davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
CHANCE FORECASTS.
W,Asrs Of Old Whs pImIy ps'aAs1 -
Modern Inventions.

WsAsrs 81 Old Whs 0'miy pssatsd -
Modern Inventions.
Chance phrases in the literary wosks
Of other days describe with uncanny
exactness inventions Of far later times.
Fur Instance. we tind In the "I'rolu-
sions~ Of Strada the Roman. which
were published in the year 1917. what
might be held to embody crude de-
scription Of wireless telegraphy.
Strada represents two friends ~ car
rytnR on correspondence BY means Of
q certain ioadstone which has such
virtue in 1t that, II It touches two nes-
dies when one Of the needles begins to
move. the other. although at ever 20
great a distance. moves at tht same
time and In the same manner"
In 1914 Robert Hooke published .
work wherein be observed that ~
glasses improve the vision 70 ways
might he found to improve our other
senses. ut IL not impossible" says he.
ito hear a whisper distance Of fur
long. and perhaps the nature OF the
thing would not make 1t impossible A.
though that furIong should be ten times
multiplied" This seems to be Z fair
forecast OF the telephone.
In "Guiliver's Travels" Swift causes
bis hero to relate in the voyage to La
puta that the astronomers there have
likewise discovered the two lesser stars
or satellites which revolve about MARI"
This has been held to constitute "a
tire on sham science Nevertheless
Professor Asaph Hall few years ago
discovered the two tiny satellites-
1t was more than 1.700 years ago
that Lucian gave an account Of the
manner wherein the Inhabitants Of the
moon drank "air squeezed or compress
ed into goblet so that It formed
kind Of dew. This clearly suggests
liquid mir.
The same writer In ''vera Historic"
humorously and at some length de.
scribes an aerial ship the sails Of which
were inflated by whirlwind. thus i'm
polling 1t through space to the moon.-
Harper's.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
TEN LITTLE SPEED BUGS.

first little speed bug. whom the world was
His end BY racing dinosaur TIL now has
been unsung.
second little speed bus-worid had Older
ssed race down . Enthusiastically left
Third little speed bug racing on the lake
skin canoe turned turtls-tother won the
stake.
Fourth little speed bug. nrst to ride .
steed.
Lost control-his nnish came very quick
e indeed.
Fifth little speed bug in = chariot race
Mother fellow rode him down. What .
doleful case!
sixth little speed bug rode = safety bike.
He was the loveliest corpse that ever
struck the pike.
Seventh little speed bug. motorcycle
hend-
The churchyard grasses many moons
above his grave have greensd.
Eighth little speed bugs two hundred b.
skidded. hurtisd through the fencs-hs
Is couldn't stand the jar.
Ninth little speed bug soaring round and
round
Air craft hit . pocket. and tho speed bug
hit the ground.
Tenth little speed bug. though he has
speeded some,
Studies how he to . still more speedy end
may come.
Chicago News.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
hs.., from tn. Murray.

Despite the chill wintry blast the
two young men decided upon an after
Moons fishing from punt moored in
the swift running river.
When they returned their noses
were shrammed with cold. but through
1t all they had smile-and a creel
containing some very small and de-
cldedly immature FISH,
The young lady-she was sister to
one of the fishermen and the apple Of
the eye Of the other angler-met them
as they were wriggiing out Of their
overcoats.
"Ah." she remarked teasingly. so
you've been fishing again despite the
cold wind! Let me see. Fish go In
schools. don't they?"
But why do you ask?" asked the
angler who was not brother to the
lady, hut who would have liked to be
something else.
"Er-nothing." she replied demurely.
~ was only thinking. Er-you've been
fishing in the infants class, haven't
youT'-Iondon Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
tn. Wrong Leg.


Andy Flower has a new Scotch story,
or IL it's not new It's 90 old that ev-
erybody else has forgotten 1t. 20 It's
lust us good as new. This is 1t: Sandy
MncDougal was brave lad Of twelve.
One day he fell OF the roof and broke
IN leg. His parents carried him ben
the hoose and stretchit him on the bed.
where be grained and graf while the
doctor was sent for. When the doctor
came Sandy dLina want him to touch
his leg for fear It would hurt. But
the doctor explained that 1t mann be
done.
"Whilk leg is 1t. Sandy. lad?' speired
the doctor.
This ane." whined Sandy.
The doctor seized the ankle. put his
fut In sandy's oxter and gied the leg
sic yerk that the lad was nigh pulled
In twa. He jammert like boggie.
Then the doctor put on bit bandage
and went ava.
Ibid 1t hurt. ladder asked the aud
Z feyther.
Nm sac muckle as 1t MIGHT" an
swered the lad. grinning. II wasna sic
fuIe us to gle him ma sair leg!"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
srinoina Up . peo.

A writer In Country Life In America
gives some advice on the bringing up
Of dog. As he tells 1t, the process
looks easy enough. The first and most
important lesson for pup to learn is
to stop anything he may be doing when
you sny stop" and to continue when
you say ''All right" II well learned
this will explain to him all future COM
mands. After this comes the lesson to
lie down when you command Down"
and to stay down while you leave him.
For this iatter 1t Is best to tie him to
something and then II he does not drop
when you call Down" from distance
return quickly and. scolding. push him
down forcibly. A caress and taste Of
food should be his reward II be does
right
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
SYSTEMS IN GAMBLING.
Monte Carlo just smiiss at Thorn and
Keeps on Winnins,

NVVp0 wv vNssftVUs
There are only two games played at
Monte Carlo-roulette and q simple
card gume called trente ct quarante.
One In assured that these games are
played quite fairly and that the per-
centage In favor Of the bank h 81 to
90. Whatever It may be. this certain
percentage In favor Of the tables over
comes alI systems that human ingenuity
can work out by any law Of averages.
NJ. Blanc will permit you to play any
way you like. and to double your bet
as often as you like until 1t reaches
6.OOO francs at roulette or 10000 francs
at trente ct quarante. Then you must
begin over again. for 1t 10 quite clear
that II one were permitted to double
indefinitely It would only BE- ques-
ton Of time and suncient money to
put NJ. Blanc out OF business.
Thus II happens that N. Blanc. who
takes NO chance. wins against all t. oss
who arc permitted to take any sort Of
chance they like. Sir Hiram Maxim
disposed Of all systems when he shat
tered q popular delusion In these words:
"If red has come up twenty times In
succession 1t il Just AZ likely to come
up ut the twenty-first time as 1t would
be II 1t had not come up before for a
week. Each particular coup il govern
ed altogether by the physical condi-
lions existing at that particular in
slant. The ball spins round great
many times In groove. When Its mo-
mentum Is used up 1t comes In contact
with several pieces Of brass and finally
tumbles into a pocket in the wheel
which is rotating in an opposite direc-
ton. 1t Is pure and unadulterated
question of chance. and It II not In
duenced in the least BY anything that
has ever taken place before or that
will take place In the future. Mel
vile DAVIDSON Post In Saturday Even
Ing Post.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
CARPETS FOR ROADS.
An "Elastie Skin" Recommended by
English Expert,

A lecture was recently delivered by
q member Of the road board before the
Royal Institution Of London on THE
Road-Past. Present and Future" The
lecturer said the problem was to find
the best mode by which road should
be constructed so that its surface would
not be broken by traffic, 80 that the
transit might be easier for both pas
sengers and goods, road which would
form neither puddle holes nor exude
mud from vehicles and create no dust
when the weather was dry.
One thing was universally recognize
ed-that the road of the future should
be truly bound road In which, what
ever kind Of stone was used, the stone
should be held together SO that 1t
would form crust. The lecturer sug.
gested that what he called carpet or
an elastic akin should be adopted as
the covering.
The carpet. he thought, should be
made Of bituminous material mixed
with sand and placed on the roads in
various thicknesses according to the
nature of the traffic. II should 60 on
in liquid form. solidifying quickly. but
always remaining resilient and COM
pressible and 10 migrating with the
crust Of the road that there could be
no shifting Of the surface below.
The advantage Of such carpet. 1t
was said. would be to permanently
protect the crust. and just rs carpet
on the door softens the step 20 would
this carpet for the roads silence the
noise and reduce the shock Of rolling
vehicles. 1t was admitted that the
original cost of road 30 laid would
be more than that Of mud bound
road. but spreading the cost over a
series Of years 1t would probably not
be SO great. since the crust Of the road
itself would not have to be renewed.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
Literally Speaking.

The geography class was In session,
and the teacher pointed a finger to the
map on the classroom wall.
Here on one hand we have the far
stretching country Of Russia. Willie"
she asked. looking over her pupils and
settling on one small boy Mt the end
of the class. what do we zee on the
other hand:"
Willie. hopeless with fright. hesitated
moment and then answered:
"Warts!'-Short Stories.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
Old Time sehso, Hours

In Scotland. up to the middle of the
eighteenth century. the usual school
hours were from 8 a. m. till .. M.
with two breaks Of an hour each. Some
schOols opened an hour earlier and
worked 30 long as daylight lasted. No
alteration in the hours was made on
Saturday. and even on Sunday 4 Ger.
tain amount Of school work was done.
The holidays were restricted to q day
at Candlemas and at whitsun. and q
fortnight III the autumn.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
MispIae.d PrseIslen.

"Oh, just love cake, and it's aw-
fully nicer cried little Dorothy, ~
garding her chocolate frosted dessert
with high approval.
"You should not say you love cake /"
reproved her mother; SAY you like it.
And don't say. .awfully;' say very
Don't say nice but good And. by
the way. the word Just should be
omitted, and also the oh Now. my
dear. repeat the sentence correctly"
81 like cake. 1t is very good" re-
peated Dorothy.
"That is much better" said her
mother.
But Dorothy was far from being sat.
lsfied. ut sounds as II 1 was speaking
of bread" she said with an air Of dis
gust.-Youth's Companion.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

WHAT III HAAARR8 W Nu1Guh8A INV
J1Rsny ACCoAFLis11D ~ Oo-0fknArroN.
holding meetings and inviting the
oranges and farmers associations to
talk at them.
The following program has been out
lined:
Aethods-O Right and wrong grading
season, TOOLS width Of road. etc. (2) Fair
average cost of grading perfectly one mile
Of road Gu Right and wrong methods OF
draining a road. 20 Dragging-when, how.
by whom. fai- cost. etc. t5) Why not con-
tract both grading and dragging? 80 Ad-
vantages of concrete or stone bridges and
culverts durability. use Of home labor.
etc.
Laws and Poicies.-(D Why not separate
ONCE of assessor from that of road trus-
tee and elect road trustees on score of fit-
ness to supervise the building of roads
and keep them busy at least from March
to October? O. Advantage of classifying
roads into county and township roads,
ETC., according to law. CD Why not build
each year few miles Of permanent earth
roads instead OF patching all the roads.
building first the roads with greatest
travel? 20 Reports Of funds available this
year for township roads. Why not have .
county road and bridge engineer
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
SOMETHING WRONG.
But II Wasnv the Patients Fault That
He Couldn't Hear.

He Couldn't Hear.
A man went to a physician and said
Doctor. I've got trouble with m,
right ear. What can you do for mel"
The doctor held his watch 4 fool
away from the patients ear and asked
"can you heat the tick!"
Il can barely hear IT.
The physician got out some interest
ing looking Instruments and removed
4 lnrge lump Of wax from the ailina
member.
Now, you ought to hear better" be
said and held the watch as before.
The man listened.
Don't you henr 1t better now?"
"NO; l don't hear 1t at all."
"Thnt's queer" said the doctor and
took another look.
Are you sure you don't hear now?"
~ can hear you. but can't hear the
watch"
Lets try your well ear. Can you
hear?"
Never tick"
The doctor looked puzzled. The pa
tient looked alarmed.
''See here, doctor, when you dug me
TINT time you didn't destroy my hear
ing. did yOu?''
II couldn't have done that" said the
doctor. yet something ID certainly
wrong. Listen again"
The man listened with the intentness
of II suburbanite trying to hear street
car at 11:3O o'clock on a stormy night
But he shook his head ut last.
III you have wrecked my eardrums,
DOCTOR" he began. "rn"-
But he did not finish his threat. fol-
just then the doctor put his watch to
his own ear, grinned foolishly and said:
II guess forgot to wind the blamed
thing last night."-Newark News.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

Teddy WAS walking across the fields
with his grandpa when he saw cow
for the first time. what 10 that,
grandpa?" he asked. "Why. that's
only a cow" was the reply. And what
are those things on his head?" Horns.
Teddy" The two walked on. Pres
emily the COW mooed loud and long.
Teddy was amazed. Looking back. he
said. (which horn did she blow, grand
pu ?"-London Weekly Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

"Oh. look what a pretty kitten.
mammal exclaimed little Harry
while visiting at the home Of neigh
bor.
YES" said his mother. and Just
think, Harry, 1t never cries."
"Well. why should it7" rejoined Har-
ry. Nobody ever tries to wash Its
neck and ears."-New York Globe.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

"Why did Farringford ever marry
the Oldest of those Heathcote girls?
She's the homelIest one Of the i've too.
] can't understand why he didn't pick
out one Of the younger and prettier
ones.'
He probably preferred to pursue the
line Of least resistance Chicago Rsc-
ord Herald.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
Good Tim. c.mIna.

II tell you. Binks." said the million
aire. with great gusto. talk about your
fun: There's none to equal that Of
earning million. dollar BY dollar"
ny ginger" said little Binks, what
lot Of fun there l. ahead Of mer'-
Harper's Weekly.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

Doc-I'm quite nonplused. can
make nothing out Of your case at all.
Patient ,brightening up,-By Jove.
doc, do you really mean that?-Life.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

Rlobbs-Henprckke always reminds
me Of mouse. slobbs-Nonsense. If
be was anything like mouse bis wife
would be afraid Of him. Philadelphia
Record
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

"Can you imagine" said the face
tlons teacher Of natural history. ANY
Shlng worse than giraffe with sore
throat?'
Yes. SIR" came the answer from one
:what. pray:" asked the teacher in
surprise.
"A ceptipede with corns."
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

snow that you are wealthy are you
ever bothered by the friends you had
when you were poor?"
~ never had any friends when was
poor."-Houston Post.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10
GOOD ROADS
AND THE FARMER
Why He Is the One Most h.
tsrsstsd 10 Their upkssp.
THE GOOD WORK IN KANSAS,

state Agricultural CoNe0e Aovoeetes
kisldins Meetings to Boost the Move
nsnt Throughout the stats-outiins
Of an Instructive Program.
How many farmers know that 1t
costs them % cents mile to haul a
ton of farm produce to market over
the ordinary unimproved roads? How
many know that for few cents an
acre ii FEARLESS probably than the
value Of the grain they drop in feeding
or hauling-they could pay their shnre
on the cost OF good road? How many
ever think about the wet feet Of their
children. who trudge through mud To
sit all day damp and snufiling in a
poorly ventilated schooIroom?
1t is to alleviate these conditions
that the Kansas Agricultural college is
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

A Misnemsr.
II understand your wife is financially
interested In your business"
Eyes"
"A silent partner. l supposeY
"WeIl-er-that's what she calls her,
self."-Boston Evening Transcript.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

The trouser skirt with two pockets
is the latest. I'll bet they won't be
hip pockets.
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

"a centipede with corns."
The Meeker herald., 1913-05-10

Read the first install
ment and you will
want to read every
one of them to the end.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16
Notice Of Closing Of Registration Books

Notice is hereby giuen that a petition having
been presented to tue board of county commits
sioners OF Teton county, Montana, under the
provisions of Chapter liz of the laws of the 18th
Legislative assembly, rs amended by House Bill
No. 1872 of the 18th legislative assembly of Mon
tana, to submit to the qualified electors of the
territory embraced in to proposed new county
of Pondera, the question whether the same
should be created or not, and said prOpt sed new
county of Ponders as described in said petition
containing a part of the territory OF - present
county of Chouteau, to-wit: Commencing ut the
northwest corner of section 6, township %
north, range ! east; thence south along the Mon
tana principal meridian TO the southwest corner
thence east along the section lines to the south
east corner of section IS, township Is nOr,h,
range l east; thence north along the east line of
range l to the northeast corner OF section /,
township % north, range ! east; thence west
along the township line to the point of begin
ming; and the said board of county commission.
ers of said Teton county having found such petit
ton sufficient, did, on March "a. 1919, make their
proclaim alton naming June Is, 1913. as the day on
which such election should be held in said pro-
posed new county of Pondera to determine
whether the same should be created into such
new county or not;
The registration books of Chouteau county
will be closed at 5 O'Clock p. m, May "a. 1913, for
until the 26th day Of June, 1918.
Any persons residing III that portion of Chou
team county which is included within the bonn
daries of the proposed new county of Pondera
should register on or before May q, 1913.
Dated this 18th d. ). q IE AGr shab isls;
County Clerk OF ChOuteau County.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16
VIII Raise Sugar Beets

BILLINGS. April 12.-One-hslf-mil-
lion pognds of sugar beet seed ia be-
ing distributed to farmers in the viciu-
ity of Billings by the local beet sugar
company, and seeding in come local.
tiles will begin Monday. A total OF
5000 acres will be devoted to beet
raising this year, according to con-
tracts already signed.
Not oil the land will be seeded at
the same time, intervals being allowed
to eIspse in order that difficulties in
securing labor for cultivsting In har.
vesting the beets may be minimized.
The planting usually begins the week
Of April IL, but this season it is 90
wet that the work ia delayed for a few
days.
Flowing and seeding are already
we'll under way in the neiehborhood of
Fromberg. where the ground 10 said
to be In excellent condition. Some OF
the best heets raised last season cane
from that locality.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16
A Double

A good story is told of Sully, the
painter. One day n gentleman came to
him to say that it would o be his
wife's birthday and he wished to make
her a present of his portrait. Could
Sully paint it in the time? The gen
tleman went on to say that the gift
must be kept a profound secret.
A day Of 30 later a lady called on
Sully to say that her birthday would
soon be here and she wished to give
her husband a portrait Of herself.
Would Sully paint 1t? The gift, how
ever, must be kept a profound secret.
Sully saw that he was dealing with
the wife of the other sitter. but ac-
copied this commission. too, and for
the next week or so had the greatest
difficulty in keeping husband and wife
from meeting In his painting room.
On the day before the birthday the
pictures were taken to the house and
hung In their appointed places. while
the husband and wife. with extreme
1fnesse, decoyed each other away.
The next morning. as may be imagin
ed, each experienced a rare thrill! q
surprise.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16

DECIDED TO SCAR THE pRUsslAN.
way of passing the time. TO their
great surprise he could hardly under
stand them or they him.
"Where'd you come from. YankT'
they asked.
"Vom P~rwoossia,' he answered stol-
idly.
"I1ow long you been in this coun-
try?"
"Zwei monat-maype drei monat."
"And you came down here to fight
u.s."
yah, for boundy," said the prisoner
in~differently.
The Confederates decided to scare
the Prussian and have a lot of fun.
look here" said their leader. "a
Yankee soldier is all right. but a Dutch
Y~ankee-bah! Say, do you know what
We'll do with you. you - Dutch Yam
kee? Well stand you up over a coffin
at sunrise tomorrow and fill you full
of lead"
"Vell," said the German. with a plac-
id shrug-"vell. voteffer ISIS der rwule!"
-Harper's Weekly.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16

jack rabbit region, aud # hss been
suggested that she fell a victim 70 en-.
vironment.
HELENA, April l2.-To recover from
the state of Montana the sum OF sl4.-
1878 representing the estate OF Thos.
M. Pomeroy. which was declared es.
cheated to the state in 1889, is the OBJ
ject sought In . petition filed in the
district court yesterday by william
B. Pomeroy. The be caring will be held
May }.
BILLINGS, April II. - Almon F..
Hiser, a ranchman, three miles north
of Fromberg, killed himself by cutting
his throat with q pocket knife some
time yesterday. The body was found
10 his barn by neighbours. He was SO
years old and lived with his aged
mother. The cause is believed 70 have
been due to the connection OF his name
with . local scandal.
MILES CITY, April IA cas.le
transaction which has the favor OF .
deal Of 20 years ago about it 10 re-
ported to have been made by j. G.
Kinney, the Wibsux banker and stock-
man. 1t 10 reported that Mr.. Kinney
has purchased $4,000 head of Texans
which will be u on the Grow reserve,
the price being $40 q head. The deal
itself is said to be . positive fact, but
that they will be run on the Grow re-
serve 10 not known to q certainty, but
that is the probability.
BUTTE, April 12.-Whst may de.
velop into o of the largest swindles
Butte has known in many years wat
unearthed yesterday when q bank
t~eller's keen eye caught sight of an
Anaconda Mining company pay check
that proved to be q clever forgery.
Later In the day other of the fraudu-
lent checks came to light and 50 great
was the possible extent of the fraud
the company held up the pay roll
checks OF four big subsidiary mining
that we're to have been is.
sued yesterday. These will be held
until later Developments.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1913-04-16
Highly Improved Ranch For Sale

Located about twenty miles below Fort Benton
on the Missouri river, opposite Ltppard station
on the Great Northern, about q mile distant.
About 1900 acres; $50 acres bottom land, of which
lN acres in alfalfa and $50 acres broken and
diced Two-thirds of his under irrigation.
Pumping station and hfty-horsepower gasoline
gether with the necessary farming implements
and sufficient hor.es-good stock. harness, half
dozen cove and II dozen head OF mixed stock.
Everything on the place necessary to go ahead
and produce a crop.
This is a going ranch which by a little devel.
opment can be made an ideal stock ranch. Rea-
sOnable terms
For information write to
T. G. POWER n BRO, Fort Benton,
or |. +. CHURCHILL, Iona, Montana.