Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1913-11-29

ed with an active mind and a faculty Of
expressing what desired to say, Is 1t
possible that my sojOurn In the college
Of penance has so tagged my intellect
that | will be compelled to learn the
sign language to make known my
vents? hope not, for have so much
70 learn.
The use of the telephone, for one
thing. The day following my release l
went into Il cigar store with the inten-
ton Of using the phone. I saw the APP
raratus. l looked it over-l was very
thorough in looking it over. l glanced
over my shoulder to see if any one was
wat ching me-and looked some moro.
never delivered any message over
that phone. have learned since that it
was an automatic one. Maybe 1t was,
hut | couldn't discover wherein 1t was
automatic.
never will forget the conductor of
the street car who taught me how to
pay as you enter" l tished up the re-
Quired nickel and, Of course, proffered
it to him.
couldn't understand why he refused
to take it. or the queer expression on
his face, or the radient smile that sud-
denly lit up his countenance, until he
reached over and whispered:
Drop it in the slot. 1t will all seem
new to you for a few days, but you will
get used to it,"
Will I?
Yes, it's great to be an ex-convict! l
have no respect for the sufferings OF
the fellows who got in bad with the
chaps who controlled the machinery Of
the Spanish inquiston. Their little,
dlnlly sufferings, compared with the
tC rture-eXQuiStie torture-of the man
just released from prison, are like
comparing sweet repose with the an
ticipations Of the man on the business
end of the hangman's rope.
For an A No. unadulterated misery,
try five or ten years in the pententiary,
just for the experience of the week or
two following your discharge Then
you will understand why artists are so
peevish about their local color, atmos-
phere and the other things they parade
cOnversationally but never use; why
Eante is the greatest literary impress
sionist, and the point to the cold
shoulder pun that has been travelling
through the different neighborhoods for
these many centuries.
And that is about as fast as you will
get, for some w-fangled invention
of the master man will cause you to
nearly jump out Of the $3.50 raiment
the sovereign state of Texas in its
large heartedness provided you with
to do the rehabilitating stunt. Then,
perhaps, as you are trying TO muster
the few remaining glimmerings Of in
telligence that the old slave driving
sergeants forgot to rob you Of you will
remember reading something Of JAY
walking ordinance in the City Of HOus-
ton, and like Second Story Pete in the
movies, you will start violently, expect
ing the stern hand Of the law to grab
you by the shoulder.
1t Is possible that you might not
think along these lines, but wonder
what your thoughts would be If you
just finished a "jolt,' had been DRESS
ed out" and gone down to hotel to
get lodging for the night: arranged
yourself for the sleep that you knew
you were not going to have. and were
musing about. well. say the yacht
races or your collection of golf clubs
or something equally appropriate to the
man would enter your room to get
into his (the adjoining one), and you
would hear him walking to and fro
several times.
Wouldn't you figure that he was a
little nervous? And then If you heard
the bumps Of furniture being removed
and corresponding thuds on the oppo-
site side of the door, wouldn't you think
he was barricading his room, and
would you wonder why? How would
you feel? l wonder who told him!
That's how I felt.
III wager this careful John had as
much as SO in the pockets Of his 1905
vintage pantaloOns. Oh, it's great to be
an ex!