New-York tribune., 1913-11-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Duane and Chambers streets express. which
derives its power OF locomoton from the horses lett
over from the Roman chariot races, has added an
other novelty.
Duane street, between Centre and Broadway, is
Gug up for about twenty feet Before the car
reaches the hole the snappy steeds unhitched
and laborers push the car the gap. Then. the
.o-callcd horses again hitchcd. the passengers.
glrhng with relief, sit back TO while away the re-
naming hours before the reaches West street.
Did you say she was one Of your prominent suf-
fragettes?"
THAT hi did, sir. Would you believe hit. sir
that woman as starved erself h'out Of lyle four
timoS?'-Detroit Free Press.
TURKEY.
Who fails to feel that gratitude is stirred
ON the appearance of this noble bird,
The very largest that he can afford
With cranberry sauce upon his festal board;
And who, again. is not depressed and blue,
Ere the last morscl disappears as stew:
II we are thankful when it is begun.
How much more arc We thankful when it's done.
q. b. VI.
ycur?' asked one statesman.
no I've got to stay in Washington and keep
busy burning my bridges behind me. washington
Star.
\ German tourist writing to Boston paper from
New York last summer said: New Yorks memo
rails to Henry Clay. William II. Seward. Sun Cox
eicJ and Abraham Lincoln are monstrositics and
have been placed in class alone. which is known
here as pants statues calling attention to this
criticism a correspondent writes: Professor Gus
tdv Eh,rlcin has succeeded In producing pants
statue which the scvcres critic must pronounce ar
tstic II is that Of the late Count Adolf Gotten
', hich was recently unveiled at Hamburg. The lower
limbs Of the noble seated figure clothed conycn-
tonaily but the anatomical effect ls destroyed
and the work despite its composition. will never be
placed in the pants statue class"
Father" said tho small boy, what is a monop-
oly?"
cases a good business that excites your resentment
because somebody else it hrst"-Washlngton
star
A man who became wealthy by sudden windfa
Of fortune decided to go back to his college town
and settle up some Of the debts he had left there
many years ago. First Of all, he went to tailor
shop The clerk looked through a book labelled
Good" hut the name was not there. Il have an
other book marked SLOW" said the clerk, but
again the account Was not to be found. 'WeI,'
said the taors assistant rather apoogetcally
there is still another account book. which we label
Bad The rich man nodded his head. TT might
be there" he admitted. search, however, proved
frutless. with clear conscience. the man started
down the street. lie had gone only few yards
when the clerk tapped him on the shoulder. Come
back he cried. Why" said the man, you looked
through your books labelled Good. SLOW and Bad
and my name was not there" But interrupted the
clerk, Il found you in a fourth book It's labelled
Hopeless"
What is deafness" is the question that is taxing
the gray matter of a Canadian justice. Very simple
very simple, as for example: .
Party Of the first part-Isnt IT your turn to buy!
No response from the party OF the second part
Buffalo Express.
a noted physician the other day was called upon
t. examine the heart action Of college classmates
Gon.
You've got tobacco heart. guess" said the physi-
clan.
But, doctor, l haven't"--protesed the young
man
Go way now: I'm busy"
Later the father met the physician and told
Linn that his boy hadn't smoked for four years.
'We, then" said the physician, the boy must be
in love-"
"Tve told my boy to study law"
What for? Aren't there lawyers enough as it is?"
1T But by the time he graduates he
Detroit Free Press.