davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
4 ifer9ru Confideucac

Percollum-It's no light job, let me
tell you, to write descriptive poem
1900 words long. even about gold
en- wedding. When / had finished this
one, old chap, I was all in.
Regstaff docking it over
comrade, that's more than ever will
happen to the poem
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
GHdsd Pets

Riches" said the ready made phil.
osopher, have wings, disturb our resi-
and require constant care
81 suppose So" replied Mr.. Dustin
Stax: but human nature is human
nature, and We will keep on wanting
dollars the same as women want dogs
and Canary birds"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Not So Smart

Here's a smart fellow shows up
the lawyers remarked DR.. Squills
rs that so? What does he say?'
We'll, no natter / see I was mis-
taken in my estimate of him. A lit
tie further on the scoundrel attempts
q vsIlify the medical profession"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
No CoIara TbarA

My fayorite football team" COM
planned the gridiron enthusiast, lis
losing right along this season.
We'll, said the baseball enthusiast,
''it is always better to do your losing
early in the season.
Il know that axiom goes good in
baseball, but we've got such a darn
short season"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Not a Heller.

$50 she's gone in for athletics"
81 should say SO. I found that out
when | tried to kiss her"
she?"
mo, that was me you heard ho!ler.
ing for help"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
CLASSIFYING Him,

Brother Hardesty, can't you make
your contribution for the education of
the heather a little larger than usual
this year,"
Or Goodman, I'm more than dou-
bling it; | have just started that
youngest boy of mine to college"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Real Reason

4 didn't know she was left-hand-
ed"
She isn't
But she seems to do everything
with her left hand
Yes. Haven't you noticed the en-
gagement ring?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
In New York.

The stranger entered the pank and
approached the nearest teller
Il want to make a deposit he said.
The teller looked around cautious
ly, and when be spoke mis- voice had
dropped TO 2 whisper
Savings, commercial or poIice?" he
asked
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
His End.

links had a perfect craze for an
tiques."
Perhaps he had, but he need not
have carried his mania SO far az to
have married one"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Different Now.

Father, did mother accept you
the first time --ou proposed to herr"
Yes, my dear; but since then any
proposal that l have ever made she
has scornfully rejected
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
a Need,

There ought to be some place
where people can be treated who
think they are actors"
We'll, there are plenty of places
where they cure hams"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
A NiGhtm are.

e had terrible dream last night"
What was it?'
Il dreamed that I was the father Of
a girl who was dancing bare-legged In
a musical show for 1925 a week"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
q REGULAR Cut-Up.

Mrs Clancy-The daredevil would
loight his poipe wild a stick az dyna-
mite and"
Mrs Hogan-It was jest loike Tim
Whatll ne be dom ne1t?-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Agreed,

When one reads of unsanitary ba-
keries, this question Of homemade
bread becomes a weighty one"
1t is weighty, indeed, if your wife
undertakes to make it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Not Missed,

And when a pessimist pegs out
Drains Hfe's last drop and drops the
cup,
The hole he leaves is like the hole
They put him in. It's soon filed up
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

Parker-Tell me about Switzerland
romantic Switzerland.
Barker-Well, there are few bad
places as you come down the noun
tains, but in the main the roads are
pretty good.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Mind Eeader.

First Straphanger = Look out!
You're treading on my feet.
Second Straphange r-Beg pardon,
I also prefer to ride in a cab.-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Mot a CSmniaiut

Well Oscar, we ought to get in
that picture also, should think"
mo, you needn't be on every plate.
I took my camera along to have some
pleasant recollections of the trip"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup for ChilC@en
teething, softens the gums, reduces intiamma-
ton, alays pain cures wind collie, Zoe bottle Adv
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Care nf Children

Willie. did you carry your books
on the left side this morning." de-
manded mother.
Yes m"
Very well. Now, don't forget tC
carry them on the right side Monday
morning
What difference does it maker
growled dad.
THAT shows what kind Of father
you are" snapped mother IF the
child didn't alternate. he might get
curvature of the spine"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Still in the Rim

She-I see our friend the colonel Is
married again
He-Indeed! 1 thought his fighting
days were over.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Just Words,

The Agent-Then We'll consider
that settled
The Actor-But-er- abou@
the contract?
The Agent-Oh, that's all right! A
verbal contract'H do.
The Actor-Laddie, listen. The
last time I had a verbal contract, I
drew a verbal salary!-London Opin,
ion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

Didn't Daisy tell you she was going
to treat Jack real mean when he
called?"
Yes"
well, she sang for him all even
Ing"
My, oh, my! He didn't deserve
that brutality
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
PSrado%icaI.

I watched a girl upon the street
And maryeled as she Wobbled-
How she could beat it, as she did,
And yet be straightly hobbled.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Sympathy and a KnocI

I'm so sorry for Mrs Green"
'Why?"
She. has so much trouble, poor
thing, and It's all her own fault. too.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
Wool!

The men who make the "girly" show
Do not do things by halves;
They star a milkmaid chorus so
That it can show it's calves.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

If a man didn't have a wife he prob
ably wouldn't know that he had neigh
bOrS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16
ASK FOR ALIENS FOOy-EASE

ASh IUf6 ALEIS , TUU f-I1EASEs
the Antiseptic powder to shake into your
shoes. Relieves Corns, Bunions. IngroWing
Nails, Swollen and Sweating feet. Rlsters
and Callous spots. Sold everywhere, 25c
Don't accept any substitute. Sample FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy, N Y ADV.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

Don't you think Shakespeare
Smith, the poet, has an interestingly
mournful expression?"
Sure. l wonder if it is caused by
dyspepsia, due to overeating, or ane.
mia, due to lack of food?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-16

Fully two-thIrds of what the average
man says is of no consequence.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
COLLEGE PROF.
TO REPRESENT
u. S. IN CHINA

Washington, ID. c.. July 16.-Dr
Paul Rensch, professor of politica
economy in the University of Wiscon
sin, has been selected for minister tc
China.
Secretary Bryan Dr. Reinsch and
President Wilson had long confer
ence at the White House today, after
which it became known that DR..
Reinsch's name would be sent to the
senate probably Friday.
DR.. Reinsch is writer of recogniZ-
ed authority on Oriental topics and
far eastern politics. His works on
these subjects have been translated
into Japanese, Chinese, Spanish and
German Dr. Reinsch was born in Mil
waukee in 1869. was educated in
Berlin, Rome and Paris and began
college work at the University of
Wisconsin in 1899. He has been ac-
tive in Pan-American conference, So
cieties for the study of international
law and historical research. He is
married and lives in Madison.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
SIXTEEN MEN IMPRISONED
IN MINE By WATER

Duluth, Mimi. July ia special
to the Herald from Eveleth, Mimi.
says:
Sixteen men are imprisoned in the
No. Spruce mine here as a result OF
an in.rush of water following terrific
rain this morning. Over 200 who
were in the workings escaped The
mine belongs to the Oliver Mining
company subsidiary of the U. S,
Steel Corporation.
The water is now said to be slowly
receding. 1t is not known yet wheth-
er the sixteen imprisoned men drown
ed but they have about one chance
in one thousand. They are caught in
.an upper level, it is said, and it is
barely possible the water did not
reach them. A large force of men
are bulkheading the water from
flowing into the mine while the pumps
are working.
The sixteen imprisoned men are all
married and the police are having diff
ficulty in keeping back grief crazed
crowd of women and children.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
CRIMINAL ACTION IS
TO Be STARTED
ILLINOIS JUDGES DECIDE GUGGENHEIM
DIVORCE WAS 0BAINED BY FRAUD and
INSTRUCT STATES ATTORNEY TO
PROSECUTE GUILTY PARTIES.

Chicago, ILL.,, July 16.-Declaring
that the divorce of VIM. Guggenheim
the millionaire mining man, from
Grace Brown Guggenhe -Wahl in
1901 was obtained by fraud, colluson
and criminal conspiracy, Judges Win
des, Heard and Baldwin, today in
structed States Attorney Hoyne to
proceed in criminal action against the
alleged parties to the fraud.
Residents of Illinois cannot be
prosecuted because the statute of lin
itations precludes action said AS
sistant States Attorney Raber, but
we can proceed against the principals
to the suit who are non-residents and
therefore cannot profit by the statute
of limitations
Mrs. -Wahl seeking in
various suits to have the divorce de-
clared invalid because in obtaining 1t
she swore falsely that she was resi-
dent of Illinois, testified that she
acted on advice of counsel for her
husband
The judges today denied a motion
made by States Attorney Hoyne as
friend of the court, to eXpunge the
record of the divorce, declaring that
the matter should be taken before the
appellate court which has the ques-
tions involved under consideration.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
CHINA ON BRINK
OF A CIVIL
WAR
NUMBER OF SOUTHERN PROVINCES
PREPARING TO DECLARE INDE.
PENDENCE AND FORM CONFED.
ERACY.- TROOPS BEING RUSHED
TO SCENE.
JAPAN may Be
AIDING REVOLUTION|STS

! Peking, July 16.-The provinces of
Kiang 81, Kiang Su, Kwang 81, Fo
Kien, SEE Cheun, Human, Ngan-Hwei
and kwang Tung are preparing to
declare their indenendence and to
form a southern Chinese confederacy,
according to apparently authoritative
statements current here.
Fighting continues in the province
of Kiang-S, and large numbers of
northern troops are proceeding there.
The attitude of the Japanese is bit
terly commented on here. The Chin
ese believe they are stirring up strife
everywhere and Japanese officers are
said to be fighting on the side of the
rebels The presence of Japanese
gunboats in the fighting zone lends
color to this belief The southerners
openly claim that they have received
assurances of Japanese support.
Commenting on an alleged speech
by the Japanese minister designated
to China in which Yuan kai's action
was criticized the representatives
pointedly refer to recall of Charles
Crane, former U. S. minister to China.
after his interview in Chicago, and
iptimated that similar action would
be advisable in the case of En1iro
Ramaza.
The German consulate at Nan
King was surrounded today by insurg-
ents. 1t was stated that in the event
of an attack, the Germans intended to
adopt their own measures for protec-
ton The trouble apparently arose
owing to the Germans recently per-
hitting the extradition of two revolu-
tionaries who had taken refuge in the
German legation at Hankow.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
SUICIDES WHEN GIRL
REFUSES HIM
RANCH MANAGER TRIES TO FORCE GIRL
TO MARRY HIM At The POINT OF Al
REVOlvER.--SHE ESCAPES and he IS
ARRESTED AND KILLS HIMSELF IN JAIL,

Castle Rock, Colo, July 16.-After
having been arrested on the charge
of attempting to kill Miss Gross, be-
cause she refused to marry him,
Charles Checilius, ~ years of age,
manager of the Ewing-McMillan ranch
near here committed suicide in his
cell early this morning by hanging
himself with a strap from his artificial
leg. Immediately upon his arrest he
declared to the sheriff his intention of
killing himself. To prevent it, If
possible, the sheriff removed the ar
tificial leg and all instruments by
which he believed the prisoner could
carry out his threat The straps to
the leg We're left dangling from the
stump of the limb.
7 According to information obtained
by the authorities, Crecilius and Miss
Gross were riding when he proposed
marriage to her. He is said to have
threatened her with death upon her
refusal, and SO frightened her that
she leaped from the buggy, falling in
the road Crecilius was charged with
having fired shot at her while she
lay PROSTATE. The young woman
rose and ran to the ranch house of
Cole Bristow nearby, where she was
followed by Crecilius who is said by
the Bristow's to have fired several
revolver shots in the house in an ef-
fort to- make them deliver Miss Gross
to him.
Mrs. Bristow telephoned for the
sheriff, who arrived in an automobile
and arrested Crecilius.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
B, & 0. and S.P. STOCK
IS TRANSFERRED
UNION PACIFIC TRADES S. P. STOCK TO
PENNSYLVANIA ROAD FOR BALTIMORE
AND OHIO. IS PRESIDENT WILLARD
TALKS.

Baltimore. Md, July 16.--Comment'
/ ing on the transfer of $3S,0000O0 oi
Southern Pacific stock by the Union
Pacific railroad for abont $i2000,00
Baltimore and Ohio stock by the Penn
sylvania railroad, which was consum-
mated today, President Daniel Willard
iof the Baltimore and Ohio said
There is no reason to suppose that
the Baltimore and Ohio railroad COM
pany will lose anything by the large
exchange of stock ownership. and it
is not likely that il will gain any.
thing by the arrangement. Its policy
in the future will continue as IL has
been in the past. Baltimore will con-
tnue to be the chief Atlantic port of
the Baltimore and Ohio railroad. This
will not be actuated by sentimental
motives only but it will do it because
il is for the best interests of the prop
erty to do So"
Mr.. Willard stated that he believed
the Pennsylvania had been more en-
barrassed by the ownership of Balti-
more and Ohio stock than the Baltl'
more and Ohio had because of the ar
but that whatever the sit
uation may have been in the past. in
the future it could be said most en-
phatically that the Baltimore and Ohio
is an independent property and free
to do whatever seems best for its own
and for the advancement
of the communities which it serves.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
EXCESSIVE HEAT
PARBO(L(NG
MIDDLE WEST

Omaha Neb., July 16.-Two deaths
this morning in Omaha. Abbott
Clarke, an invalid at the county hos
ptal, and George Magner, mechanic.
was overcome yesterday at his home.
Several prostrations We're reported
during the forenoon.
1906 at Burlington.
Burlington, Ia, July l6.-Ihe gov
ernrment thermometer registered 100
degrees today, the hottest day in local
history in the present century
Lincoln, Neb., July l6.--The hiehes'
temperature since 1911 was officially
reported here today when the ther-
mometer registered l07 degrees For
the past three days EASTERN Nebraska
has sweItered in a terrific heat wave.
The rising temperature today was
accompanied by scorching winds
which carried with it further damage
to corn, according to reports from
towns. No prostrations
were reported here.
113 at Clay Center.
Kansas City Mo, July 16.-The ex-
cessive heat of yesterday when the
thermometer reached 113 at Clay
Center, Kansas, and 100 and over in
many points in western Missouri was
unabated through the two states to-
day according to official reports to
the local U. S. weather observer.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
Rebel View of Situation.

Douglasi Ariz., July l16-Advices
that foreign governments were bring
ing pressure to bear at Washington
to induce the United States to inter
fere in Mexico created considerable
apprehension among the constitution
alist government officials of Sonora
today and caused them to issue a
statement that the rebels throughout
Mexico have always treated Ameri-
cans with the highest respect.
The constitutionalist representatives
on this side of the boundary said that
their greatest desire was to prevent
foreign Intervention.
"We submitted to the temporary de-
feat involved in Obregon's retirement
from Guaymas at the request of the
foreign consuls," said one leader to-
lay "Huerta is losing and wants to
orce Intervention. We do not"
Carranza Protests.
Eagle Pass, Texas, July 16.-Urg-
ng that the constitutionalists in
Mexico be granted rights of belliger-
nts by the United States government
Governor Carranza, the rebel leader,
Wired long protest to Washington
oday against recognition of Provision.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
FAYETTE JONES
PRESIDENT OF
SCHOOL OF MINES

Socorro. n. NJ, July l6.-Prof. Fay
ette A. Jones, OF Albuquerque. to-
day was elected president Of the New
Mexico School of Mines, focated
here. at meeting Of the board OF
regents of the institution. Only one
other name for president was con-
sidered by the board. that of DR.. r.
A. Drake, the retiring president The
vote was along strict party lines.
Professor Jones receiving the three
Democratic members votes for presi
dent. while the two Republican board
members voted for Mr.. Drake, The
election of Prof Jones was ten
tatively decided on last week and the
formal, ratification of his election
for the place yesterday was therefore
not surprise. The new president Is
expected to take active charge of the
school at an early date and arrange
for the opening of the fall and winter
term in September Professor Jones
is not stranger to Socorro people,
he having been president of the School
of Mines some years ago.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16

don't believe he had any Other mo
tlVeS.
Another Mulhall letter about Il cam
paisn against Congressman Johl J
Gardner, of New Jersey, said in part,
'Defeating man like Gardner will
have more effect on radical congress
men than all the letters we could
write in a year.
On March 10. 1908. Mulhall wrote
Schwedtman that Chairman Sherman,
of the Republican congressional com.
nittee date vicc-presdentl had dis.
tinctly told him that every effort
should be made to defeat Gardner" D"
He added that he learned from Bar
tholdt, Sherman and others that the
Littletield pilotage bill in which the
manufacturers were interested, could
be passed if Littlefield would "let up"
or his prohibition bill Later confer.
ences with Sherman, Cannon and 9TH
ars he wrote. led him to believe the
prohibition bill must be kept in com
mittee.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
Is FINED $500
FOR WEARING
a SLIT SKIRT

| Richmond, Va, July lG,--Blossom
browning paid a $25 fine in Judge
Crutchtield's court here today for
wearing slit skirt and declared she
intended to go to New York at once
where people are not prudlsh.' She
vas charged with indecent exposure.
The skirt, slit knee high and held by
the police as evidence. was restored
to Miss Browning on her promise to
sew up the slash or not to appear in
the streets of Richmend without a
petticoat.
Miss Brownng's lawyer argued that
the sale of the skirt by licensed de-
partment store permitted her to wear
it Judge Crutchfeld replied that a
city license for the sale of fire arms
did not authorize murder.
The justice, after an inspection Of
the offending skirt. blushingly fined
the defendant, who paid with the re-
tcrt that Richmond was most ILL
beral city"
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1913-07-16
TURKEY TRIES
To REGAIN
GROUND
NOW THAT THE BALKAN ALLIES ARE
FIGHTING AMONG THEMSELVES,
TURKEY ATTEMPTS TO PUSH
TROOPS IN EUROPEAN TERRITORY
BULGARIANS ARE
CHAMPION PILLAGERS

Sofia, July 16.-Turkish troops yes
terday crossed the new frontier line
between Bulgaria and Turkey, run
ming from Enos on the Aegean sea to
/ Mdia on the Black sea. They al
ready have penetrated a distance of
nearly 20 miles into the Burnarhissar
region, the Bulgarian troops offerino
no opposition.
The Christians in the district are
alleged to be fleeing before the Turk
ish troops owing to their eXcesses.
1t was officiall confirmed today that
the cabinet under Premier Daneff had
resigned.
Turkeys Bold Action.
Constantinople. July 16--The gov
ernment is determined to push for
ward Ottoman troops as far as Ardi-
anople, captured by the Bulgarians
during the recent Balkan war.
1t intends to take this bold action
not only because of the material ad-
vantages to be gained but because of
the moral effect it will have on Tur-
keys international situation.
1t is expected that by this means
the position of the government will
be strengthened and consolidated and
it is felt that even if the powers in
sist on bringing pressure to bear to
compel the maintenance of the future
frontier line between TURKEY and Bull
frnn nm a.
to Midia on the Black sea. Turkey will
yet be in position to enforce the
of the province of Thrace.
Stories of BrutaIities Confirmed.
Saloniki, July 16.--Full confrma-
ton of the reported sacking and
burning of the Macedonian town of
Seres by the fleeing Bulgarian troops
and of the crucitxion, hanging to
itants, has been sent to the Austro-
government by Consul
General August kral of Saloniki.
Threefourths of the former -four
mass of smoking ruins, says the con-
sui general, who has just returned
from Seres.
Another horrifying story of massa-
ere reached here today from Doiran,
forty miles northwest of Saloniki.
Mussulmans there have made writ
en- declaratio countersigned by
.hree Bulgarian priests that the Bull
,arans slaughtered thirty thousand
who had sought refuge
n Doiran.