The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-03-19
A BATCH OF SMILES

Well. my boy said the visitor tt
Bobby, Il suppose some day you ex'
pect to step into your fathers shoes
oh. ] suppose So" said Bobby
gloomily.' I've been wearin' put ev.
erythtn' else he wears since mother
has learned to cut en- down for me-
A Scottish minister was called in te
ZEE q man who was extremely Ill,
leaving the house. he said to the
you not go to any church at all?"
Oh. yes. sir; We 80 to the Barney
Kirk"
Then why in tho world did. you
send for me? Why didn't you send
ma. ma. sir. deed no; we wadna
risk him. Do. ye ken it's q contagious
tioning. the terrified class)-"And now
Hamlet"
frightened Boy-'P-p.plesse. sir, 1,
1T want me-"
That same evening the superintend.
ent was talking to the squire Of the
village. The superintendent said:
Most amusing thing, happened to.
day: ! was questioning the class over
at the school, and I asked a boy who
wrote Hamlet He answered tear
fully, 'P-p.please. sir. it wasn't. me- u
After loud and PROLONGED laughter,
the squire said:
That's pretty good; and I suppose
the little rascal had done it all the
time!"
Some years ago in one Of the west.
ern states Of America, an English.
man, an Irishman, and a scotchman
we're found guilty Of murder ana sen
fenced to death. hut were allowed to
decide the manner Of death them
chose to be hanged on an ash tree:
the .Englishman chose an. oak; but
Pat said IF it place your honor, IA
rather be hung on a g%ooseberry
That's not big enough" said the
"Besorra. thin" said Pat. brighten.
ing up, "orn wait till it grows"
The morning class had been duly
instructed and enlightened upon the
subject Of our national independence.
Feeling sure she had made a real ana
lasting impression with her explana-
lions and blackboard illustrations; the
young teacher began with; the usual
round Of questions.
Now, Sammy Smith. where was
the Declaration OF Independence sign.
sammy. with a shout Of slee: AT
de bottom, ma'am-that's what you
said!"
-
DR.. I'M. Buckley. the well.known
editor and divine, addressing a New
York city Sunday school, related an
incident that greatly interested the
children. He told Of meeting a rag
ged. hungry looking little girl in the
street on Q winter day, and when he
questioned, her she recited a pitiful
tale Of a sick mother. and younger
brothers and sisters without food.
After giving: her a silver dollar the
good doctor followed at a safe dis.
lance to zee what she would do with
the money
Nov. children. what do you SUD.
pose was the drst thing she bought
with that dollar?" said DR.. Buckley.
"Hands up,
Up went the hands, and one child
after another ventured a guess, but
none proved correct. Finally 4. little
boy whose appraised hand alone re.
NAMED was asked for. his answer to
the aueaton. -.
- basket" he sung out.
Correct" :eid the doctor; there's
q boy who thinks. Now. son, come
, Up here sra , = tns platform ana ten W
After conaiderable coaxins the how
willing to talk. go on" ursed. ths
DOCTOR II want these boys and riris
to learn to think, too .
Tbs hoy still. hssitated and DR..
Buckley took from his pocket q silver
quarter: "I.ll give YOU this" he said.
" you'll tell us what makes Won
first"
"Be.be.cause,"; stammsr.a ~.
younsster. at last moved by the sight
OF The money. II was over in Ho.
boken last Sunday and heard vnu 81,
the story there" '"''
A white man during re~construct,on
times was arraigned before 4 coiorca
!us.ice OF the peace for killing a mar
n stealing his mule. 1t was in Ar.
kansas. near the Texas border, and
Q was some rivalry between fhc
states. but the colored Justice tri.S
AWAY TO preserve an impartial frs nv.
we rot two kind. Of law IN A..
yer COT" he aid: TEXAS law m: A..
Kansas Law. Which Win you hab7"
The prtsonsr thought Z minute. aca
then guessed that ne would IKE tn
Arketl0As law. INV '"o
Don I .dischars you TO- stealth. 4.
mule. an hang You 70 KILN de man"
Hold on Z minute. judge" aaid the
prisoner better make that Tcss.
- - ~ ~
'Ailyrttht.. ben ! I'M you TO- KILN.
man. an hank you TO- stealth q.