New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-07-17
AS | WAS SAYING

Now feilows-al togethcr-a long boo-hoo for our
poor starved pershing Secretary Of State. Twelve
thousand year and the wolf at the door, YET heaven
knows he economies Pee-pul's friend that he 49,
he should be well ahead of the game by this time
Nor he leads a sim-pul life
But alas ii is not so. 1t costs like sam HlI 10
live in Washington. Ask the porter When me good
Secretary pillows his head that frugal mountain
Of railway tickets and draws the draperes Of MS
berth around him. Is it to quiet dreams that ne Hes
down? OH never Frequently the Washingtonans
complain that they awakened at night by thal
moan from the Southern Pacific Pullman
Bee! Are Oaky, broke.
II may sound funny. but IL amt no joke
And yet the tragedy has its cheerful side. for all
that What an opening for bright young man IN
Washington. Fame awaits the correspondent VINO
will camp on the Peerless ones domestic car tracks
and find out where the money goes.
S-s-sh, Remember Marquette before you stir UP
another libel suit by limiting at gayetes VIC wot not
of, Besides remember that Mr. Bryan is a FAMOUS
economist and financial philosopher and all his
tradesmen know it. Hist clew! Shadow the
peerless grocer the peerless iceman. the peerless
milkman. and the genius who sells absent statesmen
those cunning little tons Of coal.
Wanted: Attractions for a three days barbecue.
Thank you no, Remuneratye doubtless but now
awfully uncomfortable!
Dreadful scandals from Maine. "Long-neckers
short-neckers" every sort of undetermined with
politics too. Next time you meet Brother Little
field coax him to illustrate the Maine definition OF
two fingers" Here we place the fingers hori-
zontaIly. In Maine they have far more festive
notion and place them vertically, one above the
other. This is called Prohibition.
Whoa dear contemporary, Do not ridcule the
Canadian Health Department for contradcting itse'f
in a single inspired Bulletin. There are times when
that is not only the cheapest way but also the most
healthful.
Surely YOU have not forgotten how the wise men
at Washington felt called upon bring out second
edition Of their pretty picture book about mush-
rooms, simply because the first had labelled all the
edible ones poisonous" and all the poisonous ones
edible"
Revenge at last. Obeylng natures first law, the
English have been shipping US their music nan
artists year after year. and meekly We have stood
IT, Had TO- we thought But there is a point be-
,ond which Read the following advertisement
from AN American theatrical paper and you VIII see
that. to speak Electrically the woim has TONED:
'Burlesquc companies. attention! Come with US
to England an entirely new field We are in the
know and will undertake to forward the interests OF
with lines Of paper and TO negotiate the disposal oil
tabs on royalty or outright sales"
II is cruel retribution, but deserved We shall
waste no plying tears on the lion and the unicorn
when they pull up in front Of those delirious red
aud-yellow posters with their proclamation OF The
Gay Co Respondents--iO Salomes 40-Congress Of
Models-Positively the Limit of Sensation and
rush inside praying FOR the immediate destruction
Of their entire moral nature, and are subjected to
songs of home and mother. and come back next week
with the blithc expectations 10 meet the same
heart breaking disappointment. II is invariably the
fate of buresque audiences who never are, but al
WAYS to be blest." And now that the lion and the
unicorn i'm for it, we look back to those London
music hall artists Of afflicted stage and call it
long deferred tit for tat.
Many unhappy captains Of industry and finance
ard politics and transportation have been investi-
gated OF late and II is refreshing how little
they manage to remember. Phenomenal, this. AL
most any individual from the humble ranks of So
cety can beat "A magnate at remembering and IL is
a wonderful aid TO justice.
@. You are positive that you recognize this de-
PENDANT?
a. Yes.
@. When have you him?
A. once. nine years ago. I remember that neck
tie pin.
O. You saw him close to?
A. Yes about a hundred yards We out in
a field.
q. What time was ii?
\. 4 little past midnight.
That settles II. They sit the defendant down in
the nice comfortable chair and snap on the cleo
ricity. II. L. II.