davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1913-07-24
Jokers' Budget.
By Paddy

BY Paddy
We all agree that when it comes
to bringing harmony out of vocal
discord our friend Mickie can sure
deliver the merchandise, even at
the present day, but you should
have heard him when his warbling
was in its zenith, as l did.
The teams were all lined up
waiting for wagon ahead of them
to load. Contractor Olson stood
and gazed at them for awhile,
when Mr.. Robertson came over to
him and said: We'll, Ben, that
bunch looks like funeral, out
therer' They look to me like a
morgue," said Mr.. Olson. How
is that" said Mr.. Robinson. "They
seem to be all dead" said Ben and
then Mr.. Olson addressing the
teamsters said: "Oh, never mind
what he said," But the boys were all
moving before he got through.
An Irish woman who had Just
purchased and was taking home
can of beer, while going along the
street, saw the priest coming to-
wards her and not wishing to let
him see the suds, put the pail un-
derneath her coat. The Father, on
coming up, noticed the bulge 10 her
cloak and said: My dear sister, is
that tumor?" No Father" said
Mrs. Riley, that be can SIR"
(cancer)
There is no need of the Irish
fearing that they will go hungry as
long as spuds can be bought for
$500 car load, as they can now,
according to newspaper reports.
On one of the hot days lately,
Gumshoes and Dan Patch were seen
to beat 1t for the shade. About an
hour after they had been laying
low back of the warehouse Gum
shoes fell asleep and fell off the
wagon seat to the ground. Old
Dan, upon looking around to see
what the matter was, and taking in
the situation at glance, let a
shadow of disgust spread over his
countenance and gr,nted: Nix on
this slumbering stuff pal, do you
want them TO get wise and put us
to work."
Anyone wishing to get a southern
scenery with northern back
ground should visit us on holi-
day.
Was talking to Old Stonewall on
the 4th. He was wondering how
Supt. Casey of the shoe factory
was getting along. Said he gets
homesick sometimes to hear his
gentle voice.
Although the price is still the
same the value of our fur and hide
business is increasing right along.
1t is now worth three big bones.
Where are you going for the
fourth?' said a guy to Sammie.
Goingp' said Sammie, I have al
ready went and come back. / took
a trip to Washington to see what
the people look like" He was
seen coming from the north end of
the dollhouse.
Officer Sederberg broke the short
distance sprinters record the other
night. Did the five hundred yard
dash in three seconds fiat.
Billie High Jump has just been
arrested for giving Minnie Sore
Eyes fire water. When interview
ed in regard to to the matter Blue
Legs, of the farm force said: 1T
makum no difference in my case"
Thought the editor had sprung
one, but it was false alarm. 1t
was his double that was seen in the
grand jury line the other night.
Sherlock is now a member of the
Muckers Union.
The cell hall Captain is now
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Names Of the Cowslip.

The cowslip or "paggle" has an I'M
mense variety Of names to choose from.
I'VE call it in Englishe cowslip. or
cowslap. or paggle." wrote Turner in
l54S. And in the modern Book of
Flowers" by Katharine lyman and
Frances Maitland. there are collated
not only such variants Of ''paggle' as
pagle. paiggle. beagles Cambridge.
shire) and cow-peggles (Hertfordshire)
but palsy wort or palsy weed from its
supposed value In cases of palsy. crew
ellis. fairy cups. horse buckles. cuckoo
flowers. Peter wort. herb Peter. Peter
keys. Peterkin. fairy bells. ladies' keys
and COW striplings. The highlanders
call it only sobrach"-pleasant-Lon-
don Globe.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12

Chcle Chef Thomas was famous
Kansas politician of the early days.
islature. Il man interested in certain
bill offered Uncle Chef 500 to help the
bill along.
Never you mind about that" said
Uncle Chef. Il don't want your mon
ey. and. besides don't you never try
to buy politician. When you want to
buy anybody. buy an honest man-hell
stay bought. but politician has a
record to MISUNDERSTANDING Even
ing Post.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Shakespeare Autographs.

There are only six genuine Shake
speare autographs in existence. yet
one Of these-appended to a deed Of
purchase but $625 when sold
at auction few years ago. 1t was
bought by the corporation Of London
for the Guildhall library. much to the
indignation of a number of the city
fathers. One member Of the common
council described the transaction as
most wasteful and prodigal." and an
other member said that it was quite
ridiculous to think of voting f145 for a
few doubtful. illegible, almost obliter-
ated scratches Of pen." motion to
disallow the expenditure found thirty
one supporters on the council
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
TOTAL COST S7,0oO.OO0.

Climatic Conditions In California En-
able Proper Maintenance at Small
cost-Four Hundred Miles Already
Completed.
Los Angeles county, CAL, Is deter
mined to have the very best roads in
the United States. according to f. 81.
Joyner, chief engineer Of the good
roads commission Of that county.
Wonderful progress has recently been
made there, and the work Is being con-
tinued on an enlarged scale.
In 1910 the road commission of Los
Angeles county was revised, an entire
" new stan Of officers being placed
in control. From the moment that the
new men entered upon their duties
they Immediately began the task Of
improving the roads, which were in
deplorable condition. Now. after two
years and half of hard work, the
roads of Los Angeles county are with
out doubt the equal of any roads in
the United States, and, quoting Mr..
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Good In Everything.

The late Sir Wilfred Lawson. well
known as an English temperance re-
former as we'll as a wit. invariably
took a cheerful view Of life and con-
duct In conversation with him one
day an ardent person rallied forcibly
against the practice of christening YES
sells with champagne before being
launched. Sir Wilfred did not alto
gether agree and said good temper
ance lesson might be learned from the
practice.
How can that beY' demanded the
other.
WELL" replied the baronet, after
the first taste of wine the ship takes
to water and sticks to 1t ever after"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
He Meant Well.

The company was mostly medical,
and a little discussion arose about the
conduct of another doctor who always
had afternoon tea served to patients
who called between 2 and 5. Some Of
the younger doctors were indignant
and asked II the next thing would be
free lunch counters In the surgery.
But the oldest doctor smiled cheerfully.
Don't you worry about him. Any
man who encourages the public to eat
or drink between meals is. consciously
or unconsciously, a benefactor to our
profession "-Manchester Guardian.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
How to Maintain . Road.

There is only one way to maintain
road. The slightest injury to its sur
face or any defect likely to work an
injury must be corrected the moment
it appears. Each little depression must
be filled In. Every obstruction to
drainage must be removed before It
has an opportunity to do its destructive
work. Such care involves q patrol
system, which is nothing more or less
than continuous inspection Of tho
roads by persons capable Of correcting
defects az they occur and fully equip
ped to do SO. It will be more satisfac-
tory and less expensive In the long run.
electricity Aids Digestion.
Professor Bergonie Of Bordeaux ana
Professor Arsonval Of Paris announce
that currents Of electricity Of three
amperes and from 1000 to 1,6O0 volts
passed through the body Of q man
enable him to digest 10 per cent Of the
food which ordinarily passes away IN
digested.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Banking and Literature.

Banking and literature made an nm.
thankful combination century or so
ago. A banker had the dignity Of his
calling to uphold. Samuel Rogers, how
ever. was banker and poet too Withal
he was discreet. His Pleasures of
Memory was issued as by the author
Of An Ode to Superstition" and only
with the fifth edition were his initials
allowed to appear. Lord Eldon on
hearing Of the authorship Of the book
at once spoke the old fashioned view.
IF Old Gozzy" (Gosling was his bank
er) ''even so much as says good thing.
let alone writing. will close my ac-
count with him the next morning.
London Spectator.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
A Pony santinal.

During one of General Clusters In
dian campaigns he had boy bugler
with him who was mounted on cir
Gus pony he had picked up somewhere.
The animal was not only full of tricks.
but he proved himself a better sentinel
than any Of the soldiers. Three times
In four months he saved the camp
from a night attack when no other
suspected that danger was near. Upon
one occasion the pony. who was loose
and walking about camp, discovered a
sentinel asleep on his post. That was
wrong, and the animal knew 1t was.
and he gave the soldier such bite on
the arm as caused him to yell out and
arouse the whole camp. Pony and boy
both died In Clusters last battle.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
A Thrifty Emperor.

So ingrained were the habits Of econ
omy with the old Emperor William that
even after he had assumed the impe-
rial crown they never deserted him.
The emperor gave the example He
always extinguished the candles him.
self and lowered the lamps before he
left any room. When en- villeggiature
at Ems or Baden. guests invited to
Join the emperor at dinner at some res
taurant were often embarrassed at the
end Of the meal to discover that it was
d "pay party."-Pall Mall Gazette.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Pleasant Company.

alcohol ties queer kinks in the
BRAIN" remarked a minister when the
subject Of intoxicants arose. AS l
was going home on a recent Saturday
evening noticed fellow walking
with slow and unsteady gravity just
ahead. mumbling to himself.
AS overlook him caught his
words. and this Is what he was repeat
ing over and over to himself. anxious,
no doubt. that he shouldn't forget his
line Of defense:
Been drunk an amt been home
for three days. hic! Coin home now.
n II dinner amt ready I'm goin' T.
raise old Harry. II tits ready I amt
goin' t. eat gol-darned thing!' New
York Times.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
GLASS TELEGRAPH POLES.
Wire Netting Embedded In Them Gives
Needed Strength.

Needed Strength.
Near Frankfort, Germany. there Is
manufacturing plant which turns out
glass poles for telephone and telegraph
wires. In order to give them sOlidity
and strength there is u thick frame
work of woven wire in the glass.
These poles are taking the place Of the
wooden ones In many sections of Ger
many.
1t may be that in time all such tele-
graph and telephone poles throughout
the world will be made of glass. be-
cause there are SO many advantages
In them. In the first place, they will
last practically for all time, except In
cases Of unusual accident, where they
may be broken, as in railroad wrecks.
They will last even longer than iron or
steel, as weather has practically no ef-
feet upon them. nor can insects get into
them and destroy them.
Experiments are also under way for
the manufacture Of railroad ties Of
glass, In which wire netting 10 imbed-
ded In the glass.
Paving blocks are made Of glass and
have proved to be most valuable ma
terial for street surfaces. being fitted
together In such a manner as to be wa
ter tight, no water running down be.
tween the blocks. There are in Lyons,
France, number of streets paved with
glass. and they are said to have bet
ter resistance than stone and also are
not such great conductors of heat az
stone. These glass paving blocks are
now said to be actually cheaper than
granite blocks.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Tar Weakens Rope.

Rope Is often tarred to protect 1t
from the weather. This is somewhat
doubtful practice. as the acid in the
tar weakens the rope to such an ex-
tent that engineers estimate tarred
rope to be only two-thirds as strong
as clean, new rope. No kind of oil
or other preparation has SO far been
found that will not injure the rope,
except tallow. Tallow and graphite
are used In making transmission rope
and for lubricating it when In USE
Exchange.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
A Writing Desk In the Barn.

Every farmer should have combi-
nation writing desk and medicine chest
In his barn. 1t should be securely
fastened about waist high on the wall
or on shelf In some convenient place
and kept closed when not in use. It
will save many trip to the house for
sheet OF paper, salve or liniment It
Is much better than to have one thing
here and another there. convenient
size for this chest is as follows: Eight
inches thick. eighteen inches high and
twenty-fOur inches long. although 1t
can be made any size desired. 1t
should not. however. be more than
nine inches thick. It can be divided
into many compartments and
Fireside.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
True Charity,

Every good act is charity. Giving
water to the thirsty is charity. Re-
moving stones and thorns from the
road is charity. Exhorting your fell
low men to virtuous deeds is charity.
Smiling In your brothers face Is char
ity. Putting a wanderer in the right
path Is charity. A mans true wealth
Is the good he does in this world.
When he dies mortals will ask what
property has he left behind him, but
angels will inquire. What good deeds
hast thou sent before thee?"-Moham-
med
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
HOW TO Be AN INVENTOR.
One Must Approach Problem With an
Open Mind.

Open Mind.
A retired professor of mechanical en-
cheering was called upon to deliver .
few lectures on invention to the senior
engineering classes His 6rst injunc.
tion was that when one attempts to
devise q machine to do certain thing
one must consider directly the funda-
mental operations to be performed and
must Wipe from the mind all existing
methods and all preconceived notions.
He stated that one 30 called inventor
attempted. In the days Of the scythe.
10 invent q moving machine. Being
familiar only with the scythe. he de-
signed q horse drawn machine which
would swing scythe. He simply re-
placed the man by mechanism. It IL
needless to say that his invention did
not survive. The problem Of efiiciently
cutting hay and grain was not success
fully solved until 1t was attacked by q
man with an open mind, and he de-
vised the knife Of the modern moving
machine or reaper
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
GOLD PLATED CANS.
They Are Better Than Tin, but Much
More Expensive.

MORO 6XP0u8bV0s
Gold plate Is advocated by the Ger
man chemist Gudeman as substitute
for tin plate In making cans for con-
tanning food. It is well known that
tin plate which IL plate of iron COW
cred with thin layer of tin-corrodes
when exposed to the acids Of fruits
and meats. The reason 10 that the tin
does not entirely all the pores Of the
iron.
Gudeman experimental with gold
and found that when this was applied
to the iron It flied all the pores, there
by making the metal absolutely rust
proof. He applied liquid amalgam
Of gold and mercury to the iron plate
and then distilled OF the mercury. The
Scientific American says: THE result
ing plate looks like gold, resists acids
like gold and Is absolutely uniform and
continuous in surface. 1t was also
found that the pores Of iron could be
filed with enamel or even with glass
II a pressure Of $4,000 pounds to the
square inch were applied. and the re-
sulting product was just as resistant
~ enamel or glass"
The only trouble with this process Is
that It costs fifteen times a. much AZ
tin
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
ROADS THAT GO SOMEWHERE
NOW AN INCESSANT DEMAND
One Plan Would Connect All State
Capitals With hishways.

Roads to go somewhere" is an ex-
preston heard necessarily in connec-
ton with the country wide attention
to the Improvement Of the highways.
A road extending across township,
Of course, has value; 1t has increased
value when 1t goes across county; It
has considerably increased value when
1t extends across state. but 1t is of
Infinitely more value when it extends
from state to state across the CONT
nent.
If had my way about 1t would
build great national system of roads
leading from our national capital to
the capital of every state In the I'm
ion. Some say that that would bank
rupt the government. Have you ever
stopped to think what 1t would cost?
Probably $4,000 miles would complete
trunk line through every capital. To
build the best road that modern en-
cheering has devised would make the
average about $4,000 per mile. The
western half of these roads will cost
whole lot less than the eastern half.
Eighteen thousand miles multiplied by
$4,000 makes $216,OOO,OOO. We have
spent millions of dollars upon the Inn
provement of rivers and harbors and
millions of dollars on the Improvement
Of the Panama canal" said ]. M.
Lowe. president Of the National Old
Trails Ocean to Ocean road. the other
day.
In connection with road matters, va
rious parts of the country show grad
ually improving methods In regard to
highway improvement Arkansas has
just voted to establish state highway
department. while Idaho has done the
same, In addition to which an appro-
priation of 500, 900 has been made for
laying, surveying and starting the con-
structi0n Of a system Of state high
ways. Promising legislation IL pend
ing In Maine, Pennsylvania, Missouri
and several other states.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
crete,s Lona sieas.

Crete endured the longest siege on
record. beside which Troy's ten years
seem but a skirmish. In 1648 the
Turks. attempting to conquer the is
land, laid siege to the capital city Of
Gambia. which. however. did not sur
render until September. 1869. after
twenty -one years. Again In 1921. when
the Cretans revolted. the defeated
Turks were able to hold the fortified
cities against all attacks, and many Of
them were still uncaptured when the
powers interviewed nine years later.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
New Paving Material.

The new paving material Of Wurz-
burg firm, called .vulcanol." Is pre-
pared by mixing crushed basalt with a
small proportion of cement. compress
ing into blocks. burning twelve days
and slowly cooling. The dark brown
blocks at together so closely water and
filth do not get beneath. The new ma
terial Is reported to be as resistant to
wear as natural granite. to cost less,
though slightly more than asphalt, to
be easily kept clean and to be unanect-
ed by frost or chemical disintegration.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12

Joyner, 1T will not be many years be-
fore they will far outstrip those Of any
other road system Of any county in
America.
Zone Of the greatest reasons why
the roads of southern California can
be brought up to and maintained in
such excellent condition." continued
Mr.. Joyner. lis that the climate there,
unlike that of the north, particularly
In the northeast. where one half Of the
year is extremely cold and the other
half hot, is fairly even throughout the
entire year. These extreme changes
Of temperature have, Of course. a tend
ency to break up the roadbed, partic-
u1arly in the spring, when the frost
lie coming out Of the ground, and a
road well made one spring 10 often
entirely ruined the next by the frosts.
For these reasons quite often ~
much money Ii required to keep the
road In repair each year a. was the
initial cost. while In southern Califor-
MIA little money Is needed once the
road b we'll made, and the money the
northern counties use to repair the
roads can be used to improve more
roads,"
Already more than 400 miles Of road
have been macadamized and are being
kept in perfect condition, and about
twenty miles are under construction.
About 800 miles have still to be con-
structed before the great work win be
completed. All Of the smaller towns
lying In Los Angeles county have been
connected with Los Angeles city, and
now all that remains Is to connect
these towns with one another and the
roads at intermediate points. Besides
the 400 miles Of road completed, there
Is a matter of fifty miles that has been
greatly improved, but not as yet mac
adamized. This Is included in the 800
miles that are yet to be completed.
The cost of the work 80 far has been
$4.OOOOO0. The average mile, Of course.
has cost $4,000. although some miles
have run as low as $1,000, while 9TH
ers have run as high as $4,000, where
1t was necessary to do large amount
of grading. The cost Of the remaining
800 miles will average about the same,
100000.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
PLANS FOR ILLINOIS ROADS.
Would Allow Various Counties to De.
fray All Expenses.

fray All Expsnses.
Hard road building came into the IL
linois senate in a new form when Al
bert G. Clark Of Chicago put In bill
providing for county road system.
1t provides for a referendum plan Of
appointing three county road commits
sioners In a county that may decide to
take up hard road building. These
points are urged in favor Of the plan:
First.-It is an equitable plan, spread
ing the cost Of constructing main roads
over all the taxable property in the
county.
Second.-It tends to make continuous
main roads, with no breaks at the
township lines. This desirable feature
Is never attained under the township
plan. while town line roads invariably
suffer
Third.-Money enough is secured to
improve difficult pieces Of road that
could never be touched under township
supervision.
Fourth.-Under the county plan there
are always two experienced men on the
board. This tends to retain skilled en-
ployees In their positions, and 1t is true
that county roads, as rule, are dis
tinguishable by their superior work.
manlike features.
Fifth.-The county plan tends to
economic in the matter of road build
ing equipment.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Mad Dogs.

Mad dogs do not attack people.
when dog has the rabies" said a
physician. "he has lost control Of his
body. and what he does is mechanical.
His jaws snap involuntarily. and IL he
encounters any object whether ami
mate or inanimate. he is likely to bite
1t. But a mad dog does not attack as
does an angry dog. He does not pick
out victim or use any strategy. For
this reason dogs suffering from rabies
are less dangerous than is supposed.
No grown person need fear them. for
all he has to do Is to get out of the
way. The dog will not chase him. OF
course. young children are in danger.
as they do not know how to dodge the
brute"
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
Taking Him Down.

OF certain attorney his younger
rivals relate the following amusing
anecdote. IT'S better told in the an
cient anecdote style. too and also.
One day the ONCE bell sent forth
shrill Jingle, and the ONCE boy hasten
ed, In as far as haste was In him. to
answer 1t. After suitable interval he
re-entered the inner ONCE and said:
"A client wishes to see you, SIR"
the lawyer
"A new one. Of course" answered
the boy.-New York Globe.
Clearwater Republican. [volume] (Orofino, Idaho) 1912-1922, 1913-09-12
subways costlier Than Panama.

From the standpoint of finances in
volved the proposed New York rapid
transit subway system is one Of the
greatest engineering feats yet project
ed. The total expenditure for the ex-
tension and Improvement Of existing
lines and the establishment Of serv-
ice to Brooklyn will amount in round
numbers to 1902 100000 When com.
pleted the valuation Of the entire sys-
tenn will exceed the cost of the Panama
canal work. A considerable mileage IL
already under contract The entire
system is to be ready for operation by
Jan. /. 1917