Omaha daily bee., 1913-12-29

for ourselves and NyNY IL
those nearest TO us.
The best illustration OF this unac- !
countable human weakness is to be found !
in the relatlons-in-law problem, where
people who should dwell together in
Teace and amlty seem to take a fiendish
delight in quarreling and pickering. al
though by 80 doing they ruin their own
happiness and make life a hell On earth
for all about them.
II is literally true that not drink nor
gambling. nor immortality nor any vice
whatsoever. brings a thousandth part OF
the misery to humanity as does the in
ability OF relations-in-law 10 be friendly,
or even treat each other with decent
roli,eness, for pitlful and petty as
family quarrel seems somewhere In II
there is always broken heart.
In the course OF year l get thousands
Of letters from women on this subject
Sometimes Il Is a daughter-in-law who
is vIctlmised by a selfish and tyrannical
end quarrelsome mother-in-law who feels
that she has perfect right to run her
sons home and who jealously resents her
sons affection for his wife and the
money he spends on her.
More often the letter IL the pitiful wall
of some poor old mother who In made to
feel that her daughter-ln-lsw begrudges
her the very bread she eats. or daugh-
ter-ln-law who sets herself deliberately
90 wean her husband from the mother
who bore him. Today | have another
such letter as this. II Is written by "A
lovely. cultured gentle lady, fun OF tact
and kindllness, who asks for help in solv-
Ing a problem TO which no wisdom has
yet found the key.
This woman has a son TO whom she IL
devoted and a grandchild that she adores.
She would gladly love her daughter-in-
law. too, but the daughter-in-law ro.
pulses her at every turn. She Is not even
eiviliy polite 20 the mother-ln-law but
criticizes her and sneers at her and
maintains toward her an attitude Ehat is
covert insult in itself
The man loves his wife, but he loves
his mother also. and he In made so mis-
erabie by his wife's conduct toward his
mother that II has seriously affected his
health. Tho mother fears that he will
die in the atmosphere OF such an un-
happy home. and she asks what think
she had best do.
My advice to her is TO pack her trunks
and leave her sons house Immediately.
Fortunately. this woman has plenty OF
money. but even II a woman had 10 80
20 the poorhouse from her sons house I
shouid stiil urge her TO go rather than
stay In home where she was bone of
strife and the source OF dlscord.
This may seem a hard saying. But
when does motherhood ever finch from
the cross when, by sacrifice, it can
secure the good OF those Il has borne in
travail OF body and must so often cherish
in travail Of splrit2
And Il is the wonder OF love that
which we give we keep. The woman
who stays in her sons home. making
perpetual friction there for him. may lose
eome Of his reverence and affection. but
the mother VINO sublimely renounces all
for his happiness remains forever
revered saint 10 his vision II may seem
hard 20 her to go away from one she
loves 40 dearly. but In another house
she will be nearer TO him than she would
be under the Same roof with him. with
spiteful daughter-ln-law always inter
posing her watchfui suspicious between
chem.
unhappily there IL no panacea for
changing selfish, narrow. jealous
da1ghter-in-law into a broad and noble
woman who Is capable OF anpreclatlng
the fact that next TO her own mother
her husbands mother Is the woman whom,
Il IL her duty most 10 love and cherish.
You cannot make silk purse out OF a
sow's ear. nor can you convert a stine,.
venomous little woman into a big and
generous one.
SO the only thing the mothcr-in-iaw can
90 under such sad circumstances Is Ia
eliminate herself That saves her son. a,
least, from perpetual nagging from hls
wife, and the sorrow OF seeing his mothe,
suffer humiliations and insults from
which he Il powerless to protect her
Sometimes when the friction OF daily M,
together "a removed il is possible TO es
tabliah a truce with the dsughter-ln-lav-
so that Il makes Il possible for the so,
20 visit his mother in peace and Withou
precipitating family row. But Away,
u Is best for the vwo women not I,
dwell under the same roof. ana Wis
are those Who never make the foolhard,
experiment
There are tho strange things in mi
anfagonistic attitude that 20 man
Women take toward their husband,
mothera The frat Is the incompFehen
si6ility Of any woman having 80 IAu