The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1913-05-24
ABatch ofSmiles

The whole family had been patient-
~ trying to teach three year old Bob
by to be polite, and particularly to
say NO. thank you..". They had COM
pany for dinner n day and when
the beets were offered him he shook
his head.
Don't you want some?" asked big
sister, encouragingly.
No" said Bobby, shortly.
mo what?" asked big sister sweet
ly and more encouragingly..
NO beets," scowled Bobby.
A city official was one of a party
which attended the funeral Of a
Chinaman. He exhibited a great deal
Of interest in the curious services at
the grave. and noticed that, among
other things, a roasted duck was left
there by the:departing m%ourners. Call
ing M of the Cinnamon aside, he
asked: -
why did you leave that duck on
the. grave? Do you think the, dead
man will come out and eat it?" :.
."alle samee as lie white deadee man
come and smellee 1owlers."
l. At a matinee performance a. stout
woman appeared at the entrance,
leading two boys, aged seven and nine,
and presented one ticket.
You will have to buy tickets for
those boys" insisted the manager.
"No. ] won't" she protested; they
inside. Why should I pay for them
If they don't see the show?"
The manager thought of the days
when his mother took him to
matinees, n as the argument was
one that he could not. get around, he
passed them in. After the first act
an usher came to the manager and
handed him a quarter.
Whats this for?" he asked.
THE fat lady told me to tell you
one of the kids woke up"
"Sixtane shillin's a da' did they
charge me for my room at the hotel
in Lunnon!" roared Sandy, indignant
ly, on his return to Croburgh Burghs
from a sightseeing expedition.
"Ou.. ay. 1t wasna cheap" agreed
fine time SEEM the sights"
Seem the sichts?" roared Sandy.
1T didna' see a SIGHT a the time I was
in Lunnon! Mon, mon, ye dinna sup
pose I was going to be stuck that
much for a room an then no get the
proper use o't?"
AllCI lue SiildIt OOS CIlkSi 6Cu lIOAi
the quick lunch place he opened a pa
per bag and revealed a club sandwich.
CHANGING furtively around. he lifted
off the top slice of bread, took out a
piece of chicken, ate it n replaced
the bread. A few moments later he
again removed the lid" extracted a
piece of bacon, and repeated this pro-
street until all the bacon was gone and
most of the chicken. A man who had
watched the process with curiosity
tapped the boy on the shoulder and
inquired:
"say, kid. why don't You eat your
sandwich, instead of picking at 1t that
Fway?"
"Dasn't." replied the youth; faint
mine"
A mar in North Carolina was saved
from conviction for horse stealing by
the powerful appeal of his lawyer.
After his acquittal by the jury the
Honor bright, now Bill, you did
steal that Horse, didn't your" -
Now look here, Judge" was the
horse. but since I heard Your speech
to that ere jury. I'll be doggoned If I
amt got my. doubts about IT, /.
To- 70
Two highlanders, being in Glasgow.
for the first time. were taking a walk
through the city. They encountered.
much to their astonishnent, a water
cart wetting the street. Never having
seen anything of the kind before.
James. under a mistaken idea, ran
after the cart and cried out to the
driver:
"Hey, man-hey. man, Yer losin' a
yer water!!"
His companion. much annoyed at
James, want of knowledge. a after
him. caught him by the arm and said'
rather testify: q
James, a dinna be shown yer
Ignorance. Dyer no zee list to keep
the Iaddies off the back o. the CART"
Bazaar.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES.