davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

onyms as the nature of language per-
mits: the latter, however, has by COM
mon consent been set apart in English
to express the passage of a watery
secretion through the skin, while the
former is properly used only in a fig
urative sense to express the passage
of knowledge from a limited circle to
publicity"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
f. Stomach Trouble

yields quickly to DR.. R. A. ARMS.
TEAD'S AGUE TONIC. Not only 4
Chill and Malaria specific. but a splen.
did tonic for the stomach. reaching ey.
cry spot in the entire system and max.
ing the food assimilate properly. A
dose before each meal. Perfectly harm.
less. Pleasant to take. SOC and s1oo
bottles.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
ke hands with each

should like to shake hands with each
and every one"
well. what's wrong with that?"
asked Jefferson.
It's perfectly absurd" retorted
Lackaye. "The only face that | ever
saw that you could shake hands with
is John Drew's. "-Lppincott
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Always Popular Car.

We'll, Bildad." said JimsonberTy.
Il suppose now that you are living
out in the country, you have a car"
YES" said Bildad. THAT is, my
neighbors and have one together"
'Really?" said Jimsonberry.
Cooperative arrangement, Ell? Not
a bad idea. What make is it?''
"Oh, just plain Trolley.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
As a General Tonic

DIR. r. A. ARMISTEAD'S AGUE
TONIC has no equal. Whenever you
feel poorly. lack energy and ambition.
begin taking this tonic Immediately.
It viii often ward on serious illness.
SOC and s1.00 bottles.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
His Chief Concern.

Mrs. Hemmandhaw-If another man
should win me would you sue him iOr
my love?
Hemmandhaw-Yes; jusS for spIiu.
Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
PIIp.MY-IIcM

Will cure your rheumatism and an
kinds of aches and pains-NeuralgIn
Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, cuia
Old Sores. Burns, etc. Antlseptle
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Quite Different.

He makes OLD backs as good a,
new"
"Sanitarium?"
mo; bookbindery."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Difference of onirion.

Mamie-I think my Billy is the salt
of the earth.
Pal think he's too fresh.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
Strange.

ct won't hold water"
What won't?"
This submarine case"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Be thrifty on little things like bluIne. Dom
accept water for bluing. Ask for Red Crn'
Ball Blue, the extra good value blrs. ADJ
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

1t makes some girls weary to d
anything but visit.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31
CHAPTER X.
An Ambuscad,

An Ambuscade.
Fran's conception of the Clinton
clearinghouse, the home Of jollity,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-10-31

Many a. good sermon has been
preached In silenr-
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-24
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

|. TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING
Young Giles, eager to join the po-
lice force, journeyed to town" in
order to pass the necessary medical
examination. This he survived salts
factory and on the following day the
proud young recruit was interviewed
by a high official.
'WeIl, my man" remarked the lat
ter, looking earnestly at the newly
made officer, you look a promis-
ing sort of fellow. What sort of edu-
cation have you had?"
ooh, SIR" replied the recruit, 81
was educated at a country SCHOOL,
"Ah! And you've a good general
knowledge, 1 hope?"
"Oh, yes, sir"
81 wonder. Can you tell me, for
example, how many miles it is from
Chicago to New York;"
At this the recruit became some
what agitated, and, gazing nervousIy
at his chief, remarked:
Look here, sir, if you're going to
put me on that beat, I've finished with
the force"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-24
CRATE!

Mark Twain's story of Horace
Greeley's handwriting has a parallel
in this, from a railway conductor in
Missouri to the president of the road.
The conductor wrote:
"a farmer has been riding on this
pass for about year. Do you want
him to continue to use it?"
The president put on his glasses,
looked the paper over carefully, and
said:
why, this is not pass. 1t is a re-
ceipt 1 gave the fellow for a load Of
wood about year ago"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-24
LESSER OF TWO EVILS

/ EES0Eh VI WI EVILS
Guilty or not guilty?" asked the
judge sternly.
The prisoner small, perky man
-gazed obviously round the court.
The character of his lawyer he doubt
led, the jury looked a thick-headed
dot; the judge as bad-tempered as a
bear, and the opposing counsel an
EEL"
Milford" said the prisoner, "may
1 ask some questions before l answer
your"
"You may" tersely answered the
judge.
eff l plead Not guilty, will have
I Ito sit here and listen while they ask
me all manner o. questions?"
you will"
f''Do l have to hear all them hand
.WTitin' experts for and against?"
eYou do"
'Must l listen to the insanity doc
tors doing all their talkin'?"
certainly"
Guilty, then, m'lord"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1913-05-24

"cIara, love but thee alone" Thus
sighed the tender youth. ooh, hear
me, then, my passion own. With
trembling lips and earnest tone,
swear 1 speak the truth" He paused
"a blush o'erspread her cheek. She
let him draw her near. Scarce for
emotion could she speak, Yet she
did ask, in accents meek, "HoW much
have you a year?" 49,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
BY MABEL HERBERT URNER.

r t was Monday morning and Helen
was making a list for the laundry.
Sheets 4. pillow cases s, table
cloths 2 naukins & tOwIes-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

equaliZes in this world. He amt like Us
young folks. George. Every time thar
we see three or four happy days in q
row we begin TO think that We are go
ing 10 be like the lilies that toll not
neither do they spin, Yet sullivan in
all his glory never had no better
clothes than them, The old gent says
that he never pats himself on the back
fer having 4 little run of luck. be-
cause he has been too long in the lea.
que 10 think everything in life Is ros-
e. and sunshine, He says that We all
ought 10 consider the wallops that is
in store for us and act kind of calm
even in the moments Of our easiest so
ing"
Il don't agree with your father" said
the Head Barber, Lots Of times I
think some people has Alright TO be
swelled up, They have money and so
cial position and all that. Some of
them is even kings. The rest of US
have got TO grub along and be common
people"
Father would be awful pensive IL
he knew YOU didn't agree with him."
said the Manicure Lady. But the old
gent is funny about social position.
You see George, when Father had a
10, % money he used TO mix in with
the swells, and found out that there
wasn't as much gold in their hearts
and heads as there is in the hearts
and heads of his regular pals. l kind
of like him for it George. whether you
do or not. H never says much about
his friends, and he would break a date
with King Alphonso of Spain TO go
out to the ball game with Bob Kiley.
But that amt what We started to
talk about l was saying that signs
can't amount to much, or / would be
setting here now making holler
about something. Well. for the love
of Paddy, Gee. George, somebody
has took my pocketbook, oh. Gee.
II musta been some dip on the sub
way. Gee. now I've gotta be sur
reptitious again."
BY WILLIAM F. KIRK.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
CheHshing Memories of Our Ideals

make men and women satisfied with
the life partners they did get than
anything else on earth. for IL there is
one thing that makes you want to 60
out and burn Joss sticks to luck il is
to meet up with the one you didn't
marry.
Il have just been seeing a most IL
Illuminating example of the value of
my theory. / have friend, whom
will call Susie, because that isn't her
girl, fell in love with a good looking
and attractive young fellow who was
one of those youths who live upon
their mothers.
Fortunately for Susie, she had
sensible. hard-headed father who re-
presented TO her that a man who had
never supported himself was not like
ly to support a family, and as Susie
had too much independence to want
to settle down on a poor mother.in-law
10 be taken care of, she was kept from
marrying the young man, and, in time.
of course, got over her girlish fancy.
Eventually she made an excellent
match. She married a thrifty bust
ness man in a distant city, who was
able TO give her a beautiful home,
fine clothes. an automobile. and ev.
cry luxury that wealth can supply
Also her husband is a man of weight
in his community, looked up to, and
deferred to.
But always her early love has
doomed in Susie's mind as a fairy
prince, and she has contrasted her
husband unfavorably with him. and
said to herself how tssful she might
have been with a man who understood
her poetic yearnings. and her grasp
ing at the whatness of the whats.
instead of with sordid business man
whose soul was not on material things.
Well. last month Susie went back
home for the first time in many years
and saw her early love. Also his
wife and children. The shiftless. ne'er
do well had gone down, and down.
until he had become the village loafer
People spoke of him with sneering
contempt. His wife was a poor pit
iful. overworked drudge who support.
ed him by taking boarders. Half
dozen dirty little children chung TO
her skirts.
THE OUTCOME.
You never saw such an instanta-
neous cure as that sight of the man
she didn't marry worked on Susie.
She scuttled back home as fast as
she could go. and she has been So
busy ever since scattering roses in
the path of the man she did marry
CONTINUED on Page Nine.)
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
DECAY OF MANNERS.

The men of the seventeenth
century were, suspect. the gen
test bred Englishmen ever pro-
duced. partly because they pos
sesSed good manners themselves.
and partly because they realized
the enormous Importance of cour-
tesy and good manners in the
common transactions of life.
Now. we English people. and, l
am afraid, still more we Scoth
people. are never famous for
good manners. | think at one
time there was a sort of John
Bull feeling in England that
good manners were device for
the dancing, frog eating French
man. whom it was our duty to
despise. | think there has been
a decay of manners in England.
Scotland and all over the world.
Good appearance and good man
nerS have an enormous CONNER
cial value in life l sometimes
wonder why they are not harped
on more. Good appearance. you
may say. is not at our command
| don't agree. Good looks are
not at our command They are
gift of the gods. but good.
straightforward. manly appear
ance. an appearance without self
cOnsciousnesS-which is the most
disagreeable feature perhaps of
all in appearance-is within the
com mand of every boy.-Lord
Rosehery.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

mer. An ideal Summer program is to
have meat on your dinner menu only
two or three times a week. For in
stance: Chicken on Sunday, steak on
Tuesday, lamb on Thursday, fish on
Friday, and on the other three days
try soup and few extra vegetables
for your dinner. Simple menus will
give your 'digestry' a rested, happy
feeling that will tell in a happy, rest
ed-lOoking face.
IF you like it as well as | do, you
will be delighted to drink three glass
es' of buttermilk during the day, and
on rising and on retiring you will en-
joy eating a bit of watercress with
salt. Fine tonics for the system-both
of these. Then to make your skin and
muscles rejoice in the general prosper
ity, try a morning and evening rub
with equal parts of alcohol and witch
hazel, That will add a fine glow to the
general beauty-dealing feeling of hap
piness you want TO acquire. oh. it is
great fun working out a system where
by you will acquire happiness and all
its attendant blessings or beauty and
health and power to advance in the
world"
AS we left Miss Josephine's pretty
home on a cross street, just west of
Broadway, a friend called to the little
blue linen-suited figure: Hello, little
blue bird" And the Blue Bird is for
Happiness, you know.
LILLIAN LAUFFERTY.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

telephone for a few flowers for a cen
ire piece? They would add SO much
She hesitated for some time and then
called up the florist in the next block
and ordered dozen pink carnations.
They were only IS cents. Surely she
ought to have them.
And she would burn candles 1t
would be a rear party. Just she and
Warren-at this the first dinner she
had really cooked alone since their
marriage. SO she got out the silver
candlesticks with their pretty pink
silk shades. And then she stood back
isfaction.
When everything about the dinner
was ready, she hurried into her room
to dress. Quickly she slipped into one
OF her daintiest gowns. Wouldn't War
rem be surprised. She pictured his
pleased establishment when he found
she had done this all alone. He might
even take her in his arms and say;
Just the most wonderful little woman
in the world" That was what he
sometimes did on very rare and beau
tiful occasions. They had not been fire.
ouent of late; but tonight she knew
he would-she felt sure he would.
THE MESSAGE OVER THE PHONE.
She had just finished dressing when
the telephone rang. 1t was Warren.
Pm bringing Jack Dawson home
e., alI Il III
she can-am sorry | couldn't let her
know sooner"
But Annals not here" she gasped,
before she had time to think.
Not there?"
"No-her brothers sick and set for
her"
"Joye that's too bad. Then I'll have
to take Dawson to the club
mo, no. I've cooked dinner myself
there's plenty for three, And it's all
ready-Ill have it on the table by the
time you get here,
"Oh, oh, Dawson's mighty stiff, con-
ventional chap. l wouldn't bring him
to any pickup dinner"
But it isn't a pickup dinner. I've
been all afternoon preparing it. It's
really very
We'll it's all right for you to expert
ment on me-but it wouldn't be fair
to drag old Dawson in! He hasn't done
anything to deserve it, you know"
And he laughed as that was an excel
lent joke.
But Warren, listen! excitedly. 4
have chicken papri'-
"Good-by," he said, and hungup.
Here comes Dawson now. | can't
say anything more-he'll hear me,
"Good-by; I'll be home around TO-"
And before she could prevent it he
had hung up the receiver.
Even if she wanted to call him up
again she couldn't. 1t was too late for
him to be at his office, and she had no
iCCa from where he was 'phOning.
AS though dazed by the sudden dis
appointment she still stood by the tel
Hphone. Through the open dining room
door she caught a glimpse Of the table
she had so carefully prepared-the
dainty china, the silver, the flowers,
the pink and shaded candles.
For moment she looked at it with
admiring eyes. Then she leaned her
head against the wall by the telephone
and burst into tears.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

join me in a happiness hunt and get
such sweet expressions that every one
would be exclaiming: Well, l de-
be a beauty-she has the most attrac-
tive expression!'
Suddenly Miss Josephine trilled out
a merry laugh. Want to see one praC-
teal detail of my hunt for happiness
Well, l a making my feet happy, too.
| wear flat-soled tennis shoes with
buck. instead of rubber soles, since
rubber draws the feet. and so rest and
relax the muscles and tendons of my
feet. Narrow, tight, high-heeled shoes
do not make your feet comfortable;
they actually hurt your health, and
they do great har INTO the serenity of
your face. You know the desperate eX-
preston you often see on the face of a
girl whose shoes are too tight or are
pitching her forward, with the strain
coming heavily on already tired mus
cles. Well. an expression like that
may carve its way in ugly lines right
into a face. So l recommend making
your feet happy if you want your face
to look happy,
vENTRAL COURTESY.
Il am very polite to my digestion.
don't ask it's overtaxed organs to
handle heavy meats and rich sauces
all through the hot Summer. Instead,
I eat vegetables and salads and the
lighter meats, and give my system ton
ic food, instead of task food, in Sum
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

you trust your friends, you love all the
beauty Of nature around you-and you
avoid unnecessary contact with tasks
that you cannot teach yourself to like.
Oh, truly, | think that if you are hap
Ply you will be healthy and wealthy
and wise and-and, yes, beautiful"
Now. Miss Josephine is the Sun
shine Girl in The Passing Show of
1918" up at the Winter Garden. New
York city, and most charmingly does
she and her partner, Wellington Cross,
dispense gayety and sunshine as they
dance their Joy OF living" steps for you.
Perhaps it is here that Miss Josephine
found her inspiration to be sunshine
girl in everyday life, but to be happy
seems to be to be a most excellent way
to acquire beauty.
HER PROGRAMME
Il am going to be so happy and con-
tented with life that l will just nat
urally attract sunshine instead of
shadow" went on the dainty girl
whose picture delights you today. Il
am going to be so pleased with my
life work that my expression can new
er be bitter or disconnected, but in
stead must be sweet and friendly.
BITTERNESS, discomfort, envy, worry,
anger, malice am going to Danish
them from my mind more and more
earnestly as l get more and more pow
er to pursue a search for happiness.
If only girls knew what foes to beauty
these evil feelings were they would all
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

4 L
likes to philosophize above
her tea, that there are very
few of us, either men or wom-
en-, who do not cherish the memory of
some rare and radiant being that we
have met somewhere in the past, and
who do not have moments in which
We speculate upon what might have
been, if only we had married the ideal.
instead of the individual that we did
marry.
"Of course, for the most part, we
are fairly we'll satisfied with our own
particular Darby or Joan, but in times
of domestic strife we recall with
cad, sweet pleasure, the face of Ange-
lima or Edwin, and reflect that he or
she would never have been such a
goose, or so pig-headed. or raised
such rows about nothing as does the
wife or husband to whom we are tied.
'Ah, no. Angelina would always
have been fair and beautiful, and
slim and young, a perfect housekeeper
and marvel of economy, far different
from our own fat and grizled middle
aged Joan, who is a hit or miss cook
and apparently thinks a man can
| gather money of the trees. Our Ed.
win, too, would always have been a
romantic hero, who could make us
thrill at his touch, who would muir.
muir beautiful sentiments of affection
couched in Booth Harrington language
4 for forty years at a stretch, and who
would have lived on such a high plane
that he wouldn't even have perceived
when the coffee tasted like dish water
and the soup was cold. and the ices
hot. And he would have been utterly
/ incapable of saying such things under
mon-place Darby, to whom We arc
united.
THE RETROSPECT.
las the years go by and we get
further and further away from Edwin
and Angelina and the gilt rubs more
and more off of the ginger bread OF
matrimony that we are daily forced
to consume, the pictures of our early
loves grow brighter and brighter. with
a more and more roseate halo. until
at last we come to the place where
we privately consider ourselves blight
ed beings, who have made fatal mis-
takes in matrimony.
/ Il am convinced that great deal
of domestic unhappiness arises from
this cause, and | think that ten years
after marriage there ought to be a
/ compulsory excursion back TO the
scene of ones early romance, so that
! husbands and wives could get a near
view of their first love. Take my
| word for il. that il would do more to
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

- luck signs has failed on me
lately. George. Things is 50 rosy that
| am all the time looking for the Wool
worth Building TO fall right on me
and me alone never seen the time
when so many things broke right all
at once, and that right in the face OF
a lot of hoodoo signs"
1t comes that way sometimes said
the Head Barber. Il didn't see any
hoodoo signs at all last week, and
everything broke wrong, Two skates
that bet on got the blind staggers,
and the missus got the quinsy and the
kid caught il from her. don't believe
in signs"
Il used to-" said the Manicure Lady.
but it's getting so l amt surrepti-
tious. too. Yesterday our biggest mir
ror broke up at the house. II wouldn't
have broke. only Wilfred was trying
to show father how TO box. and the old
gent threw science 10 the winds and
cut loose with a haymaker that druv
my poor brother through the looking
glass in the hall. the one Ma and
Mayme and l always stands in front
of to see how we look TO go out for the
evening. That was a broken looking
glass for fair. but it didn't bring no
bad luck to our household. And VIII
fred walked under a ladder yesterday
when he was looking up at the clouds
10 get a inspiration for a poem called
A Cloudy Day in August There
wasn't any comeback on that. either.
fused a little last night when
seen a crosseyed woman in the sub
way. but nothing came of that this far.
guess the poor thing got crosseyed
looking two ways for a seat. | am as
happy as a humming bird. and nothing
has happened to ruffle my feelings.
haven't heard a single guy that came
in here all the forenoon say \ should
worry
The old gent says that everything
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
PAII>ADlJAlS MAGAZINE AND HOME PAGE
2 BE Happy Is Lois osephineS Receipt For Being Beautiful

IT AN determined TO be happy,
said Lois Josephine to me,
smiling the while with the
wistful sweetness that is the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

wistful sweetness that is the
heritage of Irish blood. 4 think that
being happy is the secret of being
well, and doing your work well, and
with all these wells to be acquired,
my secret for happiness is going 10
be untiring"
Just how does one go about being
appy-deliberately happy" l asked
The Blue Bird of Happiness is an elu-
sive-Winged creature, and even when
he is found at last at your own fireside
he flies away as you clasp him in the
Welcoming circle of your hands.
ITO be happy" answered Miss Jo-
Saphine, with tiny shadow of smile
that ought to lure happiness right to
her side, never to depart, Ito be happy,
you like all the things you have to do,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
BY DOROTHY DIX.

~ FANCY" said the woman who
likes to philosophize above
her tea, that there are very
few of lis either men or wom-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28
THE MANICURE LADY

" WONDER if there is anything
in signs this season." said the
Manicure Lady. All the bad
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1913-08-28

CONTINUED on Page Nine.)