davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal., 1913-06-20

MuFFLED KNOCKS.

"That wig OF yours Is wonderful
Improvement, Mr. Weldon; 1t concaals
the shape Of your head
They slandered you, old chap.
when they said you had bigger load
last night than you could carry. You
carried 1t beautifully"
You're looking fine, BiIderback. for
man who eats too much, drinks too
much. and takes too much rest. ;,
/ You and your neighbors seem to.
get along splendidly. Mrs. Fladger; I
suppose they have become used to
your peculiarities."
& I'd take your note, old boy. for.
any amount not exceeding SO cents"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Camera Mans Fault.

MY! Isn't this a thrilling moving
picture! Real lions In the jungles
OF Africa"
@Ahem! Do you suppose there are
any billboards. in the jungles Of AT.
rica?'
Il guess not. Why do you ask ~.
Gust now caught glimpse Of
something through a rift in the
Jungle underground that looked very
much like an advertisement OF some
body's perfect fitting clothes"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20

and at the left side. A wreath Of half
bloom roses, beautifully shaded ex-
tends about the crown and over the
brim following the line of the head.
and disappearing when the droop be-
gins at the back. A small ribbon
ornament made Of two crushed loops
gives a finishing touch. which is re-
markably original in mounting and al
together clever.
A parasol covered with the same
silk as that used In covering the
crown, is finished with the ribbon
used on the brim It's handle Is Of
natural wood finished with heavy
white silk tassel. Isn't 1t pretty?
JULIA BoTToMLEY.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
breaking il Gently.

Maid Thieves got into a house in
this street last night and stole all the
silver.
Mistress what stupid people to
leave things unlockedi Whose house
was 1T"
Maid-"It was No. q"
Mistress Why, that is our housei"
Maid Yes, ma'am, but ! did not
want to frighten you" Judge.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
His Advertising chance.

II suppose the parents OF young
Lord Softpate must feel dreadfully
cut up over his engagement to little
Tottie Poser of the Gayety.'
"Cut up! Why. say. II 1t wasn't for
Tottie nobody would ever have known
that -Softie had any parents! "-Cleye.
land Plain Dealer.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
BREAKING Ii to Him Gently.

Breaking Il to Him Gently.
Il would like to get q vacation for
two weeks"
This is very busy time with US.
Why do you want vacation7'
Il have made arrangements to get
married"
ITO get married? Why. my boy.
you cant support a wife on your
salary?"
Il know, but thought If got mar
ried you might be willing to give.
me raise. You see, the lady is your
daughter
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
RrIahtenIna the Hair.

TO brighten blonde hair; add juice
of half lemon and one teaspoonful
OF salts of tartar to the first water
Of the shampoo. Rinse thoroughly.
Some people find about half wine
glass Of light-colored ale. used in the
water once a week, or every two
weeks. keeps the hair light.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Moi the Same.

81 suppose the writer had poets
license to say what he did"
"Wherer did he get his license. popf
Was it the same place where we got
our dogs?"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
He Knew Better.

MAY 1t please your honor" said a
lawyer, addressing one Of the judges.
az brought the prisoner from jail on
q habeas corpus"
WELL" said man in an undertone,
who was standing in the rear of the
court, these lawyers will say any
thing, saw the man get out of the
taxi at the court door,"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Oh, These Womenl /

Patricia-I've heard some perfectly
awful stories about your husband.
Clarice- oh. do tell them to me!
Perhaps can make him give me
new gown or two.-Judge.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20

Manager Of Charity SocietyPut
that $50 that Mr.. Blowhardt gave In
the vanity fund.
Secretary Why?
Manager of Charity Society He
only gave it to please his vanity.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Pampered pitcher.

Didn't I see you turn on the electric
light just now?" demanded the man
ager Of the ball team severely.
"You did," admitted the $4,000
pitcher.
always call a bellboy to do that.
You gotta take care Of that wing"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Way out.

Kicker-A Judge has ruled that a
woman shouldn't spend more on
clothes than on rent.
Mrs. Knocker-Well, then, we shall
have to pay higher rent.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20

Her Father-I've no objections to
your marrying my daughter. but !
hope you've got good digestion.
Her Suitor-Why?
Her Father Well, she's been going
to cooking school for the last two
months. @
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
An Annel. AIl Rlnht.

Bacon: "And you say his wife
keeps record Of everything he does7"
Egbert Yes; that is why he calls
her HIS recording angel you know"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
hia Idea.

II understand" said the Married
Man in the art, gallery. why the
Venus Of Milo is considered the ideal
woman
What's the Rnswer?"
Being armless, she couldn't 60
through her husbands pockets. /"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
Tha TraInInn.

Il don't want my boy to be fast
when he grows up What sort Of
training should / give him?"
why not make him q messeHger
boyq"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
HIs Fear.

Russian czars do not seem to care
much about going to Finland"
Naturally. There is always pros
pect that II they go there they will
see their Finnish"
The midland journal., 1913-06-20

Spectator Cat (Marathon race to
runner far behind) Hurry up-you'll
win yet.
Runner-Shut upl don't belong to
that bunch In front. I'm the first man
Of another bunch behind.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20
looking Back

Looking Back.
remember, i remember.
It was long ago. guess,
When Little Annie Rooney
Was the reigning song success.
The midland journal., 1913-06-20


@Why, Lucy--Miss Bentwich." ne
looked at her curiousiy
She me- 10 to pass him, but as he
did not make way for her, she was
compelled to wait The woman at her
side waited calmly.
You're sick you're going home?y
he said, vague note Of alarm in his
voice.
mo, am not ILL" she cried. Are
you going to deny your own wife in
my presence?"
my wife?" asked Branscombe. and
his eyes fell casually upon the wom-
an at Lucy's side. She might have
been a stone.
my wifss | have no wife, he
said. eat present. Why? What do
you mean7"
Wont You speak to him?" cried
Lucy in agonized tones to her com
panion.
s.But I have not been introduced to
this gentleman" she answered.
..You are not Mrs. Branscombe.
them" cried Lucy.
Il am Mrs. Madeleine Follett.
thought that would at least be clear
to you.o replied the lady in offended
tones.
"FolIett!" exclaimed Branscombe.
..Why. that's the lawyer on the sixth
floor, Immediately under my Office,
why. Lucy. what on eartn possesses
The border vidette., 1913-06-14
Mrs. Harrison Entertains.

Last Tuesday afternoon at the beautiful country home of Sen ator and Mrs. James A. Harri- son, half hundred NogaleS society ladies, were entertained in a most delightful manner, bridge whist and other card games being the diversion of the afternoon. A delicious two course luncheon was served by the charming hostess, and those present pronounced Mrs. Harri- sons At Home," one of the most enjoyable of the season.
 The ladies present were Mes danes John E. Mcintyre, Phil Herold, Otto H. Herold, George Fielder, Ferd Van Mourick, Ed. Titcomb, H. M. Clagett, I. Bur goon, A. T. Bird, A. M. Conard, A. B. Richmond, Francis J. Hobson, H. w. Kelsey, c. P. Cronin, Ben Ashbey, E. L. Chal- fant, D. P. Smelling, A. A. Do- herty, W. G. Bowman, H. M. Corl, Y. Bonillas, V. A. Smelk- CT, w. H. Eilers, George B. Marsh, H. s. Creighton, M. H. Barr, Frank Fitch, Lulu Red doch Wood, E. M. Mather, W. A. O'Connor, Bass, J. E. Wise, Theron Richardson, Karns, Barr, Wise, A. l.. Gustetter, A. J. Milliken, J. l.. Pope, c. l.. FOw Ter; Misses Ethel Dohtrty, Jose phine Mix, Sykes.
The border vidette., 1913-06-14
Back to the Buckeye State.

Hon. John Farragher, A. B. X l.. l.. B., who like Attorney Frank J. Barry of this city, is a graduate of Notre Dame Univer- sity, Indiana, after enjoying a delightful visit at the pleasant country home of his friend near NogaleS, has returned to the old Buckeye State. Youngstown, Ohio, being his residence at the present time.
 Jack" Farragher, as he is affectionately called by intimate members of the press and politi- cal clubs. is a prince of good fellows, who delights in making his fellows happy, and as a re- suit readily makes friends, good ones too, wherever he goes. During his short visit here with his old friend Barry, whom he travelled two thousand miles to see, Jack" made many friends, all of whom will be pleased to learn that he contemplates re- turning to Santa Cruz county to personally look after a mine he hopes will develop into world beater.
 Not even money could spoil Jack Farragher, and we hope to see him make a million, then some.
The border vidette., 1913-06-14
A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR
Personal Representative of President
 Wilson in Nogales.

NogaleS was honored by the presence Monday and Tuesday of Honorable R. F. del Valle, of Los Angeles, Cal, personal son and Secretary Bryan, and spoken of in the press as the possible successor to Henry Lane Wilson as Ambassador of the United States to Mexico.
 Mr. del Valle has been dele gated in a personal capacity. to study the actual situation in Mexico and to offer his personal services in the direction of an amicable settlement of difficult ieS there.
 To a representative of THE VIDETTE MT. del Valle said:
 It is inexact that have been named United States Ambassa. dor to Mexico. I bear abso- lutely no commission from the United States government to the government of Mexico, simply being personal com missioner from Mir. Wilson and MT. Bryan to express their per- Sonal opinions and personal sen timents of sympathy and friend ship to the Mexican people.
 In accepting this commission l have done so with the greatest pleasure and the ardent desire to be able to serve Mexico in any way. My parents were MeXicans and I shall do all in my power for the welfare and early blishment of peace in the neighboring Republic.
 1 can assure you that there never have existed in the gov ernment of the United States sentiments of humanity and sympathy for Mexico so genuine as at present.
 My mission might be termed a study of the actual situation of the Republic,' for which pur- pose I shall visit revolutionary points as well, and subsequently, the capital of the Republic, to offer my services to secure, if possible, a friendly solution of matters and bring bloodshed to an end.
 I know nothing as to any ap- pointment as Ambassador"
 Mr. del Valle did not disguise the fact that he was agreeably surprised at the reception he re- ceived here from inndElerable gentlemen representing the var ious parties and phases of Mex ican conditions, and at the eagerness and courtesy he en- countered in the giving of facts that might be beneficial in the solution of the civil strife be- setting our sister Republic. It was MT. del Valle's sincere wish that his visit might be product i've of good results and strenthen the bonds of friendship existing between the two great Republics.
 President Wilson and Secre- tary Bryan are to be cOngratu- lated on their selection of R. F. del Valle. He is highly edu- cated Democratic California gen tleman of great wealth and political power, possessed of a most pleasing personality and manner, as well as a most laud- able desire to get an actual knowedge of Mexican affairs.
 After visiting Hermosillo, he will continue to Ciudad Juarez, Ciudad Porfirio Diaz, and thence to Mexico City. He was ac- companied as far as Nogales by his charming wife and daughter, Lucrecia, the two ladies return ing to California from here.
The border vidette., 1913-06-14

me handsome SCorllnS SllVef
 trophy to be presented to the
 member of the Nogales Baseball League making the best batting
 record during the season by E. J. Pellegrin, the jeweler and stationer, and E. M. Mather, i the matchmaker and Optician, has arrived and is on exhibition i in their big show window on Morley avenue. Manager c. H. Hector of the International Drug Co.,, will also give a valuable trophy to the batter making the most runs during the season. Hump yourselves boys and win those handsome medals.
 George H. Miller, prominent banker of Mulberry, Indiana, who for number of years has been financially interested in La O. briza Mining Company, has for the past week or ten days been a guest at the National hotel. Mr. Miller has visited this sec tion a number of times during the past five years, and now feels very much at home here. He is greatly impressed with our glorious climate and wonder ful mineral and other resources. He may decide to come here to locate permanently. Pending the settlement of strife in So nora between the HuertiStaS and ConStitutiOnaliStS, active opera tions at La Cobriza have ceased, but President Emery is impa- tiently waiting to resume work. where he and his able assistants were compelled to quit.
 Ed. Lanier and Walter Striclx- land last Wednesday visited Pa tagonia, returning the same day. They report unusual activity there on account of number of new important strikes in mines near town, of ore rich enough to ship from the grass roots. They say Frank Howard, well known here and in Sonora. has encountered a wonderful body of copper ore on the mine he re- gently leased, and estimates a hund red tons of shipping ore in sight, already. Bonanza ore from the famous old Worlds Fair mine owned by MT. and Mrs. Frank Powers, is also being shipped from Patagonia to San Francisco, and Chris Wilson, the freighter is busy with long strings of mules hauling ore from the Three R to Bloxton station. Business in all lines, is good in Patagonia, and every body appears to be confident of the future of the town, which is situated in the heart of a won derfully rich mining section.
 Tom Fraser. the well known is successfully working good mining property near that town, Monday evening arrived in the city, and immediately made number of his friends take to tall timber. Tom was just re- covering from an att ack of chicken pox, but he had neglect ed to notify his Nogales friends, and when they got a glimpse of his one time handsome face, they said "good night" and dis appeared, without giving their friend Tom a chance to explain. About nine in the evening, pr. Gustetter, surgeon of the U. $. marine hospital service, with the assistance of Dr. Chenowith, rounded Tom up, stripped him, and after a thorough examina- tion, convinced themselves that he had nothing worse than the chicken poX, notwithstanding the fact that appearances were against him, and Captain Lon Haley, Phil Herold, and other friends of Tom, insisted he should he nnaran fined
The border vidette., 1913-06-14

FOR SALE under valuo-Tur- nished house of four rooms, etc. Three fine building lots. F.. T. Pellegrin, Nogales, Ariz. Adv.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
SEES BLACK PHIL II, At .Na
Rider Hassard Believes Races Must at
Some Time Meet in Struggle for
Supremacy.

To my mind the great question OF
the future of southern Africa is not
as so many suppose, that of the politl-
cal dominance of Englishman or Boer,
hit of the inevitable though, let US
hope, far-off struggle for practical su.
nremacy between the white blood anu
the black.
We may wonder what are the
thoughts that pass through the nina
of some ancient warrior of Chaka's OF
Dingaan's time, as he suns hlmseif
crouched on the ground, for example,
where once stood the royal kraal, Du-
guza, and watches men and women OF
the Zulu blood passing homeWard from
the cities or the mines, bemused, some
of them, with the white mans SNUG;
gled liquor, grotesque in the Whlte
mans cast-off garments, hiding, per:
haps, in their blankets, examples OF
the white mans doubtful photographs
and then shuts his sunken eyes ana
remembers the plumed and killed regi'
ments making the same ground snake
as with thunder of salute, line upon
line, company upon company they
rushed out to battle.-Sir II. Rider
Haggard in the London Times.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
BILL TERRISS AND IRVING
Former SmeIIed the Great Actors
Beefsteak and Was Quick to
Accept the Invitation.

OF his old days at the Lyceum thea
ter in London with the late Sir Henry
Irving, Forbes-Robertson tells many
interesting anecdotes. Among others
Is one of William Terriss, physically
the handsomest actor of his day:
Irving was very fond of Bill Terriss,
and was nightly amused by the I'M
conscious impertinence with which
Terriss treated him. Irving had grill
room (called the Reefsteak club just
off the stage, near his own dressing
room. One night Terriss smelled, the
savory odor of appetizing cooking
Fine smell, that, guv-nor!' he said tc
Irving during a wait in the wings. Yes
very good agreed Irving, and added:
You must come along some time ano
have supper with me, my boy! Moth
ing would please me better, guv-nor,
said Terriss, to which Irving replied:
Well, when would you like to come?
Tonight responded Terriss promptly
Irving was delighted with the business
like acceptance of his invitation"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
WILLIS of the Walter.

81 know l am looking like a fright
tonight" the woman said.
The man studied her dress, heI
hair and her complexion closely.
81 don't see anything the matter with
you," he said. $50 far as l can see:
you are looking as we'll as usual"
But am not" she insisted. There
is something wrong, and that heao
waiter saw at a glance what it was.
If / had been up to the mark he
wouldn't have put us away over here
in this out-of-the-way corner. He
would have given us table right un'
der the chandelier In the middle OF
the room.
"AIl the best-dressed people are al
ways seated in the most conspicuous
places, so as to make the restaurant
look more attractive. I am glad to say
that that Is where l usually sit. The
plain people are ranged along the
sides Of the room, just as we are to.
night.
"That Is why I know I am not look.
ing well."-New York Times.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
BUST IS That or AMERICAN
identity of Model, Long a Puzzle to
Parisians, Has at Last Been
Cleared Up.

The mysterious bust discovered In
the Boulevard de la Chapelle, Paris,
has at last been identified. Perched
on top Of one-story shop like senti-
mel on chimney, it attracted only
momentary glance from the hurried
passer-by and was then forgotten.
Lincoln Warde, an American tourist,
recognized his countryman in this
oddly placed monument and is able
to give the details which follow. This
bust is Of the late William Smith
Garner, one-time member of the board
of trade of Jacksonville, Fla, who
dedicated his fortune and his life to
the defense Of the oppressed. After
his death committee was formed to
erect a monument to him, and M.
Dreyfus, the president, engaged a
young American sculptor by the name
of Furgott, VINO was then living in
Paris, to make the bust.
When the Civil war broke out, Fur
gott hurried home to enlist, leaving
the bust in his studio. He was killed
in the war and Dreyfus suffered like
fate.
In these circumstances the commit
tee either abandoned or else forgot
about the commission and the bust
was left to it's strange fate. No
claims being made or arrangements
undertaken for it's transfer, it was
finally sold by the occupants of the
studio and eventually became the prop
erty of the proprietor of the tiny shop
on this boulevard near the Eastern
railway station.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
After pseIinn Onions.

NIIGT FSIFFFIS 0'''S''0'
After pceling onions rub your haboS
with celery or parsley. 1t will coun'
teract the odor
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
An Expert In Handwriting,

Mother was fair, but she wished tc
be fairer still. Adorned by nature, she
sought further Identification. Lowell.
ness was her great goal.
Invited out to dinner, she stood be.
fore the mirror, and, having made he1
yellow locks a trifie yellower, she pro.
ceeded to apply the pencil to her eye
brows. This, it may be remarked, lie
an age of artificiality, and mother had
reached this age.
The little daughter stood by and
wondered.
Finally she said:
Mother, what are you writing on
your face for?"-The Popular Maya.
zine.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Sample of Animal Instinct.

When I was a barefoot lad" said
Mr.. Dustin Stax, Il had to spend a
good deal of time minding the stock
on fathers farm. I'll never forget the
day when father told me to take a
rope and hold a couple of bull calves"
What did they do?"
They scorched my hands with the
rope and turned around and stepped
on me-"
"Unruly dispositions?"
mo. Wonderful instinct. They rec
ognized me at a glance as a small
stakeholder, and they knew what Is
generally done to small stockholders"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Horses ChivaIrous to Mares.

Horses also exhibit chivalry to
quite an, extent. 1t is very seldom
that a horse will attack mare, but
the mare has no scruples about at
lacking any horse viciously, provided
that she Is able. Often vicious male
horses that cannot be made to work
together in harness can be safely
hitched up with a man and will cause
no trouble.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Mock Olives,

Mock olives made of green plums
are worth making. Get a quarter of
a peck of them. Mix an ounce OF
mustard seed, two quarts of vinegar,
two tablespoonfuls of salt and boil
it. When it is boiling, pour 1t over the
green plums, which should have been
washed, sorted and laid out on board
or table to dry. Let the plums stand
in the !spiced vinegar until the next
morning and then drain 1t off. Heat
it and pour it over the plums again.
Let them get cold and bottle and cork
them.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Use an Eraser.

Always keep an ordinary black
board eraser near the kitchen range.
using it to wipe off the top. This
keeps the range clean, and you only
need to wash and polish it once a
week. The eraser can be purchased
at a very small cost and saves time
and trouble.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Blind Amer or Animals.

One of the strongest of the animal
instincts is that of blind anger, the
venting of spite on inanimate things.
For example, animals caught in traps
will punish the sticks and stones that
lie conveniently near. 1t is the same
impulse that causes the child to smite
the stool it has fallen over or that
causes the grown person to kick the
door against which he has rammed
his head.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Potatoes In the Shell.

Bake 8 medium sized potatoes
When done take from oven and cut
into lengthwise pieces. Remove the
inside carefully without breaking the
skins, mash, add butter, pepper anc
salt, 2 tablespoons of milk and the
beaten whites Of two eggs. Stir to.
gether lightly, fill the skins or shells
with the mixture and bake 20 min.
utes. Serve hot. There is no time
to be wasted in preparing these, and
the quicker you can do it the better.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
postIude and Prelude.

The musician flung his arms aloft.
"At last" he cried, Il have fame with.
In my grasp"
"How SOP" asked his wife, who had
heard the same thing before.
"You know Mendelssohn's Wedding
March, and the marvellous repute it
brought him?" said the musician.
Eyes, but what Of it,"
well, I'm going to write a divorce
march"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-12-19
Daniels Eirsf Move.

In a Sunday school the teacher was
giving lesson on Daniel in the lions
den."
Nov, what do you think was the
first thing Daniel did when he came
out Of the lions DEM" asked she.
After a short pause small girl
piped out: photographed home to his
wife to say he wall ell right"