The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-04-18
A Punste
Punished
b F. 4. MrTdiH

tunes. II 10 Z misfortune to Do dump
Cd into an ocean from !. stsArnstsasax.
ing yoni at the rate Of twenty Knots an
hour. but you are very soon either
saved or your troubles are ended. I
suffer under. q misf0rtunes that began
with my birth. was added to- ct my
baptism and has been endured ever
since. Ny fathers name vas John
Darling. II he had named me John
for himself Sne-half my HES suffer
ings would have been avoided. but my
mothers family name was Rosedale.
and I was given that surname. pre-
sumo / should remember my parents
with reverence and affection. AZ for
the latter. 20 I do. but how al one
revere q pair Of intellects which even
combined were too stupid not to fore
see that l, az boy and man,.iWppld be
Rose Darling1 &
The trouble began when ] lnrst went
to school. the boys suggesting that !
be classed With the girls. Whensl grew
older and Joined a musical club ] was
asked II ! sang soprano o. contralto.
I was called Rosie Dear. Darling nose
indeed. every play upon my name that
could be invented.
Foreseeine that a manly part n life
was needed to help me to throw OF
thii. suggestion Of effeminacy, I deter
mined to become a soldier. I applied
to the congressman Of my district He
told me that be had given out bis
appointments. but 1 saw from the
AmusedsexpressionSo on. hts. face. he
would not think Of recommending q
boy with such a name. ! walked away
to the nearest recruiting station and
enlisted. t53s
I knew what I had to expect from
my comrades. and ! was not disap-
pointed. i was soon given the soubri-
quet OF Sweetheart and. except OH
cially, was never called anything else.
I bore It stoically. When addressed as
''SMeetheart' or Rosie Dear" I did not
complain. taking 1t rs a matter of
courseHthat is. pretending to do so.
though every time was thus address
ed 1t was like stab.
resolved to be the best soldier in
my company. and ! was. Notwith-
standing my incubus | was promoted
to be corporal. then sergeant and final
~ orderly sergeant. When l. reached
the highest noncommisstoned Office in
my company I secured an advantage.
It enabled me when on duty to compel
the men to address me BY my light
name. permitted them to cali me
what they liked unofacially. but the
moment one Of them did so upon any
.oficial occasion ! brought himsup with
a round turn. This gradually killed
the habit.
Ny service in the ranks was during
the last Indian troubles. and In q fight
that occurred In attempting to drive Z
tribe OF redskins back on to their res-
ervation l. preferring to die rather than
not gain something BY which to ball
ance the disadvantage Of the name un-
der which 4 lived. fought regardless Of
danger. The result was that when
we got back to the fort the colonel
commanding sent for me. compliment.
ed me and told me that he had recon-
mended me for a commission. He
knew me as Sergeant Darling. Darling
by itself 10 not a very bad name. andBl
hoped that when ! came to associate
with the commissioned officers ! should
gain a respite. would be MI. Oar
ling. and when l came 10 the next
grade aboyes+l would be Captain Dars
4ipgs. ThsspqsIl. ssHesyd,g { ths s.R1s 4
Dear ii asllis f6afss ~ nv .; sSSs u
But I wa doomedato disappointment
Il found that the higher lrose the more
ambitious were my associates. Ambt.
don takes many forms. The ambition
Of the stupidest persons seems to be3to
crack a joke. And the stupider the
person the more reliant be q upon an
opportunity. When q few weeks later
the colonel sent Tor me TO hand mo
my commission found him looking q
the parchment with6a smile lowering
about his lips. with aStwinkle - hls
eye he said half musingly. *.
...Rosedaie: Darling. Rose Darling
ala ha!! Mr.. Rose Darling, I am pleased
to greet you among the commissioned
oficers Of the army. | dare say youi
will be very dear Is the ladies Of the tlle
garrison 'Ag Il /, sg$ / g at
''.Thank yoiu.s colonel 1 tsaid. toFctni,s
q smile. .'sTIhatss avery good pun q
yours. How .dtd you5shappens tof think
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