davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01
by MEG VILLARS.

A FTER a woman sees your
~ Stock Exchange. dear New
York, she just sits down and
wonders how on earth you men
creatures have the nerve to joke her
about Bargain sales.!!
Why, the Stock Exchange is just
like big bargain sale. but not as
pretty because your ribbons are only
long bits Of white tape with mys-
tcrious hieroglyphics printed along
them! Now, woman would have
made those tape machines combine
pleasure with business! II you must
nave stock quotations Us that the
Eight way to say it7), have them; bu,
why not have nice serial story run
ming on the underslde to amuse thc
members who don't seem to be taking
any active part In the scramble? I'm
not sure that woman wouldn't find
tho way 10 make that machine turn
cut sausases, too: It would solve thc
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

man goes out without more than Just
her omnibus fare she always comcS
across little shops that have the most
attractive things. There are lovely sta.
TONERS stores ana haberdashery shops
downtown. II there are two things that
attract me IT'S stationery and ties! IL
London can never 60 down to tn"
CITY without spending good many
on masculine neckwear and
fancy notepapcr, not forgetting pretty
colored sealing wax. Its tho same
thing In Paris round the Boursc. Paris
Is different from London and New York
in one respect, though. because in ths
streets near its Stock EXCHANGE there
dwell all the Wholesale silk and satin
houses. az well as embroidery and TRIM
ming merchants. and there are. there
fore. almost az many womsn and Eirls
round the Boursc AZ there are men.
You don't see many women downtown
here or IN London. But at tho same
time, In all three cities. the shopping
atmosphere IN the meas part OF tho
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

blackboards are no doubt good cor
duet marks for the right additions to
the sums the clever floor boys have
done In their heads The ones VINO are
walking about doing noe,si1g are the
senior and a-in&el'tgent pupils who
got their problems done early. then
they hang around. manliks. 20 sss the
lagxards get Into trouble and glost over
them! II took me some time 20 erusp
the idea' I'm ashamed 10 ssy. but now
Two got 1t IN hang on 20 It. Now I
understand about the bunch Of cross.
worried holding men 0utaids on TIE
curb Del0w roped In together under the
surveillance OF an officer guess they
were the very badly behaved ones oe
the bunch and they D0t sent out OF the
class ms punishment They were
lucky Il wasn't rsinin9! Some OF them
looked awfulIy mad about It and were
making all sorts ~ nenacinH eeseaPes
up at the windows. II | were the nice
old schoolmaster In the skullcap I
should worry. Osher nsDbers OF the
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01
IT'S Born in Her and
Keeps Her Alive, Es-
peciaHy When Ms
Mixed With a Drop of
Scofch-So Why MOI
Laugh With Her When
You Get the Chance?
BY CHARLES DARNTON,

A FrER getting behind one OF
~ those trustworthy upright
trunks | ventured to inquire:
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

! 7 am sure English women must bless
those gutter merchants, for their hus-
bands have no excuse to forget to buy
their collar buttons from them Have
you noticed, dear New York men. that
~ woman simply cant remember to buy
collar buttons for her wusscr-halr? It's
a fact. She'll get him anything from u
safety razor to suspcnders; shc'll even
try matching a box III cigars from an
old stub; BIT she viii moi recall tAc
fact that what h" wants most In u card
Of collar buttons
Talking OF stock exchanges. however.
lts In Paris that you get tbs best view
Of tho funny way men do business
ioI Gan set out under the awnings OF
any one Of tho many little cafes thar
abound on tho Place do In Bourse ana
watch them tumbling UP ana down thc
sleep steps Of the l'uurse ncr0ss thy
street. yelling like inllmen aDd gestic,i-
laung like monkey you do Tho yelling
part here. all right, TOO. don't youo.
ON spring day IT'S particularly
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

the words Of the play out OF my throat
But | fooled you all--yuu critics don
know how easy You are"
She threw herself back 10 enjoy
laugh. In which | gladly Joined The
fact Is that May Irwin has no better
friends In New York than the devoted
slaves who turn her welcome perform.
anccs into copy"
Don't thnk for q moment" she has
tened TO say. that the laughs on You
boys Heaven forbid know my
friends, and | don't forget them. You
can put that in your hat and wear IL
out with you. But I'm giving YOU in
side information when 1 tell you that
I felt anything but Jolly on Monday
night. For one thing. my cold had gone
from my throat TO my chest. and. as
my doctor said. that's going long way
with me-
The Joke was on tho chcst--and Miss
irwin made no bones about it. She was
coughing better ms she continued:
"My sense Of humor IL kecner TODAY
than It ever was. And I owe 1t ali 10
a drop of OF Scotch In my veins. NJ
mother Is otch-Canadian, and nj.
though she's eighty. one she doesn't look
a day over nifty. Her sense OF humor
Keeps her yourg. And that's true of
every woman VINO looks upon life wlth
twinkle IN her eye Any time YOU
hear any one say that women haven't
y sense OF humor don't you believe IL,
re rather play to an audience OF
women than OF men any time, and still
they tell mo | know men pretty we'll
For that matter ! natter myself that
hnow how to make men laugh. And
this brings us TO the beginning and cnl
Of This happy meeting. No woman out
lives her sense OF humOr. II sticks to
her as long rs she can stick to earth
ili she needs Is a chance to express
it,"
/ was only too willing TO lot her talk
II isn't every afternoon that a hard
working man meets a May Irwin. Life,
after all, resolves itself pretty much into
communication with the subway, where
your neighbours newspaper Is stuck In
your eye. II was a relief to hear:
"Why not make the most OF laugh
when you hear 1t? Last year | hsd n
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

s,,ol,o, s,,ssos-h,, ,r,s o,., .,o,.
tnc mI,r, co., ., ,bin, ,,o,, -, 80, -
90, ,Ni,,t =, ,a"ni 20
ia W., o'',t. 80 ga' 10 eo"'e W
w -, III 1870, ~ ,.
Thl,o ,.a. ,,on,a,, %, ,,,, 81. .,''ra.
l., ,,hi1h ,ra. 49,, ~ -, ~, wv
,,,t'.,,,,', -. L,,,,,u ,,. IL. -, a.
coI "Ir,hnr'" r, us,,iIv hrinys sorth =
sole sotisga1 ,ndrvldnaI .ho ,o,t. ike
\ butcher gone wong or 49, ,hv
hohhing cre,tr.o VIC s,omS,o ho ~.
noh,.st work. ~, tho village drn.smo,nr
10 mink tba, a gn,,nIna ,ashton VI, :.
had bn.n laf, IA hin,h ur.non MA, ill.,
iTopring n hI,cJ, h,I, TO ,nn A,,hn,S.
C,uh
AN, ,o,,,, u,,,,.,., ,,,,. , -.
,,- ~ s'I'' nN twill 80
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

piece called She Knows Better Now.
but I thought too much of you critics
To bring II into New York. II I've read
one play I've read five hundred since
last fall. II was purely by accident
that ] met Widow by Proxy 4 friend
OF mine bumped into Willie Elliott. who
asked: Ia May Irwin looking for n
piay?' She's going blind looking FOR
one replied the truthful boy. The next
thing | knew | was saying good morn
ing to Mr.. Elliott. ana as luck would
have II Mrs, Gushing came IN while
was looking over her play That settled
II. A bargain was made then and there.
There's one thing about woman au-
thor OF "A womun's play that puts her
head and shoulders above the man who
tries to 1T play to an actress--shc un-
derstands n woman's feelings. whereas
ne only thinks he does. But You have
To come to New York to find your play
wright. Experience on the road has
taught me that women outside OF New
York-and this is equally true OF men,
peY'lnps-are not addicted to the habit
Of writing plays Anyway. this II the
market and here youn md the play, ii
It's to be found anywhere,
You are suffragist?" 7 asked IN
fear and trembling.
'Wcll-nOt exactly. | don't Ike the
word"
How does IL SCUM 20 you"'
IA hate to tell you But aren't We
having nice weather FOR this time Of
year? II sends all my thoughts back
10 the farm. The members Of my COM
many tell me over the tea We save from
the pay for my dressil,S room that they
wont feel safe about "A two weeks
notice until they give me mask m
which to cross Broad way. They're
afraid I'll hear a bird CHIPPING or soc
blade Of grass IN Long Acre and feel
The call of spring, And speaking Of
spring. don't forget the eternal sense IF
humor. No. that isl'J the door to thr
n.l that's the bathroom. This way
outW
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

A FTER getting behind one OF
~ those trustworthy upright
trunks ventured to inquire:
"Ilas the funny woman an age
limit?"
There's nothing personal in that,
] hope?" remarked Miss May Irwin,
cycling me narrowly and at the same
time stealthily drawing toward her
q heavy glass paperweight war
ranted TO kill at forty PAGES.
How could there be-" l asked,
keeping on the safe side of the ques-
ton as we'll as the trunk.
That's not bad" she was good
enough TO say. but" she added,
turning to abuse poor de Zayas, that
caricature you made OF newell, !
love caricatures-BUT!"
Her fingers frightened about the deadly
papcrweght and for moment words
failed her Strong emotion was obvi-
ously working overtime in her. I was
quietly enjoying the situation when she
turned on me with:
"And I've little something for you.
] really ought to show it YOU. And
then aga.n | oughtn't. It's an acknow-
ledgnent from the author of my play
10 the critics and there are a couple of
lines written In red Ink. as well as cold
blood, for You"
/ begged her not 10 spare me. Any-
thing TO help a friend, | thought, glanc-
ing AT my unhappy companion, who was
turning as pale as the ghost in Ham
lett
IAN r.shtw agreed Miss Irwin. charg-
iug upon her writing desk and dashins
pa,A win an envelope from whi'h sh,
drew = letter tIat .DoNci rs thuI-n If
had boon written by "a press agent In
the tlu.s OF Sunday 'ld Oh What
do y1l tI.uN OF t1tt.' sne demanded.
"lt shows Mrs. tusnlns mas sense
Of haMo,.' Mas boom. to alnt.
"You Diet snc lae" declared NJ SIS IT,
win, rulrlnS over with enthusiasm fol
ihs author 90: widow by Proxy
"Nlats A.ueo.' sine Wcn' on, II 30 al
mIr% a clover woman. And then, too
she's ~ sA.y 10 lsul. at I've seen ads
autho.s that made me feel in need 0!
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

Perhaps I have been thinking wrongly
al ,tv Time Perhaps tho stock En-
change Isn' a store At an Now think
about Il farther na) DE that ia more
"' q school OF mental arthmetlc. That
would account f1r o." huge black.
boards rhDy have on the walls ana the
nirr f1JJimtstrl-I looking ola gentle
man up ~ tac gallery VINO k,ops order
t.u meaning of the sharp cries and
ye,ps ON, .uars FROM time - umc' Its
quite easy one" Npu set Nuur brain 20
work ami get tho hang OF ~ Those
uumSeEs that "es' min. - On the
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01
Meg VNars Sees the NeW York Stock Exchange
and Wonders Why Wives Are TeasedAbout Bargain Sales

She Notices That There
Is Always on the Floor
a Loan Broker Who
Will Lend Money to
the Members on the
Spot When They
Want 10 Buy Stocks
and Things.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

nigh cost OF living worry as well as
providing quick lunchcons on the spot
suppose the members who wal,
about with their hands In their pockets.
1r else sit round tho "can" posts, ara
the wise ones who got to the shop
early and made their bargains before
the suburban crowd rushed along; then
aiter~ard they just stay there to
watch the fun ~ bit. ana. like woman
docs, step 10 the counter from time to
time 10 snatch an unusually tempting
bargain away from under = slower
ntmber's nosC!
dare say buying shares and things
Is like buying gloves. Yon get them
cheaper II you take them IN dozens!
Therefore the richer YOU are the more
You get. and then you make corners In
things. q say, Ia Ike to make a corner
In Parry = frocks ana Rcycillon's fursD
There's one thing where you New York
men beat ~ women. ana that II in the
moUey lending line. When We haven't
any money to buy bargains with We
Just have ~ wecp!ngly take the tram
H0m', empty handed. or else have (,
cha god 20 husband-and We don't really
dare do that ~ often as husbands pre-
tend At the stock Exchange you seem
TO have people to lend you money right
there ON the spot, one lender was point
I'd out to me-. \ tail, rhinnlsh man.
with narrow shoulders, walking about
with his hands claspcd behind him. /
think hl's a really great idea. and
they ought to have man Ike tpat IN
some OF the New iOIk stores
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1913-03-01

Her Notion Is IT Would
Be a Good Idea for the
Stores to Have a Man
on Hand to Lend Cash
to Women Who Leave
Home With Only Car
fare When They Go
Shopping.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
Daddy Bedtime
@. The Dog Which
OCOIV- Had Too Many
Good Things.

Jack liked good things to eat Most small boys do. Sometimes, though,
he wanted nor Of them than his mother thought was good for him.
~ There had been very nice cake for tea. Jack and Evelyn had each had
no. ""} s
IF you eat too much cake you will be ILL.," daddy advised.
Let me tel. You about Dan, a bulldog which belonged to a man who lives
in Che west
AS Dan grew up he became a great favorite with the family. He raj as
clever and IS handsome a dog as you would wish to meet
"Hism master became SO fond Of Dan that nothing a thought to be too
good for him. Dan early showed a fondness for chicken, and he was fed
chicken twice a day, while ham and eggs, which he also liked, were given to
whenever he wanted them.
but the more chicken and am and eggs he ate the fatter Dam became.
Every little while he had a sick SPELL Oh, dear how ill he was!
"As 500 as he was well again he would gobble more chicken and ham and
eggs and have to have the doctor again.
Then ~ day he became very, very ill, and the doctor. although he did
his best could do nothing for him. Dan died.
"The dogs master was overcome with grief The sorrowing family laid
away in a spot in the garden which Dan had seemed to love- There he
had buried his bones and slept O hot umner days.
And his fond master and sorowing friends said something ought Il be
done about Dams death. They did not think o young and promising a dog
should have died 10 young.
$50 they went to see the man who had sold Dan to his master and the man
asked how Dan had been cared for.
"'What did you give him to eat? the dog man wanted to know.
"Why, chicken and ham and eggs and all sorts of good food, they an
Swered.
"'That isn't the kind Of food to give a dog. No wonder he died. Things
like that don't agree with dogs. He died from overeatng'
$50 if that happened to Dan, think how bad rich food may be for little
boys and girls, and don't fire. toe much when mother denies you q second piece
cake"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
THURSDAY, NOV. 49,, 1913.
NATIONAL PROHIBITION.

The prediction hat national prohi-
Fbition of liquor would be in effect
throughout the United States by 1926
will not be contemptuously cast aside
as the wild dream Of the "reformers"
as it would have been by the liquor
advocates ten years ago. AS a mat
ter of fact, the furfilment of sue a
prediction is a possibility, though
! hardly a probability.
, The anti-liquor advocates have
reached q point in the United States
where they have become a tremendous
force. and their strength has been
continually growing within the past
decade. The ~antl-saloOn movement is
a movement that has to be figured
with.
Everywhere the anti-liquor forces
fare active and united and at the pres
cnt moment national prohibition has
more chance Of becoming a fact han
it ever had before In the history Of
ithe nation.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
IF KIDNEYS and
BLADDER BOTHER
TAKE A GLASS OF SALTS TO
FLUSH OUT YOUR KIDNEYS AND
NEuTRALlZE IRRITATING
ACIDS.

Kidney and Bladder weakness result
from uric acid, says q noted authority.
The kidneys filter this acid from the
blood and pass it on to the bladder,
where 1T often remains to irritate and
%infiarne, causing a burning, sca1ding
sensation, or setting up an Irritation at
the neck of the bladder, obliging YOU IL
seek relief two or three times during.
the night. The sufferer is in constant
dread, thexWater passes sometimes with
a. scalding sensation and lis very pro-
fuse; again, there is dificulty in
ayoidingiit lit.
bladder weakness, most folks. call it,
because they can't control urination.
While it is extremely annoying and
sometimes very painful, this is really
one of the most simple ailments. to-
loyercome. Get about four ounces of
Jad Salts from your pharmacist and
take a tablespoonful in a glass OF wa
ter before breakfast, continue this FOR
two or three days. This will n~eutralize
the acids III the urine SO it no longer
is a source of irritation to the bladder
and urinary organs which then act
normally again.
Jad Salts Is inexpensive, harmless.
and is made from the acid of grapes
and lemon Juice, combined with lithia.#
and is used by thousands of folks WHO
are subject to urinary disorders cans
ed by uric acid limitations. Jad Salts
Ills splendid for kidneys ana causes no
bad effects INDISPENSABLE .ss#4
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
IRISH NAM ES.

Names wild a musical lit of a troll to
EN-,
Names wild a ~rollicking swing and a
roll to 'cm,
Names wild a body and bones of a soul
to EN-,
Sure an they're poetry, darlint
Names wild the smell Of the praties
and wheat to 'em,
Names wild the odor o. sillick and peat
to 'em,
Names wild a lump O. the Jury hang
ing sweet to 'em.
Where can yez bate 'em, the whole
world DER?
Branigan, Flanagan, Milligan, Gilligan,
Duffy, McGuff, Mallarkey, Malone,
RAFFERTY,, Lafferty, Connolly, Donelly,
Dooley, O'Hooley, Muldowny, Ma
Maddigan, Cadigan, Callahan, Hal1a-
han,
Pagan, O'Hagan, O'Houligan. F1vnn
Shanihan, Lanihan, Fogarty, Hogarty.
Kelly, O'Shelley, McGuiness, Maginn.
Names wild a fine old Hibernian sheen
go 'em,
Names wild dewy shamrock clingin'
green to 'em,
Names wild a Whit o. the honest DO.
teen to 'em,
Sure an they're beautiful, darlint
ashore!
Names wild the taste O. the salt o. the
earth to 'em,
Names wild the warmth. O. the ances-
trail hearth to 'em,
Names wild the blood o. the land O.
their birth to 'em,
Where can yez bate EN-, the whole
world Ger?
Author Unknown.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
Accident Records Show Sunday
Is Americas Slaughter Day

New York Times: Lists of dead
and injured which read like those off q
battle led to the establishment of the
sane Fourth.
When Is the sane Sunday to come?
The question puts itself up a re-
view of the pleasure season which is
just ending. Examination of newspa-
per files shows that every Sunday
since the beginning Of April, when the
outdoor season may be said to have
started, has yielded it's harvest OF
dead and injured. '~
So thoroughly is the public coming
to consider the Sabbath in summer as
a day Of tragedy that 1t has been COM
mon during the past few months to
hear people say as they picked up the
Monday morning paper: Well Won
der who was killed yeSterdaY?' d
Tabulation of the reports of acct
dents described in the Monday morn
ing newspapers Of all the big cities of
the United States during the warm
weather months 4of. 1913 would I'm
doubtedly show figures many times in
Excess of those herewith presented.
The figures on which this article is
based were obtained merely. from ex-
Olt4AhAoSACI1 VI Liz LIVE vi I'VE" n
newspapers. For that reason the
deaths and injuries recorded are al
most entirely those from the area near
this city. A few of the more serious
accidents from places as far away as
Chicago found their way into the cas-
ualty list Of local papers, but as a
whole it may be said that the statis-
tics are for accidents near New York.
Thousands of drownings, motor &C.
cidents, picnic ARRAYS, and the other
happenings which make Sunday the
national slaughter day, have occurred
on the first day of the week these few
months past from Tallahassee to
Seattle, of which New York papers
have taken nc, notice. They have been
sufficiently busy with accidents :enar
at hand. And these accidents in what
may be called the New, York. sphere Of
news are sufficient to show that tabu-
lation of the whole nations Sunday
killing and wounding since. April
would be staggering ~ 80
The statistics start with Sunday,
April s, and end with Sunday, Sept.
81. During the twenty-five Sabbaths
of outdoor revelry 173 persons were
killed and ESQ were inquired. OF the in
jured a number undoubtedly died. be-
cause the accounts of many accidents
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
SQUEEZING THE LANDLORDS.

The land question is acute in Eng
Rgand. Ever since the time Of the
bConqueror the country has been large
Fly vaSt estates. Some were used for
Ishooting parks, others were rented
|oat to tenants. Few land owners,
many tenants. has been the rule. This
! condition has persisted because the
! large holdings we're taxed at but a
fraction of their real worth. Despite
the bitter opposition OF the house Of
lords a national land tax was imposed
in 1910, Int others are now contem-
plated. The large estates, for CEN
turtles intact, are being forced upon the
market.
But the tenant class is not favored
by worldly goods, and is not in q po-
land will now be compelled to do for
the English what it has already done
for the Irish-loan money at low rates
to tenants to enable them to buy the
LAID. If Lloyd George has his way,
land courts will be established and the
large holders will be compelled to sell
toS tenants at reasonable rates to be
fixed by the courts.
It is no easy task to combat the
English landed gentry. For ages they
have ruled England. They are the
powerful Of the powerful. The cour-
age shown by Lloyd George in attack
ing the landed monopoly is the reason
he is so ardently supported by the
plain people Of OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES his
unfortunate fling in Marconi.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1913-11-13
EDITORIAL COMMENT
Warming to Reoraanize.

New York Tribune: The result of
the election shows that a houseclean-
ing and reorganization Of the repub-
lican party are imperatively necessary.
1t affords no, comfort to the stand
pat element who postponed > action
until ~after:it Should have been held.
The progressive party vote has
%dwindled, as every one expected it
would, but it is still large enough to
make the republican. yparty's. future
dark unless it's house is set in order
so as to attract and to hold the pro-
gressive-mtnded voters. In only one
Of the three states having, general
elections was the republican party
able to win, n in hat one, New
York, its success, by a narrow margin,
was made possible only through the
most tremendous protest against boss
rule in the democratic party ever re-
corded,