The Washington herald., 1913-03-10
NAMING THE SON AND HEIR.
BY FRED C. KELLY.


disonian English the sad tale Of the
Iyoung man out in Indiana who married
for money.
The young man did not feel it much OF
a hardship to marry for money, because
the woman In the case impressed him as
being good looking. He was destined to
have a rude awakening. because her
good looks all came from a department
store in another city by parcel post.
After they had been married q day or so
ahe grew careless about her personal ap-
lpearance and he saw that scarcely any
thing about her was real. Her face, that
had seemed winsome enough when gayly
decorated in color and surmounted with
$40 worth OF purchased pompadour, look
ed hollow and parchment-like. with
nothing to Set 1t off but the few dis
couraged strings of hair that went with
her. He could scarcely glance at her
without wincing. As she sat at her dress
Ing table. taking off things, and looking
Icaved-in and abandoned. she reminded
MN or nothing so much as an old ruin.
he recalled pictures he had seen Of gray,
deserted. spooky looking buildings.
With these thoughts running through
his head, he fell into gloomy reverie. and
she fitted into the picture as the near
abbey. just then she moved one Of her
| arms and
/ bat flew out,
Newspaper men heard a report one
afternoon that Senator Hoke Smith of
Georgia had got into a hand-to-hand
| r'ix-up with another Senator in the
cioakroom. and that the thing had
lbcen hushed up.
| Just one way to find out the truth
suggested one enterprising young
journalist. I'll go and ask Hoke
Smith himself. / don't believe he
would tell a lie
said the Georgia Senator when he had
heard the report. IF 1t had been true.
, there would have been one more de-
tail to be added. And that Is that
somebody would have been hurt
Representative Webb of North Caro-
lima. joint author OF the Kenyon-Webb
bill to keep liquor out of dry" States.
is the first Representative to indorse
tEo Wilson administration by buying
bicycle.
He is an enthusiast over all forms of
outdoor sports. and likes to take a
| bat and ball to a vacant lot and
knock up flies"
As one might infer from his work
on the Webb bill. Webb does not
| drink. He smokes cigars, but has al
\ ways kept away from cigarettes, chew
Ing tobacco. and the rum demon. He
wont even buy drink during a cam
paign.
Senator John X. Shields Of Tennessee.
practices raw In Knoxville. but his home
is on big ancestral place, near Bean
| Station. in adjoining county. The
Bean is after one William Bean. who built
the first log house in Tennessee. and
| Shields is proud to write his name on
| mi. &C.,
after it. He is expected to give "Bean''
as his home, in the Congressional DIrec.
tory.
But there was one trip not long age
on which he lost his nerve and regis
| tered Knoxville after his name. day after
day. 1t was his wedding trip. He had
not the heart to write down his wife-s
| name, and say TO the world. via the
hotel register. that she lived in Bean
Besides, he was afraid she might So
riorsly object to il, and he was loath to
have the honeymoon Journey spoiled by
a mere technicality.
On the day they reached Knoxville. at
the close OF the trip. they went to a
hotel, and Mrs. Shields was standing
right beside her husband when he start
ed to register. He threw his courags
into the high. and wrote down, Bean
station watching her out OF the tail
of his eye.
She just laughed
He could have written Bean instead
| of Knoxville right from the start.
The Senate was in session one night
toward the end OF the last Congress
until the early hours of the morning,
and statesmen's wives were calling un
to find out II they were really in ses-
sion or merely making an excuse to
stay out late.
made motion to adjourn. but il was
lost, notwithstanding that scarcely any
| OF the members could talk for yawning
At $50 Senator Stone arose solemnIy
and observed:
One may note from the first Fremont.
tory rays OF light from the east that
ere long twill be sunup-another dav
has dawned- / therefore make a par
Iiamentary inquiry whether II will not
now be proper TO take up the usual
morning business?"
Gd Doc Akin was the only man IN
washington who purposely missed See
ing each and every feature of the inaug-
uration exercises. Doc was a member
OF Congress until noon Of March T. The
moment the House adjourned, Doc sim-
ply went over to his Office in the Office
building TO pack up his effects, and ha
took the subway lest he might see what
was passing up Pennsylvania Avenue he
went to the station and caught a train
for his home in York State
wouldn't even look at such lot
OF silly goings-on.'' said Doc. IT'S all
foolishness- If I were made President
would go to the nearest justice OF tho
peace, take my oath. and then say:
Boys, I'm ready for business
One of Doc Atkins last Official acts wa.
to enter into the debate in the Hous.
over the question of improving the ven
u!ating system In the remodeled cham
Der. 1t was pointed out that IT Is difr-
cult to carry of allthe bad air without
creating an unpleasant draft
Could not arrangements be made" in
duired Akin. TO dispose of the bad air
by putting It in the Congressional Rec
ord?"
Copyright. 1913, by Fred G. Kelly. all rfehts ~
sr1red.)