Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1913-05-22
WANTED A REAL General
Didn't Like 10 SEQ Ills Fortune GO 10
Waste So Quick Took Mack
for IA Pecan.

Police Ohicer Charles Mcdonald
took hasly survey Of his new found
acquaintance.
The stranger repeated his question.
II say, old chap. you don't know
exactly who ] am do you?"
Well" replied the Bertillon eX-
pert. slowly. Il cant say that have
ever heard OF you, but Of course
haven't received the latest copy OF
tho Detective yet Your mug may
be In there"
Here the officer was interrupted
The aiIabe stranger edged up close TO
him and whispered mysteriously In
his ear Then the two We're seen TO
duck around the corner and into the
alley back OF the First National Bank
building once there, they looked
cautiously about them and, apparent
ly satisfied that no one was listening,
they continued their conversation
Il am the man who invented
opium" explained the stranger as he
,traightened up TO his fun height and
looked square into Mack's eyes, to
see what effect the startling state
ment had upon him.
DO tell" returned the bluccoat in
fcisned surprise, tell ne all about IT,"
Wen, you see, about two thous-
ana years ago | iyed in China"
Say wait minute interposed
| Mcdonald, as he sharply looked the
| Important individual over, how
long ago did YOU sav?'
Three thousand years ago.
That's an right, heard YOU the
/ first time. Proceed"
AS ! was saying" continued the
relic Of prehistoric times, u was liv-
/ ing over in China about five thousand
years ago. decided that the people
| OF that country had 10 have some
thing 90 SMOKE SO / invented opium.
They took to it right off, and pretty
soon everyone was smoking IT, I made
"a lot Of money YOU see,, because con
trolled the patent on the Opium.
Then they introduced the joy smoke
/ into the United States before | could
get my patent filed over here. They've
cheated me out of lot of money
since then, but l don't care for I've
made over soycnty-twO and half
billion dollars oh, I've plenty Of
money Ina so wealthy that | could
buy all the policemen of Tulsa uni
forms Of solid gold and decorate them
with hundred dollar gold pieces, and
my treasury wouldn't know the DIFF
Listen, old man. calculated Mack,
you don't smoke hop yourself do
you
oh no; oh, no. responded the
man OF great wealth, Il cant use 1t
any more used To smoke it and it
made me have pipe dreams, so l had
10 cut it out"
"Well, where do | get on att"
queried the nervous Yodetite.
That's just it, that's just it," re-
torted the poppy-dust patentee. you
cops are always waning your bit I'm
going to tell you right now what |
want II won't take me very long,
| either.
You probably know that the new
| administration in China has decided
that opium smoking has got to stop
They're destroying all the opium in
! sight ana putting people in jail for
smoking IT, Now, I've got to put a
stop to that kind OF thing, or else I'll
cu broke in a couple of thousand
years from now SO I left Peking
yesterday morning and blew over to
Tulsa I've always heard about YOU
and that's the reason 7 came here.
I'm organizing an army to eXtermin-
ate the opiumites over in my
country That's all risht; don't get
excited. YOU won't have to do any
lighting. i've invented new kind Of
gun l call it the Yak Hen. It's the
same as Yen Hak, only its different
This gun looks like lead pencil It's
dlled with Oo2hkow, another inven-
ton of mine All you have to do is to
fro load cf Oozhkow at an army
OF Chinese soldiers and they'll all dry
uu and blow away That eliminates
all possibilities Of us leaving any
clues Oo1hkow In Chinese, means
llowed up See?
"NoW, / have got an army of six
brave men. | want you to I've the gen
eral Of them II will be known as
the Army of the Oo1hkow. I'll give
YOU a million dollars to work for me
one week BY that time Wen have
AN the opium eNterminators reduced
to atmosphere VIII you take the
'ob?"
when do we leave" asked the
astonlshed officer
In i've minutes. III put YOU IN
one Of my compressed conyeyers It's
only as nIg ae a needle and runs by
ciockVork I'll have you in Hons
Eoug in two minutes
Say. PAL said officer Mcdonald
you don't want me. amt game
enough for that Job. | know where
YOU can get a good man for general,
though Just crawl into that needle
train of yours and take trip down
To- Norman You'll get a royal wei
come there
The man from China proved to be
j. G. McAnerty ~ Kansas City lie Is
dumented and escaped from private
sanltarium officer Mcdonald held
him until relatives arrived to take
him back to Kansas CITY
- sure must look like a human
pecan muscd the policeman in tell
Ing of his escapade last night.
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