South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1913-09-23
BY II. l.. GOLDBERG.

VENICE, Italy. Sept 22.-At last
l have had q showdown. Not that 1
crossed the ocean to authenticate or
disprove anything that has been done
or said in The Merchant of Venice, -
the BarcarOlle in the Tales of Hoff-
man. or the Crazy Canal at COney
island. l came prepared for any emer-
gency. My flywheel has been perfect
ly oiled and running at full speed.
Nevertheless, the subconscious reg
lister of Odious comparisons is always
ready for an impression. One cannot
help, even during the widest spasm
Of ectacy in a foreign land, secretly
comparing the reality with the pre-
vious child of the imagination.
When you hear Of Paris you think
of wine. When you hear of Berlin
you think of beer. When you hear Of
Venice you think of water.
You are not disappointed when you
hit the city of relaxation and canals.
You may not imbibe the romantic at
mOsphere which has become identified
with all things Venetian. Romance is
purely personal. You can't blame it
on the scenery. You may carry it
with you and sprinkle it about accord
ing TO your own judgment.
But Venice certainly is partial to
water II is the last word in damp
ness. The only real walking done in
the picturesque Italian city is from
the bedroom to the bathtub. Old man
Weston would be very unhappy if he
lived here.
Let me take you along on a short
but personally conducted tour through
the town.
When l arrived in Venice / told the
porter to get me taXicab. He ex-
planned in broken English that he
didn't know what / meant but was
pretty sure the people in Venice
didn't serve taxicabs. They didn't
even know how 10 cook EN-. | then
asked for a horse or som ething to
take my baggage and me to the hotel.
Barnum Sent Last Horse.
He said the last horse that was
seen in Venice was sent over by p. T.
Barnum thirty years before, but had
died of loneliness after the local paper
had offered a prize of a sea-going
runabout to the first person who could
guess what it was.
Having won my confidence with his
frankness | linked my arm in his, told
him the story of Ruth and Naomi and
said, Whittier thou gOest, etc, etc"
He led me TO the edge of the water
and turned me over TO a man in red
sash and SLOUGH hat who was stand
ing in the rear of a long ralIigh-lOok-
ing affair that resembled & floating
hearse. The front was trimmed with
Z
be a cross between a butchers cleaver
and a crusaders battleaXe.
The man in the red sash dipped his
| long paddle into the water and we
moved out into the stream.
Ride In a GOndOla.
I was taking my first ride in real
gondola padded by real gOndolier.
1t was great. No taXimeters, no pune
lures, no traffic complications, no
broken-up pavements and no horri-
BILE noises from horns, automobile and
fish.
Everything was smooth. quiet and
! lovely. 1 could have remained in that
boat forever We circled through
archways, under bridges, up alleyways
and around corners. Every once in a
while the gondolier would make a
noise that sounded like a gargle or a
sneeze. l offered him some cough
drops. He refused TO take them and
/ thought maybe he imagined l was
trying 10 poison him.
Other Attempt.
I had come to see that any attempt
on the part of an American tourist TO
poison a foreign guide or servant was
| justified. The gondOlier probably had
had several previous attempts made
on his life.
I afterwards found out the gargling
noise was a traffic signal. In English
il means. Car coming"
I rode nearly an hour with half
| closed eyes drinking in the ancient
wonders of the watery city. I hardly
saw the glass and lace factories, the
! scenes heavily laden with celluloid
1 fruit glass furniture and wooden
| clothing. the beautiful old churches or
| the italian spaghetti orchards hidden
| behind the old houses. I was thinking
/ how much my tailor would have en-
| joyed f. He is so artistic.
| The ride lasted an hour. The
/ charge was two lire-forty cents.
gave the gondalier my card and invit-
| ed him 10 spend a year or two with
me as my guest If he ever came to
| America
After the gondolier who first takes
| you in hand has entwined himsel:
| about your heart and placed you on