New-York tribune., 1913-07-21
AS | WAS SAYING

mosouitoes he appeared singuary blessed br
Lovely 49,,
Whereas no, Physicians who have been do"h
him report tripping cold storage diseases "' 80
step-among others rheumatism. 30 there Sou 80 O.
No wonder an afrighted journalist Is asking ""''
are the perfect jobs|' -
Sounds quite a stcker yet, thanks TO our oo-
servant friends we can name one-paragraphins'
DELIGHTFUL they tell us. You light your pipe cuuue
down in the Siege Perlous, and prompt 10 secoiiu
comes inspiration, with bright ideas breaking ou' '
over YOU Before you know it seventeen spaiNIS
little paragraphs sit grnning affectionate gratitude
to the author of their being-and theh' hoei'S'
leisure what-ho for the Chautauquas!
Awfully Ike a Secretaryship of state this Joo'
With a difference though. Don't let them stun you
about Mr. Bryan's mad scamper among the Chau-
tauouas. 1t is no mere vacation fronc' no ineio
ducat grabbing adventure either NO. indeeuy' II
is grim political necessity.
Less than five months in office, and the poor soul
wades knee deep in "howlers' already-the anu
monarchy SIAM the California fasco, the notice 10
japan that we were holy to fight the grape juice
nrank the absences from Washington the dinner
nail pose the Mexican muddle, those comic oat'e-
shits a. S. s. Lovinglindness and the resO ana the
redoubled frvolities of THE Commoner.' SO some
thing had to be done.
Fortunately, Mr.. Bryan recalled no" Napoieoh
, managed day Bourrlenne relnhrheu' INV
hear smokers from the pee-pul." well. then' sdu
tho EMPEROR. give them sensation gid the dome
Of the Invalides."
Happy thought Those Of the Chautauquans are
not only more accessible but more Submissive
Many a woman" writes Mr.. Barry Pain, puts a
sight more brain work into choosing her hat thah she
ever puts into choosing her husband
Hence husbands. Lucky for us that the dear
hair brai IN
really? With and kind treatment nat may
last several seasons
'.Nellen-Goat" says a headline. and We seem to
remember a Mr. Ismay-Bruce lsmay wasn't u
Got involved somehow in the Titanic AFFAIR ana was
drubbed with considerable enthusiasm. Funny no"
irritable folks become when few Of them have been
killed, They forget their manners their morals
their sense OF fairness. Act as II they meant TO
scare somebody II this continues there VIII be less
Justice perhaps but more folks.
1t was a learned discourse that Of Mr.. Bullough's
on Herr Won Osten's educated horses at Eberfeld'
and we understand that the Society for Psychical
Research felt a good deal encouraged, for MI Bul-
Tough explained the Won Osten method, and II APP
pears that horse sense can be acquired
Now We intend no slight TO those captivating
steeds but we notice that while they possess rich
vocabulary nothing in Mr.. Buloughs paper credits
them with mental originality and independence
Whereas, did We not see Mildred the cultured mare!
We did.
ladies and gentlemen" said her guardian, "at
this point I will sit down and fold my arms and
Mildred will perform the marvellous feat Of thinking
for herscfr Magnificent, There was education for
you-the very summit and pinnacle Of intellectual
attainment
This was years ago, and We have noticed multi
tudes Of Mdreds thinking for themselves since then
hut Lot 10 UeYCp
ably!
'Tis time We told the sexton and the sexton tolled
the bell" and the chsel carved the epitaph, HE
facet Muckraking" For this gayest Of our Ameri-
can frivolities already lies a-dying.
1t was fine. lusty sport while it lasted, but
raked too reckessly and there was not muck enough
in the world to keep up the scare. See the poor
lonesome neglected vice sections Of the August
magazines, who reads them? Who cares?
Cheer up, brethren There new thrills now,
for the illustrators have foreseen the demise of
Undertaking and hastened To steal its mantle Won
der they never tried it before! Whereas 1t costs
time and effort to derive the pleasures of disgust
from a muckrake article an artist will give you the
same delightful misery at a glance
Bravo, How welcome the innovation, Boldly
we declare that nothing in years has ucked us
from the OF head TO the soles of our feet
less perceptiby.
We hear that when the late Henri Rochefort was
in England through wish Of his own he refused
TO learn English, for Victor Hugo had said II avoid
English I never read or speak a word Of II.
must protect fny style"
We think however that Victor was not in par
ticularly good voice that day He displayed what
10 our taste, was "A far more endearng egotism
when he entertained group of celebrities at dinner
one evening during the Siege Of Paris. What they
ate deponent saith not-roast cab horse doubt.
possibly a snake two from the Jardin des Pantes
but the conversation delicious.
Listen, messieurs" said Hugo. II have n plan to
save Paris L. Victor Hugo. will put my uni
form and go out alone against the enemy. | shall
be shot. But when the Germans that they have
killed Victor Hugo it will be the end Of the siege"
Then it was that the ever tactfu Professor Lam
guedepoivre cut In with For you" r. l.. H.