davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
TFrom the Chicago News

lr iOiIl l4O OAA-So5O ~'N"7-j
Dead men make no sales.
A rolling stone gets the hard knocks.
Give a pretty girl mirror lest she get
lonesome.
Few men so live that when they die the
undertaken sheds tears.
Some automobile owners are hard
pressed to keep the wolf from the garage.
The difference between a hospital and
sanitarium may be from $40 a week up.
Though a man with money be a bad egg,
people seldom take offense until he Is
broke.
No, Cordelia, SO far as we know the
hookworm has never been educated 20
hook a woman's gown up the back.
Things are not always what their names
would indicate. For instance, the vacuum
cleaner is never used to clean VacuuIns-
Sometimes a girl who marries man 10
reform him succeeds thoroughly that
he wouldn't marry again if he lived to De
as old as MethuSelah-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

a bulletin to be issued by the CEN
enc hureau shows that in 1910 out of
. 1852 .522 people in the Boroughs of
Manhattan and The Bronx asa per cent
or over 1,254, 900, were foreign born
whites Over one million were natives
of foreign parentage. while only 1873
per cent. or about $4,000 were native
born of native parentage. And yet
these New Workers think they are
about all there is of America.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

A campaign to form 1000 parish
clubs for the protection of working
girls and a plan by the local chapter
of the Daughters of the American Rev.
oIution for a 100000 hotel with the
same object in view. and with ac-
comrnodations for 1,5o0 women. are
serious movements begun in Chicago,
with promise of success. If carried out
they are likely to accomplish more
good than any legislative action that
could be obtained
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
On the Wagon.

It's a long and lonesome ride
On the wagon:
And monotonous beside.
On the wagon.
But you don't see COWS with wings
Or a green giraffe that sings
Or a rattlesnake that stings
Or a pink bobcat that springs
Or a grizzly bear that clings
Or a thousand other things,
On the wagon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Mrs. Woodrow Wilson's 9 landscape
paintings all failed to sell when ex-
hibited at Philadelphia, though she Of
fered them at markdown prices If the
wife of the head of European state
had done a similG~ thing her pictures
would have been snapped up in hurry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

In attempting to break the senator
ia1 deadlock in Illinois Mr.. Bryan is
evincing a disposition to carry practi-
cal politics into the administration of
his office. Perhaps he has some dip
lomatic jobs to hand out to those
found worthy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
Personal.

Anxious Wife-You say every time
your husband comes home he smells
of whiskey. Dear Madame, do not
worry. If he only smells of it the
whiskey will never hurt him. Drink
ing it is what does the damage
Cuthbert-You ask US what to wear
when voI, go to the theater. Well, we
would advise a coat, vest, trousers,
shirt, collar, necktie, cuffs, socks and
shoes. There may be others who
think differently but this is the usual
order.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

scores or hundreds of miles of sea or
shore.
But cyclone is entrenched in pop
ular usage as the name of the typical
"twister'' of this country, and tor
nado' has poor chance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Mr.. Olney waited until all the news
papers had printed his picture and
said nice things about him and then
declined that Enthusiastically. This
looks like obtaining notoriety under
false pretenSes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
FULL TFASFD WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRES

The State Journal is a member OF fne
Associated Press and receives the run Gay
teleeraph report of that great news or
Plantation for the exclusive afternoon
publication IN Topeka
The news is received In The State Jour
nal hrildints over wires for this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

II will be remembered that the I'll
+anic was "unsinkable." Her sister
ship. the Olympic, is now declared to
be absolutely" unsuitable. The de-
scription is an improvement if not the
hoot
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

The last time Nine. Cavalier got
married, the glad word was, Who's
loony now" Has the new candidate a
witty brother?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Grizzly bears are reported to have
become scarce in California and the
Chicago News suggests that they have
been danced to death.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

One by one ancient and honorable
institutions crumble and fall. One
American League manager has forbid
den his players to play poker.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Smaller hats are being worn by the
women this year. This may be due to
their inability to get the big ones into
the voting booth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Mr.. Olney, of Boston, has refused the
embassy to the court of ST. James, but
possibly Mr.. Murphy of New York,
might accept it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Fortunately, the new statesmen will
have ample time to have their photo
graphs taken in Washington before the
special session of congress opens.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

All the little presidents in Washing
ton are acting as though they were in
fear of the big president.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

I
might be pardoned for remarking, is
some loan; if China wanted that num-
/ Der of taels, it would be easy. 1t takes
| about that number of taels to make
change for a quarter
| Chicago woman says women convicts
should be allowed to wear corsets, be-
cause they lose their self respect when
they lose their waistlines. The Chi
cago woman probably has a waistline
and lots of self respect, but her at
tention should be called to the fact that
some of the finest women of the world
are shaped like a dill pickle.
And it might also be well to call her
attention to the fact that not all women
convicts are denied the right TO be
! squeezed in the middle Some of them
wear straight jackets.
Leavenworth animal trainer was
clawed by a leopard. Bets are seven
to three that it was lady leopard.
The Turks are claiming another vic
tory, but as claiming victories is one
of the favorite outdoor sports of the
Turks, they will have to produce some
Turkish trophies before the claim is
generally accepted.
No matter how ornery man may be,
his wife always gives him credit for
good intentions.
Owners of the Southern Pacific rail-
road of Mexico, are asking the Mexican
scrapperS to please return what is left
of the railroad they borrowed some time
ago, as they might have occasion to use
it some day. But recovering a bor-
rowed railroad in Mexico is about as
easy as recovering a borrowed umbrella
in the United States.
Grape juice punch. introduced into
Washington society by Mrs. Champ
Clark is said to be growing in popu-
larity but is doubtful if it makes any
hit with the sellers of fancy booze who
have grown rich in catering to Wash
ington society
A soft answer may turn away wrath,
but the damp elm club and the cuss
word beats the soft answer when it
comes to dealing with a book agent.
Ex-Governor Hoch thinks the Repub-
licans should Get Together. They have
tried to Get Together, in several in
stances, and were prevented only by po-
lice interference.
The First Robin of Spring no doubt
realizes, by this time, that he made
mistake in not bringing along a sleep
ing bag and camp stove.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

People live longer in cities than in
villages, say German savants. Maybe
city people are more afraid to die.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

The public will forgive almost any
thing. even an offense against decency
and morality bit the laws does not for
-. Hence Cleveland's Golden Rule"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

A Cairo dispatch says a princess has
disappeared from the khedive's harem.
Time to drag the Egyptian equivalent
of the Bosphorus.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

]. p Morgan is returning to Europe
and fresh discoveries of "old masters
may be expected.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

A Pennsylvania judge says many up
right gentlemen get drunk. Maybe so,
but can they stay upright?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Perhaps Sir Thomas Lipton's latest
challenge for the cup is due to the fact
that sales of tea are falling off.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

Sons of great men are not always
endowed with intelligence enough tc
keep them out of bad company.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21

The burglar who got Charles NJ.
Schwab's wallet and found only 5000 in
it. must be a sadly disillusioned man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
by The Way
By HARVEY PARSONS.

China wants to borrow $125, DOC, 900
from United States or anyone else who
wants to make the loan. That, one
might be pardoned for remarking, is
some loan; if China wanted that num-
Der of taels, it would be easy. 1t takes
about that number of taels to make
change for a quarter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
ON TEE SPUR
or The AOMEN1
BY ROY K, MOULTON.
Maud Muller.
ROY K. MOULTON.


Maud Muller, on a summers day,
Raked the meadows, sweet with hay.
A manager rode DER the hill,
A manager of vaudeville.
The finest raker she, 1 ween,
That manager had ever seen.
He watched her for a little while
And openly admired her style.
He said a fortune she could make
In vaudeville with her old rake.
He made an offer then and there
Unto this maiden passing fair.
She packed her suitcase, said goodby,
And to the city she did HE.
Her raking stunt upon the stage
Quite soon became the bowling rage.
Of course it was a patent fact
That there was nothing to her act.
But still they paid, quite strange to
say,
To see the maiden raking hay.
She made the thousands stare and
cape,
She simply got by on her shape.
She owns high power auto now;
To spend her coin she knows not how.
This may sound very queer, but still,
1t is the way of vaudeville.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
Advice to Husbands

When your wife makes a hat for her
self with total expenditure, O. - ~r4.ts.
don't fail to admire it, no matter what
it looks like. Don't admire it so
strongly that she will grow suspicious,
but admire it judiciously. Don't tell her
it is the most beautiful creation you
have ever seen, but one of the most
beautiful.
When your wife's relatives come to
spend a week or two with you, try to
make things pleasant for them. Let
the furnace go out and forget to order
the meat and groceries.
Whistle merrily when you come up
the front steps late at night and make
all the noise you can getting into the
house. That will show her that you
have no reason to conceal anything and
that your conscience is perfectly clear
whether 1t is or not.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1913-03-21
According to Uncle Abner.

Mrs. Anse Frisby has got new
vacuum cleaner and her husband says
he thinks she must try it on his
clothes while he is asleep, for he
never has a cent when he wakes up.
Jed Fink's wife nearly shot him by
mistake for a burglar the other night
when he went home with his whisk-
ers shaved off and tried to get in at
the back door without being heard.
There never was a time in the his
tory of the world when some Teller
didn't think he was on the verge of
making a fortune through the medi-
UNI of a perpetual motion machine.
Hank Tumms says the nearest thing
to it that he knows of is his wife's
brothers lower jaw. His wife'S
brother has been eating with him for
19 years.
Grandpa Bibbins says of course it
is a great thing to be in good spirits,
but he would a blamed sight rather
have the good spirits in him.
1t seems as though an accountant
ought to be good man to select can
didates for the musical comedy Choir
uses. being an expert on figures.
We see by the papers that fOotpads
are getting quite numerous down to
New York. Uncle Ezra HarkinS asked
what they was and Hank Tumms said
footpads was pads that fe1lers put on
their feet so they could sneak in the
house at night without wakin' up their
wife. Uncle Ezra is going to send
down for pair.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03
GOULD TO DEFEND HIS TITLE.
-
Court Tennis Play Next Week Will
Decide Challenger.

BOSTON, April 3.-Jay Gould. the title
holder, again will meet the winner of the
national court tennis championship tour
nament at the Tennis and Racquet Club
next week. Charles L. Sands of New
York. champion in 1904, and Joshua
Crane. another former champion, have
entered. The drawings are as follows:
Monday-George w. Wightman. Boston
Athletic Association, VS.. r. Gambriel,
Randolph Courts. Cambridge: +. Cutting,
Randolph Courts, VS.. G. II. Brooks, Phil
adelphia; C. E. Sands, New York. VS.. c.
T. Russell. Tennis and Racquet Club; l..
Stockton. Tennis and Racquet Club. vs.
w. H. T. HUM, Philadelphia: w. Potter.
Randolph Courts, VS.. d. p. Rhodes. Bos-
ton Athletic Association; j. McC. Sargent,
Tennis and Racquet l-ub, Us. Frothing-
ham. Randolph Courts.
=. Tuesday-Dr. G. Derby, Tennis and
Racquet Club. VS.. winner of the Wight
Man-Gambriei match: j. Crane. Tennis
and Racquet Club, VS.. winner of the
rgent-Frothingham match
.Eaturday--W Winner of tourney plays Jay
Gould in challenge match
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03
MISS WAGNER IN FINALS.
Wins Place in Last Round of Won
ems Indoor Championship,

NEW YORK, April 3.-Miss Marie wag.
ner, the national champion. who is play
ing through. and Mrs. c. y. Beard yes
terday won their places i'm the final round
Of the women's indoor national lawn ten
mis- championship tournament. Miss Wag-
ner defeated Miss Erna Marcus, 81. 81.
while Mrs. Beard defeated Mrs s F.
Weaver, &c. TO. Miss Wagner placed
her long drives splendidly, with plenty
of pace, clearly outplaying Miss Marcus
in the last set. Mrs Beard experienced
difficulty with the tricky net play of Mrs.
Weaver. and the score was close
. The semi final match in the champion
ship doubles resulted I'm victory for
Miss Wagner and Miss Clara Kuttrofr.
the latter of the West Side Club, New
York. The pair defeated Miss Z. c. Bunce.
partner in the holding of the doubles
titles, and Mrs. Beard. The score was
6-1, 40. 6-3. In the second set Miss
Bunce and Mrs. Beard made concerted
attack against Miss Kuttroff. and SO car
rfed the set Miss Wagner came strongly
into the third set. however, snatchinS
triumph from defeat.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03

pathy with all the rulings of that body.
little else can be done but submit and
yield to its government until better
one is secured 1t would appear that
had dignified appeal been made to the
main body of the Amateur Athletic
Union, stating the dissatisfaction exist
ing with the present situation and ask
ing the privilege of forming another
body, to be confined to the District OF
Columbia and possibly the territory south
fort made to further such a project. But
instead of doing that the local clubs
formed a federation.
That federation could not control track
athletics. and the result is that men are
being kept out of open competition.
Just what will be the outcome of the
wrangle is questionable, but it is certain
that the Amateur Athletic Union is going
to control open track competition in this
section, and the sooner it is realized the
better.
The cry has been raised to the effect
that the A. A. y. has not given every
body here square deal. 1t may be that
some of the local clubs have reason to
believe that, but then the question arises:
Would that condition be bettered If the
track situation were really controlled by
the federation? Would there not be the
same arguments and the same kind of
wrangling? To substantiate this, it will
be remembered that, the Aloysius Club
made open charges that the City Basket
Ball League was being run under condi-
tons that were not fair to all and threat
ened to withdraw as a consequence. In
the only track games that have been held
under the federation sanction the same
contention was raised.
The day after the meet letter was
received at this Office which purported
to come from representative Of one of
the clubs taking part in the meet. to the
effect that that club had been done" out
Of the point trophy. So by those things
it would not appear that the handling of
affairs Of the federation will stop the
needless wrangles. 1t would seem that
the best way to secure local administra-
ton of athletic affairs is to present a pc
tition to the main body Of the A. A. U.
stating the conditions and asking for the
right to form q new organization. Such
an appeal, IL made in a dignif1ed manner
and If backed by responsible people,
would be certain to accomplish more than
any other method.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03
c. j. EXPECTS TO
BEAT ACC|ES TODAY
Blue and Gray Nine improving
With Every Game.
FiienIe to Pitch.

Coach Harley of the Georgetown base
ball team firmly believes that his club
will be able to win from the Maryland
Aggies this afternoon, despite the fact
that the Maryland team has been show
ing good form this year. The fact that
the Navy team was defeated by the
Aggies, to . and that Georgetown was
trounced by the Navy shows the rela-
tive strength Of the two teams George
town last Saturday was clearly outclassed
by the Navy team and it is safe to say
that the game this afternoon will be
one well worth witnessing. In Hoffecker
and Loomis. the Aggies have two re-
markably good twirlers and their Pitch
ing is sure to cause the Blue and Gray
batters considerable trouble
1t is the opinion of the Georgetown
coach that his team will show to better
advantage during the rest of the year.
There is no denying the fact that the
Blue and Gray have capable men on
hand, but late start prevented them
from making better showing.
Coach Harley was forced to place
team on the field for the opening game
with no practice. and was unable to get
a good line on the men until they had
been tried in a few games. The new idea
Of playing the Prep school nine during
the early part of the week has worked
wonders with the team. In the game
yesterday the men actually showed more
ginger than at any other time this year.
The life in the team that has been lack
ing all year was shown in the contest
against Johns Hopkins, and Coach Harley
was delighted.
Chris Fienle will most likely pitch to-
day. In the practice during the early
part of the week Fienle displayed fine
form. This crack pitcher has been I'M
able to get going during the early sea-
son workout. and for this reason he has
been kept from doing the work which
made him famous last year. Today the
i. zach will give him plenty Of opportunity
to get away with the game. If the coach
finds that the big twirler is lacking in ef-
fectiveness he will most likely send
Lynch in, but it is the plan of the coach
now to save Lynch for the game against
Cornell Saturday.
1t is practically certain that Tom DAILY,
the crack second-sacker who played this
position in the games during the early
part Of the season, will ot-play again.
DAILY was mentioned for the captaincy
of the team next year. because of his
brilliant headwork. He is a man who
plays the game without saying a word.
and has the respect of every one on the
squad.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03
take the injured Hauser's place at short
stop in the coming city series in ST. Louis

take the injured Hauser's place at short
stop in the coming city series in ST. Louis.
'Hughey Jennings announces that he
probably will carry every one of his re-
cruitt pitchers into the regular season and
give all of them at least one chance in
a game that counts.
Mike Mowrey is carrying his years un-
usually well and has forced Miller Hug
gins to admit that he Is the best third
base candidate of the Cardinals for one
more year at least.
Artie Holman as hbeen revived. ac-
cording to Pittsburgh scribes. They
tout the veteran to be one of the best
outfielders in the league this year.
Germany SchalIer is the first come
dian the Detroit Tigers have possessed
since Germany Schaefer departed; that
is. unless Hughey Jennings is rated as
one of the funny men.
The Browns claim the red haired
championship of the big leagues for
Red Roche. young infielder. He even
has II on Red Murray. In their opinion.
Hughey Jennings is holding long
daily consultations with his players.
The sessions are in the morning. He
intends to keep them going all through
the season.
Jane Stdnl 1DtlHldteS tndt ne Will
continue to carry all four of the Red
Sox catchers-Carrigan, Cady, Nuna-
maker and Thomas.
One young Tiger pitcher who is
showing lots of steam is Zamloch, who
is almost certain to be retained IL he
betters his control little.
Some of the Pirates have urged Fred
Clarke to do a little pinch hitting
against the Red Sox but he has refused
! steadfastly. saying he is through for
ever as q player
Tommy Leach is much peeved over a
story that he is to jump the Cubs and
manage the st. Louis team of the new
Federal League. He says Barney Drey
fGss inspired the yarn.
Carey, Hoffman and Wilson in the OUT
field and Miller Butler, Wagner and
Byrne in the fn1e.d are expected to form
the regular lineup Of the Pirates.
Jean Dubuc is back i'm the condition
that enabled him to be the Tigers most
successful pitcher last year. Jennings
predicts a great season for the French
man.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1913-04-03
FAIRBANKS REGA|NS
HIS WINNING FORM
Denver Golfer Advances Into
Second Round Through
Sterling Play.

PINEHURST, April 3.-Walter Fair
banks, the Denver Country Club veteran,
figured as the star of yesterdays play in
the first round of the thirteenth annual
united north and south amateur golf
championship with his victory over Har-
old Weber of the Inverness Club, To-
ledo. A winning three on the fifteenth
and halves on the last three holes decided
this match. Weber took IS to Il for Fair
banks.
Harold J. Topping of Greenwich beat
Chisholm Beach Of Fox Hills, and c. L.
Becker of Woodland won from Henry C.
Fownes Of Oakmont by . and 1 margins,
and Erman ]. Ridgway of Montclair won
by up from J. D. Foot of Apawamis.
Dr. c.. H.. Gardner. the Rhode Island
champion, woA and in his match with
]. NJ. Thompson Of Spring Haven. Wal.
ter j. Travis, Hamilton K. Kerr and Rob-
ert Hunter, remaining survivors in the
championship division. advanced on easy
matches. which ended on the tenth and
fifteenth green's.
Play was brisk in the second division,
where four matches were decided on the
eighteenth green. In the third set w. M.
Ramsey lost to j. L. Wyckoff on the
twentieth green. Ramsey WASH down or
the twelfth and won five straight holes.
The summary:
Championship trophy--First round-waIter ].
M ssS s and !; Il K. Kerr, E hMsnee
beat =. y, o.Coane IL. AiPine and 3: g I.
mont mont aud j: walter Faireanis spenser. beat
asroid weber lns Ssst rsc,n DR. , II
aa.sn Beach Fox aas hoSeat
int Wee Edss esst t. as"s ssat Bstf
Foot Apawamis. up.