Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1913-10-24
HuW0R is FOUND
IN ADVERTISING
Desire to Draw Trade Crops Out
in Unexpected Places and
at Odd Times.

Undoubtedly a real genius II respon-
sible for the pronunciamento that 1t
takes rich man to draw a check, q
pretty girl to draw attention. q horse
to draw a cart, mustard plaster to
draw the skin, q topper to draw q cork,
free lunch to day a crowd, and an
advertisement to draw. trade.
1t la along this latter line, for the
purpose OF drawing trade. that a news
paper exclusively for beggars Ia pub
hshed In Paris. It's columns are filled
with notices OF funerals, baptismS,
weddings and other social and public
events calculated to guarantee gen
erous responses to pathetic appeals
from the beggars who, thus apprised.
flock to the scene of the functions,
night or day.
A choice sample of humor in adver-
Using is furnished by the notice Of
dissolution Of a disastrous business
venture between two gentlemen of
color in the south. The following bon
mot for insertion in the local paper
was >penned by the survivor OF the
wreck
DE copartnership heretofore re-
sisting twixt Nose Skinner en- me am
dis day resolved. Dem what owes de
firm will settle wild me, en- dem what
de firm owes will settle wild Nose"
About the last place in which one
would look for advertising is the
churchyard, but it has been demon
strated that even there all Ia fish that
comes to the net of the far-reaching
advertiser 1t Ia recorded of q Ger
tain shopkeeper possessing grim
sense of humor that he had his grave
dug and tombstone erected at Its
head some years before his death. On
the marble he caused to be inscribed:
Here lies John Emerson, the Best
Halter in Ohio"
a Canadian firm went this one bet
ter. The senior partner having pass
ed to his reward, his business ascot
ates erected monument to his mem
Dry. The tombstone bore these words:
Here lies Abram Stokes. founder Of
the firm of Stokes, Stokes & Co., who
for many years have manufactured
pickles and bottled fruits. Best OF
all and without q rival"
For her late husband grief strick-
en- widow across the ocean put up a
stone with this touching inscription
upon it: Here lies -, dear depart
ed husband Of -. who now carries
on his business of general outftter,
and always gives good value; terms
cash"
Bill Nye, the lamented provoker Of
smiles, once had COW to sell, or pro-
fessed to have, and he advertised the
animal in this manner:
Owing to my Ill health, will sell
at my residence In the township 10.
range 10, according to the government
survey one plush raspberry COW, CIV
ing milk frequently. To a man who
does not fear death In any form she
would be great boon. She is very
much attached to her present home
with stay chain, but she will be sold
to anyone who will treat her right
She is one-fourth Shorthorn and three
fourthE hyena. / will also throw in
double-barreled shotgun, which goes
with her. In May she usually goes
away for week or two and returns
with tall red calf with wobbly legs.
Her name is Rose. | would rather sell
to a nonresident"
In the want columns Of an English
newspaper not long since appeared the
following notice: "Widower, living re-
tired, without encumbrance, would like
to correspond With lady about forty.
with small means, with one leg pre-
ferred. with a view to an early mar
rage 1t is to be regretted that the
advertiser did not explain why he pre-
ferred a one-legged helpmate.
Another Englishman in his home pa
per boldly declared his want of q
wife, who must be quite dumb and
deaf, at least fifty years OF age, and
who hates music, children, pet dogs
and strong drink