The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-04-25
ABatch Of

\ man from the city Went to a
small country town in New Hampshire
to pass his vacation. At the station
ne took the stage. which was drawn
by two dilapidated horses, and found
that he had no smaller bill than a Ave
dollar one, which he handed to the
driver. 4
The driver looked at 1t for a mo-
ment and then said: which horse
do YOU ?'-Everybody's Maya
zine.
When Grover Cleveland's little girl
was quite young her father once tele.
phoned to the White House from Chi.
cago and asked Mrs. Cleveland to
bring the child to the phone. Lifting
the little n up to the instrument,
Mrs. Cleveland watched her express
sion change from bewilderment to
wonder and then to fear. 1t was sure.
~ her fathers voice-yet she looked
examining the tiny opening in the re-
eetver the little girl burst into tears.
"Oh, mamma" she sobbed. How
can We ever get papa out Of that lit
tie hole?"
A milkman in a country town not
iar from New York was brought be-
fore the local court to answer a
charge Of ad~ulteration Of milk.
You are CHARGED" said the Judge.
with d most serious offense, of SELL
ing adulterated milk. Have you any
thing to say in answer to the charger"
We'll. your worship" answered the
milkman, the night before 1t was
raining very hard and the only cause
l can give is the row must have got
wet through.-Harper's Weekly.
a negro boy was brought up IN a
police court for the fifth time on a
charge Of chicken stealing and the
magistrate decided to try the effect of
an appeal 70 the boys father, Now.
this boy Of yours has been in court
SO many times for stealing chickens
that I'm tired OF seeing him here"
All, don't blame you, sah!" replied
the father: "Ah's tired o. seeing him
here. too Then why don't you
teach him how to act? Show him the
right way. so that he Won't be coming
mere again" "Ah has shown him the
right way, sah." declared the old man.
earnestly. All has suttinly showed
him the right way; but, spite that,
he somehow keeps getting caught
comm way wild dose chickens."-Na-
tional Food Magazine.
The conversation turned to pro-
pOsals Of marriage and several OF
those present were laughingly won
dering II any man ever got on his
knees to ask his girl. to share his joys,
sorroWs and salary. when Representa-
tive Campbell Of Kansas gently pried
his way into the gabfest.
seems to he :. in
Kansas WIN rea1kC did The Enrc1Sn,
sentative. He called on the Joy of
soon as the parlor was cleared tor
action he stared to propose.
Darling he passionately cried,
throwing himself on his knees before
her and; rolling his eyes toward the
can't you guess that ] love you??::
WELL was the rather chilling re.
spouse Of the girl as she gazed at the
asttated youth before her, 7 would
hate to think that this is just YOUR
natural way of acting before com-
pany.'"
DR.. Woods Hutchinson was once
called upon by a young matron who
had read his article on Fat and Its
Fo]lies' ] II a popular magazine, and
wanted him to help her get rid Of
some of her fat. After a few qucs-
tons he handed the lady q diet list,
telling her to come back in two weeks
The good DOCTORS CONSERVATION can
scarcely be imagined when he saw his
patient again. She weighed twenty
pounds more. He was puzzled. His
list contained no sweets Of any kind,
nor any fat producers, Yet 1t was put
ing flesh on at an enormous rate.
You are sure that you ate the
things on the list?" the doctor qucs-
toned severely.
Yes. doctor" was the firm answer.
What else did you eat?" as q sud.
den inspiration seized him.
Why, nothing bn, my regular
ippncott's.