The Marshall republican., 1913-07-18
CLIPPED FROM EXCHANGES


bauieS hOHte JoufHhI tiiuH
Root was cross-examining a young
woman In court one day. How old
are your he said. The young wom-
an hesitated. Don't hesitate" sad
Mr.. Root. THE longer you hesitate
the older you are"
MY dear said a certain thin man
to his wife the other day, this paper
says that there is a woman who goes
out and chops wood with her hus-
band every morning" well. what
OF st." his wife replied. II think she
could do II II he Is as thin as you.
I have often thought of using you TO
laid down his paper with n sight that
laid down his paper witha sigh that
sounded like the squeak OF a penny
whistle.
Record Herald: A Chicagoan who
employs a Swedish maid overheard
the following conversation the other
day between her cook and the maid
next door. also a Swede: How are
you. Hilda?" II well. I like my job.
We get cremated callar. cemetery
plumbing-elastic lights-and a
hoosit.'' whats a 'hoosit.' Hida?'
"oh. n bell rings. You put a thing
to your ear and say hello and some
one says hello an you say 'hoosit.'
L%ippincotts: Mrs. Flint came for
a visit to her sisters home. and her
little niece. Charlotte. was delighted
to see her. What became OF the
black kitten that you had when was
here befors. deargY asked Mrs. Flint.
why don't you know" asked Char
lotte. much surprised. II haven't
heard a word" replied the aunt.
WAS he poisoned?" mo. ma'am."
said Charlotte. "Drowned?" 20.
no." "stolen?" NO. indeed"
Hurt In any way?" mo. ma'am.
Well" said Mrs. Flint. 81 can't
guess. dear. What became of him?"
HE growed into n cat" said Char
lotte.
Elizabeth Billings In the Atlantic;
Do we really know u business. or
are we like the executive young
oma who was riding In from Cam
bridge? Opposite her In the a was
the embodiment OF the respectable
lower middlc-class British matron'
with n child OF 10. The day was cold
and raj for November. The child
wore a dress with low neck and short
sleeves. The executive woman was
troubled, and remarked on the fact
20 her neighbors. she ought to be
ashamed OF her self to dress that poor
little thing so foolishly: really
should like TO take that child away
from her, Il is scandalous." The
mother sat opposite patient, but Mt
last she remarked very clearly: i've
'ad ~. how many ave you adj"
Remember how our mother used
70 chase the flies? Mother would
flop her apron. father used a news
| paper in each hand, sister had me
towel and the dish cloth, and the
small boy Just whooped 'er up gener-
ally while we rushed the tbickest oil
the swarm out the kitchen door. All
that Is changed now. Here Is about
The way the new directions run:
When you find a fly In the house
take every p~recaution to prevent his
| escape; close doors and windows and
fill the keyhoies with putty; Their
arm the entire available force with
swatters. pursue him; smash bun
| fumlgate him; dlsinfect HIM. pur>
him; sticky fly paper him; poison
him. and when h is h9tally eliIpinat
lied, ersdicatsd. &nnihilaApd, rest from
your labors with the comforting thou
ght that you have prevented it from
becoming the mother Of countless
millions OF devasting pests that would
have been born next week or mex
month and that you have still NOR
directly avoided the rayage OF thos'
thousanM OF typhoid fever germ
which the miscopists have discovers
on one of his legs. oh, / tell you
scientific flyolog u, great! It's
mystery howosr SrhpAmothers grew
.tl.y luhA.nt