The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1913-01-24
A paree! Post rraqedy.

A Parcel Post Tragedy.
The wife of we'll known farmer
living a few miles south Of Charlotte
has no use for the parcel post. in
fact she is thoroughly disguised with
the entire postoffice department and
threatens 10 appeal to the authorities
ut Washington. The lady had read q
great deal about the new venture
adopted by the government and like
those who are always eager TO obtain
license No. | for their automobile, she
wanted to be the first in this section
CT the State 10 use the new system OF
sending poultry by mail instead of by
express. She arose early in the morn.
ing Of January and drove TO Char.
lOtte before o'clock in order 10 be
OH hand when Uncle Sans GtIice open.
ed With a nice big live Plymouth
rock rooster in arms. she was on the
job when Postmaster Harry McGrath
came down at the above mentioned
hour. This bird is 10 20 to my broth
er at Ithaca by parcel posi- she III.
formed MIR. McGrath. The surprise
Of the postmaster at this time was
only exceeded by The anger OF the wO-
man when told that live stock" could
not be accepted for mailing purposes.
The woman insisted that she had seen
pictures in the papers OF carriers de.
livcring not only live chickens but
also pigs and even cows and she de-
manded the necessary stamps to be
placed on the rooster. She refused TO
be convinced that she had made mis-.
take and as she got into the buggy
still carrying the Plymouth Rock un.
der one arm, the woman was heard to
mutter my husband has voted the
Democrat ticket for twenty years, and
when Woodrow Wilson takes his seat
the fourth of March there's going to
be a change in this postoltice depart
menl."
The SEWN Circle.
The SEWN circle in our town meets
every Tuesday afternoon
To sew for heather far away in zauzi.
bar and old Rangoon.
That is to say. they meet TO sew, but
everybody knows quite well
That tongues as well as needles fly
and many are the tales they tell.
They get all of the spicy news the
weekly paper dassent print.
And information's passed around with
out the slightest sort of stint.
When old Lem Hicks gifts full OF gin
and starts in fer to 10 his worst
1t is the safest sort of bet the SEWN
circle knows it first,
When the sopranner in the cboir walks
home from meetin' with the bass.
The SEWN circle spreads the news OF
their engagement round the place
When married folks enjoy a spat a
harmless one, in all due course,
The SEWN circle takes it up. enlarges
ii and brings divorce.
When any married Teller tips his hat
unto "a maiden fair.
The Sewin'circle hears of II and
thrashes round and tears its hair.
a Teller is u low.down brute 10 go and
treat his wife like that.
They say he is heartIess fiirt. The
maiden is Il little cat.
When any purity wilder goes aud buys
herself a new silk dress.
The SEWN circle hears Of 1t within a
day and starts to guess.
When any Teller feels some flush and
goes and buys. an oatmobile
They says: Where did he get the
price? No man could doit and not
steal
The SEWN circle is so gopd 1t cannot
see thing but harm,
1t is so might ALFRED good that good.
ness seems to lose its charm.
It's business is to ruin regulations with
ruthless hand.
i Compared with SEWN circles that we
know Of, we are bound TO state,
The heather stand the better chance
ofgetttng through the pearly gate,