davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23
BOARD AND ROOM

WANTED TO RENT-A five or six
room house. close to University. Ad-
dress H. D. Kearby. Savannah, Mo.
TO RENT-Unfurnishe rooms. 81:
furnished rooms. 81. sos Conley,
phone AS white. (tO
FOR RENT-Furnished house during
summer months; modern; within three
blocks Of University. Phone 110l
green or address "B" University Mis-
sourian. ftf)
WANTED TO RENT Furnished
house for June and July. Apply to
W. w. Eiwang. (d2t)
FOR RENT-Large modern we'll
located house Of 13 rooms. Good To-
cation for sorority or fraternity. Call
or address ]. C. Schwabe, North
Eighth Street. City. oD
AlSCELLANEOU6
WANT TO TRADELFour nice farms
Tor town property. Come and see m.
Batterton and Estes. fd1lt,
LOST-Friday night, . gold neck
lace With i've amsthysts and one pearl.
Finder return to this ONCE and receive
reward. .. fAat,
WANTEDcro help with sevins.
Phone "a Red.
/
DANCING lessons given privately. |
'ob Conley. as white. fdalI |
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23
Christian College Alumnae Luuehe..

All graduates as well as forme,
students of Christian COLLEGE ara p.
quested to be present at class day o.,
ercises at 10 o'clock Tuesday morn.
ing, May q, at Christian College n
take part in the Memorial exerc,...
at II o'clock and to attend N.
Alumnae luncheon at / O'Clock
Luncheon tickets $1.OO. For furths,
and for luncheon reserv,-
tions telephone Immediate to Mr.,
John T. Mitchell. number $50. (adv,
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Dr.. and Mrs. Burgess 10 Paris, 4.
DR.. and MrsL r. N. Burgess left ma.
afternoon for Paris, Mo. Doctor D..
CESS will accompany W. W. Fer,.n
Mrs. Burgess father. to Rochest.,
Minn.. for medical treatment NJ,
Burgess will visit her mother dur,,.
Mr.. Burgess absence.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

OF an INDIVIDUAL VINO rOacneQ MS Nal
and looked as though he would lik'
to let his razor slip neckward. Nov
as the barber cuts away, the mind o
the man in the chair moves from thu
vicinity of the unpleasant activities
He begins to think of the customs
and styles of hair cutting of the past
and present, not only in his own land
but in others.
As They Do In Russia.
A friend of his who had travelled
great deal had told him Of the
customs in Russia. He said that
when the young girls were married
they shaved their hair of and wore a
wig from that time on. The idea was
the destruction of their charms now
that they had found husbands. He
remembered that his friend had fail
ed to say what means they resorted
to in order to hold their husbands
after the loss of their charms. Then
he remembered the story of the FL
jan women who also shaved their
heads, but whose husbands spent
much time in growing a luxuriant
mass of hair. Then, too, the Koreans,
who begin at the age of seven to
cultivate a topknot which in later life
they hold sacred and to which they
pin their faith and high crown hats.
Somewhat like them are the Chinese,
who in order to be pe-que-liar, let
their hair grow from one small spot |
to form a pigtail that bangles down |
the back.
Then he remembered the pictures
Of Gorge Washington that hung in
he little country school house to
which the teacher always pointed for
an aid in teaching the lessons of
How he used to admire
him in his striking pose as he looked
lcross the ice-choked Delaware. How
le wondered at his white fluffy hair
which he plated just like Sallie
Hawkins. Then one day he learned
# this great mans deception. He
vore a wig. His hero crumbled and
ay in a heap. What man could lead
n army and wear a wig? What man
ould be truthful? He knew old
quire Dobbs wore a wig, because he
ad let a hook-and-line down and
aught it once when the Squire was
alling on sister Jane. He knew how
luch story telling it took on his part, =,
is sisters part, his mothers part !.
nd the rest of the family's part in
rder to fix things up SO that the
Id Squire would not close down the
ortgage. So if George Washington
ore a wig, and knowing the story
lling that wigs cause, he was ever
'terward a bit skeptical about the
leery tree incident. y
A Strip In The Ear.
He was aroused from his reverie :.
: a pain in the ear; the long scis- >,
RS had snapped too far. He WINGED,
1t let 1t pass. 1t was merely an n,
her of the happenings of the after
'on. "My, aren't women lucky" he :,
inks. They do not have to 60
rough this ordeal 1 wish 1 was so s.
Id that would have a debate with
vself each morning just how far l 4
ould wash my face in order not to
ve myself a shampoo" He gazes
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Also, the good dean and the people
of Columbia and the University are
certainly experts in the matter of true
hospitality. No newspaper manor
politician, even, for that matter
came to Columbia and failed to re-
ceive the utmost courtesy and enter
tainment. There were ball games,
motor rides and dinners strung along
to break the monotony of too much
advice, and there was a cor
dial glad hand for everybody, men,
politicians
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Modern lO-room housA
sleeping porch. high basement with
granitoid floor. large yard with barn.
etc. Excellent location opposite Stats
Farm residence. Terms very reason
able. s11 College avenue. Phone sss
red. (tf)
FOR SALE-One Flemish oak din
Ing table, one sewing machine and
other household goods, all in excellent
condition. 202 Thilly avenue. Phone
772 red. (d3t)
FOR SALE-Modern six-room houss
on Rosemary lane. Not yet finished
Large sleeping porch, living porch and
breakfast porch, hardwood floors
Easy terms. Inquire of Mrs. J. h
Crews. 800 Conley. (de0
(deO
FOR SALELMoern six-room bSau
on Rosemary lane. Not yet finishA
Large sleeping porch. living porch -
breakfast porch. hardwood hSssa
Easy terms. Inquire Of Mrs. J. b
Crews. go Cealsy. (deu
70 6ALE-Six room cottage: bnE /,
smoke house: chicken house; ~
garden; also fruit; paved street. ~
Windsor. 8. 8. Keith, phone l5s.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

IL you want to start something with
the good wife, just quote her a few of
the remarks that Mrs. Sarah Tyson
Rorer of Philadelphia, special writer
on cookery. had to offer at Columbia
Mrs. Rorer says keeping house is the
easiest job in the world. Why,
shucks! says she, after a hard DAYS
work she comes home and tosses off
the housekeeping in three-quarters of
an hour. just like that. Nothing to it.
MIR Rorer's remarks were punctuat-
ed by snorts of suppressed scorn and
rage from the women journalists and
housewives of Columbia who heard
her.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Col. J. West Goodwin and the ia
nous beaver hat were very much on
the job all week and everybody was
mighty glad to see 'em. There was
always gang around the colonel,
begging for stories of the old Sedalia
BazOo, and generally getting them.
Colonel Goodwin was distinctly
headliner, as the theatrical folk have
it.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Speaking of privileged classes, there
is Omar d. Gray. owner of the Colum-
bia Statesman and the Sturgeon Lead
er and other things too numerous to
mention And yet that man-another
example Of the arrogance of great
wealth-sat out on the grass and told
a circle Of Missouri editors that he is
skidding rapidly toward the poorhouse
on a creased toboggan.
1t will be gratifying to all loyal
Missourians to learn that Governor
Major, in addition to his other accom-
plishments. ID able to hoist a Gag
gracefully. The governor dedicated
the new. nag pole At the University
OF Missouri Thursday. and ran upI
OLD Glory amid the plaudits Of the
throng. a. the o. (. reporter
would put 1t.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Ovid Bell of the Fulton Gazette ar
rived in Columbia "a little disabled
but still in the ring" A train started
too soon and he was thrown and
shaken SO that he had to get about
the campus on crutches. But he kept
on grinning.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

Students for private lss-
sons In Bookkeeping. Shorthand and
Typewriting. Terms reasonable Phone
sos. nm
LOST-A dark blue serge Jacket at
Rollins Springs. last Tuesday even
Ing. Finder please return to 116 Col
iege avenue. (d3t)
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

According to Mitchell White of Mex
leo. who usually tells the truth, it
was Missouri woman who invented
the slogan, Hasn't scratched yet"
Referring, You know, not to a Mis-
souri, Democrat, but to a variety of
soap powder. And the Missouri wo-
man got only $25 for a cry that has
brought the soap people hundreds of
thousands of dollars. Mitchell says.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

DANCING lessons given privately.
WV ~o"'es' so wnita (d2l)
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

WANTED TO RENT-A five or six
room house. close to University. Ad-
dress H. D. Kearby. Savannah. Mo.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

H. F. McDougal, the able city editor
of the Maryville Tribune, got away
from the home town this week for
the first time in eighteen months. He
says he saw lot of quaint sights in
Columbia, among which was a W. k.
bank president tethering his COW on
the courthouse lawn and then proceed
ing blandly to his place of business.
And yet they say there amt no priv
ileged classes!
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

WANrED-To help with sewing,
Phone ~ Red
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1913-05-23

TO Observation-Disclosures rooms, "a:
furnished rooms, 81. sos Conley,
phone 448 white. fo
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

t=os and voice swiftly. You sneak.
Ing blackguard, you cheater OF wild.
ows; yes, I shall come again; and
thea look to your sleek, sanctimonious
neck! You chucked me down the road
to hell. and the pity Of It is, some day
l must meet You there! Fortune,
child" his voice becoming sad. you
might remember a poor beggar in
your prayers tonight PerciVal, q
farewell to you. We shall never meet
again. But when you stand upon
that bally old rug there, you'll always
see me, the fire, the tents. the camels
and the desert. and the moon in the
date-palms. By-by!"
And presently they were gone. A
moment later those remaining could
hear the chug-chug Of the motors as
they sped away. The banker was first
to recover from the spell. He rushed
for the hall. but George stopped him
rudely.
Two hours, IL you please. I never
break my word. Your money is all
there. II you do not act reasonably,
I'll throw you down and sit on you
till the time is up. Sit down. / do
not propose that my future wife shall
appear in court as a witness against
her mother. Do you understand me
now?"
The banker signifSed that he did.
He sat down, rather subdued. Then
he got up nervously and inventoried
the steal He counted roughly a mil.
, lion. A million! He felt sick and
weak. IL would have wrecked the
bank, wiped 1t out Of existence. And
saved by the merest, the most trifiing
chance! A bottle OF wine! He e.
sumed his chair and sat there won
deringly till the time-limit expired.
The public never heard how nearly
the MISUNDERSTANDING had gone to
the wall; nor how six policemen had
worked till dawn carrying back the
gold; nor that the banker had not
even thanked them for their labor.
The first impulse Of the banker had
been to send the story forth to the
world, to harass and eventually cap
ture his brother; but his foresight
becoming normal, he realized, that
silence was best, even IL his brother
escaped. II the depositors heard that
the bank had been entered and a mil
lion taken from the vaults, there
would naturally follow a terrific run.
When the last bag had been taken
out OF the library and the banker and
the police had gone. the bell rang.
George went to the door. A messenA
ger handed him a small satchel and
q note. There was to be no reply.
The note was from Ryanne. Briefly it
stated that the satchel contained the
emeralds. There had been some diff
ficulty In forcing the Major to surren-
der them. But that much was due to
George for his generosity. Later in
the day he-George-might inform his
--Horace's-brother that the coup
hadn't been a total fizzle. They had
already packed away in suit-cases
something like two hundred thousand
dollars in bills Of all denominations.
Tell that dear brother Of mine to
charge it to our account. It will be
less than the interest upon a million
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Nervousness Explained.

The young man entered the presi-
dents office and stood first on one
foot and then on the other. He
dropped his hat, handkerchief and um.
brella. Altogether he was a highly
developed case OF nervousness.
We'll, WELL" said the employer,
Out with it,"
Il have come. sir" said the young
man, and then began to stammer.
We'll, speak up. Have you come
to ask for the hand of my daughter
or raise in salary?"
IF you please, sir" stammered the
young man, Its both."-Exchange.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Of cheese voule s. h.nay. N. .lmo,,

Of cheese voulc 80 handy. MS almost
my breakfast time"
Bless your heart. help YOURSELF" Z"
And George turned 10 Fortune
"Ah," she cried. seizing his hands,
you win not think III of me?"
And for what?" astonished.
For not speaking TO my mother.
Oh, i Just couldn't: Just couldn't!
When ! thought OF all the neglect.
all the indifference. the loneliness. ]
couldn't! II was horribly unnatural
and cruel!"
Il understand. heart Of mine. Say
no more about IT," And he put his
two hands against her cheeks and
kissed her. Never shall you be lone
ly again. for am going to be all
things to you. Poor heart! Just think
that all that has passed has been
only a bad dream. and that it's clear
sunshiny morning; eh?" He held her
on ways and then swept her into
his arms as he had done on board the
ship, roughly and mastery. And
there's that old rug! Talk about
magic carpets! There never was ono
Just like this. But for 1t l shouldn't
even have known you. And, by JoYe!
when the minister comes this after
noon
This afternoon!"
Exactly! When he comes, you and
l are going to stand upon that beau
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
CHAPTER xxI.-(contInued)

I'VE could have taken every dollar
from the vault" said Wallace cheer
fully.
But we couldn't have made our get
away with it." observed the butler
holding his empty glass toward Ry.
anne, who was acting as master OF
ceremonies.
"a clear, unidentified million"
mused Ryanne. Into the cars with
it: over to Jersey City; on to Phila.
deIphia; but there for Europe; quiet
ly transfer the gold to the various
Continental banks; and in six months;
who could trace hair or hide Of it?'
Ryanne laughed.
TITS all right to laugh" said the
Major. But are you sure about
Jones? He could have arrived this
afternoon"
Impossible! He left Alexandria for
Naples on boat that stopped but
thirty hours. With Fortune on his
hands he could not possibly sail be-
fore the following week, and maybe
not then. Sit tight. know what
am talking about"
HE might cable"
$50 he might. But If he had we'd
have heard from him before now. I'm
going to tell you secret. Myjname
10 not Ryanne."
I'VE all know that" said the Major.
TITS Wadsworth. Does that tickle
your mind any?"
The men shook their heads. Mrs.
Chedsoye did not move hers.
Bah! Greatest joke of the hour.
I'm Horace Wadsworth, and Arthur
Wadsworth, president Of the Mer-
chant: Mechanic Bank. is my beloved
brother!"
"Ay, damnable wretch"
A shock ran through them all. In
the doorway leading to tho rear hall
stood. George, his revolvers' leveled
steadily. Peering white-faced over his
shoulder was the man who had spok.
en-. Arthur Wadsworth
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
oliver Wendell Holmes Unable to Get
Any Real Pleasure in the
Vaunted Tavern"

Don't talk to me about taverns!
There is just one genuine, clean, de-
cent, palatable thing occasionally to
be had in them-namely, boiled egg.
The soups taste pretty good some
times, but their sources are involved
in darker mystery than that Of the
Nile. Omelettes taste as II they had
been carried in the waters hat, or
fried in an old boot. ordered scram-
bled eggs one day. 1t must be that
they had been scrambled for by some
body. but who--who in the possession
of sound reason could have scram-
bled for what had set before me un-
der that name7 Butterl am wonder
ing why the taverns always keep It
until 1t is old. Fool that / am! As
Il the taverns did not know that il It
was good It would be eaten, which Il
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
His Preference for Home

not what they want. Then the walters
with their napkins-what don't theI
do with those napkins! Mention any
one thing Of which you think you cas
say with truth, THAT they do not DO. "
Every six months tavern shoulH
burn to the ground, with all its trapA
its properties" its beds and pots and
kettles and start afresh from ita ashes
like John Phoenix-SQuibob.
No; give me home, or a home like
mine, where all is clean and sweet,
where coffee has preexisted in the ber
ry and tea has still faint recollections
Of the pigtails that dsngled about the
plant from which 1t was picked, whers
butter has not the prevailing charac.
ter which Pope assigned to Denhan,
where soup could looB you in the face
II It had eyes" (which it has not),
and where the comely Anne or thu
gracious Margaret takes the pIace Of
these napkin bearing animals. oilyei
Wendell Holmes.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Lonn.LiXed Birds.

It used to be contendod that ravens
lived longer than any other species of
birds, and it was said that their age
frequently exceeded a century. Recent
studies OF the subject indicate that no
authentic instance Of a raven surpass-
ing seventy years Of age IL Of record.
But parrots have been known to attain
an ago of one hundred years. There Is
a record Of golden eagle which died
at Schoenbrun at the age Of 118 years.
Another golden eagle was kept In the
Tower Of London for 80 years. A third
died at Vienna aged 104 years. Geese
and swans are tenacious of life, and
extraordinary accounts exist of the
great age that they have attained. Buff
fon and other authorities have credited
them with eighty and one hundred
years Of life.-Harper's Weekly.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
CHAPTER XXI.
Tho End Of the Puzzle.

Tho elder brother tried to push past
George, but old Mortimer caught him
by the shoulders and dragged him
back
Let me go!" he cried. his voice ma
sal and high. "Do you hear me? Let
me go!"
"Mr. Mortimer" said George, with
out turning his head or letting his
eye waver, keep him back. Thanks. !"
George stepped over the threshold.
Nov gentlemen, ! shall shoot the
6rst man who makes movement"
And Rysnne, who knew something
shout George, saw that he meant Just
what he said. Steady, every one"
NE said. my friend George here can't
shoot: but that kind Of man Is dead
tiest with a pistol. / surrender"
The brother was struggling. "The
teIephone! The telephone! Iiemand
70 can the police. This Ii accessory
70 the iA1ki ] tell you. let me kois
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Solvent.

A certain man found himself in the
possession of $11,0OO,OOO. But he did
not lose his head. On the contrary.
u will pay only so much for a car u
he firmly declared, las will leave OF
the $11,000,O00 a sum sufficient, II
prudently invested in the funds. to de.
fray the cost Of having the thing
around"
And though in that resolution he
paid SO little for a car that his wife
would scarcely speak to him, his
sense Of financial solvency was his
ample Teward.-Puck.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
No Place to InduIoe In small TaIk

NO Place to Indulge In Small Talk.
The small son of devout Kansas
City father was visiting his grand
parents. The sun had just come out
after a long rainy season and the
head of the family, in saying grace
at the breakfast table, gave thanks for
the bright morning and the beautiful
sunshine.
why, grandpa!" interrupted the
youngster, accustomed to a stereo-
typed form of worship and shocked at
what he considered his grandfather's
irreverence. you must pray-don't
talk to God about the weather"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Why, the Mean Thing!

There's sad case said Mrs.
Jones, as she laid the paper on her
knees and wiped her spectacles. "A
bride struck dumb after leaving the
altar. and by last accounts she hadn't
recovered her speech"
Its the way of the world, my
dear" said old Mr.. Jones, with sigh.
Its the way of the world. Some men
have all the luck" p. |. p.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Bears the
Mann ReMIainn

How is it there's rcast hare on the
menu again today?"
Waitress-Well, it ate the canary
yesterday.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
His IDEA.

Bill-Do you know what a plagia-
dist is?
Tll-Sure; he's a fellow who plays
joke on the playwright"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
CONSTIPATION

Munyon's S Paw-Pa
Pills are unlike all 9TH
er laxativea or cathar-
tics They coax the
liver into activity by
gentle methods, they
do not scour; they do
not gripe; they do not
weaken; but they do
start all the secretions
of the liver and stom-
ach in a way that soon
puts these organs in a
healthy condition and
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

A woman with bullying ankles seems
more afraid of having them seen than
one without them is of a hole in hel
stocking.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

Hrs. WinslOw's Soothing syrup FOR Children
teething, sOftens the gums, reduces ntiamma-
tion. .allays pain cures wind coiic ,25c bottle m
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Daily Thouoht.

1t is indeed desirable thing to be
well descended, but the glory belongs
to our estors.-Plutarch.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

PILES CURED IN TO II DAYS
Your druggist will refund money II PAZ0 (IpCT,
MENT fails to cure any case OF Itching, Blind
bleeding or Protruding Piles in 20 IA days. 60c.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

Many slow man develops into o
sprinter when he has o chance to run
into debt.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invig-
crate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coated,
tiny granules, easy 10 take as candy. Adv.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Onto Il

Mrs. Austin's Bag Pancake, deliciou,
light cakes for breakfast, all grocers. Adv
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

Onto It.
Blobbs-Skinnum is trying to pro.
note new mining company. Did you
fall for it?
Slobbs-No; tumbled.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06
Daily Thought.

Be calm in arguing; for fierceness
makes error fault, and truth discour.
tesy.-Ceorge Herbet.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1913-03-06

corrects constipation Munyon's Paw-Paw
Pills are tonic to the stomach, liver and
nerves They invigorate instead Ct weaken;
they enrich the blood instead of impover-
ishing it: they enable the stomach to get all
the nourishment from food that is put into
it Price IS cents All Druggists