Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-04-17
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

Plum trees are now in full bloom,
and soon the plums will be falling
in Washington.
A willowy girl is a skinny girl who
is pretty. A skinny girl is a skinny
girl who is not pretty.
When you look at some women you
can appreciate the nautical expression
Fore and AT"
A fellow over at Extra CANDLES with
his wife so in case he loses, the money
win be kept in the family.
Many man saves money by not us
ing tobacco but it is doubtful if the
money has the same soothing effect.
Did it ever occurr to you that a
colored girl worries as much over
hole in her black stockings as white
girl2
What has become of the old fashioned
man whose idea of high living was
Cove oysters? He lives in Manning so
they say.
Can you remember how you looked
forward to your future 20 years agoH
Well, this is your future. What are
you doing with itH ...
A Kansas man killed the editor in
his town and then committed suicide.
Another case wherein a man couldn't
live without his home paper.
An Audubon young fellow has made
up his mind to marry certain girl in
spite of all obstacles, and says he would
rather be consistent than happy.
An Audubon society lady is doing
everything in her power to avoid work
in order that she may retain her youth
and beauty that she will not look older
than her husband.
A fellow from Manning tells how
nervous headaches can be cured with
an empty bottle. Why not use an
empty bottle the night before and avoid
getting the headache.
A certain Audubon young man who
was recently married was seen run
ing the washing machine for his wife
the other morning. Surely, the way
of the transgressor is hard.
ri Il Audubon girl who wears dia-
the couIsbout the size of pin point on
man fell ii- always forgets to wear her
ciareo ms ION she comes down town or
sances, she picture show.
her parenttor Of ore of our neighboring
hn Patsfs 4 Af1ussf Bur rAAAtvesAthat
society be formed in his town for the
suppression of vice, lice, ice and dice.
From where we sit it looks as if the is
have it.
A New York physician has assured
the world that dying is a delicious
sensation" We notice Audubon people
as well as others are putting off the en-
joyment of it until the very last
minute.
Mary O'Brien, a Montana widow,
owns 10000 sheep. When we con-
slider the fact that Mary had only.
little lamb to begin with, it must be
acknowledged that she has done re-
markably we'll
If girl bows as if her head were in
the clouds and she isn't quite sure she
knows how anyway, that is the latest. |
1t is the Gibson bow, and was brought
to Audubon by girl who is unfortu-
nately too old to be spanked.
One of our Extra subscribers re-
marked while talking to us at the Rock
Island depot that married women
would spend more time away from
home if their husbands would give
them something to spend"
At recent entertainment in Audu- |
bon, girl dressed her hair with ban |
Va OAHth fCifCby luICC DlHh TOStS, u |
white feather, and three side combs. |
For heavens sake isn't there a law put
ting limit on the number of glad |
things girl can wear in her hair?
& Two Audubon young men are flashing |
diamonds, which if taken for their pre-
tended worth. might arouse the suspi. |
cion of detectives and cause their arrest
for participation in some of the recent
large diamond roberies. Better be
careful boys Detective Burns is on the
lookout for all suspicious looking
characters.
One day last week woman called
this Office up over the phone and asked
as to have pork roost sent to her
house. While the Republican has
number of hogs on the subscription
list. and they need roasting all right,
there is state law against killing
them, and we couldn't do anything for
her and advised her to call up the meat
market.
One of Audubon's popular young
ladies played a cruel joke on her
mother on one of those rainy days last
week. She accidently found love
letter that her father had written to
her mother in their halcyon days of
courtship She read the letter to her
mother substituting her own name and
that of her lover. The mother ravedi
anger and stamped her foot ipt
'prbidding her daughter td
ng to do with a man WHO
IN nonsensical stuff to a
zen gave the letter to
n and the home sud
uiet that she could
falling in the back
IN. ,Ay