Norwich bulletin., 1913-10-07
WHEN THE DEACON CALLED

and semeoas might say something mean
 headstene within a week, and Mary won't care how many lambs are on top of it. Then you want te spruce up and look your best. 1 must tell ye uthat Mary Is 8 4eetle romantic, and -yeu want te be the same. Washing and ironing will take it out of her after while, but yeu don't want te cut Y eff toe short"
 T don't believe I could be romantic"
 "Yes, you could. All you've got to de is to talk about shady aells har- vest moons, eutumn flowers and float ing clouds, Mary has got over $3000 in cash in the bank. and itn be all yours. Pm no matchmaker, Deacon, but l tell you that you orter marry and that the woman to fill the bill is my sister Mary
 The Deacon shouldered the hoe he had come D borrow, and started for his cornfield and as he worked he thought. By sundown he had come to a conclusion, and 1t wasn't many days before the barber in the near est town was applying the dye to his grizzIed locks. He began to notice the clouds; the sunsets and the wild flowers around him and he had learn ed his lesson pretty well when Aunt SallyS sister appeared
 She had been posted by letter about the Deacon, and they got on well to- gether from the start. Three nights a week the Deacon went over to Aunt SaQy's to spark Mary, and there was fresh grease on his hair every time. He did his best to be romantic, and there was no doubt in his mind that he was succeeding when fortune play ed him a shabby trick.
 He had been invited to supper and after the meal he and Mary wandered II, AI.- they found seat on the top rail of the meadow fence, and as the Dea- con was thinking of something TO- mantle to say he observed a spot where the g,5ldenrod was growing in profdsion. There was a connection golden hopes and golden heaps, and he asked the widow if he might cuu her a bouquet.
 Some widows would have called him Gully and told him to cull away, but this widow simply cried out in her en- thusiasm and said nothing so sweet was to be found in all Indiana The Deacon jumped off the fence and ambled across 200 feet of meadow for the flowers.
 He cannot be held blameIess for what followed. A farmer who has hunted the humble bee to his lair a hundred times over should know when
  nest in the grass between the Deacon and the goldenrod, but he did not dodge it. Or the contrary, with a smile on his face and his heart beat ing faster than usual, he walked right through it. The insects were just go- ing to roost for the night, but when their coat tails were trod on they changed the programme.
 The Deacon felt the very first sting. He also felt a dozen subsequent stings, and the romance of his soul disap- peared like 8 summer frost.
 When he started to run ne galloped for the woods but in his confusion he galloped the other way. The widow was sitting on the fence and wondering over his antics when he arrived, The bumbles arrived with him. It made no particular differ enCe to them whom they stung, and a score or more paid their attentions to the lady. The wells of the victims were heard Tor half a mile.
 1t took Aunt Sally and her hus- band and hired man and several brooms and branches to win the vic tory, and the Deacon had to be led home and the widow carried te bed.
 After a week she had recovered sufficiently to see the Deacon out of one eye when he called. He still had a nose like q turnip, cheek all swelled out and an ear that re- SefnDleu q COW B. AuHL iSally met niIn at the door with broom in her hand, and before Ee could say 8 word she exclaimed:
 'Shoo! Shoo! Go away. Deacon!"
 But what for?'' he asked.
 Cause you don't know romance from bumble bees, and Mary wouldn t have you if you was the last man on earth. Go and cull. some soft soap and water and soak your head.' St. Louis GIobe-Democrat.