Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-01-03
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~ by Re <. Moulton. q

now Is IL little of the stun that talks
The amount we nave NOW can't even
Whisper AS loud ~ a bullfrOg with the
tons1litiS i'm "A 10 below zero climate.
christmas is drawing nigh and we have
got to nave enough of h tainted stun
tn buy II pair of cotton batting whisk-
ers and rent n string OF sleighbells. II
only afeW would call in and settle. it
would help some. Come ON. boys. Let
uss how what Hickeyviile ran do.
A One-armed man selling lead pen
ellis WAS III our midst Wednesday last.
This Is getting to- be quite a m%etropoli-
tan place. Enos Han Tuesdayed at
West Hickeyville. A woodpecke err has
got the hardest face OF any bird 1 ever
see. Calling cards printed at the CLAIR
ion Office.
lhere WAS quite n lot of excitement
IN this mans town asst Wednesday,. A
smoker from the city passed "A Cam
auian quarter on the wine clerk at the
Golden Nugget. Old Mar Purdy lost a
large knot II of his wooden leg the
olnef day and he is now hiring out for
Il hltching post. He stands in front
OF Ilbbitts grocery store and farmers
coming into own hitch their horses
.hrough the knothole in Purdy's leg.
Hank Tumms has the dyspepsia at this
writing. Had fresh pork for dinner
sunday and wasn't used to it.
Uncle Ezra Harkins has a new job
NhA~ bolts ALAlo n
been I'm politics for a long time and has
earned this place.
MUSINGS OF A PESSIMIST.
A lot of windiammers get gabby
about the peoples rights when they
don't know the peoples rights from
their lefts.
A lot of people With nerve get by
While Il lot of others with ability don't.
About the only valid excuse for
wearing long flowing whiskers is that
II does away With the necessity OF
buying neckties.
Nobody has got "a better opinion of
himself than Il man who has
lated $4,000 in Il small town.
There is such a thing as being too
close to nature. There are times when
some of it should be washed off.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER
Anse Frisby, our banker. says it il.
harder to break into society than to
break out of Jail. He ought to know.
He has tried both.
l often wonder what the Turks dc
when they are not fightin'.
Hank Tumms says he is goin' to get
his wife a sewing machine next spring
A SEWN machine.
The man who used to have Il barr
has put Il gasoline car behind it ana
caIled 1t Il garage.
Thefe is one thing thai no man evel
made Il success of, and that is the drink
abb
What would "a suffraget think of he,
husband if he paid $40 for a 81 hat
with a ROSTERS tail stuck on it?
They tell us that civilization is add
vancing by leaps and bounds. but W.
note there are still a good many mel.
who wear read neckties.
There are but few fellers in this
country who We're never smitten with
the charms OF the village milliner.
A Teller knows as much at n
other period OF his life as he does when
he Is II ear old.
No ma knows what trouble is until
ne buys u second -hand sewing macllin,
for his wife and tries to pawn it off on
her for a new one.
Grandpa Bibbins is the oldest man
IN our town. l guess. He says he can
remember back when wcr.
called love apples and was thougi,,
to be pizen.
A man who never changes his mind
amt got any mind to change.
The loudeSt takers are the poorest
fighters.
There amt no Teller who is more OPP
timistic than one who orders nash in q:
dining Il when there is anything else
in sight.
NAOOaS SHG ohAS pave IL ItIeT XIII
buy Il o of figs nowadays is on the
train.
1t ! no railroad trip at all to some
fellers unless they kin keep their head
stickin' out Of the car window.
When a couple kin agree when to
nave the bedroom window up and
when to have it down there amt much
danger of a divorce.
n the use of sayin' tiggers don't
lie when every man knows tina his
There is one good thing about bein'
q prohibitionist. A prohibitionist is
never disappointed in the outcome of a
presidential election.
Inc railroad that runs through Hick-
eeyville buys a nam every GEAR and that
10 enough to supply the ham sand
wiches along the line.
Any husband who let's his wife make
q monkey of him. is not entitled to any
sympathy and he never gets any.
A Teller has got to have a lot of sand
to go into the cement sidewalk BUSH
ness.
A man may wear a gallon hat to
church on Sunday. out still AXE a wild
home away from her on Monday.
ktckin' on the street car service is
the oldest form of amusement in this
country.
When a man starts to goin' down hill
there are plenty Of friends ready to
help him along.
A Teller who has got the gift Of CAB
gen'ally lands somewhere even II it is
only in Jail.
The trouble in this country at the
present time seems to be that the din
ner pals are too large.
Some of the poetry IA young teller
writes to his gal certainly sounds fine
n dandy when h pulls 1t on him
10 years after they are married.
NOAH WEBSTER DOWN TO DATE.
Meat-An article OF food used ex-