New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Tommy" had been taken by his mother to NOV
ing picture show 1t was the first time he had ever
seen the motion picture actors, and he maintained
an air Of suppressed excitement all through the per-
Torrance. AS they stepped out into Broadway
again "Tommy's" mother asked: well, how did
you like the play" The little fellow was loud in
his praise Of what he had seen, but still there
seemed something lacking in his Endorsement Final
ly he blurted out
Say, ma, next time go, let's get seats way up
in front. We sat far back couldn't hear word
they said"
She-What was the doctors diagnosis?
He-Palpitation of the heart
She-Well, why doesn't he keep away from herr
Judge.
Third Deputy Police Commissioner Harry New
burger escorting young woman who was in
terested in social work through some Of the East
Side dives. In OF the rooms under dance hall
Of the lowest type, where food served the young
woman. partly to protect herself from worse odors
took out cigarette and began smoking. Immedi-
ately the "bouncer' at her chair Here, you"
he shouted, put that out, Where dye think you
are-in the Rtz-Carlton?'
Have you implicit confidence in him."
81 have. I'd trust him with everything own
II know. But would YOU eat mushrooms that he
had picked himself?'-Dctroit Free Press.
At Jersey political meeting in the recent CAM
paign one of the scheduled to speak arrived at
the hall somewhat intoxicated. The chairman or
the meeting promptly told him that he would not be
allowed to talk, and frankly gave as the reason that
he believed he drunk.
Not drunk" declared the spcbinder; Il should
shay not, No man is drunk when he can shay
snish-snishiative an referendum
At times we think it must have been Baron
Ntnchauscn who said that there had been but seven
original Jokes since Adams rib was first uckeo-
Hartford Courant
AT meeting OF business men in Detroit last week
the owner Of an automobile plant made an after
dinner speech i'm which he said he believed the com
pany had reached 1oo per cent efficiency, because
complete automobiles were being turned out a' '"o
rate Of one every two minutes. The next speaker
said he couldn't see that moro than 90 per cent
efficiency had been attained by the company aiore-
said because II was a well known fact that a fool
was born every minute.
is she good to tho children"
VERY She lets them do everything their father
doesn't want them to do."-Detrolt Free Press.
Eddie Foy tho comedian who has been appearing
in vaudeville with his seven children, Incidentally
experiencing difficulty with the courts because OF the
tender age Of some Of his offspring was being con-
graduated a few years ago when his Youngest child
was born.
But hadn't you six before" he was asked
.'oh yes" said Foy. but actor always likes to
see a full house you know
"Thc earth was created for man. quoted the
Wise Guy. And the average fellow seems to labor
under the deluson that he is the man" added the
Simple Mug-Philadelpha Record.
what is the proper drink with snails?' asked the
guest in the French restaurant.
"Sloe ;in,' replied the waiter.
"IIe talks like real New Yorker"
But he isn't. \ real New Yorker never leaves
home. '-Clcycland Plain Dealer.