davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
HUM0R DIsFIGURED BABY

Clarendon, N. C.-"My baby was
broken out with a red, thick and
rough-looking humorN when about two
months old. 1t would come in patches
and went almost all over her in that
way. The places were like ringworm
and as they would spread they would
turn red and make sores and itch.
The trouble went to her face and
disfigured her badly. Her clothes ir.
ritated it.
Il saw the advertisement Of Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment and got q
sample and in one nights time / could
see a change in the redness and in
two days the place would be nearly
gone. l sent and got one twenty-five
cent cake of Cuticura Soap and two
fifty-cent boxes of Cuticura Ointment,
which cured my baby. She was well
in three months" (Signed) Mrs. Ber'
tina Sawyer, Oct. II, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept L. Boston. ADV.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
WORKS ALL DAY
And Studies at Night on Grape-Nuts
Food.

Some of the worlds great men have
worked during the day and studied
evenings to fit themselves for greater
things. But it requires a good consti-
tuition generally to do this.
A Ga man was able to keep it up
with ease after he had learned the
sustaining power of Grape-Nuts, al
though he had failed in health before
he changed his food supply. He says;
Three years ago I had severe at
tack of stomach trouble which left me
unable to eat anything but bread and
water.
"The nervous strain at my Office
from 6 A. M. to P. M. and improper
foods caused my health to fail rapidly.
Cereal and so-called Foods" were
tried without benefit until ! saw Grape
Nuts mentioned in the paper.
''In hopeless desperation l tried this
food and at once gained strength, flesh
and appetite. 1 am now able to work
all day at the Office and study at night
without the nervous exhaustion that
was usual before tried Grape-Nuts.
It leaves me strengthened, re-
freshed, satisfied; nerves quieted and
toned up, body and brain waste re-
stored. / would have been living
skeleton, or more likely dead one by
this time, if it had not been for Grape
Nuts
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to
wellville," in pkgs. There's a Rea-
SON"
Ever read the above letter: new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
TeienathY.

"Telepathy' is an instance OF new
tangled word for an old thing. Bacon
called it sympathy" between two dis
tant minds. Izaak Walton similarly ex-
planned DIR. Donne's vision in Paris of
his wife and dead child, observing that
"if two lutes are strung to an exact
harmoney, and one is struck, the other
sounds" Scottish highlanders, who
would have been puzzled by the word
"telepathy," have long been familiar
with the idea for which it stands. An
drew Lang quoted the case of a poor
highland woman who wrote to her son
in Glasgow: Don't be thinking too
much of US, or l shall be seeing you
some evening in the byre."
My father once had a curious tele-
pathic experience. He was dressing
in his bedroom one morning when he
suddenly saw the face of Scotch
servant girl. contorted with agony, in
the lookingglass before him. He went
downstairs to the kitchen and found
the girl writhing in a fit upon the
floor, her face exactly as he had seen
it in the mirror.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Without Hone,

without hope no man can succeed
In life, but in order to abiding
achievement 1t is necessary to secure
for ones hopes a sure and adequate
foundation. Mere poetical and senti-
mental gush about hope will not serve
the purpose of a sufficient and de-
oendable motive for conduct. Hope
deferred maketh the heart sick, and a
shallow optismism which assumes
that all is right with ones life with
out taking God into account Is worse
than no hope at all, since it deludes
the soul into false sense of securi-
ty, and to that extent delays the at
tainment of true faith in the future
which comes of a sincere faith In the
Lord and his promises. Hope In God,
and your hope will never be in vain;
trust in the Lord and do good. and
you WILL have an indisputable right
to be an optimist.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
That Awful Recruit.

The dignified serenity of London
recruiting officer was rudely dis
turbed the other afternoon when the
sergeant major, not without anxiety.
introduced his newest catch, weak.
nonchalant cockney youth of seven
teen foggy winters, for the purpose of
being sworn in.
The r. o. put up his monocle. Dia-
Iogue as follows:
"Aw-put out that cigarette"
'I amt smohn', gunner"
"You have a cigarette in your fin
gers, hang you!"
Look ere, Gully; you've got Bible
In yer and, but yer amt sayin' yer
prayers, are yer?"-Tit-Bits.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Fanny blushed. So she had planned

Fanny blushed. So she had planned
to invite him from the beginning!
However, a healthy appetite does
not permit Of introspective analysis.
1t was not until the plates were quite
clean, except for turkey bones and po-
tato peel, and the last morsel of the
feast was done, that they found time
for anything but the scrappiest frag-
ments of speech. Then John looked
at Fanny and his heart began beat
ing in that absurd way again. How
nice it would be to have somebody
like that-as nice as that-as pretty
as that-to cook every meal for him!
And how he had hated to see her
start out so early and come back so
late from the department store! Be-
fore he realized it he had forgotten
all his shyness and they were talk
ing learnedly and delightfully."- about
their homes.
They thoug hit Of the free country
air and the roads and fields white
with snow, and the peacefulness Of
little farm of their own; but they
did not mention the proprietorship.
Still, by a sort of telepathy, each
knew that the other was thinking of
that. And the stuffy little lodging
house room became filled with ro-
nance for them and they looked won
deringly upon each other and thought
that fate was very kind.
"And it's this way" said John. 81
know that 1 was a fool to-, leave the
farm and come here. There was just
the one thing 1 knew all about, and
could have succeeded at, and l threw
it up to take up something I never
can succeed at"
eff you knew how tired l get of try
ing on ladies' shoes. And they have
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Bare Necessity.

A lecturer was discoursing on the
prodigal son. To show his audience
to what depths the wayward youth
had sunk, by way of modern illus
tration he said:
"a lad left home with good inten-
tions, but evidently got into bad COM
pany. He eventually had to pawn
his overcoat in order to raise money
to keep himself. However, his coat
and waistcoat had to go the same
way. Again he needed money, and
had to pawn his trousers and likewise
his shirt and vest. Then he came to
himself"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

conscious impertinence with which
Terriss treated him. Irving had grill
room (called the Beefsteak club just
off the stage, near his own dressing
room. One night Terriss smelled the
savory odor of appetizing cooking.
Fine smell, that, guv-nor' he said to
Irving during wait in the wings. Yes.
very good agreed Irving, and added:
You must come along some time and
have supper with me, my boy! Moth
ing would please me better, guv-nor,
said Terriss, to which Irving replied:
Well when would you like to Gomez
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Doctors Treat.

Il tell ye, the new doctor that's just
moved to Torpidville is an upty-date
feller!" declared honest Farmer Horn
beak, upon his return from the near
by village. you know, whenever a
new establishment starts up it is Gus
tomary for 'em to hold sort of a
grand openin' and distribute soovy-
neers. Well, this doctor, he held a
reception in his new Office this after
noon, and gave everybody that attend
ed dose O. pills. Portland Specta-
tor.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Children and Their Pets.

AS a rule-at any rate, with very
tiny children-do not let boys and
girls punish their pets. When it is
necessary to punish bird or animal
in their presence explain very plainly
why the punishment is given. Fur
ther, guard against telling wonderful
anecdotes of animals before the chill
dren. 1t is often thoughtlessly done,
and has frequently pitiful results,
Children have perverted senses of pro-
portion, and in utter good faith try
TO make their rabbit do the trick they
heard described as done by some per-
forming bear; they do not guess at
the misery they cause their pet.-Ex-
change.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Novel From a Film.

There is nothing new in the utiliza-
ton of novels for the purposes of the
cinematograph, but the proposal that
noveIists are to be commissioned to
adapt film plays for the library is
distinct innovation. The adaptation Of
a play into a novel has, however, often
been undertaken in recent years, and
several dramatic successes have thus
been given a wider audience. One
of the first films to be made into
novel is "A Message From Mars"
which has the usual distinction of
going from the stage to the cinema,
and thence to the library, thus revers-
ing the customary process.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
EFFORT TO SOFTEN THE BLOW
Possibly Things Would Have Hap
pened If Mrs. Jones Had Heard
Remark OF Her Husband.

Every one has heard authentic
stories of the man who asked another,
who is that old trump over yonder? 2"
and got the reply, "She is my wife"
But the story doesn't go far enough.
Jones observed an old lady sitting
across the room.
For heavens sake!" he remarked
to Robinson, "who is that extraordi-
narily ugly woman there?"
THAT" answered Robinson, "is my
wife,"
Jones was taken aback, but moved
up front again.
WELL" he said persuasively, "you
Just ought to see mine!"-New York
Evening Post.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
BILL TERRlSS AND IRVING
Former SmelIed the Great Actors
Beefsteak and Was Quick to
Accept the Invitation.

Of his old days at the Lyceum thea
ter in London with the late Sir Henry
Irving, Forbes-Robertson tells many
interesting anecdotes. Among others
Is one of William Terriss, physically
the handsomest actor of his day:
Irving was very fond of Bill Terriss.
and was nightly amused by the un-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Back-Eired.

A sharp-tongued married woman
who had been openly commiserating
an elderly spinster on her loveless
state went on to talk volubly about
her husbands health.
Poor man, he has been great suf-
ferer for fifteen years." she remarked.
Il can quite believe that, DEAR" said
the spinster, still smarting under the
married woman's sarcastic "sympa-
thy" Let me see, it is just. fifteen
years since you married him, is it
not 2"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Bad Calculation,

night and having no light was cropping
his way (the bed being one of the old
fashioned, with high bed posts). John,
in feeling for the bed post, missed it
with his hand and struck it with his
nose.
"Ach" he yelled, that is the first
time l knew my nose was longer than
my arm. National Monthly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

HEADACHE AND BILIOUS ATTACKS
Caused by Malaria removed by the use
of Elixir BabeIk cure for such ailments.
Myself and whole household had SUI
MaIariaI Fever. Elixir Babek' has
cured us perfectly. so that we enjoy at
present the best of health. h."-Jacob Ed
erly, Fairfax Court House, Va.
Eiixir Babek so cents. all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from Kloczsw-
ski a. Co. Washington, D. G.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
CHARGE of the Light Brigade.

Mr.. Stevens noticed that the little
daughter of the family ate her cereal
in far from enthusiastic manner.
Don't you like that, my dear?'' he
inquired.
mot pertic'ly," replied the child.
''Why do you eat it. then?" asked
the visitor.
The little girl paused with her
spoon on the edge of the bowl, and
looked at the guest with serious eyes.
why, it's got to be eaten,' she an
swered gravely. "The groceryman
gives mother rag doll for every two
packages she buys, and it's got to be
eaten every morning. York
Evening Post.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Too Busy to Consider Another Job

"Uh-no, sah-t'anky for de ob-iga-
tion!'' frankly replied ramshackle
Brother Bulginback, who was noted
for his deftness in lodging work.
''Kin't do be job for yo', cunhnel, much
as I'd admiah to; uh-kaze why: Me
and muh wife, sab, we burgun a 'spute,
day befo' yiste'd'y, bout a pint in de
Scripters, and l isn't gwine to have
no time for de next week or sich-uh-
mattah for nuth'n' but lookin' up pro
pirate answers to dat mistaken lady's
ahgymunts"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Homeric Humorist.

Guide-In front of you is the ma
tional capital.
Miss Gush-Oh, isn't it angelic?
Mr.. Grouch-Angelic? Why, young
woman, how can you speak of it as be-
ing angelica?
Miss Gush-Well, it has wings,
hasn't it?-Florida Times Union.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
GaiIantry.

Two miners were returning from a
lecture Nat the village institute when
one of them after thoughtful pause,
remarked: "Say, Bill. don't see the
necessity O. bringing chaps frae Lon
don to teach us about manners in the
'ome We amt so bad as that feller
made out!" 90 course, we ain't!"
replied Bill. "Not by a long way"
went on the first. 81 never swears be-
fore my wife" mo more don't Il"
put in Bill. 81 allus sez-ladies
fust, That's me"-Cardiff Western
Mail
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
$500 - c@
X2~A[.9 ~ AcA,x
Mother Goose
The Day After Thanksgiving

TIitde Jack Homer sat in corner.
- Heaving many sigh.
Il wish | were dead
| stuffed so, he said.
What miser'ble boy am II !"
nAld King Cole
W Was greedy old soul,
And greedy old soul was he;
Now he thinks that the world
Is from pole unto pole
Just filed up with miser-ee.
1ack and JilL
- When they had their hll.
Kept eating, eating, eating;
Jack feels bad
And Jill is sad
The JOY they had was aeeting.
TTT
nAld Mother Hubbard
W Went to the cupboard.
To, MUNICH at the turkey there;
She cleaned all the bones.
Now she bitterly groans,
And wishes the shelf had been bare.
wv
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Nv Ate when they bade her cease;
Now she wildly yells
At the kitchen smells,
And faints at the sight Of grease.
IS, E. Kiser
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Reou0jated,

No sooner had the pilgrim set foot
in the Elysian Fields than shadow
was accosting him. Il am the girl
who wouldn't let the curfew ring that
night" she hurriedlv explained. Am
l spoken of on earth?" We'll" an
swered the pilgrim, L don't profess
to be a Judge Of elocution but I should
saT nit. Puck.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

our home for ourselves" he said pres.
emily. Doesn't it make you happy?
Can you be as happy as 1 am, Fanny?
Do you know, don't know what your
other name is. Isn't that stranger"
Il don't want to tell you, John"
But don't you think l ought ito
know"
We'll, but what's the use of telling
you when you say I've got to lose it
so quickly?"
Copyright, 1912. by w. g. Chapman.)
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

When you are asked where and
how is your little achievement going
into Gods plan, point to your master,
who keeps the plans, and then go on
doing your little service as faithfully
as If the whole temple were yours to
build.-Phillips Brooks.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

The Holy Spirit
is not a thing or
an influence, but
a divine person,
because in the
h Iy scriptures
there are ascrib-
ed to him the
works, attributes
and names Of a
person. This d.
vine pers o n
dwells in true be-
levers on Jesus
Christ. He acts
upon them not
as a power from
without, but as a
living reality with
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children
Relieve Feverishness, Bad Stomach, Teething
Disorders, move and regulate the Bowels and
are a pleasant remedy for Worms. Used by
Mothers for "a years. They are so pleasant to
take, children like them. 7zey nrOer fail. At
all Druggists, 25c. Sample FREE. Address,
L. 8. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
AWoman Is as Old
as She Looks

But her beauty once gone is not lost for.
ever Science has come to her relief, and
she can nowI smooth back the wrinkles
and crows feet, bring back the bloom OF
youth to the faded, sallow cheeks, and
clear that muddy, notified complexion.
Here is the wonderful secret. Purchase
from your druggist two ounces of Casoster,
inc and add to four ounces of water. this will
make massage cream which should be
used each night, also purchase two ounces
of water, this will make greaseless cream,
which should be used directly after the
massage These preparations need not be
confined to the treatment of wrinkles
alone, their use as a cleanser is unsur-
passed, they viii preserve a. healthy COM
heads, and pimples If your druggist is
unable to supply You, send one dollar di-
rect to the Cootes Laboratories, Norfolk,
Va, and receive these products by return mall
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Tactfui!

Mrs. A. telephoned her friend, Mrs
B., the other evening.
Thank you SO much, Isabel, for that
basket Of lovely doughnuts," she said.
You know there never yet vas a
doughnut so old or hard or tough that
| couldn't eat it."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Twas on BilIie's Bill.

Twas on BIIIIe's BIII.
Have you heard about Julia's hard
luck?"
NO What Is it,"
~She took Billie's engagement ring
back to the jewelers. to be valued. Oh.
poor Julia!"
well, that's nothing. 1 always do
that"
Yes; but the jeweler refused to
give it back to her. He said Billie
hadn't paid for it,"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Legendary Funeral Bell.

The ancient custom of heading the
funeral procession of members of the
McEnhill family by the eldest male
member ringing the BELL of Drum
ragh" was observed at Omagh, Ireland.
when Hugh McEnhill was laid to rest.
Tradition has it that the bell was first
heard ringing underground on the oc-
casion of the funeral of a McErhill,
and that it was then dug up and Sc
cured by the family.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Alwavs on the lob,

Jack-I hear that Mabel is an occa-
sional contributor to magazines.
Edith-Judging from the quantities
Of powder she is purchasing I should
think she is the chief Of ordnance
Town Topics.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
n ~EAuEA Watson z. Coleman, Wash
Patents SS0EsiTs' Is ;.saias H5Es
Many a man gets turned down while
waiting for something to turn up.

The most effective. yet simplest remedy
for coughs is Deans Mentholated Cough
Drops-5c at Drug Stores.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Makino Up for Lost Time.

Cissie-Why in the name of good
ness do you keep taking out your
watch Have you a train to catch?
Tom-Eh? Oh, no. The fact is
haven't seen it for long time.-Illus-
trated Bits.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Natural Question.

He seems to have special talent
for argument"
Lawyer or pugilist ?''-Judge
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Daijy Thouuht.

The best and greatest thing a man
or woman is capable Of doing Is his
or her sphere. Wendell Phillips.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
TrifIe Inclined That Way.

"Is Jones laZy?"
Lays no name for it. Why, he
will go into a revolving door, and
then wait for somebody to come in
and turn it around"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Any man without friends is man
without money.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
By ADELE MENDEl.

yd
ltblde deorauns surprise
wonderful the decorative
dkh pernapkn d
md phqed
white
p p
sign
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Mrs. .winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces innamma-
tion allays pain cures wind collie, sc bottle.An
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Every girl wants to marry rich.
Girls don't believe in love as much as
men suppose they do.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Love couldn't be otherwise than
sweet, as its principal ingredient Is
taffy.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

AS a matter OF fact, most women
wouldn't want their own way If they
could have It
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

"How are you on the income tax?
Against it or for it?'
For it. / should worry.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Watch the minutes, and the hourP
and DAYS viii be safe.--Sumner.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

Tonight responded Terriss promptly.
Irving was delighted with the business
like acceptance of his invitation"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Pain in Back and Rheumatism

are the daily torment of thousands. 10 et-
fectually cure these troubles You must re-
move the cause. Foley Kidney Pills begin
to work for you from the first dose, and ex-
ert SO direct and beneficial an action III the
kidneys and bladder that the pain and tor
ment of kidney trouble soon disappears
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
The Exeention.

The Exception.
"At least, telegraphers ought to find
it easy to get along"
'Why telegraphers"
Because they are used to living on
tick"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
UnfaIling Sign.
Hes in love-"
"How do you know?"
Hes quit carrying his cigars In his
vest pocket."-Detroit Free Press.
Quite the Contrary

Quite the Contrary.
''Did the brides father give her
away?"
"On the contrary, he told the BRIDE
groom she would make him a splendid
wife,"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
EE.s<.ey&5[sNS"s@ @9H>Ea9Is ssSS&* NEE3HH9
iilledWith
the Spirit
ByREV. JAMES M. GRAY. ID.
Dean os Moody Bible Institute
Of Chicago
Saa3G~S9:%sH%.23s<

TEXT-Be not drunk with wine where
in is excess. but be filed with the Spirit.
Ephesians Sis.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

The office that seeks the man has
: the lone fisherman stalled to 4 stand
still
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21

The Right Way.
"Bill went all to pieces"
What did his wife say?"
Bill, collect yourself. ;"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser., 1913-11-21
Mixed Information

Mixed Information.
Asteroids? What are asteroids?"
They're the things doctors take out
of children's noses"
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1913-10-07

NsuulrIa OF the face shoplder
haHf. ur feet requires . powerful
remedy fHaf Nill penetrate the flesh
RAliARu- Snow LlNIMENT po-
s0s.e. THAT power. Rubbed Dob where
tfr Glin fe't is all that Is necessary
to relieve suffering and restore nor
ia' conditions Price 2ac Soc and
HU per bottle Sold hy D. %
Thompson a co. Nit