The daily banner. (Cambridge, Md.) 1897-2008, 1913-06-09
The
Ad. Writer
suCscAR cox

NSh9r9, and asked Tor the memDer OF
the drm who attended to the advertis-
Rg.
There isn't any such man." was the
reply. "We don't advertise. I'm the
head of the firm"
Don't advertiser" exclaimed the
caller, with real or feigned astonishe
ment How do you get business
without advertisingT u
I'VE use solicitors"
"And find them valuable7"
"Yes, we do-sometimes." sf
Suppose can prove to you that you
could sell several times as many OF a
certain. book by advertising as through
your soncitors?"
''In that case you would make q reg
ular customer of US. But I've paid for
too many experiments In advertising
already. 1 don't care to spend any
thing more in that line"
"Rut suppose the experiment costs
you nething?'
You can experiment all you like on
that basis
Every good. What book win you let
me experiment on?"
"We have just issued Perkins s.
Young's Handy Cyclopedia. You can
try your experiment on that If you
like"
The young man thanked Mr.. Per
kins for the order with as much i'm
pressment as If he were ito be paid q
thousand dollars for it and withdrew.
One morning a week later the pub
Usher on entering his office noticed
that his mail was unusually large. Be
ginning at the top Of a pile foot high,
he took down an envelope, opened it
and drew out a letter towhich was
pinned an advertisement cut from a
newspaper. He began to read the let.
ter. which was as follows:
/ have read with astonishment the in
closed notice Of your Handy Cyclopedia.
What must the books be that are adver-
tised with so much Ignorance?
This Is the ad.:
Our Handy Cyclopedia Is now ready. In
its makeup we have employed writers
with first class regulations in the subjects
on which they write. Admiral Peary
writes the article on the south pole, Sir
Ernest Shackleton the one on the north
pole. That the work Is up to date Is evil
dent from the fact that the article on
war Is by Charles Dickens and that on
the worlds navies by Alfred Tennyson'
The letter continued as follows:
What unblushing impudence in a pub
Usher to get out a cyclopedia containing
such abomnable blunders! Inquiry VIII
d. so cd N
write about the north instead OF the south
pole and Sir Ernest Shackleton about the
south instead Of the north pole. To prove
your work up to date you say that Charies
Dickens wrote the article on War and All
fred -sTcn5lye0n $s1ats tssssss-< 3x1oAz
any chronological table win inform you
that both these gentlemen died during the
last century. am curious to know wnat
you mean by announcing articles by these
men. who shone In a different field from
that Of the army or navy. Please send
me q copy Of tho work for inspection II
there Is something wrong with your ad-
yertisement and ! find the work satisfac-
tory l will order set, being chairman
Of the committee on purchasing books for
our university library.
Three-quarters of the letters consti-
tuting the pile before Mr.. Perkins were
from persons calling his attention to
the blunders contained in his adver-
tisement. Some were facetious, some
ironical and some abusive. Nearly all
contained an element Of curiosity, es-
pecially those from persons who took
the ground that there had been some
mistake. In one Of the letters the
writer said: "Giye me the name Of that
ignoramus who wrote the ad. for your
cyclopedia. want him."
When Mr.. Perkins had gone through
the letters commenting on his ad. he
divided them into piles, the largest
pile being from professors and school
teachers, the next largest pile from
librarians, then professional men, with
q very large number scattering. There
were 1872 from persons who either gave
q definite order to send the work or
hinted that they would like to see
4 cyclopedia with "such funny blum
ders" in it. There were twenty-five
orders from persons, conditional on Its
being q humorous work, and great
many suggestions that 1t be given
some such title as the Amusing Cyclic
pedia.
When Mr.. Perkins had turned over
the orders to the proper person he LOOK
ed for the card the solicitor had hand
ed him, finding it in drawer OF his
desk, There being telephone mum
ber on the card, he called up the young
man, asked him II 1t would be con-
venient for him to call, and In ten
minutes the advertisement writer was
In his Office.
81 suppose" said the publisher,
that you wrote that ad. Of our cy
clopedia without looking up any infor
nation. You certainly couldn't have
written 1t from the work itself. It's
pity you hadn't received an educa
ton. You wouldn't have had to blum
der into a good thing. What kind OF
an education did you get anyway"
I'm a graduate of Princeton"
1.-The dickens you say! What's that
old fashioned key you wear on your
watch chain?"
That's the badge of the Phi Beta
Kappa. an honorary society composed
of the best scholars Of each gradual
ing class"
"Oh. 1t is, Ell? Well. you go over
there and hang up your hat and coat
I want you What's your price a yeai
for writing ads. p
give thousand dollars"
as that allf Well, after you've
hung up your Goa, and hat come back
here end I'll pay you your drst weeks
salary In advance"