The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1913-04-20
TEN TINES FIVE"
THE ANSWER GIVEN
"'TlS HALF A MILLION" SAYS
O'TooLE-hAvE YOUR LAMPS
TRIMMED"

bOou HluIHll,, W.T.. MCbOnlSal,
said O"Toole yesterday upon meeting
his old friend and associate when en- =
tering the mayors office, and where
was it ye were joy ridin to on
Chuesday with His Honor, in the
big new car with the showfer in
the sthriped shirt and the red neck
tie a sittin' at the steerin' wheel. a
lukSin straight forninst him and bat
tin diyil an eye as he turned this
corner and that wan on two wheels
av the car with the other two wheels
av il playin' whirl-a- magig- and a
pin wheeln' in the air? And was
it out to the banks av the storm
swept Caddo ye're afhter sayin' you
We're, On an inspicthin thrip, ye say,
with divil a fishin' pole and not a
case of snake bite rimidy anywhere
in sight? ? Well, Mr.. McGonigal. If
yell be passn' your old friend
O'Toole, wan of thin seeears your
af'her kapin' for spechial acchasions
nay nay, Pauline, not wan av thin
wan av the vans with the goOld
lands about the belly ay thin, tho
kind your father givin to Numbers
av the OF! brigade whin they sthray
in from Toolsa and Mooskoopee and
such like forrin' poorts-I'll be sayin'
that twas mighty poor judgment ye
showed in goin out in prohibition
sassietY without your own little pri-
vate quart nip av the crather con
cealcd on your person. A match il
ye please, Mr.. McGonigal. Oh, d
your old waste basket, what harm
am | afther doin' by spittih in it.?
What if the nayger don't like to git
his hands mkt up in it in emptyln
av the papers and the other wastes
ay business? Sure and cant ye get
ye another nayger, with them as
thick in Ar-rdmore as the dramei
one can be afther buyin' at SOON az
our droog sthores at the small SOON
av ten cints whlff? And where had
| been meself are ye afther askin'?
SURE and where should | have been
Except on a trip av INVESTIGATION on
me own hook, in company with a.
noOmber av men whose pocket change
had all bin soaked in the greasy
stool which ccoms from the bowels
av the earth and sthains the pipe or
ganS av the churches which are
bought by John d. immigetly afthcr
he has bin putin the price av crude |
oil down and raisin that av low
grade coal oil and miXin' wather in |
the gasoline he's sellin'. Yes, Mr.. |
McGonigal, it was to the oil fields av
Carter county | wint. Out to the
places where company the big rail
road which runs through Atchison
and on to Santa Fe is named afther
ho
in Mr. McGonigal. 'Tis the wan
that pays its Employees for kapin'
their mouths shut and for misriprl-
Sintin the nomber av gallons there
is in a Darrell and the noomber
av barrels there is afther coomin
cut NV hole in the ground-espech
ioulv whn the hole in the ground is
in the ground around Oil City and
that section av Carter county. Sure,
Mr.. McGoniGal, it's findin' out | have
bin that this same oil company has
only secured prodthuct av thrifle
over $4,000 to be turned into tho
tax assessor of TIE county for the
year Of our Good Lord 1912, even
though tbs said their investment and
the stool they are takin' from the
risoOryoors av nature is tin times
what it was in 1908 whin the same
company turned in approximately
$50, 900. Sure and twas arithmetic
| learned on me thrip, McMonigal,
for twas always thinllin | was that
$4,000 multiplied by tin would make
a man a half a millionaire at laste
and whinI have set in a tin handed
game with a two chip anti, it's al
tst,1; tt.,,,
av two by tin would be afther max
in. But soomthin' was wrong with
he chips, for | now see afther the
inspection av the ways av
company that there should only have
been about three chips and siX-sev
enths av chip in the pot afther the
av the two by tin. But
liminatin' the increase in valuation
rom the QUESTION, Mr. McGonigal if
ye have anything in the matther
Nv the boonch av change ye may
De wantin to see multiplied, and ye'll
be inclined to put it into the dirt
iroond about the Carter county oil
fields, ye may be afther takin' the
words av smarter men than aither aV
is that yell be investin' it where ths
av it will show an
honest answer So if We have
'oonch av money, Mr.. McGonigal,
md will invest $4,000 in this year
" Grace 1913 and are not aftller
Dein' afraid av the tax assessor in
9lS, it's the thrue multiplication av
Give by tin ard av fifty by tin and
" $4,000 by $4,000 ye can be
howin and at the same time be aftra
ettin other good and honest oil grab
ers and land grafters into the game
Men who'll spind their money in
he good old town av rrdmorc
nd make it into city av thirty
housand souls, including the saved
nd the lost, and not a haadquarth
rs for the Annanias cloobs ay the
tandard oil companies av all breeds
nd names. Well, must he gain Mr..
IcGonigal, so afther joinin' ye in
Oople av megium sized drinks, TAX
y mine from the bottle direct, as
learnt whin was kid-only twas
OF a bottle | patronized thin, but
le legitimate founts av nature-PH