davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
HIS USUAL FEE

From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
At the recent homeopathic convention
at the Delaware Water Gap. DIR. August
Korndoerfer, Jr., told story about
brother specialist who is an authority
on the stomach.
BLANK he said, was travelling IN the
west. where they are all great jokers. At
a western country club jovial looking
stranger accoster Blank and said;
.br. Blank, l believer
Yes, sir; thank YOU
The great DR.. Blank9
"sWen er-I-wel yes. l have been
called-er-by that name
The DIR. Blank who treats stomachsg
"'Precisely, sir
Then, DR.. Blank as it's the luncheon
hour and our table d'hote is excellent,
wish you'd treat mine" said the joker.
(sDr. Blanks veins, as we all know. run
rich with generous sporting blood, and
he treated the stranger-an amiable west
ern millionaire as it turned QUITO lunch.
But he got his revenge. Later on In the
afternoon he approached group of men
with roll of small bills in his hand.
Has anybody here he said, got
ten spot?'
THE western joker promptly produced
a $40 note and handed it to Blank. Blank
thanked him. thrust the note in his pocket
and turned away.
.''Look here said the westerner, what
did you want that bill for?'
What did I want it for?' said Blank,
blandiy. Why for treating your stomach,
of course. It's my usual fee
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Solid Business Prosperity

Birmingham is highly prosperous at
this time and there is every promise
that prosperity will continue through
out the year." said ". j. Adams, pres
ident of the Commercial Bank and
trust company. with the large pay
rolls in this district Birmingham could
not be other than prosperous. The pay
rolls are larger than ever and the
demand for labor is greater than ever.
Thrift is the general rule in every di-
rection. 1t is safe to say that no one
has ever seen such general evidences
of business prosperity in this part of
the country we see as today
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
business and rariff Revision

Last fall many business men felt
that the tariff revision, or rather re-
forming the schedules in general COM
pliance with the democratic platform,
would retard prosperity for few
months at least, but it has not turned
out that way said James c. Carley of
Chicago" There Is still great activity
in the industrial field and as for gener-
al trade, it was, perhaps, never better
than 1t is now.
al have had occasion recently to visit
the east 1 found no pessimists but
nearly everyone l met talked most OPP
timistically. In Chicago business con-
ditions are healthy and prosperity
there is pretty good indication of
prosperity in other sections"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
Cabinet Posts Not Attractive

Cabinet gossip fills the land, lead
ing many perhaps to think that the
great. prizes of the period are posi-
tions in, the Presidents official family.
But this is far from the truth. The
salary is $4,000 year, and no man
can meet the social requirements of
a cabinet position on that sum. Social
expenses would simply wreck man
with slender purse, and the work in
the office is burdensome and full Of
routine duties. 1t means work by day
and round of dinners and receptions
by night.
Many Of the best men in the coun-
try will not be content with the glory
that goes with power. The cabinet
minister in this country looms large
in Washington, but not elsewhere in
it. He cannot plan out great policies
as individual members Of foreign cab
inets do, notably those of England,
and he is held to an unending round
of administrative duties with small
prospect of political advancement at
the end of his service. This is, why
many of the best men in the country
want none of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
FROM THE DIARY OF COLUMBUS

FROM the Christian Science Monitor.
I'm order to win the friendship oi
that neople gave some of them
rcd caps and some strings OF grass
heads. which they placed around their
neeks. and with other trihes OF IN
signicant worth which delighted them
and w. which we got wonderful hoia
on their affections. They afterwara
came to the boats of the vessels SWIM
ming. bringing up parrots, cotton
thread in balls, and spears, and many
other things. which they bartered Tor
others we gave them, as glass oeads
and little bells. Finally they received
everything and gave whatever they had
with good will"
Columbus made this entry in his jour-
nal. describing the natives of the Is
land on which he made his first land
ing in the new world. Today It Is
called watIing's Island supposing the
island to be an outpost of the East IN
dies. Columbus called the natives In
dians, name which was afterward
extended to all the races found In the
western hemisphere.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
What you like about a rich man is
maybe you can bet some of it,
The reason woman could always re-
spect princes is they never could them
selves.
There's hardly any man that could
make choice between "a visit to his
wife's relatives and jury duty.
What makes a man so tired from busi-
ness as to have to take a nap after dim
ner is to be home with the family instead
of out with the boys.
The reason a girl wouldn't miss saying
her morning prayers for anything is while
she's saying them is the time she decides
what she's going to wear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
Construction work and the weather

While We have had some rain re-
Gently the winter thus far has been
exceptionally favorable for construe-
ton work. said f. J. Dunn of Dunn
& Lallande, the well known contract
ors. I'VE had fine weather in Decem-
Der and January. The probability is
that We will have favorable weather
conditions between now and spring.
few days of rain makes very little dill
ference with contractors but l always
feel sorry for the men who work for
wages. When they lose day they
cannot make ii up.
The wages are higher in the BIT
mingham district and all over the
country than they have ever been. Day
laborers get from $3.50 to s1.15. When
we look back and recall the low wages
paid in former years the wages paid
now seem high but they are not too
nigh considering the increased cost OIL
living"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
LONGEVITY.


There was am man who had to work
So hard, day after day.
In order to make both ends meet,
He found no time TO play.
He never did take exercise,
lie lost lot of sleep
And often let his feet get wet.
Because his shoes were cheap.
His meals he shoveled in so fast
1t caused profound surprise,
And when he'd gorged himself a while
lie finished off on pies.
He smoked cheroots, bout ten day.
And sometimes even more;
When people said, you'll kill yourself,
He never did get sore.
Year after year this careless man
Kept up his rapid gait:
His reckless habits chung to him
Not one would he abate.
To laws laid down for living long
He lightly gave the lie;
When these were named you might have
seen
twinkle in his eye.
He looked on all the doctors as
A most deceptive crew
And when he shuffled off at last
Ills age was ninety-two.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
Two Great citic.

Birmingham has grown to be a
sreat city," said D. z. Rowsel. super
intendent of the Bell Telephone in At
ianta> Atlanta. as everybody knows,
has been great city for a good many
years, and it continues to go forward
rapidly.
The two cities, Birmin CHAM and At
ianta, will probably keep neck and
neck in the next few years This city
is said to be increasing in popula-
ton at greater rate now than ever
and ] know the same can be said of
Atlanta"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

AMBITIOUS SUE.
Susanna sits
Up late o. nights
To read what L.
J. Libbey writes.
A working girl
Is seldom seen,
Who thinks so much
OF Laura Jean.
And when she goes
Where Gents" are met,
She's right there with
The etiquette.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
SAVING LIFE ON THE SEA
From the New york Sun.

From the New York Sun,
TNHROUGH the bleak February night
a storm was raging up the Atlantic
seaboard. All along the coast the
were out patroliing the
beaches, alert for signs of disaster. Just
before midnight one of them east of
Bellport station. on Long Island, saw
O schooner houndering in the gray spin
drift off shore. 1t was the Benjamin
Cromwell, and as the alarm swept down
the beach the crew of three stations hur-
ried to the scene. Their work was to
take seven men from the rigging of the
wrecked vessel
All efforts through the night and the
forenoon following failed. The wind was
too high Then at noon the schooner's 5
masts, except the foremast, on which all
of the crew except one had taken refuge.
crashed overheard. This man went down
in a welter of wreckage and to those on
shore it seemed that he must surely be
battered to death
Instinotively. the lifesavers moved near
er the edge of the surf. The beach was
fringed with skim ice. sharp and pointed,
that cut through fupoei poo'S s''iu eioei'
ing as il through parchment Helpless
to aid the man whom they knew must be
plunging somewhere out in that angry
water. they huddled together as men will
when lifeless body is about to be cast
up before them.
At this juncture a figure sprang from
among them md, wrapping a line about
his waist, ran to the edge of the surge.
He was Frank Rayner of the Blue Point
station. and he was about to commit
what the other surfnen instinctively told
themselves was suicide.
They watched Rayner as he stood IN the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Mosquitoes are swarming at Gatun.
They are malarial mosquitoes and they
are bred in the swamps created by the
rising of Gatun Lake. Colonel Gorgas
knows how to get rid Of them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
NIGHT

BY Percy Bssshe Shelley
Swiftly walk over the western wave
Spirit Of Night
Out of the misty eastern cave
Where, all the long and lone da light,
Thou wovest dreams of joy and fear
Which make thee terrible and dear
Swift be thy flight.
Wrap thy form In a mantle G<11H ~
Star-inwrought! 2k< .
Blind with thine hair the eyeuI
Kiss her until she is wearie1 3
Then wander o'er city and BY
Touching all with thine opiet Two
Come, l..ng-sought,
When / arose and saw the
l sigh'd for theei M.
When light rode high, and
gone,
And noon lay heavy ON flowl fits
And the weary Day turn'd % X,
Lingering like an unloved
l sigh'd for thee. ~ pus
Thy brother Death came. az
"Wouldst thou me
The sweet child Sleep. the
Murmur'd like a noontide
"Shall / nestle near thy SD
: ! : : !; ! : : : ! : ;
Wouldst thou ne?''r-And
mo, not thee"
-xsir e1
Death will come when tho1
Soon, too soon
Sleep will come when thol:::. -
OF neither would / ask thr l6eH
ask of ~ t~loved Mig 49,
SWIFT pproachir1w wsfnfsnna
~ )on. soou
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The newspaper men who made it point
TO use the word Sabotage" at least daily.
have fallen back on the word 'syndical
ist." A syndicalist is trife worse than
a socialist. and yet he is not quite Black
Handler. The words are not mentioned n
a dictionary. This in fact is why they
are coined and used.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The report that the President-elect's
name is hereafter to be Thomas Woodrow
Wilson,. has not been carried to his own
ears. He knows nothing about 1t. His
name will, continue TO be Woodrow VIII
son -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Senator LaFollette and Senator Root
are both members of the republican leg
islatiye steering committee and yet no two
other men are farther apart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Castro is true cosmopolitan. He Is
at home at Ellis Island or as the guest
of the governor of the Empire State. He
goes from the one to the other with ease
and Dispatch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Some scientist rises up to say that
cheese causes appendicitis. It is easier
to spin theory sometimes than to pro-
duce a demonstration of it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Colonel Roosevelt says william Dean
Howells is the best living writer of fie-
ton, and his productive days are nearly
ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The more an income tax looms up the
faster do incomes drop off. Some are be-
low par already.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
x>Two DOLLAR MURDER

From Leslie's.
Cheap! A degenerate young rowdy in
New York was given 81 for killing a man.
He did not even know the victim BY sight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

He was told where he could find the
marked man. and going to the street mum
ber, called him TO the door, asked him
his name and shot him dead. Then he
got his 50 and drink of whisky for his
awful work and went away satisfied. Is
it possible that the value of human life
is set at only 81? DR.. Alexis Carrel OF
the Rockefeller institute, was awarded
the Nobel prize for making q discovery
in medicine that would tend to save hu-
man life. The world called him great.
Millions are spent each year in protecting
life and still in New York human lite
sells for 81. If the man who was muir
dered had been caught in caved-in mine,
the people would have subscribed lber-
ally for his rescue. But a souiless wretch
takes life for 50. How the baseness ~
one man will discredit the kindness Of =
million! Let the people rule
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The time It will take the sunragette pa
rade to pass a given point depends upon
whether that point is millinery shop or
not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

No more senatorial deadlocks will be re-
ported after the seventeenth amendment
is ratified.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Montreal is soon to have a real inde-
pendent newspaper. 1t has never had one
especially in politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

walker. who had happened along and
overheard the conversation.
3 Chicago Tribune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

A national income tax is already stop
ping the mouths of many braggarts with
small regard for the truth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Ty Cobb has secured $4,000 salary this
season. The man who can bat has the
world at his feet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

A troop of Indian maidens will ride in
The suffragette parade. and they will be
real Indians, too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Housewives in Washington stand dis
mayed when they are asked 81 a pound
for spring lamb. leg of lamb costs from
Sc to IS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The garrulous steam pipes are the
spooks in the modern haunted house.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
HARD TO DO.

HARD ~ DO.
"Blabson has a way of trying to be-
little everything"
I'D like to see him trying to belittle
Culebra Cut"
BOUND TO BE.
His heart
Is light,
Whose liv-
Frs right
THE REASON.
Full many man lies to his wife
Who leads a fairly honest life
And merely practices deceit
Because he's not bold, but discreet.
STUDIES OF THE vERNACUL4AR.
'Sayjen. wossachoogot?'
''Watchamean?"
Youreatinsumpun!'
''Snuthingbutta wadagumkit."
well. canchagimmychunk?"
"Solligot."
Yougotchoorneryet"
"Quiteherfibbini'
"Awcutitout girlsl" warned the floor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Eugenics and the valentine crop have
no relation to or effect upon each other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

The burning question again arises, "Who
will be our Valentine?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

TRUTH AGAIN BEATS FICTION.
The antics of an automobile wheel
which was knocked from a car going at
high rate of speed on the South Side
have put to shame the widest yarns of
Old Opie Dilldock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
WISDOM.

"A bird in the hand is worth as
the BUSH"
The author of that famous ape
had just used it for the first tiins.
1t would be foolish, he continued,
with his mind on millinery, TO attempt
to estimate the comparative value of a
bird on a hat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

whirl of Icy spray awaiting his chance.
He was half naked The cold bit into his
flesh, tortured him. Still the chance held
off. Then it came and Ravner dashed for
ward.
Foot by foot through the roaring tu-
multi of water, OF plunging beams and
timber. lodging the splintered spars thai,
leaping from giant combers, made as il
to pin him, Rayner worked toward the
nan. Finally the wreckage bearing its
stiff, motionles burden was floating near
him. The next instant Rayner vanished
swept under by a tremendous wave.
From the huldled group on shore men
started forward. but Albert Latham, also
of the Blue Point station, was the first
to plunge into the seas. He reached Ray
ner, who, just cresting breaker, snatched
at the sailor, now unconscious. And to-
their man to safety.
Not ten minutes later tie Cromwell
broke in pieces. From shore, the life
savers saw men fall from the rigging
five of them-into the sea. One remained
aboard. Then he went, too. And again
Rayner and Latham plunged into the su.f
The man torn from the mast nearly
drowned them with his struggling. FoR
20 minutes the uneven fight went on hc-.
tween the sailor and the surf on one side.
and the two weakened lifesavers cn the
other. Then a great comber lifted beneath
them and bore all three TO the shore.
For weeks Latham lay abed and Rayner
never performed duty again. Subsequent-
ly commended by Washington. they con-
sidered that honor sufficient.
Such is the typical lifesaver, the man
who patrols the coasts from Bangor to
Galveston; from Seattle TO Los Angeles
He's a part of q wonderful system.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
LARGE CAPACITY

LAFIGE CAPACITY.
New Jersey preacher ate 81 pancakes
at one sitting. a man with an appetite
like that should take up more remunera-
tive work. so he will stand some chance
of keeping his crop full.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

LOVE IS BLIND.
My little girl he called the maid,
Emitting loyesiek sounds;
She tipped the scales when last she
weighed
At most two hundred pounds.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
ANYWHERE.

@A-N L W ii1IAI4,
I'm not averse to singing
The kind that's sweetly done.
But when dame starts sereeel
l simply want to run
And seek swift asylum,
Wherever that may be,
In rearing lanes of traffic,
Or boiler factoree..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12
THE ONLY wAY-To HIM.

HE OSL1 WAY-TO HIM.
A solemn-looking man entered a bust
ness house and, walking up to one OF the
men employed on the lower floor, IN
qrired:
rs there amy ehanst FER mon I get
a job av wur-rk here@'
Il don't know" said the man. You'll
have to see Mr.. Mills"
AN phwere is hep
up on the second floor was the
answer.
Shall I walk up an talk to him2H
No need of that. Just whistle in that
tube and he'll speak to youg-pointing
to the speaking tube.
The man walked over to the tube and
blew mighty blast in it.
Hearing the whistle. Mr.. Mills came to
the tube and inquired:
Whats wanted down the
"'Tis OF, Paddy o'F'lynn. ye Ia
boss?''
Il am" said Mr. Mills.
We'll, thin," yelled Flynn, YAi-
head out av tn second-sthc sfe#.
while OF shteps out on tn SO. =.
want to talk t ye.'-National .5e.I5H
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Entered at the Birmingham Ala-'
postoffice as second class matter uh"ei
act of Congress March 3, 1879
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

z. E. Morgan and W. G. wharton are
the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives of The Age-Heraid In '1s
circulation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. s0'Vo
Daily and Sunday, per month"; ~
Daily and Sunday, three months'' a'Vo w
Sunday Age Herald ............' Apo
Weekly Herald, per annum'- ~
Subscription payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-12

E. ". BARRprr. Editor
The day book., 1913-02-12

ness in the world" he declared
enthusiastically, and 1 am sure
a good friend of mine" "
'Nevef doubt that, Rolfe, said
Vera. But when you come to
talk about becoming engaged
why, think of a romping cut-up,
as everybody calls me, trying to
pose as the dignifed wife of DR..
Rolfe Irwin. 1t would shock
everybody. Besides, dear" and
her voice was as tender as it was
honest, with your career Just
commenced, I would be a drag on
you. Not that I wouldn't share a
crust of hard bread with the man
1 loved, but I am very proud of
you, and I don't want to hinder
you from making your mark in
the world"
Doctor Irwin bestowed a fond
look upon the little child-woman
who was the dearest being in the
universe to him. He bade her
goodbye, not at all gloomily, and
started for his office. Vera stood
following him with her eyes, a de-
mure and thoughtful look on her
usually smiling face.
Poor boy" she said, and then
she added: Il love him! I love
himP and her face vieing with
the red, red roses along the gar
den path, she ran down it, burst
ing into happy song.
Vera had called herself "a cut
up" The young men of the town
designated her as "a darling,
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1913-06-27
POWNAl

John d. Thomas is home from his
studies in the U. V. NJ. medical de-
partment.
A. B. Gardner is again able to be
out in the auto for the first time in
two months.
There was a large attendance at
the Baptist supper Tuesday evening
about SS5 being taken in.
VIM M. Chamberlain of Benning-
ton has moved on to the Estes farm
on Mason Hill which he has pur-
chased.
Miss Margaret Colwell will gradu-
ate Thursday evening from the
Drury High school. She is about
the youngest member of her class.
A. G. Parker was in Schenectady
~ Y, Saturday playing tennis with
the North Adams c. c. against the
Schenectady Boat club. He lost his
match in both singles and doubles
The musical association of the
Methodist church has secured the
reproduction of the two-act farce, "a
Bob of Monkeys" by North Adams
talent in the church annex OF
Tuesday evening July LIST.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1913-06-27
To Clean Valuable Glass.

One can never be careful enough In
cleaning valuable objects dart of all
kinds, says the Pail Mall Gazette.
Many exquisite pieces have been en-
tirely spoiled through cleaning being
accomplished unintelligently. Old glass
counts among the most precious of
possessions, and for its cleaning chem
icals must never he used. because they
remove that dull blush gloss which is
always characteristic of antique
specimens and is point highly priced
by connoisseurs. If cleaning really
becomes necessary use powdered egg
shells These must be ground very
fine, with no gritty pieces remaining to
scratch the glass. Mix with tepid wa
ter into a thin paste and with this rub
the glass. rinse with clear water after
ward and dry with soft leather. This
is the only really reliable way of clean
ing valuable glass and Is a method
carefully followed by collectors.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1913-06-27
A War Trick of the Great Hannibal.

A War Trick Of the Great Hannibal.
When Hannibal, the great Cartha.
ginian, was fighting Eumenes of Per.
gamos with fleet of very inferior
strength he hit upon an artifice which
would scarcely be sanctioned by the
laws of what we are pleased to call
civilized warfare. He discovered by
means Of bogus message under a flag
of truce on which ship the king was.
lie then caused poisonous snakes to be
inclosed in earthen Jars. These he dis
tributed among several ships and or
dered them to vose up on the kings
galley. In the melee that followed
the jars were flung unto the deck. The
curious bombs were greeted at first
with ridicule, which soon changed to
panic when the nature of their contents
made itself manifest The galley was
extricated from the fight as soon as
possible, and the captains of the others,
believing that the king had taken flight,
followed suit. with the result that Han
nibal gained a complete victory.