Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1913-10-29

snap his watch and run from tne
presence of Woodrow Wilson.
Gee" said Driver, in telling the
story to friends. 81 didn't know Pat
Tumulty had gotten up in the world
like that! Pat and l used to work
in Newark N. j., together Is years
ago, when we were kids, and we al
most upset the town with our tricks
taking pasture bars down and letting
COWS into the corn, filling wagon bot
toms with water, overturning rain bar
rels and the like.
Then we moved away. Pat got
married and had children and so did
/. I've been too busy lately reading
trade journals to find where can sell
sashes, doors and blinds, to read any
thing but the headlines Of newspa-
pers.
My wife reads all the papers. She
cah tell you what the president or
King George or Emperor William are
doing ;.-Iy minute. and sometimes she's
ashamed Of me-
sOn Wednesday I came to Wash
ington to try to sell some goods. /
certainly was looking slick. if l do
say 1t myself. My wife had even man.
icured my nails the night before.
Say, as I was walking along Penn
sylvania avenue, who should see
driving down 1t in great big automo-
bile but Pat Tumulty, my'old friend
Pat. I puts my hands to my mouth
to make trumpet, and yells at him:
Hey, you Jersey skeeter, what you do
ing up in that buzz wagon?'
Pat turned around, and when he
sees me he runs the automobile up
to the curb and grabs me and hugs me.
What you doin' over here?' he says.
I tells him, and we talks a few min
utes, and then he says he's got to
go. What you doin'T I asks. I got
job up to the White House. he says.
Come and see me-. Then he has
to 90.
when 1 gets through my work,
goes around and l asks a man In a
uniform for Mr.. Tumulty. supposed
Pat was doorkeeper or something like
that. Are you Mr.. Driver?' the man
asks, and when l tells him l am, the
fellow grins and shows me in
Say. Pat Tumulty's in a great big
room, and he's got desk with a top
to it as wide" Driver looked about
In desperation-"it's as big as this
room! And shiny! What's this job
you've got, Pat?' l asks. I'm secre-
tary to the president he says, and I
almost drops dead.
And just then a man walks into the
room yelling, The president of the
United States.' Before l have time
to touch my tie, in walks President
Wilson and Tumulty says to him: Mr..
President, I want to introduce my
friend, Mr.. priver!' and he grins. The
president grins, too.
lis this the man you were telling
me about last night?' President VIII
son asks. Yes says Tumulty ]
want him to tell you the story of Par
son Jones some time. There amt no
body can tell it like Jack
Il opened my mouth-and Just then
think about the outing and my wife,
and grabs my watch out Of my pock-
ct, and it's two minutes to II o'clock!
Two minutes to catch that trainl
Gee, I've got to get out of here I
says, and makes a bolt for the door.
Hey, wait minute, says Pat, laugh
Ing. The president was laughing. too.
You can't never"make 1t that way
And he presses button and black
man comes and Pat says: Take Mr..
Driver down to the train In the car,
and make that train, do you under
stand. Make it,! So 1 ducks without
even sayin' goodby to the president,
mind you. I'm ashamed Of myself.
We'll, the conductor had his hand
on the bell cord when we were out
side the station and got up in the ma
chine and yells: Hey, hold that cart
The White House automobiles all
have coat Of arms on EN-, you know.
/ wasn't thinkin' about that, but the
station master sees it, and his arm
stops as if it was paralyzed, and I
jumps out and gets in. l amt got
much breath left"