davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A self-illuminating car paint has
been devised whereby an automobile
may be spotted a mile away At least,
it's possible to say There she goes"
under such circumstances.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

An easterner committed suicide be
cause he had lost his appetite. The
Jury probably found that he came to
bis death through his own careless
hess.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A soiled greenback is restored to its
original pristine glory by washing
and ironing at the cost OF 1-1O cent.
But the average man worries not at
all whether his greenbacks be dirty.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A Chicago woman advocates kiss
ing being taught as a fine art. If II
isn't a fine art, It is not due to lack
Of practice among the younger gen.
eration.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A Los Angeles Judge Just granted
wife a divorce because her husband
spanked her. Probably he should
have used a club and have been given
, nne for assault and battery
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A professional baseball umpire has
brought suit for divorce because his
wife called him names. Probably her
defense will be that she was training
him preparatory to the coming sea.
ann.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Snakes escaped and caused all sorts
Of trouble in a Parisian railroad sta
ton. Trouble ensuing from snakes
should not worry Paris at this late
day.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A New York woman is said to have
found $500 in newspaper, 1t is be-
heved. however. that the story was
started by the paper in question as a
circulation booster.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

The supreme court Of Oregon thinks
khat 700 years Is too long a sentence
for any crime. Still, It might have
been the proper thing in the time OF
Esthusoiah.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

still, 1t seems like taking an unfair
advantage of hard working micrube
when a human being saturates him
self with onions.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

There are 1000 males to 900 fe
males in the world And still there
are those who would tax the bache-
lOrS.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A Kansas woman has a fad for col
lecting pitchers. No, gentle fan, she is
not the proprietress Of a baseball
team.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

:Sorway is now starting to manufac-
pure nitrogen from the air. In the
midst OF peace we are surrounded by
dangers.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

There are nineteten separate grades
Of eggs in the market. One is cold
storage. The rest-O, well, nobody
sver sees them.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Now It has been discovered that
laughing gas may be self-adminis.
Nered. There are lots of grouches
Who may profit by the discovery.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

New York man died the other day
ana his heart was found to be on the
right side 1t was in the right place,
al right
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A Brooklyn bride has advertised
CAat she will not be responsible for
Asr husbands debts. Ten to one she's
IA actress.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

1t keeps wives as busy providing
The inner man as it does husbal
providing things for the outer WON
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

DR.. Plerce's Pellets, small, sugsr-cO,,
easy to take as candy, regulate and invlgnI
stomach, liverand bowels. Donot grippe a
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

The kaiser has Just dedicated a mo-
non picture house of his own. Well
there's money in moving pictures.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

As between dollars and bullets, we
must say we'd choose dollars every
time
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Whatever else may be said of him,
the storage man deserves the credit
pf putting the old in cold.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

A New York woman lost s440 which
she carried In her stocking. How is
not explained.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

It is up to the police to make safe
allowing unsafe.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

The French Poets society plans
pensions for aged members. Who
viii furnish the funds.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

One way to stay young, says Ad.
nniral Dewey. is to avoid banquets.
fes, they are deadlier than battles.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Sometimes Tempting Fate.
Many man who would give a dol
lar to know what people think of him
ought to be willing to give 50 not to
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Some young women want vote, but
some prefer a husband with vote.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

What excellent fuel some freproof
structures appear to be!
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

Husband killing episodes may be
necessary, but they are awfully mussy,
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

One way to avoid cholera seems to
Be to avoid war
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

The man who is untrue to hi,
friends can never trust himself.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

1t takes a genius to save money
write good poetry.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21

If New York can't find a new sen
sation 1t stirs up an old one.
The Southern herald., 1913-02-21
:, st Because,

why was the beauty doctor Sol
cry with Anna?"
Because she told him she was q
Ing to him to get few wrinkles
The citizen., 1913-05-30
COULDN'T BE TOO CAREFUL
Modern Method by Which Prudent
Father Guards His Daughters
Future Happiness.
YER habits are good?"

Yer habits are good?'
The prominent millionaire looked
keenly at the young man who had ap-
piled for the hand OF his daughter.
Yes, sir, came the firm reply. Il
rarely play bridge after midnight
never gamble.in Wall street, and make
point OF staying home at least one
night week.
Have you good Dispositions"
Fine. I can live with my sister for
hours at time
You are in good health?"
Excellent"
You love my daughter"
"Passionalely
What are your assets?'
The young man handed him paper
on which appeared a list Of his prop
critics The prominent millionaire
looked it over carefully.
You are prepared TO corroborate
thiso"
Certainly, sir"
The prominent millionaire reached
forward ana shcoh hands cordially.
My dear boy he said Il am per
fectly satisfied and only hope you will
pardon me for being so particular But
you see. ! want to be cutie sure that
when you have married my little girl,
after her divorce YOU viii be able to
support her in the same style in which
she is now living with her present
The citizen., 1913-05-30

the grasses are as beautiful as they
are transitory. the word suggests both
the beauty and the brevity Of that
Which depends upon the caprice OF a
ruling power.
The longhorued cattle are the larg
est and most formidable animals on
the island, therefore the military on
the island are known as the horns OF
the land The symbol Ii used as
the Bible uses il. to denote strength.
power and confidence
Our word hypocrisy means under
the ak" and refers 10 the mask
Worn by actors in the Grecian theater
The Madagascar word for hypocrisy
means becoming good by spreading
mat"
The clay foor OF the house is GOV
cred b. a mat. which when soiied is
no, removed. but covered by a clean
one often there is a LAYER Of four o.
i've rCtyea mats on the floor. each one
dirJier than The one above it, Whe
a stranger enters the house a fTesa
mat IS spread for him to sit upoL
and all looks nice and clean. But u.
derGeath is all manner of dirt The
house has become clean by spreading
4 mat The man who is all clean
outside ard dirty within is a hypocrije
who has become good by sp.eadins
a mat"
The citizen., 1913-05-30
The Main On0..

L.
y. Pierpont Morgan so,%
man, hated the dissepsior = "a cIi'
times springs up between biaE @ y 2
ard low. Apropos Of an 'sr sr.I Ia'
gious dissension, he used .a'a y !
story about wise old colo - "a
Calhoun Clay.
Cal a gentleman onoo
what denomination do Ven 1,I...~ '-.''
l think I see you sonetino. guy;
for the chapel, but DON'T a. -ia4 Y
you'd do better 10 come to o1 ns'. "
Bress yo' heart, sonny .t...
old Calhoun Clay, hits Al. I-''
Dar's free roads leadin from ny
Nola Chucky Oar a s,raiga. '
but hits hilly, and aars a lsr1 a,, I I
to de right, and dar's Jeysl |
to de left. But when All aaes !. 1
Chucky VIII a load o grgn 5.' %a
think they asks me. "CtcIa c.I !
road you come by No .sb n
they asks is, Uncle IS y35 4
good?' ''
The citizen., 1913-05-30
WEDGED AS he FLEES FIRE
Firemsn Are ConpeIIsd to Use Axes
to Release Fat Medical Officer
From Serious Predicament

Londen.-Called to a fire at the
Friendly Societies Medical institute.
Yarmouth. fremen saw the co-pulent
resident medical officer, Or. James
Anderson. at the window of third
soor bedroom. which was in flames.
The escape was run up, but so tightly
was the doctor wedged in the window
frame that the frame had 10 be bro.
ken with axes before he could be re.
leased lie is now in hospital
The citizen., 1913-05-30
Pycp7 fc the Cat.

The doors Of a certain new house
had shrunk horribly as is the way
Of the modern door made OF unsea-
soned wood and lei, to shrink in
use The builder would not send the
joiner to replace them So the
householder tried the irorclad meth
cd and wrote:
Dear Sir The mice can run IN
der most cf ov~ doors. but our cat
cannot follow then. VII yvu please
send a man at once t- make room IN
der the doors for tile cat and much
oblge?"
Next DAY tie iciaers came Man
chester Guardian.
The citizen., 1913-05-30

siEnaled Bush to sacrifice on the first
ball pitched There was grOan from
a dozen baseball men who realized
that Jennings practically was Tefus-
ing 70 let Adams throw away his own
game Rush hunted Detroit scored,
bu, had Bush been permitted TO wait
uetro;. probably would have won that
game in the trst inning. driven Adams
oG the slab and had they done that
Adams never would have pitched
again IL that series. as il was he
s,=a3.ed won the game. came back
sJro-aer ana agatu Sril stronger and
won the championship for FiJIsburg.
In spite or that lesson Connie Mack
did exactly The same thiaz in the
World series in leiI refused 10 let
Nar9uard throw away his game in the
5rSt inning. and almost lost the game
BY it.
One OF the mysteries OF baseball for
many years has been the excessive
hitting power of every team Connie
Mack, commander of the Athletics
leads ] believe Jhe secret 9f his sue
cess lies in this jockeying with pitch
The citizen., 1913-05-30
LIKE MAGIC"
New Food Makes Wonderful Changes.

When a man has suffered from dys-
pepsia so many years that he can't re-
member when he had a natural appe-
tite, and then hits on a way out of
trouble he may be excused for saying
1T acts like magic.
When it is simple, wholesome
food instead Of any one of a large num-
Der of so called remedies in the form
OF drugs, he is more than ever likely
to feel as though a sort of miracle has
been performed.
A Chicago man, in the delight of re-
stored digestion, puts it in this way:
Like magic. fttingly describes the
manner in which Grape-Nuts relieved
me of poor digestion, coated tongue
and loss of appetite, of many years
standing.
Il tried about every medicine that
was recommended to ME, without re-
lief. Then | tried Grape-Nuts on the
suggestion of friend. BY the time
| had finished the fourth package. my
stomach was all right, and for the past
two months l have been eating with
a relish anything set before me. That
is something l had been unable to do
previously for years.
I am stronger than ever and con-
slider the effects Of Grape-Nuts on
weak stomach as something really
wonderful 1t builds up the entire
body as well as the brain and nerves"
Name given by the Postum Co, Battle
Greek. Mich.
There's a reason and it is ex-
planned in the little book, THE Road
to Wellville. in pkgs.
Ever read the above lctterg 4 new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, ana full OF human
The citizen., 1913-05-30
LANGUAGE FULL OF POETRY
Natives of Madagascar Use Single
Words That Tell
Story.

The language of Madagascar is held
by linguists TO be one of the me st
fertile IN poetical expressions. Many
of its single words are full of poetry.
One OF the native names OF the island
is the land in the midst of the no,
ing waters" The sun, which for one
half the year is blaze OF unclouded
light is called the eye of day" a
river is a mother of waters and
the capital the mother OF towns.
Those who dwell on the wooded
plains are the people under the
leaves The word for glory and honor
means the flower OF the grass" AS
The citizen., 1913-05-30

drawn close with intent to throw to
the plate, The ball was hit to McInnis
on the second short bound. or rather
to his right, and as he was coming for
ward and scooped the ball perfectly,
he had an easy play to the plate. In
stead of throwing there he flashed the
ball like a shot to Barry at second
base. whirled. raced for first and
caught Barrys return throw on top Of
the bag. completing the double play.
II was wonderful play both in
thought and execution. but do not
advise any other first baseman TO at
tempt it
~~~-~~~-~~-~~---~~~-~~-~-~
out without stint your fragrance and
beauty. you let the sunshine of life
into your own soul.-Troy Standard
Press.
The citizen., 1913-05-30
CRAP FUNDS GO TO HOSPITAL
union Hill. N. j.. Police Turn Cver
Cash Seized in Raids of
Eleven Years.

New York The North Hudson hos
pital Union Hill. y. J., received a do
nation Of $li. mostly in nichels anc
pennies. recently. It was subscribed
by the crap players OF Union Hill, ou.
it was not a voluntary Offering, they
having been 'f-isked OF this amount
by the Union Hill police in the pas:
eleven Years.
IS the stakes were taken from the
gamesyers they were deposited in q
glass box in the police station Chief
Wal,um found it was nearly full the
other Gay and then decided to give
the money 10 the hospital
The citizen., 1913-05-30

What's the matter. old chap? You
look as il you Aaca', had g wink Of
sleep al uishJ
y haven't You see, ny wife threat
ened never 10 speak to NE asain Il
I didn't come home last night before
ten o'clccE. and | didn't.
Il see: you're finding GU. the lone
someness Of solicitude because she
kept her word. eh?"
Not by a jugful wish she had
The citizen., 1913-05-30
lack Hammer fcr slr1aon.

Scientific ham@eGas Vi The n
column, technically @caaa as sm
lctherapy, is one OF r.a latest d
ments TO be adcitsd m=m5sr
the Philadelphia medic, pr0tessa
1t consists Cf t4p.a- certain
tions Of the spine tor patients Cd
ing with heart, lune stomach
liver trouble.
The "taek-hammer t-eatmea"
discovered By Dr Alt A5ran.
nerve specialist ot S.. Franc4o
Philadelphia Disp2sca TO tie
York American
The citizen., 1913-05-30
To Regtore &c 90 Ross.

Sacramento.-There is q bit OF sen
timent back of a bill now before this
legislature asking fer a small appro-
priation for the restoration OF the old
Greek chapel and fort at Fort Ross.
Sonoma county. At Fort Ross the
Russians landed il 1912 and built the
relics Senator Juilliard and Assem-
blymen Slater and Libby wish to be
preserved
Recently 1000 Russians, men.
women and children, have again re-
turned to the haven OF century ago
and viii engage in farming and other
pursuits near the old fort. When the
old chapel is restored they may again
worship therein. as their predecessors
did in 1912
The citizen., 1913-05-30
What She Wanted.

,Iatrimonial Ageut-~dat ai1i
husband DO you want?
Girl-One who doesr & smoke
or swear, who brings me choN
and takes me 10 theaters and rs
rants every day.
Matrimonial Agent-You don't
husband. What you want is al
Judge.
The citizen., 1913-05-30


ger the most desperate cUAdillOls %
against Il pitcher who Iialpably is Sc
"rattied" that he is bind TO every.
thire except the man at II plate and
allows The runner a flying start. Then
an instant of hesitation by the pitcher
may make the steal a success. 1t is
good Judgment at times. fer a fleet.
daring man who is a good slider. to
steal when the batter is helpless be-
fore a pitcher and when two are cut.
The double steal, executed with run
ners on first and third is. according TO
the closest students OF the game,
proper under the following conditions:
When two men are out ard weak
batter CT a slow runner is at the plate,
and when one run is needed to win The
g2me-the play in the latter case be
ing jusJidable with no one out, or with
TWO out-but not with only one out.
Many judges object TO the play unless
TWO are out-but last season | saw
it worked repeatedly by clever teams
With ro one out With runners on
first and third and a decent catcher
working, the double steal worked to
get runner over the plate. ought
net to succeed IL more than two cases
n seven.
In the defensive end OF the game
every situation is a study ot the bat
5er, and. gcine beyond the individual
batters 1t is d study OF the stage OF
the game. The great problems ct the
game are. When 10 Play the lnield
close to choose between attempting
a double play when runners are on
trst and third .2d letting the run
count ana above all 20 place the out-
ae.ders with regard 20 the stages OF
the game.
The commcaosc biuniers Of really
great managers and players are made
IN the disposition OF the ouJaeld \
great many caWg.ns who arrange
their jndeld caret..iy pay little GtJeur
tion TO the second li.e Of defense, and
really they rely more upon the IN
diviGIal brain work OF the outfeid
-hau they do o. The inielders This
is partly 5ecause -hey are more close
IL IN touch With The infeld and partly
because OF the fewer chances Tor the
cutfe.d to get INTO q vital play
The outfeld problems really are
more veXing than those OF tie inEeld
The situation mainly is icrced upon
he intield. WIKI runner on third ana
one or none cur. and the run means a
tie or defeat, the iuaeld IS compelled
10 come forward. In the early stages
of the game the manager IS forced 10
decide whether to allow the run 10
score. or to try to cut it of. and must
base his Judgment on the ability OF
his pitcher to hold the other team TO
a low score. and eli his own hitters to
bat in enough runs to win. Teams
such as Detroit and the Athletics,
n4rt-hitting and frsescor;ng teams,
can afford to let the other team gain
+ a run. rather than risk its getting two
/ or three. as they can score more later.
. Teams such as the old Chicago White
( Sox. the hitless wonders" Of the
. American league. could not allow the
opposing team a run and had 10 play
the closest inside game
Many of the better major league
I teams that is. those possessing fast
1 infeldsrs. will vary the play when
runners. are G. first and third. one out
The citizen., 1913-05-30
His Future ssgre5.

How Oh earth ii you gain
your popularity2' inglrei ,le
senator.
Why, you see, it was this v
replied the older statesman w
men asked me for MY candid Opl
about themselves ! gae 'lea
candid opinion, and when they a
me for NY candid opinion about
friends. ! gave them nay picked
ion Popularity followed as a nj
OF course.
The citizen., 1913-05-30
eoneg 2.fco go oId Eound.

Geneva, Switzerland.-Pro Peis
sard. the government archeologist, in
eXosvating at Blassens. near. Fribourg,
has found imbedded in quartz the
bones of q woman. together with some
jgwelry Of the Gallic-Helvetic period.
r c. $50 to 200. The ornaments we're
q bronze necklace and a bracelet set
with pieces OF blue glass.
The citizen., 1913-05-30

.,..
Detroit IoSl No'lu 8 O''" .''''| ,t,.!
" oO..'@ -. -.
C'so .-'' HI. IT,. t.-....
,eN.''.7 .... -, ms.
No''' ..'l'.- .,,..,...l..,,,....s
one ".'1 " as 80 ....'I.. =,
e''" A,.''' 80. 80 '''', .....'. H.,
'"5 '.'-'-9 ' ,... =.
tNo '7 1"' l.., --.,.
'H''Ss ~. ,....'- no 80. ',....zt j.,
SERVES '9 'r '.-o' .-'.'. -
,Ae S.o' en- l.''i "''- '-...' .. .,....
no" .' -,
;"s'IS ".'' .".". -"7
"-s- one '' '"' .-.--7
~. l'-l -,
'"--. ,. -
'"e Z N'-- = "a. ,.' w. -,
S''--,..e' anu .'-, W ...' -. -.
n'"e.s .-'. '0' 60 8 ''.''.,' 80. 80
league .'"t ''' -'
A," ..-- .-'s s-.-..+
'l+ purpose o- ..'S @'''N
niue" o. s.O" .." l.''' s~'.''.
m""F. as NiS" = 4.-.s,'
play may ue I0-i0,s IL. N'.' ,'''' ''-.'
en>'le.E "fe.-- z A.e-"..-.- -'.F'. '''''
e".-- on -A. "sS0-''''.'''- '.'''.
Ovt III -A..'e. 'S" Nae's --'-
otsa.-..' aAA una ."''~s '"g 49, -
WiieA are (he o"ss9'- i'''-''' .''s
tens now me primer 'S '~'s'
ana @Fp--ro '' major 'e"s1' P.,''
AS REGARDS offensive .'7y'"''. .|.
making q runs. mere are -"O @'g''.
types ei teams. iA- leans quay l.'"'
Tor one run al q '.'ar "a ci"S7 r
heavily Aahd!canA anu ."o7e s'-''
The citizen., 1913-05-30
pzrdnnahls curiosity.

81 see the cake quite plainly" said
the guest at the restaurant table
d'hote. as the waiter brought him
straw berry shortcaEe for dessert. but
there's one thing I'd Ike 10 know"
Yes. sir?" replied The waiter in a
tone Of respectful inquiry. What is
that"
Merely this, what does the straw.
berry representa-
The citizen., 1913-05-30
at Home" Days.

Edith and Jack were at a loss for
a game.
Let's play at being at home and
have a day, said Edith
"A day? ," asked Jack. What does
that mean?"
Why, don't you know?" said Edith
wisely. All fashionable people have
days Gods day is Sunday and moth
er's is Tuesday,
The citizen., 1913-05-30

20 force him to use bis full strength.
and to get him in the hole" which
IN baseball means to force him into q
position where, TO avoid giving pass,
he must pitch the ball over the plate
II the count is two and ne strikes. the
batter is morally certain the next bah
viii be over the plate whether it is
straight or a curve and lie also
knows that in his anxiety to make
certain OF throwing the ball over the
plate, the pitcher win not dere put
as much on the ball as he would do
if there were TWO strikes and one or
two balls caEsJ Therefore he is
The citizen., 1913-05-30
Interesting.

DO YOU enjoy going'to bsnquets2"
Well cant say that have enjoy.
ed them particularly; but they are al
ways intereSting
Always
Yes. i never get tired noticing ksw
well the cid stories so if they are
cleverly told
The citizen., 1913-05-30
ALL Lust BY SELFlSRNESS
Though Altogether Too Common an
Error, II Is One Of the Worst
OF the Human Race.

Imagine a rose that would say to
itself: = cannot afford 70 give away
all my beauty and sweetness; I must
keep il for myself I viii roll up
my petals and withhold my fra.
GRANGE"
Bat behold the moment the rose
tries TO store up its colors and treas
The citizen., 1913-05-30
NOES YOUR HEAD ACHE.

Try Hicks CAPUDISE. It's liquii-l
ant TO take-efTects simmediate-go2d'9H
Sick Headaches and Nervous ileadaeus.
Your money back il not satisfied IW""'
J0c. at medicine stores Adv
The citizen., 1913-05-30
Eqotisn.

The Man (sourly) home team
always loses when l 90 to a game
I'm the hoodoo. ell right.
The Woman-How can you be so
conceited, John?
The citizen., 1913-05-30

Mrs Prims dear little house looks
good enough to eat"
THAT is because she keeps it in
apple pie order
The citizen., 1913-05-30
Hone for Us AL. Then

Even pobblitz has his good
points
"A remark that is enough 10 make
the average man an optmist."
The citizen., 1913-05-30

ct his manhood dry up His finer ma
tu-e becomes atrophied He grows
deaf to the cries of help from his
Fellow men. Tears that never are
shed for others woes sour To string
ins acids tn his own heart
Refuse to open your purse. and
scon you viii cease TO enjoy that
which you have Refuse 70 love, and
vou lose the power 70 love and be
owed. Withhold your affections. ard
you become a moral paralytic. But
the moment you open wider the door
OF your life and, ike the rose. send
The citizen., 1913-05-30

Never put your foot in it \
acknowledging a birthday prese-
Not even if it is pair OIL
pers?"
The citizen., 1913-05-30

Mrs. wiuslov.s Soothing syrup FOR ~,
teething, sofieus the gums. reiuees -.
ion, ,allays pain,cures wind oohc'-'' d -
The citizen., 1913-05-30

Some people have q EnacA 7. \
ing everything to their own ul''''
tage.
The citizen., 1913-05-30

Fortunately most people cannot sing
the old songs
The citizen., 1913-05-30

The Venus OF Milo explained
4 was trying to make m!ssA
cubist effect. she said
The citizen., 1913-05-30

How did he work his WON
feat??"
With both hands.
The citizen., 1913-05-30

The people who have none! +
do not seem to know il
The citizen., 1913-05-30

- -----=---=--=--- - -.
-s -