The Marshall republican., 1913-01-10
Press Clippings

In the glass it doesn't hook iarge
enough to hold my tongue. Hus-
band (testi:y,. 1t isn't.
"Johnny, do you believe in santa
Claus?n "Sure; he's been to our
house already and hid a doll in
mas desk and a rocking horse in
the coal bin"
INQUIRER: wife of City Gentle
man twho has gone back to the
iand,. oh, doctor, you are just the
man I want to see. l want you to
tell me how to cure a side OF
bacon.
Puck: vrage Grocer. What
are you running for. sonny' Boy
I'm try'n' to keep two fefers from
fightin'. v llage Groce-. Who are
the fellows? Boy. Bill Perkins
and me!
Baltimore American. "PGp, what's
the mile nniump" "It's time
com 'ng, my son, when there will
be Jobs enough in every admins
tration to go around among those
who want EN-
A teacher N the Horton high
school the Headlight Gays asked a
boy what three words are used the
most frequently in the school. VI
don't know, replied the boy. Cor
rectln sa d the teacher.
spr' ngfield Republican: A note !
woman writer tells us to give
'sses for Christmas II you cant t
offer anything else" II kisses
VIII satisfy, We want our lady
fr ends to CONS AMI collect THEFT
Chr stmas presents early-also o.
ten.
Apparently the city paers are
making a good deal OF unne es-
slry fuss about the prospective
smarriage OF Miss Helen Gould to
a st. Louis railroad man. This
wedding miy or may not b. the
outcome OF leap year privileges,
but anyway, both the interested
p.rt'es have arrived at not p s
ei-the age OF accountability, ana
as both bc.ong 10 the 3imp rll
road system the union shouldn't
seriously affect freight or passen
ger rates.-Kng City Dem crat.
1.-TWO OF us IN the Kansan office
had legs amputated" writes Conner
DAVIS, OF Concordia. Each av rs
he can .eei every sensation OF p In.
cramps IN the toes, tickling In the
bottom OF the foot, and every other
sense OF feeling In the amputated
foot Just as though II had never
been cut off. A local doctor ar
gues with us that II Is impossible
the foot being gone II cannot
create any stimuli for such sensa-
tons, and that II all Is imagin alton
on our part What do you think
about II? Which one ought to
know, the fellow with the leg off
yet doesn't know anything about
anatomy or physiology, or the
doctor learned In medical science
and has a sheepsk'n diploma to
prove it.n
Mack's National Monthly. A
woman In one Of the wards In the
Rhode Island Hospital was inform
ed she had appendicitis and would
have to be operated on at onre
Much frightened, she reluctantly
consented and was conveyed to
the operating room. One OF the
doctors had commenced to admin
lster the ether ami her eyes were
closing languialy, when he discov-
cred he had forgotten to enquire
II she had false teeth. He quickly
removed the rubber cap, and shak
ing her slightly, he said: "Have
you anything loose In your mouth?
Then, as he made a move to put
his hand In her mouth, she opened
her eyes wildly and exclaimed |;
"Nothing but my tongue, doctor,
and for God sake don't cut that
out, tool"
Cleveland Press: The audience
which heard Rev. w. w. Bustard.
John ID. Rockefeller's Cleveland
pastor, address the Christian En-
ieavor Convent on was amused by
stcry ON tho richest m,n. "WhTe
r. ling in an auto with Mr.. Rookie
fe.ler recently, some miles from
Cevelani," said Rev. DIR. Bustard,
I'VE were about to pass alt"e bare
'oot girl, ploiding along through