davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-06-01
A Novel Function.

A gNup Of school girls, home for
vacation, gave surprise luncheon
worth copying. One wrote numbers
on cards and each girl drew card
No. | was hostess and had to set the
table: No. Q was to bring the first
course: No. 3 the second course. and so
on. On the day of the luncheon the
girls arrived exactly on time. and
placed their dish. all wrapped in waxed
paper, on the table. There was much
fun guessing what each one brought.
No 3 brought not consomme: No. 3
sandwiches of minced ham and
chicken; NO. 4 peach salad with g.
sweet mayonnaise No. ambros
oranges srrinkled with sugar and co.
coanut; No. hot chocolotc. At lunch
con each girl was asked to compose
a limerick. These were written in little
blank books and kept as souvenirs.
After luncheon each hemmed a tea
towel to be given 70 charity.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
MELISSA WOULD sIDEsTEP THE
CAP AND BELLS.

Mrs. Merriwid, sitting before her
mirror, dipped her dainty finger into
q pot of Creme Diane, and smearing
the thuriferous compound on the low
er part of her face, began to rub 1t In
with considerable vigor. Her ma
ternal maiden Aunt Jane, finding her
thus employed, expressed some sur
prise, the hour of the operation being
untimely.
"Too much Of It only makes 'em
deeper, Melissa my DEAR" she OBJ
served kindly.
Makes what deeper?" demanded
her niece with some asPerity.
Aunt Jane coughed deprecating lit
tie cough. Excuse me-" she said.
'Pm doing this because my face
aches," explained Mrs. Merriwid. do
you understand, auntie? 1t isn't be-
cause of any waste Of cellular tissue
attributable to senile decay and riot
GUS living, as you seem to sweetly In
sinuate; it's because I've overstrained
my cheek muscles smiling at Mr.. Mot
ieys merry JESUS. InaIs "naI
person gets for being polite. feel as
II I'd just emerged from a protracted
gum chewing contest and had lost out
on a technicality. Kindly hand me a
towel. That man is pest
T thought you liked him." said
Aunt Jane. You said he was such
good company, II remember rightly
mot stock company, however" said
Mrs. Merriwid. For a one night
stand he's all right, but he's no attrac-
ton for long run. He pals, dearie.
and I'm no pallbearer II am still In
mourning. 1 can take joke as well
as any woman, but lack the capacity
of the comic section editors waste
basket"
You're the most changeable WON
an ever saw" remarked Aunt Jane.
Il like a little variety l admit, but
continuous vaudeville is something
else again." said Mrs. Merriwid. you
see how it's beginning to affect me,
don't you? After a session with that
Motley individual / feel as II wore
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

an extent that they'd aquit me without
leaving their box"
How can you talk so. MelissaT
said Aunt Jane, reproachfully.
''Dearie," replied Mrs. Merriwid.
"men like Mr. Motley ought to be ex-
terminated. Life isn't anything more
than a joke to them-at the other
fellows expense. It's a scream when
fellow being slips on something and
fractures his spine; and when some
body's new five-dollar hat blows on
and rolls in the mud, he howls with
Joy. Language is something for him
to play on, the Jew Is a 'kike,' the
Irishman is a harp the italian a
'dago' and the negro a smoke and
their mission In life Is to furnish fun
ny stories about themselves for him
to tell. That's proud mans sense OF
humor-aDd / wish somebody could
tell me whers the sense comes in. A
woman can't see anything particularly
mirth-provoking when people are
butted by goats or kicked by mules;
1t takes the fine perception Of the mas
culine mind to properly appreciate the
ludicrous element In the casualty
ward"
''It was only yesterday morning
that you laughed when burned my
my front with the curling iron" Aunt
Jane accused.
Mrs. Merriwid giggled at the recol-
lection. Il know / did, dearie," she
admitted, but 1t wasn't so much the
calamity as the way you looked, and
besides, didn't bray. There's diff
ference between a musical cachin-
natory tinkle and q haw-haw. /
haven't got q red face and bulging
buttermilk eyes, hope. / don't wear
fancy waistcoats and patent leather
shoes with scalloped tan cloth tops. l
don't shave my neck or drench nay
handkerchiefs with cologne or brush
a six-inch strand of moist hair across
a bald spot"
81 don't see what that has to do
with it," said Aunt Jane.
"Then you must be suffering with
astigmatism, myopia and strabismus,
replied Mrs Merriwid. Il don't take
anything back about the disadvantages
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

large checked, high-water inexpress-
ibles and red whiskers and had to
talk up to them. Believe me, sweet
Aunt, it's demoralizing. ! pity his
wife-if he ever gets one"
"I don't see any reason why he
shouldn't" said Aunt Jane.
"T do" replied Mrs. Merriwid. He
couldn't pay a lady any serious atten-
ton. As between q funny man and
fat man, dearie, the fat man stands
the best chance of being loved. Mr..
Motley would say he couldn't stand a
slim chance, but, thank heaven! I'm
not Mr.. Motley-or Mrs. Motley. You
know, pet, we like to be taken seri-
ously. Perhaps because we haven't
any sense Of humor. I'll tell you
about that Precious: If what Mr..
Motley and others of his noble sex are
afflicted with is a sense of humor, let
US offer thanks that in all our close
association with them we havn't
caught it I'll say for poor dear Hen
ry Merriwid that he hadn't any to
speak of. II told Henry all at once
that the girl we had engaged the day
before had departed at three p. m.
with my souvenir coffee spoons and
that the water front in the kitchen
range had burst and that the moths
had got into my furs and ruined them
and that I'd been omitted from the In
vitations to Mrs. Swellup's reception
and spattered hot fat on my arm fry
ing the potatoes and that the dress
maker had sent back my skirt with
FUCKERS all down the seams, Henry
wouldn't have leaned back in his chair
and whooped with merriment. That's
what Mr.. Motley would do. He'd In
stantly see the funny side of it, and
the next thing you know I'd be trying
to make a good impression on a sym.
pathetic jury. There's one thing: II
1 made a plea of justification on the
aforementioned grounds, 1t would
tickle their sense of humor to such
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
synopsis Of Game Laws-open Sc,

Synopsis Of Game Laws-open Sea-
son.
/. Doves-From September l to
March 1.
2. Wood or Summer Ducks-Sep-
tember / to March 1.
3. Teal DucksTSeptember Is to
April /.
4. River Ducks-october 1 to
March is.
5. Coots or Poule D'eau-October
to March Is.
s. Geese or Brant-october 1 to
March 10.
Z. Snipe-September Is to April 1.
s. Turkey cocks only)-Novem-
Der to April 10.
g.. Quail-November Is to March
Is.
10. Robins-November Is to March
Is.
II. Deer Ducks only)-october 1
to January 1.
Limit of Bags in a Day:
25 ducks.
Is of all other game birds.
bucks, and not more than five IN
a season.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
Members Parish Democratic Exeeu-
tive Committee.

Members Parish Democratic Exeeu'
tive Committee.
First ward-R. w. Newell, Newell
ton: F. L. Guthrie. Notnac P. 0.
Second Ward-Louis Buckner, New
elton: r. Y. Newell. Newellton.
Third ward-A. e. Green, st. 10
seph: Louis Buckner Jr., st. Joseph
Fourth Ward-R. B. Lynch, New
Light: P. c. Smith, Delta Bridge.
Fifth ward-D. H. O'Kelley, Ash
wood: B. F. Mcvay. Ashwood.
Sixth Ward-G. C. Goldman, Gold
man p. o.; Allan Shelton, Waterproof
Seventh ward-D. F. Miller, Gold
man: p. D. Coleman, Highland.
At Large-Joseph Curry, st. 10
seph: w. NJ. Davidson, st. Joseph
John Hughes. st. Joseph; DR.. X. B
Mcmillan, Point Pleasant; John Muir
doch, Newerlton.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
Religious Notices.

Rev. P. H. Fontaine. pastor NJ. d.
church, holds services at Wesley
chapel on morning and afternoon Of
first Sunday, and at the Union
church, st. Joseph, on the night q
the first Sunday and morning and
night Of the third Sunday.
Rev. Father Degnan of Vidalia says
mass at the Catholic chapel. St Jo-
seph, once month. following an
nouncement.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
District Court.

District Judge-John Dale, Vidalia.
District Attorney-Abner e. Green,
st. Joseph.
Terms of Court-The terms OF the
District Court in the parish of Tensas
are hereby fixed as follows. to-wit:
Jury Terms-Third Mondays In
April and October.
Civil Terms-Third Mondays In
January, February, March, May. June,
July. November and December.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
Save the stInQ.

cave t1C SbUHs
George Bailey. who lives at Placer
vile, Cal, and who had been almost
blind for some time, was stung on the
face and eyelids while he was chang
ing a swarm OF bees from one hive to
another, the other day, and his sight
was completely restored. We have
heard, too, Of men who, by being
stung by bees, were cured Of rheu-
matism. Recently 1t was announced
that an Englishman had succeeded in
developing stingless bees. We feel 1t
our duty to earnestly protest against
his activity. Let him be headed on
before 1t is too late. II he is per-
mitted to go ahead and arrange IL 80
that no bee will ever again have the
power, to sting he may bring upon
the human race the greatest OF all
calamities, for we have no doubt that
those who have the desire for eternal
youth may gain it through the stings
Of bees II they can only find out how
to be properly stung.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

Sixth ward-Magistrate. ]. Fl. Sea-
man. Waterproof: constable, John D.
Shelton, Waterproof.
Seventh ward-Magistrate, z. d.
Coleman; constable. --.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

Of a chronic cut-up from social and
matrimonial points Of view, but q
man can be perfectly killing. the life
of the party and even a sad wag--if
he's the kind that, can get away with
It."
"Then l infer that your objection to
Mr.. Motley Is based rather upon his
personal appearance and manner than
his characteristic propensity to Jest.
with it." said Aunt Jane.
"You may not have a keen sense of
humor, auntie DEAR" said Mrs. Merri-
wild, "but you're a great little inferrer
at that. A lady's suitor may be some
thing of a Joker, but he mustn't be a
joke"
you mean too jocular, don't you,
Melissa?" asked Aunt Jane.
'T mean Oh, what's the use!"
said Mrs. Merriwid.
Copyright. 1912. by W. q. Chapman)
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

Fifth Ward-Magistrate d. H
o'Kelley, Ashwood: constable, "
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
Town Of ST. Joseph.

Town of ST. Joseph.
Mayor-W. NJ. Davidson.
Clerk-Abner r. Green.
Town Treasurer-R. II. Whitney.
Aldermen = Joseph Curry, B. F.
Young. Louis Buckner Jr., Oscar
Levy, z. J. Walton.
Board meets first Tuesday In each
month at office of the mayor.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
e. & A. M.

Masonic lodge meets at Newellton
first Wednesday.
Masonic lodge meets at st. Joseph
on second Tuesday.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
rENsAs PARlsI DIRECTORY.

Sheriff-John Hughes.
Clerk of Court-Joseph Curry.
Assessor-A. Bondurant
Treasurer-W. NJ. Davidson.
Parish Surveyor-John Johnson.
Game Warden-Charles Johnston.
Coroner-Dr. ]. G. Lilly.
Health Officer-Dr. L. A. Murdoch.
Members House Representatives
John Murdoch and s. w. Martien.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
Members Police Jury.

MemperS Pollce Jury.
First Ward-F. L. Guthrie, Notnac
P. o.
Second ward-John d. Fultz. New
elton.
Third ward-F H. Curry, St Jo-
seph.
Fourth Ward-Robert B. Lynch,
New Light.
Fifth ward-B. F. McVay, .Ashwood
Sixth Ward-Louis t. Hunter, Wa
terproof.
Seventh Ward-Wm. A. Register,
Clayton p, o.
Clerk-R. H. Whitney, st. Joseph.
The Police Jury for Tensas parish
meets first Monday in March, June,
July, October and December, at ST
Joseph, at 12 o'clock m.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

Second ward-Magistrate. Louis
Buekner, Newellton; constable, L. X.
FJ1tz, Nswellton.
Third Ward = Magistrate, e. +.
Newell. st. Joseph: constable, John
r. Smitha, st. Joseph.
Fourth Ward-Magistrate B. Y.
Berry, Delta Bridge; constable,
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31
School Board.

School Board.
Fret Ward-M. w. Bland, Point
Pleasant.
Second Ward-Robert Y. Newell,
Newellton.
Third ward-w. ]. Steen, st Jo-
seph.
Fourth ward-P. C. Smith. Delta
Bridge.
Fifth ward. c. Ellis.
Sixth Ward-W. d. A. Gorton, Wa
terproof.
Seventh Ward-D. F. Miller, Gold
man p. o.
Secretary School Board and Super
intendent Education = Thomas M
Wade, NeWellton.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

Magistrates and constables.
First Ward = Magistrate, M. "
Bland, Point Pleasant; constable
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1913-01-31

sUOpyrisht ~. By W. \.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13
Where the Weiuht Fell,

Among the ancestors of Wendell
Phillips were several Puritan clergy.
men. Perhaps 1t was push of here.
dity which made him, at five years of
age. a preacher. His congregation
was composed Of circles of chairs, ar
ranged in his fathers parlor. while a
taller chair, with bible on 1t, served
him for pulpit. He would harangue
these wooden auditors by the hour
Wendell" said his father to him one
day, don't you get tired Of this?"
mo, papa wittily replied the boy
preacher; "I don't get tired, but 1t is
rather hard on the chairs"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13
SHOWING vAGARIEs OF FAME
How Rublnsteln, at the Height OF
Emlnenee, Refused Offer That
Meant Great Distinction.

Teresa Carreno, the eminent wom-
an pianist, indulging in "reminiscences
Of her career of fifty years before the
public, tells story Of Tschaikowsh
and Rubinstein, which, in one respect,
is Illuminating.
Rubinstein, the great Russian mas
ter, composer and performer Of his
time, is seated in his study when
Tschaikowski arrives and humbly
asks permission to dedicate to the
great man concerto for plano and or
chestra. Rubinstein examines the
composition hastily; flies into a ter
rible rage; shakes his leonine head
and asks the affrighted Tschaikowski
how he dares to offer to dedicate this
trash" to a man of such eminence.
Thereupon, Tschaikowski leaves the
house, and by chance, meeting the
conductor Won Bulow. offers him the
dedication, which is accepted.
Observe the mutations of time!
Rubinstein was great musician, a re-
markable performer, but not a COM
poser of the first rank by any means.
Tschaikowski has sprung into the first
rank Of composers and is generally re-
garded by musicians as one Of the
greatest musical geniuses Russia has
produced.
A dedication by him Of one OF his
works is in itself title to unusual dis
tinction. and will make for the per-
petuation OF any ones fame, while. as
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13

long bargaining Of secrets with
him. Whatever his business, he could
speedily discover mine II he chose.
II were honest with him he might
return the confidence
Il am arranging for the escape of
Julius Craig. now doing his time in
the prison yonder." | told him.
Julius Craig!" he echoed. with
wild eyes. THE escape of Julius
Craig?"
Yes. Do you know him?"
He burst into a scream of hysteri-
cal laughter. swaying his body to and
fro, and pressing his hands to his
sides as II trying to crush the uncan-
ny merriment out of him; and then.
before l guessed what he was about.
the old fellow was upon me, with his
arms about my neck in mad en-
| brac,.
Welcome, comrade," he cried. 'I.
too, have come to find way out OF
Princetown jail for julius Craig"
1t took a good five minutes and
pull out of flask to get him back
to hard sense. Then he told me his
story sitting on fallen stone under
the old cherry tree.
Craig was dearer to him than any
brother he said, with a burst Of open
sincerity. There was that between
them that he could never forget while
life remained to him. He had heard
how the man had come under prison
discipline, and had come to help him
escape If that were humanity possible
or me or my London employers he
knew nothing whatever.
| He had been shown over the pris-
on, having obtained pass from an
influential friend. and while there
had learned the place where Craig
was daily employed. Yesterday from
the cairn hill he had satisfied himself
that the convict was working In the
gang.
He had crept out this evening to
! examine the stream and hedge which
divided the new enclosure from the
moor. When he saw me on his track,
his suspicious as to my business were
confirmed. Either he must give up
his project or my mouth must be
stopped. So he tempted me into the
ruined farm. The rest l knew.
He spoke in an easy, pleasant voice,
with a perfect frankness and good
humor. It never seemed to occur to
him that he had done anything un.
reasonable, anything to which level
| 7 cfor
him in growing amazement
There seemed, indeed, only one So
lution before me-that he had become
partially insane.
you must understand my position
Mr.. Kingsley" he concluded. 81 am
not lunatic, but l have made up
my mind in this matter Of julius
Craig. Any one who is foolish enough
to come between us must stand aside
or take the consequences. Towards
yourself, for example. had no Ill will
In fact, l rather liked you. But you
must admit that, as detective, your
presence was excessively inconven.
lent. Now that l know the truth,
welcome you as a most valuable ally
I am prepared to trust you absolute
ly. Come, what are your plans?"
told him as we walked back to
to the inn. He expressed himself an
admirer of their simplicity as we part
ed for the night Mad or not, had
found an assistant who would be OF
great help to me. So l let 1t stay at
that and slept like a rock till nine
next morning.
CHRONICLES TO BE CONTINUED
N1ea q. c. 1acl g.,
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13

and on this add couple of inches OF
loose soil. Then place the plants In
the trench three or four feet apart.
Cover with three inches Of earth. 1t
not being we'll to cover deeper, as 1t
takes too long for the young shoots to
push their way through. AS the shoots
grow the rest Of the earth can be filled
In around them by after cultivation.
When filled in. the crowns of the
plants should be about six inches be-
low the surface of the ground, for II
planted much less the roots will push
up to the surface and interfere with
the cultivation.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13
Grass Demonstration.

A new line Of work of the depart.
ment of agriculture and one that is
very promising was begun last year
In conducting demonstration expert.
ments In grass. One hundred demon.
stration farms Of one acre each were
established in 20 counties in South
Carolina. An average yield of 3,146
pounds of cured hay at an average
cost Of $23.66 per acre was produced,
and in some instances as much as
5000 or 5000 pounds Of cured hay an
acre was harvested. These highly sat.
lsfactory results have stimulated great
interest in grass growing, especially
in South Carolina A vigorous grass
campaign has been started in North
Carolina, Virginia and other states.
1t Is expected that 5000 or more al.
,alfa demonstrations will be conducted
his year in Virginia alone.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13
Wheat. Rive and Barley.

Wheat and rye have about the same
composition, although wheat is some.
what richer in protein. Rye is In gen.
eral tougher and harder to grind.
Both are quite digestible, but less so
than corn, on account Of the larger
percentage of hull When they can
be had at about the price Of corn they
may profitably form part of some
rations. They are fed more satisfac.
torily when ground than when whole.
Barley seems to rank between wheat
and oats. 1t Is not used very exten.
sively as stock food In the east,
except when the quality is too poor
to permit It's use for mailing pur.
loses.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1913-06-13
ASPARAGUS is HARDY
Select Spot Where Plant Can Re.
main Permanently.
land Should Be Deep, Rich, Fertile,
Moist and Cool, With Warm Ex-
posure-Plant In Rows the
Same as Corn, Etc.

One of the best and easiest grown
,f our garden perennials Is the as
paragus plant. says Green's Fruit
Grower. 1t can be started either from
seed or from plants. If one wishes to
,aise plants to sell, plant the seed'
out If asparagus is wanted for home
Or market use it is better to set out
Vearling seedlings.
1t Is important In laying out the as
paragus plantation to select a place
where it can remain permanently for
II taken proper care Of the plantation
will last for twenty years. The old
dea was the asparagus bed" The
new is to plant in rows the same as
corn, etc, so that for the market gar
len the cultivation can be done by
horse. The land selected should be
1eep, rich, fertile, moist and cool soil.
having warm exposure, a gradual
southern slope being preferred. II
The land Is originally hard and coarse,
It should be worked year or two In
advance by the raising of some thor
oughly titled crop, using as much ma
nure as possible in the process. Late.
deep, fall plowing Is preferable, turn
ing under a thick covering Of we'll
rotted manure. In the spring. when
the frost is out of the ground. plow
burrows from six to ten inches deep
and four feet apart. II the soil Ia
not of the best quality two or three
inches of well-rotted manure should
be placed in the bottom of each trench