The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-07-14
|ABatch Of Smiles

a certain youth was about going out
to his first formal dinner party. His
mother said: Nov, don't forget your
manners. James; be sure to say some
thing complimentary when the food is
passed" He e~ndeavored to do so.
When butter was served he remarked
pleasantly. This Is pretty good but
ter, what there is Of it."
The remark a not we'll received:
he saw that he had made a mistake,
and he ~endeavored to correct It by
saying, And there's plenty Of It, such
as it is" -
1t was springer's afternoon OH, and
he thought he would take the chill
dren FOR a little outing.
MY DEAR he said. approaching his
to the zoo today"
why. Will, you promised to take
them to mothers"
"All right. II it's all the same to the
children"
One afternoon not long ago in the
vicinity Of Druid Hill Park in Balti-
more there might have been seen a,
young man industriously, pushing. up
and down a baby carriage. intently
reading a book the while.
Henry! Henry!" called a young wo-
man from the second story Of a nous.
opposite.
Henry heard not, but continued to
push the baby carriage and to read
his book.
In about an hour the cries for
Henry" were repeated.
well, what do you .want?" he de-
manded. rather impatiently.
Nothing. DEAR" was the irritating
WooranoA sSAvCnrt 70 {nfor~a 1~N,1 kAok
you've been wheeling Harriet's doll
all the afternoon. L think. it's time
for the baby to have a turn now"
Sammy was not prone to overexer.
ton in he classroom, therefore his
mother was both surprised and de-
lighted when he came home one loon
with the announcement. II got 100
this morning."
THAT'S lovely, Sammy" exclaimed
his proud mother. What was it imp
Fifty in reading and fifty in 'rith>
metic," vas Sammy's prompt reply.
The young minister lost his manu-
script one Sunday morning, so he
spoke out thus:i-
II am very sorry indeed to have to
inform o that I have-r-somehow
or other, mislaid my sermon this
1IlOTlllu6s ! lIuSL
to Providence for inspiration. To-
night I will come better prepared"
/. He was a man Of %convivial habits,
we'll known by his Christian name,
jamie: One dark night an %acquaint-
ance found jamie lying at the foot of
an outside stair.
"Is that you. Jamie?" he asked in
a voice Of the greatest a~stonishment.
. - 4kb- - " A~AIlAA TA~N> -
resigned tone.
Have you fa'en doom the starr"
"Aye!" said jamie. II fell doom,
but I was comm doom, whether or
moo"
Congressman James L. slayden Of
Texas told one at a recent banquet to
prove that occasionally you can't lose
the Riddles when 1t ONE to choosing
the wisest course.
Connected with a religious institu-
ton in q certain city, the congress-
Q said, there is a baseball team
composed Of 1~2-year-old youngsters.
Some time ago the team gotta chal-
lenge from the club Of a similar insti-
tuition and, wishing to encourage the
boys. the minister gave them IS. tell
Ing them to spend It for bats. balls,
gloves. or anything that would help
win tho game.
Come here a minute. Willie" said
ter went down to the ball field. 0lanc-
ing around he saw the same old para
phernalia., Not q single now article
was in sight.
Come here a minute. Willies." said
he. calling the captain. where are
you new bats. balls and gloves? 2"
I'VE haven't got any new bats. balls
and Stoves" said Willie. slancing
from the dominic to the opposing
team.
""You haven't" exclaimed the SUR
prised pastor. Didn't I give you IS to-
buy them
Eyes sir" replied Willie, "but you
thought best to with the game. 20 we
gave 1t to the umpire" \
a mother Just can't help intimatingl
hat her boys summer Job 10 that OIL
.-A - 49, = v L