davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

got back right now. I'm drivn' 70
Middleton, anyhow, and 80 | might
as well drive beyond. I'll put the
bike In the wagon and YOU climb in.
Your folks have missed you by this
time, but YOU can hide the bundle
and say you went out to have a cry.
| sort of guess Tom will be over to
see YOU this very night"
Say, you are the best man In all
this world" exclaimed Janet as she
rose up
20, pshaw! | amt patching to
some folks. I'm Just trying to be
half way decent as jog along
through the world.
III Tom comes over, and think
he Will, YOU just stand him off for a
while. Look at him as II you didn't
know him. Tell him no tinware Is
wanted today. Tell him you don't
think your father wants windmill
or any wire fencing.
Let him realize what q girl he
lost and then unbend by degrees. .e-
member that YOU have heard mis-
name somewhere in connection With
girl that toes in. Talk about the
weather and the measles, and by and
by down on his knees he'll flop. and
YOU can paddock him"
When Uucle Jim let the girl alight
near her home he drove a mile far
ther TO see Tom Drake And long
three years went by before Uncle Jim
pulled his old horse up short one day
In front of a farmhouse to say to
woman at the gate and child hang
ing TO her apron:
Yes sir, you Topped OF that bike
that day Ike a perfect lady, and m
kind OF thinking that the girl that
tood In had to tee out long ago!"
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

II I'm good looking and smart
why did Tom leave me and take up
with that bony glrl2" demanded the
maiden as her sobs ceased all at
once.
You don't understand human ma
ture yet" replied Uncle jim. Young
folks that don't loye never quarrel.
There's nothing 10 quarrel about.
They love and quarrel and make UP
and get married That's the pro-
gram. and It goes clear back to the
year one. Always so always So"
And Tom will come back?"
Certain to. He's just dying to
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

Panama Canal Locks Now Are PraC-
tiCally Completed.

PANAMA, June 1T is officially
announced that all the heavy concrete
work of the six locks of tho Panama
canal has been completed. The lower
guard gates at Gatun and Pedro Mi
guel and the upper guard gates at
Mirarlores will be closed as soon as
possible after June -. the plan being
to allow Lake Gatun to fill. The lake
win be an artificial one, Of 10 square
miles.
Maurice l.. Thatcher has forwarded
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

der Of the war. when he went back
to the reunion this time Hayes had a
great curiosity to see whether his old
rifle was still In the hollow tree. He
searched ont the exact spot, found
the tree and climbing up to the hole
into which he had poked his gun he
reached in and brought it out again.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

this summer and he who doesn't
sign from one to twenty will have
overlooked golden opportunity Of
fcrred to every voter in this state
where the popular slogan is Let the
DeOnle rule"
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

pnrunE the same measure has
been revised by thr S,rl,Ilsts ana T.
n,us Initiated to ro ON the Aupnst
b. ballot AIuIou up3ulu,ous D.no-
cratic opposition ia assur,d bortuse.
o., g,puhlI.Irs and SorIaIIgt. v.ulJ
nrt9orn them. control thc ,lccti,u
uIurniu,ry .hnuId th. liu rr.,..l
,
f"F''n"r cruces hil.nuat'd wran-
EI' WIN lAt state b"trd or education
"hl'h h'd It's climax III the adoption
"i S'H""I text BOOKS Tor llNr years ana
tht ''llH ON the part oi the govern
or 'hat ih' adoption was Illegal viii
''So 90 h'i"rr tn" people for their
''Idl't state senator w D. MrAlls-
tor of Hugo tired through the two
sessions ot the legislature Just ended
20 push through bili creating a new
l"Im OF text BOOK commission and at
th' same TIM" rNt"nC the 1908 adop-
Tons for I'VE moro years. The Me
Allst'r hlII failed 10 get by the senate,
ana the extension feature IS now be
ing initiated. Board Of education
supporters call it the "book trust bin
while tho governor Is confident 1t Will
b" passed II adopted, simply ON the
merits of the books used under the
1908 adoption,
one ~ Governor Cruces pct issues,
the ah"lishment of needless schools,
fnilrd to receive encouragement at the
hands Of the Legislature nu1 ~ being
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

cant take such a flop as that with
out hurting some, even II she's good
looking and smart as a whip"
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08

to Washington his resignation as gov
ernor of the canal zone 1t is to he
effective at the expiration Of his vaca-
ton leave Of absence
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-06-08
Happy, Happy,
Use TIZ
MARVEL ron SORl lIIT \CrS
RIGHT orr.

send at once ror I'rcc TRIAL Package.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-02-01

ranks
Big Profits" the Lure.
"Uer. Nc 90 taIl,ina about big prof-
e.. and s,,,.fra, ,.f,, dinner. aud oyo,.,.-
=.
"o'' VIII ''''''N >" "'' S'''''7
asserted coHserFatiN" acreage dealer.
We'll there's not 50 much money being
made that can see. The real estate
man makes all he earn. or rather he
1,-o,.,.os 81, H., ,.. n,..,,... H.. tha
-
'he'' more rl5k OF losing OUT on
trades The man who said, There's
many a slip 'twiXt cup and the lip must
have been born in . real estate office
lie ,r.. q .irno,-rr,,o rbiI,.o,,t,ar as
.,,., 49,. .,,i,.t ,,.,,o,,,,, ,c ,,,,. ,r.,r, "
->Sai ~ every 'i'"' an" I'"'''SS''''
mas gwen up more IMAM one person u"
Inc I"aI estate game. lax" tAo Jaw
I"i example. Many young lawyers "h"
Haa 10 uae over mat a"iuI pef1oa III
the beginning OF thelr colhhleI'laI llNeS
nave puIIed thfouSh by way 81 l'ai IS
iai'.
\ LOT bought mere ana Io' SOFA Jh're
has brought IN profits that would never
nay" come through Blackstone. ca
likewise me young insurance sohcItof
''uid never nave joined the cluo ha'
ne not turned over some %hd at neat
profL
The morning saIutatIon has become;
greetings. Have you bought any real
estate today" And every man is his
own agent. Women nave not beeh Shul
out They are among the most active
traders, ana they wont take oare
Ike many men. They VIII trade "her-
ever possible, and they seldom lose
anything, either.
She's "Her Own Agent"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-02-01
Big Profits" the Lure.

! sary to conscnpt men nom lhc realty
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
FARE go CENTS
MERCHANDISING
DafIY Ercenf snnnar

Daily Except Sunday
Leaves New York, Pier 40. Wmma
River, ID. M Due &C BFfdwepuRa
$3.50 q. IN. Leave Bridgeport, Joy L.
Dock, 2 q. m. Arrive New York B -
m. For further information auf
rates apply to ,. y. Shepard. ARsn4
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Automobile Supplies

y. z. AUTO supply co. Let US
prove how we can save you 25 to 40
per cent. on your supplies. 60
aGaAn sc. Phone 1850
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
LABOR PARTY IN ENGLAND
OUT FOR FRANCHISE BILL

London, jan. 31-The national con-
vention of the Labor party, by a vote
of $50 against 437, has adopted a res
olution to oppose any franchise reform
bill which does not include votes for
women. The resolution. authorized
labor members to oppose any bill not
extending the franchise to- the women,
regardless of the alliance now exist
ing between Labor members and Ldbs
erals.
WANT ADS. CENT A WORD.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Art Glass

BRIDGEPORT ART GLASS CO., 1913
John ST. Phone 1O17-e
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

LNOIEUM! A fine assortment of
Neponset Ino1eum, in handsome
patterns at Btu cents per yard,
ments If you SO desire. EIwood's
Auction Warerooms, III John st.
Open Saturday evenings. as
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Automobile Dealers

III. M. FORD
Distributor Maxwell Cars and the
r c. H. $780,
1897 Main st. Phone 1872
sTARBUCK & BIATTICE. FORD
CARS. s5s Fairfield Ave.
Phone 4o75-2
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

DTsHEsf DISHES! We have the
greatest assortment of dishes. ever
shipped to this city and we offer the
same for sale at absolutely ''aue-
ton prices" Elwood,s Auction
Warerooms, 171 John St. az
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

HERES A BARGAINl we have a
consignment of panel Administer
rugs, size ski, regular $4,000 quail
ity, that we are Offering for sale at
the remarkable low price of $16.SO
and on easy terms. This rug pro-
position is well worth looking into.
Elwood's Auction Warerooms, III
John st. Open Saturday evenings.
=
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Lost and Found

Dinner ring. Re
ward offered. Return F. Romm.
.728 Beechwood Ave. A 3Os*
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Help Wanted

BARBER wanted steady job for the
right man at 2012 Main street
A29 IS
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

WANTED.-Sa1esn on ablished
tea and -coffe route, in Bridgeport.
Must furnish small bond, also horse
and harness. Call after p. m. 40
Central Ave. P. T. Garland.
A 80 p
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Shoe Stores

8: 8. THING & CO., 115s Main a.
| Main st. PboTS "1SSe
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Bakers
Beaver Board

THE A. w. BURRITT CO., KnowIton
St ---1-@ 9hons sos
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Second Hand Furniture

II. A. JASNIIN, s5e State st. can
UP 1858 and get 10 per cent. more
for your goods. Why? Low rent
larger business. quick sales.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Photography

DEVELOPING of films and plates Tor
amateurs, first class work Pruarau-
Geed. Armgtrong-Whitm Studio
Park and Fairfield AYES. IT, afs
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

" A N T e D.-Posit1on,. by a reliable
young man, "a years old, as q coll
lector, salesman, or any outside posi-
ton. References. Address r. H.
c., care of Evening Farmer or
Phone 1882. A 20 If
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

TWO CAR LOADS of rugs, furniture,
metal beds, bedding, lace and scrim
curtains, 1fnoIeum, dishes Stamford
ranges and heaters spring couches,
second hand goods, etc, for sale Fat
auction prices at private SALE on
terms to suit the convenience of the
purchaser. A. EIwood & Son Inc,
Auctfoneers, Warerooms, III John
: ST. Open Saturday evenings. as
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Printers and stationers

STAR PRESS prints business cards.
envelopes, bill heads, statements
Gulars. Low prices first class work.
Jacob Schneider, Prop, 1913 Kos
suth. St, corner Stratford Ave:
Phone 2503-12. Union office.
T 8 If
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

WANTED.-Man in every factory,
spare time, 1 hour day, add from So
to $14 to weekly income. Knowl-
edge of S1avish or italian an advan-
tage. Opportunity care of Farmer.
- A. 9 s
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE no mystery.
The f1remen confined it to the furs-
below but could not prevent the
smoke from reaching our pianos. A
liberal insurance allowance enables
US to save you $4,000 to $175-O0 on
each piano. Come and see them.
Piquette Piano Co., upstairs, Main
and Golden Hill. Open evenings.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
For Sale

BARGAIN. For sale. 2 family house
(neW0, all improvement good 10
ca1ity; also room cottage, min
utes from Post Office. No agents.
Address L.. W., care of Farmer.
A 27
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31
Coal
Druggists

JENNIE HAMILTON PHARMACY.
Cor. Main and State SITS. Phone sag
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE SMOKED
PIANOS2 They are such values as
no one could offer unless well COW
cred by insurance. See them and
Co., upstairs, Main and Golden Hill.
Open evenings. as
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

USED KNABE PIANO, taken in ex-
change for player, beautiful tone,
perfect condition. will sell cheap for
cash or easy payments. William A.
TornIinson, 1 5 Fairfield avenue, up
stairs, Sagal Building, Room 100
1O3 T3is If.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

first class mil1wrights
and carpenters, first class engineer
and repair man. Work out of town.
: Apply Saturday evening 1880, 122
Bank ST. A 81 b*o
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1913-01-31

POULTRY FOR SALE! Extra fine
Cook and Ke1larstrass S. c. White
Orpington Cockerels for sale at a,
bargain. Inquire 264 Black Rock
Ave- City a.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
OPERA TUNlC
AND HEADDRESS
in LATEST MODE.


"A iiilas ,. = .ass
,s.s.a,,. a ~ ., ,,,,Iis,,ad rIi,,,.
ne 80. s 4, ,.s s,1'a,ssa i.-,',,,,
WI o'.9 !. sls ss.... s.1,tss =, -
.s. s..s.s 1 ,.--s1- ss;,s IL s;,ir 81
$3.50 :. I, ~, t,,-,,se.
osns $3.50 .. J, awnaSs;na @ .,,,es a,,es
| = = p.a ss -. at;aa,, &C., astsan =,
=. ss1usu ~ as,,s,. s ~ $. = -ns,,s;sa Ta. =
sMon.s e. n.s sn,,.s. Ts,s., 49,,
@ ,s & ,4 @ 1's,s :, -
$50 w NJ S11.' 40 s.ss ~, !,
sa 80 "S.s 49, =. ~ .he,,t s'S t,,a s.
I.s ,tt, 3 asas tts s.rs- - tns A.
ura r nsed hard,v s',I,s IL Tart;onea that
tbev i, - arc .e1 stsleast n n,,est,onahle taste
sals = s,,s,,.,, 80 dsvt;,rs s.
" ~. Z. : 4. s...
ns9 las1ao - ', yass -, -" S.,s" -" =. 3
: = :. s...s-,s-. nj
49, $3.50 !. =. s..s.. 4, .,., s
Iss gIas and iawa,syasnsc;s,,v ,,e -, nsayIs.
Tbe IrS,e, nastsrr a. sswad ~ net.a sfrong
f,na R,,,ssa,s ,I ~ q r,,Ie-h,t nous
go ..,a go a,.ass o,,,s,o,, orc
.,s@ rsaS for garmerts n wb;ch tbe
s,,,hro;dsrv s. hsa,,s i MT varv haavv
sss,. ..sss.,,,.. . :, .,,.,,,,, ,- .,,,,,, =
49, 81 sSs4s ss ss". =
T@a s,,,aasa 80, ,,r SsS n,s;ah = ~ sass
s...sSs 80. 80 go ss - e 9.1T1 M, se-
- ricblv anbroidared With heads n
h,scr a,,a rhita nitI, - aararo,,s ,,,s'e NV
s,,,.s -- - - rti,,astona. srha 5as;ar
1sava. notbirg - ~ ~ das;rad ,or tSa
IL. ,vor,s, r,hosa t,s,,rs = t,,a sro,,.,, 4
ws -rsnt go ssrrent dss,snsd sc = a. Il
on There Il 4 4babv, waist of white
chiffon with moderately low nack
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Blue centerplece.

A quaint and pretty centerpiece for
the dining-room table. when it is not
in use. is OF white linen worked In
china blues.
Get centerpiece OF rather large
size and stamp In cross-stitch design.
Work the cross-stitching in several
shades Of blue and edge the center
piece with torchon or cluny lace. The
blue-and-white is particularly effective
If there happens to be piece of blue
-and-white china near to echo the color
note.
Covers for the buffet and the sery-
ing table could also be made. and FUR
ther carry out Ne color scheme
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

it is the most desirable wear for be-
tween seasons There is an unbeliey.
able amount OF warmth init. It seems
to generate heat, but Of course it only
holds it. This gives it q cozy feel,
which for days that are simply chilly
and not severely cold. is pure COM
fort. In sets for early winter wear
or for all winter wear It's light weight
commends 1t for concerts, matinees or
visiting toiletes.
A beautiful set is pictured here. con-
sisting of cape with fiscu ends, and
a large, fat muff. 1T is in the natural
taupe color, which will harmonic
with about every other color under
the sun or shade.
The cape is a now model fastening
about the throat in the fashionable
t'V'' shape. Soft ribbons, matching
the marabout in color. are used as q
decoration in it~ The fischu ends give
1t sufficient length to be thrown close
around the throat and over the shoul-
der in case the throat needs protec-
tion.
Marabout Is very grateful. It will
stand much wear, for airing and shak-
ing out cause the tiny fiues to fun in
way highly pleasing. 1t is as ele-
CANT as fur, and far less expensive
thar any fur that looks as well.
JULIA 6oTToMLEY.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

faultlessly executed. That one shown
in the picture is fitting.
It is one Of those in which small
ringlets or loose puffs cover the crown
Of the head. A broad band Of black
velvet encircles the head. finished
with rhinestone BUCKLE at the front
and a tall, outstanding ostrict. single
ply plume, with head curling back
ward.
1t would be hard to imagine any.
thing more complete and beautiful
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Mlssed enc Roat.

"Your ancestors did not come over
in the Mayfiower!" snapped the tall.
spare, thin-lipped Miss Hester Plym-
rock.
NO" and Alias Ananias rubbed
his chubby hands together, while an
oily smirk spread over his fullmoon
phiz. You see, it was this away.
The old man forgot to wind UP the
alarm clock and 50 missed the boat"
Judge.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

isabelle lifted her head ana her eyes
blazed
"Been tell'2' she uttered
Yes. he insisted. what It's r.
Isabelle recovered herself with stiIl
disdain.
She ain't been tell me not 'ings she
said coldly, and stepped into the grass
to pass him
Isidore was before her.
Den how It's you know? ne de-
manded doggedly
IsaEelle's anger blazed again.
Know, she repeated Maybe 'tis
you t'ink cant see! Ha?p
Seer Isid0re questioned. Sect
Mais what It's you see den? r.
The beauty looked him over with
burning eyes.
what It's see? VOLTA, what 'tis
i see! see you yesterday when you
give teacher ring. "
"Rings Isidore repeated blankly.
sRing!" Then the Joy of it came to
him and he assumed serenely.
II give teacher ring yesterday, yes.
mals twas her ring.
Isabelle's shoulders lifted.
Yes" she Knocked, Il reckon me.
'tis her ring now and Something
too strong for her broke of Isabelle's
polite speech. Isidore's serenity fed
from him.
Non, non.'' he cried. .'Twas her
ring. She drop it on ground me,
pick it'll give it to her. Mais out!
She was show me what It's make
moon come up. And she drop it on
ground Mais oui Twas like dis.
meet teacher come from school and
/ ask her, me, what tbs make moon
come up 2. And she show me how 'tis.
voici! Teacher have her watch, but
me, ain't got watch, ] take your
hand. And we say like dis Your haad
is earth where we live and dis ring
Isidore drew forth silver one bought
a year ago when his hopes were high
and dis ring will be like de moon.
And she go round and round de earth
Comme-ca? Teacher say moon go
SO fast she can't fall down on earth.
mais Dis moon, she don't go SO fast
like das. voici, ellie la tombe de sur
notre doigt.
And the ring was on Isabelle's slim
brown finger, shining softly there in
the falling light. Isabelle looked at It
and Isidore looked at her. and softly
through the woods there came reach
ing to them mystical beams Of magic
beauty what touched the bent heads
with tenderness and lay like prom
ise Of peace on the locked young
hands isabelle drew a breath.
VOLTA : she whispered, La lune."
Isidore did not look round.
YES" he said, "she come up. mais
dis moon kissed the ring shyly
dis moon, she stay still"
tCopyright by Daily Story Pub. Col
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
unconscIous J contenp,t.

aThe way Of the transgressor is
hard" said the justice, as he fined Bill
dad for exceeding the speed limit.
Not around here 1t ANTI" retorted
Blldad. Il never saw such mushy
roads in all my life.''
'"Ten dollars extra for contempt o.
court" said the justice.
why, / haven't said anything about
you, judge. protested BiIdad
Eyes, ye hev," fetorted the Justice.
I'm road commissioner here as well
as jestice o. the peace Harper's
Weekly.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Metamcrphosis.

Stranger (returning to the old
home town after an absence Of TWEEN
ty years) Well. well, well: how lit
tie the village has changed. You re.
member Red Splivvins we boys used
to run around with-is Red still liv-
ing here yet?
Native-Is he? Well. I.guess. Hey,
Badly! Badly Splivvins! Don't you
know your old friends when you see
,em? Come over here and shake
hands with Sam Hankins from New
York.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Why Il II?

Il can't tell you." said the expert
enced suburbanite, in reply to the
question Of his new neighbor. when
the next train goes, but can tell you.
what your chances of catching it are. !"
What are they?" inquired the new
neighbor eagerly.
Well. IL you run as hard as you
can" said the experienced resident.
you'll have fifteen minutes to wait.
and if you merely walk you'll find the
train just steaming out Of the sta
tion.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
He Reproaches Her.

He-You upbraid me for losing
money on the races you?
She-And why should not?
He-Yet recall one blissful mo-
ment, not SO long ago. when we stood
together beneath the silent stars. and
you said that no stroke of adverse
fortune could ever draw from your
lips one complaining word.Puck
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Prlnce Charmino.

And you really once saw prlnce?"
Yes"
aOh!" she exclaimed. clasping her
hands and gazing with awe into the
eyes that had looked upon royalty,
what was he doing?"
Trying to balance a chair on his
chin to amuse chorus girl Judge.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
He Almost Knew.

Ruggles, you used to work on q
farm, didn't you?"
Yes: grew up on farm
"Then you can tell me what want
to know. Which side do you milk a
COW on?''
"WelI, it's either the right or the
left, can't remember which,"
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
stronu PresumptIve Evidenlce.

Man With the Bulging Brow-You
think I go across the street too often.
hey? What put that notion in your
cocoanut?
Man With the Bulbous Nose You're
always chawin' some kind O. perfumed
gum.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
Mr.. skinnem Explains.

Il see. father said Mrs. Skinnem,
who had become vastly interested in
automobiles, that the wank-Wank car
is sold for $4,000 f. o. b. What does
{. o. b. mean?'
"Well. my love-" said Mr.. Skinnem.
s.if i boughbit. it would be an abbre-
Walton for fine old bust. Why don't
you and Mabel go for a trolley ride
this afternoon ?" Judge.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

Water Haul.

sGood-morning. masam May / ask
Il your husband is at home :"
He isn't.
! Perhaps you can tell me what
want to kFow. Is he carrying any life
insurance?
rs his life insured? Is that what
you mean ?''
Yes. ma'am."
IT is. sir. But don't make the mis-
take of thinking he's doing the carry
ing Of the same. I'm doing that my
self. And I'm carrying all he's worth.
Goodmorning, sir"
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
The Real Feminine Power.

SO you don't approve of those Lon
don suffragettes ;"
Il don't know much about them,"
replied Miss Cayenne, but / can't
help feeling that a woman who cant
subdue a few men without the use Of
dynamite Is something of failure"
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

Blarney.
"Phwat manner" snapped the magis-
trate. as he glared at the prisoner
Patrick Casey, sorr."
"Hov ye ever been befure me be-
fure?''
mo. your honor-r. Owe seen but
wan face that looked like yourn. an
.thot was the picture of an Irish king. /"
Discharged" announced his honor.
"Call the next case!"- Harper's Week
ly.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14
III Dutch

She was woman of few words One
afternoon she went into music store
to buy the book Of an opera for her
daughter. A salesman walked up to
her and in quiet way the visitor said:
Mikado' libretto.''
whats that, ma'am r.
!" .Mikado' libretto," repeated the
woman.
Me no speakee Italiano. he replied.
shaking his head.
The midland journal., 1913-11-14

Won't you weigh my dog?" said
the girl.
The druggist reluctantly arranged
his scales and reached for the canine.
Il want to see If he gained any
thing while he was away" explained
the girl.