The Jones County news., 1913-12-04
YE EDITOR AND
MAYOR TAYLOR.
A Story Of Mistaken Identity
and The Complications and
Troubles that E lsued.

Now, while Mayor Tom Taylor is a
most genital, big-hearted fellow, as all
OF his friends must confess, he didn't
chance TO be around when re crap Of
good looks was being given out We
don't go so far as to vaarpe that His
Honor would scare a tired horse but
o moon-eyed steed would certainly
shy at Tom if itsaw him standing on
the side Of the road.
His Excelleney also claims TO he
immune from mosquitoes: but whether
these little winged mnsicians do not
Irclish or admire Tom TayloTs visage,
or that these discernins i,sc3.s know
ihey would starve to de Cd trying to
extract nntriment from lis auatomy,
is an unsolvcd enigma.
Our Mayor is anything but a second
Daniel Lambert in size and statue. In
fact his dimensiors are more rani
parable to pound of soap ai.ar
hard days washing. But we must not
fors9 t shat The most valuable ari 'es
are always put up in small packages
From his general appearance,
ca9ual observer would surmi.e e, ilom
a hasty glance or bird s-eye view that
Mayor Taylor was look-worm vic
tim. But he is undeniably ,ree from
any such pest. No intelligent and
discerning hooa.worm would ever hug
Tie hallueinatioa to its bosom hat IL
could subsist from nutriment drawn
from Mayor Tom. Hook-worms don't
gpaw on 2ristles and bones. DiI ey
feed on brains and cleverness Tom
would furnish them wi' me most lux
uriant pasturage.
Now the Editor of ne Jones Cour-
ty News don't propose 10 try and tra-
We on his good looks; bus when STAN
ding between such raw-bone, homely
specimens OF humanity as Tom Tay-
lor and Dave Collins, we always lee
like a thing Of peauty and Joy for
ever.
The above By way OF piolosae and
was bropght, a1out by the following
inci aentA
Last h3opday mora rlg ..ss Editor or
This paper was out on Main ST eaet.
persuing the even tenor OF his way.
when be was appioa he'd by a we'll
dressed stranger, with the conundrum: !:
Excuse me, sir. But a4e you not
the Mayor of Ellisvilleq''
We looked square in the cy. os the
iaquirer, and indig r ntly askedp
s'Look herol Did you ever see Tom
Taylor, the Mayor Of this 'burg?''
mo, SIR" was the polite reply. 81
have never had that honor and pleas
ure. Itw as mistake, 1 sec, on my |
part In addressing YOU"
We then explained to the fellow |
that we We're peaceful, law abiding
citizen, but his ignorance had saved |
him from ne darndest t,lreshing man
evef got All now required was that
he forthwith hunt up our Mayor, take
a good, square look at him, and tl.ea
come back to US and make contri
and humble apology.
We further advised hat stranger,
In prosecuting his search for Tom
Taylor, not to ask every citizen be
chanced to meet "Are you the May
or of Ellisyille?n but to inquire ''Can
you tell me where can find Mayor
Taylor?' We explained to the stran-
ger that he would not fnd all of our
male population 70 patient and for
bearing as we ara, and II he mistook
4 few more men for Tom Taylor his
hide wouldn't hold shucks when he
got out OF town.
The stranger thanked US and moved
onward.
Now, any one would surmiss thAs
Mayor Taylor would be highly Ella d
and complimented to have the Editor
OF this paper mistaken for him, and
that he would be strutting around
town like peacock.
But strange to relate, when the sto-
ry reached the ears OF his Honor, be
got as mad as q whole flock OF wet
hens, and summoning Marshal Devall
10 lose nls job instanter, to
told that efficient officer unless he
arrest forthwith q half-blind, danger
Gus lunatic who was perambulating
over town inquiring for him; to keep
that criminal in The calaboose on
bead and-wa,cr for ninety days when
be would sentence him fer the balaueel
to his life to the chain-gang. Il
But after an interview with that
inquiring stranger Mayor Taylor was
pacided and agreed to lei him depart
N peace. The fellow staisd that he
ans. TO Ellisville to see its Mayor on
public business and iocf,f 4 ~ a