davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Bouncing Arrival Was a Baby.

There was a stork party in Atchison
recently. and the husband was in the
room when his first baby was born
He suddenly rushed from it and down
stairs to where several persons were
waiting to hear the news. It's a
baby. it's a baby he said, greatly ex
cited. What did you think it was
going to be, a cat?" asked his broth
er. Kansas City Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
For a Minute He Was conciIiatorv.

tOF d MIHUIC ne was SONClIldIOTy.
This story is told by an old mine.
just returned from Alaska Mike
and were prospecting far away from
camp when night overlook us. We
decided on short cut. We came to
a canyon deep and narrow, and after
some delay we found fallen tree
across the canyon. Mike stepped
boldly on and started to cross. The
bark scaled. almost causing him to
fall He made another attempt; he
gingerly picked his way. muttering as
he vent Sure and Gods good, sure
and Gods good, and the devil amt
bad fellow at all, at ALL He re-
peated this until safely on the other
side, where he turned and shaking
his fist at some imaginary foe ex-
claimed: cav! and g'wan wild the
both of yez. KANSAS City Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

When completed. the new plant of
the Calumet Baking Powder Company.
now under course of construction. at
South 4lst avenue and Fillmore
street, will prove a fitting monument
TO the ability honesty and progress
siveness which have rendered posi-
BILE the tremendous growth OF one of
Chicago's most prominent Industrial
institutions.
This immense plant, the estimated
cost of which is s250.0o0, is a strictly
modern five-story and basement, fire
proof, re-enforced concrete building
Size, 2G0Xl00 feet. One of the novel
and interesting features of this, the
largest and most efficiently equipped
Baking Powder plant in existence,
will be cantilever shipping platform
Dead Game Sport is a most cx-
aensive title
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Our Pastinnes.

From these diamonds and tennis
courts and golf links and lacrosse
fields and other playing grounds we
are getting new generation OF young
men and women who have breath,
muscle and endurance, and who will
give a new stature to the nation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Another Refusal to Talk

Wasn't Jason the man who tried
to land the Golden Fleece?" asked the
youthful student.
81 shall not undertake to say" re.
piled Senator Sorghum. Il positively
refuse to discuss anything pertaining
20 the wool business. outside of Office
aoure"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Truth Will Out.

She If I'd known you'd be such a
brute to poor Fido, I'd never have
married you.
He The anticipated pleasure of
kicking that miserable little beast was
ono OF my chief reasons for proposing
Boston Transcript
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Appea, sustalneu.


A mouse being chased by g. cat IN
Mr.. Joe's brewery. fell into vat q
beer. The cat sprang to the edge OF
the vat and called: Aha, Mrs.
Mouse, you had better have let me eat
you, than to drown"
Yes replied the mouse, "if you
will save me from this, you may eat
me-"
The cat went to the edge Of the
tank and extended his paw, and the
mouse landed and ran hastily into its
hole.
"Come out" demanded the angry
cat, redeem your promise and let me
devour you"
"oh, no. said the mouse. when J
made it l was in liquor"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Summer Annoyances

such as prickly heat. ivy poisoning.
insect bites and offensive perspiration
are quickly relieved by applying
Tyrees Antiseptic Powder. csc. at
druggists or write ]. S Tyree, Wash
ington, u. c., for free sample.--Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Mo Mnneler

Mrs. Ringold How do the Vainless
live so stylisl4ly on their income?
Mrs. Ardlnore- Why he's president
of the biggest bankrupt concern in
town
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

did you see where in some city
they have put luminous paint on the
park benches 10 prevent spooning?'
Luminous paint That's bright
idea"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
WOMAN IN
TERRIBLE STATE
Finds Help in Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound.
Bellevue. Ohio. !" | was in terrible
state before took Lydia E. Pinkham's

V e 9 G { q oil e Com
pound. M Y ba ok
acheduntil | thought
itwould break, | had
pains all over me,
nervous feelings and
periodic troubles. L
was very weak and
l-un down and was
losing hope of ever
b eng we'll and
strong. After tax
y. W.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Curiosity.

Il want to know something"
What is ii
DO they make writing paper with
stationary engine"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
His Mission.

There goes young man who has
led thousands in his footsteps"
What is he-an evangelism
mo; an usher in theater'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Sounds Serious.

Il am going to see my avuncular
relation"
Dear me! Is he as bad as all
that"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

On the day of his wedding a man
imagines that his wife drew a prize;
but as matter of fact he is seldom
anything more than consolation
prize.
The quality of Western Canada
wheat is recognized everywhere.
The latest census returns show that
in the Province of Manitoba. which
stands out as one of great wealth and
wonderful opportunity, the land area
under wheat increased from 1,965,20O
acres in 1900 to 2,760,471 acres in 1910.
being an increase of 4O46 per cent. in
the decade. The wheat area OF 1911
is greater than that of 1910 by 1874, 46I
acres. There are increases in the area
of production of all cereals for 1910
over 1900, excepting peas and mixed
grains.
OF cereals grown in 1910 the largest
gross monetary return per acre was
given by peas with $20.51, followed by
beans with s16.37, fall wheat with
sl5.67, corn for husking with S12. So,
flax $1l.l5, buckwheat $l1.06, spring
wheat $10.34. The smallest returns
We're obtained from oats, rye and bar
ley in the order named.
The average value per farm holding
of field crops, vegetables and fruit
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

improved Iowa farms for sale at auction,
Sept. o, 6, 8, . and 10th. LILO cash and half
tho crop yearly until balance is paid, or in ten
payments. j. Mulhall, ago 9th Street, Sioux
City, IowM. Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Choice of Evils.

will they hang the prisoner"
They will, if his lawyer does not
succeed in hanging the jury
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
His Fatal Error.

Well. Wildboys has himself to
thank for his troubles. He nstook
license for liberty"
Eth? IIow's that"
Marriage license - Judge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
mo- Chance for Him

NO Cnance TOT S1tm.
Thought you were going away to-
lay?"
Couldn't buy ticket"
Nonsense. The ticket office is
lisa;9eg closed"
mo; but there was girl at the
N:adow ahead of me-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

There's place for everything, but
Che trouble is most of us cannot find
she place.-Judge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
Perfectly Natural

Perfectly Natural.
There's a fellow who is hoping for
crop failure
That seems unusual. What has
he sown?"
wild oats"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething. softens the gums, reduces intiamma-
ton ,alays pan,cures wind colo ,2oc bottle.Ady
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

Paris HIS produced an opera with
out MORO That is some improve
mont
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

hams Vegetable Compound l improved
rapidly and today ana a we'll woman. I
cannot tell you how happy feel and I
cannotsay too much for your Compound.
Would not be without it in the house if
1t COST three times the amount. Mrs.
C!lAs. CHAPLAIN, K. f. d. No. z, Belle
vue, Ohio.
Because your case is difficult one.
doctors having done you no good, do not
continue to suffer without giving Lydia
%. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound q
trial. 1t surely has remedied many
cases of female ills, such as inhamma-
ton, liberation, c'isplacements, tumors.
Irregularities, periodic pains, backache,
and it may be exactly what you need.
The Pinkham record is a proud and
peerless one. 1t is record of constant
victory over the obstinate ills Of woman
ills that deal out despair 1t is an es-
tablished fact that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has restored
health to thousands of such suffering
women. Why don't you try it if you
need such q medicines
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

rector whose stealings ran into many
millions. and not long before him
Hungary produced confidence man
of splendid proportions No need to
go back to the Humbert case and
Panama. We have produced the Wall
lingford. but Europe seems to furnish
the most interesting examples.-New
York Evening Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

The uiply of after dinner speakers
alway.' veeeds the demand.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

Complaining the situation. the
kicker ic nearly always headstrong.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

projecting over to switch track on
level with the second floor
Automatic machinery. modern APP
planes and passenger and freight
elevators of the latest type will be
installed and employed in manufac-
turing and handling the companys
product
Plans which make possible maxi
mum amount of glass area and the
highest degree of sanitation have
been carefully and scientifically pre-
pared. Spacious and splendidly APP
pointed rest rooms are provided for
employees
One entire floor will be devoted to
laboratory and research equipment.
The installation of modern bakery
for experiment purposes insures the
Leading in Defalcations.
Once more Europe has demonstrate
ed that when it comes to defalcation
this country shrinks from it's magnifi-
cent dimensions. Our natural re-
sources. our private fortunes, our
railroad accidents, and murder statis-
tics may be unapproachable, but we
rarely produce colossal embezzlers
like the French citizen which is ac-
cused of making away with more than
six million OF other peoples dollars.
Nor is the case of NJ Deperdussin an
isolated instance There is the re-
cent affair of the Belgian railway d.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

It's a saort lane that isn't tainted
with gasoline
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
It's Illuminating.

SIOUX CITY PIG. CO., NO. a6-1e1s
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

Dead Game Sport is a most cx
oensve title
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04
The Lions Ride.

The lion is the deserts king; through his
domain wide
Right swiftly and right royalty this night
he means to ride
BY the sedgy brink. where the wild herds
drink. close touches the grim chief:
The trembling sycamore above whispers
with eve1.y Loaf
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1913-09-04

Cracking companion of their fight, the
vulture whrls on high:
Below. the terror Of the fold, the panther
fierce and sly.
And hyenas foul round graves that prowl,
Join in the horq'id race:
BY the footprints wet with gore and
sweat their monarch's course they
trace
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
"Keep the Money at Home"
(Kittitas Spokesman.)

Keep the money at home" Is not an
idle slogan advanced by dissatisfied
storekeepers. 1t is an economic prin-
ciple, founded upon the elemental fact
that the sending of money out Of the
country is an indirect tax upon the
community. The neglect of this law
is as far reaching in effect as neglect
ing to return to the soil some Of the
fertility which crops take from it and
even more insidious, since the COM
munity retrogression, while constant
Is not nearly as easily recognized as Is.
the soil retrogression.
Absentee shopping" is worse than
absentee landlordism; both impover--
ish the community, both rob the soil,'
both lower the standard Of living; but
while the evil effects of one are easily
recognized, those of the other are hid
under the guise of economy which Is
more apparent than real. deluding the
individual into the belief that he Is
paying less when in reality he Is pay
ing more.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
INVESTIGATE PULLMAN.

There is something rotten in Pull
man.
We do not know what 1t is; no one
seems to have a very clear idea OF
what is wrong, if there is anything
wrong. Meanwhile the air is filled
with accusations and denials and In
the smoke of the fray instructor after
instructor at the State College resigns,
the attendance falls off some PIP stu
dents and things seem to be getting
worse instead of better.
1t is too great handicap for an ed
vocational institution to be laboring
under conditions such as these. Early
this week the proposed investigation
was quashed in the house. We think
1t a most unwise move, particularly sc
II the legislature has the welfare Of
the college at heart.
Something should be done to remedy
the present condition. Internal dis
sension such as seems to exist there
ct present must be removed. II the col
lege Is to prosper. The state is beint
flooded with stories of one kind ant
another, none of which is q credit t
the institution, and they should b.
stopped.
Only IN Investigation will do that.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
FEARED TRAIN RIDE.

wonan 1es Years Old Drives fron
Portland to Tumwater.
Preferring q five-day trip in horse
and buggy to riding on q modern rail
road train Mrs. Mary Daugherty, 10a
years old. this week completed q trip
from Portland to Tumwater in com.
pany with her 72-year-old son James
Daugherty.
The aged woman, who 10 the mother
Of 16 children, was born in Ireland in
1910: but In spite Of steamer Journey
across the Atlantic and various rides
on trains, she does not consider the
latter safe means Of travel. With her
husband, now dead, Mrs. Daugherty
lived in Oenida county, N. Y, for 20
years. then in Arkansas, Mrs. Daugh.
erty moving to Portland ten years ago,
to live near her son who had migrated
West shortly after the Civil War.
Twent-four children and grand
children Of Mrs. Daugherty have serv.
ed In the United States army, her hus.
band and I'VE sons being on the Union
side In the Civil War.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
With the Editors
Observation-Disclosures
Ioggcd-oG Lands.
t~outh Bend JournalD

C~outh Bend Iournal)
Ambitious and elaborate measures
have been proposed TO the Legislature
tor the state TO buy up logged-off lands,
have portions OF them cleared and til E,
sold on easy payments to actual set
tiers. The scheme is a good one ex-
rept the purchase of any more land at
this time. There is plenty of lOgged-otf
land already belonging to the state or
70 such institutions like the university.
Why buy more until the experiment is
tried out on the lards the state al
ready has? Appropriate enough money
10 make the experiment with two or
three sections of state land. 1t is true
that such a scheme will not provide for
salaried commission to handle it,
and no legislator will get much free
advertising for having put through
such a measure, but it is the only bus
inesslike way for the state to do.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07

We would suggest that all prospec-
tors for oil and gas couserve their On
ergies and concentrate their whole at
tention upon Olympia for the next
month or so az least those seeking the
former directing their efforts among
the lobbyists and those who desire the
latter to hibernate in the house and
senate chambers.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
COUNTY ORGANIZATION.

An organization without any mem
bers ID worse than no organization Al
all The form may be perfect. the de
sign good, but if there is no one in it
what viii It amount to?
Frequently recently we have en-
deavored to impress this fact upon the
oflcers Of the Thurston County Demo
cratic Organisation. Reports from
members Of the party in different parts
u the county support THE WASHING
rOH SrAxDAnD In its opposition to m
ether organization Of Democrats n
ibis county. but that support favorinl
ths original and legal organization
must be united and coalesced before II
en- ~ Of service,
90 what We ara interested In mos
now = thu addition OF more member
. the Organisation. It has started Of
unusuaily well. its membership q
present Il large. but It BY NO means EN-
eraces the Democrats Of the count,
ana until It does It will not have ful
nlled IT. possibilities.
The Democrats Of Chehalis count,
have adopted this same plan In toto
copying verbatim the constitution and
bylaws 81 the Thurston county Or
gauisation. They are now engaged II
N energetic membership campaign
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
BIG SURPRISE TO
MANY IN OLYMPIA.

Local people are surprised at the
QUICK results received from simple
buckthorn bark, glycerine, etc., as
mixed in Adler-i-ka, the German ap-
pendicitis remedy. Sawyer & Filley
state that this simple remedy antisep-
ticizes the digestive system and draws
off the impurities so thoroughly that A
SINGLE DOSE relieves sour stomach.
gas on the stomach and constipation
INSTANTLY. Also recommended by
Druggist Hewitt of Tumwater. (Avt.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07

RECENT LISTERISMS.
I have the veto power, al

Il have the veto power, and
would not be doing what l
said l would do before election
IL l hesitated to use the power
delegated to me by the state on
. any legislation which appeared
. to me not in the interests Of the
. state. do not think the people
. wish to have a man at their
. head who boasts Of backbone
!. like a cotton string. I am not
!. in that class, and when / 60 out
!. of Office 1 do not intend it shall
!. be said that have not the back
!: bone ought to have"
: II believe In the state of
!: Washington; I believe we have
I. one of the greatest states in the
I. Union, a state in which there is
!. more buried treasure than in
I. any other one state. / believe
I: 1t is the duty of the state to do
!. everything in its power to I'M
:. earth this treasure. For that
!. reason l shall encourage with
: all my power every rightful en-
: deavor of the legislature to as
: sist the people in clearing the
!: logged-off lands of Western
Washington and in the irriga-
; ton projects of Eastern Wash
ington."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
4 QUESTION or POLICY.

Human nature Is . peculiar thing.
when 1t Is mixed up with politics.
one would think the Republican mai
GRITTY Id the House and Senate. In
view OF the universal endorsement by
the papers throughout the state Of
Governor Listers program Of econ
omy. would lend ear to the desires Of
the people and would carry out their
expressed approval Of an economical
state government.
Instead, they are doing the opposite
and authorizing large appropriations
and scheduling larger ones to be auth
orised, which Governor Lister per-
force will be compelled to veto. He
has given the people the pledge Of
economy. and the people have accept
ed 1t, and since his reiteration Of 1t in
his inaugural message they, too, have
reiterated their support through the
medium of the Republican and Pro-
gressive papers all over the state, as
well as the Democratic.
The only excuse for the action of
the Republican majority in the legis-
lature would appear to be an attempt
to enbarrass the states new executive
Iftra lie end in view the Republi-
car / fall way short of the mark,
foI ris'er lie not the kind of a man
who oe embarrassed by the
performance o. his duty. Rather he
would take delight in it-he has not
onlv the desire but the backbone"
to carry out the desire.
The Whole matter is question of
DC y II would seem more
&C e Republican major
II. 4or in carrying
o, II the people If the
r aught for their par
tvs ~reearious condition in
: WASH on If they do not, IL they
prefer temporary power now and poll
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07

Perhaps the remark one scion ad-
dressed to the Grange lobbyists, that
they ought to be back on the farms
raising wheat instead of down here
raising hell might also be applied to
the speaker thereof, if others besides
himself cared to engage in person
alities.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
House wields Club On Exposition.

A new turn was given Washing.
toms proposed appropriation for the
Panama-Pacific exposition when Repre-
sentative Lum Of Yakima, introduced
this week resolution declaring that
no exposition appropriation will be
made until the shows boycott on
Washington lumber Is lifted. The
Lum resolution was referred to the
memorials committee and will lie
quiet there for time, but unless the
San Francisco boycott lifts ere long II
will come to life with vengeance.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07

If 1t would not sound a little 100 I'M
pertinent We feel like asking the leg
islators wat tho: are accomplishing,
but we will serve The question until
some later date.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07
Editor to Editor.

Mr.. CULLEN of the Port Orchard In
dependent Is not in the habit of utiliz-
ing a great amount of gray matter in
the preparation of copy for his col
umns. He has long since allowed the
shears to supersede the useful little or
gan of thought which nature implanted
in the upper end Of his anatomy with
view to it's occasional use. BY sort
ing over a peck or two of clippings
each week and patching few up with
a Port Orchard here and a Kitsap
county there, to give them local appli-
cation and the appearance of originate
ty. he gives the impression of possess.
ing average reasoning faculties. How
ever, when he occasionally brings his
own ideas out for little airing he
finds them considerably dwarfed and
inactive, and falls down grievously.
His latest offense against forebear-
ing public is an outcropping of his Vel
licose and bilious nature directed
against the News. ~
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1913-02-07

Of that Office, and his broad knowledge
of the state of Washington particularly
fits him to deal with the varying needs
and conditions existing. His message
dealt with the most progressive pro-
gram of changes ever introduced by q
governor in the West, and clearly
marks his path Of action during his
tenure Of office. Economy was the key
note of the recommendation, though
not brought about at the expense of q
penny wise pound foolish" principle.
The abolition Of number of the now
existing superfluous state boards" and
commissions was urged, and in this
he will have the hearty sympathy and
support of the people as a whole. A
general uprising in our state institu-
tions is slated, and last but not least
good roads is a subject Of great study
with the new governor.