The Washington herald., 1913-03-09
THE BOOK Agent
WHO LAUGHED

Tho crowd in the Pullman smoking
compartment had been swapping odds
and ends OF experiences.
II seemed to be the turn of the Re-
formed Book Agent to make his contri-
button to the conversational fund.
You know" he began. as he reached
across to borrow a safety match, every
salesman has teen instructed, l suppose.
at some time or other to maintain as
pleasant and jovial demeanor as possible
in meeting the trade. man bubbling
over with ioviality is supposed to carry
with him an asset that he can capitalize.
But I'm going to tell you how my feel
ings OF good humor queered the first sale
/ ever attempted.
Several years ago / was a youngster,
holding down my first real job. I was a
billing clerk with a concern down i'll
Columbus, Ohio That had been to my
liking. because II did not require me to
come directly in contact with the public.
and ] had no knack for meeting people.
But as the Job was in Columbus. Ohio.
was anxious. of course. to strike some
thing that would take me TO some other
town. one day q friend of mine by the
name Of Martin. and nicknamed Squire.
went down to Memphis. Tenn. because
he had 1t :igIred out that brisk young
business man from the North would
shine among easygoing southerners and
that he might annex enough of their
money for 4 stake.
About a week after he'd struck the
Memphis town received a telegram
from him one afternoon telling me to
hustle to Memphis to hold down a sine
cure job he'd picked out for me. / didn't
wait to learn further particulars. for it
was January, and the Southern climate
sounded reasonable ] told my concern
to get itself new billing clerk. and then
blew.
And what d'yuh suppose the job was
that my pal had for me? He didn't have
any job for me. that's what he didn't
have. But he'd got lonesome for a ia
miliar face and sent for me. He wanted
company. ard / was the goat. I al
most wished l was back in Columbus,
Ohio hut l made the best OF it. or tried
TO. which wasn't easy when I counted
UP my cash bonds. notes, and negotiable
securities ard found that, after paying
for a room Il week in advance I would
have on hand a total of $40.
We'll. began to look around for
something to take the place Of that
dream job Squire had telegraphed
about-breakiny n his last g. to send the
message. as he afterward confessed-anl
night watchman in the yards OF the Illi-
nois Central Railroad. | would start .put
every evening with a lantern and then
sneak off to my room a few blocks away
and go &c bed. for the yards seemed too
lonesome to spend the night tramping
around between rows Of box cars and
there was no telling when one might en-
counter Some total stranger with harsh
words at his Command But il was
good deal Of nuisance getting ont Of
bed mornings in time to turn in nv lam
tern with half the oil poured out after
ten hours Of night watching. and. be-
sides. they had a man follow me one
night when I ducked for my room and
decided that ! wasn't success as A
night watcher. so l gave up that job and
bad tn look around for something else
"As I walked up toward the Gayosa
Hotel, where | had been going each day
to pick my teeth after nv free lunches
noticed a sign in n window about a.
magazine firm that wanted men to do
soliciting and acquaint people with their
great premium offer. | Went In to see
what kind If an outfit the magazine
bunch were. and found that they were