Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1913-12-31
"LITERARY COMMISSIONS"
Being Series of Dementia Hallu-
cinations Reported Semi-Occa-
siChal'y for This Paper.
(By Ernest c. Foster Copyrighted.
January.

so the most unwelcome one. People
have foolishly established custom
of making January 1st an interna-
tional pay day, and thus robbed New
Years Day of whatever pleasure it
otherwise might have had
January has been PLAYING first fid-
die in the orchestra of Time ever
since Numa knc; ked the socks off
of March away back in the early
days of mythology and handed the
honor to Janus, who up until that
time, had been but a janitor for the
gods. Janus, it seems, had made
quite hit with the Romans while
! keeping their lawns moved and
their autos in repair, and one day
when he was cavorting around in
eth century woman wears, Numa de-
cided the cycle of then ten months
brought birthdays too often, so she
put in couple of extra ones, nam
ing the first for Janus and calling
the other one February. This twelve
cylinder arrangement has been in
vogue ever since, but now that wo-
men are getting hold of the ballot,
they probably will see a method of
growing old still more leisurely and
put in six or eight more installments.
January, month of bills, robber of
pray, what's the object, anyway? /
pay Jones and he pays White;
White pays Brown and Brown pays
j Wright; Wright then settles with
the Loves, and thus on and on it
goes. And, to liquidate a debt al
/, ways takes more than we get from
the fellow owing us-why, then,
Jany, start the fuss?
BY consulting any good almanac
one will find that January is to be
a cold month this year-unless the
temperature should remain around
y
bic rain or snow falls, the month
will be dry. However, no gardens
should be made this month-coal
bills and rheumatism are about the
only things that grow well in Janu-
airy. OF course, some scientist that
is long on hair and short on brains
may tell you there is absolutely nc
!, difference between January and July
and that our thinking there is, is
due solely to transformation uncon.
, sciously conveyed to the brain via
ignorance. Most of us, however viii
ed belief that there is a difference
of about $50 days and 100 degrees
of temperature, and, that while the
scientists may do as they like about
it, so long as we know the difference
between frost-bite and sunburn, we
are not going to frolic with January
unless we are clothed in more ina
gination.
The first day of January, 1914 is
the 2,430, 134th day since the com
mencement of the Julian period.
You may not believe this, off-hand,
but any old maid who has been at
all observing, will confirm the state
ment.
Another interesting fact in con-
nection with the new year is, that
there are to be four eclipses during
the twelve months, the honors be-
ing equally divided between the sun
and the moon. The annular eclipse
OF the sun comes on February "a,
and If you will row out into the mid
die of the Pacific ocean, and take
along piece of smoked glass you
may see it clearly. A total eclipse
of the sun is scheduled for August
p, and il you happen to be in Eur
ope, Asia, or Africa on that particu-
lar date you are entitled to gaze at
this phenomenon as much as YOU
like, free of charge. The other
eclipses, too, will be staged for
globe trotters, only, so there is no
use of our advertising them very
extensively.
Sunday, of all days in the week,
would seem to be the least desire
able on which to get stewed, but tn,
moon evidently figures it differently
and will become full on Sunday. the
eleventh. This will be it's first spree
of the year and will last until the
seventeenth.
The weather during January will
be almost as changeable as a wom-
ans waist-line, but the following
forecasts are correct: First to tenth,
cold and wet or dry and warm. From
the tenth to the twentieth look for
wet and cold, or warm and dry
weather, and from the twentieth To
the close of the month we are almost
certain to have it damp and chilly
unless it should be dry and warm.
January is about as liberal with
n VIC