The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-28
THE EVENING STORY
ssThat 'Tarnal Hog"
(By Donald Allen. }

ssrhat 'Tarnal Hog"
(Ry Donald Allen.)
One day as Farmer Aikens came up
from the field to his dinner his wife
asked:
..Enoch, did you hear that hog
squealing about an hour ago?"
yes"
1T was down by the sheep pas
ture.''
Yes"
ct knew it wasn't one of our hogs
and so 1 didn't go down..
ut was that ,tarnal hog of Bebee's,
and he got hung in the fence for about
ten minutes. Wish he'd got squoze to
death, but no such good luck.
Farmer Beebee had twenty seven
hogs, but when folks spoke of his
'"tarnal hog" they referred to par
ticular one of the twenty-seven. He
was a spotted hog two years old. He
was a mean-1ooking hog and he was
up to more deviltry tnan any dozen
swine in the county. He was known
and hated for five miles around, and
more than one farmer had threatened
his life.
1t might be reasoned that when a
peaceable farmer came to know that
he had a hog that was troubling his
neighbors he would either sell or
make pork of him. Farmer Bebee
was a good man as men go, but he was
singularly "sot' about that hog. He
named him Napoleon while his TWEEN
ty-six other swine had to squeal
around without even being called Jim
or Tom. When men complained of
the damage wrought the owner Of
Napoleon would say:
yes, but we've got to give hog
chance. If we didn't give boy
chance he'd go to the devil for sure
Give Napoleon a chance to settle down
and he'll make a steady old hog"
butcher?'
Because he's sorter taken a liking
to me, and he knows I have to him.
He won't allow any other person to
times he looks at me as if saying that
he knew L was his only friend. No.
L will neither sell nor kill Napoleon"
And so that -"tarnal hog wandered
where he listed, and did what he
pleased, and the day and the hour
came when he squeezed through a
hole in the roadside fence into the
sheep pasture of Neighbor Atkins.
two and mayhap slept and dreamed.
A mechanical engineer will swear by
all the saints that a hole large enough
for a hog to squeeze through one way
is large enough for him to squeeze
through when he wants to return. 1t
is a law of mechanics, and yet it failed
in this instance. The hog got fast and
struggled and wriggled and squealed,
and it was many minutes before he
worked himself loose to arrive home
minus handfuls of bristles and patches
of hide.
ITS Atkins has done it," exclaimed
Farmer Bebee. HE hates Napoleon,
and has been trying to kill him. Wall,
I'm goin' to have something to say
to a man that will try to kill hog in
cold b1ood!'
And after he had eaten his dinner
he walked down the road to say it.
He found Farmer Atkins smoking his
pipe and began at once:
"See here, George, what sort of a
critter are you?"
"a tolerably good one-why?' was
the reply.
Il don't think 50. 1 think you come
mighty nigh of bein' a murderer"
"Shoo, Moses, but what ails We ?"
"You tried to kill Napoleon this
forenoon"
.'I didn't even set eyes on him.
From the looks of him you must
have tried to run him through your
-Sheller!
You are way off, Moses. The wife
heard a hog squealin' bout 1even
o'clock, and 1 think did, but we can't
say it was your hog, nor what he was
Fit was my hog, and darn the man that
chopped him with axi
But who could have done SIGH a
thiEg?'
''Mebbe I'm lookin' right at him this
rninit!''
And mebbe you're an old liar.
And mebbe you're another, and hog
murderer to bootH
Tom must never come to see Euniee
aginn'
And Eunice shall never be one of my
familyi''
Nine times out of ten, when neighbors
Quarrel a son and daughter are in love
and must suffer for it. Tom Bebee ana
kunice Aikens had courted for a year
and were engaged
Tom, you are to keep away from
Aikens' after this" announced Farmer
For why2' was asked.
Because he tried to murder Napoleon
this afternoon, and has said you should
never marry into his family. You want
to show your independence and let 'em
know you don't care a tinker's dunn"
But Eunice and 1 are to be married in
mot this fall or any other fall, unless
you want to leave the house and farm
and shift for yourself"
And Farmer Alkens entered his house
ing hard to say to his daughter:
'sEurlice I have forbid Tom Bebee to
enter my house again."
why father" she exclaimed.
.-Old Bebee has just charged me with
irwin to murder that 'tarnal hog of his"
But you didn't"
..Of course not but he stuck to it that 1
did You are not goin' to marry into any
such family as that"
So things went along for several
months, and after the first fortnight bor1
fathers began to wish they hadn't They