Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1913-07-03
Heard on the Streets
OF THE TOWN
BY OUR BUSY, BUSY MAN

By OUk BUS1 bOol MAN
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Don't believe more than half of what
you hear over a telephone.
Well, the weather man displays
marvellous versatility, to say the least.
There will be terrible run for ser
ums when they begin to cure wrinkles.
Fights and foot races are 4th of July
sports. But all of them don't wait for
the time set.
A mere look at the purse has reduced
many an Audubon mans summer va
cation fever.
Waterman, what of the night2"
Well, sir. it is little better than the
day just now.
The bathing costume that makes the
biggest hit is the one that covers the
least territory.
The man who can look prosperous
and happy when he is neither ultimate
ly comes out on top.
Extra is going to boost for our Chau-
tauqua and Audubon is boosting for
the Extra celebration.
An Extra bride says cooking three
meals day over hot stove in July
often cools the love of a June bride.
1t is always pointed illustration of
the irony of fate to catch in ones own
flesh the hook intended for the fish
OF course, one neighbor has right
to keep chickens, just as another has a
right to sleep after 4;30 in the morning
The girls make an emphatic denial of
the story and inasmuch as all girls are
truthful, their word is accepted as
final.
Its no disgrace to run when you are
scared, and its no disgrace to seek
shelter in a cave when a storm is ap-
preaching
1t is to hoped that, the swatting of
the fly having been raised to the dig
nifty of a campaign, the usual language
will not be used.
As TO those counterfit $50 bills in
circulation, YOU never have the slight
est trouble in remembering where you
get your POS do you?
Any married man is entitled to sym
pathy says an Audubon bachelor. But
when he gets married the second time
he deserves all he gets.
Here is the way an Audubon man
puts it. Some men are born rich,
some acquire riches and the rest of us
thrust riches upon them"
Love Makes the Home Look CoZy, &"
is the title of storiette Yes, and if
it is the real stuff, it does more than
merely make it look that way.
Acting in an cratic manner is not
necessarily an indication that man is
in love. He may merely have been
prevented from going to the ball game.
Evelyn Nesbit Thaw has put on a
wild turkey trot" in London all her
own. From photographs it is evident
that no ordinary tame turkey ever in
vented it.
All the patriotism that an unsafe and
insane Fourth of July can express does
not equal the fourth part of common
sense celebration that takes account of
life and limb.
The firecracker and the deadly toy
pistol will make desperate attempt to
fatten their batting averages this week,
but the automobile has managed to get
long lead in the mortality statistics
lately.
About the first thing graduates learn
after being launched on the sea of life
with their diplomas is that the rough
seas of practical application require
sterner crafts than are made of mere
sheepskins
July LIST is when a number of new
laws go into effect in this state. Now
that the first of the month has passed
Kangaroo court in Audubon has ceased,
but the state law was not responsible
for its abolition.
1t is an i'll wind that blows nobody
good. For instance a Nebraska man
was carried forty miles by the Easter
Sunday tornado and dropped in a
widows front yard. He married her and
returned home with about $35, 900 more
when he started.
The man who holds a public office to
punish his enemies and reward his
friends is an unsafe man in such q po-
sition. Men not far from here have
been guilty of just such offenses.
When the lime light caught them they
soon joined the has been" class.
A little boy dying of tetanus caused
by toy pistol accident is said to have
remarked as his last words: 80 many
kids have got to die every Fourth of
July, anyway" The little fellow, of
course, was wrong, but who is res
ponsible for the basis of his misappre-
hension2