Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1913-11-11
Seuen Keys to Baldpate
BY EARL DERR BlGGERS
Copyright by Bopbs-merrin Coz

I might at least refrain from publicly
ccmmt nding a type of woman found
chiefly in musical comedy choruses. |
received a note from the president OF
the university, asking me to be more
circumspect in my remarks. Me-
Thadeus Bolton--the most conserya-
tive man on earth by instinct
"And still the denunciations OF me
poured in: still women's clubs held
meetings resolving against me; still
steady stream of reporters flowed
through my life. urging me to state
my views further, to name the ten
greatest blondes in history, to-
heaven knows what. Yesterday I re-
solved I could stand it no longer.
determined to go away until the
whole thing Was forgotten. But,
they said to me, there is no place on
land or sea where the reporters will
not find YOU ] talked, the matter
over with my old friend, John Bent
ley, owner of Baldpate Inn, and he in
kindness gave me the key to his
hostelry.f' -
The old man paused and passed a
silk handkerchief over his bald head.
That. SIR he said, is my story.
That is why yon see me on b;aldpate
Mountain this chill December morn :
ing. That is why loneliness can have
no terrors. exile no sorrows for me.
That is why | brayely faced your re.
volver shots. Again let me repeat,
bear no malice on that score You
have ruined a new derby hat, and the
hororarium of professor even at a
le7 ing university ~ not such as to
permit of many purchases in that
pne But / forgive you freely. Even
at the lannon's mouth ! would have
fled from reputation, to para phrase
the roet''
Wisely Professor Bolton blinked
about him. MIR. Bland was half asleep
in his ch"i'' b'it Mr.. Magee was quick
with sympathy.
Professor, hc said. you arr a
much suffering man I feel for you.
Here, | am sure, YOU are safe from
reporters. and the yellow Journals will
soon forget you in their discovery of
the next distorted wonder. Briefly,
MIR. Bland and myself will outline the
tangle of events that brought us to
the inn"
Briefly is right, broke in Bland.
"Ard\ then it's me for that noun
famous mattress of mine | can
rattle my story off in short order, and
give you the fine points tomorrow,
Un to a short time ago ----'--- =
But ELY Magee interrupted. An
idea, magnificent, delicious, mirthful
had come to him. Why not? He
ehuck'ed inwardly, but his face was
most S1rious.
y should like to tell my story first
If YOU please" he said
The haberdasher grunted. The pro.
fessor nodded. Mr.. Magee looked
Bland squarely in the eye. stranglec
the laugh inside him, and began:
Up to a short time ago ! was 8
haberdasher IN the city of Reuton
MY name, let me state. is Magee-
William Magee. / fitted the gay
should blades of Reuton with cloth,
ing from the back pages of the maya,
zlres and as for neckties-"
Mr. BANDS sly eyes had opened
wide. He rose to a majestic height
majestic considering the bed quilt.
See here" he began.
Please don't interrupt requisite,
Mr.. Magee sweetly Il was, as I hav,
said, happy. carefree haberdasher
And then--she entered my life Ara
bella was her name. All. professor
\ your lady of the yellow locks. crispe'
liken golden wire-even she mus
inever in my presence be compared
with Arabella, She--she had--a--fac
NOAH Webster couldn't have founs
words to describe it. And her hear
was true to yours truly--at least,
thought that 1t was
! Mr.. Magee ratified on. The habet