davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

last week the boy was visiting
with friends in the Western Ad-
dition and he was in the seventh
heaven of joy when, at the dinner
table, huekleberry pie was served
He ate one piece that would have
done justice~to a healthy adult,
and the longing look in his eyes
told the hostess palmer than
words could tell that he wanted
a second helping.
The second piece was forthcom-
ing and still that Unsuitable pie
appetite was calling.
Finally he plucked up enough
courage to ask for the third piece,
but the hostess decided it was
time to call halt.
you must not eat so much pie,
dearie.'' she said: .'it will make
you deathly sick
The wise lad replied: II should
worry about gettin' sick on pie.
Don't I live right next door to q
hospital?"
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
.sAnzEg llsN1QG AN NHgRlgl F}p@Qu0Q0 IA
IS Boss BURT and His preo0cious Progeny %Ezas
T7EGS~1 Charlie - "
His Pr@c@cS@ws Pr@g@mY

your Sixty-five? Come on. now, be
square about it. If you don't want it
published. ask them not to do it; but
If you are going to pose as a Fact
Factory. why not pay more attention
to the Quality of the Output and less
to the By-products?"
We appeared to be covering some
rather fertile ground. How about
that?'.I asked Charlie Concessions.
For once ID. Rogatory is right he
answered, but he doesn't get the de-
cision at that. And as~ long as he
wants to stick to Quality, that suits
me. Here are some rather eloquent
figures: The cost of the installation
of Concessions at the st. Louis Fair.
with their one hundred and six acres,
was six million dollars. We will
only have sixty-five acres, but up to
date-over one year in advance of
the opening-we figure the cost of
installation at NINE million dollars,
and predict that it will be one mill
lion two hundred thousand more by
the time the Fair opens
You talk like a Spendthrift Syn
dicate, challenged d. ROgatory
What makes them cost so much?"
Everything that is worth spending
money for" answered Charlie. I'VE
want Novelties, not Noise; Electrical
Effects, not Eruptions. We are not
going to dress this part of the Fair up
with q Whitewash Brush and there
will be no costumes which originally
were worn the other side out. Other
Fairs have tried to compel the At
tendance to create the Atmosphere.
We know it can't be done. I've seen
some clothes, at various Fairs. that
would have died of Fright at the
sight of a sewing machine"
Have any of the Concessions which
are to be at our Fair ever been shown
before?" / interrupted.
"One," replied Charlie, "and that's
the Creation Concession--hnf it has
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

cluded ito give you some idea what
kind of chance the heretofore
FAMOUS Faker will have-This part
of the Panama-Paeific Fair is not go-
ing to finish last in Educational Fea-
tures-and. what is more, each and
every Concession will have to stand
the Vacuum Cleaner Test before they
are allowed to sign Contract
You talk, sputtered D. Rogatory,
as though it would be necessary to
check your hat and rent a halo be-
fore you could visit the Church of
The Concessions-Wh is this going
to be--a Fair or a Revival Meeting?''
Il hope you'll overlook him." apollo
gized Charlie Concessions. turning to
us. HE means we'll, but he is so far
behind the times that if the past ever
wanted to see him it would have to
turn around-sit down-and wait for
him to come into view. There's going
to be nothing lacking in the way of
Carnival Spirit-Fun or Enjoyment
but Director Burt is going to see that
whatever happens in his Department
is well washed and properly ironed."
1000 FOLKS FOR ENTERTAINING
i would be interested in knowing
how many people you figure will be
employed in the Department Of Con-
Not less than seven thousand--and
to save you the trouble of the next
question will add that they will re-
ceive from Three dollars per day
apiece to five hundred dollars a week"
Il am glad you have introduced
matters financial into this interview
as I am curious to know how the
money is to be handled?"
That's the first real question you've
asked" he replied, with a laugh.
land I'd like to have you put this
in heavy type: The Exposition Com
pany itself will handle ONE HUN
DRIED PER CENT of all the money
that's taken in. deduct what is COM
ing to them and pass the balance on
to the Concessionaires. We have it
as an absolute fact that they lost
seven hundred thousand dollars at
the Chicago Fair and the hundred and
forty thousand at st. Louis because
they didn't adopt that system If we
lose three dollars and forty cents it'll
be because 1t evaporated. Few peo-
pie realize 1t. but this Exposition is
going to be run like a bank. II you
want to check against something you
will have to have it's equivalent on
deposit--and you can't make me mad
by undermining that. either" I prom
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
|1flh@ Muse of the
RlaEndh01dling Age
By Lee w. Nelson
START AT THE FOOT

A pretty young girl and rising young sport
Once cllanced to meet at summer resort,
And, all girlies do when they're vacation,
She started out a summer Irritation;
Went right about it in approved style,
With wink of the eye and bright catchy smile
A handkerchief dropped-or perhaps twas glove
And she had him captured in summertime 1ovei
Out the stretches of white shining sand
Wooed he the lassie and sued for her hand;
A heart weak to Cupid's attacks he exposed,
When day, his love waxing strong, he proposed.
my darling thus spoke he will you marry ME?
I young, but still shine in high society,"
The thought of invading the Four Hundred set
Struck her WELL and she said Il accept you, you bet
A -Four Hundred belle she thought that she'd be,
For he'd said he shone in high society.
But his statement, she found did bit of truth lack
Tho twas that he sone-as first class bootblack
The discovery shocked her-but he loved her STILL
And woman learn to love. too, if she will
SO she soon settled down for the rest of her life
To be society shoe sinners wife
Some day." Hubby told her. 1--WE may reach the top
Of society's ladder. but must stop
At the bottom until get ready to climb,
But darling, we may reach the top rung time
Some day with the best of the we'll shine
And it won't be the shoes--lttle wife of mine.
But until high aspirations take root
1t is best if. now commence at the footp'
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
Here's a Funny Story
$50 LabeIed)

Charles Tenney Jackson, the author
spoke of the veracity for newspaper
"A certain newspaper-not mention
ing any names-once printed story
about Harold McGrath and myself. 1t
was good story-a funny story
about an alleged conversation between
McGrath and myself. 1t seems he
asked me how fishing was down my
way, and / asked him how the wheat
crop was, and he said it was rotten.
and we settled down to talk the
Whole evening upon these two topics
This newspaper commented upon
the fact that not once in the whole
conversation were books mentioned.
although we were both supposed to
be authors.
And the funny part of it was that
/ have never met Mr.. McGrath, nor he
me- 1t was all some blissful dream of
an inspired reporter.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

ting it to a point of absolute cer
tainty, we have put our figure of at
tendance at twelve million people.
Statistics are very interesting"
All good story tellers are. brayed
d. Rogatory. II don't like to inter-
rupt Lady, but would you mind tell
ing me on just what you base your
statistics?''
Not at ALL she replied. gently;
1--WE are basing our figures on twenty
eight expositions."
SPENDING POWER IMMENSE
THAT many people represent an
enormous spending power / should
say without knowing anything about
it. .
Indeed, they do" said Miss Admis-
sions, "and / know a great deal about
1t. At the ST. Louis Fair they spent
two dollars and sixteen cents per cap
ita inside of the grounds-at Port
land three dollars and twenty-five
cents-at Seattle three dollars and
fifty-eight cents. We only figure for
this Fair three dollars per capita
though we really believe they will do
much better than that. But I've made
my own clothes long enough to realize
that the time to figure shrinkage is
before the garment goes to the Laun-
dry"
What are they going to charge for
Admission to the Fair? OF course"
added. you needn't answer If it's
supposed to be a secret
"As matter of fact, really do not
know. l believe. however, that the
Directors will eventually decide on
fifty cents for adults and twenty five
cents for children"
"And the admission to the Conces-
sionsy I urged.
A graceful wave of the hand re-
ferred me to Charlie. THAT will de-
pend,' he answered. upon the Conces-
sion. The prices will probably range
from ten cents to fifty cents. but" he
added, you have my permission to
state as emphatically as you know
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

Admissions" explained Charlie. The
question was asked me. but that's out
of my Department. Can you throw
any light on the subject?'
IF it isn't too much trouble, l
supplemented.
None at ALL she answered briskly,
that is what l am here for. Con-
servatively, we estimate that there
are eight hundred thousand people in
what we term the San Francisco or
Local Zone, and statistics go to prove
that even during a six months Fair
the Home Zone people attend ten
times each. OF course. we are going
to run a good deal longer than that.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

lSGQ, UQI axtl4t(
that Editors were
queer people.
ITO get away
from money for a
moment, have you
any figures on
Attendance ?" /
asked.
Charlie got up,
opened the door
and called Agnes,
A very charming,
though business
like young woman
entered the room
and we all stood
up as one man.
Miss Agnes Ad-
missions" intro
duced Charlie Con-
cessions
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22


Burt-without any other ini-
tial, hyphen or adornment
| don't believe any one could
talk to him for five minutes
without being brought to a realiza-
tion that anything as useless and
trite as an extra initial would-as
Tar as he is concerned-have to get
out of the Grounds
1t appears that at one time Frank
Burt was travelling salesman
Gents" Furnishing Goods-and as
what he sold during the day was
generally worn at night. he got into
the habit of frequenting places where
he could see how what he sold by the
dozen looked in broken packages. 1t
is also rumored that he was more or
less fond of wearing an occasional
sample himself. This naturally took
him to places of Amusement-and as
Frank Burt is nothing If not a stu
dent-he acquired a keen knowledge
of just what the Public wanted in the
way or Entertainment, and an ability
10 judge People for what they were
rather than for what they wore.
His knowledge of men is such that
there is no chance for Bad Bounce
As a matter Of fact, / guess it must
be pretty hard to put anything over
on a man who can figure just how
much you stand dressed before Won
have chance to take your gloves off.
So Our Mr.. Burt went into the
Show Business and Our Mr. Burt has
prospered and is famous in his Pro-
fession-He got into the habit of
building Amusement Places and the
Burt Circuit of Parks extends from
Chicago to New York. There is also
well known Circuit Of Popular
Priced Theaters in the United States
known as the Stair and Havelin Cir
cult Mr.. Burt is a member of this
Firn-Stair and Havelin have re-
tired-So did Burt-but he got up
again. l can picture him anything
but a Sound Sleeper
While we were waiting to be called
into Mr.. Burts Office our friend. D..
Rogatory, sauntered through the cor
ridor of the Service Building We
exchanged greetings. ID. Rogatory
looked us over and glanced at the
door of the Department of Conces-
sions and Admissions.
"Burt?"
Yes"
appointment"
Yes"
Then you must be early" muttered
D. Rogatory, as he passed on down the
hall. I'll drop in during the Inter-
view, ne called as he turned the cor
ner- I'D like to get little inside on
the Concessions myself" and he passed
out of sight
DARED US TO ASK QUESTIONS
Our appointment was for IL o'clock
sharp. Between the first and fifth
stroke of that hour lad stuck his
head out of the door, called Murphy
Harris for all the world like a
perfectly well regulated and recently
wound cuckoo clock--and by the last
stroke Mr.. Burt was daring US to ask
him some questions he couldn't an
swer
How many Concessions do you ex-
pect TO have in active operation DUR
ing the Fair?" I asked.
For a reply he swung around in his
chair and touched button There
was substantial knock at the door
IA reply of come in and stalwart
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

you to meet" he
contin ued, ad-
dressing himself
me, my right
to Murphy and
hand, Charlie Con-
cessions. Sit down
Charlie, and don't
be afraid to an
swer any ques-
tions that may be
asked you." and
with that he left
the room.
MIR. c o n C e s.
sions," / began.
@how many of you
do you contem-
plate will be in
operation during 6
the Fair?'
"In round num-
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

but in matters of
this kind it's al
ways better to un-
derestimate than
it is to figure too
high. That will
make eight mil
lion people who
will pass through
our gates. TAX
ing the Outsiders
that is, those
who really travel
a long distance to
come hereat one
million. and allot-
ting to them five
visits each, will
make an addition
al five million
For the purpose,
bowever of get
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

"A woman ought to stay at home
attending to the dinner" said the
man who resents present tendencies.
NO." replied Meekton, If Eve had
been out lecturing instead of passing
round the fruit we'd have been spared
an immense amout of trouble
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

muscles with a
brother comedian
in his dressing
room one evening.
"Just feel the
muscles of my
neck" said Rag
land; put your
fingers around my
throat"
The other fellow
gripped Ragland's
throat, while the
latter set his
.eeth and con-
tracted the mus
cles. He fully
e xp e ct e d some
compliment, but
TO his surprise a
dead silence per-
vaded the dress
ing room.
We'll" he final
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
Couldn't Scare This Kid
He is a pre-

He is a pre-
c 0 C i o u S
youngster of
nearly 5 years
and his father
works in one
of the big
S t o r e s in
Geary street.
The domi-
cile W h e + e
l III l , fOuuS
ster rules su-
preme is next
door to a pri-
vate hospital.
and this lad
has become a
favorite with
the n u + S e s
and internes
at the hospi-
tai.
Or e a a V
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
Thrills in Alias Jimmy Valentine

VI tell you. Red, there isn't
crook you know who wouldn't go
straight if he could
R.-God, but you know what's in
side of man.
VI know what's inside of me. and
I dare face it.
(GirI enters. Red exfts)
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
BIZ Larry Harris

looking young man stepped into the
room.
did you ring?" he inquired, ad-
dressing himself to Mr.. Burt
Il did" replied Mr.. Burt. II want
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22
Difficult to Hang

Oscar Ragland of THE Candy Shop
company at the Gaiety theater, who
prides himself upon being an athlete.
was comparing chest expansion and
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

Please keep your seats" said the
young Lady. seating herself at Mr..
Burt's desk. Can be Of any serv-
ice?
I'VE want little information on
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

ly asked, what do you think of that
for a neck?r
trying to hangNyou, Oscar was the
answer.
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

pursued by Detective Doyle, and
suspecting he has been deserted by
the girl who befriended him when he
was in stripes, Jimmy Valentine is
urged by his former cronies in crime,
Red" and Avery, to join them in a
burglary.) /,
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

! HE Director of Concessions
and Admissions is Mr.. Frank
Burt-without any other ini-
tial, hyphen or adornment.
| don't believe any one could
The San Francisco call., 1913-11-22

,ontinucd on Second Magazine Page
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1913-05-22
SENATE UPHoLDs WILSON.
First Test Vote Indicates Tariff Bill
Will Pass.

First Test Vote Indicates Tariff Bill
Will Pass.
hington.-President Wilson has
control of the situation in the Sen
ate and the way seems to be be open
ing for a victory on his tariff pro-
gramme.
This is the Interpretation put on the
first test vote on the Underwood bill,
which came up.
BY a division of Al to SO the Senate
refused to hold public hearings and
thus sustained the Wilson leaders in
the upper branch.
Two Democrats left the party reser-
walton. They are Ransdell and Thorn
ton, of Louisiana, who are expected
to vote against the tariff bill on its
final passage.
The Democratic forces in the Senate
we're recruited by one vote, that of
Senator Poindexter, of Washington,
the only avowed third party man in
the Senate.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1913-05-22
JOHNSON TELLS
WHY HE SIGNS
Explains Reasons For Sane.
tioning Land Law
NO OFFENSE IS OFFERED
Says Federal Statutes and Treaty Both
Justify Japanese 8ilI-CaIifornia
Executive Asserts Discrimina-
ton Is Against His State.

Sacramento, Cal. - Expressing his
bill recently passed by the Legislature,
Governor Hiram w. Johnson of Cali
fornia telegraphed to William ]. Bryan,
Secretary of State, long explanation
of the action taken by the Legislature.
The message was in answer to the
request telegraphed to the Governor
by Secretary Bryan at the direction of
President Wilson that the bill be We
toed.
son puts the Federal Government in
a position where it will be obliged to
take up the cudgels for California in
fighting the Japanese protest.
Governor Johnson informs Secretary
Bryan that he considers it his duty to
sign the bill unless some "absolutely
controlling necessity demands con-
trary action"
The next move will be for the Unit
ed States Government to make reply.
Secretary Bryan will be obliged to an
swer the protest which Ambassador
Chinda has lodged with him.
The United States certainly will go
to the extent of maintaining that there
has been no violation of the nations
treaty obligations, and Governor John
son, through his message seems to
make it necessary also for the State
Department to oppose Japans COM
plant of offensive discrimination.
Governor Johnson, in his reply to
Mr.. Bryan, contends that the Califor-
MIA bill is fully within the treaty obli-
cations of the United States. He de-
MES fatty also that it carries any in
tended offense to Japan or any other
nation, or that it is discriminatory.
He adds that California has been
forced to pass this bill for the protec-
ton and preservation of the State.
eve must see it or be blind" says
he.
The chief point in Governor John
sons message in his attempt to shift
the responsibility for offensive dis
elimination, if there is any, from the
California Legislature to the National
Government. He contends that there
is no more invidious discrimination
against the Japanese in the California
law than there is in the Federal natu-
ralization law. He charges also that
the same discrimination on the ground
of ineligibility to citizenship occurred
in the immigration law which was en-
acted by Congress at the last session.
Also he points out that the constitu-
ton of the State of California contains
| declaration against the presence in
the State of foreigners ineligible to
| citizenship. CALIFORNIA; Governor
points out that neither this reference
in the constitution nor the alleged dis
| elimination in the naturalization laws
ever has been made the basis of a pro-
! test by Japan.
"The question:" said he, sis not
whether any offense has been taken
but whether justly it should be TAKEN
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1913-05-22
MANY THEFTS OF
U. S. NAVY PLANS
Diagram ofPennsyIvania's Fire
Wiring MysteriousIy Lost
SECRET WOULD AID ENEMY
Taken from Emergency Bureau Night
of March q, When Offices Were
Crowded with Visitors-Other
Ships Plans Also Missing.

Washington.-In spite of efforts to
minimize the incident, the Navy De-
partment is greatly concerned over the
theft of duplicate sets of battle fire
control plans to be installed on the
super-dreadnought Pennsylvania. The
sets were stolen at different times
from the Bureau of Steam Engineer
ing in the Navy Department, the first
on the night of March 4, when the
department building was crowded with
persons watching the fireworks dis
play in honor of Woodrow Wilson's
Inauguration as President. When the
second set of plans disappeared is not
known to the department.
Special agents of the Department of
Justice and representatives of a ma
tionwide private detective agency, as
we'll as the Washington police, have
been called in by Secretary Daniels in
his efforts to run down the mystery.
The thought of what the thief might
have stolen has caused much more
alarm than the knowledge of what he
has succeeded in taking.
About the only real secret connected
with battleship construction nowadays
is the fire control apparatus, that is,
the electrical devices and arrange
ments by which the firing of the big
guns is controlled from a central sta
ton Every nation endeavors to
guard it's fire control devices from
every other.
On the other hand, it is information
about fire control which governments
maintaining navies are most anxious
to obtain in regard to their rivals.
Officers of both the army and navy
are we'll aware that most European
Governments and some others main
tain spy systems and always have in
their pay agents who are expected to
steal from rivals confidential informa-
ton of a military character. The
United States, Of course, has no such
system.
Plans of Notifications have disap-
peared but the thefts have not been at
the War Department. A notable in
stance Of this kind a few years ago
attracted great deal of attention.
Plans of the Notifications at Corregi-
| dor, in Manila Bay, which the army
| has always guarded with more secrecy
than any other defended position, were
picked up on the streets of Bombay,
India, by an officer of the British army.
The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1913-05-22

Albany Churchman Suffered Heart At
tack While in New York City.

Albany Churchman Suffered Heart At
tack While in New York City.
New York.-Bishop William Cros-
we'll Doane of Albany died in his apart
ments in the Hotel Manhattan. The
end came peacefully, after the distin-
guished prelate had been unconscious
for four hours. following an illness
with which he was seized two days
previously while visiting this city.
At the bedside were his four grand
daughters, the Misses Margaret and
Elizabeth Gardner, Mrs. Mary Frazier,
and Mrs. Roy Pier, who had been has
tily summoned.
William Croswell Doane was born
in Boston March 2, 1882, when his
father who later became the second
Bishop of the Diocese of New Jersey.
was rector of Trinity Church in Bos-
ton.