Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1913-04-24
BFRxzLYB0N5NCE

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Il you can't pay as you go, you viii find the going mighty poor.
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An egotist is a man who thinks he is better than you are.
If these. iabs are not strong enough for you-read the jim
Jam Jems this month. -As-4s4s ss F%#
No, Maude, it is not necessary to use a fountain pen to write
... s.s
President Wilson is no imitator He has not once said he
stands for a square deal Or that he feels bully.
The city commissioners are still - unshy., \, It is hard for
Mr.. johnson to get them to use an automatic"
Anybody who is willing to take a chance ought to venture
the prediction that the backbone Of winter is broken.
Did you ever see anything happier than a bunch Of your
neighbours chickens scratching IN your newly made lettuce bedY
When a man begins by saying you are too wise to be caught
like a sucker, look out. He is going to try a new kind OF bait
on you.
Redfeld and the whole of Sphinx county went dry at the last
election. That town of Henry ought to be as good as Kranburg-
to tb Jim ns, Ws!s Il H tps i ig fg9m a tbS p pHtst the ts s5nsg t das. uh hs s yaa
are out to the lake-drop in" All right, Jim, we will try any
thing once-even to taking a bath
a a. re ,aits lis is &c gsth in g1 ready to to 60 ,t over IT the J pass asii,.d Abe rs sits
duck will get better than a $500 spring suit BY the time Abe let's
go the second barrel Of his oldsmoke pole.
GOOD OPENINGS.
Have you any place open for me in this establishment
asked the conceited young man.
ssTwo or three places, said the stern employer.
ssWhere are they9'
1.-THE front, side and back doors
OUCH!
~. There was a young lady named Astor,
Whose hobble fit her like a plaster,
But she happened to sneeze
And she felt a cold breeze
g4 And she knew she'd met with disaster.
era, q a story tSs sj j; gei N a the eea p9nRd b, amen sbt 5f Raps tsis aDo9 Th ths sd fgar
.S slsi VI : X sq hspd { 4 bu eGpn' up b Rap Community nnuni yn and II better I the econ con-
diions of his home town. He died a poor man, but his funeral
lnq n subscribers + 4 an each sDGno Of them lei I pityingly remarked: He
was a good man, but he never could make money"
We have all seen people who talk all the time and never say
much rpe s people ase who 1 n1v snd say az m Her1 l; ad yet eso aPea Kh v0l s~ lt pso apd
do a great deal, people who look like giants and behave like
giants, people who have good clothes, but very ragged morals,
people who have an idea they are religious mainly mainly because they the
who try their best to kill their neighbor with their tongues.
BEHOLD! THE FISHERMAN.
:, Bert Babeock Of this city: has handed the pastor OF the
He rMeth up early in the morning and disturbeth the whole
household.
Mighty are the preparations.
he returneth, smelling Of strong drink and the TRUTH is not in
GOT BACK AT HIS WIFE.
A Cincinatti lawyer tells this on himself. He has a wife who
talks back and she sometimes gets the worst Of it. a few even
isn't cooked to suit me, he growled aImast as soon as he had
seated himself at the table.
a COOK
About the middle Of the night she poked hubby in the ribs
and yelled into his left ear, sect up, hear burglars in the house
Between shores John managed to say, "Get up yourself, you
didn't marry a policeman"
WHY MUSIC PUBLISHERS DRINK
Dere sr-I am sending in this letter a poam of tweny-one
verses which want you to put music to and what is the price
Tt is called The Dead Lover.
= She sat within a winder and a tear stood in her eye,
The bells were toleing sadly as she saw a beer go by.
Whose form lies there she wondered, and whyfore do | cry,
Why does my heart beet so because that beer is passing by.
Her lover dere had went away and left her THAR tic sigh,
And all the time that solemn beer was going farther by
THIS MAN is HIS OWN GRANDFATHER
& Angus Carney, who has announced that he is his own grand
father, has the neighbors doing arithmetic. @
Carney has complied the following:
/ met a widow with a grown daughter and ! married the
widow. Then my father met the step-daughter and married her
which made my wife the motherinlaw of her fatherjnlaW and
made my step-daughter my step-mother, and my father became
my step-son.
Then my step-daughter. the daughter Of my wife, had q son;