Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1913-06-20

eat. until they represent mourning OH
earth to me but ruminant bipeds.
They're absolutely nothing but some
thing that goes in front of a knife and
fork and plate at the table. They're
fixed that way in my mind and mem
DRY. I've tried to overcome it, but l
can't I've heard girls rave about their
sweethearts, but | never could under
stand it. A man and a sausage grinder
and a pantry awake i'll me exactly the
same sentiments. | went to matinee
once to see an actor the girls were
crazy about. | got interested enough
to wonder whether he liked his steak
rare, medium or well done and his
eggs over or straight up. That was ALL
No. jeff; I'll marry no man and see
him sit at the breakfast table and eat,
and come back to dinner and eat, and
happen in agin at supper to eat, eat,
eat
but. Name, says |, it'll wear Off
You've had too much of it. You'll
marry some time, of course. Men don't
eat always
AS ldI DIS lily OOSCl NdllOl SoSo,
they do No, I'll tell you what I'm 60
ing to do Name turns, sudden, to an
imation and bright eyes. There's a
girl named Susie Foster in Terre
Haute a chum of mine. She waits in
the railroad eating house there. L
worked two years in restaurant in
that town. Susie has it worse than
do, because the men who eat at rail-
road stations gobble. They try to t1irt
and GObble at the same time. Whew!
Susie and | have it all planned out.
We're saving our money. and when we
get enough we're going to buy little
cottage and five acres we know Of and
live together and grow violets for the
eastern market. \ man better not
bring his appetite within a mile of that
ranch.
Don't girls ever l commenced,
but Name heads me off, sharp
NO they don't. They nibble little
bit sometimes; that's all
~ thought the confect-
For goodness sake change the sub
ject,' says Name.
LAS | said before, that experience
put me wise that the feminine ar
rangement ever struggles after decep-
tions and illusions. Take England
beef made her; wieners elevated Ger
many; Uncle Sam owes his greatness
to fried chicken and pie, but the young
ladies of the ShetalkyOu schools, they ii
never believe it. Shakespeare, they
allow, and Rubinstein, and the rough
riders is what did the trick.
Twas a situation calculated TO dis
turb | couldn't bear to give up Name,
and yet it panied me to think of aban-
doning the practice of eating. l had
acquired the habit too early. For
twenty-seven years | had been blindly
rushing upon my fate, yielding to the
insidious lures of that deadly monster,
food. 1t was too late. | was a rumi-
salad to doughnut that my life was
going to be blighted by it.
Il continued to board at the Dugan
tent, hoping that Name would relent.
| had sufficient faith i'll true love to
believe that since it has often outlived
the absence of a square meal it might,
in time, overcome the presence of one.
| went on ministering to my fatal vice,
although | felt that each time | SHOW
ed a potato into my mouth in Names
presence | might be burying my fond
est hopes.
81 think Collier must have spoken
to Name and got the same answer, for
one day he orders a cup of coffee and
a cracker and sits nibbling the corner
of it like a girl in the parlor that's
filed up in the kitchen. previous, on
cold roast and fried cabbage. | caught
| on and did the same, and maybe we
thought we'd made a hit. The next
| day we tried it again and out comes
old man Dugan fetching i'll his hands
the fairy viands.
"'Kinder off yer feed. amt We
cents:' he asks fatherly and some sar
donic. Thought Id spell Name bit
seem the work was light and my rheu
matiZ can stand the strain
30 DdCk lit anu N)ciilCt Iuo W NACl
to the heavy grub again. | noticed
about that time that | was seized by ;
most uncommon and devastating appe
titc. | ate until Name must hay'
hated to see me darken the door. Aft
erward | found out that | had beel
made the victim of the first dark AM
irreligious trick played on me by E'
Collier Him and me had been takin
drinks together uptown regular, tryin
to drown our thirst for food. Tha
man had bribed about ten bartender
to always put a big slug of Appletree'
Anaconda Appetite Bitters in every on
of my drinks. But the last trick h
PLAYED me was hardest to forget.
"One day Collier failed to show up a
the tent 4 man told me he left tow
that morning. My only rival now wa
the bill of fare. a few days before h
left Collier had presented me with
two gallon jug of fine whisky, which
he said, a cousin had sent him fror
Kentucky | now have reason to be
lieve that it contained AppIetree's Ana