davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
ILLNESS AS A MONEY-NIAI<ER
From the Popular Magazine.

From the Popular Magazine.
The president of the health insurance
company was displeased, not to say ruff
fed. He considered himself downy
bird, a sharp-eyed spectator, and know
ing card The principal business of his
company was to insure people against
Illness. That is. for the payment of a
certain amount annually, they could col
lect an indemnity for all the time they
were ill.,
The prize writer of this insurance stood
before the president and bowed his head
to the storm OF reproach which was cast
upon him.
..what did you mean by insuring this
fellow Brown?" shouted the president
"sir," said the prize writer. 'he had
never been sick for day up to the time
we insured him."
"But, for the love of Heaven, can't you
be reasonable?" burst forth the prest'
dent.
.swell, admit he has been sick a good
deal since he took out his policy" ad'
mitted the man who was being bawled
out
.sick a good deal!" thundered the presi.
dent. "As well as can make out. az
soon as he got this insurance he gave ur
This apartment and hired cot in a hos
pital.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
Nicholas ii Land

Americas leading geographers do
not doubt the report that large
body Of land has been discovered in
T the Arctic ocean north Of Eastern
Siberia, but they think that its loca-
ton has not been stated with exacti-
tude by Commander Wilkitzky. Back
in 1894 Captain Nansen's ship, the
Fran, drifted in the regions about
$3.50 latitude north and 1O4 longitude
east. DR.. Nansen regarded the locality
as a deep sea basin, but if Wilkitzky
is correct his discovery, which he has
named Nicholas II Land, extends be-
yond latiture 81 north and longitude
1902 east.
Explorers who have sailed the track
less seas of the Arctic and sledded
over its bleak and barren waste
of land think that Wilkitzky's find
closes the book of discovery, so far as
large bodies of land are concerned. 1t
has long been suspected that CONT
nent existed in the regions traversed
by the Russian expedition, and the re-
ports from st. Michaels are not the
cause of great surprise.
Nicholas II Land is supposed to
have an area as large as that OF
Greenland. 1t becomes the possession
of the Russian empire. 1t is too early
ITO declare dogmatically that it will
be of no real value. For many years
Alaska was regarded as being utter
ly worthless. Now we look upon it as
regular storehouse of wealth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
TELEPHONE
Bell lprivatc exchange connecting all
departments), Main 1900.
n, my faith. he is swift and senten-
f;ous. As You Like 1t.
Our Bunglesome System

Some states have amended their
constitutions and statutes. SO that q
two-thirds majority may render
verdict in a civil suit. Alabama sticks
to the old plan of attempting to COM
pel IL men to become of one mind.
Just how this often works out is
shown in this dispatch from Hunts
vile:
A mistrial resulted Saturday night in
the damage suit of A. G. Brents against
Sheriff Hereford, which was tried in the
law and equity court. The jury stood
II to / for the plaintiff Brents
sued for alleged false arrest and inn
prisonment Attorney Douglas Taylor
represented the plaintiff and during the
progress of the trial had opportunity to
expose in a measure the practices or
deputies who make their living by ar
resting petty offenders and extracting
fees from them.
Here is composite picture of the
workings. of the jury system, and it
also illustrates the evils Of the fee
system in a striking manner Mr..
Brents has his trouble for his pains,
although the jury stood II to l in his
favor and it was shown that he was a
victim of the fee grabbers. Mr..
Brerits' case is not unique in Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
NO MORE WILD OYSTERS

Henry c. Rowe in Leslie's.
The popular idea of the source of oys-
ters is that they grow wild in creeks,
estuaries, ETC., and that men go out in
little boats and catch them, bushel or
two at "A time, somewhat as CLAIMS are
caught. The general impression is that
they gro'y naturally without cultivation,
like blackberries or blueberries; but like
many other popular impressions. this is
erroneous, except to a very limited ex-
tent
Not one bushel is 1000 of mature oysters
ready for market is found growing nat
urally. This applies to the product of
the waters of Massachusetts,, Rhode ISL
and, Connecticut, New York New Jersey
and to a less degree to Delaware, Mary
land and Virginia. Instead of growing
naturally in the majority of these states,
the artificial propagation, cultivation and
planting of oysters on large scale now
produces more than 1000 bushels of ma
ture oysters, against one bushel of ma
ture oysters growing wild.
Oyster farming is now a productive in
dustry. as completely as is grain farm
| ing on the enormous grain fields of the
west, where tens of thousands of acres
are sown and harvested under one man.
aeement. oyster farming Is well COM
pared to grain farming, except that the
growing of oysters is far more compli-
Gated, expensive and hazardous enterprise
than is the growing of grain.
A large oyster farm comprises many
thousands of acres of land under from 10
to 70 feet Of water in the great bodies Of
salt water, such as Narragansett, Pc
comic, GARDENERS, Great South, Delaware
and Chesapeake bays. Often these farms
are situated several miles from the shore,
so that strong field glass is required in
order to identify the church SPIRES light
houses, hilltops and other objects on the
distant land which are used for ranges
lin locating the boundaries of the oyster
farms.
The small boats used in the catching of
wild oysters would be useless in the pro-
pagation, planting or catching of the
crops on these great oyster farms. The
grounds are In some instances several
| miles in extent and steamers and gaso-
| line boats are employed in their cultiva-
| ton; some of the large steamers are more
than 150 feet in length, 80 feet wide, and
catching'S0 5000 bushels of oysters per day,
| In water 80 to 60 feet deep--in other words
as deep as six-story building is high.
! These great oyster farms, comprising
| from 5000 to over 5000 acres under one
management, are often situated several
miles from Ind, where the bottom is con-
stantly swept by the deep, clean currents
of salt water, ensuring the delicious pur-
| ters to epicures. Y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
The Rhodes Scholarships

Many young Alabamians are am
bilious to go to Oxford to complete
their education. Cecil Rhodes left a
large sum in trust, the income from
which is to be used to defray the ex-
penses of certain number of young
men from all the English-speaking
countries of the globe at the famous
university.
1t was his idea that in this way
would the English speaking nations
be brought closer togther. The native
Englishman, the New Zealander, the
Canadian, the Australian, the South
African and the American would
mingle together and learn the ideals,
the viewpoints, the hopes of each 9TH
er. In this way, the famous developer
believed, chances of friction among
the nations would be lessened; an un-
derstanding would be established
which would hold in good stead when
ever controversies should arise or am
bitions clash.
Rare indeed are Cecil Rhodes in his
tory. Progress was his fetch and
patriotism his religion. He was one
of the greatest developers the world
has even known. Pounds sterling by
the millions poured into his hands.
But he cared nothing for money ex-
cept to spend it for England. 1t was
his dream to make Africa British, and
he worked with tireless zeal and a
dogged energy that drove him to his
grave long before his time.
He had wrought miracles, but what
he had done he considered as nothing
His imagination pictured the African
wilds teeming with commerce and in
dustry; the locomotives whistle woulo
be heard at night where now the still.
ness is only broken by the roar of the
lion. Cities would spring up in waste
places; happy people would plant
and harvest; Africa would be hive
of profitable labor-and it would be
all English.
AS he lay dying in fisherman
hut by the sea, his mighty mind re-
viewed the schemes it had reasoned
and he felt that he was to go with
them yet in their infancy. $50 little
done, SO much to do" he sighed. HI
had accomplished prodigies. But tx
him they were as naught compared
with what he intended to do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
LUXE M,LukE s&Ys

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to wear a shawl?
When relative dies and leaves her a
little money, red-haired girl immedis
ately becomes a Titian-haired beauty.
Lots of men are too busy making good
to waste any time putting do 1t Now"
sign over their desks.
There may not be any angels in the
next world, but there are plenty OF good
wives in this world.
The honeymoon ends the morning he
wakes up and finds hole in the toe of
one of his socks and discovers that she
has forgotten to send the laundry. that
his only clean shirt is torn in front, that
there is button off the back of his pants
and that he hasn't clean handkerchief,
| Every man who suffers from rheuma-
| tism can tell the other fellow a sure cure
| for rheumatism.
| A man always gets kind of suspicious
about a guy who says 'nyther'' when he
means neither" And the mutt who says
''shawn't' and ''cawn't' is classified first
crack out of the box.
| We don't care so much about the tariff,
but there should be special session to
revise derby hats upward.
| The man who delivers the goods never
has to let out a squawk about lack of
opportunity
| Scientists say a man is mentally strong
at so. But any princess can tell you bet
| ter than that.
! Once in a while you find a man who
has so much spare time that he reads
the opening speeches made by candidates
The world is growing better. but too
many men continue to use their union
suits for pajamas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
The Commerce Court

The commerce court will 60 out OF
existence December 1. The Judges
will be continued in office, but the
court itself will cease to be.
A provision in the urgent deficiency
bill just passed marks the end Of a
long fight. The commerce court was
created during the administration and
on the advice of President Taft. Its
duty was to consider appeals from the
decisions of the interstate commerce
commission, and it has been charged
that its only accomplishment has been
the hampering of the commission.
From the start the commerce court
has been extremely unpopular with
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
The supper Hour at Fair

"The most Interesting feature of the
fair to me- said an old hand at the
fair business. 'is the supper hour along
the promenade toward the side shows.
s"rhe good humored spielers get very
busy as soon as the grandstand is
emptied after the races and some of
their gags are original and highly
amusing. The thousands all seem to
get hungry at the same time and all
of sudden every booth or eating place
is doing a good business. The fare is
good, wholesome and very reasonable.
one can find somewhere something to
attract the appetite, if not already
doubly blessed with one One fellew
was crying out we have the ham,
the hamburger and a son of Ham in
the kitchen cooking EN-. Another
spieler cries. I'm no mind reader, but
l know what you want-your supper's
been ready right in here for five min
utes: walk right in
Everywhere one turns it's victuals
and drinks; nothing but soft drinks,
however. some of them so soft, as the
pineapple flavor for instance, that you
have to stop after trying one to sat
isfy yourself what they really use to
make pineapple -ade."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
pn1soNING nr PAINTERS
m the New York Telegram.

From the New York Telegram.
Or. Alice Hamilton has written a re-
port on the hygiene of the painters trade
for the United States bureau OF labor
statistics. The report deals with lead
poisoning among painters in the United
States.
While data were not available con-
cerning the trade in the whole country.
significant information as to the preva-
1ence and severity of lead poisoning
among painters is presented Records of
hospital cases IN Chicago. Philadelphia.
Cincinnati and Camden showed about 30
per cent of painters among cases of
plumbism treated, and in New York
hospital 2s out of 80 cases recorded dur
ing a period of seven and d half years
were painters. The Illinois commission
on occupational diseases, from incomplete
records for 1908 to 1910, found that pain
ters We're about q per cent of the cases
of plumbism in that state. Studies of
physicians and other investigators showed
similar conditions.
Illinois has PASSED u law for the pro-
lection of painters in factories and work
shops, but not covering house or sign
painters. Missouri and Ohio also have
passed laws relating to the manufacture
of lead compounds. but no other state has
any special law for the protection OF
workers in the lead using trades.
That lead poisoning among painters
may be materially reduced is shown from
the experience of railway car COM
pany, which introduced complete sani-
tary equipment and supervision and pro-
vided for regular weekly medical inspec-
ton of the workers, substituting lead sui
phate paint for lead carbonate paint
From July / to December 81, 1911, before
these changes had gone into effect. loe
cases of plumbism were found among an
average of 4s9 painters examined month
ly, or Is cases per month. During the
period of nearly IA months from March
/, 1912, to April 90 1913, when lead sui
phate was used exclusively and after
complete sanitary equipment and medical
inspection had been provided, only three
cases OF plumbism were found among 639
men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
PLAYS OF YESTERDAY AND TODAY

lice stopped further performance of them
until the Objectionable scenes had been
taken out. They are now drawing large
houses because of the notoriety they re-
ceived for being immoral.
The first play that Mr.. Howard ever
wrote was a dramatization of Victor
Hugo's .Fantine." In the translation he
followed the authors language exactly
in number of places. But there was
no comment on the broad lines he used
In referring to a woman of the Streets
That was simply because Victor Hugo
was sincere: the words used in the play
and the description of the characters
were not needlessly run in to lower its
tone, but were necessary to point its
moral.
This cannot be said of the authors OF
the modern Sewer DRAMAS as they
have been patty. called. They are not
sincere. One of the most revolving acts
in one of the new plays had absolutely
nothing to do with the main plot. 1t
was dragged in to cater to the morbid
curiosity of playgoers. Another play do
ing enormous business had similar
scene. When it was taken out after the
police investigation the action of the play
was In nowise injured; it was, in fact, inn
proved, for the play was more compact
New plays of the same character are
being produced almost every day in the
theatrical metropolis. One of the critics
there characterized the latest one as be-
ing more rubbish for the trash heap"
Its plot is bolder and more suggestive
than those that have gone before. Nam
ayers seem to be vying with one an
other to see who can present the worst
plays. And the worst part about the
whole situation Is that most of them are
drawing great crowds at every perform
ance. Two or three of them have failed
it is true, but their failure was not due
to their suggestiveness, but because they
were so hopelessly feeble in construction.
And yet 40 years ago managers refused
plays in which some society girls did
unconventional things!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16


1t is perfectly heart rendering how the
soleeisms do creep into the works of
ouf popular authors This, for instance.
about a calamity which befell an Ameri-
can hero while motoring madly oyer the
plains of France in pursuit of the car
containing his sweetheart and the das-
tards who had kidnapped her: There
was a sputter. Leander's heart sank
within him. He knew the horrid truth,
yet his fervid love rejected the cold
reasoning of the brain. His petrol had
failed.' Now anybody only distantly ac-
quainted with our best sellers is well
aware that although gasoline may be
petrol in England it is essence in
France
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
JOHN MAsoN's NEW ROLE

From the Iopuidr Maeazhie'
John Mason is an actor. The dramatic
critics say so. So does he. That makes
It unanimous. Moreover, he's professor
when 1T comes to explaining the intrica-
cies and difficulties of the English lau-
guage.
The night that he and Martha He'd
man. the beautiful Swedish actress. who
was then giving her first performance in
English. opened In '.The Attack" Miss
Hedman asked Mason how she had gotten
away with her English pronunciation
.,F,ine." said Mason. "There were two
or three instances of quaint accent which
added to the charm of your work. But
there was one word which you pro-
nounced in sue, way that it got on my
nerves.. Instead of pronouncing resign
meaning to give up in despair as if the
second syllable began with a slow, Shiny
and crawlinz z, thus. 're-zine, you per-
sisted in pronouncing it as If the second
SYLLABLE began with the sharp. cracking
and sizzling s--which 1t does, but only
in the spelling book, not on the tongue.
.T.et me illustrate, my dear Miss He'd
man. IL you get sick of looking at me
every night in the play, you will refine
at the end of the season. On the other
hand. IL we get along all right together
YOU will probably resign with Mr.
Charles F'rohman as my leading woman
for next season"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
4 FRIEND o, NINE

Fred II. Weatherly in the London Globe.
When you are happy, friend O. mine,
And all your skies are blue.
Tell me your luck. your fortune fine,
And let me laugh with you.
Tell me the hopes that spur you on,
The deeds you mean to do.
The gold you've struck, the fame you've
won,
And let me joy-with you.
When you are sad and heart a-cold,
And all your skies are dark,
Tell me the dreams that Knocked your
hold.
The shafts that missed the mark
Am I not yours for veal or woe?
How else can friends prove true,
Tell me what breaks and brings you love
And let me stand--with youi
So. when the night falls trenuleus.
When the last lamp burns low,
And one of US or both of lis
The long lone road must go,
Look with your dear old eyes in mine.
Give me handshake true;
Whatever fate our souls zawci..
Let me be there with YOU.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
I'll. .TRIEST. NOTE


Whatever melodies may spring
From out a poets heart,
I'm sure that he can never sing.
So sweet as when tears start
And in his troubled breast is born
That perfect song so rare
lis waited to the gates of morn
And sung by seraphs there.
THE BOSS WORRIER
Whats Boggles worrying about now ~
He says radium is $4,000 a gram"
TAKING CHANCES
HE has a motor car on the land,
motor boat onsthe water and an aeroplane
in the air.
What do you suppose embittered him
so?"
What do you mean?p
He doesn't seem to want to live"
MORE CONSIDERABLE
Would you call Dibbs lazy?"
NO I would merely say that he has
the fisherman's temperament"
FOLLY
I've often thought that life would be
From many great disasters free
IL men would drop that fool pretense
Best known as over-confidence.
Then ships would not so oft go down.
Nor mortals be to atoms blown;
Fast trains would seldom overturn
And fewer factories would burn.
SEEMED LONG
you've had your cook long time
you say?'
Yes. She came last week.
THAT isn't a long time
you don't think so because you don't
eat here"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
From the Kansas city Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
wv HEN Bronson Howard, the dean
w of American playwrlghts. sub
w mited one of his first plays,
Saratoga" to the manager of theatre
in Boston, the manuscript was returned
to him with the information that the
characters were altogether too improper
to appear in Boston. He then sent the
piece to Laura Kean in Philadelphia.
She replied with words to the same ef
feet, although even stronger, and also
returned the manuscript.
The idea of the play had been taken
from a series of magazine articles deal
ing with up-to-date girls of that period
girls who led a fast, fashionable life;
not fast in a low sense, but in sense
of doing daring and extreme things in
good society. Howard did not believe
the play immoral nor improper. He was
naturally little discouraged at the way
it had been received. but he sent it to
Augustin DAILY. who had just leased the
Fifth Avenue theatre in New York. Daily
read the play and liked it; he remarked
that If Boston and Philadelphia had re-
fused it, New York would be sure to
take it. 1t did. The play was a great
success; no comment was made on the
action Of the girls.
Several years later the manager of
road company which was to play the
piece asked the author If he could have
the girls do something a little more
daring. and thus put more ginger into
the action.
How strange all this seems now! Mod
ern managers, many of them. refuse
plays If they are too prudish. Let them
know that a play Is filled with question
able scenes and is built on a suggestive
theme, and they will sign contract for
it's production. And New York is still
holding up its reputation OF taking any
thing that other cities refuse. Two or
three plays produced there this season
have played to enormous houses-plays
so filled with suggestiveness that the po-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16

A NEW ROAD TO THE SALOON

FROM tne Popular Magazine.
Dutch Frye was in a hotel in a western
city one day when man whom he knew
very slightly rushed up to him, and
handed him this;
Dutch, lend me 800. I've been drink
ing little too much since I've been in
this town, and I've used up all the money
brought with me. Furthermore, this
hotel is very strict, and has rule that
no drinks can be served in the room of
guest unless he is i'll in bed, and has a
doctors certificate to show for it.. The
fact is. Dutch, have already had pneu-
monia, diphtheria, asthma, congestion OF
the lungs. infiammatory rheumatism. lar
yngitis, and --''
Take the hundred said Dutch SOL
emnly. I'm afraid. if you keep on, you
might have some fatal disease
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-10-16
PANKHURsT' NEW PREACHMENT

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Through her advance agent, using the
theatrical advertising term, Mrs. Emme-
line PanlShurst has outlined the text and
the gospel she is to preach as suffragist
in this country No doubt she has been
advised that her doctrine of destructive
militancy will find no favor among wom-
ankind here and has wisely concluded to
accept the advice to refrain from preach
ing it. Her appeal, therefore, so it is
announced, will rest upon the argument
that equal suffrage will assist in estab-
fishing the doctrine of the single STAN
dard of morality here. This is only an
other phase of the sex war, based, as all
its other forms are. upon the assumption
that man is guilty of oppression of the
woman.
1t is difficult to follow the reasoning
that arning the woman with the vote
will change spiritual conditions. With
all religious denominations and sects
teaching purity, and with the statute
books of the states and the federal gov-
ernment teen1ing with punitive laws
against impurity, it seems that, what is
most needed is an awakening of con-
science. In the final consideration 1t is,
after all, question for the home and not
the public forum. 1t is not cynicism to
express the belief that Mrs. Pankhurst
has seized upon this phase of the sex
clash because she believes that it is pop
ular and will attract audiences to her
meetings. What she will find is that the
American people are exceedingly curious,
but difficult to convince. Several dis
tinguished candidates for the presidency
have discovered that immense rear
platform crowds do not foretell elections