davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
WEARlED OF UPS AND DOWNS
Brother May Have Been Right, but Sister Tired of His Too Long
 Minded Explanation.

John (to his sister Sue, who has been motoring with her beau)-"Did you have pleasant trip, Sis dear?"
 Sue (to her brother John)-"Oh, it was just lovely! And we went over mountains-just up one hill and down another, for ever such distance"
 You went how?'
 Up one hill and down another"
 Did you have an airship along?"
 "Of course not. you silly!'
 Then, how did you go up one hill and down another?"
 Tn the auto, on a perfectly lovely road. The hills were not so high that you would have to fly"
 What you mean, Sis dear, is that you went down one hill and up an other-not up one hill and down an other
 Don't act silly! How could we get to the top of hill to go down hill if we didn't go up first? We certainly went up one hill and down another, just as | said"
 You certainly did not-you went down one hill and up another, just as am telling you. You may have gone up one hill and down that same hill; and then you went up another hill and down that same hill. You see, Sis dear, before you could go up one hill and down another hill altogether you would have to have an airship to fly from the top of this first hill to the top of that other hill. and you admit that
 But Sue did not wait to hear the
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
"OI6" Indeed.

NI refuse" declared the star, when the manager had registered the com pany at the Palace hotel in Pumpkin Center, ito appear in this detestable town. You can let my understudy go on tonight"
 Whats the matter. Miss Belling- ham? You simply must appear this evening. The house has been sold out on the strength of your popularity here"
 q don't care, I never will come to this place again. The local paper has the audacity to refer to me as 'an old favorite.' l want you to hofsewhip the editor"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Wanted to Be a Puppy.

Margaret, as usual, wanted to leave the table with her hands full of bread and jam.
 Margaret" said her mother. cant you remember that your grandfather said that you reminded him of little puppy taking his bone out to chew?"
 Margaret slipped from the table with her bread.
 Pansy watched her sister silently, and then fixed herself a small piece of bread and jam, then turning to her mother her big brown eyes she said meekly: Mamma, may I be a little puppy too ?'-Judge.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Summer Hearts.

The sea was blue and sparkling, The white sand glittered in the sun. shine. A great wind, moist and cool and redolent of salt, blew steadily
 Stirred, doubtless, by the same and tonic beauty of the scene, all the young people at Atlantic City seemed to be sweethearts. Bathing, they bathed hand-in-hand. Seated on the sand, their shoulders touched. They walked arm-in-arm upon the broad, wind-swept promenade.
 All this proximity caused Nat Wills, the actor, to say with a smile:
 Distance lends enchantment, but the average summer girl and summer man prefer to borrow at another bank"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Disgusted "Fan."


George Mcconnell, the Yankee pitcher, has very bright little boy of five. The youngster, who goes to most of the ball games with his mother, is very sore" loser. One day he was disgusted to see his father knock ed out of the box. The next day Jack Warhop suffered the same sort of treatment, and after he had dressed he went to sit with the Mcconnell family in the grand stand.
 He and the little Mcconnell boy are the best of chums, but this day Hops" could not get a rise out of the little codger. Every advance was met with cold disdain. Finally the boy could repress his wrath no longer
 Go on away from me-" he said and don't ever talk to me again till you win game You're almost as rotten as dad"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
She Showed It

Senator Lodge said of a lobbyist whose lobbying had failed:
 "He tried to accept defeat with urbanity, but consciously he showed his chagrin. Poor chap, he resembled Mrs. Smythe.
 Mrs. Smythe called on a friend, ex- pecting to be asked to stay for lunch con. But the friend didn't ask her, and so Mrs. Smythe, secretly much disappointed and put out, rose to go.
 She didn't intend in the least to show her regret. but involuntarily. as she put out her hand, she said:
 Well, goodby, dear Mrs. Lunch con"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Confirmed.

When I went up to the altar to be married" said the man who always had to furnish proof that it was on account of business when he remain ed away from home late at night, "I seemed to be in a dream"
 Well" replied the confirmed bache Tor, that only goes to show that sleep walking is one of the most dangerous practices man can indulge in.'
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Novelist Misouoted Scripture.

Novelists do not seem to be very strong in their knowledge of the scrip lures somehow, and Sir Walter Scott in "The Heart of Midlothian" at tempts to point moral with the words: Our simple and unpretend- ing heroine had the merit of those peacemakers to whom it is promised as a benediction that they shall in herit the earth" The fact is that the peacemakers did not receive any such promise, but it is said that the meek shall inherit the earth
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
THE POPULARITY OF
 BONDS LIVER PILLS

has brought out a host of imitators who hope to get their products into use by giving cheaper prices to the retailer. Therefore some retailers will push one of these cheaper" sort when BONDS LIVER PILLS are asked for. Be on your guard; accept only Bonds Pills, the gentle, safe, effective and honest Liver Stimulant. They are no experiment. One pill at bed time is the dose for adults. You wake up well!-Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Puritans Fond of Lace.

In Puritan times, though the bob bins were carved with texts warning the workers against the pomps and CT TOTS of this wicked world, lace was still worn to a great extent, the family of Oliver Cromwell in particular hay ing decided penchant for the more costly varieties, and after his death his body was clothed in a garment more richly trimmed with lace and ermine than that of any king before him
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Important to Mothers

important to Mothers
 Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for Infants and children. and see that it Bears the " ><0 Signature of &xzzzeZw In Use For Over 30 Years. Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Miracle.

Miracles have not ceased
 What has happened to make you think they continue to occur?"
 q met man yesterday who as sured me that his wife had admitted that one of the reasons for the in creased cost of their living was her demand for more expensive clothes than she used to wear"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
INTERNATIONAL SUNDNSChOOL
 LESSON
tBy F. o. SELLERS. Director of Even- ing Department The Moody Bible In- stitute of Chicago.)
LESSON FOR AUGUST 10.
THE PASSOVE R.

LESSON TEXT-Ex. 12:21-3I
 GOLDEN TEXT-"The Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister. and to give His life ransom for many. Matt. POPS.
 There was two-fold preparation be- fore partaking of the passover sup per. The lamb had to be properly se lected and definitely kept period of four days, Ex. 12:3-6 Then those who ate had to make proper preparation first in the previous eating (12:15) and second in the dress they were to wear while partaking of the feast (y. ID. Everywhere throughout the subsequent references the Passover lamb is used as type of the Christ. We have chosen to add verses 31-36 and to make four-fold division of the lesson.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Easy to Tell What He Thouoht.

Little Jerome, aged five. heard his mother read from the beauty column of the paper that eating raw carrots would make one beautiful. A short to view his baby sister for the first time. His mother asked him what he thought of her. Taking good look at her, he answered in a disgusted tone, Let's give her a carrot. Chi cago Tribune.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Sounded Very AIarminQ.

Simmons had returned from his va cation.
 T certainly enjoyed the husking- bees" he said to a young woman. Were you ever in the country during the season of husking bees?"
 "Husking-bees-" exclaimed the girl; why. of course not! How do you husk a bee, anyway, Mir Simmons"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Loye's Labor Lost.

I'm sorry" said the manager, when the advance agent had entered the private office, but I'll have to dis charge you"
 Whats the matter? You surely don't think I've been loafng on my job, do you?"
 No. You've got the papers to print so many fine things about the star that she's demanding a raise in sal ary"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Robbed of Fame.

Some of the things of greatest i'm portance to humanity were done by people whose names have been lost to history"
 q know 1t. Who, for instance knows the name of the person who discovered aE egg shell would cause coffee grounds to settle?"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
A DOCTORS STATEMENT

J. K. Wells, M. D.. Weidners, Ark. writes: 'Ihave been practicing in Arkansas 2oyears and constantly prescribe Mendenhall's Chill Fever Tonic. where quinine is contra-in- dicated for children and adults with weak stomachs. It sticks where others fail z" No cure no pay.-Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Lucky.

Well. there's one thing that can't help being thankful for said Mrs. Binkley.
 My fat is so pliable that I car manage to shift it around enough to accommodate it to the new fashion whenever there Is a change"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Monuments.

A quarrelsome couple, having eSs hausted many subjects, came to dis cussing tombstones, and the husband asked:
 My dear, what kind of stone do you suppose they will give me when I die?"
 Birthstone" was the reply.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Thinks Well of New Studies

Mrs. Mary c. c. Bradford, superin- tendent of schools in Colorado, says that she is very much interested in the new studies of agriculture and domestic science
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
If puzzIed Hin,

Newedd-Did you spend so much money as this before I married you?
 Mrs. Newedd-Why, yes.
 Newedd-Then I can't understand why your father went on so when took you away from him.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Fixture.

But the team has to go away SC much
 That's right What we need in baseball is permanent stock com pany"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Love Isn't Fatal.

So your friend Jasper has been jilted?"
 Yes"
 How does he take it?"
 He says he feels as if he had been kicked by a mule."
 "Oh, I guess it isn't as bad as all that. People sometimes die from be- ing kicked by a mule."
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
The Joy of LIvinq.

A simple life of mint and pie The cost of living doth defy, And also to the system brings A sense of such ethereal things!
 Baltimore Sun. Tn searching for the little things From which the joy of living springs It might be well right here to make 4 stubborn plea for jelly cake
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Nnf AnN lIse ThAre

There are some things" said the man with the high brow, that money won't buy" q s'pose there are." re piled the other with the overlapping chin, ''but there's no use tryin' to use 'em to get an extension of your cred
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
No. SIX-SlXTY-SIx

This is prescription prepared es- pecially for Malaria or ChiIs and Fever. Five or six doses will break any case. and if taken then as a tonic the fever will not return. 25c-Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Sportina Blood.

Well l see that Fergus has be come infected with the sporting fever germ. He offers to bet that his wife is the champion Marathon talker of this town.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Aceommodatinq Girl.

"Why is it that you take Miss Gag gam to dinner so often?"
 "She can pronounce the French words on the bill of fare and is al. ways willing to do the ordering"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
RUB-MY-TlSM

Will cure your Rheumatism and all kinds of aches and pains-Neuralgia Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts, Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antiseptlo Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
New vs, More.

Why are you in such a hurry for the new currency?'
 The little supply that had of the old is almost exhausted "-Buffalc Express
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Declares Women Drink More

A. s. Shoemaker. attorney for the Anti-Saloon league, whose home is in Washington, says the women of the present day drink more intoxicating drinks each year.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
lrritatino Skin Troubles.

so prevalent in summer, such as hives, poison oak, chafing, sunburn, eczema, etc, are quickly relieved when Tyree's Antiseptic Powder is used.
 25c. at druggists or sample sent free by J. s. Tyree, Washington, D. C.-Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
city,s Splendid Liohtino System

Peoria, III, has an ornamental street lighting system consisting of eighty-six ornamental iron standards, each equipped with a f1fty-candle pow CT incandescent lamp
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
THE BEST HOT WEATHER TONIC,
 GROVES TASTELESS Chill TONIC
The Old Standard General Tonic. Drives Malaria.
 Enrches the Blood and Builds up the Whole System.
FOR ADULTS AND CHILDREN.

It combination QUINNE strengthens and fordhes withstand GROVES TASTELESS chill Weakness debility o Mothers Pale Children
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
RudeIy Frank.

Sapsmith--I wondah how it comes that Miss Swift is always out wheB I call.
 Grimshaw-Oh, guess it's just her luck.-Puck.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Badly Expressed.

Doctor, I'm sorry to bring you away out to the suburbs"
 Don't mention it. You see, have another patient out this way; conse- quently can kill two birds with one stone"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
"lnyisibleu Ieiephone

Both transmitter and receiver of new French loud-speaking telephone can be concealed in vase of flowers, a table ornament or any other incon- spicuous object in a room
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
EnviouS.

Mrs. Biffers says Mrs. Twobble is a clotheshorse."
 "Pshaw! Mrs. Biffers said that be- cause she can't trot with Mrs. Twob- ble"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Untold.

Dad, what do they mean by untold wealth."
 Means the man hasn't filed a tax statement, son."-Courier-J Journal.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Nothinu New.

Did that palmist tell you the truth about yourself?"
 "Yes, but my wife has been doing that for years"
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Plain Fare Will Remain.

The wife of the governor-elect of New York says that there will be corned beef and cabbage on the table of the executive mansion at Albany. just as there is at home.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Happens FrequentIy.

We don't know who puts the pune in punctuation, but we do know whole lot of punctuation is put into punk.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Sweet Thinu.

After l had sung Dearie' to him, night before last, Charlie Frizzleton proposed to me-"
 Yes, have known for long time that he was stone-deaf."
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Just Like Mother.

Mrs. Chatt-Did mother receive you with open arms, dear?
 MT Chatt-No; with open mouth.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Woman is the salvation of the de- struction of the family.-Henri Fred eric Amiel
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Mrs Winslows Soothing Syrup for Children teething, softens the gums, reduces inf1amma- tion,allays pain cures wind coHc, ,25c bottle.las
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Some dogs are born foolish, the same as some men.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

One should choose a wife with the ears rather than with the eyes, Proverb.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Red Cross Ball Blue will wash double as many clothes as any other blue. Don't put your money into any other. Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

You Can Stop a Carbuncle Boil After 1t begins to form by using DR POh- TIERS ANTISEPTIC HEALING OIL. 1se. Soc 31.oo
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Red Cross Ball Blue. all blue, best bluing value in the whole world, makes the laun- dress smile. Adv.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Framed notices alone do not make a happy home.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

A man never boasts of his will pow CT if his wife Is around
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Some people and all hens speak loudly of their own performances.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Blessed be the man who is in hurry; he never stops to tell his trou- bles.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Quite the Contrary.

Is Mrs. Oldboy despairing of her rich old husbands recovery"
 No; she is afraid of it.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
ARoUsEs THE LIVER AND PURIFIEs
 n(AIN

The Old Standard general Strengthening tonio GROVES pASTELESS chill TONIC aronses the
 liver to action drives Malaria out of the blood and builds up the system. A true tonic For adults and children, bQc.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

Many a man never feathers his own nest because it costs him so much to color his nose
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08

There's more or less grating done under the name of reform.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Paw Knows Everythinq.

Willie-Paw, why does a magnate have to cut coupons?
 Paw-To feed his stock, my son.
The Green Forest tribune., 1913-08-08
Rumor Was True.

q understand that the Jimson fam fly are leading a double life."
 Yes; they have twins"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-21
CHAPTER TX.

T ENNTE'S found girl friend
at the office the next day told
- Jennie that she had fixed" 1t
up for them to go out on a time
that evening with the two young
men. Also, that one Of the young
men had plenty of money. and she
had known him for a long time-that
they would go to the girls room after
work and get cleaned up and meet
the boys later
While they were dressing, Jennie
marveled how any girl getting seven
dollars a week could have such a nice
room and furniture-but the girl ex-
planned it was easy-if you knew
HOW.
While they were dressing the two
young men came in-without knock
ng-and seemed to be quite at home,
especially-as Jennie's friend eX-
planned later-the one that had
money.
He kissed Jennie's friend. They
had brought a bottle of cocktails, and
after having one all around Jennie
felt a little more at ease and wasn't
quite so shocked at her friend for
sitting on the young mans lap and
smoking a cigarette.
Jennie's friend had put on another
dress and hat after getting home that
made Jennie and her simple little
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-21
She ought to get some decent-loOking clothes.

by the mistakes of other foolish
girls who had wrecked their lives be-
cause they thought they knew more
than their friends, how different her
life would have been and the misery
that would have been avoided.
Jennie and her girl friend and the
young men arrived at the beach and
had a very hilarious dinner, at which
the young men and the young girl
friend drank more than they should.
Jennie wanted to drink as much as
they did, but it made her sick, and
besides she did not like the taste of it.
Jennie overheard the other girls fell
low tell her that Jennie was a bear,
only she ought to get some decent
looking clothes"
Jennie pretended she didn't hear,
but it made her more determined than
ever to have good clothes and look
as well or better than the other girls
she saw. That night, when the young
man finally brought her to the corner,
near her home, Jennie wasn't quite so
reluctant as she would have been
some days before when he argued for
"a good might kiss"
HAL COFFMAN.
ITO be Continued.)
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-21
Little Bobbie S Pa
BY WILLIAM F. KIRK.

fer, sed Pa. Mister Brown is one of
them nice, fussy men that always
hangs up all of his clothes in the rite
place & talks lot of genuine pleshur
in shopping half a day in a depart
ment stoar. You cuddent git me in
side big stoar to shop unless you
toWed me in with a siX-cilender auto,
sed Pa. Sum woman gifts her feet TO
tograffed and has the picter rec
touched so the corns won't show, Pa
sed, & Mr.. Brown spends half a
hour studying that picter wen he
ought to be out sumware hustling &
bringing hOam the bacon Thank
goodness, Pa sed, you are rite. l am
not Mister Brown.
Lady Richardson says that human
buty was made to see, sed Ma.
Very Beautiful.
I agree with her, sed Pa. Thare is
nothing moar butiful in this wurld
than a butiful woman's face, & I hate
to see a woman waring vail for that
reeson. And a woman's hands is bu-
tiful, too. sed Pa, if thay doant have
on too many fashy dimonds. But foi
the life of me. Pa sed, cant now C
newer cud see anything marvelusIy
butiful about a human foot. I doant
like the lines of it, Pa sed. What IS
thare dainty or alluring about a heel?
sed Pa. A heel is jest a heel, sum-
thing to stand on and not to be adj
mired. sum are big & sum are littel.
but none of them is butiful The heel
of a titled buty looks about the saim
as yure heel or my heel or even Tom
Sharkey's heel. No, wife, sed Pa. /
doant think thare is anything dainty
or fetching about a woman that is
oald enuff to know better going
around and dancing in her bare feet.
l am sorry you feel that way about
1t, deerest, sed Ma. Sum of US ladies'
has formed a Richardson Club, & next
Tuesday mite l was going to do 2
Lady Richardson dance at the pr!-
vate theeatricals. was going to sur
prise you.
If you try to pull off anything like
that, sed Pa, I will set rite in the
front row & throw tacks on the stage.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-21
CHAPTER <.

Jennie had not even taken the trou-
BILE TO tell her friend, the boarding
house keeper that she would be out
late that evening, and the poor wom-
an worried, and worried, and Won
dered at this sudden change in the
little girl-Jennie, who had always
told her all Of her little secrets and
petty sorrows.
But now Jennie had entirely
changed, from the happy, joking, care
free girl she once was, to a form of
sullen brazenness that was breaking
the old lady's heart.
She had tried reasoning with Jen-
ME, and when she found that did no
good had grown angry. All of which
was useless, for Jennie went ahead
and did just as she pleased. If she
could only have known and profited
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-06-21

mostly. When you do that regularly,
Mildred, you get a pretty good idea
Of the ways Of the world and the kind
Of talk the world uses"
81 think that's all the questions ]
have to ask and I'll excuse you from
your lessons. Gordon. Oh, yes: one
thing more; Are you as crazy about
baseball as you were when you start
ed for Atlanta?"
mo, sweetheart. I've lost a great
deal of interest in it. The truth of
the matter is something far more i'm
portant has come into my life. I'm
crazy about you, now, Honeybunch;
mot about baseball"