The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1913-02-18
A Punster
Punished
BY F A Mitchell

There are misfortunes and misfor'
tunes. II is misfortune TO be dump
ed into an ocean from a steamer eav-
ing you at the rate of twenty knots an
hour. but you are very soon either
saved or your troubles are ended. !
suffer under misfortune that began
with my birth. was added to at my
baptism and has been endured ever
Darling If be had named me John
for himself onehalf my life's suffer
ings would have been avoided, but my
mothers family name was Rosedale.
and was given that surname. pre-
sumo / should remember my parents
with reverence and affection. As for
the latter, so do. but how can one
revere pair Of intelects which even
combined were too stupid not to fore
see that |. as boy and man. would be
Rose Darling?
The trouble began when first went
to school, the boys suggesting that
be classed with the girls. When grew
older and Joined musical club ! was
asked IL ! sang soprano or contralto.
] was called Rosie Dear. Darling Rose
Indeed, every play upon my name that
could be invented.
Foreseeing that manly part in life
was needed to help me to throw OFF
this suggestion of effeminacy, deter
mined to become soldier. applied
to the congressman of my district He
told me that he had given out his
appointments. but saw from the
amused expression on his face that he
would not think of recommending
boy with such name. ! walked away
to the nearest recruiting station and
enlisted.
| knew what I had to expect from
my comrades. and was not disap- |
pointed. was soon given the soubri- |
quet or Sweetheart and. except off, !
cially. was never called anything else. !
bore II stoically. When addressed as |
Sweetheart or Rosie Dear" | did not I
complain. taking it as matter of
course-that is, pretending to do so,
though every time was thus address
ed ii was like stab.
resolved to be the best soldier In
my company, and | was. Notwith
standing my incubus | was promoted
to be corporal. then sergeant and final
ly orderly sergeant When | reached
the highest noncommissioned office In
my company secured an advantage.
nnn I'd trbA dl1tr tn
the men to address me by my right
name. ! perInitted them to call me
what they liked unofficiaily. but the
moment one of them did so upon any
official occasion | brought him up with
n round turn. This gradually killed
the habit.
My service in the ranks was during
the last Indian troubles and in fight
that occurred In attempting to drive a :
tribe of redskins back on to their res
srvation |, preferring to die rather than
1ot gain something by which to bull &
lnce the disadvantage OF the name I'M I
Ter which lived. fought regardless Of c
LANCER. The result was that when /
We got back to the fort the colonel {
sent for me. compliment /
ID me and told me that he had recon |
nended me for a commission. He r
new me as Sergeant Darling. Darling a
" itself is not very bad name and I
loped that when | came TO associate /,
With the commissioned officers | should h
,ain a respite. would be Mr.. Oar. n
ing. and when | came to the next n
rade above would be Captain Oar ri
ng. Then would get rid of the Rosie b
Dear" and all that n
But was doomed to disa ppointment