davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
SERXIAN PRISONERS

From the London Chronicle.
Although Servia does not treat its GRIM
mails quite so leniently as Montenegro,
prisoners in the former country enjoy
a certain degree of liberty Some for
Instance, are employed road sweep
ers. and these are all allowed to smoke
and chat with passersby, provided they
do their work efficiently. When M. Yes
mitch, who now represents Servia in
Paris, made his first appearance at a
foreign office reception after his appoint
ment he was greeted as an old friend
by Prince Radolin the German ambassa-
dor
The acquaintance dated from 20 years
previously, when the prince was stationed
ar Belgrade In those days NJ. Vesnotch
was a journalist. and for an article at
tacking the government he received two
years, imprisonment. While serving his
sentence he used daily to sweep the street
where the German minister resided, and
the latter used often to hand over his
cigarette case and have chat with him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
MONKEY LANGUAGE

From the New York Telegram.
A new revised dictionary of monkey
language has just been issued through
the French academy of Sciences bv Yves
DE Lage, long a laborious student of ape
jabberings. The dictionary even con
tains grammatical notes for advanced
readers and an appendix giving in propsr
rotation favorite songs among monkeys.
which they always sing in the same
rhythm when feeling particularly we'll
The monkey tongue has the advantage
in that it comes unlearned to young mon
keys, which is proved. says De Lage, by
baby monkey taken away and isolated
seven years. and which, when brought
back to its companions made itself UNI
derstood perfectly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
SHE RETURNED THE RING
n the New York American.

From the New York American.
Gordon Bird, a California architect,
tried to introduce a new kink in the mar
riage ceremony recently! The ceremony
was never completed.
. Bird was a widower with experience and
sought to safeguard himself from wife
No. by adding to the clause love, honor
and obey" these momentous words, land
never nag"
The bride was at the altar, but when
she heard this restriction on her future
activities as a wife, she faced the situa-
tion bravely. returned ner engagement
ring and departed.
How is her action to be interpreted:
Did she consider the bridegroom's condi-
tion preposterous? And had she proposed
to make up her mind to nag wnen-
ever she felt like it?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Death Roll of the Old Year

Kings even died in the year just
ended. Mutsuhito, emperor of Japan,
easily leads the list, and Frederick of
Denmark is second. Alfred Won Kid
erlen-W Waechter, foreign minister of
the German empire, died just before
the close of the year. Jose Canalejas,
premier of Spain, was assassinated Of
home statesmen Senator Isador Ray
ner was loss widely felt. Among
military and naval men the deaths
of Gen. Frederick Dent Grant, son
Of Ulysses S. Grant, and oSRear Ad-
miral Robley d. Evans, were of note
in this country.
In the wider field of religious ac-
tivity and literature many losses oc-
CURED last year. First and foremost
comes the name of William Booth,
founder and general of the Salvation
Army, new church devoted to the
uplift of the downtrodden. DR.. Horace
H. Furness was known as Shakes
perjan scholar in all countries. Among
the dead should be mentioned Henry
Labouchere, the founder of London
Truth; Andrew Lang, the Scotch poet
and critic; 'Pere Hyacinthe." pulpit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Court Decisions in Idaho

The Boise, Idaho, Capital News pub
lished a message from Colonel Roose-
velt criticising the Idaho supreme
court for barring progressive candi-
dates for electors from the Idaho Of
ficial ballot. The supreme court has
sentenced the publisher, the managing
editor and stockholder of the Capt.
tal-News to fines of $500 each and to
Today sentences in the county Jail.
In other words, the court declares
that a. paper had no right to discuss,
except in favorable light, decision
relating to electors and the official
ballot. This is the limit of judicial
tyranny. This is the defiance of a
states highest court of the right of
free speech in the press. Idaho has
now a shackled press which must con-
suit the supreme court before it can
discuss an adjudged question. No de-
cision of that court can be questioned
in Idaho.
The Idaho decision will do more to
promote the movement for the recall
of judges than anything that has oc-
Cured in this country in long time.
When decision in public political
matter must stand uncritcised and
unquestioned, a crisis has certainly
been reached. Idaho is long ways
off, but what is law in Idaho may
become law nearer home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Stop the Dog Thieves

There is need for some sort of dog
owners protection association here In Bir-
mingham,' said the owner of a good bird
dog that was stolen but recovered
IF the dog owners would form scine
sort of a club for the purpose of recover
ing lost dogs, and to prosecuting those
who steal dogs, or conceal lost dogs for
the purpose OF securing a reward, there
would be less of 1t. Just at this time
when highwaying, burgfaries and purse
snatching is all too common, the steal
ing of dogs, and bird dogs in particular,
is making many owners of valuable ami
mails unhappy.
IF dog owners portective league were
formed, with a monthly assessment 10
employ detectives. and to prosecute
thieves, it would put a stop to so much
of this dog stealing. There are men who
will locate a good dog and then pay a
negro or small white boy s. or more to
steal the dog and bring it to some out of
the way place, to be run out of town at
an opportune time. There are many val
table Gogs of several breeds in Brming-
ham, and dog thieves of the ordinary
class are not discriminating as to the
kind they take when they start out to
make a steal You will notice that there
aer not many bull dogs stolen-there is a
reason not hard to name
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Reorganizing Affairs at Panama

Reorganizing Affairs at Panama
No one desires to detract from Col
onel Goethals' rewards in the least,
but he is not the only man engaged IN
building the Panama canal who de-
serves the gratitude of the country.
There are several men who deserve a
great deal at the hands of the people,
and not a few think that Colonel Cor
gas is fully as deserving as Colonel
Goethals.
The canal is in course of construc-
ton and will continue to be two
months hence when the present ad-
ministration will go out of office.
Why then should a reorganization. at
Panama be fastened? Why not let it
await the action of an administration
that must shoulder the responsibility ?
The completion of the canal is year
in the future and the official opening
of it is not to take place until jan
uary 1, 1915. While the Culebra cut
continues to slide there is no need
of a specially organized zone govern
ment or of the placing of employees
of the canal on the classified list.
President Taft should not in other
words be precipitate. Let the entire
subject go over to the administration
that must in due course handle it and
be responsible for it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
A PASTORAL TRAGEDY.


The passionate shepherd
| Ills lot doth lament;
Sweet Phyllida left him
| One morning she went.
Some say twas an actor
| Who led her astray
And some say chauffeur
Upon the White Way"
Alone on the hillside
The desolate swain
Sheds tears of deep sorrow
That shower like rain.
His pipe is neglected,
He singeth no more.
His flock is a-straying
The wide country DER.
She spoke of his manners
As boorish and rude
When she would a lover
With polish endued.
Then shortly she left him,
The hard-hea rted girl;
Grown tired of day dreaming
She longed for whirl.
A shepherd, she knew it,
Saw little of life;
Shed be in the swim as
An actor-mans wife.
Or was it chauffeur?
We really can't say,
But sad is the shepherd
Since she went away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
TALENTS DIFFER

BY Ralph Waldo Emerson. 4
The mountain and the squirrel
Had a quarrel
And the former called the latter
Little prig.''
Bun replied,
You are doubtless very big,
But all sorts of things and weather
Must be taken in together
To make up year,
And a sphere;
And I think it no disgrace
TO occupy my place.
Ii I'm not so large as you
You are not so small as l.
And not half SO spry;
IN not deny you make
A very pretty squirrel track.
Talents differ; all is well and wisely put;
II cannot carry forests on my baok
Neither can you crack Z nut
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Working Up a bushes. Enterprise

Il started in the wagon news agency
business here four years ago and by
ilard work and attention have an en-
terprise that not only serves the public
put pays fairly WE'LL said H. r. De-
Laye. i handle over 800 dailies and
many OF the popular weekies.
The character of my business natu-
rally requires a great deal of CORE
spondence and all my stationery
letter heads and envelopes-is full OF
birmingham boosting. This city is
making rapid progress as every one
can see, and the growth of my line OF
business is one of the many good ha-
rometers."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
.EuRopE AND THE WAR;

sydney Brooks. in the January number
Of the North American Review.
The statesmen of Vienna disclaim with
vehemence any intention of keeping Ser
via in a state of economic tnraldom. They
point out that the enlarged Servia will,
for one thing, be much Iearer to Sa1oniki
than it is at present: that the allies may
form a customs union which would fur
nish Servia with the additional markets
she desires; that no protest would be
raised IL she were to build railroad to
connect with the Montenegrin port Of An
tivari on the Adriatic; that means could
be found of meeting Servian needs either
by q fiscal convention between Vienna and
Belgrade or by direct railway communica-
ton between the Servian capital and the
Dalmatian coast. In short they insist
that a port on the Adriatic is not neces-
sary to Serva's economic emancipation.
The Servians. however, still profess to
regard it as vital, and a strong body of
popular opinion in Russia has been
aroused in support of their claims. The
Russian government, however, though
humanity ready to pay off some old scores
with Austria Hungary and though con-
scious that Its title to the guardianship Of
the smaller Slav states will be well nigh
gone forever IL 1t fails again. as it failed
In 1909, to uphold Servia against "Teuton
oppression" has so far taken no extreme
step. Both powers, nevertheless have
mcbilized, Germany has frankly stated her
intention of standing by her ally, il
she is attacked; and the situation, while
nor yet acute, is still strained and at the
mercy of chance incident If the Slav
sentiment among the Russian masses
were to be in inf1amed, the worst would
have to be feared and prepared for--the
Balkans being perhaps the only quarter
of the world where Russian popular opin-
ion really influences Russian policy.
But on the whole the chances favor
peace. The common sentiment of Europe
recoils in horror from the idea of a war
waged over such trumpery pretext as
Sersia's outlet to the sea. even though
the pretext be draped with much knowing
rhetoric about the irrebressible and in
cvitable conflict between the TeutoA and
the slsv.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
REFLECTIONS OF BACHELoR

From the New York Press.
The hand that would be most gen
erous never has any money.
1t takes the genius of girl to manage
three acre cold with three inch hand
kerchief.
The girl who won't hirt is somebody's
infant daughter. flannel skirted and II
her cradle.
a man would rather be run over BY
trolley car than have his wife call hin
pet names in public
BY the time boy gets beyond his
mothers slipper some girl gets her No.
shoe on his neck.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The London county council supplies
about $4,000 n5eals daily to hungry school
children. Breakfasts cost the council 2.ss
cents each and dinners S.75 cents. Break
fast includes cocoa or hot milk. porridge
OF bread and dripping or jam. Dinner
includes meat, potatoes and rice pudding,
tuted
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

orator; Justin Mccarthy, the Irish
historian; Sir Laurence Alma
Tadema, the painter; Francis D. Mil
let, the artist, who was drowned in
che Titanic, together with William
Stead, the British magazine writer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Vienna furnishes suicide pact that. out
ranks all others at present. Three youths
in love with a young girl threatened to
commit suicide on her account They were
drinking tea in a secluded corner of a
cafe when all suddenly fell from their
chairs, dying. They evidently had placed
poison in their beverage. photograph
OF the trio was found in their possession
addressed to the girl who told of their
threat. Eslf.4 All f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
ARRESTED FOR GENEROSITY

From the New York Telegram.
Recently a man was arrested In ST.
Louis on the complaint of his wife, who
asked the police to hold him for legal
inquiry into his mental condition She
charged he was lavishly spending money
for diamonds silverware, fine clothes and
shoes. an automobile and supply of
whisky, good for 10 years. A doctor failed
to find evidences Of insanity, and the ac-
cused denied the charges made by his
wife about extravagant expenditures. and
said he was amply able to pay for the
goods he had ordered, most of which he
had intended as surprise for her on her
wedding anniversary. He convinced the
police he was not insane and was re-
leased.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

From the Saturday Evening Post.
TIME only thing in the universe George
Bernard Shaw thinks he personally
i could not improve upon is himself.
For alb other doctrines, persons. creeds,
landscapes natural functions. policies,
ybarties, food, clothing, literature, political
Visions sciences, arts, crafts, theories,
PHILOSOPHERS and any other demonstration
Of any field of endeavor in his own coun-
try. which is England, or in any and
every other country, he is prepared to
furnish plans and specifications showing
how he would make over anything and
everything according to his ideas, and
with great resultant Improvement and in
cidental benefit to the human race, Of
course.
Holding himself apart as the one per-
feet specimen of the handiwork of Nature
and the embellishments of civilization
thereupon, he is willing and anxious to
undertake the reconstruction and amend
ment of all other animate and inanimate
things, of all beliefs and all believers. On
days when he is feeling especially fit it is
no task for him to dash off in a few hours
a comprehensive, detailed method for the
reform of civilization as whole: and
ever when he is bit seedy he can elabo-
rate between breakfast and tea a project
for the remaking of the Caucasian race
and not half try. The remodeling of a
nation is but an hours diversion for him,
and the renovation of an individual re-
quires but a few minutes thought.
He is the premier panaceaist of the age.
He has a remedy for everything from
social conditions to the courses of the
stars Nothing is right but himself. Every
time he leaves his hame OH Adelphi Ter
race. in London, he has contrived 2 new
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Washington more than four years at a
time and it may be that Mr.. Wilson VIII
be one term President, but | have an
Idea that he is going to make an ex-
ceptionally good chief magistrate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Easter than we will have this year The
spring feast day will come this year on
March %. This is pretty early to blossom
out in brand new summery attire in honor
OF the occasion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The late Tom l.. johnson of Cleveland
handed over securities worth $4,000 to pro-
mote the cause of municipal ownership
and single tax, and these securities have
gft was void because of indefiniteness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
LUKE SAYS.

II Father happens to mention that he
saw pretty girl on the street Mother
won't say much until she is putting the
children to bed and then she will notify
the kids that Paw is going to get them a
stepmother who will lam the daylights
ont of them.-Luke McI1uke, in the Gin
ennati Enquirer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
DOMESTIC SCENE.

DOMESTIC SCENE.
It's money for this and money for
that. all day longl' snarled Mr.. Blotster
10 his wife. Woman is there anything
you can do Without
Yes" answered Mrs. Blobster, in her
sweetest tones.
Name it! Name it!'
''The smallpox" replied Mrs. Blobster.
and when Mr.. Blobster went out he
slammed the door so hard 1t ratified the
unwashed dishes in the kitchen sink.
MORE EXPEDITIONS.
Pa, what is meant by the road to
ruin?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
A PRIVILEGE.

"A church mouse is proverbially poor"
That's true, but a church mouse sees
some fine silk hose on Sunday
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Big insurance plums occasionally fall
The insurance companies have just PAID
s25O'0O0 TO Mrs. Harry w. Fisher, widow
Of the Chicago promoter killed at Bald.
win, Mich, last summer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Adolph S. Ochs has sold the PhiladeI-
phia Public Ledger TO c. II. X. Curtis
publisher of the Saturday Evening Post.
George W. and Milton ochs remain with
the paper for the present, but it is be-
lieved they will soon retire from it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

In April. 1910, Alabama had $4,000 cows
which yielded 1s,72s,0o gallons yearly of
milk. This was at the rate of three
quarts dap per COW. In 1910 there was
one COW to every seven persons. and this
COW gave three quarts of milk 1t is
well to understand where I'VE are at on
tho milk question
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

From the ST. Louis Post- Dispatch.
Priscilla-They say that Clara's hair
is not her own.
Prunella--Do they? What a shame!
Why, she showed me o. receipted bill
for it the other day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
INDIGNIFIEp.

The presidential button
Makes no great hit with me-
On Woodrow Wilson'S lapel
[ hope twill never be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
A FRISKY MAID

who is the stunning blonde?"
That's Tottie GOGGLES. the celebrated
chorus girl"
what did she ever do?''
''She kicked holes in seven silk hats on
New Years eve.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
A STRONG CHARACTER.

That man must be quite free from aches
And have a rugged constitution,
Who January / ne'er makes
A single New Year resolution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

To reward Colonel Goethals with the
candidacy of the republican party in 1916
is just no reward at all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The plant that the Steel corporation is
to build across the river from Detroit is
to cost s20.oOo.oOO 1t will include blast fur
naces, a wire mill. rail mill, a structural
mill and bar mill. The corporation owns
1868 acres on the Detroit river along which
the water is % to 30 feet deem.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Thus far it does not appear that the bull
moose was overwhelmed with parcels left
by the parcel post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Congressman Lewis proposes to increase
the parcel post weight limit to 100
pounds. This would prove fatiguing to the
carriers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Congress is indulgng In a paper chase
that shocks some people and amuses the
remainder of the population
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

William Rockefeller is simply endeayor-
ins to see that he is not dragged \ Wash
ington by force.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

y vast amount of oleomargarine was
manufactured in this country last year,
and some of it was eaten by mistake for
butter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
OVERWEIGHT.
sends a ton of love- .

Jack sends ton of love-
Just remind him, when you answer his
letter. that packages intended for the
parcel post must not exceed eleven
pounds
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The Daughters of Eve in New York are
now engaged in knocking the bottom out
OF the apple market.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Men are April when they woo, Decem-
ber when they wed, maids are Nay
when they are maids but thc shy
changes when they are wives.
As You Like II.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The inaugural ball is about to be abol-
ished because SO many tickets. are sold
that there is room for innocent bystanders
only
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Ex-Congressman 7

Ex-Congressman Tawney has picked
Colonel Goethals as the standard bearer
of dead party in 1916. Colonel Goethals
can do better than hat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

The bricks sent out from Gary by parcel
post are to be kept as curios and fancy
price has been put upon then.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Castro may come back as a Black Hand
er. and then he will be welcomed to the
United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
TWO MATHS

There isn't a road to ruin any more.
son. Nowadays it's a chute
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
THE JAP BAkER,s SIGN

From the Oriental Review.
The Oriental capacity for using our
mother tongue with strange twists of un.
conscious humor is we'll known, but few
examples are equal to this delicious sign
on Japanese bakers shop:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
Tribute TO Kentucky

Alabama is one of the greatest states
in the union and no state, perhaps has
more natural resources" said a mem
ber of Brmingham's Kentucky colony
but I came across this toast the other
day which impressed me and which
know will impress other citizens who
were born in the state from which ]
hail:
youngest state; not the richest, nor yet
the poorest; not the largest, nor yet the
least; but take it all in all. for men and
women, for flocks and herds. for fields
and skies, for happy homes and loving
hearts, the best place, outside of heaven
the good Lord ever made.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
About Persons

Hugo Myx of Otto Marx & Co. re-
turned yesterday from visit lasting
ten days in Louisville.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

George G. Crawford. president of the
Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad COM
pany, will leave for New York Mon
1ox,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

Uncle Sans express is winning busi-
ness hands down.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
The PresIdent-Elect'. Popularity

Ever since 1880 1 have been voter
and l had always voted the republican
ticket until last November. when 1 cast
my ballot for Roosevelt, the standa rd
bearer of the new progressive party
but since my candidate failed to win |
am glad that Woodrow Wilson was
chosen President said IL. F. Padding
ton of Philadelphia.
''In former campai igns when the repub-
licans went down in defeat-1sSf and lS9.
Il like most republicans, felt detected,
but 1t was different in the last eelction.
wanted to see Colonel Roosevelt elect
ed, of course. but next to }nl was for
Wilson. There are thousands of former
republicans who are sincerely wishing
that Mr.. Wilson may have a successful
administration
! "Since the war the democrats have
aot had q habit Of staying in control in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04
a GOITRMET.

I'm AFRAID DublSins lacks the rue aes-
thetic temperament.
"Nhy so?.
THE only conception he has of an Ital-
ian garden is a place where people eat
spa ghetti and drink Chianti.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-01-04

IWO MAIDS.
She stood beneath the mistletoe,
And stood and stood:
Her face was very plain, and so
We knew she would.
Birmingham Age-HeraJd.
She stood beneath the mistletoe,
But stood not very long;
Her face was very pretty,
And her chance soon came along.
louisville Post.