Evening star., 1913-02-15
At the End Of the Rainbow.
HORRORS OF EXTR
BY Walt Mason.
BY Walt Mason.

I'm afraid We'll have to have a new
washing machine" said Mrs. James
worthy. THE one we have now has
done good service, but when Mrs. Tim
bertow came to do the washing this
morning the machine wouldn't work, and
/ had to send over and borrow Mrs.
PumpernickeIs.
Il wondered as ! was coming home
what new scheme you would have for
blowing in my hard-earned savings"
returned Jamesworthy. I'm glad you
are letting me down so easy. l had
a premonition that you would hand in
requisition for hanging gardens or a
church bell or something of the kind.
L suppose I'll have to dig up, but
wish to say, Mrs. Jamesworthy, that if
women understood home management
there would be no such demands upon
their toiworn husbands.
You women hold your club meetings
and read dippy papers about the re-
naissance. but it never occurs to you to
study up reforms in your household
affairs. If things We're properly man
aged every washerwoman would have
her own equipment. 1t is outrageous
that the womans customers should be
obliged to furnish washing machines and
wringers and patent collapsible tubs.
such furniture, and you may bet that IL
she did there wouldn't be so many
broken washing machines. She wouldn't
slam things around and knock the stuff
ing out of them if she had to pay Tor
them.
She works with borrowed weapons
and implements and takes sort of in
sane pleasure in putting them out OF
commission. All women are in con-
spiracy to increase expenses and send
h,tob oboc nd tn ba this
Mrs. TimbertoW knows that she can't
please you more than by ripping
washing machine to pieces and forcing
your heart-weary husband to blow him
self for a new one The machine that
you say is out of commission was new
just a few brief months ago. l remem-
Der how I denied myself an overcoat all
last winter i'm order to provide that
washing machine, and now you tell me
it's ready for the dump It's no Won
der Mrs Jamesworthy, if there are mo-
ments when I'd like to be laid out on
a couple of trestles with floral horse
shoe on my bosom.
''As l was saying, the washerwoman
should furnish everything except the
clothesline and perhaps the soap when
she comes here to stew our habiliments
and make them like the driven snow.
In the summer L look after the
lawn and engage a highly moral citi-
zen to come here at intervals and NOW
the grass. Do I furnish that delegate
with a lawn mower? Nay, nay, Mrs.
Jamesworthy. He has to bring his own
car of Juggernaut, and he has used the
same machine for many years. That
because it is his own, and he takes care
of it. If | furnished the machine he
would have 1t reduced to scrap iron
in six weeks. This shows how much
more sane are men than women in the
management of affairs. If you exer-
csed supervision over the lawn you
would have me chasing to the hardware
new mower. and there would be no
escape from the poorhouse.
IF you must furnish the equipment
for this destroying angel Mrs. Timber
tow, get her an old-fashioned wash
board and tell her that If she doesn't
like it she will have to lump it. There's
no sense in wasting money for six
cylinder rotary washing machine with
all the latest labor saving devices.
"A washboard was good enough for
my sainted mother, and 1t ought to be
good enough for such woman as Mrs
Timbertow, who has planted three hus-
bands and who is suspected of par
tiality for booze. AS matter of fact,
who Uses it, 1t affords her exercise
which tones up her system strengthens
her muscles. fills her veins with rlch,
red blood, and brings the flush of youth
to her wasted cheeks. / have no doubt
that Mrs. Timbertow would be able to
capture a fourth husband if she re-
iuvenated herself by dligent use OF
washboard.
..Tell that to Mrs. Timbertow your
self said Mrs. JameSworthy, and see
if you escape alive.