davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
HEAT AND THE BODY.
We Are Able to Drink Liquids That
Would Scald Our Hands.


The human body can stand far
greater heat If it be dry than if it be
wet, and. strangely enough. it can
stand far hotter liquids inside than
out.
For example, the average tea drinker
sips tea at n temperature of about
40 degrees F.-sometimes as high as
145 degrees. But he cannot bear his
hands in water at 100 degrees or his
feet in water higher than 112 degrees.
Few people can stand u bath in water
at 10c degrees.
In parts OF central Australia men
live in an average Temperature of 115
degrees Il. in the shade and lao de-
gress in the sun, while 151 degrees
has been registered. In the Persian
gulf the thermometers ON ships vary
between 100 degrees and no A re-
cent explorer in the Himalayas re-
ports that he found at 0 a. m. in De
cember and at more than 10000 feet
altitude temperature Of 131 degrees r.
Drs. Bleyden and Chantrey, two Eng
fish scientists. desiring to ascertain
how high temperature the human
body could stand. shut themselves I'm
an oven. of which the heat was gradu-
ally raised and they were able to bear
it until the Thermometer registered 212
degrees T.. the boiling point OF water.
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
FOR NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

FOR SALE-Mill1 route, wagons. horses
and cans. Address B." care Argus.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
COLLECTIONS.

-~~~-~I~-~~~~~-~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~-~~~~~~>
COLLECTIONS MADE-Hard accounts
and claims collected. William Nd.
walker. lawyer. 81 Peoples Bank
building.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

Denver-Army OF Philippines. and
the American Veterans Of Foreign
Service adopted separate resolutions
to merge IN a ncW organization, the
Society of the Army Of the Philippines,
Cuba and Porto Rico.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Cheap, two Excelsior mo-
torcycles, in first class condition. In
Quire Fiebig's, 1919 Third avenue
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
WANTED-sITUATIoNs

~~~-~~~-~~-~-~-~~-~~~~
WANTED-Situation by practical nurse.
Inquire sos Twenty fourth street
Phone Rock Island 1S64-K.
WANTED-PCsitIon at once: exerienc-
ed stenographeri can furnish best of
reference. Call Miss Wall, west 1141.
or west so1-Y, after 6 p. N.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
LEGAL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-~~~ ~--~--~-~~~~~~~~~-~S~-N
Notice OF Publication.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
WANTED-AGESTS

~~~-~~~-~~-~~~--~~~~~-~-~ ~~~~~~~-~~---~O~~~~~~~
WANTED-Agents with some expert.
ence in the portrait line. Apply NJ
Winfield, New Harper, between and
y. m.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR RENT Brand new apartment:
sleeping porch and all other modern
cOnycnienccs; best residence section.
Apply 927Is Twentieth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
FOR SALE-LANDS.

FOR SALE-160 acres; good improve
ments; three miles OF Wyoming, Iowa
$4,000; easy terms. Address M. E., "
caro- Argus.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE - Practically new, modern
eight-room house. with large sleep
ing porch, two blocks from city linn
its and Long View park; three lots,
location and view. Phone west 1850.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Good second hand touring
car. also truck. Phone Rock Island
1345 or inquire 112 Nineteenth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
reR REgT-RoOMs.

FOR RENT-Light housekeeping rooms
at PIT Sixteenth street
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE Two lots, ,50x133 feet;
paving Raid; one block from Long
View park. Inquire 1113 Fifteenth
street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE Wen improved 12O-acre
farm; six miles west of AndaluSia.
For particulars, see Il. j. Schave, the
owner, on the place.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Or trade for city property,
good four-acre truck farm, six
blocks south from depot on FalrvieW
house, well, cistern, and fair out
buildings. A. Hildebrandt, p. o. Box
1853 Milan.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms at 1911
Second avenue. Schmidt hotel.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Five- passenger Overland"
1911 model. cheap If taken at once
Inquire 1906 Third avenue. Phone
Rock Island 1891.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE - One horse, weight 1900
pounds: cheap If taken at once. In
quire $50 Seventeenth street. Phone
Rock Island 629-K
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE - 60-acre farm, well i'm
proved; new eight-room house, good
well, all buildings in good COndi-
tiCn; located three miles southwest of
Milan on RidgewoOd road. j. M.
Scarf, route 2, Milan.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Seven-r room house. all mod
ern; party anxious to sell. For par
ticulars. inquire 929 Seventeenth
street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
LODGE DIRECTORY.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

JACKSON. HURST II STAFFOtSD--At-
torney s-at-lEw. once Ia hock Asiano
National BANK building.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
Executor.r Na1rcr

Rock Island. Ill. Aug. Z. 1918. sf
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

State of Illinois, Rock Isl2nd Coun-
ty-ss:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20

FOR SALE-Large heating stove good
as new; also lot of mixed chickens,
some thoroughbred Leghorns. Call
at 1902 Ninth street.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-08-20
WANTED-MALE HELP.

WANTED-Janitor at West End Set
Element, corner Seventh avenue and
Fifth street.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Hearth.Hunuer.

Beyond the need for bread, WON.
ans needs are two; deeper than all
cravings save the mothers passion.
firm-rooted In our endless past, is the
hearth-hunger. The trees that sweep
my chimney have their roots at the
worlds core! The flowers in my door
yard have grown there for a thousand
years! What millenniums have done,
shall decades undo? We are not so
shallow. so plastic as that! We will
go into the mills, the shops, the Off
ces, If we must, but we know we are
off the track of life Neither our de-
sire nor our power Is there. "-Cornelia
A. p. Conner, In Atlantic.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

mired tailors' dummies" said Mrs.
Merriwid. II remember one IN partic-
ular who was my ideal and | never ap-
preached the shop window where he
was displayed without palpitation Of
my maiden heart. He had real hair
eyelashes and mustache and | used to
wonder how much money 1t would
take to buy him. Even now | think
/ might do worse. There are Neveral
things to admire about tailors' dunn
mics, apart from their being decided
ly personable and exceedingly well
dressed. You always know where to
find them and they haven't any bad
habits"
81 like to see a man careful in his
attire" declared Aunt Jane.
Il do, too" agreed Mrs Merriwid
Heaven preserve me from sloppy
persons of either sex, but think that
an hour or two Of serious thought
on the subject in one day is about as
much as man can afford to give II
he has anything else to attend to-
and expect any husband of mine to
pay little attention to me. Poor
dear Henry Merriwid belonged to a
pressing club, in connection with a
pantatorium, but he didn't let it d.
vert his mind from the dry-salting and
ship chandlery business to any appre-
ciable extent, and he put reasonable
amount OF his time at my disposal
Henry had a theory that a man
couldn't achieve success without bag
ging his trousers at the knees now
and then, and occasionally ripping a
seam and losing suspender button.
I'm not sure that he wasn't right.
II know that there are nifty dress
ers in history whose names are still
rumbling and reverberating down the
bowling alleys Of time" pursued Mrs.
Me7riwid. q cant call TO mind lust
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
HE CARRIED AN UMBRELLA.

A dear old lady who was very "sot"
IN her pre1udices was asked Just why
she didn't like a certain man. she had
no particular reason that she could
think of at the instant, but she had been
SO emphatic in her expression of dis.
like that she knew she would have to
md some excuse-at once. Just at that
moment she happened to glance out of
the window and saw him passing by.
He carried neatly rolled umbrella
though 1t hardly threatened rain.
Quick as flash she answered her
questioner, He carries an umbrella
whether it's raining or not-he is a
'softie'''
But" said her friend, also looking
out of the window. here comes your
son William, and he is carrying an UNI.
brella."
This did not stump the old lady. but
that's another matter-I don't like him
anyhow-and besides, it all depends on
who carries the umbrella" she replied
triumphantly.
That is the position some people have
taken regarding that wholesome and
refreshing beverage Coca-Cola. They
/. have said a good many unkind things
about it and in each instance have had
1t proved to them that their tales were
not true.
Finally they seized upon the fact that
Coca-Cola gets much of its refreshing
righteousness from the small bit of caf.
feline that it contains. They looked upon
that as splendid argument against it,
Then, like the old lady who was remind.
ed of son William, they were reminded
that 1t is the caffeine in their favorite
beverages, tea and coffee, teven more
than In Coca-Cola) that gives them
their refreshing and sustaining quail
ties.
But does that stop their criticism OF
Coca-Cola for containing caffeine? No
their answer is similar to the old
lady's-they say But that's another
matter'-what they mean is Being
prejudiced against Coca-Cola and lik.
ing tea or coffee, it all depends on
what carries the caffeine"
We think the joke is on them.-for
caffeine is caffeine, and if it is not
harmful in one 1t can't be harmful in
another. We all know that 1t is not
harmful in tea or coffee-that it is
really helpful in whatever it is--this
is bound to include Coca.Cola
OF course, the truth is, that having
started an attack on false premises and
having had what they thought were
good reasons for criticism proved to
be no reasons at all, they are grasping
at an excuse which does not exist, to
explain prejudice. So you zee, a.ter
all, 1t all depends on who carries the
umbrella to people who are determined
to be unfair. Let us be fair.-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Anecdotal,

Menelaus was king Of ancient Laco-
MIA, and being such, he deemed 1t only
his duty to be as laconic as possible,
so, in a manner of speaking, to set the
pace for the people.
Now, his wife was none other than
the beautiful Helen, and. of course, the
day came at last when she wanted q
new hat. Could she have 1t?
NO" replied MenClaus.
Just because no is letter shorter
than yes!' protested Helen, and burs'
into tears, and at the first chance rar
away with Paris,--Puck.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
ECZEMA DISFIGURED FACE

Hampton Springs. Fla-'T had had &C.
zema on my face and hands for about
three years. My face was badly dis
figured. The eczema broke out in
pimples and itched SO very badly
would scratch 1t all the time. 1t was
the most irritating disease ] ever had
1t started on my face and hands and
1t spread all over my body. had
great large sores all over me, caused
from the eczema, 1t bothered me day
and night SO that | could not rest
at all.
Il used three remedies for skin dis
ease and they didn't give relief at all
was almost terrified until a friend
recommended Cuticura Soap and ONT
ment to me. They helped me from
the time started to use them. | only
used two cakes Of Cuticura Soap and
two boxes of Cuticura Ointment and
was cured (Signed) Mrs. e. C. Park
er. Dec 7, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample Of each
ee,with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. l., Boston, ADV.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Identified Himself.

The whizzing motor car struck a
stump, and one of the occupants OF the
back seat, lady possessed of consid.
cradle embonpoint, executed neat
but not gaudy parabola in the atmos.
phere and alighted by the roadside
like polypus falling from shot
tower
Il don't believe have broken any
bones" she stated, in reply to the in.
quiry Of the omnipresent bystander;
but there is a lump on this bank
that"
"Lump-nuthin'!" snarled a smoth.
cred voice. "Im the constable that's
goin' to arrest you goshdurney joy
riders. If | live!"-Judge.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Same Thlnu,

In the early days of Arizona, an ell
derby and pompous chief justice was
presiding at the trial of murder case
An aged negro had been ruthlessly
killed. and the only eye witness to the
murder was very small negro boy
When he was called to give his testi-
mony, the lawyer for the defense OBJ.
jected on the ground that he was too
young to know the nature of an oath.
and in examining him asked
What would happen to you If you
told a lie?"
de debbil nd git mel" the boy re-
piled.
Yes, and I'd get you" sternly said
the chief justice.
Oats JUS what said!" answered
the EDUCATIONAL Monthly.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

no better. They told me there was no
help without an operation. / have used
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and it has helped me wonderfully.
l do most of my own work now and take
care of my children. recommend your
remedies to all suffering women. -
Mrs. WILLARD A. GRAHAM, Care Of
ELLSWORTH FUTILE, Rovina Center, NY.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotics or harmful
drugs, and today holds the record Of
being the most successful remedy we
know for woman's ills, If you need such
medicine why don't you try it?
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia IL. Pinlsham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound will help you, write
toLydia E.Pinkham Medicine Co.
(confidential) Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Eooed of.

De Wolf Hopper. at luncheon in
New York, said of bad actor:
He's had hints enough to quit the
stage, dear knows. He's had more
hints than Phatt.
"Phatt, after a brief experience on
the road as Hamlet returned to his
job in Canal street.
"'How did you come to leave the
stage?' | asked him one night
81 had hints that | wasn't suited to
it, he replied.
Thinking he meant the critics,
said:
AHA, the little birds told you, eh?'
."'Well, said he, they'd have become
birds, suppose, If they'd been allowed
to hatch "
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Her Furs Put Out Fire.

Al Baum, manager OF the Crystal
Theater of Manitowoc, Wis, Is minus
one perfectly good coat. and his wife
a set OF furs as result Of Baums
action In smothering a fire which
started in the theater and threatened
destruction of the place. One OF the
moving picture films became ignited in
some unknown manner and Baum,
grabbing the first thing at hand, seized
his overcoat and at the same time his
wife's furs on the same hook to ex-
tinguish the fire. He succeeded, but
stands to lose SIS, the value of the
coat and furs. in addition to the 800
for the film.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

who they we're at the present mo-
ment. but I've been told there are sew
eral. and there are quite few in con-
temporary fiction. Just the same, you
cant make me believe that the real
live wires gave any large number OF
whoops whether their history harmo
nized with their neckwear or not. |
have a suspicion that Christopher Co
lumbus wasn't as we'll tailored, by any
means. as the pictures on the cigar
boxes make him out, and that George
Washingtons ruffies weren't always
just so.
Far be 1t from me to countenance
by word or deed any combination or
coalition of silk hat and sack coat, !"
Mrs. Merriwid protested 81 don't think
that tan shoes are compatible with
evening dress, or that pajamas should
be worn at breakfast, except on the
most informal occasions, but would
never spurn an honest heart because
its owner had four buttons on his cut.
away when three were indicated by
the best authorities on snappy styles
for smart sasslety. Mr. Spickan would
die of shame IL he were obliged to
wear anything inappropriate, and a
misfit would give him At, II he has
deep and abiding contempt for any
body on earth, it's for the man who
puts his pocket handkerchief in his
pocket when it ought to be tucked In
side his shirt cuff Now what woman
In her senses would want man like
THAR?
81 should think good many might,
Aunt Jane ventured.
Then she would miss one Of the
chief joys of having a husband" said
Mrs. Merriwid. she wouldn't be able
TO fuss over the condition his clothes
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
plant That Catches Its Food.

The common bladderwort, an
aquatic plant, not only defends itself
against insects and animals, but
catches worms and fish for its food,
AS it floats underneath the surface OF
the water its leafy branches spread
out in all directions Its leaves are
covered with little oval bladders filled
with air, and at one end Of each blsd'
der is cavity which leads into the
mouth below. Inside the bladder IL
small trap door which opens when
pressure is put on it. A small worm
or small fish can enter this door
but they can never come out.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

were in. or scold him when he got his
clothes a mass of wrinkles lying down
In it. She wouldn't get a chance to
insist on his standing still while she
removed a grease spot with benzine.
and he wouldn't even let her tie his
scarf Even If didn't care for these
perennial and precious privileges. Mr..
Spickan would never do for me. I'm
rather afraid I'm fond of dress, my
self"
Il don't think there is any room for
doubt on that head" said Aunt Jane,
emphatically.
We'll, there wouldn't be closet
room, so that settles that" said Mrs
Merriwid.
Copyright. 1918. by w. q. Chapman)
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
MELISSA WOULD NOT LOOK WITH
FAVOR UPON A FASHION.
PLATE,

A thing OF beauty is a Joy for
ever" quoted Mrs. Merriwid, as she
opened a newly arrived box of candy
and passed it to her maternal maiden
aunt Jane. Tell me If they're good.
dearie. I'm getting little particular
about what ! eat
They certainly look pretty" re-
marked Aunt Jane. Il entertain some
doubt OF their lasting qualities, how
ever" She made prin little grimace
of distaste. It's pistache." she said.
and | don't like pistache. May l try
another, Melissa"
Go as far as you like, loved one"
said Mrs. Merriwid. II wasn't refer
ring to the candy, though; was
thinking of the beauteous thing who
sent it, Don't you think Mr.. Spickan
is beautiful"
He is decidedly personable," he,
piled Aunt Jane, land an exceedingly
we'll dressed man"
I'm afraid he is" sighed her niece.
." Exceedingly is the word, dear
aunt He dresses to excess and he
hasn't the transparent waxy complex
ion and set smirk to go with 1t, not
to mention the fact that he wears
real shoes, which Is a discordant note
in the general harmony of his appear
ance. There's always some draw
back to man when you consider
lNt f,,ll
Il suppose there is, although am
not an authority, and | don't know
exactly what you mean," Aunt Jane
answered
II mean that have always. from
happy twIn-braided girlhood days. ad.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Then What Did Papa Do?

When one dish was passed, mamma
said she just loved to eat of 1t, but
that the food would not agree with
her. Paxton said he liked bananas.
but he didn't dare eat them.
Then Jean, the ive-yearold, said:
Il love watermelon, but | can't eat 1t. !"
why can't you eat watermelon p
said papa.
Because you don't buy me any,
she said,
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
QUININE and lRON-THE MOST
EFFECTUAL GENERAL TONIC
Groves Tasteless chill Tonic Combines both
In Tasteiess form. The Ouiaine drives
out Mslaria and the Iron builds up
the System. For Adults and
Children.

You know what you are taking when
YOU take GROVES TASTELESS chill
TONIC, recognized for 80 years through
out the South as the standard Malaria,
Chill and Fever Remedy and General
Strengthening Tonic. II is as strong as
the strongest bitter tonic, but you do not
taste the bitter because the ingredients
do not dissolve in the mouth but do dis
solve readily in the acids of the stomach.
Guaranteed by your Druggist. We mean
it. Soc.
There is Only One "BROMo QU1NINE
Iook for signature OF Z, w. GROVE on {
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Looking Ahead.

Little Nora (aged eight, to Edith,
aged ten)-What! A big girl like
you playing with a Teddy bear?
Edith-Yes, haven't you got one?
Nora-Mine is locked up in the cup
board. where it shall stop until | am
married, when / may bring it out for
my children to play with.
Edith--What II you don't have any
children?
Nora-Well, then, In that case 1t
will do for nv grandchildren
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
As TO the Manner Born.

There was change in curates in the
parish, and shortly afterwards one of
the prominent men of the congregation
asked his chauffeur:
How do you like the new curate,
Barney"
"Middlin'," replied Barney; but he
can't come up to the old one. Twas
himself could tell ye all about hell.
Shure, to hear him describin' it, you'd
think he was bred. born and reared
there. "-Harper's.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
La. the Poor Amerloanl

Hagop Barasyjian of Fitchburg and
Menad Estabobrakamasian of Lowell
went fishing yesterday in Lake Charg.
oggagoggmanchaugagoggchaubunagu n
gamaug, near Worcester with their
cousin, Haijjoman Saralaneroparanian,
whom they are visiting for the week
end. but you would never have learned
it from us II we hadn't been able to
paste it.-Boston Globe.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

now. 1 was very
young when my first
baby was born and
my health was very
bad after that. T
was not regular and
/ had pains in my
back and was so
poorly that l could
hardly take care of
my two children. I
doctored with sew
eral doctors Int GOT
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Teaching Safety In Schools.

Instruction in methods for the pre-.
vention of accidents must be given by
the teachers of the public schools Ct
New Jersey 30 minutes during each
month hereafter, according to bill
passed by the legislature OF 1913,
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18

rs your new beau good to you,
Mame2"
Good to me? should say he is
He picks out the ten-cent movies to
take me to-"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
No. SIX-SIxTY-SIx

This is prescription prepared es-
pecially for Malaria or ChiiIs and
Fever. Five or six doses will break
any case, and If taken then as tonic
the fever will not return. 25c.-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Real Influence.

Let me write the songs of a ma
tion," said the ready made philoso-
pher land l care not who makes the
laws"
Il won't go quite so far as that, "
replied Senator Sorghum; but let me
write the amendments and ! care not
who draws up the bills"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
New Woman.

Mrs. Knicker-Are you going to take
a course In, business college?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes want to find out
how to get more money out of Jack.
Judge.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Expert Opinion.

What do you have to say to all this
gossip about Miss Maude's heavy in
tellectual eyebrows?"
81 don't believe they are as black as
they are painted"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1913-09-18
Corrugated.

Inquisitive Friend-Don't you find
that your wife is very subject to
moods?
Enpeck-No; she has only one mood,
the imperative, and I'm the one that's
subject to that! Judge.