The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1913-04-13
ff05 HULL STREET.

president WILSON,, announced one
member of the flabbergasted group,
second later. says take the ship TO
sea again and scuttle her"
/ Heaven help the poor officeseekers
! on such night as this" moaned
"O1d Bill Bryan" as the skit came
I to an end.
/ The guests had hardly finished
laughing at this when one of the mem
/ bers of the club started up n song a
parody on Row. Row. Row." and
I having particular reference to the
cool reception that officeseekers had
got at the White House, and the turn
/ ing Of them over to cabinet officers.
Ii Looks Like Snow.
The chorus ran like this;
TIT looks like snow. snow, snow,
I II think the weather,
/ Looks like snow. snow. snow.
Tets ret together
If an Office YOU pursue.
"Y on must play peek-a-hoo. with
HurIeson or Daniels. Garrison or
b. ... Mc4Adon>.
/ TT looks like snow. snow. snow.
"If Bryan fails You.
! tIf Reynolds or Wilson say no,
"You can come back again.
AT Redfield. Houston, or Lane
but not at Wood row. row.
Ghosts ,HarLen 10 Bell
/ The story OF The Chimes Of Nor
mandy. an old chateau haunted by
/ ghosts, and with Il bell that would not
4 ring until the rightful heir returned,
was a musical feature Of the evening.
/ Among the ghosts that glided in un-
der q green spotlight, and swathed in
gauze. were the Policies OF past ad-
min!strations. There was the ghost or
af "a Hf
/ Diplomacy, distinguished by three gilt
balls and iamenting that he now felt
I like 80 cents; the ghost OF Monopoly.
I bearing globe. representing the
earth. and prophesying he always
would he hanging round, and the
ghost OF Imperialism decorated with
81 crown and sceptre.
One song told the story Of the in
dependence bell, and how its tones
had grown silent as men had taken
more and more 20 chasing dollars.
Then II ran like this:
! Nv think we've found the man to
ring that bell.
Woodrow Wilson. you're the man
I 10 ring that bell"
Owns Both Stands.
/ About this time one OF the members
/ of the club. portly and prosperous, en-
( tered with n pushcart laden with
wares. This member was tagged THE
+ Interests and his cart bore placard
with the words Republican fruit
/ stand" Presently Miss Democracy en-
tered with another fruit stand, and in
/ the crowd which followed was a man
I who looked like Roosevelt. and who
/ loudly denounced the Republican fruit
| peddler aa a liar. a thief and
crook" He appealed TO the crowd 10
! q As q II "a
entity Miss Democracy left with an
| empty cart. and purse full of money.
During all this time The Interests''
sat unconcerned.
/ why aren't you excitedf" asked
+ one member. The other stand has
sold everything. ard you nothing. You
can't live that way"
"Oh, that's all right" said The
Interests, lighting big cigar. II own
both stands"
At every plate was found a mtnia
/ ture souvenir. consisting OF an APP
j plicauon for n fouth-class postrnas
! tership. Some OF the questions in this
| application blank were:
| Where were You made a Demo-
crat?''
Were you Democrat prior to
March 4. 19i3?''
/ ed ours~asr did somebody else get the
Office away from you? Avoid refer
/ ence TO politics and for heavens sake
say nothing about being progressive"
Name the presidents OF Mexico in
their order"
| There was an affidavit attached to
/ each application blank in which the
applicant swore to use the rural free
/ delivery wagons to bring Democrats
{ . N-Ny "a En- nil n
cent OF the postoffice receipts TO the
! Democratic campaign fund.
Cabinet Interviewed.
/ Two new members of the club, Rob
/ ert II Patchin, of the New York Her
aid and Thomas r. Logan, OF the
I Philadelphia Inquirer, were initiated,
| They were assigned to the task of in
/ terviewing the cabinent officers, Sec
I rotary Tumulty and others, as means
/ of demonstrating their qualifications.
! Secretary Tumulty' was asked to
/ explain why the president went to ii
/ different church every Sunday.
Its part OF the administration econ
/ omy program" was the alleged re-
/ ply.
| Postmaster General Burleson" sas
| reported as vowing that he would en-
( force civil service reform IL il cost
\ him every Republican postmaster in
/ the country.
Secretary of Agriculture Houston"
/ expressed his fitness for presiding over
/ the department by asserting that as a
| professor of ancient languages he
/ could call all; the vegetables by their
4 Latin names.
!
Broke Show Case.
4 w. q. Mckinney, twenty-five years
I old, fell into and broke Il show case
/ In front of 1906 East Main street last
night and badly cut his hand. He
was arrested by Policeman Dugan on
charge of being drunk and dis
orderly, and was sent To the First sta
ton, where his wound was dressed by