davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
You Don't Yawn When Sleepy.

A good, wide, open-mouthed yawn is
a splendid thing for the whole body,
says a hygienist. A yawn is natures
demand for rest. Some people think
they yawn only because they are
sleepy. But this is not so. You yawn
because you are tired. You may be
sleepy also, but that is not the real
cause of your yawning. You are
sleepy because you are tired, and you
yawn because you are tired. When.
ever you feel like yawning, just yawn.
Don't try to suppress it. And, if you
are where you can stretch at the
same time that you yawn, just stretch
and yawn. This is natures way of
stretching and relaxing the muscles.
Indeed, if you are very tired but do
not feel like yawning, there is moth
ing else that will rest you so quickly
as to sit on STRAIGHTFORWARD cna!r,
and, lifting the feet from the floor,
push them out in front Of you as far
as possible, stretching the arms, put.
ting the head back, opening the
mouth wide, and making yourself
yawn. Those tense nerves will relax,
the contracted muscles will stretch
and the whole body will be rested.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
SAYS PATENTS HELP PUBLIC
Give 20 the Citizen the Right of En-
joynent of the Property Of the
Original inventor.

A patent right is not monopoly
within the true definition of the word,
says writer III Leslie's. 1t is not an
appropriation from the public domain
Of anything. Every invention is q
new creation. 1t is an addition to
the worlds knowledge and instrument
talities. It il the sole individual
property of the inventor, its creator
The public has absolutely no right
in it
In behalf CT the public, however, the
government seeks to make a contract
with the inventor whereby it's citi-
zeEs shall have the enjoyment of the
invention at the end of the brief Pc
Rod of II years. The right chen is
the right t., exclude others from u.s.
ing, or appropriating. what is. in the
first instance, and continues to be,
the inventors own. 1t is tbs inven-
tor that gives all that is given. The
public is the real beneficiary.
It is because of this, and because
the patent laws offer the inducement
to the inv entor to disclose his inven-
ton, that the public has obtained the
benefits and advantages that have pro-
ceeded from the development of the
arts and sciences under the stimuiat-
inS influence Of these benefcent laws
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
PREPARE SABLE FOR MARKET
Fur as II Is Taken from the Animal Is
Not the Magnificent Thing That
One Sees in Wraps.

"Otter hunts are fashionable in Eng
land" said the manicurist, "and I call
that a sensible kind of hunt. Look at
the otter skins the girls can collect
and otter coats so fashionable now,
too!
"I wouldn't mind collecting an otter
coat myself. But how would you like
to belong to a sable hunt, girls, and
collect a sable coat?
"a customer Of mine, though, fur
dealer, told me I wouldn't know a
sable if I saw one. l thought, of
course, they'd be soft, fluffy little fell
lows, but he says they have hide as
fiat as a rats. He says that when
the skins are taken from the animals
they are so hard that they are placed
in a tub and a barefooted man steps
in and begins to tread on them to
soften them. the tub is tilted so that
at each step the man takes the skins
slide down the slope and are kept
moving. The man treads for hours
and hours before any pile appears.
When it begins to rise the skins are
oiled and the treading begins again.
This is continued until the skins are
as supple as chamois and the pile has
become so high that the fur has that
soft depth and beautiful rich gloss
which we see on Fifth avenue.
Il always thought sable was
pretty creature, with fluffy fur like q
kitten, didn't your"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
MADE IT MATTER OF RECORD
Mark Twain Bound to Satisfy His
Better Half That He Had Obeyed
Her Injunction.

Samuel L. Clemens immensely adj
mired Grover Cleveland, also his
young wife, and his visits to Wash
ington were not infrequent. Mrs.
Clemens was not always able to &C.
company him, and he has told us how
once Git was his first visit after the
presidents marriage) she put little
note in the pocket of his evening
waistcoat, which he would be sure to
find when dressing, warning him
about his department. Being present
ed to Mrs. Cleveland, he handed her
a card on which he had written, He
didn't" and asked her to sign her
name below those words. Mrs. CleVe-
land protested that she couldn't sign
it unless she knew what it was he
hadn't done; but he insisted, and she
promised to sign it if he would tell
her Immediately afterward all about
it. She signed, and he handed her
Mrs. Clemens note, which was very
brief. 1t said:
Don't wear your arctics in the
White House"
Mrs. Cleveland summoned mes.
senger and had the card she had
signed mailed at once to Mrs. Glenn.
ems at Hartford.-Albert BigeloW
Paine, in Harper's Magazine.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Half-Done Work.

There is an old story Of miser
who had hidden his great treasure I'M
der large bowlder. The secret was
discovered by two blacksmiths, each
of whom determined to secure the
wealth, and set about preparing crow
bars to pry up the rock. The one was
in such haste that he did his work
carelessly, and though he was first on
the spot his poor tool snapped, and
he could not accomplish his purpose.
While he fastened back to his shop
to repair the damage the second
smith, who had made ready more care
fully, came with his strong bar and
carried off the treasure. Half-done
work defeats it's own ends, and the
success for which one is not ready is
not ready for him.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Considerate Sailor,

The paying teller of one of the
Cleveland banks says that on certain
day last month jolly tar, arm in arm
with his friend John Barleycorn, came
rolling up to the window.
"How's business, mater" began the
seaman, sprawling both arms on the
glass ledge.
Fair" replied the paying teller in
diligently. "Only fair. But we hope
it will pick up before long. By the
way, what can I do for you?"
well, you see it's like this" said
the tar, pulling out check for $50,
made payable to bearer. Here's a
check as calls for a lot O. money.
But l amt goin' to be hard on you
if business amt good. No, sir! That's
not my style. You just give me $40
down and send me the other $40 some
time when things are looking up!"-
Puck.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
QUICK THOUGHT, WITH NERVE
Incident That Shows Modern Young
Man Is Quite Able to Lock =
Out for Himself.

A certain literary man, pcsscSsoT or
the learned degree Of doctor, used to
take his midday luncheon at a we'll
known West End cafe in London. One
wet day the place was less fully at
tended than usual, and the miserable
state of the weather induced most Of
the visitors 10 seek their various en-
Payments as speedily as possible.
While proceeding to follow their ex-
ample, the doctor was astonished to
find, in place of his shabby and
wealth er-beaten head covering. a styl-
ish tall hat, shining with sparkling
brilliancy.
He could only attribute this quasi
magical change to the delicate atten-
ton of some friend, and fastened to
display the acquisition, with no little
pride, tc his family. The next day a
young man accosted him at the cafe
and politely remarked:
Doctor, allow ME to claim my hat
and to apologize for the apparent mis-
take. The fact was, however, l had
no umbrella. and you had one. I did
not know what to do to prevent lay
new hat being spoilt in the rain, and,
as l knew yours could not be made
much worse than it is, borrowed it,,
and now return it, with thanks"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Real Uniformity.

Colonel c. is a fine commander,
but not a musician. He sent for the
chief musician of his regimental band
one day and delivered this scathing
criticism:
81 notice a lack of uniformity about
the band which must be regulated.
Yesterday morning they we're out on
parade, and the largest man in the
band was playing a little bit of an in
strument-flute or something of the
kind-and you mad the big drum
played by a small man. That sort
of thing doesn't look well, and must
be attended to. I want the small men
to play small instruments, and the big
men the big instruments. And another
thing-I want the trombone players to
slide their instruments in and out in
unison 1t annoys me to see them ell
out of step with their hands. Every.
body's Magazine.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
"REsULTS" ALL THAT COUNT
Advancement in Business Office or
Factory Seldom Has Much to Do
With Personal Matters.

1t frequently happens that when
one receives a raise in wages or is
otherwise advanced that one who is
left behind may say of the promoted
one, He Tor she) thinks he is bet
ter than I am"
OF course. it may be that the sue
cessful one only thinks" he is bet
ter. 1t may be case of conceit; 1t
may be ali unjust advance. Such
things do happen. But more likely
than not you as critic overlook the
very thing for which the other was
advanced. 1t is possible, it is prob
able, that in the advancement all the
characteristics that you do or do not
like in the other were overlooked.
The foreman, superintendent or en-
ployer who did the promoting may
have never given thought to the light
er characteristics Of the fortunate
one. He simply measured results; he
just got down to the solid rocks" OF
the quantity and quality Of goods
made, delivered, packed, sold, or the
letters written, accounts kept or what
ever the work of the better" one
was.
You can save a great deal of time
and hasten your own advancement by
measuring success through results
and.not through personal peculiarities
Try to forget the personal popularity
or unpopularity of one advanced, and
to be equally successful find out
what he or she does; do not bother
about what he or she thinks he is
Exchange.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Compliments With a Stinu,

Achilie Duchene, the French archi.
tect, who has come to America tc
build palace on the 10,0OO-acre Cal.
ifornia estate of Mrs. Frank Carolan
the Pullman heiress, praised in Chi.
cago the American skyscraper.
Your skyscrapers no longer look
like cardboard he said. "The Metro.
politan Tower and the WOODWORK.
building in New York are beautiful
examples of architecture and you
have other skyscraper buildings OF
equal loneliness and gradeur.
IT can praise the American sky.
scraper unreservedly without any OF
that sting in the tail of my praise
which is common in foreign discussion
of America art, and which reminds
one of the two ladies at tea.
1.-TWO ladies met at the Ritz.
"'Why, my dear said the first lady,
how nice your fox furs look. One
would almost think they were new
"The other lady smiled and answer
ed:
"'Oh, thank you! And your Persian
lamb stole, too, looks just as good az
1t did years and years ago."
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Belcian Economy,

Several Belgian cavalry officers
were sent to a horse fair at Ciney, in
the Ardennes, to buy ten horses at a
cost of not more than Al pounds each.
They found nine horses the price Of
which was within the limit, but for
the tenth 46 pounds was demanded.
The officers thereupon sent tele-
gram to the Belgian war Office asking
whether they should buy this horse
and pointing out that if they did not
buy it they would have to go to the
next fair and the expenses for the a6-
6itional journey would amount to 20
pounds. The war Office replied, Com
ply with your instructions" AS re-
suit they had to go to the next fair
and 20 pounds was spent to save ?
pounds.-Brussels Petit Rleu.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
ADOPTING Ones Parents.

II a woman will adopt, parents arc
the best material for the purpose.
They will not be insubordinate; from
the days when from the vantage Of
my high chair I clamored sharply with
my spoon for attention, and received
it, have they not been CAREFUL!
trained in the docility BETTING ali
good American parents? Nor, being
in their safe and sober sixties, are
they likely to blossom into naughti.
ness, large or small, so that the folk
will shoot out their lorgnettes at me,
sneering, pray is this the best you
can do in the way of imparting a
bringing-up?"-And how much better
than an adopted husband are an
adopted father and mother! They will
not go about tapping cigar ashes over
my maindenly prejudices; they viii
tread gingerly and not make horrid
mess Of my very best emotions. Yes;
to all ladies about to adopt, recon.
mend parents.-From the Atlantic.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Standing on His Rights.

The next witness was hard-fsted,
resolute yeoman, with a bristling chin
beard
"Mr. Gigon," said the attorney for
the defense, "are you acquainted
with the reputation of this man for
truth and veracity in the neighborhood
in which he lives?"
"I reckon I am,"' replied the witness.
IT will ask you to state what it is"
well, sir, his reputation fur truth
amt no good. His reputation fur
vrassity-well, that's diff'runt. Some
says he does, and some says he don't"
WITNESS" interposed the Judge, "do
you know the meaning of 'veracity? "
81 reckon l do"
"What do you understand by the
word?"
The witness twirled his hat h his
fingers a few moments without an
swering. Then he looked up defiantly.
CT refuse to answer that question,
judge" he said, ION the ground that
it might discriminate me-"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
SLOW 70 MAKE ANY CHANGE
Conservatism of Human Nature Shown
In Persistence Of Certain Fea-
lures of Male Dress.

Human nature is first and last con-
sentative" philosophical tailor and
in nothing is that shown more than
in the persistence Of certain features
of dress, once of great practical use,
that are still continued long after
their days of usefulness have passed.
An instance? Look here he said,
and touched the two buttons on the
under side OF his sleeve. And here
again." he continued, and touched the
two buttons en- the back Of a Gus
toner's frock coat.
Now, Of what earthly use are these
buttons?" he Queried. "None what
ever They have survived their use
fitness of 500 years ago-yes, for full
ly that long they have been utterly
useless, but no man would think Of
wearing a frock coat without these
buttons. Conservatism.
What was their use? Why, sew
eral centuries ago, when every man
carried his life in his hand, when it
wasn't safe to go to the shop around
the corner at night, unless you were
armed, for fear some fellow with a
fancied grudge would stick rapler
in you, every man carried sword.
Now, in order that the sword belt
should not sag at the back from the
weight of the weapon two buttons
were placed at the waistband of the
doublet and the belt buttoned to these.
They supported the sword and belt.
Also, it was pretty dangerous TO light
with swords with ungauntleted hands.
Your opponent might slide his rapier
down your blade and, with a swift
twist, wound your hand or fling your
sword from your grasp. Accordingly
gauntlets were always worn, and that
these, which were loose in fit, might
not slip off they were fastened to two
buttons set little way back on the
under side of the sleeve.
1.-The days Of the sword have gone,
the days of the gauntlet have gone,
but the coat and sleeve buttons re-
main as evidence of mans conserVat-
ISM"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Still Heed the Curfew.

At BodmiR, in Lincolnshire, Eng.
land, the curfew bell is still rung
nightly. But many Londoners will be
surprised to learn that the practice
is continued at Lincoln's Inn. 1t is
rung every night at 8, just as in for.
mer days, when all the barristers and
students lived in the inn and were
subject to the despotic rule of the
banchers, who made them dress, dine
and even shave according to rule
And the luckless student who was
out after curfew was severely repri-
manded and for second offense was
liable to be "dismyssed We house."
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
CHANGES WROUGHT 81 THE
:nurino the Course of Centuries Many
Words Have Been Modified to SUIT
s. the Generation Using Them.

In the Romance of Words pup
LEGATION by an English author mucn
soace is devoted to "aphesis," when
means a gradual or unintentlonal loss
If an unaccented vowel at the Degln-
ming of a word. This kind OF "oro
shrinkage is more common than one
might suppose. Sometimes the niu,
die svllable of a word will be slurred
TO the point of extinction. FROM
Mary Magdalen, fearful and penitent'
comes the word maudlin, now gen.
orally used to designate the lachry-
NOSE stage of drunkenness. Sacrlstan
is contracted into sexton; the ola
French word paralysie becomes paisy'
hydropisie becomes dropsy, ana 'iie
word procurator becomes proctor III
English. Bethlehem hospital for iuha-
tics, established in London, came 10
be telescoped into bedlam, much do
Cholmondeley came to be ChuHley
and Marioribanks, Marshbanks. Peei
is for appeal, mend for amend, lone
for alone, fender, whether before
fireplace or outside a ship, is for de-
fender, fence for defense, talnt lol
attaint. The word peach, commonly
regarded as English thief slang, goes
back to the time of Shakespeare ana
is related to impeach, though used 10
indicate informing against an accom-
plice. Sir John Falstaff in act 2, scene
2, in the first part Of Henry ~"
says: IF I be taken, I'll peach 1or
this" The word cad is for Scotch
caddie, once an errand boy, now ia
miliar in connection with golf. Caddle
is from the French word cadet, mean
ing junior or younger brother.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Enormous Wealth of the Borsias


A large proportion of the wealth of
the Borgias appears to have come
down to their descendant, the duke Of
Ossuna, who figures in Disraeli's let
tiers. In 1857 the duke was appointed
Spanish ambassador at st. Peters
burg.
He accepted the post on condition
that the government would distribute
his salary among the poor of Madrid,
as he could not condescend to draw
money from the state. The duke was
then described as 1.-The wealthiest man
in Europe" His property extends
from Cadiz to Turin. He could travel
by coach from Madrid through France
and Germany to Warsaw and sleep
every night in one of his own castles
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
cookino and a COLLEGE Education.

You may have met some academic
damsel or other who, in her zeal over
Greek particles or the carbohydrates,
has no conception of the difficulties OF
a cook or the tactful management of
a parlor maid. But these disabilities
are also found among the ignorant.
David Copperfeld's Dora was no
scholar, and yet contrived to be very
inefficient housekeeper. The practical
wisdom Of life is neither impaired
nor conferred by higher education.
Nor conferred-that is at the moment
the important point. AS a matter OF
justice it is worth while to insist that
the erudite woman is just as likely as
her Ounce of a cousin to manage pri-
vate and domestic affairs with sue
cess. But do not be deceived. She
is no more likely.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Bird Weiahina One-Half Ton.

Undeniably there were giants in
those days." 1t may be that the
"phororhacos" did not weigh quite as
much as the now extinct moa of New
Zealand Whose avoirdupois was
largely in its huge and clumsy legs);
and it was no taller than the giant
ostrich of Madagascar, which meas
ured ten feet in height, but it had by
all odds the biggest head that any
bird ever possessed.
In all likelihood it would have
tipped the scales at not less than hall
ton.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Constipation Cured

DR.. Kings New Life Pills will
relieve constipation promptly and
get your bowels in healthy condi-
tion again. John Supsic, of San
bury, Pa, says: They are the
best pills | ever used, and | advise
everyone to-use them for constipa-
ton, indigestion and liver COM
plant" Will help you. Price Csc.
Recommended by all druggists.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Enalish Pronunciation.

: When Mrs. Newlywed had com
pleted her marketing in the Ridge ave-
nue. market the other day the butter
and-egg man said to her: But you
have forgotten your razor"
Razor" said Mrs. Newlywed, won
Ideripg if the man was trying to make
fun of her. what do you mean?'
why, your bread raiser; your
Yeast cake" was the reply.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16

We are now showing the largest
and best assortment of Millinery
ever brought to Monterey. Seeing
is the proof, so convince yourself.
Our prices are right, and we are
showing no old hats though we
have them, and you can get them
at your own price. Thanking you
for giving us look before buying
elsewhere. We are, Very truly,
Highland Mercantile Co.
perS ullenberger
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Farms For Sale

220 acres limestone land in Au-
glsta county, Va, one mile east of
Jennings Gap, good land suits to
divide, two houses, good barn, ex-
cellent water, 2 orchards, plenty
timber, we'll grassed and public
road. Terms reasonable. Apply
at Recorder office. t
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16

Notice Il hereby notify all per-
sons not to cut any timber or haul
wood from my lands lying on west
side of Jack Mt, in Big Valley.
Any one disregarding this notice
will be prosecuted according to
law. J. D. Carpenter,
At Trimble, Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
Looking Ahead.

Fenshaw-I hear you are to wed
Colonel Swinger, Mrs. Grasse. He's a
noble fellow, every inch soldier, born
to command.
Widow Grasse-H'm! Well see
about that.-Tit-Bits.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
FOR SALE

Extra fine double standard registered
Polled Hereford Bull Calves and Year
lings, sired by Edward 319247, he by
King Edward and out OF PHILIPPE GlanteSs
These Calves will please any one.
MONTERREY STOCK FARM, LINT,
lem Trimble Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16
The Love Letters OF q
Conf ate General

AJ-G12'S y AME AT LAST REVEAL ED
YOU have read the newspaper comments about
r.. f,n,.s Love Letters OF "Conf-dcrats
G:ar1' 4ad you no doubt, like many Others
s,..1l,esd a, to who was the author of this
a-:.r s.r.cs ct love and war. He told rs OF
g.:,t ,,el.s W tn startling realism. he 'p'et~d
tn. s,!i..r's life with humor and psrhos bat
above all els. he lad bare his ov'n love story,
on. most l,eau.iful and sweet that er'p"ed "a
fr IN eh- St r. AID went straight TO GU hear s..
Who WIS, his or at general and true love? New
at tat w. go til y>u he was Major-Sener3l
GEORGE f. Picket. c. S. a the hero OF Cettys6u
ba-tlt, of the Civil War and he wrats the" !
has ow ing 70 rcc4n: developments, given US + -,
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1913-05-16

Childrens wash suits and dresses,
all sizes and colors. Highland Mer
Co.