davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
Embarrassing.

A military man fell asleep in the
stalls while the curtain-raiser was
being played, and woke up when his
daughter nudged him and whispered:
"Charley's Aunt!'
The colonel leaped to his feet and
cried:
BLESS me, so 1t is" and began to
shake hands furiously with demure
old lady who happened to be pass
ing along the.stalls in front Of him.
How do fou do, madam? And how
is Charley?+
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

so you've got a job in a store,
eh?"
Nothing in the way Of your get
ting ahead there, is there?"
Nothing but a cash register"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
Brazen Lotharlo.

SenatCr Oliver was talking about a
brazen-oheeked lobbyist.
He took rebpffs with the utmost
sangfroid," said Senator Oliver. He
was like the youth whose fiancee,
having discovered his unfaith, said
hoty:
Permit me to return your ring
"'Oh, you needn't bother about the
ring, the youth replied. I buy 'em
by the dozen.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
All Rioht There.

"My boys greatest ambition is to
lick his teacher"
That's fine ambition"
'"Oh, it's all right. mean his box
ing instructor"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
His Crouch.

Whats Wombat irrltated about
now?"
These shocking transparent skirts"
why should they make him
peevish"
He hears about 'em but never
sees any"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
lncsndlarx In the Kitchen.

Betty has done it again-the roast
is burnt"
1T is your fault. The idea of hiring
a militant suffragette as a cook!"-Le
Sourire.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

are the daily torment Of thousands. To eff
fectually cure these troubles you must re.
move the cause Foley Kidney Pills begin
10 work for YOU from the first dose. and ex.
ert so direct and beneficial an action in the
kidneys and bladder that the pain and tor
ment of kidney trouble soon disappears.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
EutiIe Reforp

What is this 'uplift movement
hear so much about?"
We'll, in a great many instances II
seems to be a painful spectacle of too
many people trying to talk at once"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

Hes living high; he must have got
hold of some ready cash"
"Yes, his auto turned turtle, and
he sold it to the junk dealer. He is
now living on turtle soup"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills are sold
with and without soluble sugar coating.
They regulate the bowels, invigorate the
liver and purify the blood. Adv
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

Many very remarkable rock forma-
tions are found in Mashonaland, AT
rica, one of them being here illus
trated This huge pile of granite
boulders is nearly $50 feet high and
the rocks are balanced with the great
est nicely, being retained in position
by the smaller rock on the top.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
On the Other Hand.

Wife (complainingly)-"The Will
f1ngsons' house is much larger than
ours" Husband-"Yes, my dear, and
so is their mortgage. Boston Tran
script.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

Lydia E. Pinkham's 3
Vegetable Com
pound did for me.
One year agoI found
myselfa terrible suf-
ferer. l had pains
in both sides and
such a soreness l
could scarcely
str al gh tie n up at
times. Ny b ack
ached, l had no ap-
petite and was so
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

Not because she wants the last
word is woman dreadful, but because
she wants the Last cent.-Smart Set.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
Out Of Fashion.

Worms expelled promptly from the human
system with DR.. Pe0Fy's VOrmifug0 "Dead
Shot" Adv.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

VWg OF Y aWTTVUWs
She's such a modest little wom-
an"
Yes. Three years behind the times
even in that respect"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
WOMAN ESCAPES
OPERATION
By Timely Use of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.

Here is her own statement.
Cary, Maine. -" feel 1t a duty owe
20 all suffering women 70 tell what
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1913-11-14
WA NTED

Your name and address on postal will bring you
tNe biggest money making offer you ever received,
and free samples with which you make A0O daily.
BEST MFG. CO.. Box 500, Providence, II. 1.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
BY j. w. M'CoNAUGHY.
TODAY'S INSTALLMENT.
Copyright, 1919, by Journal American
Examiner

HIN! l wonder how that happened"
he murmured.
''lf you knew that and had your supper
You could go to bed" growled the old
servant. Manning grinned.
You're Irish, eh""
Kayton came back frem the window
and appraised the stubborn old man
quickly ana silently
You're great detective. Joe" he said
grimly Then he addressed Finley with
studied courtesy
can you put that chair the way it
was?"
~ can not" responded the old man
promptly
THE body was lying on its side. was
it, pursued Kayton, calmly
That's as maybe" gruuted Finley
Manning was unable to restrain himself
at this cavalier treatment of his revered
chief
Say! You better open up," he snarled
you may be hanged ON this case your
self vet"
The butler snorted contemptuousIy.
'Ill Will you me wits then" he retorted,
moving toward the door You'll be
needin' EN-
whats his nameo" demanded Kayton,
in a whisper
Finley" replied Manning, in the same
guarded tone. Kayton raised his voice.
Joe, get Mr., Finley In here" he COM
manded Hes the man that can help
us"
"Why, he's Finley" replied Manning
The old servant stopped and turned. Kay
ton approached him eagerly.
Are you Mr.. Finley" he demanded
That parsonage swelled his chest
~ am he declared, Importantly.
'Weu' why diu't YOU tell us that at
frst?" Kaytous tone was a marvel of cor
diallN and reproaCh. 81 understand your
confidential relations with the household
and with Mr.. Argyle, and young Mr. AZ
gyle tells me that you're in a position to
he of the greatest assistance to us"
Winning the Butler.
The old buffers face told of struggle
between completely grati6ed vanity and
general Indignation over the whole situa-
tiou. His next remark was mixture Of
the two.
well sir, ! can tell you this," he de
clared. IL lay no great store by detec-
tIvcs"
You're quite right" agreed Kayton in
hearty sympathy
"A class of men with so little intelM-
gence that they would put suspicion on
Miss Mary went on Finley, Indignantly.
at the same time subuy making It clear
that be excluded Kayton from the general
condemnation ''fheyre beyond the as
sistance of ans honest mani"
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

Did YOU try to help them" inquired
kayton.
Help them!" exploded the old man.
Man alive, how can YOU come between a
fool and his folly? They'd hear no word
from me- Their minds-what they had of
'em-were all set on one thought
We'll, Mr.. Finley" said Kayton sooth-
ingy, that's the very reason we're here.
Now tell us the facts as you know them.
You found the body"
Il did not" returned Finley, instantly,
with some traces of his indignation, but
with manifest change of attitude toward
the new investigator. 81 was quiet in me
bed when the man-Andy-boor in on
me, He's dead he says, stark dead on
the ture in there" Who's dead? | says
MIR. Argyle says he
Who's AndN|' interrupted kayton
pan ScullN's boy" replied Finley
"IJim that
How longs he been here"
Time out o mind Nearly as long as
meselt"
What does he do""
"Hc makes himself useful when ! tell
him He's a simple soul" added the old
man. in the manner of one speaking of the
feeble minded
Send for him" said Kayton, curtly.
Old Finley promptly rang a bell
WHO else was in the house," went on
the detective Finley wrinkled his fore
head and licked off the inmates on his
fingers.
Myself, Miss Mary, the girl. Kitty,
Topp, the footman and the cook" he re-
piled. Mrs. Wyatt was away. Mr.
Bruce, MIR. Argyles son. was here for din
ner that night and went away early"
Did YOU see him go?" asked Kayton
swiftly, with a keen glance at the old
mans face.
81 did not. by II o'clock ! made fast
for the night, with Mr.. Argyle sittin' here
ana Miss Mary in her chamber. And how
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
MORE NUTRITIOUS FOOD AT
A LOWER PRICE

Most people eat too much meat,
1t is the one big item in our high
cost of living We go to this meat
excess under the mistaken belief
that it is necessary to nouriSh
our bodies.
You can Get food more nutri-
tiouS at one-tenth the cost by
buying Faust Macaroni.
Faust Macaroni is made from
Durum Wheat, the cereal ex-
tremely rich in gluten, the bone.
muscle and flesh builder A Zoe
package of Faust Macaroni con
tainS as much nutrition as 1 lbs.
of beef-aSk your doctor.
Write today for free recipe
book, In Sc and 1Oc packages.
MAULL BROS.
ST. Louis, Mo.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

way you found it that morning"
But it was the old butler who did it,
Andy followed him about in apparent will
lingness to help, but the atmosphere of
the room seemed to have a benumbins
effect on his muscles.
Finley solemnly, with many pauses for
reflection. moved the chairs out of the mil
itary order and pushed them about the
floor, overturning one near the table An
dy zealously avoided that particular spot
"They were all wheeled about every
which way" the butler explained. as he
finished his task. 'Nothin' was as it
should be. He made a hard fight to de-
fend himself-God help us!-before they
put him to death"
Kayton nodded abstractedly. He was
studying the new arrangement of the
chairs
Where was the body-there?" he in
dicated spot between the table and the
overturned chair.
1T was" declared Finley. Am the
pistol yonder' He indicated a spot at a
considerable distance from the chair
Lying on his back?" went on Kayton
reflectively
Continued In Next Issue.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

Compound and | purchased a bottle.
Before it was gone the bloating left me
and was not SO sore. continued TAX
ing it until had taken twelve bottles.
Now ! am stronger than | have been for
years and can do all my work, even the
washing. Your medicine is worth its
weight in gold. | cannot praise it
enough. If more women would take
your medicine there would be more
healthy women. You may use this let
ter for the good of others. +" Mrs. D.
H. Brown, 809 N. Walnut ST., ola, Kan.
Change of Life is one Of the most
critical periods of woman's existence.
Women everywhere should remember
that there is no other remedy known to
so successfully carry women through
this trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham
Vegetable Compound.
II you want special advice write to
Lydia +. Pinkham Medicine Co. conf
Dental Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered hy a
\. hRman and held in strict confidence.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

they got in that did this that's the thing
for YOU to learn, sir! But-when they
done 1t they went out that door, for l
found the small chain off and the bolt
drawn in the morning And let me tell
you this, sir,' went on Finley, his indig-
nation rising again. There's nothin' but
wickedness in this doubt O. Miss Mary!
There's things in nature and things that
are not-Andy, come in here"
a tall shambling young man, with a
highly nervous manner clad in the blue
denim of the workman, who had appeared
at the hall door while Finley was talk
ing, shuffled reluctantly forward in
obedience to the command smoothing
down his stringy black hair with both
hands as he advanced Kayton glanced
at him, but continued to address the but
Ter.
Did Andy come first to you?"
He did nodded Finley. And 1t was
me that reused Miss Mary When we
found he was dead she got Mr.. Bruce and
the doctors here straight away. and they
got the police, and from that it began
trouble without end, Reporters besiegin
US and no man above suspiCion-and SLAM
ders in the papers on all of us-with pho
tygraphs of this and that, and pictures
out of their own fancy! And the public
IN its lnnoCcnCy perverted"
Did YOU hear anything in the night"
kayton broke in abruptly, addressing the
newcomer ANDY" gazed apprchensively
about the room and shook his head.
Trust him 70 hear anything" put in
Finley
What time did you go to bed?" went
on kaytOn
Andy tidgeted and looked appealingy
at his master
He don't know. sir" Finley explained
He don't live by the clock. He goes to
bed by habit and gets up by habit"
kayton shrugged his shoulders slightly
and turned to the old butler again. Sup
pose you two arrange this furniture the
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
Famous Pint of Cough
Jyrup" Receipt
No Better Remedy at ANY Price.
Fully Guaranteed.

Make a plain syrup by mixing one
pint OF granulated sugar and p pint of
warm water and stir for two minutes.
Put 212 ounces of pure Pinex (fiftv
cents worthJ in pint bottle and iii It
up with the Sugar Syrup. This gives
you a family supply of the best cough
syrup at saving of 81. 1t never spoiIs.
lake a teaspoonful every one, two or
three hours.
The effectiveness of this simple remedy
is surprising. 1t seems to take hold in.
stantly, and will usually stop the most
obstinate cough in "a hours. 1t tones
up the jaded appetite and is lust Lava.
tive enough to be helpful in a couon.
and has pleasing taste. Also excellent
Tor bronchial trouble, throat tickle. sore
lungs and asthma, and an unequaled
remedy for whooping cough and Group.
This recipe for making cough remedy
with PineX and Sugar Syrup tor
strained honey is a prime favorite in
thousands of homes in the United States
and Canada. The plan has been imita-
ted, though never successfully. If YOU
Try 1t, use only genuine Pinex, which is
the most valuable concentrated COM
pound Of Norway white pine extract, and
IS rich in guaiacol and all the natural
Iheallng pine elements. Other prepara.
Hons VIII not work in this reciue.
A guaranty of absolute satisfaction
or. money promptly refunded. goes with
this recipe. Your druggist has Pinex.
or will get it for YOU. If not. send to
Inc PlneX Co., TT. Wayne, Ind.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

tween his hands that that heart is
never quite the same again.
So every little while he's up afore
the judge on the charge of CRU
ELTY."
He's an old offender and since
my lady judge has taken up suf-
frage and gone out into the world
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
Daysey Mayme
and Her olks
By FRANCES /. GARSIDE.
THE KIN ssIoNER GENER-
AL SITS.
impending change from a Re

TIME impending change from Re
publican to a Democratic admins
tration may cause the Honorable
Lysander John Appleton Kin Commis-
sioner General Of the United States, to
lose his official head
TT behooves me" he said, chewing a
point to a lead pencil Ito show my in
estimable value to the nation by get
ting busy"
Then, on the backs Of tradesmen's
letters and duns, the kind Of station
cry that is usually found in the pockets
of married man, he handed down the
following decisions to his kin-ridden
constituency:
1T is much more important these
days to have an old mahogany table
that belonged to grandmother than to
have the grandmother"
"some one asks what is meant by
the term immediate relatives 1t
means the relatives who are in good
circumstances. Poor kin are not class
ed as immediate. even at funerals"
"No man is the ideal husband in the
strict sense of the term unless in build
ing aircastles he provides room for all
his wife's kin"
"As the Jurisdiction of the Kin Com
missioner General does not extend to
the next world, he can not decide which
Of the wives waiting for man at
heavens gate has legal right to him,
but is inclined to think it is the last.
as She was the latest IN possession"
The term gathered to his fathers
does not necessarily imply that man
has entered heaven. From what learn
from the women gathered to his moth
ers means the celestial abode, while his
fathers have gone somewhere else"
Poor kin are like the sins Of our
fathers. We inherit them from genera
tion to generation"
1T makes no difference if a man is
rich or poor, his kin have occasion to
quarrel over him. If he is poor who is
to support him, and if he is rich, who
is to get his money!"
Those who think a woman has no
decided opinions have not asked her
about her husbands relatives"
II quite approve of the family group
photograph as a compliment to the fam
lily tie, always asking charity for the
photographer when looking at the re-
suit"
Regarding the limitation Of kinship
at family reunions / refer my coustit-
uency to the precedent established at
the first family reunion in history.
Genesis, 7:77; And Noah and his sons
and his wife and his sons wives went
into the ark There was no attempt
made to save the sisters, the cousins
and the aunts."
II your brother has lost his money.
take your wife and all your children
with YOU when you go to make a long
visit while comforting him"
This department has no sympathy
for the person who mourns that ne is
without a relative. | would again re-
mind such persons that kin are as easy
10 accumulate as empty tomato cans"
1T is customary, though not arbi-
trary, for a girl to make fun Of her
kin to her sweetheart. and a few years
later to make fun of his kin to her hus
band"
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

fore took your med
icine / could not
bear the weight of
my clothes and was
bloated very badly.
Idoctored with three
doctors but they did
me no good. They
said nature m u S t
have its way. My
sister advised me to
take Lydia E. Pink
5 Vegeta bl e
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

to broaden her mind, will she be
La Belle Dame Sans Merci' to the
"OLD OFFENDER ."
Can he play upon her heart with
piteous, dewy eyes, and wet, red
mouth, and a crystal tear a-shak-
ing on his chin, as he has always
upon the tender hearts of old-fash-
ioned maids?
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
cured terrible
hurnOr on face

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. s, 1912.
"In December 1908, my face be-
came sore. / tried everything
that was recommended, and my face
got worse instead of better. spent
over 500 and got no benefit The
face and nose were very red and the
eruption had the appearance Of small
boils, which itched me terribly. /
cannot tell you how terrible my face
looked all / can say is, it was dread
full, and l suffered beyond description.
"ThGUe not gone on the street any
time since 1908 scithout O VeiL, alntil
no,V. Just four months ago a friend
persuaded me to give Resinol trial.
l have used three cakes of Resinol
Soap and less than a jar of Resinol
Ointment, and my face is perfectly
free from any eruption, and my skin
is as clear and clean as any child's.
1t is about four weeks since the last
pimple disappeared" (Signed) Mrs.
M. J. Bateman, 4256 Viola Street.
For over eighteen years Resinol has
been a doctors prescription and house
hold remedy for skin troubles. pimples.
burns, sores, piles, etc. Resinol Oint-
ment and Resinoi Soap sold by all drug
gists. For sample of each, write to Dept.
12-T. Resinol Chem. Co., Baltimore, Nd.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
YOU ALONE MUST DECIDE

Dear Miss Fairfax:
| am 25 and in love with a gen.
tleman of the same age. He wishes
to marry me, but, being of differ
ent religion, l do not know what n
do He is Catholic and | Protes-
tant. Should l turn with him or
ne turn with me? NJ. f. c.
That is a question you and YOU srono
must decide. However, as her church
means more to a woman than to q
man. it is the customary thing for the
man to yield. But, as | said. that is
for you to decide.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

TE'S a little bit o. pink boy
with an itch in his pink
palm to be getting it about
the free heart of some one all the
time. And then he, meaning to be
KIND all the time, as kiddies do
When they try to hug a baby chick
en- 10 death, presses it so tight be
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21

Will the jury be as kind to him,
now that they are so very clever?
He certainly is always deep in
crime, this little boy, this old man,
this angel-but ones heart almost
melts away like butter when he
pleads his case.
NELL BRINKLFY.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
Advice to the
Lovelorn
BY BEATRICE FAIRFAX
HE LOVES HIMSELF MORE

Dear Miss Fairfax:
I have been keeping common,
with a young man of q for the last
six months, and it's nothing brt
quarreling every other night. Do
you think if he loves me he woul5
do that? BROKENHEARTFD
He loves his own opinions. his ou.,
way and his own perfect self more tbar
he loves you
Don't, l beg of you, accept attention.
from a man so selfish. There is moth.
ing but misery ahead for you if Won do
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
E r., n Nv n ~

Written from the play OF the same name,
now being produced by Robert Hill
Hard at the Criterion theater.
New York city.
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
and will the jury be as
You
Often Want

quick relief from biliousness-from
its headaches. its sour stomach,
hiccoughs, fatulence, unpleasant
breath and the general feeling of
good-for-nothingness it causes.
Thousands-through three gener-
ations and the wide world over
have found, as you will find, that
Atlanta Georgian., 1913-01-21
HOW MRS. BROWN
SUFFERED
During Change of Life-How
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound Made
Her a Well Woman.

lola, Kansas. -" During the Change
of Life | was sick for two years. Be
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1913-09-12
Nelson is still patching.

The 1th was the opening of the hunt
ing season which brot out quite few
hunters to the Cedar. Many coming
from a distance. some from surround.
ing towns. came in automobiles.
Colbjorn Erickson left for Miles
City last week at which place he in
tends attending high school
A. H. Dokken called at the home of
{. F. kroneman Monday afternoon.
number from this vicinity intend
taking in the fair at Haynes the latter
part of this week
Olaf Steinvaag made a business
trip to Petrol Saturday.
Cupid IS busy again, At least that
is what the moonlight spirits whisper
ed To each other at the Northwestern
ranch when Erick drove up. Neverthe-
less the young fellow needed not the
secret lurkings os those beings, but
made his deslrous capture and return
ed with the prize. So intensely happv
was the three days wooing. that all
the friends In Cupid realm assemh-
ed to climax the joyful fete.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1913-09-12
Cook Locals

Recent rains have cooled the at.
| mosphere.
Mrs. .. T. Roed and children droy.
over to the Chandler neighborhooG
Thursday and made a call at the
Bake home.
Earl Hendrickson is up from his
claIm, south of Thunderhawk. Earl
Is already thru threshing and is now
10 the vicinity To help boost the fan
work.
I. +. hroneman made a business
cail on Andrew Aalberg Thursday.
A pleasant shower of rain fa)ling i,
this vicinity Sept. 5th was very wei.
come.
le" OF our farmers have already
began fall blowing but find it quite
dry.
Martin Roed is suffering with i,
game leg and says he cannot oct
around very handy.
''' ? 'ii' ii'S INdIlIil does not
have thrifty soil? R,e soued q,
The ranch a week ago is up two inches
above the ground.
When MIR. and Mrs. j. Ostenbe,g
returned from Lennon SATURDAY Il
rained.
r. \. Finch and family auto.d ON,
from Lemmon Sunday afternoon and
made few friendly calls in our vie.
unity.
Oscar Roed delivered a vouny hair.
er to the Chandler market Monday
X. X. Eldred was SUNDAY caller
at The home of .. T. Roeti
We understand that thnndl,r /.
boosting or n creamery. rh,rs
right, fellow farmers, push IL nlo,,
'N
:. r. hroncmnn spout SUNDAY M
Long View Farm IN The iriv. l,nin,s
neig eighhorhood
Oscar Roed called RECENTLY nj y,l.
ley Farm.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1913-09-12
A Sure Enough Winner

Is the popular Sherman-Smith
Stock Co., who opens a week s
engagement at the Armory Op-
era House beginning Tuesday
evening, September 18th.
The company numbers twelve
people, each and every member
an artist of the first water and
they produce an up-to-date line
of plays, introducing the latest
cabaret numbers, feature vaude-
vile specialties and novelty
oddities, and all for the
one price of admission, thus Civ
ing the theatre going public
their moneys worth and then