The Birmingham age-herald., 1913-05-24
DOLLY WAKES ELOQUENT
ON THE JOYS OF A PICNIC
The Following Story Appeared in These Columns Spring
Of 1911, and BY Request it is Reproduced Today
BY DOLLY DALRYMPLK

DALHt MfLh
guest, 1t seems. at picnics, and when.
ever he let's go his rain checks
then behold
Your shoes are as muddy as a coun-
tryman's and | loathe getting mud on
my poots-there's nothing stuck up"
about me.
Out of mud hole somebody yells:
There goes a rabbit, Good luck If
1T crosses your PATH"
Good luck nothing; he's run straight
In front of you, and there you are
stuck in the mud
| DO You call that luck?
9es-it's one kind.
Is there anything so sweet in life as
| the pink lemonade at picnic partyp
Or the lump sponge cake which bas
| linked arms with it since the first pic-/
ME was devised as an al fresco en-
| tertalnment?
Excepting, of course, the hard boiled
eggs,
Have you ever noticed that disguise
a hard boiled egg as you NAV with
'deviled' ham, mustard, bread crumbs
and all the paprika and salt and sea-
soning in the world, it's still a hard
| boiled egg-the hardest thing Under
| meath the blue canopy of heaven to get
down your poor throat without 1t
sticking?
Why one of them is bad enough
but two would upset the serenity of
| saint!
| Then dessert time" comes. and nv
| this hour It's anything. oh Lord, to
| XIII consciousness with you, and so Won
deVour cream puffs and pies and Gus
| tards, and ice cream, and finish the
good work of paraiyzing your mind
| deadening yourself to the discomforts
| n hat 1.ar,
you We been sitting on it-or an ant
that's progressing down your collar ev
cry moment farther and farther-be
yond your reach!
| There's absolutely nothing to do at a
picnic but to keep OH eating"
They add more water to-khe pink lem
| onade-or more "pink''-and they pass
the cake again. and you stuff and stun.
| hoping that soon the conveyance that
| is to take you back home to your
home, sweet home.' will soon be ready
| TO transport YOU to that coveted spot.
| "hlle the others troop off to see a
| rock or a cave" that Somebody's
| discovered" you make an excuse and
go or to yourself and find lonesome
| old tree and fall down under ii and
| covering up your face with your hands
attempt to take a nap.
OF course you may take 1t, If you
| don't believe In ear-wigs!
| Now. an ear-wig to me holds the
| same terror that tarantula does and
so you find yourself running like a
| March hare to find the Others" and
| during the chase you encounter num-
berless lizards and frogs and heaven
| save us-a snakei real rightly gar
ter snake. Ye Gods.!
Ana the others" have all gone and
left you deserted and unprotected fe-
| male IN all THAT vast wilderness with
only garter snake for company.
| At last. after the most miserable day
] of your life, the time comes to go home
| You get in the automobile train or
wagon, or whatever you've gone In, and
people sit all over you. and they talk
] loud and carry on about the beau
| ties of nature and how grand it is to
| get out once in while and commune
with Mother Earth. and all that stuff
and nonsense, and just abou. the time
you are wishing you were dead, some-
| thing about the machine breaks down.
| and
Everybody out.' shouts the chauffeur,
and then tools and things get busy and
you hop out and the ant in your shirt
waist is crawling around mere promis-
| euousy on your premises than ever and
your feet are muddier and your eyes
| hurt and your head aches, and you've got
| Indy so bad you feel like you could
| fast for Ia steady weeks, and then mur-
der the first person who mentioned food
| to you
| OH but it's great to spend day in the
| woods-picnicking.
| 1t is to my mind the only thing in the
world that makes anybody appreciate
Eve for her ingenuity in getting us all
| out of the picnic" way of living.
If 1t hadn't been for her right now
| we'd know nothing of the joys of bath
I tub-and the peace of heaven in good,
comfortable bed
| That night when you've taken a bath,
hot enough to boil a lobster, and turned
| into your downy couch. you dream all
| night about when the "Dryads" fled and
why, and then in your dreams some
body says, have you awakened and
answered the question yourself:
1T was the first Sunday school picnic
| skip from the woods"
But the amazing part of the whole
thing is this:
Two weeks after such an experience
nay, "dee-lighted," to undergo another
such outing"
| Statistics show that the average per-
son, every summer of his life, goes to at
4 least six such affairs
How quickly does the sponge of Time
| eral minds
| We can't even remember how terrible
a hard boiled egg is until we have met
/ II face to.<face gain md than olo