davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16
Yarns Of the Courthouse Gang
ny WELLINGTON vANDIsrn

1he gang had been listening to the
ullskered gaas of patent medicine ven
dor. who had for hours entertained a
crowd Of yokels, aud buneoed them into
buying his stuff and had departed as the
gang sat at It's usual place
The sheriff was in a reminiscent mood,
the talk had drifted along on the subject
of catches in jokes. minstrel show gags,
sells in various fashions. and sundry
episodes, where the narrator either sold
cut his auditor OF bit, and got sold him
self.
About four years ago, unused the sher-
iff.' Atlanty drummer for snuff fac
tory treed me and got Inc clear out on
a limb. Me and the drummer vas argu-
ing about different breeds of men and
their habits. and relating to each other
arrests. train robberies and divers fra
casses, where tubs of blood had been
shed and such. when Old Snuffv cuts In
with episode with a catch in it. which
your uncle bit at. and got chawed good
and proper.
/" You Alabama IInlbnlies. says he.
has some tolerable hectic serimmages.
but the casualties resulting therefronl
don't add up like it does among your
cousins, the Georgia Crackers. The dlf-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16
CHINA'S GREAT NEED
is HABIT OF READING
Stay Lee Believes Hope of Republic
Lies in New School
System

From the Chicago Evening Past.
Those organizing the new Chinese re-
public are working only on the top and
forgetting the people, is the opinion OF
Prince Stay Lee. of Ching Ting. Shan
Sc. China. a Manchu nobleman and a
graduate of oxford. who is visiting Chi
eago.
The prince though offered post In the
cabinet of the republic considered HIM
self too young for the responsibility, since
he is still in his twenties, and decided to
see more of the world before taking up
the public duties for which his high birth
places him in line.
He was not reluctant to give his opinion
today of the course along which he would
guide the infant republic il he had that
responsibility. In tho first place. he
would tell the European powers and the
United States. which are hagglinge over
the terms of a loan to finance the new
government, to keep their money.
Il believe China is great enough to care
FOR her own needs he said "a small
tax when spread over the whole vast pop
ulation would raise the needed amount.
It might cause some immediate hard
ships, but it would result In betterng
the condition of the people for all time to
come.
The form of government IS not 50
greatly important. The condition of
nation depends much more upon the
character and ability of its citizens. The
first thing China needs is education, uni
versal education. Before anything else
is attempted a great system of public
schools much like those you have in this
country must be established.
81 should like to see every person in
China able to read. / should like to see
them form the habit of reading as you
do in this country. Here, everywhere.
when you see people with a bit of time
on their hands they are not found sitting
with their hands folded and their brains
inactive. They use 1t in reading book,
newspaper or something. And they
must gather sone idea or bit of llnowl-
edge they did not have before every time
| they do this.
"Education must be the foundation.
Then a right form of government
must result because the people arc
| intelligent enough TO make their power
| felt in demanding 1t. II is stupid to con-
eentrate all your effort on establishing
a governmental form only to find that
| the mass of the people who must keer
| 1t in operation are not well enough in
| formed TO use it,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

ference between you is that the Cracker
IS more fiercer, more blood thirsty. and
more ready TO devour his prey after slas-
ing him than you Alabamians.
L admit that you fellows are homi-
eides, all right. but you don't mutilafc
seur victim. You simply siaughters him.
and lets it so at that, but the Georgia
cracker aint built that way. His thirst
Tor gore amt satisfied until he piles up u
hrst class holocaust aud sheds blood
enough TO paint car shed. At first, l
used to have heart failure at sight OF
these blood thirsty Crackers, but as ev-
cry one of these little cross roads Geor-
gia stores bought snuff very lavish and
them Crackers was always sitting about
The stores, 1 got rather used 10 them and
urbent to that degree that occasionally
attended their dances, or ''shin digs IS
them Cracks called this social function.
Over on Heifer creek, at Bulls Gap
in Buttermilk Cove. Cow-Eta County.
Georgy. there was a shin dig that collect
cd mighty near every Cracker. male and
female, for 20 miles. There was one awful
pooty girl present. She was human
hollyhock, round, and strong with eyes
like stars, and the minute ! seen her |
proceeded to cotton up to her. as soft as
goose grease.
= AS you can see. / am right smart Of
d. 6bOU lpOkcI myself anu On TINS uItA-
sion had Solomon. and the lilies OF the
valley beat 10 FRAGILE with regular Au-
rora- -Borealis raiment. / was wearing a
lot of glad rags from Atlanty--red cravat.
tan shoes, Thousand candlepower cravat
pin, blue shirt. and green celluloid col
lar, and as | could sling conversation like
a futter mill, it wasn't long before 1 had
a ripe tomato mash on that mountain
honeysuckle.
/ danced with her the first set. and the
way I handed them Rubes the latest
thing in the shape of Cutting the Buck, -
THE Buzzard LOPEZ" the "Piney Woods
France" and the Hoe Down" and other
Terpsichorean stunts, just simply made
their eyes bulge out like busted grapes.
Them gangling Jays just stood around
in the corners when they wasn't out taxi
ing a drink and glared at me same as
Wildcats.
When the second set was called |
hoped out Oh the floor, mighty spry, with
my buxom Podner and paralyzed them
With a miscellaneous lot of capers and jig
steps not invoiced in the first shipment,
greatly TO the admiration of my Holly
hook.
When me and her quit that dance
each of us had a complacent smlrk, as
tiekled as a lid with his first long trous-
ers. | shore felt that she was the Belle
OF the ball, and that l was the Bell
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

the soeietyfs agent in That city. Ae-
eording TO this announcement. the pro
cess of preparing the fuels IS the IN
vention of G. L. Heyl. chief consult
Ing engineer Of the Letters Patent lnsaf-
ance company. and 7. Thorne Blake.
It seems that the experiments have
thus far been tried on an internal eom-
bustion engine driving an electric
lighting set. but are now to be made
IN a motor car on the road. No change
il the existing form of cafburetor is
required save the reduction Of the jet
or inlet TO approximately one-haf its
original size. When this has been done
the fuels operate successfully. In Tie
English newspapcg Mr., Heyl was quoted
as saying that the basis of the develop
ment was tho discovery of a chemical
means of raising tho temperature Of
the vanor and air at the moment Of eN-
posion so as 20 secure more complete
combustion than has hitherto been OBJ
tanned Absence of small is one OF tho
benefits claimed for the discovery. Mr..
Hevl was further quoted as follows
''Even benzol can be transformed 50
as to be efficiently worked without
special vaporizer. We are hoping to
eventually produce an effective fuel for
motor cars and other oil engines from
crude oil.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

ocratie- victory. The old migrate is fat.
and pain spoken, he hates a sham.
and he is sure that heaven is Just like
his old home in North Carolina. A
short while ago I made him visit, at
his tavern. and while we were seated
in rocking chairs, finding new Yir-
tues in Old Dick s liquor, and discuss
ing things mutual, that landlord cuts
in with observations something like
this:
Talking about that blame babboon
of a niger porter that Andy nigger
sah, lie hasn't got any more judgment
than scared built A month ago that
blanketty blank fool of a niger por
ter come prancing up here with pin
feather preacher from the north, somc-
where, instead of saving him off on
the opposition hotel. Blamed niger
IDIOT lie knowed | never charged a
minister of the gospel for grub, and
Keep. | have got too dam much respect
for my religion to do that To make II
still worse that cussed hiatus of an
ellipsis of Il Niger porter bedded down
the parson in our best front room; you
know a nigger thinks u preacher with
Jim-swinger Prince Albert coat on,
lis a bigger thing than the Pennermaw
canal! Yes, sab, he located that the
ological duck right i'm among my lace
curtins, and my private parafee-na- icy,
Including the bottle on the mantle,
which Is kept for strictly medical pur-
poses. and when | want 1t, for a toddy,
land the deck of cards on the table, as
you have heretofore noticed. Jevver
hear of such fool conduct except from
niger porter? That travelling rev.
erend sniffed--at the bottle, glared at
the paste boards and then he squared
around and begun on me powerful
lvigrus. Says he, in refrigerator tone
lof voice: W
| - Brother Shuckers. what orthodox, ec-
ecclesiastical denomination do you affiliate
with?" 1 told him that right now, |
wasn't an active member of any organf-
| zation. except the democratic party,
though I had once been a vivid PROPOSE
ton in the ISu-Klux. lie rolled his eyes
| and groaned like a horse with the collie,
and filtered some remarks through his
nose-"such awful ignorance? I am not
referring to carnal associations; like those,
but / ASH you If you belong TO any
church, Told him all my folks was
I shouting. pizen, deepwater Baptists, but
! / didn't feel like ! had religion enough to
| jine that church. and get immersed espe-
cially as 1t always makes me sick to get
wet.
Then. that bilious reverend lit in
and ripped the democrats into doll rags.
snorted about the crude and unfounded
| uoctllit VI ihiilei Siohf anu AohiSd a' eHN
| ignorance and vishiousness of us, south
ern folks. closing with a hectic state
ment that / needed a change of heart,
and that 7 was acting like nobody but
me. and that niger porter. Andy, was
going to get TO heaven,
This iolting from a high colared d-
vine who was devouring my grub free.
gratis and for nothing, sorter reused my
dandcr. ! told him the democratic party
and the Baptist church was both old
enough to take care of themselves-that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

his best box OF cigars with alaority. L
viii be glad to charge these cigars to
you until the bet can be decided, and YOU
need not paw until the thing comes off
on which you are betting
Each man pocketed a fist full of cigars
and proceeded to light up and smoke.
George rubbed his hands together and
obsequiously asked. Well gentlemen
what was the bet?
THE slowest talking customer answered
with drawl: Why, we'er, wagered a
dollars worth of these stinkers on this
event: I bet that when the waterworks
tank fell It would fall to the north, and
Bill, here, he bets that it will-er, hit
the ground, falling SOUTH
The sewing machine agent felt that
1t was his turn to contribute to the
education of the gang, SO he proceeded
as follows: There is a nigger porter
for the Buster House at Jayville, with
voice onto him like a syren steam
whistle. When the train stops at that
village that porter opens up like a
dynamite explosion in a phonograph
factory II the locomotive pops off
steam while that nigger is roofing for
his hotel that nigger's voice makes the
feeble effort of the engine sound like
the wind blowing through the key
soted crosstie, bowlcgged and has a
mouth like the Amazon river. OF course
his name is ANDY niger Of that
description just couldn't have any 9TH
er name.
mot long since I got off the cars at
that village, and Andy proceeded to
bust my ear drums with his grand op-
cry whoops about the Buster house.
NY hat had got bunged up in colliding
with the sideeof the car, and | wanted
to get that Derby slicked up and clean
ed, so | sidled up to Andy and asked
him in a low tone, rs there any haber-
dashery here% Any dropped his voice
so that it couldn't be heard moro than
three hundred yards away, and asked
me in tone that was meant to be a
whisper, whats dat you say boss%
repeated the question. And he scratched
his wool and moved up close to me,
saving Boss ! knows most of dem
dictionary words you drummers hand
out. but this one sorter compleXuates
my circumstances. Then, winking az
me knowingly, he whispered: Boss,
does you want game of pokah--or is
you after whisky?
LAS I am a minister of the gospel
and prohibitionist, as well as the
agent for the best practical sewing
machine ever invented by man and
the only automatic. self-reversing.
self running. self-righteous, three-ply
hemstitching sewing machine on the
American continent. ] scorned the sug-
gestion of this hotel senegambian.2
"There are two hotels in that VII
lage," said the TaN Assessor. ''and my
counsin. Old Dick Shuckers. kept the
tavern where Andy officiated Old
Dick is a unflinching democrat, and a
original secesh his folks go to church
regular. though Old Dick never attends
divine service, except just after DEM
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

what We needed at our hotel MAS not
change of heart. but change of liver.
Notified him that Our style of doing, ard
our pattern OF religion suited us, and
We didn't propose 10 change II because
some hyphenafed, typho-malarial. clerical
ass from Goldfish Flats thought different!
THAT parson stayed at my hotel for q
week. and devoured chicken-fiNings and
hot grub. like nigger at n corn shuek-
ing. Eh2 Did | charge him anything Tor
his board2 Weller, naw-hot exactly
Cor board. but assessed him SIS for
sass-tust plain sass. Charged him for
his law under the general head of sass
and made him pay it, too. It's mighty
seldom that I take sass from anybody,
but when [ do always charge market
prices for the same. .Loolz here podner.
vou surely haven't forgot the REMARK that
the governor of North Kalli'ny made TO
the governor of South kallai'ny, Here's
at vert
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16
this BOOK
Is FREE
The Mysteries Of HypnOtlsm and
Personal Magnetism
Revealed.

Herbert L. Flint, ono of the best known
hypnotists in the world, has Just published
magnetism r and magnetic healing. It is BY
far the most wonderful and comprehensive
treatise of the kind ever printed. Mr.. Flint
has decided to give, for limited time, 8
free copy TO every person sincerely inter
book is based upon years of practical
experience by man who has aypnotized
more people than any Other one person.
You can now learn the secrets of hypno-
tism and personal magnetism at your own
home free.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16
USING NEW MOTOR
FUEL IN ENGLAND
Paraffin and Alcohol May
Be Cheaply Converted for
Power

From the New York Times.\
Believing that it might mean much as
a solution OF the fuel problem which is
now focus Of interest in the automo-
bile world, members Of the National
Highways Protective Society ware not
a little interested yesterday in news of
a series of new fuels which have been
derived in England from gasoline, ben
zoline. paraffin and alcohol Il was said
that economies varying from 50 to 90
per cent had been effected by the use
of these fuels, although the cost OF
producing them from the oils or spirits
from which they are derived was put
NJ not more than one-eighth of a.
cent a gallon. Col Edward c. Cornell,
secretary of the society, had yesterday
an announcement of the results of ex-
periments with these new fuels, printed
in tho London Standard and sent by
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

3 Hypnotism strengthens your memory and de-
selops your will. 1t overcomes bashfulness,
revives hope, stimulates ambition and deter
nination to succeed 1t gives you that self
confidence which enables you to convince people
az your real worth. 1t gives YOU the key 10
the inner secrets of mind control. 1t enables
YOU to control the thoughts and actions OF
others. When you understand this grand and
mysterious science, you can plant suggestions
IN human minds which will be carried out in
n day or even year hence. You can cure
had habits and diseases in yourself and others.
You can cure yourself of insomnia, nervous
ness and business or domestic worry. You can
instantaneously hypnofze people with mere
glance of the eye without their knowledge and
powerfully influence them to do as you desire.
You can develop TO a marvellous degree any
musical or dramatic talent you may have. You
can increase your telepathic or clairyoyant
powers. You can give thrilling and funny hyp-
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and everlasting friendship Of those You de-
sire You can protect yourself against the in
dnence of others. YoH become a financial
success and be recognized as power in your
community.
This book of Flint's will tell you how to
learn the. secret of attaining these things.
FHnt is the most successful and best known
hfpnotst in the. world. He has appeared be-
fore thousands Of audiences; He will carry out
every promise faithfully. IL you want Il copy
Of this free book. send your name and address
pn postal card-no n,oney-to Herbert L.
will receive the book by return mail postpaid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-02-16

for company two
Elizabeth their
Of York. which
of
appropriate setting
An Enzabethan
Raleigh in doubet
herself with
of combined white satin.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-08-29

Celebrated Plymouth binding
Irvine for sale at the Mandan
Mere. Co. Adv.
Ole Gradin, ex-sheriff Of Nc
Lean county, was in from his
farm Wednesday. Nj. Gradin has
finished harvesting and is cut
tingsflax and getting his machine
ready to thresh next week. He
thinks the wheat on his place
will average between 8 and 10
bushels per acre.
Mrs. D. L. Kenney writes:-
II cannot sufficiently express my
thanks to you for your DR.. Hob
sons Eczema Ointment. 1t has
cured my letter which has trou-
bled me for over fifty years"
All druggists, or by mail, SOC.
Pheiffer Chemical Co., St. Louis
Mo-, and Philadelphia, Pa. Adv.
/ 7. H. Jeffrey has SHIPPED his
household goods to Fessneden
where they will make their future
home. Mrs. Jeffrey and baby
will visit friends until Saturday
when they will join MI. Jeffrey
who preceded them. Mr.. JEFF
ferry expects to take up his duties
at once as secretary of a new
trust company recently organized
by the First National bank of
that city.
D. C. Wright, chairman of the
Board of County Commissioners,
of Mclean county, was in Max
the fore part Of the week adjust
ing hail losses for the State
Hail Insurance Department. He
adjusted the loss Of s0smund
Berge, who lives west Of Max,
and found it a total loss, and
Nj. Berge will receive the full
amount Of his policy.-Max Entr-
prise.
James j. Cary and George b.
KNAPP Of Dubuque, Iowa were here
the latter part of last week.
Both Of these gentlmeen are ma
rine inspectors sent out by the
government to inspect boats and
ferries. They had inspected the
ferry at Garrison which crosses
the river to Mannhaven and the
ferry was found to be short Of
requirements in the way of
equipments.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-08-29
LOCAL NEWS

Farm Loans made at the Wash
burn State Bank, Adv.
C. G.. Forbes went to the twin
cities Wednesday on business.
&c. Anderson and A. d. HIT
autoed up from Wilton Tuesday.
Deputy Sheriff Joe Olson is
tetaing scales over the county.
this week.
Judge Gibson moved his family
into the Nuessle house the first Of
the week.
John Lundquist and daughter
were callers at the Leader Office
this week.
D. T. Owens, real estate man
of Bismarck, was up on business
Thursday.
Mrs. Harris Peterson was re-
ported very i'll the fore part Of
the week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Waydeman Of
AnamOose were in the city
Wednesday.
Rev. and Mrs. O.. ,Valberg of
Underwood were visitors in the
city, Monday.
We can sell you money orders
cheaper than the postoffice. First
National Bank of Washburn,
N. ID. Adv.
Vic Wallin left Tuesday for
Fort Rice where he will visit his
brother, Editor C. f. Wallin be-
fore returning to school at Far
60.
When a man has suffered for
several days with collie, diarrhoea
or other form Of bowel complaint
and is then cured sound and we'll
by one or two doses Of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy, as is often the
case, it is but natural that he
should be enthusiastic in his
praise Of the remedy, and espec-
tally is this the case of a severe
attack when life is threatened.
Try it when in need Of such a
remedy. It never fails. Sold by
all dealers. Adv.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-08-29
The Best Pain Killer.

Bucklen's Arnica Salve when
applied to a cut, bruise, sprain,
burn or scald, or other injury Of
the skin will Immediately remove
all pain. E.. E.. Chamberlain Of
Clinton, Me says:-"It robs cuts
and other injuries of their ter
rors. As a healing remedy it's
equal don't exist" Will do good
Tor you. Only Csc. Adv.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1913-08-29

f#s%s sTs8E S3zaRSta3s 49, 5-@s
Real estate loans. Klein's Land
Agency, Washburn, N. D.-Adv.
Rev. D. D. Mitchell spent the
first part Of the week over in
Oliver county.
Aug. +. johnson was transact
ing business at Benedict between
trains Monday.
Wanted-to buy Is young pigs,
Fred Fisher, Hensler. Write price
and age.-Adv.
Sheriff H. o. Simon was over
to Ruso. on official business the
first of the week.
For rent-an improved farm,
good pasture in connection. Joe.
Mann, Washburn, N. d. Adv.
Miss Elsie Godfrey left Mon
day for Linton where she will
spend a weeks vacation.
Adolph Wacker went to the twin
cities last week and is spending
the week here on business.
Taken up-little black pony
with buggy, l mile east of Wash
burn. Andrew Albrceht.-Adv.
Mr.. and Mrs. George H. Weber
have gone to housekeeping in the
house recently vacated by the
Jeffery's.
Mrs. Geo. p. Gibson and child
rem returned Friday from Mime
sofa where they had spent the.
summer.
Mrs. Joe Mann and son Win
ston, returned from Garrison Mon
day where they had been visi-
ting friends.
Florence 4ndseth went toaGar-
rison Tuesday morning where
she will be a guest at the Nc
Gray home for a week.
Mrs. d. McPhee and son Archie
came up from Bismarck Tuesday
to spend a week visiting at the
A. S. Reitan home.
Culligan's Nashville Students
played at the opera house Mon
day evening. The company con-
sisted Of nine colored people.
Mrs. W. G. eastman of Bis
marck came up Thursday morning
to spend the week end. visi-
ting with Mrs. G. NJ. Packard.
Martin Holtan, manager Of the
Holtan Mere. Co., returned last
Friday from a purchasing trip
TO Chicago. and the twin cities.
The o. K. Cafe has been treated
to q new coat OF paint this week
which adds much to the improve
ments on that side of the street.
For Sale-second-hand furni-
ture in first class condition at
very reasonable prices. See E. 1.
Schulz at the a.. Schulz & Sons
store.
j. A. Hyland spent the fore
part Of the week at Plaza on legal
business returning Wednesday an
left at once for Bismarck on
legal business.
Dan Schulz who has been spend
ing the past couple of weeks at
points in South Dakota returned
Tuesday. Mr.. Schulz and
Rev. Emanuel Broeckel attended
q conference Of the German
Baptist church at Madison, S. d.,
at which every state in the Union
was represented. Rev. Broeckel
Thursday morning.