The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-10-03
ON Tee SPUR
or THE AOMENT
BY ROY X. MOULTON.

Leaving Ortune OF Million DOnafS.
Apartment Janitor Loved by Tenants
On Account of His Pohteness.
Man Admits Wife Can Make Short
cake
AS Good as That Made by His
Mother.
Politician Declines Complimentary
Tickets on a Street Car Line.
Well known Husband Urges Wife
To Buy an Expensive Spring Bonnet.
Prominent Automobiles Refuses
To Talk About His New Machine.
From the Hickeyville Clarion.
Amariah Tilson, our gentlemanly
and congeniaI tonsorial artist, also
band and orchestra has busted the G
string his fiddle and says there
town until he runs across stray cat
somewhere or other. Business is so
dull Amos Butts is using the hearse
for an incubator at this writing ana
has Matched out several flock OF
chickens. A hearse is enough to make
anything brood. Elmer Jones is TAX
ing a post graduate course at the high
school in chemistry so he can get a
job down to the city driv1n' one OF
them chemistry fire engines. William
Tibbitts has had a wart burned off
his finger and now expects to have a
fire sale at his general store.
Seth Purdy, our gentlemanly and
congenial druggist, also chest protec-
tors and false teeth to rent by day or
week (see adv. on page 81, says he is
in favor of local option in our midst.
If the drug store would only put on a
free lunch it might be all right.
Hank Tumms says it is a durn lie
about congress always trying to aid
and protect infant industries. He has
got nineteen kids in his family and the
government amt done nothing for him.
Uncle Ezra Harkins' son, Jabez, is
taking lessons in art. Uncle Ezra amt
much of an artist himself, excepting in
the animal line. All he draw is flies.
The motto of the weather bureau is
BE sure you're wrong, then go ahead
Old man Purdy says he wouldn't trade
his corn for all the weather bureaus
this side of Tophet. When his corn
and when it don't ache he don't know
what is goin' to happen.
The Busy Neighbor.
Have you ever noticed what a busy
and capable man your neighbor is?
Perhaps you have never noticed it
yourself, but if you haven't, your wife
has probably told you about it, which
is all the same. When you go home to
meals you hear about this busy neigh
Dor. You hear about him three times
day, something like this:
Mr.. Jones is such a capable man
Do you know, he built his own storm
house this year and put in his own
storm windows? Why don't you ever
do anything like that?'
Mr.. Jones was out and had his snow
all shoveled off at o'clock this morn
ing"
Mr.. Jones is making some repairs
on his furnace. He must save a lot of
money that way"
Mr.. Jones raised his own chickens
last year and they had all the chickens
and eggs they could eat. He is going
to do the same this year"
Mr.. Jones fixed three leaks in their
cellar pipes last evening all by himself.
and he repaired Mrs. Jones carpet
sweeper this morning before break
fast"
Mr. Jones is going to build his own
garage in the spring. He drew the
plans himself and it is going to be per
fectly lovely. I wish you could find
time to do things like that
When you get tired of hearing about
the money-saving activities of Mr..
Jones you move into a new neighbor
mood and get next door to Mr.. Smith
VINO Is about three times as capable
~ no place in this world where a law
man like yourself can find peace
The Diary of Bonehead
ne hooelst piece of horseflesh that NV
WlIe and had ever seen ambled ont onto
me track yesterday afternoon right in
'front.' Of the bandstand to enter in the
10 event. That horse actually seemed
throng and wink at me-
said DE ms IS snf fe an Intelgent looking horse"
to frisk home with the dough soi"s
II was unlike my wife to talk like that
and L began to sit up and take notice.
-, he mas such a pretty face" she con-
tInueu. II you are going to bet that s25
this afternoon, put it all on him. Wo-
man intuition, you know"
hunted up one-eyed bookmalzer who
had posted odds against this horse longer
than Pennsylvania search warrant b1It
was banking on woman's intuition and
placed the quarter-century on the pretty
nag.
1t was all over in something less than
1lve minutes tried to find the horse
With pretty face by using the strongest
Ileld glasses / could borrow. 7 finally
found him about half mile back of the
field and he going so slow that every
once in a while he would stop and nibbbIe
a hit OF grass and then admire the seen
cry which I must say is certainly fire
scenery for this time of the year
When the cloud of dust got around to
the grandstand again. the race was won
by a nag that looked a great deal like
a clothes horse. The good points We're
sticking out all over him. 1t seemed as
though one could have thrown a cat
through him anywhere and not disar-
ranged any of his external internal
He had a nose like a Ratchet
and you could have played solo on his
ribs with a pair of zylophone mallets. He
looked as friendlesS wife beater at a
mass meeting. He had some
what the expression of a cat that has
been poisoned, drowned and run through
a sausage machine but he had COPIED
the Doodle.
There are two things to stay away from
at the horse races. They the horse
with the pretty face and that indescrib- |
able thing called woman'S intuition.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.1
Anyway, the fool is always liberal with