Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-01-24

As minister; ii is the SWEETEST job
"f all that | kin see.
Ihe nam who goes to Timbuct"o
Has got IA sinecirc clear through,
He doesn't have to worry o'er the
articles of dress;
AN old plug hat is all he needs
And then, perhaps. :. string OF beads.
The rest of his apparel he can sim
ply guess.
lie is one of the bowling swells;
The finest of the village bellies
stand round about him each hot day
and wave their gorgeous fans;
They think because "A feiler's white
That he is simply out of sight;
He has u thousand worsliipcrs i'm
varied browns and tanS.
Tho life out there is simply grand:
A Teller just sits i'm the sand
And watches the graceful seagull i'm
his native habitat.
The natives come and make salaam
And bow their heads tn Uncle Sam.
! never will he happy until I get u
job like that.
a felier kin just lie and dream.
Ear from the launts nj farnessed
steam.
Won do not have to toll away like
any common lob.
1t seems to suit me through and
through.
There's mo- "a bit of work to do.
And that's why Mr.. Wilson. ! prefer
that sort of job.
SIGNS.
When the house starts d dice game
1t is Il sign that the house doesn't cN-
pect to- lose anything ny ii.
When Il man lives IN "a corner lot
1t is "a sign that he is going to have
n lot of SnOW to shovel.
When IL man suddenly cultivates a
new line Of profanity it is Il sign that
he Is running his own furnace.
When :; wife start i'm early i'm the
morning to pay her husband cOlnpli-
mcnts il is a sign that she will he at
his office in the afternoon i'm $. arch of
a check.
When {; man continually hoists his
right foot. and feels around with 1t
ahsentmindcdly ii is a sign that he
has been ~frcQucnting places where
there are long brass rails about i, foot
from the floor.
THE OLD FASHIONED MAN.
The things that ] am fond of the four
hundred never eat.
The clothing that l dote ON is con-
sidercd indiscreet.
My friends all counsel exercise when
ever l take my ease.
And when l exercise they say IN
bring ON heart disease.
The music that is proper is all of a
classic style.
For me the oid-ti,nc hearth songs have
it beaten by IL mile.
My hooks arc not 10y Henry James,
although he is au fait.
i like the tales that 1'hackeray and
Walter Scott relate.
i don't like plays by Bernard Shaw:
I'm very much afraid
ld rather see the standard kind that
Charlotte Cushman played.
1'he game of golf. | must confess,
do not know at all.
Somehow my Instinct seems to run to
common old baseball.
At bridge. which is the stylish game.
I'm green as any monk:
MY research has included only pedro, !
sicdge and funk.
l don't like ten course dinners where
you wait and eat and wait;
I'd rather sit down family style with |
plenty on my plate.
] don't like standup collars. for they !
always saw my neck.
A SILK hat makes me fell lust like a
corn doctor. by heck.
With high falutin' COINS on. I'm all
ways out vi tune
And sit home quiet by the. fire Id al
ways just at soon.
I've oft lleen told by stylish folks that |
am out of date:
That l was put upon this earth one /
century too late.
the other folks can think me odd. III
don't care what they say.
I'm pretty mlddlin' happy In my own
old fasfcped way.
Here Is one of. julius Tannen's
latest: