davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
USE MESSENGERS

WASHINGTON, D. O., Oct. 80.
About three-fourths of the In
vitations for the wedding next
month of Jessie Wilson to Fran
els Bowes Sayre at the White
House will be delivered by mes
senger, according to an announce
ment today.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
EPOCH MAKING

ATLANTA, Ca, Oct. 29.-That
President Wilson's speech at Mo-
bile, in which he declared the
United States would not seek fur
ther territory by conquest,s will
be placed in history as the mo
bile declaration" was the state
ment today of Secretary OF the
Navy Josephus Daniels.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
A SWELL REQUEST

South Yakima citizens appear
ed before the council this morn
ing asking that artistic lighting
be installed on their thorough
fare after 1t is paved. Nick Law
son will figure what it will cost.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
KILLED SEVENTH

WILLIAMSON. w. Va, Oct.
29.-Mrs. Sarah Sloan was cap
turned here today after fleeing
from Blackberry Creek, Ky,
where she shot and killed her d.
vorced husband. She was the
seventh wife of Jud Sloan, and
his eighth wife witnessed the
shooting.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
MAN REPENTS FOR CRIME;
POLICE TURN HIM LOOSE
called to examine the

clan, was called to examine the
mans mental condition.
Mentally normal, but relig-
iously seriously converted" re-
marked the doctor.
GO! Square yourself with the
man you wronged and sin no
more," said the police captain in
Biblical fashion.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
ATTACKS JUDGE

NEW York. Oct 29.-An-'
gered over trivial decision made
against him by Magistrate Corri-
gan, Joseph Patuzel, distin-
guished litigant. lay in wait for
the Judge and struck him over
the head with q club. He was
overpowered BY reporters and
locked up.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

New Years day Uncle Sam will
open sale of government bonds
to postal savings bank. deposit
tors. Any who have deposits may
take government. bonds for the
deposits in sums of $40, 500 and
$500. The bonds will draw 2h
per cent interest. The bonds are
exempt from all taxes.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
Is MADE KING

BERLIN. Oct. 29.-The Baga-
rian cabinet today received the
consent of Prince Regent Ludwig
to bill making him king or sHa-
varia in place Of the insane King
Otto. who has held the throne
since 1886 but has been 30 insane
as to be totally ignorant Of his
position.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
MILLS TO SEE THAT MIN
WILL FREEZE NO MORE

Perhaps prisoners in the city
jail will not freeze after this.
The conditions at night were
called to the attention Of Com
missioner OF Public Safety A. U.
Mills yesterday and he promised
TO make some provision for in
mates of the cells.
He was considering installing
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
CAN'T DO IT

Judge Stiles said the council
could not limit the number of
picture shows in town so the po-
sition OF the show men this morn
ing was referred to Mills without
any indication of future action.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
EMBEZzLED COIN

CHICAGO. Oct. 20. Said to
have been married a week ago in
San Francisco. James r. Thomas
was arrested last night charged
with having embezzled $1,000
from McCauley brothers of Van
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

PORTLAND, Ore, Oct. 20
George e. Dawson, a baker, at
tended a street religious gather
ing last night and became filled
with zeal, and hastened to the po-
lice station to give himself up as
a "forger" who had passed a mo
funds" check.
DR.. Blair, assistant city physi-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

highly that he had to drink to be
able to eat 1t. Hughes said the
only reason he got real intoxl-
Gated was because his wife In
sisted on smearing her face with
brilliant rouge and penciling her
eyebrows and blacxening her eye
lashes.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
GIRL;
BODY IS FOUND

ANGELES Cal, 2s-The body of vorndon
Mission apartments
throat that had sranged
been about Reynolds ehum Miss
found the body and notified the police She held wit
a
that had occupied known w. Wilson.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
MERRIAM LOSES

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL, Oct.
29.-Capt.. Henry c. Merriam lost
his suit for divorce from Bessie
G. Merriam today by decision
Of Superior Judge Graham.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

electric heaters. similar to the
ones In the chiefs and sergeant's
offices, In the cells. but this plan
did not prove feasible. SO it is
likely he will see that there is
somebody to keep up steam at
nights and warm the jail. He Is
ngurfng putting a man on No
vember ].
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
PROBE CHARGES

CHARLEsTOWN, w. Va. Oct.
39.An Investigation was COM
menced by the state prison board
today OF the charges Of Johit
splnxs. an ex-convict. that pris-
oners In the state penitentiary
ws,e tortured Tor trivial o1enseA
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

A. his speech q meeting at
first night
neatly dressed intelligent appearing
with
lifted q
Wasth cause Of m
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

ing other girl friends and stamped
him. He responded with a smack
on the Jaw. II Is said, THAI laid
her out and sent |her to The hos
pital for four days.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
TO
SEE PLAY
TONIGHT

OF SOCIAL SERV-
ICE BOARD AND PROSECUTE
OR ASKREN TAKE IN 1.-THE
LURE" THIS EVENING-AC-
TION MAY FOLLOW.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

made . mistake paid PEN
aga him the against him?
there the good Christian people of Tacoma
give m employment q chance?"
A j.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

VERA CRUZ is really a city you
know. That is what makes
the above remark so delicious
ly funny.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
AVIATOR IS KILLED

RHEIMS, France. Oct. se.-
Quartermaster Sergt. vanal.
French aviator. was killed ye1ter-
day afternoon when his machine
collapsed
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29
IS THIS A
HAND-P|Ck
JURY, PEOPLE?


A. president Bindery Printing
mobile
Rhodes, president Rhodes automobile
j. F. Lyon Helar-Lyon Co automobile
II. w. Clark, 624 j street, automobile
j. H. Latshaw.
w. H. Kirwin IS
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

"DRIED LEMONS, Old Clothes,
Faded Flowers, Divorce"
states our morning contempo-
rary.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

CECE KIMBROUGH, the eminent
local bicylist, has equipped his
trusty steed with fire gong,
and says he has as much fun
now as if he owned an automo-
bile.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

HEADLINE SAYS: "vera Cruz
Chuckles." The young lady
must have q sense of humor.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

w. w. is losing all his gallantry,
1t seems. The other day he met
a man he didn't like and they
had an awful argument.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

THE GONG makes pedestrians
jump just as fast as when they
hear the honk OF an auto horn.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

AND YET HERE we go putting
out in front ourselves.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

GUARD MCCOY at the city jail
told prisoner to go and fetch
him pail of water. 1t took
said prisoner so long to find
a well that he lost his way
and couldn't md the jail.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

THAT'S a nice meal for break.
fast, amt it?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

eanfzed to push the movement.
Another meeting will be held
next month at the First Baptist
church.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

THE ONLY TROUBLE is that
Rosalind works in a store DUR
ing the daytime as a window
dummy.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

OTHER PEOPLE ARE going, too,
but Billy asked us to put his
name in the paper.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

ROSALdND made a great hit at
the Ad club last night. She
proved a charming girl, and she
wore diaphanous skirt, with
slit in It.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

AS THE FRAY kept on fraying,
w. w. waxed sarcastic and
threw hot shots into his oppo-
nent.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

IN CASE Huerta wins the Mexi-
can election, they are going to
appoint another president.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

BILLY ASKREN is going to see
1.-THE Lure" this evening.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

A COLLEGE PRESIDENT has de-
clared that a million would
Christianize the Turks.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

WE DON'T know what is wrong
with W.. W.. unless It is that
somebody has been trying to
sell him a Ford automobile.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

s'YOUR MOTHER must have been
fond of children, to let you
live" he got on his chest once.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

"THE LURE" will lure quite
few tonight.
REN DOW DOESN'T like the
play. Reverend McGinnis
doesn't like it, either.
THEREFORE,, we are going to it,
believe us!
MORNING PAPER announces in
big headlines that there were
three pitched battles in Colo
RADIO yesterday. That should
60 on the sporting page.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1913-10-29

HE MEANS million BuIearians,
of course.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

Corporal. you'd increase the Bank clear
ances by changing your clothes
well what does affect the Bank Clear
ances?"
"The changing of money
well. then, I suppose if l had this
trade dollar changed into four quarters
we'd show slight increase, would we?'
.'We would if you spend three of EN-,
Corporal If money would hatch, you'd
have the right idea; but you can sit on it
as long as you like and cackle as loud as
you please, and your only result will be
ashole in your pocket. Every time that
the people at large get an idea that can
incubate interest by putting what they
have between the mattresses we always
have one of these financial depressions.
That's good place for your Sunday
trousers, but when it comes to pressing
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

deposit boxes? | thought the Banks had
it ALL
Well, they haven't; and if you have
ever lolled in limousine or figured the
Fords, you must realize there is more
money parked in the average garage than
shows on the statements of some of our
best Banks"
That's nonsense. picked up state
ment from Bank yesterday, and it sure
looked good to me-"
1T did? Well, what did it shows"
The condition of business as of the
3lst day of August
The condition of business? Did it by
any chance show the condition of the
Banks'
rs there any difference
1T isn't exactly difference only you
deposit money on the condition of the
business, but when you come to draw it
out the condition of the Bank has more
or less to do with whether YOU get it or
not"
Well, | know one thing-it showed
fne Capital and Surplus. didn't know
there was so much money"
1t would probably be news to the
Bank, too, Corporal. Did any one ever
explain Bank statement to you?'
Liabilities Play Second
Fiddle 10 Assets
mo. | confess | don't know much
about them. Do you?'
"A little. My wife's brother is en-
ployed IN Bank was going to say he
worked there, but he wouldn't like that
He has told me more or less about it.
and I've gathered that the Capital is
what the stock holders say they will
subscribe"
Il see. And what is the Surplus?'
'The Surplus is what the stock holders
hope to divide without keeping their
promise regarding the capital By the
way, what did the statement you found
say under the head of Liabiities?"
Il didn't notice had forgotten my
glasses and can't read fine print without
en-
Il don't know much about Liabilities
myself, but I've noticed that while Banks
mention them in their statements, they
have the Assets painted on the windows
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

and printed in the calendars
Can Bank have Assets without hav-
ing Liabilities
Il don't think So
"Why not?"
Wouldn't Be Bank.
It'd Be Mint
Because if it did it wouldn't be a
Bank"
What would it be?'
"A Mint"
"The Banks control the Money, don't
they?"
Hardly; they sort Of regulate it.
Isn't that the same thing?'
NO For instance, you and regulate
the Traffic in Market street, don't we?"
1--WE certainly do
"But we don't control it."
"Why don't we?"
Because if it all went up Mission there
wouldn't be any in Market "You see, we
regulate what comes Our way, but we
don't know where it comes from or where
it's going, SO we don't control it."
''Yes, but with the Banks and Money
it's
Precisely the same thing. They regu-
late what comes to them, but they don't
control it, because they don't know where
it comes from, or where it's going. Cor
poral lot of us have exaggerated ideas
of Banks and what they can do. As a
matter of fact, they are nothing more or
less than commercial nursegirls, minding
something that belongs to some one else.
That may all be; but suppose | want
to borrow some money, go to the Bank,
state my proposition
And don't get it.
There you are; that looks like control
ling it to me-"
Not bit Of it. Let me explain. Sup
pose an automobile started to cross Mar
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27
Boost Clcarings BY
Changing Clothes

"Yes, and I'll admit there's more sense
in that than there is in carrying around a
pocket piece which represents sack of
potatoes, or the start of savings ac-
count. Why, if we all did that, the only
way we could keep the Town from being
in constant state Of panic would be to
sit upiall night According to your theory,
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27
Maize Warehouses
of Biggest Bonds

sWhy, as soon aswe got used to the
idea it would be Just exactly like the
show windows in Post street; as long as
we had tag on our own back we'd at
tend to business
And if we didn't have tag?" -
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27
Some One Whispers
and Money Hides

"Just as you say-some one whispers.
You know, Corporal, it's poor Town
that can't support few whisperers, and,
if it can, they'll keep it poor. II
National Law against whispering were
to go into effect tomorrow, the Banks
couldn't handle the money that would be
thrown at EN-. Why, one whisperer can
dig more graves and never touch a tool
than a dozen orators can with the pick OF
loud abuse and the spade of roaring
rhetoric. With whisper it's good deal
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27
Banks and Shell
Game Operators

lame operators
Absolutely That's how the pea and
shell man got it, and that's how it should
be taken away from him.
you're not comparing the Banks with
the pea and shell operator, are your
Il didn't intend to, but now that you
mention it, the only difference can see
is that the Banks have made an indoor
game out of it"
''Well, l noticed last week, in spite OF
all the talk, the Bank clearances showed
healthy increase
"They did, ef? / hadn't noticed; but
Ill never forget remark | heard a sales
man make in the Chiefs Office one day.
He was demonstrating his instrument,
and one of his selling points was that an
adding machine had to do as it was told,
that it couldn't make up total of its own
accord to save its life
You know the old proverb, Figures
never lie
That's true, but there are dozen men
in San Quentin who have proved beyond
any question of a doubt that they occa-
sionally deviate.'
when do you think things will be.
better?"
"The minute we take Our hats off when
we pass Church and stick our tongues
out when we pass Bank.
"Well, wish | knew lot more about
it. When all is said and done, it must be
great to be Capitalist
"It is-if you have money.
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

they love interrogation points, but they
hate periods
'sYou speak Of money as if it had
habit of going to the same place every
day."
And SO it has; that doesn't cause the
trouble, however"
"What does, them"
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

you're not! You nearly Iell on you
a straight jacket"
interest out of money, Bank is the
laundry to send it to-
Just minute ago you were blaming
the whole thing on the Banks
And | DO yet. don't blame them for
pressing the interest out, but do think
when they refuse to give you the original
garment back they are open to criticism
Us that what they are doing now?'
Remedy for These
Financial Straits
Worse; they are sending out to the
house for the rest of the suit"
We'll, if things don't pick up, what do
you suppose will happen?"
They will probably come into the back
yard and take the clothes off the line, in
which case the only man with dollar
will be the fellow who has one union suit
and is wearing it,
What do you suggest as remedy for
all this?"
Il was up in Post street yesterday, and
] noticed that all the jewelry stores put
whatever they had out where everybody
can see it"
"And what good does that do::''
"You haven't heard anybody say that
there's no jewelry in town, have yous"
NO"
Nov, then, suppose we all had tag
sewed in the middle of our back showing
just how much money we each had
Had where?'
Either in stocking, tomato can or
our pocket
.sThen what =,
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

day, every one is prosperous and snil-
ing, and Tuesday they are all talking in
whispers. the smiles are gone and the
best of EN- look as if some one had
caught them sitting in the bleachers.
How does it all start?'
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

like it is with sound sleep, you never
wake up until it's all over. The only
reason more people are not bitten by
rattlesnakes is because the rattler can't
whisper"
"And what has all this to do with the
money situation? You can't whisper
money out of circulation, can your
Eyes, you can, and SO far out that you
can't call it back with a megaphone. II
every one would talk to money as do
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

WED stand on some live corner until
we saw back that footed up to the
amount we wanted, blow whistle and
open negotiations.
"And what would become of the Banks
in such an event?"
eve could make warehouses out of tho
big ones?"
"And the little ones?"
well, they could put in patching ma
chimes and sew patches on the coats OF
those who were storing goods in the big
ones"
Then your theory is that there's plenty
of money, but those that want it dont
know where it is 7"
No, that's not it at all. | contend that
there's plenty of money, but those who
have it have no confidence in those who
want it,
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

llouDlC, HOWCvCl.
what does, them"
Human Beings Are
About Likc Money
sWhy, the habit the Bank gets into of
expecting it, Take yourself, for instance.
You probably take the same route to the
stable every morning; the butcher on one
street bows to you, you talk baseball to
janitor on another, and SO it goes-the
same route and the same people day by
day. If a murder or dog fight happened
to call you into an alley, not less than four
or five people would have you reported as
missing, and by the time you got chance
to go home and clean up you would prob
ably meet your wife on the way down
town to price Grape. Every one ought to
get around more, and it's the same with
money"
There's no sense in the world to all
that. If tomorrow every one changed
their route by common agreement, it does
take any more brains than / have to see
that some one would take up the route
that I'd just left
Corporal, give me your hand; that's
just exactly my idea
Your idea of WHAT
"Of circulation-what else? You would
have to look up another butcher and a
new janitor, while your old friends would
probably be passing the time o day with
some carpenter who was on your route.
You know, Corporal, human beings and
money are pretty much the same; the
only difference is, that money doesn't
depreciate as fast"
Speaking of depreciation" said the
Corporal, producing an old Trade Dollar,
here is an old pocket piece that has been
in my family for years, and
And you're asking me for an explana
tion of the money question Corporal, if
| wasn't paid to furnish brains and
patience for ignorant tax payers I'd be
tempted to forget the stripes on your coat
and take just one healthy swing at you.
You are asking me whole lot of ques-
tions, with the explanation in your
pocket
What has this souvenir got to do with
the money situation
Souvenir Habit
Applied TO Money
well, I'm going to give you one more
chance. Suppose you had million of
'em?"
Suppose / had''
"And suppose you treated 'em all as
souvenirs?''
But wouldn't"
Nevertheless. a lot OF people do.
What would you do with EN-"
I'D take good care to put them where
no one could ever touch them
"All right Suppose thousand people
did that, how much money would that put
out of circulation"
Il don't know; I'm not quick at
figures"
You're not? You nearly fell off your
iioi DC WhSh lildt DiS DAuiSttS WIFI Oy IA
straitjacket In any event, Corporal,
that's the trouble with all of us; we want
the other fellow to do the Horn of Plenty
stunt, while we treat everything we own
like a pocket piece
well, you have no objection to my
carrying penknife and keyring, have
your
None in the world; but if you take my
advice you will never hand them in to the
Receiving Teller and ask him to enter em
up in your passbook."
No; I'll admit there wouldn't be much
sense in that"
Boost Clearings by
Changing Clothes
"Yes, and I'll admit there's more sense
in that than there is in carrying around
pocket piece which represents sack OF
potatoes, or the start OF a savings ac-
count. Why, if we all did that, the only
way we could keep the Town from being
in constant state Of panic would be to
sit uplall night. According to your theory,
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

to some of these teamsters, we'd get some
place
And I've seen some of these same
teamsters do some talking back them
selves
There's the whole story-now you've
said 1.-THE minute money starts to talk
back it has to come out in the open where
we can all get a whack at it. It's dis
couraging making bright remarks from
the inside of safe deposit box. The only
way to catch a rat is first to get him out
Of the hole, and it's very much the same
way with money
Condition of Banks;
Condition of Business
is that where the money is, in safe
The San Francisco call., 1913-09-27

ckT ERE" snapped the Corporal, is
Fl the Sis l owe you, and if
sou knew how tight money is
you would realize the effort
am making to pay it back
Il understand replied the Traffic Cop,
giving as a receipt a sigh of relief Il
understand those who have it are circu-
lating the report that money is SO tight
if it took another drink it couldn't stagger
home on its hands and knees
81 suppose you don't believe it is
tight?''
4 don't? Just to show you how I'm
fixed financially, I'm willing to admit its
pie eyed
81 can't get it through my head. Mon