davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
He Immediately insisted upon being the life of the party"

he'd do the trick over again if
someone would lend him hat,
but nothing doing. We all pre-
ferred our eggs boiled.
Then we had Claribel Mont
rose in select recitations. She
was all the money.
Claribel grabbed "The Wreck
of the Hesperus" between her
pearly teeth and shook it to
death. Then she got half
nelson on Poe's Raven" and put
it out of business.
Next she tried an imitation Of
the balcony scene from Romeo
and juliet" If Juliet talked
like that dame did, no wonder
she took poison.
Then Claribel let down her
back hair and started in to give
us a mad scene-and it was, Ev-
erybody in the room got mad.
When peace was finally re-
stored Mrs. rockingham in
formed us that the rest of the
paid talent had disappointed
her and she'd have to depend on
the volunteers. Then she whis-
pered to Miss Gladiola Hunger
schnitz, whereupon that young
lady giggled her way over to the
piano and began to knock it's
teeth out.
The way Gladiola went after
one Of Beethoven's sonatas and
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07

ME, but I'm afraid if Mr.. Tosti
ever heard her sing his Good
by" he would say, .''The same
to you, and here's your hat"
Before Jennie married and
moved west | remember she had
a very pretty mezzo-concertina
voice, but she's been SO long
away helping Stub Wilson to
make Milwaukee famous that
nowadays her top notes sound
like cuckoo clock after it's been
up all night.
I suppose it's wrong for me
to pull this about your own flesh
and blood, but when a married
woman with six fine children,
one of them at Yale, walks side
ways up to a piano and begins to
squeak, "Goodby, summer!
Goodby, summer!" just as if
she were calling the dachshund
in to dinner, l think it's time she
declined the nomination.
Then Bud Hawley, after fig
uring it all out that there was
no chance of his getting arrest
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07

Omar Khayyam with the grape,
but not finding any, he began
to recite Down in the Lehigh
valley me and my people grew !;
| was a blacksmith, Cap'n; yes,
and a good one, too. Let me sit
down a minute; a stones got
into my shoe"
But it wasn't stone, and it
didn't get into his shoe. 1t was
a potato salad and it got into
his face when the Irish cook
threw it at him for interfering
with her work.
I'm discouraged" murmured
Uncle Heck, and presently he
was sleeping with magnificent
noises on the sofa in the library.
There were present at the bat
tie in the drawing room Uncle
Peter Grant and Aunt Martha,
Hep Hardy and his diamond
shirt studs, Bunch Jefferson and
his wife, Alice; Bud Hawley and
his second wife; Phil Merton
and his third wife; Dave Mason
and his stationary wife, Stub
Wilson and his wife, Jennie, who
is Peaches's sister, and a few
others who asked to have their
names omitted.
The mad revels were inaugu-
rated by the Pippin brothers,
who attempted to drag some
grouchy music out of guitars
that didn't want to give up. The
Pippin brothers part their hair
in the middle and always do the
march from "The Babes in Toy
land" on their mandolins as an
encore.
If Victor Herbert ever catch
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
The Confessions of Arsene Lubin.
CONTINUED from Preceding Page.)

tenanced, almost abashed. He no
longer thought of laughing. A feeling
of respect, mingled with remorse and
kindness, overcame him.
"Why are you saving met" he whis-
pered.
You are my husband, -
He protested;
title. The law will never recognize
my marriage
"My father does not want a scan
dal,H - she said,
"Just SO" he replied, sharply, "just
80, | foresaw that; and that was why
! had your cousin d 'Emboiso near at
hand, Once | disappear, he becomes
your husband. He is the man you
have married in the eyes Of men,
"You are the man ! have married in
the eyes of the church,"
''The churchl The church, There
are means OF arranging matters with
be annulled.U -
con what pretext that We can ad
mit9"
He remained silent, thinking over all
those points which he had not consid.
cred, all those points which were triv-
serious for her, and he repeated several
times;
''This is terrible =. this is terri
bic q. ! should have anticipated"
And, suddenly, seized with an idea,
he clappcd his hands and cried:
"There. ] have i'll | IN hand in
glove with one OF the chief figures at
the Vatican. The Pope never refuses
me anything, [ shall obtain an nu
dience and / have no doubt that the
Holy Father, moved by my cntreat-
les -
His plan was so humorous and his
delight so artless that Angeligue could
not help smiling; and she said:
81 am your wife in the eyes of
God"
She gavo him look that showed
neither scorn nor animosIty, nor even
anger; and he realized that she omit
ted TO see in him the outlaw and the
evil.doer and remembered only the man
who was her husband and to whom the
priest had bound her until the hour of
death
He took a step toward her and OBJ
served her more attentivcly. She did
not lower her owes at first. But she
blnshed. And never had he seen so
pathetic q face. marked with such
modesty and such dignity. He said to
her. as on that first evening in Paris:
''Oh, your eyes the calm and
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07

When Imogene sings she
makes faces at herself. When
she needs a high note she goes
after it like a hen after a lady
bug. Imogene sang "Sleep,
Sweetly Sleep" and then kept
us awake with her voice.
Then we had Rufus Kellar
Smith, the parlor prestidigita-
tor. Rufus was bad boy.
He cooked an omelet in a
silk hat and when he handed the
hat back to Hep Hardy two
poached eggs fell out and cud-
died up in Hep's hair.
Rufus apologized and said
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
This excitement was followed

This excitement was followed
by another catastrophe named
Minnehaha Jones, who picked
up couple of soprano songs and
screeched them at us.
Minnehaha is one Of those
fearless singers who vocalize
without a safety valve. She al
ways keeps her eyes closed, so
she can't tell just when her au-
dience gets up and leaves the
room.
The next treat was mixed
duet on the flute and trombone
between Clarence Smith and
Lancelot Diffenberger, with a
violin obligato on the side by
Hector Tompkins.
Never before have I seen mu-
sic so roughly handled.
1t looked like a walk-over for
Clarence, but in the fifth round
he blew a couple of green notes
and Lancelot got the decision.
Then, for a consolation prize
Hector led out in the middle of
the room, where he assassinated
MaScapni's "Cavalleria Rustica-
ma" so thoroughly that it will
never be able to enter a fifty
cent table d'hote restaurant
again.
Almost before the audience
had time to recover Peaches's
sister, Jennie, was coaXed to
sing Tosti's "Good-by."
I'm very fond of sister Jen-
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07

sadness of your eyes . the beauty
OF your eyes!
She dropped her head and stammered:
20 away go,
In the presence OF her confusion. he
received a quick intuition of the
deeper feelings that stirred her, un-
known to herself. TO that spinster soul,
of which he recognized the romantic
power of Imagination, the unsatished
yearnings, the poring over old-world
books, he suddenly represented, In that
exceptional moment aud in consequence
of the unconventional circumstances Of
their meetings. somebody special, a BY
ronic hero, a chivalrous brigand OF ro-
nance. One evening, in spite Of all
obstacles, he, tho world-famed adven.
turer, already ennobled in song and
story and exalted by his own audacity,
had come to her and slipped the magic
ring upon her finger: mystic and
passionate betrothal, as in the days OF
the Corsair and Hermann Greatly
moved and touched, he was on the
verge of giving way to an enthusiastic
impulse and cxclaiming:
"Let us go away together! -,
Let US fly! :. You are my BRIDE
my wife Share my dan
gers, my sorrows and my joys
1t will be strange and vigorous,
proud and magnificent life ~
But An"elique s eyes were raised to
his again: and they were so pure and
noble that he blushed in his turn.
This was not the woman to whom such
words could be addressed.
lie whispered:
"Forgive me | am contempt
ible wretch, have wrecked your
"No,' she replied, softly . On the
contrary, you have shown me where my
real life lies
He was about to ask her to explain.
But she had opened the door and was
pointing tho way to him. Nothing
more could be spoken between them, He
went out without a word, bowling very
low as he passed.
A month later, Angelique de Sarzeau-
Vendome, Princesse de Bourbon
Conde, lawful wife Of Arsene Lupin,
took the veil aud. under the name of
Sister Marie -Auguste, buried herself
within the walls of the Visitation con-
vent
On the dav of the ceremony, tho
mother superior of the convent received
n heavy sealed envelope containing a
letter with the following words;
"For Sister Marie Auguste poor"
Inclosed with tho letter were fivo
hundred banllnotes Of thousand francs
each.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
By Geo. v. Hobart

| ed, sat down on the piano stool
and made a few sad remarks,
which in their original state
form the basis Of Scotch bal
lad called 'Loch Lomond."
Buds system of speaking the
English language is to say with
his voice as, much of word as
he can remember and then fin
ish the rest of it with his hands.
Imagine what Bud would do
to a song with an oatmeal foun-
dation like 'Loch Lomond."
When Bud barked out the first
few bars, which say "By yon
bonnie bank and by yon bonnie
brae," everybody within hearing
would have cried with joy if the
piano had fallen over on him and
fattened his equator.
And when he reached the plot
of the piece, where it says,
'fYou take the high road and
III take the low road" Uncle
Peter took drink, Phil Merton
took the same, Stub took an
oath and l took a walk.
And all the while Buds wife
sat there, with the glad and
winning smile of a swordfish on
her face, listening with heart
full of pride while her crime
laden husband chased that help
less song all over the parlor, and
finally left it unconscious under
the sofa.
At that point Hep Hardy got
up and volunteered to tell some
funny stories and this gave us
all good excuse to put on our
overshoes and say Good Night"
. to our hostess without offend
, ing anybody.
Hep Hardy and his funny
stories are always used to close
the show.
John" said Peaches after we
got home, 81 want to give a
musicale. May II"
Certainly, old girl" l an
swered. We'll give one in the
nearest moving-picture theater.
If we don't like the show all we
, have to do is to close our eyes
F and thank our lucky stars
! there's nothing to listen to-"
:, ooh! aren't you hateful" she
pouted.
Maybe / am, at that.
Copyright. 1913. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate)
| (All dramatic and stage rights reserved
by George V, Hobart)
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
slapped it's ears was pitiful.

Gladiola learned to injure a
piano at a conservatory of mu-
sic. She can take a Hungarian
rhapsody and turn it into a gou-
lash in about SO bars.
At the finish of the sonata we
all applauded Gladiola just as
loudly as we could, in the hope
that she would faint with sur
prise and stop playing, but no
such luck.
She tied a couple of chords
together and swung that piano
like pair of Indian clubs.
First she did "My Old Ken
lucky Home" with variations,
until everybody who had a
home began to weep for fear it
might get to be like her Ken
lucky home.
The variations were where
she made a mistake and struck
the right note.
! Then Gladiola moved up to
the squeaky end Of the piano
and gave an imitation of a
Swiss music box.
1t sounded to me like Swiss
cheese.
Presently Gladiola ran out of
raw material and subsidized,
while we all applauded her with
our fingers crossed, and two
very thoughtful ladies began to
talk fast to Gladiola so as to
take her mind off the piano.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07

es them there'll be a couple of
shine chord-chokers away to the
bad.
When the Pippin brothers
took a bow and backed off into
a vase of flowers we were all
invited to listen to a soprano
solo by Miss Imogene Glassface.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-12-07
John Henry Has a Musical
Evening.

IN GfClllAl&.
- AYl did you ever stray
~ away from home of an
- evening and go to one of
4 hose parlor riots?
III Friend wife called it a musi-
cale, but to me it looked more
gshike a session of the Mexican
leongress in a boiler factory.
al They pulled it off at Mrs. Lu-
shlla Frothingham's, over on the
Drive.
III | like Luella and I like her
husband, Jack rockingham, so
sft's no secret conclave Of the
aAnvil association when | whis-
her them wise that the next
Skme they give a musical even
ing my address is Forest ave-
hue, corner of Foliage street, in
Ehe woods.
= The Frothinghams are nice
ceople and old friends and they
Nave more money than some
Lolks have hay, but that doesn't
! i've them a license to spoil one
!. |of my perfectly good evenings
by sprinkling a lot of canned
music and fricasseed recitations
& III over it.
!, The Frothinghams have a
skeleton in their closet. Its name
! IS Uncle Heck and he weighs
q z2S7-not bad for a skeleton.
u Uncle Heck is,a Joe Morgan. His
/, sole ambition in life is to become
y POLITELY picked and fall asleep
draped over a gold chair in the
waving. room when there's
Hgh-class company present.
- For that reason the Frothing-
bams on state occasions put the
Askids under Uncle Heck and run
/ him off stage till after the final
turtain.
81 On some occasions Uncle Heck
breaks through the bars and
afashes into the scene of refine
ment with merry quip and jest
10 the confusion Of his relatives
{" md the ill-concealed amusement
81 their guests.
"a This was one of those occa-
~ Ions.
Early in the evening Jack
!, polk Uncle Heck to his room,
~ pt him in front Of a quart of
. Vlntage and left the old geezer
here TO slosh around in the
dfuh until sleep claimed him for
3 IS own.
But before the wine was gone
iia )ncle Heck put on the gloves
y : ith Morpheus, got the decision,
y nparched down stairs and into
he drawing room, where he i'm
dgpediately insisted upon being
: he life Of the party,
rS Uncle Heck moved and sec
Dnded that he sing the swan
iw.p .png from "Lohengrin," but his
NJ Nea Of q swan was so much
'5ke a turkey gobbler that low
pg friends slipped him the moe
d Rslns and elbowed him out of
~ ~ be room,
ssad Then he went out in the but
% RS pantry, hoping to do an
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
Woodward & Lothrop.

Census Bureau yesterday sent to E.
Dana Durand, former director. a hand
some silver tea and coffee set Of five
pieces.
Mr.. Durand retired as head of the
Census Bureau the first of July. being
succeeded by William ]. Harris, of
Georgia. Beginning with the fall term
C: the University of Minnesota, Mr.. Du-
rand will teach political economy and
other studies there. The silver service
was sent to him at Frankfort, Mich,
where he is spending the summer with
his wife
With the gift was sent a letter Of
appreciation. reading as follows:
''The officials and employees Of the
Bureau of the Census. with whom you
were associr cd as director from 1909 to
1918. request your acceptance of the &C.
comparing tea and coffee service as q
token o. their appreciation Of your work
as -ector and Of your sterling qualities
as man. Your consideration, modera-
ton, and kindness of heart endeared
you to those with whom you came in
contact, and, while expressing our re-
grit at your departure, We wish you
God-speed and the highest measure of
success and happiness to you and yours
in the future" .
w. NJ. Stewart, chief statistician Of the
manufacturers division: ]. A. Hill,
special agent of the division Of revision
and results, and Clifford Hastings, chief
clerk Of the bureau, composed the COM
mite that arranged the testimonial.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
(DOINGS OF SOCIETY IN AND AROUND WASHINGTON

and Mrs. Grant. Capt Grant who ID
now stationed on the Texas frontier. viii
leave in q short time for his new post At
Fort Leavenwurth, Kans.. where he will
be Joined by Mrs. Grant In the early fall.
The former Secretary Of State and Mrs.
Philander c. Knox are touring the White
Mountain regions by motor. They will
return to Valley Forge for the early fail.
and will come to Washington In the early
winter for the season.
Lieut. Kenneth Palmer has gone to Bar
Harbor, where his mother and sister.
Mrs. Aulick Palmer and Miss Palmer.
are occupying the Lilac Cottage.
Capt. T. A. Baldwin, u. 8. A., and Mrs.
Baldwin are now at the Maplehurst, Tar
ragansett Pier. where they will spend the
remainder Of the season.
Miss Marjorie Edison Is the guest of
her brother-in-law and sister. Capt. John
w. McKie, u. g. A., and Mrs. McKie. at
Fort Hamilton, N. Y. Miss Edison spent
the winter In Manila with her brother
in-Iaw and sister. Maj. Schulz. U. s. A..
and Mrs. Schulz.
Miss Florence T. Finch Is guest of
Mrs. William Cumming Story At her Sum-
mer home in Greenwich. Conn.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
SOLDIERS DISPERSE
COPPER MINE GANGS
Men We Tesrsrized Seetisa Sinel
Strike Taken b Jail-T@1iee
Fiaht 10 Take Leads.

Calumet. Mich, July 3l-A roundup Of
leaders Of gangs which have terrorised
this section Of the copper country since
the opening Of the strike Of lA0oo miners
was completed today by the authorities.
aided by soldiers. Twenty-one arrests
were made and more are anticipated
Louis Solder. alleged leader Of the
gang which slugged Gust Olson, . miner.
and others. was arrested today. follow
ing . desperate battle. He was found
at his home by Under Sheriff Heikkila.
Solder was taken by Heiklkila. with the
assistance Of four deputies and two
squads Of soldiers Solder fred point
blank at the officer. while his wife and
several men attacked the ofncsrs with
boiling water and threw pepper IN their
eyes. A mob of 200 strikers surrounded
the Under Sheriff and his prisoners after
they left Soldiers home and attempted
to seize Solder. The soldiers kept the
crowd back with the aid Of bayonets.
That one of the largest producing COP
per companies in the West ID aiding the
strikers against the local companies was
the REPORT here this afternoon. The Lake
Superior Copper Companies sell copper In
competition with the Western metal. and
IL the strikers gain their demands. the
cost of producing the metal In this dis
trict will be increased.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
Friday Specials in
Boys Summer Apparel

A splendid assortment of
Boys Atwood Double-breasted
Knickerbocker Suits, in plain
grays and tans. Sizes 9, II, II,
IA, Is, 16, and II. Reduced
practically one-half their for
mer price.
1896 each. Were S. and Sc.
Boys Russian and Sailor
Blouse Suits, in serviceable pat
terms; full-cut, well-made gar
ments of materials that will
launder well. Russian Blouse
Suits in sizes 215 to Z; Sailor
Blouse Suits, in sizes 5 to 10.
Special price, Csc each.
Were $1.25 and $3.50.
Boys Golf Caps. in grays and
tans. Full cut. well shaped caps.
In sizes 3-S to 6 SIS.
Special price. 15c each. Were soc.
Four-in-hand Ties, in various
shades. 2 for 25c. Were csc each.
Boys Straw Hats. in assorted
shapes and styles: all sizes.
Special price, CSC each. Were SOC
and 81
Third noor-F 81.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
Friday Special in
Wolfe Flouncing.

Another small lot of the As
inch Wolfe Flouncing which has
met with so great favor in these
Friday sales. These are all
white, in splendid quality, and
heavily embroidered in variety
of designs. An exceptional value.
Special price, $1.00 yard.
We also offer the remaining lot
of Ratine Robe Patterns. in violet.
black and white. and pink and
blue, at especially low price for
clearance.
Choice, $500 the pattern.
Main floor, G St.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01

instonians spending the summer there
are Mr.. and Mrs. e. O. Hooper. Mr.. and
Mrs. Aaron Fench, Miss Isabel Carpen-
ter, Miss q. McCracken. and Mrs. x.
H. Golf.
Paymaster General and Mrs. Cowie.
have gone to Blue Ridge Summit for
the month Of August.
Mrs. F. p. White and her son. Clarke
White, Of Spokane, WASH. left for
Florida yesterday after q ten days visit
to their cousin. Mrs. ]. H. Entwisle Of
Capitol Hill
DR.. and Mrs. o. A. M. McKinnie and
their young SON Wyatt McKinnie. left
Washington yesterday for a months
visit along the Massachusetts coast
Mrs. Annie F. Breniser, Of Johns
town, Pa. is the guest of Representa-
tive and Mrs. Anderson II. Walters at
Congress Hall.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01

In large variety of finishes,
colors and styles of buckles. All
in perfect condition, being the
selling agents samples of a lead
ing manufacturer who regularly
favors us with the disposal of
them. Only size 80, and to any
man who requires this size the
savings are most exceptional.
Divided into lots as follows:
soc each. Values up to s1.oo.
CSC each. Values up to $3.50.
Sc each. Values up to 500.
s.15 each. Values up to $50.
Main floor. Mems Building.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
FIRE DRILLS COMPULSORY.
New York Board Makes Evasion
PunlsInbIe by imprisonment.

New York. July S1.-Owners and lessees
OF factories in this city are being noti-
fed by Fire Commissioner Johnson to
hold fire drills monthly or be prepares
to pay the penalty Of $500 fine or six
months in Jail and a civil penalty Of 80
prescribed by law.
A form of fire drill to be followed AZ
companies each notice. Since the Bling
hamton fire, Chief Guerin and a squad
of men from the Bureau Of Fire Pre-
yention have been making a special In
vestigation OF factories with regard to
FIRE drills. Many violations Of the law
were found.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
Friday Special in
Women's Black Lisle Hose.

Women's Black Isle Hose, in
a desirable light weight; sizes
81 to 10. Subject to manufac-
turer's imperfections, which is
the reason for the extremely low
marking.
Special price, tic pair. Three
pairs for Soc. +.
And these remnants:
IS pairs women's Navy and Copenhagen Blre
Lisie Hose. colored stripe lace ankle and drop
stitch; sizes 81. . and 81; &c pair. Were &c.
Is pairs Misses Lightweight Plain Black
Lisle Hese. In sizes and n. &c pair. We're
5c
Main fOor-G st.
The Washington herald., 1913-08-01
WILL TAKE NO PART IN FAIR,
England Declines to Participate in
Frisco Expedition.

London, July 3l.-The foreign ONCE to-
day announced that England would not
participate in the Panama Exposition
In San Francisco in 1915. There is con-
siderable mystery in diplomatic circles
over Engiand's refusal but outside OF
the bare announcement made by the
issued.
1t is generally believed. however, that
England adopted this attitude because
she still resents the treatment accorded
her by the United States in the Panama
tolls controversy.