New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-23
AS ] WAS SAYING

?? ??
There you have it, gentemen-our answer to the
questions that now divide the world-such, for In
stance, as:
Which Governor is which, and, il so, who?
Did the reply come from Huerta, as alleged or
from Harry?
Is white slave" trial really the cutest way to
Find the most peaceable name, II any for the
Episcopal Church?
Is there a yellow streak in Brer Johnson, or can
We hope that he will exterminate the London music
hall artist?
How many additional millionaires are throwing
themselves under railway trains so as to he nursed
by lovely Lillian?
Why is the summer slipping by without help from
the sea-serpent, the crime-wave. the Duke OF the
Abruzzi, and the latest new Mrs. Nat Goodwin!
And finally, that burning question at Mattea"ah'
What shall we do with our ex-residents?
Dear! dear! we ought not to have said 'hnally'"
There remains the awful stcker How Can Edu-
cate Ny Child at Home
Give 1t up II he is young enough send the niue
shaver to Harvard. If not then wait. and try some
college. But here We tread dangerous ground
ground shaken by a battle OF giants ACCORDING 10
Mr. Edward w Box. our colleges are raging roar
ing hot beds of bad grammar and worse spelling
many many faults, but serve a useful purpose Tor
all that Not without shudders We side with Urine.
When Precious becomes abominabe at home and
cannot be allowed large with credit 10 the uloe
a college is perhaps the least cruel place In Which
to impound him. Incidentally, he VIII learn ny
observing the Faculty he will acquant himself win
our leading Jokes. BY observing the students ne
will learn TO dress.
M
portant art more nimbly by studying with our &C
complishcd gunner. but We doubt II the colleges
have declined.
Oh. the horse blanket listers Of our day-their
marvellous capes with Innings of purple yellow ana
pink; their hoods lined with crimson or pale blue
and those tassels There has been rebellion IN
Ulster since then Guess why
But grand was the pageant Of color while II lasted
And 90 fayorably received, We even had our imi-
tators Imagine the thrill Of proud satisfaction when
Uncle 'Rastus crossed the one Sunday after
noon Respondent in red and green bathrobc topped
off with a silk hat,
Have YOU never wondered what becomes Of our
American humorists? II is a battling problem to
many They watch humorists rise to riches ana
glory. see him get funnler day by day predict that
the world will die OF laughing unless he Is checked
Then all Of sudden-gone, Where. they have no
notion.
SO let us explain. a nggardly ponurious race the
humorists save their money. when they have enough
to risk IT, they satisfy the fondest wish Of humor-
lists heart. Which is?
To set up ms a college tailor.
There has been quite betwxt Brothers
Julian Street and James Montgomery Fagg. Ac-
cording TO Julian the frisky lady sat at the heros
left but in James Montgomery's illustration she sits
1fc a
artist defends himself. Says Il was at that din
nor and Julian wasn't and he's all wrong about
where the frsky lady sat
This should settle the point but We regret that
so painful a spat between friends should ever nave
occurred Hereafter trust that our magazines
will follow the happy custom that prevails in Eng
land. Pictures first Stories afterward
It saws in THE Ladies' Home Journal" that the
man hurried into quck-luncn restaurant qua caiieo
to the waiter:
"Give ham sandwich
"yessfr." said the waiter will you eat II here or
take it with YOU"
Both" said the patron.
Which strikes us as an inspiring example OF opl-
mism and perhaps the most chvalrous compliment
ever bestowed upon quick-iunch ham sandwich
An, brethren. YOU miss lot II you neglect the L.
H. j. An inch or two further down the column we
read that the twin boys bedroom reverberated with
mingled sounds Of weeping and wild laughter 30
Father went up to look into 1t.
whats the matter up here?" he inquired
The Joyous twin indicated his weeping brother
"Nothing" he chucked "only Nurse has given
Alexander two baths and hasn't given me any"
Whoa. L. H. j.. This IL monstrous! We are soft
on twins and resent such injustice to Alexander
Bro. who II we know them land darned II we dono,
were much too dirty for the above swindle.
r. l.. II.