The Washington herald., 1913-04-15
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.

Senator Key Pittman of Nevada Is q
red-corpuscled person. and in his
younger days used to fight on any rea-
sonable pretext. When he was prac-
ticing law up in the State of Washing
ton he had some trouble with a man
named Smith One day he walked along
the street and met Smith conversing
with a Chinese laundryman. When he
came up to Smith Pittman placed his
hand on his right hip pocket and re-
marked:
'Ah. ha-a! Now I've got you, You're
just the fellow I'm looking for
But Smith was a cool one himself.
''Oh, go away. you blamed. low-lived
son-of -a-gun,' he said to Pittman.
Cant You see I'm talking to a gentle
man."
And it was the most tactful thing he
could have said, for the speech struck
Pittman's sense of humor. and he went
around town telling the joke on himself
to everybody he met.
Phil Campbell. who looks like the pic
lures of William Pitt in the school his
tories, and who is easily the jauntiest of
the standpat Congressman, was a men,
Der of Congressional quintet which
recently visited Porto Rico. The mem
bers IL the little party were taken to
two banquets each day throughout their
stay on the island. And at every one
of these banquets Phil Campbell drew
the choicest cuts of meat, the finest of
the fruits, the most generous helpings
to dessert, and the most urgent re-
quests to pass his plate up for more.
Now, Campbell is man of more or
less captivating manner, but that was
not the reason for all the fuss made
over him at the twice-a-day banquets.
The reason was simply this: The tariff.
Every time there was a banquet one
or more Porto Ricans spoke of the lus-
cious fruits and pineapples and other
rare products Of their island, and prayed
that the tariff on those articles be left
severely alone. This was an embarras-
sing line of talk for all the visitors ex-
cept Campbell The others. Representa-
tives Taylor of Colorado, White of
Ohio, Borland of Missouri. and Stephens
of Texas, are Democrats, and pledged,
you know, to a wise revision of the
tariff. All they could do when the talk
turned toward letting the tariff alone
was to stick their tongues into their
cheeks. swallow foolishly, and get a
faraway, cross-country look in their
eyes.
But not so with Phil Campbell. the one
Republican among them. Invariably he
blotted his lips gently with his napkin,
arose with calm dignity, and said that
he thought the gentleman who had just
spoken was exactly right in desiring
that the tariff be let alone And he
pledged himself then and there to vote
against any Ubiquitous measures concoct-
ed by his Democratic colleagues. The
Porto Ricans cheered. and Campbell was
a hero in their sight.
But Campbell had to pay for his mean
ness. All the time he was eating his
second helpings to the dainties that the
Porto Ricans forced upon him he was
putting on weight. When he got back
to Washington he had outgrown two
lovely new suits of clothes.
Secretary, of Commerce Redfeld made
the rounds of every room in his building.
shortly after he entered office, for the
purpose Of getting acquainted. He in
troduced himself to everybody. including
the engineer and the carpenter down In
the basement, and the informality of the
call maze MT but what maze moresl
of hit was the .Secretary's trained eye
for noticing things to make employees
more comfortable-and more efficient,
Redfield looked about just as he would
In one Of his own manufacturing plants.
One Of the first things he noticed was
that one room was poorly ventilated. He
gave orders. to have the room
ventilated by artificial means. In the car
-
that the steam pipes leading to other
parts Of the building were depended on to
heat the room.
IF those pipes give enough heat in cold
weather, what happens in mild weather.
asked Redfield.
well. it's too hot" replied the car
penter.
Just as thought" said Redfeid. |
You can't regulate the heat and on J
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