The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1913-03-07
BACK TO THE FARM

AC AGahb oNh~AoNNA AA6A 0NNOANbSA
meeting of bankers and listened to
a white-headed gent deliver an elo-
quent lecture on the subject of Back
to the Farm" He told of the won
drous opportunities offered to the
cultivatOr of the soil and of his deep
regret that SO many, young men were
leaving the home of their childhood
and journeying toward the cities and
towns with their temptations, fair
ures and disappointments When the
soft-handed banker had closed and
the applause from his fellow bankers
had subsidized, the sad-looking citizen
arose and said If 1t was agreeable
he would like to make few remarks
on farm life in general. First" he
said, Il would like to ask the elo-
Quent gentleman who just spoke
when and where it was he worked on
that farm with it's blissful conditions,
and IL he did work there, why in
thunder did he leave that paradise
to go into the banking business?
have had some personal experience in
this farming business and want to
detail it to you gentlemen so that
you may know a few of the glorious
privileges you are missing. Did an!
one of you ever milk a COW in the
cleaning? l speak of the cleaning,
gents, in order to let you know tina,
when 1t comes to sling classical an0
poetic language am something of a
singer myself Did you ever have
the COW carelessly slap her tall
around your countenance just when
you had opened your mouth to invite
her to niste'? Have any OF you we'll
dressed handlers of the coin ever
tasted the tail Of cow in fly time!
Have any of you undertaken to teach
an immature calf to drink out of q
bucket? Has any one of you ever
undertaken to persuade hog to
cross bridge? Has any one of you
plowed corn when the mercury stooL
at 100 in the shade and felt your
liver boil and melt with the fervent
heat? Has any one of you been
kicked by a mule or bucked into the
atmosphere by a bronco? Has any
one of you had an inQuisitive Russian
thistle crawl up under your overalls
and locate itself? Has any one o.
you ever unwittingly invaded the
humble home of a humble bee and had
the entire family arise in their wrath
and smite you? Have you arisen al
4 o'clock in the morning and gont
out to the pasture to gather in the
horses for their daily toll? Has an.
one of you ever had CALLED place
ON your person? Has any one of you
ever tried to put bride on a horst
which suddenly concluded to object
and jerked its head up, dislocating a
few teeth as it countered ON your
chin? Have you ever raised corn
crop till you were sure 1t would go
fifty bushels to the acre and discoV
cred after three days of hot vino
you would do we'll to get fifty bushels
of fodder, to say nothing of corn
Have you ever been where you had a
crop of corn that needed plowing
right away, field of wheat that must
be cut or lost, twenty-five acres
of hay that must be harvested within
the next three days or ruined and ther
had all your horses get sick and thu
hired man pull his freight, and leave
you in the lurch with no chance to
get any more help? Have any oil
you gentlemen worked on a hot day
until your tongues were hanging out
and had to refresh yourselves with
buffalo wallow water which haC
reached a temperature of 10? Dc
you really know anything about thu
ecstatic joys of feeding cattle when
the temperature is 80 degrees below
zero and the wind blowing at the rate
of fifty miles an hour?
Your talk of the farm makes me
weary. Not one of you could b.
hired to go out and work on a farm
even If you could make as much a,
you do loaning money that people
hand over to you, back to them
What is more, you wouldn't be worth
whoop if you did go out on the
| farm. Tom McNeal.