The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-19

| The Christmas holidays and New
Years eve are times when all of US
! plan to have some kind of a good time.
| What the good time is. depends, of
course, on what kind of a thing each
one enjoys. but We will all agree that
there must be something social in
it. To have a good time all by yourself
on Christmas or New Year? That is un-
| thinkable.
Well. it's over AGAIN. Social life has
settled down to its natural pace. The
whirl was fast and furious for while,
but now we breathe a contented sigh
and get down to the regular propor-
ton of work and play Poorer in pock
ct perhaps, but richer in love of life.
The pockets can be refilled and the joy
is ours to keep.
1t Is most interesting during such
season to observe peoples varying abil
ity or inability to have a good time.
And the first observation is this: That
the people who give and get the great
est pleasure in their social relations
are not always the people who have
the best minds and the finest person.
alities; ii even seems to be generally
true that the ones who have the broad
,
the least aptness in revealing them
selves for the pleasure and benefit OF
their associates
a clever Birming ham woman is occa-
sionally puzzled at her husbands easy
going way of hiding his light under
a bushel" His close friends know how
fine he is, but his wife wants him to
be more widely appreciated, and some
times she says exasperated: John,
when are you going to tell people all
thatayou know?'
Being loved and admired by ones
friends is an entirely different thing
from being socially attractive. Which
would we choose? The former. prefer
ably; both If possible-many people are
both. The latter is the more easily
acquired. and it is about that class
of really fine people who are not Civ
ing and getting in social way all of
which their natures are capable that We
are concerning ourselves now.
Is ii a gift to be able to amuse and
entertain other people easily2 To know
how to lavish ones personality to ad-
vantage? To be able to make friends
quickly and to be Immediately attractive
and interesting to strangers?
Why can some people inspire more in
terest and admiration than others equally
gifted, and how can the ones who are not
appreciated make themselves SO?
who do not get their just due of pleas
ure out of their social advantages are
probably the ones who will be most inter-
ested in the discussion of this problem.
What is the reason, when such girl has
notceably little attention to large So
cial gatherings and appears at a dis
advantage where lighter minded girls are
being toasted and admired?
Let us analyze the character of one OF
these unappreciated girls, with the pur-
pose of discovering what quality she
lacks; and in this way we may arrive at
some valuable general truth.
Among her close friends, Margaret is
loved and admired. We know that she is
a dear, sweet, sensible girl-a comfort
and pleasure to her parents Her friends
of long standing regard her with affec-
ton and confidence.
People quickly approve of her, but they
do not stay to adore her: she does not
hold them. She possesses the gentle reas-
ona bleness which commands respect.
but lacks the active, magnetic force which
compels attention. Time or circum-
stances will eventually prove her worth,
but she lacks the power. or is 1t the In
olination, to prove herself.
Margaret has a certain kind of self
confidence. She knows that she Will
wear well. She knows that she is
good Judge of people and things,
perior in any test CT 1ife's deeper prob
lens; but she also knows that she is
not a good play partner" Her mind
is matured or she lacks that spontan-
iety which is characteristic of youth
and she finds more congenal compan-
ionship among people older than her
self. Her mature standards of judg-
ment cause her to reject the spontan-
eous foolshness that youth delights In
The mothe> of such daughter of
course feels safe" concerning her, She
does not feel the fear that her daugn-
ter will make any foolish mistakes
either in friendships or matrimony; and
this is the compensation. For the moth
ers whose daughters are having "all
the fun" are having their anxious mo-
ments, wondering will she think in
time? VIII she think enough? VIII she
think the right thing?'
But do you believe. mother of Mar
garet that your daughter with all of
her sense is superior TO the little
girl in red who laughs and chatters
and sends her circle of interested ad-
mirers into amused chuckles a her en-
thusiastc prattle about-er-herself-
Well, that remains to be seen. You
see, the gay little girls problem Is
problem of the future. VIII she think
when her thinking time comes? VIII
she lay aside her responsibility with
her wedding gown and meet llfe's re-
sponsibiities squarely? VIII she meet
the future situation successfully as she
is meeting the present one? Your little
girls problem Is problem of the pres
ent. She is sure to be success ulti-
mately as a woman. Her future Is safe
enough. But is she going to fail to
meet the demands of her present age?
Is she going to forego any of the
pleasures of youth and any of the ad-
miration that ought to be hers?
A mother once overheard this conversa-
| ton concerning her own daughter. One
boys voice said You take Maud to
| the dance" Il can't" said the other.
SHE'S too sensible. She can't talk fool
| ishpess like the other girls. | want her
| there. but | can't take her.
| Now, everybody knows. ought to
| know, that sense can not lead the dance
| at party. Sense" makes an admirable
| chaperone; she is admirable in any official
capacity, but during play hours she must
| yield the floor TO the more youthful spr-
| it's spontaniety and enthusiasm.
| And this is Margaret's trouble. Her
| thcughtfulness is drawback because it
checks the natural expression of her tenn
| pc, ament. She thinks she may seem triv-