davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
YOU GET STUNG
IN EITHER CASE
Famous Pessirnist Proves That II
Is No Use to Try to Escape
From the Heat.

ITO stay to home and swelter or. to
beat It down to What-'s-it It's name by :
the-sea, and then wisht you waa
back THAT there is the problem that
agitates the philosophical intellect en-
during this hot weather" said Harold
Dope. the Henrico County pessimist,
yesterday.
The population these days is d.
vfded into two parts-them that leaves,
and them that stays and suffers from
what the Moo York newspapers calls
psychopathic disturbance, otherwise
known as pipe dreams.
I'm the commonest form Of this tur-
rible malady, the victim. which is prob
ably seated in his chair at the Office
with his feet on the desk, has q hallu-
cination OF himself standing In front
OF a cool, green wave about nine feet
high, which is about to hit him In the
neck.
In the background, the foreground,
the battle-ground and spread around
the edges nj fresco are any old num-
Der of beautifulNgirls in bathing suits.
In the far distance is pavilion. and
a band playing AT the Devils Ball.
and in severe cases the victim imagines
himself dancing the bunny hug without
perspiring.
About that time the boss comes in,
and he RECEIVERS sudden, and finds out
that his pants has stuck to the var
nish on the chair and his collar has
wilted.
Now. what If this pathetic sufferer
gets n vacation or gets fired. and beats
1t to What-in- thunder by -the-way. like
he dreamed Of? He gets hit by a.
sand flea, and steps on jellyfsh, and
watches some other guy teaching his
best girl how to swim.
NO, sir, life amt nothing but one
durn sell after another. and If it
wasn't fer cold beer and philosophy,
1T wouldn't be worth living this kind
Of weather"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

true that tho gradual deelinA Of

true that tho gradual deciin1 of mill
tary prowess in real war IS found
n substitute in this mock oolAbat? 1t
is Cheaper and safer to SEQ fast and
furious football or polo than to be
present ut n battle Tho other games
depend upon alertness. flnesse. trained
nerves and muscles, and combined
plays OF skill. They do not involve
the element OF brute strength. In this
thore is hope. II many folks find Joy
In violent football. many millions more
find daily pleasure and chance for
patriotism in baseball The American
temperament loves brilliant skill, and
hcady competition, while only tho old
residual human passions wake to foot
ball.
Wo cannot leave this theme without
repeating the truth grown stale. that
tennis and the gymnasium. with hun
dreds Of devotees. pay better dividends
to the world than n couple of dozen
on the varsity" teams.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
THE IMPORTANT SCHOOL SUPER
INTEINDI!NT.

Constant increase In the Importance
of the position of state superintendent
Of schools is reported by the United
States Bureau of Education. In his
survey Of educational legislation for
the year, j. C. Boykin, of that depart
ment, asserts that the Importance of
the Office constantly increases. New
duties and responsibilities are steadily
added and larger salaries are offered to
attract and hold men of the calibre to
make the position in fact as we'll as In
name the head of the State educational
system"
That tho tendencies are "all In the
direction of increa sing tho dignity. re-
sponsbility and salary of the State
superintendent" Is manifested by the
recent school legislation. For example,
the Commissioner of Education in Mas
sachusetts was authorized to approve
bills for expenditures from funds
placed under tho direction of the State
Board of Education. In New Jersey,
the State Commits sioner OF Education
how appoints all the county superin-
! tendents, Just as he should do in Vir-
Ginia. In Kentucky, it was enacted
that tho state superintendent shall act
as special Inspector and examiner of
all schools In the State which receive
Public funds For this service he is
paid $500 additional salary, and he
may appoint two assistants Mt $1,000
each por annum. with their expenses
for travelling.
Despite the tendency to emphasize
the power and the responsibility OF the
State superintendent Of schools, salary
inducements have not in all instances
kept pace with the requirements. ut
Is still unfortunately true" says Mr..
Boyliin, that in many cases the super
intendents of the large cities and the
heads OF all the important institutions
In state receive considerably higher
salaries and have far moro certain ten
ure than the man who Is nominally
their official superior"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

No wonder Colonel Goethals. the
Man who built tho Canal. does not
want TO be retired with the rank and
pay Of majorgeneral He wants tho
fun of working n while longer. Tho
nation too can use such man until
he is retired forever by death While
he has strength he can help prevent
floods. or plan cities; when he gets too
oil" for that he can advise and encour-
age the young men. Give him the
rank and pay. please, but don't retire
him.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
HE HOPES TO FIND
new RACE OF: MEN
Prof. Macmillan Optimistic oY
Coming Journey to
Crockerland.
PREPARING FOR EXPEDITION
His Vessel, the Diana, Now
Taking On Supplies at
New York.
PREPARING FOR EXPEDITION
lSpeeial to The Times-Dispatch.l

~. -
New york, June 2e.-Arrfvipg here,
Tor the purpose of taking on board
supplies as we'll as to complete herl
wireless equipment and make last
fa Tor stay Of three on
Tour years In the Arctic as the vessel
OF a scientific expedition. the DianaI
steam schooner. dropped anchor to-
day Off tho Statue of Liberty.
Her appearance attracted not lttJ
tie attention along the Battery, as She
resembles tho old time whalers. which
are rarely seen in the local harboro
she Is threc-masted schooner, and
her commander, Captain Wayt. says'
she can make good time with her
steam auxiliary. She arrived here to-
day from st. Johns. New Foundland.
where she will take on board the mem
Ders OF the Borup scientific expedi-
ton, leaving that city on Friday.
The expedition. which Is under tho
auspices OF tho American Museum Of
Natural History, Is to be in charge Of;
1ect of the party will be to reach
Crockerland. discovered by Robert D.
Peary on one OF his expeditions north
The expedition Will be unique in that
the Diana Will BIO equipped with wiro.
less and the sledges also will be SINH
larry equipped to that at no time Is 1t
believed tho party will be out Of
touch with civilization.
Those who will accompany DR.. Mac
MILAN are DR.. Harrison J. Hunt OF
Bangor, Nc. who will be the physician;
Ensign Fitzhugh Green. a recent graz
uate of Annapolis; Theodore Allen, an.
other navy man. as n wireless OPERATOR;
w. f. Bigelow. of tho University OF
Illinois. as geologist; DR. NJ G. Tan
quarry, of New York, n zoologist; ]. O.
Small OF Provincetown. Mass, mo-
chanic
From Boston tho Diana will proceed
to Sydney, y. S., where timber will
tion OF winter houses When the cargo
Is completed tho vessel will go directly
to Greenland, where she will obtain
Eskimo dog teams and drivers, either
at Disco or Etha. and also lay in
large supply of walrus meat for the
winter.
The winter quarters will he made
at Flagler Bay, the west side OF
Kane Basin. This is about nifty miles
from Cape Sabine. where Lieutenant
C;rcleys eighteen men died of starya-
tion and cold
a large shed is TO be built for the
housing of the wireless outfit A
powerful plant has been furnished by
the United States government, and tho
explorers will he able to send messages
$500 miles distant to Cape Wolsten-
holme, In Hudson Bay. where the Cana
dian government Is completing wire
less station, and Will relay all mes
sagcs
Professor Macmillan considers that
Crockerland is about the only unex-
plored spot OF any Importance on the
surface of the globe. and he thinks
1t may contain n race OF men hitherto
unknown to civilization, and he ex-
poets to find many new species Of ami
mails.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
F l. | E S |!

Horse manure is the princfpal
Matching place for flies.
1t cnn be made sterile with coal
oil, carboiic ncid, copperas water or
dry loan by mixing thoroughly.
Forsemcn, stablemen, owners OF
horses and sanitary inspectors. pay
attention.! Cut this out.
Let 1913 he IA flyleso yenr-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
INSANITY AND
TAX REFORM

The Roanoke Times wants to know
why the Richmond Times-Dispatch
should go SO crazy over tax reform In
Virginia.
we don't know, unless it is for the
purpose Of preventing the States pres
ent taxation system from forming
monopoly on lunacy If our Richmond
contemporary is crazy on the subject
of tax reform, our earnest congratula-
tions are hereby rendered. Pity but
what some other newspapers would get
the bug.
1t seems to be crazy folks and more
doing things and getting somewhere
these days The much vaunted safe
and sane element are, and have ever
been willing to let bad enough alone
For example. where was the editor
OF the Roanoke Times when the pri-
mary system Of nominations was first
being urged in Virginia.? Where was
he when the demand was made for
moro strict regulation OF the liquor
trathc? Where was he on the subject
Of direct election Of United States Sem
ators, railroad rate regulation. employ
ers' liability, child labor legislation
and host Of other State and national
measures which everybody now accepts
as legitimate and necessary?
These reforms have been secured by
crazy people of one kind and another
anarchists. agitators. disturbers Of tho
peace. destroyers of the national honor
rioters. mob-law advocates, etc
Really. the safe and saners have little
to their credit--eXcept their sanity The
so-called crazy folks arc getting re-
suits and making this world n Better
place In which to live.-Wise Virginian.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
HARMONY FOR RICHMOND.

The es-Dispatch wants harmony
In the Richmond government It wants
the various branches to cooperate
with each other and it prays that tho
internal relations OF the departments
Will he kindly and directed toward
helping Richmond. For this reason.
1T delights in the peace conference"
to be held Tuesday in rejoicing over
the pure water we get. Much good
can come from such q meeting
One thing. for example can DO done
lat once: the harmonious departments
can put the supervision OF the health
aspects of our water supply directly
under the Board of Health and it's
chief officer 1t has been suggested
that the Water Department chemist
2nd bacteriologist be made an official
BHf the Health Department. This looks
Flike good beginning. provided the
Water Department does not feel hurt
hand offended. and can make arrange
4ents to secure such help as tho
len'ist may be able to render in direct
nnection with the distribution OF
ter. AS fact, We see no need for
hemist a all save TO determine the
Probability of the water. and the pota-
Ability of tho water is only interest
ng IT concerns health.
In sensible government all this
urore about who is, under whom. and
hat authority has this or that man.
%*ouid give way to n higher ideal OF
community helpfuness. If the Water
- department. finds out that the bacterial
hurt
aame OF sense cannot the Water De-
3lrtment call UP the health officer?
hese men are nothing but hired SER
ants Of tho people They are not
Rad In royal ermine. and do not sit
dinners by precedence and commu-
ate through ENJOYS plenipotentiary.
they have too much pride to help
II34;t hmond, fire them.
his is the kind of harmony we want.
= want team play 10 get tho results.
do not want politics 10 keep the
s. The less friction In any ma
NE the better and bigger the work
= would he delighted never to write
T. Their word of criticism about any
=! 515a pal Sflife. =,
= there can be too much harmony.
gharmony Of self-interest is vicious
~ undermining of public welfare
T. want none of the policy OF YOU
f. - III MY back and I'll scratch yours
is not criticism or personal at
It's horse sense. Talk OF har-
48E ~ nnd pretty junkets are fine. but
pn't help the people OF Richmond
esa5 l. ~ or little. The only test OF har-
az Il the service It produces. There
9'R& ny in the street cleaning SER
~ look at the dirt
he Times Dispatch would hate to
sak up the party Therefore, il
- aestly praises tho Mayor the board
the departments and wishes them
Afterwards we will examine
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
Primary I'm Alexandria.

A1eXandria. Va. June ga primary
Will be held here and in Alexandria
County July s for the purpose of nomi-
lature to represent this city and Alex
andria County in that body. The fight
is three-cornered one between ]. Fred
ell, from the Third Ward: O. p. Angelo,
a locomotive railway engineer, and
Major T. w. r. Ewing, of Ballston,
Alexandria County.
All three candidates are making an
active fight and an interesting contest
Is eXpeCten.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

This from the Ohio State journal
says what we have been thinking: cur
idea of the refinement OF cruelty IS to
send an editor postcards adorned with
allnring pictures of beautiful sylvan
glades with fortunate persons In the
foreground in the very act OF pulling
huge trout out of purling. ripping
and laughing brooks"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
Old Teacher VIII Resign.

Alexandria, Va, June 29.-After be-
ing n teacher for a period of forty
three years, thirty-two being spent in
the primary department of the public
schools of this city, Miss Alberta ".
Sisson. one of the oldest teachers in
point of service in the public schools.
will tender her resignation to the city
school board at its meeting. which
will be held Thursday night next.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
.eyyhite Housev-rrnct Sold.

lSPeclal 10 Inc lllneS-DiSpatcn.J
,; Alexandria, Va. June 2s-Th he
acres. located in Fairfax County. for
merly the homo of Lord Fairfax. was
sold at public auction yesterday and
bid In by Robinson Moncure. Of this
Thompson. John S. West and y. N.
Gibbs IS.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

The Times Dispatch agrees with the
Mayor and tho rest of the good breth-
rem who are crying for harmony and
work. But we do not want just talk
about harmony and work We want n
little of tho zeal things
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
Very Sacred Lines to Captain John A.
Curtis.

Curtis.
He has always answered bravely
To his country's call;
Beloved by his numerous friends
~ IN This State, one and all.
The lightning may fash
The loud cannon rattle,
But never Will he arise again
To ever fight a battle
On GODS eternal camping ground
HIS winding sheet Is spread
Whilst angels guard with solemn round
His cold and clammy bed
Farewell, farewell. is lonely sound.
Ana always brings sigh;
But give to me that good old word
Inat comes from the heart-Good- by.
ANDREW JACKSON ANDREWS.
The Aged Virginia Poet.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

Does President Wilson really want n
place where he can rest and where
time makes no difference? Williams
burg, that's all.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
THE FUTUKIsT COOK.

ri rist art, futurist music futurist
re- futurist dancing. have un-
T. IA pnselves before us. and now
tuNet cooking. Jules Main
arisian chef. proclaims it his
-, ITO free the art of eating from
a8nt degradation" He nffirms
= E.. 400 years no new dish has
- * appearance on our tables.
= ~ ga game dozen recipes under va
r. ~ s. make their regular ap-
How is IL that oil and vine
- - classic blend. while rum mix
+ r.. f gravy Is considered &C.
e. by, indeed? Why should
< - soft shell crabs be har-
= = j. * ~ ~ should not cucumhers
: y d Iimburger cheese he
eiy not mako salad
molasses, raw onions, corn
j sTreen apples? Why not
: ster with buttermlk .ano
- rSscts the blending of
- - q Ire regarded as ire
aid that he dreams
- - mel, garnished with
= 80 = n with gruyere be-
Mornings with rasp-
= scented with Par
18th white rose"
- e. - - 5.5I SO original as he
- = - - S554 many to-day there
o. 90 Of sour and sweet.
- ~ - st the Cantonese.
,l(3s ~ Aand out OF order
Occidental dread
~ Of the present"
In England
g. - ~ f. ury there were
tranger sauces.
- 49,. With am bergris
- curt OF Louis
80, ~ 80, ~ been futurist
- ~ - = Z orth Carolina
= - Virginia The
r. r. - : 81 ,isly favoring
g. ~ rshire sauce,
= 49, a. Ptom OF con
TO- erkraut and
county fash
: o|2 lily smcared
- @ cases in
kking OF the
irist cook :
fILDREN.
he nation
49,. rmed the
cts verify
Dernpcro
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30

One thing they can take of the free
list as far rs we are concerned-ad-
vice
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
THE DEFEAT OF THE n17DCE,T
PLAN.

The Democratic caucus of the House
or Representatives committed a grave
error in rejecting tho budget plan for
making appropriations II prcposed
TO substitute order and method for an
unsvstematic and unwise scheme in
disposinS OF public money. The in
PRODUCTION of tho budget, by which Con
Gress should learn first how much is
needed to operate the government. and
how much IT has appropriated for that
purpose. is a nonpartisan matter. as
10 which parties should not divide The
proposal had the Endorsement of Pres
ident Taft and was vigorously cham
pioned In the House by Majority
Leader Underwood, Speaker Clark and
Chairman Fitzgerald. OF the Appro-
priations Committee. Representatives
who would perpetuate log rolling. trad
ing and dickerlng succeeded In defeat
ing the budget.
II costs millions OF dollars more to
run the government annually than it
ought To cost. Tremendous extrava-
eance and duplication exist. a budget
would cut down expenses and keep
them within reasonable bounds 1T
would check pure waste.
The budget plan is certain OF ultI-
mate adoption. The Democratic party,
as the traditional advocate OF economy
and retrenchmcnt. should be RESPONSE
bic for its creation. There must be
somo central audit. The budget Is
nothing more than the application of
sound business principles TO govern
ment, and the people will continue to
demand IT until they get it.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
DIVIDENDS FROM CoLLEGE SPORTS.

- -
The always interesting Christian
Science Monitor reflects on the rca-
sons why one college sport Is more
popular than another. Tho question
comes from the startling figures pub
lished recently as TO one years athletic
budget at Harvard. They provo with
cold statistics the affection felt by
rious sports.
Football. as usual declared the
largest dividends. The gross income
was Sl27,720, and OF this nearly 100000
was net profit. Baseball cleared $4,000,
and hockey, for the first time. made
little more than expenses Such
lame ducks as tennis. golf. shooting.
basketball and track had to be sup
ported by the profits from the major
sports. Despite this handicap. the
season returned a profit of about S2S,-
600
The Monitor asks why football
makes big money and baseball only a
moderate bit, while the rest arc also
rams" 1t suggests that somo sports
charge no gate fees to spectators. as
golf and boating. All the others, prac-
tically, do charge for entrance. and
lose heavily. The final answer is that
people want TO get a big nervous thrill.
with plenty OF primitive emotion, and
they pay for it.
We are tempted to agree with this
conclusion. and ask whether the other
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
Voice Of the People
The Deadly Auto,

The Deadly Automobile.
To the Editor OF The Times-D ispatch:
Sir,-1our able editorial. "Automo-
bile Legislation" in to-day's issue is
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
From the Hickeyvillc clarion.

1t is warming up some at this writ
ing, and Amariah Tilson, the leading
comedian ana bon vivant down &c the
barber shop, can stand out in front
OF the shop in the sun and show his
new gold tooth, and he laughs at his
whose millinery emporium is across
the street, has ma6e u complaint to
Constable Ezra Hand that the retiec-
ton from ANS gold tooth when the
sun plays on 1t hits her In the eyes.
She don't allow no smart Alec to
cast any reflections on her.
Swazey Creek Is flooded, and Ezra
Harkins, our local weather burear,
has consulted his rheumatic and says
tenth higher. When 1t comes to
weather. Uncle Ezra is not only n
bureau, but a whole bedroom set Col
oncl Fri Nudge Is going to try and
hoat n stock company. Five lives
have been lost hare up to this writ
Ing, Hank Tumms's Plymouth Rock
and four pullets being the victims
There is three feet OF water in tho
basemen: of William Tibbettss gen
eral store, and cshin' through Knot
holes in the floor Is all the rage.
Grandpa Bibbins has caught the rub
Der boot and a second hand zinc wash
board. Hi Hugiyins. bass drummer
in tho Silver Cornet Band. stole the
clapper of the meetin' house bell to
play tho bass drum with. as Consta-
bic Ezra Hand Is using the regular
drumstick for a billy club at this
writing. Tire trouble with the meetin'
house clapper is that Hi can't play
nothing but sacred music on the bass
drum with 1t.
Lem Purdy, vino is visiting here
from West Hickevville, said TO Hank
Tumms: II see YOU are putting up
Il lot of new buildings In this town
lately" Yes replied Hank, chat Is
the only kind OF buildings we ever put
up"
The poet who wrote that many a
flower was born TO blush unseen, was
burned liar. The neighbors chick
ems kin sec our flowers when they
are still a foot and half under
ground
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-30
&
ANSWERS

Inc Hartley VIII.
lev WY W iisn not the Will of James Hart.
EDWARD McRURE
The matter lay within the power NJ
tne persons interested. and they acted
IN 1t a they chose S'eu
Snakes.
Can you inform me for what mr.
pose snakes were put upon the earth !?
oa rta690sAl% sn aiTpeng S S'ns5 '&ass
ter makes the utterly gratyitous 60
SUMPTION that the earth was prepared
nnu s'o Wom,d mainly 2, as a residence for
cordant with the facts to suppose tbat
IL was Intended primarily as a harbor
s founded and that thsy look with
trusion OF murderous men?
Tax Period In virginia.
Exactly what time does the annual
tax period cover in Virginia and In
Richmond city? Where IS ths ls@s ;"
= From the beginning of the day, Feb
ruary l, through the day, January 81
next ensuing. except in case of corpo-
paG1o to the state Cor
year runs with the fiscal year from
July l. The law may. be found In tho
Code or Virginia and in tho special
compilation. Tax Laws Of Virginia
Lincoln and the Slaves.
Did President Lincoln ever promise
that he would see that the South was
remunerated for slaves If peace were
promptly made? STITDENT
Not so far as any one knows At
the Fortress Monroe conference Presi-
dent Lincoln declared himself favor
able to such payment. but explicitly
refused to bind his government
to anything in the direction So
soon as he got back to Wash
ington he drafted a message to
Congress and a proclamation looking
towards an immediate peace. and in
volving the payment of $500. 600, 900 in
per cent bonds of the United States
to the Confederate States in proportion
to their slave population. The Cabi-
net unanimously disapproved of the
plan and it was dropped.