davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
THE ovERWoRKED FooL-klLLER.

Pity the poor foolkiller Here's man gets
himself shot out of gigantic skyrocket intending,
when the thing got up in the air to that interesting
altitude where the skyrocket commonly explodes to
release himself and come down in parachute. The
rocket blew up and the man didn't BY perfect
miracle, he was not seriously hurt and is going
to Try again.
When such sincere efforts as this at tightening
the labors of the foolker result in abject failure,
it seems time to provide official recognition and
adequate assistance to that overworked functonary
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
No Wonder.

sfYVE found a new use for those
phonograph records you bought
last week and which cost such a
lot Of money" said his wife, ac-
cording to the San Francisco Chronicle.
How clever you are!' he exclaimed.
What 10 your latest?'
In the first place" she began, IT
hold . skein Of wool over my arm, tie
one end Of the wool on q reel. place the
reel on the sraphophone pin and then
start the machine. The wool Is wound
up in no time
The fond husband gasped in admira-
ton.
But that ID not ALL" she continued
Tomorrow I shall place little bath
brick on one end of the records. start
the sramophone. and 30 clean the
knives"
He u still Gasptns.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
FURTHER REFORMING THE PEERS.

Mr.. Asquith's government seems always able to
seize upon new and popular bit of radcasm about
the time when its opposition begins to dream of a
victory Now it is announced very definitely by the
government leaders that plan of complete reform
of the chamber of peers is to be pressed by the lib
erals with the end of taking away the last vestige
of its hereditary character. This would be revolu-
ton indeed.
The conservatives have succeeded with that stu.
pidity that has of late been characteristic of them
in seizing the worst end of the issue thus presented,
by threatening reaction against the recent measure
that limited the veto power of the lords. They have
ntmated that if they get back into power they will
repeal this legislation and restore the lords to their
cid power of absolute veto to supply bills 1t
is plain to everybody of reasonable intelligence that
British public opinion will never permit tnis and
as between the radical step the liberals PROPOSE and
the retrogressive that the opposition suggests,
general election could hardly fail to determine in
favor of the liberals.
An elective upper chamber would be an imitation
of our own senate, which has been, despite all the
criticism leveled against it, most useful factor in
the making and especially in the careful, painstak-
ing scrutiny Of legislation
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
CHEER UP!
-HE Right Kind Of sslf-Enuesment
stops considerably short Of SELF
Obliteration!
BY C. Z c.zes

-aE Right Kind Of Sslf-Enzesment
stops censiderabiy short Of SELF
obliteration.
The Man who sings his Own Praises
never had . Voice good enough to Suit
u!
The Fellow who quotes that Posses
sion-is- Nine-P Points Wheeze
generally has Grabbed Something that
Doesn't Belong to him,
Having the Courage Of your Couvic-
tions and being Just Mule-headed.
In the Foolish Old Days We used oc-
caSionally to Chirp about our Otocour-
agement-until we Ascertained that II
was only Evocative Of the Ha-Ha.
Even the Through Train has to stand
for an Occasional F1aGging-and Often
1t Gets the Same Bumps as the Ac-
commodation,
When q Man Is Sore he's Liable to
Quit-but when he's merely ChaSrtne0
he'll Fight Back!
You'd be Mighty Hard Put to II to
Recall just what No-Account Little
Botheration was Worrying you . Year
Ago Today!
There's Nothing In Wondering where
You're Going to Get Of-You'n be Soti-
That Nothing Much Matters, Line Of
but there are Times when It's Mighty
Soothing!
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
Historic Hymns
MoNe modern hymns praying 70
By Frederic RedddH.

a MONG modern hymns praying for
~ guidance, Newman's famous
~ three verses seem to be most
popular-especially with people
who have not accepted the leading OF
any one church or theological auth ority.
AZ evidence Of Its widespread vogue. we
are told that at Chicago. during the
1884, the Representatives Of every creed
known to man found two things on
which they agreed. They could all join
in the Lords Prayer, and they could all
sing Lead. Kindly Light This and
Rock Of Ages" are said to have been
Lead. kindly Light. amid the encirclins
gloom,
Lead Thou me on:
The night 10 dark, and I am far from
nome Lead Thou me on.
Keep Thou my feet I do not ask to
The a. ai.,an. ant scene. One step enough
was not ever thus, nor prayed that
Shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but
Lead Thou me on.
I loved the garish day; and. spite OF
fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not
past years.
80 long Thy power hath blest me. sure
Will lead me on:
Ger moor and fen, DER crag and tor
The night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces
Which I have loved long since, and lost
awhile.
Lead. Kindly Light" was the direct
outcome of the famous Oxford Move
ment in the Church of England. II was
written by John Henry Newman shortly
before he entered the Catholic Church,
and II undoubtedly told Of his own long
ing for light and leading. He had been
in Italy and was returning to England
After stormy time In the Mediter-
ranean. the ship was becalmed for a
week. and II was then and there that
he wrote this hymn.
At Oxford. where he had been stu
dent. tutor and Fellow of Oriel College,
he met Froude, Kebie, Pusey. and
others. all leaders In the famous con-
troversy which for a time threatened to
disrupt the church. Newman visited
Rome. and while there began to write
the LYRA APOSTOLICA. book of de-
yotionaI poems. 1t was while on his re-
turn from a visit to Zante and Corfu
ing his own personal craving for light.
The very beautiful musical setting Of
the lines by DR.. John BaccKus Dykes
has undoubtedly helped not a little to
give the hymn its deathfess popularit ,
among people Of all shades of religious
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
WILSON AND JOHNSON.

There is reinsurance in the knowledge that Presi-
dent Wilson and Chairman Ben Johnson held long
interview and that the President listened with avid
ity. The President confronts the business of ap-
pointing executive officers for this District and he
needs to know all about conditions.
Two District Commissioners are to be named,
who will also make up the majority of the Public
Utilities Commission; an excise board is to come
soon. The President will hardly overlook the fact
tat the public utilities and excise legislation were
passed despite the indifference opposition-cer-
tainly without the support-of Chairman Johnson.
Mr.. Johnson is about as we'll qualified to advise how
these laws should be administered and what sort
of men should be appointed to administer them, as
Nelson w. Aldrich would be for chief adviser to
the Democratic Ways and Means Committee in
preparation of the tariff bill
About all Washington mas to ask of President
Wilson is that he will inform himself fully and fairly
about the conditions that this town confronts, and
about the affiliations and relationships of men who
may be presented to him for appointments. If he
will find the time and take the interest to do that
much, the community will be very certain that he
will not make the egregous mistake of taking Chair
man Johnson's advice seriously - -
Let the Presidents advisers-those of them who
have sincerely at heart the welfare and interest of
abouthow Johnson and Jonnsonism have been repudi-
ated by Congress in the last two years. In effect
Congress has done nothing worth while for Wash
ington except in the face of Johnson's opposition
and bitter protest Public officials trying earnestly
to be of real use to the community, incurred the
animosy of Johnson to such a degree that it was
utterly impossible for them to do their best work
Legislation for the benefit of the District had to be
lifted bodily out of tine hands of the District Com
mittee and written into appropriation bills simply
because the District Committee had gone on strike
under the lead of Chairman Johnson, against doing
any real District business .
1t would be- perhaps, too much to urge that the
President intervene in the effort TO relieve the Dis
trict of further imposition of Johnson in this chair
manship. That is responsibility which is upon the
organization of the House. But at least the Presi-
dent it to himself to be very that he makes
mistake through accepting too readily advice that
may come from such a source.
That he will make such error is not to be ex-
pected, in view of the fact that his Cabinet num-
bers two men VINO have had long experience trying
to do things for this District over the head and
against the opposition of Johnson. If the President
will just give few minutes to Secretary Redield
and Secretary Burleson, there will be no need for
concern about the influence of Johnson at the White
House.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
WHY NOT "JIMMIE?"

Long and highly efficient service of Jimmie
Sloan as chief of the White House Secret Service
staff, is rewarded by the announcement that he will
continue in that post under President Wilson as chief
of the personal attendants of the Executive 1t is
q well earned and deserved recognition.
BY the way as Washington is well in the way
Of getting a new superintendent of police, why not
Jimmie" Sloan? Can anybody name better
equipped man for that post?
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
A Self Made Genius.

RoF. ARMINUS vAMBERY. the
worlds most famous Orientalist.
who celebrated his eightieth
birthday not long ago, was .
tailor's apprentice as a lad, and re-
ceiyed no education other than that he
was able. to pick up. His father was
moor. and the boy had to work his way
A. eighteen he had already mastered
four European languages. in addition to
Turkish, and then became a private
teacher. His long life in the Orient
gave him perfect command Of many
tongues At Constantinople he was
counselor to Abdud Hamid. He Is proud
Of his lowly origin. boasts of the many
books he has written. cares little for
wealth. but Is said to be unusually sus-
ceptible to flattery. For wears he has
heen professor Of oriental languages at
budapest .-.L-
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
WAGES AND MORALITY.

The vice investigation committee of the Illinois
senate is obtaining testimony to actual wages
and living costs of working girls Some day the
minimum wage question is likely to become acute,
and the wide publicity given conditions in Chicago
now cannot but educate the country as to its merits
But discussion OF the minimum wage problem;
of whether employers could pay more or would BE
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
She Couldn't Believe It.

ENATOR VEST, while travelling
IN the West. once met an old
woman who regarded him Gu
riously.
And SO you're Senator Vest, the
great Senator?' she asked.
I'm Senator Vest" he replied. bow
ing.
well, well.'' she exclaimed, con-
after all I've heard about
you. I never'd although it."-Pittsburgh
Dispatch.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
New Light on Socrates.

. HE misundersta nding Of words fre-
quently causes strange answers.
A child who has been taught
that Socrates had a wife who
VAS unpleasant to him. and that the
great philosopher drank hemlock. when
Asked the cause of his death. replied:
Socrates died from an overdose OF
wedlock."-Strand Nagaxina.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
THIS& THAT
Wnh semet,mes . Lutte srtAe oihe,
A MODEST WISH.

Distributor of earthly fame,
Contented to be unsung;
do not crave that my poor name
Be euer on the public tongue.
do not couet such renoun-E
Not pldudits of the popalace;
Nor that each barber shop in topS
ShoU Hthos of my so-called face.
I do not ask for rery much;
But Dhen my final ~ begins,
Let my celebrity be such
That doctors issue bulletins.
The Prexy's photo In his workine
clothes shows him with fountain per
In. hand-which explains why he doesn't
dress up. He probably has a fountain
pen like ours and doesn't want to &c,
his good clothes all linked up
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
LAST BANQUET OF THE W1-osT.
YAN-ALL CLUB.


YAN-ALL CLUB.
BY WILLIAM H. SEvERsoN.
They bound me with thorns and chains,
And dragged me across the Grid Iron OF
H again and again
A horse stood upon n, and tore me with
teeth and feet,
AS though l had been corn. oats. or
wheat
They dragged me through the frey fur.
mace.
What an awful night it was.
Into the flames l seemed to sink.
For l was awfully dry and could not get
a drop to drink.
struggled with the demons. one and
all,
Finally l broke from them and got a
terrible fall.
Then heard the people talk,
And woke to find myself out on the side
walk
1t was after daybreak, l was dressed,
AS 1 came from the Banquet.
ION the home stretch.)
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
What's $ on tie Program in
WASHINGTON Today

The following Masonic organizations
will meet tonight: Lodges--St.
Johns, No. IL: Hope. No. 90. Royal
Arch Chapters-Eureka, No 4. Il.
I Takoma. m = No. Il. grand Visitation:
Cathedral. No. IA. Friendship. No.
The following 1. o. o. r. organisations
will meet tonight: I.odges-Central.
Phoenix. No. 2s, visitation. Rebekah
Degree-Dorcas Lodge. No. 4.
The following K. Of p. organizations
win meet tonight: Lod{esIsyra-
No Is IsaK Iseaurv PSsSsn
Sisters-Rathbone Temple. No. 8.
The following Red Mems organiza-
tions will meet tonight: Lodges
Seneca Tribe, No. II; Mineola Tribe.
The following National Union coun-
cils will meet tonight: National
Capital. Mckinley. and Georgetown.
Concert by the United States Soldiers
Home Band. Stanley Hall. $50 p m.
Amusements
Nstionai-Nasimova In BELLA Donna"
ceiur si.G.rbe Rose of kildare"
ssi.see. si.s ?: 3 san.y Pull. tn. Strings
Poii'sE"The Heir to the ,Hoorah." ss1s
and rs p. m.
Chases-Polite vaudeville. s:15 and Sis
Academy-"McFadden's Flats" SIZE
D. m.
cosmos-vaudeville. AFTERNOON and
evening.
cssino-Vaudsville. afternoon ana svsn-
iuG.
Lyc:um--N.w Century Girls" su and
8:lB D. m.
Gayety-Ai Reeves' Show. as ana as
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
From The "Times.")

The Senate insists on taking its time
on the important questions of iesisla-
ton that come before 1t and 1t refuses
brought on 1t from the House or the
White House the more stubborn It IL
apt to become.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
SAY NO MORE! A TICKET TO Asso.
NET. PLEASE: ONE WAY ONLY.
(From the Worcester Telegram

The largest cranberry bog in the world 10
being prepared in Assonet at an expense Of
s300, co., and 1t II to be planted as soon As
the 200 men employed for the work can get
it ready. They are using electric machines
to change the surface OF the land to the
required conditions and establish Q hoodinE
pond. 1t 10 one OF the requirements Of O
bog that plenty OF water be stored
on 4 higher level to be handy for flooding
the berries in the fall before they are ripe
to prevent frost getting at them on cold
nights. That is the kind Of blanket the
farmers use, because II is i'm
possible In the matter Of expense to cover
{ large cranberry patch as the gardener
does his squash vines.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

1t is practically settled that the next
New York police probe will get un-
der way on May 4. The Gotham sun
parade Of May 8. incidentally. will be
the finest ever.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
Mr.. MoRGAN's HEALTH.

(From the ''Herald.") tFrom the ''Post -
Rome. March l3.- Rome. Italy, March
J. Pierpont Morgan lS.-J. Pierpont Nor.
reached here this aft gan arrived here from
ernocn. Naples this afternoon
Seized with a sud He intends to remain
denly weakening spell In Rome three weeks
n he was about to Morgan landed in
disembark from the Naples today. on the
Adriatic at Naples steamship Adriatic
this morning, Il be- from Alexandris
came necessary for Egypt. He Appeared
Mr.. Morgan practic. to be in . satisfactory
ally to be carried condition Of health.
ashore by three per-
sons and lifted aboard
the train for Rome.
The heavens have lQuidated.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
Rotten. Thank You.

G. S. K: Speaking Of sack suits,
every time my boss intends to fire some
body he wears one. Hows that?
CHENNIE.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

Well bet something handsome there
was fruit picture in that load CT
truck-pardon, truck load-that arrived
at the White House yesterday. II the
Wilson's want to pulverize another
precedent they'll refrain from hanging
II in the dining room.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

AS We pivot to press the physicians
end is expected at any minute
Heavens. what doctors bill that town
will have!
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW.

Hugh 8. Fullerton. in the Chicago Tribune.)
NEEDLESS INFORMATION.
1.-The expense of increasing the min
imum wage will be put up to the pub
lic"
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

Portfolio Diaz says he'll contribute to
his country's welfare by remaining IN
Europe. Or words to that effect.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14
SANDMAN STORIES.
III.

From any paper.)
Oxford won the annual boat race with
Cambridge on the Thames by a quarter
Of lerg 9Th.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

Information from persons attending
the National this week is that they put
in a regular ''This-all-comes-under
head-of- pleasure" evening.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

And our umbrella SO miles away.
q. Q. 4.
The Washington times., 1913-03-14

The heavens have nquidated.
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1913-09-03
BIG COLONIST MOVEMENT
Delegates at Vienna to Help "On to
Palestine" Move.

| VIENNA, Sept. 3.-"On to Palestine
was the keynote of the worlds Zionist
Congress which convened here today
Professor Warburg of the University
of Berlin, presided. About 500 dele
gates representing 25 countries, are
in attendance. The United States and
| Canada are represented by more than
| so delegates.
1t was expected that the old fight
between the two factions in the Zion
ist movement-the practical and the
political Zionists-would break out
again upon the adoption of the re-
port of the actions committee, as the
executive committee is known. The
dream of the practicals, who are in
control of the congress, is colonization
of Palestine by the Jews as a nucleus
for the ultimate formation and or
ganization of an autonomous if not an
Independent Jewish state. The prac-
teal believe they are thus carrying
out the promise and prophecy of Holy
Writ. The politicals, on the other
hand, headed by DR.. Max Nordau, of
Paris, oppose this idea as visionary
and fantastic and stand for the uni
fed and concerted action on the part
Of Zionists to secure safeguards and
equal privileges and opportunities for
the Jews in countries where they are
still more or less oppressed.
The report of the actions commit
tee on the Palestine movement to-
gether with the fact that the majority
of the delegates are from Russia, who
see little hope of anything being ac>
hieved in those countries by the pol
iticals, it was believed will further
the hold of the practicals
on the congress.
The Jewish Colonial Trust company,
the financial instrument of the Zion |
list movement, with headquarters in
London, has a capital of $10,000,000 OF
w
There are 100000 shareholders all over
he world. A second financial organzi-
ltion is the Jewish National Fund,
tarted nine years ago to collect money
or the purchase of land in Palestine.
Up to the present $850,000 mostly in
,mall sums from pennies to dimes,
las been collected. 1t is hoped that a
lew record will be established this
ear by the collection of $250,000 for
his fund America last year subscrib-
d $4,000 in cash.
Aside from these two funds and a
lumber of smaller organizations work
ng toward the same goal, there are
Colonization organizations formed by
aaron Rothschild and Baron Hirsch of
'aris, whose holdings in Palestine are
aid to be valued at many millions of
ollars. Il
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1913-09-03
Keen Out of the Cemetery

By using System Renovation, remedy
of roots, banks, and rosin preserved in
glycerine. A destroyer of many ills
such as l will Constipation
Rheumatism, Kidney Ailments, Stom-
ach Trouble of all kinds, Female Trou-
BILE, Epilepsy, it arrests Sick Head
ache and Diarrhoea at once. 1t gives
a relish for food. Use it and you can
eat anything you like and no bad re-
suit will follow. 1t is also one of the
best Blood Purifiers. 1t will destroy
Catarrh. He that uses it for any of
these ailments gets his money money
back if no good results. Don't wait
till the break down comes which will
land you in the repair shop the next
door to the cemetery.
With pure blood you can have
beauty which makes you desirable
above ALL Pints soc, Quarts $1.00
For sale by the
Corner Drug Store, Cor. Sd and Main.
Moscow, Idaho.
S6-91pd
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1913-09-03
TOday's Birthday HOn0rs.

Former Queen Lilioukaloni or as
she is Familiarity known, Queen Lii
former queen of the Hawaiians, is
seventy-fve today. She is in excellent
health and always attends the great
Honolulu give her on her birthday.
Queen LIZ has always been famous
for her glorious appetite and her beau
old age in enjoying a couple of pounds
of rare beefstake each day. Her form
er majesty has long since ceased to
is taking an interest in philanthropy
In private life she is Mrs. Dominis.
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1913-09-03
LABOR NEWS NOTES

Many palatial homes in New York
City and vicinity will not be reopened
this fall as a result of the painters
and decorators strike.
The international association of fire
engineers meeting in New York this
week has been in existence for forty
five years. The convention is being
attended by distinguished visitors from
England, Scotland, France, Germany,
Russia, Holland and South Africa
In ordere to prevent accidents, the
Pennsylvania railroad is planning to
install wireless telephone system on
it's trains for the use of engineers and
conductors.
The information that prisoners are
employed on construction and repair
work in the county Jail and inmates e
the relief home are also employed on
similar work in that institution, has
caused the labor unions of San Fran
cisco to ask for an inquiry Tito the
matter. They say that such labor de-
prives mechanics and trade unionists
of work to which they are entitled
President Andrew Furuseth of the
Seamen's union of Amer
lea who has been in Washington look
ing out for the interest of his organi
zation, predicts early and favorable
action on the seamen's bill. The Amer
lean Federation of Labor has passed q
resolution calling upon congress to |
pass the bill Immediately.
The long standing strike of work. |
men employed in manufactures owned |
by Governor Foss, and the prospect |
that the governor will make a hard |
fight for denomination and reelection, |
has prompted the Massachusetts Fed
grafton of Labor to prepare to take an
active part in the state campaign this
'all. Candidates for the legislature
and for the various state offices will |
De questioned by the federation as to
heir views on certain questions of
special Importance to labor interests
md support will be given only to those
whose answers appear satisfactory.
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1913-09-03
WHO'S WHO IN THIS
TOWN?

Who sells the best cIOthing-the best
shOes-the finest flOwers-the best
drugs!
Do you know?
Do you buy to the best advantage
when you buy!
The advertising columns of the Star
Mirror form live, up-tO- the-minute
WHO'S WHO IN THIS TOWN.
Merchants who spend money for ad-
yertising are reliable merchants. They
expect to be in business for years to
come.
They know it pays to keep faith with
the public. They have confidence in
their goods, in their prices, in their
service.
They advertise in the Star-Mirr0r
because they believe they are helping
you and in helping you are making
friend.
1t pays to advertise and it pays to
read advertising. Just run your eye
through this newspaper and learn
who's who.