The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1913-02-04

tlOI4 kANC S "a
struck upon the only feasible one I
think.
After the performance let some one
ceme out on the stage and announce
that James Forbis will speak two
hours. The result, easily expiainable
by philosophical and psychological
reasons, will be as follows: The
mind Of the audience, elate1 ana in.
spired by the hope Of immediate de-
parture when confronted by such 4
terror-inspiring and dismal prospect.
will collapse with the fearful reaction
which will take place, n for q tima
they will remain In q kind OF coma
tose, farewell-vain-world conaitiou.
Now, as his is the time when the in
terest OF the evening Is at It's highest
pitch, let the melodisus strains Of the
orchestra steal forth as a committee
appointed by the managers Of law
yers, druggists. doctors. and re,
officers, go around and relieve the az
dience Of the price OF admission for
one. Where n person has 70
MONEY let it be made up from an
other, but on no account let the Who"
sum taken be more than the Just
arount at sua rates.
AS I said before. the characters in
the play are purely imaginary. n
therefore not to be confused with real
persons. But lest any one, feeling
some of the idiosyncracies and char
aCt0I1StlcS dpPIy 100 AOICiply 10 ms
own high moral and irreproachable
self, should allow his war-like and
combative spirits to arise. produce
the impression that I rarely miss NY
aim with a Colts fOrty-five, but Il
that does not have the effect OF quiet
ing the splenetic individual, and he
still thirsts for Bill SlaX's gore, just
inform him that if he comes out hero
he can't get any whiskey within two
days journey of my present abode.
and water will have to be his only
beverage while on the war-path.
This, l am sure will avert the bloody
and direful conflict.
Accept my lasting regards and pro-
LESSONS Of respect,
Ever yours.
BILL SLAN.
To DR.. W. p. Beall:
My Dear Doctor: I wish you q
haprv, &C, and all that sort OF thing.
a few little reproductions in the way
OF poetry &C., which. Of course, were
struck off in an idle moment. Some
OF the pictures are not good likeness
es, and SO I have pot labelled them.
which you may do as fast (as) you
discover whom they represent. "a
some of them resemble others more
than themselves, but the poems are
good without exception, and will
compare favorably with Baron
Al1red's latest On spring.
I have just come from a hunt, in
which I MORALLY wounded a wild dog.
and as my boots are full OF thorns Z
can't write any longer than his paper
will contain. for it's all I've got, be-
Al I'm too tired to write any more
for the reason that I AVE no news
to tell.
I sex by the Patriot that you are
Superintendent Of Public Health, and
cCS1v xyo,, {Anf II r,,@l $3.50 49,
as you may make like that will ever
be witnessed with interest and pleas
ure by me, &c, &c. Give my re-
CARDS to DR.. and Mrs. Hall. It would
be uncomplimentary to your powers
Of perception as we'll as superfluous
main, yours truly,
". s. PORTER.
Letter to Dr.. W. p. RealI.
LaSane County, Texas.
February 27. 1884.
My Dear Doctor: Your appreciated
epistle Of the 18th received. I was
very glad to hear from you. hope
to hear again If such irrelevant cor
respondence will not interfere with
your duties as Public Health Eradi-
Gator, which I believe Is the Office
you hold under county authority. I
supposed the very dramatic Shakes
perian comedy to be the last, as |
heard nothing from you previous be
fore our letter, and was about 10
write another OF a more exciting
character, introducing several BLOODY
single combats, a dynamite explosion,
a ladies' oyster supper for charitable
&c, also comprising some
, mysterious sub rosa transactions
known only to myself and a selec,
few. new a and dances and the
Greensboro Poker Club. Having pick-
ed up a few points myself relative ia
thls iatter amusement, I feel compe-
: tent to give a lucid. plitterinp nov.
trait Of the scenes presented under il.
2 auspices. But if h former drama
: mas reached you safely, l will refrain
. from burdening you any more viii
! iabors Of general stage manager
&c.
. II long hair. part of sombrero Mesi
I can spurs, &c, would make q clio
: famous, ! already occupy a topmos
) niche IN the Temple of Fame. +