davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
W 6)
,'!I|(e!q eqU
Mr.. Jar Greets New Year
Under Avalanche of Calendars

H ~ EE whizv' cried Mr.. Jarr.
More calendars?
"Well. / think It real nice
to be remembered for tho
New Year. even II It's Uncle Henry that
sends you one" replied Mrs. Jarr.
For Gertrude. the light running do
mestic. had brought the mail to the
head OF the house and the mail was
mostly calendars.
What did Uncle Henry send?" asked
Mr.. Jarr. This years or lasts? I
mean this years or nexts?
Its next years." said Mrs. Jarr.
looking it over.
well. last year he sent me last years.
Or. rather. mean this year he sent me
that years. On. 1 mean"
Mrs. Jarr regarded him askance.
so early in the morning with
twisted tongue? No wonder you stayed
In the smoking room with the men at
Clara Mudridge-Smith's party last
night!'
I'm all right" grdmbled Mr.. Jarr,
II was just trying to say that about
this time last year Uncle Henry sent me
a calendar OF the same year. an old
calendar that he had hanging In the
harness room of the barn for about
twelve months. till 1t smelt Of harness
soap and musty leather. And 1t was
nothing but an advertisement for Tenn
perance Bitters.''
'I suppose anything concerning tenn
perance would be bitter to you." re-
marked Mrs Jarr, who was one Of our
best little twitters. We'll, it was to
remind you not to wait till the new
year to swear off old habits"
What kind of a calendar does he send
me this year for next year," asked
Mr.. Jarr, defaulting In his reply to her
intimation.
The breakfast table was between them,
and Mr.. Jarr knew he was to see none
of the mail matter until II had been
examined and censored. Especially was
this the case In the matter Of house,
hold bills.
When current moneys are diverted
from the household expenses by the
lady of the house the husband is not
to know of II. And when he is in
formed by despairing tradesmen, he,
the husband, had better mention the
matter casually.
A wife does the best she can with
what little money she has to meet the
bills with, and now that the children
are getting bigger you'd be surprised
to know what 1t costs for their clothes,
because it's the poorest kind of econo-
my to buy cheap things for children.
BESIDES. she doesn't ask you what you
did with that four dollars you kept out
of your pay last week. so there!
Il pity the poor letter carriers" Mr..
Jarr went on. Its the last calendars
that break the mail mans back. And
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Despite the holiday season. inaugural
preparations are not being delayed. The
committee on fireworks last week re.
ceived a telegram Of good wishes from
q fireworks manufacturer of Seattle
and the weather committee acknowi-
edges with thanks the greetings Of an
umbrella manufacturer In Fort Smelling.
Mimi, and rain coat maker Of Neosho,
Ill Watch this space for further bull
letins.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

A man bought q newspaper at
Fifteenth street and the Ave-
nue. yesterday afternoon and put
up an awful howl because the
boy was slow In changing a
nickel Then he walked up to
Seventeenth street and annexed
himself to two-hour line walt
ing to touch hands with the
President. Which goes to show
anything you want Ii to.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

VIZ AO
dredth time the
U 8 U AL habits
that are made and
broken every day
Of the sS. While
1t may be a very
good thing to set .
time for the BE-
G I N N IN g Of
things, no one ever
knows the end.
Whether q reso-
luton 10 made for
the protection Of
.~s -.r( hu
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

CT CJGEN Fall-Down. n d
that 3 to Grab Remount.
If Conscience's Castigation has been
wholesome we DON'T Have to Wear
Hair Shirt -Afterward!
1t Takes some Of US Long Time to
Find out That we don't have to Abso-
luteIy Run Amuck in Order to BE Diff
ferentr'
The Kind of Determination thai
Gets Results generally is Inarticu-
late!
Experience may be the Best Teacher
but 1t can't Hobble the Head-Strongl
The vinously- y-Enthusiastic Man who
Talks about Living Every Minute"
really means ''Dissipating Every Hour.'
If Today looks Bad. Mentally Pro-
ject yourself into Today-Week.
When you Consider Yourself Rank
Outsider" you're Going to RUN Like
One,
The Fellow who Wins on Foul IL
No Kind Of Betting Proposition his
Next Time Quit
No Need for a Skeleton in ANY
Closet with the Old Bones Man Pass
ing by Every Day.
Perhaps IL such Calloused Strad-
dler that he can Make himself COM
Portable even on a Barbed-Wire Fence,
------
The Fellow who Forces the Feathers
to Take a Nine-Hour Joke and then
Wakes up whistling can't be "Faded.
by the Future.
Some OF US Never Start the Needful
Mental Fumigation until We Take q
Sort Of Dislike to Ourselves,
II you can't say mo" to the Other
Fellow. Learn to say Whoa" to Your
self!
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
YOU SHOULDN'T TRY TO WORE
THEM WITH PENNIES.

G. s. K: Regardless Of whether or
mot your correspondent Of the other day
actually found perfect hat holder be-
meath his theater chair-which may
have happened. but not in Washington
has he ever been able to elicit a re-
Spouse from the slot machines c"High
Class Assorted Connections: Insert Dime
Here') on the backs Of the seats?
CRITIC.
Heigh-ho! but fame Is fieeting! Crit
les" communication was addressed to
&c. K. s."
As we go to press the mailing Of a
strip of wood onto the Government
kiosk in front of the Munsey Building
is being closely watched by eleven per-
scns, 100 per cent Of whom, We venture
70 say, wear overshoes in season and
eat butter on pie.
Eavesdropped on a Milwaukee-we get
'em from all over, don't we?-street
car: "Tirt street change Mort and
Sout.'
The telephone book goes to press to-
day, and the new Congressional direc-
tory will be out In about week.
Order your copies early.
The gowns worn by the ladies Of the
diplomatic circle. we see by the papers.
were the last word.
So Is this.
G. s. K
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
G. s. K.

LONDON. Jan. Steps were taken
,oday to see what could be done to
saye 81. Panls Cathedral. Sit Francis
his investigation shows that the walls
OF the ancient edifice are cracked. and
that parts Of the building are sinking.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
in GOTHAM

II Wznt Bvoadpay ~ 7cAksAx Hbont
-. =
| NeW forks jan =
1HE New lear y mere an r1snL put
vent Be many hours before u
j WIN BE fuii Of it, ola tricks.
Sulzer Suffrapeffes Parade
,r..... ...,-.- - -. -. ,rI-,-,
cn. y s"d. 1870 -. s'.s p,,.ss,s,s,s. r....
80 .se s's ..Ssss.s. -. .s,...s I'm -
Hms E,'ss between 6s o"n ana cap''0'
sss
End ~ fhe Year Snr;no
ousns . to ss ou: spsdins up the garden
go = -
NJ. p..ots.s;n...
sesion
Fof osd LADIES' In the new fear'
don't know TOO little.
For young ladies: Don't know 100
much; and u yos 90. pe sure not 70
iet on.
money LImitauonS-
Money" says A. Brisbane, who gets
about q twenty-dcIlar gold piece q
word for The pieces he writes in Mr.
Hearst's paper, .scan do what Il
pleasesL" No sir-ee. It can't DO. in
some cases. . miflionth part Of 1 pr
cent Of what It pleases Subtract the
Standard on money from the visible
and invisible suppy. and there's hardly
any such thing left In the world as
money. Yet Uncle John D. can't raise
single spear Of hair on his billiard
ball top.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Have Senators a parcel post frank!
Because Mr.. Bailey is going to make ap-
proximately some speech.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

ND now Father Time has chroni-
- cled another circle and January
! has come and gone.
Men '.swore or (and swore
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
RUPERT HUGHES DIDN'T
WRITE IT.

G. s. K: I just read a shopgirl story
in which the hero did not address the
heroine as 'kiddo." MAY.
Saranac Lake n Y Dec Il
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Now that we have q parcel post.
watch the cost Of living go down. Is
your eyesight good?
Not that the comedy OF singing
quartet is the only pathetic thing in
the world. We have in mind, at pres
ent, man reading a speech.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Add McCombs Club: William Rookie.
teller and the deputies.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Why Theatrical Managers Needn't
Learn To Play the Harp.
.'vaudevilIe's most pretentious Offer
ing"
Family circle.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

And yet you never can tell. Fully Al
many wished Mr.. Taft Happy New
Year on January /. 1912, and you know
what happened.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
THIS&.THAT
THE RETURN.
Welcome, Congress, on the hill
Back to labor with Q Will;
Though ysur efforts total NIL,
We declare you welcome still.
THE RETURN.
nan Sometimes a Liftlt offAe otAe,

We acknowledge receipt OF the Nortn
East SUM- North East, Pa, forward
ed by a generous contributor. The
Sun" is chiefly remarkable for ,tts
bright little column, Sunshine" which,
as is evidenced by the name, chronicles
weekly the breezy, CHEEKY bits Of news
from all over the country. and is a
great little gloom dispeiler. take 1t all
around. So II you're feeling down.
hearted today, run an eye over these
sprightly extracts from Sunshine" and
perk up:
Roy vesper, aged fourteen years, Is
confined in the Erie county Jail as
witness against his brother, Henry
vesper, who is a prisoner in the same
prison on a charge of numbering De-
tective Sergt. John T. Grant.
Forty-five new cases Of diphtheria
were reported in Erie last week. making
a total Of ffty-fve such cases now ex-
isting In that city. according to records
at the health office.
ShuQkS are skuIlh5 tilis y coA. a SAe"
ford county man dug IS worth Of the
odorirerous animals out Of one hole.
A poll of Government clerks In the
Pension building. taken early today. in
dicates sentiment favoring the use Of
that structure for the inaugural ball.
SURE, AND THEY SERVED HARD
TACT, TOO.
g. 8. K: Did the apples served at the
diplomatic breakfast contain diplo-
platic corps? D. /. B.
The President shook hands with 7062
people, and only one thing kept US from
making 1t 7,053 We were the one thing.
And yet you never can tell. Fully as
many wished Mr.. Taft Happy New
Year on January /, 1912, and you know
what happened.
Mr.. Graham Moffat's THE Concealed
Bed" is old stun. We've stubbed toe
against It every night for years.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Mr. Graham Moffat's "The Concealed
Bed" is old stun. We've stubbed a toe
against it every night for years.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
SURE, AND THEY SERVED HARD
TACT, TOO.

g. 8. K: Did the apples served at the
diplomatic breakfast contain a diplo-
matte corps? D. /. B.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

The President shook hands with 7.051
people, and only one thing kept US from
making 1t 7,06a We were the one thing.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Do your Christ
m q 9 {" Copping =
Early!
Tho Chap who
Chirp Q d q ut
Moving n o y n
tains" Meant the
Kind Of Mountains
that are Male out
Of MolehillSs
There's only one
Way to Fix a
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
CHEER UP
By Z. cslzs.

SIX the man with corns n
'.They-Can't-come-Baek.''
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
Order your copies early.

The gowns worn by the ladies Of the
diplomatic circle. we see by the papers.
were the last word.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

A poll of Government clerks IN the
Pension building. taken early today. In
dicates sentiment favoring the use Of
that structure for the inaugural ball.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

The telephone book goes to press to
day. and the new Congressional direc
tory will be out In about a week.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
Money Limitations.


rOOo EOI Eat mCu.
Uncle Eben says: A fat man may
be all right 20 long A. the fat don't
90 TO his head"
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

The Kind of Determination thai
Gets Results generally is Inarticu-
late!
The Washington times., 1913-01-02
Would Save ST. Paul's.

So is this.
The Washington times., 1913-01-02

Heigh-ho! but fame Is fieeting! Crit
les" communication was addressed to
go X g."
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Inlow's Written Statement.

The statement made by Inflow to Chic
,f Police B. L. Grant In the city 5ai
,nlows trial yesterday, after 1t had bee
.orn 10 hundreds Of tiny pieces, whic
we're patched together by an expert,
given herewith.
At about II I saw this auto go
down Main street from Utah hotel
saw II was not White, and paid no
We walked up past Utah hotel and
around block and back again down
Main STREET
At about 1880 went to room TO
enough to remain.
I, was 10 rcjoln her at Van Dykes,
and after remaining fifteen or TWEEN
~ minutes L came out, meeting n.
Thompson at lst S. and Main. He
took car there (not sure OF the hour,
but ] went on down 10 Van Dykes
TO meet Jennie. She, after waiting
n while at Van Dykes, concluded
she had misunderstood the arrange
to SChneder's with the grips. so.
hardly knowing whether or not, she
would hasten down, too. Got n taxi
cao and rode 10 Schnelder's, getting
OFF at 9Th So. because the driver said
he was going 10 the depot.
She left taxi there and went in the
court, but. seeing no light knew I
had not gone down. so she hurried
back on the car TO End So. and Main.
Going right over To- the room at
about i2 o'clock even or 1910 (not
later, she encountered the la ndlady,
who had forgotten her and was not
going 10 let her in. but. stating that
she and her husband had a room
there and grips, she went on up and
laid on tho bed for a few minutes
Till / came up.
!. upon going TO Van Dykes and
found her not there. went back TO
md So and State slowly and looking
for her | stood at and around the
corner for ONLY a short time, then
went up 10 room TO find her there
scared Of the noise OF the place. and
said ! had 10 get her out of there. so
We said 70 Schneiders' We got grips
and walked 10 Schn elders waiting
along for car stopping at Srd South
and w. Temple n few minutes. While
there We noticed two young couples
standing there chatting We went
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
FRANCE OPPOSES
TARIFF MEASURE

PARIS, May 1.-THE Underwood
tariff bill, as far as it relates to
French industry, was energetically
condemned today at the monthly meet
ing Of tho National Association Of In"
dustry and Commerce. Tho chair was
taken by Andre Lebou, former min
lister OF commerce, and among the dis.
tinguished company were Gabriel
Hanotaux, former foreign minister, and
Paul Delombre, former minister COM
missioner commerce.
Deputy Georges Gerald, In reviewing
the tariff bill, expressed his objection
to it's administrative clauses, which, in
stead Of relieving the great hindrances
which ho declared exist in trading in
the United States, increased them ar
bitrarily. "When Mr.. Underwood and
his friends say they are only applica-
BILE to professional defrauders, said
NJ Gerald, "this affirmation is not
sufficient for French exporters, who
already know too much about the ad.
ministration of the American tariff
Deputy Gerald continued;
"The world has seen how the United
States by its Panama canal act has
violated the -Pauucefote treaty
and the state of California has vio
lated tho United States treaty with
Japan. The projected tariff, which
seems intended to suosldlze American
shipping, violate twenty treaties
those made by the United States with
Great Britain, Italy, Austria a-Hungary,
Denmark, Belgium, etc.-yet | still
hope that France and the United States
will be able to arrange practicable
agreement
NJ. Lebon commended the Hjudicious
comments" Of Deputy Gerald and re-
gretted that the United States, al
though processing the desire to live
on good terms with all tho world, does
not give any practical proofs Of this
to France -
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
rridgen. Ftr,, Infantry. and Second Lieutenant C.

Pridgen. Ftrst Infantry. and Second Lieutenant e..
r y. DALEY. Twentieth infantry.
Najor II. T Darnum, cavalry, is ass'Gncd 10
the Ninth cavalry and viii Join thnJ regiment.
Frst Lieutenant william r.. Mould. T. s. A.. re-
tirod, IL relieved from duty NJ the Missouri Mill
tary academy at Mexico. Mo
First Lieutenant Joseph Stll~en Twelfth In
fantry viii proceed 10 Fort Nisgara. y. Y. for
duty
The following officers win proceed 20 Fort
Ethan AioR. Vt, for duty In connection with
nrmy cavalry team: Captain James Huston.
Tenth cavalry: First Lieutenant II. 5, Dllworth.
Robert Blaine. Emmett Adds Te~h cavalry: j.
A. Pearson Eleventh caynlry; James }, Oliara.
Il W Holdcrness V, r. Bell. cavalry. Il. f
Tate Fifteenth cavalry; J! A. Dcucn. Twelfth
cavalry. Second Lieutenant Duncan C. Richart
Tenth cavalry. Second Lieutenant Stewart o. El
ling. Eleventh cavalry. und Captain willard H.
Mccormack. Tenth cavalry.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Tore Up Statement.

Chief Grant handed Inflow the state
ment and Inflow. with the remark that
he had made a mistake when ne gave
the statement, tore II up and threw the
fragments into the ouspidor
Nearly all the pieces were f1shed out OF
the cuspidor and were retained by the
chief as evidence
State Chemist Herman Harms was re-
called to take up the thread OF his testi-
mony where 1t had been broken Friday
afternoon.
Owing to the fact that one OF the
members of the jury was required to
attend the meeting of a board of direc-
tors in a company in which he is inter-
ested financially, the session was con-
cluded shortly before o'clock. The juror
was given permission TO attend the meet
ing accompanied by bailiff, who was
ordered to keep with the juror every mo-
ment of the time no was absent from the
courtroom.
The other Jurors were placed In the
custody OF their hailiffs
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Situation in Arizona.

WASHINGTON, May 17.-AHzoua's
now alien land law Is not regarded here
as seriously conpllcating the negotiations
contain the same direct bar against Jap
anese as the California act. 1t Is ex
pccted. however. that because OF Its ad
verse effect upon Mexican land owners In
Arizona q protest Will be forthcoming
from the Mexican government. even In
view Of the rather irregular status Of the
and Mexico.
With both the American and japanese
governments waiting on the final action
of Governor Johnson, the possibility OF
postponng the operation Of the proposed
California law by invoking the referen-
dunn Is again being discussed In official
circles.
The overwhelming majority for the
Webb bill in both branches OF the Cali
fornia legislatu makes some CaIifor-
mans in Washington doubtful II the nee
essary 10000 signatures for a referendum
could be secured.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
PRESBYTERIANS
IN BUSY SESSION

ATLANTA. Ga, May l7.-After
three DAYS Of business sessions, at
which progress is believed 10 have been
made toward eventual cousummation of
an organic union between at least two
of the three PRESBYTERIAN organizations
holding general assemblies here, busi-
ness sessions Of those bodies were tenn
porarIy discontinued today. Each will
resume active business sessions on Mon
day morning.
Interest in the assemblies OF the
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18

The district attorney said that he be-
neved that the case will be concluded.
so far as the states witnesses are con-
cerned, Monday afternoon.
The state Will endeavor to present In
legal form to the jury the facts relating
TO Inlow's attempted break from the
county jail. 1t was noticeable yesterday
that though Inlow's little niece. Ina
Genevieve, Clayton, played In the cor
ridor of the courthouse. she did not sit
with Inflow. as was her custom before
the prisoners desperate attempt to es-
cape from his keepers
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Army Orders.

WASHINGTON, May l7.-Tho following otteora
are detailed 10 enter the noxt class nt the
army signal school ot Fort LcsYcnworth. Kan;
First Lieutenant David II. Bower, Tweuty-Soc-
ond Infantry: George X. Byrd, Seventeenth In
tantry: Rupert A. Oun'ord Twcnty-Bixth lnfnu-
try; l. r. FTedcuall, Second infantry, Daniel ID.
Gregory. Filth cavalry: Clarence Liningcr. First
cavalry; Joseph A. McAndrew. Second infantry.
Fl. o. Olson, Twcnty-cghth infantry Walter e
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18

by the train so far, it was ascertained
tonight that the officers had instruc-
tions TO do no talking as to the pur-
pose of the trip. Two companies of
Atlantic coast artillery, No. l43 and
144, left Jersey City this morning
over the Pennsylvania railroad.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE SUNDAY MORNING. MAY 49, 1913.

I defy anyone to show anything In my
record as an officer for twenty-five
wears that would prove L didn't always
do the square thing. But ] will have
the truth in this matter, because il
concerns mo directly, and we propose
TO put the truth before the court
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Honors for Daniels.

WASHINGTON May 7.-sooretary panicls lsft
tonight for Washington. y. O.. his birthplace.
whore on Monday tho eitizons win tender him
reception Ia honor OF his .ifty-flrst birthday
piverBary. Tho treasury department today ordered
tho cutter Pamlicoto TO Easlst IN the celebration.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Students VIII Contest.
Special 10 Tho Trihuno.

BRIGHAM CITY, May IA storytelling and
publio-speGhng contest will be hold tomorrow
afternoon In tho Third md Fourth ward chspoIs
at which excellent programme o, 1torios and
public Upccches will DO given by boys and girls
OF tho Mutual improvement nssociationn The
atake IN divided into two districts TO compete for
stake championship in tho stake tryouts 10 be
held In thu nenr future.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Under Secret Orders.

BY International News Service.
PITTSBURG, May 17-Under secret
orders from Washington, four compa-
nies of coast artillerymen are being
rushed from the Atlantic seaboard to
Honolulu by way Of San Francisco.
Two companies passed through Pitts
burg at 6:15 o'clock tonight on a spe-
cial train. The men were cheering and
waving their hats as they passed
through.
From sources along the line travelled
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1913-05-18
Paint Mail Boxes Green.

WASHINGTON, May T.-Rod longer "a the
official color designated by the postoff!oe depart
ment for street letter boxes. An ordor that the
ooIeB DO painted ver1niion or coach rod
Rbrogntod today because tho protests from many
cities that mail boxes frequently wore confused
with flro alarm street garbage boxea. Dark
Greon probably will DO adopted