The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-11-29
Stories of and by Public Men in
Washington.
Speaker Clark Tells . Particu-
larly Good One.
WHY CROOKS STAY IN OFFICE
[llumined by Representative
Reed of New Hampshire.
John Sharp Williams and His
Dinner Invitation.

Washington, D. c., Nov. 29.-In the
house cloakroOm the other day some
one heard Speaker Clark telling a
good story about two members. 1t
seems that there flourished here in
Washington q few years ago q literary
bureau which furnished writer's and
speakers with facts or even whole ser
mons and speeches. The line Of dope"
was guaranteed to fit anything from
a Chinese wedding to Masonic fu-
neral.
Some of the congressman awaited
themselves Of this chance to drink Of
the waters Of learning without the
trouble of even getting q dipper, and
the bureau flourished, turning out
productions of all kinds and sorts at
viii.
The same bureau employee would
write q violent attack on the tariff Dill
train his guns on his late friends. Like
the Hessians. the writer worked Tor
pay. not glory.
But one day he met his Waterloo.
1t seemed that two members OF con-
gress had ordered speeches on exact
" the same subject, unknown, OF
course, to each other. These speeches
were not delivered in the house, but
were given in full in the Congressional
Record under the privilege Of leave
to print Each was a fine, convinc-
ing array OF facts.
"Rut." added the speaker of the
house. "the trouble was that the bu-
reau had sent the same speech to both
men,"
Crooks in Politics.
Representative Reed of New Hamp-
shire, Democratic national commit
teeman from the granite regions. and
mayor of Manchester for q number OF
terms, maintains that in some cases
It is better to continue a crook In pub
lie or private office than to Dust MIN
and get another and untried person
for the place. -.
There are lots Of crooks In poll
tics" said he, land guess that the
reason the people let them stay Is be-
cause they look upon the SITUATION
lust the way the directors OF the Ola
Concord railroad looked on the case OF
a certain conductor of that road whom
we will call Smith. because that was
MT his name.
"Tt was in the beginning of the rail-
road days. This is an old and favorite
story in my family. as the road was
built by my people ana l nave an t eaa-
Nv boyhood recollection OF my motner
telling the yarn to many people.
"Srnith was about the first con-
ductor in that section of the country.
All he had to do was to collect money
and bunch tickets. He didn't have to
make anv returns, there was no chech
on him, and when 1t came time for
him to turn in his receipts he threw
his collections for the week into the
air. The money that came down ne
kept, and the coin which stayed In the
air went to the company.
well. some of the directors began
IN get nervous over Smiths failure to
give the company at least a fifty-fifty
division Of the spoils: 80 they called
him in and told him that his days on
the road were at an end. Smith beg
ged them to reconsider. He told them
that they were mistaken about his dis
honesty, as he had not taken a cent
of theirs for. a long time. In fact. he
said he had accumulated quite enough
money by knocking down fares, and
that for several months he had been
absolutely straight.
Now said he. IT you fire me and
put some one else in my place you'll
have to watch him. and you'n never
break even. have taken all I'm 60
ing to- I have q house and q horse
and carriage and q hundred thou8Ano
dollars In property. What more do
"The directors felt the force Of the
argument and Smith continued to be
driven to his train In his horse and
carriage every day. He died while
in the seryi ice, OF Il tn9 ,, rea1 ms cnl'-
That's why many q crooked poll
tician stays IN office 20 long. He geta
his-and then turns over new leaf- "
Called for . Shave.
Senator John Sharp Williams OF
Mississippi. with an oldtime collar
showing large expanse OF throat and
with grizzled beard OF two or three
days of age. was called to the tele-
phone in the Democratic cloakr0om
on the senate end Of the capitol one
day during the tariff debate:
This Is Colonel Martin, senator"
'sHowdy, kunnel"
1--WE want you to come down to the
Cosmos club to dine with us next
Wednesday, senator"
IAN right. kunnel be glad to be
Wnereupon Senator Williams huns