davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

1t was the day after the Fourth.
There was no rush at the ticket sell
er's booth and he had time to answer
the query How do you stand it,?
That's all right" he said, but when
people ask questions and do the polite
in rush time-that gets my goat.
Think Of people standing at the head
of a long line saying: 'Good-morning
hot enough?' or I want tickets,
please every word distinct except the
one of most Importance. If hand out
two at a guess the man is sure to
want four. If l had my way there
would be a notice in every ticket booth
reading: Say nothing to the man
inside, except to tell how many tickets
you want. Be polite after you get on
the train"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

4 remarkable collection of weapons
procured by George KEENAN,, writer
auG traveller, during one of his trips
to Russia, has been lent to the Nation
al museum. Among them is one sword
of particular interest, that of Rus
sian executioner. 1t has long. broad
curved blade, bearing on one side an
Inscription of silver, inlaid in Steel
God help me to overcome my enemies
in the mountains and on the steppes,
while on the other side is the record
of campaigns against the Caucasian
mountaineers in 1887. The handle is
Of plain black wood the scabbard is
decorated in silver gilt and red velvet,
with repousse ornamentation.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

It is impossible to state with any
degree of certainty when the first
wrought iron was produced. The old
est pieces of wrought iron now known
are probably the sickle-blade found
by Belzoni, under the base of a sphynx
in Karnae near Thebes; the blade
found by Colonel Vyse imbedded in
the masonry of the great pyramid, and
the portion of a cross-cut saw ex
humed at Nimrod, by Mr.. Laward, all
of which are now in the British mu-
scum. A wrought bar of Damascus
steel was presented by King Fores to
Alexander the Great, and the razor
steel of China for many centuries has
surpassed all European steel in tenn
per and durability Of edge. The Hin
hoos appear to have made wrought
iron directly from the ore, without
passing it through the furnace from
time, immemorial and elaborat-
wrought masses of iron are still found
in India, which date from the early
centuries of the Christian era. Iron
ore has been found in the Hazare-
baugh district in India, which is said
to contain eighty per cent. Of pure
metal, together with a slight mixture
of manganese.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
MURPHY HELPED KEEP HOUSE
His Work Not Altogether Perfect, out
Probably on Par With That
of Most Men.

Murphy's wife was i'll. So Murphy
for he was only newly welded
decided, on completing his days work
to try to make himself generally USE
full in the house.
Accordingly, he bought a pound OF
bacon and a pound of soap, and set
about, SO he thought, to prepare
savory meal for his ailing wife.
The latter, however. even on her
bed of sickness, detected the ensuing
smell, and shifted at 1t wonderingly.
Then, rs the odor grew stronger
and more unpleasant. she. fastened
to the kitchen as quickly as she could,
and:
What are you doing, Murphy" she
inquired.
"Cookin' bacon" came the blunt re-
ply.
Bacon, man! Why, that's soap!'
Then, bedad," exclaimed the Irish
man, "I must have washed me shirt
wild the bacon."-Exchange
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Used srl Million Poles In 1911.

Use Of wood poles in the United
States in 1911, by steam and electric
railroads, electric light and power COM
panies, telegraph and telephone COM
panies, are presented for the coming
bulletin of the United States census
bureau. The total purchase amounted
to 3,41S,0O0, of which 70.3 per cent.
were bought by the telephone and tele-
graph companies, "a per cent. by cleo
trio railroads and electric light and
power companies, and 81 per cent. by
steam roads. The total number shows
a decrease of 452,700, compared with
1910, and $4,000 compared with 1909,
but it exceeds the totals for 1908 and
1907 by 16S,900 and 134.S00, respec-
lively. The decrease was confined to
telegraph and telephone companies
and steam railroads. More than 80
per cent. were of cedar, chestnut oak,
pine and cypress, standing in that
order of relative importance.-Engi-
neering News.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Yachts,

A yacht is vessel made of steel,
loaded with coal, soubrettes and
champagne and owned by man who
is trying to get away from his wife.
Sometimes, however, yachts are made
out of wood with canvas sails, and
sometimes they are inhabited by re-
spectacle people.
Yachts are propelled by steam, gaso-
line or wind; also money. They have
a useful purpose, inasmuch as they
get temporarily out Of the country
certain millionaires, who, when on
land, spend their time in spelling the
roads and taking up valuable room.
Once year all the yachts get to-
gether and have family party, 9th.
erwise known as the annual cruise.
While this is going on the stock mar
ket suspends operations, the trains
for Reno are put on short rations and
all the Newport tradesmen give their
bill collectors week off from their
arduous labors.-Life.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
IN PAIN WITH HEM0RRH0IDS

Bissell Ala.-1 was troubled for
several years with protruding hemor-
rhoids. They caused pain of the most
severe kind and some loss Of blood.
They were so infamed that the touch
of anything against them was most
intense agony. l got no rest nights
and had to have my legs and feet
propped up in the bed.
Il tried all kinds Of advertised
cures, and l was told that an opera
ton was the only relief. I suffered
untold agony. 1 saw the advertise
ment of Cuticura Soap and Ointment
and sent for a sample. l tried 1t and
then procured box Of Cuticura Soap
and Cuticura Ointment. l was cured
sound and we'll in three weeks time.
A cake of Cuticura Soap and two boxes
of Cuticura Ointment accomplished
what all else failed to do" (Signed)
L. r. Cook, Nov. IL, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. l.. Boston. ADV
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
IIoht IN the Spot,

An attachment has been made to the
revolver by a French inventor by
which the weapon in the hands of a
greenhorn is as deadly as in those of
a dead-sure shot A small and power
full electric lamp is mounted on the
weapon in such a manner that a cir
Gle of light is projected upon the tar
get and the bullet will strike the CEN
ter of the ring. This particular loca-
ton is marked by dark spot, and
this spot being placed over the heart
of an adversary and the trigger pull
ed the bullet cannot fail in it's deadly
work
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Peppery.


Mandy and 'Rastus had been quar-
reling for some time, and before de-
Gliding to go to court and end their
differences in a divorce, agreed to
visit for advice the friendly justice
of the peace who had married them
two years previously. For ten min
utes he listened to them patiently, as
best he could, following the recrimina-
tons first from the one and then the
other. Finally all the testimony was
In.
Now, look here, Mandy, l think
you're the one to blame. You simply
haven't taken time to learn 'Rastus.
Haven't you ever heard that woman
must eat peck of salt with mai.
before she can live with him friend
ly?"
"Shore she has, jedge," breaks in
'Rastus, but dat don't mean she got
to fill up wild pepper along wild 1t.
does hit, ledger"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Its INTERPRETATION.

"Oh, had such a wonderful dream
last night said the innocent young
heiress, crossing the gypsy fortune
teller's wrinkled palm with silver. L
dreamed l saw a sweet little Cupid
coming toward me through the snow.
He was dressed so oddly, for he wore
nothing but silk hat and a linen
buster trimmed with fur; and he
seemed very hungry, for every now
and then he made a SNOWFALL and ate
it. Tell me, good dame, what my
dream portends!"
my poor child" answered the seer
ess, "try to bear the awful truth
you will marry an actor. There is no
other possible Interpretation of such
a dream!"-Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

The traditional form ascribed to Sa-
tan-who is of course, spirit without
material body-is derived from the an
cient idea of the god Pan. This was
the god of the world of nature, per-
haps of what we should term material
ism. In days of old the Romans at
tributed to Pan all sudden and unac-
countable terrors, such as sometimes
seize armies or other large bodies of
people. Hence was derived our word
panic" and possibly also the notion
of confusing him with Satan. Pan had
goats (cloven) feet and horns, and
tail. all of which have been trans
ferred to Satan in the popular concep-
tion of his shape.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
MARRIAGE.

George AIDE, at one of his famous
picnics at Hazelden Farm. his Indiana
estate, turned the conversation. &C
cording to his wont, to matrimony.
In the midst of Mr.. AIDES jests a
business man declared stoutly:
well, say what you please George,
marriage broadens man."
81 suppose it might be put in tina.
way" said Mr.. AIDE. 'Flatten,' though,
Is the word I've always used"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Like Buqqins.

Charles w. Morse, at luncheon In
New York, said of certain com
planning type of French investor:
Here in New York, just the same
as over there in Paris, you've got to
be content with a very low rate OF
interest if you want perfectly safe
investment.
ut is folly to buy highly specula-
tive stock and then growl because
they oscillate the wrong way.
"Such people remind me of Buggins.
Buggins, you know. is always trying
to get something for nothing.
Mr.. Morse paused and a broker
asked:
And how does Buggins make out?
"Well,' said Mr.. Morse, ''he always
gets nothing for something"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Swiftest Moving Stars.

So far as we know, the two swift
est moving stars are Arcturus and a
star known as 1880 Groombridge. The
velocity of these stars has been esti-
mated at 200 miles a second The
speed is so great that we cannot cas-
lily realize it. Perhaps the fact that
they would make the circuit of the
earth in about two minutes may as
sist the imagination in an estimation
of it. So great are the distances of
these stars, however that the highest
power telescopes cannot detect their
movement and their speed can only
be determined by careful comparison
with the fixed stars.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Don't Care for Death.

Steeplejacks are proverbially reck-
Lessor apparently so-in their ac-
lions when engaged on their danger
GUS work A laborer who was attached
to one of these experts used common
ly to take midday nap wherever he
might happen to be situated. His
mates commonly found him on the top
of steeple or chimney stretched full
length upon single board, his arms
dangling over its sides, fast asleep. A
single lurch would have meant fall
of couple of hundred feet, and there
fore certain death, yet he treated this
possibility with the utmost indiffer-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Auntie Obliged.

Johnnie, the Office boy, is as in
genious in his excuses as he is prolific
with them. One day he showed up an
hour late for about the sixth time that
month. While being reprimanded
Johnnie exclaimed:
"But you will have to excuse me.
Mr.. Thompson, for l had to see my
mother off on the nine o'clock train;
she's gone to New York to visit for a
month"
Two days after Johnnie came in an
hour late again, but anticipated Mr.
Thompson by rushing into the latter's
private Office and exclaiming:
20, Mr.. Thompson, the stork left me
a baby sister at our home this morn,
ing"
Indeed" sarcastically exclaimed
Mr. Thompson, land your poor mother
away down in New York, tool"
20, that's nothing" answered John
ME. MY Aunt Sophie was at home
when the stork brought the baby"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
What Stood Between Them

man and woman waiting for a
car were watching a span of heavy
draft horses pulling big load up
hill. Their team work was perfect.
Just look how beautiful those
dumb brutes pull together" said his
wife. why can't human beings do
as well-why can't we?"
Easiest thing in the world, re-
piled the husband I'VE could If
Then why don't WEI" interrupted
the wife.
eff we had but one tongue between
u.s." finished the brute" member OF
the ousehold.-Kansas City Journal.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
To Remove Sharp speck From Eye.

The quickest and safest way of re-
moving a particle of steel or other
sharp object from the eye is described
by Hugh Wrigley of Philadelphia, in a
letter to Popular Mechanics. He says
that when working at an emery wheel
a speck of steel flew into his eye,
whereupon a fellow workman felt
along the lapels of his coat until he
found a protruding horse hair. This
he pulled forth and formed it into a
loop by folding it double. The eyelid
was turned back over a pencil; the
speck of steel was found and removed
by drawing the loop Of horse hair over
it.
This Is painless and cannot injure
the most sensitive eye.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
RIch Man Sneaks.

Otto Kahn, returning from Europe
on a sea-going palace, praised the
music and the drama in which he had
participated in his travels.
ut is a great privilege, he said, to
go abroad from time to time. The
poor. who cannot enjoy the privilege
are to be pitied.
81, you know, am not in the same
class as the broker who said:
" "rhe poor are to be envied. Pow
erty is blessing
Goodness exclaimed listener
respectfully, 4 didn't know you were
as rich as all that! ="
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
True Success.

Wycltff translates, The Lord was
with Joseph and he was lucky fel-
low" Real prosperity is from God
All good plans and business sugges-
lions are Of his inspiration. Man plus
God spells real success. The Lord is
the unseen partner of the truly sue
cessful life. Why do we not make him
more fully the helper in our secular
life?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Mould Do His Best.

Mike, porter at an eastern hotel, de-
cided one day to get married and gave
notice that he was going to leave and
live on a farm. The housekeeper, an
elderly woman. thought she would
give him some good advice. She said:
Nov Mike, promise me you will be
good to this woman. Don't work her
too hard. Promise me you will be
good to her"
Mike thought moment, then he
said:
"Well, I'll try; but she's got hi
of a disposition"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
No Chance.

What is your objection to working
in the country" inquired Mr.. Sub
bulbs of the domestic at the employ
ment agency.
I'm afraid I'll be lonely" replied
She
Impossible Why, there are Is OF
us in my family"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Another Form of Il.

Where are you going with that big
box of candy?"
I'm lobbying for friend of mine
whose girl has kept him guessing for
three years. If l can succeed in ma
king her come to his defense by say
ing he's not worth killing, why he's
going to show his appreciation of my
efforts in his behalf by inviting me to
an elaborate dinner"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
wbv He Omit

Two members of a country club
were discussing a fellow member. The
latter, it appears, did not have a rep
utation for outbursts of wild extrava-
gance.
81 understand that 'Bucky' Brown
has quit the game of golf"
What! 'Bucky' Brown? He used
to be SO fond of the game! Why on
earth did he stop playing?"
HE lost his golf ball.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Killed hy EIyina Splinter.

A curious death befell child at St
Die, France, the other day. A man
was cutting up tree trunks for firing
He was splitting some of the large
ones by boring hole. putting in lit
tie gunpowder, and exploding it. A
girl of eight watched him from be-
hind a first-floor window which closed.
Suddenly a trunk exploded, and a
splinter flew up, smashed through the
window, and pierced the child's heart.
She died Immediately.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
FAR BETTER THAN QUININE.

Elixir Babek cures malaria where
ouinine fails. and it can be taken with
impunity by old and young.
Having suffered from hilarious Fee
yer for several months, getting no rel1ef
from quinine and being completely brok-
en- down in health, elixir Babek effect
ed permanent cure."-William F: Mari.
Elixir Babek SO cents. all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from Kloczew-
ski & Co.. Washington. D. c.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Secure.

1t was the dead of night when all
good people are supposed to be In
bed and asleep.
John" whispered Mrs Caudle, I'm
sure there's a burglar at the front
door,"
"That's all right; he can't get in,"
replied John, sleepily. Il have the
latch key in my own pocket"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Improvement Noted.

do you think the great fortune you
have amassed makes the world bet
ter?'
"a man can speak only from person
al knowledge" replied Mr.. Dustin
Stax. II must say that since l amassed
fortune the world seems very much
better to me than it did before
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Take Photos of "suspects. ,

1t is said that the Bank of France
has an invisible studio in a gallery be-
hind the cashiers, so that at given
signal from one of them any suspect
e, customer can instantly have his
photograph taken without his knowl-
edge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

Who are the
ungodly? There
seems to be a
distinction b E.
tween them and
open sinners, be-
cause the same
verse says, that
walketh not in
the counsel of the
u n G o dly, nor
standeth in the
way of sinners"
This distinction
is not one that
has any bearing
on the day of
judgment, for all
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
When Woman Rules.

Mr.. Meekley-Then you would
have the word "obey" omitted from
the marriage service?
Miss Strongmind-Not at all; mere
ly transferred so that the man will
say 1t.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Suspicious.

Little Mrs. Colby would make fas-
cinating widow"
Yes, and l guess she thinks so too.
Maybe that is why she is always
making her rich old husband eat angel
food"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Irritating Skin Troubles,

so prevalent in summer, such al
hives, poison oak, chafing. sunburn,
eczema, ETC.. are quickly relieved when
Tyree's Antiseptic Powder is used.
Csc. at druggists or sample sent free
by ]. s. Tyree, Washington, D. C.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Ex+ra Quality

Carter-Tm sorry. to hear that poor
Tom is in such difficulties with his
creditors. l like Tom; he's a brick.
Conley-He is, and hard-pressed
brick at that.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Mrs. NewIywed's Mistake.

Grocer-Wouldn't you like some
horseradish?
Mrs Newlywed-Mercy, no! We
don't keep horse.-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Unique Laboratory Planned.

John D. Rockefeller, Jr is planning
the erection of a psychological labora-
tory, which will be one of the most re-
markable in the world. The purpose
Is to save girls from crime.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Cunning Tactics.

How on earth did you ever induce
that spinster to invest money in your
business"
told her it would give her great
chance to get sealed proposals"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Faulty Memory.

T am afraid l shall have to take
something for my memory"
do you mean to say that after six
months you have forgotten me?"
mo, have remembered you"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
Concealment-

Blessings often come disguised"
quoted the wise guy.
Yes, and when they do the dis
guise is so perfect we don't recognize
them" added the simple mug.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

Mrs. winsow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces iniammae
ton, allays pain cures wind collie &c bottleAN
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
For SIMMER HEADAcHEs

Hicks CAPUDINE Is the best remedy
no matter what causes them-whethsF
from the heat sitting in draughts, fever
ish condition. etc. 10c.. &c and 6oc per
bottle at medicine stores Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
and of Careless Attir.

"a writer says Bohemia Is state OF
mind"
1--WE always thought 1t was state
of deshabille."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15
EnoIish "Game,"

Game, according to English law. in
cludes hares, pheasants, cartridges,
grouse, black game, ptarmigan and
bustard
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

The foolishest book Is a kind of
leaky boat on a sea of wisdom; some
of the wisdom will get in anyway
Holmes.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

Some men could almost make liv-
Ing If they had self-supporting fami-
Hes
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

On the back of each seat OF new
London theater there will be coin in
the slot telephones to enable persons
with defective hearing to listen to
what is being said on the stage.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

Time is money, but it is easier to
make up lost time than lost money.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1913-08-15

Does your daughter study her
geography with avidity"
mo; she studies it with maps"