The Washington herald., 1913-11-23

Yes, that is a bottle OF carbolic acid,
replied the ice man. as tears hlled his
eyes and his voice quavered. Il could
lie to you and say that I bought 1t to
poison rats, but no iceman wants TO
break a lifelong record for truth and
yeracity."
For your mother-in-law?" was asked.
For myself"
Great Scott, man.
'Oh. of course you are surprised. You
and the rest OF the world argue that the
iceman has everything to live for and
should be the last to think OF shufiiing
on by his own hand. but you have been
mistaken all along 1t is the iceman who
has suffered long and patiently. 1t Is he
who has hoped when all others have de-
SPARED. Bankers and merchants have
gone hence. unable to endure the strain,
but the iceman has not skipped a daily
round. When the millionaire has been
wailing over the hard times the iceman
has been whistling a merry tune to keep
up the courage of the faltering- l forgot
to ask the druggist how much Of this
should take to make a sure thing OF It.
don't want TO Overdo the thing. No
iceman does"
Why. pint ought to do the trick, but
why take any at all?''
mer?''
No"
Has there been a scarcity of ice?"
No"
Has the iceman had a chance to
double prices"
Early in the season. the newspaper
Yes, the newspaper Early in the sea-
son We had the prices all fixed. and the
story afioat that only millionaires could
run a family refrigerator during the sum-
mer. when those newspapers went at II
and busted US, Why. sir. the public
laughed at a raise of even 5 per cent:
When they got their chunks at old prices
some so-caIled philosopher put them up
to the trick of wrapping the chunks in
paper to make them last twice as long.
And the summer was a cool one.
And thousands Of families went to the
country 10 get hot.
And my wife won't get her diamonds.
And We can't winter at Palm Beach.
And there's no fur coat for me this
winter.
And can't buy that steam yacht
offered at half price.
And that manor house-it can't be
ours.
And my daughter can't go to Vassar
and my son to Yale.
wants to sell because he is going to
Europe.
"And-and"'-
You surely are to be pitied,'' said the
IF I had only gone into the under
taking business instead" moaned the
man.
But the undertaken must have his
struggles with misfortune
Yes he does. but he always charges
It in the bill, while the ice man has to
bear the loss"
But there is the police force left and
surely you would make a husky cop"
NO chance there. l am too honest"
Then? Them
THE carbolic route is the only one left.
See that they handle me reverently. and
that there is no pocket-picking, and give
me a poetic obituary beginning:
Ice-coh IS our ice man. wen see him more.
With his hunk he is waiting al Heaven IS wide door.
But had to give up when business went punk.
The Tale of the Coal Man.
On the door was a sign reading: For
sale cheap. Going out of business"
At his desk within sat a lonely man.
You could see despair in his eyes and !
in his attitude.
'wered the interviewer. Il shall sell out |
1t the first reasonable offer"
Got money enough to retire on?''
THE shop around the corner-the |
tombstone factory-is the place where |
hey make and sell jokes!' he severely !!
'eplied.
why. what is wrong
Your question and many other things. |
Do you think this date is twenty years
Igo?"
II don't"
Twenty years ago. when l entered
Ipon this business. it took a plug hat
o hold the money l made every week.
five years ago Dunn CPeter) rated me as
rood for $JO0,GOO You could look in the
,apers every Sunday and find some item
bout me-my wife's gowns-my horses
my butler-my arrival in Europe. and
10 on. 1 was mentioned as likely candi-
ate for Governor"
And there has come a changer" was
ueried.
TT began five years ago. sir"
But people are still burning COAL
True. sir-Are you a family man."
Nd Six 1