Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1913-09-30
A Partnership or a
PrOprietOrship
By Virginia T. Van de Water.

~ AAAo - NoA 0O " OWL
n ERHAPS the answer to the
above question would settle
many a matter of marital mis-
cry. Are not our ideas Of marriage
often wrong from the start?
Men and women are taught from
childhood that, in marrying, a man
gives himself to a woman and a wom-
an gives herself to a man wholly and
entirely. body and spirit. The idea
may be a beautiful one-perhaps-
but is it a Hvable one? Is not such
a principle one of proprietorship
rather than of partnership? And
do any of us enjoy giving what we
are bound by law to give?
/ am not advocating lax marriage
standards. Heaven forbid! Unless
people are willing to forsake others
and to cleave unto each other as long
as they both do live, they should
eschew the welded state. But in
promising to live together in honor,
to care for each other, to share their
worldly goods-do they promise to
relinquish all individuality, to part
with the secrets of the soul, to have
no reverses? If so, they may as we'll
make up their minds that each must
lose all personality, all of the sweet
ness Of solitary communion, all of the
things which, though unseen, are
eternal, and are as much the divine
right of each person as Is his own
soul. There are things that are be-
tween man and his God-and such
things marriage can not give or take
away.
Man Born Singly.
Yet, such are the distorted views
al nv I..N
lieve that when a woman marries a
man she must know all that he
knows, and do only that of which he
approves. Some women have a no.
ton that unless husband loves that
which the wife loves and approves
of that of which she approves, mar
riage can not be a success. And, as
man was not born in pairs, but sin
gly, such a merging of self in the
person of another is contrary to ma
ture and can hardly be according to
any law of the Creator.
Il could not be happy IL felt that
my wife kept any emotion or opinion
from me" said a fatuous bridegroom.
Il want to feel that we are absolute
ly one"
His speech reminded me of a re-
mark made by celebrated clergy
man to young man who was talking
to him of matters of faith and re-
ligion.
you see, DR., Blank" said the
young skeptic, Il simply will not be-
lieve anything that l can not under
stand and grasp perfectly with my
intellect"
Then. sir" retorted the divine,
your belief will be the most meager
and restricted Of that of any man of
my acquaintance"
Surely, If one were capable of tell
ing OF every opinion and emotion, one
must have few to tell!
The Tight Rein.
And, after all, why must the wife
give an account of herself to the man
she loves? Why thus burden him,
bore him and stultify herself? And.
on the other hand, why must a man
share all that he knows with his
wife? If marriage is a partnership
such ideas are a mistake. They saw
or of proprietorship, not of partner
ship.
Il show all my letters to John"
says one woman, with self-righteous
pride.
John ought to be ashamed to read
them!" retorted her brother They
were not meant for him."
Another wife says that she could
not forgive her husband If he went
out to luncheon with a friend and did
not tell her" How little faith she
must have in the man Of her choice!
Is there such harm in eating with a
friend that one must confess It? III
the husband wishes to speak of the
fact, or If he mentions it as a mat
ter of cOurse-well and good. But
If he is trying to put through a deal
with his luncheon companion, and
prefers not to talk OF It until the mat
ter is settled, or indeed ever. why
need he go to the trouble Of saying
Il met John Smith downtown to-day,
and as / hope to do some business
with him. l asked him to lunch with
me"7
Could sane woman resent retl-
ccnce on subject of this kind?
What kept your husband in town
tonight" a friend asked one wife.
Business" was the reply.
Business in the EVENING"" asked
the other, surprised. What kind of
business could he be doing after
dark? Surely his office is closed at
night"
81 don't know" laughed the happy
and trustful wife. TT is his business.
not mine. and l take it for granted
he is quite capable of running It
dIOliS. Ilt NdS UelOIO ne IlldTIl6u
me-"
Possibility of Joy.
When there is such confidence as
this, marriage means happiness. /
know we all say things against matri-
mony, and there is so much that
may be said in truth that one who
calls attention to defects in the hope
that they may be corrected is. per
haps, doing humanity service. If It
we're not that the state is capable
Of something as near perfection as Is
POSSIBLE in this life It would not be
worth reforming. To those who on
Ter marriage loving each other, with
trust and confidence tina, are above
suspicion and jealousy, and with the
recognition of the fact that each
party to the contract is a human
being with a right to his and her in
dividuality, there is possibility Of a
peace and joy that all the cynics in
the world can not destroy
Why may not John KEEP his friends |
secrets to himself, and why should |
Mary read her chum's letters to john |
Why must the husband account for |
every one OF his waking hours and |