Perth Amboy evening news., 1913-01-11
THAT STATIONI
PROTESTATION VS.. CENTRAL
GTATJnN

Illuminate II.
Conductor: Ito passenger aboard
north bound Central r. r. night
train) Hay! You should have got
ten off at Perth Amboy, l called that
station when the train stopped!
Passenger: "By Jimmy Cracken!"
| thought we stopped in a tunnel!
(gets off at Hall e muttering)
this looks like 1t any how
But why be continually gaing the
Central r. r. a calling DOWN."
Why not call them up" once in a
while?
Ding! alingl aling! aling! alingl
Buzz-z-z-z-z Bur-r-r-r Click! Click"
Hellol Click! Click" Hello! Is hat
the
Click click spud spud click click
click click
Hello!! Bang!! Hello.!
Yes! This is Perth Amboy! oh!
you're Central Ell! Well Central I've
tried for ever SO long to attract your
attention; l want you to give me the
Railroad Station.
Whuzzat-? The lines busy?
Uh! huh! At Washington Eth! oh!
I see!
Putting the "con" in congressman
| presume?
Very well I'll call up again; thank
you; good bye.
Did you say you came in on the
Central and did not see the sta
ton? Yes? Then you could not
have been looking in the right direc-
ton. You should have looked first
up, then down, and the cross-wis..
and the with arms extended horizon.
tally. one fore and one aft, and fin
gers crossed, you should, with head
erect and body inclined forward.
have walked in the direction darkest.
of the black Shadow, five PAGES at
right angle to the tack line: Thus.
should you have had been careful to
Watch your step" you would have
arrived at-Oh! No! this is no the
r. R. station yet, 1t Is the flight oil
wooden steps leading up to the sta
ton, and In itself is, to say the least,
exquisite in design and workmanship
and largely denotes the taste OF the
people of Perth Amboy.
| might also mention by the way:
these steps are constructed entirely
of planks left over from the pile in
serted into previous platforms" OF
the late Republican party, (Heaven
'OTSlNe NE lOI SptdhluS III - i'N
dead) and were the first, the Amer
team people put their feet down on.
You would have very readily re-
cognized these as steps in the right
direction.
By this time your eyes would have
become accustomed to the darkness
and you would have known that il
was darken than, at first, you
@ln,,it. ,1ra hwy thic tip1n tho train
would be far on it's way having left
you alone with nothing to distract
your attention in mounting the stems
or stairs probably / should say, eight
in all, which you should have done
one at a time, counting all the while
one, two, three. and SO on up to
eight.
Going down, you of course would
not have to be 50 particular, knowing
that you would sooner or later hit
the bottom any way you go about
1t: the company has long ince an
ticipated this and has always kepl
the ground soft and mushy at the
I point to prevent serious accidents
r that might otherwise occur.
Having arrived at the top of tn.
r steps, or stairs, you would naturally
) have taken another step upward and
-"Confound the luck'-because
I there wasn't nine steps.
What did you say? Strike a
match" For the love of Mike no!
!, Nothing doing! don't let anyone ever
l hear you again mention anything
about making a light around the
Central station! Strictly against the
I rules of the Railroad Company! No
=. STREE! You should have kept your
, arms extended as aforesaid and adj
vanced three PAGES: thus you would
have found Yourself in contact with
the "Immovable object" or in other
! words the-guess what? Right! the
first shot out of the box! Yes, sir!
J 1.-THE Perth Amboy station of the
Central Railroad Of New Jersey
How did you guess 1t?
oh! yes! you're right again; par
don me; | should not have led you
to believe that you would then have
seen the station, | really meant to
! say you would have felt it, which
- amounts to the same thing from the
view point of the Railroad Company
at any rate you would have convin-
q ced yourself of its substantially.
a Notice how simple 1t is when you
know how to go about it?
It's really so simple a blind man
: can accomplish it with the same
ease.
No, I am sorry, for 1t would be
impossible for me to tell you how
you would find your way to the same
station in an outgoing direction.
Are you really obliged to leave the
:. city tonight? If you are, you have
my sympathy; If not, my advice;
don't attempt it until tomorrow.
But whatever you do Bill, don't 20
down home and tell the folks we
, haven't got a Railroad station: and
!, one more thing l want to impress up
on you is. we're going to have a
new one, so the progressive element
lof Perth Amboy has decided.
Hist! The Central Railroad Off
cials, so far, have not announced the
fact that they're going to tear down
: the old station but-Hist! again,
they're excepting It dark" Believe
me. Well if you must leave-Whuz-
zat? 1t takes a little longer around
!. that way, but l suppose the differ
ence in the fare about evens 1t up,
; Good by Bill-Oh! BY the way
now much are you paying for gas
L. ~.,1o T. yhnt rtohfp nnly