The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1913-09-11

II did not take him nve minutes 20 md
q couple OF tramps who were sloshing
about between the house and the cor
ner. When be explained what be
wanted and bis willingness to pay
they both cheerfully accompanied him.
As they stood with their backs TO the
range In the kitchen aud hungrily eyed
the remains Of dinner be took their
temperature and pronounced It normal.
and then escorted them TO the back
yard. There were snow banks against
the fence. and be selected positions
and sat them down. Ii was a keen.
cold night. one made to order for such
an experiment
"Now. then" said Mr.. Bowser as all
was ready. Il take II that you feel
coldr
We dor replied the men In chorus
through their chattering teeth.
That "a splendid. estimate that
there Is a difference of at least 40 de-
grees between your temperature and
that of the weather. You will now
each Of you take lozenge In your
mouth and let 1t slowly dissolve. In
two minutes your blood ought to be
the same temperature as the weather.
In Eve you ought to imagine that rob-
ins are singing and daisies blooming
around you"
The Experiment.
As Mr.. Bowser wasn't experiment
ing on himself, he discreetly retired to
the warm atmosphere of the kitchen
and took his stand at window. he
had scarcely begun bis observations
when one Of the tramps rolled over
and began to kick like horse tangled
up In bis harness. while the other
sprang to his feet and spat and splut.
tered and coughed and crammed bis
mouth full Of snow.
''What are you fellows up tor shout
ed Mr.. Bowser. as be rushed out.
They gave him no heed. They SEEM
ed to be acrobats let loose. and they
went through more antics than as II
they had picked up dozen hot horse
shoes II was Eve minutes before
either Of them could speak. and then
one cooled bis mouth with an icicle
hanging to the clothesline and slut
tered:
"B-b. boss. what s-ssort of g-g-game
is this2"
"Yes. what sort Of g-g-gameT add.
ed the other as a SNOWFALL melted in
his mouth
Its no game at all. It's an ex-
pertinent as | told you. What have
you done with those lozengesT
"S-s-spit 'em out. durn yer
"Yes: s-s-spit 'em outp'
"But you mustn't do It These are
to raise the temperature of your blood
until 1t equals the temperature of the
atmosphere. II you'd kept on sucking
the lozenges you'd have been persplr.
Ing by this time Sit down and try
1t again"
Bowser Is Bested.
"Bill," said the first as he continued
to eat snow and draw In long breaths
of the frosty air. does 1t look like
cold blooded attempt to burn up the
vitals of two respectable gents?"
"It do, Sam. 1t dor
sand by burnin' up our vitals take
away our appetitesT'
That's the gamer
"If I was playing any game would
promise you quarter apieceY' asked
Mr.. Bowser.
'lt's my solemn opinyun that ye
wouldT
That's our solemn opinyunr'
Mr., Bowser was about to protest and
Increase his cash offers when the two
gentlemen with burned vitals fell upon
him. The three went down together,
and Mrs Bowser, looking from back
window. and the cook and cat. looking
from back door, could see nothing for
the next two minutes for the cloud of
snow In the air. Then the two tramps
detached themselves from the circus
and climbed the yard fence. and the
household went out to look for Mr.
Bowser. There were thousands OF
traces Of him at hand. but 1t took
three minutes to discover his actual
presence and dig 1t out from under
the snow. He had been thumped and
kicked and choked, but life had moi
departed. He soon rallied and sat up
and after being helped to his feet ht
made his woozy way to the kitcher
and thence upstairs He did not ash
what had happened, and Mrs. Bowsel
gave him rest of fifteen minutes OF
the lounge before she said:
81 suppose the government ought t
be notified at once, and II you dom
feel well can do 1t myself"
An ugly glare, followed by griffin,
Of his teeth, and 1t was ten minute
before she observed:
'I've told the cook to heat SOM
witch hazel to wash off the blood. D,
you wish for any temperature?"
But Mr.. Bowser had grow weary o
north pole weather and fallen asleep.
ftfi.i'..-i.'ss-t-i-s..i-i-s.-s-l-t-f.l.t-E-t-t-t
II Right With Us.