davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
Pretty Hard.

1t got SO that Theophlus had to come
to Chicago to get square meal of fine,
cold storage food-and l hear that he 5
opening his Office again in Chicago. lie
says he's tired Of running an eleemosy-
nary health resort for beasts and fowls
and being chambermaid to the resi-
dents"
Well said the lawyer who had lis
tened attentively, Il shall heed your
warning 1 shall tell my wife that all
cows bite and that scratch from
chickens tooth is fatal"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
Selahl

the cerise feather "Since we were IN
sixth grade! A friendship like that is
so unique and rare! Tom I have said
to him so many times, no matter how
long you stay away, when you come to
see me it is precisely as though we had
parted only yesterday That's what
real mental affinity is, I think. Don't
you? If two persons are congenial and
suited in every way to each other they
can't help but recognize it!'
81 suppose not" said the other Young
woman. What are you buying to-
day."
Not a thing now" said the girl with
the Cerise feather. I'm all through and
can give all the time you want to help
ing you select your lace. I'd love to-
I've seen so little of you lately, Ger
trude. Come over-you and Tom, come
over tomorrow night to dinner! Please
do!'
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
A Shock.

Why" began the girl who was
buying lace.
Now, l just won't take a refusalr'
said the other with pretty sternness.
Think of all we've got to talk about!
Tom"
It was going to say" interrupted the
young woman who was buying lace.
that it viii be impossible. because
mother gives a dinner tomorrow night
for Caroline's people You know, Tom
and Caroline Steele are going to be
married next month";"
''Wh-what?" shrieked the girl with
the cerise feather. THAT pasty Caro-
line Steele? I-he-why really!
hadn't heard! How perfectly lovely!
Do congratulate him for me! I'm so
sorry, but I've got to run along-im-
portant engagement"
We'll. good by-if you must be
going"' said Toms sister. sweetly.
And I really have enjoyed our little
chat"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
Sentimental F arming

gym thinking Of buying a farm"
said the lawyer MY wife ia
4 crazy on the subject says
there's nothing like owning land in
your old age. so you are sure youn
have plenty to eat and roof 10 cover
you"
That's all right unless your wife
is like Theophilus Evers' wife" in
terrupted the doctor His wife said
the same thing, and she bounded The
ophilus until he gave up his law prac-
tice and bought farm GO miles out Of
Chicago.
He said that he had wrestled with
clients and expounded the law for ~
years and he guessed he had earned
rest or course, he always added, he
had no idea Of retiring TO a farm and
just idling he was going to do little
regular work to keep in trim.
Every day at luncheon for month
he told us how fine Il was going to be
70 have all the butter and cream and
fresh eggs and chickens that they want
ed-not AT the within of a grocer and a
mllllman, but at their own pleasure
All they would have to do was 10 go
out and pluck the dinner or the farm
and ask favors of nobody
"Theophius had the money TO stock
a farm with provisions like that and We
really envied him
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
A Mistake.

Yes. sir" said the real estate
agent. Il can recommend this place
TO YOU. No malaria. Chills unknown.
Healthiest locality in the State"
Guess we can't do business then.
replied the prospective tenant I'm
a doctor"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14

and call dow n
blessings upon tho
head Of the woman
W h o Journey
with only one
small bag in her
hand.
6-Also. II thou
possesseth an in
FAINT that howlsth
by night and
maketh sleep i'm =
possible to those
in the neighbor-
hood round about
II, stay within
thine own homa.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14

she-dragons who bar the door while
they marceIle their locks, and put
ointment and paint upon their counte-
nances, and dye their finger tips with
henna, while their sisters moan and
blaspheme in their kimonos without
the portal. vainly seeking entrance.
when thou visiteth a strange
place elamor not for the things thou
hath at home, and nocL, M. NJ,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
He Forgot

He bought the greatest array OF
chickens YOU ever saw and calculated
that he was going 70 have broIlers
enough for the whole county. and his
cows were blooded stock. So were the
pigs and other animals with what he
intended TO grow on his land Theophilus
figured that he would have 10 buy only
a few clothes and maybe sugar and
tabasco sauce
But he hadn't reckoued on his wife
The first time he said he guessed the
time was ripe for a chicken dinner Mrs
Theophlus burst into amazed tears,
She said she simply didn't have the
heart TO eat a chicken that she was
acquainted with and she's never thought
1t Of him So they got their chicken
dinner from a farmer near by, whose
plebeian poultry yard was carried on
for general use instead Of ornament.
"NNhy. it wasn't minute before Mrs
Evers had all those chickens OF theirs
named and, what's more. they'd come
when she called them Shed go out
In the back ward and say: Now. Beat
rice and Helen and Josephine. you we
been rolling In the dust again, Look at
Your nice white wings Aren't YOU
ashamed" And those White Orping-
tons would scratch around in the gravel
and look sheepish and she'd dust them
of or she'd call out. Jane and Lii
Ian ana Blanche and you, Bertha, you've
been frlskiug around witheGt laying any
eggs for several days Now. you 20
right In there TO Your nice. coy nests
and lay something Immediately
"EyerS said they always obeyed her,
but I don't know his mind was get
ing uet-Goie4 10y that ume. lie had
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14

a ~ - w
cause It hath not
the customs Of
squeedunk, Ia. nor
rail because thou
canst not have
buckwheat cakes
and maple syrup in
t he pension in
Venice. Peradven-
ture thou mayest
even learn OF the
heathen by con-
I e m . l a ting his
ways.
s-When tn o u
travellest in thine
own country seek
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
BY Lillian LAUFERTY

n LOST Of us realize what a won
MI derfu illumination for the face
Az is afforded by a beautiful pair Of
eyes. And yet. either because we are
lazy or have a touching faith IN Prov
idence we do absolutely nothing to CON
serve and preserve the health OF these
hard working members Of our bodily or
ganlzation.
But I have found little girl who
seems to feel that she owes something
to these good friends who do so much
for her. There is nothing more beauti-
full than beautiful eyes-and the pref
tier they are the harder they have to
work, said little Mollie King, OF the
Winter Garden Passing Show Of 1913"
in New York
one naturally says Little Mollie." be-
cause the simple little white shirtwasst
and white felt hat so earnestly bespeak
youth in the flush Of her beginning ca
reer, and Mollie Kings whole eager
manner and girlish desire TO please
make little and young come trooping
to your mind when describing this clever
girl
Now. all the while I am doing my
Anna Held imitation my eyes are under
a strain Those muscles get just as
tired as any hard working muscles in
the body would, and so I keep them in
training But even II you are not us
ing your eyes in the way I have TO-.
they are working all the time So 1
feel sure it would be wise for other girls
10 follow my treatment
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
Why He Objected.

Grace, what is it your father sees
in me to object to-"
He doesn't see anything in you.
Algernon. That's why he objects"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
Beauty Secrets of Beautiful Women
Expert Advioe from loAhr King an the Care Of the Eyes

but has 70 keep working for her sue
cess and 20 keep up with the process
sion. You mustn't begrudge others
their success-but must really win your
Gown for yourself-and not make any
enemies on your way to glory Every
one has chance, YOU know-and other
people getting ahead does not keep you
from getting there, too
And then If girls would get the ath-
letic habit I am sure they would not
have to worry about getting this. Ten
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14

curve you felt was most becoming"
And how about your mind and body
and disposition? / feel sure you must
have more beauty secrets to help you
attain success so early In life," said l.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
More Secrets.

Lets see" meditated Miss Molle. 81
think to be simple, and have a sweet
manner and not TO get a 'swelled head
are the best things for a girl TO remem-
Der. You know any young girl who
wants to get ahead in the world has to
know she can't mix work and play
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-07-14
In the Morning.

Every morning I give my eyes
cold water massage, and this is the
recipe for the new kind Of massage
Cup your palm and an it with colo
water again and again, and dash the
water briskly at your eyes About thir-
~ times for each eye IS my treatment.
and they do feel SO fine and active
with the blood coursinE through them.
when my eyes are very tired / battle
them first with hot and then with
cold water This treatment / go about
gently and it rests the eyes and nerves
too and brings color TO the cheeks at
the same time. Every night and when
ever l come in from any outdoor excur-
sion that has been very dusty / battle
nay eyes with a weak solution Of boracic
acid. Sometimes I wipe them out with
d bit Of soft cloth and sometimes apply
the boracic acid solution in an eye cup
and hold il against the eyebau for d
nice, long, restful time
Then ] have just one beauty secret
for my eyebrows went on Miss Nouie.
with a regular little girI-drsssed-up-
Se-a-lady air of secrecy. 81 have the
cutest little brush for my eyebrows. II
is wee. like a baby's toothbrush. II
there are such things And with that ]
patiently brush my eyebrows In just the
shape / want them 20 go. ! like little
half circles, but you could train your
eyebrows into cresceuts OF any sort OF
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
Irish Wit and Humor.

Irish wit is an old, old subject, but
one, withal, on which there is a gen.
eral agreement of opinion. Neither in
trying times nor in peace and pros
perity have the Irish failed to exer-
else that faculty which wins from the
sullen world a smile. If the world
agrees on one attribute of the Irish
people, it is that they as race are
past masters of humor.
D: J. O'Donoghue in an article on
Irish Wit and Humor, says: LAS it
is impossible to define humor or wit
exactly. it is hardly wise to add an
other to the many failures. But Irish
humor, properly speaking, is, one may
venture, to say. more imaginative than
any other. And it is probably less ILL
natured than that of any other nation,
though the Irish have a special apt
ness in the saying of things that
wound, and the most illiterate of Irish
peasants often puts more scorn into a
retort than the most highly educated
of another race. There is sometimes
. half pathetic strain in the best Irish
humorous writer's. and just as in their
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
G. T. A. UNION
CONVENTION
Annual Gathering to Bo Hold This
Year in Philadelphia.

The forty-third annual convention
of the Catholic Total Abstinence Union
of America will be held in the city of
Philadelphia. Pa, August 5. 6, and
8. under the auspices Of the Catholic
Total Abstinence societies of that city.
Delegates and visitors to the con-
vention will have a fine opportunity Of
seeing one Of the most interesting cit.
les in the United States. situated as Is
is within few hours ride of the ma
tional capital. the battlefield Of Gettys-
burg and some of the most famous
seashore resorts in the country.
The business session of the conven-
ton will be held in the Catholic high
school for boys
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
RUNNING FAIR ROADS,.

It is pitiable to ride along what
road and see where the so-called
road-makers have plowed deep fur
rows alongside preparatory to dump
ing the sods right in the middle of
the road where they will be left.
without any further work, BUMPER
and rougher than the toughest kind
of corduroy until the traffic has worn
it down. Some Of the best roads,
which never required any work, are
ruined in this way every season.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
CATHOLIC FEDERA-
TION CONVENTION
AT MILWAUKEE,
PROMINENT CATHOLICS TO AT.
END MEETING.

An imposing list of Catholic prelates
will gather in Milwaukee during the
twelfth annual convention of American
Federation of Catholic societies to be
held from Aug. 10 to IS. In all more
than 10000 scholars, editors, business
and working men and women who are
in the forefront of Catholic activities
all over the country are expected
Among the widely known churchmen
who have already promised to be here
are:
Cardinal James Gibbons, DID,, arch
bishop of Baltimore, Md; the Most
Rev. John Ireland, archbishop of ST.
Paul, Mimi, the Most Rev. ]. E. Quig-
ley, DID,, archbishop of Chicago, Ill.,;
the Most Reverend J. j. Glennon, DID,,
archbishop of st. Louis. Mo-; the Most
Rev. S. G. Messmer DID,, archbishop
of Milwaukee,; the Most Rev. ]. Keane,
DID, archbishop of Dubuque Ia; the
1T. Rev. j. Fox, DID,, bishop of Green
Bay. Wis; the Rt. Rev. J. Schwebach
DID,, bishop of La Crosse, Wis; Rt
Rev. F. F. Els, DID,, bishop of Mar
quette, Mich; Rt. Rev. A. Cehinner,
DID,, bishop of Superior, Wis; RRe
Rev. J. A. McFaul DID,, bishop OF
Trenton, N. j.: Rt. Rev. c. P, Macs
D. D., bishop of Covington, KY; Rt
Rev. J. Richter, DID,, bishop of Grand
Rapids, Mich; Rt. Rev. P. J. Muldoon
bishop of Rockford, ILL.,; Rt. Rev. s
Bryne. DID,, bishop of Nashville
Tenn; the Rt. Rev. J. s. Cunningham,
DID,, bishop Of Concordia, Kan: Rt
Rev. V. Wehrle, DID,, bishop of North
Dakota; Rt. Rev. ]. Davis, DID,. bish.
op of Davenport, Ia; Rt. Rev. J. Ward
DID,, bishop of Kansas City, Kan: Rt
Rev. ]. F. Busch, DID,, bishop of Lead
S. D., Rt. Rev. E. M. Dunno, D. D,
bishop of Peoria, ILL.,: Rt. Rev. ]. Tro.
bee, DID,, bishop Of st. Cloud, MINI;
Rt Rev. P. ]. Carrigan, DID,, bishop
of Sioux City. Ia, and others.
Il expect we shall have one of the
grandest Catholic gatherings ever held
in the West" said Archbishop Sebas-
ton G. Messmer in speaking of the
convention. mo one will regret at
tending as our committees are bound
to make it pleasant for ALL"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19

saddest moments the people are in
clined to joke, so in many writings
where pathos predominates there
CLEANS forth native humor. If true
Irish humor is not easily defined with
precision, it is at least easily recog-
ntzable-there is so much buoyancy
and movement in it. and usually so
much expansion of heart
There have been Irish humorists
that could be sternly satirical, but
they are not in majority. The pre-
dominating characteristic Of true Irish
humor is that it is buoyant, simple,
like a ripple on a calm surface. 1t is
surface humor, humor that fits about
lightning now here, now there. 1t
lights in the most unexpected places
to raise laugh and be gone. It is
fanciful and imaginative, not intend
ed to strike deeply, but only to please.
The writer quoted above says:
Irish humor is mainly store Of
merriment pure and simple, without
much personal taint, and it does not
profess to be philosophical. Human
follies or deformities are rarely touch
ed upon, and luckily Irish humorous
writer's do not attempt the didactic.
In political warfare, however, the Bit
terest taunts are heard, and it is
somewhat regrettable that Irish poll
tics should have absorbed so great a
part of Irish wit, and have turned
what might have been pleasant read
ing into a succession of biting sar-
casms"
The peculiar fact about Irish hu-
NOR is that it has never ceased to fill
a large part of Irish life and litera-
ture, though there have been times in
the history of Ireland when one could
expect anything but humor from the
race. Much of the best quaint humor
of the peasantry is, of course, lost to
literat ture, because it has never been
preserved in writing Irish literature
alone would not be a sufficient au-
thority for applying the term natural
born humorists to the Irish people. 1t
is the ever present humor of daily
contact with them that gives that i'm
preston. n sa..y4s !. l-,si
And who will scorn the gift or the
ability. or whatever 1t may be termed,
that enables the Irish peasant to mako
his fellows laugh. Humor is the skel-
eton key to almost any gate. 1t was
Irish humor that made Ireland habit
able in the dark days of persecution
and famine and suffering.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
Irish Measure Given Unexpected
Majority of 1O9-National-
lists Jubilant.
Welsh Disestablishment Bill Re-
ceives Majority of 104 on
Final Ballot.
Victory Finds Fitting elimination
in Banquet for Redmond
and Asquith.

The third triumph for home rule
was won in the house of commons
last week when the bill passed it's
third reading. The victory was unex-
peotedly decisive. The magnificent ma
jority Of 109 was recorded, though the
most optimistic Of the Irish leaders
did not expect it to pass the hundred
mark. Along with the Irish bill went
the Welsh disestablishment bill, car
ried by a majority of 104.
The victory is decisive and severe
blow to the tories. Contrary to the
expectations Of the Orangemen, the
Irish bill has not lost in public fa-
vor. Rather 1t has accumulated
strength in the severe test of prolong-
ed debates.
The veto of the house of lords will
have but little effect now. No one ex-
pected that the members of the upper
chamber would ever assent to a meas
ure designed to give home rule to
Ireland. Once more the bill must pass
the house of commons. That will be
next May or June. 1t will then be-
come law regardless of what the lords
do. - ''n'' = .>,s~.'
isaT The 0rangemen admitted their. de-
1fskt ~ absentins themselves from the
house Of commons in the closing
stages of the debate. They have re-
treated to Ulster to arouse whatever
trouble they may. But the decision
Of the house of commons is a warn
ing to Sir Edward Carson and his
troupe that their efforts at exciting
spirit of resistance are not to be
tolerated. The reaction against home
rule is reaction against the crown.
1t must come to a sad, but timely, end
Ing.
The only hope of the tories now is
that the king will refuse next year
to sanction home rule until it has
been submitted to another general
election. No one outside of the tories
really believes that he will even con-
slider such course.
The triumph of the bill was cele-
brated at dinner given by Redmond
and Asquith Thursday of last week.
It is the first time that the English
premier has ever been entertained by
the Irish party and is therefore re-
garded in English government circles
as an epoch making event. At the
meeting, according to information CIV
en- out by members Of the Irish party
who were present, Mr.. Asquith's ex-
preston of confidence that the home
rule bill will reach the statute books
aroused the Irish members to the
highest pitch of enthusiasm. John
Redmond spoke briefly, proposed Mr..
Asquith's health and the remainder of
the evening was given to the singing
of Irish ballads recounting Ireland's
long struggle for the freedom that at
last is about to dawn.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19
Sing courage to the mother,
Sing strength into the man,

Sing courage to the mother,
Sing strength into the man,
That she. who in another May
Came out of heaven trailing care.
May never know that sometimes
Earth's roof is and its cupboards bare
To them in whose sad ,May-time
sang'st comfort from thy maple
bough,
To tinge the presaged dole with
sweet,
Oh. prophet then, be prophet now
And paraclete!
The poem is done. and truly there is
the "ceasing of exquisite music" Com.
mentary is useless. The thing is to
read it again and again, and bless the
Paraclete for it. Inasmuch as I have
alluded to form before as an essential
Of poetry, 1 shall only beg leave to
point out that in this high ode form
In the sense of inner life is as indis-
putably present as potent and as in
visible as the soul in the beautifully
moving body. With this poem as a
text the scholastic philosopher might
halt and read the "cubist" poet of our
day a lecture on the source of beauty
In art
Reverting to our original intention,
the honors Of mortality seem little
enough to claim for the author of such
sure work as this. But what 1t tho
honors OF mortality should turn the
honors of immortality and the song of
today become the song of all days?
There is the greater likelihood, accord
ing as the song of today is the more
vital. There will come a day, for ex-
ample. when Giuseppe Da Barber"
and MARY MacCroll" shall be myth
ical. their genre having long passed.
Who knows, the "bad spelling of tho
Dago pieces may yet furnish forth
university doctors thesis? For, look
you, already. to our knowledge. in the
writings Of Mr. Dooley at least one
great scholar is discovering his laws
of phonetics worked out. TO this luck
Mr.. DAILY may come. and oblivion
might be better far, But to this for-
tune he may come, too. that in his
lines will live phases of life that is
vanishing. his very verse keeping that
life. being that life ,incarnate, souled
with song. So much for the dialect
verse; as for 1.-The Thrush"-Mr. DAILY
! is yet young man---and the forth
coming Songs Of wcdlock," we are
reminded Of the simple dreams of
| Keats. expressed in wise that justify
his hope: 20 might l." he cries to
May,
oh. might / thy smiles
Seek as they once were sought, in
Grecian isles.
BY bards who died content on pleas
ant sward,
Leaving great verse unto n little clan!
Oh. give me their old vigor, and un-
heard
| Save of the quiet primrose and the
span
OF heaven. and few ears.
Rounded by thee, my song should die
away,
Content as theirs,
Rich in the simple worship of day!
With their simple worship of great
their own generation, but nre not we
the children Of light?
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-19

"Oh peace thou soul and source OF
social life
Beneath whose calm inspiring influ-
enCG
Science his views enlarges. are retlnes,
And swelling commerce opens all her
ports,
Blessed be the Man Divine Who gave
us thee"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1913-11-19
SOCIAL NOTES.

Miss Anna Schlumberger very pleas
antly entertained her Sunday school
class and a number of friends on Fri
day evening. A delightful time was
enjoyed and dainty refreshments were
served.
The H. H. club met the club rooms
Thursday evening with Miss Ethel
Mill as hostess and enjoyed their US
ual good time.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. P. Conner enter.
tanned the Auction Bridge club Friday
evening A fine game was enjoyed
and light refreshments served.
The Misses Marie Heiden and
Estele Johnson entertained about
twenty friends at very nice party
Friday evening. Music and games
pleasantly passed the time, after
which a two course lunch was served
The S. S. club met in regular SEES
sion Tuesday evening with Mss Iva
Smith as chairman. A fine supper
and pleasant program were much en-
joyed.
A pleasant surprise was perpetrated
on Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Brogden Friday
evening at their pleasant country
home. The occasion was Mrs. Brog.
denis birthday and eighteen of the rel.
atives swooped down on them at sup
per time laden with good things for
a regular banquet A jolly evening
was enjoyed and the honored lady
presented with a beautiful casserole.
Mrs. McConnaughey will entertain
the Loterie club Thursday afternoon.
The Penelope club will meet with
Mrs. Wygant Tuesday afternoon.
The P. E. o. society will meet with
Mrs. Gebert on Friday.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1913-11-19

25cts. Buys quart bottle Of Cane
Syrup with Maple flavor. The Bale
Brod risen Co. Att