The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-12-13

Post.
TINE scene is the opera house and the
time is the gala night of nights.
L The beauty and chivalry of the
communicated some who are not such
striking beauties-have assembled to do
honor to these young men and women
who stand upon the threshold, ready to
step forth into the world and work large
number of needed reforms that have been
clamoring for attention for quite some
time.
The decorations are indeed elaborate
Sc many potted plants have not been as
sembled in one place since the president
of the First National bank died. In the
wings, at each side, is a perfect riot OF
asparagus ferns, interspersed with rub
ber plants. There is a piano, with its
nerves tense and its teeth set, grimly
awaiting the torture that is to come.
The scenery is what is known technically
as the garden set, the limned beauties of
the bacl1drop being familiar to all who
have ever patronized the sumner stock
company. tf 9ss
Throughout the audience fans flutter
feverishly, for it is a warm night 1t
must be warm night to insure that a
commencement will pass off successfully;
then it,not only passes off-it rolls Off
Wherever you look you see fair women
with new frocks on and brave men with
the backs of their necks shaved.
On the stage, in serried ranks, are two
impressive semicircles. In the front row
hab Il, IL.
current year, flanked at it's two ends by
youths ordinarily known to the populace
as Bub Wallace and that dad-blamed
Smalley kid; but on this occasion ele-
waited to the dignity Of having their mid
die names exposed in print DOR the first
and last time in their lives.
Except that these two young gentlemen
are wearing a set, strained expression of
countenance, and are whiting down their
collars, and do not know what to do with
their extra hands and feet and are white
about the gills, and are staring straight
ahead with a wild, hunted look out OF
the eyes, both of them are perfectly calm,
cool and collected. Between them sit the
young lady graduates in fiuttering, filmy
white. About every other one is clutch
ing mass of deathless English prose
carefully rolled up and tied with blue
ribbon to keep the contents from escaping
and stunning the audience ahead of time
1t is easy for the practiced eye to pick
out the mother of each fair young grad
uate-the mother being the lady who.
when her own child rises to perform, quits
sniffling audiby and begins beaming audi
bly,.
Back of the graduates we see another
semicircle, made up of members of the
school board. the high school superintend-
ent in black alpaca coat and free
state of nettle rash, and the pastor of the
Congregational church, who will rise anon
and deliver an invocation requiring Is min
utes to pass a given point
The leading members of the board oc-
cupy the end seats. One is the sporting
dentist-every town of 10000 or even less
has within it's confines at least one spors-'
ing dentist and two sporting barbers--and
the other is human safety clutch, en-
gagged in the private banking and loan
business, and generally known as Judge
Somebody, because he once served as
foreman of coroner's jury. He still has
the first scent piece he ever owned-and
if they ever operate on him they will find
it. The doc is on the board for the ex-
citement and the judge for no reason at
all, so far as anyone can discover
The other members of Sthe board are
a contracting carpenter representing the
great common people of the Second ward;
square jawed veteran with habit or
working the battle of Stones River into
every conversation, and two walking gen
tlemen, whose activity in educational
lines is confined to voting the same way
the judge does. s.
Presently the festivities of the festal
night are appropriately launched. In q
body the class advances toward the foot
lights and sings a song replete with ref
erence to the birds being in the trees and
the stars being in the Skies and the night
wind blowing free-and other natural
phenomena that have hitherto escaped
notice. Amid peals of laughter the class
tistorian-born humorist IL ever there
was one-predicts all sorts of ridiculous
careers for her mates; but it is noted tha t
her fond parents peal more readily than
the others present.
The class essayist, WHO has knobby
forehead and spectacles extending back
over the ears, wins plaudits by her mas
terly command of the Latin language. 1t
is generally felt that this Information
will come in very handy tUo weeks hence,