El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-06-23

- Joe Brlck- he looked worried
When greeted him with
smile he groaned
ooh, If you only knew! II you
only knew but you don't
Then, feeling like most unhappy men.
desire TO cOnfide the story OF his
misery to somebody, he told it TO me,
and a pitiful story it was. indeed.
Ny affairs were going spIendidly
and I was already hoping to become a
member Of the MilliOnaire's club be-
gan Joe a rich marriage thought,
would help me along In society j had
O1ten met Miss Ruby Smith, daughter
OF the king OF agriculture, a young
woman of unusual beauty, but who un-
fortuna Cely had neither arms nor legs.
she was called the trunk woman She
was known TO be amiable and sweet
tempered and was extraordinarily
bright. so bright indeed that most OF
the schemes which had made her IA
ther the richest man in the United
states, had been Matched in her brain
decided TO marry Ruby smith, ana
one afternoon dressed in my very best
clothes 1 asked her father for her
hand"
He looked at me sharply and said;
Ny daughter is very rich, how
much are you WORTH
u told the dreaded magnate all
ABOUT my hopes ] proved TO him that
1 had an idea which would revolution
lie the manufacture Of beet sugar, that
I had a scheme to cut the cost Of oIeo-
marglne in two, and depicted to him
an me details Of my plan to increase
lne crop OF BursSels sprouts, to triple
Us present size By sprinkling the
plants twice a day with water from
the celebrated Manneken Pts fountain
IN Brussels and how there were untold
millions IN my idea OF exporting black
fadlsnes 20 the negroes in Africa
He was greatly impressed. took ne
into his arms and exclaimed.
Y on are to be nv soninlaW IL
Ruby VIII have you for her husband
Miss Ruby received me most cor
daily. Poor little one, how beautiful
she was A regular Venus from MILO
only more perfect still since her legs,
too. were missing.
I shall not go into details It IS
enough 70 tell that she accepted me
ana date for our WeddinE Ii was
celebrated with great splend0r. 1t was
the happlesr day in my life. After
the ceremony my wife received all
ner old friends with open arms. 10
spirit at least, in our new home. ] felt
my future was assured and knew that
j would surely be elected for member
ship I'm the BilliOnaires club which
was the height OF my ambition. Alas
Il was not to be-
MY dear little wife. my darling
RUBY / said to my bride when we
were alone. What do you say TO Civ
ing up all our old habits for a few
months and leave this feVerish town
Tor an idyllic wedding tripg
You really think Of everything.
joe she exclaimed. and as she could
not clasp my hand she looked right
into my soul with her angelic eyes. 7
the world
Il have always been a most chival-
rOuS Fellow, so j felt like kissing her
hand, but had to kiss her forehead in
do love you so. Joe she wills
And I adore you. Ruby There is
no other woman in the world half 50
beautiful TO me as YOU arer
We left for Canada in our private
car, starting on our famous trip
which filled columns in the neWspa-
perS- We We're TO cross the Rocky
mountains and stay for some time in
monterey and Los Angeles. but the
pitless hand of destiny interfered- We
were as happy as two turtle doves dur
ing the 1lrSt part of our journey and
/ felt that Ruby loved me more every
Then the fatal day come. The
train, our own special train. Of course,
was speeding along at 20 miles an
hour, when suddenly there was a shrill
IS hlstle and the airbrakes were damned
down hard. Train robbers had held
rs up and now invaded our drawing
room
Hands up. cried 2 gigantic fellow
standing i'm the doorway"
Ruby behaved like a heroine and
smiled 1ndulgently at the bandit while
my hands shot upwards.
Hands up roared the robber once
more and as Ruby, of course, was IN
tole TO comply with his request, he
lred at her. killing her on the spot.
That is how / became a widOwer.'
'oobed Joe The king of agriculture
-ccused me of leading his daughter,
he the
rap He blackballed me in the Bill
tonatre's club and did not keep q
lngle promise to me in connection
With my schemes That is why am
ulned man today. BY the way can
'ou lend me S1OOT'
Only today, learned that Joe is
pending his time in a nice quiet re-
reat for the feeble minded. re had
old the story of his misfortunes to
igutied old judge while awaiting his