The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1913-12-17
PITHY PARAGRAPHS

l Mother is mans best friend; she a1- l ways, stands by her boy,, no matter. 1 how good or how ornery he is. Mon I ey is mans next best friend-it at l tracts and holds the world to him. The 1 wife comes third in the list. As a l rule she is her husbands good friend I until the money is all gone. Then I she becomes as uncertain as the wind i that blows ,st
 l Most of the murderous instruments l of war are manufactured. by a gentle 1 hearted woman, who was formerly l Miss Bertha Krupp. The terrible l guns her machinery turns out have l caused many tn ousands. of widows and | orphans. And she rolls in the wealth l secured by means of her death-dea1- | ing devices.
 A little tragedy. Mother tells child
 that an angel is beautiful, has wings
 and flies. Child tells mother that
 father called the hired girl an angel. | The hired girl at once flew.
 1 There are still a few people in this 1 crazy modern world who are in fla
 vor of short courtships and long mar | riages, but their number appears to be growing rapidly less.
 ] There is said to be enough gold in
 the teeth of the living and dead peo- pie of this country to fill the largest
 freight ship af1oat. Prospectors ten | thousand years hence will find rich l pickings in what constitute our cem- i eterieS of to-day.
 l Fashion authorities are still trying 1 to locate the waist line in women f They'd better place husky young
 man on the job-he and the girl will l +I, 1o1o n7-4 4T-n1J
 ble.
 Now the critics are trying to prove 1 that Paul Revere never took that his i toricaI ride and that Maud Muller never raked hay; that she didn't ever have any hay to rake, and had never
 met a judge, unless it was a judge of good whiskey. Next thing these smart fellows will try to have us be- Iieve that Lady Godiva did not ride through the streets of Coventry, ar rayed in a wealth of golden hair and a scared smile.
 It seems that just as soon as some men succeed in gaining residence on Easy street, some other fellow comes along and attempts to shove him in the gutter. Such is life.
 A queen bee lays from two to three thousand eggs in twenty-four hours.
  cross a queen bee with a hen will soon have money enough to buy auto 1 mobile for himself and all his poor relatives.
 Our old friend, Diogenes, once said a remarkably good thing. When ask ed by a love-stricken youth when was the proper time to marry, he ans wered: eff you are young, not yet; if you are old, never.'' the man who cannot tell when the banks open, can generally tell when the saloons close.
 Lay a fainting person down. says a medical journal of recent date. If the fainting person be a horrid man or a female who will be AT in F'ebru- ary, we'll obey orders instanter, but if the fainter is a navy b1ue-eyed rosy Tipped girl of about Is or 25, these strong young arms shall support her, if we never lay up nickel.
 Some men will eat a good meal at home, of their wives cooking, and arise from the table without a word of praise for the patient little woman who did the cooking, yet when the same fellows get a burnt meal with cold slop called coffee at a restaurant they pay the bill cheerfulIy and tip the waiter (fema1e) handsomely and smiling the lime