davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Kissed Cousin; Husband
NEW YORK.-Title-"Wh George
IN Kisses His Cousin"

NEW YORK.-Title-"Wh George
~ Kisses His Cousin"
Place-West Side Police Court.
Skitters in the Skit-George Alex.
Jus. conductor OF an Eighth avenue
surface car. Mrs. Albert Waskum,
cousin of George. Mr.. Albert Was
kum, indignant husband. Abraham
Jacosvisky, the innocent bysitter."
Magistrate, court attendants. police
men, lawyers. rowdies and newspaper
men,
Mrs. Waskum-We got on the car
at Eighth avenue and Thirty-seyenth
street to go to our apartment In Cen
trail Park West.
Her Lawyer-Was the car crowd
ed?
A. Yes.
@. When did you first realize that
the conductor was your cousin?
A. Not until he kissed me.
@. When had you previously seen
him?
A. Three years before. at our home
In Kansas.
@. When he kissed you what hap
pened?
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

travel clean. see? Me and me spar
ring pardner Just come out O. that
swell boardin' factory there. get it?
! says to bell-hop. l says. we got to
unwrap this package of SCOT So he
leads US to the Mushroom. we strips
down to the belt and goes through
the motions just like them guys that's
playin' four bucks day for a brass
bed and a hunting scene on the wall.
See this here hair cut?" continued
the lecturer. He exhibited a nicely
trimmed dome. correctly moulded
about the ears. I'VE gets that in the
free chairs in the College for BARRIERS
in Cleveland.
Before the reporter was led out Of
his third paroxysm he was gently told
that he had delivered up II cents, his
police badge. and two theater passes.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

CINCINNATI. O.-Jasper Johnson of
- Slate Greek, Tenn, brought load
of peaches to town the other day. The
Saturday afternoon trade netted him
Just $51 for the fruit He bought his
wife new calico gown and the kids
some shoes and decided to spend Sun
sday in the city. He knows better now.
With the air Of a man who is de-
termined to see all that is to be seen
and to understand it well. he stood
On the opposite side Of the street and
gazed at the 34-story skyscraper of
an insurance company. While Jasper
was thinking how 1t stood all over
J the court house down home, a neatly
dressed stranger slipped up quietly
beside him and began to laud the new
building.
Geo." he ruminated. ITS tough to
own half OF that swell building and
have to sell It for a song Just be-
cause have to 90 to Philadelphia and
will have to hike 1t II l don't get
some money somewhere"
1t was q downhearted tale Of q
busted nnancier that Jasper heard.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Constipation Needn't
Worry old People

OIIy Olu IeOple
Hot Springs, Arkansas, Furnishes Ho,
Springs Liver Buttons, a Remedy
that has Proved a Boon to all who
are Bothered with Sluggish Liver
and Inactive Bowels.
Great discoveries are expected
from the worlds greatest sanitarium.
which always has attracted the fore
most medical minds of the country
But in offering through the retail
druggists of the country the newest
formula for constipation, Hot Springs,
Arkansas, has outdone all previous
efforts.
Don't take chances any longer with
calomel or harsh, violent cathartics
of any kind.
II your liver bothers you or you
have constipation the best remedy
you can take is HOT SPRINGS LIVER
BUTTONS. Take one tonight; you'll
know tomorrow that at last you've
found a perfect, blissful laxative.
Take one every night If you want to
drive away that blue feeling, Danish
pimples and sallow skin and be free
from bad breath, coated tongue and
headache. rs cents everywhere.
For sample write Hot Springs
Chemical Co.. Hot Springs. Ark.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Gay's "CIean Face" Prize Winner BacksIides

cago Judge recently remarked apropos
OF dirty faces on growing boys. dirt
casts no reflection" Another reason
Is that the necktie is no longer red.
Since school let out Andy has gone
from bad to worse. With the depart
ure OF Miss Knaggs he erased the
word soap from his vocabulary and
he remembers water only In connec-
ton with thirst.
When asked what he was going to
do when his teacher got back. Andy
grinned through the CRIME and dis
played a nickel proudly stored away
in the only pocket without holes in
his clothes.
I'm savin' that til the day before
school starts" he said. Then I'm
goin' ter buy cake O SOAP"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

maintenance of the high standard Of
excellence for which Calumet Baking
Powder Is famed.
The Calumet Baking Powder Com.
pany was organized a quarter Of q
century ago by Mr.. VIM. NJ Wright.
The company first began the manu-
facture Of baking powder in a com.
paratively small way, with limited
capital. Modern methods, combined
with high grade materials and an I'm.
wavering determination to produce
an article Of superior quality have
created a demand which necessitated
the erection of the new Calumet plant
have made the Calumet Company q
substantial factor in the industrial
life of Chicago, and won for it a pat
ronage which Is benefit and cred.
it to the city.-Adv.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

The Slate Creek peach grower did a
rapid-hre calculation and then timo-
rously offered to take the strangers
share Of the building of his hands
for $39-the total of his roll.
The stranger hesitated to take ad.
vantage Of his new-found friend. not
that the building was not worth a
thousand times a. much. he said, but
he didn't like to impose on good ma
ture. Jasper told him not to worry
about that end Of the bargain. Then
the neatly dressed one reluctantly
made out Z deed" for one-half Of
the skyscraper. handed 1t to Jasper.
took the money and made himself
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
LIGHT BREAKS IN
Thoughtful Farmer Learns About
Coffee.

Many people exist in a more or less
hazy condition and it often takes years
before they realize that tea and cot.
fee are often the cause OF the cloudi-
ness, and that there is a simple way
to let the light break in.
A worthy farmer had such an exper-
ience and tells about it, in letter. He
says:
For about forty years. I have had
Indigestion and stomach trouble in
various forms. During the last rs
years would not more than get over
one spell of bilious collie until another
would be upon me.
THE best doctors l could get and
all the medicines l could buy. only
gave me temporary relief.
Change of climate was tried with
out results. I could not sleep nights,
had rheumatism and my heart would
palpitate at times SO that it seemed
1t would jump out Of my body.
Il came to the conclusion that there
was no relief for me and that l was
about wound up, when saw a Postum
advertisement. l had always been a
coffee drinker, and got an idea from
SAO az. Suot OC COAC0 Wdo LILO
cause Of my trouble.
Il began to use Postum instead of
coffee and in less than three weeks
felt like a new man. The rheumatism
lett me, and l have never had a spell
OF bilious collie since.
MY appetite Is good, my digestion
never was better and l can do more
work than before for 40 years.
Il haven't tasted coffee since I be-
gan with Postum. My wife makes it
according. to directions and relish it
as well as l ever did coffee, and / was
certainly a slave to coffee"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich. Write for copy Of the lit
tie book, "The Road to Wellville."
Postum comes in two forms:
Regular Pestum-must be well boiled.
Instant Postum is q soluble powder.
A teaspoonful dissolves quickly in q
cup OF hot water and, with the addf-
ton OF cream and sugar, makes . de-
licious beverage instantly.
There's reason" for Postum.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Hits Innocent "Bysitter"

A. Things happened SO fast l can
scarcely describe them. Mr.. Waskum,
sitting next to me, suddenly turned
and saw the conductor kissing me.
@. What did he do?
A. He rose from his seat. drew back
his fist and struck.
Q. Did he hit your cousin?
A. No. George saw him draw back.
and when the blow came he lodged.
1t got Mr. Visky there on the eye with
the mourning band around 1t.
Mrs. Waskum-You see, Albert
didn't know George and George didn't
know Albert. He hadn't seen us get
on together, and, not knowing Albert
was my husband. George struck back
at him.
@. Did he hit him?
A. No. Mr.. Visky. having been hit
once, naturally got up. He stood up
in time to get Georges blow there on
the other eye with the mourning band
around it.
fight. Reminded me OF a suffrage
election in Kansas. Women stood up
and screamed, and l tried to sepa-
rate George and Albert. so l could
properly introduce them.
Mr.. Jacosvisky-I'm the complain
ant. Look at my eyes. had 'em
arrested while they was getting In.
was the innocent BY
sitter. l get all the blows.
Mr.. Waskum-We apologized to
him after 1t was all over.
The Magistrate-Case dismissed:
next.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

projecting over to a switch track on
level with the second floor.
Automatic machinery, modern ap-
pliances and passenger and freight
elevators of the latest type will be
installed and employed in manufac-
turing and handling the company's
product
Plans which make possible a maxi
mum amount Of glass area and the
highest degree of sanitation have
been carefully and scientifically pre-
pared Spacious and splendidly ap-
pointed rest rooms are provided for
employees.
One entire floor will be devoted to
laboratory and research equipment.
The installation Of modern bakery
for experiment purposes insures the
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Who Does the Washing?

Who Does the Washing?
Precocious Child Ito Friend)-I
notice a clothes basket going back
and forth between your house and
Scrubbins' every day"
What of it,"
do you wash for them or do they
wash for you?"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

HICAGO.-The flaming red neck
- tie which used to cast a crimson
reflection on the much scrubbed chin
OF Andy Hatrack. the Gary schoolboy
VINO won the cleanliness champion.
snip OF HIS town. no longer casts
roseate glow on the Hatrack chin.
One reason for this Ia that. as a Chi
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Somewhat Previous.

Somewhat Previous.
What sort of people are the Twob-
bles?"
when invited for a weekend visit
they show up bright and early Tues
day morning."
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Profitable Meetinm

Did you have profitable discus
sion at the literary club today?"
"Oh, very. Mrs. Wombat got conf
Dental and told why her sister left
her husband"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

More matches are used in the
United Kingdom than in any other
country In the world.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

Some people are almost as stuck up
as though they had been tarred and
feathered.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
Not Able to Be Picked,

What does impeccability' mean!~
asked the teacher in an eighth grade
school,
Not able to be pecked," was the
prompt reply from the bright pupil.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

Mr.. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Childre
teething, softens the gums, reduces inf1amma
aon,allays pain cures wind collie &c bottle.Aa
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

On an averagNJno fewer than 200
people are killed by lightning every
year.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

To cool burns use Hanford's Balsam
Adv.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25

And she who loves and runs ava,
may have q fit Of regret later.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1913-10-25
DARK Secret.

did Clara really have light hair?
And did she dye it dark brown?"
That's not fair question"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
PEACE TERMS WILL
NOT Be ACCEPTED
No Prospect of Turkey
Agreeing to Peace Terms
Proposed by Allies

London, March 16--There is no pros
pect of the acceptance by Turkey OF
the peace terms as proposed by the al
lies. Dispatches from Constantinope
tonight say that the leading members
of the committee of union and pro-
gress have decided that the conditions
could not be accepted and it is un-
derstood that the council Of ministers
has adopted the same view.
At other capitals and among the
ambassadors in London, the allies de-
mands are considered extravagant, es-
pecially with regard to tho payment of
Indemnity and the cession of Scutari
and the Aegean Islands.
In the meantime the agitation
against Bulgaria continues in Greece.
The Greeks in Thrace and eastern
Macedonia have sent a petition to
Athens against their incorporation by
Bulgaria. Premier Venizelos, in reply,
Iofdly declared that he long ago had
notified the allies that Greece laid no
claim to Thrace.
dispatch from Belgrade says that
anti Bulgarian articles are becoming
common in the Servian newspapers,
while the Greek and Servian cabinets
are becoming very intimate and it is
reported that they have already con-
c1uded a defensive treaty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
AFTER MANY YEARS
in PUBLIC SERVICE
CANNON DEPARTS
"Uncle Joe' and Two Big Ce-
dar Boxes Leave Together
for Danville, ILL.,, Ex-
Speakers Home

Washington. March 16.-Joseph Gurney
today after nearly 10 years of public SER
vice. Unattended, the erstwhile ''czar of
the House." picked up his gripsack and
started for Danville, yermillion county,
Ill.
"Uncle joe and two big cedar boxes
left together. The boxes contained the
private letters and documents of long
toms political turmoil. 1t took weeks to
sort them out from the accumulation o'
the former speakers letter files.
"Well, I'm through signed Uncle
Joe," as he Strengthened up after closing
the last box. shook the dust from his
hands and rumpled his scanty gray hair.
i've had devil of a job getting rid of
stuff. must have had thousands Of
newspaper clippings and cartoons, be-
sides my letters and papers. They were
all worth keeping when ] gathered them
and l had hard time wedding them
out Most Of them were clever, but
scarcely of complimentary nature" and
"Uncle Joe's. keen gray eyes twinkled
reminiscently.
''What are you going to do back home -
he was asked. He rubbed his head re-
fectively, hoisted himself to the edge of
the table. wrapping his long legs about
the back of a chair, and began:
''Weil. my business is in pretty good
shape I've got little bank stock and
that is pretty well organized. My farm
land is well handled guess III just
lcol around little bit. When was
young wanted to travel, but | was too
busy earning living. Now I don't care
much about ii. The folks are planning q
grand trip around the world China, In
dia, Japan, the Philippines and all tho
rest of it,
Uncle Joe stroxed his beard a moment
and then leaning forward confidentiali;'
remarked:
but I'm not going. ! may take lit
tie run through Mississippi and Arkansas.
where want to look over some land for
investment in the Yazoo and ST. Francis
country, but that will be about all the
travelling II, do.
Pm not tired l feel just as well as
ever did bat ! suppose that is because
I'm the old devil they say I am"
''Will you continue in politics.,
He pondered minute, then replied
.sWhen | lose interest in politics yo,i
can bet I'll be dead. will still be in
politics, as a private citizen''-then. as an
afterthought-''wit personal ambi-
tions.'
The former speaker thought he might
stop, off on his way. home to visit Rem
resentative Marlin Olmstead. one of his
old adherents in the House, at HARRIS
burg, Pa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
.s25O,0OO WORTH Of
JEWELS ARE TAKEN
FROM PAWN SHOP
The Thieves Gain Access to
Vaults by Means of a
Tunnel From Abutting
Building

New York. March 16--An East Side
burglary, perpetrated by clever cracks
men some time today netted the thieves
the largest haul obtained in New York
city in many years. Martin Simons &
Sons, pawn brokers in Hester street,
were the victims and the property stolen
included $2500o0 worth OF jewelry dia-
monds and other precious stones and $780,
900 worth of negotiable securities.
The thieves gained access to the pawn
brokers' richly stored vaults by means of
a tunnel from an abutting building on a
neighboring street. They made clean
getaway with their valuable loot
The police are of the opinion that six
cracksmen were employed on the job and
that the tunneling required all OF last
night and the greater part of Sunday
morning. 1t is their belief that the ac-
tual robbery took place this afternoon
while hundreds of persons were passing
along the street in front of the pawn shop
None of the tenants ip either the building
where the tunnel started or that in which
the pawn shop is located heard any un-
usual noises
A janitress peering through the window
of the shop late this afternoon noticed
the litter near the vault and gave the
alarm. The police found that the tunnel
was begun In the cellar of a house in Ell
bridge street. directly adjoining Simons
place. IT was driven through the wall of
the Edridge street house and into a wood
bin in the cellar of the Smons store.
There, leading up intothe pawn bro
ker's shop. Is a flight of stairs They are
wired for a burglar alarm, however. and
the thieves avoided them and sawed away
the overhead flooring at spot directly in
front of the treasure vault. The vault,
which stands IL feet high and is built into
the wall was entered by chappipg away
the masonry.
+ Simons & Sons have been in business In
Hester street for a number Of years.
The firm was liberally patronized In the
neighborhood because the interest
charged was below the legal rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17

stepped into his automobile at the
White House.
After church the President stopped
for short time at the corcoran gal
lery OF art and spent the afternoon
at home. Tonight the Wilson family,
was at the White House and there
were no guests. With the exception OF
TWO nights when the President attend
ed the theatre he has been at home
every evening. The cares of political
often deprived Mr.. Wilson Of the so-
ciety Of the family circle but there is
every indication that henceforth he will
spend most Of his evenings at home.
70 his close friends the President
has admitted that he finds more ease
and comfort in the White House than
he has had In many years. THE Presi-
dent has been doing little work on
the preparation Of his first MESA &c
TO Congress and has occasionally had
political caller. but for the most part
has disposed of his work during the
Gay and devoted the evening to the
family 1iteAde.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17

Mobile. March 16--Two hundred per-
sons are homeless tonight in Brew
ton unsheltered from the cold wave
which has Alabama in its grip. The
flood here. which reached its crest at
$3.50 o'clock Saturday night, has not
subsidized one life is known to have
been lost. that of negro woman.
Many are injured The town is in
darkness, for the rise of water put the
electric lighting plant out as we'll as
others. Business is paralyzed and the
struggle at present is for life. A spe
eial dispatch to the Register says that
the floods are not expected TO recede
perceptibly before Wednesday. Life
exists only upon the hills Damage al
Brewton Is estimated at 100000.
Boats and RATS are being used to
rescue the stricken. Houses are swept
clean and household goods float in the
waters.
According to a travelling salesman
who made his way by boat from Castle-
bury to Brewton. the town which he
left is in a condition as pltiable as that
of Brewton.
There have been no trains from
Brewton since Friday and with SO
bridges and trestles carried away and
1900 feet of track washed out there
is little prospect of train service be-
fore Tuesday or Wednesday.
Through business is being handled
by the Louisville and Nashville railroad
via Mobile and Ohio to Meridian, Miss,
Southern railway to Selma, and West
ern of Alabama from Selma TO Mont
gomery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
PRESIDENT AND FAMILY
AGAIN WORSHIP QUIETLY

Washington. March 16.-President
Wilson again escaped the stares of the
curious and worshipped inconspicu-
ously today at the First Presbyterian
church.
With dozen or more Presbyterian
churches located within easy reach of
the White House the President has
kept Washington folk guessing each
sunday as to the one he would select.
There is friendly rivalry among
those who would have the President
worship at 4 particular church all the
time but II was apparent today that
the Presideht tfxill not make a final
selection II at all, until he has at
tended all the Presbyterian churches.
Secretary ezfTttte Bryan already
was in his H<.jfpjen the President,
Mrs. Wilson and>liss Jessie arrived
Few IN the churkd We're aware of the
presence Of the presidential party
as the President did not announce
where he would worship until he
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
MULRANEY GRANTED
RESPITE BY SULzER
Condemned Man Was To Be
ElectrOcuted Today for
Killing Saloonkeeper

New York. March 16-With his electro
cution set for an early hour tomorrow
for the murder of Patrick McBreen.
known as Paddy the Priest a saloon
keeper of this city. John Muraney re-
ceiyed the welcome news at Sing Sing
prison this afternoon that Governor Sui
ger in Albany had granted him re-
prieve of so days.
Governor Sulzer was moved to act by
personal appeal from the condemned
man, who said he was the victim of tn.
underworld's code of honor which con
demns "sduealer.' The convict asked
for an opportunity to produce new evil
dence which he declared would, prove his
Innocence The governor has instructed
District Attorney Whitman to investigate
his story
Almost simultaneously with the iss,,
ance of the reprieve Supreme Court JUS
tice Davis granted an order here stavin..
the execution until Mulraney's ATTORNEYS
have an opportunity TO present further
arguments for a new trial
The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-03-17
WILSON WILL GO SLOWLY IN
FILLING FEDERAL OFFICES


Washington, March l6.- Conferences De-
tween National Chairman " lillian Il. Nc
Combs and democratic leaders today
brought out the fact that the admins
tration intends to proceed slowly and
carefully in filling federal OFFICES through
out the country IL is expected, however.
tilat when the extra session Of Congress
begins ON April q there win be a long
listSof appointments ready for coniirma-
ton.
When the extra session opens POST
master General Burleson also expects TO
Rave ready his plan for dealing with the.
situation created when all fourth class
postmasters we're put into the classified
service.
Mr. Bufieson does not believe thst he
executive order through which the post
masters were placed on the civil service
list should be revoked but he insists that
those who were placed on the civil service