The weekly times-record., 1913-12-18
FATE AND A
COW
BY M. QUAD
BY M. QUAD
Copyright, 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press

| tain Qute. tie was CuI Auu SlOOp
shouldered and ungainly. He was ret
! icent and undemollStrntive. and sOcie-
! ty knew him not at all. Miss Deborah
I Day Of the same town had reached the
age of forty-five. She was plain Of
face and frigid Of attitude. aud her
charms We're missing
1t was one Sunday in church that
fate brought the old bach and the old
maid together in the same pew. and
they sang from the same hymn book.
Fate, through a mutual acquaintance,
introduced them after the sermon. A
few evenings later the professor call
ed. The talk was Of philosophy. He
called again. and they talked Of theoso.
ply. He made third call, and the age
of the world was under discussion for
an hour. After that it was for the
COW to do her part.
One evening. just at sundown. Miss
Day walked forth in meadow to
gather a few daisies. At the same
hour it singularly happened that Pro-
fessor Slocum sought the same mead
ow in search of geological specimens.
The lady discovered her daisies. the
professor discovered his pebbles. the
two people discovered each other. and
together they discovered COW. A
COW may be simply an animated object
on the landscape or she may be dis
covery because she is enraged over
the loss of horn knocked of in some
way and because she has her head
down and her tail up and is charging
the pebbles and daisy gatherers.
Then the fifth discovery showed up.
1t was COW shed twenty rods away.
rough affair that had seen bet
ter days. The meadow was retired.
and the shed was more so. They
reached it just in time for the pro-
fessor to find board and bar the en-
trance against the COW and later on to
further strengthen it. There was no
doubt about the bovine being in ear
nest. She made frantic efforts to tear
down the shed with her remaining
horn, and when she could not effect
an entrance she stood on guard to keep
her victims from coming out. Dark
ness suddenly fell. and then the per-
turbed couple suddenly realized their
situation.
Professor Slocum. must leave here
this Instant exclaimed the hOrrifed
Miss Day.
"And so must IT, was the reply.
1T is not proper!'
Certainly mott"
II shall be laughingstock!"
''And l the same!"
II can't go. but you must" said Miss
Day as the COW quieted down. PRO.
fessor. you must see that you must go
you must see It"
II do see it," be replied, "and, while
l cannot depart from the shed. ! can
climb on the top Of it."
This he accomplished by making his
way through a gap in the roof. He
was now in a position of propriety.
but there was the COW again. When
she saw him perched up there, so near
and yet so far. she tried to climb up
after him, and at the end of two min
utes Miss Day was shrieking for pro-
lection. Down scrambled the pro.
fessor, and the COW took to running
around the shed to find where be
had disappeared. The interior Of the
shed had now become so dark that
nothing could be seen. In trying to
strengthen the door some more the pro-
fessor fell down and rolled over. In
trying to go to his assistance Miss Day
suddenly found herself sprawling.
Can a person maintain frigidness
when surrounded by COW shed, with a
mad COW battering away at the door?
Can person be stilted after rolling In
the straw and dirt? Can he or she be
severely ceremonious when 1t Is I'M
possible to see each other? The pro-
fessor wisely decided that they could
not. and he reached out and clasped
Miss Days hand. She returned the
clasp. Then he put his arm around her
in protecting way, and she did not
shrink. Then the old COW made up
her mind to melt the frost and bring
out the turtledoves If she had to
break her neck to do it. She gave a
below of warning and retreated eight
or ten rods and then came for the side
of the shed like a runaway locomotive.
She hit it fair and square. and two
thirds Of it caved in like house OF
sand. In the caving she was mixed up
with beams and boards. and the pro-
fessor took advantage of the occasion
to tear the door aside and then pull
his companion out into the open. Then
they ran for the nearest fence. II
wasn't dignif)ed to fall down three OF
four times, but they fell. 1t wasn't
eminently proper, when the fence was
reached and the COW was hard on theil
trail, for the professor to throw Miss
Day over and then take a scramble
himself. but that's the way 1t was
worked. Then as soon as the man II
the case could get his breath be re
allied the inevitable. They were bott
tattered and frizzled. They had togeth
er passed through peril BY food ant
fire land cow, and romance had come
to their hearts at last.