The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1913-08-15

- HE writer QlQ not ma one
person in Hawley on Tues
lssss day who would admit that
lSGSAj he was the possessor of a
particle of news. Accord
ing to the reports of everybody in
terviewed there was absolutely moth
ing doing. Therefor, if this depart
ment is dull and uninteresting this
week there is nobody to be blamed,
for even as it is declared to be an
impossibility Ito make whistle out
of pigs TAIL" even SO is it quite i'm
possible to pump up matters of inter-
est where there are no matters" to
work on.
Talking about that old pigs tall
aphorism Il guess that's the right
word to use), reminds me that one
of the curiosities that years ago was
exhibited in Barnum's museum in
New York city was a sure enough
whistle that would whistle that Josh
Billings, the phunny, phoentic phil
osopher made out of pigs tail
which he had carefully dried after
removing the bone from the skin.
Josh actually did the trick; but he
never manufactured such whistles
for the trade.
People are talking, talking, talk
ing all over Hawley. They are talk
ing about the Chautauqua, the
"mine' fire, the concrete walk that
Frank Dennison can't build because
the School Board says may" the
latest base ball gossip, and about the
fresh air kids and the slang they
slung while on their recent visit.
TnI oh cIo
of something that was recently pub
lished in The Inland Printer, the best
printers journal in the world. II
was written by H. F. Lockhart. Now
! don't know who Mr.. Lockhart is
but he has the slang business right
down to date, and what he wrote and
the Inland Printer published is
passed along to you in this depart
ment. Mr.. Lockhart called it
SOLILOQUIES OF THE DEVIL.
This measly print shop amt no place
for me;
Good manners in this joint don't
make no hit,
The slang them printers uses-Hully
chee!-
Would make a Yale professor
You bet yer life 1 wouldn't talk the
stuff;
I never could stand for that kind oi
CUFF!
Me mudder, too; if ever she got wise
That 1 was usin' slang, she'd bust
me Stats.
So many times she tells me Bat yeI
eyes,
Or ye'n be talking like them
Casey brats."
Them kids talk slang, but say! I got
hunch
They amt got nothin on this printer
bunch!
This mornin' when I first come down
to work
The foreman says: Here, Henry
hit the pike,
An git yer skates on-don't you dast
to shirk;
Be back in fifteen minutes. Skip
now, hike!"
A. first I didn't tumble, then I went;
For "Chase yerself" was all the
geezer meant.
He talks a lot about the galley
too;
s'pose he means his girl. l rath.
er guess
That she'd be pretty mad if she just
knew
How much he talks bout putin
forms to press.
Say! If he wants to hug her, that's
his game.
1 wouldn't talk about it, just the
same.
I guess I'll have to quit; I'm gettin
bad,
Sometimes I hate to go to Sunday
school;
I'll sure lose all the bringin'-up I've
had
If l do everythin' by printers rule
But if l stay and all the rest goe!
hang,
Say what you within darned if II
talk slang!
There, now, if you are not too
shocked to proceed any further, yol
are at perfect liberty to wade
through such items of more or les
interest that were jotted down OIL
the Down Hawley Way pad.
;;::;f
Particulars, PecuIiarities, Queries
About HawIey's "NIine" Fire.
Not to be outdone by towns anC
cities "over the mountain" and Car
bondale in particular, Hawley nov
has a full grown mine fire all of it
own. 1t isn't a dinky little affai
that Hawley is ashamed of and yol
have to walk to some out-of-the-wa.
place to see, for it is right in tn
heart of the town, and you can see
from the depot while waiting 70
your train, and the Company doesn'
charge anything extra for all tn
looking you want to do.
The fire was discovered a few day
ago, and strenuous efforts have beel
made for its extinguishment. TIL
fire is located right across the Fri
tracks from the depot. 1t extend
from a point near the eastern end O
the freight station down toward