The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-07-03
ABatch ofSmiles

i ma" or NAY not be charged in the
o.-!, ou- = Is uTe 20 be paid Cor.
Probably even thu most generous t-av-
e!e-. however. Will have some SYM
AA:ay -: the gentleman in the toi-
:4"!og story, VAC Was made 20 pay
-.9e:a-ly -or ! certain Annoying priv
.!rZe.
During his stay a. ,he hotel the
"ea:ner mad been very hoc.
Charles sad .he landlord 20 the
c!e-a "ao vas making out the bill
10 % Presented 20 the departing
slest, nave you noticed nat the
gentleman IN No. : has consulted the
thernornete. IN the piazza a. leas,
zen tines every morning during his
stay here"
Charles replied ina, re mad.
Well said the landlord, charge
MN the price of one dinner a day cor
ne ase Of the shermometer."-
Charles" said a sharp voiced
woman 10 her husband il a railway
car, DO You know that You and l
once had q romance in q railway
carr"
Never heard Of IT," replied Charles
in a suhdued tone.
i though, you hadn't. But don't
you remember il was nat pair Of
-. - : ~ ~ 20 sON lt1c SQYISls
mas before Ne were married that led
70 or Union? You remember how
nicely they fitted, don't youo Well.
CHARLES, one DAY when ne were going
% q picnic O had your feet up on
q Seat and when you weren't looking
look you- measure. But for that
pair o. slippers I don't believe we'd
eVer oeen married"
\ young unmarried man, sitting by.
Immediately took down his feet from
d seat.
Il vas an arduous task for the
teacher TO drum into her youthful
pupils the. principles Ct arithmetic.
Now, listen she said. In order
sare Denomination. This is what
mean: Now, you couldn't take three
app,es from four peaches, nor eight
marbles from twelve buttons. Il u
De three apples from four apples. and
so on. Do 0 understand
The majority seemed 10 grasp the
idea. One perky little youngster in
the rear. however, raised a timid
hand.
"couian:t o take three &c q laaqsse o;
milk from two cows"
Two Irishmea were comparing notes
about politics. JOBS, hard times, and
the ike. when Pat O'Rourke. a third
one. joined in the discussion.
Sure Il I'm satisfied with things"
said Pat. I've a pache Of a JOB"
Is that So" said the others. And
what might ye De doin'o"
I'm pulling down the Episcopal
caucch. replied Pat, and I'm settin'
paid Cor .t."-Eveybody's Magazine.
T-,-1 -, ~
large acreage Of corn under cultiva-
ton: don't the crows annoy you a
great deal?
Farre--Oh. not to any extent.
Touris,-Thats singular. consider.
ing you have no scarecrows.
Farmer-Oh, we'll. you see I'm out
mere a good part OF the time myself.
The were abed. and the
doctor answered the bell himself. A
co!oreo man stood or the steps hold
ing a large package.
is Miss Matildah. the cook. a,
nome sah?" asked the man.
Yes, but she has retired" returned
the Doctor
Can I leao dis 20 her, san?"
Certainly said the doctor.
He took the bundle, from which
aowers and buds were protrudins,
5000 oAAAAtS AlS 8l1dkl kCOC
night, carefully carried it 70 the
where he deposited it. paper
and all. in a pan OF water.
The doctor thought nothing more
Of the afair Until ne herad Matiida's
angrT voice raised in conversation |
1ith the maid.
E l had &c pusson heah.' cried
cook. 'da, put nah new spring
hat in dis yer dishpan, I'd scald i'm
For sho'."
Dugaid vas i'll, and his friend Dom
aid took a bottle Of whiskey TO him.
gave the invalid one glass, and
said:
YEN git anither yin in the morn
About f"e minutes elapsed, and then
suddenly exclaimed:
"Ys'd better let me haze the ither
Donald. We hear o. sac mony sud
len deaths %nooadays."