The Washington herald., 1913-10-28
BASHFUL COUPLE.
ny DON La GRANGE.

BY DON La GRANGE.
'1t is too badl'
Over and oyerN again. times without
number. the wives of farmers Cantbury
and Johnson had closed a conversation
with a sigh and the above expression
1T is too dinged badi'
And times without number the respect
i've husbands OF these good wives had
done the very same thing.
The Cantburys and the Johnsons had
been friends and neighbors for forty
years. and there had never been dis
agreement.
The Cantburys had son named Abel
He had been named after the young man
who was killed by his brother Cain.
Father and mother hadn't stopped to
inquire into the details OF the row, and
for all they knew Abel deserved the
killing he got, but they nailed the name
to that helpless boy baby.
The Johnsons had a daughter named
Rebecca. She had been named after a
picture entitled "Rebecca at the Well"
Why Rebecca was at the well instead
of in the kitchen made no difference to
the manners. The young woman looked
good TO them. and as the baby hap
pened TO be born In complaining time
when everybody was on the hustle, no
time was lost in making a second Re-
becca OF her.
1t cannot be said that the results in
both cases were what might have been
expected. Both boy and girl grew up
so retiring and bashful that their days
were positively painful They hardly
dared to enter into conversation with
their own parents. II one outside the
family came to the house the children
would and a hiding place upstairs under
a bed. There was no sending them TO
school, and they would run like rabbits
at the sight Of each other.
I'm lick it out of Abel or take all his
hide offr vowed Farmer Cantbury; and
he licked and licked and licked. but the
more he licked the worse the boy got.
"what'l cure Rebecca is a good
spanking every time she plays the
foolr' said Mrs. Johnson.
When a doctor was consulted in both
cases he replied: Il don't see that
anything can be done. There are for
ward children and there must be back
ward children to Offset them and bal
ance things. You'll have to make the
best of the matter"
The pastor of the church at the
crossroads was consulted. mo, can't
say that IL is on account of giving
them Biblical names. They just hap
pen " Oc way ASu
ease OF a little on the lickings and
spankings and hope for something to
happen"
An old man who tramped the country
with a peddler's pack and doctored
sick COWS was asked for his advice, and
he gave IL: "Doggone IL. IL there Is a
bashful boy or girl in America why
can't you let 'em stay bashfulr'
He was told how wretched the situa-
ton was for both parents and chill
dren. AMI he thought for a while and
then replied:
My great hold is doctoring sick
cows. but mebbe can prescribe a cure
in this case. Tie 'em up so they can't
get away and then invite about a dog
en- people in to talk to EN-"
|, The prescription looked good and
was tried. Abel very promptly had q
fit and did not recover from 1t for two
hours. Rebecca very promptly tainted
and lay as one dead for half a day.
The most sensible advice given and
the one followed was rendered by an
agent who came along selling a patent
potato digger. As he drove up to Can't
bury's. Abel made a break for the
woods. half a mile away. and as he
arrived at Johnson's Rebecca made for
the garret.
Seem to be afraid I've got the small
pox."
Thereupon the agent was put in pos
session of particulars. and he an
swered: You let 'em be. It's some
thing they can't help. and they've got
to wait till the cure comes along"
Bound to be, but I amt giving to
medical advice. I'm selling the Knee
Plus Pluribus Potato Digger. which
any child can use. and which Is war
ranted TO do the work OF four husky
men and not half try. Sold again, and
who takes the next?"
Years passed and Abel Cantbury
reached his majority. and Rebecca had
her nineteenth birthday.
Only a bit of the bashfulness had
worn Off. Neither party had spoken to
the other. Abel had become a farmer,
and his father had become too old for
hard work
'If Abel and Rebecca would only fall
in love and marryr' was repeated so
often that It became a wall. but it
seemed like waiting for the moon to
to Abel: MY son, you should have
wife"
1t was at the dinner table, and the
young man was so confused that he
choked on a piece of corned beef.
why not marry Rehecca?'
1t was winter and very cold. and the
young mans ears were frostbitten as he
sat on the fence.
And the mother of Rebecca said to her:
"Rebecca, your father and / are very
anxious about your future"
The girl looked up in a startled way.
I'VE want to see you married and
settled down.
'M-motheri''