The broad ax., 1913-06-21

He kissed his sweetheart in the hall
He kissed her DER and DER.
A Jeer came from her brother small,
Say. mister, what's the scorer
Boston Transcript
'why were you arrestedy' inquired
the visitor
For trying to keep money in circu.
lation." said the prisoner. &c.,.
81 don't understand"
well, they call me a pickpocket" -
Life.
Why am I always sorry
When the week end cOmesR
have TO plan and worry
And do hard sums
And figure on one gray day
With naught TO eat
For tother week ends pay day
And the ends don't meet!
Chicago Daily News
Tommy-Pop. what do we mean by
saying that discretion Is the better
part OF valOr?
Tommy's Pop Generally speaking.
my son. we mean that discretion can
run faster.-Philadelphia Record
He was short. and she was tall
She was silly; he was wise
Did they wed? No: not at all
Therein lay the whole surprise
Chicago Record-Herald
Stranger-Pardon me, madam; out
here on this historic battlefield You are
weeping.
Woman-Ah, me! My husband fought
in this battle.
Stranger see. And he was killed
Woman-No. he lived. and / married
him.-New York Weekly.
my father has lost ev'rythingI"
Exclaimed distracted Sue.
AS Herbert rose to go he said.
"Oh. no: he still has your
-LlppineOtfs.
Good morning. Mrs. Brady. I see
you have rented your front room"
81 have"
"And who is the party, may in
quire?"
He is an artist"
as he one Of those futurist chaps we
read abOut?"
HE may paint that way, but. believe
me, he is going to pay his rent in ad-
vance youngstown Telegram
June's the month for weddings,
And that's the reason why
You ought TO save your coppers
For presents by and by.
-Yonkers Statesman
"what. giving up already. my boy?"
said a gentleman to a youthful angler.
You must bring little more patience
with you another time"
81 brought enough patience with me,
mister, but i didn't bring enough |
Stories.
Thrice happy he who never shamB
Ger things be fails to know.
Who can't tell quips from epigrams.
But laughs and lets them 90.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-May 1 see you home?
She-No. but you may watch me
start-Philadelphia Bulletin
This the old time lesson
Never learned By all
The higher up you climb IN life
The farther you must fall"
But this Is for your comfort:
When you reach the mountains crown
Stay there. good people
Never tumble down,
Atlanta Constitution
Photographer-I was very well salts
1ed with the negative I got Of Miss
FlirJ. r.. .....f.
Rejected Lover-Yes. but you didn't
lsk Der to marry you--BaltmOre
American .--.
s-oh, am later the maiden asked.
And he. q patient waiter,
Replied as IN her smile he baked.
Wen. better late than later"
~ New York Sen.
young GayIeIgh appears to imagine
hat be really owns the air castles
hat he builds a.,
"Yes. be takes the thought fer the
Iced. "-Philadelphla Star. go
The Japaness % numerous
Have ways that seem myBtsriouS-
In opera they're humOrous.
In politics most serious
~ > ,Fs -ExehaasA
so
as the patient out Of danger yetF'
well. not altogether. The trained
lurse Is still with him1-st Louis
aeuublie. .'l. -.---- ----r ~
We are queer psoDlo- Most q NJ
- Are busy making ErOuchy eractu
And envyfng the lucky GUS
Wh0 has % pay an income tax
IN We had fortanes. lust s1pposs.
And came within the iaW Wsd my
Ths only lucky fellows EsHs ttoss
Who had no income taK 10 pay.
- -c1nclnhetf EnddlraE