The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1913-06-26
THAT APRIL
FOOL HAT
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press
BY M. QUAD

AS baby Philip Gordon Masters
was digniied. AS his days heightened
out he grew more so. At the age of
three he had never had smile on his
face. At the age of five he had all
the dignity of a man. Mr.. Masters had
been born rich. If ii had been the
other way-if he had had to elbow with
the world-he might have been diff
ferent man.
This dignified man was thirty years
old and was growing more dignified
every second that passed, when he un-
dertook short railway journey. He
had his own private car and the doors
were locked and the curtains drawn.
There came an accident by which the
train was obliged to halt at the village
Of Whitewater for several hours. Mr..
Masters got tired of inaction and start
I'd for a walk uptown. 1t was the first
day of April. but he had forgotten the
date. In fact, as he was bigger than
the almanac there was no reason why
he should remember any particular
date.
You may have seen an April fool hat
posed on the sidewalk. There Is big
stone under it, and 1t is trap for the
unwary.
Mr.. Masters had never run across an
April fool hat. He had never kicked a
man or a dog or football. He had al
ways kept his feet under him. Would
you have thought that old village hat
would have appealed to him? Would
you have thought that after thirty
years of dignity he would have even
given it a second glance? Human ma
ture is queer. 1t breaks away when
and where you least expect 1t broke
in this case Mr.. Masters advanced on
that April fool hat with almost q smile
on his face, and when he had approach
ed within a certain distance he drew
in his breath swung his right leg and
sent it flying ten feet in the air. Only
he didn't! He didn't send it two inch
swear words would have been heard
mile away.
There were boys ready to cry ha, ha,
ha! and there were men ready to laugh
no, no, ho! and Mr.. Masters limped
back to his car, boiling for revenge.
Whitewater was a solid, thriving lit
tie town. They had no booms there
Its people were conservative and no
one had ever invested a dollar in Wall
street. OF a sudden a stranger appear
ed and called on a Mr.. Brown in a
business way. Mr.. Brown owned ten
acres Of land on the western side Of
the village. Its value was $25 an acre.
but no one had offered any price Sor
1t. Mr.. Browns astonishment IAN
therefore be imagined when the ST an
ger asked for an option On that lhnd
at 500 per acre. He got It He eau
toned Mr.. Brown to keep quiet. Then
he went TO a Mr.. Gill. Mr. Gill owned
two acres of land and an abandoned
sawmill The value was not over 500,
but the stranger got an option st a
: thousand. Mr.. Gill was cautioned to
keep quiet.
Then the stranger got an optiosA on
the ten acres on the hill and OH two
, stores, the tannery, the sash faktory
: and eight or ten other places. In zach
instance he offered a price and that
price was at least three times what the
property was worth.
) What did 1t all meanP What was
going to happen? 1t was no rise to
talk to the stranger No information
could be got from him except that he
wanted more options. Some said 1t was
coal; some said petroleum: some iron
l or copper or lead. 1t was even report
ed and believed that there was a dia-
mond mine under the village.
There followed just what might have
been expected and just what the
stranger did expect. By the time he
' had secured options to the number OF
twenty Whitewater was seized with q
fever. The price of real estate began
jumping. A house and lot worth 81 00C
one day were held at $4,000 or more the
next. There was a gravel ridge run
ming along the main street The idea
was that diamonds were to be found In
: this gravel. There was creek Just
. south Of the town. 1t was contended
( that the hidden petroleum would be
found there. Under the land on the
hill was supposed to be a great reser.
, voir Of natural gas.
, For two weeks there was no business
but buying and selling. The congrega
tions at the churches of Sunday hard
ly numbered score. There was hard
ly piece of property in and around
S the town that didn't change hands al
: least three times. In quiet way the
A stranger sold most of his options al
= double figures. One morning White
water woke up to ask what 1t was all
about. The stranger had disappeared
OF sudden no one wanted to buy
Before noon there was a rush to sell
Inside of twenty-four hours the $1,00C
properties were being offered for $3.50
1t is always so in the reaction. When
the town settled down a bit 1t found
that 1t had been set back twenty years
and would have to pare its potatoes
very close to keep out of bankruptcy.
Al