The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-10-15
CAUSED MUCH
CONNECTION

~ hfT ITa.fH VI
They have had more trouble at
our meeting house.
Last Sunday Rev. Mr.. Moody was
just beginning his sermon and had
utterede the words, Brethren, |
wish 10 direct your attention this
morning to the fourth verse Of the
twelfth chapter Of Saint--A" when a
hen emerged from the recess be-
meath the, pulpit. As she had Just
laid an egg, she INTERRUPTED Mr.. Moo
d. to announce the fact to the con-
gregation; and he stopped short as
she walked out into the aisle scrcech-
ing! Kuk-kuk-kuk-kuk-te-ko! Kuk-
kuk-kuk-kuk-te-ko"
MIR. Moody contemplated her for
moment. and then concluded to so
on; but the sound OF his voice SEEM
ed to provoke her to rivalry, and so
she put on a pressure of Ave or six
pounds to the square inch. and made
such a racket that the preacher stop
ped again and said
Twill Deacon, Grimes please re-
move that disgraceful chicken from
the meeting house,"
The deacon rose and proceeded
with the task. He first tried to drive
her toward the door, but she lodged
him, and still clucking vigorously,
got under the seat in the front pew.
Then the deacon seized his umbrella
and scooped her out into the aisle
again, after which he tried to "shoo"
her toward the door, but she darted
into a pew, hoped over the parti-
ton, came down In the opposite pew,
and in the side aisle, making noise
like a steam planning mill. The dea-
con didn't like to climb over after
her, so he went around, and just as
he got into the side aisle the hen
few over in the middle aisle again.
Then the boys in the gallery laughed
and the deacon began to grow red in
the face.
At last Mr.. Blnns came out Of his
pew to help, and as both he and the
deacon made a dash at the chicken
from opposite directions, she flew up
with a wild cluck to the gallery and
perched on the edge, while she gave
excited expression to her views by
emitting about 500 clucks minute.
The deacon flung hymn book at her
10 Scare her down again, but he miss
ed her'and hit Billy Jones, a Sunday
school scholar. in the eye. Then an
other boy in the gallery made dash
at her, and reached so far over that
he tumbled and fell on Mrs. Mis-
keys summer bonnet, whereupon she
said out loud that he was predestined
to the gallows.
The crash scared the hen, and she
flew over and roasted on the stove
pipe that ran along just under the
ceiling. fairly bowling with fright. In
order to bring her down the deacon
and Mr.. Binns both beat on the lower
part of the pipe with their umbrellas
and at the fifth or sixth knock the
pipe separated and about 40 feet Of
it came down with a crash. emptying
a barrel or two of last winters SCOT
over the congregation.
Thcra were women In the congre-
CATION who went home looking as 1t
they had been working in coal mine
and wishing they could stab Deacon
Grimes without being hanged for
murder.
The hen came down with the
stovepipe, and as she flew by Mr..
Blhns he made a dash at her with
his umbrella and knocked her clear
through a SIS pane of glass, where
upon she landed in the street and
hopped off clucking insanely. Then
Mr.. Moody adjourned the congrega-
ton.
They are going to expel the owner
of that hen from church when they
discover his identity.