Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1913-12-19
PECULIAR CLIENTS
Cranks With Whom Lawyers
Sometimes Have 10 Deal.
QUEER CASES OUT OF COURT.


and Their Claims Are Just About a.
Visionary as Those Of Numerous
Patent Seekers Are Frsakish.
..what is the most peculiar case that
has ever been brought 10 you by
prospective eiirnti' VS.; The question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the abiest lawyers In New York
The lawyer said that probably the
oldest client who had ever visited him
was woman about forty yea old.
who wanted to bring suit against one
Of the sunday newspapers for not hav-
ing printed an account of her latest
social function" on Its society page.
as she had particularly requested over
the telephone.
As the second oldest client. he cited
the ease o. eother woman who had
come to him in tears and sought to en-
list his legal aid in making her has-
band stop flirting THE woman as
sured me that She loved her husband
and that She knew her husband loved
her, but that be had hublt of wink
ing at every good looking WOMAN be
saw" said the lawyer when told
her there was uo legal redress for her.
inasmuch as she said ! was a fool If
even thought she or her husband want
ed divorce. she exclaimed that ! was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
Of and left my Office IN ii rage
The same question was put to sever
al ofher lawyers and an unbeiievabIy
l peculiar assortment Of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case Or
a man who asked him to represent hin
for two months at the patent Office in
WASHINGTON Il want you to go there.
stay thers and represent me. be said.
.'But .int,Eposed the attorney. -wlsat
in the world do you vlnnt me to do
while am tsere?r
The man drew his chair clase to the
lawyers and IN low tones told the at.'
torney TINT he had inyented an aero
plane clock us be called IL aiet tbh'
he wanted him to 60 to the patent oily
iice and prevent any other inventor
''from sneakiDg in a similar invention
while the authorities are IN asafeiess
mood
The man seemed to be in his norNai
senses despite the fact that his higirs
priced invention was absolutely moth
ing more than small watch fastened
Iii leather case, the sort that may be
seen in stores anywhere. When he
had Impaired this information the law
yer pointed out that there was moth
ing patentable about his ''inxention.
There isn't. ehT shouted the man.
Indeed there Isl Who has ever
thor II before thfs Of putting clock
In an alrship2"
The attorney sought to hnmor him
and said Wouldn't watch in the
ayiators pocket do rs well?'
The man jumped up. "That's Just
the point. he cried cit would not do
as well. because 1t might fall out
Against such logic the attorney said
he found himself helpless. and he told
the man he feared the case was too
difficult for him to handle
Another strange client who visited a
patent las str 1Vxnted to secure a pat
ent "a "foweNN!afhespin. The lat.
ter was an ordinary wooden clothespin.
with liitle wire point on lop On the
latter fresh towers might be stuck,
thereby. according to the inventor.
"givins the cl0thesiines the Appearance
Of flower gardens" He saw a fortune
from the sale Of bis pins in cities.
When the lawyer assured him that
besides the fact thnt there was more
sentlmentality than practicability 20
his invention. a pin stuck In the epd
Of the wosh would serve just Us effec
lively as tue "invented" piece of wire
the client threatened to bring suit
againSt him for ''vioIation of conf
dence''
Another patent lawyer said that the
oldest client who had ever come to
him was young woman who wanted
his help IN getting patent literally
on an idea
"what Is your ideag' asked the law
yer curieusiy
The young woman refused to tell
him, saying that she hesitated to di
Fnlre the nature Of her idea until it
had been seenred by patent II won't
trust anybodv with It. not even you"
she told shc lawyer
Like til famous AnnelSe 1ahs heirs.
there are numerous sfraupa caSaq AZ