davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
THE D. A. r. ELECTION.

Captous criticism points its scornful finger al
the ladies of the D. A. R., who have been in trouble
over the election of president general. The Incl.
dent is presumed to demonstrate how unfit the
women would be for general participation in elec-
tons.
Lets see. 1t is only few short months since the
men were wondering whether, with the electoral vote
split in three parts, the Electoral College unable to
choose, and tine House of Representatives, composed
of twenty-four Republican, twenty-four Democratic
and four equally divided State delegations, any Pres
ident could be elected for these United States.
Give the ladies fair deal. Their deadlock isn't
a circumstance to that from which the Illinois Legis-
lature recently escaped
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

Daughter behold how marvellous the Transformations Of
Vl For the words of lover persuasive than
agents; but the OF husband stranger
than cubisfs meaning.
Lo! during the courtship he SAITH
Beloped thou chum and soucompanon; and desire
fellowship in all the world thine"
But AFTER marriage he straigay saying
go to! must minge with his KIND Yea, only molly
codd,e is without friends among his own se1l
Yet when do meet together talk always of WIVES;
and when drink together drink only TO There
fore are " all DEVOTED husbands"
And this not comtoting Daughter YEA pel, NOT!
Lo! before marriage when taketh thee forth dine he
crying:
rs that the LIMIT?"
But after marriage he gaze and regadeth
her raiment With approval, excLaimng:
For the love of Mike why can't YOU something like tha'
For husband good we like unto the CON-
STITUTION which is aH right fundamentally but in need Of
amendments
Who flatereth like a WIDOWER, Daughter?
Lol his distilled honey and his praises
like unto old wine.
Yea BEL OMNG peH he dkeh heF to feel deshted Hth
herself.
nhle his wifc LIVED the flowers of his compliments
cold storage that they perfectly FRESH
slender nothing confirmed bachelor shopworn
from
Mark how thrilling of damse, Beloved
goeth a head that he sleep, but sigheth
awake all thinking of what thou had said
But WIFES soothing. YEA the droning
summer the pumping steamer
comforeh husbands SOUL And should suddenly he
n,ould awaken from his REVERIE NTH great start
Behold Solomon Mise! Solomon great! Solomon gor-
See hon he ruleth hundred hand
ratien, and tender, and loyal
Yet Solomon only ONE ne uhat Houd all his philosophy
apaH hn'
For sepen hundred wives VARIETY but one wife
MONOTONY. Selah.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
How to Lengthen
Your Life
Avoid Spring Colds.
By J. A. Husick, II. d.

TT IL a matter Of common belief among
the people that to catch cold in the
spring Is a serious matter. A spring
cold lasts 50 long. Is so hard to cure
and difficult to get rid of. 1t Is fursher
believed that In the spring one needs a
special spring tonic to guard onesei
against mysterious spring sicknesses-
AS a matter of fact, however, those
who live according to natures Jaws IN
the winter find themselves IN per.eee
health when spring comes around Tney
need no spring tonics TO MAINTAIN
health. and when they do happen 70
equal ease and readiness in the spring
as at any other time Of the year.
On the other hand. the persons VINO
suffer much from spring colds or otner
Iating some fundamental physiological
law Of healtkful living.
The average person Is usually IN great
fear of cold air. He prefers TO ENJOY
the comfort of warmth In the present 20
the promise of good health in the fu-
ture.
And thus it is that the fear Of cold
during the long months of winter leads
many to keep themselves shut IN. doors
and windows tightly locked, with the
result that they lower their vitality 10
a marked degree and lose their power
of resistance to infection with germs.
AS soon as spring arrives and win
dows and doors are opened and cloth
ing changed, the slightest cold draugnt
strikes those whose vitality has been
lowered during the long months of con-
finement; and the germs of disease fnd
good soil in the body whose state OF
resistance is below par
Thus the obnoxious spring cold comes
on. often II is merely a matter OF in
convenience for some weeks or longer.
Occasionally. however, IL leads to more
serious results. Here and there an in
6lividual is carried off by pneumonia or
becomes a victim of tuberculosis, the
whole trouble beginning with a mild
spring cold.
To avoid this drop the fear of cold
air Nentilate your rooms the whole
winter long freely. Learn to breathe
cool, frequently changed air. This habit
alone will prevent many ailments. Will
do away with the need of spring tonics,
and will help TO maintain sound health
and prolong life.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
JAIL FOR THE HAZERS.

Secretary of the Navy Daniels, apropos Of a
hazing case at the Annapolis Academy, intimates
that he thinks hazng is just plain bullying that it
indicates streak of innate cruelty and that it is
not necessary part of the educational preparation
Of officers of the navy. Moreover he indicates that
if it doesn't stop, of the hazers will break into
Jail.
The Secretary is right The naval authorities
have been repeatedly made utterly ridiculous by the
solemn importance given to investigations of hazing
The public has come, rightly wrongly, to suspect
that the navy whole looks upon hazing as an
institution that should not be destroyed but toward
which the official frown must be turned because the
public doesn't like it. 1t is preposterous that the
governments military branches should be unable to
stop such practices if they honestly want to stop
them; and it is quite inadmissible that the military
authorities want to pretend great severity, while
secretly condoning the performances.
Either let the hazing 60 ahead without making
mountain of sensation of its molehill or else
stop it short and sharp The Secretary seems
~ nave plan that will be effective.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
NEARING THE MEXICAN CRISIS.

All the advices from all parts of Mexico point the
conclusion that another crisis in the politics Of
that country is at hand. The outside world is getting
a clearer view of affairs there 1t is plain now that
the murder of Madero merely incident IN
the great revolutionary movement that started in
1910. That revolution was marked by the rise Of
Madero, the fall of Diaz, the provisional presidency
of de la Barra, the presidency of Madero, the
Huerta-Diaz treason, the murders of the Maderos
and Suarez-but it was all great national revo-
lutionary epoch and movement The murder of
president and the elevation of traitor and murderer
to momentary authority based on control of the
army, could not for long dam back the tide of ma
tonal protest against the general program of magnif-
cent exploitation. Every hour the dam holds the
flood, the pressure becomes greater and the deluge
more certain.
Huerta, ignorant, vicious and incapable of under
standing seems to have undertaken to turn clever
trick against the United States when he sent Rosas
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
WHY NOT?

Legislation is seriously proposed, to increase ths
Supreme Court from nine 10 eleven members.
There are large number of minor Federal
judges scattered around the country who occupy
veritable snaps" without nearly enough work rea
sonably to occupy them. Fewer of these, and some
1e-enforcements for the Supreme Bench would seem
exceedingly sensible.
Or tine result could be attained by further re-
strctng the classes of cases appealable to the Su
preme Court.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
THOUGHTS UPON OBSERVING THE
PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THE AU-
TOMATO BASEBALL ROARDS

CReproducing a verse that has seen the Iish,
before.)
"A sucker is born every minute"
Thus ripples the pessfmists thought
A patent untruth; it's a sin it
8 permitted to publish such rot.
Those phrases sound clever aud snappy;
But that's not the ultimate test;
They only make people unhappy;
They bring about social unrest.
One suckers NOT born every minute;
That's neUer the suckeric rate:
That figures not dnyiohere In it;
IT'S closer to seven or eight.
Here's a fine state of things Ma
terial for the OAR type of paragraph
has been utterly exhausted, and ye,
they continue to ballot. No considera-
tion at all.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
One on the Donkey L.

SCOTCHMAN was riding a dom
~ key one day across a sheep
- pasture, but when the animal
came to sheep drain he would
not go over. So the man rode back a
short distance, turned and applied the
Whip. thinking, of course. that the dom
KEY. when at top speed. would jump
the drain. But when the donkey got to
the drain he stopped sharply and the
man went over his head and cleared
the drain No sooner had he touched
the ground than he got up, and. looking
the beast straight in the face, said:
"Verra we'll pitched. but, then, hoo are
ye goin' to get over yoursel!?'-Tit-
Bits
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Plenty of Hope.

HEY had just become engaged.
What joy it will be-" she ex-
claimed, for me to share your
griefs and sorrows,'
But, darling" he protested. Il have
none"
No" she answered. but when we
are married you will have."-Ladies'
Home Journal.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

Those who believe this life to be all
work and no fun are hereby advised OF
asked Senator, hold tight while we tell
You his name. BOIES PENROSE OF
Pennsylvania. who are affected by
these great tariff cuts to be given no
opportunity to present their side of the
case?" Laff? You spoke to the mark.
rough reader
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
STILL, 1T MIGHT BE WORSE.

HeN in Washington where most of the people
think they perfectly eligible to political rights
they have none, and aren't permitted to elect a
single representative in any political capacity
Still, it might be worse. A South Dakota town is
going to elect its saloonkeepers.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Amusements.

National-'The Garden OF Allah"
y. M.
Belasco-Vaudevills.2 2:l5 and Sis D m.
C'olumbia-"Clothes," Sis p. m.
Polfs-"Old Heidelberg" els and Sis
D. IN.
Academy et-Rich-Quick walling-
ford sis p. III.
Chase's-Talking pictures. TO II p. N.
Cosmos-Vaudeville.
Casino-Vaudeville
Lyceum-"Big Review" 2:l5 and Sis p.
m
Gayety-"Robinson Crusoe Girls" s:S
and Sis p. m.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

Denuding the Moore case OF its su-
perfous trimmings and addenda tire
trouble with tn Prof seems to have
been that he couldn't take a hint.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
What's on the Program ia
Washington Today

The following Masonic organizations
Will meet tonight: knights Tsmplar-
Columbia Commandry, No. >. grand
visitation and installation of officers.
Eastern Sar-Martha Chapter. y. (.
The following |. o. o. F. organizations
will meet tonight: Lodges-Central,
No l. degree: Metropolis. No. Is. and
Phoenix. No. -, business. Rebekah
Degree-M:riam Lodge. No. 16, degree
The following n. of p. organizations
will meet tonight: Lodges-Syracus-
ians. No. 10. business: Mount Vernon.
No. 5. anniversary. Pythian Sisters
Rathbonc Temple. No. 8. business
Meeting of National Union Club Pyth-
ian Temple. tonight.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

The Democrats. as We sharpshoot III
Schedule X situation, seen the duty an'
will cut 1t.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18


do now said well-known
Frenchman. THE emperor one day
met an old one-armed veteran.
Where did you lose your arm? he
asked.
Sire, at Austerlitz.'
And were you not decorated!
No. sire
Then here is my cross for you; l
make you chevalier.
Your majesty names me chevalier
because / have lost one arm. What
would your majesty have done had l
lost both arms?
oh, in that case | should have made
you officer of the legion
"Whereupon the old soldier immedi-
ately drew his sword and cut on his
other arm"
There is no particular reason to doubt
this story The only question is, now
did he do t?-Everybody's Magazine.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Come to Think of It-Yes.

G. s. IA: II d. caught one word
out of every fve at the talkies, isn't
200 his fielding average. instead of bat
ting?
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
THIS& THAT
AGAIN ON SUMNER.
in Sometimes . LHfie srfhe Other

What though the sun in its torridness
shines?
What though we frizzle and stew?
Ho! for the greatest of glorious lines
Boston at Washington (2).
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

II the lists aren't closed we take
pleasure in nominating the female
(CubisD bridge game.
The Cubist bridger, as friend of
ours suggests, being one who plays by
ear
PERSONS WE HAVE NEVER NET
I'LL
The newsboy who has change for a
nickel.
Denuding the Moore case OF it's su-
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

Add permanent heads: Friedmann's
Vaccine Soon To be Placed on Market
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

Twenty dollars each for the Fried
mann cure.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Yes: 1t Means Dabney May or May
Not Be Weather Chief.

G :. n: ordered Wilson pudding
at A restaurant and found that II
wasn't even SO good as Cabinet pud-
ding. Is there any political signlf-
canoe in that?
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

As o. Henry called It. the Haul OF
Fame.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

The male lobbyists at the ID. A r
elections.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

A thorough study of the Cobb -Navin
matter reveals that the latter has now
issued four last statements to Cobb S
three. Aufgewacht there. Ty!
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Good Stories
An Old One RetoId.

--HEY thought more of the Le-
gion of Honor in the time OF
the first Napoleon than they
A. cold Upll-kn0wn
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
The Gorgonian Giggle.

G. s. X: Here's a regular peach Of
a joke:
Says l to a friend. i've a new incu-
bator.'
Says he, facetfous, Can you play it
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

We never have any luck. Now II
it only had been a reduction in the silk
come as a bolt out of a clear sky
why. there'd have been a paragraph in
it. Silk: bolt-but Of course you get
il.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
Big League Biffers of a
Day.

t5o-5o with the sporting page.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

VOTES ARGUMENTS.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

PERSONS WE HAVE NEVER NET.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

What make is it," says ne.
m not sure" says |, with a bit of
a wink. but think it's a Chickering.''
CAPITOL.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

trouble with tn Prof. seems to have
been that he couldn't take a hint.
Yes: 1t Means Dabney May or May
Not Be Weather Chief
e. s n: ordered Wilson pudding
at a restaurant and found that II
wasn't even so good as Cabinet pud-
ding. Is there any political signlf-
canoe in that?
BEATTY.
thorough study of the Cobb -Navin
matter reveals that the latter has now
issued four last statements to Cobb's
three. Aufgewacht there. Ty!
NEWS FROM THE FRONT.
Dear G. S. X:
Hurray! Hurray!
Saw Bobbie Groom
The Yanks today!
wAsHIHGToNIAN.
Tn. Polo Grounds New York.
In a Greensburg Pa. hotel:
LUNCHEON AND MEALS.
Add permanent heads: Friedmann's
Vaccine Soon to be Placed on Market.
VOTES ARGU MENTS.
M.
The male lobbyists al the u. A. r.
elections.
The Democrats. as We sharpshoot the
Schedule X situation. seen the duty and
will cut 1t.
Come to Think of It-Yes.
G. 8 X: II d. caught one word
out of every five at the talkies isn't
200 his fielding average. instead of bat
ting?
Twenty dollars each for the Fried
As o. Henry called 1t. the Haul OF
Fame.
G. 8. K.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18
NEWS FROM THE FRONT.
Dear G. S. X:
Hurray! Hurray!
Saw Bobbie Groom
The Yanks today!

The Polo Grounds. New York.
The Washington times., 1913-04-18

G. q. K.
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
RECTOR EXPLAINS
MARRIAGE LAW

Discussing the revised marriage
law IN the current Trinity annals,
the Rev. f. NJ. Kirkus says
THE new law concerning marriage
licenses will go into effect on June
l. Its chief provisions are that in
the case of residents. "a hours mus
elapse after the issuing Of a license
before the ceremony Of marriage can
be performed; and in the case OF nom
residents OF the State, both parties
must be present when the license S.,
applied for and the license must be
issued ninety-siX hours before the
ceremony can be performed. IL alsr
provided that all licenses issued shall
be OF public record. These changes
should put an end to the use OF VII.
mingtOn as Gretna Green by
thoughtless or malicious people con-
templatine marriage from frivolous
or unworthy motives.
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
UNCLE SAM URGES
MUTTON

WASHINGTON. April Virtually
every known way of preparing NUT
ton to eat is set forth in the latest
addition to the series OF widely cir
culated cook books published by the
Department OF Agriculture. Should
it prove as popular as some Of its
predecessors its circulation will
mount to a million or moro copies,
as did the now famous meat cook
book and the cheese cook book.
Recipes for mutton. boiled, steam
ed, braised, stewed, roasted, broiled,
and fried, and even mutton warmed
over are set forth in detail to the
number of sixty and the making OF
sauces. relishes, gravies and stuffins
for various mutton dishes is describ-
ed in a manner which the newest
bride could easily follow. All re
cipes have been tested and standard
lied.
Mutton and its value in the diet
or farmers bulletin No. 526" as the
newest Government cook book is call
ed was written by G. f. Langworthy.
Phi. d., chief of nutrition inyestiga-
tions, and Caroline L. Hunt, A. b.,
expert in nutrition, at the suggestion
Of former Secretary of Agriculture
James Wilson, who frequently advo-
Gated that the American people ea'
more mutton instead of so much
other meat He argued mutton Is
cheaper and equally nutritious.
ln concluding 32-page pamphlet
the authors assert that mutton is
we'll worth the attention Of the house
Wifc who wishes TO provide her fam.
lily with an attractive and palstabls
diet at reasonable cost
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
MEASLES CLOSE
MIDDLETOWN SCHOOL

Special to THE TVl1NING JOURNAL
M1DDLETOWN. Del. April "a
Tho annual election of the Light ana
Water Commission VIII be hedl on
Monday, May 8. at the office of Jus
tice Of the Peace Alfred G. Cox. when
one commissioner win be elected to
serve iye years.
A large number OF the members
and friends OF the bethesda NJ y.
Church attended the reception given
the Rev. and Mrs. Clinton L. Wyatt,
on Friday evening in the sunday
school room.
Sheriff Walter s. nurris has rent
"a the building formerly occupied by
tho J. G. Parker Company as a har-
ness factory and VIII open a garage
there. Mr. Burris is The county agent
for the Ford Auto. and will use the
building as a salcsroom and repair
shop.
Miss Frame. of Bridgevllo. has
been the guest OF Mrs Manloyc ID.
Wilson on Green street.
Mrs. Francis koerncr. OF Whining
ton, is visiting az the home OF Mr.
and Mrs. Arthur Evans near Mt
Pleasant
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles schuman
and children have returned from a
few days stay in Baltimore. Md
Mrs j. Reese Frazier and children
have been visiting her brother, Mr.
Rodgrave.
Mr. and Mrs Henry Wallace, OF
Philadelphia. visited Mr. and Mrs.
Alexander Matten last week
Miss Agnes Crowley entertained
tho card club last Thursday after.
noon at her home on Cochran street
Miss Laura Connellec and brothe,
Alfred are confined to their home
with an attack Of measles.
Mrs. j. p. Cazier. of Mt Vernon
Place near Kirkwood. is spending the
week at the home OF her daughter
Mrs. George l.. Townsend, Jr.
Mrs. V. l.. Culbertson. OF vii.
mington was an over Sunday visilo,
with realtiyes here.
The public schools were closed
last Friday because OF measles
among the pupils.
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
NO APPOINTMENT
YET FOR R0SSELL

John $ Rossell vice-presidcut of
the Security Trust and Safe Deposit
Company. who was in Atlantic City
for short stay for a rest. was back
at his desk today as busily engaged
as ever. Mr.. Rosscll intended to re.
main away about six weeks. but was
compelled to break into his vacation
for business reasons Fle proposes 10
leave again in about ten days. but
has not yet selected his destination
Whom Mr. Rosseil was asked about
the rumor connecting his name with
the G8Ternorship OF Porto Rico. Mr..
Rossoll smiled and said that the ap-
pointmcnt was sometime on and he
had nothing to say
Evening journal., 1913-04-23

The people of Wilmington seem to
be either ignorant or unconscious OF
the many beautiful and interesting
things OF nature that are TO be found
on a ramble along the Brandywinc at
this season OF the year. and indeed
at any time OF the year. Even per
sons unacQuainted with the habits Of
the small animals, the birds and in
sects and plants, their haunts ana
hiding places. may, il at all obserb-
ing, find much there to excite the in
tereet
Il hardly seems possible to mo
that with a veritahle garden Of Eden
at sour very door so few take the
trouble TO visit and explore il. II
visited at all Il Is, IN many instances
with no eve for the interesting things
that bound there, but to glide swiftly
by il I'll in an automobile or TO walk
along at a rapid pace with the mind
absorbed with something foreign to
what may be seen about him.
For real recreation of mind and
body after a weeks grind az ones
daily task in the swirl OF business
there is in my opinion. nothing com
pared to an hour or so spent rams
bling along this nne old stream alb
sorbing every interesting phase OF
nature in sight and becoming ac-
Quainted with the habits Of our lit
tie nelghbor, the squirrels and birds.
and listening to the music OF the
babbling stream as 1t flows over ana
among the rocks This Is medicine
for the sick body, balm for the scar
ed heart and rest for the weary mind.
To get close 10 IL understandingly
drives away troublous thoughts.
smoothes away the lines OF care
from ones brow and makes US feel
more kindly towards our neighbor.
To sit down on one OF the benches
in a quiet and secluded spot along
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
wOODDALE

Special TO THE EVENING JOURNAL
WOODDALE. Del, April 23--Miss
Ruth Alexander entertained at her
heme on Sunday The following
guests Miss Mamie Kemball. Ruth
Alexander. Benjamin Combs. Jacob
Sfrickler. Joseph Combs. Edward Nc
Keown, Raymond Fulton and Thomas
Brown.
Joseph Mullen and Michael Toomey
have returned home after visiting
friends AZ Avondalc.
Misses Barbara Stahl. Alice Brown.
and Julia Martin visited Miss Anna
Toomey on Sunday.
Miss Josephine Mccarthy and Miss
Mary Toomey are spending few
days I'm New Jersey
Bernard and Harry Stahl visited
friends in Philadelphia on Sunday.
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
NOBODY SPARED
Kidney Troubles Attack Wilmington
Men and Women, Old and Young.

Kidney Troubles Attack Wilmington
Men and Women, Old and Young.
Kidney ills seize young and old.
Often come with little warning.
p Children suffer in their early
years
Can't control the kidney secretions
Girls are languid, nervous, suffer
pain.
Women worry. can't do daily work.
Men have lame and aching backs.
II you have any form of kidney Ills
You must reach the cause.-the kid
neys.
Doan's Kidney Pills are for weak
ki1neys-
Have brought relief to Wilmington
people.
Wilmington testimony proves it.
Mrs. A. Baldwin. GA Lombard St.,
Wilmington. Del. says: "One of our
family was troubled a great deal by
his back and kidneys. He had severe
pains through his back and often was
stiff and lame. when he would get up
i'm the morning. Doan's Kidney Pills
gave him complete relief"
For sale by all dealers. Price So
cents. Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doans and
take no other.
Evening journal., 1913-04-23
TRINITY PARISH
NEARS 2l5TH YEAR

Trinity Sunday will occur this
year on May Is. The 2l5th an
niversary OF Trinity parish will be
celebrated at Old Swedes' Church by
the usual joint service at II o'clock
Rector aud officers Of Trinity Church
are expected to attend the service.
and as many others among our peo-
pie as can make it convenient to do
so. The anniversary sermon will be
preached by the Rev James Clayton
Mitchell. rector OF Calvary Church,
Germantown.