New-York tribune., 1913-06-27
AS | WAS SAYING

Business is fine, thank you! Glorious things keep
happening in all quarters of the globe, and mere
glance at the foreign papers fills our MIND with
beautiful thoughts.
Oh oh what Joyous doings. Mr.. Cecil CHESTER
TONS trial has come off "at the old Galley. MI
,tcKenna is TO stay unlit after the Disestablish-
mont meeting" An Englishman wants to sell an
almost new motor car-ony drives a few miles
That hastv excitable fellow, Mr.. Sensuke Salto'
asks q divorce; wife disappeared in l9l" And tho
progressive Chinese are sitting up nights over car
lvle's Horses and Hero Worship
Splendid But this is not all We learn tha'
professor Sampson and his assistant were awak-
cned by a nose that they took to be door banging
while a concert advertisement promises "an or
chestra and dull chorus" and some dear, good Souls
ND Wonder in Winnipeg have issued the procIama-
ton ANY girl not having friends in the city VIII DO
well TO stay at the Y. NJ c. a." Verify, our cup run
meth
Go as far as YOU like sweet darngs Of the music
hall, Let mirth be unconined When sensational
marriages cease to startle the press, try sensational
funerals.
..It was splendid thing that Mrs stetson got out
Of the Mother Church" says a shrewd adherent OF
hers 1T was Mrs. Eddy's wish. The founder oi
Christian Science wanted her to develop spiritually
and mentally as she could not have done if she had
remained confined 10y the material organization anu
the board Of directors"
Uanpv thought, Next time We face that awful.
awful crisis in the kitchen We shall remember TINS
We shalt discard our usual formula, Now Bridget
old girl none o your lip" and employ the soft an
swer that turneth away rolling pins Bridget we
shall saw we want you TO develop spiritually ana
mentally. For the good Of your soul consider your
SELF fired"
once there was a Gay Guy who Trotted for a Sheet
and opened the Glad Ear TO Bright ones from Use
where Genius swehed within his Bean. 'Ha. ne
said the other Day. George Ade has Hit the
Burg Quick. an Interview! viii be DAINTY
Danny Myself and not Get Giddy with our Mother
Tongue will Let George DO It." But. being
High Priced Performer. George could not See II al
That Figure, so Talked Straight Indiana This was
q Sour. yellow one to the Gay Guy. who feels that
Providence has been After him Again.
Moral There is Little In 1t for the Interviewed.
Wonderful. tho discoveries achieve while herd
ing Infanticus, Patiently as had followed the
solemn newspaper discussion Of badness and It's
causes we were unable TO arrive at conclusion ILL.,
by a sudden and adrot movement. the little sinner
made the whole thing clear and long before he could
be induced TO let 60 gained genuine respect Tor
that discussion IN the papers. serious matter
badness. Unless these Of sabotage are rigor-
ouslv rcprcssed We shall be bald as old Dr. Ben
amin OCg and tTcmbc Tor our polltlCs
no doubt you have read Of DR. Ogg The great
man had absolutely no hair above his ears, and you
may imagine his tumult Of soul when he visited tho
side show and stood before the Circassan queen.
Removing his stoveppc to display that cleaning
pate Of his he said: Madam. just see how un-
evenly things are divided in this world! That's
what makes Socialists"
Joke The colonel has explained the object Of his
adventurous lecture tour All the way from PAN
ANA To cape Horn he will expound his policies, be-
nevng them exactly suited to South American re-
publcsl
Bring back the smart uniformsP cries MI X. H.
Moore. who describes himself picturesquey as "a
soldier boy Of long ago" We heartily applaud the
plea for smart uniforms. They will save the re-
cruiting Office liar a lot Of dirty work. The English
army tried abolshing the scarlet and substituting
khaki and. oh, the dearth of Tommes that re-
suited,
For Mr.. Atkins is a regular blood brother 10 the
soldier boy of long ago and close Of kin TO our mod
orn American recruits. In time hero, he is
dandy by nature in time Of peace, and knows that
for six weeks Of fighting there six years OF harm
less strutting. He would strut grandy, and brike
the ensembles cart X. l.. II.