davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

go aheadP said Sim Perkins, re-
signedly. Il got to hear it some time;
might as well be now."
Uncle Ashdod looked at him re-
proachfully.
$50 l says to the Head Surgeon"
he said; Il says, 'Maybe this here old
washtub of Sally Ann amt no Olym-
pic, but she's a-ship, just the same. A
ships ship, / says, and nobody can't
deny that no more than he can deny
that government is a government
you don't mean to say a government
like that there Mexican government is
government, do you" he says. "A
government is government l says,
same as ship is a ship Tain't so!
he says. 'An airship is a ship by
name, but it amt ship "A ships a
shipP 1 says. No, sirP he says. Yes,
sirP says, for he was gettin' me mad;
a schooner is a ship, a square-rigger
is a ship, and a submarine is a ship,
and an airship is a ship, and bal
loon is a ship Ships is ships, and no
mistake I can prove it aims so, says
the Head Surgeon; you let on you
know how to sail ship, but you can't
sail a balloon worth Shucks.' Why,
plague your hideP 1 says; I can sail
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

anv shin man ever madeP Can't sail a
balloon says he, because a balloon
amt a ship "A balloon is, too, a
shipP l says. So we all got aboard"
Got aboard what?" asked Sim Per-
kins.
! "The balloon" said Uncle Ashdod.
"What you suppose we got aboard, a
mule? We was talking about balloons,
wasn't we? So we got aboard one.
What for?" asked Sim Perkins.
"To settle that there argument" said
Uncle Ashdod.
"Who got aboard?' asked Sim Per-
kins.
"Me and the Head Surgeon and the
First Mate" said Uncle Ashdod. First
off the Head Surgeon didn't want the
First Mate to go. Too much weight,
he says. He's got to co. says; I
never hear tell of ship that didn't
sail with First Mate aboard. We got
to start with one, anyway. If it seems
like he's too heavy we can throw him
overheard And then the First Mate
he didn't want to CO."
Don't blame him. Only feller aboard
that had any sense" said Sim Perkins.
Mate says" continued Uncle
Ashdod, "'you come right along. If
we got to chuck you overheard wen
pick scottish place to chuck you onto.
If you miss it it's your fault So he
came. We chucked him out first hour
we was up in the balloon"
Did he light soft?" asked Sim Per-
kins.
Hit a rock about as big as a house,
and that was the last of him. Served
him right. He hadn't no business to be
so heavy. First mate in a balloon
wants to be skinny feller, and this
feller was too fat. He was as fat
as"
''Whatd you throw him over for"
asked Sim Perkins.
''He was sinkin' the ship said Uncle
Ashdod. "As soon as we go rid of
him things looked all right, and we
went up like a slyrocket. So we was
glad we was rid of him. She's all
right now,' says the Head Surgeon;
she had too big a load on So purity
soon she began to sink again. Losin'
gas, I reckon. Kept a goin' down and
down, and there we was out over the
whole Atlantic Ocean and seventy-two
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
~ UNCLE AsTIDoD IA
- y 9If1 IERKIhs 4X
~ ByFllis Parker Butler Wf%
UNCLE ASHDOD ON THE
MEXICAN SITUATION
More Like Se He Tells Sim Perkns-He Wanders Back Into
The Past and Diyerts His Companion With
Some Rare Experience at Sea.
Copyright, 1879

miles and a half from shore and the
ship a Sinkin'. She's goin' to sink,' !
says; she's goin' to sink into the ocean
and we'll both be drowned as dead as
seven years ago last August Thought
you could sail any ship there was said
the Head Surgeon. so kim says /,
an since you put !; that way, so l
will
"And you done it," asked Sim Per-
kins.
"You bet l done i'll" said Uncle Ash
dod. Trouble with this ship | says
to the Head Surgeon, is she's over
weighted Nothin' left to throw out,
says he, and at that we hit the top of
wave and shipped ton of water.
Clothes overboardP l yelled, and
quicker than a wink me and the Head
Surgeon disrobcd, as You may say, and
that lightened the balloon so she went
up again. But purity soon she lost
enough gas so she started to sink.
Throw out somethingP l yelled.
Throw out them surgical tools of
yours No, SIR he says, I'm aboard
this ship as Head Surgeon, and Head
Surgeon amt no use without his sur
geon tools l seen that was true
enough. So over went my left foot
"Over went WHAT" asked Sim Per
xins.
my left foot" said Uncle Ashdod.
1--WE had to Tighten that balloon or go
under, and my left foot seemed about
as useless as anything we had aboard
that balloon, so l sticks it up on the
edge of the car and says, Saw her
off and the Head Surgeon he sawed
her. He done a neat, clean, job, too.
He was a fust-class surgeon, he was.
So up We went quite bit into the air,
bein' lighter by one good-sized foot,
but down we come again. When ! see
it was tighten ship or go under, l
sticks my right leg over the edge of
the car. Saw her off, SurgeP ! says;
we got to keep our heads above wa
ter NopeI says he; my turn now.
Saw off some of me- Real nice of
him, that was, but, pshaw! / wasn't no
surgeon. I told him so. Go ahead
I says, I'm captain of this ship. You
do what I tell ye' So he sawed my
leg off. Nice, clean job he done, too.
l never had leg sawed off no cleaner.
So up we went"
II hope said Sim Perkins, II hope
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

you stayed up that time. I'd hate to
think of what happened to you if that
balloon come down again. If il did
come down again-but, pshaw ! II lidft
did it?"
Come right down until the car
dragged in the water" said Uncle Ash
dod, grinly. Tighten ship, doc,' says,
and be quick about it. l guess | can
spare another leg or SO. You might
whack off a couple of arms while
you're about it, too, SOS to have them
handy to chuck over So he done it
When feller is tryin' to run ship
he don't know how to handle he's got
to expect a few little troubles like
that"
Sure" said Sim PERKINS, sarcastic
ally. Nobody minds a few little legs
and arms and things
NO." said Uncle Ashdod, 'but heads
is another thing. When a man gets
trimmed down as close as / was, and
he's captain of ship, and the whole
responsibility is on him, he's got to
make sacrifices. But heads is mighty
useful things. She's sinkin' again,
says the Head Surgeon, loolin'
at my neck like he was wondering
where he'd saw it in two. Let her
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

sinkP / says; she can sink clean 70
the bottom before I'll let my head be
cut off, She's sinkin' quite fast says
the Head Surgeon, feelin' the edge of
his saw. Let her sinkp says, and
just then the old car begun to drag in
the water again. Cut her Off ] says;
a head like mine aims no ornament,
and it amt much use if Pm goin' to
be drowned, so cut her Off
I'm sorry he didn't" said Sim Per-
kins. "If some fellers that start in to
tell tale and get to lyin' the way some
fellers do, had their heads cut Off
$50 he cut my head off," said Uncle
Ashdod, "and I must say it was nice,
ship-shape job he done. Yes, sir. And
only one thing troubled him. He didn't
know whether to chuck my head over
board or to chuck me overheard, so he.
chucked me and my head both over"
"And then he begun on himself,
suggested Sim Perkins.
"Why, no." said Uncle Ashdod.
Seems like the balloon was all right
once it got rid of me-"
"Was, hey?" said Sim Perkins. "You
was a Jonah, was you?"
Il was the Huerta of that there ship,
that's what I was" said Uncle Ashdod.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
By BRAYANT c. ROGERS

/ being dismounted. AS she regained the
road the doctor advanced, and said:
He seems a dangerous beast for a
young lady to ride
Better be careful or you'll come to
grief with your own steed!' was the re-
tort
IF you'd struck a treer'
IF you'd run your horse into a swamp
'Oh, it's nothing to mel"
Il don't think sor'
Magnetic influence will draw two peo-
pie together, but it should be understood
that they are as apt to quarrel as TO love
''Humph! Mighty independent and
saucy" commented the doctor as ne
rode on.
"Humph! Let him give his advice after
1t is asked for"' commented the girl as
she proceeded to give her horse the whip
in punishment
That must be the Holden girl 1 have
heard mentioned"
That must be the new doctor the maid
said had set up an Office in the village"
Magnetism works like a sawmill when
once started. The next morning Miss
Mamie was the first to pass down the
river road. She had gone about three
miles when a great clatter caused her to
look back. Coming on the dead run was
the doctor on his horse The horse hal
past the girl he was reined into a thick
growth of hazelnut bushes, and after
houndering around for a spell he got his
horse sense back.
He seems a dangerous beast for a
young man to ride" observed Miss Mamie
as she advanced to where the doctor sat
his saddle with Inundated look on his
face.
"A rabbit ran out of the brush and
across the road" he sullenIy explained
Yes, I've heard that rabbits did that!
Suppose you had struck a barng'
You'll be killed or badly hurt, some
day." said the doctor. as he started to
ride on.
''Dittor'
1t so. happened that the next three
mornings were bad weather for riding,
and neither horse was taken out On the
fourth morning, however, things were all
right, and as the horsewoman rode
through the village she knew that she
was the first one out. She was ambling
along, keeping a sharp eye on her horse
for tricks, when DR.. Stafford came thun-
dering down upon her. It was another
bolt. She pulled her steed back to give
the other room to pass. and had her
mouth all fixed to call out: 'I told YOU
SOL when the horse seized the bit and
was on like a deer.
The two equines ran side by side. Their
riders were silent for a time, and then
the doctor said:
'T told you 1t would happenv'
'And I told you the same!'
You are bound to get broken bonesl" |
"And SO are your
And the bolting horses turned out for
a farmers load Of hay. and both fen hat
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
TIT FOR TAT -

hinted about $4,000 in her will in case
her nephew hung out his shingle. At
about the time he did SO the Holden fam
lily became residents of Meadow Park.
Having no professional calls to make,
Mr.. Stafford took things very easy. The
first thing on the days program after
breakfast was a horseback ride.
Miss Mamie Holden also had a pro-
gram, and that program also included a
horseback ride when the weather would
permit
DR.. Stafford prided himself on his grace
and skill as a rider. He rode a horse
that no one else cared to mount. The
further the animal walked on his hind
feet the better the doctor was pleased.
Miss Mamie also rode fractions horse.
He would bolt whenever he had the
chance. She had been argued with. but
in vain. To all those protesting and pre-
dieting she answered:
When / have got to ride a plow-
horse for safety I will stop riding alto
gether.'
1t was a beautiful June morning when
a score of citizens of Meadow Park as
sembled in front of the Inn, and in low
voices said to each other:
do you think he will ride out this
morning."
Sure to-"
ne SOlHS 10 D6 hlllGl SOIUe Qdy.
Bound to be-"
Wonder If he will go TO heaven?"
He may dodge in"
And then the horse the doctor rode
came walking out of the stable on his
hind feet He paved the air. He
squealed. He kicked. He ran at Simon
Green, the grocer, and snatched the hat
of his head. Then he kicked at the
cooper, squealed at the blacksmith, and
went dancing down the river road.
Only the cook, the maid, and the moth
er saw Miss Mamie mount her horse and
ride away that morning. The steed con-
tented himself with vaulting a fence,
kicking over an ash barrel, and climb
ing a telephone pole.
There is magnetic influence that draws
people together. If it were not SO the
professional bill collector would never
come face to face with some debtors.
This magnetism is stronger when the
had met the Holden girl The Holden
girl did not know DR.. Stafford from a
roll of calfskin.
Why didn't the doctor take the Clayton
instead of the river road when his horse
danced out of the stable?
Why didn't Miss Mamie take the Will
ow Creek instead of the river road when
her horse got through with the teIsohone |
pole?
DR.. Stafford had slowed his horse down
70 a walk after a run of a couple of |
niles, and was breathing deeply and
'iewing a crow sitting on the fence, when
le heard hoofbeats. It was Miss Mamie |
coming up, and her horse had. bolted. 1
lust past the doctor she ran the animal |
nto thicket and stopped him without
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
RIG BROTHER -. BY LOUISE MANSFIELD

: Special business demands trip tonight
to reach telegraph station before
closing. DOT"
While Forbes opened wide the doors,
tested his engine, looked at the gasoline
supply, and so on, Dorothy found the
cIoaks that she and Constance had worn
before Mats own suit and oddly shaped
cap hung in a locker near. She found
them all. In less than fifteen minutes
they were ready. and she took her seat
in the cockpit, every nerve tingling for
the coming flight. They slipped into the
water straight bound for the open bay,
and then the boat rose like some mar
velous water fowl, its widespread places
like great wings, the throb Of its en-
gine like the beat Of heat.
1t was no novelty to either one, but
somehow tonight all the world seemed
strange. Down below was the little
island. and the bungalow agleam with
lights. 1t looked like a toy house now.
1t was twenty minutes to II when Mr..
Forbes walked Into the telegraph office
and sent his wire north, the messagesthat
stopped Lawton Carruthers' game, and
kept the control of the railroad conces-
sion in the handS of Forbes company.
He deserved it For four years he had
worked down in those South American
mountains, building the way toward this
stolen under his nose? He knew the
sending of that telegram up North meant
millions, meant the total fruition of all
his labors, all his hopes come true. And
in some wonderful way Dorothy seemed
responsible for his winning now at the
eleventh hour.
He went back to her down the old street
to the water front. She knew the place
where her brother made his landings and
had guided Forbes to 1t. Her hood had
fallen back from her head. Both hands
reached out to him swiftly.
Did you get there In timer
He nodded. smiling down at her. And
then a strange thing happened. Out
in the town behind them the bells began
to chime midnight. 1t was a strange,
mystical Christmas Eve, balmy and warm
as perhaps that first one was back on
the moon-lit plains of old Judea- Dor
othy's eyes faltered before the fire in
his gaze One hand held her cloak to-
gether.
I'VE must get back to the island" she
began, but Forbes gave a little unsteady
laugh. and drew her close in his arms.
You said / was just big brother.
didn't you? Am 1 now, Dot. am I? I'm
going back with you tonight and tell Nat
I've stolen you for good. you plucky, true
blue sweetheart
Dorothy closed her eyes as his arms
crushed her close. The great winged
bird boat waited for them. the bells
pealed out their message. She drew back
her face and laughed, her hands rumpling
his hair.
1--WE forgot. Allan. Wish ysu merry,
merry ChristmasP'
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

(Col pl3)
TT is said every that an only child
in the family is more or less obstinate
= and is certain to be selfish.
1t was probably said so of an only
child 5000 years ago. SO there is nothing
new in hearing it again.
And if il was so arranged for the only
child in the beginning of things, then
it can't be licked out of him IN the year
1914
Mr.. Lynn Stafford was an only child.
He didn't have to divide his sweetcake
and jam with anybody. If peanuts were
brought into the house, they all belonged
to him. If he wanted to kick the poodle
or maui the cat that was his privilege
His nurse pretty constantly wore a
black eye he had given her. but if she
ever complained of 1t the mother replied:
The dear boy, but how much muscle
he is getting! If he blacks the other eye,
too, you shall have your wages raised
a dollar a month";
Master Lynn ran the family and the
house and the neighborhood until he was
about thirteen years old. Then he got a
check-several checks. He fought the
boys to have his own way, and he got
licked every time he fought His wishes
and opinions were derided and thwarted,
world wasn't made for him alone.
When the only" had come TO man
hood he was impulsive and autoCratic,
but he learned his lesson. All men are
not born free and equal, but every man
has certain inherent rights that he will
fight for be he millionaire c. peasant
Taking him all in all, young Mr.. Stafford
was not a half-bad young man for one
that his parents had done their best to
spoil
Miss Mamie Holden was another only. :"
She had the same doting parents. She
would have her own way or bite and
scratch and yell, and so she was given
her way She became naughty and snob
bish and conceited, but the remedy was
at hand. She found the small girls of
the neighborhood equal to the emergency.
They made faces at her. They snatched
her hat. They called her names. They
ignored her. She found herself an out
law. She didn't lose all her imperious-
ness, but she learned policy. There were
other folks to be considered besides her
self She was entitled to only one girls
share of the things in life.
At twenty-three years old Mr.. Lynn
Stafford graduated in medicine and set
I'D an ofice at Meadow Park. Ii was |
more to please rich old aunt than be-
cause he was in love with the profession
and was anxious to win success. The
aunt had been taken with the bilious /
,oIic once and no doctor within nine /
miles. She might have died had not a i
tin peddIer come along and dosed her
With a pain-kilIer he always carried. The
aunt, however, thought there ought to
be more doctors in the country, and she !
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
GGTkTHAT you think about this
" here Mexican situation?' p
Sim perkins asked ITncle

SST HAT you think about this
" here Mexican situation p
Sim Perkins asked Uncle
AShdod.
well, sir" said Uncle. Ashdod,
some folks might call it a situation if
they wanted to, but seems to me that
what they got down there is more what
you might call site than a situation.
Yes, Sir, a site is what l would call it
-durn site worse today than it was
Yesterday; an a durn site worse yes
terday than it was the day before, and
durn site worse day before yesterday
than
All rightP" said Sim Perkins. "All
right! That country of Mexico was
discovered back in 1919, and if you're
goin back day by day for four hun
dred years or so, I'll just take little
nap, but if you got anything to say
about the grand old Mexican ship of
state, go ahead and say it"
"Ship?" said Uncle Ashdod. "Ship o
state? The kind of ship O. state they've
got down there amt no more sea-
worthy than the ship me and the Head
Surgeon went voyaging in with the
First Mate. Hot-air balloon is what
I'd call it"
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07
Copyright. 1881

Copyright l95D
It's too hot to dance any more"
Dorothy pushed open the glass doors
that led out on the veranda- She knew
her way around the house better than
Allan. 1t was his first visit to Sanibel
Island and her fifth. She felt vaguely
superior and motherly toward this stocky,
tanned youngster just fresh from South
America. Constance had told her to take
care of him, and when Dorothy took care
of a young man she rarely left him
heart, head, or will power.
IT love the walk down through the
palm grove in the moonlight" she went
on, tripping ahead Of him under the
great shadowy fronds. Don't you like
the sea at night, Mr.. Forbes?"
Rather. After months in the Andes
can't get enough of the water. 1t was
bully of old Nat to ask me here for the
holidays You know 1 was bound north
to Washington. No thought Of ioafing
at all. Wonder why he did it"
'I know" She hesitated, and held
aside a mass of shrubbery heavy with
fragrant blossoms. He had a letter from
Mrs. Carruthers. She's Mats second
cousin, and married to that queer little
Lawton Carruthers. / think he's a Jaw
yer in New York. Anyway, he's made
scads of money since she married him.
And Adele, that's Mrs. c., told Nat you
were bound this way, and for him to way
lay you for the Christmas party here on
the island, What's the matter?'
Forbes had stopped dead short, his
head thrust a bit forward like a fighting
bull, his eyes sparkling in the darkness
as she looked up at him.
What is it?''
Nothing special" he returned shortly.
"Only you've saved my life. Where is
the nearest cable station?"
Across the bay at Tampa It's a
three-hour trip in the motor boat. Why?''
I've got to reach 1t tonight. Listen.
I've known you Just three days, haven't
I? 1 know you'll think I've gone mad
tonight IL tell you that never intended
staying here more than a day. had
to get up North to keep this same little
Lawton Carruthers from making
straight steal on our concessions down
there In Peru You wouldn't understand
IL 1 told you about it, but here. Hasn't
Nat got a flying boat? 1 read in the
papers it was his latest investment to
make time fiy.'
Dorothy nodded her head. Her face
had grown whittier in the flood OF moon
light as they stepped from the palms
out on the curving crescent of beach. 1t
was a perfect night on the water. The
whole world seemed filled with witchery
and enchantment. Back on the rise OF
land was the bungalow, its windows
streaming with light, and music drifting
down to them, lifting. fascinating SPAN
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

ish air. Out at sea, the stars seemed to
hang low in the deep blue sky. Just be-
low them on the beach was the newly
built shelter her brother had built for his
pet toy. She pointed it out.
/ It's down there. Connie and / have
both been up in it and it's perfectly safe.
But it's Christmas Eve. Would the office
be open? Would you get there in timer"
I've got to. Our option expires the
26;h, at 9 a. m. wrote Washington the
day came here, telling them to get an
extension of time until l could get there.
didn't know any one besides ourselves
knew Of the plans to put the railroad
through Perez to Qualtipoco Can yoi
see what II means now to me to heaf
this-this-to know that Carruthers has
stolen a march on US, had his wife get
dear old Nat even to pull me of my
course and stay over here while he steals
the thing right under my nose. Would
you mind telling Nat I had to take his
boat. I've run one before, up at New
port last summer. II you'll go back and
tell him
But Dorothy stood and looked at him
gravely.
II want to go with you"
Its impossible. couldn't be-
you couldn't be bothered with me. I
know that's what you were going to say.
But I'm going. told Nat I'd look after
you, and well make sixty miles an hour
by air, fifty by water. I don't mind 4
one bit Wen run over the Bay, send
your message and get back. 1 want to
go. Allan"
II was the first time she had called him
that. And she put both hands on his
coat lapels and looked at him pleadingly.
why, 1t isn't anything for me to go.
It's just as IL you were my big brother.
like Nat, and 1 want to see you win out.
There are coats and everything hanging
down yonder. and we'll be all right.
They'll miss your
There's a little colored chap sleeps
in the boat shed. I'll wake him UP and
send him back to Connie with a note
oh, they never mind anything I do;
really. they don't. And Nat told me
to look after you. Please"
through his thick, crisp hair. and took
her outstretched hand.
You witch. You've held me here
with your island holiday enchantment.
Perhaps it's right for you to share this
with me. But do you know what it
means. Dorothy; do you? Do you know
why I've stayed on here?
You hurt my hand. Let's run before
we're missed
She pulled her hand away from his
clasp and ran like child over the hard
silvery sands. Forbes reached 1t first,
and wakened the boy. He stumbled out.
hitchng up his suspenders. and waited
for the message Dorothy wrote on a scrap
Of paper torn from Forbes note book.
She said:
Gone to Tampa with A. F. It's all
right Just like big brother to me.
The Washington herald., 1913-12-07

Neither rider was conscious when the
farmer brought help. The doctor had a
broken leg and a number of bruises, and
Miss Mamie had a broken shoulder. a
crushed hand, and was all bruises
And still magnetism played its part.
When DR.. Stafford could get out he rode
over to the Holdens and was Hospitality
received. AS his leg continued to mend
his visits grew more frequent, and there
came an afternoon when he said:
You are a pretty good horsewoman,
but do you think you can manage a hus-
band?'
You are a fair horseman, but how
about managing a wife," was asked in
reply.
The honeymoon. at least has been well
managed.