davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
REAL GRATITUDE.

From the Pittsburg Chronicle-TelegraI'h
When Blaine was a young lawyer and
cases were few he was asked to defend a
poverty-stricken tramp accused of steal
ing watch. He pleaded with all the ar
dor at his command, drawing so pathetic
a picture with such convincing energy
that at the close of his argument the court
was in tears and even the tramp wept.
The jury deliberated few minutes and
returned the verdict mot guilty" Then
the tramp drew himself up, tears stream
ing down his Mace as he looked at tie
future "Plumed Knight" and said:
'Sir, / have never heard SO grand a
plea have not cried before since | was
a child. l have no money with which to
reward you, but drawing a package from
the depths of his ragged clothes) here's
the watch; take it and welcome
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
THE NEW BANK LAW

cities may lend on farm property up to
% per cent of its capital These loans
snail not be made for longer period than
five years.
any federal bank may establish branch
banks, and they may deal in various
forms of international credits. which
should tend to facilitate American BUSH
Hess transactions
The stock of the federal banks is linz
tied to per cent dividends, which, how
ever, shall be cumulative. This will
make the stock virtually secured as to
Income. All profits beyond the per
cent dividends shall be paid TO the United
States, which will create first a COPPER
cent surplus for each federal bank and
then apply the balance as the central
board may elect.
The Public Ledger has previously ex-
pressed qualification that a statute so
we'll safeguarded and SO conservative has
been enacted. 1t will give stability to our
finances, yet afford all necessary elastic
ity without perils OF imitation. and is the
most statesmanlike, judcious and well
conceived financial legislation enacted in
half century. 1t Is likely that prac-
tically every national bank will accept
the provisions and enter the system.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
Iron Market Outlook

The comparatively low quotations
onRig iron are said to have resulted
IN good deal of buying within the
past week or 10 days. One of the most
enterprising iron brokerage firms in
referring to several individual orders
which have been recently placed says it
is difficult to make out whether these
orders have been awarded because
the concerns buying really needed the
iron or because they thought the iron
was cheap enough to prove a good
speculation The same firm says
that Eat all events, buying this week
has been on liberal scale, and there
are now large inquiries pending"
Iron prices may not reach, the level
that would mean reasonably large
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
1t never fails. The man who says he
has no choice about mis- part OF the tur-
Eeys will always seem dissatisfied with
the piece you hand him.
Some men are born foolish, and some
get married on $40 per week. 81
Some men will get sdefull of what they
think is the Christmas spirit that they
want to whip everybody in the place.
And others think it is up to them to kiss
the bartender good night
It's an ill wind, etc. If ii wasn't for
tee joy riders most Of the coffin fac
tories would be running on half time.
Cheer up! When you are broke. you
are broke, and that settles it. But when
a wealthy man goes broke he has to ex-
plain how it came that he encountered
financial reverses.
All husbands lie about the amount of
coin they give their wives, ana all wives
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

add 50 per cent to the amount when they
tell what they receive.
The reason corn fed girl isn't afraid
to force her way through crowd is be-
| cause she knows one nip won't be higher
thar the other when she gets into the
open.
When a princess marries pretty
fellow. the lazy fool killer sits down
and waits for the divorce instead of do
ing his duty.
Some of these days when leather gets
as cheap as cotton the manufacturers
will be able to guarantee women's stock
ings in stout sizes.
Every now and then you run across a
Phi. D.kwho can't tell his soh how to find
the greatest common denominator.
The old fashioned woman who used to
shoot her husband seems to have disap-
peared. Maybe she has hooked up with
the old fashioned man who used to beat
his wife
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

From the London Chronicle.
Both Bismarck and Pepys found that
noise enhanced the value of nights rest.
Bismarck confided in his old age to an
interviewer that he could never sleep
in Berlin at night when it is quiet, but
as soon as the noise begins. about 4
O'Clock in the morning, I can sleep a lit
tie and get my rest for the day"
Pepys records in his diary en- Septem-
her %, 1861, that he slept at yelling land
still remember it that of all the nights
that ever l slept in my life ! never did
pass a night with more ericurism of
sleep; there being now and then a noise
of people that walked ne. and then it
was very rainy night, and then was a
little weary, that what between waking
and then sleeping again, one after an
other, I never had so much content In
ali my life"
The probability that We get snatches of
sleep at odd moments when we suppose
ourselves to have remained continuously
awake Is supported by the phenomena of
own disappearing visitor by the belief
that he had unconscously had a very
short nap, and many nave explained
visions of ghosts as due to dreams during
such short maps.
For nothing is better established in
connection with dreams than that an APP
PAL emily very long one can occur during
an almost infinitesimal lime. Alfred
Maury had a long. vivid dream of the
reign of terror, including the trial of
himself and his execution, and was able
to show that it all happened during the
moment of awakening by the falls of 4
rod from the bed canopy upon his neck.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
Expects Great Prosperity

shape' and We will doubtless have much
activity throughout the district in
1914, said Felix NJ Bremen.
The passage of the currency bill is
having fine effect on financial in
terests; and If the interstate commerce
commission grants the petition of the
railroads for an advance in freight
rates, and it is generally believed that
1t VIII, we will have such a wonderful
degree of prosperity that all previous
nigh records in business will be
broken"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
ONE REAL CHRISTMAS

feel as much sympathy for the pain OF
others as for his own pain.
There would be no drunkenness he
cause everybody would be temperate, us
ing moderation both in eating and drink
ing. No one would any more stimulate
himself into a beastly condition of drunk
enness than he would burn off his hand
in the fire when he felt the need of warm
ing himself.
Ihere would be no more prisons, loclS-
ups, jails, not even county iaiIs. the worst
of all for manufacturing. criminals. be-
cause there would be no criminals AT
large in the community.
No bad men? Well, not so many as nov.
if we could get Christianity (Which we
celebrate this day., well started in the
world. But there would be sick and dis
eased persons, and hospitals, no doubt.
So, there might be bad men and women.
degenerates, perhaps, even incorrigIbles,
but they would be in reformatories. old
and young remaining there until they
were cured.
On Christmas night we should not need
to lock door or a window, or put our
silver in safe. Rather we should be re-
Joieing that all the sick criminals were in
position where they might become as
ut as we to celebrate Christmas day.
But this cannot be on account of hr-
man nature being what it is Human
nature? If this is so, then we have a
poor prospect in the world. Let us rather
say the beastly nature in man, which Ia
as yet unsubdued and unresponsive to the
simple teaching of the Master of Christ
mas.
Is this sermon? No, pleasant dream.
And not to want the best is to be pessi-
mistic! Let us roll in the yule log, and
hang the mistletoe, and see, The host Is
rising to propose the health of all tile
world, and God bless us ALL"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
; As to south. regional Banks

Il met an Atlanta man early this
week who expressed himself as con-
fident that Atlanta would be selected
as the city for the south's regional
reserve bank" said j. w. Whitcomb
of Chicago. Il asked him why he was
SO confident and he replied that At
ianta was entitled 10 the award on
general principles OF course, that
proved nothing. All Atlanta people are
boosters for their city and l don't
blame them for they have much to- be
proud of; but it is safe bet that Bir-
mingham will -be little ahead of
Atlanta in populat ton in the census of
1920. And by 1880 Birmingham will
lar outstrip the Georgia city. l would
say at a glance that Birmingham was
the place for one of the regional banks,
on account of its geographical situa-
ton II for no other reason"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
COURAGE.


From the Argonaut.
When Jacob M. Dickinson, formerly
Secretary of War, as member of the
Alaskan boundary tribunal, was called
upon suddenly to make his argument be-
cause Sir Edward Carson had concluded
his remarks one day ahead of time, he
began, by telling story. 80 far from
feeling any sense of confidence" he said
to the president of the court. 81 am in
a position very deeply to syn1pathize with
the feelings of the Confederate soldier
who, when the battle line was sweeping
forward in the last fearful charge at
Chickamauga, and rabbit jumped up
ana ran through to the rear, cried out:
Run, cottontail. II l did not have any
moro character at stake than you have,
| would run, too.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
Winter Weather Due

up to this time we have for the
most part an open winter, but my pre-
diction is that we will have much freez-
ing weather and at least one good snow
storm between now and March," said
an old weather observer
we should all pray for severe freez-
ing temperature, for hard freezes kill
out the boil weevil Alabama has es-
capped the ravages of the weevil thus
far, and with real winter weather in
January and February next years cot
ton crop will be little affected by the
pest"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
A Virginia Visitor

Il had not been in Birmingham be-
fore this visit for 10 years" said
Henry B. Watkins of Charlottville, Va,
formerly of Richmond, who. with his
wife, is the guest of Henry Hiden
This city's growth has been mar
yelous indeed The Birmingham dis
trict has been well advertised ever since
the first blast furnace was built, and
1t has been especially well advertised
since steel was made here. Ten years
ago Birmingham was quite a city, but
1T has developed on such large lines
that | hardly recognized it when I
came here this time. I find it great
business center and charming socially
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
MINISTER'S THERE.

From the Houston Chronicle.
There was an old Scottish pagan in a
small village who could by no means pe
persuaded to attend church One day
the minister met him and began: How
is At, John, you are so persistent in your
absence from church,"
Well replied John, Its just like
this-the sermons are over lang tor me-"
John! joint wrathfuIly cried the
minister, you'll dee and you'll go to a
place where you'll hear no sermon, long
or short.
All, weel, maybe that will be- re-
piled the phlegmatic John, but I'm sure
it'll no be for want of meenisters"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
THE BUMP OF INQUIRY
m London Tit-Bits.

The phrenologist frowned
Then he went carefully once more over
the bumps of the man in the chair.
Highly intelligent he repeated
highly intelligent! But am bound to
warn you, sir. You have very inquring
mind. and your thirst for knowledge is
Unsuitable. This large bump running
across the back of your head means that
you are inclined to be curious even to
the point of recklessnsss"
II know it, answered tho man in the
chair. sadly. Il got that bump by stick
ing my head through the bars at the
hotel lift to see If the lift was coming
up. and-and the beastly thing was COM
ing down.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

ANE Nohi0 nave one real CHRISTMAS
day? Just one. The world
might like it so well that it would want
another. Think a moment what it would
be like.
It would have ON war in 1t. There would
not be a million of soldiers drilling aud
discplining themselves to kill other sol.
diers, or to prevent other soldiers from.
killing them. There would be no armies
to keep what land we have, or to get land
from others which they are unwilling to
give up. There would be no big warships
built for the purpose of destroying other
big warships and putting to death the
skilled mechanics who operate them
There would be no arsenals, no camps
with thousands of men segregated from
productive pursuits, no navy yards, no
foundries and factories for the manufae-
ture of big guns, and rifles and pistols
and swords and bayonets and knives and
cartridges, and different kinds of deadly
powders and explosives. But wouldn't
this be a great loss? Yes. For these are
industries upon which thousands depend
But as all these industries are for the ex-
press purpose of destroying lives and
property-and unles they do destroy lives
and property they seem luxuries-would
not the world be richer. say, in a genera
ton, if all our industries We're devoted to
creating property and saving lives?
Then, on that Christmas day there
would be no poverty But there has al
ways been poverty. Yes. That is no rea-
son why it is desirable or a good thing in
the world. There would be no poverty be-
cause everybody would be industrious and
thrifty and not envious, and as for the
sick and the unfortunate, everybody would
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
IT'S BEAUTY HAD GONE.

Il ichi the DttrOlt frSe Press.
Duncan Macpherson was playing golf.
Going out, he drove brilliantly over a
stream in a hollow. My, but you wis a
fine drive owre the bonny wee Eurn,'' he
remarked to his cadde. Coming home.
he had to play over this same BURN
frr another hole and drove right into
i. Gang We an fish the ball cot o. Won
dirty sewer. he growled.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

The st. Petersburg Novoe Vremya
suggests that the quarrel between the
widow and the daughter of Count Toll
stoy over which of the two should pos
sess the manuscripts of the writer be
settled out of court 1t proposes that
two photo graphs of the documents he
made, one for each of the women, and
the originals deposited in a museum.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
HEIGHT OF CONTEMPT,

From the Washington Star.
Discussing customs difficuJtv Nh
Loeb said:
If ours weren't such big end ms
tant country I suppose SC ne tourist 80,
treat us as the Yanl se ausansoblrs
treated Montenegro
This automobiles. afte 3 -isnels u.th
the customs officers on 1e Dnteuesf'a
frontier, shouted
Here shut up the trants 'ut EVA
back on the car again IN NOT 81
through you at all! Yoa'fe no 9onwy
you're only spot. d2a '7liai iosIiss
~ OF % minutes ana Sc &c round
Won -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Ella Wheeler Wilcox says a woman
can't really love until she is past the
age OF 30. Most of them have at least
to make pretense before that time or
they don't have a chance
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

London charities receive an uneX-
pected bequest of S1,25O,OOO owing to
the death of a schoolboy Godfrey An
SILL as result of an accident which
befell him when he was tobogganing
on the famous Cresta run at St Moritz
two years ago. The boys father, a
stock broker, who amassed fortune
1895, died in 1905. The bulk of his
fortune was bequeathed to Godfrey,
but was to go to various hospitals and
charitable institutions in London in
case the boy died in his minority.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

New York has recently imported a
heavy shipment of eggs from far-off
Siberia to satisfy the heavy demand
The natural cold storage facilities of
petitor in this line.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

cable special to the New York
Sun says that another big estate is
shortly to be in the market, the Earl
of Kintore having decided to sell 90
600 acres in the neighborhood of IN
verurie, Aberdeen and Montrose, the
income from which is estimated at
about $4,000 year. The estate in
cludes urban and rural properties and
some of the best agricultural land in
Scotland. There are also salmon fish
cries and timber plantations. The his
toric Keith Hall, the residence of the
kintore family, and other fine houses
are on the property. 1t has been ar
ranged to offer the estate at auction
en- bloc and If a purchaser is not found
1t will be offered in lots. The tenants
of the Earl of Kintore will have an
opportunity to buy their present hold
ings. Lord Kintores ancestors mort
gagged the family estates and lawyers
have been managing them for many
years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

From the Detroit Free Press.
Your fathers sicker man than we
thought"
That so, MAJ
Yes. just did something that suited
him."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
AT DAWS

By Richard Burton.
At dawn she sought the sapigr si3is
To kiss the spot where - had b n
And weep warm tears IKE snriltf,sss
rain.
" ifen ~ tne.e s.oou' vi hea Fl i'atil.
breath,
And Master" Mary ar aratli
From out the far and frazer ear
How sweeter than the se7z u sss
That tender offering of teafs
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

With Huerta quiet, Mrs. Pankhurst
in France, Congress recessed and Pres
ident Wilson taking a vacation, Joe
Tinker bas<s unrivaled in the publicity
limelight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Christmas cards continue to arrive.
The custom of sending holiday greet
ings through the mail is a good one.
and should remain in vogue.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Kaiser Wilhelm has disposed of his
schooner. 1t is ship this time, how
ever, regardless of the fact that the
Kaiser is now a prohibitionist.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Birmingham would begin the new
year we'll by securing a regional bank
for this territory.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
TELEPHONE
Bell (prfvafe exchange connecting Is
Aepartments), Main 1900.

We ignorant of ourselves,
Beg often our own harms, which the
wise powers
DENY us for our good; SO find we profit
BY losing of our prayers.
Antony and Cleopatra.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Roosevelts recent information re.
garding the Monroe doctrine was treat
ing Chile rather coldly
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

1t is to be hoped that the currency
bill bears but little resemblance to "the
same old Bill" of New York.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Orville Wright has invented a fool
proof aeroplane. Up to date these ma
chimes have all been foolkillers
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

The average spug is that kind of per-
son who tells you [ told you so when
your Christmas bills fall due.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Many a man can see through an am
biguous letter who can't read between
the lines on woman's face.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

A SOLDERING thought from DR.. Charles
Eliot, reads headline. Timely just
just after Christmas, anyway.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

The acid test for a spug is to turn
down uselessly given Christmas
present
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
PUZZLES OF SLEEP

New Year resolutions from the "baf
trusts" are now in order
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala,
postoffice as secoLd class matter under
act of Congress Marcn ;. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1913-12-27
From the Kansas civ star.

wv OULDN'T It be beautiful If wt
w could have one real Christmas
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1913-08-11
Should Women Register?

Some of our good men last year,
in Oregon, declared the chief objec-
ton they had to women becoming
voters was because they would not
exercise their rights and appear at
the polls if they became enfran-
chised; or else after casting their
ballots one or more times they would
regard this privilege as a mere toy
and would lay it aside for something
newer that caught their fancy. Thus
our state would be burdened with a
lot of useless citizens.
1t is for the women of Oregon to
prove these allegations false. First,
for very dignity's sake, we women
cannot afford to lower ourselves in
the eyes of mankind to any degree.
1t is not exactly an objectionable sin
to be a bunch of frivolity, nor a
drudge to whom a single unsecured
pan or unpublished doorknob means
twinge of manufactured conscience
that affects only the owner thereof.
But it is more of an objectionable
sin, when to us is given the privilege
to help decide by our ballots how the
housekeeping of our state should be
done and we do not apply ourselves
to righteous task. Second, all
shirking from duty rebounds some
time, somewhere, on ourselves. There
is an old saying that for the lack of
horseshoe nail the battle was lost
Let not one of us be the lacking nail
Registration is the nail. We should
not fail to use it.
What is thero to do? OF course,
one never really knows until the bat
tie is on. But this one thing is sure,
we are facing conditions on this
coast which may not mean much pos
sibly to ourselves, but surely will to
our children and grandchildren.
Study the newspapers of our state
and there you will find outlined
warnings for the future unless we
take time by the forelock. They are
founded on statistics cleaned from
teh Atlantic coast or middle west.
There thousands OF little children,
some but six years old, labor from
l 4 to 16 hours day in the Gamer
les or sweatshops. Read of the ter
rible conditions of such slums as
flourish in Chicago or New York.
Note the mine disasters with tho loss
of life because of ineffective protec-
ton. See how California is already
in the throes of the immigration
problem. Shall the Oregon laborer
receive only quarter of a dollar a
day wages, as already has gripped