New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-08-29
AS | WAS SAYING

4 tight listed, penurious Jehersonian old party
is Mr. Bryan, but not with the public moneys
When it comes to fishing out the little coterie OF
Americans left kicking in Mexico he demands hun
dred thousand dollars-al that! What would Simple
Thomas say?
''Darned luxurious and plutocratic.' we surmise
though standards have risen it is true See how our
compatriot Brer johnson is travelling-fourteen
automobiles twenty nine lovely ladies count them
and "A baggage train eight miles long. Not since
Hannibal has a coored tourist got about In such
glory.
This alters the case, and possibly 1t was wise Of
Mr. Bryan to abandon his original plan. On, yes
there is a civic vehicle standing idle, these vacation
DAYS but we guess the refugees would have felt put
out II he had sent the long. numbering juvenile
omnibus made famous by the author Of The Little
Red Schoolhouse that Hung in the Well
But a hundred thousand dollars-monstrous!
Can't We wait? In another month or SO modest
ten-spot will Tx it,
More trouble! Now it is Brother Box who goes
lecturng-in THE outlook" one week in Collier )
the nex-to exc out the miserable pttance allotted
him by that niggardly Fashions Department
We consider this nothing short Of public scan
DIAL and trust that the sreat-hearted Texans will
come forward with hush money, AS In Mr.. Bryans
case though we have derived much sweetness and
light so far. from Brother Box. We enjoyed his
heart heart talk The Price OF n soul; or Is
the Gown Really Worth IT." And we applaud his
revolt against the Paris dressmakers our motto:
American buds for American danes.
Why should this wonderful country obtain It's
fashions from France? We arc a nation Of humor-
lists. II we put minds to 1t we can tickle the
very boulevards. Say the word. madam and we will
design YOU something quite exquisitely disgusting,
oursef
But We must avoid overpraising Brother Box
Much as we relish his gospel. We think him far too
silver-tongued and lily handed d lecturer. He hest
tates Ia bawl out the truth as he sees H. We kno"
perfectly well what the Paris dressrnaker said to
him. and We hate TO have Brother Box soften 1t and
tone 1t down and dilute II into mere remark about
making damn fools OF the American women"
There is another grand camp meeting Of Doctors
in America this time-and just when hay fever
reverberatcs most loudly But do we hear hurrahs
for the new treatment? Day after day we read the
reports. Not d hurrah though the method is so
simple, When pollen begins to fly remove the nasal
tissues. Keep them alive outside the organism. At
the close Of the season put them back.
Tamperlng with The Editors Drawer" We OBJ
tanned a charming view Of the beach with a child at
play in the sand Beneath the picture this dialogue
old-fashoned Individual: Well little man. build
ing "A castle?"
Fin de steele Infant: Nope. This is hotel,
there's no money in castles"
Fin de steele, Awful! What will the Gerry So
ciety do to Harpers for Keeping that infant under
lock and key down cellar till his fourteenth year?
They are coming homc-whoc shiploads OF them
and we shall be compelled to listen, though con-
scous that their motives are emnently hostile
when you were over" they say. did you visit the
Of lreu IN he al al
San Porco? Did you crawl down into the dark cell
where poor dear Canon Dover wrote his Common
taries on the Ninth Book OF Erysipeas? Did you
climb the tower OF st. Lucifers at Stranochinver-
snaidocher and look out across the ford and the
snow clad Gorgonzoas"
We know in a fash what these rascals arc up to.
They can hardly hold back the words. Hope TO
goodness you didn't" But We are prepared.
We forget the exact spot but somewhere on the
dowdiest edge Of London lies abominable suburb,
noted for tin cans and paper collars and military
prison Visit that suburb! Ever after you will be
n match for the home coming rhapsodist Let him
spout Then In tones Of lyric passion retort; But
did YOU go to NORWOOD scRUBs?'
No doubt it was funny OF a society editor to write.
"One Of the many engagements that are always an
nounced the close of the season is that OF Miss
Constance -" and no doubt It is human OF
year" but the step is ourself should not have
taken except in the case Of known repeater
The play Of Life" with Brother Martin left out
makes a jolly enough comedy nevertheless. though
how we do miss his editorials! A hilarious vacation
TO him. Then joyous return! Meanwhile we may
take advantage OF his absence and describe him As
an exceedingly lovely duck-always mirthful always
amabIe, always wise-to our mind the first citizen
OF the happy Commonwealth Of Laughter.
while there is sorrow I'm his going there also
cheer AS considerable conscientious, he must
have felt that he leaving in good hands, and
that we were not likely to catch r-get-overs
before he came back to us. Besides, he must have
felt that we were Of amusement, certainly
are Governor Blease has recognized Governor Sui
ger n. L. III.
ABOLISH THEM