The Washington times., 1913-09-13
OME,,SI,1C
DIALOGUE

Scene: The dining room Of the Joneses
| nat at breakfast time.
sdsnirinsiy on William tsssd si!!: who's
fAce. hA6 been scrubbed to the. brfiifancy o
a4lsinp. reflector. Wnliam also sports spot
less Buster Brown collar and a damply sltci
| head.)
Mrs. J. (heaving sigh)-Do you know
1t makes me feel SO funny to think tina
cur Willie is really going to school fol
the first time! Somehow, I think q
mother loses her closest hold on hei
child when she sends him to school.-ft
be Influenced by the teacher and othe,
Mr. j. (amid scrambled esgs).Non.
sense! The best thing In the world that
can happen to him. He's always been
too much Of n mama's boy.
Mrs. ]. (severely)-We'u never agree
on that topic. Hiram: What you think
is baby yishness is really the sweet. affec.
tionate hild-spirit that naturally Graves
Mr. j. ierimly)-Maybe. Well, / was
sent to school when was six, and
went to work. by gosh. when I was
me much.
Mrs ]. (tremuously)-Of course, you
can never expect a mere father even to
approximate a mothers feeling. But
anyway. I know I'm going to be blue
Mr.. J. addressing william)-How dc
you feel about it, son? Glad to make
the break?
wiiiie Gsuddenly disturbed)-Eh-huh.
Mrs. J. Quitting in)-I still maintain he
school.
Willie (eagerly)-Say. pa. If I bring
home a coed ticket, en- 1 have a nickel
Mr.. J: i.lappinE him on the back'-
Mrs. ]. (hastily)-There. See? Bribery!
That's fine way to start him of.
Mr.. ]. Shifting responsibility)-Aw,
it's an old custom. Every kid always
gets something for a good ticket.
Mrs. J. docking sadly at William)-
Hiram. I'm afraid his little sourl be
hurt by the rough sallies of the other
children and the names they may call
him.
Mr.. J.-f any one calls you names
you give him a good swat in the jaw,
and don't you forget IT.: Hear?
Why. the child's never punched any
one in his life. What ideas are you
putting In his head?
Mr.. ]. (rebelliously)-Ideas that should
have been there long ago If he's going
sissy. How about it. william?
Willie Ctersely)-Eh-huh.
Mrs. J. (smoothing Williams forehead)
See! The child's dumbfounded. He
doesn't know what to answer. Never
you mind. mothers precious. you just
ing, and every one'll be found of You
and respect you.
Mr.. j. Gnterrupting)-Yeh. Respect
YOU and punch your blooming head off!
Mrs. ]. (highly indignant)-Hiram!
Really. this is too much. I can't have
training that I've given this child. What
would YOU do II our William became
like the little rowdies you see on the
streets? What would YOU do If he
played the coarse. unmanlv tricks In
school that some BOYS do. such as putty
blowing and spitballs?
Mr.. J-That isn't necessary. ] don't
recommend spitballs myself.
Mrs. J. dntensely)-Of course I'm ex-
aCgerating when mention those things.
Because the innate refinement of our
william would make those gross things
simply wouldn't countenance 1t.
Whine lin shrill torture)-Oh, Oh!
Somethin's stickin' into me!
Mrs. ]. Cupsetting her offeel-What's
sticking into you. Willie? Tell mother,
Mr.. ]. 0rying to be calm)-Now don't
get excited. Julie. it's Just a little
fwinge of something that the boys got
William continues the Comanche
SfW Mrs. ]. (wildly)-Is it a pin. Willie?
Tell mama, do You think it's a pin.
FINALLY. william. tossing both parents
tn one side. draws from his back trou-
sers' pocket the bent remnants Of a
putty blower)
Willie (serene again)-lt must "a got
bent an tn end stuck in me. Gee, it
wuz sharp, too!
Mr.. and Mrs. J. (simultaneously)-A
putty blower! WILLIAM!
Without more ado Mr.. ]. investigates
the other pockets. bringing to light a lot
nj newspaper scraps. incipient spitballs
and a number Of small beans. also am
munition.
Willie (explaining)-Aw. tn gang said
vuh couldn't be "member NV this
club" unless Nuh swatted the teacher
tvict on tn first day!
Mr.. J. (scathinSlv to Mrs. J)-There's
no doubt that home training becomes
deeply rooted!