davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
JOKE ON NAT

From the Philadelphia Telegraph
Nat Goodwin says that he never
taught a Sunday school class but once
in his sweet and joyous life. and then
for moment he was dreadfully en-
barrassed.
Walking through a western town of
a Sunday afternoon, goes the story. Nat
chanced to stop at Sunday school.
and after being given the glad hand
and made welcome by the superintend-
|ent, he was asked by that man if he
would take the place of one OF the
regular teachers, a middle-aged woman
who was ill.
Nat was willing to oblige, and was
led to the class by the superintendent t,
but great was his CONSERVATION when
he saw that he was to teach a bevy of
beautiful maidens instead of a bunch of
small kids, as he had expected. Still.
Nat was game.
Now, then, young ladies'" said Nat,
becoming more composed as he took a
seat and picked up lesson book. Il
want to follow the procedure of your
regular teacher to the letter. What does
she do first?"
why, the first thing she does" de-
murely replied one OF the pretty ones,
lis to kiss each member of the class
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
THE GHOST THAT SANG

Maurice Barring in the February Metro
politan.
l have never seen a ghost, but once in
the company of friend I heard ghost
sing.
1t was in London. I must not mention
tho house. because to say a house is
haunted in London is criminal libel This
house was haunted. / knew it was
haunted. but the ghost had never troubled
me. 1t bothered a friend of mine who
spent an autumn in the house, by tramp
ing up the stairs in the middle of the
night. 1t troubled my secretary, who
used to work alone in the house in the
evening sometimes. by opening and shut
ting the doors. 1t troubled the police by
lighting up the house and giving a false
alarm of burglars In the middle of the
night. 1t never troubled me. I never saw
1t. l never felt 1t. I never heard it till
this once.
It was about 1 o'clock In the morning
was sitting in my sitting room with
a friend whom l call *" who is a well
known author. zone generally adds in a
ghost story, ''and who was a hard headed
man of business utterly skeptical and
completely matter of fact" as if that had
anything to do with it, We had just
come in and were expecting another
friend who lived in the house, and we
were sitting up for him We were talk
ing about Swinburne's verse and I took
down the first edition of "Atalanta in
Calydon," which 1 then possessed and
which 1 foolisf1v sold for a small sum
dt was Immediately afterward resold at
an auction for a large sum and went to
America and is now in some collectors
llbrary), and l read out a passage. As
was reading, we heard singing next
door / said, There's Phil,' and didn't
pay any further attention, as / expected
him TO come In. and l went on reading.
But the singing continued. 1t sounded
foreign--like Spanish. This didn't sur
rrise us, as Phil was in the habit of sing
ing Provencal songs. This singing went
on, and as he didn't come in, we went TO
meet him and opened the door. The next
room was a tiny ante-room opening into
another sitting room, and beyond this
again was the smallest of bedrooms-not
bigger than cupboard There was no.
body there, but the singing went on;
such curious singing, too; strange, alien,
faint, tinkly, as If four confused voices
we're singing the song of an earlier CEN
tury; it was unreal and 1t had a kind
of burr in it. as if you were listening to
voices on a telephone that is out of or
der. We walked through the rooms and
We wailsed through the singing, and we
heard 1t behind us still going on; and in
the bedroom we found our friend asleep
in his bed. Then the singing stopped.
Now as we walked through that sitting
room 1 noticed my friends hair, in Kip
ling's phrase. sitting up. I daresay he
noticed the same thing about mine, or
he would have done so had any hair to
notice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Senatorial Succession Race

Congressman Hobson outlines his
plan of campaign for the senatorship.
Senator Johnston is an old campaign
er also, and two we'll organized as
pirants will therefore be pitted
against each other. If Congressman
Henry d. Clayton should enter, the
fight will be interesting in the ex-
treme, as Clayton is foeman worthy
of anyone's steel.
1t is hoped that personalities and
unjust reflections will be kept out of
the canvass. Captain Hobson says he
will have none of it and it is reason
ably certain that Senator Johnston
will stand on his long record of public
service.
The statement of Captain Hobson
transforms the senatorial race into a
positive and strenuous fact, and it
will no doubt continue to be all that
right up to the day of election in No
vember, 1914.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Cali for Bible Conference

A call for the fifteenth annual Bible
conference to be held in Atlanta on March
I to 16 inclusive has been issued. The
Rev. John w. Ham, the conference sec
retary, says:
''The conference is interdenominational
In support and non-denominational in
teaching. 1t does not operate for gain.
1--WE have been fortunate this year in
being able TO secure the strongest plat
form that we have ever been able to Of
fer. Included in this list will be DR.. G..
Campbell Morgan of London, who will
arrive in Atlanta with me in time for the
opening and speaking twice daily
throughout the conference. Other speakers
who will be given from one to two hours
daily will be Dr. James NJ. Gray of Chi
cago; Rev. ]. l.. Vance, d. D., of Nash
vile; DR.. w r. Wedderspoon OF WASH
ington, d. c.; DR.. John r. Sampey of the
Louisville Baptist seminary DIR. f. Y.
Pierce of Chicago Secretary of the Inter-
national Sunday school committees; DIR.
". NJ Morrison of Africa. and DIR. Lacy
Moffett of China. Special railroad rates
have been granted
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
GAME BIRDS AND FISH
BY BILL VINES

and tobacco. worms and other insects IN
der long Frenchy names, and you might
as well look wise ana take your medi-
cine.
Mr.. Wallace is the author OF the pres
ent ALBANIA game law, which provides a
closed season on game wardens. It is un-
lawful to shoot a game warden in Ala
bama without great provocation unless
you do so entirely without witnesses.
There are also closed seasons on other
species, which If you are gentleman
you will observe. During the months
of December and January you are al
lowed to shoot turkey and come home
and brag about it. On other occasions
when you shoot turkey you can only dis
cuss the event with your most intimate
friends. Under the law in Alabama also,
i'll shooting a turkey you must be careful
about its sex. A gentleman turkey may
be shot during the open season with per-
feet impunity, and 12 gauged gun, pro-
vided you have permit to do SO from the
man who owns the land he is on. The
best way to do, II you have the gun and
run across a turkey, is to shoot 1t at
once, and get the permit afterward. Tur-
keys have a way of wandering over sew
eral farms during the course of a few
hours. Then by following this course
you will have the turkey even II you
fail to get the permit; while on the other
hand you would have nothing but q per-
nit No true sportsman cares to go home
after a hard days hunting with nothing
but a permit.
1t is still possible in Alabama to take
liver colored pointer dog with an abb
breviated tail and go out and find a covey
of quail in an afternoon-some after
Moons. And it is said that under the law
designed by Mr.. Wallace there are some
signs of increase in the game supply, but
somewhere somehow there is something
wrong with it-not the law, perhaps. but
the enforcement of it. This is also true of
the fish law. Three or four years ago. l
can remember that a catch of eight or
10 bass was possible in many streams in
Etowah county in an afternoon. Dyna-
mite and seining have made such thing
next to impossible now.
If Mr. wallace would hike Tip into our
section and put some folks in jail or stab
them with one or two of his well chosen
expressions, anything to put a crimp ii
their violations of the law, ne would con-
fer a great boon. I don't know, but
imagine, that other sections are in like
condition.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

LUTAsHINGTON, February 9.--fspe-
M elal)-John II. Wallace, game
TT and fish commissioner of the
state of Alabama, is in Washington DO
ing what he can In his feeble way to
help along the bill to protect the migra-
tory birds. Mr.. Wallace could perhaps
dc more but for the limitations upon his
vocabulary. Not that the limits of said
vocabulary are too close or restricted,
but on account of the fact that they are
so wide apart. When Mr.. Wallace getf
warmed up to his subject he runs the
English language through a grilling, drag
ging out words and holding them up te
the view that have been laying up ac.
Goes it with perfect nonchalence and acts
as though he knew exactly what he means
himself.
When it comes right down to insectiv-
OF Gus birds, and things, Mr.. Wallace
strikes r. He is an insectologer from
headquarters. and you've got to hand II
to him
Mr.. Wallace says unless there is inhi-
bition of the present slaughter of insec-
tivorous birds the result is bound to be-
come hilarious. He said that the birds
oe passage were the enemies of all kinds
of insects down to the smallest nereidiah-
He declared that down in Alabama where
the umslophogugus was constantly prey
ing on the holes in Swiss cheese, II the
birds were all killed out it would increase
the cost of living. If our feathered friends
are ruthlessly slaughtered, said Mr.. WAL
lace. what are we going to do about the
insectofugannus monnonemancules?
I observed that thought it was Sc
rious question, but perhaps 1 could under
stand it better if he'd whistle the last
part.
There are other distinguished scientists
here with Mr.. Wallace, a Mr.. Thompson
Seton and a Mr.. Burroughs, but when 1t
comes to giving a bug, itself so smail
that 10000 900 of them could hold recep-
ton on a pinhead, name that looks ike
the map of the Pennsylvania railroad
system, Mr.. Wallace can successfully hold
his own with whole college of scientists.
The ordinary observer would not ac-
cuse Mr.. Wallace of being buggy high
brow. He looks to be one of the plain
people. He declares, himself, that he be-
longs to the Hoy -Poloy," whatever that
H. But the very moment he begins TO
speak he gives himself away. Instant
" you know that you are in for a session
of being fed on boil weevils, tomato bugs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
RooseyeIt's Audacity Did 1t

The brazen use of patronage by
Colonel Roosevelt is the basis of the
public sentiment which is demanding
an one term amendment. He crushed
out all opposition to his nomination
for a second term, and then he
crushed any objection to his asserted
right to name his successor. He did,
it is true, fail to secure third term,
but at that time he had no patronage
he could manipulate. He made him.
self, SO far as he could, dictator,
and if he should secure third term
no one can name limit to what he
would attempt. He has small respect
for law or for courts, and he is even
ready to defy if need be public opin-
Jon.
The ex-President will have served
his country well if his acts bring into
existence constitutional amendment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Sanitation of the Isthmus

In Scribner's Magazine for Febru-
sry Joseph Bucklin Bishop, secretary
of the isthmian canal commission,
tells how the canal zone was rem
dered healthful and habitable.
Colonel Gorgas was not at the out
set believer in the mosquito theory,
but he was soon converted to it after
he had taken charge of the sanitation
of the isthmus. He fought back both
the yellow fever mosquito and the
malaria mosquito, and he fought them
so thoroughly and successfully that
there has not been case of yellow
fever of local origin since December
1905.
Screens were freely used in the
zone and mosquitoes were everywhere
destroyed, and the cases of malaria
have been greatly reduced, and to-
day, says Mr.. Bishop, the canal zone
IS "as healthful place of abode as
most civilized communities anywhere,
and far more so than many of them y
The canal zone covers 278,00O acres,
but the anti-mosquito work has been
confined to 1900 acres occupied by
the canal forces. The ridding of the
1900 acres of mosquitoes had down to
June 80, 1912, cost the government
S3,644O00, or about $4,000 an acre.
The total sanitary expenses will ag-
gregate about $20,000,000. The cost
is great, but the zone shows that the
diseases of the tropics can be con-
quered, and that almost any spot car
be rendered healthful. Colonel Cor
gas made not only the canal possible
but he enabled the engineers to build
1t in the shortest possible period Of
ts,~,o
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

voyage IN a hurry; and one always Is
starting in hurry. however long a time
beforehand one may have planned the
journey. The packing and the actual
getting away will be done in a rush.
When, in the last "A hours. one wants two
or three books about Napoleon, it IS not
50 easy TO get them. 1 think publisher
might make a fortune by publishing a
cheap Napoleon library-the 100 best books
about Napoleon-in a small, cheap. well
printed and portable shape.
OF course Napoleonic literature is
borndless. But it is curious fact that
there is no complete, good life of Ma
poleon Were ! a millionaire, were L
even publisher like Barabbas. l would
endow and commission someone, say Hi
laire Belloc, to write life of Napoleon.
Nobody is tired of reading of Napoleon.
Nobody can have enough of him. Among
tire men of action of the world he stands
out, the supreme leader of men, the most
glorious of captains. the most tragic of
kings. the wielder of the greatest sword
ever flashed in history.
He IS to history what Sigurd is to
romance, what Shakespeare is to litera-
ture. what Beethoven is to music; titanic.
tragic, universal, inspired, glorious
After all. military fame is greater than
any other kind of fame that man can
achieve. DR.. johnson said. Every man
thinks meanly of himself for not having
been a soldier, or not having been at
sea-"
Boswell said Lord Mansfield didn't. and
the sage replied that If Lord Mansfield
we're in a company of officers and ad-
mirals who had been in service, he would
shrink, he'd wish to creep under the
table. He said If Socrates and Charles
XII were present in any company, and
Socrates were to say, Follow me and
hear lecture" and Charles, laying his
hand on his sword, were to say, "Follow
me and dethrone the Gar" man would
be ashamed to follow Socrates. And this
explains why men and boys dhank GodD
still go to sea- And this explains why
in any list of books you ought to in
clude at least three books on Napoleon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Conditions inherently sound

'In New York if one happens to meet
pen interested in the stock market he
may hear pessimistic talk, but have sell
dom found general trade conditions better
than now said William J. Holbrook of
Philadelphia
"Tlaere is no doubt about conditions be-
ing inherently sound. l. meet manufac-
turers and merchants and they all report
good trade and talk optimistically. / visit
the south every two or three years, and
on this trip l have heard only prosperity
talk in the leading cities-Richmond, Nor
folk, Atlanta and Birmingham. l believe
1915 will be a remarkably prosperous
vear.h
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Bloody Day in Mexico City

Gen. Bernardo Reyes, one of the
national heroes of the republic OF
Mexico, who for many years aided in
making the history OF his country,
was shot to death yesterday while
leading the revolt against the govern
ment of the Maderos, revolt, Incl
dentally, which, from early reports,
seems destined to be successful.
In the history of the world there
have appeared few figures more ro-
mantle than that of the dead states
man and soldier. He began his career
at the age of Is, and, soon thereafter,
became one of the main lieutenants
of Porfirio Diaz, the iron man of the
Mexicans. During the time of his
service under the deposed president,
he was acclaimed the idol of the peo-
pie, and when Madero led his vic
torious cohorts against the old estab-
lished government, there seemed no
place for the mainstay of the fallen.
He was too proud to acknowledge
another idol than Diaz, and was too
brave to run away from undes. the
danger of the Maderistes. He at
tempted to defeat Madero in a popu-
lar election for the presidency and
failed. He then crossed the border
and took up residence on San Pedro
avenue, San Antonio.
1t was then that Reyes established
reputation as marplot, and man
of danger not only to the peace of
/ Mexico, but to the United States. He
was ordered to leave this country, and
did SO, but not in the manner this
country anticipated. He raised the
banner of revolution and crossed the
border. But no one heard his cry,
and soon he was made prisoner and
confined in federal barracks, from
which he was liberated yesterday, and
from which he walked to his death.
The situation in Mexico is thorn
in the side of the government of the
United States. 1t might have been
otherwise had President Madero dis
played the strength and moral courage
of Diaz, and ordered the execution of
rebel leaders as fast as they were
captured. But he procrastinated in
the case of Reyes and in the case of
Felix Diaz. AS a result the under
current of rebellion has never been
estopped, and the penalty will be, it
is indicated, another overthrow of the
Mexican government.
Unless a man is soon developed in
Mexico who will prove able to restore
peace and maintain peace, it may be
that the force of another nation will
be compelled, against it's will, to in
wade. And then the problem, as far
as this country is concerned, will be
only in the incipient state of its solu-
ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
Local Capital and Investment

Now that Birmingham has great deal
Oh accumulated wealth it should be easier
TO finance good business enterprises here
with local money than it was in past
years, but it continues to be easier to in
terest eastern capital in Birmingham than
home capital" said Leo X. Steiner. 1T
is true that recently several large Bir-
mingham enterprises have been financed
entirely by Birmingham capital. but these,
as far as my observation goes, have been
exceptions to the rule
THE Birmingham district is exceedingly
prosperous and here are many excellent
opportunities for new capital in the de-
velopment of our rich raw materials
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
wall street point of View

Henry Clews in his Saturday review,
after pointing out that the financial dis
trict's activity is still below expectations,
says:
General business continues active. The
abnormally mild winter checked distribu-
ton in some lines and aided it in others.
In the steel, cotton, wool and leather in
dustries conditions are generally satisfac-
tory. The tariff is no longer a matter of
serious disturbance, its effect having been
discounted, while the belief is general
that the bill will be chiefly on the lines
advocated by chairman Underwood a year
or so ago. One encouraging feature in
the news from washington is the i'm
proved prospect for banking legislation.
1.-THE immediate outlook of the market
is fairly encouraging. Any increase In ac-
tivity promises to be ON the side of higher
prices, provided no unfavorable develop
ments occur at washington or in Eu-
rope. The dissolution of the Hartman
properties is progressing quite as satisfac-
torily as great transaction of that ma
ture could be expected. Its injurious eff
feet upon the stock market has been prac-
tically discounted"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
pEFLDcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
There's hardly any way to be such n
nuisance as TO have strong convictions.
The reason man can swear so an
grily is he might get angry II lie didn't.
Steak and potatoes I'LL a mans soul
up just the way religion does wom-
ans.
wonderful thing in mathematics is
how girl about three feet long can
stretch out in stocking about three
yards long.
Father never has, mother always has,
the sense to see how good-Iooxing some
money makes one of their daughter $
suitors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
LOOKED BAD
From Tu-P;ts

T fUIII IIt-bItS-
A banker, having a bald head, was in
the habit of wearing his hat during busi-
ness hours. Every weel. a negro work
man on the railway presented check
for his wages. and one day as he put
his money in greasy wallet the banker
said to him.
Look here, Moses, why don't you lei
some of that money stay in the bank and
earn interest for your
-'Oh, no, boss replied the dar.Sey with
glance at the bankers hat. Use ies
afeared You look like you was alweys
ready to start someMheres.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

In Buffalo 1t is claimed that infantile
paralysis is caused by a germ which is
ultra microscopic, a discovery resulting
from experiments by Dr. Simon Blexner
and DIR. Hidego >Noguchi, of the RoclSe-
feller Institute of Medical Research, made
from cultures obtained during an epi-
demc The virus resulting from the germ
has been discovered, however, and from
this a cure can be worked out. These
experiments, said DR.. Fronczak, will
greatly assist the medical scientists in
battling with the malady. 1t was discov-
cred that the virus will go through the
nest ilters and even porcelain. BY the
identification of the virus a tremendous
advance in the ultimate arrest of the dis
ease has been made. 1t is now settled
fact that the stable fly Is responsible for
the spreading of the germs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
smoky cities and prosperlty

People who think that Pittsburg is no
longer a smoky city evidently have not
been there recently" said p. M.
Shannon, the well known natural gas de-
veloper, who has business interests in
Pittsburg and spends part of his time in
that city Notwithstanding the fact that
many of the large Plttsburg industries
have been moved some distance beyond
the city limits, and Notwithstanding the
improved methods of stoking, the great
iron and steel center is still a very smoky
town. The smoke often becomes SO dense
in the middle of the day that it necessi-
tates street cars lighting up the same as
at night. Chicago is another very smoky
city.
Here in Birmingham there is relative
~ nothing like so much smoke or SCOT as
there is in either of the two cities named.
Smoke and prosperity have always gone
together, and while much is being done
everywhere to minimize the so-ealled
smoke evil the more smoke that Birmins-
ham has the more prosperous it will be"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

From the Washington Star.
II always aim to have some Shakes
peare in my theatre during the winter.
said the manager Of the Punkintown
opera house.
'You think the public demands it?'
Nope. But il helps business in the
long run. 1t makes EN- appreciate
Uncle Toms Cabin and Ten Nights
in a Barroom'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
READING ABOUT NAPOLEON

Maurice Barring in the February Metro
politan.
Anyone who is starting ON a voyage
and who wishes for books as companions
ought to take as many books about Ma
poleon as he can. The only difficulty is
xc get them. when one is starting on a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
HELEN KELLER TALKS

whom she had known as child. Feeling
the bust long after his death, Miss Keller
exclaimed: This is like my friend, Phil
lips Brooks
Miss Keller picks out her own clothes
and has decided opinions upon matters OF
dress.
"clothes?" she said. in answer to a
question. "Of course I like them. I'm "a
girl. Did you ever see one who didn't
hike clothes?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10
IN A GOOD CAUSE

t TUHI I-IIV
Yes, your honor said Rastus in po-
lice court, Use guilty; / stole them
pants. But. your honor. there amt nc
sin when the motive am good. ! done
stole them pants TO get baptized in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

Hudson Maxim says the greatest aid to
longevity is optimism and sense of
humor. There are pessimists. however,
who outlive all the optimists and humor-
lists combined.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-10

The Hudson river is closed at last The
previous record for navigation goes back
to January 10. 1910. one year after the
first steam vessel had gone up the IIud-
son