Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1913-09-05
Commandments for
the Summer Visitor
By DOROTHY DIX.

luNllb uOJ thgoCll W lhC hOuoo VI
another, oh, my daughter, for it so be
thy friend hungereth and thirsteth for
thy society she will arise and send to
thee a writing bidding thee to come
straightway to her abode, Yea, she
will send for thee swifter by means of
the telegraph and the night letter, and
if so be she holdeth her hand, take
that for a sign which never faileth that
she wanteth thee not
2-Accept not an invitation from a
man to tarry and stay at his house
until it hath been o. K.'s by his wife,
for verify / say unto thee that no
man hath authority within his own
home, mo, not so much as to give
bone to stray dog. 1t is the wife
and the wife's people, and the wife's
friends who have dominion over the
spare bedroom.
3-When thou visiteth cast not the
goo-goo eyes at thy hostess s son,
nor upon her male relatives, nor upon
her husband, for it is written that she
that snareth the fancy of the men of
the household shalt be invited there no
more.
Forget not to take in thy trunk
thy curling iron, and thy sewing tools,
and try postage stamps, and thy script
for letters, and all the things of which
thou hast daily need, for borrower is
an abomination and worse than the
pestilence that destroyeth by night.
5-Incline thy heart unto the amuse
ments that hath been prepared for
thee, and make thy countenance mirth-
full, though thy soul fainteth within
thee when thy hostess sayeth, "Reioice
and be glad, for today we go forth to
picnic in the woods, and to partake of
squashed lemon pic favored with
ants. " Likewise, dissemble thy sor-
row when she trotteth thee to the
church sociable, or naileth thee to the
card table until thy stomach turneth
in despair and thy gorge riseth in re-
bellion.
6-When thou visiteth cast veracity
to the winds, for verify truth hath no
place in popular house guest. Say
of thy hostess s house, "Truly, this is
a palace, fit for king, Tell me, I
pray thee, what marvellous architect
planned it9" Beat upon thy breast
and call heaven to witness that there
was never such view, though it be
but as the view of a fly that is caught
under a teacup. Praise the beauty and
the wit and the way the offspring of
thy hostess reciteth, and when thou de.
parteth thy hostess shall say of thee,
Surely, here is a woman of discern.
ment, and | will bid her return again. !"
Conform thy ways to the ways Of
the house that thy visiteth. Arise
while it is yet night, if it be the Gus
tom Of thy hosts, so that thu shalt
breakfast with them, and give no
trouble to the servants, for, behold, a
hand maiden in the suburbs is as pre-.
cious as gold, yea, as fine gold, and as
difficult to keep.
S--If thou followeth diet and eat.
eth Of strange foods prepared after an
ungodly manner, visit not at all, but
HE thee to an inn where thou eanst
pay for the trouble thu giveth. Thus
shalt thou save thyself from being
hated by thy friends.
9-Forget not to tip the hand maid.
en- who waiteth upon thee, for the but.
ton.her-up-in.the.back is worthy of her
hire.
lO-And if thou forgettest all of the
other commandments Of the summer Wis.
itor, remember this, on, my daughter:
Make thy visit short Tarry not long
in thy friend 3 house lest she be weary
Of thee. Go while yet she entreateth
thee to stay with her, for it is better
that thy hostess should weep because
thou goeth than to shed tears because
thou stayest.
Selah.