The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-28
II
HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

= Y y = = D Il 4 i 4
DO you know hat there is one ac-
complishment that counts as much in
making ones self attractive as does IA
beautiful face or a fine figure, yet
which every n may possess? There
Is. and 1t is strange that so few real
ize its value sufficiently to cultivate
it. 1t is the art Of being a good lis
tener.
Every one appreciates and even en-
vies' brilliant conversational powers.
for truly they are invaluable, and in
cldentally they, too. may be acquired
through practice, but do not lose
sight of the fact that 1t requires rare
talent to be a good listener.
In the first place. YOU must give to
the conversation your undivided at
tent1on. The subject under discussion
may not particularly interest you, but.
since you are placed in the position of
having a part in it. play the part sim
cerely. Giv your earnest attention. I
repeat. for anything less is not only
a poor compliment to the person with
whom you are in conversation, but a
positive discourtesy. Also, to be but
an Indifferent listener, showing obvi-
ously that your mind is wandering to
other subjects. shows lack of poise.
Breaking in upon another's talk or
ou AihPollSiISe luz lleT 10 iii.
ish SO that o may have a turn is,
of course, objectionable, though oft
Ell done through over-interest rather
than a lack of it. Nevertheless, in
terrupting is a common enough habit,
and n that should be cured.
Keep yourself in hand, ask ques-
tons that will help. and, by the same
token, avoid those that You know will
start up unpleasant argument or call
forth caustic remarks. Kindness has
no more forceful expression than the
attitude Of two persons in
ton. referring not only to the words
but to the personal manner.
Remember not to reveal the fact if
you have heard before a story that an
other has begun: don't embarrass the
II telling it. even after she has fin
ished her tale. by aprising by word or
manner that it is not fresh to you. If
others are impolite enough to inter-
rupt a speaker or the conversation is
turned through an interruption. make
it your part. in the role Of a perfect
listener. to venture a remark or a
query that shall u~nobtrusively lead
back and set the broken-of conversa-
ton afioat again and put the original
speaker at her ease. a little practice
will enable o to do this readily and
wv you VIZ We sui " tSNu
what an effect even SO small "a habit
will have in increasing your personal
magnetism. and therefore your pop
larity.
If YOU are minded. YOU per-
haps have the habit of looking either
too fxedly at your vis.a-vis or else
that Of persistently avoiding looking
at her at all. Correct yourself upon
this point. as also of the habit of gaz-
ing tiNcdlN at any particular part OF
the speakers attire. You have All
been subjected to that experience. and
you know how annoying 1t is to he the
rictim-to have the person with
whom YOU are in conversation look at
your brooch or your couture. as if she
were merely waiting for you TO stop
speaking to tel! you something was
wrong with it.
Listen quietly. avoid laughing i'm
moderately. and suppress tho inane
rigsle with which nervous persons are
1T to show that they are sympathetic
steners. Above all things. try to
nave your features express intelli-
gence: the vapld expression assumed
by many II listener is disconcerting.
Just as an actor feels the sympathy
ii his audience. and il at his hest ar-
cording to the degree of 1t. SO, in con
vcrsation. ar attentive listener is vast
~ appreciated and a pleasure to meet.