davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
THIS& THAT
THE WAY OF THE WORLD.

IdE WAY OF ldE WOkLU.
When I manage to spring some ingen-
i-ous thing .--
That I think is especially fine.
j wait all of the day for somebody to
say,
He thought WELL Of that effort of
mine.
For a number of days I keep track of
the praise
That I get for some Glorious Thought;
keep vigilant count. and the total
amount
Is exactly and perfectly naught.
But when I penandink something else,
which I think
Is pathetic and cherries and sad
That has no germ Of wit or Of humor
in it.
And is simply and utterly bad
When 1 do. 1 repeat, some atrocious
conceit
That is indubitably The Worst
It's ten-to-one bet that the praise that
Is the same as got for the first.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
Saved S5.94.

n 4 r FOSEY was out walking
" with his wife yesterday
F morning. After doing a
couple of errands in the
vicinity OF the Statler he inquired where
she was going next.
Il must go to the Colonial. Arcade
now" she said
Mr.. Foxey stepped to the curb and
signaled a car
why. you silly thingi' exclaimed
Mrs. F. We don't need a car to go
that little way. I'd rather walk
And I'd rather you'd ride he
answered firmly 1T only costs 9 cents
To ride and II would cost s.; and waste
Two hours to VIZ X through tie liae of
sh0p: between here and there. Hop
oni"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

And it happened that at s: 40 on the
afternoon of a day In September, the
uotc of the Senate having been ~ For
and but 81 A oainst, that the Cost Of Liz
ing Staggered and ioas Like to Fall But
in short time it toas seen partially to
Regain its Composure. smile ioanly aud
Continue on its Way. And at the offices
of the Great Trusts, tohere the People
made Inquiry, 1t t1as said that It .ronld
probably Bear Up under the BIoto.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

handily, nominating DR.. Eugene JONES' of Kensing-
ton for State Senator. That was the real crux Of
the Montgomery fight which has seldom been sur
passed for bitterness. The people simply decided
on the broad merits, as between the reactionary
machine and the progressive sentiment of the newer
elements in the party.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

After a glance at the opinions Of a
dozen prominent gentlemen on the
Maine election. we gather that it was Id
a sense a victory for all parties. and.
though 1t indicates that the country
is absolutely opposed to the policies Of
the Democratic party. 1t is In no sense
a rebuke to the National Administra-
ton. +.,r>... ........ -,
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Il am mortified to think" said Mrs.
George Howe, re-anent Miss Wilson and
the upper berth, that there was not
one gentleman or a Democrat on that
train with lower berth at his dis
posal." Which leads II. c. B., who
probably is a Republican. to endeavor
some caustic comment.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

When Mrs Pankhurst lands,'' We
lamp, Immigration inspectors will ask
| her questions regarding her past life"
| Add Personal Friends: Past life"
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
Good Stories
Our French.

&sVX7HERE. a,d p,,.e;., you Learn Learn
Wv New York woman
From a native was
the proud reply.
'.Ah1'. said the Frenchwoman- "A ma
ti.e CT whatr'-ChicaSo Record-Herald
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Double-headers and the difficulty of
recording them on a single score-card
suggest the advisability Of a system Of
double-entry scoring. if some genius will
kindly come through with one.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
And Where Did You Awake?

Sir: Catcher Carisch crossed the fiel6
yesterday and Friend Lady queried:
Hasn't he a fine bearing?" Yes" /
answered. he Carisch himself we'll
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
What's on the Program IN
Washington Today

Meetings. evening:
Masonic-Ning Solomon Lodge. No. 81;
school of instruction. East Gate. No.
"a; school o! instruction, Royal Arch
Chapters; Washington Commandery.
No. 1, Knights Templar. monthly
meeting board of trustees, 81. Johns
Mite Association: Naomi Chapter. No.
g. and Br,okland. No. II. Order Of the
: Eastern Star.
, National Jn'on-Postoffice Department
Council. Flynn's Hall: Interior Coun-
Gil. Pythian Temple.
Red Men-SelteSe Tribe. No. 1S. 304 B
street southeast; White Eagle Council
No. I. Fifth ard 9 streets northwest.
No. 5: HernIione. No. IL; Union. No
%. and Columbia. No. IS: Washington
Company. No. I. Uniform Rank;
Friendship Temple. No. 9. Pythian
Sisters.
Odd Fellows-Eastern Lodge. No Z:
Harmony. No. .: Federal City. No.. 20.
and Friendship, No. IL: Columbian
Encampment, No. I.
Meeting of the Anacostia Citizens As
sociition. evening:
Council of the United States. I'M
proved Order Of Red Men and visiting
Pocahontas.
Outing for two days of Chamber of
Commerce and Retail Merchants As
Pastoral production of The Old Yer
monr Farm" under auspices of the
sunshine Club. for the benefit Of tho
Citizens Belmont Rescue Fund. Bel
mont, evening.
Mass meeting Of the Confederation of
Patriotic Societies of the District.
Chesapeake Beach.
Competitive test of West Point appii-
cants. Franklin School. 10 a. m.
Meeting Of Unity Council, No. 2, inde-
penCent Order Sons of Jonadab,
Eighth and streets northeast. p. M
Baseball - Washington Vs. Cleveland.
American League Park. $50 p. m.
Amusementa
Columbia-"A Rolling Stone" Sis p. N.
Polis-"Under Southern Skies" 2:15 and
Aeademy-"The LittIest Rebel" 2:Is and
sis u. m. ra
Keith's-Eddie Foy and vaudeville. ais
and Sis p. m.
Naturalization pictures. Sis and Sis
d. m.
Cosmos-Vaudeville.
Casino-Vaudeville.
Gayety-.'The Gayety Girls" e:i5 and
Sis p m-,
Chevy Chase Lake-Music By Marine
BaAA
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Fracturing for the nonce our resolu-
ton to overlook the Thaw case. 1t occurs
that the attorneys for one side are
almost as poor sports as those for the
other, IL not worse.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

The Cleveland battery for the wind
up of both games was James 20 Neil.
Count of Monte Cristo please write.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

The next time you're hard up for a
last paragraph. pens o. NJ. l.. D..
you might mention the lastparagraphy
fact that Charles Foot is a Union Hill.
N j., chiropodist."
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

The Maine election serves also as. a
Of the Intrepidity Club. Readers. Sena-
tor James. If 1t had not been for the
fact that some Of the Democrats de-
serted to the Republicans" qualities the
Senator. the outcome might have been
different"
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Bromidion for the clever-to be spoken
when food is served piping hot: Il
guess that must have been on the fire. -
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
Royal Tattooing.

ING GEORGE Of England is tat
H tooed. When he was Duke OF
N York he had come elaborate
Japanese designs pricked on
his arms and chest. and personally he
used to take great pride In the ex-
cellence of these skin pictures. But
Queen Mary dislikes .tatooing. and II
is because of her pieadings that King
George has Just cautioned the Prince
Of Wales not to walk in his fathers
footsteps. us far as tattooinS is con-
cerned. It liz a curious coincidence
that the Car. who bears such n re-
semblance to King George, that he MAJ
b.: j. scribed as his double was tat
tooed with similar designs bc the same
artist who tattooed King George.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
The Very English Language.

monthlai Kossttomer........... 81. 70
one Waitt Pants drai Clint. so
Balns ...................$2 81 90
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Not that there aren't an. number O
things We could close with today
understand US
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
TO UMPIRE EGAN.

'Tuirt your pronouneis0 "balI" and
"strike"
The difference Is small:
The former listens like the last,
The latter like ball.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
SOME DRAWN OUT CARD GAME

On the evening Of September big Tim
played cards with his guards TIL after mid
night. Two OF them fell asleep and the
third followed suit about O'Clock.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10
NOT KNOCKING THB LAKE.

From the POST
All goods things must come TO an end like
wise Chevy Chase Lakes season will close
Saturday. September I3 The dancing an
Marine Band concerts will continue every
night during this week
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Ceiling Falls, But Bryan Was Alb
sent."-The Herald
Tough.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

Bu: Charles Foot Is a Union Hill.
j.. chiropodist.
The Washington times., 1913-09-10

FAMILIAR PHRASES.
VII.
Scion Of a well-known family.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
TO EDIT A NEWSPAPER

Dr. Talmage, one Of the greatest
public orators, in one OF his sermons
en- the Spirit Of the Press" said:
ITO publis! newspaper requires
the skill, the precision. the boldnesS,
the vigilance, the stragegy OF com.
1nander in CHIEF. To edit a newspap.
or requires that one be statesman,
an essayslst. a geographer, a stats;
ticIan, ard an ecqulsIton, epclyclope'
dlac. To man, 10 govern, to proGel a
newspaper until 1t shall become fix.
ed Institution, a national fact, demands
more qualities than 6ny other bust
ness on earth. If you feel like start.
ing Il newspaper. secular or religious,
understand that you are being threat.
cned with softening Of the brain sor
lunacy throwing your poCketbook into
your wlre's lap start for some insane
asylum before you do something des.
perate,
First OF all, newspapers make
multitude. The public library is a hay.
NOW so high up that few can reach
1t willie the newspaper throws down
the forage to our feet. Public librarI'
es are the reservoirs where tue great
floods are storedshishlap3a1ti away off
lThe'Tsne,Eepspe di5ythe tunnel that
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
$ HOURS IN A Mu0-HoLE

The manager Of the Charleston
Taxicab Co. was two days going from
Charleston to HurriCan. Five hours
of this time was spent in one mud
hole. This - the situation all ove'
West Viraiuja. II We had ~ :eAts an
hour for all the hours al MS have lost
IN mud lJIes in West Virginia in the
last 81 :pars, we wonlG n reed Il
rcul issue q Ten Million Iic!'arS 70
bufld good roads in this State.
Today: we call attention 10 an inter
view published on this page on the
question Of making national system
of good roads. This writer says that
road through a district is 4 good
thing, one through county, some
better, through State still better,
but that Il national system would be
the best, lie is entirely right. Good
roads which connect with mud holes
WneTe ledltlS iIIu duNuLlou'LSS az "S'"
IN for five hours at Il time will not aC'
complsh the most good
The road problem is The most ser'
GUS one now confronting The State Of
West Virginia. II person wants to
70 from Huntington to Wreeling or
Pittsburgh with an automobile or
team, the first thing he would DO
would DO 10 cross the Ohio river into
Ohio. where the roads are good. II
We want people to travel through this
State our roads must be kept passablG
and rs good as those Of our neighbor.
ing States.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
/. LUKE @eEuKE2S SAYS

Some OF OF the g.r.s IN the short hob
bles will never get arrest for being
without visible means ofysppport. u.
The Devil must fly away With tle
had people when they die. You can
read every headstonc " in any grave
yard and you won't fluid any Of them
buried there
The reason slender Princess sits
on the floor to put on her shoes and
stockings is because she knows si'e
won't be able 10 do It when she gets
married and grows lat. 7t-
If you are picking one out you might
as we'll marry big plump, comfy girl
You are getting something for your
money and the plump ones don't eat
half as much as the thin ones. They
are scared 10. x.
When a girl goes out on "a windy
| day in a thin skirt and no petticoats
lyou can get an idea Of her shape when
lie wind blows in her face. But when
she turns her back to the breeze you
cun tell just how she would look IN
Tights. nr' IS r. .
1t would be all right to tell a gil
That you would like to see more of her,
but they are wearing so little nov.
ddays that an expression of this kim
Is liable to be misconstrued. ~,
What has become, of the old'fash-
loned2 girl who used to get soused on
Mamie Taylors?
Why is It that most OF the men VINO
have major league bank rolls also
have bush league etiquette? Z
Once in a while society matron
will admit that she would Ike to have
d baby because it would be good com.
many for darling Fido, who is lone
some because he has no dog friends
10 play with. /.
Few women are so broad-mindeRd
that they cant pull a hobble skirt
over their heads.
Every now and then you meet man
who is sore because he wasn't born =
jackass and who spends his whole life
trying to correct the mistake. qs
some women who are TOO big to sit
down in !, bathtub have daughters
who could slide down the drainpipe'
Leg" used to be considered an I'M
modest word. But how are you 60
ing to dodge a fact that is always star
Ing you in the face?-Enquirer'
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

but it is Of infinitely more value when
! it extends from state to state, across
the continent.
/ # had my way about 1t would
build great National system OF
roads leading from our National Cap
ita to the capitol of every state i'll
the union. would stand behind that
proposition until II went out through
the country AS the system we are in
favor Of.
."Somo say thai would bankrupt
the government. Have you ever stop
ped to think what 1t would cost? Prob
ably $4,000 miles Of road will build a
trunk line through every capital OF
every state of the union. Put It at the
highest possible figure. to build the
best road thatmodern engineering has
DEVISED. making the average $4,000
per mile. The western half Of these
roads cost whole lot less than the
eastern half. Eighteen thousand miles
multiplied by $4,000 makes what? 216
O0O,OO0. We have spent millions OF
dollars on the improvement Of rivers
and harbors. and millions Of dollars
upon the improvement OF the Panama
Canal. 1t doesn't take a life time to
accomplish big thing nowadays. With
in five years this whole country
ought to be gridrOned with National
roads. After carrying out our plan
Of these National highways, let the
states and counties build and MAINTAIN
their own roads connecting with the
National system; and then we will
have roads that art worth while and
there will be no conflict Of authority
anywhere.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
THE REDFERN coRsETs
Our New Arrival.

The woman who regards her
figure beauty and style as import.
ant must choose between one of
the two notes - either she must
dress with strict adherence to
present style or according to her
own individual taste. In either
case the Redfern will win instant
favor with its patrons.
Although we had what is Justly
considered the best and most com
plete Corset Department in the
city because Of the quality and
variety of the models shown, we
thought the Redfern possessed
more than the usual Corset merit,
so we added it to our list of favor
lite models.
Your Inspection Is Invited.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
II!.iliJIteaVew Millinery

The rare beauty Of the new creations now
on display in our Millinery department will
compel and h old the attention Of every discrin1-
mating WON an who visits this department.
For the greater part, they are the handiwork
( 81 our own artists faithful portrayals Of the
Fashion Wor Ids greatest creations. Because
III the style notes which we daily receive, our
4 showing here is always far in advance Of 9th
ers lust as our prices are known to be the low
\ estsfor quality Millinery.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
miner IS more potent. Because the
lilItIdb as not rIlls i

pener s more pQtent. Because me
lliititud 40 not he il
hi necessary Superficial, Il man
should from childhood toiold age see
only his Bible, Webster,s Die ionarg
+pnd, his newspaper, he could pc pre-.
pared for al.the duties ot this life
and all the happiness 81 the next.
There is, not a single doctrine Of
theology but has been discussed in
The last ten years by the secular news
rapers OF the country. They gathefSup
all the news of all the earth bearing
on religious subjects and then they
scatter theneRs abroad again The
Christian newspaper will be the right
wing Of the apocalypticoapgeg The
ISylander Of the gbflstIqaised print,
Eink press.Sil be thesfv0HtSWheel of the
Lords chariot. rA=Ye* 'PsHa IpslIpend-
ence.. h. : is1S'tt.....,Js !,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
lsa y %
National System Of Roads

\ Roads, that go somewhere" is an
expression, which Is being heard inces.
sanity in connection With the country
wide attenttontto the improvement Of
:thefA highways. Judge j. NJ. Lowe, pre-.
1sldent of the National Old Trails
pcean=to ocean Road, terseIy summed
up the matter in these words:
"a road extending across town.
Ship of course has value; It has in
creased valne whom it goes across u
county; il has considerably Increased
value when ,it.extcnds across a state:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

brings them: down1to the pitchers Of
all the people. The chjsl use of great
libraries is to make newspapers out
OF. Great libraries make a few men
ana women very wise. Newspaper
lift whole nations into tho sunlight.
you cannot tihd ten literary men
III ChrIstendom with strong minds and
great hearts but are or have been
somewhat connected with the news
paper printing press while the book
VIII always have it's place, the news
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
First Authoritative Showing Of the Summer Styles
4 complete Assembzage550f New things for Summer
The Mewz Dresses

When the designer BET to work upon these
airy, fairy creations his mind must have been
upon the mercury when it begins philandering
into the 11ineties - they'r summary in every
detail rich in trimmings of the daintiest sort
imaginable and touched with the exquisite bits
of master style artists. There's complete
showing here Of Dresses for present wear and
the models for the between season are fetch!
ingly styled to meet with the approval Of all
well dressers.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

II there was no other good reason
for organizing an editorial association,
the necessity for the newspapers to
get behind q Statewide good roads
movement would be reason enough:
We believe that II any considerable
number of the newspapers of the
State would express themselves in
favor OF a movement OF this kind, that
Gov. Hatfield would open up the way
Tor the consideration at teast1of' this
question at the special session Of the
Legislature, which Is said, to be on
the program for sometime. in May
- .,r',. .sss'a '''.Fr a.s--s..-t,s
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

We rather expected this cold wave
when they commenced to take EN- off
so soon. 1t never fails. Putting on
the straw hats. loo, might have had
something to do with it. '.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

Tile Huntington Herald. Dispatcll re-.
marks that only one Democratic pa.
per. and that Is the Wayne News, has
endorsed the plan OF organizing non-
partisan editorial association, The
Herald has overlooked the Fairmont
Times which "hit the trail" some time
ago. The Wheeling Register. Park,
ersburg Sentinel, Huntington Adver.
tiser. Charleston Gazette, Morgalrown
New Dominion, Hampshire Review.
Kingwood Argus, Wetzel Democrat,
West Union Record and some OIners.
We BELIEVE, arc giving the matter ser::
GUS consideration. a Mt
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
popularize it. The West Virginia
Hills has been one Of the favorlte Sc
lections

Tweniy.eiglt hundred dollars Is not
so bad for a Sunday collection at a
church service. Dr.. Lyon gives FAR
mon, credit for being generous If not
pnnd
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
NEW UNDERMUsL1Ns.

Department Second Floor.
The woman who loves to have
her new frock hang just right and
proper, fully knows the value Of
style when applied to Undergar-
ments. This department of "The
Woman's Store" is quite abreast
of the times and here you will find
correctly tailored Undermusin5
that will add wonders to the smart
appearance Of your outer apparel
The Leona Three in One
The only garment that combines
the Corset Cover, Drawers and
Skirt into one Garment. Abso.
lutsly perfect in fit, wonderfully
convenient and a barrier to wrink.
les in your dress
$500 to $3.50
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

Most every body In West Virginia y r
is behind the good roads movement
we'll as the newspapers. but sthge
trouble is. they are so far behind that t1tl
they cannot even push, with only two
per cent Of the roads in the State I'M
proved, it is time for West Virginia 70
think Of what this means in the way
CT returding progress, sF
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

What Detroit LOST in Ty Cobbs ser.
vices has more than been made up in
extra advertising. Cobb will draw
like Il circus.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

"Levee breaks at Waterproof, La, y
says a headline. proving there is not
much III II name.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28
United STATES and STATE DepOsitorty:
ESTABLISHED 1865

start Statewide good roads move.
ment as 1914, 1920 or in the year so0e 9
The difference, ~ould,Oe NE might give
tho present generation some benefit = \.
from good roads. y
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

Lew Dockstader says he got book
of instructions with. his automobile,
containing 20 pages, 2 pagesNof in.
structions, and IS pages on first aid
to the injured. rE
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

i II the Tabernacle c!ioif had tAat
new state song Il could do lotto
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-04-28

1913 would be as good time to
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1913-02-21
An Extrdvdgant Humbug.

The Pujo committee in the house
of representatives which has been
investigating the money trust has
ended its arauous labors at an ex-
pense OF 500, 900 to the people.
The committee now knows, as it
should have known at the begin
ming, that there is no such a thing
as money trust and indeed could
not be. Any financial institution
i'll which several moneyed men are
interested and which loans money
upon approved security might be
called money trust by the pin
heads who are looking for mares
nests" for political purposes. To
show the wastefulness of the fool
investigation, $25, 900 was appro-
priated and without warrent oil
law, 500. 900 was expended to say
nothing of thrifty physician who
was paid 81, 500 to go to Florida
and look into William Rockefel.
ler,s throat at the rate of $500. per
diem.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1913-02-21
Pointed Paragraphs.

A politician no sooner climbs
aboard the band wagon than he be-
gins footing his own horn.
Still, since the November cleo
ton it is not likely that any presi-
dent will seek more than two terms.
The runaway horse is now an
exceptional cause OF accident. The
automobile has at least changed
the style of disaster.
A ladies' parade will enable the
Inauguration festivities to be sub
ject for discussion in the fashion
columns as we'll as in the political
news.
The large male population IN the
District of Columbia that has to
go on without vote should com
mand the admiration of woman
suffragists as an example of patient
forbearance.
Nevertheless the Connecticut
farmer who interrupted DR.. Anna
Shaw's woman suffragist speech
and asked her to marry him, right
before everybody, took a freakist
way to propose.
Mr.. Taft started in on his pres.
ent term as the man with the gen.
ial smile and he concludes his ad-
ministration with the same distinc-
ton. The record is as exception
al as it is creditabIe.
There is no reason why w. ]
Bryan should be oratorically dem
onstrative. He is mentioned at the
head of every list of cabinet prob
abilities, which is ali he could pos
sibly ask for at present.