The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-02
BY WELLINGTON VANDIVER

for the coming of the millennium, right
then.
"As | have intimated, he had a voice
like jaclSass braying in a soap gourd,
and when he'd blow his nose, wiping
it on his coat sleeve it sounded like the
dying groan of horse shot in battle.
This bowling, roaring vituperative old
villain was type of the old time lawyer
who made ii an invariable rule to abuse
everybody connected with the case, down
to the fifth generation.
"A hog stealing case was his particular
delight. He could spring more sudden
points, and dig up more cunning techni-
calities, in a case of swine larceny than
any practitioner this side of the peni-
tentiary. Heard him roar through a case
over in Randolph, where fellow was
indicted for undue covetousness towards
his neighbors' hogs. Proof was plain as
your hand; five witnesses had seen the
defendant shoot the hog there was hog
hair under the defendants bed; hog meat
in the defendants pot, on the stove. and
the hogs ear with the owners mark on
them, were found in the defendants
pockets.
The prosecuting lawyer. the solicitor,
made his usual little stereotyped speech
about the majesty of the law the in
volatility Of the oath OF the juror,
the old shop OF state the tribute to
the ladies' and the peace and dignity
of the state etc, and when he sat
down, Jeemes Franklin Shellnut arose
and cacerated the tympanums of the
jury with something like this: Gentle
men of the jury, you have hearn the
witnesses swar that they seen this de-
fendant pint his deadly weepun at the
obstropotous, and cantankerous hog. You
have hearn them swar they seen the lutid
flesh of the instrument as 1t vomited
forth its adamantine contents-you have
hearn them swar they hearn the report,
and also hearn the loud squeal of the
reprehensible animal-but whar? Oh, gem
tlemen of the Juror whar; OH whar, Is
the witness who swars he seen that built
hit that hog?'
"Bat Sandlin was the rising young De-
mosthenes and Cicero OF Peckerwood
beat" was the Information impaired hy
the back woods preacher. His full name
was Blanton Burgoyne Bucephalus Elem
osynary Sandlin, but on account OF the
value of time and his oratorical habits
the neighl5ors labelled him "Blat." Sand
lin was one of these here crossroads
clerks as uses bottle of Hoyts cologne
per week. and wears the purty-est
breeches of any man in the county. From
infancy, he'd make a speech or recite a
few receipts or inflct you with recita-
tion on the slightest provocation. and
when you hadn't done anything to him
to Justify such felonious conduct on his
part.
..At the Friday evening performances of
the district school, Blar was always the
hot potato with a death deserving rem
dition of the Downfall Of Napoleon.
.Spartacus to the Gladiators.~ the
Wreck of the Hesperus. and such. AS
he got older he spoke at debating So
ceties, chicken fights, church suppers.
hangings. road workings. funerals. beat
meetings. crap shootings. and on the
OCCASION hen the neghbors cleaned up
fia srracss Ssrd. wherever three or more
ferscns sel'e met together. there was
l{at Nitn his everlasting speech.
sBi4t hired me to unite him in we'd
OCH nd n,formed me that he had mem
4eist classic speech. suitable for the
r,s IS sort Of wind up OF the
ma III CEREMONY. In view Of this i'm
ositliaa eknster. I charged him & IN
fxcess lf Ae Peckerwood price for hitch
ms gso.iH couples. On the eventSul night