davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

| There are other ways of finding trou-
bic than by being President of Mex
leo believes Your Uncle Dudley, who
knows. one of the best ways is by
getting up Il family picnic. We got
one up this year We We're the anEora
of the occasion. and the event came
Oft to-day.
1t was an experiment. in the first
place. we wanted 10 sec just how
many OF the relatives would speak
TO one another. We found out.
Never again.
The next time we want to spend a
pleasant day we are going to 20 and
hunt up some nice quiet boiler shop,
where the hammcring is not so loud
as it is at family picnic If We
can't lind boiler shop. we arc going
To go and hunt up nice choice Cen
trail American revolution and spend the
dag on the battlefield. on a battle
neld they don't shoot anything at YOU
but bullets
Relatives who don't like one am
other are always nasty nice
That's the way our picnic started
out. They were all so nice to one an
other that they didn't act natural. and
a cloud about the size of woman $
tongue appeared on the horizon. on
the way out it was the calm before
the storm. and everybody made such
a point OF being polite that they made
word that was said contained 10 per
cent sincerity a"d 80 per cent sar-
casni. and by the time we got to the
picnic grounds the cloud that had an
pcared on the horizon in the early
morning now cnveloped the entire
heaven and there wasn't a bright spot
anywhere IN the picnic party.
Every branch of our more or less IL
luStrious family brought its own lunch
basket and ate out of 1t. drawing it
self away from all OF the other
branches Of the family. Thus when
We sat down 10 dinner. our family was
scattered until it covered hftecn acres
OF ground
The relatives who were remembered
In grandtathcr's will. went out 10 the
picnic grounds in their eighty candle
power. seven passenger Jabbcrwocl-
oshkosh. and the poor relations went
out on the street car. Can any one
III his widest dreams imagine these
t"" factions getting together and hay
ing good time Al a picnic?
The situation became SO strained \,
o'clock in the afternoon that two
old maid aunts who had lived together
IN harmony for forty years had quar-
rel between themselves and decided TO
build two-foot PARTITION in their
house.
PERSONALS. a pleasant time was had.
We pulled nine Kids out OF the river.
sat down in a custard pie. accumu-
lated large population of chirgcrs
and walked four miles for water which
the realtiVcs didn't dare drink FOR fear
1t was poisoned
by o'clock in tho afternoon every
member OF the party hated MS with an
undNlng antagonism for having or
sanized the picnic.
Never again. We are going 10 bury
these clothes and forget the incident
ii we can.
Relatives will happen in the best OF
families but If YOU meet them in
social way, II is your own fault
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
VIEWS OF THE
VIRGINIA EDITORS


There has been a very sudden and
nnureaGle collapse % ciyil War in.
trI"s, lu the country especially at
The North since the GETTYSBURG re-
union. one newspaper SAID: Now
can "c sit together and break tho
nIcHd OF peace iprcvcrmote. for hence
f"ith the tiY!l Var j. q silent toast"
cot by lard long And yard vide!
DO" % IA these woods the children
Sco!u 70 bc told that the civil war
was begun. centred and settled at
tlitoEs prize package coupon FOR the
NorihcYn and fcdcrn! section OF tho
country save for Gettysburg, whore
the battle was drawn and both armies
actually have been left AT tho end OF
noAOlltics holding an empty bag wait
iNs FOR snipc. There would not have
been Tor them a nickel pla Ted historical
souvenir Withlu their two and a half
million square miles OF territory Hence
Getty Sburg looms very large and pre-
cions 10 that people. and Meade, who
sat ia fne saddle on that day and
saw phrt OF the nghi. viii pass ALWAYS
as a great general
hu'' say: D9n,i YOU remember that
look ~ among Mrs. Jarlev's wax ng-
ures youll lind Federal generals four
times bigger at the g!rth than Meade
that We're stood up in q row so as 10
be COUNTED when il came lime 10 write
UP the history OF the civil War But
mat tl'ne won't come til old Time
himself seasons the soup with few
more wartime history liars.
Gettysburg was Fourth Of JULY
racket--and great racket L, was
TOO. But what OF the forty other
battles, In which Mcdowell, Mcclellan,
Pope, Burnside, Hooker and other mar
tlal gcnuiscs met the same army that
lined up under Lee and won TWO battles
out OF three at Gettysburg? Think
we're going TO forget those forty other
blk nights and big victories? Cues.
not.-fortsmouth star.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
OFF TO HELP GRENrEI.L.

With a crew Of young university men
aboard. and laden with supplies. the
schooner George Cluett dropped out of
Hoston harbor the other afternoon and
headed northward for Labrador With
the vessel went tho prayers and good
wishes of thousands Of Americans, for
the Cluett Is bound for Or. Grenfelrs
mission
one does not have 10 be churchinnn
to wish e;renfeli we'll one does not
have to be pious to pray him success.
one does not have to thrill with mis-
sionary fervor to feel his heart beat
up at the thought Of the good man
whose heroic deeds have brought new
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
Voice Of the eople
Let Administrative Bonrd Give Part
Ilmc for IcNs pnX

To the Editor OF The Times Dispatc h
Now that tho excitement incident to
the recent disgraccful episode in the
Administrative Board has subsidized.
II may no: ne am.ss briefly 10 con-
slider the board itself-its constitution
and the likelihood. as at present or
gani@ed, o! its success
Tbs idea OF administrative boards
is not bad on the contrary, It IS
good. provided they are not hand!-
capped BY requirements inimical to
success. We. however have unfortu-
natc!y handicapped our board in two
material respects, which, unless re-
pealed. may not inprobably eventuate
ere long in its downfall
The principal handicap is the or
Ganic requirement that the members
Of the board devote their whole time
TO the city, Though unnecessary, this
would not have been wrong, hut the
Council made il wrong-i. g, unwise-
by making the salary s.. 000--too small
for hrsi-class mon. conjoincd with
whole time. but entirely too large for
the class OF men likely 10 be obtained.
for no man capable of earning near
$4,000 in business Of his own (and
only such are worthy OF membership
would for Il moment think of accept
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
Help wanted: Petersburp

The Newport News Press publishes a
statement from the representative of a
steamship line. which would seem to
offer a solution OF the domestic servant
problem. not only for Newport News
hut for other Virginia cities The
agent Of the Norway Mexico Gulf line
at Newport News. in q communication
to the secretary OF the Chamber OF
Commerce of that city, states that his
line Will bring in Woodworking girl,
from foreign countries. anxious to Sc
cure employment as house servants
Employers would have to advance $40
the cost of transportation for the SER
want. but one-half OF this sum would
no repaid from the wages Of the SER
want Cooks must ba paid SIS a month
and housemaids SIC.
II would be about as easy for n Pc
tersburg housewife to obtain ser
want in the manner outlined MS for a
housewife of Newport News to get ona
in that notwithstanding Index Apn,aI
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
SECRETARY BRNAN'S NICARAGUA
pKOIi;CTOItNTE.

The proposed treaty OF secretary OF
S'a'o bryan WIN Nic"rasna now he
'oIe me senate Committee ON Foreign
-t'iai'S ana Ehich contcmplates a
virtual pfo!Hct.fe'~"over that Central
.4''-'t''A' 'epo''.e' involves long step
.' a"'a"'e "i 'N' N"oN-T"i' treaties
"''n N''ai"a'a ana honduras mat
WIRE rejected under the criticism Of
"'''"i "tp''ma'% These, n brief,
'ii' me o'l'eH states should
-'' ''' '''''''''" ana protect
'"e '"S'''''s revenues oi 'Ae TWO re-
I'"'''1S '' 'r''' 10 insure pay meni OF
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

ins a city salary. precar,ous at best.
OF $1,000. But. for part time. with
liberty to engage In private business.
$4,000 would be sufficient TO attract our
ab!est and most experienced citizens
men who would take pride IA their
once. and who would shed lus,rc and
beneht upon the city
Bat salary OF 5000 is entirely TOO
large. it would be riches To such as
We could probably get. and would at
tract cloud Of candidates from among
the impecunious or those needing "A
job. and from the average
And such proved to be the case al
the primary for the board not a
single prominent man was candidate
hut there were 4 dozen or more cantl-
dates whose chief claim was a hun
Ger for what 10 most Of them would
be riches And the result. judging By
picture recently published. was Il
board that !mprcsses one with a sense
IF I'm maturity or mcdiocr.ty. and the
only ono appearing mature has most
cmphatically demonstrated that. in
his case at least. maturity has not
brought wisdom
y saIary cf $4,000 would have been
ample. AMI would have meant wealth
for most Of the candidates, and is
Doubtless more than any member OF.
tho board has ever earned. OF can earn,
in any business Of his own.
To .btGu n board 10 guarantee sue
cess. IN, requirement OF whole time
snoull be .cpealed. and then a salary
OF 5000 wiM attract the best men.
but ncvar otherwise. This. however
VIII not u easy, because Il VIII at
tract tho opposition OF all WHO, under
the reuuir emeut Of whole time. have
even faint hope of election.
II the @ tho
it must be composed OF men o: APP
proved merit. and Of experience in
large affairs; but ii is believed that
this can come about only by repeal
ing the requirement OF whole time
Repeal and save the board or fail 10
repeal and ii would not be surprising
should public opinion. ere long, de-
mand the abolition OF the board.
CIVIS.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
Ministers Arc Not MoneyMnkcrs.

To the Editor OF Tie Times Dispatch:
Sir.-ln the editorial headed should
Pastor BE Allowed to Raise Onions" in
a recent issue OF your paper. IL Is un-
fortunate that the drift OF the said
article is 10 put too much emphasis on
the oft-discuSsed and hackneycd sub
ject of pastors salaries. You wrote in
very light. joking vein. with quite "a
bit Of sarcasm apparent in your nings.
at what seems to be the pcnuriousnesS
of the church in the matter Of minis
terial support While it is true that
the average pay for the support of
preachers is small. 1t ought to be kept
in mind that the ministry wasn't in
intended by tho Founder of the Chris
business. When men enter the Chris
tan ministry for the sake of amassinS
money, ii will be sad day for OUR
Lords Church
This spirit OF greed and gain. so
prevalent in the world. ir II should
dominate preachers of the gospel every
where would be great calamity. The
Master taught that the laborcr is
worthy of his hire" and every minis
ter of the gospel is entitled TO a liberal
support While ii is true that great
many faithful ministers receive httic
pay and have to practice sell DENIAL
and make great sacrifices 1t Is also
true that they get along ana are happE
in their work for the Master. who had
no resting place He could call home,
IIippodromc clowns ana VandeNiile
performers are in their business Tor the
money but when the preacher gets on
the same par in respect to gain II VIII
be sad day for the church of God
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

To the Editor OF Tho Times Dlspatch:
S!r.-T want to thank you for so
clearly pointing out what the executive
hoard Of the State Federation should
have done instead OF what they, did do
Ii the board had done what the clos
ing paragraph in your editorial suR
gcsts there would have been no criti
cism OF their action. Instead Of that
they simply adonted abort resolution
declaring il ms their opinion that la Dor
men should support Mr.. Brown.
IF Mr. Koincr's record is bad one
from wOrkinCman's standpoint. and
Mr. Browns record is a good one from
the same point OF view. or vice versa
tho duty dovolved upon the executive
board to give these records TO the
working people and let them act as
their conscience suggested.
A declaration simply declaring II &c
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

II Is important 10 remind members
OF the city Council, the various organi-
cations of business men. as we'll as
citizens Of Lynchburg generally that
the reform OF the system OF taxation
in Virginia which now seems likely by
the next session Of the General Assem-
bly, in January, 1914, will vitality affect
this city and its interests.
In this connection, IL Is not too early
TO suggest that the presidents of the
two branches of the City Council and
Of tho business mems organizations
and other bodies, il deemed propcr.
name members of n joint committee TO
take up and consider the various plans
OF tax reform so that when the uucs-
ton comes up for discussion and nc
ton in the General Assembly our rep
iesentativcs there will be in a position
10 know what the local sentiment is
and what the local situation will be
under the various schemes for reform.
-LynchburE Advance.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

We have a leader am sure.
Who VIII act FOR us just right
And be able To steer and lure
Our ships right into port.
W. will not need To fear
hut what he'll guide Us through;
With all his might hell steer
Hetween the trusts that lcer
i ne forever busts tho trusts
He'll not allow old money bars
To raise the price on as
Hell make them pay for every cent
And all whose energies arc ben,
TO making money 10 be lent
VII stop and ponder once or twice.
And maybe say II IL so nice
To take II easy for time
VIII lean back in their chair arf
smile
Let the other fellow try awhile.
I've got cnough-why should care9
II those poor people. who are near.
Get sugar coffee and such things
\ little cheaper III get wings
MRS. V. T.. rEpUE
Richmond
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
On the Spur Of the
Moment
By Roy K. Moulton
T'hc system.

The system.
When all the town is swathed In heat
And asphalts melting in the street,
Keep cool
When it's so hot you can't keep ice,
And can't buy more ut amy price.
Just follow this profound advice.
Keep cool.
When there is not a breath OF air,
That YOU can dig up anywhere,
Keep cool.
When it's II hundred in the shade.
When wits are frazaled and are fraycd
BE not discouraged or dismayed.
Keep cool
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

be their opinion that Mr. Brown was
inc best man * worth no more ,hau
the labor ORGANIZATIONS Thor actioi,
- calculat"d rather 10 help MIR Koiuer
than to iujure him. FOR th. average
man VIII naturally conclude that III
that pcnilcmans record Was b,d ~
executive board would have been oi.I,.
too anxious 70 have given puhlirity Ia
II INC peop!. Want facts, not opiulons
Respectfully.
W II MULLEN
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
SUGGESTIONS rou SEGREGATION


We have boon much pleased ,o OBJ
serve the spiri, with which tho press
Of tho Commonwealth has received Mr.
Moore's plan OF segregation and to
note that despite the very obvious de-
fccts Of this tentative scheme. The
newspapers are inclined to applaud Nj,
Moore for his careful study ana to make
suggestions Of real value
or these papers, few seem 10 have
given moro study TO tho matter than
the Ivnchhurr Nc,vs In recent ar
ticle the Ncws calls attention to Ger
tain APPARENT errors in Mr. Moores
tables. ANA concludes with these point
ed observations on the plan:
First. care should he had as to
the correctness of estimates
Second. the maximum rate on IN
tausihlo property should BE- iucvoascd-
certainly TO tho inclusion Of that ror-
tion which now goes to the state.
Third. cities ana counties should re-
ceivo tina; part Of the poll tax to which
as the Richmond Times Dispatch insists,
they are guaranteed by the Consti,u-
ton
Fourth renewed effort to cquaiize
the volume of gain and burden of
losses as between counties and cities
wtth view at least Of seriously Grip
ping mono OF them.
Firth. provision for wider margin OF
surplus between estimated state gov
crnmcnt oNpcrses and receipts
Wc heartily agrcc with all cf these
suggestions except the second We
can certainly not hope intcllircntly to
discuss a plan unless it is I'm accurate
form; We must correct such errors as
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

complimentary reference to II Southern |
writer in New England reference |
book or review. We should incline to
the belief that we had mistaken the |
birth placc of the writer
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
&
ANSWERS
Transfers, Etc.

Did the board OF arbitration decide
that the Richmond and Hcnrico line
should pay the old line cents for every
transfer given, even on labor tickets?
What is the estimated number of words
in English? s J.
II did 100000
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
F l. | E S /!

Horse manure is the principal
matching place for flies.
II cnn he made sterile with conl
oil. cnrboiic acid, copperns water or
dry lonm by mixing thoroughly.
Horscmcn, stnbiemcn, owners of
horses and sanitary inspectors, pay
attentions. Cut this out,
Let 1913 he nyicss yenr-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

What is the rate OF increase OF heat
towards the centre of the earth? If
this continues. why il not the whole
interior of the earth in a melted state?
MISS ADA $
% The average rise in temperature
Is one degree Fahrenheit for each atty
feet on approach TO the centre ,2)
Perhaps il is. The general theory now
is, however, that the earth is solid to
the centre. The enormous heat en-
to the centre of the earth would not
necessarily be sufficient to fuse the
minerals: as their melting point would
the increase Of pressure would he rapid
as compared with the increase of heat
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

Tho CO, ana mouse law In Similar,
SEEMS 70 mako Mrs raukhms, play
puas in thc-corncr.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

National State and City Bank
invites You TO open an account either
subject to check or at 81 interest
inits Savings Department *
CAPITAL and SURPLUS $l6OQO0o0o
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
CIiapInlns.

What is the highest rank of chan
ms in the United States Army and
Navy? 6. l. BUTLER.
Army, major; Navy. captain.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
CnrncrIc pcn.inn. .,.

Where may ! get full information
about the Carnegie teachers pension
and about the Hasty Pudding Club at
Harvard? MRS i T. Al
The secretary, Clyde Furst. SIG Fifth
Avenue. New York City. can give the
Information about the first The
librarian. Harvard University, Cam
bridge, Mass, can inform you as to the
second.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

" is consolinp TO Remember mat
while The phil"mthropis,s are feeding
ne mothers TO get better babies ,hev
are also getting better mothers.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

history question in The schools Of
''a Name that obscure prcsldcr, vno
ma" Hiyan ana Daniels ia his CABINET?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

SiEncrs.
Can YOU tell me which OF the sieners
lived to the greatest age and which
died earliest? T. r BOWEN -
Charles Carroll. of Maryland, and
James Smith, OF Pennsylvania both
lived to ninety six. Thomas Lynch. of
South Carolina. died at thirty. These
are the extremes.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23
Chemical Dnnk,

Chemical Hunk.
Please give me tho address of the
Chemical Bank in New York CITY.
l.. T.. l..
270 Broadway. New York CITY"
would be sufficient address
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

We have n quantity of the peel of
ORANGES and lemons. Can any use be
made of it? r
The only suggestion made here is
tina pickle factories might buy.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1913-07-23

"I.Or hfnNnr.T
Whore may I find the poem. "I.ochin-
war; MISS NI NJ S
Originally in Scotts "Marmion." and.
copied from there in many collections
school readers, etc.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1913-04-03
Frost Warnings

Director of the Weather Bureau
Wells of Boise was in town Monday
and made arrangements to give EN-
NETT fruit growers warning of cold
waves during the spring months. Ad-
ditional instruments have been add
ed to the former equipment here, and
readings will be taken every after
noon at o'clock, then sent by wire
to Boise. Many other stations in the
state will do the same. From these
reports Director Wells will compile
his representations and send them
out to the different stations. This
report will be received every evening
at the local telephone Office by o.
clock and those desiring to learn what
the weather will be during the night
will be able to get the information by
telephoning central. Members of the
club will take charge of the weather
station here.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1913-04-03
Drainage of Swamps.

The drainage of the swamp lands
extending from Freezeout hill to Fall
was presented by W. G. Sloan, an en-
ploye of the drainage division of the
government agricultural department
The facts and figures as presented by
him were given in last weeks Index
He strongly urged prompt arction in
taking the necessary steps to organ
ize a drainage district under the
state law, stating that he had re-
ceived positive assurance from bond
buyers that the bonds of such a dis
trict could be Immediately sold. He
said that the preliminary work, such
as making a survey in order to fix
the boundaries of the district and
circulating petitions praying for the
organization of the district, would
have to be done by the land owners
and Emmett people, as the drainage
law made no provision for that work.
He estimated the expense at not to
exceed $3.50.
Acting upon his suggestion, it was
decided to call meeting of owners
of land in the proposed district and
business men to be held Saturday af-
ternoon at o'clock in the Club rooms
F. A. DeClark and D. NJ. John were
appointed as a committee to notify
as many land owners as possible of
the meeting and urge their attend
ance.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1913-04-03

hard of hearing and that he would
have to talk very loud. Mac took the
bait and even swallowed the hook.
Did he talk loud? Go ask the neigh
bors for blocks around-notice the
shingles that flew off the roof-see
the boulders that rolled off the hills
into the valleys-take note Of the
pine trees on the Dry Buck hills that
look as if they had suffered from buck
ague. 1t was "May help you to po-
tatoes?" "Do you prefer the leg or
the wishbone?" "Try some of this
and that-all home brew, you know"
And all of it was in high C with all