davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Breath Was "out IF pIace.'

Papa took Harry to the country to
visit his grandparents. They lived a
short distance from the village where
the train stopped. Harry insisted on
running as they approached the home
of his grandparents. They had not
gone far, however. until Harry S
breath was coming in short jerks and
he could hardly talk.
''Wait-wait-a-m inute-papa" he
gasped.
Whats the matter, SOM asked the
father
''My-breath-is all out of place,
gasped the little fellow.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

broad day | seemed to see, as il the
sight belonged to some one else, some
one outside myself. l saw the inspec-
tor and constable, both apparently un-
hurt by the shots, dash on in pursuit.
l saw mans figure rise up from the
path. l seemed to hear him call out:
Louise, Louise, where are you? Are
you hurt?"
There was no answer. Almost had
persuaded myself that the strain on
my nerves, the horror of the night
and the shock of the shooting had Civ
en- me a hallucination, that the worn
ans shrek I had heard was but a
phantasm of a fevered brain, when
the figure I had seen rise from the
path, dashed into the thicket, repeat
ing its agonized cry of Louise, Louise
where are you?"
At the sound, life came again into
me. l dashed my revolver to the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
G 38RRs ~!
CLOSE RUB.

The steamed was on the point OF
leaving and the passengers lounged on
she deck and waited for the start. At
length ore Of them espied a cyclist in
the far distance, and it soon became
evident that he was doing his level
best to catch the boat
Already the sailors hands were on
the gangways, and the cyclists chance
looked small, indeed. Then a sport
ing passenger wagered a sovereign to
q shilling that he would miss it. The
offer was taken and at once the deck
became a scene Of wild excitement.
He'll miss it.
No; he'll just do it"
Come on
He won't do it,
Yes, he will. He's done it. Hur-
rah,"
In the very nick Of time the cylist
arrived, sprang of his machine and
ran up the one gangway left
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Start Your Baby
With Sound Health
Regular Bowel Movement from
Childhood on FOresfaHS Future
Serious Diseases


We cannot all start life with the ad-
vantages of money. but every child
born is entitled to the heritage of
good health. Through unfortunate ig-
norance or carelessuess in the feeding
of baby its tiny stomach may be-
come deranged. The disorder spreads
to the bowels and before the mother
realizes it the two chief organs on
which the infants comfort and health
depend are causing it great suffering.
If the condition is allowed to continue
grave ailments often result
There is, however. no occasion for
alarm, and the sensible thing TO do
but it should be done instantly-is to
give the baby small dose Of a mild
laxative tonic. In the opinion of a
great many people, among them such
well-known persons as the parents of
Dixie Dudley. Magnolia, Ark, the
proper remedy is Dr. Caldwells Syrup
Pepsin. Mrs. Earl Dudley writes: Or
Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin is the best
medicine I ever used. 1t cured my
baby of fiatulency collie when the doc
tors failed; it cured my husband of
constipation. My home shall never
be without Syrup Pepsin." 1t is a
pleasant-tasting laxative, which every
person likes. 1t is mild. non-griping
and contains that most excellent of all
digestants, pepsin.
This remedy is especially intended
for infants. children, women, old peo-
pie and all others to whom harsh
cathartics, salt waters, pills, etc, are
distressing. In fact, in the common
disorders of life, such as constipation,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Familiar fo aMike,"

A negro clairvoyant who for some
time masqueraded as Hindoo was
recently visited by collector Mike
O'Conner.
All" smiled the clairvoyant, re
councilman wantz re palm read?'
No" said Mike, re genzelman has
re bill for YOU
When the bill was produced the
palm reader forgot his Hindoo an
cestors and a stream of perfect Eng
lish swear words poured from his
lips.
All" said Mike, smiling, "ze gen
zelman sounds more like re Indiana
avenue zan re Hindoo Indianapolis
News
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

over the bucket of milk he was carry
ing and dropped when he saw me-
Didn't you get him."
He's safe" answered the inspector.
He ran plump over the edge OF a
precipice in the dark. We heard the
thud Of his body on the rocks below.
He must have been instantly killed.
Well get the body in the morning. He
must have fallen two hundred feet"
"A good two hundred" the con-
stable added as Davis turned to peer
in the window of the hut
And inside there" said the inspector
after minutes survey Of the interior,
is the other one, the master criminal
safe enough for the present"
Why" said the constable, who had
followed the inspectors example in
looking through the window, why,
that's Aleck Young"
(TO BE CONTINUED
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

ed and he felt himself again. He says
he has been benefited and blessed by
the use of Dodds Kidney Pills. Sew
eral months later he wrote: | have
not changed my faith in your remedy
since the above statement was author
lied. Correspond with Rev. e. Hes
lop about this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills, Soc per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co,
Buffalo, N Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
cipes for dainty dishes. All sent free.
Adv
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

fire and then pounds it with great
big hammer, which makes the loudest
changing noise and makes the sparks
fly about in every direction. Now, who
can tell me what | have been describ-
ing?"
A little maid who rad listened to
these vivid details with eyes twice
their natural size sprang to her feet
and said in an awed whisper:
THE devil. "-Housekeeper
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
And Then She Said

That's a sad case said Mrs Jones,
as she laid the paper on her knees and
wiped her spectacles. "A bride struck
dumb after leaving the altar, and by
last accounts she hadn't recovered her
speech"
Its the way of the world, my dear
said old Mr.. Jones, with a sigh. TITS
the way of the world Some men have
all the luck"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
\-e Constructed Along Lines of Beau
ty, but for Hard Work They
Are Perfection.

The Yukon sled, while not a thing
&C beauty. is built to stand all kinds
ot Gard wear. or, as the ITishman
said. 1T will last forever, and after
that can be used for firewood The
sled IS about eight feet long, is made
Of any kind of hard wood. lies close
TO the ground, costs from $40 to $14,
and makes a trail sixteen inches in
width. Another pattern is known as
the basket sleigh. and It is to the
Yukon sleigh what thTee-masted
schooner is 20 a coal barge, In length
il is from eight to fifteen feet, is made
Of birch, oak or hickory, cuts a trail
twenty-five inchesan width, costs from
$50 10 5000, is raised a foot or more
from the runners, and, il the best ex-
ampies, is dashed together with raw
hide. The basket sleigh, as its name
implies, is fitted with a basket, into
which the load is placed, and from
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Sounded That Nav.

Miss Brown was giving an elaborate
description Of a blacksmith prepare
tory to teaching Longfellow's poem to
her pupils:
Now children, we are going to
learn a poem today about some one
who works very hard. He is very
large ana has great arms that can
lift such heavy things! His face is
blackened with SCOT that comes from
his great blazing fires. And he wears
dirty black apron and he has a FIRE
that glows, ON. so red. and whenever
he makes anything he put it into his
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
TRY 1T YOURSELF SOMETIME
That's a swell umbrella you carr,

That's a swell umbrella you carry
Isn't it?''
Did you cone by it honestly"
4 haven't quite figured out 1t
started to rain the other day and |
stepped into a doorway to wait till it
stopped. Then / saw a young fellow
coming along with a nice, large UNI
brella, and | thought if he was going
as far as my house l would beg the
shelter of understood. So l stepped
out and asked: Where are you going
with that umbrella, young fellow and
he dropped the umbrella and ran"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

III
liver trouble, indigestion, biliousness.
headaches, and the various other dis
orders of the stomach, liver and bow
els nothing is more suitable than this
mild laXative-tonic. DR. CaldwelIs
Syrup Pepsin.
Two generations of people are using
it today, and thousands of families
keep it constantly in the house, for
every member Of the family can use it.
It can be obtained of any druggist at
fifty cents or one dollar bottle the
latter being the size bought by fami-
lies who already know it's value. Re
suits are always guaranteed or money
will be refunded
II no member of your family has
ever used Syrup Pepsin and you would
like to make a personal trial of it
before buying it in the regular way OF
a druggist, send your address, pos
tai will do-to w. B. Caldwell, AIT
Washington St, Monticello, H.. and a
free sample bottle will be mailed YOU
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Getting Back.

The bald-headed barber: 81 see
premature badness is due to some
trouble with the teeth. according TO g.
Paris physician
The vindictive victim: Well, 1
hope you'll be more careful when you
are cutting my hair than you were
when you were cutting your teeth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
CHAPTER xII-lcontinuedl i.

Wait a minute" said Davis, and
tee constable checked the horse.
Jumping out quickly the inspector
seized the lantern and dropping back
> few PAGES began making what ap-
reared to be a minute examination of
the road.
Taint much of a road" the con
stable whispered to me while We wait
ed It's only used for logging though
when We come up here this afternoon
there was automobile tracks both go
Ing and coming"
Any idea who made them?" I
asked.
Nope, but l guess he knows" with
"a gesture in the direction of the Ian
tern light
lust then Davis rejoined us. hang
ing the lantern over the dashboard
again Instead of resuming his seat
he knelt on the floor of the blackboard
ueering down at the road as it was
dimly revealed by the lantern.
Go ahead slowly he ordered
As Dodds clucked to the horse
leaned down beside Davis and asked:
What did you find?"
lust what I expected The auto
mobile is somewhere ahead of us"
Whose is it?"
Il don't know yet"
My curiosity would be denied no
longer Hitherto I had kept silent,
hoping that Davis would confide in
NE The object Of our strange journey.
Whom are we coming out here aft
or" I asked.
The postmaster and his accOmplice.
ct course"
Who is his aCcomplice?"
TIN afraid | misstated the case -
said Davis with a grim chuckle. The
postmaster is the accomplice. The
other is the master criminal"
Who is the other?" l persisted. is
is Hugh CrandaH?"
He was silent for a moment before
answering. l attributed it to hesita-
ton In admitting that he had been
wrong and l right. and it was with
considerable satisfaction that finally
heard him answer: Il should not be
surprised if We found Crandall some
where in the vicinity"
lie continued to peer down into the
rlad as the horse struggled up the hill
tia we came to a comparatively level
plateau.
Stop here" he called out authori-
tatiyely.
The deserted cottage is at least a
mule farther on. volunteered the con
stable.
Wen walk it" said Davis We
cannot take any chances of the wheels
being heard"
Dodds pulled off the road ard fas-
feued the horse to a tree. Again TAX
Ing the lantern Davis made a search
oT the road, finally returning the Ian
Tern to its place, after carefully extin-
gushing 1t.
Come on this way, as quietly as
YOU cam he directed.
I've got this | said, showing him
tue little pocket electric light with
which l had explored the post office
Do you want it,"
Keep 1t in your pocket. We may
need it, but it is better not 10 show
a light if we can avoid it
put it back in my pocket and took
the preCaution of placing the revolver
Davis had given me in the side-pocket
Of my coat where it would be more
easily available. Davis moved of
s0undlessly through the clearing with
the constable, l close at his heels
This amt the direction of the cot
tage. whispered Dodds.
Il know l want to ind something
else first" Davis explained keeping
straight on through the darkness, like
hound on a fresh scent.
e moved rapidly forward for a hun
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Its Only Purpose.

20 Willie, Willie" cried a teacher
to a hopelessly dull pupil, whatever
do your think your head is for?''
Willie, who evidently thought this an
other of the troublesome questions
that teachers were always asking,
pondered it deeply please, miss, y
he replied at length, ito keep my
collar oni"-Youth's Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Mans Preference.

Miss Lillian Hill, lecturing on eu-
geneies in Cleveland, said:
ct is a good thing for the human
race that beauty counts for more than
intellect when it comes to love- In
tellect too often means nerves-in-
somnia-hypochondria
yes, it Is good thing for the hu-
man race that, as an old maid from
Vassar put it rather bitterly:
Men prefer a well formed girl to
a well informed one"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Cieverness Required.

I'm these days Of high-cost living,
said Representative De Forest, the
sponsor of the bill for pensioning ex-
presidents, I'VE hear OF many queer
economics.
"On a street car the other day, at
the end of discussion on saving and
retrenchment, lady said decisively:
"Oh, any woman can cut her hus-
bands hair; but, believe me, it takes
a clever one to cut 1t so that other
women's husbands will suspect moth
ing"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Different Kind.

Mayor Gaynor of New York was
nee talking about the fondness of
some men for lacking official titles
onto their names
Il once met" he said, "a man who
called himself Judge Green, and
ventured to ask him If he was a Unit
ed States judge or circuit court
Judge. r
I hain't neither he told me; I'm
i Judge of horses'"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Named for General Wadswor+b

Fort WadswoTth in New York bar.
Dor is not named for Capt. Joseph
Wadsworth, but for Gen. James Sam,
uel Wadsworth Of Geneseo, ". z
General Wadsworth raised q regiment
when the Civil war broke out. served
with distinction, and was killed in the
battle of the Wilderness. In his mem.
DRY the name of Fort Tompkins was
changed to Fort WadsWorth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Sleds Used I'm the Yukon

the back of the basket a pair of
handles project, to be used in guiding
the sled on the trail 1t often hap
pens that a Yukon sled will be fitted
with homemade basket, in imitation
of its more aristocratic brother In
very cold weather wooden runners are
best but in ordinary circumstances
steel or brass runners are used
Wide World Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Cattyt

Nan-Esn't it laughable 10 see Miss
Weldon put on youthful airs?
Fan-Gee, yes | heard her com
planning the other day that she
couldn't eat Northern Spy apples be-
cause they set her teeth on edge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
The StranQer.

A stranger knocked at a mans door
and told him of fortune to be made.
'Um,' said the man. 1T appears
that considerable effort viii be in
volved."
"Oh, yes" said the stranger, you
will pass many sleep1ess nights and
toilsome days"
"um, said the, and who are your
Il am called Opportunity"
''Uh,' said the man, you call your
self Opportunity, but you look like
hard work to me-"
And he slammed the door.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
False HOPES,

Poor Bob had a dreadful disap-
pointment last week"
What was it?"
His employer told him he was 60
ing to give him a raise, and when
the poor fellows hopes were raised
to the highest pitch what do you
think the employer dido"
What did he do?"
Invited Bob to take a ride with
him in a captive balloon"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

Are you going to defend yourself
against the charge of grafting?"
Not yet" replied the astute poll
tician, Hyer Rupp. I'm going to find
another system OF graft that L don't
care so much about and see if l can't
sic the investigation onto that"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
An Old Story.

Yeast-Did your wife read the riot
act to you last night?
Crimsonbeak-No
Yeast-Why, you thought she would
when you got in late, didn't you?
Crimson beak-Oh, no: she doesn't
have to read it to me now. She
knows it by heart
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
HOW Ii Happened.

TT is said that the name Of the first
Chinese aviator is F'wZ Yu"
That isn't his name. When he sig
nifed his intention of taking up avia-
lion his friends all hollered: II | was
you I wouldn't and the Chink report
er on the scene thought they were
holIering: sFwz Yu, | wouldn't"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Not In Fathers Footsteps.

Johnny, what are you going to be
when you grow up"
4 dunno yit.'
Don't you think you will want to
be what your father is?"
Nav He never has chance TO
git no raise by refusin TO. sign for
next season"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
No Use.

so you are on your way to propose
to Miss Pickelle?"
You bet, Wish me luck"
"Oh, | wish you luck, all right; but
it won't do you bit of good; | feel
sure she is going to accept youe.%
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Scarce Heard.

What has become of the Flushings
They used to be the big noise in this
town"
oh, they've moved away to a real
city now, where they make about as
much noise as a jewsharp would in a
brass band
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Rather Formal.

Are you on friendly terms. with
your neighbor in the apartments"
We'll, no. She's rather formal
Always sends her card when she
wishes to borrow flour, and If she
wants both flour and sugar she, sends
two cards.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23


ing, was dizzy
and exhausted at
the least eXer-
ton. Hands and
feet were cold
and he had such
a dragging sensa-
ton across the
loins that it was
difficult to move.
After using 5
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

She-Here's a man says women are
not honest.
He-Well, aren't they always rob-
bing men of their peace of mind and
their hearts?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
The Reason.

THAT young couple are not in ear
tieularly good odor with the rich set,
are they?"
How could they be in good odor
when theirs is centless marriagefS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
NO, the almost rich
Her SpecialtY,

ut is queer that the dressmaker you
patronize is so popular
What is queer about it?''
L understand she gives her custom
ers particular fits.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Something Due Elsewhere.

who is that man over there with
such surprised look on his face?"
That is Bilfll's tailor. and he has
just heard Rilfill say that he owes
everything to his wife. "-Browning's
Magazine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Model of Poilteness.

Mrs. x. is as polite as an echo"
AS an echo! What do you mean
by that"
She never fails to return ones
call
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Eternal Feminine,

Mary had a little calf
Twas clad in silken socks;
And to find muddy crossings she'd
Walk blocks and blocks and blocks.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Left Him Out.

George she said sweetly. I'm al
most through housekeeping. But I'm
mp against a terrible problem now"
What's the matter?"
q can't find any place to hang your
clothes
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Behind the Times.

Mrs. Winters is an oId-fashioned
woman"
Yes, indeed She still thinks ca
genics is taboo is good society"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Not His Taste.

Are you interested in contempor-
ary history"
Not much I am more interested
ia what Is going on now
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

Some of the blame for the lies we
tell ought to be charged up TO the
people who ask our candid opinion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
pensations.

1--WE no. complaint to make" said one
Who found few joys along life's way,
But from the law he'd never run
And always had three meals a day
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

It's easier for most men to pray
for forgiveness than it is to, fight
temptation.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Partial Success.

DO you believe in those faith.
cures?"
'Oh, have known some that cured
faith in them"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
A cLERGYMAN'S TESTIMONY.

The Rev Edmund Heslop of Wig
ton, Pa, suffered from Dropsy for
year. His limbs and feet were swol-
len and pulled. He had heart f1utter-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Brutal

The June groom said he'd cherish her,
Love her and never tire;
And now he lies abed and lets
Her rise and build the fire
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
Where ENGAGEMENTS Take. Place.

The eanons of a church are found
In the pulpits," observed the Observer
of Events and Things, but most Of
the fighting is done in the choir
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

Every married man should keep a
stock of ready-made excuses on hand.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23
EXtremeS.

Why is Alexander SO cut up?"
Because his salary has Just been
cut down"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1913-01-23

It's tough on the society bud who
marries a blooming idiot.