by
Thoughtful Act of
Little Girl.

HARTFORD, Conn, February 21.-
Brought suddenly to face the alternative
Of being ground to death on railroad
trestle over the Park river or taking the
desperate chance of fighting for his life
IN the deep rapid and ice-laden river Fer
dinand Osborne of No. A School street,
Burnside made the latter choice In the
nick of time at o'clock in the after
noon Before his plunge had carried him
20 the rivers surface the Valley Division
express of the New York. New Haven
and Hartford railroad was rushing over
the spot where he had stood.
Osborne waved frantically as the ex-
press bore down on him. Apparently the
engineer did not see him. for the train
did not make the slightest decrease of
ereed. Osborne waited to the very last
ynoment that he possibly could and es-
cape with his life, and then leaped from
the trestle into the river.
lie crashed through the Ice, but the
rivers surface was not soidly frozen, SO
tnat when he arose he was not causht
under the ice and was able TO breathe.
Put the shock of his fall had weakened
him and never more than an indlnerent
swimmer he soon found himself weaken
ing perilously in his battle TO make prog
ress through the ice to the shore. hIty
feet away.
As he was giving up hope he heard the
treble cry OF child, and, looking toward
The west shore, saw twelve-year-oid
Agnes Walters standing there. She waved
her hand and shouted:
Keep up, Keep up! I've cut poa'
loose and it's floating your way.
The little girl had seen the man 8 lear
from the window of her parents cottage
near the shore and reasoned that a boa'
set adrift would just about take course
a hiring IL within Osborne = reach
Osborne. supporting himself with his
arms on thick cake OF ice, battleG
against Inconsistencies as the rowboa
slowly drifted his way. Finally he was
Evening star., 1913-02-21
HOSPITAL FORCE PUZZLED
OVER CHILD'S IDENTITY
Philadelphia Parents Refuse to Ac.
cept Three Girl
as Their Own.

PHILADELPHIA. February 2l.-The
authorities at the Municipal Hospital for
Contagious Diseases are trying to learn
the identity of the three-year-old girl
they supposed was Beatrice Kaufman, and
at the same time discover what has
become of the real Beatrice, who was
admitted to the institution six weeks ago
suffering from scarlet fever. Beatrice's 8
father, Isadere Kaufman, received re-
ports from the hospital every day telling
him the little girl was recovering.
Yesterday he was notified to come and
take her home. Fastening to the insti-
tuition, kaufman was surprised when a
child whom he did not recognize was
turned over to him.
THAT is not my Beatrice" he ex-
claimed.
"Oh, yes it is. She has changed In ap-
pearance because of her Illness declared
the hospital attendants
Unconvinced. but hoping that he was
mistaken. Kaufman took the child to his
home so that his wife might decide. Mrs.
Kaufman also declared that the child was
not her Beatrice. and the little girl. fall
ing to note any familiar surroundings,
burst into loud sobs for mamma" She
was taken back to the hospital last night,
but the real Beatrice could not be To-
Gated.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
FAIR PLANS DEVELOP FAST.
Panama-Paciic Exposition Will Be
Ready Before Opening Day.

SAN FRANCISCO. February 21.-Two
years to day before the official date
Of opening of the Panama-Pacific inter-
national exposition. Charles C. Moore,
it's president. issued a statement today
to show that preparations already are
further along than was planned. that
twenty-eight foreign nations have ac-
cepted the invitation to participate, and
that the exposition will be ready before
the day set.
Already the service building stands
complete and work on the machinery
building. the largest single structure,
has been begun.
The women of America will share in
the exposition to no small extent in
direct activity Two fountains designed
by women already are announced. The
designers are Mrs. Harry Payne Whit
ney and Mrs. Edith Woodman Bur-
roughs.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
HEADACHY, CONST|PA!ED, BILIOUS,
TAKE DELICIOUS SYRUP OF FIGS
Removes from the tongue, gassy
bilious stomach cleanses your liver and bowels
without gripe nausea

washday-1'hat is all wrong II
you will take a teaspoonfui OF de
licious Syrup of Figs tonight you
will never realize you have taken
anything until morning, when all
the poisonous matter, sour bile and
clogged-up waste will be moved on
and out of your system, thorough
ly but gently-no grlping-no
nausea-no weakness Taking
Syrup OF Figs is real pleasure
Don't think you ar drugging
yourself; it is composed entirely of
luscious figs, SIENNA and aromatics,
and constant use cannot cause in
Jury
Ask your druggist for Syrup of
Figs and Elixir of Senna," and
look for the name California Fig
Syrup Company, on the label. This
is the genuine-old reliable. Any
other Fig Syrup offered as good
should be refused with contempt.
Don't be imposed upon.-Adver-
tisement
Evening star., 1913-02-21

If headachy, bilious, dizzy,
tongue coated, stomach sour and
full of gas, you belch undigested
food and feel sick and miserable,
it means that your liver is choked
with sour bile and your thirty feet
OF bowels are clogged with effete
waste matter not properly carried
off. Constipation is worse than
most folks believe. 1t means that
this waste matter in the thirty teet
of bowels decays into poisons,
gases and acids and that these
poisons are then sucked into the
blood through the very ducts
which should suck only nourish-
ment to sustain the body.
Most people dread physic. They
think OF castor oil, salts and ca
thartic pills. They shrink from the
after efects-so they postpone the
dose until they get sick; then they
do is liver and bowel cleansing
in a heroic way-they have bowel
Evening star., 1913-02-21
GANG TITLES THE STYLE.
Young Criminals Now Regard Cog.
nomens as a Necessity.

NEW YORK, February 21.-Gang titles
have come to be regarded by young
criminals as positive necessity in their
business here, according to the police
There is a suggestion that "Gyp the
Blood and many similar nickname
which received publicity in the murder
Herman Rosenthal last summer sci
fashion
AS an instance. the biotter of d police
station was enriched last night,with such
names as THE Snake" Lefty Bill -
Little jeff ''The Dope Mutt and
"Snowbalr'-all boys under sixteen years
OF age whose real names are those Of
foreigners. Bracketed against their
names is list of thirty small burelaries.
for which they will answer in children's 8
court
Evening star., 1913-02-21
HISTORY OF SLAVIC RACE
is BEING PUT ON CANVAS
C. r. Crane of Chicago Footing Bills
for Twenty Paintings for
Prague, Bohemia.

NEW YORK, February 2I.-Charles X.
Crane of Chicago is footing the bills for
twenty paintings of enormous size de-
picting the history of the Slavic race
which will be hung in special building
in the city of Prague. Bohemia. according
to details of the scheme published here
today.
Nj. Alfonso Mucha a Slavic artist, Is
executing the monumental series of can
vases in the grand ballroom of old
castle at Zbrow. Bohemia, although al
present he is paying short visit to this
country 10 arrange further details for
the completion of the series. and incl
dentally to paint portrait of Mr.. Crane S
daughter Mrs. r. Leatherbee.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
ICE SHORTAGE PROBABLE.
Harvesting" From the Hudson Pre-
vented by Warm Weather.

NEW YORK. February 21--There may
be an ice famine in the east after all.
Ice cutting on the Hudson has been
generally suspended after few days
harvesting, because of the sudden
moderation of the temperature, and
dealers are again fearing that the
capricious winter will leave them with
their ice houses practically empty.
In New York yesterday the day was
the warmest February 20 since 1872.
the thermometer registering % degrees
at ; o'clock.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
CUT OUT CLASS RUSH.
Freshmen and Sophs at Yale Reach
an Agreement.

NEW HAVEN, Conn, February 21.-
After six weeks agitation over details
for the annual Washington's birthday
rush between the Yale freshmen and
sophomores the two classes have decided
to abandon it this year. The rush" has
been a regular feature of Yale life, and
its omission this season will be the first
time in many decades.
For several years the faculty has been
making more and more rigorous rules re-
garding the struggle, with the result that
the students declared there was no long
er any red blood in 1t.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
The PASSENGER PIGEON.
By Frederic J. Haskin.

The recent sickness of the passenger
pigeon in the Cincnnai Zooioglcal Gar
dens-the last survivor of a mighty host
has served to call the attention oil ha'ur-
alists again to one of the most REMARK
able of all the stories of nature S library
the extinction of one of the most re-
markable birds that ever Inhabited the
earth. Millions of people are sun i1Flhg
whose eyes have witnessed the flight or
the myriad hosts of passenger pigeons,
and yet only one of all the vast numbers
of those pigeons is known to survive
and that one occupies a place of honor
i'm the Cincinnati Zoo. When ne dies IL
is probable his body will he presented to
the nation, to be preserved in alcohoi at
the National Museum.
In these days it is hard for the younger
people to believe the story of the pas
senger pigeon, SO incredible We're their
numbers. so remarkaple were tnelr hishis
and so strange were their nestings. And
the story of the brutality that marked
the work of the pot hunters who followed
them as tiger stalks his prey, relent-
lessly pursuing them, using the telegraph
to keep in touch with their flights ana
their nestings, is Il story OF revolving
cruelty and butchery
The world is indebted to John James
Audubon, the great naturalist, Tor What
is perhaps the best account OF the pas
senger pigeon ever written. And MS
truthfulness and scientific accuracy made
it a story to be accepted at its face value.
He relates that in the autumn OF 1918 ne
left his house at Henderson. on the banks
of the Ohio, to go to Louisville.
In passing over the Barrens, few
miles from Hardensburg, he observed
Evening star., 1913-02-21
Women Direct Recall Election.

SAN FRANCISCO, February 21.-Per-
haps the frs. Instance of "a judicial re-
cal election, directed almost entirely by
women. is expected to follow the am
nouncement made here yesterday that
recall petition has been filed against
Police Judge Charles +. Weller The
campaign against Judge Weller was
started after he had reduced the bond
of man charged with an offense
against a woman. The man ran away.
Evening star., 1913-02-21
Hays Estate Goes to Widow.

TORONTO. February 21.-The will of
c. NJ. Hays, the Grand Trunk railway
president who lost his life in the Titanic
disaster, filed here yesterday, disposed
of an estate valued at $762.29S, all of
which goes to Mrs. Hays, the widow.
with the exception of legacies of $40 to
each of his four daughters. and $4,000
to be divided between his sister and
brother. Davis 8. Hays, in equal
al