New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-12-02
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


to another the waiter upon opening a bottle OF wine
generally pours a little into the glass of the host
and then proceeds to iii the other mans glass to
the top? II you asked the waiter why he did that
he probably would be unable to tell YOU but
matter of fact 1t is survival OF feudal days, when
life was held somewhat more lightly than to-day
1t is intended to give the host an opportunity OF
taking the first taste Of the wine in order to assure
his guest that it is not poisoned"
Dolly-Mean thing, You said you wouldn't give
away that | told you!
Daisy didn't. I snapped it for another secret
and ice cream soda.-Chicago News.
THE OLDTIMER's LAMENT.
Alas. where the good old times,
The days OF clean. il tiresomc. books;
No motor horns. but seighbell chimes,
When mother" was the best Of cooks.
Whene'cr our dazzed eyelids lift
What bcwildering days these,
And in this time Of progress swift
How strange the metamorphoses,
We fare beneath the solid ground
We aoft pnions wide
We fash thoughts the world around.
And no waits for time or tide.
OH woman still uncertain thou,
Harder to please than ever yet
When pain and anguish wiring the brow
stern, relentless Sunragottc,
The grasping poor Cypress the rich
The Labor Trust rules land and sea.
Dishonest oft the measures which
Are praised the best policy.
Alas. where the good old times
When right was right. and wrong was wrong
Seek them to-day in nursery rhymes
Our dusty tome. Of ancient song.
W BA
h.i
ought to go in for the uplift, don't you think"
Il s'pose so. What Office do you want?'-Pitts-
burgh Post
John Drew tho actor, told the following story at
the Players Club: a young married couple were
moving from her mothers to a coscy apartment
three blocks away. The bride said to her husband:
John. dear. | simply cannot trust the van men TO
carry grandfathers clock. You will carry ii for me
won't you?" John demurred. but consented finally
The day hot. When John reached the first
corner he found he being followed by a man. 1t
rrtated him. but he kept on the perspration trick
ling down his checks the sixfoot clock held tightly
between his The was watching
John at the next corner.
"Why are you following me?" yelled John. Why
said the stranger, I'm trying to figure why you
don't carry watch instead"
Employer-Yes advertised for a strong boy. Do
you think you fill the bill?
Applicant-Wel, ! just finished lickn' fourteen
other fellers that waitn' out in de hall-Bos-
ton Transcript
A mother reproving her daughter for her fond
ness for tango teas, musical comedies and diapn-
anous gowns. why, my dear" she said. II do not
know what the girls Of this generation coming
TO- When | was your age never thought Of doing
the things you do"
Yes mother her daughter replied, that is just
It. Human nature hasn't changed lot since then
and guess If you had thought Of them you surely
would have done them"
gentleman who had been spending holiday at
n Scottish seaside village noted for its golf links
asked one Of the caddies II he got much carrying in
the winter time.
Nae. sir nae" replied the caddie. There's nae
carrying in the winter time. Ye see. IT'S this way
IL it's sna It's frost; If It's frost it's sna': IL
It's neither sna nor frost, it's rain: If it's no ain
It's wind an II its fine day. it's the Sawbathr'-
Tit-Bits.