Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1913-06-07

How Jones Of Nebraska Wore
Out the Lord Chancellor
Of England.
BY PERCY kEBLE.

had been Lady Elizabeth whispered
back:
Wouldn't you like to be in con-
tempt again. Lionelr
Mr.. Jones duly compiled. And lest
the susceptibilities be shocked. let It
be said that they had been married
ten minutes before in the Office Of the
registrar, Strand, London, England.
ooh, dearl" sighed Mrs. Jones, III
only Reggie could guess how happy
we are, I'm sure he would relent and
let you marry me-"
But / have married you. darling"
said Mr.. Jones.
yes, but Reggie can clap you into
prison for 1t until I'm twenty-one, and
that won't be for fully two years. Or
else until the government goes out
of Office. And Reggie says they're
so popular over this new law for the
free feeding of tramps that they're
/ sure to remain In office that long"
Reggie" was none other than the
earl of Masterton, lord chancellor Of
England. Lord Masterton. upon the
! woolsack, in full bottomed wig. pre-
sided over the august debates of the
house of lords, was a very imposing
parsonage indeed. AS lord chancel-
Tor of England, keeper of the seal and
of his majesty's conscience, he was
an integral portion of that fine old
institution, the British Constitution.
But Lord Masterton, In private life,
was a stout, jolly old gentleman, with
a penchant for punch. And the Brit
ish Constitution had made him Lady
Elizabeths guardian.
Because Lady Elizabeth's parents
had both died and the most diligent
search had failed to discover anything
resembling will wherefore, her
property, being large, the lord chan
cellor had become her natural guard
ian until she attained her majority, or
a new government brought into ONCE
new lord chancellor And 1t was
quite certain that Lord Masterton
would send to prison any American
salesman Of agricultural implements.
haling from Nebraska, and calling
himself Jones. who presumed to marry
his guarded and circumscribed treas
ure, Lady Elizabeth, before she attain
ed her minority.
I'm going straight TO the house OF
lords and let him." said Mr. Jones.
NO, dearest" pleaded his newly
mads wife. Leave II to me. Ill ind
way. You know Reggie is very
fond of me. The thing TO. do IL to
break It gently" 81
But did break my intentions gen
tiy.- said Mr. Jones despondentiy. Il
stopped his cab and got In and told
him who 7 was and what wanted.
And he threatened to call q police
man."
In fact, Mr.. Jones had not been
very tactful on that occasion. He
had met Lady Elizabeth at a fancy
dress ball to which he had somehow
obtained ticket, had fallen head over
ears in love with her, and met her in
the park next day. proposed on the
third meeting, and was accepted on
the fourth. And then he had tried
short cut to success. He stopped Lord
Masterton's cab in a crowded street.
and the conversation that ensued was
something like this:
The Lord Chancellor (waking out of
snooze-"E er-um-as your lordship
was saying with reference to this
measure before this house-er-hello!
Why, bless me, who the deuce are
your"
Mr.. Lionel Jones-"Sorry to be so
unceremonious, lord. My names
Jones of Fairfield, Neb., very good
family, staunch Presbyterians,
don't drink, or chew, smoke in mod
Grafton. love your ward, Lady Eliza
beth, want to marry her."
The Lord Chancellor-"Help! Help!
There's a crazy man in the eab!"
Exit Mr.. Jones at a rum
Il know It's hard, dearest" sighed
Mrs. Jones. But we've got to part.
There's no help for 1t. But I'll get
the opportunity within day or two,
and then Wen be happy all our lives"
On the ext morning ne received a
letter from his bride.
Il don't know what tc do, dearest"
1t ran II have spoken to Reggie,
and he absolutely decline to let us
get married or to have anything to
do with you"
"a low and sa. i4othing II you see
me-" Mr.. Jones wrot , back. 'Pm go
ing to wear him out. haven't sold
, agricultural implements Ave years for
nothing"
Parliament adjourned the following
week and Lord Masterton went to
f, Scotland to shoot grouse. II there
4, was one thing he prided himself upon,
1t was his craftsmanship. but he was
getting old and lethargic. he sadly
admitted, and he was not so quick as
he once had been. In brief, hav-
ing ensconced himself behind his butt,
he placed his gun by his side and
settled himself for snooze.
Bang! Bangl he heard at his
side. and started up. gun in hand A
coyy had flown over him. and two
birds pumped down at his side. a
whirrfn0 mass of fQafhara noaida