davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
WEARiED or UPS AND DOWNS
Brother May Have Been Right, but
Sister Tired Of His Too Long
MINDED Explanation.

John Ito his sister Sue, who has
been motoring with her beau) Did
you have pleasant trip, Sis dear?''
Sue Ito her brother John)-"Oh,
1t was just lovely! And we went over
mountains-just up one hill and down
another. for ever such distance"
You went how"
up one hill and down another"
Did you have an airship along?"
"Of course not, you silly!"
Then, how did you go up one Hill
and down another"
In the auto, on perfectly lovely
road. The hills were not SO high that
you would have to fly"
What you mean, Sis dear, is that
you went down one hill and up an
other-not up one hill and down an
other"
Don't act silly! How could we get
to the top of a hill to go down hill
if we didn't go up first? We certainly
went up one hill and down another,
just as ! said"
You certainly did not-you went
down one hill and up another, just as
| am telling you. You may have gone
up one hill and down that same hill;
and then you went up another hill and
down that same hill. You see, Sis
dear, before you could go up one hill
and down another hill altogether you
would have to have an airship to fly
from the top of this first hill to the
top Of that other hill, and you admit
that"
But Sue did not wait to hear the
rest.-Lippincott's.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
HAD SOME JOYS TO RECOUNT
Tickets, but Day Was Not Aito-
gether Without Fun.

When that spectacular drama Of
Africa, 'Th eGarden of Allah" re-
Gently appeared in Washington, with
its troop of camels and donkeys To-
lend atmosphere to the scenes. BeveT-
ly, a tropical small boy Of ten, hast
ened to offer his services, when they
arrived in the city Monday morning.
as carrier of water and food snr
the beasts, hoping thereby to get 4
seat among the gallery gods for kts
labors.
The next afternoon Beverly was
seen sitting enthroned among party
of his companions, all evidently listesf
ing eagerly to the tales of his Liant
nights experience.
We'll, Beverly" hailed passing
acquaintance, did you get into tine
show for looking after the animals7~
No" replied Beverly But" be
added, swelling with pride as his eoRs-
rades gazed eagerly upon him. -
donkey kicked me and camel tried To
bite mel"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
YET she WAS NOT SATISFIED
Bathhcuse Attendants Explanation
About as Satisfactory as That
Made by Some Trusts.

Senator Vardaman, at luncheon.
said of certain trusts defense:
THE defense is worse than the Of
Tense. 1t takes me back to Bath
Beach.
"A young lady at Bath Beach had
occasion to complain about one of the
bathhouse attendants, an old fellow
who in the hurry of cleaning up would
sometimes burst in upon her in her
bathhouse without knocking.
"One morning after this had hap
pened for the sixth or seventh time
the young lady took the old fellow to
task
See here, Peters, she said there's
no lock on my bathhouse, as you
know, and must insist on your knock
ing before you enter. 1t hasn't hap
pened yet, but it might very well hap
pen, that you'd come in on me when
was all undresed'
Peters, with chuckle, fastened to
reassure the young lady on this point.
No fear of that, MISS he said.
No fear of that There's knothole
in the door what | always look
through before venture in
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Qisqusted Fan"

George Mcconnell, the Yankee
pitcher, has very bright little boy of
five. The youngster, who goes to mos:
of the ball games with his mother, is
a very sore" loser. One day he
was Disguised to see hin father knock
ed out of the box. The next day Jack
Wafhop suffered The same sort of
treatment, and after de had dressed
he went to sit with the Mcconnell
family in the grand stand
He and the little Mcconnell boy
are the best of chums, but this day
Hops" could not get rise out Of
the little codger Every advance was
met with cold disdain. Finally the
boy could repress his wrath no
longer
Go on away from me-" he said,
and don't ever talk to me again gill
you win game. You're almost as
rotten as dad"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
PL0W DEVISED BY ABRAHAM
University Of Pennsylvania Has Pic.
ture of Probably First Ma
chine of Its Kind.

The University of Pennsylvania
has just discovered that it owns what
is believed to be the first picture of
the pillow invented by Abraham CEN
turtles ago. According to the Egyp-
tologists at the museum, their trans
lations of the hieroglyphics show
that Abraham was the progenitor Of
the harvester trust.
While plows undoubtedly were used
before the time of this invention, the
Abraham pillow Is combination seed
er and planter, and, according to the
inscription on the picture, three men
were necessary to operate it.
The picture was made upon Baby
lonian brick, which was the custom in
those days. The apparatus had a
tube-like attachment, into which the
seeds we're poured. A vessel above
the ground facing the frame Of the
pillow was used as receptacle for the
seed, and then the harrow was at
tached to the back of the pillow.
The Babylonians sowed and titled
according to Abraham's commands,
and with his invention they feared
neither the ravens nor any othe,
birds that devoured their grain.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08

London is the most conservative
city in Europe, If not in the world.
1t loves its lumber. You may still
see those notices attached to lamp
posts which announce Standing for
Four Hackney Carriages" or what
ever the number may be, though for
ten years Tin one case, to my own
knowledge, for 25) no vehicles of any
kind have stood there. Perhaps II
is as well that these relics should
remain; they are tiny part of our
social history. They will probably re-
main when we are flying to dinner or
the theater In omni-aeros. By that
time people won't know what hack
ney carriage" meant, and there will
be discussions in the Notes and
Queries" OF the period For each gen.
Grafton hands down to the next GER
tain nuts to crack.-London Chroni
Gle
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
sCi4SSaskass c.
They WANTEDADOC
But Got a Baby Which Beats
the Best Canine
Living.
BY c. q. CRAWFORD.

They were lonely old couple.
Seth Earl was sixty and his wife,
Ada, fifty-five. If they had had chill
dren living they could have faced the
future more hopefully. But the lone
Illness that had always encompassed
them since their only boy, Arthur,
had died in babyhood, seemed to be
closing in around them more tightly
from day to day, like a tangible thing.
They owned their house in the vii
lage and Earl's pension from the cor
poration that had employed him for
80 years, small though it was, pro-
vided them with the necessities OF
life. Since Earl had retired he had
mooned aimlessly about the garden
plot He had always looked forward
to his long holiday to life of leis-
ured ease, and now life seemed to
offer nothing.
Once, five years before, they had
discussed adopting child. But Seth
had never returned to the subject.
The look upon his wife's face har-
AOWCu iiAi, anu nc huSW tudl hO
child could ever take the place Of
their little boy whose photograph was
the only picture In the neat little par
lor
II guess I'm too old to start caring
for child now, Seth" said his wife.
Besides, we'd be in our graves, as
like as not, before it was grown old
enough to shift for itself"
Both of them had always been
somewhat afraid of life, and both
shrank from new enterprises. The
narrow round of their days had be-
come rut along which they travelled
aimlessly.
If only l had something, II only a
dog he said to himself THAT would
be company. He'd come to wake me
mornings. barking and wagging his
tail, and then what walks we'd have
together. Well, why not? Why
shouldn't l have a dog? Other men
have one."
AS he expected, Ada offered strong
opposition to the suggestion. But
Seth was insistent over his tremen-
dous plan, and gradually his enthusi-
asm won his wife over.
He'd muss up the house and
scratch things" she protested. but
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
GRAY HAIR, GOODBYE!
Q-BAN HAIR COLOR RESTORER
Bottled az tho "F ountain OFFER
pstual Youth" and a Friend of
A1l Th0se who Value Their
Personal Appearances.

Drop the numerous hair dyes-they can
only cause you disappointment. Q-Ban
Hair Color Restorer acts directly on the
color pigments in the tiny vessels that
make up the pith of the hair. Q-Ban, in
this way, brings to the hair surface the
natural youthful color of the hair BY
this treatment the hair is made healthy
and vigorous, and the gray part disap-
pears. The scalp is at the same time
made clear and free from dandruff
No use of thin crispy hair faded or
streaked' with gray in either man or wo-
man, when by applying Q-Ban Hair Color
Restorer you may have a fine head of
fluffy. natural colored hair. BY applying
QBan Hair Color Restorer age is no
more barrier to social or business sue
cess. People with gray hair are at a
great disadvantage. ButS try only one
bottle of Q-Ban Hair Color Restorer and
note the difference in your hair, in your
mental attitude and in the way the world
greets you. All that is necessary is the
occasional application to the hair and hair
roots of Q-Ban Hair Color Restorer. 1t is
safe and pleasant to use and we guar
antee satisfaction. Q-Ban Hair Color Re-
storer contains no dye or poisonous lead.
1t makes the hair soft and luxuriant.
1t gives life and beauty to the hair.
AT good druggists, SOC bottle If yours
does not keep 1t send us his name and soc
In stamps or silver and a bottle will be
sent you promptly. Hessig- Ellis Drug Co.,
Memphis, Tenn.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
IN PAIN WITH HEMORRHOIDS

Bissell, Ala.-'I was troubled for
several years with protruding hemor-
rhoids. They caused pain of the most
severe kind and some loss Of blood.
They were SO infiamed that the touch
of anything against them was most
intense agony. l got 10 rest nights
and had to have my legs and feet
propped up In the bed
Il tried all kinds Of advertised
cures, and was told that an opera
ton was the only relief. suffered
untold agony. l saw the advertise
ment of Cuticura Soap and Ointment
and sent for sample: l tried it and
then procured box Of Cuticura Soap
and Cuticura Ointment was cured
sound and well in three weeks time.
A cake Of Cuticura Soap and two boxes
of Cuticura Ointment accomplished
what all else failed to do" (Signed)
L. R. Cook, Nov. IL, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L. Boston. ADV.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08

wife. You'd think it might be babies
they were giving away instead OF
dogs. reckon" she added thought
fully. "she must be one of those suf-
fragettes."
Well, suppose we'll just have to
give up thinking about a dog" an
swered her husband gloomily.
Now, isn't that just like you,
Seth!' replied his wife. "The mo-
ment a triGe happens to upset your
plans you want to give up. You
promised me dog and dog I'm go
ing to have"
Seth looked at his variable wife In
amazement But / thought you
1idn't like the idea of getting a dog,
Ada" he said.
Il did and didn't. When you first
spoke about getting dog naturally
| was scared little. But I've been
thinking 1t over since and-O, Seth,
want a dog as much as you ana
more" she sobbed.
Her husband drew her to him ten
derby Her old gray head rested upon
his shoulder. He knew it was the
instinct of motherhood within her that
had provoked her grief At last she
dabbed her handkerchief to her eyes
and smiled at him.
Ada, my dear, you're going to have
your dog, and the finest in the land"
he said, even if it takes the last pen
ny of our savings"
But It's not going to cost a penny,
Seth" she answered Because I'm
going into town tomorrow and-and-
I'm going to bring back our dog"
Seth Earl put his wife aboard rne
train next morning. He was to do
the homework that day, while she
was gone upon their ,errand And as
the hours rolled by he, too, was over
taken by the same Impotence that
had overcome his wife on the proceed
ing day, and he, too, found himself
busting the furniture and straighten-
ing the chairs as though human oc-
cupant were expected. And when at
last he heard tinkle at the bell he
could hardly open the door, he felt so
shaken.
Ada stood at the door, basket in
her arms, and her eyes were bright
with happiness, and the look on her
face was almost like that she had
worn on their wedding day. She en-
tered and set the basket down.
Let me see him. cried Seth, as
she began to unfasten the blanket
that covered 1t. as it a fox-terrier,
Ada? 1t must be a puppy"
He Jumped as child's feeble wall
came to his ears and looked at his
wife in terror as, with motherly fin
gers, she pinned back the coverings,
disclosing fine baby boy.
You goose" said Ada softly. THAT
was the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children you sent me to.
And when | saw the babies lying In
their little cots all in row / wanted
to take them all and-and-"
Il wish you had, dear" answered
her husband ecstatically. This beats
the best dog living"
Copyright. 1918, by w. G. Chapman)
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Wanted to Be a Puppy.

Margaret, as usual, wanted to leave
the table with her hands full of bread
and jam.
Margaret" said her mother. cant
you remember that your grandfather
said that you reminded him of little
puppy taking his bone out to chew?"
Margaret slipped from the table
with her bread.
Pansy watched her sister silently.
and then fixed herself small piece
of bread and jam, then turning to her
mother her big brown eyes she said
meekly: Mamma, may be a little
puppy Fudge.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Summer Hearts,

The sea was blue and sparkling
The white sand glittered in the sun
shine. A great wind, moist and COO
and redolent of salt, blew steadily.
Stirred, doubtless, by the same and
tonic beauty of the scene, all the
young people at Atlantic City seemed
to be sweethearts. Bathing. they
bathed handin-hand. Seated on the
sand, their shoulders touched. They
walked arm-in-arru upon the broad
wind-swept promenade
All this proximity caused Nat Willis
the actor, to say with smile:
Distance lends enchantment, but
the average summer girl and summer
man prefer to borrow at another
bank"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
parIno Aeronaur shy Of Horse.

A lockwood farmer thinks these
ballooAist fellows are queer. He is
still scratching his head over a
strange remark by Capt. Honeywell.
AS the balloon was packed and ready
for shipment to st. Louis. a farmer
standing near, offered his team to
transport the balloon and the men to
lockwood. Honeywell demanded to
know II the horse was safe one.
Yes" said the farmer. but a bit
afraid of automobiles" Nothing do.
ing then" said Honeywell Il wouldn't
care to risk my life behind scary
horse" And Honeywell had ridden a
balloon from Kansas City. fleeing be-
fore a storm the whole way!-Toledo
Blade.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Power.

Woman having decided to wear
modest clothes, an extra session OF
congress was Immediately called. The
president was present in person.
THE gravity Of the situation" he
said, sis unnecessary for me to dilate
upon. The question is-what can be
doLe?"
A committee was appointed to wait
upon the ladies, who remained firm
Wall street was suspended and the
leading banks all failed. The balance
OF trade reverted against us by several
billions, and on top of this the crops
gave indications of total collapse.
Thereupon woman, tanning herself,
complacently remarked:
What Is the use of having suffrage
when we can do things like this?"-
Life.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Novelist Mlsquoted Scripture.

Novelists do not seem to be very
strong in their knowledge of the scrip
lures somehow, and Sir Walter Scott
In THE Heart of Midlothian" at
tempts to point moral with the
words: Our simple and unpretend-
ing heroine had the merit of those
peacemakers to whom it is promised
as benediction that they shall in
herit the earth" The fact is that
the peacemakers did not receive any
such promise, but it is said that the
meek shall inherit the earth"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08

In Puritan times. though the bob
bins were carved with texts warning
the workers against the romps and err
rors of this wicked world, lace was
still worn to great extent, the family
of Oliver Cromwell in particular hav'
ing a decided penchant for the more
costly varieties. and after his death
his body was clothed in a garment
more richly trimmed with lace and
ermine than that of any hing before
him.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08

If you've set your heart on dog
suppose you must have one. But
wbere'd you get dog, Seth? A good
dog would cost $40 and we haven't
dollar to spare. Nobody we know
has dogs to give away--leastways.
not good dogs"
\ 20, yes, we can get dog an
swered Seth promptly "The Society
mails has dogs to give away. was
reading something about 1t in the
paper yesterday. 1t says they pick
up stray dogs that nobody wants, and
lost dogs that no one claims. or that
have got turned adrift, and give them
away to anybody that will guarantee
them good home. Ada" he contin-
ued firmly. I'm going into town to-
morrow to see that society, and I'm
coming home with dog"
well, / suppose he can eat the
scraps" said his wife grudgingly. The
imminence of the event startled-al-
most terrified-her, but her husbands
eagerness Quenched all further objec-
lions ON her part She even began
to picture their neat little home with
its new occupant
Il hope he won't be a noisy, ill-tem-
pered dog, Seth,'' she said. And
doct you get one that's going to
bark ali night. unless there's burglars
round. And mind he isn't biting
dog"
they discussed all manner OF dogs
G,at night and finally settled upon a
fox terrier as likely to give the most
satisfaction. When Seth had depart
ed next morning Ada found. to her
establishment, that she had become
almost as eager as her husband She
paced the floor nervously in the inter-
walls between her duties, and once she
caught herself In the act of polishing
the chairs, as though some human
visitor were expected. 81 wonder
what sort Of deg Seth will bring back
with him." she unused.
And when at length Seth stood at
the door, detected and dogless, great
discomfort settled upon her
Couldn't you find a single dog that
would suit, Seth?" she snapped out.
Couldn't get near EN-" her hus-
band answered alphabetically. 81
found the society all right. but the
woman secretary wouldn't let me in.
No, nor even finish what had begun
to say. hadn't got the word adopt
out OF my mouth before she asked me
II were married. Married 30 years.
answered, 80 years. ma'am, and to
the best woman Then bring your
wife slong, she said. We don't have
dealings with men,"
You mean to say they take all that
trouble about dog?" INQUIRED his
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
REAL MERIT HAS MADE
BONDS LIVER PILLS

a household word through the South.
We have spared neither time nor
money in perfecting BONDS PILLS
for the cure Of Headaches, Bilious
ness, Constipation, Malaria, and sim
liar ills. MERIT was our chief object.
Not how cheap" but how good we
could make them.
The extraordinary success of
BONDS PILLS is due solely to their
MERIT, not to loud and misleading
claims of CURING EVERYTHING
ADV.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
sounded verv AIarmino.

Simmons had returned from his va
cation.
II certainly enjoyed the husking-
bees" he said to young woman.
Were you ever in the country during
the season of husking-bees?"
"Husking- bees exclaimed the girl;
why, of course not! How do you husk
a bee anyway, Mr. Simmons?"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
INTERNATIONAL
SUNDGyS([lOOL
LESSON
by r. o. SELLERS, Director OF Even
ing Department The Moody Bible In
stitute of Chcago.)
LESSON FOR AUGUST 10
THE PASSOVER.
EssoN rExT-Ex. 12:21-sl.

LESSON TEXT-Ex. 12:21-31.
GOLDEN TEXT-"The Son OF man
came not to be ministered unto, but IN
minister, and to give His life a ransom
for many, Matt. Pops.
There was two-fold preparation be-
fore partaking of the passover sup
per, The lamb had to be properly So
lected and definitely kept period of
four days, Elk 1896 Then those who
ate had to make proper preparation
first in the previous eating (12:f5)
and second in the dress they were
to wear while partaking OF the feast
". ID. Everywhere throughout the
subsequent references the Passover
lamb Is used as type of the Christ.
We have chosen to add verses 91-36
and to make four-fold division of the
lesson.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
THE BEST HOT WEATHER tonic, y.
GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
The Old Standard, General Tonic Drives Malaria
Enrches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System
FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

combination of QUNINE and IRON
GROVES chill
Weakness general debility and loss appetite life
Pale Sticky Children
depression and low liver
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Easy to Tell What He Thought.

Easy to Tell What He Thought.
Little Jerome, aged FIVE, heard his
mother read from the beauty column
of the paper that eating raw carrots
would make one beautiful. A short
time ago he was called into the room
to view his baby sister for the first
time. His mother asked him what he
thought of her Taking a good look
at hes he answered in a Disguised
tone, Lets give her carrot. Chi
cago Tribune.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
She Showed It.

Senator Lodge said of lobbyist
whose lobbying had failed:
HE tried to accept defeat with
urbanity, but consciously he showed
his chagrin. Poor chap, he resembled
Mrs. Smythe.
Mrs. Smythe called on friend, ex-
pecting to be asked to stay for lunch
con- But the friend didn't ask her,
and so Mrs. Smythe, secretly much
disappointed and put out, rose to 60.
"She didn't intend In the least to
show her regret. but involuntarily. as
she put out her hand she said:
well. good.by, dear Mrs Lunch
con-"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08

HEADACHE AND BI1OUs ATTACKS
Caused by Malaria removed by the use
of Elixir Babek cure for such ailments.
Myself and whole household had suf-
fered very much for some time with
Malarial Fever. Elixir Babek' has
cured us perfectly. so that we enjoy at
present the best of health. Jacob Eb-
erly, Fairfax Court House. Va.
Elixir Babek SO cents. all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from Kloczew-
ski & Co., Washington, D. G.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Common Symptoms In Children

Common symptoms In Children
are headache, high temperature, foul
breath, picking at nose, and grinding
of teeth, sure indications of worms.
Give the child Frey's vermifuge &C
cording to directions aud watch re-
suits. At all dealers 26c.-Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1913-08-08
Like the Rest of Mankind.

We'll, Harry" said the visitor, play
fully, what are you doing for liv.
ing now"
Why replied the little fellow. sol
EMMY, Il DO Just the sane as you
dol eat"