Bisbee daily review., 1913-12-14
HIGH OFFICIALS
 ROASTED 0N GRILL .
 OF GRIDIROh CLUB
Famous Organization of Washington Correspond ents Aims Its Witty Shafts at President Wilson and Cabinet

WASHINGTON. Dec. 13.-How the United States would be governed Gn. der a Mexicanized administration; how the appetites of the hungry of flee seeker should he appeased, the secret of the perennial domination fl Tan1many, and the best way to dis. pose of undesirable statesmen,-were some of the questions which the Grid iron lClub undertook to asswer in humorous vein before a goodly com pany of distinguished guests tonight at it's annual December Dinner.
 Few of the cofpany escaped the shafts of wit. Resident Wilson. Vice President Marshall. Secretary Bryan ana leaders in Senate and House @ ne in for share on the gridi-on. but il was evident that no one enjoyed the pilling more than the victims them selves.
 Prospective candidates for Presi- dential nomination surely must have been discouraged at the troubles end uncertainties ahead of them, when the American government is con ducted on the Mexican plaa, as dis closed in the opening skit. An extra edition of an evening newspaper an. nounced: Grave Crisis in American Affairs. U. s. Mexicanized. old Order Superseded Dictator Takes Reins of { Government Whereupon appeared in the dining hall an army clad in ragged, but gaudy uniforms, headei by Bryanna Bryana followed closely by l one Tumulto. with the announced pur- . pose Of giving complication cf Mexican methods as applied 10 Afer 1 ican affairs. ' Bryanna Bryana-"Wiya Mexico" Tumulto- Whats the Irish of it? cant talk Spanish" {"
 B. B.-"Weil you and your chief have been walking Spanish for som5 tIme. According to approved Mexican standards I have grabbed the Pres idency."
 l Voice from Rear-"That's the cn!v way you could get it.
 The Dictator then appropriated all the money in the Treasury, and CT dered the execution Of few con gressmen. When urged to save few for the next holiday he replied: We can begin on the Supreme Court to morrow"
 ! Vice President Marshallera appeared ! and explaining that he had heard there was a vacancy at the White House, claimed his rights. He was, however. promptly ejected by the Dictator with the remark: Rights?
 Why the only right you have is to
 wonder about the Presidents state cf health. and I-am-very-we.l.'
 After increasing his own salary,
 BTyanna Bryana made all his army generals: told them he could not pay and sent them out to kill Champere
 C.arkista. But that astute leader won
 over the army with promise of pay
 and marching into the hall, oyeTthreV
 Bryana and ordered his execution: which sentence. however, he was i'm.
 pelled to make verse by adding "cul his vocal cords"
 Hardly had the new Dictator as , sumed office and killed Senators O.
 ormano, Reedevera and Hitchkoko, be.
 fore the army which has been outsid 3 Reducing Senor BryaBa's income al
 it's source" returned headed by an
 other Pretender-this time William Alsorandolph Hersta' who demanded the Presidency on the ground of ''the
 million acres ] own in Mexico, that want this country to protect" He or
 dered the army to kill Clarkista. whI bitterly replied: Too late That. 7 what your support did to me at Bal
 timore."
 Hersta seizing the reins of power announced that he wanted to inter !. vene somewhere, and when Tumultc |. said There's no war at present, re
 pied: Start one then and say [ diC it. Then stop 1t and say 1 stopped it.
 Moosebullera appeared for th'
 fourth time to demand his rights
 but scuttled away when Hcrsta
 threatened to print full reports Of hi. F. speeches.
 fl l,y that time the tickle minded arm, had been taken by Battle Boo IaFol lc,te,' who assumed oomnara Gu th' v Gldfin tEdt HE i1 lAc ' NiN HOaAGS # man in public life" He uirass GU
 Dictator Hersta with the .ecilrat:on 'I originated universal peace. Bryant 't stole .1zt from me. I anu the origiaa r. trust luster. EverybOdy's bustin' ;, them now-and they stole my stuff.
 wanted the Progressive nomination fer President. The Bull ,J oss stoi' | that froin me"
 ., Marshaliera again bobbed up shout
 ing: Constitution says" when Ia 'e was cut short by LaFollette with "M Ie dear sir; you are bewiidered- Tn ,., Constitution hasn't spoken above whisper for several year" Marshs IS Iera retired finally upon being pro lo sented with ah enormous turnip. c Scarcely had the company reoos ' erred lefom. such 2 4eafe'tt dreami Q Mexicsnization when further disorde
 was created bys the sudden apreal k. ance of Mrs. Pankhurst who's
 shrieks of Votes for Women" an v .f..u...a e.. a uaaf of haunr xrsf.