The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-01-23
JUST "JEEMS."
He Moves on From Albany and Goes
Into Business.

There are some very finicky people
in Albany.
1 started out to make a social call
on a gentleman of high social standing
at 2 o'clock in the morning, and he
his night-shirt, but had a gun in his
hand.
1t was principally for this reason
that 1 refused to continue the inter-
view and told him he was no gentle
man. rHS
He had the further defiance of the
rules of etiquette to visit police head
quarters next morning and give a de-
scription of me and ask that l be
hunted up and made sorry. 1 was
strolling about and thinking what a
priceless boon personal liberty was
when detective asked me to walk to
headquarters with him.
Il shall be delighted to meet your
Chief 1 replied as we walked along.
Are you sure that call from me will
not put him out?''
Dead sure. He likes to meet your
sort
Then he is interested in geology2''
You ought hear him talk of the
drift period b-v
Good. I'll try and draw him out"
"And he'll do the same by YOU
When we had come into the presence
of the IT, he looked me over with
scowl on his face and asked:
1.-The back door wasn't bolted. Why
didn't you get into the house that way,
instead of spelling a Window"
House? Door? Window"
Don't try to be too smart, young
feller!
II never try. came here to talk
geology with you. I understand you
are way up on the drift period"
Il am. I want you to drift out of
Albany by the first canal boat that
within a year I'll freeze on to you
good and solid!"
You have a charming town. 1 VEN
tured to observe.
But no room for crooks" he replied
in a way to hurt the feelings of an
honest man.
Your city is also a historical one"
UNI"
1T was settled by the Dutch, I I'M
derstand."
"Um.'
THE Dutch are great settlers. They
have always settled with me with
great promptness.'
''Get out of this or I'll lock you up
I'll give you two hours to get out of
town"
''As a man well-posted on the drift
period, in which direction would yo'
advise me to go?
Sing Singl"
I saw that he voted the wrong
ticket on election day and had
crouch on, and so I rose up and with
drew from his presence. 1t was for
me to move on. 1 never bother the
police if 1 can help it. They are over
worked and underpaid. and never get
sleep enough. 1 started for the depot
instead of the canal, as I prefer a
Pullman when I travel, but 1 had not
yet reached my destination when a
hand was laid on my arm and voice
said:
Mister man can you direct me to
sheep pelts?''
I'm sorry to say I can't replied.
Il drove into the burg today to sell
some geese feathers and catnip, but
no one seems to want SIGH things"
My inquirer had the dress and bear |
ing of a son of toll, and / could see no !
guile in mis- eye.
"How's turnips coming on?' he |
asked as we walked along together. |
big as washtubs Are you raising
any cabbages?"
Jest a few acres. Farming is an |
profession.
1T sure beats broom making"
You rise with the lark, you know,
And the birds sing for YOU"
And while you sleep your corn is
on the job
And when you are away you buy
bogus silver mines,'' 1 said.
Yea our innocence is taken adj /
of on every hand. Like other
lambs, have been shorn. Young
man, let's go into the waiting room
and discuss agriculture at further
length. 1 have. taken a liking to you.
Didst ever hold the jovial plow?''
Hardly ever"
"Didst ever hoe the tasting corn ?"
you see, / am an orphan and the
world has never given me a show"
"Didst ever dig the robust 'tater
from the soil?''
I've been too busy digging for my
ballroom rent.
There is joy in the scent of the
white clover that never comes to the
dwel1er in a city. At MONDAY the
COWS stand in the shade and swl.