The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1913-05-16
AN AESTHETIC
WIDOW
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

feet tall and weighed nearly 200
pounds. The Widow LongbOdy had a
female friend over at Clover Hill. who
had become aesthetic. She saw beau
ty In the despised sunfiower. She pal
plated when she saw catnip growing
She raised her eyes to heaven over
burdocks and pigweeds. At the first
go of the widow laughed about it. but
when seriously informed that II was
the thing 30 do she adopted 1t.
Deacon Tracy, widower, had beeL
counting the widow and had almost
decided to pop the question. He had
dropped In and was just clearing his
throat to say something that the world
has forever lost when she stopped him
with:
Deacon. you look like fright with
those whiskers. and hope you will
have them boed off before you cali
again.
Hoe off these ere whiskers." he
exclaimed in amazement. by gum.
but do you know what you're talkin'
aboutY
4hCh lOi SANE SGl lnGLu
dyed! The color CRATES on mev'
I'D like to see myself feedin' dye to
them whiskers. Anything else on your
mind?"
You drag your legs when you WALK
II do. EN-? | remind you Of an old
knee sprung horse, do 1? Waal. kin
drag them legs right outer your house
and take my whiskers with EN-
Mr.. Johnson. who bought butter and
eggs and shipped them away to the
city, had also an eye on the widow
Longbody. She always entertained him
very pleasantly when he called, and he
had begun to feel the rose Of love
blooming in his heart. On what proved
to be his last call the widow queried
of him:
"Mr. johnson, why don't you wear
wig?'
IA wigr
Eyes. a wig. You always sit with
your legs poked out like pair of posts.
A man with such shanks as yours ought
to hide 'emr'
II have been insulted. woman! III
leave your housed"
"And have your eyebrows thinned
outw was the widows parting shot.
In front of the widow Longbody's
home ran stream they were pleased
to call Plug river. A bridge across It
had long been needed and talked Of
and the county finally voted it.
k,iA. To- ho Tea -
has always been painted red, If painted
at all. 1t was red for this bridge. The
widow was away for three days. and
when she returned the bridge was half
painted.
stop, stop. 1t cannot be: 1t shall
not bel" cried the aesthetic.
whats the kick?' asked the man
who had the work in charge.
1T screams. 1t bowls! II shrieks'
1t murders harmony and kills the land
scape! could not live here day with
that red thing staring me in the face.
Ughw
She was told that she would have to
endure it or move. Aestheticism was
all right when applied to sunfiowers
and bull thistles. but when it came
down to red bridges that was a mat.
ter of business.
"Oh, 1t is. eh?' was answered. "Weh,
there's another thing that is matter
of business"
Along the western side Of the town
the widow owned strip Of land which
had hill on tia hill and spring.
With her free consent the water WAS
piped down from the spring to supply
many families and used to sprinkle the
When they refused to change
the color of the bridge the water re-
fused to flow downhill. The people
howled, but they were helpless. After
a week II was agreed that the aesthetic
might name the color. She decided on
a pearl gray. After third of the
bridge had been covered she changed
1t to vivid green. Then she wanted
white with green trimmings.
mo more fooling!" was the decision
Of the taxpayers when they realized
that the widow Longbody might final
ly demand that the bridge be covered
with gold leaf.
Every WELL" replied the woman as
she prepared her second surprise.
Her husband had opened street for
his own convenience and had never
decided 1t to the town. People had
bought sites and erected houses. They
suddenly found themselves fenced In.
When they went to the lawyers the le-
gal talent hunted the matter up and
replied:
IF you touch the fence she can have
you arrested for trespass"
The town hated to be beaten by q
woman and was talking about big
lawsuit when along came lightning
rod man. He was a Jim dandy of a man
He was a wooer from Wooerville. He
talked and he wooed and he won
In a fortnight he had won the widows
heart and hand. When this fact was
the bridge committee called
On her to ask:
"well. what about the bridge?"
"Paint II any old color you want tor
"And that fence across Kirby streetT
"Tell 'em to tear II DOWN.
"And you--you are no longer aes.
theticT'
mot by darned sight! Jim and ]