davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
worry. But when a woman

worry. But when woman
loves you, look out.
There is no marriage in heav-
en-. They can't afford to have
fights up there.
A married man usually puts his
property and his religion in his
wife's name.
The average size of the Amer
lean family is AZ. The fraction
represents Father.
The world is filled with women
who have ten-cent dogs that
wear ten-cent collars.
The man who wrote that the
atom was the smallest thing in
creation never had a good look
at a bridegroom.
One good thing about being
married is that a wife makes a
man change his linen regularly
if he has a change.
A man might as we'll learn to
keep his mouth shut. The wom-
an, the umpire and the preacher
always get the last word.
What has become of the old
fashioned wife who shot her
husband? 1t is almost three
weeks since We have heard from
her.
Another thing have learned
about the American reformer is
that if you shake hands with him
he will try to choke you to death.
The sum of S24,OOO,OOO is be-
ing raised in this country for
Foreign Missions. But we for
get about the pretty girl who is
trying to keep straight on S6 a
week.
If the Laplanders wore the
kind of horse blanket coats that
we see on our females the WON:
en- of this country would be as:
founded at the grotesque fash
ions Of the poor Heather.
This is a fool world wherein
the short haired women and the
longhaired men get together and
organize to have legislation en-
acted that will prevent long
haired women and short-haired
men from having any fun.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Brief Holiday.

Joy is like a bird in flight,
which dips in its passing and
touches US with its wings. 1t
comes from out of a far country
and it tracks its way on high.
After that brief lowering it will
recover its former attitude, its
speed, and song.t Its throbbing
heart passes high over our throb-
bing- cities AND frozen hills. AS
we teach that flight of untram-
meled wing we wish that some
how we might capture that
blitheness and teach it to dwell
among men. Why should it
pause but never abide? We
would have that joy abide so
fiXedly thatit would become a
peace. The holiday season is
like that. 1t stoops for a little
out of space, draws near our dim
earth, and sheds its brightness
among men. AS swiftly as it
came, so swiftly it goes again.
And yet each year it draws more
close and stays for a longer time;
its radiance is revealed to us
more clearly, full of grace and
truth.-Collier's Weekly.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Eggs laid by a New Zealand

Eggs lalO Dy new Lealanu
lizard require fourteen months
to hatch, No need for a cold
storage plant in New Zealand.
AS a disease, appendicitis be-
came known thirty years ago.
Before that time people recover
ed without halt the cost.
Mems hats are much smaller
this year. Now, to make the re-
form of some value, let women
follow their example.
Where would modern medicine
and surgery be without the
guinea pig? And yet nobody
has erected a monument to him.
New York courts have been
asked to place a value of $500 on
single bean, responsible for a
woman's fall. Many ball play
ers get beaned for less than that
several times a season.
New York boasts a female
dentist who practices exclusively
on insane people. Probably so
that when she starts on regularly
it will make no difference how
mad her patients get.
American war vessels are 60
ing to search for icebergs in the
line of travel of American pas
sepger vessels next spring. Sup
posing they find them who is 60
ing to search for the American
war vessel?
A New York man, arrested
for theft, made an excuse that
he was a human mouse, a prena
tai mark, and couldn't help it.
The excuse might have gotten
by at that if he'd stolen nothing
but cheese.
Christy Mathewson was fined
$40 for driving his auto too fast.
1t isn't often a pitcher is fined
for showing too much speed.
1t is announced that the late
Prof. Agassiz left an estate of
more than 100000, but he
did not make it all teaching
school.
French women are having
their faces dimpled. Can the
creases be taken out or will they
be filled up if the fad passes?
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Paris POSTAGE Stamp EXCHANGE.

~ curb market in Paris" was writ
ten on a picture postcard received
from that city by a Wall street broker
1t showed an open space thronged with
men, women and boys, many Of whom
held books and portfolios. 4 letter by
the same mail explained that this was
the postage stamp exchange" where
dealers and collectors assembled once
every month ito do business and to
regulate prices Here one may find
schOo!bOyS. great lawyers. society wo-
men. >hrrvd traders. writer's. mer-
chants and men of all professions ex-
rhanging buying and showing stamps.
ana. although there is no organization,
all seem to follow unwritten laws, and
the gathering is rs interesting to look
upon IL that stock market in your city
Thich has no roof over its head
New York Tribune
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Sure IL Was Safe.

You say that your airship is abso-
lutely SAFE" said the investigator.
Now, how can you make that state
ment?'
I'VE haven't been able to get IT to
cave the ground" replied the In
ventor.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
men,.

Scientists claim they have
found the skull of ths missing
link. May be so,, but more like
ly it belongs to some boneheaded
baseball player slain last sum-
mer.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Two Sides.

There are two sides, you know. to
every argument" said the ready made
philosopher.
YES" replied the gloomy person.
but it makes a difference which side
you choose. There two sides to a piece
Of fly Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Luke McLuke Says.

Every man has his price and
every woman has her figure.
A man is never as loyal to his
wife as he is to a strange man.
All is not fair in love. There
are some mighty sweet bru-
netteS.
When a man hates you don't
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Bound to Please Her.

I've tried for ten years to please my
wife," said the married man. "and I've
never yet succeeded"
"Impossibler' calculated his friend.
"No. | don't think it is" said the
married man. I'm going to shoot my
Eelf."-Satire.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

The next session of the Kent
ucky Educational Association
will be held in the City of Louis
vile on April 80, May 1, 2 and 3.
The program makers have ar
ranged for a great variety of
work, and this will be interspers-
ed with sufficient amusement to
make it both interesting and in
structive. The program will
have on it the leading educators
of Kentucky and in addition a
number of the leading educators
of national fame from outside
the state.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

Comes a physician who says
we ought to eat the most indi-
gestibIe things we can find. But
all of us aren't newly welded
men.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

The New York woman who
wears her watch On her ankle is
evidently obsessed with the de-
termination not to let time get
away from her.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

The Kentucky Educational AS
ISOLATION meets at Louisville on
April 80, May 1, 2 and 2. There
are 900 teachers in Kentucky.
How many will be present?
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

What right has the Harlem
cigar maker who supported five
wives on weekly salary of SIS
to keep his financial system to
himself?
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
He SWore

She-Was he furious, dear, when you
told him that we had been secretly
married? He-Not really furious. only
sulfurious.-Judge.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
An Exception.

Money. after all. means nothing but
Trouble"
"Still. it is the only kind Of trouble
which 1t is hard to borrow"
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
An Editors Assets.

An editor who has summed up
his business for 1912 wins the
prize for the best review of the
year. 1t follows:
Been broke 361 times.
Had money four times.
Pra sed the public nine times.
Told lies 1,725 times.
Missed prayer meeting So times
Been roasted 431 times.
Roasted others So times.
Washed the office towels three
times.
Missed meals 0.
Mistaken for preacher eleven
times.
Mistaken for capitalist O.
Took bath four times.
Delinquents who paid %.
Those who did not pay $50.
Paid in conscience O.
Got Whipped 80 times.
Whipped others 0.
Cash on hand at beginning 81.
Cash on hand at end Is cents.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05
Defined.

II say. what's call money!
II guess It's the kind you pay tele-
phone bills wi:h"-Baltimore Amer
can.
The Adair County news. [volume] (Columbia, Ky.) 1897-1987, 1913-03-05

None is to be deemed free who has
not perfect self command.-Pythagoras.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
DIR. EyKIBI NAY RETIRE
From EPISCOPAL POSITION

It IS stated at this early date, on
what seems to be authority that the
Rev. Randolph H. McKim, pastor OF
the church Of the Epiphany, Washing
ton. has decided not to stand for re-
election as president of the house Cf
deputies of the Episcopal general con-
Tention- The reason given is his de-
sire to take active part in the impor-
tarnt debates, as a, president cannot do.
These debates. It is stated in the re-
port include the removal Of the words
Protestant EpiscOpaP' from the title
LACE of the book Of common prayer,
an entering wedge of the high church
party toward securing change Of the
ckuFch. Rev Mr.. McKim belongs 70
thu low church party, and his friends
say. in addition to the report, that
there are other things the former pres
ident would seek TO accomplish. Some
besides him viii fight the removal of
the words from the title page, it IS
sai1
The position compares IN Episcopal
church affairs to the speaker Of the
house at Washington in dignity AMI
power. Rev. Mr.. McKim was elected
at Boston in 1904 and reelected at
Richmond in 1907 and Cincinnati IN
1910 He has been generally regarded
as among the greatest Of presiding Of
ficers Of the house of deputies, a place
famous in Episcopal church annals
Discussion Of a new president, to be
elected next October when the general
tens most frequently for the place Rev.
DR.. William T Manning, rector Of Trim
ity church, New York A former rec
toT Of Trinity, the late Rev. DR.. Morgan
Dix, was president Of the house for
many years.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20

The ancient and destructive treatment
so Tong in use for blood poison is now
banished forever. No longer VIII mer-
curv. iodides and arsenic destroy human
kind. The great Swift Laboratory at At
Ianta is making a powerful herbal extract
that is unquestionably one Of the greatest
medical discoveries Of all times This
wonderful preparation Is now on sale in
nearly every drug store throughout the
country under the name Of S. S. s. Its
action is marvellous. Some Of the effects
Of blood poison cured are mucous patches
in the mouth. ulcers on the tongue, lips,
in the nose and throat; copper cOlored
splotches, eczema, articular rheumatism,
scrofulous sores and ulcers, and every de-
gree and stage of blood poison.
The fame Of S. S. S. has become almost
worldwide. It has given perfect health
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
JEWISH WOMEN
FORM SOCIETY
New Organization VIII Occupy a Prom
fnent Place in the SynagOg Or
ganfzatiOn in Future.

A sister body to the Union of Ameri-
can Hebrew Congregations has been or
ganized, under the title. National Fed
Grafton of Temple SisterhOOds. 1t marks
the latest step in the emancipation of
woman in the Jewish synagog. The
federation meeting has the Saction OF
many congregational sisterhoods, and
the movement promises to be very
popular one in the synagog. The meet
ing was opened by J. Walter Freiberg,
president of the Union of American He
brew Congregations, and was addressed
by prominent Cincinnati rabbis-
The first speaker. DR.. David Philip
son, pronounced the movement OF mo-
mentOus significance for Judaism He
traced the development of these new
ideas in recent years, and he said:
wv oman's position has always been
distinguished one in the home, but the
emancipation of Jews has effected
change in the religious status of wom-
an The great leaders Of reform have
lifted their voices in behalf Of freeing
women from the inferior religious posi-
ton held in oriental tradition. / should
like to see in every congregation the
women enlisted in the high service of
bringing congregation and home in
closer relation You have today forged
a mighty weapon in the service Of Juda-
ism"
Opportunity for Jewish Women.
He was followed by DR.. Louis Gross
mann, who extended the congratula-
lions Of his congregation to the newly
formed organization, and said in part:
Judaism has all along been in the Of
fetal keeping Of men They are enti-
tied to the support of the women, whose
obligation is not smaller and whose Op-
portunities for moral influence are
more numerous. The Jewish woman
must help make the Jewish faith cen
trail in the home and in the community,
and she has been equipped for the task
far better than man The Jewish people
are destined to be the examplar for
high morality under modern conditions
which make it so difficult The mother
in Israel will help Israel to be that in
the future just as she has made our
fathers that in the past"
The Federation Of Temple SisterhoOds
a clientele of about $4,000
women, connected with the 200 congre-
cations Of the Union Of American He
brew Congregations.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20

I Of member
First Presbyterian church
all approach grave intutiVey
the God this reach for HE VIII not dsaPP0nt
hldrnRev W. Webd at the Trinity Methodist church
sentiment becomes Oncrated concentrated
aggressive gambling the brOthel viii gospel
gifd in its conquest Of the EARTH and then the millennium viii
eOme-Rey J. F. Williams at the First Baptist church
If Christians
they their business political and personal
different church would beR Kenneth Brown at the East Fl
PasO Presbyterian church
Where a lack of unity a disgrace
of Christi blight the household the master
rObbng of its spiritual and that church
Ed Mcan at the East FL Paso Baptist church
Every believer is to be witness things
pienced the world brought ChsRev E. H
Combs, at St PauFs Lutheran church
studied looking Jesus become like hiRev ThuOn Camp
a Highland Park Methodist church
what what
Calvary Houston Baptist church
primary of preach gospel
forget that the individual who eneshed
social conditions which nORev the
First Christian church
efforts anything ought can
dOne-Dr S A Bright the First Methodist church
voluntary being charge
Adam
aenae and untTansaeRev H Bond the East Ell Methodist
Success able the
CTheau)Rev. Miles the First Congregational church
The fundamental
the matter TINA have the obligation
bOtt at the Westminster Presbyterian church
uoadd cannon as to teach
Sunday school class without heart
Unless earfuny possible something
painfully unsatying living the outskirts of Henry
at the Church Of St Clement
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20

to those who years ago had given up an
nope II has been a revelation to hun
oreds OF physicians who enthusiastically
welcome the remedy that can Danish mer-
curry and other poisons-
There are thousands OF people who
would Ike to know more about the Won
ders Of S 5. S, and a handy little book
with colored plates showing the strange
facts about skin and blood diseases viii
be mailed free upon request to Medical
Department, The Swift Specific Co.. 1sT
swift Bldg, Atlanta, Ca. In the mean
time get 800 bottle Of this remarkable
remedy from your druggist and thus be
assured OF complete and permanent re-
covery from any skin or blood disorder.
Be sure to ask for S. S. S. Do not be
misled into buying blood tonics that have
no aRtidotaI eject.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
POPE BREAKS ANCIENT
CI-GEOlL II CHOOsINE InaLR
POPE Plus RECEIVES THE
AMERICAN STUDENTS IN r

For centuries pOpeS Of Rome have
provided. usually in some church Cf
Rome, their final resting places, after
they shall have lain the traditional
time in St Peters Away back in early
times popes were buried permanently
in st. Peters, but this plan was inter-
rupted six centuries ago by pope BoEi-
face VIII The late pope Leo XIII.
had a tomb prepared in the church of
St John of the Lateran, and for years
Il has been complete. His body still
rests in the marble sarcOphagus, Oc-
cUpied by many of his predecessors,
over the door leading from st. Peters
to the sacristy, while the tomb in St.
John is empty.
During a recent reception to the car
diDals pope Plus X announced his in
tention to break the rule of centuries
and 10 prepare his permanent resting
place in the crypt Of st. Peters. He
stated that he had even selected the
spot and has asked the canOns Of St
PtteE's to take permanent custody. The
body of Leo XIII. is not removed, Ow-
ing to the fear Of an outbreak or dem
onstration. Pope Plus X will avoid
any such possibility. Although making
preparations for his burial, Plus X.
is unusually well at this time. He is
in his 18th year
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20

views will be used to illustrate the
lecture.
DR.. Deutsch is professor of history at
the rabbinical seminary at Cincinnati
There will be no charge for the lecture
Inc program arranged for the Occa-
sion includes: Violin Solo, by Master
Emil IL, SSlIperoerg accompanied by Mrs
Birth" Martin Zielonka; piano solo,
Miss StolarOff; vical solo, "A BedOuin
Love song Harry ROSenstein accom-
panied by Miss Stolaroff.
Visitors Occupy PuIpits.
On account of the illness OF Rev. Her
man G. Porter, Of the First Methodist
cnuren, Dr- S. A Bright, of Albuquer-
que, y NJ, delivered the sermons at
mat church Sunday morning and night.
Rev ). A MacElWain preached at the
SaIVary-HoustOn Square Baptist church
Sunday morning
Rev. Z. ThurstOn Campbell. a mis-
sIonary from Chihuahua, Mex, preached
sunday morning at the Highland Park
Methodist church.
Increase Pastors Salary.
In addition to voting the minister of
sne cnureh an increase in salary, the
congregation Of the Calvary Houston
square Baptist church voted Rev R T.
I IIanks' ITS pastor. q vacation. Mr..
T T1a-IiAs VIII leave Tuesday for Abilene,
Lex, Where Mrs Hanks, who has been
ILL., Is reported to be improving.
Confirmation at st. Clements.
blsnop Cameron Mann, of Fargo, N
u, who has charge of the district of
view Mexico, will be present at the con-
LiirInatlon exercises to be held at the
Clurch or st. Clement next Sunday.
1 esoay afternoon at ( o'clock the
daughters of the King viii hold a meet
ING The choir of that church will
practice Thursday night. beginning at
o'clock The WOman's Bible class
VIII meet at 4 o'clock Friday afternoon
Henry Atkinson, organizing secre-
ttary Of the Congregational union, with
headquarters at Chicago, Ill. will de-
l!Ver a lecture at the First COngrega-
uonal church Tuesday night.
Plans for New Parsonage.
Flans for the erection of the Alta
Vista NJ. E. church parsonage have been
made and the work will proceed in the
near future
Missionary Society Election.
The officers OF the WOmen's mission
airy society Will entertain the women
OF the church at the Trinity Methodist
church on Tuesday afternoon at $3.50
o'clock The program arranged is as
follows: Piano duet, Mrs. Robert Ian
der Mrs Thompson Wheat; vocal solo
Mrs. VIII owen; reading, Reba Elliott:
piano solo. Miss Gail McCullOugh. short
address, Mrs. Empress Arlington. vocal
solo, Mrs. H c. Davis; violin solo. Miss
Alicia O'NeiIl; vocal solo, Miss Walker
Mcclellan.
soc MERCHANTS LUNCHEON soc
Sheldon Cafe.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20

the state fair now is $4,000. and the
commissioners believe this should be
increased to SIS, 900. Various improve
ments, such as a subway under the
mile track at the entrance to the half
mile track. are needed The buildings
also need painting and repairing These
improvements and repairs, it is expect
ed. viii cost $4,000.
It is not expected that the legisla-
ture viii appropriate enough to build
a SIS, 900 or 100000 exhibit building
all at once. but it is hoped that enough
viii be appropriated this year to make
a good start
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
DUCHESS ARRIVES TO ATTEND
HELEN GOULD'S WEDDING

New York. n Y. Jan 2O.-The
duchess of Tallyrand, formerly Miss
Anna Gould, has reached here with her
husband. the duke of Tallyrand. and
her three and One-half year old son,
Prince Howard de Sagan. on the be-
lated steamer Mauritania, to attend the
wedding on Jan. % of Miss Helen
Gould. the duchesss sister. and Finley
J. Sheppard. Anthony j. DreXel, father
inlaw of Marjorie Gould, daughter of
George J. GOuld. aIsO came over to at
tend the wedding.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
CHURCH ATTENDANCE INCREASING
LARGELY IN The LARGER CITIES
Gain of From 10 to % Percent Is Reported by Many
Churches; Graded Sunday School Lessons Are Crit
icized; DR.. McKim May Quit High Epis
copal Position; the Pope Selects
Burial Place in st. Peters.

On this side Of the Atlantic the re-
yised Portuguese version is slowly pro-
ceeding in Brazil The new testament
has been issued, and the old is being
perfected. A bi-lingual version con-
tanning the American Standard revised
version in one column and the revised
Portuguese in the other is now going
through the presses Of the society and
in cue time win appear in Brazil.
POPE Plus RECEIVES THE
AMERICAN STUDENTS IN ROME
A beautiful custom. inaugurated and
enlarged by Pope Plus Y, is the in
formal reception of students in Rome.
This reception takes place at the he
ginning Of the new ear and IS held
in a single room in the vatican, more
hOmelike than some of the great halls.
These students number thousands, and
so those who are allowed the privi-
leGe are selected on scEo- arship. This
year an unusual number of young
Americans were received. The pick Of
American students for the priesthood
20 to Rome and returning home often
become prominent in church and ma
ton
The largest number of students are
in the college of the Propaganda where
missionaries are trained This year,
however, some Americans were in the
delegation received from the college
of the Minor Franciscans. Some of
these young friars, born on farms in
the United States, will go to the Holy
Land to serve at the shrines there.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
ARE MAKING CAMPAIGN
To LEAVE MILLIONS

Disciples of Christ have been en-
gaged for some time upon the raising
of 100000 through their foreign and
81, 00O,0 600 through their home mission
airy agencies. 1t is stated that for for
eign work 100000 has been raised
The home authorities prefer not to
make a statement OF the amount just
now. These causes well advanced, It
has just been decided to enter upon a
joint campaign. The three joining
are the foreign. the home and the wom-
On. The amount now sought is 81, 000,-
600 and the time limit is fixed at the
date Of the opening Of the Panama
canal
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1913-01-20
BIG APPROPRIATION
FOR ARIZONA FAIR

Phoenix, Ariz., Jan. 1s-Twenty-five
thousand dollars a year for main
tenance, $4,000 for special repairs and
improvements, and a general exhibit
building to cost between $4,000 and
100000.
These are the appropriations the
members Of the state fair commission
have asked governor George Hunt to
recommend to the special session of the
legislature, which meets Feb. 3.
The annual amount appropriated for