davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
Stretchahle Currency

The Senate committee on banking
and currency is having trouble with
the money bill. If it really is striving
to provide a measure that will give
elasticity to the currency, it might
be we'll to call before it the author,
whoever he may be, of the following
dispatch which has appeared in the
various newspapers carrying the As
sociated Press:
Philadelphia. October 17.---vincent
Astor. regarded as the richest young
man in the world, received a legacy of
$1,000, 900 by the will probated today by
his uncle, ]. r. Willing. better known
as Barton Willing. The estate is VAL
ued at 100000 pounds and upwards
The will written on scrap of paper
with lead pencil, was found among
Mr.. Vikings papers after his death a
few weeks ago.
The scrap of paper on which the will
was written bore no date and many of
the words were hard to decipher. Mr.
Willing specified that three-fourths of
his estate should be given to his sister.
Mrs. Susan r. w. Lawrence, and the
remaining one-fourth to his other sis
ter. Mrs. Ava Willing Astor, Vincent
Astor's mother. The testament con :
cluded
''I wipe out all Indebtedness of money
loaned to friends
just how Vincent Astor is going to
get $1,500,000 out of what is left of
$500, 900 after his aunt gets $375,O00
and his mother $175,O00 is not clear
to the mind of the average man, al
though it may be plain enough to a
philadelphia lawyer" And why
pounds sterling in the home of the
Liberty Bell?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
PORES BETRAY CRIMINALS

From the New York American.
At the recent meeting OF the British
Medical association attention was direct
ed to ''poroscopy,' a method of criminal
and statistical registration of mankind
which will no doubt at once be the source
of new crop of detective stories. DR..
Locard Of Lyons, France, stands sponsor
for the new dispensation. and his brief
is held for the new scheme of measure
ments because he is personally convinced
that it is the equal-and much easier of
application-of the finger print method of
Karl Pearson and M. Bertillon.
DIR. James B. Scott of Brighton Beach,
England, describes poroscopy as the
science of the study and tabulation OF
the openings, orifces and canals of the
sweat ducts of the finger pulp, instead
of the lines and ridges in the finger print.
He says the holes in Skinnys trousers
cannot altogether be considered without
reference to the slender remains of the
cloth, but the sweat openings in the fin
gers can be recorded with no regard to
the finger prints.
The sweat pores are caught as identifi-
cation marks upon smoked glass. grease
stains, mud, chalk, putty or even moist
shiny surface. The dirt and perspiration
alone are enough to obtain the pressed
dots and rings.
DR.. Locard reports a wonderful series
Of criminal detections due to the ingen-
ious scheme of obtaining the stamp of the
sweat canal. He even goes as far as to
say that he can identify anyone by SIM
ply examining the sweat band Of the
PERSONS hat.
In other words, if crime is committed
and the perpetrator neglect to carry off
his hat or anything that his fingers haye
touched, the Bertillon bureaus hereafter
will, by the procedure of finding only 10
sweat pores. succeed in capturing the
villain
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
"THIs MAN UNDERWOOD.

From the Macon Telegraph.
Passing through Atlanta Thursday,
Congressman Hobson talked to newspaper
men about his opponent In the race for
the Senate in Alabama. '"This man Un-
derwood!' he contemptuously began his
remarks:
This man Underwood, Here's a man
of great force and of high character.
However. his present position and his
present great force only make him the
more dangerous tool in the hands of the
forces who are against the public well
fare"
He then proceeded to make more or less
vague charges to the effect that Under
wood was controlled by "wall street. and
the whisky interests"
1t is the same old cry Of .wolf." When
the average demagogue wants to knock
an opponent he matches up something
about Wall street and whisky. just like
the republicans try to damage democratic
measures by brnding them Bryan"
The idea of Underwood being danger
Gus to the people" is an asinine bray. AS
matter of fact, he is the first and
best democrat, and therefore friend of
the people, of our day and time His
leadership has been superb, and his sue
cess unchallenged except by the kissing
bee champion of osculation.
In the arena where men meet and con-
tend Underwood has won his spurs. In
that same place Hobson ranks mediocre.
He was scarcely heard of until he threw
brick at the champion in that field
of endeavor.
Tut, tut, Hobson!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
That angel of the world doth make dis
tfnctiOn
of p,.ce ,tvixt high and low.
--CymbeIine.
Where Millionaires Grow

The rich young man from Pitts
burgh has long been famous in fact
and fiction. Usually when we hear
of him he is buying freely of rare old
vintages to be poured down the un-
appreciative throats of chorus girls,
or performing in some more spectacu-
lar manner for the delectation OF
newspaper readers. We know that
all the wealth of Ormus and of Ind
is poverty when compared to Pitts
burg's ingots of precious steel, but
few would think that Pittsburg had
more millionaires than New York,
Golfers Weekly says editorially:
Advance reports on the income tax
show that Pennsylvania, although Its
population is much smaller, has more
ninionaires than New York state; 62o
residents of Pennsylvania 600 of them
in the Pittsburg manufacturing district
alone) have annual incomes exceeding
100000, against 800 in New York. New
York city is the banking center OF the
country, the home of Wall street. Also,
it is a place to which men gravitate
when they become, very rich. That
the number of New York rich mon
should be exceeded by Pennsylvania Is
pretty surprising. Any deductions from
these figures must, of course, be very
general. But isn't it fair to infer that
millionaires are made faster by the pro-
tective tariff than even by banking or
by importing? The protective tariff Is
an economic agency for increasing the
distance between the extremes of SO
ciety--malSing millionaires at one enc
and laborers at the other.
Golfers conclusion seems reason
able. The protective tariff has beer
of benefit to the manufacturer and
not to the consumer. Another rea-
son might be advanced, however, as
to why there are apparently more
millionaires in Pittsburg than in New
York. The rich men of Gotham-not
all, of course-have long been accus-
toned to swear off their taxes with
no qualms about perjury. 1t is pos
sible their Pittsburg prototypes are
more careful of their oaths.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
DIFFERENT poIsoNs.

DIFFERENT POISONS.
Oh joy is like magic cup.
| lift it to the sky,
And still the moro 1 offer up
The fuller joy have 1.
Charlotte Porter.
Oh, joy is like ct Get, et Get,
What Charlotte says is true:
But let no needless one forget
'Tis true of rickeys, too
John ID. Wells, in Buffalo News.
John tells the truth, just make a note
or that fact on your cuff;
But nothing else will get your goat
Like that mint julep stuff
Judd Lewis, in Houston Post.
Judd rang the bell, but on the stick
Cut yet another notch
There's nothing warns the inner man
Like swigs of good hot Scotch.
Memphis Commercial-AppeaL
And some there are both near and far,
When wintry winds make merry,
Who find delight while at the bar
In good old Tom and Jerry
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
TALENT CONE AsTRAY.

According to, a report from New Or
leans the Princess Rajah,' wife of
Individual known as the wild Man of
Borneo." It is hardly necessary to say
that all three are in the .show business"
Doubtless, by this time retribution has
overtaken the fleeing princess and her
wild" affinity, for both have their teeth
filed like saws and the ranlxest of anna
teur detectives would have no difficulty
in spotting tho pair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
sANDsroRm ON THE DESERT

From "The Winning of Barbara Worth"
The next day noon found them In the
first of the sand hills. There was no
sign of vegetation here. for the huge
mounds and ridges of white sand, piled
like drifts of snow. were never quite still
Always they moved eastward before the
prevailing winds from the west. Through
the greater part of the year they ad-
vance very slowly, but when the fierce
gales sweep down from the mountains
they roll forward so swiftly that any
object in their path is quickly buried in
their smothering depths. In the middle
of the afternoon Texas climbed to the
top of huge drift to look over the land.
The others saw him stand moment
against the sky, gazing to the northwest,
then he turned and slid down the steep
side Of the mound to the waiting wagon.
She's comin'!" he remarked, laconi-
cally, IAN she's big one. ] reckon We
may as well get as far as we cam
A few minutes later they saw the sky
behind them filling as with golden
mist. The atmosphere. dry and hot.
seemed charged with mysterious. terrible
power. The very mules tossed their
heads uneasily and tugged at the reins
as If they felt themselves pursued by
some fearful thing. Strainght and hard.
with terrific velocity. the wind was COM
ing down through the mountain passes
and sweeping across the wide miles of
desert, gathering the sand as it came.
Swiftly the golden mist extended over
their heads. thick, yellow fog. through
which the sun shone duly with a weird,
unnatural Hight. Then the singing
binding. choking blast was upon them
with pitiless, savage fury. In a moment
all signs of the train were obliterated.
Over the high edges of the drift the sand
curled and steamed like blizzard snow.
About the outfit 1t whirled and eddied,
cutting the faces Of the men and forcing
them, with closed eyes, to gasp for
breath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
Ballots and Bayonets

The Mexican election set for Oc-
tober 26 will about as nearly repre-
sent the preferences of patriotic and
intelligent citizens as did the cleo
tions held in the South during the
days of reconstruction. Military rule
has completely usurped civil admins
tration. Huerta has added to his
executive powers those of the courts
and Congress. AS long as he is the
nominal head of affairs there can be
no tranquility,
According 10 Mexican law, the re-
suits of the election must be an
nounced by the Congress. At present
there is no Congress in position to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
Auditorium Bond Election

Birmingham's need of a large au-
ditorium becomes more and more evil
dent. The election ordered by the
city commission for an auditorium
bond issue, not to exceed 100000, is
to be held next Monday; and as a
tentative vote was taken on this au-
ditorium proposition last month with
an overwhelming majority in its
favor, it may be assumed that the
wish of the people then expressed
will be ratified by decisive vote.
The bonds are to bear five per cent
interest, and local investors stand
ready to buy them. The whole issue
of $2OO,0 can be sold here at par.
Birmingham's financial condition is
straitened, but the building of an au-
ditorium will be matter of strict
business economy. Nothing will help
this town more. Birmingham should
be one of the most popular convention
cities in the United States, and it will
be just as soon as we have an au-
ditorium. There was a time when
Birmingham lacked hotel accommoda-
tions, but by next spring this will be
first class hotel city--certainly
equal in hotel space to any city of
approximately its size.
The auditorium should have not less
than 10000 seats, which would make
it by far the largest convention hall
anywhere in the south.
With favorable vote next Monday
the city commission will lose no time
in deciding upon site and breaking
ground for the great building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
Florida Is Worried

William S. Jennings, ex-governor
of Florida and a cousin of William
Jennings Bryan, is one Of the spon-
sors of scheme to colonize Japanese
in the state of fruits and flowers
which is stirring up quite a contro-
versy. Many citizens of Florida pro-
test that they do not want the Japan
csc to come among them, but just how
to balk the plans of the colonizers is
not now very clear.
Congressman Clark called on Gov
ernor Trammel to convoke a special
session of the legislature to pass an
anti-alien land law similar to that
which recently became effective in
California. The executives answer
was that such statute would be in
conflict with the state constitution.
"The race problem in Florida is
sufficiently troublesome without in
Jectlng the Japanese" says Mr.. Clark.
1t is the experience of white men that
they cannot live in peace and amity
with the Japs in large numbers.
Wherever, the latter go among Cau-
casians they comprise an indigestible
mass of population. They are thrifty,
industrious, and exceedingly clannish.
Florida perhaps would profit finan-
cially by having some of it's now idle
lands settled by expert Japanese
farmers and truckers, but this prob
ably would not be worth the price
that would have to be paid in the long
run.
The west doesn't want Jap colonies,
and neither does the South; it has
troubles enough of it's own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
HOBSON VS.. UNDERWOOD
From the Charlotte {

From the Charlotte Observer
~ INCE President Wilson'S extremely
handsome letter to Representative
~ Clayton has apparently assured the
latters retirement from the Alabama SEN
atorial race, Mouse Leader Underwood
and Representative Hobson are the two
candidates who remain. Mr.. Underwood
has already informed the voters of his
district that he will not offer for re-
nomination to the House. Mr.. Hobson
has not thus far committed himself to
the chances of war. Indications are. how
ever, that he will leave nothing except
resignation from the House undone to de-
feat Mr.. Underwood If he can.
The Housee democratic leader, accord.
ing to the man whose ambition conflicts
with his own, is 1.-THE tool of the whisky
ring and the money interests" Nobody,
with the possible exception of Mr.. Bryan,
believes that this is in any degree true.
Mr. Bryan undertook to place the Wall
street stamp upon Mr.. Underwood. but
for no other apparent reason than that
played independence of him. The country,
III Idct, neeuS no eStliIdteS Dy MT. I5Hyui
or any one else. 1t knows Mr.. Under
wood we'll. 1t has given him place In
the front rank of contemporary public
men. 1t thoroughly admires his courage,
his intelligence. his poise. his tact his
intelligence, his answering attention 70
duty. He is leader who leads. His pres
tige stands very high in every quarter
of the United States and he is admired
at home and abroad as one who with
Senator Simmons) achieved a unique and
seemingly impossible success.
Unfortunately for Mr.. Hobson, the
country has his measure also; and il Ala
bama has it equally well he will cut an
extremely poor figure as the opponent of
Mr. Underwood Since the day when he
achieved notoriety by a sensational little
fluke wherein nothing was accomplished
and nobody was harmed his wild exploita-
tition of that notoriety, with subsequent
additions, has rendered 1t impossible for
even the most undiscerning American to
feel any pride in the incident of the Mer-
rimac at Santiago. On the strength of
this advertising Mr.. Hobson failing to
play sick out of the navy for the salary $
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
HE WANTED 1T CLEAR

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
There said the stern parent, i've
done something 1 intended to do long
ago. I've given you fixed income
and you'll have to live on it,"
The young man looked at the slip Of
paper which his father handed him.
| Then he looked at his father.
Dad" he said. this isn't quite fair"
"Eh! What isn't fair?"
why. you mean that I'm to have
$4,000 n ytar, don't youe'
Eyes"
"Clear?"
'Of course"
"rhen If I'm to have $1,000 clear What
do you mean by giving me taxable in
come with no money to pay the tax?'
With wild howl the infuriated
father kicked over the waste basket
and tore up his check book.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
When a man Is buying something for
his wife the 10-cent kind are just as good
as the 15-cent kind. But it is different
when he is buying booze for himself.
It Is mighty queer that woman who
has Mysteries when she sees a mouse can
make a man roll over and play dead.
Some men are so useless that they
spend the whole year waiting for the
book beer season to come in again.
A chautauqua lecturer is able to talk
a great deal and not say anything But
YOU ought to hear sweet young thing
when she gets a fellow on the telephone
The habit of cigarette smoking is m
oreasing among the fair sex. but there
isn't much danger OF princess stopping
vou on the street tomorrow and bum
ming you for the ''makings."
The neighbors are mighty hard to
please. The widow never spends the In
surance money to suit them. and they
always accuse the widower of having a
tov ride on the way back from the ceme-
terry.
The girls have covered their elbows.
hut they dare the weather man to make
them cover their chests.
A man never realizes how many good
things to eat there are in the world until
he is a confirmed dyspeptic.
When a woman finally secures the %
cook book she has been wanting for five
years the grocery bin increases So per
week.
Eve may have had her troubles. But
when Adam rolled into the cave about
daybreak he couldn't say no had spent
the night sitting up with a sick friend.
Father can sit in the corner and mind
his own business, but that won't prevent
him from getting in bad with mother
She will glance over the paper and come
across an item about man being fined
for beating his wife. and she will sniff
and glare at father and say: Huh!
ia just like to see d man strike me once,
I'd just like to see him try it,
A girl will pray to be delivered from
temptation and then go ont and gage
longingly into the show window OF a
millinery store for half hour.
II woman would put as much papriksl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

, sake, quit anyhow and broke into Con-
gress by defeating Representative (sinca
Senator) Bankhead after an unsuccessful
first attempt. He then began exploiting
themes which manifestly-and this is said
without any reference to their intrinsic
merit-lent themselves 10 sensational ut
terance and the lecture platform. I'm
pending war with Japan, monster navy,
prohibition and the suffragette movement
were necessarily agitated by him. His
congressional duties he consistently neg
lected. He never so much as went through
the motion of attending to them serious
ly; the roll call which he answered sell
dom occurred; he was almost never at
Washington except in passing through
from one lecture point to another; and
even at the present extra session, with
its tremendously important matters. his
face was practically strangers. Mr..
Hobson has been flighty and windy In the
utmost degree. He has become a general
laughing stock, able at the same time by
reason of his notoriety and public posi-
tion to make himself a good deal of a nui-
sance. THE bare possibility that Ala
bama might inflict Hobson on the coun-
try says the New York World, lis
enough to arouse a nationwide interest
In Mr.. Underwood candidacy" So say
they all, without distinction of party or
other shade OF political belief We dis
like to say anything that is not entirely
kind about any man, but when Mr.. Hob
son presumes to declare himself more
worthy of promotion in Congress than
Mr.. Underwood he challenges some ex-
position of the unfitness which he has
shown.
1t is hardly too much to say that If by
any imaginable possibility Alabama pre-
fers Hobson above Underwood she will
suffer even more diseredit than, through
the late Senator Jeffries Davis. Arkansas
incurred. The country understands how
rank conditions of faction and prejudice
and class antagonism may cause numbers
of people knowingly to support unfit men.
But Alabama does not present such condi-
tions. And over against Hobson stands
no less an approved statesman than Os-
car w. Underwood. Alabama could not
choose Hobson under these circumstances
without branding herself as a state OF
yaps.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
Many a man can't because he believes
he can't.
Most married men are happier thar
they suppose.
Anyway. the idiot has no monopoly on
the simple life.
A man doesn't have to be an orator in
order to speak well of himself.
What a man earns doesn't interest his
wife so much as what she gets.
OF course, it is our charity that covers
multitude of other peoples sins.
1t is easy for young man to find a
pin In girls belt, but he usually gets
hold of the wrong end.
The average girl imagines the romance
Is missing from a proposal unless the
stage is set for a moonlight scene.
The chestnut trees OF this country may
soon be extinct, but fortunately the
jokesmiths are not dependent upon then
for their supplies.
If a young man marries a slender CIR
and she develops into q heavy weight II
after years. he can see where he goi
more than he barEained for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
THE CHILD MUSICIAN

By Austin Dobson.
He had played for his lordship's levee,
He had played for her ladyship's s ,whim,
Till the poor little head was heavy
And the poor little brain would swim.
And the face grew peaked and erie,
And the large eyes strange and bright.
And they said-too late-''He is weary!
He shall rest for, at least. Tonight"
But at dawn when the birds were walk
ing.
As they watched In the silent room,
With the sound Of strained cord break
ing,
A something snapped in the gloom.
Twas a string Of his violoncello,
And they heard him stir In his bed
Make room for = tired little fellow,
Kind God!-vas the last that n faiA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
JUST WONDERING.

Young women of the ginger ale age
do lot of giggling that could easily be
dispensed WITH" says the paragrapaer of
the Andalusia Star. What, forsooth, is
the ginger ale age? There Is no inter-
mediate stage nowadays between the
nursing bottle and the cocktail.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
neY.r..,.e Early Winter

Most of the weather prophets are pre-
dieting an carly and a severe winter, but
this sudden cold snap does not mean that
winter has come" said a weather-wise
man. 1--WE will have many warm days
between now and the middle OF Novem-
Der.
My guess is that real winter will set
in about the middle of December. 1t is
going to be a good season for the coal
dealers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

Julian Hawthorne is quite wrathy over
having been detained longer in the fed
eral prison at Atlanta than he antici-
pated. A great many people are begin
ming to suspect that he wasn't kept there
long enough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

Since Birmingham's already Inadequate
police department has been weakened by
dropping % patrolmen, the gunman, the
thug and the thief wear the smile that
won't come OFF.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

enclosed the following lines to be pub
llshed under the caption of Who Is It.
by X Cuse Me:
Who is it ambies through the state
From dewy morn till monstrous late,
And thinks himself a candy -date2
Why, Hobson.
Who is 1t that Is anywhere.
Except in Congress in his chair,
Although he's paid for being there?
Why, Hobson.
Who is it when there's chance to fling
A dab of mud or some such thing,
And seems to think at this he's king
Why, Hobson.
Who thinks the voter blinds bat,
And hopes to wheedle him meath his
hat,
And get his vote. by JENNY Pat?
Why. Hobson.
Who'll soon look flat as thirty cents,
And grind his teeth with wrath In
tense,
At someone else's vote immense?
Why, Hobson
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

II do not come to interfere with the
business of American women" says Mrs.
Pankhurst She need not. II there is
one trait of the American woman that
stands out pre-eminent, 1t is that of mind
ing her own business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

The fact that the people of Mexico are
paying no attention to the presidential
campaign seems due to the general dis
position to let Huerta do it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-21

Alberto Santos Dumont first flew a di-
rigible balloon around the EiffeI tower IL
1910 Many men can recall it. but it hap
pened before most women are able to re-
member.