River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1913-10-23
Continued from October 16)
LEAF eleventh.

a Heart OF Gold.
f91YNF there is a contagious thing
NH i in this world it is embarrass-
2%%s%AF ment never felt anything
s2SYSS worse in all my life than
the shame that swept over me in a
great hot wave when that look came
into his eyes and made me realize just
exactly what | had been saying to him.
about what, and how had said it. |
stood perfectly still, shook all over like
a leaf and wondered if would ever be
A dizzy, nauseated feeling for myself
rose up in me against myself, and |
was just about to turn on my heels and
Ieave him, | hoped forever. when he
came over and laid his hand on my
shoulder.
Molly" he said in a voice that might
have come down from heaven on dove
wings, you can't for moment feel or
think that | don't realize and appre-
riate what you have been to the moth
arless little chap, and for life / am
yours at command, as he is. | really
thought it would be a relief to you to
have him taken away from you for just
Il little while right now. and still
think it is best, but not unless you con
sent You shall have him back when
ever you are ready for him, and at all
times both he and are at your service
to the whole of our Kingdoms. Just
think the matter over won't you, and
Il 11o4 MT TO do
Something in me died forever
think. when he spoke to me like that.
He's not like other men. and there
aren't any other men on earth but him!
All the rest are just bugs or bats or
something worse. And I'm not any
thing myself There's no excuse for
my living. and | wish | wasn't so
healthy and likely to go on doing it.
1t was all over. and there was nothing
left for me to live for. and before
could stop myself I buried my face IN
my hands.
BILLY asked me to go with him on
this awful whale huntr' l sobbed out
to comfort myself with the thought
that somebody did care for me. regard
less of just how | was further embar-
RAISING and complicating myself in the
affairs of the two men | had thought
| owned and was now finding out that
had to give up. | wish | had been
looking at him. for l felt him start,
but he said in his big friendly voice
that is so much-and never enough for
me-
We'll, why not you and al come
along and make it a family party. if
that is what suits Bill, the boss?''
If men would just buy good. sharp
kitchen knives and cut out womens
hearts in businesslike way it would
be so much kinder of them. Why do
they prefer to use dull weapons that
mash the life out slowly? Everything
is at an end for me tonight, and that
blow did it. It was a horrible cruel
thing for him to say to me! | know
now that have been in love with John
Moore for longer than my honor lets
ne admit and that I'll never love any
body else, and that also l have offered
myself to him served up in every
known enticement and have to be re-
fused at least twice a day. for a year.
A widow can't say she didn't under
stand what she was doing, even to her
self. but-my humiliation is complete,
and the only thing that can make me
ever hold up my head is to puzzle him
by-by happily marrying Alfred Ben
nett-and quick!
OF course he must suspect how feel
about him, for two people couldn't both
be so ignorant as not to see such an
enormous thing as my love for him is,
and l was the blind one. But he must
never. never know that ever realized
it. for he is so good that it would dis
tress him. l must go on in my foolish
way with him until | can get away.
I'll tell him I'm sorry | was so indig
nant tonight and say that | think it
will be fine for him to take my Billy
away from me with him. / must smile
at the idea of having my very soul am
putated. insist that it is thR ONLY thing