davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
EXAMINATION FOR APPOINT
MENT OF CANDIDATES TO
UNITEDSTATES NAVAL
ACADEMY

United States Senator Francis G..
Newlands has requested President J.
F.. Stubs of the University of Neva-
da to hold a competitive examination
for the purpose of selecting a candi-
date to fill the vacancy which will ex-
sist from this state, June next, at the
United States Naval Academy, An
napolis, Maryland.
The examination will be held at the
University of Nevada, November !,
1913. Each competitor must be a cit
izen of the State must be between the
ages OF 10 and Fl years, physically
sound; and will be required to pass
an examination in reading. writing,
spelling grammar, geography, United
States History, worlds history. arith-
metic, ALGEBRA and plane geometry.
Further information may be OBJ
tanned from Captain H l.. Apple
white, u. S. Army, retired, University
of Nevada, Reno.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
P|TTMAN
THE KEY

The following is taken from the
Washington Herald:
Our versatile artist should have
depicted the latest addition to The
Big Sticks notable Hall of Fame III
his iavorite pastime skit-"Temper-
ing the Shorn Lamb TO the Under
wood Tariff Bill" For this Key Pitt.
man, United States Senator from Ne
vada-th' same. no less, as Misther
Dooley wud say.
Pitman, hardening his heart agains,
the sobs and lamentations Of Senator
Newlands and the five or six wool
growers in Nevada. had the TRINITY
to tell the United States Senate that
he believed that it would be a warm
winter. and he didn't think the sheep
Of Nevada needed so much protec-
ton, anyhow. Whereupon Mr.. New
lands, bravely sopping the tears from
his eyes and the sob from his voice
declared that his colleague seemed
to be the Key to the situation.
Great applause from the White
House.)
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
BIGGEST
LOBSTER
LIVING
CONTRARY TO GENERAL Be
LIEF, THEY HAVE THEM
IN NEW YORK ALSO

NEW YORK. Sept. 27.-The
grandfather Of tall the Holsters who
ever lobbed around New York or its
contiguous natatOry streams, ha,
made his appearance on Broadway,
He is playing three bills a day on the
stage of the Aquarium at the foot OF
that street. where Holsters have long
been the backbone of the community.
This in the crustacean
midst weighs thirty-hve pounds, a
pound more than the previous holder
of the lobster belt. He is sixteen
inches around the body and his left
claw is nineteen inches long. Not a
blemish mars his beauty: both his
claws are full OF teeth, and his side
issue legs are all present.
But do not be frivolous when you
meet him. He is no chicken. no pal
vent in the ways of lobsterdom. His
age is set down by the lobster tenders
at the Aquarium as something more
titan fifty. Barnacles have been born
grown to maturity. passed into fee
bic old age and died on his shell, yet
he is in the full v,gor of lobsterhood.
The titleholder was taken into cap
tlvity by James T. Smith, IN angler
from Fulton Market. who was trawl-
irg near Scotland Lightship.
\. B.-The lobster is green, not
red.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

timonial for the benefit of other suffer-
ing women. Miss ANNA BENDER, st,
James, Missouri.
Another Case.
Dixon, Iowa.-"I have been taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound for some time and it has done me
much good. My back troubled me very
much. 1t seemed weak. l had much
pain and l was not as regular as l should
nave been. The Compound has cured
these troubles and l recommend it to all
my friends. Mrs. BERTHA DIERKsEN,
Box 1O2, Dixon, Iowa.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia f. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound will help you, write
to Lydia Ell inkham MedicineCO.
(cOnfidentiaD Lynn Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

The Women of Woodcraft will give
a Halloween dance on the evening
OF October 31st. Most excellent mu-
sic will be furnished and the public is
extended a most cordial invitation to
be present. Details to be announced
later. S24-w
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
TOOK IN FIGHT LAST NIGHT

game in this city took in the fight at
Moana Springs last night and wit
messed the very best scraps pulled
off hereabouts in many days. In the
main bout of the evening Manteil
held Taylor to a draw and the de
cision seemed to meet with popular
favor.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

and con-
slant backache. l
took Lydia E. PiAk-
hams Vegeta
Compound and used
the Sanative Wash
and l am relieved of
all my troubles and
am in perfect health.
] shall recommend
your medicine to all
my friends and you
--..lls-l xl.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
A DISMISS CASE

The District Attorney of Sacra-
mento has. declared that in his opin-
ion Marsha WARRINGTON and Lola
Norris, the two hayward Girls who
made the mistake OF crossing the Cal
%ifornia line with Diggs and Caininet-
ii, have been sufficiently punished for
their share in the crime and will
for the dismissal o itheir cases.
The girls. who are equally guilty
with the boys are merely given a lee
ture while their consorts get a term
i'll prison. That looks like justice
with a vengeance.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
BACKACHE
4 SYMPTOM
Of More Serious Illness Ap.
preaching. Mrs. Ben
der's Case.

Backache is a symptom Of organic
weakness or arrangement. If you have
backache don't neglect it. To get per
manent relief you must reach the root
of the trouble. Read about Mrs. Ben
der's experience.
st. James, Mo. about a year ago
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

$65.00 Monthly-Lady Or gentle
man wanted as information report.
err, No canvassing. Spare time
Enclose stamp. National realty
information bureau, file 23S, draw
or 1869, Los Angeles. California.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
SIDEBOARD FOR SALE

| am leaving the city and am going
to sell for thirty dollars to the first
person calling on. me, a magnificent
sideboard that is easily worth one
hundred and twenty-five dollars.
MURRAY DUNHAM
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
ANNE RUNNER MARRIED

NEW LONDON, Conn, Sept. -.
Over a thousand invitations were
issued for the wedding Of Anne Bun
ner and Winslow Brewster Ingham
which was celebrated in the Pequoit
chapel to-day. The bride is the
daughter of the late editor OF Puck
Mr.. Ingham is a member OF the New
Jersey State Tariff Commission.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Mr.. and Mrs. r. w. Sampson CAN
ME Louise Ellis) are sailing to-day
on the Campania from Liverpool.
They will arrive in New York about
the rst OF October after an absence
Of fifteen months. Their Carson
friends will shortly welcome them to
their winter home.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
Our New Fall and Winter Suits
ClOakS and Hats Have Arrived

PRICES TALK, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE QUALITY IS
BETTER THAN THAT OF ANY COMPETITOR IN NEVADA
OR THE EXTREME WESTERN STATES.
OUR BUYER is ON THE GROUND CONTINUALLY IN
NEW YORK CITY AND CHICAGO. WE BUY IN SMALL
LOTS BUT HAVE SIX SWATIICES OR SAMPLES AND
CAN SUPPLY ANY SUIT. CLOAK OR DRESS BY MEASURE
IN FOUR DAYS FROM CHICAGO OR SEVEN DAYS FROM
NEW YORK, BY TELEGRAPHING ONE WAY. WE DEFY
COMPETITION.
OVERWHELMING A REM ARK BY A LADY IN FRONT OF
OUR WINDOWS, THAT THEY LOOKED so ATTRACTIVE
SHE WAS AFRAID TO ENTER, FOR FEAR WE WERE
HIGH PRICED IT is JUST THE OPPOSITE; WE ARE
THE LOWEST PRICED HOUSE IN THE WEST. CON-
PARISON. PRICES AND QUALITY WILL CONVINCE YOU.
AS SOON AS OUR CAPITAL is LARGER AND SUFFI-
GENT STOCK is SOLD, WE WILL ADD A COMPLETE
LINE OF DRESS GOODS (BY THE YARD AND EVERY
THING CARRIED BY A COMPLETE UP-TO-DATE DRY
GOODS STORE.
WHY SEND. OR GO TO SAN FRANCISCO, CHICAGO,
OR NEW YORK FOR A READY TO WEAR CUSTOM MADE
SUIT OR GOWN WHEN WE CAN GIVE YOU BETTER AT
LESS PRICE. IT IS WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR; WE REP
RESENT TWO OF THE VERY BEST HOUSES IN THE
UNITED STATES. WHY NOT KEEP THIS MONEY IN CIR
CULATION IN NEVADA? COMPARISON OF OUR GOODS
AND PRICES WILL CONVINCE YOU.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
CHURCH
SERVICES
M. E. CHURCH

Sunday School at ID a. m.
Preaching by the Pastor, II a. m.
Epworth League, $50 p. m.
Preaching by the pastor at 7:3O.
All are most cordially invited ans,
presence is always appreciated
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

the morning train for her home III
E1ko.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

The Moffat-Rickey Company ship
ped five hundred head OF steers from
its Mono County ranges to San
Francisco this week.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Deputy United States Marshal
Hawkins came in from several days
at the fair and his home this morning.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

ture on the morning train for Carson
Valley points.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

f, II. Read was among the motor
passengers from Reno to-day.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Brs. B. F. Nesmith, Mrs. c. r.
Lewis and Mrs. Albert Dixon and
children, have returned from Rich
vale, Cal, where they have been the
Guests OF Mr.. and Mrs. George w.
Thiele for the past week. They are
delighted with the country and ii:
beautiful rice fields.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Cardinal were
den t o Reno last evening.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Ira Winters and George Gates
came in this afternoon looking none
the worse for wear after a. visit TO the
state fair.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

Mrs. Tranter was a departure fo
Reno this morning.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27

ID. w. German, representing the
Pacific Metal Works of San Fran
cisco, is interviewing metal users in
this city to-day.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

Sunday School at 10 a. m.
Christian Endeavor at go p. NJ.
Morning Service at II a. m.
Evening service at I:3O.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
Get a Good Garment

In fact we get the very best! 1t costs
no more than a cheaper-made article, and
the good garment will give you s%atisfac-
tory service.
Exclusive agents for the Palmer Gar
ments," Fall and Winter l9l3-l9l4.
We have an exceptionally attractive line
and want you to see it. You'll discover
values you'll like, and the styles are sure
to please.
Merchandise shipped everywhere up to
20 lbs. free anywhere i'll u. 5. Give
bank, store or friend references; ll9 North
Virginia street.
Send check, draft, +. O. or express order
or stamps.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
Marie B0nfils, Inc.
RENO, NEVADA
The New Shop for Womne

Save yourself time, trouble and worry;
use our mail order department.
Ours is a popular priced line. from SIS
to $50. yet we are to be exclusive agents
for Jonasson & Co. suits and gowns, but
shall carry but few in stock as they are so
expcnsive-onc of the most exclusive lines
in America.
Our capital is $4,000, of which a small
portion is for sale. 1t can be made to pay
from 10 per cent to Is per cent dividends,
and save 10 per cent to stockholders on all
purchases.
Many thanks for coupons and subscrip-
tons received. It's to be the peoples car
if | win. Am saving subscriptions.
NJ. B..
Send for catalogue, measurement blank
and samples. Satisfaction guaranteed or
money refunded as cheerfully as accepted.
Carson City daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1907-1930, 1913-09-27
Christian Science

The regular meetig of the Chris
tan Science Society will be held III
Odd Fellows hall on Sunday morn
ing at II o'clock. Subject of the
lesson
Reality
Regular Wednesday evening les
nonial services are held ii the an!
place at s o'clock.
The public is cordially invited 70
attend
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14

stop and consider what have we done
10 heip these colorcd people in our
cry ! WAS taught as Il child TO call
mem c0io!ed people, and have never
given them the proper name, negro
Vur papGrs are filled with accounts of
me $ellow peril" or the white
plague.Y This black plague is at our
door. w q can make il a blessing il
we viii. for. as your paper states, they
gre most important factor in our
TABOR system Have we helped them
20 DC good employees, to MI such posi-
alone. allowed them to grow into
inefficient laborers and develop into
our criminal class Go to their
miserable shantics owned by white
coun, for the death roll" Ne give
lons scientific instruction as To mil
CtoheS ana the deadly germ. and give
thcSc poor wretches not even the com
mon sanitary conveniences. Before the
Var YOU never heard OF a colorcd per
SON dying OF consumption or commit
pHSy but they grew because the
!i!stress' saw they were fed and
VINO now NIL our poorhouses were al
the quarters 10 care for them when
the mothers worked at the big house"
o. IN the helds; their cabins. to be sure.
We're not up-to-date, but the little
pickaninnies rolled and tumbled in tho
sun From time to time your paper
mas urged park, bath pool. an open
SPot where the police viii not grab
tnem and hustle them TO court But
'"' ~. tdhtS IO steps towards this
end, and this breeding pool OF disease
the co!oTed section of our city, grows
worse and worse. and the death rolf
Longer and longer. II not from hu-
L"Hit% 10 these people, should we not
LOT sell preservation do something?
we o!del white people who still care
Tor thiS race Cthc young white men
nave Il good word for them) help them
geographically. or care for some special
case, but We want organized work and
We trust your warming Will bring this
Systematic EFFORT. We owe il to them
We nave left them to the training Of
those vino sc, thcm free. who never
cared LOT them. who don't understand
them. These colorcd people were loyal
ana True to us al the time when insti-
gated by the carpetbaEger and scala
MaS OF the North, they had every
opportunity to be false to us. Nov
itt US begin ana train them in the sta
I!on th;tt God has placed them in
Ihey are dying of neglect these little
wrctched babies; Let rs take them and
make desirable emp. ,cs of them Let
MS give them decent homes give them
parks, give them bath pools Surely
they need these things as well as tho
white people. Let this be done bv The
Older people who still have svmDat hy
Tor TINS race. Don't let us bother our
selves about the heather in Africa
let us help the African here in our
MIDST. ], for one. thank YOU for call
ing us TO our duty.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE"
Richmond.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14
Are They Human, or nenst,y,

To the Editor of The Times Dispatch:
Silt happens Invariably during
these warm months that ones selfish
appetite Is touched nay even some
times the empty purse burns to spur
us on TO some quiet mountain shade
near the sea, or even those who can
AFFORD 1T to seek a little comfort in
some fond retreat. But when the
paroXNiSm of joy begins 1t seems to seize
us with a savage force and drives us on
ward like inhuman beasts. We regret
mat VIC are branded thus--but 1t is
true,
During tho Wild excitmcnt and In
train how many frail mothers and tiny
babes are in danger of being knocked
down; nay even trampled upon so
joyous is this grand parade, so inhuman
What happens next? They are now
on the train, their race is yet begun"
and as Ruskin says, they risk their
lives at forty miles an hour" Tho
train Is making however, every posi-
bile cndeavor to carry out their wishes
Thanks to the human heart by which
we live. Now that the train has ar
rived safely to her destination, what
next? y thousand hearts began to
beat; wild and hurried mob, each one
OF Mercy. Who has been bruised, bat
tered. or kicked? These mortals OF
JOY care not! They arc in keeping
time, and luckily they succeed
Not many years ago, on n Fourth
of July. crowd of Richmond people
boarded n train for one of the popular
en- route they stopped at Old Point Com
fort to await n steamer that was to
overtake them to Willoughby Splits,
lduring this monstrous rush they noarly
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14
TUE poYs mack HOME.

AS announced In our news columns.
they came back from Camp Dickson
yesterday fternoon-sunburncd. I'M
thinkably tired and tremendously glad
10 feast again on the ncshpots of
Egypt. They were four tired COM
panies Of National Guardsmcn. and they
found no particular Joy in carrying
their Sprnghelds and their blanket
rolls up tho hill.
y carping critic might have cons
planned that Major Prices stalwarts
did not march in the most perfect con-
formation, and a dyspcptic antimili-
ployment OF many young men in
nonproductivo occupation. But the
people OF Richmond thought the boys
were all right. and were very glad to
welcome them back home again.
And we think they are all right, not
only because they are our boys. but
because they have been doing unpleas-
ant work for the public veal or
course. there is a little spice to camp
life ana certain novelty about mill
tary discipline, but there is certainly
no JOY in wading through mud shoe
deep. or in getting up at midnight to
keep a tent from blowing to sea. Nor
is there any especial pleasure In stand
-hg for two hours in the broiling July
sun with n rifle that weighs pound
more with every minute it is held at
trail.
But the boys endured as good sol
diers, and to them all we are grateful.
They may not be seasoned veterans.
but they represent the boys upon whom
we will proudly rely should there ever
he another war. And we can rely con.
fidently because experience has shown
that the citizen soldiers or America.
given three months training in the
field, arc rs good as the best.
Besides all this, We are to thank
them that their efficiency. great or
small, saves us from that curse of mill
tary rule which makes life In Ger
many all but unbearablc.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14

pcare and Dumas. lie also perfected
tho short-story with tho surprise at
tho end His dcft ondings had what
tho fighter calls "a knock in them
They got to you. ana stirred your
laughter or tears. Sometimes. toward
the end this cocktail effect was fur
nishcd at cost OF verisimilitude In
the story.
Yet greater than his stories as units
was his keen criticism OF American
types in the course OF yarn.
Any human kind. from a drunken
consul in n South America coast town
TO a blonde manicure girl In 4 hashy
New York hotel. came clean-drawn and
vital from his pen. The historian
searching for the breath OF life in our
letters will con o. Henry for trcnchant
satire and brilliant observation.
The test of genius is It's love for
truth. o. Henry told the truth. North
Carolina is right to honor any man who
does that
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14
MISSIONARIES no nIcuMoNn.

Right 10 the point is the crisp criti-
cism OF a correspondent writing about
our duty to the negro: Don't let lis
bother ourselves about the heather In
Africa let us help the African here in
our midst"
We do not think the unfortunate and
ignorant in Africa will suffer neglect,
even If we turn 10 active missionary
work To bring to the Richmond con
science a realization Of what we owe
the negro. Let us do both.
Many people arc dimly aware of n
new sentiment that is remaking mod
ern life. This Quickening spirit is best
called the social conscicnce.'
In some cities It leads to tho uplift
of the enormous Industrial masses. In
others, it centres around making good
citizens out OF recent immigrants. In
me South we have little of these
problems. We have in their Mace
however, the call TO give decent social
environment 10 the negro. That is tho
gist of the restless feeling in Rich
mond that something must be done
about the housing feeding ana hooltb
OF our colored people. Tho Times
Dispatch is eager to crystalline this
feeling into action. and is seeking in
every way to present the facts and
suggest remedies.
Look nj it this way. The negroes form
about one-third OF our population.
They do perhaps moro than half of
~ I'D
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14

souls who saw tho breakdown of Mar
guard. and where arc the noble eX.
pcrts who were convinced that Mathew
son was all in--that Demaree was not
there with tho goods" and that the
Ozark Giant would be a pyEmy before
tho heavy sluggers OF the Phillics?
Gone 10 the tall timbers OF forgctful-
ness arc all us progrosticators!
And in the younger league. where
The supporters of the Senators, the UNI
shaken believers in the peerless power
OF Frank Chance? For our part. we
weep as we think how Smoky Joe"
seems to have vanished in his own
smoke. how Redient the Giant-killer is
himself victim of the enemy, and
how even the mighty Speakers in
vincible stick suhices not against tho
skill of Plank and Bender. We con
fess. too. n lurking regret that Clark
Griffith. the once-reiectcd. has not
come into his own. We were hoping
that Walter Johnson might find worthy
second in Groom the ancient Hughes
the long-armed, Gallia the swift and
Eugel the windy. TO be sure tho
edge of that sorrow is dulled by the
knowledge that Richmond's pride.
young Joe Boohling. will shattor moro
records ma win new laurels-but
what's the use? Richmond fans can
not feed longer on the reflection that
1T costs but 50 to see worlds cham
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14

pushed several delicate people into the
water. but many soldiers from Fortress
Monroe were on guard with their bAyo-
nets and they fought these desperate
their fears and inclinations; for truly
speaking the steamer was II good dis
lance from the wharf
After this gay whirl was over.
and several others overheard con-
versation between two little boys.-one
wasn't dat mean and dirdy crowd
that came frum Richmond this
morning. 1T certny wuz. Willie. ana |
hope It's the last dat Is a-cominR hcah"
have laid deeply In my heart the
philosophy between these urchins, and
II the patient and sensible world
wishes TO remember or even see this
wild race through the summer sea
son they need only witness AN cX-
cursion party boarding train at
board street car for Richmond. and
facts VIII speak for themselves
This Is plea for human Justice.
II is thousand times easier with no
accident that people be taught 10 board
a train with mannerly con-
Tho Romans had chariot races but we
understand from the ablcst authority
that these chariots were hitchcd to
horses that ran race, that they were
also driven By human beings. We know
with like genuneness that God serves
him best who only stands and waits.
but in spite OF this grand maxim let
some heavenly power restrain In us
a code of honest principles and humane
discrctions Ii is truly inhumane TO
fer because the best portion OF hui
manity have lost all bonds OF reason.
OMAR KHAYYAM
Richmond. Va. June 80, 1913.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-14

Re careful OF your diet Be sure
and eat plenty OF light food, such as
corned beef land cabbage. pork and
beans, swectbrcads and bacon, snuer-
kraut and frankfurtcrs. Dreaded salt
pork. hot mince pie and buckwheat
pancakes.
ii YOU are uncomfortable in bed
get up and try TO sleep in one Of
those old-fashioned dropping ham
mocks Then you will be glad 10 get
back into bed.
Switzerland is a good place to spend
the summer. This hint viii doubtless
be of value to nearly one-half of ! per
cent OF our readers.
If YOU arc so hot that YOU don't
know what to do with Yourself. go out
and split four cords of wood.