The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-08-03
BY WELLINGTON vANDIvER


of these here voylent proceedins. which
they was mighty near the point of weepin
over. The old silver headed Preacher
kinder sobbed when he talked about Bad
Bills doins, and he begged me to help
the decent folks to restore order, some
how
Says he. MY brother, know you amt
believer, but YOU are u law-abidin man,
and the Lawd has blessed you with a
large amount of muscle, and some grit,
and you ort TO Use 1t in putin down this
ungodly Bad Bill Johnson and his gang
especially as that purity little Sallie Ward
is 'tendin this meeting. and mighty nigh
the pint of gettn' religgun, though I
must say that she is almighty nigh good
enough to go to heaven without much
more grace
"Je-e-emes Rivers! When he put in that
curley-cue about my girl | felt my col
| lar a gettin tight. and / sweled up like
a toad. ! told him and the committee
that the cuttin up of that bunch Of in
toxicated malignants had been chafing
! me for some time previous. and that l
would try to hold out some inducement
to them sots to make en- cease MAIN
tainin' their devilment.
Got His Credentials Ready
After thinking over the situation I
sorter got my credentials ready by bor-
rowing Frank Bowie's double-barreled
] Greener shotgun, which the same had a
bore like a wash pot and she chambered
u buckshot in each barrel.
Before the meetin' was to begin I
sauntered over to the loafing place of
these miscreants, and mildly expostulat
ed with them on their wild west conduct
-suggestin that there here was Alabama
where law and order, good manners, and
decency had sorter settled down as a per-
manent neighbor, and that folks had a
right to worship God without being
peeved But Bad Bill and his outfit don't
listen to no remonstrances, only they gifts
hot and wrought up and begins to chew
the rag. Bill allowed it was free coun-
try, and If the camp meet folks didn't
like his style of amusing himself they
could just pack up and novel
Bad BILL says I, You and your low
down gang of malignant drunkards are
getting too redundant-you are consid-
cred by the law-abidin' element in this
here neck of the woods plumb inor-
dinate, and ii you don't sag down a few
notches we will have to bury you. | am
just handin' it to you, polite and delicate,
that If you pervade around these gos-
pei ercises with a few more of your law
less breaks. we will tote pou out feet
foremost in pine box. With these few
parliamentary remarks [ leave the sub
ject with you"
That very night. while they was call
ing up mourners under the brush arbor
Bad Bill and two of his bum podners
surged i'm at the entrance. mounted on
their nags-more than half drunk. He
give a whoop and announced that he was
intendin' to ride in among the mourners
and have his hoss prayed for. He was
spurrin' his pony, waving his pistol, like
wise laughing at suitable intervals, so
that few nervous women sorter screech-
ed and chillun begun to cry.
Grabbed the Shotgun
Sallie Ward looked at me with a flash
in her eye that put me in mind of chain
lightning. and I grabbed that old Green
er shotgun. from where 1t was laying
handy, and damned loose over the head
of a fat lady at the whole outfit, result
Ing in winging two of them felons, who
turned tail, and burnt the wind getting
away from there.
Before you could say scat I had
onbreeched the 10 gauge shotgun
showed in two more cartridges and on
hooded both barrels at Bad Bill as he
took snap shot at me with his Colts
A. Them old Greener shotguns is
mighty satisfyin' weepons-you may
not git exactly what you send 'em ar
ter, but they always fetch somethin'.
and l had aimed to bust Bad Bill
where he looked the biggest, but In
the hurry of trying to keep from steb-
at the same instinct l sorter wobbled
in my aim and was awfully ashamed
of myself when / found that l had
done nothin' more than lodging 10
buckshot in his right shoulder. 1t
wasn't the fault of the gun but none
of us can shoot worth hardly when
there is a half dozen kids underfoot
hope none of you boys will make
fun of me about that shot, as I have
always been terribly mortified over it.
think maybe, | would have done a
leetle grain better If the preacher
hadn't been in the way--he was right
in the line of my shot.
That outcast Bad Bill tumbled off
his horse like a sack of corn and I
was on top of him by the time he hit
the ground. l yanked his pistol out
of his hand, jerlled him to his feet and
steppin' back / levelled the old To-
gauge full in his face and says to him.
Down on His Knees
Now, march up to that mourners'
bench and bunker down on your knees
and git converted or I'll blow a hole
enough to throw a dog through He
seen | meant 1t and he dragged him
self along up to the anxious seat and
sorter fell down there, bleedin' and
lookin mean. The parson started that
old hymn, Come, Humble Sinner In
Whose Breast. and after awhile
few of the leadin' members gathered
around him, and they stayed there
prayin and singing over Bad Bill un-
til half past o'clock. They wrastled
in prayer and dosed Bad Bill with ev-
cry kind of spiritual medicine known