The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-28

YOU AND YOUR WIFE.
Too Close Associations.
.
(By Graham Hood.)

There is always danger in extremes.
and this law applies to the affairs of
married life as truly as it does to our
several habits M interests. Even in
the case of husband and wife there
is a peril in too close association.
There is a delight to be found in their
chumship which exists in no other re-
lation in life, vet it is necessary that
they should exercise a measure Of
common sense even in the enjoyment
of these pleasures. When a man finds
more real joy in his wife's compan-
ionship than he does in that of others
when he derives genuine pleasure III
dining out with her-when he prefers
to make her his associate in his little
with some other "chum'-the foun-
dation of their happiness is laid So
firmly that there is small danger that
serious disaster will ever overthrow
the structure.
When a man and woman who have
married fall short of becoming chums.
the fault is usually that of the hus-
band. Occasionally, it is true, there
are women who become SO e%ngrossed
that they feel that they have no time
to devote to the small %frivolities OF
life. In most instances, however, the
wife would be only too ready to par
,icipate in her husbands pleasures
were he to show a disposition to de-
sire her company. And this is the
spirit hat she should display. The
the part of the husband should be
promoted n cultivated most assidu-
ously, for there is more safety than
We sometimes suspect in an intimacy
Of interests hat extends beyond the
four walls of the home. Instead of
permitting her own cares and respon-
sibilities from lettering her from ac-
cepting his invitations. therefore. she
should endeavor to make her W
plans subordinate to his program, and,
during the time when they are out
together. she should also spare no
effort in making the hours pass as
enjoyably as possible. 1t is only by
avoiding every note that may be sug-
gestive Of discord that she ran in
spire him with an earnest desire to
repeat the experiment.
Attractive as all this may seem,
however. there is another side to the
picture-a danger hat this compan-
ionship may come OF play so vital a
part in the mind Of the two tina the
chumship may degenerate into a gall
ing system of espionage. Love con-
fers many rights-rights tina are in
tuitively recognized and graciously
accepted by both-but the right Ia
dictate the life Of the other is not one
of them.
When the companionship between
husband and wife is SO genuine tina,
they instinctirely become chums there
is much happiness in store for them
but let either become too exacting-
let either assert the right to the COM
paniOnship of the other to the ex.
%c'nsion Of. all other interests and asso.
c!ates-and the end to happiness is AZ
certain as the succession of day anG
night. Because the husband enjoys
going about with the wife. she has
no right to insist that she be his com.
paniOn on all occasions or expect hin
to decline all invitations where sh.
cannot accompany him. IL the wife
is willing to play the "chum" for hel
husband when he desires 1t, he should
be grateful for her company, but HI
should not wish her to throw all othel
interests overheard hat she may liv.
her life more exclusively with him.
A o that demands this sacrifc.
may be sincere. but II ia too one-sIde6
too selfish to be productive OF happi.
ness for either. Life. n 1t is to b.
lived successfully, must have it's meas
IRE Of freedom, mt n dictator pre-
supposes a s~ubservience that is little
short of servitude. Where such /:
condition exists there may be a gem
blance Of peace, but 1t liz like the still
ness that precedes a thunder storm
Eredictive of a gathering tempest tina
may leave ruin in it's wake.