davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17
FRANTIC FABLES
By Henry Horsecollar

Where the average man would gs
forth TO the thcater OF a Saturday
evening. ! was in the habit OF paying
a visit to my friend Nigel Pigeon
head.
Nigel was faddist and his fads
were far more interesting than d
comic opera. because they were
somewhat originai-and no must,
went with them.
ON one occasion he told me thai
he proposed to buy barre
% apples and eat the skins
lie said he'd discovered that IN,
skins contained lot OF snhydrates
ard phosehOrescence and all that sori
81 thing. on another occasion hs
explained a new theory he had de-
vised for storing up energy In his
system. He intended. he said 10 put
glass casters on his bed and TO plac,
the bed In "A direct line with the mag
netio currents OF the earth. He told
me that this would make sort Of a
Leyden jar out OF his body AZ an.
other time he told me how he had
just bought silk hat and had
punched Il fun of holes In order u
ventilate his head.
But somehow or other n AWAY
seemed To me that Nigel rather en-
joyed telling about his schemes mora
than ne eujoyed executing them.
One saturday evening ! rcplenished
my cigarette case aud set out fof
Pipeonhead's apartment. arrived
AT s:i5 and found him wrapped az
as usual In a brand new theory.
Instead Of taking breakfast any
more" said Nigel. after We had
ttghted our cigarettes - take an
Ice bath. It's great. You get in tho
cold water and rub piece OF Ice All
over yourself until your skin looks
the color OF wild rose" And lao
took me In the bathroom 10 explain
more thoroughly. you get out" he
went on, feeling az as blnzcs. why
don't you try it?"
/ replied that ! didn't have to Rub
Ice On myself-that my landlady kept
my room az "a temperature that made
Il unnecessary.
u was from that date that Nigel
began losing Interest Tor me. lie
kept harping ON that ice bath idea
until ! got tired listening 10 him. and
I didn't Ro near him FOR weeks.
When I Judged that the tad had
worn or / ventured IN 10 have an
evenings chat with him But we
had no sooner settled ourselves when
my heart sank
SAY, Henry" ne biurted, 1--WE got
an addition Go that ice bsth''--and
he dragged me In 10 see IL.
when We returned 90 the library
he noted a thoughtful expression on
my face.
II see" he cried enthusiasticaIly.
i've got you interested at last. Isn't
Ii ao?"
~ admit that you have. Nigel" 4
said I'm going 10 have another
look al that tub II you don't mind.
sure thing; go right ahead" he
said.
When returned ne could hardly
contain himself
~ knew" he said. that you'd
rome around In time! what de- YOU
think VI IL now?'
/ settled myself In an easy chair
ana pulled my cigarette for some
moments.
why. rs this Nigcl.' said
slowly. THE first time you showed
nae that tub. several weeks ago,
accidentally dropped some cigarette
ashes In ID. and have lust observed
hat they are there YET
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17


a &kssnta Is Ihs lAi|
iH'H feHea HeHelaiipn. hn'
tA y - leok - siheH erassflcAl
.,'.ie. = ~ ses*fn q Hon
aFtff ~ r~spNen * Man Mears
..t.N -
~ ''''','''N ~ gig ife1 NpY'
These y lani'iN4 Hlug 70 me
tssiAteA nelleas ana llie uofa pic
fuiinH tiui there = assss sssan tsss'
pfrnssi q s's's s''sseA ~e md
f'aie - nleniei ehspA fs@ulalns
from leaffni ulaoh % Nartins con-
fse''FnH Nhleh certainly eniisiep ~.
FpsEp@pn % our ~np@ihys wi,ieh y
s'ealH sxteAdee
III Fetensson asst states thai
be Opposed fr4a wool III eau
eaa beIie,ine shat "a would
hase been better Tor the wool
lataslfS Ia his STATE aad mors in
aeeefdanee eilA the Wishes or his
consl|lnenis io ianee gnfrR u 70
pef etnl ~ relaffm on woot Hav-
lne Annoupe&a shis ses o. convictions
Mr Fefppspcn soes on 20 explain why
Nj b going q sota Tor fren wool
aenlsiai these consicslpns. The rear
ron IN brlaf 80 heoauee u an0aher set
d COMMISSIONS On she snmo subject
which tally coptfadIcs and consrovert
t'te Nrsl pet ~ convictions referred
~. Mr. Frrgu4non saJn:
II have tha hone ALMOST
nmaanlsnr to absolute hnlief. thnt
ira wool Win b hStter for NM ststu
.,,a ~. .n.,.rro.,..,s \, s,'.rxr','er. AZ
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

The news that Japanese had
bought several suburban lots IN New
Jersey melted New Yorker to write
10 the papers urging that bettleships
be az once sent up the Rhritan and
the Passaic We are not worried
about the RIO orandc yet.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17
JABS PIss X ..'''


WAR
Tho sunshine SMILES and dies away,
Tie planets circle lhroAeh ihe aky
Eath hour fA1ee into yesterday.
And VIZ can emily muFmnf. Whyq
WASHINGTON star.
The lccnan goes and waves farewell
And comes The coal u,an br and ~,
The schooibny heo0a tho Flnnihr bell
And We can only murmur. whys"
--Dunser pububiitah.
Ere long the Christmas gifts wa see.
And then We havo 81 btsy and bug.
We viii SO broke a. broke can be.
And W. can only murmur. "Whyf''
--Isos Anseles A,xpFess.
The cfiekel's melodies have ceased
The sweet Wild nowers come 10 DIE.
The plumber hunaera for che Toast.
And We can only murmur. "Why o.
ISL Louis Post Dltpatch.
The styles have chansod--she tells me
that
For styles arc only born 20 die;
Sho's got 10 have another hat.
And wo can nnlf muFmur. "Why -
Detroit Free Press.
sprlEg has come full sell We know.
For the fisherman proceeds 10 IT,.
About the big ones hear him blow.
And we can only murmur. why"
--Donothan Eagle.
Yes. spring has corne. the turtle dove
Declares u. and che cl0udlesa sky,
while lads and la.sies fan in love
And We can only murmur. WHY"
Co.
THE COURSE OF probing never ala
run smooth. 0Igara. for instance.
o.
THE REAL MEANEsT man H. he
who kills your hen and then throws
her over the fence into your yard.
o.
NOBODY BCT a rank piker viii
dodge that 10000 state fair commit.
tee.
IN THE MATTER % gun play New
York Is the most dangerous frontier
town In the United states.
o.
scanning the Sidewalk.
A girl should keep her eyes cast down:
n keeps her out Of pickles.
And now and then a. she's down town
she's apt 70 and stray nsckies.
o.
WHEN WE READ that headline
''shriners Fiji Gniyeston''---the 3eau-
tiful and inspiring thought that came
to mind WAS why in the mischief
didn't Galveston reclprocate?
o.
TEXAS HAS no end OF pull with
the new administration. Witness the
general, the tariff on goats
and the girl whose picture Is TO be
ON the new paper money.
r o.
MRS. WOODROW wilson," says a
statement given out az the White
House, has the happy faculty OF
her own business" Well.
her husband. seems to be mindins
everybody else's.
60
DRUNKENNESS. says an expert Of
the Houston Post. may be defined as
that degree Of spinicatl0n which
greatly impairs ones ability 10 sing
the "oid Oaken Bucket" and "The
Rosary but which al the same time
Strengthens ones determination q
make the attempt
O.
PA, here's something IN this ncws-
paper about the chorus girl lure.
What does that mean, pag"
"Ahem," coughed pa. with know
ing smile .i,at suddenly frOze on his
lace 1T means nothing that con-
eerns you. son. Don't you see your
mother standing IN the door? Go 10
her 90 once"
O.
Naval NOMENCLATURE
Tho Secretary Of the Navy has or
Tered that port and starboard be now
known AZ left and riRht-Nows Item.
II port and starboard now
Are known az left and right
I a'pose 10 call the bow
The front porch" would bo bright
Ia speaking Of the hold
Wen need another name.
The cellar / am told.
VIII answer for the SAINT
4 CLOTHES pole" IL the mast
The honest sea dog sanlrms.
But we have heard the last
OF an the larry terms.
--Grins and Groans.
go ~N~~ ~NNN NAe
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

After "a hearty meal. take Doan's
Rcguiets and assist your stomach,
liver and bowels. RegulctH arc "a
mild laxative. s5c al all stores.
Adv.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

Professor Wiser what effect does
the moon have upon the tideY
sweet Co Ed None Il affects only
the united. - Judge,
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

Everybody's frIend--Dr Thomas
Eclectic or the great household
remedy for toothache. earache, sore
throat. cuts. bruises. scaids. Sold al
ISL drug stores 25c and soc. adv.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

Undecided Customer Gin Partisan
shop )-~how much easier Il IL 70
chgvss huabeno'-eketch
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

Tho 4AnanInt SMILES and dies away,
TIE planets circle lhroAah the sky.
Eath hour IA1ea into yesterday.
And We can enly muFmnr. Whygf
washington star
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1913-05-17

And comes The coal u,an b. and ~
The schqolbny hee0a tire ringing Vel
And We can only murinur. whye'
Denver DtnuBiirah
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
Hennery's Love Token.

Hennery's Love Token.
A young colored woman, tall and
slender. was standing at the northeast
corner of Washington and Illinois
street when two women acquaintance
stopped and addressed her.
my. my. Liza. who done black 70
poo eye d~at-a-way?"
Who done black my eye?" said the
tall. slim one. You want to know
who done black my eye? My Hen
merry done black my eye, dat's who!"
II wouldn't let any nan black my
eye" said one Of the acquaint-
,ances.
"Ah. yo' dom know my Hennery.
Dis black y jes' shows how he
loves me. an dat's de kinder man I
kes."-Indianapolis News.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL
IN REMOTE PROVINCE
Many of Plans for New City
Modelled After the American
City Beautiful.
From the Washington Star.

Because OF the visit to Washington
. coupe of years ago of the com
mission which was charged with the
duty Of outlining a plan for the de-
~velopment of the then proposed
new capital for the continent of
Australia, considerable local inter-
est attaches to the completed de-
sign for this new metropolis. An
nouncefnent has just been made OF the
award to Walter Burnley Griffin, ar
chttect n landscape architect OF Chi
cago, ILL.,, OF the first prize in the com
petition for preparation of designs for
the new city. The new capital will be
erected on a site selected in the an
berra district; New south Wales.
The coinlnission which visited
Warrington also visited many other
cities in this country. as We'll as the
capitals principal cities Of the old
world, and local pride may we'll find
cause for exultation in the fact that
In quite a few of it's features the new
capital of Australia will closely follow
the lines Of Washington, the capital of
the United States.
Formed IL Years Ago.
The present commonwealth OF Aus
tralia was formed in 1900 by q fed
grafton of several Australian colonies
and the constitution provided for the
establishment of a capital city to be
located In a federal district owned by
the general government. so as to be
independent OF the Individual states.
This arrangement is based upon that
Of Washington. located in the Dis
tr1ct OF Columbia. The territory Sc
lected has an area Of about 900 square
miles. Thc site prescribed for the city
(hve miles square, exclusive of su-
burbs) is in the northern part of this
district. about 10 miles southwest
from sydney, 800 miles northeast from
Melbourne and ITO miles from the east
coast. It's average elevation is 1000
feet above. sea level, but 1t includes
mountain ranges with peaks rising to
Q height OF over 5000 feet. Across THE
cite flows the MoioglO river, q sluggish
stream 900 feet wide, but subject to
0oods.
The water supply will be obtained
by gravity from the Cotter river,
which is satisfactory both as to quail
lty and purity. and is a mountain
stream having u mean flow Of over
8 100000 gallons daily.
The sewerage system has not heen
worked out. but involves separation
OF sewage from the storm water be-
cause OF the extreme variation in the
1reshet run-Off, for which an open
channel system to the Molonglo basins
has been Indicated. For the filtration
OF sewage there are available in the
tracts which may be used for irriga-
ton and fertilization, and It Is sug-
gested that several different areas
could serve respective sections OF the
city.
Site in Wild Country.
The cite selected for the city IL a wild
and open country, with no settle
% that In planning the city the de-
oiEners had q free hand M no arti-
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08

from tho instrument the salesman noticed
= frown on. my brow. !
'slsIs that mel. I asked. In response to.
his look Of inquiry
SIR
..Really me. Just asxI playedr.'
"Precisely. sir. precisely. And now
sid he. do you want 20 buy h phono-
sNNo. said I. want to sell tho
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
Feminine Amenities

feminine Amenities.
Amy Tooer-I've a great mind 70
lsk some manager to give me \ trial.
Sou Brette-Don't, dear; you'll be
condemned. sure.-Boston Transcript.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
Specifying.
adele has some telling ways
yes. and n Of them IL that she
.an't keep a secret"

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
o n,sllays pain.cures wind collie, Sc bostlsaAn
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08

To the victor belongs the privilege
of paying the. freight.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
THE RIGHT SOAP FOR BABY's

In the a r Of baby's skin and hair.
cuticura Soap 10 the mothers IA
vorite. Not only is 1t unrivaled In
purity and refreshing fragrance, but
tts gentle emollient properties are
usually suflcient to allay minor irri-
tations, remove redness, roughness
and chafng. soothe sensitive condi-
tons. and promote skin and hair
health generally. Assisted by Cuti-
cura Ointment, IL 10 most valuable In
the treatment Of eczemas, rashes and
itching. burning infantile eruptions.A
Cuticura Soap wears to q wafer. often
outlasting several cakes of ordinary
soap and making Its use most eco
nomical.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample OF each
tree, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post.
card "Cuticura, Dept. L. Boston. Adv.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
Mental subtiet,

Mental subtiety.
On the steamer in midocean-F1rst
Old Chappie-Going across?
ter.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1913-08-08
piscovered.

Little Johnny. who is Of an inquir-
ing turn, was having . quiet talk
with his mother, Johnny wanted to
know why Mr.. Juggins married Mn.
Juggins. His mother wasn't able to
tell very clearly. Johnny thought .
while and then asked:
Mother. Why did you marry my
dad?"
Johnny. 4 married your father be-
cause he saved me from drowning"
replied his mother.
"IM bet that's. why pops always
tellin' me not to & In swimmin'."
said Johnny.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

have excavated the prism for an eighty five foot level canal in about seventy three days.
 The amounts removed from differ ent drainage basins show interesting comparisons In respect to dissolved
 matter. the Southern Pacific basin heads the list with IF tons per square
 mile per year. the Northern Atlantic
 basin being next with l3O tons. The rate for the Hudson bay basin, twenty eight tons. is lowest; that for the Colo rado and Western Gulf of Mexico basins is somewhat higher. The de- nudation estimates for the Southern | Atlantic basin correspond very closely I to those for the entire United States l The amounts are generally lowest Tor streams in the arid and semi arid re- l gions. because large areas there con | tribute little or nothing to the run-off The Southern Pacific basin is an lm- portant exception to this general rule ] presumably because of the extensive 1 practice of irrigation in that area. Th' amounts are highest in regions of higi
 rainfall though usually the waters II those sections are not so highly mn eralzed as the waters of the stream
 in arid regions.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

NOT GUilTY-Carlos Lares was charged in Judge Johnstone's court with an aggravated assault on his nephew. He was found not guilty.
 MACDONALD FROM RAY-J. 0. Mcdonald, manager of he cOncentrat- ing plant of the Ray Consolidated com pany is in the city from his headquar- ters at Ray He motored over from the growing city the day before yesterday, and he went to Roosevelt and returned yesterday
 MlCHEALSON HERE-George J. Michealson, vice president of the Yuma National Bank, and a member of the state board of examiners appointed shortly after statehood to make an eX- animation on the condition of the state i institutions is in the city for a few days on business. TEXANS ATTENTlON-All Texans are requested to meet at the Central 1 Methodist church tonight for the pur- i pose of starting the plans for the Texas
 society San Jacinto day celebration. 1 All citizens of Texas who have not
 heretofore joined the society are re- 1 quested to be present as they are well :; come to the meeting and requested to l join.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14
LAND EROSION sTuPENDous

The surface of the United states IS being removed at the rate of thirteen ten -thOusandths of an inch year, or one inch in 760 years. according to the United States Geological Survey Though this amount seems trlVlal when spread over the surface of the country, it becomes stupendous when
 considered as a total, for over 270,-
 900, ,O0O tons of dissolved matter and
 513000OO0 tons of suspended matter
 are transported to tidewater every
 year by the streams of the United
 States This total of 7S3,000,OO0 tons
 represents more than 35O,OOO.O .OOO cubic yards of rock substance, or 61O,0OO.000 cubic yards of surface soil. If this erosive action had been concentrated upon the Isthmus of Panama at the l time of American occupation, 1t would
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14
. COLE EXPECTED TO RETURN

COLE EXPECTED TO RETURN sOON-Corporation Commissioner A. w Cole who for the past week has been in Dallas, Texas, attending the annual sessions of the sovereign camp of the Woodmen of the World. IS eX- pected to return in time for ousihess next Monday Commissioner F. A. Jones is also away being before the interstate commerce commission Tn Washington This leaves Chairman Gearv the lone commissioner on the job and just naturally loads him up with work.
 HIGH SCHOOL PARENT-TEACH- ER'S-The first meeting of the hleh
 school parent teachers association was 1 held at the school yesterday afternoon Addresses by Mrs. Norton, Mrs. AikTe' and Prof Stabler were delivered De- 1 fore a large number of those whose m terest in the movement prompted them to be present at the preliminary meet ing A committee on nominations was
 appointed, and at the next meeting
 which will take place on the twenty
 seventh of this month, officers will be
 elected and the organization of the as
 sociation will be perfected.
 FRESHMAN SPiRiT-The Fresh man class at the high school is show
 ing fine spirit this year. For seVera : years past the newcomers nave no
 had enough nerve to organize but tn } class of '16 is an exception. At a meet ing yesterday the following officer were elected Walter McLemore, presl ! dent; Elizabeth Raley, vice president ! Tom Marian, secretary and treasure $l freshman tennis club was also or ! ganized and Mabel Crozier was chose ! president Elenor Sheldon will mar { age the girls team and Roswell VII pa ! the boys bills.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14
STORED WATER SUPPLY

Water service department daily re- port, March 13.
 Elevation of water in reservoir
 foat 157.9S Contents of reservoir acre feet. 496,59o Gain preceding A hours, acre
 foe, 5,703 Elevation of water in reservoir
 one year ago today, feet l3o4o Contents of reservoir one year
 ago today, acre feet 4oz, 4o' Normal flow Salt and Verde
 rivers at Granite Reef dam,
 M .225, ,34I Amount of water used for irri- ga,,on north side NJ. I.. 26,32. Amount of water used for irrl-
 cation south side. NJ I... 23,5S
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

Friday afternoon the Presbyterian ladies will hold an Easter sale of ap- rons, cooked food and candy in the church rs-Advertisement. bk
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

q Arizona Lodge No. F. x A. ~ M work in second degree, E3o ~ M. this (Friday) evening" A1xortiCampnt u
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

The guaranteed Soap; sells at 2Oc a cake, or 5Oc for box of 3 big cakes. Use one cake and if you don't like it, just return the other two and get your money back. The biggest selling high-grade soap in Arizona You can get it at the
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

Deficiency in temperature since first of month, 26 degrees Accumulated deficiency in tempera- ture since January l. 149 degrees Deficiency in rainfall yesterday, .o2 inch.
 Deficiency in rainfall since first of month, 20 inch. Accumulated exces in rainfall since January l, .25 inch
 KENNETH NEARER,
 Temporarily in charge.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14
Of Local Interest
THE WEATHER.

Local Daily Weather Report for The
 Arizona Republican.
Arizona republican., 1913-03-14

Data for 24 hours ending 500 p. m.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette., 1913-12-23
WANTED HUNDRED DOLLARS.
A Snsg Encountered Places CON-
munity Christmas Tree Committee
in Debt.

II was hoped to have the Commu-
nifty Chistmas Tree event FREE of
cost, that is ALMOST free, but a
great difficulty was encountered and
the committee must needs raise at
least $10C.
One hundred dollars is a small
ite m beside the five thousand Balti-
more is spending on her Community
Christmas Tree, but then Annapolis
is to have no paid singers, and her
tree is to be simple and only intended d
to inspire the real Christmas spirit
among all the people here. The debt
of s1O0 is due to a misunderstanding
1t was thought the electric light bulbs
and wire necessary to light the tree
had been loaned, but il was found to
the contrary, and the loan was Jenied.
determined to carry through the
project, the Mayor and committee
felt obliged to secure the lighting in
struments, and this was done at no
little cost. The Public Utilities Com
pany will give the current to light
the tree every night tor the week be-
ginning Christmas Eve, and ending
New Years Eve. This is a generous
contribution.
Those who are willing to contribute
to the necessary cost for the tree
please notify the Mayor or The Capt.
tai. The following has been con-
Evening capital and Maryland gazette., 1913-12-23
COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS TREE.
Will be Lighted Tomorrow Afternoon
Shortly After S 0'clock-Child-
ren's Service 6 To z.

There are no gifts for you children
dear children, at the Community
Christmas Tree, but you are asked to
help swell the chorus of Peace on
Earth, Good Will to Men.
Every child in Annapolis is asked
to come to the Community Christmas
Tree tomorrow evening at o'clock.
The tree is at Market Square and will
be lighCed tomorrow, Christmas Eve
night.
The ehildren's service will be from
6 to z, and the adults service from
$3.50 to 9 80 p. m. Both children and
adults have been rehearsing the
Christmas carols to sing around the
Community Christmas tree tomorrow
night.
At ten minutes Of 6 O'Clock the
church bells and fire bells will ring
for fifteen minutes to herald the
event of the Community Christmas
tree children's 5 services.
Evening capital and Maryland gazette., 1913-12-23
Navy ouint To Play Yale Tomorrow.

The Naval Academy basketball
team will play its second game Of tie
season on the srmory court tomorrow
afternoon. The opposing team will be
the strong five of Yale University.
Yale plays the quint of Loyola Col.
lege in Baltimore tonight.
Yale is rated as one Of the strong.
est teams of the intercollegiate Bss-
ketball League. The middies opened
their season two weeks ago BY win
ming from New York University after
8 hard fight