American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1913-01-16
PURE PIFFLE, BUT
PERHAPS PUNCENT
BEING A LITTLE JOURNEY OF
THE IMAGINATION TO
BYCONE DAYS
READ AND Be MADE GLAD
That you didn't 1--we in the sm-kissed
Snake valley when monsters anc
volcanic erupdons were frequent

In prehistoric and antedeluviaI
time there Inhabited this earth
beasts. whose gigantic proportions
would even now strike terror into
the hearts OF the brayest. In the
modern animal kingdom there Is
no counterpart, nothing that evel
approaches in size or shape tnese
monarchs OF the good old days.
They must have been fe4rsOm&
sights Suppose. Tor instance. thai
IN your peaceful and pleaure ben
peregrinations through the Countr!
hereaDopl you encounter a. Dino
saur measuring, say, one hundred
and twenty feet in length, and witt
glrtR and heigth proportionate;
would you quail? would you run
Sure; and l would, too.
Our ancestors, the cave men
If evolution had eyoluted that far
had these tiny household pets and
lap dogs to contend with. The
aboriginal resident OF AmericanFalls
knew not the day nor the hour whe
faithful Fido would go mad and
make OK him a dainty ud-bit; no.
could he forecast the time wher
Terrible Tabby, the prehistoric cat.
would treacherously slay him u
furnish gnawing material for tn.
kittens. Then there was the ichto-
saurus. the three-toed horse, the
dinotherium, aud divers others who
were jawbreakers, figurativeiy anc
literally. Would 1t annoy you &c
meet such an one-one whose prin-
cipal facial aperture was ten OF
twenty feet across, and whose ap-
petite was in keeping?
For ages these Goliaths of the
wild have slept with their fathers;
those whose habitat was Idaho
and environs. and who gathered or
occasion at the mart of trade anG
industry, American Falls, nigh
have long remained in the restfu.
modern commerce.
In excavating for the great power
house now in course OF construction
al American Falls, masOleums O.
the mastodons. and others. were
violated; bones, teeth, and tusks
of giants OF the dim and hazy pas,
were uncovered. One tooth picked
up was more than a fest long
Imagine a set of incisors bicuspids
and molars OF that size yawnine
in front of you, Ivory tusks,
many feet in length were discovered
and ivory. you know, is rare. highly
prized. and consequently expensive
valuable. For time some of the
diggers had dreams OF getting rich
quick in a way that would make
even J. Rufus Wallingford jealous
Overtime was frantically spent in
b asty endeavor to raise the ivory
from its ancient sepulchre. Their
dreams however, ike so many hu-
nan hopes. failed of realization; the
iecay OF countless centuries had
,rumbled the tusks. and they fe
70 pieces when the men tried 20 ut
hem up.
How did they get there. you say
pass; l don't know. All can
ell Is what other people say.
AS everyone knows, the top soil
n this part of the great continent
$ volconic ash formation, and the
major portion Of our rocks are
ava. Folks who have given study
o the matter believe that when
he great volcanic eruptions that
overed this section occurred the
in trying TO escape the
ain of hot ashes. made for water
oh, yes, they say that a prehis-
oric spring existed on the other
ide OF what is now the river and
hat there, just below our seething
ity. the rush OF lava overwhelmed
menagerie that would have awed
ven a circus razorback, and might
ave puzzled even our old college
riends. Huxley and Darwin.
Anyhow, the bones were dug up
Ilso there were lots and heaps of
I'm, and they were big-bigger
han those of any animal now ex-
ant. Likewise this Is a volcanic
sh country, and the rock in which
be excavating was done is lava;
Ii OF which we take 10 indicate
hat there must have been animals.
nd that the animals must have
cen buried by the volcanic erup-
ion which had to occur in order to
roduoe the lava and ashes. So
here.
You can believe as much of the
est as you like. Some people
light be interested to know that
-mericanFalls was on the map when
icture post cards looked like mod
IN tombstones; when letters were
bout as conveniently handled as
ton of coal; when our savage
,refathers ate their meat hloof
aw; when the primal instinct was