Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-04-03


the devil for twelve years. His friends
are beginning to complain of the de-
lay.
The Audubon man who delights in
calling another man liar, always
seems surest that no one else thinks
he is.
Don't take candy from q child,
money from blind man, sass" from
male. person, or advise from a
stranger.
The suffragetts wants every woman
to be known as Miss" This looks
like scheme to palm off secondhand
goods as the real thing.
Another reason for the high cost OF
living is that too many people have a
garage in the back yard where the
chicken coop used TO stand.
It is easy to believe that Eve sprang
from one Of Adams ribs. A lot Of the
girls still bear q strong resemblance to
the bone that gave them birth.
A girl will go into fourteen stores be-
fore she finds 10 cent corset cover
that will suit her But frequently the
first guy that comes along win do for a
husband.
When widower walks into public
place with woman, there is q buzz
that can actually be heard. And il
the woman is a widow, the buzz be-
comes roar.
At the home talent play Friday even
ing woman remarked that it wasn't
hard to tell married couple at a show.
She looks like q peacock and he looks
like sparrow.
A Brayton woman says when her
husband stays out all night she doesn't
give him any breakfast. Dsaally q
man who stays outuaall night doesn't
want any breakfs
Ira .rted out to pur-
scloSo s..os.s4.. so404e the prices goes
up. This came Immediately upon the
heels of report that slaves" would
not be in style this summer.
Tornadoes play queer pranks. Last
Friday we were told on good authority
that tax receipt belonging to Ne
braska farmer was found at Extra the
day after the Omaha cyclone.
Some Audubon people are now living
in fear that IL certain party is APP
pointed post master here. all male pat
rons will be required TO take off their
hats when they call for their mail.
The production of Jerusalem, the
Holy City. at San Francisco, will not
harm Jerusalem and it might do some
good to that city, which seems to be
In need now of all the moral stimulus
it can lay its hands on.
A fellow told us the other day that
"a single man had to roam around
when he wanted to find trouble, but q
married man could always go home"
And the fellow who was talking was
married man, SO he must have known.
The pastor Of one Of our local
churches was invited out to dinner last
Sunday. They had little boy at this
home and after watching the clergy
man with considerable interest he said:
You'd better eat 1t slow. for mama
never gives more'n one piece of pie"
Two automobile enthusiasts met at
the post Office Sunday afternoon. One
of them had recently purchased new
car, but his friend had owned one a
couple of years. The man with the
new car asked his friend how fast his
car was and he replied that 1t general
kept about six months ahead of hi
income"
An Audubonite who has been away
from his old stomping grounds came
back from the city, and when asked
which he preferred the city or the
country, he said. The preferred living
In small town where people will
sympathise with you in trouble and IL
you haven't trouble they will hunt some
up for you"
Some marriages remind MS of the
poor fellow who said: ''She could't
get any husband and I couldn't get any
wife, 80 we just got married" Or like
the Extra girl who, when she was Civ.
ing q reception TO her friends, and real
king that she had not made much Of
a catch, apologized to her girls friends,
saying: II know he isn't much, but
then, some of the girls did't get any"
device has just been patented
sby eayssdropping on phones win
'Nluteiy eliminated. With re
Is trick nobody but the tho
versing viii be able to hear
Inder the constitution the
Is cou, p -uf d
d