New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1913-06-14
AS | WAS SAYING


taking our planet across his knee, and his slipper
has been sadly missed. But times have changed
So has the planet We guess the new Ihoinds |ar-
Iyle-meaning of course. Mr.. Gerald Stanley Lee
will accomplish quite much by tickling It's lids
More. perhaps for the planet will read Crowds 10
some profit as the ideas that stick IN deepest anu
stay longest are those planet receives with laugh
ter
For instance here is Lee insisting that our modern
world lacks aim, lacks desire, lacks passionate
definite, eager purpose 1t bangs about in the uark
II makes great noise, strikes sparks now and then
but doesn't know where IT is going or particularly
care
ONLY see how entertainngly the new Carlyle can
rub this in. IF one to point out one trait
rather than another that makes Bernard Shaw' Ior
50 brilliant man. so ineffective leader. or liter
ary statesman. or social reformer. II would be his
modesty. He has never wanted anything
We learn that Mr. Norman Hapgood will not take
direct. personal charge" Of "Harper's Weekly I'LL
August IL but We find il immensely readable despite
the indirect mpersonal discharge of Colonel Harvey
Mr. Sidney Albert Sayce, the distinguished Mel
bourne journalist has paid us visit and eNpresseu
his surprise seeing many editors In Mel
bourne. it appears, paper has only one Inc
underngs describe themselves as mere pTessmeh'
Sorry! We prefer the American arrangement. where
tributing Editor-Yours Faithfully dil hred)-up to
the Distributing Editor. who dumps the paper at
your door.
NJ Leon Mlrman mas come out for Ministry OF
Public Health. quite If Paris were not already d
city of drug stores six the block and the Parsans
simply stuffed with heath-sying poisons! An
messieurs. how II is magazine. Ana Ihclueh'a'i' "o"
1t is droll!
No Frenchman ever thinks Of consulting physi-
clan Instead, he consults druggist, who feels MS
pulse takes his temperature examines his tongue
looks stupehed. and gasps: Alas. cher ami, yours
is a desperate case. In such an extremity should
appeal 10 less sayant than the eminent the
sublime Academcian. Or Pereachaise. up three
flights. lie may yet snatch You from the Jaws oi
death"
So the Frenchman rushes 10 Or. Perelachaise. who
X-rays and third-degrees him with awful nickel
plated scare producers holds out faint glimmers OF
hope and spends a half hour scrbbllng prescriptions
for powders for pellets for lotions, for potions for
gargles for hypodermics for sprays, for things In
bottles and things In boxes and things In bags.
Then he says "Alors mon gros" loading the pre-
scrptons into his patients arms. DO not risk your
life by patronzing unprncipled apothecary. Be-
ware Of falsihcations. by blue! Trust no less a
savant than the loyal and anectionate Monsieur
Mortsoudane, down three flights
Thanks to Mr.. Philip Hale. prepared to
contribute to that fascinating series. Why Crime
Does Not Pay" True. we robbed him Of very
beautiful paragraph-the one about two elderly
gentlemen missing a tran-but only to have him
turn upon us, with many polite chuckle, and say
II was not his paragraph Merely a quotation
Thus we are deposited in a cavity. though still game
and ready for this and all other emergencies. We
shall not believe him
Down with the versatile and particularly with Mr.
BENJAMIN Brooks who. after discoursing for ten
wears about steamships. locomotives, bridges and
such has broken into fiction with story In
Golfers" and a beastly good one, too We feel
that this is not right. And the more indig-
nant because he is an old hand at versatility, even
committing poetry:
If you want to find wife. come to Boston!
If you're single want to trade or have divorced one,
You'l find one there no doubt,
For they're lying all about.
Like Whitcomb Riley pumpkins with the frost
Every day the social settlements invent ways
OF becoming useful. though fear that too often
they. overlap on agencies that have already proved
their efficiency For instance social settlement
has just undertaken to teach young women how to
make themselves attractive to young men,
Noble Of course! But have the social settlers
never observed that this branch is being taught by
ten million placards in streetcars all over America?
Sparkle sparkle little teeth! What makes you
sparkle so?" Sweet breath, flashing eyes, curly
hair clear complexion. straight and the flavor
lasts" Everybody loves the Chckweed Girl"
X. L. III.