The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1913-06-20
GINGER OR
NO GINGER
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

- was NAO SCdlo o5Os W uCl
Liverpool was an innocent village Of
thirty houses, that Adiniron Tompkin:
and Moses Wheeler was among thu
men lOatin' at the postoffice and Adm
was goin' to bake pumpkin pies on the
morrow and that he must buy cents
worth Of ginger to season with.
You don't tell me that you put gin
ger In pumpkin pies" says Moses.
"Of course"
"What furf"
ITO add to their goodness"
"But 1t don't add to their goodness
not with folks who've got more taste
than cowl It's all a fool biZness. and
where it started from don't know. A
pumpkin pie is a pumpkin pie, and you
can't neither make gingerbread MOI
bran soup out of it."
His words made Adiniron mad, and
the two had Jaw lastin' fur half an
hour. AS both were church members
they didn't come to blows, but they
was never to be good friends ag'in
The next time they met Moses Wheeler
tried to look as mean as he could and
stuck up his nose and said:
WAL, Adiniron. are you turnin' out
many pumpkin pies with skunk's cab.
bage for seasonin' nOwadaysY
"Not many. Noses" said Adiniron,
with a CLINT in his eye. only jest huff
to feed the town fool on"
That was the way the thing went on.
After three years Of argument and dis.
pute Moses weakened enough to say
that leetle nutmeg grated into pump
kin helped the taste of the pie. but be
wouldn't yield Il hairs breadth ON gin
| ger. If there was huskin bee, a
barn ralsin' or log rollin' them two
men was allus there. and jest as soon
as they sighted each other the dispute
began. 1t finally split up the town
into gingerites and nutmegites. and
there was heap of hard feelin's. At
various times the ministers tried to
bring about a reconciliation. They'd
go to Adiniron and ask him fur the
good of the community to weaken on
bis gingegSand they'd go to Moses and
tell him that if the spire of the Bap-
fist church was ever to be finished
he'd got to let pumpkin pies go and
talk of doughnuts or turnovers. Both
men would think it over and promise
and agree and shake hands the next
time they met and call it all off They'd
meet at the postofiice. and they'd shake
hands and purtend to be sorry, but it
wouldn't be two minits before Adm
iron would say:
Moses. | reckon you've heard of
that fellow Milton. who wrote Para
disc Lost'?"
"Of course"
mighty smart man, wasn't he?
"You bet"
"WaaI, his wife used ginger in her
pumpkin piesr'
That would bust everything up agin.
and the old quarrel would be resumed.
and probably at the next prayer meet
in Moses would ask heaven to bear
with them of dcpraved tastes. and
Adiniron would appeal that them who
didn't know nuthin' shouldn't be cut
off in their ignorance like a green bass
wood tree
1t was only few nights ago that the
end came Both men had got old and
feeble and ailin' in body. but their
minds was still sot as hard as ever.
Adiniron had been talkin' most all day
with a windmill man. and Moses had
had tin peddler at his house over
night. and both had got heap of new
information. When they sauntered
into the postoffice at o'clock Adm
iron puts on a grin and says:
Moses. you've heard Of them pyra.
mids of Egypt. I reckon?"
"Know 'em like book" says Moses.
but they wasn't built of your kind of
pumpkin pies"
mo, they wasn't. but the men who
built 'em was fed on my kind of pump
kin pies. I've got the figgers right here
Of jest how much ginger was used
every week. If it hadn't been fur GIN
ger there'd hev been no pyramids; new
er could hev been built on plain pump
kin pies In all this world"
"Mebbe not" says Moses. but them
pyramids are no great shakes. Mebbe
you are aware that Christopher Colum-
bus diskivered American"
1--WE heard So"
"And what did he do it on?"
Ambition"
mot much! Adiniron Tompkins, I've
got bar'ls of proof right in my coattail
pocket that he did it on pumpkin pies"
with ginger In 'em?
"Not any-only plain"
81 don't believe itv'
"Then you're a mewl"
Don't call me namesr'
"And don't bristle up to mep'
Then Of sudden Moses went white
in the face and took on a queer look,
and purity soon It was found that he
had a stroke of paralysis. They took
him home, and he died that night, but
afore passin' away he looked up at his
wife in a way that meant plain pump
kin pies Adiniron was jest used up
over 1t. He no longer had any one to
dispute with, and even lightnln' rod
men didn't seem to care rap wheth-
er his pies were plain or Fingered. 1t
wasn't over a month before he was on
his dyin' bed He was conscious to
the last. and the very last words he
said was:
maria. I'm goin' to heaven to meet
Moses Wheeler. and as there is no end
to time up there I'm goin' to use up
ten millyon years in convincin' Moses