davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
At Cross-Purposes

Have you seen him?" exclaimed the
squire.
Il have" replied Kate, ''and though you
prepared me for something extraordinary
the reality exceeds the expectation. OF
all the bashful--"
''Bashful OF all the impudent, inso-
lent
And so they argued. the girl declaring
that NARROW exceeded the bounds of rea-
son in bashfulness, and the squire that
he exceeded these same bounds in as
suranee and impudence.
Both were perplexed and Kate deter
mined she would solve this mystery. Kate
met Constance and Tony and told her
of Tony's joke. Miss Hardcastle thought
she saw how matters lay.
She strolled down the corridor toward
the door of the parlor where NARROW
was sitting in sullen solitude. He came
out of the room
Did you CALL sir?'' she said.
mo, / did not call. who are you? the
barmaid?"
\ 20, sir" said Kate dropping cour-
tesy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09

as l live, the most intimate friend of
my admirer, Hastings. They are never
asunder. NARROW is a very singular
character. / assure you.
Among women of reputation and vir-
tue he is the most modest man alive.
But his acquaintance say that among
barmaids and such people as Lady Kill
blazes he is very different sort of a
man-you understand me?
But there goes my aunt's bell and I
must take the usual walk with her
around the Improvements and listen to
her praises of the fascinating Tony. I
could almost love Tony for the way he
hates me-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Rank Forgotten

Then she put herself In the way of
Charles. He announced to her his in
tention of Immediately departing and
asked: What are you really? AS this,
it seems. is not a hotel you cannot be
barmaid.'
II am a poor relation of the family
replied Kate, "as well born as that Miss
Hardcastle whom you came hero to WOO.
My position is humble, far too humble
for me to allow with honor of attentions
from man of the standing of the son of
Sir Charles NARROW"
Charles ts<Ked on. becoming more and
more infatuated with Kate.
At length he declared that he had
never in his life seen any one who so
took his whole heart and that he would
throw disparity of wealth and rank to
the winds IL he might call her his wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Explanations

Their mutual astonishment at the
meeting was great but joyful.
"Why, what are you doing here alone
al an inn?" asked Hastings.
An inn?" exclaimed Constance,
why, this is my aunt's house."
And then explanations ensued. Tonys
little joke was fully understood.
But 1t was agreed that NARROW should
not at present be informed of the mis-
take. Hastings declared that IL his
friend should find out the true situation
he would revert to that excessive BASH
fulness which afflicted him afways
when he associated with strangers who
were his equals and fly the place at
once.
And that 1nust not be, for Hastings
and Constance had several little mat
ters to arrange first.
Hastings had come down into the
country with the determination of car
rying off his Constance and marrying
her out of hand-an elopement
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Two Sides of the Screen

Come to me in the long parlor after
half an hour" said Kate. when you
have had time TO think this matter over
calmly, and then IL you are still of the
same opinion-well be there, anyway;
delay your departure that long,"
At the appointed time Sir Charles and
the squire were behind the screen and
Miss Hardcastle and young Charles, in
front of it.
by all that's good.' said Charles, II
can have no more happiness but what It
is your power to grant me-"
Seriously. Mr.. Marrow" replied Kate.
do you think that l could ever make
a marriage in which l might appear
mercenary and you imprudent. Do you
think / could carry a man who ap-
preached me with the confidence OF a
secure admirer?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Liberty fan

Just as they stood thus, locking about
and commenting upon the antique ol :
gancies of the old hall, the squire en-
tie ed with a hearty Right welcome.
gentlemen. right welcome-which is Mar
low? Sor, you are heartily welcome
HE has got our names from the serv-
ants at the gate said NARROW in an
aside TO Hastings.
The two men nodded to the supposed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
TOnV'S Maneuyer

In the meantime. what of Hastings
and his love affairs? Well. he was at
the bottom of the garden at the time
Tony had appointed and there found
his beloved Constance.
The trick Tony had driven in a circle
rntil, after sufficient time had elapsed.
lie had ditehed the travelling carriage
in the horse pond just beyond the gar
den walls, had rescued his mother and
fiiss Neville from the ruins and handed
ever Constance to the waiting Hast
ings.
Mrs. Hardcastle was too scared to know
exactly what was taking place and
screamed with all her might.
Her cries brought out the squire, who
took her to the hall, where she looked
around her In great surprise.
Then she comprehended that this. was
another practical joke of her brilliant
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Tony Promises

Soundly did he berate Tony for his
stupidity, but Tony insisted that If
the lovers would trust to him all would
yet be we'll.
Mrs. Hardcastle. with the executive
ability Of a born manager, whisked
Constance into the travelling carriage.
saw Tony mounted as postillion and.
without q word of adieu to the other
inmates of the Hall. set out upon her
journey to Lady Pedigree's.
As he left. Tony said to Hastings
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
That Remained to Be Seen

And very handsome.
"My dear papa, say no more: he is
mine." And she kissed her doting pa
rent.
ITO crown all" added the squire. 'he
is said to be one of the most hashful fell
lows on EARTH
"Eh"" cried Kate, Il am not so sure
then"
But, Kate. it is a possibility that he
will not have you"
You leave that TO me- replied Kate
who had something of her mother in
her after all III like him that is my
look OUT
And Kate said the squire. suddenly
observing the manner in which she was
dressed. why will you indulge in those
ridiculous fashions from town? You are
dressed outra geously-an imitation of a
townsirl. / nate furbelows."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Reconciled

AGtOHGlitQ
But soon entered Hastings and Miss
Neville. Tony had urged them to take
another carriage and fly.
But Miss Neville said she had had
enought of elopment for one night and
so, going with her lover TO the hall
she appeared before her aunt and re-
speetfully. but firmly, declared that she
vas about TO marry the man of her
choice, Mr.. Hastings. in the usual and
ordinary manner.
"Hurray," cried Tony.
The old lady relaxed sufficiently, 50
that it was a very merry supper after
all the mistakes of the night
Occasionally the good woman would
Stare at Tony and call him an ''unduti-
tul offspring
But the prospect of a season in Lon
don, where Hastings and Constance were
going to spend most of the year, and
where they gave her a cordial invitation
o be their guest, went long way in
soothing the wounded feelings of the good
lady.
Next weeks One Page Classic will be
The Wept of Wish-ton- WISH" by James
Tenimore Cooper
Copyright 1913, by Irving King)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09

landlord and began talking to each other
about changing their travelling dress.
Mr.. Hardcastle, somewhat taken back,
kept interrupting the conversation be-
tween them by saying such things as
This is Liberty hall, gentlemen, the
house is yours" to no avail
Finally he bethought himself of his story
concerning the Duke of Marlborough
that certainly must arrest the attention
of these two strangely acting young men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Two Sorts Of Renutation

But my dear papa, you know our
agreement-1 was to dress as I pleased
during the day If. at nightfall. l put on
the plain, countryfied attire which You
like best--it was a bargain
'1t was bargain" replied the squire.
''and you must keep your part of it or
no more finery from town.
Kate flew to her friend and cousin.
nee Neville. to tell her the great
news.
.-,narles Marlow." cried Constance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
She Stoops to Conquer

Meet me two hours hence at the bot
tom of the garden and see If you don't
find Tony Lumpkin all right after ALL"
The travelling chaise in which Hast
ings had been intending to elope was
sent back to the stables and he rue
fully wandered about the great house.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
An Anatomical Fest

From the Weekly Telegraph
Doctor (to small boy. agQ4 r-"Put
your tongue out, please."# II
The Juvenile protruded ting tip Of his
tongue.
mo, no. put it right ouE'
Il can't DOCTOR was the distressed
reply, IT'S fastened on tb me-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09

fire he pulled off his boots and proceeded
to make himself comfortable.
As the squire in a rage came down the
corridor he met Kate, who had changed
into the simple country dress which her
father made her wear evenings.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09

some as another falling of the lady Of
the hall.
But it was not. 1t was simply the
mother nature
She knew. as well as anybody, that
Tony was numskull-a hopeless clown
and therefore, like all good mothers,
bepraised him and bedeared him and set
her heart upon him as all good mothers
do upon their lame ducks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
Only a Childish Affair

Miss Neville. before tho death of her
father had consigned her to the guar
dianship OF her aunt. had spent her
winters in London, and had there met
and fallen in love with Mr. Hastings.
a most exemplary young man of moder-
ate fortune.
He had fallen in love with her like
wise, and Miss Neville's father had APP
proved of the matter.
But upon Mr. Neville's sudden death
and the arrival of his daughter at
Hardcastle hail. what had gone before
in the way of affection between Con,
stance and another was entirely ignored
by Mrs. Hardcastle, who promptly COM
manded her ward to marry Tony "as
soon as ne should be of age.''
She may have heard that there had
been some childish love affair-but it sig
nified nothing.
She would not even inquire the name of
the gallant
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
BY
OLIVER GOLDSMITH

son. hit him sounding whack over the
ear. and, for a time, remained indig-
nantly majestic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-09
An Old Fashioned Squire

K 1R. HARDcAsTLE, country
MI squire of the old fashioned sort
lF1 lived in his old fashioned house
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14

ness was disturbing the peace and
mixing In affairs which were none of
their business. made Nero emperor,
thrusttng aside Claudius's son, Britain
nicus. Nero. as has been said before,
was an apt pupil, and Seneca was not
the only person from whom he learn
ed. He had seen how Agrippina slip
ped her husbands off after she was
through with them and how easy 1t
was to hush up the grand jury after
ward.
This cyanide game" said he to
himself. lis one l can play Just as
we'll as mamma; better perhaps" and
he winked at himself in the glass. for
he was Unfortunately vain.
Then he sent around a packa1 e of
poisoned chocolates to young Britain
nicus. who ought to have been en-
peror. and would have been II the
Praetorian guards hadn't horned in.
Brittanfcus died. The O said II
was heart failure. or infantile paraly-
sig. he wasn't ure which. Shortly
thereafter this coroner resigned and
set to work building a large steam
heated villa in the suburbs of Rome.
For a year or two Nero did pretty
vel as emperor. At least, people
thought SO when they compared that
tlme with what came afterward. Then
ne fell into the tolls of an affinity
whose name was Poppaea Sabina. She
was married to a man with whom
Nero used to come home from the
club. but that made no difference. The
emperor divorced his wife. Octayia.
u some trouble arising over the
question of alimony, he sen q Prae-
torian guard around to assassinate
e a Year or two later.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14
X X X X X X X \ X X X i
Nero Was a
Real Lady Killer
Roman Emperor Was Not Slow
in Having Death Sentence
Executed OH Women
Who Opposed Him.

(Kansas City Starr
OF all the tough old birds who ever
ruled Rome-and there we're some
mighty tough ones there at one time
Dr. another-the worst was the En-
peror Nero. He was an incendiary.
an actor. a poet and a l%ady-killcr,
causing his mother. two wives and a
girl who turned him down to be put
to death. He was also an undesirable
citizen and a malefactor of great
wealth.
When he first came into the world
his mother, who was no better than
she should have been if what the
neishbors said was true, christened. or
rather paganed him, L. Domitius
Ahenobarbus.
But Mrs. Ahenobarbus was a social
climber. and after her first husband
died-some said she put rough on
rats in his coffee. but there is no
proof Of that-she set her cap at her
uncle. Claudius.
Now. Uncle Claudius. as you prob
of the unholy Roman empire at that
time. and was old enough to have
Known better. He had q son old
enough to be in high school and had
been married three times to some OF
the swiftest members of the Roman
smart set. But he fell for Agrippina
and made her empress. Also, he took
her roWdy son., and instead Of send
ing him to the reform school or get
ting him a job in a packing house he
adopted him and changed his name to
Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus Ger
manicus. Nero was sent to school to
a wise old tutor named Seneca, who
regarded him as a most promising
pupil. The boy learned rapidly. new
er put tacks in Seneca's chair, and
made himself generally agreeable. He
even pretended to be interested in
philosophy. which won the old mans
heart completely.
Well, in the course Of time the en-
peror Claudius died. He went the
poison route. and Agrippina's was the
hand that slipped him the knockout
drops. She wanted to see her son on
the throne, and the Praetorian guards.
a gang Of militia whose principal bust
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14
SUFFER- AMI D

Governor Sulzer, of New York, is
giving indications that he wishes to
do the fair thing by the people Of his
state, regardless of Tammany. On
the subject of pardons the governor
says:
when applications are made to
me / will first Of all notify the Judge
and the district attorney. Then I Will
get oil the facts and lay them before
the newspaper men and. through
them, before the people. The people
have a right to know why pardons
are granted"
There 10 40 subject which should
be handled more carefully by a state
executive. when that power 10 reposed
in him. than that Of issuing pardons
to persons convicted Of crime. There
are those who would make ali zen
tsnces absolute. and make. no provis-
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14
VOCATIONAL

The attention Of the country is be-
ing directed just now very forcibly
to the subject Of vocational training.
and educational authorities every
where are making efforts to arrange
courses which will provide for the
needs Of those who need special in
struction in the manual arts. Wiscon.
sin has been making some expert
ments in this direction. and Of these
the Chicago Record Herald says:
The Record Herald has already
commended certain features Of Wis
consin's system Of vocational training
to the earnest attention Of those citi-
zens Of Illinois who are DESTROYS Of
reaching a prompt and satisfactory
solution Of the problem that has arts
en- out of the preparation Of three
sets Of more or less conflicting plans
for the establishment Of Industrial
education in this state.
Thus the Wisconsin system may
help Us to settle the vexed question
Of the control and administration Of
vocational schools. Again, It seems
to have successfully srappled with the
question OF finding the right type Of
teachers for its industrial schools.
That question is everywhere a serious
one. The professional or academic
teacher lacks practical knowledge and
does not know how to handle tools
or organize and conduct a class that
wishes. as fat as possible. to repro
duce the conditions or production In
a shop or factory. On the other hand,
skilled artisans may not have the first
notion of teaching, or imparting their
knowledge to boys utterly unfamiliar
With the ways Of industry. Is it easier
to make industrial instructors Of aca-
den,ic teachers or to develop the
teaching faculty in experienced arti-
sans?
Wisconsin 10 trying the latter
course and reporting excellent results.
1t has sought and found good teachers
for Its industrial schools in machine
shops. factories and other mechanical
establishments. These men know
how to do things. how to tackle prae.
teal problems and adapt means to
ends. and this skill the adj
miration Of the pupils. The teaching
may not be conventional. but 1t is ef-
fective because 1t delivers the goods"
We repeat. in this as in other features
wisconsin's promising system Of vo-
cational training may offer US valu-
able guidance"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14
THE PRICE OF ORANGES.

TIL entire country has felt an in
terest in the reports Of damage by
frost to the orange and lemon crops
of California. al the area from which
these crops m is very limited, and
the demand for them has been con
stantly increasing. Concerning the
prospects Of the effect Of the frost on
prices an eastern dealer says:
Even should the damage to the
orange crop fall short Of what is es.
timated. the prices Of oranges are
bound to go up to double what they
are at present. Already in California
prices have advanced. For many
years oranges have been priced in
California at as low as 10 cents a
dozen; today they cannot be had. I
venture. for 80 cents What, then.
may be the price in the east? The
bulk Of the supply from Cali
fornia.
Some understanding may be had
of the damage done by the California
freeze by giving the estimated mum.
her of oranges that are produced an
nually in California. The average has
been 10000. 900 boxes g year or .
$50. 900. 900 oranges. a. against A.
900, 900 boxes Of Florida oranges.
Two years ago the increase in pro-
duction of California oranges aver
aged a dozen or more to every man.
woman. and child in the United
States. If the damage to the crop
in California reaches the extent it is
feared. it will rlean that the supply
this year will fall short nor than two
dozen for each resident Of the United
States.
"According to the reports. Califor-
mia experienced the coolest weather it
has had in twenty years. It might
have been possible to save a large
part Of the crop that was ruined had
there been SUFFICIENT warning to the
growers. Ordinarily in the case OF a
frccza. srudge fires are built in the
sroNc". and generally this proves eff
~fcctivc. But the cold snap was of too
Ions duration, probably. to have made
possible the saving Of the crop"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14

ion whatever for the exercise Of the
pardoning power. To do this would
be to work serious injustice, and such
q program would be directly contrary
to the public interest. There are
cases in which. after the lapse of
proper time, sentenced criminals
ought to be given their liberty. The
indiscriminate or unwise 3 Of the
pardoning power. however. has led
to a demand for the making of all
criminal arrangements o rigid. II
the subject were treated in the open
in all cases., as suggested by the gov
ernor Of New York in his statement.
there would be fewer pardons granted
in cases where they should not be
granted.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14

Now Nero, in addition to his other
unlovely qualities, was very proud of
his achievements in a literary way.
He wrote poems and plays, and then
he acted the plays himself, while the
courtters sat around and told him
that A~ristophanes. Aeschlyus and
Eurtpides would have to be retired to
tho ten-twenty-thirty houses when
the managers got q squint at his man.
uscrtpts.
LAS for Shakespeare. they said,
you make him look like a ham"
1t seems queer that they should
have known about Shakespeare, con-
sidertng the fact that he wasn't born
till 1.500 years later, but they were
fa%r-seeing %courtiers. -.
And then old Nero. would slap on a
laurel! wreath and pfance out in the
tain speech just like De Wolf Hopper.
while Poppaea Sabina, in a bog right
next stage. tossed roses and muir
mured in a perfectly audible tone:
Really, his acting is superb-and
what a figure!!"
No. Poppaea Sabina did not like
Nero didn't like her much,
either, tor she was inclined to be
Dossy, n fancied that just because
she iad put him in line for the throne
~ GdSC WIFI SOm0 COns
sideration. So when Poppaea came
round one day and ruffled his hair
and tickied him under the chin and
asked him in her prettiest way to
please give her Agripipna's scalp hc
consented. He invited his mother to
come out and spend a Weekend with
MN at his country place outside Of
rome. and then, as the Praetorian
guard were busy shooting craps to de-
eide who should be the next emperor.
ne hired a gang of boy bandits to kill
the old lady with meat axes.
IN the year 81 Nero burned Rome
aou an Know how he sat on his own
front porch while the fire was going
om PLAYING the mandolin, reciting
verses OF his own manufacture and
urging the f1remen to pour rasoIine
on the flames. Several fellows asainst
whom he held grudges were presi-
uents or insurance companies. II
seems, n it looked for a while an II
they would be stripped of their last
sesterce. Chat is coin. NOT an I'm.
dergarment.) These ingenious men
however. got together and declared
Ina the lire was an act of Zeus. and
nero was so battered that he LET them
go. Q '"et'
Rome. however. was getting pretty
nurs. ana SO were the Praetorian
suasos. were rough, c~ase-hard-
sneu men, n 1t made them mad to
n aans.e !" preak up a poker game and
all evening. Then his domestic afYoIr.
were something of a scandal. even Yor
son1e Poppoea made him sore one
9 by telling him that his internre-
.a.ion OF Hamlet was a Joke, and he
murdered her. =" "'
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-01-14
IMPROVING UPON NATURE.

Washington Post: Congress now
has under serious consideration the
romantic scheme Of G.. l.. Riker, the
preparation to make icebergs in the
North Atlantic melt. If the truth
must be told. it is az good a plan for
the expenditure of the taxpayers
money as hundreds OF Others. The
idea is a thoroughly novel one being
nothing mor than that Uncle Sam
should construct a jetty along the
Grand Banks for 200 miles to the
east Of Cape Race. which by deposits
brought down from the Arctic, would
add 1000 square miles to the eastern
coast Of the continent. ana prevent
the Labrador current from interfering
with. and refrigerating, the gulf
stream. If the icy current from the
north could be switched far enough
eastward, where the water Is three
miles or more deep, says Mr.. Riker. it
would sink beneath the surface of the
gulf stream, which would flow north
ward with its warmth undiminished.
make England a summer resort, and
60 alter the climate Of Greenland
that all the Eskimos would abandon
the blubber business and become
orange and pineapple growers. Ice
bergs would be unable to Withstand
the competition, and Atlantic liners
would no longer have to cramp their
golf eourses by providing space for
lifeboats.
It 10 Mr.. Riker's opinion that the
gulf stream would make the Arctic
delightfully."- warm. and that the Lab.
rador current would cool off the
West Indies and the Caribbean.
It 10 no pleasant task to combat the
word Of science. Nevertheless. how
could this be? II the Caribbean were
cooled off by the uninterrupted Lab
rador current. wouldn't the gulf
stream be chilled at its source. and
finally 60 out Of business entirely
with heavy financial loss to the Baf-
fin Bay citrus industry? Moreover.
do We want to see the Panama canal
frozen solid from Colon to Panama,
with the trade of the world trans
ported across by dog sleds? Congress,
go slow!