New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-05-17
AS | WAS SAYING

We have watched many lopsded hirtatons before
this. Indeed. it who enriched the literature
of country with the epic beginning:
Beneath the tumtum they sat;
He squeezed her hand she smashed his hat.
But never have seen Irritation quite as COM
ically opsded this affair of the affectionate ele-
plant and the coy. though skittish, young moose.
Between weeps it is to snort.
STILL there is hope From intelligent seuth
Washington we learn that in the fulness of time
the elephant and the moose will be happily united
inside the donkey, who as usual. will celebrate by
rushing down steep place into the sea.
Yes. tho fashions vulgar, alarming, heinous;
but they are obeyed. and what else Is?
Proud TO notice that F. p. A agrees with us about
Punch" though, alas. there others, and how
they do jeer! Luckily. prepared. For their
conversion simply trot out the cartoon We have
been saving for this very emergency.
Midnight. a city square. In the square foun-
tain. In the fountain Lord Algy. BY the style OF
his swimming you that he is but slightly
sober; also fatigued. being now on the four-hun-
dredth lap Beside the fountain policeman. who
pops his lantern at Lord Algy.
Beneath the picture these mpassoned words:
Thank God. the lights OF Dover
BE an illustrator. Spend ten years learning Ex-
haust your bank account Spoil your eyes. Then
wake up and how the moving picture mill, with
its trained actors for every part. its deliberately
planned wardrobe and It's inexhaustible supply OF
indoor and outdoor scenery has relieved you Of
further effort
Mr. George Moore has been saying that III Homer
and Shakespeare suddenly introduced they
10 ,Ia f1ar
or the pleasure each took in the others work" But
We do not think so. We predict something lively.
Homer "You poyphlosboeossing. blooming lyre!'
(Refers Of course to the great Cook Peary scandal
of the Elizabethan Age. when Shakespeare ashamed
Of his plays. embroidered them all over with the
signature Of Lord Bacon)
Shakespeare: - - eve employ
dashes as the unexpurgated original is suited only
to the young when in quest Of cuture)
Eat Hearo 1t Positively Cures Deafness" We
hate to damage the prospects Of any honest enter
prise yet we have noticed that there times when
deafness is a great. great blessing For instance:
Mrs w. Coddington Bright, deaf as post, gave
charming little dinner last evening and among
those present were the Misses Dobbin OF Hacken-
sack Now, II must be admitted that the Misses
Dobbin-though good-hearted. you know. and I'm
teresting" and all that-have never quite hit 1t
Bright still owes their father for that used car and
hopes to keep owing him, world without end
amen they had to be invited
We can see, now, that young Bobby Bright should
have been given several advance span<ngs before
the dinner for just as merriment ran highest, he
shouted: my mamma says, Those dowdy Dobbin
eirls!"
II would have been rather trying moment-oh
wouldn't it?-except for Mrs. Brghts benign deaf
ness.
There is cheerful news from abroad where an
actress is wearing goldfish her head Yes live
ones! They swim in an aquarium cleverly designed
by her milliner
At last something practical! With all that Is
within us we applaud the goldfish hat. Just the
thing for summer. as have studied goldfish and
know their nature. Though gentle in the ordinary
relations of life the little rascals are terror to
mosquitoes. " H. H.