Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1913-12-22
PECULIAR CLIENTS
cranks With Whom Lawyers
Sometimes Have to Deal.

What is the most peculiar case that
| has ever been brought to you by
| prospective client?" was the question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the ablest lawyers in New York.
The lawyer said that probably the
oldest client who had ever visited him
was a woman about forty years old,
who wanted to bring suit against one
of the Sunday newspapers for not hav-
! ing printed an account of her latest
social function on its society page.
as she had particularly requested over
the telephone.
AS the second oldest client. he cited
the case of another woman who had
come to him in tears and sought to Ell,
list his legal aid in making her hus-
band stop flirting. The woman as
sured me that she loved her husband
and that she knew her husband loved
her, but that he had habit of wink
ing at every good looking woman he
saw" said the lawyer. when l told
her there was no legal redress for her,
inasmuch as she said l was a fool If
even thought she or her husband want
ed divorce. she exclaimed that l was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
OF and left my office in n rage"
The same question was put to sever
al other lawyers and an unbelievably
peculiar assortment of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case of
a man who asked him to represent him
for two months at the patent office in
-I.f, r~rtr 70 hnr
stay there and represent me- be said.
But" interposed the attorney. what
in the world do you want me to do
while am there?"
The man drew his chair close to the
lawyers and in low tones told the at
torney that lie had invented an aero
plane clock" as he called it, and that
he wanted him TO 90 to the patent of
Zee and prevent any other inventor
from sneaking in a similar invention
while the authorities are in a careless
mood
The man seemed to be in his normal
senses despite the fact that his highly
priced invention was absolutely moth
ing more than n small watch fastened
I'm leather case, the sort that may be
seen in stores anywhere. When he
had impaired this information the law
yer pointed out that there was moth
ing patenta BILE about his Invention"
There isn't. eh:" shouted the man.
Indeed there is, Who has ever
thought before this of putting a clock
in an airshipE"
The attorney sought to humor him
and said, Wouldn't a watch in the
ayiotpr's DoCEef do aS NeIITr
The man jumped up. That's just
the point he cried. 1T would not do
as well. because it might fall out"
Against such logic the attorney said
he found himself helpless. and he told
the man he feared the case was too
difficult for him to handle.
Another strange client who visited a
patent lawyer wanted TO secure pat
ent on flower clothespin." The lat
ter was an ordinary wooden clOthespin
with little wire point on top. On the
latter fresh flowers might be stuck.
thereby. according 10 the inventor.
giving the clotheslines the appearance
OF flower gardens" He saw a fortune
from the sale OF his pins in cities.
When the lawyer assured him that,
besides the fact that there was more
sendmentality than practicability to
his invention. a pin stuck in the end
OF the wood would serve just as effec-
lively as the invented" piece OF wire. |
the client threatened TO bring suit I,
against him for violation OF conf |
dence"
Another patent lawyer said tnat the !
oldest client who had ever come 70 |
him was a young woman who wanted |
his help in getting a patent, literally. |
on an idea"
what is your idea?" asked the law ,
yer curiously-
The young woman refused 20 tell l
him. saying that she hesitated to di- 4
vulge the nature OF her idea until IL /
had been secured by patent II won't /
trust anybody with =. not even you"
she told the lawyer
Like the famous Anneke Jams heirs
there are numerous strange cases of
so called ancestor clients" TO be had
from the lawyers
One Of the oldest OF these is cited
BY New York lawyer Of wide prac-
tee Not long ago. he says. there
came 10 my Office a woman who insist
FL that she owned the lower part OF
e. Hudson river. having inherited Il