The Topeka state journal., 1913-11-07

und twef cement patches, und I gif
you 80 cents. I like dot shoe py
O'Clock, so l can see my sister mar
ried."
But don't you understaQd?" says.
"Of course 1 do. You like to get in
ten barrels of shoe pegs, und SO you
cut der price of cement patches in
two to rsake room. 1t vhas ash plain
as der legs on a horse. Seven o'clock,
remember"
"But cement patches vhas feefteen
cexe;."
1t vhas half price, der same as a COON
skin muff."
Don't you read of some tremendous
bargains in der papers?" I says.
"Of course / do. 1 vhas always on
der lookout for bargains"
'Und when you got py dot store do
you find dose bargains? OF course
not. 1t vhas a draw. All der bargains
vhas shust sold oudt, und you buy
some cOrSetS at 81"
mot at bit of it," she says ash she
makes her arms go around. when
go for bargains, 1 get 'em or somepody
don't haf no hair left! I like to see
myself pay 50 for a corset When dey
vhas cut down to 63 cents to make
room for mating und oilclOth. Will
you put on does patches. or shall I
break down dot stovepipe und make
you tired?'
She vhas some dangerous Womans
uAu IL Suc makes u row L VHS1S arrest.
ed. 1 must put on dose patches or she
vhill make troubles, und I work hard
all day to get dot shoe ready. 1t vhas
all cement patches. und 1 pellet lose
half dollar py it. I shall take dot
sign down early in der morning but
pefore 1 haf my breakfast somepody
thumps on der door, und When it vhas
open more ash ten men vhalks in, und
each one says:
''Cobbler, you may put half-price
\ Sc 81,
but I vhas no half-price." 1 says.
Don't talk to us. Half price vhas
seven und q half cents. We vhas come
in pefore it vhas too late, und don't
you try some tricks on us!''
"Shentlemen, listen to me- 1 says,
While my wife weeps und der baby
squalls. IF sOmepOdy likes to make
room for tinware, do you get a necktie
for 10 cents? OF course not. When you
go down to buy. you find der 10-cent
ties all gone, but some fine ones vhas
left at seventy-fife. 1t vhas shust like
dot nit cement patches. I like to make
room for shoepegs but der seven and
nalf patches vhas all gone.'
You vhas some swindlers!"
You vhas some liars!"
You vhas some cheats!"
Dose men call me more ash one hoon-
cred names, und dey shump around till
don't pellet I vhas alive two minutes
more. I try to explain how she vhaS,
und 1 vhas talking AWAY when dot fat
policemans comes in und calls oudt:
Now, py Jupiter. but what vhas all
dis row about?'
Look at dot sign!" says a man.
Yes, see dot sign. It vhas bargains
und spring booms und prices cut in
two. Come in pefore she vhas too
late"
But she vhas too late already" I
says.
'Oh, she vhas? Maybe you vhas mis-
took. She may be too late for me to
come in for patches. but she vhasn't
too latt for you to come out und let
me play NIT you! Cobbler. come FORTH"
dis vhas my busy day."
But he took me py der neck und
vhalks me out, und he bangs me up
up by der wall 10 times und leafs me
like a dead man. When can crawl in.
I lock der door und takes dot sign
down und goes to bed, und when dot
little tailor comes und knocks on der
door und likes to know if 1 can lend
him two hoonered dollars profit
groan and weep und tell him to rouse
! hit her.-(Copyright. 1913, by the Nc
Clure Newspaper Syndicate.)