The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1913-07-26
HIS CLEVER SCHEME
John Moran Arose to Occasion,
and Immediately Fell With
Great Splash.
~ hKRssnT pRooEn.


BY hKRRsRT DRooEA.
1918. by the Mcclure Nsws-
paper byndicate.)
Anything between the ridiculous and
the sublime probably would have left
John Moran with q very uncertain
Of the Fourth of July
Neither the one nor the
other. In his opinion, could have been
very fruitful Of results. But when tho
ridiculous followed close on the sub
lime. the two operated after . fash
ion peculiarly unoalculated and
brought Susan Duvau to an instan-
decision ON matter affecting
John, wherein all the p's and as she
had fingered over so long never be-
came finally resolved In her mind to
q syllogistio nicely.
OF the two extremes, the sublime
had been deliberately planned; 1t was
premeditated. The ridiculous wasn't.
The former was the result Of q clever
scheme and weeks of hard work. The
latter was the chance of minute, I'M
foreseen, unexpected and, some might
have said on the spot unpropitious.
For several years John Moran had
wooed Susan Duvau, but, so tar. he
seemed to himself no nearer the matri-
monial goal than he had been at the
beginning. All her people had been
assisting him without apparent avail.
He had pleaded with her; he had
coaxed and cajoled and even assayed
to coerce after a mild fashion, his
threats reaching that superlative pro-
portion where he promised to identify
himself for life with the sublime or.
der of bachelorhood. But, to all this.
she merely cast down her eyes de-
murely and asked him to wait awhile.
John calculated that he had waited
long enough. At first he had been
patient, but now he was growing des-
perate.
A score and one.half years had
come and gone around the life of
Susan. AS her thirty-flrst birthday ap.
preached, John, who had schemed un-
til his hair was beginning to fall out,
decided on bold stroke. He spent
the afternoon with her that day, and.
in the evening. they had dinner to-
gether downtown.
That night he sat with her on the
front porch, after the family had re-
tired. Over them dim light shining
from the parlor window. cast a pale
glow. John sat quietly, waiting for
the silence he depended on for the
furtherance Of his plan. After awhile
1t came, and then, when the stiffness
had locked the night in It's embrace,
he began to hum, "Silver Threads
Among the Cold" When he had
drew his chair closer to hers, reached
ceased. tears stood in his eyes. He
out for her hand again, and asked her
to become his wife. But 1t was the
same old prosaic answer"
"Wait awhile, john" she insisted.
"Wait awhile. Do something grand.
Show me that you can rise to the 90.
casion."
Rise to the occasion, he would. He
resolved that firmly as he stood up
forthwith and babe her good night.
He resolved it all the way home The
next morning he still resolved 1t. But
how?
A happy thought struck him. John
had penchant for happy thoughts.
He would make speech at Fourth
of July celebration. It would be 50
grand and SO eloquent, couched in
such rich expressions and so laden
with noble sentiment, that she could
not help but feel the appeal. He
would show her that he could rise
to the occasion!"
John got out his old. school do
tionary and brushed the dust from its
covers. Then he borrowed an i'm
mense volume Of masterpiece orationa
from a friend and read every speech
he could find that contained any pa
triotic reference or expression. Fol
four weeks, he labored almost inces
sanity, night and day, on his effusion
and finally he had 1t completed.
An obstacle that John had not reck
oned on now doomed up. John was q
member of the program committee
and he doubted the propriety Of hav
ing himself included among the list
Of speakers. But he remembered his
penchant, and called 1t into play
again, with good effect.
The morning before the celebration
he called around to see the chairman
of the committee.
you e-ahem!-Mr. Grubbs,
John began. being one Of the commit
tee, I should regret to see any part
Of the program fall fat"
"Just 3d." answered the chairman
n feel the same way"
well, as a matter Of precaution
Mr.. Grubbs, l think l shall prepare q
few remarks myself today. shoult
any Of the speakers be tardy, or fail
to respond, you might call on me-"
Zine idea, John. I'll do It"
Then John took himself around Il
the residence of Squire Sloan. HI
A