Evening star., 1913-04-13
DEMOCRATIC MEAT
EN)OYEDBY DINERS
At GR|D|RON FEAST
President Wilson and Men,
bers of His Cabinet Are
Served as Roast.
NO ONE is BLISTERED;
VICTIMS ENJOY REPAST
Gridiron Cooks Show Impartiality
by Making Savory Dish of the
New Administration
KING OF WRECKERS FOILED
Good Ship T. Jefferson Platform Gets
Into Port, But Oficeseekers Are
Her Only Cargo and She Is
Ordered Scuttled.
NO ONE is BLlSTERED;
VICTIMS ENJOY REPAST
KING OF WRECKERS FOILED

Ordered Scuttled.
1t was democratic meat sizzling over
the Goals at the Gridiron Clubs dinner
last night for the most part, although
there was some warming over of re-
publicans as we'll. OF course, fitch
of IT. r. bacon had TO be
taken from the rafters of the smokehouse
and served up. too. The Gridiron adopts
showed themselves as handy with bast-
ing spoon and turn spit for the new ad-
ministration they were after lons
practice with the former regime.
But nobody was blistered, at that; the
lurid flames that glow under the grid
iron are but property fires, after all,
and leave no scars. After gasp or two
of surprise the victims find they are not
hurt and most of them are willing to
submit themselves to subsequent griling
under like circumstances
Beautiful Floral Decorations.
The banquet hall of the New Willard
never looked lovelier than last night. The
floral decorations, always conspicuously
artistic and abundant at Grfdiroh feasts.
seemed to envelop and infold the COM
pany. A profusion of magnificent Amer
lean beauty roses banked the central
well and bloomed at .every table. while
spring flowers shed their Sagrance every
the caves
President Wilson and his cabinet. diplo-
mats, congressman and distinguished men
from this and other towns comprised a
notable list of guests. The Marine Band
played them into the dining room after
the dooHs were thrown open to the sound
OF the old dinner bell. .s..-s5.
Tnh esrfdfr6Is Quartet sang a song
Inning of good cheer. Rudolph Kauff
ruann, president of the club. welcomed
The guests felicitously and the evening
CT jollity was commenced
T. B. After a Plum.
Memories of "T. r." like Banquo's S
f;}ost. will not down. though this simile
t.ces not intimate skeleton at the feast,
fr- upon this occasion the resLscitation
aided to the merriment. Roosevelt, made
Up as a newsboy, was discovered dicker-
ing with two fruit venders who had es-
tabiished their stands in the hall. One
stand was presided over by an ancient
dame, the conventional Miss Democracy,
in hoopskirt and poke bonnet, who pLr-
yeyed tariff pluns, conservation lemons
and nomination peaches.
A stout person with plutocratic side
Thiskers-why the 'plute is always de-
picted with white mutton-chops and a
double chin is a secret of the car
toonists-presided over the republican
stand. So that there could be no mis-
take. however, this figure was conspicu-
otsly tagged as THE Interests. Roose-
veit was trying TO hang him up for a
nomination peach until he had sold his
papers.
.'G'wan'' snorted the stuffy person.
You never paid me for the plum YOU
got in 1904"
Customers who apnroached the repuh.
lican stand were shrilly warned away
by Roosevelt Don't buy off'n him. he
is crook: he's receiver of stolen
goods; he is an undesirable citizen" he
cried. The customers patronized the
democratic stand. which was quickly de-
nIded of its contents, and Miss Democ-
racy departed joyfully jinglns her coin.
An excited person eXpostuiated with
The Interests" over his neglect of bus
mess. pointing out that the rival stand
had sold out Lighting big fat cigar
with broad gold band, The Interests
puffed away nonchalantly and grunted:
That's all right; own both stands"
Initiates Interview Guests.
Two recently elected members of the
club Robert III. Patchin of the New
York Herald and Thomas F. Logan of
the Philadelphia Inquirer were presented
for imitation and the committee I'm
charge proceeded TO examine the candi-
as newspaper men. They were asked in
turn several preliminary questions.
is the democratic party mentioned any
where in Scripture?''
Yes; in the Book of Psalms. The wild
asses did stand in high places: they
snuffed up the wind like dragons: their
eyes did fail, because there was no
grass.
Are the progressves mentioned?''
Yes. in the Book of Hosea: They are
all not as an oven. and have devoured
their judges. They have sown the wind
and they shall reap the whiriwind
rs there any mention of the republican
party in the Bible?"
Not in the old-fashioned Bible
Where them?
I'm the Revised Version prepared by
DIR. Roosevelt the Psalmist says: The
wrath OF the people came upon them
and slew the fattest of them .
The candidates We're then given as
siSnments to Interview several of the
notable guests present and were uues-
TONED as TO their success.
Have you interviewed the Secretar,
OF War;
Yes, sir
What does ne say?'
He denies it,"
Denies what?'
That's what / asked him
What did he answer"
He said il didn't make any difference
what: 1t was the immemorial custom o,
the War Department to deny every.
thing.
Sixteen to One, Says Bryan.
Have you interviewed Secretary
Bryan
les, Sir; l asked him what he thought
about WILSON,
What did he answer
He inquired which Wilson | meant
nope you told him YOU meant Presi-
dent Wilson,
Il did ] asked him whether he thought
President Wilson would succeed
What did he say To that
nc wanted TO know whether | mean,
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