Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1913-11-14
CHAPTER XXI.
The Hour of Reckoning.


Mark Robertson and his wife, left
alone, together, in the other end of
the great library, faced the situation
for which Grace had so long been pre-
pairing and for which her frightened
years of preparation had proved SO
useless.
Mark strove for speech. But for the
first time in his roughly aggressive ca
reer, suitable words were denied him.
Alternately he longed to tell her in
naked terms what she was and how
utterly he despised her. Again, a
gush Of self-pity urged him to reproach
her for the wrecking of his ideals, the
blasting of his happiness. Vanity
coming part way to his aid, he framed
and left unspoken-a curt sentence
of farewell And, in the end, all he
could say was:
why didn't you tell me?"
1t was not what he had intended to
say It was banal 1t expressed none
Of the stark moods that seethed in
him. Yet as she did not answer, he
found himself asking once more:
why didn't you tell me?"
And now, unknow n and unwished
for, there crept into his bald question
note that was almost of entreaty.
Tell your" she echoed. ooh, if you
knew how I've wanted to-"
"Then-"
81 didn't dare. I didn't dare"
Truth and honor surely"
Your love meant more to me than
truth and honor. I sacrificed them to
keep it. l would sacrifice them and
everything else to get it back. Is
that shameless? Perhaps. The truth
usually is. If / had told you, you
would never have forgiven me. You
know you wouldn't. If I've wronged
YOU"
eff you had loved me as true wom-
an loves, you would have told me.
You would have had to. You could not
have deceived me like this Love
doesn't feed on lies. 1t was my right
to know everything, so that I could
decide my own course. Instead, you
have led me into this trap. There is
no escape now And ir Is too late to
reproach you or to trY to make you
realize what you have done. You say
your love for me kept you from tell
ing? Believe that, If it is any com
fort to you. /"
you say / don't know what true
love is" she laughed bitterly. I'm
afraid / can never learn 1t from you.
So your love has died? Love can't
die, any more than God can die. You
have never loved me-"
q"
Never. I see now that you didn't.
For you don't know what love means.
| lived for you. Every thought and
word and act of mine was shaped for
you. And for you alone. l knew you.
I knew your faults, your follies, your
brute savagery. Ana l loved you for
them as we'll as for the good that was
in you. But what was it you loved?
The woman you married-or a snow
white sanity reputation? If you cared
only for the reputation-that is gone
forever. But if you loved me-the
woman ] ANTHEM I've been every
thing you thought I was and wanted
me to be-ever since the first moment
you had the right to think of me at all.
l gave you my life, from that time on
and forever. And it has been all yours.
Before then, it was mine"
and yet you let mo believe 1t was
everything--your whole life-your
first love-
1T was All that was worth the
giving. All that had ever been worth
the giving. 1t was my self. Oh, can't
you see that a woman's body and
heart and 'oul belong not to her first
lover but to her first love? No woman
can even guess what love is until she
has found it. And found it only