davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
Ready Answer,

Beggar-Can you hedp a pore gent.
mister?
Passer-by-Hum! What sort Of a
gent do you call yourself?
Beggar-A INDECENT, sir.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
Probably in Time

Are you an endseat hog. Tom
mie?"
No ma'am; I'm not old enough to
be hog yet
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28

man is in a bad way if he is unti,
for his own society
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
1T WAS HOT STUFF;
COFFEE, NOT THE KISS

AS overheard by the party at the
next table:
DO You always frown so?"
Hum
You know, when / see waitress
with her lips all pursed up in frown
like yours, l always want to kiss those
lips
Hunt"
And think I'll do it now The
we'll dressed diner in the uptown res
seat and the noise of gentle smack
was waited on the ears of the other
occupants of the place.
"Oh!" exclaimed the pretty waitress.
as She let a cup OF coffee she was
carrying drop.
Huh replied the diner, as he rose
and attempted to brush the boiling
coffee from his Clothes "If have to
get bath after kissing you. I'll call
it quits before the confusion"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
Very Evident.

Jacks wife can't be credited with
good taste"
why not?"
Because everywhere she deals they
make her pay cash.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28

A woman married to good fellow
usually has a bad time of it,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
A Swan Soma.


mercial club. Written for the 10,
State Convention of Third and Four
class Postmasters, Cedar Rapids, i
August sc. 1913. Tune, Good BY. Dol
Gray"
We have come to say good by,
Woodrow dear.
But we shall not bat an eye,
Never fear
When you tell US Here's your hat.
What's your hurry?" we stand pat.
For we see where we are at
Pretty clear.
CHORUS.
Goodby Woodrow. we must leave you.
Though we hate like h to CO.
We've a hunch it will not grieve you.
For they say you need the dough.
We should worry at our calling,
But we do not give d,
Goodby Woodrow, quit your stalling.
GoodDy, Uncle Sam.
All our dreams of graft have passed,
From our view.
And we've registered our last
Billet doux.
When we can the r. F. d.
And cut out the NJ. O. B.
Then We'll sound the C. @. ID.
CHORUS.
Pretty soon there'll be no more
Trains to catch.
We can leave the outside door
On the latch.
Then Well put away the scales.
When we figure up the sales.
And become outgoing males
With dispatch.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
Turning About.

Turning About.
"ls there scrap of evidence about
that flght?"
Yes. and it is the evidence of
scrap"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28

If you would save money. never be'
on sure thing.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-08-28
Delightful Evenin,

They tell me you are very fond Of
good music"
Never mind. Continue. Rire
(Paris.)
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1913-01-17

The matter Of drifting for
oil in Guthrie and environs is
important. Guthrie must not lag
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-08-22

y besides 49, - sss.s4esH
and msats gymnasium, syImming Dool
sgl,yabd ~ 9l>ldlary buildings, 81 in Fac
Florida c6 S,nstrs. s22 young men from az
Countries ssut'les, and 81 States and foreign
ddissASOE FFFissE r. b. BOARD AND EN-
y 'or catalogue i'4'0' per year. Write to-
A AIuRPHREE, Presidsn,
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-08-22

$50 q ' ~
buildings and nfst-clhss eQui w eii
throughout including gymnasium and
swimming pool. AZ members OF the faculty
and other officers. 4l3 students from 10
Florida counties and Ia states, -
TuTTToN FREE BOARD AND EN-
TRANCE FEES, Sl240O per year. For in
'0i '''' ''G EDWARD CoNRADI, President
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-08-22

T.. Tmposng Licenses and Other Taxes Pro-
~ PAYMENT Thereof and Prescribing Penalties
! RRS5siness Without a License, or Other Failure
Wifh the Provisions Thereof.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1913-08-22

Auctoneers, in cities towns 10000 inhabitants or NOR.
shall pay license tax of Sis each. - e'
In cities and of than 10000 inhabitants shall
pay a license tax of $40 each. ''
Absractos of titles: Each individual firm corporation or
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
AS EACH SIDE SAW 1T

According to American reports thirty
Mexican soldiers fired at the American
cavalrymen on the American side of
the boundary and were driven off. Ac-
cording to Mexican reports ten Amer
lean cavalrymen fired at three Mex
lean woodcutters on the Mexican side
OF the line and were driven off.
AS to the international relations Of
this affair both reports may be hon
estly made. Except the part of it made
by the Rio Grande, the boundary b.
tween the United States and Mexico
is an imaginary line, and men on
either side might pass it without
knowing it.
Those Mexicans may have been III
the United States while thinking them
selves still in Mexico or the Ameri-
cans may have been in Mexico while
thinking they we're still in the United
States. So as far as the boundary is
concerned each side may have meant
to tell the truth.
But when it comes to the point of de-
Gliding who was the bully boy with a
glass eye,' we can't give both sides
credit for sincerity. Is is not prob
able that the Mexicans thought they
were only three when they were really
thirty, or that the Americans thought
they were thirty when they were really
three.
But even in this respect one side Or
the other may have reasoned that the
differences between three and thirty
was only a cipher, and that a cipher
was nothing. They may have thought
that putting on or taking off mere
cipher didn't matter, and so put on II
took it off according as by the addition
or elimination they would make them
selves bravet OF course, each side
reported that the other side ran. Tho
affair was too far out in the wilderness
for the presence of any bystande''s
who might tell the truth.-Jacksonvili5
Times-Union.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Memphis, Tenn. Oct. 2.-Baptized
in bath tub following conversion and
joining the Baptist church on what
she considered to be her death bed,
was the self-imposed experience of
Mrs. Lethe Barker, of this city.
Suffering from typhoid fever, Mrs.
Barker felt death drawing near and
Rev. S. G. Savage, a Baptist minister,
called She professed religion soon
after and insisted that she be baptized
after the tenets of the Baptist church I.
Members of the family protested AS
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

to the kitchen, and after being used
must be thrown out. With the wash
ing of clothes, drawing OF water for
cooking or bathing purposes or to
scrub the floor, it is asserted that a
ton of water is a conservative estimate
Of what the average woman on a farm
without proper plumbing must carry
The farmers ought to learn that t
will be cheaper in the long run to buy
an electric motor and put in their own
plumbing. The women really have the
hard end of the work on the farm.
The husband gets out in the field AMI
does his work in the fresh air and I'M
der healthy sun. The women must
do almost as much manual labor and
work longer hours indoors.
We have been teaching the farm ar
how to raise better crops and get bet
ter roads, but until Secretary Houston
sent out the letters to the farm wives,
we have done nothing for the women,
upon whom, as a matter of fact, the
success of the farm largely depends.
1t is no wonder that the women have
been anxious to get away from farm
life. They have a much easier time
in the big cities, where they don't have
to feed hungry farm hands.
If the young men are to be kept on
the farms, their mothers must be made
more satisfied with the life. The wa.
to keep the husbands, boys and girl
there is to give the mother more hap
piness. If she is contented, she will
see to it that the others are contented
Both Secretary Houston and Mr.. Sac
dell are on the right track-Washing
ton Post
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
TO THE. CITIZENS THAT HAVE THE
FUTURE OF AMERICUS AT HEART

We, the executive committee of the
board Of directors of the local Y. NJ.
C A. building, deem, it necessary TO
now make public certain facts in re-
gard to the affairs of this institution
which we are sure are of interest to all
patriotic citizens
Some years ago this building was
erected at cost of approximately
S40O00.0O. Only about $22,00O.O0 OF
this amount was paid, the building
committee that had this work in hand
at the time having been unable 10
raise a greater sum. This left bal
ance due of about $18,OOOOO.
To cover this deficiency a first mort
gage was given on the building and
grounds, and bonds were issued and
sold and in this way $12,500.00 was
raised. The remainder of the indebt-
edness is represented by notes and OPP
en- accounts. All of this Indebtedness
is now past due and must be paid
without delay, if the property is to be
saved from sale under mortgage fore
closure. If we are to retain the Y. NJ
c. A. building for the city of Americas
it is necessary that we put our should
ers to the wheel NOW; and we MUST
do so, if we expect our city 70 compare
favorably with others in our state.
The present board of directors were
appointed last year by the pastors and
active officers of our different churches
to take hold of this cause and try tc
provide some way to save the property
The members of this board have no.
only cheerfully served in this capacity
but have themselves already subscrib
ed and paid about 100000 in casr
i'll an effort to stave off a threatened
receivers sale, hoping meanwhile t;
be able to devise some plan to raist
the amount necessary to save the prop
erty; and they are still willing K
subscribe literally; but it certain!y
cannot be expected of them to pay thu
entire indebtedness.
There is to be meeting at the Y
M. c. A. building next Sunday morn
ing, October 5th, at eleven o'clock anC
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
MAKING FARM WOMEN HAPPY

A. P. Sandell, secretary of agricul-
ture for Ohio, has reached the inter-
esting conclusion that the hope If
keeping boys on the farm might as
we'll be abandoned unless the girls can
be kept there, too. He adds:
The cultivating of the woman is
a bigger job today than making
poor ground yield Modern educa-
ton must not take away the corn
erstone Of motherhood. The pres
ent price of women's hearts and
poor cooking is sending more men
to Hades than the saloons.
Support is thus furnished for Secra-
tary Houstons action in sending ont
letters to $4,000 farmers wives, asking
them to make suggestions for improy.
ing life on the farm. 1t has been esti-
mated that a woman on a farm carries
about a ton of water every day. the
water must be carried from the pump
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

services at our different churches will
be suspended in order that all may be
present. The purpose of this meet
ing is to provide ways and means to
save this property. We hope all citi-
zens who feel keen interest in Amer
icts and its future pbuilding-moral-
ly, spiritually and commercially-will
attend this rally and contribute az
cording to his means. If every one WI
thus respond there will be no hard
ship on any one, and the Y. NJ. C. A
building will be saved.
THIS STATEMENT SPEAKS FOR
ITSELF. IF THE RIGHT THINKING,
LEvEL-HEADED BUSINESS MEN
AND OTHER CITIZENS OF OUR CITY
HOLD BACK AND DO NOT COME
OUT SUNDAY MORNING AND AT
TEND THIS MEETING, AND Do NOT
SUBSCRIBE THEIR PROPORTION
ATE SHARE, WHY THEN THE
AMERICUS Y. M. c. A. WILL BE NO
MORE-THERE WILL BE A RECEIV-
ER'S SALE-AN UNFORTUNATE
ISGRACE-WHICH THE PEOPLE
OF OUR CITY WILL REGRET IN
THE YEARS TO COME.
We wish to appeal especially to yoI
Americas men who have had oppor-
! tunities to knoY and appreciate the
value of the Y. NJ c. A, and what il
means to young men and boys.
Please do not stand back and ex-
pect some other to do your part, as this
is certainly YOUR duty; and the pres
ent board of directors simply take this
means of placing this squarely before
you, in order that you may ponder and
decide this question for yourself All
thereby relieve themselves of any just
grounds for criticism hereafter.
Now, gentlemen, shall we lose this
property or come forward and do our
duty? 1t is up to each and every
che of us. Respectfully,
! L. G. COUNCIL, Chairman.
c. c. HAWKINS,
N. NJ. DUDLEY,
c. P. DAVIS,
w. NJ. CROOK,
! Members of Executive Committee
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

The farmers are taking hold of the
idea of a Sumter county exhibit at the
fair Reports from every section in
dicace that the old county is going to
be well represented The manufactuf-
ing industries of the city of Americus
are also planning to follow our sug
gestion and Americas Made Goods"
win be prominent in Macon.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Former Mayor Osborne, of Auburn,
n. Y, may not experience any hard
ship in living in Jail for a while, but
think of a poor convict who had to
serve as mayor of Auburn!
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
4 TRAIN WHERE HE
USED TO DRIVE A COACH

In the Interesting People" Depart
ment of the October American Maya
zine appears a Sketch of Thomas
Ryan. who to-day is conductor of Z
passenger train running on the same
route over which he used to drive ?
stagecoach over fifty years ago. TIE
following is an extract:
Thomas J. Ryan is his name. Dur
ing the Civil War period he was a
stage driver on every division of the
Overland Route, from Missouri River 70
Salt Lake City. Also he was a freigh--
er, in pioneer days, working with a
wagon train between Council Bluffs,
Iowa, and Denver. His frontier eXpe-
rience likewise includes the time he
was employed by railroad contractors
when the Union Pacific was being built
through the raw territory Of Wyoming.
These last forty year, over the same
trail where formerly he held the reins
as driver of the old Concord coach.
Mr.. Ryan has been conductor of a pas
senger train. In territorial days, as
soon as the railroad was built between
Nebraska City and Lincoln, he was the
first brakeman. Continuously ever
since then land he will be seventy in
December) he has been trainman on
the same line, running between those
same terminal points.
In reviewing the events of his ad-
venturous career, this veteran stage
driver was saying the other DAY Back
in the early SOS we knew nothing of
Western bad men. They weren't there
not, at least, until after the War. Nc
coach was held up and road agents
were unknown. Treasure, in those
days, we used to carry in the iron ex
press box under the drivers seat.
mind the time when sixty thousand
dollars was being transported from
Denver to st. Joe. Close to Godfrey 8
Ranch the stage broke down and there
il stood for a solid week, nobody near
and nobody guarding it. The express
messenger didn't bother to remove The
money
"As for Indian scares, we didn't
know of the like-not then. Even the
Sioux and Cheyennes were friendly. If
you wanted to shoot game, Indian hun
ters you'd be glad to go with you. If
you lost a mailbag off the coach, You
appealed to the Indians to help you
find it. Those were the days when we
didn't suppose the time would ever
come when the whiz of hostile arrows
would give a man goose-fesh--or
worse
That time did come.
"'Then was the time he said, when
we had more than one bobble with the
Indians. Every stage carried two mer
as guards. And when attacked-well
the thing to do is to pull your horses
to a dead stop. Down hop the guards
Passengers get out, women and all
Many a woman l have seen, gun-belt
ed. cool, as steady in action as the
town marshal of New Julesburg wher
that town was the worst hell-hole u
the West
! While you hold your six-hors
team, everybody scatters. They g.
away from the coach They sprawl on
fat on the ground and burn their pow
/ red careful. As soon as two or tire
Indians 60 heeling over their ponies
! the fight is over Even when the Siou
raiders were armed with muzzle-load
ing guns. they didn't stand much sho
against the improved, long-range rifle!
of the guards and the passengers "
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
pEyICE TELEPHONE ........ NO. 80
All subscriptions payable in ad-

All subscriptions payable in ad-
vance.
Advertising rates promptly furnish
cd upon application.
Memorial Resolutions, Resolutions
e.. Respect, Obituary Notices, etc.,
other than those which the paper may
deem proper to publish as news mat
ter, will be charged for at the rate of
cents per line.
All advertising copy requiring two
columns of space or less should be in
the business office not later than noon
of day prior to date of issue in order
to insure its prompt insertion. All
copy for space of more than two col
umns should be submitted not later
than O'Clock of the day, two days
prior to date of issue.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
INVALID BELIEVED Dying BAPTIZED
IN A BATHTUB is NOW RECOVERING

we'll as her physician, but the stricken
woman persisted. She was taken to a
bath room, immersed in the water and
pronounced to be whole.
The patient rallied after her baptism
and now is believed to have a slight
chance for recovery.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Atlanta voters put the stamp of APP
proval on Beavers and the reform
crowd when they turned down Wood
wards men for oldermen.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

The income tax gives $40 a year as
a reward for marriage. Now, if Con-
gress will only find some woman VINO
will live On mat sum, everybody Will
be happy.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Twelve thousand five hundred dol
lars of the eighteen thousand five
hundred still owed on the Y. NJ. c. A,
is money that was subscribed at one
time but that has never been paid.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Enthusiasm is the airship that car
ries us away through the clouds, and
disappointment is the hard old place
we land with that dull, sickening thud.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

With cotton lowering around II
cents, Sumter county farmers see q
silver lining to the high cost of liv-
ing crowd.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Are you willing to acknowledge that
Americas couldn't pay for the Y. NJ c.
A? That is what you'll do if you allow
ii to be sold on the block on the 18TH.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
One Consolation

"Well, there's one thing you can say
for Harry Thaw."
Whats that?"
He has put some towns on the map
that were never there before"
And that ism. all"
NO"
'No--he has started a lot Of people
to studying law Exchange.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Women earning less than $4,000 per
eannum with husband to support will
mot be worried by the income tax.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Are you enough interested IN the flu
ture of Americas to turn out to the
mass meeting Sunday?
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

The Balkan wars are the nearest
thing to perpetual motion we have ev-
er heard of.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

F'hen man RAISES a saloon IN
Iayday and gets SAFELY home with his
money he feels as though somebody
prCat to hang gold medal On him.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

A regular feature of the Sunday
papers is the list of automobile acct
dents, says the Nashville Tennessean.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Although Mr. La Toilette voted for
the tariff bill, he seems to have been
treated as an unbidden guest. d.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

Now that you are getting a good
price for your cotton subscribe to The
Times-Recorder.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03

It nearly tickles fat woman to
death to run up on the steps without
falling.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
Am<ficus, Ga, October 3. 1918

Women sonsider selecting their new
hat head work"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
OFFICIAL ORGAN:
City of Americas.

6UMLHT COUNTY.
Webster County.
Railroad Commission of Georgia For
Third Congressional District.
u. s. Court, Southern District Of
Georgia.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1913-10-03
On a Chain

Mary had a little dog;
We hasten to explain
1t was a watch" dog-that is why
She kept it on a chain.-Ex.
The Clay City times. [volume] (Clay City, Ky.) 1901-current, 1913-05-08
Married In Ohio.

The Rev. Chss. &. Mann sur.
prised his many friends here by
going over to his old home in O..
hio where he and Miss Florence
Hays, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs.
Robert Hays, were married at
the residence of the brides faith.
er atGollege Corner, Ohio, April
oath. He returned to Clay City
Thursday with Mis- bride and will
shortly go to housekeeping in the
Wright properly. The numer.
Gus friends of the groom in Clay
City JOIN his congregation in ex.
tending hearty congratulations
and wish for them Il long happy
married life.
The Clay City times. [volume] (Clay City, Ky.) 1901-current, 1913-05-08
No Free Advertising.

1t seems necessary to again
call attention TO the fact that
items of personal interest are
paid matter. We gladly publish
all items of neighborhood or gen.
eral interest, but must have pay
for all items Intended to boost
individuals. The Times aims to
run on business principles, pub
fishing everything that will in.
terest our readers IN general,
but we must refuse to publish
some items sent 10 because they
are pufs and often benefit only
Il few individuals, who frequent.
ly never did and never will sub
scribe for or pay for their local
paper.
The Clay City times. [volume] (Clay City, Ky.) 1901-current, 1913-05-08
Accidentally Shoots Self.

Boyd Curry, merchant at Gree
ly, Lee county, Friday night
while chasing rat that had just
caught a young chicken, with
revover IN hand, stumbled and
discharged the weapon which
took effect in his knee, inflicting
a most painful and probably dan
gerous wound. His knee cap was
cut completely in two. He was
Saturday taken to the hospital at
Lexington. Mr.. Curry Is a broth.
er-in-law of II. Il. Crabtree, of
fhis city.