The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1913-05-22
AT THE BOARDING
HOUSE TABLE
A Few Things Explained.

I
at the boarding house breakfast table
as he speared a biscuit with his fork
Il see this man, ex-senator Burton.
! has confessed out in San Francisco
That was quite a graft mixup out
! there, l guess"
Miss Chunky, the fat school teacher.
hurriedly put her coffee cup down and
| coughed. Then she laughed.
! Now, what do you think of that"
she said. Ex-senator Burton out in
Frisco! Oh, Mr.. Neverthink, you'll be
the death of me yet You'll make me
laugh myself to death. You ought to
read the newspapers
| Whats the joke?" asked the clerk,
folding a pancake preparatory to put
ting it in his mouth.
why, ex-senator Burton isn't mixed
up in that San Francisco affair. He's
from Kansas City, Mo. He never was
in Frisco, so far as | ever heard"
Pardon me, Miss Chunky came
from Wheat, the grain man. but aren't
you wrong about Burton's being from
Kansas City? l think"
| There you go again, Mr.. Wheat.
| OF course, anything | say in your pres
ence is wrong. In fact, when you're
near I'm a regular knownothing," and
the fat school teacher cast a look of
! scOrn at the grain man. The latter
went down behind his newspaper and
| there was silence for a moment.
We'll, didn't somebody confess to
grating out there in Frisco?" asked
Neverthink.
Sure said the fat school teacher.
ut was this man Rueff Schmidt"
Didn't they try to blame the big
fire on him, Miss Chunky" asked Miss
Primm, the little cd maid
'Oh, no. | think not" was the re-
| ply. The earthquake caused that, be-
! yond a doubt"
Il thought said Neverthink, stir
! ring his coffee round and round, that
! the Japs got mixed up in that trouble
and that President Roosevelt wasn't
! going to let them go to school,"
SILLY boy" came from Miss Chunky.
; AT the time of the earthquake and
fire there were no Japs in Frisco
the grain man from behind his paper.
At first the fat school teacher
! thought the question was meant seri-
! ously. Il think not she said. Then
the quiet laughter of the grain man
| made her realize that he had sprung
| joke and that she had bitten"
But, by the way, Mr.. Wheat" she
added, I'D rather you wouldn't spring
any Of your coarse witticisms at my
| expense. You ought to be playing end
man in the minstrel show of George
| Cohan. You're funnier, I think, than
| even George Primrose Dockstader. But
your WORK is coarse"
The grain man did not reply. The
| railroad man next to him smiled
family.
81 thought" said Neverthink, that
it was just the other way. l under
stood the Jap school children wanted
to labor and the president said, No,
sir; you'll go to school, Then when
he did it this Queen Alexandra, dow
| ager empress of China and Japan, got
sore''
Goodness me, Mr.. Neverthink!"
said the fat school teacher why on
| earth don't you put in few minutes
! day and read the newspapers? You
talk idiotically. The empress of China
has nothing to do with Japan. further
! than to keep Siam out of her hands.
And Queen Alexandra is the wife of
England's kaiser, not of China's
mikado."
| THAT so?" said Neverthink, inno-
, Gently. Il thought it was the other
way"
The grain man smiled at the rail-
road man and the latter smiled back.
But they both kept discreetly quiet.
Everybody was busy eating for cou-
pie of minutes and then Neverthink
said:
81 see Harry Thaw has got his luna
tic commission. Looks like that fell
low can get anything he wants, eh?'
He didn't want it," responded Miss
Chunky quickly. HE says he'd rather
go to the electric gallows than to an
insane asylum"
They call them nut factories, don't
they, Miss Chunky?" asked Wheat
| without a smile.
mot at ALL replied the fat school
teacher haughtily. Nut factory is
slang for iron foundry Iron nuts are
made for bolts at such places"
us there such place as a cocoanut
factory?" asked Wheat
Funny again, eh?' came from Miss
Chunky. 1T seems to me that after
each meal here have to sit down and
take rest. Mr.. Wheat's alleged jokes
make me so tired"
Again Wheat went out of sight be.
hind his paper.